#and that effected everyone’s personal style in the ensuing years

[kissingwookiees]

fit that miss finn tabris would be rocking in the modern au in my mind

[definitely-not-suki]

Thoughts from a long time fan after finishing Dragon Age The Veilguard

Heavy spoilers btw.

Hey everyone! I’ve just finished my first playthrough of Veilguard and I thought I’d share my feelings on it! 

Some context before I give my thoughts. I’ve been a fan of the Dragon Age series as a whole since 2010 when I first picked up Dragon Age: Origins. I had played few RPGs up until that point, a handful of Final Fantasy games and some other JRPGs on the various Nintendo systems I had owned growing up. So imagine high school me picking up a game that was genuinely tough and confusing! I felt lost a number of times but I was so invested in the story and by the end when I finally beat the archdemon for the first time with an incredibly sub optimal build, I was ready to hop right back in. 

Since then I’ve played all the games numerous times throughout the ensuing years. For over a decade I have always found myself drawn back to this series in one way or another. I’ve spent countless hours in the world of Thedas and have had many frustrations and many triumphs. I was there for all the discourse that you could imagine and I’ve probably experienced every bug, frustrating mechanic, and unexpected story beat you can imagine. Despite it all I truly love the setting and the stories I’ve been able to experience. I just…love Dragon Age. 

So when Veilguard came around I cared very little about the noise around it. Nothing would dissuade me or excite me more than my own desires to hop back into the world of Thedas. It’s been a long wait since Inquisition and even just hearing the name Dragon Age again meant that it was always destined that I would be playing the game. Know that I am coming from a place of bias, but hopefully in good faith. I also hope that my knowledge of the series will help contextualize some of the things I’ve experienced in Veulguard. I don’t claim to be a lore expert or anything but damn if I don’t know my history. 

There are two things I want to get out of the way right now regarding some common discourse I’ve seen around the game. The first is complaints about wokeness. I don’t believe people are acting in good faith with these arguments. Dragon Age Origins is arguably more woke than this game. You’ve got characters who are blatantly bisexual, you run into people with different gender expressions, there is class warfare and disparity displayed as early as Orzammar origins, and racial tension as early as the City Elf origin. I just can’t take this as a serious critique of the game. 

The second common critique I see is that the series is sanitized or cleaner than earlier installments. I think maybe visually and in some dialogue this could be true but the world of Thedas is as dark as ever. Anyone who has played through Neve’s personal questline could tell you that there are innocents being held in cages, their shackles wound from the very blood in their veins. The blight is just as grotesque as ever. People are reduced to mindless husks just the same as they were in Origins. The effects of the blight on the land where it appears is somehow rendered even more uncomfortably in this modern style. As for the darkspawn’s more cartoonish appearance? Well, I think I’ll cover that more closely in their section. 

With that out of the way, let’s get into my thoughts about Dragon Age: The Veilguard. 

Themes in the Veilguard: 

I think there are two major themes at play in Veilguard. The first is History, specifically how strongly should we hold onto our past? There is a tension amongst groups like the Veil Jumpers and the Grey Wardens that rings loudly when interacting with these factions as well as our companions that claim them. Nothing screams this more loudly however than our dealings with the Evanuris. Their mere presence is enough to cause a crisis of faith within the Dalish who worship them, as well as twist and bend everything that we know about the world both in and out of universe. Elgar’nan is twisted by his vision of the world that he created. He is not the benevolent shepherd that the Dalish may have once believed him. He escapes from the prison that he was held in and upon looking at the world he forged, he is filled with disgust. He wants to return the status quo as he knows it, and cares little about the strides that his children have made in his absence. 

The main conflict around Solas also boils down to his vision of what the world was. He is too busy remembering the glory days to appreciate the way the world is now. He clings to a past that would devastate the current world were it to be brought back. The fact that he is so rigid, so desperate to return things to the way that they are, is the reason he’s our main antagonistic force in the narrative! 

But it continues in other ways as well! Harding grapples with the revelations of the Titans and what that means for the Dwarven people. Bellara’s main conflict is whether to uphold the past or completely erase it in favor of new traditions. Neve is challenging the status quo alongside the Shadow Dragons in Minrathous. Davrin grapples with a villain that has literally come from the past to threaten his order’s future. Emmerich is plagued by an old colleague. Taash is constrained by a history they are told and a future they can create. We see it crop up time and time again through our companions and our villains and we’re able to grapple with it in a number of interesting ways and it’s often at the core of our choices we make as a player. 

A second overarching theme I’ve noticed throughout my playthrough was that of grief. This is perhaps most obvious in Solas who could just as easily be called the Elven God of Regrets. I think the game shows that grief isn’t always just about death (though there is plenty of that as well in the game). There can be grief over the world changing, people you know who have left your life, or how those same people come back into your life as someone unrecognizable. There is even grief in trying to find your place in the world which I think is beautifully touched upon in Taash’s story. 

Rook and their companions lose a lot in their battle against the Evanuris, and surprisingly the antagonists go through the ringer as well. This war causes a lot of pain to both sides which I think is a fascinating choice by the writers. Ghilan’nain literally wallows in pain after killing her Archdemon. It is a blow that she never truly recovers from. Elgar’nan in turn wants to eradicate Rook even more after dealing a killing blow to his companion. As twisted as their minds are, it’s hard to ignore that we could be driven to such extremes given the right circumstances. In fact I think the only reason our protagonists are different is because they have each other. When Bellara loses her brother, Rook and Neve are there to provide support. When Taash loses their mother, Rook is there to pick up their Qunari friend and let them know that they aren’t alone, and we are even able to remind Neve that after everything she has lost she still has family in the Veilguard. Your companions even save you from the brink when you realize that you’ve lost Varric. I don’t think it’s ridiculous to think that any of these things could have turned us and our companions into the very villains we are fighting against. 

These were the two themes that I found weaved inextricably throughout the narrative and it really stood out amongst everything that was going on. Dragon Age lore has often been under the shadow of a history that we weren’t privy to in universe and it was a real joy to see how these answers finally came to life in Veilguard, theories that were made as early as 2009. I’m glad that it came in such a thematically satisfying and consistent package. 

The Factions: 

The Grey Wardens - 

Ah…our lovely old friends. The Grey Wardens have been at the heart of the series since its inception, and they have come a long way as a faction. I think it was lovely to see their evolution throughout the years. We have seen them through the highs of saving Ferelden from the blight as well as the lows of having their reputation dragged through the mud thanks to the machinations of Corypheus. Nevertheless I think the Grey Wardens we see in the Veilguard helps reconstruct the faction as the more heroic figures that they are said to be in lore. Evka and Antoine go a long way in humanizing the Wardens. We see that the group is not just full of criminals and scum but also just normal people who have been caught up in something bigger than themselves. We also see the other side of the Spectrum in the First Warden as well as the story of Isseya. She is a reminder that the Wardens have committed great atrocities in the name of protecting the greater good, and these things have a devastating impact on the people who make those choices. All in all I like that the first real faction we’ve ever had in the series is given its proper place within the world of Thedas at large. No matter what the problem is, the Grey Wardens always seem to rise to face it even if they stumble along the way. 

The Veil Jumpers - 

One of our new factions. I like them, especially as an extension of the Dalish as we know them from the earlier installments. I know that they aren't Dalish fully but I think that’s the point. A large theme in Veilguard is establishing new traditions and values in the face of a world that’s constantly demanding change. The Dalish that are a part of the Veil Jumpers are joining the world in a way that we haven’t seen from the Nomadic people before. The discoveries that they make could very well upheave everything they know about their people and culture yet they do it anyway with bravery in spades. I think it also helps that Arlathan forest is one of the more beautiful areas to explore in the game. As far as content goes they are probably on the thinner end of the spectrum but I can live with it. They are the introductory faction. They give us context for what sorts of things are going on presently before we return to Thedas as a whole. They give a wonderful jumping off point into the game at large and their faction representative in Strife is quite memorable for a side character. 

The Shadow Dragons - 

A not so new faction but the first we’ve seen outside of supplementary material. My experiences with them may differ from others as I chose to save Treviso over Minrathous so bear with me as I go through my analysis of them. From what I saw of them in my playthrough I think they make an incredibly good showing! Before the sacking of Minrathous I saw a group of Freedom Fighters who were up against odds that seem impossible. There is something admirable about fighting a battle that should by all means be unwinnable. Maybe it was because Rook and their little band of misfits were facing such things on an even larger scale that I felt a certain kinship with the Dragons. I also found it quite charming exploring their secret base and speaking with some of the more colorful characters in the faction like the Viper. However I think they truly began to shine after Minrathous was destroyed. I saw the faction be reduced to a mere shadow (haha) of itself and yet the crazy thing was that they persisted. The Viper was blighted for crying out loud! Despite this he still fought with his last breath to save the city he loved! When push comes to shove the Shadow Dragons never gave up, even reduced as they were, and it truly made me wonder how scary they would be at full force. It made me feel as if something of great value was lost when Minrathous fell to the Venatori, and made their resilience in the face of loss all the more impressive. 

The Antivan Crows - 

Another returning faction. Obviously the last time they were this involved in the main story was Origins via Zevran. I think it is interesting to see how they have evolved in modern Thedas. They still maintain their shadowy and suave aesthetic which I think is amplified here with advancements in visuals from 2009.  As we know, our old elf friend paints a pretty gruesome picture of what life is like under Crow training. We also know that they are consummate professionals and aren’t necessarily malicious when it comes to their contracts. They are painted in a much more heroic light come the time of Veilguard and I think this is for the better. It gives me an “honor amongst thieves” sort of vibe with lots of politicking and backstabbing even amongst members of its own order. I like that they take great pride in cleaning up their own house and I get the sense that Rook is merely the vessel through which we see how the faction operates. I also have no problems with this interpretation of the Crows. Once again, this game is largely concerned with changing and letting go of the past. I think if the Crows were a bunch of villains who so rigidly stuck to their old ways then I would have probably been wondering what the hell they’ve been doing since the fifth Blight. Viago and Teia are also wonderful faction representatives. They each represent the serious operator and the suave playful killer (respectively). I think as far as faction representatives are concerned they play off of each other very well, with some humorous back and forth that made it fun every time I met with them. Thanks for flirting with me, Teia, I needed a win. 

The Lords of Fortune - 

Ah….

As far as critiques with the Veilguard are concerned I think the ones levied at the Lords of Fortune are perhaps the most valid. Their content is perhaps the barest of all factions and I really hate to say it but it makes sense. They are basically a bunch of pirates just hanging out and getting drunk and finding treasure. This doesn’t necessarily lend itself to particularly interesting storylines. Despite it making sense in my mind lorewise, I am a bit disappointed since it means we have a mechanically and narratively uninteresting faction. We have an arena and a tangential connection to them through slaying dragons. We mostly see them through the eyes of Taash and I honestly think if we didn’t have an area for them, we’d still get the same amount of content via Taash’s personal quests. It’s nice to see Isabela return as the faction representative but like the rest of the Lords she is lacking depth. They are even beaten in the charming swashbuckling aesthetic by the Antivan Crows so I just keep returning to the same conclusion that I think a lot of people have regarding them: They’re unnecessary and underdeveloped. In a game that really produced some interesting new lore, it feels like a ball was dropped here. Ah well. 

The Mourn Watch - 

My Rook’s faction, and what an interesting faction it was. Aesthetically they are all very interesting with their dark gothic colors and their jade armor and their smiling skull masks. It’s also great lorewise as we finally get a deeper look into Nevarra and their customs. This was an incredibly pleasant surprise as a longtime fan and frankly it’s the most impressive amongst the newer factions to me. Admittedly their faction representatives are somewhat forgettable. Vorgoth is only interesting in that he’s a cloud of darkness in a robe (What’s going on there?) and Myrna is…well she’s there. I had some cute scenes with Rook acting like a student who saw their principal outside of school when the two of them came to visit Emmerich but otherwise they don’t significantly impact the plot like some of the other faction representatives. The Necropolis is bar none one of the most fascinating areas to explore in the game. It’s just so…weird. Honestly everything about the Mourn Watchers is weird (in a good way). I think they really nailed the very strange morality of the Mortalitasi because almost every time someone from the Mourn Watch opened their mouth (My Rook included a lot of the time) I couldn’t tell whether I should laugh or be horrified. Frankly I think that’s what they were going for. The strange symbiosis between the living and the dead works surprisingly well and confirms things that could only be theorized about from earlier games. We get to see a different side of the Fade through the Mourn Watch, a side that is curious and reacts to positivity with positivity of its own. This has pretty strong implications on how we should view the Fade in the context of the greater narrative. Makes you wonder if incidents like the Mage Tower could have been avoided as well as reinforces some of the things we learned from Solas in Inquisition. 

I'll probably make a part 2 sometime later after I write the next part but I wanted to shout into the void so thanks for indulging the long post. If you've read this far thanks for caring about some random person's opinions!

[sergeant-spoons]

51. April Showers Bring May Flours

Leslie Sheppard

Taglist: @thoughpoppiesblow​​​​​​​​ @chaosklutz​​​​​​​​ @wexhappyxfew​​​​​​​​ @50svibes​​​​​​​​ @tvserie-s-world​​​​​​​​ @adamantiumdragonfly​​​​​​​​ @ask-you-what-sir​​​​​​​​ @whovian45810​​​​​​​​​ @brokennerdalert​​​​​​​​ @holdingforgeneralhugs​​​​​​​​ @claire-bear-1218​​​​​​​​ @heirsoflilith​​​​​​​​​ @itswormtrain​​​​​​​​​ @actualtrashpanda​​​​​​​​​ @wtrpxrks​​​​​​​​​

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nothing of much excitement had come to pass since Leslie and her friends bade farewell to London and returned to the Airborne. They reminisced about their trip often; where the boys missed restaurant food, the girls missed comfortable beds, and everyone missed having a break from their training. George sang the concert's entire repertoire on the daily. Don found it a bit hard to fall asleep without Leslie beside him for the first few days. Tink prayed less but attended mass more often. Still, these were all small effects, and relatively private and personal.

Then mid-April came to pass and brought an unexpectedly welcome visitor to the town.

It was two days after Easter Sunday when Captain Eades' niece and grandniece came to visit her in Aldbourne. The niece, Pearl, was married to a Scotsman who'd been on furlough the past week. She and her daughter had gone down to Plymouth to visit him, and now they were heading back northeast to Perth. Mama E had arranged to have them stay for two weeks with Mrs. Witchetty, who was more than happy to take on the small family for a short time—it had been a long time since she'd heard young laughter pealing through the house.

As soon as little Beth arrived, she became the darling of the household. Everyone down to the cats adored her, and she delighted in being doted on so dearly. Beth was only four years old, but she had already acquired the motor skills to run about like she was constantly in a race against herself. Her energy was only matched by Meatball, who seemed to have come alive ever since meeting Beth. They ran throughout the house as they played, and from his behavior, one might have inferred that Meatball was a small dog (and not a cat) if they didn't look closely enough. Socket, on the other hand, slept more, and if Beth was by some miracle sitting still, Socket could be found dozing at her side or with her warm, furry body tucked around Beth's back.

When she met Tink, Beth thought she was her de facto sister because they shared the same pale blonde hair. Tink didn't bat an eye and immediately went along with the imagination, and when she was home, Beth followed her reverently. Adorable hijinks ensued more often than not, and Tink always took the blame, pretending not to hear Beth giggling into her hair as Tink carried her around piggyback-style. The little girl liked Tink's friends, too. She was especially fascinated by Kiko's curls. She once asked her mother if she could keep the color of her hair but have curls like Kiko, and the three mechanics boarding with Mrs. Witchetty spent the rest of the afternoon curling her hair as close as they could get to Kiko's (which wasn't very close at all, but Beth was more than satisfied). Leslie, meanwhile, snuck her treats from the cookie jar and showed her how to fly a kite, and it wasn't long before Beth was asking her mother for a pair of overalls like Leslie's, too.

The only person who visited Mrs. Witchetty's more than Mama E had to be George. He showed up almost every day, and Beth squealed every time he walked in the door, scampering to hear whatever joke he'd prepared for her this time. She'd fall over herself giggling, and if her mother was busy, Tink would scoop her up and tickle her as she greeted George with a broad smile. Leslie could tell just by looking that George was falling in love all over again, watching Tink interact with this little girl who looked like she could be Tink's daughter. Having a little one in the house also got her feeling some kind of way, all fluttery and bittersweet and hopeful. She mentioned that to Don once, and though she'd meant it a bit offhandedly, he almost choked on his breakfast.

"I like the name 'Beth'," she mused once he was sipping at his water, mostly recovered. "What would you name a daughter, if you had one?"

"Helen," Don answered after some thought. "Helen, for my mother."

"That's sweet," Leslie replied with a smile. "I don't think my Ma would want me naming my kid 'Mildred', though. Maybe Merle, for my Dad. Yeah, I could make Merle work."

"Maybe as a middle name?" Don offered a bit weakly.

"Yeah, there you go! Hmm, 'Helen Merle'."

Leslie scrunched up the side of her mouth, and Don shrugged with feigned nonchalance.

"We'll workshop it."

"Yeah," she laughed, bumping her shoulder against his as if this was just another one of their jokes, unaware of how she'd made his heart pound with the implication of this imagined daughter being theirs. "We'll workshop it."

Tink left for Cardiff at the end of the first week. Her request for a six-day furlough had finally been approved, and her brothers and cousin Janie were just as eager to see her as she was to see them. She'd be there in Cardiff for four days with two more on either end reserved for travel. The day of her leaving, practically everyone and their mother (in Beth's case, quite literally) stopped by for the send-off. That morning in the garage, a few friends of theirs in the Mechorps gave Tink a small toolbox they'd assembled to give to her brothers. Around noontime, Beth, Pearl, and Mama E said their goodbyes; they needed to run an errand in town and wouldn't be back by the time Tink was gone. By mid-afternoon, when Tink finally had to leave to catch the train, they'd assembled so many friends that they had to borrow a car from the garage in addition to filling every available seat (and then some) in Mrs. Witchetty's car. Leslie drove with the guest of honor in the passenger seat, and she had to keep swatting away hands that reached forward from the back to pat Tink's shoulder, offer her a party horn, or get her to hold a pinwheel out the open window and let it spin in the breeze.

After they all came back from the station and dispersed, Leslie went into the kitchen for a snack and found George sitting at the table. She'd thought he'd gone back to the base with the others, and when she came in, he only hummed a hello, lost in thought. There was clearly something on his mind, so Leslie made no mention of her surprise and asked him instead if he'd like a few crackers while she had them out.

"Can I talk to you about something, Leslie?"

She slowed, looked at the cracker box where she'd taken it halfway out of the cupboard, and put it back.

"Of course." She came around to the other side of the table and drew up a chair beside her friend. "Is everything okay?"

"I'm in love with Tink."

"Ah." She clasped her hands before her, understanding the gravity of the matter. "And that means...?"

"It means everything is not all that okay."

"Gotcha."

George sighed, sagging in his chair and indenting his cheek as he leaned it upon a loose fist.

"I know I can't do a damn thing about it," he said morosely, "but I just had to tell someone."

Leslie blinked. "Whoever said that?"

"Said what?"

"That you couldn't do 'a damn thing' about it." She leaned sideways against the table, turning to meet George's gaze more fully. "You love her," she said, "and he-" They both knew who she was referring to. "-doesn't."

"You know that," George refuted sadly, "and I know that, but she doesn't."

"But she will!"

"Sparky-"

"Don't lose hope, George." Leslie reached over and took his hand, squeezing it in reassurance. "I know patience is hard when it comes to this kind of thing-"

He barked a laugh, interrupting. "Says you!"

Leslie, reasonably puzzled, drew her hand back and replied, "Yeah, says me."

Something seemed to dawn on George, and he sat up straighter, eyeing her with what almost seemed to be excitement.

"Says... you."

"Yeah, George, that's what I've-"

"Is there something you're not telling me, Leslie Sheppard?"

Leslie's freckles creased up as she emphasized the confusion of her expression.

"No..."

"I think there is." George was grinning by now. "I told you a secret..."

Finally realizing just what he was implying, Leslie put on a pitying face and quickly diverted the conversation.

"A secret? Oh, George—I, uh, I hate to be the bearer of bad news..."

His eyes went wide.

"She knows?!"

"She's just about the only one who doesn't," Leslie confessed, grimacing sympathetically, and George harrumphed.

"And you're just about the only one who-"

He broke off, looking guilty, but such a strange and bitter retort was so unlike him, and Leslie was so taken aback that she pressed him to tell her what he'd been about to say. She'd only gotten the first few words out, though, before Beth came racing into the room, skidding across the floor in her socks, and Leslie had to jump up to keep her from colliding with the oven. Unphased, Beth grabbed Leslie's leg and hung on, looking up at her with a wide, curious grin.

"Leslie?" That was Pearl, poking her head through the kitchen door. "There's a soldier here with-"

"Cimanim!" Beth shrieked excitedly. "Cimanim hair!"

Leslie relaxed. "That's my friend, Donald Malarkey."

Beth released Leslie and dashed over to George, grabbing his sleeve and tugging. "Marky's here!" she announced as if it was the most serious thing in the world, and beamed when George nodded just as gravely.

"Why don't you stay here, pumpkin?" Pearl suggested, then added to Leslie in a lower voice, "Your friend's got something for you. Thought you might want the chance to open it yourself."

Beth did have a habit of tearing open gifts that weren't meant for her. She still associated the word 'present' with herself and only herself, and she was still learning that just because something was in a box, a bag, or wrapped with newspaper didn't mean it was that kind of 'present'. Accordingly, Leslie went with Pearl, but not without shooting George a look over her shoulder—This conversation isn't over. He pretended not to see, now sitting on the linoleum floor with Beth as they played patty cake.

"You wanna know a secret?" he asked, and she nodded happily.

"I keep secrets good!" she exclaimed. "Mommy says so."

"I'm sure you can," he agreed, still patting his hands against hers, talking with the same rhythm to make her giggle. "Well, here's the secret: I have two friends, and they love each other very much, and they're going to live happily ever after."

Beth burst into raucous laughter, rolling onto her side, then popping back up just as soon as she'd gone down.

"Why's that a secret?!" she gasped with wide eyes.

"Because," he told her, giving in to her contagious laughter, "they don't know it yet!"

Beth tumbled about a little more, still giggling, and then stumbled to her feet and dashed out of the room to find her mother. She nearly ran into Leslie in the doorway and latched onto Leslie's pant leg, chattering about how 'Uncle George' told her secrets and how good she was of a secret keeper. Declaring for all the world to hear that she wanted applesauce, she ran off to ask her mother if she could have some from the 'refwidawader', a word she was still learning to say. Leslie quirked a brow at George, and he, smiling fondly—and a bit secretively—shook his head. So he hadn't told Beth about his feelings for Tink, then, it was another secret, no doubt a harmless one. 

"You've got a spring in your step," he remarked as she came fully into the room, and she beamed, presenting the lidless, octagonal box in her arms.

"Look! Don bought me a new hat."

"Oh," George mused, peering at the handsome russet newsboy cap. "Very nice."

"He bought it when we were in London, he said—I didn't even notice him slipping away, he was so quick about it—and it just came in the mail today, so he brought it by to surprise me." Still grinning, she cradled the box in her arms, looking at the cap in its bed of tissue paper. "I'm going to send it home, of course, for safekeeping, seeing as the war's still on—not to mention, Mama E's already a little unhappy with the girls and I keeping so many personal things, even when we're not on the base, so..."

Though he was clearly listening, George had started chuckling as if he knew something she didn't, and Leslie trailed off with a mild frown.

"What?"

"He bought you a hat?"

"Yes!"

Her smile returned, but then George smirked, and it waned again.

"A hat."

"Yes, a hat."

"Not a ring?"

Leslie could feel the heat blooming pink across her cheeks, and she cleared her throat, squeezing the hatbox as she looked aside. George was plainly amazed by her reaction, but she was saved from having to explain herself by Beth hurtling back in, unstoppable in her mission. While Leslie went through the bowls and helped Beth pick the nicest one (only the best for her applesauce), George watched them, shaking his head, his smile one of incredulity.

Sheesh. Maybe I'm not the most hopeless case after all.

"No, three!" Beth insisted when Leslie tried to hand her a spoon, holding up three little fingers. "You eat, too!"

Leslie looked over at George, and when he shrugged, she turned back to Beth and reached back into the silverware drawer.

"Three spoons it is."

Although April might have been a slow month, a great deal happened in May of '44. Tink returned from Cardiff on the 2nd completely rejuvenated, loaded with stories, jokes, photographs, and love from her family. To all those who knew her well, it was evident in her lightness of spirit that Charlie Hammond and his tomfuckery—as Leslie referred to it—hadn't crossed her mind once while she was away. Pearl and little Beth left a few days later. Beth was so distraught at leaving Tink so soon after getting her back that she was only assuaged by Tink gifting her a locket with a curl of her own hair inside, then going with her all the way to the station and waving from the platform until the train was well out of sight. Though Tink's uplifted heart noticeably boosted the moods of her friends for the next several days, their shared delight was soon overshadowed by the announcement of Operation Overlord. Some internalized the news better than others, but they all understood the same that this was really it. They'd be seeing real warfare in a matter of weeks, and it didn't matter all that much how prepared they were—no one could know just what lay ahead.

Over the course of the month, their training was increased, bolstered, and specified. Easy Company and the Mechorps saw each other less and less; on the days their schedules aligned to share a lunch hour in the mess hall, they dragged out that time as long as they feasibly could without making trouble. Though everything seemed a bit more solemn, they still found their ways to have fun, and not everything felt serious—at least, not until the mutiny. Those two days were tense beyond belief. Men all throughout Easy camped out at Mrs. Witchetty's for a few hours, hiding from a vengeful Sobel and a furious Sink. By evening of the second day, still with no news from Regiment, at least half of the Company had cycled through, some more than once. Every single non-com involved in the mutiny had showed up, most of them in pairs; if Leslie found one of them crying from the stress in the upstairs bathroom, she never told.

Fortunately, the most stressful period of the entire Spring turned into the highlight of the season when the news broke that Captain Sobel would be transferred to a new jump school at Chilton Foliat, effective immediately. Two of Easy's sergeants had been demoted, and one of the same was borrowed out to the Pathfinders Division, but otherwise, the non-coms were released with no repercussions but a slap on the wrist. This stroke of luck took a great deal of weight off everyone's shoulders, and there was even a little bit of a party at Mrs. Witchetty's that night after supper. There was a general air of satisfaction, and Leslie was not the only one practically delirious with relief, not by a long shot. As soon as she found Don in the crowd, she kissed him square on the mouth, but she did it so quickly that he didn't have time to respond. She jumped into his arms, wrapping her legs around his torso, and as he held her up, he buried his face into her neck, hoping she would hear his laughter and miss the tears suddenly pricking at his eyes.

The following day, a Tuesday, dawned bright, clear, and warm, a nice change from a previously cloudy and cold week. Leslie and Kiko left the garage early and went into CP, nodding politely at a few officers in the Intelligence division as they crossed the hall into the lounge adjacent to Mama Eades' office. They settled into chairs by the phone on the wall, waiting to hear from Mrs. Witchetty, who'd gone into Swindon for a doctor's appointment and needed someone to come pick her up and drive her back to Aldbourne. The girls had volunteered, and though only one of them needed to go, it was such a nice day for a drive that Leslie wanted to take her motorbike and follow Kiko into town just to enjoy the sunshine. A few officers came and went throughout the next half-hour, exchanging small talk and cigarettes as they poured their morning coffee. The only ones to pay any mind to the girls by the office door were Lieutenants Winters and Speirs, who each greeted them with a nod and returned their genial salutes. Just after 10:00 that morning, a familiar face from Easy popped in just as Leslie started on her third mooched cup of coffee.

"Hey, Sparky, you hear the news?"

Both Leslie and Lieutenant Speirs looked up, then at each other. Noting the shared nickname, they exchanged a slight smile—Huh.—then turned back to Skinny Sisk, who Leslie was just now noticing seemed unusually jittery.

"Sergeant Sheppard," the private corrected, turning a little red in the face at the thought of calling an officer such a friendly nickname. "Have you heard the news?"

"What news?" Leslie asked, chewing on the end of her pencil as she squinted at the newspaper on her knee (she'd never been much good at crosswords).

"We're moving out."

"We're moving out," Leslie mumbled absentmindedly, then bolted upright, her pencil pitching to the floor and her elbow nearly sending her coffee to the same fate.

"We're moving out?!"

Kiko rose from where she'd been sitting by the phone, amazement and curiosity creasing her brow.

"When?" she gasped.

"Yeah, when?" Leslie echoed.

Speirs gestured with his coffee at both women.

"What they said."

Sisk told them what he knew, sprinkling in a few 'sirs' just in case. He said that their drop zone would be in France but he didn't know where exactly, that there would be a lecture about it tomorrow morning for all of the 506th, and that they'd be leaving for some airfield further south by the end of the week. When Leslie asked if "all of the 506th" included the Mechorps, too, Sisk could only shrug. Speirs supposed it was likely, and as Leslie turned over the new information in her head, he turned to Sisk and sent him to deliver the news to the rest of Easy. The lieutenant himself went to inform Dog Company, and Kiko started after him, but she'd barely gotten a foot out the door when the phone rang. Kiko looked between it and Leslie, torn, and Leslie shook her head, darting past her friend to catch the door before it shut.

"You handle that. I'll go tell her."

As Kiko backtracked to the phone, Leslie jumped back inside, realizing she'd forgotten her jacket and cap, then hightailed it out the door as Kiko cupped the receiver to her ear.

"Hello? Yes, Mrs. Witchetty, it's Kelani- No, Mrs. Witchetty, I can hear you just fine-"

Leslie burst into the garage like a hurricane was on her heels and nearly ran right into Danny Huff. At the commotion, Tink and Eli Shackley looked up from the project they had splayed across their workbench. Tink wore a bandana to keep her hair back and thick sautering gloves on her hands; as she tilted her head inquisitively at Leslie, she moved to wipe sweat off her forehead and smeared a bit of grease there instead.

"Where's the fire?" she teased, but her smile quickly fell when she saw how wide her friend's eyes had gone and how her chest heaved from a greater pressure than the exertion of her brief run.

"France," Leslie panted in reply, "in France."

The whole room went quiet. Danny, Eli, Sal McDermot, and seven or eight others looked over at Leslie with bated breath. Even Kent Hudley, who had steered clear of the girls since the misunderstanding at the bar, couldn't help but poke his head up and listen in.

"It sure is France," declared Captain Eades as she came in the side door, dropping her keys into her upturned cap and tossing them as one onto her desk as she broke the silence. "I sure hope you lot like baguettes."

That next morning, Don arrived at Mrs. Witchetty's before the sun had finished cresting the horizon. He wedged himself between two hedges to get around the side of the house and threw pebbles at Leslie's window until she let him in. In the two hours before he had to get back to the base for the start of the day's training, they sat on the carpet in the upstairs sitting room and made a bundle of letters for their families. Nibbling on Mrs. Witchetty's heavenly lemon biscuits as they wrote and arranged, they included well-wishing notes from their friends, several paper boats made by Leslie (flattened to fit into an envelope), a few British pence and bottlecaps from British beers as souvenirs for their younger siblings, and two photographs. The first image featured the two of them plus Skip and Penkala, standing on the road that led up to the Aldbourne base, and the other of Leslie, Tink, and Kiko, standing on the front steps of Mrs. Witchetty's. Leslie pressed a kiss to the envelope once they'd sealed it, then had Don do the same. She went alone to the post office in town but passed by Easy Company on their morning run on her return route and waved to her friends, laughing as they cheered for and whistled at her mere existence.

That afternoon, training was canceled for all the enlisted men and women in order for the officers throughout the 101st to use the time for a long meeting. Accordingly, Leslie, Skip, Tink, and George spent the afternoon making gingerbread cookies for the entirety of Easy. Mrs. Witchetty had read in a newspaper column that there was going to be a shortage of molasses, but as it turned out, the report had been entirely incorrect; there was to be a shortage of mustard seed instead (whoever wrote the column seemed to have gotten their grocery list 'M's mixed up). Unfortunately, Mrs. Witchetty had already panicked and bought an exorbitant excess of baking ingredients, which was where Leslie and her friends came in. Don, who'd come along with Skip and George, was suffering a biting headache and had taken to petsitting upstairs while he waited for it to pass. In the kitchen, however, things were not going quite so easily.

"What's this for?" Skip asked, holding up the mixer, and Leslie, tying a floral apron around her waist, looked at him funny.

"To... mix things."

"And this?" chimed in Tink, waving a thin whisk around.

"It's a whisk."

"Okay...?" Tink twirled it again as if Leslie hasn't answered her question at all.

"And you... whisk with it."

"What about this?" Skip poked himself with the cake tester and winced. "Ow."

Leslie slowed down from where she stood whisking some of the dry ingredients and looked over at her friends.

"I feel like I should help you two," she said without moving to do anything. With a sigh, she turned and looked at George on her other side to see how she was doing, and discovered he was, miraculously, cracking eggs one-handed into a bowl with the rest of the wet ingredients laid out before him.

"George!"

"Hmm?" He looked up, tossing the eggshells into the trash bin as he went to the sink to wash his hands. "What?"

"Since when do you bake?" Skip asked, leaning around Tink to eye their friend.

"Since I was a kid," George answered with a shrug, drying his hands on a linen towel heavily embroidered with figs. "Why?"

"Have I ever told you how amazing you are?" Leslie exclaimed gratefully, grabbing his arm and dragging him over to where Tink and Skip were trying to figure out all of their tools. "I'm putting you in charge over here."

"You're the boss."

As George tried to combat the chaos of their baffled friends, Leslie grabbed the cinnamon and returned to her dry ingredients bowl. Less than a minute had passed before Don wandered into the kitchen to see how things were going with Meatball lounging and Socket trotting curiously after, her whiskers wiggling as she sniffed the air.

"What's going on in here?" he asked, quirking his head at George teaching Skip and Tink how to operate simple baking machinery, then grinned at Leslie's floral apron. "You look nice."

She snorted, squinting into the mortar in which she was grinding cloves with a pestle.

"I look like my Granny."

"Nah." Don chuckled, then paused. "Well..."

"Oh, hardy-har-har."

"Put some flour in your hair, and maybe."

"You silly." She stuck her tongue out at him just to make him laugh. "And to answer your question, about what's going on in here?"

She caught the handle of the whisk just before it would have slipped down the metal sides of the bowl and sent up a cloud of flour, sugar, baking soda, and various spices.

"Havoc."

"Sounds like my idea of fun," Don decided, setting Meatball down on the couch before he came around the counter, grabbed an apron from the hook by the oven, and went to wash his hands. "How can I help?"

Relieved, Leslie dusted her flour-spotted palms on her apron, then leaned on Don's shoulder, wrapping her hands around his arm and giving a gentle squeeze.

"What would I ever do without you?" she sighed, and he pointed at their friends right as Skip turned the mixer up to the highest setting.

"Have to explain to Mrs. Witchetty why it looks like her kitchen went through the apocalypse!" Don replied, raising his voice about the noise, and Leslie stifled her giggled against his sleeve.

"But really," he added once George had unplugged the mixer and Don himself had recovered from the sudden tidal wave of fondness he felt toward Leslie, "what can I do to make this run a little more smoothly?"

Don had baked a dozen or so times with Leslie over the years, so he knew the ropes well enough to get the gist of things without much direction.

Leslie situated him right next to her at George's abandoned wet ingredients station, and he got right to work. Their elbows kept bumping as they mixed and reached for ingredients, and every time, they'd look at each other and laugh with cheeks just a little bit pinker than usual. Meanwhile, George managed to corral Skip and Tink by giving them the task of sorting through Mrs. Witchetty's extensive cookie cutter collection to find some good shapes.

"Well, shit," he said gamely as he came back around the counter. "Malark's taken my spot."

Don grinned and tossed his hair back a bit clumsily, unable to tuck it back with his fingers covered in batter.

"You know it."

"Don!" Leslie bumped her hip against his. "Be nice."

"S'alright," George chuckled, "this is a much nicer domestic picture."

He framed them with his thumbs and pointer fingers as if he was taking a photograph, and when Leslie and Don turned to look at one another, they were both surprised to discover the other blushing. Don glanced aside, flustered, only to notice Socket clawing at her namesake across the room. He rushed over to stop her, wiping his hands on his apron, and inadvertently gave up his place to George.

"Hah! Score!" George happily picked up where Don left off but made sure to mutter to Leslie out of the corner of his mouth, "I know I'm not quite as good company as darling Don there-"

She wrinkled up her nose and flicked batter at him, and a playful fight would have ensued had a grinning Tink not skidded up to George to show him a cog-shaped cookie cutter that she insisted must be used for all of the cookies.

"All of 'em?"

"All of 'em."

Knowing full well that George couldn't say no to Tink's smile, Leslie pressed her lips together to try and suppress a smirk and teased, "Kiss him and you'll get your wish."

Tink laughed. "I thought you had to rub the lamp!"

As Leslie turned aside to hide her laughter and George turned beet red, both of them hearing the accidental innuendo Tink had just made, Tink, oblivious, grabbed George's face and kissed him on the corner of his mouth. He melted, and Leslie didn't bother to hide her smirk any longer as she went to fetch the cookie sheets from the cabinet over the oven.

"Told you so."

The majority of the cookies did end up as cogs, save for a dozen that Skip managed to steal away for his own designs when Tink wasn't looking. He preferred the robin cookie cutter and used the cap of a pen to indent eyes into each bird. He might have gone on to find a way to texture the feathers had they not needed to get the cookies in the oven, and by then, a crowd was gathering outside. Leslie put Skip, Tink, and George in charge of distributing the cookies while she and Don finished baking the rest. Meatball and Socket slipped outside at one point, but they didn't go far, staying close to Tink as they eyed the crowd. By the end of the afternoon, the friends had managed to collect a sizeable donation without ever asking for the money. As they sat around the kitchen table, looking at the bucket of change without a clue what to do with it, Tink suddenly leaped to her feet, swinging her fist with the excitement of her idea.

"We'll ask Mrs. Witchetty! She bought all the ingredients, so in part, it's her money, too."

The group hastened into the living room and clustered around the old widow, who was knitting in her favorite armchair. She looked at their smiling faces and squinted through her glasses, thinking they were up to some mischief. Then they posed their question and her frown turned into a look of fond pride.

"Oh, you darlings," she hummed, wiping away a tear. "Give it to the Red Cross. They need it more than we do."

And that's precisely what they did. Leslie volunteered to deliver the donation, and Don was quick to join her. They took her motorcycle for the drive into Swindon and found the Red Cross outpost without much difficulty, as it was two doors down from the hospital.

"You know, Don," Leslie said, thumbing her belt loops as she and Don returned to the warm May evening, "I think we've done a good deed today. Good enough that we deserve dinner on the town—my treat. Don't you think so?"

Smiling, Don looped his arm around hers, and when she immediately tucked herself against his side, he pecked the side of her head in a kiss.

"You know, Les, I couldn't agree more."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[bhagyasree-r-mutalik]

10 Reasons Why Linen is the Perfect Fabric for Every Season

Introduction:

When it comes to choosing the right fabric for your wardrobe, versatility is key. Linen, a timeless material with a rich history, stands out as a go-to option for every season. Whether you're gearing up for summer sun or bracing for winter chills, linen offers unique qualities that make it an ideal choice. Here are ten compelling reasons why linen should be a staple in your closet all year round.

1. Breath-ability

One of linen's standout features is its breath-ability. The natural fibers allow air to circulate freely, keeping you cool during the hot summer months. This makes linen an excellent choice for summer dresses, shirts, and pants. The fabric’s ability to wick moisture away from the body helps you stay dry and comfortable, no matter how high the temperatures soar.

2. Insulating Properties

While linen is known for its cooling effects, it also offers surprising insulation during cooler months. The natural fibers trap air, providing warmth without the bulk. Layering linen pieces, such as a linen shirt under a sweater or a linen scarf, allows you to adapt to fluctuating temperatures effortlessly.

3. Durability

Linen is one of the strongest natural fibers available, making it incredibly durable. Unlike other fabrics that may fray or wear out quickly, linen maintains its integrity over time. This durability means that linen garments can withstand the rigors of daily wear and last for years, making them a worthwhile investment.

4. Eco-Friendly Choice

In an era where sustainability is more important than ever, linen shines as an Eco-friendly option. Flax, the plant from which linen is derived, requires less water and pesticides compared to cotton. Additionally, linen is biodegradable, making it a responsible choice for environmentally-conscious consumers.

5. Timeless Aesthetic

Linen boasts a timeless, effortless elegance that never goes out of style. Its natural texture and subtle sheen give it a sophisticated appearance, making it suitable for both casual and formal occasions. Whether you’re dressing up for a wedding or down for a picnic, linen effortlessly complements any look.

6. Hypoallergenic Properties

For those with sensitive skin, linen is a fantastic choice. Its hypoallergenic properties reduce the likelihood of irritation, making it suitable for everyone, including babies. The smooth texture of linen is gentle on the skin, ensuring comfort all day long.

7. Easy Maintenance

Contrary to popular belief, linen is easy to care for. It is machine washable and becomes softer with each wash, enhancing its comfort. While it may wrinkle, this characteristic adds to its charm, giving linen a relaxed, lived-in look that is both stylish and practical.

8. Versatile for Layering

Linen's lightweight nature makes it perfect for layering. In spring and fall, you can easily add a linen blazer or cardigan over a tank top. During winter, it serves as a fantastic base layer beneath sweaters and coats. This versatility allows you to create a variety of outfits, maximizing your wardrobe options.

9. Color and Pattern Variety

Linen comes in a wide range of colors and patterns, making it easy to find pieces that fit your personal style. From vibrant hues perfect for summer to muted tones ideal for autumn, linen can be found in just about every shade imaginable. Plus, it takes dye beautifully, allowing for intricate patterns that can elevate any outfit.

10. Comfort

Finally, comfort is perhaps the most compelling reason to choose linen. Its natural fibers feel soft against the skin, and the fabric drapes beautifully, enhancing movement. Whether you’re lounging at home or running errands, linen allows for easy mobility, making it a practical yet chic choice.

Conclusion:

Linen is more than just a fabric; it’s a lifestyle choice that enhances comfort, style, and sustainability. Its breathability, durability, and hypoallergenic properties make it suitable for every season, ensuring you look and feel your best year-round. Whether you’re dressing for a summer festival or layering for winter warmth, linen’s versatility will keep you stylish in any weather.

So, if you haven’t already, consider incorporating linen into your wardrobe. Its timeless appeal and practical benefits are sure to make it a staple for years to come. Embrace the beauty and versatility of linen, and you’ll wonder how you ever lived without it!

[harishjagtani123]

Five strategies to prevent violence in the workplace - Mr. Harish Jagtani

Violence in the workplace is nothing new in the world. A report revealed that more than 22% of about 75,000 workers in 121 countries surveyed recently reported having experienced at least one type of violence or harassment. In fact, workplace violence has been increasing over the past few years and has affected innumerable employees and employers, too

When we come to know about a case of violence, it not only affects the victim, but also has wider consequences it affects the victim, the victim’s manager, colleagues and even the employer. Such issues should be taken care of promptly without sweeping it under the carpet or pretending that nothing has happened however small an incident is. Or else, it will grow over time and damage the company’s reputation and cause more harm.

Violence of other kinds than shooting incidents can spread anxiety in a workplace. Therefore, it is important to be alert and identify the warning signs before things get out of hand. To lower possible workplace violence, companies should identify the risk factors and the way the workers operate. They should take stern steps and create an exemplary culture.

1. Background Check of Recruits

Workplace violence prevention begins right at the time of hiring. Carrying out thorough background checks on employees once they accept a job offer can reveal if any of them has any history of violence. If there is any, an explanation can be sought to ensure that it matches with the report. If anyone is found convicted in a recent crime, the job offer may be rescinded to avoid a repeat behavior in this organization. Steps may be considered to lower employee anxiety by installing video surveillance along with ID badges and electronic keys, among others.

2. Policy to Prevent Harassment

Harassment or bullying is a threat to people. It creates an unpleasant work environment and is often a warning sign of ensuing violence. So, a zero-tolerance policy should be created to prevent harassment leading to any kind of violence. This policy should include a set of procedures that tackles workplace complaints effectively and in private. This policy must involve every level of employees—from managers and senior executives to the junior most staff. Everyone across the organization should be informed of the policy and it should be made sure that each employee truly understands it.

3. Effective Communication Line

A powerful communication system is a key factor that can prevent workplace violence. Employees should have access to the workplace communication network. It will allow them to understand and also report early signs of potential violence, rather than simply look the other way and keep working. Besides, if they gain access to conflict resolution resources, it will make them feel responsible to report and share important information. Moreover, HR should provide an open communication line to the management and other key members of the company to create an environment where employees feel their grievances are heard and responded to.

4. Training & Awareness Creation

Each year, training sessions should be held not only for managers and supervisors, but also for each subordinate member of the staff on how to resolve conflicts, recognize behaviors and reduce stress and post-incident measures. Everyone should be trained to take decisive action quickly and each team member should get the confidence needed to responsibly respond during such an incident. Additionally, differences in opinion and working style, or personality clashes exist in every workplace. Such conflicts can be avoided by organizing activities and helping the team know each other well and acknowledge differences as positive qualities. This may help people view their individual differences as a vital role in building the team's strengths.

5. A Stringent Anti-Violence Policy

Workplace violence can be prevented by creating firm policies that will empower the team to report violent behavior, harassment and other similar incidents. Such a policy eliminates irresponsible and unwelcome employee behavior and leaves no scope for playing favorites. Managers must carry out swift and consistent punishment no matter who has violated the policy. It should also be made sure that all employees are aware of the consequences of violating this policy. This tough stand will help show the company's commitment towards preventing violence.

About the Author

Mr. Harish Jagtani, a philanthropist, visionary, businessman of Indian origin, currently based in Democratic Republic of Congo for more than 20 years now, is one of the most reputed business owners in the Indian diaspora as well as the entire expat business community in DRC. The business house caters to multiple domains, including but not limited to Domestic as well as International Air Cargo, real Estate and infrastructure development, healthcare, hospitality as well as CSR.

Coming from humble beginnings from Jaipur, Rajasthan, Mr. Harish Jagtani has come a long way in building this conglomerate with a strong and clear vision, sheer dedication and grit. Starting with a small job in sales, Mr. Harish Jagtani today is a proud and righteous owner of a fleet of airplanes and multiple businesses that cater to the basic and advanced needs of the people of Dem. Rep. of Congo in different sectors.

[artbyblastweave]

Taking the bait for Tick

Setting fusion in which the end of Watchmen loosely overlaps with the appearance of Scion and the rise of actual superpowered capes, who are using the Minutemen and Crimebusters as their cultural referents when they start to go out in costume. Vikare doesn't get beaten to death in this AU because people don't believe he has powers, or at least not specifically because of that; he gets beaten to death because people are sick of the masked vigilantes in general and haven’t twigged to the fact that this is a genuinely new paradigm. 

Scion ends the cold war (possibly intervening in the squid attack? Not sure of the exact timeline on this) frustrating Ozymandias and driving him to involvement with early Cauldron; his motivation is halfsies between recognition of the threat posed by Scion and irritation that an actual monstrous space-squid dropped out of the aether to obviate his meticulously crafted space-squid plan. He might be the recipient of a vial, or he might be kept on, very deliberately, as the token paragon human to act as a counterbalance to Average Jane Doctor Mother; this has mixed effects on the organization’s efficacy, because despite his gestures towards pragmatism (”I did it 35 minutes ago”) he did name and style himself after one of the most famously egotistical mythohistorical figures. Bit of an ego there.

In all derivative works that examine the future of the Watchmen setting, attempts at Heroism in general are framed as being essentially unsuppressable once the precedent has been set. Scion exacerbates this process, as a stateless, apolitical agent of heroic idealism replacing the nakedly political (but ironically much more human) Dr. Manhattan, and thus giving a northstar to people who otherwise would be understandably cynical about heroism as a concept.

 Night Owl and Silk Spectre, who canonically embarked on a renewed crimefighting career after Watchmen canon, are early beneficiaries of this, both becoming unusually old triggers due to their disproportionately high levels of experience, and beneficiaries of Cauldron’s eventual pro-cape cultural engineering, being lauded as prescient early adopters and fixtures of the third-wave cape scene. I don’t really have much in mind for this part, beyond the idea that Dan, based on his canon insecurities and disillusionment, probably becomes an overengineering Tinker- building tinkertech that gets the job done but is almost always just a flashier way of accomplishing a mundane goal if you stop and think about it for two seconds. Laurie I suspect would have some kind of trigger event tied up in her inability to let go of cape life, her sense of being a vessel for other’s ambitions and fantasies, her lack of meaningful options besides capehood (”I’m 35 years old and the only people I know are goddamn superheroes!”) but I don’t have a pat power in mind, or really the best grasp of her character beyond the surface stuff.

Lurking in the background of the setting is Rorschach, whose inability to reconcile his personal ethics with the utilitarian action everyone else committed to, and his ensuing suicidal state, causes him to undergo the mother of all breaker triggers at the moment of his canon annihilation. Post-Manhattaning Rorschach is a Breaker/Thinker/Master/Stranger who, upon scanning a target, gains knowledge of any information that might shatter that person’s worldview, and the ability to telepathically inflict that knowledge on his target if he gets close enough. Said ability to get close enough is provided by the fact that his breaker state- a blurry, spectral caricature of his pre-trigger costume- is both mostly intangible and imperceptible to anyone who doesn’t share a “headspace” with his current target (I.E. someone who’d be equally devastated to hear the Worldview-Shattering-Truth.) Rorschach’s targets either tend to quietly melt down and fall off the radar, or go out in a suicidal burst of self-destruction that accomplishes very little beyond getting the target killed; this is a process lubricated by Rorschach’s shard, which, due to Rorschach’s perma-breaker state, is able to play Rorschach like a fiddle, nudging him into targeting people who’ll go off the rails in a conflict-maximizing way.

Rorschach’s power resolves the tension of his trigger in the worst way possible; he’s free to follow his ideals in spreading horrific truths to as many people as he wants, but only in a way that inflicts the same moral paralysis or self-destruction he suffered from; to the extent that his information is actionable, it solely produces doomed, crazed crusaders who die before accomplishing much, essentially rendering his choice to share the information moot (and morally harmless.) To the extent that this thing would have a plot, I think it would involve 2011-era characters (probably a Watchdog cube jockey) investigating Case 86, The Rorschach Ghost, and invariably stumbling upon the information black hole surrounding the Ozymandias plot.

[chatonyant]

Some hella messy doodles for the shippuden designs! Excuse the every changing details because I am never truly happy with final designs dear lord-

I’ve got design notes! Long wall of words belooowww

Starting with Naruto once again!

his clothes are based off of several unfinished ideas I had of Uzushio and how their proficiency with seals would allow them to be more flamboyant or lighter in their gear. The magic of storage and protective seals!

there are seals embroidered into the inner lining and occasionally the exterior, acting as both armor and pack. Uzushio always seemed like a rather bright place, connected to the sea, so I made the robes generally blue themed but also darker as they are still shinobi in the end and bright colors are harder to hide. 

I added a hood because Naruto just,,,, he has modern streetwear vibes. He’d love hoodies

The whole Uzushio inspired ensemble is cause I was thinking that in this au he finds the opportunity to find and visit the island itself. Probably during the time skip, considering it’s hard to really place the discovery of a long lost village within the six-month period between graduation and the chunnin exams

At first I wanted to give him like a mesh crop top to show his seal but then it kinda didn’t have that traditional vibe that I wanted, so I added the kimono top and a red obi with symbols that kinda symbolize the seal (because Naruto connects with Kurama much earlier in this AU)

The headband was honestly ridiculously tricky to place because i was trying to draw this longer hair without making it poof weirdly at the top. Plus I wanted to keep the headband where it was cause,,, cause i was thinking when he goes into tailed beast mode the ribbons flare up to look like Kurama’s ears :”DDD peek design amiright-

his hair. is longer. because i love long hair Naruto to bits and it makes him look like his parents ;;; both of them

the gloves. I have no excuse. They just Look Cool

Sakura:

I gave her an undercut

she deserves it

I didn’t mention this in the other redesign post but she has dimples (though i’m really bad at drawing them

that one scene where she tied up her hair in the Kazekage Rescue Arc was so fucking beautiful I couldn’t resist throwing it in here lmaoooo

i can’t draw it right but imagine the ponytail kinda flowering out like a sakura blossom 

I took a lot of different things I liked about the older!Sakura designs and smooshed them in one with my own twist

like sleeveless qipao

Belt from pre-timeskip period stays, except now with an extra medical supply bag

longer pants cause they look nice

Sasuke:

honestly I like his normal shippuden design a lot so i kept most of it

I added a cape though, cause he does travel around a bit

and as i was drawing him the collar reverted to a similar shape to his kid clothes

fun fact

the reason that his outfit remains largely the same is because

Sasuke does leave

the action itself doesn’t change, but the circumstances and the ensuing effects do. quite a bit, actually.

and no it does not take the entirety of shippuden to get him back

because he is not a revenge obsessed angry kid here

the biggest reason for all this change is cause I want to change Orochimaru cause i wanna make him live purely because I love mitsuki so fucking much

also i gave him a little half ponytail cause i wanted to give him longer hair but then realized that idk how to draw that and make it look good sO new style boyos

Kakashi? what are you doing here?:

I wanted to change up Kakashi’s look as well because it’s actually really fun to design these outfits no matter difficult it may be bUT it was difficult because I just... can’t see him without a vest. 

Not that i can’t see him without wearing a vest, because i have and it’s good and I like it, but i can’t see him going into battle or on missions without one. 

I’ve got this headcannon that the vest is lowkey like a security blanket and it’s this grounding weight whenever he’s in this adrenaline filled situation where he may suffer many varieties of consequences if he’s not careful. It has his tools and it’s his armor. Replacing it with a robe feels like robbing him of something he’s always had and is always used to

SO

he keeps a vest

i modified it a bit to make it more right hand sided (i may headcannon Kakashi to be ambidextrous but there’s no denying he uses his right hand more) and the collar to be a bit thinner

Kakashi is like, made for biker fashion. like leather or denim jackets on motorbikes. So I gave him a haori that emulates that look 

Naruto came back, saw that Kakashi didn’t change at ALL and took it as a personal offense and dragged him around to get new threads because “Kakashi-sensei, we all upgraded our closet, you should too!”

kind of a sad headcannon that Kakashi didn’t quite let himself enjoy things that wouldn’t benefit him as a ninja and therefore just stuck to his normal outfit of ninja clothes and jonin vest. Icha Icha was the one exception and he picked it up because he had no idea what to do once he was out of ANBU (i would like to back this hc up by pointing to Boruto where Kakashi no longer really holds himself to this rigid ideal of a ninja and lets loose and has fun with Gai and Mirai)

ANYWAYS

he actually likes the stuff Naruto finds for him, though he has no idea where the boy is actually finding all this shit

some misc info about the outfits:

Naruto began learning sealing after the Wave Arc, and he took to it like a fish to water. (i have uzushio spirit hc that I will tell at a later time)

a rare nugget of information he found about uzushio seals was that they were often stitched into the clothing itself

so Naruto went wild with this

he learned sealing while practicing normal embroidery on the side and as he went on his 2-3 year trip with Jiraiya he learned more and just got better and better

He added the seal to his own haori himself and actually made one for Kakashi too. Kakashi just didn’t see him whip the gift haori from one of the stitched sealing scrolls

embroidering takes a really long time and matching it with sealing? oof, hard work. So he actually only got two done and is in process of Sakura’s next. Now that he’s back in the village, he can talk to her about certain things she would want/need considering Naruto isn’t sure what a medic-nin requires.

he made additional gifts for everyone in team seven (even sasuke, even if he doesn’t know what will happen) and hopefully as time passes little trinkets will start to appear

i just really like the idea of naruto being a really craftsy person. He just keeps making small trinkets except these trinkets have sEALING POWER cause he’s very chaotic with his experiments like that

[dragonclaw29]

Top Ten Anime (Sorta)

Hello everyone it is that time of year again, time for my annual top ten anime list. In order not to be boring I have removed any repeats from any previous years. If you want to find those you can search my blog for top ten anime and they will come up. Well I know you didn’t come for my ramblings so here is the list. 

10. Devilman Crybaby

This show I think reflects what sin actually looks like and what it does to a person. Akira is a high school boy whose friend has a mysterious past. A past which will come to dominate not only their friendship but the world as we know it. When demons are on the prowl one might find themselves stooping to their level. 

9. Erased

How does the disappearance of a girl from a mans childhood have anything to do with his mothers death. A man must find out in order to prove his name, and stop tragedy from repeating itself. I would say more but I don’t want to ruin any surprises. 

8. Darker than Black

BK201 a mysterious Contractor involved in the deaths of dozens of people. Ever since 4 gateways around the world appeared people with powers have started to manifest no more so deadly than BK201. With a great opening and a fun character cast from all over the world, Darker than black will keep you guessing and on the edge of your seat. 

7. Demi-Chan wa Kataritai

In a world where human looking monsters exist it is up to teachers and parents to make sure that they can integrate successfully into society. This show is a cute story about a group of friends trying to fit in despite their differences. Demi-chan is adorable, funny, and has a great message and is a show I could recommend to every one. 

6. Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood

If you have been on tumblr for longer than six seconds and were into anime you already have heard of this show. Its great.

5. Paranoia Agent

Japanese society is thrown off its hinges when a mysterious bat wielding man starts to terrorize Tokyo. A mascot designer lies at the heart of this. This show takes no prisoners with its mystery and I am certain you will not guess the twist. Ps. Best episode is number 10, objective fact. 

4. Konosuba

If you were to actually isekai the average teenage boy this show is what I think you would get. I love this show its hilarious, the art style is great, the characters lifelike. Kazuma the main character suddenly finds himself dead and in front of a God. When asked what to bring to the other world he demands that the god comes with him, hilarity ensues. In short this two season show will make you cry laughing. 

3.  Tasogare Otome x Amnesia

The only romance anime on this list Tasogare amnesia tells the tale of a man and the ghost who fell in love with him. This show is surprisingly funny with some really emotional scenes. I fell in love with the shows heroine and her antics as she harasses the only person who can see her. 

2. Shinsekai Yori 

Oh god do I have so many thoughts about this show. I can’t sum them up in a short paragraph. If I had to say anything it would be that everything about this show is designed perfectly to have you stay up late at night thinking about it. This show is not for the faint of heart but it promises one of the best stories ever written. Only reason it wasn’t in my top ten last year was because I still wasn’t over it. 

1. Ima soko ni iru boku

Why does man do evil? That question is explored in this show as the main character Shu is thrust into a world he doesn’t understand but is very much like our own. This show gave me whiplash between the first two episodes, and if you watch it you will know what I mean. I won’t say much on it, it will ruin the effect if I do but be ready to see both the cruelty and beauty of man. 

So thats this years list done and dusted. As per usual feel free to message me to ask questions or tell me that I am wrong. If you have any anime recommendations send them my way. Big shout out to @drunkusaurelius​ for watching many of these shows with me and being just an awesome person. Also make sure to check out @sassymomfriend​ who will upload their own top ten list, tell her I say hi and that not all of my anime choices are life scaring just most of them. 

[wherethingscomebackx]

Top 25 Larry fics of 2019

It’s that time again!

You may be familiar with these lists:

Top 25 Larry fics of 2016

Top 25 Larry fics of 2017

Top 25 Larry fics of 2018

As always, I read a lot of fic and the majority of it is Larry. I like making lists and I like Larry so I thought I’d do some minimal research of the top 25 larry fics published/completed in 2019 in order of least to most kudos (with links). All of these fics are top notch so you should all check them out! 

25.) Foolishy Laying Our Hearts on the Table by @runaway-train-works (11k)

“You think Harry wants that?”

“Dunno. Maybe. Wanna make him happy.” Harry takes advantage of the red light he’s pulled up to turn and look properly at Louis’ face. He’s not even looking in Harry’s direction though, focused instead on something out of his side window, head drooped, mindlessly playing with the string of his hoodie between his fingers, lost in his own world somewhere. For some reason, it makes Harry’s spine straighten.

“Because he’s your best mate?” Harry questions carefully.

“He’s my boyfriend.”

He couldn’t have heard him right. “What?”

Louis releases a deep breath, still not turning around. Harry wonders who he thinks he’s talking to right now. “He’s so pretty. Want to kiss him all day long. And buy him a big house and give him presents and marry him.”

Or

The one where Harry is in love with his best friend Louis but doesn't think he stands a chance until some wisdom teeth and a rather unusual confession might just change his mind.

24.) Tainted Saints And Velvet Vices by @toomanydreamers (126k)

A self-fulfilling Hogwarts AU in which Louis is new to seventh year and Harry is the resident devil-may-care Slytherin set to make his entire experience a living misery. Due to less than favourable circumstances they're forced to forge an unwilling, tentative relationship for their own survival. Repressed emotions, decidedly unromantic ballroom dancing, Triwizard Tournament tasks, creative jinxes and twilight flying above the Forbidden Forest ensue.

23.) all we can do is keep breathing by @avocadolouie (310k)

“Harry, I-I’m so sorry…” Louis stutters out, trying to keep his voice level and even, to portray a depiction of strength, but with the way Harry is looking at him, staring at him like he has a personal passage way straight to Louis’ soul, it’s so hard, nearly impossible.

That simple opening phrase, that short introductory acknowledgement that is often rushed out so easily, painlessly, at a safe distance. Giving a doctor the ability to portray empathy without true emotion, without feeling the full brunt and sheer force of the underlying pain itself.

But Louis feels it, he feels the crushing agony laced behind the phrase, he feels the weight of the painful words slipping from his lips, the cause and effect that the three-word expression holds. The distantly empty “I’m so sorry” that doctors throw out in self-preservation, isn’t at all empty for him. Louis recognizes it, he understands it, he feels it.

--

a fated story of two broken and battered boys who barely survived the unimaginable and how the love of one little brave girl defies all the odds and somehow puts them back together.

22.) Raise a Glass to the Four of Us by @2tiedships2 (25k)

Louis stared at his luggage.

Well. Apparently not his luggage, because the clothing he was looking at currently was a: worth more than everything he currently possessed, b: not his size at all, and c: more suited for a fancy ass lawyer than a holiday in NYC with his best mates.

“Ooh, nice loafers,” Niall said as he pulled one out of the suitcase. “I love the rainbows.”

“Okay,” Liam began. “What do you want to do first? Eat, shop for new clothes, or spend hours on the phone with the airline?”

Louis continued to stare at the luggage.

21.) You Have to Retreat to Advance by @2tiedships2 (18k)

“What am I going to do, Perrie? I can’t go on this retreat by myself. My boss literally said he wants to meet my omega.” Harry paused. “Okay, not literally but he definitely expects me to be bringing him.”

“Don’t people go on these things by themselves?” Perrie asked.

Harry shrugged. “Of course but that’s not the point.”

“What’s the point?”

“My boss is expecting to meet my omega! I don’t have an omega!”

“Is this a paying gig?” Perrie asked.

“You mean paying an omega to spend the weekend with me? I’m sure the resort has nice amenities. Does that count?”

“I take that as a no,” Perrie said with an eye roll. “It’s okay, Louis might be willing to do it for free.”

“Who’s Louis?”

Or the one where Harry is expected to bring his longterm omega to the company's mountain retreat. Since he hadn't told anyone that they'd broken up months ago, he now has to find someone willing to play the part.

20.) A Darker Shade of Love by LittleSpoonStyles94 (750k)

Louis is a 30 year old multi-billionaire with a very dark past. He is violent and is a sadist with a taste for pain. Harry Styles is a 19 year old student who sets out to London after being kicked out by his homophobic father to follow his dreams. He wants to go to the best University to study but he needs a lot of money so he starts to work as a part time stripper at a gay club to support his studies and his life. The club he works at, Garland's, is part owned by Louis Tomlinson. When they meet, its life changing for the both of them.

19.) You Still Make Sense to Me by @amories (37k)

Harry, Louis, and their family navigate life together through the years.

18.) Like Water Over Fire (Like Water On Fire) by @mcssymon (119k)

“I’m sorry your highness, I think I misheard you, did you really say that you are hoping to meet your husband?” Oh god, Louis panicked. Was Prince Harry gay? Was he even allowed to be gay? Surely he wouldn’t be allowed to have a selection from a group of men, right?

Prince Harry looked partly like he wanted to laugh, but also very, very nervous about what he had just admitted, “Yes, sir, you heard correctly”

Or Prince Harry has 46 men and 13 weeks to find the husband of his dreams, Louis has a limited amount to time to live out a royal fantasy. They might just be exactly what the other needs.

17.) waiting for the tides to meet by @nauticalleeds (59k)

Louis lets out a deep breath, thinking about Harry’s soulmate. Thinking about how Harry’s soulmate is probably as beautiful as Harry, some person that Louis cannot compare to, and how the universe has chosen them to be Harry’s. Fuck the universe. “Fuck you,” he calls out to the universe. He’s aware of how crazy he sounds.

Maybe he is crazy, with how he’s falling for Harry. And fuck that, too.

Soulmate AU. Everyone is born with heterochromia — one eye is their own eye colour, while the other is the colour of their soulmate's. It's only when they meet their soulmate for the first time that their own eyes match properly. After a hazy night at a frat party, Louis wakes up to blue eyes and the shocking realization that he had met his soulmate, without any sober recollection. Seven years pass where Louis comes to terms with the fact that he'll never know who his soulmate is. Then one fated summer, a beautiful green-eyed photographer arrives at Louis' workplace, with promises of endless laughter and a familiar feeling in Louis' heart.

Featuring a lovely cup of OT5, a road trip down the coast, and a scene where Harry eats a whole head of lettuce. Don't ask why.

16.) Call Answered by @vondrostes (249k)

The day after his 27th birthday, Harry Styles attempts suicide. Louis is flown to his bedside to unravel the mystery of why he did it after a flash drive is found with a note attached, addressed to Louis. On it are a collection of 78 songs, all written for different dates from their past.

15.) Counterbalance by @louandhazaf (44k)

Harry Styles loves two things: teaching ballet and racing motorcycles. Those two worlds collide when his greatest rival on the track, Louis “Tommo” Tomlinson brings his tiny siblings to Harry’s class.

14.) Everywhere and Nowhere by @2tiedships2 (16k)

Niall took a seat and said, "Apparently Louis' downstairs neighbor is a fan of giving Louis creepy gifts. Maybe I should go introduce myself and tell him that Louis actually prefers food."

"What has he given you?" Liam asked.

Louis shrugged as it were no big deal. "There was a rabbit's foot keychain on the door a little after he left from introducing himself and there was a small teddy bear sitting by my door tonight. Obviously I can't prove it's from him, but they seem to have his scent. I could be wrong though."

"Wow," Liam said, looking deep in thought. "That's old school."

"What's old school?" Niall asked. "Giving creepy gifts?"

"I've never known an alpha to do it, to be honest, but he's courting you."

Louis couldn't contain his look of disbelief directed at Liam. "He's courting me. Like some sort of romantic shit they'd do in the 1800s or something?"

13.) Swallow The Knife by whoknows (76k)

“You came,” Louis says, still breathless, clinging to Harry, uncaring that his sweat is getting all over Harry’s presumably clean dad shirt, or that he’s making Harry hold up all of his weight.

“Of course I came,” Harry says. He shifts, one arm curled underneath Louis’ arse, the other spreading wide in the middle of Louis’ back. “If I ignored you every time you pissed me off we would have stopped being friends a long time ago.”

Louis already knows that, of course. It doesn’t do anything to stop the pleased squirm in his belly every time Harry proves it, though. They fight like nobody’s business, both of them too stubborn to pull their punches when they’re arguing, and it used to get them in trouble, but they always make up.

Adrenaline makes Louis loose-lipped, and they both know it. He tightens his arms around Harry’s neck, buries his face in his hair. “I missed you,” he confesses, quiet. “Doesn’t feel the same up there by myself.”

12.) and oh, all of your saturdays could end up in woe by ihavetoomuchfreetime (70k)

a fic in which louis' in a long-term relationship with an abusive asshole, niall, zayn and liam are so far but not really, and harry is that all too friendly guy who works in sainsbury's.

11.) thinking about the t-shirt you slept in by @absoloutenonsense (52k)

Harry's alpha fraternity donates to a local thrift shop (because of Liam's latent crush on a cute beta in his lecture). Louis' financial situation (and confusing omega instincts) lead him to make some interesting fashion purchases. Lots of pizza, feelings, and not-really-lying.

10.) Consequences by @allwaswell16 (78k)

Two years ago Harry let his powerful family come between him and the love of his life, something he deeply regrets. Louis has tried to move on from their devastating break up. Sometimes, he even thinks he has. It only takes one moment to freeze them back in time.

An amnesia au

9.) Strawberries & Cigarettes by @dimpled-halo (76k)

Harry looks up and immediately freezes. Next to Ms. Archie stands the boy from just the other day. The boy with the leather jacket and chipped black nails, that might or might not be sketched in the very book Harry has just placed on the table in front of him. The leather jacket is missing today, probably because they aren’t allowed as part of their required uniform attire, but Harry can still see the fading black nail polish on his nails, and eyeliner around his eyes. Harry’s mouth goes a little dry. This boy is so intriguing to him.

“Ye-yes, Ms. Archie?” Harry tries to play it cool, but he’s almost positive that his cheeks are burning red, and he’s relieved neither of them can tell how fast his heart is beating in his chest.

The boy seems to also recognize Harry, because his lips curve into a knowing smirk.

“Harry is at the top of his class. He’s your best bet at getting familiar with things around here.” She explains.

Louis nods, his smirk still very prominent on his face. “Thank you Ms. Archie. I’ll be sure to take advantage of young Harold here.”

*

Summary: Two stories, eleven years, and the two boys that never stopped loving each other.

8.) Pain makes people change by Deidei (113k)

An organization called Canis Lupus existed solely for changing humans imprisoned in their wolf form back to their human form. Some people after experiencing some traumatic event can only ‘’protect’’ themselves from the pain by forgetting everything. To do that, to feel safe, they shift into their wolf form.

Which they'll be stuck in forever should no one intervene.

Louis Tomlison went through a traumatic experience at the age of twelve in which he lost his mother, to make the pain go away he shifted into a wolf and fled. He survived in the wild as a wolf for five years until Canis Lupis caught him... Though he wasn't alone, he had a pup at his side.

7.) Pretty Please (With Sugar On Top) by @angelichl (113k)

Harry is a sugar baby omega who cons rich alphas for a living. Louis is a rich alpha with too much self-control.

6.) Enemies with benefits by ssii8 (267k)

Where Harry is captain of basketball team and Louis is captain of football team and they hate each other. But somehow this doesn't stop them from having sex.

And everything is perfect until they start to feel something more.

5.) Ready To Fall by whoknows (21k)

“Ninety and rising,” Nick says triumphantly, as though making Harry’s heartbeat pick up by thrusting an obscenely attractive person in front of his face is any kind of success. “Louis Tomlinson has just walked into our control room and suddenly our dear Harry Styles has lost all ability to speak. Could this be some kind of strange coincidence?”

“I hate you,” Harry hisses, forcing his eyes back into Nick’s direction, uncaring that the mic must have picked it up. “I thought we agreed that you were going to play fair.”

“I’m sure I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Nick denies, except he’s holding up a picture of Louis’ face now, sharp cheekbones prominent, soft lashes nearly sweeping against his cheeks as he looks down, and his fucking mouth –

“A hundred and two!” Nick crows, all but clapping his hands together in glee. “The highest it’s ever been!”

“To be fair, I did bend over the desk on purpose,” Louis’ voice comes crackling in the headphones. Harry practically breaks his neck whipping his head around at the sound of it, gaping at him through the glass panel. “You can’t really blame him for getting a little excited about that, can you?”

4.) Close to Nowhere by @angelichl (34k)

“I will kill you in your sleep,” Louis threatened as he quickly stepped out of his jeans.

“I don’t think that would work very well baby, seeing as you talk to dead people all the time.”

“I’ll kill you in your sleep and ignore your ghost. And don’t call me that.”

Louis and Harry are psychics who kind of hate each other. They go to Tennessee to investigate a haunting.

3.) Play Pretend, Find a Friend? by @angelichl (40k)

They had to pull back for air. Louis surveyed the guy’s face, in awe of his blown pupils and sharp jawline, the way their shared spit glistened on his lips.

“Hi,” he breathed. He blinked, and came back to himself a little bit, blushing at his own boldness. “Sorry. Is this okay?”

The stranger removed his right hand from the curve of Louis’ waist in order to cup his jaw, tilting it up to the angle he desired. He pressed their lips together, murmuring, “Definitely.” And then he kissed harder.

When Louis sees his ex-boyfriend kissing a random girl at a party, he acts out of blind jealousy. He kisses the first guy he can find. It turns into a thing.

INSPIRED BY CLOUDS.

2.) Let Me Feel Your Heartbeat by @angelichl (34k)

Harry is 98% sure Louis hates him. So he feels like his bewilderment is justified when the omega offers to help him through his rut.

1.) All My Colours by IceQueenRia (267k)

Green… yellow… red. Red! RED!!!

Some people were born Dominant and others submissive. Sixteen year old Louis Tomlinson was a submissive and was proud to be so… until he was forced to his knees for the first time. The man before him was every subs nightmare, an abusive Dom, the kind who didn’t believe in the colour ‘red’ unless it was in the form of blood.

There were others, but Louis was the ‘favourite’ and he was the one the Dom liked to ‘play with’ the most. In fact, when the rescue team arrived, Louis was the one currently providing ‘service’ to the Dom.

Or

Louis, Zayn and Niall are abused subs. Liam Payne is their devoted new Guidance Counsellor who just wants to make Niall smile and hear Zayn speak. As for Louis, he knows his guidance won’t be enough to help the boy heal. No, Louis Tomlinson needs something very special and very specific. He needs Harry Styles.

[cordeliaflyte]

Would love to know your thoughts on the rutger bregman book when you finish it!!!

dearest merle! it took me months to answer this ask - something i'm ashamed of - but i finally got around to finishing the book today.

the below is a condensed version of the ten pages of notes i took while reading it, which are rather chaotic and repetitive at points - but in my defence, bregman repeated his own arguments too.

one of the main arguments that bregman makes is that "evil" or "immorality" - which we'll define as causing unnecessary harm - are rarely caused by the individual, but rather the society they live in. i agree - nothing exists in a vacuum. however, society, as a nebulous concept, isn't imposed on us by some imperceptible power - it is crafted by people. people in society have different levels of power, and the harm they can cause to others is directly proportional to said power - but be it on a micro or macro scale, our actions have an impact on others and while they are influenced by the society we live in, we must nonetheless strive to minimise the harm we cause - and few of us do.

bregman illustrates many of his arguments with heartwarming stories about people coming together in times of crisis - take, for example, natural disasters - and overcoming adversity, selflessly looking out for their neighbours. but crisis very often leads to the creation of divisions, an us vs them mentality, and a complete disregard for the safety of others. the current pandemic is a prime example - see the widening of class differences, the rise in racist hate crimes, and people refusing to take safety precautions because they are inconvenient to them.

another argument repeated quite often throughout the book is the fact that media cherry-picks the most sensationalistic and senseless acts of death and despair, because human suffering is simply more interesting that the mundane - people talking to friends, creating art, laughing and learning. again, i agree with him - many of the more tabloid-adjacent news outlets would have you believe that the everyday norm is dismembered heiresses being found on riverbeds and charming, precocious children being held for ransom in tiny basements. the news doesn't often focus on the mundane - but the mundane isn't just love and work and friendship and boredom and chores, it is also, for billions of people around the world, sexual violence, familial abuse, workplace and housing discrimination, etc. these things aren't sensationalistic either - they're frightfully common, frightfully boring, and thus, they're rarely reported on.

throughout his book, bregman mentions that when he told people what he was working on, they approached the idea that humans are good with a large dose of cynicism, simply because we are raised to believe humans are selfish (which isn't the case worldwide, not all cultures are individualistic). they pick the easier choice - accepting the image of the world and their fellow humans that they are presented with at face value. i'd argue that it is the tendency of humans to pick the easier choice, to obey, to avoid challenging their worldview that leads to - for a lack of better term - immorality (see definition in point 1).

often, when bregman presents his feel good stories about people cooperating in adversity, he also mentions troubling details that, again, show undue harm being done. one of the examples he used were six boys from tonga, aged 13 to 16, who were shipwrecked on an island, and instead of descending into a "lord of the flies" style madness, they built their small community on the basis of communication and cooperation, never resorting to violence, and acting mature beyond their years. after a year spent on the island, they were rescued - and promptly arrested, an event which was probably racially motivated. and the reason they were shipwrecked in the first place was attempting to flee their school, where, according to their reports, they were neglected.

bregman contrasted the example of the boys forming a peaceful society on a small island with the chaos that always ensues when adults in reality shows are put in similar situations. the contestants are pitted against each other by the show runners, who seek to frustrate them and make them lose control for the amusement of the audience. whenever contestants try to cooperate, form a mutually beneficial society for a short while - a radical idea - they are punished. "goodness" - i.e. harm reduction - and radical thought being punished just don't seem like particularly helpful examples for the "humans are inherently good" thesis

bregman seems to be a big fan of primitivism, constantly citing civilisation as a source of harm - a position i'm always sceptical about, because personally i love vaccines and dental care, but i know this is a knee-jerk reaction and bregman isn't plotting a return to a land without dentists. but what i do take ire at is the idea that humans are somehow "corrupt" versions of their natural selves and that our lives have grown too complicated, and only a return to "primitive" society can return us to the aforementioned natural selves.

tied to the previous point - his arguments remind me of the "noble savage"'... archetype? he seems to paint a picture of "primitive" indigenous people as role models for those "corrupted" by civilisation, who in turn must be saved by a return to their "purer" selves, instead of individuals with flaws and agency.

speaking on indigenous populations - bregman also invokes the inhabitants of the easter islands. for a long time, the world at large believed that a hundred years or so before colonization, the islanders effectively perpetrated a genocide, killing off a large proportion of their population - a claim which was later disproven. yay! humans can live in peaceful societies without committing genocide, and thus, are not inherently evil! disregarding the fact that european colonists later massacred a large part of the islands population, and sold most of the survivors into slavery?

i was very excited for one of the chapters, entitled "after auchschwitz". i was interested how bregman would reconcile his argument with the tragedies of the twentieth century - the holocaust, but also genocide, and to a lesser extent war in general.

(this chapter, i might add, was preceded by a quote by anne frank - you know the one, about the inherent goodness of people. i was hoping that bregman would comment on the fact that anne wrote the quote before she and her family were sent to a concentration camp)

so you can imagine my surprise when the chapter was not, in fact, about concentration camps or genocide. but rather about. unethical 70s sociological experiments.

no really! a chapter titled "after auchschwitz" was, in fact, primarily about the stanford prison experiment. an experiment that was, granted, inspired by concentration camps, but still. it's misleading to invoke "real", large scale violence, and focus instead on "simulated", small scale violence.

we all know that the stanford prison experiment was, as far as experiments go, rubbish to legendary degrees. it doesn't prove anything - but it does, perhaps, show that people under large psychological duress are capable of evil, even when they themselves are not "evil".

it is, i'd argue, the human tendency to obey authority and especially to conform to societies standards that poses the largest danger. disobedience is man's original virtue and whatnot.

and when he does briefly refer to concentration camps, bregman treats them like a very 1940s phenomenon, disregarding the fact that they have been around for much longer and still exist today.

in cases like that one experiment with electric shocks. you know the one. do not, perhaps, show an innate tendency to violence, but rather people succumbing to pressure. but history is full of unprovoked instances of violence, of pogroms and lynchings. there is usually an instigator, yes, but judging from reports, people in the right mindset don't need much persuading to butcher other people.

also re: electric shock experiment - those who thought they gave the assistant lethal shocks showed extreme guilt and some even cried but like... so what? what use is a conscience if it doesn't stop you from, to your knowledge, killing someone? are your feelings really more important than your actions?

he doesn't say this, but a lot of the arguments he presents do seem to boil down to "people aren't evil, they're just stupid!" which doesn't sound more encouraging, i'm afraid.

an alternative takeaway would be "people are good, unless they have power" - which isn't exactly a radical, revolutionary idea. most people have heard the maxim "power corrupts". but the thing is that almost everyone holds some amount power over others - the oppressed factory worker in a poor nation who works 12 hours a day for pittance might still execute power over his wife, who relies on him for money, and she in turn might hold power over her children, and so forth. and that power is often used to cause undue harm and exercise control.

he criticises machiavellianism, saying it doesn't reflect how society works, and one of his proofs is that his philosophies were espoused by bismarck, churchill, and stalin - hardly admirable figures in terms of (you guessed it!) causing harm. but i don't see how that discredits machiavelli? like all of the above were very succesful

and he keeps repeating the primitivism argument throughout the book which gets tiring. like i'm truly sorry you were born in the last 5% of human existence thus far when, in your opinion, humanity started going to the shits, but it's getting a bit tiring

he cites money and nations as concepts as harbingers of the current (negative) state of humanity, saying they're very recent concepts and have no basis in reality. they're artificial concepts, sure, but their effect is very much real, and while achieving a nation-less, money-less society is possible on a small scale, i think that at this point they are such large aspects of life that reigning them in seems impossible.

and invokes the noble savage again and again, showing himself in favour of tribal societies, depicting them as egalitarian - i'm sure many of them are, but many also have a strict hierarchy or like. practice fgm. once more he seems to treat tribal people as a monolith of goodness as opposed to... people.

he also cites prehistoric people, their egalitarianism and low rates of violence but. forgive me for my ignorance because i did not research this. how do people know. doesn't the definition of prehistory include a lack of records??

he also mentions that in small, tribal societies, conformism can be a good thing, as it makes people act for the communal good. this is another knee-jerk reaction of mine but i think of conformism as society's most significant vice, so this strikes very much against my beliefs

later on, he also says reproduction is another proof of humanities goodness. perhaps it's a controversial opinion, but i disagree. i find it hard to find reasons for reproduction that aren't egoistic. it's survival instinct, sure, but it's not an "inherently noble pursuit".

later yet, he brings up schools which grant large degrees of freedom to students and shows how they're good for developing their minds. this might be a me thing but i know from experience that when i'm granted freedom without structure, i do nothing - though perhaps that speaks ill of me, and not humanity.

there have, in fact, been many studies on schools like this being helpful to student development and i certainly won't argue with them - but let me nit-pick. bregman says that fewer students have adhd in these schools, as it is a condition caused by being locked inside a room all day which is not only offensive, but also just plain wrong

and also while showing how granting children freedom lets them develop (which i naturally agree with) he brings up that "dangerous playground" study. you know the one. this isn't a coherent argument, this is just my bias speaking , but as a child, i promise i had no desire to play with rusty nails in abandoned warehouses. i liked my boring playgrounds with wooden swings.

then there is a chapter on communism and how it could be a remedy to societies ailments. but bregman and i seem to operate on very different definitions of communism. he naturally starts with saying maoist china and stalinist russia and cambodia under pol pot weren't really communist which... sure, if you want to argue semantics, i'm all for it, but it's an old and essentially useless argument. if "real communism" has never been tried (as the author claims) - why?

and then we pass to perhaps the most bizarre fragment of the book. paraphrasing only slightly: "but why are we now so opposed to the word communism? when we pass each other salt at the dinner table, is that not communism? when we selflessly hold a door open for someone, is that not communism?" i.... no?? no it's not. that's not what communism is girl stop

he then also says facebook is actually communist in many ways since a lot of its value comes from photos people willingly share for free. i could not make this up if i tried.

i think that in most terms i agree with bregman on policy - direct democracy, school and prison systems, changes to the criminal justice system - and our reasoning is partially similar, but i don't think the information we both have access to proves that humans are inherently good.

and then come perhaps my least favourite arguments because i for one am a spiteful bitch but yes. it is time for christian ethics 101 and turning the other cheek.

he cites ghandi and mlk as examples of turning the other cheek working. i think ghandi went too far with his policy, what with saying "jews ought to have marched silently to their deaths or committed mass suicide to make nazis feel ashamed" and like. we do remember they killed mlk, right?

as an example of turning the other cheek, he cites humane prisons in norway, where prisoners are granted much larger freedoms than usual and are on equal footing with the guards, who aren't armed and act more as councillors. i don't really see how this is an example of turning the other cheek, though - the guards are not the victims of the inmates (it was a prison for violent offenders - many of them murderers). i agree with him that prisons, if they must exist, should treat inmates humanely and with respect, but i don't see how this relates to the turning of the cheek. statistically, many of these men probably murdered their mates in a drunken dispute, or killed their wives - and i don't think turning the other cheek would have helped their victims.

he also cites south africa in the sixties as an example of turning the other cheek, when anti-apartheid activists would meet up with pro-apartheid activists and talk - this included nelson mandela who had frequent talks with the leader of a white supremacist paramilitary organisation of afrikaners staunchly opposed to black south africans getting the vote. and it worked - the man, whose aim was starting a civil war, relented. but racism isn't a simple matter that can simply be solved by talking. and it is often a pragmatic policy which i don't disparage, but turning the other cheek and having to treat someone who refuses to acknowledge your humanity with an exorbitantly disproportionate amount of respect is inherently degrading.

skipping ahead, in the epilogue bregman lists ten rules he tries to live by, and one of them is, i shit you not, "don't punch nazis". and punching nazis doesn't stop them from being nazis, but turning the other cheek gets people killed

the rise of fascism is perhaps one the largest threats we are dealing with and fascists are not just isolated and misinformed (and in this day and age, ignorance is a choice). they are dangerous.

this is by no means an essay or an exhaustive list, just a slightly chaotic and much overdue collection of opinions which i don't know how to put under a read more. take care <3

[crystaljins]

River lead me home | 01

Characters: Seokjin x Reader

Word count: 9.2k

Synopsis:  Ever since coming to the human realm when you were child, nothing seems to fit, and this was just supposed to be a simple roadtrip to help you find yourself.

Is that too much to ask for?

Spin-off to A long journey home

Rating: Teens

Notes: You guys are gonna laugh... I tried to upload this yesterday but it screwed up and only the title got posted! Naturally I deleted the post and didn’t get a chance to fix everything up, but it’s finally here! My monster of a fic !!!! Updates will be weekly. Honestly this fic took a lot to write, and it’s been 8 whole months of working on it!!! So I hope you guys enjoy it T.T If not I won’t be made though LOL (edit: @blue1928​ forgot to tag u soz)

p.s. I AM working on the HP prompts I’m just really busy this next couple of weeks LOL

Masterlist

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 FINAL

You’ve never really been particularly fearful of getting in trouble with your mother. She has always been a sweet and timid lady, the kind who would let her daughter get away with murder. And you are an adult, even if you don’t act like it, and so it’s not like your mother can do anything other than express her disappointment with your actions. 

Kim Seokjin, on the other hand, can have you quaking in your shoes with just a look. He was your nextdoor neighbour growing up, even before you all fled your home realm. He has since moved out of his parents’ home into his own apartment to pursue his dream as a doctor (and to take home as many lady friends as he likes without his parents’ knowledge), but he is still very much a stern presence in your life, even as one of your closest friends. He likely feels responsible for you, since though the two of you were young when you were driven into the human world, he is three years older. He did once refer to you as something like an untrained puppy, which you guess is very reflective of how he views you. The result of such feelings of responsibility is him trying his best to fulfill all the duties of being your legal guardian despite having no obligation to do so. The effect is him being terrifyingly stern with you, despite him being a calm, good-humoured guy with everyone else he meets.

Which is why, when you wake up in a hospital bed with your leg wrapped in a cast, you know that today is the day Kim Seokjin kills you. If the job interview that you completely messed up isn’t enough motive for him to seek you out, then the fact that you tried to stop a purse snatcher and ended up breaking your leg in the ensuing scuffle after said thief’s motorcycle fell on you most certainly is. 

In your defence, it wasn’t like you could just leave them be! Yes, you had not been back to your home realm once in the thirteen years since you and every other guardian were driven out, but at your core, you like to think you are still a Guardian. And so, as is custom, you cannot turn down a plea for help. And the young woman screaming in distress as a man on a motorcycle drove past and snatched her purse straight off her shoulder had certainly sounded like a plea for help! Really, Jin should be impressed, because the ensuing chase was something straight out of a movie, what with you in hot pursuit on your own bike (the one both your mother and Jin do not know you own). And you totally would have gotten the purse back if it wasn’t for the slight motorcycle crash. You’re not exactly sure what you hit since the events are a little blurry, but whatever it was, it ended up knocking you out and breaking your leg. 

A slight commotion breaks out at the entrance to the room and by the way onlookers swoon, you know that your time on earth is up. For the only person that can stir such a reaction upon entering a room is Kim Seokjin himself. Guardians naturally fit most of the qualifiers of what humans consider attractive, but even by Guardian standards, Jin is ridiculously handsome. Even though you find him boring and the biggest nag to walk the planet, not even you are immune to his disarming good looks. You could probably sense his aura blindfolded and your eyes are always drawn to him in a crowd and so you easily pinpoint him amongst the crowd of onlookers before he spots you. Today is his day off and so he does not wear his usual doctor’s gown. Instead a well fitted button up shirt and trousers highlights the broadness of his shoulders and the elegance of his figure as he strolls through the room as if he owns it. You recognise the style- that particular combination of button up and trousers are his date clothes. Your heart plummets when you recognise the outfit. Jin will be extra irritated about having to check on you in the hospital on his day off. Why did the paramedics have to take you here of all places? You’ve really signed your life away this time.

He pauses to smile at a nurse who passes by and she is immediately dazzled. Though he is no doubt furious with you, and is frequently irritated by your shenanigans, to the rest of the world he is charming and funny and good-tempered. You watch the exchange with curiosity- the nurse laughs at something Jin says and there’s a faint flush to her cheeks. You will probably never have such an exchange with Jin- even if he relaxed enough to make a joke in your presence, it would probably be at your expense. Jin’s taste in women is very obvious- he likes women that match him in beauty, ones that are fantastic at making you feel like a potato in comparison despite your guardian heritage, however unintentionally. Something in you twinges at the thought- you wouldn’t mind having a normal relationship with Jin. One where he smiles at you and makes jokes and actually enjoys your presence. But he’ll probably never view you like that- he’s made it very clear throughout your friendship what you are to him.

The nurse points in your direction and takes Jin’s distraction as an opportunity to trail her gaze appreciatively over his figure, settling on his profile. She must be new to the hospital if this is the first time that she is experiencing what Jin’s coworkers at the hospital describe as the “Jin effect”. Any humans (and most guardians for that matter) who meet him instantly succumb to his charisma and absurdly handsome face and find themselves desperately in love. This nurse is no exception and you decide to utilise the momentary distraction she has provided Jin when she attempts to get his number by attempting to slide off your bed and scurry away.

A tug at the back of your collar has you stiffening. If this were a movie, there would be an uneasy swell of high-tension violin as you turn your head to find Jin has grabbed the back of your shirt to stop your slow escape. He must have utilised a spot of enhanced guardian speed to be able to cross the room so quickly. The violins in your head begin to screech in terror. Jin merely smiles and it is eerily charming. His cheeks puff out and his lips curl in a way that would dazzle the average onlooker but you see the lethal intent in his eyes. You barely manage to hold back a fearful shudder.

“Nurse Jo!” He calls, and his tone is playful and sweet which contrasts directly with the venom in his dark pupils. In their depths you can foresee your death. “It seems one of our patients is trying to escape.” His tone darkens and drops on the last word and you flinch, preparing for the end.

Only it never comes, and you find Jin hoisting you up by the back of your shirt and with the help of security rushing forward they wrangle you back into bed. They do well- the average human doesn’t stand much chance against the superior strength of a guardian, and you are currently fighting for your life. But with Jin in the mix, they have you strapped to your bed in no time, forced to listen to whatever longwinded and painful lecture Jin has prepared for you

He stands at your bedside, arms folded across his chest. You mentally write your will in your mind- Taehyung can have your Nintendo switch and his girlfriend can go through your clothes and take any that she likes. Your mother gets anything worth more than $20 in your bedroom (though she might be searching for a while to find such an item, if it even exists) and Seokjin can get custody of your evil cat. Maybe it’ll scratch his stupidly handsome face up and you can get revenge from beyond the grave. 

“Are you going to tell me what happened?” Jin asks, and his voice is surprisingly calm. You look away, scratching at where the cast on your leg rubs at the skin of your shin. It’s stupid to wear the cast since with your enhanced healing abilities the break will be better by tomorrow, but the doctors of this world do not know that. 

You are not fooled by the almost friendly, interested tone to his voice- there is anger bubbling behind the mask of polite curiosity. Likely he is holding back to full force of his fury because this is his workplace.

“Well, I’d like to preface by saying I had no choice. Was I supposed to just let the robber go?” You say. You were attempting to placate him before elaborating on the full story, but it appears to have the opposite effect. Jin’s eyes bulge out of his head and his face goes that interesting shade of red that only appears when he’s very, very angry. 

“Robber? You took on a robber?” He says slowly, and you can tell it takes a few moments for the words to process. But gradually, the veins in his neck bulge and his eyes gradually widen and you wince as Jin erupts into what you like to call his “jants- Jin Rants.”. “Ya! Are you crazy? What were you thinking? What if you had been killed? I would have had to tell Auntie and then I would have had to organise your funeral because she would be inconsolable! If I even survived my parents trying to kill me for letting you die at the hands of a ROBBER of all people!” The impressive thing about a jant is the speed at which it is spat out. You are sure that professional rappers have nothing on the way Jin can spill out verses in a rage. He shoves a hand through his hair in distress and the ensuing messy look it generates is unfairly attractive- you think you see a middle-aged woman swoon in the hospital bed across from yours. Or faint. It’s hard to tell in a hospital. He continues screeching. “And then they’d PROBABLY make me MOVE BACK HOME as PUNISHMENT and there goes my social life! You could have ruined MY WHOLE LIFE, (Y/N)! What is wrong with you? Why do you always go making trouble like this?” It is those words, out of his whole rant, oddly enough, that causes you to stiffen. The implication that all you do is cause trouble. Which in a way you suppose you do. You cause your mother unnecessary worry- Jin is constantly sacrificing things to take care of you. Even your friends are constantly having to shout you meals due to your perpetual state of unemployment.

“I... couldn’t just leave it- they needed help, Jin.” You admit softly. Jin somehow hears your quiet admission over his furious jant and falls silent. He stares at you in confusion for a long moment, like he was expecting more of a fight, or some sort of annoying comeback. But the confusion is enough to subside his rage. The jant is over, with minimal damage. He drags over a chair and slumps by your bedside, once more running a hand through his hair. 

“You’re so reckless. Robber’s rarely pull stunts like that unarmed! You may have enhanced healing compared to a human, but you still die if someone stabs you! And this is your third ER trip this month!” He scolds and his tone is far gentler than before- not unlike how one might speak to a child, rather than someone a mere three years younger than him. You meekly bow your head, chastised. “How do you think auntie would feel if anything happened to you, (Y/N)? You may be a Guardian, but Guardians aren’t invincible. You, of all people, should know that.”

You flinch, feeling as though he’s slapped you. He’s clearly furious with you if he’s willing to choose such a sore spot to shame you. For the thirteen years you have been in the human realm, it has just been you and your mother. You have not been able to forget that fact for a single day. Every day you awaken afresh with the reminder that there is a third member to your family who should be there but is not. Your father’s life was lost as you all fled, and your mother had found herself widowed with a headstrong young child in a foreign and unfamiliar realm. Jin’s family have always been around to help because you haven’t exactly been an easy child to raise, but there are some burdens that no one can lift from a single parent.

 And you love your mother, and you really would do anything for your her. It’s just... you don’t want to pretend that you’re a human. For your entire time here, your guise as a human has felt like an itchy, poorly fitted jacket that you want to peel off and throw away. Humans are selfish and lazy and would leave a child on the side of the road and they’d been very quick to notice that you were different and target you for it- these are all things your father hated. To be human is to spit on the sacrifice he made for you... and yet to continue to fight it is also disregarding that he gave up his life to let you live in comfort. 

Jin, with his handsome face and ability to charm anyone he meets instantly, has never had an issue settling into the human realm, and so he’s never really understood why you cling so much to your former home realm. He knows that you’ve never truly stopped grieving the life of your father, but he cannot understand why you do not see the human world the way that he does. He had very much taken to being a human and enjoys all the perks that come with it- the technology, the fawning women, the interesting and unique cuisines... Jin adores human culture. And so, it irks him that you constantly seem to be sticking out like a sore thumb. 

“I’m sorry.” You say in a small voice and you’re so downcast that you miss the way that Jin’s face crumples with guilt. 

“Just... try to be safer in the future. This realm has its own law enforcement. We don’t need to be guardians here.” He tells you softly. Then he clears his throat awkwardly. “How was the job interview?”

It’s an act of mercy- he’s trying to save you any further misery by changing the subject. Unfortunately, you have yet to break the news to Jin; you bombed the interview. Massively. It’s not like it was even a job you were that invested in. Just a fulltime job that involved doing some admin in an office. The exact, safe, boring job your mother has dreamed of for you since coming here and the exact job Jin has been pushing you to apply for because he’s sick of his parents nagging him to lend you money or take you out for dinner or give you lifts because your car broke down and you can’t afford to fix it. But you messed it up and you hate yourself for it. Hate yourself for disappointing your mother, and, if you’re really honest with yourself, for disappointing Jin. You’re already so aware of how lowly he views you and this just makes it sting that little bit more.

But it is the exact kind of job that will slowly kill you inside. You are trying to kill the part of you deep down that longs for something more. You don’t even know what it is you want. But killing that part and settling into this world and its ways and its customs mean giving in. It means forgetting. And for thirteen entire years, you have not been able to forget. How can you, when you left a piece of yourself back there, on the battlefield where your father had lost his life for your sake? He was not even given the luxury of a grave and yet you are supposed to be comfortable and post pictures on Instagram about how happy you are and go to brunch and just enjoy life? You... you can’t do it.

“I... don’t know.” You finally say. You shrug and glance away. “It felt like it went well. We’ll see if they call me back.”

Jin visibly brightens, unaware of your lie. 

“I knew I had a good feeling about today!” He says warmly. “You’re totally going to get that job, I can feel it in my bones. Finally, my parents will get off my back!” He cheers. He probably means the last part as a joke but it’s just another sting; another reminder that Jin just sees you as a burden.

His celebration session is interrupted by an alert on his apple watch. He glances at whatever notification appear and winces. He glances at you like he’s done something wrong.

“I’ve got to go. I uh… I have a date.” He confesses. Jin is always tentative when he talks about the women he sees, like he’s anticipating some sort of reaction from you. You don’t know what reaction that would be, though, and you don’t think you’d ever feed his ego with any reaction other than a mild disgust and indifference. When you just continue to stare, he nods, more to himself than you. “I still have to sort all your paperwork to make sure you can get discharged so I probably can’t stay with you for your discharge. You don’t need a lift home, do you? I’ll probably have to drive straight there.”

Normally you would accept- though your broken bone heals faster than a human’s, it is still highly painful and inconvenient. But the thought of being in the car with Jin right now is highly unappealing. For some reason, lately when you spend time with Jin, you just feel more and more aware of how inadequate you are. You can’t help but notice the way people gravitate towards Jin. The way their eyes are constantly seeking him out or how a room brightens when he steps into it. And it’s not just his looks- it’s his everything. His demeanour, his smile, his success. He has taken to the human world like a fish to water and you just can’t. It’s not like you don’t want to. But his presence, his nagging, his constant disappointment with you… it’s a persistent, painful reminder of everything you can’t bring yourself to be. Not even for him, as much as you sincerely hate constantly disappointing him like this.

He adjusts his watch as you shake your head.

“I’ll just get the bus. I can still walk.” You say, plastering a smile on your face that hopefully seems sincere. Jin glares at you and reaches out to tap a finger against the firm plaster of your cast.

“Fine, but this stays on until tomorrow. I don’t care how fast you heal- I don’t want that leg healing crooked. Your mother will definitely notice if you suddenly have an extra bend in your shin. And no more chasing robbers- not even if it’s an old grandma with a cane being robbed. We stopped being Guardians for a reason.” He warns you. He adjusts his shirt cuffs and pulls out his phone to adjust his hair in the selfie camera before glaring at you. “I won’t tell Auntie about today because I don’t want her to worry. You can stay at mine tonight, so she doesn’t ask any questions when you hobble home in a cast.”

“Thanks.” You say and he’s oblivious to the bleak tone in your voice and the way your expression is downcast. If there’s one thing that has Jin oblivious to the rest of the world, it’s the prospect of a date. “Is the code to get in still the same?”

“I changed it to your birthday because that stupid pixie that always hangs around you worked out the code and keeps leaving my sugar open on the counter. I’m getting so many ants. I’m pretty sure he’s leaving it open for them.” Jin tells you already halfway turned around. You wisely choose not to tell Jin that you had told Jungkook the code to Jin’s apartment. Jin pauses before he can stride off. “Oh yeah. Auntie texted me- she wanted me to make sure you remember to come to dinner tomorrow and that you dress nicely. She has something important to say.”

“She could have just texted me herself.” You mumble, but Jin has already walked off, probably to sort the last of your paperwork before his date. A trail of sighing onlookers watch his departure. It just makes you scoff as you return to glaring at your cast. It itches.

You make a promise to yourself to use Jin’s kitchen scissors to remove it tomorrow so that he has at least some kind of inconvenience in his life. Nothing is more irritating than a blunt pair of kitchen scissors.

++++

Despite seeing Jin’s mother every other day, and renting the apartment directly across from her, your mother always acts like the president is coming over whenever Jin’s family comes for dinner. She pulls out the fancy glass bowls and the plates she bought with her first paycheck from the diner she was employed at when you were small. She vacuums the whole apartment and checks your room to make sure you’ve cleaned it in case Jin needs a bed to nap on after a long day at the hospital. 

She’s never quite managed to get the hang of human cuisine and since the human realm doesn’t hold the magic stores available to cook Guardian food the way that she learned, you are always the one to make dinner. You’ve never once complained because you know that on some level, this is your mother’s attempt to compensate. This is the closest you will ever get to having a community with other Guardians, and Jin’s dad is the closest thing you will ever have to a father. 

But even despite her usual frantic state whenever there’s a joint family dinner, she definitely seems more frazzled than usual. 

“Is it meant to smell like that?” She asks with a grimace, leaning in to look at the salad you’ve thrown some vinaigrette over. You glance over your shoulder from where you are checking on the food in the oven. 

“Yes, mum.” You say, standing and gently nudging her from the kitchen with a smile. “It’s vinaigrette- you liked it last time when I made it, remember? It’s why I made it tonight.” 

Your mother digs her heels into the ground before you can drive her from the kitchen and send her back to wiping the already sparkling cabinets in the living room. She turns to scrutinise you carefully. 

“Are you going to do your hair? It looks a little messy.” She frets. You raise an eyebrow. This is new. Your sweet, doting mother has never once criticised your appearance, not even when you went through that phase where you had an eyebrow piercing and dyed your hair neon green. Something is up. 

“It’s just Auntie and Uncle, right?” You say suspiciously. “They used to bathe me when we lived in magregnum, mum.” You say. Using the original term for your home realm feels foreign on your tongue and your mother’s expression shutters at the sound of her original home. 

“Well, a lot has changed since then.” She says softly. You’re about to question the strange, unfamiliar expression on your mother’s face. Something looks different about her... you squint when you recognise the shimmer of your favourite eye shadow on her lids. 

“Are you wearing makeup?” You question. Her eyes go wide, and you can’t help but notice that her lashes are curled. But her answer is interrupted by the sound of the doorbell. Your mother pales and instantly she switches back into her jittery, pre-dinner self. 

“Quickly, quickly!” She urges. “Dinner’s not ready yet!” 

You shake your head with a smile at your mother’s familiar antics. 

“It’s probably just Jin- Auntie and Uncle always make him come over earlier to help.” You call over your shoulder. You’re in a far better mood than you were yesterday, particularly after bending Jin’s kitchen scissors beyond repair during your attempts to remove the cast this morning before heading out and pretending you hadn’t been fired from your part-time job the week before. You had punched one of the senior managers for bullying the new hire. Your leg was mostly healed at that stage and Jin had told you that you could take the cast off before he left for work that morning. When you arrived back home in the afternoon, your mother had either chosen not to comment on your slight limp or had been too distracted by the stress of having dinner to notice. You are glad to have evaded her sad, disappointed eyes and the unwarranted comparisons to Jin for the day.  

After a long few moments of peace in the kitchen, you can’t help but notice the lack of an annoying presence hovering over your shoulder. Usually when Jin arrives, he makes a beeline straight for the kitchen so that he can sample whatever it is you’re making and proclaim it decent (and then try and sneak some extra portions later in the evening when he thinks you aren’t looking). The complete lack of Jin’s presence to do whatever the kitchen equivalent of back seat driving is has you pausing with a sense of unease. It is the first clue that something is up- the door opens and yet the older guardian doesn’t make an appearance. Confused, you pause midway through pouring out melted chocolate from a glass measuring cup and glance over your shoulder. 

“Minyo Dolkara,” is your mother’s tentative call and your eyes widen at the term of endearment. It is a common one back in your home realm, but your mother only uses it to comfort you when she feels you are truly upset. She is knotting her fingers anxiously together and beside her stands an unfamiliar middle-aged man. He smiles warmly at you, and your gaze lands on the arm he holds carefully around your mother’s shoulder. Your grip tightens around the handle of the measuring cup. 

“Mum?” You ask, your tone laced with confusion. “Who’s this?”

Your mother swallows nervously and glances at the man in question. 

“This is... my love.” She confesses. “Nigel. We met at my night classes and I... He...”

“I’m her fiancé.” The man, Nigel corrects. He is a friendly, round sort of man. The kind of man often seen on tv playing father to a rebellious teenage daughter in a sitcom. And his smile is warm and excited, like he’s happy to meet you. He directs that smile to your mother, and rather than look disgusted or uncomfortable, she merely beams back at him.

That’s probably what this night was for, in hindsight. And why your mother was so nervous. She planned this to introduce her new boyfriend... no, her new fiancé to you, and to Jin’s family. Dimly, in the back of your mind, you register all the unusual signs about tonight. The way she’d messaged Jin to make sure you were at the dinner despite the fact that she’s never been able to bring herself to make you do anything you don’t want to.... the way she’s been commenting on your appearance despite it never having bothered her before... how long has she kept this from you? How... how could she be seeing another man?

No words form in your mouth- instead, the face of your father hovers in your mind. After thirteen years, you can’t fully recall what he looks like and you weren’t able to bring any pictures over to the human realm with you. It has been long enough that you cannot recall his face or his voice. So, in theory, why can’t your mother meet someone new? Did you expect her to live as a widow until she died, alone and far from the home realm she grew up in? Of course, you didn’t. But for some reason, this man’s presence right now leaves a bitter sting like she’s plunged a knife into your chest.

The smile drops from Nigel’s face after a few moments of you staring blankly and his smile is replaced with concern. It takes you a while to understand it is because you have crushed the hand of the measuring cup in your tight grip. It falls to the ground and shatters, followed by a few drops of blood as red rapidly spreads over your clenched fist and lands on the ground. You haven’t used your enhanced strength in so long you almost forgot you had it. 

“Fiancé?” You echo at last and though it is your own voice, it sounds distant. Like your ears are suddenly submerged under water. You don’t know what hurts you more in that moment- the painful reminder that the world is moving on without your father... or the fact that your mum has kept such a huge secret from you for who knows how long, probably because she was scared of how you’d react. “You’re engaged?”

“(Y/N),” your mother says, taking a step forward, perhaps to comfort you. She does it tentatively, like you are a beast she needs to placate. The people in your life- at least the ones who know your true identity- often approach you like that. Slowly and hesitantly, as if they don’t know how you will react. Like you are a ticking time bomb, ready to go off and cause trouble. Which in a way, you suppose you are. Things have always been difficult with you, after all. You never settled into human schooling well and you didn’t get into a good university like Jin, and you’re always getting yourself into trouble trying to help random people off the street. And your mother, your poor placating mother, is prepared to do the same thing she always does. Apologise that you had to leave your home, that the new human world isn’t to your liking, but gently remind you that it is, in fact, your real home now.  

But you do not give her the chance to feed you the same tired lines. You’re so sick of hearing this lecture. Every time you wind up in hospital because you’ve interfered with a fight or been hit by a car trying to save a random puppy, Jin gives you the same, frustrated lecture. When you fail another interview or get fired from a new job, your mother is there to try and fail to hide her disappointment that you aren’t leading the life she’d planned for you. But not this time- this is too far. You’ve been trying to squash the part of you that is a guardian for their sake for so long now, but you cannot do it for him. For this man, this stranger, who has waltzed into your home like he owns it and announced that he’s marrying your mother. As if he has a right to just join your family. You are out the door before she or Nigel can offer a word of explanation. 

You don’t see Jin until you crash into him. He steadies you with a hand planted on either shoulder. You glance up at his face, barely registering what he looks like through the blur of tears spilling forward. For a brief moment, the sight of Jin’s face (even blurred) and the familiar set of his broad shoulders fills you with relief. Even if Jin’s always viewed you as a bit of pain, he’s always been an important person to you, always ready to provide support. But then you see the look on his face.

Jin actually winces when he sees your expression. Perhaps he is realising it’s going to be one of those nights, where he sits up on the roof with you for hours and comforts you as you spill your guts. That’s how it’s always been, after all, ever since you were a small child and would run to him when you scraped your knee instead of your own parents. You would cry and he would offer some wise words mixed in with a stern reprimand and then his parents would congratulate him for being such a good influence on you. Even when you hit high school and started to realise for the first time that Jin didn’t view you with the same adoration you viewed him, he never stopped being that person for you. The shoulder to cry on, the rock to lean on. But now, he stiffens, as if steeling himself for the explanation behind your tears and he probably already has a speech half prepared in his mind. That’s the job he delegated himself, after all. To look after you, for as long as you are alive and giving him headaches. So, if it’s always been his job to do just that, why does he look like he’s just been asked to help clean a public bathroom at the sight of you in distress? 

He... he doesn’t want to deal with you. That’s why he looks so uncomfortable. 

You feel something inside you crumple. You can’t identify what feeling it is but, in that moment, you realise something. Everyone in your life... they all view you as a burden. Your mum had delayed telling you about her boyfriend until the last possible moment because your response would be difficult to handle. Jin’s parents see you as a hopeless child that their perfect son must look after. And Jin.... well you can see from the look on his face how he views you. It reminds you of a dark day, all those years ago in high school, a memory you thought you’d pushed down, and it surfaces now, before you can push it back down like you normally do. But then you set your shoulders- you were over the things Jin had said that day, and you aren’t going to allow the way that he looks right now to be the thing that resurfaces those feelings.

You shove past him. Over the past few months, you’ve been avoiding Jin more and more as your self-esteem plummeted lower and lower but today something tips over the edge for you. You don’t know how or why it happened but at some point, Jin has stopped being the person you can turn to when things get rough. And you have just realised that he no longer wants to be that person either, which hurts far more than you ever thought it could. 

“(Y/N)!” You hear him call out to you, probably shocked that you aren’t caving immediately and telling him what’s wrong- after all, there’s probably only been one time in your life before this that you’ve done so. You ignore his call though, making a beeline for the staircase, and he does not follow you. 

The place you usually go to when misery strikes is the rooftop of your crappy apartment building. You’ve spent countless hours up on the rooftop, watching the sky. It’s oddly therapeutic- the thing you used to miss most when first moving to this realm was the stars. Back home, they sparkle different colours like precious stones scattered across black velvet. Here, the smog of humans blocks their stars from the sky. But the brightest stars are somewhat visible on clear nights and they are the closest reminder you have of home. That’s probably why you have chosen the roof as your refuge. Since beginning to take refuge here when things go bad, you’ve accumulated a small collection of old furniture from whenever your mum goes on a redecorating spree. 

What has resulted is a comfy little corner of the world you can call your own, away from everyone else. No one else seems to use this place, even if the rooftop is accessible to everyone in the complex, but that suits you just fine. It’s perfect for curling up and wallowing, much like you are desperate to do right now. There are a lot of confusing, painful emotions swirling around inside you, ones that you aren’t really sure how to deal with or process. 

You slump down against the old picnic blanket you have stretched across the floor and let your head collapse against an old cushion your mum threw out years ago and peer up at the sky. Wincing, you idly pick out pieces of glass from your hand and watch the skin seal over almost immediately as you wonder if the sky really as beautiful back home as your memory tells you it was. Or, do you just want to believe things were better in the other realm? You’re not really sure but it really would be nice to go back. Not forever- as much as you hate to admit it, your family is here now, which makes this realm your home. But you want to see the place you came from. You want to see the stars and the valleys and the rivers. The night before you and your mother fled, your father had told you that everything about Magregnum would change by the time you were old enough to go back, except the landscape. Mountains cannot move, after all. A part of you longs desperately for that- to see the things that will not change and the landscapes that could not leave your father behind. The only reminders that you aren’t just a random human washed up in the bleakness of life, but a guardian. Something special and precious. Something better than what you feel like you are.

An annoying buzzing in your ear breaks the bubble of your pondering. You blink a few times and then sigh, turning your head to the side. A small figure, no taller that the height of your handspan, stands beside you with his arms folded. Small, insect like wings flap so rapidly they are little more than flashes, catching the light of the fairy lights you’d strung across the fencing of the rooftop a few weeks ago. The figure tilts his small head to the side and at this proximity you can see the way he frowns. He always has the oddest tendency to pop up whenever you are alone and miserable and likely he is displeased to find you in such a state yet again.

“Do you ever do anything other than sulk?” The creature asks. He is a pixie, as you know from your first interaction where he had very indignantly informed you that no, he is not a cross between a mosquito and a human in-between your attempts to squash him with a fly swatter. You grimace. 

“No.” You snap, rolling onto your side to face away. Alas, the small pixie merely lifts easily into the air and sails over your face like he’s an Olympian performing high jump. He lands neatly in front of you once more and grins. 

“What happened this time?” He asks, settling down into the picnic blanket cross legged. He plants an elbow on either knee and rests his chin in his hands. The buzzing of his wings slows to a gentle flap, which allows you to discern the thin, silvery veins that lace across the delicate membranes of his wings. You’ve always secretly thought it a shame that Jungkook is just a pixie, given his handsome face and charming nature, but being a human would mean the loss of his gorgeous wings. “Did Jin ground you again?”

“He’s never grounded me before.” You snap defensively. “And even if he did, it’s not like I would listen to him. He’s not my parent.”

Jungkook shrugs, leaning back to press his weight into his hands and stretching his legs out in front of him. 

“Yes, you would.” He points out. “You always complain about Jin, but I know you always do what he says.” 

You purse your lips and sit up. Jin is one of the last people you want to talk about right now. Jungkook stands up too, launching himself into the air so that he can settle on your knee. 

“So what did Jin do this time? Change the code to his apartment again? Find out about your motorbike? Treat you to dinner?” Jungkook questions eagerly. You’ve never seen the pixie interact with another living being other than you, Jin or Taehyung (and on occasion your mother) and he had sadly informed you that he was the only one of his kind in this realm when you first met thirteen years ago. So, you have a theory that he lives out his need for drama and gossip and social interaction vicariously through you. It’s the only way to explain his constant interest in your life and the things that are making you sad. 

“It wasn’t Jin.” You finally admit, lifting your gaze once more to the sky above. “Why are you even here anyway? Did you run out of YouTube dance covers to copy?”

Jungkook nods and settles down beside you. “It’s all pointless after a while.” He says forlornly. “It’s not like humans can see me. Only guardians will ever see me dance and they don’t care. I figured I might as well talk to one sentient being before I go crazy. The moths just aren’t great conversation partners these days.” He pauses. “So, are you going to tell me what’s bothering you?”

Jungkook’s confession has your resolve crumbling. Sometimes it is easy to forget that you, Jin and Taehyung are the only people Jungkook can mix with, as a pixie in a human world. Even if humans could see him, the government would probably deport him back to the other realm the second it found out he was threatening exposure of magical beings to humans. A strange sadness on his behalf overcomes you and that is the thing that makes you willing to confess what’s bothering you. “It was... my mother.”

Jungkook is silent and when you glance down at where he is seated upon your knee, he is also gazing in wonder at the sky above. He doesn’t press further but you still somehow feel compelled to share. 

“She’s engaged.” You admit and the words feel oddly piercing amongst the soft hum of city traffic. They hang in the cool night air and suddenly the warmth of the night seems stifling rather than comfortable. 

“I thought the Q’uvar were happy when that sort of thing happened? Don’t you all have those huge festivities in your village whenever a marriage ceremony happens?” Jungkook questions. The natural way the original term for your people rolls off his tongue testifies to his origin- despite him living in the human realm, there is no doubt he comes from Magregnum, just as you do. Even when you were living in the other realm, your people would refer to themselves as guardians. Only the really old-fashioned members of your race would use the language that had slowly died out over the years as the common tongue became the norm. Not for the first time, you are curious about Jungkook and where he popped up from. Jungkook turns to look at you and tilts his tiny head. His inky black hair flops to one side with the motion. “Shouldn’t you be happy that your mother is engaged?”

The unintentional reprimand slaps you across the face and you wince. In theory, you should be thrilled that after so much difficulty and hardship settling into this realm, your mother has found a source of happiness. She has worked so hard on your behalf to make sure you grow up safe and secure in this foreign realm and so the least you can do to repay her is to be happy when she is happy. But the niggling fear that always chases you holds you back. It’s a fear of change- of the way life seems to move too fast for you to catch up. Here you are, stuck in the past when even your own mother has managed to move on and build a life for herself. 

“I should be.” You answer softly. You lift your knees and hug them close to your chest- Jungkook falls off with an indignant squawk. Moments later he rises in the air until he is eye level with you- even the buzz of his wings seems irritated. 

“Well then, why aren’t you?” He asks, but the tone of his voice implies that his patience has been lost with you. Since the moment of meeting you all those years ago, Jungkook had assigned himself as a sort of pseudo-counsellor and confidante, but it does not mean he enjoys the position. No, more often than not, he is annoyed and puzzled by your seemingly trivial problems. You kind of enjoy such an attitude though- it makes the things that feel insurmountable to you become small and insignificant. Jungkook makes you feel like problems can be overcome. This time, however, his dismissive attitude has you feeling worse. 

“Because I’m homesick.” You admit miserably. “Why does everyone seem to settle in here so well? Why am I the only one struggling? Why could everyone leave things behind so easily? How can they just pretend that they’re humans, and completely ignore the fact that they are Guardians?”

You press the palms of your hands against your eyes and release a long exhale. No one has followed you up here, after you rushed out like that. Who even knows what state your mother’s dinner is in? Hopefully she remembered to get everything out of the oven. Are they having fun without you? Is Nigel charming them, winning them over, getting them excited about the possibility of a wedding? Are they… are they really happy, in this realm? “Do you ever think about going back?” You question, after a long moment of silence. You drop your hands from your eyes.

“Sometimes.” Jungkook admits. “I wonder what it looks like now. Taehyung says it’s largely the same, it’s just the cultures and people that change.” 

You stare out across the ugly concrete buildings that the rooftop view provides you. In this realm, everything moves fast and changes quickly. In the blink of an eye, a new building can pop up down the road or an entire family can move away from their twenty-year-old restaurant and close it without any warning. Back home, you remember things being steady and unchanging. Every morning, you would rise to the same mountain ranges, to the same fringe of forest, to the same river song. The only guardian you know who has gone back is Taehyung, and he validates that impression- forests and mountains do not change. 

“I wish I had half Taehyung’s courage. I want to go back.” You confess.

Jungkook hugs his knees into his chest and mirrors your position beside you. 

“What would it achieve?” Jungkook asks curiously. You shrug, picking idly at a stray thread on your jeans. 

“Hopefully something.” You say. “I feel like I’ll never know what could happen if I don’t take the risk. I just… I feel like it’s calling me. It doesn’t want me to forget what I am. This realm doesn’t suit me because this isn’t my realm. Maybe I’ll find a place that fits over there.”

Jungkook nods sagely. A moth flaps past him and he smiles at it as it goes past.

“And what would you do once you’re there?” He questions. It does not take you long to give an answer. You’ve had this adventure mapped out in your mind since you were a miserable, homesick eleven-year-old.

“My dad used to have this phrase. “The river loves those who take the plunge.”. He’d always say it in the old tongue, and apparently it was an old guardian phrase that meant sometimes taking the risk was worth it. But apparently the phrase comes from a river to the east of our home. Dad said that the river is home to a special migrating plant, and it lights up and looks like shooting stars. They call it ‘the dancing river’. He promised to take me there, one day when the war was over.” You explain. “If rivers and mountains don’t change… then that’s that last piece of him I can find in that realm.”

“And that’s what you want to see, if you go back?” Jungkook asks. You nod and shift your position to the side of some old drawers you had rescued from your mother’s bedroom. Inside are a bunch of wrinkled old papers that you pull out and show him. 

“Taehyung always brings me back a map whenever he gets back from over there to show me how things have changed. Look.” You point at a small blue line that trickles across the painted landscape of the map. The label is written in the common tongue. “River of stars” it says in sleek cursive. You know from matching it up with an older map that the name has changed but it’s the same river your father told you about. “It’s only a five-day hike from the portal.” You point at a small mark on the map- this has Taehyung’s writing scribbled on it, marking the join between the human realm and the magical one. “I could go and just... get it out of my system. See the river. Like a road trip but in another realm.” 

Jungkook flutters over to peer at the small distance between the river in question and the portal on the map. 

“I just have to go once. Just once. And see it- see the places he loved. And then I’ll settle into this realm and get the boring job Jin and my mother want me to have and marry an equally boring human. I’ll go to her wedding and watch her pretend like my dad never existed and like I’m not a Guardian.” You tell him. “I... we didn’t even get to say good-bye, Jungkook.” 

Your voice cracks and Jungkook glances up at you in surprise. You rarely open up about your father to the pixie but he’s always curious when you do, like you’re sharing the story of an ancient war hero. Which in a way, he is. Though the war is fresh and recent in your mind, over a thousand years have passed back home, since your people roamed freely there.

“We just got word that he was dead, and we had to go, or we would be too.” You tell him, recalling the way Jin’s father had woken you two up in the middle of the night, pale as a ghost and drenched in your father’s blood. You remember running a lot that night and clinging to your mother’s hand. You had tripped and scraped your knee and you hadn’t been able to cry. And when you reached the human realm, your mother had shed a single tear and then shouldered on into your new life. No time or space to grieve. Not when there was so much uncertainty ahead. “No funeral or anything. I just... I want proof, that he was alive. I want to see the places he saw and just... I want to get a chance to say goodbye. I never even got to tell him that I love him one last time.”

Jungkook holds a hand to his chin as he ponders your words and then he looks at you. Though he is small, you can make out the dark colour of his eyes. His expression is soft and gentle. It reminds you of the look Jin used to give you when you’d come up here because the kids had made a mean comment about you not understanding their weird meme jokes or you were sad because you’d seen a kid hanging out with his father. Back before Jin had lost his patience with you, when he just got that the reason you couldn’t settle in was because of the cost it took to get to this realm safely. 

“You know it wouldn’t bring him back, right?” Jungkook asks softly. “Everything you knew about that realm faded thousands of years ago. You won’t find home there anymore than it is here. And it won’t stop your mother from getting married.”

“I know.” You answer forlornly. “But maybe things will be better if I just get to… acknowledge what I am. Even if it’s only for five days.” Jungkook stares for a long moment and then nods, his shoulders set with sudden determination. 

“Then let’s go.” He announces. You blink in surprise at his proposition. 

“Go?” You echo. He nods and straightens, planting on hand on his hip and pointing the other directly at you. 

“I am the first person to point out that you’re spoiled and selfish.” Jungkook reminds you, which has you wincing. “You don’t even know how lucky you are, to have so many people who love you. Do you know what I would give to be human? To have a friends and family like you do? And every day you spit on it. If this is what it takes for you to finally be content, then do it.” 

You frown and look away from him. 

“I don’t want to go when you put it like that.” You say, resenting the slight way your voice wobbles with hurt. You feel the slight tickle to your cheek and find Jungkook has pressed his tiny hand comfortingly to the side of your face. 

“Don’t be hurt.” He says softly. “I do know why you’re struggling.” He offers you as comfort. “And I do understand why it’s so hard. To live amongst humans every day and pretend like none of the terrible things that went down over there really happened. But in focusing on the things you’re missing, you’re missing out on the things you have.” He explains. “So, let’s go, (Y/N). Let’s go see the Dancing River and find the peace you’re looking for.”

You stare at Jungkook for a long time, before offering the slightest nod. He’s right. What’s the use of waiting and hoping and holding out for something? Why not just go and find out if seeing this river will solve any of your problems? The river loves those who take the plunge, after all.

“Let’s go, Jungkook.” You agree, with the faint hint of a smile on your face.

What you don’t see, as you converse with Jungkook, is Jin slowly closing the door to the rooftop, first aid kit in hand. He gives one last glance at the doorway, wondering if he should join you and Jungkook before shaking his head with a sigh. He turns around and makes the slow trek back downstairs with a troubled expression on his face.

[queen-of-my-goofball-army]

An Ode To Miyazaki:

Hi everyone! So for my final paper for film, we had to pick our own director of our choosing and talk about them extensively between the attributes that make them special. Our course focused on the narrative and technical styles of directors. For my final project, I have chosen my biggest hero in the world of animation and somebody that drastically changed my life as a young child, Hayao Miyazaki. Learning about him for this project gave me so much insight into not just his films but who he is as a person. I hope that my paper is as interesting for you to read as it was for me to do research for!

1. Hayao Miyazaki, often referred to as the Japanese Walt Disney is the front runner of his animation studio Studio Ghibli. I picked him because I already have sufficient knowledge and love of his films. One of the first memories that my parents love to remind me of is my first time watching Totoro and laughing at the introduction characters. Miyazaki himself stands out for a number of reasons. Over the years, Miyazaki has made a humongous name out of himself, one of his most famous movies Spirited Away became the most popular film to ever be released in Japan and also won the academy award for the best-animated film that year. His most “popular” films (I say popular in air quotes because it is nearly impossible for people to agree on a favorite) remain the aforementioned Spirited Away, My Neighbor Totoro, Howl’s Moving Castle, and Princess Mononoke. Beginning his career as a simple animator for Toei animation, he worked as an in-between artist. It was here that he met his future collaborator at Ghibli, Isao Takahata. His first big directorial debut in film before founding Ghibli was a team effort without Takahata was Lupin The Third, The Castle Of Cagliostro. His first successful movie was one that was based upon his own manga Nausicaa of the Valley Of The Wind. The first official Miyazaki movie that was made with Ghibli was one of my personal all-time favorites that had ever been created, Castle In The Sky. For many children, especially ones with parents who are lovers of a film like mine, Miyazaki was one of the first animators that I was introduced to. His films have become classics for every fan of animation, being referenced in culture, specifically back when Disney owned Studio in Toy Story 3, Bonnie has a Totoro.

2. So, this brings up the question, how does one recognize a film by Miyazaki? You can always expect for him to be critically acclaimed, for there to be some element of magic and whimsy in the way that he animates, for there to be something to do with flight (whether it be dealing with airplanes like in Porco Rosso, the idea of flight in Howl’s Moving Castle, or a floating castle up in the sky in Castle In The Sky.), his heroines are always strong-minded and live by their own rules never bowing down to anybody, his love stories are dynamic and fulfilled, a sweeping score by Joe Hizashi, and they have a meaning about nature somewhere, mostly about why it needs to be protected.

Let’s start by breaking him down narratively. The thing that is always in every Miyazaki film no matter which one you decide upon watching, is that his female characters are always strong-willed no matter what. In many ways, I think that he writes women better than Disney does. He has gone on record saying “Many of my movies have strong female leads—brave, self-sufficient girls that don't think twice about fighting for what they believe with all their heart. They'll need a friend, or a supporter, but never a savior. Any woman is just as capable of being a hero as any man.” Sometimes, this will cause them to come across as reckless, or stupid, but in my opinion, I have always looked up to his female characters and the way that they are portrayed. My personal favorite female character that he has ever brought to life through the screen is Sophie from Howl’s Moving Castle. She is strong-minded, not willing to put up with any of Howl’s dramatics, kind, an incredible adult figure for Markal, endlessly sympathetic to her friend’s plights (namely Howl and Calcifer), and somebody that I can always look up to. I spent most of my childhood looking up to characters like Kiki in Kiki’s Delivery Service, Chihiro in Spirited Away, or one of my personal favorite underrated girls, Fio in Porco Rosso. All of these female characters are independent and never let themselves be taken advantage of by anybody.

Another trait that can always be found narratively in his films is that Miyazaki is an airplane/ air travel fanatic. He absolutely loves airplanes, even to the point where his latest film, The Wind Rises was based upon the life of one of the first airplane manufacturers in WWII. Almost all of his films will involve something about flying in the air. Even with the ones that he didn’t direct and he just simply wrote. His obsession with flight is something that stemmed from his childhood and he never saw them as a thing to be used for war “airplanes are not tools for war. They are not for making money. Airplanes are beautiful dreams. Engineers turn dreams into reality.” My personal favorite of all of his flight animation is used in Howl’s Moving Castle when Howl and Sophie “fly” over the heads of all the people below them.

Narratively also one of the biggest things that set apart his films from any others is his focus on nature. The idea of protecting the beauty of nature is something that he has always stood by. A lot of the time, America tries to prove that it can make films about nature as well to usually varying results. I think that nobody can sell an environmental message quite like my biggest hero for Japanese animation. One of the main movies that focus on his will to protect nature above all else is Princess Mononoke. He always manages to animate nature in such a beautiful and majestic way no matter where the film is set.

I also think that a narrative trait of his that often gets overlooked is how beautiful the romance in his films can be. He never has a romance between two characters that feels stale or boring. I love the fact that you can pick any number of his films and the chance of there being a romance that you’ll get sucked into is a very large one. Everybody has their personal favorites, I love Howl and Sophie from Howl’s Moving Castle but my best friend loves Sousuke and Ponyo from Ponyo. He has on record saying that “I’ve become skeptical of the unwritten rule that just because a boy and girl appear in the same feature, a romance must ensue. Rather, I want to portray a slightly different relationship, one where the two mutually inspire each other to live - if I’m able to, then perhaps I’ll be closer to portraying a true expression of love.” Writing romance between two characters can be a very tricky thing which is why it’s always amazing when he can continually pull it off despite everything and how many films that he has made over the years. The beauty of having both a strong and independent male and the female character is that they can both lean on one another for love and support. Probably the biggest supporter of this is Whisper Of The Heart, a film that he wrote instead of directing. The romance is what makes up the entire film. It’s a beautiful love story about how two young teenagers fall in love with each other. The romance is something that continually keeps me coming back for more every time.

Technical style Miyazaki can always be assured to deliver breathtakingly stunning animation. There is a reason why so many people leave his films starving because the food that he draws always looks so good. For me though, it’s the backgrounds that stand out above all else. It’s nearly impossible to have one favorite shot in one of his films but I as a matter of fact do have one. The most breathtaking animation in any Miyazaki film is the scene where Howl takes Sophie to see his secret garden. Everything about this scene never fails to make my breath catch. It’s such a profoundly beautiful moment and how it is animated is something that I haven’t forgotten since my first initial viewing of the film when I was seven.

Another iconic technical trait is that Disney did a fantastic job dubbing the films from their original Japanese language into English. Back when Ghibli films first started to become popular, they needed a way for an American audience to see them. So Pixar’s CFO at the time, John Lassater made a deal with Ghibli that they would dub all the films from their original language for a brand new audience. Growing up, this was how I watched all of Miyazaki’s films. I fell in love with the way that they sounded in English. To this very day, I have yet to see one of his films in any other language. I don’t think that anybody could have dubbed them better. Ever since Ghibli and Disney went their separate ways and they went to GKids the dubs haven’t been the same.

Finally, the last technical trait is that a Miyazaki film will always have a score done by his longtime collaborator Joe Hizashi. The score is such a big part of what makes Miyazaki’s films his own. They are what get you sucked in through their whimsical and magical tones; they always fit the vibes that he’s going through at that moment. There is also the element of sound. Every Miyazaki film has a distinct sound effect that will set it apart from the one before it.

3. The first film that I want to look at is my personal favorite of all his films that he has made so far if you were to force me to pick just one Howl’s Moving Castle. Released in 2004, it was the 9th film that the director came out with. It has an 8.2 out of 10 on IMDB and an 87% on Rotten Tomatoes. The storyline for the movie follows a young woman named Sophie. She gets a curse set upon her by the Witch of the Waste and when she leaves home she finds the infamous Howl’s Moving Castle. This is the second Ghibli movie voiced by a Batman live action actor. Christian Bale voiced Howl Pendragon after Michael Keaton played the titular Porco Rosso.

Narratively this is definitely a Miyazaki film. From how strong of a female character Sophie is I spent most of my childhood looking up to her as a character. Strong female characters are everywhere in his films and in my opinion, Sophie is one of the strongest. Another strong factor is that flight plays a major part in this film. One of Howl’s main powers is that he has the ability to fly around. This leads to my favorite scene of flight in any Miyazaki film when Howl takes Sophie’s hand and they “fly” over the tops of the city down below them. All of his early films up until the last few were set in someplace other than Japan. This one is set in Europe, and he takes a lot of time while in the cities to show off all the different types of buildings while Sophie tours around the city.

Technically speaking this is also a Miyazaki film and holds all the titular traits of being so. The animation is utterly for lack of a better word, magical and spellbinding. It takes my breath away every time that I rewatch it. The food looks incredible, one scene that most of Miyazaki’s fans always think of when this movie is brought up is Calcifer making the food for Howl, Sophie, and Markal to eat. The dub for this film is also one of Disney’s best dubs for Miyazaki films. It even brings actors to the table that I usually would not like to see in other films like Christian Bale. I haven’t loved him in any other films than this one. Billy Crystal is a stand-out as well as my favorite fire demon Calcifer. The score is done by Joe Hizashi as well. My favorite part of the score is the main theme which has Howl and Sophie floating above the people below. The sound effect that follows throughout this film is the steady creaking of the castle itself.

Princess Mononoke was the first time that Miyazaki ever “retired”. Most of the time, whenever he tries to retire, he always comes back. A lot of his colleague's joke that it’s because he physically can’t stop working. He animated most of this movie by himself. Before Spirited Away it was Japan’s most famous film to date. The story about a young man who is just trying to erase the curse that was set upon him by an angry boar and it leads him to a place called Iron Town is something that never fails to amaze me. While in Iron Town, Ashitaka meets a young woman named San who was taken in by wolves and he finds himself caught between a war involving humans and the gods of the forest.

Narratively this is definitely a Miyazaki film. It has a strong female lead, focusing most of its screen time on how important it is to protect and preserve nature as a whole. The idea of protecting nature is such a moving part of the film, as we see what it does when man takes over the forest. We see how distraught it makes the Gods of this world and how they wish that the humans would just go away. However, you also see it from the point of view of the villain of the film Lady Eboshi, who also regularly helps lepers and people who would often never get work outside of her offering them a home and a family. I have regularly gotten into a debate with my mom over which side is “right” and which side “wrong” over the course of the last few years of me being a massive fan of this movie. She takes the side of the forest while I see Ashitaka’s side that everybody should just get along and interact in peace and harmony. Miyazaki never shoves the idea of nature down your throat. That is not what this film is. It’s instead about the beauty of what we have and learning to appreciate it.

On a technical level, this film is fantastic as well. It blows my mind that Miyazaki-san animated most of it all by himself. The backgrounds are sweeping and utterly gorgeous showing off the time period of the film. The fight sequences which make up the bulk of the film’s running time are engaging, thrilling, and fabulously animated. Mononoke’s score was done by Joe Hizashi as well. Its score is beautiful and I always find myself getting sucked into it, especially for the more dynamic scenes with Ashitaka and San. The sound effect for this film uses nature as a backdrop for brutality. Ashitaka’s arrows don’t just come out of his bow, they screech through the air.

Finally, my last film that we will be focusing on, Kiki’s Delivery Service was made in 1989 a year after his cult phenomena My Neighbor Totoro and was his fifth animated feature. Kiki is a young girl that is hoping to become a young witch in training. However, to do so she has to train a year away from home. She and her cat Jiji find a town by the sea where she learns her true strength and what she can really do to help others. Hayao Miyazaki didn't want to bore the audience during the film's end credits by using just the names. He set it up to be like a mini-sequel so that the audience would leave the theatre feeling happy.

Narratively this has all the traits that one should be familiar with and associate with a Miyazaki film. It has a strong-minded female character at the source of it that young girls can look up to and admire. As a kid, Kiki was my favorite female character of his because I loved her strength and her dedication to what she was good at. She knew that she was still young and had a lot to learn but even though she gets depressed she doesn’t let that stop her in the long run and will still save her love interest Tombo. The romance in this film is by far one of the sweetest. I love the interactions between the characters and the way that they both inspire one another to be better than they are. The idea of flight is basically the focal point of everything. Kiki finds that her best trait is that she flies incredibly well and decides to create her own flying delivery service.

Technically this also has a lot of traits that Miyazaki made a name for himself in doing. The animation is spectacular, especially for Kiki’s flying. I could watch her fly around all day and that was the idea that he was going for while making the film. The sweeping score by Joe Hizashi, especially in my favorite song A Town With An Ocean View, is something that I’ll often listen to outside of the film itself. The sound effects for the film are meant to be calming. From the first sound that you hear of the wind rolling through the reeds while Kiki lies against the grass to the waves when she finally finds a home.

4. Miyazaki as a director has inspired me since I was way too young to even remember. When I was a kid I would pretend to run around my apartment building's front yard imagining that I lived in a big house in front of a camper tree like the one in Totoro. His movies are perfect for children that “suffer” from having an overactive imagination. His movies are everything that is bright and beautiful in the world. The animation never fails to take my breath away, the characters and stories are unforgettable, the soundtracks sweep me away and tell stories themselves. His movies are something that even my parents, who are not anime fans, can watch over and over again. I think that speaks for itself. Miyazaki makes films that are art, not just animated films.

[five-hxrgreeves]

I Won’t Back Down - Five Hargreeves x OC

Word Count: 1,982

You can stand me up at the gates of hell But I won't back down I'm gonna stand my ground Won't be turned around And I'll keep this world from dragging me down

1 |  2  | 3 |  4 |

Pt. 3- Monday, April 1, 2019

The morning of the first dawned with a bright blue sky and perfect spring temperatures, almost in  mocking irony of the fate it would meet later on that same day. Suspecting nothing amiss, Lola began her usual morning routine of getting ready for school. After brushing her teeth, she went to her closet and decided on a pair of jeans, a white, long-sleeved v-necked shirt with black polka-dots and after brushing her hair, hesitated over a choice of hats that she owned. While there was no strict dress code at her school, she did like to make a good first impression on Mondays. The rest of the week was up for grabs.

Coming to a decision, she reached for a yellow hat with a navy-blue ribbon around the crown that was tied in a bow and placed it jauntily on her head. The brunette was somewhat known around school for her unique accessories so she’d only been indecisive over which style she’d wanted, not actually whether or not to wear a hat. She then pulled on a pair of riding-styled boots and picked up her backpack, sliding her deck of cards into the back pocket of her jeans. Lunchtime was usually a boring affair so it was often when she would practice her magic- sometimes with a crowd to entertain.

On her route to school, Lola passed the familiar Umbrella Academy house and wondered what transpired within the walls, remembering the strange man she’d met the previous week. She wondered how long it had been since all of the siblings had seen each other since from Vanya’s book, it hadn’t seemed like they’d lived under the same roof for a long, long time. A smile flickered across her face as she thought of grown-up superheroes attempting to act like real siblings and the interesting, chaotic bickering that might ensue.

(Of course, she had no idea that such arguments might result in the end of life on earth.)

After that, the day passed as it usually did, with millions and billions of people completely unaware of what the night would bring.

--

Once dinner was over, Lola scraped her plate clean and set it in the dishwasher before turning it on to run, blatantly unaware that this would be the last time she did such a mundane action for a long, long time. Then, she made her way into the family room where her mother, father and uncle were sitting on the couch about to watch TV. Both men had their traditional after-dinner drink of two fingers of whiskey while her mother sipped on spiked hot coffee.

“Mom?” Lola asked.

“Yes, dear?”

“I’m going to the basement now, all of the dinner dishes are cleaned up.”

Her mother’s blue eyes- the ones she’d inherited- flicked to the younger girl, “alright, but don’t stay up too late. It’s a school night, you know.”

Her uncle grinned, “yeah,” he said, breaking to take a sip from his glass, “wouldn’t want you to show up all grumpy for school tomorrow.”

Lola sighed and nodded in acceptance, “alright, I’ll do my best,” she said, knowing it was more than likely she’d lose track of time anyway.

Moving first towards her mother, then father and finally her uncle, she gave them each a goodnight hug and exchanged their daily I love yous.

(She would be grateful that these were the last words she’d ever said to her family. At least she wouldn’t have to live wondering if her family had known she’d loved them.)

Then, she went to the basement.

Not even a mile away, the beginnings of an altercation were occurring at the house the size of a single block where the seventh, disregarded member of the family of superheroes was receiving a hostile welcome at the introduction of her new boyfriend, Leonard Peabody.

--

Lola liked her basement. It wasn’t terribly large but it wasn’t terribly small, either. Half of it was unfinished and the other half was lived-in, creating a perfect balance. In the unfinished side, metal shelves that one might see in a hardware store stood floor-to-ceiling with various tools and stored holiday items. Paint cans, electric machinery, extension cords and other items one would normally find in a shed were scattered haphazardly along the shelves.

In the other half, a carpeted floor of some green color stretched from the back wall to right before Lola’s writing desk. On top of it sat an old, brown-leather couch, a black wooden coffee table from IKEA and a TV hung mounted on the wall. After the carpet ended, removable foam-padded tiles formed the floor. This was the area where Lola’s desk sat which was a large, white table. The desktop itself was almost empty except for her half-filled notebook, three different-sized candles, a pencil sharpener and a pencil holder. Her papers- both for school and other things- were stored in a hand-me-down brown file cabinet that stood to the left of her workspace.

Before sitting down to write, the brunette carried out her ritual warm-up: lighting the candles, flipping to the next available page, sharpening her pencil and placing her reference books on her desk- The Book Thief, of course, and her new book from Vanya Hargreeves. Then, she pulled her deck of cards from her back pocket and placed the rectangular box carefully on the lower-left corner of her desk, making sure to match up the corners of the box with the outlined shape created by the corner. She wasn’t sure why she did this, it just was something she absolutely had to do before she finally sat down.

Once finished, Lola made sure to flip the electric lights off and returned to her seat which was a rolly-chair with one broken wheel. She began to write surrounded by her small pool of glowing, flickering light.

Today’s memory is from when I was six. (Note to self: find a better opening.) It was my first time at the store for hours on end. Usually, a babysitter would come by and pick me up but I suppose she cancelled. (NtS: get more details. Just kidding, nobody cares about that.) Anyway, I was super bored and since I was little, I didn’t have any schoolwork to do. I wandered around the store for a bit, probably causing mischief. Anyway (you already said that, dummy) the funny part is that I sat down at a group of mannequins because there weren’t any other seats and I must’ve sat so still that everyone thought I was one because when I finally stood up, a woman screamed. I didn’t know why at the time but it happened again when I was older. Then I started doing it for my own amusement. It was funny to see people think that I was a fake, plastic doll only to realize I was actually real. Sometimes, I even went to the back and dressed in clothes that would soon be modeled by the mannequins- although I think the effect was ruined because I didn’t fit them.

--

A story up and a block over, the altercation had grown to a full-blown verbal assault, the main four members of the family heatedly questioning the new boyfriend’s insistence on them coming to their sister’s concert. The seventh member, feeling hurt and angry that her family wouldn’t, just once support her, felt the tension build up within her, her emotions unusually high from the lack of medication she’d consistently taken for years until this week.

--

The spot was also great for people-watching. While Gimbel Brothers has mostly ordinary clients, there are some cases that are more noteworthy (NtS: fix wording, sounds awkward). There are many people who bring children to the store as well. On Mondays, there is an average of twelve children, usually after school. The number varies throughout the week until Saturday where there are usually fifteen or twenty. One time, as an outlier during the holidays, there were twenty-five. I know this because I counted them. I don’t usually do it intentionally and I’m sure I miss some customers but for some reason, all the numbers stick in my head. The funny thing is, I’m terrible at math. I’m also really good at cards, though. I’ve never lost a game of War or Go Fish. My uncle says I’m a counter, which I suppose is true. I’ve also counted all the sequins on one of our formal dresses, just for fun. There were two-hundred and eighty-six.

--

As the sky grew dark outside, the argument in the large house had reached an all-time high with Leonard Peabody outwardly insulting his girlfriend’s largest brother, inciting his anger and riling him up purposefully, causing him to throw the first punch. The seventh member of the family desperately tried to pull her boyfriend away, to save him from an assault that he would surely not survive. She was right about that, but there was nothing she could do. There was only one person Number One listened to and it wasn’t her.

--

Anyway, back to people-watching. There was once a rich woman who came to our store. No one could figure out why; we’re not exactly the high-end type. She brought her daughter with her, a pretty, blonde girl with bright blue eyes. Almost like mine, I think, but they looked better on her. I heard her tell Brittany that she wanted to get her granddaughter ‘normal clothes,’ except she said it like an insult. I figure that when her granddaughter came to visit, all she provided were expensive outfits and the girl spilled on them, teaching her the lesson of buying cheaper clothes for little kids. She didn’t say all of that but I made up the story to go along with her request.

--

Standing over Leonard’s body, the seventh member of the Hargeeves turned on her brother, eyes shining white against her pale face. In his hand, he held a bloody, glass eyeball. Her siblings crowded together, trying to calm her, but she spent all of her life being calm and she was tired of it. Turning her gaze to the academy, the building shook under a ten-point-zero earthquake, the bricks and concrete falling down in rapid succession. Tearing her gaze away from the sight of her childhood hell, she let sound waves resonate through the street, knocking over buildings and causing them to collapse, burying her siblings in rubble. Carelessly, she walked away as anger, sadness and hatred fueled her steps to her apartment where she changed and gathered up her violin for the world’s last performance.

--

She was very posh too, with fur and everything. She stood still long enough that I could study her coat, which had thirty spots. I’m not sure if it was real fur (if it was, she’s a horrible person), but she certainly acted very high-class, even speaking a little nasally and tilting her head up to look down on Brittany. I think it might’ve been because of Brittany’s skin color. The woman didn’t seem to be very accepting of hard-working people that looked different from her.

--

At ten o’clock pm, the close of the concert, sound waves so large they felled the building and many blocks over swept through the city. A short, dark-haired woman with a glowing white light in the center of her chest rose above the destruction, sending out pulses of sound to the far-reaching corners of the world. With no one to stop her, no one to shoot a gun next to her ear, the bottled power exploded from her chest sharing with everyone the feelings of hurt and neglect that she’d been forced to endure throughout her childhood. One person alone survived in a basement not much deeper than the fictional character’s she admired, writing away and completely unaware that the world above had changed beyond recognition.

[letterboxd]

Best of SXSW 2021.

From properly good Covid comedies to an epic folk-horror doc and an Indigenous feminist Western, the Letterboxd Festiville team reveals their ten best of SXSW Online.

We dug out old lanyards to wear around the house, and imagined ourselves queuing up the block from The Ritz (RIP). We dialled into screenings and panels, and did our level best to channel that manic “South By” energy from our living rooms.

The SXSW festival atmosphere was muted, and that’s to be expected. But the films themselves? Gems, so many gems, whether shot in a fortnight on the smell of an oily stimulus check, or painstakingly rotoscoped over seven years.

When we asked SXSW Film director Janet Pierson what she and her team were looking for this year, she told us: “We’re always looking for films that do a lot with little, that are ingenious, and pure talent, and discovery, and being surprised. We’re just looking for really good stories with good emotional resonance.” If there was one common denominator we noticed across this year’s SXSW picks, it was a smart, tender injection of comedy into stories about trauma, grief, unwanted pregnancy, chronic health conditions, homelessness, homophobia and, yes, Covid.

It’s hard to pick favorites, but here are the ten SXSW features and two short films we haven’t stopped thinking about, in no particular order.

Recovery Directed by Mallory Everton and Stephen Meek, written by Everton and Whitney Call

“Covid 19 is in charge now” might be the most hauntingly funny line in a SXSW film. In Recovery, two sisters set out on a haywire road trip to rescue their grandmother from her nursing home in the wake of a severe Covid 19 outbreak. There’s no random villain or threat, because isn’t being forced to exist during a pandemic enough of a threat in itself? If ever we were worried about “Covid comedies”, SXSW managed to flush out the good ones. (Read about the Festiville team’s other favorite Covid-inflected comedies, including an interview with the directors of I’m Fine (Thanks for Asking).)

Alex Marzona praises the “off-the-charts chemistry” between leads Mallory Everton and Whitney Call. Best friends since they were nine, the pair also wrote the film, with Everton co-directing with Stephen Meek. Every laugh comes from your gut and feels like something only the cast and crew would usually be privy to. “You can tell a lot of the content is improvised, which just attests to their talent,” writes Emma. Recovery doesn’t make you laugh awkwardly about how awful the last year has been—rather, it reminds you that even in such times there are still laughs to be had, trips to be taken, family worth uprooting everything for. Just make sure you’ve packed enough wet wipes for the road, and think long and hard about who should babysit your mice. —EK

The Spine of Night Written and directed by Morgan Galen King and Philip Gelatt

Don’t get too attached to any characters from its star-studded cast—nobody is safe (or fully-clothed) in The Spine of Night’s raw, ultra-violent and cynical world. Conjured over the last seven years, directors Philip Gelatt and Morgan Galen King’s rotoscoped epic recaptures the dazzling imagination and scope of their influences Ralph Bakshi and Heavy Metal. Approaching an anthology-style structure to explore how ‘absolute power corrupts absolutely’—a proverb more potent now than when Gelatt and King began their project—the film packs a franchise’s worth of ideas in its 90-minute runtime. Though the storytelling justifiably proves itself overly dense for some, it will find the audience it’s after, as other Letterboxd members have declared it “a rare treat” and “a breath of fresh air in the feature-length animation scene”. For sure, The Spine of Night can join Sundance premieres Flee and Cryptozoo in what’s already a compelling year for unique two-dimensional animation. —JM

Kambole Campbell caught up with Gelatt and King (who are also Letterboxd members!) during SXSW to talk about animation inspirations and rotoscoping techniques.

The Drover’s Wife: The Legend of Molly Johnson Written and directed by Leah Purcell

Snakes, steers and scoundrels beware! Writer-director-star Leah Purcell ably repurposes the Western genre for Aboriginal and female voices in The Drover’s Wife. Molly Johnson is a crack-shot anti-heroine for the ages, in this decolonized reimagining of a classic 1892 short story by Henry Lawson. And by reimagining, we mean a seismic shift in the narrative: Purcell has fleshed out a full story of a mother-of-four, pregnant with her fifth, a missing husband, predatory neighbors, a mysterious runaway and a young English couple on different paths to progress in this remote Southern land. Purcell first adapted this story for the stage, then as published fiction; she rightly takes the leading role in the screen version, too.

As a debut feature director, Purcell (Goa-Gunggari-Wakka Wakka Murri) already has a firm grip on the macabre and the menacing, not shying away from violence, but making very careful decisions about what needs to be depicted, given all that Molly Johnson and her family are subjected to. She also sneaks in mystic touches, and a hint of romance (local heartthrob Rob Collins can take us on a walk to where the Snowy widens to see blooming wildflowers anytime). Judging by early Letterboxd reviews, it’s not for everyone, but this is Australian colonization through an Indigenous feminist’s eyes, with a fierce, intersectional pay-off. “Extremely similar to a vast majority of the issues and themes explored in The Nightingale,” writes Claira. “I’m slowly realizing that my favorite type of Westerns are Australian.” —LK, GG

Swan Song Written and directed by Todd Stephens

Udo Kier is often the bridesmaid, rarely the bride. Now, after a lifetime of supporting roles ranging from vampires and villains to art-house muse, he finally gets to shine center-stage in Swan Song. Kier dazzles as a coiffure soothsayer in this lyrical pageant to the passage of queer times in backwater Sandusky, Ohio. “He is absolutely wonderful here,” writes Adrianna, “digging deep and pulling out a mesmerizing, deeply affecting and emotionally textured performance, proving that he’s an actor with much more range than people give him credit for.”

A strong supporting cast all have melancholy moments to shine, with Linda Evans (Dynasty), Michael Urie (Ugly Betty) and Jennifer Coolidge (Legally Blonde) along for the stroll. Surreal camp touches add joy (that chandelier, the needle drop!) but by the end, the tears roll (both of joy and sadness). Writer-director Todd Stephens ties up his Sandusky trilogy in this hometown homage, a career peak for both him and Kier. Robert Daniels puts it well, writing that Swan Song is “campy as hell, but it’s also a heartfelt LGBTQ story about lost lovers and friends, vibrant memories and the final passage of a colorful life.” —LK

Leo Koziol spoke with Todd Stephens and Udo Kier during SXSW about Grace Jones, David Bowie and dancing with yourself.

Islands Written and directed by Martin Edralin

Islands is a Mike Leigh-esque story that presents a Canadian Filipino immigrant family full of quirk and character, centered around Joshua, a reticent 50-year-old homebody son. The story drifts in and out of a deep well of sadness. Moments of lightness and familial love make the journey worthwhile. “A film so Filipino a main plot device is line-dancing,” writes Karl. “Islands is an incredibly empathetic film about what it’s like to feel unmoored from comfort. It’s distinctly Filipino and deals with the psychology of Asian culture in a way that feels both profound and oddly comforting.” In a year in which we’ve all been forced to physically slow down, Islands “shows us how slow life can be,” writes Justin, “and how important it is to be okay with that.” Rogelio Balagtas’s performance as Joshua—a first-time leading role—won him the SXSW Grand Jury Award for Breakthrough Performance. —LK

Ninjababy Directed by Yngvild Sve Flikke, written by Flikke with Johan Fasting and Inga H. Sætre

Ninjababy is as ridiculous as its title. When 23-year-old Rakel finds herself accidentally pregnant, scheduling an abortion is a no-brainer. But she’s way too far along, she’s informed, so she’s going to have to have the baby. The ensuing meltdown might have been heartbreaking if the film wasn’t so damn funny. Ninjababy draws on the comforting and familiar (“Lizzie McGuire if she was a pregnant young adult,” writes Nick), while mixing shock with originality (Erica Richards notices “a few aggressive and vulgar moments [but] somehow none of it seemed misplaced”).

An animated fetus in the style of Rakel’s own drawings appears to beg and shame Rakel into motherhood while she fights to hold onto her confidence that not wanting to be a mother doesn’t make her a bad person. Ninjababy’s greatest feat is its willingness to delve into that complication: yes, it’s righteous and feminist and 21st-century to claim your own body and life, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy to turn away from something growing inside of you. It’s a comedy about shame, art, finding care in unlikely places—and there’s something in it for the gents, too. The titular ninjababy wouldn’t leave Rakel alone, and it’s unlikely to leave you either. Winner of the SXSW Global Audience Award. —SH

The Fallout Written and directed by Megan Park

Canadian actress Megan Park brought the youthful wisdom of her days on the teen drama series The Secret Life of the American Teenager to her first project behind the camera, and it paid off. Following the scattered after-effects of a school shooting, The Fallout may be the most acute, empathetic depiction of childhood trauma on screen in recent memory. “It sneaks up on you with its honesty and how it spends time with its lead, carried so beautifully by Jenna Ortega. Even the more conventional moments are poignant because of context,” writes Kevin L. Lee. Much of that “sneaky” honesty emerges as humor—despite the heavy premise, moments of hilarity hang on the edges of almost every scene. And Ortega’s portrayal of sweet-but-angsty Vada brings self-awareness to that humor, like when Vada’s avoidant, inappropriate jokes with her therapist reveal her desperation, but they garner genuine laughs nonetheless.

In this debut, Park shows an unmatched understanding of non-linear ways that young people process their pain. Sometimes kids try drugs! Sometimes they scream at their parents! But more often than not, they really do know what they want, who loves them, and how much time they need to grieve (see also: Jessie Barr’s Sophie Jones, starring her cousin Jessica Barr, out now on VOD and in theaters). The Fallout forsakes melodrama to embrace confusion, ambiguity and joy. Winner of both the SXSW Grand Jury and Audience Narrative Feature Awards, and the Brightcove Illumination Award. —SH

Ludi Directed by Edson Jean, written by Jean and Joshua Jean-Baptiste

When Ludi begins, it’s quiet and dreamy. The film’s opening moments conjure the simple pleasures of the titular character’s Haitian heritage: the music, the colors, the people. Ludi (Shein Monpremier) smiles to herself as she starts her morning with a tape recording her cousin mailed from Haiti to Miami, and listens as her family members laugh through their troubles before recording an upbeat tape of her own. But that’s where the dreaminess ends—Ludi is an overworked, underpaid nurse picking up every shift she possibly can in order to send money home. Writer-director Edson Jean fixates on the pains and consequences of Ludi’s relentless determination, which comes to a head when she moonlights as a private nurse for an old man who doesn’t want her there.

Ashton Kinley notes how the film “doesn’t overly dramatize or pull at false emotional strings to make its weight felt. The second half of the feature really allows all of that to shine, as the film becomes a tender and empathetic two-hander.” George’s (Alan Myles Heyman) resentment of his own aging body steps in as Ludi’s antagonist. Jean throws together jarring contrasts: George throwing Ludi out of the bathroom, followed by Ludi’s memories of home, followed by another lashing out, followed by a shared prayer. The tension is unsustainable. By interspersing the back-breaking predicament of a working-class immigrant with the sights and sounds of the Caribbean, Ludi elegantly, painfully reveals what the cost of a dream can be. —SH

Woodlands Dark and Days Bewitched: A History of Folk Horror Written and directed by Kier-La Janisse

Building on the folk horror resurgence of films like The Witch and Midsommar, Kier-La Janisse’s 193-minute documentary Woodlands Dark and Days Bewitched is a colossal, staggering undertaking that should school even the most seasoned of horror buffs. “Thorough is an understatement,” says Claira.

Combining a historian’s studied, holistic patience with a cinephile’s rabid, insatiable thirst, the film, through the course of six chapters, broadens textbook British definitions, draws trenchant socio-political and thematic connections, debunks myths and transports viewers to far-flung parts of the globe in a way that almost feels anthropological. As Jordan writes, “Three hours later and my mind is racing between philosophical questions about the state of hauntology we generationally entrap ourselves in, wanting to buy every single one of the 100+ films referenced here, and being just a bit in awe of Janisse’s truly breathless work.” An encyclopedic forest worth losing yourself in—get ready for those watchlists to balloon. Winner of the SXSW Midnighters Audience Award. —AY

Introducing, Selma Blair Directed by Rachel Fleit

There’ll likely be some level of hype when this intimate collaboration between actress Selma Blair and filmmaker Rachel Fleit comes out later in the year on Discovery+, and that’s okay, because that is Blair’s intention in sharing the details of her stem-cell transplant for multiple sclerosis. There’d be little point in going there if you are not prepared to really go there, and Introducing, Selma Blair is a tics-and-all journey not just into what life is like with a chronic condition, a young son, and a career that relies on one’s ability to keep a straight face. It’s also an examination of the scar tissue of childhood, the things we are told by our parents, the ideas we come to believe about ourselves. “I almost felt like I shouldn’t have such intimate access to some of the footage in this documentary,” writes Andy Yen. “Bravo to Selma for allowing the filmmakers to show some truly raw and soul-bearing videos about her battle with multiple sclerosis that make us feel as if we are as close to her as family.” —GG

Femme Directed by Sam H. Freeman and Ng Choon Ping

I May Destroy You fans, rejoice: Paapa Essiedu, who played Arabella’s fascinating best friend Kwame, takes center stage in Sam H. Freeman and Ng Choon Ping’s intoxicating short film Femme. It’s a simple premise—Jordan, a femme gay man, follows his drug dealer (Harris Dickinson, mastering the sexually repressed brusque young man like no one else) home to pick up some goods on a night out. Except, of course, it’s not that simple. The co-directors build a world of danger, tension and electricity, with lusciously lensed scenes that lose focus as the threat rises. Frankie calls it “hypnotizing and brutal and gorgeous” and we couldn’t agree more. A crime thriller wrestling with hyper-masculinity seen through the eyes of an LGBTQ+ character, with a sucker-punch ending to boot, the world needs more than twenty minutes of this story. —EK

Play It Safe Directed by Mitch Kalisa

If you (unwisely) thought that the vulnerable, progressive environment of drama school would be a safe space for Black students, Play It Safe confirms that even a liberal bunch of actors (and their teacher) are capable of being blind to their own egregiously racist microagressions. Mitch Kalisa’s excellent short film explores structural prejudice head-on, in an electric acting exercise that rests on where the kinetic, gritty 16mm camera is pointing at every pivotal turn. At first, we’re with Black drama student Jonathan Ajayi as he receives the assignment; then we are with the rest of the class, exactly where we need to be. “Literally in your face and absolutely breathtaking,” writes Nia. A deserving winner of the SXSW Grand Jury and Audience narrative shorts prizes. —GG

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[infinitelytheheartexpands]

Month of New Operatic Works, Round 2, #19: Hérodiade (1995 Plasson recording)

Owing to a headache arising from my sleep schedule going completely bonkers last night (passed out sometime around 9 PM, woke up about 2 hours later, and have not been able to fall asleep since), I opted to listen to this recording instead of watching the 1984 Liceu production of this, the most famous Massenet opera with which I was by and large unfamiliar (I’d only heard two of the opera’s big arias, “Il est doux, il est bon” and “Adieu donc, vains objets”). 

Update: uhhhhhhhh so this is how my initial experience went

me: *curls up on the sofa in the living room with a blanket and Hérodiade*

me: ah yes this is the perfect arrangement *types out the first paragraph of this post and saves it during the first few minutes of the opera*

me, 10 minutes later at like 7:30 PM: *passes out from sheer exhaustion*

me, 2 hours later: *wakes up with the music STILL PLAYING and listens to Cheryl Studer and Ben Heppner sing the hell out of an awesome duet and then immediately proceeds to pass out again*

me, waking up again 4 hours later: ...oh COME ON

so that was how my first attempt went and I say that not as a dig on Hérodiade, which it is not, but as an explanation as to why this took so long. anyway, on to the review!

This is definitely now Up There on my list of favorite Massenet operas.

So I listened to this recording from 1995 conducted by Michel Plasson with Cheryl Studer as Salomé, Nadine Denize as Hérodiade, Thomas Hampson as Hérode, Ben Heppner as Jean le Baptiste, and José van Dam as Phanuel. Unfortunately, it is not available on Spotify (seriously???); the only available one has (on the upside) Renée Fleming as Salomé and Dolora Zajick as Hérodiade, but (major downside) has The Tenor Turned Baritone Who Shall Not Be Named as Jean. 

The cast is marvelous top to bottom; Nadine Denize is a new name for me but she was excellent. The other four leads were excellent as always. I’m a huge fan of Plasson’s work.

Anyway, this opera is extremely interesting. It doesn’t follow either the original tale of the death of John the Baptist or the Wilde play that became the Richard Strauss opera. It’s quite different.

The backstory: years before the action of the opera, Hérodiade abandoned her daughter Salomé (who has no memories of her mother except that she was abandoned) in order to marry Hérode. in the intervening time, Salomé has found comfort from Jean and his preaching (as well as fallen in love with him) and heard a voice telling her to come to Jerusalem in order to find her mother. she has followed and become friends with Phanuel, who’s an adviser kinda in everyone’s business. Jean has been busy insulting Hérodiade, which has the completely expected effect of making her severely PO’d. meanwhile Hérode has seen and fallen in Opera Villain Lust (TM) with Salomé. also there’s an attempted revolt going on against the Romans.

The plot, very shortly: Salomé dreams of both finding her mother and furthering her relationship with Jean. Hérodiade asks Hérode to have Jean executed; he says no. Jean calls Hérodiade out a bunch and it’s awesome. Later, at a party or something, Hérode is horny and drinks a potion that makes him have erotic visions of Salomé. Phanuel tells him about the political situation and Hérode, in order to become more popular, allies himself with the revolt. However, unexpectedly the Roman official Vitellius shows up and Hérode changes his tune real quick. Jean comes on with his followers and Salomé and basically disses everyone. Hérodiade notices Hérode making eyes at Salomé and tells Vitellius that Jean is bad news, hoping to get someone to help her get Jean executed.

Hérodiade then pays Phanuel, who apparently is also an astrologer, a visit and asks him to tell her what the stars hold. Because this is an opera, there is a whole lot of blood and destruction in those stars. Phanuel also tells Hérodiade that her star is linked to that of her abandoned daughter and that said abandoned daughter is nearby. Hérodiade is overjoyed at first but when Phanuel points to Salomé outside, she’s horrified and her joy turns to hatred. Salomé tries to find Jean inside the palace because he’s been captured, but Hérode finds her first and essentially all but sexually assaults her. Then Jean is put on trial; Hérode offers to pardon him if he helps him overthrow the Romans. Jean says no. Salomé then asks to die alongside Jean. Everyone’s like “wtf?!?!?!” and Hérode, realizing that Jean is his rival, sentences both to death. Hérodiade, who wants to dispatch both the man who insulted her and the woman who’s drawing her husband’s wandering eye, thinks this is convenient.

Jean angsts in prison. Salomé finds him and declares her love, and at last he too declares that he loves her. But in a twist, Hérode pardons Salomé (and her alone) and summons her to the palace. She is carried off as such against her will. Jean is executed. The Romans have crushed the rebellion, and Hérode (who just goes with what’s in vogue) holds a banquet to celebrate along with Hérodiade. Salomé interrupts the festivities and asks that either she die with Jean or Jean be saved because Jean was the only person who truly cared for her after her abandonment by the mother she despises. An executioner announces that Jean is dead. Salomé realizes that Hérodiade is responsible and goes to stab her, but Hérodiade reveals that she is Salomé’s mother. Salomé, in despair, kills herself instead. The end.

It’s really an extremely sad opera. All Salomé wanted was to have someone truly care about her. And in pursuit of a man, Hérodiade ruined her life twice over and became directly responsible for her death. And yet she isn’t completely a monster either; she’s a complicated woman who wants to keep her husband from straying, which is understandable given what she gave up to be with him, though she went about it all wrong. Hérode is almost certainly worse, with little to none in the way of redeeming qualities. Jean is a Good Tenor who doesn’t want Salomé to get hurt. Phanuel is just trying to keep everything together but he’s failing miserably. It’s really very compelling.

The music! My God, the music! Massenet writes so beautifully and has a rare gift among composers: to maintain a distinctive style while still fully immersing the listener in the distinct soundscape of the world in which the opera takes place. And since this is Massenet, the score is marvelous start to finish, though several moments stood out at first listen:

all the arias (in particular, I had no idea Salomé got a second marvelous aria in Act III after her iconic “Il est doux, il est bon” 15 minutes into the opera)

the Act I trio for Hérode, Hérodiade, and Jean

I didn’t realize the tune from the orchestral intro to “Il est doux, il est bon” was a motif for Jean!

those dreamy harp arpeggios leading into and out of Hérode’s vision

the entire Salomé/Hérode duet (Salomé is such a badass)

the Act III danse sacré

the moment when Salomé publicly declares her love and admiration for Jean

the ensuing ensemble

the entire Salomé/Jean duet

from Salomé’s final entrance to the end of the opera

anyway, marvelous opera. even though I’m technically one short, I think this is a good place to end this month’s experiment. it’s been fun. :)

[absynthe--minded]

If Supernatural Can Get Fifteen Seasons, The Silmarillion Can Get Fifteen Seasons: An Overview

I’m going to be going into much more detail in individual season-specific posts, but for the moment, here is the extremely condensed look at what each of these seasons would entail plotwise. I’ve included a cut for length; I hope this translates to mobile well. I’ve followed chronology more or less as closely as I can, adding additional time in places where I thought it made sense or moving events closer together for thematic resonance, and I’ve included Russingon because I’m me and of course I did.

The idea is that this is a 2D animated series rated TV-MA (comparable to R for feature films in the US, or any of HBO’s shows) with fifteen seasons, 26 hourlong episodes each.

Season 1: Valinor, and the unrest between the houses of the Noldor, interwoven with stories about the beginning of the universe/the Great Journey from Cuiviénen/etc. Establishes our core Valinorean cast, and hints at Thingol being a presence later. Main storyline involves Finwëan Family Drama, with bonus Melkor Fucking Shit Up. We meet Maglor's secret wife Aeriel, Curufin's known wife Annamírë + his son Celebrimbor, and become aware of Fingon and Maedhros's love affair. The Sword Incident and Fëanor's banishment to Formenos are featured. The audience knows Melkor is plotting something but doesn't know what. Series finale is the Darkening of Valinor - like, the last thing the audience sees before the series ends is the elves' festival in Tirion and then everything goes dark. Roll credits.

Season 2: Cold open on Maedhros and Maglor and Celegorm finding Finwë's body + realizing the Silmarils are gone. Flashback to Melkor's plans, and we see the Darkening from his perspective. He flees across the ocean and Ungoliant vanishes. Cover the drama between Fingolfin and Fëanor over the crown, Lalwen and Findis and Finarfin rallying around their brother, etc. Maedhros and Fingon marry. Fëanor convinces nearly all of of his loyalists to leave specifically to avenge his personal losses, Fingolfin has a larger amount of people who want to go East to fight Morgoth. Set up a conflict between Fingolfin and Fëanor here - Fingolfin does actually want to defend the elves still living in Arda proper and the soon-to-come Men from Morgoth's influence, while Fëanor is raving about how I Will Not Be Replaced. (This is not strictly canonical, but it is a good contrast of their leadership styles, and it widens the gap between them/adds another reason why Fëanor would perceive Fingolfin as a threat.) Kinslaying at Alqualondë, Finarfin and his people noping out, Fëanor seeming to forgive/make nice with Fingolfin after his people joined in the fight for the ships. He offers to sail East first, with the justification that if there is danger there he'll be the first to encounter it. Maedhros is reluctantly parted from Fingon. Maglor reveals to Amrod that he was married, and his wife died in the battle. They arrive at Losgar, empty out the boats, and make camp for the night. Amrod goes back onboard the ship to sleep. Maedhros wakes up early, finds his father awake, and asks if he can take the boats back West to pick up Fingon et al. Fëanor loses his shit and starts rousing everyone for the shipburning. Maedhros asks him not to, and reveals his marriage, and Fëanor's response is to throw the first torch. Amrod dies, and none of his brothers can get to him. Fingolfin's host sees the flames from across the ocean, and turn towards the north and the Ice. End season.

Season 3: The host moves inland to Mithrim and begins to set up camp. They've met some Sindar by now, and they carry word back to Doriath that Finwë's son and grandchildren have come back to Arda. Thingol tells Lúthien, who is just past her majority into adulthood, a part of his life story that she hasn't heard yet: that Finwë was his best friend, and that he'd been on his way to see Finwë when he was sidetracked by Melian. He decides to let Fëanor and his host stay in Mithrim in memory of that friendship. Dagor-nin-Giliath happens, Fëanor dies at the end of the second episode. Episode 3 deals with Maedhros being hastily crowned, and receiving word from Morgoth that he'll parlay for a Silmaril, and him riding out despite his brothers' suspicions. He's taken captive, end episode. Episode 4 is after a 58-solar-year timeskip, revealing the fate of Fingolfin's host on the Ice. We open on a dream of Elenwë drowning by Turgon; he wakes to reassure himself that Idril is all right and then everyone continues on. The whole episode is taken up by the Ice and the Battle of the Lammoth, ending with Argon's death and the rising of the Sun. Next episode starts with the elves but cuts over to humanity, newly awakened in Hildórien - this is a hint of what’s to come. Fingolfin's host challenges Morgoth and goes unanswered, and then return to Mithrim and settle on the opposite side of the lake from the Fëanorians, who are doing SUBSTANTIALLY better bc they stole a lot from their fellow Noldor and they also don't treat the land they're living on like Thingol's, vs Fingolfin who refuses to do anything except the bare minimum his people need to survive until they get Permission. Basically the rest of this season is some of the events of Blessed Hands, with Maedhros's rescue and recovery and ensuing family drama. Five solar years pass, and the season ends with him and Fingon riding up to the outskirts of the Fëanorian encampment.

Season 4: Season opens with Maedhros being reunited with his brothers and opening formal negotiations for an apology to Fingolfin. Thingol opens formal negotiations with Maedhros and Fingolfin, but neither one reveal to him why they've come to Beleriand/the circumstances surrounding their departure. Fingolfin wants to speak to Thingol personally, and Maedhros defers to him. Permission is granted for the Noldor to settle in the north of Beleriand. A council meeting is held to settle the matter of the High Kingship; Fingolfin is elected and Maedhros votes for him, angering his brothers. He offers to take up residence in the northeastern mountains near Angband, and Fingolfin grants him and his House lordship of that region. The Fëanorian host begins to depart, but postpones their journey for the Mereth Aderthad. Beleg, Daeron, Mablung, and a few other Sindarin elves attend the feast. Orodreth meets his future wife. Last half of the season covers 40 years - Turgon and Finrod have their visions, the Noldor begin to construct multiple settlements, and attack Morgoth with renewed strength. Season ends with the triumph of the Dagor Aglareb and the departure of Turgon from Nevrast with his host.

Season 5: Season opens in Doriath, with Galadriel having taken up residence there. Brief summation of the beginning of the Siege of Angband. Angrod pisses off Thingol and causes the Ban on Quenya, and news of this is carried to Himring, Nargothrond, and Gondolin, giving us a sense of their status/construction. Caranthir meets the Dwarves of the Blue Mountains and strikes up a friendship/partnership with them. Fingon visits Himring once it's finished. Gondolin and Nargothrond are completed. Orcs attack Hithlum by coming up the Lammoth but are turned back. Maedhros, Caranthir, Maglor, and Celegorm go to Barad Eithel for the bicentennial of the Mereth Aderthad. Tension here is primarily political/slice-of-life - it's peaceful, even if it's a watchful peace, and it seems like Morgoth is pretty effectively held at bay. The only exception is Aredhel, who grows dissatisfied with Gondolin and finally leaves after a massive fight with Turgon about everything from his family loyalty to his politics to his taste in clothing. Young Glaurung is turned back easily by Fingon and a few other soldiers. Season ends with Finrod getting separated from the sons of Fëanor while on a hunt and encountering Men in the woods, changing everything.

Season 6: Speedrun Part Two! This is the Season of Men and Politics, covering 145 years. We see the Edain choose to integrate into Noldorin society, with all the lumps and bumps this causes, and how they respond to the elves around them. Bëor, Marach, Haldad, Haleth, Haldar, Malach, Zimrahin, Hador, Adanel, Bereg, Amlach, and Andreth all become important characters. The Green-elves can't stand Men bc they're insufferable vegans, the Sindar are isolationist and suspicious save for a few of their Marchwardens/soldiers, and the Noldor are eager to make new friends. Focus is given to the tensions between the different Edainic groups and philosophies, and how different Houses and clans interact with elves and dwarves. There's not a lot of certainty that the decision to stay was the right one, and different voices have different opinions. All this tension culminates in two things: the council meeting that ends with Bereg leaving Beleriand along with a thousand followers, and the Haladin being trapped behind the Gelion-Ascar Stockade and saved by Caranthir and his forces before going to Brethil. The resolution of this season-long arc is the Edain essentially deciding that if they're going to stay, they'll stay on their own terms, and each House decides what that means. Andreth and Aegnor meet and fall in love. The Athrabeth gets an entire episode. Elvish character drama that isn't about interacting with Men is kept to a minimum except for Aredhel's arc - this is the season where she loses her guards, gets stuck in Nan Elmoth, and encounters Eöl. He's dark and creepy and mysterious and she's at once afraid of him and kind of enamored by his difference from everything she's known, but he quickly turns awful. Huor, Morwen, Rían, Emeldir, Barahir, and Húrin are introduced. Maeglin is born, and grows up, and he and Aredhel escape Nan Elmoth and make a run for Gondolin with Eöl following. The Bragollach and Aredhel's death make up the season finale.

Season 7: Season opens with Fingon's coronation, Maedhros crashing said coronation, baby Gil-galad being sent to Fingon to be his ward and then sent away to Círdan on the coast, and the revelation that Sauron has taken Tol Sirion and Dorthonion has fallen. Flashbacks to various parts of the Bragollach: Celegorm, Curufin, and Celebrimbor saving Orodreth from Sauron's forces and fleeing to Nargothrond/Emeldir fleeing over the mountains to Brethil with the Bëorian civilians while Barahir and Beren and what's left of the fighters remain/Huor and Húrin being taken to Gondolin. Maedhros begins plans for Revenge, Fingon starts leveling austerity measures against the nobility to finance refugee relief, Gondolin mourns Aredhel and doesn't know what to do with Maeglin, and Nargothrond adjusts to having C&C around. Barahir tells Beren about Finrod's oath to always help their family. Sauron tricks Gorlim and slaughters everyone but Beren, who tries and fails to defend Dorthonion and finally flees south and gets lost in the woods of Neldoreth. He meets Lúthien, falls in love with her, and runs afoul of Thingol, who decides to use him to cause infighting in Finwë's descendants. Quest for the Silmaril, with all that entails, meanwhile Fingon struggles with High Kingship and Maedhros makes alliances with the Easterlings and the Dwarves of Belegost. Plenty of time is given to Beren and Lúthien and the Hunt for Carcharoth, with the season finale being their marriage after they return to life.

Season 8: Season opens with Huor and Húrin leaving Gondolin and returning home just in time for battle plans to really start ramping up. If everyone's attacking Angband, no one's attacking Doriath, and if Morgoth is defeated, maybe two Silmarils are really all we need, or so we hope. This is an entire season dedicated to loose ends - Thingol's refusal to join the Union, Orodreth assuming lordship of Nargothrond, Gondolin drama, etc. Morwen and Húrin marry and have Túrin and Urwen. Huor and Rían court and fall in love and marry, and Rían gets pregnant. Beren and Lúthien sneak away from Ossiriand with an infant Dior to visit Beren's family and are present for the wedding. There are little skirmishes, and some suspicions of treachery among the Easterlings that get shut down both by Bór's steadfastness and Fingon insisting that everyone's allied here and due complete respect. A plague hits Estolad, with Urwen dying, and Húrin trying to convince Morwen to send Túrin to Doriath since he's now blood kindred to the King. Morwen refuses, and discovers she's pregnant again as Húrin marches off to war. The Nirnaeth is a three-part season finale, with Tuor's birth juxtaposed against Huor's death.

Season 9: The Children of Húrin/Fall of Gondolin Extravaganza, Part One. Túrin is sent away to Doriath, grows up there, spends time on the marches, falls in love with Beleg and marries him in elvish fashion, and then finally snaps because he can't deal with Menegroth's racist bullshit anymore. Tuor, raised by elves, is finally captured and enslaved. Saeros dies. Túrin leaves Doriath to become an outlaw. Tuor survives as a thrall for years. Morwen and Nienor flee to Doriath, Gwindor escapes Angband and makes his way south towards Nargothrond, Beleg is killed by Túrin, and Tuor finally escapes thralldom. Tuor arrives at Nevrast and Túrin arrives at Nargothrond in the same episode. Ulmo appears to Tuor, and Túrin discovers from Gwindor that Húrin and his entire line have been cursed by Morgoth. Contrast Túrin's desire for action now with Tuor's somewhat careless wandering. Tuor meets Voronwë and they make for Gondolin. Glaurung attacks Nargothrond, and it falls. Túrin escapes into the wilderness and crosses paths with his cousin. Nienor loses her memory and is found by the men of Brethil in the same episode that Tuor comes to Gondolin. End season.

Season 10: CoH/TFOG, Part Two. Túrin goes home and finds his mother and sister gone and makes a mess of things but manages to escape. Tuor tries to tell Turgon to leave and can't convince him, and decides to remain in Gondolin. Tuor and Idril/Túrin and Nienor/Dior and Nimloth meet and fall in love, with this arc culminating in them all marrying in the same episode with the last scene cutting between the three ceremonies. Glaurung returns. Túrin kills him, Nienor gets her memory back, they die. Eluréd and Elurín born. Wanderings of Húrin, including the curse on Gondolin for not letting him in. The Nauglamir comes to Doriath, and with it the first echoes of doom. Season ends with Húrin and Morwen reuniting and their deaths.

Season 11: TFOG Part Three. Thingol gets nerfed by dwarves. Mablung dies. Battle of the Thousand Caves, Battle of Sarn Gebir, where Beren takes the Silmaril back from the dwarves and sends it to Doriath again. Melian departs for Valinor. Dior crowned King of Doriath. Elwing born. The Fëanorians attack Doriath in the Second Kinslaying but Elwing escapes with the Silmaril and makes it to the Havens of Sirion. Maeglin caught by Morgoth and tortured. Maedhros learns Elwing has the Silmaril but forswears the Oath. The actual Fall of Gondolin is a six-part season finale.

Season 12: Season opens with Maedhros futilely sending letters to Elwing pleading for her to relinquish the Silmaril. She refuses, being in her mid-teens now. Most of this season, the Fëanorians are a distant threat; the majority of the story is Eärendil and Elwing falling in love and assuming leadership of the Havens. Gil-galad becomes High King of the Noldor. Círdan starts advocating for asking for help from the West. Celebrimbor escaped Nargothrond's fall and is living as a civilian in Sirion. Idril and Tuor sail for Valinor, their fates unknown. Years pass. Eärendil and Elwing marry, and Eärendil resolves to try to go for help once more. An absolutely kickass ship gets built. Elrond and Elros are born. Eärendil sails West. The Fëanorians are unable to stave off the Oath any longer and attack the Havens, destroying everything. Elwing, convinced her sons are already murdered and having flashbacks to the disappearance of her brothers, jumps from the cliff with the Silmaril and flies for Eärendil's ship. Elrond and Elros are 'adopted' by Maedhros and Maglor. Season ends with a new star appearing in the sky, and Maedhros and Maglor recognizing it as a Silmaril and wondering what that means.

Season 13: Season opens with Gil-galad and Círdan and what Mannish and Dwarvish refugees they've encountered beginning to consider trying to fight back against Morgoth again, as he's been attacking their last remaining refuges. It's been seven years since Sirion was sacked, and no one's seen Elrond and Elros since their disappearance. A pair of twenty-year-old-by-human-standards twins who look neither elven nor human show up on Gil-galad's doorstep, and Círdan recognizes them as the missing boys. They won't talk about their childhood at all, but they say they're here to help in whatever way they can. Hostilities escalate quickly. Halfway through the season the Vanyar and several reembodied Noldor and Teleri arrive in Beleriand, led by Ingwion and Eönwë and Finarfin. The War of Wrath begins.

Season 14: Just. An entire season of the War of Wrath. It's decades of war there's a lot of shit to do here. The biggest thing is that Elros meets Men for the first time and feels like he's come home, starting at the bottom of their ranks and rising through them meritocracy-style. He meets a woman named Elwen who's essentially a pirate and falls in love with her.

Season 15: The first half of the season is the last bit of the WoW, ending with Eärendil killing Ancalagon and breaking open Thangorodrim. Sauron escapes, Morgoth is cast into the Void. Elrond and Elros make their Choice. Celebrían is born, with her naming witnessed by all the reembodied Arafinwëans. The elves who wish to return to Valinor do so, with some - Gil-galad and Galadriel and Celebrimbor, namely - electing to stay. The Valar reward the Men involved in the war with Númenor, though not all of them choose to go. Those that do elect Elros as their King after the Valar have departed. Loose ends are tied up, the beginnings of Middle-Earth are established, and the series ends on a shot of the setting sun from the point of view of Elros's palace.

More specific examinations of each season are coming. But this is a basic idea of what I’m looking for, this would be my Ultimate Dream Adaptation. I could probably cut it down to eight seasons? Probably. But then I’d lose that precious pacing.