#and that his death shaped his life in numerous ways

[frevandrest]

Hello! I've been backreading a lot of your blog to learn more about Saint-Just, and first of all let me just thank you for having posted so much amazing info! If it's alright, I had two questions. You said Saint-Just had a nickname, Florelle. What does it mean and are there any further details on that? Secondly, I heard that Saint-Just increasingly mentioned his father in his writings closer to Thermidor. Is that true, and are there any other details on his relationship with his dad? Thank you!

Aww, thanks!

Florelle seems to have been a pseudonym that he gave himself. I assumed it was for his early literary writings, but there seems to be a document from Blérancourt with that signature. It's been suggested that "Florelle" comes from the Greek word for flower, "anthos", which, if true, would suggest that he used Antoine as his name earlier than we thought. But there is no proof that this is indeed why he chose Florelle.

For second, he mentioned his father only once, but it's significant because it's the only time he mentioned him, like... ever. It was in a draft of his 9 Thermidor speech. He didn't include it in the speech itself. It remained in his notes, and it was eventually published as part of "Les Fragments sur les institutions républicaines", even though it's not really part of that (there are also his notebook notes).

The father mention is in the fragment 55. Soboul quotes it as:

l'âme que le ravissement de mon bonheur en me sacrifiant pour la patrie et je n'ai plus devt les yeux que le chemin qui me sépare de mon père mort et des degrés du panthéon

And my French sucks, so I offer a translation from here (idk how good it is tho):

The soul that the ravishment of my happiness is sacrificing myself for is the patrie; and I do not have before my eyes but the path that separates me from my dead father and the steps of the Pantheon.

(there is more in the fragment; I can share it in a followup post. It has a very "preparing to die" approach)

SJ's father, Louis-Jean, died when SJ was 10 years old. So... there wasn't much of a relationship to know about. There is only limited info on how SJ felt about his father. Stuff like: he took his father's pistols when he ran away to Paris at 19, but didn't sell them even though he was broke. (And he ran away shortly after the anniversary of his father's death, though that could be a coincidence). Or the possibility he did not stop using "Louis" for a long time during the revolution, because it was his father's name (idk how much truth there is to this, but I've seen it mentioned). And, of course, this quote.

[grimbanes]

Six Months (Kaz Brekker x GN!HEALER! Reader)

Summary: “Kaz Brekker, I have seen you run with a broken leg, heard you scaled a building with a bullet lodged in your shoulder that I had to fix and you’ve concussed yourself numerous times with every nose you break- and now you’re telling me you can’t stomach a papercut?” OR : Kaz Brekker is sometimes a quiet softie if it means coming to see the reader, even in life or death situations. It takes the reader six months of service to realize they may or may not love him with their whole heart, and confession ensues.

WC: 3.8k.

Genre: Mostly fluff, maybe slightly ooc kaz?

TW: mentions of blood, usual six of crows warnings, injuries.

A/N: maybe a second part to yesterdays fic which you can read here, or just read this one as a stand-alone. The POVs have changed, i fancied writing something a little different, more personal to the ~feelings~.

It had been three months since you had the unfortunate task of bringing the Bastard of the Barrel back from the brink of death, though you were sure the stubborn young man would have crawled away from the reaper’s grips with a smirk on his face and blood seeping from every crevice - he was certainly stubborn enough to do the impossible. ‘Improbable’, you could practically hear him correct, eyes expectant of better and eyebrows raised in that condescending way he often did when he was the smartest in the room. 

It had been three months, you realised silently, still scratching away at the parchment you were writing on, ink drying on its smooth surface. Months under the protection of the Dregs. You didn’t join them, that was not an option you ever considered accepting. A life of crime was no different from serving the Second Army, only your General would be well-dressed for the sheer sake of mocking the rich. In that time, you had countless trips to the Crow Club and the Slat, tending to the wounded whenever summoned.

It was a simple agreement - protection and space to live on Dreg territory in return for mending their wounded whenever jobs turned sour or confrontation reached a violent conclusion.

You knew that the small flat you were given to live in above a little dress shop was not just for your protection, even if on Dreg territory. No, it was to make calling on you easier. Kaz Brekker could keep his second pair of eyes on you at all times. You knew you did not really have any privacy anymore, doomed to only socialize with Dregs or Dregs associates so really, you chose to keep to yourself.

Even when a certain Dreg rolled his way into your life, grinning wide and fingers held in the shape of his favourite tool.

Jesper Fahey adopted you as a friend and you were almost certain he was told to do so. To keep an eye on you, or maybe keep you safe. Both options were viable but fortunately, you were not a mastermind and you didn’t care to be one.

So when you received a knock at your door, you fully expected one of their young runners to be on the other side, note in hand with a little Crow etched on it. You knew why it was a Crow, just didn’t care to invest your life into it fully. You set your pen aside and dusted your hands off on your apron, carefully stepping up from your makeshift table and taking steps towards the rickety door barely hanging onto its rusted hinges.

You opened the door, opening your mouth to greet the usual young boy who gave you your summons, only for no greeting to roll off of your tongue.

In front of you, Dirtyhands himself towered. His gloved hands remained gripped to his cane, jaw tight and eyes a calm ocean, staring at you without the usual expectancy. Instead, he seemed almost relaxed, confident arrogance that often dripped from his well dressed frame present as always. He donned his long black coat, the collar turned up at the nape and shape fitting his figure as perfectly as usual.

Assessing the situation, you accepted it but that nagging feeling of oh no sat in the pit of your stomach. You had to be cautious - Why was he on your doorstep?

“Your services are required,” Kaz’s voice spoke in his quiet, rasping yet commanding volume, business as usual. Impatient.

“Of course, Mister Brekker. Let me grab my things,” You stepped away from the door, leaving it open for the man to enter if he so wished. It wasn’t much, your humble abode. Just a small bed tucked into a corner, a sad excuse for a clothing dresser and a makeshift table against the window with an old, collapsing stool for a seat. But it was enough for you, and you knew Kaz was used to such things, preferring it to the luxuries of Merchers and nobles. 

You paid him little attention as you turned to close the ledger from your day job, pen set into ink but you did note that he took off his hat as he entered, closing the door behind him with a small click and stepped his way to the small chair you had in the other corner beside a kitchen counter, making himself comfortable with his bad leg stretched out a little more than the other. He held his cane between his legs on the ground, fingers clasped to it tightly.

“Who got hurt this time?” You asked absentmindedly, a wicker basket set on top of your desk as you glanced to his still frame, his eyes already trained on you. 

“Me,” Brekker answered, shifting in his seat and setting his hat aside on the counter beside him, hand falling to touch his leg and you sighed, but the small smile on your face betrayed the exasperation you felt. 

“I didn’t figure you so clumsy, sir,” You subtly teased, stepping from your table once you realised you did not need to pack anything due to the fact you would not be leaving your home. You stepped to him, shirt sleeve rolled to your forearm and fingers rubbing together, hoping to remove the cold from them that your small little home often left.

The Dregs leader eyed you, unable to keep perfectly still, setting his cane down to lean against the wall and slowly began to bring his fingers to unbutton his glove. You could only watch with well masked surprise, the young man pulling at each finger until it was loose and he pried it off, offering you his slightly shaking hand, a frown pulling at his lips.

“It's uncomfortable to work like this. Fix it,” He ordered, turning his hand palm up and you studied his hand for any injury, unable to see one. 

As your eyes traced his pale, near luminescent skin, you came to stop upon a little slit in the skin of his index finger, from one side to the other and you fully understood what Kaz Brekker was asking of you. Please heal my papercut, it's annoying me. You didn’t laugh, but by the Saints did you want to. You stifled it and slowly, brought your eyes up to meet his own, noting the calmness of the ones staring at you even with the unsteady tremble in his fingers, the light sheen of nervousness painting his skin and you couldn’t help but feel a little endeared. 

“You could have shot yourself in the foot if you wanted to come see me so badly,” You teased gently, just like you often found yourself doing with him. He never replied to them usually, and only once did he ever roll his eyes at you. He just stared, lips pressed into a line and sometimes he hummed with a quirk of his brow. This time was different, the threat of a smile daring to pull at his sharp features and it felt more dangerous than facing a Dime Lion, you were convinced. You didn’t know how to handle Kaz Brekker smiling at you. 

“I couldn’t risk not being able to use the other leg too,” Kaz steadily jested, wit rolling from his tongue in a way he never did, the humour in his voice often only present when he was with his Crows and mocking Jesper, eyes twinkling with mirth and you almost swore you could taste your heart on your tongue, between your teeth. 

He didn’t even deny wanting to come see you.

“Kaz Brekker, I have seen you run with a broken leg, heard that you scaled a building with a bullet lodged in your shoulder that I had to fix and you’ve concussed yourself numerous times with every nose you break- and now you’re telling me you can’t stomach a papercut?” You exasperated, shaking your head despite the unsteady rhythm in your chest, unable to see the usual murderous bastard in Kaz’s face, daring to see a young man with an unfair amount of weight on his shoulders and that was a scary thought. Horrifying, even. You needed your morals, even in Ketterdam.

Brekker didn’t answer you to start with, just pursed his lips and his finger twitched a little, the rest of his fingers curling to his palm and just leaving his little wound out to you, eyes locked on it himself. It took him a moment but then he opened his mouth, words leaving you with a revelation;

“I don’t like the feeling of it.”

You didn’t quite know how to feel about it and even though it would normally be just a casual statement, it felt a little heavier, like it was harder for him to admit that something unsettled him so much that he had to seek out someone with the Small Science. You decided not to pry, not to tease, only to touch your hands together and then reach your hand out, ghosting the tips of two fingers over the little knick on his finger. It took mere seconds and the cut was gone but Kaz still trembled beneath the ministrations, nostrils flared with an uncomfortable exhale and you didn’t even want to know why he was so quiet. 

“There we go, all better, as if it never happened,” You spoke carefully, drawing his eyes back to yours and you knew you would take this little moment to the grave with you, your little secret. You would never tell a soul that Kaz Brekker did not like paper cuts. 

Except, Kaz didn’t stand to leave. He didn’t pull his glove back on, didn’t grab his cane. Instead, he got more comfortable in the little seat and rested his bare hand against his bad leg, eyes on you and that dangerous smile once again threatening his lips, meeting his eyes so subtly and you couldn’t stop yourself from staring at him. 

“Become one of my Crows,” It wasn’t a question, it was an order. 

You shook your head, lowering yourself into a crouch in front of him and tapping your fingertips together, you did your best to help ease the pain of his leg, hands hovering over his knee but never touching. You never touched him, if you could help it. You weren’t a heartrender, you couldn’t soothe his heartbeat or ease his mind, but you could numb it enough that the walk home wasn’t so miserable. 

“I won’t,” You answered, knowing full well that becoming a Crow meant joining the Dregs, meant that you’d be a grunt, you’d do small jobs, risk your life, even take them. You didn’t want that. As much as you came to adore Brekker’s little quirks, the silent glances of communication, teasing the man and him letting you get away with it, the beginnings of a friendship forming, the way your heart lurched when you heard the uneven tapping of his cane against the floorboards, you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. You had loyalties to yourself, after all. 

“You will, eventually,” He mumbled, leaning back in the seat and never once taking his eyes off of your form, his head tilted ever so slightly. Even in this lighting, midday painting him in golden, he was as handsome as the night he had almost bled out under your care. You didn’t know how he managed it, knowing full well he didn’t eat full meals or hydrate as much as he should, and didn't sleep nearly enough. 

“Mister Brekker, you’d have to be on your deathbed for that to even be a consideration.”

You didn’t know how right you were. 

┕━━━━━━━♔━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┙

“Y/N! Quickly!” Jesper’s voice rang out, cracking, bringing your attention away from the printing press in front of you and with confusion, you tossed away your the paper in your hand and heard your own boots clicking and clacking against the stone floor before you even realised you were rushing out of the shop, job forgotten and keeping pace behind the sharpshooter.

You didn’t know what was wrong, you just knew that you were needed. Four months under the Dregs protection, you felt more like their protector or caretaker, tending to the wounded and keeping them fed. It was the first time somebody had come to you on shift, in your shop, dragging you away from the thing that paid your rent and kept your own stomach full. You didn’t know when you became so loyal to them, to him, but you did and couldn’t change that. 

So you ran, you ran faster than you ever had. You felt your clothes carry the wind, your hair pushed back from your face and the bitter chill of the Barrel on your skin as your chest heaved, legs carrying you as fast as possible as you went through alleys, down streets, pushing past as many people as you needed. Dread kept your legs from getting tired, pure adrenaline keeping your lungs full of air and you knew, you just knew. Kaz. 

Saints, you couldn’t handle knowing you cared so much about one person. 

You didn’t notice when you had overtaken Jesper, throwing the side door to the Slat open and pulling off your apron and desperately scanning your surroundings. You didn’t care about anything else, you just met the eyes that stared back at you, filling the room with a bit more ease.

“Y/N-” Wylan.

“Where is he?”

“His room-” Inej.

You didn’t listen to anything else, taking off up the steps and you threw yourself into the attic room. With hardly a breath, you dropped to your knees where he lay on the bed, pale as death could be and you cussed to yourself. You weren’t going to let him die. You stopped it happening once and you would do it again and again and again if it meant you could see that stupid boyish smile on his lips and hear a mean jest rolling off his tongue again. You worked too hard for it all to go to waste. 

“You’re stuck with me I’m afraid, Brekker. You’re not going anywhere,” You told him, earning yourself a grunt and his head turned, dropping heavily to one side and his eyes stared at you. Even he looked relieved. You didn’t even think to ponder on what that meant. 

Setting to work quickly, you healed the artery that had been cut, apron pressed to him to keep as much blood in his system as possible as you worked at sealing it, stitching the wound with your grisha power. The short time you’d cared for the Dregs, you had gotten stronger, better with your power. Things like this didn’t take as long as it used to, didn’t take as much energy out of you. You knew Kaz would live but it didn’t make it any less stressful to see him like that. And you didn’t want to ever again, you never wanted to see death try to pull him out of your life just as you had gotten used to him in it. 

“My Crow,” He uttered, rasping and breathless, the hint of teasing a whisper on his breath and you resigned yourself, eyes scanning his relaxing features and you nodded, never touching him. You were finished. He was fine. He was alive, sitting up against the wall and staring at you with an unreadable expression on his face.

“Yes, Kaz. It seems to be that way. The deal is the deal, after all,” You pressed your lips into a small smile, submitting yourself to the reality that you had found yourself in. It seemed your morals could be set aside if it meant keeping this criminal’s unsavoury heart beating in his chest. 

And maybe, just maybe, Kaz was keeping yours beating irrevocably fast too.

┕━━━━━━━♔━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┙

At six months, you were a Crow, but not a Dreg. You didn’t join the gang, only really spending your time with a close inner circle or drinking by yourself after a long shift at the printing press. At six months, you were seated at the bar of the Crow Club, sipping your drink and enjoying the busy ruckus as men gambled their life savings right away.

“Hello, gorgeous,” Jesper sang, leaning over the bar beside you and grinning ear to ear, whiskey in hand and pockets stuffed with kruge. You could practically smell it on him - the money and the victory. You laughed softly, tipping your glass to him and then taking a sip, you turned your barstool towards him and gave him your full, undivided attention.

“Good night?” You asked, even though you knew damn well he had a good night. He looked ready to shoot the moon.

“Fantastic,” He answered, head tilting and cheeks splitting as he grinned wider; Jesper’s ringed fingers tapped against his dimpled cheeks, eyes watching you as they did when he was about to say something that he absolutely shouldn’t say. “How’s the boss?”

You should have expected it, really. That was the reason you were there in the first place. Your face began to turn many shades of magenta, you were sure. Tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, you cleared your throat and stabilised yourself, sitting up straighter and doing your best to return the young man’s cheeky smile.

“I’m sure he’s fine, you would know you’ve been here all day,” You answered, leaning into the palm of your hand. You could hear your own heartbeat in your ears with just the mere idea of him, his name not even having been spoken yet. Pathetic. 

 “And your eyes have been on him since the moment you practically ran through our front door,” Jesper shot back, chin jutting to where said young man had exited his office and was stepping down the small staircase that lead to the office, uneven gait leaned on his cane and he made his way to his usual perch near the bar, arm leaning against the railing with eyes locked on the floor - it was heartbreakingly charming to you, the fact he wore his usual attire of waistcoat and fancy tailored shirt, looking every part Kaz Brekker and it almost hurt to look at him. 

“Just making sure he’s alive. He’s been clumsy as of late,” You mumbled the excuse into the rim of your glass, sipping your drink but your eyes stayed on him. It wasn’t necessarily a lie but you knew it was foolish. Kaz Brekker was a criminal of the cruellest kind, had done unspeakable things to those deserving and undeserving and yet there you were, afraid to blink for fear he would disappear before your very eyes. The sole reason you choose to accept a life of crime and fix the worst kinds of people, those that didn’t always deserve to be fixed. Him included. But he deserved it. 

“He’s not going anywhere any time soon, doll. He might be as fragile, but he’s smarter than that,” Jesper nudged you with his shoulder, hands smoothing over your tensed fist on the surface of the bar and you turned to look at him, not even realising your own rigidness. You were grateful you had him to call a friend, always grounding you despite his antics. 

“I just don’t understand why I have all these… feelings,” You admitted aloud, turning your hand up in his to press your palms together. He tutted, shaking his head and tapping his fingers against your wrist, he offered the most eye opening fact you had ever heard in your many years of living;

“Love makes us into many things, sometimes better, many times worse. I know it makes him worse; a coward, a liar, sometimes a bit self absorbed, full of greed, selfish, but he could be so much worse,” Jesper offered, a kinder smile on his face as he leaned in to usher the words without prying ears.

You loved Kaz and you probably knew it. You probably thought about it every day when you woke up, when someone checked the time on their pocket watch, when someone handed you a kruge. You probably fell asleep thinking about it and yet it took a close friend to lay it out in front of you just what it was that kept you wanting to be near him, make sure he never cut his finger on a piece of parchment again, to heal his split lip and bruised knuckles. 

It was easily the most terrifying thing you had ever done: falling in love with a crime boss was not something fun, easy, or relaxing. It was that danger that you saw whenever the man smiled, the horror whenever he cast a joke or brushed his gloved fingers against your hand when he passed you, the glance he threw your way from across the busy room, the warnings that screamed at you when he leaned a little too close to you when you were mending flesh. It was the liability that caused you to keep your eyes on him at all times, making sure he was breathing. Attachment. Investment. Attraction. Commitment. All words that came to mind when you considered your relationship with Ketterdam’s, maybe even the world’s, most menacing, volatile, impatient and undoubtedly violent criminal. 

“Jesper, if I catch you flirting one more time…” The man’s voice carried weight, trailing with a silent threat and you realised that the very man tipping your world on its axis was towering over the pair of you, shoulders squared, jaw taut and eyes blazing with something unspoken.

“No, Kaz, it's okay. He wasn’t flirting he was just-” 

The man silenced you with a tilt of his head and the raising of a single dark brow. 

“Right boss, sorry boss. Should I just- Yeah let me just, yeah. Enjoy your night, I’m going to go do my job,” Jesper patted the bar, then the stool, awkwardly bowing and pointing, smile on his face and a wink thrown your way before he was spinning on his heel, arms wide as he cheered a greeting towards the door, sauntering his way to actually do what he was paid for.

Your attention was brought back to Kaz as the man slid into the very same seat he had just dismissed his friend from, cane set between the two of you and drink ordered, gloved hands folded on the surface of the bar. He didn’t turn his body towards you, but his eyes were on you, like always, a question swirling in his irises.

“You and Jesper…?” He seemed to trail off, finger tapping impatiently on his arm, gloved and tensed in his shoulders even as he swallowed thickly, mouth pulled down into a line.

“No,” You shook your head, turning your body away from him and towards the bar, sipping your drink with your heart pounding in your chest.

“You and… anyone?” He asked a little more quietly, eyes on his own drink as he swirled it in steady circles, the amber liquid sloshing at the bottom of the glass.

“No, Kaz. Just you,” You answered honestly.

Kaz Brekker remained silent, only nodding, bringing his drink to his lips and sipping it. No other words needed to be exchanged, and only you caught the ghost of a smile on the corners of his vile, cursed mouth.

[junk-story]

Atsushi and Me – Tanaka Junichi, Director - Ongaku to Hito Special Edition

This interview is on pages 68-69 of the magazine. Footnotes can be found at the bottom of the text.

At the time we first met, the areas where he was immature as a vocalist were numerous. However, he had a unique worldview. For so-called rock vocalists, sexy vocalizations and a husky voice is becoming characteristic, but Sakurai-kun’s voice wasn’t those things, and it had popular-music-like elements to it. There were some who said his voice rivaled The Checkers.1

But, when I met him for the first time at a yakiniku shop in Harajuku, Sakurai-kun said that he liked Peter Murphy (of Bauhaus). So I think he wanted to combine the best parts of Japanese music with bands like Bauhaus and The Cure’s English dark wave to make a style of music not seen before in Japan. That was the sort of conversation we had. Maybe at that time, he thought what he wanted to do could take shape.

The realization of that was “TABOO”, but after that, a change came about in Sakurai-kun’s self-expression. The apex of that was “Kurutta Taiyou”. BUCK-TICK began to function as a place where Sakurai-kun could vent the love and hate and regrets he was holding about his home and his mother. After that, the color of Sakurai-kun became stronger, and what came from within him, the lust for life and desire for death, things like that became his themes, and their music was also influenced by that. At the time, they often heard the opinion at Victor that “it would be better to write things that are easier to understand”, and if they had, they might have been a bigger hit, maybe even hitting the million-seller mark, but, I suppose it’s because he wasn’t hindered in expressing himself that they were able to continue until now. In the first place, they weren’t even looking for that. And his songs, which came to have these themes at their core, had refined his expressiveness, and he was able to develop himself.

I worked for about 36 years recording Sakurai-kun’s songs, but he left all of it to me.2 “I’m doomed to my fate3, so I’ll sing a number of takes in my best form, and afterward, please use your favorite”, he’d say. I almost never had any requests about the take I chose. This is really an incredible thing. Most singers give me detailed requests, but he didn’t. I guess he realized that other people saw things differently than he did, and if he thought they did, I think he thought it was best to elevate that different expression atop the stage. Also, I think he was considerate about not making others feel bad.

Yes, he was a considerate and kind person. For example, when he was traveling to a big city studio, he was coming by car and got stuck in traffic, so he was also late. At times like that, although many musicians would have come in unashamed, Sakurai-kun was prostrate. “Everyone, truly, I’m so sorry…”, he’d say, and he’d bow his head to everyone all the way down to the studio’s assistant. He was someone who understood general thinking. And, he wasn’t that conscious of his commercial success. He also had no desire for fame. For that kind of person to continue being in a band, and think they want to make a career of it, that’s an extremely curious thing. Well...more than the music, more than the band, I suppose the important thing was that he was doing it with the other members. That’s why he was slow to start things outside of that, and he’d find it bothersome. (laughs) There were also things like that, and his solo album, “Ai no Wakusei”, was outsourced by me to various people, and Sakurai-kun only did the singing for it. Because when he’d communicate directly, he’d start to think about what to say, get nervous, and end up thinking about various things. (laughs)

Even after the band separated from Victor, behind the scenes, I did the recording for a number of songs. This is presumptuous of me to say, but I think I was the only one they could leave to doing it for them. However, what I think now...he would sing five takes, and he wanted to hear from me which of the takes was really the best one. Although I can’t confirm that now...but I’d like to think...that he knew the take that I thought was the best, was the best take for BUCK-TICK.

However, from the start, there were also times where he wasn’t the kind of person who could do that. (laughs) The time from “darker than darkness – style 93 – ” to “Six/Nine” was quite tumultuous. He wouldn’t show up to do vocal recordings. (laughs) This was an era without cell phones, so all we could do was wait, and after 10 hours passed, he finally came. (laughs) When we finished recording the vocals, I was listening and heard they’d driven to Mount Fuji. (laughs) There was everything with his mother, and I imagine he was pushed to a breaking point mentally. But from that, the “death” part of love and death came to expand significantly.

At that time, he was experiencing the chaos of the adult world, and I wonder if he didn’t come to have a hard time knowing what was real. So he wanted to run away from everything; his work and private life were both a mess. He drank alcohol like a drunk, like he was trying to forget reality. To put It nicely, he was pure. He wasn’t a person who could get along well in this world. However, he’d tasted that life, so the lyrics of that time had that reality in them. It may just be what I imagine, but “darker than darkness – style 93 – ” is all real. It’s not something that was made.4 I want everyone to listen to it again like that. And it’s also because of that experience that his love, hope, and kindness of not wanting to die emerged after that. And he started expressing his feelings more honestly.

Therefore, his love for family was incredible. Especially for the daughters. He had something he needed to protect, so he started to want to live. Sakurai Atsushi didn’t abandon himself to despair. I wanted to listen to more songs like that from him. If he had, then maybe a chapter where we met again would have begun. With a man who aged well.

Other than that, what I remember is nothing but stuff when we were drinking. (laughs) Because it was incredible, in any case. The live would end, and from about 11 PM we’d take off. After that, it was typical to spend time at Roppongi’s BOO!WHO?WOO!, and the shop has a small window that you can see the outside from, so you know when dawn is breaking. Nevertheless, Sakurai-kun was lively. Meanwhile, “Waratte ii tomo!”5 starts on the television. And then it got dark outside again. We were drinking that entire time. How much alcohol can a person go on drinking? I remember wondering.

Also, he was a person who was loved by everyone. By that I mean falling in love. When we were returning from London and at the airport counter checking in, the attendant saw Sakurai-kun, got heart eyes, and gave us a seat upgrade, and we were able to have an elegant return trip home because of it. (laughs)

1 Band from the same era (worth checking out!) 2 He allowed Tanaka to call the shots. 3 This turn of phrase didn’t really work well in any way I translated it...but sort of like, “there’s nothing to be done for it” – here he is, all he can do is his best! Like that. 4 Just in case this isn’t clear – he means this wasn’t constructed or fake in any way – this is truly where Sakurai was mentally at the time. 5 A long running variety TV show that was hosted by Tamori. It started at noon, to give you a reference of the time he’s talking about here.

[carionto]

The duality of Man, or triality? quadrality?

Alien to Human about New Human: Correct me if I'm wrong, but they appear abnormally large for your species?

H: Yea, he's a biggun alright, even without the EV suit I'd say... 7'3'', 310 pounds, bet he power lifts.

A: Umm... not to be rude, but, uhh... he seems, well... how should I put this...

H: Intimidating? Terrifying? Evil? Yea, if this station didn't have high screening standards I'd be totally pissing myself if he started walking towards me. The mohawk and eye tat totally make me believe he could snap me in two with a single glare.

A: I feel ashamed that my instincts are telling me to flee. I wish nature were easier to change.

H (shouting at NH): Hey buddy! Could you come over here for a minute please? You look awesome by the way!

A (whispering nervously): what are you doing?!?

H: Gotta overcome those fears somehow, I believe the best way is a direct confrontation.

NH approaches, somewhat slowly, looking around at all the other aliens in the station that are chatting, waiting around, or doing some work. He finally approaches A and H, and in a very deep and husky voice says: Um, hi, hello. T-thanks for the compliment, I, uh, was a little worried I would stand out too much here.

H: Oh you totally do, my friend over here is practically about to pass out from how much like a gothic viking of death metal you look.

NH: Oh no, I'm so sorry, I-I just grew up in Sweden-Delta and both my parents were huge into classic local music, so I just, uh... it's complicated. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare anyone.

H: Hey, relax pal, we're all good people here. Anyway, what you here to do? I'm planning on starting a bakery, still testing out what kind of flour most species here can actually stomach. My friend here is on the team working on Moon theft preventative measures.

NH: Oh, that's cool. I'm here as an exchange student with the department of applied astrophysics. If all goes well, I can finish my Bachelors degree remotely and stay here as an intern with the head researcher.

H: Oooh, that's cool. (so cool yea that you're apparently half my age but oh well guess I'm a big fat time waster like my father before me and oh god change the subject before I get depressed in front of strangers) That's a real big bag you got there, carrying some super secret science things, eh?

NH: Oh, that... uhh... guess it can't hurt to tell, security vetted it already anyway.

NH proceeds to unzip the bag and hold up a large white piece of clothing with light blue rings and accents, alongside a strange white cap with what looked like small fins, and a curious little backpack.

NH: It's uhh... um... my... Ika... musume... cosplay.... (oh gods I can't believe I said it out loud again)

After a moment of awkward silence, NH slowly puts on the backpack and presses a button on it's strap, and suddenly numerous light blue colored tentacle-like appendages sprout out from the backpack and move in line with NH's movements.

NH: I, uh..., got my engineering friend to make them articulate and interface with my contacts. I can make them do all sorts of things, like make various shapes and animals with them, though works best as a shadow theater.

H:...

NH:...

A now frozen out of confusion than fear:...

H: That's so

NH: (oh I know it's so lame, but I love that show)-

H: COOL! I don't know what a ika musume is, but those things look amazing. You said articulate? How precise can they be? I'd love to have something like that instead of my useless assistant. Poor lad can't make a piece of toast if his life depended on it...

NH: Y-you like it?

H: I LOVE those things. My daughter does cosplay too sometimes, but she makes her Dreadnought suits herself from scraps. One time the military came to our house and installed a limiter on the gauss cannon she found in a crash site, said it would otherwise start to generate small doses of radiation if used too frequently. But she replaced it with a handmade rail gun before the next convention. Do you go to those? Did you see a 7 meter tall hulking metal monstrosity with a bunch of candles all over? That was her.

NH: Oh, I think I've seen video of that, but no, not in person, I go to smaller events. I don't really like big crowds.

H: Oh yea, I get ya, you do seem a bit on the shy side now that we've been talking for a bit. Hey, no worries, like I said, we're all good people here.

NH: T-thanks, but I think I should be going now, the teacher is calling me over.

H: Oh yea, go ahead, didn't mean to take up so much of your time. Have a fun stay and I'm sure you'll ace that paper or theory? Or whatever astrophysicists do, you seem like a solid kid.

NH: Oh, uh, thanks. Good luck with your bakery. And you with stopping those weird people from stealing more moons. Bye.

H: Bye bye, come visit, don't be a stranger now, I'm set up just a short bit from the main lift on floor 14.

NH: R-right, I'll, uh, be sure to stop by soon.

A is finally able to process what they just heard and says: What was all that just now?

H: What? Just a friendly chat with what is apparently basically a kid. Man, this kid's got so much going on, while I'm almost 50 and I have an oven. Life, man, it can go in so many ways. Anyway, let's go grab a drink, I'm parched.

[osiris-iii-bc]

Primo Emeritus: Florence.

This is the first of my posts where I locate each Papa in Italian cities based on the occult influences/history of each city. I hope you find it interesting and useful!

Primo | Secondo | Terzo

Primo Emeritus, The Old One, the embodiment of all that is sacred. A personality like his deserves to be located in an ancient city full of art, poetry, and history, shaped by the esoteric and alchemical obsessions of the Medici family, amidst the enduring shadow of centuries-old Satanic cults.

Let’s see why I have chosen Florence for Primo.

In this chapel of ritual…

From the early 70s to the late 80s, a series of murders occurred in various regions of middle-north Italy, with the most infamous taking place in Tuscany, known as the case of the 'Monster of Florence' (Mostro di Firenze), which resulted in the deaths of 14 people - officially, but it is believed there were way more.

The theory is that these murders were part of a large network of Satanic rituals involving influential figures from Rome, Perugia, and Florence. This network is supposedly still active. The original cult allegedly responsible for initiating these rituals seems to be the 'Rosa rossa' (Red Rose) cult. 

A fertile ground for writing Ritual...

2. The creator of Hell.

Florence is the birthplace of Dante Alighieri, the renowned author of the Divine Comedy and the creator of the now canonical structure of Hell.

Primo could have had many more things in common with Dante than we expect: indeed, it is said that Alighieri was part of an esoteric cult named ‘Fedeli d’Amore’ (Loyals to Love), probably affiliated with the Templars. From there, Dante is said to have drawn inspiration for his symbolic and esoteric tales, as well as his passion for numbers.

Keep an eye on Dante, as he will eventually come back in the next chapters.

3. The ghost behind the open window.

It’s not a Ghost story without an actual ghost.

In Piazza Santissima Annunziata, there is a building, Palazzo Grifoni, that holds a mysterious detail: a window that remains open at all times, whether day or night, summer or winter. Legend has it that a woman of the Grifone family bid farewell from that window to her lover, likely Ferdinando I, who departed for war. She waited for him by that same open window throughout her life, but he never returned, dying in battle. When she passed away, the window was finally closed. However, soon after, numerous mysterious events happened in the building, to the point the residents concluded that the building was haunted by the ghost of the woman, and they have kept the window open ever since not to upset her.

But that's not all: the Ferdinando I statue placed in the square, has his face turned to look right to that window… At the very end, he finally came back to her.

4. The Boboli alchemical garden.

Boboli represents a very particular case of an alchemical garden conceived to be ‘accessible’ only to those who have a strong alchemical and esoteric knowledge. It is built as a symbolic route where you can contemplate the principles of magical and alchemical doctrine along the way. You’ll be welcomed by two fountains, placed one on top of the other: the Mose’s (it is an indoor fountain) and the Carciofo’s (artichoke). They are believed to represent the esoteric concept of “as above so below”, but the references to esoteric concepts are present along the whole garden.

Primo would have surely loved this place.

[sinnbaddie]

To say that Kakashi and Gai’s relationship (talking solely platonic rn) was mostly about him helping Kakashi cope with the loss of Obito is disingenuous to Kakashi and all of his relationships.

Any person is going to be traumatized after seeing someone — much less their teammate — be crushed to death under a rock. Kakashi is shown to be someone susceptible to depression due to 1. His environment 2. His initial beliefs and 3. His genetic line. Of course his life is going to be centered around one of the most traumatic experiences of his life, romanticizing it is so hurtful to his character because it destroyed him - and if Kishimoto actually cared about expanding other character relationships instead of making a “generational duo that falls apart” + wasn’t a misogynistic writer, Rin’s death would be the bigger influence on his life than Obito’s.

Yes, Gai had to help him numerous times in his grief but it wasn’t solely or even mainly about Obito. Rin was an absolute vital point in Kakashi’s downfall into chaos. The self harm he inflicted upon himself, the self hatred, the self shame. He became a whole different person after he was forced to kill her. I would say Kakashi’s father Sakumo is by far the biggest influence on him. He wouldn’t have needed any speech of “your father was a hero” by Obito if it wasn’t for Sakumo. His personality of today is thanks to his father’s own death.

Gai and Kakashi’s friendship is almost entirely about them when they’re in scenes together. Look at the chunin exams, look at any scene in the land of steam arc, look at their race, etc. naturally there will be grief the two bring to the relationship and it’s on them to work it out separately, together and with other people which did happen.

You’re actively ignoring every other character that has shaped and formed who Kakashi is by saying Obito is the biggest and only reason he is who he is. Gai is one of the strongest reasons why Kakashi is as motivated and strong as he is. Kakashi would’ve absolutely died at some point in (general) anbu if Gai didn’t pull him out and he was slipping so far when he was in it because of Rin and Minato.

Kakashi’s heart does not “belong” to Obito because he’s in love with Obito and can’t get over him, his heart belongs to the people he loves because that’s who Kakashi is at his core - a lover. He’s a person who cares so deeply, even for people he doesn’t necessarily like or get along with.

Kakashi is a person who is shaped by everybody in his life, that’s why he is one of the best written Naruto characters. He feels like a real person because real people are influenced by everyone in their life, in every way. It’s unfortunate to see those who call themselves Kakashi fans only to mischaracterize, limit and erase the bonds he was written to have to prop up one single bond for your ship.

Do you care for this character? His themes, parallels, relationships and writing? or is he just a placeholder / self insert for shipping content?

[the-kr8tor]

I’m feeling in a really wintery mood today, so may I suggest for fluffy friday TTN hobie x reader as kids playing in the snow during winter break from school?

(Love your hobie x readers btw! Especially ttn!)

AHHH A TTN REQUEST I LOVE U FOR THIS ❤️❤️❤️ Thank you!! I'm glad you like my lil series 💕

Pairing: Hobie Brown x fem! Reader/ Spider-Punk x fem! Reader

Tags: No use of Y/N, no specific physical description of the reader, TTN! Hobie, TTN! Reader, Fluff

TTN! Hobie is based on my series ❤️

It's Fluffy Friday!

ʕ⁠·⁠ᴥ⁠·⁠ʔ

You build a fort with snow, walls almost as tall as you, cold biting at your bare hands. Maybe you should've taken your winter gloves with you. It's too late now though as Hobie places his finishing touches on his side of the battlefield. The tip of his tongue poking out from his lips, brows furrowed in concentration. He's bundled up nicely compared to you, missing your gloves.

"Hurry up, Gromit!" Hobie pats the last bit of snow on his fort, hands already forming his first snowball.

"I'm trying!" Briskly trying to complete the fort, it looks wonky on the side. You huff in annoyance.

"Need help?" Hobie asks with a snicker, you glare at him across the snow covered field.

In retaliation, you hastily mold a snowball in your hand, hiding it behind the wall. It's not a perfect shape but it'll do. Aiming for his head, you throw it with a grunt. The snowball flies across, hitting Hobie square in the face.

"Ack!" Snow slides on his skin, wiping it clean off, revealing his mischievous smile, fiery eyes staring at you. "I'm going to destroy you!"

You screech, wide smile on your face as you duck away from Hobie bombarding you with snowballs.

It was a fight to the death, giggles and laughing sounding out in the cold winter air. Hobie gets numerous hits on you whilst you focus on precision, hitting him where it hurts. His fort tumbles down from your pelting, leaving him unprotected.

He gasps out in realization, you laugh triumphantly, arms at the ready to throw your arsenal.

"You cheeky–" Hobie gets cut off by your snowball smacking him on his temple. You laugh like an evil villain. "That's how it is, huh?!" He runs towards you at full speed, snow crunching under his footsteps. Hobie grabs a handful of snow on his way.

Your eyes grow wide, yelping as he grows closer, running for dear life. Unfortunately for you, your opponent has longer legs, he catches up to you in seconds. Feeling ice sliding on your back where Hobie pushed snow inside your thick jumper.

Yelling, you try to take out the ice from your clothes, jumping and wiggling about. Hobie guffaws on the sideline, clutching his stomach in laughter.

Finally getting rid of the snow in your clothes, you tackle Hobie while he's distracted. You two tumble in the snow, bringing your frozen hands to his cheek. He shrieks at the cold making you copy his earlier laugh.

"Why aren't you wearing gloves?!" He howls out, pushing you off.

You fall on the thick snow, giggling as he fists your jacket collar. Sticking your tongue out, you try to rile him up more. "I forgot it"

"Y'know you could get frostbite from that" He tries to scare you.

"Pssh, no, I won't" you roll your eyes.

"Yuh uh, then I have to cut your fingers off just to save your hands!" He takes your hand pretending to chop it off. That does it for you, gasping in fear of losing your fingers, how are you gonna draw without them?

"Noooo!" Sitting up, you rub your hands together in a futile attempt to warm them up.

"That's not gonna work, here" Hobie takes his gloves off, putting it over your frozen hands for you.

Heart warming at the scene, you let Hobie give you his gloves. "Thanks" he lets out a quiet 'sure', "softie" you continue, he flicks your wrist at your quip.

"You want hot chocolate? I have some at home" you ask, eyes twinkling.

"Sure, but no milk for me" Hobie stands up, extending his hand to help you up.

You take his hand without question, clouds puff out of your cold lips as you beam up at him. "Let's go then! I have tiny marshmallows for it"

Hobie follows you with a wobbly smile.

Reblog banner by @/cafekitsune

[posletsvet]

A Somewhat Messy Exploration of the Concepts of Purity and Impurity in Satosugu, and perhaps some more

The yin and yang symbolism in Satosugu (here I'm using 'Satosugu' as a short way to refer to the relationship between these characters, not necessarily a ship dynamic) has been brought up and discussed a lot in fan analyses lately, and by those who have mental capacity to express it far better than I ever could. However, there is one more thing I would like to talk about in relation to Suguru Geto and Satoru Gojo's dichotomy, and perhaps some more.

As much influence as Chinese philosophical concepts (such as already mentioned yin-yang) have on Japanese cosmology, religious views of the people of Japan are actually an intricate and complex amalgamation of various teachings and beliefs, with Shinto being numerically the most prominent faith of the country. I was curious as to how the ideas found in Shinto could be applied to Gojo and Geto's relationship, and I guess I've stumbled upon some inkling of a thought in this regard -- so please bear with me while I rant.

Before this gets too long, I'm putting my rambling below the cut.

To begin with and give a little bit of context, the core teaching of Shinto is to have profound respect and reverence for nature. As a polytheistic and animistic religion, Shinto is defined by its belief in the kami, who are stated to inhabit all things, including objects of the surrounding landscape and various natural forces. Due to such elemental qualities of the faith, purification takes place as one of its central aspects and a widely followed practice, as well. There is a great emphasis laid on spiritual and physical purity and cleanliness. That being so, the moral categories of good and evil (or virtue and sin), so important in the western worldview, give way to a different outlook on things: the world is perceived in terms of 'clean' and 'dirty' rather than 'good' and 'bad'.

This concept finds a reflection in Gege's writing primarily through Tsumiki as someone who's essentially an embodiment of the virtue of being innocent and pure at heart. When she's brought up in the narrative, the image is frequently accompanied by flowers -- and more often than not, especially when it comes to Megumi's perspective, those flowers are white lilies. And those are one of the most common and prominent symbols of purity. When Tsumiki's innocence is symbolically destroyed with Yorozu taking over her body, white blossoms are depicted as thrashed and stained in the background. Her purity is further defiled by her death as everything related to death and decay is considered foul as it desecrates the world's natural state of cleanliness, fertility and life.

I'm only bringing this up to show how Gege incorporates this religious framework into the body of symbolism in his story. And the further you search with these concepts in mind, the more you are able to uncover.

Satoru Gojo as purity and perfection

Satoru Gojo is a character whom you can't help but read as a perfection within the context of the world he exists in. He's the absolute strongest, wielding the power to bring all the knowledge of the universe and the forces which shape it under his control, he's repeatedly elevated by the narrative as someone unreachable and untouchable whereas nothing seems to be beyond his reach. He also has an extraordinary appearance, matching vibrant aquamarine eyes with fair hair, so rarely found among full-blooded Japanese people. He embodies an ideal for his society.

Satoru is associated with white and sky blue -- the colours most widely believed to represent purity, innocence, perfection, serenity and safety. Those are lofty, noble, airy and spacious hues which also bring in mind vast open spaces and immeasurable and unreachable heights and depths, symbolizing Gojo's detachment from the mundane world where corruption and putrefaction take deep root. Not to mention Satoru's noble background as an heir of one of the Big Three Sorcerer Families.

Actually no, forget this, I do want to mention it and expand a little on my thoughts regarding Satoru's family and upbringing. It's highly likely he was overprotected and sheltered as a child, and along with a teenage-years rebellion on his part which such a childhhod brought about, it also thwarted his ability to make connections with people around him as he basically lacks common experiences and/or interests with them. He's somewhat sterile when it comes to displaying empathy and emotional intelligence, which results in a peculiar sense of innocence about him. For the lack of any better way to articulate this idea, I'd say he's pure in this regard: clean and untouchable and spotless, devoid of nearly everything that comprises a regular person's experience.

This shows even in the way Gojo chooses to cope with his trauma in the aftermath of the Star Plasma Vessel Incident. That traumatic experience seemingly barely leaves a mark on him because he opts for pushing it aside and moving forward, while going out of his way to make sure there's a safe distance between him and the source of his vulnerability by improving his technique. He fixates on bringing his Infinity technique to perfection, and as a result it leaves no opportunity for anything to touch him if he himself does not want it to. Yet again, it leaves him stainless.

Not only that: he becomes emotionally detached from the cruelty and filth of the jujutsu world, becomes numb to it, with little to no emotion ever reaching his core to shake it. He's neither angry nor vengeful on Amanai's behalf after her death. He does not allow for hatred and spite to poison his mind, neither does he feel any doubt. He stays clean from all the negativity at the cost of coming off as cynical and unsympathetic.

He masks this by putting up a front of an emotionally immature individual with childlike mannerisms and an attitude resembling that of a teenager rather than a fully grown man. He also nurtures a somewhat naive belief that Suguru still can be trusted, that there's some hope for him turning away from the path he's chosen. In this regard, he still bears the innocence of a child.

Last but not least, shedding away the more humanly parts of himself, Gojo instead becomes more attuned to the natural world through his ascension -- the main source of purity, as Shinto has it. Moreover, he basically rejects death by coming back from the dead after finally grasping how Reversed Cursed Energy works. And I've already explained the importance of something like this when talking about Tsumiki's passing.

Gojo Satoru's mind is free from resentment and hate, his body unstained by death. He's a character who represents complete spiritual and physical purity.

Suguru Geto as impurity and corruption

Where Gojo's character exhibits perfection, Geto shows abruptly stunted growth and degradation gnawing away at him bit by bit; where Gojo stands to symbolize cleanliness and purity, Geto presents desolation and decay and that filth which is left in their wake. Geto is a character whom the narrative treats as a symbolic foil to Gojo, starting from him being expelled from Jujutsu High and ending with his death being described in the light novel as a curse purged from existence. If Gojo serves as an example of a perfectly fit cog in jujutsu society and sets up a desirable ideal, Geto, named the worst of all known curse users, represents everything that the very same society fears and despises.

Starting with colour symbolism again, such colours as black, dark brown, warm beige and mustard yellow are the most common colours to be associated with dirt and a filthy, dingy appearance. And while I'm not saying Suguru himself has such an appearance (although he does forsake taking care of himself at some point), those all are the colours found in his palette. Black is also considered to be the hardest colour to keep clean, even more so than white, as it shows all the stains and grime so well. Which is quite interesting if you consider that Suguru's downfall and defection ultimately bring out, both to the audience and to Satoru, everything not only malfunctioning, but straightforward cruel, vile and despicable in the existing system.

Geto's deeply empathetic personality is the basis for his own corruption, his inability to set boundaries between his own emotions and the suffering of others leaves him extremely vulnerable in a society which actively punishes people for being unable to extract emotion from their duty and caring too much. The thing is, Suguru is elbow-deep in emotion. For instance, if Satoru managed to shove his feelings aside in order to put together a plan of action when Kuroi got abducted, Suguru immeadiately plunged into self-blame. His own empathy is what's clouding his vision, his feelings pile up within him without any healthy outlet until they start rotting him from the inside.

Geto lets the rot in by caring too deeply, vile emotions that he feels on behalf of others festering in his mind. He can't stand the sight of atrocities commited by Jujutsu society and finds them nauseating, while the rest of the world he exists in treats those abominations as a norm. And even so, he dives deeper into all this by trying to make a difference and save ordinary people.

This is symbolically represented by Geto's Curse Manipulation, with him consuming curses which are basically a corporeal manifestation of all the negative emotions people vent into the world in their daily lives. The more curses he absorbs, the more doubt and resentment he lets inside and the more they consequently stain his once pure ideals and aspirations with bile building up inside of him. His very sense of self is twisted by the weight of the unsightly hideous reality, and while he stays true to his strict set of ideals he is forced to adapt by the trauma of his experience as a sorcerer and the 'realisation' which it brings. Because if one endures such severely traumatic events, one must sooner or later come to the conclusion that there's something inherently wrong and malfunctioning -- either with you or the world you live in. Geto chooses to stay true to himself by assuming it's the latter, and this choice results in his corruption in the eyes of those who run that very world.

There's also something to be said about the intimacy of the act of consumpton: you let the thing you consume nurture you and become a part of you. Cursed spirits taste absolutely foul, and what that means to put this despicable thing in your mouth and swallow it is unimaginable. Geto's absorbtion of curses is supposed to represent how he basically desacrates himself by letting himself experience everything at such a deep emotional level, inevitably tying himself to putrefaction of the world.

And of course, the last thing that plays its role in the defilement of Geto's character is his death.

Brief wrap-up thoughts

I could honestly ramble on and on about this for ages, but I guess it all just boils down to my admiration for Gege's ability to break the mold with his writing. He takes a trait which is largely associated with protagonists of their stories and shapes his villain's whole personality around it -- and vice versa, with Gojo and his seemingly egotistic tendencies.

Once again, Japanese religious beliefs organically encompass so many elements originating from so many cultures with no coherent systematization existing up untill late 19th centuary, and I find it absolutely fascinating how Gege's story reflects that. It leaves us with such an interesting controversy of an emotionally detached hero dwelling in a morally grey area alongside with a deeply empathetic antagonist whom both other characters and the audience find deserving of sympathy and pity.

[kometqh]

ᵀʰᵉ ᴺᵒᵗᵉᵇᵒᵒᵏ

BTS Jungkook x F!Reader

Living in the real, normal world, Y/n comes across all kinds of creatures in her daily life; demons, sirens, protective spirits. The list could go on, but the main point is that she does so unknowingly.

That is, until she is caught in the clutches of death, icy cold water battering her lungs as a Grim Reaper awaits her death, his pitch-black eyes hungry, desperate for her death.

So what happens when a Demon and a Siren come to her rescue?

The sound of coffee beans being grounded and the smell of fresh pastries being put out filled the busy interior of the café, wafting amongst numerous conversations between people, numerous songs being played, numerous stories being exchanged.

The rather large space was engulfed in a warmth that came from two fireplaces, as rain eagerly pattered against the tall, clear windows.

There was one particular man who stood out amongst the others, dressed in a fluffy, knitted grey sweater, a black blazer and jeans. His hat was placed on the side as he sipped on his coffee, finger lazily turning a page in his book. Though his appearance was so unusual, he went by completely unnoticed. Not a single eye caught the sight of him.

He went by the name Jeon, leaving his first name to be a luxury known only to those closest to him.

Although his nose seemed to be pointing to his book, his eyes were observing elsewhere. Scanning, searching.

He noticed the way a woman's lips became redder after sipping quietly on some coffee.

The way a teenagers eyes skimmed over words rapidly whilst reading a mahogany leather book.

Those were just minor distractions, though.

His main focus was the young woman sat at the faraway corner of the café, in the company of a young, red haired man. Her lips, tinted a darker pink, were moving fast, head dipping lower as her eyes stared into her companions, almost pleadingly.

The chime of bells drew his attention away; the woman wouldn't be going anywhere anytime soon.

A young couple entered the café, their eyes set on the seat that Jeon occupied. They skimmed over his figure, just about to place their bags down. He muttered something, his lips barely moving an inch.

The air grew colder, nipping at the couple until they moved away, shaking their head, muttering that it was too cold in that specific spot. Jeon's eyes lingered for a few minutes on the young woman, and, with a sigh, he snapped his book shut.

Gripping tightly on it, he made his way over to his target.

He stood just beside her, watching the man opposite her. He had a heart-shaped smile, almond eyes and ruby-red hair. He often let out an almost intoxicating laugh, the corners of his eyes crinkling up as his smile widened, mirroring that of the woman's.

Jeon leaned down, hands clutching his book behind his back. His nose just barely brushed against the woman's cheek, eyes boring into hers, though she couldn't see him, couldn't feel him. Maybe a small breeze or a shiver, but that's it.

"Y/n L/n." He spoke softly, hand caressing at a loose lock of hair on her head. "22 years old... Female." He continued, this time moving away as he moved to her other side, fingertips leaving featherlight touches over her shoulder.

"Has a family; mother, father, older brother. Single." That last part he had said with an amused huff, his chest raising up and down, heart beating just the slightest bit faster.

He turned his gaze away, looking out through the window.

He could see the waves crashing against the beach perfectly, though the weather was not doing anyone any favours that day. The sky was grey and cloudy, not allowing a single ray of sunshine to pass through.

The water was murky, dark, clawing at the sandy beach below with a spine-chilling fervour. An image flashed through his mind.

The waves, the wooden, soaked dock. Water splashing against it, creating a slippery step. White sneakers stepped over it, a soft voice carried by the harsh winds.

A scream.

Followed by a splash.

Hands thrashed around, reaching out to him from the murky seawater, calling for help.

"Date of death; 15th March 2024." He clicked his tongue loudly and shook his head. "Time; 15:24, died by drowning."

Suddenly, the woman looked at her phone, noticing the time. Her eyes widened in panic, and as she abruptly stood up, she almost spilled her coffee. Slinging her scarf over her neck, she muttered apologies to the man opposite her.

"I'm so sorry Hoseok, I have to go, I'm meeting someone in about half an hour." She said, slinging her hand bag over her shoulder, shoving her phone into her pocket. "It's for my class project, you know, the fish one." She continued, shrugging her shoulders, a tight-lipped smile plastered on her face.

Hoseok's eyes looked up at her, slightly widened, lips parted. Then, he nodded his head in recognition.

"Ahhh, yes. That's fine love, but do you want me to walk you there? I wouldn't want you to slip or something." He said, getting up from his own chair.

"Oh, no no, it's okay! I'll be meeting with Seokjin." She exclaimed, waving her hands in protest. "He collected some statistics from the fishery, so I'll only be getting those and heading straight home after." She said, this time moving around the table to stand by Hoseok's side, placing a warm hand on his shoulder.

"I won't be long, I'll be home before you know it." She said softly, a small smile on her lips.

Hoseok nodded, though his eyes had a suspicious glint in them.

"You better text me as soon as you get home, alright?" He asked, bringing her in for a hug. Y/n exhaled into his shoulder, her hands wrapping around his waist, nodding her head.

"Of course I will. You do the same, okay?" She looked up at him, a quirk in her brow, and with that, the two bid their goodbyes and Y/n was on her way, with a dark, shadowy figure looming over her shoulder.

The walk itself didn't seem to take too long; before she knew it, it was almost half past. The ocean breeze blew past her mercilessly, dragging a strands of hair behind, tangling them into a mess of nightmares.

A strong shudder travelled down her spine, though she downplayed it to just the weather being cruel.

She couldn't see the dark cloud looming over her shoulder, checking the time on his wrist every so often as he stalked after her, black irises growing desperate, hungry. The more souls he collected the better.

The reaper almost wished he could speed the process up, the hairs on the back of his neck standing up on the ends, his body experiencing a new kind of static excitement. He was so close, so so close to-

His eyes widened, feet coming to a stop as he was greeted with a familiar face.

Golden hair glinted even on the murky day, the grey clouds not dimming the glow that surrounded him. His almond eyes travelled to Y/n's, a dimpled smile appearing on his cheeks as he extended a pair of muscular arms out for a hug.

For a moment, Jeon felt a false sense of security; the man couldn't see him.

But that feeling was shattered like a porcelain doll when the man's piercing gaze stabbed right through him. Eyes narrowed like that of a fox, the man's eyebrows furrowed in a fury.

What was the Reaper doing with his precious, little human friend?

Kim Namjoon wondered, his hands rubbing comforting circles over Y/n's back, his grip tightening ever so slightly. His gaze never left Jeon, observing the unmoving figure.

Was Y/n going to die? 

How? 

Why and when? 

Now? 

Like hell he was going to let that happen. 

He was ripped from his spiralling thoughts, Y/n having pulled away and now gazing at him, a look of adoration swimming in her irises. She admired Namjoon, not only for his brains, but also for his kindness.

He was her senior by a year, always busy with new modules and projects set by their shared professors, but he never failed to lend her a helping hand, guiding her in the right direction study-wise.

A lot of her work had also referenced his own research; which was beneficial in many ways.

"Namjoon! I haven't seen you in so long, what are you doing here?!" She asked, a wide grin stretching across her face, her hands rubbing up and down his arms in an attempt to keep him warm.

"I was just coming back from meeting Jin, we were working on collecting some statistics," He paused, moving to walk alongside the young woman, her hand linked around one of his arms.

"Isn't that weird? I was on my way to see him," She responded, turning to give Namjoon a raised brow, "Did he ask you to help him out?"

At that, Namjoon nodded his head, a laugh escaping his lips. He let out a sniffle, his long strides keeping Y/n on her toes as she made an effort to keep in pace with the male.

Jeon followed them like a gloomy cloud, occasionally noticing Namjoon sending daggers at him, a dangerous furrow between his eyebrows. The demon wasn't happy about the threat to his favourite human's life.

He'd do anything to protect her, to keep her by his side.

Jeon knew that the demon was one born of jealousy and greed, but that hadn't phased him. He had met far too many dangerous creatures during his long lifespan, eventually becoming immune to their negative auras and murderous thoughts.

He himself was repenting for his past lives' sins, so it wasn't like he was a saint himself.

It wasn't long before the three met a third creature; a siren, the so-called Seokjin. Though this one couldn't see Jeon, he could feel his presence, Jin's ears peeking up at the unfamiliar tension lurking around Y/n's shoulders.

Just as he was about to ask, Namjoon shot him a death stare, Jin understanding immediately.

'I'll explain later'

The three talked for a while, a few gasps and laughs escaping the conversation. As promised, Jin had collected the data Y/n had requested, his chest puffing up proudly as the woman flicked through the pages eagerly.

"This is amazing Jin! Where the hell did you find all these people?!" She had exclaimed at one point, bringing him in for another hug as she nuzzled her nose into his neck, just beneath his jawline.

"Y'know I've got connections, Y/n/n," He chuckled, sending a cheeky wink at her, "I'm glad I could be of help to you sweets."

The conversation carried on for a little while longer, Y/n parting from the two as she insisted she had to be home early, or else Hoseok would go insane.

With a quick goodbye and hug, she left through the door of the fishing hut, walking along the deck.

The sky was much darker now, and the waves murkier. She couldn't even see her own reflection in the water as she leant over, feeling her sneakers getting soaked.

Water licked at her shoes, aggressively staining the material. She'd have to battle out the salt later on.

Soon, a big wave had made its way towards her, the current almost swaying her off of the deck, tugging at her body. That itself was scary enough for the young woman to hurry her pace, hands stuffed in her pockets as she wearily eyed the water.

The sky seemed gloomier, greyer, more dangerous. Her hurried steps could barely be heard over the splashing of waves against boulders and deck, her heart rate spiking up.

The wind pulled at her hair and scarf, blowing cold wisps of air into her ears and eyes, almost blinding her from how much she needed to blink just to remove the stray sand Pericles from her waterline.

Her hand came up to rub at her eye, thumb pulling at the sand grains. And that was her mistake.

On unsteady feet, a distracted mind, and cold hands, a wave larger than the previous one had smashed against the shore, the draft pulling her backwards as the woman fell, her temple hitting the side of the dense, slippery green wood.

The water engulfed her body completely, dragging her back and forth, the coldness invading her nostrils and wind pipe.

It prickled at her fingers like a thousand tiny blades, but burned her from the inside out like an uncontrollable wildfire. She tried not to panic, she tried so hard. But when your senses are screaming for you to breathe and to get out, it's difficult to stop thrashing around; like a canary in a small cage.

She couldn't see anything, the scalding, salty water forcing her eyelids to close, to seek some form of comfort as she blindly swam through the water, her lungs burning with an unknown agony. 

Her screams occasionally reached her ears, as the waves sadistically teased her, allowing just enough air to enter her lungs before it was deemed enough, and that's when she inhaled what felt like a bucket-full of salty, scratching sea-water.  

Her nose burned, her eyes burned. 

Her throat was on fire, her lungs fighting to push the water out.

Her body was scalding hot.

Her arms thrashed, attempting to form some sort of swim, her legs kicking up as the pounding in her head never eased. 

She fought and fought, forcing her body back to the top, until her limbs grew too tired, until another current swayed her further and further away, until the remaining oxygen had been emptied from her lungs, escaping in small bubbles that slowly floated upwards.

The tips of her fingers prickled, her hair tickling the tip of her nose as it swayed gently, the current becoming calmer the further she sank. The cold enveloped her in an icy embrace, freezing over her skin, tainting it the colour red, her cheeks having lost their usual warm hue. 

Her body hit the sand, small particles lunged upwards, dancing around her grimly. 

The cold was like a blanket, chilling through layers on skin, blood and muscle, finally coiling around her bones like a desperate, starving snake, squeezing tighter and tighter, crushing any feeling she had before she had fallen. 

Her consciousness fought, and the little survival instinct and adrenaline that circled within her body, had all but made the tiniest of twitches prance all over. The quickest flex of a pointer finger, a sudden kick of her foot, or the spasmed leaps of her chest and shoulders.

How much time had passed? Only those above knew. 

Did anyone hear her falling in? Possibly.  

All she knew was the indescribable burning sensation in her chest, the suffocating inability to breathe.

Her vision was pitch-black, her surroundings turning into nothingness as her body slowly caved in, almost curling in on itself. 

She then, suddenly, felt a soft touch on her arm. It tugged at her body, swaying it through the water. Was she dead already? 

It wasn't until she felt a chilling breeze gush past her, her mind empty and blank, unable to tell what was happening. 

The scalding burn that enveloped her body had turned into the most painful coldness she had ever felt. What was happening? Hasn't she had enough? 

But it was too late, as a pair of hands pumped against her chest, another pair stuttering around her face, a soft touch stroking the icy skin of her cheek. She was swallowed by darkness, her mind going numb, body limp, and consciousness far away.

Jeon tutted to himself as he watched the scene unfold, the sight of a half-naked demon trying to resuscitate you, shouting for you to stay away. 

It was ironic, really.

But Jeon knew, that in just a moments time, you would be stood by his side, clawing at your face, pulling your hair, screaming hysterically at the sight of your long-dead body, pleading for one last chance.

Namjoon's hands continued pushing against your chest in rhythmic beats, his breathing laboured and short. Water dripped down the sharp tips of his soaked hair, down onto the muscular, naked expanse of his back. 

Goosebumps run rampant across his sun-kissed skin, though it wasn't because of the cold.

Oh no, Jeon knew exactly what those shivers were.

Excitement. Elation. Pride.

Defiance.

That greedy demon wasn't worried nor was he cold, he was happy!

Jeon squinted his eyes at the creature, knowing he took pride in what he was doing.

With a soft sigh, he inched closer to your body, until he became an eclipse above the demon's shoulders.

He didn't feel an ounce of joy as previous records of numerous deaths unfolded before his eyes, his fist always clutched tight at his side as he half-reminisced, his pupils clouded over, an all too familiar memory coming to flood his senses.

His breathing laboured, pupils blown wide, throat sore as an inaudible hurdle of screams erupted from within his chest. 

The fear he felt, the guilt, the pain. It had all shook him to his core. 

He remembered it so clearly, as though it happened yesterday. 

The way her eyes clouded over, a gasp escaping from her gaped lips.

That day.. That day she left him, clutching the arrow that had been impaled into her chest, the day he lost the love of his life.

Right through the heart.

His frown remained, his chest tightened, for another two or so minutes, before confusion washed over him. Where was she? Wasn't her spirit supposed to appear before him by now?

Slowly reaching into his notepad, the tips of his fingers had just barely brushed against the tip of his Notebook, when the sound of suffocated coughs and gurgles filled his ears. 

She's alive?

How?

What did that stupid, ignorant demon just do?

He could feel his blood begin to boil, the sight of Namjoon's cheery grin and Seokjin's laughter as they had managed to successfully revive you.

[ye-olde-sodor]

Dream Canon Mallard Headcanons!

Mallard is an LNER Class A4 built in 1938, making him one of the youngest members of the Gresley Family. (Aged 62 in this au)

He holds the world record for the Fastest Steam Locomotive in the world. On July 3rd, 1938, he reached 126 mph at just a few months old!

Mallard can be arrogant and mean, but he’s generally well mannered and generous with humans and engines alike…unless an engine dares to defy the hierarchy, then it’s an entirely different case. He's also quite the Optimist, which plays into how he views serious situations.

No one tell him that Henry "Stanier" was built with stolen Gresley blueprints, he'll have a stroke. A merge of the two families would create a nation wide scandal!

He’s in charge of his own Engine Correctional Facility on the Mainland, and has 17 other facilities just like it across the UK!

This idea of correctional facilities came to him sometime after he learned of the scrapping of most of his siblings (save for Spencer and a few others). He was grief stricken, and clung to the first thing that brought him any feelings that weren’t grief and dread.

He noticed that him and a select few of his siblings were preserved because they either performed better than the rest, broke a record, had some major historic significance, or were purchased by foreign railways. It’s the first example that became Mallard’s obsession.

He wanted to give all engines another chance at life. He wanted to see if he could mold an engine to be better than their other siblings, and have them preserved. When the trial of this idea succeeded with Ryan (who was unaware of the trial and assumed he was preserved due to his ties with the other Gresleys), Mallard found his new purpose in life, his spiritual awakening one might say. He’s been operating his correctional facilities ever since.

While he has the best intentions in mind, he’s oblivious to the harm his methods of teaching may cause. He can also be full of himself when he’s convicted he’s right.

His main goal is to expand his facilities to Sodor, the bane of British Rail and to the Engine Hierarchy. He wishes to purchase it and reshape it in his own image. Mallard won’t modernize it, but he wants to bring order and essentially remove what makes Sodor stand out from other heritage lines…it’s numerous accidents and ties to the Reverend Awdry.

He's extremely close to Ryan, who he views as a son. Spencer is a close second, however. While he cares for Scott and Gordon as well, he can't let Scott's "death" get in the way of progress. He'll mourn in secret, not in public. It's the professional way to do it.

As one can probably tell, Mallard sees opportunity in everything, even in death and depression. He's an optimist by nature, and always tries to see the good in everything. Case in point, now that Mallard has part of Scott's inheritance and Gordon doesn't want to work anymore, Mallard has the perfect opportunity to go through with his Sodor Renovation plan!

When Mallard learned that Gordon was struggling to cope with the loss, he offered to take him to the Mainland to get him closer to professionals who can help him.

Spencer became roped into Mallard's scheme, but Spencer isn't too keen on the idea just like everyone else.

Thomas quickly became Mallard's "moral enemy" due to his Anti-hierarchy views. Once Mallard has control over the island's engines, Thomas will be the first one admitted to Mallard's Correctional facility. He's hoping that Ryan can whip him into shape, as he plans to have Ryan run the Sodor facility in the future.

Quotes:

Mallard: "Gordon, my dear brother-"

Gordon: "We're cousins."

Mallard: "Gordon, my dear cousin-" ____________________________________________

Mallard: "So Spencer, how's the island?"

Spencer: "Depressed, demoralized...on the brink of collapse now that Gordon got replaced by those three diesels!"

Mallard: "Oh is it now?~"

Spencer: "Please don't talk like that again-"

Mallard: "Do tell me more about Sodor's, eh...run of bad luck."

____________________________________________

Mallard: “Well look on the bright side…once you feel ready, we can return to Sodor and I get to introduce you to all the new changes I’ve made! :)”

Gordon, half listening: I suppose you’re right-wait WHAT ALL DID YOU CHANGE???”

Mallard: “Secret :3”

____________________________________________

Mallard: "So we're going to put the new Correction Facility over...Oh I don't know where to place it! Spencer, you know the island well, where would be the most optimal location for it?"

Spencer: "I wouldn't say I know it well...but if you're serious about this facility of yours, I'd place it somewhere along the Express route. There's some land near Vicarstown that's unoccupied. It'll be right next to a large yard and station for engines to train. Plus it'll be in close proximity to the Dieselworks."

Mallard: "There's a Dieselworks?! On Sodor?"

Spencer: "Calling it a Works is a bit of a stretch but yes, there is one. It's in complete disrepair though. It's any wonder those diesels despise Topham and our fellow steam engines"

Mallard: "Hmm. Good to know..."

____________________________________________

Mallard: "Y'know, I've been digging into your class lately in order to-"

Thomas: "The Hell?! What are you doing that for, you creep!"

Mallard: "...To better accommodate my courses and lessons to your class, since I've been told you're quite the water hog."

Thomas: "Oh you miserable-"

Mallard: "I'M TRYING TO HELP YOU, YOU TWIT."

____________________________________________

Edward: "We'll lose everything! Sodor's culture, it's heritage, and it's railways. You'll destroy everything that Sodor stands for if you go through with your plan!"

Mallard: "Ah, so my plan will work! What wonderful news! Now we can get started on making a new Sodor!"

Edward: ಠ_ಠ

Mallard: "One with our beloved hierarchy, no confusion or delay, and more attention to the poor and neglected diesels!"

Diesel 10: "Hell yeah! Finally, a Steamer who gets it!"

Edward: "He's using you to push his own agenda you twit! He'll forget about you once he-"

Mallard: "Step right up then, my fellow machine! Show me around the Diesel Works so I can make arrangements to give it a complete overhaul!"

Diesel 10: "Gladly Mr. eh...Mallard was it?"

Edward, under his breath: "Oh you can fuck right off..."

[minneywoon]

Adult Nobara! Having experienced the incident in the Shibuya arc, has reduced her shopping outings, not out of boredom but because she believes she should dedicate more time to her training. She knows she is capable and determined to become even stronger. Nobara is a resilient and unyielding young woman who vows never to let anyone hurt her again, especially someone like the trash stitched face. Kugisaki shattered her Straw Doll Technique in a way unimaginable to even the creator, Gege. Determined to improve, Nobara wields a sword for exorcism and is building her own arsenal of jujutsu sorcerery. By refining her aura control (That Mahito couldn't shape with her soul), she could amplify her physical abilities, increase her speed and strength, and potentially unlock hidden potential within herself.

Adult Yuji! Struggles to overcome the weight of the numerous deaths behind him, including Junpai, Nanami, Gojo, Choso, and Higiroma, and many more. However, he refuses to let self-reflection consume him as it did in his youth. He has his besto friendo Todo by his side, and Kugisaki has awakened from her coma. Fushiguro is also back, albeit changed by his traumatic experiences. But like his two closest friends, Yuuji is strong and he can prove it. He believes in Fushiguro and will always protect his friends in every way possible. Consequently, he works diligently on his new Cursed Technique: The Shrine, a raw and effective development distinct from Sukuna's power. It marks the dawn of a new era in Modern Jujutsu Sorcery.

 "Compassion and self-reflection... are necessary for growth and change, not for weakness."

Adult Megumi! Struggles to regain his mental equilibrium and find a purpose worth living and fighting for. Despite his efforts, he hears the demonic voice that once controlled him, echoing through his mind and shadows. He can't believe such a fate befell him—a fate he never anticipated. Drowning in darkness, he huddles, tears streaming from closed eyes. His tightly clenched fists instinctively yearn to summon his last hope, Mahoraga, but it no longer belongs to Fushiguro; it is now possessed by The King of Curses.

Now free from the demon's influence, Megumi opens his eyes once more and gazes into the light. Gray light. It's not the same as before. He knew this when he first embraced the path of a Jujutsu Sorcerer. Tsumiki is dead, and he played a part in it, (Sukuna used Megumi's nonblood hand). Gojo, who he held in high regard, now dwells in heaven, his body inhabited by Okkotsu Yuta, whom he considered a monster. Even his Ten Shadow Technique has vanished.

Who will prevent Megumi from condemning himself? Itadori knows it the best. He managed to bring some sense and meaning back into Megumi's life, even if just a little. As the years pass, Megumi finds solace in a good reason. His Cursed Technique resurfaces, for shadows never dissipate so easily, as Miguel once said. This time, the ancient shadows give birth to stronger shikigami. Megumi never fully comes to terms with what Sukuna did to him, but he learns to suppress it. Once he gains that control, he will never allow anyone to drag him back into a darkness deeper than shadows. With his friends by his side, he can rectify his "unintentional" mistakes.

[oumaheroes]

Do Not Go Gentle

Ériu

Albion

Alba

Warnings for death

--------

Cymru first dies crowded.

He is no stranger to death. It is all around him, every day- something as unavoidable and normal as children being born, or the weather changing in the sky. Lambs die. Birds die. Plants die- the earth turns over and around and things fall forever into the night, whether you understand why or not.

Their humans talk about death like an ending, an inevitable event that comes for them as though life is a rope forever pulling them forwards to a final stop, and Cymru watches from his safe distance as the years pass by hardly touching him. Although one day there will be an end for him, it is so long into the future, longer than any mortal lifespan, that it does not register with the same impact as it must do for them.

 But Mama says that their people are right, and that he should listen more carefully.

‘Here.’ She calls him over to her one day, crouched low by a pond, hands cupped and close to her chest. She opens them as he approaches to reveal a small bird within. He cannot tell what kind it is- colours mutes and shape disguised by what he notices first and foremost.

It does not move.

‘Oh,’ He says, saddened. ‘Is it..?’

Mama gestures for him to hold out his hands. He does so, reluctantly, and she gently places the body within. The bird is young, almost old enough to leave the nest but not yet- downy feathers cover the few full, strong adult ones and circle around its neck like a torc. Its eyes are closed and bulging, its bones too loose when he shifts his hands underneath it.

Cymru wants to let go, but doesn’t. Knows he shouldn’t.

‘It was where it shouldn’t have been,’ Mama says. She picks up the bird between forefinger and thumb and turns it over by the head in Cymru’s hands, quick and rough, as if the bird is nothing more to her than a seed or a stone. The movement of it, the dead weight and wide angles, is wrong. She taps the downy feathers which are more numerous on the other side, ‘See here? These feathers are waterlogged. They collected the water and pulled it under, so that it couldn’t swim back up.’

Cymru feels sick. The bird feels dirty, unnatural in the way it lay in his palms, and he longs to throw it away and wipe his hands clean. But Mama is there, watching, and Cymru knows that his brothers would be as unaffected by it as she is.

‘Even if it could have swum to safety, it might have instead died in the fall. Or been caught by a larger bird, or animal. Might have died from sickness before it fell, or abandoned and starved by its parents.’ Mama’s voice is soft but she holds one hand under Cymru’s two, forcing him to look at what he holds. The bird’s head is too big, its beak too wide and closed eyes too round. He swallows back the whine in his throat, and the jerk of revulsion he wants to let out.

‘To live is to be lucky.’ Mama lifts up one of the small wings by the tip, almost adult feathers fanning like fingers, ‘There is no boundary we can cross to pass into safety, and no time limit to survive in order to avoid it. Death can happen at any time, for anything, and everything that lives today is luckier than it knows. One chance amongst thousands.’

Just as Cymru can handle holding the bird no longer, Mama takes it from him and lays it back in the shallows of the pond. It sits there, half submerged and glistening as Mama takes his hands and washes them, before drying them on her tunic.

‘Do not think, as all young things do, that your chances will never run out.’ She meets his eye, catching him by the chin and regarding him seriously, ‘It is just as easy for us to lose the piece of luck we have as the people we watch over. The only difference between us and them, is that we have a few guaranteed half chances to remind ourselves of how precious life is.’

There are fine lines around her eyes, strands of silver in her flame red hair, but her grip is tight, muscles of her arms strong. Cymru nods, and she softens.

-----------------

‘There are so many people.’

On Alba’s shoulders, Cymru grips the wooden posts to keep them both steady. ‘I didn’t know there could even be so many.’

‘There will be more than this in a few days.’ Mama says.

On her knees, she finishes wrapping Albion to her back and glances up at Cymru and Alba where they stand atop the woodstore, peering over the mound’s defences. In the early morning light, shapes and activity emerge from the retreating shadows like a slow retreating tide. Down the hill, all around the base of the settlement, people are erecting temporary shelters and pitching their animals. Winter solstice is here, with its darkest and coldest of nights, but this year it is apparently a particularly special one.

Cymru doesn’t really understand why. Something about the stars, or the years. Or where the sun hits the ancient stones nearby as it rises and falls- a tradition older than even Mama, passed down from the people before her who stood the circles of stones so tall all over their islands. All Cymru knows is that it is busy, with more people than he has ever seen before going to and fro and glancing his way whenever he goes near them. When Cymru and his family had arrived to stay for the winter a few months ago, this mound had been nothing more than home to one clan. Now, the mound and the lands around it was home to people from at least seven.

Cymru’s eyes pass over all of them, stretched out to the lake on the horizon, his breath clouding in front of him like smoke.

Mama stands with a grunt, testing the weight and position of the wraps keeping Albion -still sleeping- securely in place, and clicks at them with her tongue to come down. ‘There is to be another King and his people arriving today.’ She licks her thumb and rubs a dark smudge of something off Alba’s cheek, ‘I have to meet him properly.’

This means that she will be gone for hours down in the new camp, learning and sharing whatever news this new group of people have to bring. Her children will need to stay away and represent their family on their own. Alba straightens, turning to seriously observe the longhouses and storage buildings as if searching for fault.

‘Ah, a keen guardsman I see before me.’ Mama strokes back Alba’s hair fondly, ‘Today, you can be off duty.’

Alba reddens and scowls, hunching his shoulders, ‘I didn’t do anything.’

Mama laughs through her nose, ‘Good, because we don’t need guards people up here. But we do need ambassadors down there.’ She takes Alba by the shoulders and steers him through the village to the open wooden gates leading to the descent. Their people move aside for them as they pass, Cymru trailing just behind her watching Albion’s fair head against her back.

They stop at the gate- thrown open wide- and move off to the side to let a hunter and his pelts go by: foxes, badgers, and deer.

‘You see those trees and lake?’ A sharp and dramatic turn of Alba to the right, Mama’s hands still about his shoulders.

He laughs, staggering on his feet, ‘Yes.’

‘Oh? What about that field?’ A sharp, wide twist to the left.

He laughs again, stumbling to right himself, ‘I see it.’

‘Good. Well, there are a lot of different children milling about now and they don’t all speak the same tongue. I need some very important people to mix them together and act as a bridge between everyone, in that such field or those such trees. Maybe a game that everyone can play; make them feel comfortable and united.’

‘You want us to play?’ Alba sounds offended, laughter vanishing immediately.

Mama inclines her head, ‘I want you to negotiate amity.’

Alba looks to the swarms of shelters and people, then back up at Mama, ‘…What?’

‘It’s important that everyone here feels part of the same thing.’ Mama says. She drums her fingers like spider legs, fluttering them onto the scarf around Alba’s neck, ‘That’s hard to do when you don’t speak the same language and you’re in a strange place. Not everyone travels like we do. For most, this will be their first time outside of everything that they know.’

Alba doesn’t say anything. He looks back down at the sprawling camp, his face away from Mama so only Cymru can see that he’s dissatisfied. Cymru feels guilty for some reason, although he doesn’t know why. There is something he is missing that Alba understands, and he wishes he were older to figure it out.

‘It is an important job,’ Mama tells them, ‘It is what we need to do. It is what I am doing with the Kings and Queens and priests; their sons and daughters are just as important. I cannot do all at once, but all should be done.’

Alba doesn’t reply. Mama eyes the crown of his head, then winks at Cymru. She lifts her hands from Alba’s shoulders to shift Albion higher, ‘Never mind. There are a lot of them, thinking about it properly. Too many, I think; maybe it’s best I do it.’

‘I can do it.’ Alba says instantly, ‘There aren’t that many.’

Mama pulls a face, conflicted, ‘I’m not sure, it will be difficult. I was wrong to ask you, it will take patience and good communica-‘

‘We can do that.’ Alba grabs Cymru’s hand and Cymru feels panicked. ‘I can take some and Cymru can take some others. We’ll find Ériu and get him to help too. We’ll do a different language each and get together that way.’

Mama tilts her head from side to side. ‘Perhaps that will work.’

‘It will.’

‘And what will you do if they don’t want to play the same thing?’

‘We can play different things between us.’

Cymru looks up at Mama, helplessly. He does not share Alba’s confidence; there are indeed so many people, so many children. How would he talk to them? What would he say?

‘And what if there are arguments?’

Alba frowns, considering his answer, ‘I’ll listen and try to fix it.’

‘How about if some children do not wish to play?’

Alba doesn’t know the answer to that one.

‘They don’t have to.’ Cymru suggests, ‘They can watch, if they want. Or join in later. I could look after those ones.’

He does not know what games or activities Alba is thinking of offering, but none that Cymru can imagine will be things he is good at. He cannot run very fast, nor throw as far as his brothers can. He cannot climb to the tallest branches, or hunt on his own. The idea of embarrassing his family, of damaging the way they are seen by their people, is more than he can bear.

Cymru worries that Mama will see through his selfish suggestion but she smiles at them both. ‘Wonderful ideas,’ she says. She bends to brush down Cymru’s front and slides her fingers under his scarf to the fat, gold torc at his neck, ‘What clever ambassadors I have.’

-----------------

It works out better than Cymru expected.

Alba does the talking, as Cymru thought that he would. He moves amongst the groups, collecting children as he goes and directing them all to the field away from the campsites as Cymru follows at his side. Most they ask choose to join in, eager to be away from the tedium of moving and the tense atmosphere of being somewhere unfamiliar. Some have been walking all night but still want to come.

It is awkward, at first. Cymru does not know what to do with himself, does not know how to begin when people know who he is but don’t know him at all. But then he speaks to one girl on his own, hands shaking, then another. Then a boy, taller than he is, who grins down at him and follows where Cymru points him without question. Alba finds an empty pig’s bladder and blows it up, and before too long there is shrieking and running and Cymru forgets himself amongst it all.

Ériu runs over to join them with some older children not long later, fresh from hunting and eager to take part.

‘What else?’

A good while later, the poor pig’s bladder lays between their feet, finally deflated after numerous games kicked about the open field.

‘I’ll find another bladder. I’m sure there are lots going spare.’

Ériu shakes his head, ‘No, it’s getting boring.’

‘Chase, then? “It”, or something.’

Ériu makes a face, ‘I don’t want to do any more running.’ Cymru heartily agrees. ‘What about stories?’

Alba snorts, ‘How will that work if they can’t all understand it.’

‘We can translate.’

‘That’s just stupid.’

‘You’re stupid.’

‘How about the lake.’ Cymru cuts in quickly. The human children are close by, some running about on their own and others beginning to drift and talk in clumps. ‘We can slide on the ice and have races. Less running and we can use a rock instead of a bladder.’

Ériu looks at Alba, who avoids his eye to look down at Cymru. He then turns to observe the lake behind him. It is a cloudy day and the lake’s surface is dark, swallowing the reflections of the hills behind it so that it seems bottomless.

After a moment, Alba turns back, ‘Not a bad idea. Men were out there yesterday and it’s still cold today. Ice should be solid but we’ll need to get someone to check before we tell the others to follow us. One of the taller hunters; if he says it’s safe, we go.’

Ériu doesn’t seem convinced. ‘With all of us at the same time though? It might crack.’

‘There were deer on it the other day.’

‘That was the other day. It was sunny yesterday and what if the sun comes out again?’

Alba tuts and throws his hands up. Cymru knows that Alba will not take them on to the lake unless he was sure it will hold them, and also knows that Ériu will worry regardless of what Alba tries.

‘Hide and seek in the trees.’ He offers, ‘No one has to run, or talk to each other, and even the smaller ones can join in. And the hunts have already happened today,’ he adds for Ériu, ‘So the forest should be clear of anything dangerous.’

Cymru is satisfied when Ériu relaxes and Alba grins, impressed, ‘Yeah. That’ll do.’

A mad dash for the trees, Alba counting loudly at the edge in a mixture of languages,  1 2 3 in one and 4 5 6 in another.

With the field, campsite, and lake working as their designated hiding area, Cymru watches children scatter as Alba’s counting begins, his back to them. Cymru waits for them to clear and settle, keeping an ear on Alba’s voice, and searches for somewhere unique.

He knows not to stray too far. Mama has told them many stories of children who have become turned around forever by ancient trees, too confused and lost in the press of their trunks to ever find their way home again. The fae live within and they are tricky, fickle things- eager and hungry for wayward travellers. Everything can look the same if you’re not careful, Mama says, fae or not, so always find somewhere high above the treeline and keep it in sight when you walk somewhere new.

Luckily, there is a lot here to choose from- lake, hills. Cymru chooses the largest hill that crests over the trees to be his marker and begins.

The woods breathe. Whispered wind in the empty boughs of trees follow him above the high laughter of children, the hollow thumps of their feet on the forest’s earthen floor.

There is too much to choose from, yet also not much at all. Cymru is proud of himself when he finds a shallow cave, the top most rocks mossy and topped with a small, wizened tree, but several pairs of eyes already blink out at him from the mouth and so moves on quietly. The slope of a small hill has several bushes, but others have got to them first. Feet dangle overhead from branches he cannot reach, and some lay as half hidden shapes under old leaves, laying themselves down flat and still in the earth. One Cymru finds in the hollow of a fallen tree, and the tall girl presses a finger to her lips with eyes that plead with him to leave her there alone.

Far away, Alba stops counting and Cymru runs.

He jumps down a slope but at the bottom the hill with which he is marking his direction falls out of his sight so he scrabbles back up. He is tempted to press himself into its bank like some other children he’s seen, but he knows that Alba- keen, observant eyes- will find him. He wants to not be found first, wants to be good at the game he’s suggested- wants to win.

He hears running, hears footsteps come closer, and a mix of frustration and shame brings tears to his eyes.

Then, as he stands frozen and unsure, his mind blank, he spots a burrow. It is narrow, a stretched oval under the roots of an old tree which cover the entrance. Small and dark, it looks like a squeeze even for him but the leaves around it are undisturbed and a cobweb spans the top corner, from one root to the base of some nettles. Noone else has found it yet. Cymru sprints to it with relief.

He goes head first, arms brushing away more cobwebs that wait inside. The dirt floor of the burrow, damp at the entrance, dries the further he goes in and the air is cool and still. He is in to his chest when he catches it- the smell of animals, musky and heavy. He cannot tell how old this burrow is; it hasn’t been used long enough for the cobwebs to form, at least. 

Cymru hesitates.

Then, he hears the shouts of Alba’s first victim, a cry of wounded glee, and he makes up his mind. It’s tight. He has to wiggle on his belly to go in further, the space too tight for him to crawl on hands and knees. He can feel his feet sticking out, kicking freely as he shifts, but he finds purchase on a root and, with one last firm kick, he is fully inside.

The earth holds him still. He breathes in, slowly, carefully, and feels the walls around him push back on all sides. His heartbeat slows as he relaxes and then all he can hear is himself, the outside world muffled and removed and distant. Inside the burrow it is silent, with no breeze or movement apart from himself.

It is a comforting feeling, to be contained so completely. He wonders if this is how babies feel, inside their mothers as they grow. Wonders if he had ever felt this way before, when he was wherever he had come from. Maybe he’d come from a burrow such as this, pushed up from the earth once fully grown and ready to be found by Mama. He cannot see how far ahead the burrow continues but when he stretches his arms out ahead, he meets nothing but air. Satisfied, he lays his head on his outstretched arms and closes his eyes.

Time passes. Then more.

Cymru can sometimes hear children, shouting and screeching as they’re found and Alba gives chase. He hears Ériu once, cackling and stomping somewhere nearby. Someone comes near enough to Cymru’s tree that he can feel them, the earth vibrating gently with each footfall as the muted sound reverberates through the ground. But no one finds him, and slowly but surely the sounds of the other children in this area of the forest soften, before disappearing altogether.

‘Ris!’

Then he jolts, hitting his head in the dark.

It is later. He knows this because he needs to relieve himself, and because his arm is numb underneath his head. One or both must have woken him.

He stretches as much as he can, and yawns, wiggling his fingers to relieve the needles that spike through. He wonders what is for dinner tonight, for surely it must be time for something to eat. From outside, there are voices.

At first, he doesn’t know what they are saying. They’re faint, far away. Then-

‘Ris!’

He thinks he hears Alba.

Then again-

‘Ris! Come out!’

Ériu.

If Cymru strains he can hear several more voices, all calling for him. The game must be over. Far from feeling elated though, he feels panic.

The children- he can hear them now, louder- call for him as ‘Cymru’, his true name. But his brothers call for him by the name which Mama gave him. It is a name that no one but family knows, a name that is just for himself, not for who he is, and his brothers using it means that something is wrong.

The thud of someone running, then Ériu is closer. He screams Cymru’s name, breathless as though he is running, and there’s a sharp edge of fear to his voice that Cymru has never heard before.

Cymru’s stomach goes cold. Ériu‘s fear flows into him and his mind works fast. How long has he been gone? How long have his brothers been looking? Mama is going to be so angry; he hopes that his brothers haven’t gone to her yet.

His brother’s voice grows quieter, he is moving away. The wrong way.

‘Ériu! Wait!’

Quickly, Cymru tries to push himself backwards. His hands slip on the walls, dirt crumbling into his eyes, his mouth, and he coughs. He tries again.

And again.

And again.

Each time, his hands slip. They cannot hold the force his arms need to move his body backwards. He tries, the floor, the ceiling. Tries with his feet, toes digging into the earth and smacking against the sides. Knees to floor, elbows to walls and hands everywhere at once but nothing gives. He is stuck. The more he wiggles, the more he can feel himself slip further inside, and mounting terror soon overwhelms him to leave him sobbing.

‘Alba! Alba, I’m here!’

His heart pounds like a drum in his hearts, blood rushing to his face, his neck. He wants to get out. He doesn’t care that Mama will know; he wants her to find him. Even if she drags him out in front of everyone he doesn’t care, he wants to go home. The walls around him grow tighter, the darkness blacker, and Cymru fights for breath and he chokes against tightening lungs.

‘ADAIR! PADARN! Help!’

As he struggles, he hears movement from within the dark. Something soft at first, a rustle under his crying, but then there’s a growl- warm breath on his knuckles, something wet dripping onto his split skin.

He is where he doesn’t belong, Cymru realises the moment before pain hits. He is a creature that is not where it should be, and what is going to learn the truth of what comes next.

He closes his eyes, crosses his arms across his face, and screams.

-----------------

He wakes to white hot fire.

It is all over him- his chest, his neck, his arms. A burning, searing agony that rips a cry from him as he twists, the darkness swimming and churning.

‘Shhhh, shhh my love.’

Cymru hears Mama. He feels her touch him, gentle and light on his shoulder but his skin shreds itself anew at the pressure and he arches away. He cannot see, cannot think- the pain is too great. Life has returned to a body that is not ready, a soul to a house it cannot call home. Cymru pushes his head back against whatever lies underneath it as the walls of his mind close in, biting down on a life too new to taste.

-----------------

When he awakes next, the shapes can move.

The agony is duller, arms stiff and wooden when he moves them.

‘Don’t.’ Ériu says. He sounds scared, nervous. In front of something he doesn’t understand, ‘Don’t touch it.’

Fingers on his chest, something cool laid over his eyes. Albion laughs in the background at the bray of a goat, and Cymru slips away.

When he returns to himself fully, confused and tired, he finds that it is Spring.

-----------------

Cymru does not consider himself a cautious man.

He is wary, as any living thing is, but not foolishly so. Life and death come together, he understands, and the possibility of death will not keep him from living. He has suffered many worse deaths than his first, and more of the same. Burning, beheading, quartering- so many terrible ways that man imagine death for themselves, on top of all the organic riches that nature provides.

He does not fear the ground, nor the dark. Not like Alba and the endless deep, nor Ériu and his complicated feelings. Still, Cymru knows himself to be changed.

Sometimes, when the voices around him are too loud, or the tensions in the air too high, Cymru feels the edges of his mind grow dark. Invisible earthen walls press closer on all sides, his breathing tightens, his heart races, and he finds himself walking- up up up. Up into the sky, up to the tallest thing he can see, where the world can swing freely under his feet and the ground cannot swallow him. Back where he should be and where he is safe, above the earth with nothing but the airy sky around him.

There are times when he does not even know what he is doing until he is up there- the sun sinking lower in the sky when before it had been morning. Sometimes, he takes himself before he needs to go, knowing what will come if he doesn’t. The world changes, humans move in with their cement and brick, but there are always places left for him to go. Untouched hikes, lonely crags of his northern mountains where humans fear to walk lest they become lost and topple off the sharp, unseen edge. Cymru knows his lands like he knows his people, knows them more than he knows himself, and knows that his land will always hold some places hidden, just for him.

Perched on the edge of perilous drops, his feet far above the floor below, Cymru feels more himself than he does anywhere else. For this, he knows he is luckier than most.

-----------------

AN:

This came from a very old headcanon explored in Wind Walk, Afterlife, and even chapter 2 of this fic. I hope my Wales makes more sense to you now!

For anyone who had questions about Wales from Ériu’s chapter, you’ll just have to wait for the next update to see if you can unpick things 😉

As for their names: ‘Adair, Padarn, Ris’- the names I usually use for the British Isles siblings are actually newer than the time period I am writing this fic in. But, I wanted the affect of their human names to be used and so chose the closest approximations I could for them to still be recognisable.

Thanks for reading!

[lettersfromaphrodite]

«flames to dust.»

― pairing : Chris x fem! reader ― content warnings : soulmates au, angst with a happy ending, magic au, medieval settings, implied smut, pay attention to Seungmin and Hyunjin's dynamics, locations and sceneries are inspired from Black Desert Online as always, a few LOTR quotes here and there because of reasons,⚠️mention of violence, mention of death, character death(s) the main pairing is safe, mentions of blood, mention of the skinning tattoo technique, mention of violence, choking (sadly, not in the kinky way!!!)⚠️ ― word count : 43k ― notes : she's back. she's longer. she's a one shot // special thank you to my girlies @stressedfranya and @helav98, this fic wouldn't have existed if not for your support and our continuous brainstorming // Lea's character is inspired from my lovely and beloved @minbiny, aka my wonderful soulmate.

― notes : take a look at the deities! Karanda - Goddess of Air // Garmoth - God of Fire // Vell - God of Water // Offin - Goddess of Earth // Kzarka - God of Rot and Corruption // credits for the deities amazing gifsets and pics: @unikornu

― summary :

The only certainty you had, was that you were running out of time. As fate repeated itself and the pressure of being responsible for the fate of countless people had been placed on your shoulders, would you allow yourself to love and to be loved in return?

PREQUEL 🔮 : «do you believe in fate?»

PROLOGUE

The “Cursed Castle” stood tall at the world’s end: made of lava stone and golden amber, its menacing appearance was enough to make people fear everything about who lived in it and within its increasing territories. Moreover, dark and thick clouds were constantly hovering above the Castle’s territories – almost shielding it from the light of the Sun, therefore making it impossible for even the faintest ray of sunlight to reach over those numerous layers of darkness.

The fallen King had once been a good, adventurous and magnanimous man; as a child of Fire, he had the pleasure to meet both Garmoth – the God of Fire, and his soulmate – a child of Air. Actually, some even said that the King had lived a life full of love, showering both his wife and their daughter with affection, until that love that once filled his everyday routine had been abruptly taken away from him without any notice.

From the moment his wife had passed away because of a strange and incurable illness, the King had gradually withered from the path filled with joy and love he had always walked on, just to venture himself in a mysterious and darker path. Slowly, a mysterious menacing power took hold of both his heart and soul, mutating his elemental powers and therefore, changing the appearance of his once bright red eye – now reduced to a black, void and emotionless orb. Within the years, the sadness of losing his soulmate had turned into an obsession, and with the only goal to tear apart the four Gods one by one, the King started to gather children of Nature under his dominion, succeeding in tainting their conscience and changing the nature of their powers as well. With the help of his seven long-time friends – eventually called the “Seven Generals of the Underworld”, the King had managed to keep the world in check and constantly on the verge of war, becoming a different but bigger threat than the Serendia Shrine ever was.

To the Gods, it was impossible to understand how a single man had managed to generate to create such a dark power completely by himself; no matter how deep their sorrow was, humans were not supposed to generate a brand new kind of magic, let alone corrupt people – almost hypnotizing them, to join their army. At some point, the Gods suspected for their nemesis – the God of Corruption, to have arisen once again, even if the possibilities were highly improbable. Before the world as it was known took shape, an otherworldly battle had taken place – modelling the sea, mountains and the sky into a different shape than the one people were used to see; many Gods fell trying to defeat Kzarka, and only four of them managed to survive, sealing him away with extreme fatigue. Therefore, the four Gods started to suspect that the fallen King had managed to found something he was not supposed to, something related to the battle against the God of Corruption, something that could dangerously increase his natural power while feeding on his desire of revenge.

As for you, the fallen King was probably the man you loved the most. Even if you were constantly trying to ignore the fact that the more time went by, the more he lost his self and his memories to darkness, the faint hope of managing to save both him and your cherished uncles kept burning in your heart, a faint hope that would have soon flared up.

As dejecting as it was, however, you spent years silently watching your father losing his memories the more his power increased, to the point that sometimes he couldn’t recognize you – his own daughter, as well. «I know your face…» he would mumble, lost in thoughts, as his narrowed eyes scrutinised your features; he’d mumble your name few seconds later, a kind and fond smile suddenly growing on his lips and an identical one growing on yours, accompanied by the faint trace of tears forming in your eyes and sorrow enveloping your heart in a tight hold. Although you were a child of Fire, everyone had told you that your resemblance with your mother was uncanny and therefore, sometimes, you wondered if your father had forgotten about your mother as well.

The heels of your leather boot clicked against the marble floor in a rhythmic way, as you were making your way towards a familiar figure standing against the railway of one of the Castle’s wide balconies; you  politely greeted him, and he gently tilted his head towards you in a hint of a bow.

«Uncle Seonghwa,» you gently spoke, breaking the temporary and comfortable silence, «could you tell me something about mom and dad, please?» you asked him, as the memories of your parents slowly seemed to be held hostage by a threatening fog, almost preventing you from remembering what you wanted to.

«They loved each other a lot,» Seonghwa answered with a sad smile, «your mother had always been an excellent fighter, she would be proud of you.» he added, and you nodded briefly, a small smile adorning your lips. After that, Seonghwa told you about the adventures he lived with your parents, and you closed your eyes while listening to his words, trying to imagine everything as best as you could.  

Unbeknownst to the two of you, someone else was leaning against the doorframe, hiding from your sight; his head was slightly tilted, and his gaze was unfocused, as if he was suddenly remembering everything his long-time friend was telling you.

Someone, no one but the fallen King – Kim Hongjoong.

CHAPTER I

«Wake up, sleepy head,» you acknowledged Wooyoung’s gentle voice with a groan as you shifted in bed, covering your head with the blanket, reluctant to wake up.

«Five more minutes... What time is it?» you mumbled tiredly with your eyes tightly closed, as you felt the bed dip under Wooyoung’s weight.

«It’s hard to tell,» Wooyoung replied, gently removing the blanket from your head as he glanced out of the window; it was almost impossible to keep track of time due to the fact that a thick layer of clouds was constantly preventing anyone from glancing at the sun, «according to Yeosang’s watch, it should be seven in the morning.»

«What in the world do we need to do at seven in the morning?!» you questioned him, rubbing your eyes in the vain attempt to wake up faster.  Something in the smile erupting on Wooyoung’s lips was definitely tense, but you were still too asleep to notice that something was different; Wooyoung simply answered that the two of you needed to go shopping, because according to him, you absolutely needed new clothes. 

«It’s like talking with your mom all over again,» he replied with a brief giggle as you tried to convince him that the clothes you already owned were more than enough, «hurry up, or I’ll call Jongho.» he eventually said, and as if he spoke some magic words, you immediately sat up in bed, ready to wash up and get dressed, despite your prior complains; being woken up by Jongho meant the whole mattress being flipped – with you still on it, towards the ground as soon as you said you didn’t want to wake up. Of course, Jongho would still be careful and help you up, but for you it had become an unconditional reflex: as soon as you heard either his name or his voice first thing in the morning, any trace of sleep seemed to vanish from your soul in the blink of an eye.

«Hongjoong wants you to have this,» Wooyoung added, placing a velvet box on your bedside table, before walking out of your bedroom.

Both being incredibly curious and both hoping that you father had returned to his old self, you reached out as soon as the wooden door closed behind Wooyoung’s shoulders, and getting a little more comfortable on the bed, you hesitantly opened the small box. A silver earring laid alone on top of a small cushion made of black silk, it was nothing too precious, but it still managed to make your heart swell; a small feather carved in silver hung from a small circle, and you immediately realized that it was the feather attached to the necklace that your mother used to wear everyday, as if it was her second skin. 

Although you were incredibly happy about the present, a doubt immediately formed in your heart: since your mother had passed away, Hongjoong had always worn her necklace, so, why was he suddenly gifting it to you? A whirlwind of questions started to form in your head as you washed up and got ready for your date with Wooyoung, and as you headed out of your room, the earring was safely dangling from your left ear.

-

The citadel extended around the Castle for a few miles, and it had nothing to envy to other cities, not even to the Capital. The marketplace was vast, and – although the dubious morality the people living within the kingdom’s territories had, they were always cheerful and lively. Hongjoong had managed to corrupt an almost unquantifiable number of children of Nature, but even so, not everyone following his lead was corrupted, nor could use elemental magic: those who were organizing the market – or the ones taking care of the commercial matters, were almost always their uncorrupted partners.

It was not uncommon for a husband which couldn’t use elemental magic to follow his wife just because he was worried for her, and vice versa; eventually, those people accepted their fate, and tried to understand the purpose behind Hongjoong’s wicked plans, tying to convince themselves that it was for their own good as well.

Hongjoong’s kingdom stood in a strategic position: dangerous and steep mountains stretched around the citadel to the east, south and west, while a part of dense woodland extended to the north; mighty rivers naturally moulded through the mountains and passed through part of the undisturbed woods. Therefore, not only was the kingdom almost completely impregnable, but it didn’t need any kind of external trade: Hongjoong’s kingdom was completely self-sufficient, and in continuous expansion. Over the years, even clothings had changed significantly: dark colours were the only thing people wore, and leather details or harnesses were used in the most various combinations, whether for aesthetic purposes or strategic ones – it wasn’t rare for daggers to be attached to someone’s thigh. This different and singular fashion became extremely characteristic, to the point that anyone could easily notice when inhabitants of the cursed kingdom ventured into foreign lands.

For the whole morning, Wooyoung seemed a man on a mission: not only he managed to buy a huge quantitative of clothes, but he managed to buy clothes which definitely did not seem to belong to the general aesthetic everyone used to wear. As the two of you were carefully making space in your wardrobe for the things you bought, it didn’t go unnoticed how Wooyoung almost seemed to wanting to hide them into the left corner of the wooden structure; whether you had any doubts about his behaviour, you decided to keep quiet.

Honestly, recently you had noticed a slight change in Seonghwa’s, Wooyoung’s and San’s behaviour; they’d glance worriedly ad each other every now and then, or entertain what seemed a dramatic argument just to immediately change their behaviour as soon as you approached them, clearly tying not to worry you. Although you tried to question them few times, you decided to eventually drop the subject, since it was clear that no one was going to tell you anything about what they were worried about. 

«I can’t believe I still look so good,» Wooyoung spoke all of a sudden, catching his reflection of the mirror next to the two of you; instinctively, you scoffed while hiding an amused smile.  Time passed extremely slowly, and life expectancy was extremely long, especially for children of Nature. It wasn’t rare to meet people few centuries old; unless one’s life ended by illness or battles, people aged extremely slowly. However, you had to admit that what was happening to Hongjoong and the others was definitely not normal: twenty four years had passed since the day you were born, and nothing had changed in their appearance. Eventually, you convinced yourself that it was yet another consequence of the darkness corrupting their hearts; but still, you silently questioned why it didn’t have any effect on you. 

«Stop being so surprised,» you joked, «I bet San makes sure to tell you at least twice a day.» as you sat on your bed once again, you saw a confident smile appearing on Wooyoung’s lips, who was still looking at himself in the mirror. 

«At any chance he gets, actually.» he clarified, talking about his beloved husband, and you shook your head; you had to admit, it was refreshing to see them being so in love despite everything happening around you, and once again, you couldn’t help but wonder whether they would one day forget about each other, just like what was happening to your father.

A sudden knock on the door caught your attention, and the door slightly opened only for Mingi to partially lean into the room; there had been a day where Mingi cherished for you and showered you with affection just like how Wooyoung, San and Seonghwa were still doing, but sadly, those days were long gone. Mingi had been one of the first ones to be completely corrupted by Hongjoong’s power, and therefore, his behaviour towards you was strictly formal, going from teaching you how to fight without tripping on your feet, to talking to you only if needed.

«Hongjoong summoned us for a meeting.» he simply said, before quickly closing the door, as if he had never been there in the first place.  Still, your heart started to race; you didn’t know what to expect, especially because anytime your father wanted to have a meeting, it was never because he wanted to deliver good news.

Usually, Hongjoong called a meeting just to set up an efficient organization for an upcoming war, which you desperately wanted to prevent, but you didn’t have nor the power, nor the authority to oppose his ideas. 

-

«Yeosang has incredibly good news.» Hongjoong spoke with a satisfied grin, as the nine of you were standing in front of him, who was comfortably sitting on his throne.

Compared to the extravagant and precious furnishings of the Castle, the throne room was large, and almost completely bare of furniture; above three steps was Hongjoong’s throne, made of black obsidian, and four tall, wide marble columns stood around the room. Sometimes, you had the sensation that the room almost seemed too humble to be the silent witness of such atrocious plans and confessions. However, within the throne room was the real treasure of the cursed kingdom, a treasure of immeasurable value; two precious stones of mysterious nature – probably otherworldly, were set against the wall above Hongjoong’s throne. Red as rubies, they shone with a mysterious and frightening light, a light which seemed to become increasingly brighter as Hongjoong’s power steadily grew.

«According to my researches, some people managed to summon the Gods, without being summoned by them and of course, without dying.» Yeosang spoke, and you listened to him, fearing for the worst; you were aware about the fact that beside your parents, Seonghwa and Jongho had met their godly parent as well, but, listening to Yeosang’s words, between summoning a God out of your own will and meeting one because they decided to give you a second chance at life, there was a huge and extremely dangerous difference. 

Hongjoong’s plan could be easily guessed: summon the Gods one by one, challenge them and defeat them, whatever it took. The possibility of losing not only your parents but the others as well was starting to make you feel like you were suffocating.

«However, there seem to be no traces of the summoning rituals,» Yeosang added, and you felt like breathing again, «so I’m trying to track those people down: some of them must be still alive.» 

«Isn’t it dangerous?» you quietly asked, before feeling both Seonghwa’s and San’s elbows nudging against yours, in a rushed silent warning to not speak any further. Hongjoong tilted his head towards you in a polite yet tense smile, and your gaze naturally locked on the floor. 

«Princess, my beloved daughter,» he addressed you with a tense voice, «I think you should be happy, for we are one step closer to get our seeked revenge.» he added, and you were completely aware about the fact that you were testing your luck, but you couldn’t follow the silent hint of keeping your mouth shut; after all, children of Fire were known for acting on their instinct, for better or for worse. 

«You want to summon a God just to defeat them, but what if you end up being defeated?» “what if I lose you as well?” you mentally added, but your torn emotions reached blind ears; a thin layer of black smoke seemed to generate from the crimson stones behind him, before materializing around Hongjoong’s right hand, and you realized that he interpreted your words as a tentative of opposing his authority.

However, before Hongjoong’s rational part could even realize the fact that darkness had completely clouded his soul and he was about to attack you with his magic, a thick layer of black and moving sand materialized in front of you, momentarily startling you.

«Hongjoong, calm down.» Jongho quietly spoke, his right hand barely lifted in the air to keep his spell alive, and Hongjoong’s unforgiving eyes locked with his friend’s neutral gaze. 

«Go.» Seonghwa told you barely above a whisper, and you took the chance to excuse yourself and head out of the throne room.  

Accompanied by the darkness of the night, Seonghwa and Wooyoung bursted completely unannounced into your room; the faint lights of the candles in your room immediately underlined the tense frown on their delicate features as Wooyoung carried an empty leather bag along with him, immediately heading towards your closet.

«Come on, Princess, it’s time to pack.» Seonghwa urged, as his friend was carefully placing few change of clothes in the bag he had placed on a nearby chair, doing his best in trying to act calm and composed although everything in his body screamed that he was in a hurry. 

«What? What happened?»  you asked them, dumbfounded, as you immediately walked behind the fancy separé few steps from your bed, in order to dress as fast as you could.

Neither Seonghwa nor Wooyoung answered your question, and you grew increasingly worried: were you in danger? Did a war break out without notice? Were there some intruders in the castle? You fastened a dagger against your thigh, before walking towards Wooyoung, which was done packing. 

«Hongjoong won’t get any better, little one,» Wooyoung explained, running a hand through his black hair out of frustration, «and neither will we.» you couldn’t do anything but look at him with your eyes as wide as the moon, and he gently squeezed your shoulder with an apologetic smile. 

«You do realize that he attacked you because of those stones, right?» Wooyoung questioned, and you nodded without hesitation; of course you had noticed that they were the source of his corruption, after all, he hasn’t been the same since he had found the first one when -

«San is waiting for you, he’ll lead you through the forest.» Seonghwa added, interrupting your thoughts; they both hugged you as tightly as they could, gently kissing your hairline before letting you go. Your emotions were a confused whirlwind of feelings, and you couldn’t pinpoint which one was prevailing; what were you going to do? Why were they sending you away? Would you see them again?

Seonghwa walked back into your bedroom few moments after you were gone, just to find Wooyoung sitting on your bed, his hands on his lap and his gaze locked on them as if they were the most interesting sight in the world.

«I think she has all the rights to know the truth.» Seonghwa mumbled, and Wooyoung simply hummed. «She will,» Wooyoung eventually answered, although his voice was uncertain, «we will find a way to tell her, I promise.» Seonghwa sighed, his footstep leading him to sit next to his long-time friend, «Do you think Changbin will help her?» «Technically, he owes us his life,» Wooyoung immediately answered, hinting to what happened many years earlier at the Serendia Shrine, «but we’re his enemies, now, so…» he drifted off, his words dying on the tip of his tongue, before turning his head towards Seonghwa and completely changing the topic, «How’s it going for you?»

Seonghwa answered with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes, while lifting his left hand in mid air and generating a small sphere of water, gesture which made Wooyoung immediately sigh in deject; Seonghwa’s eyes – once turning a bright shade of blue anytime he used magic, were now a threatening shade of black, and the water generating in his hand was as dark as the deepest point of the sea. Seonghwa was about to lose himself to darkness, Wooyoung realized, and without you constantly being around them, it would have probably happened for both him and San as well, sooner than they had originally planned.

San has been guiding you through the forest, paying meticulous attention not to leave any kind of trace behind the two of you; he knew that him, Wooyoung and Seonghwa couldn’t hide the fact that you had escaped for long, but he was determined to buy you as more time as he could. Sometimes, he had to admit that the fact he had been working as an assassin for years definitely came in hand: thanks to his lead, the both of you moved as silent shadows, favored by the natural hiding place provided by the trees.

«This is as far as I can go,» San gently spoke as he spotted your horse behind an oak tree – of course, sent there as a farewell present from Jongho, «Go to Heidel, look for Changbin.» 

«Why are you sending me away, did I do something wrong?» you asked, tears suddenly forming in your eyes and panic tightly gripping your heart as you realized that you were about to leave for real; San’s eyes softened, and he immediately reached out to wrap his arms around you in a comforting hug. 

«Of course you didn’t, you could never.» he honestly answered, and you felt your throat burn with the desire to stop yourself from trying not to cry. 

«What do I do now?» you questioned, with a shaky voice, «I’ve always been with you.» you added, gripping on his cape.

«Keeping yourself out of trouble could be an excellent start, Princess.» even though you could hear a smile in San’s voice, you understood he was reluctant to let you go by the firm hold he still had on you. Truth be told, deep in your heart, you already knew the reason why they were doing this, but you didn’t want to acknowledge the fact that you were about to lose to darkness the people you loved the most. 

Eventually, you reluctantly detached yourself from San���s comforting embrace, and he helped you fix your small luggage on your horse, before helping you up on the saddle as well.

«Will I see you again?» sniffling quietly, you questioned him almost timidly, looking at him as you were tightly holding the reigns with shaky hands.

San gave you a small smile, before placing his right hand on his heart, and faintly reach out towards you, in a gesture Hongjoong and the others were used to do whether someone among them were to leave for a journey. 

“My heart will be with you, wherever you go.” it meant. 

«You will,» San gave you a reassuring smile and you nodded briefly, urging your horse to move forward; he narrowed his eyes, and refused to move until he couldn’t see your shape completely engrossed by the darkness of the night, «will you?» he whispered his question in the void of the night, before making his way back towards the Castle.

The sensation of sunlight on your skin was something you haven’t been feeling in years, and the fact that you couldn’t share this experience with the people you loved was extremely dejecting.

Traveling on your own not only was exhausting, but it was definitely not a pleasant experience; first of all, you had no one to talk to – beside your horse but sadly she couldn’t answer to your rambling, and most importantly, you had to constantly force yourself not to fall asleep anytime you stopped for the night. It definitely wasn’t rare for you to tie the reigns of your horse to a tree and then climb on one of its largest branches just to take a quick nap, and anytime you woke up you were a little more stressed than you were before falling asleep. Accordingly to the map that Wooyoung sneaked in your bag when he was packing your luggage – along to a huge quantity of gold, Heidel was still very far away from were you were; the city was at least two weeks of constant travel from the Cursed Kingdom, and you were determined to reach Changbin’s house as soon as you could, but you couldn’t mistreat your horse.

One week had passed, and you wondered if Hongjoong found out that you had ran away, and how he consequentially reacted; chewing on a small ratio of bread, you scoffed at the naivety of your own thoughts. “He probably forgot about me,” you thought instinctively, your fingertips blindly reaching for your earring while gently moving and twisting the silver feather attached to the small loop; “I wonder if there’s a way to destroy those stones.” you sighed, your thoughts running wild as you were enjoying your lunch while sitting next to a small river.

The fact that you were tired led you to naturally commit a huge mistake; being lost in your thoughts with your shoulders facing the woods meant that you definitely didn’t realize someone sneaking up on you, until a short blade was pressed against your throat.

«I wonder what someone from the cursed kingdom is doing around here.» a boy spat with a harsh tone; judging by his voice, he seemed to be around your age, and a thick accent was accentuating any word he spoke.

Carefully balancing what was remaining of your small loaf of bread between your teeth, you immediately reached out to wrap your hand around the stranger’s bare forearm: your eyes became bright red as you used your powers, burning his skin so that he was forced to either move away or give up his hold on the dagger. However, the stranger proven out to be a little more reckless than you originally planned, because he did let you go, but with a quick movement of his other hand, he had vigorously pushed against your shoulder, consequentially making your back unceremoniously hit the soft grass.

«Were you raised by barbarians?!» you instinctively spat, annoyed with the fact that in the process, the loaf of bread you were eating was now on the floor, «I was eating, you idiot.»

Slightly surprised with the fact that you seemed to be more angry with him interrupting your lunch rather than him threatening to kill you, the stranger momentarily loosened his grip on you, and you took advantage of that faint second in order to quickly counterattack. Long years spent being trained by Hongjoong and the others meant that you were a skilled fighter, even thought no one of them had ever let you go to war. With a quick movement, you managed to roll the two over, so that now you were sitting on his abdomen and tightly holding his wrist, preventing him from using his dagger again.

Something in the stranger’s appearance, however, made you momentarily froze in your place. There was nothing particularly outstanding in his clothes, beside the fact that he seemed to wear a cloak made of fur – which was neatly attached to the fabric on his left shoulder; the boy was undoubtedly handsome, his hair was short and black, and his features were as nice as if they had been sculpted in marble.

However, as if a spell had been casted on you, you couldn’t drift your gaze from his: not only he had huge scar on his left eye – reaching from mid forehead to the middle of his cheek, but his eyes were mismatched. Instinctively, you swallowed nervously: not only his eyes were the obvious proof that the boy had died and been sent back by his godly parent, but, judging by the bright blue color of his left eye, he was a child of Water.

«I can’t believe my fucking luck.» you muttered to yourself, before tightening your grip on the stranger’s wrists before abruptly letting them go; as quickly as you could, you dashed towards your horse, hastily climbing on the saddle.  

As for the stranger, you had used once again an old trick that Hongjoong had taught you when you were still young: a thick rope made of fire burned bright around his wrists, and as soon as you saw him effortlessly neutralize your spell summoning water, you realized you had to flee.  Fighting with a son of Water meant that you were in obvious disadvantage, especially if fighting near a source of water, but it didn’t mean you could outsmart him, after all, you took alchemy lessons from Yeosang, whose talent was well known and envied in the most important cities; before leaving, you casted a spell on the helm of his dagger, before throwing it towards him, making it purposely land between the two of you. 

As you noticed that his blue eye seemed to shine brighter, you realized that he was silently summoning a spell, and therefore you took advantage of the now enchanted dagger; you threw a small sphere made of fire towards it, and as the ground began to burn, you realized that the steel had completely melted. From there, you could control the direction of the fire as you pleased, and a line of flames was burning in front of the stranger, separating the two of you and allowing you to escape.

-

It was a windy evening when you arrived in Heidel, and although someone glanced at you in a suspicious manner, no one actually had tried to stop you to know your whereabouts; you were walking through the city while gently tugging on the reigns, as your horse followed obediently behind you.   Changbin’s and Lea’s house was in the west side of the city, and since you’ve spent a lot of time with them when you were younger, you recognized it immediately; the more steps you took towards it, the more anxious you felt.  What if they didn’t want to see you?  “There’s only a way to find out.” you took a big breath, before knocking once, twice, three times on the wooden front door.

«I don’t know, I wasn’t expecting anymore people!» you heard Changbin’s muffled voice getting closer, before the door opened just to reveal a very confused Changbin; as if he was struck by lightning, a smile erupted on his lips as recognition danced on his features and mumbled your name, and you nodded with a shy smile.  Changbin invited you in, but before closing the front door behind the two of you, he carefully glanced around the streets, just to be sure that no one had followed you.

«Lix, could you get her horse to my stable?» Changbin gently asked to a boy which had walked out of the kitchen as the two of you were approaching, but you didn’t pay much attention to him, since you were too focused on trying to recognize the voice coming from the room Changbin was leading you to.

«I swear, Lea,» the male voice spoke with a thick accent, «she fled, just like that!» you instinctively furrowed your eyebrows, because the voice definitely sounded familiar, and you hoped for your instinct to be proven wrong.  As you stepped into Changbin’s cozy kitchen, Lea immediately let go of the fabric rag she was using to clean the wooden counter of the kitchen, just to come and greet you with a warm hug, but your eyes widened as soon as your gaze met the boy comfortably sitting on a wooden chair, with his arm placed on the table. «Hello, fireball,» the boy spoke with a smug smile, the light of the fireplace dancing in his bright blue eye, «what a coincidence, I was talking about you, just now.»

«I can’t believe my fucking luck.» you muttered to yourself, letting go of the leather handles of your bag, letting it falling on the floor, as you returned Lea’s warm embrace.

CHAPTER II

«I have never done such things!» you hastily denied, covering your mouth with the back of your hand, ignoring every single rule of etiquette which imposed you not to speak with your mouth full of food; your gaze briefly met Chris’ – the child of Water you had recently met, and it didn’t take a particular wild guess to acknowledge the fact he was listening to everything Lea was saying just to have many more things to tease you with. Lea, however, was looking at you with a beaming and fond smile, recognizing the fact that you did remember, and proceeded with talking about every interesting anecdotes about your childhood she could remember.

«One time, Changbin let her hit him with one of the fake swords they used, and actually pretended to be hurt and well, she started crying! Ah, she was so cute back then.» «Am I not anymore?» you immediately questioned arching your bow, and Lea immediately shook her head. «Of course you are, you look exactly like your mother – speaking of which, have you already been to Velia?»   Although Lea’s question was harmless, for some reason, it was enough for the appetite you had felt to completely vanish; you shook your head, simply answering that you were going to, within the following days.

«Velia? The port city?» Chris curiously questioned, and you wordlessly nodded; acknowledging your silence, Changbin briefly explained that Velia is where you used to live as a child, before eventually, your mother died and Hongjoong and the others left, taking you with them.

«Well, I didn’t know this part of the story.» Chris mumbled to himself, and the boy sitting next to him – Felix, sighed heavily. «There would be an infinite things you’d know if you weren’t so quick on jumping to conclusion.» Felix spoke, and Chris simply shrugged, agreeing with him.

From what you learnt in the two weeks you had spent at Changbin’s and Lea’s house, both Chris and Felix came from Ilya Island, which was few days away from Velia. Apparently, they had come both to visit Changbin – an old time friend, and both to assure the Capital that the Island would have helped in case the Cursed Kingdom decided to declare war. Moreover, if you weren’t surprised about Felix being the Prince of Ilya Island – not only everything in his behaviour seemed to scream “royalty” but also the golden and thin tiara he  always wore actually resembled some sort of crown, you were definitely surprised to learn that Chris was not only the head of their Kingdom’s whole army, but also Felix’s most trusted counsellor. How did a boy so annoying and reckless manage to get such an important title, was a mystery to you.

«Oi, fireball, I was meaning to ask-» «Don’t call me that,» you immediately cut Chris’ sentence, definitely not liking how his full and plump lips framed a perfect smile. «Okay, sweetheart,» he corrected himself, pronouncing the new nickname almost in a rivalry tone, «how did you control two elements at once?»

It took you few seconds to remember what he was actually talking about, but in the moment you did, your face seemed to brighten up with pride; you placed the small chalice you were drinking from back on the table, before lifting your right hand in mid-air, slightly moving it around.

«I actually can’t, I am a child of Fire,» you clarified, «Yeosang came up with this. There are few alchemy symbols embroided inside it, which allow us to use alchemy however and whenever we want, without the processing part.» you explained, as the others’ gaze was fixed on the fingerless glove hugging your hand as if it was a second skin. Although the fabric looked like leather, the consistency was far from it; unlike leather, the fabric was more elastic, flexible and waterproof, and – most importantly, it did not hinder any movement of your hand. «What symbols?» Felix asked with fake nonchalance, and you instinctively scoffed. “As if I would tell you,” you thought. «As if I knew,» you answered instead, «Yeosang came up with them.» «He created them?» Chris questioned; everyone was aware about Yeosang’s brilliance when it came to alchemy, but said stories always came from people which had been defeated by one of his inventions, reason why hearing what he was capable of from one of his friends and not one of his foes was actually even more fascinating. «He also managed to hid them, so that if we ever get defeated, no one would find out.» you added, lying about not knowing which symbols he had used.

Ever since Yeosang had successfully refined the new weapon, he had insisted for you and the others to carefully learn which symbols he had meticulously created. «So you won’t come running to me if you need a new one.» Yeosang had simply explained back then, although he was pretty clear that the fingerless gloves he had created were a very precious gift meant only for the nine of you.

«That doesn’t surprise me.» Changbin chimed in, before he eventually start rambling random praises about how Yeosang, Yunho and Mingi managed to help him building his house basically almost using alchemy alone, and it was a shame that they ended up becoming a public enemy. However, that was where you stopped listening.

Although you had spent two weeks showered with actual affection and not feeling like an outcast that had run away from the Cursed Kingdom, you started to miss home; what started as an almost imperceptible sensation, like a gentle movement of a butterfly’s wings, suddenly evolved into a pang in your heart. Were you allowed to spend your days like this? After all, you had witnessed first-hand the people you loved losing themselves to darkness; how long that vain and fragile lie would last, you wondered, realizing that you have been hiding yourself behind a small lie shaped into a thin curtain separating you from what you knew you were supposed to do? When the moon was shining high and lonely in the sky, you had the sensation of your thoughts gradually being cleared; you wanted – you needed, to find a way to help Hongjoong and the others, but how?

For sure, you couldn’t ask Changbin’s help and risking to put him in such an unquantifiable danger; it was as if it was you, and the whole world standing mysteriously against you – who was, moreover, running out of time.

The following morning, you barely finished breakfast before announcing you were going to visit your mother’s tombstone.

«Don’t talk to strangers,» Lea spoke, closing your cape a little tighter around your frame «your clothes still stand out so much…» she faintly mumbled, and you smiled sadly at her; even though you knew that keeping the clothes you and Wooyoung bought in the Cursed Kingdom were still too characteristic and unique, you didn’t want to give up on your identity, yet.   «I will be home before dinner.» you answered, before climbing on your horse and urging her to move on the path to Velia, which luckily, wasn’t too far from Heidel; as you shielded your eyes from the rising sun, you smiled to yourself, remembering Chris’ utterly offended expression seeing you waving goodbye to everyone except him.

Unbeknownst to you, Felix and Chris were the only one who remained on the porch, watching as your retreating figure seemed to vanish into the sun; Lea and Changbin had quickly went back to their busy daily routine.

«Please, don’t,» Felix sighed, almost as if he could hear the train of thoughts of his long-time friend, «we’re supposed to go to the Capital and sign some boring alliance documents today.» Chris nodded wordlessly, but Felix realized he was definitely not listening to a word he had said. «Let’s keep an eye on her first.» Chris spoke few seconds later, before storming back inside the house and lively calling for Lea, asking if she had some tasks for them at Velia. «Take a deep breath, Lix,» the Prince said to himself, «and try not to whoop his ass with some nettle branches.»

Everything seemed so incredibly wrong and disconnected at the Harpies’ Ridge, Karanda noticed. Although the harpies had been restlessly working in order to rebuild everything Hongjoong had destroyed years earlier, it was as if her Kingdom was just not the same. Harpies were now almost reluctant and afraid to be reborn into a human form, since they didn’t want to risk being corrupted and absorbed into the Cursed Kingdom, joining Hongjoong’s army just like any other pawn. This had been the main reason why, during the last ten years, only two children of Air were born into the human world, harpies that had willingly reincarnated themselves in the vain hope to be helpful to Karanda in some sort of way. Even so, Karanda still decided to delete their memories from their past life, wanting them to enjoy the brevity and fleeting emotions of their human existence.

Karanda suddenly shrieked, and the sky seemed to tremble adjusting to her restless soul; few seconds later, answering to her call, a harpy graciously landed in front of her throne, immediately kneeling in a sign of utter respect towards her Queen.

«We have been fighting together for a long time, my friend,» she spoke, as a gracious smile erupted on her otherworldly features, «however, I’m afraid I have to ask you for a favour that only you can do.» furrowing her delicate brows, the harpy dared to look at her Queen, asking her to explain herself.

«As you know, everything that happens within the Cursed Kingdom’s territories is beyond my sight; however, I can see Hongjoong’s daughter now, meaning that she isn’t roaming the cursed lands, anymore. My foresight is not absolute, but I can see that she will soon start walking towards her fate, and I need you to keep an eye on her.» «You want me to… spy on her?» the harpy questioned with a doubtful shriek, and Karanda briefly nodded. «I want you to earn her trust, find any sort of useful information you can find, and protect her – as much as you can.» Karanda added; as the harpy was about to question her what was supposed to be difficult in this task, the Goddess spoke again, letting the question dying in her throat, «I want you to descend into the human world as a boy.»  

Karanda saw the harpy’s shoulders fell, before she eventually sat on the ground in deject; «Why can’t I do it while being a girl? Don’t we hate men? Am I supposed to hate myself all the time, Karanda?» the harpy rambled with the intimacy that only a friend could muster.

Karanda patiently listened to her, smiling at some of her weird questions, and the harpy momentarily smiled; although she had been serving Karanda since centuries – purposely choosing to never reincarnate into her human form, she had never seen the Queen look so tense over something related to the human world, that’s why even a small smile made her feel slightly better.

«Do I have to pee like a boy as well?» she whispered yet another question, her eyes as wide as the moon as her clawed fingers hovered above her lips, and Karanda nodded. «You will only keep your memories.» the Queen spoke, avoiding her question. «I will only keep my memories…» the harpy echoed, before falling silent for few minutes; «Fine, but I’ll better be handsome.»

Karanda thanked her, before she effortlessly tore a feather from her forearm, blowing a small whiff of air into the palm of her hand; the feather seemed to dance in the wind as it surpassed the Queen’s clawed fingers, and as soon as it touched the harpy’s forehead, a white and almost blinding light enveloped her completely. It lasted as a quick blink of an eye, and standing in front of Karanda, now was a young boy with perfect features. He was tall, he had long and slim legs and his arms looked strong; his hair was as black as coal and it reached his shoulders, and his eyes were both as black as a starless night.

«Hyunjin,» Karanda spoke, «this will be your name for your human life.» «Am I handsome?» Hyunjin spoke immediately, instinctively touching his face, pleased to feel that his nose seemed to be just the perfect size. «You are.» Karanda answered, amused. «Better than Garmoth?» Hyunjin suddenly teased, enjoying how the Queen suddenly seemed to be taken back by the sudden question, «Ah, I guess not.» Hyunjin added with a pout, not giving Karanda enough time to answer him, for he said goodbye and started walking away. After all, he was a man on a mission, now; he had to find Hongjoong’s daughter and do who knows what, right?  

«Hyunjin, one more thing,» Karanda spoke, and the boy stopped, tilting his head to the side, signalling he was listening, «don’t meddle yourself with human affairs too much, for you are not one of them.» with a court nod, Hyunjin started walking again, waving goodbye without turning back.

In complete truth, you suspected you would have never made it home before dinner, since the Sun signalled it was way past mid-day and you still had to made it to Velia; as much as you hated to break a promise, you had to admit that you wouldn’t have been late if only you weren’t being followed. What was only a brief suspicion probably dictated by paranoia had met a sad confirmation few hours after you decided to carefully hide your horse – taking your weapons with you and leave the small bag attached to her side empty, before climbing on a nearby oak tree. Safely hidden by its branches, you safened the two daggers you used to fight to the harnesses on your thighs, and waited.

Now, you knew you probably looked dumb for spending hours crouched on a branch, but San had always taught you to follow your survival instinct, and you had always believed that there was a reason if that was the first thing he – a former assassin, had decided to teach you. However, the more time passed, the more you deduced you really were a fool, and no one was following you; you were about to climb down from your hiding place, when a voice made you freeze in your place.

«Have you ever thought about it? The King’s daughter is basically all alone, now.» immediately, you glanced below the branch you were standing on, faintly noticing two people stopping right underneath it. «Poor thing, I guess she must be scared now.» the other man retorted, and a relieved smile erupted on your lips, since you could recognize those uniforms anywhere and everywhere; but what were soldiers from the Cursed Kingdom doing in the outskirt of a small port town?

Completely aware about the fact that no one was allowed to roam outside of the Kingdom’s territories without Hongjoong’s order, you decided not to trust the initial instinct, which had suggested you to ask them for any kind of help. For all you knew, they could be the ones following you. Not really wanting them to see you since they had stopped under the tree in order to shield themselves from the Sun, you climbed a little higher, carefully analysing the situation: there were only two of them, and from what you could see, they didn’t seem to be heavily armed. If you were lucky enough, you could use surprise effect to kill one of them, and then directly fight the other.

Tightly gripping the helm of your dagger in your left hand, you adjusted your position on the branch, ready to jump and land on one of the soldier’s shoulders, when you felt yourself being snatched back; as a hand on your mouth prevented you from screaming, your shoulders landed against someone’s firm chest, and soft fur gently tickled your left cheek.

«It’s okay, it’s me and Lix.» Chris’ voice mumbled against your ear, and you nodded, silently implying that you weren’t going to scream, and that he could let go; however, he only moved the hand from your mouth in order to place it on your waist.

As you were about to move it away, Chris quickly manoeuvred the two of you so that he was crouching down with his back against the oak tree, and you were safely nestled in his hold. “Safely”, you thought, “what in the world am I even thinking?” As you quickly fastened your dagger against your thigh once again, you noticed a large amount of branches suddenly silently grow out of nowhere, further hiding your presence whether the soldiers decided to look up; instinctively, you glanced at Felix, which simply gave you a small and gentle smile. Felix stood on the branch right next to yours, his arms crossed in front of his chest and his left shoulder leaning against the tree; for the whole time the branches were growing, his eyes had turned a bright shade of green, meaning that he was a child of Earth. For some reason, it didn’t surprise you.

«We found her horse! She must not be far from here!» someone said, and suddenly, your attention was once again completely focused on the soldiers beneath you; judging by the voices, there were at least five more of them. Chris and Felix shared a brief and worried glance behind your shoulders, but your attention didn’t waver from what was happening right below you. «There’s an excellent bounty on her head, now that Hongjoong has banished the Princess.» you heard one of them add, and instinctively you started to tremble.

Not only Hongjoong had made it clear that he had forgotten about you, he also made it clear that he didn’t want you back – at least not alive; you were considered just as any other traitor. Instinctively, you covered your mouth with the back of your hand, praying to yourself not to start to cry now, since it would have been highly unfortunate; feeling your distress, Chris’ arms held your waist a little gentler, placing his chin on your left shoulder.

«We’ll make it home.» he whispered, and you had to take a deep breath in order not to let out a broken sob.

“Home”, Chris said; too bad, you didn’t have one, not anymore.

-

«Need a ride?» Chris questioned you, comfortably sitting on the saddle of his horse, Felix silently riding next to him. Even though the soldiers had left few minutes later unknowingly announcing you that you were banished, the three of you had waited few more hours before eventually, climbing down the oak tree and walking to where Felix had carefully hid his and Chris’ horses with a simple spell. Dinner time was long gone, for the moon was now shining in the sky, and you wondered how Changbin and Lea must have been worrying for the three of you. «No, I’m fine.» you answered, walking as fast as you could just to keep up with the horse’s slow pace.

Although you heard Chris scoffing as a silent answer, you didn’t expect him to act up; it only took few seconds to him to lean down, quickly placing his hands under your armpits and hoist you up on the saddle of his horse, making you sitting sideways in front of him. «Really, Chris?» you questioned, immediately trying to climb back down but noticing that his arms didn’t waver the slightest. «We’ll be home sooner like this.» Felix chimed in, and you silently wondered why you didn’t find his accent annoying – which was your main though anytime Chris was opening his mouth. «Why couldn’t I ride with you?» you questioned him, and Felix shrugged, simply answering that Chris and his horse were closer to you than he was.

Of course, Changbin and Lea were worried; they were waiting right outside the front door, hoping that nothing had happened; they immediately guided the three of you to the kitchen, giving you at least something to eat, despite it was already late at night. Changbin studied your features with alarmed eyes as soon as you referred them that you were banished from your Kingdom, and the more you spoke, the more you realized that staying there meant putting everyone else in danger.

«We received this, this afternoon,» Changbin spoke once you had finished speaking; he placed a paper envelope on the table, and you immediately glanced at the familiar sealing wax stamp, «it was both cute and creepy, you know? A crow bursted into my office through the window, leaving the envelope on my desk, and flying away without sparing me a glance.» he added, and you immediately reached out, effortlessly breaking the wax and opening the letter.

“The Gobbling’s Tavern, Wednesday, at midnight. Ask for an umbrella. W.”

Although you would have been able to recognize that handwriting among a thousand, it was the request you should have made that remove all the trace of doubts; Wooyoung had the habit of combining his and San’s name together, saying that the result meant “umbrella”. Therefore, you were certain about the fact that he sent you the letter but, why did he suddenly want to see you?

«It’s tomorrow.» you spoke, deadpanned. «I hope you’re not thinking of going, young lady.» Lea spoke sternly, crossing her arms in front of her chest; even though you explained her that the letter was sent from Wooyoung, her opinion didn’t waver, but neither did yours.

Apparently, Changbin had managed to persuade his wife with the promise that he would have gone with you and of course, Chris and Felix weren’t going to stay home and wait. «Are you sure this is the best thing to do?» Lea questioned Changbin the following afternoon, and he gently kissed her forehead, before climbing on his horse. «We’re four children of Nature, Lea. I’m sure we’ll manage.» he had said, before heading towards Velia followed by you, Chris and Felix; since Changbin didn’t have another horse, you were riding behind Felix, carefully gripping on his slim waist and trying not to fall.

Just as planned, you arrived to Velia just in time; however, as soon as you saw the low cobbled city’s walls, you tensed up. «Relax,» Felix gently spoke, noticing how the grip around his waist had slightly tightened, «if things get bad, we’ll sacrifice Chris and run away.» you sighed a breathless laugh, appreciating how the boy was trying to console you although no one knew what exactly was waiting for you. «What? C’mon mate, why me?» Chris questioned, looking utterly offended. «I wonder what’s gonna happen if you die twice,» Felix murmured, ignoring his friend’s question, «you’d probably get some common sense from Vell.» he added, referring to the God of Water.   «I’m gonna kick you down your horse, Lix.» Chris’ threatened; however, his voice was filled with fondness towards the other boy. It was something you had easily noticed during the time you spent together: Chris and Felix teased each other on a daily basis, but if you were to question the nature of their bond, they’d simply answer that they were like siblings. «If you kick her down as well, you will be meeting Vell sooner than expected.» Changbin added, and for few seconds, the anxiety you were feeling seemed to alleviate just a little.

Next to the port and with an excellent view of the open sea, the Gobbler’s Tavern definitely had a bad reputation; frequented by all kinds of sailors, mercenaries and prostitutes, you spent your short journey wondering why Wooyoung had chosen that place. The first thing you noticed was the predominantly dark environment, some lanterns hanging on the wall dimly lit people’s faces, making them partially unrecognizable thanks to that play of lights. The second thing you noticed was a boy; as he sat on the counter, his features were clearly recognizable, a stark difference from the rest of those in the room. He held a small lyre balanced on one thigh, and as he played it, his voice sang a sweet melody in an unknown language.

Chris’ elbow roughly nudged against yours, and that was your clue to know that probably, you were staring a bit too much; your gaze briefly met his, and he nodded towards a waiter, who was cleaning one of the tables near the counter. “What if it’s a trap?” you suddenly thought as your heart was hammering in your chest in an uneven pace; however, you slowly approached him, knowing that the others were right behind you, even if you didn’t turn around to verify it. «I… I need an umbrella.» you quietly spoke as soon as the man straightened up and asked whether he could help you. Although you felt ridiculous to actually voice that bizarre request, the waiter’s expression immediately changed; he studied your features, as if he was trying to compare you to some description, before his eyes quickly darted behind your shoulders. «Are those men with you?» was his only question; in the moment you nodded, he made a small motion with his head, silently signalling you to follow him. He quickly led you through the back doors, towards one of the room that could eventually be rented for the night; the man stopped in front of a wooden door, knocking once, waiting few seconds and then knocking three times a little quicker. In the moment you heard the door being unlocked, the waiter nodded a silent goodbye at your group, and silently made his way towards the front of the Tavern.

If you had to be honest, what you expected to see inside the room were both Wooyoung and San waiting for you, and probably give you few advices on what to do next. What you did not expect to see was Wooyoung leaning against the wall with a restless expression, his gaze lost in the fireplace burning in front of him. «Wooyoung?» you asked, somehow afraid to interrupt his thoughts; however, as soon as Wooyoung’s eyes met yours, a gentle smile bloomed on his features, and you quickly step forward towards him – ignoring Changbin’s advice to pay attention, in order to throw yourself into Wooyoung’s arms. Wooyoung held you close, as if to verify that you were still alive, that nothing had happened to you, and you hugged him just as tight. «I’m really happy you came.» Wooyoung told you, thanking Changbin for taking care of you and greeting both Chris and Felix.

It took at least half an hour for Changbin, Felix and Chris to partially let their guard down enough to take a seat in the small and cosy room, and it was all thanks to how Wooyoung was behaving towards you.

Although everyone had heard the most various tales about the Seven Generals from the Underworld, in that moment, Wooyoung did not fit any of those descriptions. Instead of a ruthless and cruel man which never hesitated to take a life under his King’s command, stood a boy which was gently smiling at you, analysing your features and questioning how could you have scratched your cheek like that, before questioning Changbin “how can she already be hurt when she has been away for barely three weeks”; the child of Water, eventually, realized that the Wooyoung standing in front of him was just the same he had met years ago and therefore, he decided to trust him. As for Chris and Felix, they were both incredibly wary and both incredibly curious about Wooyoung’s presence; although people from Ilya Island had fought many wars, no one of them had ever engaged a single battle with the Cursed Kingdom and therefore, once again, the opportunity to know the enemy is not something they were willing to pass up.

Over the years, you learned to recognize the most various changes in your uncles behaviour, and you realized that Wooyoung was definitely not doing fine; there were dark circles around his eyes, and – despite his beauty remained untouched, he definitely seemed to have lost weight. It didn’t take a particular wild guess for you to understand that something must have happened to San, and you decided to stop ignoring the elephant in the room; as much as you were enjoying your unexpected rendez-vous, you knew that there was a reason for that meeting.

«How is San?» you quietly asked, and Wooyoung’s smile disappeared in less than a second; he tightly closed his eyes, before taking a deep breath. «He… forgot,» Wooyoung spoke, and your shoulders slouched in deject, «there’s only me left, now.» he added, and you reached out, tightly holding his hand in your trembling ones. The fact that San and Wooyoung had been in love every single day was well engraved in your memories, and you couldn’t bring yourself to even imagine how Wooyoung could feel, to look at your own husband and knowing that he didn’t remember who you are. Of course, you had felt somehow the same thing since Hongjoong started to forget about you, but as similar as the situation seemed, it couldn’t be any more different. «Why did you want to meet her?» Changbin questioned, «Don’t you know that Hongjoong had banished her? There’s a bounty on her head, Wooyoung.» «Hongjoong can no longer recognize a friend from a foe,» Wooyoung immediately retorted, meeting Changbin’s sharp glare with an equal strong gaze, «not even his own kin.» he added, and as he glanced at you, his tone momentarily softened.

Unbeknownst to your small group, another secret yet important meeting was taking place within the tavern’s bedrooms.

A woman with otherworldly features slowly made her way through the corridors, and even though there were no windows and the doors were tightly closed, her clothes seemed to move thanks to a gentle breeze; her hair was as white as snow, neatly braided into a complicated hairstyle, while her skin was as white as porcelain. Her steps carried her towards a room not much distant than the one you and Wooyoung were in, and her left securely hovered above the handle before stepping inside.

«We’re the rulers of the sky,» she said, closing the wooden door behind her shoulders with another flick of her hand, her voice greeting a man which was patiently waiting for her, «and yet, you ask me to meet you in a tavern?»

The man chuckled, slightly turning around, «You can’t say you didn’t miss it, Karanda.»

«For sure, I did not, Garmoth.» she immediately retorted; her dislike towards human was well known to the dragon, which on the other hand, seemed  to be  fascinated by them since humans started to roam around the world.

Garmoth simply chuckled at her words, and Karanda sighed briefly, noticing that once again, nothing had changed on his distant lover’s features; he was tall, and his honey coloured skin empathized the bright red colour of his eyes. His hair was slightly longer, she noticed, untameable dark red strands of hair now reached past his collarbones, and for a moment, she wondered if he liked to braid his hair as he used to, long time ago.

«We’re here because your son couldn’t keep calm.» she spoke, walking towards the balcony and standing next to him, keeping a reasonable distance. «We’re here because your daughter couldn’t stay alive; moreover, you could simply have told Hongjoong the truth.» Garmoth shrugged, and Karanda immediately scoffed, annoyed.

«It’s impossible to be reasonable with a son of Fire.» she immediately spat, hiding her feelings behind a wall of resentment.

«You never had any problems before.» Garmoth turned around, his back pressed against the railing; he tilted his head towards Karanda, but as expected, she dodged the topic, instead voicing her doubt about the God of Corruption being woken up.

«We sealed him away long time ago,» Garmoth shook his head, «but I do believe Hongjoong had found some crumbles of Kzarka’s aura.»

Even though the words Wooyoung were speaking were being pronounced nowhere near the balcony, the words you shared were carried by a gentle breeze towards the room Karanda and Garmoth were patiently staying in, so that they could hear everything as if they were right beside you.

Wooyoung had never stopped talking since he had admitted he wanted to meet you because he owed you an explanation; according to his words, him, San and Seonghwa were firmly convinced that there was something you needed to know, something which maybe, would have made you hate your father a little less.

«I don’t hate him – » you tried to say, but Wooyoung simply shook his head, ignoring you. Apparently, Hongjoong was aware that there was something wrong with your mother’s illness, and it all started since some people from your hometown had found a strange glowing stone, and decided to entrust it to your parents – having both of them met a God once.

«Hongjoong knew he was slowly changing, he often told us how that stone seemed to cloud his senses,» Wooyoung spoke, his gaze meeting both yours and your friends’, «he… was afraid to hurt people, and to hurt you. We all freely decided to follow him, although he kept saying that we needed to go back and take care of you – I know you probably won’t like me saying this, but Hongjoong to us has always been a brother, and a reliable leader. Our love for him had influenced every single one of our choices, including the one to be corrupted in your place.»

«What do you mean?» you mumbled with a trembling voice, even though you weren’t sure your voice could actually be audible to anyone in the room in the first place; you felt like you have been suddenly showered with frozen water in the middle of a snowstorm.

«I mean,» Wooyoung took a breath, caressing your fingers in a vain attempt to console you, «that it wasn’t supposed to end like this; we were supposed to leave Velia, and to find a solution together, but – Hongjoong found another stone in the Castle’s ruins, and… you know the rest.»

Of course, you knew; the moment Hongjoong found the second stone was the day his once bright red eye had turned as black as a starless night.

«What I’m trying to say, is that Hongjoong tried to protect you, in a very messy way, but me and the others promised to tell you, sooner or later.» Wooyoung chuckled without humour, before adding that originally, San was supposed to come with him that night.

«What can we do to help?» Chris spoke, interrupting what seemed a fraction of eternity made of tense silence, and you suddenly remembered that you weren’t alone with Wooyoung, but your friends had decided to come with you as well.

To be honest, you were incredibly curious about his sudden change of heart, since you knew that the only task Chris and Felix had, was to confirm to the Capital that in case of war, they would have fought against Hongjoong without hesitation; you thought that Chris’ question was actually something he didn’t mean, but Felix’s expression confirmed that he wasn’t going to deny his friend’s proposal.

«Yeosang found out that someone managed to summon Garmoth,» Wooyoung explained, «I want you to summon him before Hongjoong does, and do whatever he says.»

«That’s unreasonable!» you spoke a little louder than you meant to, with a trembling voice, «You know what Hongjoong’s goal is; what if he tells me to kill all of you?»

«Then you will do as he says.» Wooyoung gently answered, brushing a strand of hair behind your left ear, shortly caressing the feather earring you always wore.

«I can’t – I don’t – »

«Sunshine,» Wooyoung interrupted your sentence, and you realized that few tears had gathered on the corner of his eyes as well, «we haven’t been alive for a while.»

«She will try to find you,» Karanda commented, «will you help her?» even though her eyes already saw part of their encounter thanks to her innate gift of foresight, she still questioned him.

«Hongjoong’s plans affect the four of us; Vell and Offin had made it clear that they don’t want to meddle with the human world…» even though Garmoth’s resentment towards the other two divinities was probably as deep as the ocean itself, he couldn’t ignore what was happening.

Even though he lost the count of how many years had passed since the Battle of the Dawn of Times – where Kzarka had been sealed away, he couldn’t deny that the possibility of Hongjoong’s power being fuelled by the God of Corruption’s latent aura was something too dangerous to ignore. «I will help her.» Garmoth finally confirmed.

«So,» Karanda sighed, «we’re the only ones remaining.» «We are the only ones remaining.» he echoed her words.

Eventually, few hours after your meeting with Wooyoung had finished, Karanda let Garmoth undress her, and for a night they pretended they were back in the days - millenniums ago, where the most different kind of gods and goddesses crowded the world and they could freely enjoy the beaming joy and tumultuous passions of their love; for a night, they pretended they weren’t two of the last divinities carefully keeping the world into balance.

Whether that night the wind seemed to blow a little gentler, whether that morning the sun seemed to burn even brighter as it rose in the sky, that was for the two of them to know. When the morning came, they kissed each other goodbye; Karanda vanished in a whiff of wind, and Garmoth gently blowed on the remaining traces of a lonely candle, vanishing in the same moment the candle’s flame had died.

Contrary to your expectations, your mother’s tombstone was well cared for, and there were fresh flowers at its feet; although you wondered whether Lea and Changbin were the only ones taking care of it or someone from the village was silently helping them as well, you didn’t bring yourself to voice your question. As the sun was slowly rising in the sky and the village was awakening, you sat in the small cemetery with your gaze unfocused, trying to process everything that Wooyoung had told you few hours earlier as silent tears were streaming on your face.

«Please, mom, what do I have to do?» you murmured, your question engulfed by a sudden gentle breeze, «If you were in my place, you would have known.» you hugged your knees to your chest, pressing your forehead against them, and allowed yourself to cry.

Absorbed in your thoughts, you hadn’t noticed the sound of grinding gravel under someone’s approaching footsteps, before you felt something being gently draped around your shoulders.

«It gets cold in the morning.» Chris spoke, unsure about how to approach you; judging by the proximity of his voice, he was crouching next to you.

«Children of Fire don’t get cold.» you croaked, slightly lifting your head, «but thanks.» you faintly added, aware that him – along with Changbin and Felix had been patiently waiting for you at the cemetery’s gates.

«Let’s go back, shall we?» although Chris’ question was gentle, you understood the sense of urgency he was somehow trying to hide. You nodded at him, realizing that since there was a bounty on your head, you couldn’t spend your time having a breakdown out in the open for everyone to see; after all, you didn’t even notice Chris approaching you, and that made you an extremely easy target. Chris stood up, offering you his hand, and you took it, sealing a secret and still unknown deal that would have intertwined your destinies for good.

Unbeknownst to you, Hyunjin comfortably sat on a branch of one of the cedar trees near the cemetery; his position was relaxed, his right leg was bent on the wood while the left one was dangling from it, as he studied you and your companions, with an unreadable expression.

«Looks like we’re gonna meet sooner than I expected.» he murmured to himself, as you and Chris were quickly walking towards the others.

CHAPTER III

After securing on your shoulders the backpack Wooyoung and Seonghwa gifted you and taking deep breath, you opened the window and swoon your leg over the railing of the small balcony attached to your room. Escaping from the first floor definitely was not a difficult task, but sneaking out in the middle of the night was all about being as silent as the snow falling on the ground.

“Careful, now, I’m almost done…” you calmly encouraged yourself as you successfully landed on the soft grass; after all, by now, you were quite the expert of running away in the middle of the night.

Although you didn’t have a precise destination in mind, you still felt as if leaving Changbin and the others behind was the best solution you could have came up with. After the meeting with Wooyoung, you felt like you had completely changed; not only you barely walked out of your room – consequentially making Changbin, Lea and your new friends incredibly worry about you, but you started to drastically overthink things as well, which definitely was a habit you never had. Even if you were glad about the fact that no one tried to forcefully snap you out of your self isolation, let’s just say that if only you could have seen a glimpse of the future, you would have appreciated a little bit more Chris’ insistence on trying to make a conversation every time he brought you something to eat.

Sighing in deject because – for obvious reasons, you couldn’t borrow one of the horses from the stable, you let your feet and your instinct hastily walk you towards an indefinite destination as you tightly gripped on your backpack, knowing that as soon as morning came, your friends would have started looking for you.

The sun started to rise in the sky once you were walking through Heidel’s unfamiliar outskirts. It was not excessively difficult to orient yourself – after all, it was a simple beaten road lined with maple trees; but when you realized that the sun was about to be high in the sky and you didn’t have quick and secure places to hide yourself in case of need, you realized that probably, you should have planned your escape a little better.

«I can’t believe our luck.» an unfamiliar voice made you abruptly stop, making your head snap to your left; when you noticed a small group of men definitely coming from the Cursed Kingdom, you realized that definitely, you should have planned your escape a little better.

Even if you were clearly outnumbered you immediately excluded the option of running away, since there was no way you could outrun five horses; the only option you had was to fight against them, and so, you took a deep breath and tightly gripped on the daggers you had secured on your thighs.

“We’re from the same Kingdom,but I highly doubt Hongjoong and the others personally taught them how to fight”, you encouraged yourself once again, feeling a little more secure about your fighting skills.

«Come on Princess, the bounty is higher if we return with a corpse.» one of them spat, making the others laugh and instinctively making your skin crawl; taking advance of the surprise effect, you launched forward, successively stabbing the man closer to you in his abdomen.

However, when the men realized that you were definitely not willing to go back home without fighting for your life, they immediately started to counter attack, and for the first time since you left the Cursed Kingdom, you wished you weren’t fighting alone. The sun was high in the sky, and there wasn’t a single cloud on sight; you were tired, and there was definitely blood trickling down your arm from a bad looking cut on your right shoulder. Although you managed to put a safe distance between you and the men – now three of them, you were forced to admit that you were in worrying disadvantage; your daggers were both scattered on the floor too far from where you stood, and your opponents were way too skilled for you to face without a weapon.

Ignoring the pain you felt as you tried to lift your right arm, you lifted your shaking hand in mid air, ready to use magic, even if – since you were surrounded by trees, it wasn’t the wisest choice.

However, what you definitely did not expect to happen, was for someone to appear out of thin air, placing their left hand right above your right one, making your head snap towards the new arrived.

«The bard?!», you questioned – louder than you meant to, as you recognized the tall boy standing next to you as the boy who was playing the lyre in the tavern where you met Wooyoung few days ago.

Instinctively, you tried to yank your hand out his firm hold in the vain attempt to put some distance between the two of you, but he didn’t let you.

«Hyunjin,» he gently answered, offering his name as if you had all the time in the world and weren’t in the middle of a fight, «when you feel me close my hand, cast the most powerful spell you know.»

The fact that Hyunjin didn’t wait for an answer and immediately started to slowly close his hand in a fist, made you quickly snap out of your thoughts and realize that you needed to hurry; your eyes were glowing bright red, and you made sure to follow Hyunjin’s instruction to cast the strongest spell that Hongjoong taught you, but what you saw made your concentration drastically waver.

There was no way in the world that you couldn’t recognize the spell that has just been casted, since you have heard about it since you were a little girl, eagerly asking your uncles to tell you about that time your mother defeated basically the whole Cult of Serendia’s Disciples by herself.

Hyunjin’s long fingers easily intertwined with yours, and the bounty hunters simultaneously fell lifeless on the ground while gripping their throat.

«Internal carbonization, huh? It’s been a while.» you heard Hyunjin mutter – mostly to himself, and you turned towards him, a whirlwind of questions in your head that he probably never would have answered.

Hyunjin had just used one of the forbidden spells, so why he didn’t look fatigued? You knew that it took a lot of energy, so how could a simple human -

«Who are you?» you asked, removing your hand from Hyunjin’s hold and bringing it towards your chest; your heart picked up pace, and you honestly hoped you didn’t have to fight him as well, because you highly doubted you could have won.

Hyunjin simply shrugged, before offering you a wide and dazzling smile, «Let’s just say that I’m not a foe.» he stated, and your eyebrows furrowed in doubt.

However, every possibility to prolong your conversation with him vanished as soon as you heard your name being called.

«Finally, Prince Charming made it to the rescue,» he mumbled again, placing a hand on his hip while glancing towards his left, but before you could question his words, his fingertips gently hovered above the cut on your shoulder, and you felt the sting caused from your wound immediately vanish, «I didn’t completely heal it, but at least, it won’t get infected; make sure to take care of it.»

«Wait-» you called out as he walked past you.

«Until next time!» he waved his hand in mid air with a cheerful voice, before vanishing in a gust of wind, making you wonder if you had imagined your encounter in the first place.

Everything about Chris riding a horse was solemn; from his posture to his incredibly angry expression.

«What the hell happened to you?» Chris quickly dismounted from his horse, his cape made of fur obediently following his movements as he close the distance between the two of you with hasty steps.

He slowly took in your appearance, and immediately reached out to inspect the wound on your shoulder; obviously, you couldn’t notice the relief erupting on his features as soon as he noticed that you already seemed to have taken care of it, because as soon as he approached, you instinctively lowered your gaze.  Chris glanced around the two of you, noticing the corpses of your attackers, and silently cursed himself for being too late to help you.

«Everyone is worried sick, come on, let’s head back.» he added, but as soon as he wrapped his hand around your wrist, you forcefully yanked it from his hold.

«No.» you simply answered, heading to collect your daggers from the floor, cleaning the blades with part of the fabric of your opponent’s cape before sheathing them against your thighs.

«No?!» he echoed, incredulous, following you as if he was a determined not to let you run away again.

«No.» you repeated, spinning on your heels just to find Chris standing closer than you imagined, «I won’t go back – I can’t.»

Chris simply raised one of his eyebrows, placing his hands on his hips as if he was silently urging you to go on and explain yourself; only then, you allowed yourself to take in the appearance of the boy standing in front of you.

There were undeniable dark circles under his eyes, and you deduced that he must have come back recently from his trip to the Capital, only for the awareness that Chris and Felix came back from the Capital at least four days ago to sink in; there was a wild thought running through your brain, a small doubt saying that Chris was genuinely worried for you, but you blatantly decided to ignore it.

«If I stay, you’ll be in danger. Changbin, Lea – I can’t possibly do this to them.» you explained, and he wordlessly looked around the two of you, running a hand through his dark hair out of frustration.

«And you can do this to yourself?» he questioned, making your remark melt on your throat; you answered with a brief nod, and Chris sighed in exasperation.

«Listen-»

«There’s a bounty on my head, Chris, not on yours. I can’t spend my days taking advantage of Changbin’s hospitality and then expect to protect them as soon as bounty hunters show up. I want them to live a peaceful and quiet life, as far away from trouble as possible.» you had to admit that talking about what you have silently been thinking about for weeks was like getting rid of an enormous weight on your soul, but you definitely didn’t expect for Chris to reach out and gently envelope you into a hug; you closed your eyes, timidly placing your hands on his hips, and let him place his chin on top of your head.

«I believe you’re missing few essential points,» he gently spoke, «when you showed up at Changbin’s, did you ask for help or you simply appeared out of nowhere?» you tensed up, his words neatly contrasting the gentle movements of his hand threading through your hair, «but most importantly, when you decided to see Wooyoung, did you ask me and Lix to come, or did we simply tag along?»  

«What I’m trying to say,» it was as if Chris could feel your eyebrows furrow in doubt, because he explained himself further, «I honestly doubt that you faced every problem on your own back home, right? So… don’t be afraid to ask for help, because there are people who genuinely want to help you. Aren’t we friends?»

«We are not,» you clarified on the verge of tears, «I want to strangle you every time you open your stupid mouth.» you admitted, and Chris huffed a laugh in response, slightly tightening his arms around you.

«You sure do have suggestive fantasies, Princess.» he mumbled with a shrug, making you snort in reflex.

Eventually, Chris let go of your frame, wiping few tears from your cheek using his thumb; by now, you were used to his snarky and competitive comments and therefore, his gentle and sincere gaze took you off guard.

«Do you want to come home, so that we can figure something out?» Chris questioned, and you instinctively nodded; whether you did it because you could still hear his fast heartbeat from when he hugged you, or whether you did it because you felt strangely safe in that moment, you decided not to think too much about it.

It was hard to explain the utter relief erupting on Changbin’s and Lea’s faces as soon as you and Chris rode back home. Felix, on the other hand, simply sat on the porch with a satisfied smile and his eyes bright green; as soon as you noticed the leaves slowly floating above the palms of his joined hands disappear, you understood that he must have used magic in order to locate you.

Exactly two days after you tried to escape, you decided to tell the others why you choose to run away in the first place; you settled for being as honest as possible, only hiding about what happened in the woods and therefore, about Hyunjin’s mysterious appearance. Everyone patiently listened to you, while trying to come up with an efficient solution.

Even though she cared for you just as if you were her daughter, Lea – and half of the servants, didn’t know how to fight and therefore, since the probability of bounty hunters finding out your hiding location was high, the most clever solution was for you to constantly be on the run.

«If I remember correctly, Wooyoung said that someone in Duvencrune managed to summon Garmoth.» Changbin spoke, claiming everyone’s attention.

«Did he? But… Isn’t that almost impossible?» Lea voiced her doubt; although she didn’t have any magical power, it was safe to say that everyone knew that the most known way to meet a God was to die.

“I wonder why Seonghwa and Jongho managed to meet them”, you thought, aware that your doubts would remain unanswered forever.

«I don’t want to doubt his intentions, but we might be lured into a trap.» Felix added, smiling apologetically at you, making you nod your head in a silent answer; you didn’t want to doubt Wooyoung either, since after all he took a huge risk while coming to see you, but…

«The only way to find out, is to check it out ourselves.» Chris spoke, as if he could hear your train of thoughts and decided to finish it for you.

«You really enjoy risking your life, don’t you?» Felix sighed, but didn’t try to oppose his friend’s decision, which simply answered with a confident shrug, followed by a «scared, your Highness?»

«Please, no! I don’t want to disturb you further than this.» you spoke, but Lea promptly lifted her hand in mid air, silencing you.

«Nonsense, your mother was my best friend, and this is the least I can do.» Lea dismissively said, before pointing her index finger towards her husband, «You’ll go with them.»

«Me?» Changbin questioned, pointing to himself.

«Who else? Do I look like a child of Nature?»

That’s how, on a Sunday morning, you, Chris, Felix and Changbin started to pack your belongings, headed towards the rocky city of Duvencrune, expertly carved in the side of a mountain and silently watching over Garmoth’s nest since generation.

The road was clear ahead of your quartet, but even so, Felix seemed restless; you saw him mumble something to Chris, which briefly nodded at him before directing his horse behind yours and Changbin’s; you watched Chris with furrowed brows, waiting for an explanation, but he simply winked at you in a confident way, before locking his gaze on his long time friend.

Felix, on the other hand, was busy examinating some leaves peacefully floating on the palm of his hand; it was the same spell he used to locate you when you ran away, you deduced, but who was he trying to locate this time?

It couldn’t possibly be someone from the Cursed Kingdom, you thought; they generally moved either in couples or in small groups, so there was not a high possibility for them to be already tailing you – moreover you were sure that Felix would have noticed them.

All of a sudden, the leaves seemed to start floating more aggressively, almost moving in a fast spiral, only for Felix to tighten his fist with a quick move, making the spell disappear at once.

«I wonder how long you’re planning to follow us.» Felix spoke, and few seconds later, a familiar boy jumped from one of the maple branches above your head, just to effortlessly step on Felix’s horses, sitting right behind him, with his back against his.

«I tend to forget children of Earth can chit-chat with trees.» Hyunjin teased; even if Changbin and Chris instinctively started riding closer to you, the fact that no one tried to attack him was probably because Felix was silently stating that Hyunjin was not a threat.

“It’s quite strange,” you thought; Hyunjin was acting as if him and Felix were long time friends, and on the other hand, everything about Felix’s posture seems to be at ease with Hyunjin’s presence.

“Either Felix is really strong or they know each other,” you simply stated, deciding to let the others decide what to do; after all, Hyunjin saved your life.

If Felix didn’t seem to mind about the bard’s presence, Changbin and Chris definitely had a different opinion on the matter; they both rode close to you, and you noticed how both of them seemed to be ready to start fighting at any moment.

«Where are we going?» Hyunjin asked few moments later with a big content sigh, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

«We?» Chris echoed with a scoff, but eventually refrained from speaking sarcastic remarks as he saw Felix shaking his head towards him.

«I’m a bard,» Hyunjin stated, as if he was putting an effort into answering him, «I sing about new adventures, and not to mention your Princess owes me one.»

At once, three pair of eyes were on you; Hyunjin chuckled, obviously amused about the fact that apparently, you had decided to keep your encounter a secret.

«When the hunters attacked me, he helped me fight them, he’s a child of Air.» you simply explained, avoiding to mention the forbidden spell part.

«And he casually happened to walk by?» Changbin questioned, and you simply shrugged; although everything regarding Hyunjin’s presence was suspicious, it was undeniable that you wouldn’t be alive if he didn’t intervene and therefore, your group agreed to keep him around.

That night, when you stopped in order to get few hours of sleep, Felix quickly mumbled something to Chris, whose eyes were locked on Hyunjin’s figure, eagerly talking to you and Changbin next to a small fireplace.

«You still haven’t told me where our adventure will take us.» the bard questioned later, interrupting Chris’ attempt to start a conversation with you.

«Duvencrune,» Changbin answered, «we’re looking for someone.»

«Oh, interesting.» Hyunjin hummed, before resuming his previous action of playing his small lyre.

«It’s gonna take less time if we avoid passing through the villages,» Changbin explained, «if we head west from here, the vegetation won’t be too rich, and the weather will increasingly be dryer; it will take less, but we will be an easy target.»

Even so, with you having lived within the Cursed Kingdom’s territories for the majority of your life, Felix and Chris not knowing anything about where you were and Hyunjin simply nodding at Changbin’s proposal, the only thing you could do was to trust him.

«Sulien, that’s the woman you’re looking for.» Hyunjin spoke out of the blue, as his eyes seemed to glow in a menacing dark shade of greyish colour – definitely different from your mother’s.

«How do you know?» you immediately questioned him; however, Hyunjin never gave you a proper answer.

«Doesn’t the wind know everything, Princess?» were the only words he spoke for the whole day.

The trip to Duvencrune lasted eight days, definitely less than you originally had expected.

Hyunjin kept close to you half of the time, and the other half was spent riding Felix’s horse while sitting in random positions; although Hyunjin was doing his best, you didn’t miss to notice how he would sometimes look at your friends with disgusted faces, just to give you a dazzling smile as soon as he noticed that your eyes were on him.

Changbin meticulously checked his compass and the position of the Sun, leaving to Felix the task to check your surroundings while using magic. Chris was in charge of setting and undoing the small camps every time you decided to stop in order to take few hours of rest, without forgetting to beat the ground and scatter some leaves above your temporary camps, so that it wouldn’t have been too easy to follow you.

The hunt was a coordinated act among you, Felix and Chris; to be honest, the Prince and his long time friend could have done everything by themselves but still, you were desperate to learn something useful.

So, that’s how you went from placing your hand flat on the ground next to Felix’s, curiously glancing at this bright green eyes staring unfocused at the ground in front of him, trying to locate a possible prey; needless to say, being a daughter of Fire, you couldn’t feel anything.

Therefore, after recognizing Chris’ talent in archery anytime Felix lured a prey close to where he was, your main goal was to learn how to hunt; of course you knew the basics of archery, but even so, shooting to a still target was definitely different to shoot to a moving one.

«Your stance still says that you’re not expecting for the prey to flee, fireball, and that’s gonna make you starve.» Chris spoke, and your grip on the bow loosened, bringing it closer to your hips.

«I really don’t get the whole “follow the line” thing.» you admitted, referring to one of his previous suggestion, expecting another sarcastic remark. Instead, Chris thoughtfully nodded at you, glancing around the opening where you were resting; he snapped his fingers, and not that far from you, few small floating balls made of water started to move in different directions.

Chris walked right behind you, and if he decided to hold the bow with a tight grip right above your hand, he did the opposite thing for the arrow; this time, your fingers ghosted above his, and you felt as if after all, you never learned how to properly shoot.

It would have been nice for you to be able to concentrate, however, with Chris’ arms firmly caging you and his gentle voice explaining everything about how to properly hunt made it impossible for you to register more than few words he said. Once again, you decided not to think too much about it, saying that it was probably because beside Wooyoung and Seonghwa, you haven’t been held definitely in a while.

«The secret is to predict the opponent’s movement, and aim just a little ahead of them,» Chris spoke dangerously close to your ear, as he was focused on not to miss on his shot; you did your best to keep your breathing synchronized to his, and in the moment the two of you were exhaling, Chris’ fingers loosened around the arrow, and few seconds later, the small ball of water crashed on the ground under the form of a faint and localized rain pour.

«That’s it, you want to try again?» he questioned, and whether you immediately nodded because you really needed more practice or you instinctively felt the need to keep him close to you, you decided not to think too much about it.

«Uh, are they a thing?» Hyunjin questioned, his eyes following both you and Chris with interest and a hint of amusement.

«Not yet.» Felix retorted immediately without feeling the need to check what the two of you were doing, laying with his eyes closed as he quietly rested under the sunlight.

«I say they’d look cute together.» Changbin nodded, with a wide smile on his face.

-

As obvious as it sounded, your only task was to keep the fire alive anytime you stopped in order to rest: bright enough to keep them warm and properly cook your food but not bright enough to be spotted by eventual enemies.

However, thanks to Yeosang’s enchanted glove, the task was as easy as kid’s play. The ability to use alchemy whenever you wanted meant that you definitely didn’t need wood in order to create a fireplace; Felix easily provided you few strand of dried bushes, which would have burned around the handle of your enchanted sword, effectively creating a fireplace but not leaving traces of warm and burnt wood behind you.

Keeping the fire alive meant that you could sleep for most of the morning, but you had to stay awake for most of the night, willingly keeping watch and gladly accepting whether someone decided to stay awake with you. Of course, you definitely didn’t miss to notice the fact that Chris’ company was almost a constant throughout your sleepless nights.

Although the two of you sat at a reasonable distance at first, sharing stories about your past and your hometowns, said distance eventually ended up disappearing, and eventually, you and Chris sat next to each other, your knees brushing anytime one of you decided to adjust their position.

«I’m telling you, that night Felix was three sheet to the wind,» Chris whispered animatedly, glancing fondly at his friend who was asleep.

«He was three sheet what?» you echoed; you weren’t sure whether it was your mutual exhaustion or the fact that Chris had so many unusual figures of speech but you found yourself giggling, and the boy curiously glanced at you.

«It means being drunk,» he explained, scratching his nape, «you probably don’t use it here.» when you shook your head, he nodded once, and if only you weren’t so tired and it wasn’t the middle of the night, you would have noticed a faint blush colouring his cheeks.

«You stopped, why?» you gently nudged his elbow, «I want to know more.»

«About?» Chris asked, immediately trying to recall some other fun fact to tell you.

«You.» you immediately retorted without thinking, only to realize it as soon as Chris’ head snapped towards you, the fireplace’s colours dancing in his blue left eye, «I mean, more about your life.»

“That’s even worse, great job”, you thought, blaming the fact that you were tired for the fact that you were embarrassing yourself like that.

«Oh, sink me.» you heard Chris mumble, and immediately you were thrown in another fit of giggles, which definitely didn’t went unnoticed by the boy.

«You seriously need to stop making fun of me, fireball.» Chris said while hiding a smile.

He quickly snaked his arm around your neck, just to effortlessly pull you against his chest; the boy started scratching your head while using his knuckles – not actually hurting you, making you laugh even more while trying to reach out to escape from his grasp.

«Who’s gonna fucking tell them?» Hyunjin mouthed to Felix, which was laying on the ground facing the bard.

«Not me, for sure.» he mouthed back, quickly glancing at Changbin, wondering how could he sleep through all this shameless flirting attempts.

-

Riding a horse for the most part of the day right under the sun, with an increasingly arid climate and surrounded by uncultivated land was definitely tougher that you thought. Even though everyone kept asking you how you were feeling, whether you wanted to take a break, you didn’t want to furthermore slow your group.

«We’ll be at the feet of the mountain by noon,» Changbin explained, «from there, the road will constantly be uphill but – if I remember correctly, there are some trees along the way.»

«How do you know so much? We’re pretty far from Heidel, did you travel a lot?» you questioned, and Changbin nodded, keeping his gaze ahead of himself.

«I used to travel a lot when I was younger, but I married Lea and I eventually stopped. She doesn’t like it much.» he briefly explained, and you nodded at him with a smile.

Changbin’s adoration for his wife was the trait that reminded him about Hongjoong the most; when you were a child and still lived in Velia, it was an extremely known fact that Hongjoong was absolutely whipped for your mother.

With a silent sigh, you realized that Changbin stopped travelling because he didn’t want to force Lea to do something she didn’t like, and you found yourself wondering if you would ever meet a partner like that.

“Why am I even going there?” you immediately interrupted your fantasies with a short intake of breath, mostly because you were scared about where your brain would have wandered next.

Evening was about to set on the fourth day of your trip, and everything was going unexpectedly smoothly, maybe, a little bit too much. Although you refused to voice your thought because you believed being blinded by paranoia, you felt like being watched; the fact that you kept sneaking glances around yourselves definitely didn’t go unnoticed by Hyunjin, who, even thought was aware about the fact that you were about to be attacked, couldn’t do anything to prevent it.

«Don’t meddle yourself with human affairs too much, for you are not one of them.» Karanda had told him, and he was determined to follow the orders he had received; even so, he found himself hoping that Felix could manage to locate and identify your attackers just in time.

However, Felix noticed them a little too late; an arrow emitted from the luxuriant leaves of one of the nearby trees, painfully sinking in your right thigh. Needless to say, your horse went wild as soon as he heard the hiss of the arrow right next to his ear, and immediately stood on his hind legs, effortlessly throwing you off the saddle; Hyunjin, however, quickly prevented you from unceremoniously fall to the gravel ground and hit your head by making you float for few seconds, gradually accompanying you to a sitting position.

With a pained groan, your hand flew on your thigh, and you felt the colour drain from your face as you took notice of the feathers adorning the end of the arrow.

“It’s from the Cursed Kingdom,” you noticed, “it’s poisoned for sure”. If both Chris and Changbin were immediately at your side, Felix was effortlessly casting a spell – now helped by Hyunjin, in order to capture your attackers.

Changbin quickly climbed down from his horse – quickly nodding at Chris and telling him to help the others, and you watched with trembling hands as your friend easily snapped the arrow in two.

«I think it’s – Changbin, it may be poisoned.» you warned him, and Changbin glanced to his left, just in time to see your attackers being dragged on the ground while being tightly wrapped up in ropes.

Gradually, you started to feel your head spin and your world started to fade to black, and the only words you could register after Chris’ anxiously calling for your name, was one of your attackers – the oldest among the two, confidently say: «Ever heard of poison? Guess what? Give it an hour.»

«If she doesn’t wake up within a minute, consider yourselves food for the wolves.» you heard Chris spat with a rough and unfriendly tone, definitely not what you were used to; with a weak groan, you opened your eyes, immediately noticing that the wound on your leg didn’t hurt as much as it did earlier.

«Take it easy,» Changbin’s arms were quick to sustain your attempt to sit up, and you willingly let him place himself behind you, so that you could easily stay in a sitting position. «how are you feeling?»

«Sleepy and tired, what happened to the poison?» you mumbled back; if you learned something from Changbin’s teaching, was that the position of the sun signalled that it was afternoon, meaning that at least twelve hours had passed since the ambush.

«Well, Prince Charming tortured the bounty hunters until he found the antidote.» Hyunjin chimed in, nodding towards two boys who were still tied up; they were about your age, you noticed, both with raven black hair and a stoic face.

«Did you hurt them that badly?» you croaked, questioning Chris and Felix, which respectively shook their head and shrugged.

«They’re harmless; Seungmin and Jeongin, bounty hunters from the Cursed Kingdom.» Chris explained, and only then, you noticed that his hand didn’t waver for a second from gently holding your wrist, his index finger right above your pulse point.

It took you few hours to effectively regain your strength, and although your friends admonished your attempt to excuse yourself from being poisoned like a fool while constantly saying that it wasn’t your fault, you still felt guilty.

The group unanimously agreed to keep both Seungmin and Jeongin with you, so that you could keep an eye on them.

«After all, they willingly gave us the antidote.» Felix said.

«Did you see how scary Chris was? Of course they willingly gave it up.» Changbin immediately retorted, and even thought Seungmin and Jeongin were tied up most of the times, you and the others still gave them water and something to eat every time you stopped to camp.

However, after two days both Seungmin and Jeongin completely gave up their decision to capture you in order to bring you back to Hongjoong; whether it happened because Chris had pinned Seungmin to the ground with his dagger pressed against his throat, threatening to tear both of them apart if they ever tried to hurt you again, that’s something that – in Chris’ opinion, you didn’t need to know.

-

Duvencrune’s citizens were extremely welcoming towards foreigners, always asking everyone who stopped by about their hometowns.

Situated at the feet of the mountain, Garmoth’s nest resembled the threatening claws of a dragon; four huge and curved spikes made of rock erupted from the ground – so high they seemed to graze at the sky, and eventually, people from Duvencrune decided to build four altars at the base of every claw.

Although no one had ever seen the dragon roaming in the huge nest, citizens still held rituals in order to pray for the God’s benevolence.

«I wonder if we’ll manage to see the altar! Apparently, outsiders can’t personally get too close to it.» Felix excitedly spoke as your group was roaming the city trying to gather informations.

«I wonder why you’re trying to get informations about that cursed thing.» Seungmin said, just for his sentence to end with a pained groan.

It was obvious that you couldn’t walk around the city with Seungmin and Jeongin being tied up without catching attention, and therefore, Hyunjin provided to create an elemental and invisible rope made out of thin air; no one would have been able to see anything, but Seungmin and Jeongin would have felt an incredible pressure on their chest anytime they misbehaved.

«Cursed?» the child of Air nonchalantly echoed.

«Our King said that - » Jeongin started, however, his words were cut short.

«If that’s something Hongjoong said, then I’m not interested in those foul lies.» Hyunjin finished, and the bounty hunters didn’t utter a word for the rest of the day.

«Are you sure you’re okay?» Chris gently questioned you, noticing the fact that you were limping; you weakly nodded at him, but didn’t refuse his offer to link your arm with his.

Although you wanted to rest, although your leg begged you to take it easy, you didn’t want to waste any more time, and eventually ended up spending your day roaming through the city.

Few days later, not only your leg was almost completely healed thanks to some local weird looking herb, but you could effectively walk for hours without limping.

«What’s the plan for today?» Chris asked with a yawn as you were having breakfast in one of the inns of the city.

«At this point, we should directly ask around about Sulien,» you answered, referring to the fact that you didn’t manage to learn anything useful during the time you already spent in the city.

«I could go to the town’s market,» Felix eagerly said, and judging by the excitement in his eyes, you knew that gathering informations wasn’t his main goal; nevertheless, you nodded at him with a smile.

«Seungmin and Jeongin will come with us,» Hyunjin added, gesturing to himself and Felix, and you nodded, as your eyes stopped on the two bounty hunters occasionally joke to themselves every now and then while listening to you; although you didn’t know what exactly happened when you passed out, you still decided not to inquire on the reason why they were silently following your group without trying to escape once.

Changbin – who had been focused on sheepishly eating his breakfast, suddenly groaned in pain, as if he had been kicked right under the table by a smiling Felix, «Yeah, uh, I – I think I’ll check the town’s market as well.» he simply said, leaving you and Chris to investigate on your own.

Although the city of Duvencrune was on top of a mountain and therefore constantly under the sun, the constant and gentle breeze made the days not too hot; you had to admit, it would have been considered romantic, even, the fact that you and Chris found a way to chat and laugh together while keeping close to each other, and the fact that you were sometimes exchanged for a couple definitely didn’t help your attempts to stop your imagination from roaming free.

For your sake, you decided to ignore the fact that Chris had stopped denying the fact, even though the small spark of hope about Chris liking you as well seemed to be already ignited in your soul.

«Okay, matey, the next person around our age we see it’s gonna be our target.» Chris sighed, probably as tired as you were about hearing that apparently, no one knew about Sulien’s whereabouts; you nodded at him, glad about the fact that apparently, luck was on your side, since as soon as you turned into an alley, a boy around your age walked right out of it, almost bumping into the two of you in the process.

Even thought both you and Chris apologized, the boy didn’t say anything, and simply nodded once in recognition without uttering a single word.

«Excuse me,» you added, taking advantage of the fact that he was still standing there, «we’re looking for Sulien, do you -» however, before you could finish your sentence, the boy’s eyes widened, and he quickly walked away from both you and Chris.

«Well, at least that wasn’t a “I don’t know her”.» Chris commented, and you could only nod in exasperation, mumbling a weak «oh, sink me,» which immediately made Chris laugh.

The two of you decided to spend the next few hours strolling around the city, your mission to ask about Sulien to people long forgotten, and hoping that your friends managed to have more luck than you did.

As the two of you were walking in front a residential area, however, Chris stopped you by a firm but gentle hold on your elbow, silently signalling you to look towards your left as soon as you locked your eyes with his.

In the middle of the alleyway, you noticed the boy you ran into few hours earlier now talking with another boy who must have been the same age as him, before eventually; they noticed you as well.

«Do we run away?» you quickly whispered to Chris, as you noticed that they were now walking towards you, easily closing the distance that separated you.

«Of course not, fireball.» he confidently whispered back, just in time for the two boys to stop in front of you.

«My brother told me an interesting story,» one of them started, «why would you look for Sulien?» he inquired, standing almost protectively in front of the boy you met few hours earlier; however, before you could answer, the latter mumbled something at the other’s ear, and his expression immediately softened.

«You’re right, Jisung.» he gently spoke, before addressing you in his usual harsh way. «Come with us.»

Chris followed them without the hint of hesitation, and instinctively, you reached out to hold his hand; whether you did it to silently tell him to be more careful, whether you did it because you needed a little bit of comfort in front of that strange and unpredictable situation, definitely wasn’t important, since Chris wordlessly and immediately intertwined his fingers with yours, while keeping his proud gaze up ahead.

Jisung and his brother – which eventually introduced as Minho, led you through a series of empty alleyways, just to stop to arrive at what appeared to be an abandoned shed; there weren’t proper doors or windows, just few parts of a rotten wall which seemed to magically sustain a rooftop.

Chris was standing right next to you, your silent anxiety mirrored by his tense posture.

«No one will overhear our conversation, now.» Minho spoke as he blankly stared at you, as if he was waiting for you to answer to his previous question.

«Someone told us Sulien managed to meet Garmoth.» you explained with a weak voice, cautiously glancing around as if you expected to fall in another ambush.

«And that “someone” is Kim Hongjoong?» he spat back, making your knees feel weak.

The fact that Minho knew about Hongjoong could only mean one thing: you were late.

«That’s not something you need to know.» Chris quickly spoke in your defence, but Minho sneered, taking a confident step in front of his brother.

«I believe you are forgetting that we are the one with the informations you need.» he smirked triumphally, pointing to himself and Jisung with his index finger.

Tightening your hold around Chris’ hand, you realized that at that point, there wasn’t much you could do; the fact that Minho and Jisung seemed to know about Hongjoong’s plan meant that the only thing you could do was to be as honest as you could.

«I am Hongjoong’s daughter,» you admitted, ignoring Chris’ grip tightening on your hand, «however, the informations don’t come directly from him; you can verify yourself that there’s a – that Hongjoong is looking for me, but we don’t… exactly work together.» you quickly glanced to your right, satisfied with Chris’ quick nod of approval at your explanation.

Once again, you saw Jisung leaning towards Minho, mumbling something to his hear; Minho seemed to be lost in thoughts for few seconds, before he eventually nodded.

«We can help you,» Minho spoke, crossing his arms in front of his chest «but at one condition: take us with you.»

CHAPTER IV

«Don’t get me wrong, but - did we really need to pick up more strays?» as you and your friends sat in Minho and Jisung’s small kitchen, Seungmin questioned the decision to bring both of them along with you.

«Aren’t you one as well, Seungmin?» you immediately retorted, effortlessly making the assassin stop talking.

Minho and Jisung both welcomed you and the others in their house, calmly explaining to you that Sulien – the woman you were desperately looking for during the past days, had passed away many years before your arrival.

«I hope this is the part where you tell us that you still have her notes or whatever she used to summon Garmoth.» Chris’ tone hid a hint of exasperation as his mismatched eyes were locked on Minho, who simply answered with a brief nod.

«We will help you, but we need a proof that you’ll take us with you.» Minho repeated himself, and you furrowed your brows.

«Why would you want to leave that badly? This place seems pretty safe.» Hyunjin absently questioned, not really paying attention to the answer, since he didn’t get one in the first place.

«It’s… personal.» Minho said, and you understood that both him and Jisung weren’t going to trust neither you nor the others that easily – not that you could blame them.

«Here, take this.» with a quick movement, you unclasped one of your daggers from the leather harness around your left thigh; the sheath was embroided with the same golden pattern of the hilt.

«Wait,» Changbin jolted on his chair, but you easily stopped him while briefly shaking your head.

«It was my mother’s,» you explained, pushing the dagger towards Minho and Jisung by making it slide on the table, «that’s the only thing I can use to prove our good intentions.»

Once again, Jisung reached out to mumble something against Minho’s ear, who listened patiently; the latter briefly nodded at him, before reaching out to grab your dagger.

«Wait, I got distracted, who cooked dinner?» Changbin questioned, quickly preventing you from eating a mouthful of delicious looking stew by gently holding your wrist. «It was me!» Jeongin innocently replied, and Changbin’s eyebrows furrowed; as if the young assassin understood what the child of Water was implying, he quickly rummaged through the pockets of his jacket, proudly placing a small sealed bottle on the table.

«It’s not poisoned! See? The bottle is sealed!» Jeongin spoke with a big smile, and Seungmin hid his face in his hands with a groan; although the two assassins had made it clear that they suddenly didn’t want to kill you anymore, Changbin was still extremely wary of them, often hanging around with the assassins just to keep an eye on them.

«Should I test it for poison?» Seungmin innocently questioned, and Changbin snorted in disbelief.

«No, it’s too risky - you might not die. I’ll do it.» still faintly holding your wrist with one hand, Changbin hesitantly tasted the stew, just to confirm that – indeed, it was not poisoned.

Both Minho and Jisung were looking at each of you – each of your reactions to what just happened, with curious and incredulous faces; however, since by now, it was completely normal to you, you didn’t pay too much attention to it.

«If you’ll come with us, you’ll find out that nothing goes according to plan with this group.» Hyunjin addressed them with his usual tone laced with amusement.

«Because you’re there, right Hyunjin?» Felix immediately questioned, and the bard silently answered with a playful wink.

With a heavy sigh, you did your best to focus on the happiness you felt about eating a traditional recipe from the Cursed Kingdom, not thinking about how stressful the trip ahead of you was going to be.

The plan was rather simple: you would have taken advantage of the monthly local festival in order to sneak into Garmoth’s nest.

«People will be focused on lightning up lanterns, and if everything goes according to plan, no one will pay attention to us.» Minho explained; of course, in order to reach the altars in the first place, you definitely couldn’t use the main route.

The downhill towards Garmoth’s nest was a wide path which started from the city; it was full of twists and turns, not to mention that the natural location of the town made said path very easy to watch over – making people driven by their own curiosity easily refrain in fear of a possible sanction.

«There’s a passage,» Minho explained, as he unfolded on the wooden table a rough sketch of what seemed to be a map of Duvencrune, «it’s wide enough for us to walk without obstacles and impediments, and most importantly, no one uses it anymore.»

«Aren’t there any guards?» Jeongin curiously questioned him, and both Minho and Jisung shook their heads.

«Duvencrune’s citizens are deeply devoted, and consider everything regarding Garmoth as holy; no one would sneak in.» as Minho spoke, your eyes were focused on him, trying to guess why would both him and Jisung help a group of perfect strangers.

«What if we get caught?» Felix asked, and Minho simply gave him a mischievous smile.

-

«Despite the fact that for centuries the city had been devoted to the God of Fire, this city was designed by thieves - there’s always an escape route.»

The following days were divided into strolling around the city and spending your time safely nestled in Minho’s house, carefully plotting on what you had to do.

«Travellers are taught that there are a total of four altars at Garmoth’s nest, which is in fact, a lie,» Minho explained one windy evening, immediately claiming your attention as he placed on the coffee table a small box filled with strange looking bright red flowers; «there’s another altar – the one actually used for rituals, which you can’t see from up here.»

«And the flowers?» Felix questioned, and Hyunjin nonchalantly stood up from his chair and reached out to grab one of the flowers, just to walk towards the opposite way of the room, right in front of the open window.

«They are called fire silk flowers,» Minho explained once again, «these flowers and these notes are everything Sulien has left us.»

Out the corner of your eye, you could see Hyunjin scoff while hiding a smug smile, but you did not pay too much attention to it.

«Sulien… Fire silk flowers, huh?» the bard quietly mumbled to himself, as he peeled off a bright red petal from the flower in his hands, «I say you haven’t lost your touch with your beloved illusions, Dragon.» Hyunjin pretended to run a hand through his hair, but instead, he tossed the petal out of the window, entrusting the wind to make it fly all the way to Karanda.

As a moonless night was draped over the sky, your group had once again returned at the inn. Lying on the soft mattress of your room, you admitted to yourself that the company that had come to be created was as bizarre as much as it was pleasant.

Changbin was by now basically part of your family, and you often seeked for his words of advice; you found comforting how he had the habit to keep an eye on you, even if just to silently ask you if you were okay. It was clear that his deep and great esteem for Hongjoong was the main reason for his resentment; however, whenever the matter was mentioned, Changbin always did his best to speak only of the positive events that came to his memory.

Felix and Chris were definitely fun to be around; although sometimes you couldn’t understand what they were exactly talking about due the uniqueness of Iliya’s dialect, they provided to lighten up the mood quite often.

Felix’s personality was as gentle and soothing as moonlight, and you could easily figure out that he must have been a respected and beloved Prince; although he has only been nice and friendly to you, sometimes, you could notice him looking at the horizon with an extremely lone gaze, and – you reluctantly had to admit, it made you feel lonely as well.

Chris was not only the stark opposite of his friend, but his behaviour kept confusing you to no end; his teasing remarks alternated with gentle and soft gazes and sometimes, you suspected for his rivalry tone to be just a facade.

Not to mention, you realized that you didn’t feel attracted to Chris just because he was extremely handsome, but for his whole personality as well; it wasn’t difficult to realize that sometimes, the others purposely let the two of you spend some time alone, and you didn’t fail to notice how you started to look forward to those moments.

The realization that eventually, both Chris and Felix would have returned to Iliya Island while you didn’t even know if you would manage to survive striked in, making you realize that feelings that you started developing for the boy who was taking a hold of your heart as slowly and as steadily as a high tide at noon were probably fleeting and meaningless.

Hyunjin was, essentially, an enigma. He made it clear more than once that he loathed men with every inch of his soul, statement which always made you giggle because: «aren’t you one as well?»

Sometimes, you had the feeling that Hyunjin was not completely human; he would sing about lost tales and lost battles that seemed to have happened centuries ago, and still, from the way he talked about those events, it seemed like he had been a direct witness. Moreover, there was the part where Hyunjin used one of the forbidden spell without being affected by it.

Seungmin and Jeongin were probably the biggest surprise: they went from trying to forcefully drag you back to the Cursed Kingdom to run errands under Changbin’s order. More than once, they stated that they wanted to help you due to a change of heart.

«We are not children of Nature, but our parents are.» Seungmin explained, «as you know, only children of Nature are corrupted by Hongjoong’s power, we just blindly follow the ideals of our loved ones.»

Minho and Jisung were group’s new entry, and you wondered if you would have managed to get along. Minho was a child of Fire, just like you, and he seemed really determined.

Jisung wasn’t a child of Nature; you wondered if the fact that he only seemed to talk with Minho was selective mutism or he was just really shy, but you found yourself hoping that one day, he would trust you and the others enough to let you hear his voice.

“Why am I looking so forward to the future?” you questioned yourself with a silent scoff as you tossed and turned in bed yet another time. To say that the future was uncertain was a euphemism, and even thought you tried not to let anyone else notice, you were terrified of it.

As you were busy tossing and turning in bed, Hyunjin was quietly strolling through the inn’s dim lit hallways, busy caressing with his fingertips the texture of the fire silk petal that the wind carried back to him not too long ago.  

“Let their fate do its course,” the message Karanda sent him was simple; however, the lack of further explanations didn’t seem to please him.

«What did you see, Karanda, and why don’t you want to tell me?» Hyunjin breathed softly, his words - barely above a whisper, unable to reach his long time friend.

Too lost in thought, Hyunjin didn’t notice that the door on his left was suddenly opening before he found himself being roughly yanked inside a room and his back harshly pressed against the sturdy wall.

Felix was looking at him, and angry scowl painted on his graceful features, and Hyunjin furrowed his eyes in doubt, since he had never seen such emotions portrayed on his face; quickly glancing around the room, he noticed that Felix was indeed alone.

«You know, if you wanted a midnight tryst with me you could have asked.» Hyunjin hissed, a hint of irritation hidden in his usual tone, as he quickly brushed away the firm grip the Prince still had on his shoulders.

Felix scoffed, «You sound a little too confident, for someone who has been found out.» he spoke, happy about the fact that for a second, Hyunjin’s composed and stoic face didn’t seem to be able to hide his surprise. «The trees I can chit-chat with just told me an interesting story, wanna hear it?» Felix went on, his usual patient and gentle behaviour suddenly nowhere to be seen as his eyes were a bright shade of green – as he was probably still trying to communicate with nature.

«What do you know?» it was clear to Hyunjin that at this point, he couldn’t deny to be sent by Karanda herself, he just hoped for Felix not to be the kind of person that kisses and tell.

«Everything.» Felix immediately answered while crossing his arms in front of his chest, making the bard hiss a frustrated sigh. «But actually… I think I have something to talk you about.»

The Prince sat on his bed, tilting his head towards his left and silently inviting Hyunjin to sit next to him; needless to say, the bard complied, curiosity having the best of him. Apparently, Felix had received a curious order from Offin herself.

«Did she talk to you?» Hyunjin’s eyebrows lifted in surprise; for all he knew, the Goddess of Earth had refused to meet her children since Jongho’s mind had been corrupted, could she have changed her mind all of a sudden?

However, Felix shook his head, «The trees carried her words; apparently, I should “help the disguised harpy”.» he added, his tone suddenly sounding gentler, as his eyes returned to their original warm colour.

«That would be me.» Hyunjin softly mumbled.

«I know, I’ve heard so many things in so little time, I thought I was about to go insane,» Felix whined, placing his elbows on his knees in order to hide his face in his hands; «the thing is, the Goddess of Earth gave the both of us an order.»

Although you were certain that sooner or later, everyone managed to fall asleep, you still felt awake as ever; you stretched your limbs with a soft sigh, before eventually sitting up with a groan, all the chances to get a good night sleep forgotten as you walked towards the wall hanger just to wear – over your nightdress, the linen robe that the innkeeper had provided you with.

As you quietly walked through the small corridor attached to the rooms, the faint light coming from the cosy living room situated downstairs was the only signal that someone else was awake; hesitantly leaning in, you noticed that Chris was sitting in front of the fireplace, silently carving something in a small piece of wood while seeming lost in thoughts.

Secretly smiling to yourself, you walked down the stairs, wondering why the boy seemed not to have noticed you, yet. Approaching from his left side, you stopped right behind one of the wooden chairs.

«Can’t sleep?» you gently questioned, making your presence known and therefore, making Chris jolt his head towards you; could he have been so lost in thoughts that he actually didn’t notice you?

Chris briefly shook his head, «How about you?» he questioned back immediately, «the moon isn’t out tonight, but I guess it’s still pretty late.»

«Changbin snores, he… woke me up.» you lied, making Chris scoff with an amused smile; although it was easy to figure out that you were lying, the boy still respected your silence.

«He doesn’t snore loud enough to be heard next door, but keep your secrets, fireball.» he joked.

The only sound beside your soft breaths was Chris’s carving knife skilfully moving over the small birch fragment, and curiously enough, it seemed to work as a strange lullaby for you; although Chris didn’t try to make conversation, he openly moved his chair so that he could face you directly.

«Where did you learn?» you curiously asked him, trying to avoid the sudden temptation to go back to sleep.

«It’s just an old habit,» he said, «Felix is actually better than me, you know, he’s naturally predisposed to it.» he admitted with a brief chuckle; you decided to move from where you were, just to sit on the chair right next to his, so that you could take a closer look to what he was doing Once again, he adjusted his position in order to satisfy your curiosity.

«I was thinking about the future, that’s why I couldn’t sleep.» you quietly admitted after few more minutes of comfortable silence, ignoring the fact that sharing your thoughts with the boy seemed to be incredibly easy, and Chris gave you an encouraging nod, which made you keep talking, «and I’m terrified, because I don’t know what will happen – what if the whole ritual turns out to be a failure?»

«There’s a possibility,» Chris stopped his motions altogether, placing the carving knife on the coffee table; «but we’ll be there as well, we’ll figure something out.» he gently spoke. With soft sigh, you nodded at him, biting the inside of your cheek as you felt your eyes swell up with tears; at the same moment, Chris’ eyes widened, a faint trace of panic flashing into his eyes.

«Oh, sink me – don’t cry, fireball, that really places me in a bad position.» he nervously rubbed his neck as he tried to joke, and you instinctively laughed breathlessly.

«Why would that put you in a bad position?» you inquired, missing how the hint of a blush was starting to colour his cheeks.

«I really don’t know how to console you when you cry.» he admitted while shyly scratching his nape, and you forcefully held back a smile, remembering the day when he offered you his cloak as you cried your eyes out on your mother’s grave.

«When it happens, you can simply do this.» taking advantage of a little outburst of courage, you adjusted your position on the chair; you gradually leaned towards Chris, until your forehead touched his shoulder. The fact that you immediately felt him tense up made you smile to yourself, now more aware than ever that his teasing behaviour was definitely only a facade.

Although the position you were in was uncomfortable, you felt relieved as soon as Chris started to relax; you felt gentle and hesitant scratches against your nape, and you started to relax as well.

At some point of the night, both you and Chris decided to sit on the carpet, your knees touching, as you asked him to tell you more of the adventures he and Felix had.

«I’ve been really curious about something,» you used your index finger to quickly tap twice under your left eye, «does it hurt?» you shyly questioned him, and Chris simply shook his head.

«Not really, you can touch it if you want to.» he offered, and you shyly nodded at him; your hand hesitantly inched closer to his face, with the intention to brush your fingertips against his scar as gently as you could.

As your hand gradually got closer to his face, Chris patiently sat without moving, as if he was waiting for you to realize something; only when your fingertips were almost touching his soft eyelashes and still, Chris didn’t blink nor react, you realized.

«It doesn’t see anything, not anymore.» Chris spoke, his tone unreadable; you leaned towards him, unable to focus on anything else beside the boy in front of you.

In that moment, some little things you haven’t really been paying attention to seemed to be so obvious. Felix would generally stand at Chris’ left side; if at the beginning you thought it was just a habit, you realized that it was because Chris was entrusting his sight to Felix, which seemed to naturally act accordingly.

«Of course, I can do the little trick that children of Water do,» Chris tilted his head, giving you a smug smile, «but after few minutes, it gets quite uncomfortable, you know - your eyes keep seeing different things.» he admitted, and you adverted your gaze, realizing that it was probably the reason why Chris lost so easily to you the first time you met.

«When did it happen? Why didn’t Vell heal you?» you questioned, incredulous; by your family’s tales, you were convinced that the Gods were kind and understanding. The fact that Chris has mismatched eyes was the clear proof that he had died already, so why didn’t he get his sight back?

«Uh, two months before meeting you, I think?» Chris vaguely explained with his eyebrows furrowed, as if he couldn’t exactly pinpoint the day he lost part of his sight, «Vell doesn’t really like humans, especially since… Well, the whole Hongjoong issue,» he explained further, «he simply told me one of his sons has strayed to the wrong path, and I had to – get rid of him.»

Despite the whirlwind of thoughts running through your brain, a faint «Oh.» was everything you found yourself able to say.

«I’m sorry-»

«It’s okay,» you said, trying your best to come up with a convincing smile, «that means, what I have to do it’s pretty intuitive, isn’t it?»

«There has to be another way, sweetheart, I’m sure we’ll find it.» Chris didn’t directly answer your question, settling for tightly hold your hand.

Around the middle of the morning, Hyunjin knocked twice at your door.

«Come on, Princess, it’s time to go.» he called out; however, as he still didn’t hear any sign of an answer from you, he simply rolled his eyes in annoyance.

He simply brushed his fingertips in front of the keyhole, only for a loud and sharp “click” to be heard; the bard walked into your room, sighing with his hands on his hips at the sight of you being still asleep.

«It’s almost lunchtime, did you sneak out to attend a ball overnight?» he teased, giggling at the groan you answered with. «Wake up, sleepy head,» Hyunjin whispered while sitting on the edge of the mattress and gently shaking your shoulder; on the other hand, you simply groaned again, turning towards the other side.

«Five more minutes, Seonghwa.» you mumbled back out of habitude, unconsciously trying to swat away Hyunjin’s hand.

As you moved, you unconsciously brushed few strands of hair from your face, making it now fall back on the soft pillow; Hyunjin shortly widened his eyes in surprise, and his fingertips moved a strand of hair behind your ear.

«Now, this is interesting.» he smirked while holding between his fingertips the silver feather dangling from your earring. Hyunjin smiled at himself, remembering the day where Karanda gave such a prestigious gift to your mother; of course, he had wondered if Hongjoong had kept it with him, but he was surprised not to have noticed that the feather has been with you for all this time.

«Troublesome child of Fire,» he whispered, his eyes briefly flashing a dark shade of grey, «although the wind can’t guide you, it can guide me to you.»

«We’ll shortly split the group in two,» Minho announced as soon as you and the others arrived in front of his door, «Jisung, Jeongin and Changbin will secure the horses right out of the nest; once we’re done we’ll need to run away really quickly, but if we all leave now towards the same direction, we’re just claim more unwanted attention.»  

«I’ll go with them as well,» Felix announced out of the blue, «I can easily hide our presence or hide our traces – I mean they can do that as well, but it would take them much more time.» Minho and Jisung shortly glanced at each other, before nodding at the Prince’s offer.

As soon as the others started following Jisung, Minho headed the opposite way, followed by you, Chris and Hyunjin; the young boy expertly walked you through the crowd who was constantly facing the opposite direction, busy gazing at the numerous lanterns lightning up the sky.

Once again, you were grateful about the fact that somewhere during your stroll, Chris’ hand tightly enveloped yours and didn’t let go.

«Uh, wanna hold mine?» Seungmin whispered to Hyunjin, holding his hand out as a joke, eventually gotten used to yours and Chris’ behaviour.

«Please, hold my hand so I can’t make them forcefully kiss.» Hyunjin hissed back, and the assassin let out a breathless laugh, as he placed both his hands against his nape.

Minho definitely wasn’t joking when he said that there was a somewhat secret path leading to Garmoth’s nest which was not used anymore. Turning right after the building containing a small pharmacy, you could see easy access to steep stairs carved into the side of the mountain; said steps, as well as being steep, had been naturally eroded by time, making them even smoother and more dangerous. Needless to say, you could easily figure out why no one was using that path in the first place.

«Say, you’re trying to kills us?» Seungmin questioned Minho, as your small group was forced to proceed in line, both hands gripping the rope attached to the side of the mountain as you descended with crossed steps.

«I wouldn’t dream of it,» Minho replied, «it would be useless, knowing that Hyunjin could easily save you.»

«Speaking of which, couldn’t you give us a lift?» Chris questioned, only for Hyunjin to scoff, clearly offended by the boy’s proposal.

«Did you take me for one of those domesticated gryphons?» he retorted, referring to the fact that some merchants transported their goods from a city to another through the sky.

It was as if you had been descending steps for hours, and still, your path looked never-ending.

«Are the others going to follow the same route?» Chris questioned, and Minho shook his head.

«They’ll take the other path, they will probably arrive before us.»

In the end, Minho’s words turned out to be the truth. Jisung’s group was patiently waiting for you while comfortably sitting in front of the entrance of a narrow tunnel, collectively raising their eyebrows at the fact that as soon as you touched solid ground, you, Seungmin and Chris knelt on it while mumbling random “thank you’s” towards it.

«I really don’t want to experience something like that anymore.» you spoke, both Seungmin and Chris quickly agreeing with you.

«Quit being dramatic, it wasn’t that bad.» Hyunjin simply shrugged, making Felix silently sneer.

The tunnel in which you had to pass was not particularly long; in fact, as soon as you entered, you could already see its end. A few drops of water occasionally fell from the rocky ceiling, echoing in the small puddles located in the uneven mixture of gravel and mud you were walking over.

Although you expected that Garmoth’s nest would look like a lot of things, you definitely did not expect that you wouldn’t have been able to see almost anything due to a dense fog obstructing your sight.

Minho and Jisung – followed by the others, stopped right in front a wide altar which seemed to be made out of marble, before placing the box containing the fire silk flowers on top of it.

«This is the fifth altar; we have to place the flowers, and then light the candles.» Minho explained, before tilting his head towards the sky; «you can’t see anything due to the fog, but Duvencrune is right there.

No one would be able to see this altar, due to its position.» following his gaze and wrapping your head around what you had learned about the city’s geography during the past days, you deduced he was right.

Absently nodding at his words, you did your best to ignore the fact that your heart was racing due to the anxiety you were feeling; with secure steps, you closed the small distance between you and the altar, waving your hand towards the lone candle on top of it in order to set it alight.

«Should we start?» you nervously questioned, reaching out to grab the box of flowers.

«I think it’s not wise for all of us to walk in there,» Hyunjin hurriedly spoke, as he saw how everyone was ready to follow you.

«Yeah, what if Garmoth thinks Hongjoong sent us?» Jeongin quickly added, and as much you hated to think about it, you had to admit to yourself that it was the truth.

«You can’t possibly think to go by yourself.» Chris questioned you with his voice laced with worry, breathing an exasperated sigh as you answered with a court nod.

«Probably we should calm down and think about a better solution?» Felix proposed, and you shook your head.

«But I am calm, really. Don’t I look calm?» you nervously spoke, trying to hide the tremor of your hands while holding the flower box a little tighter, «My decision to walk in there alone is a calm, rational and reasonable decision -»

«I’ll go with her,» Minho stated, interrupting your nervous blabbering and quickly claiming everyone’s attention, «we’re both children of Fire, we’ll be fine.»

As strange as it sounded, the fog seemed to dissipate the more you and Minho ventured towards the center of the nest.

«Is it usually this foggy down here?» you questioned him, scattering few flowers on one of the altar as Minho effortlessly lightened up the candle.

«It’s… not.» he truthfully answered, making you feel as if your throat just tightened out of nervousness.

If Garmoth’s nest looked incredibly vast from above, now that you were walking through it, it never seemed to end; the soil had not been cleared, and there were small areas where with wild grass was growing right next to clearly burnt soil. The four altars were very far from each other, and if from the top of the mountain – the city of Duvencrune, the spikes of rock clearly looked like a dragon’s claw, seen from below it was impossible to deduce it, as no matter how far you could look up, it was impossible to see their end.

Although the others were nervously trying to spot both you and Minho through the thick layer of fog, Hyunjin sat on the marble altar with crossed legs, his chin delicately placed on his palm, as he wore an amused expression.

Of course, his sight was definitely better than the sight of a human’s, reason why he had no trouble keeping an eye on the two of you.

Not to mention, he definitely had no trouble to notice how Garmoth was casually sitting on top a ledge erupting from one of the rocky spikes, watching over you and Minho with a pleased smile.

Hyunjin sighed, tempted to create a barrier wide enough to prevent everyone – beside your group, to notice the dragon that would have soon made his entrance, however, Garmoth seemed to already have thought of it; sharpening his gaze, Hyunjin noticed a faint but constant movement of air, as if it couldn’t move freely, and the bard smiled to himself.

Garmoth really seemed to already have thought about everything.

«That’s the last one.» Minho announced as he lightened up the fifth candle, and at once, the flowers caught fire as well. Instinctively, you took Minho’s hand out of fear, and he held yours just as tightly; although he never doubted Sulien’s words, he was still kind of doubtful about the simplicity that apparently was needed in order to summon a God.

«What now?» you nervously questioned as the two of you hesitantly started to make your way back towards the center of the nest. “Please, don’t say something like ‘we have to do a blood sacrifice’ or some other creepy things”, you mentally added.

«The notes don’t say anything else.» Minho hastily answered, but before he could even think about voicing any other thought, a sudden loud and menacing roar seemed to shake the sky, and the fog dissipated as if it was absorbed into the ground. Garmoth made its regal appearance; he flew over your heads in a predatory way before landing, the impact of his arrival against the ground was enough to make you and Minho jolt back from inertia.

«Lixie,» Hyunjin gently called out, and Chris shortly furrowed his eyebrows, puzzled at the unusual nickname suddenly used for his friend. Although Felix didn’t verbally answer him, he created a barrier out of vines and climbing plants, “shielding them from the Dragon’s sight” – as if earlier Garmoth didn’t eagerly wave at Hyunjin who blatantly ignored him, but leaving enough gaps so that they could still see you and Minho.  

Garmoth was huge, and no matter how far you looked, you couldn’t see the end of his tail; in that moment, Hongjoong’s tales about meeting the Dragon came to your mind, and you silently cursed yourself for saying that he was “definitely exaggerating how big a dragon could be”. The dragon’s scales were faint red and definitely looked impossible to graze; his pointed claws dug deep furrows in the ground as he slowly approached you and Minho, who still kept holding hands as if your life depended of it. Garmoth’s eyes were wary, and his eye colour kept changing, making it seem like you were gazing to a burning fire.

With a loud gulp, Minho let go of your hand, slowly positioning himself behind you, as to use you as a shield if something went wrong; the thing was, you did just the same. Both you and Minho kept walking backwards, hiding one behind the other, as an amused dragon, who was clearly having the time of his life, slowly chased you.

«Why are my children cowering in fear?» Garmoth spoke, and although he didn’t actually voice any of his words, Minho’s shaky fingertips immediately intertwining with yours were a way to let you understand that the both of you were able to hear him through your thoughts.

Taking a deep breath, you quickly glanced at Minho, before looking at Garmoth once again: «We are incredibly honoured and utterly blessed to gaze up-»

«-at your magnificent… magnificence, oh Garmoth… the magnificent.» Minho somewhat finished your sentence, as the Dragon was now slowly pacing around the two of you with slow and menacing step.

Judging by the gentle sway of his tail, Garmoth was definitely having the time of his life by seeing you shaking like leaves in the wind – Hyunjin knew that.

«You flatter me, young flames. However,» Garmoth’s powerful voice roared again within your head, and you instinctively closed your eyes because Hongjoong never said it would have been this unpleasant, «all this unnecessary flattery makes me think you came here to steal something from me.»

«No!» you and Minho simultaneously exclaimed, «No, no, no! We - we wouldn’t!»

«I came here – we came here, to seek for advice, and to warn you! Hongjoong is trying to-» you tried explain the situation, but Garmoth’s sudden annoyed huff of smoke made you froze mid-sentence.  

Could it be that you offended him somehow? “Maybe I shouldn’t have said we came to warn him, he’s a God… He probably knew,” you thought.

However, Garmoth rightfully interpreted your silence as being scared, and even though he loved humans and enjoyed meeting them in his dragon dorm every once a while, he realized that the matter you were to discuss was too important for you to face it while being that scared.

The Dragon lifted his face to the sky, and another powerful roar echoed within the nest; you and Minho instinctively shrieked, your hands melting together at this point – consider your hold on each other, as you instinctively closed your eyes in fear.

Garmoth’s body seemed to vanish in a whirlwind of fire, leaving some scattered dust on the soil, and as you and Minho opened your eyes once again, you were faced with the same fog you had seen right before lightening up the altars.

«So, that was it?» you weakly questioned, «we didn’t accomplish anything?» tears of frustration were gathering at the corner of your eyes, but before Minho could say something to console you, Garmoth’s voice spoke from behind you.

«Don’t be that sad! We have a lot to talk about, and very little time to do it.» at once, both you and Minho snapped your head behind yourself as quickly as you could, surprised at the unfamiliar man now looking at you with a proud and yet amused smile. «It’s still me, I figured you would feel less threatened about my human form!» Garmoth gave the both of you a dazzling smile, before reaching out in order to loop his arms around your neck; you stood at his right side, while Minho on his left. It was probably a secret thought that the both of you shared, but you were glad about the fact that the Dragon’s voice wasn’t echoing through your head anymore.

At that point, you weren’t sure that what was happening was real; a man, who claimed to be Garmoth and who had insanely handsome features, was patiently listening to everything you knew about Hongjoong and his corruption.

Of course, you definitely couldn’t doubt about his words, since his looks clearly gave away the fact that he was not human. Everything from his bright red eyes – which still kept burning as a lively flame, to the warmth spreaded from his honey coloured skin, to the small horns erupting from the sides of his forehead told you that he was – in fact, the God of Fire himself.

«His behaviour definitely must be Kzarka’s fault.» Garmoth, concluded, after few long minutes of silence.

«The God of Corruption?» Minho questioned, «Wasn’t he sealed away?»

«By my heel, he still is!» Garmoth exclaimed, his authoritative and powerful voice roaring even in his human form. «However, me and the Goddess of Air deduced that fragments of his aura are scattered in this world, and sadly Hongjoong found not just one, but two of them.»

«Is it that bad?» Minho curiously questioned him, as you stood there, unable to voice any of your question because you were too afraid of the answer.

«It is.» Garmoth simply nodded, «If a human were to find one fragment of his soul, he would die on the spot; when I brought him back to life, I gave Hongjoong part of my power, making him even stronger than any average children of Nature… That’s probably why he managed to create his Kingdom of puppets. Kzarka must have sealed away his soul, but not his powers.»

«How can I help him? There has to be a way for me to save him! Not only him, but Seonghwa, Wooyoung and -»

«You shouldn’t linger where there is no hope, young flame.» Garmoth interrupted your sentence, his gentle and soothing voice making the words die in your throat.

«What do you mean?» again, tears gathered at the corner of your eyes, and the Dragon easily collected them on the tip of his fingertips as he brushed your cheekbones almost in an affectionate manner.

«Anything Kzarka touches and corrupts is doomed to wither; it pains me to tell you but, all is left about your family is nothing but empty shells.» it was as if someone had just slapped you with a bucket of ice; as Garmoth noticed that both you and Minho seemed to refuse to speak, he went on. «I am sure someone is way better than me at singing old tales,» he chuckled to himself as he glanced towards where Hyunjin and the others were safely hidden, «but, when we faced Kzarka, many years ago, the cost to defeat him had been great – even unimaginable for someone as young and small as the two of you. We spent time, love and dedication to create humanity, just for a single God to corrupt half of it, and even though Kzarka managed to destroy almost every God that roamed this world, the four who survived are - we’re still facing the consequences of his powers after centuries  - no, probably much more than that.»  

«Your task is very simple, however, I am sure it would create further turmoil within your soul.» Garmoth took a confident step in front of the two of you, turning around to face you once again; he faintly outstretched the palm of his hand, and closed it around what seemed to be one of his own scales. Fire started erupting from his hand following a precise shape, and after few seconds, a sword materialized from the burning fire.

Garmoth handed it over to you, «Use this to stab Hongjoong. If you’re lucky, you’ll see him one last time, before he’ll be consumed by his own power – burning from flames to dust, returning to me and therefore facing my judgement.»

As if someone else was moving your body instead of your own will, you emotionlessly reached out to grab at the helm and the sheath of the sword, clutching it against your chest. Chris’ words about his duty being to get rid of Seonghwa rather gave you a hint about what Garmoth would have told you to do, but still, you couldn’t believe it.

Most importantly, would you be able to do it?  

«I am afraid our time is up, young flames.» Garmoth smiled, ruffling Minho’s hair in an affectionate manner, «I saw few humans do it to their young kiddos, it’s not that bad indeed!» he chuckled to himself. «I can’t really tell you anything about your future, but – well, Minho, take care of your sister for me as well; and believe me, you’re going to love your found family.» Garmoth told him, tilting his head towards you as to signal that of course, you had just been appointed as Minho’s relative.

«And you - tell me, how are things with the Prince?» Garmoth questioned, and as if you had been woken up from a strange dream, you furrowed your eyebrows just to stare back at him quizzically, «Your soulmate, of course!» Garmoth added with his signature dazzling smile.

Minho’s wide eyes, matching your incredulity locked with yours.

Felix was your soulmate?

«Thinking about it, I’m sure you’ll be fine. He’s a considerate man – all children of Water are.» he added, and if possible, you were sure that both yours and Minho’s eyes widened even more.

If the Prince was your soulmate, but the Prince was a son of Water, it could only mean that -

«Chris is your soulmate?!» Minho questioned, utterly uncredulous, and you simply stared back at him with your eyes as wide as the moon.

«Yeah, I believe that’s his name for this life.» the Dragon replied with furrowed eyebrows, not understanding why the two of you could be so shocked about the Prince being a son of Water; after all, Karanda had told him that you were indeed travelling together!

Far from where you and Minho stood, however, Hyunjin definitely couldn’t believe his ears; Garmoth really walked in the place revealing things he definitely shouldn’t have revealed.  

«Fool of a Dragon.» he spat under his breath, hiding his face into his hands.

After you and Minho bid farewell to Garmoth, and he disappeared in a sudden flash of burning flames, Minho gently took a hold of your hand, leading the two of you towards the others once again.

Despite the fact that you were wordlessly following Minho as if you were in a trance while holding against your chest the enchanted sword, despite the fact that as soon as your friends spotted you, they ran towards the two of you while asking a lot of questions, the only thing you found yourself able to do was to walk towards Chris.

Wordlessly and without making eye contact, you placed your head in the crook of his neck, and he immediately held you, quietly asking what happened, worried about the fact that you had started crying; Chris locked his eyes with Minho, unable to decipher his gaze.

«We’ll explain everything as soon as we’ll be far enough from here; right now we have to flee.» Although everyone was curious about what could have happened to make you react like that, they knew that Minho was right, and the most difficult part of the plan was about to start.

«Do you want to ride with me?» Chris quietly questioned you as he reluctantly let go of you, and you nodded at him; although you just found out that Chris had been lying about his identity, you suspected there was a valid reason for it.

Moreover, most importantly, you didn’t want to be alone.

Few hours later, a more than reassuring distance was between your group and the city of Duvencrune, and as you were camping right under a blanket of stars, you and Minho explained what Garmoth told you – without mentioning about the part where Chris was your soulmate.

Actually, if you were to be honest, Minho explained to the others what happened during your meeting, because since you left the nest, you barely spoke.

«You don’t seem surprised to hear any of that, could it be that you already knew?» Felix quietly questioned Hyunjin, after he made sure that no one else could hear them; Hyunjin simply nodded, his heart tightening at the sight of you politely refusing to eat yet again.

«Don’t meddle yourself with humans affairs too much, for you are not one of them.» Karanda had clearly told him back then, and he was a fool for ignoring her suggestion so blatantly.

«I should have known better.» he melodramatically sighed loudly, ignoring Felix’s questioning gaze; Hyunjin started walking towards you, his hands confidently placed behind his nape.

«Shoo, away from my princess.» he joked, quickly moving his hands to ironically signalling Changbin to move out the way; he took the bowl the man was previously holding before sitting in front of you.

«You have two options, either you eat this by yourself, or I’ll feed you myself,» he heard Chris  say, and he forcefully hid an amused smile; he had never seen the Prince trying to make you do anything against your will until now.

Let’s just say that, considered the kind of day you just had, and the fact that it was late night and the last time you ate was probably earlier that morning, he kind of approved Chris trying to make you eat something; for sure, no one among them wanted to see you collapse out of exhaustion.

«I second that!» Hyunjin intervened, nodding at Chris’ thankful gaze, «but if I have to feed you, I’ll make the same stupid noises people have to do while feeding a baby.»

Although Hyunjin’s incredibly serious gaze met your emotionless one, you managed to scoff out of incredulity.

«How can you wait for me to finish eating - aren’t you usually the most famished among all of us?» you weakly questioned back.

However, the perspective of Hyunjin mimicking a horse’s noise as he brought the spoon from the bowl to your mouth definitely did not seem appealing, reason why you reached out, hesitantly taking a hold of the bowl full of stew.

«You seemed to like it last time, I thought it could… cheer you up.» Jeongin hesitantly spoke from the other side of the fireplace, and you found yourself smiling at him.

«So, what’s the plan?» Seungmin questioned the following day.

«Although it’s clear where we have to go, I think we should properly prepare ourselves,» Felix reasonably proposed, «there are nine of us – and Jisung and Minho can’t fight, we definitely can’t barge into the Cursed Kingdom expecting to succeed.» At Felix’s words, Seungmin’s and Jeongin’s ears perked up; immediately, their attention was locked on both Minho and Jisung.

Needless to say, if they already swore that their hostility towards you had disappeared, now it was undeniable; their attention completely shifted on teaching both Minho and Jisung how to properly fight, because «What do you mean that at Duvencrune, people are raised to devote themselves to Garmoth? Oh, you mean you were raised to die young?»

That said, Changbin suggested to not move until the following morning; «It’s a shielded place, no one would see us anyway; as long as we start moving at dawn’s light, we’ll be okay.» he said, and once again, being he the most expert when it came to travelling, you followed his lead.

Although you spent the day mostly laying on the grass and doing absolutely nothing, you were glad about the fact that Chris decided to do the same thing.

«Can I stay with you, or do you want to be alone?» he had questioned, crouching down next to you, and you answered that of course, you didn’t want to be alone.

As the others spend the unexpected day off someone training and someone rearranging the provisions, Chris had patiently sat next to you, listening as you mindlessly emptied the contents of your heart.  

Once again, you carefully avoided to mention about the fact that you and him were soulmates and most importantly, you avoided to mention about the fact that – somewhere along your endless talk, your fingers naturally intertwined.

«I know what Garmoth said, I will never have my father and the others back, but… a tiny part of me believes I can.» you said, aware that you probably sounded like an idiot. However, Chris hummed, gently playing with your fingers.

«I don’t think you sound like an idiot,» he shrugged, and for a second you questioned whether you spoke out loud, «they are people you love, it’s only fair for you to want to save them. However… Probably, that’s the best solution, not only for – well, literally the whole known land since we’re constantly on the verge of war, but for them as well?»

Chris noticed that you were glancing at him with a puzzled expression, and so he explained himself; «I am not you, therefore, I will never know the full story like you do, but, when we met Wooyoung, he said that your mother had suffered from an illness after she came in contact with one of the stones. And, if I heard Minho correctly, Garmoth said that their soul is corrupted, or most definitely sealed away. Could it be that maybe, Hongjoong and the others have been suffering for years?»

In the moment your gaze locked with Chris’ mismatched eyes, you definitely felt like an idiot. The fact that they all suffered was undeniable; Hongjoong lost not only his wife – his soulmate, but his own daughter as well.

Wooyoung’s face as he told you that San has lost himself to darkness – therefore forgetting everything about the long years they have been married, was something you definitely could not forget, as well. Each one of your loved ones had lost something that they loved – whether it was a person or just their passion towards their work or hobbies, and still, you felt in the rightful to want to bring them back to you.

Especially, after Wooyoung had explicitly told you that everyone of them had willingly decided to be corrupted in your place, just to give you enough time to grow up and become fully independent. Suddenly, the never-ending training sessions you had to stand for years finally made sense, now that you were looking at your past from another perspective.

“I’m really lucky you’re my soulmate,” you secretly thought, hoping that one day, you would have been able to speak those words as well.

«Princess, can we talk to you?» Minho hesitantly spoke as Jisung was standing next to him, shyly adverting his gaze, as no one really wanted to interrupt the small bubble you and Chris seemed to be trapped in.  

Wanting for the three of you to be alone, Minho and Jisung walked to the other side of the small camp, their backs turned towards the others so that no one could see what they were about to do.

«Me and Jisung came to an agreement,» Minho announced, handing your dagger towards you, «we’re returning it.»

«You’re… leaving? But we’re far from any village, at least let us travel together until-»

«Let me explain, please,» Minho quickly added, his voice much more softer than it was the day you first met him, and you noticed how Jisung had lifted his hands as well, signalling you to let his brother explain, «we didn’t know about who you were and the whole… thing you have to face. We simply saw your group as a free ride to leave Duvencrune, however – on our part, things have changed. We are returning the dagger because – if you allow us, we plan to help you and to stay by your side because we’re willing to, not because we’re bound by a trade.»

«Ah,» you sighed, as once again you felt tears gathering at the corner of your eyes; instinctively, you reached out to hug the both of them, mumbling a soft, «I don’t usually cry that much, you just took me by surprise.»

Minho laughed, but most importantly, as faintly as a whisper carried by the wind, you thought you heard Jisung mumble an almost inaudible: «It’s okay.»

Later that night, Felix was the first to keep watch, silently guarding the camp as you and the others were fast asleep.

«You look a little bit too relaxed, you already forgot about our task?» Hyunjin questioned, as he sat next to Felix.

«Of course I didn’t! We’re going to walk straight into Hongjoong’s trap as if it’s not even there.» Felix answered faking enthusiasm, making the bard roll his eyes at him. «Although I’m trying to have faith in them, I can’t help to be worried.» the son of Earth reluctantly admitted, and the bard agreed with him.

«The thought of something happening to Chris once again is enough to give me collywobbles.» Felix added, his eyes unfocused.

«The what?» Hyunjin questioned, and Felix sighed in an exasperated way.

«I’m scared!!» he whisper-yelled, emphasizing the concept.

“Let their fate do its course”, but what could it mean? Moreover, why did Hyunjin had the feeling that Karanda was hiding something from him?

Felix was silent once again, and he didn’t want to disturb him; for a moment, he wondered why Offin decided to burden a mortal boy with such a request.

“Not like I need assistance,” Hyunjin thought, “unless something else came up.”

Few days had passed since you met Garmoth, and you felt strangely tense; although you didn’t want to mention about your feelings to the others because you didn’t want to burden them with your emotions, you settled for being more wary towards your surroundings.

Felix and Changbin were once again leading the group towards a village – which was at least four more days of uncomfortable travel, and you couldn’t wait to sleep on a real bed once more.

Although the vegetation was thick once again, and consequently the dry and arid climate of Duvencrune was definitely behind you, you were still roaming through the mountains – even if of a lower altitude.

Roaming through the mountains meant that you had to think twice about the direction you were to take because, as Changbin repeated quite often, “damn cliffs are damn everywhere on this damn land”. However, no one expected both Felix to take the wrong path and – most importantly, Yunho to be there.

«Well well, that’s unexpected,» Yunho’s attention was claimed by the sound of the horses’ hooves. He was expecting to see some travellers who got lost, but he was rather surprised to find you of all people among them, «tired of your stupid game of cat and mouse?» he questioned with a smug grin. Yunho’s eyes turned completely black, he snapped his fingers, making a small group of at least ten soldiers seemed to appear out of darkness itself.

“I’m sure that he couldn’t do this last time I saw him, what in the world happened?” you thought, cowering in fear and glad about the fact that Changbin instinctively placed his horse between the two of you in an attempt to shield you.

«Quit it, Yunho.» Changbin spoke; however, as Yunho’s eyes landed on his long-time friend, there was no sign of recognition in them. Yunho furrowed his eyebrows and tilted his head, almost about to question to Changbin why he was daring referring to him so confidentially.

«I feel generous today,» Yunho’s authoritative voice spoke, silently dismissing Changbin’s topic, «I’ll let you dismount from your horses before throwing you down this cliff.»

«Leave the horses problem to me.» Felix quickly said, making you dismount from your rides at once; hiding someone’s presence was something common among children of Earth, you’ve seen Jongho creating paths out of nowhere plenty of times to know that Felix was probably about to do the same.

Although you were certain that the horses were going to be fine, you definitely couldn’t say the same about you.

«I want the girl alive, kill everyone else.» Yunho’s authoritative tone ordered as he wore a stoic and blank expression; as if they had just been woken up from a dream, the soldiers – who have been completely unmoving until then, charged towards your direction. It was obvious that you were outnumbered, and it was obvious that you couldn’t win.

Felix was momentarily nowhere to be seen, and therefore, out of instinct you moved towards Chris’ left side, as the boy was busy covering Minho’s back as well.

«What if we flee?» Changbin questioned with a scream, making sure you could hear him above the loud clashes of the swords. In the same moment, next to you, Chris managed to disarm one of Yunho’s soldiers with a quick and swift movement of his sword, just to grab at the enemy’s throat; water circled his neck, and as you saw him falling to the floor painfully coughing even more water, you realized you didn’t want to know what kind of fighting techniques were used at Iliya’s Island.

«It would be useless,» Seungmin, screamed back, «they won’t die unless they’ve fulfilled the order they received!» Exactly as your friend said, Yunho’s soldier sat back on the ground, slowly getting up after recovering his sword, ready to charge at him once again.

«That’s not possible!» Chris’ incredulous voice as he dodged yet another attack caught your attention, but you already knew what he was referring to. There was a black cloud of constantly moving black smoke around said soldier’s throat, and you didn’t have to glance at Yunho to confirm your suspicions. As easily as that, Yunho neutralized Chris’ spell.

The only spells who seemed to work longer than the others were Hyunjin’s; he was effortlessly and continuously neutralizing your enemies for a little longer than anyone else managed to. However, at this rate, it was impossible for anyone to take a break from continuously fighting in order to defend yourself.

It was definitely Yunho’s strategy; make you tired enough so that he could snatch you away without wasting too much of his energy. Hyunjin was the only one continuously attacking, thanks to his ability to move as quick as the wind; the rest of you were collaborating as best as you could, trying to deliver powerful spells only if someone else was parrying the opponent’s attack.

«It’s getting boring in here.» Yunho exclaimed, startling you judging from how close he got in the blink of an eye; he forcefully gripped your shoulder, yanking you towards the direction of the cliff.

«Let’s see if you were worth the wait.» Yunho’s voice spat, and once again, as your eyes locked, there was no sign of recognition in his eyes; as if the girl he had loved like his own daughter was now a complete stranger to him. «Since it’s your fault it took me so long to corrupt these souls, can you believe?» as his voice gradually got louder and – if possibly, angrier, he twirled the hilt of the sword on the back of his hand, only to grab it firmly once again and attack harshly towards the ground.

Although Yunho couldn’t remember, he was the one who - many years ago, had insisted that you constantly worked on having quick reflexes; it’s probably thanks to these lessons that his swords didn’t sink into your thigh.

«All is left about your family is nothing but empty shells,» Garmoth had said, and the words Yunho just spoke were the confirmation you needed.

Although one of the men you loved the most in the world was right in front of you, there was no trace of his kind and understanding soul any longer.

The thought of your family suffering only for you to be safe, for some reason, fuelled you with unexplainable anger; you quickly got on your feet, wielding the sword Garmoth’s created for you and launched forward.

«What’s that toy?» Yunho chuckled, easily parrying every one of your attacks; the fact that he wasn’t using his powers was a clear signal that he was playing with you, «Did the Dragon and his wench thought a human could kill me?» he laughed, kicking you in the stomach with enough force to make you fall on the ground once again. Yunho was towering over you, looking at you as if you were an annoying nuisance – you definitely were in his eyes, and as he approached your retreating form, he expertly twirled his sword in his hand.

«Watch out!» an unfamiliar rough voice shouted, and if only you were in such a situation, you would have been incredibly happy about the fact that Jisung had spoken out loud for the first time – of course, although you’d preferred for it to be a more peaceful moment.

As you dragged yourself back a little more, your left hand met the void; quickly glancing back, you realized with pure horror that not only you were literally at the edge of the cliff, but that Yunho was about to attack you once more and the only way to avoid it was to take the leap.

He drove his sword towards you once again, however, before you realized, a familiar weight crashed against yours, and you noticed too late that Chris’ arm had been stabbed by Yunho’s sword.

«No!» you exclaimed, as Yunho’s wicked laughter filled your ears; you pushed Chris’ back against your chest, and he clutched at the painful fresh wound. There was a faint aura of black smoke erupting from your soulmate’s skin, and you realized with horror that Yunho’s sword must have been either poisoned or enchanted.

«That alchemist is really something.» Yunho nodded to himself approvingly, as to praise Yeosang’s skill because - of course, no one else but him could have come up with something like that.

«Thinking about it, I changed my mind, you’ll die here.» Yunho’s wicked grin was back on his lips, as he closed his right hand in a tight fist; a small cloud of menacing darkness was erupting from it. «Hongjoong sends his regards.» he spat with an ironic tone, before the land under yours and Chris’ feet crumbled.

Before you realized what was happening, you and Chris were falling off the cliff at dangerous speed; although there was a river right underneath it, you sincerely doubted it was deep enough not to hurt the both of you. Moreover, the fall was dangerously high, meaning that you and your soulmate were most definitely doomed.

Suddenly, you felt Chris move his left arm right behind your waist, quickly yanking you against his chest. Ignoring the pain he was feeling, Chris used his powers, both eyes turning blue as the river quickly rose from its bed towards your direction, just to welcome you as a soft and inconsistent mattress, gently accompanying your fall and making you safely land on the river bank.

«I’ll leave the rest to you now.» Chris roughly panted, groaning in pain as he tried to do his best not to lose his senses.

Back on the cliff, Yunho and his soldiers had vanished in a cloud of black smoke in the same moment they saw you and Chris fall off the cliff.

«We have to find a way down, and quickly!» Minho urged, getting as close as the cliff as he could.

«It’s pretty high from here, they could be-»

«Seungmin, finish that sentence and I will personally cut your tongue.» Changbin’s rough and distressed voice spoke, as he tried to focus enough to summon his power just to see things from the river’s perspective.

However, as strange as it was, he could not.

«I can’t see… anything?» he opened his eyes, quizzically looking at Hyunjin and Felix. As the two of them tried to do the same, Changbin’s words were sadly confirmed.

Hyunjin had enchanted your earring so that he could be able to find you anywhere and everywhere, so why couldn’t he?

“Let their fate do its course.” Karanda had said, but was this what she meant?

Most importantly, what had he and Felix done to their friends?

Given the fact that a cloak of stars was draped over the sky, you admitted to yourself that you had completely lost track of time. Despite his attempts not to faint, Chris effectively lost his senses as soon as the two of you touched the wet soil of the riverbank, leaving you the task to both look for a sheltered place and somehow dragging him there.

Unexpectedly, you managed to find a recess, not deep enough to be considered a cave, but large and deep enough to allow you to hide inside undetected. Considering the fact that Chris was in a constant state where he kept fainting and gaining consciousness and you didn’t know whether Yunho was still looking for you, you decided that it was enough of a shelter for the night.

Carefully, you helped Chris sat against the sturdy wall of the recess, immediately creating a small fireplace right next to him; trying to make as little noise as you could, you took off both his fur cloak and yours instantly drying them with your powers, just to cover your soulmate’s shaking form.

However, Chris’ teeth didn’t stop clattering, and your worry only increased; you quickly moved to sit next to him, sneaking under a small fraction of his makeshift blanket so that your bodies were effectively touching, so that you could share your natural body heat with him.

Instinctively, Chris moved, leaning against your warmth barely above a whisper, he faintly mumbled your name, before leaning his against your shoulder; not wanting for him to move, you slowly moved your arm so that you could link yours with his, hugging it close to your chest.

Although he warmed up pretty quickly after you sat next to him, Chris’ pained whimpers were enough for you to not to manage to sleep; during the night, you tried to use healing magic on his wound, just to notice that it didn’t work in the least. The wound looked painful, but not extremely deep; despite the fact that there wasn’t any more black smoke erupting from it, the flash around said wound was concerning shades of a purplish colour.

Rubbing your eyes with distressed movement as if to get rid of your tiredness, you kept trying to heal him, aware that - if Chris was like that, it was completely your fault.

Under the same blanket of stars, your friends had collapsed due to exhaustion, as they had spent what remained of the day trying to find you.

«Guide me to her,» Hyunjin faintly mumbled to the wind, his eyes turning grey; however, never ending seconds passed, only for the bard to realize that Karanda herself was probably preventing him to find you. Hyunjin tightly clenched his fist, and turned his head towards Felix, who was once again keeping watch.

«If they wake up, cover for me.» the bard said, and before his friend could say anything else, he vanished in a gust of wind.

«You are shielding my sight.» Hyunjin advanced with secure steps through the Harpies’ Ridge. It wasn’t clear to him why he was so worked up about the issue; but he dismissed his thoughts with the shallow thought that he was just trying to follow her orders.

«And here I thought you came back because you missed your sisters.» Karanda addressed him, as always quietly sitting on her throne.

Hyunjin would have never thought that the day where he could be so angry towards his Queen would come, and yet, there he was.

«You’re shielding my sight, Karanda. I’ve been by your side for enough years for you to know that I hate when you do it.»

The Goddess, however, shook her head, completely aware about why the harpy was behaving like that, «It’s not my fault this time, but Kzarka’s.» meeting Hyunjin’s silence, she explained further, «I believe part of his corrupted power is dangerously close to her.»

Hyunjin’s heart felt a little less restless; although he was happy Karanda didn’t betray him, he was still worried about his friends. The bard furrowed his eyebrows, could it be that while they were fighting, Yunho managed to hurt one of them? No one saw what happened, since the cursed soldiers were keeping them busy enough to prevent it.

«They are alive, Hyunjin. Their souls haven’t returned to the Gods.» she added, and the bard nodded at her, although he didn’t manage to hide his concern.

At dawn’s first light, you felt a gentle hold around your wrist; snapping your head up, you realized with horror that somewhere along your attempts to heal Chris, you fell asleep. As you sat between his bent legs, your head had naturally fell on the crook of his neck, as apparently, your hands remained on his chest; you didn’t know if you felt more sore due to the uncomfortable position you slept in or if you felt more embarrassed about it.

However, Chris was looking at you, his eyes partially unfocused, before quietly glancing around just to take in your surroundings.

«How do you feel?» you cautiously asked, your heart feeling heavy as you noticed that he was still flinching and whimpering due to the pain he was feeling, but he was doing his best in trying to hide it from you. Chris didn’t trust his voice to verbally answer, and therefore he simply nodded, leaning his head back against the wall and closing his eyes.

«I’m sorry,» you admitted as you felt your eyes sting from the tears threatening to fall, «it’s my fault, I’m sorry.» you repeated, lowering your head so that you were staring at your lap.

«Cut the bullshit, it’s not your fault.» Chris’ husky and soft voice broke the silence, and he gently lifted your chin by placing his index finger under it, «I got hurt because I wanted to protect you, and it’s on me, not you.» you shook your head weakly, and he weakly scoffed.

Somewhere between your small talk, his hand slid from your wrist to your hand, intertwining your fingers in a gesture that despite everything, managed to comfort you.

Although he admitted that he wanted to protect you, you still wondered why; the feeling that he could return your feelings with the same intensity was a small yet bright hope in your heart, and you found yourself hesitantly tracing the scar on his face with trembling fingertips and a gentle touch.

Chris’ mismatched eyes were locked on you, and the kindness and affection that they showed were enough for you to realize that you didn’t want to lose him.

It was as if time stopped, just for you to inch closer to each other; as your lips met halfway, you wondered who had been the first one to lean in. Chris’ lips were gently and yet passionate against yours, just like his whole personality. He weakly lifted his left hand just to caress your cheek, moving your head just enough to deepen the kiss and you let him - you would have let him do so much more, but Chris sudden pained his broke the small bubble the both of you had lived in for few second.

Chris leaned his head in the crook of your neck, whimpering and shivering in pain, leaving you sitting between his legs and staring at the rocky wall; your heart was hammering in your chest, and you knew your soulmate could hear it loud and clear.

«Why did you kiss me?» you weakly questioned, unsure about the fact that your voice even came out in the first place.

«I’m sorry, sweetheart,» you heard him fatiguely speak, «I always show up too late when it’s time to save you.» he answered.

As you were about to retort, you noticed that your soulmate leaned his head back once again, his face shortly contorting in pain; taking a deep breath and trying to ignore the fact that you were effectively crying, you decided not to speak, repeating your ministration in trying to heal him.

«They’re here!» you heard Seungmin’s voice shout, and as you snapped your head to your right, you felt as if you have woken up from a nightmare.

It must have been somewhere around the middle of the afternoon; and you were still at Chris’ side, who had now completely lost his senses. Although his heart was beating and he was breathing weakly, he had passed out few hours after you kissed, and still hadn’t woken up.

«Seungmin!» you weakly called out, relief washing over you as one by one, the others ran to where he was standing.

«You’re alive, I was about to have a heart-attack» Changbin mumbled as he hugged you as tight as he could; however, despite the relief about the group being reunited, you still had a big problem to solve.

«What’s wrong with him?» Felix hurriedly ran to Chris’ side, kneeling next to his unconscious form and wiping few strands of black hair away from his forehead.

«Yunho stabbed his shoulder, I – I can’t heal him.» you nervously explained, not noticing how Hyunjin’s head snapped towards you, as he listened to your words with wide and incredulous eyes.

When Karanda hypothesized that part of Kzarka’s corrupted power was dangerously near you, he definitely didn’t consider the eventuality of Chris being hurt.

«Troublesome child of Water,» he faintly mumbled, as he closed the distance between him and your soulmate with quick steps. Hyunjin leaned in, examining Chris’ wound as the boy was still looking peacefully asleep; the bard’s fingertips faintly hovered over the boy’s injury, and his eyebrows furrowed.

Hyunjin clenched his jaw, the memories of many of friends succumbing to darkness due to the same wound immediately resurfacing; he had seen it happen countless times in the past, but still, he had hoped to never witness something like that again.

The God of Corruption’s aura was easily perceptible from Chris’ shoulder, and Hyunjin knew that it was just a matter of time for your soulmate to wake up as another one of Kzarka’s puppets.

The bard didn’t need to make up his mind in order to decide to save him: although Karanda had told him not to meddle with humans, he had realized long ago that he had blatantly disobeyed her order.

Hyunjin faintly smiled, thinking about the paradox of his situation: the harpy who always refused to reincarnate into a human because of her hatred towards the species was now trying so desperately to save the friends she made as she reincarnated into a human boy.

«Stay back, all of you.» Hyunjin spoke, and his sudden and unusual authoritative tone made you immediately comply; Felix stood up as well, walking to your side. «Let’s see if I remember how it’s done.» the bard mumbled to himself, as he placed the palm of his hand above Chris’ wound. Hyunjin’s eyes flashed a dark shade of grey, action which made you furrow your eyebrows; you were taught that healing or basic magic made your eyes turn golden, so why did he use his elemental magic to heal?

«Healing spells don’t work.» you faintly spoke; however, the words died in your throat as soon as Hyunjin began to speak; his words were incomprehensible, almost if he was talking an ancient and forgotten language.

As Hyunjin kept reciting his spell, a faint white glow seemed to be emitted from his body, and everyone noticed as well how his eyes gradually started to change colour: if his elemental magic made his eyes look like the darkest of clouds, now, his orbs were almost white.

Again, Hyunjin kept talking and Chris’s face started to contort in pain; there were few droplets of sweat on the bard’s forehead, and despite his hand was trembling every now and then, he refused to stop.

Suddenly, looking at Hyunjin, you seemed to recall one of Seonghwa’s tales about your mother: it lasted probably a fraction of a second, but at some point, you were sure you could see pure white feathers erupting from Hyunjin’s forearms, and in that moment you realized, the bard must have been blessed by the Goddess of Air herself.

For few seconds, everyone was so speechless about what happened, that no one noticed that Chris’ wound had completely been healed.  

«After all this time, I’m still the best healer around.» Hyunjin vainly announced as he stood up once again, brushing the dust off his knees. However, no one dared to say anything.

«Oh, come on.» he sighed, «you’re not even going to say “thank you?”»

Later that day, it was safe to say that no one on the way to the next village spoke about what happened; in fact, for hours, no one dared to utter a word.

Whether you were tired or you were still astonishingly processing what Hyunjin had done few hours earlier, everyone had their different reason.

-

«Now that I think about it, I forgot my lyre in one of the bags of Felix’s horse,» Hyunjin said, wrapping both his hands around your right one, «Could you get it for me?» you furrowed your eyebrows, glancing at Changbin who simply shrugged.

«Can’t you materialize it?» Jeongin asked curiously, and you glanced at the younger boy, consequentially missing how Hyunjin glared daggers towards him.

«I’m still recovering from healing Chris.» the bard lied, but you nodded at him, not asking for further explanations.

«I’ll see you at the inn, then.» you mumbled nervously, glancing towards Minho, who was effortlessly carrying a still unconscious Chris on his back.

As soon as you were out of sight, Hyunjin’s expression darkened, suddenly looking exhausted.

«I know you are still shocked, but I mean no harm. However, we are gathered here today to fight our common enemy.» he spoke, making Felix scoff while hiding a smile; after all, riding a horse together meant that they had plenty of time to gossip.

«Enemy?» Minho questioned.

«Another one?» Seungmin echoed.

«Damn, you really are that naive…» Changbin joked, but Hyunjin quickly silenced the group while raising his index finger.

«I definitely haven’t been sent here to play the God of Love, but those two are literally making me go crazy.» Hyunjin glanced at Chris – who was about to wake up, and hoped that he wouldn’t hear any part of this conversation.

«He’s saying,» Felix chimed in, «we need a valid excuse for them to solve whatever they have going on.»

«Brainstorming, that’s cool.» Changbin mumbled.

«We could get them drunk-» Seungmin offered, just to be harshly silenced by Hyunjin.

«They’ll forget and we’re gonna have the same problem, next one.»

«We could-»

«Jeongin, you’re a child, you shouldn’t even been listening to this conversation.» Hyunjin interrupted him, pressing his thumb and index finger against the bridge of his nose.

«We could room together and make them do the same.» Jisung timidly spoke, still not used to speak in front of someone who wasn’t Minho; Hyunjin’s eyes, however, seemed to sparkle with interest.

«He’s right,» Minho chimed in, «let’s pay the inn-keeper more just to make them believe there aren’t more room available.»

Felix and Hyunjin glanced at each other, and as easily as that, they decided that Jisung and Minho would share a room, making it impossible for either you or Chris to want to switch; Seungmin, Jeongin and Changbin would share another one, using the excuse to “keep an eye on them”.

«As for us, she might suggest to switch rooms, but Chris is- well, kinda jealous of Hyunjin, so he would never agree.» Felix explained.

Therefore, that’s basically how, once you arrived at the inn while holding Hyunjin’s lyre, Jisung announced you about your roommate’s condition.

Chris had woken up, and he was now sitting on the bed that the two of you were supposed to sleep on.

However, your soulmate wasn’t alone, because apparently, everyone else had decided to intrude your shared room; some were sitting on the bed, some on the floor, because Changbin had purposely saved one of the chairs for you to sit on.

Not to mention, each of them had brought few plates full of food as well, meaning that it was just like when you were sitting in Minho’s kitchen, but the feelings each one of you held were completely different from then.

«Why don’t we face the elephant in the room?» Seungmin suggested, noticing how everyone was suddenly looking nervous.

«And that should be me?» Hyunjin questioned, chewing on his food.

«Yeah, of course,» Seungmin eagerly nodded, «Chris is okay, the least you could do is to tell us what happened.» Instinctively, you glanced at Chris, who simply gave you a small smile before adverting his gaze.

«Long story short, I am a spy from Karanda.» Hyunjin announced; enjoying how everyone’s eyes widened dramatically wide – except for Felix’s.

Although the bard never expected for the day where the told the truth about his mission to come, he also never expected him to feel relieved after doing it. Little by little, he explained everything: Karanda’s worries, his mission and – of course, the fact that he had to do everything as a human boy.

Eventually, everyone had their fair share of doubts regarding Hyunjin’s identity, but no one ever brought up the topic; however, you had to admit that it was both funny and heart-warming that everyone was perfectly okay with it.

«A Goddess sent someone to watch over the Princess, that’s something I would never have dreamed of.» Changbin chuckled to himself, adding that he couldn’t wait to get back home in order to tell Lea about it.

«You’re technically a woman?» Jeongin was the first one to speak, his eyes wide in disbelief, Hyunjin nodded briefly, and the assassin’s questions seemed to bloom on the tip of his tongue, «That’s cool! Can you effectively transform?»

«Sadly, I can’t go back being an harpy,» Hyunjin sighed, «unless Karanda undoes her spell, I will live my human life looking like this.»

«At least, you’re good looking.» Seungmin unexpectedly commented next to you, and for a second, your hand froze in mid air as you were about to take a sip from your chalice; Minho’s gentle kick against your feet and your accomplice smile, however, misleaded you into thinking that he heard Seungmin’s words as well.

As the child of Fire’s eyes mischievously landed on Chris, you realized what he was about to do, and your heart picked up pace.

«Now that you’re okay, something interesting happened at Garmoth’s nest.» Minho hid a smug smile behind a small chalice, ignoring the fact that you were looking at him as to beg him to shut up.

«Is it about Garmoth?» Jisung excitedly asked him, hoping to hear interesting stories about the Dragon, and Minho nodded at him.

«Apparently, our Princess has a soulmate.» he spoke, and the collective gasp that filled the room made you desire for the ground to swallow you whole.

«Who is it? Did anyone win the bet?» Seungmin questioned, making you rise an eyebrow at him.

«The bet?» you quizzically asked, but no one answered you, to engrossed with Minho’s storytelling.

«Her soulmate is our beloved Prince.» he said, and among shocked faces, only Felix and Chris remained stoic.

«Felix?!» Changbin asked incredulous, making you shake your head at him.

«About that-» Felix started to speak, but was immediately cut off by Minho.

«The Prince, a child of Water,» Minho clarified, «which is really weird, because Lix is a child of Earth.»

Chris’ eyes met yours, and you silently apologetically smiled at him; for a split second, you hoped for him not to be against the idea of being your soulmate, however, you realized that the silence that followed Minho’s words meant that everyone was waiting for an explanation.

«We’re quite used to swap titles when we leave Iliya Island, especially since the assassination,» Chris spoke, nervously scratching his nape, «I guess we got caught up. I’m sorry.»

«The assassination?!» you instinctively questioned, memories of the conversation you had with Chris resurfacing; following what he had told you, he had been assassinated two months before your first meeting, so how could he look so relaxed about everything?

Both Felix and Chris explained that there were some nobles not completely happy about the fact that the crowned Prince was an illegitimate child, and therefore tried to get rid of him. However, things definitely changed as soon as they saw Chris effortlessly resurfacing from the ocean he had been thrown to after being stabbed, looking very much alive and enraged.

«It really feels like one of those games I used to play when I was younger: you either had to tell the truth about something or do what you were told to,» Changbin explained as he drank a sip of wine, «Minho, Jisung? I believe it’s your turn.» Jisung and Minho looked at each other, before shrugging.

«It’s really not that deep,» Minho answered truthfully, «once you are born in Duvencrune, you can’t live. Basically, we didn’t want to die in there. If you are born as a Duvencrune citizen, you can't leave, no matter what.»

Although you didn’t realize when, but at some point of the night, you had to share your part of truth as well; you quickly glanced around the room, taking in your friend’s faces as they laughed and teased each other, and you wondered if – when she met Hongjoong, your mother had felt the same feeling of belonging as you do.

Seungmin had returned Garmoth’s sword to you, saying that he had found it as he was descending part of the cliff while they were looking to you, and that was your clue to explain yourself. Again, you told them about what the Dragon had told you to do, but you eventually explained about how you had lived your life as well.

Hongjoong - along with his wife and his friends, had spent part of his life living in Velia, also known as the town of freedom. There, your father and your mother lived peacefully and madly in love with each other, showering you with love from the day you were born; the three of you lived a happy life, along with his friends – your family.

Everything seemed to be perfect; you were growing up cultivating your talent as a daughter of Fire, Hongjoong had patiently and carefully spent part of his days teaching you how to use your powers without hurting yourself in the process.

You admired your mother dearly, and her tales about the days where she met your father and they fought together were probably your favourite. Somehow, you wanted to be just like her: selfless, brave, caring. To anyone who asked you, your mother was a warrior, and it would have been a blessing to be able to resemble her, even if just a little bit.

However, after a mysterious stone had been found – which now you knew it was filled with Kzarka’s power, your mother fell ill and passed away in few weeks, causing the indescribable despair of Hongjoong.

Everything seemed to be okay at the beginning; the two of you would visit her tombstone just outside of town, until you eventually noticed that your father spent excessively much time in front of it. Slowly, you noticed how he had started to change; it was as if his sanity was slowly slipping away, and your concern for him would only grow stronger.

Unbeknownst to him, you started secretly following him, just to see that he spent most of his days in silently weeping while sitting in front of your mother’s grave.

«We were soulmates, how could it happen?» he would mumble occasionally, and although you had lost your own mother, you realized that you couldn’t ever imagine how could he have felt. Days turned into months, and months turned into years, until your father gently kissed your forehead on a rainy Tuesday morning, whispering a quiet «I love you.» before heading out without coming back home.

Needless to say, you were scared, worried, and you felt inconsolable; not even your beloved uncles managed to calm you down, although they were trying their best not to let you realize that they felt the same distress you felt.

Once again, days turned into months, and your father came back on a windy evening; there was a strange light in his eyes, as his body partially covered with blood, and a brand new cape – made with black feathers, was carefully draped over his shoulders. He affectionately caressed your cheek while apologizing for being away, and you leaned into his familiar and comforting warmth with a small nod, forgiving him.

«I missed you, don’t go away anymore.» you mumbled weakly, trying to ignore the small harpy’s skull carefully placed on his shoulder. «I promise.» he gently smiled at you.

That was the last night you saw your father’s heterochromatic eyes. Years went by, and the fact that his soul was slowly changing was more and more evident; he had abandoned his generous and bright spirit in order to hug a darker and unknown side of him, a side that no one – not even him, had ever known nor seen.

Eventually, your father and his friends decided to move towards the East, taking shield in an abandoned Castle outside the Reign’s territories, both not wanting to leave their friend alone, both wanting to keep an eye on him. Of course, driven by your sense of worry towards the person you loved the most, you followed them.

From there, as soon as Hongjoong found another one of those mysterious stones, things rapidly went downhill; eventually, your father had completely lost his soul to darkness, his only goal becoming the one to tear down the four divinities, which were silently watching over their children.

The King’s once bright red eye was now pitch black, as if it was a bottomless hole void of any kind of emotion; his power also drastically changed as well. Of course, he could still control fire, but if once the flames erupting from his hands were warm, bright, red and comforting, now they were as black as a starless sky, and the once burning flames he could control, now almost seemed as cold as ice.

With extreme discouragement, you noticed that your father started to lose his memories to darkness as well. To you, it was heart wrecking to see your uncles losing themselves to darkness as well, especially because you have never been able to do anything to help them.

Everything that happened recently, from the encounter with Garmoth, the talk you had with Chris and the fight you had with Yunho were enough for you to see things from another perspective: the Dragon was right.

It was crystal clear that Kzarka had consumed the soul of the people you loved, using their bodies as powerful vessels, and you were determined to do whatever it took to bring them peace.

«I know it sounds really weird,» Hyunjin hesitantly spoke after you had finished your story, «but I can testify everything she said.»

There were a countless of Gods and Goddesses during the Dawn of Time, not only four; they spent their days in bliss, shaping every part of the land that you were now walking on. They decided to create humanity out of kindness, just to gift them said land they had carefully created; children of Nature would have been rare, but they would have had elemental powers, unlike other human beings.

However, Kzarka - according to the harpy’s word, was the only God that managed to create himself out of humanity’s bad intentions; made from envy, greed and malevolence, Kzarka quickly convinced whoever was not a child of Nature to follow him, promising them power and everything anyone could have dreamed of.

Needless to say, the battle against Kzarka and the corrupted humans lasted for centuries, and sadly, Kzarka grew stronger as much as humans’ negative feelings increased: the effort to seal him had been unimaginable, and only four divinities were left.

«Many had lost their soulmates, and this is why some of us refused to be reborn in a human form.» Hyunjin confessed; back then, he had a soulmate as well, of course. A wild and tomboyish daughter of Storm, as unpredictable as the weather; he had befriended her back then, finding amusing the fact that she was incredibly shocked – and yet happy, to have a harpy as a friend.

However, back then Hyunjin failed to protect her, and the imagine of the lively and bright eyes of the daughter of Storm being clouded with darkness were sometimes still haunting his sleep.

«Nevertheless, the two of you better not try to ditch us to do stupid things.» Felix spoke, his gaze switching from yours to Hyunjin.

«We won’t, right princess?» the bard confirmed him.

«I know we’ll be facing an impossible task, but I would appreciate for you to come with me.» you truthfully said; the thought of facing Hongjoong alone was absolutely inconsiderable. Moreover, although you had made up your mind, you were still scared.

«It’s not like anyone of us had changed their mind.» Jisung unexpectedly spoke with a friendly smile, and the others agreed with him.

Eventually, you and Chris were left alone in your shared room, and now that your soulmate had excused himself to take a shower, you had the chance to glance around your surroundings, faintly illuminated by candles.  

A wooden bed and a wooden table stood in your shared room - which was big enough for the two of you to walk around without feeling suffocated; there was a small balcony as well, giving you a perfect yet bittersweet view on the city.

Chris was still taking a shower, since he left you go in earlier; «ladies first!» he said with his usual generous smile, and you eagerly took the opportunity to finally shower after days of constant travel.

Although you didn’t have a change of clothes for the night, you were glad about the fact that this was one of those inn that offered warm robes to the costumers, especially because you didn’t want to wear your usual clothes to go to sleep.

Leaning against the doorframe that led the room to the balcony, and gradually lost yourself in your thoughts, as your gaze was lost in the landscape of the sleeping village.

«Oh.» Chris’ surprised voice instinctively made your head turn towards him; he was wearing his robe as well, his hair still wet from the shower, and his clothes neatly folded in his arms. Chris was looking at you with a slightly surprised expression, of course not used to see you like this. «You look-»

«Well, you didn’t expect me to sleep with my everyday clothes.» you immediately cut him off, a mixture between feeling flustered and not wanting to hear that you looked “different”.

«-stunning. You look stunning.» Chris clarified, and if he was annoyed about you cutting him off, he didn’t show it. Immediately, you felt your cheeks heathen in a sudden and unexpected warmth.

«How are you feeling?» you questioned him as he walked over where you were, after placing his folded clothes next to yours. Since Chris wore his robe really loose, you could see not only the scar from Yunho’s swords, but you could glimpse other scars as well; instinctively, your mind wondered about how Chris’ naked body would look.

“I mean, I’m thinking about his scars”, you clarified to yourself, as if preventing your thoughts from straying to dangerous places.

«Definitely good,» he reassured you with a smile, «Hyunjin told me that I was basically about to die and – oh, were you there already when Lix punched me out of worry?» he questioned and you failed to hide your incredulous giggle.

«He was like “I told you not to make me worry like that anymore, you shark bait!” and punched me square in the jaw.» Chris laughed, tapping twice on the right side of his face.

«He did the right thing, you shouldn’t have done that.» you answered, and Chris simply sighed.

The Prince – still leaning against the doorframe, placed his hand around your forearm, gently pulling you towards him; you let yourself be embraced by him, not wanting to resist his ministrations. Although your hands were still crossed in front of your chest, Chris was now loosely hugging your waist, pressing your body against his; you were sure that, if not for your arms preventing it, Chris could easily feel how fast your heartbeat was.

«Why did you kiss me?» you mumbled, unconsciously glancing at his lips.

«Yeah, why did I?» Chris’ teasing behaviour was back, and you had to admit that if it usually got on your nerves, in that moment you managed to find it somehow alluring.

One of Chris’ hands travelled from your waist to your shoulder, and his touch seemed to set your skin alight that for a second, you wondered who the child of Fire really was; your soulmate had his eyes closed, as his lips were millimetres from yours.

«I love you,» he whispered, your faces so close that you could feel his lips gently brush against yours as he spoke; «I am utterly in love with you, soulmates or not.» he confessed, and you found yourself closing the little distance that remained within the two of you.

Unlike your first kiss, your lips were roughly moving against each other, your right hand loosely gripping the other’s hair and your left arm thrown around his neck, making you stand on your tiptoes in the process. Chris was firmly holding you against his chest with his right arm - helping you keeping your balance, while his left hand was sprawled on the side of your neck, occasionally tilting your head to deepen the kiss, as your mouth was occasionally swallowing his whimpers.

Somewhere along bold touches and heartfelt confession, the two of you had messily kissed your path to the bed, your robes easily discarded in the process.

Chris was laying under you on the soft mattress, and you were sitting on his lap; as he intertwined your fingers, he brought both of your hands over his head, making you lean over him due to inertia.

«I’m really new to this,» Chris’ hoarse voice confessed, «don’t go easy on me.» he mumbled, before he claimed your lips again.

His words hit you like a thunder out of the clear blue sky; you had your fair share of fun and intercourses when you were still living in the Cursed Kingdom, but you had never expected Chris to be still a virgin, especially when he was looking like that.

As if he could hear the metal gear spin in your brain, Chris chuckled against your lips. «Iliya Island is mainly populated by men;» he explained, «moreover, my first time being with my soulmate makes me by and large happier than finding a hidden treasure lost in the sea.» you instinctively scoffed at his words, just to hide the fact that your heart seemed to swell as his mismatched eyes were fondly gazing at you.

As your bodies connected, Chris’ left hand was constantly intertwined with your right one, and as your bodies moved together, you realized that no one else than your soulmate could have made you feel such intense pleasure. His caresses and touches were disconnected paths on your skin, leaving a trail of goosebumps everywhere he decided to touch you.

Chris was just like the sea, an addictive balance of unpredictable storms and calm tide pools; Chris was just like the sea, and you loved him.

Although your friends had different and weird habits, you definitely didn’t understand why they were laughing among themselves while throwing what looked like few leather pouches filled with money.

«What are they doing?» you questioned Chris, which was looking at them with an amused smile.

The two of you walked towards their table, happy that they had already ordered enough breakfast for the two of you as well.

«We had a bet few months ago.» he simply said, taking a seat next to Felix.

«A bet?» you asked, mirroring his action and sitting between your soulmate and Seungmin, surprised that they had enough time to think about bets, «what was it about?»

«Us being soulmates.»

Needless to say, you were glad about the fact that you were already sitting and not still walking, because you would have stopped in your tracks; Chris was looking at you with a mischievous smile and still, you noticed how it gradually grew fond as much as you were getting flustered.

«What did you bet on?» you found yourself asking as you felt your cheeks heathen.

However, before he could answer, Minho loudly called his name, before throwing him pouch full of money.

Chris winked at you, wordlessly giving you the answer you were looking for, and you shook your head, hiding your embarrassment behind an exasperated sigh.

CHAPTER V

«We’ll get caught.» you whispered without any intention to stop Chris as his lips hungrily moved against yours, his hands found their way on your hips, caging you against the kitchen table; instinctively, you put your hands on his shoulders, letting him easily hoist you up on the wooden surface. Chris’ breath faltered as you eventually started to bite a path on his neck, making you smile to yourself.

«Oh, for the love of the Gods,» Hyunjin’s exasperated voice made you and Chris slowly separate from each other while hiding an amused laughter. «What is it?» Seungmin shouted from the other room. «You burned the stew?» Changbin echoed. «We have to sanitize the kitchen, again,» the bard shouted back, «I almost miss the days where you acted like shy virgins.» you heard him mumble to himself, making both you and your soulmate erupt with laughter.

After you and your friends decided to stay together and complete the mission Garmoth had gave you, you also decided that instead of staying at an inn and pay for different rooms, the wisest solution was to rent a house for the months you needed to come up with an efficient plan – months during which Seungmin and Jeongin managed to turn Jisung and Minho into skilled fighters.

-

«What are you doing?» Jisung knocked to the open wooden door, catching your attention; you lifted your head from your hands, finally stopping burning holes into the alchemy book in front of you.

«Trying to come up with a solution,» you sighed, «I don’t think we can walk into the Cursed Kingdom with our weapons on sight.» Jisung pouted, lost in thoughts; he had an idea, but he was still hesitant to voice it out to you.

«Hannie, you can’t use magic, right?» you questioned him as soon as he took a seat in front of you, opening one of the books on the desk; he shook his head, saying that he could only do some basic healing spell, but nothing else.

Driven by hope, you lent him the enchanted glove Yeosang had made, just to write with ink the same symbol on the top of your hand; using magic, you created a small fireball, before locking your gaze with you friend’s.

«We could use alchemy to share our powers,» you explained that since you had the same symbol on your skin, he could try to summon it in the same moment you decided to lend your powers to him, however, despite multiple attempts, it didn’t work.

Eventually, during the days, Seungmin and Changbin joined the two of you, trying to come up with useful solutions.

«There is something we could try,» Jisung hesitantly spoke, playing with the hem of his shirt; your eyes – along with your friends’, were now locked on him, who seemed to shrink due to the unexpected attention.

With a deep breath, Jisung took enough courage to reach out for a blank paper and draw an alchemy symbol on it; it was exactly like the one Yeosang had created, however, it had few more lines. Aware about the fact that in alchemy, each symbol and each line position had a meaning, you felt colour drain from your face.

«Well, well.» Seungmin chuckled, incredulous. «Did you come up with it?» you questioned him, but Jisung shook his head. «Minho did,» he explained, «however, in Duvencrune it’s forbidden.» «What does it mean?» Changbin curiously asked. «Sharing one’s power.» Jisung dismissed. «In life and in death,» Seungmin added immediately, «Let’s suppose I could use Hyunjin’s power; I could have some real fun, but if I use too much, he could die.» Changbin whistled at the explanation, commenting it that it was indeed risky.

«There’s a way to make it less – less lethal.» Jisung stuttered, adding yet another line to the drawing he made; only then, he unbuttoned the top of his shirt, just to reveal the same drawing engraved on his skin.

Instinctively, the three of you tensed up in front of him; it was easy to figure out that Minho was the other one to have the same drawing engraved on his skin, even without asking.

«There’s a limit of the magic the other can summon.» Jisung explained. «Did you ever use it?» Seungmin asked, unsure, and Jisung nodded immediately. «Twice.» he clarified; since Jisung didn’t explain further, the three of you silently decided not to peer into his past more than needed.

The following day, Jisung’s proposal had been explained to the others, who surprisingly enough took it as a good news. «I think that’s the wisest solution, since I believe we’ll be forced to give up our weapons.» Chris spoke, and Felix agreed with him. «What if someone of us gets, you know – possessed?» Minho questioned, but Felix simply waved his head as if to dismiss his friend’s question. «In that case, just trust Hyunjin.» he said, without explaining himself. «I don’t think I understood how we plan to get into the Cursed Kingdom in the first place.» Jeongin innocently spoke, and you gently smiled at him. «Jeongin,» you sighed, «aren’t you and Seungmin bounty hunters from the Cursed Kingdom?» «Yes!» he immediately answered, «Oh-» he added after few seconds of silence.

To be honest, everything in the plan you and the others had come up with was risky, but it was the only way to enter the Kingdom through the front door without dying before reaching the front gate.

«The key is, we have to trust each other; always.» Minho explained. On a windy morning, you and the others found yourself skinning thin lines resembling an alchemy symbol on the top of each other’s hand, pouring few droplets of your mixed blood over it.

«Do we have to make one of those embarrassing oaths or something?» Seungmin questioned, and Minho simply rolled his eyes in a silent answer.

From that moment, everyone trained meticulously to master few magic spells without letting the children of Nature among you feel any fatigue. It was actually kind of fun, you had to admit to yourself, since not only you could create your own elemental weapon out of thin air, but you could combine the elements as well. In less than two weeks, you could swear that Jisung, Seungmin and Jeongin looked like real children of Nature.

Now that everyone had learnt how to use the technique you and Jisung came up with, there was only one problem; your eyes glanced at the sword that Garmoth gave you, leaning against the wall next to your friends’ weapons.

Of course, you couldn’t carry any weapon with you, so, how could you complete your very dangerous mission? A sigh from your left caught your attention; Hyunjin was intensely looking at you with his hands placed on his waist and somehow, you had the impression he could read your thoughts.

«He didn’t tell you?» of course, Hyunjin didn’t need your answer to know, since he had eavesdropped the whole conversation you and Minho had with the dragon. As you were about to ask for a clarification, Hyunjin walked towards the enchanted sword, before carrying it towards you; he unsheathed just a small part of it, the black obsidian blade emitting a faint glow.

«Give me your hand.» Hyunjin ordered, taking a hold of your index finger as soon as you outstretched your hand towards him; he firmly pressed your fingertip towards the blade, and you didn’t need to see it to realize that there were few droplets of your blood on it. Hyunjin sheathed the sword with a satisfied smile, before placing it in its original place.

«Call for it,» he instructed; furrowing your eyebrows in confusion, you tilted your head to the side, and he instinctively giggled at your expression, «think about wielding it, come on.»

Unsurely, you tried to do it; closing your eyes, you pictured the sword in your hand - however, nothing happened. As you opened your eyes, Hyunjin’s encouraging expression suggested you to try again, and you did.

It took few attempts and more concentration than you expected to, but in the end, you found your clenched fist adjusting to the perception of the hilt of the enchanted sword appearing out of nowhere in the palm of your hand.

«We should practice tonight as well,» Chris offered, glancing at the clear sky. «Absolutely not,» Seungmin scoffed, «a storm is coming up tonight.» «Whatever.» your soulmate answered, thinking about the fact that he was simply making up few excuses.

Even if no one payed attention to Seungmin’s words, Hyunjin’s head snapped towards him; how could the human sense a change in the weather before him? Hyunjin’s gaze lost itself in the glass of water in front of him, distant memories of a wild tomboy predicting storms slightly resurfacing.

«Changbin, I have a question but I don’t want to ruin your dinner.» Felix claimed the older man’s attention, who incredulously furred his eyebrows.

«If you doubt you can ruin it, you most definitely already did,» Changbin sighed, before allowing his friend to go on.

«You have a wife, but she’s not a children of Nature, am I right?» Felix questioned almost shyly, and Changbin’s face made it clear that he understood where Felix’s question was going.

«My relationship with Lea is definitely far from perfect,» Changbin sighed, «we have been together for so long – we fought a lot, we still fight sometimes over trivial things, and we mostly will fight in the future.»

«However,» he added before any of you had a chance to question him, «I don’t want this “soulmate” thing unless it’s with her. I’d rather spend the rest of my days listening to her nagging at me because I forget to do the laundry instead of having a peaceful life with someone made just for me, but someone who is not Lea.» Hyunjin felt shortly struck by those words, and his eyes unconsciously found Seungmin’s gaze, who was already looking at him; Changbin loved someone because he chose to, Hyunjin realized, meaning that Changbin was infinitely less of a coward than he was. Seungmin imperceptibly tilted his head to the side, silently questioning if he was okay, and Hyunjin hesitantly nodded at him in a silent answer.

“Loving someone who is not your soulmate, huh?” Hyunjin spoke; as he chewed on a small bite of food, he promised himself that if your group managed to come back alive from the Cursed Kingdom, he would have given it a try.

-

The trip to the Cursed Kingdom was way much longer and way more silent than you expected, and it wasn’t difficult to realize that everyone must have been incredibly nervous. «I believe in you.», were the last words Chris spoke to you before as planned, Seungmin and Jeongin had tied up everyone right before stepping into the woods right outside the Kingdom, but what no one expected, was to find the city deserted. The Kingdom’s gates had opened by themselves, and the path from the gates to the Castle’s entrance was completely clear. «It’s probably an illusion,» Hyunjin’s nervous voice suggested, «be careful.»

What your group didn’t know was that Hyunjin was right; Kzarka had waited for you to show up, and therefore, as soon as he felt the presence of you and your group walking the woods, he decided to make you reach the Castle as soon as he could, since he couldn’t wait to get rid of you.

«I suppose these are useless, now.» Seungmin spoke, untying your wrists as you were in front of the throne room. Before anyone could answer, the doors opened by themselves, revealing Hongjoong sitting on his throne while the others were standing still at his side. «Finally, the prodigal daughter is back!» Hongjoong announced, sitting up from his throne; you didn’t answer, simply clenching your fists. «Let’s just finish this quickly.» the King spat, and only then, Seonghwa and the others seemed to come to life.

One by one, your friends met their opponent.   Seonghwa stood proud in front of Hyunjin, while Wooyoung arrogantly faced Felix. San had his sword thrown over his shoulders, and he confidently walked in front of Changbin, while Yunho did the same thing with Seungmin. Yeosang quickly walked towards Jisung, and since he was the weaker out of the group, Chris immediately walked at his friend’s side. Jongho and Mingi respectively walked in front of Minho and Jeongin, leaving you to face Hongjoong by yourself. With a deep sigh, you imagined yourself wielding Garmoth’s sword, and it immediately appeared in your hand.

«Trying to face me again with that useless toy?» Hongjoong cooed, before charging at you. The fact that Hongjoong had always been an excellent fighter clearly turned out to be a problem, especially now that Kzarka made him even more powerful. His movements were fast and unpredictable, making it impossible for you to come up with actual moves in order to counter attack him; moreover, everyone pretty much had their hands full and therefore, you definitely couldn’t ask your friends for help. «You shouldn’t get distracted, Princess.» Hongjoong spat in a mocking tone, before moving your crossed swords to his left, only to effortlessly wave his right hand in mid-air, creating flying arrows of fire directed towards you. Instinctively, you closed your eyes, summoning a little of Felix’s power to create a shield right to protect yourself with: thin and flexible branches materialized in front of you, letting the fiery arrows only half pass, consequently preventing them from hurting you - and unfortunately hiding Hongjoong’s amazed gaze from your sight as well.

Through the eyes of your father, Kzarka immediately realized that you and your friends must have come up with some sort of forbidden technique that let you and your friends share your magic, and therefore, his plans immediately changed. If he had spent years waiting for the perfect moment to get rid of you, now he found himself thinking that maybe, you could have been more useful than Hongjoong himself. Since then, your fight with Hongjoong drastically changed. If at the beginning you were desperately trying to block and counter attack charged attacks, now you had to dodge as well; you didn’t know yet, but all Kzarka needed was a little droplet of your blood for his plan to work. A loud noise followed by your friends’ screaming voices caught your attention, and you immediately turned around fearing that something had happened to Chris. However, Hongjoong’s pitch black eyes were locked on you, as the blade of his sword was pressed against your neck.

«How stupid must you be to get distracted?» the stinging sensation right where the blade was pressed made you wince, but in that moment, you didn’t ask yourself why Hongjoong didn’t take advantage of that moment but let you move his sword with yours, preventing it from hurting you even further. Although you had been tightly gripping the helm of Garmoth’s sword, you highly doubted you could fulfil his order; Hongjoong’s attack made it clear for you that it was impossible to counter attack him, unless you could outwit him. However, how could you outwit the God of Corruption? The shouts of your friends fighting restlessly made it quite difficult for you to focus, however, you were the only one who could solve the situation. Rubbing the sleeve of your shirt against the fresh wound against your neck in the vain attempt to get rid of the itching sensation, you summoned once again a bit of Felix’s magic, creating a circular shield made of teak tree – thanks to the younger boy you learnt that it was a very resistant type of wood. Since then, you kept parrying Hongjoong with newfound determination, waiting for the perfect moment to strike; however, Hongjoong’s stamina never wavered, and since you summoned just a little amount of your friend’s magic, your shield was far from indestructible.

With your breath uneven and ragged, you were now kneeling in front of Hongjoong, feeling exhausted; glancing at what remained of your shield – now a thin and short column attached to your arm, you opened both your arms, surrendering. The King raised an eyebrow, only to smile victoriously as you threw Garmoth’s sword away from where you were kneeling, the clinging and metallic sound somehow calling for your friend’s attention. Through the eyes of your father, however, Kzarka had already seen through your actions, and decided to act accordingly.

Everything seemed to happen in slow motion, Hongjoong’s sword was raised in the air, and as soon as he was about to attack you, you abruptly stood up, hitting him in the stomach while using your shield. The King, however, had already deliberately let his sword fall on the ground, letting himself being stabbed by the enchanted sword you had materialized out of thin air.

When Hongjoong regained his consciousness, he felt as if he had been sleeping for years, and most importantly, he felt like he couldn’t remember anything about the dream he just had. There was a woman in front of him, her eyes filled with tears and her expression incredibly sorrowful, but what caught Hongjoong’s attention was the fact that her features looked incredibly familiar. It took him a second to realize that you were the stark copy of your mother, and therefore, you couldn’t be anyone else but his daughter.

Glancing towards the burning sensation coming from his chest, he noticed that there was a sword planted in his heart, meaning that his plan had failed; glancing around the unfamiliar room, he noticed that even if there were few boys standing far from his long time friends, they were standing still as well, imitating his stance while clutching at their own heart.  

«I know your face,» Hongjoong mumbled, the gentle whisper of your name making your thoughts dissipate in thin air; it was as the time had stopped all around you, and Hongjoong was looking as you as hesitantly as the day he had held you for the first time the day you were born. Quickly, you nodded your head at him, tears ungraciously falling from your eyes when he smiled, his eyes gradually returning to their original colour. «No, I-» you whispered nonsense words, gripping the helm of the sword in order to extract it with shaky hands; however, Hongjoong leaned against you with a shaky breath and placed a hand above yours, blocking your movement.

«Don’t,» he croaked, «you did well, it was my fault.» he slightly leaned back, his gradually unfocused eyes meeting your crying gaze. «Don’t cry, you did the right thing,» Hongjoong fatiguely whispered, his fingers gently wiping the tears falling from your eyes, «I’m proud of you - we all are.» as your gaze bore into his, your realized that you finally had everything you have ever wanted; you freed your father from his curse, but he couldn’t stay with you.

«Don’t leave me again.» you weakly pleaded, gripping at the fabric of his cloak that was draped on his shoulders, unsure that your whisper could reach his ears. «I’m really sorry, I- let’s meet again in another life, okay?» Hongjoong breathed, pronouncing every word with extreme difficulty as he was losing consciousness. Before his weight completely leaned against you, he managed to bring his right hand in front of his own heart, before extending his hand – now soaked with blood, towards yours in a very familiar gesture you had hoped to see again. «You, me and mom, we - let’s do this “family thing” right the next time we- we meet.»

Before you could answer, however, the sword started to glow brighter, forcing you to detach yourself from Hongjoong’s embrace due to the increasing warmth it was emitting. Within few seconds, Hongjoong vanished in a cloud of thin black dust, and the others simultaneously met the same end, their love for Hongjoong and their will to protect you being the last thing keeping them grounded to this life.

Judging by the deafening silence, it was clear that your friends had stopped fighting, however, no one dared to utter a word; whether it was out of empathy for your suffering, whether it was due to incredulity, each one of them had their reason. With a shaky breath, you kneeled on the floor as tears clouded your gaze, deject and sadness filling your senses; Chris had slowly started to make his way towards you, wanting nothing else to console you but however, Hyunjin’s hold on his arm prevented him from walking further.

«Stay away from her.» Hyunjin’s grip on the Prince’s arm tightened in a threating manner, and as the boys briefly exchanged a glance, Hyunjin pointed towards the two red glowing stones embedded on top of the throne, now glowing even brighter than before. «The plan is not to hurt her, but buy ourselves time.» Hyunjin spoke loud enough for only Chris and the others to hear. «Why should we hurt her in the first place?» Chris questioned the harpy with a confused frown. «Why should we buy ourselves time?» Minho echoed, nervously glancing around himself, briefly meeting Jisung’s tense gaze. As always, Hyunjin didn’t bother to answer his friends; he saw it happen countless times in the past, and therefore he already knew that Kzarka was about to possess your body.

If he were to be honest, Hyunjin had understood Kzarka’s plan in the same moment he noticed him cutting your skin after you summoned Felix’s magic; in that moment, Hyunjin used his powers to reach Karanda in order to ask for help.

Before any of your friends could elaborate another question to ask Hyunjin, a familiar cloud of familiar black smoke seemed to appear out of nowhere, shortly surrounding you and completely hiding you from their sight. Instinctively, you gripped your throat since you felt like you couldn’t breathe properly; it was an indescribable feeling of distress, and everything in your body started to hurt and feel unfamiliar. It was as if Kzarka’s powers were being absorbed in your body through the wound he had previously gave you, and although you wanted to frantically grab your head to make Kzarka’s obnoxious voice disappear, you couldn’t move a finger. «I’ll crush the soulmate first.» were the last words you heard Kzarka whisper through your mouth, before your world faded to black.

Chris and the others watched with horror as you stood up and stretched your arms in the air, as if you felt unfamiliar with your own body. «Let me rephrase my previous question,» Minho quickly walked towards Hyunjin, his eyes still focused on your movements, «buy ourselves time for who?» «I know it’s hard to believe me, but there’s a chance for us to defeat him.» Hyunjin hastily whispered, «Kzarka can’t shatter her soul in so little time, as for the rest, just trust me and let the wind lead.» «Are you done?» you bitterly questioned from where you stood; you lifted the palm of your hand, noticing that the flames you could summon were already almost black – much to Hyunjin’s surprise. Although he had witnessed countless times this moment, what Hyunjin didn’t know was that Kzarka had taken advantage of a perfect moment to possess your body; during your last farewell with Hongjoong, your soul was extremely vulnerable, making you the perfect target. «There’s this thing I’m really curious about,» you spoke again, and through your body, Kzarka tried to summon your friends’ powers; sadly, he couldn’t summon all of them at once, and therefore he realized that you must have meticulously thought about this. However, he could still have fun with it. «I’ll start with you, soulmate.» you spat, theatrically pointing the sword Hongjoong had thrown to the ground towards Chris, who was watching you with a wary expression.

The fact that Chris was partially blind was a secret that only you, Chris and Felix were sharing, meaning that now that someone else could deliberately read your thoughts, your soulmate was in danger.

Not wasting any more time in useless chatter, you attacked your friends, who were having quite some troubles to defend themselves, since you were much more powerful than you usually were. Moreover, Kzarka’s attention was deliberately focused on hurting Chris’, with the only purpose to shatter your soul even more and to quicken the process to seal it away for good. Busy fighting you back while protecting the Prince, your friends still did their best to listen to Hyunjin’s words and not to hurt you; sadly, the fact that you were sharing your powers could be very dangerous, especially when someone else was using too much of it.

Through your body, Kzarka alternately used your friends’ power to the point they were exhausted, kneeling on the floor in the vain attempt to catch their breath and trying not to faint. Since the children of Nature were not a problem anymore, Jisung, Seungmin and Jeongin clearly didn’t represent a threat. Summoning Chris’ magic, Kzarka used the same cursed spell that your soulmate had used against his soldiers few weeks earlier; there was water around Chris’ neck, and judging by his restless coughing it seemed to get tighter as seconds went by.

However, before Kzarka could actually finish his work, unfamiliar fingertips clouded his view, and your back found itself firmly pressed against someone’s firm chest.

«You should really learn when to give up.» Garmoth’s voice authoritatively spoke from behind you, and even if Kzarka tried to peel himself from the God’s firm hold, your body was too weak compared to his, and therefore, few seconds later, Kzarka’s consciousness faded to black, making yours resurface.  

«You really took your time to get here!» Hyunjin scolded the dragon as he quickly placed his fingertips against Chris’ neck, breathing a sigh of relief in the same moment he heard a weak pulse beat against his skin.

«You already know Kzarka’s power can shield my sight.» Karanda answered him, as she gracefully appeared out of nowhere. Garmoth – who had been erasing the traces of corruption from your soul, gently took his fingertips from your eyes in favour to hold your waist, gently shaking you a bit.

«Wake up, young flame.» he spoke, and you immediately reacted to his gentle words; you opened your eyes with a groan, your eyes quickly glancing around the room only to lock on Chris’ frame. Hyunjin had a hand pressed against your soulmate’s chest, meaning that he was healing him, but what happened? Did you hurt him? As to read your thoughts, Garmoth quickly explained to you what happened, reassuring you about the fact that Chris was still alive.

«What’s going to happen to Hongjoong?» you weakly questioned. «Nothing,» Garmoth sighed, and you could hear him smile through his words, «I’ll scold him for not trying to ask for help, but I promised Karanda to let him meet her daughter right away.» he explained. The Dragon let you go, tapping your back twice to give you the hint that he didn’t have anything to add, and you quickly closed the distance between you and Chris, kneeling next to him with a worried expression.

With a sad smile, Garmoth’s eyes momentary fell on Karanda, who was uninterestedly glancing at your friends; this scene was incredibly familiar to him, and the fact that everyone in your group managed to survive without getting hurt could be called a miracle. Karanda’s gaze locked with his lover, and she gave him a small smile, as to hint that she was thinking about the same thing as well.

Hyunjin was now smiling, amused at the fact that both the God of Fire and the Goddess of Air were standing in the room, and still, your only thought was to make your soulmate was okay.

Like a fairytale, Chris’ eyes opened in the same moment you touched his face; despite Hyunjin had told you repeatedly that he was okay, you couldn’t do anything but anxiously gnaw at your lower lip. «I’m sorry,» you hastily apologized as soon as he made eye contact with you; Chris’ simply answered with a reassuring smile, and you apologized again, your eyes burning with tears. Shaking his head, your soulmate simply lifted his hand in the air, gently placed it on your nape in order to lead your head in the crook of his neck. «It’s okay,» Chris whispered, «I knew it wasn’t you.» at his words, you silently let yourself cry against his chest.

«We’ll be taking these.» Karanda spoke, claiming both yours and your friends’ attention – who were now standing around Chris, after helping him get up again. Two precious looking caskets appeared in Karanda’s and Garmoth’s hands, and thanks to divine magic, the two glowing red stones embedded in Hongjoong’s thrones had been sealed. The two Gods simultaneously flicked the hand that wasn’t holding the casket, and it disappeared in thin air.

As soon as Karanda and Garmoth turned to praise yours and your friends work, you shortly found yourself without words. If both you and Minho had secretly commented about Garmoth looking handsome, you knew that the next topic would have been that he was nothing compared to Karanda. Everything in her appearance looked ethereal, from her white hair perfectly braided in a complicate hairstyle, to her white dress who seemed to be constantly swayed by a gentle breeze. Only then, you remembered Hyunjin’s words, and how he told you that Garmoth loved to spend his time among humans and therefore, that’s why he looked more like one.

«Before we go, there’s something we have to do!» Garmoth’s dazzling smile was back on his lips, as he cleared his voice, «The Cursed Kingdom has fallen, and the King has died.» he announced, his authoritative and booming voice echoing through the empty throne room.

Garmoth walked towards where you stood, before kneeling in front of you, «Long live to the Queen.» «No, I -» you tried to retort, trying to saying that you didn’t feel like you deserved the title, but your friends immediately eagerly imitated Garmoth’s action. Quickly looked around yourself, your friends – and your soulmate, had their head lowered towards the ground, while Karanda stood still, and simply hinting a nod with her head as soon as your gaze met.

«Kzarka’s curse doesn’t exist anymore, meaning that not everyone will remain here,» the Goddess spoke, «there will be much work to do, but I believe you have faced much more threatening dangers.» she hinted a smile, and you heard Hyunjin snort from his kneeling position.

Of course, unlike you, Hyunjin knew that Karanda could see few glimpses of the future, meaning that her words simply meant something along the lines of “your Kingdom will be great! good luck with this, kiddo!”, but he thought that you were lucky because it could have been worse, she could have spoken in riddles. With the last blessing of erasing completely the traces of Kzarka’s corruption, Karanda and Garmoth used divine magic in order to renew both the Castle and the Kingdom in a blink of an eye; now made of white marble instead of black lava stone, it was as if a new era was about to begin.

Of course, as you and your friends were having a private chat with the Gods, within the streets of the Kingdom everyone’s eyes were locked both on the sudden change of the Castle, but also on the strong yet gentle breeze that easily dissipated the thick layer of clouds that had prevented everyone from seeing the Sun from so many years.

After saying your farewells, Karanda and Garmoth headed towards the huge balcony adjacent to the throne room. «Hyunjin, come.» Karanda spoke without looking back, but Hyunjin clenched his fist, his eyes locked on the floor. «Karanda, I…» he tried, his voice barely above a whisper; immediately, your eyes fell on him, since you weren’t used to see Hyunjin like this. Karanda stopped, and briefly turned around; she attentively scrutinised Hyunjin’s face, before her lips erupted into a small, sad smile. «I believe you remember your oath,» she spoke, her body now completely turned towards him, «unlike them, you won’t grow old, is this what you want?» Hyunjin nodded, wordlessly, and Karanda sighed heavily; as if Garmoth was reading her mind, he chuckled briefly, but stopped as soon as the Goddess glanced at him. Karanda then sighed again, before closing the space between her and Hyunjin; she cupped his cheek, and since she was taller than him, she easily kissed his forehead. In the same moment Karanda’s lips brushed against Hyunjin’s skin, you saw it again; for a brief second, pure white feathers seemed to erupt from Hyunjin’s forearms, just as it happened when he used ancient spells to heal Chris. «Enjoy your life as a human, my friend.» Karanda spoke soothingly, and Hyunjin reached out with trembling fingers to hold her hands, which here still gently holding his face, «when the moment comes, I’ll undo the spell.» Although Hyunjin gave her a secure nod, his eyes were filled with tears; since his soulmate died, he never imagined that he would have sincerely wanted to live as a human - back then he even accepted the mission to watch over you without completely wanting to, and yet, there he was. Hyunjin had found friends he genuinely cared about, and the thought to leave them behind made him extremely sad and lonely. Garmoth smiled at Karanda as if she was the most beautiful entity he had ever seen, and immediately threw his arm over her shoulder in a gentle way, «You’re growing soft, my love.» «Shut up.» she weakly mumbled, aware that only her lover could hear the faint tremor in her voice. Karanda and Garmoth glanced at you and your friends one last time, and in the blink of an eye, both of them were gone.

Few days later, the light of the morning sun fell on Chris’ naked chest, as the two of you were cuddling in bed in your bedroom in the Castle; a blanket was draped over your naked bodies, covering your waists. Chris was absently stroking your arms, his eyes lost somewhere on the ceiling; you sighed, recalling the past days events. The Kingdom was a complete mess to begin with: as expected, many people had left as soon as Kzarka’s curse had vanished, and most importantly, the Kingdom’s reputation was terrible in all the known lands. How could you fix everything?

«What’s wrong?» Chris questioned you as if he could hear the gears in your brain spinning restlessly; with another sigh, you sat up, not having the courage to look at him in the eyes as you uttered your next words. «I think you should return to Iliya island.» you hesitantly spoke. «Oh.» was everything Chris said, his tone laced with sadness made it impossible for you to think you could face him; sadly enough, unlike the previous night, you had completely forgotten about the huge mirror standing in front of your bed, Chris’ gaze locked on your eyes through the mirror with a completely different expression compared to your previous nights’ activities. «Don’t get me wrong,» you immediately added, afraid that he could take your words in the worst way, «I love you, and I would definitely love to spend the rest of my life with you, but - I feel like it would be wrong to be happy when the people living here probably are not, and…»   «I think I understand where you’re going,» Chris sat up as well, quickly positioning himself sitting behind you so that he could cage your body and make you feel safe, «this is why, I’m telling you to think about your Kingdom - I probably would have said the same if I were in your place. I’ll wait for you.»

Finally, you met Chris’s gaze through the mirror, and once again, what you found in it were absolute affection and sincerity. «What if you get tired of waiting?» you furrowed your eyebrows, holding his hand a little tighter. «Sweetheart, we’re soulmates,» he gently chuckled, placing a gentle kiss on your shoulder, «I could and I would never turn my back on you, nor I will get tired of waiting. However, your citizens probably will.» you listened to his words, glad about the fact that not only he understood what you meant but he was also trying to give you some useful advice as he had previously done. «Although I really pains me to part from you, I want you to be with me because you feel ready for it; moreover, leading a country is not easy. Nevertheless, I’m sure you’ll make this country so prosperous it will rival the Capital.» «Thank you.» you breathed out. «No need to thank me, sweetheart.» Chris hummed again your skin, placing another kiss on the crook of your neck.

«Hey, Chris?» you called out again, and you felt your soulmate place his chin on your shoulder, tilting his head, «I’m not sure I told you yet, but I really - I love you.» Through the mirror, you could see Chris blush from his cheeks to the tip of his ears. «I can’t believe you confessed before me!» he shyly hid his face behind your nape, before eventually adjusting your positions in bed so that you were now laying down and he was partially hovering above you. «I love you too, my Queen.» he murmured against your lips, before capturing them in a heated kiss.

EPILOGUE

There was a Castle that stood tall at the world’s end: made of white marble and golden amber, its authoritative appearance was enough to make people admire everything about who lived in it and within its increasing territories. The dark and thick layer of clouds that for decades has hovered on top of the Kingdom had dissipated completely, and the citizens’ tales spoke about how the Queen was blessed by the Goddess of Air and the God of Fire to the point that occasionally, clouds only generated above fields just to enable crops and livestock to flourish. Strolling from town to town, Garmoth proudly overheard people talking about his daughter’s work. The Cursed Kingdom had been in ruin for years, and its conservative nature had made it self-sufficient; however, since the Fallen King’s daughter has inherited the throne, it took her four years to make her Kingdom bloom so prosperously to rival the others.

Of course, you didn’t do everything on your own; when Chris and Felix decided to return to Iliya Island, Jeongin and Seungmin decided to go with them, while Hyunjin, Jisung, Minho and Changbin – and therefore Lea, moved in the Castle with you. Although no one among you had the right knowledge about what could be needed to rule a Kingdom, you managed to figure out a way to do it out of spite. «Think about the nobles in the Capital gossiping about us,» Lea giggled as she helped you dress up, «I swear, I’d open a brothel just to have a detailed description of what their incredulity looks like as they say that we’re even richer than they are.» she chanted to herself, and you refrained from the instinct to laugh with her, since she was tying up the laces of your corset. Most importantly, you were definitely too nervous to laugh, since today was a day so important you swore could even outshine the day of your coronation. «What if he doesn’t like me anymore?» you whispered to yourself, however, Lea abruptly stopping her movements meant that she heard you. «Sweetie, we don’t do that here,» she turned you around, before cupping your jaw, «moreover, you’ve exchanged letters for four years, I bet he loves you to the Sun and back.»

Of course, few hours later, you found out that Lea was indeed right – as always. The moment of your reunion, your eyes were locked on Chris so intensely that you almost choked on your water when Minho asked you if you saw Seungmin and Hyunjin peck each other's lips.

-

Standing on the balcony attached to your room, you were leaning against the railing as Chris’ arms were caging your body as his hands were leaning over it; you wrapped your arms around his waist, realizing that you incredibly missed his touch during these years.

If possible, Chris looked even more handsome, his jet black hair was longer, naturally curling itself in soft waves you loved to run your fingers through. «Chris, I-» you hesitantly spoke, losing yourself in the affection that his eyes showed you; you gently lifted your hand, your fingertips brushing against his cheeks ever so lightly. Taking a deep breath, every sign of hesitancy seemed to disappear from your soul, as Chris encouragingly smiled at you, silently telling you that he was listening

That was it, you thought, that was the life you could finally feel worthy to live. «Chris, will you marry me?» you asked, however, Chris’ smile completely fell, making your heart sink. All of a sudden, Chris’ face erupted into an incredulous smile, accompanied by an incredulous chuckle; he easily entangled himself from your arms, just to gently wrap his right arm around your neck, tugging you towards him. «Again? I can’t believe you proposed first, as well!» he gently rubbed at your head, like he had done few times during your travel, «I was trying to build up my courage to propose to you so hard that Felix threatened to throw me overboard!» you found yourself laughing along him, your heart finally at ease.

-

«I’m getting married,» you timidly admitted to your parents’ tombstones, «and I wish you were here with me.». All of a sudden, a gentle breeze disheveled your hair, and a weird sensation of warmth seemed to cover your cheek for a little while; it lasted for few seconds, just for everything to vanish as nothing happened. The trip to Velia was something Chris had predicted, since he knew that your mother’s tombstone was in your home-town, and the fact that you had buried one of Hongjoong’s sword and his favourite armor next to her was something that he found out thanks to the letters you exchanged.

Chris’ steps echoed on the gravel, before he kneeled next to you; it was just like that time, many years ago, when Chris offered you his coat in the clumsy attempt to console you. This time, Chris was looking at you with a serene and happy expression - matching yours; he tilted his head quizzically, and you nodded at him before getting up, brushing the dust from your clothes.

«Let’s go,» you sighed, «I promised Felix he could choose the flowers.» «Oh,» Chris giggled, «good luck with finding your way to the altar.» he joked. «No need,» you immediately retorted with a chanting tone, earning a questioning look from your partner, «we’ll find our way together.» Chris gaze softened, and he reached out to intertwine his fingers with yours as the two of you were walking to the carriage waiting for you. «Of course,» he echoed, «we’ll find our way together.»

all works © lettersfromaphrodite

Do not modify, repost, translate or plagiarize my stories. I only publish my works on tumblr & AO3.

↳ BACK TO NAVIGATION 💫 ↳ BACK TO MASTERLIST 🔮

[kocherry]

⟡ Truthful Adoration in False Illusions ⟡

Pierro x Isekai!Reader

(Part 1/3) (Part 2/3 is here now :>)

I am really nervous to post this fanfic since this is only for my self-indulgence but I decided to share it with everyone. It has been years since I've actually written a fanfic this long.

In all honesty Pierro really did a number on me ever since the Winter Night's Lazzo trailer. Genshin really needs to release more dilf characters huhu. Aaaand this fic is inspired by numerous works but especially two fanfics namely:

Petty Desire by @shumidehiro and Disjecta Membra by @jessamine-rose (Please check them out they're fantastic writers!)

This is only the first half of my Pierro x Isekai!Reader because it'll be a hassle to read 30k words if I combined it all in one post :> Also please keep in mind that this is pre-released characters.

TW: Vomitting, Mental Instability, Mentions of Suicide, Death, Dottore, A lot of Holding Hands

< 15k words under the cut for Prologue, Acts: I, II, III >

⟡ Prologue ⟡

‘I am so pathetic.’

That is what you thought as you were dying in the sea of flames that consumed your entire house.

Perhaps coming back to save those thesis papers isn’t worth it. In hindsight you were a troubled adult that struggled between having a job and getting your own degree. Truly your ambition may not be that big but all you ever wanted is to get a better paying job.

If you had maybe your family would've been prouder of you.

The tears you shed dried up from the fire, your vision slowly made its way to the walls of your room. Your lips weakly smiled at the sight of your favorite character from Genshin Impact smiling down at you. Their hand is directed to your direction as if wanting you to take them.

How you wish you could just do that… you didn’t want to die yet... if only your favorite could save your life. Perhaps being inside the game wouldn't be so bad if you were there.

•••••

Gasping for air, sitting upward, letting out a strangled cough, the sun shined directly into your eyes. Looking around and noticing that this wasn’t a burning bedroom anymore. But instead surrounded by a bright blue sea, legs dipped slightly into the soft waves of the water. Back laid on the grainy white sand, it was more comfortable than dying on your bedroom floor.

First things first... you look at your hands realizing that you weren’t dreaming.

‘How the fuck did I not get any burned scars?’

You place a hand on your cheek then placing them in front of you counting them one by one, “Holy shit I'm still alive...” Then by the spaces between your fingers you had realize that you are not alone.

Your entire body froze at the sight of a silver haired older man with his face covered in half by a black mask. He stood tall, his figure loomed over you and his broad figure blocked your view of the sea. His diamond shape eye stares at you with such intensity that it made the sand you lay in start to melt. 

Well, you got your wish to be in Genshin Impact, but at what cost? Well for starters this person in front of you is definitely not Paimon. Wait scratch that thought... he is by far the scariest man you have ever seen in your life.

There is no mistaken it, this person is the Jester, the Director of the Fatui Harbingers.

The outfit he wore isn’t quite different from the trailer. He just didn’t have the Fatui cloak draped around him.

“You're—wait wait don't kill me I'm not a threat!” You yelled at him with a hoarse voice, it’s as if your body is exhausted. Though you were surprised that your elbows could prop itself up. 

“Princess (Y/N) I advise that you remain calm as you had just woken up after falling from Starsnatch Cliff.”

The Jester's frightening deep voice startled you badly. Honestly at this point you thought that this was all just a dream. Yet reality starts to sink in when your mind started to comprehend what he just said.

Wait a minute…

What did he just call you?

And did he say you just fell from the god damned famous wishing spot?! 

“Princess (Y/N), do you not remember who you are?”

Ignoring the Jester, ran pass by him to see your own reflection in the water. 

The reflection of your image became clear, the first thing you saw is that your eyes had diamond shaped pupils. You didn't look like yourself anymore like back in the real world. If this is how you look and if Pierro called you a Princess then there is no mistake that you have been reincarnated into another body.

When you wished to be in the game... Being the Princess of Khaenri’ah isn't what you had wanted. You only wanted to live in the game after seeing the smile of a poster of your favorite Genshin Impact character. 

However… seeing that you were in the first spot where the traveler meets her traveler buddy…

You definitely in Mondstadt.

But the one who greeted you isn't of cute floating little girl.

Now you just have more questions than answers. Turning to the Director of the Fatui Harbingers with a pursed lip, you asked: "How many years has it been since Khanri’ah’s downfall?" Your question is difficult to say but the older man seems to be indifferent by it.

"...a century." 

‘Shit so I'm 400 years early?!’ You bit your lip to conceal your bewilderment. “I'm afraid... I could not recall anything Lord Jester.” You bat your lashes at him, you didn't pass in feigning innocence but your diamond shaped pupils were wide in fear.

Pierro’s eye narrowed down at you, he certainly didn't expect you to treat him like a stranger. Though he didn't voice out his worries just yet... after all he could forgive this minor inconvenience since you had been in a coma for a while.

“It is understandable that your memories are not intact.” For now, he had seemed to believe (more or less going with the flow) with your lies. “Since you had woken up from the fall, I advise we must go to the camp and examine if there are injuries that needs to be well taken care off.”

The Jester’s show of concern surprised you, his tone shifted into a much softer tone. Somehow you could not believe how utterly different he is from the Winter Night's Lazzo trailer. He is rather calm and gentle so far, although if looks could kill, you would be dead by now.

You gulp a bit, perhaps you ought to just listen to him. But what if the Princess has bad blood with the Fatui? The Jester certainly didn't tell the reason why she fell from the cliff.... what if the Fatui did it because you weren’t of use to them anymore? Would they dispose of you again? Would you be subjected as Dottore's lab rat? 

“Alright I guess I can come it's not like I have any other choice, right?” You feel utterly helpless by asking that, it’s as if you had any other option at all. 

Though you did remember that some of the Fatui do have compassion. However, that may not be true for most of the Harbingers. But there is no way you were going to die again.

Not on your favorite game.

You place a hand over your chest, eyes determined instead of feeling hopelessness. This was not the moment to show the Jester that you were a weak-minded fool. “I may forget who I was but if I couldn’t remember a century of my life. Since I'm still alive, perhaps I can repay your kindness Lord Jester.” ‘Yes, this is utterly a good idea, offering yourself for the Fatui how dumb can you be?!’ You let the second sentence be an afterthought.

The Jester paused for a while, he certainly didn’t expect that you would be so calm. Anyone would start to break down if they suddenly lost their memories and to find out shortly that your home country, Khaenri'ah, has fallen. Perhaps he had underestimated how you value your nation or that you already had come to peace that the nation would fall someday. After all, the Princess of Khaenri'ah is the one who witness how the sages and King Irmin refused to heed to his warnings. 

Either way it didn't matter anymore for what you thought. He could tell that there is no lies when you told him that you couldn't remember the past century you had lived in his care. 

“Lord Jester...?” You ask after realizing he went silent for a minute.

The Jester snapped out of deducing what was happening. He certainly thinks that this is too much of a troublesome situation he is in. “Princess, I would have to consult your condition to a medic. I will have the soldiers immediately prepare our voyage back to Snezhnaya. Meanwhile it is on your best interest to cooperate so that you can recuperate from your memory loss.” When he suggested this, all you could do is nod and follow after him when he held out his hand towards you.

Somehow a flash of red encased your vision and the burning wallpaper of your bedroom is in sight. Then a poster of your favorite Genshin Impact character didn't burn among the rest.

Was that really what happened?

Wait why is the Jester the one holding out his hands?

“Or do you need more time to rest in the city of Mondstadt?” He asks though his tone shifted into a softer one, yet gaze is still intense as ever. 

But much to your relief his hand is still open for you to take and it would seem your presence is accepted... for now at least.

This time you are able to place your hand to the one holding it out to you. Taking note how warm his hands were as he held yours.

Oh by the way...

This is a story after I died in the real world then getting isekai'd into Genshin Impact but why the fuck is the Director of the Harbingers is the one who greeted me instead of Paimon?!

⟡ Act I: Masquerade ⟡

Masquerade! Paper faces on parade... Masquerade!

Hide your face, So the world will never find you! Masquerade!

Every face a different shade... Masquerade!

Look around - There's another mask behind you!

•••••

The lush green of trees, bushes, and plants.

The river stream flowing from the rocks above.

The Barbatos Statue of the Seven stood tall in the middle of Starfell lake.

And the fake blue sky had the sun giving light to Mondstadt’s environment made the scenery quite beautiful. Truly is a wonderful sight for any daily Genshin Impact player seeing it with their own eyes in real time. Being able to walk into the nation of Mondstadt, the beginning of the game, is truly a good part of this isekai fanfic.

However, the only downside is that the Director of the Fatui Harbingers is the one who is accompanying you. Perhaps it wasn't what you had wished for but besides him... nothing could ever ruin your day.

Maybe except for the fact that you've actually reincarnated into the body of a Princess of Khaenri’ah.

At least together with Pierro you were at least able to travel safely since he avoids monster camps and he even lend you his coat since the clothes when you woke up is quite a mess. If you were alone, you would’ve fought a hilichurl with a rock or a stick then die pathetically.

“Wait a second Lord Jester.” You halt in following after him, there is something on your mind for what he said earlier. “Are we really going back Snezhnaya immediately? I don't even remember living there or even meeting you at all.”

The Jester once again narrows his eye towards you. It's as if he's analyzing the way you would act. Whether it be talking, walking, or even looking in awe with your surroundings. You felt bare in his gaze and yet you didn’t find his constant staring hostile.

He then lets out a deep sigh after realizing that you had honest reactions of having a memory loss. He reluctantly let’s go of your hand, “Princess (Y/N) you were under my care after Khaenri’ah has fallen. Three months ago, you left Snezhnaya for a diplomatic mission in Sumeru. You never had reported back and we traced that you’ve been in Liyue, Inazuma, and finally...” He pauses for a while not wanting to overwhelm you with information.

“Found me in Mondstadt where I fell from Starsnatch Cliff?” You finished his sentence but wanted to ask how did you fall but didn't since the Jester wouldn’t probably disclose that information.

The Jester pursed his lips he knew that lying would be terribly bad for his image towards you especially at this stage of your so-called memory loss.

At this point, you didn't trust him enough to lead you to camp without so much doubting his words. “The Fatui does not take traitors very lightly, you may leave if you wish so. However, beware that there is no place in Teyvat that you could hide.” The harsh glare from his deep blue eyes made you shiver.

‘What the fuck did the owner of this body do?!’

You whisper yell at yourself after hearing what he had said. Out of all the people you could isekai into, it's someone who did the Fatui wrong. And so, without any choice you continue to follow Pierro to the camp.

This time you didn't feel the warmth of his hand on yours.

Although it is kind of weird that he even held your hand in the first place.

‘Maybe he's trying to gain my trust since he thinks can't remember anything?’ You ask yourself that, no answer came into mind of course. In all honesty you wanted to tell Pierro that you were not the Princess. That seems like a bad idea now since the Fatui might misinterpret it as the Princess trying to escape from her crimes against them. Or worst-case scenario they might give you up to Dottore for further examination.

You shudder at the thought.

•••••

Okay maybe you were just being paranoid because you were definitely not treated as a prisoner when the Jester brought you to a Fatui camp. Instead of being put into handcuffs, the soldiers just served you a warm cream stew soup and chicken skewers as a side dish. Then you were also the only one inside the tent slightly shivering but with the coat that the Jester lend to you earlier… at least you feel warm and covered.

Not that you were ungrateful or anything but he literally just called you a traitor and now you were getting away with it?

‘Oh shit, what if he’s just making sure that we would lay low and not attract any surveying knights?’

You stare at the Jester talking to the Fatui agents who were preparing a small carriage and the horses which concludes your disappointment not being able to camp outside.

“Princess, you haven’t finished your food, do you feel ill?” He caught you peeking at the slight opening of the tent, although he immediately ignored you after asking that question. “Get the Cicin Mage, she needs a fresh change of clothes.”

“Wait Lord Jester-”

The tent opened itself but it wasn’t Pierro anymore, it was an Electro Cicin Mage that greeted you as she zips up the entrance of the tent. “Greetings Princess (Y/N), since we are both women, Lord Harbinger permits me to assist you.” She is holding a clean and brand-new clothing, it’s not like what you had seen on Sneznhayan NPCs.

The clothes look like what noblewoman in Snezhnaya would wear. Its shade matches the shade of your favorite color and it would help in making your skin tone shine as well. Although there is a fluffy coat made from a wolf’s fur that would cover your skin.

“Thank you it looks beautiful Miss uh… what’s your name?” You accepted the clothes of course delighted it matches your aesthetic but you also want to know the Electro Cicin Mage’s name since she would be with you on the journey back to Snezhnaya.

“…” She didn’t react and you don’t know what expression she makes behind her mask.

“Oh, are you not allowed to tell?” You ask tilting your head slightly.

“Forgive me Princess (Y/N), I just find it hard to believe that you had lost your memories but you may call me Natalia.” The Electro Cicin Mage replied her nonchalant tone retained.

“I like your name, Natalia.” You gave her a sympathetic smile thinking that she may have known the Khaenri’ahn Princess. “I can change by myself, since I don’t feel really weak but uh thank you for the sentiments.”

Natalia just nodded as she turns around while you change into a much cleaner and fresher clothing. After a few minutes, you tapped her shoulder then unzipped the tent.

“Alright I’m done changing, so when are we leaving?”

The Jester is the only one outside as the other soldiers along with Natalia who hurriedly went to help were still arranging the carriage ride (probably into Mondstadt’s city). “You seem to be more complacent Princess (Y/N), earlier today you did not desire to be return in Snezhnaya.” He raises an eyebrow curious about your sudden desire to leave.

“Well not that I have any choice, plus… my life would also be in danger if I won’t be with the Fatui.” You say that fact first of course but seeing how his face starts to contort into a frown you immediately backed up your poor choice of words. “Oh Lord Jester, you may call me just (Y/N), princess is just an empty title now.”

Your request is simply more personal and despite the fact that may wear the Princess’ mask, you were still (Y/N) by heart. Being called a princess from a nation that has been obliterated is merely an insult to the surviving people of Khaenri’ah, and the Jester is of course one of them.

“Very well (Y/N) we shall sail ten days from now, you may extend your recuperation in my estate in Snezhnaya.” Yet somehow the Jester is indifferent from the request, he focuses more on your well-being. “You need not to call me formally by title, when it’s only just the two us, you may call me Pierro.”

Now that you are actually processing that you were inside the gacha game you had often played…

Did your ears betray you? You certainly are surprise by Pierro’s request as well.

Did your eyes betray you? You saw his lips turn into a soft and small smile but it disappeared quickly as it came.

Did your mind betray you? You just spent five hours in this world with him and even when he calls you a traitor, he does not treat you like one. You would think that he only keeps you because you’re probably a useful character and yet you did not feel used.

It feels the opposite, you were using him just to be comfortable in your isekai experience.

Perhaps you were not the only one parading in this masquerade of lies, the Jester still has not disclosed his relationship with the Princess. If he truly calls her a traitor then why do you receive warm food and getting assigned Natalia to be your personal body guard/helper?

“Shall we head to the City of Mondstadt?”

Maybe the answer would come by another time, you were too busy taking his gloved hand once again.

•••••

9 days later…

Teyvat is quite different in the perspective of being with the Fatui. Aside from the indifferent attitudes of the soldiers, you were at least compensated in being able to explore the City of Mondstadt for nine days now. Of course, Natalia is the one who is your bodyguard or personal assistant? Whatever she is, it’s still kind of annoying how she would always follow you everywhere even staring at you intensely while you go to the comfort room.

At this point you didn’t think much about your privacy, if you did it again… Pierro will beat your stubbornness with his logical expiation about how your health needs to be monitored… blah blah blah you stopped listening to him since you were distracted by the smell of Mondstadt’s local foods.

And speaking of the Jester, he hasn’t shown his face around for two days now and tomorrow is your last day in experiencing Mondstadt and you’ll probably never come back here again. Even though you were satisfied with the tour, you kind of wish you could glide everywhere and collect mushrooms on top of rooftops. Or maybe even blow dandelion on top of the Barbatos statue in front of the Favonius Cathedral.

“Lady (Y/N), you’re spacing out again do you need to rest?”

“Ah no worries, Natalia I was just wondering if I could do a summersault if I could glide from the hand of the Barbatos Statue.”

“That would be unfortunate Lady (Y/N), your neck may break if you fail.”

Natalia’s dark and dry humor is what keeps you sane sometimes, but despite the fact that she is growing into you then vice-versa she still won’t listen to your requests.

“Hey Natalia,” You call out her name softly

“Yes My Lady?” The maid immediately replied.

“Uhm it’s quite alright, you really can call me just (Y/N).” You have been tirelessly asking everyone to drop the lady title and especially to Natalia for the last six days.

“It is within the interest of the Jester that you would be addressed properly. After all you are still recuperating from your fall in Starsnatch Cliff and could not remember the past century that you had lived with him.” And of course, Natalia’s answer is the same as always.

Although you find it odd that the daughter of King Irmin would be with the Jester. From the lore you had read, he didn't gain the favor of the sages and royalty about his warnings.

Ah maybe you two were friends before in Khaenri’ah.

That’s literally the only explanation you could really come up with.

Disregarding those serious topics, at this point you have given up hope that Natalia would call you by your name instead. So, you grabbed her hand surprising her a bit since she has been given strict orders not to touch you. “Let’s go to a tavern, I want to talk to you like a friend I’m quite tired of not being able to communicate properly with anyone who see themselves beneath me.” You gave her a pout to emphasize that you did not enjoy having someone to treat you as their superior.

“I have nothing to share Lady (Y/N), all my life I only have been a Fatui soldier, so you might just be listening to a teacher instead of a friend.” She replied with a deep sigh knowing she would have to give in.

“If I am to learn, shouldn't I be hearing it from someone who lives in Snezhnaya? I do want to learn more about the country that I somehow forgot in remembering…. in your own perspective of course." You were looking at her with puppy eyes hoping she would be okay with your request.

“Very well ask away Lady (Y/N) but no alcoholic drinks.” Natalia replied which made you smile.

•••••

“...and that is why we would always follow the Tsaritsa. She does not need to be alone in the war against the Heavenly Principles.” The way Natalia spoke is as if she had lived through a rough life then having a place in the Fatui. Although she censored a lot of things related to the organization meaning that Pierro might have been the one to order her in withholding the information regarding the Fatui.

Again, you were not interested in them, you were always curious about the remaining three unreleased nations. Snezhnaya presented itself as available to learn so why bother hiding your curiosity about the nation that has a bigger role in the game.

It is most interesting that despite their differences and ailments towards one another they always have one thing that they agree. All soldiers in the game speak highly of their loyalty to the Tsaritsa and Natalia isn’t an exception.

“A most delightful insight Natalia!” ‘Although it got boring and I zoned out a bit but still…’ “I admire your passion to your archon.” Despite being satisfied with your curiosity about the Tsaritsa, you were distracted by more important details. Such as the relationship of the Khaenri’ahn Princess to the Director.

Every time you think about him, your stomach starts to sink in with heavy guilt, that’s what you had noticed for the last nine days. And earlier you did come up that maybe they were friends since he treats you kindly… now your curiosity got the better of you. With a gentle clap you brought Natalia’s attention to you.

“So now tell me more about the Jester.”

Natalia seemed surprised by the sudden shift of your mood and the soldiers that is nearby the tavern doors perked up with the mention of their boss.

Suddenly the air felt colt despite the tavern having a hearth that continuously producing heat.

You could tell you made a mistake by showing that you are aware of your situation as a prisoner. You held both of your hand up, “Ah I see he made sure that I would not run away by being friendly. Ha! I'm fully aware that the Jester is keeping me as a prisoner. Besides if I prove myself that I can cope in this foreign country I can be some use, right? In that way...” Your tone is soft and gentle, which made Natalia flinch, she isn't really good with dealing with such a venomous hiding in the softest expression.

“...I can slap Pierro in the face that he made a mistake in imprisoning me!”

Natalia takes everything she thought of you as a gentle soul with a motherly personality, you were like a wild hilichurl who always have an unpredictable behavior.

“U-Uhm L-Lady (Y/N). you should not talk about the Jester like that!” She stuttered not wanting to get into trouble as she stares at the space behind you that is now occupied by the said person.

“And why I shouldn't I? The Jester is not even here, besides he's busy with the meeting between him and other harbingers." You cross your arms but then saw the maid’s eyes that is staring at the space on your right. You suddenly became extremely nervous, "Oh shit... he's right behind me isn't he?”

“I was always behind you all this time Lady (Y/N).”

‘Oh.’

‘Ohh..’

‘Ohhh…’

‘I fucked up lol.’

Natalia excused herself while you turn around to face the Jester. He didn't seem amused nor does he look annoyed, he just stares at you blankly.

On the other hand, the Jester is actually surprised by your behavior (deep inside his blank stare), it honestly contradicts with how he viewed you as before. Although despite the fact that you are a Princess of Khaenri'ah, he already could tell that you already know your place. You were really going to play hard to get at his attempts of being patient towards you and in all honesty, he really didn’t have any ulterior motives… maybe he has but…

Now you just threatened to slap him, it amuses him.

“Such attitude is unbecoming of a royalty such as you Lady (Y/N).” Well despite his inner thoughts, his expression is somewhat annoyed by what he had heard.

“If you scold me, can you at least drop the formality? I’m definitely not a Lady or anything.” Honestly if they call you Lady (Y/N) again for the nth time, there is always the temptation to slap Pierro for real.

“For some reason the title isn’t really farfetched to the Princess title, I don't know who she is nor do I care to become her.” Although it is pretty convenient that you share the same name as the original Princess.

Indeed, you looked like the Princess of Khaenri'ah who wasn't even mentioned in game. However, there were features that you could see yourself as. If not for the diamond shape pupils you would look no different from the real world.

“Very well, (Y/N), I should have not dishonored the drop of the titles when we are together.”

Your ears perked up by the sound of the Jester's voice saying your name for the first time since the day you met him. “It would seem that I underestimated how much you had remembered. You are more perceptive than I thought. So, I am going to be honest with you…”

‘Wait is he going to really discuss this with a lot of Fatui soldiers and Natalia overhearing us?’

“There are traces that you recently used the Art of Khemia before you jumped from Starsnatch Cliff.”

⟡ Act II: Music of the Night ⟡

Night time sharpens, heightens each sensation

Darkness stirs and wakes imagination

Silently the senses abandon their defenses

Helpless to resist the notes I write

For I compose the music of the night

•••••

You were taken aback from what Pierro had said, the Art of Khemia is now the lead reason to why you were isekai'd to this world.

‘Alchemy that is said to be the biggest factor in the fall of Khaenri’ah. So that means the princess might've been afraid of dying but the question is... did we actually just switch places?’

‘Wait why would she even be afraid if she willingly jumped…?’

‘Fuck her and fuck this situation holy shit…’

You shook your head now is not the time to be distracted. You need to know if you are allowed to investigate if you can go back to the real world. “Wait are you afraid of what I can do? Are you not also waging war against Celestia itself so why be cautious of me performing alchemy?” The questions were already answered because by the look in the Jester’s eye.

It would seem that he disapproves of what you plan to ask next.

“I had not lied to you that you jumped intentionally, you wanted to die, and it is merely your own consciousness that responded to your will to live that made you use alchemy as a last resort.” The Jester seems to fixed on the idea that you know the alchemy. “Art of Khemia is forbidden to use, I do not wish to awaken the Heavenly Principles, at least not yet...”

‘Of course, not yet... the Gnoses would only be collected 400 years from now. Great just great, I might be fucking stuck with him for a while!’ You shifted your thoughts to that part and not the fact that the Princess tried to kill herself.

Despite the desire to actually just tell Pierro the truth about yourself. It would seem that it’s a dangerous thing to do. He hates the Heavenly Principles and from what you had read in the Enkanomiya story quest they were also descenders from another world.

So, if the Jester were to find out that you too are a descender, perhaps your fate would be in the hands of the Doctor. 'Normally I'd say why not since Dottore is hot, but perhaps it's not really a good mindset to simp for anyone in this game.' You cloud that thought not wanting to become a perverted isekai character like the ones you would read in light novels.

“Then can I at least act like a citizen of Snezhnaya? You can assign guards around me if you wish so. I do not want to remain a prisoner by your orders.” You suggested, not wanting to be useless and a piece of decorative prisoner under his care.

The Jester looks at you with a raise eyebrow as he sits on the empty seat beside you. He honestly is still baffled that you were quite sure that he is treating you like a prisoner. His gloved hand reached out to yours placing them on top. His thumb gently caressing your forehand.

Your cheeks suddenly became red from the contact.

“(Y/N). If you feel that you are a prisoner, cease those senseless thoughts. I am merely looking out for your well-being.”

It actually surprises you that he would actually care for your mental health. Not that you could blame him if he would still have such disdain towards the royal family. Then again you wouldn’t complain that much, maybe the Princess is now definitely a close friend to the Jester.

Wait you really haven't asked him about that part, "Err... are we friends Lord Jester? Because you seem to care about me which is odd since you're you... you know?" Not wanting to be rude about his stoic and indifferent attitude, you didn't say anything to make this even more awkward than it already is.

“What?”

“Ah nevermind it's a weird question!”

“If that is how you want to play it, then I shall indulge such foolishness.” The Jester lets out a deeply annoyed sigh, “Do as you please and maybe you can be useful to the Fatui and Her Majesty.”

Some use huh? So, the Jester thinks nothing of you but a tool? Of course, what did you expect from the Fatui Harbinger. After all, knowing their lore so far, Pierro and Dottore were by far the scariest amongst them.

The way they manipulated Scaramouche's life, it’s as if they would disregard all life for the goal of burning the Old World.

You did not think any of this too deeply, once you find out how to switch with the real Princess again. You would be back into the real world and leave this world for good. Genshin Impact is much more enjoyable if you would be thrown to Mondstadt without actually reincarnating in the body of a person who has deep ties with the Fatui Harbinger Director.

‘Wait...’

‘What's Genshin Impact again?’

You suddenly panicked flinching your head sidewards making the Jester raise an eyebrow. ‘Why did I suddenly question my own reality?’ You look at the older man and strained a smile.

“Now I can't wait to get out of this nation and actually see Snezhnaya for real.”

Now if there is anything that the Jester could conclude for today's interaction is that you hide your real emotions through a bravado façade. From the reports of your maid, it would seem that you love to engage in nonsense conversations. You perk up the moment they serve hot chocolate and cookies when you take a break from reading. You who often poke the soldiers randomly while Natalia scolds your behavior.

You are quite a headache to the soldiers...

But the Jester honestly did question himself if you're having an identity crisis or if you did actually lose memories of the past century you spent with him. It troubled the former royal mage because the Princess of Khaenri'ah started to revert to your attitude before the Cataclysm. You were always a curious girl and talkative as well.

So why did you suddenly revert to the Princess he knew before the Cataclysm? Does your memory loss have anything to do with it? ...Or is it something else?

“However, I still cannot allow you to be without any soldier accompanying you just yet. You would need time to recuperate and it is unwise to rush in adjusting to your situation and maybe I shall allow you to pick up your claymore once again.” Again, the Jester talks as if he really doesn’t believe that you have already  

‘Wait back the fuck up am I gonna be like a playable character once I can prove to him that I recovered?’

“If I can prove myself, will you finally disregard the soldiers but I’ll have Natalia if it would ease your mind!” You suddenly have a stupid plan but it’s worth a try.

“Pray tell how on Teyvat are you going to prove that you are recovered?” He raised an eyebrow already expected something ridiculous would come out of your mouth.

“I challenge you to a chess match!”

Consider him a prophet, he is right to assume that you are an idiot. You never beat him once before and most especially now that he assumes about your memory loss.

And of course, to prove your worth to Pierro, you challenged him for a match in chess. That is the only reason you could think of, he is an intelligent man after all. He wouldn't be the Director of the Fatui Harbingers if not for his tactical mind.

Although the look of surprise in his expression is something you would relish. Since he didn't expect that the Princess would actually be so bold in threatening him in front of his subordinates.

Perhaps he would believe that you are a descender from another world like how you would often whisper to yourself.

Yes, he can hear you by the way, you are not as discreet as you think.

“Well? Are you not going to accept? You know Lord Jester this is not a behavior I would expect from someone like you. Are you afraid that you might lose to me?” Your behavior can be quite irritating, you know how to pull your strings and by challenging him while the subordinates he borrowed from the Doctor and the Fair Lady that were stationed in Mondstadt are present… it meant he needed to accept.

Gossips are more bothersome than dealing with you.

Pierro didn't break eye contact as he steps forward utterly disregarding the close proximity between the two of you. He notices your cheeks reddening and that made his lips quirk upwards. "Is this how you would beg for my attention? Perhaps it is time that I teach you a lesson for being such a headache." He lifted your chin upwards with his glove fingers, he knew how to make you squirm.

And he succeeded.

You were far more endearing when you try to take control of the situation but in the end, you never were in control.

You were always at his mercy.

“Let us begin.”

Pierro breaks contact from holding your chin, he stands up leaving you alone in the couch. He went to the nearest soldier ordering them to prepare a room for the chess match. While you on the other hand stare at him dumbfoundedly wondering if he is mocking you or seducing you. Either way your face is incredibly red as you grumbled.

“Damn it, here I thought someone like Scaramouche is my type.”

You utter those words out loud and the Fatui solders who heard you started to question if themselves if you were insane. And Natalia’s response is wanting to have a mental breakdown.

•••••

Of course, in conclusion you had lost that chess match.

You did last at least two hours against him until he utterly cornered your white king piece on the corner of the chess board. The empty space had been your downfall, it was a blocked road to make sure the white king is being surrounded by the white pieces.

The match is lost due to the fact you moved your white pawns to save them which made way for his black queen and black knight piece to corner your king piece.

“There is no need to feel defeated Lady (Y/N), you lasted against Lord Harbinger for two hours to which he does recognize that you are recuperating faster than the medic had anticipated.” Natalia spoke up after she notices that you were not paying attention to the bard that is playing in the middle of the plaze, just underneath the statue of Barbatos.

“Aw Natalia that’s the first time I heard you being so nice to me.” You tease your companion, although she did have a point of not being upset. Despite losing the chess match Pierro still allowed you to roam Mondstadt for a few hours since he still has some final business to tend to.

“I am merely stating a fact Lady (Y/N).” She blankly replied, “And I have to ask if you had enjoyed enough of the view of the Favonius Church and the statue of the Anemo Archon.”

There were glares and stares directed at the two of you, yet their gaze would not linger because of the bard that was still performing.‘Oh, right I forgot the Fatui has a bad rep here I guess I underestimated their ability to piss off people in different nations at their century of existing.’ You let out an unbothered hum because technically you were not part of the Fatui, the Princess is. “We’ll go after the bard is finish performing his piece.” In all honesty you just wanted to listen to the ballad since you haven’t really heard it after gloating over your lost to the Jester.

The bard with twin braids dressed in all green and white is looking at you while he strums his lyre and sang a ballad that made your body turn cold.

“You take in anything the ego tells you

Whatever you believe, it will always be a lie to you

The truth is constantly hidden by deceptive mental concoctions

Clear your perceptions from your palette

Be free of egoic contamination to see clearly

Peace emerges from the calm of the mind~”

Your stomach churned at the lyrics of the song, it’s as if it insulted your very mind and soul. The bard’s words were meant to ease the people who were listening. And yet why didn’t it do the same to you? Why were you wallowing in guilt that for some unknown reasons is buried deep inside your consciousness?

Then familiar voices started playing inside your mind, there were two people that spoke, one is your own voice and the other…

Your vision suddenly shifted into a different scene.

“After all these years why have you begun to regret what we had done? Do not forget that you were the one who started this with me.”

“I wish I did forget all of this.”

“It’s time to end these foolish theatrics (Y/N), if you wallow in your delusional fantasies then you will truly succumb to madness.”

“Then so be it, █ █ █ █ █.”

A strangled gasp came out from your throat, bile rose up from your stomach and you fell on your knees with tears in the corners of your eyes. You clutch your chest and heaved, ‘What the fuck was that memory inside my head? And whose name was the one that the Princess had uttered?’ Your ears were ringing and the bile you held back from the back of your throat has finally relieved itself.

“Lady (Y/N)…? Lady (Y/N)…!”

Your vision started to blur but you could still make out the view; Natalia yelling, the Fatui soldiers hurrying to your side, and the bard who played that dreadful song started to walk towards your direction.

A warm comforting wind enveloped your entire body. The pain stops along with your consciousness as the world began to fade in black.

•••••

When you came to be the first thing you observed is the wooden ceiling, the smell of the ocean, and the slight sensation of rocking. Alarmed by the fact that you were most definitely in a ship, you sat up immediately which is a bad decision. Your head started to ache again and bile threatened to escape your mouth once more.

“Fuck…” You curse under your ragged breath. “Is this the consequences of switching bodies with the Princess?”

You murmured as you turn to your side and to see the window that gave you the view of the ocean, the fake sky turned dark projecting the illumination of the fake moon and stars to the water. Once again you stare at your reflection instead of the view, you were still (Y/N) with the same features as in the real world, the only difference is the diamond shape pupils in your eyes.

“(Y/N) you should lay down again.”

The Jester had been sitting at your side and it would seem he was there ever since you were brought into the ship. His hand hovered over your shoulders and yet he refuses to touch you afraid that you might break like glass.

‘Wait…’

‘Did he hear what I just said?’

“I already ordered the Cicin Mage to bring you warm water and soup.”

‘Maybe not since he didn’t question me, I probably just said that out loud inside my mind.’

Since you weren’t responding Pierro never talked again, you just lay back down and did what he told you since your head is still pounding. After a while Natalia came inside to place your warm soup and water just beside the table near your bed to where Pierro sat. Her gaze lingers at your form for a few seconds and excused herself right away to leave the two of you alone.

“Okay this is really awkward Pierro, I think I’m alright now but… I don’t know whether or not I want to immediately move to Snezhnaya.” You broke off the silence first because the atmosphere would become more intense if the two of you would continue to gloat in silence.

“You may scorn me for leaving Mondstadt but we need you to be checked by the finest doctor in Snezhnaya one that could help in your case.”

When the word ‘doctor’ is heard your vision began to change.

“I suppose you have my gratitude. This amount will suffice until my experiment is a success. You were the one who killed this minor god right?”

“A fine observation Doctor, is the blood on my claymore not enough proof?”

“Oh no no, I'm just curious since you do know the consequences of killing a god. The people are plagued with madness already so I thank you for saving me the trouble of finding new test subjects for the archon residue you had collected.”

“Do not test me Zandik. Get to the point.”

“Hahahahah! Hah. It's just amusing that you once called me a monster but are we really so different Princess (Y/N)?”

“No! Do not bring me to that crazy fucker!”

In all honesty you would have just normally tell him calmly but your chest began to constrict and your stomach churned at the thought of Dottore. The memories started to flood your head once again, your arms flail as you smelled the miasma dried blood that is poison to most humans. The memories of the Princess with the Doctor plagued your mind and clouded your logic to respond appropriately.

“I would never let Dottore check on your health, he isn’t the best person to ask that of him. What I meant is the group of doctors that is based in Snezhnaya’s capital.” Pierro replied calmly although his eye widens the second you had yelled at him. “We need to get you examined otherwise you might self-destruct again.”

Your heart skips a beat at the tone of his voice. It’s as if this body of yours is programmed to be flustered at everything he says or do.

“I’ve always wondered… isn’t it a great traitorous sin to betray the Fatui? So why bother yourself with me. Be honest Pierro… I just want to know.” You pleaded because the very fate of your existence in this game depends at the fate of the Princess of Khaenri’ah. You looked helpless in the Jester’s eyes, one that he is not used to seeing you in such state of distress. You were confused and afraid, yet despite the fact that he knew that you often mumble about this world being in a game, what you experienced so far is quite real.

With a sigh Pierro cups your cheek, his thumb gently brush your soft skin. “If you would stop lying to yourself, you would find it easy to believe why I would do this for you and pleaded for your mercy. Had it been up to Her Majesty, you won’t find forgiveness in the land of ice and snow.” His tone shifted from a soothing voice to a cold one. You learned that whatever the Princess had done must’ve pissed of the Tsaritsa and that Pierro would have to obey her had she not accepted his plea.

“Had you accepted our fate had been damned from the beginning we would not have been in this situation. Nevertheless, who am I to scrutinize you when I am partly to blame of what happened between us.” He added as he lets go of your cheek after realizing his touch had lingered to your warmth longer than you had realize.

Although you did not expect that honesty from him.

“Will you play another round with me?” You ask wanting to change the topic.

“Does this game have anything in return?” He asks and… was the Jester teasing you?

“Nothing at all, I merely wish for a companion. Just to get my mind off of things… if you are not too busy of course.” You didn’t want to further analyze the situation besides why would you face the consequences of the Princess if she’s not even you in the first place.

“Very well, I shall indulge your wishes.” He gives in to your request, “However, I am not foolish enough to know that you are diverting this topic (Y/N) when the time comes, I need you to accept what will happen.”

“If that is the case when that time comes when I am to be honest with you, will you listen to me first?” You wanted to clear up this whole misunderstanding about you being the Princess because Pierro had misplaced his sentiments to you instead of her.

“Like I said when you find it in your soul to accept, I will consider it.” He replied, well that was to be expected but you accepted his answer with a nod.

And just like that another game of chess had begun as Pierro brings the board to your bed with a much more relaxed expression. As he arranges the pieces you quietly observed the older man, his expression did not much how his eyes look so desolate as if he is longing for something. Perhaps his homeland? Or is it the real Princess he had miss? It was certainly an emotion you had not expect when the fans and some speculation deemed him as someone who is determined for a war that will end the Heavenly Principles.

“Let us begin.”

Despite your unfortunate experience in getting isekai’d in Genshin Impact, getting to know Pierro is the one you somehow enjoy. So, for now you let your mind wander to this the soft and deft music of the soft splash of the sea waves and the tap of the chess pieces as you both move them around. Although it is Pierro’s presence that you can feel and hear it closing around you.

For tonight you would open up your mind and let your fantasies unwind because in the dark night at the sea, you cannot fight your fate in this world. At least not yet. So, for now you let yourself get immerse in a game of chess and accept Pierro’s presence.

“Like I said before (Y/N), do not let your pawns be your downfall, they are called pawns for a reason so you should at least keep that in mind.”

Your thoughts stop as Pierro takes your white bishop.

“Fine fine… I just can’t help it you know?” You shrugged but despite being nonchalant about it you notive that Pierro means to break the towering strategy before letting his black knight and black rook to corner your white king. “I’m often known as a soft person back in my world and ugh I really need to admit to myself that its okay to use others to win.” Okay maybe you really ought to be careful of your choice in words but this game is making you lose concentrate on what you were saying since your mind is focused on how to turn the tables on him.

“A precise reminder to make sure you will improve. I do take pleasure in playing a game that would mentally challenge me.”

Pierro smirks as he notices that you had taken his black knight with your white queen, at the very least this game should be more interesting than the first.

Thus, the following nights would end with the two of you being entangled in each other and let the darkness of the night be the witness of your chess games until your arrival in Snezhnaya.

•••••

“Is she here Jester?”

Wait was that La Signora’s voice that you just hear outside your quarter in this ship?

The slight fierceness of the sea covered your movement as you slow crept up to the door as you try to overhear them. You gently place your ear near by the door and made sure your feet couldn't be seen underneath the small cracks. 

“Yes.” Pierro answered shortly and with annoyed tone if you may add.

A chuckle could be heard from the woman, “I heard that she had gone mad, part of the rumors is because you had her locked up in your estate. Another said that she had defected the Fatui and got caught since Scaramouche had spotted her over in Inazuma. Then... the last speculation is that she is on a mission and that someone had altered her memories.” Every speculation is quite bizarre to be honest, you hadn’t expected that word of your incident would actually be a hot topic in the Fatui ranks.

“Baseless rumors are nothing more than to be their entertainment.” Thankfully it would seem that Pierro is definitely on your side in covering this incident, he did imply that this matter is between you, him, and the Tsaritsa.

“So what has become of your wife then?”

Wait what?

“Such information is not of your concern, now what of the Tsaritsa’s letter?” The topic quickly changed from the tone of his voice, he is not amused anymore.

“Ah we should discuss that without your Electro Cicin Mage here.” Finally, La Signora dropped the topic and two footsteps slowly made its way to the other side of the ship.

Your head started to pound at this new information and your heart started to beat faster out of nervousness. At least the questions you kept pestering Pierro had finally been cleared up via eavesdropping.

‘The dots finally connected…’

‘I’m his fucking wife what the hell?!’

“Lady (Y/N), you heard that didn’t you?” The door opened without you noticing it, Natalia had caught you eavesdropping on Pierro and La Signora’s conversation earlier.

With a defeated sigh you nod at Natalia’s question.

⟡ Act III - Phantom of the Opera ⟡

Sing once again with me

Our strange duet

My power over you

Grows stronger yet

And though you turn from me

To glance behind

The phantom of the, opera is there

Inside your mind

•••••

Zapolyarny Palace is colder than anticipated, the atmosphere is far from the feeling of comforting winters. The atmosphere is tense and the tension is thick. No one could cut it with a knife, a claymore maybe... a really hot claymore.

The cold gaze of the Tsaritsa is something you could feel. Your entire body felt like as if it incases in layer by layer of ice. Nothing could have saved you from her gaze, not even from Pierro.

The Harbingers were summoned, Pierro and Signora are there of course is there since they were the one who delivered you to the Tsaritsa. Pulcinella, Columbina, Scaramouche, and Dottore were all present. The other Harbingers... well that isn't really something you can think about.

“(Y/N),”

When the Tsaritsa mentioned your name, you feel so small and terrified from the calm anger of her tone. “You have deserted your position in the Fatui. The price for your sins would be equal with death. A founding member capable of defection... does death seem like a proper punishment for you?” She spoke with such gentleness yet her void of emotion is what made this encounter unnerving. This is what the Cryo Archon is like face to face she is not like the other archons you had encountered in the game.

“Your Majesty, the Tsaritsa, can I really be guilty of defecting the Fatui when there is no evidence of my sins?”

Natalia had advised not to look guilty or weak in front of the Tsaritsa and the rest of the Fatui Harbingers. You actually don't know why the Electro Cicin Mage would side with the likes of you but thankfully your question did break the tension that was directed towards you. All the Harbingers’ eyes were on you, some is expecting you to fail while the others are indifferent towards you.

Columbina is the only one who is smiling and humming to herself. Although despite her eyes being closed you could still feel her gaze is directed towards you. She's so relaxed as if she didn't care about what's happening right now.

“Hoh hoh. Despite having your memory lost, you seem to have a sharp tongue as ever, Lady (Y/N).” Pulcinella amusingly let out a chortle but his amused tone betrayed the hostility in his gaze.

“Lady (Y/N), your claims do not have enough proof. Still your mission is to have diplomacy to the Akademiya which you had not failed.” Dottore looked at a stack of report papers, “Not only that you've established connections with some officials in Liyue, Inazuma, and Mondstadt. However, you disappeared for five months somewhere in building those connections. Coincidentally, the Jester found you in Mondstadt with no memories.” His tone is amused yet you could feel it mocking what the Princess had done although he does seem impressed by how there zero evidence of her defection. Dottore would at least acknowledge the effort to cover up a big scandal within the Fatui.

“A convenient scenario yet despite the coincidence evidence of your defection has not been seen in the investigation. Quite the cover if I do say so myself.” Scaramouche didn’t hide his distaste towards you and you do wonder what the heck did the Princess do to receive hostility from these three Harbingers.

Well at least they did acknowledge that you were not a traitor but you do recall Pierro accusing you of one when the two of you first met. “So... uh there you go. I technically have not defected the Fatui if there is no evidence.” You shrug your shoulders instinctively feigning innocence… which is technically true in your case.

Although despite the fact that you were about to calm down, the entire throne room suddenly became extremely cold even for your immortal body, you could not endure this cold. Icicles formed around your shivering clothing and your skin started to turn blue. You however did not break eye contact to the throne that stood so far from where you had stood.

The Harbingers all looked at the Tsaritsa, and one by one they left the throne room leaving you all alone. Pierro is the only one who stayed, his gaze never left you. His expression looks hardened and he did not show any ounce of pity, which you are thankful or else you would have looked really guilty in front of Her Majesty.

“Well played Princess of Khaenri'ah.” The Tsaritsa rose and descended from her icy throne. She slowly stepped towards you in a menacing way if you may so add. Your eyes widen in panic as you look at Pierro for help but he remained standing still at the bottom of the throne letting the Tsaritsa pass.

“You have not betrayed me nor the Fatui.”

You gulp as she stood in front of you not even noticing that her arms were slowly moving up to your body. “But the one you had truly betrayed is yourself.” Her tone is more disappointed than angry with only the three of you left in the throne room.

‘I’m genuinely confused…’

‘Does that mean the Princess really did not defect?’

‘Base on what Pierro had said she tried to kill herself... Maybe...’

“Welcome back.” The Tsaritsa's tone became soft as she wrapped her arms around your body. The hug you had receive is cold but it felt so pure of love. It cut you off from the numerous questions that ran through your mind and without any reservation you returned her gesture.

“Forgive me Your Majesty, I really am not the Princess of the Khaenri'ah...” Your eyes widen a second, maybe that's not really the answer you should tell her. “...E-Er uhm only because I feel like I am not her due to my memory loss.”

The Tsaritsa's gaze remains to be soft as she pulls away from the hug. "(Y/N), stop this foolishness you had been gone long enough I do not want you to succumb to madness. "She cups your cheek while holding your hand rubbing your forearm softly with her thumb. "Do not betray yourself again, that is all I would ask." She lets go of her hold on you, her gaze became cold now as she slowly ascended the throne.

Pierro then stood at your side he nods at you as if he was telling you did well.

“You two are dismissed.”

“Yes, Your Majesty.” You and Pierro then place a hand over your chest bowing slightly to the Tsaritsa.

On the way out of the throne room and back into the halls of Zapolyarny palace. Pierro poked your index finger slightly, you turn to him and he looks relieved that you hadn't really made the Tsaritsa angry. Pursing your lips slightly, the look he gave you is something your parents never gave to you.

The look of someone being proud.

Hugging him is out of the question instead you held out your pinky poking his hand back. In return his own pinky intertwined with yours as the two of you discreetly held each other.

At the first few seconds it felt nice but panic started to slowly sink in... ‘Is this really okay to go on even if I'm not really his wife?’

Then you look at his face, he had a really cute expression right now. His cheeks were slightly painted with a small blush. So, for now you don't think about the consequences and just let Pierro escort you to a carriage ride back to his estate with your pinkies intertwined.

•••••

“Did you ever regret it █ █ █ █ █?”

“Regret what?”

“What we became.”

It’s that voice and name again, the one that plagued you on Mondstadt up until the journey back to Snezhnaya. You purse your lips wondering who that mysterious person was.

“Lady (Y/N)? You're shaking from the cold.”

Thankfully Natalia’s voice cut you off from drowning in your own thoughts, ever since the bard playing a song about self-deception and the Tsaritsa claiming you to betraying yourself hit the nail and buried it deep inside your mind. You wonder why those words affected you so much when it was all for that Princess.

“Dear me it would seem that you had a hard time in your journey Lady (Y/N).” A small elder man with an elf like ears and moustache came in with servants who prepared a tea set that seems to be locally made and it looks really fresh. “Have some tea just to calm you down.”

The encounter with the Tsaritsa had passed by a month and Pierro suggested to have you work again, it was only simple work. Organizing the files in the mayor’s office while he would temporarily take over the heavy burden for you. Pulcinella wasn’t amused by the fact that you would be so casually taking over his work for 5 months during your disappearance.

To him it’s not about the power hierarchy but how serious were you in helping Her Majesty improve this nation that keep enduring hard these past few years.

“Pulcinella, you don’t have to be so friendly towards me just because I lost my memories, I can tell that you spite me because of what I have done.” Honestly the fandom doesn’t really justify the grandpa vibes from this specific harbinger, he is the total opposite of a kind and gentle grandfather that community had concluded.

“Hoh. Perceptive I see, I will give it to you Lady (Y/N). I really could not forgive that you are utterly weak minded. You once said that being a leader required a mind of steel and a stone heart to overlook the carnage, after all an empire could not be built without blood.” The elderly man stated his tone is rather venomous but you maintain your composure, despite the fact you absolutely intimidated. He may be short but between the two of you, you’re the one who felt small.

‘Why the fuck would the Princess say that? Now this little shi-old man isn’t giving me a break.’

With shaky gulp you inhale the tension and exhaled deeply to let out your nervousness, “Then if I maybe so bold Pulcinella, how about you would take over the position from me?” That was the very thing that Pierro had suggested from the start, give Pulcinella what he wants and he will open his mind to reconsider his thoughts about your competency.

In all honesty you absolutely do not want to involve yourself with the Fatui but for Pierro you really have to endure it since he’s your provider and caretaker. This is the least you can do to take a lot of workloads from his shoulders, and since the Princess isn’t here to decide for herself is she still wants to be the mayor then it’s up to you.

You smile at Pulcinella, sarcastically. “Oh, make no mistake I am not affected by what you had said, from the five months that the Princess had gone you have done well in managing Snezhnaya. Perhaps it is time that I would retire from such position and focus on more important matters… behind the scenes.” Although you are genuinely impressed that he shouldered the burden of being a mayor. And from the Winter Night’s Lazzo, a harbinger did call him mayor and it definitely wasn’t the Princess.

“And what are these matters?” Now the Rooster took the bait from your words.

“Rooster.” The deep baritone voice surprised you, only you the rest were already aware that he had entered the office. “Have you ever read the accounting-”

“Damn it Pierro!” You smack his arm.

The servants under Pulcinella were utterly horrified that you just slapped their superior’s boss meanwhile Natalia had already seen that coming. You were truly unaware that he had already came inside the mayor’s office when you asked the Rooster to take over as mayor. He is actually impressed that you had already spot the problem, although he did already spot it a few weeks ago but he does admit that he is far engrossed in searching for you.

And this problem is just perfect for you to prove yourself to the one who is most passionate about Snezhnaya’s improvement and who worships the Tsaritsa devotedly.

“-as I have said, the accounting is poorly managed, what can you do to recuperate from the billions of mora that we had lost these past decade?” He ignored your slap since it didn’t really hurt him, besides he does admit it amuses him that he can sneak up on you like this. Garnering such adorable expressions truly makes his day better.

Pierro does make up with him surprising you with presence by handing out the official documents that would prove that Snezhnaya is on the verge of bankruptcy.

“Please don’t surprise me like that…” You grumble as you grabbed the accounting records from Pierro, “Look this right here the numbers don’t add up, why should we fund Dottore’s laboratory anyway? As far as I am concerned his experiments have done nothing but take mora and results don’t even compensate for what we have lost.” You pointed at the numbers of mora, which would probably can pay your student loans and fund your family for at least a century.

Pulcinella does pay attention at least and now you have finally hooked him, least to say that being the mayor won’t be your problem anymore.

“The noble families in this country should be contacted, the taxes of the people have not seen the light of day in the north and eastern side of this country.” You continued while he takes the papers that would be under his care to solve.

“And with your built connections in Liyue Harbor and Ritou we could recuperate millions of sums.” Pulcinella finally connected the dots of your disappearance, although, you really don’t know what happened to the Princess predicting this situation. It was as if she truly is ready to pass on the mantle of the mayor to Pulcinella. Perhaps she was really ready to… you shook your head and gave Pulcinella the second main problem of the bankruptcy, “Then we cut off Dottore’s funding for a while, if he wants his research to be funded then we should expect more results rather than more hypotheses.”

“While I do this, Pulcinella can we both trust you in handling things here in Capital? And if those noble families hold back the taxes and refuse to give us the real documents…”

“Ah it would seem that I had made a mistake in being bitter towards you Lady (Y/N), you truly do know how to manage this country.”

“An honorable job such as being the mayor is something I would give up just so we couldn’t overlook Snezhnaya’s built up of corruption. The Fatui is indeed establishing its influence but can we really stay in power when Snezhnaya is going against itself?” Okay your mouth suddenly went on autopilot because what you have been saying so far… it’s as if you already know how to handle Snezhnaya’s economic problems.

“And what of the blood that will be spilled?”

Now the tension is back again after the Rooster asked an ominous question, Pierro gave him a warning look but of course he chose to ignore it.

“Why would there be a need for bloodshed?” You asked the elder man back unaware of the tension.

Your response made Pulcinella close his eyes, though he does seem disappointed but nonetheless he finally got what he wanted. “Hmm. I can overlook this naivety for once since your memories are lost, you may not have them yet but that doesn’t mean your compassion to those who doesn’t deserve it should stay.” He leaves the room to start working with the position you passed onto him, the servants and soldiers inside the room followed after him.

“Leave us.” Pierro ordered his subordinates and so they all left including Natalia.

Now that it’s only you and Pierro who were left, you turn to him a bit worried. “Did I say something wrong Pierro?” You look absolutely helpless compared earlier that held a really suave and dignified aura.

“What you had said, can it be really resolved without any people being killed?” His tone is soft as if crossing through a fragile bridge, he notices you starting to panic. When your hands start to shake and your knees buckle that is the cue that you would start to shut down. “Breathe… and think carefully (Y/N), is bloodshed truly the answer?”

The palm of his gloved hands were on your shoulders, he rubs them gently knowing how affected you can get when it comes to death. The way he rubs your shoulder blades with such tenderness and slowly unknotting the tension made you calm down.

“No… but it can be avoided…” You finally answered him.

“And how are you going to do that?” He urges you to go on.

“Talking… chatting…” You purse your lip as you had been enlightened. “Negotiation! Scare their fucking asses!”

Well your answer finally came through the acceptable answer that he also have thought of, “Remember not to use profanities when you do it, intimidation often comes from how well you would handle yourself. Though you are aware that words won’t work if you do truly want to save Snezhnaya from bankruptcy.” Talking to him feels so natural at this point, whether it be casual or work conversations you find comfort in hearing his voice. Although you were still quite reserve with him trying to get close to you, especially now that you found out that the Princess is his wife.

It is wrong to lead him on believing you were her.

“Of course, but I don’t know if I can do this alone… sheesh! We truly need a banker.” You replied jokingly, you were walking to the door not really wanting to be alone with him. “Well, I guess we should go now, right? You are still needed in-”

You mentally cursed for being too slow.

Pierro’s strong grip is wrapped around your wrist, he was so close to you that you could feel his chest on your head. The size difference between the two of you is quite evident when he stands so close, his hand trapping yours made it hard to leave the room. You didn’t dare look at his direction and close your eyes letting out a shaky sigh then faced him tilting your head, “Do you need something?”

He chose to ignore your question, “Since you cannot recall, we used to work together when the Harbingers haven’t formed yet. Shall we do this together once again?”

You nervously let out a chuckle, this wasn’t supposed to be your role to this world, you only helped Pierro as a thank you not as a permanent job. Even if you were starting to look at him in a different way, you were not the Princess of Khaenri’ah. You were not his wife.

This time instead of holding his hand, you let go of it but his grip became even tighter and looks of remorse is evident on your facial expression. “But uhm what if I am not really your wife? What if I’m not the Princess you once knew? What if… her soul is no longer in this body?” There you finally said it but it was more of a hypothetical question rather than being firm with the real thing.

“That she believes she’s in a different world reincarnated into her favorite game? Do you truly still believe in that false illusion?” The more you had tried to avoid his voice the more it starts to invade your mind.

“Isekai? Reincarnation? That is ridiculous and it definitely doesn’t seem to be well written base on its title.”

“It isn’t so bad and besides I think it’s funny that the title of this novel is ‘This is a story after I died in the real world then getting isekai'd into my favorite board game but why the fuck is the Demon Lord who greeted me instead of a cute fairy guide?!’ It’s creatively eye catching.”

“I would close my eyes.”

“Ugh come on don’t you find it funny?”

Now it was clear who the mysterious person was during your relapses, it belonged to Pierro.

Now you were utterly helpless from this confrontation, Pierro started to believe that you were faking your memory lost. It was all the same from everyone, including the Fatui subordinates, Signora’s gossip, and the Tsaritsa’s words that you truly had betrayed your own mind.

“What?! I’m not crazy Pierro! I am not the Princess! I’m just (Y/N)!” You cried loudly not wanting to loosen your grip on your own reality, “I’m a corporate worker who is underpaid while balancing my life in getting my master’s then-”

“Died by saving your thesis paper and then reincarnated into your favorite game. I know I have read the novel you had bought in Inazuma.” Pierro’s calm angry tone scared you now… and what’s even scarier is that your vision started to change and this time the visual is clear as day on who you were talking to.

“Don’t you have a diplomatic mission in Sumeru?”

“Ah… well I just want to see you one last time my dear husband…”

“Is that why you came to annoy me so late in the evening? You know you could have just asked, we’ve been married for decades now and you’re still shy as ever (Y/N).”

“Yeah… I know… I just really wanted to see you, █ █ █ █ █.”

“█ █ █ █ █! you’re hurting me…!”

When you yelled his real name, Pierro froze like deer in headlights, he realizes that fragments of your memories were slowly slipping through the alchemy marks that you had planted within your mind. His grip is still tight and you began thrashing around and yelling at him to let go. You sounded so confused and hurt that he is tempted to let you go but he already had enough of your lies and his patience is grounded to zero.

“We will return to my estate and continue this conversation there.” He declares since you were starting to get hysteric.

How could you not go hysteric? This man confused your mind and the reality you had believed in, you weren’t so sure about what’s real and not. It didn’t help when he started to have a vice grip on your wrist on which you are sure that it will bruises.

“I said let go!” You slapped his cheek unaware of the blue wisp on your palm hitting the right side of his face as his mask is thrown on the ground.

Red started to drip on the marbled white floor of the office, your eyes widen as you saw the cut on Pierro’s cheek. The blue wisp of your abilities is the one that created the wound, you look at your hand and saw wisp still lingering. Then you look at Pierro again his reaction made your heart dropped from what you had seen

An expression filled with so much grief, anger, and pain. Before the older man could say anything you ran out of the office afraid of the consequences of your actions.

And though you turned your back on him.

You knew he would always plague your mind from this day on.

•••••

You absolutely underestimated Zapolyarny Palace, when you ran away from the mayor’s office you were surrounded by dark hallways that had soldiers stationed in each door of every room. They seem to ignore you which is good because you clearly could not deal with anyone else especially Pierro. They all think that you had gone mad, you weren’t… but are you really sure about believing in your own reality?

When you ran away from the mayor’s office, your feet dragged you to a secluded garden nearby, the bushes were all painted in white snow and the flowers never grew in this area. You realize that your stamina still hasn’t been depleted and physically you were still okay but mentally? You were absolutely exhausted by the events that transpired as you squat down letting your knees sink down the soft and cold bite of snow.

“Fuck…” You curse under your breath, “Fuck fuck… they all think I’ve gone mad.”

“Hah. I suppose that makes two of us then.”

Dottore’s voice didn’t even startle your exhausted form. When you raise your head up this one is the same clone back in the Tsaritsa’s throne room and in your vision, the Omega Build, you could tell from the beak mask and clothing. Although beside him is Scaramouche who remained silent as he is disinterested in whatever was happening.

You look up to the two of them, “Why are you still not leaving?” Honestly you didn’t want to talk to anyone who doesn’t think you’re insane.

“As much as it is not my business to meddle, I am just curious to why you would continue to deny that you are living in a fake reality of your own making?” Dottore genuinely is curious but his lack of empathy somehow made it easy to talk to him.

“That’s the very thing I don’t understand Dottore, why do you all assume that I am the Princess and not some poor soul that had switched places with her?!” You were starting to get riled up again because even Pierro hadn’t believed in you even though back in the ship he said that he would listen and trust you… and yet he didn’t, you do understand his reaction but when he made you start to question your own memories that was when you begun to get upset.

“Switch souls…?”

Dottore began to laugh.

And you were on the verge of tears.

“Amazing! This is truly a product of your own research except you have not reached for the conclusion of your hypotheses because you had failed. To put you out of your misery Lady (Y/N), the answer has already been given by Her Majesty, the one you had truly betrayed is yourself.” Dottore had been lost to his own ramblings now and had bark insults at your pathetic crying form, “Well, I could not blame you for completely living in ignorant bliss, you always have a fragile soul despite being the fiercest Harbinger that we have. Unlike the Jester he accepted that he no longer had any ounce of humanity left in him and you on the other hand, continues to deny that you had long fallen from grace. And, proof of your denial is your own belief that you had truly switched places with a poor soul from another world.” Dottore dropped something on the snowy ground, it made a small crater but the white color of snow turned red.

“Here I wanted to give this back.”

For your dignity, you swallowed the scream that you want to let out and the object became clearer in your vision. “This is…” The item is the container of the archon residue that you had seen in your elapse with Dottore being there. “The minor god that I had killed and those people that I purposely turned my back to so that you may be able to use them.”

Tears finally streamed down to your face as the memory of the carnage the Princess of Khaenri’ah, who’s real identity is none other than you, the one who put fake memories in your mind to forget the sins of what you had done for the Fatui, for Her Majesty, for Pierro, and for your vengeance.

Dottore crosses his arms looking down at you with a smirk “And there you go, the first step towards the answer, acceptance.” In all honesty he is proud to have made you realize to the answer you had been looking for. Although he does not look forward if Pierro ever finds out about this incident.

“Enough already Dottore, you have taken too much time of your schedule to bother the Jester’s wife, shall we proceed to your laboratory?” Scaramouche asked a bit irritated that his precious time is being eaten by a woman he doesn’t even know and she started to cry because of Dottore.

“Ah yes of course but this is basically a service to Her Majesty and the Fatui,” Dottore is surprisingly honest with his answer but it did give him satisfaction he finally had snapped the hanging thread of your fake memories. “Scaramouche you may have just joined the faction but Lady (Y/N) is not just the Jester’s wife, she currently holds the title of the Second of the Fatui Harbingers.”

“I see, then if that is the case Lady (Y/N), the solution to your problem is something you already have passed through. Start from the beginning and it may just help you.” When Scaramouche had said that, you stopped crying and looked at him.

Although he and Dottore were already walking away from you.

“Is your advice a reference in your contribution in ending the Raiden Gokaden?” Dottore asked with a grin.

“And yet I did not get the results I wanted, the Electro Archon simply didn’t care, this isn’t about me Dottore… I am just giving Lady (Y/N) a better advice than yours because if she recovers from losing her mind then I don’t have to take orders from you.” Scaramouche scoffs at him clearly annoyed by his entire existence.

“Indeed, what an insight Scaramouche, would you like a lollipop for that?” Dottore teased.

“Eat shit.” Scaramouche then pointed his middle finger at the Doctor.

As soon as they were out from your view, you stood up from the snow, you let your tears dry on your cheeks as you held the bloodied container in your hand. Pursing your lip, you wonder what really had transpired for you to even think about erasing your own memories and replacing them with ones that you had once read in a novel from Inazuma.

Pursing your lips your grip of the bloodied container started to grow stronger and the glass started to crack as you angrily contemplated on what to do from now on. A hand is place over your own, smaller hands, one that belonged to the first friend you had made in your entire fake isekai journey. You turn to Natalia and smile, at the very least someone is at your comfort for today’s events.

“(Y/N)?” She didn’t use the lady title and her tone is softer than you had remembered. “Forgive me for not intervening, I thought by having Dottore speak to you it would benefit your mind, if you linger in living through this fake memory. Your entire brain would collapse and you would be nothing more than a hallow shell.” She rubs her thumbs over your forehand as she lets out a soft hum that somehow soothes your disturbed thoughts and feelings slightly.

“Natalia… Do you truly think that I have gone mad? I… I can’t even remember being the Princess of Khaenri’ah nor do I even can’t stop believing that I am an isekai character.” You grit your teeth in frustration.

She softly pats your hair, “I do not think you have gone mad, you were overwhelmed with emotions of vengeance and guilt, with a delicate heart as yours… only you have the answer to why you had replaced your memories.”

“Scaramouche said that I should go back to the beginning…” Of course, it is obvious that the Jester is the one you had first encountered. Every question and answer all lies anything related him. “Pierro… I need to go to him…” The beginning of your journey is Pierro and you were not an isekai’d character but truly the Princess of Khaenri’ah who finally remembered that you deliberately tried to kill yourself and since that won’t work you somehow re-wrote your memory.

No wonder Pierro was so upset earlier, now you feel like the asshole because you were the one who got scared then slapped him then ran away. You feel deserving of Dottore’s cathartic way of letting you accept the reality.

“Right answer but wrong action, now are you really sure you would sing a duet with him once again?” Natalia asked in a sing sang tone which is now completely different from his monotonous voice.

“If he would have me…” You do wonder if he can truly forgive you, the man had gone through enough and he has a mentally ill wife as his partner unfortunately. Although it is odd that Natalia knows a lot about the situation, you narrow your eyes at her. “Wait Natalia, how do you know so much about this situation I thought you were just an Electro Cicin Mage?”

Natalia then smiled for the first time, it was an unsettling smile but somehow it didn’t look intimidating. As the matter of fact her smile is somehow comforting as she pulls the hood of her uniform and removed her mask. The true identity of Natalia the Personal Assistant is another Fatui Harbinger…

“Columbina.”

“I truly had missed you dearest (Y/N).” The shorter female tackled you into a hug, she rubs her cheek onto your chest as she lets out a hearty giggle. “Forgive me for lying but your husband didn’t want me to reveal myself to you yet so I became your body guard~” Now it makes sense why Pierro is so confident in letting you roam Mondstadt with minimum soldiers.

Columbina then lets you go and she closes her eyes still smiling, “So now that you’re finally aware of your situation would you like me to return your memories?”

Your breath suddenly hitches in anticipation, “You could do that?” Natalia… Columbina… either way she is truly a dear friend of yours.

“With the help of Dottore’s child segment Zeta, you were able to withhold your memories in the archon residue container. I am able to slowly put your memories back so you won’t get hurt.”

Your eyes widen in surprise because you never thought that the Doctor actually gave you the memories back by making you cry of course. Now that you think about it, you didn’t feel the intent to murder him anymore but instead thank him. Oh, how ironic it is that he just showed the actual traits of a doctor towards you.

Turning to Columbina you gave her a determined look, you wipe your tears once more and let out a really heavy exhale. “Please return everything to me my dearest songbird.” When you had said the nickname that you would often call her, she then slowly turn the container around as small purple colored wisp started to seep through.

As the wisp surrounded your head, you close your eyes and readily accept its content. Under the false illusions of your lies, Pierro had never given up his adoration for you and your response to it would also be the same. You would finally stop giving up on yourself.

•••••

Now you were back from the start, to your real life as the Princess of Khaenri’ah, the memories of your childhood to your coming of age had all start to come through like a fast wind. It’s as if these memories were but a fraction of your long life, after all you had spent 100 years in the Fatui and 23 years as a royalty.

Now face to face with a younger Pierro who wore the suit of a royal mage. He brought your hand to his lips, “Truly you have a compassionate heart Princess (Y/N) thank you for always checking up on me on my lowest days.”

“Hush now Grumbles.” He grunted at your poor choice of nicknames but accepted your hug happily he buried his face on your hair inhaling the scent of pine and mint with a tad mix of strawberries and custard since you had made him some pastries, “We’ve been friends since my coming of age so I would always come by and check on you, okay?”

The grumpy mage couldn’t help but smile at that, what is love without friendship first. Had it not been to you, he surely would be wallowing in self-pity and anger by himself after being ridiculed endlessly by the sages ever since he had failed to stop them from doing something that tore away the veil of sin.

You always had hated those assholes from your father’s council anyway, even Rhinedottir is insufferable as she would not stop creating those monsters. Your friend had been your saving grace from this insufferable castle, at the very least the citizens of Khaenri’ah were not all obsessed with technology but more inclined in everyday lives such as baking, sewing, reading fictional literature, or even gardening.

Those kind of things is what you want to preserve in Khaenri’ah and the grumpy mage is the one you wish to do this with. “Hey there’s something I’ve always wanted to tell you...” You place both your hands on his chest while your cheeks start to heat up from the close proximity between the two of you.

“What is it Princess (Y/N)?” His eyes slowly soften up when you called him by his real name.

You purse your lips finding it hard to say those three words to him, yet you would not end this day without confessing your love for him “I-”

The door of his quarters slammed opened, a tall blonde man with blue eyes holding a longsword came, his expression is panicked and extremely troubled.

“I have been looking everywhere for you Princess-Mage an impeccable timing we need every warrior we can get to protect the people!” He barked out orders his voice is shaking from fear.

“Dainsleif! What is going on?” You ask as your claymore materializes on your hands.

“Twilight Sword who is attacking the people?” The mage asked as well as his catalyst also materializes as it hovers above his hand.

Dainsleif grit his teeth, his eyes were wide open as if he had seen the most horrifying sight of his life. The Twilight Sword is one of the strongest warriors in this kingdom and to him looking so afraid… you were beginning to know the reason for his fears.

“The gods… they have come to destroy Khaenri’ah.”

~ End of the First Part of Truthful Adoration in False Illusions

A/N:

I would like to apologize for scamming everyone who thought this was going to be an isekai reader but it's actually a mentally illed princess reader who could not deal with the fact she had done horrible stuffs for vengeance against Celestia.

In all honesty isekai was really the plot for this fanfic but I changed it due to the fact that isekai reader wouldn't really connect with Pierro emotionally unlike Princess of Khaenri'ah reader whom he already had known for five years before the Cataclysm.

If you guys want to read Act IV: All I Ask of You it's available on AO3 now but I'm holding it back since I haven't polished Act V, Interlude, and Epilogue yet.

I truly admire if you guys actually read this whole thing and enjoyed it, I feel like I'm such a messy writer since its been years since I posted a fanfic ;u;)

Anyways I hope you guys enjoyed the first part of this fanfic! <333

[todaysjewishholiday]

26 Iyyar 5784 (2-3 June 2024)

Once again, we have a yahrzeit of two influential teachers centuries apart who shaped Judaism and demonstrate Jewish diversity and adaptability.

Saadia ben Yosef, Gaon of Sura, was born on the banks of the Nile in 4652, roughly 200 years after the Islamic conquest. Thus, rather than the Greco-Roman and Persian cultures of the Tannaim and Amoraim, he grew up in an Arabic speaking world shaped by a rival Abrahamic tradition. He was the first Jewish scholar to write primarily in Judeo-Arabic, the language later adopted by the Rambam Moshe ben Maimon. At the age of 20, Saadia began compiling a Hebrew dictionary. He soon went to eretz yisroel for further study, and after ten years there moved to Babylonia where he became a member of yeshiva of Sura, which had been in continuous operation from the time of the Amoraim. Within two years the Jewish exilarch appointed Saadia as Gaon of the academy.

From the start, Saadia’s career was shaped by disputation and sharp debate with those whose stances he found theologically or socially objectionable. The tenor of those disputes was shaped not only by Jewish tradition, but by the open conflict between Mutazilite and Mutakallamist scholars of Islam, who in Saadia’s time remained in dispute about whether the Quranuc text was a created object like other creations, or co-eternal with G-d and fundamental to the divine essence. Parallel debates about the Torah have raged in Judaism, but Saadia borrowed the shape of the qadi’s arguments rather than their content, engaging in sharp disputes about the proper way to calculate the Hebrew calendar and striving to defend rabbinic Judaism in fiery exchanges with Karaite scholars who accepted only the written Torah and rejected the oral traditions central to rabbinic practice. Saadia’s fiery temper and forceful personality soon put him at odds with his benefactor the Exilarch, and they spent several years in bitter conflict, each going so far as to issue cherem against the other. Their eventual reconciliation allowed Saadia to return to his position as head of the yeshiva of Sura, a position which carried great weight of authority for Jews throughout the Islamic world.

A prolific scholar, he composed numerous translations, publishing much of the Tanakh in Arabic translation, numerous linguistic texts on the Hebrew language, works of halakha, theology, and Jewish mysticism, and a large number of polemics against his various ideological opponents. He died in Sura in the year 4702 at the age of sixty, reportedly of severe depression from his many conflicts with the exilarch and others.

Moshe Chaim Luzzatto was born just over eight hundred years late than Saadia, in 5467, in the Venetian Ghetto (the first Jewish quarter to be called by that odious name). He received a wide Jewish and secular education, and may have attended the university of Padua. In his teens he began to compose poetry, including his own collection of 150 Hebrew psalms in full biblical style, and study Jewish mysticism. At the age of twenty he claimed he had been visited by a Malakh and began writing down mystical lessons from this heavenly mentor. This claim of divine tutelage shocked and offended the Venetian rabbinical establishment, and he was only saved by cherem by agreeing to cease his writing and teaching of mysticism. He then emigrated to Amsterdam where he continued his mystical explorations while working as a diamond cutter, thus following closely in the footsteps of a controversial Jew from a century before, Baruch Spinoza. Disappointed by the difficulties of life in Amsterdam, he traveled to eretz yisroel with his family three years before his death and established a shul in Acre. He died during a plague outbreak in Acre at the age of 39, leaving behind an immense body of poetry, drama, and theological, ethical, and mystical instruction despite the seizure and destruction of much of his early work by the Venetian Jewish authorities. His works were soon praised by the Vilna Gaon and became central to the Mussar movement, and his Hebrew poetry and blending of secular and Torah learning and literature became a major inspiration to the Haskalah. For his rabbinic teachings he is known by the acronym RaMCHaL, for Rabbi Moshe Chaim Luzzatto.

The twenty-sixth of Iyyar is also the sixth night of the sixth week of the Omer count. Yesterday was the fortieth day of the Omer. After tonight’s count, 8 days remain before Shavuot.

[threeletterslife]

31 | Legends of Darlaria

⨰ summary: You wake up in yet another unfamiliar place. This time, however, these strangers seem to recognize you. With your previous judgments and aspirations thrown out the window, you're now forced to face where your loyalties really lie. Who will you betray? And which General will you choose to stand by his side?

⨰ pairing/rating: yoongi x reader & jungkook x reader | PG-15

⨰ genre: 70% angst, 30% fluff | war!au & magic!au

⨰ warnings: profanity, mentions of death

⨰ wordcount: 21.1k

⨰ join the taglist! (pm/send in an ask/reply/reblog)

⨰ previous | series m.list | next

⧖⧗Many, Many Circas Ago⧗⧖

The 11th city was a familiar place. Not so homely, but pleasant in its own way. Mostly inhabited by scholars and instructors of prestigious academies, it was quite the busy city. Yet there were no merchants who crowded the streets as they did in the 3rd city and no boisterous children running about as they did in the 10th. Your earliest memories were of adults heel-to-toe racing to their destinations with their noses stuck in their books. Your parents fit right into this crowd as divinist scholars, themselves. And if there was one thing in your life that has stayed constant from birth to the present, it was books—which you never minded. It was natural for you to take up reading when it was all that your mothers ever did. And besides, your home’s numerous reading nooks made it easy to cozy up with a nice fairytale and some thick, fleece blankets, listening to the soft crackling of candles and the pitter-patter of rain against the window panes.

When you were younger, possibly around six years old, your parents kept your birthstone in a little tin up on the top shelf of the tallest bookshelf in your home. It was a precaution most parents adhered to when their child was young. You were allowed to play with your birthstone occasionally but, of course, under supervision. Darlaean magic was never something to be messed with. And often, children did not understand the ramifications of this great power. Yet you were aware of it for as long as you could remember. Too often, you read (or really, looked at pictures) about antagonists in your fairytale books consumed by their greed and their thirst for control, attempting to break the limits of what their birthstones could achieve. There were those who tried to bring back the dead, those who attempted to force others to love them, and those who wanted to live forever. In the end, they would always spiral into mania or be forced into defeat by the protagonist. It went without saying that power came with handling the Darlaean birthstone, and that much sheer power always scared you—even as a child. 

But you were still fascinated with your birthstone. It was a beautiful, white diamond—so tiny, so easy to lose, that you always felt the need to guard it with your life. You loved the way it would glint in the sunlight and cast small rainbows on your palm. You loved the way it felt when you carefully rolled it around in your hands, memorizing its shape and size. You even adored that it wasn’t a perfect sphere and had a little characteristic black carbon spot near its surface. You used to tell your parents that you could tell your birthstone apart from an entire heap of other diamonds. They’d always laugh and pat your head as if you were telling a joke, but you were always serious.

Your birthstone became your most prized possession. You polished it, sang to it, treated it as your doll, which your parents also found quite humorous. Though you weren’t familiar yet with how to use your birthstone to channel magic, you could already feel the sheer energy coursing through your veins every time you picked it up. It was such a good, intense feeling that you would often beg your parents—whoever didn’t have her nose stuck in a book—to reach for the tin hidden on the bookshelf so you could hold your birthstone in your hands again. 

As you grew in age, your parents became more lenient with their household rules. They allowed you to eat sweets before bedtime. They began letting you sleep in during the weekends. They no longer kept the tin can far out of your reach. You realized only years later that they’d simply forgotten to hide it away once their research began picking up and their schedules became hectic. But you didn’t mind so much that your parents could no longer read to you before bed every night and were no longer present during dinnertime. Living in the 11th city, where you were practically the only child in a place bustling with well-read adult scholars, forced you to appreciate your own company.

You continued reading your adventure-filled fairytales, living vicariously through the topsy-turvy lives of legends and heroes. The best tales were always the ones with happy endings. And happy endings came when the protagonist was strong enough to defeat the villain. It made you starry-eyed and hopeful. When the world became doused in flames one day, you dreamed of being the one to extinguish them. Or, at least play a small part in it. And what better way to prepare for this moment than to practice your magic?

You spent hours hunched over on the floor of your living room, experimenting with your birthstone. The familiar smell of eucalyptus, the emerald green carpet underneath your legs, the wax candles lining the edge of the room (a total fire hazard amongst all of the books surrounding it)—they’re all sensories so familiar to you. Of course, on some days, patches of that emerald green carpet would be a bright shade of orange or clashing stripes of yellow and magenta. Sometimes the beige wax candles would flicker green for a moment. Other times, the eucalyptus leaves would turn a bright shade of pink.

You liked this natural ability to make changes. It started off small as color-shifting, temporarily changing the colors and patterns of any household item you could find—once even the grass patch outside your house, which nearly gave your good old neighbors a heart attack. But your abilities soon developed into size-shifting as well. Once, with a bit of luck, you managed to shrink an entire stack of books and in your excitement, displayed your fine work to your parents. Yet instead of being proud of you, your parents had a joint mental breakdown, for the stack of books you shrunk had been their lifelong research. Lucky for them, however, your alchemy skills lacked the finesse to make permanent changes, and in seconds, their research reverted safely back to its normal size in a few minutes. Even still, from that point forward, you avoided experimenting on books for your parents’ mental sake.

On your tenth birthday, your parents surprised you with a gift. You remember looking at the slender, mahogany box, excitement bubbling inside of you. Gifts on special occasions weren’t very normal in your household; birthdays usually passed uncelebrated, which you never really minded, but that only made this gift so much more special.

Yet inside the box was an ugly, gray quill, and right before the plumage began on the stem, your precious birthstone sat studded. You stared at it with a confused look on your face.

“It’s your trinket, dear,” Ma said with an excited smile. “Go on, take it out!”

Mother was also smiling, though she wasn’t as enthusiastic as Ma. “Quill trinkets are all the rage these days, Y/N.”

“It’s perfect for a scholar-to-be like you, honey,” Ma said.

Though you should’ve been grateful that your parents went out of their way to give you a trinket—something you’ll likely have until the rest of your life—it was hard to be happy when it was so… ugly. Though you never exactly had a dream trinket as many others do (you’ve always been more interested in the birthstone itself), nothing about a quill trinket sounded desirable to you. It was forgettable. Drab-looking, too. And you could already picture yourself running after it flying away in the wind.

Your mothers quickly caught on to your distaste.

“You don’t like it,” Mother said, her eyebrows furrowing just slightly.

“Eunbi, I told you you shouldn’t have asked Kihoon of all people for trinket suggestions for little girls!” Ma said accusingly. “What would a forty-year-old man know about what a child would want?”

“She’ll grow into it, Sura,” Mother said. “She’ll appreciate it when she’s older.”

“Face it, Eunbi. We fucked up. What ten-year-old would want a damn quill as her trinket?”

“I said, she’ll grow into it.”

“I like my trinket,” you lied to ease the tension in the air. “I really do like it, Ma. Please don’t be angry.”

She looked at you, shaking her head, her dangly earrings swaying back and forth. “Honey, I’m a divinist. You don’t need to lie.”

“I’m not lying.”

“Don’t lie to Ma,” Mother said.

“I’m not!”

“We can get you a new trinket,” Ma said. “Something that you like.”

“We have a conference next week,” Mother reminded Ma. “We won’t have time.”

“That’s okay,” you told them. “I like this one already.”

They were skeptical, but you proved to them that you did, in fact, like your trinket by carrying it around everywhere, keeping the gray thing pinned to your hair, behind your ear. But on particularly windy days, you always opted to stay home. 

Yet never once did you ever consider getting a new trinket; your parents would be devastated. And even with your lacking relationship with them, you never wanted to be their source of trouble. Besides, the heroes in your fairy tales told white lies to save others’ feelings, anyway, and you looked up to these heroes, so it was only natural for you to mirror their behavior. After a while, the quill trinket became a part of you, and you learned to cherish it—but only after you found a way to temporarily color-shift it into more appealing hues.

Your parents didn’t interfere with your life too much, but perhaps that was a good thing. You had more time for yourself. They did, however, occasionally ask how your grades were in school, being scholars and all. It made you feel a degree of pressure to perform well in academia. And for a while, you believed you would one day become an alchemist scholar, which would break your parents’ hearts if you told them, so you never did. They always believed you’d become a divinist as they were, which made sense considering there weren’t many moments where you sat down to discuss with them. So you continued to keep to yourself and read your fairytales as a source of company.

These stories quickly became your solace. On your short walks to school, you liked to pretend you were one of the busy adults, sticking your nose in your books and beelining to your destination. Except, while you were reading tales of great courage and empathy, they were reading their serious manuscripts. 

But your childhood wasn’t spent completely alone. You had plenty of friends from school, but they all lived in the 10th city, and you never wanted to bother your parents’ frequent silent reading times to invite them over to your home in the 11th. Besides, you preferred being alone. Other children sometimes tired you, though you never understood why. Perhaps it was because you quickly realized that there was a disconnect.

“My ma said that Pa’s gonna come back this winter! Maybe he’ll bring back some gifts!”

“Where did your pa go?” you’d asked, genuinely curious.

“Don’t you know? Jisun’s father went to war.”

“War?”

There are gasps.

“Y/N, you don’t know that there’s a war?!”

“How do you not know?”

“Why do you think we’re not allowed to go to the 1st city anymore?”

“O-Oh… I…” You had no excuse other than the fact that you were never taught that there was a war. Your parents never mentioned it, and you assumed the wars in your fairytales were always fiction. 

“That’s funny, Y/N. I always thought you were gonna fight in the war.”

“Me too!”

“Me?” you asked, bewildered.

“You always carry your trinket with you,” Jisun said, pointing at the pink feather behind your ear. “My ma says only soldiers carry around their trinkets everywhere.”

“I-I just like having it near me…” The heroes in your fairytales carried their trinkets everywhere, to be able to react swiftly when problems occurred. 

“My ma won’t even let me leave the house carrying my birthstone,” Jisun continued. “Do your parents want you to become a soldier?”

“No…”

“Oh.” There is a slight pause. “Wanna grab pastries at the bakery? It’s in the 10th city, though.”

“I’m okay,” you said. “I have to go home.”

You’d quickly left that day, locking yourself in your room and staring up at your ceiling in deep thought. A week later, you finally built up the courage to confront your parents.

“Mother, Ma, is there a war?” 

Both of your parents looked up from their readings in shock.

“Oh, honey…” Ma said. “Yes… the war…”

The ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ got caught in your throat, but it didn’t matter that you didn’t say it because they seemed to glean it from your expression, anyway.

“We didn’t want you to panic,” Mother said. “But the war has been going on for decades. Over a century, even. It’s a stupid game of power, anyway. The only thing affected by it is the lives of pathetic soldiers.”

“Eunbi!” Ma said. “She’s a child. Let’s try to have some filter, please.”

“She needs to face the reality of the war,” Mother said. She turned to you. “Don’t waste your time and breath on it, Y/N. We’re all above it.”

“My friends told me that they thought I wanted to be a soldier.”

“What?!” Mother said, clearly offended for you. “How?”

“Because I always carry my trinket around.”

“They… don’t carry their trinkets around?” Ma asked.

“No, Ma, they don’t have trinkets yet,” you said.

“What do you mean they don’t have trinkets yet?” Mother frowned.

“Well… It’s just that they’re not allowed to leave the house with their birthstones,” you tried to explain.

Ma turned to Mother, her earrings swaying to and fro. “Did we give her access to her birthstone too early?”

“...Mayhaps,” Mother said. “But it’s too late now.” She made eye contact with you. “Don’t listen to them, Y/N. They don’t know what they’re talking about. You’re all children,” she said, shaking her head. “You’re not going to be a soldier. That would simply be preposterous.”

“Yes, Eunbi is right,” Ma said, nodding her head. “You’re our destined little scholar, sweetheart.”

Your interactions with your parents were sparse, but that never meant that they didn’t care about you. They found their own ways to show you love, which would have baffled your friends, but your mothers’ peculiar parenting was what you were used to and what you found comfortable. They would often leave new books on your desk. These books were never fairytales—mostly divinist research. But there were occasional alchemy books, too, which you would read over and over again when you were looking for something heavier than your usual fairytales. On weeks when your parents were away to attend conferences, they left you a few extra notes to spend at the mini-markets in the 8th city. They would also leave your thick peacoat out on your chair before you left for school in the mornings if they foresaw the weather taking a cold turn later in the day.

They simply didn’t have time to show it much, but they loved you. And strangely, all you wanted to do was to make them proud, which made you hide away the side of you that longed to become a hero, a successful alchemist—for their sake. 

But there were still parts of your parents that you never quite understood.

They often talked about the 12th city, where the castle grounds lay.

“Oh, Eunbi, wouldn’t it be so nice if we could continue our research as royal divinists?”

“Yes, Sura, that does sound quite nice.”

But these conversations never amounted to anything. All your parents ever did was read; you seldom ever saw them write or conduct an experiment to back their claims. But they were divinists, and they were often blinded by their version of the future, no matter how idealistic it was. You didn’t like that they did this, of course. The heroes in your stories set off to make change; they would save entire towns and cities and kingdoms—sometimes even the world. You didn’t understand why your parents were so content with being stagnant on research that could allegedly impact so much. 

As you grew older, your patience with your parents grew thin. Maybe there was a little bit of resentment there as well, for how could you flourish and become the best version of yourself if your own two parents had made no progress at all? You wanted to make them feel proud, but you began wondering if they would even care if you achieved anything. It was a horrible thought to have. And maybe it was because you were 12 and your rebellious pre-teen phase was kicking in; you were at that age where everything your parents advised you to do sounded stupid or like a mere suggestion. Or maybe this was how you should have always felt, instead of forgiving them and loving them unconditionally. These thoughts and feelings bubbled up inside of you until one day, they burst.

“Alchemy?” Mother said with a frown on her face. “You never showed any interest in it… Sura, what do you think?”

Ma was also frowning. “I don’t know, sweetheart,” she told you. “Why such a sudden change?”

“There was never a change,” you tried to clarify. “I’ve always been interested in alchemy.”

“I don’t know, Y/N,” Mother sighed. “We always assumed you were going to be a divinist.”

“But how?” you said, growing frustrated. “Did I ever read your canvases with you? Did I ever play with your runes? Have you ever seen me pick up your research manuscripts?”

“Well, no, but honey, interests change,” Ma said gently. “Divination… Well, it’s in your blood, sweetheart.” Her nose ring seemed to twinkle as she said this, along with her dozens of other piercings. They did that a lot when she was deep in thought, which was just about every second of the day. Usually, you thought the light was pretty; today, you found it annoying.

“We don’t want you to go down an unfamiliar route,” Mother said.

“Yes, Eunbi’s right. You could get yourself hurt without our guidance.”

You had to resist the urge to ask them, ‘Guidance? What guidance?’ But you swallowed those words. It didn’t matter; they probably knew what you were thinking. “You wouldn’t understand,” you told them instead. “Alchemy is what diamonds are good at. Divinists wouldn’t get it.”

“Oh, honey, your birthstone doesn’t dictate what type of magic you decide to specialize in,” Ma said. “There are plenty of diamond holders out there who don’t practice alchemy.”

“But I’m not one of them!”

“How would you know, Y/N? If you’ve never tried divination?” Mother asked. You could tell she was starting to lose her patience. And Ma looked ready to end the conversation.

You wanted to scream. ‘How would I know? I’ll tell you how I know! Because I’ve seen how consumed the two of you have become with divination! Because it’s all talk and no action! Because pattern-recognizing and intuition-honing isn’t real magic, and I want to do something that can make a difference!’

You didn’t say a single word but you swore you saw Ma wilt a little. That’s another thing you’ve always hated about divinists. It’s like they’re always in your head.

After this argument, your parents became even less attentive to you—if that was even possible. They stopped asking about your grades in school, stopped giving you extra allowance when they left for conferences, stopped gifting you books altogether. It made you feel unloved and unwanted, though you tried to give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe their research picked up once more. Maybe they were hurt by your unsaid words and wanted some distance from you to sort their feelings out. Maybe you should apologize.

But the other part of you couldn’t understand why you should apologize for something you never said. And besides, if their love for you had purely been because they thought you were going to follow in their divinist scholar footsteps, then maybe you didn’t want anything to do with them anymore. And in that moment of sadness, confusion, and anger, you impulsively applied to the most prestigious academy in all of Darlae—in part of honing your alchemy skills but also to escape your parents, for the dorms in Botswana Agate Academy were rumored to be as lush as the chambers in the castle grounds. You didn’t think you were going to get in, but miraculously, an acceptance letter appeared in your mailbox one day. Welcome to Botswana Agate Academy, the title read. You nearly cried when you saw it. 

You told your parents, of course, and they congratulated you, as any reasonable parents would, but they weren’t so happy when they realized you were accepted into their alchemy division and that the academy required a hefty tuition fee. But attending Botswana was like a dream. They sent you a beautiful uniform, one that was as elegant and pristine as the school, and they even offered to embed your birthstone in a new trinket that was easier to carry around. You considered it, of course, but ultimately decided against it. The quill trinket was really the last thing that tied you and your parents together. And as much as you resented them, you still occasionally felt homesick and longed for the good days when they used to read to you in bed. Besides, you’ve grown quite attached to that ugly gray quill, and as impractical as it was, it was still yours. Like a little quirk. Many heroes in your stories had something that made them special, too. 

But ostensibly, you would’ve been considered special even without your unconventional trinket. Botswana taught you that you had a knack for magic. A “natural talent” was what your instructors were calling it. But they never realized how many hours of practice you put in to get this far.

You were adept in putting your skills into action, which showed that externally, you were, in a way, “talented.” But Botswana also emphasized the internal mechanisms of Darlaean magic, which included unfamiliar jargon and technical terminologies. You tried your best to keep up.

“The objective of today’s study,” Instructor Shin began, “is to delineate the differences between our two branches of magic and its three distinct types. Y/N?” she said, pushing up her silver-rimmed glasses and looking at you expectantly. With her thin eyebrows, even thinner red lips and pristine outfits, she was a respectable (and sometimes feared) instructor. Students often tried to impress her, for she was known to write excellent letters of recommendation to get into Botswana Agate’s sister academy for older students: Aven Quartz. 

You sat right up when you heard your name, your heart already thumping in your chest. Unfortunately, it was normal for instructors in Botswana to cold call, and while it wasn’t your favorite thing about the academy, you managed to survive by simply overpreparing. “If you could be so kind as to start off the lesson this morning,” Instructor Shin said in her rather soothing voice, “please give a general description, as per the assigned reading, of the two branches for the class.”

Your throat felt parched, but you spent three hours last night hunched over your textbook General Knowledge for Botswana Agate Students (the one that Instructor Shin herself wrote), reciting every line in the 50-page reading, committing it to memory, then doing it over again and over again with your own words until the chapter showed up in your dreams. Still, your mind teetered on the line of going completely blank—public speaking had never quite been your forte—but you also couldn't let your efforts go to waste. “I… I believe the two branches of magic are light and dark,” you said a little hesitantly, fiddling with the quill behind your ear. “Colloquially, we call them rational and emotional magic, but those terms are misguided and outdated. Um… dark magic, if I’m remembering correctly, is the kind of magic that requires deep focus, objective reasoning and logic to cast. If the caster is successful, we would call that charm, a hex. I believe that dark magic is said to be reliable and consistent but can behave unpredictably when attempted to be cast with emotion. And um, light magic… it’s the kind of magic that requires channeling one’s emotions to cast what we call a whim. Its range of abilities tends to fluctuate, depending on the caster’s emotional state, so it has the potential to be extremely powerful—arguably even more so than any dark magic.”

Your hands were shaking by the time you finished speaking, and it didn’t really help that Instructor Shin’s facial expressions were always unreadable, her red lips pressed together eternally. But you must’ve been correct because she gave you a small nod, thanked you for sharing and called on another student to answer another one of her questions about the reading. “Tell me, Joonhee, why are we discouraged to use light magic here in Botswana?”

Joonhee was charismatic and confident, and he never looked nervous when cold-called. “It can be dangerous,” he said without missing a beat. “We want our magic to be reliable and consistent, like Y/N said. Light magic is unpredictable and may go terribly wrong if say, the caster’s emotions are extremely negatively charged. It’s only really condoned for our soldiers to use in the war.”

“That’s correct, Joonhee,” Instructor Shin said, nodding. “Though light magic is a useful branch in the face of danger or chaos, it does not mesh well with our everyday charms. Of course, you will be naturally inclined to one of these two branches,” she told everyone, “but to do well in Botswana Agate, you must learn the importance of dark magic. Now, Jangmi, can you tell us if our birthstones dictate the branch of magic we naturally gravitate toward?”

“Our birthstones do not,” Jangmi said confidently. “But I think they do dictate the type of magic we are the best at.”

“To an extent, yes,” Instructor Shin said. “But the general consensus is that anyone can excel at either branch of magic and every type of magic. I, for one, am a so-called destined divinist,” she said, holding up her black pointer, adorned with an emerald at the top, for the entire class to see. “But I teach alchemy at Botswana. Some of you may know me as your instructor for Introduction to Alchemy, and I would like to think that I am fairly skilled at it. So, students,” she said, “never feel limited by your birthstone. Now, Donghoon, what are the three different types of magic and which birthstones are associated with what?”

But poor Donghoon looked like he forgot to do the reading yet again. “I-I… uh, a-alchemy,” he stuttered, “...and healing… um…” He struggled to recall the last one. 

“Divination,” Jangmi whispered next to him.

“Divination!” Donghoon magically remembered. “A-And… the birthstones associated… Uh…” He desperately looked down at the little pocket watch he always carried around—not to check the time, but to stare at the shining green peridot inside the glass. It seemed to make things slightly easier for him because you watched his eyes light up for a second. “For alchemy, there is peridot…” he trailed off, already stuck, but when he made eye contact with you, his eyebrows rose in remembrance: “Oh! And diamond…”

Instructor Shin was becoming impatient, however, so she interrupted him. “Let’s do our daily readings on time, Donghoon. Haeyun, could you tell us, please?”

“Yes, Instructor Shin,” Haeyun said. “There are four birthstones associated with each magic type. For healing, they are aquamarine, garnet, ruby and opal. For alchemy, they are diamond, alexandrite, peridot and citrine. For divination, they are amethyst, emerald, sapphire and zircon.”

“Correct,” Instructor Shin said. “Well, Donghoon, do you think you can enlighten us with your definition of alchemy?”

“I actually know this one!” Donghoon looked excited. “It’s the study of matter and small particles and using that knowledge to reshape our perceptions of them! The basics include color and size-shifting. More difficult charms include masking and true alchemy, which is just turning material into gold. Also, you can technically create things out of thin air, but it’s near impossible. But I’ve heard it’s been done before!” Donghoon sat back in his chair a little too smugly for someone who always neglected to do the readings. But his father was Head Instructor, so nothing could be done. 

“Very good, Donghoon,” Instructor Shin said, issuing one of her rare compliments. “You’re correct. While gold has no monetary value in Darlae, in the past, and before the blockade, we profited from our gold trade, thanks to our alchemists. You’ll learn more about this with Instructor No in Darlaean History. It is also nearly impossible, as you’ve said, to create something out of nothing, but it has been done in the past. Our head instructor, fifty years ago, accomplished this. Head Instructor Jeon was his name. He created a small wine glass from nothing, and we still have it in memory of him. It is displayed in our dining hall if you would like to see it after class,” Instructor Shin said quite proudly. “Now, who would like to explain healing and divination in their own words?”

Even though there was the constant fear of being cold-called, you quite enjoyed Instructor Shin’s General Knowledge course. It was one of those courses that every first-year Botswana Agate student was required to take—like Darlaean History—and you could see why. Though the class was often densely packed with information and the readings never seemed to end, it was also enlightening and put much of your early experience with magic into words. Some struggled with it more than others.

“Hell, I totally fucking blanked in there,” Donghoon said as he scratched his head and nearly spilled the contents of his book bag as he adjusted the shoulder straps. You helped him steady the bag and he shot you a grateful look.

“Are you sure you didn’t just forget to do the reading?” Joonhee snorted as he walked past you and Donghoon, not even giving him a chance to answer. It’s a little rude, but Joonhee’s always been like that: confident, charismatic and cocky.

“Don’t worry about him,” you told Donghoon as the two of you began to walk to your next class, which happened to be an unpopular elective called Fashion Studies. You were only placed in it because you enrolled late—your parents didn’t have the time to sign some papers that would’ve made you an official Botswana student. And Donghoon was only placed in it because he forgot to enroll in half of his classes.

“I don’t really worry,” Donghoon said. He just shrugged good-naturedly. “He and I are in different leagues. He’ll probably become the damn General of the Darlaean Army one day. I’d be lucky if I even pass a single class here.”

You frowned. “Don’t say that.”

Donghoon shrugged again. “I’m only here because of my father. Everyone knows that. I’m just waiting to be kicked out so I can achieve my lifelong dream of starting a tea shop. I don’t need alchemy for that.” He suddenly looked around to see if anyone was watching. Then, he leaned in with a mischievous look on his face. “I wouldn’t even need Darlaean magic. I’d need Solaria’s.”

You raised your eyebrows. Why was he telling you this? Was it a test to see if you agreed? He was his father’s son after all, and there was an extreme backlash in the scholar community against Head Instructor Kim for so openly supporting the Darlaean Army when Botswana instructors were to remain neutral about the war. You decided to tread carefully. “Really? With the elements and stuff?”

“Yeah,” Donghoon said. “I’d need fire to boil the water and earth for the tea leaves.” He looked at you strangely. “You’re not going to tell on me, are you? You don’t seem like the type.”

“N-No, of course not. I’m just… surprised.”

“My father and I are different people,” Donghoon said with a shrug. “He can eat shit for all I care. I don’t support the war. It’s just stupid. People dying left and right. And for what?”

“People die out there?” you asked incredulously.

“What did you think they were doing? Playing tea party? Of course they die out there—our people, their people. We just don’t hear the stories because we’re so far in, you know, being in the 11th city most of the time. Most of our parents are rich enough to keep us sheltered. And we sure as hell don’t learn about it in Darlaean History ‘cause ‘neutrality’ and all that bull. But we might start this new curriculum focusing solely on Solarian war crimes. Courtesy of my father, you know. He thinks it’ll help with showcases, which are military propaganda by the way.”

“Oh…” This conversation surprised you. Donghoon was often characterized as stupid and ditzy by others. He’s the spoiled, stuck-up brat who leeched off of his successful father and had rocks for brains. But that most certainly wasn’t correct. It simply looked like he cared about things outside what Botswana could offer.

“Anyways,” Donghon sighed, “you’re smart, so I’m sure you’ll make correct judgments.” When he caught you frowning, he grinned. “You act humbly, but you’re top of your classes.”

Your face heated up. “Oh, I… I still don’t understand why they publicly post the class rankings…”

“It’s ‘tradition for excellence,’” Donghoon mockingly quoted while holding in a laugh. “And it’s supposed to motivate people like me. Obviously, it’s not working. Anyways, you know, you’re really good at alchemy. Really, really good.”

“O-Oh,” you said, feeling bashful. “Thanks. But I’m not naturally good or anything. I just put in a lot of effort.”

“Mhm sure. There are people like Jangmi who put in the effort but still can’t cast charms successfully, you know. She’s within the top ten in every class except Intro to Alch—the only class that doesn’t use a textbook. Magic doesn’t come so intuitively for others.”

Donghoon was strangely observant. You looked at him in surprise. “I didn’t know…”

Your response must have not been so satisfactory. “Hmph. You’re pretty shy, aren’t you?” Donghoon said. “I feel like every time we talk, well, I’m the one who’s talking.”

That made you crack a smile. “I enjoy listening.”

“Well, I enjoy talking.” Donghoon mirrored your smile. “Anyways, let’s go make some damn clothes while people die on the battlegrounds!”

From that point forward, you and Donghoon became close friends. He was easy to be around and didn’t see you as a competition as many of the other students did. He also always declined your offers to study with him, saying that it was only a matter of time before his father would have no choice but to let him drop out of the academy. “I’m aiming for failing grades in every single class,” he told you on your way to Introduction to Alchemy with Instructor Shin.

“Your tea shop dream would be closer than ever,” you said with a smile.

“You get me, Y/N,” was his enthused response as the two of you found your seats in the classroom in the second row.

Today’s class focused solely on color-shifting. Instructor Shin handed out red apples and told everybody to turn them blue. She gave no further instruction, stepping back and simply watching. For you, this was a simple task; after all, you’ve been color-shifting for more than half of your life now. First, you must become extremely aware of the feather behind your ear, feeling the power emanating from your birthstone. Then, closing your eyes, you imagined a world where apples were blue. They’ve always been blue! It was quite the norm. Blue apples growing on trees, blue apple pies, blue apple jam—you’ve all seen it before. Every time you’ve bitten into an apple, its skin has been a beautiful, shiny, navy blue. Why should the apple in front of you be any different? 

When you opened your eyes, sure enough, the apple sitting in front of you was blue—the same deep blue you’d imagined in your head.

Instructor Shin’s eyebrows rose, but she didn’t say anything.

Donghoon laughed. “Y/N, in three seconds?!”

You could feel the heat crawl onto your cheeks as you felt every students’ eyes on you. Particularly, you felt Joonhee’s glare at the back of your head. And for the next several minutes, you watched the students around you try their hand at color-shifting for the first time. Most of them were able to change the color of their apples, but it was rarely ever blue. You saw a lot of purples and oranges. And Donghoon, who by habit only practiced light magic, accidentally cast a frustrated whim, which made the apple rot rapidly before your shared desk.

He snorted at his own failure and turned to you. “See?” he said. “I told you that you’re good.”

“I’ve just done this before,” you said.

“How?” Donghoon asked. “Didn’t your parents restrict your birthstone access until you were accepted to Botswana? I know a lot of families who did that in the 10th city.”

“Not really,” you said. “They let me carry it around since I was ten.”

“Hell, they really trusted you.”

It was always a little more like they didn’t trust themselves with you, but Donghoon didn’t have to know that. And besides, now you were partly thankful for your parents’ negligence. It looked like strict parenting stanched magical growth. But thinking about your parents made you feel a little guilty inside since you knew full well that you partly applied to Botswana to escape them after your horrible argument. Still, you tried not to show your inner turmoils and shrugged.

“I guess they did,” you said. “You need me to shift that back? Temporarily, though. I don’t think I’m good enough to do it permanently.”

Donghoon’s eyes widened. “You know how to do that?”

“I’ve never tried, but all I’d have to do is imagine a world where nothing ever rots. And that it’s always been that way.”

“Dark magic, huh?” Donghoon said. “I didn’t pin you for that type, but you’re good.”

You shrugged, and in a few seconds’ time, the apple looked ripe and red again—at least for the remaining class period. You and Donghoon fell into deep conversation after that, mostly Donghoon complimenting your skills and you becoming embarrassed. The two of you failed to notice Instructor Shin looking straight at you with an unreadable look on her face.

Every circa, Botswana Agate Academy invited each student’s parents to what they called Consulting. This entailed the student’s instructors reviewing the student’s standing in their classes and offering the student potential career pathways or advice to excel in the future. Most parents who sent their children to Botswana wanted to know anything and everything about how their money was being used. Your parents, unfortunately, had to attend a last-minute divination conference with their fellow scholars. So last-minute that in fact, rescheduling your Consulting was impossible.

So you sat awkwardly before your three instructors, nervously playing with your trinket behind your ear. “I’m sorry,” you said, embarrassed. “I told them the date three weeks ago… And reminded them frequently…”

“It’s no matter,” Instructor Shin said. “Consulting only concerns you, Kwang Y/N, so you’re all we need to begin.” She shuffled the small stack of papers in front of her and her two co-instructors. “Your rankings are considerably high,” she began. “In the top fifty for all four of your classes. Number one for Introduction to Alchemy, among 600 other students. You’re off to an excellent start.”

You’ve never been able to take compliments well. “Thank you,” you squeaked, awkwardly looking at your hands.

“You naturally gravitate towards dark magic and you were accepted into our alchemy division, so I assume you are also alchemy-inclined.”

You nodded.

“I have a question for you, Y/N,” Instructor Shin suddenly said, which surprised you, for she was always the kind of person who knew everything. “Your parents are divinist scholars, yes? Did they also teach you the ropes of alchemy?”

You shook your head. “No, Instructor Shin. They didn’t.”

“Self-taught?”

“Well, I read many books,” you said. “Um… fairytales, really. But a lot of the… um, a lot of the heroes were alchemy-inclined, so naturally…” It felt so stupid to admit.

Instructor Shin nodded. “I am impressed,” she said, to your surprise. “I have not met many students who have taught themselves the ropes of dark alchemy so well in quite a long time. I want you to audit my Advanced Alchemy course, and if that feels like a better fit, I want you to take it instead of your introductory course and skip the intermediate course entirely. How does that sound?”

Your eyes widened. “A-Amazing,” you managed to whisper in awe. “T-Thank you. Thank you, Instructor Shin.” 

It almost felt like a dream. You? How could someone like you impress someone so skilled and intelligent as Instructor Shin? Not only did she want you to skip one course level but also two? How highly did she think of you to suggest such a thing? You would be sitting in class with students two or three years older than you!

It was the dream—to be able to hone your alchemy skills and actually be challenged in class. And yet… You nervously began to play with the feather behind your ear. Why did you suddenly feel an empty pit in your stomach? It was that feeling of dread, which was the last thing you should be feeling with all this good news. But you couldn’t help it. The thing about good first impressions was that there wasn’t much room to be better. (The charismatic villain in your fairytales always gave off a great first impression!) So how long would it take for Instructor Shin to be disappointed in you? How long would it take before you simply became another student in the crowd for her? How long would it take for you to lose the only support you’ve ever had?

You were no prodigy. You were definitely not a genius, either. What Instructor Shin didn’t know was the amount of time and effort you’ve put into your craft. You didn’t wake up one day able to color-shift in the blink of an eye. You worked your way up to it with much trial and error and sleepless nights in your living room. Your peers simply weren’t given access to their birthstones as early as you were. If they had, they’d probably be at your skill level or even higher. So what if you weren’t able to keep up? What if Advanced Alchemy ended up being too advanced for you? How disappointed would Instructor Shin be?

She seemed to sense your uncertainty, which was so palpable that even a non-divinist could feel it. To your surprise, she smiled, her thin red lips curving slightly upwards. You’ve never seen her do such a thing. But her smile was kind and warm and softened her eyes, and it alone almost made you feel a little better.

“My care for my students is never conditional,” she said gently.

Your head jerked up as you met her stare with startled eyes.

“No matter what you achieve and don’t achieve, I will always wish you the best,” Instructor Shin said. “But you don’t need to worry too much. I believe your accomplishments will stretch far beyond what Botswana Agate can offer. I don’t have to be a royal divinist to see it.” 

An unconditional support system. It felt almost unheard of—something you’ve only ever seen in fairytales. You’ve tiptoed around your parents for years in fear that they would treat you differently after you confessed to them that divination in your future wasn’t likely. In fact, they did treat you differently after your confession, which you supposed subconsciously taught you that maybe their care was somewhat conditional. 

So to have an adult tell you that they would never retract their care for you… It defied everything you’ve known up until now. 

You could feel the emotions swelling in your chest. On the one hand, you were grateful. You’ve always dreamed of having a mentor in your life who truly, absolutely cared for you, and you’ve finally found one. But on the other hand, what about your parents? How was it that an instructor you’ve known for one circa understood you better than your parents ever have? They couldn’t even come to your Consulting! Couldn’t make a thirty-minute slot in their schedules for you. But here you were, hearing from Instructor Shin that you were an excellent student. They would never know of it. Nor did you think they’d care. Or maybe they would. Maybe they were still waiting for you to apologize for that day. A small part of you wished that was true. Because them being angry at you would be infinitely better than them not simply caring. But deep down inside, you knew what was really the case.

Before you knew it, tears streamed down your face.

At first, they were tears of sadness, for you couldn’t help but pity yourself and feel horrible that you continued to push your parents away from your life. But when Instructor Shin took a sheet of paper from the stack in front of her and masked it into a handkerchief, handing it to you with a look of endearment on her face, your tears of sadness turned into tears of joy.

You wanted to achieve great things—not for fame, not for recognition—but for a cause bigger than yourself. Instructor Shin believed in you, so what was really stopping you? You wanted to leave a mark, an impact. Just like the heroes in your fairytales. Every great hero had a mentor who pushed them to be better and inspired them to be resilient. While dabbing your tears away, you vowed that you would work harder than ever before, for now, you had Instructor Shin, who was willing to give you unconditional support. Your dream of one day becoming a hero—of any scale—felt closer than ever before.

Surprisingly enough, Fashion Studies was quite interesting. There were no required readings, no required magic skill set. All you had to bring to the class was a creative mind and a penchant for aesthetics. There, you learned about different fabrics, textures, colors, and the latest fashion trends in Darlae. At first, you and Donghoon couldn’t care much about clothes, but by the end of the second circa at Botswana, the two of you were speaking in common fashion parlance, going on frequent shopping trips in the 8th city and finding the school uniforms to be restricting your artistic freedom. 

In your second Consulting at Botswana Agate, your Fashion Studies instructor, Instructor Yang noted that he never met students like you and Donghoon who were so excited to take his measly fashion course. Most students took electives that required “a little more brain-power” as Instructor Yang put it. You thought it was hilarious to hear that Donghoon was at the top of the class for Fashion Studies, which was the complete opposite of what he wanted.

“I got a little carried away,” was his excuse when you told him the news. “Hell, I’m gonna need to start slacking for my ultimate plan to work. There’s no way I’m going to let this class be the single piece of evidence my father uses to force me to stay here.”

With Donghoon trying to come up with more and more creative ways of getting expelled (refusing to wear the school uniform, never doing his homework, arriving to exams an entire hour late), your first year at Botswana was never dull.

Your Advanced Alchemy class was the perfect fit for your skill level too. You were being challenged (but not so much that you felt like you were behind), and the older students didn’t really see you as a competition but respected you as one of their peers. They also told you everything you needed to know about Botswana Agate—the good and the bad. But mostly the bad. 

“Did you know there are rumors that the curriculum at the academy will change soon?”

“They’re going to make it pro-war, those bastards.”

“Head Instructor Kim is going to run this place to the fucking ground.”

“I heard they’re going to be making courses centered around light magic.”

“That’s bullshit!”

“I mean, you’ve seen how often soldiers have been patrolling the corridors and listening in on our classes, right? They’re totally trying to recruit for the army.”

“Yeah, I heard they’re going to start making showcases mandatory.”

“The next thing you know they’re going to make military enlistment mandatory.”

“I heard it’s like that in Solaria.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, they just knock on your door, drag you out and force you to fight.”

“Where did you hear that from?”

“Well… To be honest, from our soldiers. So it could also be stupid propaganda. I mean, since we’re on a volunteer-based enlistment and our army would do anything to look better than the Solarians. But who knows? Things are changing.”

“I wouldn’t put it past them. If I were them, I’d be embarrassed that the war’s been dragging on for this long. It’s crazy that neither side has agreed to a truce.”

If there was one thing you knew very clearly about Botswana students it was that most of them hated the war. It must be some sort of scholarly instinct. But, of course, there were always outliers.

Joonhee and his band of friends were as pro-army as one could get. They saluted every soldier they passed in the corridors, straightening up their posture and pressing two fingers to their forehead with their other arm glued to their side. You knew Donghoon was joking when he said that Joonhee would one day become the General of the Darlaean Army, but it didn’t really seem like a joke anymore. 

“He’s batshit crazy, that one,” Donghoon told you, shaking his head. “He has to be the dumbest genius alive to waste his talents in the army.”

“Do you really think that they’re going to start to make showcases mandatory?” you said, brows furrowing.

“The parents would never approve,” Donghoon said. “Except my father. Even your parents don’t support the war.”

“So who the hell supports it?”

“Unfortunately, just about every other city,” he said with a shrug. “It’s just that scholars don’t believe in violence to solve problems. That and we don’t have that much hatred in our hearts.”

“I don’t get why your father can support the war, then.”

“Honestly, I think he’s after the money. You know, we get paid just to let the soldiers walk around our campus. The army thinks it’s ‘good exposure’ since they’re looking to recruit top talent.”

“Top talent, huh?” You sighed. “Your father must be getting paid one hell of a lot to let them change Botswana’s curriculum.”

“How do you think we bought our new summer home?” Donghoon laughed but soon stopped when you didn’t follow.

“I don’t get it,” you said. “Why would anyone want to go to war? Don’t you die out there?”

“Maybe they like the thrill,” Donghoon said. “I don’t get it either. You should ask Joonhee. He looks like he’s ready to enlist any day now.”

“But we’re only 12!”

“The younger the better,” Donghoon said. “We’re more malleable that way.”

“Malleable…” you repeated. 

For someone who claimed they never read, Donghoon had quite the vocabulary. He cursed like a sailor, too, which you’ve unintentionally begun picking up. But besides the influence of linguistics, the more time you spent with Donghoon, the more you became impressed with his character. To you, Donghoon was the protagonist in your fantasy novels—a little bit of an outcast but with a set purpose in life and a passion that never seemed to dull. He may be thought of as goofy by his peers and instructors, but it was all calculated. He was a lot smarter and wiser than people thought. And you liked that he knew so much more than you. You had a lot to learn.

“You know, the soldiers have been looking at the class rankings these days,” Donghoon told you, giving you a meaningful look.

“The rankings?” you said, a frown creasing your forehead.

“Yeah. I’d say expect to be harassed by them very, very soon,” he said. 

Sometimes it seemed like everyone except you was a divinist.

Donghoon’s prediction came true in just two days when three soldiers barged into your classroom, swinging the doors open so violently that they banged raucously against the walls. Their jet-black uniforms (even with the silver and purple stitchings) made them look like soot against the pure white interior of the room—like they didn’t belong here. And they didn’t. You could think of at least five other uniform designs that would’ve looked less intimidating, but perhaps intimidation was what they were going for. 

The loud noise interrupted Instructor Shin mid-sentence and she glared at the intruders for a split second before continuing her lecture on Darlae’s 12 cities as if nothing had happened at all. 

“Ahem.”

Instructor Shin ignored the soldier clearing his throat.

“Ahem.”

At this point, most if not every student had turned their heads toward the three soldiers at the back of the class, wondering if anyone was in trouble. Soldiers often audited classes but they never interrupted or drew attention to themselves. So this was quite new.

“If you could so kindly clear your throat outside so my students could continue with their lesson,” Instructor Shin sighed, looking up to glare at the soldiers. They looked unfazed, however.

“We’d like a word with a few of your students,” the soldier who was having problems with his throat spoke. 

“Then it must wait until after class,” Instructor Shin said, swiftly. She pointed at the door with her black pointer. “Please kindly leave.”

“This is an order,” the soldier said, not moving one bit.

“Oh, yes, from who?” Instructor Shin asked, her eyebrows raising as they did when she believed one was lying.

“From Head Instructor Kim.”

Instructor Shin didn’t miss a beat. “I don’t take orders from that individual,” she answered, and before he could retort back, she continued: “You are walking on the territory of scholars, soldier. We do not follow orders from anyone here. We question and we think for ourselves. You may suggest and you may discuss, but you do not order—especially not in my classroom.” She paused, still glaring at the three soldiers. “You may leave now.”

The atmosphere in the room grew tense when they didn’t. 

“I’m under the impression that you’re merely suggesting we leave,” the soldier said, crossing his arms over his chest. “And we are suggesting speaking to some of your students.”

Donghoon gave you a look from right next to you, and you can read what he meant as clear as day. ‘Can you fucking believe the nerve?’

“I will not allow my students to follow you out of my classroom and away from my supervision,” Instructor Shin said. “What you need to say to those students, you will say to everyone in this room.”

“You’re difficult, aren’t you?” the soldier said.

“As are you,” she replied. “Well? Don’t waste our time, now, soldier. Share with the class what was so important that you had to interrupt precious class time for.”

Another soldier stepped up, as if on cue, and pulled out a list from inside her stiff coat. “Lee Joonhee, Kwang Y/N, Choi Jangmi,” she read off in a monotone voice. Your eyes widened when you heard your name. “You have been selected as the top students in this cohort of the General Knowledge course. The Darlaean Army recognizes your excellent academic standing and would like to extend an offer to join our rigorous training program for adolescents. This is a valuable opportunity to strengthen your magic with future leaders of the army and prepare to fight for your nation to defeat our common enemy. Congratulations on your selection and we await your decision to accept.”

You could almost hear the ‘I told you so’ that Donghoon didn’t say but was most definitely thinking. 

There was also a deafening and painfully awkward silence that followed after the soldier’s speech. It seemed like everyone was staring at you, Joonhee and Jangmi. The other two were practically bathing in the spotlight, but you suddenly felt the need to duck down and hide from the unwanted stares.

The bigger issue, though, was the fact that the soldiers still hadn’t left the classroom. Did they expect the three of you to decide whether you would accept on the spot? And if so, how would you let them down politely but firmly? It was really no question that you didn’t want this. Why the hell would you want to uproot your perfectly fine life at Botswana to join some training program that would inevitably make a soldier out of you? The last thing you wanted was to become involved in the war. So why were they acting as if this was a wonderful opportunity for you? War was where you went to die. How could you set yourself up for death when you had yet so much to accomplish?

“I accept!” Joonhee announced, interrupting your thoughts. “I happily accept, sir.” He saluted dutifully. “Thank you!”

You and Jangmi glanced at each other.

“I’d like some more time to decide,” Jangmi finally said.

You could feel your heart beating in your head. Now all eyes were on you, awaiting your answer, and you hated it. You didn’t owe the army anything, so why was it so damn hard to say no? You could also use Jangmi’s answer to stall for some time, but that would mean they’d hunt you down later to get a definitive response. Should you keep your rejection short and simple? Or did you need to explain yourself to keep them from getting offended? But then again, why would you care that they’ll be offended? They were clearly not-so-great people, disrespecting Instructor Shin in front of her own students! Yes, you should simply reject them. They’re used to curt replies, you assumed, taking orders from right and left, so it couldn’t hurt them if you declined their offer.

With a deep breath, you collected the strength to finally give your response. But it came out as a loud, flat, echoing, “NO.”

The sound of your own voice startled you; it also seemed to startle many others as your classmates stared at you in what you thought looked like disbelief. But it made sense. You usually never spoke so curtly, and you surely never had a reason to raise your voice. You were immediately scrambling to explain yourself. “I-I mean, no thank you… sir. I mean, sirs. I-I would… I would like to focus on my studies.”

“Very well,” the throat-clearing prone soldier said. He didn’t sound disappointed, though he did still look mildly annoyed from the encounter he just had with Instructor Shin. He and the two other soldiers saluted to no one in particular, and they finally exited the classroom. 

When the heavy white doors slammed shut, loud chatter uptook the room. You and Donghoon watched as everyone else began to swarm around Joonhee.

“Why did you accept so quickly?”

“Are you going to drop out of Botswana?”

“Do your parents know?”

“Your parents are going to kill you!”

“Quiet!” Instructor Shin yelled in a voice so loud it echoed in the commodious room. Silence. Everybody scrambled back into their seats. Instructor Shin sighed as she gripped the edges of the marble podium. “I apologize for the distraction and for my harsh behavior. As you may already be aware, things are shifting here at Botswana Agate Academy. The army is looking to expand, and they would like to join hands with Darlae’s brightest. You will learn more about the war once some new courses are approved. I’m afraid it won’t be anything like Darlaean History, for those of you who enjoy that course. Things are changing, indeed…” She sighed again, shaking her head. “But for now, we will continue our lesson, students. And Joonhee? I’d like to see you after class.”

Everyone ooh-ed.

Donghoon rolled his eyes but you frowned. 

“What do you think she held him back for?” you asked Donghoon as the two of you walked out of Instructor Shin’s class.

“Probably to warn him about the army,” Donghoon said, shrugging. “Let him go for all I care. He’ll become General one day.”

“Do you think Jangmi’s going to end up declining the offer?”

“Maybe,” Donghoon said. “I’m not sure. Her parents are scholars like yours, though, so they’ll probably never let her go.” He turned to you with a smile on your face. “But good for you for yelling their rejection to their faces.”

“I didn’t mean to yell!”

“Well, you did, Y/N,” Donghoon laughed. “They’re delusional if they think you’d ever join their stupid little fistfight club.”

“I just think it’s crazy they singled us out,” you said. “It must be some sort of strategy. You know, to make us feel special and accept their offer. They made it sound so grand, too.”

“It’s all bullshit,” Donghoon snorted. “Let’s hope they don’t follow you around, though. I’ve heard they’ve been doing that to a few upperclassmen.”

Donghoon’s hopes, unfortunately, didn’t come true. By the time you were back home from the academy for winter recess, your parents had a stack of letters from the army waiting for you in your bedroom. 

“Honey?” Ma asked, a crease on her forehead. “Have you been getting involved with the army?”

“No,” you said, sighing as you threw the letters in the trash. “I’m just on their radar.”

“Their radar?” Mother said, crossing her arms over her chest. “It’s that pathetic Head Instructor of yours. Money-hungry pig.”

“Eunbi…” Ma said gently.

“It needs to be said,” Mother replied curtly.

“I’ve just been… Well, I know you haven’t been able to be there for my past Consultings, but I’ve been doing well at the academy,” you said, though admitting it feels a little strange. “I received an invitation to join their rigorous training program for adolescents. But don’t worry!” you quickly added after seeing your parents’ faces. “I declined.”

“They don’t take rejection well, it seems,” Mother snorted. “A couple of soldiers have been showing up at our doorstep and asking for you.”

“They have?” you asked in shock. 

Ma nodded. “But once we move, we should be left alone for a while. ”

“Not unless they’re so desperate they find our new address,” Mother said, shaking her head.

“Move?” you asked, eyes widening. “Why are we moving?”

You’ve lived in this home for as long as you can remember. How could you let go of the cozy living room with its infinite number of reading nooks? The tall windows, the emerald green carpet, and the security of your room—you didn’t want to leave it.

You caught Ma giving Mother a worried look, and Mother cleared her throat. “Well…” She sighed. “Y/N, as divinist scholars, Sura and I make sacrifices to continue our research. You know that, don’t you? Recently… we have realized that our finances have been…” She searched for a word. “Bare.”

“Bare?” you repeated. Are we poor? you wanted to ask. 

Ma answered anyway. “We’re not poor yet, sweetheart. We’re just a little in the rough, that’s all.”

“Sura and I have got it under control,” Mother said. “We’ll sell this home and move into a smaller one.”

“Nothing to worry about,” Ma said with a smile. It looked strained.

Your heart sank.

It was something to worry about. Your parents had been researching their entire lives, but they had never been close to bankruptcy. It dawned on you rather quickly that the only reason they were struggling now was you. You and Botswana Agate Academy. 

“I can drop out,” you offered. As soon as the words left your mouth, you regretted it. What if your parents agreed? What if they did pull you out of Botswana? The palace-like architecture, the beautiful classrooms, dining hall, dorms… The endless knowledge in the grand libraries… Hell, it was like a second home to you. Your very own fairytale. Donghoon would also be absolutely livid that you were able to leave before him. And what about Instructor Shin? Your unconditional supporter? She would be so disappointed.

“That’s not an option, Y/N,” Mother said, to your surprise. “You will finish your education—whether it’s in divination or not.”

“Yes,” Ma agreed. “We couldn’t ask you to make sacrifices, honey.”

You didn’t argue against that—you didn’t want to.

But it still hurt a few circas later when your parents greeted you at the new doorstep of a significantly smaller home. The roof was battered, the walls a little tattered. There were no more bookshelves, so the books stacked up like pillars supporting the low ceiling. It was a one-room home, with no more reading nooks, no more windows and barely any natural light. The emerald green carpet where you’d taught yourself color-shifting was nowhere to be found—sent off to the 8th city to be sold for extra notes. 

Your parents acted as if nothing had changed, however. And by that, you meant they were still a little distant, their noses buried deep in their books. It was almost as if they didn’t notice the change in the surroundings. But it was evident that they had lost weight. And it was hard to watch them hunch over and squint to read the small text in their manuscripts in the dim windowlessness of your new home.

If you were more adept in alchemy, you would’ve helped them remodel the home, but permanent shifts to larger items were something that even the best alchemists struggled with. It was also around this time when you realized that even after the argument you had with your parents earlier this year, they really, truly loved you. They wouldn’t be starving themselves, living in a small shack with no lights and bedrooms if they didn’t care. It pained you inside to think that you ever doubted them. How could you ever think that Instructor Shin was your only unconditional support when your parents had splurged the entirety of their finances on you? The guilt ate at you alive, and momentarily, your performance in the academy dropped as you processed your revelation. 

“Something is bothering you,” Instructor Shin said, pulling you aside after the Advanced Alchemy lecture. Her face was stoic, yet her tone was gentle. “Are the soldiers harassing you?”

You shook your head. The soldiers have already moved on from you and Jangmi, having found older and more talented students to prey on.

“You haven’t been paying attention,” Instructor Shin said, but it was without disappointment—as if she was merely stating a fact and delicately probing you to answer why.

“I’m sorry, Instructor Shin,” you said, looking at your shoes.

Instructor Shin gave you a look that you could not discern. “Final examinations are approaching,” she said. “Try your best.”

You nodded, though you were unsure how you were going to concentrate on your studies in the lavish libraries of Botswana Agate when you knew your parents were at home skipping meals to fund your schooling. When you made it out of the classroom, the grand doors shutting behind you, Donghoon was immediately by your side. He must’ve been waiting for you.

“What was that about?” he naturally asked. “Did she tell you off because your rank dropped twenty places?”

You shook your head. “It wasn’t really a telling off…”

Donghoon raised his eyebrows. “Really? Not even a little scolding?”

“No… She seemed worried.”

“Well, did you give her something to worry about?”

How could Donghoon, the son of the rich Head Instructor of Botswana Agate Academy, understand the financial struggles of a meager divinist scholar family? And besides, if you told him that you were poor, he might try to help, and you would never want to burden him in that manner. 

So you shook your head again, forcing yourself to smile. “I think you’re rubbing off on me, Donghoon.”

He snorted in laughter. “Thanks,” he replied, though he didn’t look like he fully believed your lie. “I’m on a mission to become the worst student ever admitted to this damn academy.”

Then three days later, two weeks before final examinations, Donghoon managed to drop out. 

Well, dropping out wouldn’t be quite the right words; he was expelled. It took Donghoon almost one entire school year to realize his horrible marks weren’t enough of an excuse to convince his father to allow him to quit the academy. So he simply took another route and threatened to obliterate the most important artifact in all of Botswana: past Head Instructor Jeon’s alchemy miracle, the wine glass created from nothing. Donghoon was just seconds away from smashing the glass in front of everyone in the dining hall when his father ran in, completely red and breathless and expelled him on the spot. Donghoon left swiftly, having already packed his bags a week prior. It stung just a little that he didn’t really say goodbye, but maybe that was a good thing. You didn’t think you could’ve handled any more sadness. 

Losing a friend took a toll on you, and that, stacked with worrying about your parents, stressed you so much that you missed an entire week of classes. It was only two days before your first final exam when you realized that moping around pitying yourself was something that the hero of your fairytales would never do. How pathetic! What happened to the girl who wanted to make an impact? The little girl who one day wanted to be a hero? Why was she crying over a friend who was now much happier? Why had she stopped studying when her parents sacrificed so much to put her in this academy? 

You realized then and there that doing your utmost best in Botswana would be one of the biggest ways in which you could repay your parents—at least attempt to, for you could never truly repay what they’ve sacrificed for you. And so, in less than 48 hours, you crammed circa’s worth of information into your brain and practiced your alchemy skills until no end, forgoing sleep to do so. You managed to do decently on your exams, though not as amazing as you would’ve done had you never gone through a slump, but the recovery made you proud of yourself. 

And as if there had been no hiccups at all, life ambled on. 

Your third year at Botswana was much busier than the last two. You were juggling more difficult classes, along with two part-time tutoring jobs and another one as Instructor Shin’s Intro to Alchemy teaching assistant. The pay wasn’t outstanding for any of your odd jobs, but it allowed you to alleviate a bit of the financial burden off of your parents’ shoulders. You still managed to find the time to visit Donghoon occasionally, too. He had set up a nice little tea shop in the 8th city and loved to serve you his newest loose-leaf creations. Sometimes, he’d make his assistant watch over his shop and take you shopping around the 8th city—the two of you had never lost your penchant for clothes since Fashion Studies. You rarely bought anything, though you one day dreamed of owning closets filled with an assortment of fancy gowns and elegant petticoats.

You didn’t quite need to purchase clothes, either. You owned two pairs of the academy’s uniform, which was sufficient enough. And fabric was cheap in the 8th city’s mini-markets, so you purchased those in increments and shifted them into your desired designs. The shifts for larger pieces of clothing were only temporary, considering the expanse of the fabric and the complexity of the design, but after some trial and error (and an embarrassing number of sleepless nights), you were able to permanently shift scarves and gloves for your parents just in time for the winter.

Little by little, your alchemy skills grew. 

Color-shifting and size-shifting were now considered elementary in your more advanced courses, and it was now expected of you to be able to shift the colors and patterns of items permanently. Examinations often tested the longevity of your color-shifts, which was at times nerve-wracking because it took days of waiting to see whether your charms worked the way you intended them to. Size-shifting from small to large items, and vice versa, was still a difficult task, and it was tested less often as even more experienced alchemists struggled with turning a pencil into the size of a bed. And masking was not tested at all, for it was out of the scope of what Botswana Agate could teach its young students. But that never stopped you from attempting to master it; you would inevitably learn it in Aven Quartz, anyway—hopefully, you’d have the finances for it.

So you began small, masking quill pens into tulips, masking goblets into bowls. The masking never quite lasted, but the fact that it worked in the first place was a miracle. You sought extra guidance from Instructor Shin, who was more than delighted to help. And by the middle of your third year, you were comfortably able to mask smaller items for an hour (or two if you were lucky). It wasn’t good enough for you, but it was good enough for your instructors, who informed you of your high rankings time and time again during your Consultings.

What always fueled you to push yourself further was the memory of your mothers when you first visited your new home two years ago. Their thin faces, the cramped single room, the missing furniture, the low ceiling, their backs hunched over, them huddling over dim candlelight to read their books… You were determined to get them out of the situation that you had caused them. It felt like it was your duty—a noble thing to do as their only child. And it would require you to be quite an accomplished individual.

Your alchemy skills weren’t the only thing going through rapid changes in your life. There was also Botswana Agate, though you weren’t too sure if these changes were for the better. Head Instructor Kim approved several new courses, if you could even call them that. No true knowledge was being dispensed in those mandatory classes—only military propaganda. A new academy uniform made its debut as well, looking suspiciously similar to the dark attire of the Darlaean soldier uniform: jet-black with silver and purple stitchings and a belt that cinched in the waist. It became difficult to differentiate between student and soldier, and now everyone looked like soot against the pristine, white walls of Botswana Agate. The changes were only slightly irritating, especially when you happened to run into Joonhee in one of those indistinguishable uniforms and you were unsure whether he dropped out of the rigorous training program for adolescents or if he became one of those annoying soldiers patrolling the halls of the academy.

“Hey! Y/N!” he said, a little too amiably for someone who was never too kind to you before. “Hey!” he said again, jogging over to catch up to you. “I haven’t seen you in a while.”

You wondered why he was greeting you so warmly. But upon closer look, you realized that he was, indeed, wearing the Darlaean soldier uniform and was probably looking to recruit you for the damn training program once again. You could come up with an excuse and run away or pretend you didn’t even hear him, but that felt a little mean. What if he genuinely wanted to catch up? Maybe he volunteered to be here because he missed Botswana and his friends. But you were never his friend, so why was he seeking you out? Nevertheless, you could never be so rude as to turn a person away.

“Hi, Joonhee!” you said with a smile. Upon closer look, Joonhee seemed a lot older now, although it had only been two years. He was taller, obviously, nearly towering over you in stature, and he had his hair slicked completely back, which accentuated his high cheekbones. He’d lost the chubbiness in his cheeks and had a heavier look in his eyes. But perhaps that was due to the dark circles. You wondered if he spent many sleepless nights in the army. You would imagine so, with all that death and treachery around you, how could you go to bed? “Um, how’s the program going?”

“Really well,” Joonhee answered, shoving his hands in his uniform pockets. “I volunteered to station here for a circa or two just to say hi to everyone before your commencement next year. I’ll be busier then, so might as well visit now. Plus, they don’t let us soldiers in at Aven Quartz just yet.”

“Oh, busier, how?” you asked.

“I did well on my last several showcases,” Joonhee explained. “So they’re going to step up my training. I’ll be fighting in the war by the time I’m 16 or 17.”

“Fighting in the war…” You couldn’t comprehend how casually he said it. In just a few years, Joonhee would be risking his life for Darlae, but you simply couldn’t understand why. He was a perfectly fine student with a bright future in academia ahead of him. Why did he choose to leave? It was a question that you would likely never know the answer to—you simply weren’t close enough to him to ask, and you didn’t see yourself growing closer to him anytime soon.

Joonhee nodded with a solemn look of duty on his face. “Fighting in the war,” he repeated. “Hey, listen. I’ve been trying to find Donghoon around here. You’re still close with him, right?”

Immediately, you tensed up. “Do you… need to tell him something?”

“Yeah. I was going to apologize,” Joonhee said. “I was only 12, and I was a fucking ass to him and a lot of other people. I know better now. Gotta represent my nation and everything.” He said this very proudly, jutting out his chest. 

You’re pleasantly surprised. “Oh, that’s really nice of you, Joonhee. I can relay the message to him since he’s not here anymore. He dropped out. Er, I mean, he was sort of expelled.”

“By his own father?” Joonhee raised his eyebrows.

You nodded. “Yeah, it happened two years ago, a bit after you left, actually. A lot’s changed.”

Joonhee agreed. “A lot has…” There was a bit of an awkward silence before he decided to speak again. “Anyways, are you going to the showcase later this circa? I won’t be one of the judges, but I’ll be somewhere in the audience.”

Was this his smooth way of getting you to think about joining the army?

You shook your head. “They’re not mandatory anymore, and I’ve been busy with classes and my part-time jobs…” It was the truth, although it also sounded a bit like an excuse. But around three circas ago, the showcases were briefly made mandatory, until the fourth years refused to attend classes for two circas. Head Instructor Kim had no choice but to reverse the decision. If he hadn’t, you and the rest of the student body would have been forced to sit through nearly four to six hours of showcasing every circa, which meant watching every single Botswana Agate student put on a display of their skills in front of a row of Darlaean soldier judges, only to be given a numerical score. You would much rather get ahead in your classes or help Instructor Shin grade a few more papers in that time.

“Oh, that’s fine,” Joonhee said. “I wasn’t trying to pressure you or anything. But if you ever have time… You know, just check it out. They’re offering money to high-scorers now.”

“Money?” you asked, though a little too eagerly. Embarrassed, you tried to play off your interest in surprise. “I mean, that’s crazy. I didn’t ever think you guys would offer compensation.”

“Yeah, it’s pretty new,” Joonhee said. “It’s a good amount, too. About 50 jungs.”

Your jaw dropped open. “50 jungs???” That’s enough to fund half a year’s worth of tuition! If you scored well on two showcases, that would mean you would be able to attend your fourth year at Botswana without financial worry. If you scored well on three showcases, you would have a profit! The image of your parents hunched over in their dimly lit home, thin and weary, flashed in your mind. 50 jungs would not be enough to buy a new home, but it would be enough to take care of several hearty meals. Possibly a few bookshelves as well. 

“Yeah,” Joonhee said. “You should think about it. You were always good at alchemy. I bet if you walked in and showed them some of your masking, they’d be sold.”

You weren’t sure how he found out about your masking practices, which meant somehow, the Darlaean soldiers were still watching you, but it didn’t really feel like it mattered in the grand scheme of things. You now had a shot at winning a generous sum of money, which would solve most, if not all of your problems. And besides, your participation in these showcases was not binding whatsoever. You were never going to enlist, no matter how many showcases you happened to attend.

“Thanks,” you told Joonhee. “I’ll… yeah. I’ll definitely keep that in mind.”

“Tuition at Aven Quartz is more expensive, you know,” Joonhee suddenly said, which made you raise your eyebrows. “And they haven’t allowed showcases there yet; possibly never will. Just something to think about.” Before you could even react to his words, Joonhee saluted you. “I’ll see you around, Y/N. Talk to Donghoon for me, will you?” 

He marched away, leaving you slightly conflicted and confused. Just how much did the Darlaean army know about you? You thought you were off their radar, but it seemed that they were quite well-versed with your financial situation, which was strange because you never told anyone about it—not even Donghoon. You weren’t sure if you could trust them, but money was money and you needed it. Your parents would thank you, right? You were only doing it for them.

With the next showcase almost an entire circa away, you had more than enough time to prepare. And you did so in secret, hoping that none of your friends would find out—in fear that they would get the wrong idea. If the Darlaean soldiers knew you were capable of masking, they would naturally want you to showcase it. So you stayed overnight in the academy’s libraries, reading up on the extensive possibilities of masking, which led you down the rabbit hole of alchemy’s origins. Most of it was a reiteration of what you learned in Darlaean History in your first year, but your research enlightened you with some new information as well. The term alchemy used to refer to the transformation of chosen items into gold, which was the reason Darlae became the prosperous nation it was today. Before the war and the blockade, Darlae’s 2nd city was dedicated entirely to alchemists, and they would spend day and night turning things into gold, which would then be sent off to the 1st city to trade with vendors from other nations. Now, the 1st city was a base site for the army, and the 2nd city was where talented alchemists resided to create nasty charms for the war. As Darlae developed, alchemy became a broader type of magic, which encompassed all things transformation, and the true act of alchemy—turning things into gold—grew obsolete as gold became monetarily useless. But true alchemy was a difficult task regardless, as documented in every book you got your hands on, which made you want to achieve it more than ever.

You practiced relentlessly in the privacy of your dorm. When you weren’t studying or working your part-time jobs, you were exploring the works of true alchemy, which was even harder than you knew it would be. There were many failures, and many points where you wanted to give up and showcase something much simpler. But when you reached those low points, you mentally scolded yourself. How could you be so selfish, thinking about giving up and living in such a lavish dorm with your parents having sold their beds and now sleeping on the hardwood floor? You were doing this for them; you only wanted them to live comfortably, as they had done before your rash decision to attend Botswana Agate Academy to escape them. And perhaps this was the impact you were meant to make in the world—to care for your parents when they forgot to care for themselves.

It sounded rather selfless, yet deep down inside, you wondered if saving your parents from their financial burden would finally get them to look your way. If this showcase was going to be a pivotal moment in your complicated relationship with them, you were certainly not going to dawdle. You were going to perform with no regrets.

And so you did.

After nearly a circa’s worth of sleepless nights, of sacrificing a minor bit of study time to practice your showcase, you gave an unforgettable performance. At least, you assumed it was unforgettable. The theatron went completely silent the moment you turned that metal spoon into a golden one, and not a single person in the audience clapped. You stumbled off the stage, your ears ringing and your legs feeling wobbly. It had all happened much too quickly, the judges announcing your name, the shining lights in your face, perspiration dripping from your brow and making your hands all clammy. It was only after you were halfway down the hall from the theatron’s exit that you heard the roar of applause. 

It made you nearly trip over the air.

You had done it.

After so many failed repetitions, you had managed true alchemy! Your ears were still ringing, and the world felt as if it was spinning. Your accomplishment didn’t feel believable. Even up on that stage, you remembered, though it was hazy, that you would’ve been simply content with turning that silver spoon into bronze and hope those in the audience had bad eyesight. 

You had to tell Instructor Shin! She was always the first person you sought when you reached a new alchemy milestone. But… that didn’t feel too right today. If you told her about your success, she would question why you had been dabbling in true alchemy in the first place (since it was such an obscure practice), and unable to lie, you would tell her you participated in one of the showcases. You could imagine the disappointed look on her face. She would lose her trust in you! Another one of her students lost to the Darlaean army! And oh, if she found out you were convinced to participate because Joonhee recommended it… You might as well never return to your assistant job.

But despite your worries, you still somehow ended up in Instructor Shin’s office, where she offered you a nice glass of iced water mixed with fresh mint leaves. 

“A hot day today, isn’t it?” she said.

She must’ve been referring to your hot and sweaty face.

“Y-Yes,” you agreed, though she didn’t know that you had to imagine you were in a hot, pressurized inferno to transform the metal into gold. That, and the fact that you were nervous to talk to her, in fear that she would find out what you had done.

“I’m glad I ran into you in the hallway, Y/N,” Instructor Shin said, sipping on her own chilled glass of water while sitting at the edge of her marble desk. Your heart began to beat faster in your chest. Was she going to ask why she spotted you coming from the direction of the theatron, where the notorious showcases were held? You began to come up with all sorts of excuses in your head, though you knew that your execution would be horrible and you might as well have told the truth from the beginning. But before the worst of your thoughts could consume you, Instructor Shin continued. “I wanted to tell you”—you held your breath—“that I recommend that you apply to Aven Quartz Academy now, one year earlier than normal.” The glass in your hands nearly slipped. “I’ve discussed with your past and current instructors, and we have come to the consensus that Botswana does not have much to offer you anymore, Y/N. I—we— would rather that you move further along in your academic journey than stay here in classes filled with material that is review. I am more than willing to write your recommendation letter.”

Of course you’d love to apply early! That was all you ever wanted—to follow the natural scholar’s pace and study at Aven Quartz. You didn’t need to think much harder. “Oh, thank you!” you exclaimed, unable to contain your excitement. “Instructor Shin, I—”

Tuition at Aven Quartz is more expensive, you know.

You froze momentarily.

And they haven’t allowed showcases there yet; possibly never will.

Oh no. 

Just something to think about.

Thanks to Joonhee, it was something to think about, indeed.

If you applied to Aven and were possibly accepted, that would mean your parents would have to pay the impossible tuition, more than double what they currently paid for Botswana. Your parents would have to sell the shack and live on the streets of the 11th city, foraging or begging for food! And there were only two more circas left until the end of your third year, which meant that even assuming you excelled in the rest of the showcases, you would still barely be able to afford half a year’s worth of schooling at Aven Quartz. 

If what Joonhee told you was true, and Aven would never have army showcases, you would never be able to help your parents pay for your tuition. Even if you stayed one extra year at Botswana, forgoing Instructor Shin’s offer to apply to Aven early, you still wouldn’t save enough money to comfortably pay for schooling at the sister academy.

“You’re in doubt,” Instructor Shin said, her red lips pressing into a thin line.

You hung your head low. “I… I’m just…” You didn’t know how appropriate it was for you to tell Instructor Shin about your financial situation, especially if she wouldn’t be able to change anything about it.

“Talk to me,” Instructor Shin said. “There must be a reason for your hesitation.”

Of course there was a reason. But you had never been one to divulge others of your private matters. 

“Y/N,” Instructor Shin tried again. “I cannot help if you do not tell me what is wrong.”

She did make a fair point. But how could she possibly help? This was between you and your parents! Yet Instructor Shin had helped you along at the academy for nearly three years now. She was practically your mother in Botswana. And what if she could help? What if you were underestimating what she could do?

“My family…” you began, your voice coming out much smaller than expected. You sipped your water, clearing your throat afterward. “My family is tight with money,” you told Instructor Shin. “My parents have been working hard just to pay my tuition here in Botswana, and I… Even I’ve been trying to work odd jobs to help. Aven Quartz is so much more expensive, and Instructor Shin, I… I don’t know what to do.”

For the second time in nearly three years of knowing Instructor Shin, her stoic barriers melted away, and she looked genuinely sorry. “I understand,” she said sympathetically. “Thank you for sharing, Y/N. Though I believe no amount of words and wisdom could convince Head Instructor Kim to lower the tuition at Botswana, I do believe it is a possibility at Aven Quartz. I am in good relations with the head instructor there, so I may pull some strings.” She paused, seemingly thinking of the right thing to say. “It would certainly be a pity for our nation to lose another talented scholar. I’ll do what I can. Meanwhile…” Instructor Shin trailed off, and you could sense that she was heavily debating on whether to say something. Finally, she sighed, tapping her fingers against her desk in deep thought. “But tell me, what do you want to do with your future, Y/N?”

You momentarily panicked. You hadn’t expected her to ask such a broad question! It felt like some sort of test—as if your answer would dictate how much effort she would put into helping you. But then another, possibly worse thought, occurred to you.

What if she knew? What if she knew that you were coming back from a showcase? What if she thought you were considering the army? Was that why she suddenly asked you to apply early to Aven Quartz? Was that why she was willing to go as far as to contact Aven’s Head Instructor to reduce the cost of your tuition? Was that why she was asking what you would like to do with your future?

When you hesitantly looked up at Instructor Shin, her sharp eyes pierced right into yours, and in them, you saw inexplicable omnipotence—as if somehow, she held all the knowledge in the world. For a second, it almost felt as if she was a divinist. But of course she would find out what you’ve done. Her words rang in your ears: it would certainly be a pity for our nation to lose another talented scholar—and her unspoken words as well—to the Darlaean Army. How could you ever think you could hide it from her?

And your future? Nearly three years ago, hell, even as a young child, you had it all figured out. Just like those protagonists in your novels, you were going to make a change, leave a mark somewhere, anywhere. You were supposed to extinguish the flames once the world was doused in them. Only now, that desire to make a change, that desire to be a hero, has manifested in your desire to change your parents’ living situation. 

“It’s all right if you do not know,” Instructor Shin said in your silence. “Not many of your age are sure of their futures.”

“But I think I do know,” you said, though it came out as more of a whisper. “I want to make a change.” You were painfully aware of how naïve that sounded, but it was the truth. This was what has motivated you for as long as you can remember. 

If Instructor Shin found your future aspiration to be callow, she did not show it. Instead, she nodded. “I will support any direction you decide to take,” she told you. “And I trust that you will make good choices.”

Her words echoed in your head even after you left her office, and they followed you as you slipped under your plush covers in your dorm. 

I trust that you will make good choices.

But what if every choice felt like a bad one?

A single day after your showcase, there was a knock on your dorm door. You weren’t exactly expecting anyone, so it was an interesting surprise to see two students—no, two Darlaean soldiers—standing before you. 

“Hello,” you said, unsure of what to expect.

They saluted in response, which puzzled you even more.

“Kwang Y/N,” the shorter one said while saluting, “you received a near-perfect score at your showcase the other day.” 

Your eyes widened. In your own daze at accomplishing what you believed was nearly impossible, you had completely forgotten to stay to hear your score! Were they angry at you for leaving without dismissal? Did they come to scold you and tell you that your showcase was now invalid? “I’m sorry for leaving so abruptly,” you said, but it came out a little desperate. “I-I was nervous and I—”

“No need to apologize,” the taller soldier said, shaking his head. “We would like to let you know that the judges believed your performance was exceptional. And once again, the Darlaean Army would like to extend you an invitation to join our rigorous training program for adolescents.”

Oh.

They weren’t angry at all. 

They only wanted to recruit you… Again.

Your mind began drowning in your options.

Either choice felt like a bad one: applying early to Aven Quartz and putting your parents in deeper debt (despite a reduced tuition) versus staying in Botswana to make more profit from the showcases and still putting your parents in debt. Yet, joining the training program was possibly the worst choice out of them all. How could you make the change you wanted to make when you were dead? What could you possibly get—what would anyone possibly get—out of you being in the army? Nobody in your life—except perhaps Joonhee—would approve. The idea itself was so preposterous that you couldn’t even consider it an option!

You’ve rejected the offer before. You could surely do it again, and this time, it would be easier as there would be no crowd of curious peers staring at you. 

“I’m sorry,” you said with a shake of your head. It felt good to stand your ground. “Unfortunately, I’m not interested.”

“But—” the taller soldier began, yet he stopped himself. “Very well, then,” he said with a sigh. You were partly surprised at how easily he relented. “But our army has never seen a showcase like yours before. Just wanted to let you know.”

The two soldiers left you in peace, which was what you wanted since you opened your door and saw them. You thought that was a done deal, and you could go on your merry way to figuring out what the hell you were going to do with the two options you had left. But it turned out that you weren’t completely off the Darlaean Army’s radar. Exactly 24 hours after your encounter with the soldiers, there was that same knock on your door. 

Were they back to convince you to join? Were they going to threaten to not give you the money from your showcase? 

You were slightly nervous but a little irritated too. Why couldn’t they respect your decision? It wasn’t like you—a single 14-year-old—could really make a difference in the entire Darlaean army, so why were they being so persistent? Was it due to ego? Did they believe that no one could possibly resist an invitation to fight for Darlae? 

The thought increased your irritation, and you swung your door wide open, ready to somewhat politely give these damn soldiers a piece of your mind. But your plans dissipated when you made eye contact with a serious-looking man outside your door. He was older than any soldier you’ve seen so far and was tall and slender, with a high nose, downturned lips and glinting eyes that seemed to stare into your soul. His army uniform was uniquely adorned with silver shoulder epaulets, and a beautiful round opal decorated his belt buckle. The man exuded a quiet confidence, and that, coupled with the fact that his uniform looked high-ranking, suddenly made your brain turn to mush.

“Hello,” he said, his voice much deeper than what you expected. 

You stared.

Then, realizing you were being rude, you squeaked a delayed, “H-Hello.”

“I am Lieutenant General Son,” the man introduced himself. “Pleased to meet you, Y/N.”

You weren’t very familiar with army rankings, but his title contained the word General, which was enough to make you realize you were face-to-face with a very powerful individual. Your palms began to accumulate sweat, and you nervously fiddled with your trinket behind your ear. “N-Nice to meet you too. Sir,” you added in haste. Your eyes glanced behind the man and to the hallway, hoping that none of your peers happened to walk past in fear of rumors spreading that you were beginning to consider joining the Darlaean Army. You weren’t sure if you should invite the man into your dorm; that felt a little strange, for he was a complete stranger. It was also exceedingly peculiar that the Lieutenant General of the Darlaean Army personally sought you out. You decided to keep the conversation where it started, the door frame creating a border between you and the army official.

“I was told you have now twice refused to be a part of our training program for adolescents,” the Lieutenant General said. “Why is that?”

Your eyes widened. “Oh, I-I… Sir, I…” How could you respectfully tell him that you want nothing to do with the army?

“Your parents are divinist scholars as I understand,” the Lieutenant General continued, saving you from responding to his own question. “I suspect you’ve been conditioned to think quite poorly of the army.”

You stuttered, unsure whether to accept or deny his statement.

“And that is fine,” the Lieutenant General said. “I do not care what the scholars think of us. A nation cannot develop properly amidst a war. I’m sure you already know. Darlae may be rich in resources, but our scholars’ research will never see the light of day until the blockade is over and our 1st city is restored.” His eyes pierced into yours. “If you choose the army, Darlae will thrive from your contributions and your accomplishments will be tangible.”

Of course he came here to sell the army to you. That much was expected. What was unexpected, however, was the fact that he brought up quite a good point. It was true that scholars’ research was not the nation’s priority. Your work—if you did become an alchemist scholar—would be buried amongst the hundreds of other research manuscripts until the war was over. But then again, there also wasn’t much longevity in becoming a soldier, and you wanted accomplishments that would last. If you died on the battlefield, the only contribution you’d make would be becoming fertilizer for the soil. It was an overwhelmingly dark thought—that Donghoon would often joke about—but there was truth in it. You’d rather die knowing your work could be uncovered someday, instead of being a casualty count in a textbook decades later.

The Lieutenant General nodded in your silence. “I will save my compliments and further persuasion. I’m sure you’ve heard enough. Allow yourself time to ponder. I want an answer in three days.”

With that, he handed you a crisp envelope from inside his uniform jacket, and before you could ask what it was, he turned and walked away. You stared at the back of his head, processing the encounter in your mind. It didn’t seem like he was trying too hard to convince you to join the army—if that was his plan. He had left relatively quickly too. But perhaps he was busy. If he had given you the opportunity, you would’ve refused him on the spot. Now you had three days to come up with a kind way to reject the offer.

Sighing, you closed the door, sliding up against it and staring at the thin envelope in your hands. It was shut with a dark violet wax seal with the royal emblem stamped on it. It was no secret that the army was heavily funded by the royal family, but you never thought they’d make it so obvious. Carefully, you tore the seal open, half-expecting to see the money you won from the showcase. But instead, you found a single sheet of creamy paper and on it were a few words handwritten in black ink. You frowned. What had to be written that could not be said out loud?

Y/N,

A payment of five thousand jungs and ownership of a new home in the 12th city will be contingent upon your agreement to continue with the program. Consider it wisely.

Lieutenant General.

Your jaw dropped open. 

Five thousand jungs was more than enough to buy a new home from your parents. But they were offering a new home for you regardless! And in the 12th city! This was everything your parents had ever wanted. One could only be invited to live in the 12th city, and this was the invitation! Your parents could officially become royal divinists. Their lifelong dream would come true!

But… at what expense? This was obviously a bribe, which you were unaware that the Darlaean Army was capable of doing, for you’ve never heard of a story like this. Perhaps they were better at hiding things than you thought. Still, you didn’t understand. You’ve rejected them twice before. Why would they come back to you a third time? Was your showcase truly that remarkable? You would be but one single soldier! They probably sacrificed hundreds of soldiers per week, so why did it matter that you joined their training program? Wouldn’t you simply be a casualty to them sooner or later? A number reported to the higher-ups? 

Accepting the offer would mean doing away with all of your parents’ problems. It would also mean creating new problems for yourself. You would have to give up becoming an alchemist scholar. You’d have to give up Aven Quartz. Hell, you could kiss your friends goodbye; no sane Botswana student would accept the fact that you’d seriously consider joining the army. And though Instructor Shin told you that she would trust any decision you were to make, she would still be disappointed. 

You were in desperate need of brutal wisdom, to help you snap out of delusion—if you were in it—and there was only one person who you knew you could count on.

“Y/N!” Donghoon greeted you as soon as you stepped into his tea shop. He rolled down his sleeves and jogged toward you with a grin on his face. “Fancy seeing you here! It’s been an entire circa!”

He was right. The last time you saw Donghoon, it had been to tell him Joonhee’s message, and he had simply shrugged it off, saying he never cared too much about Joonhee anyway. 

“Hey!” you smiled, though it was a little hard to with so much on your mind. “Is this a good time?”

“Did something happen?” Donghoon asked, raising his eyebrows. He knew you too well.

“Um… kind of,” you replied.

“Let’s hear it, then,” Donghoon said. He pulled up an extra wooden stool to the coffee table and sat down, gesturing you to do the same across from him. So you did, unsure of how you should start your story at all. “Whatever it is, it’s giving you frown lines,” Donghoon snorted. “Spit it out. You know I won’t judge.”

Somehow, you felt like he would. 

“It’s about the army,” you said.

Donghoon sighed. “Those bastards are still harassing you? Here, I’ll help you come up with effective ways to make them regret ever messing with y—”

“N-No,” you said, shaking your head. “It’s… Well, you know about the training program, right? The one they wanted me to join back since you were still in school.”

“Yeah…” Donghoon said, cocking his head. You could tell he was unsure where you were going with this. It made you want to tread lighter than before.

“Um… I…”

“You’re not actually thinking of doing it, are you?” Donghoon accused. His tone was sharp, and you were immediately struggling to defend yourself.

“N-No! I’m… But I’m just… I don’t know, I feel like I should consider the option at least.”

“Why?!”

You struggled to remain calm. “They’re offering me a lot of money. And a home in the 12th city.”

“All for you?” Donghoon frowned. “They told you that they’ll give you all that if you join?”

You nodded, pulling out the letter for proof.

Donghoon glanced at the words on the cream paper and shook his head. “You can’t do it, Y/N. You can’t become one of those bastards. Your life will be filled with blood and gore and death! Do you really want someone else’s guts on your hands?”

Even the thought made you want to hurl. “Of course I don’t! But…”

“This can’t possibly be about your parents, Y/N. They’re shit people!”

“They’re not!” You didn’t mean to yell, but it hurt to think that someone who had such a horrible father still believed your parents were just as bad. “They’re just busy!”

“That excuse works from time to time. Not every year since you were born!” Donghoon exclaimed. “They’re trying to bribe you, Y/N. Don’t you get it? You’re probably the most talented scholar they’ve ever seen. Why else would the fucking Lieutenant General come to see you himself? But you can’t bargain with your own life to make your parents happy! Let’s face it, Y/N, what have they done to deserve it?”

Anger flashed through you. “They’ve been living in a shack for two years to pay for my tuition!” You took a deep breath, trying to calm yourself. “I’m sorry for yelling, but they care more than they let on, Donghoon.”

“So you’re just going to waste your talents in the army so you can repay your parents?”

“I’ll never be able to repay them. I was off frolicking in the fancy halls of Botswana while they were starving and sleeping on hardwood floors, Donghoon.”

“I don’t get it.” He shook his head. “You could’ve asked me for help. I can still give you the money you need.”

“You know I hate being a burden.”

He sighed. “I know… But don’t do it. You’ll figure out a way. Do you want to work part-time at my tea shop? The pay’ll be amazing.”

“Donghoon, I just need advice. Is it really such a bad idea? Maybe… I don’t know, maybe I’ll be able to make an actual change if I’m in the army. Even if I did become an alchemist scholar one day, my work would probably be buried because of the war.” You didn’t know why you were starting to defend the idea of joining the army. It felt wrong, especially to do in front of Donghoon.

“Of course it’s a bad idea,” he said as expected. “It’s a fucking horrible idea, that’s what it is. They’re going to turn you into a killing machine. They’re going to make sure violence is ingrained in your body. You won’t ever be the same again. They’ll have you become their puppet! You’ll fall for their propaganda! They’ll have you thinking that the Solarians are the scum of the earth!”

“But is that true?” you asked.

“Why the hell are you asking if it’s true, Y/N?” Donghoon said, exasperated. “How can you question common sense? Have you actually fallen for their propaganda already? How long have you been considering joining their training program?”

It hurt that he was accusing you of these things, and the pain caused you to react before you could think. “You don’t understand how it feels to not have money! You don’t understand how humiliating it is to even think about asking others for help. You don’t even understand the stress I’ve gone through just to keep myself in school. You wouldn’t get it at all because you’re fucking rich and you dropped out!” As soon as those words left your mouth, you regretted it. “Donghoon, wait. I didn’t mean—”

“Go fucking join the army, then.”

“W-What?”

“If money is more important to you, then go throw away your dignity. I don’t care. Go be like Joonhee and waste your talent.”

“Donghoon…”

“Maybe you’ll become the General of the fucking Army one day.”

“It’s not money that’s more important… This is about my parents.”

“You don’t owe them anything.”

“How can I not owe them anything?” you said. “Look, Donghoon, I’m not saying I’m going to join the army. I just… It’s a lot of money. That plus the new home in the 12th city… And I’ll be learning alchemy during that training program, but I’m being paid to do it! You have to understand that logically, all signs point to me at least contemplating the offer.”

Donghoon shook his head. “It already sounds like you know what you want to decide.”

“No, I—”

He abruptly stood up, cutting you off. “I would never even consider accepting an offer like this. But maybe it’s meant to be. You’ve always liked carrying your trinket around.” He glanced at the baby blue feather pinned to your hair. “If you’re going to be directly involved in the perpetual circle of violence between the two nations, then we should go our separate ways.”

Your heart sank. “Donghoon…”

“I don’t serve soldiers in my tea shop,” he said. “You can leave.”

Tears began to well up in your eyes. “I never said I was going to do it…”

He gave you a look that questioned your words.

You shakily stood up, lingering at the coffee table, unsure if you should really leave. If you went now, you would most likely never come back again. Donghoon has never tolerated anything involving the war; as soon as you even so much considered the idea, he’d already pulled away. But Donghoon seemed content with breaking up your friendship as he had already rolled up his sleeves and had begun working behind the counter again. It was as if the two of you hadn’t had a conversation at all.

Confused and hurt, you slowly stepped out of the tea shop, vision a little blurry from your tears. The more you thought about your lost relationship with Donghoon, the faster you began to walk, hoping to leave the sadness behind you. Before you knew it, you were running, though you could barely see ahead of you. Your quill trinket threatened to fall out of your hair, so you ripped it out and held it in your hands, not caring in the slightest that you were wrinkling the feather.

A sob left your mouth as you sprinted across Botswana’s empty corridors. Maybe you shouldn’t have yelled at him. Maybe you should’ve thought before reacting. Maybe you should go back and apologize. But your legs refused to stop, and you continued to run—though you didn’t know where—until you ran into somebody, nearly losing your grip on your trinket. If they hadn’t grabbed your arm with impressive reflexes, you would’ve tumbled back. When you looked up, hastily wiping your tears away with your uniform sleeve, you saw Joonhee. 

He frowned, letting your arm go once you regained your balance. You were too out of breath to apologize. “Are you okay?” he asked.

All you could do was shake your head.

He didn’t ask any more questions. Instead, he offered you some water and a handkerchief, which you gladly accepted. By the time you finally calmed down, you and he were sitting at the edge of Botswana Agate’s marble fountain—the same one that was trashed in protest when Head Instructor Kim announced the curriculum changes (that were really just army propaganda). Your trinket, though a little wrinkled and now its original shade of ugly gray, was safely pinned back behind your ear again. Joonhee sat silently, waiting for you to speak, though he most likely had hundreds of other tasks to attend to. Starting to feel a little guilty that he was wasting his time in silence with you, you blurted out a question that happened to cross your mind at the moment.

“Why do you want to fight in the war?” 

Joonhee turned to you, eyebrows raised. “That’s a loaded question. Have you got the time?”

You nodded. “Three days, in fact.”

He looked confused, but he didn’t question it. “I mean, I hate the Solarians, so naturally, I’d want to… you know, do away with them, I guess. But it’s a lot more than that, too. As a soldier-in-training, I get to represent Darlae. I get to fight for our beliefs and our pride, and I would die trying. You know, besides the 10th and 11th cities, people are actually proud to be Darlaeans. I think it’s because they don’t have their damn noses stuck in books all the time. They live in reality. They right the wrongs and take action when needed. That’s how I see it. I’d rather be out there fighting for my nation than fester in research that’ll be forgotten about when I’m dead.”

Death… You felt too young to be contemplating it. Sometimes it didn’t even feel real that you could simply cease to exist. The thought was terrifying, and you didn’t know how Joonhee was so content with it.

“But won’t you be forgotten about if you die on the battlefield?”

Joonhee thought for a moment. “Have you ever read The Wisdom Tree?”

Though you were confused why he offered such a topic change, you nodded. “I think I read it once when I was young, but it was a little too dark for me.” 

“Well, I grew up with that story,” Joonhee explained. “The main character sacrifices his life for someone he loves, yet he is never forgotten. His lover makes sure his name is never lost in history. Plants a sentient tree in his honor, and the townspeople forever seek advice from that tree when faced with difficult decisions. Hence, the title. But yeah. I trust my comrades to carry on my legacy if I die, and they trust me to do the same. You can die and still be a hero,” he said. “I’m willing to put my life on the line for a chance at a warless Darlae. Shouldn’t that be our priority? Ending the war? 

“You know, when the blockade’s over, I want to explore the world. See what else is out there. Think of all of the books of different cultures and languages that I would find. I could go back to learning. Real learning. Not being cooped up and being fed outdated information because the nation doesn’t have enough funding for the academies. Who knows? Maybe one day I’ll even publish a book of my own.” He turned to you, an amused look on his face. “Shocked?”

Of course you were shocked. You always assumed he volunteered for the sake of fighting, though you realized now it had been a horrible misconception. It was hard to believe that Joonhee’s the same age as you (a few circas older, though) when in fact he was starting to sound like the damn Wisdom Tree himself. You wondered if he gained this wisdom in the army. 

You can die and still be a hero.

Why did you never consider this? What was this odd comfort that washed over you?

Has the scholar community been wrong all along? Maybe soldiers didn’t crave violence. Maybe they craved to be heroes. And what was so wrong with that? Wasn’t that who you wanted to be?

“People die out there,” Joonhee said. “We all know that. But it’s never a waste. No one dies without purpose. Every soldier who falls on the battlefield brings us one step closer to winning the war.”

“You’re not afraid?” you asked.

“Afraid of dying?” Joonhee shrugged. “Not really. But maybe my sentiments will change when I go to battle in a few years. I’m pretty stubborn, though. I think I’ll survive.” He turned to you with no particular expression on his face. “You’ve got three days, huh?” he said. “I’d say let everything sink in. You’re smart. You’ll make the right decision in the end.”

What do you want to do with your future?

Come to think of it, you’ve never really had a clear dream. It was always about being a good person—someone undeniably altruistic and kind, who helped anyone in need, like the heroes you grew up with. For years you believed that to be a hero, you were required to be present for whatever big change you ignited. To be a hero, you believed that you were guaranteed to survive. 

But that didn’t have to be the case. 

You can die and still be a hero.

Of course death was still an opaque subject, but this realization gave you another option. If you were really going to make a difference in the world, if you were really to become some sort of hero, you were going to have to make sacrifices: first for your parents, then for the future people of Darlae—for the scholars who dreamed of a real education, for those who wanted to explore the world, for those who wanted a peaceful kingdom. If those sacrifices led to your demise… Well, it didn’t seem like the end of the world anymore. I’m willing to put my life on the line for a chance at a warless Darlae.

What brave words. You wished you could say the same thing with even half of Joonhee’s confidence. The truth was, you were still terrified. The war always felt like it was an untouchable force, something that no matter what you did, would never go away. But things were different now. You could make a difference. Every soldier who falls on the battlefield brings us one step closer to winning the war. Those words stirred something inside of you. 

Perhaps it was a sense of responsibility, a sense of duty. A real hero would die trying to fight for what would help their loved ones. A real hero wouldn’t care if their fight ended in death, as long as something was changed. A real hero would be selfless and brave and kind.

Gone was your prejudice against those who volunteered for the army. They were human too, not just violent people who joined for a taste of blood. They were aspiring heroes. Just like you. They wanted to right the wrongs, even if they ended up dead because they trusted their comrades to carry on their lives. It was so valiant, such a grand gesture that it made your heart beat faster thinking about it.

And the more you thought, the clearer your future became.

It was obvious the choice you had to make.

So when the Lieutenant General came knocking on your door three days later, you were prepared. There was not a waver in your voice, not a single doubt when you uttered the words:

“Yes, sir. I accept.”

You didn’t know what to expect as a reaction, but you should’ve known it wouldn’t be very reactive. The Lieutenant General only nodded, his expression unreadable. “Welcome to the Darlaean Army, cadet.” His dark eyes glinted. “You will begin in one week.”

In a singular week?

That didn’t leave much time.

You only hoped your parents wouldn’t be too angry.

“I believe we’ll be reacquainted on the training grounds,” the Lieutenant General said. “When that time comes, cadet, I expect you to salute when you see me.”

You nodded, standing up straight and half-ready to salute him now. “Yes, sir!”

You nervously entered your single-room home in the 11th city. Your parents were sitting in the dark, hunched over their books again, right where you had left them circas ago. You felt a little sick. If they reacted the way Donghoon did, you wouldn’t know what to do with yourself. 

“Mother? Ma?”

Your parents turned around, their hollow faces half-obscured by the darkness of the room. Ma was the first to speak. “Welcome back, sweetheart!”

“Did we miss the end of the school year?” Mother asked, setting down her book and blinking heavily as if the light that streamed in when you opened the door blinded her. 

“No, I came back on my own accord,” you said. “Actually, I, um…” Already, things weren’t going the way you imagined. You struggled to find the right words. “There was a showcase at Botswana several days ago,” you began carefully.

“Showcases are military propaganda, Y/N,” Mother said, standing up with wobbly legs. Her back never stood straight and she stared at you behind full eyes. “I hope you didn’t participate.”

You gulped. “T-They were offering 50 jungs for the best performance.”

That seemed to put Ma out of her weary trance. “They were? Oh, honey, did you do it?” There was a hopeful lilt to her voice, and you hung onto it, in hopes that they would forgive you for making a choice without their input.

“Of course, Ma. I, well, they liked my performance so much that they um, once again offered me a spot in their training program for adolescents.” The information spills out of you quickly, before your parents can even react: “They’ll be paying us five thousand jungs and have already invited us to live in the 12th city.”

“Five thousand?!—”

“Live in the 12th city?!”

Mother shakes her head. “Y/N, why would they offer you so much?”

Even you were unsure of the exact reason. 

There was a bit of silence. It seemed like neither of your parents knew what to say.

Finally, after what seemed like a very long time, Mother spoke. “Is this… Is this what you want, Y/N?”

“Yes, honey, do you really want to become a soldier one day?” Ma chimed in.

They didn’t seem angry or upset, just puzzled. 

“I do,” you said. “I really do.”

“Well…?” Ma looked over at Mother, who had harsh frown lines all over her forehead. 

“You’ve already accepted, haven’t you?” Mother asked.

You began to play with your trinket in your hair. “I-I did… Are you mad?”

“No,” Mother said. “Only surprised.”

“You’d finally be appointed as royal divinists,” you told your parents, worried that they were still wary of your decision. “And we’d get to move out of this home and into a much nicer one in the 12th!”

“Yes…” Ma said. 

Your parents looked at each other, and maybe it was because you weren’t very close to them, but you couldn’t discern what they were wordlessly saying. You weren’t a divinist, after all.

If they suspected that you only accepted the offer for their sake, they didn’t make it obvious. They never even asked what you performed for your showcase. Didn’t even ask why you had such a sudden change of heart. Instead, they rather quickly packed up the little belongings that they had and moved one city over to the castle grounds—as if they couldn’t wait to get out of the 11th city. Soon after, your parents became appointed as royal divinists, their lifelong dream coming true, and you became a young soldier-in-training, your dream of attending Aven Quartz long forgotten.

Everybody at Botswana was surprised when you left. Some even questioned the sanity of your parents, for what kind of scholars would selfishly allow their only child to die in the war so that they could work for the royal family? What kind of pathetic parents would use their children to achieve their dreams? 

But your parents never had to hear these talks, and neither did you after a while. Soon, you and your parents settled into your new, magnificent home in the 12th city. The ceiling was unreachable, mahogany bookshelves towering over the other delicately-crafted furniture. Even the emerald green carpet was back, though it wasn’t the same one you grew up with. But the countless windows, reading nooks and candles brought you nostalgia, and you cherished the homely feeling along with your parents, who gained back the weight that they lost and looked much happier than before.

By the time you left for the castle grounds, it felt as if you’d lived in the 12th city all of your life—as if you left behind all of the bitter feelings towards the army in the 11th, where the scholars sat, forever reading their books and doing nothing about anything. 

⨰ previous | series m.list | next

⨰ a/n: behold the LONGEST lod chapter yet!! it took me over three months to write and edit :') hopefully you enjoyed this quick look at her early life! don't worry, jungkook will show up soon

please consider telling me your thoughts with a comment, an ask or a reblog :) i love hearing readers' impressions/rambles/predictions! if you want to join the taglist, send in a private message, ask, reply to this post or reblog with your request!