#and that everything works out before the deadline

[heechwe]

the start of time | 𝐩𝐣𝐬

୨୧ pairing: park (jay) jongseong x reader ୨୧ word count: 8.6k ୨୧ genre: angst, semi-fluff, smut ୨୧ tags: friends to strangers to lovers, childhood friends, miscommunication, pet names (baby, love, etc.), unprotected sex, TRIGGERS FOR DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND PARENTAL ABUSE IN THE LATTER HALF OF FIC. ୨୧ synopsis: You've lost your creative spark for the first time since moving away from Jeju Island, leaving behind your best friend in the process without an explanation. But when a work assignment sends you back to your hometown, truths come to light and perhaps lost love can come back with a little time and effort. ➸ bless @pars-ley for following this fic to the very beginning and being one of the best betas ever! this story is for you, ley, and thank you ♡ 💿Listen to the story's playlist here!

Over the thin railing that separates Jay from the cliffs below, the waves crash violently together. The weather mirrors the feelings circulating through his veins. The ripples of the seabed meeting the sand make him long for what his life could be instead of its current state. The wind whips his trenchcoat in angry thrashes against his back. His hands grip the lighthouse’s iron bars to keep his body steady. The upcoming storm was forecast last night to be one of the biggest downpours of the summer.

As the second in command of the lighthouse keeper, his father, it’s standard practice to be prepared for what’s to come. As the sea continues its visceral reaction to the weather, Jay thinks about her and what her life has become since she’s left. Is she happy? Is Seoul everything she dreamed of? Was running from Jeju without saying goodbye worth it? Or is she closer than he believes, her heart’s desire turning out to be not far from the fishing town they grew up in?

His father calls for him inside, interrupting his spiraling thoughts. Probably for the better, anyway. Thinking about those chapters of his life, the book separated cleanly and harshly with a before and after, does him no good. So, like he should, he runs inside to do the next task that keeps one of the last lighthouses in Jeju working properly. Even if his heart has to be sacrificed in the process.

The subject of your next photograph takes no interest in the lens standing three feet away. Her tail wiggles rapidly as she inspects the bush in front of her with her perky, wet nose. You giggle quietly behind your camera, trying not to disturb her inspection of the roses.

Rule #1 of photography, according to your department head Sunghoon, is to make yourself nonexistent. To get the perfect shot, conceal yourself as much as possible. It’s taken many practice sessions since your first magazine catalog, the original photos coming out less than perfect. Thankfully, you’re now lead photographer thanks to Sunghoon’s tutelage and tips. After five years, you feel like you’re on stable ground.

It reminds you of Jay, the sudden memory of him being the focus of your lens many times before a punch to the gut. Your oldest friend in the world probably wonders what the reason was for your sudden departure. You couldn’t even leave him a letter to provide some semblance of an explanation, one that he definitely deserved more than anyone else.

If only you had a reason that made sense or could salvage the bond you once shared. You know now it’s been eaten away by silence, so what could be said anyhow to repair it? 

Your guilt gnaws at your empty stomach the entire way back to the headquarters of Otherworldly, the magazine you interned at and subsequently were hired to take pictures for. You greet the rest of your team when you make your way upstairs.

”Finally found some inspiration?” Sunwoo asks. Your friend tries to balance a pencil on the top of his nose.

”I’m working on it. In the meantime, I got the copies you wanted.” You give him the folder that holds your pictures for the month’s spread.

”Barely made the deadline this time, kid.” Sunghoon tuts his head at you.

“Leave her be,” Chaewon chides him, thwacking her notebook on the back of his head. It’s nice to know the writer’s room has your back when the boys decide to tease, especially in the form of Chaewon. She may be a stern leader, but she also happens to have a soft spot for you, the only female photographer.

You hear your boss, Kim Taehyung, call your name and ask you to come to his office. Your body bristles at the command, but Chaewon pats you on the shoulder. “Probably just a timesheet thing.”

Tip-toeing into Taehyung’s office, you smile at his back. Your boss is focused on a box of files on the windowsill, the outline of his button up shirt highlighted by the sun. “Please sit,” he says.

You do as he asks, putting your hands on your knees to pinch the skin, an old habit you couldn't kick. You tuck your hands under your legs to stop when Taehyung turns to you. He presses his glasses higher to the bridge of his nose, a soft smile emerging on his lips. “I wanted to say your photos from the last column were very impressive.”

”Oh!” You respond instinctively. Expecting reprimands that turned out to be compliments, you mentally take a deep breath of relief. “Thank you, sir.”

"Also," he says, "I was wondering how you’d feel being sent out on an assignment. Well, you and Sunwoo, actually. Sunghoon was discussing a location-focused piece, and he recommended you for it since you may need a change of scenery for some fresh inspiration.”

You nod your head immediately. “Of course!”

Taehyung claps his hands together, clearly pleased. “Perfect. I’ve already booked you two for the next flight to Aewol in two days. It’ll probably be easy to find a place to stay, right?”

The pit in your stomach that faded immediately widens into a chasm. The sound of your hometown’s name on Taehyung’s lips could have been a figment of your imagination. A sick joke your guilt materialized to punish you further. But as you look longer at your boss, his glee transforming into hesitant confusion, you know the reality is far worse.

”The location piece is for Jeju,” you say, the realization on your lips hitting your ears like a cannon.

”Is that an issue? I can always send Jungwon with Sunwoo instead."

”No sir! Not a problem at all.” The words tumble out before you can stop them.

Jungwon, the little prick, wouldn’t get in the way of your success if you could help it. It’s bad enough that he reminds you of your creative block whenever he gets the chance. No way would he steal a cover piece from you. Particularly the one Sunghoon recommended you for and your boss expected you to complete without problems.

Despite the implications creating intense dread in every fiber of your being.

”Perfect. Get some sleep for the flight! I’ll send the piece details in an email first thing tomorrow morning.”

You walk back to your desk in a daze, unsure what to say when Sunghoon, Sunwoo, and Chaewon ask about the meeting. All your thoughts can center on is Jay, his smiling face continuously playing in your mind’s eye.

“This town is cute! A bit barren, but cute,” Sunwoo says as he exits the car parked in front of your childhood home. Your mother’s rose bushes stand tall near the mailbox, the only color in the dry grasslands surrounding your house. Aewol pales in comparison to the colors of Seoul, the city’s vibrant hues suddenly replaced with sepia tones. The only color that seems to shine through the landscape is the sea a five-minute walk away.

”Say that again, Woo, and your face won’t look so cute.” You roll your eyes and grab your luggage from the trunk.

Two weeks, only two weeks, you can survive two weeks. Your mantra on the flight to Jeju Island has been giving you some relief at the thought of going back home in half a decade. Standing in front of the brick and mortar that encapsulates your old house, you find the words to be extremely hollow.

With her uncanny senses, your mother is already out the door and greeting you and Sunwoo with hugs and kisses on the cheeks. How she could tell the two of you were barely out of the car without spying out the window, you’re unsure.

Sunwoo melts under your mother’s attention, his gummy smile and polite aura on full display. “Nice to meet you, ma’am.”

”Ah, my prayers were answered. Glad to see my daughter returned with a boyfriend!”

Yours and Sunwoo’s eyes grow to saucers. Your tongues are erupting with explanations at an absurdly fast speed. “No, Mom,” you shush her as Sunwoo’s blush creeps across his neck. “Woo’s my coworker. He’s here with me on an assignment.”

”Oh! Apologies.” She laughs behind one hand and pats Sunwoo on the back with the other. “Doesn’t mean one day you can’t be more than coworkers! That’s how your father and I met, remember?”

You give her a close-lipped smile and nod, the muscles in your jaw tightening.

You hadn’t thought about your father or your parents’ relationship once since you had flown out to the mainland. Admittedly, your life was all the better for it.

Feeling the air of his presence surrounding yours again twists the veins in your neck to tense knots. The ends of your hair prickle in anticipation. You make it to the front of your doorstep, wondering where he is and why he didn’t barge outside to greet you.

Like she can read your mind, your mother says, “I forgot to call and tell you, honey. Your father had an accident at the factory a month ago.” You see a tear in the corner of her eye, but you don’t address it. “So…he’s been bedridden for the past few months now.”

Sunwoo expresses his deepest sympathies. Unbeknownst to him, they deserve to go to the next beggar before him.

Like any other child, you should worry about your father’s sudden health change with a heavy heart and a frazzled mind. You should feel guilty for being away for so long, wondering how to make up for the lost time.

But you feel nothing. Not an ounce of what you should feel.

Even when you sit by your parents’ bed, his eyes lazily gazing out the window while your mother tells him in a loving voice that you’re home, your emotions are devoid of anything negative or positive. Sunwoo smiles and greets him politely. Your father says nothing. The seizure that overtook him stole his ability to enunciate coherent words.

Some moments later, when it’s just the two of you in the room together, you itch to leave. It should be a pleasure to see him. But you’re unsure to see it any other way but objectively: he’s just a body in a bed, doing nothing every day.

You hear your mother shouting in the living room. Her voice is at an abnormally high pitch to exemplify her happiness. You forgot she could achieve such a decibel when she wanted to.

”You won’t believe who’s here, Seongie!”

Seongie.

The childhood nickname Jay was blessed with by his parents, and the name stuck like a second skin. Now, it bounces off your ears and exacerbates your already conflicting emotions. Your body goes into overdrive from the sudden overstimulation, at ease from knowing Jay is close by but petrified you're seeing him after so long.

You fix your hair and take tentative steps out of your parents' room and into the hallway, hearing your mother call your name to beckon you to welcome your old friend.

When you see him, his frame filling the doorway of your childhood house, you’re transported back in time. You see yourself and Jay on a day when he could barely stand at half the wall height. You were etching pencil markings into the doorframe, the wood concealing the handwriting perfectly when the door was fully closed. A time when there were no worries or anxieties placed on you, the two of you against the world.

Looking over his face now, you realize the years have not shown physically. He still has the same angled jaw and smooth cheeks. His bottom lip remains puffy, especially when he pouts. The only thing that has changed with time is his eyes, most likely from the image before him, one he hasn’t seen in so long.

He has every right to be confused. One second, you stopped being a staple in his life. Now, you’re back in it without a warning.

You can’t deny your heart clenching. The muscle seizes when he looks over your figure, his jaw ticking when he finally meets your eyes with his own.

”You’re back,” he says finally. His first words to you in five years hold an air of uncertainty, laced with unspoken pain. He’s unsure what to do with his body, his arms pressed to his sides and his hands stuffed tightly into his pockets.

Knowing you’re the cause of it makes you want to run to Seoul all over again with your tail between your legs, hoping you can forget the misery you’ve caused. How can one apology hold enough weight to make up for what you did to one of the only people you’ve ever loved?

Sunwoo, aware of the sudden tension flooding the room, holds out a hand to your best friend. “Hi, I’m Sunwoo.”

Jay breaks eye contact with you to take Sunwoo’s palm, shaking it with a gentle but present grip. Jay gestures to your mom when he discusses yours and Sunwoo’s job at the magazine. “She’s very proud of her daughter, you know."

”Of course!” Your mother exclaims. “‘S not everyday that your child becomes some hip photographer.”

Jay inhales a heavy breath and looks down at his watch. “I have to go back to the lighthouse, but—“

”I thought your dad still ran that thing,” you cut Jay off. Aewol’s lighthouse was one of the last on the island, and the last love Jay’s father had left after his wife passed away twelve years ago. You expected it to stay in the family, but not in this way. Not when Jay has so many dreams to fulfill. Or, at least, you hope so.

Jay releases a humorless laugh, eyes falling at the corners. “Pop’s getting old. Can’t do it forever.”

He hugs your mother and gives a soft wave to Sunwoo. You feel the pit in your chest from a few days ago re-erupt when Jay looks in your direction before he departs. All you’re left with is the grim line of his mouth to haunt you for the rest of your afternoon.

The shutter of your camera makes Jay turn his head to you with a shy grin, his hair blowing in all directions from the wind. Your spot on the cliffside overlooking the sea is close enough to the lighthouse for you to see Jay’s father going in and out of the structure with supplies shipped from the mainland. Jay only runs over when his father calls for him to help, but his father hasn’t bothered to in the last hour or so.

In the downtime, the two of you have been alternating between science homework and enjoying the cool, cloudy weather. You’ve taken a number of shots of the water’s current and weeds surrounding your picnic blanket, but the majority of them were of your best friend. He pretends he’s going to smack your lens away, but he never does.

“Are you done taking candid shots of me?” Jay asks, his pencil scratching against his notebook.

“Depends. Maybe once you tell me what you’re writing,” you tease. “Because it’s definitely not a chemical equation.”

Jay chuckles and puts his notebook between the two of you. The words are jumbled in front of you until you recognize them as a recipe. “I was testing out this version of hoedeopbap last night, but I used white fish instead of salmon. It turned out really good, even Jaeyun liked it.”

You rest your head on your hand, sprawling out on the blanket to look at Jay. He always appears so animated when discussing food. You wonder when he’ll take the initiative and do something with his passion.

“What?” He asks when he catches you staring.

You grin and turn your eyes away. “You’re just a dork for food, is all.”

“Says the nerd with her camera always around her neck.”

You click your tongue at him. “I consider myself an opportunist. How else will I get good shots if I don’t have my baby with me?” You rub your camera’s body lovingly, and Jay releases a hearty laugh.

The booming sound of your father’s voice calling your name makes your entire body flinch. You swear his figure is as tall as the lighthouse as he comes towards your picnic blanket, stopping short when he sees Jay next to you.

“It’s almost dinner time. Let’s go home.” Your father says the words with a false ease; they hide his warning to follow him back to your house. Your anxiety rumbles low in your stomach, but you play it off like it’s nothing as you pack up your stuff.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Jay says, his eyes hopeful for the next morning. As it is your routine for him to bike with you to school, you’re also counting the minutes until you see him again.

“See you tomorrow,” you say, your eyes soft but your stomach wrapped in knots. When you’re out of sight, and your father wraps his hand around your upper arm on your way to the car, you calculate the next seconds until you’re away from him and back in the safety of your best friend’s presence.

You and Sunwoo have been around the town square of Aewol all morning and afternoon. The crisp hour of 4 PM hits you sharply with the sound of cows and other livestock sounding off somewhere nearby. The pictures you’ve both taken of the local townspeople, random animals passing through the pale greenery, and subtle landscape have been average at best. They don’t hit you with awe or fuel any further inspiration. It’s the same cycle you’ve repeated for the past three months, trying to strike some sort of match of creativity only to come up empty.

“Let’s be honest,” Sunwoo says, looking over his own camera’s reel. “These kinda blow.”

“You don’t say?” You kick a free cobblestone off the road in front of you, lips downturned.

“The assignment is ‘Hidden Treasures’ right? Maybe we’re just looking in the wrong place.”

“Where do you think we’ll find something like that here?”

“You’re a local,” Sunwoo says in his defense. “Where did you go all the time in this backwater town?”

The beginning of your sarcastic remark dies on your lips the second you see Jay walking out of the laundromat with Heeseung, one of your old high school friends. He looks the same as Jay, still youthful but showing maturity around the edges.

Jay catches your eyes as they continue walking, his face contorting in surprise but unsure how to address it. Heeseung is the one to run towards you and pick you up in a tight hug, practically squeezing the remaining energy out of you.

“Holy shit, Jong wasn’t lying! You’re really back!” Heeseung laughs, his eyes becoming crescent moons from his happiness. You match his reaction, genuinely glad to see another familiar face.

You introduce Sunwoo to Heeseung, and Sunwoo exchanges pleasantries with Jay. Jay remains tense, the two of you conflicted about how to bridge the awkwardness that lingers.

Heeseung, like Sunwoo, is a great detective, sniffing out tension and immediately directing the conversation to your cameras. “So, Jong was saying you’re here for an assignment?”

“Yes!” Sunwoo says before you can. “We’re trying to find hidden treasures, actually. Our boss’s words, not mine.” Heeseung laughs at Sunwoo and then flicks his fingers.

“Jong could show you guys the inside of the lighthouse! Or even the view from that damn balcony would be a treasure in its own right. You can practically see the whole town from up there. Right, Jong?”

Jay rolls his eyes and rolls the cuffs of his sleeves up to his elbows. “Yeah, that would be fine.”

“Perfect! We were dying here without any good material. No offense to you small town folk,” Sunwoo apologizes, but neither of your old friends mind. They welcome Sunwoo’s city perspective with laughter and an open hand, just like they always have with newcomers.

On your walk to the lighthouse, Heeseung and Sunwoo taking the lead, you’re left to walk alongside Jay. The tension is a tad looser than it was before, but it still pervades the space between you both.

Finally, Jay says, “I can’t believe you’re actually home, y’know.” He says the sentence more like a question, his voice unable to mask the traces of hurt that linger.

It makes your heart rip, but you avoid the workings inside your chest to keep the conversation light. "It took a long time, didn't it?”

”Yeah. It’s like you dropped off the planet.” Jay’s voice turns a degree lighter. He smiles, the crack in his solid facade giving you a way back in.

“I basically did. All I had was my camera and some clothes in my bag.”

Jay's eyes widen, startled by the thought. “You’ve never traveled light once in your entire life.”

”I know! I barely had time to grab the necessities.”

His eyes are filled with humor. “And by that, you mean…”

“Obviously my Pokémon collection, for starters. I had to start from scratch,” you joke. “Good thing I saved all of the old cards under my bed.”

”Even the one of Charmander that I dropped in Jaeyun’s homemade soju?”

You nod, laughing. “It still smells like watermelon.”

”Bullshit!”

You both fall into an easy rhythm of witty banter and taunting, recalling old memories and brushing shoulders in a mocking fashion.

By the time you’re taking photographs on the highest floor of the lighthouse, the tension has dissipated by a large portion. Your relationship with Jay may not be completely back to where it was before, but the first lighthearted smile he throws in your direction proves it’s a start.

And a start is just enough to make your heart feel a million pounds lighter.

“So Jongseong is flailing this card around, not realizing that the bowl of my signature soju punch is right there behind him…” Jake tells the story of the Charmander card with animated expressions. Heeseung and Jay roll their eyes, but Sunwoo laughs the entire time, his buzz bumping his energy to a level you had never seen before.

The bonfire Jake and Heeseung set up a walk away from the lighthouse is big enough for all five of you to sit comfortably around it. It seemed to be the only way your old friends could hang out together at this point in their adult lives. The bar that still stood in town filled with too many old people to feel like an acceptable hangout location.

“And he completely dropped not only her precious Pokémon card, but his whole fist into the punch bowl! I had to make a whole new batch without my parents knowing about it!” Jake laughs incredulously.

The memory still holds a level of insanity for him, clearly—not just at the situation but the level of teasing that you and Jay would devolve to when you were in your own little world together. You couldn’t help that you wanted to take your card from Jay’s hands, even if that meant soaking him in alcohol to get him to give it up.

You lift your beer to your lips, blushing. Jay sits beside you and notices the humor in your expression, smiling to himself too. You didn’t expect to reach this level of closeness again so soon. Who knew it would take a work project to find your way back to each other? With the week coming to a close and a good catalog of photos under your belt thanks to him, you could say the glass was looking half full.

“You guys got any more stories? This shit’s hilarious!” Sunwoo says, still laughing.

“Loads, man,” Jake responds.

“He’s got the best memory of all of us. Probably remembers all of our first naps in elementary,” Heeseung adds.

“How about we focus on the present, please? Otherwise we’ll be here until the sun comes up, Dee and Dum,” Jay says, pointing to the prime suspects with their all-knowing smirks.

“What else is there to say, Jay? Jake and I have been toiling on the dredging boats. You keep guarding that white tower and saying no to your uncle every time he asks you to work at his restaurant. Same old, same old.”

You turn your head to stare at Jay, perplexed. “Why didn’t you say anything?” 

It’s always been Jay’s dream to make something of himself with his recipes. Bookmarks, sticky notes, anything with free space held an ingredient here or a step for a recipe there. It was like it was second nature, as were photographs for you.

How could he deny himself from what he wanted?

“I already have responsibilities here. I can’t drive up and down the highway to Park & Co. every day.”

“Start small, idiot.” You chide him, half-serious in your pestering. “Who said you couldn't do both? You can be a good son and still have your own dream.”

“Careful,” Jake says to you. “He might listen to you.”

“You’re the only one who gets through that cold heart of his,” Heeseung teases.

Jay gives the older boys a stern look, and they back off immediately.

On the walk back to your house, Jay’s jacket nestled around your shoulders, you grill him further on the prospect of him cooking seriously. “You should do it.”

Jay shakes his head, running his fingers through his hair. “And what’ll happen to the lighthouse? My dad will go back every morning on his cane and keep it working himself? No way.”

“Come on, who says you can’t do both?” You flaunt your arms in the air, emphasizing your point. “It’s not like it rains every day here.”

He looks at you with humored eyes, their shape becoming extremely thin when he smiles. “You’re even more stubborn as an adult, you know?

You poke your tongue out at him. “I could say the same about you, Seongie.”

The rain soaks your clothes when you run through Jay’s door. You shake off the droplets in your hair, most of the strands needing to be wrung out in your fist. Jay gets you a towel to dry off with, laughing at your current state of affairs.

”Don’t make fun of me. Be glad I still came, asshole,” you warn, warming yourself with the dryness of the cotton towel.

Jay raises his hands in mercy. “I told you to come earlier! Forecasts are no joke.”

”Sometimes they’re wrong,” you say. 

”Ninety-five percent of the time, they’re not. Trust the lighthouse keeper next time, maybe? I’ve been watching those skies for three years. I know if and when the weathermen are full of shit.”

You roll your eyes and shuck your shoes off, “Whatever. Any chance you have a spare pair of warm socks for me? I may get frostbite.”

”One, that involves snow,” Jay says as he walks into his small bedroom, leaving you alone for a second before coming out with what you requested. “And two, promise to bring them back. I only have so many pairs before I have to go to the city for more.”

”Scout’s honor,” you promise. You switch out your soaked socks for Jay’s, the feeling of the fabric making you immediately warmer. It could also be the fireplace that Jay put kindling in before you got there, but it’s mostly the socks. “Thank you. I feel better already.”

“I’d offer you a set of clothes too, but I’m moving a lot of my stuff from my dad’s.”

“It’s not that far away, though. You really want to live in this tiny shack?”

Jay laughs and returns to his food on the stove. “Do you think I could bring a girl home living with him? I love him, but I’m getting too old to be his roommate.”

You smile and press your arms into the kitchen counter, but you know it’s false. The thought of Jay being with someone else sprouts a gargantuan knot of jealousy in your stomach. He’s never belonged to you, not by any means. Not only that, but your illogical departure gives you no right to claim him now. And yet…

“Hey, where’d you go?” He waves a dish towel in front of your face, a smile on his lips.

“Sorry, just lost in thought,” you play off your prying thoughts.

“Obviously.” He sticks his tongue out at you and continues to stir the concoction on the stove.

“What are you making anyway?”

“Seaweed soup. I haven’t been able to make you any since…the last birthday we spent together.”

Your body warms deep down to the soles of your feet at this surprise. “My birthday was three months ago.”

He chuckles and turns his head to you, smirking. “Consider it a belated birthday gift then.” He carries on stirring, but continues talking. “Besides, you always liked my soup compared to your mom’s. Too watery, if I remember right.”

You blush and step away from the counter. “Let’s not talk about her or her food.”

Jay’s face turns puzzled. “You’ve always been so bristly when we talk about your family. Your mom is one of the sweetest ladies in town." 

“You don’t get it. You didn’t grow up with her.”

“Hey, at least you have both parents around.”

You slam your hand down on another laminate countertop, growing more frustrated the longer the topic is broached. “Jongseong, please drop it.”

“Why are you getting so upset?” He asks, puzzled and growing alarmingly quiet at your outburst.

“Because you don’t get it! And you never will, okay? So let it go!”

The kitchen suddenly feels too suffocating, the memories of the past and your argument melding together in a way that makes any hunger that you had become a full stomach stuffed with nothing but anger and fear. You run out of the house and back into the rain, knowing if you say anything more, your secrets will fall around you like pellets soaking your skin.

The lanterns fill the sky like a thousand stars, close enough for you to touch before they’re whisked away into the dark clouds above you. Even for your small town, every adult and child knows the end of summer festival is a time to make the last set of wishes and affirmations before autumn comes. If Jay’s father yearned for an easy season, he would buy a lantern to release on a night light tonight, as would your friends’ families who hoped for good health and fortune.

You smile when you manage to catch one, holding on tight despite knowing it’s against tradition. Once one is meant to float away, it was considered rude to stop it from continuing on its path upward.

Jay chuckles and grabs it from you, matching your pout in jest. “Next year, I’ll buy you your own, alright? Don’t be greedy!”

You roll your eyes and watch the lantern rise up and away from your spot on the beach. It shimmers in an amber glow until it slips away into the black sky overhead.

You turn to him, eyes lit up not just from the lantern flames. “Did you wish for anything this year?”

Jay shrugs. “I can’t really wish for anything ‘cause I didn’t get—“

“Don’t give me that! It’s symbolic, anyway. Just tell me,” you whine.

Jay only side-eyes you, a smirk playing on his lips.

You attempt to throw a bundle of sand in his direction, but he sees your upcoming attack the second you raise your arm. He takes your wrist in his hand, the clump disintegrating between your fingers. The two of you laugh as you try to wiggle free from his grasp.

You’re both a tangle of limbs until he finally pins you down on the ground. He hovers above you, panting hard. “I win,” Jay replies, his breathing ragged but eyes still sparkling from a successful takedown.

“You wish.”

In the flicker of lantern lights and midnight stars overhead, Jay can’t help himself from leaning down closer until there’s barely a breath between your lips. He lets every doubt that has lingered over the past fourteen years dissipate and surrenders to the moment, feeling the softness of your mouth as he kisses you.

You could be glowing as bright as the lights still being sent off into the sky. You feel like you are, anyway.

He doesn’t go faster or push you further, the simplicity of the act making you sparkle from within with every ebb and flow of your conjoined lips. The crackle of a firework is what makes the two of you come up for air, unaware of how much time has passed.

 You let the moment hang between you the entire walk home. He holds your hand, squeezing it every now and then, the action more valuable than any words he could say right now. He holds himself back from giving you another kiss to say goodnight, knowing there’s always tomorrow.

Minutes after you make it inside, the scene in front of you turns whatever joy was left from Jay’s presence into acid.

“Can you not do anything right around here? I ask for the simplest things and even that’s too much.” Your father points to the food in his hands with an air of disgust directed at your mother.

He spits his vitriol in her face, the pattern commonplace. The behavior is nothing new, but his eyes show something worse than normal brewing beneath the surface.

“I can fix it,” your mother assures him, trying to take the bowl from him. “I’ll throw out the old batch and—“

“So now you think wasting food is the better choice? Are you stupid?”

The two of them are unaware of your presence, but even if they were, you doubt that would change the downward spiral they were heading towards.

She tries to walk away from him like she always has, diffusing the situation in the only way she knows how, but he drops the bowl on the counter and takes her by the arm.

“You’re not leaving,” he warns. The next moments pass in a blur, each one that plays out making you hover outside of your body, looking down in disbelief. Your mother’s temple hits the wood with a terrible thud. The next second, your body is pressed against your father’s to pull him away, begging, “Daddy, please stop!” 

His upper arm has enough force to jam into your chest and knock you onto the kitchen tile below. Pain reverberates up your tailbone from hitting the floor in a violent bang.

Your mother comes from the daze of her assault to cover your body with her own. It’s a pointless defense, your father’s feet slamming hard on the floor as he walks away and into the bedroom without looking back once.

She apologizes profusely, holding your head in her hands as tears stream down her face without an endpoint. You can barely form a tear yourself, still unsure the past ten minutes happened at all. An hour ago, you had your first kiss, and now…

“Your aunt lives on a coast off the mainland. I can’t let you stay here anymore, my love.”

That moment is when you feel the water form in your eyes. You couldn’t leave now, not with so much left uncertain.

“Promise me you’ll leave this place. Don’t think about this night again and find something better, please.”

That entire night, the waves knocking into each other with the same force as you had encountered hours ago, you feel your heart shatter into a multitude of pieces, each fragment tinier and more painful than the last. The thought of Jay waking up to see you in the morning only to find you erased from his life, robs any chance of you sleeping on the boat ride to Wando.

He’ll try to call and text, for sure. But what could be said that would explain the last twenty four hours without breaking your promise to your mother? How could you live with sharing such intimate details of your household, even with someone as sacred to you as Jay is?

How could you make him believe it wasn’t his fault that you fled without revealing your most vulnerable and harsh reality? After coming so close to the future you always dreamed of with him, what would he think? What would he do?

So, like any coward does, you let the phone ring until your battery dies, not bothering to charge it again until you make it to your aunt’s. You tell yourself he’ll move on and life will be better with you safe and out of the picture. Every beat of your breaking heart may call you a liar, but you’ll learn to twist it into the truth one day.

The next afternoon, sun slowly setting to meet the waves below, you walk towards the lighthouse with the courage your younger self didn’t have the night you ran away. Your heart tosses around in your mouth when you take the first step through the threshold, but now is the last time you fear the truth. If you couldn’t explain the circumstances back then, the least you could do was explain them now.

You take the trek up the steps to the top floor of the lighthouse, every step heavier than the last. Jay stands inside the lantern room cleaning the large bulb at the center of the space. He immediately tenses when you walk through the open door, but he says nothing. He only holds the same somber expression he had the first day you arrived back in Aewol. Only now, so much more rests behind his face that you cannot decipher.

“I’m sorry,” you say finally. The words release something you believed couldn’t be separated from your being. Your guilt remains present, but the apology provides a long-held breath of fresh air.

He looks up to meet your gaze, eyebrows furrowing just a touch. The setting sun casts amber shadows across his face, making his confusion breathtaking. Clearly, he’s unsure what exactly you’re apologizing for.

The next words already taste like lead in your mouth, but you can’t hold the weight of them for another second.

Speaking them out loud is what will set you free.

“The night I left, my dad pushed my mom into a cabinet,” you confess. The eight words you just uttered create a well of tears in your eyes, but you keep your voice level and solid. “He had always been…harsh before, not just with her, but that was the first night I ever saw him hurt her with his hands instead of his words.

“I tried to stop it from getting worse, and I fell down—no,” you take a breath, “h-he threw—he threw me down on the floor.” You feel foolish for trying to minimize his actions, knowing there’s no reason to protect him anymore. You lower your head, ashamed. “That was when my mom called my aunt in Wando. She begged me not to say anything, so I kept it a secret. You’re the first person I’ve ever told about it… and about how much of an asshole my father really is.”

You can’t help the way your words crumble on your tongue or the low whimper that erupts from your lips. You had accepted in silence the harsh reality of your father being a violent and cruel human being, but speaking the words aloud is another beast entirely.

You go cold, your figure limp until you feel Jay’s gentle fingers under your chin. They pull your face up to meet his, catching his glassy and red eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me then?”

You sniffle. “What would you have done? We were seventeen—“

“Fuck that,” Jay seethes, his face a mixture of anger and heartbreak. “I would’ve killed him then, just like I want to right now.”

You laugh and take his fingers in yours. “I made a promise.” You lock onto his gaze harder, trying to convey every ounce of regret you still feel. “I thought about calling you every day. I’d pick up the phone and didn’t know how to come up with the right words, especially after…”

Jay laughs, passing over the curve of your cheek with his thumb. It’s the rhythmic pattern of his touch that makes you come down from such heightened emotions. It’s always been his superpower, grounding you like this. “If I had known I wouldn’t see you again, I would’ve kissed you until the sun came up.”

You blush, your body flushing with heat. “Nothing’s stopping you now, Jongseong. And I’m not going anywhere.”

He steps forward, the shy boy you grew to love appearing in front of you. The last time you were this close, you both were unsure about most things in life, but not about how much you meant to him, and vice versa.

Now, the feelings he had put on hold for so long take hold of him, his heart a kaleidoscope of pent-up sensations when he finally presses his lips to yours. His mouth is ravenous, his tongue finding yours as his arms clutches onto your body with fervor.

You’re encased in him, all the lost time suddenly found in the spaces of his mouth on yours, your hands on his body, and the moans that leave your mouth. He undoes the buttons of your cardigan with quick ease, taking it off of your shoulders and somewhere in the room you don’t care to remember. You help him pull the sweater over his head to kiss the column of his throat and top of his chest, making him shudder.

You both pause to hurry down to the drawing room below, not wanting to continue on the iron floor next to the bright bulb of the lighthouse. Yes, the cot off to the side of the room is not incredibly comfortable, but you care little about its lack of comfort when Jay lays you down on your back and smothers your body in kisses. He makes a map of your skin until he meets the apex of your thighs, your body highly strung by the time he kisses the center of your legs.

You clutch his hair with both hands and hold tight in the midst of his ministrations, his whispered words of affirmation and the figure-eight patterns of his tongue saying just enough to push you closer to the edge of ecstasy.

He lifts his head from your body to crawl over you, his heart in his mouth as he says the words that have always been in his mind and heart from the second he saw you. “I love you.”

You’re unsure if it’s normal to cry at such a confession or in the midst of your current situation, but regardless, there are no tears of fear or pain. They’re ones that fill the silence between you with what he already knows to be true. But you say the words he needs to hear anyway. “I love you, too, Seongie.”

This is what it feels like to be at home. His body against yours, him sliding so easily inside of you without a word needed for the immense amounts of pleasure that already exists. It could be a handful of minutes or a span of time that carries over into the next morning. All that matters is his lips on your own and his hips meeting yours with every thrust.

And in between every movement, he has to remind you how much he loves you. His words and feelings are already embossed into your heart, but it’s nice to hear the breathless cadence of his voice. “I love you so much,” he groans, his end close with the sudden stutters of his body.

You fall off the cliffside together, your bodies in sync in the best possible way as your eyes see the stars from the very first night you kissed in the back of your eyelids. And when he has his hands in your hair, his touch lulling you to sleep, you wonder why it took you this long to come back to the one person who has always been the safest space in your world.

The two of you stay nestled in the thin blanket, Jay’s body your source of warmth in the small drawing room of the lighthouse. The cot barely holds your bodies, but with you both squeezing together and not wanting to let go, you make it work.

Jay takes stray hairs from your face to tuck behind your ears. “I can’t believe you didn’t know how bad my crush was until the festival.”

You giggle into his chest. “I wasn’t paying attention to boys back then! How would I have known?” You hold his gaze, suddenly vulnerable.

He chuckles. “I think I was pretty obvious.”

“To everyone but me, I guess,” you joke. “Besides, I think I always knew I’d end up with you, strangely.”

“That’s not strange, not at all.” He kisses you tenderly, nipping your lips until you laugh into his mouth. “Perfect. At least to me.”

“Same,” you agree. “I’ve never felt more at home than when I’m with you.”

Jay responds by holding you tighter between his arms. He kisses the top of your head before whispering, “So where do we go from here?”

The answer is simple, but that doesn’t make it any easier to face.

Jay looks deeply into your eyes and senses the words you cannot say, and the strength of his stare and his arms as your protective walls from all the harm that still exists in this world gives you the power to confront what you need to.

That afternoon, leaving Jay in the lighthouse with your heart fully in his possession, you know you have to face the demons that wait for you in your childhood home. If you are to have a future together, the first thing you have to do is make peace with the past.

A handwritten note on the fridge tells you your mother went out for groceries, giving you the perfect excuse to release the words that would end your terror once and for all.

You enter your parents’ room to see your father, unmoved from the spot you saw him in on the first day you were back home. Your mother pleaded for you to check in every now and then now that you were back, but you couldn’t bring yourself to. Not until now.

You move the chair by his bedside out to sit down. When you finally face him again, you take note of the details you were too blinded by indifference to notice before. You observe the wrinkles on his forehead, the sunken divots under his eyes, the age lines surrounding his mouth, the frailness of his body.

The weight he’s lost since his accident makes all his features stand out more. All that he’s lost, but has also always been, is on full display now: this husk of a man without the venomous words and bravado to hide behind is truly nothing to be scared of anymore.

 “You’re so much smaller than I realized.” You say it with a breath of relief, any fear or anger that was left behind for him in your soul replaced with pity. You can walk away without regrets or words you wish you could’ve said, because you know now it’s a waste of your peace. Maybe one day, you’ll find it in your heart to forgive, even. Not today, but someday.

You walk away with no grievances left, back in the direction of the lighthouse with a new purpose and ready to take the path you were always meant to. Back to the home you’ve always had resting inside of the one you love.

Jay stands with his back facing you, staring off into the expanse of sea in front of him. His shoulders ease as you step closer.

“You’re back,” he says with saccharine happiness. He takes your hand in his and presses your fingers to his lips.

“I am,” you respond. You kiss him with your whole soul, incredibly in love and unafraid of what will come next.

“Babe! The new issue is here!”

You open your eyes to the sound of Jay’s words. You could barely doze off when he was so excited to grab the mail this morning. It was only delivered a few minutes ago, but of course he has to check for the newest spread of Otherworldly in your mailbox. To his happiness and your shy pride, your name’s plastered in almost every section of the photography credits.

Convincing your boss to let you work for the magazine from your hometown turned out to be easier than expected. With his happiness from your newfound inspiration, it seemed like you could take pictures of algae for all he cared and it would be a hit in the magazine’s eyes.

You weren’t the only one who could take credit, though. Jay’s name was also included in some of the photos, his insight into Aewol’s cuisine and new sous chef position at Park & Co providing more than enough influence for your photography. The lighthouse would always be his priority (aside from you), but his second love of food could not be kept at bay any longer.

He opens the magazine to the first page that features your photos, the centerfold being of Jay’s original recipe for hoedeopbap. “It looks even better in print,” Jay says, his face three shades brighter staring at the meal.

You giggle and wrap your arms around his middle, peeking your head out from the side of his shoulder to look at the pages. “It’s really good, isn’t it?”

“Some of the best you’ve ever done.” He turns in your hold to press your chest to his, kissing your forehead in the process. “How’d I get so lucky?”

“Actually, getting lucky is how we got this.” You take his hand and rest it on the curve of your stomach, fifteen weeks peaking out from under the midriff of your tank top.

He laughs and presses his lips to your cheek. “I love you.”

To your surprise, peace was easier to find than you had expected. Confronting what you ran away from all those years ago feels like a distant memory, the pain of the past a part of another reality. There are no monsters that creep in the shadows or secrets to keep locked behind closed doors.

All that remains is the ease that comes from a life filled with nothing but love and happiness, as weightless and freeing as a lantern floating through the sky.

“I love you too, Park Jongseong.”

@junekissed (thank for beta-ing also june!! ilysm) @yvnempire @sjylouvre @mini-mews @jayparked @heesuncore @yoursjaeyun @sungbeams @jenoslutie @loserlvrss

𝐧𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 ౨ৎ˚₊

@kvanity-main @sweetvenomnet @onedoornet @sayxonet @violetanet @svthub @whipped-kpop-creators

[httpsdana]

heyy! i feel bad for putting in a request hopefully ur not busy. just wanted to say i love ur fics sm and hope u are having a great day.

so today im like not feeling myself and upset and wanted to know if u could make a cubarsi fic with fluff.

so i have a science project and im the only one working and we have so much to do and my friends are stressing me. my parents are helping but yk when it’s too much.

so anything with Pau x reader with Pau comforting her would be amazing tysmm! 💕🫶🏽

Heartfelt Equations~Pau Cubarsi

*Pictures are from Pinterest*

I saw the request and knew I should write it quickly. hope u feel better anon, i know u're gonna nail the project 🫶🏻

request from here

master list -> part 2

players/drivers I write for

y/n is staring at her laptop screen, eyes glazed over, feeling like she's drowning in numbers, notes, and complicated diagrams.

The clock on the wall ticks loudly, reminding her of the deadline creeping closer, and she can feel the stress building like a storm inside you.

Her group of friends was supposed to be helping, but one by one, they’d left her to handle everything alone. Her family offered what help they could, but it was clear that science projects weren’t their strong suit. She was in this alone, and it was overwhelming.

Suddenly, she heard a familiar knock at the door, followed by the gentle creak as it opens. Before she can even turn around, a pair of warm arms wrap around her shoulders from behind.

“Hey, mi pequeña científica,” Pau’s soft voice fills the room, his chin resting on top of her head. (my little scientist)

“You look like you’re about two seconds away from throwing this laptop out the window.” he joked, sensing her overwhelmed situation.

y/n let out a sigh, leaning back into his embrace. “Two seconds? I think I’m already there,” she muttered, closing her eyes to keep the frustration at bay. “This project is impossible, and none of my friends have helped at all. I’m just… I don’t even know where to start anymore.”

Pau gently spins her chair to face him, his hands resting on her shoulders as he looks down at her with a soft smile. “Let me see this mess, then. I’m here now, and I’m not leaving until we get this done together, okay?”

She looked at him, a flicker of hope sparking in her chest.

“You mean it? You don’t have to—” she started

“Of course I mean it,” he interrupts, pulling her up from the chair and guiding her to the kitchen table where all her papers are scattered. “What kind of boyfriend would I be if I let my amazing, hardworking girl drown in science notes?”

y/n let out a laugh at his words, feeling some of the tension slip away. “Alright, you asked for it. Welcome to the chaos,” she said gesturing to the mess of papers, half-finished calculations, and diagrams that don’t even make sense to her anymore.

Pau grins, sitting beside hee and picking up a stray page. “Wow, you really went all out here. Let’s see, we’ve got… a million equations and some pretty impressive doodles on the side of this page.” He points to a little sketch she'd absentmindedly drawn of a sun with sunglasses.

she blushed, reaching to snatch the paper from him, but he holds it out of reach, laughing. “No way! I’m keeping this as evidence of your creative genius. But seriously,” he says, his expression softening, “you’re incredible for even attempting this all on your own. Now, let’s break it down together, alright?”

With a deep breath, she nods and explains the project to him, pointing out all the sections that still need to be done. Pau listens carefully, nodding along, and as soon as she's finished explaining, he grabs a pencil and a fresh piece of paper.

“Alright, my love. You take care of the data, and I’ll start on the graphs. Let’s tackle this step by step.” he said, giving her an encouraging smile.

They both dive into the work, and it’s like a weight has been lifted. Pau’s presence grounds her, his little jokes making her smile as he meticulously draws out her graphs and even colors them in with highlighters he found in her pencil case. Every now and then, he looks up at her with a grin.

“You know, you’re gonna owe me a big thank-you kiss for all this coloring,” he teases, holding up a bright yellow bar he’s highlighted.

“Oh, trust me,” she laughs, “I’ll give you all the kisses you want after this.”

“Deal,” he says, his eyes twinkling as he reaches over and plants a quick kiss on her forehead.

Hours pass, and the project finally starts coming together. With one last click, y/n saves the final document, and an overwhelming sense of relief washes over her. She slumps back in her chair, exhaling deeply.

“It’s… it’s done,” she whispers, almost in disbelief.

Pau immediately pulls her into his arms, lifting her off the chair and twirling her around. “I told you we’d finish it. Look at you, mi genio. You did it” (my genius)

Giggling, she wraps her arms around his neck, clinging to him as he spins her. When he finally sets her down, they're both breathless and laughing. Pau cups her face, brushing his thumbs gently over her cheeks.

“You know, I’m really proud of you. You didn’t give up, even when it got tough,” he says softly, his gaze filled with admiration. “You’re amazing.”

A blush rises to her cheeks as she smiles up at him. “Thank you, Pau. I couldn’t have done this without you.”

“Of course you could have,” he says, pressing a gentle kiss to her nose. “But I wouldn’t have missed this for the world. Now…” He pulls you closer, wrapping his arms around her tightly. “How about we celebrate?”

y/n snuggled into his embrace, feeling the last remnants of stress melt away. “What kind of celebration did you have in mind?”

“Hmm,” he says, pretending to think, “how about ice cream? The biggest sundae we can find?”

She laughs gently, looking up at him with a grin. “You know the way to my heart.”

He chuckles, leaning down to kiss her softly. “I know, hermosa. And for the record,” he murmurs, brushing his lips across hers, “I love you. Stress and all.”

Her heart fluttered as she reaches up, winding her arms around his neck. “I love you too, my little science assistant.”

He laughs, pulling her in for another kiss, deeper and slower this time. The world feels calm and steady, and in his arms, everything feels perfectly, wonderfully right.

[cher-rei]

love song ♬– chapter 6 [ J.M ]

pairing: jamal musiala x fem!oc

summary [please read]

genre(s): strangers to lovers, football romance, fluff and angst [love song playlist]

[w.c: 3.7k] masterlist

notes: hold your applause! thank you, thank you 🤭 I fear, ya'll aren't ready for this

previous chapter | next chapter

as the sun rose over the quaint town, noelle settled into her cosy corner of the bnb, surrounded by stacks of books and notes for her thesis. the others— florian, aaliyah, sophia and kai had departed earlier that morning for some alone time for a few days, which left her to her studies.

a blessing in disguise. it was time to lock in without any distractions. just her and her laptop, trying time make sense of whatever was on her screen.

the chill in the air was refreshing, and noelle savoured the silence, sipping on some tea (yes tea, and not coffee) as she worked. her focus was interrupted by the occasional chirp of the birds outside, all thoughts of the tournament out the window as she remained focused.

there was about a week before the quarter final match against spain, and as highly anticipated as it was, noelle needed to get her priorities straight. but just as she was hitting her stride, the doorbell rang. her curiosity piqued, perhaps expecting an unexpected delivery.

instead, she found jamal standing on the porch, his hands shoved into his hoodie pockets accompanied by a warm smile. “hey, I hope I'm not interrupting anything,” he said, eyes crinkling at the corners.

her heart skipped a beat, flashes of their last encounter on the pitch at the denmark match replaying almost immediately. she could still feel the warmth of his body radiating so close to hers, his softened gaze looking down at her as they casually conversed.

her heart swelled but she was quick to regain her thoughts and mutter out a quick apology. “uh, no– definitely not,” she stumbled with a faint smile and absentmindedly fixed her hair. “what brings you here?”

jamal's lips tugged up ever so slightly at her flustered state, catching a glimpse of her hands tucking into the sleeves of her sweatshirt. he shrugged, his shoulders flexing underneath his hoodie. “I heard you were stuck here alone today. thought maybe you’d like some company?”

noelle's cheeks flushed— something that happened quite often when jamal was around, but she couldn't hide the smile spread on her face. “stuck here alone” didn't sound so bad when he phrased it that way.

“that's sweet of you,” she said and stepped aside to let him in. “but I'm actually on a deadline. this thesis isn't going to write itself, unfortunately.”

jamal nodded sympathetically, his eyes following her every move, his legs doing the same as she stepped into the kitchen and offered him some hot chocolate. “I know the feeling. coach has been breathing down my neck about strategy for this spain match.”

noelle laughed and put the kettle on. “I'm sure you'll handle it. you're practically a football genius. “

jamal's face scrunched as took off his hoodie, leaning against the counter to watch noelle. “genius is stretching it, but I'll take it.”

their conversation continued while noelle reached up to get two mugs from the cabinet but her fingers barely grazed the handles, which left her to stand on her tiptoes, straining to reach. see, normally this wouldn't be a problem.

because sophia and aaliyah would know to keep the mugs in the lower cabinets, but ever since she's been on her coffee ban they've done everything in their power to make sure that noelle had no way of getting any caffeine.

they went as far as hiding the coffee away from her, offering to make her tea in the evening just to keep her out of the kitchen. and now, she was left to look like an idiot.

jamal noticed her struggle and stepped closer, his chest brushing against her back. her muscles tensed immediately at the feeling of his body so close to hers… again. she couldn't shake the feeling, her knees begging to give in at his body towering over hers.

without saying anything his hands wrapped around hers, their fingers intertwining as he lifted the mugs down.

“thanks,” she muttered, trying to sound nonchalant despite her racing heart. she turned to face him and flashed a tight lipped smile, their body's still centimetres apart.

“you're welcome,” he said and placed the mugs on the counter behind her. “but next time ask for help, no need to strain those delicate muscles.” he teasingly and gave her upper arm a light squeeze.

she narrowed her eyes at him, her hands gripping onto the counter behind her. he was looking down at her so casually, standing this close to her as if it was normal for him. was it? she was well aware of their height difference but having him look down at her with that look in his eyes— her head barely reaching over his shoulder.

it was different.

“so what’s with the mug-hiding?” his question snapped her back to reality. “sophia and aaliyah trying to drive you crazy?” he asked, quirking a brow.

noelle swallowed. hard. “uhm… I'm on a caffeine ban.”

jamal's eyes widened and he took a few steps back to head back to where he was originally standing. when his back was turned, noelle let out the breath she was holding and tried to snap herself out of her thoughts. “that's harsh. what's the crime?”

noelle smiled wryly and continued with making the hot chocolate. “excessive caffeine consumption. they're trying to save me from myself.”

jamal grinned and took the mugs from her with a grateful smile and followed her into the living room to where she was previously sitting on the couch. as they settled in the living room, jamal handed noelle her mug and she covered his lap with the blanket she was previously sitting under.

somehow, their comfortable conversation drifted back to her thesis that jamal was extremely interested in for some reason. he believed that it was a strange topic to write on for a final assignment, because the feeling and overall idea of love was subjective.

the fact that she was focusing solely on romantic love was even more riveting that he couldn't help but ask her questions. and each time that he would, noelle would quirk a brow in silent approval and admiration.

“I've never thought of love as a phenomenon,” he said, his lips slightly pouted.

noelle grinned. “exactly! it's a complex and subjective experience. I'm trying to understand the commonalities and differences.”

jamal leaned in, his voice low and curious. “and what do you have so far?”

noelle's heart skipped a beat at his proximity, something that he never took into account when around her. it was in no way healthy for her to feel this way— she never dealt with with overwhelming foreign emotions.

“well,” she started just above a whisper, her eyes focused solely on his. “love seems to transcend rational explanation. it's often described as an intense emotional connection, a sense of belonging…”

the atmosphere was thick, the silence enveloping them in way that her lungs were constricting just at the sight of him. his eyes were shimmering underneath the warm lighting, the rain pattering against the windows comforting.

when she realised what was happening she hurriedly pulled back, clearing her throat and set her mug on the coffee table. jamal watched as she put some distance between them, something inside his chest aching slightly but he shook it off and leaned back into the cushion.

“okay then, what does love feel like to you?”

the question caught him off guard but a laugh still slipped from his lips. he took a moment to think, his brows furrowing as he concentrated on the question. “I'm not too familiar with the romance scene. my first and last proper girlfriend was sometime in high school.” he turned to look at noelle with a sheepishly smile.

“lasted about a month.” he laughed at the thought and noelle was in shock, something he said before sticking with her.

she pursed her lips, the question burning on her tongue. “proper girlfriend?” she repeated, her voice laced with curiosity.

jamal nodded. “well, you know, someone I actually took on dates, held hands with… the whole works.”

noelle raised her brow, that wasn't the question she asked. “implying that there were improper girlfriends?”

“yeah, I've had my share of spontaneous kisses and something more on a night out and but nothing else. never got that far.” he simply shrugged after that, making it clear to noelle that he wasn't the fling type.

she sat for a moment to let the information sink in, his behaviour and attitude towards relationships making her lick her lips in thought. “you're the date to marry type?”

jamal's eyes crinkled at the corners as he smiled, the thought of marriage barely crossing his mind on any other occasion. “I don't think I'm lucky enough for that,” he stifled a laugh. “I just really value connection.”

noelle nodded slowly, it making sense for the type of person he was. he had a small circle of close friends and valued nothing superficial. private boy with a private life, his focus solely on those dear to him and his career. which was extremely attractive to her, his intentions were always so genuine with everything. it made her heart race.

“but to answer your question I could say that love is like the ultimate penalty shootout. sudden death. you're all in, there's no going back.”

noelle's laughter filled the room, and jamal couldn't help but stare in awe, his lips slightly parted. she went on about how she loved the analogy, perhaps she didn't understand it but it made sense. but jamal understood it. he was there right now. in the middle of that penalty shootout.

metres away from the goalkeeper and the net, the slight breeze in the air gentle and crisp as it hit his flushed face. he could hear his heart pounding, the chants from the supporters deafening but his focus was solely on her and the ball at his feet.

jamal's eyes never left noelle's as she laughed and spoke, her words weaving a spell around him.

“do you want to watch a movie?”

jamal froze for a second, a dazed and confused hum leaving his lips. he didn't hear a thing she said. noelle suppressed her laughter and reached for the remote beside her, waving it in the air. “do you want to watch a movie?”

obviously, he said yes, a bit too eager at first but he didn't care. noelle tossed him the remote with a smile and hopped off the couch to get some snacks, jamal's eyes following her.

“just scream if you can't reach,” he called out and she shot him a glare, causing him to let out a hearty laugh.

when she got back her jaw dropped at the sight of the movie on the screen, the title blaring at her and she immediately shook her head in protest. “no way. this is not happening.”

jamal on the other hand was adorning the biggest smile, opening up the blanket for her to sit. “we are most definitely about to have a scream marathon.”

he gestured to the clock on the wall. “it's not even past lunch yet, it won't be half as scary I promise.”

she blinked at him for a few seconds, the disbelief in her eyes shunned by the desperation and excitement in his as he looked up at her, his hand gently reaching for hers to settle her down beside him. the snacks were set down and he tucked her in with a smile but her eyes were still narrowed.

the opening scene started and noelle was comfortably warmed up with her back against the arm rest, her legs crossed so that they didn't quite reach jamal’s for a multitude of reasons. it was still light out, it at least as light as it could be out in herzogenaurach in the middle of a storm.

every light in the house was off, the curtains were drawn shut, the only source of light illuminating from the tv screen. the movie started off slow, noelle and jamal's commentary easing the atmosphere.

“yes, please carry on talking to the serial kil— oh shit, it's actually her boyfriend! that’s a lot of duct tape— and he's dead. that's just lovely.”

it was about halfway through the movie that her legs began to cramp, a silent curse leaving her lips as she knocked on her thigh to suppress the pain. unfortunately it didn't work because he noticed, his expression laced in confusion.

“are you okay?”

she smiled and threw her head to the back, the pain spiking up all the way to her thigh. “leg cramp,” she admitted and sat up to loosen the tension but jamal was quick to take both her legs and throw them over his lap.

her heart was caught in her throat, eyes wide in shock while his were on the tv, his hands working wonders as the year massaged her calves.

the pain was gone in a matter of seconds, and he looked at her with a smile. “better?”

her eyes widened, still surprised by the sudden intimacy and the concern that she was making hIm uncomfortable. “uh, yeah… thanks.”

noelle's eyes lingered on his hands, still wrapped around her calves, his fingers gently kneading her muscles. the warmth of his touch spread through her legs, soothing the lingering ache. her gaze drifted to his face, his expression relaxed, focused on the movie.

she felt a flutter in her chest, her heart racing with the sudden intimacy. his hands on her legs, his lap cradling her feet, his fingers gently tracing her skin, created a sense of vulnerability she hadn't anticipated.

noelle's cheeks flushed, her mind reeling with the implications. she hadn't expected jamal to be so... comfortable with physical contact. his hands, strong and gentle, seemed to know exactly how to ease her tension.

as she watched him, his eyes never leaving the screen, noelle realised he was genuinely unaware of the effect he had on her. his concern had been genuine, his actions instinctive.

the tension between them dissipated, replaced by a sense of tranquillity.

"comfortable now?" jamal asked, his voice low, without looking at her.

noelle nodded, her voice barely audible. "yeah..."

he smiled, his eyes still on the movie. "good."

the silence between them was no longer awkward, but companionable. noelle's gaze drifted to the tv, but her awareness remained focused on jamal's hands, still gently holding her legs.

as the movie continued, noelle's thoughts wandered. she couldn't remember the last time someone had touched her with such care. jamal's gentle massage had awakened a deep sense of longing within her.

the storm outside seemed to fade into the background, replaced by the warmth of his touch. noelle felt herself melting into the moment, her guard dropping.

after the first movie, which was surprisingly enjoyable, the second was immediately put on without any disturbance or protest. teasing comments were thrown at noelle about her liking towards the movie and her reluctance at first.

she threw her hands up into the air in defence. “whatever, say what you want but sidney is a badass. I'm just here for her.”

jamal titled his head to the side challengingly, his touch lingering on her bare skin. “oh, so I just happened to be here?”

noelle's eyes sparkled with amusement. “well, you're just the mandatory companion.”

he chuckled, loving the banter. “so that's all I am to you? mandatory?” his eyes sparkled with amusement, his hand creeping achingly higher when noelle nodded, her smile etched into his mind.

his hands drifted up her calves, sending a shiver up her spine. “mandatory? I think I can upgrade my status then.”

her smile faltered, her eyes locking on to his. the air thickened with tension, their banter taking on a flirtatious edge that always caught her off guard. “upgrade?” her voice was barely above a whisper, her attention and every nerve in her body focused on his fingers trailing on her thigh.

“to essential… vital even,” he prompted with a smirk, the knot that noelle was in on the verge unravelling.

the word hung in their air, heavy with implication. her heart raced, her mind reeling with sudden aching for the situation. their thoughts swirled with desire, and something more. noelle felt vulnerable, exposed, yet drawn to him like a magnet.

jamal’s touch seemed to burn her skin, leaving trails of sparks whenever he touched. his eyes sparking with amusement now held a deeper meaning.

as the movie's suspense built, their anticipation and unspoken words grew, but not for the plot twists. but for the moment that jamal's hand might brush higher, the moment their lips might meet. noelle's breath caught, her chest rising and falling with each ragged inhale.

then his eyes dropped to her lips— pink and plush and driving him insane. so why couldn't he take the shot? lessen the space?

suddenly, the moment was interrupted but the sound of noelle's phone ringing making her jump up in shock. it was faced down, and almost perfectly, the phone on the movie began to ring, sidney picking it up immediately with the infamous “what's your favourite scary movie?” sounding through the living room.

jamal burst into a fit of laughter and threw his head back at the coincidence, the warmth of his hands leaving noelle's upper thigh as it was now covering his face. her heart was pounding once again, her cheeks flushed but she got the phone and angrily answered only to hear sophia's voice on the other end.

“why are you breathing so hard? wait– who's laughing in the background?”

noelle’s face burned with embarrassment as she tried to compose herself. “I'm just watching a movie…”

sophia’s tone turned suspicious. “what movie?”

noelle glanced are jamal, still chuckling, his eyes shining with amusement. “scream.”

sophia's voice dropped to a whisper, noelle picturing her reaction perfectly. “with jamal?”

she hesitated, unsure if she wanted to out herself at a time like this, especially after what had just happened. she drew a hum, “yeah, he just dropped by to keep me company.”

that wasn't a lie.

“and that's why you're breathing like you've just run a marathon? noelle braun what the fuck!”

noelle was quick to try and interject but sophia was calling out to aaliyah at whatever place they were, the excitement, shock and desperation evident in her voice. jamal's laughter subsided but he held her gaze and mouthed “busted” at noelle, making her eyes roll.

the second she heard aaliyah yell her name she dropped the call. this was not happening today, she didn't have the mental capacity for the shit she was going to get.

their marathon continued shortly after, but this time with less conversation. it was after 6 in the evening and they'd just gotten their pizza and settled back into the living room, their silent glances and brushing knees adding to the ache in their stomachs.

the dim lighting of the living room amplified the tension between them. noelle's eyes fixed on the screen, but her awareness was consumed by jamal's presence.

his arm, slung casually over the couch, seemed to invite her closer. his fingers tapped a slow rhythm on the cushion, sending shivers down her spine.

her breaths came in short gasps, her chest rising and falling with each nervous inhale. she felt jamal's gaze on her, his eyes burning with an unspoken intensity.

as they watched, their knees touched, sending sparks through her entire body. her pulse quickened, her heart pounding in her ears.

the movie's suspense built, but noelle's anxiety stemmed from the proximity to him. every shift in his position made her hyper-aware of his body. his hand drifted closer, his fingers brushing against her shoulder. noelle's skin tingled.

she fought the urge to lean into his touch, her body screaming for contact. the ache in her core grew, a throbbing reminder of her desire. jamal's tapping slowed, his fingers hovering above her skin. noelle's voice trailed off, her eyes locked on jamal's. the air thickened, heavy with anticipation.

his gaze never wavered, his fingers inching closer to her skin. “you okay?"

noelle nodded, her pulse racing. "yeah..."

the movie continued, but they didn't notice. their focus was on each other.

jamal's hand drifted down, his fingers tracing the curve of her shoulder. their knees touched again, this time intentionally. jamal's leg pressed against hers, sending shivers through her entire body.

the moment balanced on a knife's edge, ready to tip into something more.

fuck it.

sucking up her pride and inevitable fear, noelle turned her head to the side to look at jamal, but he beat her to it. her eyes widened in surprise as jamal's lips claimed hers, the sudden contact sending a jolt of electricity through her entire body. she pulled away, her instincts momentarily taking over, but regret flooded her the instant their lips parted.

jamal's eyes, dark and intense, locked onto hers, his face inches from hers. noelle's heart pounded, her pulse racing with anticipation. without a thought, she leaned back in, her lips brushing against his. this time, she was ready.

their lips met in a tender, exploratory kiss, the tension between them igniting. noelle's hands drifted up, her fingers tracing the contours of Jamal's face.

jamal's arms wrapped around her, pulling her closer. the kiss deepened, their lips moving in perfect sync. noelle's legs shifted, her body gravitating toward his. she straddled his lap, their faces inches apart.

their lips parted, and namal's eyes blazed with desire. "noelle..."

her name was a whispered prayer, a plea for more. she couldn't believe was she was doing, never in a million years would she have thought that she's be taking the lead in a situation like this.

the world around them melted away, leaving only the thrumming tension between them. their tongues danced, the kiss growing more intense. noelle's body pressed against namal's, her breasts crushed against his chest.

jamal's hands roamed her back, his fingers tracing the curve of her spine. noelle's skin tingled, her senses on fire.

their lips parted, gasping for air. jamal's forehead rested against hers, their ragged breaths mingling.

"noelle..." he whispered again, his voice husky.

she smiled, her eyes locked on his. "yeah?"

his lips curved, still out of breath. "I am in no way normal about you."

she pulled away and covered her face with her hands, her cheeks flushing with embarrassment . “oh God, what just happened?”

jamal was breathless, unable to believe she was straddling his lap, his hands gripping at her waist. “I think you just ravished me.”

“shut up,” she said and jokingly slapped his chest. “you're not exactly helping me regret this less.”

his eyes crinkled in disbelief, a heavy scoff leaving his lips. “regret it? I'm framing this moment.” he titled his head to get a better look at her— hair undone, cheeks flushed, her shorts riding up, and her t-shirt sitting on her frame in the same way one of his would.

he wanted to frame her.

he continued to rub circles on her bare skin, his fingers relishing in the feeling of her body heat while she continued to ramble about how she messed up, spewing out apology after apology until jamal's lips met hers again, this time for a shorter tender kiss.

he pulled away with a smile and looked into her eyes, glossy and innocent. “I could get used to that.”

noelle playfully pushed him away, the heat returning to her cheeks and creeping up her neck. “for a guy who just got attacked— pounced on, you're pretty smug.”

he chuckled. “I loved the enthusiasm and the look in your eyes.”

a hum left noelle’s lips as she regained her confidence and became more comfortable with the situation. she lazily wrapped her arms around his shoulders, caressing the nape of his neck as they talked— the movie long forgotten.

“no seriously,” jamal said with a chuckle. “I've never seen anyone go from zero to sixty like that before.”

noelle buried her face in the crook of his neck in embarrassment, the replay of the scene in her mind making her excited. “I'm a fast learner I guess?”

her breath tickled his neck, another jolt of excitement. “I think you're a natural.”

she pulled away with a cute smile, and nodded. then she got the remote and spoke into it like a mic, the gimmick making jamal laugh. “how do you feel about having just taken my movie night virginity?”

jamal's laughter filled the room, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "oh, I feel utterly responsible," he said, playing along, his voice dripping with mock seriousness.

noelle's grin was mischievous, her voice husky as she continued her mock interview. "and what do you plan to do with this newfound power?”

his chuckle was low and seductive. "well, I think I'll just have to make sure you never watch movies with anyone else."

her eyes sparkled, her lips curling into a sly smile. "exclusive movie rights, huh?"

jamal nodded, his eyes locked on hers. "absolutely. I'll make sure to keep you entertained."

"I think that can be arranged."

as they continued their playful banter, jamal's fingers traced the curve of her spine, sending shivers down her back.

noelle's mock interview was forgotten, she leaned in, her lips brushing against his. "you're really good at this," she whispered.

his smile was soft, his eyes shining with affection. "good at what?"

her voice was barely audible. "making me feel... comfortable."

jamal's arms wrapped tighter around her, holding her close. "I could say the same about you."

their lips met again, the kiss tender and intimate, the connection between them palpable. as they broke apart, noelle's eyes sparkled. "we're keeping this on the down low right?"

“obviously!” he answered in shock. “have you met our friends?”

[the-badger-mole]

I've seen people criticize Zuko for not taking the opportunity to kill Ozai during the eclipse but expecting Aang, a 12 y.o. pacific monk to do that instead. He was called hypocritical for being unsympathetic towards his unwillingness to take a life when he himself couldn't. I do like Zuko and tend to side with him ( post redemption ofc ) over Aang, but that seems like a valid take, I don't think I have a counter-argument to that.What is your opinion on It ? Also, what do you think was the in-universe reason for Zuko to make such a decision? He said that It's not his destiny, do you think there was any other reason for It? Is he not wrong for not doing It just bc of destiny since It's just an abstract concept and the stakes were really high ( plus It's against the show's message about shaping your own destiny) ?

Maybe I'm reading this wrong, but it sounds like the people criticizing Zuko for not killing Ozai when he had the chance wanted Aang to do it? That doesn't sound like a contradiction, so I'm not sure if that's how you meant it?

Aside from that, I can only speak for myself. I understand why Zuko didn't kill Ozai. I also understand why Aang didn't want to. What my problem with the resolution for that was that it was the first time Aang seems to have even thought about what ending the war would entail. It doesn't make him look noble, or idealistic. It just makes him look stupid. What do you mean? What do you mean that he took this entire journey to get him to master all the elements on a deadline so he can end the war, and he had no idea what ending the war would even look like? He didn't even consider it? It had to be told to him. He really goofed off this entire series and didn't think about his project until the night before it was due. And don't anyone try to use his age to excuse this to me. First of all, Aang isn't a 12 year old. He's a fictional character who was created by writers. Writers who were telling a story. THEY are the ones who didn't consider how Aang would end the war. Second, within the story, Aang's age is never used as an excuse for why he did this. In fact, not only is an excuse not given, it's treated like a virtue on his end and not a lack of forethought on his part. He's rewarded for it.

Listen, I hate the Lionturtle/Rock of Destiny double deus ex machina, and I have made no secret of it. It was a cop out. It cheapened the finale. It made everything Aang was supposed to learn irrelevant, because no, he didn't have to make sacrifices and hard choices for his victory. He won because he was supposed to win (and how's that for shaping your own destiny?). Here's the thing, though. The Lionturtle, at least, could have worked. If Aang had to come up with the solution himself, go find the Lionturtle and ask for help (and maybe have to perform some challenge to earn it), then it would've been a satisfying ending while still not making Aang himself have to shed blood (nevermind that keeping his hands clean was a privilege most of the heroes in this story couldn't have).

I didn't necessarily want Aang to kill Ozai, and definitely didn't want him to kill Ozai just because it would look cool (although...). I would have been fine with a no-kill ending, if it had been set up right. I just think having Aang kill Ozai given the set up of the rest of the story would've been more satisfying than the cop-out ex machina double team. Or someone else could've faced Ozai, because he was never the main villain of the series. Azula was. And that fight was both satisfying and didn't end with her death, either (because it's a kids' show). It wouldn't even have to change. Aang was not the real hero of this story. Katara was the hero of the first half, and Zuko was the hero of the second. Aang was just the McGuffin. He could've sat this one out and been the one to make the "Real Hero" speech instead of Zuko. That would have been a good ending.

[nakylvr]

what do we think about needy sub!manon, because HEAR ME OUT, her being so needy and turned on, sending you pics and audios of her fingering herself thinking about you and moaning your name, sending dirty messages while you're at work, just because SHE KNOWS THEY TURN YOU ON and that will lead to her getting filled with your strap when you get home 🤭

god i love sub!manon so bad 😵‍💫

— SAY SO 👑

warnings/tags: language, nsfw content, sub!manon, dom!reader, slight mommy kink, strap on, masterbation, sending vids, praise

you had been at work since the early morning, trying to get everything done before your deadline you had for the end of the day. which meant you hardly saw manon this morning before you left. scribbling a quick note on her nightstand and heading out. it was now nearing the end of the day, and you were still at work, much to manon's dismay.

manon had been needy the whole day. texting you every other hour asking the same question of when you were going to be back, which usually took you another hour or two to respond. it had been over an hour since you last texted her back, when she came up with the perfect idea to get you to respond and come back home.

she changed into the lingerie set you got her a few weeks ago before grabbing her phone and laying down on the bed. opening the camera app, she holds the phone up to take a picture of her in the outfit. she sends the picture to you and waits to see if you respond.

your phone dings with a notification and you glance away from your screen for a split second to see that it's from manon and just reads "1 attached image" making you raise an eyebrow. picking up the phone, you open the message and your eyes subtly widen at the image.

baby, i'm at work. you text back.

she figured that'd be your response, which is why she was already pointing the camera down, recording, as she slips a finger into her wet heat. whimpering as she starts fingering herself, her eyes close and she moans your name when she slides a second finger in. "fuck...pl-please come home...i need you s-so bad, please mommy, 'm so wet for you," her moans get more desperate and whiny the more she talks, knowing how much it turns you on whenever she sends you videos of her touching herself. she stops the recording to send the video to you, not stopping her fingers as she lets out whiny moans.

your phone dings again, and you open the message to see a video attached. you glance around before playing the video and listening to it, your jaw almost dropping. you quickly press the call button on her name, which manon answers instantly, and you immediately hear her moaning on the other end. "you just couldn't wait, could you?" you whisper into the phone, collecting your things and getting up and leaving.

"no," manon whines on the other end of the phone. "you've been a-at work all day..."

"i'm leaving now," you tell her as you walk up to your car. "and you better have not came by the time i get there, understand?"

"okay"

you break multiple speeding laws trying to cut through traffic on the way back to the apartment. you fiddle with the key in the lock for a moment before getting the door open, tossing your bag on the table and letting the door close behind you. as soon as the door closes you hear noises coming from the bedroom, and you quickly walk over, opening the door. you're met with the sight of your girlfriend on the bed, legs spread and three fingers deep in her pussy, moaning out your name.

you walk up to the bed, crawling onto it which makes manon open her eyes and see you, gasping your name as she nears the verge of cumming. you tsk, shaking your head as you look down at her. "look at my poor baby, all worked up and needy," you fake pout as you speak. "you didn't cum, did you?"

manon quickly shakes her head. "n-no, i-i didn't," she replies past whimpers. "i-i swear."

you hum, nodding your head as you bring your hand down to pull her fingers out of her, smiling at the whine she lets out at the feeling disappearing. "don't worry princess, i'll make you feel good." you get on your knees and unbutton your pants, pulling them off to free the strap on you were already wearing. "c'mere, if you be a good girl and suck my cock i'll let you cum."

manon whimpers at your words, watching you undo your pants and reveal the faux cock underneath. she sits up a little, shuffling closer to you as she rests her hands on your thighs, looking up at you with her big brown eyes. you tap her cheek gently with your hand, grabbing the back of her head and nudging her closer. her lips part as she slowly takes you in her mouth, swirling her tongue around to get it as wet as possible, still staring up at you while taking all of it fully.

"there ya go, my good girl," you coo, pushing her hair out of her face. you thrust your hips, making her gag lightly and grip your thighs harder. you do it again just to hear that noise between a moan and a gag come from her as tears brink in her eyes, but she takes it. you do it one more time before pulling her off, a string of saliva connecting between while she takes deep breaths. "lay down for me, princess," you say, stroking her cheek softly with your hand.

she does as you tell her to, lying down on the bed as you situate yourself between her legs. you rub the tip of the strap up and down her slit before slipping all the way in, causing her to gasp in surprise as you give her no time to adjust before starting a fast pace. "f-fuck! oh my god- yn," manon whines your name, her arm reaching to grab your hand on her waist for some kind of leverage from the way you were pounding into her. "'ts too much!"

you slap her hand away when she grabs for you, grabbing both hands and pinning them on each side of her head, staring down at her watching the way she reacts. "this is what you wanted, isn't it? you were the one so fucking needy that you had to send me videos of you touching yourself while i was at work. you're gonna take it,"

all manon can do is moan and whine helplessly as you push the strap so deep that her eyes roll back, her mouth agape with loud, desperate noises coming from her. your tight grip on her wrists has her unable to move her hands which causes her to whine at not being able to touch you. she can hear your words and shakes her head, trying her best to respond. "i-i jus' wan-wanted-" she's cut off by a gasp when she feels the tip of the strap hit her g-spot, moaning loudly when you realize and keep hitting it. "fuck mo-mommy, please let me t-touch you, please," she begs shamelessly, not caring how she must sound right now.

you give in to her begging easily, letting go of her wrists that were now stinging lightly. immediately she wraps her arms around your neck, pulling you down closer to her as she kisses you deeply. moaning into the kiss, her nails drag down your back and scratching your skin. parting from the kiss, manon stares up at you with her brown eyes welling with tears, desperately moaning at the feeling of you filling her up so good.

"look at you," you smile down at her. "you look so pretty like this, my pretty girl. always so good for me," you coo, hissing quietly at her nails dragging down your back. "you close, sweetheart?"

manon nods feverishly, whimpering at your praising words that make her feel even closer to orgasming. "pl-please 'm so close, please let me cum!" her begging comes out more whiny as she nears the edge. her legs wrap around your hips, pulling you impossibly closer to her as she puts her face in the crook of your neck, whimpering into your skin.

you feel droplets of her tears hitting your skin, and you decide to give in, knowing how needy she had been all day waiting for you. "go ahead, sweetheart. you've been so good for me," you tell her, snapping your hips harder to get her to cum.

manon whines loudly into your neck, her body shaking as she finally climaxes after all day of not getting anything, a few tears falling from her eyes. she pants heavily against your skin as you slow down to a stop, pulling out of her slowly. a quiet whimper comes from her at the feeling, her eyes closing with tears resting on her lashes. she reaches out for you as you quickly take off the harness, grasping your arm and pulling you down to lay next to her.

"you okay?" you ask her softly.

"mhm," she hums, nodding her head as she curls into your side, resting her head on your chest. "i love you," she mumbles quietly.

"i love you too," you smile, pressing a short kiss on her head.

[unu-nunu-art]

HUGE NEWS!!

My Secret Shop is officially open!!

Here's the catalogue!

This is my very first online shop, so I hope everything works as intended >u<

Are you interested? :D

The info post can be found here!!

++++++++++

Also!! Yearly Postcard Send-Out is back!!

Even if you are not interested in the shop, you can still receive a postcard as it is tradition at this point. It's always so much fun to prep all these for everyone ^u^

2024 is coming to a close and to celebrate, I will send out a Christmas/New Year's card to every Patron just like the years before! Would you like to receive one, too?

Here's how it works:

1. Become/Be a Patron! The amount you pledge doesn’t matter, so even every 1$ Patron will receive a card! Deadline is December 7th so the cards will have roughly two weeks to arrive, even if you're late to pledge. Moreover, Patrons of the 10$ tier and up will also receive a sticker of their choice!

2. Check this post and fill out the form. Yes, the cards from the previous year are also possible if you prefer, just like the stickers of the past year!

3.  Wait for your card. That's all. Easy, right? I will send them out as soon as I can ♥

4. Any open questions? Just comment and let me know!

Link to my Patreon

Lastly, I want to thank every single one of you for you support and faith in me. I never would have come this far and made so much progress without you. Thank you for this wonderful year everyone ♥

[gabriel-posts-here]

my head is spinning I HATE NEUROTYPICAL EXPECTATIONS SO MUCH

[in-the-airducts]

A little late but happy holidays!

[majouartings]

PLAYABLE ZELDA PLAYABLE ZELDA PLAYABLE ZELDA PLAYABLE ZELDA PLAYABLE ZELDA PLAYABLE ZELDA PLAYABLE ZELDA *inhale* PLAYABLE ZELDA PLAYABLE Z

[conspicuous-clown-car]

ougghhh next month is gonna be BUSY

finish playing all fnaf games (SL-HW2) on twitch, make (as in like literally sewing) an outfit for a concert, ARTFIGHT which will probably take up most my time, putting together/making several cosplays for a con (one im not excited to cosplay as but im doing it for my partner), plus some other stuff i definitely forgot, all on top of working. wwouughbh

[sonknuxadow]

overall i think movie sonic being redesigned was a good decision but sometimes i wish they had never done it with how annoying people are about it with the constant spread of misinformation about how/why it happened + this attitude people have gotten from it thinking they can get anything they don't like in a movie or show or game changed if they complain on twitter enough regardless of what exactly they're wanting changed or how close the release date is or what company is making it or whatever

[digitaldiseas3]

extremely frustrating situation

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[swordsmans]

CON CRUNCH IS REAL I THINK IM GONNA JUST START HOT GLUING SHIT TOGETHER TONIGHT FUCK IT WE BALL!!!!!!!

[exopelagic]

okay I’m going insane I need to fix my sleep schedule now

[electryone-moon]

~IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE PERFECT~

Of course you’re going to give up if your brain insists on turning every small task into a huge simultaneous equation

To be as clichéd as possible; Just fucking do the thing