#and that WAS the logical conclusion to her not questioning her brainwashing and indoctrination enough | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

honhonluigi · 4 years ago

Note

I'm curious. You've said you dislike religion (which is valid as fuck and I have the same opinion), but if that's the case then why is Angie one of your favorite characters?

(I don't mean anything offensive or anything by this, by the way! If it makes you uncomfortable feel free to delete it.)

No, no, man, I totally get it. I’m sure it looks confusing from the outside. I can explain myself no problem.

I guess it’s probably important to give a little explanation of why I hate religion so much, because it’ll make more sense then. I don’t hate religion because I’m an atheist. I am an atheist because of evidence and facts. Because I want to draw my conclusions based on fact and evidence. If I saw what I thought was undeniable proof of any god’s existence, I’d change my mind. Nah, I hate religion because I was raised in a cult. Not like a “my parents were heavily evangelical/strict” way. My parents were actual official members in an actual cult, listed as a cult by government officials (though they’re considering removing it from the list which would be a supremely bad idea.) You look up all the fucked up things that cults do? Those lists of “How To Tell If You’re In A Cult?” You’re describing this religion to a tee. It gets an A+ in every aspect of cultism. It wasn’t a cape-and-fire-chanting-in-the-woods cult. Those aren’t real. This was a Christian-based cult. (Most real-life cults are. Aside from like...Scientology maybe?) But they weren’t just Christians who took it seriously, like I said. It was a separate cult religion and the entire religion is officially cited as a cult. It was just Christianity-based. See if you can guess what it is. Based on the clues I gave I’d say there’s like...two choices.

Anyway, that’s why I hate religion. Because I’ve seen and suffered first-hand all the damage that religion can cause innocent people. Not just in religious wars and acts of prejudice, but just in individual thought and life control aspects and so much fucking trauma. In torment and guilt and wasted years. In passed opportunities and ended relationships and sexual repression. Religion sucks. (In my opinion, all religions are fundamentally cults at their core. Or they would be, if the worshippers actually adhered strictly to the rules that they made. Which they usually don’t, hence why most mainstream religions aren’t thought of as cults.) I hate religion for the core principles of ‘sinning’, hell/heaven/paradise, good vs evil, thought-crime, religion-over-family, faith, not thinking for yourself, and believing whatever you’re told. That’s so damaging. But I don’t hate religion just because “lol it’s so stupid, I can’t believe people believe that shit!” or “religion is just too mainstream for me!” I can see why people would believe that in the old days, when things couldn’t be explained by science. I hate all religions, even the non-mainstream ones like wicca and shit. And I actually think studying ancient religions is really interesting. It’s an aspect of culture, and I can respect that.

What does this have to do with my opinion of Angie? A lot, actually. I didn’t just go off on a religion rant for no reason.

So, for starter’s, I don’t hate religion because I think it’s “too stupid to be believable” or that being religious is “too mainstream”, like I said. I don’t look down on religious people for being stupid, gullible, or trend-followers (more on that later.) That means that I can still respect Angie as a person, even if she’s religious. That’s important to know going forward.

But the main reason is, I hate religion, not religious people. I hate the institution of religion, any religion. I hate the ideas that it carries and the practices it puts into play. But Angie is not any of those things. She’s just a person. She’s not responsible for any of the things that any religion, including hers, will do. She just believes in it. She, as a person, is not the thing that is doing all the damage I hate so much. Maybe her religion is, but she as an individual is not.

Religious people are victims. I know. I was there. 10 years ago, I was an indoctrinated, god-obsessed homophobe, shivering in anticipation of a doomsday when god slaughtered billions of sinners. I won’t say I was different, and I always knew something was wrong about religion. No, I believed like everyone else. I was indoctrinated as much anybody. Religious people can’t help what they believe. They are the victims of peer pressure, cultural expectations, propaganda, lack of information/education, deliberate thought control, family pressures, and many other factors. Trust me when I say: they really can’t control what they believe. That’s why it’s pointless to argue with them. Their beliefs don’t come from logic. They are all victims. And I see everyone in my former cult as a victim, not an enemy. They really can’t help it. I can’t express that enough.

So it’s not Angie’s fault that she’s so deeply ingrained in a religion. It’s not a character flaw for her, and it doesn’t make her evil or bad. In fact, it makes me like her more. I feel sorry for her. I sympathize with her. I was exactly where she was when I was 13. I know to everyone else, Angie’s religion is just a caricature or a joke. But to me, it makes her character deeper, more interesting, and sadder.

Also, Angie’s not a cultist. Oh, this one makes me so mad. Everyone who says “Angie is in a cult!” or “Angie became a cult leader!” has absolutely no idea what an actual cult is like. The DR writers don’t know. The fans don’t know. It’s nothing like what Angie does. She never becomes a cult leader. Trust me. I would fucking know.

When she becomes Student Council President or w/e, the Student Council has nothing to do with her religion. She’s doing that because she believes she knows what’s best to stop people from killing each other. She’s not doing it because “my religion is right and you all need to convert!” Otherwise, she’d have done that at the start. The rules she makes, like the night time curfew, have nothing to do with religion. (Also, her rules about flashback lights and night time curfews were completely correct and were good ideas, but go off I guess.) Yeah, she might say “Atua told me to do this!” But all hyper-religious people credit their creativity, ideas, or achievements to god. Whether or not those had anything to do with religion. She’s doing it because she has ideas that she thinks can help, not because she wants to push her religion.

Case in point: in order to join her Student Council, you don’t have to believe in Atua. You don’t have to convert. K1-B0 and Himiko make that choice, but Tsumugi and Tenko don’t. And Angie doesn’t care. You’re allowed to be one of their group without sharing Angie’s religion. And once Angie’s Student Council is in power, then what? Fucking nothing. She doesn’t force anyone else to convert to her religion either. Even the people who didn’t join the student council. They’re allowed to not believe. She never approaches them being like “you have to join my religion now that I’m in power.” And she still treats Shuichi and Kaito as politely and friendly as always. (Not Maki and Kokichi, but for obvious reasons. She was right not to trust Maki, after what they learned about her.) Angie not once ever uses her power to push or pressure or threaten or force anyone to worship Atua with her. It doesn’t happen. She’s not a cult leader. If she was, it wouldn’t be optional. There would be grotesque amounts of threats, social isolation, pressure, etc even to those in her own student council if they didn’t believe. I won’t go into detail here, but trust me, it would be so fucking different if her little group actually followed the criteria for being a cult. Even when Tenko goes behind Angie’s back and escorts Shuichi into the school after dark, Angie doesn’t threaten her or oust her. She forgives her. She doesn’t say “no one is ever allowed to talk to you again” or “you have to do a horrible punishment” or “you have to die”. She just...forgives her. Yeah, she insults her a little, but she has a right to be angry after being lied to, betrayed, and used by Tenko. Still, she forgives her. Also: Tenko being in the school after dark and Angie being upset at that has nothing to do with Angie’s religion at all. The rule of not being out after dark doesn’t either.

Also, her actions before her rise to power weren’t culty either. Angie never pushed her religion on anyone. I hate people like that. People who want to force others to believe the way they do. They’re the fucking worst and the scum of the earth. Some of the worst, most evil people alive, in my opinion. Angie’s not like that. She only talked to people about her religion if they asked her. As she explained to Tenko “I wasn’t brainwashing anyone. I was just answering questions.” Himiko, Gonta, and K1-B0 asked her questions because they were curious about her religion. She answered them. When they showed interest, she kept talking to them about it. They were the ones who said they wanted to convert. She never even asked them. And then when they wanted to, she welcomed them with open arms. They approached her. All she did was speak openly and honestly with them. She never forced anyone to convert to her religion. She never even forced anyone to listen to her talk about her religion. When Kaede and Shuichi got uncomfortable about it and changed the subject, she let it fucking go. She stopped talking about it. She never made the first move when talking to someone about Atua. They always approached her first. That’s definitely not culty. That’s just a religious person being honest when they’re asked questions, or getting excited when someone shows genuine interest in their beliefs. Of course she would be excited. These are her friends, and she truly believes that her religion is correct. She would be happy to see them safely in it. In her eyes, it’s the only place where they’re safe. Also, if she was truly a bad religious person, she would think that everyone who didn’t convert to her religion deserved to die. Mark of cults. But she doesn’t. She loves all her classmates, tries to keep them safe, and prays for them when they do die. Also, she believes that they get into Atua’s kingdom simply for being good people, even when they don’t believe in him. That’s definitely not culty. A cult is like “everyone who doesn’t worship like you is always evil, and they always deserve to die, and if they don’t convert then they are not worth saving. If you don’t believe in our religion you will definitely be killed at judgement day no matter what.”

But, most importantly: Angie’s religion is not the only aspect of her character. Angie’s religion actually has nothing to do with my opinion of her. I like her because she’s cute, bright, hopeful, happy, and persistent. She’s kind and selfless and she tries her best to keep everyone happy. She’s confident in herself, even if other people ridicule her. She’s got an interesting twisted side to her, with her composure in the face of death and her desire for blood sacrifices. But that doesn’t stop her from being kind and friendly to everyone. And she’s surprisingly smart, in her own ways. And appropriately ruthless when going after her goals, which is always something I admire. (I loved that she was willing to turn on Himiko when it seemed obvious that Himiko was the culprit, instead of obnoxiously ignoring facts like Tenko. Um, hello? If Himiko is the culprit, you all die? And if she’s the culprit, she’s trying to kill everyone, which kind of gives Angie the right to revoke her friendship from Himiko, yeah?) Angie’s character goes so much deeper than her religion. As far as her religion influencing my opinion of her, it...doesn’t. I pretty much just ignore it. I love her for who she is, not what she believes.

4 notes · View notes

hiskidsarerunning · 5 years ago

Text

Pretty simple. I’ve been thinking about this issue for a while. In my first hearing of all this I became frustrated because, from my experience, aggression towards the aggressor doesn’t normally yield successful results (in response to the violence occurring throughout the protests). I thought so because I’ve been fighting control for a long time and I’ve exhausted my methods and have hardly begun to yield successful results through it. I want BLM to succeed. I spoke out strongly against my lil powerhouse-of-a-oppressor until my face turned blue and, after much wear and tear, I just ended up having a mental breakdown instead. So I wondered, how would this do the trick in teaching the oppressors how to treat the oppressed? The way we treat others teaches others how to treat us—if they have compassion/empathy. But hang on—I talked to my friends and remembered that it’s not about what’s happening but, rather, why it’s happening and it’s incredibly important not to lose sight of this. I also see it as being monumentally important to delve into the meaning of why it’s happening. In order to do so, however, it needs to be a philosophical discussion. It needs to be a discussion with the very people involved, of course. And it needs to be a discussion regarding our mental health and our use of power. I know this notion isn’t exactly profound—this idea’s been circulating forever with very little breakthrough. What I’m saying isn’t exactly news. This very government was initially founded on the idea that no branch should have access to a high percentage of power. The same goes for the people under the control of that government. Since those people are not performing their duties properly/ethically, it is our duty as a larger crowd, with more power by number, to take this power back. It is also monumentally important for us to understand every feeling coming through this process, assessing what those feelings mean, and then moving forward together in acknowledgement of those feelings.

First I’ll begin with a story. For the past year I lived in an apartment downtown. I didn’t know two out of the four roommates before I moved in. I didn’t know that the next entire year would be absolute chaos and anguish to the point where I spent most of my time away from my house so I wouldn’t have to deal with it. C (I won’t reveal her actual name) was a problematic roommate and over the course of the year I experienced abuse of power in a new and extensive way. She locked the ac/heating system so we couldn’t access it, would send aggressive messages, would frequently take things away from our use (took all her dishes away), would behave disrespectfully to us as we would enter/leave the house (scowl/make rude comments), tried to charge us for things we didn’t buy, and kept most of our security deposit. At some point towards the end of our contract/rental agreement, my roommate decided to apply for a position as a sheriff. All of us were mortified. Thankfully, the sheriff’s department decided to check in with all of us first through interviews/questioning to see if she was, what I assumed to be, stable enough for the position. There were a lot of extensive questions regarding whether we would trust her with our life, how she treated power, if she could delegate or resolve problems efficiently, etc. We finally thought we would receive justice because of the way things had played out and the fact that we were now being asked about it. All of us answered honestly. The sheriff’s department thanked us for our honest responses. To our surprise, she started training a week later. That’s when I realized that our statement was probably effective in conveying how much power she had over us and whether she could use it—not how she used it/whether she used it correctly. I feel absolutely infuriated that something like this is able to happen right in front us. Ladies and gentlemen: this is your so-called justice system. Not exactly just. Powerful, yes, but not just.

This position is given to those who have a sense of power/have control over others. My position/responsibility is also given to those who have a sense of control or power over others. It’s very possible to abuse my position—I can teach people what to think and I can tell people what to do with it. I can technically abuse my power and brainwash hundreds upon hundreds of generations on what to think instead of how to think. I could indoctrinate my own agenda very easily. I could move people around, punish them, and remove them from the premises and I can even do that because I have enough rage and frustration, due to past experiences, to back it up. I take this into consideration every single day I’m in my field, and frankly, I’m terrified. I have high anxiety and frequently feel like I’m going to break down due to the pressure of it every day. I’m surprised I keep it together but this doesn’t come without recognition and effort. If our law enforcement doesn’t go carry the same weight or hold the same sense of responsibility, then they aren’t eligible to hold their position. It is important that as a teacher, I use my position of power and influence not to take away but to give. It’s my civic duty to give a voice to people. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had friends voice to me that they feel like their voice doesn’t matter/why should people care what they think? It absolutely breaks my heart to hear that. It breaks my heart to know that people think that their voices or opinions have little to no influence or importance on this society—in sharing their triumphs/happiness as well as their sadness. Even on a platform such as this, for entertainment and connection, you see through this BLM movement just how much your voice matters. It doesn’t only matter that you raise awareness to the cause—your individual experience in this matter matters so much. The movement isn’t about facts and numbers (though they’re responsible for giving it more validity for naysayers) but rather a very old thing that we frequently dismiss as being unimportant: feelings. Feelings are what make us human and it’s when we feel like they’re not listened to/unimportant that we start feeling a little less human.

The concept of “control” isn’t foreign. I grew up with people who fled from control in their homelands and sought refuge in this country. The way that it works is pretty simple: someone will use anything that benefits them to try to get one over you. Racism, ageism, religious affiliation, ableism, sexism, wealth…it’s all the same (power) but the name/excuse has changed. Those who are insecure about their own position will attempt to gain control through another source that guarantees power/supposedly cannot be challenged. Control isn’t logical (which, unfortunately, means that the intended audience will have little to no interest in reading this), it’s about having the upper hand and keeping you in your place. This will be done with various threats, commands, punishments, arguments, instilling confusion, etc. I know from having been dealt this and from having dealt this out myself. Takes a moment to recognize and you know when you’re doing it. You won’t feel better because the person in front of you won’t (again, if you have empathy) or people around you will tell you. Is someone giving you ultimatums? Control. Did someone physically threaten you? Control. Is someone playing games with you? Control. Commands? Control. I’m gonna take a slice out of this conversation to bring you into an even more nuanced form of control: ambiguity. We don’t have all the answers to life’s questions, of course, but if people make you feel like you need to question your own mentality and you actually do and then the results you yield from this new mentality are problematic…Yeeeeahhh. That’s control too. Leaving people to doubt themselves is also a mental tactic in gaining control. Not all control comes in obvious forms. Again perhaps this was all astonishingly obvious and if it was, good! We’re on the same page for sure. Not all control is bad. Control is necessary, to a degree. It’s necessary in maintaining peace and order but it’s most effectively established through respect. You find a way to equally respect everyone and boom—you’ve got the honest-earned control and order that you seek. The end of this essay will come to a conclusion/resolve but the matter of the fact is that the world will not so easily come to the same.

Look—I know that it takes a couple steps backwards and a lot of dark memories to acknowledge our own faults. I know that I used to be stubborn (not all stubbornness is bad though) and problematic because I wanted control over what I felt was out of my control. That’s why we seek to gain control and, sometimes, that’s why we do it in such horrendous ways. Sometimes we don’t realize we are because our own friends and entire systems that surround us make it out like it’s okay. Sometimes they do it because they’re scared they’ll lose something if they don’t. Wham. That’s privilege (affluence/support) and entitlement (the green light to continue on with what we’re doing) for you. A small scale and more personal example would be when we talk badly about someone else and have our friends nod to us because they “deserve it” and are “mean”. People do that for us because they’re good/validate us to make us feel better…not because we’re off the hook. Them doing so doesn’t permit us to turn off our internal commentary/release us from responsibility or blow off that from others who don’t validate us. That’s why, personally, I like to listen to both perspectives—not only the ones that validate me. If I sought out or only listened to views that encouraged my own, then I just wouldn’t understand or know how to deal with a world very different from my own. Then, when faced with that world, I would lash out like a hostile and fearful animal. Been there, done that. When you enter that world, you substitute familiarity with control in order to recreate your comfort. That’s how we got here. Some people were validated, repeatedly, until they no longer were and when they weren’t they became scared/more violent. Me writing “they” makes it sound like it’s someone else. It could be you. I encourage you to take a look around and recognize the patterns of affirmation around yourself. For starters—if you generally feel like you can do most things you want/have a problem with people who tell you that you can’t or even people who make you feel like you can’t, then you’re there. Being there means it’s time to tune into the critics—inner and outer.

0 notes