#and that they were gonna send in Anevka to seduce him

[chaos-has-theories]

I am working on a Girl Genius AU in which Agatha essentially gets raised by the Castle, and -

listen. LISTEN. I have a plan with this one so she has to be alone. But I keep cracking up at the idea of the prisoners still being sent in like normal. First of all the castle is fucking enormous - they're making their way in and through veeeeery slowly, they haven't found the master kitchen OR the bedrooms OR the library. Clearly the Castle could hold the prisoners AND one strange little girl in her private wing.

But also. The hilarity of everyone going hm this kid is really young to be sent in here and her splodey collar looks kinda different to ours but I'm sure it's fine? But how does this ditz who isn't even a minion to any of the sparks here KEEP SURVIVING??

and then my brain travels further. Megamind AU

Girl who has been born into a Atrocities family and was raised in a prison. Girl who DOES manage to break through. Girl who decides to leave the castle and explore the qorld and immediately becomes Crimes Georg.

Boy who has been trying really hard to prove himself to his father and be a hero. Boy who keeps arresting this girl. Girl who keeps being sentenced to Castle Heterodyne.

Prisoners who at this point just cheer whenever she comes back home

[professorsparklepants]

Idk if I’ve mentioned but I’m writing TWO sleeping beauty aus now, which is probably overkill but writing an au of your au already has precedent in this fandom and like hell am I not gonna take advantage of it

Sleeping Beauty au mark I (no time travel): 

Kay and Agatha Clay get taken to Castle Wulfenbach after the baron discovers Kay is a spark. Agatha, being underage and a hostage, lives at the school; Kay, being her protective older brother, throws a fit until they room together. There they meet Princess Anevka, who, after discovering he might actually know where Tarvek Valois is, semi-accidentally seduces Kay into helping her track down the lost prince in order to overthrow the baron. She and the Clays escape, head to Paris, crash, meet Zeetha, Moxana, and Tinka, ACTUALLY get to Paris, track down Gil, shanghai Colette, and find Tarvek.

Key scenes: 

Kay, every time Anevka does something creepy: [internally] WHY AM I INTO THIS????

Anevka: [gleefully looking at the heirs of the four most powerful factions in Europa] We’re going to take over the world!

Tarvek, to Gil: Ah, you must be a Wulfenbach. Anevka: [delighted gasp]

Tarvek: LOOK AT YOURSELF, SIMON! LOOK AT YOUR TINY HANDS AND TELL ME HONESTLY THAT YOU’VE MADE A DECENT LIFE CHOICE!

Sleeping Beauty au mark II (definitely time travel):

Tarvek Sturmvoraus is playing with the currents of time, and a lab accident throws him back to the Storm King’s era, where he comes across the original Tarvek, Prince Andronicus Tarvek Valois, who looks almost comically like him. After about twenty minutes of flailing for purchase that convinces Queen (!) Katarzyna (!!!) that he’s the abused, runaway son of a baron who joined Andronicus’ army, she adopts him as a playmate for her son. Several months later, a new disease runs through and kills like 90% of the household, and in the confusion Tarvek Sturmvoraus gets mistaken for Tarvek Valois. The mistake is not corrected, because Tarvek does actually have a self preservation instinct. 

Concurrently, after her brother’s “disappearance” in what was either an actual lab accident or the worst assassination attempt she’s ever seen, Anevka wheedles her way onto Castle Wulfenbach and joins the school. Over the course of the next ten or so years, she manages to take over the pecking order, discover her brother is actually his own namesake, and make friends with Gil Hotzfaller (against her own better judgement). Then, four months after Gil turns out to have been Baron Wulfenbach’s son and heir the whole time, a new spark shows up on the Castle, and turns out to have an inkling of where Tarvek went after he dropped out of history.

Key scenes:

Anevka: My father doesn’t believe in absolute primogenitor, and hell will freeze over before I let Tweedle inherit anything that belongs to me. 

Tarvek Prime: if you could send a missive to the baron-- Katarzyna: Which baron, dear? Tarvek Prime: [internally] oh no

Gil: [whispering angrily] You don’t know anything about me. Anevka: I know you’re an orphan charity case who sold my brother out to the baron to save face, even though the whole thing was your fault. I think that says a lot.

Tarvek: [tiredly] There is such a thing as digression. Van Rijn: You must have gotten that from your mother.

Anevka: You have to admit, a marriage of convenience would work for us. I look enough like my brother that you could probably muster enough interest to get at least one heir out of it. Gil, chasing her out of his lab: I’M BISEXUAL, AND WE WERE EIGHT.

Tarvek, during all the negotiations with the Heterodynes: [internally] I know this is going to go end up and probably kill me but I don’t know how it’s going to go end up and kill me, so I can’t tell anyone it’s going to go end up and probably kill me because I don’t have any proof.

Anevka, while pulling Kay into Gil’s lab: [sing-song] Guess who has a lead~?