#and that's football babey!

[dumbandpoetics]

JOE BURROW Cincinnati Bengals vs. Buffalo Bills Divisional Round | January 22, 2023

[gonnabeokaykid]

Listen. LISTEN

…we are all clowns okay? Live and let honk

[ratatatastic]

i couldnt make it out to the latam cup which is a shame but i did get my question of wait what chants does the 🇦🇷 stands sing during our hockey games? would it be football chants? yes. the answer is yes they did end up singing football chants XD notably its the "cada dia te quiero mas" chant

[carlomango]

Who would win one swedish goalkeeper vs the entire usa football team

[troublcmakcrs]

//mr & mrs tweak are my favorite sicko4sicko ship

[footballandshit]

pushing trent: no yellow

trent throwing ball: yellow

[brainfondue]

I hate football videogames but i gotta admit captain tsubasa for the ps is the coolest shit ever

[felidthing]

oh yeah i recently went to a gymnastics meet and the beavers WON babey!!!! i have no idea how many times theyve won out of the football games and gymnastics meets ive been to/seen but it was fun to be there for this one :]

[bottom-lexa]

Look I’m not saying I chose my favorite player on the team coz he looks hot af but I did kinda choose my favorite player coz he’s hot af.

[tigersharks]

oh yeah at the saturday game we kept doing our penalty chant to the other team which is “you can’t do that! (clap clap clapclapclap) you can’t do that! (clap clap clapclapclap) you can’t do that! (clap clap clapclapclap) your performance is subpar, and you suck!!” and our director kept going “we didn’t teach them that!!”

[abba-enthusiast]

The amount of times archie was homoerotically stabbed is frankly astounding

[livingprophecy]

KISSES TO THE SKY FOR THE KELCE BROTHERS BUT SPECIFICALLY TRAVIS MORE

[duskymrel]

TWST characters as different people i've seen at school

yes most of this is slander

Riddle: The kid who treated being line leader as though he had just been elected President of the United States of America

Ace: Would stand up in class and shout "FOR KOBE" and throw a piece of paper at the trash bin. Would completely miss.

Cater: Filming a fucking TikTok dance in the middle of the school hallway during class transitions. Fucking MOVE, i got places to be. (I walk directly though their tiktok and ruin it)

Trey: That kid who's birthday you know by heart and eagerly await every year because he brings in the BEST desserts. The good kush.

Deuce: Says the stupidest shit in class unironically. Other guys are confused as to how this makes him more endearing but girls fawn all over him.

Azul: Passes by his crush (Jamil) in the hallway and thinks blud will stop and fall madly in love with him at first sight and will declare his love to Azul and it'll be something straight out of a teen girl movie. It ends up playing out exactly like this video: https://www.tiktok.com/@irljigsaw/video/7232906141385215274?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc

Floyd: Kid who only likes Chemistry because he's crazy excited about mixing chemicals and setting things on fire. Anything he makes in a lab he loudly comments on how badly he want's to take a bit fat slurp/bite out of it. (it's me i do this)

Jade: One of the mushroom core girlies. Wears mushroom jewelry, has mushrooms patterns on his clothes, draws them for art class, draws them on his notebooks and binders. It's almost obnoxious but he's forgiven by everyone because he's hot.

Leona: Literally doesn't give a shit about school. Shows up in pajama bottom's and takes the fattest nap right in the middle of Geometry.

Jack: The only nice guy on the football team, girls LUST for him ❤

Ruggie: The only class this kid liked was free and reduced lunch (real)

Kalim: Guy who refuses to eat school food. He's probably got the right idea, that nacho cheese sauce probably causes cancer. Brings the most banger lunches and makes people jealous. (Lunchables, the GOOD fruit gummies, chips, a cookie, and a Caprisun.)

Jamil: In classes where you're not allowed to eat, he's the kid who sits in the back and makes a 9 course Gordan Ramsay approved gourmet meal.

Idia: This was so easy this guy was the anime weebo who wore anime merch every day and sometimes even wore anime wigs to school. He won't admit it but he would Naruto run through the halls in middle school.

Ortho: The cute little innocent babey schnookums who the girls all doted on. Hurt him and you'll get jumped by every girl in the student body. Fuck around and find out type shit.

Vil: Bozo who would literally paint their nails in class and would be doing their eyeliner while the teacher was trying to explain mRNA.

Epel: YEEHAW REDNECK KID. you know who i mean. the one who wears a hat with the American flag on it every day and whenever the teacher tells them to take it off they go on a rant about how unpatriotic the teacher is.

Rook: The only kid who actually liked French class. Tries to rizz people up in the hallway and asks for their Snap but always fails. Maidenless behavior.

Malleus: The tall quiet emo kid who slumps in his chair on his phone, with the bottom resting on his belly. He looks like he's listening to edgy emo music but it's actually tooth rotting cheesy pop music

Lilia: The manic pixie dream girl who will spew the most wise sage advice when asked.

Sebek: Literally one of those girls who's attached to her boyfriend like a parasite. You cannot separate her. Overly loyal and won't stfu. Is like a mix between a golden retriever and a chihuahua.

Silver: I swear on my life he's one of the kids who's been adopted by his entire friendgroup. People love him he's just a likeable person. He makes a new friend and BOOM they've adopted him. You're my son now, boy.

--------

@heartscrypt i thought specifically of you while writing Azuls

anyways all of these are people i've known i've got irl sources for this. no i won't apologize for all the slander because it's funny.

[twingeof-cosmic-angst]

one of my favorite Doctor Antics™️ has to be the doctor being held at swordpoint, very nonchalantly impaling an orange on said sword, and then pulling out a football rattle from his pockets and goin HOGWILD BABEY!!!

[oh-surprise-its-me]

Roy/Jamie idea: don’t know if you do mpreg or not but I had this idea of Jamie starting to feel weird, get sick in the mornings a crave the strangest food. Roy gets worried sick and finally takes Jamie to the doctor for some tests. The results are on and Roy thinks Jamie’s dying, asks the doctor how long Jaime has. He’s devastated when the doc says maybe 8 months give or take. Roy rushes to Jaime who’s glowing and assures him they will make the best of the time they have left. Jamie’s like honey I’m not dyin’ I’m havin yet babey! Roy passes out but I’d super thrilled when he regains consciousness

I’ve read and written worse things to afraid of a little requested mpreg.

So yeah I’ll write it! But also know I’m drunk tonight so yeah!

Content warning- mpreg. And don’t be a bitch in the comments there’s a clear warning. In my mpreg universe they can have kids only by c-section.

Jamie had actually been throwing up for about two weeks before Roy realized. Once he found out and then found out how long it had been happening he flipped.

It doesn’t help that Jamie just tried to play it off as food poisoning from the weird stuff he’s been eating recently. If fact Roy probably reacted worse once Jamie started naming the things he’s been eating.

It’s the first month of the off season he’s allowed to get a bit loose with his meals

Jamie gets it. He does. He probably would’ve reacted the same way.

Thus comes the logical conclusion of Jamie sitting in the doctor’s office with Roy in the waiting room.

He’s been swinging his legs for the past few minutes waiting for the doctor to come back. He’s texting with Keeley about getting brunch as soon as he doesn’t feel like throwing up everything.

His doctor comes in with a smile, Jamie loves her. She always listens when he says something is wrong and gets that he has weird injuries with football.

She sits on the stool and rolls closer to him, “okay Jamie you ready?” Jamie takes a breath he nods.

“Short version is you’re totally fine. But you are pregnant.”

Jamie blinks. He can’t have heard her right. “Sorry come again?”

She smiles, “pregnant Jamie, about a month and a half along. We always knew you had the gene, always knew it was a possibility. Now there’s choices you can make if this isn’t what you want.”

Jamie shakes his head. “No I’m glad that people have choices but I want this. Never let myself think about it but now I want it.” She smiles at him again. “Fabulous okay do you want to call the father? I’m going out on a limb here and guessing it’s Roy.”

Jamie laughs. He burns a bit pink, “yeah it’s Roy, guess we weren’t always safe.” She laughs, “it’s okay you don’t have to explain you just have to be happy.”

“Can you get him for me? Just tell him he needs to be here.” “Want to freak him out?” Jamie laughs again, “Marie you know me so well.”

-

When Roy comes in the room the first think he does is catches Jamie’s hand. “You okay? Know why you’re throwing up?”

Jamie sighs. He knows it’s mean but he can’t help it. “Yeah it’ll all be over in about eight months.”

Roy inhales. “Oh god Jamie I’m so sorry. It’s okay we can do this. It will be fine. We’ll take off from football. Fuck football. We’ll travel. You know I’ll never leave you.”

Marie is refusing to look at Jamie. She knows she should stop this but he’s having a good time.

Jamie breaks. He lets out a laugh. He grins at Roy. “You better not leave you helped make this problem.” Roy tilts his head. He looks at the doctor then back to Jamie. “I’m pregnant Roy.”

-

When Roy comes back to himself it’s to Jamie holding him in his lap with Marie gently chastising Jamie. “You should’ve told him to sit at least you evil boy.”

Roy tilts his head back to look at Jamie. “You’re pregnant??” Jamie nods. “I’ll leave you two alone for a little bit.”

Marie leaves. Roy sits up he turns to look at Jamie. “Pregnant?” “Yeah. We really haven’t been careful.”

Roy feels some tears start. Jamie inhales, he wipes away the tears that fall. “Are you okay with this?”

Roy laughs. “God of course I am. This is a dream baby. Oh fuck a baby. Goddamn it Jamie you’re brilliant.”

Jamie let’s out a wet laugh. “Not angry? Happy? You’re gonna be a dad.”

Roy let’s the tears come down his face for real now. He kisses Jamie. He’s never not going to kiss Jamie. “You know this is going to take you off the field for the whole next season?” Jamie takes Roy’s hand. He puts it on his stomach, “it’ll be worth it. I’m not going anywhere on the team, just taking a break.”

“The guys are going to lose their minds.”

Jamie kisses Roy again, “mum is going to lose it are you kidding me?”

“Oh fuck we have to tell your mom we fucked.”

Jamie let’s out a big laugh. “Hon she knows she’s seen the hickeys.”

Roy goes bright red. “Jesus.”

“Phoebe and your sister are doing to lose their minds.”

Roy pulls Jamie into his lap. “We’re going to get so much baby clothing.” Jamie can’t stop smiling he’s so excited. “Come on let’s go check out. I want to take you home.”

When they get back into the car Jamie let’s out the cheer he’s been holding in. “Oh my god Roy I’m so excited to have a kid with you.”

Roy kisses him again. “I wouldn’t want anyone else to be the father of my kid. Kids? Kid.”

Jamie laughs “god knows you’d be able to knock me up with twins.”

“Don’t you dare say that, we can’t handle two kids.”

-

8 months later they have a little girl. She’s got curly black hair and bright blue eyes. It’s the happiest they’ve ever been. They know it won’t be easy but what in their lives has been. It will be easier then most things because of how much they love each other.

[liverpool-enjoyer]

HAPPY HALLOWEEN (YEAH ITS MAY I WAS TOO BUSY DURING OCTOBER TO WRITE THIS OK)

TWENTIETH EPISODE SPECIAL BABEY!!!

summary: Happy Halloween!

tag list (lmk if you want in): @the-lazy-perfectionist @reijndeers @loverpool-chocolate-fishy @1-800-away-we-go @sehrgefaelltmir @findingnemosworld @meowiesa