#and that such a thing comes with the trust and strength of that relationship..

[astrocafecoffee]

Northnode in natal chart ✨

🩵 FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY, ENJOY 🩵

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🩵 MASTERLIST

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🫧 Northnode in 1st H/ Aries

-This placement often indicates that you will have to work through significant personal fears and doubts about your own identity. Early in life, you might feel a strong sense of insecurity or even self-doubt when it comes to expressing yourself. You may find yourself hesitating to take the lead or assert your own opinions because you fear rejection or standing out. Interestingly, people with the North Node in the 1st House often have a strong pull toward blending in or seeking validation from others (perhaps from relationships or groups). So, the struggle here is that even if your soul’s path calls for independence, there can be an intense inner conflict where you feel torn between wanting to please others or simply follow the crowd, and the urge to step into your own light, which can feel scary. The key to this placement is not just “be yourself” in a surface-level way, but rather to understand your true self at a soul level, and be brave enough to fully embody that identity. For many, this process involves a long-term journey of shedding old layers of self-doubt, fears of standing out, and dependency on others approval. This isn’t always an easy or immediate process, but once you start stepping into your own individuality and authority, you’ll begin to feel like you’re finally on the right track.You might also face circumstances in life that push you toward self-assertion, sometimes in challenging ways,like being put in positions where you’re forced to take the lead, make decisions for yourself, or stand alone. While these situations can feel uncomfortable, they are exactly what you need to develop that inner strength and leadership ability. Ultimately, your life’s path isn’t just about becoming independent; it’s about developing a deep sense of personal authority and trust in your own inner wisdom. The transformation here is about owning your individuality and making decisions that reflect who you truly are, even if it means stepping away from relationships or situations that once defined you. Over time, as you embrace this journey, you’ll come to realize that being true to yourself and acting from that place is the most fulfilling way to live.

🫧 Northnode in 2nd H/ Taurus -

- North Node in the 2nd suggests that you might be learning to trust your inner voice and instincts more. You’re meant to trust yourself to make decisions about what’s important to you and what you value. It can take time, but once you start trusting your own choices, life will feel more aligned.you may have a tendency to rely on others for your security (emotionally or financially). With your North Node in the 2nd house, you're being called to become more independent. This might mean learning how to create your own wealth, be self-sufficient emotionally, or even building your own sense of confidence.Sometimes, with a North Node in the 2nd, there's a tug between focusing on material things and feeling guilty about it. You might feel the pull to be "spiritual" or above material concerns. However, the 2nd house teaches that material wealth isn't bad, it’s how you use it and how it connects to your values that matters. You may need to find a balance between material security and your higher goals.You might be drawn toward developing skills or hobbies that have a tangible, practical outcome, like making things with your hands or developing a specific craft. With North Node here, it can feel very fulfilling to build something of value, whether it’s a physical object or something that brings you long-term security.

🫧 Northnode in 3H / Gemini

-With the North Node in the 3rd, you’re being called to move away from abstract thinking and to focus more on practical, grounded communication. It’s about being less "head in the clouds" and more about connecting with the people around you in real, tangible ways.This placement asks you to embrace a mindset of curiosity and adaptability. If you've been too fixed in your ideas or overly rigid in your thinking, the North Node in the 3rd will push you to become more flexible and open-minded. You’ll be drawn toward exploring different perspectives and ways of thinking, often discovering that learning from others can be just as valuable as your own knowledge.3rd house also governs technology and communication tools, like social media, websites, and anything related to connecting ideas over distance. This could be an area where you learn to express yourself in new ways or use technology to enhance your ability to share ideas and connect with others. Another aspect of the North Node in the 3rd house is learning how to be a bridge between different groups of people or ideas. You might find yourself in situations where you need to help others understand each other,whether it's reconciling different viewpoints, simplifying complex concepts, or helping people communicate better.

🫧 Northnode in 4H/ cancer :

-The North Node in the 4th house is asking you to move away from the hustle and bustle of the outer world and turn your attention inward. You're being guided to prioritize your private life, emotional well-being, and family over external achievements or public recognition.One of the deeper lessons of the 4th house North Node is working through family karma or emotional baggage. You might feel called to break free from unhealthy family patterns or healing past wounds that have affected your sense of security. This may involve revisiting your childhood or understanding the way your upbringing shaped your current emotional needs.You might feel a deep need to create a place where you can feel truly at home,this could involve building a physical space that feels like your sanctuary or learning to emotionally anchor yourself. Your home life may be an essential source of fulfillment, and you may find that stability in your home environment helps you thrive.You may feel more comfortable in private settings or have a natural inclination to retreat to your home when you're feeling overwhelmed. This could lead you to find deep emotional fulfillment in cultivating a safe, nurturing home environment.

🫧 Northnode in 5H/ leo:

-you might have spent previous lifetimes (or earlier parts of your life) focusing on abstract thinking, group goals, or even detaching emotionally. With the North Node in the 5th house, you're being asked to move away from these more distant, impersonal energies and embrace a more passionate, personal connection to life. You're meant to learn how to live from the heart and pursue what excites and inspires you.People with the North Node in the 5th house often feel the pressure to focus on work or obligations. However, you are being called to create balance by nurturing your creative side and allowing yourself time for fun, adventure, and recreation. This placement teaches that it’s important to play and relax, not just work and achieve. Learning to relax and enjoy the process, not just the outcome, is a key lesson.The 5th house is also linked to taking risks and embracing the unknown. With the North Node here, you might be called to step out of your comfort zone and take creative or personal risks. This can be scary, but it's a crucial part of your growth. You’re meant to learn how to be more open to trying new things, taking chances, and showing your authentic self without fear of failure or judgment.In many cases, those with this placement may feel restricted by expectations or the norms of society. The North Node in the 5th urges you to embrace what makes you truly unique, even if it goes against what others expect or think is “normal.” It’s about being true to who you are and expressing that with pride.

🫧 Northnode in 6 H/ Virgo:

-With the North Node in the 6th house, you're being guided to move away from lofty, abstract concepts and instead focus on practical, tangible tasks. Your soul’s growth comes from getting grounded in the here and now, focusing on small but meaningful contributions to your daily life.The 6th house is tied to health, so you may also find that helping others is healing for you. Whether it's through your work or everyday acts of kindness, serving others in a practical way may lead to personal healing. There may also be a connection between your physical health and your emotional state, meaning that when you focus on helping others and creating structure in your life, your own well-being improves.With the North Node in the 6th house, you may be called to pay attention to the details of life. This could mean getting better at organizing, planning, and fine-tuning the small aspects of your routine or job. However, it's important to find a balance and avoid falling into perfectionism.you’re meant to develop a humble, practical approach to life and find satisfaction in the simple, everyday tasks. This could mean embracing tasks that others might overlook but that are essential to creating a well-functioning environment.

🫧 Northnode in 7H/ Libra :

-North Node in the 7th house urges you to move away from excessive self-focus and towards focusing on others. Your soul’s evolution comes from learning to relate to the world through relationships and partnerships, not just from your own individual perspective.One of the deeper lessons of the North Node in the 7th house is learning how to be a true partner. This doesn’t just mean being in a relationship, but actively being a supportive, equal partner who respects the needs and desires of the other person. You may find yourself attracted to people who mirror your own relationship struggles or serve as teachers in how to develop stronger bonds. You might attract significant people into your life who will help you grow or challenge you to learn the lessons of cooperation, balance, and partnership. These individuals may play crucial roles in your development, and you’ll likely experience significant relationship dynamics throughout your life that guide your personal growth.A key lesson is learning to shift your focus from "me" to "we." This means moving away from an overly independent mindset and embracing a cooperative, team-oriented approach to life. The North Node in the 7th house emphasizes the importance of collaboration, negotiation, and creating a shared vision with others, whether in love, work, or friendship.

🫧 Northnode in 8H/ scorpio:

-The 8th house governs the occult, hidden knowledge, and mysteries. Having the North Node here suggests you may be drawn to explore subjects like psychology, metaphysics, astrology, or anything that delves into life’s mysteries. You are meant to develop a deeper understanding of the unseen forces at work in your life and in the world. Your growth comes from embracing and exploring the unknown rather than shying away from it.The North Node in the 8th house asks you to move beyond the material world and focus on inner transformation, emotional depth, and the intangible aspects of life. You may need to let go of a need for control over material things and trust in the process of transformation.you may need to face your fears head-on, particularly fears related to loss, death, vulnerability, or intimacy. This is a path of confronting your own psychological “shadow”,the parts of yourself you may not fully understand or accept. The more you embrace your shadow, the more you transform and grow.There is often a lesson related to power and control when the North Node is in the 8th house. You may need to learn how to navigate power dynamics in relationships, whether it’s about controlling your own power, being manipulated by others, or learning how to empower those around you. Understanding how power works on both a personal and collective level is a key part of your soul’s journey.

🫧 Northnode in 9H/ Sagittarius

-you may have spent previous lifetimes or earlier parts of your life focusing on familiar, practical knowledge or staying within a small, familiar circle. The North Node in the 9th house asks you to move beyond these limits and seek broader, more expansive knowledge. It’s time to move away from focusing on just the immediate and local world and embrace the big picture.One of the key lessons of the 9th house is about finding freedom in your beliefs and worldview. You might be encouraged to break free from inherited beliefs, whether cultural, religious, or familial, and explore what resonates with you personally. This could lead you to adopt an entirely new belief system or philosophy that reflects your evolving sense of self.While the North Node in the 9th house calls you to seek knowledge, it also points to the importance of sharing what you’ve learned. As you grow and expand your understanding, you might feel called to teach others or guide them on their own journeys of discovery. This could involve teaching formally, writing, or simply sharing your wisdom through life experiences.Traveling may be a key aspect of your life, broadening your worldview and expanding your understanding of different cultures and people.

🫧 Northnode in 10H/ Capricorn

-with your South Node is in the 4th house, you may have spent previous lifetimes or earlier parts of this life focusing too much on your home, family, and personal comfort. While these things are important, the North Node in the 10th house encourages you to move toward the public realm, professional growth, and outward achievement. It’s time to shift from a focus on internal, family matters and develop a strong presence in the world.The North Node in the 10th house can bring a sense of destiny tied to your career. You may feel driven by a desire to achieve something significant and leave a mark on the world. There is often a sense of "rising to the top" in some capacity, but this is not about superficial fame. It’s about aligning with your true purpose and contributing meaningfully to society in a way that fulfills your highest potential.People with the North Node in the 10th house are often called to be more visible in the world. This could mean stepping into the spotlight, leading a team, or being recognized for your work or achievements. It's about learning how to be comfortable with recognition and building a professional reputation that reflects your true abilities and contributions. You’re meant to grow into someone others look up to for guidance and wisdom. Developing leadership skills and becoming more confident in your authority will be key to your growth.

🫧 Northnode in 11 H / Aquarius

-The North Node in the 11th house encourages you to step away from the more self-centered, individualistic aspects of the 5th house(South node in 5th) and toward working with others for a common cause. It’s about shifting from focusing solely on personal desires to contributing to larger collective goals.Your growth comes from building friendships that align with your values and ideals. You are meant to surround yourself with people who inspire you, challenge you, and push you toward your bigger goals. While it’s important to have fun and connect on a personal level, your soul's purpose thrives when you focus on relationships that have a deeper, more purposeful connection based on shared ideals or a common mission.The 11th house is linked to innovation, science, and technology. You may feel drawn to explore new technologies, trends, or ways of connecting with others, particularly through modern methods such as social media or virtual communities. Embracing new ways of connecting or working with others on a larger scale,especially through technology can be a significant part of your soul’s journey.You may feel drawn to participate in or lead social causes, organizations, or movements that work for the betterment of society. Whether through activism, charity, or working in a community-focused job, you’re meant to contribute to the collective good. Working toward a better future for all is an essential part of your purpose.

🫧 Northnode in 12H/ Pisces

- with your South Node is in the 6th house, you may have spent past lifetimes or earlier parts of your life focused on practicality, daily routines, and material success. The North Node in the 12th house encourages you to move away from these outward, day-to-day concerns and toward more internal, spiritual work. It’s about finding peace within yourself rather than constantly trying to improve the material aspects of life.The 12th house is about retreating from the noise of the world. You may need to spend time alone or in quiet environments to connect with your deeper self. This doesn’t mean being isolated or lonely, but rather allowing yourself to recharge and access the subconscious mind. Regular solitude or spiritual practices such as meditation or journaling can help you unlock the wisdom of the 12th house.The 12th house is often associated with the unconscious mind and, in some ways, past lives. People with the North Node in the 12th house might feel a sense of nostalgia or a deep connection to things that are hidden or not immediately understandable. You may also experience vivid dreams or flashes of intuition that guide you toward healing or deeper understanding.You might be called to contribute to the world in a way that is not self-serving or for recognition. This could involve working in a charitable capacity, taking on a spiritual role, or simply helping people who are suffering. Your purpose is about offering compassion and kindness without the expectation of reward or recognition.

Hope you enjoyed ✨

- PIKO ❤️

[oddyseye]

Things I did NOT like in the Ithaca Saga.

Okay, it was fine, but there were just...choices... There’s just stuff in that section that had me rolling my eyes so hard I thought they’d get stuck.

First up: "Hold Them Down." I get that Epic is trying to make the suitors worse villains, but the way they went about it was disgusting. That song outright says the suitors were planning to force themselves on Penelope, which is not even remotely in the Odyssey. Yes, the suitors are terrible — they’re greedy, arrogant, would-be killers who exploit her hospitality — but this crosses a line that feels like shock value rather than staying true to the source material. They included that song, but erased Calypso’s actions toward Odysseus? In the Odyssey, she held him captive for years and forced him into a relationship. That is literally such an important part of the story. Yet, not only did Epic omit it, but they also banned people from even discussing it in their Discord server. How does that make sense? You can explore one kind of assault but not acknowledge the other, especially when the one they ignored was actually canon? The double standard is infuriating, and it completely undermines the narrative’s integrity. Yet somehow this suitor nonsense made the cut? Make it make sense, because I can’t. Next, Telemachus. Why did they do my boy so dirty? In the Odyssey, he was brave, capable, and growing into his own. He fought beside Odysseus, killed suitors, and even comes this close to stringing Odysseus’ old bow, which is supposed to be impossible for anyone but...well. Odysseus. That’s a huge moment! It shows how much he’s grown and how much of Odysseus’ strength and legacy he carries within him. But in Epic? They turned him into some weak, helpless little thing who can’t do anything without Odysseus. Like, hello? Telemachus isn’t just Odysseus’ son; he’s a fighter, a prince, and a man trying to defend his home. Stripping that away to make Odysseus look like more of a hero is just lazy and disrespectful to the original story. They took away his courage, his growth, and his ability to hold his own. It’s like they didn’t trust the audience to see Odysseus as a hero unless Telemachus was made to look useless by comparison. And then we get to Odysseus and Athena. What even was that? Yes, the idea that Odysseus has become a “monster” is a fascinating angle—he’s been through so much that revenge, violence, and survival have completely overtaken who he once was. But Ithaca does nothing to earn this shift, and it outright ignores the groundwork laid in earlier sagas. Two sagas ago, we saw Odysseus at his lowest. He was stranded on Calypso’s island, completely defeated, and begging Athena for help. Let me say that again: begging. And this wasn’t just any goddess he was calling out to — this was the mentor who had abandoned him as a student. She had walked away, and he still reached out, still trusted her to save him when no one else could. That moment showed Odysseus’ faith in Athena and their deep, complicated bond. Calypso.

And Athena? She didn’t just listen—she fought for him. She went up against Zeus himself to make sure Odysseus could leave that island. She defied the king of the gods because she believed in him. Odysseus doesn’t know that detail, but we do, and it makes her devotion to him so much more impactful. She risked everything to give him another chance at life, at home, at redemption.

Fast-forward to Ithaca, and what do we get? Athena shows up, vulnerable and introspective, questioning the path they’ve taken and the world they’ve built, and Odysseus just brushes her off. He doesn’t just say no — he dismisses her entirely. His response boils down to, “Not my problem. I’ve got a wife to see.” Excuse me, now? This is the same man who was crying out for her intervention just two sagas ago. The same man whose survival has always depended on his intelligence, resourcefulness, and the help of others — Athena most of all. Now he’s too proud to even engage with her? It doesn’t track. It’s inconsistent, and it cheapens their relationship. She’s opening her heart, showing her vulnerability, wondering if there’s still a way for them to fix what they’ve broken. She didn’t owe him anything, but she did it because she believed in him, because she had invested in him from the start. So for him to now completely disregard her — when she’s in front of him, showing empathy and pain — feels like a betrayal of everything that came before. Odysseus’ monster arc didn’t need to erase Athena. In fact, rejecting the one person who literally raised him, who fought for him, who saved him so many times, doesn’t even make sense for his character. That’s not the arc of a man who’s become a monster; that’s just cruelty for cruelty’s sake.

This is someone who has given everything to Odysseus, and in this moment, she’s realizing that the person she fought for is no longer the man she thought he was. And that’s what’s tragic.

But Ithaca doesn’t explore that. Instead, it uses Odysseus’ rejection as a cheap plot point, stripping away the emotional weight of his relationship with Athena. She was the woman who raised him, who guided him, who saved him — and they reduced her to a mere plot device to show how “monster-ified” Odysseus has become. It’s lazy, it’s cruel, and it completely disregards the depth of their bond. The pain in Athena’s voice, the heartbreak in her words, is completely wasted.

Odysseus doesn’t need to be a monster who rejects Athena to be a tragic figure. The tragedy would have been in him choosing revenge and violence at the cost of his humanity, not in cutting ties with the one person who raised him into the hero he became. Ithaca could’ve explored that, but instead, it gave us a shallow, hollow portrayal that didn’t respect the characters, their history, or the emotional weight of their relationship. Ithaca is a hot mess, and it’s honestly embarrassing. It had all this potential, and yet it chose to phone it in with lazy writing and shallow plot twists. It throws out big ideas and then does nothing with them, leaving us with empty, unearned moments that just fall flat. Instead of digging into anything meaningful, it relies on cheap drama to get a reaction. The story feels rushed, disconnected from the other sagas, and like the creators couldn’t be bothered to put in the work. They had an opportunity to make something impactful and then just decided to half-ass it. If you're looking for a mess of missed potential, Ithaca is your go-to. That being said, the songs are sick and I will sob again over the last song. Thank you.

[survivalove]

We know why Aang fell in love with Katara! But what about Katara? Can you give me five reasons why Katara fell in love with Aang? We see her love grow throughout the seasons until she threatens Zuko, willing to kill him for Aang.

ummmm sure! why not?

1. Vulnerability

I think it’s safe to say Katara was infatuated with Aang from day 1. Starting on the basis of him being ‘new’ and later, on him being the literal savior she’d been dreaming of.

But love isn’t based on infatuation. So to me, what made Katara fall in love with Aang was getting to know him as a real person, his strengths and his vulnerabilities. Katara was the only person to whom Aang told the truth about his disappearance and I think that was the start of her falling in love with Aang, the boy, not the Avatar.

2. Unconditional Support

As soon as Aang meets Katara he immediately offers to help make her dream come true with no strings attached. Keep in mind, since her mother passed, Katara had been forced to inherit a motherly role both in her family unit and in her tribe, learning to put others before herself. Then here comes a boy, foreign to this dynamic and is ready to put her dreams above whatever it is he has to do.

I think that would make any girl fall in love especially one in her circumstances. Also helps that Aang is very consistent in supporting Katara, so much so that she expects him to be there for her when she needs him, without asking. This also ties into my 3rd reason.

3. Trust

Katara and Aang are friends first which is very important to their relationship and some may say supersedes their romantic arc. Katara always trusts aang to do the right thing and be a good person, not just towards her but to those in need. We can see with her that this is very important to her in the Jet episode and is in fact a dealbreaker for her when Jet ends up breaking her trust. Aang however, never betrays her. In fact, her trust in him is only rewarded time and time again, so why wouldn’t she fall in love with him?

4. Childhood Hero

Not to contradict my first point but Aang being the Avatar is still kind of an important factor, just not the most important one. The fortuneteller is the first episode where Katara sees Aang in a romantic light and it’s after he defeats a powerful force of nature almost single-handedly. We see that Katara is very pleased when Aunt Wu tells her she will marry someone very powerful and who’s more powerful than the literal Avatar? I think it’s rather natural that Katara would fall in love with the hero she’s been waiting for her whole life, especially when he actually lives up to everything she dreamed he would be and more.

It’s like when you meet your favorite celebrity and they’re actually a nice person which makes you like them even more? In this case, Katara’s favorite celebrity just happens to like her back so

5. Wisdom

Lastly, I think what helped Katara fall in love with Aang is that he is someone she can learn from him and he learns from her as well. They’re both steadfast in their beliefs even when they contrast each other’s. Katara has always shown an interest in spirituality and other cultures and here comes a boy from a time before war who can show her the way things were back then, takes her around the world to explore other cultures that she was never exposed to, validates her belief in spirituality and even better, humbly accepts her as someone she can learn from as well.

i hope this response is satisfactory to you anon 😂

[comesatimecomesashadow]

white flag *ೃ༄

pairing *ೃ༄ uchiha madara x wife reader

cw *ೃ༄ reader is married to him + they have children together, angst (a bit), pining, mentions of blood.

fic type *ೃ༄ one-shot, part ii to 'le ciel'.

summary *ೃ༄ a continuation of the story of how your relationship with him came to be.

note *ೃ༄ my writing skills are rust (its been a while) but this is a christmas special since some of you requested a part two.

masterlist *ೃ༄

   “My dream.. Is for you to be at peace.”  

   The sun began to set, it bathed the two of you in its soft golden rays as it hid behind the mountains. The fluff of the clouds graced the skies as the wind swept around Madara and you, as if to wrap you up together. Madara always looked calmer when he was with you. 

   Then again, he supposed it was because he had always been comfortable with you, ever since the two of you were barely fledgelings in the forest. 

   “For me to be at peace?” Madara looked away from you and to the thriving village being built before him.. And you. His eyes searched for something but you weren’t quite sure what. 

   “You’re always fighting, even now that the village is being built — You’re still fighting.” you noted. He glanced at you, who were at his side. He remembered his last altercation with your brother, how you sat at his side ready to heal him once your brother called for it. You were always so considerate of him, it was a quality he used to deem a weakness back when he viewed your clan as his enemy. Now that the two of your clans stood on the same side.. He quite liked that about you. 

   “Is that so? What makes you say that?” Madara inquired, leaning back on his palms while he sat beside you on the cliff. Of course, he knew he had been dealing with a lot due to the Uchiha growing more distant from him despite him being their clan’s leader. He and his clan had different views and he wasn’t quite sure how to take it. 

   And as if to shed a light on the problems he kept to himself, you spoke again. “I’ve heard things among the Uchiha..”  

   He turned to you, his expression placid. Madara sighed, “So you know they do not trust me.” 

   “I know that you’re doing what you think is best for the clan..” Your voice was one of understanding. There was a softness to it that Madara wasn’t used to. He wasn’t a man of many words and he hated when people hesitated to say what they wanted. He was more accustomed to the yelling and the fighting — maybe that’s why he felt he was incompatible with the peace that had settled between the Uchiha and the Senju. “But the times are changing- Our people are changing. It's hard to adjust after centuries of fighting, but I know that you have the strength to adapt.” 

   He gazed up at you as you stood from your sitting position, you looked determined from the way your sights were set on the village below. Then, you looked down to him, who was still sitting down. “I won’t let your efforts go to waste. So.. you can’t let them either.” 

   “Are you asking me or is that an order?” He stood up and smirked, he spoke with a playful edge to his question. 

   You smiled up at him, “In my life, I have never asked for anything. Not once. So, I trust that you’ll take into consideration what I am asking of you.” His black eyes met yours and for the first time in years, you saw a glimmer of warmth in them. He scoffed and walked past you. Your eyes lingered on him as you watched him walk away, only to stop for a moment. 

   “..I’ll consider it.” 

—

   After that conversation on the cliffside with Madara, your brothers started the talk on politics. Hashirama wanted Madara to be named Hokage over the village, but with his image and his past, Tobirama was opposed to it.Things were busier than ever following the end of the war and it stressed you out, sure, but you weren’t going to let Tobirama run the Uchiha name through the mud, not when the both of your clans had made the decision to come together and be at peace. 

   “It’s not a wise decision to outright make him Hokage just because you want to, brother.” Tobirama sat on the table and looked over some documents. “The village people don’t trust him. I don’t trust him.” 

   Your arms were crossed. You weren’t pleased with the way Tobirama was talking about them — or him. You never were. ‘There’s always room for improvement. We can’t just assume he’s a danger based on the fact that you don’t trust him, brother.” You weren’t for nor against Madara becoming Konhagakure’s leader. If he had the leadership skills and was able to handle the job, you didn’t mind it one way or the other. 

   Tobirama sighed, “I’m just trying to say that it would be a better idea to let the people choose.” 

   Standing up, you decided that that was the best course of action. “It would, That way it’s fair to everyone. If that’s all, I’ll be taking my leave.” Hashirama nodded and bid you goodnight while Tobirama stayed behind with your older brother. Before you left, you turned to smile at them. “-and don’t stay here too late. If we’re trying to establish a government, we need to be well-rested.” 

   Hashirama chuckled, “We will. There’s no need to worry.” So with one last glance, you walked out of the office and headed out. 

   You looked around the streets and saw the dim light of shops being built still and a few campsites around the area. It was a work in progress, sure. But it was yours. It was Hashirama’s. It was Madara’s. For the future of the Uchiha, the Senju, the clans that had joined you and the other clans to come. As you walked around, you picked up the scent of freshly cut wood, water and.. Noodles? As you turned the corner, the smell of noodles and broth led you to a small restaurant where some of the other business began to open up. 

   The kana on the curtains read : ‘Ichiraku’ and you discerned that the aroma was coming from there. So without a moment's hesitation, you parted the curtains and looked around the quaint eatery. The cushioning on the stool was comfortable and the counters were clean — The businessman was clearly doing well for himself from the looks of it. 

   “Ah! Welcome, welcome! You’re ______ Senju- Hashirama’s sister, right? It’s an honor to see you!” said the young cook. You smiled at the warm welcome, it had dawned on you that people would probably regard you highly, especially since you had helped end the century-long war. 

   “Please, don’t mind me..!” You straightened up a bit, “The food here smells amazing, are you still open? I understand it’s quite late.” 

   The young cook waved you off, “Ah, Don’t mind that! Just for you, I have room for one more order, or two.” He chuckled a little and got to work on the noodles. “What would you like to order?” You looked up to the menu and saw various dishes that seemed way too good to eat. You couldn't decide for the life of you, so you told the young cook to give you the first dish he had ever made. 

   As you waited for your noodles to be served, you heard the ruffling of fabric. When you glanced back, you were surprised to see Madara standing there. He blinked. You blinked. 

   “What are-”

   “What are you-” ..

   “You first,” You chuckled. 

   He smiled a little while taking a seat next to you. “I heard your voice and well, It’s late so I was wondering what you were doing here.” 

   You nodded in understanding. You opened your mouth to respond but before you could, the young cook placed an appetizing bowl of noodles in front of you. “Here you go! Enjoy them and tell me what you think.” 

   “Will do.” You offered a smile before bringing the bowl closer and taking some chopsticks from the cup. “Anyway, I was just looking around the shops n’ found this place. The noodles smell good so I thought: ‘why not?’” 

   Madara rested his chin on his palm while he looked at you. You seemed so eager to have a bite and wondered for a moment what your expression would look like once you tasted the noodles. You raised your chopsticks and wasted no time in taking the first bite. Just as he expected, a bewildered expression graced your features not long after you took a bite. 

   You noted his gaze on you from the corner of your eye mid-bite. Thinking it weird for him to have his sights so ..set on you, you offered a bite to him. “Do you.. Want some?” 

   “Huh-? Oh, no it’s fine, i’m fine.” He stammered. 

   You smiled awkwardly, finding it humorous for a man like him to be stuttering. “You sure? You keep looking at my food…” 

   “I was looking at you.” he deadpanned. 

   “Oh?-” 

   “-cause you looked dumb.” He said, “Like a kid, getting happy over a mere bowl of noodles.. Stupid..” he muttered that last part under his breath. 

   You, knowing him like the back of your hand, saw his weak defense. There was clearly something more to the way he was looking at you, but you left it alone. You didn’t want to push him. 

   About an hour later, you were caught up talking the night away with Madara. You’d finished your bowl of noodles about thirty minutes ago, but just speaking and catching up with him after years of not knowing anything about him left you curious. The two of you laughed over the differences between clans, the awkwardness of residing next to one another and finally, the present and near future. 

   “And how are they reacting? Better I hope..?” 

   He reluctantly nodded, “Something like that. I think if I continue this overtime, I’ll gain their trust back.” 

   A warm smile found its way onto your lips upon hearing the news. “I think you will, all we need is time.” You looked up at the moon. It was smack dab in the middle of the sky, evidence that it was way past the time you usually slept at. But for some odd reason, you didn’t feel tired. Walking with him through the dirt roads was therapeutic for you in a way. “I wish my brother understood that..” you sighed. 

   “Hashirama?” 

   You shook your head, “The other one.” 

   Madara sighed heavily, “Ah, Tobirama.. I believe he hates me, he thinks I'm a threat, correct?” 

   You nodded, “Yeah.. To put it bluntly, I think he’s still caught up in the old ways.. Though I can’t blame him. But still.. I think you’d be a great Hokage, given the chance.” 

   “Hokage? Me?” Madara chuckled. “Is that what the three of you are trying to decide?” 

   “We need to establish our leader but I don’t want it to be the three of us deciding that. Tobirama thinks the people should choose — and frankly I agree with him.” You continued walking the dirt roads with him. Amidst these hectic days, the times when you got to see Madara or just speak with him were the times you cherished more. 

   Around him, you didn’t have to be a political leader or uphold public appearance. WIth him, you could just be. 

   As the two of you wandered around, white particles around the two of you began to fall. The beginnings of winter, it seemed. “Do you like the snow?” Madara asked you. His demeanor notably softened after your time spent at the restaurant. 

   “I do, actually. I never got to enjoy it much, though.” You reached out a hand to the snowing sky. It was the end of the month, soon it’d be the start of a new year. 

   “Why not?” 

   “Bloodstains.” you said simply. “There was always bloodstains.” 

   Madara didn’t respond. He just watched as you collected particles of snow on your hands, watching them melt due to the warmth you emitted. You always had a habit of leaving him speechless. “Not this year,” he said. He spoke with such certainty that you grew curious of his thoughts. Did he have faith in this village? Did he think it would work in the long-run? 

   “You sound so sure of yourself.” You spoke, with a slight smile as you watched the snow turn into tiny water droplets on your palm.  

   He turned to face you, you were compelled to gaze at him in the same way. 

   “If there’s one thing you’ve taught me, it’s to have.. Hope.” The word felt foreign on his tongue, but he couldn’t think of a better one. It was true, after all. Since the two of you were kids, you’d always had an inextinguishable hope. One that nobody, not even him in his most regrettable moments, could put out. 

   “I..” You didn’t know what to say to that. You were proud, of course, but .. It was odd to hear him so optimistic. “Really?” 

   He nodded, a smile gracing his lips as he looked down at you. “I used to think it was trivial, that it was just some flimsy thought to make yourself better.. I saw how the village only kept thriving, how more and more clans kept joining us and..” The warmth in his eyes was unlike you’d ever seen before. “I realized you and Hashirama were right. We were still able to achieve the peace between clans that we’d always dreamed of, thanks to the two of you.” 

   “And you.” you nudged him playfully. “You were the one who accepted Hashirama’s offer, so it’s thanks to you too.” 

   Madara never thought a smile could look as pretty as yours, it was something that remained unchanging. 

   Even after choosing to marry him years after the establishment of Konoha and even after giving him three children of his own — your smile remained the light in his life. Madara would never forget how happy you looked when you first got to enjoy the snow in the forest, or the countless dates at Ichiraku that you dragged him to simply because it was the first meal the two of you had eaten together. 

   Now, the two of you were older.. And parents at that. But that only made his love for you increase evermore. He never would have imagined himself to be your husband or the father that you made him, but he wouldn’t exchange it for anything else. You had made his dreams possible and he only hoped that he had made yours possible as well. 

   As he gazed down at your sleeping form on the day after his birthday, Christmas day, he could only smile and place a chaste kiss on your forehead. To his surprise, you smiled at his gesture, which only served to give you away. “Awake are we?” 

   You nodded and adjusted your position to lay your head in his lap. “I have been, for a while now actually. I was wondering when you were gonna notice.” Your voice had a playful lilt to it. He had grown accustomed to it by now. 

   He chuckled at your words. “Oh I noticed alright. I’ve been up longer than you have.” 

   You smiled playfully and sat up to look at him better. “Liar.” 

   “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

   You poked his cheek before getting up to head to the closet. Unbeknownst to your husband, you had made a little present for him and hid it in the closet so he wouldn’t find it. He lifted a brow when he watched you come back and offered a small box to him, wrapped in red gift-wrap and tied with a black ribbon. “What’s the occasion?” 

   Now it was your turn to laugh. “It’s Christmas, did you forget?” 

   “Oh.” He accepted your gift and looked at the carefully wrapped box. “No, I didn’t.” 

   “Alright well, open it!” You sat in front of him, eager to see his reaction. “It may not be the best, but I tried to make it myself instead of just buying it.” 

   “..?” He carefully lifted the top part of the box and was surprised to see a hair accessory- A handmade hair tie to be exact. “Did you make this yourself?” He lifted it up to inspect it. The tie was made up of red threads, it felt soft in his hand so he guessed silk. It had accents of black along the ends of it as well. 

   You nodded, “I did. I wanted it to be a little more special.” 

   Your thoughtfulness brought a smile to his face. “Do you want to tie it on for me?” With a nod, you made your way to his side and began braiding a bit of his spikey black hair. “A braid?”

   “Mhm, I like how they look on you.” 

   A familiar warmth set in his heart as you watched you carefully braid through his hair. Sometimes, he thought you loved his hair more than him but you always denied it saying that you loved his hair because of him (and that he’d better not cut it off ever because he’d be six feet under before he ever thought of doing such a thing.) 

   A comfortable silence had settled in between the two of you before Madara broke it. 

   “Has your dream come true?” 

   You weaved the strands of hair meticulously. “My dream? About the village?” 

   He shook his head a little, careful not to disturb your work. “The other one.” 

   It took you some time to find what dream he was talking about, until the memory flashed in your mind. “The one I told you about back on the cliff?” 

   Madara nodded, “Has it come true?” As you tied the braid together using the handmade hair tie you’d made for him, you reached out to cup his cheek.

    “Yeah. More than true, I’d wager.”

tagged *ೃ༄

@valerayne @emneedshelp

[amelikos]

Spinel's relationship with Blacky really gained layers, I'm kind of fascinated.. the thought that they live in their world only they can understand.

[xray-vex]

HOW YOUR EMAIL FINDS ME

[01tsubomi]

kamikaze girls. cult classic in the lolita fashion community as a story that explores the subculture alongside the subculture of girl biker gangs. there’s a movie and it’s really really good so i decided to read the original novel too. and mamma mia

the thing abt the wlw experience is that the bond between girls is. unexplainable and deep and special. while researching for a video essay school project about yuri last year i found an article by a japanese yuri scholar lesbian who found it confusing that so much american wlw media is focused on unambiguous in-your-face romances, when yuri as a genre is based on how those bonds between women, even while being labeled platonic, are deeply deeply intimate and important and meaningful. there’s a lot in there abt how yuri media isn’t meant to prove a point about acceptance which is why it’s not considered meaningful to canonize and clarify romances the way it absolutely has been in the scope of western queer media, but it’s also stayed on my mind bc there are so many sapphic YA books i’ve read that kinda just. have the girls blush abt each other being pretty and wanting to kiss and stuff without really getting at all into just how deep and meaningful bonds between girls are even before romance and how in female friendships there’s this sense of knowing who you are with each other and just feeling understood and comfortable and trusted. but anyway this is the last line of the kamikaze girls novel

“the way you would with a lover, i let the breeze wash over me, and gently, nestled my head in ichigo’s back.”

[gayfranzkafka]

(insane post incoming) okay i've been a taylor swift re-recordings hater since the beginning but the Speak Now re-recording is making me INSANE i think it's partially just that i'm having a weird time emotionally anyway but like "Timeless" made me TEAR UP like bro WHAT like something about it being soooo essentially of that era but new like the novelty of it BONKED me over the head with a reminder of what it felt like to hear all those songs off Speak Now for the first time when i just had this IDEA of what love was & hadn't actually experienced it yet (& wouldn't for many years!!) like way before i even knew i was a lesbian just listening to taylor sing "enchanted" alone in my bedroom wondering who the guy she was singing about was & if she ever saw him again (because i was #blessed to not have internet access and therefor not know it was the dude from owl city she was singing about alsdfhaklsdhfasdh) & i remember just pouring through the little lyric booklet & its pictures & intro & mostly it was just me & the music & this picture of her in a ballgown in my head & this made up but hopeful romantic idea of what love is and like S C R E A M

[evanhereonearth]

The Insidious Cycle of the Abuser Who Says They Love You: Mythal and Solas

Likely goes without saying, but Veilguard spoilers all under the jump.

I have been absolutely wrecked by the end scenes in Veilguard for weeks now, and I want to do a deep dive into Solas's relationship with Mythal and how it absolutely reeks of abuse. Long post incoming!

CW for heavy discussion of cycles of abuse, trauma response, and abuse tactics.

When I finished my first playthrough, this moment hit me like an absolute freight train. His visceral response to her presence and the way he instinctively retreats and flinches back/puts out a hand to protect himself is a full-blown trauma response.

And then she starts talking and moving towards him, and it gets worse.

Solas curls in on himself; his body goes even further into self-protection mode. His face is downcast, not the way he bowed to his vhenan moments before with a straight back and open posture, but shrinking.

And then as she advances, he cowers.

He completely folds inward. He crumples; he shakes, he hyperventilates, and the moment she reaches for him, he fumblingly offers her the lyrium dagger to kill him with.

Is this shame? Yes, of course, but it's far, far more than that.

For the sake of brevity, I'm going to limit this list to the four most widely recognised trauma responses:

Fight

Flight

Freeze

Fawn

As someone whose primary trauma response is fawn (wooo CPTSD), which is intensely common among people who experience complex trauma, especially through emotional and prolonged physical/mental abuse where their needs are discarded, pushed aside, or otherwise steamrolled, I felt this right alongside Solas. My own body responded to seeing it. This is, quite frankly, one of the most visceral and realistic (and extreme) fawn responses I've seen depicted in media.

Mythal in this scene is...phew, something else.

"She was the best of them," Solas tells us in Trespasser.

But she was not good, everything tells us in Veilguard.

Let's look at his regrets in chronological order.

Through Solas's memories of regret, we see this germinate in his foundational regret: leaving the Fade to take a physical form.

He does not want to do this. He tells her he does not want to do this. From the conversation, it's clear it's not the first time she's asked.

And the way she asks? Outright coercion.

"You have so long observed the world. Why not consider joining it?" [I want you to do this thing, so I will frame it as logical for you to make the choice I want you to make.]

"But I have no desire to live as humans. Besides, this talk of taking on a solid form. I think you underestimate the danger." [I don't want to do that. It does not feel safe to me.] "When you took the glowing stone to build your body, did the earth not shake?" [This is dangerous and selfish.]

"The lyrium gives us the strength we had when we were of the Fade; we are the best of both physical and Fade." [It makes us powerful, so I don't care about the risks.] "I need your wisdom, Solas, to withstand the louder voices like Elgar'nan's who would go too far." [If you do not come with me, a tyrant you abhor will make others suffer.] "I need you."

"This is madness. You must know that." [I don't want to do this at all. This will hurt me. I don't want this.] "I will always follow where you go." [Because I love you and trust you.]

Mythal's words in this part are classic abusive framing. When appealing to his natural curiosity does not work and he expresses strong rejection of her logical thought process (just because I have observed this place does not mean I want to go there, echoing his comments to the Inquisitor in DAI: "Many Orlesian peasants dream of travelling to exotic Rivain. But not everyone wants to go to Rivain!") and expresses that there is significant danger to continue to build bodies out of lyrium, she changes tactics.

Her second tactic is that it gives them power--she implies that he is limited and not enough for being only of the Fade. If he follows her, he will be the best of both, like she is. She clearly already sees herself as above him.

Her third tactic is pure emotional blackmail: "I need you. I will give in to the tyrants without your wisdom, and having your counsel in the Fade is not enough. If you don't go against your own nature and desires, people will suffer...and it will be your fault for not being by my side."

She doesn't say those things outright, but they are implied by everything she is saying. He says again he doesn't want it--that it is madness and that she must be aware of that despite her ignoring any suggestion that she actually is. All she is seeing is power and her desires: for Solas to do what she wants him to do.

So he agrees. Because she is his friend, and she says she needs him.

As far as core wounds go, this one is a doozy. It's absolutely brutal, because it's irrevocable. It's a point of no return. It's the first in what will become millennia of regret, of her ignoring the Wisdom she coerced out of the Fade to do what she wants regardless, to continue to push him to twist his nature under the guise of the greater good, to continue to cede to Elgar'nan and enable the very tyrants she promised him to balance.

This regret was deeply painful for me to watch. The nuance here is easily lost if people don't understand abuse tactics and how this sort of manipulation is used. It also serves to bind Solas to Mythal, an enormous sunk cost fallacy in the making--once he has made this choice, there is no going back.

And you see Solas curled in on himself in anguish and regret from the trauma of taking a physical form. It is in deep, painful contrast to his open, free wingspan as a spirit of Wisdom; he will never be the same.

"Have you created what we need?" From the outset Mythal is framing this as his idea as much as hers, when from everything he says, that is not true.

"With this, the proper ritual will sunder every Titan from its spirit. But you must know, those severed dreams will certainly be driven mad, a disembodied blight of pain and anger. It--is--awful what we are doing."

"And the only way to end this war."

Again, Solas offers the wisdom she claimed she took him from the Fade to listen to. He warns her, again, of the danger. He does not want to do this. Just like he warned her of the earth quaking when they made their bodies--they, the Evanuris, started this war by taking what they wanted regardless of who it hurt. He never wanted to participate in it, but now he is in the middle of that war. Mythal was one of the initial perpetrators of this war; she brought Solas into it against his will because he loved her, and now he's stuck. He is past his point of no return. And she is still using his heart against him. She has isolated him from everyone he knew in the Fade; he has no one to support him. He. Only. Has. Her.

This is another classic abuse tactic; if the person being abused has no one else, they will continue to enable that abuse even if it harms others, because they cannot see a way out. If you don't do what I say, it will destroy our children, our family. If you don't do what I say, this war will consume all you have, and you no longer have a home to return to. If you don't do what I say and hurt yourself and the Other, more will suffer, and it will be your fault.

Again, his posture, curled up and broken, appearing to cradle a now-tranquil Titan beneath him--and be embraced in return. This is an interesting artistic choice here, one that aches. It speaks to the depth of his own wound and how much it rent his own spirit to follow through with Mythal's wants here; that it sundered him from his spirit as much as it did the Titans.

"You cannot do this, Elgar'nan! You swore we would give up our commands when this war was over!"

"Our people need our leadership. If you are unwilling, leave."

From Elgar'nan, this is expected. From Mythal?

"Our people must rebuild. And we must help unite them."

Solas, once again, betrayed. He put his trust in Mythal and in the other Evanuris to follow through with their promise. Everything he has done thus far is poisoned in this moment; had the Evanuris indeed stepped back rather than stepped on necks, perhaps Solas could have healed, found a way to live with what he had done, maybe even to make amends. But this starts his war anew--and Mythal is standing with his enemy despite her promises, despite every wheedling word she's used to get what she wants from him over the centuries and longer, despite him turning from everything, everything, he loved to love her. This is the moment where he understands that he has only been a tool to her all along.

"So we did not fight for freedom, but to conquer this land and our own."

Let's pick apart Solas's words.

So we did not fight for freedom: He truly believed that he was fighting for freedom, that no matter how bad it got, that he could bear it for freedom.

But to conquer this land: Literally the land, I think, because of the Titans. To subdue them at all costs. This was not what he came for, but he believed Mythal.

And our own: Our own, our people, more spirits we gave bodies for this war, more who may not have wanted to leave the Fade. Our own, our people. To Solas, he is one of them. In this moment, he realises how much Mythal holds herself above all of them.

Elgar'nan's words are all too telling: "We fought to win. And now the Evanuris are as gods. I do not answer to Mythal's annoying lapdog."

They all--all--see him thus. As her pet.

Because he is. She has, until now, controlled him utterly with her manipulation and "need" for him.

"The people are afraid. They must believe in something." Mythal does not even stand up for Solas here; she does not reject Elgar'nan's perception of him. All she does is further distance herself.

The people are afraid: The Evanuris made them. They are as controlled as Solas and more.

Elgar'nan asserts, "They need strength."

"And wisdom." Mythal has the absolute gall to attribute this to herself, when Solas is the source of the wisdom she "needed" for so long. (Belated addition: And another level here: she may also be saying again that she needs him, but doing so in a way that doesn't require her to stand up for him directly. Honestly, fucking gross.)

"They need gods who can protect them," Elgar'nan continues.

"We are not gods. You will learn that." Solas's voice here is pure defeat. The scales are falling from his eyes.

"Every lapdog holds a wolf inside," says Elgar'nan.

Solas knows that Elgar'nan's "protection" is hollow, based on subjugation. And I think in this moment, he learns that Mythal's is based only in her belief that she is better than those beneath her, who cannot possibly handle themselves.

So her lapdog becomes the Wolf.

"I was not certain you would come."

Solas's opening words in this regret show the distance between them already and how much he has realised he does not know this woman who called herself his friend.

And her response is to instantly blame him.

"You are the one who walked away. I never turn my back when my friend needs me."

In putting this post together, this line absolutely sucker punched me. I've watched these several times already, but the absolute audacity to blame him for standing up for his principles for the first time against all her manipulation? Hoo.

She blames him for doing just that, "turning his back when his friend needed him." She needed her enabler, and when he stopped, she turned bitter. Just like any abuser.

That he goes straight into "The Evanuris seek the magic of the Blight" instead of engaging, honestly shows that he's still Wisdom. That is one battle that is unwinnable, trying to stand up against an abuser's bullshit like that.

"Impossible," she says. "The Blight is safely sealed away forever."

Gaslight, girl boss, gatekeep.

"Though I wish I could believe you." [You have lied to me so many times.] "I have sensed the breaking of the wards."

And her answer is patronising. "I will investigate your claims." [I don't believe you.] "If they forget the danger of the Blight, I will endeavour to remind them."

Solas knows this is futile. "What if, instead, you left the Evanuris and remained with me? Do you not wish for freedom from this struggle?"

He asks her, again, to veer from the dangerous path. He desperately wants to believe he was not completely wrong about her, I think. If she were to leave, he could heal somewhat, for not having so thoroughly misjudged her character.

Am I enough for you? Was I ever enough? is the unspoken question here when he asks if she will remain with him.

And in return, he gets back even more patronising bullshit and hubris. "Be at peace, love. I will stop them."

(Can you tell Mythal pisses me off?)

She calls him love. What an unbearable insult after everything, to go on telling him she cares for him whilst ignoring his wisdom--the very wisdom she coerced him into leaving the Fade so she would have by her side--and consolidating her own power at the expense of his people.

"As you must," he says. "The Blight is our mistake."

Might be unpopular, but I do not think Solas bears a split fifty-fifty custody for whose fault the Blight is. Could he have said no about the dagger? Could he have pushed then? Maybe. But by this point, he'd already had probable millennia of complex trauma and a deeply abusive codependent relationship, probably also a level of magical bond. Like, sorry, Trick and BioWare, if you want to retcon everything you shared with us in Inquisition about being in service to the Evanuris ("You have given yourself into the service of an ancient elven god! You are Mythal's creature now. Everything you do, whether you know it or not, will be for her.") AND Mythal casually overriding her servants' will and Solas burning her vallaslin off his face and leaving a scar and devoting himself to freeing the elven people from the Evanuris's domination, fine, but I don't buy it. Even if there was no magical compulsion on him all this time, that is immaterial.

Complex trauma literally rewires the brain to survive. She spent lifetimes programming him, isolating him, stripping from him every bit of agency he had. This man did not have the capacity to say no.

When our no is trampled even for a few months or years, we stop trying to use it. We comply. We, as mortal humans, cannot begin to comprehend the compounded trauma of millennia of this happening with the stakes of worlds in the balance. Solas, quite simply, has lost the entire ability to consent. No one of us can even imagine.

Yet he managed to walk away from her somehow, when she chose Elgar'nan. This man is stronger than anyone gives him credit for.

The dagger was clearly Mythal's idea. The plan to sever the Titans from their dreams, clearly her idea. To end the war. For there to be "peace". For there to be "freedom". Except that never came.

His loyalty was to her and to their people; hers was only ever to herself.

And again, she walks away and lets Solas suffer.

What a good friend.

[screaming from the general direction of Scotland]

She put her trust in monsters instead of her oldest friend, and the monsters ate her face.

Anyone surprised? I'm surprised. (I'm not surprised.)

And on top of this, Mythal finally, finally giving Solas one tiny breadcrumb that she had any principles remaining? I think that cemented his bindings to her forever. Not just that the Evanuris killed her, but why they killed her: because after millennia, she listened to him.

For someone that deep into trauma and abuse? Well. We know what happened.

It cannot be overstated that with his imprisonment of the Evanuris and the Blight, Solas saved the entire world. The entire world. Every living being in Thedas had a chance at life because of him. Only because of him.

Morrigan says it early on in the game, that for all the consequences of the veil (which, it also must be said, was not supposed to be global!), "his imprisonment of the Evanuris was just. Had he not done so, all of Thedas would have fallen to the Blight."

And the world has hated him for it.

He woke after sleeping for millennia, exhausted by this immense act of magic, to discover that not only had it gone horribly wrong, but that it had cost his people everything. That Tevinter had come in and enslaved them, released a trickle of the Blight after breaking into the Black City, used so much blood magic that the veil itself all over Thedas has been in tatters--not least because in releasing the Blight, the survivors had had to face down and kill the dragon thralls (archdemons) of the Evanuris, rendering five out of seven of them mortal, and with their deaths over the intervening centuries, the veil had grown threadbare with only two Evanuris sustaining it.

The risks were catastrophic, the price unbearable.

Everything he'd ever done to protect the world could still come crashing down...and in a sick twist of fate, he would be alive to see it.

And, shockingly, so would Mythal.

Mythal, whose fragment has just been chilling in a swamp for centuries in human form. Mythal, whose abuse of him lasted through the entirety of the world's history. Mythal, who, due to the Evanuris's betrayal and her abusee's abandonment, has become little more than retribution.

Mythal, who could have set him free at any point in all this time and didn't, because he was hers.

Mythal, who is the only remaining person with the power to do what he feels must be done.

I find it interesting that they chose not to use the post-Inquisition dialogue at all. Interesting also that they used Mythal's voice actor and not Flemeth's. This feels like a retcon, but we'll go with it. Whatevs.

"I knew that you would find me soon enough. You need the power of a god, the strength that I alone still carry."

She's still asserting her own godhood.

He's not having it. "The blighted Evanuris will soon break free from their prison. I must make a stronger one that can contain them."

He's not wrong. Not even a little bit wrong. And he's also right that she won't help him. Why would she? She never has.

"While the prison is important, it is not the only goal you seek."

"Why should I not tear down the veil? And bring back immortality to all the elven people? They deserve it."

And this is where I get even more raging, because Mythal's answer is this: "The elven people of today do not deserve to see the world they love torn apart to salve your conscience."

I'm sorry, what?

The world they love? The world that has offered them nowt but literal genocide for thousands of years? The world where in Tevinter, they're chattel slaves and worse, fuel for blood magic without a thought? The world where in the "civilised", slaveless nations to the south, they're either confined to alienages and subjected to repeated genocide (that's what a "purge" is, if anyone isn't clear on that) or the remnants of the Dales, who are the descendents of another enormous genocide? The world where elven magic has been pillaged but elven mages in human settlements are confined to Circles and abused or made tranquil or also genocided by Templars invoking the Rite of Annulment? The world where they're called "elf savage" and "rabbit" and "knife ear" and cannot participate in Thedosian religious life because the Chantry erases every instance of elves from even the Chant of Light? The world where it took the Inquisitor installing a perpetrator of genocide on the Orlesian throne (both Celene AND Gaspard fit this bill) and either having Celene reconcile with Briala (Briala and Celene's relationship could be a whole other post. Boak.) and blackmailing them to give a single elf lands and a title? That world????

What the fuck, Mythal, die faster.

I got real mad there for a second. I'm fine. I'm fine!

Solas, once more, simply says, "I must fix what I have broken. I am sorry."

More than she deserves, frankly. Man's a mess, but at least he tries. She's been chilling in a swamp and pulling puppet strings for ages and abusing her kids. Nudging history like it's some sort of hobby, because it has always just been pieces on a board to her. They have never been people in her eyes like they are in his.

"As am I, old friend."

Aye, get tae fuck. Friends don't treat friends the way you treated Solas. The closest thing to an apology Solas will ever get from her is that she pretty much just lies down and dies when he comes to kill her. And she still won't set him free before he does. Has to continue to twist her own knife.

This scene has me riled.

And this takes us back to the beginning of this post.

To her essence showing up to release him from her service.

In what is, to me, the least accountable, bare minimum non-apology (she never actually says she's sorry) I've had the displeasure to witness in a videogame, with Solas literally cowering before her and offering her a knife to kill him with since this is the first time he's seen her actual, non-Flemythal face since she died.

This was never a friendship of equals. Ever.

She got one thing right. She did break him. But she knew it all this time, and she never took a single step to put it right until pushed. Her corner of the Crossroads, which he built for her in the desperate hope that she would show a glimmer of the friend he believed she was, notably has a pair of wolf statues. Both beheaded.

She's spent all this time punishing him further.

He never went to visit her? I wouldn't either. I could not blame him.

This has gone to an angry place. So let's conclude with what is, I think, the entire point.

Grace.

"I lied. I betrayed you."

"I forgive you."

Has anyone--anyone--in all his long life, ever said those words to him?

I'll say that again: has anyone--ANYONE--in all his millennia of existence, EVER said those words to him?

I forgive you.

Mythal certainly didn't.

The world certainly didn't.

He has shouldered all the blame of an entire pantheon, a war that broke the world, a blight, everything, always, and while people have come alongside him to help him, I am not sure anyone (certainly not anyone he cares about) has given him the grace of forgiveness.

The beauty of this final scene for me wasn't just Ilaana, wasn't just Ilaana reuniting with the man she has loved for a decade who has spent all that time pushing her away so he couldn't--in his mind--inevitably poison the love of the only person who has seen his spirit and cherished it without twisting him.

It was the slow realisation that Rook trusted his love enough to try.

It was Morrigan, who carries all Mythal's memories and her own of Flemythal's abuse and machinations, who responds to Rook's question about her views of Solas with: "Or do you mean to discover if I would stand directly against the Dread Wolf, were there a need? I shall aid you in any way but that. What has passed between Solas and Mythal...I beg you: do not ask this of me again."

Morrigan knows. She will not raise a hand against him. She will not try to stop him. She will let the veil fall. She will not fight with Rook. Because she knows this being whose memories she holds has harmed him enough.

Solas, in these final moments, even before Mythal shows up to gut punch him, realises all these people have somehow, somehow, banded together to help him.

Not work for him.

Not be his agents.

Not worship him.

Not follow him blindly.

To help him. To help Solas. To help him, after all this time, take the first steps towards himself. Towards his own essence, so long twisted into something he never sought or wanted.

The Inquisitor and Morrigan certainly understand what it's like to be seen only as the symbol others raise in your image. Rook will learn that someday, but is still naive.

But even with that naivete, willing. Present. Able to put aside being a chess piece on his board. Able to see that they would never have succeeded without his help. Able to trust two people who know him better than they ever will.

Able to offer him grace.

And when they produce Mythal's essence, how that must brutalise him; to think that perhaps all this has been to let his abuser kill him back. He clearly thinks that's what's happening. He breaks. He fawns. He offers her the blade that has caused so much pain.

Her release of him is the bare minimum she owes him. I've already railed about that.

What is transcendent here, transformative--it is the mortals.

The mortals offering grace to a god who never wanted to be a god.

It's them together showing him a way out of an endless cycle of trauma and abuse. No one of them alone is enough. Without Rook, they wouldn't have Mythal's essence; Morrigan can't go get it, and she can't do what is needed because she's not actually Mythal, only has her memories. Without Morrigan, who can stand there with those memories but from the compassionate perspective of someone who has watched them in horror from the outside. She's far from objective, but she can do this one thing to help.

Without the Inquisitor (romanced or not, still someone he let know him as he most desperately wanted to be known--the Fade-walker, the Dreamer, the humble mage who desperately needed a friend). The Inquisitor, who kneels before him to comfort him. Who sees his hurt and responds.

If romanced, without Lavellan, who kneels to repeat back words he once shouted at the Nightmare in the Fade after Adamant.

"Dirth ma, harellan. Ma banal enasalin. Mar solas ema mar din." (Speak, traitor. Your victory was fruitless. Your pride gives way only to your death.)

To which Solas replied, "Banal nadas."

On the surface, nothing is inevitable, but can also be taken to mean that nothingness is inevitable, entropy, the final void. (Thanks to Dumped, Drunk, and Dalish for this excellent long post on this scene.)

And here is Lavellan, kneeling beside him with those words. "Banal nadas ar lath, ma vhenan."

Nothing is inevitable but the love we share, my heart.

I see everything you are, all you have done, and I love you. I forgive you for the pain you have caused me. I understand, see, and forgive.

No one has ever shown him grace like this.

Ever.

And Solas, this shattered man, sobs.

He sobs.

Someone has taken the trouble to isolate his voice in the video. This man has nothing left. And, after millennia of this trauma cycle repeating over and over, he is finally free to make the choice he wants to make. It's not the outcome he wants; that has to be said. He doesn't want to leave the veil up. He doesn't want to be bound into prison forever with no hope of seeing the world he fought for ever return.

But he is done.

In the Fade after Adamant, there is a cemetery with the worst fears of every companion scriven on shrines and stones. Solas's is dying alone.

After all of this, he is willing to face just that--and would, if not for her.

She knows his deepest fears. She has faced the demon Mythal made of the man she loves. She has given unwitting comfort to the spirit of Wisdom still within. She has seen his sweetest self. Nurtured him, cherished him, and has been nurtured and cherished in return.

Does she want to leave the world behind and spend eternity in a Fade prison? Probably not her first choice. It's not my Ilaana's; she has been on his side all this time, dreaming of a world where the spirits she loves can be reunited with the world in peace and ready to make that happen.

But it was not supposed to happen this way. It did happen this way anyway.

He has sacrificed everything--everything--including his own spirit self, his soul, his life. How could she not offer him what no one ever has? A friend forever, a lover willing to walk the din'an shiral by his side, a companion to ward off the forever alone.

Together, the two of them can begin to heal, with their counterpart who has always seen through the burdens of the world to the soul within.

This is the only thing I've ever had any faith in. Grace I know you carry us Grace And it was such a mess Grace I don't say it enough Grace You are so loved

[esotericalchemist]

𝐀𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐭: 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐃𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐞𝐫 𝐉𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐄𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐑𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐒𝐢𝐠𝐧 ☽˚｡⋆.

Masterlist - YouTube (subliminals)

The rising sign in astrology represents the lens through which we view the world and the role we are meant to play in it. It is the path we walk, guiding how we navigate life’s challenges and opportunities. Each Ascendant reveals unique lessons around identity, purpose, and self-expression, pushing us to evolve beyond surface-level appearances. While the rising sign shapes our external persona, its deeper influence lies in the soul’s journey toward greater self-awareness and growth. Understanding your rising sign uncovers the hidden themes of your life, offering insight into how you can align your personal power with your soul’s purpose.

𝐀𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐀𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐭

If you’re born with an Aries Ascendant (or Rising sign), your soul’s journey revolves around mastering the art of initiation, courage, and self-leadership. As the first sign of the zodiac, Aries rising invites you to be a trailblazer, carving out your unique path. But the deeper lesson isn’t just about boldness or pioneering—it's about learning to direct your fiery, primal energy into purposeful, conscious action.

The Ascendant represents the life path you’re destined to walk, the persona you present to the world, and the first impressions you leave behind. With Aries rising, your approach to life is direct, assertive, and often fueled by a sense of urgency. However, beneath the surface, the true lesson for Aries Ascendant is not simply about pushing ahead with sheer force. It’s about mastering the wisdom of restraint—knowing when to act and when to pull back, reflect, and allow things to unfold. Courage, for you, isn’t always about charging forward; it also lies in standing still, surrendering control, and trusting the process.

On a soul level, Aries Ascendant is learning the delicate balance between independence and interdependence. While you’re meant to express your individuality and trust your instincts, your journey often brings challenges that teach you to consider the needs and perspectives of others. Many Aries rising souls come into this world with a karmic imprint of defending themselves or proving their strength, only to discover that true strength lies within, not in external validation.

The Deeper Path of Aries Ascendant

Embracing Self-Leadership: You are here to lead by example, but true leadership inspires others, not controls them. Your challenge is to balance your fierce independence with empathy, learning that influence comes through inspiring, not overpowering.

Mastering Impulse and Patience: While your nature drives you to act swiftly, the real power comes from learning to pause. Patience becomes your greatest ally as you refine how and when to channel your fiery energy.

Understanding the Self through Challenges: Life may feel like a series of battles, but wisdom comes from discerning which ones matter. Growth arises when you learn when to push forward and when to let go, realizing that not every conflict is worth engaging.

Initiation and New Beginnings: You excel at starting new ventures, but your journey is about seeing them through. A key lesson is learning to stay committed to projects and relationships, even when the initial excitement fades.

Developing Emotional Maturity: Acting on emotion comes easily, but you’re learning that true strength is found in emotional wisdom. Responding thoughtfully, rather than reacting impulsively, is the key to personal growth and empowerment.

Learning to Work with Others: Though independence is your cornerstone, collaboration will teach you invaluable lessons in balance. Engaging with others doesn’t mean losing yourself—it enriches your growth and deepens your understanding of shared purpose.

Healing the Wounded Warrior: You might feel the need to constantly defend yourself, but healing arrives when you let down your guard. True power isn’t found in endless battles; it’s discovered in cultivating inner peace.

Learning about Boundaries and Balance: Knowing when to forge ahead and when to step back is crucial. Your path is about striking a balance between action and rest, independence and connection, intensity and calm.

The Soul’s Path of Aries Ascendant

Aries Ascendant souls are here to embody courage, but not in the way it’s traditionally defined. Your journey is about discovering that courage goes beyond charging into battle or proving your strength. It’s about showing up as your authentic self, facing your fears, and stepping confidently into the unknown. You are here to explore self-discovery, leadership, and the impact your actions have on the world.

In this lifetime, you’re being called to balance your warrior spirit with wisdom, your fierce independence with meaningful connection, and your impulsiveness with patient reflection. The deeper lesson for Aries Ascendant is that true leadership comes from within, and the most powerful battles are often the ones fought in the heart.

This is the path of Aries Ascendant—full of fire, passion, and initiation, but ultimately guiding you toward a more evolved expression of personal power and authentic selfhood.

𝐓𝐚𝐮𝐫𝐮𝐬 𝐀𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐭

With Taurus as your Ascendant, your soul’s journey centers on mastering stability, self-worth, and building something enduring. Ruled by Venus, Taurus rising gifts you with an appreciation for beauty, comfort, and the material world. Yet, the deeper lesson for this Ascendant lies in understanding how to balance your innate desire for security with the need for personal growth. While Taurus Ascendant individuals often seek peace and simplicity, their true path involves learning to embrace change without sacrificing their inner grounding.

The Ascendant represents your approach to life, the energy you project, and the path you are destined to walk. As a Taurus rising, you move through life with steady determination, always seeking to build security and foster an environment of peace. However, the challenge with this sign is recognizing that true security doesn’t come from material possessions or external comforts—it resides within. You are here to cultivate a deep sense of inner worth and stability that transcends the physical realm.

Taurus Ascendant people come into this life to confront their relationship with value—both in terms of self-worth and their connection to material success. There is often a karmic lesson in releasing rigidity and embracing flexibility. Clinging too tightly to comfort and familiarity can prevent true growth. Ultimately, your journey is about creating something lasting—whether that’s a legacy, a relationship, or a profound sense of self. Yet, knowing when to let go is as vital as knowing when to hold on.

The Deeper Path of Taurus Ascendant:

Building Inner Security: You are here to discover that true security is born from within. Developing a strong sense of self-worth and inner peace is a fundamental part of your soul’s journey.

Embracing Change: Though you naturally value stability, life often calls you to embrace change. Flexibility is your greatest opportunity for growth, allowing you to evolve while maintaining your grounding.

Learning Patience and Persistence: Your nature is steady and patient, but your lesson is in discerning when persistence serves you and when it keeps you stuck. Finding balance between patience and progress is key.

Exploring Self-Worth Beyond Material Success: While you may seek comfort through material possessions or accomplishments, your deeper journey involves learning that true value stems from self-acceptance, not external achievements.

Mastering the Art of Letting Go: Taurus rising often clings to what is familiar, but you are here to understand the power of release. Letting go of attachments opens the door to greater abundance and inner peace.

Connecting to Earth and Body: With a strong connection to the physical world, you are learning to balance indulgence with discipline. Grounding yourself in nature and maintaining your physical well-being supports your spiritual growth.

Balancing Pleasure and Responsibility: While you find joy in life’s pleasures, your path involves learning to balance enjoyment with duty. True fulfillment comes from integrating both pleasure and purpose, savoring life while honoring your commitments.

Developing Emotional Resilience: Although you prefer emotional stability, life will challenge you to cultivate inner resilience. Facing emotional tests builds lasting strength and helps you navigate life's ups and downs with grace.

The Soul’s Path of Taurus Ascendant:

As a Taurus rising, your soul’s journey is about building a strong and lasting foundation—one capable of weathering life’s inevitable changes. While you are driven to create security, comfort, and stability, the deeper lesson is that true security must come from within, not from external accomplishments or possessions. You are learning to embrace change without losing your sense of grounding and to balance your desire for peace with the courage to grow and evolve.

Your path is one of patience, persistence, and understanding the true value of what matters. While Taurus energy moves at a slow and steady pace, you are also learning that sometimes you must release what no longer serves you in order to make room for greater opportunities. The essence of Taurus Ascendant lies in recognizing that lasting security is an inner state, not defined by external conditions, but by the strong, self-assured foundation you build over time.

𝐆𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐢 𝐀𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐭

If you’re born with Gemini as your Ascendant, your soul’s journey revolves around mastering communication, adaptability, and intellectual exploration. Ruled by Mercury, Gemini rising imbues you with a boundless curiosity and a deep desire to understand the world. Your path is one of constant learning, gathering knowledge, and forming connections. However, the deeper lesson of Gemini Ascendant isn’t just about acquiring information but learning how to integrate that knowledge meaningfully and discovering your own truth amid the flood of endless possibilities.

As a Gemini rising, you approach life with a flexible, versatile mindset, always seeking new experiences and perspectives. Your natural talent lies in connecting with others through conversation, ideas, and social engagement. However, your challenge is learning how to ground yourself and find focus amid the myriad of interests and possibilities that captivate you. While your adaptability is a gift, your true growth comes from channeling your mental energy toward something that carries real meaning and depth.

On a soul level, Gemini rising individuals are here to learn how to balance their mental agility with emotional depth and consistency. While you excel at seeing multiple perspectives, your challenge is staying true to your own voice without being overly swayed by external opinions or influences. Gemini Ascendant souls often come into this life with a karmic need to develop focus and discernment, understanding that not every path is meant to be explored, and not every connection is meant to endure.

The Deeper Path of Gemini Ascendant:

Mastering Communication: Your journey involves using your natural gift for communication to forge meaningful connections. The challenge is learning to communicate with depth and sincerity, rather than skimming the surface.

Finding Focus Amid Variety: While you thrive on variety, your soul’s evolution comes from focusing your mental energy. You’re here to learn that depth, rather than breadth, often brings the most lasting growth.

Balancing Logic and Emotion: Though you may lean heavily on logic, your deeper lesson is about harmonizing intellect with emotion. True wisdom lies in balancing both the heart and the mind.

Learning to Commit: You’re energized by change, but the deeper challenge is learning to commit—whether to relationships, projects, or ideas. You’re here to stay with things long enough to see them fully bloom.

Discovering Inner Truth: With so many perspectives and ideas swirling around you, your path involves uncovering what resonates as true for you. Your journey isn’t just about absorbing information but integrating it in a way that aligns with your inner essence.

Embracing Stillness and Reflection: Though you prefer motion and mental stimulation, your growth lies in embracing moments of stillness. Reflection gives you the clarity to process and integrate your diverse experiences.

Understanding the Power of Words: You’re quick-witted and articulate, but part of your journey is realizing the true impact of your words. Words can heal or harm, and you’re here to use them consciously and with intention.

Learning to Ground Mental Energy: Your mind is constantly active, but your soul’s lesson is about grounding this mental energy. Cultivating practices that center and calm your mind will help you stay focused and present in the moment.

The Soul’s Path of Gemini Ascendant:

As a Gemini rising, your soul’s path is one of exploration—of ideas, experiences, and human connections. While your curiosity drives you to explore new horizons, the deeper journey is about focusing your energy and translating what you learn into something meaningful. You’re here to master the balance between your quick, adaptive mind and the emotional depths that anchor you, understanding that true wisdom is not just found in facts but in the meaning you derive from your experiences and connections.

Your journey also teaches you the immense power of words and communication—not just as a tool for gathering knowledge, but as a force for creating understanding and fostering healing. As you grow, you will learn to use your adaptability not as a way to avoid commitment but as a means to gracefully navigate life’s complexities. The essence of Gemini Ascendant is about mastering the art of connection, both with others and within yourself, so you can move through life with purpose and clarity.

𝐂𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐀𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐭

If you’re born with Cancer as your Ascendant, your soul’s journey centers on mastering emotional depth, nurturing, and creating a sense of belonging. Ruled by the Moon, Cancer rising connects you deeply to your emotional world, family, and home. Your approach to life is sensitive, intuitive, and driven by a desire for emotional security. However, the deeper lesson of Cancer Ascendant isn’t solely about protecting your emotions—it’s about learning how to nurture without losing yourself. Your soul’s path is to cultivate security from within, rather than depending entirely on external circumstances for comfort.

With Cancer rising, you instinctively care for others and form strong emotional bonds, but the key to your growth is finding balance. You must learn how to protect your own energy while offering support, recognizing that boundaries are necessary to sustain your emotional well-being. This placement highlights not just emotional sensitivity but the need to develop resilience and to navigate the ebb and flow of life’s emotional tides.

On a soul level, Cancer Ascendant people are here to confront their relationship with vulnerability, family patterns, and emotional security. You may come into this life with unresolved emotional experiences from the past, making it essential to explore and heal your deeper emotional self. Your challenge is learning how to embrace vulnerability without becoming overly defensive or retreating into self-protection. As you progress on this journey, you’ll discover that true emotional security is cultivated within, not through external validation or control.

The Deeper Path of Cancer Ascendant:

Emotional Mastery: Your journey is about balancing emotional sensitivity with resilience. You’re here to understand that vulnerability is not a weakness but a source of strength when approached mindfully.

Creating Inner Security: While you seek comfort in relationships and family, the deeper lesson lies in developing emotional security within yourself. No external source can truly provide the lasting security you desire.

Balancing Nurturing with Boundaries: You have a natural instinct to care for others, but your path involves learning to set boundaries. Saying no when necessary is key to preserving your emotional energy and well-being.

Healing Family Patterns: You may carry emotional imprints from family or even past lives. Part of your journey is to heal these patterns and create a healthier emotional legacy for yourself and future generations.

Trusting Intuition: Cancer rising blesses you with strong intuitive abilities. You’re here to learn how to trust and follow your inner guidance, using it to navigate challenges and safeguard your emotional well-being.

Learning to Flow with Change: Ruled by the ever-changing Moon, you’re here to embrace life’s natural cycles and transitions. Learning to release emotional attachments that no longer serve you is essential for growth.

Embracing Vulnerability: While you may feel the need to protect your heart, your deeper journey is about being open. True intimacy comes when you allow yourself to be vulnerable and trust in the process.

Caring for Yourself as You Care for Others: You are naturally a caregiver, but part of your lesson is learning to nurture yourself. True caregiving starts with self-care, and you must nourish your own emotional needs before giving to others.

The Soul’s Path of Cancer Ascendant:

As a Cancer rising, your soul’s path is deeply intertwined with emotions, family ties, and the quest for security. However, your greatest growth comes from realizing that true security comes from within. You are here to master the art of nurturing—not just for others but for yourself as well—while maintaining healthy emotional boundaries. While you may feel deeply connected to your roots and family, your evolution depends on healing past emotional wounds and breaking free from patterns that no longer serve you.

Your journey is one of emotional mastery. It’s not about avoiding your feelings but about fully embracing them and understanding their impact on your life and relationships. As you grow, you’ll come to realize that true strength lies in emotional openness and resilience, not in hiding behind protective walls. The essence of Cancer Ascendant is about building a foundation of inner security, allowing you to nurture both yourself and others from a place of emotional wholeness.

𝐋𝐞𝐨 𝐀𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐭

If you’re born with Leo as your Ascendant, your soul’s journey is about embracing self-expression, leadership, and discovering your unique personal power. Ruled by the Sun, Leo rising grants you a magnetic presence, a strong need for creative expression, and a drive to leave your mark on the world. However, the deeper lesson of Leo Ascendant isn’t simply about seeking attention or standing in the spotlight—it’s about finding authenticity and purpose in the way you shine. You are here to explore your inner light, not for external validation, but to honor your true self.

As a Leo rising, you approach life with boldness and confidence that can inspire others, but your journey also involves learning humility. Your soul’s path includes balancing your innate charisma with self-awareness and leading without overpowering. While you are naturally drawn to leadership roles, the deeper lesson is understanding that true leadership comes from empowering others, not just yourself. You are here to learn how to lead with heart, using your talents to uplift those around you, rather than seeking control or approval.

On a soul level, Leo Ascendant individuals are here to explore their relationship with ego, self-worth, and how they define success. You may come into this life with lessons around self-importance, learning that true greatness is measured not by external achievements, but by the depth of your authenticity and your ability to inspire others. The challenges you face will push you to move beyond superficial validation and into a deeper understanding of what it means to be truly seen for who you are.

The Deeper Path of Leo Ascendant:

Embracing Authentic Self-Expression: You’re here to fully express yourself, but the key lesson is about authenticity. True self-expression comes from the heart, not from a need for approval or validation.

Balancing Ego and Humility: While you naturally seek recognition, your path involves balancing confidence with humility. True leadership isn’t about always being in the spotlight—it’s about empowering others and lifting them up.

Discovering Inner Confidence: Leo Ascendant teaches you to find confidence from within. External validation can be fleeting, but real strength comes from knowing your worth, regardless of others’ opinions.

Learning the Art of Leadership: You are destined to lead, but authentic leadership involves inspiring others to reach their potential. Your challenge is to lead without overshadowing or dominating those around you.

Tapping into Creative Power: You are a natural creator, but your journey is about using your creative energy for a purpose greater than yourself. You’re here to create not just for attention, but to leave a meaningful impact.

Facing the Fear of Rejection: As a Leo rising, you may fear not being seen or appreciated. Your path involves learning that rejection doesn’t diminish your worth—it’s part of the growth process and helps you develop resilience.

Letting Go of Superficial Validation: While admiration energizes you, your deeper lesson is finding fulfillment beyond external praise. True recognition comes from being true to yourself, not from performing for others.

Leading with the Heart: Leo Ascendant teaches that true power comes from the heart. You’re here to learn how to lead with compassion and authenticity, using your gifts to inspire and uplift others.

The Soul’s Path of Leo Ascendant:

As a Leo rising, your soul’s journey centers on personal empowerment, creativity, and learning how to shine in an authentic way. While you are naturally drawn to leadership and recognition, your deeper lesson is about using your gifts to inspire others rather than seeking approval. You’re here to embrace your inner light, learning that true greatness comes not from external achievements but from living with integrity and heart-centered purpose.

Your path is about discovering what makes you truly unique and expressing it boldly. However, the challenge lies in balancing this self-expression with humility and service to others. As you grow, you’ll learn that being seen isn’t just about standing out—it’s about connecting with others through authenticity, inspiring them to find their own light. The essence of Leo Ascendant is leading with love, creativity, and a deep understanding that your true power comes from the heart, not the ego.

𝐕𝐢𝐫𝐠𝐨 𝐀𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐭

If you’re born with Virgo as your Ascendant, your soul’s journey revolves around mastering the art of service, discernment, and self-improvement. Ruled by Mercury, Virgo rising gifts you with an analytical mind, a deep need for order, and a desire to refine both yourself and the world around you. However, the deeper lesson of Virgo Ascendant isn’t about striving for perfection—it’s about embracing imperfections in both yourself and others, while still working toward improvement. You are here to develop the skill of discernment over criticism, learning to balance your drive for excellence with compassion and acceptance.

As a Virgo rising, you approach life with responsibility and practicality, always seeking ways to improve, organize, and serve. Yet, your journey also involves understanding that true service comes from a place of humility and self-compassion. While you often seek control through routines and structure, your path teaches that life’s greatest growth comes from adapting to change and embracing the inevitable messiness. The challenge is to realize that not everything can be perfected or fixed—acceptance is just as important as improvement.

On a soul level, Virgo Ascendant individuals are here to explore their relationship with control, health, and their need to feel useful. You may enter this life with a strong sense of duty and a desire to prove your worth through productivity. However, the deeper lesson is that your value doesn’t stem from how much you do or how perfect you are, but from living your life authentically. Learning to let go of the constant need for improvement and finding peace in simply being is a key part of your growth.

The Deeper Path of Virgo Ascendant:

Embracing Imperfection: You’re here to improve both yourself and others, but your deeper lesson is to accept imperfection. True growth occurs when you understand that flaws are an essential part of the journey.

Balancing Service with Self-Care: As a Virgo rising, you naturally focus on serving others, but the deeper challenge is learning to care for yourself as well. Balance is essential—you can’t pour from an empty cup.

Letting Go of Over-Control: While order and routines help you feel secure, your path involves learning to adapt. True mastery lies in flexibility, not rigidity.

Learning to Trust the Process: You are analytical and often seek the “right” way to do things, but your journey involves trusting that not everything can be planned or perfected. Let life unfold as it’s meant to.

Developing Emotional Intelligence: While Virgo rising tends to focus on practical matters, your deeper lesson is developing emotional intelligence. Balancing logic with empathy and intuition is key to your growth.

Transforming Criticism into Discernment: You have a keen eye for detail, but your growth involves using discernment rather than criticism. Your insights are meant to uplift and heal, not to judge or hurt.

Healing the Need for Perfection: Virgo rising often feels pressured to be perfect, but your journey is about releasing that burden. Your value comes not from what you do, but from who you are at your core.

Finding Meaning in Service: You are drawn to helping others, but true service comes from the heart, not obligation. The deeper lesson is to serve with love and find joy in uplifting others.

The Soul’s Path of Virgo Ascendant:

As a Virgo rising, your soul’s journey is about refining your ability to serve, improve, and discern, but it also challenges you to balance this with self-acceptance. While you are naturally inclined to seek perfection, your deeper lesson is embracing the imperfections that make life real and meaningful. You are here to master the art of service, not through judgment or criticism, but through humility and compassion.

Your path involves learning to trust the process, understanding that not everything can be controlled or perfected. As you grow, you will find that true peace comes from accepting yourself and others as they are, while still striving for personal and spiritual growth. The essence of Virgo Ascendant is about healing and service, using your analytical gifts to better the world, but always with an open heart and a sense of inner peace.

𝐋𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚 𝐀𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐭

If you’re born with Libra as your Ascendant, your soul’s journey centers around mastering balance, relationships, and the art of harmonious connection. Ruled by Venus, Libra rising endows you with natural grace, charm, and an innate desire for peace and beauty. While Libra rising is often seen as diplomatic and cooperative, the deeper lesson of this Ascendant goes beyond maintaining harmony with others—it’s about finding true balance within yourself. You’re here to learn that harmony begins inside, and that relationships flourish when you honor your own needs just as much as those of others.

As a Libra rising, you instinctively seek fairness and equality, always mindful of how your actions affect those around you. However, your journey also requires learning how to assert your individuality without losing yourself in the pursuit of keeping the peace. The path for Libra Ascendant involves integrating the self with others, balancing giving and receiving, and understanding that sometimes conflict is necessary for growth. This rising sign challenges you to cultivate inner equilibrium, so you can navigate life with poise while not relying on external validation or approval.

On a soul level, Libra Ascendant individuals come into this life with lessons around partnership, self-worth, and decision-making. You may struggle with indecision, trying to please everyone, but your deeper growth comes from learning to make choices that reflect your true values. Libra rising is about mastering the art of relationships—not just in romance, but in all interactions—by learning to assert your needs without fear of disrupting the peace. Ultimately, you are here to explore the dynamic interplay between self and others, creating harmony through authentic, balanced connections.

The Deeper Path of Libra Ascendant:

Learning to Balance Self and Others: You’re here to master the balance between your own needs and the needs of others. True harmony arises when you honor yourself while fostering genuine connections.

Cultivating Inner Peace: While you seek external harmony, your soul’s journey is about developing inner peace. External balance is a reflection of your internal state, and true peace comes from within.

Mastering the Art of Decision-Making: Libra rising often struggles with indecision, but your path involves learning to make choices with confidence. The deeper lesson is trusting yourself and standing firm in your values.

Embracing Conflict for Growth: Although you prefer peace, part of your journey is about accepting conflict as a catalyst for growth. Not all tension is negative—sometimes it’s necessary for deeper understanding and evolution.

Balancing Relationships and Independence: You thrive in relationships, but your growth lies in balancing partnership with independence. You are here to learn that you can be whole on your own, while still deeply connected to others.

Finding Authentic Expression: While you’re naturally diplomatic, your deeper lesson is to express your truth, even if it disrupts the harmony. Genuine relationships are built on authenticity, not just agreement.

Learning to Give and Receive: Libra rising tends to focus on giving, but your journey also involves learning to receive. You’re here to find balance between generosity and allowing yourself to accept support.

Developing Inner Confidence: While external validation may feel important, your path is about building inner confidence. You’ll learn that your worth isn’t determined by others’ approval but by your own sense of self.

The Soul’s Path of Libra Ascendant:

As a Libra rising, your soul’s journey revolves around balance—both in relationships and within yourself. You are here to master the art of connection, learning how to create harmonious interactions without sacrificing your individuality. While you’re naturally inclined to avoid conflict, the deeper lesson is recognizing that true peace sometimes requires difficult conversations or decisions. You’re learning to stand firm in your truth, even when it challenges the external harmony you cherish.

Your growth comes from embracing the complexities of relationships, understanding that balance doesn’t always mean compromise. Often, it means knowing when to assert yourself and when to yield. The essence of Libra Ascendant lies in finding harmony across all aspects of life, from relationships to personal values, while maintaining an authentic and confident sense of self. As you grow, you’ll discover that true beauty and peace come from within, and that the most meaningful connections are built on mutual respect, authenticity, and balance.

𝐒𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐩𝐢𝐨 𝐀𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐭

If you’re born with Scorpio as your Ascendant, your soul’s journey revolves around mastering the themes of transformation, power, and emotional depth. Ruled by Mars and Pluto, Scorpio rising brings intensity, magnetism, and a profound need to understand life’s mysteries. While often perceived as secretive, determined, and complex, the deeper lesson of Scorpio Ascendant is about navigating the cycles of life, death, and rebirth—both in literal and metaphorical terms. Your path is one of constant transformation, where you’re called to shed old identities, face your fears, and embrace the unknown.

As a Scorpio rising, you approach life with intensity and purpose, always seeking to go beyond surface-level experiences. Whether it’s in relationships, career, or personal growth, you are drawn to explore the depths. However, the challenge of this rising sign is learning to let go of control and trust the process of transformation. Often, you resist change out of fear of vulnerability or loss, but the real lesson here is that true power comes from surrender, not control. Your path involves facing your shadow, healing from past wounds, and emerging stronger, more empowered, and more authentic.

On a soul level, Scorpio Ascendant individuals are here to explore themes of power, control, intimacy, and trust. You may come into this life with karmic wounds related to betrayal, abandonment, or emotional trauma, making it essential to heal and transform these energies. Your lesson is to move through life with courage and emotional depth, rather than fear or mistrust. Ultimately, you’re here to discover the alchemy of transformation, using the challenges you face to evolve into a more resilient and powerful version of yourself.

The Deeper Path of Scorpio Ascendant:

Mastering Transformation: You’re here to experience cycles of change, growth, and rebirth. Embracing transformation, rather than resisting it, is key to your soul’s evolution.

Balancing Power and Vulnerability: While you crave control, your deeper lesson is that real power comes from vulnerability. Being open and emotionally honest makes you stronger, not weaker.

Learning to Trust: Trusting others can be difficult for you, but your path involves learning to trust both yourself and those around you. Healing past betrayals allows you to open up to deeper connections.

Facing Your Fears: Scorpio rising challenges you to confront your deepest fears—whether it’s fear of loss, betrayal, or emotional exposure. True growth comes from facing these fears head-on.

Healing Emotional Wounds: You carry intense emotional energy, but your journey is about healing past wounds instead of letting them define you. Emotional transformation is central to your path.

Mastering Intimacy: You crave deep, meaningful connections, but your lesson is to balance intimacy with personal freedom. True closeness comes when you let go of control and allow trust to build naturally.

Using Power Wisely: You have a magnetic presence and influence over others, but your soul’s lesson is to use your power responsibly. Manipulation or control will backfire—authentic empowerment is your goal.

Surrendering to Life’s Mysteries: Scorpio rising calls you to embrace life’s mysteries rather than trying to control every outcome. Trusting the process of life, and knowing when to surrender, is key to your growth.

The Soul’s Path of Scorpio Ascendant:

As a Scorpio rising, your soul’s path centers on deep emotional and spiritual transformation. You are here to master the cycles of death and rebirth—not just in a literal sense, but in how you handle change, loss, and personal evolution. While you naturally crave control and intensity, your true growth comes from learning to let go of fear and embrace vulnerability as a source of strength.

Your journey involves healing past wounds, facing your shadow self, and discovering that real power lies in surrender, not domination. As you evolve, you will learn to channel your emotional depth and intensity into meaningful transformation, both for yourself and others. The essence of Scorpio Ascendant is about rising from the ashes, continually transforming into a more empowered, authentic, and resilient version of yourself. True strength is found in vulnerability, and your path is one of embracing both the light and shadow aspects of life with courage.

𝐒𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐮𝐬 𝐀𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐭

If you’re born with Sagittarius as your Ascendant, your soul’s journey revolves around mastering freedom, exploration, and the pursuit of truth. Ruled by Jupiter, Sagittarius rising brings a natural optimism, a thirst for adventure, and an insatiable desire for knowledge. While this sign is often associated with wanderlust and philosophical exploration, the deeper lesson of Sagittarius Ascendant is about understanding that true freedom comes not just from external exploration, but from inner growth and wisdom. You’re here to expand your horizons and deepen your understanding of yourself and the world around you.

As a Sagittarius rising, you approach life with a sense of adventure, constantly seeking new experiences, cultures, and ideas. However, the challenge of this rising sign is learning to balance your desire for freedom with responsibility. While you may resist confinement and seek constant exploration, your deeper growth lies in recognizing that structure and commitment can be tools for deeper exploration rather than limitations. Your soul’s path is about discovering that true expansion comes from integrating life’s lessons and cultivating wisdom, not just seeking the next thrill.

On a soul level, Sagittarius Ascendant individuals come into this life with lessons around belief systems, truth, and personal growth. You may have a karmic need to break free from dogmatic thinking or rigid structures from past lives, pushing you to seek your own truth. However, the deeper challenge is to understand that freedom isn’t simply about escaping or rebelling—it’s about finding meaning and purpose in what you explore. Ultimately, your journey is about aligning your adventurous spirit with a deeper sense of purpose and inner wisdom.

The Deeper Path of Sagittarius Ascendant:

Seeking Inner and Outer Freedom: You’re here to explore the world, but the real lesson is discovering freedom within yourself. True liberation comes from personal growth and wisdom, not just external adventures.

Balancing Adventure with Responsibility: While you crave freedom, your journey involves balancing exploration with responsibility. Commitment, when aligned with your values, can deepen your experiences rather than limit them.

Discovering Personal Truth: You’re naturally drawn to philosophies and belief systems, but your deeper path is about finding your own truth. The lesson is to explore openly without clinging to rigid beliefs or dogma.

Facing Restlessness: Sagittarius rising often brings a sense of restlessness, constantly seeking new horizons. Your growth involves learning that true satisfaction comes from integrating your experiences, not just chasing the next adventure.

Cultivating Wisdom: Ruled by Jupiter, your journey is about expanding your mind and heart. True wisdom is gained not just by learning, but by applying that knowledge to create a meaningful and purposeful life.

Learning to Commit: You may resist commitment, fearing it will limit your freedom, but your deeper lesson is understanding that commitment can lead to deeper fulfillment. True freedom can coexist with dedication to a path, person, or idea.

Expanding Beyond the Self: While Sagittarius rising drives you toward personal growth, the greater lesson is about contributing to something larger than yourself. You’re here to use your wisdom and experiences to inspire and uplift others.

Balancing Idealism with Realism: You’re naturally optimistic, but your journey involves grounding your ideals in practical reality. True growth comes from aligning your grand visions with actionable steps and realistic goals.

The Soul’s Path of Sagittarius Ascendant:

As a Sagittarius rising, your soul’s journey is about seeking and expanding—both in terms of knowledge and experience, but also in spiritual growth. You are driven by a need to explore, learn, and discover, but the deeper lesson is finding a sense of inner freedom that transcends external circumstances. Your path involves balancing your desire for adventure with the wisdom gained from reflection and commitment.

You’re here to explore not only the physical world but also the realms of philosophy, spirituality, and personal growth. However, your growth comes from understanding that constant movement and external exploration aren’t always the answer. Sometimes, stillness, reflection, and deepening your understanding of life’s lessons bring the greatest expansion. The essence of Sagittarius Ascendant is about the pursuit of truth, meaning, and wisdom—using your experiences to live a life aligned with your highest ideals and values. Ultimately, your journey is about finding freedom in every aspect of life—mentally, spiritually, and emotionally—so you can inspire others to do the same.

𝐂𝐚𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐧 𝐀𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐭

If you’re born with Capricorn as your Ascendant, your soul’s journey revolves around mastering discipline, responsibility, and the path of self-mastery. Ruled by Saturn, Capricorn rising brings a strong sense of purpose, ambition, and a deep desire to build something lasting. While Capricorn is often associated with success and structure, the deeper lesson of this Ascendant involves learning to align your external achievements with inner values. You’re here to walk a path of steady progress, embracing patience, persistence, and the understanding that true mastery takes time.

As a Capricorn rising, you approach life with a pragmatic and grounded perspective, often driven by long-term goals and a sense of responsibility. However, the challenge is balancing your external ambitions with inner fulfillment. You may feel pressured to meet societal expectations or climb the ladder of success, but your deeper journey involves finding meaning in what you build. Capricorn Ascendant isn’t just about material success—it’s about creating something that reflects your soul’s purpose and inner integrity.

On a soul level, Capricorn Ascendant individuals come into this life with lessons around authority, responsibility, and self-worth. You may carry karmic imprints of feeling burdened by duty or a need to prove your worth through hard work. However, the deeper lesson is understanding that true success isn’t defined by external validation—it’s about achieving inner mastery. You are here to take responsibility for your life, while also realizing that rest, emotional nourishment, and flexibility are vital to the journey.

The Deeper Path of Capricorn Ascendant:

Mastering Discipline and Patience: You’re here to build something lasting, but your lesson is understanding that real success takes time. Patience and consistent effort are crucial to your soul’s growth.

Balancing Ambition with Inner Fulfillment: While you strive for external success, your journey involves learning that true fulfillment comes from within. Aligning your goals with your deeper values is essential.

Letting Go of External Validation: Capricorn rising often feels the pressure to meet societal expectations, but your deeper lesson is learning that your worth isn’t defined by status or achievements.

Embracing Emotional Vulnerability: Though you project strength, your soul’s path involves learning to open up emotionally. True strength comes from vulnerability and allowing others to see your softer side.

Building a Legacy with Integrity: You are driven to create something meaningful, but the real lesson is about doing so with integrity. You’re here to build a legacy that reflects your inner values, not just external success.

Learning the Value of Rest: Capricorn Ascendant often pushes too hard, but your journey involves recognizing that rest is as important as work. Balance is essential for long-term success and well-being.

Taking Responsibility for Your Life: While you are naturally responsible, the deeper lesson is taking full ownership of your life’s direction. This involves letting go of blame and embracing your power to shape your destiny.

Transforming Fear of Failure: You may fear failure or struggle with self-doubt, but growth comes from understanding that mistakes are part of the journey. True mastery is built on resilience and learning from setbacks.

The Soul’s Path of Capricorn Ascendant:

As a Capricorn rising, your soul’s path centers on responsibility, perseverance, and the art of building something enduring. You are here to master discipline, but not at the expense of your emotional well-being. While you are naturally driven to achieve success in the material world, your deeper lesson is about aligning those achievements with your inner truth. You’re here to learn that true success isn’t measured by external accolades, but by the integrity, purpose, and fulfillment you find along the way.

Your journey involves learning to embrace vulnerability, rest, and emotional nourishment—understanding that these are essential for long-term success. Capricorn Ascendant teaches you that while hard work and ambition are important, balance is key. As you grow, you’ll realize that true mastery comes from building a life that reflects both your external goals and internal values, creating a legacy that is both meaningful and sustainable. Ultimately, the essence of Capricorn Ascendant is about walking the path of self-mastery, building something lasting, and achieving success that aligns with your soul’s purpose.

𝐀𝐪𝐮𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐮𝐬 𝐀𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐭

If you’re born with Aquarius as your Ascendant, your soul’s journey revolves around mastering individuality, social consciousness, and revolutionary thinking. Ruled by both Saturn and Uranus, Aquarius rising combines the discipline and structure of Saturn with the innovation and radical change of Uranus. While Aquarius is often seen as progressive, detached, and intellectual, the deeper lesson of this Ascendant involves balancing your unique vision with the need for meaningful connection. You’re here to push boundaries, challenge societal norms, and break free from outdated structures, but the real growth lies in using your individuality to uplift the collective.

As an Aquarius rising, you approach life with a strong sense of independence, often feeling like an outsider. You are driven by a desire to explore unconventional paths, question authority, and seek out new ideas. However, the challenge of this rising sign is learning how to maintain your individuality without isolating yourself emotionally. While freedom is important to you, your soul’s journey is about integrating your personal ideals into the larger collective. You’re here to learn how to use your visionary thinking to create meaningful change, both for yourself and society.

On a soul level, Aquarius Ascendant individuals come into this life with lessons around community, freedom, and innovation. You may struggle with balancing your desire for autonomy with the need for connection, often resisting conformity or traditional structures. However, the deeper lesson is that true freedom doesn’t come from rejecting all limitations—it comes from mastering the balance between independence and collaboration. You are here to revolutionize, but also to build meaningful relationships that honor both your individuality and the needs of others.

The Deeper Path of Aquarius Ascendant:

Embracing Individuality with Purpose: You’re here to be different, but the lesson is about using your uniqueness for a higher purpose. True individuality comes from aligning your personal vision with collective progress.

Balancing Freedom with Connection: While you crave independence, your growth involves learning to balance this with meaningful relationships. True freedom doesn’t come from isolation but from mutual respect and shared goals.

Learning to Lead with Vision: You’re a natural visionary, but your path is about leading in a way that inspires others. Your ideas are revolutionary, but you must ground them in reality to create lasting change.

Mastering Detachment and Emotion: Aquarius rising can lead to emotional detachment, but your journey is about learning when to engage emotionally. Progress comes from both intellect and heart.

Breaking Free from Old Structures: You’re driven to challenge the status quo, but the lesson is about doing so constructively. Revolution is necessary, but you’re here to replace outdated systems with something meaningful and sustainable.

Embracing Your Role in the Collective: While you’re fiercely independent, your growth comes from recognizing your place in the larger community. You’re here to uplift others with your ideas, not just stand apart.

Innovating with Integrity: You’re a natural innovator, but your deeper lesson is about using your ideas with responsibility. True progress comes from integrity and care for the greater good.

Finding Freedom Through Structure: While you resist restriction, you’ll learn that some structure is essential for long-term progress. True freedom comes from discipline, allowing your vision to take form.

The Soul’s Path of Aquarius Ascendant:

As an Aquarius rising, your soul’s path revolves around blending innovation with responsibility, individuality with community, and intellectual freedom with emotional connection. You are here to be a trailblazer, challenging conventional thinking and creating new paths for others to follow. However, your deeper lesson is learning that true progress isn’t just about breaking free from the old—it’s about building a new, more enlightened future that benefits everyone.

Your journey involves balancing your desire for personal freedom with the understanding that meaningful change comes from collaboration. You’re here to lead, but not from a place of detachment—instead, you’ll find your greatest strength comes from connecting with others and uplifting the collective with your unique vision. The essence of Aquarius Ascendant is about creating a new world, one where individuality and community coexist, where innovation serves humanity, and where freedom is found through the integration of personal and collective growth.

𝐏𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐀𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐭

If you’re born with Pisces as your Ascendant, your soul’s journey revolves around mastering compassion, spiritual growth, and the ability to transcend the material world. Ruled by Jupiter and Neptune, Pisces rising brings a natural connection to the unseen realms, deep sensitivity, and a desire for unity. While Pisces is often associated with dreaminess, creativity, and emotional depth, the deeper lesson of this Ascendant is about learning to navigate life’s illusions and emotional complexities. You’re here to cultivate inner wisdom, spiritual awareness, and the ability to merge with the collective consciousness, all while maintaining a strong sense of self.

As a Pisces rising, you approach life with fluidity and openness, often seeing beyond the surface and into the emotional or spiritual core of situations. However, the challenge of this rising sign is learning to balance your sensitivity with boundaries. Pisces Ascendant can blur the lines between self and others, making it easy to absorb the emotions and energies around you. Your path involves finding a way to serve and heal without losing yourself in the process. You are here to develop discernment, knowing when to give and when to protect your own energy, so you can stay connected to both the physical and spiritual worlds.

On a soul level, Pisces Ascendant individuals come into this life with lessons around compassion, service, and mastering emotional boundaries. You may feel drawn to escape the harshness of reality or struggle to ground yourself in the material world, but your deeper growth comes from learning to balance your spiritual sensitivity with practical action. Ultimately, you are here to bring your dreams and ideals into the world, using your innate compassion to inspire and heal while staying connected to your own truth.

The Deeper Path of Pisces Ascendant:

Balancing Sensitivity with Boundaries: You’re deeply empathetic, but your lesson is learning to protect your energy. Boundaries are essential to avoid emotional overwhelm and maintain your sense of self.

Learning to Ground Your Spirituality: You’re naturally connected to the spiritual realm, but your growth comes from grounding that energy in the material world. Your challenge is turning dreams into reality.

Mastering Emotional Discernment: While you’re deeply intuitive, part of your journey involves learning to discern between your own emotions and the energies you absorb from others. Clarity comes from emotional awareness.

Healing Through Compassion: Pisces rising gives you the gift of compassion, but you’re here to learn that true healing comes from balance. You can’t save everyone, and your journey involves understanding when to step back.

Navigating Life’s Illusions: You may be prone to seeing life through rose-colored glasses, but your soul’s growth involves facing reality without losing your optimism. The lesson is in balancing idealism with practicality.

Serving Without Sacrificing Yourself: You’re naturally inclined to serve others, but your deeper path is learning to give without losing yourself. True service requires self-care and personal boundaries.

Embracing the Unknown: Pisces Ascendant teaches you to flow with life’s uncertainties, embracing the unknown rather than fearing it. Your spiritual growth lies in surrendering to life’s mysteries.

Bringing Dreams into Reality: While you’re naturally idealistic, your soul’s journey is about manifesting those ideals in the physical world. You’re here to learn how to take your visions and make them tangible.

The Soul’s Path of Pisces Ascendant:

As a Pisces rising, your soul’s journey is about merging the spiritual with the material, using your deep sensitivity to heal and inspire those around you. You are here to master the balance between compassion and self-care, learning that true service comes from a place of strength, not sacrifice. While you may be tempted to escape the harsh realities of life, your deeper lesson is about embracing both the seen and unseen worlds, finding a way to bring your spiritual insights into practical form.

Your growth comes from learning to navigate life’s illusions, finding clarity amid the emotional and spiritual currents that surround you. As you evolve, you will discover that true fulfillment comes from turning your dreams into reality, using your gifts of empathy and intuition to uplift others while maintaining your own emotional and spiritual integrity. The essence of Pisces Ascendant is about transcending the ordinary, finding meaning in life’s mysteries, and sharing your compassion and wisdom with the world in a way that honors both your soul and the greater collective.

Masterlist - YouTube (subliminals)

[taurasiluvr]

SIZE KINKS WITH MY FAVORITES !

including . . . paige bueckers, diana taurasi, emily engstler & caitlin clark

how you can help palestine

 ⠀ ── ⠀warnings ;; nsfw under the cut, mdni. lesbian... sex, a lot of it lmao. fingering, praise, size kinks.

 ⠀ ── ⠀rylin's notes ;; requests are open for those who want to send them in :p also just wanted to add i tried making this as inclusive as possible, if you are plus-sized, let me know if this was good !! its never my intention to make anyone feel left out, my writing is for EVERYBODY (except men)

PAIGE BUECKERS (slight nsfw)

 ⠀ ── ⠀paige is taller than most people, standing at around 5"11'. all her previous partners were taller/around her height so once she'd began dating you, everything kind of shifted and she loved it. she likes to tease you about it a lot – and yes, she is the type to purposely put the mugs on the highest shelf so that you call her over – and with some convincing (she loves seeing you struggle on your tippy-toes, trying to reach), she'll come and help you.

however, not only does she love it – it turns her on exponentially. the way she could easily push you around and assert her dominance in small, playful ways became an undeniable part of your relationship. she adored the way you looked up at her with those wide eyes, the mixture of surprise and amusement whenever she effortlessly moved you out of the way or pinned you playfully against a wall.

paige found herself reveling in the power dynamic, her hands lingering on you a little longer, her touches a little more deliberate. the height difference allowed her to envelop you completely, to make you feel secure yet electrified by her presence. she loved how easily she could lift you, how her strength contrasted with your smaller frame, and how it made her feel in control yet deeply connected to you. every time you called for her help, whether it was to reach something or open a stubborn jar, she felt a thrill run through her. it was more than just the physical act; it was the way you relied on her, the way you trusted her to take care of you in those moments. that trust, that dependency, was intoxicating for paige.

she wouldn't call it a kink per say – more like an aspect of your relationship that added an extra layer of excitement and intimacy. she loved the way you looked at her when she teased you, the playful spark in your eyes that matched her own. it was a game you both played, one that kept the flame of your relationship burning bright. and while she wouldn't call it a kink (it for sure is), she couldn't deny how incredibly turned on she was by the way your dynamics played out.

“need some help, shorty?” she called out as she walked into the kitchen, leaning against the doorframe with that familiar, mischievous smirk.

you sighed dramatically, “you know, you could just put things where i can reach them.”

“but where’s the fun in that?” she teased, stepping closer.

she pressed herself against your back, reaching up effortlessly to grab the bowl. you felt her breath on your neck, and a shiver ran through you. she lingered, her body warm and solid against yours, and you could sense her enjoying the moment. her arm brushed against your side as she placed the bowl in your hands, and she didn't pull away immediately. instead, she stayed close, her fingers lightly tracing the line of your shoulder.

“you're too cute when you struggle,” she whispered, her lips brushing against your ear.

you turned around to face her, your heart racing. the playful glint in her eyes had shifted to something deeper, more intense. she looked down at you, her height making you feel both vulnerable and cherished.

“it's not fair,” you said softly, but your voice lacked any real protest.

paige smiled, her hands coming to rest on your hips. she leaned down, her forehead touching yours, and you felt her warmth envelop you.

“that's too bad cus i really enjoy it,” she murmured, her lips dangerously close to yours. you scoffed, shaking your head dramatically as she laughed.

you could feel the heat between you both, a magnetic pull that had your pulse quickening. she loved having this slight edge over you, the way it made you look up to her – both literally and figuratively. unable to resist any longer, she closed the distance, capturing your lips in a kiss that was both tender and fierce. you responded immediately as her arms wrapping around you, lifting you slightly off the ground, making you feel even smaller in her embrace. the kiss deepened, and you melted into her, your fingers tangling in her hair.

when she finally set you down, you were both breathless. paige's eyes were dark with desire, and she pressed her forehead against yours once more.

“you drive me crazy, you know that?” she whispered.

you smiled, your heart swelling with affection. “great. now, can we get back to making dinner? ’m starving.”

she laughed, a rich, joyful sound that made your heart soar. “only if you promise to keep needing my help with the high shelves.”

you nodded, a playful glint in your eye. “m’kay.”

DIANA TAURASI (nsfw)

 ⠀ ── ⠀she knew what she was getting herself into the moment she began dating you. unlike paige, she would (and has) admitted to having a shameless size kink. diana towers over almost everyone, being 6ft and all – but it really gets her going when it's you.

in bed, she never ever shys away from showing you not only how small you are compared to her – but how strong she is. diana's eyes gleam with anticipation as she playfully pins you down, her muscular frame effortlessly holding you in place. the contrast between her towering height and your smaller stature ignites a primal excitement in her. she loves the way you fit perfectly against her, the way she can envelop you with her body and make you feel both vulnerable and protected at the same time. diana takes immense pleasure in using her height and strength to her advantage, positioning you just where she wants you, lifting you effortlessly, and holding you in place with ease.

she's fiercely confident, and it shows in every movement. diana knows exactly how to play with the power dynamic, teasing you with her dominance while also ensuring you feel cherished. her touch is commanding, yet tender, and she enjoys exploring the boundaries of her strength and your responsiveness.

when she's not pinning you down, she enjoys playfully lifting you, carrying you around, or simply holding you close to her, making you feel small and cherished. diana's size and strength are constant reminders of her presence, and she loves the way you respond to her, the way you melt under her touch, the way your breath catches when she effortlessly moves you. and again, it turns her on in a way she can't even begin to explain.

diana's enjoyment of her size kink isn’t just physical; it's also deeply psychological. she loves the way you look at her with a mix of awe and desire, the way your body reacts to her dominance, the way you crave the unique dynamic you share. it's an intoxicating power play that she never tires of, of strength and submission that fuels her passion.

diana's eyes gleam with anticipation as she pins you down, her muscular frame effortlessly holding you in place. the contrast between her towering height and your smaller stature ignites a primal excitement in her.

“look at you,” she murmurs, her voice dripping with satisfaction. “so tiny beneath me.”

diana revels in this dynamic, the way you squirm under her dominance; it's a game she loves to play, and you're a willing participant.

she lifts you with ease, her hands gripping your waist as if you weigh nothing. you feel the heat of her breath against your skin as she whispers, “could hold you like this forever, princess.”

there's a possessive hunger in her eyes, a deep-seated desire to remind you of your place in her world. she seats you down on her lap as she spreads your legs, you could feel her breath fanning on your neck. she rubs your clothed pussy, earning a moan from your lips. her lips quirked up into an excited smirk as she watches your reaction.

“you like that, don’t you?” she teases, her voice low and husky. her fingers continue their relentless teasing, applying just the right amount of pressure to drive you wild. the friction, even through your clothes, sends waves of pleasure coursing through your body.

“such a good little thing for me,” she praises, her tone both affectionate and commanding. her free hand moves to your hip, holding you in place with a firm yet gentle grip. the intensity of her gaze never wavers, her eyes drinking in every expression that crosses your face.

she leans in closer, her lips brushing against your ear. “love how responsive you are,” she whispers, her breath hot against your skin. “every little sound you make, every shiver... it drives me crazy, baby.”

diana's hands grow bolder, one slipping under your shirt to caress your bare skin, the other continuing its tormenting touch. she revels in the way your body reacts to her, the way you arch into her touch, the soft gasps and moans that escape your lips.

“mine,” she murmurs possessively, her voice a mix of desire and adoration. “all mine.”

with each passing moment, the intensity between you builds, a potent mix of lust and intimacy that leaves you breathless. diana's dominance is unwavering, yet there's a tenderness in her touch that speaks volumes about her feelings for you.

her lips find yours in a searing kiss, full of passion and possessiveness. her hand moves faster, the pressure increasing, pushing you closer and closer to the edge. “wanna hear you, princess.” she demands softly, her voice a tantalizing whisper against your lips.

EMILY ENGSTLER (nsfw)

 ⠀ ── ⠀emily liked the fact she was much taller than you, but it wasn't until she finally slept with you when she realized how much it turned her on. in daily life, it was honestly just a plus for her – she loved holding your hips as she led you places, feeling the way you fit perfectly against her side.

she reveled in the little things, like reaching for items on high shelves for you or wrapping her long arm around your shoulders, pulling you close as you walked. it made her feel protective and strong, and she could see the appreciation in your eyes, the way you leaned into her touch. and like paige, she'd never call it a size kink even though... it for sure was.

but it was in the privacy of the bedroom where emily's height advantage truly came into play. the first time she had you beneath her, your smaller frame dwarfed by her own, she felt a surge of excitement that she hadn't anticipated. the sight of you looking up at her, wide-eyed and eager, was intoxicating – it got her wet beyond comprehension.

she loved the way you responded to her, the way you would shiver under her touch, your breath hitching as her hands explored your body. emily found herself becoming bolder, her confidence growing with each gasp and moan she elicited from you the more you guys fucked. she'd pin your wrists above your head, her grip firm but gentle, and savor the sight of you laid out beneath her, completely at her mercy.

emily's dominant side thrived on your willingness, your trust in her. she enjoyed the power play, the way she could effortlessly maneuver you into different positions, the way her strength made you feel both vulnerable and cherished. it was a thrilling dynamic, one that brought you both closer together.

outside the bedroom, her dominance was subtler but no less significant. she'd guide you with a hand on your lower back, steer you through crowds with ease, always keeping you close. the height difference was a constant reminder of the bond you shared, a dynamic that seeped into every aspect of your relationship.

"you're so beautiful," she murmured, her voice low and husky. "love how perfectly you fit with me."

with a fluid motion, emily lifted you effortlessly, placing you on the bed. you gazed up at her, feeling a familiar thrill as she towered over you, her presence both commanding and comforting. she straddled your waist, her long legs framing your body, and leaned down to kiss you, her lips capturing yours in a slow, passionate kiss that left you breathless.

she pulled back slightly, her eyes dark with desire. "you like it when i take control?" she asked, her voice a seductive whisper.

"yes," you breathed, your response immediate and sincere.

a smile curved her red lips as she pinned your wrists above your head, her grip firm but not painful. the weight of her body pressed against yours, a delicious reminder of her strength and dominance. she leaned in, her breath hot against your ear. "good," she whispered. "cus i love it too."

CAITLIN CLARK (nsfw)

 ⠀ ── ⠀caitlin never missed an opportunity to show you how small you are compared to her. whether it was easily pushing to the side or or lifting you up as if you weighed nothing, she reveled in the stark difference between your statures. it was a reminder of her strength and dominance, and you couldn't help but feel a thrill every time she did it.

caitlin's dominance showed in countless little ways, she loved wrapping an arm around your waist, guiding you through crowds with an ease that made you feel safe and protected. her height allowed her to effortlessly reach things on high shelves for you, a simple act that never failed to bring a smile to her face. she enjoyed playfully teasing you about your size, her comments always laced with affection.

caitlin's physicality was a constant presence, whether she was picking you up for a quick kiss or pulling you into her lap while watching a movie. she thrived on the power dynamic, finding joy in the way you responded to her strength. your smaller frame seemed to increase her confidence, making her feel both powerful and nurturing.

her protective nature extended beyond physical gestures. caitlin was always looking out for you, her sharp eyes and quick reflexes ensuring you were never in harm's way. she took pride in being your rock, someone you could rely on no matter the situation. this sense of security and trust deepened your bond, reinforcing the unique dynamic that defined your relationship.

in more intimate moments, caitlin's dominance took on a deeper, more intense form. she loved exploring the contrast between your bodies, the way her hands could easily envelop yours, her arms strong and reassuring around you. she loved watching your reactions, the way your breath hitched and your body shivered under her touch.

she placed you gently on the bed, her hands lingering on your hips as she leaned down to kiss you. the kiss was soft at first, but it quickly deepened, her lips moving against yours with a hunger that made your heart race.

caitlin pulled back, her eyes dark with desire as she looked down at you. "you're so perfect like this," she murmured, her hands sliding up your sides. "so small and delicate."

you shivered under her touch, the weight of her gaze making you feel both vulnerable and incredibly turned on. caitlin's hands were firm yet gentle as she pinned your wrists above your head, her body pressing against yours. the sensation of her strength holding you in place sent a wave of excitement through you.

"you like it when i take control, sweet girl?" she asked, her voice low and husky.

"yes," you breathed, your voice barely above a whisper.

a satisfied smile spread across caitlin's face as she leaned down to kiss your neck, her lips leaving a trail of faint hickies in their wake. her hands roamed your body, exploring every curve and contour with a possessive hunger. she loved the way you responded to her touch, the way your body arched and trembled beneath her.

"so fucking pretty," she whispered against your skin, her voice full of adoration. "all for me."

her words sent a shiver down your spine, and you couldn't help but moan softly in response. caitlin hands moved to your hips, gripping them firmly as she positioned herself between your legs. her fingers teased your entrance, you were practically dripping and caitlin loved it.

"so wet and i haven't even touched you yet, baby." she mumbled as she looked down at you, her lips quirked into a smirk.

her finger slipped into your sopping cunt as your head fell back in pure ecstasy. she added another finger, then another and you swore you've never felt more full in your life despite it just being her fingers.

"let go for me," she urged, her voice a soothing command. "wanna hear you."

with each thrust, the sensations built within you, your moans growing louder as you neared the edge. caitlin's touch was everywhere, her presence overwhelming and comforting all at once. you clung to her, your body responding to her in a way that was almost instinctual.

when you finally reached your peak, you cried out her name, your body shuddering with release. caitlin held you close, her strong arms wrapping around you as you came down from your high. she kissed your forehead, her lips gentle and tender against your skin.

"my sweet girl," she whispered, her voice filled with genuine affection. "i love you so much."

if you enjoyed, any interaction is greatly appreciated!

with love, rylin 𝜗𝜚

[girlkisser13]

being married to erik lehnsherr would include

• erik is EXTREMELY protective of you. he uses his powers subtly to ensure your safety, like redirecting bullets or stopping potential threats without you even noticing.

• when you’re driving he will use his powers to move a car over if he thinks that they’re drifting into your lane.

• as his partner, you have a significant role in his plans and strategies. your insights and ideas are crucial, and he trusts you implicitly with major decisions.

• balancing erik’s often ruthless methods with your own moral compass can be challenging. you constantly strive to find a middle ground, helping him see different perspectives while understanding his deep-rooted convictions.

• erik loves to shares his vast experiences from different historical events, giving you a unique perspective on history and the evolution of mutant-human relations.

• being with erik means constantly learning and evolving. he encourages you to hone your skills, whether they’re related to your powers (if you have any) or other talents.

• despite his tough exterior, erik shows his softer side only to you. his love for you is profound and unwavering, and he cherishes every moment spent with you.

• you both enjoy challenging each other intellectually. debates are a common occurrence, and they often end in mutual respect and deeper understanding of each other's viewpoints.

• erik shows his love in small, meaningful ways, like always having your favorite tea ready or ensuring you have a warm blanket when you’re cold, using his powers to fetch things without you asking.

• you both share a strong commitment to the mutant cause. whether it’s through activism, helping mutants in need, or fighting against oppression, your relationship is a powerful force for change.

• despite the constant battles and responsibilities, erik always makes time for private getaways with you. these retreats are a chance to relax, reconnect, and enjoy each other’s company away from the chaos.

• HIM LETTING YOU WEAR HIS HELMET>>>

• the two of you often host gatherings for the mutant community, providing a space for mutants to connect, share their stories, and support each other. these events are filled with a sense of unity and purpose.

• trust is the cornerstone of your relationship. despite the challenges and dangers, you both have unwavering loyalty to each other, knowing that your bond is unbreakable.

• erik respects your independence and ensures that responsibilities are shared equally. whether it’s managing your home or leading missions, you both contribute and support each other’s strengths.

• if you have children, erik is a fiercely protective and loving parent. he’s dedicated to teaching them about their heritage, powers, and the importance of fighting for their rights.

• GIRL DAD MAGNETO>>>

• i mean come on, it’s basically canon that this man is a girl dad. look at the way he treats wanda and lorna compared to pietro.

• he occasionally shows off his abilities in small, romantic gestures, like creating intricate metal sculptures for you and arranging a metal flower bouquet that never wilts.

• your house is adorned with thousands of metal flowers he's crafted for you.

• he's also made countless pieces of jewelry for you as well.

• he made your wedding ring himself. <33

[hexxedcore]

hii (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡ can i please request hcs for viktor x physically stronger fem partner? maybe their strength comes off as a surprise at first ♡

of course you can anon! i wasn’t sure if you meant nsfw hcs, but if you did ill gladly add them! 💕

SFW:

Viktor has an undeniable respect for you from the moment he meets you, but that’s especially amplified when he first sees you demonstrating your strength. Maybe it’s something as simplistic as fetching Jayce his Hextech hammer, but he is knocked out of the park nonetheless.

Despite being shocked “at first”, it never quite goes away. That’s not to say he doubts you or your strength; not at all! It’s more so that he forgets, and then he’ll watch you casually offer to carry the heap of study journals he has to the laboratory and he has a real oh moment.

With the evident strength comes a very powerful sense of security, especially for Viktor. Trust is a factor important in his relationships, and he doesn’t struggle with it when he’s around you one bit. While he doesn’t necessarily need active protecting, the fact that he won’t need it due to you is comforting.

As his health declines throughout Season One, you’ll probably be just about the one thing to come between him and his work. While it would be rare and few between, there would be instances where instead of spending sleepless nights in the lab slaving over the Hexcore, he would spend them beside you.

God forbid you find him passed out the lab like Jayce had — despite the exhaustion rattling his bones, Viktor would feel indebted to you. He would suffer from an unfathomable guilt; the fact that you had to see him like that, let alone run blocks to find an appropriate hospital for treatment.

[lymtw]

Satoru who is just so obsessed with you and actually becomes somewhat jealous when others make you laugh to the point where you're blushing. He's quick to misunderstand a situation when it comes to men getting overly comfortable with you. From what you understand, the jealousy doesn't run deep, but he does wonder sometimes—stupidly, if someone else will catch your eye and test your fidelity to him.

"How is it being with Gojo all the time? I get seeing him at work, but going home with him and spending all your time together...? It's got to be exhausting, no?"

This nobody doesn't even know Satoru. He's never gotten near him—never even spoken a word to him. It's infuriating that he even assumed you're exhausted from spending time with the person you the love the most, but you smile anyway, and respond as politely as you can.

"Satoru can be a handful at times, but that's one of the many things I love about him. He's funny, and even though sometimes he acts like he runs around without a brain, he is one of the smartest men I know. He takes care of me." You chuckle, recalling a warm, fond memory.

Satoru watches your conversation with the man from the bar on the other side of the room. He sees you smiling and nodding, and his heart starts beating faster. He understands that he has to keep his cool. What is he missing that you can find in someone else? You're with him for a reason, and you've never been one to hide things from him. There's no need to feel insecure.

He knows he can't stop you from talking with other people. You can interact with whoever you want because his jealousy isn't to be mistaken with control, but it's hard not to stay by your side all the time. You've never given him any reason to doubt the strength of your relationship, but he just doesn't trust other men around you. He knows men are dogs, chopping it up with any pretty girl with no regards to whether they're in a relationship or not. What he does know is that he wholeheartedly trusts you. You would let him know if someone was taking it too far, wouldn't you?

VS

Satoru who is so obsessed with you and content with the fact that you are almost always within arms reach of him. He feels so secure knowing he gets to leave work with you every day only to spend more time with you at home.

At night, you lay facing each other, one of your legs thrown over his hip and one of his hands running up and down your waist. You talk about insignificant things that result in significant memories. You whisper and giggle about the dumbest things, until your sentences don't make sense because of how tired both of you are. You cling onto him and tell him you love him, lazy kisses pressed to his lips with every cliffhanging word that is threatened by sleep.

On lazy Sunday afternoons, you lie in bed together watching scary movies. He knows the plots aren't real, and that the monsters and hideous things that appear aren't real either, but your fear of them is. He purposely chooses these movies because he knows you won't focus on them and turn to give him all the attention when you're too scared. Anything to distract you from the terrifying things that are seemingly about to pop out of the screen. While he pretends he's focusing on the movie, he grins as you begin to shower him with your affectionate kisses. One for his neck, one for his cheek, oh... there goes another one for his neck. He lays there, a few chuckles slipping when you kiss his chin and his nose. You mumble little sweet nothings to him that have him grinning ear to ear. He can physically feel the love you hold for him and it's heavenly.

Satoru loves that you've always been shy about your needs. He loves the way you react when he kisses you anywhere that isn't your face. He knows neck kisses are a weakness for you and he uses that knowledge against you when he wants to see you get flustered.

He'll come up behind you, put his hands on your waist and start kissing your shoulder, slowly trailing the sweetness towards your neck. He knows he's affecting you because after a minute of him mouthing up your sensitive points, you stopped what you were doing and just felt him. His hands peel your shirt off your stomach and glide upward, towards your chest. He can hear your shaky breathing more clearly.

"'toru?" You call, meekly, your hands clenched into fists.

"Hm?" He gives your breasts a squeeze, not letting up on his work on your neck.

"Satoru," you repeat, clear surrender in your tone. You use his full first name to grab his attention, yet it still sounded so sweet.

"You can do it, baby. Tell me what you want."

You get so nervous when he starts talking like this. It makes your chest feel tight, and your stomach swarms with butterflies. You want to run away, but his hands are so warm and he's holding you like you're the most fragile thing to ever exist.

You turn around and quickly bury your face in his chest. Satoru caught a glimpse of the rosiness dusting your cheeks, and the tips of your ears were noticeably glowing, the cute reactions earning a chuckle from him. His hands dragged down your back, and he palmed your ass before going slightly lower to clasp around the backs of your thighs. He lifted you, allowing you to wrap your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck.

"My pretty girl is so shy. Don't worry, I know what you like," he says, directing both of you to the bedroom.

[witchywithwhiskey]

to save me from tears

pairing: DARK!bucky barnes x female reader

summary: you thought you were going on a weekend getaway to the cabin of the guy were seeing, but it turned out bucky barnes had no intention of ever letting you leave. now, one year later, it's the anniversary of an important milestone in your relationship, and he knows just how to celebrate the special occasion.

warnings: 18+ content (minors do not interact!!!), dark themes and elements, non-con/rape, abduction, drugging, imprisonment/captivity, sexual exploitation of reader, forced camgirl work, live-streaming sex, smut, rough sex, painful sex, unprotected sex, piv sex, anal sex, double penetration, oral cockwarming with a dildo gag, squirting, sex toys, bondage/shibari, sadism/forced masochism, ass spanking, degradation, objectification, dacryphilia, choking, breathplay, dirty talk, praise kink, pet names (doll, winter slut), mind break, reluctant stockholm syndrome, reader passes out during sex, DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT, if i missed something please let me know!

word count: 5.6k

a/n: here's my second entry for @the-slumberparty's december daze challenge, using the prompt: Has it been a year already? my last fic was so sweet that apparently i had to balance things out with the absolute darkest, filthiest fic i've ever written. i guess i was feeling some type of way, idk!! anyway, i hope y'all enjoy ♡

december daze challenge masterlist

Frank Sinatra’s “Silent Night” played softly from a speaker in the corner, the chords lilting serenely through the cold basement, the choral harmonizing of the background singers becoming a soundtrack to the depravity you were forced to endure. 

It occurred to you that you might wonder how you’d ended up where you had, but you knew exactly how—you’d trusted the wrong man.

Bucky Barnes had been charming from the moment you met. The former army sergeant had wooed you with ice skating dates and trips to the book store, regaling you with stories from his childhood growing up in Brooklyn over cups of hot chocolate and herbal tea. 

He’d seemed perfectly normal, like the kind of man you’d want to settle down with, and you found yourself wanting to start a new life with him. It hadn’t been long, but you thought he was the one, and you began planning what that new life would look like in your own imagination.

Apparently Bucky had been determined to give you a new life as well, but he hadn’t given you a choice about what that life would look like. While you’d been picturing a cozy apartment in the city before buying a house and moving out to the suburbs, he’d been planning something much different.

It had all started that weekend in December, when Bucky had invited you for a weekend away at his cabin upstate. You’d been seeing him long enough that you trusted him, and you were excited, hopeful, even, that your relationship would deepen on the trip.

You were so happy about spending a whole weekend alone with Bucky that you didn’t think anything of the darkness in his voice when he’d warned you to never, under any circumstances, go into the basement of the cabin. 

Then, after a weekend filled with delicate kisses and gentle lovemaking, you’d been packing to return to the city when a soft cloth had covered your mouth and nose and you’d smelled something sweet. You hadn’t known it at the time, but that was the end of your old life, and you didn’t even have the time or the strength to fight.

You didn’t know how much time had passed when you’d woken up in the cold basement that would become your only home in the months to come. A thick leather collar had been wrapped around your neck, connecting to a chain that was attached to the heavy wooden frame of the bed you lay on. To your horror, you’d realized you were clad in lingerie that wasn’t yours, some cheap set that still managed to fit you perfectly.  

Bucky had been waiting for you to notice him at the foot of the bed, standing next to a camera aimed directly at you. 

“Welcome to your new life, doll,” he’d said, a depraved smirk spreading across his handsome face—and expression you’d never seen before. “Time to earn your keep.” His blue eyes had been glittering with dark excitement as he’d clicked a button on the laptop linked to the camera and crawled onto the bed with you.

That had been the first moment you’d seen the real Bucky Barnes, and he’d spent every day since then showing you exactly how vile and perverted he truly was. He’d kept you in the basement of his cabin and forced you to fuck him on camera, using the money he made from it to buy you more cheap lingerie and all manner of toys to use on your body.

The sharp, cracking sound of a palm meeting soft flesh filled your ears, the subsequent stinging sensation reverberating from your ass through the rest of your body effectively dragging you back into the moment of your latest debasement. 

The pain of Bucky spanking you with the full force of his strength only joined the other aches already living in your body—but you knew better than to complain or cry or whimper. You’d made that mistake early on, but Bucky had only seemed to soak in your pain like it fueled him. 

The first time he’d spanked you, you’d begged him to stop. Instead, though, he only hit you harder, grinning ear to ear while he’d told you that you had no idea what you were in for yet, fake pity dripping from his tone.

But in the present moment, your pain wasn’t only coming from Bucky’s palm. 

Your shoulders ached from the way your arms had been tied behind your back, your hands gripping your forearms and constrained by intricate knots of cords wrapped around your body. To further restrain you, your calves were tied to your thighs, leaving you bound and unable to move with your ass high in the air while your face was shoved into the bed.

In honor of the holiday season, Bucky had traded in the coarse rope he typically used for a long string of multicolored Christmas lights, one end plugged into the wall so your skin was washed in shades of blue, red, green and yellow. 

The string of lights was much more uncomfortable than the rope, even though that had burned. The wire holding the lights together was so thin, and the small bulbs dug painfully into your skin. If you didn’t know your discomfort was exactly what Bucky wanted, you might’ve let him see how unhappy you were with your current predicament.

Instead, you hid your face in the blankets of the bed, trying to focus on anything except Bucky’s big cock fucking into your cunt at a bruising pace. 

Unfortunately, it was impossible to ignore him, his hard length plowing into your body. Not even the cheery lights wound around your body or the Christmas music playing out of the bluetooth speaker in the corner could distract you from the feel of his cock inside you.

Another jarring smack resounded in the cold basement a brief second before the sting of Bucky’s spank quaked through your body. The strike was hard enough that you had to bite the inside of your cheek to keep from crying out. You didn’t want to give him that, even if it would’ve been muffled by the blankets under your face.

“How many times do I gotta tell ya, doll,” Bucky huffed, his voice patronizing and impatient, like he was talking to a misbehaving child. “Look at the camera when I’m fucking you.” He spanked you again, so hard you felt your entire body tremble under the weight of it, then he grabbed and groped your ass cruelly enough to leave marks. “Our audience wants to see your face—don’t ya, fellas?”

That last part was directed at the camera. You turned your head, tipping your face toward the lens just in time to catch the reflection of the rakish grin Bucky shot to whoever was watching. 

The chat box on the screen of the laptop set up just out of frame lit up, the audience for your daily stream with Bucky telling the both of you just how much they wanted to see your face while you were fucked by his fat cock. 

Your eyes caught a few of the filthy, degrading messages before looking away. You refused to believe the way your cunt clenched was in response to what you’d read. You absolutely were not getting turned on by the depraved life your captor forced you to live.

Bucky’s large body curled over your back, his hand wrapping around your throat and lifting your head from the bed so the camera could better see your face. The position shoved his cock even deeper into your cunt, ramming painfully against your cervix and, against your will, your face contorted at the twinge deep in your body.

The chat lit up, chimes dinging fast and furious as the messages came in, and Bucky reached for the laptop so he could read what your viewers had written. 

All the while, his hips kept grinding idly against your ass so his cock rubbed even harder into your cervix, making you let out a little whimper of anguish. His fingers tightened around the sides of your neck, enough to cut off your ability to breathe, and your whimper turned into a desperate, scared little keen.

You felt Bucky grin against your cheek, and you could’ve kicked yourself for giving him exactly what he’d wanted—a reaction. But at least his grip loosened, though you knew it was only because he didn’t want you to pass out too soon.

“The chat says you look like such a pretty little toy when I fuck you all tied up like this, doll,” Bucky cooed in your ear, grinding harder into your cunt. 

You sunk your teeth deep into your lower lip as your whole body trembled under the assault of Bucky’s thick cock. Despite yourself, you felt your cunt clench hard around his stiff length, wetness frothing and gushing from your hole as he made a mockery of your protests. 

Before you’d met Bucky, you would’ve sworn you didn’t like pain. You’d have said you hated it, in fact. 

But after so many days and months of being speared open by his fat cock, all three of your holes ravaged by his hard, unrelenting manhood in his need to dominate you, to conquer your body in every way possible, you couldn’t help your pussy’s response to it.

You told yourself it was some kind of defense mechanism, that your body had begun to react to pain the same way it did pleasure. It was the only explanation you could bear to endure. Because if you admitted you’d begun to like the way Bucky fucked you and abused you…

“Ohhh, listen to this one,” Bucky crooned excitedly, drawing you out of your thoughts and giving you a distraction from the way he was working your body toward its undoing. “‘Happy anniversary to the Winter Soldier and his Winter Slut!’”

The names were, of course, fake ones that Bucky had chosen to give the audience of your streams something to call you both. His was based on his past as a sergent, combined with the season when he’d taken you captive, while yours showed his ownership over you.

You hated it. You didn’t want anyone thinking Bucky owned you. 

But Bucky either didn’t notice or ignored the way you grimaced when he read the fake names aloud. He turned his eyes, filled with cheerful wickedness, toward the camera.

“Has it been a year already?”

The question was full of charm, and you could almost imagine it coming from the Bucky you’d originally met. The one who might’ve celebrated your one-year anniversary with a recreation of your first date, ending with a heartfelt proposal that the two of you move in together. 

Instead, the question hadn’t even been asked to you, but to the camera—to the audience of loyal, degenerate perverts who watched your streams. 

The quick, successive chimes from the laptop drew Bucky’s attention back to it, and he hummed in acknowledgement as he read through the messages. 

His fingers squeezed around your throat, making you choke harder for the camera, adding to the small sounds of anguish that were slipping from your lips while he kept up his merciless grinding, his cock bruising your cervix.

A new sound, one like a cash register, joined the dinging chimes of the chat message and your heart sank. 

That was the sound of people in the chat sending extra tips on top of the subscription fees they paid to get access to your streaming channel. It meant they were making requests for Bucky to do something new—and that never resulted in anything good for you.

Before you could glance at the laptop to try to get an idea of what was coming, Bucky sat back on his haunches, hauling you up with his hand around your throat. Between gravity and the change in position, it felt like Bucky’s cock pushed even deeper into your cunt, pressing against your cervix so hard it stole the breath from your lungs.

“It’s the one year anniversary of your very first stream, doll,” Bucky announced gleefully in your ear, using his free hand to slap at your tits. They were bound between two strings of the Christmas lights wrapped around your body, your soft tits highlighted by the shining, multicolored hues. “Do you have anything to say to our audience, my little Winter Slut?”

It was clear Bucky wanted you to thank them for their loyal viewership, but resentment held your tongue. Memories assaulted you of the very first stream you’d been forced to do.

Bucky had pinned you down on that very same bed, using nothing but his strong hands and large body to pin you to the mattress while he tore your cheap lingerie off your body. Then he’d ravaged you, slapping and groping your tits before biting them so hard you’d started crying. 

It had been the only foreplay he’d offered you before he’d shoved his cock deep in your cunt. He was so big and your body was so unprepared that you’d screamed, which only made Bucky laugh. He’d told you, mockingly, that there wasn’t anyone around to hear you scream—only the audience on the dark web where he was streaming your defilement for who knew how many people who were just as vile as Bucky.

Bucky’s fingers digging deep into the sides of your neck brought you back to the present moment, small gasps falling from your lips as he cut off your air again. Your pulse pounded in your head, but you still managed to notice that Frank Sinatra’s “Silent Night” had given way to another Christmas song, the festive music so at odds with the dread and fear pooling in your belly.

“I guess my Winter Slut is feeling ungrateful today, chat,” Bucky said on a laugh. 

His tone was mocking in a way that sent a shiver racing down your spine, and you refused to believe it might be anticipation. Your body quaked when his soft mouth brushed against your cheek, the gesture almost like a kiss as he turned his head so he could murmur in your ear.

“Our audience wants to see something special for our anniversary, doll,” he cooed. “They want to see me break you.” 

Unease and something else flooded your veins, the conflicting emotions warring for dominance as you struggled to make sense of the way your cunt had clenched around Bucky’s cock when he’d said he was going to break you. You pressed your mouth into a grim line, still determined not to show your reaction to Bucky or the camera, especially when you didn’t understand what was happening to you. 

In the year that you’d spent as Bucky’s personal cam star, you’d endured a lot—and if anyone had asked you, you’d have said you hadn’t enjoyed any of it. But over time, that had begun to change. You’d been fighting it, fighting your body’s responses to Bucky and every depraved thing he did to you. It was becoming so hard, and you were growing so tired of fighting, of pretending…

 “I have just the thing—but first, let’s fill this slut’s mouth,” Bucky was telling the camera, and you forced yourself to focus back on the moment to prepare yourself. 

Bucky shifted to the side, grabbing something from the basket of sex toys he kept next to the bed during streams. When you saw what he pulled out, you bit your lip against a helpless whimper.

He’d pulled out a penis gag, but it wasn’t just any normal penis gag—it was one he’d specially ordered for you. Instead of having a two or three inch dick attached to the strip of leather that would tie around your head, there was a full-sized dildo replica of Bucky’s cock. His big, thick cock.

You tried to keep your mouth closed when Bucky pressed the tip of the silicone cock to your lips, but he only tutted at you with a patronizing click of his tongue. Shifting his fingers from your throat to your cheeks, he dug them in until it hurt. Your jaw gave way.

“That’s a good little cock slut, open for your Winter Soldier,” he cooed patronizingly, shoving the fake dick into your mouth without preparation or remorse.

You gagged as the stiff dildo invaded your throat, tears beginning to flow from your eyes and spit dribbling from the corners of your mouth. Your arms yanked against the Christmas lights holding you bound, but that only forced them to dig deeper into your skin, making your struggle hurt that much more.

While you were distracted by trying to adjust to the silicone cock shoved deep inside you, Bucky secured the leather strap around the back of your head, tying it into place and making it impossible for you to do anything but hold the dildo in your mouth and breathe through the way it bulged in your throat.

Then Bucky was dumping you unceremoniously on the mattress and pulling his cock from your cunt, leaving you to fall face first into the blankets while he hopped up off the bed. You were thankful you could muffle your whimper at the loss of him in the sheets, even as you knew that whatever he had planned would be so much worse than him just fucking you while tied up and gagged.

“I was going to save this one for Christmas,” he was saying from behind a privacy screen beside the bed. It was set up to make sure the camera would only show viewers what Bucky wanted them to see—which was you, and everything he did to you. “But since it’s a special occasion, I’ll let you have your present early.”

When Bucky stepped back into view, your heart nearly stopped. 

A leather harness was strapped onto Bucky’s hips, a dildo attached so it hung below his cock. The contraption, which had clearly been specially ordered because you’d never seen anything like it, wasn’t what shocked you, though—it was the size of the dildo. 

The fake dick was easily twice the size of Bucky’s cock, bigger around and just as long. Staring at it with wide eyes, you genuinely didn’t think it would fit in any of your holes, no matter how roughly Bucky tried to stuff it in. But your cunt was between your thighs like it couldn’t wait for him to try.

Despite your dedication not to give Bucky or the audience any kind of reaction, you couldn’t help the, “No, no, no, no, no,” that came from your mouth. You couldn’t fathom the massive dildo fitting inside you, let alone you enjoying it, no matter how much your body warmed at the prospect of being fucked with it.

Your protests were muffled by the gag in your mouth, to the point that your words were indiscernible, but their meaning must’ve been understood because Bucky chuckled as he walked back to you.

“I know what you’re thinking, doll,” Bucky said conversationally while he climbed onto the bed and retook his place behind you. “There’s no way it’ll fit.” 

He grabbed the knotted string of Christmas lights where they crisscrossed between your shoulder blades, pulling your torso up off the bed so your face was level with the camera. You tried not to look at your reflection in the lens, your mouth split open around the dildo in your mouth and your eyes round as saucers, but it was hard not to stare at the look in your eye—the look of something like fear… or excitement.

“But that’s what’s so fun about it,” Bucky went on, dragging the hard length of the silicone dick through your dripping wet folds, coating the fake cock in the mess of wetness your body was leaking against your will. “It will fit—and it’s going to ruin your cunt.”

Once upon a time, you’d thought the same thing about Bucky’s cock. 

The first time you’d had sex with Bucky—before the cabin and the basement and the camera—you’d taken one look at his cock and whimpered in fear. But he’d been so gentle, promising you that he’d take it slow, that your pussy was made to fit his cock. 

He’d taken his time, kissing your lips and cheeks and all over your face while he worked his cock into your pussy, giving you another inch only when you’d adjusted to the last and relaxed in his arms. Slowly, and with what seemed like an endless amount of patience, he’d opened you up for him. 

That night, he’d made love to you in deep, toe-curling strokes that had wrecked you. He’d seemingly rearranged your body to be the perfect fit for his cock, and then he’d given you the best orgasm of your life.

No wonder you hadn’t stood a chance. 

More than a year later, the memory felt like a dream. It was so faded around the edges, aged by the months spent taking Bucky’s cock roughly, furiously, whenever and wherever he wanted, all while he streamed your debasement for the audience on the dark web.

“You’re going to be so loose that you won’t even feel my cock anymore, doll,” Bucky was saying as he dragged you back to the moment by thrusting his own hard length into your cunt, soaking himself in your juices. “You’ll have to beg me to fuck you with this massive dildo just to feel anything again.” He paused, chuckling to himself as he bent over you, pressing a kiss to your spine between your shoulder blades before murmuring darkly, “That’s your Christmas present this year.”

Then, without anymore preamble, Bucky sat up and pulled out. You didn’t even have time to beg or whine before he lined his cock and the dildo up at the entrances to your tight holes, then shoved both into you at the same time. Bucky buried himself inside you so deeply, so thoroughly, that it felt like he was pushing into the very core of your being, conquering your soul just as completely as he’d conquered your body.

The intrusion was so sudden, you never had a hope of preparing, and all you felt was the devastating sting of being stretched past your limit, the overwhelming ache of being stuffed full beyond what you thought your body could ever take. 

Pain eclipsed any semblance of pleasure you might’ve gotten from having both your holes stuffed full, and your eyes rolled back in your head, a piercing cry tearing from your throat. A white hot burn scorched through your body, and your mind went entirely blank, leaving nothing but depraved annihilation in its wake. 

“Oh fuck, fellas, she’s so fucking tight like this,” Bucky groaned, talking over your head into the camera. “I can feel the fake cock splitting her open—it’s making her ass so fucking tight.”

Humiliation and shame swept through your body at his words, turning the burn into something slightly more bearable, almost pleasurable. There was something about being ignored, being treated like nothing more than a fleshlight or a fuck doll while Bucky completely decimated your body that was so… 

You shook your head. No. You weren’t going to finish that thought.

“Fuck, I don’t know how long ‘m gonna last,” Bucky was grumbling, and you weren’t sure if he was talking to you or your audience.

The words should’ve sounded like music to your ears. You should’ve been happy the torture was almost over. Instead, you felt a pang of disappointment deep in your heart. But you didn’t have time to unpack what that could mean because then Bucky started fucking you.

His hips pulled back until only the tip of his cock and the dildo were still in your ass and pussy, then he plowed forward, shunting his entire length and the fat, massive fake cock into your holes once again. The pain of being split open was already starting to fade, an all-consuming pleasure creeping into the edges of your awareness against your will.

On Bucky’s third thrust, you moaned. 

Your mind was hazy with a mixture of pain and pleasure that was leaning more toward the latter, and with the cock gag in your mouth, you were helpless against the reactions Bucky was wringing from your body. The sound of pleasure slipped from your lips unbidden, and your face heated in shame, which only served to add more fuel to the fire burning through your body.

“Did ya hear that, chat?” Bucky crowed, slapping your ass painfully hard—hard enough that another muffled cry was wrenched from your mouth. “Our little Winter Slut is enjoying her Christmas present! She loves getting her cunt ruined, don’t ya, doll?”

He slammed deep into your body as he asked the question and you were powerless, incapable of doing anything but moaning obscenely for the camera, tears streaming down your cheeks and joining the spit that coated the lower half of your face. Long strings of drool and tears were hanging from your chin, dripping onto the bedsheets below.

Distantly, you heard the chimes from the chat log and the cash register sounds as messages and money poured in. They were coming so fast and so furious that you couldn’t even begin to fathom how much money you were making for Bucky while he broke you with his cocks.

Bucky must’ve heard the sounds too, because he doubled his efforts. He picked up the pace of his thrusts, fucking you hard and fast, spanking your ass mercilessly while his other hand still held you up off the bed by your Christmas light restraints. It meant that your face was framed perfectly in the camera frame.

It occurred to you that you should let your gaze drift off, let your mind retreat somewhere deep inside itself where you could hide from Bucky and what he was doing to your body. But you couldn’t. You couldn’t tear your eyes away from the camera’s display panel.

There, you could see the scene Bucky had constructed—your body tied up in glittering, technicolor Christmas lights; your face covered in tears and drool, lips spread thin around the base of the cock gag; your throat bulging from the fake dick buried deep in your mouth; your tits bouncing between the strands of lights.

Behind you, with a look of deeply depraved joy on his face, was Bucky Barnes. 

He was naked save for the harness belted around his hips and the santa hat on his head. His big body was on display just as much as yours, his broad chest swathed in pale skin and chiseled muscles, his arms bulging as he held you up and spanked your ass. 

Bucky’s dark hair was falling into his handsome face, but the strands didn’t hide the merry grin on his lips or the way his blue eyes glittered with wicked delight as he stared down at the place where his cock and the massive dildo were brutally fucking your holes.

It was too much to watch your defilement. It was too depraved and too…hot.

God help you, but something must’ve finally broken inside you because it was so fucking hot to watch yourself be violated on camera while jaunty Christmas music played in the background and hundreds, if not thousands, of perverts watched Bucky have his way with you. 

Your pussy spasmed and clenched around the fake cock in your hole as you thought about those people watching you. It turned you on that the audience knew Bucky was fucking you against your will and not only were they doing nothing about it, they were taking their own pleasure from watching you be ravaged. Your cunt drooled even more.

Bucky Barnes had officially broken you. 

That was the only conclusion you could reach, because when you’d met him more than a year ago, you never would’ve imagined that your pussy would be creaming all over a fat, girthy dildo while Bucky fucked your ass and held you tied up with Christmas lights for anyone on the dark web to watch. 

But after a year of being fucked hard in every one of your holes, Bucky had finally broken you down until you’d joined him on his level. He’d torn away every ounce of shame, every bit of what had made you you, and remade you in the image of his perfect toy. You were a doll, his doll, just like he called you.

The realization filled you with a sense of peace you never would’ve expected, your body relaxing as your mind went blissfully blank. It was easier this way, you told yourself, as you breathed a sigh of relief. All that was left of you was Bucky Barnes’ perfect doll—his Winter Slut cam star.

Bucky must’ve felt or somehow sensed your submission because he groaned a filthy sound of pleasure and shoved his hips flush against your ass. He paused for a moment, his hand groping your ass possessively before pulling back and ramming home again, burying himself even deeper inside you, the massive dildo bullying your cervix as he pounded into you.

“That’s my girl, take your Winter Soldier’s cock like a good little fuck doll,” Bucky purred, his voice taking on a tenor of contentment you’d never heard before. It was like he was praising you for your submission, for finally giving yourself over to him, mind, body and soul. “You’re being such a perfect Winter Slut, taking me so good and crying so pretty for the camera.”

You preened under his praise, using what little strength remained in your body to shove your hips back onto Bucky’s cocks, fake and real alike, while you sucked enthusiastically on the fake dick in your mouth. Tears flowed harder from your eyes and you sobbed your pleasure, choked sounds of enjoyment falling from your lips.

You could feel the most devastating orgasm of your life building in the core of your being, and you were eager to chase it, knowing it would rewrite the fundamental fabric of your self. 

“Fuck yeah, doll, be my perfect little cam star,” Bucky rumbled, slapping your ass in encouragement, the sting of pain swirling with the pleasure he was wringing from your body and adding to the burning bliss scorching through you. “Show the chat how good my Winter Slut can cry for their money—show them how much you love feeling me ruin your holes for Christmas.”

Bucky rutted into you, pounding into your cunt and ass so hard that the clapping of his hips against your skin was filling the basement and almost drowning out the new Christmas song that had begun. It felt so good, so fucking good to be fucked and filled in every hole, that you were close—so close you could nearly taste it.

“Fucking take it, Winter Slut, take the only cock you’ll ever feel again,” Bucky growled, curling around your body and taking your throat in his hand. He squeezed tightly, grinding his cock and dildo into your body, so deep, you could feel them in your guts. “For the rest of your life, you’re gonna do nothing but take my cock and be my pretty little cam star—you’re all fucking mine.”

Something snapped inside you and you felt liquid gush between your thighs, coating the massive fake cock in your cunt. Your squirt sprayed down to soak the sheets beneath you, and all you could do was revel in the pleasure flooding your body, every limb trembling with the force of it while you gasped and cried around Bucky’s hold on your throat.

When he realized what you’d done, Bucky whooped with triumph, crowing into the camera that he’d made you squirt, that you were his perfect little fuck doll cam star. But you were too consumed by your oncoming release, which was barreling toward you with the force of a freight train. 

Before it finally hit you, and you came so hard your eyes rolled into the back of your head and you passed out, Bucky wrapped himself more tightly around your body, his chest pressing into your back and his arms wrapping around your front. He choked you with one big hand while the other groped and played roughly with your tits.

To your surprise, he brushed a kiss to your cheek in a gesture that felt affectionate.

“You’re making me so fucking proud, doll,” he cooed in your ear, and you thought, for a moment, that he sounded just like the sweet Bucky Barnes you’d met all those months ago. “You’re the best Christmas present I ever could’ve asked for.” 

Just then, your release slammed into you and you screamed—and there wasn’t anyone around to hear you except Bucky and his camera. 

Overwhelming pleasure washed through you, darkness creeping into the edges of your consciousness as your body convulsed and you choked on the dildo in your throat while your other holes clenched around the cocks that had split you open beyond your limit.

The last thing you heard before the weight of your release dragged you under was the festive synth pop chords of another Christmas song, and Wham! singing, “This year, to save me from tears, I’ll give it to someone special.” 

Somewhere inside you, you knew that everything was going to change once you woke up. Bucky had finally broken you, and you’d given him your ultimate submission. Nothing would be the same, but you found that that didn’t scare you as much as it once might have.

You belonged to Bucky Barnes and you’d finally accepted that as fact. He’d taken everything else, but you still had your heart left to give—and you were certain it wouldn’t be long before you gave him that too. Maybe, at least, it would save you from tears…

As you came so hard you passed out, you accepted that your thoughts, your pleasure, your mind, your body, your soul—your everything—belonged to Bucky Barnes. Then, everything went black.

december daze challenge masterlist

[ghostlyferrettarot]

🎀Pick a Picture:✧˚.🎀༘⋆A glimpse into your near future✧˚.🎀༘⋆

•Pile 1 •Pile 2 •Pile 3

❗️This is a collective reading, take what resonates and leave the rest❗️

✨️Paid Services ✨️ (Natal charts and tarot readings) Open!

🌸If you like my work you can support me through Ko-fi. Thank you!🌸

🎀Masterlist🎀

🍎 Pile 1: The Chariot, 6 of Wands and 8 of Wands.

Hi pile 1! The near future is full of movement, and once you take the reins of your destiny, there will be no turning back. I see your energy coming into contact with new ones, for some reason I feel that some of you will receive a promotion or a manifestation that you have long awaited will come true, but it is not just about waiting for things to happen; it is about making decisions with confidence, about putting your energy in motion towards a goal that has been waiting for you. You may be tempted to stay where you are, to wait for one more sign, but this is the push you needed, the time is now.

However, remember balance. Don't be carried away by impulsiveness; keep your emotions in check to not fall into the temptation of acting only on instinct. The success that awaits you will be achieved only if you have control over yourself and over the circumstances. You have the inner strength to move forward, you just need to trust in your ability to guide you. The energy is in your favor, but discipline is essential!

🍎 Advice: If you have been in doubt about a project or an important decision, this is the time to move forward with your ideas. You have the power to move forward, but make sure you are clear about your goal.

🍎Song:

🩷Pile 2: Death, 4 of Cups and 2 of Pentacles.

Hi pile 2! The near future brings a cycle of closure, of necessary closure that will make room for something much bigger. You are likely leaving behind a phase of your life that no longer serves you, whether in relationships, work, or limiting beliefs. This change may seem painful or scary at first, but it is a necessity for your evolution.

Embrace this process without fear, "only when something dies, can it be reborn" . The changes that are to come can transform your life in ways that you cannot imagine right now. Perhaps not everything will be easy, but what is to come will be much more aligned with what your soul needs. It will take you to the place you need to be and you will meet the right people for you <3

🩷 Advice: Don't hold on to what is happening. Although the closing of this cycle may feel uncertain, remember that the future has something much brighter for you. Open your mind and heart to the new.

🩷Song:

📘Pile 3: The Sun, 9 of Cups and 10 of Pentacles.

Hi pile 3! I see a future full of optimism, joy and clarity. If lately you have been feeling that things were not moving forward or that something was blocking you, the Sun is here to show that the shadows will not last forever. Something wonderful is about to arrive, and all you need to do is allow the light to enter your life. This is a time of rebirth, of starting over with a new perspective, allow yourself to welcome good changes and new starts!

To make this process faster there are past wounds, resentments or doubts that could be blocking this light from shining completely in your life. The future is waiting for you with open arms, but to welcome the new, you need to let go of the old. Only when you do, you will be able to welcome the clarity and happiness that is to come.

📘 Advice: Enjoy the small moments and stop being afraid of happiness. You are about to experience a rebirth. Believe in your power to create a new life. The light is coming.

📘Song:

✧˚.🎀༘⋆Thanks for reading and let me know if it resonated!✧˚.🎀༘⋆