#and tell their kids stories about their respective missing parents and have very fairy tale wait for true love vibes

[jessicas-pi]

After several polls of coming in second or third or fourth or whateverth place, Bo-Katan's Obitine Flashbacks finally won!

Bo-Katan doesn’t know specifics, but she does know it hasn’t been more than a month.

She lowers her voice. “I’m sorry for your loss, Wren. I know you and the Jedi were… close…”

And Sabine Wren drops her face into her arms, bursting into tears and then apologizing through her hysterical sobs, which tells Bo-Katan exactly how close they were.

Bo-Katan is hit with a feeling of deja vu, like she’s done this before.

Wait.

No.

She has.

Ha ha. Fun.

This is just exactly what she needed right now, another woman brokenhearted over a Jedi.

And she thought the time with her sister had been awkward.

Wren is still rambling, half-incoherently as she rubs her eyes and tries to pull herself together, a mix of excuses and explanations and aching, soul-deep pain.

She says enough to give Bo-Katan another realization.

Unless Bo has entirely misheard—not only did Wren have feelings for the Jedi boy—not only did the Jedi boy have feelings for Wren in return—not only did they confess to each other—they also said the vows, which is, Bo is pretty sure, farther than Satine ever got with her Jedi, and then the thought of Satine and Kenobi gives Bo-Katan the most horrifying notion yet.

“Oh, my gods, are you pregnant?”

Sabine sits up, eyes huge, mouth hanging open in speechless bewilderment.

“Am I… no!”

Her answer is entirely sincere, and Bo-Katan slumps in relief.

Manda be praised. We don’t need more Korkies.

[shyrose57]

Shadow over snowchester au!

I’d like to imagine that Tommy and Purple tell the girl’s fairytales and other story’s right before going to sleep for the night, Clementine alway’s fall a sleep first while Clara stay’s awake till the end to ask questions about the stories like, ‘why did the queen poison Snow White?’ Or ‘why did Snow White eat something a stranger gave her! Didn’t any one tell her how dangerous that is!’.

Tommy alway’s checks on his daughters while at night because A: neither of them can hear or see him coming, so he always catches them awake past bed time, and B: he’s a bit paranoid something might come and take his little girl’s ;-;

Because no one know’s Clara’s birth day they just asume she’s a year younger then Clementine, which she’s okay with!

Clementine get’s jealous easily, even with Michael if he spends enough time with either of her dad’s, so she was pretty upset and moody when Clara showed up and suddenly Clara got everyone’s attention, including daddy and papa! Thus she end’s up running away only to be found by techno and Phil, who both end up bonding with her especially techno because he’s like ‘been there done that’ and return her to her father’s who were worried sick.

Thing’s turn out better in the end with Clara and Clementine bickering constantly, just like Tommy and Wilbur.

Clara enjoy’s the garden/greenhouse and even convinced her Papa (Tommy) to put some sort of play area for the kid’s considering how much of their time is spent in the garden, the area has a marble path and is completely filled with the friendliest of all the flower’s on the garden, any harmful ones are completely forbidden, the area has a huge marble gazebo with no-throned rose’s and vines, it has tables, book’s, Paper, pencil’s, even a chalkboard, fridge, and maps! It becomes more of a kindergarten/ school for the kid’s but overall a hangout place for tea and date’s. ( who work’s / teaches is up to you!)

Tubbo take’s Michael around snowchester as a way to get him to exercise yet they almost alway’s find themselves at the garden hanging out with Tommy, Clementine, and Clara. Clementine and Michael are running around playing l’manburg, and other game’s, while Clara is all cozy and snuggly on Tommy's lap as he tends to a bunch of blue flower’ (courtesy of ghost ur) and Tubbo complains about Michael growing too fast and how it’s not fair Tommy has two children, not to mention fawning over Clara’s adorable way’s.

Clementine and Michael call themselves the together duo, though other’s joke about them being clingy duo the second, especially after they started three repetitive fire’s, pranked almost everyone, and overall created absolute chaos, no one thinks Clementine or Michael had a part in them, instead, this feeds into Tubbo being some sort of god theory.

Ponk, Punz, Quackity, Techno, and Wilbur all have competition on who can spoil their nieces the most. (it never ends well ;-;)

Fairy tales are a very important part of growth! 

Clem and Clara are like day and night, so while Clementine’s always very energetic and bright in the day, Clara’s a night owl-they thought she might be nocturnal for awhile there. So the former’s usually out like a light pretty quick, but Clara takes longer to ease to sleep. 

Tommy’s fear is valid. Seriously, his past history with caring for things hasn’t ended well, with so many fights and grudges. He completely abuses his phantom powers to do this-both because he enjoys sneaking up on them, and because if they’re actually asleep, he doesn’t want to wake them-Clem’s a light sleeper. 

Clara is very mature for her age, and quiet, but the baby fat on her cheeks betrays her true youth, and Puffy’s adopted enough kids to be able to tell their ages easily enough, so they reckon she’s got to be at least a year younger. Maybe more, but who knows? 

Clementine’s an independent child, so I imagine originally, she doesn’t mind Clara that much. Everyone tends to hover over the kids, because it’s dangerous, and they worry, which is perfectly valid, but she’s a free spirit, and she’s never liked being stifled.

Then Clara starts taking more of their time, and they stop being with her so much, and it’s not as great as Clem thought it would be. So she decides to go on an adventure, all by herself, because she doesn’t need her dads to worry over her anymore-in fact, she’ll bring back something cool, just to prove it. 

Of course, Clem gets a bit in over her head. Luckily, Techno and Phil are nearby, realize ‘isn’t that Tommy’s kid?’ and help her out. Techno, much to his dismay, is left alone with the small child while Phil goes to get one of her parents.

It’s not so bad though, once past the initial awkwardness. The kid reminds him of Phil and Tommy, with that adventurous spirit. And she’s got a surprising enjoyment of fighting(cause Purpled and Tommy teach it to her as a bonding activity, and Purpled and Ranboo spar to impress Tommy and Tubbo, and Tommy and Tubbo train together. Just, positive associations with it), which he can get behind.

So Phil comes back with Clem’s worried parents, and Clem has a new sword. Techno insist she took it. But, he has too many anyway, and they’re cluttering up the area, so she can keep it, he guesses.

Tommy, who’s gotten many of his own childhood weapons from that very sentence, just raises an eyebrow. 

After that whole thing, and thinking back to some of Uncle Techno’s stories about his own sibling, Clementine decides she’ll be a good older sibling, and protect Clara like Uncle Tech did Uncle Wilby, and everyone in Snowchester protects each other.

Clara takes it it stride, and Clem makes her act a bit more her age, which is nice for everyone to see. 

The garden is a good place for the kids to hang out, because even the most dangerous of plants know better than to touch any of the kids. But them having their own little area in there away from it all definitely makes the parents feel better. 

Tommy tends to be the go-to house-parent a lot, with Purpled out doing jobs, Ranboo being the voice of reason in the Syndicate, and mining, and Tubbo doing his job as leader of Snowchester. When he wants to go and help Purpled out or otherwise, Tubbo and Ranboo will watch the kids. If not them, then Puffy, or somebody else. The kids usually end up outside drinking cocoa with whoever’s watching them while waiting for their parents to finish up. It’s nice.

Tubbo and Ghostbur coo over Clara a lot. She’s adorable, they can’t help it. But they’re also very helpful. Clara seems pretty happy to hang out with Tubbo when one of her dads can’t watch her, and Ghostbur has experience with taking care of young kids, so that’s really useful. 

Tubbo constantly complains that Michael’s gonna be the one carrying him around eventually, and he dreads the day(he doesn’t, he’s very proud of his son, but he misses being able to tot him around and having to help him reach the counter). 

The Together Duo! Very cute. The first time they proclaim themselves as such, everyone’s hearts just completely melt. Ranboo snapped a picture of Tommy and Tubbo holding their respective kids, and titled it ‘Second generation’s duo’, and it hangs on the wall in both their homes. 

Michael and Clem are a very chaotic duo. How did this end up getting blamed on Tubbo? Who knows, honestly. At this point, somebody could probably say Tubbo invented sheep, and nobody would blink. 

All the kids are very, very spoiled. To the point where their parents have limited the amount of spoiling that can be done-and no, they won’t change it, the last time they let you guys go wild, you nearly crushed poor Tubbo under a gift avalanche! 

An avalanche!

[thewriterowl]

some headcanon about Luke childhood and adolescence on Tatooine?

Oh sure thing! Now, I’d definitely use a lot of what is talked about already.

Luke was sort of exiled from most people, especially any of those who are close to his age. 

Now, Tatooine is a hella lonely planet. I recently reblogged an amazing chart that has so many planets, their systems/rims, stats, etc. and it provides so much info. Like how it is estimated only around 200,000 people live on all of Tatooine. The clumps of population are sort of spread out and hopping from one town to the next is not just something you can just get up and do. So Luke has almost no opportunity to even find friends.

I pictures that Biggs actually didn’t like Luke at first when they were kids. That he followed the group and that his family maybe urged for him to stay away from that boy, something just wasn’t quite right to him. The Lars were a rather respectable sort but they were still...odd. His father Cliegg was a pretty good man who saved and married Shmi Skywalker after his wife died, and Shmi was a good soul too...but there were so many rumors about her and her son who she claimed did not have a father. The son that won a race, threw a lot into chaos, and disappeared with cloaked figures. Lars claims this boy is the son of the missing child of Shmi, who had died when all that dramatics happened in the Core Worlds.

It was just...odd. And Luke was odd. Yes, there have been kids born with blond-ish hair and blue eyes before...but the colors were always darker. Their eyes would be such dark blue that they probably could look brown in some light and usually when they reach the teenage years the hair was already starting to darken. It was just a sort of normal thing on the planet. Pretty much everyone grew up too. Even the most measly of slaves had to have girth and strength on them to be of any use on this planet.

Luke just was always slightly off. His hair remained this pretty gold, his eyes were such a strange hue of blue, his face never took on a tough or quite masculine appearance, and he was just small. He was lanky and awkward and just never jumped in height like most kids. He was pathetically weak looking which is enough for most to keep their distances because if you’re around someone weak you could get drug down too.

Then there was those weird things that happen around him. Creatures that normally stayed hidden in the depths of the Tatooine desert and never inched close to towns would be found skulking and whimpering around the Lars’ property, always clawing at the wall that surrounded Luke’s room. The kid always knew where to search for a new well. He could sense when a seller is not being quite honest. He picked up blaster shooting quicker than any other child and could always find his target.  He knew how to use a speeder masterfully when he was ten. Beru’s plants sprouted with Luke nearby and gave them vegetables even during the drier months. He could predict things. And, as a child, when he had his rare tantrums things seemed to move. Then there was the fact that mysterious old Ben could be seen, only just, in the background, watching over the kid.

So, yeah, Luke was not seen as a welcomed sort.

But he was so stubborn and so eager for attention and to make friends that Biggs had a hard time fighting him off. The kid just managed to always find him so he just sorta gave up. He wasn’t about to bash a kid built like a twig’s nose in. That wasn’t exactly honorable. And well...Luke is actually pretty fun. He was always excited to go on adventures. He said yes to most anything. He was up for any dare. No matter what happened, he would always smile about it, just happy to be included. Biggs found he had far more fun with this kid than most anyone else so he just took him under his wing. Biggs was probably one of the more popular guys growing up so a lot of people left Luke alone after that, just primarily ignoring him or a cruel name tossed his way and or there.

Luke got kidnapped at least once in “cannon” but I believe that the Hutts would’ve tried to get him for the slave market. Maybe he wouldn’t sell for too much on Tatooine but he was clearly growing up into something pretty and different and that could be a lot of credits for them. Obi-Wan put a stop to it the moment he realized Luke had their attention and no one looked for Luke after that.

He tried to run away once, because he just felt so drained and empty on Tatooine, but Owen found him and dragged him back and scolded him so bad that Luke’s early stages of guilt-complex really ignited. He didn’t mention leaving for a little while after that. But he clearly was desperate to leave.

Luke had a lot of weird dreams. Sometimes even when he was awake. He could see and hear things that were there but...not. Sometimes it was foggy and blurry but he could make out a tall man who blinked from human to a black mass, breathing like a monster. Sometimes it was a man with white robes and long hair and a beard who would smile at him and give him a pat on his head, his expression calm and knowing but always gentle and comfortable. Sometimes the man would blur and Luke could see a hole in his stomach. Sometimes he would see a tall woman who glowed and had glowing green hair who would hold him close, calling him the Light’s child. Other times there was this odd pull to...someone...his mirror. Not his reflection but...yet she, as he knew it was a she, was. This other part of him. And sometimes he swore she felt him right back. He could sometimes hear a little thrum, it sounded like someone like him, but maybe younger...or maybe older, asking for the dark to please leave. He could hear another boy, someone Luke was connected to in some way, full of so much anger and kindness as he donned himself in armor. And sometimes he saw a pale monster, cackling in the shadows, with glowing yellowed eyes and who felt like decay.

Most times, he just never felt quite alone. Like there was something, or multiple somethings, always there. This pull, this connection, to everything. When he focused on it too much it made him very tired so he didn’t do it too often.

He didn’t talk about these things to his family either. 

Luke asked about his parents a lot but his aunt and uncle always refused to tell him much. They claimed to only have a little information on his father and knew nothing of his mother. He never gave up, trying to get as many stories from them as possible but it was always the same four to five stories each time.

Luke felt, or at least believed he felt, that his parents did love him and didn’t abandon him. They just died, which was sad but quite normal on Tatooine. He still wished he could see their faces and hear their voices. He usually just called them Mother and Father in his head, as a slight way to detach himself from the pain, cause Luke would be the sort who would call them mommy and daddy when he was young and then mom and dad when he was older. Mother and Father was just this...title he had for two strangers he wished he knew.

Luke still loved them very much and liked to pretend they would show up on the doorstep one day and pull him into a hug, holding him tight, and promising to never leave him again. That they would all stay together.

Luke thrived off of fairy-tale like stories and could never get enough speed in his life. Politics were never something he understood. He had plans on joining the Imperial Academy the moment he was able to become a pilot and travel across the galaxy. He could probably earn credits and get his own place and maybe take care of his aunt and uncle. He often wondered if he could be a hero.

He caused mischief but mostly on accident. He did not need much to keep him occupied and Owen realized he was very good with building, taking care of, and communicating with droids than most.

When he was seventeen to eighteen, folks who were a lot older or a very unsavory would approach Owen to try and get a deal to marry Luke.  He was still small and lanky, but people were beginning to notice he was prettier than some girls. Even some from the Hutt’s circle came in with offers to marry Luke into their protection--he could even live at the palace. Owen always rejected every proposal and kept Luke even closer to home after that, rarely letting him leave unless he was with Biggs. After Biggs left, it was always a battle to let Luke leave the farm. It made Luke smothered and a bit exhausted and whiny. He was nearing twenty and he was still treated like this delicate child.

Luke did have a massive crush on Biggs but never acted on it. Other than that he was far more interested in other things. 

He was good in picking up most languages by ear, he seemed to know Binary from the start, but he could never do well with speaking. it always sounded awkward to him. Beru taught him to read and write and she found if Luke only had a few texts, after a few lessons he would start to pick things up. Before he leaves, he is fluent in understanding Basic, Binary, Huttese, Jawaese, and Tusken sign. He can’t speak a lick of anything outside of Basic. 

Luke was always very kind and apologetic to whoever he met. He always felt he was something wrong and broken and would try to not bother anyone if he could. If something happened he was quick to blame himself (picked up from a lot of his interaction with the people of Tatooine and, unintentionally, from his aunt and uncle who did appear fearful of him at times). He puts other people first and has a hard time seeing other having faults but rather he is so broken that he makes them have faults.

He loves sweets but for savory, his was a big fan of things like rice and bread (I swear, in a Modern AU Luke would almost live off of Japanese rice and would be someone who could actually cook it (cause i can’t and it breaks my heart) and could just eat it as is or he just has it as the foundation for every meal) with some vegetables. He did not grow up with seasoning so he has no idea how to really use it...but would grow to enjoy it after some time.

Luke loves anything dog-like. He probably won over some Tusken’s because their dogs adored Luke.

Luke is amazing at engineering...but ask him what 6+6 is and he’ll probably go blank. Don’t make the poor boy think. He runs on instinct and can easily short-circuit his brain if he tries to think about what he is doing (cause often he shouldn’t really know it as he wasn’t taught it, he just somehow knows what to do)

Just cause of how Tatooine is...it is possible Luke has rarely been hugged and potentially rarely told he was loved.

[nishymoon]

Kombat Kast - "With their kids"

I've been here on Tumblr for a year and I've only ever written things about Kabal and Fujin...so I thought it's time to take a step forward and try to write about other characters too. I would also like to add that @spacehologramcollection​ is an inspiration to me, I admire and respect this blog so much. I took courage today and thought of writing, I also decided to accept requests, so let’s go! I hope you like it!

❥ Kabal - He loves them and will love them forever, they are his whole universe! Kabal would do anything together with his kids, he is a very playful father! He loves cycling with them, the fresh air is good for kids and you must always take advantage of the beautiful days! He also likes to be at home, of course, he pretends to have tea with them, he loves to see their smiles when he pretends to ask for more sugar cube or talks to their stuffed animals! Having said that, he reads the fairy tale every night, he likes to hear his kids around him, hugging him hard to fall asleep on him, making him feel good.

❥ Fujin - There is nothing more precious in the world of his kids, he loved them from the first moment he discovered their existence. He often cuddles his little ones, his heart fills when they reciprocate those caresses. And if they had his powers?? that cool! battle of kites! the first one that makes it fly higher, wins! Unlike Raiden, he loves to have fun and also wants his kids have fun too...but in moderation, he worries and does not want them to be in danger!

❥ Sindel (TheRealSindel) - She is a very sweet and protective mother, loves kids so much, loves to carry them around and have a picnic with them, teach them to ride a bicycle, does not want to miss a single second of them. She fills them with kisses and cuddles, she loves to take them in her arms and caress their heads and cheeks She always worry about them, is it too hot? remember to drink lots of water! It's cold? cover yourself well! Imagine only when she becomes Grandma.

❥ Takeda Takahashi - THEY. ARE. ALL. Despite being frightened at first, be a father is the most beautiful experience for him. He is super present for his kids and enjoys spending time with them. He climbs on the swing with them making verses just to see them laugh, fills them with cuddles in the evening before going to sleep. He is also happy when Kenshi calls him to find out how they are and if he can come to their house one of these days, he is a very proud grandfather of his son and grandchildren.

❥ Kitana - She loves so mich her babys, ever since she felt them kick in her belly. She likes walking, drawing with them, teaching them to read, to write. They are all that she has always dreamed of, every time they look at her and they hold her hand, she knows that everything is ok. She always wants to sleep nestled with them together with Liu Kang, she wants them to feel protected. Their parents will always be there to protect them.

❥ Kurtis Stryker - He is a very understanding father, he likes when his kids chase him and pretend to be policemen like him, he stretches out and lets himself be pampered. "We got you daddy, now you can't run away anymore!" "Oh I know! You both were good!" The best part is when he wakes up in the morning and enters in their room to kiss them on the head before going to work, they are his lucky charms!

❥ Liu Kang - Like Kitana, his children are everything he has always dreamed of. He wants to teach them everything he knows, he would like to meditate with them even if they are now too young to understand it. He enjoys the days with them as he talks about how he defeated Kronika and how he asked their mom to marry him. They are always happy to hear their father, he has a lot of adventure stories to tell!

❥ Cassie Cage - She loves buying a thousand clothes for her babys and filling them with Selfies. She has at least 1000 selfie photos with her kids while they are at the sea, in the mountains, at a picnic, at home watching TV. She smiles when she sees that her children imitate her by pretending to take selfies with a plastic cell phone. They are so cute. 

❥ Kung Jin - They are his whole world. He want his children to miss nothing. He doesn’t want them to suffer as he did, he will teach him everything but he will also be very playful with them. He will always keep them in his arms, he will always kiss them, he will cuddle them, he wants to give all the love he has to his babys. The best part of the day is when they lie on the couch watching cartoons in the evening. At that moment he has no thoughts.

❥ Jade - She's a party mom! She loves to party at her home with her children's friends, she prepares many good things to eat, she likes to see her little ones have fun so much! She love costume parties, oh god, she could sew a thousand clothes, her kids want to dress up as witches? werewolves? vampires? Everything they want, she is ready.

❥ Erron Black - He never imagined that he would become a dad but here he is, despite having been very surprised the first time ... he didn't mind the idea. He knows exactly how he doesn't have to compute himself, he doesn't want to do what his parents did to him. He is a little awkward when his kids ask him to take tea or similar but ... they look at him with so much love that he could cry. He loves them with all of himself.

❥ Nightwolf - He immerses his children in the nature, he wants to teach them to speak also on a spiritual level, he wants a connection with them on a deep level. When he sees them playing with Hana, Kiba and Komo, his heart screams. They are so beautiful and they look so much like him, he is happy to see that with joy they want to learn more about the great spirit and would like to be like him a day.

❥ Nitara - She is very proud of the children she is raising. She likes to be outdoors with them and take them to the sea or a river, she holds them by the hand and flies making sure that their feet touch the water, it's like surfing but without the board! Sometimes he picks them up in her arms and flies high, they can see the landscape from up here! Having a mom with wings has its advantages! they too will fly like her when they grow up!

❥ Kuai Liang - Despite appearance, he is a very sweet father, he loves to see how his children chuckle while he prepares popsicles and ice cream for them. They always ask him to play skipping rope, he really tries, but he always fails and falls on the ground. At least he heard his little ones laughing, there is no better thing for him. He'll have to learn to jump that damn rope and he will. For them this and more.

❥ Hanzo Hasashi - His kids are a new beginning, a new opportunity to be happy, a happiness that he has always deserved. He loves them, he loves them more than himself, they are everything, they have everything. They have him as a person, they have his heart. He spends a lot of time with them, he wants to see them grow, he wants to love them, he wants to pamper them. He loves to hold them in his arms and feel them close, he feels complete. Finally complete.    

❥ Mavado - He is a very silent man and isn’t very cuddle man but he loves his kids and he likes to see them sleeping on his chest, he would do everything for them. They are his family. He knows that in the future they will have the same determination and strength. He will teach him how to fight when they are older, for now it is enough for him to see their admiring glances as they watch him read one of his book that he keeps in the bookstore of their home. Let's say he is affectionate in his own way.

[wastelandcrown]

all’s fair in fake love and gore

CHAPTER 1: (un)predictability

Summary: Roman and Patton have been dating for a while, and it’s fine. Remus doesn’t care. Unfortunately, it’s another excuse for his family to put Roman on a pedestal. Except that, through a turn of events nobody expected, Remus ends up pretending to be madly in love with his close friend Logan for his family’s holiday trip. Both parties are convinced nothing will happen between them. Roman and Patton, however, are terrible meddlers who believe in the power of love.

Warnings: Potential ooc behavior, Lightly tense family dynamics, Remus being Remus, OCs for family members (If I miss something please tell me!)

Notes: Listen-I hate the holidays but I live for this trope. I’ll try my hardest to do it justice and make it work. Name was suggested to me by the lovely @grayskiesrainyskies, thank you ma’am!!

Pairings: Intrulogical, Royality, Creativitwins

Two hours. It’s just two more hours. He’s reasoning with himself against all odds, but the urge to slam his head against the dining table is palpable and he’s barely holding it together. Remus had always hated family dinners, he hadn’t even bothered going up until recently. Adulthood was messy. Family was messier. More accurately, Remus was the mess of the family. Roman and him had long since mended their relationship, they even hung around in the same circle! That only made it worse when Roman and their mutual friend Patton started dating. It’s not that he wasn’t happy for them, he was. Their fluffy, happy, fairy-tale romance was something out of some god damned Disney movie, and Remus was so happy someone put up with Roman’s hopeless romanticism. Except now, because the family loves Patton.

He’s spent the entire night being as family friendly as he possibly could. It was a tiring effort to be dressed up like a “normal person”, without any makeup or accessories, and placating the old fleabags that he happened to be related to. Even then, he got the typical onslaught of negative attention. He didn’t even care. He didn’t, he really really didn’t. What made the dinner so wildly unbearable was Patton’s existence. He got along with everyone in the family, helped out with cooking, set the table, watched the kids, and was entirely sweet and rated-G. The family doted on him. Remus and Roman’s parents told Roman that Patton was “the one”. Both pairs of grandparents called him a “sweet young man” who was “the perfect homemaker for Roman”. Ugh. Perfect Roman, perfect Patton, and their perfect romance. 

Dinner came, and now the family can’t seem to stop asking them happy little questions. The kids table even came over with the occasional curiosity about Patton and Roman. Remus could tell Roman’s calm and polite demeanor was shattering around question thirty. Even Patton was tired at question fifty. Then Aunt Patty had to open her stupid mouth.

“Well Patton,” She says with a wide smile, “You really are such a great young man! It’s quite the blessing that you’re with Roman.”

There it is. That’s what Remus has been waiting for all night. 

“Aunt Patty, please,” Roman mutters, putting his head in his hands.

“Uhm, I’m not really sure what you mean!” Patton laughs nervously, genuinely confused about what she means. 

The table laughs, and Aunt Patty continues, “Oh, well, I just mean that you chose the right twin!”

Roman succumbs to the urge and lets his head slide onto the table, his hands are behind his head and squeezing at his neck. Patton stares at Aunt Patty like she’s gone mad. Remus slips his butter knife off the table and stabs the back of his hand with it. It hurts, but skin doesn’t break. Most of the table laughs. His parents, his grandparents, his aunts and uncles, his adult cousins. They all laugh at the prospect of someone so nice dating someone like Remus. He stabs his hand again, harder this time.

His mother pipes up next, and Patton looks as if he’s going to lose his mind, “It’s a blessing really! If Remus brought someone home they’d probably be crazier than he is!”

“We really are lucky he doesn’t keep partners around for long!” Says his grandfather, and the table laughs again. Remus stabs his hand again.

He can see the gears of Patton's brain working as Roman sits up, “Guys,”

There’s something dangerous behind Patton’s eyes, “Can we please,”

Patton smiles in a way that makes Remus panicky, “Just leave Remus alone?”

He’s got a devious plan, and Remus can tell by the way he places a soft hand on Roman’s shoulder.

He brightly says, “See, Remus, this is why I told you you should have brought him!”, while making the most innocently intense eye-contact Remus has ever had. 

Patton has been spending way too much time with Janus. 

Everyone goes silent. Even the kids, which is a miracle. Remus stabs himself in the hand for the fourth time, the skin breaks. His blood gets onto the sleeve of the white button-up Roman lent him. 

“Remus,” His father speaks very softly, “Do you have a partner?”

Patton smiles at him again, he thinks it over once or twice, “Yeah, what about it?”

“Why didn’t you bring them?” His mother asks with excitement clear in her voice.

Remus scowls, and everyone knows why, “You literally just fu-freaking laughed about his mere existence.”

One of his uncles clears his throat and breaks the silence, “H-How long have you been with them?” 

“Six months.” Remus lies, he hopes the three of them can act well enough to pull it off.

That amount of time is five months longer than any of his previous flings, and his parents erupt into dramatic cries, “You haven’t told us after half a year!”

“I told Roman and Patton!” He yells back, turning back to his food and shoving some in his mouth to angrily chew.

“Roman! Patton! Who is it? Do we know him? Is it serious?” His father has stood up and has leaned over the table to interrogate the pair. 

“Do-” Roman starts, and Remus knows he’s doomed, “Do you remember my friend, Logan?” 

Remus kicks Roman under the table. As hard as he possibly can. His father stops moving, his mother drops her fork. 

“You’re lying.”

“He’s not!” Patton chirps, “None of us expected it either but they’re very cute together!”

“Is Logan that stuck-up boy from their high school graduation who kept talking about following the proper protocol?” His grandma asks with a surprisingly shocked expression.

“That’s the one!” Roman points as he speaks, then the entire family has their eyes on Remus again. 

“What? Are you looking for some explanation or something? He’s smart and he’s hot and he respects my choices,” Remus scoffs out, getting out of his chair and taking his plate to the kitchen, “I’m not talking about this anymore.” 

Patton and Roman follow him into the kitchen with their plates. As he scrapes his plate into the trash, he gives Patton the most intense glare. 

“Remus, I’m so sorry-” Patton pauses, and snatches him by the hand, “Did you stab yourself!?”

The next two hours, nobody brings anything up. It’s a breath of fresh air to have them shocked into respecting his damn privacy. Family leave or head to bed. The only people left awake when the trio are leaving are the twins' parents.

“What do you want, dad?” Remus asks when his father approaches.

His father gives a smile that he assumes was supposed to be warm, and opens his mouth to speak.

“Dad, Remus and I should really be going,” Roman cuts in, probably to try and save Remus from a potentially foreboding conversation.

Roman is pushing Patton and Remus towards the door, their dad chuckles. They must look fairly comedic with Roman angrily pushing against their backs as they stand without budge.

“Remus, you know the family’s winter trip is coming up,” 

“Ugh, don’t remind me,” He rolls his eyes, and Patton smacks him upside the head.

“Your mother and I would like to extend the invitation to Logan, to get to know him.”

The room is so silent, you can almost hear Aunt Patty snoring in the guest room. Despite everything, Remus can’t bring himself to just say “no” to this offer. The family Cabin is huge, beautiful, quiet, and has a very nice library. Y’know, rich people shit. It really does seem like something Logan would love under different different circumstances. 

He agreed to ask, but he was sure Logan would say no.

“No.”

Called it. Remus knew that even if himself, Roman, and Patton groveled and begged, Logan was not going to budge.

“Logan! It’s only two weeks!” Roman pleads.

“You need a break anyway! What’s more relaxing than being my little boytoy!” Remus grumbles, he’s only partially joking. Logan does need a break, he can tell.

“Okay but have you seen their cabin?” Patton asks in the innocently excited way he tends to do.

That piqued Logan’s interest. He looks at Patton and inquisitively moves his eyebrow vaguely upwards. Roman opens up a folder on his phone of photos from the cabin. There are nearly two hundred, but each photo is whittling down Logan’s resolve. He thinks again about their neat little family library. The fairly large room goes almost entirely unused, only with two exceptions. Remus, and long past on Gran-Gran. Remus remembers sitting on his great-grandmother’s lap while she read to him countless stories. She didn’t mind his weirdness. Logan didn’t mind much either. He’d be alone with hundreds of books for three weeks, what more could he want? He’d just have to let Remus sit in. 

“You know,” Remus leans in, whispering into Logan’s ear very gently, “We’ve got a big library.”

That’s what breaks Logan, who lets out the longest sigh Remus has ever heard in his life.

He agrees to go on two conditions. He will have physical contact with Remus but he will not kiss him, and he gets the make up the story of how the pair met. Remus couldn’t be more ecstatic. His family could suck it! He had a sexy ass fake boyfriend, who's probably gonna make up some dumb and adorable story about meeting in at a Library Book Club Meeting. Logan’s hot, he’s hot. It will work out. No strings attached. None. 

Roman jokes to Remus everyday before the trip that we all know how the trip will end. Remus thinks he’s more unpredictable than that. He hopes he is. 

[beyond-far-horizons]

Katara’s potential in LOK and importance of older female role-models in life and fiction

This was not meant to turn into a meta and yet has done! Just a disclaimer I’m still working my way through The Legend of Korra but have mostly been spoiled by reading some great analysis on here. So this isn’t meant to be a comprehensive take and also isn’t meant to disrespect the people who like Legend of Korra or this particular aspect of it. It’s just a subject very close to my heart and my work as a creative practitioner, student of psychology and media analyst, so I really wanted to discuss it. 

Contains some spoilers esp for Season 1.

So I’m biting the bullet and getting into LoK despite reservations. I overall really loved Avatar the Last Airbender and Katara is one of my favourite characters. I admit one of my biggest issues with starting LoK was hearing how her character and agency were drastically reduced compared to the original series.

Now I know LoK gets a lot of flak for a variety of reasons and it was always going to be hard following such a beloved series as A:TLA and trying to do something different. However I’m actually enjoying certain aspects including Korra herself, despite the fact she can be bratty and immature at times (which squares with her age and upbringing). I also find the premise of the Equalists and especially their mysterious, terrifying leader Amon really interesting and I just wish the creators had done more with that plot line. (I forever seem to be going on about missed potential in the stories I consume!)

However the more I continue the more I’m annoyed because I realised we were robbed of Badass Grandma!Katara and also more matrilineal mentoring/bonding between her and Korra. 

Spoilers but I wanted to see Katara go toe to toe with the villains esp give her being intimately connected to their history. I wanted to see her deal with the shadows of the past, the history of trauma associated with bloodbending and the Fire Nation and also the very intriguing points Season 1 was trying to make about the role of bender vs non-bender and the Avatar themselves. All things Katara was deeply involved with as someone who experienced inequality firsthand, fought relentlessly to abolish it and was the previous Avatar’s finder, teacher and later his wife. 

Katara being Aang’s first mentor and implied to be Korra’s waterbendering tutor adds yet another dimension and potential to explore. That whole relationship must be strange for everyone involved but I’m always a sucker for female bonds, found family and intergenerational friendships.

I know LoK is about the new cast taking over - Tenzin fills the role of Korra’s mentor figure onscreen and is loved by many. There are lots of ways to tell a story and the creators focused on Korra’s issues with airbending to contrast her personality and development with Aang’s, as well as to flesh out Aang’s family and the rebuilding of the Air Nomads. 

Yet I miss the potential of seeing wise fierce mentor!Katara on screen. We fans love callbacks, so seeing Katara in action as she used to be would be a joy, and older more powerful characters need not overshadow younger ones. For example Uncle Iroh was beloved and integral in A:TLA despite the fact we saw very little of his backstory. He didn’t take over Zuko’s journey, he aided and complemented it. Plus Toph gets her chance to shine.

There was so much to play with, especially in Season 1 (and would have been a nice reference to Aang meeting Katara first and then Zuko and Toph later). So much contrast between Katara’s experience with Hama, her thoughts about her mother, Gran Gran and the reintroduction of South Water Style. The trauma of bad parental/mentor relationships vs the good examples one can use to alchemise negative patterns that A:TLA was known for (see Iroh, Zuko and Ozai for reference). I don’t want to get too far into spoiler territory but all of this links back to Katara, Hama and Water Tribe and I would have loved to see a further exploration of that and a contrast between her loving bond and fear for Korra vs the villains’ and their education. This would have created more depth between Korra and Amon and co (and wow do I wish that dynamic was explored further - does she even know what happens to him??), and between Katara and Korra and their respective journeys to shoulder their burdens and mature as people and women.

Just think about all those juicy, angsty callbacks we could have done to Hama’s haunting episode! How Katara could have decided to be a better mentor than Hama was to her. (Katara was always a good mentor but if there was any issues in her relationship with Korra re Aang etc this could have been a good place for dramatic tension and resolution.) Of course for all we know this did happen but we don’t see it because we don’t get to see Katara’s training with Korra or much of Katara at all in LoK apart from her failing to heal Korra.

Plus I adore badass ladies and badass grandmas, I have loads in my original fiction. I love people defying stereotypes and sadly there is still a lack of stories not only depicting a range of female role-models but female mentoring and matrilineal bonding.

Read the incredible bestseller Women Who Run with the Wolves by Jungian analyst Clarissa Pinkola Estés if you want to learn more about the power of storytelling, myth and female hero journeys and initiation. A key part of that book is how women have been historically and psychologically undervalued and harmed by the prevailing culture for centuries. Also how it has broken matrilineal lines of wisdom and support and distorted cultural values of how girls and women (not to mention boys and men) view the Feminine. This leaks down into our modern day stories via inherited psychological conditioning and unexamined tropes. 

For example - how many ‘wise old men’ figures can you think of in pop culture, myth, fairytale, religion? Quite a few I’d imagine. Now contrast that with the ‘wise old woman’ archetype...I guessing not as many. I’m sure you’ll find a few but I bet more often the words that come to mind are ‘witch’, ‘sorceress’, ‘crone’ etc. 

The Fairy Godmother (I gave you that one for free;) ) is an exception but she is a watered down version of the powerful, ambivalent figures of folklore such as Baba Yaga. Trust me if the Yaga was your mentor, as she was to Vasalisa in the fairytale Vasalisa the Wise/the Beautiful, you ain’t coming out of that encounter with a crystal slipper, you’re coming out it with a burning skull that incinerates your enemies and I’d like to see that tale popularised!

As mentioned Katara did feature in Korra’s life as a support, a vague mentor figure and a healer - in fact she is the one that initiates Korra’s heroine journey by supporting her decision to leave the stifling confines of her compound, go to Republic City alone and learn airbending. She also offers emotional and medical support during Korra’s traumatic recovery later on in the series. But mostly Katara’s involvement is at the peripheries of The Legend of Korra except when she was failing to heal her.

This isn’t to say that comfort and softness in female relationships are lesser than battle prowess or mental fortitude. Or that failure always bad, it is human and can be a powerful narrative tool for character development. I’m not interested in the infallible ‘Strong Female Character’ stereotype and neither is Estés. Her book illustrates that the Feminine encapsulates all of these qualities and many more and looking at the original Katara she was a perfect example of that. She was empathetic, intelligent, powerful, fierce, devoted, flawed, playful, angry.

I guess what I’m saying is that I miss that Katara and I miss the opportunity of  seeing Korra interact with and learn from that Katara, especially as they have so much in common in terms of shared history, powers, culture and even looks. I’m also missing the opportunity of seeing that Katara battle Amon and all the drama and backstory that could have ensued from those encounters! After all Katara took on her mother’s killer, Hama and the Fire Nation (including one angsty honour-obsessed Fire Prince and his powerful sister), you’re telling me she would have just let Korra, her family and friends be in grave danger in the name of ‘leaving it to the kids’ ESPECIALLY since her own history turned out to be so deeply connected to all of this? Nah...

It’s important for girls* to see a range of wholesome female characters and dynamics play out in their media from an early age, especially to rework and combat the historic negative tropes that our culture is still steeped in. It’s also important to address the devaluing of the elderly, in particular elderly women. The Legend of Korra does in fact build on this from Avatar the Last Airbender by having an even greater range of capable women and girls across ages and morality spectrum. Korra herself (who I’m liking a lot more than I thought I would), is a real stereotype breaker. Toph I’ve heard fulfils the ‘wise old (crotchy) woman’ archetype later in the series. I just wish, given how much I adore A:TLA’s Katara, that we could have seen her shine in an elder role too. 

(*I use terms like ‘girls’, ‘woman/women’ and ‘feminine’. I mean these to also include a broad interpretation of the Feminine than just the hetero/cis-normative one, but sometimes it helps when critiquing something to narrow things down esp something so already psychologically complex in a simple meta.)

[tonksie-writes]

A Mark and a Soul||Chapter 2

Summery: Din has always wanted to meet his soulmate. The moment that he met Cara he knew it was her. Now he’s all but alone in the universe he has to decide his next steps and she distracts him.

Rating: M (This chapter)

A/N: Ok! So I continue to have NO IDEA where this fic is going to take us so join me for this ride of unknown! I’m also shocked because I’ve actually been doing really well with keeping up on this! I’m not normally very good at that especially with no plan! If anyone has prompts or things they’d love to see I would love to hear them cause RN I’m flying blind!  This chapter has smut! It’s very obvious when it’s about to start trust me you’ll know! And it goes to the end of the chapter so if you aren’t a fan of reading that you can easily skip you won’t miss anything I promise! Also it’s been a HOT minute since I wrote smut and while yes I have my history with it I’m looking at you 20 pages of one BDSM scene  I haven’t written anything like this is a FEW years so please forgive me if I’m rusty. So please enjoy

Prologue, Ch 1 ,  AO3

Din has spent a lot of his life dreaming about his soulmate. He had always wondered what that person would look like, what they would be like. His parents had been soulmates and while mandalorians took an oath to give up their soulmates, just as they gave up their ability to show their face, Din had grown up on a planet where Soulmates were a constant. There were thousands of stories and fairy tales told to children of all ages. He had been told from the time of birth about all kinds of different soul matches. There were Prince's being saved by the daring princesses and knights in shining armor. There were even love stories of star-crossed lovers from different planets in different galaxies coming together to solve wars out of the bond. As a child Din had been enraptured by those stories and the thought of having a connection to someone that went beyond what he could see and hear. 

The bond was supposed to be this magic that knit two people. The very energy of the universe that knit two souls and allowed them to pick up on things in each other more easily. It was that thing that let you know exactly when your lover walked into a room. It was the prickle on your neck and tingling in your gut when your lover was watching you when you weren’t looking. It was something that went down to the core of you knitting you together beyond anything else in the universe. 

It had actually been the hardest thing for him to give up when the Mandalorian’s saved him. He didn’t think twice about giving up his face or anything else, even his name was easy to lose to the sands of time. He lost his family, his home planet, and everything he’d held dear and the mandalorians had saved him. They had given him a place to live and a reason to keep going. He was happy to give up anything to have a place to belong. But giving up the hope of finding a soulmate had been the hardest thing that he could imagine. It was the one thing he had wanted to keep even as he promised himself to the Mandalorians. Eventually though, he let that go just like he had everything else. It was the way.

 Din had second-guessed his choice many times. Every so often he would wonder what he would do if he ever came across his soulmate. He figured it was probably some lovely woman on a Backwater planet who had a beautiful smile. Perhaps it would be a dashing gentleman  with his own farm who would take him by the hand and make him want to settle down. Din had always imagined that his soulmate would lead him to another life, make him want something else, something different. That's why it was so surprising when the Rebel Shock Trooper that he ran into a rundown bar had the exact image on her jaw that he had on his.

 While on Sargon, Din had just ignored it. He assumed that it probably just was a trick of the eyes and he hadn't actually seen it. It wasn’t possible and even if it was he wasn’t supposed to let it happen. He was on the run, he had a foundling to care for. He had duties to fulfill and he was a Mandalorian. It wasn't just a trick of the light though. After he had taken off, saying goodbye to Cara, he had finally found a place where he was alone. He had taken off his helmet and looked into a reflective surface seeing rthe mark that was burned into his mind staring back at him. It was the one he had seen flashes of over and over as he fought with and beside Cara Dune.

Perhaps that was why he had instantly thought of her the minute he needed help. Of course she was a fearless fighter and unerringly loyal but she wasn’t the only one he knew like that, at least he didn’t think she was. He couldn’t think of a name or face for it though. He tried not to think it was that connection, that hope of the young boy on a planet far away and so long ago, that had pushed him to find her when he needed her. Over and over there have been times where he looked into her eyes and just wanted to tell her everything but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Then he watched his child leave after just getting him back.

 Watching Grogu walk away with the Jedi  had been one of the hardest things he could ever imagine.  He had grown so fond of his small traveling companion and now he could hardly imagine life without him. Din knew the kid had to go, that has always been the plan. Din would find Grogu’s people and then he would let him go, that had always been the plan.  It didn't make it any easier though.

 Then Cara came into his room of isolated sulking holding a bottle of some sort of alcoholic beverage. She was like some Goddess  from his deepest imaginations. A few words from her and suddenly the world felt a little more stable. It was a talent she’d had and he wasn't entirely sure when it had started. Somehow between fighting and nearly dying and coming back just fine he had fallen deeply in love with his soulmate and nothing was going to stop that.  He was so close to telling her right then and there. Instead he said he was going to go off and look for her; try to find her the woman sitting right next to him. He had hoped that with his helmet off she would come clean she would see what he knew. She had to have noticed. But she didn't say anything.

 For a moment he started to wonder if he hadn't been mistaken somehow. Maybe she just forgot what her own soul mark looked like. He wasn't entirely sure how that could happen but he supposed with all he knew about her background it wouldn't be a surprise. Maybe she was just so wrapped up in everything, maybe she just didn't realize it was him. Maybe he needed to show her again. Or maybe she just didn’t want him like that. Just as he was about to think about that too much, noises of a fight sounded up the stairs of the small ship and they were off.

 Din wasn't entirely sure if he was relieved or frustrated that the shouting wasn't actually a firefight with another ship or the Empire coming after them to hunt them down again.  Instead was Boba Fett fighting once again with Bo Katan and Koska Reeves. By the time he and Cara made it up to the top of the ladder Bo had Boba by the neck and Koska and Fennec were locked in a stalemate. 

“What the pfaask is going on up here?” Cara hissed as the two made their way into the room.

“Just a little disagreement. Nothing to worry about Mando.” Boba said with his charming and congenial tone that let both Cara and Din know that he was lying.

“This waste of genetic material is flying us into a trap.” Bo informed them.

Din looked between the four of them and his eyes narrowed at Boba. He didn’t have the capacity for this right now. He wanted to take Cara back down stairs or just drink away his soulmate and his son’s memories. Neither was an option in this ruckus.

“Show a little respect. We helped you on your mission.” Fennec grit out between clenched teeth.

“Enough!” Din said, finally getting everyone’s attention. “I’m grateful for everyone’s help. The child is safe because of all of you. I pulled you all from your lives and I understand you need to return to those. I am the one in your debt.” He said to everyone before turning to Boba Fett and Fennec specifically. “If you are willing we will drop Bo Katan and Koska off on Trask and Marshall Dune on Nevarro and then I will help you with whatever you need.”

“Not a chance.” Cara said, drawing the eyes of everyone in the group. “I’m staying with you.” She said with finality speaking only to Din. She had worked well with the girls as they took the ship, it was actually rather impressive and beautiful to watch as the four of them took out everything like machines. 

Bo hesitated and stepped forward “You have the dark saber. Like it or not you are the Mand’alor now. If we are to retake our planet you have to be at the head.” She pushed and he could nearly feel Cara’s glare at the redhead over his shoulder.

“To even look for more Mandalorians we need a ship that can’t be tracked, that needs credits unless you want to be in even deeper debt to Boba Fett the mission to reclaim Mandalore and find more Mandalorians will have to wait.” 

“And what do you plan to do to get that ship?” Bo Asked forcefully. “Run around playing bounty hunter for Boba Fett?”

“Marshall Dune has offered me work on Novarro. After I repay my debt I’ll work with her and come to Trask when I have what we need.” He said firmly his mind flicking back to the Ugnaught Kuiil he lost in the battle with Gideon I have spoken. “Or you could take the saber and do it yourself.”

Din watched the emotions flying across Bo Katan’s face and he had to wonder why the hell she didn’t just take it when he offered it. It seemed he still had a lot to learn about other Mandalorians. He had been raised by the Children of the Watch, apparently a cult, but still so much culture seemed lost on him. For a moment he thought Bo would strike out to fight him and he felt more than heard Cara shift behind him and all but growl out “Try it.” over his shoulder. 

Koska seemed to tense ready to defend Bo in an instant but Bo stepped back with a smirk and nodded. “Fine. We will return to Trask and gather what we can. The Saber is in the hands of a Mandalorian and that is what matters.” She said with finality. “If you would be so kind as to return us to Trask…” He could hear the insult on the tip of Bo Katan’s tongue but she finished with “We would be grateful, Fett.” and he felt his body relax some as he finished. 

Bo and Koska walked toward the storage compartment that they had claimed as their room and the other four stood looking at each other. “I appreciate the offer Mando but you do not need to stay. Fennec and I can take care of a small slaving operation like Fortuna. We’re even now. Our debt to you is paid.” He said offering a hand.

“Bib Fortuna?” Cara asked this time with interest in her voice. Din looked to her and as if she could see the expression of confusion she continued. “The head of the Hutt crime syndicate and known slaver?”

Fennec nodded “That’s the one.”

“He’s a high level target for the Republic. Dead or alive coming in with a Moff and Fortuna... “ Cara didn’t have to finish for Din to know the end of the sentence. It’d be enough credits to buy a ship and the repairs and then some. Besides that she’d be a hero enough to have as much leeway as she wanted.

“Are you saying you want to help them?” Din asked her.

“I’m saying I wouldn’t mind playing a part in the downfall of one of the universe’s most infamous crime bosses. I owe him for a princess of mine.” She said and Din wanted the explanation of that later.

“Then you’re coming with us?” Fennec ask.

Din simply nodded his head and Boba clapped and rubbed his hands. “Excellent. I won’t turn down the help! Especially when it comes in such a lovely package as Marshall Dune.” Boba flirted. Din tried to ignore the spike of annoyance that drilled into him, it wasn’t as though Fett meant anything by it. Cara was beautiful, it was just an observation. It still drove Din to want to growl posessively.

“Charming but I’m just here for him and to get paid.” Cara responded easily. The air of her words was almost playful. There was no bite or insult and Fett seemed to take it well. 

“Understood. Well, looks like I have coordinates to put in. You two should rest we’ll plan in the morning.” He offered.

“No more fighting?” Din asked. The question and tone once again made him feel like a father and he got another shooting pang of missing the kid. As if she could feel his sadness Cara was there, stepping up to his side a strong and silent comfort.

“I assure you as long as the princess stays in her quarters, I will remain at peace.” Boba charmed. It was enough for now and Din and Cara returned to the area below deck.

“You’re sure you want to come?” Din asked once they were carefully locked in the guest bunk the ship had for reasons Din was not about to think over.

“You can’t have all the fun.” She joked but he could see something else there. There was something she wasn’t saying, something tugging at her mind and heart. “Besides with the kid-- with everything someone’s gotta look after you.” He wasn’t sure whether he was grateful she cut herself off or if it hurt more. The pain of losing the child was overwhelming but it wasn’t a loss. Grogu was going to be learning, growing. He was where he needed to be. Now it was Din’s turn to look for  his own place.

He sat just looking at her for a moment. The silence was heavy and it almost felt like she could see him under the helmet. As if to break some sort of trance she reached over to the bottle they’d been drinking before the tussle up stairs and took a big swig. “Look, I don’t do well with feelings but even I know this has been a long day so I’m going to give you an offer and you’re not going to overthink it or freak out about it you’re just going to nod yes or no.” she instructed “Understand?” She asked. 

He felt like he had just been asked to calculate advanced hyperdrive mechanics without a datapad. He had no idea where this was going or what she was thinking but he also couldn’t fight her when she was standing there in front of him resolute and in control when he felt so out of control. So he nodded his head.

“Good.” she said walking over to the door and locking it before pulling off the armored shirt she wore leaving a dangerously tight tank top as her only covering. 

“What are you--” He started but she held up a finger.

“No talking. You take that bottle over to the corner. Have one cup, just one, and then I take you over to this rack and distract you. One night, no strings just you getting out what you need. You can even keep the helmet on.” She offered. “Or you say no and we never talk about this again.” She added.

Din didn’t know what to choose in this. How could he? Part of him wanted to ask her about the bond. What she was planning to do when it was solidified by skin to skin contact. They’d never touched skin before but he knew from the stories what happened when they did. Did she know? How could she not? When two soulmates touched they grew a bond that couldn’t be severed except by death. Even without the bond Cara could see more of him than anyone he’d ever met. She always seemed to know what he was thinking or when he needed her to duck left as he went right. It seemed like they’d been able to read each other from the moment they met. He wasn’t sure what he’d do if it got even stronger. He wasn’t even sure how it could.

He was silent too long, he could feel the time stretch and for a moment his confident Shock Trooper looked like her resolve was about to buckle. The momentary flash in her eyes was enough for him to make his choice. Bond or not he was going to spend tonight with his soulmate. The universe owed him that much. He stood up with the bottle and moved over to the corner. “I’d rather just turn the lights off.” He said as he walked over to a screen taking off his helmet. 

“That’s so much less fun.” She joked but he could hear the rustling of her taking off her clothing and he took off his own after downing the shot. Suddenly the room was completely dark. 

“Cara?” He asked into the darkness. He didn’t need to, he could feel her in the dark by the light controls. He could feel her blind eyes searching the shadows of the sealed room magnetically summoning him to her.

“I’m here.” She said taking a step then another. He walked from behind the screen towards her easily feeling where she was even without eyes. He could blame it on the soldier’s senses and all his training. He could blame it on years of being on the lookout for threats. He could lie to himself. Here in the dark with nothing between them but air as they took step by step he couldn’t bring himself to. He knew this was different. He knew he could find her in any situation without needing to look. Whether he could say it out loud or not there was no question to him that this woman was his soulmate and somehow that made this so much more important. 

His hand reached out on its own and hesitated just over her jaw before it lowered right onto the mark they shared. In a flash the coil snapped and they sprank at each other lips crashing tongues tangling and hands roaming.

In the dark with nothing but the sensation of her calloused fingertips he wondered just how many hands she had. One was in his hair the other on his neck then down his chest and on his biceps feeling every inch of him. He was sure he was no better as his own hand slipped from her jaw to her shoulder, his other smoothing up and down her side avoiding anywhere too forward. 

Her hands suddenly grabbed his and for a second he thought she was changing her mind. “It works a lot better if you do this.” She said, pulling his hands to her breasts and encouraging them to squeeze. She let out a lewd moan and that broke the dam.

He pushed her back against the wall seeking leverage to pull her closer. His hand went to her hip squeezing her ass and trying to pull up her leg over his hip but was surprised when she took that opportunity to leverage their weight and flip them so she was pressing into him. He shouldn’t be surprised this would be a fight. Everything else with them was. He could feel her smile and glee as they warred for dominance, her hands raking over his chest and nails lightly scratching making him hiss in pleasure. 

She pulled back from the kiss biting his lower lip and just when he was about to move his mouth to her neck her lips met his jaw just over their mark and a rush pulsed through his body. He was sure she felt it too from the way her hips ground to his and he pulled her closer, his grip on her hips bruising. “Kriffing pfaask.” He hissed trying to flip them again but she had his shoulders pinned to the wall as she kissed down his jaw with little nips. 

“That’s quite the mouth you have there.” She teased playfully against his skin and an idea hit him. His hand snuck up to pinch her nipple playfully rolling it between his fingers and her head fell back as he kissed her neck and used the hand still on her hip to pull her forward and force their weights to shift so he had her pinned against the wall. “That’s playing dirty.” She hissed to him.

“Keep up.” He growled playfully and her mouth was on his again pulling him in by the hips her hand going back to his hair and he was starting to wonder if she just liked the feel of his curls between her fingers as much as he was enjoying feeling it. Suddenly one of her hands reached up and she found a pipe above them that he’d noticed earlier hung lower than the others. She pulled down slightly to ensure it was strong enough to hold her weight and suddenly her legs were pulled up and wrapped around her waist. As he felt the soaking folds of her vuelva come into contact with his own hard cock and that was nearly the end of him.

His forehead fell forward finding purchase between her breasts and his hot mouth bit and sucked the skin on her sternum. “Please Cara.” he breathed into the dark.

“Now.” she breathed back a demand. It spoke to her strength that she was holding herself up on the tiny pipe as he shoved himself inside of her bucking in with a surprising ease. “Fark.” She hissed rocking her hips against him. 

“Let go.” He breathed to her as he set a slow gentle pace. He could feel her surprise tickle his mind and it warmed him through to feel the connection that had slid into place as they touched. “I’ve got you, let go.” He assured and she did. She dropped her hands as he took her full weight and easily navigated them to the bunk. As soon as her back hit the mattress she rolled on top of him and this time he didn’t fight her, he was certain this wouldn’t be their last time. It probably wouldn't even be their last time tonight so he’d have plenty of opportunities to take his turn. 

He lost himself in the feel of her hips and her depths. His hand went to her center and gently pressed to her clit rubbing as she angled her hips to a position that made her moan with every thrust. He could feel her hands on his thighs and his mind flashed images of what she looked like over him: Back arched and breasts bouncing as her muscles clenched and unclenched through her stomach and up her shoulders and arms. He cursed himself for asking for the lights off because he was certain it would be his favorite image in history.

With particularly deep thrust and a skillful press of her clit he felt her come around him and if that wasn’t enough to throw him into his own orgasm he heard her whisper his name “Din.” To the room and the squeeze of his heart threw him into the abyss as quickly as his body did. Rasping her name back to her like a prayer. 

If the world shifted and their lives changed, if they felt the tug of the bond they had both refused to acknowledge solidify, they both ignored it for now. Tonight was theirs to ignore the rest of the world. Tonight was about them. No strings.

[calliecat93]

Top 10 Disney Couples

Last year for Valentines, I did a post on some of my favorite all-time ships. I wanted to do something like that again this year, so I decided to do Disney specifically. I’m only gonna count the main animated features (with one exception), so no Pixar but maybe I’ll give that its own list next year. Also, because I put this ship on my list last year, I’m going to exclude Rapunzel/Eugene (they’d be Number 2 otherwise) so that I can talk about some other pairings that I love. And trust me, when it comes to Disney, I got plenty.

Okay, here we go~

#10. Milo Thatch/Kida (Atlantis the Lost Empire)

Atlantis is one of the most underrated Disney films ever, and same with this pair. Okay so I guess technically they didn’t get together since there wasn’t a kiss or anything... but come on! While their intentions were all in the second half of the movie, it was just so... sweet to me. Milo had it rough through the whole movie with so many people belittling him. Even though he made friends with the crew and doing so got them to do the right thing, they were still pretty harsh on the poor guy in the start. He had been mocked due to his dreams, but never gave up even when his inexperience and dorkiness got in the way.

Kida though? She seemed endeared by him. Just like Milo had a curiosity in finding Atlantis and learning of their culture, Kida was interested in Milo and the world he came from. She might be the very first person aside form Mr. Whitmore who acted kindly to Milo right off the bat and asked him to help her save her people and culture. Milo didn’t go for the money, he went because it was his grandfather’s dream, and in turn his dream. They were so cute and fun together as they learned about each other's worlds, and of course, Milo did everything he possibly could to save Kida after she and the crystal bonded, as well as the entire city. Even at the risk of his own life. And just that hug between them at the end and Milo choosing to stay in Atlantis. Just... beautiful. This pair might be subtle, but it's just so sweet and respectful to each other and I just love them.

#9. Duchess and Thomas O’Malley (The Aristocats)

I think this was one of the first movies I ever saw in my life. My mom said I used to watch it all the time as a kid anyways. Heck, pretty sure this movie is why I love cats so much.

Anyways, this pair is cute. Duchess is a classy lady, while Thomas is a swinger. But they just have this natural chemistry the minute that they met. They don’t judge each other from their different walks of life or anything. You can tell that Duchess was charmed the second Thomas first came on. But what sells is, while thrown off for a moment, when Thomas realizes Duchess has kittens? He pretty much goes into dad mode instantly and tries to keep them happy/protect them. I mean he didn't have to help Marie when she fell out of the milk truck at that point, but he did it because it was the right thing to do. He wasn't one of those assholes who got thrown off cause the girl had kids. Heck, that seemed to bring them closer together.

But yeah, it’s just nice and charming to me. There’s nothing real deep about it, but IDK. There’s just something endearing about it to me. Maybe t’s due to Eva Gabor’s performance as Duchess, which also kinda helps with a pairing later on. But I just find them charming and Thomas showed to be a good guy and a good father figure. Sometimes you don’t need a lot of depth for a pair, you just gotta make the sense of romance come off. Disney has always been good at that, and this pair demonstrates that.

#8. Cinderella/Prince Charming (Cinderella)

So to be fair this one has little to no development. Which is kind fo a thing with some of the early Disney films n it’s things like this that Frozen pointed out... even though it kinda fell into the same cliche, but ah well. But you know what? As I said, Disney is usually pretty damn good at making you like a pair, even if it’s out of focus. This one is a prime example. We don’t see much of the Prince, but at the same time there is so much there.

Throughout the movie, we saw Cinderella belittled and abused by her stepfamily. She’s treated like a slave and gets her dreams literally torn apart right in front of her eyes. But she tries to remain kind and hopeful, and the Fairy Godmother rewards her for it. She gets the one night at the Bal. She didn’t go intending to find love, he went because for one time in her life since her parents died, she could have one night of happiness. That was all she wanted. Then Charming saw her. It was him who got struck with love at first sight It was him who walked out on th other girls and approached her. A prince noticed this girl who felt that she was a lowly servant, and danced with her. FOr Cinderella, that had to be so touching and amazing that can we blame her for being so in love after? After someone finally, finally gave her some long overdue affection.

Yeah in RL this can be dangerous. But it isn’t RL. It’s a fairy tale. Cindy earned her happy ending. And if we needed genuine proof about the Prince, A Twist in Time showed that he was indeed a good, heroic person. He didn’t judge Anastasia off her looks. When he found out the truth, he went to find Cinderella and remembered his love for her. He never cared that Cindy was a servant or anything. He loved her when he saw her, and clearly loved her for who she was. Cindy found someone who would give her the love that was so cruelly denied form her and she got out of her abusive family through it. Is it perfect? No, and I can give the remake points for doing a better job at developing the romance. But even so, it’s just s beautiful pair I loved since like... three years old. As such IDC what anyone says, I will always love them. 

#7. Belle/Beast aka Adam (Beauty and the Beast)

It might be a surprise to some, but... I’m not a huge fan of Beauty and the Beast. Don’t get me wrong, I like it. I just feel like Belle, compared to Ariel and some of the later princesses is a little too boring. I still love her though. She’s bookish and kind and is seen as weird by her town, but she pursues what she enjoys anyways. She refuses Gaston’s advances as, while she had expressed wanting love, she didn’t want it with a brute like him. She wanted to choose herself. Then The Beast happens.

People tot his day still like to throw the Stockholm Syndrome card around, but it is idiotic. Belle never caved to Beast when he acted like a brute. But he did see that he wasn't a bad person when he saved her from the wolves, ad she chose to tend to him because she’s a good person. Yes, Beast needs her to break the curse, but Belle doesn’t just cave in either. Beast has to change himself to earn Belles's affection, and over time he does. He learns to be kinder and sure it’s a work in progress, but he does try and he does become better. It goes form needing Belle out of necessity, to genuinely falling in love with her because of her kindness towards him. Belle made Beast a better person, and once she saw the person he truly was, she fell in love with him.

But even then, despite those feelings, Belle decides to leave because her father needed her. Beast, instead of trying to force her to stay, allows her to go. That’s how much he loved her at that point. He loved her enough to let her go, even though that meant he’d be doomed. But it’s through that act, that selflessness, that allows the curse to eventually break. Because of Belle, Beast broke away form being a monster and spared Gaston. Because Belle saw the good in Beast, she stood up to Gaston and went back to save the man she loved. Because of that love, the curse was broken, and Beast became Adam once more. Belle saved Adam. Even if I’m not a huge fan of that film, it’s such a beautiful demonstration of the power of love and they truly deserved each other. A tale as old as time, indeed.

#6. Miss Bianca/Bernard (The Rescuers)

THIS IS THE MOST UNDERRATED DISNEY SHIP EVER.

I love these two so much. Again, its a rather understated pair, but it just works. Bernard is the nervous janitor of the Rescue Aid Society, but he clearly believes int heir cause as shown when he sings the anthem outside. Bianca is the Sweedish representative who has many admirers, but her heart is set on her job. She takes a liking to Bernard because she sees that compared to pretty much everyone else, he believes in rescuing those in trouble with the same passion as she does. He also shows how much he cares for her by being worried about her going to save Penny. Not because she’s a girl, but because he wants her to be safe. That clearly touched her and is why she picked him to be her co-agent.

They both work well together, Binca encouraging Bernard and being the charmer, more relaxed one. Bernard is frequently nervous, but he has a clear knack for the job and does it well. By the time they are on the way to Devil’s Bayou, it’s clear that they’ve acknowledged their feelings for one another. Ther’s no major arc or anything, it’s just two individuals feeling mutually attracted and feeling comfortable with their feelings. They work very well together and manage to rescue Penny, and later Doby in the sequel. The sequel retains the same charm, and the end where Bernard finally proposes makes me smile big every single time.

It’s just a lovely pairing that works so well and it is soooo underrated. It needs more love.

#5. Tiana/Prince Naveen (The Princess and the Frog)

I love this pair so much. It’s a classic ‘came from two different worlds’ story. You have the hard-working and ambitious Tiana and the lazy, spoiled Prince Naveen. Tiana is a good person, but she tends to put work over everything else and never lets herself relax. Naveen is a fun and intelligent man, but he’s spoiled and doesn’t know how to do anything, which caused his parents to cut him off. Due to this, Naveen got himself cured and he ended up passing it onto Tiana.

It is through each other that they find what is missing. Naveen has someone who actually pushes him to work and to realize his own flaws. How he doesn’t know how to act in the real world, even though he shows that he has plenty of skills if he tried. Having someone like Tiana who didn’t fall for his charm and pushed him to actually do things got him to better himself, and it clearly drew him to her. With Tiana, Naveen helped her see that there is more to life than working hard. It’s okay to take a step back and to find things like love. Her dream will always be there, but love will only come around every so often. It helps Tiana ease up and believe in things like wishing stars again, and it paid off for her.

Even at the end, when it looks like they’ll never become human, they accept it. Naveen almost gives up his freedom to marry Charlotte not to turn human again but to let Tiana fulfill her dream. Tiana realizes that she loves Naveen and even if it means losing what she wanted, she’ll still have what she needs, just like her father did. But it works out as once they get married, Tiana is now a princess and their kiss breaks the spell. Tiana got her dream. Naveen did everything he could to make that dream happen, including work with his own bare hands. They got the thing they both wanted and needed, and it’s just beautiful. Neither one are perfect, but their love is genuine, and I adore them and their journey,

#4. Hercules/Meg (Hercules)

I just realises that 5-2 are all from Musher and Clements directed films. Huh. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised though. Those two are so good at making likable couples. Even if they only have to much time to develop them, they make them good and their live believable and I love them. Hercules and Meg are no exception.

Unlike other heroines, Meg is a little older and less innocent. Herc is the more innocent one this time around. Herc is a good-hearted guy trying to figure out who he is and wants to be a hero to reunite with his God family. He saves Meg where despite some clumsiness, he pulls it off. Meg is clearly amused and Herc is lovestruck by her beaut. But of course, Meg is with Hades due to selling her soul to save her lover... who left her for another woman. Meg is cynical and hurt, and considering she pretty much gave up her soul for a man who left her without so much as a thank you, it’s hard to blame her.

Even though Hades makes her get close to Herc to find his weakness, Meg ends up falling for him due to his kindness and genuine heroic heart. She’s in denial of it because of what she experienced, but he wins her over. So much so that even if it means eternal servitude, she refuses to help Hades anymore. Unfortunately, it only gives Hades what he needs to break Herc, and it hurts them both. But despite clearly being heartbroken by the deception and being powerless, Herc trie to save everyone anyways. THen Meg sacrifices herself to save him and restore his power, making Herc realize she did really love him. Herc grew to love Meg because she was smart, funny, and she made him feel less alone. Seeing that she was willing to die for him, despite all that happened, really showed how strong that love truly was. Meg again sacrificed herself to save who she loved, and Hercules proved he was a hero by going to the Underworld himself to save Meg. He was willing to sell his own soul to let Meg leave, and this act got him his full Godhood restored.

But the best part? At the end despite finally being deemed a True Hero and being back at Mount Olympus, what does Hercules do? He gives it up. For Meg. He finally found the place he came form... but it wasn’t where he belonged. He belonged on Earth. The place that raised him. The place he found Meg. His parents are stunned, but clearly happy for him and grant his wish. They finally get to kiss, and it feels so earned. Hercules found someone who loves him for him and can fill the void. Meg found some genuinely kind who would never leave or hurt her. That's the best way to describe this pair, genuine.

#3. Ariel/Eric (The Little Mermaid)

In many ways, this pairing set up the basis for many pairings to come.

Ariel is a mermaid who wants to be human. Eric is an adventurous prince wanting to enjoy life. One fateful night, Ariel stumbled upon his ship and it was love at first sight. Not just on her end either. When she saved him, Eric got one glimpse at her, but could only remember her voice. He wanted to find this mysterious girl again (a fact many critics seem to ignore) and thus the stage is set. After Triton destroys her grotto, Ariel takes Ursula’s deal and becomes human, and gets her chance to woo Eric.

These two are just adorable. People still get on Ariel for her choice here, and yeah she fell in love super fast. But she already wanted to be human, and I think some of her feelings were more infatuation than real love at first. But once humans, we see that Eric is a genuinely nice guy. Even though he thinks Ariel isn’t the girl since she can’t talk, what doe she do? He takes her to the palace anyways because clearly, she needs help and shelter, and he’s willing to give her that. I think that’s what gets Ariel to truly love him, seeing that he’s a good person and kind of her ideal vision of what humans are like. Then Ariel, despite being mute, is just so charming and weet that Eric ends up feeling attracted to her. So much sot hat once Grimm points it out to him, he gives up on his curiosity over the girl who saved him and is about to turn his affections towards Ariel. Sure Ursula messed that up, but it showed that no, he didn’t fall for Ariel because it turned out she was that girl. He fell in love with Ariel because of who Ariel was. Just as she fell for him because of who he was.

I truly did not care that their romance was rushed. It was genuinely charming and sweet. They were both good people, and seeing two good people happy is perfectly fine. Especially at the end where once she found out what Ursula was doing, Ariel went after them even though she couldn’t swim in her human form. Eric, despite being human, went to save Ariel from Ursula, and she, in turn, saved him from getting blasted. Then Eric finished Ursula once and for all, nearly getting killed int he process but this proves himself worthy to Triton. He grants Ariel legs, and the two can finally be together. The critics and ‘feminists’ can say what they want, they are adorable and just good for each other and as I said, are the template for so many couples afterwards. I love them, dang it!

#2. Aladdin/Princess Jasmine (Aladdin)

IDK what it is about these two! They’re just so... perfect! IDK how to explain why, but I’m gonna try.

Like I said, Musker and Clements are just really good at making likable pairs. Aladdin is a street rat striving for more. Jasmine is a princess who wants freedom. When they meet, its true love. It doesn't even feel like Aladdin fell for her cause she was pretty, it truly feels like he saw his soulmate for the first time. Then the two find a common link in feeling trapped in their lives. They both want more. Want to create something better for themselves. And they find that they may just be able to get that through each other. But then Aladidn is arrested and Jafar lies that he was executed, breaking Jasmine and essentially ensuring that she wasn’t going to leave again.

Then Prince Ali shows up. Jasmine is angered because he appears pompous and because her everyone si trying to make decisions about her without her consent. She isn’t a prize to be won. Ali, of course, is Aladdin, and once Jasmine tells him off, he realizes how the persona he’s putting on is wrong. He acts more like himself, showing that he likes Jasmine not because of her looks or money, but because she’s a fun, strong-willed person. Once she sees this and suspects he’s Aladdin, she goes with him on the magic carpet. A Whole New World is one of the most romantic scenes in any movie period. You will never be able to convince me otherwise. It ends with Jasmine realizing Ali’s identity, and while he still lies, Aladdin acts like himself and Jasmine falls for the person he truly is.

But of course, Aladdin is still lying. So he still needs to prove himself worthy after. Which he does by defeating Jafar despite having only his street rat skills to aid him. But he accomplishes it masterfully. He realizes that he can't live a lie or force Genie into servitude just to fulfill his won want. He frees Genie, but he didn't need his magic by then. he more than proved himself to the Sultan, who lets Jasmine choose who she wants. I think he’d have done this long before if not for Jafar’s hypnosis, and the smile of Jasmine’s face is just beautiful. She chooses Aladdin, and it is indeed a whole new world for both of them. It’s just so genuine and pure and I love them.

So... back at the top, I said there was one exception to the ‘strictly form Disney animated features’ rule. Why? Because I just could not leave this one off. It would feel wrong because it is one of, if not the, most perfect and longest-lasting couples in all fo entertainment. Who am I talking about? 

#1. Mickey and Minnie Mouse

As the old saying goes: it all started with a mouse.

Mickey and Minnie is so freakin pure it makes me feel the warm fuzzies if I so much as see a photo of them. Really, anything they are in together makes me feel that way. For over ninety years, these two have graced pretty much every media form ever and have been together in some fashion throughout it. They have the same birthday and last name for crying out loud! This was destiny!

Both Mickey and Minnie are sweet and endearing. Mickey is the face of Disney and while I know some find him bland and one-note, there’s always just been this charm to him. I love how much of a sweetie he is, and he does have his mischevious streak. Minnie over the years has become more sassy and stern, letting her not just be Mickey’s girlfriend. But no matter what changes the two have been through, their utter love for each other has never faded away. You can put them in anything in any setting, and they will be head over heel for each other. 

I mean even their longest-lasting voice actors, Wayne Allwine and Russi Taylor, got married due to these roles. Mickey ad Minie got married in real life. It really showed too. You could just tell that Mickey and Minnie, Wayne and Russi, were just so in love and it made you love them. It’s something that’s gonna be hard due to Wayne and Russi’s passings, but true love is eternal. That love will always exit through Mickey and Minnie. Even when Bret Iwan and Chris Diamantopolis took over Mickey, you still feel the love between Mickey and Minnie and I’m sure that whoever takes over Minnie will also keep that intact. That love is immortalized, and I will continue to love every second of it.

Mickey Mouse is the one who started it all, but Mickey and Minnie are the ones who started Disney’s pure love stories. I think that’s something that Disney has always been good at. Sure the romances can be rushed and happen at first sight. Even they’ve made fun of themselves for it But they’re just so good at it. As they say, don’t fix what ain’t broke. Maybe give it a fresh coat of paint, but don’t fix what doesn't need it. I look forward to seeing future Disney pairs, and I will cherish them all, both old and new Happy Valentines Day everyone~

[diary-of-a-housewifes-housefire]

Tonight he said something that deeply pisses me off. I just didn't react like I wish I had. I never do. Keep things calm and don't fight in of the kids.

He's been insinuating I'm a whore for a while, but only to me. That my housekeeping jobs aren't actually housekeeping. That my club stuff is all sex. That my club zoom calls are actually me stripping and performing on camera. All this. It's completely ridiculous. But tonight, as we're having our usual bedtime chatter with the kids we were taking about how we earn money. For them, chores and stuff. Husband talked about his lawn mowing and yard work when he was young. Then my son turned to me and asked what I did. I'm a housewife and stay at home mom, but I have always worked. They don't know all the work I've done. Housekeeping is one thing I can do, even in this quarantine. Anyway, I was staring to tell him about what I did when I was young. Husband interrupted. In a fairy tale story telling voice said, exactly as I'm quoting here,

"Mommy puts on a pair of her high heels and a pretty dress and walks down the street..."

And he trailed off smiling at the kids the same way you would of you were waiting for a kid to finish the story about a talking dog, or what Santa has on his list. And my 7 year old son completely missed it, but my 10 year old daughter knew what he was saying.

My god. Fucking hell. What in the FUCK would compel someone to say some fucked up shit like that. To our children! What the fuck?!

I said politely, but I should have been more barbed, "That's not funny." and then continued with what I was saying. I was so shocked I didn't have time to think about all the ways that was completely inappropriate. Hurtful. Insulting. Damaging. Wrong.

He's joking with our 7 and 10 year old kids about their mother being a prostitute. This is a new low.

This is following the afternoon where he had nothing but attitude UNTILL I discovered that in 2 weeks there were SEVENTEEN beer boxes in our recycling. I couldn't even sort the kitchen container before breaking down all of his beer cans. SEVENTEEN! In 2 weeks! And that doesn't even count the ones that are in glass bottles in the other bin. After that he was all smiles and polite and "Can I do anything for you?" How stupid does he think I am?!

This discovery came just hours after he's complaining about us not having any money to pay for a repair service we were having that very day. 17 packs of beer at approximately $14 per box plus the pack a day cigarette habit plus the daily fast food. Jesus fucking Christ. How did it get this bad?

My current project is to go to the bank without alerting him to it, so I can speak to a person about getting a years worth of bank records without his knowledge or it appearing on any mail that he will open. I can't do it from home because he stopped my bank based credit card payments and they've shut off my access to anything other than making a payment. Which I can't do because he manages the money. Read: I can't make payments without him submitting it. And my perfect credit is completely destroyed. Thanks asshole.

Fuck this shit.

I can't get this divorce started soon enough.

13 years of wearing me down has been corrected with 2 years in my club with people who show me what it's actually like to care about someone. And none of them have fucked me. And I've never fucked any of them. They want me around, they care about me, they respect me, and it's not because they get to fuck me in exchange. I'm worth more than my pussy. Imagine that! They're not getting anything from me other than my company and conversation. When I actually speak enough to call it a conversation.

He described me as a prostitute to our kids. What a fucking prick. I can only imagine the shit he'll say after the process has begun. Maybe I should let them know about all the times he cheated on me. That ought to shut his fucking mouth. But I won't do that. Because they're children and don't need to have those kinds of things associated with their parents. Also, because I'm not a fucking prick. There is that as well.

[suzukatherandom67-blog]

Lucky Luke is owned by Morris Morning had soon arrived in the desert and slowly enveloped the land with its warm light. It slowly crept over the four separate territories waking up its inhabitants. Luke slowly began to stir awake. His head felt groggy and his body felt weak from the effects of the tranquilizer. He struggled to sit up straight but finally managed to do so. "Ugh. What was in that dart?" Luke asked himself as he rubbed the temples of his forehead. He started to remember bits and pieces of what had happened last night. Luke recalled that he was on his way to talk to the eldest Kingery sibling before he ran into the Daltons. The Daltons, that word quickly brought back Luke's memories. He was just about to tie up Averell when the other managed to fire off a blow gun which had been mistaken for a flute. Luke had been hit by the tranquilizer dart that was inside before passing out. Out of instinct Luke quickly jumped to his feet readying himself for a brawl with the Dalton brothers. He soon regretted it as dizziness took over causing Luke to drop to his knees. Luke took a moment to let the dizziness subside before getting back to his feet this time slowly. Luke observed the room around him noticing it was to nice of a place for the Daltons to use as a hideout. "They didn't tie me up either that's strange". Luke said to himself. Luke saw a chair in the corner of the room that had his holster and revolver as well as his hat. Luke found that really odd. If the Daltons had taken him hostage why would they leave him his revolver. Luke scratched his head in confusion before he heard the door behind him click open. Luke quickly rushed over to his revolver before a female voice spoke out. "Don't you dare grab that gun cowboy". The voice demanded. Luke froze as the door opened reveling Renee who had a trey of food in her hands. "Don't worry I mean you no harm, just thought I bring you some breakfast". Renee said. Luke looked at the woman with suspicion. "Who are you and how did I end up here"? Luke asked. "My name is Renee I'm a friend of Mrs. Kingery's. You were brought here last night by the Daltons". Renee replied. Luke gave a look of surprise. "Wait the Daltons brought me here? What would make them do such a thing"? More importantly why haven't you guys locked them up yet"? Luke asked. "We were going to lock them up but the short Dalton managed to strike a deal with Mrs. Robin". Renee said. Luke remembered Jack and William mentioning that they made a deal with Robin in order to get out of trouble. "Joe told me that they were trying to stop the feud by helping Robin find her kid but I don't see how that has anything to do with....me". Luke trailed off. "Wait don't tell me that the Daltons think I'm Robin's kid"? Luke asked. Renee nodded her head as Luke finally pieced it together. "Wow I never realized how desperate the Daltons were to escape to make themselves believe that I am the son of the woman who is promising their freedom". Luke chuckled. Renee however did not find this funny. "Mr. Luke although the Daltons did make the deal out of desperation you are the closest man I have ever seen that resembles Robin's son". Renee said. Luke looked at her with surprise. "You're kidding right? You actually believe I'm Robin's son"? Luke asked. "Appearance wise yes, but other than that I can not say for certain". Renee said. Luke took his hat from the chair and placed it on his head. "Well I'm sorry to disappoint you and Mrs. Robin, but I'm pretty certain I'm not the guy you folks are looking for". Luke said as he put on his boots. Luke was about to leave the room before Renee spoke up. "How can you be so certain"? She asked. Luke turned around at the door to face Renee. "Do you have parents waiting for you at home"? Renee asked. "Um..No I'm an orphan". Luke responded. "Did you even know your parents"? Renee asked. "Well no". Luke replied. "Then how can you be certain that Robin isn't your mother"? Renee questioned the cowboy. "I just ... it just seems impossible". Luke said. "Nothing in this world is impossible Mr. Luke. Just look at yourself you can shoot faster then your own shadow, that would be considered impossible yet here you are". Renee said. Luke fell silent at Renee's words. Renee could see the confusion and uncertainty in Luke's eyes. Her face became one of understanding as Renee sympathized with Luke knowing very well that today his whole world could change. She placed the trey on the table. "Why don't you sit down and have some breakfast? You missed dinner while you were out so I bet you'rr pretty hungry right about now. As for the son thing don't worry about that we'll talk about it later". Renee said. "Thank you". Luke said. Renee left the room leaving Luke alone with his thoughts. Luke was able to keep the thoughts of possibly being Robin's son at bay by thinking on how to handle the current situation with the Daltons and the feud between the four Kingery's. But those thoughts about Robin didn't stay away for long though as Luke knew in the end he would need her to help stop the feud and to try to convince Robin to deny the Daltons sanctuary. Once Luke was done with his meal he finished getting ready for the day before heading downstairs mentally preparing himself for the what lie ahead. Luke soon found himself in front of Robin who had her back to him unaware of the cowboy's presence. He tried to get the words out to say hello but Luke was finding it quite difficult. Luke could feel the words get caught in his throat as a bead of sweat rolled off his brow. Just as Luke finally managed to open his mouth Robin had turned around with a look of surprise taking over her face as she spotted the cowboy. "Oh, Luke I didn't see you there, did you sleep well last night"? Robin asked. "Yes mam I slept like a bab..log I slept like a log". Luke said hastily. "I bet you did, that tranquilizer sure had you out for quite some time". Robin said.   The two stood in an awkward silence before Luke managed to speak up. "Where are the Daltons"? Luke asked. "Their in the guest house still sleeping. Why do you ask"? Robin questioned. "I wanted to talk to you about denying them sanctuary". Luke said. Robin looked at Luke her eyes softening and showing regret. "I can't let you take them unfortunately at least not yet". Robin said. "I know Renee told me about the deal". Luke said. "Luke I understand that this must be very confusing and frustrating for you but I'm just trying to find my son". Robin said. "How can you be sure its me though"? Luke asked. " I don't know and that's what's frustrating. My heart keeps telling me your the one but I have to be realistic with the chance that you could not be my son". Robin said. "Well we need to figure out something. I can't just let the Daltons run around freely to do whatever they please". Luke said. A nearby father clock chimed grabbing the attention of Robin and Luke. "I think I might have an idea". Robin said. Moments later Robin and Luke were back upstairs each with a few pieces of paper, quill, and bottle of ink in their position. "Renee told me about you being an orphan. I don't know if you wanted that information out but I thought that we could write down parts of our lives. For me I'll write down the day I lost my baby". Robin said. "And I write the day I was found"? Luke asked. "Correct, with our stories we can determine if they match up or not thus proving whether or not your my son". Robin answered. "And we'll be in separate rooms so nobody cheats". Luke said. "Yes, Renee will read our stories after we're finished". Robin said. And with that the two entered their respected rooms and began writing. Downstairs the Daltons had joined Renee in waiting to see if they had truly found Robin's son. Even Rantanplan and Jolly Jumper came along though Jolly could only observe through an opened window. An hour or so passed before Luke came downstairs. He handed his paper to Renee before sitting down on a wooden stool next to the window Jolly Jumper was viewing from. "He's more shaky than a bald cat in winter". Jolly said concerned for his human friend. "Cat where"? Asked Rantanplan. A few moments later Robin came downstairs handing her paper to Renee. Soon the Daltons, Lucky Luke, and Robin found themselves sitting around Renee eager to hear the results. " I hope she's gonna read us a fairy tale I always like those". Averell said. "Shh, she's starting". William said hushing his brother. Renee grabbed Robin's paper first and began reading. Robin and Renee were traveling with a small caravan on its way to California. Two months prior Robin had given birth to her son and her relatives living in San Francisco were eager to see the newest member of the Kingery family. The path they were on was very bumpy from the many rocks that laid about. This in turn woke up Robin's infant son who had previously been sleeping. Robin did her best to calm down her baby eventually managing to do so though the peace didn't last for long as the wagon she was in ran over another bump in the road. "Are you sure there isn't another path we can take? This path seems a tad to bumpy". Robin said. "Sorry Mrs. Kingery but this is the only path that can get us safely past the Indian territories". Said the Wagon driver. "Well are there at least any towns nearby? The baby really needs his nap plus he's probably getting hungry". Robin said. Renee sat next to Robin as she brought out the map. "Strange, there doesn't appear to be any settlements on or around the path we're on. Are you sure this map your brother gave you is legitimate"? Renee asked. "It should be he's taken this path many times to map out the plans for his next project". Robin said. They continued down the path. Along the way one of the two accompanying caravan guards noted the high number of coyotes in the area. "Better pull out your pistols boys these coyotes might be a problem if they start getting to close". The driver said as he readied his weapon. The small group kept their eyes peeled as they continued on ready to scare off any varmint that thought to go after their group. However the wildlife wasn't their only problem as a band of men mounted on horseback started racing towards them from the back. The caravan driver pulled to the side thinking that the group behind them just wanted to get by. Unfortunately that wasn't the case as the group began opening fire on the caravan. "Bandits take cover quick"! Shouted the second guard. The driver quickly handed the reigns  to Renee before jumping off. "You need to get you, your friend, and the baby to safety. Just keep following the road and whatever you do don't stop for anything"! The driver commanded. Renee gave a firm nod on agreement before ordering the horse to continue on. The wagon jolted up and down as they made their raced down the path. Robin clung to her baby for dear life while also grabbing the side of the covered wagon in order to prevent themselves from being thrown about the wagon. The bandits were soon catching up again though it appeared that there were fewer of them this time. "Robin try tossing some of the stuff back there maybe we can try slowing those varmints down". Renee said. Robin did just that as she managed to push out a large wooden chest that exploded into pieces as it made contact with the grown. Robin managed to toss out smaller items before the bandits began opening fire. The baby wailed as Robin took cover. One of the bandits pulled out a bow and arrow. They sit the tip of the arrow on fire before launching it. The flaming arrow hit the back of the wagon setting the covered part a blaze. Robin quickly made her way to the front of the wagon as the flames made their way forward. Renee hopped onto the horse pulling the wagon. "Robin over here quickly"! Renee called out. Robin reached the outer front of the wagon. Renee reached her hand out to help her friend and the baby onto the horse. Maintaining her balanced Robin reached out her one free hand towards Renee. Then the wagon ran over a huge rock and Robin was sent flying. Time seemed to slow down as Robin was airborne. She held her son close to her chest and tightened herself into a ball to protect her baby from the impact. Time sped up again as Robin violently slammed into the ground. The force caused Robin to bounce off and be airborne once more but this time for not as long. The back of Robin's head impacted with the ground and she lost conscious right then and there. "H..Hey I think she's waking up"! Came a voice. Light began to enter robin's vision as she slowly gained conscious. Blurry figures soon became recognizable faces as the images began to clear. The first person Robin could make out was the wagon driver followed by Renee and the two guards who were badly beaten up. Renee rushed to her friend's side. "Robin stay still your hurt bad". Renee said. Robin looked up to the sky, the sun was no longer in its place instead the moon rose over head signaling nighttime. As she became more focused Robin noticed that they were one bundle short. "W... Where is the baby"? Robin asked weakly. Renee and the others looked to each other in hesitation. "Renee where is my baby"? Robin said in a demanding tone that was very unlike her. The driver spoke up first. "I'm sorry Mrs. Kingery but we only managed to find you the others looked around but they couldn't find anything". The drives said regretfully. "No"! Robin shouted as she fought to stand up. "Mrs. Kingery please lay back down"! The driver cried out. Robin got to her feet limping towards the horse. "Robin I know your worried but please stop you're to injured to go off searching"! Renee pleaded as she placed her hand on Robin's shoulder. Robin pushed the hand  of her dear friend away as she mounted the horse. "My son could still be out there I can't just leave him to who knows what. I have to find him even at the cost of my own life". Robin said before signaling the horse to take off. Robin could here Renee call out her name but the voice faded as Robin galloped into the night. Robin's side burned as she followed the path of where she last saw the wagon. She pushed the pain down as she focused more on finding her son. When she finally found the wagon it was a wreck, the clothes and other items laid strewn about  the path leading up to the half burnt out wagon. Several coyotes circled around the husk. Robin pulled out her firearm and shot into the sky successfully scaring off the wild beast. Robin immediately jumped off the horse and began searching through the wreckage. She turned over every rock and looked into every nook and cranny. Some how Robin even managed to push the wagon in order to see if her son had somehow ended up underneath but nothing. She looked around the surrounding area for any signs of tracks thinking that maybe someone took her boy but any tracks that passed by were completely erased by the wind. Pain quickly gripped Robin as she let out a cry of pain while holding her side. She fell to her hands and knees. Robin listened in to her surroundings hoping, praying to hear the cry of a baby but all she could hear was the chirping of crickets. Robin soon fell onto her back looking up into a beautiful starry sky which seemed to mock her with its beauty and stars clustered into their own little families. Hoof steps could be heard as Renee rode up to the wreckage. She spotted her friend sitting on a crate crying. Renee quickly ran up to her friend embracing the other in a hug.  "I'm sorry, Robin I'm so sorry". Renee said now joining Robin in the tears. Robin cried out more and louder then before, but not from her physical injuries. No there was a pain that hurt much more and ran deeper then any physical wound could ever do.  Robin had lost her baby. Back in the current time Renee finished reading Robin's story. The Daltons sat by crying as Renee finished Robin's peice. "Th..That's just so sad"! Averell cried. "She just lost her kid just like that"! Joe bawled. Robin wiped a tear from her eye as memories of that day played in her head. Renee looked up to Luke. Luke sat there pale as a ghost. "Mr. Luke are you alright"? Renee asked. Renee approached Luke who did not respond. As Renee got closer she noticed Luke mouthing something. "R-E-A-D I-T". Seemed to be what Luke was saying. Renee returned to the desk grabbing Luke's paper. In his head Luke read what he had written down his thoughts following Renee's lips as she began to read. "I was found by a cowboy named Sam outside the town of Nothing Gulch sometime during the day. He found me not far from a burnt out wagon. Luckily Sam found me at the nick of time as the wagon was being eyed by hungry coyotes". The room became nothing but an echo of gasp as the realization of Luke's story sunk into their heads. The stories matched.

[lukin08]

The Heart of the Matter- Chapter 1

Based off this adoption drabble here

A/N: Before we start, you should know that this is only happening because of @kristoffxannafanatic.  I loved this idea, but didn’t know what to do with it.  She came up with a whole story line I couldn’t resist and answered the “What comes next?” from the original drabble.  And guess what?  This chapter is hers.  I only edited it and made some updates (with her approval) and I think she did a wonderful job setting up the story.  Hope you enjoy this!

Rating: T (for talk of adoption and minor swearing)

Words: ~2300

Master Post

Uncomplicated.

That is the word Kristoff Bjorgman would use to describe himself.  He didn’t crave danger or drama. The only excitement he found exhilarating was playing hockey or watching it with his brother.  He liked a job well done, being alone and hiking in the trails in the state parks.  A vacation for him was roughing it with a tent and minimal supplies as far away from anyone as he could get.  The only thing he considered mildly interesting about himself was his background. With the exception of being adopted as a baby and having a different last name than his family, he would say he was the most boring person alive.

He was never interested in who his birth parents were, never looked up the meaning of the name Bjorgman or questioned his linage because he had no plans on having a family of his own.  Whatever was part of Kristoff that had made him so unwanted was best to let die with him.

He didn’t believe in most kinds of love anyway.  The concept was a fairy tale with stories of true love and happily ever after.  But what came after that?  In most cases, at least those he observed, it only lead to broken promises and heart ache.  Kristoff was perfectly content with his parents, Bulda and Cliff and his older brother, Sven.  He shared a bond with Sven, both orphaned and taken in by the most wonderful people that dared to love the undesired.  That love was unconditional and hard work.  That love he accepted.  

Kristoff was slow paced, calm and always thought everything through.  Never a leap before you think kind of person until…

The day Anna Arendelle came crashing into it.

Anna was everything Kristoff was never attracted to in other girls.  He dated, but it was always with women who were never serious about a relationship. Lovely girls, but like Kristoff, it was always more of a physical attraction and they would let the relationship fizzle out with both parties happy to go their own ways.

Anna was high energy, bubbly, passionate, happy and definitely a leap before you look type of person. She annoyed Kristoff beyond belief at first and quickly had him at his wits end.  But there was something about Anna that wouldn’t leave him alone. He couldn’t stop thinking about the feisty redhead no matter how hard he tried.  It drove him crazy because she was the opposite of everything he was or thought he wanted.  Kristoff resisted his attraction for weeks but there was no use.  He needed to get to know her.

He stumbled over his words when he asked her out, convinced she would try not to laugh at him and find a polite way to turn him down.  But when he looked down at her he was met with an excited face and exuberant ‘of course!’ From that moment on, he never looked back.  Kristoff’s life went from black and white to Technicolor.

Anna made him the happiest man alive. She introduced him to a life full of new and exciting experiences. She made him want to try everything and he found himself opening up more and more each day.  She also seemed fascinated with what he had to say and think.  Maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t as boring as he once thought.  With her, he pictured a life full of fun, adventure and a family of their own.

His mom couldn’t stop hugging Anna when they announced their engagement to his parents.  His dad told him how proud he was and Sven said he knew Kristoff had it in him and reminded him that he was one lucky guy to have found someone like Anna.  Then Bulda swept him up again into a tight embrace, amazingly strong for such a small woman.  She had always told him love would find him if he let it and he was grateful now that all his eye rolls and denials had been so wrong.

Anna loved being so welcomed into Kristoff’s family.  Her parents had died when she was a teenager and her sister lived so far away and it was so lonely all the time.  Kristoff’s family gave her back that sense of belonging.  Bulda was there for every part of planning the wedding, offering support and a motherly hand.  She was invited to every family dinner and holiday, with or without Kristoff, his mom would kid.  His family were the first ones there to help carry boxes in when Kristoff and Anna moved into their home.  Their love for her was unconditional.

Anna always knew Kristoff was adopted.  It was a conversation that had come up early in their relationship.  Anna understood how Kristoff felt about it, how he was happy with the family he had.  As much as she was curious about his background, she respected how he felt and didn’t push him to find out more.  But when they began to discuss trying to get pregnant, Anna’s curiosity got the best of her.  She started to ask Kristoff if he was interested in finding out who his birth parents were.  It seemed a natural part of the conversation.  Kristoff would listen to her talk, but always managed to change the subject whenever she pressed him more.  Eventually she let it drop.  

It wasn’t until Anna was 4 months pregnant that the subject came up again.  They were lying in bed and Kristoff was rubbing Anna’s small baby bump and singing to their baby.

“Are you scared?” Anna asked.

Kristoff stopped his singing.  “I’m terrified… you?”

Anna raised her arms up. “Of course I am!  We’re going to be responsible for a little human being! It’s amazing I can even take care of myself and now we have to keep a very small, very tiny person alive.”

Kristoff let out a belly laugh. “Stop! You’re going to be a great mom.”

Anna knew this was the perfect chance to bring up the subject again. Making sure to use all of her beguiling charms, she smiled wryly at him. “Kris, I think you’re going to be a natural at this.  Just you wait.”

He knew what she was up to. She only called him Kris when she was being seductive or wanted something. “The jury is still out on that.  I know what kind of dad Cliff is and I can only hope to be a fraction as good as him. But as far as natural… that will always be a mystery.”

“Maybe it doesn’t have to be.”

“Anna-“

“Don’t you want to know?”

Kristoff shrugged.  “They haven’t tried to find me. Why should I find them?”

Anna couldn’t believe his lack of interest. “What if they couldn’t?  What if it was an unavoidable decision and they are afraid to interfere in your life? What if it was a hard, sad decision they had to make and are waiting for you to be ready to reach out?”

He gave a grumbled “Hmph” and laid his head down on the pillow.

Anna wasn’t going to give up that easy.  She rolled over on her side, hooking and arm around his waist.  “Well, what if we do just the nationality portion of the DNA test? You don’t have to share it with anyone, but I think it could give us some useful information.  Then you’ll know your background!”

“We’ve already figured from my name that I’m of some Scandinavian country. Isn’t that enough?”

“That is only part of who you are.  And you have two parents.  That doesn’t mean that’s all there is to know.”

Kristoff rubbed his eyes with his plam.  “You’re not going to let this go, are you?”

Anna lifted her head and gave him that smug look she always gave when she won an argument. “Nope.”

“Ugh.  I swear one day you’re going to be the death of me.”

Anna’s face turned serious. “Kris, it isn’t just for you but our daughter. You want what’s best for her don’t you?  This information will help her.  It’s something she should know.”

Kristoff quirked an eyebrow at her.  “A daughter?  Is there something you haven’t told me or an appointment I missed?”

Anna’s grin was back. “Nope.  I just know.”

Kristoff gave her that sexy growl Anna loved so much and he pulled her closer to him.  He started kissing her collarbone and slowly worked he way up her neck and along her jaw on his way up to her smug smile and kissed her deeply. He pulled his head back and looked at her.  “Okay. For the baby.  But only the nationality test.”

Anna returned his kiss with passion.  When they broke apart, she moved her lips to his ear and whispered.  ”You won’t regret it, Kris.”

“I’m going to hold you to that, babe.”  Kristoff titled Anna’s head back so he could kiss her again.

 Alexandra Elsa Bjorgman was born at 7:19 am weighing in at 7lbs 2oz and 19 inches long.

Kristoff cried the moment she was placed in his arms. He couldn’t believe how in love he was with her. She was only a few minutes old, how could he be so wrapped around her little finger already? He knew he was going to do everything in his power to be a great father.

That included accepting who he was by answering the email sent by his maternal aunt who found him from the DNA website database.  

It was easy to miss.  A tiny checkbox on the profile page you had to set up in order to get your DNA results. Anna hadn’t caught it and that small overlook made Kristoff’s results public.  It was how his aunt found him and it opened up a world of information.

His aunt’s name was Kathleen and she told him his mother’s name was Samantha. She had promised Samantha years ago before she died, that she would find him one day and tell him how much his mother loved him.  His aunt also had an unmatched drive for Kristoff to know what an amazing woman his mother was.  

As much as his mother wanted to keep him, she wanted what was best for her baby.  And what was best for him was giving him a family who could love and provide for him.  Her only request was for him to keep his first name because he was named after his grandfather who was willing to support his daughter even if she decided she wanted to keep her baby.  When Kristoff told his aunt his parents had also kept his last name that was on his original birth certificate, she was stunned.  It was a few days before she was able to email him back, telling him to thank his parents and that it would have meant so much to Samantha.

At first Kristoff was reluctant to tell Kathleen about Alex.  His mom encouraged him to share that with his aunt, but Kristoff still resisted.  It was Anna’s guidance that got him to change his mind.  “She’s family,” Anna said simply.  Kristoff relented and told Kathleen one of the reasons he was open to meeting his biological family was because he and his wife had just had a baby and he wanted to be able to share everything with her. He sent the email and attached a few pictures of Alex and a picture of the three of them for her to see.

Kathleen was overjoyed to be able to tell her sister’s story.  She said Samantha was so loving, caring and gentle. She had hoped that someday Kristoff would try to find out who his mother was and she had so much to share.  She told Kristoff that his grandparents had come from Norway and that Kathleen and Samantha were the first generation of Bjorgmans born in the US.  She told him stories about his grandparents and about the family history and suddenly there was a whole world beyond the data the DNA test had first given him.

He knew his mother had passed away from the beginning.  It was one of the first things Kathleen told him over email as if she was sending him a warning not to get his hopes up.  She had been gone for ten years and he accepted it.  But the more he learned about his mother, the more bittersweet it became.  He had more questions whenever he spoke with Kathleen.  Questions that she couldn’t answer and his mother held all the answers to. Kristoff found himself wondering what mundane thing he had been doing when he was eighteen on the day she died.

Kristoff asked about his father but his aunt, after some reluctance, admitted she didn’t know who he was. Samantha never told her, only saying once that he left as soon as she told him she was pregnant.  Kristoff could sense the bitterness in his aunt, so he dropped the subject. He had already found out so much and was surprised at how happy and fulfilled it made him.  It was enough for him.  He had a history that he could share with his daughter.  If Kathleen didn’t have the answers, the rest was a dead end anyway. And besides, he shouldn’t be wasting his thoughts on someone who clearly wanted no part of him.

Kathleen began sending random packages with pictures of Samantha, Kathleen, his grandparents- anything that she would come across.  He finally had a face to put to part of who he was.  Anna cried when she first saw a picture of Samantha, telling Kristoff how beautiful she was and how there was an uncanny resemblance between her and Alexandra.  Kristoff was happy to store these treasures away for Alex but there was a nagging question that he couldn’t shake.  Who was his father and did the son of a bitch leave a young woman in a bad situation without remorse?

[elanorjane]

Teacup Redux (Ch 2/?)

Summary:  Rumpelstiltskin trains half-sisters Regina and Zelena in order to cast the curse that will reunite him with his son. In the meantime, he gains a young maid. When he and Belle fall in love and have a son, Rumple calls off the curse. But the two sisters, feeling betrayed, cast the curse anyway, separating true love and raising Gideon themselves. In Storybrooke, a ten year old Gideon gets a book from a pretty librarian and he begins to suspect there’s something magical about his town.

AO3

Storybrooke, Maine

“And they lived happily ever after. The end.”

Gideon, lingering in the stacks, heard the librarian snap the book shut. Another storytime has drawn to a close. He listened the the rustle of adults struggling to climb up off the floor. Children, no longer being shushed by their parents, began to cry to attention.. Kids scattered around the children’s section yanking picture books off the shelves. At ten, Gideon was much too old for Storytime, but secretly he still enjoyed it. He liked the stories the librarian chose. The knights were always brave, the dragons fierce, and the good guys always won. Most of all, he liked the way she read. He like to curl up in the corner of the shelves and let the sing-songy lilt of her accent wash over him. It was very calming to him. So he always came to the library around storytime. He'd crouch down in the graphic novel or nonfiction section so he could overhear her tell her story.

“Gideon!” she greeted when he emerged from his hiding spot. If she noticed that his visits always overlapped with storytime, she didn’t let on.

“Hello, Miss French.” His Aunt Regina had ingrained in him to be respectful to his elders. So he called her "Miss French" even though she had told him many times that he could call her Belle.

Belle - he allowed himself to call her that in his head at least, like they were friends - gave him a warm smile. She always gave the warmest smiles. She was nice to everyone, but he liked to pretend that her kindest smiles were reserved just for him. He knew some people in town were only nice to him because he was the Mayor’s nephew, but he hoped Belle wasn’t one of them. Her kindness towards him seemed sincere anyway.  

He especially appreciated being around Belle because his Aunt Regina didn’t smile a lot. She did sometimes, but mostly when she was angry, which wasn’t a real smile and didn’t count. His Aunt Zelena smiled a lot, but they never felt genuine either. She was always trying too hard to be the ‘fun’ aunt. It was as if his love was never enough for her. Or like she was in some sort of competition with the rest of the town to make sure Gideon liked her best.

But it wasn’t a competition. Of course he loved them. They were the only family he had. But he couldn’t help but think sometimes, to himself, about what it would have been like to be raised by his mother and father. Other times, he wondered whether his Aunt Regina and Aunt Zelena were his aunts at all. They never talked about his parents. A ‘terrible accident’ was all they ever told him, and then they’d change the subject.   

Belle clutched the picture book she’d just been reading to the kids to her chest. “Did I ever tell you Gideon is the name of the character in my favorite book?”

He shook his head, eager to hear more. The idea of his name having special meaning to her thrilled him.

“It’s called Her Handsome Hero. My mother read it to be when I was young. It’s what made me fall in love with books. I still remember my favorite line.” She looked off in the distance, reciting, “‘But Gideon was unafraid. He drew his sword and turned to face the evil Sorcerer, ready to save the people he loved.’” Her focus returned to Gideon. “It’s about compassion and forgiveness.”  

He was intrigued, and surprised he hadn’t read it yet. He’d read every book in the library that Belle recommended to him. Also a few others he’d overheard her suggesting to other patrons. “Do you have it?”

Belle’s smile turned wistful, “No. I lost it somehow. Now it’s out of print and I can’t find any available copies.”

Gideon deflated a little. It was just as well. Gideon the brave. That wasn’t him. He could barely stand up to the bullies in his school. He wasn’t the hero from her book.  

“Although,” Belle perked up, “I got a new book you might be interested in.” He dodged some unattended toddlers and followed her to the circulation desk. She slid a large, old volume out from behind the desk and presented it to him. “Well, it’s not exactly new. Sometimes the best book has the dustiest jacket,” she laughed, brushing the cover. “I found it on the shelf this morning. I’d never noticed it before, but there it was! I must have walked past it thousands of times!” It was brown with gold lettering, Once Upon a Time.

Gideon was dubious and it must have shown on his face.

“Now I know you’re too old for fairy tales,” she spoke before he could say anything. “But I also know you like adventure stories, and I think this has some good ones in it,” she told him conspiratorially. She leaned her elbows on the counter, getting lost in her own words.“They’re stories about hope. And happy endings being something you never expected. And when you find something that's worth fighting for, you never give up.”  She spoke the last bit with great conviction.

This is how Belle was. You’d come in complaining about a book they were making you read in school and she’d make you see the good in it. Gideon couldn’t help but be intrigued. “Can...can I borrow this?”

“Of course,” she straightened.   

“I’ll return it promptly,” he promised.  

She shook her head, “No due date for my best patron,” and grinned at him. She turned away from him and busied herself at the desk, talking to other patrons and scanning the books they brought to the desk to borrow.

Gideon slid away from the desk and sat down at the nearest table with the book. He flipped through the browned pages randomly. He landed on Beauty and the Beast. The illustration opposite the story was of Beauty in a yellow ball gown with a head of tight brown ringlets. She was being led away by a man with scaly skin and feathers on his coat. He had a self-satisfied smirk on his face. Beauty had a look of grim determination.  

Gideon squinted at the depiction. It wasn’t just the brown hair. He knew lots of people had brown hair. He also knew plenty of people with blue eyes. But he could swear… “Miss French!” he blurted.

“Hmm?” she looked up from the book she was stamping.

“You’re in here,” he blurted, pointing to the page.  

She smiled indulgently, “I am?” She came around the desk and peered over his shoulder.

He felt stupid now, but he pointed at the image of Beauty anyway. It did look like Miss French.

“Hmmm,” she mused, continuing to humor him. “I wonder where my Beast is?”

[shewhowantsmouseears]

The Son Of Scheherazade, 1

Notes: As always, big thanks to my wonderful editors Drucilla and Blueshifted - who helped with Pete's evil motivations and taught me the word Sultana!

This is a project I've held on dearly for years,so I hope you all enjoy it! Like all my previous works where Mickey has folks, his parents are made up characters, so imagine away! Do you think you know the story of Scheherazade? Not to mention all the other mysteries I'm going to pepper throughout this sandy tale...

For the curious, the Sultan's name means "Heart-broken" , Pete's last name means "Cat", and the Kingdom's name is "Mouse" in Arabic! Thank you, google translations!

Story Summary: In another Disney AU twist of tales, Prince Mickey is the son of the most famous storyteller in the world. But when his beloved parents are kidnapped by dark forces, he'll learn that not all fables are falsehoods, and it's time to begin his own story!

Chapter Summary: There was once a young prince who had more riches than he knew what to do with. But he did know he'd never be anything more than a reflection of his mother. Was there no one in the world who could see him for who, not what, he was?

Once upon a time – that's an odd way to start a story, isn't it? How do you decide where “once” took place? Is it when the action bursts forth? Is it when love enters the scene? That brings forth another question – if you're talking about someone else's story, where in their life do you pick up? Maybe it's just when their normal life was disrupted and the changes began. Yes, perhaps this will do. But who am I to define such qualifications?

Maybe you've heard of me. Maybe you haven't. It doesn't matter. The important thing is this is a story about a boy who took hold of his own destiny. I'd like to think sharing his epic journey will help those seeking their own place in life... or at the very least, bring entertainment to those who desire it. Isn't that the job of all good stories?

But in order to properly tell you this tale, it might be best if I start over. Let's skip that 'once upon a time' nonsense, and I promise to keep all bias out. This story begins one day before the boy's eighteenth birthday. That boy is prince Mickey of the Rao Kingdom.

~*~

On that morning, the day before he was to become an “official man”, as his father insisted, Mickey was awake before the sun was up. He wasn't feeling particularly lazy, but he was in no hurry to get up either. He stared at his ceiling, which was a large mural depicting several stories that his mother had told. He faintly remembered being a young child and being asked what stories he wanted shown up on the ceiling, and he had shouted “Sinbad, Sinbad, I wanna see Sinbad!”

So there was Sinbad, the famous sailor and hero fighting an array of villains – a monstrous kraken, undead creatures of the night, and rival pirates trying to steal his bounty. Treasure laid at his feet, and he was apparently saving some beautiful women from utmost disaster, his sword thrust out in his hand, a winning grin across his face. Every night before Mickey went to bed, his mother would come and tell him more stories of the sensational Sinbad, and Mickey would stare up at the ceiling, imagining that the painting was coming to life and acting out his mother's words. Tonight she'd do the same thing, and this made Mickey frown.

He was almost an official man, and official men didn't have their mommies telling them bedtime stories. It was time to grow up and leave the world of fairy tales behind. Mickey wasn't exactly sure how one did that, however – how you just snapped your fingers and went from being a child to a man. He didn't feel any different than he did a year ago or the year before that, and he doubted he would feel changed tomorrow. The only idea he could come up with was leaving the childish fantasies back in the past where they belonged. Maybe he could order the councilor, Pete Qut, to paint over it in white – no, black, black was the color of grown-ups! Sure, he would miss the painting, but he'd get over it, surely.

Maybe then Pete would show him actual respect – not the respect to a prince or the son of the world's most famous storyteller, but because he was Mickey. Just Mickey.

Traces of sunlight began to filter into the room, and Mickey slid out of bed. He needed to bathe and change before he could have breakfast with his parents, but first, as with many mornings, he went to the balcony and pushed aside the billowing curtains. From his room, he could see the furthest reaches of Rao, and spotted specks that he knew to be villagers ready to start their day.

He smiled as he watched them, enjoying the scene of a passing stranger assisting an elderly woman with her wagon. Children were running about before their elders would yank them to their classes. Warm greetings floated on the soft wind. Mickey loved the people here, and he loved all of Rao very deeply. It was often why he ran away from home to be among them, as he planned to do after breakfast.

After he bathed and put on his freshest robes, he walked out into the hallway, passing servants who bowed once they saw him.

“Good morning, son of Scheherazade.”

“Highest of blessings unto you, son of Scheherazade.”

“May tomorrow bring you nothing but joy, son of Scheherazade.”

“Good morning,” Mickey replied each time, his once strong smile weakening with every greeting. They meant no harm, but gosh that got annoying over seventeen years. Living in a gigantic palace that had almost ten servants to every room meant that every hour on the hour Mickey was constantly reminded of who he was and why he was so important to them – as if he needed to be reminded! There were days he nearly forgot his own name, he heard it so little.

With an inward sigh, he approached the dining hall, knocking on the big blue doors twice before walking inside. “Morning, everyone...” He braced himself, biting his lower lip.

“Good morning, son of Scheherazade!” A choir of no less than twenty servants replied, as well as the councilor. His parents had already started eating, and Pete was between them, going over notes on a flaky scroll. Mickey quickly walked to his chair, and as he passed each servant they continued to tell him the same things he'd heard year after year after year -

“Your new robes shall be finished by tomorrow, son of Scheherazade!”

“Shall we replace your linens? Yes, excellent, wise choice, son of Scheherazade!”

“We've prepared nothing but the best for your meals today, son of Scheherazade!”

Mickey was tempted to stick his fingers in his ears to try and drown it all out. He managed to climb into his chair and bowed his head respectfully to his parents. “So, uh,” he began a little nervously, unsure how to approach the subject in his head. “Tomorrow's the big day, is it?”

“Tomorrow?” his father mused, Sultan Muhtim Algalb of Rao – often shortened to just Al – stroking his long black beard. He was a tall man, tall in everything – long arms and legs, a long neck with a long face, and even his beard was long, reaching all the way down to his stomach. Mickey was the exact opposite – short in everything, with short arms and legs, short neck, short face, and any attempts to grow a beard were short-lived. “What's so special about tomorrow?” the Sultan joked, rapping his fingers on the table and turning to his wife. “Most beloved, can you think of anything that occurs tomorrow?”

“Nothing comes to mind, my sweetest,” Sultana Scheherazade was beautiful, with dark eyes that drew in all that looked at her, and wavy night-dark hair that rolled past her shoulders. Her every move was elegance, her every word a poem. Mickey remembered his mother once saying she had a face for stories – that her hair was like a curtain, pulling back for a stage, and her lips were the actors. The play today was “Teasing Our Boy”. “I wonder whatever he could be talking about, my sun on the brightest day.”

Mickey rolled his eyes, hoping this teasing wouldn't go on for too long – or the flirting. “Are you two ever going to stop acting like newlyweds?”

“It's easy to criticize when you don't understand!” Al laughed, reaching over to ruffle his head between Mickey's ears. Mickey was fond of the gesture but put on a pout – official men shouldn't enjoy snuggles from daddy. “One day, you'll find your special someone, and you'll moon over her the same way I moon over your mother!” Mickey doubted this, he hoped he'd sooner step in camel dung. Him giving lovey-dovey petnames to some woman – that'd be the day! But such comments would sound childish and he kept his mouth shut, allowing Al to laugh again and then slap Pete on the back. “Say, Pete! Would perhaps you know what's so special about tomorrow?”

Pete wasn't enjoying this back-and-forth any more than Mickey, although he had his own reasons. 'Councilor' was really only a title – no one needed to advise the wise Sultana, and the Sultan always took his advice from the Sultana, so in reality Pete was more of a bookkeeper and babysitter. He didn't want to be roped into the game, so he grumbled and checked something off his list. “It's the kid's birthday tomorrow, last time I checked. Now, as I was saying about these farmers-”

“I'm not a kid,” Mickey interrupted with a glare, but then fumbled. “I mean, I won't be, tomorrow! Tomorrow I'll be eighteen. Why, I'll be an adult!” He put his hands on his hips, hoping to instill some authority between him and Pete, but Pete just snorted.

“Your birthday!” Al threw his hands up with joy, smacking Pete in the face and ignoring the “OW!” that came with it.. “My son, my one and only son, now he's becoming a man!” Without any warning, he shoved his hands under Mickey's arm and lifted him up, and the Sultan danced around the long wooden table. “My son, the man! The Prince of Rao, one day soon to be Sultan of Rao!”

“Pa, put me down!” Adult men who were to one day be Sultans shouldn't be so easy to lift like rag dolls! “Ma, make him stop!”

Scheherazade had taken up a napkin and was dabbing the corners of her eyes. “No, it can't be already! Why, just yesterday you were in your swaddling clothes... and now, eighteen? I refuse to believe it!”

“Believe it, lady,” Pete growled quietly, rubbing his sore nose. “About these farmers-”

“But it's not just any birthday!” Al went on, putting Mickey down so that his son was standing on the table. “It is the birthday of the son of Scheherazade! This must be celebrated throughout the land! We will have a party that lasts all day and all night!”

“Ma... Please...” Mickey groaned, sitting down on the table, hoping to get some sense into this oddball conversation.

Scheherazade allowed herself a few more sniffles before standing up and lightly touching her husband on the shoulder. “Perhaps we should reel back, dearest. We can't throw an impromptu party whenever we feel like it... Our people need to work, they would all be quite upset if their busy days were suddenly interrupted.”

Al clicked his tongue to his cheek before nodding, reaching over to squeeze the hand on his shoulder. “As always, you see through the dark clouds of my foolishness. Whatever would I do without you, my earth and air, my life and wife?”

“You shall never know, my other half and reason to be.”

His lovesick parents were just about to kiss and Mickey was just about to gag when Pete thrust his scroll in between the smooch. “DO YOU MIND LISTENIN' FOR A COUPLE OF SECONDS?!” he bellowed, his anger bouncing off the walls. He was one of the very few people who didn't bend over backwards to praise the royal family, mostly because he didn't see anything praiseworthy about them. He yanked the scroll back, pointing hard at his lines. “You gave the farmers twice the land they asked for! That's going to double the amount of money they'll need from our – er, your treasury!”

Scheherazade took the scroll from Pete to read it over before giving it an affirmative nod. “Yes, we did. It was to make up for the terrible loss in crops last year. It's hardly their fault we had such awful growth. Besides, we have more money than we know what to do with. The best way to spend it is on our people.”

Pete huffed, crossing his arms. “Aw, who cares about a bunch of peasants? If they were so great, they'd have their own treasury! The more you give them, the more comes out of my salary!”

“Which is still more than what 5 villagers combined make in a year,” Mickey quipped, having grabbed his bowl and begun eating his breakfast.

Pete easily turned on Mickey, close to snarling. “And how do you know how much a peasant villager makes?”

“... Uh... ” Mickey paused, food in his mouth, eyes going anywhere for a better answer than the truth. “...Lucky guess?”

Al sighed deeply, crossing his arms as he faced his son. “Have you been sneaking out into the kingdom again? How many times have I warned you against that? It's more than I have hairs in my beard! It's too dangerous out there for a prince!”

“It is not!” Mickey insisted, putting the half empty bowl in his lap. “I like being out there! It's fun! You never let me do anything, you always tell me that son of Scheherazade should need for nothing!” His mother looked guilty, her eyes darting away for a moment. “Well, what about what I want? That's different than a need!”

His parents exchanged silent looks, and for a time Mickey was distracted with envy. Though he certainly didn't want a sappy romance, he did wish he could have a relationship with someone where they could understand each other merely through eye contact. If he wanted a lady love – and this was a pretty big if – he wanted someone who knew him better than anyone else did. But that would mean someone would want him for being something else than the son of Scheherazade, and there was nothing else. Mickey had no amazing stories or dashing adventures to speak of. He was a plain, boring prince.

Al exhaled heavily, waving a hand in an attempt to dismiss Pete. The Councilor only went so far as the doorway, wanting to complain some more about the money he felt the villagers didn't deserve. “All right then,” the Sultan started up again. “What is it that you want? You name it, and you shall have it! You are our son, you can have anything you desire!”

Mickey hesitated. “How is that different than any other day?” Every day he was given the best clothes, the best food, the best toys, the best books, the best of everything. He didn't even have to ask for it, his parents showered him with gifts all the time. It had instilled guilt within Mickey as he had felt he'd done nothing to earn these treasures. His was a story with no words on the pages. He'd never done anything exciting, anything worthy to be hailed over, and the closest he'd ever come to having anything remarkable in his life was...

… was something he didn't care to think about. He rubbed the scar on his neck, one that was hidden by his fur, a habit whenever he was nervous. “What I want is to be treated like an official man. I want to be a real adult. So the only thing I'm asking for on my birthday is...” He drew a breath, still reluctant about the idea but knowing he had to go through with it, “... is to get rid of the mural on my ceiling.”

“Of Sinbad?” His mother balked, a hand to her heart. “Are you serious? You love his stories! You said you wanted to be just like him when you grew up!”

“Well, I'm grown-up now. Or I will be, tomorrow.” Putting the bowl aside, Mickey hopped off the table. “And it's time I put these made-up stories away. I can't go on believing in magic and pirates and bad guys that want to take over the world.” He looked back and forth between his parents, mustering up a stern look he had practiced in his bedroom mirror. “Starting tomorrow, no more stories, and no more Sinbad. That is all I want for my birthday. Understand?”

He expected his mother to look heartbroken, and perhaps for his father to be angry. It wasn't easy for their parents to have their children thrust the demands of adulthood in their faces. Yet these weren't the faces of disappointment. Al was sucking onside of his check, his fingers knotting together nervously. Scheherazade was chewing on her lower lip, and she had a hand to her chin, as if mentally debating a serious matter. Pensive, that was the word Mickey decided on, even though he couldn't understand why they'd be like that over this simple matter.

Whatever was in their heads wasn't in Pete's, he was bored by the entire talk. He didn't care if Mickey was treated as an adult or a child, because in the end he'd still get the royal treatment. The constant adoration in the family aggravated him to no end. The brat got everything for doing nothing, whereas Pete had to work for every single scrap of food he'd ever eaten. It was Pete's bad fortune to have poor parents. Now here he was, a combination of difficult effort and pity, living the high life in the palace while these lovebirds frittered away their coins on people who clearly never worked as hard as Pete did. Not that Pete ever checked such matters – his worldview consisted of “me, myself, and I.” Now that he had his, he didn't care if anyone got theirs.

The Sultana came to a decision, a thumb to her lip, trying to resist the urge to bite her decorated nail. “Tomorrow... yes, lots of things will happen tomorrow. If you still want your wish granted by the end of that day, then it shall be so. If that is what will make you happy... and you know that is what we desire most of all.”

At this Mickey finally relaxed, and his little smile returned. He hadn't thought either of them would say no to his wish, and he bowed graciously. “Thank you.”

Al cleared his throat then, suddenly uncomfortable. “Tomorrow is tomorrow, today is today, and today you need to go to your lessons. Councilor, escort the prince.”

“But what about my money? … Your money?” Pete tried again, but the Sultan held up a flat hand, signaling the end of the discussion. He grumbled in his throat, opening the door for Mickey to confidently walk through. “Yeah, yeah, gods forbid we keep our treasure in the treasury, let's just hand it out to every dirty hand that reaches out...” he continued to mutter even when he left the room.

Once they were alone, Scheherazade picked up Mickey's bowl, silently staring into it. Al approached her, his arms out. “You don't have to tell him tomorrow... why, you never have to tell him at all! No one need ever know the truth about your stories!”

“No,” she lightly protested, putting the bowl back down. “It's time he knew... It's time the entire kingdom knew. Even if it means my cherished son thinks differently, he deserves the truth. And tomorrow, he will know everything.”

Al's gentle arms came around his wife's waist. “No matter what, he will always be our son. He will always love you, no matter what you tell him.”

She smiled and leaned on his chest, closing her eyes to take in his warmth. She didn't want to expose her secrets – until she met the Sultan, she had thought she would carry them to her grave. But like any good story, there had been twists and turns that made her rethink her values. When she married her one true love, she wanted him to have all of her, including the things she'd hidden. When Mickey was born, she felt another sense of love wash over her, and she wanted to tell him when he was old enough to understand. Eighteen... an official man... There would be no better time.

Al rubbed her shoulders, trying to perk the conversation back up. “Come. Let's work on our gifts. There's plenty more to do.” He took her by the wrist and pulled her along, trying to delay the uncomfortable business as long as possible. His wife obliged – yes, if there was an option to concentrate on more joyful things, of course she'd jump at it.

The Sultan and his wife loved each other very much, and they loved their son just as deeply, and they loved their idyllic family life – if only things could stay that way forever.

~*~

Mickey had no intention of going to his lessons, and Pete knew this. The cat was checking around for windows and doors that Mickey could run through, any curtains that could be used as ropes, any stairs Pete could be made to trip over. He was used to Mickey's tricks, and Mickey could feel Pete's eyes on his back with a hard, intense glare. Mickey wasn't really sure what he'd done to deserve such hate – surely a few sneak away tricks wouldn't cause such deep dislike! But then Pete was always grouchy for one reason or another. He supposed that was why his mother picked Pete as the Councilor, like a pet project, a man she could reform, the same way she had reformed the Sultan.

Mickey then decided if he was an official man-to-be, it would be best if he took charge. In the middle of their walk, Mickey turned around, hands on his hips, puffing out what little he had of a chest . “You know, Pete,” he began, trying to make himself as tall as possible. “You really need to listen to my parents! The treasury is meant to be used however we see fit, and if you've got a problem with our spending, it has to be a bigger problem than us helping people!” Yes, good, that sounded very man-like, full of self-assurance and dignity!

Yet it fell completely flat on Pete, who blinked down at Mickey as if he was nothing more than a bothersome gnat that kept hovering around the same meal. “Maybe it's high-time you learned that helping people helps no one! They'll just depend on you forever for every problem! Do you want to spend the rest of your life helping people?”

“...Yes?” What kind of a silly question was that?

Pete, he of a dark mind and selfish heart, hadn't expected that response. “I don't get you people at all,” he huffed, poking his stubby finger into Mickeys big black nose. “You have all the riches in the world, all the power, but you waste it on every crybaby you pass by! It's a dog-eat-dog world out there! If I was the Sultan, you'd never see me throwing good money to anybody who just asked for it!” Pete would spend it wisely - Fancy clothes, fancy food, fancy girls, it'd be nothing but fanciness for the rest of his life, and who cared what happened outside of the palace? If they didn't work hard enough to be that rich, that was their own fault. Nobody helped him, so why should he help anyone else? In the end, everyone only cared about themselves. Anyone who thought otherwise was a pushover that deserved to be pushed. Maybe he could build a big wall to block everyone else out. He'd dreamed about this scenario far too many times.

Mickey roughly shoved Pete's hand away from his face. “Good thing you're not Sultan, in that case!”

Then came a second surprise. Mickey expected Pete to sneer and huff and puff and whine all about how unfair it was that the royal family was so nice, and indeed, Pete was slowly moving his jaw around, looking ready to go into his standard spiel about poor people deserved to be poor and other nonsense. But instead of going into the tirade, Pete began to smile – not a friendly one, not one that understood the all encompassing love that the royals had, but it was still a happy smile. Like he was imagining some far off fantasy and what happened now didn't truly matter. It sent a chill up Mickey's spine.

“No,” Pete finally said, nodding once. “No, you're right, I ain't the Sultan. And a'course, you're not the Sultan either. Even if you are the big one-eight tomorrow, you're still just the prince. Why not spend the last day of your youth goin' out into the kingdom and having fun?”

“...Huh?” Mickey wasn't sure he heard right. It almost sounded like Pete was encouraging him to run off.

“Come on, skedaddle, while the sun's still out!” Pete waved his hands, chuckling merrily. “Think of it as an early birthday present, from me to you!”

The prince considered that perhaps this was a joke or a prank, but Pete couldn't master subtlety like that. He scratched his head, still puzzled, yet tempted to take up the offer. “Gee...you really mean it?”

“I absolutely mean it!” He then shrugged with one shoulder. “I'll just tell your tutor you got lost, or were busy doing something else... Don't worry about it! You go enjoy your last day being seventeen. Everyone deserves being happy on that day!” He clapped again and again, stepping forward, as if using his body to encourage Mickey to get going.

Mickey was not one to look gift horses in the mouth, nor really consider the consequences of his actions. Perhaps his mother's work was finally getting through to old Pete. A smile began to form, a laugh followed it, and Mickey turned on his tail. “O-Okay!” he shouted through pleased laughter. “Thanks a million, Pete! You're not such a bad guy after! I'll see you later!” Not wanting to risk his luck a second further, Mickey bolted down the hall to the nearest door, kicking his heels in glee.

Pete kept up his lively applause until he could no longer see the young prince. “Yep, that's right, I'm not the Sultan...” Then came that wicked smile of his once more, the one that knew of things that even the so-called wise Sultana was ignorant about. Let the boy have one more day of fun before his life came crumbling down. “...Not yet.”

~*~

Mickey rarely had a plan in mind whenever he flew away to the kingdom outside, save for one place and one person he made sure to visit every single time. He decided to start his day there, and with that he made a beeline for the butcher. He could already hear trouble brewing – a dog was barking, a man was yelling, there was clanking and clamoring. Mickey grinned – his only friend in the world was in trouble again.

He slowed down as he approached the shop, almost missing the blur that dashed out and sped into the nearest alleyway. The butcher came out next, smashing his teeth and waving his knife in the air. “That lousy pain in the butt!” he howled, unaware of who was watching him. “When I catch him, I'll make him into mincemeat! That mangy no good rotten-” His cavalcade of insults stopped abruptly when his eyes fell upon the prince. The butcher faltered, and then bowed deeply, one arm under his chest. “Oh sacred son of Scheherazade! You honor me with your presence!”

Unfortunately that annoying nickname followed Mickey wherever he went. He put his arms behind his back, the picture of innocence. “Is somethin' the matter, old pal?”

That lit the butcher's anger again, and he raised his fists in the air. “It's that thief again! I'll tan his hide and make six sandwiches out of his fat belly!” He exhaled hard, and then eyed his visitor. “Have you seen him?”

Mickey knew exactly where the culprit was. “Nope, can't say that I have.” He lied easily – small fibs were simple if you thought of them as stories. “But if I do, I know right where to send him!” Nowhere near the butcher, that was for sure.

“Of course, of course, you're a very good boy.” The butcher sighed, acknowledging his defeat. “But... it's not a total loss. I have the son of Scheherazade at my doorstep, this must be a sign of luck from the gods.”

“Let's not go nuts here,” Mickey muttered under his breath.

“Here, I'll give you my finest work today!” Not having heard Mickey's remark, the butcher speedily returned to his shop to pull out a gigantic steak. Once it was securely wrapped up, he proudly strode up to Mickey and placed it in his hands. “Please enjoy! Nothing would make me happier than to have my meat be the reason you grow up healthy and strong!”

Mickey began to smile, and sincerely hoped the butcher would leave it at that. “Thanks a lot! Your place is always the best!”

But the butcher didn't leave it at that, no one ever did. “Please give your divine mother my blessings! And I would be overjoyed to see you here again, son of Scheherazade! Your presence always brings cheer to all!”

Mickey's lips still held an upward curve but there was coldness underneath. Any kindness bestowed upon Mickey, be it gifts or idle flattery, was always because of his mother. Mickey didn't bring cheer to anyone. His mother did, and he was nothing more than a reflection of her, a reminder of the amazing things she'd done. That wouldn't end no matter how old he turned. “Yeah... thanks.” His enthusiasm died out, and he made sure to turn away before his face fell. “I'll tell her.”

He heard the butcher wish him well and fondest goodbyes, and once he heard him go back into his shop, Mickey ran to the alleyway, hearing a familiar voice pant heavily. Now Mickey could smile a genuine smile, for this was someone who was always genuine with him. “I told you to stop stealing, you nutjob! I always get something nice for you. You gotta learn some patience, that's what you gotta do!”

His companion walked on all fours out of the shadows, unable to respond – not that any dog could, although Mickey liked to imagine those fervent pants sounded like “Yeah, yeah, yeah!”, always agreeing with what Mickey said. This was a mutt true and true, no purity to its blood, its mangy fur perhaps once proudly gold but now a dusty yellow. His thin black tail wagged with excitement to see his friend, and ignoring the stolen sausage he'd nabbed minutes ago, he jumped onto Mickey and covered him with slobbery kisses.

Mickey collapsed with laughter, hugging the dog tightly. “I missed you too, Pluto!” The first time Mickey had run away, he'd found a little puppy shivering all by its lonesome, hidden under rags that grannies had thrown away. It didn't belong to anyone, or to put it more accurately, no one wanted it. Mickey had instantly taken pity on this creature so much smaller than himself, and after politely asking around in the marketplace for leftover scraps – and instead was given giant baskets of food, being a certain son and all – he had let the pup eat until it could eat no more. The puppy instantly rewarded Mickey with wet licks to his cheek, and in that moment Mickey understood that here was someone who liked him without knowing or understanding where he came from.

He had taken the puppy into his arms and ran straight home, begging his parents to let him keep it – look, he already named it, after one of those lessons from his tutor, please please pretty please-  but they had declined. It could be carrying vermin and disease, and they simply couldn't take risks anymore, not after the day he'd gotten that scar. Mickey had no choice but to let the dog return to the village – but he would visit again, and again, and again, and here they were now, rolling around in the dirt with so much cheer they felt their chests would burst.

Mickey finally managed to push Pluto off, scratching his ears affectionately. “When I become Sultan, you're going to live in the palace! I'll get you a nice collar and your own pillows and everything!” Pluto yapped, nodding its head. “A-huh, and we're gunna play fetch every day! You'd like that, wouldn't you?” Mickey kissed Pluto on the head, giving him a few more adoring scratches before getting to his feet. “Well,” he clicked his tongue, pretending to be haughty, “since you've already gotten yourself a pretty big treat, I'm giving this steak to someone else! Someone who really needs it! Maybe next time you'll wait for me, and then you'll get your big, fat, juicy steak, huh?”

Pluto smiled sheepishly, picking up the links of sausage and dutifully nibbling. Mickey didn't know much about dogs, but he liked to think Pluto was smarter than most. He whistled, and Pluto obediently stepped up to Mickey's side. They walked out into the sunlight, Pluto still chewing on his victory and Mickey whistling a merry tune. Just like inside the palace, anyone who saw Mickey greeted him with that atrocious name, but at least out here they didn't ramble on about it constantly, as they had lives that didn't revolve around him. Mickey would often stop by a shop or a school to peek inside and make sure all was well. If all wasn't well – if a rowdy ne'er-do-well was harassing a shopkeeper or a crying toddler couldn't find their mommy – then he would make it well. But he didn't see anything grand or spectacular about this. It was just what a good person did, and the world was filled with good, boring, ordinary people.

It was well past noon when he found a sizable stick and gave it a toss for Pluto to chase. He wondered if he'd have the time for these walks when he was the Sultan. His parents never did, yet they ran the kingdom perfectly, so maybe they never needed to. Then again they weren't searching for someone like Mickey was. They weren't looking for someone to acknowledge who he was, even if there was nothing to acknowledge. After the third toss, Mickey yelped as Pluto nearly ran down a small child, a boy with messy hair. “Easy there!” Mickey shouted as he ran over, but the boy seemed to be more confused than injured. “Aw gee, I'm sorry about that! Pluto can be a bit too eager sometimes, can't you, Pluto? You apologize now.”

Pluto whined and lowered his head. The child smiled, reaching over to pet the dog with both hands. “Is this your dog, mister?”

“Kinda. Sorta. Maybe. Ish.” Mickey debated on the right word to use – until it hit him what this child had said. “...What did you call me?”

The child blinked up at him with glassy eyes. “Mister?” There was no recognition here.

Mickey froze. True, it was impossible for him to have met every single person in this vast kingdom, and it was possible that many of the younger generation weren't familiar with him just yet. Here was an opportunity Mickey had wanted and failed to prepare for. He stuttered, fumbling and almost dropping the steak under his arm. “N-No, that's fine! It's more than fine! It's...” He shoved the steak into the child's hands, cleared his throat, and then put a hand to his heart. If he was going to do this, he was going to do this right. Who knew when the next chance would come, if ever? “My name... My name is-”

“The son of Scheherazade!” came an elderly voice from behind.

Mickey had to bite down on his lower lip in order not to let several colorful expletives fly, as unknowingly learned from his father. His neck craned to see who had blurted it out. It was a very old woman, and she hobbled over on her walking stick. The child hugged her good leg. “Granny!”

“I was looking for you everywhere, silly boy,” The grandmother cooed, tenderly stroking the boy's hair. “Don't ever scare me like that again!” She faced Mickey, he of many face twitches and suppressed tempers. “How can I ever thank you for finding my grandchild, oh wondrous son of Scheherazade?”

“It... it was just a coincidence,” Mickey mumbled, and Pluto pushed his head into Mickey's open palm in an effort to support him.

The child tilted his head. “Sch... Scheh... who is that?”

“That is our Sultana.” The grandmother pointed towards the shining palace with a long, bony finger. “Have I not told you this tale?” The boy shook his head, and Mickey sighed sadly. “Long, long ago, a very evil woman broke the Sultan's heart. And her evilness spread to his soul...he wanted to make the whole world feel as awful as he did. So he commanded a bride be brought before him – so he could kill her that night, as revenge! But the brave and amazing Scheherazade volunteered to be his wife. He planned to murder her that night, but before he could try, she wove a story so deep, so complex, so thrilling... yet she didn't finish it. She said she would continue the story the next night. The Sultan was so enthralled by the story, he decided he'd delay her death until the next night. But the next night she wove an even more amazing story... and the night after, and the night after, for one thousand and one nights, until the Sultan's heart was cured of its evil by Scheherazade's stories and her love.”

The child looked over to see who the son was of such an astounding hero, but Mickey was already walking away, his head hung. “And that's her son? “Oh yes, that is the son of Scheherazade. Is he not a most fortunate boy?”

Of course Mickey knew the story – and Mickey knew that also wasn't the full story. It was the child friendly version. The child wasn't ready to hear of the real story, of betrayal and blood and agony. A fortunate boy? Him? He touched the scar on his neck, and for a few seconds, he was in the past.

IT'S NOT FAIR! HOW DARE YOU LIVE?! WHY DO YOU DESERVE TO LIVE?!

“I still don't know,” he whispered to a memory that had stayed with him for years and would never leave. Why did he deserve to live? What was the purpose of his life, the point of it? He felt tears come and pressed his arm to his eyes, trying to make it stop.

Wasn't there someone, anyone, out in this great big world who would love him for Mickey? Could such a person exist, and give meaning to his existence? Here in this great and glorious kingdom that numbered thousands, he felt all alone. What he wouldn't give for someone to take him into their arms and tell him they loved him as Mickey, and not as the son of Scheherazade?

No... surely that person was as imaginary as his mother's stories.

Mickey made the decision to go home, with Pluto following his every step. At the palace gates, he turned and knelt down. “Time to say goodbye, Pluto,” he said gently, slowly petting his pet. “One day you'll come in these gates with me.” But he knew if he tried today, the burly guards that stood left and right of him would kick the mutt back out. “Just gotta be patient... you can be patient, right?” It broke Mickey's heart to pull away, and Pluto left one last lick on Mickey's cheek. Mickey managed to tear himself away from his friend and walked back into the palace.

As soon as Mickey couldn't see or hear the pup anymore, the dog was abruptly snatched by the guards – but not to kick him out. No, there were other plans for this confused dog.

~*~

Night came and Mickey laid in his bed, staring up at the mural of Sinbad the sailor. It would be the last night he stared up at this picture, so he tried to memorize every last detail. When he heard the door creak open, he knew who it was without even looking. “Hello, Ma.”

Scheherazade walked in slowly, careful to hold her burning lamp with both hands. Mickey never took good care of his own lamp, and it was often dusty and dirty and wouldn't light. So his mother would bring in her own, often using its illumination to dramatize her tales. She knelt by his bed. “Hello, my sweet son. I know tomorrow, you want that mural painted over... which means you no longer want my stories either.”

Mickey sat up in bed, hugging his knees. “I gotta stop being a child, Ma, even if you still see me as one. Magic's not real, Sinbad's not real, I can't go on listening to stories. Real men doesn't listen to stories.”

She quirked an eyebrow. “Your father likes my stories.”

“Pa drools every time you open your mouth.” He got his ear pinched for that. “Okay, okay! But I meant it, it's time I started living like a man!”

The Queen placed the flickering lamp on a nearby table, her hands in her lap. “Tomorrow will bring a great change in all of us...but that is tomorrow. This is tonight. Tonight, you are not a man.” She smiled, and glanced up at the mural. “So that means I still get to tell you one more story.”

Mickey wound up smiling, and he laid back down, his hands on his chest. “Fine, fine, fine. Just one more story... but it's gotta be about Sinbad.”

Scheherazade laughed. “Yes, of course! Sinbad and his magical flying ship! And his rowdy team – the killer couple, the harm with charm, the gunslinger singer....where should we go today? Shall Sinbad meet his bride on the moon? What about taking on the living dead from the depths? Or a swim through the pool of eternity, only to dry off on a flying carpet?”

As Scheherazade listed her options, readying herself for her greatest story ever, Mickey took one last look at the mural. He'd enjoy this story, and then never hear one again. Tonight would be the last night - he was done with make-believe magic.

Little did he know magic wasn't done with him.

[madam-o]

La Belle et La Bête, 2014 (spoilers)

                                    Ohhh, yeah. That’s the stuff.

Ok, so I finally watched the 2014 French version of BatB with Vincent Cassel (rawr!) as a sleek, sexy, leonine Beast. Like the famous 1946 Jean Cocteau film of the same story, this is not a movie actually meant for children (despite the obviously studio-injected presence of a pack of hunting beagles turned into odd, chibi, “Littlest Pet Shop” versions of themselves). I know that this confuses the hell out of people, but seriously, this is a fairy tale with some mature themes. As presented in 2014 and 1946, it’s a story about men and women and how they often clash despite being uncontrollably drawn to each other. Mostly it’s about how men are lying, selfish pricks, but women aren’t shown as being much better either; at their worst in both these films, they’re shallow, greedy, petty, little bitches.

One thing needs to be said about this movie that was obviously not clear to anyone but the director and other members of the production: this is not a retelling of BatB from the Americanized 1992 Disney movie POV or any other version other than Cocteau’s classic film, and Cocteau’s “La Belle et La Bête” is extremely fucking French. So there’s not much to be found in the heart string-pulling department here, which is why so many of the critiques of this film note its lack of tear-jerking scenes or touching romance. However, this is not meant to be a rom-com or a romance in the American tradition. This is a story with a lot of obvious sexual overtones and a portrayal of the often unpleasant side of humanity.

Like the Cocteau version, this movie is inhabited by a group of childish, asshole siblings for Belle, who is more or less the only decent person in the cast. Even her doting father comes off as a foolish, overly indulgent parent to his brood of ungrateful brats. But there is a young brother who seems at least a little guilt-ridden about how his older brothers act, and a fortune teller who seems like an okay person, even if she has dreadful taste in men. 

The cast is pretty huge, really, and a lot of time is spent with the humans in Belle’s life, just as in the 1946 version. The stuff with the enchanted castle and the Beast comes off much more dreamlike and symbolic than the everyday world, more of a plot device than the actual focus of the plot. The humans are the meat of the story, really, and the Beast’s story is an illustration of humanity.

So here the Beast represents “men” in general more than being a specifically-drawn man struggling to free himself of the dark part of his nature. He’s a prince, but a very broadly painted one. We are shown that he was more concerned with himself and his personal interests than he was with spending time with his wife and keeping his promises to her, but that’s about all we know of him as a person. Neither this version or the 1946 one is particularly interested in him as a well-rounded character. Cocteau idealized the Beast and saw his melancholy struggle to be worthy of love more noble than the end result. In fact, he intentionally made the Beast more attractive than the prince.

Meanwhile in the Disney versions of BatB, the prince/Beast grows just as much as Belle does, and in fact he grows more because he’s the one who’s truly changing. He’s a lovable dope, an average guy who overcomes his male cluelessness. They show a lot of interaction between the two characters and a love that’s born out of friendship.

It’s a completely different feeling than the French versions of the story, which make the relationship between Belle and Bête more adversarial and competitive. The atmosphere between them is serious, angry, and extremely sexually charged. She wants him to respect her and not scare or intimidate her, and he wants her, period. He acts like he thinks that she should submit to his desires simply because she’s his possession, but she isn’t having any of it. She tells him that he disgusts her, which sends him into a rage. 

The best scene in the whole movie, as far as I’m concerned, follows this. Belle has a very disturbing discovery of the Beast consuming a fresh kill in a very suggestive manner on his former marital bed. She flees from him across a frozen pond and he leaps on top of her (while donning a very sensual, white fur coat, by the way). He acts like he’s gonna do something to her similar to the poor dead pig on his bed, but then it gets all sexy and kissy-kissy, until the ice breaks and she falls into the freezing water, anyway.

In the end, Cassel’s prince is not a changed man as much a sexy prize that Belle wins through sheer patience and endurance. Her crappy family does everything they can to ruin everything, but she doesn’t give up and just keeps doing her thing until she finally wins her happy ending. So you get a less three-dimensional prince, but you get a kickass female lead and a sexier story. Not a bad trade-off, imo. 

There’s several parts of the 2014 movie that feel tacked on for purposes of padding the running time, mostly involving some fairly impressive CGI stone giants, the aforementioned “kid-friendly” (ha NO) beagle creatures, and some side plot involving a Gaston-expy and that fortune teller with the poor personality judgment. There’s definitely some flaws, but I don’t find them unforgivable simply because the movie is so damn beautiful and makes it all look so lush and atmospheric. But I do miss some of the creepier trappings of the Cocteau film, like the arm candle sconces and the sculptures that watch you.

Cocteau did it better, it has to be said, but the 2014 movie is an acceptable homage to his vision.

[surveysonfleek]

462.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 20

1901. You're real life is an rpg and you have to choose your stats. Choose your race (you can't pick whatever race you are right now): mixed Choose your alignment: huh? 1902. Now, divide ten points between these stats for yourself: Strength: 3 Charm: 3 Luck: 2 Magic: 2 1903. Now pick 2 skills for yourself: (alchemy, animal taming, blacksmithy, carpentry, cartography, healing, lock picking, music, magic) healing and lock picking. 1904. Do you and your parents like any of the same bands/singers? yeah, probably. 1905. Do you know who lives three houses down from you? nope.

1906. What chore do you absolutely hate doing? sweeping and mopping. 1907. If you could choose anyone, who would you pick as your mentor? i haven’t found the right person yet. maybe at my next job. 1908. What would you name the autobiography of your life? undecided. 1909. What do you miss most about being a kid? not having to worry about real problems. 1910. Why is there an entry for the word 'dictionary' in a dictionary? because why not? it’d be stupid to skip it. 1911. How does glue not stick to the inside of the bottle? lack of oxygen in the bottle maybe. 1912. What do you plant to grow a seedless watermelon? a seed. 1913. If you dislike your family, are you obligated to spend time with them? Show up at family functions? Help them out in their time of need? Is a family even relevant anymore – especially when you have a close circle of friends? you’re definitely not obligated. i feel as though if they’d attend your events or help you out in a time of need, you’d owe it to them to do the same. if not, fuck it. 1914. How would you live your life if you had a week to live? How would you live your life if you had 5 years left to live? How would you live your life if you were going to live forever? one week: spend every day doing something on my bucket list. five years: make goals and plan out something special to do every month. forever: i’d study as much as i could about anything and everything. 1915. Is a day spent watching movies when you could’ve been working a day wasted or well spent? it depends if i had more important things to do. 1916. Can we ever be sure that our perception of things is right – without consulting other people? If we do consult others, how are we to know whether theirs is true or if we’re both deluded? we’ll never know... 1917. Would your life be better or worse if you knew the day, time, and place that you were going to die? worse. it’s all i’d think about. 1918. What is honor? Does honor matter anymore? sure it does. 1919. Are the stories we tell ourselves about our past true, or do we bend the truth so we can create our stories? If the latter is true, than what worth is there in the stories if they aren’t true? if you don’t intentionally bend the truth, it’s still your story, it’s just how you remembered it. 1920. What would happen if you never wasted another minute of your life? What would that look like? i’d never sleep. 1921. How much control do you really have over your life? full control. 1922. Does your happiness depend on where you live? For example, if you owned Santa Monica Real Estate, some of the most expensive in the world, would you truly be fulfilled? not at all. life would definitely be sweeter but it doesn’t define my happiness. 1923. How much does your happiness depend on your health? haha hardly. 1924. What is more difficult for you; looking into someone's eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someone's eyes when they are telling you how they feel? maybe looking into someone’s eyes and telling them how i feel. 1925. What are 3 things that make you beautiful? mind, body, soul hahaha. jk. 1926. Have you ever sacrificed self respect for love? yeah. 1927. If you had to be stuck in a fairy tale, which one would you choose? cinderella. pretty good ending. 1928. What activities make you lose track of time? watching shows/movies and reading. 1929. Have you ever wondered why they leave blank pages at the back of the books? never wondered. 1930. If a habitual liar tells you that he is a habitual liar, will you believe him? i mean, you can’t lie 100% of the time. 1931. Would you ever be willing to move to a distant country knowing there would be little chance of seeing your current friends or family again except on trips? probably not. unless i could travel to see them very constantly. 1932. If you woke up tomorrow with no fear, what would you do first? apply for a million jobs. 1933. What was your biggest worry five years ago, do you still feel the same about it at this minute? nope. 1934. What promises have you never carried through for yourself? idk. 1935. When did you last do something for nothing in return? i forgot haha. 1936. What must you do daily to keep yourself ‘sane’ ? get enough sleep. 1937. When did you last judge someone who you didn’t know? tonight. 1938. How would you hate to be described? rude. 1939. Would you fall head over heels in love with you? haha no. 1940. What in your life exhilarates you? Do you do enough of it? traveling. and not lately. 1941. What makes you indispensable? idk. 1942. Do you follow at least 20 blogs in your field? no. 1943. When was the last time you said or wrote something someone disagreed with? i forgot.  1944. What do you bring to the world that is truly yours? my spirit. shit, idk. 1945. What one word do you want people to think when they think of you? memorable. 1946. What one image do you want people see when you cross their mind? happiness. 1947. What one feeling do you want people to feel when they think of you? happy. 1948. What one thought do you want in people’s minds about you? omg i don’t knowwww. 1949. Why are so many people depressed? idk. either mental health or they’re just not happy with their lives. 1950. When is war justifiable? hardly ever. it never turns out well, people will die. 1951. What does it mean to live in the present moment? make the most of things? 1952. What is the greatest quality humans possess? power of the mind. 1953, What is it that prevents people from living to their full potential? addictions. 1954. Are we all one? no. 1955. Are the senses meant to be starved and destroyed or given in to and relished? given in to and relished. 1956. What are some things that you wished people knew about you? nothing. 1957. What makes it so hard to break away from things or people that we care about dearly? not having them in your life. 1958. Which was an incident in your life that totally changed the way you think today? not sure. 1959. Why can only 2 people fall in love with each other, why can't 4, 5, 6 or 12 people fall in love with each other? Why just a couple and not a triple, quadruple or more? i mean, have you seen sister wives? polygamy is alive and real mate. 1960. What do you know that you really know? And how do you come to know that you know? ooookay... 1961. Why are pirates usually depicted wearing eye patches? idk.  1962. Is there someone you wish to teach a lesson, and still haven't? nope. 1963. Who do you sometimes compare yourself to? my friends. 1964. What can you do today that you were not capable of a year ago? drive to work on my own. 1965. What do we all have in common besides our genes that makes us human? our ability to think. 1966. What’s something you know you do differently than most people? the way i tie my laces. 1967. If you could instill one piece of advice in a newborn baby’s mind, what advice would you give? be kind to others. 1968. Can you describe your life in a six word sentence? no. 1969. What is your most beloved childhood memory? my birthdays. 1970. What is the difference between innocence and ignorance? there’s a purity in innocence whereas none in ignorance. 1971. Would you rather lose all of your old memories or never be able to make new ones? that’s tough... not sure. half and half. 1972. What’s the difference between settling for things and accepting the way things are? settling is not striving for anything more whereas accepting the way things are is more about accepting things you cannot change. 1973. When have you worked hard and loved every minute of it? uni i guess. 1974. What have you done in the last year that makes you proud? traveled. 1975. Why do we idolize sports players? a lot of them have inspiring stories. 1976. What do you do to deliberately impress others? nothing lol. 1977. What’s the best part of growing older? learning more about life and yourself. 1978. What’s the biggest lie you once believed was true? santa. 1979. What is the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done? rocked up to a stadium during a stomry night and randomly bought ice hockey tickets. turned out to be the best seats in the house. 1980. Do you like the city or town you live in? Why or why not? it’s okay. it’s still quiet and fairly safe. 1981. What’s the best part of being you? idk. 1982. If you could have a gift certificate to have one service done for you every day for an entire year (getting your hair styled, getting a massage) what would you pick? massage for sure. 1983. Who is your mentor and what have you learned from them? no one. 1984. Would you rather your child be less attractive and extremely intelligent or extremely attractive and less intelligent? more intelligent.  1985. What is the biggest change you have made in your life in the last year? nothing as of yet. 1986. What is the biggest conscientious change you have made in your life ever? idk. 1987. When should you reveal a secret that you promised you wouldn’t reveal? if it’s a means of life or death. 1988. If you could live forever but you would be the only one, would you want to? Why? no way, how lonely. 1989. What are some recent compliments you’ve received? my makeup looks nice. 1990. What is the number one quality that makes someone a good leader? being relatable. 1991. What do you love to practice? nothing. 1992. What is something you have always wanted since you were a kid? a dog. and i got it. 1993. When in your life have you been a victim of stereotyping? all the freaking time. 1994. How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? household name status i guess. 1995. Why is it that doctors and lawyers call what they do 'practice' but other professions don't? How does your profession sound when referred to as a practice? idkkk. 1996. What are 5 topics you follow on twitter? i mostly follow my friends. 1997. If you had to get one sentence tattooed on your body, what would it be? none omg. 1998. At what point will you be good enough? When are you self-improved enough to accept yourself? if i reach all my goals. 1999. What are the three "nevers" of your life? never doing hard drugs (even though i have), never taking anyone i love for granted and i’m never going to settle. 2000. What is your first priority when you wake up? check the time.

[fae-fucker]

The One: Chapter 32-Epilogue

I can’t believe we did this. No, that I did this. Y’all helped me through the hard times, but let’s not kid ourselves, I’m the one suffering the most here. 

Anyway, let’s not go out with a bang but with an overdramatic whisper, shall we?

Chapter 32

America goes to find Maxon.

Maxon was on his bed, the left side of his chest padded with gauze under his plain cotton shirt. His left arm was in a sling, and he used his right to hold up the paper some adviser was explaining to him.

He looked so normal there, dressed down, hair a mess. But at the same time, he looked like so much more than he had been before. Was he sitting a little taller? Had his face somehow become more serious?

He was so clearly the king.

I wonder if KCass’ keyboard is all sticky.

How convenient that Maxon is just so awesome that the death of his parents and his own near-death experience hasn’t stopped him from suddenly shouldering all this responsibility that he’s 100% not ready for because he’s, like, what, twenty at most? 

But whatever. TWU WUV makes you good at politics, right? That’s how that works? 

Turns out his mother died by throwing herself in front of her husband. I bet KCass thinks that’s real heroic, but I just see it as a convenient excuse to get rid of her and replace her with America. Because that’s literally what it is.

“She was always selfless. To her very last breath.”

“You shouldn’t be so surprised. You’re a lot like her.”

He made a face. “I’ll never be quite as good as her. I’m going to miss her so much.”

Mm. Can you feel the pain and hurt just seeping off the pages? No? It’s because it’s not there. Seriously KCass, what the FUCK were you thinking while writing this?

Moving on, because who cares about dead parents when there’s more bad worldbuilding!

“Are you . . . you’re going to dissolve the castes?” I asked, looking up to Maxon.

“That’s the plan,” he answered, smiling. “I don’t want you to get too excited. This will take a long time to do, but I think it will work. You see,” he said, turning the pages of the vast file and pointing to a paragraph. “I want to start from the bottom. I’m planning on eliminating the Eight label first. There’s a lot of construction we need to do; and I feel like, with a little bit of work, the Eights could be absorbed into the Sevens. After that, it gets tricky. There’s got to be a way to get rid of the stigmas that come along with the numbers, but that’s my goal.”

You know what never happens in these books with these “benevolent teen rulers”? They never abdicate and create the basics for democracy. Humanity as a whole has mostly realized that one dude ruling everything? Generally pretty bad. But because these idiot authors can never imagine their little sweethearts anywhere else but at the very top of the world being worshipped by everyone and everyhting, they always keep their power without even A SINGLE THOUGHT that maybe hey, this is a pretty bad way to rule a country.

These characters are supposedly the greatest things since sliced bread, but the underlying implication is that they’re not quite benevolent enough to give up the power. But being obviously ambitious is always evil in these books. So what’s the truth here?

Pretty spooky, huh, folks?

“I want you to know that this is all your doing. Since the day you called me into the hallway and told me about being hungry, I’ve been working on this. It was one of the reasons I got so upset after you did your presentation; I had a quieter way of reaching the exact same goal. But of all the things I wanted to do for my country, this would have never crossed my mind if I hadn’t known you.”

“I was only nice so I could nestle my dick in that sweet American cooter of yours.”

To be fair, the prince in my story does exactly the same thing. Except he gets called out and it’s not seen as romantic or cutesy, but whatever. Can’t have the prince being anything but perfect, can we now?

“I love you,” he said simply. “I should have told you a long time ago. [...]”

You have. Like forty times at this point. 

“[...] Maybe we could have avoided so many stupid mistakes if I had. Then again,” he added, beginning to smile, “sometimes I think it was all those obstacles that made me love you so deeply.”

The only way you could’ve avoided stupid mistakes would be if someone competent was writing you.

“In those seconds, I was mourning everything I’d lost. How I’d never get to see you walk down an aisle toward me, how I’d never get to see your face in our children, how I’d never get to see streaks of silver in your hair. But, at the same time, I couldn’t be bothered. If me dying meant you living”—he did his one-shoulder shrug again—“how could that be anything but good?”

I wish Cass would’ve just stuck to what she knew instead of trying to shoehorn in “edgy” elements she clearly had no idea how to handle just to ride that dystopia bandwagon. Some bits of her romance scenes show some potential, like this one right here. 

If she’d just written a sappy romance, I might’ve enjoyed it. Well no, her characters would likely still be fucking asshole idiots, but I wouldn’t have hated it as much because I wouldn’t have been expecting more than it ever gave me.

Whatever. He asks her to marry him and she’s all ;_; and says yes.

Again. I know it’s only the epilogue left, but I’m still worried they might break up and get back together like five more times before the book is really over.

Epilogue

It’s the day of the wedding and for some reason it’s all written in present tense. Is this supposed to mean something? Even if it is, it’s dumb and jarring and you don’t do this at the end of the fucking book. 

We find out that Anne is dead. So ... her entire everything was absolutely useless and went nowhere so ... What was even the point? 

Honestly, sometimes you see “pointless” characters staying in a book becuse it’s obvious the author liked them too much to kill that particular darling, but in this case, we can’t even say KCass cared. Mary, the maid with the least character development, aka negative character development, is the only one who stayed with America. This is like ... ever heard of recycling?

Marlee is there as America’s only bridesmaid. Oh yeah, remember Marlee? She exists again.

“Don’t start getting nervous again!” she insists.

“I’m trying! I mean, I knew it was coming; it’s just a lot for one day.”

“Ha!” she exclaims as the music shifts. “Wait until tonight.”

Wait until tonight to have the sex like a good good Christian girl. Though America hasn’t been worried about that sort of thing before, since she’s tried to fuck Maxon twice already, so idk why this is even a thing. 

KCass doesn’t want no slut to get a happy ending, I spose.

Speaking of, Celeste’s corpse is probably still rotting somewhere, brains all over the floor. What ... was the point of her death? Like seriously? Why did KCass try to take back her gross slut-shamey ways only to kill Celeste off in the end anyway? 

Apparently Aspen is the one leading her down the aisle, since her Real Daddy is dead in the ground, her Former Daddy is a natural replacement to give her away to the Daddy Overlord. Mm-mm, those outdated gender rolls taste stale and moldy like always!

I’m shocked by how much I wish Celeste was here. I can imagine her rolling her eyes and then winking, or something like that. Making some wisecrack that was almost snotty but not quite. I really, really miss her.

And that’s all we get, I guess. No word on how her family is handling this, no word on how people reacted to her death since she was semi-famous. But yeah, America REALLY REALLY MISSES HER. CAN YOU TELL HOW MUCH SHE MISSES HER?

IT’S REALLY REALLY.

I miss Queen Amberly, too. I can only imagine how happy she would have been today, finally getting a daughter. I feel as if marrying Maxon makes it okay for me to love her that way, like a mother. I’m certain I always will.

And then there’s my mom and May holding on to each other so tightly they look as if they’re supporting each other. Around them are so many smiles. It’s almost overwhelming how loved I feel.

I’m so distracted by their faces that I forget how close I am to the end of the aisle. As I turn forward . . . he’s there.

And then it seems as if no one else is here at all.

DICK LOCATED, ALL UNITS INITIATE SHUTDOWN

Aspen gives me one last smile, and I reach over to kiss his cheek, saying good-bye to so many things. We share a look for a moment, and he takes my hand and puts it in Maxon’s, giving me away.

*looks at KCass for a really long time* Who hurt you?

They nod to each other, nothing but respect in their faces. I don’t think I could ever understand all that’s passed between them, but it feels peaceful in that moment.

BEFORE, MY WOMAN. YOUR NOW. FUCK WOMAN HARD.

ARGH. MY WOMAN NOW. FUCK HARD I WILL.

FILL WOMAN WITH BABY. 

ARGH. I WILL FILL.

I’ve translated it from Sexismian, though my accent still needs some work.

But even now I know this isn’t a fairy tale. I know that we’ll have hard times, confusing times. I know that things won’t always happen the way we want them to and that we’ll have to work to remember that we chose this. It won’t be perfect, not all the time.

This isn’t happily ever after.

It’s so much more than that.

Yeah, it is. It’s the end of The One.

It’s over.