#and thats what matters. IT TOOK 6 REAL LIFE YEARS TO GET HERE!!!!!!!!!!! | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

yoonyia · 3 months ago

Note

If you get this, answer w/ three random facts about yourself and send it to the last seven blogs in your notifs. anon or not, doesn’t matter, let’s get to know the person behind the blog! (no pressure! ❤️)

im not comfortable sending questions right now (bad mental state, cant dm strangers on the internet for some reason, makes me breakdown)

but i will give you 3 fun facts about myself

hello quick introduction, my name is Yoonseo Chang (no middle name, but my parents spell my name Yoon Seo for some reason but that isnt correct) my korean name is 장윤서, phonetically translates to jang yoon seo but its written as chang because my grandpa lived in china as a factory worker for a long time then decided to go with the chinese version of my last name

im in middle school but ill graduate this winter (again)

oh yea fun fact, im going to graduate middle school twice for the same grade but in 2 different countries and between 6 months

dont think about it a lot

i was born in korea and moved to sejong at around 4 but i didnt really live here then, i was with my grandma in 고령 (i dont know how to translate that, just know its a really really rural area)

fun fact number 2! my grandma owns a pig farm with over 3000 pigs, she also has blue pigs but no one believes me when i say theyre real

they might just be pigs painted blue but i swear i saw them AND SHE TELLS ME SHE DOES HAVE BLUE PIGS IM NOT INSANE

then when i was 5 me and my dad followed mom to singapore for her extra studies

we lived there for a year then she went to america as an exchange student and took us with her again and there i witnessed racism ✨️

it was fun tho thats where i learned english, had a best friend with really cool elastic hair rings who really liked pbjs (i never got the appeal but i remember them fondly because of her) i have a vaguely new haven accent cause i lived there

then i came back to korea for elementary school and stayed until i graduated, met my favorite teacher ever in the school (neulbom-늘봄- means always spring) called teacher sophie, she was an english teacher from canada and i love her dearly, probably should reach out to her again, and i also had like 4 friends there, they all left me but honestly thats fine, theyre all korean kids who went international and they just went international again (lia please if you find this i love you and i need you in my life again please why did you stop getting my emails IS IT BECAUSE YOUR DAD WORKS FOR THE FBI?) i also had a few neighborhood friends but i stopped talking to them when i was leaving

then i went and stayed in thailand for nearly 3 years

i went to an international school called NIST (new international school thailand) and i made quite a few friends there

oh yea and before i forget shout out to @charlee0915 for being the first ever friend of mine to stay with me for longer then 3 years, thank you so much for still talking to me even after i left the country, it means a lot.

then now im in korea and i get to experience thw wonders of seasons and an inhumane concentration of stress on the general population

Fun fact not for me but for my country, we have the highest suicide rate in the world, not only that we have crushing devastating suicide rates for students and elderly, but mostly for the same reasons

we are a society where efficiency is your worth, your skills your abilties what you can be of help for others faster and better then everyone else is your reason to live

for students the fear is that they wont be of use, because they cant keep up and fall behind their peers, so the stress piles up quickly as the competition worsens as one gets older and closer to graduation

the fear for the elderly is largely the same fear of not being of worth, that they can no longer serve their lives purpose of being effcient and skillful and they cant bare being alone (koreans have an increasing neglect for previous generations) and cant bare being alone doing nothing being worth nothing and slowly aging, forgetting and dying

so i feel like you can get a grasp on what type of society korea is just from that

we also have so much racisim

like more then america but we're so monogonous that no one knows its wrong

people call each other the n word and make jokes like "if a 19th century england man saw you he would make you a slave" and then they would laugh about it

this is refering to other koreans who are comparatively tanner

i want to burn my classmates sometimes

last fun fact, i have probobly undiagonsed shizophernia, its a pretty big part of my life and honestly i just want people to know that im a person that you know with a condition that is often fantasized and antagonized but im just a person (a horrible one but it has nothing to do with my condition)

and also maybe a bonus funner fact is im an artist and a writer and a dungeon master, and im very tired because of it (chronic pain woooooooo genetic migranes are horrid)

anyways i talked for way too long thank you for the ask!!

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cchollygolighty · 1 year ago

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I can’t wait to meet me again in a year

To be proud, no matter what! We should be proud about the small things, small achievements, they make us strong

Even the darkest of times are blessings, and I sure felt that

You never learn from good and happy times, you learn from the nasty ones

I failed such an importante person for so long, me! I didn’t let people fail me, I did that to myself…… I was betraid, broken, left alone, made fun off, violated, and so much more, and I suffered it all in silent….but no matter how broken I got, I needed it! Life is not meant to be enjoyed, yet to be survived. I went to fucking hell, and survived. Yes hell, and yes, survived. No matter how bad every day was, I survived it, the best I could, and I should be proud of that.

2 years ago, at this exact day, I learnt that my mom had cancer, and I told no one. NO ONE! Not even her! I just heard what I wasn’t supposed to hear. Didn’t felt real at first, but I knew what I had to do. I had people to protect, no matter the sanity and things that cost me. So I pretended, everything “was fine”. I told my ex 3 week after, he wasn’t an ex back then, my guy best friend 3 months later, and my girl best friend 6 months later. Since then, I live 24/7 with the “pain” from it, and all the shit that came along the way. My 2 best friends, God be good, and I do not believe in God, I know them since 2010, and when I met them, I fell in love with them right away, yes love, cause you have love for friends right? And everyday, they moved moutains for me since then. From Pedro calling me at 3 am only to check if I was “breathing” at least 3 times a week, to Anastacia being there on every panic attack I had, and they were so many. These 2 are for life! There were so much shit I had to “survived” this past 2 years, besides my mother’s health, that almost killed me a month ago. The pain and the shit that happened to me and the people that I love on the course of these 2 years were so unbearable that my body alone started to shut down. From my skin to a kidney failure, my mental health was literally killing me from inside out. I lost myself so much that I had to get mental help, went to a psychiatrich, and I am on my second week of treatment.

Do you know what hurted the most? I pitied myself, for months. What a shame. Stupid bitch. I should be proud, I am still here, I didn’t quit, I took a “pause” and went for help, cause we all suffer in different ways. Thats amazing you know? Admitting to things, feelling, thats my favorite type of people, the ones that admit are hurting, you start lacking empaty when you hide your pain and feelings, doesn’t make you strong, makes you even more weak, makes you full of yourself, stupid, dumb. Wouldn’t the world be so much better if we share our battels? Even the little ones, the “stupid ones”? It’s not stupid to feel, it’s unnatural to not feel.

These past 2 years, I lost people, I’ve met people, some I know already that will be for life, and a lot I will never be part of it again! If you didn’t want me, care for me, demand of me, not even tried to understand me or reach to me just to check in, get the fuck out. And don’t come back! Those, are not welcome anymore. I put up with so much shit, I am a really good friend and a fucking good person.

These 2 years were hell, but above all, were a blessing!

I am the type of person that learns from mistakes, insecure but kind, I know my worth, I forgot about it for so long, but I had to, I needed to….I needed to fall to grow, to rise, and to fall hard, because the next time, I will be prepared, and I will learn even more. Knowledge, and knowledge is power, and always stay humble.

I hope in a year I meet the love of my life, the one that I should have met years ago, me! And I will love her, care for her, and never abandone her again.

A quick reminder, a simple text matter, a simple call, a simple “hi”, a simple meme, just an emoji, and a sorry means the world. Do and say what you feel, the world needs people like that. Always be kind, and remember, you never know the answer until you ask, even if you don’t like it, at least you didn’t die wondering.

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phantomrose96 · 5 years ago

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New BNHA, new liveblog, 0 miles today because the gyms are all closed. this is weird for me.

REALLY loving each and every one of the hand-wavy reasons Horikoshi gives for “fuck it i just wanted Aizawa (or maybe Mirio?) to adopt a kid”

Aizawa: “Look, the hospital kicked her out, her parents are MIA, her grandpa’s in a coma, and it’s not like Mirio is doing anything right now.” Mirio: “Haha yeah :DD”

“We worked for like 15 episodes to steal her, you think we’d just, what, give her BACK? Finders fucking keepers, Midoriya.”

Sometimes a family is an out-of-commission 18 year old, a really tired teacher, a traumatized little girl, and the ugliest godDAMN sweater on the planet

Dats gay

I really like the Wild Wild Pussycats casual clothes???

Their whole aesthetic is Your Three Lesbian Aunts And One Gay Uncle Visiting For Thanksgiving

Kota has... Deku’s Shoes... thats real fucking cute

SPEAKING of cute: Ragdoll is an absolute gem and I wish there was more of her in the Training Camp arc she’s a real cutie

I’m glad we’re finally learning how rankings work, considering the very concept of the ranking system has been absolutely core to the series since Day 1. Like 90-something episodes in and Horikoshi is finally like “oh i should explain how that works”

I’m a big fan of how, whenever something Thematically Relevant to Todoroki is said, they just have to pan to his blank face, because it’s not like he’d ever. you know. participate in the conversation. not his style. we only get the Meaningful Panning Shot.

Is that

Is that a

Is that a washing machine?

Is the #8 hero a washing machine?

Never mind

Wait is THAT man just named Crust?? Poor bastard is the #6 hero and his hero name is crust.

Like I KNOW it’s a japanese show and they can’t know all the impli--but i mean, but i

“Most Underappreciated Part of a Pizza Hero: Crust”

oh HELL YEAH

OH HELL YEAH

also btw i really like Edgeshot’s voice. especially during the Kamino arc. it’s like, hypnotically chill

its him... finally... the bastard of lore.... i’ve heard whispers of this fucker

oh like he’s an ASSHOLE-ASSHOLE

“Who are you trying to make happy with that statement? Stain?” O H SO like he’s an A S S H O L E

Mirko: “You’re an asshole. ...I LIKE that”

how quick i am to stan two separate characters within 30 seconds of meeting them

what arrogance. what audacity. what flippant fucking disregard. i’d like TWELVE of him please.

Hawks: -speaks- Me:

you know whats great? you know whats fantastic? his whole wing motif. because it doesn’t matter that Endeavor’s like 6′5″, Hawks can still float above him and condescend to him

hes looking down his fucking nose at this man. ICONIC.

Hawks: “Just so everyone knows, I have a higher approval rating than Endeavor, and I have more fans, and my hair is way better than his. Anyway, you wanted to microphone, Bitch Boi?”

REALLY vibing with Hawks’ sarcasti-clapping of Endeavor’s speech to a completely silent audience

ASJSAHJAS, AN ICON. #1 HERO OF MY HEART, HAWKS

“Shame” as a quirk is a hilarious concept. And also how do you discover this? “Little Timmy’s fly was open at school and he promptly took out a wall”

and Hawks just fucking DECKS him from behind. LOVE the bait and switch of Shame-Man being important.

Endeavor: “Is he... is he dead?” Hawks: “Hot pot!! :DD”

The stupidest looking dog. i LOVE it

Just jumping in front of a truck for NO narrative reason other to have Hawks’ feathers save it

while hawks is STILL TALKING ABOUT FOOD

I MEAN BITCH SAME, BITCH RELATABLE, BUT LIKE

CHEEKY. love his stupid bits of English.

the autograph signing scene was basically just the Talent Show episode of Spongebob where Squidward and Spongebob do exactly the same thing, Spongebob being met with uproarious applause and Squidward being met with dead silence.

me buying shit in a craft store i cannot possibly need nor use, but it was shiny and only $5

Hawks calls Tokoyami “Tsukuyomi”?? am i missing something there or did he straight up get the name wrong?

Hawks: “I tried to scout your son but turns out he’s a failure. Runs in the family? :D”

85% of the reason I’m loving Hawks is because he’s JUST here to make Endeavor’s life harder, and that’s something I support every day of the week.

Hawks: “I just want to complain about how nothing happened today and then go to bed”

That one’s not a joke thats a direct fucking quote and WOW BITCH SAME

Endeavor: “how do you know about these Nomu rumors?” Hawks: “I’m a nosy bitch who loves gossip and can’t mind my own business? How would I not know about this???”

I understand this is a serious and dramatic screenshot, but also I’m too caught up in the notion that - when experiencing some strong emotion - Todo can’t help but just Light Himself A Little On Fire

Deku: “Good morning Todoroki! Are you ready for our English test today? :D” Shouto: -catches fire- Shouto: “...Our what”

Lunchrush: “Hey there, what can I get you?” Shouto: “The cold soba” Lunchrush: “All out of cold soba, sorry” Shouto: -catches fire- “That’s fine. Just the ramen then.”

Endeavor: “Hey.. son... Shouto... I’ve been thinking... With all the steps I’ve made to be a better hero, don’t you think maybe it’s time you forgive me?” Shouto: -actively on fire. 100% encased in flame- “Let me think about it.”

#boku no hero academia #my hero academia #bnha #mha #you say run #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #long post #chrissy watches bnha #BIG fan of EVERYTHING hawks did #LOVE a bastard man

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shattered-catalyst · 4 years ago

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Intro to OCD for the RPC part 1/?

This is a balmy 6 page document on the VERY BASICS of OCD by a person who has had OCD for over 15 years and knows their shit.

If you want to write a character who has OCD this series is going to be a good starting point. If you dont know much about OCD I encourage you to read it so you can be an ally to those of us who have the disorder.

OCD is made into a cultural joke and when there isnt the ‘Obsessive Cat disorder’ bullshit its an angst off with other people and their non-ocd intrusive thoughts. Its different. Do your research and be an ally.

This will cover the very very basics. The next post will look into subtypes of OCD and how those are experienced.

Whomst can write it?

Literally anyone as long as you

● Do so respectfully and not make a mockery of the disorder and the harm it causes in peoples lives

● Dont make OCD the characters single thing or boil them down to it entirely ● Do respect the experiences and opinions of muns who have the disorder if they have concerns about your portrayal.

● Dont milk it for angst - unless you have OCD in which case release some of your angst.

● Dont try and say you know what intrusive thoughts are because they have *insert any other neuro a-typical thing here*

● Dont police how Muns who have OCD choose to portray it. Its our experience not yours. I like to write out my characters OCD as I experience OCD so my experiences are different from other muns. OCD is very diverse in its effects but always ask if you arent sure.

. What isnt OCD?

● Cleanliness or organization- OCD is NEVER an adjective.

● Planning/ Hypervigilance/Organized/Methodical

● Turning light switches on and off, unplugging things (find out more on later time)

● “I have to organize my pencils otherwise it bothers me” “ I have to make sure my mattress is straight” “ my nails have to be the same length” are all typical responses from people WHO DO NOT have OCD.

● Making sure objects are lined up neatly

● Having things go in a particular order like the letters CDO as the joke goes

● Really loving Cats, Corgis, or Christmas; if you own any of these items i urge you to reflect and also send me 10$ (jk but do reflect)

The Barest minimum

Google OCD this will be an advanced version of OCD. This will be long but if you want to be aware of others or want to write the character you will read it.

OCD is made of Obsessions. Triggers. Anxiety, Compulsions/Rituals.

1. Obsessions are the thoughts

2. Triggers are the object/person/image/situation/smell ETC

3. The Anxiety occurs is at uncomfortable levels to the point of panic or anxiety attacks

4. Compulsions or Rituals are performed

*There is a variant of OCD called Pure O. In this individuals have the obsessions triggers and anxiety but there is NO compulsion or ritual. This is still valid OCD.

Obsessions are the precursors to the flawed unwanted and harmful intrusive thoughts:

Im going to use you so you really understand this because its important.If you misunderstand this you are basically encouraging a mental health condition and dont get a sticker for reading this far.

First check out this link as it has ALL the subtypes and examples.

Obsessions can be hidden by the intrusive thought and teasing them out can be difficult to do if you have the disorder because well its a disorder okay thats why. It boils down to ‘i could harm someone’ ‘i could cause harm’ ‘ i may have accidentally harmed ___’ ‘ i may accidentally harm’ etc

This is the flawed powerful belief that predate the Intrusive Thought.

Intrusive thoughts appear in every brain on earth. They are not special or unusual however intrusive thoughts with OCD get stuck in the brain- meaning they stay there no matter what you do. So yes , they are different from intrusive thoughts in other conditions.

The thing about OCD is that it latches on to what you hold dear; it may be you are a caring person and love children and animals- your OCD would give you intrusive violent or sexual thoughts or images. These are horrible to experience. They are not welcome nor appreciated and there is no benefit or positive side to having them.

If say social justice is something you hold dear your ocd may take the form of intrusive thoughts of slurs, jokes, visuals etc. These are horrible to experience and lead to high levels of anxiety and are not positive nor beneficial to have in any way shape or form.

Maybe you would not harm someone or you value others; your OCD may present as graphic intrusive images or thoughts around poisoning, stabbing,accidental..ly murdering (yeah you read that right), hitting, insulting etc someone else

I must emphasize this because it is critical that people understand POCD: for the sake of those of us who have OCD read this until its burned into your brain.

This is the fucked up awful Obsessive thought that you are/were/ or could be sexually attracted to children. This is NOT pedophilia. People kill themselves over this because they are afraid that these intrusive thoughts are true. People isolate themselves and dont have families out of fear of harming a child. People take work in different fields or avoid areas with children out of the absolute terror their obsessive thoughts could be true. This is NOT pedophilia. There is NO attraction present.

Most people who experience POCD intrusive thoughts would rather punch a sharknado than even THINK of hurting a kid in any way shape or form. That is why the OCD does its thing it is like having an abusive brain.

Again for clarity's sake

If you value social justice -> the intrusive thoughts violate social justice stuff

If you value animals -> intrusive thoughts come up with harming animals

If you care about the protection and safety of children -> POCD

Triggers would be the situation, scenario, object, person,creature, context etc that is related to the Obsession. It can be literally anything.

What follows is a hell of a lot of anxiety that can range anywhere from discomfort to full on panic attacks.

Everyone has different intrusive thoughts and everyone experiences different amounts of distress upon being triggered.

● As a side bar. Do not ever try and expose someone to their triggers or write about a character being exposed to their triggers as a way to help ‘cure them’ or ‘expose them’ to ANYTHING. What you are doing is literally taking someone with a mental illness and shoving them into a breakdown and thats a piece of shit move. Exposure therapy does exist and is done by professionals TRAINED in ERP. My parents did this a lot and I am positive I am not alone in that experience.

Compulsions or Rituals: Now you may be saying ‘hey i know what those are’ yeah dude me too and I have had ocd for over 15 years and trained in mental health for 7 and guess what. They teach ya wrong.

Compulsions or ‘rituals’ are any behavior done to alleviate the anxiety from the intrusive thought and trigger object.

This can be as passive as ‘i am leaving the room’ ‘ i am checking my body sensations’ ‘ i am trying SO HARD TO HEAR MY HEARTBEAT’ .

It can also be repeating the same thing over and over. To illustrate this I once mentally chanted the same song lyric line on a 3 hour plane ride because otherwise we were all going to die. I took one for the whole team.

It can be somatic things like counting your heart beats, focusing on your breathing, swallowing, staring and not blinking for so many seconds.

It can be readjusting clothing until the seams fit. It can be checking god yes checking IK its a common trope but it IS a compulsion that has ruined my life and can be as passive as checking my reality or texting for proof my cat is still alive. It can also be checking yourself for assurance you wouldnt do the intrusive thought or that the intrusive thought isnt going to happen.

Compulsions are mentally painful and sometimes physically painful;

● Washing your hands with scalding water for 5+ minutes can lead to horribly dry and cracking skin to down right BURNS.

● If you do the same movement you can mess up joints and ligaments. So if you pray constantly you may have knee issues from standing and kneeling.

● If your compulsion has you doing movement against an object ie say gripping and regripping something you get callouses.

● If you compulsively exercise you may get trapped doing something above a healthy amount or say going from not working out to running a five minute mile and wiping out on a treadmill because your brain demanded it. Totally didnt do that...

● If your compulsions make you rub against any object you can get friction burns and scars.

To put this in perspective 15 years of compulsions have left my hands and finger joints a complete mess, damaged my arm tendons, friction scars on my arms that only now faded, and scars on my legs from doing too much of an activity.

Its not lmao I gotta fix these pencils its real agony and real torture.

In short compulsions and rituals are not fun they are absolutely not logical, and we know they are not logical but we are forced to do them. Thats why its a disorder.

OCD disrupts relationships with social components such as ;

Obsessively checking in with partner/friend if things are ‘okay’ (this feels horrible to do too fyi like you KNOW things are fine but you cant NOT because the anxiety is SO BAD),

Relationship OCD is a WHOLE category itself! this ties into sexuality OCD where your obsessive thoughts prey on your sexuality (regardless of your orientation), your relationship, cheating or being disloyal etc.

OCD causes significant withdrawal from others, fears of being a monster, intense guilt over intrusive thoughts, disgust with yourself over the intrusive thoughts sometimes leading to self punishment.

OCD leads to strange behavior which more often than not leads to bullying and ostracization. To exemplify this I have an intrusive thought that I have stolen something when I am inside stores, my check-check-check-check-check-recheck! of my pockets gets me store security called so often its criminal.

OCD limits activities that may expose them to triggers or influenced by intrusive thoughts ie: not being able to take the train to work or only getting off at bus stops with even numbers.

OCD impacts where they spend time, who they associate with, what jobs they take or even if they have a family or not

OCD leads to overwhelming feelings of guilt, shame, and fear over having intrusive thoughts or images that they experience which causes them to socially isolate or have difficulty in social situations.

OCD leads to Hyperfixation: like a lot of other things but thankfully it is just hyperfixation and not different from other diagnoses.

OCD leads to rigidity or structured routines: I have listened to the same CD in my car for 5 years now. Every single day. 5 Years.And Im not okay with that.

OCD impacts standards we hold ourselves to and others: its like regular perfectionism but like add on 5 extra layers of anxiety!

OCD according to NIMH statistics

1.2% Occurrence among US adults

2.3% Lifetime Prevalence among US adults

34.8% Of Adults who have OCD suffer moderate impairment to daily functioning 50.6% of Adults who have OCD suffer serious impairment to daily functioning

OCD has strong co-morbidity with the following:

Tourettes Syndrome- is a genetic friend of OCD and if you have tourettes or OCD your chances of having someone else in the family is high

ADHD

Autism

GAD

Eating Disorders

Depression - this is a big one along with low self esteem because of the intrusive thoughts

Writers like to make jokes about characters “being OCD” well now they have clinical OCD and you should consider fleshing out your character with this information just as you would any other disorder.

Batman (DC)

Riddler (?)(DC)

Domino (Marvel)

Cyclops (Marvel)

#this took a lot of emotional energy and i am now terrified

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scarlettroubles · 4 years ago

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4, 6, and 23 for Eileen? for the interview asks

4. What is your least favorite childhood memory?

“Least favorite? Hard to say, seeing as how much of a shit show my childhood was. Wasn’t always that way though… Elaina’s death.. Eliza getting bit...Jacob’s disappearance… They all contributed to my parent’s grief which caused them to- Neglect me and my siblings… But if I am to choose.. I’d say the day my father dragged me in his office and told me I had to watch over my siblings and mother from then on.”

Eileen takes a pause. Struggling to put the memory into words before taking a shaky sigh and continuing.

“He told me because I had Ryder and Graves blood in me, I had to be strong. For them and myself. I remember the way he pulled me to his chest, with tears in his eyes and his voice dripping with despair that he was.. Sorry. That he was sorry he couldn’t be strong enough for either of us. The Ministry.. They grew suspicious of where his loyalties lied after the Daily Prophet published that horrid story on my brother’s disappearance and involvement with the Cursed Vaults you see. They even went as far as accusing Jacob to be working for You-Know-Who… I still can’t believe The Ministry believed such a foolish article. But I can’t fully blame them for it. Everybody was hurting and paranoid after the war. My family’s background as hunters didn’t help matters. In fact, it just further cemented those claims. My father was forced to work tirelessly for The Ministry if he wanted to not be thrown into Azkaban and have the Ryder name further sullied. And all because the Ministry was just scared. I consider that memory my worst because that was what finally made things...real. Elaina was dead. Jacob had really left us and my family...My family had truly been broken apart and I..I was left to pick up the pieces.”

6. What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do?

Eileen closes her eyes and appears to think long and hard on an answer for that question.

"I guess that would be learning to depend on people. I was nine when I watched my parents be destroyed by grief. I was determined not to let the same fate befall me and my siblings. So I pushed my own grief aside and worked tirelessly to be someone people could depend on. Because I was determined to never let anyone go through what I had to go through. That resulted in me thinking everything had to be my burden. That everything was my responsibility and no one else's. I regret to say it took another tragedy for me to finally understand that my actions were doing no one any favors. I- I’ll live with that regret for the rest of my life.”

23. Have you ever had a crush on someone? Do you have a crush now?

“T-thats a rather personal question to be asking someone! Do I really have to answer? Ugh, fine.”

“I- Well of course I’ve had a crush on someone! M-multiple people actually.. It’s fairly normal to find someone attractive after all… As of now, yes I do have a crush on someone and no, I do not plan on acting on the silly crush anywhere near the future. I’d rather focus on finding my brother and keeping my friends safe from the Cursed Vaults. And besides.. I don’t even know if I’ve got a shot with him.. He’s a very charismatic man. An insufferable one but.. Charming. Doesn’t help that he’s such a dork when it comes to history and- and there are times where I find him looking at me with this look on his face that makes my heart beat faster everytime without fail and makes me foolishly think I have a chance with him.”

“But for all his charm, he gets so damn annoying on the pitch! He loves to make a fool out of me up there in the sky with those infuriatingly clever strategies of his. Whenever I’m up against him in a quidditch match my blood is on fire and I get so desperate to just win and rub it in Scarborough’s devilishly handsome face that I can’t help but want to grab and-!

Eileen pauses and looks at the interviewer. Face a hot shade of red with embarrassment before quickly grabbing for her wand and casting obliviate before they could even defend themselves.

The interviewer is overcome with a sense of confusion before their eyes settle on Eileen sitting rather nervously on the wooden stool in front of them.

“So.. What’s the next question?”

(Will Scarborough belongs to @cursebreakerfarrier)

In the AU she ends up with Merula:

“T-thats a rather personal question to be asking someone! Do I really have to answer? Ugh, fine.”

“Me and her.. We didn’t exactly start off on the right foot but over the years, we’ve reached a kind of understanding with each other you know? I even asked her out to various school dances and festivities. But, outside of them she still acts like we're rivals and I’m someone she needs to crush every chance she gets. It’s fun, this little rivalry of ours but I can’t help but want more. She’s feisty, talented and oh so prideful. As alluring and dangerous as a siren that Snyde-’

Eileen pauses and looks at the interviewer. Face a hot shade of red with embarrassment before quickly grabbing for her wand and casting obliviate before they could even defend themselves.

The interviewer is overcome with a sense of confusion before their eyes settle on Eileen sitting rather nervously on the wooden stool in front of them.

“So.. What’s the next question?”

questions you can ask are here

#eileen ryder #hphm #ask #ask game #harry potter hogwarts mystery #hogwarts mystery #hphm mc #interview ask game #my art #hufflepuff #the asks are still open so feel free to send more if u want!!

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funkymbtifiction · 3 years ago

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hey, me again (the person you typed as SFP). Thanks for your respond. First of all; you are certainly right about me using fi-te, thats actually i am quiet sure about by now (even though i had some trouble seeing myself as a feeler at first because it is usually described that feelers are in general more empathic and i can assure you no person i know would ever use the word "empathic" to describe me)...

You sound like an NP in what you wrote here, yes.

Fi's appear stoic on the outside, but are a swarm of specific emotions on the inside. They are self-referencing; if something doesn't ignite an emotional response in them, they don't care and aren't particularly sympathetic from "the outside," hence why people call them "cold." But they are very easily insulted, if they're INFPs. Much more so than an ENFP, who will consider it through Ne/Te more often than Fi.

#question

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apenapaperandadoofus · 4 years ago

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(not angst here, sorry) So, Jumin said he had a imaginary friend at 7 (this maybe this is a joke), but what if it was real? What if it was at the island he was sent alone at 6? And what if it wasn't imaginary? But a kid that it wasn't supposed to be there (because their mother worked there) and what if it was a girl? And Jumin meets her again there??

AH ANON THATS ADORABLE AND I LOVE IT

Also might make it a series?? Oooo thank you for the idea nonny!

And I added some music too. I dunno why but you can listen to it while you read it tho!

Imaginary Friend: (Jumin x Fem!MC) Part 1

Song:

You looked at the huge mansion in front of you. You had never seen a house as big as this one, and you always wondered if the people there sometimes got lost on the way to the bathroom, or the kitchen.

You imagined the way the house must’ve looked. Did it have a library? It probably did, with so many books that you might never be able to finish, no matter if you spent your whole life there. Was there a pool? Maybe a garden? You wondered what it looked like. You had seen that in some rich people’s homes the gardens all had funny bushes in shape of animals, or people. You thought it was kind of dumb, really, to have a bush shaped as an elephant, but you also really wanted to see one for some reason. It was silly, really. You wondered what it must be like, living in that huge house. Was the person living there lonely? Did they like it, or where they sad about it?

Walking in those cold halls at night, no one around to say goodnight, to tuck you away or give you a goodnight kiss.

It felt...sad.

As you wondered what the person living there must be like, you suddenly felt a cold hand tightly grab your arm, and you quickly looked to the side.

Your mother glared at you through her glasses, a stern look on her face. “Did you hear what I said, Y/N?”

You didn’t. But you didn’t really want to tell her that, you didn’t know what she might do. But you gulped and slowly nodded, admitting your crime. I mean the punishment might be worse if she did find out you had been lying.

Your mother let out an exasperated sigh and rubbed her temples in annoyance. She always did that, was always annoyed with everything and everyone. She wasn’t always like that though, you had vague memories of her smiling and dancing with you in your huge living room. That was before...well before everything went to shit.

Michelle was a tutor. She had been a teacher on one of the best private schools before though.. She was a strict woman, with very little patience, and she shed no mercy for her students. It was the same for her daughter. Your mother had become like that when your father, the CEO of a very prestigious company left her for his receptionist, a man named Kyle. You never got why your mother hated him so much, since you remember that whenever you went to visit your father, Kyle would be ready for you with a huge bag of candy, and hey, who would hate someone who always gave you such delicacies?

Still, your mother obviously didn’t care for the candy, and she was filled with an immense rage. That was when she began to change. First she threw every possession of your father in the trash and burned it. Then she promised that she would never marry again, after many failed attempts to get another partner. Your mother became colder after you had to sell your house, and move to South Korea, Seoul with the little money you had left.

There she managed to find plenty of jobs that paid well, money seemed to be the only thing that satisfied her. And so, when she got the chance to teach the son of a billionare owner of one of the most famous companies in Seoul, your mother couldn’t refuse. She was the perfect candidate, she was a smart woman who had many achievements after all. Thus, a week later after that strange phone call she didn’t hestitate when she pulled you out of your school, packed your bags and flew you to an island that you had never heard of before. She of course had to bring you, I mean what else could she have done? She made it abundantly clear though that you were a weight on her shoulders that she hated carrying.

“Y/N!!” Your mother shouted again, and you nervously looked at her. She pushed you away from the huge mansion, instantly pulling you away from your daydreaming of whoever might be living there. “Listen darling, I’ve explained this to you on the plane, but I’ll do it again, since I’m sure it went through one ear and out of the other. You need to follow my every order in here alright? This is a very important opportunity for mommy, and you can’t screw this up.” She glared at you when she said that and you guiltily looked at the ground. She was always afraid you were going to somehow screw up even at the simplest of things. “I will be teaching a boy here. His father hired me to tutor him for a whole year, but we might get more if we’re lucky. When I’m away I’m going to need you to stay in your new room to keep busy, I don’t want you to move from there, alright?”

Hearinf that you excitedly turned around and gave your mother a big smile. “Mum, will we be living in that mansion?! And is there really a boy?! Can I meet him?”

“Absolutely not. We won’t be living there, and you won’t even set a foot on that place. We’ll be living on a place nearby. Look here we are.” Your mother pointed behind you while she said it.

You turned to look and felt your stomach drop as you looked at your new...home.

Having stared at the magnificent mansion and your hopes just going through the roof, what you felt as you looked at the sad little house in front of you was greater than disappointment.

It was awful. You wrinkled your nose as your mother pushed you to keep up with her, as she took out a set of keys and opened the ugly little door.

The home was...actually pretty nice. But not as nice as a mansion. The walls were a very dull white, and the first thing you saw was a boring living room, the a brown leather couch in the middle, with a TV hanging on the wall. Someone had put some paintings to hang on the walls, as if to try and make the place look livelier, but they had clearly failed. You saw that on the two walls of the living room were four sets of doors, two o each wall. While your mother went out to talk to the men behind you carrying your luggage, you decided to go and explore. First you went to the last door on the right, behind the couch, and you opened it to find a big room.

It was the master bedroom, that was probably were your mother was staying. The room was actually quite spacious, with a big king bed in the center of the wall, and a wooden desk on the side. On the corner of the room there was another door, which led to a bathroom that contained a bath tub and, well, the things that bathrooms have. It was nothing special but it did look pretty, like those fancy hotel bathrooms you had seen before on trips with your mom and dad.

You quickly left the room and opened the door beside it. It led to the kitchen. Why did the kitchen have a door? Who the hell knows, you are a 7 year old kid, not an architect, so you couldn’t really answer the question. Still the kitchen wasn’t that bad. It was still the same dull white, like the whole house, but it was pretty. Off to the side was a little room that had a washing machine, and a dryer. Boring.

You left and went to the other side of the living room. Your mother was now standing in the main doorway, screaming at the poor moving staff guys. You felt bad for them, since you knew that your mother would never stop once she started nagging at you, and you decided to quickly run away to avoid her anger. When you opened the door you saw a room. It was still big, but smaller than your mothers. It had a huge window, with sliding doors that led to the backyard...or what you assumed was a backyard, since it was mostly forest. The island was pretty green and had a lot of trees, which you thought would be fun climbing.

As you looked at your new room, you thought of all the changes you had to make. First of all, you’re painting all the damn walls because those things are ugly. You’re also going to place those neon star stickers that shine in the dark, your father gave them to you for one of your birthdays, a whole pack, and you had a few you could use on the roof. You mentally planned where to put all your stuffed animals, and your books, although you didn’t have many and they were all boring.

Your mother didn’t like you reading fantasy books, and while you enjoyed a bit reading about the life of Thomas Eddison, or just something about math or biology, you actually didn’t understand jack shit and wanted to read some nice fantasy books. Your father had given you some before but your mother burned them when the whole Kyle scandal happened. Yeah it sucked.

Once again you walked out of your room and opened the last door, which was obviously a bathroom. Then you quickly went inside to your room once again as your mother finished nagging the moving staff. You weren’t dealing with that shit. So you just decided to go and jump on your bed. It was super comfy and you could jump pretty high though you stopped once your mother opened your door and shouted at you to get your ass down from there, dragging a bunch of your boxes into your room and telling you to start unpacking.

That was the most boring evening of your life. You wanted to explore! To see if there was anyone in that mansion! And you also wanted to try and find that boy your mother was talking about. But you couldn’t do any of that, since the next day you had to help unpack more boxes. And then more. And more. Why were there so many boxes?!

Still, finally that hell was over. For you at least. You had your room all in order, your toys off in one side, some books piled on your desk, and the stars on the walls (you weren’t able to reach the ceiling and your mother was in a horrible mood, so you couldn’t really ask her -unless you wanted to die of course.-)

You sat on the couch while your mother unboxed loads of teaching materials, books and everything else. You both stayed quiet until you looked out the window and then back at your mother.

“Mum, I want to visit the boy you’re going to teach. Can you teach us together?” You asked. Your mother didn’t look at you as she replied. “Don’t be silly, of course not. And this boy is learning more advanced things, I’m not sure you’ll be able to catch up.”

You crossed your arms and angrily glared at the floor. Then you looked back up at your mom. “Can I at least go say hi?”

Your mother rolled her eyes, and replied once again without looking at you. “He’s not here yet. He’s coming in two days. And you aren’t permitted to go outside of the house, you’ll be staying here the whole time. I’ll leave some work for you to do so you can keep busy.”

“But-”

“Enough. Now why don’t you go to your room and play a bit? You’re giving mommy a headache.”

You went to your room, sulking of course, as you made up snarky comments you could’ve used on your mum in your mind. Of course you were never going to say them, but it was a nice way to let off some steam. And so, that night you went to bed, still angrily cursing your mother.

Your mom didn’t let you leave your home for a whole week. You didn’t realize that much time had gone by, but when you checked your little calendar hanging on your door, you realized; the boy your mother is teaching must be here already!!! She had started leaving the house everyday, but you never paid that much attention to it. So that day, at 12pm in the afternoon, you finally decided that you were going to explore the place (and find out where the boy your mother talked about lived! -You were suspecting it was the huge mansion you saw back there-)

You put on your coat and your favorite sneakers, quickly left your room, and then popped your head out of the doorway to check that no one was around. Your mother always came home at about 4-5pm, so you had plenty of time. You also had a pretty watch that you had gotten when you turned 6, and you decided to finally use it for what it was meant for (and to not use it just as an accessory because it looked cool.)

When you made sure the coast was clear, you walked down the little path leading to who knows where. But you couldn’t help but walk with a little bounce on your step, excited at what might turn out to be at the end of the path. After walking for a while, looking at insects and picking up pretty flowers you saw on the way a sign. Then farther along there was another house. And then you walked more and there was another one. And then another one. The deeper you went, the more houses appeared and soon you found yourself in a little town of some sorts!

There were more people than you expected, and as you walked you saw that on what appeared to be on the center of the town, there was this huge market!

People there were selling all kinds of fruit, food and dishes, some you didn’t recognize, and some other people were selling flowers, jewelry and clothes. You slowly walked looking at every single thing that the people were selling. The food smelled absolutely delicious, and you loved the patterns of all the clothes.

Then you suddenly bumped into someone.

It was a lady, who appeared to be in her late thirties. You didn’t know this cuz you were a child of course, and kids can’t really guess an adults age. Still, she turned around and was about to shout something at you, when she stopped and then looked down, finally seeing you.

You gave her an apologetic smile, and the woman looked confused for a second before she knelt in front of you and stared at you.

“What are you doing here?” She asked. She sounded a bit mad, but there was a hint of concern there. You gave her the biggest and sweetest smile you could manage, and answered, “I’m exploring of course! I followed the path and I suddenly came here!”

“Is your...guardian anywhere around here? Or did you come alone?” She looked around for someone, anyone who was maybe looking for a lost child. But there was no one.

“Oh you mean mum? She’s somewhere around here. You see, she’s teaching a boy, that lives in that huge mansion!” You pointed where you supposed the mansion was, and the woman raised an eyebrow.

“In the mansion? I don’t think anyone lives there. So is she a teacher? Maybe she could be around here...I’ll help you look for her.”

“No!” You quickly shouted, but then you became still and tried to compose yourself. “Uhm, my mommy...she doesn’t really know I’m here. But you have to promise not to tell! If she finds out she’s going to kill me!”

That didn’t seem to help. But before the woman could answer a hand placed itself on her shoulder, and you looked up at the new person.

It was another lady, and although she seemed to be the same age as the other woman, she appeared younger in a way, more kind and soft.

“Bada, who is this little lady we have here? Don’t tell me you’re going to kidnap her and lock her in with all those other children you’re meaning to cook.”

The woman named Bada glared at the other one, and you immediately felt a chill run down your spine.

Fuck that shit you’re leaving. You quickly turned around but the other lady quickly grabbed you and laughed, a nice bubbly laugh. Your fear of being eaten was even forgotten for a second because the laugh was so contagious.

“I kid, I kid. Bada wouldn’t hurt a fly.”

“I could you know-”

“And who might you be? Are you lost?” She said, ignoring the other lady.

You quickly shook your head and explained that you were exploring. At that the woman laughed and Bada once again glared at her.

“It’s nothing to laugh about! Her mother must be worried sick. You can’t just run off like that, you know?” She said.

“Ah Bada! Let her have fun, you were once her age too, and you were more adventurous than her....don’t look at me like that, you know it’s true. Let the kid explore for a bit, it’s nothing harmful.” Then she turned to you. “And what might your name be little explorer?”

You smiled. “It’s Y/N! Nice to meet you!”

She smiled back. “Nice to meet you too Y/N, I’m Eun Jung, you can just call me Eun if you want!”

You had always been warned by your mother about ‘stranger danger’ and that you should of course, never talk with someone you don’t know. But these women seemed different. They gave off an aura that...that seemed to tell you they wouldn’t do anything to you.

As you explained to Eun about the bugs and flowers you had seen along the way, you were interrupted by your stomach growling.

Eun laughed and asked if you wanted to come and eat, and well, FOOD, who would deny?

Bada and Eun lived together in a small little house, decorated with all sort of stuff, paintings and flowers. It looked way better than your dull new home. Bada cooked while Eun made you some tea, and you explained why you were living in the island.

“My mum is teaching the boy that lives in that big mansion!” You told her.

Eun laughed and looked at you quizzically. “Are you sure? Last time I checked, no one has lived there for more than 40 years. Maybe your mother is teaching somewhere else.”

“Mmm...but the mansion didn’t look that old! Are you sure there’s no one living there?”

“Of course there isn’t.” Bada chipped in, as she walked in from the kitchen into the living room. Your mouth watered as she placed the food on the little round table in front of you, and you almost immediately forgot about what you were talking about. Bada had made some Kimchi, a food you hadn’t really tried before. You had moved from the UK barely a year ago, and your mother and you never went out to eat, so you never really tried any of the Korean dishes.

You took a bite and let out a satisfied sigh. Then you looked up at Bada and remembered what you were talking about. “Whaddya mwean of cwourse there isn’t? Mhm, there has to be someone right?” You finished saying, while Bada glared at you, probably for speaking while eating.

“If you keep doing that a whale will come out of your mouth.” Eun said. You looked at her in surprise and then shut your mouth. You didn’t know if it was true but you didn’t want to risk it.

“Well, if there was anyone living there, I’d say it was a ghost. That’s the only explanation. And it makes sense, since people say the house is haunted.” Bada finished saying, and Eun rolled her eyes, a smile on her face.

“There are no such things as ghost. Don’t mind her, she’s just so obsessed with that stuff. You have to see the amount of books she has about the matter.”

“You never know, they might be real, and if they are, I’ll at least be prepared.” She glared back and Eun smiled more. She seemed to really like to tease Bada, and you thought it was hilarious. But you had to push that aside to ask for the most important things.

1st, There’s ghosts in the mansion?

And 2nd, Bada has books about ghosts? That’s still way better than the stupid math books your mother is making you read.

Bada replied that yes, there are 100% ghosts in there, and that she had plenty of books about the matter. When you asked if you could borrow one it took a bit of convincing, mostly from Eun to get her to agree.

You left their home at 3pm, your tummy full and a bunch of books in your arms (there were some other fantasy ones Eun had given you), with both ladies telling you to come again.

You happily made your way back to your home, skipping all the way, and you stopped when you passed by the mansion. Even though it was early afternoon, the place seemed dark and gloomy. You shuddered as you looked at it.

You were about to leave, when you saw something...or rather someone by the window...

You immediately turned around and ran to your home. Nope. Not dealing with that today. You had eaten too much and you were tired, the ghosts will have to wait until tomorrow.

You locked the front door and went to your bedroom, grabbing your biggest plushie (a big lion your father bought you when you were 3) and hid under the covers until you heard the front door open.

You hid the books and walked out, to greet your mother, but she held a hand up before you could speak and set her belongings on the couch. “Not now Y/N. Mommy’s tired. Did you eat the food in the fridge?”

You nodded.

“Did you eat it all?”

You shook your head.

“Then mommy’s going to bed and you can eat what’s left ok? Don’t come and bother me, I’m too tired.”

And with that, she left the living room and went to her room, locking the door behind her.

You stood in silence for a bit before going to the kitchen and eating what was left from what your mother had made you.

Honestly you hadn’t eaten anything, since you had dinner and Bada’s and your mother was a terrible cook, but now you were hungry again and it was what was left, so you couldn’t do anything about it.

That night you ate in your room and stared out at the window. And then you realized...if you went out into the little porch your room had, and you looked a bit to the side, you could see a part of the mansion. You couldn’t really see clearly since all the lights were off, but that wasn’t stopping you from snooping.

Were there really ghosts there? Were they nice, or were they like the ones in those horror movies your friends talked about?

The book that Bada gave you didn’t seem to help though, since your fear only became bigger and bigger the more you read. It said that ghosts could possess people, make them do things they didn’t want to. Also if the ghost was there because it couldn’t move on, be it for anger or revenge, it might kill you.

That didn’t sound good at all. You shuddered as you closed the book and turned off your torch, finally getting ready for bed.

But then you saw it again. A figure on the window.

You stood staring at it, you don’t know for how long, but then it disappeared and you quickly ran off into your bedroom, locking the door and quickly bidding under your covers, turning the torch on again.

You didn’t know what the ghost wanted. You didn’t know if it was nice or not. You were honestly really scared. But still...a part deep inside of you was filled with curiosity. You wanted to see the ghost. You actually...wanted to meet it.

And so, you made up your mind. Tomorrow, you were going to sneak into the mansion and try to find the ghost. It would be your next adventure.

Your smile in victory as you imagined what would happened once you found the ghost. You would take your camera and take a picture of it, then you’d come and show it to Eun and Bada, and then your mother. You knew if you sold this picture you could probably make thousands, millions of dollars. People paid really well for ghost pictures. Hell, they might even make a movie of you experience! You could become famous, and your mother would be finally satisfied, having enough money to keep her happy.

You went to sleep with those sweet fantasies in the back of your mind.

Tomorrow, no matter what, you were going to capture that ghost.

#mystic messenger #jumin han #jumin fluff #mysme #saeran choi #yoosung kim #jaehee kang #jihyun mysme #choi bois #jumin x reader #childhood friends to lovers

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littlebabycrybtch · 4 years ago

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anyways, autistic adult here going out to all the autism parents out there;;; stop fucking bragging about abusing your autistic kids. i lived through my autistic childhood, you havent, you need to hear me out. stop posting your horrible ‘inspirational stories’ about how happy you are that you ‘pushed through’ and did something awful and distressing to your child in an effort to make them normal. it is so harmful and so disgusting for autistic people to have to hear about. those stories make me wanna gag. they give me physical discomfort, the way these people are so... Proud of themselves, for thinking they are ‘eradicating’ these evil autism symptoms, like the symptoms arent just an inherent fucking PART of their child they destroyed out of blind ignorant ‘care’. fucking listen to yourself. you did not help them. i dont care that they learned some new (usually unnecessary and performative) neurotypical skill you had been pushing on them for years. i dont care how fuzzy inside that makes you feel. i dont care about whatever you come up with that proves their ‘progress’. no. you were projecting your frustrations. you were pressuring them into smth they didnt need. you didnt Fucking help them. you made them Conform. you Hurt them to make them act like everyone else, bc you let yourself become that convinced that their autism is whats damaging them, and not the outside world that tries to dismantle what they are on the daily, for no fucking REASON besides irrationally projecting your own standards and ideals onto them. the ‘cure’ for autism is not ‘acting normal’, for gods sake. you Punished them for being autistic instead of accepting it and accommodating them. frankly, no matter your real intention, its selfish.

like. im sorry but im livid, i am TIRED of seeing this kind of shit encouraged everywhere. forcing your kid into meltdowns unless it is a 110% safety concern, is abuse and disability discrimination, especially when you are trying to force them to be ‘normal’ by punishing them in these awful prejudiced ways until they meet YOUR idealized standards of functioning and ‘quality of life’, which is self centered for gods sake! like! nah man actually im totally fine with some of my symptoms if you people would just leave me the fuck alone about it??? i like stimming, i like special interests, my ‘sensory issues’ can become blissful when i find the right sensory experience, my struggle to communicate has given me so many beautiful Alternatives and connected me with so many people. im fucking fine, i dont always need to bend to you, you can bend to me sometimes, okay? like. smh, neurotypicals/abled people, society revolves around you, sure, but that doesnt mean someone being Different from you makes them the wrong or unhealthy one... they can be Perfectly happy even though they dont live the way you do, and to think otherwise is again, just really self centered. why are you the default? why is YOUR HAPPINESS with YOUR LIFE the default standard??? someone being different from you doesnt always mean their existence automatically Pains them, or that its Lesser or Worse. accommodation and understanding does a hell of a lot better for somebody than trying to just force them to act how you do under the ignorant assumption that it Must be inherently better for them and their existence. “but- things would be easier for them if they were normal right! thats just how the world is!” cool. but they arent. listen to me. They Arent. just fucking accept that, and focus on fixing the obviously bigger issue, the whole ‘WORLD’ part that rejects everything abnormal, jesus christ. like honestly, thats the worst part about being ‘abnormal’, how the outside world fucking treats you. its how they wont fucking let you exist and wont get off their ass to try and understand or support you, without conditions that include ‘copy me as best as you can so its easier for me’. the worst part is that the people who ‘support’ you view that support as wittling you into something less difficult for them to ‘help’ at the expense of your fucking basic comforts or happiness, and they still think theyre doing you a noble favor by making you like themselves. ffs. guys. stop abusing your kids. stop.

“well guys, my autistic kid wouldnt stop pissing themselves so i just stopped buying diapers and made them sit on the toilet for 6 hours, and guess what, they use the toilet the Right way now! :)” “my kid wouldnt hug me or say i love you, so i held them down on the bed till they stopped fighting my affection! now we hug all the time!” “i took away my childs favorite item until they were able to verbally ask for it back. now they know how to say “please”. they must be SO much happier!” i need for you to listen to me right now. you are not fixing them. you are not HELPING THEM. you are breaking them into your neurotypical life like a pair of fucking tennis shoes. its for you. you are conditioning them, with trauma. the fact that you dont see that is a Disturbing display of how little you actually are trying to understand about your child’s life, or frankly anybody elses experiences besides yours. Leave them the fuck alone. you really wanna help your autistic kid fit into the world? dont punish them for stimming, tell ppl in public to stop fucking staring, bc it is their fucking problem. dont force your type of affection or communication, pay some fuckin attention and you’ll start noticing the ways in which THEY communicate with you, which is just as fine. and for the love of god my dude! buy diapers! they exist for a reason! just buy your fucking child their fucking diapers. ill kick your ass oh my God,

#tw ableism/ / /#actuallyautistic #autism moms #autism parenting #tw unsanitary ment/ // /#tw abuse ment/ //

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sorenskyhigh · 4 years ago

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Pets They Would Have pt. 2

Karasuno

Hisashi Kinoshita

Hisashi is a Train Company Employee. This means he works a lot of hours and just does not have the time to take care of, love and train any other pets

Fish are a really easy to take care of

All you have to do is remember to feed them and have a water filter to constantly clean their aquarium

Some fish, if handled when young, can get big and will let and love for you to pet them

But, they also are just very nice to have

Just to watch them swim around all of the plants with the light on at night

As I said, they don't need alot either

Hisashi could just let them be

They wouldn't beg or need constant love and attention like a mammal (dog, cat, rat, bird)

They also don't need constant vigilance for health issues or specialized diets like amphibian and reptilian pets

Hisashi is going to be tired when he gets home from work, so he needs a pet that is more ornamental than a chore

I feel if Hisashi were to have fish, he'd get the weirdest ones in the pet store

Hisashi seems to have a very strong inner child

So he would want either the flashiest fish, or the ones that cause a double take everytime their passed by in the store

He may get only one or two or get a whole tank full

I honestly feel like it could go one of two ways:

A- He has an aquarium for a wall in his house filled with his wild choice in fish or

B- He has a small, round, spherical bowl with two fish in it

It'd be funny if he had just the two fish to start with then they had babies even though the worker said they were both female

Obviously they weren't

They laid eggs and he had to transfer the female and daughters to one large tank and the father and sons to another so they wouldn't keep having babies

After this he has like 14 fish in total

Then he keeps finding himself at the pet store looking at the "ugly" fish no one wants

He buys these fish and ends up having two tanks that cover a whole wall

One's for his male fish the others for the females

But he screws up and learns the hard way that clownfush can change genders to help make babies

I'm being terrible to this poor guy let me stop

He so would be that fish owner to get real plants and "not those toxic plastic ones, how do they not hurt the fish???"

I honestly love the thought of Kinoshita just spacing out in front of his fish as he just watches them swim and do their own thing

Or if he were to only have a couple fish and he lets them get really big and pets them

Kazuhito Narita

Now, I know what you're thinking

Aren't Ferrets incredibly high maintenance?

Not really

Kazu ends up working at a Realty Firm

Generally their work hours are supposed to be around 40 hrs a week

But they often have to stay longer considering most clients can only meet up on weekday afternoons

So this means Kazu has to work a lot

Ferrets may be mischievous and a little destructive, but that's easy to fix

If a ferret is to be left at home alone for hours at a time, just get it a really big cage and tons of toys to play with

Plenty of food and water too, of course

But ferrets are honestly pretty chill

All they need is for you to clean out their cage around once a week, some light grooming here and there, and some time to run around

Apartment or house doesn't matter with ferrets

They love to just mess around and only need a couple hours of free time a day

They sleep most of the day, 17 to 20 hours usually

They also aren't very vocal

They have a specific noise they make when excited thats barely heard by most human ears

Fun fact about ferrets is they actually have pretty poor eyesight, but their sense of smell and hearing more than make up for it

The only real problems Kazu would have to worry about are hairballs getting lodged and dental issues, no different than a cat

I didn't pick a cat though bc, Kazu seems like the kind of person to have something that doesn't get riled up on a whim like a cat

Cats often have unpredictable moods, ferrets on the other hand can be energetic but won't get into a bad mood at the drop of a pin

They're generally very fun loving

Though, it is always recommended to get a pair

Ferrets are highly social animals, so they would need a buddy for when your not able to be there for them

Kazu would probably get one almost all white ferret and one almost all dark brown ferret for the symbolism

I love the thought of Kazu wrestling with one ferret, it wrapped around his hand, and then the other one if climbing on his back and sliding down the back of his shirt in playful retaliation

Tobio Kageyama

I really really wanted to give Tobio a turtle, but with him being a volleyball player in his adult life, that just won't work

Turtles need very specific temperatures and surroundings so they can live happily and healthily

I honestly feel in terms of personality, nothing but a cute little Eastern Box Turtle would fit him perfectly

I honestly struggled to find something that, to me, fit Kageyama Tobio but also would be manageable for him as a pro athlete

He's a very complex character and something with fur or feather just did not seem to suit him to me

The only problem is.......reptiles and amphibians are generally really demanding pets

From the food they eat, the the temperature their home has to be set at, its a lot of constant care

Some of them may not like constant physical touch, but they still need to be cleaned and have a constant watchful eye to check for any skin abnormalities

I decided on the African Fire Skink after much much MUCH consideration

These lizards don't get large, onky around 14-15 inches

And, unlike many reptilian nd amphibian pets, they don't require any specific heating or lighting

As long as your house isn't like consistently hot or cold or constantly changing between the two, their fine

They do need a substantial amount of dirt to dig and hide in

They mostly eat insects and one very rare occasion would appreciate a pinky mouse

These lizards are also shy and like to be admired from a distance

They don't like to be touched too much

They also have few and far between health problems uike other lizards

The only real problem is you can't find them at local pet stores but, they generally sell for around 25-70 USD

They also live for around 15-20 years

I feel like Tobio would have gotten his lizard as a middle schooler bc he didn't have very many friends, but he also didn't want a really needy pet since he doesn't know how to socialize well

Since this lizard like to be left alone, he could admire it from afar and this lizard could help him learn how to social better

Sorta.....

Imagine Tobio at a table in his room, doing some homework and the little Skink is just lazing about in a sunspot next to him 😍

Shoyo Hinata

YES YOU ARE SEEING CORRECTLY

At first for Shoyo I thought, okay maybe a hamster or a Guinea Pig or something like that

Ya know, something small but mighty and also, incredibly cute!

But I took a look at a list of pets that travel well and one of pets that can be left at howm for days with a proper care taker

I nearly shot myself bc I totally forgot that Hermit Crabs can be pets!!!!!

And they suit Shoyo so well!!!

They are small and sturdy

They fight back and pinch when threatened but can be very nice little pets to have

Hermit Crabs also love, sadly, for only around 10 years and can grow up to 6 inches long

Also, three to five shells per crab should be available

I am living for the idea that Hinata bought a bunch of shells for his crabs and painted them with little volleyballs and crows and ornage and black 🥺

These are good bc as long as you have someone reliable to feed them when they need to be while you're gone

Usually, if they're small, they're tiny wittle claws can't grab onto pellet food, so heir is a specific kind of almost dust like food for Hermit Crabs

Also, dark leafy greens like kale and broccoli or fruits like apples, bananas, and grapes are good too

Just choo them up really really tiny

They also need 2-3 inches of soil, silica play sand, and (optional) coconut fibers for them to burrow in when they molt

They also need a place for water to keep their little shells moist

They also need specific temps and maybe even mist their terrarium with water now and again

Something that us important and why Shoyi would need someone to come in and check on them is bc they are every vulnerable when molting

When a Hermit Crab molts they need to be separated from others so they don't get hurt

Like with many smaller pets you also have to thoroughly wash your hands before and after you touch them

Shoyo would fight Tobio when Tobio said his Crabs are boring and go into a long detailed argument about how each Crab has his/her own personality and how interesting they are

Kei Tsukishima

Did you expect this Dino loving nerd to have anything else other than a reptile?

I tried to find one, as you can imagine, that would fit his adult life schedule but also his personality

I really wanted to give him an Iguana or Chameleon butbthey were really demanding with care

Now.....I know

Anole are native to the Southern US and Southern Hispanic countries such as Mexico, Clolombua, and Venezuela

They are around 20cm long and only live a very short 3-5 years

Also if you own many most should be female and only one should be male if you choose to have any males at all

The males get very territorial and will fight one another

Also the males flair our their dewlaps (skin flap under their chin) in defense and when they feel threatened

The dewlaps are usually pink, red, or on the rare occasion blue

Females have these as well but don't flair them out as much

Anoles are very high energy but don't care to be touched too much

These lizards also can't be picked up by their tales as they have evolved to lose their tales and grow them back

Kei would like these as they are so odd

They're not only descendants of Dinosaurs but they can lose their tales and grow them back at will???

I feel like Kei would constant have new ones

His massive tank (you need big ones for these guys, they are very active and will resort to cannibalism if their space is too small) is never empty, always at least three

He has analbum on his phone of all of the Anoles he's owned and maybe even has a picture book with their names on it

Yamaguchi to this day is the o ky one that has had the privilege to see said book

Yamaguchi is also the only person Kei trusts to take care of his precious Anoles

And when one dies he has really small but none the less grand ceremony for a descendant of the mighty race of Dinosaurs

Yamaguchi always helps him set these up

I fell like he would give them really weird names as well

Like twig, stick, sock, glove, kneecap or some weird shit idk

I'll have Yamaguchi, Yachi, Yui, Natsu, and Saeko in the next one

My requests are open and I hope you enjoyed

@popcorntime-doodles @multifandombrainrot @kneecapstealingalien @jiheonity @weareallhumans123 @smallmangi @canadian-crow @just-jellyfish @immiamarais @i-need-coffee-now-pls @shadowsbutdead @ghostexhibit @goshikisimp @anothershadeofpink @mestayanon @all-around-fandoms31 @thatfunnysprout @itsallgonnabokayihope @g00s3 @boreateo @backalley-astrologer @vaniatslover @lil-mellow-bunbun @strawberrymakki @beelziee @taiyahhh @sakusasgerm @cr4z3d-cl0wn @brendanfkelley @mainnews32 @beelshumanworldburger @mehreenackerman @detective-bakugou

#haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu!!#kinoshita hisashi #narita kazuhito #kageyama tobio #hinata shoyo #tsukishima kei

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makknays · 4 years ago

Text

connection: severed

a/n: totally don’t just write about my own life as an outlet this is part 1; i wrote it a while ago and i need to figure out where i want this to go...

word count: 1.7k

genre: angst??? idk???

Jungkook and you had crossed paths before, just over a year ago to be precise. The two of you had matched on a dating app, not looking for anything more than attention and validation from a stranger, but ended up taking a liking to each other. Everything was going smoothly for 6 months but then both of your destructive tendencies got in the way; he stopped communicating what was wrong and you acted with your emotions instead of your brain. You hurt each other and the trust you had had now disappeared. You both had decided that it was best to stop talking to each other for a while to figure out everything you wanted and needed from each other.

In Jungkook’s defence, he had told you he wasn’t ready to be in a relationship with anyone. You had no idea why he did what he did though. Why he treated you like you were his entire world? He said that he still wanted to be friends, but you knew that was just him being polite. You knew your friends were right about him, but you didn’t want to believe it. He took your heart and tore it into pieces, yet his hoodie was still hanging in your closet after all this time. Every so often your mind would wander back to the time when he loved you back, even though he never said he did, it was evident in his actions that he did. He was always available when you were, always ready to buy you food or offer you clothes when you were cold.

He could never see you in the state that you were in when you first tried to get over him; you hadn’t left your apartment weeks, barely making it to lectures and classes. Your friends had come around a few times to make sure that you were alive, but even they stopped checking up on you. You weren’t in the state that you were in because of him, no, you were that way because life had become a mess ever since you met him and everything had come crashing down. You no longer knew what to do and where you were going with life; you had lost yourself when you lost him and now you were left to find that girl again

Now here you were a year later, standing across from him at a college party. It was a Friday night, you’d had a long week and wanted to let steam off, so you agreed to join your friend at some party that was supposedly a big deal. He looked just as good as ever and you quietly took in all his features before quickly turning away when he noticed you. “Bea, he fucking saw me; I need to go somewhere else.” “Oh, c’mon ___, it’s been like a year, just talk to him. It’s not like you still have feelings for him, right?” “That’s not funny.” “He’s coming over now, go!” “Bea!” you shouted, but she had already left you to go talk to someone she’d probably hook up with later, at least someone was gonna get some.

“Hi stranger.” “Uh, hey, what’s up?” you plainly spoke, God, you wanted to get out of this conversation but no matter where you looked you couldn’t find an exit cue. “Already trying to find a way to avoid me?” he chuckled and you couldn’t help but notice the way he still looked down when he did. “No, it’s not that at all! I’m just, uh, wondering where my friends are.” “Sure, you don’t have to lie to me.” “I’m sorry,” you sighed “It’s just, I wasn’t really expecting to see you here, or anywhere really.” “How could you not when we go to the same college?” he laughed, you always loved his laugh, the sound of it could light up the whole world. “I don’t know, I guess, I just. I guess I just didn’t want to.” you shrugged, looking away from him, trying your hardest to avoid any eye contact. “Hey, how about we go outside and have a real conversation? Wouldn’t that be better?” he asked before holding his hand out for you; you stared at it and then at him, before sighing and grabbing it. You followed his lead into the garden and sat in the corner, away from all the noise.

“So…” “So…” “How have you been, ___?” “Uh, good, yeah. You?” “Good.” he nodded, looking away and realising just how awkward the two of you had become. “Remember when things were good between us?” he softly smiled. “Yeah, how could I forget? That was the healthiest thing I’ve had in a while.” “Did you date anyone after?” “No, didn’t really want to. You?” “Eh, kinda, but realised I didn’t want to either.” The two of you sat in silence for a moment afterwards, both thinking about how it all went wrong. “Do you want to try again?” he suddenly asked. “Jungkook, you know I can’t answer that.” “Sorry, it was a stupid question.” “Jungkook, that’s not what I mean. I just think we hurt each other a lot.” “No, it’s okay. I get it.” “How about, uh, you and I hang out sometime? Let’s catch up properly.” “Sure, are you free tomorrow?”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Hey, I hope it wasn’t too hard for you to get here; this is one of my favourite cafes ever.” you smiled when Jungkook approached you. “No, no, it was pretty easy actually. I don’t live too far from here. What’s so amazing about it?” “Let’s go in and I can show you.” Jungkook opened the door to the cafe, signalling for you to walk in before him and followed after you. “This is why.” you smiled, pointing at the display of cakes they had on show, as soon as you entered the cafe. Jungkook took a moment to take in the display and the rest of the cafe’s pink and natural aesthetic; there were plants in every corner and even a cat wandering around, asking for pets from customers. “I can see why this place would be your favourite, it feels very you.” he smiled, looking back at you. “Thank you, let’s order and find a seat.”

“So...how’s college going?” you asked as the two of you sat by the window. “You know, it’s okay. Kinda boring, kinda stressful, at least I’ve got baseball though. You?” “Oh yeah, I forgot you were on the team. Same for me though, you know, stressful.” you chuckled, awkwardly tucking a piece of your hair behind your right ear. “So…” “Yup…” “What are your plans for later?” “Oh, um, just hanging out with Bea, you remember her, right?” “Is she the one you live with that dated that really weird guy on the swim team?” “Yup, that’s her. I’m surprised you don’t remember her as the girl who split wine down your favourite shirt, you know, after we, uh, stopped talking.” “Oh yeah...no hard feelings.” he awkwardly chuckled. The two of you had grown a lot more distant than you had even realised and you were now wondering if being here was even worth it; was there even anything you could fix?

“I missed you, ____.” “Jungkook.” “No, hear me out.” you could feel yourself holding your breath, worried about the sudden confession. Who was he to miss you? Especially after what he put you through. You were over it, but you never received an apology and you were just disappointed that he ever did all the things that he did. “I blamed you for so much and I’m so sorry. I never admitted anything was my fault. I didn’t think it was, but looking back, I can see how my behaviour triggered your reactions. I’m sorry I lied to you, I know, it doesn’t take back anything I did or said, but I want to work on getting you to trust me again. You were my everything, ___. I was just as scared as you were, but I didn’t want to show you and I let us grow apart instead. I hate that I didn’t try to fight for us the way you did; I just gave up. I regret it so much, ___. I miss having you in my life. You are such a radiant light and your personality was so addictive; I couldn’t get enough and I find myself missing the girl that would cheer me on and woke me up to good morning texts and photos of her smiling before class.” “Jungkook.” “It’s a lot, I know.”

“Jungkook. I’m gonna need some time to think about everything you said.” “That’s okay. Hopefully, not a year.” he chuckled, trying to keep things lighthearted. “I was really hurt when you didn’t fight for us. I was hurt when you gave up and allowed your feelings to disappear. I felt like I didn’t know who you were and the person I was talking to didn’t exist. You put me through a lot.” “I’m sorry, that’s all I can say. I want to show you that I’ve changed though.” “Just give me some time to figure stuff out, okay?”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“He said what?” “Bea, chill out.” “I can’t believe him, after everything he put you through he’s basically asking to come back into your life like it didn’t happen?” “Bea has a point. ___, your heart is too big sometimes.” Daisy, the third part of your trio, stated. “Daisy, this wouldn’t even have happened if Bea protected me at the party but she left me to talk to him.” “Bea...” “I’m sorry! I thought he was just gonna ask her to fuck or something, you know, something she can defend!” “It doesn’t matter guys! What’s done is done. Now do I give him a chance? Maybe, as a friend? I don’t want to exactly date him anymore...those feelings are gone.” “Are they really?” Daisy teased, knowingly. “For the most part.” you pouted, dragging out ‘part’. “Okay, I got it! Don’t speak to him!” Bea said, she was being serious. “Bea, you know that won’t happen. Especially with how impulsive ___ is with these things.” “Ugh, you’re right. Okay, just be friendly? Tell him this is purely friendship.” “Yeah, that’s a good start...” Daisy laughed.

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[11.11pm] you: hey, ive had a chance to think about what you said

[11.14pm] jungkook: oh?

[11.15pm] you: i think it’s best for both of us if we’re just friends for now, but id like to rebuild that trust we had :)

[11.17pm] jungkook: well, thats better than not having you around :)

[11.19pm] you: are you gonna come to jimins party this saturday ?

[11.20pm] jungkook: would hate to miss it

#jungkook #BTS jungkook #jungkook scenarios #jungkook fanfic #Jungkook Fanfiction #bts #bts scenarios #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #bangtan #bangtan scenarios #bangtan fanfic #bangtan fanfiction

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lunatic-fandom-space · 3 years ago

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Comparing RWBY and YGO DM: The Handling and Evolution of Themes

Hey! Its been a hot minute since I last posted anything RWBY-related but Im laying in my bed right now and Im sick and bored so I guess we're doing this. Today I will do my best to analyze what I percieve to be the main themes and messages of both of these shows, or more specifically, how theyre handled narratively. Im mostly focusing on that part because, while these series do have similar themes and messaging, they are still a few things in which they are wildly different. And with that, lets start with this essay-post-thing!

1. Theres something we need to adress first

Okay so, before we can really talk about this, theres something I feel the need to clarify here: Neither of these stories was "planned from the beginning".

Now, I dont think a story being planned from the beginning or not nesscessarily makes the story any better or worse by default, however, it is still important to acknowledge because the way the story is planned is going to affect every facet of it. Things are not going to be foreshadowed properly, things are gonna be set up only for nothing to come of it, the story might drastically change directions, characters might act differently, etc, etc.

And, this is bit off-topic but, it's much better to just admit that the story was not planned than trying to pretend that it was. Like, there are a lot of reasons why I tend to be so forgiving towards YGO even though its not very good, but one of them is definitely the fact that, as far as Im aware atleast, the guy who wrote it isnt pretending to have had this big master plan all along and neither is the fandom. With RWBY on the other hand... yeaaaah, its kinda the opposite. From what Ive seen of RWBYs fandom, there seems to be this pretty popular narrative that everything was planned even though it clearly wasnt. Thats pretty bad and honestly lowers my opinion of the writers so much more than if they would just admit to not having a proper plan.

Like, I initially consumed YGO like this: Yu-Gi-Oh Duel Monsters, Yu-Gi-Oh (aka Season 0), like, a quarter of the Yu-Gi-Oh manga (I still havent finished it)

In all three of these we have the character of Yami Yuugi, or just Yami. Broadly speaking, he is an ancient egyptian gamer spirit who lives in a magical puzzle that has not been solved for 3000 years until this highschooler named Yuugi Mutou comes along and solves it, thus setting him free and allowing him to possess Yuugi and have access to the vague magical powers of the puzzle.

In Duel Monsters he's perfectly fine most of time, morally speaking. There is an instance of him almost murdering a guy and its a bit unclear what exactly happens to those he mindcrushes but overall he's very much a pretty good guy. In Season 0 most of what he does is set up these games for bad people, where they will go insane no matter what they do. From how I understand this whole Shadow Game, Penalty Game stuff, if you lose a Shadow Game, you get violent and intense hallucinations and you will always cuz yknow, gamer spirit. But if you try to cheat, which most of the bad people do in this show, you get violent and intense hallucinations as a punishment.

Since the two anime are generally considered two different continuities, its perfectly fine that Yamis characterization is wildly different in both of them. But in the manga both of these characterizations appear, basically one after the other with no real arc or consequences, for that matter. Why is that? Simply put, someone thought it was a good idea to try to turn an episodic, very slice of life-y light-horror manga into a more traditional, more plot-driven battle shounen. From what Ive heard, it was apparently largely because of network interference or something, but the point is, it changed directions incredibly drastically with little planning and everyone knows this and I can understand that for the most part.

In RWBY we have the character of Blake Belladonna, who, in the first 3 volumes/seasons atleast, was this aloof, more toned down loner-type character with a pretty strong sense of justice. She's an in-universe marginilized racial minority and she clearly cares about racial injustice. The way its initially framed makes it seem like she had a very hard life and no stable support system, which is what eventually pushed her to join a Civil Rights group/Terrorist organization (good god, the Faunus subplot is so awful, I could write a whole essay about it but Im already de-railing rn so I'll just save that for later).

Then, in volumes 4-5 it turns out her father is actually like, the mayor or chief of this island-place called Menagerie and she grew up in this big mansion with multiple guards/servants. Oh and also, apparently "space is a commodity" on there, so theres that. She still retains large parts of her personality but she's kinda like, worse somehow I think. I cant really describe it in a meaningful way but I hope you get what Im saying anyway. Then in Volume 6 she confronted her emotional abuser Adam (sorry for not mentioning him sooner but yeah, he was like, her abusive boyfriend, which is something that a lot of people disagree with but I wont really say anything about it either way because I dont really feel any specific way) with her friend, Yang, and ended up killing him.

After all that, she pretty much lost the rest of her personality, as well as her arc about all the Faunus stuff. She just kinda became the meek, generically nice, recovering abuse victim. Why? Well, the actual reason is that they didnt plan out shit and are just kinda flying by the seat of their oversized clown-pants and if they and the fandom just admitted it, I would have less of an issue. I still wouldnt be as forgiving towards RWBY as I am towards YGO because the crux of the issue, for me, is just that I dont particulary like RWBY but also like. Do you really expect me to take MKEK seriously as writers after admitting to not have a timeline because iT wOuLd CaUsE pLoThOlEs?

However, since they want us to believe that everything was planned out from the beginning, the explaination would be.... Idk, they deliberately butchered one of their main characters?? Because.. they hate her?? Maybe????

So yeah, that was quite a detour however, I would like you to keep this mind going forward.

2. Themes of the Early Series'

First, what do mean by 'Early Series' for both of these shows respectively? Well, for YGO that would have to be Season 0 or if youre reading the manga, everything pre-Duelist Kingdom. Basically, the part of the series thats a episodic, very slice of life-y light-horror series.

For RWBY that would be the first three Volumes, also known as the Poser-Era. Back then it was just kinda an action series that took place at Anime Warrior Academy (also known as Beacon) with some pretty bare minimum worldbuilding, character-driven plots and developments but now its more of an epic high-fantasy story with more of an emphasis on plot as opposed to just action.

The themes and messages in Early YGO are kinda vague, very confusing to me and if you were to follow any of it literally that would be pretty bad. For now Im just gonna say the main themes are Friendship and Identity and mostly focus on the Identity aspect.

Now, it took me a little while to figure out RWBYs deal but I think the main themes for Volumes 1-3 are also Friendship and Heroism. Once again, I'll mostly focus on Heroism and touch on Friendship more briefly later.

I dont have much more to add to YGOs themes right now, so I'll briefly go over Heroism in RWBY.

In RWBYs setting there are these man-eating monsters called Grimm that have basically infected the planet. In order to deal with that, they have people called huntsmen and huntresses that kill them and protect people. Theyre trained at special academies like Beacon and go on missions there and stuff like that. Our four main characters, Ruby, Weiss, Blake and Yang, are training to become huntresses and one day they go on this mission to clean up a grimm infested city block with one of their teachers. Obviously, that takes a long time so they have to camp out in one of the empty houses. Weiss, Blake and Yang cant sleep because theyve been thinking about this question that their teacher asked them when they were fighting grimm: "Why do you want to become a huntress?"

They have a heart to heart and we find out about their motivations; Weiss wants to bring honour back to her family, Blake want to distance herself from the White Fang (that terrorist organization I mentioned earlier) and as an extension from Adam, Yang wants to have a life of adventure. They also talk about why Ruby wants to be a huntress and it turns out that she judt wants to help people. Unlike the others, she has no motivation besides that. We're meant to listen to that and look at her as a sort-of personification of Heroism: kind, but not naive, strong and most of all, selfless. The others on her team are not portayed as bad for not being like Ruby by any means but we are clearly meant to admire her the most out of all of them.

Okay, now comes the part Ive been looking forward to the most:

3. How did these themes evolve in the Modern Series'?

Alright, before we can really delve into the way they evolved in YGO I'll have to give you a brief summary of the character progression. At the start of DM, during the Duelist Kingdom arc, Yami Yuugi is just that; A darker Yuugi. Hes more confident, bolder, his voice is deeper, hes somehow taller, more ruthless, all that good stuff. Notably, he doesnt actually seem more skilled than Yuugi even at the start of this story, but he's still dependent on Yami. Yami on the other hand, has no identity of his own or even hints at one at this point. He's just The Other Yuugi.

Then during the Battle City arc, they find out that Yami was actually a pharao prior to being sealed in the puzzle, he just didnt know because of amnesia, I guess. So now they need to find out his real name and then send him to the afterlife because hes meant to be dead, but not before saving the world from being swallowed by darkness, which is also a thing they have to do now.

Then we finally get to the Memory World arc, where Yami, Yuugi and the rest of the gang astralproject to ancient egypt via puzzle magic. Yami is trying to figure out what the hell is going on and who all these familiar people are, while Yuugi & Co are trying their best to help him. Then some weird shit happens and it turns out that all of that is not just Yamis sealed away memories, but also a giant D&D Shadow Game that will destroy the world if Yami loses. So now theres Pharao!Yami who is still clueless on the metaphorical and literal playing field and Player!Yami, who is kinda controlling himself now? I guess?? Yamis opponent, The Spirit of The Ring, has something similar to that going on where hes both controlling and properly participating in the game. So Player!Yami is now fighting against Player!TSoTR, Pharao!Yami is now fighting against Thief King Bakura (who is like, the human, ancient egyptian version of the Ring Spirit) and Yuugi is now fighting against Yami Bakura (who is like, the human, modern japanese version of the Ring Spirit). Yuugi gets Yamis real name, he and the gang go over to Pharao!Yami and tell him his name, meanwhile Player!Yami is also somehow helping as well and they defeat the Ring Spirit, thus saving the world. Then they travel to modern Egypt, the Ceremonial Duel happens and Yuugi wins, sending Yami to the Afterlife where he can finally rest and that was the series!

I originally wanted to recount the stuff that was going on with the Ring Spirit and his host as well because they parallel eachother, but this summary is already far too long and I think youll get the point without me needing to explain any more.

My point here is, that the story went from being vaguely about Identity, maybe? to being very clearly about Self-Discovery and Learning to Be Independent. I think this is a very good way to evolve the messaging of your story. How does RWBY track on that?

Well, uh... its not great. I will acknowledge that they have tried to introduce new themes and ideas since, even though I wont really be talking about them in this post. But yeah, the whole Heroism thing really regressed.

Like, I didnt explicitly say it when I was explaining grimm earlier, but theyre not going away. The grimm have always been there and people who sign up to become huntsmen and huntresses are effectively signing up for a job that will never truly be done, no matter what they do. Characters like Ruby and even more minor ones like Phyrrah have shown us that that doesnt matter when youre a hero. No life isnt worth saving, no grimm isnt worth killing, no criminal isnt worth arresting. Then, in volume 6 they find out about Salem. Salem is the Big Bad of the show, shes immortal, controls the grimm and is supposed to be very powerful.

What do our heroes do? They give up. Sike! They were just mindcontrolled by monsters or some shit, of course they didnt give up their mission (which is to bring an Important Macguffin to a city called Atlas, sorry I didnt mention it)!

But then they arrive in Atlas (which is llike, a city thats floating over another city called Mantle) and yknow, they do some plot stuff thats not really important right now until the city gets invaded by Salem and this big grimm army she has.

What do our heroes do? Well, Ruby, Weiss, Blake and some side characters are chilling, drinking tea in a mansion and Yang and the B Team were actually trying to do something, but even those efforts seem incredibly minimal.

Oh wait, I also forgot to mention that Ironwood (a fairly minor, vaguely antagonistic character up until now) wanted to lift Atlas even higher to save Atleasian civilians from danger while leaving Mantle vulnerable to Salems invasion.

What would be the most heroic thing to do?

A) Let Ironwood lift Atlas, get as much support as they can down to Mantle and save as many Mantle civilians as they can from the invasion

B) Prevent Ironwood from lifting Atlas but then split up in order to protect both Atlas and Mantle civilians

C) Prevent Ironwood from lifting Atlas and then dont do anything else

Congrats! If you choose C, you think exactly like the writers!

And I just

This is so mindboggling to me, I feel like I shouldnt even have explain how this is bad. And like, it wouldve been so easy to actually make them seem herokc through their actions, to make it seem like they did try but no.

I have never seen a central theme be this botched, how in the world did they do that? Why did they think it was a good idea for Ruby "The Embodiment of Heroism" Rose to sit in a mansion doing nothing, no planning, no organizing just ..... God, how are they this bad? Like, this doesnt even have anything to do with it being planned in any way, this is just straight up incompetence

4. Very briefly touching on friendship

The friendship is awful and its not solely because they all have the same opinions. They barely interact with eachother outside their designated pairs which leads to it all feeling incredibly hollow. Theyre also practically indistingushable from one another now, which is a shame because it wasnt always like that. Like, I dont think the characters were that well-developed in earlier volumes but they were very well-characterized. But now we've gotten to a point where you can literally copy and paste one characters dialogue onto another and literally nothing changes, it really sucks.

5. Some closing words

Damn, this took way longer than I thought it would and now Im pretty exhausted. I have no idea how yall always write these but props to you! I feel like this ended up a bit rambly but overall, Im pretty proud.

Please let me know what you think of the points I brought up! Id also really appreciate some tips on how to get better at these longer posts because I am planning on writing more in the future (not the near future, probably but yknow).

Thats all I have to say for now, thanks for reading!

#rwde #rwby critism #anti mkek #yu gi oh #ygo duel monsters #yu gi oh analasis

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backtobackbakubabe · 5 years ago

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I’m Gonna Make This Place Your Home (part 2)

Bakugo X Reader

She’s just my roommate.

Words: 2810

*****************************************************************************************************

He sipped on his third coffee as he scrolled through article after article on his laptop. It was almost noon and you were still sound asleep. He'd let you sleep as long as you needed.

He had woken up with your back firmly pressed against his chest and his arm snug around your waist. He hated pulling away from you but he had to remind himself that he didn't know you and this was probably the last thing you needed. You had been a prisoner almost your whole life. You didn't need someone like him in your life. Someone harsh and angry. You had had enough of that already, he had seen it in your dream. He would be an asshole if he tried anything with you. So he would have to settle for slightly over protective roommate.

He was looking for any article that might be linked to you. Trying to find out more about you, anything that would confirm your story. Not that he didn't trust you, but he just needed to know. He had been looking for almost an hour and he couldnt find anything. He already knew you weren't going to be on any social media. But he couldn't find any articles about a kidnapping or a missing persons report. To be fair he didn't have much to go on. All he had was your first name. He didnt even know how old you were.

He was about to give up when something caught his eye.

It was picture of you. You were very young maybe 5 or 6, but it was definitely you.

Childs mother accused of selling her daughter and making it look like a kidnapping. Police found a suspicious amount of money that had been transferred to the mothers bank account only two days before her daughter was supposedly kidnapped. The transaction was untraceable, leading the police to believe that it was an illegal transaction of some kind. The daughter is on record for being an early bloomer who’s quirk is dream related. Such a quirk would be very dangerous in the wrong hands. The detective who made the original report on the kidnapping is now under investigation as well for corrupting evidence and tampering with the crime scene to help it fit the mothers story.

And he thought he had a shitty mom... He couldnt help but stare at the picture. You looked so happy. You had braided pigtails and a goofy smile, showing off your missing teeth. You were so young... You had no idea that you your life was about to turn to shit. You didn't know what your life was going to become. It wasn’t fair... You didn't deserve this. The little girl in this picture deserved a chance to be a kid, to grow up, to be normal. But that was taken away from you. You would never get that time back.

Thanks to the article he now knew how old you were, only about a year and a half younger than him. He cringed at the thought that while he and Deku were out exploring as children you were being forced to work for villains.

He slammed his laptop shut when he heard you tip toeing into the kitchen. Still only wearing his oversized hoodie and boxers. Your hair was now in a messy bun and you looked adorable. You were only in the kitchen for a few seconds before you came out with a cup of coffee.

You sat down on the couch next to him criss cross style. You gave your cup a weird look as you smelled it.

“What? Did I make it too strong or something?”

You gave him an embarrassed look, “I’ve actually never had coffee... I’ve always wanted to though. There was this book I read once, when I was probably around.. I don’t know thirteen. This girl met her soul mate at a coffee shop. She had written her number down on a napkin but he accidentally threw it away. Then he ended up going there every day in the hopes that he’d see her again. At the same time she was coming back to find him, but they kept missing each other. He ended up finding her again because she had a really weird coffee order and he heard someone call it out at the coffee shop. ” You shrugged, “I know it’s just a drink and its so stupid but...I don’t know.”

Bakugo stood up and took the cup out of your hands, “Well you’re not going to drink this shit then. Come on put some pants on. We’ll go out and get some real coffee.”

You tried not to be nervous as you walked a few blocks to the coffee shop. Bakugo was with you. Nothing would happen. You kept looking over your shoulder expecting someone to jump out and say ‘Gotcha’. Bakugo could sense you were a bit stressed so he put an arm around your shoulder and leaned in, “It’s okay to be cautious. You have every right to be. But you cant live your life in fear. As long as you’re with me you’re safe. Got it?”

You nodded taking a moment to enjoy his caramel scent invading your personal space, “Got it.”

You kept having to stop every so often and pull you pants up because it didn’t matter how tight you tied your borrowed sweatpants, they were just too big. Bakugo noticed this and paused. “Ok so clothes first or coffee first? You look a bit uncomfortable. I can can get you some clothes that actually fit you.”

You hugged yourself, “I wouldn't mind some pants... maybe a few shirts. But I actually really like this hoodie. Do you think we could get me one.”

Bakugo gave you a soft smile, “If you like it that much you can have it. Its just an old UA hoodie. I have tons of them.”

You gave him a beaming smile and a quick nod, “Thank you! I’m going to wear it everyday!”

He just laughed at you, “Really it’s no problem. It’s probably best if you wash it every once in a while though. So clothes first or coffee?”

You didn't even hesitate, “Coffee!”

A few minutes later you both were standing in line in the cutest little cafe. The menu was huge and overwhelming. You nervously tugged at your hoodie sleeve, looking back and forth at the expansive menu.

Bakugo saw your eyes dart back and forth over the menu, “That side of the menu is all tea. This side over here is all coffee. For your first time I would go with something sweet. Are there any flavors you prefer?”

You blushed, “I’ve recently been craving caramel.” He didn't need to know that that was purely based on the fact that he smelled like caramel last night when he was holding you when he thought you were asleep.

He nodded as you approached the front of the line, “Two hot caramel lattes, biggest ones you’ve got. And if you could add some cinnamon that'd be great thanks.”

The girl behind the counter gave Bakugo a bright smile that made you uncomfortable. She looked crazy... why is she looking at him like that? “Is there anything else I can get for you? Anything at all?”

You looked at him as he handed over some money to pay for your drinks. He seemed like he wasn’t paying her any attention. “No that’ll be it, oh wait! Y/n did you want anything to eat? Muffin? Croissant? Bagel?”

You bit your lip, “A muffin sounds amazing.”

He smiled, “Yeah I agree.” He turned back to the girl behind the counter his smile disappearing, “Please add two blueberry muffins to my order.”

The girls smile faltered as she turned to look at you. Obviously not impressed with what she saw. “Of course, we’ll have that right out to you.” She rolled her eyes as soon as she didn't think Bakugo was looking, but you saw it and you had no idea what you could possibly have done to upset this complete stranger.

You chose a cozy looking corner that had a couch and a little table. You were basically buzzing with excitement. You jumped up when you heard them call your order. You were almost to the pick up counter when you stepped on the end of the sweatpants you were wearing and tripped. Bakugo was up and at your side in an instant, “Hey walk much? I know you’re excited but I promise its nothing to trip over.”

You knew by his tone he was just teasing you. So you took his outstretched hand and pulled yourself up, “Thanks. I’ll try to be less embarrassing in the future.”

The same girl who had taken you order was now leaning over the pick up counter, “Well I’d start with not wearing baggy ass clothing in public.” She pushed your coffee towards you and plastered on the fakest smile you had ever seen, “Have a nice day. Come back soon.”

Bakugo’s hands slammed down on the counter but somehow when he started talking he sounded completely calm. Which was almost scarier, “Look here little miss bitch. I dont think you have a problem with her clothes, I think you have a problem with her wearing my clothes. I've been coming here for years and you always fucking flirt with me. It’s not my fault that after all this time you haven't picked up on the fact that I’m not interested. Next time we come in you better have one hell of an apology or I’m calling the owner. We go way back. I saved his life once. Who's side do you think he’ll take?” He looked over to you and handed you your coffee, “Here, take this and dont forget your muffin. We’re leaving.”

You felt you face heat up as you left the cafe, “Bakugo you didn't have to do that. I dont even know her. She can think what she wants. It doesn't bother me. No matter what she thinks it’s probably still better than the truth. There’s no way for her to know who I am or what I’ve been through.”

He grunted, “Thats the thing. She doesn't know what you’ve been through but it shouldn't matter! You treat people with respect, especially paying customers in your place of business. She’s lucky I didn't get her ass fired.”

You put your hand on his shoulder, “Thank you for defending me. I appreciate it, I truly do. But just know it isn't necessary.”

He softened a bit, “I told you. As long as you’re with me you’re safe. And that includes deranged baristas.” He didnt know why he was already so attached to you. He knows he met you last night but thats not really true is it? He's seen you in his dreams for months. In a way it feels like he’s known you much longer. He gestured towards your coffee, “So how do you like it?”

You brought the to-go cup up to your lips and slowly took your first sip. You closed your eyes and hummed in response to the warm delicious beverage. “This... is... wow. This is my new favorite thing.”

Bakugo pretended to be hurt, “Oh wow I thought you said my cooking was the best.”

You giggled, “I can like two things Bakugo. Coffee is my favorite drink. Your noodles are my favorite food.”

“Alright I think I can deal with that. Let’s go get you some clothes.” He stopped you before you could take a step and his hands found your waist. Your heart started to race, “Dont freak out I’m just trying to help you out a little.” His fingers pinched your waistband and rolled it a few times. Making the pants you were wearing a bit shorter as well as tighter. “That should be good enough to get you to the store without any more graceful accidents.”

And it was. You arrived at a clothing store just as you finished your coffee. He held the door open for you and you stepped into what was either heaven or hell. You weren't sure yet. There were clothes everywhere! Hanging on the wall. Folded on tables. There was hardly room to move around the store. “Oh wow.”

“Yeah I know... It’s a lot. But I figured you’re stating from scratch and this place has everything. Or so I’ve been told.” He pointed to a rack off to the back of the store that had an abundance of jeans, “Lets start there and get you out of those tripping hazards.”

You stepped out of the fitting room to show Bakugo the pair you picked, “What do you think? I think they fit pretty well.”

His eyes were immediately glued to your ass. He felt like such a creep for even looking but once he did it was hard for him to look away. “Yeah they look great. Why dont we get a few pairs.”

You looked at the price tag, “I dont know they're kind of expensive...”

He just waved you off, “Dont even worry about it.”

Bakugo sat patiently while you tried on clothes. Which was saying a lot for him. Sure he’s gotten better since high school but he still wouldn't consider himself a patient person by any stretch of the imagination. Yet here he was. You came out in a Ground Zero onesie and he rolled his eyes, “Real cute. Now put it back,”

You shook your head, “No I like it. And its on sale. Please! It so cozy! The inside is so soft! It’s like its hugging me.”

He grunted. Was he really jealous of an article of clothing? His own merch no less? “Whatever. If you want it that bad lets get it.” He stood up from his spot and cracked his back from sitting down for so long. “You about ready to go?”

You nodded as you started to pile all of your clothes into a basket by his feet. You had ended up with several pairs of jeans, leggings, and sweatpants. Tons of shirts, a jacket, three pairs of shoes, and a couple dresses. “Yeah I just need to get underwear.”

He blushed. God damnit Bakugo get your shit together. He had seen plenty of naked girls before. He cleaned his throat, “I think that’s over there. I’ll go ahead and start getting all this stuff rung up at the counter.”

You skipped away to the direction of the underwater department while he went to the front to start the check out process. The women who started ringing in all your items gave him a sweet smile, “You’re such a good boyfriend. I saw you over there with her while she tried clothes on. My fiancé would have been complaining in the first ten minutes.”

He flinched, “I’m not her... she's... were not together. She's my roommate.”

The women quirked an eyebrow, “Oh? And do you make it a habit of buying all of your roommates hundreds of dollars worth of clothes?”

Bakugo growled, “Just ring this shit up would ya?”

He was messing with all the kick knack stuff by the register, purposively ignoring the growing total. His eye caught a something that he knew he had to get. It was a necklace that had a rose cold coffee cup. The smoke swirled up into a heart and as cheesy as it was he just had to buy it for you. He tossed in onto the pile of clothes, “This too...”

She eyes it carefully, “Are you sure you two aren't-”

“Hey I picked some stuff out. I tried to stay pretty practical. Just got a bundle pack of underwear one nice bra and two sports bras. The lady over there helped me pick them out. She kept trying to get my to buy some really uncomfortable looking pair, insisting you would like it but they looked itchy.” You almost choked when you saw the total. “Oh my gosh Bakugo! We need to put some of it back! That’s way too much!”

He shook his head and put a hand on your shoulder, “Nope. You need it. You cant keep wearing my clothes. As cute as it is, you need your own.”

You picked up the necklace that was now sitting on top. “Oh I love this... but I dont remember picking it out...”

“That’s because I did. I thought you’d like i-”

You had thrown your arms around his neck, “You are honestly the nicest person in the world. I’m so glad I found you... I dont know what would have happened to me if I hadn’t.”

He made eye contact with the clerk over you shoulder and she was giving him a shit eating grin as if to say roommate huh? “I’m happy you like it.”

#bakugo #bakugo katsuki #Katsuki Bakugō #bhna bakugou #bakugo x reader #bakugo x y/n #bakugo imagine #bnha #bnha fanfiction #bnha imagines #bnha x reader #bnha bakugo katsuki #mha #mha imagines #mha bakugou #mha x reader #my hero academia

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delbeugre · 4 years ago

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Have you seen SADIE BEUGRE? DEL is in HER/THEIR SENIOR year. The MATHEMATICS MAJOR is 24 years old & is a CAPRICORN. People say SHE/THEY are GRITTY, BEWITCHING, RETICENT and WASPISH. Rumors say they’re a member of HASTINGS. I heard from the gossip blog that SHE BIT AN EX-BOYFRIEND’S PINKY FINGER OFF AFTER SHE FOUND OUT HE CHEATED, AND THEN HAPPILY SERVED TIME FOR IT.

im tommy im a freak and of course i am here to get freakalicious with u all... this is my newest frankenstein type creation named sadie i know .02% about her yet but i am more than confident she will b nothing but a fun time! like this if ur down to plot!

TW: VIOLENCE, MENTIONS OF JAIL/PROSECUTION, MENTIONS OF SUICIDE, DRUG USE

BACKSTORY

capricorn sun / virgo moon / scorpio rising

raised by her uncle Big (his name) who is a hermit shut in town local in the depths of the florida marshland like some goosebumps protagonist. hes gone far past socially acceptable in terms of his ability to connect with the modern person but is wise beyond belief... his whole vibe is a warped cross between a cryptid and a mountain man that forages and cooks neighborhood plants. married for 27 years before his wife passed from illness. its quite possibly the only thing hes ever been emotional about

but dels entry to his life throws a wrench in his sadness (despite abandonment being what they bond over). she takes the focus away from his loss with her presence; her dad, his brother, died in a tragic train-car collision around the same time (which is speculated to be a suicide bt nobody can ever really be sure). he was a single parent so her custody is thrown up in the air for a few months as cps decides what they r gna do with this freshly orphaned little scrapper

she just kinda turns up on his doorstep n from there they cohabit a space. shes arnd 6-7 at this time... big never seemed to b phased by the fact tht she was a child n tended to treat her more like an apprentice or guest. he was never close to her father because of their age difference, being the older out of the two, so to have his daughter become his responsibility is just..... weird

this doesnt mean that he wouldnt provide for her bt it was. not very parental whatsoever.... no conversation or interaction beyond what was necessary. she was a mute fr a while and still is? to a degree.... very short spoken

when she got to her preteens he offered her an allowance in exchange for little odds and ends of stuff to be taken care of around the house. errands n all tht.... sometimes he wld purposefully leave things for her to pick up n take care of without mentioning it for a bonus. taught her the importance of saving your money and the horrid corruptness of a society basing everythings worth off paper. big exposed her to a lot of knowledge and took advantage of her silent curiosity by fueling it with books, homeschooling, life skills (catching a fish, setting a trap, knowing your berries in the woods...... the works)

her teens carried out the same way bt with the introduction of a real job, a spot down at the local butcher shop checking people out at the register and helping around the back of house. del knows a great deal abt cow/pig/chicken/etc anatomy from her years here..... she committed to being 100% vegan into her early twenties because of her trauma frm this occupation

it paid very well tho n was the best gig she was going to get within a reasonable biking route from home. so she settled!

the plan wasnt to keep it up for long anyway. she worked rly hard for her spot at yates and didnt intend to ever screw herself over. her plan was to get her bachelors, masters, become a professor, pursue a personal hobby of agriculture and build an elaborate greenhouse to live in

bt things happen.....

some 35yr old douche with a green thumb woos her at a gardening store n swoops in to teach her a little more abt romance; all of this, of course, under the guise that he had all these tips and tricks for living environmentally friendly. a lame hippie wannabe that shouldve never even approached her bt alas.... he did

love is a touchy subject n it hadnt been something she set her sights on, but she was interested in wht this dude could teach her n at 19 she ended up falling in love. she delayed her education to stay an extra year back home and work out another plan which included him

this was very disappointing to her uncle bt he didnt have anything to say abt it. it was never parental before n it was never going to be, so this was another lesson she wld just have to overcome on her own

it turns out that she doesnt care for infidelity. when the confession comes out its met with a lot of screaming, bawling, blistering white hot anger. the whole incident is blacked out of her mind to b honest....

matters of the heart are no longer something to concern herself with because of the repercussions of her rash behavior regarding heartbreak O________O she spent a year in jail n still has to attend therapy / anger management meetings

deep down she is still hurting. there was a lot of pain... bt the sadness is not over the loss of some noob. she is in a state of constant disappointment, detaching from herself out of shame. putting her own life on pause only for it to turn out like that? stupid stupid stupid...

PERSONALITY

chugging along! tldr spectre-like swamp nymph aura with the slightest (not so slight) unhinged feral tendencies

delicate like a moth resting in the gleam of a flashlight.... her anger singes her wings when shes too comfortable staying in one place, so theres always constant stimulation, always shifting gears. shes prone to feeling threatened; that being said, sadie is wary of walking in crowds, a little bit skittish when approached without making eye contact beforehand. like a small grey kitten..... in a big wide world

has a hard time keeping a conversation bt is very interested in debate, and even more so in studying alongside someone in complete silence. it reminds her of home in the same sense tht her uncle wld nudge her to keep reading by always having his own book open

doesnt have many friends and is alright with that. rumors are tht she is still a virgin bt who really knows? not i...... bt i wldnt be surprised if this was true. shes not impressed by people nor material items so this whole yates crowd is a turn off

she is truly clueless when it comes to how to behave around anyone her age. i think she understands but it just doesnt compute. she could come off as impolite bt it is just standoffishness? some people cld try to crack her but i dont think even she knows what that would be, or what that would look like. even in her one (1) failed relationship it was never deep heart to hearts or sharing dinner..... solitude is her realm

del is very comfortable with herself, very open with her wardrobe! doesnt leave too much to the imagination? she appreciates the human experience n expresses that thru this whole “body is a temple” type thing.... not quite confidence, but proudness of being. has gotten multiple notices frm professors for her tops being too sheer, nylons too ratted up, etc. has dirt under her fingernails half the time, chipped polish, some chapstick. smudges her eyeshadow on with her fingers

doesnt smoke cigarettes all too often but is dependent on weed. it kinda perpetuates her paranoid demeanor bt at the same time it keeps her lax enough to be able to mentally handle city life

her room is a playground for huge monstera plants, christmas cacti, ivy creeping along the doorway. she sleeps on a tiny thin mattress on the floor with a linen sheet and has her books stacked up on the ground next to it to hold her ashtray. the whole thing is dumb empty

takes her studies seriously and pinches every penny she can..... she has never ordered herself a coffee frm somewhere before, ordered food frm a restaurant... nothing. i wld think the most she would branch out from harvesting everything on her own is buying a bag of sunflower seeds frm a gas station, but even then, she much prefers eating stuff she grows herself. has a tomato plant, some basil beginning to sprout, etc.... manageable crops for any college students tiny space

...

bt yea thats it thats all! connections cld be all over the place. im legit open to anything. theres only a few tht come to mind right off that bat:

a few people that get along with her? same classes? they shared a bowl n now theyre getting into the nitty gritty of some personal conversation that is veering into no mans land....

some sort of clueless makeover moment? arent rly into sadie as a person bt see a lot of potential... perhaps need a plus one to a party on the fly and figure thats the best option theyve got

crushes? this wld be fun n potentially dangerous! like playing with a hot cast iron pan or something :)

again im vry new to rp so i wld like to leave a lot of stuff up to chemistry, brainstorming n stuff like that, but please consider everything on the table! what i hav mentioned is the tip of the iceberg im so burnt out n i wrote a lot more than i intended to i am so sorry but i promise i am friendly

#yatesintro #/tw implied violence #/tw death mention #/tw drug use #/tw jail mention

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definedbywhatilove · 4 years ago

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seven months

hey taylor! this is a little story of my journey since the last time that i let you in to my inner world... its been seven months...(feels like 20 lifetimes of growth) and two months since I moved to California and one week since I left my grandest, most divine partner in L.A to continue my journey of self discovery, self awareness, self love, and self soverignty... and i wanted to mention something important to you -- a sign, an invisable string if you will. since i was a kid, your music always followed me and described my life experiences. as i began a deep journey of self understanding, i went away from the reality that i knew (much alike your time to yourself, away from the media) last oct/november. and i let myself fall deeply, and madly in love. you know the love i'm talking about. the red love. the deeply open and vulnerable heart love, despite all past burns to the heart. the one you write poetry and songs about. i know you feel deeply self worth inside. i know that you relyed on guys to help fill that void. same as me. same as so many beautiful woman out there. giving our hearts away.. loving so damn red. but loving so: fearlessly. bravely. courageously. vulnerably. openly. you can't regret a thing, can you? and the months piled up. nine months december 27 he came to Christmass dinner ten months january 27 this is... love eleven months febuary 27 this is home 1 year march 27 this is the 1 three days after, my life came crashing down. i wake up to coughing. masks. fear. my house turned into a graveyard a grounds of fear, pain, suffering sickness. not me. her. my dads partner. someone who i thought, in my own ego, i despised. in that moment, i knew i loved. two hours. it was less than two hours that i packed two suitcases, and a heavy backpack full of everything that mattered to me. i had practised this before. countless nights isoltated in my room, pretending to pack to run away. really considering running away. but never running. it was a blur. i don't remember much. a message to stay, but the knowingness that it was my time to leave. one last goodbye. no hug. a promise. with my father. knowing he would get sick. knowing that my father, my Rock, my stable Father could very evidently get sick and die. was this a goodbye forever? i didn't know but i left. i had to leave. by some greater plan from God, or whoever is orchestrating this magical universe, my partner moved to my city by chance through the winter and I went to him. i moved in; my heart afraid of moving in with somebody that i love because love had only ever hurt me. i moved in with my partner and allowed my dad the space to go through his own conscious awakening. thirteen months WILL HE DIE? i prayed everyday. i surrendered. i released the outcome. i surrendered to my partner and the relationship and accepted a deeper love than i have ever experienced during this time. i started my business. really, started my business. i started it in december but I didn't really know if I would ever get to see my dad again. through the fall and winter he provided for me whilst i recovered from being sick [reoccuring during fall/winter, peak in sept. same thing i felt during my journey in 2018]. how will i live as an adult on my own? provide for myself? what if he dies? i make my first 2k month. i surrender to love. i meet nature. fourteen months i called him for the first time. my dad. it was so painful to hear him speak. he was still sick. i began to slowly give grounded, healing advice. affirmations. colors. introduced the law of attraction. helping him know that his physical body was sick because his mind was sick of negativity. i move into my first apartment with my partner. its beautiful. he pays the rent. i get the entire room, he takes the living room. i was provided for. i continued my business. i held strong visions of travelling with my partner before the lease was up in august. it was my lifelong dream. i prayed for my dad and his partner. sitting in nights of fear and pain. letting go. trusting. rebuilding. health. NATURE. LOVE. date nights. park visits. lake visits. fifteen i saw my dad and his partner! in person! june 6, the first time since march 30. i went with my partner. i was nervous. i also get to see my cat ~~ who has always had siezures, that got even worse when they were sick... who i also had to let go of, not knowing if would survive.. but did! i gave him healing crystals. healing tips. love. hope. he opened. my dad whos heart was closed cracked open. i had never seen this mans heart open since i was a little child before my mom broke his heart. he left his job, you know. when i was a kid i was neglected for that job. one that i had to go to school too many times when i didn't feel because of. one that kept him gone late nights once a week. one that drained him. but the job that supported me physically and financially through my entire life. the job that helped give me a good life ~ his time and energy he gave into this job to provide for his daughter. he realized what it was doing to him. he realized, taylor. he realized. he got a new job. two hours away, a small county on the lake. a chance to start over. leave the karmic city he lived in. he also began to feel his emotions from what happened with the trauma of my mother. this was a miracle. a miracle. a miracle. and so, he would move away... starting his new job during the sixteenth month of this journey, july 13 i know at this point i will be travelling soon and leaving anyways, but could not leave my dad... and so the universe had him leave to set me free. i spent the rest of the month knowing he would move away, and likely i would too. but where? i saw him many times. gave him reiki too. we all went to the cottage together, him, his partner, me, and mine. summer solstice. peace. love. sixteen months i released all of my limitations. i chose love, abundance, freedom, health, bliss. i released my dad, my cat, my childhood home... [never grow up describes this situation]... a 21st birthday, really, a goodbye to my family... i booked a plane ticket. a month and a week to California. knowing, that it would be longer than that one month and a week. myself and my partner. one carry on and personal item. my self soverignty. my dreams. my abundance [first five figure month!!!] i left taylor. i left behind the city i always lived in to follow my dreams and passion. i'm living in my dream location. mountains. forests. lakes. a sacred site in Nor Cal. a childhood dream, if you will. a new life begins the night before i leave i see that you had an album out. folklore. i didn't know, because i had been going through so much stuff within my life that anything that happened online was not present in my life. i listened to caridgan for a few seconds. didn't feel right. i let you go...[knowing, like always, your music will come to me at the exact right time] i got on the plane. three layovers. an overnight train. i begin my new life on the mountain. begin again. seventeen months i am not the same. i have grown. i have healed. my time in the mountain has been the most groundbreaking, expansive, philisophical, healing time of my entire life. feeling like one month was twenty lifetimes of healing and growth. healing all of my childhood wounds, fears, pains. being of service in my business, providing healing for over 55 people. but... it was here where it started to break apart. that one last thing. i let go of the home. the cat. the family. the stuff. there was 1 more thing to let go of... eighteen months kyle, was his name you know. and of course, when we are hurt we go into the victim mindset right away. it is instinct. predetor and prey. it is conditioned into us. this time, after completing a cycle of 3 relationships of emotional manipulation, disrespect, not being loved the way i loved... i took full ownership for it. for manipulating MYSELF. for disrespecting MYSELF. for not loving MYSELF the way I love another. thats when the relationship healing and karma happens. when you take complete ownership for your own mistreatment knowing that this person was simply a mirror of the own hate, anger, and fear you have about yourself. it happened on september 2nd, under the full moon. it started, anyways. i was called to l.a out of Nor Cal. With him. and we Went. This is where the fun part starts, the intention behind this entire story but we're only getting to it right now because of course, I am a writer. The main message has to be supported by a story, right? on september 6th, we had a midnight train. i wanted to listen to music to help me release leaving the city i was living in in Nor Cal, cuz I had grown fairly attached to it. cardigan came into my life. [which i realize as i am writing this and listening to it, the version i have always listened to is the cabin one,... which I am just seeing you realeased on my birthday!!!! july 30th. how interesting] it fell into place this night. and i was meant to hear it now; your music has always been like a spirit guide to me. always a message when i need it. we had a midnight train. my partner got a nosebleed on the way...[stepping on the last train, marked me like a blood stain...] i knew in my heart we would be breaking up... the day before the flight to l.a, the day before the fires, i knew we would be breaking up in l.a. the night that invisable strings was introduced into my life, via my dear soul friend Emma. i knew that this song spoke of my memories and experiences with l.a. l.a was always a place for me to find self empowerment, bravery, and self worth. being the place that i endured my first break up in, l.a taught me self love. i knew that an invisable string was bringing me back to l.a, and really... back to [myself]. despite knowing what was to happen, i held myself through the flight to l.a. it's not like we officially broke up that day, but i knew going on this flight that since i was facing my biggest fears in real life that i would be about to experience my fear of being alone. i flew the day that san fransisco was orange. tiny little 13 row plane. deep fear of planes. in a moment of deep intuition and love, i opened my heart to hold space for the people on the plane that were also terrified of the fires and landing somewhere that was orange. holding people, holding space, through what could be seen on an Earthly scale as a trauma. moving past my own fears and negative thoughts and holding the emotions of love and safety. it was a big moment for me. i listened to invisable strings dyuring the plane ride. and two days later was when my fire happened. september 11 is when we officially broke up.. when i chose to stand up for myself, for my own love + respect, when i knew that i had to leave a toxic and co-dependent relationship... you know, i thought a tsunami was going to happen that day or something and i was going to die. i literally thought this was what was going to happen; but the death that happened was not physical, but the death of a relationship. we were in l.a until the 18th, in the same apartment, trying our best to go through our breakup while living with eachother. still getting groceries together [chasing shadows in the grocery line]... i could barely function. i know you know what co-dependent relationships can get like. beginning to function on your own without the love from them is hell. [cue. this is me trying] having a hard time adjusting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! letting go of this love. knowing i need to leave. we were in l.a until the 18th, in the same apartment, trying our best to go through our breakup while living with eachother. still getting groceries together [chasing shadows in the grocery line]... the ocean took me down; pulled my knee out. the day after telling my partner i need to do everything on my own and we be completely separate whilst living in this apartment together for at least a week. knowing we likely would stay till oct.my bodies way of still needing to rely on him. coping mechinisms. breakdowns. [pouring my heart out to a stranger, but i didn't pour the whiskey...] (This lyric. After my first relationship, I turned to alcohol. I got very dependent on this, and this runs in my family. It took me until a significant event at a party in 2017 for me to stop, i know you know what i mean. So it was a big deal for me, despite all temptations, to not turn to alcohol). i knew i had to leave l.a our host was offering us to stay until oct 1. i was 100% sure i was, despite living in the apartment with kyle, through breakup [not your typical i hate u breakup tho, one of deep love and mutual, conscious respect and love for eachother] going to stay. esp with how my body was, and my knee. and... if i went back home to Nor Cal, I knew i'd be going alone. And I knew my partner couldn't financially sustain himself at the time to stay anywhere other than back home. I knew he would have to quarentine for 14 days. I knew that by making this decision I would be completely cut off from him. i went to cancel our flight back to Nor Cal. 34 hours before. i was going to stay and stay in a place with a man who didn't have enough self love and worth yet to be able to love me properly. and then it happened. continue to financially support him. continue to love him uncontiionally. and then... sept 16 11:30pm the last excuse. the last invalidation. the last disrespect. the last act of hatred. the last act of emotional manipulation. the last time the gas light would ever turn on. i do not cancel my flight. i walked away. i chose myself. i messaged everybody that i knew to ask for help and support. i knew that this would be the hardest thing I ever had to do. i had to walk away from whom i know on a soul level to be my husband. i know. i know. i know. i know when we have both healed we will come back together in harmonious union; our relationship was all about growing. but it was time to grow apart, in order to grow back together with a stable individual foundation. the last day was magic. it was a new moon. santa monica beach. sunset. shopping. swimming. we allowed ourself to have a night of love. we knew that this was at the basis of our connection; true, undying, eternal, uncondtional love. we will always love each other in a deeper way than can be described in words. no painting, song, piece of poetry could describe this love. and it was painful. painful to love so deeply and openly and vulnerabily, knowing that come 6am I would be headed to the airport It was the most open and vulnerable I have ever been. Allowing myself to openly love so deeply despite knowing what was to come in just some short hours. I really poured my heart out. I opened up. I was vulnerable. I was my true self. And it was one of the best nights of my life, September 17th in Santa Monica, under the New Moon. we stayed up together all night holding each other. sharing a few last kisses. talking about our favourite memories each month of our relationship [i know they said the end was near...] we didn't sleep all night. the alarm went off, 4:50am. time to go. i packed everything the night before. i tied up my lose ends. we held eachother deeply. the final alarm went off, 5:10am. the pink sunrise in the uber on the way to the airport. the way that he didn't cancel his flight to go through security with me. not getting a coffee to spend every last second with him. and we sat in the airport and cried our hearts out. holding each other. crying. in front of anyone who cared to see. knowing one hour before boarding i had to take myself to the bathroom so that i could cry and prepare myself to fly [note: hopefully the airport worker knew we were gunna be okay] 7:48am, i knew the alarm was going to go off in two minutes. i take my power back and stand up, turning the alarm off. i said i have to go now or I will not get on the flight. i tell him he needs to walk away first. i can't do it. no. i'll feel abandoned. i have to be the one. i hugged him. one time. i said goodbye. i wished him well. i told him i love him. i put my backpack on. i get my stuff together. one last hug... one last kiss... and i pulled away. i walked away from the man that i know one day will be my husband and the father to my children to follow my own path of self discovery and worth and love. of healing. walking up to the airline worker, telling her my partner would not be coming on the flight with me. "okay, Miss, i will remove him from your party and from the flight," i held myself together. i did. the best i could. good thing i didn't sleep because that kept me at least less emotional and breaking down than i thought i would be. "now boarding flight xxxx to Sacramento, boarding rows 10-13..." i got myself on the plane. i couldn't believe i was doing this. how am i doing this? i knew when i sat in my seat and the plan began to prepare for departure, that i was completing a cycle of three. a cycle of relationship karma that began with my first, where we broke up on my birthday, 2016 in l.a... completing a cycle where i base my worth on another person, depend on another person, allow myself to get walked over... it was done. i asked that when i took off into the sky from the plane, the perfect line of the perfect song was playing... when i first had my breakup in l.a 2016, i was at a play to support my friend and actress. in this play, she sang a song called brave. this song, and message, got me through my first breakup. she was my rock and i swear the reason i made it through the night of that. l.a 2018, she wrote brave for a tattoo for me. we stopped talking for a while; i learned to be brave for myself. l.a 2020, the moment the plane takes off of the ground... [wool to BRAVE the seasons...] the moment you sang brave; the plane took off. a rush of feeling so proud for myself. knowing i chose me. knowing i chose a journey of self love. knowing i chose a journey of self worth. knowing i chose a journey of self empowerment. i sit here in my soul sister's apartment whilst she is cross-country, writing this. one week after i got back to Nor Cal. One week since my entire life shifted. And I am in the journey. The journey to self love, confidence, worth, empowerment, etc is not just a destination. There is a journey behind it all. It happens to contain a lot of crying. A lot of feeling. Some music. Friends. Good food. A warm coffee from the local coffee shop. Candles. Insence. Journal(S). Rest. Yoga. Meditation. Qigong. Reiki. Fuzzy socks. Oversized fluffy sweaters. Soft blankets. Stuffed animals. Books. Singing bowls. Love. And so, this is where I am. September 25th, seven months later. Wow. Writing this journey out and putting it on paper really makes me feel some things. It makes me feel fucking empowered. It makes me feel strong. It makes me feel brave. It makes me feel fearless. It makes me feel vulnerable. It makes me feel authentic. And with all authenticity, I had to be authentic with myself when I began to write this. Your music has been that constant. I have said it before, and I will say it again. Everything has always left my life but your music has always stayed. Your music has always found me in the right time in the right place. It has always supported me. You have always supported me. I was thinking back today, in a state of elevated joy allowing myself to feel happy that I got the opportunity to meet you through my life journey so far. And that... us meeting had to mean something. There is an invisable string there. There has to be a reason that during all of this your music was there for me. There has to be a reason it came to me in the time that it did. There is a reason for everything. So I write this, with a prayer that you will see this, but a surrender to the knowingness that what is meant to happen is going to happen. Also, a surrender to if anybody actually reads this! This is who I am, raw, vulnerable, authentic. I will always speak my truth, share my journey, and love Taylor Swift. Don't we all? Taylor, if you are reading this... from my soul to yours; thank you. thank you. thank you. seriously, for what you give up to be able to spread these messages via your music in such a global way. i completely see and understand what you have given up to do this. i love you. i love you. i love you. thank you for seeing me. thank you for hearing me. thank you for acknowledging me. thank you for validating me. thank you for loving me. see you next update, your friend Sarah.

#fortaylor #for taylor #messages to taylor #from my heart

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