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mercytestify · 3 years ago

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Testimony

The body is not the soul and the spirit. The soul is not the body and the spirit. The spirit is not the body and the soul. But all three entities combined make us human; man or woman. One of the many reasons why you and I are fearfully and wonderfully made.

For we are more than flesh, blood, and bones. That’s why you can talk to yourself. That’s why you can have pep talks with yourself and whip yourself out of states of lethargy, and other states of being.

But when you talk to yourself, are you always talking to yourself? When you have those mental debates, are you really alone? Or are you engaging with thoughts and emotions that are not all your own? Do you know?

Do we decide our conception? Do we decide when we are born? Do we decide how we are born? Do we decide if we should even be born? Do we choose our birth parents? Do we know who knows us so well, that He knew us even before we were formed in the womb?

Remix

You know how the desert by its very nature can make your compass dance so that you lose your bearings? Well, sometimes, life, by its very nature is like that when you take God out of the picture.

And when I rebelled against God and turned to my own ways, I lost my bearings and didn’t know it. But I tackled the confusion with elusive hope. I kept fanning the sparks of lies for flames, and when I began to suffocate in the smoke, I found something else to do.

They say, the human spirit is hard to break. But have you ever gotten to that point in life where it gets so bad that though you claim you don’t believe in Jesus, you still go down on your knees and pray to die? That point in life where grabbing life by the throat and staying alive doesn’t make sense anymore?

No? Just me?

Well, when I got to that point, that’s when God said:

“Ok, child, it’s time for you to know

that the moment you realize

that everything that has been happening

to you is spiritual

that will be the beginning

of your deliverance.”

And when I finally saw what God revealed, I knew immediately that turning my back on Jesus was the biggest mistake of my life. Boy! Am I glad that Jesus didn’t give up on me! So glad that He came to the rescue. I am so grateful, that He is solidly faithful and absolutely loving, even when I was faithless and my thoughts, words, and actions were an abomination to Him.

The moment I saw what I saw, and heard what I heard, every question I had ever had concerning this life, this existence was answered. My search for meaning ended. I found the truth I had been seeking, and it was Jesus Christ. I could not believe it. It took a while for it to sink in that believers in Jesus were indeed on the right track.

But God came to the rescue and confusion fled. Endless restlessness and dissatisfaction disappeared. Chronic diseases I had begun to accept as normal just stopped like they never existed.

Alone in my room, deliverance began to occur. As I prayed in my solitary space pleading my case, the Lord worked on me day and night, nonstop, purging my body, my soul, and my spirit of all the filth that clung to them, of everything that kept me bound and blind, of the evil that I had brought on myself through sins I harbored in my heart and practices of various forms of chakra and kundalini meditations and astrology.

I was using meditation practices to solve anger issues, to keep calm in moments of stress. That’s how it began. But the more I meditated, the more I needed to meditate. Soon, I was meditating to open my third eye, a lie from hell. That 3rd eye, whatever it is, did open, and that’s when things got worse. Using astrology to understand my personality and see into the future became an obsession.

Little did I know that astrology is actually a form of divination, and meditation is a form of mediumship. The various physical, mental, and emotional states meditation allows you to enter actually opens doors for demons to inhabit your body and soul and to torment you in ways you could never imagine possible. And getting them out is an endless battle. These practices are forbidden by God (Deuteronomy 18:10-14 ).

God is the only one who knows the future of anything

And He knows it even before it is formed.

Dedicated prayer to Jesus is the surest path to deliverance.

Only Jesus can deliver us from demons,

and His name brings them to their knees. ( Philippians 2:9)

Even if you don’t know how to pray and you ask God to teach you, He will give you the exact words to pray for your case.

Just be honest with God. Humble yourself before Him. He knows you better than you know yourself. And He loves you.

My deliverance from evil spiritual powers that held me bound was a shocking experience. I didn’t even know I was in spiritual bondage. I only knew that I was suffering mentally, physically, and emotionally. But I couldn’t clearly explain what was happening to me. I couldn’t name my problem at the time. It was strange. The truth, is strange. And it is strange because we live in a world filled with incredible lies. So much so that people cannot fathom the fact that God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, angels, and demons do exist. They are all real! I don’t blame them! I didn’t believe it too until I saw what I saw, and hear what I now hear. My life has changed forever!

At my lowest point, I isolated myself from everyone and prayed to God every day for months for help and He answered me, and helped me; He guided me, and delivered me, and healed me. I now know that He never abandoned me even when I rejected Him. I am in awe of God’s love, His patience, His generosity, His magnificence.

I am so relieved that I was wrong and that Jesus is right. He is the Son of God. Jesus is indeed the only way to God, the Father. He is the only truth. And the only life. He is the only one who can save us from our folly and our eternal damnation.

My soul and my spirit are finally at peace. The chronic overthinking has stopped. The flesh, however, is where the battle continues, as it wars against, the Holy Spirit. But He who began a good work in me, will complete it.

This life is temporary. 70 plus years is nothing compared to eternity. If God is out of your life, where will you spend eternity? Because it is real, whether you believe in it or not. Seek God, while He may be found. For all who seek Him with all their heart will find Him.

The Lord bless us, and keep us. The Lord make His face shine on us, and be gracious to us; the Lord turn his face toward us and give us peace.

#writers on tumblr #poets on tumblr #writerscorner #writerscreed #Writerscommunity #spilledink #spilled thoughts

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carriagelamp · 4 years ago

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Since it’s Pride Month, I decided this year I wanted to raid the library for a bunch of different queer books to read. Mostly graphic novels in this case, because I’ve had a hard time settling into much reading lately... thought hopefully now that it’s summer and I finally have my second shot I’ll be able to relax a bit more and dig into some heavier novels again. For now, enjoy some light, queer reads that I indulged in this June.

A Wolf Called Wander

A beautiful novel I had been hearing lots about. This story follows the young wolf Swift, who grows up knowing that he and his pack are the mountains, and the mountains are them. It’s in those mountains that he grows and learns and loves… until disaster strikes and he finds himself viciously torn apart from his family and forced out of the mountains that have always meant home to him. Forced to survive on his own. Swift then begins a gruelling journey that makes him face injury, starvation, and the everpresent danger of humans as he seeks a new place he can call home, and new people with whom he can form a pack.

This is all based on the true story of a tagged wolf known as OR-7, following the unbelievable route he took through Oregon and northern California! It was a very neat read, and I’d definitely recommend it if you enjoy stories told from an animal’s perspective because this book is a master class in it.

Bloom

I decided for June to try to read a handful of different queer books, and this was one of the first graphic novels I picked up. It is a super sweet story and the art is lovely. It’s about Ari, a boy who has just graduated high school and is now desperate to move away from his small town and his family’s struggling bakery, to join his band in the city where they hope to make it big. An agreement is finally reached: Ari’s father will let him leave, if he can find someone who can replace him in the bakery, which is how Ari meets Hector, someone who sees artistry and peace in baking. For anyone that’s read Check, Please, it gives off those types of vibes!

Boule et Bill: Bill est Maboul

Another book of Dupuis comics, because I can’t get enough of them! This one I just stumbled across and ended up reading on a whim but it was very cute. Geared younger than the others I’ve read, but still quite funny. It’s the charming hijinks of a young boy, his dog, and the family they live with. Each page or so is a different stand alone joke, a bit like Calvin and Hobbes except expanded beyond a single strip.

Chicken Run: Chicken Pies for the Soul

This was a ridiculous urge I got and had to follow. I recently rewatched Chicken Run (which is, of course, one of the best movies ever made) and felt the need to see if it had ever been novelized. Well, I found something better than a novelization! This is a chapter book with “advice” and stories written by the various characters, post-movie. It really does a good job with grasping the different characters’ voices and making something simple and funny out of it. It was very cute (and available on The Internet Archive if anyone else feels like reading something ridiculous!)

Doodleville

I picked this up on a whim and honestly, I shouldn’t have bothered. It was not very impressive. Very mediocre, awkward feeling artwork, and a story that only slightly manages to redeem it. The concept was kind of neat, and I did like how the ending came about, the rest was rather… plodding. I did not like the main character at all, her friends felt very Intentionally Quirky Aren’t We Cute :3 in a way that just tries too hard, and… yeah. Meh. It technically gets the “queer graphic novel flag” but it’s so in-passing that it feels rather excessive to give it that.

If you are interested, it’s about a world were doodles actually exist as living creatures that can be drawn into existence (the rather unsettling implications of which is never fully explored). This is all well and good, until the main character draws a monster and takes it with her to her art club... where it begins ravanging not only her doodles, but those of her friends. Together they need to work together to figure out how to stop this menace.

FRNCK v4

Phenomenal. I adore the FRNCK series, and book four wrapped up the first “cycle”, revealing several of the big secrets dogging the series so far, and changing how things are going to be able to run in the future.

If you haven’t seen me talk about it before, FRNCK is a graphic novel (a franco-belgian bande dessinée) about a young orphan, Franck, who’s chafing under the constant parade of uninterested foster parents that visit the orphanage he lives in. Determined to learn about his mysterious abandonment instead, he flees the orphanage… but finds himself tumbling through time, landing among a family of cave-people who rather reluctantly take him in and ensure this modern boy doesn’t die in the strange, dangerous new surroundings he finds himself in. You can get these ones in English as e-books, so if you want a really kickass graphic novel series to read please try these.

Haikyu!!

I’ve heard so much about Haikyu!! that I finally gave in and picked up the first book from the library. And I gotta say, it’s well worth the hype! This series really does capture the best parts of a good sports manga -- which is to say the team is filled with interesting, enjoyable character who all need to learn to pull together, boost each other’s strengths, and cover for each other’s weaknesses. Love me some found family tropes and this series oozes it in the best possible way. And then you also get some very cool action scenes as it makes high school volleyball seem like the most intense thing on earth. I can’t wait to continue it

Queer Eye

I haven’t been keeping up with Queer Eye but I was watching it ravenously when it first came out, and this seemed like a very cathartic book to read… and it really was. It had the same gentle, loving encouragement as the show. It doesn’t expect you to change your entire life, but to learn to embrace who you are, and take small steps to enhance those things. There a segment written (presumably) by each member of the Fab Five, explaining the mentality behind what they do on the show and how you can grow in those areas too. It’s very zen.

Spinning

I got this graphic novel out at the same time as Bloom, but it was the one that interested me less of the two... though that’s just because I have less interest in “real world” slice of life as a genre and this one is meant to be autobiographical. If you’re into that, you’ll probably love this because it really is stunning. Very pretty, and the format and pacing is all really well done. It’s a coming of age story for Tillie as she grows up dealing with a crosscountry move, complicated friendships, a burgeoning attraction to girls, and attending competitive figure skating classes.

This Place: 150 Years Retold

A stunning and heart-wrenching graphic novel told by a collection of different First Nation’s authors/artists, recounting oral histories about the 150 years since the colonialist formation of the country known as “Canada”. In other words, this is a post-apocalypse story, but one that really happened and that entire peoples are still fighting to survive. It’s very eye opening and beautifully told. Very strongly recommend the read, especially if you’re at all interested in history.

Torchwood: Serenity

Whoops, not technically a book. I had thought these were technically audiobooks at first, but rather they’re audio dramas that were played on the radio. Still, I decided to include one because I’ve been listening to them like a person possessed and they’re too fun not to at least mention. Let me indulge in my obsessions.

If you don’t know Torchwood, it’s a BBC series that spins-off from Doctor Who, focusing on the enigmatic and flirtatious Captain Jack Harkness, who is running the covert organization known as Torchwood, which is tasked to protect humanity from and prepare them for alien contact. It’s goofy and campy but also more adult and heavy than Doctor Who tends to get, so it is (in my opinion) a really fascinating series. Though it also has content warnings coming out the wazoo so maybe make sure it’s for you before delving in.

Serenity specifically is possibly one of the best Torchwood stories I’ve ever experienced. The Torchwood team concludes that there’s an undercover alien hiding in the idyllic gated community Serenity Plaza, and so that means it’s up to Jack and Ianto to go undercover as a happily married couple and flush out the alien without being discovered first. Even if it means being sickly sweet together, pretending to care about the local neighbourhood barbecues, and actually caring a bit too much about the Best Front Lawn competition. What is truly magical about this one, is that it manages to make it a Fake Dating AU despite the fact that Jack and Ianto are actually dating in canon. But they’re both used to dating as a pair of alien hunters with insanely dysfunctional lives, and who now need to figure out how to deal with domesticity. It is marvellous.

Wilderlore: The Accidental Apprentice

A middle grade novel that felt a bit like a cross between Harry Potter and Pokemon. It’s about orphan Barclay Thorne who wants nothing more than to be accepted in the rule-bound village of Dullshire, and live up to his apprenticeship as a mushroom farmer. He certainly wants nothing to do with the fearsome Beasts who live beyond the village, deep in the Woods or the sinister Lorekeepers that bond with them. It was, after all, a Beast that had killed his parents all those years ago. But when he finds himself at the very edge of the forest, hunting for an elusive mushroom, he is suddenly unable to avoid any of that. Not when a wild girl and her bonded dragon appear to summon a horrible Beast and end up getting Barclay bonded to it instead. Now, if Barclay ever wants to be welcomed back into his home, he has no choice but to venture into the Woods and find a way to sever the bond imprisoning him to the massive, monstrous wolf now imprinted on his body as a living tattoo.

I honestly can’t decide how I felt about this one. I feel like it’d be a really fun read for maybe a grade 5 to 7 student? I was a bit more meh about it. It was fine, but it was very hard not to draw unfavourable parallels to Harry Potter. But for a kid who’s never read Harry Potter? Or even an adult that has but is looking for something different to scratch that itch, this might be a good book to try. I’ll probably try reading the second book when it comes out.

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kingofthewilderwest · 6 years ago

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To me the solution in the The Hidden World felt disproportionate to the dangers in the film.

The movie says dragons need to leave to be safe from dangerous humans and to live optimally as wild animals. Those concepts I can get behind. Where I hesitate is that I don’t feel the movie showed these problems to be great enough to push our protagonists into the dragons-must-leave solution. I’m not saying this in anger or hate or anything, but mulling reflection of why I didn’t feel THW to be convincing in where the story needed to be most convincing.

I don’t like playing the “Cowell’s books did it better!” card because the DreamWorks franchise and book series are distantly related cousins, each beautifully unique in their own fashions. But I think it’s useful to mention the book series to illustrate my point about why THW needs a bigger sense of problem to make the movie’s solution charitable. The books also conclude dragons and humans need to separate because civilization is too dangerous for dragons; someday the species may be ready to intermingle, but it’s not this era.

But in the books, the incompatibility between humans and dragons is hammered hard. The Barbaric Archipelago is launched into a three way war between dragons who want humans dead, humans who want dragons dead, and humans and dragons who want to unite in peace. Berk is torched to oblivion by dragon armies; the Hairy Hooligans are thrown into slavery; Stoick is stripped of leadership; one of Hiccup’s best friends hesitates to support him; Hiccup flees into exiled hiding to survive; Hiccup is betrayed by family to be interrogated and tortured by enemies; Hiccup nearly loses his best friend; Hiccup watches family die sacrificing themselves to keep him and his goal alive; the entirety of Viking civilization is thrown into war-torn chaos in which the genocide of one or multiple species is a terrifying hair’s width away. All of this is compounded by the archipelago’s deep history, a history which extends into the distant past... and continues to affect the present. It’s the pact Hiccup the First made with the dragons being broken; Hiccup the Second leading a protest with the dragons he grew up with, and his own father murdering him for his “betrayal”; Furious being chained for decades, growing increasingly angry of the injustices against dragonkind; Grimbeard, guilt-ridden, hiding his King’s Things in preparation for someone who could handle the monarch mantle better; and an entire society overflowing with hostile, hateful, brutal Vikings and dangerous dragons.

So, in the books, the reason the dragons leaving makes sense and emotionally feels like the right solution is because:

The incompatibility between humans and dragons in this current time is hammered hard. Whatever environment we’re in, whatever characters we’re meeting, whatever villains we’re fighting, whatever part of the dramatic plot we’re going through, we’re constantly, concretely embedded in a world where we can see the issues between the two species. It’s obviously a dangerous, hostile world.

Hiccup spends his entire life working with dragons to improve society. He never gives up. In fact, he makes significant progress in creating a better world. Decades of his kingship he spends working with the dragon queen to try to build a compatible environment. There’s sense of accomplishment. Still, in the end, it’s a matter of civilization moving in two steps forward, one step back: they’re making progress, but it’s obvious society isn’t ready for true unity. When the dragons disappear, it’s a bittersweet but obviously inevitable solution.

The movies of course don’t need to drill into slavery, torture, and a three-way havoc-wreaking war to make their point dragons need to disappear as the most charitable solution, but it still didn’t feel as though there were danger enough to satisfyingly explain Hiccup’s choice.

The first reason for why THW’s problems don’t feel pressing enough is that the villains don’t feel embedded enough in their own world. The warlords and Grimmel sort of... float... in this universe. We don’t concretely see how they’re impacting the archipelago; they’re hunting dragons, but what do those environments look like after the dragons have been hunted down? They’re conquerors, too, so what do human civilizations look like after they’ve marched through? Where is the rest of dragonkind and humanity in this equation? The only interaction we get between the villains and their world is how they related to Hiccup; it makes them feel much less dangerous and less widespreadly impacting. Grimmel is meant to represent humanity’s hostilities, such that Hiccup knows humanity isn’t ready for dragons. But when all we see is some vaguely-shown warlords who don’t do war, and a dragon hunter who kills one dragon total in the film, it doesn’t feel like the dragons are in such a dangerous situation that their entire archipelago is incompatible with them. Once Grimmel’s defeated at the end of THW, and no one knows where New Berk is located, why can’t we resume a life where peace between humans and dragons was actually working? They might try to say it’s only a matter of time before someone else comes to endanger them again, but does the way the story presents our enemies make that feel believable?

Hiccup’s had mixed luck with humanity and its hostility. But there’s been luck. In the movie franchise, he managed to create peace by changing Stoick and the Hairy Hooligans’ minds about dragons. He managed to convince Eret, a dragon trapper, to live in a dragon utopia. He convinced Valka, an elusive vigilante who hid dragons from humans, that there could be peace between species. Sure, Hiccup didn’t convince Grimmel, his warlords, and Drago... but that’s still just about 50% of his cases. The movie franchise has shown Hiccup having notable success in convincing a good amount of powerful people that dragons and humans can live in harmony. Why would Grimmel be a breaking point? Grimmel doesn’t feel significantly more dangerous - and both he and Drago get defeated *BECAUSE* humans and dragons are working together.

We need to feel a much more overarching, oppressive, widescale hostile environment. Otherwise, it’s hard to emotionally process and logically accept that dragons are in “such” a dangerous position they need to return to the Hidden World’s safety. Are the dangers Grimmel present really so impacting and widespread for the dragons to need to flee the entire world? To me, it doesn’t feel like it. We need more sense of danger, and widespread danger, and widespread ideology, for why humanity and dragons can’t coexist.

And if we want to go beyond the movies into the comics, video games, and television series (which THW references), we have even more instances of Hiccup gaining victory. Mildew, Heather, Alvin, Dagur, Viggo, Bayana, Oswald, Mala and the Defenders of the Wing, Atali and the Wingmaidens, and the Berserkers all started off as threats but became dragon-supporting allies. Sure, there were a few people like Krogan and Johann who remained hostile until the end... but given as Hiccup has such a history of success and making successful ground, and the world has repeatedly shown it can accept dragons and live in peace with them... it doesn’t help THW’s conclusion. Whether we’re looking just at the movie trilogy or the broader DreamWorks universe, we have this issue.

HTTYD 2 hits the idea Hiccup is the dragon uniter. He has “the heart of a chief and the soul of a dragon,” who can “bring [their] worlds together.” He is the one who preached “We are the voice of peace, and bit by bit, we will change this world.” There’s nothing wrong with reversing these messages from HTTYD 2 if presented with strong enough opposition. That can be an interesting, successful move in storytelling. But THW doesn’t present a hostile-enough world, especially not widespread enough of a hostile world, to merit the conclusion “the dragons cannot live with humans - period.”

Especially not when the way every hostility has been defeated... is through the peace between humans and dragons. Again, Hiccup defeated Drago because his love for Toothless was so powerful that it overpowered the Bewilderbeast’s hive mind. The humans and dragons stood together to defeat the enemy, fight back. The Red Death was defeated, bettering lives for all local dragons and humans, because a boy rode a dragon. And THW antagonists were defeated when the dragon riders fought with their dragons (down to Hobgobblers being a help) and Hiccup helped the Light Fury save Toothless. Yes, they wouldn’t have been in conflict with Grimmel in the first place if they weren’t living with dragons. And even if we ignore the question “Isn’t that Grimmel’s blame being a hostile warlord, not Berk’s problem being promoters of positive social change?” ...which could be somewhat solved by saying “We still need to protect our own, that’s our responsibility, whatever others are doing”... the challenge is that, obviously, ideologically and strength-wise we’re seeing which way the world is turning: that in favor of a unity between species.

The second reason why THW’s problems don’t feel pressing enough is because of how the dragons’ animal needs are presented. Are the dragons really so dampened in their lives because they’re not in the wild? I don’t think the movie presents that in a strong enough way.

First, we see Berk is overcrowded to the point of ridiculousness; Hiccup has tried to bring every dragon he’s rescued here. As cool as it looks, it is a disaster and cannot keep going this direction. Hiccup’s denying it (as is a theme of the movie: Hiccup denying what needs to be done). But the issue isn’t that humans and dragons are incompatible, as this point tries to suggest; it’s that Hiccup is trying to babysit EVERY dragon he’s come across. Not every dragon needs to be taken in and domesticated. You can rescue wild dragons, return them to the wild, but still live in a society where you ride your own dragon and everyone’s happy. You can have domesticated dragons and rescue other dragons, too, without worrying about draconic overpopulation in your urban areas.

Next, the main crux of the story is highlighting Toothless and his call to the wild. Just like Grimmel is meant to be a symbolic microcosm of an overarching human threat (humans = dangerous), so does the Light Fury mean to symbolically represent the second issue (dragons = wild animals). But it’s not easy to extract an overarching conclusion (all dragons need to be free) from the one case instance we watch. So this is an issue for Toothless. But what about Stormfly? Meatlug? Hookfang? Barf and Belch? We don’t see those dragons having any struggles living a more domesticated life. Stormfly’s got zero restrictions for living with Astrid, from everything I’ve seen. It’s presented in THW as an isolated incident with Toothless, exactly because he hasn’t been in companionship with one of his own kind before. Toothless’ problem is his own and can’t be generalized to every dragon of Berk - and yet in the end of the movie, everyone just magically, wordlessly seems to come to the conclusion “oh yeah all our dragons are incompatible with our lives because they’re wild animals.”

We saw the dragons go into happier existence once they came to Berk. When they were wild animals in the first movie, they lived under the Red Death’s terrifying shadow. If they didn’t bring back enough food to the island, they would be eaten themselves. The dragons found peace, happiness, and satisfaction when they started intermingling with humans post-Red Death. Arguably, by THW’s times, dragons are the safest they’ve ever been with humans.

Yes, there’s absolutely an argument to be made that Drago and Grimmel abuse dragons (they also abuse humans, note note), and there will always be people like them popping up to abuse dragons... so it’s TOTALLY the best move for the dragons to leave... they’ll still need protection... There’s lots of logic to be had there. Self-defensive measures are the right measures to keep everyone alive. THW wants to provide that reasoning. But in light of the fact changes are happening, this is not the right point for the revelation to hit that dragons should go. From the audience’s emotional perspective, it feels “incomplete.” In the movie, characters could have had a large discussion “more dragon killers like this will just keep popping up, over and over and over, and even though we’re winning the fights, it still means putting the dragons in danger” - but I think that doesn’t get presented hard enough in THW to put the could-have-been-there believability... actually there. And that’s my point - not what THW tried to say, which is a good idea, but how it doesn’t come across as enough in its actual addressal of the topic.

Third, the reason why THW doesn’t feel pressing enough is how the relationships between Hiccup and Toothless versus Toothless and the Light Fury were handled. I’m still having difficulty finding the words to say what I mean, but I suppose I can try!

What’s meant to be shown is Toothless being drawn back into the wild. His needs need to be met there. The Light Fury is meant to represent that call back and what a wild animal needs to live a fulfilling life. When he sees her, after so long alone as the only member of his kind, his needs “click,” and he chases after what’s been missing ever since he left his kind.

For me, I feel as though this could have been handled better. Because the story put romantic undertones in Toothless and the Light Fury’s interactions (characters calling her a “girlfriend,” Toothless doing human flirtatious moves and actions, even the soundtrack providing titles like “Third Date”), it comes across to audiences in a romance > friendship angle. Hiccup, a friend of six years, isn’t enough for the Light Fury, a potential mate he barely knows. While the story wasn’t trying to make this about “friendships and romances are incompatible” or “romances are more fulfilling than friendships,” that concept still feels underlying in what THW presents to audiences.

Because of that, it feels like Toothless’ need to go back to the wild... isn’t actually a need to go back to the wild. It didn’t feel like Toothless’ life was stifled from being with humans so much as he was wanting to interact with one female. I know the movie also showed Toothless in the Hidden World, presenting himself as a “true king” (aka, what a real dragon leader can do when in a wild environment), but it was such a small part of the movie that the message of Toothless going after a female overshadows any other facets the story might have wanted to present.

To get the sense Toothless needs to be with his kind for wildness-related reasons, we could have watched him get emotionally fulfilled with others of his kind without a romantic connotation (that way, the “Am I not enough for you?” comment from Hiccup wouldn’t accidentally come across as “friendship isn’t enough”). Showing Toothless interacting meaningfully with other Furies, not just one Light Fury, and feeling particularly restless when with the humans, might have helped. His being bowed to by dragons in the Hidden World doesn’t come across as need fulfillment, after all, so it’s really just about him and our lady Light Fury.

It also might have helped to show Toothless interacting back-and-forth more with Hiccup in conflicted ways, to help us understand what he felt about their friendship. We don’t get enough of Toothless’ thoughts about Hiccup - it’s just him on the Light Fury all the time - that all of Hiccup’s selfless actions to let Toothless go end up feeling too one-sided to me. I know they had Toothless somewhat abruptly whiplash to the Light Fury to show what he needed, but the result was it was hard to feel everything Toothless should have been emoting. We got the sense he was interested in her. I don’t think we got a sense of how he felt conflicted or restricted in a human world. I don’t think we got a good sense of how this was impacting his relationship with Hiccup. While obliviousness of hurt your friend feels is a thing, the lack of Toothless engaging with Hiccup’s feelings throughout the film makes it hard for us to get a sense of his complicated situation and underlying needs.

I also think it might have helped to show more dragon society stuff. To show Toothless needing to protect his kind. This would both augment his needs as an individual, and the whole species’ needs. He’s the king of dragons, but we don’t see him restricted in helping them, or even see him feeling much need to protect them when he’s with humans. He’s focused on one Light Fury, not on concerns of where his entire species will end up or what his species as a whole will need. If all domesticated dragons need wild freedom and Toothless is the protector over them, it could have been interesting to see him interacting on that front. I could take or leave that... but... more to what I thought would help: If Toothless is the leader of all dragons and needs to protect them, it would have been nice to see his characterization and plot arc handle more with what Grimmel is doing to dragons as a whole... not just interacting with the Light Fury and being concerned when he and she get captured. Why can’t we get Toothless trying to help his whole kind integrally in this plot?

So because it turns, unintentionally or no, into this concept that Hiccup’s friendship isn’t enough, and can be quickly snapped out of when another Fury is near, it doesn’t feel satisfying that the solution is “goodbye friendship forever.” The intention is to be a moment of Selfless Sacrificial Love on Hiccup’s part to give Toothless something he uncompromisingly needs. And I LOVE Selfless Sacrificial Love. To be willing to give everything, even your own happiness, for someone you love... is the ultimate gift of friendship. But what should have been Selfless Sacrificial Love in this moment to me felt like “friendship isn’t enough.”

It’s also hard to play these call to the wild aspects, given the rest of the franchise. We see Toothless in GOTNF not go to the island for dragon-raising instincts when he could have flown there free; instead, he spends several days fishing out Hiccup’s helmet from the ocean. We see Toothless manage to break free of a natural Bewilderbeast draconic hive mind because he’s so connected to Hiccup, and fight against a dragon that his species would otherwise accept as alpha. We see Toothless destroy a tail that would allow him to get the freedom he needed... because he’d rather be codependent with Hiccup. We see the friendship needs overpower some of Toothless’ other wild animal instincts. Beyond those instinct moments, the franchise so much plays into how deep Hiccup and Toothless’ love is for each other, that THW’s a pull to the wild has to be very convincing to feel like it’s actually a greater need than Toothless’ emotional needs being met through the friendship of a lifetime.

I’ve had several people say it’s an understandable if bittersweet “growing up story” because, once we’re adults, we don’t see our friends as much. It’s important to be able to “let go” and let everyone live our lives. But that’s to the detriment of our society, not its strengths. There’s a reason younger generations are so freaktastically lonely and emotionally struggling. We’re not getting the human interactions we need. Letting go of a friendship doesn’t have to be a bad thing if you *HAVE* to leave - but unless there’s a VERY VERY VERY compelling reason to leave a friendship - staying in touch with someone will always be a plus. Human interaction is happiness. It’s not an “adult” thing to be less attached. It’s a societal problem that deals with the fact we’re not putting people as important and integral in our lives as we should be.

Wanting to stay friends with someone isn’t selfish. It’s selfish when you’re wanting something so bad that it’s to their detriment and there’s no possible compromise. THW wants to say Hiccup holding on is futilely trying to cling to something that can’t be, unless to Toothless’ detriment. However, it doesn’t feel like there’s enough to actually leave this friendship of a lifetime. Sure, Hiccup and Toothless shall always love each other, but to physically separate? Is THW actually compelling enough in how it frames Toothless’ needs... to suggest these overpower everything his relationship to Hiccup has been?

There are other reasons I’m unconvinced, but I’ll stop here. In short, I feel like neither main reason in THW for the dragons to leave was presented strongly enough that dragons had to leave. THW didn’t do enough to make the human world feel hostile enough. THW didn’t do enough to make the draconic call to the wild feel incompatible enough with humanity.

Since there wasn’t enough weight or danger or pressing issues, Hiccup separating from Toothless didn’t feel like the “necessary” solution. It didn’t feel like he had to let Toothless go. We got what it was going for, but it didn’t actually show us what it needed to make the separation feel the best course of action.

The concepts aren’t bad - they’re even lots of the same concepts of the books! - but this is why I feel a little iffy about how it was handled. Not to say it was terrible, or that I hated it. I don’t. This isn’t meant to be an angry post, because I’m not angry, but a reflective analysis. This is why I think there could have been more done to make what the story was trying to do... feel plausible.

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neven-ebrez · 6 years ago

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Supernatural's Narrative Structure Throughout the Years (Read More edition)

Supernatural has seen four showrunners (with one consistent one throughout, Robert Singer), which are: Eric Kripke, Sera Gamble, Jeremy Carver and now, Andrew Dabb. At the beginning, the show focused on a more simplistic method of storytelling; the protagonists Sam and Dean Winchester went up against urban legends while looking for their elusive father. Thirteen seasons later and this pilot season marks the only true exception to the show’s narrative structure. Starting in season 2 the show adopts a method of storytelling known as the A/B/C structure. There is a “A” plot (known as the show’s “mytharc”), its “B” plot (its character development arc, usually shown through the lens of Dean Winchester, but the show frequently, especially in its later years, shows this through others), and then finally, its “C” plot, which exists in the form of “filler episodes” referred to as “Monsters of the Week”, or MOTW for the purposes of the meta writing community. And it is through this mirrored structure that the complete story of Supernatural is told.

Dean Winchester is the show’s lens of righteousness (earlier on, but this shifts from time to time) and it is through him that the adopted structure of the show reveals both its strength and weakness. Dean has learned not to talk about his hard life and frequently when he is begged to share his feelings, they are dismissed (unfortunately by Sam, Bobby, and Cas at various points) in favor of the show’s enforcement of toxic masculinity (oh, drama!) to maintain such structure needed to support a static two lead format. Instead of Dean talking about his feelings, they are told through the show’s MOTW characters and situations. This process is referred to as “the ‘C’ plot mirrors the 'B’ plot”, discussed further in length here and here. Because of the various degrees of repression carried by our main characters, the show uses other characters to tell their stories with words. The show often also creates whole characters to represent ideas, both simple (Bela Talbot, S3) and complex (Amara, S11). Almost every character that is not Sam and Dean, especially in the seasons, is created and crafted to tell the story of them. This creates situations where the show is frequently problematic in its social message/image because it’s using a multitude of diverse often under represented characters to tell the story of two white textually straight male leads, and then later, its two most often recurring regulars. Because these things are not socially equal, the show endures quite a lot of justified criticism as a result.

Bela Talbot is the first structural case of simple mirroring being done (although her character was requested at the behest of the network, true, the manner in which they utilized her is entirely significant). I think it’s first important, however, to talk about how Kripke crafted the show using the structure. He talked about how in the end he wanted good Dean versus bad Sam. This, of course, focuses the early structure of the show to align Sam with darkness and damning decisions. All of season two pushes Sam onto a dark path exploring his cursed demon blood powers while Dean tries desperately to stop this. Season 3 introduces Bela, a narrative mirror for Dean to show what would happen to Dean if Sam wasn’t in his life. She IS DEAN, but WITHOUT a Sam in her life. And for her, this spells doom as she desperately tries to avoid the fate of her deal with a Crossroads Demon (a deal she made to avoid child sex abuse, a stand in comparison to Dean’s robbed childhood which the show would later revisit heavily in season 11). The structure of the season 3 is relatively simple. Bela was supposed to die while Dean is saved from his deal’s fate by Sam, effectively showing that while Sam is doing some dark things, that they are justified through the means to save Dean (a common moral stance Supernatural would come to depict over and over again). This, of course, doesn’t get to happen. The writers strike of 2007-08 forces Kripke to abandon this structure in favor of simply sending Dean to Hell. Our first attempt at a predictive narrative structure thus fails. It is not discarded, however, and our first successful implementation of it is in season 4.

In season 4 the writers are met with the tough task of getting Dean quickly out of Hell and so Angels are introduced. This would prove to be a major turning point in the show’s success and its ultimate current structure some 9 seasons later. The introduction of Angels, while initially desired to be temporary was fully embrace with the introduction of Castiel as portrayed by Misha Collins. This mythology introduction gave Kripke the perfect way to have good Dean versus bad Sam in the form of Michael versus Lucifer, and old tell of rebellious siblings confronting one another in an ultimate fight. Here, the show begins its ultimate structure towards this alignment, with the demon Ruby pulling Sam towards Lucifer and Castiel pulling Dean towards Michael (or, well, stopping Sam, as pulling Dean towards Michael is actually a goal of Zachariah in Season 5 instead of it being a goal of Castiel).

In season 4, all the characters (even Sam and Dean) and episodes (frequently showing the release of “seals” which bind Lucifer) are being used as functions towards a single goal, the release of Lucifer. It was a simple and clean straight forward structure that allowed flow into a cohesive storyline, which remains the best of Supernatural’s structure and storytelling even to this day imo, It also allowed individuality (and the exploration of what it means to have humanity) to blossom within the addition of Castiel (originally only slated to be a 3 episode character), though the character could still be simplified into Dean with Sam’s bad choices. Castiel would not start becoming his own character (instead of a character mirror or narrative concept) until much later in the series, though he would still be often regaled to simply serving the “B” plot of Dean, eventually getting a permanent “B” plot with him, thus cementing his importance in Dean’s life and within the show’s newer, complex structure.

Season 5 saw the end of Kripke’s vision, but with one problem. The show was getting a renewal. We can see through season 5’s structure that Kripke intended Sam and Dean to die together in the Devil’s hole, unable to kill one another due to their love. Against renewal and in an effort to salvage the sacrifice structure, we are instead introduced to Adam, a half brother who would instead receive Dean’s fate. The season builds and compounds a sense of hopeless in our characters, both desperate to not play a part in Heaven’s games. Our mytharc and MOTW episodes in season 5 exist to drive this sense of compounding inevitability. It is a structure not as clean as season 4’s but mainly because it has the same problem as season 3’s: the ending had to be changed. But meanwhile the show had another problem: “Where do you go after the Apocalypse?” It would not be a problem tackled by Kripke, but instead long time writer Sera Gamble, as Supernatural experienced its first showrunner change.

With the departure of Kripke came the beginning of structural chaos and uncertainty. Season 6 is driven by questions that seemingly have no answer against a plot that had just been done. The Apocalypse was being put back on the rails and Castiel was dealing with it mostly offscreen, unlike Sam and Dean who, as leads, got to deal with it visibly in every episode in season 5. This caused the audience to not experience the sense of urgency and desperation that Castiel is going through and it proves to be a structural weakness throughout the whole season as Sam and Dean deal with the fallout of Castiel’s righteousness in the form of Sam’s hell damage from his damaged soul in the cage and Crowley’s experiments on monsters, which is seemingly without purpose until the end of the season draws near and we finally see the importance the monsters hold. Banished of Lucifer, the recurring addition of Crowley provides the show with a central point in which Hell things will now operate going forward. This is the season in which Castiel begins the pattern making the mistakes of Sam. And it is from this point that the show’s mirrored storytelling reaches new heights, most of which are predictable, unfortunately. Just as Sam and Dean release Lucifer, Cas releases the Leviathan into the world and thus we are shuttled into season 7, Apocalypse 2.0, monster edition (instead of angels/demons).

Season 7 saw the ultimate weakness of the two lead structure, while the show headed down an already trotted path against massively failing ratings. It is here that Gamble killed off both Bobby and Castiel while dumping a massive amount of emotional baggage onto Sam and Dean from which the show (and characters) seemed unlikely to recover from, buried in the Friday Night death slot. Here, the season introduced a true structured “B” plot for Dean and Cas, but it remained in the mirrored structure only, seeing as how Cas was effectively DEAD. It is given in the form of grief and suffering, as per Gamble’s favored depiction of the show. Not only were things hopeless, but everyone Sam and Dean cared about were dead (oh look, it’s season 13′s premise as well!). The structures of Gamble era were driven primarily with a focus towards sorrow and suffering and while it’s true that the Leviathans (as compared to the totally delightful, but utterly senseless wanderings of season 6) were an interesting metaphor for corporate America’s greed and monstrosity, this did little to enrich and progress Sam and Dean as characters who were headed for anywhere except death. And it is here we enter Carver era.

Replacing Gamble as showrunner was another long time writer for the show, Jeremy Carver. Helming and writing with fresh eyes from having been away for a while, Carver era saw the dawn of a new light in the show. It is often called a reboot of the show. Castiel was back, Netflix produced a new influx of viewership, and the show had more or less cemented itself into the CW fold, renewed late and against all hope from grave of Friday night. Conventions and streaming media provided a life line that gave way to a new form of structure on the show: precised mirrored storytelling in the form of a (possible, likely) three act structure. In Carver era, (unlike its predecessors) things became driven by a repetitive thematic means and the genre of the show was shifted to something with an adventurous tone. The Winchesters were going to close the Gates of Hell! Instead of reactive, our characters were thrust into being proactive. This shifted the structure onto choice… and consequence. Every detail fed into this: pop culture references, color coding within the visual framework, characters created that represented specific emotional struggles for our characters to interact with and conquer (or die through). Season 8 is easily compared to Star Wars episode IV in terms of its place in Carver Era. While Star Wars episode IV could function as a stand alone (seeing as the show didn’t realize the introduction of its lifeline yet), it was made to function as part of a beginning of a much longer and detailed story.

Once again in season 8 Sam and Cas began to take on the role of pushing the mytharc along, with Sam completing the Hell trials to close the Gates and Cas breaking Heaven’s control over him to close the Gates of Heaven. The role of Castiel (while visually is reduced from seasons 4, 5 and 6), in relation to his relationship with Dean, becomes significant. A vast number of narrative structural mirrors are put into place to frame the relationship a certain way, and they are decidedly romantic in nature. The Dean/Cas relationship then begins to be told exclusively through interspecies romantic relationships, with a significant amount needing to break some kind of hold over a supernatural being, reflecting Naomi’s reprogramming of Castiel to kill Dean (8x11-8x17). The text and subtext of this season is further queer coded to a significant degree, evident very early on by reference to such works as Cat on a Hot Tin Roof (8x03), among many others. Carver was taking the Dean/Cas relationship very seriously and it was a showrunning decision that would drive the storyline in structure just as much as the Dean/Sam one going forward, even after his departure. Cas, meanwhile, is given a lot of structural baggage to explain away his absence as a regular instead of a lead. Not that he wasn’t crafted this way before, but soon a structural decision would come that tied both the Dean/Cas storyline and the Dean/Sam one together in a way that would prove inseparable. The choices made in the season 8 finale (with both Cas and Sam trying to leave Dean alone) are the consequences that would fester and bleed into the new season and the rest of Carver era.

Consequences. Choice. “I did what I had to…”

Under higher ratings than the show had had in YEARS, season 9 began, along with my structural meta series, The Divine Reviews, where I sought to document the show’s new structure (mostly how serious it was taking the newly active Destiel “B” plot from its former place as a grief standalone storyline). 9x01-9x03 represents a tying of the storylines for Sam/Dean and Dean/Cas in a way that makes it impossible to talk about one without the other, structurally speaking. Dean can deal with Cas leaving him, but only if Sam is alive. And when push comes to shove, Dean will sacrifice Cas’ safety and position at his side if it means the survival of Sam. The weight of this realization falls heavily on Dean and is the structural source of grief that saturates a season full of rape metaphors as Dean tricks Sam into not dying through the angel Gadreel’s possession of Sam. For the first time, the show makes it uncomfortable to side with Dean (unless you like the fact that Dean will force his will on Sam to keep him alive) and Dean starts down a dark path of self hatred the likes of which the show has never delved into to such a striking degree. This self hatred structurally manifests itself as the Mark of Cain and Dean’s decision to take it on without warning of consequence represents a significant turning point in the show’s ongoing structure. Dean begins to carry the mytharc and the metaphor within, with significant structure weight put into the fact that Dean can’t bother to feel guilt for his actions, understandable as they are. Dean and Cas thus begin a new romantic structure, one where lovers are torn apart by family duty (this is, perhaps, most laughably shown in 9x20 in the failed Bloodlines pilot episode that gives us heterosexual interspecies couple Violet/David who even mirror Destiel dialogue into their relationship of star crossed lovers separated by things beyond their control).

Post midseason finale in season 9, narrative mirrors begin in earnest that take the foreshadowing for Dean to die into high gear. These are vague and non-specific, however, with the decision to turn Dean into a demon through the Mark of Cain being made late into the season. The death of Abaddon (and the possibility that she would simply possess him) seals Dean’s structural fate, as he is killed by what it narratively represents, the block to his character development. It is here that the show hits a structural sag with season 10 and the Mark of Cain being structurally translated into a variety of narrative woes: a disease that infects Dean’s heart, a catalyst which amplifies Dean’s already weary and repressed soul, a force from which there is no destruction and no relief.

Season 10 on the whole represents a failure to find a solid avenue to character development in Dean. Supernatural didn’t know how to solve it’s own created problem. And while Dean’s death was given several avenues in season 9 from which to walk down, the same meandering does not look all together acceptable as it was before. For the first time Crowley is woven into the structural storytelling, carrying Dean away, just as Hannah does to Cas, leaving Sam alone to solve the problem “of Dean”, who is given the structural foreboding task of avoiding Cain’s fate, which saw him kill his wife and brother, Cas and Sam respectively in our structure. The season, rather than focusing on the underlining cause of Dean taking the Mark of Cain, focuses instead on Dean trying desperately to avoid dealing with the consequences of his actions. This culminates in Dean beating Cas nearly to death just as Cain kills his wife. Cas avoids such a fate, however, and begins a more passive stance in the narrative, supporting Sam, instead, who must now fill the role of Abel in our structure. By Death, Dean is ordered to kill Sam to avoid further complications from the Mark of Cain, which is revealed to be an age old lock to something ambiguously called “the Darkness”. Dean is, of course, unable to kill Sam, and kills Death instead and then we are given our final structural form of the decision to take the Mark of Cain in the form of Amara, God’s sister. Still, we are dealing with consequences of Dean’s choices, but not the underlying cause.

At this point, the Dean/Cas storyline has been given lover/wife mirrors for going on 3 seasons now. Cas is continuously coded as Dean’s “wife” by all structural elements within SPN’s mirrored storytelling. Their relationship has been given much structural depiction and weight, which continues on into season 11 against the false lover, Amara. I talk extensively about the child abuse and sex abuse mirrors involving Amara and how they relate to Dean’s stolen childhood here. It is here, after 2 seasons of the same storyline, that the Mark of Cain Dean character developmental structure has been given its final form, but sadly, would not see its end.

We see Dean’s helplessness towards his past in the form of Amara’s control over him. And with Amara comes our third sibling vs sibling mirror in the form of God versus Amara (the previous being Michael versus Lucifer and Cain versus Abel), Supernatural’s go to depiction for Sam and Dean’s histories and averted futures. The season’s structure builds towards the inevitable appearance of God to stop Amara, who has justifiable reasons to be angry as Hell. Supernatural has, at this point, painted itself into a bad corner. There’s no bigger storyline it can go to as it is faced with the monumental task of resolving not only God and Amara, but everything that their struggle represents, Dean’s stolen life at the hands of his father. For it’s conclusion, Supernatural would now face a different structural problem, however.

The network would not allow them to kill God. And while I have no absolute certainty from which to draw on here, I can only guess that either Amara was going to die also, most possibly to restore balance to the universe as Chuck’s death would cause everything to be destroyed or she was going to bring him back shortly after killing him. We never get to know the truth of the structure as Chuck is effectively only injured, not killed. And Amara makes the choice to heal him and forgive him instead of them possibly sharing oblivion together. Amara then gives Dean back the thing she determines he needs most: his mother. And it is here that Dabb era officially begins, Dabb having shadowed the running of the show at the end of the season following the mid season silent departure of Carver.

Season 12. With a character development arc for Dean already 3 seasons in the making, Dabb is given the monumental showrunning task of “where do you go after God leaving?” A smaller scale mytharc is given in place of the sweeping epic of Carver era. The British Men of Letters are introduced as a way of shaping Sam into being a leader among the American hunters, readdressing the question of what Sam can do to stay in the life and find his place outside of Dean. Dean, however, continues on the structural development path of confronting the thing that prevents him from feeling he only deserves to go down swinging. Mary is fleshed out as a person though she and Castiel continue to suffer from the show’s inability to switch to an ensemble cast, which is, at this point, a point of long regarded contention among many fans.

Mary and Cas begin to mirror each other (as we contemplate their significance to Dean) and drive the story, each wishing to make amends and give Sam and Dean a world they feel is best without either of them asking how Sam and Dean feel about their actions. This sees Mary siding with the British Men of Letters and Cas pursuing Lucifer in an attempt to cage him once more, having let him out to deal with Amara last season in another attempt to save Dean from action (Cas’ need to die for his family because he sees himself as expendable is a plot line that’s long overdue for resolution). We see Mary being made to earn her place as family through her realizing why Cas already has. It is the most passive Sam and Dean have ever been in the structure, with everything mostly driven by Mary and Cas along with the overall theme of what it means to truly love and sacrifice to earn the label of “family”. For this, Cas is given a structural death sentence. And Supernatural delivers, painfully. A portal to another world is opened up courtesy of Jack, the nephilim of Lucifer and it is here that Dabb era ultimately takes us: a new world of possibilities. The same can not, however, be said of the show’s narrative structure, which seems to be on a one way road and has been for a long, albeit slow, time.

Dean has forgiven Mary for setting him on the path to have a robbed childhood, effectively wrapping up the long drawn out Mark of Cain storyline. Forgiveness. Love. Family. New beginnings. These are the themes that run through Dabb era. Dean is finally given everything and then within the space of one episode it has been taken away. The nephilim introduces the show to once again ask the age old question: “nature or nuture?”, as Sam and Dean are forced to deal with an unprecedented force thrust upon them in their moments of grief. Like Carver before him, Dabb era looks to be using a three act structure, with Carver’s final act serving also as Dabb’s beginning. This would place season 13 quickly through the realms of Star Wars V-VI. Things are bleak, hope has quickly been lost, the lover has been taken and the family has been torn apart. A dark empire looms. And it is here that Dabb era continues.

Season 13 functions structurally as a reworking of season 12, with much the same values as Dabb’s first season, but with Sam and Dean’s desires driving the structure instead of Cas and Mary’s. A course of hope is set, one where the Winchesters can finally find a way to try and live a life that actually includes LIVING while hunting, all the while trying to hang it up for good, but realizing this may simply be an unattainable dream.

Dabb era has firmly made its bed as “Family Don’t End in Blood” and has laid in it. Mirrors for Dean and Cas continue to be a familial/romantic blend, reflective of how Dean and Cas’ confusion and fear over addressing the unquantifiable love between one another continues to bleed into the entire narrative, the show continuing to use missions as a buffer to having the characters finally have a “feelings” talk to one another. It is a conversation they both continue to fear: when Dean stops lumping Sam into his feelings, and Cas stops deflecting to a more pressing mission as a means to avoid the fear of heartache that comes with Dean simply calling him “family” or “brother” one more time. NEED over WANT.

Sam’s development into leader, however, is put onto the back burner in favor of the season’s elaborate structural examination of trauma. Sam can no longer do anything as long as Lucifer continues to linger. Like with season 12, season 13 gives the Winchesters back everything, then threatens to take it all away again. Mary’s desire to help the AU world over returning home hits the Winchesters very hard. The mission to protect people is given full focus to Sam. If Sam wants a relationship with his mom, then helping reshape the life of the hunters living in the hunting world is how he does that. This is essential. And while season 14 will drive this idea, the Mary/Sam angle is something temporarily set aside.

Trauma (from hunting, from Mary, from John, from Heaven and angels), building a family through bonds, and hope for the future all culminate as the thematic lifeblood that runs through Dabb era. I discuss season 13 further at length here. Like the two seasons before it, the theme of trauma and how to move forward from it continues into season 14 with Michael structurally translating as the trauma of bad parenting/leading upon Dean Winchester specifically. Season 13 and season 14, in many ways, will (seemingly) function as two sides to the same coin, a narrative structured to examine how the trauma of the past informs (and stagnates) the fear and hope of the future. I’ve called season 14 an accordion arc, and it is, but it’s also one that is far more natural than season 10 due to more careful planning. Seasons 13 and 14 within Dabb era function and do the same as seasons 9 and 10 within Carver era: carrying the driving conflict/mytharc (the MOC for Carver era, Michael for Dabb era) across two seasons, but to Dabb’s credit over Carver, Dabb seems to have planned for it a lot better ahead of time.

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This post was originally crafted here. It was requested under a READ MORE so I reworked it into a single new post as presented above. It will be updated when season 14 is complete.

#narrative structure #supernatural meta #please see all previous tags involving original post

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quitepossiblyknot · 5 years ago

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Embrace the pangs 💉💊

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Who pulls sugar from the shelves? No one. Number one killer, brain cells, news at 12, dead, like skin cells, on the surface, for certain, no witnesses, intricate this thread, camouflage, invisible, ingestible, processed food, pestilence, detestable. Vegetative states from Quaker oats, reprehensible. To change the whole, vegetables, heavy metals pulled, examine, tamarind, gathering chlorella, never go back to what hurt you, the circle. Burn bridges, giving access to acid is surely corrosive, notice behavior and the chain to what's toxic, reactive, active chemical, neurotransmitters, information, legible, read body language, instincts, there is this thing within that transcends imagined, logos, gnosis, sit still, a big pill, instant kill to thrill for dysfunction, the corruption in monosodium glutamate, what's true of hate is inclination to destroy others, especially over colors, paved in aluminum, refined salt, proven drugs, why once dose is serious, high fructose syrup, addiction is stricken from the records.

Getting out of bed is rising from the dead, a stretcher, strengthen your resolve, we're at war. demons on tap. Faucet. Losing our minds, ingredients in the frosting, land minds, proven in finds, find peer-reviewed research. Detox. Rebirth. These hurts aren't all self-inflicted, injustice, this disgusting government. What's bubbling. Toxins. By proxy, what we eat. Biological strategy. Dastardly deeds. Deforestation, disaster to bees, plant a garden, mentally, and if you keep yard or lawn, drawn to restoration. A nation divided, fighting, united, tied in a knot, from a bomb dropped.

Weapons are currently labeled orange 8, green 3, blue 2, Bluetooth, warning labels at the bottom, radiation exposure, no, sir. Won't stir with those in the mix, distribution of mental calamity and vanity, categorized by number, and color, none another than neo, Nazi, not so much propaganda when at a glance, the information is accessible, in the palm of your hands. Citrus red. 2. Truth is dead to those who uphold lies, times, we live in. Doors. Hordes. Condos. More rooms. Floors. More. Morse code. Opportunity knocking. We've gotten so far from who we are. Systemic. It's stemming from root. E129. E132. Indigo. In the scope. You're a target. We all are. Constellated. State of affairs. All-star. All hands on deck, cards served. Outburst. Starburst. Tartrazine. Erythrosine.

Conveniently packaged. Politics, your package. Narrative, a string. Progress, a carrot. Two wings, swing state. Think plate. You've been dished hubris. Hugest egos hear Nada. Problem. Problems. Revolving around, we're surrounded. "They live". Agents. Agent Orange. Conformists, astronomical proportions. Distortions. Dysphoria. There's a war inside. Soy. Gut flora. Hormonal imbalance. Challenged. Ask what oil they use. Canola. Monsanto. Whistleblower. Throwing up. Diarrhea, lead in the water. Disastrous. What they once painted with. Funerals. Fumes. Consumed. Cleaning products. Our ducts, inhale, the smell. Docile. Tactical. Not imagined, this is actual. At the age of sixteen seeing blistering facts, magistrates, concentration camps, ADHD, general warnings, General Mills, ads placed in close proximity to children, rainbow coalition, institutions pedophilic, drilling kids with doctrines, doctored with excessive killings, news at 11, media, an expensive field, millions for a billboard, kill more minds by design.

Like buttons and notifications, opioids, overdose of dopamine. Comatose. no one knows the noise of white lies or white noise, like voids, like Freud, Elektra complex, Oedipus complex, manifest in sex, obscure, allure. Red. You've read right. Play house. Sandlot. Sandbox. Electronic devices, Magnavox, television sets attached to our wrists, slavery, thyroid and tumors, ably fueling the system, riddled by images. Symbols. Sex. Complex. Bends. To shed light on taboo. As usual, consumers will change the channel. Amplitude of mind control. I, the toll, where we pay, where the prey are laid to rest. Emergency broadcast. This is a test. - by afroknotical ©2019

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kiliosthestarmaker · 6 years ago

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Nyehehe 1-49 >.> all of dem 😏😉

I EXPECTED THIS BUT YOU’RE GOING TO K I L L M E

The Basics1. Do you listen to music when you write?

YES, Gods yes! The inspiration! The characterizations! The playlists I listen to when dealing with a particular character I love it I crave it!

2. Are you a pantser or a plotter?

Plotter, most things have already been decided on within my stories.

3. Computer or pen and paper?

Computer, I’ll use a pencil and paper only when I have no tech on me.

4. Have you ever been published, or do you want to be published?

I’d like to be published

5. How much writing do you get done on an average day?

Interesting question, I have no clue

6. Single or multiple POV?

Kind of multiple? It’s all in third POV but we follow around different characters

7. Standalone or series?

*cackles* SERIES

8. Oldest WIP

A whole series called Ratio Cor that I finally got back too

9. Current WIP

Worlds Rejoined

10. Do you set yourself deadlines?

No. Gods no, I’d stress myself out.

The Specifics11. Books and/or authors who influenced you the most

Lord of The Rings

J.R.R. Tolkien

George Martin

Harry Potter

Rick Riordan

C.S. Lewis

My two writer friends Wolfe and Jacks

12. Describe your perfect writing space

My room, blasting with music in the morning when I have no school

13. Describe your writing process from idea to polished

Sure

A) Wake up at 2 AM with an idea

B) write it down

C) go back to sleep until you have to wake up properly

D) Write out a decent plot

E) Characters

F) World Building (My fav part)

G) Write and Feel your book

H) Make others suffer with you

14. How do you deal with self-doubts?

Music and talking to Wolfe

15. How do you deal with writer’s block?

Music, scrolling through Tumblr, talking to Wolfe and Jacks

16. How many drafts do you need until you’re satisfied with a project?

Who the heckity heck knows

17. What writing habits or rituals do you have?

Grab some food and a drink

18. If you could collaborate with anyone, who would it be, and what would you write about?

I WOULD COLLABORATE WITH @princess-east AND @stressedwolfe and it would probably either be about the gods or some action/adventure/fantasy thing and we’ve done it before AND ALSO @koalajake CAUSE THE IDEAS HE HAS

ADORE

19. How do you keep yourself motivated?

My dad expresses interest in my plots (the only family member that do), he tells me about showing it to other people at work or while he’s busy with something and the person just so happen to be there. My loves also encourage me.

there is also music

20. How many WIPs and story ideas do you have?

........ ehe well there is 1 collection, 4 series within that collection and about 3-4 books within each series sans one which will probably have more than that. Other than that...I have many, many ideas

The Favourites21. Who is/are your favorite character(s) to write?

I absolutely love writing Kilios, not only is he my favorite character, he’s just purely iconic.

22. Who is/are your favorite pairing(s) to write?

Most of my pairings are platonic as most characters are teens or children. There’s also those who have been married and are widowed now so-

OH THERE IS KOLFE I ABSOLUTELY LOVE WRITING THOSE TWO

23. Favorite author

Wait I have to choose??

24. Favorite genre to write and read

Fantasy

25. Favorite part of writing

WORLD BUILDING!!!! I SWEAR ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS BE LIKE “Hey Kilios you wanna help me build a world for this AU?” or “Hey Kilios can you help me build the world for my story?” AND I WILL BE ALL OVER THAT

26. Favorite writing program

Lmao does google docs count?

27. Favorite line/scene

From...from my book?

(Ratio Cor)

“Okay...” She hums softly as she screws on her arm. She flexes the mechanical fingers slowly before twisting her wrist. She grimaces slightly at the creaking of the joint. “Grandfather where’s the thing?”

“What thing?”

“The...the thing...uh...whot yz yt collud… THE OIL!” Kala exclaims after figuring it out. She hears her grandfather laugh. Kala huffs softly at the laughter. Her grandfather taught her the surface language at a young age. He told her it might come in handy one day, but she doesn’t understand why it would. The Markian language was harder to learn afterward.

(Working Title: Caelum Enterprise)

“That's a child.” Kai whispers. Kilios nods his head in agreement. “That’s a child.”

“Thirteen years old.” Kilios offers with a small grin. Kai’s face turns blank, and he stares at Kilios. A cold rage settles in his soul.

“So, I have to kill Zeus?” Shadow chokes on his laughter as he wraps his arms around Kai’s waist. Kilios snorts in amusement even though he knew his friend could kill the Lightning God if he wanted to.

“Now, now. Revenge is best served cold as you may know.” Kilios hums softly as they smirk at each other. Shadow and Oketh look at each other before shaking their heads in exasperation. “Zeus seems to want this kid somewhat broken down, so we’ll give the child the best childhood.”28. Favorite side character

Kai and Shadow, purely for their dynamic

29. Favorite villain

K,,,kilios

30. Favorite idea you haven’t started on yet?

Three siblings were reborn as siblings in the modern world. One problem, the ex-youngest sibling is the only that remembers their past and the evil that caused them to die before has followed them. So now, the sibling has to reawaken their siblings' past selves and strive off the evil force all alone. What will happen if the evil, instead of harming the ex-youngest sibling, takes them away to where they are treated as they should be and are loved. What happens when their siblings do reawaken and come after them? What happens if the ex-younger sibling doesn’t want to go? After all, they found love in the darkness. They found light within it as well insert King Keir who isn’t willing to let his consort be taken without a fight.

The Dark31. Least favorite part of writing

The,,, the writing part

32. Most difficult character to write

Alim??? I guess cause he’s like grandfatherly and most characters I’ve done in the past never met their grandparents??

33. Have you ever killed a main character?

Yes, even better! I’m going to kill one in one of my books!!

34. What was the hardest scene you ever had to write?

Kilios’,,,, death I’m-35. What scene/story are you least looking forward to writing?

KILIOS’ ORIGIN STORY

The Fun36. Last sentence you wrote

“Yeah, I’m alright.” She assures her grandfather after he gives her a look showing that he didn’t believe her. “So, what’s for breakfast?” She quickly changes the subject.

37. The first sentence or your current WIP

��Three creators, each lost in their own right. Their names were taken from books and erased from history. The first to come back will be the one who breathes the anger of volcanoes. Next will be the one who freezes the stars. Finally, the one with powers that are forbidden will come to light. Once together united as one. All will hail the Cold Sun.”

38. Weirdest story idea you’ve ever had

All of them

39. Weirdest character concept you’ve ever had

A manipulative character that ends up saving the world due to having the ability to see at least ten steps of ahead and calculating an infinite amount of possibilities for options due to having who is literally the concept of the creation of stars and demihumans/hybrids as a bearer (Aka Kilios)

40. Share some backstory for one of your characters

AHAHAHAHA

Kyle Evren was born from a phoenix and the Primordial God Khaos. The toddler was neither male nor female. Ze was an outlier much like the being known as Udushunamir, who was a being created by the Egyptian Great God Ea. Kyle was born to die for the Gods.

Kavya Esther was created with the body of Saiph and life was breathed into her by Astraea. Her mother was a phoenix and the Star Goddess Astraea. Kavya was very radiant and creatures of all sizes tended to flock to her. The child was kind and lovely. Kavya was born to die for the Gods.

Kit Keir was born from a phoenix and the Hindu Celestial Deity known as Rahu. Kit was both male and female. Due to cer odd parentage, Kit gained both sexes from cer parents. Kit was a very elusive and dreamish teen. Ce would often be found drifting off into cer own little world without a care of anyone around cem. Kit was born to die for the Gods.

Kilios Caelum was born from the ashes of who he used to be. He was ruthless and tired. He was angry at what he’s been through. He swore to rise far above what he attempted to accomplish beforehand. He would build an empire, he would rise to the sky. Kilios refused to die for the Gods.

The Rest of It41. Any advice for new/beginning/young writers?

Jot down any idea you have, no matter how vague or bizarre it is, write it down.Research, for the love of the gods, research whatever you need for your book and please please use multiple sites.Talk to other writers and ask for input, it’s alright to be nervous so just message them privately. Hell, you can ask me I’m always up for learning about new writers.

42. How do you feel about love triangles?

As long as it makes sense and doesn’t cause the main plot to be pushed as a subplot I’m good with it fam

43. What do you do if/when characters don’t follow the outline?

Mutter dark threats under my breath and curse my characters for putting me in the backseat of my own damn writing.

44. How much research do you do?

Literally, a third of my whole writing process is contributed to pure research.

45. How much world building do you do?

By the time I’m done, if someone finds it they’d think I just found the world and wrote down what the people told me.

46. Do you reread your own stories?

Yes and it’s physically painful

47. Best way to procrastinate

Youtube and Drawing

48. What’s the most self-insert character/scene you’ve ever written?

KILIOS IS LITERALLY ME THEN HE WENT OFF AND GOT HIS OWN STORY THE BASTARD

49. Which character would you most want to be friends with, if they were real?

All of them because they are my children and I love them.

#kilios answers #my king 💜🐺🎃💜#has killed me #writer's asks

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thedancingwalrus-blog · 7 years ago

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I am attempting this meme thing. I hope I’ve got it right.

Rules are:

· Post the rules

· Answer the questions given to you by the tagger

· Write 11 questions of your own

· And tag 11 people

1. if you were Not A Mammal, what (other) animal would you be?

Could I be the kea-bird? I very much like the kea bird. You see I have a lot of admiration for any animal that has figured out a way to snowboard, have snow ball fights and also kill things several dozen times its size so it can eat their kidneys. :)

New Zealand is insane and I love it.

2. what AU would you kill to see someone write about your OTP?

Hmmmmm well first I need to decide what my OTP is.

I write a lot of different ships. Like I checked my AO3 tags just now and the biggest number I have for one ship is 3 fics. The vast majority of those fics are AUs so there’s a certain amount that if I want a pairing and AU I write it myself because I don’t expect other people to be interested in what I am.

I’m honestly struggling to think of one pairing to put down let alone an AU for them.

I would be like Golem and want them ALL. MINE! MY PRECIOUS!

*ahem*

I love Lena Luthor/Supergirl to a ridiculous degree but don’t have any particular AU urges with them.

I think I’d really love to see an AU where Alex Danvers and M’gann Morzz were a couple, a long, emotionally intense slow burn, dealing with M’gann’s PTSD and Alex’s desire for a family and everything happening on Mars.

Having just watched the latest Star Wars and the Doctor Who Christmas Special I’d also really love to see the AU where the Doctor and Bill show up right at the end of The Last Jedi and Bill’s incredible whirlwind romance with Rose.

3. do you like crossover fics/stories? (e.g., blending marvel and dc?) why or why not?

Considering how many of them I write I don’t actually read a lot of them.

I like writing them because doing them well requires that extra level of thought: how do the worlds overlap? How do the characters interact? Is there anything from either world that doesn’t fit and can it be reconciled?

As much as it’s slow going I’m loving writing the Batman/Iron man crossover with my partner. For me fiction should be talking about something, no matter how light the story and no matter whether it’s publishable or not. I really like the way we’ve used Bruce and Tony to talk about different approaches to social problems, a sort of ground-up personal approach versus a top-down at a remove approach. I don’t think we could have done so well outside of a crossover.

But that extra complexity is probably why I don’t read a lot of them. With my health problems over the past year-and-change I’ve found it difficult to dedicate time and focus to reading other people’s fiction. And given the choice between reading and writing I’ll always go for writing.

4. what’s the last piece of fiction you read that you would recommend?

Heh, yeah I’m not sure what the last book I finished and enjoyed was. My difficulty focusing over the year has meant a lot of books were started and put down again, no matter how good they were.

I also read a lot of non-fiction rather than fiction.

Generally though here are some I managed through mental health problems and probably give an idea of how eclectic my reading is-

The Lord Peter Wimsey Series by Dorothy L Sayers.

· These were written in the 1920s and there are some issues with racist language as a result. But by Gods they’re brilliant. Startlingly original mysteries that don’t always turn out to be murders, excellent, varied female characters, a mentally ill protagonist, a wealth of disabled characters, memorable descriptions. They’re worth a read.

Ancillary Justice by Ann Leckie

· Best sci fi book I’ve read in a very very long time. Excellent plot. Wonderful lightness of touch when it comes to world building. And an intensely personal, emotional focus. It’s essentially the story of a loyal soldier plotting to kill the head of their nation, not out of any moral compulsion or difference of opinion but because she killed someone the soldier loved. Powerful stuff.

5. your thoughts about poetry? Do you write it?

Poetry is excellent but I never write it myself.

I find it’s a wonderful way to summarise intense emotion. I memorise a lot of it (for which we broadly blame Saudi) and quote it fairly often. My favourites are Sassoon, Sappho and Rumi. I dip into Byron occasionally and I have a compass engraved with The Road Less Travelled By.

I’m also a big fan of the Sagas but obviously they lose a lot of the meter in translation. I’m thinking of trying to learn Lokasenna in the original because I think it would be satisfying to growl at people. I’ve got a copy of Beowulf in Old English that I go back to every so often to look at the language. One day I shall have the courage to read it aloud as it was supposed to be.

6. what’s one period of history (from any place) you find interesting and want to either learn more about or teach others about?

I have to choose ONE?!

I mean it’s sort of obvious but also I think the only reason this is counted as ‘one’ thing by a lot of people is bloody Western bias not taking the entire African continent seriously.

West African pre-colonial history.

For godssakes if you’re making the slightest pretence at understanding the New World you should know the basics. It feeds into so much Caribbean, Brazilian and US history. It shaped wars in Brazil and Cuba and Haiti.

It's also a wonderful contrast to Western philosophical schools. There are completely different concepts about deities, kingship, gender and souls.

And honestly? I just think it's really interesting and really under appreciated. I really love learning more about it and I wish more people learnt about it.

7. salty or sweet?

Sweet. No sweeter. Sweeter than that. Look just pass me the fucking sugar already I’ll handle this.

Wait- This is about food right? This isn’t that weird American thing of assigning flavours to emotions and behaviours?

Are you trying to confuse me so you can take the coffee? I see through your cunning ruse and the caffeine is mine. Yes.

8. feelings about gift-giving? Enjoy it? Find it burdensome? Think it’s too commercial? Ritualized? Etc?

Well…of course it’s ritualised but that doesn’t make it wrong. Rituals are a large part of what holds us together.

I like gift giving. It appeals to the old fashioned part of me and I think it’s a good way of reinforcing social ties and showing appreciate of others. Sure it can be difficult, but I enjoy the exchange.

At least when it is actually focused on the person getting the gift rather than just some generic expensive thing for the sake of it.

9. vampires: yay or nay?

-the Queen of air and darkness

begins to shrill and cry,

Oh young man oh my slayer,

Tomorrow you shall die.

Oh Queen of air and darkness

I think it’s true you say,

And I shall die tomorrow

But you will die today.

10. what’s one trope you love and can’t get enough of, no matter the medium in which it arises (tv, film, fic, etc)?

Hmmm difficult.

I really like seeing characters who are genuinely very different, with different backgrounds and beliefs coming together to do the right thing. That's part of why I liked the Justice League, seeing very different people working together and becoming friends.

I also like complex villains. I have a serious weak spot for them. My favourite characters are often villains, Lex Luthor, the Joker, Catwoman- But I sort of have mixed emotions about that. Because it comes from....poorly written heroes essentially. I often focus on complex villains when the heroes are bland and uninteresting. I think a lot of the time that comes from people assuming that the audience will empathise with the hero and that they need to take more effort over the villain.

So when I write I try to make a concerted effort to make the heroes interesting and flawed and complex. Because otherwise why aren't we reading a story about the villain?

11. are you a morning shower person or a night shower person? or the elusive bubble baths person?

I am an ‘ARGH NO WATER!!!! WHY IS IT SO COLD?! WHY IS IT FALLING FROM THE CELING?! THIS IS UNNATURAL AND WRONG!!! THE PAIN!!! THE INDIGINITY!!!!!’ person.

1) John Boyega or Idris Elba?

2) Murder Mysteries, good family fun, awful and disturbing, dull- Thoughts?

3) Favourite mythology and why?

4) Is there a type of story you wish you could write but don’t want to attempt?

5) Never-fail feel good book?

6) Last film that made you cry?

7) Do you get carsick?

8) What’s the best plant in the world? Have you grown one?

9) Dosas. Breakfast food or lunch food?

10) If you were dividing things up into seasons from scratch what would they be based on and what would you call them?

11) What and where is the best time of year?

@akindoodle, @phynali @thehungryvortigaunt @warclad (sorry mate I couldn’t remember what your personal blog was called) @bysamanthakeel,

#meme #look I did a meme #I can totally internet #and I don't know 11 people on this site XD

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writing-magician · 3 years ago

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oooh seems pretty fun

so i’ve been working on several over the past like, idk, 10 years or so, and i only have a few that i wanna actually finish and possibly publish. in no particular order, we have:

Apocalyptic Memories - this story is about four normal, young adults who die and are chosen to be the next horsemen of the apocalypse. they have to balance their new roles with cleaning up the mess that the last horsmen left behind, as well as finding out who stole the weapons they needed to bring about the end of all worlds. meanwhile, a gnc amnesiac suddenly has to relearn basic behaviors while solving clues that help to keep them safe. a mysterious being who only they can see occasionally pops up to give advice, but their visits are becoming few and far between, and they’ve instructed the amnesiac to never open one of the two bags given to them under any circumstances. being curious and oblivious of the world’s functions, only time will tell how long they can stand to keep from opening the bag.

i started this one for NANOWRIMO back in 2018 and tried to rewrite it for camp NANO in april 2019 but it just kinda fell through. i love the premise and the characters, but it just hasnt felt right lately.

Thavian’s Lantern - a 15 year old (trans) girl, Octavia, finds a mysterious lantern somewhere in the desert of one of the provinces of Vertcountry, ruled by the elusive and all powerful immortal being dubbed the Vertwitch. After her Choosing Ceremony (where you decide your gender for the first time in your life), she and a few others are whisked away to Vertice to stay in the Vertpalace, destined to become the leaders of the next generation. While there, she meets a boy her age named Olivert, who changes her views on everything she thought she knew. Her dream of becoming a priest of the Vertwitch suddenly conflicts with her desire to learn more about both Olivert and the lantern she found. Why was the lantern in the desert? Why does it feel like it’s calling to her? And why does she feel that the Vertwitch is hiding something very, very important about the old gods?

i started this project for NANOWRIMO in 2020 but quickly dropped it after roughly 6k words. but i love the idea of a magic lantern. ever since i thought about it, ive been dreaming nonstop of magic lanterns and i want to include them in every WIP i start. unfortunately, i want to keep my ideas separate, and i feel like this magic lantern belongs with Octavia and the Vertwitch. however, this wip has gone through many changes and re-outlining, and i just dont know how im going to continue this.

(currently, the previous two have been integrated with another story of mine called Unheard, Unspoken, but i have since left that monstrosity alone and am working on other things atm)

(the grim trials) - this idea currently isnt associated with an actual project right now, but what i originally had was this concept: “There’s killing games at least once a month for those who traded portions of their life for something else, often something ordinary or common but important enough to knock off a portion of their life. The game ends when there’s only one victor, and depending on how many people they killed or how they survived, they get time added back to their lives and often end up being able to be living more comfortably than they had been up until they either die or get more time taken away. The games are called the Grim Trials, named after the Grim Reaper who is believed to manifest during each game to claim the souls of those debted to him. People who run out of time are taken to a holding chamber until the start of the next Grim Trial. Once the trial begins, they are forced to kill each other to survive, and the longer you survive the better of a chance of living longer.”

i love the concept, but this theme is just a little too dark for me right now, so i’ve put it on the back burner until i can figure out where to put it. theres at least two other ideas that go with it, but this one is already too long, so i’ll leave it at that.

i have a few other ideas that are pretty just concepts, but there are a lot of them and they can be mashed together anyways, plus this post is already pretty long. in simple terms, i would like to do one or more projects involving: warring countries making a treaty and sending young, minor royalty to the middle of the continent to connect with each other and form bonds that will hopefully prevent another war in the near future; friends to enemies to lovers (i adore the angst that would come with it); a villain protagonist; and a place that’s always raining no matter what.

as for the tags, i choose @ofmanandmice @faequeenaelin @jibb-ly @number1angirl @twilightlegacy13 @scaringthecrow and whoever else wants to do it!!

WIP Tag Game

Thanks to @lilradridinghood for tagging me! This seems fun. You're WIPs all seem like a bunch of fun. I especially like the sound of Cinderella Armor.

My current WIPs (only the ones I intend to finish one day), in no particular order:

*Not Another Happy Ending* An idea I came up with in 2010, started for Nanowrimo in 2016, and it's been sitting at 50k ever since, until @magicaltimelady44 read it and encouraged me to continue. In a world where fairy tales are everyday life, there's a small kingdom where girls are locked in towers for two weeks a year to await rescue by their true-love-at-first-sight. The story follows Princess Rose Goldlocke, who is determined to marry her one-true-love and leave the tower for no one else, but this all changes one year when a prince from another land kidnaps her from her tower.

*Strings of Fate* My 2017 nanowrimo, 100% pantsed, and currently a pretty solid first draft. Ace Spade lives in a world where everything from day to day transactions to who gets to rule are determined by games of chance. After losing his family ring to a Nobody in a bet, he desperately seeks out the Nobody to get it back. Several bad bets later, he and the Nobody discover a half drowned girl who washed up on shore. She claims that the current ruler cheated to win his position and tried to drown her when she found out. Now Ace and the Nobody have to team up to bring him to justice.

*Fickle Noble Shadows* this project has gone through several nanowrimos and a bunch of writing and planning outside of it. The first draft lacked a central plot, and the second is only half done. It's the story that happens after the traditional "girl dresses up as a boy and saves the kingdom" story, except this girl missed her chance to reveal herself, and now she's king and it's too late to say anything. She would hide it forever, except everyone expects her to take a wife and produce an heir. Current draft follows the competition she holds to help her choose a wife and focuses on her, the captain of her guard (who she's completely in love with), one of the competitors who is there by force, and an assassin.

*Children of the Prophet* I was either 7 or 9 years old when I first started this series. In the decades since I have come up with plans for anywhere from 6 to 10 books and numerous novellas or short stories. I have only completed two drafts of one of those books, and those drafts are all over the place. One day, I shall write this story properly. The draft I have written is about a girl in a world where the Chosen One failed a thousand years before her birth. She struggles to control her magic and, after an unfortunate accident that killed her best friend, has been on the run for over a year. But when she survives an attack by the High Mage, he begins to suspect she's part of an organization trying to overthrow the crown. The story follows her adventures as she eventually realizes she is destined to resurrect the Chosen.

That's my list, at least of the ones I currently intend to finish one day.

I'm tagging @magicaltimelady44, @ican-writethings, @writing-magician and anyone who sees this who wants to share! (I know I have more mutuals who like writing, I just can't think of who off the top of my head haha).

#long post #chain post #tag game #writing tag game #wip tag game

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annieoftheshitposts · 7 years ago

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this post used to be a link to the old canons page but i’m turning it into a text dump of the revised one for people on mobile [or who have bad wifi/computers that the fancy schmancy script on the canons page wouldn’t play well with.] theres a lot sorry not sorry. here we go.

Canon Info

Much more is said about Annie in external sources than the game itself, here's copypastes of all I know of and go by.

From the 3rd DLC Character Voting page:

As popular figures in nationwide folktales, a children’s television adaptation of Annie and Sagan’s adventures was inevitable. The show’s success lies in its pair of live action hosts, who are as convincing as their cartoon counterparts. Though what the public learns about the real Annie might surprise them. Annie is a seasoned fighter who has been around for a long time, acquiring many skills and powers along the way. Her sword is forged from a meteorite and can channel the power of the stars in its sweeping cleaves. Her right eye bonds her to her Remote Parasite and partner, Sagan, who grants her powers of a galactic motif. While some of her abilities carry more of a sparkly magical girl motif, Annie tries to execute them with the same sternness.

From "The canon info thread" on Skullheart Encore forums:

-Annie is several-century-old. Her immortality was gained when her parents wished on the Skull Heart so that Annie would never have to experience the hardship of adulthood, thereby making her forever a child. -She has had many different weapons and abilities throughout her life. - Sagan, her remote parasite. keeps her right eye in his mouth. - She’s physically not able to swear due to her condition - She is familiar with Double due to her experience fighting Skullgirls - Annie has encountered a lot of Skullgirls and has killed a lot, but not the same a lot. She’s seen the cycle multiple times and seen how they become stronger each time and is looking for the underlying source now. - The Annie of the Stars show is very similar to the Super Mario Bros. Super Show with live action segments with cartoons and PSAs and commercials in between. - Sagan can talk. Somehow. - Annie hides her immortality by getting a new hairstyle every few years. The show tells the audience that they have simply changed the actress. Eliza also pulls a similar trick

and finally some other misc. scraps that weren't covered above:

-annie has some kind of "super" or "powered up" form, in which she seems to fuse with sagan. it can be seen on her

move concept sheet, in the end of robo-fortune's story mode, and as a very tiny feature on one of robo-fortune's merch posters, but to my knowlege it's never really been talked about.

-she's been depicted with an "incognito outfit", presumably for going out in public and not being recognized by fans.

-sagan is named after renowned astrophysicist carl sagan. this isnt really relevant to anything but it's not on the wiki so i figured i'd share :b

-and this random pic of annie in the past with a different look, plus gun and minus eyepatch, apparently official art from the "digital art compendium". i haven't seen the source for this one myself though, and count this one more as speculative canon since that ingame image up there with her eye uncovered doesn't show a scar or any kind of damage from this.

-another canon fact about annie is she is strong and brave and i love her.

Headcanon (Annie)

this is pretty disorganized bc i come up with and revise random shit on a fairly regular basis, but the very least it should be all here and up-to-date. [though on this text post version i may forget to keep it updated oops.

she can still only normally see from the one eye in her head [and likewise probably has terrible depth perception lmao], but she can “project” her vision into the one sagan has if need be, during which time both he and her main eye are blind.

even though sagan’s vision is his own and she doesn’t actively “see” through that eye most of the time, the stuff he sees still becomes part of her memory and she can recall it if need be, though it’s far less tangible and kind of a surreal experience trying to do so.

the space where her other eye was is now just...space. like empty starry void stuff. yes, TECHNICALLY, you could put stuff in it but why would you. sagan can feel when something interacts with it and it’s really just weird and uncomfortable for both of them.as sagan is the source of their powers, the strength of her abilities is slightly dependent on her distance from him. something like long sustained flight is really only capable if they’re touching, but she still has ample firepower and ability to zip around for a pretty good range otherwise.

Not interested in anime

absolutely hates being called her full name; hasn't gone by anything other than "Annie" for longer than anyone that should be alive today should know.

part of her curse of eternal youth is remembering everything up until the point it kicked in and she stopped aging [i.e. when she was Actually a kid] exactly as well as if she hadn’t aged.

from that point however, a lot of it is hazy as shit aside from more recent times [as you’d expect from someone who’s been around hundreds of years]. this one's gonna be angsty as shit when i address it and you can thank @sandstriker for that. fucker.

also hates being restrained. by the concept sheet and beo's story, her fighting style is very kinetic and relies heavily on mobility; take that away and you get one very uncomfortable and very angry starchild. [this one's 'cause of y'all with the handcuffs asks. this is part of why she's so agitated rn.]

what's in the pouch? whatever is alternatively convenient. is it snacks? is it a quick incognito disguise? is it her whole entire sword? who knows. i think it might be infinite hammerspace in there.

i haven't put much though into this side of her story yet, but i've decided part of the mythos of the "annie of the stars" character as a figure of legend is that she literally lives, among the stars.

if there's enough folktales about her to base an entire show off of, i'm willing to bet she used to be less elusive when she was just about fighting skullgirls before dedicating herself to the whole "looking for the underlying source" thing.

Headcanon (Sagan)

tl;dr: as far as things go here, he's essentially a cat and/or younger sibling.

Sagan's canon information and characterization is basically nonexistant, so i got to do pretty much whatever i wanted with him lmao.

simply put, he's a little gremlin of a partner, but he is genuinely good-natured and a happy-go-luckly little dude. mischevious, loves to get up to Shenanigans, go off and hide/disappear to fuck knows where for several hours, climb and sit on tall things[or failing that, annie's head], etc. @sawkinator has described him, regrettably accurately, as "the Token Disney Animal Sidekick". he has a lot of mannerisms like an animal, but is still very much a being of at least average human intelligence. he's also surprisingly indestructible. far from invincible of course, but in canon he's been shown to be quite stretchy and...possibly have minor shapeshifting capabilities?? he's pretty much immune to being squashed and feels very little [if any] pain from most things. really, as far as i can tell he's pretty much a weird sentient plushie. like, if it's not going to damage a plushie, it's not going to hurt him; examples being: getting knocked back really hard or falling a long way? not a problem. fire? problem.

Sagan tends to be somewhat nonverbal and generally only uses a few words or short phrase at a time when he does speak, which sounds something like the voice clip below. that being how it is, he can be kind of inscrutable and more than a bit jarring to most people--though at this point annie's been with him more than long enough to be completely desensitized to it and doesnt quite get why anyone would be perturbed. fortunately, with that familiarity also comes understanding, and she can easily "translate" and articulate more from his expressions. this understanding is a two-way street, and on its other side is sagan's sensitivity to her moods. annie's not particularly...communicative of her emotions, but sagan can always tell when she's having an off day or something's bothering her, and is far better than anyone at helping her feel better. all things said and quirky antics aside, he and annie are exceptionally close and fiercely protective of eachother the moment it comes to it. they don't make a big deal of showing it outwardly, but they know they've always got eachother's backs.

he's taken quite a liking to beowulf as well, and beo defintiely shamelessly enables sagan's shenanigans.

as i see it, annie may be the passion and power of their operation, but sagan is the heart and soul. beowulf is like....comic releif and emotional support. not entirely necessary, but certainly welcomed to have around. yeah. listen im a big sap i just want them all to be good friends ok. i love them.

also sagan does like and watch a lot of anime.

Blog Canon

miscellaneous happenings that either have continued relevance/significance, or y'all just won't let die. there's not a overarching plot to this thing at all, but geez we’ve kinda gathered some history here huh?

taught sagan to say fuck [and other swears, in her stead]. he used to have to do it on command but he's gotten really good at filling in for her.has a

stoat fursona that beo helped her make. she thinks it's neat/cute but has no real attachment to it.

attempted to sue the crystal gems for ripping off her entire shtick [it didn't go well]

beowulf also taught her how to dab.

@sparkeletran is a nuisance and must be stopped

the 70$ pile of high school musical merch. sagan and beo both wear the t-shirts sometimes. she hates it. don't let her attitude fool you though this is actually the best and most important ongoing joke in this whole damn thing.

the first handcuffs stint. they’re gone now but they had a good ~30-post run, and she did take to learning lockpicking because of it.

this.

hey. guess fucking what lads. handcuffs ROUND TWO 'cause y'all just don't fuckin' quit. the first mini story arc sorta thing, in which she visits the cirque des cartes and has an aggravting encounter with taliesin. [currently ongoing][hopefully soon ending]

[[redacted for ""spoilers""]] due to said encounter with taliesin

sparkeletran is a nuisance,

"the official annie of the stars instagram is just cat memes but with sagan" it's canon but i haven't decided whether it's something she would have had already or a recent thing. [either way, hasn't been touched on yet due to the arc taking so long]

badart annie is sorta like her own thing at this point but nothing that happens with her is canon; she p much just shows up for exceptionally dumb posts. we did give her noclip though which is terrifying. on that note i may as well include the things that are Not canon but y'all won't let me forget

beo's animated belt thing. look. it doesnt talk.

spray-on boots.

the lawnmower weapon

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh homestuck

#not annieposting

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theblacktivity-blog · 8 years ago

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“DAMN”: A Review.

Over two years after the release of the critically acclaimed and Grammy winning sophomore album “To Pimp a Butterfly”, Kendrick Lamar has done it again with the release of his long awaited follow up “DAMN”. While it has been obvious to many in recent years that Kendrick is not only the future of hip hop but very much its present, his new album also further solidifies him as one of Black America’s most important poetic voices, period. If “To Pimp a Butterfly” was heralded for the melodic way in which issues such as racial inequality, profiling, and depression were tackled with skillful clarity, its sequel can be likened to the way a surgeon after addressing the larger tumor, uses his scalpel with steady precision to cut away at and expose the nuances of its effects. This is to say that whereas “To Pimp a Butterfly” was in many ways more of a ‘what’ album, “DAMN” goes a bit further as Kendrick in fourteen tracks, gives us an exposition into the ‘how’s’ of systemic racism and interpersonal conflict. Themes of fear, self-doubt, isolation, mistrust, fame, and posturing are woven in between cinematic production that has the effect of pulling the “foreign” listener into the matrix of schizophrenia that at times characterizes the emotional toll of the Black experience in America. Like most renowned artist, Kendrick through his willingness to be vulnerable and introspective, portrays with stunning depth the many cruxes at which Black folk stand when attempting to deal with life in a world in which they find themselves the seemingly perpetual “subject”. Even further, this latest album sonically succeeds in framing such matters in a way that has made Kendrick Lamar synonymous with being hailed as the poetic interpreter of Black life, by evoking strong idioms of the blues and classic soul via pin point production. While it is true that most artist and thinkers are products of their time often drawing from that which is available personally and macrocosmically, it is just as true that many still can trace at least some of their theory from a predecessor, however intentional or not. Considering this fact, one could argue that in Kendrick’s “DAMN” is most reminiscent of Richard Wright’s semi-autobiographical narrative “Black Boy”. While the former’s latest work isn’t what one would consider autobiographical in the purest sense, Kendrick does utilize personal innuendo in such a way as to strike a note with the listener who can appreciate Kendrick’s honesty about his own personal battles with identity and social crisis. In this way, “DAMN” cleverly blends the polemical with the intimate. Like Wright, Kendrick is apt at painting a vivid picture as it pertains to the totality of subjugation and the myriad of its absurd effects on not only the body, but the psyche and behavior of the oppressed. In the opening Kendrick goes into a short story in which he speaks of a blind woman who appeared to be looking for something, approaching the woman he say’s “it looks like you lost something and I want to help you find it”. In kind the woman responds, “you have lost something…you’ve lost your life” after which the ominous echo of a gunshot can be heard before the album trails into the first track “DNA”. This intro has a shrewdly symbolic bent, and like most symbols can likely be interpreted in several ways. But, given the socially conscious range of Kendrick’s lyricism, it wouldn’t be a stretch to theorize that Kendrick’s attempt at helping the blind woman (in this case the symbol of justice) find something (finding “her” soul, or conscious maybe?) is somehow a figurative representation of the historic and often thwarted attempts of Black America to do the same for the country at large. Or maybe the shot heard in the intro’s finale illustrates the violence placed upon the body, mind, and spirt at such attempts. In any event, Kendrick leaves a cleverly carved space for which the listener can fill in the intro’s blanks before being ushered into the meat of the album beginning with the aforementioned title track “DNA”.

It is on this track that we are forcefully reminded of what makes him great…his sheer adeptness at shredding a track to pieces with crafty lyrical dexterity. He then goes on to blend that which makes him great with that which makes him and ultimately us, human; “I got power, poison, pain and joy inside my DNA/I got hustle though/ambition flow inside my DNA”. This duality is ultimately a part of the human experience but is particularly acute within the realm of Blackness wherein resides the DuBoisian concept of the double consciousness. It is this concept of being both Black (African) and “American” that has simultaneously served as our biggest psychic burden and has allowed us to adapt creatively to circumstances in such a way as to make improvisation one of the signifying markers of Blackness. Thus, Kendrick acknowledges that not only is it in his DNA but in all of ours through that ever-elusive Black genetic marker known as soul or ‘cool’. The following song entitled “YAH” is a slow-paced track in which the image of an isolated star comes to mind, it’s a near dreamlike state in which one awakes to the amalgams of distorted “advice” and rumors from all sides. Cornered he finds that his proverbial “radars is buzzing” with the white noise so often accompanied with fame, he laments from the outset: “I got so many theories and suspicions/I’m diagnosed with real nigga conditions”. He then harps on the signals he receives in everyone from his mother who thinks he will “work himself to death”, to his girlfriend who reminds him “not to let these hoes get his head”. One gets the feeling that being famous has a way of rendering a person worn at the emotional seams from being pulled in multiple directions in an already fast paced world. And as if that isn’t enough, Kendrick then alludes to FOX News’s misinformed critiques of his lyrics (particularly Geraldo Rivera), this while simultaneously seeking clarity via a renewed sense of identity as a Hebrew Israelite a path suggested by a distant cousin eluded to in recorded phone calls throughout the album. The latter path isn’t one atypical of the African American search for identity as it is well documented about myriad of Black socio-political/religious movements that sprang up during the earlier half of 20th century, many of which adopted a nationalistic posture in defense of community and against injustice. However, Kendrick does offer us a glimpse in to what he considers the silver lining of normalcy in it all, his niece who simply sees him as “Uncle Kendrick”. The ensuing track “ELEMENT” could be best described as a Molotov cocktail of witty lyricism, signature hip hop braggadocio and anxiety. After all he opens by stating: “I’m willing to die for this shit/I done cried for this shit/might take a life for this shit/put the Bible down and go eye for an eye for this shit”. Certainly, no one even vaguely familiar with the lyrical elements and strident nature of hip hop verse wouldn’t consider Kendrick “violent” for such an opening line. Rather it reveals the crossroads that one finds themselves at when coping with the pressures of relatively new found fame and the contradiction between wanting to hold dear to what one has worked so hard for, despite whatever could potentially come about. Such is the nature of success and particularly Black success in America which often tends to be linked to surviving extraordinary circumstances to attain status. Said status achievements are then even more guarded with hubris, and sometimes a paranoid anxiety based in fear and mistrust best summed up by Kendrick with the line: “we ain’t going back to broke/family selling dope”. However, in the hook he dually reminds himself not to be taken out of his element given this fear. “FEEL”, the succeeding track opens in a whisper woven into instrumental through which Kendrick and a female voice can be heard repeatedly saying “ain’t nobody praying for me”. Here he comes off on the production as an embattled MC’s withering internally from the demands and misunderstandings of the world around him. Even mentioning the false sense of security yielded from a celebrity that has compounded many of the life’s difficulties. Kendrick feels intensely, yet these feelings about the toxicity level of a rap world in which he dominates are balanced by his own feelings of confidence about his standing in the hip hop world. It’s a theme that has often been explored in depth with childhood celebrity and in spaces outside of hip hop’s mainstream where it is speculated that the pressure to adapt to life in celebrity has led to many a down fall. Hip hop has often been categorized as distinctly different however given the genre’s braggadocios nature, and it is often assumed that since most rappers from starkly humble beginnings fame and fortune serves as not only an antidote, but as a permanent source of material. Kendrick shatters this myth, while simultaneously acknowledging his new-found wealth and celebrity he also considers what’s happening in the world around him as akin to apocalypse where for everyone else “nothing is awkward”. The legendary Nas once stated, “in the land of the blind the man with one eye is the king” and Kendrick heavily tuned into seeing this through the maze of confusion that is fame with all of its participants: “the feelin' of an apocalypse happenin', but nothin' is awkward/the feelin' won't prosper/the feelin' is toxic/I feel like I'm boxin' demons, monsters/false prophets schemin', sponsors, industry promises/niggas, bitches, honkies, crackers, Compton/Church, religion, token blacks, and bondage/Lawsuit visits, subpoena served in concert/fuck your feelings, I mean this for imposters”.

Yet and still, irrespective of these predicaments and more, his sentiment is best condensed in the hook, “ain’t nobody praying for me”... heavy indeed is the head that wears the crown. “LOYALTY” is a track that could best be described as having the components of a future radio single with a classic west coast sound. It’s slow paced and laid back roll out serves as perfect fodder for Kenny’s semi-automatic style flow in which he questions the loyalty of females particularly those near and around the industry. He quips sarcastically, “you caught me at the right time/when it’s dollar signs”. This track featuring Rihanna is a perfect match as she matches the tempo of Kendrick and weaves lyrics that question the nature of a man’s loyalty. Is loyalty merely driven by your convenience to others (family, friends, etc) or is there something deeper? This is question that is faced when one encounter’s extraordinary levels of fame and even more when one is Black and successful, as most Black wealth when such is achieved is often first generational, thrusting one into the role of provider for nearly every family member. This has an adverse effect of blurring the lines of what is considered loyalty. “PRIDE” illustrates a conflict of possessions and purity. Honest enough to acknowledge that his what is often perceived as his persuasion to social consciousness doesn’t make him perfect, he poses a question throughout the length of the track that can be best summed up at the top of the songs opening: “hell-raising, wheel-chasing, new worldly possessions/flesh-making, spirit breaking, which one would you lessen?/the better part, the human heart, you love 'em or dissect 'em/happiness or flashiness? how do you serve the question?/see, in the perfect world, I would be perfect, world/I don't trust people enough beyond they surface, world/I don't love people enough to put my faith in man/I put my faith in these lyrics hoping I make a band, I understand/I ain't perfect”.

In a sense, Kendrick can be found attempting to explain the complexity of human life and the peculiar effect that certain responsibilities have on others perception of you. Fighting internally, one must at times ground themselves or find external ways to do so by reminding those with these expectations of their humanity and flaws, and how those flaws were created. “HUMBLE” the album’s first commercial cut is yet another exercise in lyrical prowess and genius arrangement. Ironically the track is boastful as we are reminded why he is indeed the greatest at press time. It’s lock and step with hip hop’s confidence idiom but not without reminding us from whence Lamar came: “Aye, I remember syrup sandwiches and crime allowances/Finesse a nigga with sum counterfeits/But now I'm countin this/Parmesan where my accountant lives in fact I'm down at this/D'usśe with my boo bae, tastes like kool aid for the analysts”. The end of “HUMBLE” takes us back into the depths of Kendrick’s social analysis with on the succeeding track “LUST”. Much like his theoretical predecessor Richard Wright, Kendrick is more than apt at pointing out with stunning quality the ways in which we as a people often get in the way of our own progress through behaviors that have seemingly become second nature. The first two verses shepherd the listener through the inner sanctum of two parallel lives one male, the other female, engaged in the daily routines of selfish instant gratification. Such a signifier has been considered among one of the many negative elements of Americanism, the desire for immediate pleasures and whims without regard for long term consequences. And given that the Black experience is inextricable in many ways from the American experience at large, this trait has been considered among one of the most damaging. This is a line of thought most often commercially associated with Black nationalist types who espouse industry over frivolity, but which is shared among Black movements of all theoretical types to some degree or another. It’s clear to peep the knowledge of Kendrick through the examples of these two narratives. However, he again drives home the point that he’s not merely critiquing society from a lofty and self-appointed perch, rather he draws from personal experience to reflect on his entanglement in the same web: “I wake in the mornin', my head spinnin' from the last night/both in the trance, feelings I did-what a fast life!/manager called, the lobby called, it's 11: 30/did this before, promised myself I'd be a hour early/room full of clothes, bag full of money: call it loose change/fumbled my jewelry, 100k, I lost a new chain/Hop on the bird, hit the next city for another M/take me a nap and do it again/we all woke up, tryna tune to the daily news/lookin' for confirmation, hopin' election wasn't true/all of us worried, all of us buried, and our feeling's deep/none of us married to his proposal, make us feel cheap/still and sad, distraught and mad, tell the neighbor 'bout it/bet they agree, parade the streets with your voice proudly/time passin', things change/revertin' back to our daily programs, stuck in our ways; lust”. It’s at once a song of frustration with the perpetual cycle of society’s failure to learn from its errors and the absurd notion that even in learning we tend to repeat them, leading to an inner contention that rivals suffering itself. “LOVE” is the ensuing 10th song on an album that if it had ended here would still deserved to be deemed an instant classic. This poem’s sequence on the album however is more like the metrical version of seeing Kendrick relax and take a calming breath of air, this induced only by thoughts and reflections on the meaning of a special someone that he’s been in a long term low profile relationship with. While much of “DAMN” up until this point tends to be about the perils of success the song evokes the duality of its privileges, but only when there is someone to share them with. Not only this, it’s a light track that once again acknowledges the good in a mad world and lightens the album’s genius yet dense subject matters. “XXX” is one of Kendrick Lamar’s most stinging feats of rhetorical prowess in which he connects the dots between what’s often posited as “inner city violence” or rather “Black on Black” violence and America’s role in fostering such environments. Tackling the humanity of anger is yet another narrative of this track wherein upon the murder of a friend’s son he’s contacted by the friend for advice. Hoping for Kendrick to serve as his better half under what could only be described as a parent’s worst nightmare, Kendrick finds himself unable to tap into the loftier spiritual expectations placed upon him, a portion of the verse summarizes this interaction: “yesterday I got a call like from my dog like 101/said they killed his only son because of insufficient funds/he was sobbin', he was mobbin', way belligerent and drunk/talkin' out his head, philosphin' on what the Lord had done/He said: "K-Dot, can you pray for me?/It's been a fucked up day for me/I know that you anointed, show me how to overcome."/he was lookin' for some closure/hopin' I could bring him closer/to the spiritual, my spirit do know better, but I told him/"I can't sugarcoat the answer for you, this is how I feel:/if somebody kill my son, that mean somebody gettin' killed."

One is taken back to the title of his sophomore album “good kid, M.A.D.D. city” and reminded of Kendrick’s Compton, California origins where like so many systematically deprived Black areas, violence is commonplace. But Kenny makes it perfectly clear that this dysfunction isn’t mere osmosis when he states within the last verse (among other barbs): “it's nasty when you set us up/then roll the dice, then bet us up/you overnight the big rifles, then tell Fox to be scared of us/gang members or terrorists, et cetera, et cetera/America's reflections of me, that's what a mirror does”, this statement is made even more superb given the fact that in a country that often embraces the right of white males to arms, people with color and arms are framed as particularly dangerous. Nonetheless the testament track and most Richard Wright-esque work on the album just may be “FEAR”, which delivers an apt description of the trait (other than coolness, spirituality, and improvisation) that so often finds itself expressed in Black behavioral patterns. It opens with a recorded call from Kendrick’s cousin Carl Duckworth a seemingly zealous follower of Old Testament Biblical religion, who we later learn is a possible member of the Hebrew Israelites, a nationalist Judeo African American religious movement. The phone call appears to be in response to a Kendrick that may well be falling victim to an inner crisis, one for which he feels no one has the answer to. At one point on the call Carl harps back to Kendrick’s lament: “I know you been having a lot on your mind you know, like you feel like, you know, people ain’t been praying for you”. He then goes into a spiel that is among the myriad of socio-religious identity theories of found among Black versions of all schools of religion, but especially those born in the states. Carl in part attempts to explain Kendrick’s confusion by attesting to our cursed nature utilizing a verse from Deuteronomy 28: 28. This track’s opening then questions God himself “why God why God do I gotta suffer/pain in my heart carry burdens full of struggle”, before launching into a full-fledged verse in which Kendrick appears to describe abuse or the threat of it, often doled out at the hands of some Black parents (in this case appears to elude to a Black single mother) for the least of infractions. There’s a direct parallel that exist here between the work of Richard Wright and Kendrick Lamar. In “Black Boy”, an overall narrative that runs through much of the text is the domestic corporal punishment that Richard almost always seems to be threatened by. This is particularly acute as it pertains to his maternal grandmother and “Aunt Addie”, strict Seventh Day Adventist who so controlled by a “puritan” religion and the southern “custom” of Black fear of white retribution for Black “misbehavior” that they practically attempt at every turn to “beat out” what to them appears to be a young Richard’s staunch independence. As a result, Wright finds himself trapped between a racist and unforgiving white world and a Black world whose response to the white world is one driven by fear and its own form of “for your own good” oppression and other responsive madness. This kept Wright in a constant state of fear of not only the outside world but what was supposed to be the intimate familial space. This sentiment is echoed on the first verse of Kendrick Lamar’s “fear”. The second verse tackles the fragility of Black life in which activities that would otherwise be harmless, could lead to possible death. It’s a peek into what so often appears to be the randomness of violence in poor Black neighborhoods and the added burden that comes with attempting to navigate a hostile larger world in the microcosm of one’s own community. In the last verse, Kendrick goes into the irony of fame. While the sentiments of American late capitalist types would have us believe that fame and fortune are the only antidotes to poverty and lacking, we are reminded that for those of us who are able to make the transition from the proverbial “rags to riches” it is not always so simple. Kendrick’s new found fame is explored in the last verse as juxtaposed to the poverty from which he came and this has the effect of evoking a new type of fear…the fear of losing it all. It’s in this verse that one can also see where much of his anxiety stems from. The worlds of money and celebrity are riddled with tales of those who have succumbed to its shark infested waters only to return to the places and madness from which they were thought to have escaped. It’s a preoccupation that has seemingly driven Kendrick to the brink at times and it is in part his reason for reaching out to his cousin Carl, who in the swirl of all the madness appears to be a guiding spiritual voice. At the end of the last verse Kendrick’s confusion is summed up in a haunting refrain: “Goddamn you/Goddamn me/Goddamn us/Goddamn we/Goddamn us all. Afterwards, yet another recorded phone call from Kendrick’s cousin Carl can be heard in which he can be heard spinning a somewhat confusing logic on the “curse” of Blackness stating this time: “So, until we come back to these commandments, until you come back to these commandments, we're gonna feel this way, we're gonna be under this curse. Because he said he's gonna punish us, the so-called Blacks, Hispanics, and Native American Indians, are the true children of Israel. We are the Israelites according to the Bible. The children of Israel, he's gonna punish us for our iniquities, for our disobedience, because we chose to follow other gods that aren't his son, so the Lord, thy God, chasten thee. So, just like you chasten your own son, he's gonna chastise you because he loves you. So that's why we get chastised, that's why we're in the position we're in. Until we come back to these laws, statutes and commandments, and do what the Lord said, these curses are gonna be upon us. We're gonna be at a lower state in this life that we live here in today, in the United States of America. I love you, son, and I pray for you. God, bless you, shalom”.

To be sure pointing out this religious sentiment of Carl’s is not a dig at his religion or beliefs, however within the context of the Black experience in America, it is important to recognize the myriad of systems on the spectrum of Black religion. Historically speaking, religion has served as a guiding light for Blacks, a political tool, and an explanatory narrative of systemic racism. In this way theories of the Black station in American life can at times become varied and confusing from the outside looking in, and one gets the feeling that Carl himself while appearing zealously coherent in Hebrew Israelite doctrine, is just one of the millions of Blacks in America seeking answers to the madness. Appropriately, the following track entitled “GOD” can be looked at from either one of two angles. One the one hand one could interpret this as typical hip hop theatrics of boastfulness, the type wherein the celebratory nature of making it can render one seemingly invincible to at least one’s former woes. Yet everything Kendrick touches seems to hint at deeper meaning, and “GOD” may just as easily be in step with the meeting of the secular and the spiritual. It has often been stated that some are made but the greats are chosen, and on this track, there is full embrace of the latter as he reflects on from whence he came and where he has arrived. It also should not escape the listener that proclaiming oneself as “god” incarnate is not a new religious theory and in hip hop was proselytized by adherents to 5% Islam better known as The Nation of Gods and Earths. The message is context can then be seen as Kendrick reminding us that like him we too can embody gods and goddesses on earth.

“DUCKWORTH” the final track of this album gives a previously unknown glimpse into Kendrick’s origins and the genesis of his relationship with TDE (Top Dawg Entertainment). Known for not only his lyrical prowess but his somewhat guarded nature as it pertains to his personal life, we find that the origins of Kendrick’s relationship began long before he was scouted by Anthony “Top Dawg” Tiffith as a 15-year-old mixtape rapper. It was in-fact a near fatal encounter between the then street hood Tiffith and Kendrick’s father Kenny Duckworth in the 80′s that brought the pair together when Lamar was but a child. Kenny, a Chicago native, relocated to Compton, CA where he too brought his street savvy with him splitting time between hustling and working part time at a KFC across from the infamous Nickerson Garden homes, a blood gang territory and home to the hustling and banging Tiffith. A chance encounter between Kendrick’s father and Tiffith at the fast food spot led to a relationship that was at first born out of Kenny’s savvy in recognizing the street status of Tiffith and his crew, who had previously robbed the restaurant, shooting two people in the process. Little did Kenny aka “Ducky” know that the crew was planning to rob the store again and this time willing to take out Ducky if necessary. However, Tiffith took a liking to Ducky and this led to a relationship that would re-manifest years later when the two would bump into each other at a recording studio. By this time, Anthony “Top Dawg” Tiffith would be managing producers and scouting talent and one such talent would be Ducky’s son, Kendrick Lamar Duckworth. The genius of the track is in a sense admittedly overshadowed by the listener’s interest in the story itself, yet the vivid tale of chance and choices are obvious throughout. “DUCKWORTH” is the proverbial slam dunk ending on an album which at its core is about the duality and absurd complexity of the human condition and more specifically when it’s in Black. While there may be some who will tout “DAMN” as only an album fraught with anxiety, confusion, and introspection, the final track is a testament that in the madness of it all silver linings guided by divine hands still exist. Classic.

#kendrick lamar #damn #blackboy #blacklivesmatter

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lecriseu-blog · 7 years ago

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I, too, once had a time in my life where the days were dark, barely worth waking up in the morning for. I, too, once had a time in my life where the night was where I thrived, in freedom from rejection, where solace was found in the self-ostricization from the rest of humanity. I, too, felt my entire being was only filled with barren emptiness, and my personality was long forgotten.

. . . 'filled' with 'emptiness'.

It's such an odd way to describe that feeling. But the illogicality of this emotion is supposed to be barren of any sort of logic. Mental illness simply has zero logic. It has no rhyme, no reason, or maybe a better way of describing it is, it is entirely difficult to pinpoint a single affect for the sufferer. Depression, and its many other minions, are obscure to everyone. . .

. . . including its victims.

Such a concept, that one can be 'filled with emptiness' is unfathomable to most. But I know whoever is reading this simply knows where I'm coming from. Perhaps you are now travelling back in time, or reliving a dark moment where you, too, once, were 'filled with emptiness'. This is light comparison to being triggered. If any of you non-sufferers are reading this, there is your example of the word 'triggered'. It is not fun to be triggered. it is like having a flashback of war, except the battle was or is waged against yourself.

Right now, I am being triggered by telling this. It is entirely too difficult for me to describe the feeling, it is almost vexing. When I am triggered, I am charmed by its elusive pull on my vulnerable strings. Simultaneously, I know where it is pulling me to, and it is definitely not Disneyland. Whether it is to death, self-harm, or any other, it is dangerously alluring. This is only a tiny speck of insight into how your own mind can eventually be your ultimate harm.

A general belief, to those who are uneducated on the subject, is that the 'key' to solving mental illness is to simply retrace one's steps back into the particular moment in time that could have possibly turned their world upside down. However, this is an entirely ignorant suggestion, and I know this because I am a recovering victim of mental illness.

Notice how I say 'recovering'. There is no one-hundred percent. There is no 'going back to who you once were'. There is no wave of the magic wand to make you who you were before all this happened and if somebody tells you that, it is simply bullshit. . .

. . . But, don't let that diminish any hopes of recovery. Recovery is possible. However, it takes incredible mental strength to battle against the consist deceit of your own mind. Your war will go on for a long, long time. . . maybe your whole lifetime. The outcome is subjective to each individual. But if you choose to fight, and choose to take a stand against yourself, for yourself, it will get incredibly easier over the years.

The thoughts will be there, yet, over time they will become less and less frequent. On occasion, they may peek in to test your strengths, or to see if they can poke at your weaknesses, or perhaps prod at you at your most vulnerable moments. But after you have trained your mind for years for those types of scenarios it truly gets easier to end the battle with those thoughts. And you can win those fights quicker. Your days of suffering with the dark will become less over time. When you've consistently developed cautious coping mechanisms to every single little scenario or thought that you know is one of your weakpoints, you are prepared for those prods from dark thoughts.

You are your own worst enemy. Fortunately, you are your own self. Therefore, your worst enemy is your closest. And you know what is your enemy's every thought, and every move. You've lived with it long enough to know. This is an advantage that not every person on the battlefront has. This is an advantage you can utilize.

Think of it as a game of chess. You are ultimately playing both the black and white side. After a few years of playing this game, it is no surprise that you are beginning to have the inability to differentiate between either side — your world has slowly become grey, and your sensibility is null and void to what's positive and what's negative. What is genuine and what is fake? Where does the facade end and where the hell does the reality begin?

I, too, was once at a long game of chess with myself. I recall nothing but my own thoughts and pains during that time. Friends, family, birthdays, holidays, school — I cannot tell you the tale of those years concerning what happened outside of my mind. I was consumed with nothing but my thoughts and my loneliness. Though I tried, I could not remember who I once was, and that was unfathomable that I could not remember myself before all this.

My heart was filled with emptiness. Every moment I pulled myself down the dark well without a ladder, I felt I hadn't eaten in days. Life was not there, or rather, it was, but I was merely a weightless, nonexistent form, spectating life going on around me, all the while I simply could not recall at all what happened in that day. If you were to ask me what happened on one of those particular days, I could only tell you how I felt.

My mind once had a grip on my undivided attention, and I lost many relationships, for better or worse. My mind once had me around its finger. My mind was hell. My mind was wretched. My mind was a bitch. My mind abused me more than anyone else had ever abused me in my entire life.

I take charge of my mind now. I don't know whether it was me hating my mind or my mind hating me first. But slowly, I turned it around and took the reins of my mind. It peeks into my life every now and again, it tries to seduce me back into that dark fantasy once more. It is substantially powerful, and I have had my relapses over the course of years.

I just turned twenty-six years old last month.

I was fifteen when my world turned grey.

The battles are never far away, but they are less often, and less powerful than they once were. I'm simply too tough for my enemy now.

I can't tell you the magical potion or spell or the certain way to wave your wand at yourself and pull yourself back together to see the light. But as cliche as it sounds, love is powerful. It is unformidable. It is incredible. It is miraculous. I am not saying to go out and find love from someone else. Never, did I find someone with the ability to make me whole once again. Long, long ago, I gave up on making others responsible to help me hang on to my own life.

It was simply when I chose to love myself, and only loving myself, did I see a difference.

It was not overnight. I trained hard.

The first person I ever let go, was someone who depleted my growth. It was my first love. It was my only love for five years and we thought we would one day marry each other and we would be always happy together and I suddenly dropped him without notice.

I realized my soul was crying out for love, and I had not listened to it for five years or more. My heart was aching for acknowledgement, but I didn't want to. It made me ashamed for how I felt and how I looked and how I was and how annoyed people were at me at my darkest moments so I shoved it away because I was not only a burden to others but ultimately I was a burden to myself.

As soon as I dropped my first love, I sought to become my own person, to recover, to grow and live life on my own, and focus on myself, and only myself.

There was a revelation, if you will, that struck me and I realized I entirely put so much focus on my first love for so many long years that I did not seek to grow and nurture myself. I consistently sought to nurture a relationship that had been dying long before I realized it.

There was a revelation that other people are not entirely too dependable, and most will be temporary. Some of them will be stepping stones in my life. For better or worse they will help me grow.

There was a revelation that I suddenly didn't want to die, but I couldn't stop hurting myself. Sparing a few details, I acted on a cry for help, for I knew I needed it. I was too long gone and I had no other way of knowing to cope with this pain and I knew of no other way to vocalize my need for help to someone. All the other words I had said seemed to fall on deaf ears.

There was a revelation that I was going to be stuck with myself for the rest of my life. No other person was going to be by my side that long. I figured that that was the most important relationship to work and focus on.

My treatment was about twenty percent, and my self-treatment was eighty percent in my success to recover. I am not fully recovered. But over the years, my battles have become less and less difficult to manage. It depends on how much work you put into nurturing yourself and accepting yourself for all its flaws. . .

. . .One has the most special, most unique relationship with theirselves. A lot of people take it for granted more than any other relationship they'll have with any other person out there. You don't need a phone to call, nor a paper to write and mail a letter to, you don't even need to talk, for you are always there and you understand the silence.

Yourself knows every single moment in your entire life from day one to the day you die. It remembers every nook and cranny in your memory, every moment you ever made a mistake, and it knows all of your thoughts and feelings and whether they be good or bad, yourself still sticks with you and loves you and urges you to stay alive.

You only ever need to pay attention to it.

I, too, once had a time in my life where the days were dark, barely worth waking up in the morning for. I, too, once had a time in my life where the night was where I thrived with freedom from rejection, where solace was found in the self-ostricization from the rest of humanity. I, too, felt my entire being was only filled with barren emptiness, and my personality was long forgotten.

I still cannot recall what I once was before my mental illness. But I believe I am a grown version of that. I have little strands of gray in my hair from the stresses I inflicted upon myself. There are scars that remain that will never fade.

I am not ashamed of my scars anymore, I look back on them as a reminder of the tribulations I put myself through. My scars now serve as a warning that I cannot take my own mind for granted, nor can I put myself before another ever again. My scars remind me that I have fought the most difficult war a human being can ever sign up for.

My scars remind me every day that I have a purpose. When I see someone struggling down a path nostalgic to my own, I share those scars with them and assure them they are not alone.

My purpose in life is to be the friend I never had at my darkest hour.

Hello, reader. I am your friend. I am your confidant. I am indebted to you for giving me a reason to live.

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hereticaloracles · 8 years ago

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Full Moon in Scorpio- Wormwood

“There is an ancient tribal proverb I once heard in India. It says that before we can see properly we must first shed our tears to clear the way.” – Libba Bray

Effective Date: 5/10/2017

Helios’ Astrological Angle on the Full Moon in Scorpio5- Well, this Lunation is about to be one bitter pill to swallow. Yes, you have already had to deal with much, giving up on what you thought was important, and choosing the hills that you want to die on, but unfortunately it is not over for you. No, all that you have done so far is preamble. Look, you have to realize that not all things are possible, all at the same time. Yes, you can have it all, but you have to take the proper steps to get there, and sometimes that means taking a backstep. Remember, quite a bit of these skies are still Retrograde, way more than we are used to. That makes forward motion difficult, if not impossible. With all the planets Retrograde (Jupiter, Saturn and Pluto) and those who are still in Shadow from recent Retrogrades (Mercury, Venus, Vesta) we are having to refocus and reasses every foundation that we have built our lives on thus far. This may seem like a disaster to us, but we have to look ahead to see what is coming: Saturn in Capricorn. Specifically, I have had my eye on a specific moment when we will have Saturn in Capricorn, conjoining Pluto and Jupiter (this also happens to be my Saturn Return. Gods help me.) in 2020, so that will be fun.With his shadow looming large over us, everything starts to make more sense. These days, hell this whole retrograde-dominated year, is one big stress test for your life and what you have built for yourself. These moments can feel poisonous to you, and you will have to make drastic decisions if you want to get through it intact.

Artemis’ Tarot Take on the Full Moon in Scorpio- This is the last of it, Heretics. The North Node in Virgo, that is, and with it we are getting some cutting experiences. This is the culmination of you finding out just how much of a doormat you really are before the NN moves into Leo, the sign of Ego and Self Worth. But Virgo wants you to give you one last work review, and it’s going to be a particularly scarring one which will move you on to your next challenge – the North Node moving into Leo – aka finding your pride in how you re-confront your mistakes. Do you see failures as opportunities for transformation or do you see them as a wall that you cannot push through, boxing you in and suffocating you – forcing you to pace in circles for all of eternity? Usually when these situations hit us, when we are stuck in a room with a door that does not open whether we push or pull, it is time to start digging instead…

The Sun, Moon and Pluto– This one is going to cut you deep, y’all. The terrifying thing about the Moon mixing with Pluto is that the Moon shows Pluto your vulnerable spots, the soft belly that your spiny ridges and defenses protect. Of course, that means that Pluto will be attacking you on your Sun, aka through your ego. This is actually the least attractive tactic to Pluto, who prefers the stealth assault, and only uses this in two situations: Where he is completely confident in his power and willing to come out into the light; Or when he is desperate and no other recourse is available to him. Either way, in choosing the frontal attack, Pluto becomes vulnerable, as his main power comes from the shadows he hides in, in whispers and secrets. When he comes into the light he is exposed as less than what he pretends to be. So it will be for us during this moon. What terrifies us will be shown to be nothing more than the fears of a child, irrational and blown out of proportion.

We all have these fears lurking in our subconscious- about our self-worth and if we are good enough to get what we want, that sort of thing- But this Lunation will amplify that to the nth degree. The ones to look out for are the fears regarding love and our relationships, of our connection to spirit, and of failure leading us to play it far too safe in our dealings. You must not allow yourself to get sucked into the drama and power plays of others. Stay in your lane, and focus on what you are building. Never forget who you are, no matter what you have to do to rebuild.

(Minor Planets used: Juno, Ceto, Bienor, Magdalena, Minerva, Phaethon, Amor, Cyllarus, Klotho)

The Sun(Ace of Wands), Moon(The Tower), and Pluto (5 of Cups)- There is a dark serpent energy here, slithering its way into every crevice of your life and offering you another bit of the fruit that opens your eyes. Are you too scared to actually face what your world is really like? This moon is a visionary moon and wants to show you the truth; no matter how grotesquely it may manifest for we’ve all been lying to ourselves in one way or another and creating monsters because of this. Scorpio hates a liar – even a liar with good intentions – so truths she has to tell will always leave a shiver up your spine. The passion during this moon is extraordinarily intense and also extraordinarily sexual. This is all because this moon has been touched by Pluto (and we all know what happens when you are touched by Pluto, you get pulled into the fucking underworld – gnashing teeth and bodies of hell). Your sense for danger will be heightened and your aggression toward being dominated will become deadly under these stars. And pay close attention, Heretics, because people’s corruption will rise to the surface like swamp scum.

When animals sense danger, their sexual urges also increase. It’s a strange “mate before you can’t pass on your legacy” sort of feeling, and we are all experiencing the pressure in society. The depravity is far more evident than it ever was – no matter how dressed up we try to make the world and our lives. At this point it’s like putting lipstick on a corpse; we still see how dead the world is becoming day by day and we notice this death creeping into our own lives as well. We sit at work, wondering why the fuck we are really there and what the purpose of it all is – no matter how seemingly fulfilling your job may be, it is still feeding a dark system (Why does your yoga studio need a rich girl merchandise section if yoga is a spiritual art? Where is the money in your non-profit really going?) We are feeding our souls into a soulless machine that loves to lie to us and give us the illusion of purpose, and the burden of this daily activity is making our subconscious scream in terror – wanting to take a hammer to all the things around us. This moon is Kali energy – here to swallow whole false towers. And what happens when dismantling begins? Deceit gets far more intense. Enemies find a new wrath during this full moon, and an “evil” sort of energy prevails similar to what we had during the new moon in Scorpio back on Hallow’s Eve 2016. Your “demons” are coming back to play in hoards, and I suggest you do not ignore them and continue making them more grotesque due to your self delusion. You may call what you see “evil” but it is really just all of the massive amounts of repression being let out – oozing through our pours and permeating our dreams. This is a healing moon, but healing in a sort of violent way where you must sear the wound with fire in order to close it. Healing through “sex magick” is a must with this Pluto sextile, and a warning to keep your eyes open is also a must. It seems the universe wants to reveal some dangerous truths to us, and they may manifest in very violent and “sinful” ways.

Mercury, Saturn and Uranus– Harsh lessons are coming. These planets are cold in their expression, and very mental. Along with all the transneptunians involved here, that leads us to seeing some very stark realities. We are going to have to face our reality as it is, like running into a brick wall. There is no more burying your head in the sand with these guys, we all have to wake up and get to work. No matter how tired we are, how hurt, disillusioned, numb, forgotten or judged we feel; we cannot quit now. We must push on, and play the game. Hang on to what drives you, the dream of the future you seek to build, and there is no way that you can lose. Still, sometimes you have to bluff on a bad hand….

(Minor Planets used: Chiron, Eris, Sedna, Ixion, Varuna, Rhadamanthus, Damocles, Icarus, Rhiphonos)

Mercury (Hangman), Saturn (Ace of Pentacles), Uranus (High Priestess)- You ever have a really bad trip? You know, you take a bunch of psychedelics and you realize just how artificial everything is. You get the creeps when you look at advertisements, you want to shatter your tv, and you want to go lie outside in the grass and feel something real? It’s this weird understanding that we have built false laws into our lives – a sort of self imposed hell where we believe in weird things like light always prevailing and that somehow none of us have primal urges toward aggression. Why do you think we have the reptilian part of our brain that we do? There is a reminder here that we live in two worlds. One is the world which we have created that is based on abstract concepts like, “freedom,” and “justice,” and “morality,” etc, and the other world is the Scorpionic world – the one based off of the true order of things that rests just below the surface and wrecks our false dreams at every turn. And in the true order of things, death and violence and transformation is a daily occurring thing. Most humans live their lives trying to manifest themselves into the perfect marketed image of a human, when humanity is far more gritty and elusive and intense than we could ever believe.

There is wisdom in the chaos – wisdom in the violence of nature that we must take to heart and swallow like a pill. Do not ignore the fact that you can only gain false purpose if you follow an abstract path. There is reality, and there is human simulated reality that we have roped together as a collective. Do not let the latter weigh you down and make you feel any less than. Stick to your intuition during this lunation, and don’t fall for false prophets who promise you the gold of heaven or some sort of abstract method of breaking down human behavior. There is a wisdom you seek deep in mother earth – deep in reality and it’s true constructs that can only be intuited, not abstractly manifested by the mind.

Venus– Our girl is all alone, still playing by herself in the Aries sandbox, and that is probably how you are feeling right now as well- Alone, isolated, and trying to distract yourself from it until you have someone to play with. Take this time as a gift, and focus on yourself. Sure, doing so seems like an agonizing torment when you realize how out of touch you are with yourself, but I’m sure that it’ll be fine. Do whatever you have to in order to recover. Retreat from everyone, go to ground, and get back on track. Put your head down, work hard, get in bangin shape and get your money right. Fall in love with yourself again, remember why you are amazing and why you chose this path in your life. You are being so cruel to yourself, punishing yourself for perceived mistakes and failures, most of which you had no way to see coming or stop. You did the best you could with what you had, and there is no shame in that. Rediscover the magic in your life, and come back to it, ASAP- it might just save your soul.

(Minor Planets used: Orcus, Eros, Psyche, Hylonome, Crantor, Circe, Achilles, Siva)

Venus (5 Swords)- So it’s time to wrap up your payment for Venus Retrograde, where you may have destroyed your values for momentary delights. Our girl is just about out of shadow (another 9 days after this full moon), but the Scorpio energy of this lunation is going to be a bit of an inquisition. There is a “struggling against fate” energy here, where we may be attempting to get back something that we lost during Venus’ Babylonian rage through our lives. But, again, the lesson during this lunation is that not everything can be intellectualized and you must look deep into yourself to see if the right choices were made. Even if something feels painful and crushing, the severance of that limb may be the very thing that saves your life and lets you continue growing. You made the decisions you made, now there is no going back. So move on with it; I promise you there are greener pastures ahead that you just can’t see through the cloud of your tears. I know it is difficult to realize people’s true intentions with you, but Venus retrograded to show us that not everyone’s love is a positive influence on our life. Love is a wonderful thing, but some love is shackles of our past karma and repression. Some “love” just smooths things over gets us off, like a cheap prostitute, instead of forcing us to reckon with ourselves and truly transform into what we are meant to be. Don’t stay with lovers, don’t feed lovers that do not feed your purpose.

Mars, Jupiter and Neptune– The biggest thing that I hear from you guys is that you are lost, or don’t know what to do with your life after all that has happened to you. That is okay. Honestly, that’s the only sane reaction to what a lot of you have faced. The thing is, do you really have to do anything? No, don’t just dismiss that out of hand- think about it. What if you just do nothing? At some point it all just becomes too much; You can only plug up the holes and cracks in the dam for so long before it floods the town. Sooner or later, you need to focus on evacuating that town so that the disaster can happen with minimal loss of life. If you ignore the root problem and only treat the symptoms, then you never see any real improvements. Sometimes, everything needs to be destroyed so that you can start fresh again. This is looking more and more like one of those times, both in the world and for yourself. If you realize it and embrace it, then it will be easier than if you reject it until you are steamrolled by it.

Sometimes you have to lose, and its hard. Other times, you have to surrender and it’s even harder. The price of progress in those situations is your ego. When the only option you have is giving up, that is a heavy price to pay, but it means that you can live to fight another day, instead of fading away into insignificance with naught more than a whisper. Unfortunately, sometimes it is the only way. What I am proposing is not at all giving yourself over to the firing squad, no- what I am suggesting is that instead of going down with the ship as a romantic or heroic sacrifice, you get on a damn lifeboat. There is more to you that you have yet to do, and calling the curtain early is not in the cards for you. I’m sorry, because it feels like agony to see the stroy through to the end, but this must be done- there is no escape from your fate. Hold your head up high, and walk into the arena with your dignity, like a true hero.

(Minor Planets used: Pallas Athene, Asbolus, Okyrhoe, Teharonhiawako, Praamzius, Terpshichore, Lachesis, Orpheus, Narcissus, Chariklo, Hygeia, Persephone, Bacchus, Asclepius, Urania, Kassandra)

Mars (Temperance), Jupiter (10 of Wands), Neptune (5 of Wands)- Alejandro Jodorowsky once said, “Birds born in a cage think that flying is an illness.” Although I agree with Alejandro to an extent, I also believe that said birds have an instinct to fly that itches and prods at them to no extent yet their circumstances make it impossible to ever realize what that itching and prodding is actually for. Maddening, isn’t it? I find humans to be the exact same way. We play these abstract games with each other, not realizing that they are mere shadows of how reality truly manifests. Our joy is taxed right now, and we see no end in sight with all the burdens we have piled upon ourselves. But wait! The key is to continue churning out rawness no matter how tired you may feel by these burdens and the heaviness of cultural dogma. Keep sending out the signals so that other humans know they are not alone in feeling this maddening separation from our true nature. You do not have to be anything the powers that be are telling you to be, and they continue to dump more and more on you so that you suffocate under the structures instead of smash them – showing everyone else that you don’t have to live any particular way. It is time to use the master’s weapons against him, so figure out how to use the system to your advantage and temper a transformation as if this reality is some sort of training regime – a cocoon if you will. In short, don’t give up on your dream just because the world is shitting on it. When the ancient Greeks died, the primary question anyone asked was, “Did they have passion?” And if so, their life was worth something incalculable. “Success” in this world may be the death of your soul. So although right now you may have to resign to the system in order to feed your family and keep yourself out of the prison industrial complex, do not stop plotting your escape. If you do, your repression of your instinct to fly will continue to manifest as demons in your head and you will have to eternally confront them and explain why you would rather live in a lie.

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Full Moon in Scorpio- Wormwood was originally published on Heretical Oracles

#Fuck My Life #Pluto #scorpio #Scorpio Full Moon #Transformation #astrology #tarot #asteroid astrology #fuckstrology #bruja #brujeria

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nettvnow-blog · 8 years ago

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RJ Lackie & Stéphane Lachance | Dorian Gray

RJ Lackie and Stéphane Lachance, two of the forces behind Dorian Gray spoke with netTVnow on their current Phase One journey of IPF. Lachance and Lackie are no strangers to web series. The duo teamed up for Cycle 66's first series, The Soliloquies of Santiago and are currently in the works on Dorian. In addition to Cycle 66's works, Lackie can add writer/creator to KindaTV's Canadian Screen Award-nominated web series, Inhuman Condition, Streamy-nominated series All For One (co-created with Sarah Shelson), with other works seen in Couple-ish, V Morgan is Dead, IRL: The Series and upcoming sci-fi feature film Darken. Check out what else Lacki and Lachance have been up to below the jump and be sure to give their trailer a watch!

netTVnow: Let’s talk Dorian Gray, where did the concept for this series come from?

RJ Lackie: Dorian Gray is actually a kind of modernized sequel to Oscar Wilde’s famous The Picture of Dorian Gray, one of the most prominent pieces of ‘queer but not explicitly queer’ literature out there. This was actually one of the things that drew me to it. Queer characters in literature - and projects that explicitly or subtextually queer classic characters - fascinate me. It’s a reminder that LGBTQIA folk have always existed, even if our stories weren’t always safe to tell.

In 2014, it was in vogue to develop vlog-style Literary-Inspired Web series (LIW) concepts to see if another could be a similar flashpoint for the genre. Like many of my favourite projects, Dorian Gray started out of a pragmatic question: If I were to pursue an LIW, which public domain works spoke to me? I was particularly interested in finding queer male protagonists to explore, as one of my longstanding pet peeves in web series has been the dearth of queer men in shows not focused around identity or romance, an issue that was even more pronounced a few years ago. I was also interested in seeing whether an LIW could succeed with a queer male lead, particularly a queer man of colour, given the genre’s up-to-then preference for focusing on white, straight protagonists. This is how I first developed the concepts for The Soliloquies of Santiago, Cycle 66’s queer LIW modernisation of Othello, and the seed that would turn into Dorian Gray.

Stéphane Lachance: In 2015, I approached RJ about producing a web series, as I was interested in making one as part of the final project for my Master’s degree. We brought this idea to Adam Tepperman and Gavin Phillips, with whom we’d founded Cycle 66 to pursue a graphic novel project, and with their blessing Santiago became Cycle 66’s first web series project.

RJ: Around the time we were producing The Soliloquies of Santiago, my friend Steph Ouaknine helped launch Carmilla, and we got to see that show turn into a veritable hit. It demonstrated that there was the potential for a web series audience hungry for queer protagonists engaged in supernatural shenanigans. The audience who grew up on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, just like me, who wanted to see creators take what that show started and make it more diverse, more progressive, and more, well, gay. Around the same time we saw fandom build on canon by exploring the untapped potential of subtextual queer m/m pairings in shows like Supernatural and Teen Wolf. We realised that Dorian Gray, which we had already begun early development on, might be able to do for queer male audiences (like myself) what that show offered queer women: an exciting, badass show with a canon gay couple at its centre.

SL: So after we completed Santiago, realizing the limitations of self-funding, we decided to pitch Dorian to the Cogeco Fund’s all-new Development Program for Digital Drama Series. They offer funding to develop scripts, a series bible, a proof-of-concept video and other materials. They accepted us and thus, we were able to make our trailer.

NTN: And in short, how would you describe the series to those who haven’t seen your trailer?

RJ: Dorian Gray is a visually- and tonally-ambitious queer supernatural drama, full of action and sexuality. At its core, it is the story of two broken souls who find themselves entangled with one another: Heath, an artist who saw a hint of another world and was shattered by that glimpse of the unnatural sublime; and Dorian, an immortal hedonist who, in seeing how empty his search for greater and greater pleasure became, has turned into a bitter recluse hunting for the secret that will allow him to die. The two become bound together when Heath’s search to reconnect with the supernatural stirs up the attentions of Johanna Vane, Dorian’s most dangerous enemy… and as they work to fight a common foe, they realise their new bond runs deeper than either ever expected.

It is, in short, Buffy with a touch of the Gothic influences of Penny Dreadful, made for a generation who’s ready for the very queerness Wilde was forced to keep subtextual in the original novel.

NTN: What are your roles for the series?

SL: I’ll be producing the series alongside Adam and Gavin.

RJ: I’ll be acting as showrunner, helping my Cycle 66 partners oversee a talented group of cast, crew, and writers. Our key creative team also includes All For One director Shannon Litt, who directed our trailer and will return for the series, and Carmilla’s Ellen Simpson as story editor and writer.

NTN: I know you guys went through the IPF cycle last year and I’m so glad to see that Cycle 66 is doing it again, have you done anything differently this time around, if so what?

SL: The big change, production-wise, is that we’ve partnered with REVRY, an LGBTQ-focused streaming service, to produce the series. Over the last year, and during the last IPF cycle, we were looking for a distribution partner for Dorian Gray. REVRY approached us in August after having seen the trailer and we started working with them, first by making The Soliloquies of Santiago available on their service. They’re such a great match for the project and we feel that their involvement will definitely help us make Dorian Gray a reality.

RJ: We’ve also taken the opportunity to revamp our creative in subtle but hugely important ways. By embracing the rich heart of darkness from Wilde’s original novel, and the themes of morality, sexuality, and aestheticism from the world Wilde built, we found that the show’s creative really started to shine. Part of this was in how we thought about format: originally, we saw the show as a vlog/traditional hybrid optimised for a long-tail 20+-episode YouTube run. By dropping the vlog elements and focusing on shorter seasons where we could spend the money making the show as visually and thematically rich as possible, it shifted the tone away from an earnest hero’s journey and allowed us to find the poetry and dark humour we’d always wanted to explore. This led to some adjustments in how we approached the character of Heath, who - rather than the innocent-yet-heroic protagonist you find in many conventional tales - is now a more lost, complex POV character who connects with Dorian on a much deeper level. And we’ve found that REVRY is an amazing partner in allowing the show to own its mature elements, rather than shying away from them.

NTN: Since we're on the subject of Cycle 66 and REVRY, what is REVRY and what can folks expect with that partnership?

SL: REVRY is a paid streaming service based out of LA that offers LGBTQ content, which has recently launched their first original series Gayborhood. The series would be a REVRY Original, which means that digitally, it would be available exclusively through their service. In terms of partnership, they will guide Cycle 66 through the development of the series and offer us significant support with the crowdfunding campaign we will be launching if the IPF selects us for funding. They’ll also be promoting the series and the campaign. They’ve been invaluable in guiding us up until now and I don’t expect that to change.

NTN: Can you talk about the importance of having an organization like IPF?

SL: They are unquestionably important to webseries creators and, by extension, Canada’s media industry. During my Master’s, I did some research into web series monetization and funding and got the chance to ask questions to web series producers and creators. While many of them have been finding great ways to monetize their series, the notion of being full-on profitable is still elusive. And that’s a shame because the webseries space offers the chance for new voices to crop up and for new creatives to hone their skills.

RJ: The fact that the Fund is willing to take chances like it does means that Canada is developing a passionate core of experienced web series talent, from writers to cast to crew, who know the field and are discovering what works and what doesn’t. I hear from people all the time, how strong the web series coming out of Canada are, and I think the IPF - and its sister fund the Cogeco Fund - are a big part of that. If not for the Cogeco Fund, we would not have had the resources to produce our trailer for Dorian Gray, which has been a game-changer for us as a company in terms of visibility and industry respect.

NTN: Can you talk about the IPF submission process and what that’s been like?

RJ: The IPF process has been a trial by fire for our young company. It’s really tested our skills, especially going to Phase Two last year and demonstrating our abilities as producers: budgeting, audience engagement strategies, building producible creative. It’s a massive - and massively valuable - undertaking, which is why I appreciate that the IPF has asked first-time applicants to include a mentor in submissions as of this year. It really is a reminder that you can’t just love your project: you need to be able to make others believe in it, and that requires a whole lot of numbers and figures. It’s really cool to be returning to the IPF process with more experience and, in the form of REVRY, more support from a platform that is as excited about the project as we are.

NTN: Back to the series, what creative differences will you be taking with this series that differ from the original literary adaptation?

RJ: The main two changes from our approach last year both come down to prioritizing quality over quantity: reducing our episode count to maximise our budget-per-minute, and dropping the vlog-style elements from the show. While we adore the LIW genre and think it works fantastically for some stories, for us, stepping away from vlogging as a stylistic choice unexpectedly opened up a ton of creative opportunities that kind of took us by surprise. Tonally, it allowed us to commit to a darker, stranger vision for the show - and a more complex, less earnest vision of Heath at its centre. Once we reworked Heath as a lost, damaged soul with real stakes involved in his search for Dorian and the ‘other world’, the rest of the show - including the show’s supporting cast, tone, and sense of humour - snapped into place like it was meant to be from day one.

NTN: What are you most excited for audiences to see from the series?

RJ: There are so many things, honestly. This is the series I’ve craved for years: supernatural, fun, dark, with characters standing on the very edge of another world they don’t completely understand. Huge, powerful emotions. An examination of what it means to connect with that part of the world that is so beautiful that it can destroy you, which ties so interestingly into a lot of Wilde’s thoughts on aestheticism and the value of beauty. And a queer romance at the centre of it! Between two strong-willed, interesting men whose bond is genuinely powerful. I know why fans read Destiel and Sterek fanfiction because I do too - we crave a gay romance that has that much chemistry and potency at the centre of a show like this, not just subtext. Just generally, I want to show that you can make a show with queer men at its heart that is fun, badass, and moving without forcing queer audiences to only see themselves at the sidelines. It’s something I’ve always wanted to see on TV, I’m so excited to be able to bring this to life.

SL: Just as a producer, I can’t wait for folks to see what we can do with more resources. We’ve already worked with great casts and crews on Santiago and the Dorian Gray trailer. We’ll be upping our game for this series, and that is exciting in and of itself.

RJ: Also: fight sequences! Our villain Vane, who is terrifying and fascinating and strangely sympathetic - and so, so fun to write. Our ensemble cast of supporting players, who I think will be a ton of fun to see build a rapport. While we loved producing Santiago - like Stéphane says - it is such a great opportunity to try new, bigger things. Things not shot entirely in my apartment.

NTN: Where do you hope the web series community will be in the next 5 years?

SL: In terms of making web series, I hope there are more opportunities and avenues for them to become profitable. More distributors, more buyers and more sponsors. If more creators can make money making these series, and even better, make a living doing it, there’s going to be more great shows for everyone to enjoy.

RJ: This might be a pipe dream - particularly for only five years down the line - but I’d love to reach the point where making a web series is primarily a creative choice rather than a choice coming down to resources. While I think that, as long as the form exists it offers a chance for emerging teams to show what they can do on a microbudget, I’m also really looking forward to the day when a creator or producer will be able to look at TV and web series as equally valid forms and select the one that’s creatively best for the project. Once upon a time, TV was seen as an inherently lesser art form, and I think that’s where web series are right now. If we can crack the profitability question, with all the inventive and interesting creators developing in the space, maybe reaching that point in five years is more possible than any of us realize.

NTN: Any upcoming projects that you guys can share? Or anything else to add?

RJ: Obviously, as a super-indie company, we don’t have a massive development budget for new projects, and our primary focus right now is getting Dorian Gray made. But we’re also constantly developing new concepts - for digital and beyond. We’re really excited about the opportunities for low-budget creative innovation in the podcasting space, which is one area we’re actively developing projects in. In terms of digital series, we’re exploring funding options for two really cool projects: an action-oriented queer supernatural drama with a focus on immersive worldbuilding called Dead City Blues, and an interactive sci-fi series focused on questions of AI and personhood called Beautiful Max.

SL: As for Dorian Gray specifically, we’re hard at work preparing for Phase Two, ahead of the IPF’s shortlist. We want to get ahead of everything so that we’re able to receive funding from the IPF. They typically contribute most but not all of a series’ funding, so we’re going to need fans of supernatural and queer series to get the word out to the world, so we can make sure this series gets made - and gets made right. If selected, we’ll be launching a crowdfunding campaign to secure the last portion of our budget.

RJ: And, if you guys get really excited and help us go above and beyond our ask, well, we’re still writing the scripts, but let’s just say we’ll make every single dollar count. We want to make a show so awesome it redefines what people think webseries can be: sexy, fun, dark, and honestly, better than TV. If we get the chance.

Follow RJ Lackie Twitter

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neven-ebrez · 7 years ago

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Supernatural's Narrative Structure Throughout the Years

Supernatural has seen four showrunners (with one consistent one throughout, Robert Singer), which are: Eric Kripke, Sera Gamble, Jeremy Carver and now, Andrew Dabb. At the beginning, the show focused on a more simplistic method of storytelling; the protagonists Sam and Dean Winchester went up against urban legends while looking for their elusive father. Twelve seasons later and this pilot season marks the only true exception to the show’s narrative structure. Starting in season 2 the show adopts a method of storytelling known as the A/B/C structure. There is a “A” plot (known as the show’s “mytharc”), its “B” plot (its character development arc, usually shown through the lens of Dean Winchester, but the show frequently, especially in its later years, shows this through others), and then finally, its “C” plot, which exists in the form of “filler episodes” referred to as “Monsters of the Week”, or MOTW for the purposes of the meta writing community. And it is through this mirrored structure that the complete story of Supernatural is told.

Dean Winchester is the show’s lens of righteousness (earlier on, but this shifts from time to time) and it is through him that the adopted structure of the show reveals both its strength and weakness. Dean has learned not to talk about his hard life and frequently when he is begged to share his feelings, they are dismissed (unfortunately by Sam, Bobby, and Cas at various points) in favor of the show’s enforcement of toxic masculinity (oh, drama!) to maintain such structure needed to support a static two lead format. Instead of Dean talking about his feelings, they are told through the show’s MOTW characters and situations. This process is referred to as “the ‘C’ plot mirrors the 'B’ plot”, discussed further in length here. Because of the various degrees of repression carried by our main characters, the show uses other characters to tell their stories with words. The show often also creates whole characters to represent ideas, both simple (Bela Talbot, S3) and complex (Amara, S11). Almost every character that is not Sam and Dean, especially in later seasons, is created and crafted to tell the story of them. This creates situations where the show is frequently problematic in its social message/image because it’s using a multitude of diverse often under represented characters to tell the story of two white textually straight male leads, and then later, its two most often recurring regulars. Because these things are not socially equal, the show endures quite a lot of justified criticism as a result.

With the departure of Kripke came the beginning of structural chaos and uncertainty. Season 6 is driven by questions that seemingly have no answer against a plot that had just been done. The Apocalypse was being put back on the rails and Castiel was dealing with it mostly offscreen, unlike Sam and Dean who, as leads, got to deal with it visibly in every episode in season 5. This caused the audience to not experience the sense of urgency and desperation that Castiel is going through and it proves to be a structural weakness throughout the whole season as Sam and Dean deal with the fallout of Castiel’s righteousness in the form of Sam’s hell damage from his damaged soul in the cage and Crowley’s experiments on monsters, which is seemingly without purpose until the end of the season draws near and we finally see the importance the monsters hold. Banished of Lucifer, the recurring addition of Crowley provides the show with a central point in which Hell will now operate going forward. This is the season in which Castiel begins the pattern making the mistakes of Sam. And it is from this point that the show’s mirrored storytelling reaches new heights, most of which are predictable, unfortunately. Just as Sam and Dean release Lucifer, Cas releases the Leviathan into the world and thus we are shuttled into season 7, Apocalypse 2.0, monster edition (instead of angels/demons).

Carver era saw the dawn of a new light in the show. It is often called a reboot of the show. Castiel was back, Netflix produced a new influx of viewership, and the show had more or less cemented itself into the CW fold, renewed late and against all hope from grave of Friday night. Conventions and streaming media provided a life line that gave way to a new form of structure on the show: precised mirrored storytelling in the form of a (possible, likely) three act structure. In Carver era, (unlike its predecessors) things became driven by a repetitive thematic means and the genre of the show was shifted to something with an adventurous tone. The Winchesters were going to close the Gates of Hell! Instead of reactive, our characters were thrust into being proactive. This shifted the structure onto choice… and consequence. Every detail fed into this: pop culture references, color coding within the visual framework, characters created that represented specific emotional struggles for our characters to interact with and conquer (or die through). Season 8 is easily compared to Star Wars episode IV in terms of its place in Carver Era. While Star Wars episode IV could function as a stand alone (seeing as the show didn’t realize the introduction of its lifeline yet), it was made to function as part of a beginning of a much longer and detailed story.

Once again in season 8 Sam and Cas began to take on the role of pushing the mytharc along, with Sam completing the Hell trials to close the Gates and Cas breaking Heaven’s control over him to close the Gates of Heaven. The role of Castiel (while visually is reduced from seasons 4, 5 and 6), in relation to his relationship with Dean, becomes significant. A vast number of narrative structural mirrors are put into place to frame the relationship a certain way, and they are definitively romantic in nature. The Dean/Cas relationship then begins to be told exclusively through interspecies romantic relationships, with a significant amount needing to break some kind of hold over a supernatural being, reflecting Naomi’s reprogramming of Castiel to kill Dean (8x11-8x17). The text and subtext of this season is further queer coded to a significant degree, evident very early on by reference to such works as Cat on a Hot Tin Roof (8x03), among many others. Carver was taking the Dean/Cas relationship very seriously and it was a showrunning decision that would drive the storyline in structure just as much as the Dean/Sam one going forward, even after his departure. Cas, meanwhile, is given a lot of structural baggage to explain away his absence as a regular instead of a lead. Not that he wasn’t crafted this way before, but soon a structural decision would come that tied both the Dean/Cas storyline and the Dean/Sam one together in a way that would prove inseparable. The choices made in the season 8 finale (with both Cas and Sam trying to leave Dean alone) are the consequences that would fester and bleed into the new season and the rest of Carver era.

Consequences. Choice. “I did what I had to…”

Post midseason finale in season 9, narrative mirrors begin in earnest that take the foreshadowing for Dean to die into high gear. These are vague and non-specific, however, with the decision to turn Dean into a demon through the Mark of Cain being made late into the season. The death of Abaddon (and the possibility that she would simply possess him) seals Dean’s structural fate, as he is killed by what it narratively represents, the block to his character development. It is here that the show hits a structural sag with season 10, the Mark of Cain being structurally translated into a variety of narrative woes: a disease that infects Dean’s heart, a catalyst which amplifies Dean’s already weary and repressed soul, a force from which there is no destruction and no relief.

The network would not allow them to kill God. And while I have no absolute certainty from which to draw on here, I can only guess that either Amara was going to die also, most possibly to restore balance to the universe as Chuck’s death would cause everything to be destroyed. We never get to know the truth of the structure as Chuck is effectively only injured, not killed. And Amara makes the choice to heal him and forgive him instead of them sharing oblivion together. Amara then gives Dean back the thing she determines he needs most: his mother. And it is here that Dabb era officially begins, Dabb having shadowed the running of the show at the end of the season following the mid season silent departure of Carver.

Mary and Cas begin to mirror each other (as we contemplate their significance to Dean) and drive the story, each wishing to make amends and give Sam and Dean a world they feel is best without either of them asking how Sam and Dean feel about their actions. This sees Mary siding with the British Men of Letters and Cas pursuing Lucifer in an attempt to cage him once more, having let him out to deal with Amara last season in another attempt to save Dean from action (Cas’ need to die for the Winchesters is a plot line that’s long overdue for resolution). We see Mary being made to earn her place as family through her realizing why Cas already has. It is the most passive Sam and Dean have ever been in the structure, with everything mostly driven by Mary and Cas along with the overall theme of what it means to truly love and sacrifice to earn the label of “family”. For this, Cas is given a structural death sentence. And Supernatural delivers, painfully. A portal to another world is opened up courtesy of Jack, the nephilim of Lucifer and it is here that Dabb era ultimately takes us: a new world of possibilities. The same can not, however, be said of the show’s narrative structure, which seems to be on a one way road and has been for a long, albeit slow, time.

Dean has forgiven Mary for setting him on the path to have a robbed childhood, effectively wrapping up the long drawn out Mark of Cain storyline. Forgiveness. Love. Family. New beginnings. These are the themes that run through Dabb era. Dean is finally given everything and then within the space of one episode it has been taken away. The nephilim introduces the show to once again ask the age old question: “nature or nuture?”, as Sam and Dean are forced to deal with an unprecedented force thrust upon them in their moments of grief, well, mostly Dean’s grief, according to the PR around the new season. Like Carver before him, Dabb era looks to be using a three act structure, with Carver’s final act serving also as Dabb’s beginning. This would place season 13 quickly through the realms of Star Wars V-VI. Things are bleak, hope has quickly been lost, the lover has been taken and the family has been torn apart. A dark empire looms. And it is here that Dabb era continues, which has many threads that still needing tending.

A reason to live.

This is what Castiel needs to be given once he comes back. Not just a reason to die, but a reason to not leave Dean. Dean telling him he’s “family”, that he’s their “brother”, that Dean simple “needs” him… none of this has worked, has been enough to get Cas to stay. The effective elimination of “guardian” saw Cas throwing himself into another guardianship role upon the rejection of the label by Dean. For a long time now, Supernatural structure has been crafted around the parameters which would make Dean happy, condemning all actions by characters that go against this and helping Dean eliminate the roadblocks to his own happiness. Mary and Cas made the wrong decisions to save Dean from pain and are thus punished by the narrative for such actions. It is here, in Dabb era, that the Winchesters are finally made to contemplate the actions of others towards their survival and they are made to suffer for it, Dean more than Sam.

The return of Cas, we are told, will represent a turning point for Dean. And while Sam tries to get the nephilim to reopen the door to the world where they lost their mother, the nephilim himself will be made to question what makes him who he is. Like Sam, he is given powers he can’t control and like Dean, he doesn’t want to become his father (all according to the PR anyway). Jack is effectively painted as a mirror for both Dean and Sam to reflect upon themselves and their actions, the power of their choices. I’m sure Cas will experience the same kind of narrative mirror in Jack, but only time will tell for sure on that one. As getting Mary back falls mostly to Sam (Dean having thought her to be dead), I can only guess that getting Cas back will mainly be a plot for Dean, Sam having been regaled to Dean’s support on all things Cas by reassuring him for a while now. And while Dean and Cas are no longer being portrayed by same sex/interspecies/lover mirrors by the narrative anymore (in favor of sibling mirrors or unrequited love mirrors, which both illustrate Cas’ POV for what Dean says they are and what Cas fears they are), I think a great deal can be gleamed by seeing exactly how Dean handles his death (as opposed to the other times). To push the sibling mirrors of 12x11 and 12x20, one would think they wouldn’t burn his body, much like Sam and Dean never burn one another’s, but I doubt this is the case, as the text has been pulling Dean in mostly one way towards Cas, though how clear the show will be is always a matter of speculation, but they haven’t honestly given themselves much room on this, structurally speaking (though we all have seen how Supernatural sometimes betrays its structure for various reasons, as noted above several times).

It’s hard to say what, if anything, Michael’s desire will translate into in the broader sense of the structure. I just don’t know enough to even take a guess except to maybe say it’s showing the difference in Sam and Dean’s view of the nephilim (Sam wanting to control/use him, and Dean wanting to kill him), in the form of Michael versus Lucifer but that is simply not a sustainable structure. It is clear, however, that the apocalypse world in general is meant to serve as visual shorthand in the realigning of Sam and Dean as moral centers in the Supernatural universe. While it was hard to side with Dean’s actions in Carver era post S9 (and Lord knows, the show almost lost me), it is quite easy to see here that without Sam and Dean, things would be so, so much worse. Mary’s fate is also a murky matter. One would guess that since she is a part of Dean’s happiness in having a whole family, that she is essential to keep alive (Dean seeking her to talk about his feelings and such) and that the show would not kill her being that it’s gotta be close to its end. The show’s failure to promote Sam Smith to regular does not work to Mary’s favor in terms of survival (especially since it promoted Alex Calvert and Mark Pellegrino to regulars instead). It could be that the show plans to transplant her onto the spinoff at the end of the season but I’m not sure that’s the case, obviously.

And while I think the show will toe the line with the nephilim being good or bad, I think he’ll ultimately be good, or rather, do something good, perhaps in the Apocalypse world. The structure simply demands it. With a big bad like Michael potentially coming to our world there’s really little room for Jack to ultimately be bad, too. I’m sure he’ll have some set backs, but there’s really only one logical way the show can go there. It will be interesting to see how much Mary drives the story this year, but I’m guessing she won’t much and neither will Cas. I think Sam and Dean’s interaction with the nephilim will do this instead, which means he’ll need to give them each something they want. For Sam this is Mary and for Dean this is Cas. Meanwhile, Dabb has given the show a good lifeline in the mythology sense in the form of a multiverse. Instead of closing doors like his predecessors, he has quite literally opened them. For Supernatural’s narrative structure, it’s a whole new world.

#supernatural meta #narrative structure #spn spoilers #speculation #pr is not showrunning #narrative structure through the seasons #i wrote way more and simplified way more than i thought i would #and i have zero time to respond to this so it is open to discussion #see you all tomorrow #wow #you can't see how much i hate season 10 in this #i'm proud of myself for simply moving things along

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