#and that me being a listener and people watcher is just fine

[babyleostuff]

happy birthday jeon wonwoo. thank you for showing me that there's nothing wrong with being the quiet one

[lady-raziel]

long reaction to the update

ok. so they put out an update video! since i've been commentating for the last three days i might as well subject you all to more of my thoughts today.

main takeaway: this was a good apology video. i mean it. short and to the point, no overproduction, heartfelt and honest (and not a ukelele to be seen. thank god.) they took ownership of the situation, apologized, and restated how much they value their relationship with the fandom.

their solution is to make the watcher tv platform into kind of an iteration of patreon where content is available for early access before it is released onto youtube later. this is clearly a better option than paywalling everything for everyone. i'm not sure what the relative breakdown of costs turns out to be when you compare how much they were making on patreon after the platform took their cut VS how much it costs in overhead to run and maintain their own platform (how much it costs annually to contract via Vimeo, essentially). but i'm sure that's part of the calculation.

all things considered, that does seem like the best option out of all the alternatives. it allows them to not completely abandon any of the pans they have simmering over the fire for the time being. i don't think i ever thought they were going to just say "oops, forget about the streaming thing! let's pretend that never happened!" because at this point they've invested quite a lot of time and money into it, and i don't disagree that keeping it in some iteration may help them make up some of the funds they're lacking.

i would say, it's fine to keep the streamer. this is one of the ok outcomes, all things considered-- but if they're going to do it, they've GOT to do it smart from this point forward. listen to both the fans and the consultants intimately. both are going to have valid points, and both are going to be right. listening to too much of either side will sink this thing because each has motives and expertise that the other doesn't. if the fans say $6 is too much, listen to them-- but have conversations with business consultants about how much you realistically need to charge to make things work.

also, i'd use this whole situation as a learning experience. watcher is a young company, and it's literally inevitable that mistakes will happen. what's different is that the watcher crew haven't really been in a position before where they've been on the receiving end of the internet-angry-justice-hammer to this extent. it's one thing to watch it happen to others, but it's a position of extreme privilege (and a bit of hubris) to think "but that won't happen to me, because i'm built different." naw, man-- two things in life are inevitable: death and fuckups. the callout posts get us all in the end.

what's really important is that they use this as a wakeup call that even the most loyal fandoms will only follow you so far to the cliff's edge, and you don't want to push that. you have to strike a balance between the passion projects that you think are worthy and the stuff that maybe doesn't excite you as much anymore but the people want to see. a little fanservice keeps the lights on, as unfair as that might seem. i'm gonna make 50 markiplier choccy milk memes just so i can make one niche political joke once and a while for 6 likes. it is what it is.

i'd also use this as a chance to take a very careful look at company structure and finances. it's not fun to do and nobody likes it. trust me-- this is hard whether you're a single adult trying to pay the bills or the freaking US government (speaking from experience on both-- i have to read the president's budget for work frequently). but you all have to ask hard questions about the ratio of creative staff you take on VS staff for administrative and other business roles, as well as the costs and benefits of everything you spend money on. how many staff members are essential to location shoots? can this video be shot with 2 cameras instead of 3 and thus you don't need another cameraperson? you might even have to come to the decision that instead of pitching a new show it makes more sense to use those funds to hire your essential non-creative roles or contract firms or freelancers.

paying staff a fair wage with benefits speaks highly of what watcher wants their values to be. it's hard to find such a position in a creative role and still actually get to work on things you care about. but it would be much worse if watcher didn't make realistic decisions about finances and it lead to the death of the company and everyone losing their jobs. the whole watcher company can work, in my opinion, but not without some sacrifices. they're going to have to run it more like a business and less like a youtube-channel-turned-business in the future if they want to survive.

last thing i'll add is that while i do think this was a good apology video, i still think they hurt themselves by not putting out some sort of statement on Friday or Saturday just to say that they were formulating a response. As i've said in other posts, it's ok and in fact beneficial to not make a kneejerk reaction, but it's also very important to communicate that you SEE what's happening. you SEE what people are saying and THAT'S why you need more time to respond. saying nothing and leaving the angry public to wonder if you dropped your phone off the Hoover Dam or just don't care? that's a fumble. it's a common mistake companies make in a crisis, but that doesn't mean it doesn't erode trust fast.

this could have been handled better in many ways. we see that, and i'm glad watcher says they see that too. crucial going forward is taking all this and patching the errors that caused all this to fall apart and learning from the experience.

tbh at this point what i'm most sad about is that the watcher crew have probably been too stressed out and upset to appreciate some of the absolute bangers people have been laying down to clown on them. i think if it wasn't about them they might be touched by the collective attitude and creative spirit. /j

[thecoolerliauditore]

long post: the neck kisses playlist on joel's spotify is about jimmy (and kind of etho too a little bit)

it's not actually about jimmy it very much is not about jimmy. however I had visions when I listened to it and I know at least one person really wants me to put this into words so

"I Miss Having Sex But At Least I Don't Wanna Die Anymore" is a pretty straightforward song about Awsten Knight's post-break-up life as well as his frustrations with his fanbase.

The feelings post-break-up are described as freeing, hence the title ".. don't wanna die anymore" but the ending of the song hints at some nagging regret despite that, with the desperate repeating mantra of "but I think it's fine, it's cool"

While I don't think all of these songs signify chronology (and some I don't think are literal at all unless c!Joel has some weird daddy issue lore I'm unaware of), I do like to think the start of the playlist calls to pre-3L jimmy/joel, most specifically their relationship in x-life.

In x-life, Joel establishes a totally-not-cult religion he dubs "Jeremyism", Jimmy being his first member after he fails to trick Lizzie into joining. He later gives up his leader title, quote, "for content". Jimmy is unhappy with this development and begs Joel to stay, but Joel refuses. While their relationship in x-life would be hard to define as romantic in any sense, they were clearly fond of eachother before Joel eventually broke away.

Things get a bit hazy here since "for content" doesn't really translate to anything in-universe, but I think it's interesting to note that both the song and Joel mention an audience, specifically one that they feel the need to appease. Whether this is a metaphor or watcher lore or some secret third thing I have no idea but it sure is there 👍

In my mind, it goes like this: Jimmy and Joel meet, they hit it off, Jimmy is affectionate and Joel starts to catch feelings. Joel cuts Jimmy off for making him feel weird.

the second song in the playlist reinforces this, being a much angrier post-break-up song.

While this seems out-of-order (why does the immediate anger come after the song about life after the break-up?), I think it's interesting if you look at it from an angle of this not being fully Joel's feelings towards Jimmy, but Joel's frustration towards himself for messing it up.

with a little bit of frustration being placed on jimmy too:

pictured: joel in third life with a message from jimmy that he very much. does not answer.

personally I like to think Joel held a lot of resentment towards Jimmy in Third Life, both for homophobic reasons (i.e. you made me feel gay and now I'm gonna punish you for it) and for jealousy reasons (start of his number one scott hater arc)

this one's just in the wrong playlist first of all why does he insert this between two waterparks songs. whatever man.

anyway this song's interesting to me because it's literally just about a hot babe getting rejected by some fuck who refuses to be ball-and-chained.

there's two directions this could go imo: one is that this is, once again, evoking joel and jimmy's relationship. Joel acknowledges that he a life with Jimmy would be nice, but he refuses to settle down because it would rob him of his identity/freedom.

the other is that brandy is joel and the sailor is etho, since brandy shows an admiration for the sailor but also an awareness that he loves his job more than her

this storybook like description of how brandy saw the sailor's tales is very smalletho to me idk. very hand-in-hand with joel's child-like view of who etho is.

I don't have much for this one tbh it's pretty much just a love song and Joel really liking waterparks (king)

That being said, there's some fun imagery to play with here:

yellow = jimmy makes a lot of sense (blonde hair, canary imagery, yellow also representing people on their second life in the life series which evokes neither the assumed skillfulness of a late game green name nor the danger of a red name), as does green = joel (the green streak. shrek. yeahg. and while red joel is iconic "green like my insides" could also be read in this context as "deep down, I am safe to be around" which I think is neat)

"natural blue" is a bit harder to interpret (especially considering the original context of this being a joke about Awsten dyeing his hair) but blue is of course scott's colour. this could be read spitefully as Natural blue (was in love with jimmy first) vs scott's dyed hair or it's. joel saying that's he's gay idk man.

"at least I match your eyes" is pretty simple, with both of them having brown eyes, "jealous and hypnotized" once again alluding to some jealousy, likely towards FH again if you believe the blue line is alluding to scott.

however joel has plenty of people to be jealous of in regard to jimmy so. shrugs. hey you can even interpret this line as talking about jimmy's desirability. neat.

there's also this, which again might allude to flower husbands, implying in this fake world I've created that Joel doesn't view them as actually "married"

ok this is getting too long lmao see you guys next time i feel like writing about this stupid fucking playlist again

[musings-ofthe-unamused]

Not Mushroom for Love (Genshin Impact)

Pairing: Tighnari x reader

Word Count: 2.6k

A/N: I love Tighnari he's so cute i just wanna AAAAAAHHHHHH

Tighnari was a hard ass. It was for good reason, sure, but it didn't mean that it annoyed you any less. Another thing that annoyed you was how much you wanted to prove yourself to him. Not only did you want to be a worthy forest ranger, but you wanted to be someone worthy of his love. It was frustrating, not only to be in love with your superior, but to also know he'll never see you the same.

Love was never meant to be, when it came to Tighnari. It was like the two of you were polar opposites. He was smart, consistent, and stern. You were aloof, not the brightest, and tended to bend the rules. You honestly had no clue how you fell in love with him. Was it the way his ears twitched when he was reading a book? The way his tail swung happily from side to side when he was talking about something new he learned? Maybe it was the way he pulled his hair back while doing an experiment? Whatever it was, one day you realized you had loved him. And it was terrible . How can someone as stupid as you love someone as incredibly smart as him?

You had failed your promotion exam. It was the fourth time in the row you tried to become a Forest Watcher. Some people were fine with being Rangers their whole life. But not you. You wanted to make everyone proud. Prove them wrong. You weren't just some stupid Ranger that always got in trouble or made mistakes on tests. Yet here you were, sitting with Collei as Tighnari stood in front of both of you with his arms crossed. 

"You got more questions wrong than the last time," Tighnari shook his head. "I thought you were studying?"

You sighed in frustration. "I am! But for some reason, I can't- the material just doesn't stick."

"Well, it needs to. It can be a life or death situation when you're out there."

You rubbed your forehead in frustration as he turned his attention to Collei. This happened all the time. You barely were able to learn the material to become a Ranger. It was the field test that had given you your position. It was your ability to act fast in a situation and keep your calm that made you keep your position. You stared down at your test, seeing the big marks of ink that glared at you. Mockingly. As you read over your answers, you realized that you did know all of this. So why did your mind always blank when it came to testing?

"Are you listening?"

You were pulled out of your thoughts and raised your head. "Huh?"

"We need to talk about your rescheduled test."

"I can do it tomorrow."

"No."

"Why not?" You frowned.

Tighnari motioned to Collei who looked uncomfortable. "She needs to rest since she's been having more flare ups recently. I think it would be wise of you to use this extended time to think about your path."

"What about my path?"

"Well," His head tilted to the side. "You have been consistently failing in the tests. You don't seem to take in information like the others. We should consider keeping you as a Ranger instead of trying to become a Forest Watcher."

Collei looked between the both of you. She could tell that things were going to get heated. "Uhm, why don't we discuss this at a later time?"

"But Tighnari, I know what I'm doing!"

"Your test scores say otherwise."

"I know my stuff! Can't I have a field test instead?"

He shook his head. "We have standards that we need to uphold. Knowing things in the moment is good, but you need to be able to know this stuff outside of that as well."

"That doesn't-"

Tighnari said your name sternly. "You know we have rules for a reason."

You stood up. "You just don't trust me."

There was a pause. The two of you stared at each other. It would have been easy to follow what Tighnari was saying. He was smart. He knew what he was doing, saying, and teaching. But there was something inside you that left you feeling frustrated. So you wanted to challenge what he thought of you. 

"I don't trust you to go out there alone."

"That's all I needed to hear."

Collei and Tighnari's calls fell on deaf ears as you left. You weren't stupid. You can be trusted. It was your job as a Forest Ranger. You've been doing this for years, for crying out loud. You clenched and unclenched your fists in anger. The one thing you hated about yourself is that you cried when you got angry. It made you seem even more weak and stupid than you already were. You took slow, deep breaths to keep your cool and your tears inside their ducts. The scent of last night's rain made you calm down, only a small bit. You stomped down the path through the village.

"Wait up!" You turned your head to see Tighnari running after you. Your heart skipped a beat. "Why did you leave?"

You tried to not let your feelings for him let you soften. "I need to go for a walk." 

"Can I come?"

"Why?" You huffed as you continued to walk. "Do you not trust me to even take a walk?"

"No," Tighnari spoke in a matter-of-fact voice. "I don't trust you to go off into the forest on your own. You know, a Forest Ranger is even stronger in pairs or more. Not only that, but if something were to happen, you have someone to have your back."

"Forest Rangers go out on solo patrols all the time."

Tighnari sighed. The two of you were now walking precariously over a fallen log. "That's not what I mean."

"Of course not. What you mean is that I'm too stupid to go out on my own."

He stopped. "Is that what you think?"

You turn towards him. "It's what I know. Don't act like you don't want to get rid of me."

"I don't!"

"Liar!" You point towards his chest. "The disappointment in your eyes whenever you see my test scores, the sigh when we go on patrol, the constant lectures. Admit it!"

"Oh please." He rolled his eyes. "Don't be so dramatic."

"I am nothing but a liability to you!" You poked at him again, slowly making stepping forward. 

"Watch it," Tighnari reached out towards you. "Just calm down."

"Don't touch-"

Your words were cut off as you lost your footing on the log. Tighnari called out your name, trying to catch you. Of course, this was why Tighnari didn't trust you to be out alone. Of course the wood was slick. The rain still didn't dry out. A log as big as that one would take a while to become safe to walk across. But it was too late. You crashed through vines and branches. The wind was knocked out of you as you landed on the hard ground. You desperately gasped, trying to get air back into your lungs. You stared up at the sky, the log you fell off of nothing now looking like a faraway stick.

After gaining back a semblance of normal breathing, your training kicked in. Wiggle your fingers. Check. Wiggle your toes. You winced, your left foot sending a shooting pain all the way up to your lower back. Ok, not good. You raised your arms. Some cuts and scrapes, new bruises forming. That was ok, something you can handle. You slowly, very slowly sat up. Your bones and muscles ached. You turned your neck from side to side. It seemed you had no spinal damage, which was a relief. 

"Oh, archons have mercy."

Your left leg was swollen and twisted in an unnatural angle. Adrenaline pumped through your veins, enough to keep the scathing pain of a broken leg away. You took a deep breath. There was no way you could set it on your own, but the least you could do was move it in its right position. The pain pulsated as you slowly turned your calf, and then your ankle. That was when the pain really started to flare up. Tears streamed down your face as you reached into your pack that was snuggly attached to your waist.

"I'll be ok," You whimpered to yourself as you took out an antiseptic balm and started applying it to your cuts and scrapes. "Just don't focus on the pain. Focus on cleaning the cuts. You've trained for this."

"Are you ok?"

Tighnari had already made his way to you. He kneeled down, his eyes searching your body for any terrible injuries. You started to sob. You felt like a child who had fallen and scraped their knee. Your hands tried to desperately wipe away the tears to no avail. Tighnari's arms wrapped around you, pulling you into a hug. 

"Hey, it's ok! It's ok. I'm here."

You clung to his sweatshirt. "I'm so stupid!"

"Shush, no you're not."

"Yes I am. Just look at me-" You pushed him away and sniffled. "I almost killed myself."

"Well," He looked at your arms. "It seems to me that you did exactly what you were supposed to. Now your wounds won't get infected. Good job, Ranger."

You rolled your eyes. "You're just saying that. I wouldn't be surprised if you want to kick me out after this."

"Why do you keep saying stuff like this?" His voice grew dark as he started to wrap your arms up in bandages. "It's- I just…I can't have you out here!"

"Because I'll just do something stupid-"

"No! I don't want you to die out here! Do you know how scared I was when you fell? I could've prevented that. I wasn't fast enough. I couldn't save you in time, and I failed at what I'm supposed to do as a forest watched. I thought…I thought that if you were to die, it would be my fault. Because I couldn't teach you. I was the one who wasn't good enough." Tighnari's ears lowered, and he hid his gaze. "Let me finish bandaging your arm."

Your eyes widened as you stilled. You couldn't speak. If you were more delusional, you would have thought he sounded like he was in love, more than a teacher and coworker. His hands were gentle as he finished fixing you up. He then sat back on his legs and looked at your leg. His breathing was shaky. You swallowed.

"I- uhm…"

"Are you in pain?"

"I would be lying if I said no."

He scooted forward. He took out a pair of shears and snipped up your pants. The gasp he let out sounded even more painful than your fall. "It's definitely broken."

You let out a weak laugh. "You should've seen it when it was all twisted. That was really bad."

"You moved it all by yourself?"

"I'm strong."

"You know you don't have to be," Tighnari looked around and found two sticks. You grimaced, knowing what was coming. "I'm here. I want you to rely on me."

"But I want to prove to you that I am capable of doing things on my own."

"You don't need to prove anything to me." He positioned the two sticks by your calf, pressing them gently against your skin. He took out a thick looking cloth from his bag. "I'm going to wrap some cloth around the ankle first."

"I do. It's because I want you to see me as an equal. Then, maybe, I can confess my feelings for you."

Tighnari suddenly wrapped the cloth around without warning. You let out a shout and fell onto your back, trying not to writhe in pain. Maybe confessing your feelings while he was trying to attach a splint was not a good idea. He glanced at you, then continued wrapping your ankle. He then moved on to the middle of your calf. You balled up your fist and stuck it in your mouth, closing your eyes. Don't pass out. Don't pass out.

"All done." You opened your eyes and saw Tighnari standing. "Ready to get up?"

Your heart sank as he didn't acknowledge what you said. You sat up. "Yeah, sure."

He grabbed your hand and slowly hoisted you up. You tried not to put pressure on your leg, or think about the extreme amounts of pain you were currently in. After wobbling slightly, you were finally upright.

"Lean on me," Tighnari whispered, his arm wrapping around your waist. "I'll keep you steady."

"Well, let's try getting back."

Tighnari didn't answer. Instead, his free hand reached up to grasp your chin and move your face towards his. The only thing you could think of was how soft his lips were. They tasted of a floral balm that you've seen him put on countless times before. You leaned into him and his grip on your waist tightened. It wasn't long before you were breathless. 

"Are you still in pain?"

You shook your head. "N-no."

"Good. Let's go. I'll make sure to get you back quickly so you can get proper care."

It was silent as the two of you started slowly traversing through the forest. Your lips craved his again. Your heart craved his affection, his love. It was full knowing that he had confirmed his feelings. It didn't seem like him to act like this. But love made people act out of character.

“Do you know when I first fell in love?”

"Hmm?" You glanced at Tighnari who decided to finally break the silence. A blush creeped across your face as you registered the word 'love'. “When?”

“When you became a junior ranger. We were on our first outing as a group. You always had a habit of straying, but seeing your eyes wide with wonder as you asked me every single question you could…how you listened with the utmost attention, the way you complained when I told you to be quiet, how you would recklessly touch something without knowing what it was-“

“Wait. Isn’t that something you hate?”

“I could never hate anything about you. Because it is you. I don’t want you to be different.” He looked off to the side as if this was something he'd kept hidden for a while. "You'd make a great Forest Watcher one day. I care for everyone. I care for you. But I guess love got in the way of me being an actually good teacher. I should have realized that testing just isn't the method for you to learn things. I should've taken a different approach. Because of me, you started to doubt yourself."

"Tighnari…"

"I have strong feelings for you. I want to go about it properly. Relationships are something that are built slowly. And I want to spend all my time with you."

"Are you asking me out?"

You forced out a pained smile. "That's very sweet of you, Head Forest Watcher."

"You sound upset. I also wanted to apologize for how I've been treating you. It wasn't fair."

"I appreciate that…" You trailed off. Ghandarva Village slowly came into view and you sighed. "I only sound upset because I'm in immense pain."

"Oh." Tighnari's ears fluttered. "Right. As soon as we get back, you need to be on bed rest for at least six weeks. After that, we can talk about your promotion."

You leaned your head against his shoulder. "Thank you, Tighnari."

"No complaints?"

"I think I'm going to rely on you a little more."

"I'll always be by your side." 

You smiled to yourself. Just like the forest, there needed to be a balance to everything. Tighnari was there to make sure you had someone to fall back on when you got in trouble. You were there to push Tighnari out of his comfort zone. Previously, you had thought that being opposites meant that you weren't compatible. But you two fit together like pieces of a puzzle. It was meant to be.

[ninja-knox-ur-sox-off]

No one:

Absolutely no one:

Me: i think pre-journey Sun Wukong is an alcoholic

Hello yes, as previously stated, on my first re-read of jttw, this time reading it out-loud to my brothers and I gotta say i’m noticing WAY more this round. It’s slow going but we just read chapter 5 and I have not stopped thinking about it. (This is completely unedited and written in one sitting after cleaning for like four hours so forgive me for my grammar mistakes or any misremembered stuff, I’m swirling thoughts around in my head like orange juice in a wine glass.)

Chapter five is when he gains the title of Great Sage Equalling Heaven, gets the job of peach watcher, eats said peaches, crashing the banquet, drinking the wine, eating the pills, heading back to FFM, heaven surrounding Flower Fruit Mountain and basically laying siege and the subsequent battle. All the Yaoguai generals get captured and the only ones who are left are The Great Sage and his monkeys. As I’m reading this out loud to my brothers, I notice there’s a tone shift. To be honest I thought I was imaging it but MAN this is where Monkey King changes. Like, up to this point, he’s been pretty chill in all honesty. He’s thrown his weight around, he’s been a little unhinged, but there’s been a childlike wonder about him and just a genuineness in everything he does. He’s loved learning, he's loved people, he’s loved making friends. Even at the start of the chapter, he just loves hanging out with the celestial deities that they don’t think he should be socializing with, hence why they give him a job.

And the rest of the chapter he’s just drinking. He just keeps going and going and laughing and laughing. And he shares the wine with his monkeys and his demon brethren and when heaven comes knocking and his monkeys are panicked he waves them away. The mountain is surrounded? We’re being threatened? It’s fine, it’s fine, have another cup! Have another cup! He keeps drinking until they break his door down, and like a drunkard he stumbles to his feet yelling about how rude that is and goes and beats them easily. Because he’s so immortal now he can drink as much as he wants and get drunk enough on immortal wine that he should be dead but all it does is make him more and more immortal and more and more drunk. He’s different at this point. The tone shift is the most prominent when he comes back and his monkeys tell him all the yaoguai sworn brethren and their armies and people have been captured. They cry and then they laugh because he is unharmed as ever and they’ve lost everyone else. And from once caring about the community and those under his rule, suddenly the Great Sage’s reply is that it’s fine because no monkeys were taken. Let’s eat and sleep. And drink. He has no concept of when or how to stop. He drinks wine.

Then he gets his hand on the immortal wine. And, listen. He’s already gotten the peaches by this point. He’s a little off already, but he still has that just… lack of object permanence that he always has when he’s in heaven, but he still seems pretty Monkey King. Up until the wine. Then things start to shift. He gets his hands on the immortal wine and he gorges himself on it. He’s already taken the best of the best of the peaches and left the rest, likely because they can’t compare. And now he’s gotten the best of the best wine. The best of the immortal, celestial, heavenly wine. You cannot get better. And he just keeps drinking it. He drinks until he’s so drunk he gets lost on his way back to the peach orchard. He’s so drunk he stumbles into Lao Tsu’s palace and just… eats immortal pills like fried beans. Just pops three gourds of it into his mouth one by one until they’re gone. He was so drunk that once he starts to sober up, he panics a little. He panics and he leaves. He runs back home because he knows he’ll be in trouble. And when he gets back home, a couple centuries have passed and they throw a party like always to welcome him back, having been dutifully waiting for him the whole time. And he tastes the wine and it’s disgusting to him. His monkeys tell him he’s tasted heavenly food and wine, nothing on the mountain can compare to that now. And without even a second thought, he goes right back to the place he just fled from, just barely sobered up, and he steals a bunch of the wine that he didn’t get to and brings it back.

I wonder how much of chapter 5 he spends drunk out of his mind. Just barely sober enough to process his mountain is at war again. He’s so immortal by this point, it’s no wonder he’s so confident he’ll win. He probably feels as immortal as a thousand suns and moons. A couple thousand demons are nothing in the face of that. It’s fine. He was already loud and confident in his power by this point. I still can’t believe the Jade Emperor just put a monkey right next to the most delicious peaches ever and didn’t expect him to eat any of them. Like, genuinely bro wdym you didn't see this coming. That’s like giving a kid their favorite cookies and saying to look after them but don’t eat any of them without giving them an end time frame of when the watching ends or telling them if they get to eat any or not. I have such a rudimentary understanding of jttw at times, I’m not a super deep thinker, I do think about stuff, but other people’s takes are definitely gonna be more complex that mine. Reading chapter five and remembering when he was nabbed and escorted to the afterlife, I can’t help but look at this monkey and think maybe he would have done a few things differently if he was thinking clearly. Because I don’t think he was entirely there during chapter 5. I think he wasn’t focused or thinking about anything beyond beating the guy in front of him and getting back to another cup of heaven. It feels like Sun Wukong is missing. He’s still there, he’s powerful beyond comprehension, but it feels like he’s missing. His return to his monkeys after a battle doesn’t really feel triumphant. I have such a visual of him descending in his armor and looking like a god, untouched and pristine. But he remains untouched, even by their reports of their allies being captured. He feels untouchable.

Most of this is just me rambling, but clearly Sun Wukong had an alcohol problem before chapter five when he pretty much drank himself to an early grave then fought his way back to life. With Immortal wine though, there’s none of that need to end, there’s no hangover, just bliss. And boy does it show. I’m not sure if this was intended in the writing but OUGH I haven’t stopped thinking about the change that comes over Sun Wukong when he gets his hand on the wine. When he’s in heaven that’s all that matters. All that matters is that he has the best of the best. His monkeys are always there and praising him if he ever wants to come back. He doesn't even bother to think about how his absence affects them. He cares that he wasn’t invited to a party. He cares about his monkeys, we know this. But by gosh if he doesn’t feel like an untouchable deity in chapter 5. No wonder this dude felt like he could take on Buddha. I don’t think there’s a minute during the Havoc in Heaven where Sun Wukong is sober. He’s drunk on the agony of immortality. It’s in his bones and not even a furnace used for that very thing can burn it out of him. Sun Wukong is a hundred thousand suns and moons.

But Buddha is everything.

And that’s how he’s beaten.

I’d say a couple hundred years is enough for some of that immortal wine to burn through that monkey’s system. It’s putting him in a, albeit very harsh, time-out. It makes a lot of things make some more sense when I’m thinking about it from the view of an addict. The circlet is about self control. Once he has it, once he’s more at peace, it vanishes on its own because he doesn’t need it anymore. He doesn't need that 30 days sober chip taped onto his forehead to remind him every time he sees his reflection in a bottle. Sun Wukong is very smart, but he doesn’t really bother with self-control. It gets in the way of having fun. He drank wine and didn’t bother with any inhibitions or self-restraint. He did whatever he wanted whenever he wanted however he wanted with whoever he wanted. Why control himself or his cravings or killings or anything of the sort? Drink more wine! Laugh! Have fun! Meet people! Come get drunk with him! Why bother with decorum or etiquette or anything of the sort? He’s fine with how things are until people start to look down on him, and then he feels the need to prove they can’t do that.

Okay, I’m rambling now and thinking about the potential of modern retellings with this kind of approach so I think I’ll end it here for now. I’m just thinking very hard about alcoholic Sun Wukong and am going slightly insane over it. Yeah, other people have probably pointed this out before, it’s probably so common, it’s just my first time really thinking about it and I find it so heckin neat. WHAT A GREAT BOOK YOU GUYS. Alright, enough of that for now, I’ve gotta get ready for bed and do prep stuff for tomorrow so, have a goodnight you guys, Knox out o7

[anewnewcrest]

"It's persecution, I tell you!"

"What have you done now, Max?"

"Nothing! I did nothing wrong! And the university wants to suspend me!"

"... Max!"

"Well, I may have called Piper Jones a slut, but she is a slut! She's a product of fornication and adultery! She should not be going to university! University is for Watcher-honoring people!"

"You can't insult people like that."

"But it is the truth! I was only telling the Watcher's truth, why are they punishing me for that?"

"Because you're acting like an A-grade asshole, Max. You want to be a politician. You need to make people like you, not alienate Henrietta Jones."

"But she's a fallen woman!"

"What does that have to do with anything, Max? This is politics. And she's rich, she knows a ton of people, and you just made your life ten times harder if you want to get elected!"

"This is religious persecution! They are punishing me for being a real man, who tells the Watcher's painful truth! Like my father does!"

"Nobody cares, Max."

"But... but you're a follower of the Watcher! You have to care! My father..."

"Look, do you want to get elected one day, or not? Because if you want to, you have to cut that crap right now. I worked hard to make sure you're going to college, don't fuck it up."

"But... my father..."

"Max, your father is good at what he does, but he is no politician. If you want to be one, you have to listen to people who know what they're doing."

"But my father..."

"I'm sick of hearing about your father. Look where listening to him got you!"

"But... Prissy..."

"I married you, Max. You should remember that the next time you're doing something stupid, because there are perks to having a wife, and I can take them away."

"You mean... no sweet fellowship?"

"Exactly. And we're going shopping. I can't do a thing about you acting like an idiot, but by the Watcher, you won't look like one a single day longer."

Later...

"Ugh. Fine. Whatever. I give up."

[ethicaltreatmentofcowplants]

sulani: night of day four, household two's rotation - part i

note: completely au. featuring homebrand leo (with @akitasimblr's permission) - and a very special guest. cw for character death. thanks again to @ravingsockmonkey for bo, and for providing me with some input and ideas <3

"Oh, plum it all. First someone died, and then the very next morning I had to strike perhaps the most annoyingly decent person I’ve ever had the misfortune to meet with lightning. Which sounded funny in the writing room and she was fine but everyone was terrified. Watcher, why did you sign me up for this?"

(possesses)

"What the plum, Watcher?"

"Hello. I'm your worst nightmare. Also - boo."

"AHHHHHHH!!!! FUCK! Dude - why?"

"Also that is like the cheesiest line ever. You need to workshop it a little, is all I’m saying."

"The water on the rug, could you just not?"

"WELL I DON’T KNOW, ARSEHOLE, COULD YOU HAVE NOT LET ME DROWN?!?"

"LISTEN, THIS HASN’T EXACTLY BEEN EASY FOR ME EITHER."

"Oh, boo hoo, my death has been hard on you? Was striking Araminta by lightning and watching your brother cry over my grave hard on you too?"

"Well, actually-"

"Shut the fuck up, dude. You know, I thought that maybe being filthy rich is why you see people as disposable - like my mom did. But then I met Minty and she’s like the kindest person ever. And your brother turned out to be a good guy too. And your parents seem cool. So clearly this is you. All you. You chose to be this way."

"Listen please. I’m sorry. I am so, so sorry. Just please please please let me get some sleep so that I can actually try and figure all this out. I’ve been having nightmares as it is."

"Oh, poor little rich boy up in his swanky suite having nightmares due to his own fuck up. Why don’t you go down and complain about how hard your life is to your brother and everyone else currently sleeping on the ground and scraping for food on a deserted island? Why don’t you discuss your nightmares with my uncle, who had to watch me die on TV?"

"At least you still have a life. And I’m going to make it a misery…"

(screams in sheer terror)

"Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a starlight accolade award to haunt…"

"WHERE IS MINTY???"

"Watcher, why on earth am I here?"

[minicy]

Really resent my culture's relationship to food. Food as a commodity, as something to be grown not to be eaten but to be sold overseas and to rot uneaten in fields and behind grocery stores. Food as a comfort, one of few things you get to actually choose and indulge in, and the least healthy choices are the ones that are easiest to buy and consume. Food as a point of control, you can't buy food if you don't sell at least so many hours of life to the Machine, and then what you do get as someone at the bottom of the hierarchy is dictated by others- paternal lawmaking, or arbitrary restrictions, or food given that is unpalatable or outside of your culture or that you don't know how to prepare. Food as a product, what you want is what we have paid for you to want, the food choices you make dictate your marketable lifestyle, the things you eat and drink show your allegiances and your subculture and your sub-subculture, you must eat this much to enter.

Food as a tool for shame is one of the worst offenders. You shouldn't have eaten those things, you should eat this thing instead, why aren't you doing what you're supposed to? You listened to those advertisements and ate what we designed to be as delicious and consumable as possible? You're disgusting. Why won't you eat what you're given? You're ungrateful. Why would you have that carb? Sorry, why would you eat that meat? Sorry, why would you eat anything besides meat? Then, food as a punishment: you must eat the unpleasant thing in unpleasant ways, or else you are irresponsible and deserving of great cruelty. Or, you must not eat anything, or else you are weak willed and deserving of great cruelty. Or, you need to get better, since eating disorders are a feminine problem, a mental health problem, a physical health problem, and being unhealthy is immoral, and unhealthy people are deserving of great cruelty. Why can't you just be normal? By the way, your entire workplace is going keto this month. Your friend is intermittent fasting. Your parents are back on Weight Watchers. Why can't you just be normal?

Then, the way white supremacy permeates it all. Different is disgusting, new is untrustworthy, flavor is unhealthy. I feel like I've been so much better since I started clean eating. That MSG gave me migraines. No, I don't mean from chips, those are fine, I mean from all the stuff they put in Chinese food. Not sure if I want to go in on some tacos, my stomach can't handle it, haha. You know that fried food is always unhealthy, right? And unhealthy is always immoral. Did you eat your vegetables today? Oh, no, of course curry doesn't count. Those vegetables were seasoned and cooked. Processed vegetables don't count. You should have a salad with that, then. You should try this quinoa salad I made. You should really be using agave instead. You should really try out this cleanse.

Food as an entitlement, too, for those with the power in this culture. Violence waged over tropical fruit. Panic over access to anything wanted at any time being interrupted, not even halted. A lack of willingness to change even the smallest amount of their diet when they find out it's killing our planet to farm this many steer, or catch this many fish (and their habitats and the bycatch), because I want steak god damnit, it's a free country!

We're sold poison for our binges and diets for our purges. Our options are growing slimmer, as time is stolen and markets are shuttered and prices continue to go up while packages continue to shrink. Health is kept behind paywalls and sickness is moralized. And somehow, you're the one who's wrong if you don't buy in.

[inthelittlewood]

I'm confused by Grian's motivations. During the Q&A you mentioned the boogeyman being what caused him to disagree with the Watchers which, sure. But that would mean he was fine with trapping people (many of whom being his friends) in death games to harvest negative emotions in the first place which seems contradictory to past statements and brings into question why he was in Third Life at all? I'm trying to figure out if you misspoke or if that was the intended meaning

Sounds like I misspoke probably. This is why I continually answer asks and doing the post season lore streams to hash things out is a good thing, as I'm no kind of trained or practiced author. I have some big narrative beats to hit but aside from that it's as improv as the Life series is to an extent. I'd have to be giga brain to have written all of this just after 3rd Life ended lol

The way I see it currently is Grian was taken on as a Watcher from EVO and at that time, the feeding on emotions was a normal activity. An even spread of good and bad emotions were drawn from, not overly impactful to the player.

As time passed the other Watchers began feeding more on negative emotions and in vastly larger quantities which began to take a toll. Not only were they causing small fragmentation of people's souls but they were stripping away emotions in such a rapid fashion that players lost the opportunity to practice things like forgiveness, empathy and recovery. So they lost out mentally as well as soulfully (is that a word? ha)

Grian was in 3rd Life as a player after he'd decided to part from the Watchers that inducted him. They'd run a few deathmatches already (no idea how many) and it didn't sit well with him the directions things were steering.

His goal so far has been to lighten the mood of these games to 'sour' the feast for the Watchers who at this point, will only accept negative emotions and if at all possible, help liberate the players once and for all.

It's a similar goal to the Listeners, but not exact, so there's been zero communication between the two so far. I think both Grian and the Listeners see each other's meddling as beneficial to the other. They're each making small progress as opposed to a stalemate if they faced the Watchers head on.

Those cracks in the control and armour for The Watchers heightened this past season with the soul channeling of Cleo/Pearl and is why Grian's aura was disrupted and he ended up in a vacant state (during the afk episode)

Does that make sense?

I'll definitely contradict myself at times but it's why I do lore dumps publicly so people can fact check me. This is all just for fun, so keep prodding me y'all :)

[theeldritchcorvid]

TMAGP 21 Thoughts

spoilers below cut

So I actually had to use the transcript for this one instead of listening to it because it's got the sound of a limb being removed and I couldn't take that risk - the one element of Archives that really freaked me out was the bit in Takeaway where a man gets his achilles tendon severed with bolt cutters. It's my one serious content warning - moreso even than spiders. If I can't SEE the spiders it's fine

ANYWAY

Complicated immigration status? this HAS to be TMA Celia. And also YES Sam backstory! He used to be in law!

Okay. Chester Institute Incident. Really need to make the 'what's in the incident and who hears it' post now. And it's SAM'S workstation too! My god! FREDDIE is sending Sam after the institute, just like we thought!

Leonardo Jennings - Treasurer, Institute. Dr Welling (and team) - research of some kind, unknown. possibly spooky

Harnessing potential power in an exhibition is big ritual energy, I'll be real. And in the MILLENIUM DOME TOO?! Wow. Apparently the constellations and astrology are very involved in their research - someone should def get on that connection to the alchemy.

The project is apparently UNIVERSAL TRANSMUTATION. Again, this feels like verse-hopping or a Big Ritual like before. Bigger even than the Watcher's Crown, though much less involved. It may not even be the powers this time.

'Both optimism and despair' implies POSITIVE AND NEGATIVE powers, just like Lena mentioned earlier. We are NOT dealing with the fears this time, I think. We ARE dealing with different powers! The institute cannot be confirmed to be aligned to the Eye any more, put those theories aside.

And there's something already there, too. Another power. Linked to soil toxicity causing people to age to death. This power seems to be entropic in nature. Corruption with respect to time, not our Corruption at all. And there is, the big words:

GRAND RITUAL.

And Alice has clocked it, too. I think her deleting this incident is setting her on a very different path to the others. And she's right, though - but it annoys me. It's like a call of Cthulhu player who refuses to engage with the spooky bits. Then again, she's not aware of her genre. Also, FREDDIE seems to be able to hear her? We knew that, though.

And now to Gwen. So Ink5oul can control tattoos. Any tattoo. Interesting! (and there's the arm-sawing-off - yeah no we're skipping this one for audio. Reading is fine though)

And it's [ERROR]! It can teleport, it seems, and it COMPELLED GWEN. We've only known one thing able to do this... ARCHIVISTS. [ERROR] is an Archivist! And it's linked to the tape recorders!

also this is the first recorder we've seen capable of VIOLENCE. The tape recorder biting Ink5oul is the only spoiler I saw and it's fantastic. And we know the tape recorders are definitively Web.

It is therefore my belief that [ERROR] is from the Archives universe, and is an Archivist captured by the Protocols Magnus Institute to research multiversal transportation. I like to imagine it could be Emma Harvey, as wielding the tape recorders as a weapon suggests joint web/eye affinity, but again - no Powers, that we know of. Yet.

[bridgeportbritt]

Creeksbrey Palace | Umbrage, SimDonia | 10 Days Until the Wedding

Gianni: Family, we have arrived!

Gianni: Oh, you guys are all... at the door... waiting. I guess I should've known.

Bria: Of course, we're all here to greet you and your guest, Gianni. That's not weird.

Gianni: Sure, well. Everyone this is Jennifer. Jennifer, let me introduce to the crew.

Gianni: Starting with the siblings, this is my #1 Pain in the butt, Ella.

Ella: Ugh, ignore him! I'm his most awesome sibling. Hi!

Gianni: This is Rose, my youngest sister.

Rose: Hi! You're pretty! Want to see my new kitchen playset?

Gianni: Later, Rose. And finally, the reasons we've flown out here, my brother, Grayson and his fiancé, Olivia.

Olivia and Grayson: Nice to meet you!

Gianni: And finally, the 'rents. Mom, Dad, you know.

Emmitt: Welcome, Jennifer. Thanks for coming all this way.

Bria: Yes, welcome! We are so happy to have you. Love your outfit.

Jennifer: Thank you! Wow. Hi, everyone! Thanks for the warm welcome and letting me be here. I'm excited to get to know everyone better. You have a beautiful home.

Ella: We're much more excited to get to know the girl that actually likes Gianni.

Gianni: Don't start, Elle.

Bria: Well, bring it in for hugs. How was your flight? Sorry, we couldn't send our jet. They're being real sticklers lately.

Gianni: No worries. Dad's old one is fine. Well, guess it's mine now.

Jennifer: It was great! I've never flown in a private jet before.

Rose: Really? How do you fly to far places?

Ella: Oh my, Watcher, Rose. You can't just ask someone why they don't fly private.

Bria: Please don't see these crazy children as a direct reflection of me.

Jennifer laughs nervously: No, it's okay! An honest question.

Bria: Rose, some people don't have their own planes, so they fly with other people... on other people's planes. You know what, listen to your sister.

Ella: Oooo, that's rare. While I'm up, would you like to see some embarrassing photos of Gianni?

Jennifer: Oh, sure!

Ella: I have so many!

Gianni: Oh my, Watcher.

Grayson: Not regretting this already, are you?

Gianni laughs: You're lucky I like you, man.

Grayson: It's nice to see you, G.

Bria: Ella, stop embarrassing your brother!

Ella: Dang. Don't worry I have plenty more. Another time.

Gianni: Soak it in because you might not be seeing me for a while.

Olivia: Hey, Gianni! Thanks for flying out!

Gianni: Aw, I wouldn't miss it. How's wedding planning? Do you even know what it's going to look like or is that all in momzilla's head over there?

Bria: I heard that.

Olivia laughs: It's going well! Honestly, it's nice having help. And we've been able to... come to compromises.

Grayson under his breath: Not enough.

Bria: Heard that, too.

Bria: Now, while you're here, Jennifer, please let us know if there is anything you need. We want you to be comfortable here.

Jennifer: Thank you, Your Royal Highness!

Bria: Please, all my friends call me Bria. I can tell we're going to be friends. Anyone that makes my son as happy as you seem to is a friend in my book.

Jennifer excited: Of course! Your son makes me so happy, as well! You clearly raised him well.

Bria: Thank you for saying that. I worry about that one. But, if he could pull a girl like you, maybe I didn't fail him!

Jennifer laughs nervously: Thank you.

Gianni: Alright, can we break up this welcome wagon?

Emmitt: How about you two head up to your room and get settled?

Bria: Yes, we've still got work to do. The rest of the fam will be trickling in in the next couple of days.

Gianni laughs: Back to work, people. There she goes cracking the whip!

Bria: You'll be working, too, sir! Don't get too comfortable!

Before departing, Bria and Gianni share a look which conveys a message only they can hear.

Gianni: So?

Bria: I like her. You did good.

Gianni: Thanks, I do, too.

[obetrolncocktails]

Touch | Josh Kiszka X Plus!Fem!Reader

Warnings: Discussion of being plus sized, allusion to trauma related to being plus sized, "Fat," Minors DNI: graphic sexual content, oral (f., m. giving and receiving), unprotected sex, pullout game, finish in mouth...

Summary: You had spent so many years of your life accepting that you were fat and that you'd be alone forever. If you couldn't have a man that loved you for you, you'd do just fine alone...until Josh Kiszka walked into your life.

Word Count: 2.5K

A/N: this was refreshing to write! Especially since it's been a long time since I've written for you guys. I hope you enjoy this one!!

“Have you tried Weight Watchers? Considered exercise? Keto! I’ve heard people lose like crazy amounts of weight on that diet.”

Diet: A simple, four letter word that was the undoing of your confidence since the fifth grade. “Slow down, you’re eating like a pig,” your mother had said to you one night at the dinner table. She didn’t know how hurtful and lasting her harsh words were, but they still linger today. You still hear her words. Every time you look at social media and step out of the comfort of your home, you’d face the truth that fat people just don’t belong. You’d lived many years within the category ‘fat,’ and had a chronic habit of denying yourself the freedom of genuinely living without giving a fuck what anyone thought. And you thought you’d live that way forever, doomed to repeat the cycle. Until Josh. 

And now, here he was, buried flush between your legs, eating you out the best you’d ever received a man or woman’s mouth. Ever. 

Well laugh it up bitches–because he’s fucking me like there’s no tomorrow in my own bed, in my own apartment. He knows I’m fat–and he LOVES it. Except I’m wasting time feeling sorry for myself. 

“Hey, hey hey,” Josh said, lifting himself off of you and propping himself up on his forearms. “You’re not here right now,” he said, reaching for your thigh to stroke the soft, supple skin. “Should we stop?” He asked carefully, his deep, chocolate eyes searching yours, pulling you from your thoughts back into the dimly lit room where you both lay naked, exposed before one another. 

You shook your head no. “Please no..” You said finally. “I was just thinking…” You spoke, considering if you wanted to pause to have the conversation with him or not. He didn’t resume, but you didn’t really expect him to, either. He knew you too well and was an expert at deciphering you, no matter if you wanted him to or not. He sat up straight, sitting with his legs folded underneath him. 

“Talk to me,” he asked softly. “What are you thinking about?” He reached for your hands and pulled you upright.  You closed your legs and sat up with your legs crossed, debating of whether to tell him the truth. You decided to because you  knew that he cared enough to listen through whatever was bothering you, and he wouldn’t jusde you for it, either.  

“I’m thinking about me being fat,” you blurted, feeling the words spill from your tongue, sparing no thought to smooth over how bluntly they filled the room. 

“Okay,” he said, holding out the last syllable in a matter-of-fact tone. “What about it?” He asked, unaware of the weight that the three letter word had on your tongue and brain for so many years. 

Fat.

“I don’t know, I just kinda sabotaged myself, I think.” Josh reached to secure both of your hands in his. “Started thinking about all the hateful shit people have said to me and I just kinda got distracted.”

“Did I do something to make you think about those things?” He asked softly, his tone completely neutral. He hadn’t done anything, no. But he did touch you. His hands had smoothed over every inch of your body. Every roll, every divot, and imperfection was caressed, kissed, and admired by him. Even so, it took everything in you not to wince when his fingertips grazed the parts of your body you wished you could hide, conceal, chop off… 

“No, you didn’t do anything,” you told him. “You touched me.” 

His gaze muddied with confusion, because duh! Of course, he had touched you. “You don’t understand,” you continued. “You touched me tonight in places that I would never let anyone even look at. You touched my belly a few minutes ago and it made me start to overthink,” you explained, feeling both embarrassed and stupid. Nonetheless, you needed him to know, so you kept going. “It made me think about all of the awful things people have said to me. Done to me. Even my own mother.” You averted eye contact with him for a moment before looking back at him. “It wasn’t you, I promise. I’m sorry.” 

You hadn’t noticed, but the entire time you spoke, his thumbs softly stroked the skin of your hands as he held them, silently listening to every word, watching your every move. He let silence drift through the room for a long moment before speaking again. “Y/n, you don’t ever have to apologize to me for being honest,” he assured you with understated intensity. “Never–and I’m so sorry you’ve gone through those things. I wish I could take that pain away from you, but I can’t,” he said honestly–and he was right. He couldn’t undo the years of scrutiny you’d been given. 

“But I can tell you and show you how much I love your body,” he said, his eyes deepening. “I won’t touch anything that makes you feel insecure, but I want you to know. I don’t care that you’re fat. I don’t care what you weigh. I don’t care what you eat. I don’t care if you exercise. I only care that you know that you are wanted. Very, very much, might I add.” The final words came out of his mouth hungrily, and looking up at him you could see his cheeks clearly flushed with need. 

You looked into his eyes, and he didn’t waver. With the depth of his gaze, you knew he was telling the truth. He wanted you in this moment, but you needed to let him in. You sat for another moment before declaring, “Then show me. Show me, Josh.” You said, opening yourself back up to him. 

“May I touch you again?” He asked first, verbally requesting permission from you. 

“Anywhere.” 

“Anywhere?” He nodded as if to convince himself that he heard you correctly. 

“Anywhere,” you affirmed, pulling him by his arm to once again take you with his mouth. And just like that, he was on top of you, his mouth on yours in a breathy kiss. His lips and tongue tasted of you, surging more warmth between your thighs as his approach intensified, his lips breaking from yours to travel down your neck to the swell of your full breasts, his tongue finding and circling around an erect nipple, flicking it playfully in his mouth before applying gentle suction. Next came his fingertips; His hand had wandered undetected, landing between your thighs, his fingertips fluttering gently upon your clit and folds, deftly rolling soft spirals around the bud, collecting and dispersing a thick layer of of your own slick upon the sensitive skin. Your back arched reflexively against his touch and you bit at your bottom lip as he pressed his weight against your body, holding you down against the bed. His lips dragged from your tits to your belly, sucking hot wet kisses onto the supple skin however and wherever he pleased, determined to leave proof of being there.

“Still okay?” he asked in a low, husky murmur. 

“Absolutely. Don’t stop,” you nodded enthusiastically, squeezing his free arm. You fell back against the pillows, closing your eyes as you traced his movement, creating a map of where he has been, and where he has yet to go. He moved lower and lower until you both knew what was coming next. He teased your entrance with the pad of his thumb, licking, kissing, and flitting his tongue and lips against your swollen clit. The fullness of his thumb felt so good, but it didn’t stop you from wanting so much more, until he surprised you with one finger, then two curling upward inside of you. 

“Mm, so fucking hot and tight on my fingers, Y/n,” he praised you, gasping for another breath. You could hear his lips on your pussy, the sound your wetness made upon his face, tongue and lips as they fucked into you. 

“Fuck, Josh!” you moaned, reaching your hand down to grasp a fistful of his curls in your hand. You could feel his soft stubble beginning to abrase your skin, but it only added to the sensation of the moment. You pulled him against you as if his hair were reins. With the leverage you had, you fucked up into his face with your hips, bouncing as best you could from the bed. Before you knew it, you felt your core swelling with fullness, and you knew you wouldn’t last much longer like this. He scrambled off of the mattress, his hands darting to his belt and pants, getting them off and tossing them to the floor while you waited desperately for his return. When he finally stood naked before you, he needed no preparation; his cock was fully erect and stiff, ready to give you the fuck of your life-the fuck you deserved. He would make love to you later, but now? Now he needed you to know that he found you undeniably sexy and that there was nothing on this planet that could or would stop him from ever wanting or needing you. 

He took his cock firmly in his hand, stroking it a few times before crawling onto the bed and reaching for you to spread your legs and reorient your body. You watched the intensity in his expression-how drawn and downturned his eyebrows had grown as he lined himself up against your hot and slick entrance. You knew he wouldn’t last long once he was inside. He pushed himself into you slowly, and you immediately felt how big he was, and how he filled you completely. You couldn’t help but squeeze your walls around his cock.

“Fuck,” you moaned, watching him wrap his arms around your legs stroking into you slowly, bearing his weight down to fuck into you as deep as he could before backing away and repeating the process. He started slow, his eyes falling shut. He bit his lip as he focused. 

“You are so. Fucking. Tight.” he muttered sloppily as he took in a relieving breath, having held it unintentionally. You responded to his observation by purposefully gripping his cock again. “Fuck!” he moaned, turning his head to kiss the softness of your leg. “Your pussy is incredible.” 

You enjoyed the way the word sounded coming from his lips. As if he owned it. “Say that again,” you ordered breathlessly.

He found your eyes, looking into them as he spoke. “I love your fucking pussy. I love it,” he repeated, withdrawing an arm from your leg to meet your clit with his thumb, rubbing in a slew of patterns to leave you writhing up in down in unexplainable pleasure. 

“Oh fuck. Fuck! Just like that,” you encouraged. “Keep going. Don’t stop. I need more,” you plead with him. 

“I don’t plan to stop, honey. Not until we’re both good and satisfied,” he said in a low growl. His face had turned several shades of pink from exertion, his eyes dropped half open and his mouth had fallen slack as he worked to vary the depth and intensity of each stroke. You wanted all of him and everything he had to offer. 

“Come here,” you said softly. He obliged, lowering himself so that he was flush ontop of you and you lay face to face as he fucked so deftly into you. His lips tasted of salt, mixed with the clean scent of his skin. His hands cradled your face gently, his thumbs caressing your cheeks as his gaze bored through you. You felt his fingertips mussing at the hair at your neck, but you knew he was doing it unconsciously. You could see the emerging orgasm coming; his expression gave it away. Suddenly, he retracted a hand from your face and placed it back between your legs to finger your clit again. His hands moved just right. Just right. He never stayed in one place for too long, and the pressure he placed on your clit and folds as he fucked into you sped your closer and closer to cumming. You were only mere seconds behind him. 

“Cum on my cock, baby,” he huffed raggedly, stroking into you faster, but not too fast–not too hard. He was absolutely perfect in the way he held you, fucking you with his cock and fingers, determined to leave you feeling inarguably satisfied. Your body, like his, was covered in a thick layer of sweat, allowing your bodies to slide against one another in just the right way. 

“Im so close. I’m gonna cum,” you finally groaned. You  reached to grab a fistful of sheets, but his hands shot upward to pull them to his chest instead as he moved into a new position, bearing his weight against his palms as he pounded deeper and deeper into your core. And then there was a fullness raging through your core that you couldn’t control any longer. “Josh-Josh!” You groaned louder, pushing against his chest as if to get him away from you, but he only locked himself more securely to you, looking into your eyes as he drove you off of the cliff. You vision went white as you finally came, as if stars were bursting and fizzing within your veins. Every bodily function seemed to pause in an instant as you arched and writhed helplessly against him, your thighs having a mind as their own as they bucked against his. He finally sat completely upright and pulled his arms around your legs as he threw your body weight against his thrust, sending his cock the deepest it had been. 

“Fuck!” He spat, his face dripping with sweat, his prim curls having fallen in a loose, damp halo as he pounded into you. He pulled out at the very last moment, fisting his cock desperately as he scrambled to your mouth where you took all of him, instinctively rolling your lips around his thick, hot shaft. He held your head in place as he unloaded, thrusting into your mouth. You took it in stride, doing whatever he needed. The noises that came out of his mouth could have made you cum again. He sounded inexplicably vulnerable and blissful as he fell apart above you. You felt his body rock and hitch as he came, and you squeezed his thigh, pulling him in closer. He wasted no time basking in his own satisfaction, though. He lowered himself to kiss you deeply, now tasting himself on your lips as he captured and sealed the last passionate vestiges of the moment. He plastered his body to yours, rolling you around on the bed so that his fingers were knotted deep within your hair, his lips pressed to yours over and over. You slept that night cuddled up to him completely naked. You were tired of hiding, and this man did everything in his power to coax you out of the safe, but unrewarding cocoon you had claimed for so many years. He made you feel beautiful–for all of your imperfections, for the extra pounds, for the funny laugh you couldn’t get rid of, for the poor taste in reality tv shows you had, he had made you feel radiant. You’d cling to that for as long as you could because you knew one thing for certain:

Joshua Michael Kiszka was a real fucking man.

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[ghostlspirit]

|| male!Yandere x gender neutral!reader ||

------------------------

tw: Yandere tendencies (it gets worse progressively yet still pretty tame maybe probably) Embarrassing moments, semi-stalking,

notes: PART 2!! My exams are killing me but this was fun to write lol. Maybe a little cringe at the end, but I'm still new to this so whatever! English is not my first language so sorry for any mistakes or errors. Hope you enjoy~

Masterlist

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You became friends

Well.. If you could call this wierd relationship "friendship". Maybe it's more like "still strangers" or if you're generous, "acquaintances". You haven't spoken since that one morning, not that you minded. If every conversation with him is that awkward and uncomfortable, you'd prefer it the way it is right now. I mean, you still don't know his name and he doesn't know yours.

You still see him regularly by the train station, and when your eyes meet, you give a small smile to acknowledge his presence, sometimes combined with a nod. He always smiles back, with a nod on his own. It's kind of become your greeting. Yet that's all there is, no desire to approach each other or strike awkward conversation, as you guys still mind your own business.

When you're in a good mood, and don't lack the confidence, you even give a small wave or show a peace sign. He always seems to smile brighter after that. You got used to him, and he slowly got used to you too.

What more is there to desire?

Fabian finds you wired, in a good way though? You're just so... normal? Maybe even below normal, but still nothing that strikes you as abnormal. At first, he thought you might be a stalker, or some wierdo with a crush on him. But after the whole spiel of you avoiding him, he thought otherwise. You're just some random person, with a painful case of social anxiety. Like, he judges you, compares you to others and such. Fabian tries to find a reason to stop finding you interesting, trying to find a reason to ignore and avoid you. He kind of has a reason already, (that being your awkward encounter) but he denys it. It doesn't count.

And just when he thought he figured you out, you suprise him the next day. Like today. He thought you were more of a cat person, yet you seem to stare at the golden retriever a little too enthusiasticly. "Maybe you like animals in general?" Or the other time - your habit of drumming with your hands - he thought he figured out your usual rythym, as it seems to be the same one every time. "Maybe your favourite song?" He tried to memorize it, even to a point where he repeated it throughout the day absentmindedly, trying to find the song it's supposed to fit, and annoying his co-workers in the process. Yet he couldn't find it. And the next month it was another rythym, faster and wilder. "Just what songs are you listening to?" Or the one time you nearly fell asleep in your seat, barely being conscious. The next morning you seemed perfectly fine. "You have an inconsistent sleeping schedule...?"

No, this isn't wired. He's just cursed with observant eyes, always noticing the littlest details people often try to hide. No, it's not like Sherlock, and yes, he does have hobbies. He just likes watching people and judge guess what their life is like. What kind of people they are, and what makes them tick.

Because of that, he exells at marketing and sales. He knows what people want or what their dislikes are, and can adapt quickly to that. He's in high position in his department, but not the CEO. Just a well paid office job overseeing and managing the lower ranks. You seem like a mystery to him though. Maybe it's because of his job that he's fallen into this... dilemma...with you. He's never really done this outside of work. Fabian compares this as bird watching, you being the bird and he's the watcher. He's also a perfectionist, obvious by his style - neat and tidy. He doesn't like mistakes or incomplete things, reason why he hasn't quit observing you. He's sometimes upset when you appear with your messy morning appearances. "Another rough morning for you? Or do you just not care about appearances that much?"

Fabian nearly collapsed one morning when seeing you. With your pant zippes open. You're just so??? He wonders how you are still alive! And you seem so oblivious to it too!! He doesn't know if he's supposed to laugh or cry as you give him your signature greeting smile. Your hair is a little messy and your eyes look tired, yet your smile is still very bright in his eyes. He bitterly smiles back, unsure what to do.

Was he supposed to tell you? He can't even imagine how he'll start the conversation. "Hey stranger I sometimes meet in the morning. Your pant zippes are open." - Yeah no way. He has a feeling that with your anxiety, he'll chase you away and you'll avoid him again, permanently this time. But he can't just leave it, right? Who knows when you'll realise, and he can imagine than when you do, you'll never show yourself in public ever again.

Maybe he shouldn't interfere at all. It's not his business after all, right? You both are still strangers, bonded over a simple "Are you okay?" but that's it. It shouldn't concern him that much. He shouldn't care that much. He shouldn't be drawn to you like this.

...

He can't resist, huh?

He can feel himself waking up instantly, using his brain to think of a plan, a strategy. If he doesn't approach you with a plan - who knows what'll happen. You're so unpredictable to him! He takes in other passangers position and determents if they also noticed you too. Seems good, everyone is on their phones. Alright, next. You're sitting, your bag besides you, also on your phone, Headphones in, would it be rude to start talking to you? Maybe it'll worsen your mood. Your pant zippers still open on full display. Wait, are those striped underwear...?

He looks away, blood rushing to his head, not something that happens often. Shaking his head he settles with hinting at it and hoping you get the hint. No-one will see the Interaction hopefully as they're all distracted on their phones. He starts with trying to catch your gaze. He stares, waiting for you to feel his eyes on you so you look up, as that seems to be a skill you have. It doesn't take long and you soon have a staring contest again. You can tell he's trying to communicate something, his gaze serious, but you're no psychic so who knows what he wants. "Is he sick or something?" You tilt your head, showing that you have no clue what he's saying. He uses his hands this time, moving and making silhouettes, you still have no idea what he's saying.

He feels blood rush to his cheeks as he shakes his head. Fabian takes a breather, and thinks again, frustrated that you didn't get the massage. "Better to rip of the bandage." You can tell he's contemplating, and when he makes his way over to you, you just confusedly look up to him. He looks at you again, and you can tell hes kind of... nervous? He points at the seat besides you with your bag, probably wanting to sit down. You make space, maybe he's dizzy?

"Are you okay?" you ask quietly, taking out one headphone as this is a very strange situation, again. You looked worried, perhaps he needs to go to the hospital? "Yeah," he quickly answered, licking his lips, shit you're so nice "Just uh,-" he leans over to you, quickly invading your personal space. You move back a little by instinct, making him stop as he whispered relatively close to your ear, goosebumps rising on your neck "sorry, please don't panic. But uhm, You're, uh, pant zippes are, are open...". Your eyes nearly jump out of their sockets, having a physical reaction to the news as you flinch and instantly check, hunching over yourself trying to hide. Yup, he's right.

"Fuck."

"Sorry" he answered, still whispering, as he places his bag on your lap. It's big but relatively light as it hides your whole lower half. You can tell it's expensive. "Here. No-one has or will notice a thing." He looks away out of respect as you take this opportunity to zip your pants finally shut. When you move his bag to him, he noticed your shaking hands. He takes it and sees you instantly hide your face in your hands, ears flushed and bright red. It's like you want to hide from the whole world.

After a few moments you gained the ability to speak again. "Thank you. Than you So. So. Much." You say with a shaky voice "You saved me again, huh?" Your words are a little rushed and slurred. "thank you.". He tears his gaze away and after a few moments he start to chuckle, then laugh. You shrink more into yourself "Is he LAUGHING at me???? SERIOUSLY?!?" He's holding a hand to his mouth, trying to hold in his laughter.

This is just funny to him. Hilarious even. The way his heart is beating rabidly, the rush of euphoria, your face, voice, messy hair - the whole situation with the zipper. "Sorry, haha - it's just, Its just - Phahaha! Why- why are we like this?" Why is he like this? He looks at you with crinkled eyes, face flushed, he has never felt anything like this before. You frown and reluctantly ask "Like what?". He shakes his head, trying to calm himself. Seriously, this feels like out of a comedy show. He kind of doesn't want it to end. "Awkward, embarrassing, uncomfortable, everything!" He proclaims, moving his hands to prove the point. You groan, now hiding your face in your own bag. If you could, you would have punshed him, but he did basically just helped and looked out for you. "Sorry" Is all you could muster - why must you always be so clumsy? Fabian's laughter died down and he takes a deep breath. "No, it's okay. Glad I could help." he reassures as he looks foward again, his head feels hazy after all that laughing. He really can't predict you, just how he never could've imagine his morning going like this. You're just so unique, so different from others.

You shift uncomfortably in your seat, feeling like you're being crushed by the world. You feel like you could cry, the humiliation weighting you down. Your heart stings painfully. Taking in a shaky breath you move your body away from him, so that he doesn't see the tears that are threatening to fall. He notices your movement from the corner of his eye and watches you. He really wants to know why he's so drawn to you, but he can't just ask something like that, right? Did you put a spell on him or something? Seconds pass and he pulls out his phone.

You rub your eyes, tears nearly falling but when you open them again there's a screen in front of you. Fabian leans in, shoulders nearly touching as he holds his phone to you, and playing on it is a...cat video? Your tears are forgot as you look up to him, noticing his calm face. "Science when did he smell that nice?" He notices your gaze and answer "Watching funny videos always helped me cheer up. Here, this is my favourite."

You put in the headphone he offeres reluctantly. It plays a cat that tries to jump up a snowy car, yet it failed miserably. The cat leaving a quiet meow as it mades the jump this time, puffing up with pride. But after the cat takes a few steps in the direction to the owner the cat slips and falls again, leaving you snickering at the face it makes. You lean in, shoulders are now touching as he notices your scent. His breath catches and becomes a little uneven, his personal space suddenly dissolved, welcoming you in, as you both start watching the compilation of funny videos.

You let your shoulders relax, the morning sun engulfing you two in a nice blanket of warmth. You bask in this moment of kindness from the stranger as you feel cared for and seen. A stark comparison from the treatment at work you get. His stop is coming soon and before he leaves you leave a genuine "Thank you, I really owe you one."

"It was no problem. Enjoy your day. And...be careful."

With a chuckle, a wave and another thanks from you, he leaves by his stop. He doesn't know when you get off as he doesn't stay longer on the train as necessary, but he wished he stayed longer. The moment was gone too soon. He still doesn't know your name, but now he desperately whishes he does.

Would you two be considered friends now?

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Yay! Part two done! He's oblivious to his actions, what could possibly go wrong? I'm gonna start working on part 3 tomorrow and hopefully get it done quicker than this. And thank you for reading! Have a nice day!

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[cupidlovemail]

( genshin impact ) tighnari x reader

reader :: gender-neutral, trainee doctor

genre :: angst, fluff

word count :: 2.9k

warnings :: tighnari gets struck by lightning, severe injuries, burns, blood, scars, mentions of being unconscious

characters :: tighnari, dehya, lumine, collei

Living in the rainforest had its ups and downs. It was fascinating to get first-hand experience and witness all of the flora and fungi it had to offer, however it was also possible that something would go wrong and you would get a very stern lecture from your boss. As a trainee forest watcher specializing in medicinal herbs and remedies, excelling at your job was critical. If something went wrong it was up to you to ensure the safety of the group and keep the situation under control. That is why today, after accidentally spilling a bottle of medicine you had been working on into the river, Tighnari sat you down to discuss the problems you were having.

"Do you have to be so clumsy? What if someone's life was on the line and you dropped all of the available medicine?"

"I wouldn't! It was an accident, the ground was just softer than I thought it would be and-"

Tighnari's sigh interrupted you, causing you to look at your feet in shame. He was a great boss but sometimes you felt like he was harder on you than the others. If Collei accidentally leaves something in camp it's because she is swamped with work, if you do it it's because you're scatterbrained. If another forest ranger trips and drops their food rations it's because the vines were dense in that area, if you do it it's because you're clumsy. Even if you think you are improving Tighnari always manages to find something to nitpick about your performance.

"Well, I guess it'll have to be fine. The medicine didn't contain anything that isn't native to this area so it shouldn't pose any environmental concerns. Just don't do it again." He makes quick notes in his pocketbook, likely documenting everything you did wrong today.

"I'll do better next time!"

"You always say that."

"I really, really mean it this time!"

"You always say that, too. Look, being a doctor is a hard discipline. These negative traits are not going to help you, institutions in the city won't accept it. You can't spill things, you can't panic under pressure, you can't-"

"Do you not trust me, Tighnari?" You ask quietly, cutting him off mid-sentence. You had listened to this speech many times before and did not want to hear it to completion. "I have helped people, I haven't harmed anyone in the entire time I've been here! You make it sound like I can't do anything right!"

"I'm not saying you're useless, I'm just saying you have a long way to go before you can become a real doctor."

"But I am a real doctor! I'm helping people, I'm making my own medicine, and I'm learning so much by being in the forest!"

"You're going to need a lot more experience, but that's why you're here. The other forest watchers are learning too, you're not the only one who needs to improve before they can succeed."

"Sometimes it feels like you don't want me to succeed at all." You mumble, low enough that any normal human would not have been able to pick up on it. Upon noticing Tighnari's ear twitch, however, you sense you've made a mistake and he lets out a long sigh.

"Look, I'm sorry. Why don't you take tomorrow off? Come back feeling refreshed, we all deserve a break now and then."

You decide to take Tighnari up on his offer, slowly trudging back to your house in Gandharva Ville. This time you wait to grumble under your breath until you are a safe distance away from his ears that pick up everything you don't want them to. With your back turned you don't notice the way Tighnari watches you leave, his tail swishing behind him and a worried expression on his face.

You collapse onto your bed, not realizing how tired you really were after a long day of getting in trouble. It takes all of your willpower to unpack your medicine bag onto your desk and change out of your adventuring outfit before falling asleep as soon as you get under the covers.

You wake up at the crack of dawn out of habit, ready to head into the forest on patrol as usual. You yawn, noticing a note left on the nightstand beside your bed.

"I'm going to Pardis Dhyai for the day, I've left Collei in charge. If you need anything, ask her.

Don't forget you have the day off.

- Tighnari"

You have to reread the note twice in order to comprehend what it was actually saying. It was rare for Tighnari to suddenly leave on such short notice, he liked to create a schedule and stick to it so you imagined something urgent must have come up. This, however, was your excuse to fall back asleep without being bothered. If Tighnari was being so insistent that you get some rest, why not take him up on his kind offer? You quickly fall back asleep, excited to have the rest of the day to yourself.

The curtain on the front of your home was frantically pushed aside, a flustered and panting Dehya leaning against your door frame. The commotion caused your eyes to snap open and you sat up, rising instantly from the bed to meet her where she stood. Forest watcher training taught you to be quick on your feet in an emergency, something that was paying off now.

"You," She paused, gasping for air. "You need to come now."

"What happened? Who's hurt?" You ask, watching as Dehya hunched over to rest her hands on her knees. "Did you run here? Where were you?"

"Pardis Dhyai. It's Tighnari." As soon as his name left her lips you were already hurriedly shoving herbs and other medicinal materials into your knapsack. Trying to be gentle with them was out of the question, the mere thought that Tighnari might be in any sort of danger left you to throw all rationality out the window. Just as you swung one strap of the bag over your shoulder Dehya grabbed your wrist, pulling you behind her and insisting that there was no time to waste.

The two of you sprinted as fast as you could down the dirt path that led from Gandharva Ville to Pardis Dhyai, the dust gradually turning into heavy mud at your feet. Dark storm clouds billowed above your heads and the crackling of thunder grew louder the closer you got. Despite not being as athletic as Dehya due to your different lines of work, the anxiety welling up in your heart caused you to keep a steady pace with her the entire journey. When the large arch marking the entrance to the research facility finally came into view the hair on your arms was standing up due to the electric charge in the air. Leading you to the main building, Dehya stepped aside to catch her breath as you were greeted by a worried Lumine.

"You're here!" She exclaimed, motioning toward an injured Tighnari on the ground.

Rushing over, you instantly dropped to your knees beside him. His breathing was ragged and he was struggling to keep his eyes open. His hair was frizzier than you had ever seen it but his ears still flicked toward the sound of your footsteps.

"He was fighting the Fatui with Dehya when..." Lumine trails off behind you, sighing quietly. "Lightning."

"Oh, thank the Archons that you're conscious." You breathe out a sigh of relief, digging around in your bag. "Where was he struck? Did he walk here? Did someone carry him?"

"He walked, Dehya only helped steady him. Why?"

"I'm checking for broken bones, if he can walk his lower body should only be fractured at the worst." You run your hands along Tighnari's arms, feeling for anything out of place. Moving up his body, you take his face in your hands and slightly move his head back and forth to test his neck. "Does this hurt?"

He quickly averts his gaze and shakes his head. You pull both of his pant legs up to see blood already scabbing from his knees down, likely due to the impact of hitting the ground after the initial shock. Tighnari shook in pain slightly as you cleaned the numerous cuts along his legs and applied medicinal bandages to stop the bleeding before you began working on the rest of his injured form. Lumine watched silently from behind you and Dehya stood near the doorway, seemingly keeping her eye out for anything else that could go wrong.

You could feel Tighnari's eyes watching you as you worked, expert hands moving their way up his body to search for any imperfections that needed to be addressed. Your normal nervousness had completely faded away and you acted like a professional. If he didn't know better Tignari would have assumed you were a licensed doctor and not still in the middle of your training. Each time you glanced up to make sure he was still conscious he looked away, refusing to meet your gaze for even a second.

By the time you got to his chest you requested that he remove his top to ensure you were not leaving any part of him left untreated. As soon as he shrugged it off, however, you could not stop the gasp from escaping your mouth. Starting from his right shoulder was a large, burning lighting strike pattern carved into his skin. The top of his shoulder was the worst, his skin was charred and peeling heavily due to the friction from his shirt. The lines trailing onto his back and chest got less severe the further down they stretched, but they were still a horrid color and smelled of burnt flesh. Tighnari tipped his head backwards and screwed his eyes shut, giving you full access to begin applying the medicinal poultice to his burns.

Lumine had stepped out of the building at this point, whether it be from the smell of burning flesh or because she was unsure how to help was unclear. The storm began to settle, the sound of thunder fading into obscurity in the background. Dehya took Lumine's place, kneeling beside you and occasionally passing more sterilized gauze when the ones in your hand became too dirty to use. Tighnari squirmed each time you touched the medicine to his wounds and you almost felt bad for him. Between the reassurance that he was still alive and your rigorous training taking over you had no time to focus on how either of you was feeling, the anxiety in your chest had long since faded and your job was the only thing on your mind. You silently thanked yourself for pulling so many all-nighters in the Akademiya reading textbooks and taking practice quizzes. While nothing could come close to hands-on experience, being able to recall specific information just when you needed was proving to be very useful. Once the final dressing was applied to his chest, you wiped your hands on your pants and let out a long sigh.

"That should be okay, the bleeding has stopped and I've looked at every part of the burn I could see. I'll have to change the bandages later but for now... for now, he's okay."

"Do you think it would be alright for us to take him back to Gandharva Ville?" Dehya asked, standing up and stretching her arms above her head.

"I think so, as long as we're careful. I don't want him walking alone though, can you help me Dehya?"

"I'm injured, not dead. I can walk." Tighnari says, speaking up for the first time. He stubbornly rises to his feet, leaning against the wall to steady himself as he catches his breath.

"You could be dead." You say, frowning at him. "Dehya and I will help you."

Still not meeting your gaze, Tighnari latches himself solely onto Dehya as she wraps her arm around him to hold him upright. You pause, quickly packing any unused materials into your bag and safely discarding what you didn't need. With the sun almost peaking through the clouds now, it was hard to imagine that such a terrible storm had occurred just brief moments ago. Or had it been hours? You reach up to rub your eyes, feeling as if you were waking up from a long nap. Being focused for so long in such a tense situation drained much of your energy and the trip back to Gandharva Ville was long and arduous.

Tighnari lay in his bed with a light blanket pulled up to his chin. His ears were flattened against the pillow and his normally soft hair was sticking out in all different directions. His breathing, while still ragged and uneven, had calmed down significantly since being in Pardis Dhyai and he was less restless overall. You had stepped out of the room to fetch clean water in order to change his bandages that had already been soaked through with blood. As you re-entered, his head turned away and he began to stare blankly at the wall. Sinking into the chair next to his bed with a sigh, you reached forward to move his bangs out of his eyes.

"How are you feeling, Tighnari?"

"Fine." He says curtly, still making no effort to look your way.

In the entire time you had known him he had never been this cold toward you and, with less of a life-threatening situation on your hands, your emotions began to re-emerge. He constantly told you that you needed to practice more before becoming a real doctor. Your emotions got the better of you, you could be clumsy at the worst times, and it was not uncommon for you to panic when the situation was tense. All of these factors were unfitting for a doctor, he insisted, so you continued to train in Gandharva Ville. And now, just after the two of you had an argument, you were the one sitting beside him as he slowly healed from his burns. What made you think you had the right?

"Tighnari?" You ask quietly, waiting for a response that he never gives. You notice the way his ear flicks as you talk, your only indication to keep going. "I'm going to go to the Akademiya tomorrow. I'll see if they have any doctors available to come and help you recover."

"No!" His gaze finally snaps to yours, a pained expression on his face. "You're my doctor."

"That's exactly why I'm going to see if there's anyone better available-"

"You just saved my life, what makes you think you aren't a good doctor?" He fully turns to face you now, wincing when the right side of his body touches the bedding.

"W-well, I'm still nervous. I almost panicked when I saw you on the ground, I didn't know what to do. I-"

"But you didn't. You didn't panic. You did everything exactly like you were supposed to, I couldn't have done better myself." Words of praise were rare from Tighnari and it caught you off guard. This time you were the one to look away from him, suddenly feeling embarrassed due to the intense way he was staring at you. Shuffling your feet, Tighnari let out a sigh when you didn't answer and relaxed back onto the bed.

"Do you know why I was so hard on you?" He said after a few moments of silence, his voice unusually soft. "Because you have so much potential. If you keep working I have no doubt that you'll be one of the best doctors Sumeru has ever seen. And... I was being selfish. If you're a full-fledged doctor, you're going to have to leave Gandharva Ville someday. There are much better opportunities in the city, it would be a waste to not take your talents there."

"Tighnari..."

"Well, now you know. Can we get this over with, please?" He gestures towards the pile of bandages sitting in your lap, pulling the bed sheet down to reveal what little part of his chest wasn't covered in either scars or gauze.

"Tighnari, I wasn't planning on leaving Gandharva Ville." You say, causing him to stop moving. He balls up the blanket in his fists and you can see the flaky skin move against the dressing on his shoulder. At least his home smelt less like burnt flesh, you opened every window he had to ensure it didn't become suffocating.

"That wouldn't be smart." Is all he says, now staring directly at his hands. "You have no reason to stay here."

"I have you."

His cheeks flushed a visible shade of pink and his ears began to twitch before he brought his left hand up to his mouth, trying to cover his face. "You can't just say things like that."

"I mean it. I'm happy staying here for the rest of my life. I love being so close to the forest, and I love working with you." Your eyes meet and you hope that he can see the seriousness in your expression. You stare at each other in silence for a moment, Tighnari's face getting redder with each second that passes.

"If you wanted me dead you should have just left me on the floor at Pardis Dhyai." He joked, something he always turned to when conversations became too serious for his liking. You decided to let him get away with it this time, he was going to be bedridden for weeks to heal from his burns and you did not want to add any more stress to his situation.

"Don't worry, I'll stick around. I am your doctor after all."

[kinsearching]

Hello! You said that there is no limit to the amount of source calls per ask, so I hope this is okay.

🐑 Greetings! You may call me Lambert. I am a fictive of the Lamb from Cult of the Lamb. I am looking for just about anyone from my source. My account is @/the-sweet-shepherd

🍴 I am Kris. Me and Noel, who is a Noelle fictive, are looking for people from our town + anyone from thr Dark World. We are especially looking for Susie, Ralsei, and Lancer.

🌌 Hello. You may call me Lavender. I am looking for fellow Watchers, specifically of the Evo variety. You do not only have to be a Watcher Grian such as myself. Life Series people are also acceptable. I will also accept Listeners. My blog is @/an-eternity-spent-watching

♋ KARKAT HERE. WE ARE LOOKING FOR THE BETA + ALPHA KIDS FROM HOMESTUCK. BY WE I MEAN ME AND KANAYA. SHE SAYS Hello There.

😈 Hello! I am Bad, a QSMP fictive of Badboyhalo! I am looking for anyone from QSMP plus any form of Skeppy! I miss him... Our account is @/a-horn-a-hat-a-wing

❌ Etho here. I am looking for my friends from Hermitcraft + Team Canada, specifically Gem, Tango, Skizz, Cleo, Bdubs, Impulse, and Pearl. Though anyone else is fine too. My account is @/oh-snap-snappers

💛 Hello! I'm a N fictive from Murder Drones! Me, V, and J are looking for anyone from our series! Wow it's weird to say that...

💎 Should be the last one I think. This is Scott, specifically from Empires SMP Season 2. I am looking for Owen, Lizzie, and Sausage from my source. Though I will accept just about anyone. My account is @/arent-i-a-pretty-gem

Anyone who didn't mention their own account is fine with being messaged through @/crow-bow . Please send these accounts an inbox message as we feel uncomfortable with DMs that we don't initiate. We are bodily 19, so we prefer that people who are adults interact with us please. Thank you for your time, and have a good morning/afternoon/evening.

.

[ephemeral42]

I’ve been thinking about how both the DSMP and the QSMP have affected my life.

I found the DSMP in 2021, so while I wasn’t an early early watcher, it was a big part of my life through Covid, moving, school and a bunch of other stuff. I found these creators who were just online having fun, and I lived through them.

Phil was the first person I started watching, and then it spiralled off to Techno, Tommy, then Tubbo, then Ranboo, then a bunch of others. I caught up on the lore, I watched streams, videos, joined Reddit communities, and it was a big part of my life. It definitely impacted my journey on the internet and in the real world. I would say I partly grew up on the internet.

I stopped watching for a bit. Life got in the way. I was still an avid YouTube watcher, but missed a lot of streams because of my timezone. I caught a few now and again. From what I could tell, DSMP was coming to a close. ‘That’s fine!’ I thought. ´They’ll be back soon. It’s not like everything else will stop as well.´ I had found Hermitcraft and Empires and a bunch of other stuff to watch, so I had mainly moved onto YouTube.

Then Techno died. And I launched right back into his community. I read every MrTechnodad Reddit post, watched every video of streamers talking about it, watched the whole of Phil’s silent memorial making stream. Watched his videos over and over again. It still hurts.

They announced the ending. I was fine with it. I mainly watched Phil and he said he wasn’t going to be in it so I wasn’t really bothered. I was prepared to watch Phil play hardcore and do the Sorry Boys with everyone and other stuff for at least a little bit.

Then, they announced QSMP. I honestly wasn’t really interested at first. I tried to watch some and couldn’t see the point. I thought, Quackity should add some more well know streamers if he wants people to watch, but that’s not the point of QSMP. I understand now.

QSMP is entirely different from anything we’ve had before. It has inspired the English creators to learn a language, or continue learning if they already were. It’s inspired me to learn a language, and a few seconds of watching it will give me new motivation to do so!

QSMP introduced me to Cellbit, Baghera, all the amazing, funny, great to watch and listen to creators I never would have known existed if not for QSMP.

And of course the eggs. I love all of them. I know the tricks and I know that they’re just admins but the admins are people! And I choose to believe their real personalities are shining through the eggs.

I love that Phil does his Cucurucho/Chayanne fourth wall breaking and that Tallulah has come out of her shell (get it) enough to join in on that. I love Leo’s sass and how Fit cares for Ramon. I love Dapper and BBH’s joking infighting and how people ask Dapper a lot of things because he knows stuff. I love Richas’s dad collecting and what an amazing painter he is. I love Pommes sweetness and how she and Tallulah hit it off. I miss Bobby’s tendencies to get himself into trouble. I miss how in sync Juana and Slime were. I joined after Trump and Tilin died, but I miss them too.

Thank you, everyone on the DSMP (which should really be BBHSMP because apparently he was paying for it the whole time), for being such a big part of my life. I’ll never really be able to thank most of you enough.

Thank you, everyone on QSMP for joining, because I have a feeling this will continue to be amazing, and Quackity, himself, for organising all of this and finding amazing admins and being so open with sharing your culture and language and experience.

I love all of you. (Except y’know… the ones that turned out to be terrible)