#and that sometimes panics me quite thoroughly as I can’t wake myself any further

[andyhdi]

A large worry of mine was that I would be unkind when I woke from anesthesia, as I understand everyone has different responses.

When I woke up from surgery in the recovery ward, I instead immediately was trying to offer the patient next to me (who was having a rough time of it) some of my lollies, and heavily praised my minder every time she fed me ice chips.

All in all, not unkind in the slightest. :)

[notsoguiltykpop]

Champion pt9

Jungkook x Reader

Racecar driver / street racer au

Genre: Romance, slow-burn, suspense(?), fluff, slightly smutty later on in the story

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 10

Synopsis: You might have gotten your start on the street, but you’ve always had bigger plans. With a new sponsor backing you, you’re all set to work your way up in the motorsport world and make it big.Your dream is to take down Jeon Jungkook, who is currently one of the best drivers in the sport. He doesn’t quite know how he feels about this rookie winning all the races and getting all the attention, but it reminds him why he’s racing in the first place–to be nothing but the best, and leave everyone else in the dust.Things get complicated when he falls head over heels for the competition.

—

Jungkook woke with a start and immediately regretted it. His head was pounding and the room was too bright, and he shifted on the couch to try to roll away from the window. It took another moment for him to figure out that he was on a couch that wasn’t his, and in his half-asleep state he almost started to panic, but then he sat up and remembered where he was.

Jooheon was sleeping on the couch across from him still, snoring lightly, and Jungkook caught himself smiling. He had to admit, Seokjin was right to talk him into going to the party. He had needed a break and some laughs. He was even glad he got to know 52 better, and he meant it when he told the other driver that he thought they should be friends, not enemies. 52 was strange, but in a funny sort of way, and was growing on Jungkook fast.

There was a nagging thought in the back of his head as he sat up straighter, blinking in an attempt to wake himself up further. There was something he needed to do, he just couldn’t quite remember what it was. He felt around for his phone first in his pockets, then on the couch, and finally spotted it on the card table.

He stood and stretched before making his way over to it. He wanted nothing more than to go back to sleep, but there was something he was supposed to do first, if he could just remember–

“Shit.” He muttered once he picked up his phone, seeing the last text he’d gotten from you the night before. He’d invited you over for breakfast, of all things. It had seemed like a good idea at the time; the next day he had free was a week away, and if you were actually willing to talk now, he wanted to hear what you had to say. And if you weren’t going to talk, if you were expecting him act like you hadn’t driven off and left him, and like the illegal race hadn’t happened, then he wanted closure. He looked at the time–7:12–and decided he might still be able to get back to his house before you did.

Eleanor was in the kitchen, and gave him a bemused look as he half-hopped past her, trying to get his shoe on as he went.

“Stay for coffee, you don’t need to rush out of here–” She started, but Jungkook shook his head.

“Late,” He said distractedly, checking his pockets for his keys.

Eleanor raised an eyebrow. “Where do you need to be at seven in the morning on a Monday?”

“It’s a long story,” Jungkook muttered as he began looking around for his car keys. He had them last night, and he couldn’t figure out why they weren’t in his pocket now. Eleanor opened the drawer next to her before holding them up, smiling.

“This what you’re looking for?” Jungkook held his hand out in answer, but she just held them out of his reach. “I took them as a precaution last night. You can have them back if you tell me where you’re off to in such a hurry. You didn’t say anything about having an early morning.”

Jungkook sighed, tonguing his cheek and folding his arms. “I don’t see how it’s your business. But if you have to know, I invited someone over for breakfast.”

“You did?” Eleanor scoffed, still holding onto his keys. “You never pass up the opportunity to sleep in. Who are you and what did you do with Jungkook?”

“Ha ha,” He replied dryly. “You’re hilarious. Now give me my keys.”

“Whoever it is must be important…” Eleanor mused, tapping her chin in thought. “You’re dating someone, aren’t you? When do I get to meet her?”

Jungkook decided not to argue that he’d never said it was a her, nor had he said anything about a relationship; He was already running out of time, and didn’t want to waste more of it. “Most likely never.”

Eleanor seemed taken aback by this and slightly offended, and Jungkook took the opportunity to snatch his keys out of her hand.

“It was a fun party, tell Simon I said hi.”

“This conversation isn’t over!” Eleanor called after him.

—

[Jungkook, 8:13] “Back door is open. Help yourself to coffee”

You glanced at his text again, still reluctant to get out of your car. You couldn’t shake the feeling that this was a bad idea. Telling him about your past might make everything worse, not only now, but also when he learned who you were. But you needed to do this. Seokjin already knew everything, somehow, so Jungkook would find out about it sooner or later and you would rather he heard it from you even if that wouldn’t change anything between the two of you.

Taking one last deep breath, you decided that procrastinating further wasn’t going to help anything.

His house was on the small side, almost modest, but cute and well maintained. The garage door was open as he said it would be, and you stepped carefully over a motorcycle he appeared to have entirely taken apart. You expected to see his Maserati to be parked on the other side, but instead saw a Nissan GTR.

“Jungkook?” You called when you stepped into his kitchen. The smell of coffee hit you first, and the smell of Jungkook’s aftershave and cologne under that. It was comforting in a way, and calmed your nerves drastically.

The ingredients for waffles sat on one side of the sink, and a coffee pot with two mugs on the other. You poured yourself some and hopped up to sit on the counter, hoping the caffeine would wake you up. You only got about two hours of sleep the night before after getting home so late.

It wasn’t long before Jungkook appeared, his hair still wet from his shower.

“Hey,” He gave you a half-smile, his eyes looking as tired as you felt. “Sorry, been running late all morning. Had a late night…”

“Yeah, me too,” You sent him a smile back.

Neither of you said anything for a moment, and right as it was starting to feel awkward, Jungkook seemed to snap out of whatever train of thought he’d fallen into.

“Is waffles okay?” He asked, not waiting for an answer as he began measuring the ingredients out.

You nodded anyway before sipping your coffee. As nervous as you were, you were still glad to be there with him.

“I didn’t know you could cook,” You noted, smiling softly to yourself. You couldn’t help but think that it would be nice if you were there under other circumstances; the idea of waking up to this, sleepy Jungkook making breakfast, was more than appealing. Your smile faded somewhat as you realized what you were thinking, and the likelihood of that never happening.

“Oh, I can’t,” Jungkook replied quickly as he cracked the second egg into the bowl.

“It sure looks like you can,” You raised an eyebrow, but he just shook his head.

“No,” He chuckled lightly as he began mixing the batter. “I can cook waffles, specifically. That’s pretty much it.”

“It’s a good thing I like waffles, then,” You joked.

Silence fell for a few minutes after that, neither of you quite sure where to start. But once the batter was poured, there wasn’t much more avoiding the elephant in the room.

Jungkook walked over next to you to get his own coffee, close enough that you could smell his shampoo.

“I want you to know that I didn’t steal Coldwater’s car,” You started, looking at your coffee rather than directly at Jungkook as he looked up at you. “I’ve done a lot of questionable things in the past, but that’s not one of them.”  

“We don’t have to talk about this now,” Jungkook replied quietly. “Don’t you want to eat first?” He chuckled slightly, trying to lighten the mood.

You shook your head. “Honestly? I think I’d rather get it over with.” He nodded in understanding, leaning back against the counter across from you, watching you intently. “I started street racing in highschool. Made bets against other students sometimes, but it was pretty casual. I don’t remember when it started being about the money, to be honest. It was like one day I just realized that without racing, I’d be broke. After that, I started taking it more… Seriously, I guess. I got involved with some bad people, made connections I probably shouldn’t have…” You paused, lost in thought for a second. It felt strange talking about any of this with someone who wasn’t Jimin. Even Hoseok didn’t ask too many questions about your former “profession,” for lack of a better word, and you didn’t offer up any details. “One of those connection was Allen Schaltz. He became a sort of middle-man. He placed bets for or against me, depending on if I felt like losing or not, and he would collect my winnings–What?”

Jungkook had tilted his head to one side, bemusement on his face. “Depending on if you felt like losing?” Jungkook echoed.

You nodded. “I had to lose sometimes, otherwise no one would race against me, let alone place any bets. But no one could beat me unless I let them. So…” You let your voice trail off as Jungkook nodded in understanding, though he still looked thoroughly confused by the concept of losing on purpose. “By the time I realized what I had really gotten myself into, I didn’t see a way out. Any entry-level job wouldn’t pay enough to make up for me quitting street racing. So I stuck with it. Until last year, I mean.”

“What changed?” Jungkook’s expression was unreadable, and you chewed your lip as you tried to think of how best to continue. You hadn’t thought this far ahead when you told him you wanted to talk, mostly because you knew if you did, you would back out.

“Hoseok,” You said after a moment. “He saw potential in me. He said he would help me get out of the mess I’d gotten into as long as I agreed to quit street racing. He covered a lot of my bills until he set me up with the job at the cafe. I owe him a lot.”

Jungkook seemed to mull this over for a moment, brows slightly furrowed. “But you still decided to go behind his back and race anyway?” You could tell he was trying to keep the disapproval from his voice.

“I didn’t want to,” You shook your head, eyes on your coffee rather than meeting Jungkook’s own. “Allen learned a lot about me in the three years we worked together, so when I disappeared from the street racing scene, it was a lot harder to get off his radar. I knew he wasn’t happy that I quit–I was a source of easy income for him, after all. I should have expected that he wouldn’t let it go…” You realized you were rambling to yourself now, your voice quiet. You cleared your throat before continuing. “He showed up one night with a job offer–to drive in Coldwater’s place because he needed to win the race against his brother.” You looked up at Jungkook finally, gaze unwavering. “I didn’t want to do it. But Allen knows things about me that he… Said he would make public if I didn’t accept the offer.” You couldn’t think of a better way to phrase it. “If that information got out, Hoseok would go down with me. I couldn’t risk doing that to him.”

That much was true, at least.

Jungkook’s gaze had darkened. “He threatened you? Why didn’t you go to the police? I mean, that’s blackmail, right?”

You shook your head. “The information would still get out, even if I did manage to get him arrested for blackmail. I know Allen, he’s always got a backup plan.”

Jungkook ran a hand through his hair in agitation. “Jesus.” He muttered under his breath.

“When the car crashed and I was the one pulled out of it, Coldwater had to come up with some excuse about why he wasn’t driving. The easiest one was that I stole his car,” You fidgeted with your mug, and seeing that Jungkook looked like he was about to say something, you added quickly; “I understand if you don’t believe me, I know how it sounds. But I wanted you to know the truth.”

You sat in silence for a moment. Jungkook looked like he was still trying to process all of this, and you still couldn’t tell what he was thinking.

“And Hoseok? What did he have to say about the blackmail?”

“He doesn’t know about any of it,” You admitted. “Not the blackmail, or the race.”

“How’d you explain the crash, then?” He asked, then upon seeing you grimace, he nodded to himself. “He doesn’t know about that, either,” He answered his own question.

“I should have told him,” You sighed. “But I didn’t, I thought I had it under control, and now I don’t know how to tell him without sounding like I went back on my word to quit street racing–Which I did, I suppose.”

Jungkook sighed, eyes focused somewhere off to your left and at nothing in particular as he thought. “What does Coldwater have on you that scared you bad enough to agree to something like that? It wasn’t just the street racing, was it?”

“Does that mean you believe me?” You said, trying not to get your hopes up too high.

“It means I’m trying,” Jungkook replied curtly.

“Information that, if it got out now, under the wrong circumstances, could ruin my career. Could ruin Hoseok’s too, by association.”

Jungkook seemed to pick up on the fact that that was as much of an answer as he was going to get.

“I want to trust you,” He admitted, walking over to refill his coffee cup next to you. “And I guess I can understand why you didn’t tell me before.” You could still see the uncertainty in his eyes as he spoke, however, despite his words. “But if whatever this is–” He gestured between the two of you, “–Is going to continue, I’d like to feel like you trust me, too.” He turned to face you fully, then, his hand resting on the counter centimeters from your thigh.

“I trust you,” You said quickly, without even thinking.

The corner of Jungkook’s mouth turned upwards, as though he was trying not to smile and failing. “Then talk to me next time. At least give me a chance to understand?”

You nodded, unsure if you could even believe that things had resolved so well. “Does that mean things can go back to how they were?” You asked tentatively. This was the perfect opportunity to tell him the whole truth. Maybe not right this second, because that might be too much all at once, but this morning for sure. He would understand, now you were sure.

Jungkook tilted his head, then scrunched his nose. “Before that, I have another question.” You nodded for him to continue, unsure of where he was going with this. “Can I be your boyfriend?” His face switched from semi-serious to mischievous in an instant, a grin spreading across his face. “I know it might be too soon to ask, but–”

You broke him off by leaning forward, catching his lips with your own. You felt him smile into the kiss as he moved to stand in front of you rather than beside where you sat. He pulled away just long enough to murmur, “I’ll take that as I yes?”

His hands were gentle as they found their way to rest on your hips, pulling you marginally closer to the edge of the countertop.

You were about to affirm that it was most definitely a yes when you noticed an odd smell in the air.

“I think the food is burning,” You couldn’t help the small giggle that escaped you as Jungkook paused.

“Food?” He repeated blankly, then swore, hurrying over to the smoking waffle-maker.

“I thought you said you were good at cooking waffles!” You teased as the smoke alarm started going off. Jungkook muttered something about the fact that he wasn’t planning on getting so distracted as he tossed the ruined food in the garbage, and you took it upon yourself to start opening the kitchen windows, letting fresh air in.

When you heard the garage door open, you assumed it was Jungkook, so more air would flow through the room. It wasn’t him, though, and when you tuned and made eye contact with his manager, your heart sank. He didn’t look happy.

The alarm finally stopped in time for Seokjin to ask, “What are you doing here?”

Jungkook turned around to see him, looking a bit more than exasperated. “I think a better question would be what are you doing here?” He retorted before you had a chance to say anything. He then turned to you. “Y/n, this is my manager, Seokjin. He doesn’t understand boundaries and likes to show up unannounced.” He rolled his eyes dramatically before going back to trying to clean the waffle maker.

“We’ve met,” Seokjin sighed, helping himself to some coffee. “Also, I texted you an hour ago I would be here–I wanted to make sure you hadn’t forgotten about the meeting later.”

“I haven’t forgotten,” Jungkook sighed. “So you can leave now.”

Seokjin seemed to have other plans, though. “You’re not going to invite me to stay for breakfast?”

“Nope,” Jungkook replied curtly, crossing his arms.

His manager pressed his lips into a thin line, glancing at you before catching Jungkook’s arm and pulling him just out of earshot.

“Jungkook…” He started quietly, sending another glance at you.

“We sorted everything out,” Jungkook assured the other man. “I took your advice and heard her out. We talked about everything, and you were right. There was more to what happened… Thank you.”

It wasn’t often that Seokjin didn’t know what to say, but he stood in a stunned silence for a second while trying to think of how to answer. “I know I said that, but that was before–”

“Before what?”

“Before I really thought about it,” Seokjin sighed, though Jungkook could tell that wasn’t originally what he was thinking. “What do you mean by you talked about everything?”

Jungkook frowned. “Street racing, the crash…” He shrugged. “Why? I thought you’d be happy I took your advice for once.”

Seokjin just shook his head. “No, I am. I was just… Curious.”

He fell silent as you made your way over to the two of them, giving Jungkook an apologetic smile.

“I have to be at work soon, so I’m going to take off… I’ll call you?”

Jungkook tried not to pout. “You didn’t eat, though.” It was a flimsy excuse to keep you there, considering that there wasn’t anything too eat yet, but he couldn’t think of anything better.

“Another time,” You assured him, nodding at Seokjin on your way out. 

—

Your collarbone was healing. It was slower than you wished it would, but considering you hadn’t exactly been taking it easy, you couldn’t complain much. 

Just when you were starting to think that you wouldn’t have to tell Hoseok about your injury ever, you turned your shoulder wrong in qualifying the day before your race against Jungkook. 

You had been trying to primarily drive with your good arm, but in a moment of misjudgment, you pushed too hard.

“I’m sorry,” You said over the radio to Taehyung, after saying you were coming back to the pits. “I just–I can’t.” You knew if you continued to push it, you wouldn’t be able to drive at all tomorrow. All you could do now was hope that the few good laps you’d had would be enough to keep you in the top ten. 

Hoseok wasn’t there when you got out of your car, luckily. But it didn’t take long for someone to shove a cellphone into your hand and give you a worried look.

“I’m sorry,” You echoed what you’d said to Taehyung. 

“What happened?” Hoseok asked stiffly. 

“I uh–I’ve injured my shoulder,” You cleared your throat nervously. 

“How?” 

You suddenly wished you’d stayed in the car and just dealt with it. Sure, you likely woudn’t have been able to move it at all tomorrow if you had, but at least you might have avoided this conversation. 

“It was an accident, I can explain,” You said. You half expected Hoseok to start yelling at you for quitting qualifying, for screwing over your chances for tomorrow. But dead silence fell on the other side of the phone for an uncomfortably long moment. 

“You’re an idiot.” Hoseok finally said, and hung up before you could say anything else. 

—

You should be sleeping. Even if you were too nervous to get any real sleep, you knew logically you should at least be pretending to get some rest. Instead, you found yourself laying on your hotel room couch, Jungkook half laying next to you and half on top, his head resting on his hand. You had the excuse of supporting Hoseok to be there for the race weekend, and Jungkook didn’t argue much other than to say he was sure that you were really just there to support him. 

Over the last two weeks, things has significantly improved between the two of you, but weren’t exactly the same. Sometimes, when Jungkook would spontaneously text you a meme without context or show up at the cafe to lean on the counter and wink, saying he was in the mood for tea and his being there definitely had nothing to do with the fact that this was where you worked, you could almost forget that things had very nearly ended between the two of you.

Other times, like now, as he idly traced circles on your arm, eyes on the bruise that was still left on your collarbone, you were reminded that it was only a temporary fix.

“Does it still hurt?” He asked, breaking the comfortable silence that had fallen over you.

You shook your head, smiling softly. “Nah, not really. It looks worse than it is, now.”

Jungkook nodded to himself, worrying his lower lip between his teeth. “Have you thought any more about going to the police about what happened?”

He’d brought this up before, never trying to pressure you, but not quite ready to let it go either. You could tell he was mad that you were dragged into it, but now his anger was solely directed at Coldwater.

“It’s not worth the risk,” You said again. You knew Jungkook meant well, and you appreciated his concern, but he still didn’t know what was really at stake if you made the issue even worse than it already was.

You could tell that he wanted to say more on the subject, but he sighed instead. “Okay. But maybe I could help if I knew what exactly the risk was…” He muttered, but seemed more concerned than irritated.

“There really isn’t anything anyone could do,” You shook your head. You had originally expected Jungkook to ask more questions about what the blackmail itself was, but for the most part, he’d done the opposite. He made it clear that if and when you were ready to talk about it, he was there for you, and left it at that. “Let’s talk about something else?”

“Sure,” With his free hand, he brushed a stray hair away from your face. “I’m glad you’re going to be there tomorrow.”

He didn’t have to say where for you to know he meant the race. “I wouldn’t miss it.” You grinned. “I have to be there when you lose.”

Jungkook rolled his eyes, and you were glad the mood seemed to have lightened drastically. “Sometimes I forget you’re my biggest anti-fan.”

“I’m not an anti,” You protested. “I’m just stating facts. 52′s going to beat you tomorrow.”

“Really?” Jungkook laughed. “Because I don’t think so.”

“We’ll see, I guess,” You shrugged noncommittally, trying not to grin, but that wasn’t enough for Jungkook. He shifted so he was hovering above you, his weight on his arms which were now on either side of you.

“Be serious for a second,” He started, and it was your turn to roll your eyes. This hardly seemed like the time or position for a serious conversation.

“I am being serious,” You argued, and he shook his head.

“What would you do if I lost tomorrow?”

You pretended to think about it for a second, tilting your head to one side in thought.

“I’d throw a party.” You decided. Jungkook gave you a dubious look.

“No, I mean really.”

“I’d throw a party,” You said again, this time with more finality. “With lots of alcohol, maybe some cake. There might even be some confetti. There will be a dance floor… Don’t look at me like that, you’re invited, too.”

Jungkook was giving you the most unimpressed look you’d ever seen, including that first day you met him on the track.

“You actually want 52 to win, don’t you?”

You nodded. “I thought that was obvious.”

Jungkooks mouth opened slightly, face incredulous. “I can’t believe I’m actually dating my biggest anti-fan.” He said this more to himself than to you.

“I already told you, I’m not–” You cut yourself off with a huff. “Wanting you to lose doesn’t make me an anti.” Jungkook looked like he wanted to argue, so you didn’t give him the chance. “You’re a competitive person, Jungkook. And do you know what competitive people need?”

“Uh, no?” He didn’t look like he knew where you were going with this.

“Competition! Otherwise you get bored. I know, because I’m the same way. You told me racing isn’t the same anymore, and that’s why you want to quit. I’m telling you that it’s not the same because you don’t have any more rivals left. It’s not fun to win if you didn’t even have to try.” Jungkook looked lost in thought as you spoke. “I hope you drive your best tomorrow. I hope you do everything you can to win, and I hope you come in second to 52. Because I think losing is exactly what you need.”

“So basically, what you’re saying is, a real fan would want me to lose,” He smiled mischievously. “Which means that you are a fan after all.”

“That’s seriously all that you got out of that,” You scoffed, rolling your eyes dramatically. “You’re impossible.”

“Maybe you’re right,” He admitted, suddenly much more serious. “Maybe it would be good for me to lose. It’s too bad you’re wrong that 52 can beat me, then.” He grinned, giving your forehead a quick kiss before pushing himself up off the couch. “I’ve got to get back before my trainer realizes I’m not sleeping. See you tomorrow, after I win.” 

—

A/N Um oops so this has been done since January and I just forgot to edit it. Please let me know what you think!! I know it’s been forever and a day since I’ve updated, I hope that you haven’t all left out of frustration. Thank you for reading, I’m so happy to be back! 

Tagging @batakookie and @joepesci-isfine

Let me know if you’d like to be tagged in future updates and I’ll add you to the list!