#and that you're having a great week!
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( 🥐 anon )
hiii ! how are youu? :D
i have a little funny thing for ya;
drunk steddie arguing about who is gayer that who while robin drives them back from a party.
yaaayy thank you for this fun prompt! I'm sorry it took me a while to get to it, but i hope you like a very annoying drunk steddie and a sober robin who unfortunately has to deal with that :)
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'This is fucking scary,' Steve whispers into Eddie's ear – but drunk Steve whispers at a volume that's somehow way louder than his regular voice.
'Do you not trust my driving skills, Steven?' Robin asks, shooting Steve a glance through the rearview mirror; he and Eddie are a chaotic tangle of limbs on the backseat, their hands on each other's legs and Eddie's head resting against Steve's shoulder, his wild curls hiding half of Steve's face from view. She got her license only two weeks ago, but she's actually pretty confident in her driving skills. Steve's the one who taught her, after all.
'Course he doesn't,' Eddie answers for him. 'You're gay. Gays can't drive. 'S common knowledge.'
'Hey!' Steve exclaims. 'I'm gay, too, and I can drive very well!'
'Guess you're not gay enough, then,' Eddie offers.
Steve gasps as if Eddie has offended him right to his bones.
'I am gay!' he shouts out. 'And you know it, baby.'
Robin flashes another quick glance in the rearview mirror to see how Steve leans even closer into Eddie's space, lips dramatically pouting forward, making a grossly exaggerated kissing sound.
'Nope!' she yells to get his attention. 'No makeout sessions on my backseat, you know the rules, don't even think about it.'
'But Robbieeee.'
Steve always gets like this when he's drunk: whiny and needy and clingy. It's cute, but also kind of annoying sometimes. Mostly, it's cute when it's directed at Robin and annoying when Eddie is the object of his neediness.
'I need to prove to Eddie how gay I am.'
Eddie scoffs. 'I'm much gayer than you anyway, Stevie.'
Where drunk Steve is clingy and needy, drunk Eddie always has to turn everything in a goddamn competition. Robin rolls her eyes, but can't entirely suppress a smile creeping onto her face. She loves those two dinguses way too much to actually be annoyed.
'That's not true!' Steve says.
'Yeah, it is,' Eddie counters. 'You're better at driving than me. And I slept with more dudes.'
'Yeah but I am wearing makeup right now.'
'So? I wear nailpolish and eyeliner, you only wear lipgloss.'
'That doesn't count, you wear them to be metal, not to be gay.'
'You like girls though, and I don't.'
'Are you saying you're a misa- miso- misigi-'
'Misogynist?' Robin supplies for him.
'That.'
'If that makes me win at being gay, then yes,' Eddie deadpans.
'What if I... show you just how gay I am when we get home?' Steve whispers at his obnoxiously loud drunk-whisper volume.
'Nope!' Robin shouts before Eddie can even say anything. 'There will be none of that, I'll be in the goddamn room with you, don't you dare!'
'Did you hear that?' Steve keeps whispering. 'Robin's homophobic!'
'Buckley...' Eddie leans forward and lays a hand on her shoulder. 'You can drive, and you're homophobic. We're revoking your gay rights. You're straight now.'
'Ha! So I'm gayer than Robbie?' Steve asks.
Eddie chuckles, directing all his attention back to his boyfriend. 'Oh, for sure, baby. I'm still the gayest, though.'
#i hope you liked how this one turned out my friend <3#and that you're having a great week!#don't mind me rambling about stranger things#steddie#steve harrington#eddie munson#robin buckley#stranger things#fruity ficlet
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Oh love your losers forever number 2 group doodles. Seeing the doodles, I realized Leona and Vil are together longer than with Jamil.
Well, even on the off-chance that they weren't already dating before, they've still known each other for a while longer, while Jamil was off in his corner pretending to be mid and trying not to attract attention.
In both cases, Leona and Vil would already have their own habits/banter and Jamil, who is barely getting used to standing out and competing against "higher status" people, would take more time to feel comfortable.
(I have paragraphs of potential dynamics between those three, I could talk about them for hours haha)
#(IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SKETCH?!)#Do you guys realise the potential for hurt/comfort with these three?#Particularly the fact that as a polyamorous group they'd have to challenge their own feelings about never be first?#because they wouldn't even be the “other half” of their significant other#they aren't number one; they aren't number two; but a secret third thing#(loved and cherished)#love isn't a competition#and that's such a great angle for a story with the three of them#WHY DON'T I MANAGE TO WRITE IT GODSDAMMIT ?!!#(I know you're here V; I'm just frustrated TwT)#twisted wonderland#twst#art#my art#jamil viper#mello's drawings#leona kingscholar#vil schoenheit#leovil#leojami#leojami week 2024#leojami week#javil#forevernumbertwogang#forevernumbertwosquad#n2 squad
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So this tweet made a real good point and got me thinking about this scene:
As mentioned in their tweet, "you don't 'beg for mercy' for a job," and here he sounds so scared and desperate, like he's had to do this A LOT before with the directors and it's so... sad.
(more under the cut)
Before he finds out the truth about Eden, he believed they saved him from his former life and gave him new opportunities to continue his dreams, but do you think having to needlessly beg to keep your position as literally being the face of Eden out of fear you'll be replaced and thrown right back out to your old life is a so called dream come true?
Eden even made a trailer for a movie about his life to fame, showing how everyone was rejecting him as a person, which they definitely made it more simplified like I KNOW he was getting way worse treatment than what was shown.
My main point is that despite believing in Eden's motives (before knowing the truth), he still wasn't truly happy deep down. He was STILL getting rejected and slandered by society, and he knew that deep down, so it's not surprising how the possibility of him losing his job made him have a whole breakdown and do the things he did to try and cope.
He quite literally has no one to lean to and hasn't had anyone since showing up to Eden besides the directors (because he probably believed they were treating him fairly and with respect), but... yeah.
He wanted to make a difference, to give hope to hybrids, and he thought he was doing just that. Despite the way the directors and everyone thought of him, despite how alone he felt, he still thought he was achieving his dreams and sharing that onto others
and yet... he was being used this entire time. None of it was true, all the hard work and the things he went through was for nothing.
Everything that Eden has done, and he was the face of it all... it's just devastating.
#another one from my twitter#I've only been a fan of rayman overall for two weeks and now I'm sobbing over him this is a new record#shout out to that one analysis from raygirlramblings#it was because of your post that cemented my love for this character and almost had me cry and get too emotional at a library /pos /lh#captain laserhawk#rayman#cl rayman#cl ramon#captain laserhawk rayman#captain laserhawk ramon#analysis#OH AND ALSO I was watching the show with my sibling who then mentioned to me how rayman had probably been replaced before and#he's just one of the copies and MAN#I NEED ANSWERS GRAHHHHH#anywho if you're still reading this... thank you 🥺💖 and I hope you have a great day!
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The First Rule
So just a reminder to everybody: the first rule of Hermitcraft fandom on any platform is DO NOT BE AN ASSHOLE TO THE HERMITS!
I will repeat it for anyone who was skimming the first time.
DO NOT BE AN ASSHOLE TO THE HERMITS!
I'm not sure why this is so hard for some people, especially on Twitter and Reddit, but we on Tumblr are not immune either. The Hermits are people and they are artists and they are entertainers. They are not your punching bags, their are not your parasocial therapists, and they are not mouthpieces for your political causes! Using them for any of these things is NOT OKAY.
The mental health of all the Hermits would probably be improved if they could just go completely private on their social media, only engage with their real-life friends and people they like, but they can't. Social media engagement is required for their work. That means that bellying up to the comment section and demanding they agree with your political opinions is like doing that to the barista at your coffeeshop while they're trying to pull you an espresso. It's totally inappropriate, it's bullying (especially in large numbers) and it's not going to get you what you want, if what you want is good Hermitcraft.
If you want to strike on your blog, that's fine. If you want to try and have nuanced political discussions on a format that only rewards lightning-fast bite size takes, no matter how bad they are, go for it. But the moment, the very instant you start badgering other people to do the same, you're wrong and you need to stop. This applies _especially_ when you know that the people you're badgering are reliant upon their social media for their livelihood. Nobody ever became morally good from what they do on Twitter or Reddit or Tumblr or Tiktok, but a hell of a lot of people have become worse.
#hermitcraft#fandom stuff#the bullying online i have seen this past couple weeks is unreal#performative activism feels great but if you're not very careful it will make you a worse person#i also feel really bad for the youngsters in the community who actually believe that they will be bad people if they don't reblog whatever#i just want to hug them and tell them that none of this matters and none of the people yelling actually care about them at all
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Kinktober Day 11 <3
Tsukishima x sensory deprivation
Warnings: NSFW, fem reader
Words: ~ 1,1 k
Kinktober Masterlist II -> Next day
"Come on, just let me take off the blindfold."
You sigh and wiggle your wrists in his grasp, only for him to snicker amusedly. "I feel like you don't fully understand the concept of sensory deprivation. The blindfold is essential for this." You can hear him click his tongue at the end of the words, feigning annoyance while he answers. "I know, but isn't it enough that you're chaining my hands to the bed?" As a cue, he wraps the silky tie around your wrists, tight, but far from painful, expertly tying the knot around your hands.
"I don't think so." He squeezes your cheeks, and you try to protest but the words come out as nonsense. "Just be patient for me. Can you do that?" You feel him shift his weight on the bed, his lips now at the shell of your ear when he whispers the words. A shiver runs down your spine and you quickly nod- maybe a bit too eager because he is quick to release a mocking snort.
You hold your breath when you feel his hands on your body, his thumbs rubbing the material of your blouse above your collarbones. Goosebumps form on your skin, his touch warm when his knuckles brush against the swell of your breast as he starts to unbutton the fabric. His hands roam around your stomach, to the cage of your ribs, just barely grazing along the fabric of your bra as soon as he has finished unbuttoning your blouse. Anticipation rushes through you, your body ever so sensitive to all of his touches while you tried to predict where he is going to touch you next. No words are exchanged when you feel him pulling back, leaving the bed for good.
"Kei?" you ask hesitantly, hearing him shuffle around and arranging some things. "Hmm? You good there?"
"Yes- but come back, Kei. Don't make me wait." You know that you sound desperate, but you can stop replaying different scenarios in your mind when you're tied to the bed like this. He clearly enjoys seeing you go crazy with anticipation. A few more moments of him arranging and rearranging stuff that feel like an eternity to you while you can't see, and you feel his weight dipping down the mattress again.
He's close.
You can't see him, but you can feel him. Feel his presence right next to you, his even and deep breaths, his smell- all of your other senses seem to tell you that he's close. Your body jolts when you suddenly feel his breath on your neck, softly breathing against your skin. "You look so pretty like this." A ragged breath escapes your lips at his words, the sudden softness in his tone adding to the intimacy of the moment.
A sudden cold sensation on your bare stomach makes you squirm. You hadn't noticed that his hands have been busied with something else, and when he presses it harder against you, you whine, feeling the cold wetness drip down to your navel. It lingers a few more moments on your skin, causing you to gasp at the freezing sensation, goosebumps forming on your skin already. You hear an almost metallic sound when the coolness disappears and he puts something away.
"Ok. Tell me what that was." His voice sounds teasing, a smirk adorning his lips for sure. "An ice cube," you reply, trying to sound neutral and put together. "Hmm, really good. I think you deserve a little reward for getting this one right." His lips travel down your collarbones, softly sucking and nibbling on your skin, causing your head to fall back and your toes to curl. His fingers hook into the cups of your bra and pull the fabric down, just enough to free your tits. His tongue softly glides over one of your hard buds, swirling and sucking just enough to make you clench your legs. He pulls back way too soon, your other nub aching for attention too. "Can you guess what's this too?" A soft and light sensation meets your neck, moving along your jaw and down your throat.
You wiggle even more in the ties when the tickling sensation doesn't stop, the soft caress going down to your collarbones, sending shivers down your spine when you can't anticipate where he'd touch you next. "And?" He sounds smug at this point, clearly satisfied when he sees how much you squirm.
"A feather." You sound breathless for sure, but it's simply the effect of the feather now tracing along your exposed breast and moving down your stomach. "You're so good at this, darling."
You ball your hands into fists when he brings his lips to your chest again, replacing the feather with his lips and giving your nipple a soft bite. "Kei-" the sensation so unexpected to you that you moan his name, the sound echoing through the room in a way that makes you burn in embarrassment. "Hmm, what is it?" he answers with his lips still attached to your skin, his voice barely a whisper in the room. "Feels good." Your head is thrown back into the pillows, your back arching your chest into his mouth.
"I'm sure it does." He pulls back, much to your disdain. "Are you ready for the next one?" Tsukishma moves further down, your body jolting when his hands open the button of your pants, slowly pulling them down your legs. You shiver when you're basically lying in front of him in your underwear, a hot wave of need rushing through your body when he hooks his fingers in the hem of your panties. Heat rises to your cheeks when he removes your panties as well, not saying anything, instead, you're only met with nerve-wrecking silence.
"Kei? What are you-" a surprised moan leaves your lips when you feel a soft sensation between your legs- his lips without a doubt, pressing kisses to your already wet folds. Your muscles tense and you involuntarily try to reach for his head, only to be restricted by the tie. His tongue licks along your folds, his nose brushing against your clit, and he has you moaning his name with these few touches already already. The wet noises of his kisses fill the room, your breaths uneven when he pushes his tongue unexpectedly in your entrance. "Oh god- Kei- so good-" you whine when he picks up his pace, licking inside of you with no mercy until he has your thighs clenching around his head. "Yeah? What feels good`? Tell me, darling. Can you guess?"
"Your tongue-" you whine when he rewards you with extra attention to your clit, sucking on the sensitive nub and toying with it with his tongue. Your body is burning from his touches already, eager for more, eager for him to fuck you like this-
"You're so good at this." He presses one last kiss to your pussy, and you feel his weight shifting on the mattress, knowing exactly what he will do next when you hear him fumble with his belt.
"I think you deserve another reward."
#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu fanfiction#haikyuu smut#smut#tsukishima#tsukki#tsukishima smut#tsukishima x reader#here you go! <3#hope you'll enjoy this#I thought about TT#TT equals Teasing Tsukki#like Tsukki teasing you#he would for sure#I'll start with Bokuto's part today#I hope I can finish it tomorrow#SLEEP WELL! <3#I hope you're all having a great week so far! <3#I'm enjoying the last days of my semster breaks#it's 2 am now#and I feel like I ruined my sleeping rhythm >.<#HOWEVER!#I tried proofreading this#but my brain is a bit tired rn#BUT I TRIED
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Have I mentioned lately that creating AUs is the most fun thing ever? You get to take a story you love and then mash it against another type of story you love and fit all their pieces together like they're a jigsaw puzzle. You get to find all the unexpected points of similarity where the stories fit together really well, and see the places where their differences change and make commentary on the original stories/genres in really interesting ways.
And then once you fit the pieces together, you get to look at the new world you've made and see how these characters in this specific world have different conflicts and explore new themes, and you get to play with another level of puzzles as you figure out what this means for this story.
It's the most fun ever. It's my favorite game.
#random thought of the day#adventures in writing#this goes for both fairy tale retellings and for aus of specific shows/novels#this last week was a week for aus#between the north and south sci fi au coming up again#making up a northanger abbey fantasy au#coming up with a new angle for retelling maid maleen#and having tons of new insight in how to rework a story that's a retelling of cinderella and three different austen novels#plus looking back on the powers and prejudice au#this is just such a great game#the moment when the pieces click into place in a way that makes both elements make sense#there's nothing quite as satisfying#to some extent this applies to plotting original fiction#but it's a different feeling when you're making an au of something#because you don't just get to work with malleable clay#you have specific pre-formed pieces#so you get the challenge of figuring out how to fit them together without damaging either one too much#and when you find the way they fit together it makes you appreciate both stories in a new way#plus it makes you feel clever for making the connection#astounding superb wondrous past time
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I miss nier. I have to watch the automata anime
#nier#nier automata#A2#2B#9S#great perfect! what collab was this? or something a cafe event? i dont remember thats how long its been#or was it a clothes collab hold on now i have to find out#IT WAS DON QUIXOTE. you went and got acyrllics shirts cards etc idunno i didnt go these were the designs#it happened in july. that's how long I've had this sketched out? or at last thats how long ive had A2 sketched out#the 2b and 9s were sketched last year in like August. they were wearing the shirts they made in the anime#my motivation died before i could finish especially because i already drew the shirts and class started again i did not want to line#it was the week of dad nier's birthday. this is what was replaced cause i drew dad instead and that took a slot in my art making machine#so when the don quixote collab came out i was like great i already have a base and added A2 in cause i felt bad i never draw her#A2 is my favorite but like. I do not be acting that way#in fact i drew the shirts 3 times cause they had like 3 designs each. but i was just gonna draw the aji o kutta shirt again#cause its my favorite#my life update is ive had two different ppl be like 'you're cool lets be friends i wanna know more about you' and i keep thinking about it#cause that's not...ive got alarm sirens in my head. i make my friends by we keep bumping into each other in class and eventually get lunch#or in the case of my one classmate we came from the same school and had the same classes together for like 3 semesters he was like#are you stalking me like BRO?? i miss him#that or my last friend fed me attention like you might feed a wild deer popcorn in the woods and thats how we got close#so pardon me if im unfamiliar with 'i wanna get to know you' cause that's not. that's not...you want something from me.#i dont have time to make new friends right now though i am drowning in assignments#my current friends already have a hard time getting me to go anywhere. i was supposed to go see Look Back w them but i was so tired#'fed me attention' a better example is getting hearts with someone in harvest moon or stardew valley. im like that
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I noticed you've been making more art of Machete and Vasco after they met again as adults - is this canon? Do they get to rekindle their friendship after all, or is it still brief and bittersweet? (I love your characters and art, btw!)
Thank you! I'm glad you like them!
It's canon, I believe. After their confusing and apprehensive friends-to-lovers involvement ended in their early 20's, their paths end up crossing again unexpectedly in their mid 30's and things gradually grow from there.
#answered#kf-tea#it's not the steadiest alliance#Vasco has been stuck in a forced lavender marriage for nearly a decade but he's out of the closet to his wife by that point#their union is more like close platonic friendship than that of a husband and wife and they're largely comfortable like that#they've agreed to see other people for the common good#they're great parents and keep up the appearances well I don't think anyone suspects anything#in that day and age divorce simply isn't an option especially if you're a public figure and have a family reputation to keep up#Machete obviously isn't permitted to have sentimental or intimate relations of any kind#the two of them live in separate cities so it's more like a sporadic long distance thing#Vasco is a politician and an ambassador so he takes regular business trips to Rome which is convenient#maybe Machete gets to visit him in Florence on occasion but usually it's the other way around#but between those weeks and sometimes months pass#if their relationship lasts until the end they get a good 8-9 years in so I'd say it counts as a committed long term thing for sure#or at least that's the current idea and order of events#Vasco#Machete
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KILL!!!!!!!!!
#my post#this is so mean. why did i make this#but also....... the gun is in your hands now#i'll admit that it's my fault for putting the gun in your hand... however i've no say in what you choose to do with it#will you pull the trigger and accept whatever happens from now on? will you give yourself into the role forced upon you?#no one will know anything if you don't say anything. there will be no consequences or repercussions to this choice#but you will know. and you will need to live with that knowledge for the rest of your life#a gun not fired is like an itch not stratched#in the end i have no control over what you do... but free will is a funny thing#the brain is very susceptible to suggestion... everything we see and experience will remain with us in some way#if that's the case then how much control do we really have in our lives? how do we separate what we really want vs what we're told to want?#things like hunger... desire... they're all things the body asks for. but are they things that we truly want?#or are they merely a mechanism built into us for the sake of survival?#everything blends into everything. your past actions will inform your current actions. you're the only one who's ever lived your life#you're the only one who will ever live your life#little variables and experiences we all share... but the order varies greatly from person to person. everything is just a series of events#the way i see the world is different than the way you see it regardless of how similar they are#what choice will you make now? and how does it differ from the choice you would've made a week ago? a month? a year? does it differ at all?#does free will truly exist? i think it does... but not in the way most people think it exists#you and i... we might differ on that thought. or we might not.#regardless of whatever i've been rambling about right now... refusing to make a choice is still a choice you make. life is ironic like that#does one of them really have to go? that's for you to decide now#i've merely chosen to put the gun in your hand. to make you aware of the possibilities#so i hope you realize what power your choices have#dca fandom#daycare attendant#yeah sometimes i just say things that i think are deep but they're really not#i hope the choices i make have an effect on others. even if it's just one person...#if i can make even just one person think about something they wouldn't have normally thought about then isn't that a win?#life is a series of choices... ''it'd be great if you could see a figure of light by the time you die'' ♡
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collab w/ @astertimberwolf! we did this all over the place lmao, but they mostly did the lineart and me with the coloring!!
#ruby rose#weiss schnee#derg AU#whiterose#white rose#rwby#my art#(part of lol)#ty for your patience 🥺💕#really enjoyed doing this and vibing w/ you heho#coloring still evades my brain though#hope you're having a great day week year and forever uwu
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The poem evokes human greatness and human vulnerability. People are “godlike” in their courage and skill, but even the greatest mortals fall and clutch the dust between their bloody fingers. The beautiful word minunthadios , “short-lived,” is used of both Achilles and Hector, and applies to all of us. We die too soon, and there is no adequate recompense for the terrible, inevitable loss of life. Yet through poetry, the words, actions, and feelings of some long-ago brief lives may be remembered even three thousand years later.
--Emily Wilson's introduction to the Iliad
#so. we've come to the Iliad section in my Early World Literature class. and in that context we're utilizing the public domain translation by#A. S. Kline which made me think: you know what would be extremely fucking cool? since I'm going to have access to the Kline text until#the course closes in December. why don't I at least start the Wilson version and see how the two translations differ? so I'm now reading#The Iliad#as translated by Wilson and performed by the utterly masterful Audra McDonald. or well. I _would be except I'm so delighted. stunned. by#the incisive thought-provokingness of her introduction I keep needing to pause and write down various quotes: just this whole idea of#the poem revolving around how all all our deaths shall come too soon and there is no adequate compensation for that awful fact just FUCK#linguistics#mythology#folklore#fairy tales#lit geekery#book babbling#(oh I am already so fucking deep in this fannish hell and I haven't even really started her translation: like the Kline one is fine. but#it's very focused on *trying* to be Homeric you know? so there are all these very archaic references ala to Apollo#as Smintheus. which I then have to stop and look up oh. that means he's the mouse god and being the mouse god is important because#it ties back to him being an oracular god. which is then why the Greeks want to turn to another oracular god when he gets all pissy at them#and on one level. learning that mice were associated with the power of prophecy? extremely cool shit. on the other. well I have to#read a large chunk of this text in a fucking week Kline my good bud was it really necessary to provide an odd mouse reference I then#needed to find the context for *myself* I can already tell Wilson's tendency to provide context. both in the intro and just in general#wanting to make it readable terms will make this so! much easier of an introduction. (Kline. by contrast. would be really fucking cool if#you were a third-time reader and wanted all the marvelous nuance. just *rubs forehead* not a great intro when you're only focusing on#this text for a fucking week)
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Since same-sex marriage is approved in Thailand, is it possible that Papang and Podd will play the role of daddies? A quiet series of male single parents who fall in love and eventually get married and live with their children. Support role is played by Guy and Pepper, friends of Papang and Podd, who, despite the chemistry and tension, cannot become an official couple in any way, although everyone around them knows that they love each other.
AND WHEN I SAY PODDPAPANG WITH CHOKUN PLAYING FATHERS AND SON FOR GMMTV 2025 THEN WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!
ngl my absolute favorite kind of genre for a quadrumvirate series will probably always be the buddie cop one, but a slice of life where on one hand there are poddpapang trying to navigate married life and figure out how to take care of a teenage son, while on the other there are guypepper who have been friends for years but have fundamentally different views on love and so decided to ignore whatever there could be between them????????? IMMA NEED EVERYONE TO PULL UP AT MY HOUSE IN 5 FOR THE MASS MANIFESTATION PARTY IM ABOUT TO THROW WE'RE GONNA MAKE THIS HAPPEN WITH THE SHEER POWER OF CLOWNERY AND DELUSION
like i know a lot of people don't like to use the word 'old' for them because, objectively, despite all my grandma jokes, a person in their 30s is very much NOT old, but god. the way i would LOVE to have these four actors actually play their age as a friend group made entirely of queer men facing their own struggles with love. thankfully BLs aren't limited to school settings anymore and yet even when characters have jobs, most of them seem to not be allowed to get past their 20s, so i NEED a show like this. and chokun could also be used as a way to show the generational gap between queer people who have grown up in a society shunning them vs queer people who are growing up in a society that's giving them equal rights!!!!!!
not that i would really trust GMMTV with this but still. HOLDING EVERYONE IN THAT EXECUTIVE BOARD ROOM AT GUN POINT UNTIL THEY GIVE IT TO US
#i wasn't sure if i should keep the generational gap part because im afraid people would say im exaggerating but#believe me when i say 16 years old me lived in a wildly different society#which obviously isn't to say everything is perfect now#far from it#but yeah#ANYWAY#THANK YOU FOR SHARING THIS ANON I LOVE YOUR VISION#hope you're gonna have a great start of the week!!!!!! 💜#poddpapang#papang phromphiriya#podd suphakorn#quadrumvirate#chokun puttipong#m: ask
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i don't talk about him a lot on here but a couple years ago i got a beta fish which i so sweetly named sebass-tian hamil-fin. i'd never had a fish before but at the time, since i wasn't in my apartment a lot, a fish was really the only thing i could care for. unfortunately, he passed away today.
i didn't think i'd be this upset by it because i could kind of tell over the past week or two that he wasn't doing too well. i tried my best to make him feel better but unfortunately, it wasn't enough.
i plan to go and get another fish tomorrow but i just...don't really know how to feel about it right now. he was my first fish and certainly won't be my last.
#tw animal death#cw animal death#i do recognize that i gave him a better quality of life than being on some pet store shelf in a small container#but this still isn't easy to take. i know he wasn't doing well and i tried my best dammit. i really did.#the shittiest part is that it really is my fault. you're supposed to change the tank water every two weeks or so and i just...i couldn't#whether it be work or depression or executive function i just usually got to it around four weeks#and the water just wasn't healthy at that point. so i'm really kind of beating myself up for it because by the time i realized it#it was too late. but wow did that little guy fight. he survived a move with me! i didn't move him properly in any way shape or form#and yet he did it. anyway. i've expected this every day for the last week or two but it was just confirmed and it really hit me#i've just been sitting here crying because i loved him but also! idk i just needed some company at first ya know?#not to sound like. detached from the situation but like...it really was an experiment? bc i never owned a fish before and wanted to see#if i could actually do it and i'm so so glad i did#he was a beautiful fish and i appreciated his company because beta's are actually pretty smart and usually grow to recognize you.#i lovingly joked with one of my friends that seabass was in hospice the past few weeks so truthfully i know i did what i could#but it was also realistically a learning experiment. now i know how to properly take care of a fish and the next seabass will have a great#experience and tank already ready for him. anyway if you've read this far gold star! i'm gonna log off now#i’m rambling again aren’t i
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oh fugk guys don giovanni day is coming up. i should stream
#sasha speaks#oct 29#yes i know its a tuesday#BUT I DONT HAVE WORK ON TUESDAYS THIS SEMESTER!#SERENDIPITY!#also very appropriate for the halloween season.#anyway i want to celebrate. stay tuned#don giovanni#opera tag#and yes. it Will be the production you're expecting me to put on.#unless either wolf trap drops their vid or there is a great outcry among the spectators for another prod#but lbr i rarely get input on these thangs so i have to make the decisions for myself#well cross that bridge when we get there i suppose still a few weeks out
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#nothing makes me truly reaffirm my commitment to being poly like the day after a rugby match#i love my bf. i love them wholly and truly for who they are. i dont want them to change outside of healing. y'know that being the best you.#but i dont want them to be someone else. so the fact theyre not a coddling caregiver isnt something I'm ever going to change in them.#they bring me coffee and check in on me and set reminders for my meds and tell me when they have to leave for errands with mum#but they always have to see to other responsibilities because they are that person.#and I love them for that. i love them for being a dutiful son and a pragmatic foreman who prepares for the week.#what does this have to do with polyam james you may ask? well ill tell you-#im learning as i have been for a while now#that as i am a chief caregiver for many ppl in my life including bf and now the ruggers (im a board member)#i deeply deeply DEEPLY want/need care when im in crisis or at a low point and theres no low point quite like post match#when your systems are coming down from adrenaline and everything fuckin hurts like hell and whats worse you're injured#im not good at being taken care of i acknowledge that. but to be coddled and handled with care rn?#have someone to sit with me and make me food and eat with me and help me stay tethered and hold me a bit and smoke with me#idk not even in a sex sense just to be held and cared for#thats why poly am is a thing for me. i love my partners and I dont want to change them i dont want to force all this on them#certain needs can be met by certain ppl in certain ways etc but love is love it is always love its just shown differently#as i was writing this bf called to say he was bringing home nonalc beer for me. i know he loves me. i know he cares. it's just different.#tbd im so very tired and achy and weepy today dont mind me#the match was great for the squad but im not thrilled with myself#hence wanting to curl up in a hole and not come out
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SCREMS my snautsticic child he is trying ok!!!!!! one tiny snake human hybrid built from the cave-ground-up, , attempting to learn all the implicit rules of humanness?! as if it isn't already tough enough out here!!!!
#ALL he has to work off of is the Great Serpent's memories? fuzzy clips of ppl he might have seen or interacted with??#depending on the kind of snake he was he could have a variety of defense mechanisms#he could have had to suppress his hissing instinct. or maybe he contorted his body in that adorably vertical corn snake way when he scared#big baby eyes trying to mimic the ppl around him but they are busy being judgemental#so many stupid little human things that villagers try to explain to him as “that's just the way it is” or “never really thought about why”#and yakumo just stares in disbelief bc how could u have never thought about the concept of goosebumps#you're telling me ur skin turns into plucked-bird-skin when you're cold or frightened and that is completely mundane?#you're telling me that when ppl try to hug you it is NOT because they want to strangle u to death and eat u????#how much strength am i supposed to put into a hug then. NOT bone crushimg??????#WHAT EMOTION IS THIS GESTURE SUPPOSED TO CONVEY#the tags tho#now imagining blade and yakumo shaking hands and discussing “why are humans such funky lil guys and why do they do the things they do”#several of the non-humans gather in a monthly meeting like:#on today's agenda: WTF is kissing. why are they smashing their food holes together.#one week they bring in a guest human (edmond?) and ask him all of humanity's big questions from non-human POV#and edmond's just like ??? i don't know???!?!??#and eberyone throws up their arms in frustration bc if humans don't make sense to the humans then what are we supposed 2do#nu carnival yakumo
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