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#and thank you for who pointed out the lacking info
aplpaca · 2 years
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thinking about how I've seen OCD get talked about now, but haven't really seen many posts that actually explain what it is. And like, obviously people shouldn't get all their info about mental conditions from posts, but u can't deny that internet communities and stuff play a major role in people recognizing and putting names to their own experiences.
But like since the general public has like absolutely no idea of what OCD actually is (no thanks to popular media), and a lot of things I see talking about intrusive thoughts don't mention OCD (either bc they originated in OCD circles or bc intrusive thoughts aren't Exclusive to OCD or for some other reason), there should prob be more explanation put out on what OCD actually consists of.
Which is kinda hard in some ways, bc there are so many ways OCD can present in terms of what "themes" a person experiences, so someone talking about what their themes are might not ring a bell with someone who experiences different ones. But like, the core thing with OCD isn't the presence of certain themes, it's a specific pattern of spiraling thoughts and reactions.
Like. OCD is a mental condition/illness where people experience stressful, unwanted, repetitive thoughts. These are intrusive thoughts are what make up the "obsessions" part of the disorder. In response to these intrusive thoughts, a lot of people will perform certain actions or think certain things in an attempt to neutralize or disprove the threat they represent. These are the "compulsions" part of the condition.
For a more "traditional" example, someone experiencing intrusive thoughts that they might catch a communicable disease may obsessively wash their hands or google their symptoms to try to lessen the anxiety. While someone who is worried they might hurt someone (even though they very much do not want to hurt someone) may avoid being near sharp objects or may avoid the people they're afraid of hurting.
One of the issues with OCD is that performing the compulsions provides short term relief, but in the long term it only strengthens the stress caused by the intrusive thoughts, thus furthering the thought spiral and actively making it worse, to the point where, depending on your themes, you may be (almost) convinced that your intrusive thoughts represent the truth or the inevitable or something permanent.
Intrusive thought themes cam be literally anything, but some of the common ones are stuff like
Questioning your sexuality, gender, etc (what if I'm actually straight/gay/bi/trans/cis/etc?)
Being worried about losing control and hurting yourself or others physically, sexually, emotionally, basically any way (what if I want to kill someone? What if I'm a pedophile? What if I'm an abuser? What if I want to stab myself? Etc)
Fear of becoming or being sick
Worrying something bad will happen to you or people you care about
Worrying about your spiritual beliefs or lack thereof (what if I'm actually Christian? What if I'm actually atheist? What if i don't believe in the faith i ascribe to? Etc)
Worrying about relationship status (what if I don't actually love them? What if they're not "the one"? What if they're cheating? What if *I'm* cheating? Etc)
What if I'm a bad person?
Fear of losing things
Fear of things not feeling right (this is often be related to other themes via magical thinking. ex: if I don't have my things organized Just Right then something bad will happen)
Fear of unreality
Compulsions vary by theme a lot obviously, but some common ones include
Hand washing
Organizing things until they Feel Right
Checking and double checking and triple checking to make sure you did something correctly
Obsessively reviewing your memories to disprove a thoughtor make sure you don't believe something
Arguing against the thoughts in an attempt to disprove them
Testing your mental reactions to a thought or to certain kinds of content, to show yourself you don't actually believe or feel something
Obsessively googling symptoms, testimonies, things related to your thoughts
Obsessive prayer
Repeating phrases, mantras, affirmations, etc in an attempt to make thoughts go away
Avoiding things and situations that set off your intrusive thoughts
Repeatedly asking for reassurance from others ("I'm not being xyz, right?")
But yeah this obviously isn't exhaustive but, just, if this kind of thing sounds familiar, you should probably do some research on OCD, bc while intrusive thoughts can occur with other conditions, the intrusive thought-compulsion spiral is the core of OCD and isn't really a subaspect of depression/anxiety/ptsd/etc. and the treatment and management of OCD can look different from other stuff, so its a good thing to look into.
(Also it's important to keep in mind, esp if you're someone that doesn't have it, that someone's intrusive thoughts Are Not "secret desires" or "repressed urges" or anything the person even remotely wants to act on. Someone having harm-related intrusive thoughts is not at risk of actually acting on them, no matter how worried they are of doing so.)
Anyway this was a long post and I don't have a neat way to wrap it up and also I accidentally added a poll and now can't get rid of it so here's free poll. I'm running on nyquil and a small amount of straight gin (which works very well at numbing a sore throat) rn gnite
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keyotos · 4 months
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➳ you're my achilles heel
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summary ⎯ niche microtropes w/ the hsr men! emphasis on the micro (not rlly)
includes ⎯ dan heng, aventurine & jing yuan
tana talks ⎯ who's missed me? i've been gone for a HOT minute, and what other way to come back than kickstarting my 1k event: niche microtropes! more info about that will be here. thank you so so much for 1k!!!!
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dan heng
when they both have to share a bed and one of them reveals it was the best night of sleep they've ever had
⎯ dan heng has made a lot of mistakes in his life, and letting march choose hotel rooms has to be one of them.
⎯ granted, he truly thought that march would do a good job at choosing the hotel, financial planning, and of course–choosing the rooms.
⎯ and everything was great. until you and dan heng had to share a bed.
you and dan heng shifted around the bed a few times before finally settling into designated spots. it was decided that dan heng would sleep on the outside, while you slept near the wall. his back faced you as he tucked himself into bed.
⎯ you and dan heng were friends. this awkwardness wasn't normal, and there should be no reason for the two of you to be avoiding each other like you are now. alas, here you are now, laying at least a foot apart.
⎯ the room is completely silent, and a bit cold as well. dan heng felt a breeze constantly grazing his shoulders. yeah. there was no way he could sleep like this
⎯ you, on the other hand, felt too hot. you had most of the blankets on your side and you felt SUFFOCATED. sometimes, it felt hard to breathe. but u weren't sure if that was just nerves or bc of how hot you felt.
⎯ ultimately, you are the one who has to make the first move.
"dan heng," you turned around and whispered, "are you cold?"
⎯ obviously, he was cold. but was he going to say anything about it?? no.
"i'm fine," he said, still facing his back towards you. "are you cold?" you gulped at the dry response. usually, you find yourself always wanting to talk to dan heng. he was never a boring converser, so why was he acting so strange tonight? but then again, you had no room to talk—you haven't said a word to dan heng until now.
⎯ at this point, you're a little frustrated at the lack of communication between the both of you. so—being the problem solver that you are—you decide to do something about it
slowly, you inch closer to dan heng—just to test the waters, of course. dan heng doesn't reach much, only a small head turn once he feels a dip in the mattress. you take some of the blanket and throw it over dan heng, awaiting his response.
⎯ meanwhile, dan heng over here is internally flipping out. when you inched towards him, dan heng could feel his heart skipping more than a few beats. and when you threw the blanket over him, dan heng wasn't sure if he felt warm due to the blanket or you.
⎯ when he finally turns over, you have to hide your wide eyes and slacked mouth underneath the blanket. you peer back up, and he's staring right at you.
"are... you okay?" you whisper underneath the blanket. "i'm cold," is all dan heng says. you hide your smile underneath the blanket, but you have a feeling dan heng knows you're smiling anyway. he's looking straight in your eyes after all.
⎯ and then you say it. you practically hit the pentagon.
you open up the blanket to where it reveals a dark silhouette of your body. "do you want to share?"
⎯ dan heng practically malfunctions. usually, there are always things dan heng says to fill the silence. he never runs out of words. not in a talkative way like march, but rather, he has an extensive vocabulary
⎯ this time though? haha. very funny. he's gone mute.
dan heng blinks at you while you hold the blanket open. you raise an eyebrow, taunting him. he squeezes his eyes shut, and then reopens them to find you still holding the blanket. was he halluncinating?
"i don't want to intrude." "oh please," you quietly laugh, "we're already sharing a bed. we crossed the line of intrusion a few hours ago."
⎯ and that sounds like a good deal to the both of you. except, one thing.
"are things going to change after this?" dan heng asks you. you're glad it's dark, so dan heng doesn't see you flush, "i don't see why things would change," you say, maintaining a calm face.
⎯ that's enough to get dan heng under the covers with you.
⎯ you two sleep wonderfully the rest of the night—you two even woke up early too. you were the one to wake up first. the sun shone on your face, yet you didn't even feel the glare at all. you felt energized, which was weird considering that you went to bed at questionable hour last night.
⎯ oh, and you also felt a pair of arms over your waist too. and something pressing into your neck. and something wrapping around your legs. and you also feel really hot. is that from the sun????
⎯ yeah. it's going to be harder to keep your word.
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aventurine
those dancing scenes where it just so happens that the lighting focuses on the two of you
⎯ lavish parties and extravagant events weren’t new to aventurine, who just so happened to stumble on one of the biggest on penacony
⎯ sometimes, the families hold galas. it’s more of an exclusive thing, so aventurine had to do some awkward mingling in order to get in. that includes a very awkward conversation with a security guard, who kept raising eyebrows at his outfit.
⎯ beforehand, he had no interest in going to this event. however, once faced with the possibility that he could gather intel, his mind quickly changed.
⎯ now, he is standing right next to you, the heir to penacony's iris family. in his short time on the planet, he's seen your face countless times: on billboards, commercials, and next to various items. but seeing it in person?
⎯ way. different.
"you've never been dancing before?" you lead the ipc executive, aventurine, down the halls of the iris family's ballroom. aventurine shakes his head as he follows you, "not once. though, as the iris family's biggest celebrity, i take it you're used to dances?" your eyes widen when you hear him utter the compliment, "i'm... i'm not sure i'm the biggest celebrity," you rub your neck sheepishly. you tilt your head back, "and i don't think i can remember a time where i didn't dance."
⎯ aventurine has one goal tonight, and it's to get information about the families. if all goes according to plan, then he'd have the upper hand on penacony itself, thus being able to use his knowledge as a bargaining chip for the ipc.
⎯ and if there's one thing aventurine is good at, it's bargains.
⎯ so now, aventurine is trying his hardest to charm you into giving out any information. because people like you always talk.
"that must've been nice," aventurine eggs you on, "from what i can tell, parties on penacony are always fun." you let out a small laugh, "i'm glad you think that." the two of you walk side-by-side, and you aren't saying a single thing. aventurine flexes his hand by his side, preparing to make more idle chatter. he's about to open his mouth when a bright, shining light beams onto the both of you.
⎯ from the look on your face, aventurine can tell that you did not like that. he stands there passively, awaiting for your next move.
⎯ what he did not expect was for you to hold out your hand for him.
"um," you clear your throat. your eyes dart around the room and you gulp, holding out your hand, "may i have this dance?"
⎯ aventurine meets your nervous eyes with his wide ones. it looks like the two of you have no other choice. eyes are on the both of you when aventurine takes your hand, and you pull him into a quiet space in the ballroom.
⎯ let's get one thing straight: aventurine does not know how to dance.
⎯ so currently, he's trying to avoid stepping on your toes, while trying to remain in sync with you. on the inside, aventurine is annoyed. there are ears everywhere, meaning that there's a bigger risk. however, aventurine is all about risks, and the night is still young.
"i thought you liked dances," aventurine purposefully whispers into your ear, and he can feel the heat rise up. his voice is sultry and sweet, and he hopes to get you addicted to it soon. you look up at him with crinkled eyes. the light is glaring on you, and it seems like you're glinting instead of shining. "i never said that." aventurine takes notice of the rise and fall of your chest—much faster than when the two of you met. the corner of his lip raises a little bit, "oh, i'm sorry. but are you uncomfortable? i thought you've been doing this for years? let me know if i can do anything to help?" he offers.
⎯ you only smile, and aventurine gives you a polite smile back. he follows your lead, waiting for you to say something, but you only lead him around the ballroom.
⎯ the light is still trailing after you, except it's beaming more on aventurine than you at this point.
⎯ it's beaming more on aventurine. oh. he gets it now.
"do you wanna get out of here?" he whispers in your ear once again. he has to try his hardest to bite down the smirk that was about to appear on his face. this was going to be easier than he thought. you grab his hand in a tight hold, "no," you firmly state, "we're staying here."
⎯ wow. what a shift of tone.
"i need your help," you mutter under your breath. "help me, and i'll do anything," you look up into his eyes, pleading with him through your gaze.
⎯ aventurine nearly steps on your feet. what?
"uh–what?" aventurine questions you as you keep moving.
"sneak me out of here. we can't go through the doors—there's the bloodhound family everywhere. but i need you to get me out," you beseech. you grab his hand, bringing it up to your chest and slowly sliding it down to your waist.
⎯ aventurine has to remind himself to keep his cool multiple times. breathe in, breathe out. what were you getting at here? why did you want to escape?
"listen, what i said earlier. about the parties. i need to get out," you spin yourself around and back into the blond. "help me," you connect your palms as you circle him, "and i'll help you," you intertwine your fingers together.
⎯ the light still glistens over the both of you. and aventurine thinks two things: he's gotten into something he didn't need to get into, and that he finally has a way into the family.
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jing yuan
second chance romance, except the two of you have been keeping tabs on one another the entire time.
⎯ jing yuan's childhood is filled of fond memories: his old master, the bright and sunny days when he would train, and you.
⎯ you, who jing yuan would willingly miss trainings for. you, the brilliant and clever reporter who broadcasted for the people. you, who jing yuan had to let go.
⎯ he'd spend days rereading what you've wrote; whether it be small stories or big news on the luofu. everything you had written intoxicated him. however, all good things have to end eventually.
⎯ the break-up wasn't even technically a break up, because you two weren't even together. the harsh reality was that you two were just friends, so jing yuan has no actual reason to be moping around. people lose friends all the time, and with jing yuan's lifestyle, it was bound to be imminent.
⎯ as the general, jing yuan had new priorities, and it seems like you weren't one of them anymore.
⎯ so, you move on with your career. you founded the xianzhou's very own broadcasting channel, which aired to the millions of citizens across all ships. you're a superstar who hasn't left their core values. rather than the big stories, you focus on local ones. you focus on the people.
⎯ and general jing yuan... focuses on his job. sort of. not really.
⎯ can you really say that a general is focused on his job when he goes missing?
"jing yuan," your side aches once you utter his name, and you suppress an agonized moan, "why are you here?"
⎯ you know what they say, old habits die hard.
⎯ the founder of the xianzhou's broadcasting channel was found in critical condition a few days ago. you had been reporting on the a civil case that had struck on one of the ships, and—next thing you know—blood ran from your fingertips and you rushed into a critical care unit.
"how did you even get here?" you ask as you lift yourself up higher on the bed. jing yuan steps forward, but you move back. "i haven't spoken to you in years. you cut me off, and then you show up now? can i atleast get an explanation on how you found me?"
⎯ jing yuan's silence tells you all that you need to know. you keep up with the dozing general, even if you are off the luofu. because still, even after all these years, your heart trails after him.
"i wanted to see you," jing yuan blurts. his voice is much more deeper than you remember it to be. "so i contacted the hospital and told them that my old friend was in critical condition, and i needed to see you." you scoff, "an old friend is a stretch." you pause and look down at your hands. and then, a thought furrows in your mind. "wait, if you knew where i was hospitalized—you read my articles?" "i've never stopped."
⎯ oh. oh? oh????
⎯ safe to say that you were rendered speechless. the next five minutes were spent by you staring at jing yuan, jaw-dropped and all.
"how long?" you asked. "too long," jing yuan dryly chuckles. "since i left."
⎯ the air is thick, and things are obviously tense. and there are so many things to talk about. so many things to tell him. such as how you've surfed before (it was a big dream of yours). or how you finally adopted the cat you always wanted (you hope he brings up his lion).
⎯ and while you sit there, you realize that you've missed this. how could you even live without this for hundreds of years? without him? was it surreal to feel so strongly about a person that left so long ago?
⎯ so many milestones missed. so many to make up for. so many things to talk about. so many things to clear up. and you still want to do it all with jing yuan.
⎯ does he still want to do it with you?
you clear your throat, attempting to sit up straighter. you're struggling, and you've never felt so embarrassed in your life. while trying to adjust yourself once more, you see a shadow appear above you, and it's the one and only jing yuan. "do you need help?" he asks, holding his arm out for you as support. you take it gladly, pulling yourself up by grabbing onto his (big) forearm. "thank you," you dust yourself off, checking your side for any rips in your stitches. "now," you begin, letting out a shaky breath, "i think... i think we're overdue for a chat."
⎯ you knew jing yuan. you'd like to know him now. jing yuan knew you too, and now—judging by the look on his face—he'd like to know you too.
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god i've missed the hc's so much. like i'm truly going back to my roots here. be honest did y'all miss the hc's too or was that just me????
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vbecker10 · 2 months
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If you still do requests, I was wondering if you could write a fan fiction of Loki and Y\N where Y\N has Fibromyalgia and she's having a pain flare up? Would really make my day if you could!
Everything Hurts
Pairing: Loki x female reader (Y/N) - reader has Fibromyalgia
Summary: You have worked with the two Asgardian princes as their press coordinator since they both officially joined the Avengers. You enjoy the job greatly and love working with Thor but Loki tests your friendship and patience every single day. The God of Mischief alternates between being charming, sweet and flirtatious and being a sarcastic, pain in the butt who makes every meeting, email or interview request a battle. The day before an important event, you open up to Loki about your fibromyalgia and he offers to use his powers to alleviate your pain.
Background Info: Female reader has Fibromyalgia with the following symptoms - whole body fatigue, feeling drained of energy suddenly, inability to sleep deeply, feeling tired and worn out even after sleeping, tension headaches, muscle & joint pain (throbbing; aching; burning; shooting; stabbing; stiffness; soreness), muscle spasms, tender points at the tops of her shoulders and knees (light touch in these areas causes pain and discomfort), these symptoms worsen at night
Warnings: very brief mention of an ex-boyfriend who broke up with you because of your diagnosis, feeling like a burden, hiding your pain
A/N: Thank you so much for sending in this request! I did a bunch of research into this (mostly on Google) but please let me know if I messed anything up and I will fix it. I want to be as accurate as possible. I hope you all enjoy it! 💚
(sorry if this is bit of a long one, I wanted to cover a lot of stuff and I didn't really want to make it two parts) 💜
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Monday
"Thor, I assume you're taking Jane as your plus one to the charity gala Friday night, right?" you ask the older prince, looking up slowly from your computer screen. The stiffness in your neck makes the simple action increasingly more difficult each time you do it.
"Yes, of course," he answers with his signature smile.
"Awesome," you nod, feeling a twinge of pain at the base of your neck.
Your hand moves to the back of your neck and you begin to rub it gently, trying to alleviate some of the tightness in your muscles. When you look up at Loki, you notice his eyes are focused on you and for a brief moment you think you see concern in his expression.
Your eyes meet and his smirk emerges, "Would you like a massage, darling?"
"No," you tell him, putting your hand down quickly although a massage is probably exactly what your sore muscles need. "And stop calling me that, I told you it's unprofessional," you roll your eyes but are unable to hide the smile that always slips free when he calls you pet names.
"Very well, love," he responds and you bite back a sarcastic comment.
"Do you know who you're bringing, Loki?" you decide to change the subject back to the original point of your meeting with the brothers.
"I think we should attend the event together," the God of Mischief says with a wink.
You sigh and rub your temples, resting your elbows on your desk as you feel a tension headache emerging. "Loki, for once could you please just answer me seriously? I don't have all day for this," you easily make it seem as if the cause of your headache is the younger prince and not a symptom of your exhaustion. You had gotten almost seven hours of sleep last night but your fibromyalgia prevented you from falling into a deep sleep so you woke feeling worn out and drained this morning.
"What if I am being serious?" Loki asks, his tone still playful but his smirk has shifted into a more sincere smile.
"Brother, just tell Y/N you will be attending the charity gala alone," Thor thankfully steps in before you can even begin to consider Loki's suggestion. "As you always do," the older Asgardian makes a jab at his brother's lack of a date to any of the events you had organized for them to attend in the last three months.
You let out a short laugh but don't miss the angry glare Loki casts towards his brother. He looks at you again, "You can note that I will be attending with a plus one."
"Great," you say, forcing a smile. The thought of Loki taking someone suddenly makes you feel jealous but you don't want to think about why that is the emotion that surfaced first. Your tension headache suddenly becomes much worse and the stiffness in your neck spreads down your back. You need to finish this meeting as soon as possible so you can get the two Asgardians out of your office before you are unable to hide your worsening symptoms.
"Who's the unlucky lady?" Thor asks, laughing loudly at his own joke.
"Is her name necessary?" Loki asks you in response to Thor's question.
"Umm... no, I guess I can just leave that part blank for now," you answer. Your hand moves back to your neck again, trying to relieve the ache from your muscles feeling so tight.
Loki nods, folding his arms across his chest. "Please do that then," he says. "Unless you would like to change your mind?" he adds with a smirk.
Before you can reply to him you feel a sharp stab of pain in your abdomen and look down to hide when you wince. You take a slow breath but a second sharp stab of pain in the same location causes you to breath out harshly.
"Y/N?" Loki asks, his words pulling your attention back to him. This time there is no mistaking the look of concern on his face as he leans forward in his chair.
"Brother," Thor shakes his head, "It would seem you've upset Y/N with your suggestion, she looks as if it physically pains her."
"Would you for once just be quiet?" Loki looks over at Thor then turns to face you. "Are you alright?" he asks, ignoring the fact that his brother cannot see that your pain is clearly very real.
"I'm fine," you insist even though you know Loki will easily see through your lie. No one at SHIELD or Stark Industries knows about your fibromyalgia and you plan on keeping it that way for as long as you possibly can. You decide instead of trying to convince him you are okay, you will need to prove that you are busy. "I think we're done here. I've got everything I need," you tell the two brothers.
"Are you sure?" Loki asks.
You push yourself up from your chair which was not a good idea, you feel a sudden wave of exhaustion through your entire body but you fight to remain standing. Thor stands in response to your movement but Loki remains seated, not willing to leave until he knows why you are lying. "I have another meeting in ten minutes and I need to prep for it," you tell them. Loki finally stands slowly but you can feel his eyes watching you so you do your best to continue hiding your pain. Flashing your best 'I'm completely fine smile' you say, "I'll email you if I have any other questions."
"Thank you as always, Y/N," Thor nods and turns to leave.
Loki stays in front of his chair for a moment. You can see he is thinking but he lowers his head and turns to leave without a word.
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Tuesday
You skim through the dozen or so requests you have for interviews before you find the one you need just in time for Loki to knock on your office door. He steps inside, "I believe you summoned me."
You laugh, "You make it sound like you're a genie."
He smirks, "I will grant you three wishes if you-"
"No," you cut him off quickly, holding up your hand to silence him, "I'm not rubbing any part of you."
He chuckles as he sits across from you, "Darling, I had no idea you had such a dirty mind but I do like it. I was merely going to say, I will grant you your wishes, all you need to do is ask."
You blush, feeling both embarrassed and stupid, momentarily forgetting why you asked him to come see you.
"I'm glad to see you are feeling better today," Loki says genuinely.
You nod with a smile although you don't in fact feel better, you are just having an easier time hiding you pain today. You slept deeper last night so you feel more rested but the muscles in your lower back are throbbing. "Thanks, me too," you reply and he smiles warmly.
"What was it you needed from me?" he asks.
"Right," you nod and check your email. "Ah," you quickly find what you need, "I got an email from the Daily Bugle, they want to do an interview with you about-"
"I would rather not," he doesn't allow you to finish.
"Loki," you frown, "You really should do this. You haven't done a single one this month. Thor has already done two by himself and a third one with Jane."
"You know I dislike interviews," he reminds you although he doesn't need to. You are well aware of how much Loki values his privacy.
"I know but you need to," you plead with him for the hundredth time since you began working together. You shift in your chair, the throbbing in your lower back spreading higher and becoming more intense.
"Did they inform you about the type of questions they will ask?" he sighs, running his fingers through his hair.
"Yeah," you bite your lip knowing Loki is going to be annoyed, not with you but with the line of questions. "It's a personal interest story, so they wanna know more about you. Here, I'll ask you a few and see what you think?" He nods and you start with one of the first questions, "When you are not on a mission or training, how do you enjoy spending your free time?"
"I greatly enjoy aggravating Thor in my very limited spare time," he smirks.
"See, that's not a good answer. Everyone already knows you like to annoy your brother," you laugh and shake your head.
"I am also quite fond of spending time with my press coordinator," he adds with a softer smile.
"Spending time making my job more difficult," you correct him with an exaggerated sigh. "Okay, what's something you like about earth?"
"Not a single thing comes to mind," he laughs, seeming more comfortable. "Except for you of course."
You roll your eyes, "This will be the worst interview ever if I'm your answer to every question." He smiles but you sigh, knowing the last few questions in the email are the ones he will be most resistant to answering. "They also want to know more about your love life... you've never been seen out with anyone so they are asking-"
His smiles vanishes and he sits up straight in the chair, "No."
"Loki, you have to give them something," you tell him as the muscles in your back tense and tighten. "Even if you just say something like, 'I am not looking for a partner at the moment, I am focusing on my training and blah blah blah."
"I still do not see why it is any of the world's business what I chose to do or not do in my private life," he says, "Especially when it comes to my dating habits."
"Because you don't get to have a private life," you tell him honestly without trying to be harsh. "That's just how it works here, unfortunately. You need to understand, my whole job is to help your public image and make sure people feel like they can trust you. To do that, they have to know you at least a little. You're a prince and a god from a realm that up until a few months ago we all thought was a myth. All anyone knows is that you came here to take over our world before changing your mind and protecting us with your brother."
The tightness in your back loosens and you breath a small, hopefully unnoticeable sigh of relief. You remain perfectly still, fearful that if you stretch or twist your back the wrong way now, the muscles will tighten even worse than before. "I trust you Loki but they don't know you like I do."
His clenched jaw relaxes and he nods, understanding your point although you know he still dislikes this arrangement.
"Just give them a small look into your life, that's all I ask. I can go back to the Daily Bugle and see if they will take out the questions about your romantic life but I really need you to do this. I'm still trying to rebuild your image after... well you know what happened," you shrug.
He nods, knowing you are referring to the Battle of New York and his forced attempt to conquer the planet. You can see his resolve softening so you press him just a bit further, hoping he will finally cave. "Please," you give him your best smile and you see the corner of his lip turn up.
He sighs and shakes his head to chase away the smile that was forming. "I will do the interview but only if they remove any questions referring to my dating life," he agrees and you feel a sense of victory. He gets up, assuming the conversation is now over.
"I will," you assure him and stay seated. "You know it'll only make them more curious right? People want to know why someone like you is single-"
Before you can finish your thought, your back spasms and you groan in pain as the muscles twist and contract. The tightness forces you to lean forward, unable to sit up right until it passes. Your hands grip the edge of the desk and you look down, trying to take a deep, steady breath to relax your muscles.
"Y/N, what is wrong?" Loki asks, his voice thick with worry. He comes around your desk but is clearly unsure about what he should do to help you.
"Just a muscle spasm," you tell him, trying to make it sound less painful than it is. "I slept weird last night, it's not a big deal."
"Are you sure?" he asks, obviously unconvinced. "Can I do anything to help?"
"No, I'm fine. I just need to rest a little," you force a smile, moving to look up at him but the spasm keeps you from moving your back the way you need to. "What I really need is a new bed," you joke but neither of you laughs. "Really, I'm fine, I promise," you insist and he nods slowly.
"You would tell me if you weren't?" he asks in a serious tone.
"Yeah," you want to nod but think better of it.
"Please go see Dr. Palmer if this does not resolve itself," he encourages you. Before you argue that you are fine he adds, "I cannot have the only person in this realm I can stand to be around falling apart."
You laugh at Loki's favorite way to refer to you but the movement causes your spasm to worsen and the muscles to tighten further. You grimace, gripping the edge of the desk tighter and Loki's smile vanishes. "I'm okay," you tell him, "But I really need to just relax and the muscles will loosen up. I'll talk to you later, okay?"
He nods, sensing it is useless to continue discussing the matter and leaves your office.
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Wednesday
"Stupid childproof caps," you mumble angrily as you struggle to twist open the cap on your pain medication. The joints in your elbow ache deeply and the muscles in your forearms burn as you continue your fight with the small plastic bottle.
"Do you need help, darling?" Loki asks from behind you. You drop the pill bottle when he startles you, turning quickly to face him. He picks up the bottle as it rolls towards him.
"Yeah, do you mind? I can usually get it," you tell him. "It's just a pain killer for my headache," you lie easily knowing Loki is aware of how frequently you get tension headaches.
He nods, opening the bottle and moves closer to hand it back to you. You reach for the bottle but you feel a sharp stab of pain in your elbow when you extend your arm and pull back quickly. Before he can ask you add a second lie, "I slept on my arm last night. Still need a new mattress."
"I don't understand why you insist on lying to me," he says, placing the bottle in your hand and the cap on the counter.
You ignore his question, taking your pain medication and following it with a large gulp of water. "Do you have a name I can add to the RSVP yet? They emailed me back saying they would like to be able to have it for when you walk the red carpet," you ask him.
"No," he answers.
"Are you keeping her a secret for a reason?" you ask when he walks past you to the coffee maker. "Does she work here? Do I know her? Ooh... is she famous?" You ask lightheartedly but when Loki doesn't respond you have your answer. "You didn't ask anyone?"
"I simply haven't found the time to aquire a date," he confirms without turning to face you.
"Why not? There's gotta be hundreds of women in this city who would love to go with you," you say a bit too honestly.
He looks over his shoulder at you, "I asked one woman but she refused my invitation and I have not been in a hurry to be turned down again."
You look at him confused and then realize he means you. "Loki, you weren't serious about that," you tell him.
He turns completely to face you, "If you thought I was serious, would you have said yes?"
"I-" you freeze, unsure how to answer his question. You had only dated one person after you received your diagnosis and it was too complicated for him to deal with. You hadn't even considered dating anyone since. The prince takes your long silence as a no to his question and nods his head once before returning to making his coffee.
"Loki, it's not-" you try to find the words to explain your reasoning but he shrugs as if he doesn't want to hear it.
Without looking at you he says, "I hope your headache goes away." He picks up his coffee and leaves the kitchen, you make no attempt to stop him even though you want to.
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Thursday
You close your eyes and rest your head on the desk, feeling utterly drained of energy both emotionally and physically. Last night your back and neck ached so deeply there was nothing you could do to get comfortable. You had tried every possible position in your bed, then you moved to the couch and finally ended up falling asleep in an arm chair. One hour of uninterrupted sleep was nowhere near enough to get you through today.
"Y/N?" you hear a voice call for you faintly but you are so close to sleeping, you can't help but ignore it.
Loki's hand gently settles on your shoulder causing you to cry out in pain as a stabbing sensation quickly moves through your muscles. The prince has accidentally touched what your doctor calls a 'tender point'. You recoil from his well meaning touch, fully awake from the jolt of pain.
"I'm so sorry," he apologizes, backing away from you. "I didn't mean to hurt you. Are you okay?"
You sit up and attempt to tell Loki you are fine but the movement causes a wave of sharp pain through your lower back. Loki kneels next to you, putting his hand on the arm of the chair, clearly afraid to touch you again. "Y/N, please do not tell me you are fine," he urges gently. "What's wrong, darling? How can I help?"
You look at him, the concern on his face finally eats away at your determination to keep lying. "Everything hurts, Loki," you acknowledge the truth. "I'm having a fibromyalgia flare up. I'm in so much pain and I'm just too exhausted to fight through it anymore."
"I don't know what that is," he responds.
"Right," you mumble. The handful of family members and friends you had opened up to barely knew anything about your condition so it makes sense an Asgardian would never have heard of it.
"Talk to me, please," he says in a softer tone than you've ever heard him use. "I cannot help if I do not know what you need from me."
"There isn't a whole lot you can do," you tell him realistically. He frowns in response and you decide to tell him everything. You take a deep breath and begin, "Fibromyalgia is a disorder which basically means I have widespread musculoskeletal pain. There's this constant dull ache or throbbing, deep in my muscles and joints but that's easier to hide than the sharp, stabbing or burning feelings I sometimes get. You've seen the tension headaches and muscles spasms as well this week." Loki nods slowly but says nothing and you continue, "It also affects my ability to sleep and sometimes my mood or memory but lately they have been okay."
When you finish you give Loki a practiced smile but he doesn't smile in return. He reaches out to cup your cheek but pauses and pulls his hand away. "You can do that," you tell him, wanting to feel Loki comfort you. "I have something called 'tender points' on my shoulders and a few other places. They cause me pain when people touch them, even gently but my cheek is okay."
He places his hand softly on your cheek and looks into your eyes, "I am sorry you have this horrid disorder. I had no idea this is what you have been hiding all this time. You do not deserve to live in pain this way."
"Thanks," you say with a slight shrug.
"There is no cure for this condition?" Loki asks curiously.
You shake your head, "No, but I can manage my symptoms most of the time. I take medication for the pain and to help me sleep. I also go to physical therapy after work a few days a week but that's pretty much all I can do right now."
Loki nods his head as he thinks, his fingers falling gently from your cheek. "There may be something I can do," he offers and you smile, feeling the smallest glimmer of hope.
"Really?" you ask him.
"I do not want to see you suffer," he says.
"Cause I'm your favorite person on the planet, right?" you joke, hoping to get him to smile.
It works, he smiles but his response is not what you expected, "Of course you are, darling."
"Wait, seriously?" you can't help but ask.
"I don't understand your surprise," he chuckles. "I have told you that on numerous occasions."
"Well yeah... but I always thought you were joking or just... I didn't think you meant it. I figured it was just something you said," you tell him, still trying to wrap your mind around his answer.
"There are quite a few things I have told you that you never took seriously," he says and although he is still smiling, he sounds disappointed.
Before you can say anything in response, you feel a burning sensation in your lower back that moves up your spine to your shoulders. You twist uncomfortably in the chair and gasp in pain, reaching for Loki and he moves closer to take your hand. The instant his fingers close around your hand, the pain vanishes. You look down at both of your hands which are now surrounded by the bright green glow of his seidr.
"Is this helping?" he asks and you nod slowly, almost unable to believe what is happening.
"The pain is gone," you say with a small laugh. "How did you do that?"
"My magic can be used for a great many things," he tells you, "I can prevent you from feeling pain but this method is temporary, it will only work so long as I am touching you."
"I don't think I can thank you enough for this, even if its just for a little while," you tell him with a wide smile.
"I will review my spell books to search for a more permanent solution, darling," he promises.
"Again with calling me darling?" you ask without thinking.
"I can stop," his smile fades.
"No," to shake your head and squeeze his hand gently, regretting that you mentioned it. "I like it but it's a bit..." you bite your lip, trying to think of the right word. "Romantic?"
He chuckles, "Has anyone ever told you that you are not very good at picking up on hints?"
"No?" you say and look at him confused.
Loki gets up from where he had been kneeling on the floor next to your chair, his hand still holding yours. He waves his free hand towards the chair on the other side of your desk and it transforms into a black leather couch with a couple of soft, dark green pillows.
"This may be more comfortable than your desk chair," he says, motioning towards the couch and you agree. Loki sits on one end and you sit next to him, your knees barely touching. He lets go of your hand for a moment then places his arm around your shoulder carefully. His fingers glow green, alleviating your pain through the continued contact.
You can't help but lean towards Loki, shifting closerto eliminate any space between you. "Wait, what were you saying about me and hints?" you go back to his previous comment.
He sighs, "Y/N, I like you."
"I know, you said I was your favorite-" you stop talking as your sleep deprived brain finally seems to catch up to Loki. "You like me?"
He laughs, "You do need more sleep. I thought I had been too subtle last month but even Stark and the Captain have noticed I've become fond of you."
"I thought you were just flirting with me cause that was your personality," you admit.
"Oh," his tone loses some of its playfulness. "So you had noticed?"
"Well... yeah but like I said, I didn't think you were serious about any of it," you shrug and look down at your hands in your lap. "I can't imagine why you would flirt with me and mean it."
"Why wouldn't I be interested in you?" he asks, cupping your cheek gently as he lifts you head so you are looking at him. "You are beautiful, funny, clever and you always do what you think is best for me even when I make everything difficult for you."
You giggle and blush at his complements but your smile fades. "What are you thinking about?" he asks, noticing your attitude shift.
"I like you Loki," you tell him, surprising both of you with your honesty.
"You do not look happy about it though," he says.
"I want to be," you tell him but you can't force a smile.
"But you aren't?" he asks.
"I really do like you but this isn't a good idea. You'll regret being with me," you shake your head.
"How can you say that?" he asks, taking your hand.
"I started seeing someone about a year after I was diagnosed and he couldn't handle my symptoms," you explain. "There were days were my tender points were so sensitive that I couldn't bare for him to touch me. I rarely slept through the night so he didn't like sharing a bed with me. If I was too tired to go out with him or our friends, he would get upset or end up going without me," you continue to look down as you talk and the feelings resurface. "It was hard for him to deal when I was having a flare up. One day he just... I don't know, I guess he didn't feel like being weighed down by me so he broke up with me. I haven't thought about dating anyone since."
"I really love working with you, even when you annoy me on purpose," you look up and his lip curls into a small smile. "If we date, you'll end up having to help me on my really bad days or put up with my symptoms keeping me from doing things. I don't want you to resent me for being a burden."
Loki is quite for a moment then says, "If that was how he reacted to you when you needed him, he never deserved you." You look up at Loki and his fingers move slowly up and down your arm. "Your disorder is not a burden for your partner to 'put up with'. It is only a small part of what makes you who you are and, Y/N, you are extraordinary. You are so much stronger than I had ever realized but you do not need to suffer through this alone any longer. Whether you decide you to let me take you on a date or not, I want you to know I will help you with this in any way I can."
You smile at Loki, knowing the prince means every word. You lean towards him, placing a soft kiss on his cheek. Giggling nervously, you watch the smile spread across Loki's lips.
"I am not sure if that was a yes or no to my question but-" he says but before he can finish his thought, you press your lips to his and pull away quickly. Loki's fingers move to the back of your neck in an instant and he brings your lips back to his. He chuckles when you break the kiss, running his thumb gently across your lower lip, "I will take that as a yes."
You smile, "Yes, I would love to go on a date with you."
"How about tomorrow?" he asks hopefully.
You nod then shake your head quickly, "No tomorrow is the charity gala. You have to go to that, I spent so much time putting together the press information-"
Loki kisses you, silencing your worries and when he pulls away again he smiles. "How many times must I ask you to go to the charity gala with me?" he asks.
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Friday
"How are you feeling?" Loki asks as you wait to get out of the town car.
"Honestly?" you ask, smoothing out the fabric on your long purple gown.
Loki holds your hand as you walk together towards the beginning of the long red carpet. "You look exquisite, darling," Loki whispers to you. You blush and giggle in response then reach up and kiss his cheek. Numerous cameras flash and dozens of reporters become louder, trying to get both of you to stop for questions.
"No, lie to me," he chuckles and rolls his eyes.
You shake your head and laugh but answer him truthfully, "Your magic is still working perfectly. I'm not in any pain at all. I feel amazing Loki."
You can barely believe the words coming out of your mouth. Loki had stayed up almost all of last night digging through piles of spell books until he finally found what he needed. He enchanted a small pendant with his magic and so long as you wore it, your pain was gone. Your fingers trace the small silver butterfly you wear on a thin chain around your neck and you smile at Loki.
He kisses the top of your head, "I need you to tell me if your symptoms come back. I never want you to hide this from me again."
"I will tell you," you promise just as the door opens.
"Loki! Loki! Over here!" The reporters yell over each other for Loki's attention as the cameras continue to flash brightly all around you. "Who is your date tonight? Loki!"
Half way down the red carpet, Loki pauses in front of the swarm of reporters. The prince kisses the back of your hand then let's go, placing his hand on your waist to pull you closer to him.
"This absolutely stunning woman is Y/N Y/L/N," he introduces you and you look up at him ignoring the cameras. "She is my talented, patient and brilliant press coordinator," he pauses, his eyes still on yours and says, "And she is my girlfriend."
Your heart beats faster and you giggle excitedly, you had no idea Loki was going to declare you his girlfriend in front of the press but you couldn't be happier. He leans down and kisses your lips, the camera flashes intensify. He takes your hand again and leads you away from the reporters and into the gala entrance.
"I'm going to have a thousand emails and calls about this," you laugh as you hear the press call for you and Loki to come back.
"That is a problem for Monday," he says. "This weekend you are mine."
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starlightsuffered · 2 months
Note
NEW SMUT FIC WHEN???
A/N - alright calm down love 😅
Blow Job in the Shower
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Info - praise kink, friends with benefits, small injury, oral (male receiving), masturbating, leg humping, fluff, mention of ass eating
Timothée and I fell into my apartment, shaking water like wet dogs. His curls were completely flat. The rain had been torrential.
“You might as well stay the night,” I panted. “You can’t go out in that again.”
“Yeah, I think I will thanks,” Timothée nodded.
“I’m freezing,” I shivered.
“Me too, fuck,” I moaned.
We both looked at one another for a second, and then we were racing. We were diving towards the single shower in the place. We craved the hot water.
“I’m the one who pays the rent,” I squealed.
“Yeah, but you’re also the one who suggested a picnic in the park when there was a thunderstorm forecast,” he rebutted.
“Look,” I said, holding him at arms length. I looked him up and down. I didn’t know how he could be this attractive when he looked like a drowned kitten.
“We’ve both seen each other… you know….”
“Naked?” Timothée asked with a cocked eyebrow. I felt a blush heat my cheeks. We’d been doing this friends with benefits thing for over a year but he still managed to fluster me with it. I wondered if it meant that deeper feelings were at play. It had started because we were both lonely and going through a major dry spell. It had gotten a lot more intimate as of late though, and I wasn’t sure what that meant.
“Yes,” I said, turning from his piercing gaze.
“So what’s your point, because I’m about to turn into a Chalametcicle,” he said through chattering teeth.
“We shower together, so we can-“
“Absolutely,” Timothée agreed before I could speak further. I was surprised he didn’t even stop to consider it.
By the time I calmed my nerves he already had the shower running and was undressed. He disappeared behind the curtain.
I stripped off my sodden clothing. I got in the shower and saw Timmy with his eyes closed, a blissed out expression on his face. I was still cold from the lack of water touching me.
“I d-don’t know if it’s big enough for the two of us,” I shivered.
“It is if we stand closer, c’mere,” he opened his arms. I moved slowly, unsure if he meant what I thought he did. He pulled me the rest of the way into a hug. I was against his soft skin.
We stood in the downpour of steaming water. My skin tingled as we heated up. I had goosebumps for other reasons though. I could hear his heartbeat. I snuggled closer to him, taking what I could while I could.
He let me go once we were both newly wet with warm water. He turned to grab the soap.
“You just helped me knock something off my bucket list,” I admitted, my skin hot with embarrassment.
“Yeah?” He asked. He slathered shampoo onto his hair. I wished so badly I could rub it in for him and wash it out. His hair was curlier than mine and I didn’t know if it needed special care. He didn’t seem to mind my products though.
“Uh huh, always wanted to hug someone in a shower,” I admitted. I turned away so I wouldn’t see the face he made. I was too scared with how vulnerable I was being.
I began to wash my hair as well. We were silent for a while, taking turns in the steam.
“Y/n, was there anything else you’ve always wanted to do?” He asked cheekily. I wondered if he was thinking the same naughty things I was. I’d seen his body plenty of times but for some reason, this whole shower, I’d avoided looking down.
“Like on your bucket list?” He continued when I was quiet.
“Yes,” I murmured.
“Well, what is it?” He asked. “Come on speak up, don’t just-“
I grabbed his face and kissed him. We were gasping into one another’s mouthes under the sprinkle. I could taste his tongue and I moved my arms so they were around his neck. His hands were on my waist.
“This okay?” I asked as I kissed down his jaw and neck.
“Uh huh,” he nodded, nearly breathless. I pressed my lips to his shoulders and then his pecs. I moved down and down. His nipples were adored, his torso, his hip bones and finally I was mouthing over his happy trail.
“Ahhh fuck me,” he gasped.
“I’ve always wanted to suck someone off in the shower,” I said, looking up at Timothée with gleaming eyes.
“Fucking hell, y/n,” he exclaimed. I grinned at him as I began to stroke him. He was immediately hardening. I loved how easily he would stiffen for me. He always told me it was so intense with me.
“I fucking love your cock,” I moaned. “I love your body.”
I slurped his dick into my mouth. I bobbed down until my nose nuzzled his bush. I began to move and gag on his cock.
“Oh f-fuck, oh fucking fuck,” he babbled. He shakily lifted a hand to steady himself on the wall. I looked up at him, and watched the water sluice down his perfect body.
“You’re so pretty when you’re like this,” he cried out. “You do so good for me. You suck cock like a fucking machine. Holy shit, oh my FUCK!”
I reached down and began to fondle my clit. Timothée’s eyes went as wide as saucers. He was panting. I watched his stomach clench and unclench. He always went wild for head. He was a mess.
“That’s it, yes, make yourself feel good. Oh fuck you are the hottest thing ever. How are you like this!” He was moaning and his knees were buckling.
The water was washing the drooling from my chin. He was big and I was trying my best to worship him. I let my other hand slip around to his lovely ass and push him further down my throat.
“Oh, yes, yes,” he agreed. He looked almost apologetic with how he was snapping his hips forward. His hand went to the back of my head. He was quivering, his large eyes worshiping my form.
“S-sorry,” he croaked as he pushed my head so I sucked him deeper. “C-can’t help it. It feels so GOOD! Your wet, warm, snug mouth. Oh fuck, oh fuuuuuck.”
His other hand clumsily grabbed the shower curtain. I was now humping his leg, pressing my sensitive parts against it, and he was thrusting his dick as far down my willing throat as possible.
“Fuck, thank you, thank you, fuck you’re a miracle. You’re a fucking perfect, fucking, cock sucker! Oh shit, I don’t even deserve you.”
The praise was getting me even more needy. My clit was swollen and throbbing. He was totally lost to the feeling of the blow job, his head thrown back in bliss.
“Fuck, baby, I’m close. You gonna swallow? You know I love when you swallow and you always do. Fuck, I know you will, you’re so good to me.”
“Mmhmmm,” I let him know I was more than willing to gulp down all he had.
“I’m gonna, ohh, stunning girl, I’m gonna fucking bust,” he whimpered.
It all happened so fast. His first spurt had shot into my mouth, and he’d made an intense grunt of pleasure, when the shower curtain rod came crashing down. He been pulling too hard in his bliss. He slipped forward. I was knocked on my ass and he fell ontop of me. He was still cumming, unable to stop the emissions now. The rod clattered onto the floor. The warm spray still splattered onto our backs. He was over top of me groaning. His cock was trapped between us and I felt one final splurt of cum.
“Oh shit, shit fuck, are you okay?” He asked me.
“I’m fine, yeah, a bit taken off guard,” I admitted.
“I’m sorry,” he said and pushed wet tendrils out of my face. He was staring into my eyes in a way he never had before.
“I could have really hurt you y/n, and you were just trying to give me pleasure,” he said in a soft voice.
“I-I well yeah, but it’s not a big deal,” I chuckled awkwardly.
“I think it is,” Timothée said, and cupped my face.
“Oh, well….” I trailed off. I didn’t know why he didn’t get up. There was likely water on the floor and he was taller than me and couldn’t be comfortable in this position.
“I don’t think I want to be friends with benefits anymore,” he whispered.
“What? What why? Is it because I didn’t swallow? I promise next time I will-“
“No,” Timmy said solemnly. “Because I want to be more than that.”
“L-like something Romantic?” I hedged.
“Yeah,” he smiled sweetly. “Something like that. Would you like that?”
“Are you fucking me with me?” I beamed. “I thought you’d never ask. I have wanted that for so long.”
I realised I had barely even admitted that to myself. I’d been so scared of being the first one to speak up. It was true though.
“You promise I didn’t hurt you?” He asked as he got up. I turned the water off and carefully stepped out of the shower.
“My ass might be a little bruised,” I shrugged. The pain in my bum was nothing compared to the joy I had at finally being something serious with Timothée.
“Hmmm,” he purred and pulled me to him, gently holding an ass cheek. “Nothing a little ass eating can’t fix I’m sure.”
“I’m sure too,” I giggled.
“Then let’s get ourselves to that bedroom and fuck as a couple yeah?” He asked.
“Sounds like a plan,” I grinned.
@pmak2002 @softhecreator @plutoispurplw @sp1deyyf4ngz @seungcheol17daddy @jesschalamet @vvsdreaming
148 notes · View notes
staraxiaa · 3 months
Text
sunflowers, the afterword:
author's corner/first thoughts.
okay. so. i am insane. i am a god. i just wrote 18k words for a fic that i thought of, planned, and created fully in less than two days, bc someone said i like to make ppl suffer and yes i do. but then i was like, i am GOING to write fluff and i took it personally. to that one reader, thank you!! anyways. i wrote this with the intent of using the prompt "you wanna kiss me so bad it makes you look stupid" and barely even ended up using it. i don't know whether to laugh or cry. i hope it doesn't flop but also it's okay if it does bc i literally spent almost 48 hours brainrotting and word vomiting like it's out of my brain now and this feels glorious. it was random unfiltered thoughts and grinding away at 3am until i am empty. no thoughts left in my head. can you see? i could eat the world raw, the itch has been scratched. the sheer amount of motivation i had w this fic is never happening again. cheers! will update as i think of things! sorry to anyone who ends up reading this fully. i have been unreasonably fixated and have brainrotted over this for two hours, inclusive of sleeptime. while sleeping. i kid you not. i would wake up and something would click and i would hop over to the laptop and fucking grind away i am so sick of myself
unwritten scenes, headcanons
you guys are 20. you haven't started dating yet. you're a doctor. you guys are yelling at each other. you say 'you want to kiss me so bad it makes you look stupid.' katsuki's so angry that he does. ⇁ this was the original ending btw but i thought this one kinda fit better he brings you sunflowers sometime. real ones. he's sneezing all the while. you take one look at him and you die of laughter. he's still sneezing. you tell him: you know i actually didn't even care about them until i found out you were allergic. ⇁ if i could write nsfw i would do it here like dude do u see the vision omfg a whole side plot where he's like what the fuck do you mean you weren't dating deku. you're like. what the fuck. are u stupid. someplace where you actually address how you treat midoriya, his lack of a quirk, and how you stood by and watched it all happen ua sports festival. you kick everyone's ass. #you have been trained by eraserhead and you are super duper cool i also don't remember if i included this, but: your mother asks you after the first evening. "you're not really friends are you." you say: "nope!" and it is the happiest she has ever seen you. the ua boys try to flirt with you and get hurt really stupidly a lot on purpose. you wonder why they've stopped showing up. it's bc katsuki gives them a whole earful. and you're like bitch what the fuck im a doctor and and hes just tsundere about it first kiss scene instead of the ending where he's like you care and you're like of course i do??? what the fuck?? are u stupid?? you guys start yelling at each other and you're both acting like ur 2. he calls you stupid and blind. you call him ugly. he's so mad he literally just lurches forward and kisses you. it's awkward and messy and you guys are so mad at each other. you literally headbutt him in the face. ah young love. ⇁ this was another alternative ending more exploration behind reader's character, her insecurities, and about some of the stuff i info dumped before the start of the katsuki povs? i feel like i didn't handle that as well as i could have, but i also didn't want to go on 10 billion tangents for things that had very little relevance to the story. i also think the transition to the last scene was a little abrupt, but tbh at that point i was just so ready to call it like. i just didn't see the point. i think it would have made for a more natural reading experience, so here's the tea: he's proud of u but u guys are angsty and ignore each other until after training camp. [more brainrot pining moments]. if i had to write the above scene, i think i'd do something along the lines of: you're first aid relief at the sports festival, not actively participating. dunno if you'd be nearly as badass, though. you definitely get pissed when they muzzle katsuki and probably get rly mad but ofc u cant show it. so u just unmuzzle him and walk away and hes staring after u. this is ur ??? elsa arc? i dont remember the disney princess. the training camp is torture. aizawa makes u run with them. you tell him straight up that u hate his guts. he grins like that is the best thing anyone has told him in his life. katsuki definitely blows up some earth monsters for u. but while ur not looking. he's angsty like that. the bath scene? oh lord u just know he blows mineta up. maybe he lowk fucks it up too and you have to heal it! the potential HAHAHA. i dont know how you end up getting kidnapped, but id probably just bullshit a reason like ur the #1 healer in the world hurr durr and afo wants u! idgaf if the plot makes sense or not this is entirely secondary to my scheming. katsuki just about loses it when he hears you're one of the targets -> how you get kidnapped? idk. you're not a remedial student, so you're probably participating in the game (odd number of ppl right). unsure of how i'd handle the news of your kidnapping: just know katsuki loses it again. for like the 5th time. yipppeeeeee
character notes, thoughts
your quirk is literally just you take people's injuries into your own body and heal it yourself. you're superhuman. i put 2 thoughts into this: 1) you're a healer and 2) i like cool characters. congratulations. you have now been born. i don't even remember if i kept the shouto scene. but anyways i think my bias was showing. just had to throw him in there. also the kuroo mention. sorry i'm totally normal and i mean it ⇁ btw i love you all (everyone who likes/interacts with my fics) but i joke to my friends everytime someone interacts w my first bakugo/midoriya ones from lacuna bc guys!!! my shoto fic is RIGHT THERE!!! the baby that launched the entire collection. please show him some love this reader is probably one of the favorite ones i have written, more of an oc at this point i think, and i wasn't expecting her to grow on me so much. but lowk i love her and am so proud of the way i wrote her growth!! i do feel like i wrote her very soft, but i hope her flaws were made very clear⏤ she is meant to be a sort of unreliable narrator, so she also is overly critical of her own, but there were several things that were not addressed as i was writing, particularly concerning midoriya. (quirk, the bullying, bystander's guilt.) however, i think that including them would have made me go off on a tangent, and detract more from the main point of the story i also do think i wrote katsuki a little ooc, if only because i didn't see the point of including what's already there in canon. sorry. my brainrot did not extend that far, and by the end of this, i was literally ready to drop. his perspective isn't meant to be all-encompassing (in the story, it may seem like it purely bc of how i paced it) but those are meant to be like. random thoughts that appear in several scenes. reader does not have bakugo living rent free in her head 24/7, and neither does he. they're just stupid and pining and i just wrote all the moments in my head where they do.
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Stolen Soul and Love
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Valentino x fem!reader
warning : flirting, some fluff, inner strugle, obsession, falling in love in Val's own twisted way
Summary : One more meeting with the Overlords of Hell and he would have loved to kill himself, but he couldn't escape the responsibility any longer. The meeting was made all the sweeter when his red eyes settled on something he had never seen before pure love.
Info : THANK YOU ALL from my heart on my first HH work it means a lot. I'm glad you all enjoyed it so much and hoep you have fun with my future works
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He was a pimp, one of the three overlords who showed their power more than clearly every day. He had everything: hookers, money, souls and power.
He was perfectly happy, I mean, he had the porn star from hell Angeldust and the TV demon Vox's ass was practically his. Everything the moth-like demon could want was his.
But why did he have this gnawing feeling inside him, like a growling, a chirping, a buzzing, like a moth, a fucking moth looking for something.
But what was it when he had everything but that one gnawing feeling inside him when he saw her. He was inevitably summoned to the Overlord meetings and for once he couldn't avoid it because it was probably about something important.
The three Overlords entered the room with an engaging appearance and the moth demon made himself as comfortable as possible in the damned narrow chairs.
The meeting seemed to begin, the reports were always the same, the souls the same and the danger the same. ,,Get to the point, Carmilla darling, some of us have a fashion empire to run," Velvette muttered, glancing up from her cell phone, which made Vox snicker, who was probably more focused on his ratings, which had dipped a bit due to his nemesis Alastor.
Nothing a fuck can't fix, Valentino thought, taking a drag on his cigarette and letting the engulfing red smoke billow around him before taking a puff across the room.
He kept his hands off the smiling radio demon, however, who had only given the three of them a quick glance, and had to hold Vox to prevent his cute TV head from cracking another one.
Letting his gaze drift, his gold tooth flashing in the light of the lamps and inwardly wondering which was the best setting for the next porno, he heard the door open. All the overlords were there, so it could only be one of the subjects and enemies.
And actually he wasn't going to look behind his heart-shaped glasses but when he saw that sweet smell he just knew something wasn't normal. It was the sweet irresistible alluring attractive smell and no one else in hell had it but him.
The red eyes searched first for a demon of lust perhaps, something powerful but no he found only a simple demoness maybe a little cat-like as the fuzzy ears on her head indicated but otherwise like any normal inhabitant here in hell.
But why did she smell so good? What was it that he felt that he had never felt? He watched her as she walked with a silver tray under her arm to the respective overlords to order a few drinks.
It seemed as if he could see she was neither a robot nor a slave but rather one of Carmilla's protégés dark silver white clothes a pretty dress but a little too long for his taste. It didn't lack class, which a little smoke can't change.
With a grin he waited in his seat until she came to him and blew his heart out to her. ,,Aren't you a sweetie?" he grinned, ignoring her superior's gaze and having long since forgotten the conversation and the meeting.
She smiled slightly and the moth demon felt his wings needing to flap, moving his fingers almost hastily across the table as he slowly came a little closer to her.
He was nervous, a fact that shocked him.  ,,Pretty trick Sir Valentino... what kind of drink do you want?" she asked, not moving away from him and following the red smoke lightly with her eyes, which slowly settled around her but didn't seem to take her in. He didn't check her at a glance even though her sweetness was so close to him.
One kiss, one look, one lick with his tongue was enough and he knew what made her come. But no, he didn't. He just said, ,,Love potion with berries, dear" before the tall man stood up again, pulling back first and looking at her form from behind his glasses. This feeling inside him was something he thought couldn't be.
Nervous and twitchy...am I no or? his thoughts revolved around her at that moment and why his dark heart in hell still beat for anyone at all. Could it be, could it really be that the pimp and overlord could lose his heart to a simple demon? He didn't know, but the way he felt it was like back then.
He still vaguely remembered his former life of this body function when people fell in love. But he didn't have any more time to think about it when the door opened again after a few minutes and he saw that she had come back.
Several drinks were lying on the silver tray and he could just see his puinken with berries sticking out. ,,Thank you dear, say would you like to earn a little extra money, maybe even become the star at my side?" he smiled, shielding her from the others with his wings.
His hands slowly placed themselves on her shoulders, wanting to have her with him forever. ,,You're different from AngelDust, from the princess of everything here... you could be my star," he suggested, watching her red eyes as she slowly realized what he was alluding to, what he really wanted and what it meant for her. ,,Sir-Lord I mean Valentino I'm flattered," she stammered and suddenly he felt the arrogance return to him.
He knew demons knew that once they were so taken in, once they were flattered, it was easy, wasn't it? ,,And so beautiful," he complimented and let the smoke slowly close around her.
Carmilla may have taken her, but in the end you are mine, thought the demon as he brought the back of her hand to his lips, running his tongue over it in a surprisingly gentle, warm and inviting way.
He saw her embarrassment, how she couldn't pull away and didn't want to. ,,And do I have you?" he asked, coming closer to her and wanting her closer, not like Angel, but wanting her in a different way, always with him somehow.
Before he was suddenly pulled away slightly by her and landed back on his chair, ,,Hands off my employee Valentino!" Carmilla warned and Val raised his hands placatingly and rolled his eyes. ,,Not at all Carmilla, I only wanted to confess my unethical feelings to such a pretty creature," grinned Valentino, feeling himself turning back into the demon he knew.
Before he spread his wings in warning and walked past the overlords with a broad grin. ,,See you around, pretty," he murmured with a wink before his wisp of smoke announced his departure and the moth demon withdrew from the meeting.
With his very own recognition of this meeting. He had to possess this beauty in one way or another and he had truly fallen in love, one more reason for him to get her soul and her heart when she had long since stolen both from him.
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yandere-kokeshi · 2 years
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Yandere Ghost with a gn pregnant darling headcanons
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The skin color in the picture is nothing but a reference. The reader is YOU; I'm not excluding anyone.
Warnings: yandere behavior, and talks about pregnancy.
A/N: hope you enjoy! This is also pointed at gn audience. König version should be out in a few days.
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He’s too quiet. His mind demands that you repeat it all for him. A series of emotions are washed over him, one being happiness and uncertainty. However, a smile spreads on his face, his hands pulling at your hips as he envelops you in a tight embrace.
“Your... ? — c’mere luve. I’m so happy – this is… perfect. Thank you.”
He makes sure to document everything. He’s incredibly cautious of things, reminding you to drink a bunch of water and eat things that won’t give you heartburn; if that food you want is too hot, he’ll wait for it to be a perfect temperature for you to eat.
Simon’s extremely keen on every detail about you. He will always be there when you throw up, holding back your hair (if it’s long enough). Reassuring you when you need it, keeping calm with the mood changes and lack of muscle aches which he will massage for you.
On the topic of massaging, he doesn’t mind one bit about it. Wherever it aches, he will make sure to rub it out with a lotion of yours, asking you questions if it hurts or makes you uncomfortable while your favorite show is on.
The mood changes don’t bother him — he stays calm the entire time. He’ll take your snapping and yelling like a champ, taking a deep breath as he leaves the room for your privacy. Simon embraces you the moment he sees your lips tremble and tears fall, comforting you with a few kisses and assuring words.
Your privileges of showering alone are taken away; images of you slipping and getting hurt make him nauseous. As much as he respects your privacy, which he respects fully and heartily, Simon just doesn’t want you to get hurt. That being said, either he’ll be in the same room, looking over to you every few minutes to make sure you are okay or he’ll step in to help with washing your body, and praising you as he does so.
When your tummy starts to show, he will hint for you to wear his clothes more; leaving them near you, possibly taking away your shirt when in the shower, or picking out a few of his shirts for you when you can’t decide which one of yours will work for you.
Speaking of your tummy growing, Simon gets extremely annoyed whenever people try to touch you, even with closest friends or family members. His anger and annoyance are higher, especially with people he's not so sure about. He hates having people running up to you, he's lenient with children, strict with women, and God helps any men who come near you.
For the next couple of months, it’s expected for things to get harder: driving in cars is slightly more uncomfortable, and going grocery shopping or doing small errands becomes more tiresome. With this info, Simon helps out as much as he can, never blaming you for wanting to go home early or snapping at him over a minor thing.
Cravings don’t bother him. No matter how tired he is, he’ll get out of bed and get you a certain snack. Though, sometimes when there isn’t that type of food you want that isn’t in the fridge, he’ll lazily drive down to the nearest 7/11 market and achieve it; coming back with a small ‘here ya’ go sweetheart,’ before falling asleep near your belly.
Definitely keeps the picture of the ultrasound in his breast pocket at all times. He loves admiring it, smiling under his mask as he can’t wait to have more pictures in the future.
Anything with you being in high places makes his heart race. He will use his commanding voice, grabbing you under the armpits as he lectures you. Even if it’s not high, or you decide to talk back, he will glare at you before ushering you to sit down.
Surprisingly, you will be seeing Soap more (possibly the team as well!). Ghost trusts them enough to be around you, asking them (Soap mostly) to stop by to check up on you when he can't. Expect him to join a few dinners!
During the nights when it's the two of you, Simon gets clingier — holding you tighter, his tattooed arm always covering your belly as he talks with you; mumbling about what kind of clothes or their personality will be like. Hell, he even speaks about what kind of hair color or eye color they’ll have.
When he’s on call or a mission, he tries to get home as fast as he can. Before he leaves, Ghost makes sure to kneel on the ground, kissing your tummy with a small mumble of ‘keep em’ company’ before kissing you sweetly, promising he’ll be back as soon as he can.
For the time being, he will get on calls with you; hearing you do your things on the other end as he lays down wherever he is. Though, when he can’t get on a call with you, he will send more texts than usual — asking how the baby is, and if everything is okay.
Though, when he does come back to you, expect some… surprises he likes to pull in the bedroom and main room.
Simon will definitely talk to the baby. Mostly, it’s when you’re asleep — but sometimes you will catch him talking to your belly, drawing shapes around the sides as he reads about his thoughts, expressing his fears and promises that he’ll keep you two safe.
Because of his past, he will doubt himself — quite a lot. While he does know you will be the most amazing guardian; and with your help, he will too. However, that doesn’t stop his fear of becoming his father, having a harder time grasping that around his head; fear rumbling in his stomach. With reassuring words and his vulnerable personality around you, Simon will surely pass these thoughts and expect better things for the future.
When you are closer to the due date, his anxiety gets worse. While he is excited, he’s extremely anxious something will happen; everything he’s known has been forcibly taken away from him.
However, the mental picture of you holding the baby bean, the two of you watching their first steps, or hearing their first words overshadows those fears; making him feel more ecstatic about the family you two have soon created
Masterlist || Please reblog or comment instead of liking, it helps a bunch!
Do not plagiarize, repost, modify, translate or copy my work.
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One For The Road [1]
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Cecil Dennis x AFAB!Reader • Rating: 18+ pals• masterlist • ao3• want to be tagged? • request info • ko-fi •
Series Masterlist
Summary: Cecil forgets he invited you over.
A/N: The biggest thank you to @thexsanctuaryx for beta reading this and fixing some of my British-isms <3 I owe you my life!
Warnings: mentions of alcohol, mentions of weed, weed use, fleshlights, Cecil talking about 'Catcher In The Rye', fingering, Cecil coming in his pants, please let me know if I've missed a warning!
Word Count: 3404
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You Sit and Talk to Me on the Floor
You lean back against the sofa, getting comfortable as your high pleasantly buzzes in the back of your head.
You’d been pretty pissed when you’d got here and Harry was nowhere to be found. (You, him and Cecil and Harry’s new girlfriend Mary-Ann, who you hadn’t met yet, had plans to hang out and watch a film. Or at least that’s what Cecil had told you.) He’d grinned when he’d opened the door, “What are you doing here?”
Turns out he’d been high (unsurprising) when he’d messaged and asked you. And had promptly forgotten all about it without letting Harry or Mary-Ann know. 
And now Harry was ‘working’. Or something. Cecil wasn’t exactly clear. 
Ever since he’d been dumped by his girlfriend Cecil had been staying with his cousin to ‘get back on his feet’, or more correctly, ‘make a mess, panic, tidy the house in a crazy rush to a standard that would put a professional kitchen to shame and then repeat’. 
He’d apologised for a good fifteen minutes when he realised his mistake, and had offered you a brownie as he ushered you inside. 
“Is there weed in this?” 
He stared at you like you’d grown an extra head. “It’s a brownie.”
“You know pot isn’t a standard ingredient, right?”
He’d pulled a face that made you laugh. “What’s the point in that?” 
.
Cecil sits on the floor, leaning against the sofa and lolling his head back as he talks to you, “I’m really glad you came actually, sorry again,” he smiles shyly, “I was kinda lonely.”
“You can hire people for that.” You tease and he snorts.
“No, that’s not what I mean. Besides,” he shrugs, “I’m broke.” 
You giggle, finding it far funnier than you normally would. 
He grins and takes a swig of his beer before another hit from his bong. 
“How many brownies did you have?” You ask, interested, you’d only had one. 
“Two… and a half.” 
“And you’re smoking too?” 
“Yeah? I mean,” he puffs up his chest proudly, “I got a high tolerance.”
“If there were an olympics in getting high you’d probably get a gold.” 
“I definitely would get a gold, I bet they used to have that, weed consuming, in the olympics I mean. They used to have poetry and people competing naked and everything, and then it got ruined.” 
“With clothes or lack of poems?” You smile.
“Both.” He nods confidently. “Though maybe some clothes is a good idea…” He ponders for a moment, “I bet if you run and you got no pants on your dick just,” he flops his hand around like crazy and you giggle, “I mean, that would hurt. And boobs!”
“Boobs?” You wheeze out. 
“Yeah, I bet some boobs would hurt too, you need those high impact bras and all that.”
“How do you know about that?” You run your hand through his hair absentmindedly, he always did have such soft, rich curls. 
“I’m a guy of knowledge, you know. I know many things.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” 
“Like what then?” 
He leans a little into your touch, smiling as you stroke his hair. “Erm, I know that this,” he taps the part of the sofa he’s leaning against, “is called a sofa skirt.” 
“Is not.”
“Is too.” He grins at you when you poke out your tongue. “I know the sky’s blue because of Rayleigh scattering-”
“What’s Rayleigh scattering?” 
“Why the sky is blue.”
“Cecil…” You roll your eyes playfully and he giggles. 
“Okay, okay, it’s to do with light particles and how they,” he waves his hand to the side making a buzzing noise, “move about when they’re in a wavelength.”
“How do you know that?”
He shrugs, “I dunno. Just do. Something stuck once I guess.”
You nod, “Pretty impressive skill.”
“Nah,” he shakes his head, “I don’t control what sticks, I’ve literally read every single math book I ever could on how to do algebra when I was in high school and nothing.” He pauses and then smiles, “I can quote Catcher in the Rye to you though.” 
“What?” You shift a little, leaning closer. “Like the whole thing?”
“Mostly,” he shrugs again but he puffs his chest out, obviously pleased at your interest. “But I guess I could just be making it up if you don’t know it word for word and don’t have a copy in front of you.” 
“I trust you.” You say kindly and he beams. 
“Well, okay, look, first paragraph, because it’s easy,” he swallows and clears his throat. 
“If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don't feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth.” He puts on a voice as he speaks, at first it’s jokey as he tries to poke a little fun at himself, but as he continues it relaxes, becomes more like he’s inhabiting the voice of the character. 
“That’s very, very cool.” You grin and he smiles shyly, looking down at his hands before taking another hit. “Yeah, well, doesn’t help much.”
“You like Catcher in the Rye?” 
He nods. “Got an A+ on that report.” He grins, “I always thought it was sad, you know? The story I mean. Just a kid trying to be an adult because that’s what society implies, when really he just wants to be… you know… enjoy his childhood.” He nods a little. “I like that his little sister is more mature than him, that he has this innocence to him. That even though the story is about a loss of that, in the end, I dunno, I don’t think it fully happened.” 
You incline your head, staying quiet so he’ll continue.
“I mean, I think he’s still innocent. Still playing at being an adult. Like everyone is.” He shrugs, shaking his head. “But whatever.” 
You give his shoulder a light shove, “But whatever? Cec,” you lean forward, your hand still in his hair, “that’s so good, like insightful.” You say sincerely. 
He gives you a bashful smile, his eyelashes fluttering a little as you compliment him. “Yeah, you know, thanks.” There’s the smallest flush to his cheeks. “You’re so smart and everything so that means a lot.” 
“Cec,” you say softly, shaking your head, “you gotta think better of yourself.”
He nods halfheartedly.
“Really, you got to, you…” You pause, trailing off as something catches the light and inadvertently, your eye. It’s shoved to the side, on the floor between the right hand side of the sofa and the wall. 
Cecil looks around to where you’re staring, mildly interested for a moment before his eyes widen. “Oh, shit, sorry!” He goes to push it further under the couch and out of sight but doesn’t reach far enough and ends up falling onto his side and flailing about. 
“Is that what I think it is?” You giggle, unable to stop yourself. 
“Erm…” He looks up at you, trying his best to give you a winning smile from the floor. “That depends on what you think it is?” His voice is hopeful. 
“A flesh light?” 
He groans and puts his hand dramatically over his face. 
You laugh harder. 
“Ugh.”
“It is?” You ask excitedly, unsure why this is amusing you quite so much. 
“Mhmmm.” 
“Yours?” 
“Yes.” 
“Oh my goooooood,” you lean down and ruffle his hair until he has to take his hand off his face to bat you away and starts laughing, “Cecil getting it on in the living rooooooom.” 
“No!” He lies.
“Ohhhhh, is that what you were doing before I got here?” The glee in your voice is palpable. “Is that why it took you so long to answer the door?” 
“Stop.” He tries to pout but keeps laughing. “I hadn’t got that far yet.”
“Yet?” 
“You came over! That’s more important than jacking off.” 
You snort loudly. “I’m honoured.” 
He pulls a playful face and lightly smacks your calf. 
“I wouldn’t have stopped having a wank just because you came over.” You joke and Cecil bursts into hysterics. 
He manages to calm down long enough to spit out his next words, “I wouldn’t ask you to stop.” 
“What?” 
“If you wanted to get down and whatever, that’s fine, I’d just hang in the kitchen.” 
It’s your turn to have a laughing fit. “Oh, you’re so slimy.” You tease, adjusting your skirt as you move.
“No, no,” he sits up, still giggling, his cheeks flush. “I wouldn’t watch or listen, I’m not being a perv.” 
“Sure, sure.” 
“Hey! I don’t need to spy on people, I can, you know.”
“What?” You grin.
“See it on the TV whenever.” 
You start laughing again. You had been expecting a bit of macho, ‘I can pick up willing partners whenever I want to’, not ‘I’ll watch some porn’. 
“Yeah?” You prod him in the arm playfully. 
“Yeah.” He nods, “that’s what I was doing before you came over.” 
“Oh, good to know.” You chuckle. Part of you knows it’s the weed that’s making you a little less guarded than you usually were, but you can’t help yourself. “What were you watching then?”
“Well, I hadn’t decided yet.” He shrugs, but he’s grinning, obviously quite happy to talk with you about this. “I was having a look.” 
“On what?” 
“PornHub,” he shuffles towards the TV on his knees and grabs the remote and then his phone. “I cast it, see,” the screen mirrors his phone as he scrolls through. “I was just browsing.” 
“You say that so casually.” You goad him playfully. 
“Yeah, well, I mean why not? Most people look at porn.” 
You nod.
“Don’t you?” He asks, quite innocently as he cocks his head to the side. 
Heat rushes under your skin. “Well, erm, yeah, I mean.” 
He grins, but not in a gloating way, more pleased that you’re both sharing something. 
“What, erm,” you squirm a little, feeling foolish and trying to push the focus back to him. “What do you normally watch?” 
“Like porn wise?” 
“Mmhmmm.” 
He grins, “lots actually, my tastes are very varied.” He says like he’s talking about wine. “Sometimes two girls, sometimes a guy and a girl, sometimes two guys, sometimes a group. Sometimes just someone by themselves.” He shrugs and looks up at you, when he sees you’re still listening he swallows and continues, “I got a favourite.” 
You nod, your mouth dry. 
“It’s two girls, erm, it’s not even like, that,” he waves his hands, “it’s just, it’s quieter, I guess? They sound more… natural. Like it’s not being put on for show, and they got like, these suits. It’s not like latex or anything, not that there’s a problem with that, it’s sort of like body suits, skin tight, but hands are free, and boobs, and,” he motions to his crotch, “down there, and… they sort of… like just…” his face reddens a little more. “They, rub together in like missionary and come and… and it just sounds so nice. They look like they’re really enjoying it.” 
He looks up at you again and fidgets, his eyes dark. 
The nervous expression, the flush to his cheeks shouldn’t be endearing, shouldn’t make you feel a twist of heat in your stomach. 
“I could… show you?” He says quietly, like he’s trying to tiptoe around something else. 
You find yourself nodding once, saying, “Okay.” before you even realise it. 
He finds it quickly on his phone and sits down next to you on the sofa, a hands width away. 
You stare at the TV while looking at him from the corner of your eye. 
“This reminds me of high school.” He says quietly, biting his lips together. “A group of us used to, when porn was harder to get hold of, used to like, watch it together and smoke.” 
You nod, a quick reply simply not coming. 
The video starts, the two women posing for the camera before they make their way to the bed.
“I used to worry,” he continues, “because sometimes weed makes me really horny.” He shrugs, flinching inwardly at why he said that. 
“I get that.” You swallow. 
One woman climbs on top of the other. 
“You do?” He asks. 
“Yeah,” why are you speaking, why can’t you just shut up? “The horny thing.” 
“From smoking or watching porn?” He asks innocently. 
“Both, I guess.” 
He hums, nodding. “Me too.” 
You both continue to watch for a moment in an odd silence, the air is thick with an oppressive weight. You want to look at him again, want to see his soft eyes and plump lips. 
Cecil shifts a little, fidgeting once before he pushes the heel of his hand against his leg and… wait… not his leg. 
His erection is straining against his jeans.
You can’t help but look, going over the shape and outline and- You freeze. He’s looking right at you.
“Sorry.” He gives you a sheepish smile as if he was the one that had been caught perving. “Guess it’s a bit more obvious on me.” He jokes, but the tips of his ears still flush. 
“No, yeah, I mean…” you stumble over your words, trying to fill the gaps as the moans from the TV grow louder and… they did sound like they were having fun. “I mean,” you swallow and start again, “I, if I had a dick, you’d see it,” you motion your hand upright. 
“Yeah?”
You nod. 
“Not just saying that to make me feel better?” He asks, gently nudging you in the shoulder.
“No… I would.” 
He gives you a sweet look, but it’s still disbelieving. 
“Cecil, I’m not lying.” 
“I don’t know…” 
“Why would I lie?”
“You’re too nice all the time, it’s not lying it’s ‘sparing my feelings’.” He motions with his hands.
“Well, I’m not,” you fold your arms. “I’m being truthful.”
“Okay.”
“Cecil.”
“I said okay,” he teases. “I’m agreeing with you.”
“But you don’t believe me.” 
He nods. “That’s true.”
You huff air through your nose, exasperated. “I’m not lying.”
“Sure.”
“There’s no point to me lying.” Your voice raises a little at the end, which only makes it sound more like you are lying. 
“Okay.” 
“Oh, fuck you.” 
He laughs, “just because you’re a dirty and bad liar, doesn’t mean-”
You don’t know why you do it, but you grab a hold of his hand and press it forcefully between your legs. “See?” Your voice sounds sure of itself, like a gloat. But your mind is just only catching up with your actions. And the sensation of Cecil’s warm, thick fingers against your core. 
You’re wearing a skirt, the only thing separating your skin from his is the thin material of your panties which are undoubtedly damp. 
“Oh,” he breathes, his cock twitches. “Yeah, you’re…” 
You freeze, still holding his hand against you. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. 
His fingers brush a little against the cotton. The action takes you by surprise and much to your dismay a weak gasp leaves your lips.
He glances up to your face as you keep your eyes closed, screwing them shut to avoid his gaze. But seemingly he finds what he was looking for. 
He moves his fingers again, a little firmer this time, tracing a soft circle against your clit and you shudder. 
There’s a pause, a fraction of a second as he waits for you to stop him, to tell him no. 
You don’t. 
So he does it again, and again, and again until you’re squirming. Your breath is coming out fast as your hips shallowly move in time with his fingers. 
He inches closer to you, pressing his chest against your shoulder and resting his forehead on your temple. 
Cecil moans softly in your ear as you whine, your lip between your bottom teeth as you watch the two women fuck on screen without really seeing. 
He slowly presses on the damp patch, rubs along your core before he slips your underwear to the side and touches you lightly. 
You jolt, gasping, turning your head to press your forehead to his. 
He groans as he traces his forefinger along your slit, marvelling at the slick that coats the tip of his finger before he lightly pinches your clit. 
“Cecil,” you breathe. 
“It’s okay,” he mutters, kissing your cheek and then your lips gently, “it’s okay, it’s just a friend helping another one out. Just helping…” He drapes his free arm around your shoulders, his fingers mirroring the pattern of his other hand on your arm. 
He kisses you again, soft and sweet as he lightly teases you with the tip of his tongue. 
The second you part your lips he inhales deeply, angling his hand and pushing two fingers deep inside while flicking your clit with his thumb. 
You gasp, your moans music to his ears as he kisses you wantonly as he curls and strokes your walls. 
“Oh, god, you’re really wet,” he bites his lip, grunting as he presses closer, curls deeper until you’re bucking and practically sobbing. “Really tight, mmm, feel so nice inside.” He mumbles, not really registering what he’s saying as he pants in your ear. “Thank you for letting me, oh,” he shivers as you whine, grabbing hold of any part of him you can reach and clinging on, silently begging him to continue.
“Is that good? Is that where it’s nice?” He swallows, stroking the same spongy spot again and groaning when your thighs quiver. 
You nod rapidly and he coos, “oh good, good, mmm,” he kisses your neck, breathing deeply to fill his lungs with your scent. “God, so nice and warm, bet you got the cutest little pussy? Fuck.” He groans, moving so he can rub his crotch against your thigh, “you’ll let me look sometime? I would love to see it, bet it’s so sweet.” 
Your eyes roll back, your muscles tensing as he keeps moving, keeps pulling you closer to that edge. Your moans are overshadowing the sounds of the TV, the squelch of his fingers fucking you relentlessly bouncing around the room. 
You can hardly think, hardly form words, your mind obsessed with the reaction that all consuming pleasure that is so, so near. 
“Bet it’s the prettiest pussy I’ll ever see,” he groans, the friction of his jeans burning deliciously against his cock as he rubs himself over your thigh, making him lightheaded. Being near you is making him lightheaded. The fact that you’ve let him touch you, and be in you is dizzying and those sounds you’re making are enough to make him come on the spot. Right now, so close. Just a tiny little more friction and-
You clench around his fingers, crying out as your orgasm is pulled expertly from you. Cecil whines, keeps moving his thick fingers in that blinding pattern and pressure, as he follows you instantly. Your blissed out expression driving him clean over the edge. 
You shiver, your thighs shaking as you come, as the pleasure seems to stretch onwards and as Cecil moans softly in your ear. 
You both breathe, Cecil’s fingers still inside you as you stroke a hand through his hair. A wet patch starts to bleed into his boxers, but he doesn’t care. Not when you’re so close and he feels so happy.
He opens his mouth to speak and-
There’s a key in the lock, and the front door opens. You both jump, moving away from each other to the opposite ends of the sofa as Harry comes back. 
You feel oddly empty without his touch, without his fingers buried inside. 
Harry pokes his head around before he comes into the room, he looks at the bong and beer and porn still playing on the TV. “You guys started the party without me?” He kids. 
You laugh, not entirely convincing. 
“Cecil, man, what’re you doing showing off your porn playlist huh?” Harry jokes and Cecil shrugs. 
He’s using his forearm to cover any signs of his softening erection and wet patch, while he dangles his other hand off the arm of the sofa, out of Harry’s sight. Where his cousin can’t see how he rubs his slick covered fingers together.
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letomills · 2 months
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TS2 CC downloaders & creators discussion recap
Under the cut is a recap of the feedback gathered from the comments, community replies and reblogs on this thread. Thank you for taking the time to give your input! I tried to organize everything clearly in categories, with what was most often brought up at the top of each. I hope I didn’t forget anything. If I did, or you feel I didn't do your point justice, or you didn’t get a chance to say your piece, feel free to comment (I can always make edits). The text in brackets [] is my own remarks that I'm adding to the report.
About CC in general:
The people clamored for clear swatches/pictures that show which file corresponds to which recolor, so we can pick and choose what to keep.
Many people would like creators to put their usernames in their file names (or object descriptions) so they are easier to trace back to later. Two creators had counterpoints to this. One who has a long username said: “as a creator, I don't like to be told how I should name my files (besides identifying the thing clearly, which I think we really should do). If I've made the effort to make a thing, take previews, upload it, write the post etc. Just spend 5 seconds of your life renaming the file to whatever is convinient to you, I'm not going to add 16 characters to each of my files to include my username (I still think that longer names = longer loading time).” The other creator said: “As a creator, I don't want to put my full username in tooltips (just SB) because some hair names are quite long and I do not have the time to re tooltip the names.”
On the topic of file names, many people agreed that creators should not put special characters and spaces in their file names, to optimize loading times. One creator clarified: “the filenames should always have _ instead of spaces, as apparently this allows the game to load them easier/faster [...] underscores should be the only kind of special character in them” [use the Bulk Rename Utility - see tutorial by @ilovethesims2cc].
Still on file names, a Mac user said they dislike when file names are too long because apparently long file names are enough for Macs to shit themselves [sorry if I misunderstood, never had a Mac].
Several people mentioned disliking poorly optimized CC (one person listed: “bulky for no reason, unused bump maps, comically large or duplicated textures, things that could easily be repo'd but are not”), one person pointed out: “There is no reason a TS2 object needs a texture bigger than 1024x1024 unless it’s a special case like a skybox.”
One person said they dislike when a CC post lacks basic text info about what the download is. On this note, another person said they dislike when a creator isn’t clearly stating what mesh their recolors are for.
Two people asked that creators state their stuff’s polycounts.
Two people said they dislike when the recolors for a piece of CC are only available merged together, as they want to be able to easily choose which they want to keep. On the other hand, someone who “takes all recolors anyway” said they would like creators to offer a merged version of their recolors [you can merge CC to reduce loading times using LazyDuchess’s CC Merger].
One person recommended avoiding just using “here” as hyperlink text, but instead describing what you are linking to, so that if the link gets broken we still have a chance to find the thing. In the same vein, they and another person advised against reliance on an image alone to give info about the download. As we know, images can disappear, and a Google search won’t lead to the item if your post has no text that Google can detect.
About the images that creators do show, one person mentioned a download not having a proper preview as their pet peeve. On previews, two people recommended that the piece of CC be clearly visible and the main focus. Two people said they like when a preview of the item is included in the archive (“helpful when looking through old CC”).
One person said they appreciate when creators give two download links to two different hosting platforms, in case one of them ever breaks.
One person asked for creators to always test their stuff before uploading [it should go without saying but we do see egregious things to this day]. Their pet peeve is “CC with obvious issues that can’t have been tested properly in game! Don’t just look at it in build mode or bodyshop, actually use the item in live mode. Have a Sim wear the clothing or use the object!” They pointed out as an example that some CC lights don’t light up. Someone else said: “if there are minor imperfections, that's ok! But let your downloaders know what to expect.”
One person said that they enjoy reading detailed descriptions of CC: “Share your inspos, what went wrong, tag the pieces you used if you are Frankenmeshing because I might want those items too! Creating and sharing is deeply personal, don't be afraid to share a part of who you are in your downloads if you feel comfortable doing so.” [If I may offer a slight counterpoint, I think detailed technical info + proper crediting should always be frontloaded. And then, in a separate paragraph, you can write about how you made this because your grandma used to wear something similar on those cool autumn days back when you were 6. But please, don’t expect your audience to have to parse through your life story to get the basic info they need to even understand what the download is.]
On subfolders: one person mentioned that they dislike when individual files are placed in subfolders; someone else said they don’t like many subfolders within an archive; a third person said that when downloading a ‘bulk’ CC pack, they dislike when each item has its individual subfolder (unless the object has dozens of recolors).
One person said they dislike downloads that include a large number of things that aren’t all part of a single coherent set.
One person said they dislike gift/mega packages that don’t give the possibility to pick and choose what you’re downloading.
One person asked that creators compressorize their CC, unless there is a good reason for not doing so, reason that should be stated [yes please! Use jfade’s Compressorizer, found on this page].
One person said they like when creators who make recolors give a link to the mesh they are recoloring whenever possible, even if the mesh is included.
One person mentioned appreciating when creators include base PSDs in their downloads [they were talking about hair specifically but I suppose it can be done for other things too].
About Bodyshop CC specifically:
Many people mentioned disliking when a piece of clothing lacks a fat morph (as one person put it: ✨“its literally bigotry”✨ [iconic]), or has a fat morph that's blatantly a quickly WSO’d afterthought. Someone said: “Absurdly shaped/clipping fat morphs that were most probably never tested in game before uploading are pretty annoying”; someone else said: “I make male content and am constantly flabbergasted by some of the UM Top fat morphs that make no attempt to align with Bottom items, or look completely ridiculous. [...] WSOs are a great starting point, but that's just it: a starting point" [I couldn’t agree more]. One person added that clothes should also have preg morphs.
One person really wants tooltips. Someone else further asked that creators give actually helpful tooltips to their recolors to make it easier to identify which recolor corresponds to which file [you can use CatOfEvilGenius’s Tooltip utility to give your recolors tooltips that correspond to their file names].
One person mentioned gaps in meshes being their #1 pet peeve [putting this in this section because I’m assuming they’re referring to Bodyshop CC].
One person asks that creators give their accessories unique BIN numbers to make them layerable with other accessories.
The same person would like creators to remember to delete the inapplicable ages in their accessories [this also goes for hairs].
The same person also appreciates when creators make custom thumbnails for their accessories, “especially for accessories that are not on the face”.
The same person said: “Accessories that are 'part of the sim' (like ears, tails, etc.) should be showerproof”. Another person had the same request: “Body part accessories (such as animal ears, tails, horns, wings) should be available for all types of clothing.”
One person appreciates when hair meshers specify if their hair is animated or not.
One person would like to see more hairs for toddlers and children.
For geneticized skintones, one person said they find it helpful when the genetic number is indicated in the file name.
About Build & Buy CC specifically: 
Several people said they dislike when CC objects are set to an absurd price (like a couch for 1 simoleon) [this can be fixed with Pick’N’Mix’s Object Relocator], and two people added that they dislike when an object’s price isn’t congruent with their stats (like when an expensive bed has a low energy score). A creator further said: “whats worse is sometimes items are cloned from a very expensive item, and then the creator has reduced the stats shown in the description, but the bhav still has very high ratings, or sometimes it can be the other way around, an item might have been cloned from a cheap one, then their displayed stats are set to 10 but the bhavs still have low ratings”.
Three people said that they really appreciate when creators state which category their object is in and what the price is. One person said they appreciate when creators give info about how their object functions (“Is it just deco? Does it have hobby enthusiasm?” etc.). For complex objects, they like when there’s a video to show how it works. 
One person said they dislike when creators place objects in categories that don’t make sense. Someone said more specifically that they like when objects are put in categories other than deco/sculptures or deco/misc.
One person said they dislike blank object descriptions or object descriptions that were left the same as that of the Maxis object that the piece of CC was cloned from.
One person said they don’t like when objects aren’t enabled for quarter-tile placement [can be fixed in simPe or with the Object Relocator].
One person said they dislike non-functional objects (like a sofa that’s a sculpture).
One person brought up two experiences they and their friend had with CC beds that didn’t have unique GUIDs and therefore would override other beds. In the same vein, someone else said they dislike when a creator forgets to mention that their CC is not custom but default and will override something in the game.
One person encourages creators to learn about the TXMT settings of objects (e.g. should an object be reflective?) and praised @pforestsims and @shastakiss for their CC in that regard. Another person said they dislike when an object is too shiny, which is also a TXMT setting.
One person said they dislike “transparent cut out textures”. [I quote because I’m clueless about this:] “I’ve seen this a lot on TS3 or other game conversions, where the texture has been imported without enabling transparency, and you get ugly squares around draw handles and such. Import the texture as DXT 5 and enable AlphaTest in the TXMT.”
One person said they like when 4t2 conversions have several subsets.
The Mac user among us would like creators to resize their walls and floors for Macs, otherwise they show up grey in game.
About lots specifically:
Two people said they like when creators show the floor plans of their lots.
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Note
You never looked at the evidence if you really believe all they have is cropped screenshots. Your rhetoric about unrelated events in the past has nothing to do with your disgusting attitude towards people genuinely hurt and abused by that monster. It's clear all you've done is do exactly what Lily says to do and refuse to look at what her victims post. They are her VICTIMS. THE SAME VICTIMS YOU CALLED PREDATORS BECAUSE YOU DON'T WANT TO CLICK A FEW LINKS AND READ THROUGH POSTS THAT SPOONFEED YOU EVERYTHING SHE DOES.
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Really love how you ignored the fact that I said and I quote "I've watched plenty of videos going into the abuse allegations" and I've even name dropped Ethel (aka Essence of Thought) as an example.
I really loved that. It's adorable. Learn to fucking read.
Also I am a victim of Pedophilia and fyi my abuser actually is a free man because the courts said there was a "lack of evidence". Thanks for reminding of that, asshole.
But let me give you a simple thought experiment that I KNOW you're not going to answer or are going to find a way to weasel your way out of answering:
Lily Orchard stated that her parents were extremely abusive, her sister even stated this in her own blogs and in her interview with Essence of Thought. Her sister's Tumblr Bio even has her bragging about how she was their parent's favorite -- not Lily.
So let me ask you, if Lily's sister was the golden child and Lily was the scapegoat... WHY DIDNT HER SISTER OPEN HER FUCKING MOUTH?
Lily even stated that IF she was such an abusive disgusting asshole her parents would've MURDERED HER. Point blank. PERIOD.
IF Lily's sister was such a favorite, such a golden child, their parents would've killed Lily a long ass time ago.
Now let's look at recent events.
It's been confirmed by Lily and KP herself that KP tried to get Lily and her sister into a call together....
IF Lily was SUCH AN ABUSIVE ASSHOLE...WHO THE FUCK THINKS ITS A GOOD IDEA TO PUT AN ABUSER AND THEIR VICTIM IN THE SAME CALL LET ALONE THE SAME ROOM WITH EACH OTHER NO MATTER WHO THE FUCK THE THIRD PARTY IS????
That shit is NEVER a good idea. But what makes this shit even more sus to me is the fact that KP got UPSET when LILY FUCKING ORCHARD was the one to say "No!" LEAVE THE CALL when this idea was brought up. KP stated this.
Do you want to know what this says to me. This says that Lily wasn't the abuser in this situation.
Lily was having a trauma response.
But Lily's sister was the one open to the idea of getting into a call with her supposed abuser... WHAT THE FUCK???
As a victim of pedophilia I can honestly say to you that if someone tried to get me in a call with my bio father - my abuser - I'd run so fucking far I'd change my name and move to the other side of the fucking planet if I had to.
My own mother tried to get me to interact with my cousins, aunts, and uncles from my bio-fathers side of the family and the answer has always been "No!" every single fucking time.
Why?
Because I don't want to be anywhere near the IDEA of my abuser let alone anywhere near him.
It makes me sick. So tell me why the fuck is it that Lily's supposed victim, Lily's sister adopts Lily's name, actively reached out to one of her friends and even reached out to her on Deviant Art to INTERACT with Lily?
Everything that the sister does doesn't scream "this a victim of an abuser."
It screams "THIS IS A POWER PLAY FROM AN ABUSER!"
So let's look at what this entire situation says to me.
Lily Orchard didn't want to be forced by KP to join a call with one of her supposed "victims" and is her sister who has been BRAGGING about being their parents golden child and could've gotten her murdered at any time said sister felt like it. Lily said "No!" and left the call.
Predators LOVE to have power over their victims. They LOVE having info on their victims and former victims. It's like crack to them. It always has been. So IF Lily was a predator... Why is it that she's been avoiding her sister? Her supposed former victim...
My abuser used the fact that I was just a naive 7 year old against me all the time. That my mom would never believe me. And he was damn near right until he broke up with my mom in another one of their heated arguments and after a month of him being gone I spilt my guts and my mom kept asking me "Are you sure?" until she finally faced reality and realized that he was in fact a predator.
Can't wait to see how you'll ignore all of this shit and all of these questions in the next ask which I'm 99% sure is going to be you twisting yourself into knots to not answer them and bitch about whatever perceived slite you find in this.
Also before I forget I'm mature enough to see that Lily was obviously annoyed and saw plenty of people whining about her about anime and just took it out in that ask and thus I didn't take it personally. I don't have to take every insult someone gives me personally.
I didn't call her supposed victims predators. You just did though LOL. Way to out yourself there bud.
What I've been doing is pointing out that the shit being thrown at Lily is the EXACT same things that have been thrown and accused at LGBTQIA+ people for years, especially in the current Political Climate. Marjorie Taylor Green and JK Rowling have been throwing pedophilia and grooming allegations at the Trans Community for YEARS.
And what makes this shit all the more suspicious to me is that A LOT of Lily's haters dead name her and misgender her so often it's expected of them and when Lily's sister first came on scene, and this was pointed out by Essence of Thought herself, she misgendered and deadnamed Lily until she realized that Ethel was going to continue to correct her so she had to use Lily's name and gender.
It's no secret that the majority of Lily's haters are transphobes so it's not hard to expect that they'd use the very talking points transphobes have been throwing at the trans community for YEARS.
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offtorivendell · 4 months
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The possible significance of Azriel and Elain Archeron, the Embrace of Solas and Cthona, the paired blades Gwydion and Truth-Teller, and thin places; a theory
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Disclaimer: this is a theory that came to me while reading HOFAS, and as usual it makes absolutely no claim of being canon. It builds on past theories that my friends and I have written about Elain, Azriel, the revival of certain lands, the blades Truth-Teller and Gwydion, and brings in some new info from the latest CC book. It also won't be my best effort, as time is currently lacking. I meant to get this out for @elriel-month but yeah, that didn't happen lol. As usual, rambles and overly long sentences ahead. Sorry!
Thanks as always go out to @wingedblooms and @silverlinedeyes for listening to me rant, and believing me when I say I'll actually get around to writing out my thoughts, even though it takes me ages. I love that so many of our theories tie in well together - please check out their theories, too!
Spoilers: Maasverse spoilers ahead, please proceed with caution if you haven't finished reading.
Gwydion (aka the Starsword) and Truth-Teller; the Made blades
In CC 1 we got a brief description of the stylised version of the Embrace of Solas and Cthona as a necklace, worn by Bryce's mother, Ember:
Five minutes after Bryce got there, Jesiba’s client—a raging asshole of a leopard shifter who believed he was entitled to put his paws all over her ass—prowled in and purchased a small statue of Solas and Cthona, portrayed as a sun with male features burying his face in a pair of mountain-shaped breasts. The holy image was known simply as the Embrace. Her mother even wore its simplified symbol—a circle nestled atop two triangles—as a silver pendant. But Bryce had always found the Embrace cheesy and cliché in every incarnation. - CC HOEAB, chapter 22
Firstly, could this be the (hypothetical) wyrdmark on the left shoulder of the figure on the HOFAS cover? The two mountains are there, but the mark between them isn't exactly a circle, so it's not blatantly obvious, but it's possible (I'd love it if the marks on her arms represented the different gods, or Urd in all of her forms). Perhaps light and dark light cancel each other out in some way? And how relevant will the spiral mark be? Does it represent a vortex/portal opening? Or is it the Cauldron's swirling eddies?
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Secondly, I also think the two mountains/triangles and the circle/dot in between them look a little like a basic depiction of Gwydion/the Starsword and Truth-Teller (ie. the points of two blades) with a black dot/black hole/portal to nowhere. It's not exact, because the triangles aren't meeting at the tips, so I'm not super confident in it, but I don't think it's impossible, and it could tie back into the six pointed star, and three pairs of powers gathering in the space where they meet. I promise I'm not trying to claim every little thing for Elriel, and given Nesta has her own trio of Made blades, I suspect they could also be relevant here (if Narben is also found, then there would be six blades for the six siblings and six star points), but as Azriel and Elain were the first two to use Truth-Teller (in recent history), I think it's fair to consider their specific importance here.
Elain, Azriel and the Made blades
I've previously suggested that Elain may have powered Truth-Teller with her light, in order to pierce the fabric of the universe before shadow walking to save Nesta and Cassian in ACOWAR (here and here); this is a theory which is not unique to me, as quite a few of my friends think at least some version of it may be true. However, I believe that what we learnt in HOFAS about “thin places,” and the paired blades Gwydion (the Starsword) and Truth-Teller, could take this a step or three further.
To recap as briefly as possible, Elain previously used Truth-Teller to shadow walk in ACOWAR, and we have since had hints that she may use it again in the future. There are many questions left unanswered about Elain's successful use of what we now know is a Made blade, so we'll have to wait and see.
“You honestly think he’d ever give up Truth-Teller?” “He gave it to Elain,” Mor said, admiring a moonstone necklace in the counter’s glass case. “She gave it back,” I amended, failing to block out the image of the black blade piercing through the King of Hybern’s throat. But Elain had given it back—had pressed it into Azriel’s hands after the battle, just as he had pressed it into hers before. And then walked away without looking back. Mor hummed to herself. - ACOFAS, chapter 4
As a brief aside, there are also moments tying Elain to the shadows (whether or not it ends up being Azriel's shadows specifically, her own, or the Void in general remains to be seen), and I think we could find out that the middle Archeron sister, who is canonically observant and wise, may have learnt by watching.
Behind me, Mor took Nesta and Cassian by the hand, readying to winnow them to the camp, while shadows gathered around Azriel, Elain at his side, wide-eyed at the spymaster’s display. - ACOWAR, chapter 50
Does Elain hear Azriel's shadows singing, and can she and Azriel privately communicate this way?
Did she also hear his siphon singing beautifully in ACOWAR? Perhaps as kin?
The Truth-Teller scene in ACOWAR, below, was also important enough to be included in the ACOTAR Colouring Book.
She refused the knife Cassian handed her, though. Went white as death at the sight of it. Azriel, still limping, merely nudged aside Cassian and extended another option. “This is Truth-Teller,” he told her softly. “I won’t be using it today—so I want you to.” His wings had healed—though long, thin scars now raked down them. Still not strong enough, Madja had warned him, to fly today. The argument with Rhys this morning had been swift and brutal: Azriel insisted he could fly—fight with the legions, as they’d planned. Rhys refused. Cassian refused. Azriel threatened to slip into shadow and fight anyway. Rhys merely said that if he so much as tried, he’d chain Azriel to a tree. And Azriel … It was only when Mor had entered the tent and begged him—begged him with tears in her eyes—that he relented. Agreed to be eyes and ears and nothing else. And now, standing amongst the sighing meadow grasses in his Illyrian armor, all seven Siphons gleaming … Elain’s eyes widened at the obsidian-hilted blade in Azriel’s scarred hand. The runes on the dark scabbard. “It has never failed me once,” the shadowsinger said, the midday sun devoured by the dark blade. “Some people say it is magic and will always strike true.” He gently took her hand and pressed the hilt of the legendary blade into it. “It will serve you well.” “I—I don’t know how to use it—” “I’ll make sure you don’t have to,” I said, grass crunching as I stepped closer. Elain weighed my words … and slowly closed her fingers around the blade. Cassian gawked at Azriel, and I wondered how often Azriel had lent out that blade— Never, Rhys said from where he finished buckling on his own weapons against the side of the wagon. I have never once seen Azriel let another person touch that knife. Elain looked up at Azriel, their eyes meeting, his hand still lingering on the hilt of the blade. I saw the painting in my mind: the lovely fawn, blooming spring vibrant behind her. Standing before Death, shadows and terrors lurking over his shoulder. Light and dark, the space between their bodies a blend of the two. The only bridge of connection … that knife. Paint that when we get home. Busybody. - ACOWAR, chapter 69
Firstly, @silverlinedeyes has a post that details how similar this passage is to the six pointed star scene from HOSAB, and the potential significance of it with regards to magical balance and the gathering of power(s). It's outlandish, but I think it could be important for any travels to Hel or beyond that the IC may undertake.
Secondly, I find it really interesting that Elain said to Feyre she didn't know how to "use" Truth-Teller; what if she meant she didn't know how to use it magically? I suspect it's possible that Elain didn't open a portal to nowhere (which appears to require both of the paired blades - perhaps their singing wavelengths cancel each other out?), but rather she created a portal to somewhere, and that's how she shadow walked across the battlefield in ACOWAR (aka she "slipped into shadow" and fought anyway). However, as we all heard her say that she didn't know how to use Truth-Teller, but then did, she obviously figured at least some of it out.
Alternatively, as @wingedblooms, @mrspettyferr, @cassianfanclub and myself have all wondered, did she possibly have some help?!
Was it Azriel, who told us in his ACOSF bonus chapter that he didn't need his shadows to read Elain?
Perhaps is was Nuala or Cerridwen, or maybe even Rhys?
Was it Koschei, the Mother, or a prince of Hel who gave Elain a helping hand?
Even then, how did Elain (hypothetically, of course) activate Truth-Teller? Just like Ruhn found Gwydion and Bryce accessed its magic, so I suspect Azriel found Truth-Teller, but it was Elain who first truly used its power (whereas Nesta, who was at the time full of the Cauldron's death magic, appeared to use it as a simple blade, hastening the king's death after Elain struck a fatal blow). Was it because her light stood in for Gwydion’s own magic and charged it? Is that why Azriel - who I have long thought may have Starborn heritage hidden underneath his shadows - has dark light, or shadows, instead of light? Is Truth-Teller actually devouring his light? Or - less likely - could the obsidian (wyrdstone?) blade be possessed by a Valg, or similar being? Though I'm less certain about that last point, as I wouldn't be surprised if the king of Hybern was possessed by a Valg (or similar) type creature, maybe a Daglan, and if that was the case then why would Truth-Teller decide to behave for Elain, unless the Valg* and Asteri/Daglan are enemies… anyway!
*What we learnt in HOFAS, about the blackest salt/obsidian drawing in the princes of Hel (while simultaneously repelling the Asteri/Daglan) makes me wonder about their possible ties to the Valg from TOG, who used obsidian wyrdstone rings and collars as a way to possess host bodies.
I'm not sure. I've been thinking about this a lot lately, because I think Truth-Teller and Gwydion could be stand ins for Elain and Azriel (not necessarily in that order, though I do think a dagger suits Elain better than a sword does in terms of function); a bond needing to be reforged between them has always screamed “renewed shall be blade that was broken” to me (the Ballad of Strider), and the Truth-Teller scene could be suggesting that the grey - as in the blend of light and dark - could be a thin place between them. It would follow that this imagery, albeit very loosely, could be evoking The Embrace of Solas and Cthona, which Ember wears as a necklace, and that could possibly be a wyrdmark on the cover of HOFAS.
“Light and dark, the space between their bodies a blend of the two..." Just seems so relevant here.
Cthona and Solas represent dark and light.
Gwydion/the Starsword and Truth-Teller are (bright) light and dark light.
Azriel and Elain are dark and light... or perhaps light and dark?
Are Void and Chaos (the Mother?) involved?
Is the statue of the primal goddess that Nesta notices in ACOSF another hint here?
If being carranam ties into this, would it include Feysand and Nessian?
Light and dark have grey in between them, and the thin places are described as “gray.” Elain was even engaged to a man named "Graysen" for crying out loud; his family’s colour was even cobalt. I would be so surprised if all of this ends up meaning absolutely nothing in terms of her story.
How could Elain and Azriel stand in for Cthona and Solas when Elain is light and Azriel is darkness?
I could definitely be wrong, but instead of purely life, I (and @wingedblooms) prefer to think of Elain as rebirth, which inherently straddles the murky realm between life and death - the grey between light and dark (and grey) - and beautifully fits with her role as a gardener (relevant theories are here, here, here and here), the Book of Breathings rambling about "rot and bloom and bone," her position as the middle Archeron sister, her ability to blend quietly into the background, and definitely the grey of dawn and dusk. Azriel, though? The one Feyre described as the knife in the dark? Well, he has shadows that can brighten into sunlight, and I suspect that may have been what Elain was referring to in ACOWAR, when she said she needed sunshine.
So...
Azriel's shadows lightening into sunshine: Solas.
Elain and her many ties to the earth: Cthona.
I'm unsure if this is trying to tell us that Azriel will be the stand-in for Truth-Teller, because he is "dark light"/has shadowsinging abilities, while Elain is represented by Gwydion due to her prominent (so far) association with hope or brighter light, or whether it's the other way around, and we're actually being told that, while Elain appears to be light and warmth personified, in the future she will carry Truth-Teller, the blade that is her apparent opposite, as Azriel will wield Gwydion* (if they both end up having surprise powers, being able to swap between light and dark). It's all very murky, one might say a grey area. But I do think it likely that Elain and Azriel will each end up carrying either a blade that represents themself or their partner in some way.
* Yes, I know that Bryce gave Gwydion to Nesta, but she already has her own trio of Made blades. If I'm putting money on who will wield it, I think it will be Azriel, Elain or Feyre.
Thin places and Made blades
Before HOFAS was published @cassianfanclub and I had discussed the - we thought - insane possibility of the differently coloured mountain rock in Prythian being significant in terms of their possible salt content, and that it could be no coincidence that the black and grey rock of the Hewn City was in proximity to a known appearance of one “Lord Thanatos.”
Black salts were used for summoning demons directly—bypassing the Northern Rift entirely—or for various dark spellwork. A salt that went beyond black, a salt like the obsidian … It could summon something big. - CC HOEAB, chapter 18
Bryce stiffened at the moldy, rotten earth scent that crept from the bundle as he unfolded the fabric to reveal a handful of rust-colored salt. “What the fuck is that?” Ithan asked. “Bloodsalt,” Bryce breathed. Tharion looked to her in question, but she didn’t bother to explain more. Blood for life, blood for death—it was summoning salt infused with the blood from a laboring mother’s sex and blood from a dying male’s throat. The two great transitions of a soul in and out of this world. But to use it here … “You can’t mean to add that to their water,” Bryce said to the Astronomer. The old male hobbled back down the ramp. “Their tanks already contain white salts. The bloodsalt will merely pinpoint their search.” - CC HOSAB, chapter 38
Mor went right up to the obsidian dais, and I halted at the foot of the steps as she took up a place beside the throne and said to the crowd in a voice that was clear and cruel and cunning, “Your High Lord approaches. He is in a foul mood, so I suggest being on your best behavior—unless you wish to be the evening entertainment.” - ACOMAF, chapter 42
The mountain underneath the House of Wind - the one that houses the library in which I think a certain cat-like darkness could be a prince of Hel - contains both red stone and obsidian doors, with veins of silver running throughout (which reads like hope in the void, like the Velaris Weaver's tapestry, and I suspect may be important for Elain's journey, given she is frequently associated with hope).
Rhys stepped into a hall at the foot of the stairs, revealing a wide passageway of carved red stone and a sealed set of obsidian doors, veins of silver running throughout. Beautiful—terrifying. Like some great beast was kept behind them. - ACOWAR, chapter 20
If @silverlinedeyes, @wingedblooms, @ladynightcourt, @cassianfanclub, @psychologynerd and I are right that Clotho and some of her priestesses are involved in something massive, and have been contacting at least one of the princes of Hel, this would make sense! Black salt to summon something big, and red salt to pinpoint their search. And obsidian doors?!
We then learnt the following in CC HOFAS:
“The black salt, in such high quantity, keeps them away. They never realized that its presence drew us as much as it repelled them,” Apollion said with satisfaction. “It has the same properties that made us immune to the thrall of their black crowns.” - CC HOFAS, chapter
“The black salt only repels the Asteri; the mists repel everyone else. But certain people, with certain gifts, can access the power of thin places—on any world. World-walkers.” Aidas gestured gracefully to Bryce. “You are one of them. So were Helena and Theia. Their natural abilities lent themselves to moving through the mists.” - CC HOFAS, chapter
Elain is almost certainly a world walker - doe eyes searching across the world! - and Azriel may be one as well, but what if it is everyone who can winnow? Or just those like them, with a deeper affinity to the Void? And are they walking thin places themselves/as a partnership (remember the charged glance they shared last winter solstice), or do they just have a natural ability to make use of those which exist in the wild? Or is it some combination of the above?
Additionally, the obsidian hilts of Truth-Teller and Gwydion appear to be incredibly important here. In addition to the possibility that the Illyrian runes Truth-Teller carries on its scabbard may in reality be wyrdmarks, what if the obsidian hilts both summon the bearer in a way that allows them to access the void/murky realm and provides protection from any prying Asteri/Daglan eyes? Are the hilts made from wyrdstone? What about Koschei? Is Truth-Teller the reason his magic captured Cassian instead of Azriel in ACOSF?
There are so many possibilities beyond shipping, though given this is romantasy we know the relationships are more important to the story than your average romantic side plot, so we really can't separate the two while theorising. But either way, I'm so excited to see where this leads, and if we'll finally get detailed information about the gods in each or SJM's worlds, and how they may function throughout her extensive literary universe.
If you've made it this far, thank you for reading!
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Guys, I truly do not get byler doubt over things like this. Some leaker said “Mike and Will do not have a romantic relationship in Stranger Things 5.” Okay, let’s look at that, because I know the tag will go into a frenzy anyway.
This guy has been right about Marvel leaks in the past. He has also been wrong. The vibe I get is that a lot of leakers build up credibility by saying things which are correct or easily predictable, meaning they have more leeway in the future to make things up for clout and still have people believe them. The byler plot is very contentious and is guaranteed to get attention if you post anything about it, so I don’t really believe people who are being loud and open about it on twitter with broad, unspecific claims. A good example is the RejectedScooper guy, who had the Will’s love interest leak. He also made claims like “Will’s love interest is a boy” (duh), “the UD merged with Hawkins” (popular theory given that’s what the final s4 shot indicates), and “the military is still after El” (another popular theory). He makes believable claims that might end up being right, but that doesn’t mean he ever had inside knowledge. A lot of leakers are like this
The very phrasing of this is weird. Thanks @merth-or-nothin for pointing it out, but legit leakers will give information on what IS happening, not what isn’t, since they often lack context and filming isn’t even done, so there’s half a season missing. If byler truly wasn’t happening, they’d say “Mike and El are still together in episode 4,” or “Will meets a new boy.” They wouldn’t make a broad “this doesn’t happen” statement. They would provide a scene that DOES happen which leads them to that broader conclusion
I don’t have my own direct confirmation on this, but I’ve seen many people say that everything is extremely locked down this season, and that’s why it’s hard for people to get leaks. I think I even saw a screenshot where someone asked Noah on tik tok for a video on set and he said they’re being extra strict this season. There have been other claims, like cast and crew members getting redacted versions of the scripts that only contain their parts (standard practice in productions like this) people being instructed to leave the set as soon as their part is done, and the Duffers overall being very tight-lipped. Even Millie had to beg the writers to know what El’s ending is. The only people who know the ending of the byler plot are probably the main cast and writers, and high-up members of the production team. Their NDA’s must be so tight. I don’t see how some random leaker would have that info just because he had marvel leaks in the past. If I had info about a sensitive spoiler, I wouldn’t be yelling about it on twitter either. I’m not sure about how the legal process works here, but I feel like you’d get into some sort of strife.
I’ve seen byler-positive and byler-negative leaks. Chances are a lot of them are wrong. Maybe some are right. Who knows? They’re very contradictory, so I think the only conclusion I’m taking away from it is that people like the attention posting byler “spoilers” gets them, and no one has a straight story (no pun intended) regarding what is happening next season, so I’m likely to take most things as fake, especially broad claims like this one
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matan4il · 10 months
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Daily update post:
This morning, 15 minutes after the break in fighting was supposed to begin, Hamas fired two rocket barrages into southern Israel. This is what we mean when we say that Hamas has broken every ceasefire ever. The only reason why this didn't lead to the hostage deal falling apart, is because Israel chose to "contain" Hamas' violent rocket attack. But remember this when we explain why we can't accept Hamas' existence anymore.
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Israel confirmed that the 13 hostages being released have arrived in Egypt, and there are already Israelis there, taking care of them. IDK when we'll get their names, and images of them safe back in Israel, but as you can imagine, everyone here is holding its breath for that. Still, their well being comes first, they're being taken to a hospital first, to see their families, and only then (and based on whatever they prefer) will there be anything more public. There will not be interviews, however, 'coz something they say might risk the other groups of hostages meant to be released in the upcoming days.
Hamas is also releasing some of the Thai nationals they've kidnapped (I heard 12 of the 23 taken hostage), which are being let go of unconditionally. Before anyone tries to make out this shows Hamas is humane, I'll just point out that Hamas terrorists murdered at least 33 Thais on Oct 7.
Some of my fave commentators recently on what's going on here since Hamas' massacre aren't Jewish, or even Israeli. Here's a few of their tweets:
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Regarding the last one, I just wanna say that most Israelis will continue to trust most Arabs. That's just how we have always lived, despite the on going terror attacks. The day after Oct 7, I mentioned that I went to my hospital treatment. The guard there is an Arab guy. He carries a gun. I couldn't help but think about it. And then I did what I always do, I thanked him for his work (being a guard is difficult), and wished him a good day. He smiled big and wished me the same. He's lovely. What Hamas did on Oct 7 is not his fault. But the mistrust of survivors, and some of those who care about them, is also very human and understandable, as much as I'll continue to call on everyone not to generalize about Arabs, or any group.
Especially when some of Hamas' victims are themselves Arabs. Here's a young Israeli Muslim Bedouin woman, who has been speaking up on behalf of her friend, 17 years old Aisha al Ziadna, who was kidnapped by Hamas on Oct 7.
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A Sky News reporter was particularly shameful the other day. She tried to use Israel's willingness to release 3 convicted terrorist per just 1 innocent civilian hostage to vilify Israel. Here's the reply she got:
Just a reminder, once again, that when you listen to western media, which is supposed to be objective, these are often their info sources on this conflict:
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Speaking of lack of objectivity, an Israeli newspaper found out that the International Criminal Court has appointed a Danish lawyer to investigate the Israel-Hamas war, and it's a man (I'm not sure I'm transcribing his name from Hebrew correctly, but it should be something like Andreas Laursen) who has worked in the past for a Palestinian "human rights organization" which has been outlawed in 2021 for having ties to terrorist organizations, who was involved in 2018 in trying to make the case that Israel had committed war crimes, who has lived in the Palestinian city of Ramallah, and who is married to a Palestinian woman. This Israeli newspaper has contacted the ICC, asking why the person appointed to this investigation isn't someone who would at least appear to be unbiased. The answer was (I'm translating from the Hebrew article): "We maintain confidentiality about anything that pertains to specific subjects that are related to our employees. Every personal decision made by the head prosecutor fits the policy and relevant procedures that oversee the court's human resources matters."
Because there are still people denying the Hamas rapes:
instagram
I've spoken before about Liel, and how long it took to identify her body, but this tweet kind of broke me all over again.
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(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)
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nonsensical-pixels · 1 year
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MY WEDDING TRAUMA: A SURELY-SIMS x ICE-CREAMFORBREAKFAST COLLABORATION, CONVERTED TO THE SIMS 2 [download - 👰🏽🤵🏽]
are you tired of brides in white dresses and toddlers with perfect pink flower baskets? is cereal packet gameplay just not doing it for you anymore? maybe you'd like your weddings to put the 'strange' in strangetown? search no more, the ingredients for the strangest wedding in sim nation are finally here!
so, since i caught that one virus, i've been playing around a bit more with ts2 cc creation and finally had the time to work on converting a big set again. but then... what to convert? the answer came to me in the links section of a random lookbook... in a sort of fever dream. a set that captures the recent theme on my blog, families, and yet completely destroys it at the same time: my wedding trauma.
everything here is remarkably versatile. i mean, i know for a fact that people aren't just going to use that jumpsuit for a wedding, elvis needs more freedom than that! there are 9 cas items and 6 buy items for a total of 17 items in this set!
the original ts4 collaboration is complete perfection; it has just the sort of trashy, nonsensical vibes that the ts2 wedding department is sorely lacking. my conversion of this isn't perfect, i'm still learning how to do clothing and there are some minor issues mentioned below the cut, but overall i think that it came out pretty good and i hope it invokes some chaos in your game. 💥
credits go to @ice-creamforbreakfast for most of the cas part of this collaboration, and to @surely-sims for the buy mode part!
keep reading for more info, rambles, and preview pics!
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PART 1: BUY MODE (6 items by @surely-sims)
ITEMS INCLUDED ARE: 1 - Fancy Folding Chair - 1.7k polys 2 - Margarita Tower - 3.4k polys 3 - Pizza Party Banquet Table - 1.5k polys 4 - Tiki Mug - 1.7k polys 5 - Toasting Bucket - 2.3k polys 6 - Wedding Arch - 10.2k polys*
individual previews are also to be found in the download!
THINGS TO NOTE: - The wedding arch is quite high-poly compared to other objects (10k) but that is the max for the polycounts. - The collection file included in the 'Surely-Sims' folder should go in the Collections folder in Documents.
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PART 2: CAS (8 items by @ice-creamforbreakfast and 1 by @surely-sims)
ITEMS INCLUDED ARE: 1 - Brandi Dress (YF-AF) - 3.9k polys 2 - Elvis Glasses (TU-EU) - 1.7k polys 3 - Elvis Jumpsuit (YM-AM) - 4.9k polys 4 - Goopy Jacket (TM-AM) - 2.3k polys 5 - Jess Hair (YF-EF) - 5.4k polys 6 - Kelly-Marie Hair (TF-EF) - 9.4k polys 7 - Malborough Dress (YF-AF) - 7.1k polys 8 - Newport Headpiece (YF-AF) 9 - Trashleen's Cigarette Bouquet (YF-EF) note: the Jess Hair is not part of the original set but is included because the Newport Headpiece is meant to pair with it.
individual previews are also to be found in the download!
THINGS TO NOTE: - The clothing may have some bone assignment issues (especially with straps) & mild gaps. - The 'Goopy Jacket' has a mild discoloration around the neckline. - All hairs are in @skittlessims Skittles Hair System - The 'Elvis Jumpsuit' is paired with 4t2 SP01 Pointed Stud. Converted by me :) - The 'Malborough Dress' is paired with Ice-CreamForBreakfast's Jessica Shoes.
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PART 3: THANKS & RAMBLE
have one final pic of the quirky couple and their patchwork family (ex-wife and dog included) 💞
this set was such a rollercoaster to work on, but also so, so much fun! i hope you guys enjoy it as much as i do 🥺
for anyone who's wondering--yeah i'm back for now, requests are still closed, wips depend on whether im in the mood... but from now on releases should be less queued and have a more 'personal touch' 😏
i'll get around to posting the discord-exclusives i released while i was gone... eventually. there's a few that i'm keeping for myself x
anyway... happy simming, hope you enjoy these conversions, and have a lovely day simming! if you use these feel free to @ me, i wanna see the chaos and the cool stuff these are used in 🥰
love,
~ Ky (nonsensical-pixels)
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multi-fandomsfreak · 7 months
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Hey!! Can you do movie sonic x mobian fem reader (platonic) who is a fan of him and wants to show herself to the world and fight eggman but she is too scared people will hate her
Movie!Sonic Meeting Mobian!Reader Who Happens To Be A Fan
Hey there! Thanks for the ask!
Sorry for the late post. I’ve had a bunch of requests coming through and with me going to the hospital recently to see if my foot’s good (by the way it’s healing great just need to get used to walking again.) so I didn’t have the time to do it till now. Hope you like reading this because I definitely enjoyed writing this. ~Blaze/Dawn
Pronouns: She/Her
Warning: ⚠️Mentions of low self-esteem/anxiety⚠️
Requested: Yes/No
Characters: Sonic + Mentions Of Tom + Maddie + Tails + Knuckles + Eggman
Proofread: ❌
Credits: Icon by jennieismygirlfriend on Pinterest + Banner by scyprod on Pinterest
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- Sonic the hedgehog. A name that constantly rings through your mind constantly. You most likely discovered him around some point from the baseball scene to near the end just like how Tails did. You had heard about his antics on earth and to say you liked him was an understatement. Judging on the info you had discovered from the most recent event with him and eggman you became a massive fan of him. Can anyone blame you? He helped you be inspired in your own way. Even if you had some problems expressing yourself mostly due to fear of what people might think of you. You wanted to prove your worth but you just didn’t know how.
- You really wanted to meet him even dreaming of what he would be like if you were to talk to him. Would he take interest or not? You were contemplating on going to earth just to meet him in real life. Show him how he has helped you in a way without directly meeting you. But you let your insecurities get the better of you. Eventually you decided to risk and travel to earth, you didn’t know what you were going to do when you got there, you didn’t really have any other motive besides meeting your idol. With Eggman gone as far as you were aware of and no one else who wanted to carry out his plan you didn’t really have any reason to go and get yourself into any trouble but still for some reason you felt like you needed to go. It kind of took you a while to get used to being on earth as well trying not to get spotted by pretty much everyone. You never know what they’re reactions could be seeing you and honestly you didn’t want to find out so you created a hide-out like what sonic did in the first movie.
- Now for when Sonic met you for the first time. He managed to come across you and your hide-out on his solo adventure and to say he was surprised was an understatement. There was another mobian like him, he immediately went over to you and started asking you a bunch of questions catching you off guard before immediately recognising him as the idol you love. You were too busy internally fangirling about if this was a dream or not to answer his questions.
+ “Ma’am is everything alright there?” Sonic asked, managing to snap you out of your fangirl trance concerned about the lack of reaction coming from you “oh…yeah I am, you're sonic right like the actual sonic?” You asked in return wanting to confirm it even though you knew it was. Sonic gave you a confused look before slowly answering your question “yeah I am sonic, why do you ask?” You gave him a cheerful smile before bringing him into a hug, surprising him even more but still hugged you in return despite just meeting you. You then told him about how much of a fan you were of him, telling him how much you appreciated him to which he thanked you and joked about he never knew he had fans.
- Pretty much since then he wanted to introduce you to Tom and Maddie because why not, they were also starting to suspect something with him constantly going off to see you. At first you were nervous because based on how he described them you guessed they were humans and your nervousness was getting the best of you but sonic managed to convince you that they really didn’t mean any harm and you trusted him so you decided to go with him to meet the two of them. As soon as you met the two of them they were excited they’d pretty much had gotten used to seeing sonic so seeing you with him although surprised to see someone like sonic they openly welcomed you with open arms, they were just happy that sonic met someone else. Also Sonic may have been teased by Tom about you especially since you were a female but except for that they enjoyed meeting you.
- Sonic will be your number one defender. If anyone even dares to make you upset about something he isn’t going to sit there and let you take it, making you even more self conscious. He doesn’t like seeing his friends upset, it kind of makes him both angry and upset himself seeing you just take insults being thrown at you.
- He pretty much noticed a bit after meeting you that you're very self conscious about yourself. Although you seemed to be somewhat open, when it came to expressing yourself and your strengths he noticed how unwilling you were to do it. He didn’t really understand why at first because he thinks you're really cool. You must have some sort of strength if you were willing to leave your home planet just to visit him. But once he learns about your lack of confidence he honestly feels bad for you. He could tell by the way you talked to him that you do genuinely want to prove yourself to the world; you just let your feet get the best of you. So with the new information he learned about you he’s willing to do anything to help raise your confidence. He feels like he has to, what sort of idol would he be if he didn’t?
- He takes it a step at a time, although he was wanting to make sure that you gain your confidence he knows it will take some time. You two will often have one on one sessions basically letting you express your feelings (imagine that scene when sonic is acting like a therapist but it’s with you and not just him).
- Eventually when Eggman returns from Mushroom planet Sonic definitely wants you to join him alongside Tails. He knows this would be a big step for you but he sees this as an opportunity and wants you to join him. He promises to keep both you and Tails safe as long as you're with him. Although a bit nervous yourself you could see what his point was and you knew he wouldn’t let you get harmed. You wanted to prove yourself and put what you learned from him to use so without thinking you joined him. And to say that it felt oddly good to finally do what you wanted to was an understatement. Still you were nervous but that nervousness was overwritten by adrenaline and relief. Although you went through some things during the trip to get the chaos emerald it was worth it in the end. This is when you decided to permanently join Sonic’s group alongside your new friends Tails and eventually when he decided to join Knuckles.
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batmanisagatewaydrug · 5 months
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How do I talk to a fourth grader about sex Ed? Are there books or an online resource for parents you recommend?
hi there, thank you for asking!
the book that I use to teach OWL classes is Robie Harris' It's Perfectly Normal; I strongly recommend getting ahold of the revised & updated edition from 2021, which is more inclusive and queer-friendly, but even the older edition is a pretty good starting place.
it can be a great way to start the conversation if the fourth grader in question hasn't approached you with their own questions about sex and bodies, which can be daunting for a lot of kids, especially if that hasn't historically been the vibe when you interact! they may not know a lot at that point, but most kids have definitely absorbed that sex is something that they're not supposed to talk about.
if they're feeling up to having a chat beyond the basics (anatomy, reproduction 101, changes that come with puberty, squiggly crush feelings, consent and no means no, etc), that's awesome! I find most kids in the 4th-6th grade range already have a lot more information about sex than most people expect; they just have it jumbled up and out of order and lack the tools to make sense of it. ie, I've had students who know about periods but are under the impression that they come out of the butt, understand that a baby grows inside of a person but have no clue how it gets out, and make jokes about someone getting ejaculated on because they know it's Inappropriate and therefore funny but don't actually have any idea what ejaculation actually is or why it happens.
so, you know. much to work on there!
honestly I think the #1 most important thing for any adult trying to be a good ally and educator to young people is to kill the urge to cringe literally ever at all about anything, because the second you make a kid feel weird for asking a question is the second they start hesitating to confide in you with their questions. I've had to poker face kids asking me why someone would ever put someone else's penis in their mouth, what a harem is, and kids very earnestly describing their first wet dreams without having any idea that they were describing wet dreams. there cannot be any "no," it's "yes, and" from here on it. "yes that sounds weird to you, and it's completely fine to do that with people you trust if and when you feel ready to have sex" has got to be the constant refrain. be as rigorously open-minded and non-judgmental as possible establishes that you are a safe person to talk to honestly, and encourages your kiddo to be similarly curious and accepting.
if you ever find yourself really flustered by a question, or you genuinely don't have an answer, it's okay to pull a "I don't know! let me find out more information and get back to you." (also great behavior to model for kids, btw.) if you're ever stumped trying to figure out how to break something down into 4th grader-sized chunks, I recommend Scarleteen as a starting place - it's a sex ed forum run by volunteers for teens, some of them pretty young, so the answers are written very accessibly.
easing into the topic by discussing things like feelings and puberty can be a great way to ease in. have they talked about puberty at school? are their friends having any bodily changes? how do people talk about bodies? do kids get made fun of for developing breasts or growing body hair? does anyone at school date? how does the kid you're talking with feel about all of that? I might just be blessed with unusually gossipy kids, but they LOVE dishing about how other kids act. I learn so so much about my students by asking them to tell me how their peers behave at school; they love to narc.
also: it can be a huge bummer if YOU were really ready to rumble being sex positive and a source of info, but sometimes kids just aren't ready to engage with that. I've know 4th graders who are extremely at eases talking about the ins and outs of vaginal anatomy and 6th graders who would rather run away than even acknowledge genitals exist; there's no predicting when anyone will be comfortable with this. to a certain degree you might need to encourage a kid through initial awkwardness, but if they're reaching a point of serious distress and discomfort we've got to let it go. unfortunately I've taught kids who reacted to their parents' enthusiasm for sex positivity by wilting in exactly the opposite direction, getting anxious and confrontational whenever the topic came up. the majority of kids will become curious in their own time, especially as puberty and sexuality becomes more pressing to them and their peers, and sometimes the best thing you can do is leave that door open for them to return to in their own time.
also, hey! if you're ever really really stuck, I'm here on tumblr dot com :) I'm by now means an expert, but I've taught a LOT of fourth graders what a condom is.
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