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d-criss-news · 4 years

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With the film industry as we know it—A-list stars swanning around studio lots amid the swirling winds of an entire city bellowing buzzwords about makin’ pictures—essentially nonexistent at the moment, here’s an especially provocative idea as we contemplate its eventual return: What if Hollywood was... better?

Not in terms of quality of output, though if we’ve learned anything through the industry’s glacial inching toward progress, that will follow suit. But what if the industry was more inclusive? What if it was less afraid of change? What if it allowed gay people, people of color, women, and minorities to tell their own stories, to be in charge—and what if the people accepted it?

Better yet, what if it was always that way?

Like the loud, harsh clack of a clapboard coming down on 70 years of motion picture history, Ryan Murphy’s revisionist manifesto Hollywood arrives Friday on Netflix with blinding, blaring, technicolor confidence. Hardly subtle, deliciously ostentatious, and admirably mischievous, the lavish seven-episode series is a love letter to Hollywood by way of 2020 think piece.

It is messy and thrilling, upsetting yet profound; as uneven and as enthralling as any of Murphy’s big-swing, genre-contorting efforts: Glee, American Horror Story, or The Politician. But as with his soapy historical study Feud: Bette and Joan, it is a fastidious celebration of a glamorized time in Hollywood that mines nostalgia for modern meaning—a fragile undertaking swaddled in the dazzle of unmatched production design and talent pedigree.

Hollywood flops as often as it soars, but never rests in its grandiosity and ambition. The result is something escapist and frothy at a time when a retreat to a Hollywood happy ending is as alluring a fantasy as they come.

There is brilliant acting and there is bad acting. There are ovation-worthy ideas and there are off-putting ones. But, above all, there is reason to watch: It is gay, it is sexy, it is Patti LuPone.

Hollywood is a revisionist history of cinema’s golden age. It’s the 1940s in all their glamour and art: Casablanca! Citizen Kane! Alfred Hitchcock! Jimmy Stewart! Rita Hayworth! Cary Grant! It’s an era that’s been romanticized for so long that we’ve internalized it, morphing our own lifestyle aspirations to conform to its very heteronormative, very patriarchal, very (very) white ideas about sex and gender roles. These were ideas, however, that the industry was telegraphing, but not living in real life. Not at all.

Murphy and his team’s rewriting of history pulls the curtain back, exposing the sexually fluid proclivities of the stars—leading men sleeping with male escorts; Oscar-winning actresses in bisexual affairs—and the damning, racist barriers to inclusion fortified by studio heads thwarting any opportunity for progress.

Then, and here’s the crux of the whole thing: Hollywood changes that narrative. We glimpse the power dynamics inside Tinseltown’s gilded cage, and watch them being dismantled.

Some of the players’ narratives are real, and some are fiction. That makes for an amusing parlor game for viewers, attempting to separate the true history from the imagined one, and should birth a cottage industry of “The Real Story Behind…” stories in the weeks to come. But these are actual people who never had the opportunity to live authentically or see true, equal opportunity in the industry. Expect there to be a split among those who find happier, reimagined fates for them a sweet gesture, and those who find it in bad taste.

The story trains in on Jack (David Corenswet), a World War II veteran arriving wide-eyed in Hollywood, hoping some gumption and a jawline God shed a tear after creating will be enough to get him into the pictures. But he’s got a pregnant wife (Maude Apatow) to think about. Until he catches the eye of a casting director, he has to find some way to pay the bills. That cash flow comes surreptitiously from a gas station owner (Dylan McDermott), whose dashed Hollywood ambitions leave a soft spot for attractive dreamers like Jack—particularly ones who prove lucrative in his under-the-table prostitution business. A customer comes in for a fill-up, so to speak, and whispers the code, “I want to go to Dreamland,” and, well, you know the rest—and hopefully get the hardly nuanced metaphor about sex, power, sacrifices, and Hollywood.

This gas station business is without a doubt inspired by Scotty Bowers, the notorious L.A. hustler who died last year at 96, following a scandalizing, dishy documentary and memoir revealing the brothel he ran out of a petrol stand, sleeping with (allegedly) Cary Grant, Spencer Tracy, Bette Davis, Vivien Leigh, Gary Cooper, J. Edgar Hoover, and Rock Hudson.

McDermott’s character, however, is not actually Scotty Bowers, a distinction that’s necessary because Rock Hudson actually is a character, played by Jake Picking. So is Henry Wilson, the monstrous, closeted Hollywood agent played by Jim Parsons, who trades blowjobs for representation. Elsewhere, real-life trailblazers like Hattie MacDaniel, Vivien Leigh, and George Cukor show up. Their presence, on the one hand, lends credibility and grounds the fantasia of diversity and acceptance that Hollywood builds to. It’s also morally amorphous.

Hudson was closeted until the day he died of HIV/AIDS. He didn’t get the happy ending imagined here, publicly coming out of the closet by attending the Academy Awards with his fictional black, gay screenwriting boyfriend, holding hands on the red carpet, and staying on track on his ascension to Hollywood hunk. There’s also no evidence that Wilson, as caustic and self-loathing as the devil himself when we meet him in the show, had a change of heart and becomes a LGBT crusader seeking amends and atonement.

The wishful thinking is nice. But the bleakness of the reality shouldn’t be forgotten. There’s no clean place to land there, other than to consider both.

But these are just a handful of Hollywood’s players, and not even the true engine of the plot. In typical Murphyland fashion, there is a dizzying constellation of characters and their errant business to keep tabs on.

At the forefront is Patti LuPone’s Avis, the bored wife of a studio head (a scene-stealing Rob Reiner) who is first introduced as a client of Jack’s—hence all the press about the Tony winner’s explicit sex scenes that you’ve likely been reading—and eventually put in charge of the studio itself when her husband is incapacitated by a heart attack.

If it’s novel now to think of a female in charge of greenlighting projects and making commercial creative decisions, imagine it seven decades ago. And Avis shakes things up. With a casting director (Holland Taylor, perfect) and producer (Joe Mantello, heartbreaking) as her conspirators, she greenlights and positions as the studio’s next blockbuster a film called Meg, with its historically diverse creative team intact.

That means half-Filipino director Raymond (Darren Criss), black screenwriter Archie (Jeremy Pope), black leading lady Camille (Laura Harrier), and Jack and Rock in supporting roles. It takes willfulness to bulldoze the fortresses that bar progress. That is invigorating and moving to watch, especially as Hollywood dances between comedy, camp, earnestness, and tragedy with all the glee, if you will, that you’d expect from a Ryan Murphy production.

There’s sex—hot sex, gay sex, interracial sex, intergenerational sex—and there’s farce and there’s a wardrobe and set budget to sweep you away like a riptide.

There are scenes from Parsons and LuPone that will win them Emmys. Mantello and Taylor have a two-hander together that shattered me into so many pieces I am billing Ryan Murphy the cleaning fee. I worry that even with his Netflix money it won’t be enough—that’s how good it is.

Mira Sorvino and Queen Latifah give so much in their scenes as guest stars that you wish they were in more but are grateful for the flawless blips of bliss, while Michelle Krusiec as Anna May Wong, the first Chinese American movie star, is the epitome of an actor making a monumental moment out of limited material.

Criss solidifies his leading-man status—he’s captivating in every scene, even without much to do—and Corenswet brings glimmers of gravitas to eye candy. But the rest of the kids nearly torpedo the whole damn thing, they’re so miscast. The scenes with the older generation are so rich and such an utter joy to watch, it only makes the woodenness of performers like Picking and Harrier all the more egregious. Thankfully, there’s a larger message to it all that acts as absolution.

If Hollywood were a treatise on how society interacts with movies and TV both then and now, then the thesis could likely be boiled down to an early conversation between Raymond, Criss’ director character, and Dick, Mantello’s studio exec. It’s Raymond’s dream to direct a movie starring Anna May Wong. Dick kills the pitch, saying no one will pay to see a movie with an Asian lead, or any lead of color.

Raymond doesn’t stand for that. How does he know? No one’s tried. “Sometimes I think folks in this town don’t really understand the power they have. Movies don’t just show us how the world is, they show how the world can be. If we change the way that movies are made, you take a chance and you make a different kind of story, I think you can change the world.”

It’s not a stretch to argue that as the mission statement of Murphy’s entire career. He’s proved it time and again, from Glee to Pose: Bring the marginalized out of the margins and watch how things change. Someone just has to be the one to do it.

In essence, Hollywood sees Murphy dramatizing the progress that he played a part in catalyzing today, but imagining if it had come at a different turning point in cinema history—70 years ago. More tantalizingly, he raises the question of what society today might be like had it actually happened then.

Is it a little self-congratulatory? Sure. But, hey, that’s showbiz, kid.

#darren criss #the daily beast #hollywood #press #hollywood spoilers #just in case #april 2020 #hollywood review

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warmbeebosoftbeebo · 6 years

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I totally agree about being more vanilla and certain asks being a hell to the no. I’ve been with the same man for 4 years so we’ve tried almost everything but nothing gets me off more than a man (/idea of) worshipping you with his words while you enjoy each other’s bodies. I feel like people in these types of relationships are seen as boring by society because time together doesn’t involve hurting your partner ect. I CAN confirm that those in vanilla relationships can/still do have great sex

Also same anon as previous, but a PS that your style of writing and the way you write about B x reader (the way he behaves / talks to/ treats the reader is exACTLY my style. Nothing is hotter than a man who knows how to use his words in all the right ways. You fuck ya girl into next week but if you don’t know how to work me up with your words mixed with a super loving/ caressing touch it’s not gonna happen. You know what IT is ;)

i’m often confused as to whether i’d be considered vanilla or not, or at least if my fic would be considered vanilla or not. i remember an ask from a while ago saying i was into some kinky shit n i was like “bwuh?” n figured i’d be considered hopelessly vanilla by most (as if vanilla is bad/isn’t fucking delicious: the smell, the taste…fucking lovely. plus it got b sniffing ryan’s armpit haha n telling him he smelled good :P). are things like vibes n other toys, pegging/anal/prostate stumulation, diff kinds of tribadism/frottage, b in panties, b being pretty arguably “submissive,” etc vanilla or “kink”?

dasfljgf i love yr wording of “worshipping you with his words while you enjoy each other’s bodies.” i think there’s a major desensitization going on, and it’s starting by 10-11 years old. people with little masturbatory experience (or none), and no partnered experience beyond curious more than sexual exploration when quite young (that they may not even remember) or none at all, getting fucking whammied with brutal porn right off the bat. and that being most to all of what they see in sexually explicit media for years on end, seeing it in unprecedented levels with the internet both re age of first exposure, how often/how long they view it, how girls as well as boys are growing up on it. seeing brutal contacts for years, mixing arousal, masturbation and orgasm with fear, pain, cruelty, faked arousal and orgasms, violence, harm, etc and often feeling rough touch (eg overt obvious sexual assaults, sexual situations that are assented to but not wanted, sexual situations that start out wanted and become painful, scary, thinking you want and will like something only to have it feel scary, painful, unarousing, feeling broken because you didn’t like it, etc) before feeling a consistently soft touch, hearing sexy words that are kind, having all these mythologies about sex esp piv told to you in n out of porn and romanticized outside of porn (eg that all women come during it, that it’s the best sex ever, that sex=piv=sex), that that is simply what sex is and what men and women do together, erasing so much of what can happen heterosexually to the point you don’t even think it possible or thinkable, etc.

porn is about the visual too, how things look (and sound) on camera in specific ways (eg focus on repetitive penile thrusting into an orifice, make up, heels, faked porn moans), not how things *feel* emotionally or physically. how your skin rubbing on someone else’s feels. how a kiss, lick, caress, suck, squeeze, feels and how these feelings change depending on firmness n skill, emotional connection (including friendship), level of arousal, etc. how it feels to touch someone else. how it feels to stroke over their genitals. how it feels to feel intensely aroused, or to let arousal build slowly, or have it wash over you in waves. to need someone at that moment, to wrap your limbs around them and squish them to you. how it feels to feel safe and loved and comfortable and horny and full of want vs scared, detested, uncomfortable, in pain, whether or not this is mixed with arousal. you don’t get into how the people in porn feel–what is really going on in their heads? what are they feeling emotionally? how does what’s happening actually feel to them? why for all the theatrics, performing, acrobatics, etc is there so little feeling?

within a generation we’ve gone from knowing men could go months and even years without looking at porn, and having many men who did just that, and most boys and some girls furtively sneaking peaks at their dad’s or a friend’s dad’s playboy or even penthouse, maybe a softcore vhs (rip soft core porn; it isn’t made anymore by pornographers, now it’s mainstream media, eg ads, game of thrones. not that soft core was fine and dandy, but much of it is quaint in comparison to what we have now), or pornographic or smutty books to thinking that if one doesn’t look at porn regularly they’re either asexual or lying or inhibited n need to free their mind n get on that porn, and that porn and masturbation are synonymous (eg that one can’t masturbate without porn).

i remember reading one guy writing about how the sight of a girl’s pubic hair peeking out of her bathing suit would get him hard quick as a boy; now pubic hair is disgusting, and men and boys generally only find hairless vulva appealing. that’s a less extreme example of what i’m talking about, but you can imagine (and come across) the spike in interest in daddy kink, men strangling and choking women, the hetero male obsession with pia with females (and it’s connection to sadism/injury in both the advertising of it, what happens to women in porn and women and girls in relationships), etc.

and the view that porn just let’s us find out what we naturally, truly like?!? that we’re only turned on by it if it represents our True Sexuality? ha. you really mean to tell me that millions upon millions of girls were champing at the bit to call their boyfriends, husbands, male community members/mentors/teachers, celeb crushes, etc daddy throughout the millennia? that millions upon millions of women have lain awake at night, over the millennia, mourning the fact that their husbands would not strangle them and call them worthless whores and fantasizing about it endlessly, craving it?

do we really think human males as a class (as a whole) are born wanting, or needing, or truly longing to strangle, choke, shove, engage in piledriving thrusting, slap, beat, namecall, control, possess others, have sexuality centred around them and their sadism, and females as a class are born wanting/needing/longing to have that done to them, service whatever desire men have, no matter how cruel or violent, and indeed, we want it, or at least deserve it, no matter how cruel or violent? that males are born sadists and females masochists, and that is what it means to be male or female? (and if you don’t fit that mold, you’re not a real man/woman?) that all those sweet boys and willful girls are really longing to hurt and be hurt respectively (maybe with the caveat that if they are the rare exception that they are really the other sex inside)?

this is not denying psychopathy in a small per centage of males, which is largely inborn and more likely in males than females due to genetics and usually expressed more extremely (physical and sexual harm to others, rape, serial murder) in males due to greater physical strength from testosterone and gender socialization, but i hardly think most males are born psychopaths, and honestly, psychopathy and sociopathy, and serial killers, come to mind when looking at mainstream internet porn. i’ve been meaning to make a list of quotes by bdsmers and pornographers alongside serial killers without sources, asking “top/dom/sadist/porn or serial killer?” then revealing who said what, if it doesn’t already exist (been meaning to look). i do not think we, either sex, are born like this as a whole. and this is leaving aside the fact that “nature” neither means right nor inevitable. we decide how we want to live, act, treat others, can counteract how our sexuality is being shaped.

i consumed porn directed at straight men from 8-12, and it absolutely shaped my sexuality then, although since we’re talking about 1995-99, it mostly revolved around and got my sexual thoughts revolving around piv (eg thinking that’s how all women came, how i would come even though i masturbated clitorally/by humping my blanket or sweater or my hand between my thighs) with some more varied sexuality between women on the side. a couple friends of my dad had magazines–one of which had a magazine that claimed to be child porn of a 15 year old btw–that i would sneak peaks at n quickly/furtively masturbate, and i’d stay up late at night watching the ppv porn that we had one of those descrambler boxes to watch for free. i honestly don’t even remember seeing pia in any of those. now, you can’t escape it.

so back on track: i’m glad my writing hits your sweet spots in more ways than one wink wonk :P i’m digging the compliments folks :D i know what IT is with a capital I and a capital T, eh?

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mischievouswritingblog · 7 years

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WoW Fic: Of Magic and Romanticism

Title: Of Magic and Romanticism

Pairings: RavenTrust

Fic Type: Sorta AU…???, Basically WoW setting

Summary: Drinking and taking advice from Lothar are not always the best of ideas--especially both at once.

Author’s Note: Third ever published fic for the WoW fandom. :D I hope that you will enjoy!

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Lothar had to admit that Medivh’s apprentice wasn’t a bad kid. A bit naive with a tendency to be a little sassy, but his heart was in the right place at least. Better than a good chunk of those ‘spell chuckers’ from Dalaran. Khadgar was decent company when he and Medivh would visit Stormwind. He’d sometimes join Lothar for food and drink and would willingly listen to stories of battle and of his youth. (Something that many other younger folk would try to squirm out of.)

But Khadgar enjoyed listening to Lothar’s tales. The boy was like a sponge, he’d take in each story or bit of advice and let it soak it in. Mages were an odd bunch, they prided themselves on their logic yet many were still romantics. Especially with the subject of love. It was spoken of like it were some kind of elusive creature or something that only existed in novels.

It was hard to remember just how the subject turned to romance. All Lothar knew was that he and Khadgar had perhaps a few too many drinks. The boy’s face was flush and his lips were a bit loose. It was when Khadgar talked of being in love but being unable to act on his feelings that Lothar made a horrible mistake.

“Boy, listen to me!” Lothar said while setting his stein on the table. “You spell chuckers need to stop dancing around this stuff! If it’s not you, it’s Med or some other mage lamenting! It’s not that difficult!”

Khadgar stared at Lothar as though the man had grown another head. He then broke eye contact, his cheeks turning an even deeper shade of red. “B-but it’s not that easy, there are some rules and...other issues.” He then began to count off reasons on each finger. “Some mages are set up in unions to produce even better mages. Magic and emotions don’t exactly mix well. Anger, loneliness, and love are considered particularly dangerous.”

“All those are excuses!” Lothar huffed. “Honestly! What’s the worst that could happen if you just come out and say how you feel? If they say ‘no’ then you suck it up and move on. It’s far better than sitting there and stewing in the could haves and would haves! That kind of thing drives a man mad!”

Khadgar sat silently for a moment, allowing time for Lothar’s words to sink in. He fidgeted a little with the cup in his hands and looked down into his drink. Khadgar was unable to look Lothar the eye, part of him wanted to believe the older, more experienced man. “You really think so?”

“I know it!” Lothar said while pointing at the boy. “I’ve had plenty of regrets in my life. Quite a few from moments where I could have said something and chose not to.”

Khadgar was quiet for a long moment, contemplating Lothar’s advice. His finger tapped against the side of his cup before he gave a small nod. “You’re right...” Khadgar then took one more deep sip from his drink and set the stein down. “You’re absolutely right, the worst is that they’ll just say ‘no’. I’m going to tell them!”

“That’s the spirit, lad!” Lothar smirked and raised his stein in a small toast.

“Right now.” Khadgar said while standing up from his seat. He stumbled a little as he made his way towards the door.

“Wait, what?” Lothar’s smile fell and shifted into a frown. He then looked at a nearby clock, his eyes widened a little at seeing the time. Lothar started to get up from his seat to go after the boy. “Khadgar, wait! It’s almost midnight!”

“I know!” Khadgar called out as he left. “It’s perfect because I know exactly where he is!”

-o-o-o-o-o-

Lothar had begun to suspect that he might have made a huge mistake. He followed the sound of banging to the guest chamber hall. Lothar swallowed as his suspicions grew when he heard Khadgar call out to a certain room’s occupant.

“Master Medivh? Are you awake?” Khadgar called out while he knocked on the magus’ door. “I need to speak with you!” He knocked again, louder and more insistent. “Please wake up!”

Lothar was about to round the corner to go over and grab the boy but came to a halt at the sound of the door opening.

The bedroom door jerked opened to reveal a disheveled, half asleep Medivh. His long, dark hair stuck up in awkward ways, he yawned and rubbed one of his eyes. Upon seeing Khadgar the magus squinted, as though he wasn’t sure the boy was really there. The scrutinizing look then shifted into concern. “Young Trust, has something happened? Are you alri-”

“I-I’m…! I’m in love!” Khadgar abruptly announced, cutting Medivh off in mid sentence. His heart was pounding in his chest from both fear and feeling. Saying those three words caused excitement, anxiety and love to churn about in his chest like a brewing storm. His heart felt like it would burst at any moment. He looked Medivh in the eye and declared it more clearly, more confidently. “I’m in love!”

It was certainly the most bizarre thing Lothar had seen all week. It was like watching a pigeon trying to court a hawk. It looked awfully silly and it didn’t take a genius to know that it would end poorly.

Read the rest on AO3

#World of Warcraft #Khadgar #Medivh #RavenTrust #Anduin Lothar #Mischievous Fanfic #Mischievous Writings

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wineanddinosaur · 4 years

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Bar Tab Venmo May Ease the Sting of Media Layoffs, But It’s Far From a Safety Net

Push alerts are the scourge of our #mobilefirst existence, so it makes sense that Megan Greenwell had turned them off for all her most used apps. It also makes sense that Venmo, the ubiquitous platform that allows strangers to seamlessly transfer one another funds by phone, was not one of those apps.

After all, who walks the earth expecting strangers to simultaneously begin sending them funds with little to no warning? In this economy?! And yet, one fateful late-October afternoon last year, that’s exactly what happened to the editor of Wired, who had helmed the sports blog Deadspin for 18 months before resigning in protest of what she saw as improper editorial meddling by the executives running the site’s parent company.

“All of a sudden like my phone was like too hot to touch because of all the Venmos coming in,” Greenwell told me in a recent phone interview. The money wasn’t for her, not all of it at least. In fall 2019, 20 of the editor’s former Deadspin colleagues began walking off the job in a principled stand against the firing of one of their own, and the site’s fans (who included millions of regular readers per month and many NYC media insiders) wanted to show their support. Greenwell had stepped up as a digital bagwoman on Twitter, posting her Venmo handle and offering to run point on disbursement of any funds collected.

And lo, did the funds roll in. To buy the erstwhile Deadspinners drinks, strangers on the internet ultimately pooled together a “healthy five figures,” says Greenwell. (This went to more than drinks; we’ll get to that in a moment.) “I was like, ‘Holy fuck, I have to figure out how to turn off my notifications!’”

‘In lieu of a better safety net’

Such is the power and majesty of the “bar tab Venmo,” a digital-age rite borne of journalistic tribalism, smartphone connectivity, and the excruciating death shudders of an ever-collapsing American media ecosystem. It’s a fairly simple exercise: When journalists find themselves out of work, other journalists — plus rank-and-file subscribers, fans of a free press, and so forth — toss a few bucks into a digital bucket as consolation beer money for the newly unemployed.

Unfortunately, layoffs have been a nearly omnipresent specter in the media business for the entire decade I’ve been in it. (This story, in fact, is expanding on an essay I wrote for my drinking culture newsletter after being laid off, for the first time, from a media gig of my own. Fun!) In that time, as shop after shop has shed writers and editors, hard-nosed reporters and soft-handed listicle jockeys, the bar tab Venmo routine has become a bit of a funeral rite.

(Apparently this is a thing that people also did with former staffers of failed Democratic presidential campaigns, which is different and honestly a little weird to me in ways that I can’t quite put my finger on right now. Anyway!)

Given how often journalists get laid off, it’s impossible to say how many of these booze-focused fundraisers have hit the timeline since Venmo was created in 2009. But in the past few years, as the digital-media balloon has deflated in an atmosphere of impossible growth goals, video pivots, and impatient, inept venture-capitalism and private-equity opportunism, they’ve gotten bigger. Due to the site’s stature and its writers’ popularity, the drive for former Deadspinners was arguably the highest-profile of the bunch. The last year and a half alone seen has similar ad-hoc efforts for journalists at BuzzFeed News, Sports Illustrated, The New York Times en Espanol, Outside Magazine … and on and on.

“I’ve spent a lot of time over the past four years or so specifically … donating to bar tab Venmos,” says Maya Kosoff, a freelance writer and editor who, back in the Before Times, wrote movingly for GEN on “the human toll of the 2019 media apocalypse” that put 3,000 journalists out of work. (Smash cut to 2020 and that number looks downright adorable next to the toll taken by pandemic-related media layoffs, which The New York Times ballparked at 36,000 back in April. And uh, folks, things have not gotten better since April!)

“It feels like you’re trying to help your fellow peers get back on their feet at a time when there’s complete instability in the industry, and no guarantee that you’re gonna find another staff job in journalism,” she added. Bar tab Venmo “is kind of in lieu of there being like a better safety net — for reporters, writers, editors, and freelancers.”

“I don’t know where I first saw people doing this,” says Amanda Mull, a staff writer for The Atlantic whose tweet about the Deadspin walkout was among those that prompted Greenwell to offer up her Venmo handle last fall. “Maybe it was an early round of BuzzFeed layoffs? I saw people doing it, so I sent some money. It seemed like just a nice thing to do, people who are losing their jobs or who are in an unstable employment situation.”

Mutual Aid in the Modern Era

Speaking of which: As the coronavirus pandemic continues its literal and figurative death march through the American economy, rolling layoffs and gobsmacking unemployment numbers have become a de rigeur part of the national discourse. There are a lot more workers (both in the media and beyond) in unstable employment situations than ever before.

As such, new conversation has sprung forth about the shortcomings of America’s dismal system of meat-grinder capitalism and what average folks — buried in student loan, perpetually renting, and/or clinging to garbage jobs they hate because the bad health benefits they get are still better than the obscenely expensive alternatives in our cartoonishly corrupt privatized healthcare industry — can do to help each other survive. Like, beyond buying each other drinks, I mean.

Workers, neighbors, marginalized groups, and more have been passing the hat to help their own cover the costs of sickness, death, and bad luck for centuries. That’s neither new (it was a staple of 19th-century fraternal lodges), nor particularly mainstream, in the United States at least. But things are shifting, according to Max Haiven, an author and professor at Lakehead University in Ontario, Canada. Rank-and-file attitudes toward mutual aid were “changing already very quickly before the pandemic, [and they’re] changing even faster right now. … What we’ve actually begun to see is that since Covid, a lot of workers who previously were not unionized are now taking forms of collective action.”

At the very least, people seem more aware of the idea. Google Trends indicates that interest in the phrase “mutual aid” has been higher than normal for virtually the entire duration of the coronavirus pandemic. That tool also suggests searches spiked directly after a police officer killed George Floyd in the street this past spring, which makes sense because American capitalism and American racism are “different” in the sense that Bud Light and Miller Lite are “different,” which is to say sort of but also not really.

What’s the connection between neighborhood grocery deliveries and strangers paying each other’s medical bills, and random Twitter avatars throwing beer money at unemployed bloggers? Ah, so glad you asked, my dear rhetorical device!

Drinks Do Not a Union Organize

To Haiven, journalism’s money-for-booze routine isn’t quite a pure expression of solidarity — it’s long on symbol, but short on substance, and is probably predicated a bit too much on journalism’s romanticized “brand” and the popularity of individual outlets and writers to constitute real movement-building action.

On that, all the journalists I spoke with for this story agreed emphatically. “Part of me is a little unsettled by the popularity aspect of it,” says Greenwell. The success or failure of a bar tab Venmo is “not determined by who needs it the most, and it’s not determined by whose circumstances were the worst in terms of their layoff or firing or whatever, it’s determined by popularity on Twitter.”

Kosoff, who received some Venmo dough herself after leaving “new Gawker” over ethical concerns regarding the site’s leadership, echoed that reservation, warning that the practice is potentially exclusionary and even “clique-y” — words more or less incompatible with true solidarity.

Another aspect of bar tab Venmo that makes it more a “solidaristic” behavior than a true form of solidarity is that the stakes are relatively low. With the exception of alcoholics who’d be wracked with delirium tremens in the absence of drink, buying rounds for writers online is not really in the same category as, say, passing the hat to help the family of a union brother slain on the job to cover funeral costs.

And contrary to what you’ve heard, not every journalist unwinds at the end of the day with several glasses of Scotch. “Sending money for booze is a heartwarming gesture and a good expression of love and solidarity for people who have been laid off,” says Hamilton Nolan, a labor reporter for In These Times and a former staffer of the various companies that have owned Deadspin. “But speaking as someone who doesn’t drink, I would suggest that an even better practice would be just donating cash to laid off workers. They can buy their own drinks, or pay the rent.”

Still, Haiven says, if labor activism occurs on a spectrum, with strikes and solidarity actions between different unions or workers organizations on one end, “on the other end of the spectrum are these like small almost seemingly insignificant acts of mutual aid, where people say ‘actually, our fates are connected.’”

“It’s kind of a culture of solidarity that could then turn into the structures of solidarity,” he adds.

Beyond the Bar Tab

Those structures, it should be noted, are already being built both outside media — and within it. After five decades of declining union density in the United States, the digital-media industry was a bright spot in the second half of the 2010s, with a wave of successful union drives, with workers at publications like Vox, New York Magazine, Deadspin, Vice, HuffPost, Salon, and many more organizing themselves to bargain for better conditions and more stability. (Disclosure: I organized at Thrillist, another digital shop that went union in that wave. We won, but it took awhile.)

So while bar tab Venmo is an imperfect vessel for building coalition across the industry, it might act as sort of a gateway drug to more substantive acts of solidarity. For one thing, it’s more for newly activated workers to send fallen coworkers beer money with a few taps on an iPhone, than to, say, write them a check for a portion of their rent, or baby formula, or whatever.

“It’s a perfect way to say like, ‘Hey, I’m thinking about you, when we’re not close enough to say “I’m thinking about you,” so here’s 20 bucks,’” muses Greenwell. Under the guise of sending a round of send-off shots, contributors were able to offer financial support that could cover actual necessities. And it did: The Deadspin fund fueled several outings with Greenwell’s former staff, but also went toward paying months of rent and buying half a dozen laptops for those writers who had previously relied on their company-issue machines. Many of those workers went on to launch Defector, one of several promising new worker-owned media co-ops seeking to reinvent a broken business with good blogs. (Maybe the drinks helped!)

Greenwell imagines mutual aid in an ideal world simply as money doled out to people who need it most, donated by those with common cause who weren’t swayed by individual popularity or, as Kosoff put it, “the stereotype of journalists as miserable sad sacks want to drink together at the bar.” Something less like a bar tab Venmo, and more like the Journalist Furlough Fund.

Launched in late March by Seattle Times reporter Paige Cornwell as a GoFundMe, the JFF is a by-journalists, for-journalists effort to plug the gaping holes in both the media industry’s broken model and the United States’ shredded social safety net. The fundraising target was $60,000, but to date the campaign has raised over $96,000 from journalists, local businesses, public-relations pros … you name it.

Speaking on the phone while coordinating wildfire coverage in Seattle, Cornwell was intent to note two things. First: “I do this independent of my employer,” she says, noting that, though the Seattle Times has been supportive of the effort, it is not a company initiative. (The Times, for what it’s worth, is a partly union newsroom; its digital journalists are currently fighting for their right to join their already-organized colleagues, of which Cornwell is one.)

The second thing Cornwell was adamant about was something every other journalist I interviewed also brought up: The sheer deficiency of crowdfunded mutual aid, even $100,000 of it, when compared to the scope of the problem at hand. Even though the JFF is much more explicitly oriented around aid than a bar tab Venmo, it pales in comparison to the broad, systematic dysfunction of the media industry.

“This isn’t a way to make up for [a laid-off journalist’s] loss,” says Cromwell. “It’s for keeping someone from the edge.” As the administrator of the fund, she’s disbursed cash to journalists across the country for daycare tuition fees, medical bills, equipment, and more. The JFF can help some journalists in a pinch, but still, “it’s not enough,” she says.

That doesn’t mean she plans to wind it down anytime soon, though. After surging in the spring, contributions to the fund have slowed, but considering that things are only getting worse in the American media business, she’s hopeful that people will contribute again if they can — if not to “fix” the media, then at least to keep more writers and editors from the meat grinder. “Someone else can figure out how to save journalism as a whole, [the JFF] will just make sure that someone will be able to buy their daughter school supplies,” she quips.

“It’s just so ridiculous that we even have to have those conversations.”

I’ll drink to that. (Please Venmo me.)

The article Bar Tab Venmo May Ease the Sting of Media Layoffs, But It’s Far From a Safety Net appeared first on VinePair.

source https://vinepair.com/articles/bar-tab-venmo-layoffs/

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johnboothus · 4 years

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Bar Tab Venmo May Ease the Sting of Media Layoffs But Its Far From a Safety Net

‘In lieu of a better safety net’

Mutual Aid in the Modern Era

Drinks Do Not a Union Organize

“It’s kind of a culture of solidarity that could then turn into the structures of solidarity,” he adds.

Beyond the Bar Tab

“It’s just so ridiculous that we even have to have those conversations.”

I’ll drink to that. (Please Venmo me.)

The article Bar Tab Venmo May Ease the Sting of Media Layoffs, But It’s Far From a Safety Net appeared first on VinePair.

Via https://vinepair.com/articles/bar-tab-venmo-layoffs/

source https://vinology1.weebly.com/blog/bar-tab-venmo-may-ease-the-sting-of-media-layoffs-but-its-far-from-a-safety-net

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irrationalityi · 7 years

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a few of my favorite books from 2017 (alphabetized).

behold the dreamers, imbolo mbue

I cannot imagine a book that better captures the very 2017 pain of loving a country that will never love you back than this one, about a young cameroonian family fighting to stay in this country. (fiction)

brother, I'm dying, edwidge danticat

I’m ashamed to say I've read very little of danticat, but what I have read of her lingers on the experience of raising children, and allowing space for hope, in a context where black and brown and immigrant lives are destroyed so casually. her account of the lives and deaths of the men who raised her, during her first pregnancy, is the finest example. (memoir)

the color of law, richard rothstein

towards the end of this volume, rothstein makes a critical point: much like students taught about “states’ rights” in southern states, most of us were taught in our public schools and through our cultural assumptions that the residential segregation were the result of individual preferences (implying that regulation would be a significant contravention of our freedoms). rothstein makes a convincing case that is simply untrue: in our recent history and even today, our federal policies legally rewarded and enforced residential segregation. (nonfiction)

evicted, matthew desmond

you may know matthew desmond as the guy who wants to repeal the mortgage interest deduction. he’s right about that, as he is about most everything in this immensely well-researched book, but what struck me most about evicted was his empathy, its depth and its discernment. sometimes, what certain leftist writers mean by empathy is a kind of excusal of bad behavior. what desmond does is something else entirely: he lets them tell their own stories, and takes them at their word. and his conclusion is more than deserved: structural injustice is not faceless, alien force with no beneficiaries or responsible parties. just because we all see ourselves as the heroes in our own stories doesn’t mean it’s true. (nonfiction)

fates and furies, lauren groff

fates, a decades-long examination of a marriage, is the sort of volume that makes you feel like your world is expanding, even as you look to the personal, the microcosmic. (fiction)

her body and other parties, carmen maria machado

if speculative fiction is meant to make the figurative literal, her body and other parties gives shape and, and well, body to the conceptual. machado’s magnificent collection reminds me of perverse fairy tales, the kind of horror stories you may tell over the fire where the villains are patriarchy and heteronormativity and fatism. (short stories)

hunger, roxane gay

I can’t believe this book had not already been written. I spend much of my life in a state of mild dissociation, and as a consequence, the moments when I am keenly aware of my body are all the more jarring and startling. This is the rarest sort of book--one that puts words to what you experience but cannot express. I wish we lived in the sort of world where a book like hunger had always existed, but I am glad gay was the one to write it. (memoir, nonfiction)

lower ed, tressie mcmillan cottom

cottom is such a social media superstar that I began this book with a likely unfair amount of skepticism. i was so very wrong. ostensibly about the for-profit higher education sector, lower ed is really about how contemporary market conditions and our disintegrating social safety net has left all of us, whether we attended for-profit colleges or not, in more tenuous professional and financial position. this is an essential read for our time. (nonfiction)

marlena, julie buntin

some part of me is perpetually fifteen, full of ultimatums, and especially for myself. either i have always been the person I wanted, or i won’t be a person at all. in many ways, marlena walks well-trod territory, the story of a girl dead before the possibilities started getting sealed off, before you had to confront the person your rage congealed into. much ink has been spilled about the dangers of romanticizing beautiful dead girls, but i think marlena walks the fine line. buntin’s story is not a romantic one, but told through the perspective of the best friend who has a whole life left to live, it also doesn't scold girls like me for holding on to the part of us that wishes our own stories ended with such narrative force. (fiction)

the moor’s account, laila lalami

I don’t usually like books set before the twentieth century or thereabouts. I am not quite sure why but motives and reasoning always seemed to me less understandable than even the extreme psychological pull of modern ideologies. set mostly in the wilds of...um, florida, the moor’s account of an enslaved man in an ill-fated spanish expedition makes even the most exotic of contexts feel reachable. (fiction)

pachinko, min jin lee

I am an immigrant in this country, but I was never an immigrant when I was a child in japan. no one is an immigrant in japan, not even those who were brought to their shores as workers from their colonies. immigrants at least have a chance of claiming their country of choice as their own, if at great cost; koreans in Japan, even second and third generation korean-japanese folks, do not.

pachinko is an epic in the grandest sense, bridging the story between a US-educated stock broker in high-rise contemporary tokyo and an intellectually disabled farmer in what was not yet a japanese colony, not yet south korea. it's about poverty and faith and marginalization and especially, about the women who so many of us know, who have survived the most brutal circumstances, whose stories feel so difficult to understand though they were of a world not so distant from ours. It's a story that felt to me so familiar, yet that I had not heard all my life. (fiction)

the paper menagerie and other stories, ken liu

I was told this was sci fi. I do not really read sci fi, but I certainly did not know sci fi could be like this. yes, there is space travel and humans that may rightly be described as bionic, but liu’s brightest gems have to do with history and memory: the stories you hope to pass on to your child, the uncovering of histories we may rather forget, and in the volume’s final, haunting story, the literal discovery and destruction of history. this volume made me cry on a international flight (to be fair, I cry chronically at 20,000 feet), and on the mta (somewhat more embarrassing). liu reminds us that in a time and place that emphasizes self-determination, sometimes, remembrance is the most radical act of all. (short stories)

a tale for the time being, ruth ozeki

vast sections of this book, and its best parts, are told in a rather specific, first-person voice, but I like it for giving voice to a girl of the type (a literal japanese(-american) schoolgirl) easily exoticized, and her experience of a culture that’s too often window-dressing for affluent westerners. ozeki’s attention to these distinctions of outsider/insider-ness gives this novel a deftness and a capacity for holding darkness that I didn’t quite expect. (fiction)

the warmth of other suns, isabel wilkerson

I read this in the midst of one of the many moments in our history when it seemed that monuments to slavers and war criminals might finally come down, when I always wonder not about the stories that are debated but the ones that are lost: the ones wilkerson tells, about people who risked life and limb to migrate within their own country, and about how the greatest mass migration within our own borders shaped our modern human geography, foremost among them. (nonfiction)

what it means when a man falls from the sky, lesley nneka arimah

I read a lot of very hyped books this year, and yet, if I had to choose, this debut collection of short stories from a nigerian-british author is my favorite. arimah tells stories that live close to home, with simple uses of genre elements. each is a full meal. (short stories)

really hyped books that are indeed very good but you probably don’t need to take my word for it: between the world and me, ta-nehisi coates; homegoing, yaa gyasi; lincoln in the bardo, george saunders; little fires everywhere, celeste ng; the mothers, brit bennett; sing, unburied, sing, jesmyn ward

#reading list

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dropintomanga · 7 years

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A Mangaka Highlights a Popular Yet Problematic Western Bias

I couldn’t help but smile today after reading an interview with the mangaka I saw at Crunchyroll Expo. My friend, the Otaku Journalist, spoke to The Ancient Magus Bride’s Kore Yamazaki about her rise to the top in a short period of time. It may be considered to be a basic interview, but there was one question I loved from Lauren that brings out a feeling that I’ve been trying to fight against since the start of the year.

The buildup starts when Lauren asks Yamazaki about her fans in the United States.

“Orsini: Here at Crunchyroll Expo, were you surprised to discover that Americans love your work?

Yamazaki: Since I started my manga, I was drawing for a solely Japanese audience. I couldn’t have imagined that my work would be accepted overseas. It makes me very happy.

Orsini: What has it been like to meet your American fans?

Yamazaki: It’s been kind of like a dream to meet overseas fans. Regardless of whether they’re American or Japanese, it’s always a very good feeling to meet your fans.”

Now here comes THE question and also THE answer.

“Orsini: Do American fans act any differently?

Yamazaki: Japanese fans tend to transmit both the good and the bad, both positive and negative feedback, when they’re talking about their favorite author. On the other hand, overseas fans tend to harp on the good points and not talk about what they don’t like. I’m not sure whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing, or which is the better way to go about it, but in both cases it’s great to hear input from fans.”

I don’t think I recall an answer from a Japanese creator regarding overseas fans that really highlights the cultural differences in how people express emotions. Many social psychologists have highlighted how Americans are optimistic beyond belief versus Asians who tend to appreciate negativity in life. Here in America, the self-esteem and positive psychology movements are a part of its culture. You have to be happy. You should never feel bad. If you do feel that way, something is wrong with you. That’s a core belief that hurts everyone who doesn’t match up to that ideal.

Americans have a crazy case of positivity bias, in which they believe everything should be good.

Americans are uncomfortable when they are forced to deal with negative emotions. They often say “Don’t worry about it”, “It’s nothing!”, etc. And then when it all comes crashing down, they’re not sure what to do and will ignore whatever negative emotion they’re feeling. Those individuals then take their frustrations out on other people and/or themselves. Nothing matters but the end goal of whatever they have in mind, right?

I’m not going to romanticize Asian culture because it has troubles addressing mental health as well, but I wish people here learned how to accept their darkest selves. Embracing negativity is key to learning how to be a better person. If all one hears is positive feedback, it sets an unrealistic standard in their head that they’re automatically the best. They’re “special”. They “deserve everything.” And once that mentality is set, it’s hard to get out of. It invites naivety and allows a person to be easily manipulated.

That kind of thinking can lead to depression, anxiety, and possibly suicide. Add to the fact that almost everyone doesn’t know how to talk to someone going through those conditions makes it so much worse. Those folks provide the wrong kind of negative feedback that is almost always victim-blaming/shaming.

It scares me that many people chase happiness like it’s all that matters. It scares me that when people criticize each other, it comes out vicious instead of constructive. It scares me that people bash themselves like they’re useless when they do something terrible. Didn’t we have an animated movie in the U.S. about how to deal with situations like the ones listed above?

If you want to be the best at something, you need some negative feedback (that’s said in a way that encourages you to grow & refine yourself) and accept it. If there wasn’t any meaningful negative feedback, then important changes in history that improved the lives of many would have never happened. A greater sense of mental health awareness is one of those changes among many.

If diversity is becoming more valued, why not diversity of thought? Being positive all the time is not inclusive (read this if you don’t think this is the case). While being too negative is a problem, those who are defensively pessimistic provide a sense of much-needed realism that ensures that you don’t get caught off-guard by life’s complexities. I do think that this kind of negativity is what everyone needs from time-to-time because it’s usually heartfelt and comes from the right place. I wish we learned how to communicate it better though.

Say something like “I want you to do well, so maybe you can..”, Hmm, what if you can...”, “I’ve been through your situation. (Insert personal story and invoke some guilt/assurance)”, not “You’re wrong and you should be ashamed of yourself.” The latter doesn’t lead to anything productive.

For some people, life is amazing. But for most of us, it’s more bad than good. I agree with Yamazaki that while it’s still debatable whether being positive and/or negative solves existential problems, input from other people is needed because human beings thrive on being social creatures. That’s how we’ve gotten this far. Anyone who’s followed The Ancient Magus Bride knows that being someone like Chise Hatori (who has cases of being both extremely negative and positive) can be frustrating.

Being too much on either spectrum isolates us all and more importantly, it doesn’t create the kind of magical worlds found in works like Yamazaki’s that we should strive for. After all, we’re all fighting together to make something of life.

#Kore Yamazaki #psychology #anti self-help #psychology of negativity #emotions #manga #culture

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cinemamablog · 5 years

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2019 Favorites (So Far)

It’s time to reflect on the new movies that brought me happiness so far in 2019. Keep in mind, I’ve missed almost all limited releases this year and quite a few wide release titles. But of the films I’ve managed to see from this year’s roster, these 11 top the list:

1. Us

The horror event of the year, Jordan Peele’s second film takes us to a more abstract place than Get Out, where things aren’t so clearly cut into Good and Evil. Explanations only hurt the movie, at its best when ambiguities creep up and linger. Peele’s potential excites me: the worlds he creates take residence in reality, while always dipping into the fantastical. Also, I can’t begin to imagine the resulting kindertrauma had I heard Lupita Nyongo’s “tethered” voice as a child.

2. The Beach Bum

I’ve written about this movie before here, but let me stress the point: The Beach Bum is an underrated, gleeful, Floridian bop. Who knew a dolphin-watching tour could hold the potential for so much laughter and danger? Matthew McConaughey’s Oscar era needed to happen so wild and crazy movies like Harmony Korine’s could get greenlit.

3. Happy Death Day 2U

My mom watched pieces of the first Happy Death Day movie with the TV on mute and thought “it looked so stupid” and I was like “MOM. No. It’s DEEP, the sequel made me CRY.” And boy, did it. Happy Death Day 2U continues the humorous, fast-paced tone of the first film, but also places our heroine Tree not just in the prerequisite, life-threatening time warp, but also in the middle of a heart-wrenching conundrum. If you watch this movie while pregnant or grieving or both, it might make you cry a little or a lot. (Guess which two out of the four groups I was in this summer.)

4. Lords of Chaos

I made the mistake of googling reviews of this movie as soon as it ended. Apparently, actual Norwegian black metal fans HATE this movie. Regardless, I think it’s great, electric storytelling with one of the most realistic suicide scenes I’ve ever seen. I watched Lords of Chaos on Hulu and, as a non-metal fan, I enjoyed the life-and-death drama and toxic machismo of gothic boys who grow up into warped men. I appreciated how Kieran Culkin’s character personifies the insecurity of a boy playing gatekeeper while he himself only vaguely comprehends the darker elements of life and masks his innocent fascination with them by putting on a tough guy act. He also hides his insecurities by latching on to those grittier, sadder, more fucked up than him, as if their authenticity will rub off on him.

5. The Last Black Man in San Francisco

I heard the hype for this movie straight out of Sundance, but I still feel like this movie got sorely under-seen. One of the few movies the baby napped through while on maternity leave, the tenderness and love that went into the making of The Last Black Man in San Francisco flows off the screen. It felt like sitting with a friend on the porch, reminiscing about the neighborhoods that surrounded you and shaped your childhood. “Things aren’t the way they used to be,” you muse. “But were things ever the way they used to be?” the movie asks back. Much of our identity relies on the stories we tell ourselves, the ones our families tell around the dinner table, the ones we share at reunions with friends long lost to life’s changes. This movie tells the story Jimmie Fails chooses to share with you. Cherish it as if it were your own. Because once a story is shared, it becomes a part of yours, too.

6. Good Boys

I went out with my husband to see this movie, screening in the pricey theatre at the Promenade. (You know, the one with the fancy seats and the huge screen and special sound system.) I had had a hard time with the baby that day, still only days along as a parent to a newborn. And god, I needed a laugh. I put my trust in Seth Rogen’s role as producer and in return, Good Boys gave me a million laughs. I worried the movie would rely on the boring repetition of jokes along the lines of: “haha, young boys saying bad words and making sex jokes,” but that did not prove to be the case. With the combination of a pitch perfect script and effortlessly guileless performances, the laughs came easy.

7. The Lighthouse

I’ve already written about The Lighthouse here and honestly, I don’t have much more to say except that Robert Pattinson should’ve earned an Oscar nomination for Good Time and Willem Dafoe deserved the win for The Florida Project. Robbed, I tell you! Robbed!

8. Booksmart

I couldn’t be prouder of Olivia Wilde’s directorial debut. The script, written by four women (Emily Halpern, Sarah Haskins, Susanna Fogel, and Katie Silberman), treats every high schooler with respect: bully and nerd, rich and poor, booksmart and streetsmart. Most movies about teenagers claim to disparage cliques and social group segregation, but they also tend to romanticize the concept of an “In” crowd. Booksmart is one of very few that presents high school the way it actually goes down: a “popular” kid is just as smart and vulnerable as the valedictorian (sometimes they’re one and the same) and the theatre kids can be just as annoying as the rich kids with too much money to burn. While the characters share more in common than they’d like to believe, Booksmart captures the universal hopefulness and ambition of high school’s final hours.

9. Where’d You Go, Bernadette?

One overly earnest child actress nearly wrecked this movie for me, but the story stuck with me through my maternity leave and into my return to the workplace. In Richard Linklater’s latest character study (based on a novel by Maria Semple), Cate Blanchett plays Bernadette, a world famous retired architect who holes herself up in the ultimate fixer upper, earning the ire of her neighbors and the worries of her husband. Where’d You Go, Bernadette? reminds me of the quote: “An artist who stops making art is committing emotional suicide.” Once Bernadette reaches a breaking point, made painfully clear to her by her husband, his secretary, and an FBI agent, her journey helps bring Bernadette back to her architectural roots. Creating functional, artful structures is Bernadette’s greatest joy, besides the miracle of motherhood. (This mama relates.)

10. IT Chapter Two

Besides the episodic pacing that slowed the movie down, I sat through IT Chapter Two in a state of constant dread. I lived through an easy childhood, but I could still empathize with the terror of the Losers Club as they return to the site of their forgotten childhood traumas. One of them never forgot the painful memories to begin with and one can’t handle it when the past comes rushing back to him. I do wish the script didn’t spend so much time on boring old Bill. And furthermore, Amy Adams was meant to play Beverly, I don’t care what anyone says. But despite my complaints, the way Pennywise manipulates both the adults’ childhood insecurities and the fears of children kept me in an emotional state that only comes from tapping into a deep fear. Or watching several people confronted with their own.

11. Greener Grass

Another entry that I’ve written about here, Greener Grass earns its spot on my list of favorites by having some of the most original art direction, the most imaginative screenplay, and syncing up perfectly with my ideal aesthetic. (Pretty pastels, quivering smiles, and danger beneath the surface.)

That’s all folks! What movies gave you joy in 2019?

#it chapter two #greener grass #jordan peele #us #the beach bum #where'd you go bernadette #booksmart #the lighthouse #good boys #last black man in san francisco #lords of chaos #happy death day 2u #lists

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enfp-thoughts · 7 years

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Grief and Sadness😢

by @cathysongbird

Growing up, due to minimal exposure to people my age, heavy bullying, and the lack of healthy romantic relationships between my family and friends, other than despise or show skepticism about the concept of positive human relationships, it only seemed to make me romanticize the idea and crave them even more. This adoration and fascination of mankind that started shortly after my parent’s divorce allowed to become more extroverted,open,comfortable with myself, and assertive among many many other benefits. But with it coming so late, the combination of lack of exposure to Children,private life issues, and lack of explanation or understanding of common social practices, had me in kind of a rough spot. I had all the social and emotional difficulties of someone more introverted, but the more elevated social needs and persona of an extrovert. I knew what I wanted but couldn’t get it. I had become very sensitive to bullying and caused me a lot more issues then it should have, and while still trying to be myself, desperately tried to gain some friends or company. When it got too much, I moved schools, going to 5 until I eventually landed at the one I am in now. I am happier there since it is an arts school and I get to do what I love for most of the day, but I tend to make friends with older people, which makes the relationship end up being very short. But I believe here the pros outweigh the cons. Making friends and pursuing to enjoy romantic relationships is still difficult for me, having lots of trial and error and finding people to mesh with, and now that I am spending time with more adults, trying to know what is too far or not okay or what is uncomfortable is a lot, and I feel having such positive relationships with adults distanced me from folks my age again. I recently cut off what I believed to be a very toxic friend of mine, and overtime as possibly a biproduct of that and the drama it caused led to me no longer feeling happy in my old friend group and it falling apart. At the time my friends outside of that group were all about to leave for college or elsewhere, and I ended of leaving myself alone by the end of the year, with the exception of one girl who I care about dearly. But I joined a bunch of groups and activities and will be able to work soon so I am going to use those to build back my social life, and maybe try my hand at a romantic relationship when the time is right. But because of ALL THAT (sorry long one again) there have I feel been lasting effects to me. I feel like many of the physical and mental tics I have developed from lack of social skills and trauma, probably as coping mechanisms (nail biting, talking to myself, my obsession with sharpening pencils, difficulty with eye contact etc.) I will have phases of constantly needing company being miserable when I can’t, and feeling very “outside looking in” with people who I’m around. I constantly worry if I have made someone scared or uncomfortable, and as such become very self-conscious and guilty, feeling like I’ve done something wrong by how I act or talk, or constantly have to explain my actions to people (I say sorry A LOT. LIKE A LOT A LOT). I will overextend myself at times or constantly try to please and impress people to, “earn their love and affection”, and grow to overly-glorify people who I enjoy a lot, ending up ignoring possible flaws or even bad treatment torwards me from them. But I feel things are looking up and I am learning my lessons, and come college I feel all these things will come easier. But it still makes me sad thinking of all the things I’ve seen best friends and couples due on TV and movies and either won’t be or still haven’t been able to experience or do, and certain friends I still miss them dearly. I guess I just love people too much. They are amazing, yet heartbreaking creatures. Sorry, again this was really long and unorganized and it probably didn’t make a lot of sense, but these are my feelings.

#enfp #grief #ugly emotions week #submission

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runandtellthatreviews · 6 years

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2Leaf Press, $16.95

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1940939739/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_U_exRBCb7653NDE

By Dimitri Reyes

Like the poets of the Beats and Black Arts movements, the Nuyorican Movement of the 60’s and 70’s also played a large part in what takes shape as the cultural and intellectual reinvention of poetics as well as what constitutes as the performance canon for our current stage and page poets. Arguably, poetry in its nature has always been a political mechanism of feeling and the exploration of self-worth and continues to expand that definition of nature and worthiness into an art that is continuously transforming itself; especially within the past 60 years. But why is it that such a diverse, fresh, and “woke” art form like poetry has its artists (the poets) reaching back in time to an older group of writers that didn’t don a Dickinsonian or Wordsworthian last name? Especially such a subset of poetry culture like the Nuyorican poets?

If you are a poetry appreciator that remembers Def Poetry Jam like myself, you may recall familiar poets like Sonia Sanchez, Patricia Smith, Reg E. Gaines, Lemon, Willie Perdomo, and Kevin Coval reciting their pieces. These artists and others of the performance canon come from different places in the United States but all went through the Nuyorican Poets Cafe and this wasn’t by accident. The Nuyorican Poetry Cafe (or simply, The Nuyorican), established originally as a living room salon in an East Village apartment in 1973, was an intellectual space for writers and musicians of color whose work didn’t line up with mainstream academia, the entertainment industry, or the publishing industry. When the performance poetry scene became a vital element of Latinx and Black culture, the “Nuyorican Poetry” anthology was released in 1975 and by 1981, both the Nuyorican and Black Arts movements continuing unification at the Nuyorican gave it enough precedence to purchase an old tenement building. Out of the new and improved cafe, they ran the series as well as expanded their operations into community programming and became one of the premier arts organizations for POC poetry and music.

Currently, some of the most popular page poets are coming from the generation of spoken word performance, and whether or not recognized, they are arguably channeling performances in the spirits of Miguel Algarín Jr., Miguel Piñero, Sandra María Estevez, Pedro Pietri, and Jesús Papoleto Meléndez. Lots of the style and flair seen in today’s best poetry writers and performers that are “breaking new grounds” on the subjects of poverty, race, gender, and equality, all share the same facets with their Nuyorican predecessors who have been voicing these experiences since the movement’s inception— often times not even realizing the level of politics they were engaging with. Though the Nuyorican Movement is seen as an artistic and sociopolitical one, the thoughts of those within the movement were less of political stances and more of the ways in which those writers functioned within society. For example, Jesús Papoleto Meléndez, one of the founders of the Nuyorican, states in the preface to his most recent book, Papolítico:

“It seems to me that in my early development as a poet, it took quite a while to start writing “politically.” However when I review my big brown leather book where my poems are logged in the chronological order as they were created, the reader almost immediately becomes aware of social consciousness, replete in even my adolescent observations…

So even back then, my political perspective, though somewhat obscure, was a visceral rather than intellectual, experience for me. Its hypocrisy, the parent of all evil that irritates me the most because it is an ironic interplay of self-righteousness. Thus, the ironic moment, which is found in most of my poetry, has become the inspirational spark from which my imagination and sense of political conviction merge.”

Papolítico is an incredible work that showcases just how much the world hasn’t changed since his days in The Nuyorican salon. Late in the collection, Papoleto features the poem, “The Flood Came to Puerto Rico” where the poet writes, “the flood came to Puerto Rico/ & with it came the red cross/ after the flood/ to search for Donald Trump’s* golf courses/ & summer homes.” Considering the context of the current state of Puerto Rico within the past year as well as the United States’ engagement (or lack thereof) with the island, this poem is very timely as well as beautiful in its sublimity of its messages throughout. Papoleto can do what many of the Latinx writers have been able to accomplish within their work about their homeland, being able to pay homage to their places of origin without the deliverance of a negative or positive romanticizing of its cities, towns, and villages. This poem is no exception in the way the island spurs up, “the warmth of afternoon subs/ where the beautiful culture this is mine once sang sang/ its loveliness over the hills & mountains” while also balancing it with 1st world voyeurism, “the flood came to Puerto Rico/ & american airlines are taking pictures/ for their advertisements of their new lagoons/ where the kennedy family will vacation this summer.” Nor is it a coincidence that this was an older piece that was updated ever-so slightly as there is a footnote at the end of the poem calling attention to the asterisk by 45th’s name, stating that the original version in 1971 reads: “rockefeller’s summer home.”

Papoleto makes his work playfully and intently show the reader “the way.” His work also aims to trick his audience through comedy and storytelling, often times the reader realizing that the story they are reading is one of Mr. Papoleto’s lessons disguised as an inner city parable of political discourse. Finding amusement in the massive turns that can occur within story telling (the performance poet’s ace), Papolítico booms with a voice of regality in a way urban Latinx folks of New York christened and nurtured since the 70’s. Whether in New York, San Diego, or tropical Puerto Rico, we see a speaker that is fully realized in the sense of social responsibility; teaching an audience to read the volumes of truth that speaks through the cracks of city concrete. In a poem like, “For the Angel Diazes,” Papoleto puts a cop killing into a worldview perspective, using Angel Diaz as a blanketed name for any Latino (or any male of color for that matter), and allowing his poetic license to act as a tool that negotiates the complexities of cause and effect within communities.

For what was he, but a lost Soul on Earth Who wrote of himself in his prison cell, “I have no worth. My life is shit. I want to diediedie…” (one death, being enough For the living)

…

Yea! We weep openly for the death of the cop But not the death of the crook, Whose life was wasted as just the same; Society accepting none of the blame for the pain of his life, Nor excuses him itself for not saving his soul— As if he were bad from the womb, As if he remains bad in this tomb!...

...

Mothers kill their children, Fathers let their newborn sons die of hunger, while Social Service agencies turn the other cheek; as if to see if the social view is better elsewhere where there might be a different need. And all the while, its greed that feeds at this banquet of human famine.”

What is to be exemplified here is what happens when a poet puts their ear to the ground and heightens their senses. Taking a risk by critiquing the stance of a criminal and in turn creating an anti- hero of sorts, Papoleto is taking full responsibility as culture’s scribe, continuing to highlight how these systematic forms of oppression feed into gang culture and violence, not from an accusatory stance (which there is a fair share of “calling out” throughout the book) but by appealing to humanity.

Jesus Papoleto Melendez’ Papolítico is a testament to the Nuyorican Movement and what POC literature stands for in terms of awareness, equality, and historical events with perspectives and processes that continue to repeat and perpetuate. In what can be called old school poet political satire, his storytelling that can only be crafted by the savviest of abuelos, leading the listeners down an unknown conclusion until they understand they had the answer the whole time. If you are in need of sage; for someone to deliver clarity, unity, electricity, or just the classic timbre and purpose of The Nuyorican Poets Cafe, pick up Papolítico from 2Leaf Press.

#book review #jesus papoleto melendez #2leaf Press #dimitri reyes #nuyorican poets #nuyorican legends #nyc poets #puerto rican poets #poetry #poetry books

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sharkiegorath · 8 years

Text

@almaviva90 thanks for mentioning That Article, the only thing that can make me write coherently rn

I mean, God, if it’d just been called an underwhelming/bad show that would’ve been, like, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯, it’s your opinion, buddy. But personal bias aside, singling Finn out of all the characters in the series, especially the Scotland Yard arc, is??? It’s compounded by how the article doesn’t actually give any reason for why he’s included, unless you count ‘he’s like this one iconic character except not I guess’. So I’d like to examine the subconscious processes behind why Finn is listed as a Great Character while everyone else - cast and character - is disregarded, especially since positive reviews pinpointed the ensemble effort.

anyway I took this as an opportunity to Go the Fuck Off suddenly synthesizing loose scraps of information I’ve had for some time so bear in mind

“The folks who did stick with it mostly stayed onboard for Bertie Carvel’s Finn”??? Where are you getting this information? Since 2014, positive reviews and tweets mentioned the ensemble. For mediocre-to-negative audience reactions, I’d say there was a 50/50 split between people saying they only continued to watch for Bertie versus only continuing to watch for Brit. I’m pretty sure social media suggested there were more people who started watching for one actor then ended up immersed in the overall series.

Anyway. Anyway.

The reason the article loosely gives for Finn's impressiveness is silly in the first place. Yeah, he's superficially like Malcolm Tucker, they're both spin doctors who go on shouty elaborate tangents. If it's been done before, why's it interesting? What distinguishes Finn so much that he's not just a clone in a different, allegedly weaker setting - which shouldn’t be worth listing - and how can he simultaneously be so similar that the explanation relies on preexisting knowledge of Tucker? 'He's even less charming' isn't a good reason, because intensifying one trait doesn't necessarily make a distinct character. (And based on what I've seen, isn't Finn less intense?)

Oh, and the fun thing is, that implied reason why he’s a stand-out character isn’t that accurate in the first place.

Firstly: we’re socially conditioned to identify with nominally straight white men, even (especially?) when they’re jerks. We create justifications for them in the absence of explicit excuses; we perceive complexity while oversimplifying other characters, even if we feel positively about them. But I’ve seen enough mediocre TV to think Finn is above-average. Until Ep. 5, I was partially willing to view him as complex because I believed everyone else was complex, and everyone else had interesting dynamics with him. I watched along with the original C4 airing. In terms of ‘sticking it through’, no, I didn’t watch just for Finn, and I had only watched the pilot for Bertie. Finn didn’t seem *that* important in the first two episodes of the main series, it looked like he might leave in the third, and his characterisation from the fourth onwards was tied to the overall plot. It was only subsequent marketing that gave away his prominence.

The article mentions (and dismisses) Bertie Carvel’s own opinion on Finn. (Which may have been paraphrased by the interviewer, but was probably still sympathetic.) He's realistic about his characters' flaws, including unambiguously sympathetic protagonists, including those who try to take advantage of institutional injustice. For him to say something along the lines of Finn not being that bad, Finn probably isn't. Babylon takes place over around a month, under uniquely stressful events. Since Liz's escalating issues make her act 2edgier and more unpleasant than usual, I think it's fair to infer that Finn is also not acting entirely like 'himself'; we don't have anywhere near the amount of context about his personal life as we do for Liz or Richard, but we do see his seemingly stable preexisting workplace relationships. Whether any of that justifies his behaviour is up to personal interpretation.

In Babylon, lack/introduction of context is juxtaposed with the transparency debate. (Actual Critic Genevieve Valentine also noted the narrative style, I'm not desperately bullshitting here.) It's ironic having characters argue about transparency when they aren't honest about themselves. It's not a mystery show, but mundane-yet-important details about main characters' personal lives are revealed suddenly, sometimes as surprises to the audience but not to other characters, sometimes as shocks to everyone. When characters learn more about each other and adjust their opinions, they themselves become more sympathetic in the process because it parallels audience reaction. I'm insistent that the series - specifically the Scotland Yard arc - is a team effort because otherwise Finn is just an asshole bouncing lines off people who don't verbally respond half of the time, and that's amazingly boring.

There isn't much evidence that Richard is a good person or Commissioner besides the word of his best friend and an infatuated woman he barely knows. He mistreats both of them in some way. He’s not mean to his family, but he's mentioned and shown as verbally abusive towards subordinates. Delgado may have had a point, since every other hint he gives to Liz is reliable. Yet the overall audience is probably more inclined to perceive Finn as the most-likely-to-be-abusive character, even though the only evidence is A) his interactions with Liz (who's matched him since day one; arguments aren't inherently abusive and they’ve started to Calm TF Down by the end) and B) his annoyance with Tom, which only peaks in the last two episodes.

Why does this happen? Because early on, Mia says Finn is an ‘arsehole’ - never mind how they usually seem to get along. (The only time they clash, his anger isn't actually directed at her.) No one paints a heroic picture of Finn; he describes himself through fictional villains or less-than-anti-heroes. He's not charismatic like Richard. He uses big words and has a severe gum addiction. Those 'undesirable traits' are subconsciously associated with being a white collar villain, while the obviously wrong actions of police characters aren’t as strongly vilified.

Audiences are so conditioned to expect certain story beats or clichés that we automatically assume they exist, or that there's a strong connection between things that aren't inherently linked. It happens with Liz, who might be negatively viewed the way Finn views her, or through a stereotypically rose-tinted ‘strong female character’ lens. It happens with Finn...who becomes most prominent as he’s part of the arcs of white women and a Black man. In his specific case, is that why the other characters aren't interesting, while he mysteriously pops out like a fucking daffodil in the middle of a desert? After Richard dies, only Finn could possibly fit what the protagonist of a satire 'should' look like, if you shut one eye and thought satires can't be humanist and pretended you didn't see certain scenes and turned off your deductive reasoning.

The worst things about Finn are his casual -ism’s and active role in the institution. I wonder if they’re the Bad Things identified by people who view him as an archetypal career-driven sadist, or if they come to mind at all. He’s not manipulative or a jerk as a default, he’s not motivated by money or power for its own sake. He’s arrogant and abrasive - that’s the rule in his setting, not the exception. Yet he mentally registers as a flat archetype at the cost of recognising his actual pressing issues. Not seeing his deeper issues undermines his dynamic with almost every other character - which, if you’re using him as a reference point, maybe explains why they might not appear as compelling, just maaaaybe.

The trickiness of contextualization is specifically linked to Finn, who’s implied to have some sort of literary background. (Thanks, inexplicable Shakespeare bust!) In another interview, Bertie says Finn would describe himself as a ‘realist’. Finn occasionally brings up facts, but his concept of realism revolves around how other people construct their own fiction. (A neat thing about how Liz and Finn usually communicate: she ‘sells’ ideas, he gives mini narratives.)

It’s impossible to guard Richard while being honest about him or the police. Finn is opposed to Liz’s policies because their ‘story’ doesn’t hold up to scrutiny. He also romanticizes the job, but it’s in a Byronic way instead of straightforward heroism; he knows the truth is ugly and gives people more reasons to hate them, so he thinks they might as well control the narrative while they can. He frames his job as a gritty morally grey drama to justify himself - but it’s the wrong ‘genre’ and he fails to salvage their image anyway. Liz and Inglis have idealized, somewhat self-righteous perceptions of the institution, but they don’t use it to justify really bad things; their morality overrides conventional logic several times and it turns out to be the right thing, or the least wrong thing. They’re the only ones who remotely gain something they want by the end.

The emotional climax or whatever of Finn’s largely background arc is quietly admitting that he needs Liz, that her approach might be better than his, and encouraging Inglis’s interest in transparency - an interest that’ll likely have a long-term impact. Finn’s cynicism begins to recede and it’s largely dependent on them; he represents the shifting status quo, he’s an indication that they succeeded in some way. So he’s quite obviously not static and he can’t exist as effectively as an isolated entity therefore, bite me, Digital Spy.

#babylon uk #babylon meta #finn kirkwood #bertie carvel #finn is basically a fandom discourser in a fairly powerful public sector position #like i can write this shit but you wouldn't want me doing PR for a police force #that's a TERRIBLE idea #bright red cw #bright colours cw

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omglr · 5 years

Conversation

ama mgtow

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You both like feminism.

Stranger: Hi I am a MGTOW . Ask me anything . If you are seeing this message again , disconnect .

You: howdy

You: hmmm, how is going your own way treating you?

Stranger: treating you?

Stranger: whats that supposed to mean?

You: do you enjoy it?

Stranger: yeah

You: cool

You: good for you

Stranger: thanks but is that all? i thought a humans can be creative enough . ask me something else

You: what does going your own way look like?

You: did you have to move out of the city?

You: do you live on a commune?

You: is it a cool farm space with anarchist organizing structures?

Stranger: its pretty normal i guess

Stranger: no

You: or is it a bleak capitalist wet dream like galt's hidden mountain pass in atlas shrugged?

Stranger: i have no idea

You: oh,

Stranger: i have no idea

You: are you recruiting other men?

Stranger: hmm thats interesting . well not really

Stranger: but i am thinking of doing so

Stranger: like all other mgtows

You: i see

You: why did you decide to go your own way?

Stranger: because it makes the most sense to me personally like many other men

You: does the world of women scare you?

Stranger: world of women? you think thats a different world?

Stranger: well yes

Stranger: because i have things to lose

Stranger: rn

Stranger: once i dont have any

Stranger: then i wouldnt be scared prob

You: what might you lose?

Stranger: well money in the form of childsupports and alimony / my freedom in a lose sense / my happines /my kids (maybe in future)

Stranger: or maybe money to just appease a whamen

Stranger: like buying her gifts and such

You: have you ever dated a woman?

Stranger: nope not really because i never acted even if they were interested

You: are you interested in sex?

Stranger: well thats a no brainer , an average man is def gonna be interested in sex . the only major difference is that i dont mind being a virgin/celibate all my life

You: some men are asexual

Stranger: nah i am anything but asexual

You: what do you do for money?

Stranger: i am studying rn

Stranger: to give you an idea i am 19 yo

You: oh

You: that's very young

Stranger: well i am not a child anymore

Stranger: atleast not mentally

You: what are you studying?

Stranger: as compared to most men my age

Stranger: electronics

Stranger: soon transitioning into ai/ml

Stranger: and minors are physics and mathematics

Stranger: but i have a good amount of knowledge in history / philosophy / psychology and economics

You: have you considered taking a gender studies class?

Stranger: nah not really

Stranger: i will do my independant analysis of the subject

You: it might be nice to have some structure/guidance from folks who don't want you to be a virgin forever?

Stranger: from folks ? like whamen? srsly i dont care if a remain a virgin all my life. whats so bad about that?

Stranger: see i dont want children

You: what are whamen?

Stranger: so tell me why i should get romantically involved with women?

Stranger: women

You: at this moment i don't think you should get involved with women,

You: i am worried you would have issues with uh... misogyny that would get you in trouble

Stranger: misogyny? lol because i said whamen? its a slang for women in the meme community and is meant as a light hearted joke

Stranger: even if i am a misogynist i would never act on it because as i said before i have much to lose

You: so, just thinking maybe you need to round out your education with some information provided by women about women?

Stranger: ever heard of the saying women dont know what they want themselves?

Stranger: never trust a women's words

Stranger: but only her actions

You: yeah, that's what i'm talking about

You: that's the misogyny

Stranger: well its not really because its a practical solution to get laid with women

Stranger: if someone wants too

Stranger: not me

You: cool, that's fine

You: women have lots to offer besides sex

Stranger: like?

You: uh..... anything?

Stranger: so you cant come up with a single thing that women can offer besides sex

You: i just think you can't see women as people?

You: and if you can't imagine things that people do that benifit people that's weird?

Stranger: what i am saying is that whatever a woman can provide to a man can be provided by his best friends except sex and children

Stranger: if i dont want sex and children

You: a woman could be your best friend

Stranger: well its unlikely

Stranger: in most cases one or the another starts to fall for each other

You: i mean, its a self fulfilling prophecy

You: that you won't have meaningful relationships with women

Stranger: well the thing is that women can be my best friends but for the most part men are the best friends of other men

Stranger: am i wrong?

Stranger: like many women were in fact when i was younger

Stranger: but those 'friends' were actually interested in me . in essence i was the one who friendzoned them

You: ...i don't know man, judging the world off of how teenagers treat eachother is a pretty stunted outlook

Stranger: yes i know its pretty grim

Stranger: but its our reality or maybe soon to be one

Stranger: so ask me anything else?

You: when you are done school will you go your own way?

Stranger: i am going my own way rn

Stranger: and ever after

You: what does going your own way mean?

You: cause i was imagining like a lesbian separatist commune, but full of dudes and boring

Stranger: by not marrying/cohabitating/or hooking up with women . but the most important is to spread the philosophy of mgtow among men

You: what about collaborating with women?

Stranger: nah i'll hard pass

Stranger: i can do so without them

Stranger: even if i cant i would make use of them and discard them after their utility

You: lol

Stranger: to further my goal

Stranger: either by hook or by crook i will acheive what i aim for

You: what area of enployment do you think you'll end up in?

Stranger: as in field of work?

You: yeah

Stranger: well i would prob be in politics or have my own tech startup

You: and you wouldn't hire women?

Stranger: well i wouldnt need to because i said before too , i am going into ai and electronics field

Stranger: i will make sure everything is automated

Stranger: in my company

Stranger: except maybe select few jobs

You: is your mom smart?

Stranger: prob yes

Stranger: in a conventional sense

You: are there any women you respect?

You: that if they offered you a job in 2 years when you are done school that you would happily work for?

Stranger: not really except prob my sister . even then AWALT holds true

Stranger: no

You: what's awalt?

Stranger: because i dont want a family and just have to look for myself

Stranger: and thats relatively easy

Stranger: so i dont mind living on the streets if everything else fails

Stranger: or maybe in jail

Stranger: or maybe become a monk

You: uh...

Stranger: and awalt means all(many) women are like that

You: do you have inherited wealth?

Stranger: no i am fairly middle class

Stranger: atleast my parents are

Stranger: but i sure as hell need immense money for my next step

You: but if a woman at a tech company offered you a job, you'ld rather be homeless?

Stranger: yeah prob i will . i would rather have my own tech company than work in any other be it a man or a woman

You: even if it provided you training and money that could be helpful in your next step?

Stranger: and since i will soon be emigrating to china i would not be forced to do affirmative actions for women and select people (that is if its necessary) and select thembased on pure merit

Stranger: hmm maybe then i think

You: where do you live now?

Stranger: uk

You: cool...

You: brighton?

Stranger: nope

You: ok

Stranger: so anything else ? it was an relatively enjoyable chat

You: so... you enjoyed getting attention from women on an intellectual basis?

Stranger: this was by no means an intellectual conversation

Stranger: but it was amicable and light hearted one

You: lol, you enjoyed having a woman pick your brain about your expertise/eccentricity

Stranger: nah not really , i have had intense intellectual debates before

You: mildly challenging you to question your teenage misogyny

Stranger: and trust me some of the ideas put forward were stunning

Stranger: this was pretty average intellectually it was more about me personally

You: lol, alright dude

You: i mean you prombted an AMA convo

You: and didn't ask me anything about myself

Stranger: yes i know but you could have asked me about general mgtow stuff

Stranger: or its philosophy

You: but its cool i'm not particularly stunned by your thoughts

Stranger: because i didnt even bother to present them

You: yeah, i'm not that interested in it, i'm more into whats up with you

Stranger: well alright lemme ask you few questions then

Stranger: down?

You: cool

Stranger: where you from?

Stranger: nvm

Stranger: just asl

You: canada, 34 female

Stranger: hmm alright

Stranger: married?

You: sort of

You: in a ltr

Stranger: interesting

Stranger: ever been in one

Stranger: ?

You: yes, i've been in multiple long term relationships

Stranger: nah only marriage

Stranger: i mean were you married before

You: i've been married too

Stranger: yes

Stranger: thats what i was asking

Stranger: from which age to which age?

You: 22-27

Stranger: hmm thats fairly young

You: yeah

Stranger: and how long has this relationship been going on for?

You: 20-27

Stranger: how long is this current relationship been going on for?

You: 6 years

Stranger: 28 - 34?

You: yeah

Stranger: but there is not much gap between when you got divorced

Stranger: and your current relationship

You: sure

Stranger: how come you have had many ltrs?

Stranger: how many?

You: 3

You: well 4 but that one doesnt count

Stranger: and how many sexual romantice partners uptil now? i mean did you go through the 'wild phase' when you were in college

Stranger: ?

You: i'm not sure the point of this questioning

Stranger: well its very much relevant to the mgtow ideology

Stranger: if you dont wanna answer thats alright i would assume it to be in double digits

You: yeah

Stranger: yeah i figured

You: lol

Stranger: so you got married at 20 you say?

You: 22

Stranger: and can you describe your ex husband?

Stranger: as in was he average

Stranger: ?

Stranger: in looks

Stranger: dick size etc

Stranger: was wealthy

Stranger: or not and so on

You: she was a woman

Stranger: ohh thats even more interesting

Stranger: bisexual?

You: we met in college, and got married, but had had different ideas for what we wanted out of life

You: yeah, she's bi, i'm mostly a lesbian

Stranger: but how come you have partners in double digits? were it all males ? is your current partner a male too?

You: no, i'm dating a woman, we are poly

You: i had sex as a teenager too

Stranger: open relationship thing?

You: yeah

Stranger: so you hook up with men too?

You: my marriage was open too

Stranger: or only women?

You: a mix

Stranger: yeah i figured lol

Stranger: but even then

Stranger: atleast you are a lesbian

Stranger: so its better

Stranger: well that was pretty interesting no doubt lol

Stranger: do you want kids?

Stranger: are you religious?

You: i don't think i want kids

Stranger: fair enough

You: i was raised secular, but my gf is jewish and its very cool

Stranger: so you are jewish then?

You: so i might be religious

Stranger: ohh alright

Stranger: any particular hobbies?

You: idk, i haven't converted

Stranger: nah its all cool

You: drawing, writing, bikes, camping, videogames, tv, making things

Stranger: hmm so not much academically inclined

Stranger: you majored in which subject?

You: visual arts

Stranger: whats that?

You: i went to art school

Stranger: hmm alright that does make sense

You: i did Cyber-arts in undergrad

Stranger: hmm i dont have any idea but alright cool i guess

You: and interdisciplinary studies for my masters

You: yeah, its was like "tech-art"

Stranger: well i did get an idea when you elaborated a bit

Stranger: so whats your future plan?

Stranger: plan on gettinh married?

Stranger: *getting

Stranger: with her

You: make art, fight the government, live with my gf out of wedlock

Stranger: well thats a coincidence , we have atleast something in common

You: yep

Stranger: but alright i have already made up my mind about you

You: ok

Stranger: and i think you are better than most women because you atleast stay away from men

You: ha ha

Stranger: thats all i have to say

Stranger: anyways anything else?

You: its true, men don't have a lot to offer

You: me^

Stranger: well yes i agree , men are practically redundant for women and family

Stranger: but they provided something of value historically thats for sure

Stranger: but anyways thats for another day prob

Stranger: wanna ask me something else?

Stranger: any questions left?

You: yeah, well, i mean if you see a gender studies class open up, i thin you should consider taking it

You: you seem to like "intelectual convos" you can find them there

Stranger: nah lol an american mgtow did take an introductory class to gender studies

Stranger: *classes

Stranger: and did a 100 page analysis of the subject

Stranger: not to mention the fact that i defeated most of the gender studies/sociology majors in debate

Stranger: here on omegle

Stranger: and elsewhere on the internet

You: well again, i'm more interested in your reaction to the source materials and how that might help you

Stranger: why do you think i need help?

You: idk i don't want to insult you

Stranger: lol you think i really care? there is no shaming tactic anywhere that would work on us mgtows

Stranger: i am immune to it all

You: its just think a teenage guy invested hard in the manosphere is a sad way to start manhood

You: and not very healthy

Stranger: lol

You: but you'll figure it out

Stranger: it is healthy for some men atleast

Stranger: and i am one of them

You: mmmmm,maybe you are?

Stranger: and this is the best way to start manhood

You: ok, you do you

Stranger: ofcourse everyone should be able to do so

Stranger: but yeah thats that

You: cool

You: take care of yourself

Stranger: k

Stranger: and if you see me again

Stranger: just skip

You: lol

You: ok

Stranger: yeah i am serious

Stranger: i dont want to keep talking to same select group of people

You: maybe i'll pretend to be someone else

Stranger: hmm

Stranger: ok

Stranger: anyways i gotta go talk to someone else because i have limited time left

Stranger: thanks for an amicable ama

You: if you really want to get out of your bubble

You: try one of those classes

You: take care

You have disconnected.

#yikes

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ionahradicaldance · 8 years

Text

Sick and Tired of Capitalism in My Healthcare

I am here at home, just about bed-ridden (or rather couch-ridden) for the second full day in a row thanks to being sick for now the third time this month. I am acutely aware of and grateful for my privilege that I have sick leave as well as health insurance through my job. What I do not have, however, is money to cover the out-of-pocket expenses to find out why I persistently get sick. I also do not have the time—in between work, dance, school, recovery, and activism (all of which I am grateful to have in my life but, because I am working-class, I do not have the luxury of pursuing just one or two at a time)—to see a doctor.

As I and we push back against the American Health Care Act (AHCA), we need not romanticize the Affordable Healthcare Act (ACA or Obamacare) lest we get complacent in small victories and/or maintain a kind of steadfast resolve to hold onto dualistic thinking (i.e. ACA versus “something else”) that never resolves the issues for those who are impacted by these elite healthcare plans in the first place. I say this to remind that today, while there were rallies to show solidarity with families ripped apart by deportations, rallies to stop detentions, and rallies around the ACA, I was only able (from my couch) to make a call to demand Katko say no to the AHCA. When I did call, I was met with some upper-class voice—presumably a cis man—sighing into the phone to me as if I were a bother that yes, Katko would be voting no …

That is promising, knowing Katko’s wavering stances on anything that is justly in the benefit of people, but not good enough. It is not good enough because we do not know until his vote is cast. It is not good enough because the ACA, while a small bit of progress, is also not the real change we need: single-payer healthcare and the vision that healthcare is a fundamental right for all people.

While I am far from the least advantaged under these systems, I can speak only from my experience to relate that which I know to that which others experience and so, for example, my doctor chose to stop treating patients after a recent merger—common under the ACA—because she did not agree with the requirements of the new direction of the merger and healthcare in general. The ACA requires healthcare workers to bend over backward to prove that patients are getting better—under very narrow definitions—leaving already taxed healthcare workers further strained and leaving patients who do not fit those narrow definitions of demonstrating signs of improvement at a disadvantage.

I say this because as we critique the AHCA, we need to look at what it means to shift it to something more profound than even the ACA. People will die when they lose coverage if the ACA is repealed, but the ACA alone cannot be our end goal or still more people will die. Who will those people be? Poor people—mostly poor women and femmes of color as poverty tends to impact women—and women and femmes of color—the most. This is, of course, because capitalism exploits the labor, lives, and bodies of women and femmes the most. (I say this not to strip them/us of our agency—we are agential, resilient, resistant, and damn effing beautiful—but the reality is that they/we know that and the rest of the world does not always know or value that in them/us and thus the world attempts to exploit them/us.) I say this because these facts are important right now and have the ability to critique the larger systems of oppression.

I am on a search for a new doctor, not least of which is because I have some pretty significant chronic health conditions that require attention. I am trying not to be scared—truly I have many things for which I can be grateful and with some care, will probably be just fine whereas I know others may not. Without care, I probably will be fine, too, but I will just be sick. A lot. Like I am now. And that reduces my ability to organize and I cannot help but think about how the AHCA and even the ACA as the only viable alternative have so many multi-pronged approaches to trying to keep us down …

Access to healthcare is a common problem among cash poor and working class black and Native communities; poorer folks tend to have higher rates of things like diabetes and hypertension and other cardiometabolic “disorders” and the research into those statistics is problematic and faulty. It is often individual-blaming rather than system-blaming and it certainly does not attempt to widen definitions of say healthy weights and/or other health indicators to be more inclusive of poorer/working-class folks. We are not the sum of our life decisions and choices, our plans future and present, our foods we eat or drinks we drink or lifestyle options upon which we engage. We are much more than that. When rich folks develop gout from overindulgence of sugary and fat-laden foods, they usually survive those bad choices. As poor folks who often have access only to certain kinds of foods, we are blamed for eating the only things we can afford and have access to eat and are denied care to any related health conditions as a result of our lack of access. (I could go on and on about the ways in which poor folks—especially poor black communities—have written and talked about the myriad of cuisines created from the often limited choices they are given, but I do not need to add my white voice to that. There are many articles on The Root, NPR, and elsewhere that talk about black resiliency in the face of institutionalized racism in their food options and health.)

So our conundrums are not new. The ACA failed to overhaul a system that incentivizes insurance companies, unduly strains providers/healthcare workers to fix the symptoms of unjust capitalism in the industry, and burdens lower-income patients who have fewer options in terms of quality care providers to treat them. And eradicating this system will only devastate those who are most often left out of the decisions about their care. I know some folks who will lose their ACA plans and all of us will be impacted by it negatively in some way. Let us not allow that to happen. Let us not allow the ACA to be repealed, but in our efforts, let us also demand something better. In our demands—if we all demand it together— perhaps our voice will be loud enough, strong enough, brilliant enough to demand an anti-capitalist healthcare system that is about people and not profit, that is rooted in basic human rights and needs, and that starts to chip away at this shroud of exceptionalism we have about these reformist policies that benefit a few and continue to leave out or only marginally benefit the many (and many of them being cash poor and working class women and femmes, specifically women and femmes of color).

Update: moments after posting this, I saw that the repeal and replace plan did not pass. I am overjoyed with this victory, but lest we forget, it is but a temporary victory because a) another repeal shall come from this monsterous administration and because b) the ACA is not our last stop on the inclusive, accessible healthcare train. e��^G

#aca obamacare anticapitalist peoplenotprofits healthcareisahumanright eatingdisorder edrecovery ionahraqs

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