#and that's CRIMINAL btw

[hyperfixation-tangentopia]

I'm so sorry for the menace I'm about to become in relation to Camp Cretaceous, by the way. Usually I have irl people to dump it onto but with Events I no longer have irl people to dump it on so...yeah

[prlssprfctn]

Every time another joke about Batman/Bruce Wayne passes by me, I can't help but imagine that the whole rumour about these two dating was originally (and probably accidentally) created by Bruce himself.

Just imagine, a teen Bruce, still only starting with his vigilante career, makes a crucial mistake - he pays with his own credit card in front of people, while being Batman. A stupid, absolutely instinctive mistake, but in his defence he wasn't sleeping normally for a week, and had an open wound in his stomach that day, so. Whoops.

And then someone asks Bruce Wayne about it, in front of a thousand cameras. And he blurts out the first thing that comes to his mind.

Reporter: So, mister Wayne, recently citizens had reported that they saw Batman paying for the damage in the city... with your credit card. Care to explain details behind this?

Bruce, smiling stupidly: Oh, he is my ex. I sometimes sponsor him.

The crowd: (goes wild)

Alfred, starting at the interview back in the Batcave: ...We are never going to get rid of this, are we?

And guess what? They don't!

Bruce thinks that with time passing, with his love interests switching and new rumours spawning in the world, they might forget about it. He was young, he was stupid - he fucked up, alright?

But decades pass. He has a whole football team of kids. Everyone still ship Bruce and Batman.

And when this stupid video accidentally gets resurfaced on the internet again, his family goes insane. They start creating even more stupid rumours on galas.

Reporter: Mister Wayne... For years now, the crowds are speculating... Who is exactly your mother, and where is she now?

Damian, sighing pitifully: My father and my mother don't enjoy contacting each other, sadly. My mom says that their relationship was just a rebound; father desperately tries to forget Batman... Still, to this day.

Bruce, gripping the glass of champagne: ...

Talia, watching this interview with Ra's: Now, that's my son right there.

Dick: Oh, why I was screaming at Batman in the middle of the street a few days ago? Oh, this bastard- I mean, this respectable vigilante, he dared to get in the argument with Bruce. He can't really leave him alone, really! They are so insane about each other... So toxic, but so, uh, captivating... But you know, Bruce! He has such a fragile heart...

Gotham: Aw-w, poor mister Wayne!

Bruce, sighing: Jesus Christ.

Tim, shaking his head to the camera: I hate Red Robin, really. Did you know that his existence is just a direct offence to my father? Yeah, actually, Batman took this kid under his wing with another man - I am not going to tell who - to make dad jealous. This is disgusting!

Jason, who returned from the death by pretending that all this time he was under the child protection system after becoming an accidental witness of the second Robin's death: Oh, yeah, it was tough... Poor kid exploded in front of my eyes! Reporter: But, mister Todd-Wayne, what were you doing in that warehouse?

Jason, wiping fake tears: They were like my divorced parents, you know... Batman and Bruce. Batman really tried to mend things with dad back then, and wanted me to like him... We just wanted to spend some time together with him, and that Robin kid... God, it was terrible... Batman refuses to contact me now. I miss my second dad...

Bruce, back in the Batcave, watching as Batman's reputation goes lower and lower: ........................... Alfred: Well, master Bruce... Bruce: Not a word. Al. Please.

[chloesimaginationthings]

Vanessa TOTALLY got those Tapes for the FNAF lore..

[crsssie]

down the neck - spencer reid x sharpshooter!reader

"Stop breathing down my neck." You huff, glancing through the scope at the unsub.

"Well, I have to lay low too, no?" Spencer frowns.

"It doesn't matter." You squint, humming. "Hit the button and ask Hotch if I can shoot. Be fast."

"Hotch, we have a clear shot."

"I have a clear shot."

"Snippy—"

"Fire."

You click your tongue, pulling the trigger once to hit the unsub's hand and a second to snipe the gun out of range as Morgan flies into the place. You watch through the scope as Spencer looks through the binoculars, and you only start to sit up when you see Morgan pull the unsub out. Then, you actually sit up and start packing up.

"Stop breathing down my neck." You huff.

"You weren't complaining when I—"

You hold a finger to your lips, pointing at your earpiece as Spencer blinks, laughing when you hear a cough in your ears from Hotch.

"Sorry."

"Need I remind you both of—"

"Nope." You puff out your cheeks, slinging the gun around to your back as Spencer raises a brow. "Actually, I think Reid needs a quick reminder. He'd love to go through another HR meeting about how we shouldn't be fraternizing with—"

"We're good, Hotch." Spencer cuts you off, rolling his eyes at you. "We'll see you back at the station."

"You're driving." You mumble, turning off your mic. "Two dollars and I'll drive. Four dollars and I'll make a stop at McDonalds."

"And for five?"

"I'll sneak in a kiss plus everything else."

"I think that can be arranged." He hums, pulling out a five as you press your lips to his, tongue swiping over your bottom lips as he chases when you pull away. You stick your tongue out teasingly as you take the five, craning your neck so that his lips would hit your neck instead. "Hey."

"I'll drop a ten if you—"

"Reid."

You laugh as Spencer jolts straight, pinching the bridge of his nose at the sound of Hotch.

"Turn off your mic next time."

"Roger that, sir."

You're too busy laughing the rest of the way back to be able to drive. (but spencer has no complaints when you hand him back the five with a chaste kiss to his lips).

[starvinginbelair]

the best explanation of the pre-flashpoint batfamily i think i've ever seen

[yurieater69]

alot more zhu yuan doodles

[keferon]

I’m so fucking insane about them you have no idea.

Listen. L i s t e n. My headcanon is. If only Optimus was there when Prowl got mind controlled by the Decepticons. If he was there he would be able to tell the difference. Every other bot just looked at Prowl and went …oh well I guess this asshole is evil I’m not surprised and never liked him anyway. But Optimus would see it. He fucking would

The comics I took these screenshots from are “Optimus Prime” and “Combiner wars”

[reidsminds]

this man in black is dangerous. it's like waving a red flag in front of a bull. I would charge and pounce on him.

[serenityofwitches]

vest stays ON.

[jelestes]

jennifer jareau has possibly the WORST case of internalized homophobia/comp het i’ve ever seen in the history of television, like she legit has a coming out scene in 3.17 (they made it about will but WE KNOW what she meant by saying the unsub was targeting gay people because they saw the freedom in their victims they wished they had like BE SO FUCKING FR) also her small town/implied religious upbringing?? another unsub calling her a lesbian in 9.20 for legit no reason?? (jigsaw spewing facts lmao), the whole fight she has with her mom where her mom goes “a daughter who never saw 17 and the other…” and jj is like “the other WHAT mom?” and after a considerable amount of silence her mom replying “…left”, the fact her own family is broken so it’d make sense she would marry the father of her children so she could give them and herself some stability??? pls i could honestly go on and on and on… free my girl from that closet.

[flaminghotjareau]

emily’s big dopey smile um ma’am there’s an unsub right there

[maxz-b]

having baby charles mildly inconvenience him really did teach seb about empathy and give him humanity. beekeeper ass. part 34/???

[arlo-has-descended-to-dirt]

Nothing to see here just Spencer admiring the ass of the worlds dilfiest dilf

[tomcriuse]

Criminal Minds 1.22 'The Fisher King: Part 1'

[shadystranger]

this was crazy

[crsssie]

floor seven - spencer reid x sharpshooter!reader

"No! Snippy's on that floor, you can't just—"

"In full tactical gear." Hotch nods. "Garcia has them on the camera. We know where they are."

"That makes it all the more dangerous—"

"They've got orders to kill. They'll never miss the unsub." Morgan nods.

The phone rings, and there's a sense of dread that fills Spencer as everyone turns around to stare at the unsub.

"Your parents are dead." Spencer swallows, staring behind the unsub as he catches the familiar gleam of your scope. "you want to know what's really going on? You were in a car accident three nights ago and you suffered a head trauma."

You move quietly, footsteps quiet on the carpet as you hold your gun up.

Spencer blinks once at you, and you stay still, finger hovering over the trigger. "Your eyes and your mind are playing a trick on you. When you see your family, you think that they're imposters, but it's all caused by an illness."

You let the team bring the wife to him and cover his eyes, lowering your gun when the officers bring him out.

Spencer's on you immediately, arms wrapped around your shoulders, forehead knocking into your helmet in the urgency.

"You good?" You reach to brush where he hit it, eyes soft as he groans.

"They scared me when they locked down the seventh floor."

"I'm safe." You wiggle your arms out of his grasp, unclasping your helmet and gloves to drop them, thumb brushing over his cheek. "I was heavily armored. I would have survived."

"Not a bombing." He whispers, pressing his forehead to yours. "He could've shot you while sneaking through."

"He didn't. He had an objective." You close your eyes. "Thank you for signalling to not shoot."

"The daughter was watching." He lets go of you, bending down to pick up your gear. "That's more trauma than she can take. Did you see her cry for him when he was being taken?"

You blink at Spencer, shaking your head. "You alright? You were rambling."

"Got nervous." He mumbles. "I didn't want him to turn around."

"I would've shot him if he did. Had my pointer on the bottom of his spine."

"Paralysis."

"Yes." You hum. "I'll talk to Hotch, and we can go home, alright?"

He closes his eyes, hand resting on your neck as he touches foreheads with you. "Just... a moment."

"As long as you need."