#and that as a late teen meeting someone who actually had used the stuff and planned to again didn't freak my fragile sheltered brain out

[impandgnomes]

ngl gonna be thinking until the end of time about how pcov Kenny planned to get stoned whilst time travelling just to chill tf out

the man is a fucking king for that honestly why do you all sleep on this

[saberamane]

So @sulfies has got my mind hooked on A/B/O plot lines the past few days lol.

I've been thinking of another one that's a bit different from most AC fics, in that Desmond isn't from the future and was actually born in the Renaissance.

Now, he'd still be related to Altair, and be born into an Assassin family (and Bill is still a dick) but the Auditore/Kenway merge wouldn't be in his lineage, so we could make up another prominent Assassin family to be in his lineage or leave it at Altair.

Now for the abo stuff, I'd make it that you don't present as your orientation until mid to late teen, so like 14-19. And Desmond would present as an Omega, which Bill would hate because he's a dick and doesn't believe omega's can be Assassin's so he's pissed off he's wasted time training Desmond to be an Assassin only for him to be an omega.

So he marries Desmond off, basically to get rid of him, and maybe takes on someone else as his 'heir' who has already presented as an alpha.

Desmond, having come from a somewhat noble family, is married off to a rich alpha who is a lot older than him (Vidic???). The marriage only lasts about 3 years, before Desmond is divorced because he is 'barren' and the alpha doesn't want a useless omega. So Desmond is about 18/19 (so that he is a year or two older/younger than Ezio/Federico, whoever you ship him with. Surprisingly, I'm thinking of Federico in this fic idea.) And after Bill finds out about the divorce, he disowns Desmond, (partly because Desmond is now a 'ruined', non-virginal omega, so it'd be hard to get him married off again) so Desmond makes his way to Firenze, using his Assassin skills to steal money for food and find work.

This would be about the time of the Auditore execution, which Desmond would, clumsily, stop, because he recognized the Auditore name as being a fellow Assassin family. He gets a little hurt, but overall is able to get the Auditore free.

After safely making it to the Brothel to hide, Desmond introduces himself. And Giovanni is quietly excited about meeting Desmond, because he knows who Desmond is. And years ago, after it was announced that Desmond presented as an Omega, he had intended to potentially set up an engagement between Desmond and one of his sons, because it would have been great to have an Assassin marry one of his sons so there wouldn't be any secretes within the family, or potentially telling a non-assassin mate about the Brotherhood. However, just days after getting the news about Desmond's presentation, the news of his upcoming marriage had spread.

So Giovanni sees this as a great opportunity to make a match for Federico or Ezio after hearing from Desmond that he was divorced (and possibly barren). Of course Ezio isn't in the know yet, so Giovanni approaches Federico with his proposal first, and Federico decides he wants to get to know Desmond a little before giving his father an answer on whether he should approach Desmond about a potential betrothal.

And Federico quickly learns that being able to talk to a potential mate openly about the Brotherhood is something he didn't know was hampering his previous flirtations. Not having to hide a big part of himself is so freeing. And being able to spar with Desmond, either hand to hand or swords, is fun. And just overall they get along great, Federico is having a great time getting to know Desmond, and he knows Desmond wouldn't marry him for his family's money like so many others had tried.

So he decides he does want to marry Desmond, if Desmond will accept. And he even wants to bond with Desmond, regardless of Desmond being unable to get pregnant.

(Bonding is a permanent, undoable almost psychic connection, and usually isn't done lightly. Often couples wait until they have at least 1 kid of an age that they won't suddenly die.)

Of course Desmond thinks Federico wouldn't be happy with him, and as the eldest, alpha son he really should marry someone who can give him kids. Federico persists, and eventually wears Desmond down. They begin a courtship that lasts months, and Federico is so happy.

Desmond fits in so well with his family, he's able to calm Claudia's moods and entertains Petruccio with fantastical stories, and jokes with Ezio like a brother. And running the rooftops together? That's not something Federico ever thought he'd get to do with his mate.

So they marry, bond during Desmond's heat, and have a blissful few months before Desmond gets ill.

Its a surprise for everyone when Desmond turns out to be pregnant. Federico is surprised but ecstatic and Desmond is filled with both relief and dread, because now that he's pregnant maybe his father would try to force him to go back to his ex, even with a baby and bond.

Theres drama, because Bill does try some shady shit, but Giovanni is both a better, higher ranking Assassin and higher up on the Noble ladder, so Bill can't really do anything.

And everyone lives happily ever after.

[theflashjaygarrick]

Absolutely wild to me that with all of DC's reboots/retcons no one has had the sense to completely erase the Arisia incident (and no, I do not count Johns' whole 'Hal thought it was creepy but then learnt that her planet rotates differently so she is actually 200' nonsense. It's probably the biggest stain on the green lantern franchise (followed by the Kalmaku nickname thing) and genuinely there is no benefit to it existing.

But importantly I don't mean erase Arisia. She is a character with a lot of potential as a little sister with self esteem issues, a child who has been conscripted into a literal galactic army and is honestly just trying her best. She's adorable and had a lot of potential before Englehart made it so disgusting I stopped reading his green lantern comics my I own sanity. And I do feel like while it definitely did tarnish Hal and his reputation (and lets be real, probably should have done so for almost every green lantern in that era except John) Arisia herself was honestly a lot harder hit with being hated and erased. Which is how a lot of comic controversies - and even real life abuse cases can - go. I feel like she honestly deserves a second chance to be explicitly and overtly removed from that uncomfortable and unnecessary arc rather than just being pushed aside so people can write Hal as a space maverick male fantasy (when will Spectre Hal come back from the war).

But like imagine an Arisia year one with me (wherein the writers and the corps aren't creeps):

Arisia is a young orphaned alien girl who is still grieving when she has the responsibility and powers of a lantern ring thrust upon her. While still trying to get a hang of her new powers she is called into OA where she meets the other Green Lanterns. She begins training and becomes the (actual) little sister/kid of the green lantern corps. Crucially no one is weird about her. I would probably make it so that her home planet values really strong familial ties so that as an orphan she is desperately seeking out a family in the green lantern corps, which clashes with some of the other members who initially see the other corpsmen as work buddies at most. In this when Hal and her hang out its because he's her mentor and he radiates cool uncle vibes.

And honestly you could keep the ageing up with the ring idea but instead of making it part of a creepy romance arc it could be used to further explore her own anxieties. Maybe she feels overlooked as a kid so decides to make herself look older to feel more powerful when on missions, but it eventually it makes her feel more self conscious about what she looks like normally. Then it ends with her learning to embrace and find confidence in who she really is. You know, classic coming of age stuff. And after that Hal and Jon decide to introduce her to the Teen Titans so she can be around other heroes (roughly) her own age.

So she ends up on Earth for while where you could have a fun fish out of water dynamic whilst she explores earth life in San Fransisco. Not only is she a member of teen titans as their GL (or Teen Lantern as they probably insist on calling her). She can have a whole side plot about making friends in her civilian identity and wanting to be a normal kid (milkshakes, diners, roller skating, baby gay crushes) while also knowing that at some point she has to go back to OA and to her home sector. Back there she has to embrace this massive responsibility (honestly too big for someone of her age) that she didn't choose, but that was rather an inherited burden from her late father and duty as a member of the corps.

Ultimately it would be about finding confidence in your own heroism, a found family, and having fun coming of age moments. And rescuing a promising female character from being an embarrassing footnote in DC (and Hal Jordan's) history.

DNI INTERACT IF YOU ENJOY HAL AND ARISIA AS A COUPLE. I DON'T KNOW IF THESE PEOPLE ARE REAL BUT IF THEY ARE, LEAVE MY POST/BLOG ALONE.

[miraculous-multiverse]

Akuma City AU: The Heroes

For context

Crimson Bug

Real Name: Luka Couffaine

Miraculous Wielded: Ladybug

Luka was busy with his part-time job when the incident happened and managed to not be Akumatized by pure luck. He attempted to go back home to see if his sister and mother were victims of the butterflies but he got delayed by the numerous Akumas causing chaos all over the city and when he finally arrived he was too late and they were already Akumas. This caused him lots of guilt and drove him to try to help everyone in order to prevent others from suffering the same way he did.

He found Tikki as she was laying exhausted on the floor because she searched for a good wielder non-stop for weeks and brought her home despite not knowing what she was. She realized that he was a good choice for a wielder, told him everything about Nooroo and the Akumas and offered him the Ladybug Miraculous. He accepted and became Crimson Bug.

Obtaining the Miraculous led him to double down on his attempts to help everyone to the point that his own teammates are concerned about it and are afraid that he could get Akumatized. It leads him to stretch himself thin in order to help everyone and makes him constantly exhausted. This ends up with him collapsing on the ground mid-fight and having to be forced to spend some time off battle to recover by Chloe of all people. This leads him to a series of events that basically forces him to realize that he also needs help and actually starts his character development.

At first he got along horribly with Chloe due to her egoistical and self-centered nature and only worked with her because Tikki and Plagg forced him to but after she called him out over his tendency to put others above himself and surprisingly offered to help him assist others in need (claiming that she only did that because it was a good way for her to increase her reputation) he realized that there was more about her than it meets the eye and began to form a friendship with her.

He got along better with Sabrina from the start and attempts to be an older brother figure to her. She thinks that he’s using her as a replacement for Juleka but doesn’t have the courage to tell him.

Doesn’t get along at all with Lila because she’s a spotlight-obsessed asshole but is able to work with her once she undergoes enough character development to willingly become a part of the team and help them instead of opposing them.

Ashera

Real Name: Chloe Bourgeois

Miraculous Wielded: Cat

Chloe was making a mean prank to Marinette when the butterflies arrived and Akumatized Marinette into Princess Justice, who used her judgement powers to punish her for her “crimes”, mind-raping Chloe until she fainted. When she recovered her senses a week had passed and she was in her room alongside a bunch of doctors her father hired in order to help her recover. She then discovered what was happening in Paris and that her father put the entire hotel in lockdown in order to protect all the clients (and her). She spent the weeks following her reawakening complaining about being stuck inside the hotel with nothing to do.

One day, when she ordered a cheese platter for a snack, Plagg, who was still looking for someone worthy of his Miraculous, sneaked inside the building and ate it all, not realizing that Chloe was also in there. After being thrown a bunch of stuff by the scared teen, Plagg calmed down Chloe and explained who he was and what he was looking for, causing her to mistakenly believe that he choose her to become a superhero and save the city. Plagg began laughing at her face and failed to realize until it was too late that a very angry Chloe grabbed the ring and put it on, making her his wielder. Despite not being happy of this, he still decided to let her use it because he was sure that she was going to give it up after a couple of days, severely underestimating her stubbornness.

She's a terrible hero at first due to her tendency to rush at the Akumas without making a plan and her refusal to listen to her partner Crimson Bug because she's convinced that he wants to steal her spotlight... Shame that nobody likes her at first and at best people think of her as Crimson Bug's arrogant sidekick (something that angers her a lot). She starts to change when she begins to help Luka in his out-of-battle activities like distributing food to those in need (which she claims she's doing only to get some good publicity) she starts to become a better person. Slowly but steadily she begins to realize how much of an asshole she is and starts to search for a way to fix it, eventually becoming the ideal hero she wants to be but, despite finally getting respect and admiration of the citizen of Paris, it does not make her feel as happy as she believed she would be, which leads her to realize that the key for her happiness might be something else... but what?

She and Luka hate each other a lot at first, bickering a lot and nearly coming to blows multiple times (Plagg and Tikki basically have to force them to work together at first). It takes her starting to help him assisting those in need for their relationship to start to get better, eventually blossoming into a friendship. She still likes to tease him from time to time, but in a friendly way. She definitively doesn't have a crush on him and if you say the opposite she will deny it.

Her relationship with Sabrina starts as it is in canon and gets rocky the more Sabrina gets involved with their fight against the Akumas, with her being more willing to put her foot down and say no to Chloe. Eventually Sabrina tells her everything she never had the courage to tell her and Chloe admits that all the critics are right and that she's trying really hard to change and become a better person. This leads to them attempting to fix their friendship, but secretly Chloe hopes that when everything is over Sabrina could find a better friend than her.

She flat out hates Lila and she would have already scratched out her throat if Luka and Sabrina wouldn't have stopped her from doing that multiple times. Even later when she joins the squad they cannot be left alone in a room or else they would start to do more than throw insults to each other.

Hamelin

Real Name: Sabrina Raincomprix

Miraculous Wielded: Mouse

Sabrina was in miss Bustier’s classroom when the butterflies invaded the school and began turning the students and teachers into Akumas. She rushed in search of Chloe and found her unconscious on the ground with Princess Justice ready to cut her head off but she managed to distract her and save her “friend”, dragging her out from the school as dozens of Akumas caused havoc around her. They were then rescued by the police who took Chloe to the hospital and brought her to the police station where her father worked. Since then she had been living in it alongside the families of the other policemen who were brought there for their own safety.

At first her role in the team was to find and send useful informations about the Akumas and other stuff to Chloe but she eventually took a more proactive role in organizing plans, analyzing the Akumas in order to find out more about their strengths and weaknesses and making sure Chloe and Luka would cooperate. After she got her Miraculous she became the field leader of the heroes and the one who searches for and rescues civilians that are in the middle of a battle.

She got her Miraculous by pure chance some time after the other heroes made their debut: Mullo began visiting Plagg, Tikki and Trixx some time after they found their wielders in order to see if they were okay and to let them communicate safely with the other Kwamis. During one of these visits she met Sabrina and the two of them got along well (but neither of them wanted to become partners for their own reasons), until the day when one of Volpina’s revenge plans went very wrong and all of them got captured by an Akuma, forcing Sabrina and Mullo to join forces in order to save them, becoming Hamelin. While it was intended to be a one-time only thing Sabrina and Mullo joined forces a few more times until they decided to become permanent partners.

Her relationship with Chloe starts closer to the one in canon but slowly starts to change the more Sabrina gets involved in her fight against the Akumas and becomes more confident in herself. Eventually Sabrina gets enough courage to call out Chloe’s behavior towards her and gives her a massive “the reason why you suck” speech, which Chloe (who in the meantime underwent enough character development to realize how much of an horrible person she is) accepted and leads to them attempting to fix their friendship.

She gets along well with Luka and he tries to help her a lot, but sometimes she feels that he is unintentionally using her as a replacement to Juleka. Despite this, she doesn’t have the courage to tell him that.

Even if she doesn’t trust her at all, she still attempts to be friendly with Lila, if only out of pity because at one point she found out that since her mother got her job Lila has been a permanent New Kid, moving from place to place so often that she failed to form any kind of friendship.

Volpina

Real Name: Lila Rossi

Miraculous Wielded: Fox

She just arrived with her mother, the Italian ambassador of France, in Paris when the incident began and she has been stuck in town ever since because the army refuses to let her and her mom get out of Paris for safety reasons even if the Italian government is pressuring the French one to evacuate them.

Trixx found her and mistakenly believed her to be a good wielder only to find out later that he made the wrong choice. He still regrets it to this day but cannot do anything as long as she wears the necklace.

At first she uses her powers to make illusions of Akumas that she then pretends to defeat in order to become a famous hero but then one day she makes everyone believe that she’s fighting Princess Justice on top of the Tour Eiffel. Cue Ephemeral rushing to save his Princess only to find out that it was just an illusion, angering him so much that he throws Volpina down the building, forcing Crimson Bug and Ashera to save her. Following this incident her reputation takes a pretty big hit and she swears revenge on Ephemeral and the two heroes.

Her character arc is similar to that of Vegeta from Dragonball Z: starts as an asshole villain, becomes an antihero (more emphasis on the anti- part than the hero) loosely allied with Crimson Bug and Ashera, joins the heroes but is still very self-centered and willing to backstab them if it means proving herself the best and eventually becomes more heroic and capable of working in a team.

She dislikes Luka and Chloe a lot for the Ephemeral incident and even if she later joined their team she still dislikes them but at least doesn’t insult them directly.

She gets along better with Sabrina, but she doesn’t thrust her and only hangs with her out of pity since Lila has no friends. Lila knows this but is so desperate to have someone that listens to her that she doesn’t care.

[muzicgenerator]

Hey, can I request an angst story with Bill and reader (the reader is female) abt crazy fans please? Like them (Bill and the reader) admitting somewhere (idk maybe in an interview for a magazine) that they almost broke up because of that (maybe reader's fanbase is known for being "too much" sometimes like following the reader everywhere, being so in love with her etc)

(Also could the story take place in the 2000s please?)

Goodbye 👋

i like this one im actually excited abt writing this one shot

btw im so sorry for late reply AHSJHFKDHDK please expect ill take like AT LEAST a week to answer yalls request bc im busy as hell w school 😭😭 love u guys pls understand

and again this aint entirely proof read

⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒

Too Much?

✮

Pairing: Bill Kaulitz x Fem Reader

Genre: Angst, Mostly fluff

Warnings: Stalking, mention of nonconsensual touching, very embarrassing storytime from bill

Request Status: closed :(

✩°｡⋆⸜ 🎧✮ I'm Not Okay (I Promise) : My Chemical Romance

(Time set back in late November of 2007)

Being a famous actress since as a child was unbelievably tough.

You had worked so hard and expertly; you didn't even have time to spend your childhood properly.

Just at the age of 19 and you've finished numerous movies and series. A true self-made millionaire, really.

You and your ravenette boyfriend are currently doing an interview for a night show.

"So ____, wow! After a long pause from doing films you're finally gonna have one showing soon! How is it like? Being back and all; being the talk of the country."

In the past one and a half year you hadn't done any projects since you've decided to take a break for yourself. And now you're once again busy taping with film staff and directors for your new and upcoming Teenage Romance movie.

Rest assured it's not your typical boy-meets-girl or vice versa and they do sappy sweet stuff and get together kind of film; it has its own uniqueness that will surely be called as "One of 2000s greatest Teen Romance movies of all time."

"Oh, I feel great Hanna. I had a deserving break and I'm back to doing one of the things I love most. I'm even happier because I got my lover and his band to sing the theme song for the movie." You truthfully answered and chuckled by the end of your statement.

"How about you Bill? How are things with your band?" Hanna included Bill to the conversation.

At that, he smiled politely. "Everything's great with us y'know, we're still together and all. Which I'm grateful for."

After a few more minutes for pep talk; the blonde interviewer finally decided to get onto the exciting part of the show.

"And now, for the moment we've all been waiting for! Dunk Tank!" Hanna smiled widely at the selected crowd.

"Where in this game; you will pick someone from the crowd who will accompany you with this game.

Your selected teammate will ask any question they want; to which you will answer, and if you don't want to then they'll get a chance to throw a ball on the target. Where if they hit it, you'll fall down the tank."

Hanna excitedly announced despite having done this for the nth time.

"____ and Bill, play Rock, Paper, Scissors to see who goes first."

You knew you'd beat Bill since every single time you played it - he'd miserably lose.

"Oh, I'm confident in winning this one!" you proudly say.

"Just because you've beat me all the other times we played this, doesn't mean I'll lose now!" Bill accepted your challenge and laughed.

He was right. He won for the very first time.

"Oh my God! Did I seriously win?!" your black clothed boyfriend exclaimed.

"I only let you win this time because I felt sorry." you playfully rolled your eyes with a smirk.

"Whatever, I'm gonna choose now." he giggled and stepped closer to the crowd.

His fan girls were screaming at the top of their lings, begging to be chosen by him.

No, you weren't jealous. Not one bit. Sometimes Bill would even complain about you not being possessive of him from time to time and would think you're not as in love as he thought.

It's cute, really. Then you'll show him how much you love him through actions rather than words.

Bill chose a girl who seemingly looked two or three years younger.

The joyous girl screamed in surprise; "Oh my god! What?! Me??! SERIOUSLY??"

It made Bill giggle, "Yes, you! Now get down here!"

A body guard helped the girl down; and when she was no longer at the stairs she rushed Bill to hug him but abruptly stopped. "Hi oh my god you're more beautiful up close! Can I hug you?!" she says excitingly.

It made your heart flutter just how kinder your boyfriend's fans are compared to yours.

To say your fan base is crazy is an understatement. Many would harass you through nasty words or touching you with no consent; it didn't matter if they did that out of how much they "love" you, it was still disgusting.

"Um, yeah. Sure!" he hesitantly looked at you; his eyes asking for permission. To which you subtly nodded.

Again, your heart melted by how he's making sure you're okay with it. Honestly, you very much understood that being famous would mean people wanting to hug you or any form of physical contact. Plus, it's not like you can say no to Bill from hugging a fan; you'd be a scandal. And you knew Bill wouldn't have any other choice as well.

He wrapped an arm over her shoulders while she fully embraced him. Okay, you're a teensy bit jealous especially by the way she's holding him like he's her man.

But that was soon washed away when she turns to you.

"Hi! What's your name sweetie?" Hanna asked and put a mic on her mouth.

"My name is Pauline!"

Before Hanna could say anything further, Pauline beat her to it.

"____!! I'm such a big fan of you too! I've been watching your movies since forever." saying she's over the moon is definitely an understatement! This will definitely be a core memory.

Almost immediately you wrapped your arms around her back and squeezed her. This girl is definitely one of the most respectable and sweetest fan you've ever met.

Was it really low? Yes.

The audience cheered by how sweet you and Bill had been to the girl and by how jealous they were.

As Bill and Hanna chattered about God knows what; the girl leaned closer to you in order to ask a favour which no one can hear.

"Can I ask you to shout out my brother? He has a huge crush on you!"

"Sorry darling but we're in the middle of a show right now. How about later I ask the staff to send you to the backstage? Then I'll give him my magazine with an autograph, and if you have a camera with you - you can video me saying hi to him!" you came up with a resolution.

Was it over the top? You didn't know and you didn't care. You're just fleeting with joy by how this girl isn't like any other of your fans.

"Seriously? You'd do that for me and my brother?" she gasped.

"Well, yeah. I mean it's not always that I have such nice interactions with people who are a fan."

"Okay lovebirds what are you two talking about there?" Hanna teased with a smirk and Bill playfully pouted.

"Nothing, nothing" you laughed and held Bill's arm as the crowd laughed and cheered.

"If you say sooo." she replied. "Alright, your turn to pick!"

You carefully looked around the crowd and walked five steps of the stairs to get a better view of the people on the back. A fifteen year old boy was holding a banner stating "Bill's No.1 Boy", it was cute, really. So you planned to steal your boyfriend's fan! (this a joke dont hate reader pls)

"The ginger at the back with the banner please." you said to the mic.

The boy squeeled in delight and threw his banner somewhere before running down to you. Your arms opened for an embrace which he immediately jumped into.

"What's your name?" you put the mic to his mouth as you both carefully went down the stairs and back to the stage.

"Sam, I'm Sam! My name is Sam!" his rather high pitched voice said.

"Okay, Sam. I know you're Bill's fan so I'm gonna have to steal you, that okay?"

"Hey, no fair!" Bill patted the boy's head and shot a smile at him.

This moment for him is definitely a core memory and will brag about it to every living human he sees.

"Now, who wants to go first in the tank?" Hanna asked.

"I'll do it" Bill says excitingly.

They agreed and the staff helped him get up. Once he were seated and adjusted in the circular surface; he challenge you.

"Ask a good one!"

"Ohohoo, we definitely will!" you smirked.

You turn to Sam and ask him without the mics near your faces; "What're you gonna ask your idol?"

"Oh uhmm, I don't really know." he says bashfully.

"Maybe his most embarrassing moment?"

"That'll work, definitely." you smile supportively and fist bumped him.

"Bill, you read?!" Hanna exclaimed.

"Born ready!!"

"Alright Sam, ask away!"

"What's the most embarrassing thing that's happened to you?" Sam asked with twinkles in his eyes.

"Oh, definitely when me and ____ weren't dating yet; she threw a sleepover party and she invited me and my mates, and there were three bathrooms, right? The three were being used and in one of those bathrooms it was Tom using it, and I had to rush him because I really needed to take a shit, like I couldn't hold it any farther!

So he went out really pissed and I pushed him off the door and quickly shut it and went right into business."

Bill paused and tried to compose himself as the crowd started to get louder.

"And when I washed and pushed the flush button - It wouldn't flush! So I got really scared because I just shit in my crush's toilet and I can't let anyone know that I'm the one who did it. So i looked around and saw a pack of pads so I took one of them; and forced myself to dip my hand down to grab it and I almost puked!

I look around and see there's no trash bin. So I panic again, and eventually decided I'll just rush down to throw it in the garbage in her garage. I quickly make a run for it and almost bumped into ___"

He now covered his hands in shame and embarrassment. "And she saw the pad in my hand! So she asked me like, 'Is that a pad?' and I'm like yes and so she asks whose it is...... and I said it's mine....."

You know of this story long ago; and it just gets better and better whenever you think or hear of it.

The audience and interviewer roared with laughter; as well as the staff behind and securities who tried to contain their smiles.

"I wish I never asked!" Sam wiped his tears from laughing too hard.

"Get down here Bill! That was too much!" Hanna's cheeks started to hurt, "Sorry to the viewers who are eating."

Bill went down immediately and squeezed the living life out of you. He does this whenever he's feeling embarrassed or nervous, and calls it his "Physical Support" from you.

"You should've let yourself get thrown in the water!" you giggled and hugged him back before he pulled away with a red face.

"Next goes ____!"

Once you were seated and made yourself comfortable on the seat; you tell them you're ready.

It was Pauline's turn to question whatever she wishes. "____, what do you think of your fans?"

She asks sincerely; she must've noticed something by the way you're like to your fan base and to Bill's. A part of you wished she hadn't asked but you've been dying to let the creepers out there know that whatever they'd been doing to you for a long long time - greatly affects you, especially as a young stat growing up in this sort of industry.

You rarely held any meet and greet, rarely had photos with fans where you look actually comfortable and where they weren't touching your waist or hips or near your ass - and ones where you do look comfortable it was mostly with girls or kids, which was not as often as when you do with the rest; who are pedophiles and creepy boys.

Of course you've always been nice when interacting with them; you didn't want to be rude and only wanted to be kind.

Definitely, there were times when you couldn't take it and couldn't do anything about it - other than cry and complain in your lover's arms.

You're forever thankful to have someone like him; he'd always listen to whatever you say and support everything you do.

Not realising; you zoned out quite a bit and snapped out of it when Bill called out your name with worry that he's trying to mask from everyone.

"Oh-, well, obviously I love them so much, if it weren't for them I wouldn't have succeed this much - of course the people who helped me get up in this industry as well.

I truly do appreciate their love and support, seriously. But quite the number of them are uh, how do I say this." you nervously chuckled as everyone listened intently to the tea you're telling.

"Crossing my boundaries? Yes, uh- that." you say not quite satisfied with the word you chose. It was evident that it's worse than just that but the safest.

"We all know people would cross it by taking unsolicited pictures of you, that's given because you're a celebrity, but are there some other ways they would? If you don't mind me asking of course." Hanna carefully asked.

You smiled softly, "Well a few have stalked me to my house - which I dunno how the hell they did so and took pictures of me and they'd send it to me and tell me how they thought of me. Some leave love letters, flowers, food in front of my gate, sent death threats to my exes when I was dating them and even now to my Bill." you left the worse parts out since you didn't want half of the world to be talking about your most private part of life. What you're even telling them now is a whole lot.

"Wow.. we all knew your fan base could get a bit crazy judging from all the videos we see and the news, but not by this much!" Hanna says empathetically.

"It happens, I guess." you try to laugh it off. However, Bill looked at your hues with his that sent the message of "Are you okay?"

In which yours replied with "I'm not okay."

✮✮✮

The game went on a for it was Pauline's turn to the dunk tank, then Sam's.

You continued your cheery self through the whole taping and told yourself you'll regret what you said later in your dressing room. Bill kept his distance close to you and would caress your hand or shoulder as a sign of support - as well as slipping a "How're you holding up?" every now and then.

If there were billions of ways to show gratitude to this man; you'd do every single one of it to him.

After the agonizing show was over; you and Bill kissed Hanna's cheeks as a goodbye and thank you. To which she said back to you both as well and wished to see you soon.

As you made your way to the dressing room in silence with your fingers intertwined with Bill's; you abruptly stop in your tracks.

"I almost forgot I have to sign a magazine for Pauline!"

Your lover looked confused for a second "What? Why?"

"I kinda promised Pauline I'll just sign a magazine for her brother because she asked me to shout him out while taping." you let a small huff and loosened your grip on your boyfriend's slender hand. "How about I'll see you later in the van? You can wait for me there instead if I haven't been back by five minutes."

Bill smiled, "Of course sweetheart, I'll see you later. Love you." he pecked your lips and lovingly looked into your eyes for a moment before heading to his dressing room.

Quickly; you asked a staff to bring Pauline to your dressing room to give her an autograph - to which they agreed to. Thankfully.

While they did that, you strided to your room and grabbed your magazine and marker - which immediately after doing so, a knock was heard on your door.

You hand held the paper as the other gripped the violet ink marker. When you did, you were greeted by a Pauline smiling widely with a camera on her right hand.

"Hi!" she says excitingly.

You greet back and quickly hugged her, "I see you have a camera with you."

"Oh, yes, uhm.. I was wondering if i can take a video of you signing an autograph? So my brother would believe me that it really is from you." she nervously giggled. "I might or might now have pranked him once by giving him a fake autograph."

"Yeah, sure. What's your brother's name?" you say softly.

"It's Percy." she answers as she readies her camera.

"Alright, is it rolling?" you ask with a smile on your face. Pauline says yes with a grateful smile; grateful for being how considerate and kind you are.

"Hi Paul! So I heard from your sister that you're a fan? Too bad you didn't come with her." you looked behind the camera to Pauline.

"And I heard she gave you a fake autograph of mine? Well now, you're getting a real one, and this is the proof." you say still giggling as you signed the magazine.

"There, and keep the pen. I gotta go now, bye and love you!" you say as you waved goodbye and gave your iconic kiss blow alongside a wink.

Once Pauline returned the camera back to her bag; she immediately thanked you.

"I'm serious - thank you thank you sooo much! And uh.. I'm really sorry if what I asked earlier was too personal. I really am. I was just curious and didn't thoroughly before it slipped my mouth." she noticed the change of the atmosphere long ago. Even if she's just fifteen, she knew how to read the room well.

"Aw, sweetie.. it's nothing." you pat her shoulder, "It's fine I tell ya, also I better get going - you should too, it'll get dark in just two hours. Bye bye and stay safe!" you wave goodbye as she still exclaimed thank you's as she walked backwards towards the exit.

(that footage is definitely gonna go viral after many years)

In a light speed; you gathered your essential belongings and had your personal assistant help you carry your other belongings to the van; to which Bill noticed through the windows that you're carrying back pack and a purse and immediately helped you despite having it under perfect control.

He opened the door for you and let you in first before him and closed the door. Your personal assistant sat in the passenger seat next to the driver, while you and your beloved were at the very back despite the space up front.

You rested your head on his shoulder and he put his above yours while he held your hand with both of his; tracing every outline, massaging it, and kissing it once in a while.

"R'you okay now?" Bill mumbled and kissed your head.

"Yes, hon. I'm great actually.. thanks so much for being there, I love you so much." you turn your head to face his and pecked his lips.

"I love you more than you'll ever know, I'm glad you're okay." he smiled genuinely and kissed you deep and passionate.

You returned to your head's original position and fell to sleep; not caring if tomorrow, you'll be the town's talk.

[achildsfirstsorrow]

hi! i think leontide is really cool, her art is so pretty & the writing is interesting -- could you share a bit more about her? (:

Hi! sorry I didn’t answer this earlier,, I was either asleep or busy ;_;…

But yes I can!!

((I kind of base my POTO writing around it being set in 1880 just because that’s easier than specifying if it’s about 1878-1885 or whatever haha.. ALSO if you wanna scroll there's an incredibly lazy TL;DR and art.))

SO. ONTO LEONTINE! This is going to be cut short but it is STILL rather long.

She was born about 1855 – making her about twenty five during the events of POTO in Grigny (sort of near Paris, about thirteen miles.) She also didn’t live as long.. She lived to be about twenty seven in the main version of her story, but forty in an alternative one. 

Her full name is Leontine Vaillancourt // Leontine Charbonnier depending on which ver of her story! She worked as a stagehand (or atleast did) for a period of around three years (22-25) along with Joseph Buquet. This was because Joseph took her in and gave her a place to stay when she was 18, after meeting her in an inn. 

Buquet basically acted as a friend and brother figure to her (I refuse to make him nasty sorry Buquet haters i’m going to parry you.) up until his death, since both of them could share the (small) income they made with their separate jobs, Buquet obviously working on the stages and Leon working as a maid outside of the Opera House for a few years, until Buquet managed to find her a job as a seamstress and stagehand.

Because I am terrible and believe in making OCxCanon that annoys people! Yes, she’s shipped with Erik and it is not fun and happy. 

Onto how she actually MET Erik, she met him around when she worked with Buquet, because she nearly knocked him out with a weight for the stage backdrops (very cliched I know but..) and had to help a very dazed Erik out – she mistook him for someone who just frequented the Opera instead, despite the rumours about the Opera Ghost stuff which she thought was nonsense DESPITE Buquet trying to tell her that they were true. 

She sort of became acquainted with Erik after Joseph dying, and whilst it wasn’t really a friendship or anything he did see her as a basic needs to an end (because no I won’t make Erik a nice person muahahah.) 

Erik didn’t let on that he had killed him when the events of POTO basically started, and Leontine still thought he was just a rich Opera-goer, so didn’t question too much. Mostly because she was grieving, and due to the fact to cope with said grief she turned to alcohol and other means a lot. 

Due to Erik obviously setting his sights on Christine and stuff, he basically chose to view Leontine as someone he could - for lack of a better phrasing - get what he couldn’t get from Christine from. Erik being a massive asshole, took advantage of the fact she would be drunk sometimes (Not sexual advantage. Thanks.) to get pity from Leon and manipulated her emotionally a LOT. 

However she wasn’t very nice either – and treated Erik with a lot of disregard etc etc, use the fact he was a lot richer to basically extort what she wanted from him etc. 

Eventually she killed herself and there’s a lot more until then but that was ALSO Erik’s fault, as much as I love Erik I refuse to be nice. 

There’s a lot more but here’s some stuff that scrapes it, since i’d be here for much longer trying to explain it. 

TL;DR :

Leontine born in 1850s in poorer part of France

Moved to Paris in late teens/ early 20s

Stayed with Joseph Buquet and worked at Opera House

Became a stagehand

Joseph died

Met Erik via nearly killing him by accident

Sought him out after a while and started very very messy ‘relationship’

Sang and did some performance stuff for a while

  Fuckin’ died.

Also she's a ginger. sorry world.

I have a bunch of art of her, but it's pretty old and I need to redraw it.. so you'll get that soon ya'll sorry. Here's some old doodles anyway though;

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

I vibe with hyperfixating w/ characters. To varying degrees I’ve fixated on: Armin from AOT for a while, 1D had a DEATH GRIP on me for a few years, (SEVEAL book characters through my teen years)I had an Alucard from castlevania fixation for maybe 3 ish years (‘ending’ only recently) and now Hobes lives in my head rent free ngl.

I get the “being sad cuz you can’t meet them” part, I’ve felt it. I try to not daydream TOO much cuz otherwise it takes over my life and I’m doing a considerable effort to live OUT of my own head, but BOI do I LOVE just daydreaming about my blorbos of choice.

I don’t speak too much about it (mostly the daydreaming) cuz to an extent it feels like a “me thing” (like something I don’t wanna share with anyone cuz it’s special to me), but if given the chance I DO info dump on my fixations.

I don’t think it’s cringe, not at all. These things are stuff that helps us process the world and our experiences with it. I believe everyone has sensitive weird shit that they don’t talk about, but if there’s something Ive learned is that we hardly ever have completely unique experiences. Most people just hide their oddness. Fandom being a prime example of how much our blorbos can mean to us. I think it’s okay and normal. (Until it goes overboard and people send idk violent messages to others because they headcanon something differently idk, the unreasonable stuff imo)

Can’t believe our of everything people would dare to make JOY and INTEREST the things with negative connotations. Being mean should be cringe, being a bully should be embarrassing. But unashamedly enjoying stuff?? That’s wonderful.

Anyone too embarrassed of their own vulnerability that they deal with it by making others feel bad about their interests are the most immature out if all of us.

Joy is everything that’s good with the world.

Even just seeing the letter 1D makes me wanna scream (in a good way!!) cause it takes me back to high school lol 1D was a bit older than me so my grade had Mindless Behaviour (does anyone remember them, where they even popular) but I remember the days where 1D was like the definition of summer songs

And I can totally understand the 'me thing'. Like I never really spoke about it but I felt like I knew my daydreams were more substantial or vivid than the 'average person' so to say.

Or when I spoke about characters to other people, I understood that neurotypicals likes characters, but they often didn't see them as fully formed 'persons' in the way I do - as to say, they didn't speculate or see emotional backstory, connections, or their behavior the way I did.

I never really shared any of my daydreams because like - I can't even get into it that's like asking someone to explain Star Wars to someone who doesn't even know space travel exists.

I grew up in a time on the internet where self-inserts and OC were seen as cringe, and someone would be very quick to call out 'Mary-Sue's (or flawless OCs) whenever they could.

It's not like that now - but in juxtaposition to canon x canon shipping, that bias is still there I feel like. Like it, as a work of fandom art has less 'value' that art or fics of canon only characters

It kinda bums me out still.

I think OC and daydreams and self-indulgent inserts are all the best part of fandom because it's the purest way of fans connecting with content on a personal level.

I'm happy that I see more people pushing back on that lately. Like after years of seeing people viciously hate furries when most of them seem like very nice, fun people, it's refreshing for people to be like 'nah, actually this thing is cool. and im gonna spend of time and/or money on this thing cause i makes me happy;

like you remember when the new Star Wars movie trailers came out and that dude reacted to it and he was moved to tears and people made fun of him??

yeah fuck everyone else that dude knows whats up.

Like yes, openly cry to your faves. Fantasize deep meaningful daydreams that help you process your feelings. Draw your OC with them, or learn every single thing their is to know about them.

That's why I wanted to talk about this. Because I've never heard it spoken about before. Maladaptive daydreaming, yes - and that can be harmful. But I hardly ever hear people talk about the basic mundane experience of it - or even how it can enrich our lives and help us emotionally develop of neurodivergent people.

When I think of it that way, it's something that makes me happy. I don't think I'll ever be able to describe it fully, and that's the point. Our stories are private to us, not because theyre embarrassing, but because they're so us that to even describe it would like describing a new world top to bottom

I love it. It's what makes humans humans.

[jonesyjonesyjonesy]

ok so this is weird but i felt like you would maybe understand me and i needed to rant. so i'm in my 20s, and i've always been attracted to older men, old rockstars, fictional characters, famous people, you know the stuff. when i was younger it was more normal cause why would i crush on a 16 yr old boy right? i've had a relationship and a few flirts but nothing actually real happened. fast forward to my 20s, i start to actually have feeling for people in my age group. but anytime i have the massive crush on someone i can never get them to crush on me back. and i'm like, social, have hobbies - you know, i'm not like i'm isolating myself from people. i don't know how to say this without sounding weird but i don't think i'm particularly unattractive either. i mean i'm no VS model but you don't need to be that to experience love, right? each time i get my hopes high up about finally my crush/s liking me back it never happens, i get over them and go back to my old ways - obsessively crushing on rockstars and famous people. making playlists and pinterest boards for people i'll probably never even meet in real life. and it makes me feel like such a loser because i'm a grown ass adult. people my age get married and have babies. and i'm not one of those people who believe fandoms are for teens only but at this point it's not even that much about the art for me anymore, it's purely romantic and sexual. i'm pretty certain it's a coping mechanism for the lack of intimacy and sexuality in my life. i've basically wasted my young years without experiencing teenage love and turns out my 20s aren't different either. i feel like i'm the only person in the world who's in this situation and at this point i feel like i'm just not meant to experience romance of any kind. i'll just spend my life yearning for people i'll only get to touch in my dreams and that's it. sorry i just needed to get this off my chest, i hope you're having a good day x

Oh my dear...the 20s are a truly horrible time. I'm in late stage twenties and i'm only starting to really love life. 27 was my turning point.

The great thing about our blorbos is that they'll always love us back even if they don't actually know us. It's the Almost Famous of it all.

The truth is, these obsessions can coexist with our irl romantic life. But I understand the pain of wanting to have that chance at romance and it not feeling like it loves you back.

You're doing great. I bet you're beautiful. And people who are already getting married and having kids, that's their journey. I sometimes get jealous, particularly of women who already have kids because I want to be a mother so badly but I also know I'm not ready.

I'm sure there are people who look at you and think, wow what I would do with all that freedom.

i'm pretty certain it's a coping mechanism for the lack of intimacy and sexuality in my life. i've basically wasted my young years without experiencing teenage love and turns out my 20s aren't different either. i feel like i'm the only person in the world who's in this situation and at this point i feel like i'm just not meant to experience romance of any kind.

I can guarantee you're not the only one feeling this way. There's actually a sociological thing happening where people are avoiding relationships, especially women because now we aren't going to fucking settle for emotionally unintelligent men (assuming you're looking to be in a het relationship).

I am sure people will see this post and be like damn yeah that's me too. I wasn't in my first relationship until I was 22 and that was only a year and a half. I've dated so fucking much on dating apps and been miserable over. I've just gotten into my first relationship in almost five years because I just couldn't suffer fools.

You're stronger than you know. I know how isolating it can feel.

The joke about dating and crushes is you can't use the notion that "insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result". You have to keep that hope alive, have to keep showing up and having an open heart.

I've been rejected so many times. But I've learned over the years actually it's not a me problem. It's a them problem. You are wonderful in so many ways, anon (I just know it). You just haven't found the person that is ready for that. All it takes is one.

Don't give up. My asks are always open. Sweet bean, I love you!

[shoppingshoppingshoppingshopping]

What It Wasn’t That It Isn’t - New Album!

Listen/purchase: What It Wasn't That It Isn't by Local Teen

Aye yo!

New album!

So these tunes were started late 2018 early 2019. It took maybe 6 months to shape them into what they are now. Actually, lemme go check on that. I looked at the file dates and it looks like I started shaping these in early Feb 2023 so that's about 4-5 months. I have probably 100+ songs to shape up and finish so at this rate it's going to take me 4-5 years to where I am releasing songs I wrote within the past 6 months. I am getting better at making songwriting and production choices that make the process faster but change is glacial. Like I finally figured out that I need to carve out 100-150hz for the bass to be heard on the bluetooth speaker I use to check my mixes on. Usually that means I can hear it in my airpods which are not known for decent bass. Anyway, Let's move on. I finally got diagnosed with ADHD last year so if it's obvious to you that tangents can take me away from my original point then good for you for figuring it out wayyy before I did.

ok first song:

Living in a fantasy: This one goes hand in hand with another song on the album. I won't say which but they both have the same chords. I came up with a chord structure I love and tried it maybe 8 different ways. I kept working on each version until I ended up with 2 completely different sounding songs. I didn't make a conscious choice to make them different. I just kept following what it sounded like and seeing what my subconscious wanted to add to these songs. Even now when I hear them they do not sound like to my ears at all. The lesson here (and I am saying this to myself) is that you can completely steal from someone else and still make it your own. So don’t worry that someone else will notice. It’s not a ripoff if it’s coming from your nondecision making place.

I love the drums on this. That beat comes so naturally to me that I can play it reasonably in time with very very few edits to the drums. Unlike other beats where there’s a lot of chopping up to make it sound like a decent drummer is on the track. (I’m not a good drummer but boy do I love playing drums).

I spent a lot of time shaping these words to make sense. I usually hear a line in my head then lay it down and listen back. Often my first choices are so cringe. Like “will you be cool when I put up a fight” was originally “will you be cool or put up a fight” and that sounded super rapey. Then when I switched it to the narrator's point of view that was way more interesting since it’s a dude saying it. This song also was way longer. Keith tells me my songs are often too long so I chopped it down before I even sent it to him.

Also, I fucking HATE when dogs jump on me. That had just happened twice that week when I sang the line “keep that goddamn dog away from me”. It should have been cathartic but instead it's just kind of bringing me back to that awful powerless, unsafe feeling (I’m avoiding saying “Trauma” here because I dislike the overuse of the term in pop culture but this is the term my therapist uses and I think devalues its meaning). I often explore the bad feelings I have in my music. But I’m pretty sure that doesn’t make things feel better when they come up. But it’s better in that it’s out there and I can accept who I am a little more. And that’s a big chunk of what making music brings me is closer to self acceptance. I make what I make and I need to feel happy that I can make stuff and not feel bad that I can’t make stuff that appeals to more people or meets the standards I want to hit.

At the end of the song is a clip of my baby girl that I recorded as a drop for the how neal feel podcast which I sprinkled in I think one more time on the record.

2 tengo miedo - means “I’m scared” in spanish. And I do hate when people say “I’m not going to lie”. I get that it’s supposed to sound like they are being honest but really what I hear is “I usually lie but in this rare case I will tell the truth”. Also “tengo miedo” is more fun to sing than “im scared”. It’s hard to put some english (billiards term! And a pun!) on those syllables.

This song was not intentionally meant to sound like someone else’s song but by the time I was almost done I realized I kind of came really close to a famous indie rock song. I’m not gonna say which one. You’ll have to figure it out.

My baby girl sings on this one. In the last chorus she’s layered in with me.

Keith says I did a reggie and the full effect thing with the synths at the end. I dig some of the reggie ideas, never liked the sound. I was going for that Rentals/Blue Album B-side/I just threw out the love of my dreams kind of vibe. That’s how you do synths over fuzzy gtrs. The cars did it well too. Most every punk and indie band of the late 90s early 00s did it badly.

3 I dont care what theyve got on me: I recall this song coming together really quickly. Hearing all the parts as soon as the chords came out of fingers. The drums sound a little like samples to me but I swear they’re real. I have no idea how I got that snare sound. I must have tuned it in a unique way and changed mic placement. It’s all there on the track if you solo it.

I dunno why but writing about fraud and crime comes so easily sometimes. I love love love crime movies. Probably since Goodfellas had a huge impact on me as yoot.

Big homey Dov sent a voice recording to our whatsapp group and it’s at the end of this song cuz it made me laugh and I wanted to give you lay-down-in-the-dark headphone listeners some ear candy to discover.

4: I was watching a movie depicting an extremely stressful and lonely situation and it hit me: This is what my inner childhood body feels like. Alone, lost, no one to help, no one to protect me, no one I can trust. “There’s no hope, no love, no safety, no belonging.” Those lyrics just came out. There was no need to think about it. It was all there. In the pre-chorus I am saying “Coño” which if you google will say It’s used as a vulgar term for vagina. That is not how I know it or use it (or like it). I use it in the Miami way which you say when a bad situation presents itself. Kinda like, “son of a bitch” or “ain’t that a bitch” or “damn, bro!”. When I lived in Miami it would often get shortened to just “...ño” which, to you non speakers, you say with an extra Y sound on it like in “onion” so it’s more like “conyo” with a lot of accent on the “ny” the worse the situation is like a smashed big toe or shat pants or dropping your cortado on your brand new car seat covers.

5: round 3 with beth - I’m already running out of steam here writing these liner notes but I think I recorded the guitars and they felt like something I had done before so I chopped them up and came up with a new chord structure and rhythm. I then played them back over the new idea and layered them up. I’m about 60% sure of this but don’t feel like opening up the ableton session to see what really happened cuz as the saying goes “art is a lie that tells the truth”. I heard that quote this week and I like it.

6: pay me in guitars - I usually write music before melody and lyrics. This title came to me when I had to pick a file name to save what I had recorded. It’s a good title. I am saying “crack” the way Kurt does in Lithium with that weird A sound “Crayck”. That’s a nice lil nod to my teenage man crush.

The end was so hard to mix correctly. It was initially a crazy wall of sound that to me sounded awesome. I could hear all the melodic ideas in there. But when I took a break from it and came back weeks later it was just too much noise noise noise. So I cut most of that out and played up one of the 20 guitars I layered because I came up with some jazzy chords that sounded awesome. I don’t know what they are called but I know I’ve seen them used in Radiohead guitar tabs. You basically take the high octave and flatten by a half step. They’re sad and dissonant and sound best on not super distorted guitars

7: walts got a hernia - I think I stole these chords from a song my friend keith wrote. I realized they were a staple of pop punk and don’t think I’ve ever used them before. Also, for one brief moment there’s a riff in there that might be the same as maybe one of the biggest pop punk songs of all time. I only realized this way after the fact. Funny how the songs you love sneak their bits and bobs into the songs you make. I recorded all the guitars in one go. I had the session up on my computer (I usually have a song open at all times so that when I have to work I can indulge my ADHD and hit record and see if anything comes to me).

Story: IIRC Walt came over to hang out and made me touch his gorgeous man abs to see if the weird thing he was feeling was a hernia. After he left I went to the basement studio to probably check work email and instead hit record. All these words and vocals and melodies came out with zero forethought in one straight take…. As my favorite rappers say “off the dome”. And I can hear the difference in the melody and lyrics. It’s got spaces and fills and call backs I have never used consciously before.

I tried rerecording the vocals a few times but nothing ever came close to the natural laid back delivery I had the first time. I realized that what I had was actually cool. So it stayed and I made it work with some clever edits you can’t hear.

8 yesenia - I was listening/watching so much of the bodega boys when I wrote this. I was picturing Mero’s sassy Yesenia character and my desires to court the gorgeous and stop-your-clownin’ Dominican woman I imagined.

OK I’m all out of energy. I’ve been writing for an hour straight. The rest of the songs are all stuff I wrote for the How Neal Feel podcast. Why aren’t they all on their own release? Well I spent 2 fucking weeks prepping probably 80 fucking songs on 6 different albums (where I created unique artwork for each) I wrote for podcasts/commercials/shows that happen to be 30 seconds long or less.

So why didn’t they get released?

And now we get to modern tech platforms ruining art.

First: if a track isn’t 30 seconds or longer and you can’t get paid for a stream.

Second, they will not allow an album where the average song length is less than 60 seconds. So at the end of this record it had to go. I get why they have to do that but still. Fuck them. How about instead of a blanket policy you allow some carve outs for people not trying to scam the system by uploading 30 seconds of noise with the same song titles as other artists? I mean clearly this can be fixed if humans are incharge and not algos.

They would say, “there isn’t a single streaming platform that has ever turned a profit. Do you know the cost it would take to hire and train that many people?”.

I say fair point.

But then let me counter with: that’s cuz y’all made a shitty deal with the major labels when you set such low streaming rates that now kinda fucks all artists except the top 1%.

The whole system is screwed up and I get the economic realities the companies have to deal with. Hopefully AI can help automate some of this and a feller like me who makes music every day with an addiction like dedication can make a modest living from his art one day. “From my lips to gods ears” as my dad likes to say.

I honestly dream about waking up and having a solid 6-8 hours every day to make music in between bouts of building stuff, painting stuff, playing games and what not. And enough to live near a warm ocean with waves. I think I’d really like surfing. That would be just the greatest. So share this with people that might like it. The more listeners I get the more music I can put out and maybe one day this can be my full time job.

Jah Bless.

Credits: R and E sang on stuff. Dov makes an appearance. Keith gave me feedback. Trevor too. I played, recorded, mixed and did everything else.