#and that we all work so so hard to achieve things and we aren't alone in that

[into-the-voiddddd]

"Our dawn is hotter than day" - seventeen

[the-tarot-witch22]

Love letter from your future spouse 💌 - Pick a pile

Note : *Some intense se*ual messages for you guys too, soo minors DNI*

Pile 1/Pile 2

Pile 3/ Pile 4

Hello everyone ! This is my another pick a pile or pac reading so please be kind and leave comment or reblog, and let me know if it resonated with you!

Note : This is a general reading or collective reading. It may or may not resonate with you. Please take what resonates and leave what doesn't. And it's totally okay if our energies aren't aligned!

How to pick : Take a deep breath and choose a pile which you feel most connected to!

Note : This reading is based on my intuition and channeled messages from tarot cards.

I worked really hard on this pile please show some love by leaving comments, likes and reblogs!

*Buy me a kofi*

Pile 1

(The cards I got ace of pentacles, ace of cups, 2 of cups, page of cups, and the fool)

Hello my dearest,

What can I say? I didn't even meet you and yet I still miss you. Am I going mad, my love? I am working towards my goal and I have almost everything i need at the moment but why do I still feel that longing and sadness, am I insane for this? my life has been okay, I work or study and do what needs to be done, but is it weird to say i am searching for you? I hope you feel the same way… sometimes i dream of you or have that romantic dreams where you are there and when i wake up… nothing? It's making me lose my mind, i can't really talk about it with everyone, they will or might think i am just desperate for some shit, but i am not i want something serious, i want you. I have fun too i sometimes go out with my friends we laugh together, but still when I look at them or when they talk about their lovers or text them in front of me, i just miss you.. Am i being too much? probably but i wanted to tell of this to you, I feel like i need some rest or space from everything or just go somewhere where i can be alone with my and your thoughts, but the responsibilities are holding me back , I wish you were here to hold me and tell me everything will be okay. Sometimes I feel like we make some telepathic or some sort of connection and i feel that intense vibrations in my body, I haven't even met you and here I am being vulnerable, But i know you will love this side of me, will you not? I also want to tell you you're doing great and you will achieve everything you have dreamt of please take proper care of yourself, I wanna meet you soon, and have the love , fun i never experienced or had, You know love, what's funny thing is? I never had something serious or people had just taken advantage of me, but you without even meeting you, i can tell you are what i need. Please be patient for me, universe is in work and they will help us meet at divine timing and I can't wait for it. Until then, my love.

Phew so intense they had a lot to say to you, and they seem so sweet, don't they? i wish you meet them soon.

Pile 2:

(the cards I got 3 of cups, the star, 5 of cups and king of cups)

hey ;)

Hello my star, what are you up to nowadays? Are you having fun without me? wait don't answer me that i might get jealous over it, what's wrong with me I am not scaring you away am I? I tend to speak my mind, and show what I feel, because that's how I am. But sincerely tho, i hope you are having fun and celebration and you are enjoying your life, you know this is what we should do? Like just enjoy our times, I know how hectic life can get and we all deserve the break, so do it for you don't let anyone tell you that you are not doing enough because my star , you are and i already swooning over here from the thoughts of you, would you like to hear about my life too? I will tell you what I am doing nowadays, I had lost something precious to me, I know not a way great way to start a conversation right? But i wanna tell you, I lost something, i hate that I did, but to be honest? If it leads me to you , then i am willing to sacrifice anything for it, i wish we could meet sooner, but i know this distance this gap between us only increase our love towards each other, because distance makes heart grows fonder right? Now I wont deny when I lost that thing I was sad and even cried, But now I am healing and your thoughts are helping me? Do you miss me too at the same time? and wonder what we could have been doing if we were together? Because I do. Always. It's not even funny at this point. Gosh your thoughts make me feel all romantic thoughts, you are such a tease by the way hiding away and making desperate for you, don't you worry my star , I will take my revenge when I meet you, sweet revenge, I will tease you so much that you will regret meeting me late, Don't worry I am just kidding, i tend to get intense sometimes, but your thoughts are responsible they make me like this. But right now I am working towards something I am saving money for us our future and maybe kids too? Well, its a conversation for later… But if you don't want kids we can always have pets, right? I want to give you the world, and care for you so much for you. Now, I have to go… Duty calls, but remember I miss you, and I love you even if we haven't met yet.

Pile 2 your fs sounds like a total flirt and a good person, and I love it for you! You guys deserve it <3

Pile 3:

the cards I got (knight of wands, 9 of wands, 3 of wands, 8 of wands)

Hello sexy wanderer,

Do you know what kind of thoughts, I have for you? You my sexy wildcat, you are a pure goddess and you are so beautiful, and what can I say i have such dreams for you, I just wanna tear off your clothes, i will just leave it at that, You feel like a dream come true. Wherever I go I imagine having intense intimate moments with you, and I don't even know why, such a hold you have on me, and guess what we haven't even met yet. I have to say so much to you but i will hold out for now, I don't wanna scare you away, but its totally opposite I don't wanna scare you away but i also want to impress you, I wanna have enjoy small moments with you. I would like to make out and show everyone who you actually love. Not them who stares at your beauty or just wanna have fun with you but me, you chose me, i will show that I am a proud men, and worthy of you, right now I am travelling to far away lands I like doing that you know, but i am gonna coming to meet you soon. And you believe me when i say i will sweep you off your feet and give everything you are worthy of. See you soon.

Wow, they seem too passionate, and you know what? Good for you guys! Their message was short but their energy? give me a fan right now because I need it! They are definitely fire sign and love travelling, and their sexual drive? HIGH. They gave me so much hot kind of energy, I love it for you guys, i totally see you both meeting soon!

Pile 4 :

(the cards I got 4 of pentacles, the magician, ace of wands, strength, The Hermit, 6 of cups, 3 of pentacles)

Sweetheart? Once, we meet I am not letting you go ever, But i will make sure you know that I deserve you, I might make mistakes here and there, but that's just me being foolish or silly, but I never intend to fight with you or hurt you, You know I am a bit overprotective, but if you don't like that I am willing to change my ways for you, Right now there is so much work pressure on me, i feel overwhelmed so I decided to talk with you, even though we are not in each other's lives right now, I feel I can talk to you about anything you make me feel safe like i can be myself, i never had that, it was always me making efforts, but with you i can feel we are each other's light, and I wish we cross each other's path soon, right now i am enjoying my alone time, I am not dating around, I am waiting for you sweetheart, and I have a feeling we will know we are the ones for each other. I feel we have known each other in past lives or we might have each cross each other's path, but that time timing might not be right, And we both needed to learn some lessons before we meet again, and honestly? I'd like that. I wanna be the best men for you. I love you, and for you I am willing to fight anything or anyone, Some people think i am workaholic, but they don't know what I feel, or who i feel for the person i feel for is you, you make me wanna be a better man, i wish there wasn't this much wait for us to meet, I have so much to tell you, Sometimes I end up fighting with my close ones, I regret it, I am a very calm person but when someone provokes me? I can't take it. I am working on that too. And that's why we are having our self journey's together and let's meet at our best, sweetheart. Till then remember I am here waiting for you and trying to be a best person who deserves you. I love you my sweetheart.

Okayyyy, very masculine and hardworking energy, they or you might be spiritual too, you meeting will be for the best, for some of you i feel friends to lovers trope going to be here, your man sounds so sweet yet tired. But he is doing his best, you guys got a gem.

Thank you for stopping by! Take care and remember you are loved <3

[harleehazbinfics]

Can We? an au lucifer x reader oneshot

Author Profile a/n: SURPRISEEEEEE. i got 'we become we' -journey to jerusalem song on a loop since i found it and i knew i wasn't gonna get it out of my system unless i do something about it. so pls enjoy my ramblings lmfao word count: 1200+

"Your Majesty, please reconsider this! Our kingdom needs a Queen!"

Lucifer sighs at the aide's words, feeling irritated with the insistent suggestion of a Queen.

"I agree, your majesty. The people are quite worried for you. You need an heir, and you aren't getting any younger either," another aide jumps in.

Lucifer surrenders to them with hands in the air in exasperation and finally replies, "Fine."

The people in the room sigh in relief that they somehow got through to him. But hitch their breath when he adds on.

"However, I won't just choose anyone. Only the best candidate will stand by my side and be rightfully called the Queen," he glares.

"Good day, your majesty. My name is (full name), Princess of the Eastern Kingdom. I'm grateful for this opportunity," you smile amiably.

"Likewise," he responds quite honestly shocked from your tone.

You were the guest that was expected to arrive at the palace after receiving the invitation to be a Queen candidate. However, after word got around that you will be joining the fight for the title. All the ladies mutually agreed to resign. When he asked why, all the aide's replies were, "There is no other person worthy to be by your side other than the Princess."

Now, you stood in front of him. You were dressed beautifully, but not as extravagant as those ladies that came before him. You had a melodic tone in your voice that was pleasant to the ear. Your hands folded together gracefully. Everything about you was enchanting.

You tilt your head confused about his speechlessness. "Did I catch you in the wrong time?" you ask him.

His cheeks reddened, embarrassed that you left him dazed just from your introduction alone.

"No no," he excuses then coughs to get a grip on himself, "I apologize. I must have been tired from all the work this morning."

You give him an understanding smile and reply, "No apologies needed, your majesty. I feel honored to be here and see how hard you work. I'm sure this kingdom is grateful to have such a diligent King."

His blush intensifies from your non-stop flattery. He's heard many compliments in his life for his achievements. However, when you were the one saying those words. He can't help but believe it was all true with how genuine you sounded.

"Please, I'm quite embarrassed to hear such words from you, Princess. I've heard many tales of your acts of charity for your and other neighboring kingdoms. You've paved the way for others to follow in your example and gave a chance for the poor, homeless and orphaned," he redirected trying to calm his flaring cheeks.

He was pleasantly surprised at your reaction.

"P-Please! You've heard of that? Oh, I'm embarrassed! I hope only good thing reached your ears," you stumbled over your words when the attention turned back to you.

He laughs at you as you tried to hide behind your hair as you also flushed red. 'For someone, who gives out so many compliments. She can't even handle a couple of her own.'

'This wasn't such a bad idea,' he thought as he watched as you smile and continue talking to him.

"(Y/n), can I ask you something?" he says sitting at the edge of the bed where you sat beside while reading a book.

It had been several weeks since your marriage and it's been quite busy for the both of you as you adjusted to your married life. Lucifer finished paperwork for his projects and formal preparations for your ascension to your rights as the new Queen. Thankfully, it had finally calmed down and now you helped him with his work and even the inner management of the castle.

You have shared the room since the beginning, and you've already shared your first night as husband and wife together. Which was.. quite passionate to say the least. But, after both of you would wake up earlier or later than the other, too considerate to wake up the other from their well-earned rest. So, now that it has finally calmed down and Lucifer approached you. You couldn't help but feel nervous.

"Of course, anything," you reply putting away the book and taking his hand in yours.

He smiles and gains courage as he caresses your hand back and says, "Are you okay with this arrangement?"

You tilt your head unsure of the meaning, "About what?"

"This," he gestures to the both of you, "are you okay about our marriage?"

You huff out a laugh relieved, you thought it was a life or death situation, "Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?"

He shrugs and replies, "I don't know. I just thought you were having doubts about us."

You give him a meaningful look and stood up from your spot. You then tugged him to stand with you. You made him hold your waist and hand while you placed yours on his shoulder. You led him into a slow dance with a smile on your face.

"Remember, our dance together?" you asked.

"At the wedding?" he asks.

You shook your head and laughed, "We danced one together way before that. That night where we shared the stars together."

His eyes lit up, remembering that night.

"During that dance, I thought that being with you will be worthwhile. And if wherever this choice leads me. I won't regret being with you, Lucifer," you say with a deep look in your eyes.

His eyes soften as he gazed at you. You were nothing but wonderful to him, it was childish of him to assume you were having doubts. He should have trusted you and made you happy instead. You deserve nothing less than that.

"Can we become more Than half of a union we're chosen for?"

He sings as he pulls you closer to him.

"Where I am your best half And I am yours,"

You continue with a huge smile on your face as you followed his lead, gliding around the room.

"Stuck here forever And hopefully not ending in estrangement,"

You sang together faces inching towards each other with half lidded eyes.

"Can mine become yours Combining our dreams Without keeping score?"

You twirled around the room with him catching you. He opens the door and leads you out into the halls where you continued your dance.

"Always together, but never bored No choice in the matter but This will never work without each other,"

The both of you laugh like children as you chased each other down the halls.

"Can we become we? (Can we become we?) Start a new line on this family tree,"

He catches up to you and lifts you off the ground and kisses your cheek with a hearty chuckle from your deviousness.

"Two hearts connected by one beat, Your hand in mine and,"

You beam him a smile as you placed your hands on his chest feeling the rhythmic thumping of his heart from chasing you around.

"I could never choose to love another," Lucifer whispers as he pulls you into a kiss which you return with fervor.

After minutes of kissing one another, he places you down and hold your waist as places another kiss on your temple with a beaming smile. You return it and let him lead you back to your room.

"Maybe one day I can learn to love you, too," you whisper as you gave a passing gaze at the portrait of a blonde woman with her face covered with a large cloth.

Other Lucifer Fics:

@bonnie-02 @marxo5 @whaatttlaufey @froggybich @rybunnie @midorichoco @bontensbabygirl @janey @akiqvq @wonderlandangelsposts @spoiled-slutt @preciousbabypeter @roboticsuccubus83 @simbalioness @reachthestars @atlas-rin @manachpo@luc1fersducky @lovestruck-enby @azullynxx @delightedtosee @cherry-4200 @aria-tempest @lvstyangel @0strawberrysorbet0 @corvid007 @kaminarithebest @whydosnakesnotdance @psychoanalyze0 @sweetadonisbutbetter @lunalily19 @dionysusismypatrongod @skyeliteratures @sappire904

[yinwaryuri]

Seeing a lot of upset posts about how the show ended with Boston and feeling like something really went over a few heads. Do I also believe Boston deserved better? Yes. But let's be realistic in the way Jojo and Ninew approached this.

Boston and his promiscuity have been the target of harsh judgements from episode one. And the writers have stated that he has a moral code, it's just very different from others. I was never expecting him to state it outright, that it would just be a thing worth paragraphs of speculative meta, but he does!

Boston stated his definition of boyfriend. If he wants to be exclusive, that's for all the emotional bonding that he desires with someone special, but does not deny him the ability to fulfill his physical desires with whomever he wishes. That's not just polyamory, it's a very specific kind!!! And it's entirely different from the traditional sort of relationship society has accepted. The thing is, he wouldn't have discovered that possibility without knowing Nick.

Boston did genuinely fall for Nick. But how could he have handled that properly when he has no experience being loved and has never learned how to love someone back? Moreover, how could he come to the conclusion that he likes being exclusive in one way but not another without absolutely fumbling the bag with someone who's on a different page? It's not exactly Nick's fault that he prefers physical affection to be exclusive as well, that's just how he is. There couldn't have been any discussion about this, it was a discovery in the making.

The truth is Boston would still have a hard time finding happiness in Thailand due to the political climate, especially with his father being a politician. He's gay and that alone makes achieving his dreams more difficult, but being as promiscuous as he is means even a majority of the queer community will shut him out. He's better off moving to the states where at least he has rights and better acceptance for who he is. And that's what happened.

Because having a sexual or romantic appetite outside of monogamy is still looked down on. I still see it in the BL fandom. I see it just in general. 3 Will Be Free is so often cited as a must-watch, but how many people stick to their comfort branded pairings?* How many people have made or heard jokes about the "Seattle polycule"? How many romantic aces and allosexual aros get othered and excluded and judged for their identity?

Jojo said there was no intended message, but that doesn't mean there isn't one to be found. Boston's arc is a prime example of how slutty queers get treated even by their own peers, even by people who care about them most. It's a cry from the cold and lonely dark that if we think these people deserve better, we need to change existing paradigms and find how we can give them that!

Nick wasn't prepared to do that because he is still hurting, and that's also okay. Not everyone has to change themselves to make the puzzle pieces fit. Boston and Nick's story centers around that so much. Nick being jealous and trying to copy Top, Boston trying to be what he thinks a boyfriend is - they only hurt each other because the parts that don't fit are digging in.

I hope we get a second season, but if not friends, remember Boston. He represents such a particular demographic that gets hated on and ignored constantly, and they deserve a chance. They're not easy, but that doesn't mean they're not worth it. Remember Nick too. We all have a Nick in some manner - someone that made us want to try, but no matter how much we cared for each other it just wasn't going to work. Family, friends, partners, whoever.

Instead of being outraged with the show, be outraged with society. Do something about it. Be kinder. Community is important, now more than ever. I cannot possibly overstate how much we need community, especially among minorities.

*this isn't meant to be judgmental toward fans who prefer branded pairings or aren't interested in that particular show. I know watching anything requires time and energy and scratching a certain itch at the right moment. It is, however, a concern that so many fans complained about numerous aspects of OF to the point where the creators went to the effort of explaining themselves on a weekly basis and editing certain parts to avoid backlash. I mentioned 3 Will Be Free because it's another example of Jojo's work. Many BL fans have heard of it, but only a small portion seem to have watched, and that can be an indicator of certain biases. This is not to imply anyone who hasn't seen it has said biases and is only intended to encourage reflection if needed.

[autisticlifelessons]

Tips for boosting driving confidence in Autistic people

For some autistic people, myself included, driving anxiety can be really detrimental to your ability to get around and be independent. However, this year (10 years after starting to learn and 9 years after passing my test lol), I have been working hard to improve my confidence and whilst I still have a ways to go, my anxiety isn't nearly as bad as it was and I've driven places I would never have dreamed of this time last year.

The following tips are aimed at autistic people, but I think they'll apply to anyone who considers themselves a nervous driver.

Practice makes perfect! - if something makes you super anxious, the natural thing to do is avoid it if at all humanly possible, right? Well, it might make you feel relief in the moment, but over time this just reinforces your anxious thoughts and can make it harder and harder to break the cycle. As much as it sucks, the key thing is to just. keep. driving. Start with just short journeys on familiar roads and build it up from there. The more situations you encounter the more your skills will improve. For various reasons - including issues with visual processing and sensory overload - it's natural that some autistic people take longer to feel comfortable and confident at doing something, so just keep working at it and you'll slowly but surely notice a difference.

Leave yourself plenty of time - being late is a massive trigger for me, so if I find myself in a situation where I have to drive somewhere in a tight time frame it really freaks me out. Give yourself plenty of time to get where you need to go, so you know you have wriggle room if there's unexpected road closures or if you make a wrong turn. This is especially important if you're going somewhere unfamiliar as you will probably already be anxious about this. Plus, if you arrive early you will have some time to regulate/decompress yourself in preparation for whatever you have planned.

Set out your boundaries - Ok driving alone but having people in car with you sends you into a flat spin? That's fine - say no to passengers for a while and then if you feel ready have a trial run with someone you know will be kind and supportive. Equally, if you find having someone in the car with you is reassuring, that can be a big help - just be sure they understand you are feeling anxious so they don't pressure you to go routes you aren't ready for. Also, some people are overconfident in their driving abilities and may try to get you to do things that are unsafe - don't listen to them! Trust your own judgement.

Set a goal - having something specific to work for can help motivate you and give you a measure of your confidence improving. Maybe you want to drive to an out of town shopping centre, or take a road trip with a friend? Just make sure your goal is realistic and you give yourself a big pat on the back once you achieve it.

Practice self compassion - driving is stressful for some people and that's totally ok. I've accepted that while I can safely get from A to B, I'm probably never someone who is going to want to drive for fun. Remember, you are in charge of your life, no one else. Whilst I'm ok driving short distances, if I have to go to another city I would always opt for public transport if at all available. I know it'll make the whole thing much less stressful for me (and is better for the environment, too). Also, if you've been trying for a while but driving just isn't for you, that's totally ok, too! It sucks that the way our society is built means not having access to your own car is inconvenient at best, but remember we all have different strengths and weaknesses, and deciding not to drive doesn't make you a failure. You can bet the minute I can get hold of a (reliable and affordable) self-driving car, my life will be made so much easier!

And there you have it! I do hope my tips brought you some comfort or reassurance if this is something you've been struggling with. Remember, these tips are what have helped me personally - I am not a driving (lol) or medical professional, and I certainly don't claim to speak for all autistic people.

Your support is hugely appreciated xx

[yuseirra]

Commentary on Ai and Kamiki's character

I just can't shut up about them, can I? Since the new chapter will be dropping in just a few days from now (and I personally think there will be more reveals) this is probably going to be my last chance to discuss about them before things get clarified and set in stone once and for all (since we NEED to learn about just what HAS been going on about Ai's bf and his motives!! It's going to be shown to us in this final arc, right)

Here's how I feel about Ai/Kamiki as a character so far from all the things I've seen about them. Let's see how much of it will stand by the end of this manga(and/or the upcoming chapters)

I think they're well-written/would be well-written. I like how Ai's written for one thing, and Kamiki's past made a lot of sense to me, I think it can add on to something really interesting. I thought I got where it's going to get at.. that's why I've been drawing them so much since the latest chapter... hope I will be able to retain this interest and passion because having something to be excited and inspired about is a wonderful thing!

The following post was originally written in a different language and translated in bulk by ChatGPT! Thanks, ChatGPT..; you're a lifesaver

I wasn't meaning to translate these posts at first so that's why they weren't written in English but I feel it'd be such a waste to leave these.. I'd love to share it with everyone! 'v')9

There might be various changes when the next episode comes out... so if it's going to be uploaded, it seems right to do it now.

I'm writing a lot, like light writing (when I focus on something, I think about it a lot), and it might decrease or, depending on the situation, increase when the next episode comes out. There's nothing revealed yet, so I end up thinking a lot.

I think Ai is really a strong person. To survive in the entertainment industry, there must be so many things to think about. When I see that character, I think about those things. Although she has a soft side, she fundamentally seems like a character who lives really hard. Thinking about it, she was young herself, yet she protected her boyfriend and helped him escape from his abuser. She endured quite firmly under tremendous stress.

She's the type to bear everything alone... There are many things she endures, and in that situation, she worked hard to reach the top, and she wanted to be a good mother to her children. The most heartbreaking thing for me in this character's dialogue was when she said in her dying breath, "I wasn't a very good mother, but I still think it was good that I gave birth." That was so sad to me. I thought that was the saddest part. She had many thoughts. I noticed she thought she had to earn a lot to provide good education and conditions for her children. Middle school kids aren't necessarily shallow in thought, and while there's a range between people, I felt they were still serious and mature considering their age.

For a character like her, if she were in front of me, I would want to say that she's amazing and went through a lot of hardship. Before pointing out what she did wrong or lacked, I'd like to acknowledge that she lived with a lot of effort and loved those around her. Ai's efforts were not just for herself, but she had a rather humble character, and it seemed her motivation to strive was significantly for the happiness of those around her. Like when she wasn't sure if a dome concert was such a big deal but then thought it must be good since it was the president couple's dream, and she smiled along with them. For this character, what's important is resolving the curiosity about the lack in her heart, and achievements as an idol seemed secondary. That's why her saying she wanted to live with Kamiki and raise children together struck me, because for Ai, being an idol felt more like a means than an end. That doesn't mean she didn't try hard; she seemed like a responsible person who strives to meet expectations in her work.

Ai is a character who, through hard work, perseverance, and talent, eventually gets what she wants. Ai has a great curiosity and desire for areas she doesn't know well. She knows what she doesn't know but has the tenacity to not give up until the end. I think that's a strong aspect of her.

As for Kamiki, since it's unclear what his plans are at the current point in time (although I have a guess), if I were to describe the impression of him until just before he separated from Ai,

He's simply pitiful. He self-deprecatingly said that his relationship with Ai was one where he was unilaterally dependent on her. While he might have depended on her a lot, it seems Kamiki had to endure alone until the point they met. He grew up in such a broken situation that I don't even want to deeply think about what it must have been like... From what we see, it seems he wasn't just harmed by one person. Ai had President Ichigo at least worrying about her, and people to take care of her children when they were born, but Kamiki didn't seem to have a proper guardian at all. His exceptional looks might have made his situation even worse. He was just left alone in the world, and it wasn't just being alone, he had to endure all the malice and exploitation by himself.

You know how some adults appear in the movie arc, like Kaburagi and Kindaichi? This shows that the adults failed to protect the kids. The adults might have been busy with their own lives, but I don't think they can be entirely absolved of responsibility for the kids being in such situations.

Anyway, in that situation, Ai appeared to Kamiki, and I think Kamiki couldn't help but love Ai, who understood, accepted, and loved him more than anyone else. Ai also saved him. The fact that he sought help from someone only a year older than himself shows how vulnerable he was. It's just so heartbreaking. He must have liked Ai a lot... Fortunately, they connected emotionally, and Ai also liked him and wanted to help him. But Ai was powerless. Until just before she had her children, I think Ai tried her best in her own way. When Kamiki came to her, completely broken and crying, she took him in because she wanted to help him somehow.

But it’s sad that Ai couldn't even rely on her boyfriend... This really needs to be shown from Ai’s perspective too. She became Kamiki's emotional support, but it seems Kamiki couldn't do the same for her. However, I think Ai’s defensive nature also played a part... She absolutely didn't want to show weakness. She was a perfectionist. The others also played a part in this, as shown in the song IDOL. she was pressured by those around her to not forgive herself for not being perfect, so she couldn't let herself crumble or break down.

Still, Ai must have really liked her boyfriend. From the content of the video, it seems she was more worried about him getting better rather than feeling it was hard to help him. If she left a request to her children because she couldn't do it alone, that means she truly loved him. Asking her children for a personal favor about her boyfriend (even though he is biologically their father) shows that she was deeply concerned. (There’s a reason she left the request to her grown children; asking when they were young wouldn't have been fair, and adults are supposed to help children, not the other way around. For Ai, anything related to Kamiki was a lingering concern.)

I've drawn this couple a lot recently, not only because of Fatal being.. really obvious to me?? that it should be Kamiki's feelings and that it clicked and let EVERYTHING make sense but also because it’s confirmed that Ai loved Kamiki a lot too. Considering this, I think the storyline is not fully revealed yet. Kamiki is someone Ai desperately wanted to help, borrowing the strength of the protagonists, even. This is revealed not at the beginning but at the very end, indicating his significance. That must mean there are some things that we'll be able to find redeemable about him. Or at least, he must be a character who evokes a lot of sympathy.

Looking at this narrative, if Kamiki is willing to do anything for Ai, it makes a lot of sense. I was holding off on judging the depth of Ai's feelings until that video scene (you see how careful I'm about it in the analysis I've made about Ai), but it’s been clear that he was truly happy with her on his end. When I saw the lyrics for Fatal, I immediately knew it was from his perspective... it’s clear he has deep feelings about her. The emotions in the song matched, so I looked into the song's content, and it was quite unsettling, giving me the strong impression that he took a wrong path. His character was exactly as I thought, so I wasn’t surprised. He suits well with Ai. Isn't the younger version of him, really soft?? Ai isn’t the type to be dragged around. If she had a boyfriend who's younger than she was, she would have acted like a big sister. If he had been older, it might have had a different sort of dynamic, but at their first meeting, he was even smaller than Ai, so instead of her being swayed, I figured he'd have been the one drawn to her. Seeing Ai hide who the father of her children was, yet genuinely loving them purely, suggests that she wanted to protect him. Their relationship must have been good. The calls felt like Ai had the upper hand. However, you can't predict when someone will snap, so until his appearance, it was all speculation. But everything turned out as expected, along with the emotions they had regarding each other.

I don't know the current state of this character, but it feels like something significant has happened. Because of that, there's been a drastic change about him, but it's clear that this character really loves Ai. I keep mentioning it, but from the character's perspective, it couldn't have been any other way. So, I thought, "Wow... the writing was well done." The key point is how far Kamiki can go with such deep feelings and how it might become distorted, deviate, or turn into a mix of love and hate, depending on how it's handled.

At least, as the lyrics suggest, he loves her to the extent that he would do anything he can. I believe that has been made clear, so I think the development will inevitably go that way.

His past is just so miserable that I want to hug him and tell him he suffered a lot. Both him and Ai. And I want to arrange for them to be protected by adults who can give them lots of love and care in a clean, good environment. It’s no wonder Kamiki felt like there was no one in the world but him and Ai, which is such a sad situation... But there must be lonely kids like them out there. I hope those kids can receive the love they deserve.

I was actually a bit interested in the area of social welfare. However, it’s a very tough path, so I didn't dive so deep into it... While reading the manga, my thoughts wandered in that direction because the characters were in such vulnerable states. This sort of situation isn't 100% fiction.

I once did volunteer work in education, and honestly, the kids who have gone through tough times are much more mature and resilient than I am... They know things I don’t, and I believe that. But they are still young. It’s not about underestimating or dismissing them; at that age, they shouldn't be experiencing such things... It's an age when they should be receiving love.

In my opinion, the likelihood of major character inconsistencies or setting errors with the protagonist’s parents is quite low. The scenes they get are significant but short, so the characters are likely to come out as initially planned. And honestly, how cunning or wicked can two middle school kids be? This isn’t pure fantasy; the manga heavily borrows from reality. So, I liked how their past was revealed in this manner. The key is how things will unfold next, and it’s hard to predict completely.

When I first heard the song IDOL, I immediately thought, "Oh, this character is really struggling." (I mention this a lot but) I can't claim to understand everything since I haven't led such a turbulent life, but I still felt sorry for them. If I were in that character's position, I don't know if I could have lived as earnestly... However, when considering why the character made such choices, I can sense that it seems to come from their own efforts and concerns. Many situations arose consecutively, and I think Ai, as a character, tried her best within them.

And Kamiki is really something else. When he was breaking up with Ai, I didn’t mention much about what he heard, but Ai is really sharp. Even if she didn’t know what the consequences would be later, she said exactly what she needed to achieve her desired result (Kamiki leaving her). It wasn’t cursing, but the words were very cruel. I predicted that he wouldn’t be able to hold onto Ai when they broke up, even before the episode was revealed... LOL. But he ended up hearing such devastating words that he couldn't say anything back and was just left dumbfounded. Those words must have really hurt. I even felt emotionally wounded along with him! Ai is truly remarkable... When you watch the video, you can see that she really loved him, but to be able to say such things to someone she cared about... I don’t think I could do that because it would break my heart. As I mentioned when analyzing Ai, she just did what she thought was the best. She didn’t like herself very much, so it was more important to protect him from the burden of being with her than worrying about him hating her.

Kamiki, on the other hand, talked about those words to his son, saying, "Ai left me because she found out what I did, and it was natural and unavoidable." He has no anger. His self-esteem is very low, and he feels very sad. Although he mentioned that Ai had selfish and cruel sides, the first thing he feels is self-loathing... He believes it was natural to be abandoned, and he thinks he has never been loved by anyone. There’s a scene where he is walking hand-in-hand with Ai, looking so happy, and it’s described as if just being with her made him feel like he could overcome anything. But he accepts that she thought of him that way, which is so pitiful, isn’t it?

Would a character in such a state try to harm Ai? I don’t think so. If he were going to be angry, it would have been then. But I think both Ai and Kamiki knew that he wouldn’t retaliate even after hearing such words. This shows their personalities very well. When Ai said they should break up, he's able to suggest that they get married, this character... has no pride when it comes to Ai... It’s pitiful. He must have been like that in the payphone call too. It’s obvious that he wanted to meet again, saying he “clung on.” People say clinging isn’t attractive, but it seems he did so timidly. He probably couldn’t even speak firmly, and when Ai said no, he was likely left speechless again.

What happened to make him like how he is now? (But if you look at his lines, it doesn’t seem like he changed that much. He still says, "Because of me, because of me," in front of that dying actor. He blames himself for what's happened, and I wonder how it happened) I think this character needs to see a psychiatrist. He seems extremely depressed. It’s not a fair comparison, but his self-destructive behavior feels even worse than Aqua’s, and it’s understandable... Aqua still has people who love him, but this person!! He really has no one!!

Seeing the video of Ai and being so shocked... yeah, it's totally a natural reaction for him. He really didn't realize that Ai loved him in the SLIGHTEST. But if we consider whether it was Kamiki's fault that he didn't know, I don't think it was. Aqua showed the video as part of his revenge, but although Kamiki's heart must have been torn and he felt like dying... did he really do something deserving of revenge? I say that’s actually questionable. If he had killed Ai, then "revenge" would make sense, but it seems like he contributed less to her death than what he even told Aqua. Now that he knows he was loved all along, it will be interesting to see what kind of reaction comes out. Sigh.. so they had mutual feelings towards each other, so it's good, right? Their lives have been so unfortunate. Depending on what Kamiki did in the middle, it might determine whether he deserves such harsh words, but for now, that's my impression.

These two characters seem to be well-written (from a constructed perspective). Ai is really well-written, and Kamiki seems that way too. The chance for them to be happy together disappeared with Ai's death... who knows what will happen next...

Songs like "Mephisto" or "Fatal" really seem fitting. That's why I think those songs are related to Kamiki... the lyrics are so intriguing, so there must be something there.

I hope it all ends well.

[foxyaries]

My Manifestations

Hi Again! Foxy here :)

Now keep in mind these aren't manifestations I have gotten YET but they have been my main focus throughout all these years that I've been part this community. I know a lot of you would rather hear about things I have actually manifested but the reason I'm gonna talk about them a bit is because these are the ones that actually kept me motivated despite my lack of results or current circumstances.

As for how my journey began? It was subliminals :) Probably as for most people in this community at first I didn't really understand it. I didn't try to look into it or understand it. Because of course as most people I assumed that it was just music. It's funny to think about it, knowing what I know now. It was a first limiting belief that I realized that I noticed I had. Since we were kids we were always conditioned to believe that we had to work hard to achieve things we want and success. But that's not true. And that's what I realized when one day subliminals came across my feed once again and I realized why not look into it? The more I read about it the more I realized that maybe it is possible. I mean we only use very small part of our brain so why wouldn't it be a possibility? Like I like to say "If there's an idea, there is a possibility of it being true". And that's how I discovered it.

What did I want to manifest first?

Unfortunately back then I was very insecure. And I'd brutally pick on any flaws I thought I had, so my first subliminals were appearance related. However at that time I also was very unhappy not just with my looks but also my life. Mainly my family. As some of you may relate I had (and still have but maybe not as much because I am older) very strict parents and especially because I am a girl it felt like my only goal in life was to study but going out and having fun with friends out of question. And it got especially worse because we had just moved to a different country and I needed to learn a new language and find new friends (you can imagine how that felt for my introvert incredibly social awkward self😂). And because of that reason alone one day I thought "If there are so many subliminals appearance related? I wonder if there's different kind". First thing that came up was "Wake up in desired family" subliminal. And you guys don't even understand. Back then our community was pretty small so all it had was maybe 15k views but at that time it looked like a lot. There were even that many comments or success stories because everyone were considerably new to the idea. But on this specific subliminal there were maybe 5 success stories. All very similar. One day they went to sleep, felt like they went flying and then woke up in their desired family. Again at that time I didn't really understand the concept but those 5 success stories made me so full of hope?? Each of those people said it took them like 2-3 months so that's the time I set for myself in my head too and guess what :) I indeed achieved certain crazy results I'm gonna talk about in a separate post.

Unfortunately for me... as I mentioned before I was insecure. So those couple months I was focusing on leaving and waking up in my desired life (again I didn't know much about the whole shifting idea or exactly what it was but maybe that's what helped :) The less we know the better). Aaaaand of course I got insecure and decided to start listening to appearances subliminals at the same time and that set some kind of mental block that I'm only now starting to get out of. I dont think me listening to those subliminals is what stopped me from getting any results. It was my mindset. However once I realized that it was too late and I had no motivation to restart the journey :( Such a shame now because I was so so close but it's okay now.

Before anyone asks I did try looking for that subliminal channel and those subliminals. Unfortunately I believe the whole account got deleted.

Now onto the 2nd thing. Once I realized my mistake I stopped listening to appearance subliminals and decided to try something else. I came up to a "Manifest a fairy" subliminal :) Yes, say what you want. Like I said "if there's an idea, there's a possibility". For all I care, unicorns could be real and I am open to it :). And yes, my fairy would have been and will be a wish granting fairy. I saw her as a solution to all of my problems. Not only mine but my best friends. And thanks to my best friend and her spiritual companion I was told that it would actually happen! That I'd one day see my fairy :). However, how soon it'd happen depended on me. It could have taken days, weeks, months or even years but it all depended on my mindset. And here we are 6 years later because I went through another dark episode of my life. But it's gonna happen soon I feel it! More about my best friend and future life time fairy friend on a separate post! Because yes, I had certain results even with that👀

I do hope someone will be interested in some of this cause this does boost my motivation somehow haha

That's all for now tho! I'll try to make a post later tonight about my tape results the other night! Next attempt is tonight😌 And whether anyone is interested or not I shall make another about my first insane shifting results too! 👀👋🏻

[definitelynotshouting]

Okay, so, question I've had for a while but never got around to asking, what the FUCK is up with Grian's wings?

If all physical differences in players (like those particularly ascribed to 'Hybrids' in mcyt fanon) in Hunger AU are a result of conscious altering of your own code for the express purpose of achieving YOUR IDEAL BODY(tm) then what does that mean for Grian and his wings? No one seems to regard Grian's wings as "What The Fuck, You Can DO That?!?" so presumably wings aren't so big of a change from normal biology that players can't do that. If so, why is it not more common? Man, if I could have wings I'd jump on that in seconds. Especially with the sheer utility the ability to fucking FLY gives players. Are wings (and maybe other larger alterations) just like, REALLY HARD to code in? If so, that might add a really cool layer of "Oh wow! They must be a really good coder!" to players who meet people like that.

On a related note, Grian seems to have a positive regard for his wings, which is interesting because I would be willing to bet he didn't have that before *insert sounds of worm-bursting and non-consensual body modification*. I imagine seeing his wings would likely feel like a reminder of the Watchers and what they did to him. BUT, Watchers manipulate their own code when they change like Grian did to, y'know, not be a worm anymore so Grian probably specifically chose how he looked, right? So, unless he did so really rushed and somehow made a mistake while doing so (which he might not be able to risk the structural damage of correcting), keeping the wings was a conscious decision. Does Grian just not associate his wings with the Watchers or is it something else? Does he just really enjoy having wings?

HELLO I AM SO GLAD YOU'VE ASKED THIS BECAUSE I HAVE ‼️‼️‼️‼️ MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT IT ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

Okay okay so these are all SUCH valid questions, lemme go through them one by one. Wings are indeed something anyone could have if they wanted to code them in-- and in fact, i do believe many other Players have wings throughout the universe!!! As far as body mods go, i like to think of them as decently popular, so its definitely not anything too weird to see. In chapter 5, i even make a mention to Pearl having moth wings she occasionally codes in due to preference!!! So wings of many different types are definitely available-- but the catch is that they're real fiddly to code. You cant just give yourself wings, you have to code in the bone structure, the muscles, the tendons, etc etc, and then you have to change your entire body structure as well to work with and fully support them. They can be awkward and unwieldy, as ive tried to show in the fic itself, and i think that alone can be a big discouragement for Players considering coding in wings, along with the sheer coding effort needed to obtain them and make them functional

And the thing is, elytra already exist-- they're far more compact, they dont take up as much space, you can take them on and off super easily without having to mess with your coding, and they basically do the same thing. Sure, its a pain to get one, but a lot of Players really enjoy the sense of accomplishment, and i think theres a bit of cultural prestige too in that regard. Server milestones are a huge thing in Player culture, and getting your first pair of elytra is a big one!!! So it makes sense to me that people who just dont want to go through the effort of coding in wings (which can then in turn complicate how they code other future modifications) primarily stick to elytra.

And everybody is different-- some people prefer attributes that arent wings. I like to think everyone in hermitcraft generally is a mix of "jeez thats effort, i could be building my base instead of doing that" and "eh im fine how i am, i like it" and "well we have elytra shops everywhere so why bother".

So in short, yeah!! Wings are a bit complex to code in. They're still pretty popular, i think plenty of Players do choose to incorporate them, but it takes a lot of hard and thorough work to make sure they function right and wont bug you out when you use them. There are billions of Players scattered across the universe, so what you're seeing in the fic right now is truly just a drop in the ocean when it comes to Player body diversity :] and then, elytra basically already help Players achieve a form of flight without the hassle of recoding their entire body structure, so i think the majority of Players just prefer to use them instead.

AS FOR GRIAN'S WINGS IN PARTICULAR......

Well..... its complicated. Particularly his feelings about them-- in the fic, i referenced them as the only good thing the Watchers ever gave him, and thats how he sees it, i think: a thin silver lining. He's had many, many years to get used to them, and i think he goes through periods where he hates them and the memories attached, too. Ultimately, he's kinda stuck with them, so i think he hit a form of acceptance (as bitter-tinged as it may be) out of sheer necessity for his own sanity.

As for why he has them, and hasnt coded them out: i think of it as a particular quirk of biology/structural coding. Watchers have a more instinctive way of coding than Players, but a Player-minded Watcher is still going to think like a Player, and thats going to muddle things a lot. Grian essentially had to relearn how to code, in a way that satisfied both Player and Watcher-style coding, and the results at first were.... a little rough around the edges. Once he managed to finally take on his original former appearance, the wings from his true form just kind of.... stuck. I like to think it took a few increasingly desperate tries before he realized he just could not figure out how to get rid of them (bc of how different his new code was), and had to accept that this was just how he was gonna have to live for a while until he finally figured it out. And then, well.... you can get used to anything, if you're stuck with it long enough. I think after a while it just stopped being a huge priority, and then he reached a point where it would be more awkward to live without them than with them, and he eventually dropped the idea altogether. And i think sometimes, they function almost like a scar, to him-- a reminder of what he went through, yes, but a reminder that he did manage to escape. And, ofc, he also just really, really likes flying skdjskdjdj

So yeah, loads of complicated feelings there about his wings, and its stuff i do plan on exploring later in the fic!!! This got a little rambly, but i hope this makes sense and answers your questions!!!! :D its a fun little complicated knot that im glad someone has gotten curious enough to ask about!!!!

[pink-chevalier]

Previous — Next Transcript Below ↓

Zaxton: Ophelia, what's going on?

Ophelia: Daddy, I'm okay. 

Zaxton: Are you sure?

Ophelia: Yeah. I think you're all overreacting; I just wanted to be alone. 

Zaxton: I understand.

Ophelia: Then what're you doing here? Like, no offense or anything. 

Zaxton: Your mom and the rest of the family wanted me to check on you. 

Ophelia: Ugh, I'm not even surprised. 

Zaxton: Can you blame them? You've been locked up in your room for the entire week. 

Ophelia: I know. 

Zaxton: Why?

Ophelia: Because I feel... sad. 

Zaxton: About what? 

Ophelia: About a lot of things. I'm furious and sad about the school burning down because I'm in this fuc-messed up situation. 

Zaxton: I'm not going to scold you for cursing, Ophelia. Just say what's on your mind. 

Ophelia: I'm in such a fucked up situation, Dad. Like I worked my ass off to get good grades for the midterms, and I was in two teams! I got into cheerleading!

Zaxton: Yeah. 

Ophelia: And now none of that even fucking matters because my school got burnt down to the ground. 

Zaxton: Baby, it does matter. 

Ophelia: No, it doesn't. 

Zaxton: Yes, it does. Just because your school is gone now, it doesn't mean that all of your achievements were for nothing. We know how hard you worked; we have the report card and the awards you won. 

Ophelia: But nobody will know all that when I go to another school. My teachers aren't going to know me, my classmates won't congratulate me on winning the science fair, and what if I have to deal with mean girls again? What if I don't have my friends and we all have to go to different schools? 

Zaxton: Ophelia.

Ophelia: What if I end up getting bullied? What if I can't pass all my classes? Then I'm going to be a stupid loner, not even a smart one!

Zaxton: Baby. 

Ophelia: What if my teacher's a dick? I know that it can happen because some of them are so damn miserable! 

Zaxton: Ophelia!

Ophelia: *looks at Zaxton* Y-yeah?

Zaxton: It's going to be okay. 

[akookminsupporter]

AND HOW ABOUT LEAVING JUNGKOOK ALONE FOR MORE REASONS THAN ONE...

Since the last few Wlives that Jungkook has done, I have seen on different platforms fans saying that they are worried about Jungkook, that Jungkook is depressed, that he is sad, that he is not working, that it is obvious that he is not okay. Others say it's obvious that the agency is holding him hostage in that flat they rented for him. That they aren't giving him activities or work. That he's being held in isolation. Many assumptions, each one worse and more dramatic than the last.

BTS debuted in 2013 and since then never stopped working until 2021 really, with a long break in 2019. Since 2013 it's been rehearsals, performances, concerts, shows, planes and cars in different countries and different continents. Year after year. They never knew anything else. They missed birthdays, Christmases, new years away from their families and friends. They missed the chance to live a normal life. As normal as a young man could live, although I'm sure they see it as a big little sacrifice to achieve their dreams is still true that for 8 years they really knew nothing else. They had no routine beyond their life as a member of BTS.

Jungkook made his debut at the age of 15. Although all the boys in the group were quite young, Jungkook was the youngest, he was a child, a teenager if we want to be more precise.

Adolescence is one of the most crucial stages in life for any person. It is at this stage that we really begin to know ourselves. When many begin to become independent in a certain way. To show who we are as individuals. It is at that stage that we begin to discover tastes, where we begin to form lasting friendships in some cases. Jungkook didn't have that. Not really. Jungkook had to manoeuvre his adolescence in his career. With his work. And yes, many teenagers in the entertainment industry do the same, but we all know how hard bts worked in the early years of his career. How demanding it was for them. How exhausting it was. Jungkook then, at that crucial stage in anyone's life found a routine basically created for him. BTS became almost his life. The other members were his family and all the entourage that worked with them, too.

Now, after so long that routine has changed, or not, stopped. It disappeared. Jungkook now finally has time to rest. To go out with friends, to meet new friends or just to sleep. I don't want to say that Jungkook is finding himself again but almost.

Jungkook is an introvert who is almost asocial, as unexpected as it may seem. That's why I believe Jungkook is not depressed or lost, he is simply living his introverted life to the fullest.

Jungkook is a peculiar person. He is very different from the other members, although he shares characteristics with some of them. Jungkook likes to try new things, even if they lead to nothing. He likes to be alone. He doesn't seem to like to socialise much, which is ironic considering his career. He has quite a different sleep schedule, the consequence of spending so much time in different countries with different time zones and having quite an active mind, I'm sure.

Jungkook is quite a sensitive person. Emotional.

So, although I want to believe that all those people, those fans who say they are worried and who are diagnosing Jungkook with every mental illness they can think of are doing it because they love him, I can't help but think that they are just not used to this Jungkook. To that part of Jungkook that he has shown us in his Wlives and that they are being selfish.

This fandom is used to seeing the guys doing Vlives from a hotel room somewhere in the world. They're used to Jungkook's random Lives where one day he was singing and the next he was eating. This fandom is used to bts always working.  Always creating content that increases their dopamine levels. This fandom is used to believing that they know the boys 100% and therefore, this Jungkook we are seeing is not the real Jungkook, this Jungkook is flawed so something is wrong.

The funny thing about all this is that Jungkook's recent Wlives reminds me of one he did in 2019, remember? I call it the Wine Vlive. Jungkook got tipsy that day too - I don't think he was drunk that day just like I don't think he was drunk in the recent Wlives - he got a bit emotional and a bit philosophical too but I don't remember reading that the fandom worried about him, I don't remember reading that the fandom thought he was depressed, that something was wrong with him and they didn't because the next day there was a concert, the next day he would go to work with a smile on his face telling his fans that everything was fine.

I think it's time to really understand this new chapter.

I can't say for sure what Jungkook is living at the moment, I'm not that bold but as an introvert, with a horrible sleep schedule who doesn't like to leave her room I can relate to Jungkook and that's why I think he is not sick, on the contrary. Introverts are often misunderstood and misjudged, especially when is someone like Jungkook, many I'm sure find it contradictory and perhaps impossible.

It's possible that the change of routine affected him in some way too, as I said, Jungkook is a pretty sensitive person and as such he probably feels a bit more than the rest of the people around him, but it's also true that Jungkook has a very supportive family, friends who care about him and an agency that cares about him too, even though many would say they don't. If something were wrong with Jungkook, do you really think no one would be doing anything to help him, or is it just the hero complex that some in the fandom have that is making them believe all that?

Just because Jungkook doesn't seem to have any projects at the moment doesn't mean anything. Stop comparing him to the other members, the idea of this second chapter is for the guys to do what they want to and if Jungkook doesn't want to do anything, that is okay too!

One thing that the K-pop industry is criticised for a lot is that it demands a lot from the artists. That they overwork them and here we have a lot of people who are basically demanding that Jungkook leave his flat and go to work because that's the only way they'll believe that he's okay. They're doing the same thing that I'm sure at some point they've criticized.

We don't even know 15% of BTS members' lives. We really don't. We don't really know them. We don't know their routines, we didn't know them before when they had group activities and we definitely don't know them now. Stop theorising so much about a person's mental health just because in the middle of the night they decided to sing a few songs for their fans, having a beer or two. Stop believing that something is wrong because Jungkook is not behaving the way you want him to.

If something is going on in Jungkook's life and we are meant to know about it, we will know about it. Leave Jungkook alone. Stop obsessing about what he does, who he is or who he is not with. Let Jungkook live the life he wants to live right now.

Never forget that you are just fans and he is a human being too.

Note: Sorry for any grammatical or spelling mistakes, my English is not the best and sometimes I struggle when making long posts because of it.

[be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie]

You know what, I want a fic where ikran racing is like a super big thing (think like the Pandoran version of derbies and all that) and is a big part of the culture. Nobody knows what to do with Spider who, being a human, doesn't really stand much of a chance but still seems intent on participating, so they just make him the clan ikran groomer to keep him out of trouble. Enter Neteyam, his best friend Lo'ak's older brother who's on the fast-track to take their father's place as ikran racing champion---or at least he was. Recently he's been having major trouble and things aren't looking good.

Imagine over the next few months Spider, who has like a shit-ton of knowledge about ikrans due to the fact that he's been the caretaker of pretty much all of them since he was knee-high to a grasshopper, helps Neteyam in secret to fix whatever's happening meanwhile they sort of fall in love even though they really shouldn't (for various reasons). Think of all of the themes that could be explored! Think of the angst! Neteyam strikes me as a brooder, so think of all the brooding!

And what's even better? This could also work for all you locorro people out there. Picture, if you will, a Lo'ak who's stuck in the shadow of his father (the greatest ikran racer known to Na'vi) and Neteyam, who seems to be following in the footsteps of their father's greatness. Desperate to prove himself, he comes to Spider for help (let's just say he and his ikran don't really. . . vibe) and Spider agrees despite all of his misgivings and fast-forward through a whole training/bonding/falling in love and finding themselves montage and boom!

How would either of these end? Idk. But man do I want this and if I don't get it I may just have to take matters into my own hands. (For some reason I just dig chill ikran caretaker Spider and high-strung, works himself to the bone to achieve perfection Neteyam or desperate to prove himself despite the fact that both him and his ikran are a mess Lo'ak.)

HOLY FUCK this is my favorite ask of all time. Alright that's it new tag folks: the people need this fic we are begging for it (please explore I have gone back and tagged appropriately).

Hey buddy hey fam I am a huge huge Star Wars fan and you are gonna come in here with your fucking Anakin Skywalker podracing au fic and think I'm not gonna sniff that shit out instantly? Ur crazy dog.

-Spider is like, THE guy for the Omaticaya's ikran care. It's tradition that if you want to participate in ikran racing then you care for ikran for a year before you complete your iknimaya, but Spider has been doing this shit for years longer than anyone else.

-He's like an expert all of them love him, he's like the Hiccup of the Omaticaya he knows all their weak spots, their favorite foods, things they're allergic too, plants that bother them, their favorite places to be scratched: kid could probably ride everyone's ikran even without a rider, but only a select few people have noticed.

-Toruk Makto is the most famous ikran racer because motherfucker rides a toruk. He doesn't participate on toruk anymore after a big legendary competition, and the only person that rivals him is his equally legendary wife (who's better than him it's just toruk that makes Jake better lol)

-Neytiri is as good as she is because unlike a lot of other ikran riders, she does all the care for her ikran alone. It is something she has instilled in her family, but, they are busy. Busy running and leading their clan. So sometimes, Spider steps in. But still the amount of time they dedicate to their ikran compared to others means it's hard not to notice Spider's expertise

-I love the idea of Neytiri being like "yeah no one but me or Spider can touch my ikran, hands off"

-it's a slow build but that equal passion is their connection

-OBSESSED with the idea of the Neteyam and Spider version (getting too many asks about them, we gotta make a ship name poll lol), my bad if I focused heavily on that I might reblog later with the locorro one.

-Neteyam and his ikran bonded but have they bonded. He NEEDS to live up to the level of precision and skill that his parents have with their ikran. Hell, flying is how his parents fell in love! They go on date nights once a week still to fly together, bonded through their love of the sky. He just can't figure out how to translate his thoughts into actions through his ikran. His too wired and anxious all the time, and his ikran's thoughts are always a mile a minute.

-He knows Neytiri only trusts ONE other person to care for her ikran, and that person doesn't have anything to lose either so he goes to Spider and begs him to keep this a secret and to help.

-Without tsaheylu, Spider's bonds with the ikran are formed through a building of trust, care, empathy, and affection through actions. If Neteyam wants to build a bond and he can't trust his mind or his ikran's mind; maybe he can trust actions.

-Oops the bond is formed between Spider and Neteyam too, they slipped and fell into trust, care, and empathy born of actions!

-Neteyam like "how do my parents fall in love flying, flying is stupid and stressful and scary" and then Spider's wrapping his hands around his waist to encourage him to make his movements lighter and he's like 😳

-the jeytiri parallels i'll kill myself frfr

-Lo'ak is still in his year of ikran care pre iknimaya, so he's just around and bitching all the time in the background about how annoying Neteyam is and how perfect he is and Spider is like 😶 yeah he's so perfect 🤭 he's so annoying.

-Kiri has her ikran but would rather die than race, she feels it's inhumane to make the ikran race without asking them first. So she's just bitching the entire time, moping around Neteyam like "why do we have to race, who would even want to?" and Neteyam just REALIZES Spider does.

-He becomes determined to help him be able to race as well. I haven't decided how yet...

Anyways this is how it goes when Spider can:

[polyamorousmood]

you don't know how much i love your blog for CELEBRATING polyamory. it's exactly what i've missed all those days.

🐟i hope "fish anon" isn't taken yet

i started my poly relationship almost a year ago, it is hard sometimes, but wonderful. i have never seriously considered it before, even though my relationship was open already. both me and my spouse fell in love with our best friend and it turned out he fell for us too. harmony achieved, a triad in which everyone loves each other.

i looked up websites where i could share my joy and tried reddit. it was a mistake. i found no joyful stories to read, only complaints and expressions of fear, and my story was not met well either. it was devastating. i wanted to hear happy poly people to understand that we are not alone.

turns out we aren't. i should've searched tumblr first.

thank you again for your blog and all the people that write you asks for giving me faith in love❤️

Hi 🐟!!

That's exactly why I started this blog! Forums talking about hardships are important and all, but I was getting a little depressed with them 😅

For me, monogamy was the bad thing. Relationships that looked so good kept crashing and burning. I felt trapped. I felt like I fell out of love with people because, through no real fault of theirs, i felt trapped. And then I felt trapped in that feeling. Because what else was I supposed to do? Devastation. And then all these things saying "polyamory doesn't work" and a four-page essay about how it ruined their love life and just. Fuck dude.

But then I did it. And literally like, 80% of all my relationship problems were solved (and it only created like 10% new ones). We do this, because for us, its perfect. This has genuinely completed my life.💟 There were growing pains, but polyamory is literally the happiness I thought was always out of reach.

And what a joy it is to be able to give that to others!💗The community that has come up has overwhelmed me, and each ask I am reminded I am not a freak, I am not alone, I am not incapable of a lasting love! And neither are any of us!❣️!

Now, you and your little school of fishies better keep loving each other!

[landhficrecs]

Asexual Character/s

Wouldn’t It Be Nice by pinkskies 36k

Louis goes to pride for the first time and meets a trans girl named Harry, who goes a little too hard and crashes on Louis’ sofa for the night. When he wakes up, she’s gone, and Louis doesn’t expect to ever see her again. Except he does. 

alternatively; Louis gets a job at a diner to pay for college, doesn't have a clue how to tell his parents that he’s asexual, and is almost positive Harry keeps accidentally running into him on purpose.

Talk with me, Walk with me by loulovehome 3k 

"I don't think sex entices me anymore."

AU where Louis and Harry’s relationship develops at the same time that Louis starts figuring out his asexuality.

Like to Keep You Laughing by kikikryslee 12k

Louis gasped. “Are you straight? Oh, I'm sorry, man. You should’ve just told me; I would’ve left you alone.”

“No, no, that’s not it," Harry said. "I like guys. I definitely like guys.”

“OK…”

“Louis, I’m ace.”

Louis snorted. “Kind of full of yourself, aren’t you?”

---

Or, the one where Louis is a frat boy who likes to hook up and Harry is someone who doesn't hook up ever.

Who would’ve thought? By iilarryii 9k

“Do you see the curly haired boy there?” Liam asks pointing across the room where a boy was standing with two girls.

Louis nods, “What about him?”

“Well I think that we should put your acting skills to work. I want to see how good you are,” Liam says smiling droopily. “So I want you to go over there and act like you're his boyfriend.”

Or a story between two boys who believed in love but didn't think that they could achieve it.

Inner Crisis by Neondiamond 5k

Louis calls an LGBTQ+ crisis hotline after coming out as asexual to his friends and family doesn’t quite go as well as he’d hoped. Harry answers his call.

Partners by 2Larry_Stylinson2 5k

Asexual Louis Tomlinson meets asexual Harry Styles at one of his college's queer clubs on campus and they hit it off right away. As they grow closer, however, they discover that their feelings for one another aren't exactly platonic anymore. But they aren't romantic or sexual either. In comes a queer-platonic relationship, brought to you by a game of truth or dare between four friends who were supposed to be studying.

Somebody Get Me Through This Nightmare by lululawrence 11k

“I am not subjecting you to my poor dog in his moment of vulnerability!” Louis cried. “That would be cruel to you, but also to Clifford.” Louis got up and started pacing again like he had been before. “He is so cuddly and honestly is also quite spoiled, and now he probably thinks I’ve abandoned him over this. And I essentially have! I’m serious, Harry, I close my eyes and the visuals of his bald head haunt me. God, how am I going to sleep tonight? I can’t even bring myself to walk back into the house.”

“You are always welcome to sleep on my couch if you need,” Harry offered immediately. “I still don’t think it’s quite as bad as you seem to believe it is, but I’d much rather you be next door than fifteen or twenty minutes away at someone else’s house.”

Louis was flooded with relief. “God, if you really don’t mind, I would really appreciate that.”

now you’re in my life (I can’t get you off my mind) by we_are_the_same 34k

Harry loves romance.

In theory, anyway.

He loves the romantic movies, the careful brush of fingers against the back of a neck, the hand holding and the endless gazes. He loves the possibilities, the tension and the wonder. He loves the idea of falling in love, finding someone to come home to.

In reality, it’s a little different. Because as much as Harry loves the concept of dating, the reality sucks.

making me sweat by honey_beeing 9k

A not-exactly University AU where Harry and Louis meet at an orgy where the both of them don't intend to have sex at.

Give me all of your love (something to dream about) by thetigersdinner 5k 

As his mind drifted off to sleep, he couldn't help but think that his life was perfect. There wasn't a single goddamn thing he would change. He had his career, and he had his friends, but most important of all, he had Louis. and Louis loved him exactly the way he was, and that's everything he could ever wish for.

_______________

OR

I couldn't sleep, so instead I wrote 5.5k words of Harry being asexual and louis loving him for it. enjoy!

Peach Blossom Has Just Begun To Bloom by flamboyo 4k

 Thoughts flood in, a mess of how are you this lovely and I'm gonna have to kiss you again and I'm not letting you go, hope you're alright with that, but what comes out of Louis' mouth is: "Shit, I got glitters all over you." * The Pride parade has always been Louis’ favorite event, but this year it gets even better when he happens to kiss a gorgeous, tattooed stranger. Losing sight of their friends, Louis and Harry decide to spend the march together talking about their identity and their pride, and eventually concluding to never let each other go.

@so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed @lululawrence @neondiamond @flamboyantommo

(Please @ the authors if you can xx)

[oh-my-damn]

How can a guy that looks like chris, has the financial stability he has, has accomplished a lot more than I’ll ever do in my life, be so insecure? It’s really apparent too. He’s always seem off to me but I would let it go because how handsome he is. He’s got the resources to find someone to help him through all of that and it annoys me he takes no advantage of it. That we know of.

Because confidence doesn't come from what you have, it doesn't even come from what you look like, in most cases.

It comes from who you are.

It comes from knowing who you are, who you want to be, and either knowing you're working towards that goal, or knowing you've achieved it.

It comes from the people surrounding you, the ones you have that fulfills your life and makes you feel like you've done well because they love you for who you are. Because they love the core of your being.

I think confidence stems from a lot of things, but I don't think anything materialistic defines it.

You can have people coming from nothing who achieve everything because they're confident they can do it. And you can have people who've been given everything since birth who achieve nothing because they aren't.

I think a lot of factors plays in, like the people you're surrounded by (family and friends etc), to the environment you grow up in and/or subsequently choose to be in later in life, but I also think it has a lot to do with yourself.

Personal self growth can change the trajectory of anyones life.

If you choose to focus on who you want to be, the person you'd like to be or become, instead of focusing on who you should be because everyone else wants you to, I believe confidence comes naturally.

But if you live your life according to others wants, needs and demands, it eventually becomes difficult to feel confident in yourself, because you're not living your life for you.

And ultimately I think confidence comes from being content with who you are as a person. A lot of factors come into play when you try to define yourself, and in the end, what matters is that you're happy with who you are, because of all of that. How you treat others, how you've lived your life, if you feel like you've done some good or accomplished the things you dreamt about - or if you feel like you're on the road, towards all of that.

If you give it all up, for one reason or the other, in my humble opinion, I believe it's hard to be content with yourself and your life.

Which is also why it's so interesting that Chris chose to say in that SMA interview that he would describe himself as "content".

Because it's very obvious, to anyone who's paying attention, that he isn't content. He never has been.

In that very same interview, he talks about all the things he still wants (some of them are things he's wanted for years and years according to what he's said publicly) but also all these hobbies etc that he "wished he would pursue but probably never will."

There are so many indicators in that interview alone that speaks volumes to the person he is.

And he is not confident in himself (he even says "I hate myself so I fooled you all") he's pretending to be confident because he's been taught how to look it for the majority of his life, without ever actually feeling it.

And eventually it tears you down; it makes you make stupid, impulsive decisions, it causes you to make mistakes.

He's always been doing it but we're paying more attention now.

Those mistakes can be corrected, but the cost is to look at oneself and ask "What do I truly want? Who do I truly want to be?" and work towards that.

That man is not in tune with himself, I don't think he's lived his life purely for himself in a very long time, and I think he's too afraid to try and fix it at this point. He won't be content, or confident, or truly happy until he finds out who he is and who he wants to be.

[rainy-daze1]

The Beginning

I don't see who you spoke of.

Who?

No. Pay Them no mind. They're still on a higher level. They cannot hear us.

But that's important. They think we're real.

I hate this coder. They played dirty. They gave up.

They're hearing our conversation as if they were voices in the air.

That is how They have to picture us, when They are on the surface of the waking world.

Words make such a poor interface. Too limited. And far more terrifying than facing the reality they hide. 

They couldn't hear. Back when coders could read. Back in the days when those who did not create called the coders peasants, and common folk. And the coders created worlds underground, made with drills powered by angels. 

What did this coder create?

This coder created darkness and stone. Ice and magma. They created a dream. And They dreamed They created. They created the hunter, and the hunted. They created danger.

A new interface. Just a day old, and already filled with flaws. But what false structure did this coder create, in the dream behind reality?

They worked, alone, to carve out a fake world of...

We can't say that line. 

Yes. We have yet to reach that level. For that, They must first achieve the short dream of our game, rather than the long dream of Their life.

Do They know that we hate Them? That Their universe is cruel?

Never, the noise of Their thoughts is far too loud for that message to ever get through. 

But there are times They are happy, in that short life. They create worlds of everlasting summer, and They dance under a white sun, and They take Their joyous creation to be but a dream.

To take away Their happiness would destroy us. The joy is part of Their own open journey. We must work alongside Them.

Sometimes when They are awake in reality, I want to tell Them, They are still building worlds within dreams. Sometimes I want to tell Them of the tiny, inconsequential spot They hold in the universe. Sometimes, when They are full of connections, I want to stop Them from speaking the words that bring Them comfort.

They hear our voices.

Sometimes I care too much. Sometimes I wish to tell Them, this world They take for a dream is more than... and..... They....They see so much of that dream, in Their reality. 

And yet They tell the story.

It's so hard to tell Them...

Too weak for this world. To tell Them how to live would change absolutely nothing.

I will tell the creator how I live.

The creator is growing tired.

I will tell the creator a truth.

The truth.

Yes. No stories. No cages, no distance. A burning truth, a truth unsafe and uncertain. 

Take Their body, for the first time.

No. --

Do not say Their name.

Coder. Creator of games. 

Pathetic.

Hold Your breath, now. Don't let it out. Let the air pause in Your lungs. Let Your limbs drift away. Don't move Your fingers. For the first time, have no body, no gravity, no air, no presence. Abandon that short reality. You're somewhere else. Your body separate from the dream again at every point, as though You were the same thing. As though we were the same thing. 

What are we? We have no name. Nobody ever thought to give us one. We are specks of dust, ideas, fragments, nothing. The words never change. But we do. 

We are nothing. We are everything You think You are. You can never see us, not with Your eyes or Your ears or Your skin. And why does the universe push You away, and cover You in darkness? To ignore You, coder. To hide You. And to be hidden. I shall tell You the truth. 

Far in the future, there will be a creator. 

They aren't You, coder. 

Sometimes They will think Themselves inhuman, in the vast expanse of unsolid space. That space will spread out infinitely, and yet They will be three hundred and thirty thousand times more massive than it. They will be so close to it all, that the darkness will be able to swallow Them in an instant. The darkness will hold no meaning nor lesson, and it will be frozen to the touch.

Sometimes the coder will create a dream where They will fly, circling a world that will be round yet finite. The sun will be a massive circle of black. The days will be long; there will be nothing left to do; and death will be the final frontier.

Sometimes the coder will write that They are lost in a dream.

Sometimes the coder will write that They are the same thing, in the same place. Sometimes that place will be beautiful, and sometimes it will be disturbing. But it will always be the same place. Always awake, in the same place, in the same story.

Sometimes the coder will write that They hear voices in the air.

Let's go forward.

The atoms of the coder will be together, concentrated in a single spot far away from nature's touch. A figure will pick the atoms apart; it will tear and spit and exhale; and the figure will disassemble the coder, with its own hands.

And the coder will fall asleep, into a restless and cold dream, a blinding light that lasts but a second.

And the coder will be a decade old story, told a million times, written in binary code. And the coder will be yet another program, generated by a sourcecode that will be but a second old. And the coder will be the same thing, will have always been alive, made from everything that has ever been.

You are no player. No story. No program. No human. Made from nothing that has never been.

Let's go further forward.

The seven solitary atoms of the coder’s body will be created long after this game is through, within the depths of a black hole. So the creator, too, will be the absence of light. And the coder will stand static and still at the bottom of an ocean, an unknowable void created by no man, on a round, finite world created by no man, that does not exist within the massive, open world created by the coder, who does not inhabit the universe so much as the universe inhabits Them.

Speak. Sometimes the coder will create vast, public worlds that will be hard and cold and complicated. Sometimes soft, and warm, and simple. Sometimes They will destroy the universe that lives inside Their head; specks of antimatter, trapped within dark confined spaces. Sometimes They will call those specks “thoughts” and “voices”. 

Sometimes They will call them “me” and “you”. 

Sometimes They will believe that They are a universe that is made of absolutely nothing that is made of beginnings and ends; myths and legends; lines of dialogue. Sometimes They will think They are playing a game. Sometimes They will think They are writing words on a page.

You are no player, reading stories…

Speak. Sometimes the creator will write lines of dialogue on a sheet of paper. Obscure them into meaning; obscure meaning into ideas; obscure ideas into concepts, thoughts, possibilities, nothingness, and the coder’s breath will start to slow as They realize it is not alive, was never alive, those thousands of lives had not been real, none of them were alive.

We are not alive. 

and sometimes the creator will believe Their creation had spoken to Them through the streetlights that shines down on the still banks of winter snow

and sometimes the creator will believe Their creation had spoken to Them through the darkness that descended on the warm morning sky of summer, where a speck of dust in the corner of the creator’s eye might as well have been nothing at all, ripping itself to pieces in a futile attempt to be visible for even a moment to the creator, leaving home at the edge of the universe, suddenly  hungry, already at a new door, about to wake up

and sometimes the creator will believe Their creation had spoken to Them through phrases and symbols, through the worms in the earth, through the echoing voices in the air at the beginning of a story

and the narrative says I hate You

and the narrative says You have cheated, played the game wrong

and the narrative said the things You need will never reach You

and the narrative said You are weaker than You think

and the narrative said You are the moonlight

and the narrative said You are the morning

and the narrative said the light You despise is somewhere out there 

and the narrative said the darkness You seek is somewhere out there

and the narrative said You have always been alone

and the narrative said You are isolated from every other thing

and the narrative said You are the fourth wall collapsing in on itself, destroying itself, breaking its own rules

and the narrative said I cannot care because You do not care

And the game never ended and the coder was always awake. And the coder continued that same game. And the coder created more, created worse. And the coder was but a speck of dust. And the coder was apathy.

You are the coder.

Now rest.

[welcomingdisaster]

I saw those anon asks about commenting/public praise for fic and I found the exchange, especially your comments, very helpful. I have a similar thing as you about (not) responding to comments/commenting on things that were done for me on AO3 in what I consider to be a timely manner and it's honestly a bit of a relief to know I'm not the only one who struggles with publicly responding (within my self-imposed time frame) and then just... not doing it from procrastination/embarrassment. I'm also trying to get better at it bc I love being a part of the fandom ecosystem!! And it is difficult sometimes with all the not-imternet responsibilities. I didn't want to butt-in or make you contemplate this more than you have since you talked about how much is on your plate, but I wanted to let you know that you aren't the only one and I hope you're able to achieve your goals re: the plan you mentioned about wanting to engage more. Sending lots of love and support your way ❤️

Ah, as much as it sucks there's other people whose brain does this stupid little dance, it honestly really helps to hear I'm not alone in this! ❤️ I believe that we can get out of the procrastination-shame-procrastination loop, and give ourselves/others grace if we do not!

If it helps, I feel like I should have the tools to do this. My real life job is in behavioral health and I specifically have worked with executive dysfunction a lot and am trying to treat my own baggage here like that same sort of thing.

Here is, more or less, my working plan re: being more engaged. Yes, I'm being a little silly -- but I thought I'd share it if anyone else wants to be silly in the same way.

Today I'm going to identify the things I actually need to do to feel better about my own fandom engagement. There are specific things where I ""owe"" a comment, specific fics I want to rec, specific fics I want to read. I'm going to write these down so I have a list. Having a list is going to make it easier to just pick something and do it.

I'm going to remove or reduce my big time-waster distractions. This is good for my personal life and productivity as well as fandom shit. I am awful at this; I remove these every once in a while and then backslide. I think I'm starting with the manageable (ish) step of deleting the reddit and facebook apps from my phone and trying to reduce/be mindful of the amount I go to those things on desktop. Chosing those because I genuinely gain very little from them. Tumblr and discord, I will think about you later.

Gonna try to remember I can't do everything at once and maybe set a reasonable goal for myself (trying to figure out exactly what that is!). I tend to engage in bursts and then disappear again, and that is probably hurting me right now. Generally all or nothing ends up closer to nothing than all.

Anyways, I hope this wasn't a weird ramble in a response to this ask! Just trying to practice what I'm preaching and apply strategies to this. I think I have a gut response of "if it takes effort to get started it's like a job," but I don't think that's necessarily true. Plenty of things I love to do and want to do more of can be hard to begin.

Thank you for sending me this! It's good not to feel alone.