#and that's freak (affectionate)

[simonbrain]

sending johnny voice messages while you're lying down in bed after a shitty day because he's deployed and you miss your man, except he's seeing them but not replying, which only worsens your mood.

meanwhile, he's jerking off to the soft, breathy murmurs playing from his phone. he's been so pent-up the past few days, and being away from his girls (you and your pussy) has only heightened the frustration, so he can't help it when the first thing he sees when he opens up your chat are the lengthy voice messages.

when he finally sends something back, it's a photo of him holding his shirt up between his teeth and a hand wrapped around his leaking cock, cum covering his belly, thighs, and even all the way up his chest. just the sluttiest photo you've ever seen.

sorry bonnie, couldn't help it ;) pops up under the photo, and you're just staring at your phone with an unimpressed look as more messages pour in of him asking if you could keep purring in his ear like that; maybe throw in a few instructions for him next time he wants to have a wank (which is probably soon, so get to it, love).

[kikipuff]

Kevin, leaning over Seth’s coffin: how could you do this to us, we’re so short staffed.

[kingthunder]

i see your kinky astarion and vanilla gale and i raise you vanilla astarion and kinky gale. these mfers be like

astarion: god please can i just have normal sex for once in my life, or even no sex, no sex is good too

gale: i just got so turned on watching you murder demons that i can't think straight, let's fuck in seven dimensions

[corantus]

aibotaurs

[shelbbot]

personal headcanon for v1/gabriel is that v1 doesnt really Get romance but keeps accidentally doing things that can be interpreted that way and gabriel is just like teehee [cries] [throws up] [kills someone]

[ama-a93]

wow hes so interesting! 😃

[morgenstern16]

I think one of the best things about Marcille is that she starts off the series with "ewww Laios, we can't eat monsters, that's gross" so you think she's the hoity-toity uptight party member but then twenty five chapters later she's like "ok, so we can save Falin, but it involves what people in the magic community call 'Super Crimes'" and fifty chapters after that she's made a deal with the dunmeshi equivalent of Satan to fulfill her wishes and nearly ends the world

[linoyes]

[slythereen]

still laughing at this because it’s one thing for US to say “lando should have handled max like charles does” but it’s another, significantly funnier thing for MAX to say “lando should have handled me like charles does”

[morganbritton132]

Eddie, interrupting himself mid-live streaming because Steve got home from work: Hey, baby. My PR manager called me today and said that you’re making me look “unrelatable” with your “big spending purchases”

Steve: Eddie, you’re the only guy I know who has been accused of murder, incited a mob, got ate by bats, and helped a band of plucky nerds save the world.

Steve: People like you because you’re weird. Not because you’re relatable. You have never been relatable

Steve:

Steve: Freak

Eddie, to the camera: That’s mean girl talk for ‘I love you.’

[trixrabitcereal]

how i imagine he makes his stupid orders

[sluttyhenley]

#ObsessedWithThatGuy

TOP GUN (1986) dir. Tony Scott

[plagalkey]

impatient

[barksbog]

sorry i know this is extremely unrelated to my usual posts but all my friends lust after knights and i feel like a freak and outsider for not getting it.

[fixing-bad-posts]

ily you 28 year old adult freak

[heynhay]

scene from where the apple falls by @jupiters-junipers :-) wholeheartedly recommend any and all of her work