#and that tackles a specific kind of terror

[waterlogged-detective]

is one of the books Doe is made of the King in Yellow solely because it's my favorite book?

Mayhaps

[txttletale]

i have no patience for people talking about violent rhetoric on the left really because every day i read the news and every politician in this country and in most others is saying 'we gotta kill more people'. they use different words to say it. obviously you're not supposed to just say 'we gotta kill more people'. but there's all kinds of polite and okay ways to say it.

'we need to control our borders' is a phrase which here means 'we gotta kill more people, we gotta drown more refugees in boats, we gotta send more people back to warzones and governments that want them dead, we gotta make more camps and we gotta make the camps more fatal'.

'we need to be tougher on welfare fraud' is a phrase which here means 'we gotta kill more people, we gotta make disabled people do more song and dance routines to convince some indifferent bureaucrat that they deserve to eat and we gotta make sure that the bureaucrats say 'no', we gotta starve those kids more, we gotta make sure families and kids and old people are freezing in the winter'.

'we need to tackle violent crime' is a phrase which here means 'we gotta kill more people, specifically Black people, unless we said Terrorism instead of Crime, in which case it's specifically muslims, shoot them, imprison them, surveil them, disappear them, brutalize them, whatever.'

and of course none of this is Violent Speech. this is Sensible Political Discourse. these are Common-Sense Policy Goals. we gotta kill more people: that's an electable policy. you can always count on we gotta kill more people as a platform. we gotta kill more people is gonna sweep the nation baby. we gotta kill more people 2024 -- vote now on your phones. now slow down. hold your horses. did that guy just say we gotta kill more people? well that just wont do. thats why im running on a platform of we gotta kill more people for cheaper, to stop this wasteful madness. and the people just keep dying but seems like there's still some of them left so i guess we're just circling back around to our main thing which is: we gotta kill more people

[evilminji]

A Moral Dilemma! Question!

Let's say there is a trucker. An average man. Kind enough, did okay in school, loves his wife and misses her like you wouldn't believe every time he has to go. Misses his little girl even more. HATES he's missing the early years of her life. First day to school, getting her up and brushing her hair into pigtails, making pancakes like his Pa used to make. The works.

But the economy is shit. Him and his wife have to work. Make ends meet. They're DESPERATE to get out of Gotham. Move somewhere boring. Safe.

But... well, places like that cost money. Kids cost money. And he did OKAY in school. Not a lot of jobs out there for "Okay" guys from Gotham.

His cousin finds him a route though. A solid job. Really pulled through when push came to shove and things were looking bad. Like he might have to take up that offer to Goon. Now he's a trucker.

And his route? Well the half way point is Amity Park. He stops to stay the night every time. Never really STAYS, has heard they got themselves a Cape and such, but? It is what it is. He's from Gotham. He minds his business. Parks on the outskirts of town to avoid getting hit.

Doesn't realize, he's getting SOAKED in Ectoplasm every time he's in town.

And this trucker? Not the healthiest man. He wishes he could be. But life on the road is not exactly conducive to fresh fruit and leafy greens. He eats more grease and sugar then his doctor would EVER recommend. In fact, has specifically warned him not too.

But some days you just need a warm meal. You miss your kid, your wife, your bed. And you know it'll be days before you can see any of them. But at least there is pancakes.

You can pretend you're eating with your family. Or at least, let the coffee be warm enough for the two of you. God, but the poor man is tired.

And as he gets close to Gotham?

Breaking News!

The Joker. AGAIN. The trucker cringes, horror filling him. What poor soul has that mad man hurt NOW? When will it end? Him and his wife are so close to getting the hell out. Thinking Kansas. His wife has been joking about pie baking competit-

No.

Oh God No.

There, on the screen, tears streaming down her beautiful face? Is the love of his life. His best friend. His EVERYTHING. And in her arms, trying so, so hard to be quiet. To muffle her terror born sobs... is his little girl. One pigtail torn from its srunchie, blood on her tiny face.

The trucker knows how this story ends.

Batman will try. He ALWAYS tries. And sometimes... sometimes that's enough. But he knows the odds here. His family are in front. Stars of this sick show. The trucker can't breathe. His heart is pounding, too hard for a man of his health.

He's not young. Should be on blood pressure meds he simply cant afford. Is panicked by a terror few should ever suffer. And? What runs in his family, strikes true. It feels so far away, the pain in his chest. He... No, he can't.

He can't.

His family.

He can't die. Leave them. They're in danger! They can't die like this. So close to freedom. Happiness. They... the..y.. ca..n..t...

.

.

THEY WON'T. HE REFUSES.

~~~

So! Here in comes the QUESTION! As you sit, watching this terrified child call for her father, ripped from her begging mothers arms, you see a green opaque man full body tackle the Joker.

You watch his eyes visible glow and change color, fight a visible STRUGGLE, like jeckle and Hyde, for control of his body. Between the monster known as Joker and what seems to be? The little girl's newly Meta father.

The Father wins.

You watch the Bat arrive with the police. Thank the man and say he can release Joker into custody. See the EXACT moment the Meta realizes something. Turns to look at his daughter, then his wife. Looks back at the commissioner.

Says "No".

Is he right to do this? To Possess the Joker, as a life sentence, to insure the safety of others? He is perfectly will to sit that life in a jail cell. Knows he will never be allowed to roam free again. But! The Joker is contained.

Is this Right? Or merely emotionally satisfying?

Discuss :3

@hypewinter @hdgnj @the-witchhunter @ailithnight @nerdpoe

[bonefall]

Better Bones: CW List

Can't believe I have to make this disclaimer, but here we are

Better Bones is not a project that aims to fix canon by making the Clans wholesome and unproblematic. Though there can be fun and kindness in it and my philosophy is an optimistic one, It's not an escapist fantasy. It is a story about semi-realistic cats of human intelligence in a violent, war-obsessed theocratic dictatorship, and how they attempt to change it over the years.

Clan Culture is flawed, that is on purpose. Addressing and changing this is what the story is about.

I am very disappointed I have to state this because it should be obvious from my main post where I explicitly say that my goal is to "Address (Canon's) Problematic Elements." Not remove.

If you cannot handle themes or depictions of;

Physical and emotional abuse; Domestic, authoritative, and familial

Child abuse and inter-generational trauma

Somewhat graphic medical discussion, such as abortion, wound infection, and the use of leeches and maggots

The killing and processing of small animals into food, including tanning and butchery

Semi-realistic cat behaviors, specifically marking things with urine

Ableism; both externalized and internalized, Clan culture treats disabled cats poorly and this is something several characters struggle with

Xenophobia; to a violent degree, including stochastic terrorism, hate crime, and discrimination

^^^ read that one again. Consider that on this list twice.

Politics; Authoritarianism, fascism, and liberalism as an enemy, discussion of dog whistles and ideology

"Redemption arcs" of people who did bad things

Cosmic horror and supernatural curses

Graphic violence, including against innocent bystanders, through assault, poisoning, drowning, falling, and even being eaten alive by large fish and demigods.

Animal abuse; Human beings harming cats on purpose and Clan cats generally being terrified of all humans, even kind and loving ones

Clan cats, both villainous and culturally mislead, glorifying these things in-universe, not immediately staring at the camera and breaking character to tell you "This Is A Bad Thing!"

Then Better Bones may not be for you. I would at minimum rate this project as PG-13, but PG-16 would be a more accurate bet.

I have sympathy for you if these are not topics you can handle. My project tackles very upsetting real-world issues and not everyone is looking for something challenging; that's understandable and there's no fault in that. I try to tag appropriately but can't promise to catch everything, so please keep yourself safe.

There are other, softer projects out there run by cool people if this is not for you, and you can add #Better Bones AU to your tag filters and this project will not show up!

But, I'm not responsible for your comfort with my art. If you followed me under the assumption that BB is "Warriors without any ableism/xenophobia/violence" you were mistaken. If you don't have the maturity to act responsibly when something upsets you, or DO have the malice to read a disabled person's work with the most bad faith interpretations you can muster, LEAVE.

[teecupangel]

Despite not having played the game since Skull Merchant came out, Dead by Daylight AU where Desmond (and somehow, Clay) is in the Entity's Realm and is both a Survivor and a Killer (never at the same time).

Desmond's Survivor perks could include seeing the footsteps of the Killer, make a small trap that when a Killer walks through it would allow Desmond to see the killer for a few seconds, and possibly an exhaustion perks that's similar to Decisive Strike in which you get to attack/tackle the Killer and stun them (and drop any Survivor if they're carrying anyone) (maybe only activate when full health? Idk, brain says game balance) (Brain tried it's best trying to come up with some perks that reflect his ancestors but also himself- idk, did my best with these while also double checking the wiki to make sure the perks aren't overlapping with another pre-existing character's perks.

Unsure about Desmond's killer perks but his ability I would like to think would be a callback to him and the Animus specifically. Whenever he's the Killer, the Entity forces him into a familiar state of being in the animus and he has to reach full Synchronization to get all the buffs from it and all. (Possibly, every 25% of synchronization equals +haste as well as -terror radius. 100% synchronization could be him going Undetectable and no red stain)

To counteract this, Survivors are able to find cryptic code symbol writings (call back to Clay's blood message things in the animus in the 2nd game kinda) and interact with them. Once interacted, they can set back The Subject (Des' killer name) Synchronization. (AT 0% Synchronization, The Subject's terror radius would be larger then usual at 40 meters like Wesker)

But anyways, I feel like Desmond would get along with Vittorio, if only cause Desmond would be able to have regular conversations with him in old Italian and such. And if Desmond bleeds Ezio every so often when he's around Vittorio, more long conversations. (Also, I want to see Desmond's reaction to see Laurie Strode, Resident Evil characters, and Nicholas Cage in person and such) XD

You gave me an excuse to think of a game mechanic so that’s where Imma focus my answer for this one hahahaha

I feel like his perk should be something connected to the Eagle Vision in some kind. Maybe like, setting up a trap would let him activate Eagle Vision as long as he’s setting the trap. Then when the Killer sets on the trap, he becomes illuminated in Desmond’s vision for a few seconds like you suggest and would leave a trail similar to how the Eagle Sense worked in AC Revelations.

If you want to add a balance to Desmond’s version of the Decisive Strike, we can make it into an Air Assassination where Desmond has to ensure that he times his attack right AND calculate the right distance otherwise he’d miss and he would have a long animation that the Killer can use to their advantage.

As a Killer, I think it would be cool if part of his deal is that he doesn’t want to be a Killer but the Bleeding Effect took over and he glitches every so often to his Bleeds.

His synchronization skill is also connected to this. The higher his synchronization rate is, the longer the time he shows up as a glitching version of one of his ancestors.

100% synchronization fully commits him to one of his Bleeds and there’s a randomness to which Bleeds he becomes.

(Unless you buy the specific skins that will make his Bleed turn into that specific ancestor 100% because, let’s be honest, Desmond’s Killer state would be more like different characters lollol so they gonna milk it with DLC costumes!)

His Bleed of Altaïr is the fastest and his main attack is an AOE grapple by glitching Assassin ghosts. Using the AOE though lowers his speed to that of an old man until the end of the AOE’s animation.

His Bleed of Ezio is middle of the pack. He’s not quite as fast as Altaïr but he can attack while moving and, if he keeps still, he can see the ‘trail’ left behind by survivors.

His Bleed of Ratonhnhaké:ton has the longest range but is a single target. He can use his rope dart to grab onto a fleeing survivor and drag them back (very “Get over here!” kind of deal).

His Bleed of Haytham though… well… Haytham is a strange one. He has the lowest possibility of being picked (everyone has 30%, Haytham has 10%) and he has the same speed as Ezio’s. The special thing about him is that he actually has the highest range of terror radius BUT anyone who is caught in that radius actually slows down, an impending doom that you can try to escape. Another thing about Haytham’s Bleed is that he has a time limit unlike the others and can only be used around 20 seconds then Desmond’s synchronization would return to 90% and he would get another random Bleed once he reaches 100%.

During Haytham’s Bleed though, everyone hit by his terror radius will be marked and can be seen even if there’s a wall or anything in between.

The moment Haytham’s Bleed ends, the mark stays for 5 seconds before disappearing.

I can say with certainty that, due to October 29, 1978, Desmond and Michael Myers will have some unresolved sexual tension that makes other killers/survivors go “????”. Freddy also kills to mess with him because, according to him, Desmond’s nightmares taste delicious. Survivors don’t necessary trust him because he prefers to hunt down the killers hunting them down but Ada Wong seems to like teaming up with him (maybe give a hint that, in another world, Ada Wong herself could have been a rogue Assassin)

Desmond would be so confused when he meets Nicolas Cage because a lot of the survivors and killers he knows as fictional characters but Nicolas Cage is an honest to god real actor. Becomes even trippy-er when Nicolas Cage tells Desmond that he knows Desmond as a fictional character too. Like… what. The. Fuck.

Desmond and Laurie Strode usually complain about Michael Myers but even Laurie knows Michael’s ‘fascination’ with Desmond is different from hers.

[luulapants]

What do you recommend currently for people that commit hate based crimes and have jo imtention to stop doing so ? Do you have protocols in place for the people you interact with, or does this fall under" we're not abolishing prison tomorrow"? I don't know how well therapy can tackle this.

This does largely fall under "we are not abolishing prison tomorrow," and I would encourage you to read this comic about why questions like this aren't actually productive in discussions about prison abolition.

Prisons actively make extremist ideology of all kinds worse. A lot of white people who go into prisons a little bit racist come out supporting Nazi ideology through groups like the Aryan Brotherhood. Odinism, a white supremacist bastardization of Heathenism, actively recruits in prisons because the people there are so vulnerable to their messaging. Other extremist groups who have grown specifically because of the captive audience prisons provide include Five Percenters and other extremist offshoots of what is generally referred to as "Prison Islam" and various prison gangs (many of which operate exactly like cults).

Prison officials, by the way, have little incentive to discourage racialized extremist gangs because they divide prisoners against one another, which makes them less likely to cooperate in resistance against the prison itself. In fact, when alarms were raised after 9/11 that US prisons were a security liability and that Osama Bin Ladin specifically cited prisons as fertile ground for recruiting Al Qaida members. The law enforcement community, who were otherwise in a paranoid panic about all things Islamic Extremism, immediately dismissed the issue. No one wants to talk about prison extremism.

All of this is to say that, no, we are not abolishing prison tomorrow, but in the meantime, prisons are actually one of the major sources of racism, extremism, and domestic terrorism in the US. So perhaps the question is not "Can we afford to abolish prisons when we have to deal with people committing hate crimes?" but "Can we afford to keep prisons open when they are causing so many hate crimes?"

[lullabytaeyong]

Creepy Crawlies - R!Kai

(Tw: Spiders) And I know they aren’t technically bugs but I still call them that in this lol

Kai giggled contently in the bathtub, a red bath crayon in his hand and bubbles surrounding him. He dragged the crayon in crazy scribbles all over one of his drawings since he knew it had to be rinsed away soon. Soobin watched him with amused smirk on his face while he waited for the water to drain. Once it did he used the shower head to wash away the left over bubbles on Kai's skin and the artwork he made. He wrapped him up in a fluffy towel and ruffled his hair wildly with it to make him laugh.

"Okay, jammie time. Arms up!" Soobin said brightly after drying him off completely. He knelt down and helped him with his pants and dinosaur socks.

"There you go. Do you want to watch a movie be-"

"Ahhhh!!" Kai suddenly cried in Soobin's face, pointing over his shoulder. "Spider!"

Kai burst into tears and tried to climb on to Soobin's lap in a panic. He hated bugs! They scared him to death when he was little. Soobin stood up quickly and sat Kai back on the floor. He spun around frantically, searching for something to get rid of it with. He snatched a tissue box and spotted the spider on the floor.

"Nooo!! Don't kill it!" Kai wailed, flailing his arms.

"What do you mean? I thought you wanted it gone?"

"Gone gone! Don' hurt him! Will feel bad!"

"Okay, okay" Soobin said semi calmly over the loud cries. He dropped the tissue box and turned around, leaving to get a cup and piece of paper.

Huening kai couldn't help but stare down the vile creature. He hated it! He was so scared! But, if he didn't keep an eye on it he could lose it and it could come back to terrorize him. Tears kept falling down his pink cheeks, as he waited for Soobin's return. The spider crawled an inch in Kai's direction and he shrieked loudly. He pushed him self harder against the tiled wall, as if it could swallow him whole and keep him safe from the little beast.

Soobin sprinted back into the bathroom and immediately trapped the spider under a white cup. He approached Kai before actually catching it to calm him down. The boy was in hysterics, sobbing and squirming. Soobin hushed him and pulled him into his arms while he sat on the floor.

"It's okay, baby. Shhh, I'm taking care of it."

Sometimes the boys forgot how intense Kai's phobia of spiders truly was. He was usually alright with tiny ones, just some shivers and whining here and there, but there were specific ones that had a specific look to them that sent him into a fit of tears. Apparently, one of those kinds of spiders decided to tour their bathroom today.

"It's under a cup right now, so it won't get to you. I promise. It's alright, sweetheart." Kai had his eyes tightly squeezed shut and didn't dare to take a peek. His anxiety was pouring intrusive thoughts into his head about being covered with the bugs. He cried harder into Soobin's chest and begged him to get him out of there. He knew it was still close, the cup being over it didn't make it disappear; he knew that.

"Wan' go to Junnie! Want Papa! Please!" He hiccuped. Soobin acted instantly and carried Kai swiftly out of the bathroom and across the hall to Yeonjun's room. The eldest wasn't actually there, he was in some other room with headphones on, so Soobin texted him.

"Okay, you sit here all nice and comfy and I'll go get rid of the 'you know what' while you wait for your Papa. Okay?" Soobin said after plopping Kai on the mattress.

The youngest nodded hesitantly and watched Soobin re-enter the bathroom. Soobin crouched down to the floor and carefully slid the paper under the cup. Then he slowly picked it up, keeping the spider trapped inside and made his way to the door. Yeonjun skidded past him and ran up to Kai, nearly tackling him in a hug.

"How dare that stupid spider scare my baby Kai like that! I'll beat him up! Don't worry, I won't let him get you." Yeonjun said dramatically, wrapping Huening Kai up in a blanket like a sushi roll.

Kai used the blanket to wipe away the snot and tears covering his face and whimpered against Yeonjun. He felt two strong arms adjust him, so he was on Yeonjun's lap facing him comfortably. The eldests shoulder was a safe place to cry on.

"Hate em. This is our house not theirs!" He pouted.

"I know. They scare you quite a bit, yet you insist that we don't just kill them." Yeonjun replied, holding back a chuckle at how cute Kai was.

"Mh- But they dunno! Don't wanna em to hurt. It's not fair."

"Each day I am more convinced that you are secretly an angel, huening kai." Yeonjun smiled brightly and kissed his baby's head.

"Mission accomplished! Extermination complete." Soobin popped up in the door with a proud smile.

"How's he doing?" He asked, quiet enough for just Yeonjun to hear.

"We're getting there, expressing our hatred for spiders, questioning our morality. He'll be okay in a few." Yeonjun chuckled, rubbing Kai's back comfortingly.

Soobin nodded and moved into the room to take a seat next to them on the bed. Kai curiously lifted his head and looked at Soobin. Although glossy, his eyes were warm with innocence, like hot chocolate. He sniffled his last sniffle and wiggled to get off Yeonjun. They watched him stand up nervously, inspecting the floor and scanning the walls and ceiling with his eyes. He didn't move much, just the occasional random step.

"What're you doing, angel?" Soobin asked.

"Jus' making sure." Huening kai almost whispered. "I wanna go to bed but had to check for spiders"

"Ohh, okay. I don't see anything and if I do I'll take it outside immediately. Come lay down." Yeonjun said, hoping his words would soothe the little's worries.

"We can have a sleepover tonight." He added. Kai giggled and crawled back on Yeonjun's bed, nestling himself into the blankets and pillows.

"I'll go get Goguma, hang tight." Yeonjun said before getting up and leaving.

Kai pulled on Soobin's arm to get him to lay down and cuddled up to his side like a little kitten. He loved the warmth that came with close cuddles. Soobin pat his hair and used his phone to play the little ones lullaby playlist. The familiarity and somewhat nostalgic melodie's always soothed the boys and helped them sleep. Yeonjun returned with Kai's beloved bunny plush and made the toy give him kisses before laying down. He left on a small lamp, so it wasn't too dark, and let Kai get comfortable between him and Soobin.

"Promise no more buggies..." Kai asked softly with round eyes.

"Promise! We'll protect you, baby."

They both hooked their pinkies on each of Kai's and give them a kiss to seal the promise. Finally, the boy was able to fully relax and drift off to sleep.

[spenglercore]

Headcanons and AUs

Here is a list of ideas people can ask me about, nsfw stuff under the cut! I'll add links for each one I address over time.

General Egon headcanons:

He was a complete and utter chaos gremlin as a kid

He fell off the roof once when he was ten

That one time he actually bit a guy in college

He learned to drift on a bet

The MIT campus legend about a student that lived in a maintenance closet is not a legend

Ray has video of him post-wisdom teeth extraction, and it's hilarious

Man can COOK

Canon-divergent; these are based on the fic I'm currently writing, after which he stays to raise Callie instead of leaving for Oklahoma:

Callie was practically glued to him as a baby, although Grandpa* is an acceptable substitute

His car is a two-ton dad joke

He definitely terrorizes his daughter once in awhile

And his grandkids

How he ended up with a Twitch channel

He is also on TikTok

How he handles Trevor and Phoebe's dad leaving

Callie asks him to teach Trevor to drive, did not expect him to teach Trevor to drift the Ecto

Rocket Car Isotope:

His mother, Ilse Spengler, is German and his father, Piotr Kowalski, is Polish and both are ethnically Jewish. Both are different flavors of Nerd

How they met and became friends and later fell for each other

Ilse's dad Johann trolls Piotr twice in a row

Piotr asked Ilse out completely by accident

How they got to the US and how things went once they settled down

Piotr cannot hold his liquor to save his life.

Piotr learned his son was a very grabby baby The Hard Way

How Piotr got the nickname Four-Stroke

That time Ilse blew up the patio

The Big Damn Hero incident that almost got Piotr murdered by his wife

The time Piotr tackled Egon to the floor so he couldn't rat to Ilse that Dad's up and about on his bad leg despite being told to Not Fucking Do That

That other time Ilse had to get the hose out on her two idiots who were trying to out-stubborn each other

That other time Egon got gibslapped for telling his mom what happened the ONE time Piotr figured the odds were in his favor to drag race some chud at a stoplight

*Piotr learns his granddaughter inherited her father's grabbyness The Hard Way

The Alkali Metals Isotope:

Egon has five younger siblings and they're all various flavors of highly intelligent, devious little gremlins

Johann could be his twin, goes by Joe which comes back to bite him later in life

Wilhelmina, goes by Wil or Willie, is one of three of them that is almost always at the root of any major household chaos

Iosif is a copy-paste of his mother and also gets dragged into the nickname shenanigans with his older brother Johann

Marie is a copy-paste of her dad. Shit-starter and one of three of them that is almost always at the root of any major household chaos

Pierre is the last one who is almost always at the root of any major household chaos, but always manages to escape getting in trouble for it because everyone else is old enough to know better and he capitalizes on that.

NSFW headcanons below the cut; cw for both the sexy kind and the Substance Use kind

Egon did drugs For Science in college; he learned many things about himself and there were two or three Incidents(tm)

Still makes the best weed brownies though

How he discovered his kinks and what parts of his psyche and personality they tap into

Specifc to the Carbon Dating college AU:

Why everyone thinks that weird maintenance closet on the fourth floor of Bemis house at MIT was the scene of a murder

The alternate version of the wisdom teeth video

Specific to the Rocket Car isotope:

That time Piotr pulled a job to restore an antique steam-powered sex toy and it nearly broke him

[myrmyrtheorca]

BUDDY NEW CHAPTER HAS BROUGHT NEW QUESTIONS!

At least I think they are new... I might have asked them already, I'm sorry I'm showing symptoms of goldfishbrain again *melts into puddle* I'm just gonna chunk them at your head anyways:

Does Myr have PTSD? Obviously she has trauma but in Chapter 3 she has a panick attack? disassociates? I'm not sure what fits here but cleary the dying will flame triggered her. Which brings me to my next question does she have triggers? If so what would trigger her? (If this is spoiler no biggie just ignore me).

Well that's it from me for now.

Buddy out~

Finally tackling all your chapter-related questions friend! I decided to collect them under a new tag called #Killer Whale Files which I guess will include any in-depth explanations I post as a result of a question (minus ask games unless the answer has some kind of plot relevance).

As always, thank you for passing by and showing interest in my story (●ˇ∀ˇ●)💙

Killer Whale Files: [Myr]

Disclaimer: this bit is in no way trying to downplay or romanticize PTSD. My level of knowledge is superficial and I apologize in advance in case incorrect information is presented.

After researching a bit on PTSD so I could tackle this question better, my answer is: sort of.

Hers is definitely a traumatic response, which from what I've seen can manifest through symptoms and condition caused by PTSD, namely nightmares, numbing, avoidance of anything related to the traumatic experience and panic attacks. As you could see in chapter 3, Myr reacts to Tsuna's Dying Will Flame with extreme distress: her trauma seems to be related to fire.

I say "seems" because... she doesn't remember the traumatic event that triggers such reaction. She has nightmares about a specific scene, which I will quote from the draft of a future chapter:

Fire. Fire everywhere. A recurrent dream. She had been there many times before, but the terror was impossible to get used to. Crazed, towering flames like those from hell covered the wooden walls like a veil of chaos. A painting on the wall fell, the frame shattered on impact as the canvas inside it blackened and curled in on itself, the figure it housed lost forever. As always, Myr was in the middle of the room, on her knees. The heat was unbearable, her knees burned too much to keep them resting on the floor for long and she was thus forced to lift them in shifts, panicking. Her hands clasped her head, blocking her ears, so as not to hear the roar of the fire raging around her. As always, Myr screamed, called for help, cried hysterically in the hope that someone might hear her… but no one ever came. The roar of the flames was immense, deafening, as if everything around her was whirling in gale-force winds. I must escape. I'm dying. I need to run. I'm burning. Dad, help me! This isn't my fault, I didn't do this!

The nightmare repeats itself each time she experiences it in the same way, unchanged to its little details. It is carved in her mind, she knows it's "the fire room" but does not ever remember such a room existing in the City of Dite base, nor does she recall ever setting foot in a similar room. Each time she's put close to a flame, she does not experience a flashback but only the immediate fight or flight respose. She only sees the room in her nightmares.

Did she remove this traumatic event in some sort of dissociative amnesia way? There are no records of such a disastrous event happening in the City of Dite base. This made her come to the conclusion that the event has somehow never happened, even though the scene is vivid in her mind and she feels "like she was actually there". I will say that hers is not the only case of pyrophobia ever descripted in the Cavalieri's medical records, though hers seems to be a unique condition.

Other than fire, she does not posses any other triggers.

[halogenwarrior]

So I’ve seen the Cardinal West xenofiction review video, and how one of the ones he rated very lowly with a lot of people in the comments/etc. agreeing is bad was the Sight by David Clement-Davies, and as someone who was quite attached to it as a teenager I kind of have a relationship with this book of “I have a lot I can criticize it for but Only I can criticize it, because the takes I’m seeing on this site and the video comments don’t seem to understand what it was really Going For in a thematic sense (despite it being not very subtle, perhaps to its detriment, about it), and because of that both criticize aspects that I felt were unique and great and serve the story well and miss its most fundamental and serious flaw that makes it fail to fully accomplish what it is going for.

I feel I can best explain what the book is going for/what its central theme is, by bringing up something I remember reading from Joseph Campbell. He discussed how all existing myths have always been myths for/explaining/about a certain region of the world, and how what is missing is a myth that is for and about the whole planet, that can speak to all of humanity – and to the experience of the nonhuman life all around us. The Sight is fundamentally about tackling this question – can one (both in the meta-sense of the book itself and in the sense that characters in the book actively strive for it) make a myth for the whole earth, that can justify all of the senselessness and suffering of life and give it meaning in more than just a parochial, region-centric or even anthropocentric case? And should we? Even if we could, would it just be a trap that causes more suffering, a self-fulfilling prophecy of doom, when life on its own is beautifully, heartbreakingly enough (but how could life ever be enough? Ecology, after all, only describes a system that creates astronomical amounts of suffering, it does not “justify” or create “meaning” for anything except survival and the circular logic of self-perpetuation, but as Skart points out it’s not all suffering all the time, one shouldn’t be so quick to reject the bare facts of life altogether and look for something more just because some parts are horrifying).

A lot of the aspects I’ve seen the book criticized for were things I actually really appreciated for how they contribute to this overall theme and “vibe”, and contributed to it blowing me away when I read it for the first time at 14 years old, and it honestly affecting a lot of my personality and worldview. The detached writing style I’ve seen criticized as sloppy, but for me it was a perfect match for how it’s supposed to be both about, and telling, a myth; it had the feeling of sitting by a fire on a cold winter night as you were told a story. The tangents about human history never felt meaningless to me, they were thrilling because they underscored how it’s not just a story of a few characters but a story of this earth, attempting to create the sweeping wonder for our own world that many fantasy books do for an imagined one, to make one love the sheer motion, deep history and amount of things happening in the vast world, to love the world with all its terror and tragedy and beauty. And it's definitely missing a lot of what is going on to say the obvious Christianity parallels in the wolves’ myths are just there because the author was unoriginal or wanted to make his protagonist a cliched messiah figure. Even though the story shows in very blatant text that Larka isn’t an unironic Jesus figure but someone whose frustration with life and self-hatred leads her to latch onto the story of a martyrdom that gives meaning to everything. She undertakes the hero’s journey complete with death and rebirth in the fire, the journey to the underworld (the red meadow), etc., and in the end after a whole book of very regional, wolf-specific myths she gets to see that was false and experience the vaster, global, truth that we know of the world through the Vision – of evolution, and humanity’s ultimate impact on the whole world. But again, this just explains survival, it doesn’t justify the monstrous suffering that comes with it, it doesn’t have the true explaining power of a myth. So she refuses to kill all of humanity when she has the chance even if it would endanger that very survival because she believes survival without an explanation is unjustified. And in the end she is so attached to the martyr Jesus-copy story and its potential power to relieve the senselessness of life that she hesitates those crucial seconds to escape her supposed fate, deciding she wants to live after all too late even though she loves life and fears death so much that it hurts.

And I think all of these are interesting and ambitious themes, and the sheer ability to encompass and tell a story for our own world and all that meant captivated me. As well as, having just come off my frustrations of the Warriors arc Power of Three and Omen of the Stars and their inability to resolve the exciting supernatural mysteries they set up, its ability to set up these mysteries and fulfill them all in an epic conclusion. Rereading it the second time when I am older, I still appreciate that ambition and atmosphere, but I see its flaws more clearly – and the one fatal flaw in particular. Yes, there are other big problems with the book, which other people have pointed out. The sometimes-incoherence of its philosophy, the weird showing of bigotry towards scavenger birds only for them to never be anything but villains anyway, the weakness of the main villain’s motivations and the whole misogynistic trope of her being “empty” due to being infertile. But the one that deeply hampers its ability to convey the themes it intends is haphazard mixing of metaphor and reality in terms of animals. On the one hand, the book wants its animals to be metaphors for humans, thus them being heavily anthropomorphized and often inaccurate to their real behavior, and their mythology/religion heavily resembling those of Christianity and other human beliefs rather than being plausible for what another species with no contact with those ideas would come up with, all to serve as a better metaphor for how so much of humanity has turned to the power of the story of Jesus to justify existence. BUT at the same time, it’s fundamental conceit is to be a story of and about this Earth, dealing with animals and their place in the world and trying to fit them into a greater mythology as they literally are, as animals, and the whole reason it is xenofiction instead of focusing on humans is that it’s in this conversation with a global, non-anthropocentric myth. And those two things clash horribly. You can use animals as metaphors for humans in an alternate earth or fantasy world that’s talking about reality in a more distant mirror kind of way, but you can’t make your animals so humanized and distant from real animals when the central conceit of your story is supposed to be that this is our planet, our history, directly making a statement about what stories mean for this world and how you fit in these animals who are so fundamentally different from us humans.

Still, I would love to see someone try their hands at writing a sort of spiritual successor to this book that fixes its issues, attempting to tackle these themes (perhaps from both the point of view of humans and other animals) in a grand fantasy/mythic xenofiction that also clearly sees animals for what they are. I would think such a work could be powerful, and maybe reproduce the same feelings I had when I read this book so long ago…

[communist-ojou-sama]

Okay, done. Let me get my thoughts in order here. This is about Otherside Picnic volume 8 by the way so like. Viewer beware I guess.

I'd been struggling, seeing all the lovely analysis by others, to get a hold on what I felt was going on thematically with this novel having not touched it directly since January, and having devoured it perhaps too quickly back then. So, where to start? Freud, I guess. It's no secret that Miyazawa is very interested in academic research in general, given our setting and the lengthy scenes of Sorawo's seminars to which we're treated, not to mention Kozakura's mention of the similarity of interacting with the Otherside to having various psychiatric ailments, so, let's take a step back. What does it mean, anyway, to engage with the Otherside, on a thematic level? I think there is a very strong case, perhaps made elsewhere, that it has to do with engaging with the id, the most fundamental part of our psyche over which we have the least control. honestly, given how the novel ends, this is maybe just text and not subtext at this point.

It has long been clear that Miyazawa is deeply interested in the intersection of trauma and desire, but in the first file we can see he's handing us a map. First, we have our scene between Sorawo and Toriko that establishes the frame narrative for the rest of the novel, Sorawo has to tell Toriko how she feels about her, there's no longer any avoiding it.

The problem is, Sorawo has always been drawn by the Otherside, the irrational and unknowable base of emotion, which defies the construct of language and consensus reality itself, for her, being asked to take that roiling torrent of id and make it into something socially legible is, well, deeply boring. (I strongly agree personally)

And so we have a number of what are basically Socratic discourses on the nature of desire, and how that desire is constructed by society (Benimori) and how our fundamental urges are related to reality (Tsuji). I'll have to chew over what Tsuji herself represents in the narrative, but that's my read for now.

The reason why whatever it is on the other side of the Otherside (lol, also not going to speculate about what that is here) uses terror to connect to humans is because terror is one of our most primordial emotions, one of the ones closest to the id. To interact with the Otherside is to confront one's own id directly.

Sorawo, who had an abusive childhood in which a very specific kind of society, a cult, attempted to destroy who she was and fully deny her id, clings on to it even as it confuses her, and this intense conflict between her id, ego, and super-ego gives birth to her doppelgänger, which is the manifestations of the more complex desires of the ego and id that her superego is unprepared to confront.

Toriko, who is the product of a loving marriage between two lesbians, and as we learn has a longstanding relationship with lesbian erotica, is able to bear the weight of confronting her own id because she has had the role models in her life to teach her that desire is not something to be feared.

Kozakura, is paralyzed by fear at her own id, and holes herself into her home, shuts herself off from the world, to avoid the risk of confronting it, though with sorawo at her side, when forced into the situation, she's at least able to trudge her way through a bit (just saying, put a pin in it)

our first explication with Benimori tackles this issue of desire head-on, talking about how the raw desire of human beings is a deeply complex thing that we force into molds to make the world easier to comprehend for ourselves, but reassures Sorawo that she need not subject herself to that if she doesn't want to (I love benimori so much she's an angel)

Tsuji of course then talks to Sorawo about the notion of consensus reality, about how in our everyday lives we subscribe to a reality that is communally audited and maintained, but that via the Otherside, another kind of agreed reality can be constructed. I have a Lot of thoughts on this conversation but my one sentence aside is that I think that Tsuji's character and her staring contest with Sorawo lead into some more specific themes that have to do with the "desire and the eye", of Sorawo-as-voyeurist, of reader-as-voyeurist, and the mediation of desire through objects (including the objectification of human beings) but, like I said, I need more time to chew on that idea, and reread the conversation before I expound on that more. Watch this space!

[rahleeyah]

Now that we know know that Noah knows he's adopted, and we never saw the reveal, would you ever consider writing that scene? I know you did a ff about Noah finding out when he's much older, but what is your take on it now? Do you think Liv sat him down and told him? Or did Sheila tell him? Or did it happen more naturally after the Sheila debacle? I suppose it would explain his terror era.

I don't know that I would write a fic about it necessarily bc it seems to me that most likely what happened was one initial conversation, yeah probably post-Sheila, and then many, many moments through the years, bc this isn't a one and done kind of convo, especially if she first told him when he was very small. And I do think it's possible she had discussed the fact that he's adopted with him in age-appropriate ways prior to Sheila, we just know she hadn't specifically told him about Ellie. And it's harder to write a child that small processing that information; Liv's journey thru it is I think pretty clear but how a 4-5 year old would react is murkier to me, and bc I don't have a clear handle on it but would want to write it with respect that's not something I'm ready to tackle.

[counteringhatespeechday]

UNFPA is part of a global movement to address gendered hate speech online.

Hate speech is in full attack mode, amplified by new technologies that spread divisive rhetoric across the globe. We all have seen the harm it does, sparking violence, exclusion, discrimination, inequality.

In response to growing xenophobia, racism, intolerance, misogyny, anti-semitism and anti-Muslim hatred, United Nations Secretary-General António Guterres launched the UN Strategy and Plan of Action on Hate Speech in June 2019, defining hate speech as “any kind of communication in speech, writing or behaviour that attacks or uses pejorative or discriminatory language with reference to a person or a group on the basis of who they are – in other words, based on their religion, ethnicity, nationality, race, color, descent, gender or other identity factor.”

The action plan aims to enhance UN efforts to address root causes and drivers of hate speech and to enable effective responses to the impact of hate speech on societies, while implementing strategies in line with the right to freedom and expression.

Hate speech poisons minds. It is among the most virulent forms of misinformation, feeding on and fueling social polarization, driving us farther apart. Used for control and oppression, it can lead in the worst cases to mass murder and genocide. Misogynistic hate speech especially is proliferating, with technology providing cheap and easy means to spread hate speech far and wide. Online platforms provide few safeguards to stop it.

Online hate speech in particular might seem impossible to stop, but governments, civil society and individuals are taking action, including tapping the power of education, to fight back. Tackling the issue from an educational perspective involves strengthening educational policies and initiatives with specific measures to address and counter hate speech, helping people develop critical thinking and become active citizens who support peace and human rights.

We can all make online platforms safer. Technology companies must take all necessary steps to stop hate speech, including adopting safety features to limit misinformation and online violence and protect personal data. Safety improves when tech companies deliberately manage gender-specific threats and include women and girls in the design and development of technology. Governments and industry associations should set and enforce regulations to make technology safer. Individuals can stop the hate in their own online practices and call on others to do the same.

UNFPA is part of a global movement to address gendered hate speech online. It co-convenes the Advisory Group to the Global Partnership for Action on Gender-Based Online Harassment and Abuse, and issued the UNFPA Guidance on Safe and Ethical Technology for Gender-Based Violence and Harmful Practices.

For a deeply personal perspective, the UNFPA campaign The Virtual is Real focuses on digital violence – which includes online hate speech that serves to terrorize, dehumanize and silence – and features women who fought back.

Hate speech must not – and will not – win. But we all need to become involved, getting educated and speaking out firmly to counter this growing global scourge. “Hate is hate. We can’t excuse it. We can’t ignore it,” UNFPA Executive Director Dr. Natalia Kanem says in this powerful video. “Hate is actions. Hate is words. Hate is words that become actions.” Say #NoToHate.

International Day for countering Hate Speech 2023, june 18th.

[bruuluuu]

Parent resources on bullying the place to find them Ladies and gentlemen, moms and dads, step right up! Welcome to the wacky world of parenting where you'll find all sorts of wild creatures – from adorable little angels to mischievous monsters. But fear not, dear reader! Today we're here to tackle one particularly pesky problem: bullying. Now don't go running for the hills just yet; we've got a secret weapon in our arsenal that's sure to leave those bullies shaking in their boots (or at least chuckling uncontrollably). That's right – humor! In this fantastic funhouse of an article, we'll be exploring how laughter can help transform your child from a helpless victim into a comical comeback kid. Join us as we dive headfirst into bully-proofing techniques that are guaranteed to have both you and your kiddos giggling through even the toughest situations. Table of contents: Parent resources on bullying Bully-Proofing Your Child: A Parent's Guide to Chuckling Through the Chaos From Victim to Victor: Turning the Tables on Bullies with a Smile Laugh It Off: Teaching Kids How to Defuse Bullying Situations with Humor The Comical Comeback Kid: Empowering Children Against Bullies One Joke at a Time Giggle Away the Grumps: Using Laughter as an Anti-Bullying Superpower Ah, parenting – the most rewarding and challenging job on the planet. One day you're teaching your little angel how to tie their shoes, and the next thing you know, they come home from school with a black eye because some pint-sized tyrant decided it was "National Punch-A-Fellow-Student Day." Bullying is no laughing matter (unless we're talking about that one time when Timmy tried to steal Susie's lunch money but ended up tripping over his shoelaces – classic!). But fear not! We've got your back with some top-notch parent resources to help tackle bullying like a pro. First things first: let's talk about those pesky bullies. You know who I'm talking about – those kids who think they rule the playground just because their dad drives a fancier minivan than yours. Well, guess what? There are actually websites out there dedicated entirely to helping parents understand these tiny terrors better! For example, StopBullying.gov offers an in-depth look at what causes kids to become bullies in the first place (spoiler alert: it usually has something to do with them feeling powerless or insecure). This site also provides tips for recognizing signs of bullying and strategies for addressing it head-on. Another great resource is Pacer.org/bullying/, which focuses specifically on preventing bullying among children with disabilities. They offer practical advice for creating inclusive environments where all kids can feel safe and supported. Now that we've covered bully basics let's move on to supporting our own kiddos during these tough times (because sometimes even superheroes need a little TLC). When dealing with any kind of emotional upheaval in our children’s lives - be it heartbreak over losing their favorite toy or distress caused by being bullied - communication is key! So go ahead; break out those detective skills honed from years of tracking down lost socks under beds and start asking questions like "How was your day?" or "Did anything interesting happen at school today?. The more open and honest the conversation, the better equipped you'll be to offer guidance and support. And speaking of support, don't forget about the power of a good ol' fashioned hug! Sometimes all it takes is a warm embrace to remind our little ones that they're not alone in this big scary world. If you feel like your child could benefit from some extra help navigating these choppy waters, consider reaching out to organizations like Stomp Out Bullying (stompoutbullying.org) or The Trevor Project (thetrevorproject.org), both of which offer resources specifically designed for kids who are struggling with bullying-related issues. So there you have it – a quick rundown on how to tackle bullying armed with nothing but humor and an internet connection. While we can't promise that these resources will transform every bully into a model citizen overnight (though wouldn't that be nice?), we do believe they'll provide parents with valuable tools for supporting their children through challenging times. After all, as any seasoned parent knows: when life gives you lemons… make lemonade! Or better yet: teach your kid how to make lemonade so they can start their own stand and show those bullies who's boss once and for all! Bully-Proofing Your Child: A Parent's Guide to Chuckling Through the Chaos [caption id="attachment_1979" align="aligncenter" width="1024"] Parent resources on bullying Need help navigating the challenging world of bullying? Find resources for parents to understand and manage this difficult issue.[/caption] As parents, we all want to make sure our children are safe and happy. But when it comes to bullying, it can be hard to know where to start. That’s why I’ve put together this guide on how you can “bully-proof” your child! First off, let me just say that there is no one-size-fits-all solution for preventing bullying in kids. Every situation is different and requires a unique approach. However, there are some steps you can take that will help your child feel more secure and confident in their own skin - which will go a long way towards keeping them safe from bullies! One of the most important things you can do as a parent is talk openly with your kid about bullying - what it looks like, how they should respond if they ever encounter it themselves or see someone else being bullied. Make sure they understand that no matter what anyone says or does to them (or others), they have the right not only stand up for themselves but also speak out against any kind of mistreatment or abuse directed at other people too! It's also important for parents to create an environment where their kids feel comfortable coming forward if something does happen - whether its physical violence or verbal harassment. Let them know that you're always available if they need someone who understands and supports them unconditionally; this will give them the confidence needed when dealing with difficult situations involving bullies down the line! Finally, don't forget: laughter really IS the best medicine here! So try not take things too seriously by encouraging lightheartedness whenever possible; after all, sometimes chuckling through chaos makes life so much easier (and more fun! From Victim to Victor: Turning the Tables on Bullies with a Smile [caption id="attachment_1980" align="aligncenter" width="1024"] Learn valuable resources and strategies to help your child if they are experiencing bullying. Get the tools you need to support them in this challenging situation. Parent resources on bullying[/caption] It's no secret that bullying can be a serious problem for kids, but it doesn't have to be. With the right tools and strategies, your child can turn the tables on bullies with a smile! That's right - you heard us correctly. We're talking about taking an "eye-for-an-eye" approach to dealing with bullies by using humor and wit to disarm them. Sure, it may sound like a tall order at first glance, but we promise that if your child is willing to put in some effort they can become the victor instead of the victim! So how do you get started? Well first off, make sure your kid has all of their facts straight before engaging in any sort of confrontation or dialogue with their bully. This means doing research into what kind of person they are dealing with so that they know exactly how best to respond when faced with taunting or teasing from them. Additionally, encourage your child not only to stand up for themselves but also others who may be getting picked on as well; this will show strength and courage which could potentially help deescalate any situation quickly and effectively without resorting violence or aggression as solutions (which should always remain off limits). Finally ––and most importantly–– remind your kiddo that no matter what happens during these interactions: keep smiling! A little bit of humor goes a long way when it comes turning victims into victors against bullies ––so don’t forget those pearly whites! Laugh It Off: Teaching Kids How to Defuse Bullying Situations with Humor [caption id="attachment_1981" align="aligncenter" width="1024"] Find resources, tips and advice on how to support your child if they are being bullied or are a bully themselves. Learn the best ways to address bullying from experts and fellow parents. Parent resources on bullying[/caption] Bullying is a serious issue, but sometimes the best way to deal with it is to laugh it off. Teaching kids how to defuse bullying situations with humor can be an effective tool in their arsenal of strategies for dealing with bullies. Humor can help kids take control of the situation and show that they are not intimidated by the bully’s words or actions. It also helps them stay calm and focused on diffusing rather than escalating the conflict. Plus, laughter has been known to reduce stress levels and improve moods! When teaching your child how to use humor as a defense against bullying, make sure you emphasize that jokes should never be used as an insult or put-down towards another person—it's important for them to understand that using humor responsibly will help keep everyone safe from harm. Also remind them that if someone doesn't find something funny, they shouldn't push it; instead they should just move on without making any further comments about it. Finally, encourage your child not only when they successfully diffuse a situation through laughter but also when they stand up for themselves in other ways (e.g., walking away from a confrontation). This will reinforce positive behavior while helping build their self-confidence so that next time around, laughing off bullying may come more naturally! The Comical Comeback Kid: Empowering Children Against Bullies One Joke at a Time [caption id="attachment_1982" align="aligncenter" width="1024"] Parent resources on bullying Check out our resources to help parents navigate the complexities of bullying. Get advice, tips, and strategies to support your child in a safe and healthy environment.[/caption] Have you ever heard of the Comical Comeback Kid? He's a superhero for kids who are being bullied. His mission is to empower children against bullies one joke at a time! The Comical Comeback Kid teaches kids how to use humor as an effective tool in their fight against bullying. He helps them come up with clever and witty responses that can disarm even the most aggressive bully. With his help, they learn how to take control of any situation without resorting to violence or aggression. But it's not just about teaching jokes; The Comical Comeback Kid also provides resources for parents on how best to support their children when they're facing bullying situations. From tips on talking openly about bullying, providing emotional support, and helping your child develop self-confidence - he covers it all! So if your child is struggling with bullies at school or online, don't worry - The Comical Comeback Kid has got you covered! With his help, your kid will be able to stand up for themselves in no time - all while having some fun along the way! Giggle Away the Grumps: Using Laughter as an Anti-Bullying Superpower [caption id="attachment_1984" align="aligncenter" width="1024"] Are you a parent looking for resources to help your child with bullying? Find helpful information, tips and strategies here to ensure they stay safe. Parent resources on bullying[/caption] We all know that laughter is the best medicine, but did you know it can also be a powerful anti-bullying superpower? That's right! Giggling away the grumps can help kids stand up to bullies and feel more confident in themselves. It may sound silly at first, but research has shown that laughter releases endorphins which boost mood and reduce stress. So when your child comes home feeling down after an encounter with a bully, try encouraging them to laugh it off! A few minutes of giggles could make all the difference in their attitude towards bullying. Laughter is also contagious – so if your child finds something funny they’re likely to share it with their friends or classmates (which could even lead to some friendly teasing instead of bullying). Plus, laughing together helps build strong relationships between peers which makes everyone feel safer and more secure against any potential bullies out there. So don't forget: giggle away those grumps! Laughter really is an amazing anti-bullying superpower that every kid should have in their toolkit for dealing with difficult situations like bullying. https://www.stopbullying.gov/ - This is the official U.S. government website dedicated to stopping bullying. It provides a wealth of information and resources for parents, educators, and communities. https://www.parents.com/kids/problems/bullying/ - This link takes you to a page on the Parents.com website, which offers practical advice and tips for parents on how to recognize, prevent, and address bullying. https://www.netsmartz.org/Parents - This is a resource from the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children that offers a range of tools and information to help parents keep their kids safe online and offline, including how to deal with bullying.

[faebriel]

WAIT THIS IS CRAZY....... i was not expecting this option to win at all. for posterity i'm putting brief summaries of what these wip ideas actually are under the cut because at some point being vague became a game

superniki: ok kind of glad this didn't win because i kind of see this au as an interconnected series of oneshots and that is kind of a lot for me to tackle rn lawl. but i think i would start with the one that's like #early days when superheroing is fun and niki gets to stick it to the man in a way that feels safe and she gets to impress all of her friends while keeping it her little secret at the same time. but some of niki's friends are struggling in their everyday civilian lives, and it would be a shame if something happened to them, wouldn't it? and we've heard the blood god is in town. (i did also have some extremely funny snippets about niki's descent into violence and once-best friends using the same stupid hiding spot despite being on opposite sides of the super-divide. but like. context)

pogtopia october seventeenth: ok basically what it says on the tin but niki + every singular member of pogtopia (as of oct 17) post the red festival. it's canon compliant missing scenes. draft title is after agnes glass animals. it's fun

rousseau's man: just go read act 1 tbh. anyway niki's world is rocked by burgeoning alcoholism, dark dark secrets, and the HOA

near character study: the two scenes i have somewhat written of this is shameless L + baby wammy kids shenanigans and near weirding mello out with being almost too baldfacedly into him. there's supposed to be more but do we really need more

horrible m/f friendship: HOW DID THIS OPTION WIN. anyway can i introduce you to my darlings sydney burke and alex sarkov. what if the mentor character and the eeeevil scientist character had a Dark And Intimate Past guys. oh. oh you were expecting them to have dated? naw that is a girl trying to fix the world and her gay little friend who will accidentally on purpose burn it down to fix it for her specifically. anyway let's explore

horrible m/f not friendship: so my partner found out i hadn't watched atla and insisted that we sit down and do that. everyone was right that slapped. anyway we explore katara's trauma and trust issues in that pre southern raiders air temple time period cos man who even let zuko in here anyway

local baptist teen: this is my #vision for a post-canon nerdy prudes must die fic. grace gets bad choices bloody hands night terrors and also some bonding moments with steph which means something but not enough in the end

take me back/what do you want: this is literally just more npmd it's lautski fluff ok what do you want from me

now that my puffychu opus is done idk what to spend my time on. the golden doors have opened and brother, they open for thee

[peachbear88]

The Greatest Love Story

A/N: Inspired by this lovely image I saw. I'm making this into a high school angst AU that takes place in like the 1900's. For the record, I know Steve isn't a bad person but this is an AU and I need one of those... You know, guys for this story so.... Yeah! Sorry! BTW, the second poem is not written by me, it's written by Elizabeth Barrett Browning and I stole some quotes from Shakespeare.

Warnings: Angst, homophobia, swearing, character death.

Word Count: 3.2k

Pairing: Yelena Belova x Reader

----------

You scale the ancient wooden stairs of your small school. avoiding eye contact with anyone. The stares you receive from others are painfully obvious as you speed walk towards the library, seeking shelter from the judgmental glances from your peers.

"Hello dear," the kind librarian greets you as you walk past her towards your corner of the library.

You don't respond, quickly ducking behind the massive shelves, hoping to spend as much time as possible in your safe space before the classes start. Placing back your old books, you scan the shelves, until a particular title catches your eye.

"Love Poems by Women?" You murmur, flipping through the worn pages.

----------

A giant dusty book lands on the librarian's desk, making her look up.

"May I take this out?" You ask, your tone emotionless, cold yet tentative. The librarian smiles gently at you handing you back the book.

"Of course dear. Happy reading." You give her a small, thankful smile before dashing out of the library door. The halls are partially empty, save for the kids that skip class, hanging around in the hallways and dark alleys after school.

You duck your head, avoiding eye contact as you pass the group leaning against the lockers, most importantly, the hazel eyed beauty that could snap your neck in half, Yelena Belova.

"Hey!" Your head snaps up. Big mistake. You lock eyes with the famed blonde and you drop your head immediately, a faint blush creeping up your cheeks.

"Y-Yes?"

"Look at me when I'm talking to you." She snaps. You peek at her from the corner of your eye, her sleek dress pants catching your eye.

"Interesting outfit choice," you note before you can stop yourself.

"What did you say?" She demands and you gulp, backing away.

"N-nothing." She slowly steps towards you, backing you into the lockers.

"Get to class. And don't ever let me see you again идиот (idiot)." You hurry down the hall towards your classroom, tripping in the process as you repeatedly look over your shoulder, watching as Yelena turns back to her friend group.

---------

"She was cute," Natasha points out as Yelena reclaims her spot leaning against the lockers. "Why do you feel the need to tease her so relentlessly?" Yelena rolls her eyes, grabbing the flask of vodka back from her sister.

"She's annoying. I don't like her." Natasha smirks.

"Sure. Whatever you say."

---------

You let out a sigh of relief when the bell rings.

Your classmates flood out of the classroom, jostling each other aside in their rush to get home. You quickly sprint out the door, eager to get home, safe and sound when a hand grabs you by the arm and pulls you into a dark alley behind the school.

"Hello there girly..." A deep voice says. You gulp. The boy steps into the light to reveal Steve Rogers. One of those people that take pride in hurting others, a bully, your tormenter.

"W-what do you want?" He smirks, stepping closer to you.

"Well, a little birdie told me that someone had an encounter with a specific blonde this morning." You flinch when he grabs you by the throat, pinning you to the wall. "You wouldn't happen to be... I don't know, one of those dykes would you?" Your eyes widen and you shake your head vigorously as he laughs. "Oh man," he sputters, choking through his laughter. "Wait till the school gets ahold of this-"

He doesn't get to finish his sentence because a fist connects with his face, sending him reeling backwards.

"What the-" A strong hand wraps around his throat, pushing him backwards till his back connects with the wall.

"Listen to me you маленькое дерьмо (little shit), if you ever even think about coming near her again, I will sneak into your house at night, gut you like the fish you are and paint the school with them." Yelena warns in a surprisingly calm voice. Steve's eyes widen and he nods his head frantically until she lets go.

"Crazy bitch!" He spits, backing away quickly. You shuffle your feet, looking down at the ground as she watches him run.

"T-thank you." You mutter, not daring to look her in the eye. She sighs.

"This better not become a daily thing Y/L/N." You nod feebly. "Get out of here." You quickly pick your bag back up and sprint out of the alley, leaving Yelena by herself,

---------

"I'm home mom!"

"Welcome home sweetie!" Your mom pokes her head out of the living room.

"How's your book going?"

"As great as a woman writing a book can be." She chuckles forcibly. There's an awkward silence before she continues. "Your father came by today." She pauses as you swallow, feeling like something lodged itself in your throat.

"And what did he want?" She frowns at your tone.

"Sweetie, I know you don't like him but he's still your fa-"

"I don't have a dad," you growl, picking up your bag. "My dad died when he chose to abandon us." She watches as you climb up the stairs, sighing and rubbing her temple.

---------

You flop onto your bed, dropping the thick dusty buck onto the bed. You spend the rest of the afternoon reading through the poems until your mom calls you down for dinner.

It's an awkward dinner, quiet, only the sounds of dishes, chewing and utensils filling the room.

"I'm going to bed." You say after washing the dishes, not bothering to wait for a response.

That night, you lay in bed, staring at the ceiling of your room.

"Love poems by women." You mutter, an idea popping into your head. You quickly sit up, flicking on your lamp and pulling out the book and a pen.

----------

"Good morning dear," the librarian greets you like she does every morning.

"I'd like to return this book." You reply coldly, passing her the book once again. She smiles gently at you.

"I hope you enjoyed your reading." She says while passing you, returning the book to its original shelf.

-----------

"Hello hon, can I help you with anything?" The librarian asks the dirty-blonde haired girl.

"No, thank you." The girl sends the librarian a tight lipped smile before returning her attention to the shelves. A ripped leather cover catches her attention. Love Poems by Women. She smiles, pulling the book from the shelf. Flipping open to the title page, a neat cursive catches her eyes.

Love flows between beings Gift from the gods Curse from the demons The missing part of every person Destined to be opposites Love is flexible Yet some seek to objectify love Love is not for the weak willed. - Aristophanes

The blonde haired girl hums, pulling a pen from her jacket's pocket and discreetly writing in the book, right next to the poem.

------------

Terrible.

That's the only way to describe your day. You received your essay back, ecstatic to see that you had received an A. Steve on the other hand had absolutely flunked. Instead of dedicating his time to studying, he decided to beat you up as a way of taking out his frustration.

You ended up limping out of the women's toilet, your leg flaring up whenever you moved, tears threatening to fall from your eyes.

"Hi sweetcheeks," the librarian murmurs, her eyes trailing down your injured leg.

"'Ello." You quickly duck behind the shelves, pulling out the book you were looking for. Your brows scrunch together in confusion as you see a messier scrawl next to your handwriting.

Reality hits hard

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight For the ends of being and ideal grace. I love thee to the level of every day's Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light. I love thee freely, as men strive for right. I love thee purely, as they turn from praise. I love thee with the passion put to use In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith. I love thee with a love I seemed to lose With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath, Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose, I shall but love thee better after death.

- Orpheus

You smile letting a light laugh slip from your lips. A sweet titter revealing the little girl underneath your cold, traumatized exterior.

Quickly, you grab your pen from your pocket and begin scribbling.

-----------

The air is knocked from your body as your back makes contact with the floor.

"Listen here dyke. I don't like you alright," Steve growls into your ear as Tony cracks his knuckles. "So here's what's going to happen: Everyday you're going to meet us here and," he pauses, cracking his neck. "Help us relive some stress." He smiles wickedly before punching you in the stomach, making you double over in pain.

Your eyes flutter shut as they deliver blow after blow 'till they finally stop. You tentatively open your eyes to see Yelena tackling Steve to the ground as Tony stares at them, eyes wide.

"I. Told. You. To. Leave. Her. Alone!" She screams, pummeling Steve with her fists. He groans, unmoving. You watch in terror as Tony picks up a trash can lid, sneaking up behind her as she punches Steve in the face.

"Watch out!" You scream, taking Tony as well yourself by surprise. She looks up to see you slamming into Tony sending him flying into the nearby wall of the alley.

He crumples, unconscious.

"Are you okay?" You mumble, limping towards Yelena, who's clutching a blood gash on her arm.

"'M fine,' she grits out. You shake your head, grabbing her wrist. She flinches but doesn't push you away.

"You're not okay. Let me help you." You plead. She stays silent and you quickly take her silence as a yes, leading her to the front steps of your home. You rummage through your back pack, finding a large wrap of bandages that you kept after your daily beating from Rogers and his friends.

She winces as you wrap her wound swiftly.

"Gentle!" She growls and you stare back at her defiantly.

"Well maybe if you would stop moving, it'd hurt less!" You retort and she shuts up, staring off into the distance. You dab the cut with a small bit of alcohol before wrapping the bandage all around her arm.

"Thank you." She whispers, giving you a small smile. Reaching out, she gently tucks a strand of hair behind your ear as you flinch back. You quickly, shovel the bandages and medicinal alcohol back into your pack, not noticing the hurt look on her face.

"No problem. The least I could do since you saved me." You reply bluntly, swinging the bag over your shoulder and slipping through the door.

"Wait-" She sighs as the door slams shut in front of her.

You exhale, leaning against the door as you try to catch your breath.

-----------

Yelena sighs exasperatedly, tugging at the collar of her dress shirt.

"What's wrong little sis?" Natasha smirks, plopping down next to her.

"I got hurt and Y/N patched me up." Natasha jumps up, eyes wide.

"You stained your new shirt?" She groans shaking Yelena violently. "God I'm going to kill you!" Yelena grabs her sister, stopping her.

"You're missing the point!"

"Oh yeah? And what's that?" Nat challenges, flopping back down on to the couch.

"She patched me up!" Nat's eyes widen.

"Oh. Oh." She inches closer to her sister, nudging her playfully, much to Yelena's dislike. "So are y'all like," she winks at her sister insinuatingly. "A thing?" Yelena scrunches her brows in confusion.

"A thing?" Nat rolls her eyes, sidling closer to her.

"Yes. A thing. An item? Lovers?" She shrugs, missing the way Yelena blushes.

"In her dreams," Yelena snorts, leaning back into the couch.

"If you say so..."

-----------

"Morning pumpkin!" The librarian chirps.

The blonde girl ignores her, breezing past her towards the the shelves at the very back, peeking over her shoulder quickly before pulling an old, leather bound book from the shelf.

She flips the leather cover aside to reveal the title page. Next to her messy, distorted scrawl was a neat, distinctive cursive once again.

Speak low if you speak love

- Aristophanes

She smiles gently, chuckling as she shakes her head.

"Shakespeare of all people," she whispers, her accent thickening. Pulling a forgotten pen from the shelves, she begins writing,

-----------

The highlight of your day became going to the library and reading the little messages scrawled in between the margins of the book by Orpheus. Like:

If music be the food of love, play on

Or

Her passions are made of nothing but the finest part of pure love.

They made you smile on a daily basis, sometimes even eliciting a rare light laugh.

"Good morning sweetpea." The librarian greets you, not expecting a response. To her surprise and yours, you muster a small smile and a wave.

"Hello." You can feel the librarians shocked eyes following you as you round the bookshelf corner to find Steve, eyes wide, mouth open in shock as he stares down at something in his hands.

Your heart plummets. A book with a soft leather cover, yellowed pages. The book of poems.

You lunge for it but he step sides you swiftly, raising the book above his head.

"Speak low if you speak of love huh? I'm not surprised you know Shakespeare, you're such a nerd." He sneers, waving the book above his head.

"I-I don't know what you're talking about." You stutter, backing up. He grabs you by the collar of your shirt, lifting you into the air.

"Don't fuck with me!" He growls, dropping the book and kicking it to the side. "Who's Orpheus?"

"G-Greek hero. Musician." You stutter and he slaps you, hard. You can feel your cheek swelling under his fiery gaze.

"Don't even try me. Who. Is. Orpheus?"

"I don't know, I swear!" You mutter, wincing when you accidentally bite your cheek.

He drops you, watching as you scramble to your feet, backing away.

"This isn't over you little shit. I'll be back for you," he warns, giving your book one last kick for good measure before storming out of the library with Tony and Bucky on his heels.

You fall to your knees, silently sobbing as you crawl over too the book, dusting it off and hugging it to your chest.

Yelena sighs, her heart breaking as she watches you curl around the book protectively, lying on the floor.

-----------

"Where are you going?"

Yelena turns to find Nat, leaning against the school stairwell doorway, watching her.

"Just up to the roof. Need some fresh air," she lies, avoiding Nat's gaze. Nat lifts Yelena's chin up, staring into her eyes, boring into her very soul. Yelena squirms under her gaze until she finally lets go.

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay." She smiles sadly at her little sister. "Just-" Her voice cracks as she pats her sister's shoulder. "Don't do anything stupid."

"Don't worry. I won't." She gives Nat a brief hug before hiking her pants up and starting up the stairs.

-----------

"Ah, well look who decided to join the party!" You look up from the ground to see Yelena, your eyes clouded with pain.

"No..." You croak but Steve pays no attention to you.

"Come to save your love Yelena?" He sneers, dropping you to the ground. "Or should I say... Orpheus?" Your eyes widen as you watch him advance towards her, pushing her closer to the edge of the roof.

"I don't know what you're talking about." She deadpans and Steve chuckles.

"Sure. If you won't admit, I'll just have to settle for destroying you from the inside out instead." He grabs her by the arm. "I haven't forgotten what you did to me." He points at a long thin scar along his jawline.

You watch as Tony sneaks up from behind Yelena, striking her with a metal bar. She crumples, falling to her knees.

"Hold her." Steve directs and Bucky dutifully grabs you by the arms. He holds Yelena's chin in between his thumb and forefinger, forcing her to look at him. "Now you watch as I destroy the one thing you love the most." Tony tosses his the metal bar and Steve prepares himself before swinging it like a baseball bat.

There's a sickening crunch followed by your scream as the bar makes contact with your ribs.

"Stop!" She struggles, her eyes never leaving your broken body as he hits you over and over again. "Please! Leave her alone!"

Steve smiles evilly, locking eyes with her before swinging the bat again. Another scream. Blood trickles down your face from your nose.

"Is that right? Did the famous Yelena Belova just beg me?" He smiles cruelly before pushing you down on your back, his foot on your chest. You scream as he increases the pressure, your broken ribs digging into your lungs.

Yelena screams, kicking Tony's legs out from under him before punching Steve in the jaw. She grabs the iron bar before it hits the ground, clobbering Bucky in the stomach before kicking Steve in the stomach.

"ты сука (you bitch)!" She steps on his face swiftly, taking satisfaction in the groan of pain he emits before turning to you, gently cradling your face.

"Wow... That was pretty badass," you mumble and she laughs, tearing up. You reach out, wiping the tears from her eyes. "Don't cry." She frowns.

"I'm not crying."

"You are too." You smile, wincing in pain. "I didn't know you knew Shakespeare."

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have let this happen." You frown, caressing her face, forcing her to look at you.

"Hey, hey. It's fine. Don't worry. I'll be fine." You attempt to smile reassuringly but it comes out as more of a grimace. "Listen, if I don't make it-"

"Don't say that! You can't leave me!"

"Shush, listen you thickheaded poet. If I don't make it, go back to the book." You instruct her. She frowns but you can her off. "Promise me."

"But-"

"Promise me."

"I promise..."

"Good." You smile at her, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead, your eyesight blurring. "Wait for me okay?" Your eyes flutter shut.

"No! No Y/N! Come back!" She shakes you roughly, sobbing when you don't respond.

----------

Yelena watches as your body is carted off under a white sheet. Nat stands to the side, watching as her sister stares off into the distance, all life drained from her body.

Go back to the book.

She stands, slowly trailing towards the library, her eyes bloodshot, cheeks caked with dry tears.

"Hi dear," the librarian greets her, discreetly wiping her eyes with a handkerchief. "What a shame. She was a lovely girl."

"She really was the best." Yelena agrees quietly, giving the librarian a small, comforting pat on the back before moving to the back of the library where she finds the book, lying on the floor.

Yelena,

I believe that we are the greatest love poem ever written. I love you always,

Y/N

A choked sob escapes her lips as she stares at the page. You knew. You knew the whole time and you didn't even say anything. A pair of soft arms wrap around Yelena's stomach as she lets go of the dam, her cries echoing throughout the library.

"I'm sorry..."

I'm sorry...

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