#and tell him she knew by his snarky review of her food that it was him all along

[groundbreakingdot872]

but what if when Merlin becomes inducted as Court Sorcerer under Gwen’s rule, all the Camelot staff tell him they’d actually known all along…

And what if!! they’re all wiping away tears at the ceremony, proud smiles on their faces WHAT THEN

[jammie3132]

Fandom: Glee Pairing: Blaine Anderson & Sebastian Smythe Summary: Blaine Anderson and his best friends are co-owners of the hottest (literally) new restaurant in NYC…Dueling Dragons. When they discover Sebastian Smythe (city’s toughest food critic and well-known hater of anything spicy) is coming, everyone goes into crisis mode to make sure his review doesn’t bring down what they’ve worked so hard to build.

10 Days of Seblaine 2023 Day 7: Dragons

“Hell no!” Sebastian Smythe, NYC’s most popular (and toughest) food critic, yelled as he plopped down on the couch in his editor’s office. He was too tired (technically hung over) for this.

“Did I give you the impression you had an option?”

“I’ll quit.”

Santana Lopez laughed at her favorite employee (most of the time). “Dueling Dragons is Manhattan’s hottest new restaurant. You’re the website’s critic for new/up and coming restaurants…”

“I can’t do spicy, you know that. When I researched the place, being thorough as usual, I you don't know what you'll get until you arrive that night. And it's a set menu, the only choice you have is Asian or Latin. I wouldn't have the chance to ask for substitutions. On top of that, the five courses get progressively hotter, and I don’t mean temperature. The Scoville scale is involved!”

"Remind me again why you chose to become a Food Critic?"

"You know damn well when spicy isn't involved, my palate is the best in the business." 

“That is true." His palate and award-winning writing was the primary reason Santana had her current job. "I heard alcohol is also part of the experience. Maybe by the third course you won’t care.”

“I heard alcohol is also part of the experience. Maybe by the third course you won’t care.”

“Getting drunk won’t help, especially once they figure out I’m there for a review. It’s not like I’ll fly under the radar.”

“Come on, I’m known as The Spicy Latina. I’ve got to go. I’ll eat whatever half you don’t and give you my two-cents.”

“You know that’s not the way it works. I can’t review anything I didn’t eat. So again, the answer is N…O…NO!”

“Rumor is all of the owners are gorgeous and at least one is gay.” Fuck! Why did she say that?

“Yeah, I’ve seen a couple of Blaine Anderson’s interviews. He’s definitely sex-on-a-stick. But remember, I was told by company lawyers not to sleep with the owners of the restaurants anymore.”

“I meant flirt, you slut! Bat your dreamy eyes and flash your snarky smile. Turn on the charm your followers and fangirls/boys fall for.”

“Hey! The judge believed that the idiot only sued because his husband caught us and threw out the lawsuit! And if I knew the guy was married it never would’ve happened! You, more than anyone know that!”

“Seb…”

“I might be a man whore but I’m not a slut!” Once Sebastian calmed down (slightly), he realized there had to be more going on if they were discussing what was never to be mentioned at work. “What’s this really about, San?”

Was it a smart idea for Sebastian to sleep with the owner of the place he was there to review? Hell no! But none of the shit show that followed was his fault. He was just the one paying for it. “The lawsuit might have been thrown out, but your reputation took a big hit.”

“It wasn’t that bad.”

“Bad enough.”

“Tell them to send Thad. That guy can eat anything.”

“That’s why he covers street food. The big bosses said it has to be you.”

Santana wasn’t just Sebastian’s editor. She’d been his best friend since 3rd grade. He could read her like a book. There was still something she wasn’t telling him…Oh shit! “I know I threatened to quit, but are you saying I could get fired?”

“I’m saying it would be in your best interest to create some positive attention. Just being seen at Dueling Dragons will generate tons of comments on social media with your fans guessing what, if anything, you’ll eat. Your spice aversion isn’t a secret. I think the only reason some people follow you is to see if you’ll vomit. People in this city are gross.”

Sebastian sighed and shook his head. He’d gotten himself into this, only he could get himself out of it. “What night are we going so I can renew my prescriptions? And I’ll probably need a couple days off to give my digestive system time to recover.”

“We have reservations for 7PM tomorrow. Go call your doc and I’ll submit for the time off.” The conversation had actually gone better than Santana expected. “I’ll get you through this.”

“Damn straight you will. I’m going home with you afterwards so you can take care of me while I’m puking my guts out.”

“It’s the least I can do. And Seb, I’m sorry about the slut comment.”

“I love you too Satan.”

Blaine Anderson loved his job. What he didn’t love was how much time he spent doing interviews. He still didn’t understand how these had become his responsibility.

Is it true you and your partners, Sam Evans and Mike Chang, had the idea for Dueling Dragons back in high school?

Not quite. It’s true we’ve been best friends since high school and talked about opening a restaurant someday, but not until Culinary School. Dueling Dragons didn’t come together until after we reunited last year.

Can I ask why the three of you separated for so long?

While we all knew we wanted a career in Culinary, and went to the Institute together, each of us had our own interests. Sam focused on mixology and wine studies. Mike’s love was Hispanic/Latin cuisine. After graduation he spent 2 years traveling Mexico, as well as Central and South America, working for some of the best chefs in the world.

And you?

I left the Institute at the end of my first year when I was accepted to the Cordon Blue in Paris. After 2 years there I spent 3 years in Southeast Asia basically doing the same thing Mike did. I’m sorry but I’m going to have to end this to go prepare for tonight.

No need to apologize. This was the only information that wasn’t clear from our previous interview. The article should be up on our site next Friday. And thank you for the reservation this weekend. The entire office was embarrassed when we couldn’t solve this week’s puzzle and get the code.

We know having a weekly code to make a reservation is a little weird, but it’s working for now. However, with as popular as we’re getting, we’re close to the point where we’ll have to come up with something new.

If at all possible…don’t. Our advertising department thinks it’s brilliant. It drives traffic to your website. Not to mention, the exclusivity of having to have the code to make a reservation works for NYC. Some A-list celebrities I know practically begged me to help them get a code when they found out I’m writing an article on you.

It took another 5 minutes to get the guy off the phone, but Blaine was happy to see the call took less time than he thought it would. He had to get the stock for tomorrow night’s soup course on to simmer. When he walked into the kitchen Sam and Mike were huddled together with their lead hostess, Brittany. These conversations never ended well. “What’s wrong and how much will it cost to fix?” he asked once he got them into the office.

“It’s nothing like that” Mike assured him before moving his focus to Brittany.

They’d hired her away from what was now their biggest rival and worth every penny they overpaid her. “I was going through tomorrow’s reservations and there’s one under the name Grant Dalton.”

“So?”

“Grant Dalton is an alias Sebastian Smythe uses to make reservations. I didn’t think to include Smythe on our list of critic aliases because everyone knows he doesn’t eat spicy food. He has some sort of digestive condition.”

“This is a disaster!” Mike had always been the (overdramatic) worrier of the group, especially with what he considered the sky is falling events. “He’s doing this to give us a negative review. That’s the only reason. He…”

Blaine reached up and clutched tightly to his tall friend’s shoulders (please calm down, please calm down). “Mikey, take a breath. His bosses were here the other night and told each of us how much they enjoyed themselves. Even if Smythe plans to sabotage us, they wouldn’t allow a hit piece on the website.”

“But he does have a massive social media following” Brittany reminded them.

“Although he had that scandal” Sam said much too nonchalantly for anyone’s comfort. He was the one with the big ideas, but also the one with the ridiculous plans to accomplish them.

“He was cleared.” All eyes turned to Blaine. “What? I follow him on Instagram. He’s gorgeous…and gay.”

“Perfect!”

Uh-oh! “Samuel Dwight Evans, whatever plan you’re forming…”

“Blaine Devon Anderson, wouldn’t you do anything within your power to save Dueling Dragons? Our dream…”

“Where all our money is invested! Every…single…dime!” Mike began to hyperventilate but Brittany got him to a chair and helped with his breathing exercises. She’d become their Mike Chang whisperer in the short time she had been with them.

Correction on his previous statement. They weren’t paying their lead hostess nearly enough.

“You both, and Brittany, know I’d do anything for Dueling Dragon, but I’m not going to sleep with Smythe…no matter how gorgeous he is.”

Sam went to Blaine and put his arm around his shoulders. That was never good. “I wasn’t saying sleep with him…woo him. Picture this, we set him and his dinner companion…

“When he uses Grant Dalton he’s usually with his editor, Santana Lopez.”

“Thanks Britt because this wouldn’t work if he was on a date. Where was I…oh, yeah. We set Smythe and Lopez up in a private room, primarily so other customers don’t see him vomit, but also so you can read his mood. We can adjust as needed.”

So far, this wasn’t bad. “Ok, where does the wooing come in?”

“Come on, B. I know your love life if crap…”

“Hey!”

“Your last boyfriend who lasted longer than a week was the guy you ran all the to the Cordon Blue to get away from.”

He wasn’t lying. “Continue.”

“You’re a complete package…good looking, expressive eyes with ridiculous eyelashes, tone body…thanks to me, amazing ass…thanks to me. But your secret weapon? That flirty yet snarky charm of yours. Cast him under your spell. Jedi mind trick him if necessary…”

Blaine freed himself from his partner’s hold and began to pace. The others just watched for a while until Brittany asked “Blaine, are you going to share with the class?”

“What if we did Jedi mind trick him?”

Sam looked to the others and then back to Blaine. “I was kidding, Dude.”

“No, listen. Part of our popularity is we have a different menu every night. Customers have no idea what they’ll get until they get here.”

“Yeah, Blaine” Mike was confused…they were all confused. “We wrote the mission statement with you.”

“I know but while we serve half Asian/half Latin, that’s not what the mission statement says. That’s our choice. The mission statement says quality food. That’s the only requirement we set for ourselves. And the #1 rule for Food Critics is they can’t review anything they didn’t taste themselves.”

“Still don’t get it.”

“We don’t have to serve him spicy.”

“Then what the hell are we serving him?”

“Let me take care of that.”

NEXT DAY 6:45 PM

“Blaine Anderson!” Sam stormed into the kitchen with a receipt in his hand. Blaine hoped that meant what he thought it did. “Why did I just sign for a $1000 bottle of French wine?”

“Yes, it made it! I was beginning to panic.”

Mike hurried over (no running in the kitchen) from his station. “$1000?! On ONE bottle of wine?!”

“Hey Mikey” his head sous chef called from his side of the kitchen. “There’s something wrong with this batch of soup.”

“Oh my God!”

Blaine and Sam weren’t worried about the soup. They’d asked Mike’s staff to invent a potential food disaster whenever situations like this occurred. However, that didn’t mean they weren’t worried. “This has to work, B. We can’t have Smythe trashing us. It’ll kill our momentum.”

“I’m hoping if he does people will take our current reputation and his aversion to spicy food into consideration, but I’m worried too…don’t tell Mikey.”

“Are you kidding? We’re too busy for Brittany to spend the night back here having him breathe into his oxygen tank. Speaking of busy, I’ve got to get out front. Things are so crazy tonight I had to schedule both our new bartenders.” As he walked back to the bar, Sam saw Smythe and who had to be his editor approaching the Hostess Station. "Ok Britt, you're on."

Sebastian was the one dreading the evening but it was Santana who stopped before reaching the Hostess Station. “Did you change your mind? Can we get out of here?”

She tightened her grip on his arm and nodded to the blonde behind the station before. “Where have we seen her before? I remember those boobs from somewhere.”

“Mr. Smythe, Ms. Lopez, you table is ready.”

Sebastian leaned over and quietly asked “Why didn’t you use my alias?”

“She did” the same blonde, who was now right in front of them, answered. “Would you please follow me?”

If that was confusing, they were more confused when they were escorted to a private room set for two. “We thought you’d be more comfortable in here, Mr. Smythe. There’s privacy if something you eat doesn’t agree with you. Hopefully, that won’t be an issue.”

The beautiful blonde excused herself, but Sebastian needed answers.

“How did you know…?”

“That you’re Grant Dalton? What can I say? I’m a genius.”

Once she was gone Santana announced “I’m going to marry that woman.”

“Tone it down, Lopez. My public humiliation doesn’t mean I just can’t sleep with restaurant staff. Everyone was included…” Sebastian was rendered speechless when the most beautiful man he’d ever seen walked in. He’d known Blaine Anderson was attractive from watching his interviews. In person he was stunning.

Blaine was hit with exactly the same thoughts about Sebastian. But he couldn’t be distracted. Everyone was counting on him. He placed a rectangular bucket of ice in front of each of them and stepped back.

“Good evening Ms. Lopez, Mr. Smythe, I’m Blaine Anderson, one of the co-owners, and I’d like to welcome you to Dueling Dragons. Within these buckets are carafes of water and milk, if you should require relief at some point.”

Sebastian looked into his bucket and saw a third carafe. “Why do I have an extra carafe?”

“Pepto Bismal…should you require extra relief.”

Santana sat back and watched the interaction between the two. So, this is what they meant by YOU could cut the (sexual) tension with a knife. Any other time she would’ve helped amp it up, but not now. “Can we have a rundown of tonight’s menus?”

“That’s not how it works. I will not give you a rundown. I will give you the title of each theme and you choose from there. I will say some of our Asian dishes tonight do contain peanuts, but our kitchens are completely separate with no chance of cross contamination.”

“No issues here. I was always choosing Latin. What’s my theme?”

“You’re in luck. Tonight it’s Tour of Mexico. It’s one of the most popular themes my partner prepares.”

“Wait” Sebastian might have been intrigued by the man but he felt like he was being set up. ”If I remember correctly you are the other chef of the trio. Why aren’t you in the kitchen?”

“I assure you, Mr. Smythe, anyone who chooses my cuisine tonight will leave Dueling Dragons completely satisfied.”

“Challenge accepted. And what is my theme for the evening?”

“Surprise me.”

After Blaine left, Sebastian pulled out a notebook and pen. “They’re up to something. Trying to throw me off with their private room and Pepto Bismal. Not to mention, Anderson’s gorgeous eyes and amazing ass. But I’m too smart for that.”

On the other side of the restaurant, Blaine announced triumphantly to Mike and the kitchen staff “He bought it! Now the fun begins.”

Serving a 5-course meal was playing a piece of music. Each part building upon the one before until it reached the crescendo, or in this case, main course. Besides taste, the fastest way to ruin the meal was for the timing to be off. So, after checking how his staff was doing with his scheduled theme, Cambodian Combustion, he made sure everything was in order before he took out the first course. None of his amazing staff was touching anything he served the critic. For better or for worse, this was all on him.

“Mikey! Let’s go!” His partner brought him a small cloche covered plate. “Is the soup good to go? You know there’s no turnaround time between one and two.”

“Now who’s nervous? And the soup is ready to go. You can do this, Blaine. It’s not like our entire future isn’t riding on this.”

Back in the private room, Sebastian noticed something for the first time. “There’s a trash can next to my chair in case their food makes me sick.”

“Can you blame them? Seb, this isn’t just their livelihood, this is their dream. You showing up has to be their worst nightmare. So, what if they figured out you were coming and prepared as much as possible? Have somewhat of an open mind…please?”

“You just want to take the hostess home with you.”

“Yes, but instead I’m taking your sorry ass home. And you can’t tell me you’re not intrigued by Anderson.”

“I definitely am but I’m putting it on the back burner until I figure out what he’s up to…shut up, he’s back. Let’s get this over with.”

With his back turned, Blaine took a deep breath before plastering a smile on his face. It wasn’t as hard as he thought it would be. Smythe was as charming as he was gorgeous.

Show time!

“I am proud to present your Amuse Bouche course this evening. If you’ll remove the cloche. Ms. Lopez, you have a handmade corn tortilla chip with jalapeno mouse. Mr. Smythe, tartlet with foie gras and caramelized onion.”

Sebastian looked to Santana who shrugged. It didn't make sense to her either.

“We are pairing the chip tonight with a shot of Patron and Mr. Smythe, you have received a taster’s glass of Chateau Lafite Rothschild 2019 as your pairing. Enjoy and I will return momentarily with the soup course.”

The editor was humming enjoyment for her course, but the critic had all sorts of questions. “Anderson, what the hell is this?”

“Your Amuse Bouche. As I recall, you accepted the challenge to eat what I prepared. Remember we do not allow substitutions. If you’ll excuse me.”

Santana reached toward her partner’s plate. “If you aren’t going to eat it, I will. It looks delicious.”

He slapped her hand away. “Tana, that wine is like $1000 a bottle. And the crust on this tartlet is perfect. Oh, I get it. His theme tonight is Surprise me. There’s probably Thai chilis in this or something. But I don’t smell…”

“Eat the damn thing already!”

Sebastian closed his eyes and popped the tartlet in his mouth, expecting the worse. It was one of the most delicious things he’d ever eaten.

“Is everyone ready for soup?”

This continued through the next 3 courses…a classic French dish with a French alcoholic pairing. He knew Santana’s courses were following the expected process of increasing creasing heat because she’d gone through half her milk and was drinking his water because hers was gone.

But they were surprised when Blaine told her she had a choice for her final dish. They were not as surprised when that meant the habanero version or the ghost pepper version. She wisely chose habanero.

“Mr. Smythe, if you’d remove your cloche.”

Sebastian removed the cover to find his favorite meal…Coq au vin.

“Ok, what the fuck Anderson?”

“Have you not enjoyed what I presented you?”

“It’s the best damn food I’ve ever eaten but…”

“Enjoy your Coq au vin, Mr. Smythe. If you still have questions when you’re finished, I will be happy to answer them.”

Blaine left before he could be asked anything else but ran directly into Sam. “How’s it going?”

“Food wise? Best food he ever ate. Otherwise? I’m probably going to need the rest of that very expensive bottle of wine to calm him down.”

“No, I’ve got a better idea.”

Blaine didn’t serve them the Dragon fruit sorbet that came at the end of the dinner. It wasn’t big enough to be called a dessert, just enough to cool the mouth down after the final (and spiciest) course. 10 minutes later Brittany asked Santana if she’d like to see the kitchen and thank her chef. Sebastian knew there was no way she was declining. They were barely out the door when Blaine appeared with a bottle of cognac and two glasses. “Still have questions?”

“Don’t you have a restaurant to run?”

“That’s why I have partners and pay our staff 25% above going rate. We also tip match nightly with kitchen staff.”

“Most establishment have servers tip share.”

“We don’t.”

“Don’t you think that’s a risky plan for a new restaurant, especially in NYC?”

“Less expensive than constant turnover and retraining. Now that we’ve established I’m not abandoning my responsibilities, do you have anything else to ask or are you writing a hit piece no matter what I say?”

Sebastian sat back and sipped at his cognac. The Blaine Anderson who served them dinner was charming, but it felt a bit…staged. Snarky Blaine Anderson was his fucking wet dream (seriously…fucking wet dream). “Who cooked my meal?”

“I did.”

“Anderson…” Blaine scrolled through his phone. When he found what he was looking for he handed it across the table. “Your bio?”

“Read it.”

It didn’t take long for Sebastian to find…“You graduated top of your class at The Cordon Blue? In Paris? Why the fuck are you cooking that spicy shit?” For some reason, that was exactly the wrong thing to ask.

“Fuck you! Write what you want. We’ll survive whatever bullshit you say about us!”

Blaine started leave as it hit Sebastian how badly he’d screwed up. “Sorry, I’m really sorry, that’s not what I meant…well, it is, but not the…shit! Can I have a do over? Hi, my name is Sebastian Smythe. I’m a food critic and an idiot. I’d like to have an intelligent conversation with you but I don’t know if that’s possible…on my part. I’ve just eaten the best meal of my life cooked by the most attractive chef I’ve ever seen and I’m totally off my game.”

Blaine sat back down but was not fully sold on the apology. Despite that he brought down his defenses to explain. “I was in a relationship when I was at the Institute. The Cordon Blue was his dream, not mine. When he sent in his application, he forged one for me. I got accepted, he didn’t. As you can guess, he didn’t take it well. It got so bad I broke up with him which made it worse. I only went to Paris to get away from him.”

“Oh, shit. I’m sorry.”

“While I was there I learned everything I could. I mean I did finish first in my class. But Paris was always his dream. From Paris I went to the Philippines to visit my mom’s family. I found out Mikey was on his trek through South America and thought What the hell? I’m here. The Philippines turned into 3 years in Southeast Asia. It was the best thing I ever did.”

Sebastian went for the bottle of cognac to discover it was empty. Not good. The booze would have helped quash the feelings that were developing for the man sitting across from him. “Then why cook me the best dinner I ever ate.”

“We assumed you were doing a hit piece as part of your crusade against all things spicy. We invested everything we have in Dueling Dragons…savings, inheritance, trust funds.”

“I wasn’t doing a hit piece. Ever since my life became Page six fodder, my reputation has taken a hit. You’re the most popular new restaurant in NYC. It’s my job to review new restaurants. In the past I would’ve passed this assignment to a different critic. This time I wasn’t given the option. I think my bosses wanted me to bail so they could fire me.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know.”

ONE WEEK LATER

Blaine was in his office, going over the books. His idea to trick Sebastian Smythe cost nearly $3000 they didn’t have. He didn’t know how to tell Sam, and no way in hell he was telling Mike. Maybe they could try to fit in a few more tables on weekends?

He was so focused on the numbers he didn’t hear Brittany the first time she called his name. “Blaine!”

“Oh, sorry Britt. What’s up?”

“There’s someone here to interview you.”

"I don't have an interview scheduled."

“I don’t know what to tell you. The guy said he needed to talk to an owner and insisted it was you.”

While he was annoyed at least it gave him a chance to clear his head. That was until he saw Sebastian Smythe was the person waiting to talk to him.

Fucking great

“What can I do for you Mr. Smythe?”

“How about we take a seat and talk? And maybe call me Sebastian?”

“Sure” With the restaurant empty he motioned to a table far enough from the bar Sam couldn’t eavesdrop. “What can I do for you Sebastian?”

“We had such a dramatic end to my last visit…” Sebastian reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out an envelope “I didn’t pay for my meal.”

“Your editor did.”

“No, she paid for the meal I expected to have.”

“I don’t…” Blaine opened the envelope and found a check for $3048.28. “What is this?”

“I had no idea what to do with my review so I went to my bosses. They laughed so hard that you got one over on me that they insisted paying for everything. That’s an estimate. If it was more…”

“No, it’s down to the penny. Thank you.”

“I swear it wasn’t me, but this is.”

Blaine accepted the gift bag he hadn’t noticed. “Chateau Lafite Rothschild 2019 but that was part of the money…”

“That’s not from my bosses, it’s really from me. I know you don’t have the fondest memories of The Cordon Blue but it’s a travesty you won’t cook French food because of them. I was hoping if I brought the wine you might cook me dinner one night. Not here, but as like a date?”

“YES!!” Evidently their table wasn’t far enough from the bar since Sam, Mike and Brittany answered for him.

“My friends…this is just a date?”

“Yes. After the last few months I learned my lesson about…well, you read the tabloids. I think I’d like to take things slow, if that’s alright.”

“Very alright.”

Sebastian’s smile filled his face until…“Please tell me you’re not married.”

LATER THAT DAY

Dueling Dragons A Sebastian Smythe Review

It is not a secret that I don’t like spicy food. It’s not that I don’t like it, due to a digestive condition, I cannot eat it without becoming violently ill. I’m usually able to avoid these dishes when reviewing a restaurant.

Then I was assigned to review Dueling Dragons.

Dueling Dragons is co-owed by two of NYC’s hottest (pun intended) new chefs, Mike Chang and Blaine Anderson, and a master of mixology, Sam Evans. Their unique vision of a half Latin/half Asian menu is a breath of fresh air.

I am declaring the latest trend of Wall Street burnouts deciding “Hey, I can cook. I’ll open a restaurant” officially over. I refuse to eat tasteless pasta, steaks dripping in a pound of butter or overcook salmon again. NYC is the greatest city in the world. We don’t deserve that crap. We deserve food prepared with thought and a little whimsy. More than that, we deserve food prepared by expert hands. Hands of chefs who give a damn, not only for the meals they prepare but the customers they serve.

What we deserve is Dueling Dragons

Yes, I ate the food. No, I’m not going to describe what I ate. Each night is a new experience, and I don’t want to ruin yours.

I will say it was the best meal I ever ate.

[sarahlevys]

Congrats on 350!!!!!!! You deserve it❤

Can I request multiple director's commentary?? If not feel free to choose whichever one 🥰

1. The inspo behind "Rollin with the Homies" and you had to structure it differently due to the 1st person? I've never loved a 1st person fic SO MUCH. Just tell us about all the things plz.

2. How you approached your first time writing D/P for "Street Lights, Big Dreams All Lookin Pretty" since they aren't who you normally write but you smashed it out of the park!

3. Can you just talk about "Sex Friends" and how you did such an incredible job with Rachel?

Okay wait I thought of 1 moreeeeee... "Café Tropical (Schitt's Creek, ON) Has 3.96 Stars On Yelp" plz comment on how you nailed every single character and made it so laugh out loud funny.

Ok love you byeee❤❤

thank you so much for everything and for always supporting my writing ❤️ i'm so glad we met!! i love this energy, you're truly doing the most 😘

rollin' with the homies (alexis/twyla, david/patrick, stevie/ruth, T)

fun fact, i wrote the entire almost-10K in under a week and i'm still slightly burnt out from it, but it was worth it 😅 i had finished all my tropefest things and was itching to write something else since i couldn't fathom not working on something for it. @schittposting had long ago prompted me to write a twylexis clueless AU, and she already had everyone casted in their 'parts'! i've been wanting to do a little california AU for a while, too, and then it seemed fun to set it in the 2000s instead of today, when the characters would've been in their teens. so something that i intended to be just a small little thing quickly took on a life of its own.

i completely did not intend to write in first person for the entire thing – i thought i'd just do it for a little intro. but then it just started happening, and it actually turned out to be faster and easier to crank out the whole thing if i did it in stream of consciousness, so i just went with it. i don't think i've ever written fic before in first person, and i'm really proud of how it turned out!

street lights, big dreams, all lookin' pretty (david/patrick, alexis/twyla, a whisper of stevie/ruth, T)

ahhh! this was my very first time writing david and i was an anxious mess throughout the whole thing. it took me three months to write 11.5K words, as opposed to clueless AU 🤭

i really loved the prompt with everyone taking bets on whether twyla and alexis were together, and i loved that it would be set in new york, where i lived for a few years. i love fics set there, both from the perspective of alexis making her way there, AUs set in new york, and fics exploring the effects of the city on both david and alexis. so i had to write it, even if i was terrified of writing a different POV.

i knew i wanted to treat it as just as much of a D/P fic as a twylexis fic (or even more so, since it's from david's perspective), and hopefully i achieved that. with that in mind, i really tried to focus on making the story just as much about david coming back 'home,' his thoughts on how he's changed and what he's gained since he left, and his feelings for and relationships with each of the characters involved in the story. at the time that i was writing it, i was also doing a full rewatch of the show, so i think that helped me try to give him more of a distinct voice and tap into his relationship with patrick. lastly, i really love how snarky and sarcastic david is, and how he uses it not just as a shield, but also to express himself to the people he cares about. so while i don't always try to write the narration with a ton of personality, i really tried to do that with this fic so it would ring through.

lastly, i would not have made it all the way to the finish line if it weren't for @landofsonlali @anniemurphys and @januarium, who all gave me lots of handholding and reassurances about my david POV. thank you again!

sex friends (jake/rachel, M)

this fic 100% snuck up on me. @yourbuttervoicedbeau prompted me for 'snowed in,' without a specific pairing or detail, and i had no idea what i would write them – but then they wrote their first jake/rachel fic, and i fell in love.

i'm so honored to think that you thought i did well with rachel! she isn't a character i've really explored all that much – for a while, i didn't fully understand what drew fandom to the character, and i thought it was just the connection to patrick that attracted people. but then i started thinking about her circumstances, and how she's lived her life expecting it to turn out a certain way. that really resonated with my type a anxieties, plus some life upheavals i went through in my 20s when i thought i'd end up with someone completely different than i did 😆 so there i was, suddenly waking up and writing the entire fic in one morning, caught up in Feelings.

also, if you haven't read the whole series yet, give it a whirl!

café tropical (schitt's creek, ON) has 3.96 stars on yelp (alexis/twyla, david/patrick, G)

@yourbuttervoicedbeau had created an amazon workskin for AO3, and all of a sudden i had a vision of what this fic could be. i messaged them to see if they could make a yelp skin, and then i wrote this entire thing in one night while they were coding the skin, and then got up extra early the next morning to apply the code to my fic, calculate the yelp average (lol), and then post it to AO3!

i really wanted to convey a whole found family aspect to the entire town, so i knew i wanted to hear from everyone. i didn't intend to cover the entire canon of the show (and beyond), but then i discovered that i actually kinda... had a plot? as much as that fic has a plot, anyway. (i have a really bad, exhausting tendency to want to rewrite the entirety of canon via fic.) so i kept adding in reviews as little nods to the different episodes, to ground the reader, and then i started adding in reviews from people outside of the show, and then i started having feelings about how the food is supposedly not very good but you see everyone there all the time, and it can't just be because it's the only restaurant in town – it has to have some things that are good (i hope). so then i started having feelings about the café as a general institution, and it all just kept spiraling and spiraling. i'm so proud of how it turned out. it's actually my most kudosed/commented-on fic!

(ask me about a specific scene or fic, or just ask me for director's commentary on anything!)

[fatesdeepdive]

Entry 8: Rinkah’s Burning Loins

My Castle

After fully dedicating ourselves to Hoshido, the game finally really begins. We’re given access to a customizable castle in the Astral Plane where our army waits between battles. We can talk to our units, giving them minor stat boosts or new weapons. Right off the bat, we have a farm and spring to give us resources, rooms for Corrin and Lilith, and a Hall of Records.

In Lilith’s spring, we can feed her to make her level up. Different foods affect her stats in different ways. Note that, although Lilith now has stats, she isn’t usable in battle. Other players can invade our Castle through spotpass, which I’ll discuss in a later entry, and Lilith is only usable in those battles.

Lilith

Lilith is a weird squirrel dragon thing that floats around clutching a random ball. She used to be our stable girl and is now our pet. I think she has a crush on Corrin. Her design is unique and cute, I like it. Gameplay wise, she can only use a modified Physic staff. I don’t dislike her personality, but she feels like a throwaway character added at the last minute. She raises a ton of questions that I doubt will ever be answered.

In the Hall of Records, we can see descriptions of all the units we’ll ever recruit, rewatch cutscenes, read unreadable poems, and play around with a relationship tester. The relationship tester is randomized, by the way, which kinda makes it pointless. That said, it told me that Corrin expects betrayal from Rinkah, while Rinkah’s loins are set afire by Corrin. This is now canon, I have decided.

In Corrin’s room, we can change their hairstyle and invite an ally over to chill. I chose Kaze. He complimented Corrin’s piano skills, which she apparently has, then stared at us, blushing, while thanking us for saving him from Garon.

So, let’s talk about the elephant in the room. In the Japanese version you get to rub units while in close up mode. Like Pokemon Amie except...with people. This was removed in the English version. A lot of Fire Emblem fans were pissed, crying about censorship because Nintendo of America had the gall to remove the minigame where you rub Camila’s tiddies while she moans. And I’m going to say a hot take right now: they made the right call. That stuff was weird and indulgent. It was the living embodiment of the fanservice focussed design that plagues modern Fire Emblem games. Good riddance.

Inviting allies to Corrin’s cool sex treehouse boosts our support levels. I suppose it's time I mentioned that. In Fire Emblem games, units form bonds from fighting next to each other, unlocking short conversations that flesh them out as characters. Units also fight together better when they have high supports. Now, here’s the fun thing about supports:

There are more than 600 supports in this game. Not support conversations, support lines, each of which is made up of three or four conversations. And, because God has cursed me for my hubris and my work is never finished, I’m going to read all of them.

Admittedly, I’m not going to unlock all of them. S-Rank conversations result in marriages and each unit only gets one. It’d take a few dozen playthroughs to get all of Corrin’s S-Rank conversations and I don’t hate myself that much, so I’m reading the transcripts from the wiki. I think I’m going to do four supports per Entry; that’ll leave me with a few extra by the time we reach the end, but I’ll just do a support grab bag entry or something.

Before we do supports, let’s finish up improving the castle. I built a weapon shop and a statue of Corrin that boosts her max speed. We are limited on the number of buildings we can build, but that isn’t a big deal yet because the only other option was to build a stave shop.

Support: Corrin/Rinkah

C: Corrin attempts to discuss battle tactics with Rinkah, but Rinkah blows her off and tells her to stop trying to be friends. Rinkah does acknowledge that Corrin’s authority and that Corrin saved her life, but tells the princess leave her alone.

B: Corrin pesters Rinkah until she explains why she’s so aloof. Rinkah explains that, the Flame Tribe keeps a great flame burning in the center of the village to honor the God of Fire. In the past, outsiders have extinguished the fire. One such instance was followed by a volcanic eruption that decimated the tribe. As a rule, the people of the Flame Tribe are wary of outsiders. Rinkah also explains that she’s working for Hoshido because her father commanded her to, much to her chagrin.

A: Rinkah explains that she would have preferred to die an honorable warrior’s death than be captured and resents Corrin for sparing her. Corrin says that she’s glad Rinkah is still alive, because it means Rinkah and her can be friends. Corrin also says that, despite the chaos of war, she believes in fate and its ability to bring people together. Corrin encourages Rinkah to use this opportunity to learn more about the outside world and bring that knowledge home with her. Rinkah begrudgingly agrees.

This is how the conversation will end on my playthrough, but if Corrin has a penis, you can get an S-Rank proposal conversation. I’ll be listing all of these off along with the normal conversations.

S: Rinkah comes to Corrin, blushing, and tells him that he has been a constant reminder of her shame and regret over being captured. But, over time, these feelings were replaced with love. Love that she hated, because Corrin is an outsider. Corrin says that he’s loved Rinkah since the day they met and only told her to be friendly to other people as an excuse to spend time with her. Rinkah states that, from now on, she will remember her capture as the happiest day of her life and the two get married.

Review: I really like this support line. It expands Rinkah’s backstory and culture, ties it into Corrin’s own isolation and belief in fate, and deals with the tumultuous meeting they had in Chapter 2. The confession comes out of nowhere, admittedly, but I do like Rinkah grappling with her mixed feelings of hate and love. Solid support.

Support: Corrin/Jakob

C: Corrin comes to Jakob to ask for a favor. Jakob interrupts her by humorously listing off the things he would do for Corrin. Things like slay dragons for her, which is actually kinda offensive now that I think about it. Corrin begs Jakob to allow her to be independent and Jakob refuses. Corrin explains that she’s his boss and he tells her that servitude is his reason for living. Jakob explains that, when he started working for Corrin, he was incompetent, and her kindness towards him made him indebted to her. The two compromise on the agreement that Jakob will teach Corrin how to make tea. After Corrin leaves, Jakob mumbles to himself that things might get apocalyptic.

B: Corrin repeatedly tries and fails to make a decent cup of tea. Both of them get some funny lines in, with Corrin telling Jakob that she can’t hear him because she’s ignoring him and Jakob saying that, saying that they’ll run out of leaves before Corrin makes decent tea. They meaning the nation in this case. Corrin eventually makes a passable cup, after Jakob secretly adds in sugar.

A: Jakob admits to Corrin that he messed with her tea and she laughs it off, admitting that she knew all along. She apologizes for being stubborn and accepts that she still needs Jakob’s help sometimes. Jakob says that he falls apart without Corrin. Corrin says that the two of them are alike in that way and Jakob literally faints from joy.

S: Jakob is acting more distant than normal. When Corrin asks him about this, he admits that he’s fallen for her and resigns from his duties as butler, because it is improper for him to have feelings for his mistress. Corrin begs him to say because she needs him and admits that she loves him too. The two of them get embarrassed and Corrin fires Jakob, giving him the new job of husband.

Review: This was a hilarious support that really made me appreciate Jakob’s snarky yet loyal personality. He is the perfect butler. The conflict of Corrin wanting to be independent and Jakob wanting to take care of her is a good dynamic that made me appreciate the relationship between these two characters. I do like them more as a platonic couple than a romantic one, but Jakob quitting his job because falling in love with Corrin is improper is a nice character moment.

Support: Corrin/Kaze

C: A villager gives Kaze a bunch of radishes because he’s super hot. And I mean, he is. Kaze apparently doesn’t realize that he’s hot until Corrin explains it to him. Kaze mentions that he dislikes the attention because he isn’t a good person before running off.

B: Corrin asks Kaze to follow her around so she can figure out what’s bothering him. Kaze says no, so Corrin annoys him until he agrees to hang out with him. Then he runs away again.

A: Kaze admits to Corrin that it was his fault that Garon kidnapped her, because when he was a child, he noticed the Nohrian soldiers that killed Sumeragi were in the city but said nothing about it. I don’t know how that makes Corrin’s kidnapping his fault, you’d expect there to be soldiers guarding a king. And the fact that Kaze was there means that there were also Hoshido soldiers, which means there was no reason to be suspicious of the Nohrians. Also, Kaze was a teenager at the oldest, so he should probably get some leeway. Whatever. Kaze apologizes to Corrin and Corrin, in turn, apologizes for making him live with guilt for fifteen years. Corrin also points out that Kaze led her home, meaning that they’re even now. Kaze compares Corrin to Mikoto because of her kindness and pledges to serve Corrin as her loyal retainer.

S: Corrin and Kaze joke around about Corrin’s kidnapping. It’s cute. Corrin mentions that, now that she’s spent so much time offscreen with Kaze, she likes him even more. Kaze blurts out that he loves Corrin, despite being her bodyguard, and the two propose.

Review: I found this chain a bit lacking, to be honest. The first two conversations were filler and the origin for Kaze’s guilt complex is kinda dumb. Kaze’s relationship with Corrin defines him as a character. He is so guilt ridden over her kidnapping that he would betray his country and his family to protect her. Later parts of the game hinge on this relationship. But, three of their four conversations are dull. I do like Kaze’s guilt complex as a concept, and think becoming Corrin’s retainer alongside Jakob and/or Felicia and a way to repent, but it isn’t enough to save this support line.

Support: Kaze/Rinkah

C: Kaze gets a bunch of candy for being hot and shares it with Rinkah, who secretly loves candy.

B: Kaze continues to give Rinkah candy.

A: Kaze continues to give Rinkah candy.

S: Kaze reveals that he’s been giving Rinkah candy because he’s in love with her.

Review: This one was a big let down. The fact that Kaze and Rinkah are introduced together made me think it would be about their capture, but no. It’s just Kaze giving Rinkah candy for four conversations straight. And it’s cute fluff, but it’s nothing more than that. There is something interesting below the surface with Rinkah hiding her love of candy to protect her image, but it’s never really explored.

So, off to a mixed start with the support conversations.

Birthright Chapter 7: A Vow Upheld

Team Corrin heads to a Hoshidan fort where Sakura is tending to wounded soldiers. We are introduced to Sakura’s retainers, Subaki and Hana. Suddenly, the fort is attacked by Nohrian forces. Corrin and Azura point out the ridiculousness of them attacking immediately after they arrived. Sakura freaks out because the fort is being used as a hospital and has no military value. So apparently Nohr is now being evil just to be evil.

Subaki and Hana agree to help Corrin defend the fort and argue over who’s more important to Sakura, much to her annoyance. Subaki and Hana give me a good opportunity to discuss a few interesting things about classes in this game. First off, unlike in most Fire Emblem games, classes are NOT gender-specific, as demonstrated by Subaki being the first male Pegasus Knight in the series. Secondly, the classic Fire Emblem classes were divided between the two nations. Nohr got Mercenaries, Hoshido got Myrmidons. Nohr got Wyvern Riders, Hoshido got Pegasus Knights. Etc. I really like this, it gives the two countries different feels in combat both aesthetically and mechanically. Finally, a lot of Hoshidan classes were renamed to be more Eastern, shown by Hana being a Samurai instead of a Myrmidon, or by Sakura being a Shrine Maiden instead of a Cleric.

Subaki

Subaki is a Sky Knight, this game’s equivalent of a Pegasus Knight. He can fly over terrain and has good speed and resistance, but is decimated by arrows. His personal skill buffs his hit and avoid when he has full health. Design wise, I like how ridiculously smug he looks. Personality wise, he seems over-competitive yet fiercely loyal to Sakura.

Hana

Hana is a Samurai with high speed and skill. Her personal skill damaged nearby enemies when she scores a kill. Her design is fine, if a little bland. Personality wise, she seems over-competitive yet fiercely loyal to Sakura.

Starting with this chapter, we have a prep menu, where we can choose which units to use and rearrange them on the map. We can bring our whole team in with us, so it’s a little pointless, but it's nice. Worth noting that you can have units start in pair up via this menu, unlike in Awakening where you had to pair them up after the battle started.

At the start of the battle, the chapter’s boss, a Cavalier named Silas, shouts out to Corrin that he’s her childhood best friend. She does not remember him even slightly. Okie dokie.

This map is decent. It’s a bit short, but it features a lot of good bottlenecks. The Dragon Veins can be used to open heal tiles, which is a bit pointless because you have two healers. When Silas and Corrin fight, he reiterates that they used to be friends. Corrin says that she can’t remember her past. And that confuses me, because I was under the impression that she got amnesia when she was taken to Nohr, which would have been before she met Silas. Unless he’s lying.

After the battle, Corrin refuses to kill Silas. She interrogates him about why he was so hesitant to attack them and he explains that, when they were children, he helped Corrin sneak out of the walls to have a picnic. The guards tried to execute Silas for this, but Corrin stopped them, because apparently guards listen to small children. Because of this, Silas feels he owes a debt to Corrin.

Question. Why was this random child allowed to play with the super secret hostage princess? Whatever.

Corrin eventually recovers a vague memory of Silas and asks him to join the gang. She explains that Garon is crazy and evil and that’s enough to make him swap sides. Silas is now officially the most sane character in the game. I mean, he should have probably realized this stuff before being sent to destroy a hospital for shits and giggles, but still.

Also, Silas mentions that Corrin’s favorite food is surf and turf. Perhaps this symbolizes how Corrin is stuck between both kingdoms? Or maybe it’s a random throwaway line. You be the judge!

At the end of the chapter, Saizo and a new character named Orochi show up, wounded, and report that Takumi and Ryoma have gone missing. Uh oh.

Team Corrin decide to help search for the missing princes. Sakura decides to come along, despite Corrin and Kaze’s objections. Silas also decides to come along and Saizo points out that he totally could be a spy or traitor. He’s a dick, but he is infinitely smarter than Kaze.

[sage-nebula]

Neo: The World Ends With You - Thoughts So Far

I’m on Day 6 of Week 1 and I want to compile my thoughts so far — not in a formal post, but at least all in one place, especially since I feel that jotting down what I think / feel as I go through will help me write my review when I’m done. Spoilers under the cut, obviously — and while it should go without saying, do NOT comment on this post with spoilers from later in the game, so help me. Even if I pose a question that gets answered later on — hell, especially if I do — don’t tell me. I don’t want to know. I will find out in my own time.

With that said . . .

So obviously, I’m really enjoying it so far. You can tell that the writers / devs haven’t lost their touch despite it being thirteen years since the first game was made. You can also tell that a lot of love went into this; this isn’t something they churned out just to make money (if they thought this was a moneymaker we wouldn’t have had to wait 13 freaking years for the sequel), but rather something they really, really wanted to make. Not a total passion project, because those aren’t allowed in the world of capitalism, but there is still a lot of love there. 

That said, more specific thoughts:

THE MUSIC. It doesn’t really come as a surprise given that TWEWY’s soundtrack was phenomenal, but god, they brought it right back for this game. The remixes (“Someday”, “Three Minutes Clapping”, “Transformation”, “The One Star” etc) are all excellent, but the new tracks are phenomenal too. Tbh I’m not sure how any of the Players get any fighting done when the music makes you want to just bust a move right there in the scramble. It’s so good.

Most of the characters are great too. Of the Wicked Twisters, I think Fret is my favorite; he is pure of heart, dumb of ass, and I love that for him. I do like Rindo too, of course, and his habit of overthinking everything (since Fret has zero brain cells, Rindo has to make up for it), but him being standoffish / socially anxious and snarky makes him feel a bit like a toned down Neku, so he doesn’t catch my interest quite as much. And while I do like Nagi, the way she speaks in like . . . medieval-esque language is a bit off-putting. In particular it’s weird that Rindo didn’t tell her to knock it off with the “Lord Rindo” stuff since using such an honorific would be considered awkward / embarrassing in Japanese. I guess he’s just too socially anxious / awkward to tell her to stop, but it’s still a bit distracting.  Other than that, I’m really not a fan of Kubo (one of the Reapers) or . . . Susukichi, I think his name is? The leader of the Ruinbringers. I find them both to be pretty annoying, haha. But I love Shoka, as well as Kanon, and Motoi is a good bean, too. As for the Deep River Society . . . those nerds have issues lmao. Especially their leader. Although I can’t fault him for breaking down sobbing when he realizes that he now stands a very good chance of getting erased, which reminds me . . .

HOW ARE WE ON DAY SIX AND THE WICKED TWISTERS STILL HAVE NO IDEA WHAT BEING ERASED IS?? We have kind of an inverse situation where where Neku knew right away that he would get erased if he failed the missions / didn’t win the Game, but didn’t find out until later that he was dead. Here, the Wicked Twisters learn that they’re dead fairly quickly (and Fret has some realistic denial going on about it at first, though he gets over it pretty quickly), but they’re still completely in the dark about the fact that their souls will get wiped from existence if they lose despite erasure being mentioned at least a handful of times. Like I guess it was never spelled out for them, but especially as someone who played the first game about a million times, it’s a bit maddening to see them be like, “Why is he crying like his life is on the line? lol whatevs no big deal la di da!” Since the Wicked Twisters aren’t aware of the stakes, a new player wouldn’t be either, and so it rather tones down the urgency that was felt in the original game where everyone was very much aware that they were fighting for their right to exist.

Since I brought up Motoi, I want to say that I just played past the part where he reveals that he was An0ther, who is apparently Rindo’s favorite blogger / poet. I feel like this is meant to be similar to how Hanekoma was CAT, Neku’s favorite artist, but it doesn’t carry the same impact because a.) as far as we know An0ther didn’t have anything to do with how Rindo died; b.) we haven’t seen Rindo bring An0ther or his poetry up that much, much less have anything An0ther said be his entire life’s mantra; c.) we haven’t gotten to know Motoi that well either. Like we met him once before this revelation. That said I’m not sure it was supposed to have the same impact as the Hanekoma = CAT reveal, but if it was then it did fall short. (Also I saw it coming the second Motoi quoted An0ther lmao.)

Speaking of Hanekoma, WHERE IS MY MANS??? I know he has to show up at some point because if I’m not mistaken we saw him in the trailers. And if I am mistaken then he still has to show up at some point because he played a central role in the “A New Day” epilogue chapter of Final Remix, what with Coco being unable to control him and him knowing what was going on, plus he was testing Neku for something in “Another Day” and that has to be whatever is going on in this game. I’m sure he’ll come in for some big reveal later, but like, we have a new street artist in this game (MKN) with no mention of CAT as of yet, and I’m just like . . . where is he. Where is my mans. What is he doing. Bring him to me.

That said, we already got to see my #2 mans (Kariya♥) so I am happy about that at least. 

Back to my mans for a hot second: I actually erased my demo save data and started fresh to remind myself of everything when I got the game, and idk if it was in the demo or not, but regardless—at the end of the demo portion there’s this shot of the sky and then this nameless voice is like, “It’s finally starting. I hope you wake up soon. I don’t want you to miss all the action.” My current guess is that the speaker was Hanekoma, speaking to Joshua. Joshua being “asleep” would explain why the Game is as screwed up as it is right now, what with it having been going on for a year and people able to choose to play again and again and again while the rest of the Players—who tbh should also be counted as winners if they survive the week!—are trapped in limbo.

Because that’s the thing: I know that it was partially a lie to cover for the fact that Joshua’s game with Megumi was set to last three weeks, but at the end of the third week Megumi told Neku that a new rule was being put in place that wouldn’t allow repeats of the Game anymore. But even setting that aside, in the original Shibuya UG rules, anyone who survived the Game could get a wish at the end, whether that was to be brought back to life or made into a Reaper. This is why at the end of Week 1, the three winners were Neku, Shiki, and Beat. However, here the Ruinbringers are able to keep everyone trapped and they have been trapped for at least a year, given what Motoi said. It’s completely different rules and I’m sure that this has something to do with the fact that the majority of the Reapers we’ve seen so far are from Shinjuku (at least going by the spoilery trailer, and iirc it was confirmed in “A New Day” that Coco was from Shinjuku actually, but it’s been a while so I could be wrong about that).

Speaking of, has anyone noticed that the possibly-Shinjuku Reapers don’t have wings? No?

ALSO speaking of Coco, at least tangentially: Coco was the one who revived Minamimoto at the end of “A New Day”. However, he’s definitely not how I would have expected. Like despite Coco using the Taboo Noise sigil to bring him back, he’s clearly not in his Taboo form. He’s using psychs as a Player would, rather than a Reaper. And while it’s clear he’s up to some form of nonsense, it’s unclear exactly what form of nonsense he’s up to. I know that he’s here for fanservice and that him looking like Nagi’s bias from Elegant Strategy is a tongue-in-cheek nod to that, but I have too much faith in this series to think that’s all this is. I’m wondering if being revived for a second time fixed whatever screws were loose in his head before? Or if he was revived as a human Player by like, Joshua or something? (Although why Joshua would do that I have no idea. Maybe Hanekoma instead?) Hmmm . . .

Small aside, but we all know that Nagi has put herself into hundreds of thousands of yen in debt for Tomonami merch lolol RIP Nagi. (I’m also interpreting that she’s not actually older than Rindo or Fret, but she just skipped a bunch of grades. Like I feel like this might have been lost in translation a bit, and that she’s a senpai to them because she’s in uni but she’s not actually older than them. I could be wrong but that’s how I’m interpreting it right now. She just doesn’t look or act older than them.)

Oh another minor annoyance, but whether it’s due to the partial 3D environment or something else, I’m SO ANNOYED that some of the streets aren’t connecting as they should now. Like, how going in the direction of Molco spits you out at Spain Hill or 104 or whatever? I don’t remember exactly what area it was, but it wasn’t Molco!! I’m sure if I hadn’t played the original a million times like a loser this wouldn’t be such a big deal to me, but I have and it is lmao. Also, they’ve had the Shibuya Underpass / Cat Street blocked off this whole time and I’m like :( let me go to Cat Street :( let me see my mans

I’m relieved that Ken Doi is still making delicious food and I look forward to his ramen curry fusion. I was really upset about RamenDon being gone at first but as long as Ken Doi is still around I am happy.

My dinner just arrived so this is all I have to say for now, but I will update more as I play more. I love this game and I’m so happy to be back in Shibuya, even if the characters pronounce it wrong sometimes (saying “ShiBOOya” like pls . . . you are supposed to be Japanese . . . get it right . . .)

[halothenthehorns]

The Life that Never Lived

TALONS AND TEA LEAVES

I can never say enough, how much I thank you all for the constant reviews and support I get just from watching the views shoot up every time I check. You are the reason I do this!

HPHP

"Can we please have lunch now," James groaned, rubbing at his stomach and eyeing Lily hopefully before Harry could start.

"Oh yes, alright," Lily sighed, then asked, "would one of you go get the baby please."

Sirius jumped to his feet and did as asked, while Harry followed his Mom into the kitchen, badgering her about letting him help this time. She finally relented, leaving Remus and James in

rather awkward silence.

Remus got to his feet and shuffled awkwardly for a second, then gestured vaguely to the kitchen as he began,"ah, guess I'll-"

"I'm not mad at you Remus," James interrupted, patting his hands on his knees with nerves and not exactly looking over at him. "It's not like it's really your responsibility to look after him-"

"But I still should have done something," Remus cut off, temper at himself beginning to rise again. He didn't really get mad at too much, liking to think of himself as a rather laid back person, but his own actions had set him on edge like he had just found out his future self had dumped Harry at the Dursleys.

"Like what?" Sirius asked, making the pair turn and see Sirius leaning against the door, the baby cradled in his arms.

Remus cast his mind around before offering, "gotten Dumbledore to set up somewhere I could have seen Harry, even if it was infrequently it would have been better than nothing."

Lily and Harry made their reappearance, Lily catching on at once and cutting in, "sorry Remus, but I don't see that happening."

"Why not?" both James and Sirius huffed, since this had been something they had both been thinking.

"Well think about it," Lily snapped. "You're sitting there blaming one of your best friends for something that even Dumbledore or Hagrid didn't do! No one had been there to check on Harry since he was left there, or worse Dumbledore knew and did nothing. Why I still can't imagine, but I still haven't forgiven him for what these books have implied he did back during Harry's first year, so lay off someone who might not have even been given a say in the matter."

Sirius opened, then closed his mouth and turned his attention back to the baby, rather shamefully scuttling into the kitchen to get the kid his food. James shifted his weight around, but nodded and caught Remus' eye saying honestly, "okay, true. I am sorry for, ah, being mad."

Remus hesitated, rocking back on his heels and still looking up to arguing the point anyways, then gave a dark laugh at the irony he was still holding this against himself when clearly no one else was. Now more curious than anything, he persisted, "has anyone stopped to question why though? What exactly was Dumbledore thinking when he cut off Harry like that? Remember how we thought ol' Mrs. Figg might be the same from the Order, and all those random people Harry saw when he was younger. Why didn't he grow up with someone telling him what was going on?"

"Dumbledore explained that in the first chapter," Harry reminded, "said he didn't want me growing up knowing my fame and all."

"I get that," he waved off, "and I'm not saying there's an easy way to explain that to you at any age, but if you'd grown up knowing it, been treated as a normal child and not a hero like someone should have while explaining this to you-" he finished giving a suggestive look to Lily like he expected her to give a counterargument.

She didn't though, no one did. They all saw a leader in Dumbledore, someone to be respected and not questioned too deeply, but this was Harry they were talking about. Had he really done something to make sure Remus didn't do exactly this? If so, then that truly was going to tick them all off, where did he get the authority to do that?

Harry was gently testing his feelings, trying not to pry too deeply as he pondered if he'd ever really been given an answer to this. He was still sure his headmaster explained to him more

properly about these types of things later in life, but had Remus been mentioned during this? He didn't think so, and now almost hoped he had asked at some point.

With nothing else to say on the matter, they ate lunch in relative comfort, and after they were done Sirius insisted he wanted to keep the baby around again. They were all confident nothing to bad should happen to Harry this year, so no one protested as Sirius began one of the toddler's favorite

games, and started releasing colorful puffs of smoke from his wand while he used his chubby fists to clutch at them, random peals of laughter erupting all around.

Harry took one more moment to capture this, looking around at his family and determined to keep this very image in his mind for the rest of his life, before starting his chapter.

The next morning at breakfast, the first thing they saw was Malfoy seemingly entertaining some of Slytherin house with an amusing story.

"Highly doubt it was actually that funny," Sirius said in a goofy voice since he was still mostly entertaining the kid.

As they were walking by, he pretended to faint, to cheering laughing.

"Wow, Sirius was right," Remus rolled his eyes.

"First time for everything," James grinned.

Hermione just told Harry to ignore the lot of them, it wasn't worth retaliating.

"Easier said than done," Harry grumbled.

Another of Malfoy's gang, Pansy Parkinson, caught sight of Harry and jeered at him that the dementors were coming for him.

Harry ground his teeth together in annoyance for a moment, but then Sirius gave a snarky laugh and demanded, "was she actually trying to scare you, because that was pathetic."

Harry slammed into his chair next to George, who asked what was wrong with him. Ron explained just as Malfoy set up another uproar of laughter again at the Slytherin table with his fainting act.

"Probably caught sight of his own reflection," James grumbled.

George called him a git,

"My sentiments exactly," Remus smirked.

stating that he hadn't acted nearly so cocky when the dementors had been near them. Fred agreed that he'd come running into their compartment with wet pants.

"Now there's something I would have liked to see," Sirius grinned, still not completely over his disgust at the beasts, but pretty sure he'd tolerate them just to watch that.

Both of the twins agreed those dementors hadn't made them feel any better, but Harry morosely asked if they'd passed out during their experience. George told Harry to cheer up, no one could act very well with those things around, remembering when their dad had to go out and visit Azkaban once, and he'd come back to the house shaking.

James grimaced and nodded in disgust, having personally never been there himself, but knowing someone else who had that came back in the same way.

Fred agreed that dementors had the effect of draining happiness out of anything, and that most of the prisoners went crazy while there.

Sirius refused to let his mood drop back down at this nasty little reminder, continuing his own personal game with the baby, which made the others realize all the more why he had insisted on wanting him down here.

Then he added on a happier subject Malfoy wouldn't be acting like this long once the first Quidditch game came around, Gryffindor versus Slytherin.

"How could I forget," James smiled, distracted at once from keeping an eye on Sirius to make sure he really was okay.

"I want that chapter," Sirius said at once. "I haven't gotten any of them!"

"Well you can have it," Remus said in disgust, "cause I'm rather sick of them at this point."

"Cheer up Moony," James said with a shrug, "yeah those past ones were awful, but there's no way anything like that can happen again this year. I'm sure Harry will finally have a good game."

He finished with more hope than he should have, rather annoyed that his son couldn't seem to go one year without something bad happening.

This did lighten the mood when Harry remembered his only past game against Malfoy, where the blond had lost quite poorly.

"There's a pick me up," Lily smiled indulgently, still personally feeling she'd rather pull Harry from the team altogether, but it was clear he enjoyed the game as much as any of these boys. She didn't have quite as much faith as them that everything was going to be peachy this year, but she hoped as well.

In a much better mood now, he turned eagerly to his breakfast as Hermione began looking at her schedule for this year, stating they had some new classes. Ron was peeking over her shoulder though, and began laughing that she'd been over scheduled, there wasn't enough time for all that.

Harry was blinking in puzzled shock and confusion, and then looked around to see the others were as well. What on earth could Ron have said that felt so significant to him?

"Can she really have just doubled up her schedule like that?" Lily asked with interest.

"I don't see how," Remus shrugged. "Like Ron said, there really isn't enough time in the day for all of that."

"Then what's she playing at?" Sirius demanded.

They all shrugged, at a complete loss, and Harry continued eagerly hoping for a better answer.

Hermione said she'd worked it out with McGonagall,

"Well that explained nothing," James grumped.

but Ron was persistent as he pointed out some of the flaws, like how at nine o'clock she had both Divination and Muggle Studies at the same time, which repeated with some more of her classes down the list.

"That's impossible though, right?" Harry asked, ruffling up his brows with confusion and annoyance that he really thought he should know the answer to that.

The four of them exchanged stunned looks. Not as impossible as Harry might think, but time magic was a very obscure thing, hardly anyone understood it properly, and those that did, didn't share willingly. For Hermione to have gotten a hold of something like it, even with McGonagall's assent, was mind blowing to them all.

After a bit more of a pause, Lily said slowly, "well, no, not impossible dear. Very ah, very hard to pull off, but not undoable."

"How?" Harry persisted, getting rather eager now they really might know.

"Can't say for sure," James said, running his hand through his hair in confusion. "It's not something any of us have knowledge about, correct me if I'm wrong." He finished with a hopeful

look at his friends.

They however, both shrugged and agreed with the couple. Sirius thought he had once heard of something odd in time magic happening to an Unspeakable, but it had been from a girl in a bar months ago, so he couldn't actually remember the details now. Something about a girl, named Eloise Mintumble, dang what had happened to her again?

Harry nodded in understanding and deflated a bit, knowing it wouldn't do any good to continue pestering them about something they couldn't answer. He did ask though, "but, what if you

wanted to take Arithmancy and Divination, if they really happen at the same time is it just not allowed?"*

"Well no," Lily said fairly, "you'd have to rearrange your schedule and possibly take it without your normal classmates, like Hermione would attend Divination one day and most likely take Arithmancy with perhaps the Ravenclaw students instead of her usual house, and that would have explained it if she wasn't taking three at once. There really just isn't enough time to work all of that in. Plus, it would have been marked on her schedule as such, not the way Professor McGonagall worked it up."

Ron was laughing, saying she couldn't be in both places at once, but Hermione told him he was being silly, she wouldn't be doing that.

"Yes, Ron's the one being silly," Lily rolled her eyes.

He tried to keep arguing, but Hermione wouldn't have it, telling him to get on with his breakfast.

"Wow, she really wants him to let this go," Remus said with a frown.

"And I really hope Ron doesn't let her," James replied with the same frown.

Ron tried one last time, but Hermione snapped at him that what was it to him if she had a full plate this year?

"Because it's weird," Sirius insisted, not that anyone here needed him to remind them of that.

She'd fixed it with her head of house. Hagrid walked in then, carrying a dead polecat.

"Well that's not encouraging," Lily frowned in concern.

"A bit ominous," James agreed in surprise. They really did like Hagrid, but his few experiences with Harry and his pets hadn't ended well so far.

"Don't fret you two," Remus rolled his eyes, "Hagrid can handle anything in that class."

He spotted the trio and told them how excited he was, that they were going to be in his first ever class, and he really hoped it went well.

"So do I," Lily muttered.

Then he walked away towards breakfast, still brimming over at how happy he was to be a teacher, with the dead polecat hanging limply from his hand.

"That, I will admit, is kind of gross," Sirius wrinkled up his nose. "Eating with that thing on the table."

Ron couldn't help a bit of unease as he asked what Hagrid could be doing,

"See," James nodded, "we're not the only ones."

but they realized they'd have to wait for later to find out, as they had Divination to get to, which was up in the North Tower.

"Well glad we get to see this new class," Remus said eagerly. He didn't think much of the future seeing magic, but he wasn't exactly against it either.

"Sorry it had to be so far away though," Sirius grimaced in disgust.

They called a goodbye to the twins, but couldn't exit the hall without Malfoy giving one more performance.

"That's not even funny," James snapped. "If he's going to mock you, at least come up with something better than a three-year old's act."

"James," Lily said severely, wondering if he'd just realized he'd said picking on their son was okay.

"What?" he snapped right back. "You can't stop children from picking on each other Lily, the world doesn't work like that."

The two sat there for a few moments giving each other moody looks, so Harry just decided to read on and hope to ignore this.

Harry could hear people's continued laughter ringing up the stairs.

"Glad to see the whole house has the same sense of humor," Sirius said in disgust, "has to make Malfoy feel better about himself somehow."

Even after two years in this school, they still didn't know every passage of this castle,

"Seven won't either," Remus grinned, finally finding a lighter topic to discuss. "In fact, I'm pretty sure there's no one who actually knows every secret about this school."

and they had never been up to the North Tower before.

"We did, back when it wasn't being used," James nodded. "Peter found the entrance to it, and we kind of used it as a secret meeting place sometimes." Privately keeping out where else they tended to spend their free time. Harry did know about the Shrieking Shack, but not how to get there.

"Wonder what they did to it now it's a classroom," Sirius said eagerly.

Ron was begging for someone to show them a shortcut,

"There are a few," Remus nodded, "but either way, it is a long walk."

as they climbed up the seventh staircase, winding up on an unfamiliar bit of corridor, with a nice painting of a green landscape.

"Oh I remember this nutter," Sirius smirked, now watching Harry eagerly to see how he reacted.

Hermione pointed down one corridor,

Remus leaned in and whispered in Sirius' ear, "if only they had some sort of map to help."

Sirius nodded eagerly, but Harry didn't notice the exchange.

but Ron looked the way she was pointing and said that had to be south, as the lake was visible from there.

"Credit to him for noticing that," Lily said in approval.

Harry had no idea, and was simply enjoying the magical painting. As he watched, a gray pony came trotting onto the scene, and began happily chewing up the grass. While Harry was long used to the magical paintings of the wizarding world going about, he still loved to watch it.

"Agreed," James nodded, "I always find something interesting to talk to them about."

The way he said it made it quite clear these talks weren't always wholesome, but Harry was laughing lightly so Lily didn't see the point in demanding details.

As he kept staring, a tiny man came charging onto the scene dressed as a knight, armor and all. He stopped next to what was obviously his horse, doubling over and panting. The green stains on his knees showed he had recently fallen off of said horse.

"Bet his attitude hasn't improved any," Remus rolled his eyes.

"I'd be more worried if it did," Sirius shrugged, "he is a painting, their behaviour shouldn't change too much."

He caught sight of the three of them, and pulled a sword out that was much too big for him, calling them several ye old names and demanding a fight.

By then the three boys were laughing in both remembrance at their own interactions with Cadogan, and Harry's astonished look at the little painting. Only Lily didn't really know how to

feel just now, not used to this rather exuberant nature from a painting.

Even as he did though, he swung his sword that was bigger than him just that little to far and it swung into the ground point first, while the painting landed face first next to it. Harry asked if he was okay,

"You are so sweet," Lily smiled at her son, which only increased the boy's laughter all the more at Harry's concern for a painting.

but the painting wouldn't be pandered and got back to his feet, tried to wrench his sword out of the ground to no effect, then sat back on the grass. Harry jumped in with the question if he knew where the North Tower was.

"That'll get his attention," Remus nodded approvingly.

The knight's mood changed at once upon hearing they were on a quest, and shouted they could follow him through any deadly adventure to find this place.

James opened his mouth to say something, but then quickly closed it again. He didn't seem to find mocking death that funny anymore.

Then he ran right out of the side of his painting, the three of them scrambling to keep up as he continued in this way, only keeping track of him as he pelted through every painting shouting of the adventures this could lead to. They briefly caught sight of him jumping through a painting full of well dressed women,

"Bet he wouldn't have minded staying in that painting a bit longer," Remus whispered, making

Sirius release a surprised snort of laughter, making the baby in his lap giggle anew.

startling the lot of them though he showed no care as he continued leading them up a spiralling staircase. When they finally reached the landing, he praised at what fun they'd had, and told them that if they needed any more help with these things to simply give Sir Cadogan a call.

"He's certainly handy to have around," Lily said in some unease, still finding him rather odd.

"Plenty entertaining to," James smirked.

Ron agreed they'd do just that, if they ever needed anyone mental.

"You'd be surprised how often someone mental can come in handy," Sirius grinned.

They looked around to find a few other students in their year mulling around, while Harry looked at his schedule again and told that their Professors name was Sybill Trelawney, but where was she? The moment he said that, a staircase fell from the ceiling, ending right at Harry's feet.

"She seems to enjoy a show," Lily said in amusement.

Harry went up first, and found himself in a circular room, with tiny tables and beanbags all around the room, the curtains keeping the room in permanent shadows and the fireplace flickering with mystery.

"At least it sounds comfortable," Sirius grinned, "much better than those stools in the other classrooms."

"I would have fallen asleep in there for sure," Remus rolled his eyes.

The room was already boiling, and there was some smell lingering around the room seemingly coming from a teakettle.

"You're actually starting to make me sleepy just thinking about it," Sirius nodded in agreement.

Along the walls were dusty books, crystal balls, and many other mystical objects. Ron had climbed up next to Harry, and whispered where the teacher was, and his answer came from a whispering voice behind them, welcoming them all while stating it was nice to see them in the physical world for the first time.

Lily rolled her eyes indulgently, she'd clearly pegged this woman right about putting on a show.

They turned to find a woman, stout and covered in thick green shawls wrapped all around her. She wore many golden bangles and heavy such jewellery, with round glasses that gave her the appearance of a gleaming insect when she blinked. She made her way to one ornately done overstuffed chair and instructed the rest of the students filling in to take a seat. She then introduced herself, and explained that they'd never seen her before because she disliked going into the rest of the world, it tended to obscure her Inner Eye.

"Explains why we didn't even know who she was before now," James nodded.

"Think she really does have an Inner Eye?" Sirius asked with amusement.

"She clearly thinks she does," Remus pointed out, causing all of them to laugh again.

Harry and Lily couldn't help but notice how giggly the lot of them were being, and wondered if this was how they normally made up a fight, making a lot of idiotic jokes at each other.

There was no comment to this, so she continued by saying that she was pleased they'd all chosen Divination, as it was the hardest of any magic to learn.

"Now that was just a bit pompous," Lily scoffed.

"All teachers think their branch is the hardest," James agreed.

She did warn though that this class was selective, you must have Sight to progress. Books weren't going to be of much help here.

"Sounds like a loaded class if you ask me," Sirius raised his brow in surprise, "if the teachers already saying she can't teach you much."

Harry and Ron couldn't help but shoot a laughing look at a surprised Hermione.

"I can see where that would bother her," Lily nodded.

Trelawney was still talking of how other wizards were good at making banging noises, smells, and disappearing,

"Are those actual fields of magic," James asked between loud bursts of laughter, "because I think Sirius is most proficient in the smells!"

Remus muttered something under his breath that caused all three of them to continue laughing like idiots. Harry waited indulgently until they had subsided before continuing.

but her branch was much more focused on the mind and mystics of life. Then she turned on Neville, and demanded to know how his grandmother was doing? Neville's lip trembled slightly as he said that last he'd heard she was fine, and Trelawney warned him not to be complacent with that.

Now they were frowning, not finding that remotely funny. Why on earth would this woman say something like that to a child?

Trelawney turned away again like nothing had happened, and began listing some of the things they'd be learning this year, before cutting herself off again and turning on Parvati Patil, warning her to be weary of a redhead.

"What does Ron do to her?" Sirius chuckled.

"Might not be Ron," Remus reminded, "one of the Weasley twins might pull something on her later."

Parvati gave a fearful look at Ron and began edging away from him.

Lily made a little 'pfft' noise in disbelief.

Again Trelawney kept talking like this was perfectly normal, predicting that come February classes would thin out a little due to illnesses, and come Easter someone would leave them for good.

"Well she's just going to be buckets of fun huh?" Sirius snickered.

Harry puzzled why he felt like Trelawney was right, but shrugged and kept going.

Then she turned on Lavender, who tensed up, but the teacher merely asked her to go and fetch the teapot on the shelf. Lavender looked plenty relieved,

"Can't blame her at this point," James nodded, still smirking, "she probably thought she'd get the next death omen."

and she did this, but before she could return to her seat, Trelawney clutched her hand and told her the thing she feared, would happen on Friday the sixteenth of October.

"That poor girl," Lily frowned. "Why would she say something like that?"

"Like you said," Remus shrugged. "I think she's enjoying scaring them. When that Friday comes and goes, and nothing happens, I'm sure these kids will realize they're being played."

"Kind of wishing I'd taken Arithmancy now," Harry grumbled, more annoyance coming up the more he heard about this new teacher. He also had a vague feeling, like she did something really important to his life, or perhaps said something to him? It was such a little thing he didn't really even register it underneath all the grumbling.

Then she addressed the class on their lesson for the day, telling them they were all to drink a cup of tea, swirl the dregs around, and consult their text on what they could mean. Before they could begin, she said to Neville that after he broke his first cup, to not grab one of the pink ones next.

"That's self-fulfilling prophecy," Lily pointed out, "if you say something like that, it's bound to happen."

"So none of you really believes in this stuff?" Harry clarified.

"I think psychics exist," Sirius shrugged, lounging back comfortably. "I had a Great Aunt that was one, she actually did these same kinds of things and had my brother and I going for ages. This Trelawney woman in particular? Nah, she's enjoying herself more than anything."

"So, was your aunt really psychic, or pulling the wool over a couple of naive kids?" Remus asked.

"Both," Sirius grinned, "Dad swears she made a real prophecy to him when he was younger. Never did tell me what it was though, but the way he said it, yeah I believed him."

"Well, aside from Sirius and his gullible nature, no, I don't think any of us believe this," James grinned.

"I'm not gullible," Sirius snapped right back. "Prophecies really do exist!"

"Moving on," Lily rolled her eyes at the pair.

Not ten minutes later, there came the distinct noise of breaking glass, and Trelawney descended on him with a broom and a reminder she favoured the pink cups, and not to grab one of those.

"Well that was fast," Remus remarked.

Harry and Ron had some difficulty gulping down their hot drink,

"At least there's a bonus to this class," Lily grinned.

but finished and did as instructed, Harry flipping through his pages as Ron passed over his cup. Ron asked what Harry was seeing, and Harry just muttered a bunch of brown crap.

All four of them released surprised snorts of laughter at Harry's sass, he clearly wasn't taking this class very seriously, though none of them said it in fear of eliciting a joke from Sirius.

He couldn't help but feel heavy eyed within the dark room and thick smells of the class, making his brain drag.

"Sure she does that on purpose," James nodded.

Perhaps Trelawney heard this, as she called the class to open their minds to the supernatural, block out the mundane of the world.

"Think she heard that, or just good timing?" Sirius asked.

"Timing," Lily shrugged, "Harry can't be the only one who's thinking that."

Harry gave himself a shake then, and took a real crack at finding images while telling Ron that he found a messed up cross, which according to the book meant Ron was going to have a suffering trail, but there was also the sun in there, which meant he was going to be happy about it.

"Sounds like life," James rolled his eyes, "so sorry to Ron for living."

Ron told Harry he needed to get his Inner Eye tested.

None of the boys bothered to stifle their laughter one bit, even Lily was giggling and said to James, "Ron just beat you out of a joke dear."

"I'll forgive him," James chuckled, still bright-eyed.

Ron went for Harry's cup next, saying he first saw a bowler hat, and thinking this meant Harry was going to be the next minister! Then he caught sight of an acorn, which apparently meant money was coming his way.

"An acorn means gold?" Remus demanded. "What exactly does that book translate?"

"You let me know if you figure it out," Harry smirked.

Then he kept spinning it, saying he found something like an animal, maybe a hippo, or a sheep.

"Ron just went from a hippo to a sheep," Remus smirked, "can't imagine what either of those things mean."

Trelawney overheard that, and came over snatching Harry's cup away from Ron while spinning it counter clockwise.

"Did she say to turn it counter clockwise like that?" James snickered. "I don't think she said to do that. Could have saved a bit of confusion."

What she found was a falcon, which meant Harry had an enemy.

"Wow, thanks, I was trying to forget that for five minutes," Lily huffed.

"How did she get a falcon from a hippo?" Sirius demanded of nothing.

Hermione was frowning at her, telling that everyone knew that, as Harry was famous for being against You-Know-Who.

"I love Hermione," Lily beamed, "that girl keeps everyone in perspective."

"She is good to have around," Remus agreed with just a hint of admiration at this girl saying something like that to a teacher. James said as much out loud in amazement, none of them having

guessed it would be this girl who would make a smart comment like that to any adult.

Then Sirius defended her, saying, "now remember what got them to be friends in the first place? Hermione's clearly willing to do a lot, like lie, to defend Harry and Ron."

Harry was smiling, more than pleased his family didn't seem to find either of his friends annoying like he knew some of the kids at school had.

Trelawney ignored her, still eyeing Harry's cup as she found a club, which meant he was going to be attacked soon, muttering to herself how this was not a happy cup.

"Well I've never met an unhappy one so I'll believe you," Sirius smirked.

Ron muttered how he'd thought that part was the bowler hat.

"How do you get a club and a hat twisted?" James burst out laughing.

Then she found a skull, that danger was creeping up on Harry. Finally her eyes spotted something else that made her scream.

"Well she's certainly got their attention," Lily said, raising a brow in surprise.

Neville's hand twitched so hard in shock he broke his new cup.

"Guess she didn't see that coming," Remus smirked.

Trelawney sat down in the nearest chair, closing her eyes in shock.

"She's really hamming this up isn't she," Sirius noted.

She was begging Harry not to ask what she'd seen,

Harry rolled his eyes and said, "as if the whole class wouldn't ask after that little scene." He remembered the sinking feeling of attention as all of the students got up to go around them.

but Dean did anyways, trying to look into Harry's cup himself now. Trelawney gathered herself up and whispered that she'd seen the Grim.

Sirius lost it. Still holding the baby to him, he continued laughing and blinking tears out of his eyes as he realized just how accurate that sentence was. James and Remus weren't much better.

"A giant, black, Scottish Deerhound is going to be tailing you for the rest of your life now," Lily nodded in approval, "well she's got that one right."

"I- told you-" James said between gasping breaths, "we should have- call-called him Grim!"

"And I told you," Remus rebutted, massaging his ribs and trying very hard not to continue laughing as he said, "we should have called him Cloud. It's got a better theme."**

"I like Padfoot," Sirius sniffed, "I think Peter had it better saying we should nickname more after the animals."

"Which is why you two won the vote," James agreed.

Harry was very curious and wanted to ask what other nicknames they might have considered, but decided to ask that later. ***

Harry had never heard of it, along with a couple of other students, but some like Ron looked just as shocked as Trelawney, who explained that it was the spectral dog of death.

"I'm rather flattered she thinks so much of me," Sirius smirked.

"You're so big headed," Lily rolled her eyes at him, "you think every black dog in the world relates to you."

Harry felt his stomach leave him, remembering again that black dog he'd seen the night he'd run away from the Dursleys.

Remus muttered something that made Sirius snicker again, and James release another snort of laughter.

Hermione was looking herself now, and told that she didn't think it looked like a Grim at all.

"Ha!" James laughed, eyes gleaming with continued mirth. "Hermione's going to be the buzz kill to this class, isn't she?" He didn't sound very sorry about it.

"Well this class obviously needs one to keep them from exaggerating," Lily nodded in agreement.

Trelawney finally regained all of her composure, and looked at Hermione with akin to dislike.

"A first for both Hermione and a teacher I'm sure," Sirius nodded.

She told Hermione that she had a very poor aura, and didn't see much for her future predicting skills.

"Was that supposed to be insulting?" Harry asked.

"I guess," Remus shrugged.

Seamus was still looking at the cup, twisting his head from side to side and squinting as he said it sort of looked like a Grim when he did that, then cocking his head the other way and stating but now it looked like a donkey.

The boys almost lost it again, snickering away while Lily continued to giggle as well and state, "if you have to do that much to figure it out, it's hardly a good sign."

Harry couldn't help but smile indulgently at all of them. Back then he knew his thirteen-year-old self had been equally scared and annoyed by this, but watching his family mock the whole

instance actually did put a funny spin on it. It also helped to know what exactly had been dogging him this year, and that he obviously wasn't going to die anytime soon.

Harry lost his patience, telling the class that if they were all done deciding whether or not he was going to die.

"Oh, snappy," James smirked.

"Nice little reality check moment," Lily chuckled.

Nobody would look him in the eye to respond.

"Oh please," Sirius rolled his eyes, "these students are so easy."

Trelawney decided that was enough of class today, and gave them all an early dismissal. Harry and his two friends made to leave, though he couldn't help but notice Ron was avoiding his eye as well.

"Oh, not Ron to," Remus groaned.

"Well he did grow up learning about Grims and such," James nodded fairly. "Remember how Peter flipped out when he first saw Sirius, called him a Grim too. It can be a little shocking at

first."

"I think they're just being superstitious kids," Sirius snorted, rather siding with Remus on this one.

Before they could leave though, Trelawney gave Neville one last warning that he would be late again on the next class, so do some extra studying.

Lily rolled her eyes in contempt, this woman really was going to get on her nerves, wasn't she?

They left and made their way to the next class, Transfiguration.

"Well that was a fun first class," Sirius said with chipper.

"Honestly can't wait for the next one," Remus agreed.

They got a little lost again, so even with their head start they only just made it in time.

"Not a good omen for how the rest of the year works out," Lily grinned.

Harry and his friends sat in the back of the class, so that it would be harder for the other students to stop looking at him like he was going to drop dead any second.

"Not a pleasant feeling," Harry shrugged, "though sadly I was used to being stared at by this point."

He didn't pay any attention to today's lesson, which was McGonagall explaining about Animagi,

All five of them went bright-eyed with interest at this, James and Sirius sharing a wicked grin. Sirius adding on, "this was the class that gave us this idea!"

"We did all kinds of research for ages," James agreed, "double checking all sorts of facts to make sure it would work."

"Did you know what animals you were going to turn into?" Lily asked with interest. "It would be rather pointless to go through the whole process and find out you were all something small and not useful."

"Yes," James nodded, "there's a charm that will tell you. It's fairly reliable, never seen it be wrong."

Harry looked extremely interested in this, nodding as he remembered all the things McGonagall had talked about in this class, and dearly wishing he could spend hours interrogating his Dad and Sirius about these things. He somehow knew, without understanding, he'd never taken to becoming an Animagus himself, but he did rather like the idea. Why wouldn't you want to turn

into an animal at will?

Lily, while still finding the fact that they were illegal one of her greatest hangups as of right now, was rather curious on the subject. She didn't have the inclination to be one but found the whole concept of your animal spirit fascinating. She was determined as soon as those three boys registered, she'd end up launching a whole field worth of studies.

which was a wizard that could change into an animal at will. McGonagall herself demonstrated what that was like as she turned into a tabby cat with square markings around her eyes. When she changed back to her normal self and realized she didn't have anyone's attention, she told them that though it didn't matter, she usually got some applause for that.

That garnered a laugh from all of them. "'Not that it matters'," Sirius chuckled, "oh, she's completely miffed she doesn't have their undivided attention."

"Well can you blame her?" James demanded, still smirking himself. "It takes a lot of work to become an Animagus, I think she enjoys that round of applause for her dedication."

Everyone's eyes flickered towards Harry again, but no one chose to explain except Hermione, who put up her hand.

"Why am I not surprised," Harry nodded, always thankful he could rely on Hermione to answer the questions he found uncomfortable.

She began by explaining they'd just gotten out of Divination, but that was all McGonagall needed as she surmised that someone had been told they were going to die.

All three boys released surprised snorts of laughter, making Lily and Harry give them concerned looks.

"Oh don't mind us," James wheezed, looking far too giddy for the comment as far as Lily was concerned.

"Yeah, we're just over here trying to understand why she always got so lofty with us, when she goes around saying things like that," Remus cackled.

Sirius looked likely to fall off the couch soon, he was still laughing and trying his hardest to not let the baby fall and squirming all around. James finally took over the situation by taking his son back, forcing Sirius to come back down to earth.

There was a brief squabble where James won and was still cuddling his son as Harry continued.

Harry told that it was him, and McGonagall told him that it was a known practice of Trelawney's to tell one student every year they were going to kick the bucket ever since she started here.

"Well she's just a right ray of sunshine," Lily laughed, unable to keep that sarcastic tone out of her voice.

None of them had yet to, and because she never spoke ill of someone she worked with, she paused and had to draw a breath before continuing in the same tone that she didn't put much stock in that branch of magic. A true Seer was of the rarest variety, and Trelawney...

"She's really going out of her way to make sure this class knows how she feels," Remus grinned.

She cleared her throat hard before finishing that as Harry looked perfectly fine to her, he would not be exempt from homework, though if he did croak, he didn't have to worry about turning it in.

"Best teacher ever!" Sirius grinned like a maniac.

"Love her confidence in you," James agreed fervently.

Remus and Lily just laughed lightly, and Harry couldn't help but agree with all of them.

Hermione laughed, and Harry couldn't help but feel better for it. It was a lot harder to feel spooked over the whole mess,

"You were actually scared of this?" Lily demanded, some of her humor gone and annoyance rekindling at that teacher.

"A bit, yeah," Harry admitted with a shrug, "but I guess it was just the environment and stuff. You guys convinced me already it's ridiculous."

"Glad for that," Sirius nodded with content.

away from the atmosphere of the class. Ron still looked a little grim himself as he eyed his best friend, and Lavender was whispering what about what happened to Neville and his cup?

Lily snorted and shook her head, but didn't bother to repeat herself.

When lunch arrived, Hermione tried to convince Ron that he was being dramatic, but Ron still wasn't touching his food.

"Wow, this is really bothering him," Remus noted in surprise.

"Like I said," James offered with a small frown, "Ron might just be the superstitious type. Once he realizes it doesn't really affect anything, he'll get over it."

He asked if Harry had seen a black dog around, and Harry told of what he'd seen when he ran away from the Dursleys.

"Not the best thing to tell him right then," Sirius said lightly.

Ron's fork fell from suddenly numb fingers.

They all nodded, that had been about what they were expecting.

Hermione wasn't fazed, telling that it had probably been a stray.

"Now that I'll disagree with," Remus smirked.

Ron told Hermione off for that, saying he'd had an Uncle Bilius who had seen a Grim, and he'd died twenty-four hours afterwards.

"Ouch," Lily winced in sympathy. "Okay, I know why Ron's so spooked about this now."

"Yeah," Sirius and Remus nodded together, determining to stop picking on him for this now.

"That's Ron's middle name," Harry said randomly, looking for something more pleasant to think about.

Hermione still wasn't impressed, saying that was all coincidence.

"That was a little harsh," James frowned.

"Agreed, that's not something she should have taken so lightly, even though it probably is a coincidence," Remus agreed.

Ron was getting outright mad at her now, telling her that wizards should fear the Grim! Hermione said it was rubbish, they just died from fright at the thought of it.

"Nah," Sirius chuckled, "there are much scarier things to die of fright from than that."

It wasn't a sentence of death, it was just a byproduct of it. Harry was smart enough to still be alive because he hadn't realized what was going on and decided he might as well start digging his grave.

Remus couldn't help another bursting laugh. He wasn't used to Hermione giving off such dark humor, but he found it all the more hilarious coming from her.

Ron was still speechless as he stared at his friend, but Hermione was still going, saying that she found the whole class fairly useless. Ron snapped back it hadn't been a guess, he'd seen that Grim! Hermione shot back that he hadn't even seen it, he'd thought it was a sheep.

"She's got another point," Lily nodded in agreement.

"Ron and Hermione are taking this to an extreme," Sirius noted, "it's a petty argument. Why are they treating it like this?"

"They treat everything like this," Harry noted in a long-suffering voice.

Ron was sure Hermione was now just being mean because Trelawney had insulted her aura, and she just didn't like how badly she was going to do in this class.

"Wow," James said, raising a brow in surprise, "and you put up with this all the time?"

"Yep," Harry nodded, popping the P for emphasis. He was far too used to this to really care though.

Hermione lost her patience, slamming her book down on the table and rattling some plates.

"Temper, temper," Remus muttered, noting she did seem to have one before as well when it came to this type of thing.

She snapped that she wasn't going to be putting up with this class long anyways if guesswork was all it took. She had enjoyed her Arithmancy class much more.

Harry blinked, both shocked and puzzled, then glanced up and around to see the rest of them were as well.

"What did she mean?" Lily asked anyways, not really expecting an answer from all the blank faces. "She hasn't been to that class yet, she's been with you all day."

True to her guess, no one answered. They were all rather stuck, and found it rather frustrating they couldn't figure something out about a third year. Bright as Hermione was, how on earth could she be doing something like this, and none of them understood how?

She stalked away, and Ron now switched to puzzlement as he asked what Hermione had meant, she hadn't been to that class today.

"Glad Ron's just as confused," Remus muttered.

Harry had no idea, but didn't bring it up as they headed outside for their first Care of Magical Creatures class.

Harry pushed eagerly past his confusion about Hermione, wanting very much to remember Hagrid's first class.

Ron and Hermione weren't speaking to each other,

"A first I'm sure," Lily said with just a hint of sarcasm.

but Harry was far too used to this as they headed towards the Forbidden Forest, finding the Slytherin's already in attendance.

"Oh come on!" James groaned in disgust. "They already have to deal with those jerks in Potions."

Malfoy was chatting with his friends, who were snickering along.

"Probably the dumbest conversation ever," Sirius grumbled.

Harry had the feeling he already knew what they were talking about. Hagrid made his appearance then, telling them to come closer and to follow him!

"At least he's enthusiastic," Remus grinned.

"The best teachers are," James agreed.

He at first began leading them towards the forest,

"Oh please no," Lily shuddered.

"He shouldn't," Sirius frowned, "at least not until his sixth year, seventh at the latest."

"Say what?" Lily balked at him.

"Sure," Remus shrugged "the advanced classes learn how to find and study them in their more natural habitat."

Lily frowned, not really sure how she felt about this. She'd heard more than enough about Harry being in there, but then she could hardly fault him if he did do it for a class. Then again, one of those times he'd been in there was for a detention, and that hadn't exactly gone over well.

and Harry was not pleased at that prospect, having more than enough nightmare fuel from that place.

James couldn't really help but agree, though he thought this class would go a long ways to helping his son if ever he did choose to go back in there.

His assumption was wrong though, as Hagrid made a sharp turn and instead lead them towards a fenced off field.

Lily still couldn't help but release a breath of relief, thankful that she didn't have to deal with that place for now.

There wasn't anything inside yet, as Hagrid told them to come around and begin opening their books,

"Uh oh," Remus frowned.

"Ah, was there some kind of instruction manual we missed?" Sirius asked curiously. "Because I thought you never did get that thing open."

"I didn't," Harry nodded, looking rather upset. He felt like he'd let Hagrid down by this, but he still had no clue what to do with that book. He was also trying very hard to ignore this impending sense of doom, something wrong was going to happen in Hagrid's first class, which made him very uneasy.

but Malfoy was the first to interrupt by asking how to do this? Some of Hagrid's enthusiasm dropped as he realized Malfoy wasn't the only one, they all pulled out their copies of The Monster Book of Monsters, each wrapped up tight.

"Poor Hagrid," Lily frowned, feeling sympathy for him.

"Don't know what to say honestly," James shrugged, "cause I've got no idea either."

Then Hagrid told them that you were supposed to stroke the spine of the book, in a tone implying he had found it obvious.

Remus blinked several times, wondering if he'd heard that right, but no one really interrupted Harry to find out since he was fixing to read it anyways.

He took Hermione's book as an example, tore away the tape sealing it shut, and before the book could do anything Hagrid ran his hand down the brown spine of the book, which then fell open happily.

"Well there you go," James said, quirking a brow in surprise.

"Points for originality," Sirius agreed, "I never would have thought of that."

Malfoy jeered that of course that should have been obvious, his tone implying the exact opposite.

"That jerk," Lily frowned severely. "He didn't figure it out any more than anyone else. Hagrid should take points or something away from him, he shouldn't be allowed to talk to a teacher like

that."

"Here's hoping," Harry nodded in agreement.

Hagrid looked confused as he said he'd thought it was funny.

"I agree," James nodded fervently. "Now that I get the joke, I think it's actually quite hilarious, a monster book that you have to pet to open."

Malfoy didn't agree, mocking that it was quite a laugh if it didn't bite his hand off.

"Wish it had ripped your hand off," Sirius grumbled.

Harry told Malfoy to shut it, while Hagrid continued to look more upset by the minute.

"Wish you'd done more then tell him off," Remus huffed, he more than agreed someone needed to knock that kid down a peg.

Hagrid seemed to lose some of his train of thought as he said that now they needed their creatures, and walked off into the forest.

"Wait, he didn't say which page to turn to," Lily noted with concern.

"Wonder what he's showing," James agreed with more curiosity than anything.

When he was out of sight, Malfoy kept going with his diatribe, stating that Hagrid getting made as teacher was a disgrace, and his father would throw a fit at the Ministry.

"Is that his go-to for everything?" Sirius asked in disgust. "How does anyone stand this kid?"

"Search me," Harry muttered with disdain.

Harry told him to shut up again, and Malfoy just mocked Harry that there was a dementor behind him.

"And that joke is still not funny!" James snapped.

Conversation was cut off by Hagrid coming back in with half a dozen beasts. The front half of their bodies being eagles coupled with wings sprouting from their sides, and the back half being horses.

"Hippogriffs," Remus and Sirius said at once, both grinning at this prospect.

"This out to be fun," James grinned brightly.

"I didn't even know the forest had those," Lily said with honest interest. "Though I do wonder if that wasn't a little big to start?" She posed it more as a question than anything, not having much to do with the field she wasn't really sure on the matter.

"Nah," Remus shrugged, "sure it is a bit advanced, more would have preferred showing that towards the end of the year than the first class, but it's not above them either. A competent person

can learn how to handle one easily enough."

"Sure," Sirius nodded. "We only ran into one, they're really secluded and spend a lot of time in the high branches. This little foal fell down in front of us, and the parents were close by, so we didn't stick around even though we did know what to do with them."

They ranged in a variety of colors, all tethered together with thick collars that led to chains in Hagrid's hand. He corralled them all to the fence, where the class took a collective step back. He introduced them as hippogriffs, declaring them as beautiful. Harry only slightly agreed.

"Oh come on Harry," Sirius said bracingly, "I haven't agreed with a lot of Hagrid's pets before this, but you've got to admit this one fits the bill."

Harry nodded in agreement as he said, "it was like seeing a Centaur for the first time. Just took me a moment to get over the shock before I could appreciate it fully."

It did have a majesty about it, with the front feathers blending into horsehair, the way they tossed their heads, and the sharp intelligent eyes watching them. Hagrid began by saying they could all come closer, but no one moved.

"This class is depressing me," James rolled his eyes.

"Leave them be," Lily scolded at once, "Hagrid hasn't even gotten to how to handle them yet. I'd still be nervous too."

Hermione, Ron, and Harry were the only ones to begin inching forward.

"There's always one brave one," Remus beamed.

Hagrid beamed at them as he began to explain about these creatures, starting by saying how proud they were, and you should never insult one, or it would be the last thing you do. Harry caught sight of Malfoy and his friend's clearly not paying attention,

"Well that's not good," Lily frowned at once. She didn't like those boys more than anyone else, but she certainly didn't want to see them get hurt; which was bound to happen if they truly weren't paying attention to Hagrid in this instance.

"Those little jerks better not do anything to mess with Hagrid," Sirius growled at once.

Harry's bad feeling was rearing up again at once, and he didn't like that his first instinct was to think Sirius was right.

talking at the back of the class, but Hagrid didn't seem to notice as he continued explaining how to approach the hippogriffs for the first time. First you were to walk up to them, and take a bow. If they bowed back, it was them giving permission to approach them, but if they didn't bow back, it was best to move back, as their talons were very sharp. Then he asked for a volunteer, and in answer, the class took another collective step back.

"Ouch," James winced, "and that was sound advice, why are they still so nervous."

Lily just looked to the ceiling in wonder, did any of these boys have a sense of life? They certainly didn't show it very often, since it seemed more often their first instinct was to jump headlong into whatever they saw fit.

Even Harry and his friends still felt nervous, as the animals continued twitching around in unease, clearly uncomfortable with being tied up.

"Now that's a legitimate concern," Lily nodded in understanding, "exactly how tame are these?"

"Quit being such a worry wart Lily," Remus chuckled. "Hagrid's there, and I'm more than confident he can handle this. No, they don't like being tied down, but who does?"

Lily hesitated a moment more before nodding, and amazingly her nerves actually did relax.

Then Harry saw the begging look Hagrid was giving the class, and Harry said he'd try.

"That'a boy," James nodded in approval.

Harry grinned hesitantly back, not exactly mentioning that he had done this more out of loyalty to Hagrid, not out of real interest in wanting to get closer to that Hippogriff.

"What would have happened if no one volunteered?" Lily asked curiously.

"Most likely, the teacher would have demonstrated himself," Remus shrugged, "in this case Hagrid obviously, but there's always one brave soul who volunteers, so it's usually not an issue."

This caused a stirring in the class, Lavender reminding Harry of his tea from this morning.

"Oh please," Lily muttered scathingly, "this exact set of circumstances would have happened whether Harry drank a cup or not."

"Now Lily," Sirius said at once, a light gleaming in his eyes, "think about that. Divination doesn't write what is to happen, it helps to predict what could happen."

Lily looked rather stunned for a moment before nodding, admitting she'd been a little too harsh that time.

"Can't believe you're defending that subject," Remus noted in surprise.

Sirius chuckled and admitted, "well I still think that teacher was rubbish, but I'm hardly going to pass up an instance to correct Lily."

She scowled over at him without any real heat, causing Harry to chuckle lightly before reading.

Harry gave them no notice as he approached, while Hagrid set one of them apart, introducing him as Buckbeak, a dark gray colored hippogriff, and took him apart so that Harry could approach him. When Harry was ready, Hagrid cautioned not to blink too much, he could take that as mistrust.

"Which means you're going to want to start blinking at once," James noted with amusement.

Harry felt his eyes itching at once, but didn't allow that, trusting Hagrid's advice as he kept eye contact when Hagrid instructed him to bow. It made Harry uncomfortable to expose his neck like that, but didn't argue either as he did.

"Glad you're smart enough to listen to him," Remus nodded in approval.

After bowing, he glanced up to see the hippogriff didn't look up to returning the gesture.

"Wonder why," Sirius asked curiously.

"Probably because Harry was still too close, the hippogriff might still have felt threatened," Remus speculated, though not for sure since he wasn't there. There was also the fact that, these were still animals, and it was impossible to truly ever predict what they would do, feel, or think.

Hagrid began to tell Harry to start backing up, he was a little too close, but then the hippogriff did bend it's scaly knees in an unmistakable form of bowing. Hagrid congratulated Harry, telling him he could go and pet him now. Harry would much rather had been told to go back to the rest of the class,

"You're not exactly getting into this," James noted lightly.

Harry just shrugged, he wasn't taking that back.

but moved forward and began lightly rubbing on its beak, which he seemed to enjoy, half closing his eyes and leaning into the touch.

"The area where the beak merges into their face is a particularly scratchy spot to them," Remus nodded, "so I'm sure he did like it, if you were patting in the right spot."

The rest of the students began applauding, all except Malfoy and his friends who looked more like they'd missed a good show.

"Did they really want that thing to attack you?" Lily asked in disgust.

"After what he said about Hermione last year, I'm not putting anything past him," James hissed.

Hagrid then told Harry he'd built up enough trust to ride him.

"Ride him?" they repeated in shock.

"Now that is a bit advanced," Remus noted, "definitely should have been a bit later in education when he's had more confidence, and time, with the beast."

"Guess Hagrid really wants to show off," James shrugged, unable to hold back a hint of jealousy, this was something he'd never got to do before.

Harry did not agree, as the only thing he'd ever flown was a broomstick, and had a feeling the hippogriff wouldn't feel anything alike.

"It won't be," Sirius agreed, "but a fun experiences all the same." He also sounded just a tad envious, he would love to try something like this.

It took a lot for Lily not to snap at them; they were being idiots again, but she also consoled herself that she might be just a bit jumpy and over reactive of late, so held it back she did.

Hagrid began instructing Harry on how to get on, making note not to be pulling feathers as it would bother him, and Harry found a niche where his wing merged to scramble onto the back.

"He didn't even give you a saddle," Remus noted in amusement, "nor did he mention where you are supposed to hold on."

"Didn't exactly give him anything to steer either," James remarked, "so I'm hoping this one doesn't get any ideas."

Buckbeak took to his full height, and when Hagrid gave him a smack to get going, his twelve foot wing span exploded on either side of Harry, and they were off. With several hard downstrokes, they were up in the air and gliding around the enclosure, and Harry had no doubts he'd much rather be on his broom. The horse like creature was a shaky fit, and he had nothing to hold onto or steer except feathers all around, leaving him to clutch at the neck perhaps a little too tight.

"Sounds like a ton of fun," Sirius said eagerly.

"Though I'm glad you're hardly going to quit the Quidditch team in favor of starting a Hippogriff team," James snickered, finding plenty of amusement in that.

Thankfully the ride didn't last long, as without command Buckbeak began soaring into the green grass again, and Harry barely had time to lean back and brace himself as a thud announced his return to land.

"You didn't exactly sound like you were enjoying that," Remus noted with high amusement.

"It's not something I'd want to repeat," Harry admitted, then he blinked for a moment and wondered if that gut feeling was really telling him he had done just this. He certainly hoped not.

Lily couldn't help but grin, more than happy to admit she was just as happy to hear Harry was both safe on the ground, and didn't have a sudden urge to go back up there again.

Hagrid applauded him again, then asked who wanted their turn. The rest of the class had no more qualms about coming forward and being paired off.

"Typical," James grumbled, "they think it's plenty fun now."

Hagrid set them all up, and Harry went back to sit by Hagrid and watch while the students took their turns. Neville was having some issues, as his hippogriff didn't seem likely to bow anytime soon.

"He did have problems with his broom," Sirius remembered, "he's probably just as nervous now, which I'm sure that hippogriff noticed."

Ron and Hermione were now working with a bay one, while Malfoy and been given Buckbeak, who had just bowed back and was being petted by said boy.

"Buckbeak just lost some points with me," Remus muttered to Sirius, who nodded in agreement.

Malfoy wasn't impressed, saying of course it had, it had bowed to Harry after all, meaning it couldn't be very intelligent.

"He what!" Sirius choked out.

"That idiot," Remus frowned, leaning forward in concern. While he hardly liked Malfoy, that kind of insult could get him killed.

Before anyone realized what had happened, Buckbeak lashed out, scraping his claws at whatever he could reach of Malfoy before Hagrid jumped in, putting Buckbeak's collar back on and dragging him away from a bleeding Malfoy.

"Uh oh," James muttered, bouncing around in agitation now, causing the baby in his lap to giggle, thinking this was a new game.

This sadly didn't actually release any tension in the room this time. They had been begging for someone to hit Malfoy for ages now, but not like this! What if this kid really did die? They would all feel ten kinds of awful for ever having mocked him, he was still a child after all, a bad one but still, even Malfoy didn't deserve that!

Harry was reading in honest panic now, very much not appreciating that he had been right in this instance.

When Buckbeak had been secured away, Hagrid ran forward to take a look, finding Malfoy's arm to have jagged tears in it, his blood painting the ground in an uneven pattern as Hagrid picked him up and began carrying him up to the school.

They were all still frowning in deep concern. At least that wasn't in the chest like they had feared, but there was some very important things in the arm that Malfoy could still die from if this got too serious. None of them could think of a thing to say, so the quiet remained while Harry read.

The rest of the class followed in subdued form, the Slytherin's taking the chance to shout abuse about Hagrid.

"About what?" Lily arched a brow in disdain. "How was that Hagrid's fault? Malfoy was the one who didn't listen, in fact I'd laugh if someone decided to give him a detention on top of this."

James managed a half amused laugh at this, noting lovingly he had been thinking along those same lines.

Pansy in particular looked near tears as she swore she'd see that man fired for this.

"It was Malfoy's fault!" Remus snapped in disgust. "They can't fire him, he didn't do anything wrong."

Dean shot back that it had been Malfoy's own doing!

Sirius released a surprised snort of amusement, noting pleasantly, "you just mimicked a kid we hardly even know this time."

Remus gave him the stank eye, he still didn't find it that funny.

Crabbe and Goyle tensed up, looking ready to fight back,

"Ooh, I'm so scared," James scowled.

but then they reached the shadow of the castle, and recognized they couldn't do anything. Pansy was still wailing in despair as she declared she was going to go check on him.

Lily was the only one who looked rather touched by this. Malfoy was an awful child, but they were seeing him from Harry's perspective. If Malfoy had actually managed to get a girlfriend,

maybe he really wasn't as bad as he pretended. She declined mentioning this, knowing quite well the boys wouldn't find that interesting.

The rest of the Slytherin's skulked off, while the Gryffindor's headed off to their tower, still talking about it, but with a more hopeful tone as Harry pointed out Madam Pomfrey had fixed far worse with ease.

"Very true," Remus nodded in agreement, "and he did get there fast enough, there really shouldn't be a problem." Even he couldn't deny that there was still hints of nerves in his voice even as he said that. The best medics in the world couldn't fix everything.

Ron was working himself into a fury again, growling that this was the worst thing that could have happened in Hagrid's first class, and it was all Malfoy's fault.

"Agreed," Lily sighed, more than disgruntled at the boy's actions.

That night at dinner, they were dismayed to see Hagrid hadn't made an appearance.

"Not a particularly good sign," James frowned in concern.

"They wouldn't really fire Hagrid would they?" Harry asked anxiously.

"Dumbledore wouldn't," Sirius said at once.

"They really shouldn't," Remus agreed, explaining better, "if a teacher got fired every time an accident happened in this school, they'd be going through teachers by the month. Accidents

happen in a building full of too many kids and not enough supervision, it's just a fact of life. They really can't blame this all on Hagrid."

"Let's hope a Malfoy will agree with you," James muttered, no hope at all in his voice.

Hermione whispered that Hagrid hadn't really been fired for this?

Sirius was still a little too distracted to notice this time Harry had just mimicked someone.

Ron shot back someone better not have! Harry was distracted by watching the Slytherin table, where the group from their class were all sitting close together and having their own whispered conversation. Harry had the sneaking feeling they were making up a story of what they said happened.

"Well then it's a good thing there are more witnesses than those prats," Lily spat in disgust.

That night they spotted lights on at Hagrid's place, and Harry said that he wanted to go visit him. Ron agreed as it wasn't curfew yet, but Hermione hesitated, eyeing Harry.

"Why?" Sirius demanded, blinking at the random distraction.

Lily frowned pitifully at him, not exactly wanting to mention she had a good idea why Hermione might say that. Harry had a good idea as well, but simply read out sadly.

Explaining that Harry wasn't supposed to be wandering out there, with Sirius Black still around.

"Oh," was the only answer Sirius could come up with to that, slumping back in his seat and crossing his arms moodily. He had almost this whole bleeding chapter without having to think about that, now here was Hermione bringing it up.

James took pity on him and passed him back the baby, forcing an almost genuine smile back onto that Godfather's face.

Harry pointed out he wasn't supposed to leave past the dementors, no one had said anything about the common grounds. Hermione didn't argue further as they left, though still happy they didn't see anyone as they weren't positive this was allowed.

"Of course you are," Remus scoffed, "if Ron said it's not curfew yet, then it's not." He failed to mention something he had noticed, but the others seemed to have skipped in this whole mess. He hadn't seemed to have called Harry to his office yet for that talk that was so desperately needed... surely he was just busy because of the first day back, right?

They knocked on the cabin door, and while Hagrid did call for them to come in, they didn't walk into a good sight. Hagrid was slumped across his table, a huge mug hanging from one hand, and he wasn't focusing on them very well.

"Crap," James muttered in concern, but he was the only one who did. The others had tensed up, now fearing the worst really had happened and someone had actually managed to fire Hagrid.

This really shouldn't be possible though, only Dumbledore actually had the power to fire his staff, and no force on earth should have convinced him to do this!

Hagrid began slurring that he'd broken a record, the shortest teacher to ever have lasted.

Lily opened her mouth in outrage, fully prepared to give a verbal beating to the poor schmuck who had done this to Hagrid, but Harry had been reading ahead a bit desperately, and read loudly before she could get started.

Hermione gasped in shock, demanding to know what had happened, and Hagrid acquitted that it hadn't happened yet, but Malfoy would see to it.

"Oh thank Merlin," Sirius said in relief.

"It doesn't matter what Malfoy says," James said hotly, "Dumbledore won't fire Hagrid! I'll bet my wand on that, especially because it wasn't his bloody fault."

Ron asked how serious Malfoy's injury was.

Sirius released a half-hearted smirk, but he was honestly too curious to hear the answer to reply this time.

Hagrid explained that Pomfrey had fixed it all up in seconds, but Malfoy was still claiming to be in horrible amounts of pain.

"Liar," Remus spat at once in disgust, this finally distracting him from his own thoughts. "If Madam Pomfrey fixed him, then she bleeding fixed him. That brat's lucky he didn't lose his whole

arm, I'll be surprised if he even has a scratch left."

Harry snapped that he was lying.

"I'm glad you believe me Harry," Remus noted in amusement.

Harry gave him a grin while Lily groaned and said, "oh not you too! Please don't encourage that, it's annoying enough when Sirius does it."

Before any of them could comment further, Harry decided to keep reading loudly to avoid a useless dispute.

Hagrid agreed, but Malfoy still had a lot of pull with the ministry, who had told him he'd started to big with hippogriffs,

They all pursed their lips, unwilling to admit this had sort of been on their mind earlier, but then James riled up and grumbled, "but Hagrid was handling things fine, it was Malfoy's fault for not paying attention."

Since they all agreed with him anyways, and couldn't think of anything else to add to that, Harry kept going still rather subdued.

that he should have started with something smaller like flobberworms. Hagrid was blaming himself, but Hermione told him how wrong he was, it was Malfoy's fault!

James poked Sirius before he could mention it this time.

Harry agreed they'd seen the whole thing, they'd stick up for Hagrid that nothing had gone wrong until Malfoy screwed it up. Ron agreed they would make sure people knew what really happened.

Sirius stopped his glaring at his best mate to smile warmly at Harry, knowing without a doubt any of them would have done the same thing in a heartbeat.

Hagrid beamed around at all of them, reaching forward and pulling Harry and Ron into a rib snapping hug.

Remus chuckled and began in a conversational tone, "well, if you do go up to the Hospital to get checked out, make sure to point out to Madam Pomfrey that she needs to discharge Malfoy on the

grounds he's an idiot."

"Duly noted," Harry nodded.

Hermione then told him he'd had enough to drink tonight.

"And I agree," Lily smiled lightly.

Hagrid agreed, and stomped outside where a splashing noise could be heard. Hermione poked her head out and informed them he'd stuck his head in a water trough.

"Well that'll clear you up quick," James chuckled.

Hagrid came back in, shaking out his wet hair and thanking them for coming to see him, when he caught sight of Harry and began screaming that he was out of his mind.

"Wow," James blinked in surprise, "overreaction much."

"Guess I really wasn't allowed on the grounds," Harry noted absently, rubbing his ears at the remembered volume.

Sirius grumbled something under his breath, but refused to let himself react this time, pulling his wand back out and creating a puff of red smoke and making the little baby giggle all over again, the act making him feel slightly better. Though he was forced to continue listing.

He stormed over to Harry and grabbed him, hauling him outside as he told Harry he wasn't supposed to be out of school, then he turned on Ron and Hermione for letting him. He marched them all back to the castle, telling them they'd better not pull a stunt like this again, Hagrid wasn't worth the consequences.

"Unnecessary as that is," Lily noted, giving Sirius a protective sort of watch to make sure he really wasn't going to sink back down into a depression again, "that was still kind of sweet."

"I'd just like to point out that if Harry didn't know what was going on before, Hagrid would kind have blown that then," Remus agreed, placing his elbow on Sirius' shoulder and leaning on him as have blown that then," Remus agreed, placing his elbow on Sirius' shoulder and leaning on him as if he were bored with the whole topic.

"Chapter's over by the way," Harry nodded towards Remus for his turn.

HPHPHP

*Question offered by Grank, I know it's not the best explanation especially when you consider sixth and seventh years who all take combined classes with all the houses and so it wouldn't work out in the same time frames then, but that one really did stump me. I'll try to work out something better and have Harry bring it up again at the end of the year.

**Random note, the dog that played Sirius in the Order of the Phoenix movie was a Scottish Deerhound named Cloud, thought it was funny enough to put in here.

*** Anyone want to suggest some nicknames? I've thought up a few more I'll sprinkle in, but I'm just curious.

[autisticallyfeisty]

SBSK Reviews Volume #1

So I’m doing a new thing. 

I’ve spent a few months watching Special Books for Special Kids (SBSK) videos. For those of you who don’t know, SBSK is a Youtube channel where Chris Ulmer (a former special ed teacher) interviews disabled people (usually children). The videos are highly praised by disabled and nondisabled people alike, to the point where I can’t seem to find any criticism of them on the entire Internet.

And I don’t think the videos are without merit. They’re usually less condescending and “inspirational” than most other documentaries about disabled people. And a lot of his interviews are with people who have the kind of stigmatized disabilities that most of society, including a lot of the disabled community, often don’t like to acknowledge or include. And all the ones I’ve watched seem like pretty cool people. So I think all of that is good and important, and I can see why a lot of people might really like it for those reasons.

...but there are also a lot of things that bug me about the channel, most of which I struggle to put into words when I try to explain them to other people. So I’m going to try writing these reviews, I guess you’d call them, to try and sort my thoughts out. I think I’ll do a few at a time (in no particular order). In these reviews, I will mostly be focusing on Chris’ interview style and the way he interacts with his subjects. I will not be critiquing the interviewees (unless one of them, like, says something offensive. but I haven’t seen that happen yet), I will probably criticise their parents sometimes, but since I know these videos only show a small snippet of their lives, and it’s usually hard to tell what someone’s really like from that, I will try to give them the benefit of the doubt, unless it’s really obvious that something is off.

The Family that Adopted Six Children with Down Syndrome (And One with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome)

(that title sounds like it came from a fanfic on LiveJournal circa 2010)

The first thing he says during the Asher interview segment is “I came here to be your friend.” No, you didn’t. You came here to interview him, supposedly to educate the world about people with Down syndrome, and also because you have chosen to make this channel your job. Therefore you have a business relationship with the people you interview. Just like with any other job, friendships can form over time, but you don’t just walk up to someone on your first day of work and say “I came here to be your friend.” Especially not to a kid, ew. 

(yes, I know this is something Chris does a lot. and yes, I am going to point it out every single time.)

Asher (who looks maybe 12 or 13? definitely not a little kid in any case) pulls himself into Chris’ lap, and instead of politely redirecting him to some other way of showing friendship and hanging out (because they’ve just met and Asher is at an age where he really needs to be learning about physical boundaries, especially with strangers) Chris says “I think I made a new best friend today.”

And then his parents talk about how it’s a coping mechanism for him. Which I get, but...he’s getting older. He could land in some serious danger if he doesn’t learn safer coping mechanisms soon. And I don’t want to judge his parents too harshly; the interview with them isn’t very long and it’s entirely possible that’s this is something they’re working on teaching him. But I do blame Chris. Especially since they’re telling him all about Asher’s trauma around abandonment. Like how can you do that to a kid who you know has that kind of history, just walk into his life for a day and tell him he’s your best friend and then leave? smh

It’s good that the mom acknowledges how her children help each other learn things, instead of painting herself as a saint taking care of completely helpless disabled children.

ok but then she says “He was what is commonly referred to as a ‘feral child’“ and, like, maybe don’t say that right in front of the kid you’re talking about??

“He’s got a lot of information in his head that we don’t always know is there, because he gets stuck on certan topics. Like treadmills, and food. And trains.” See this is why I always laugh/cry when other autistic people talk about people with Down syndrome/intellectual disabilities like they’re a different species from us. How can you not notice the similarities (both in how we are and how people talk about us)?

Why can’t he watch Polar Express today? Do you think nondisabled teenagers seek permission from their parents every time they want to watch something? (I knew I said I would try to refrain from criticizing the parents too much, but yeesh.)

It’s valid to feel sad your adopted kids spent the first few years of their lives in orphanages and to wonder what other abilities they might have developed if they hadn’t been neglected. BUT YOU DON’T NEED TO SAY THAT IN FRONT OF THEM! There is literally no reason to do that. Your daughter is clearly doing her best, just shut up.

When he introduces himself to Audrey, he says “I came here today. I really want to be your friend. What should I do so I can be your friend?” And while I think that’s still too forward of a way to introduce yourself to someone, I do think it’s a bit more respectful and less presumptuous than how in introduced himself to Asher. 

When interviewing Abel, who has Down syndrome and communicates through sign language, Chris kept his questions straightforward and concrete (mostly about things Abel liked). But then when interviewing Roman, who has FAS and is capable of speaking, but has trouble with language processing, Chris asks much more vague and abstract questions, to which Roman, predictably, replies “I don’t know.” I don’t know why Chris took such a different approach to interviewing these two. I would really like to think it’s not because Roman is the only one without Down syndrome, but I’m having trouble thinking of another reason. A lot of times, the less someone “looks” disabled, the more other people will expect the person to act like whatever most people would consider “normal”.

Or maybe Chris figured that since Roman can use his mouth to talk, he must be more capable of communicating complex ideas than someone who signs. Either way, it’s a great illustration of why high-functioning/low-functioning and verbal/noverbal are not very useful as binaries.

I have no idea how old any of these kids(?) are. This is something that’s consistent throughout most of SBSK and I think it’s a problem. Because there are a lot of times, in a lot of videos, where Chris or the parents will be talking to a disabled person in a way that’s fine when talking to a child, but not remotely ok when talking to an adult. And I won’t know what age the person is, so I can’t tell whether people are being condescending to them or not.

At the end of the video, the mom is talking about how Abel likes to pretend he knows less than he does so he can play jokes on people. This made me really happy, because earlier in the video, there were a couple of moments that made me wonder if that’s what was going on. First, when Chris tried to do his usual “I came here to be your friend” * routine, Abel responded by signing “I’m waiting for lunch”. And then later when Chris asks if Abel had a good time today, Abel signs “loud”. And I wondered both times if Abel was being snarky, but I didn’t want to assume because I don’t know him or his communication style. But after what his mom said, I’m pretty sure my first impression was correct.

(*and yes, that is the phrasing Chris used. Compare how he phrased it when talking to Audrey (who can speak fluently) to what he said to Asher and Abel, who seem to be mostly nonspeaking.)

That took a long time. I’m going to review some shorter videos now. (Back when Chris first started the channel, a lot of the interviews were only a minute or two long.)

A***** ***** (Doctors Advised Parents Not to Adopt Her)

Just think, for the rest of her life, whenever someone searches her name, this video, with that title, is going to pop up (probably one of the first results too, since this is such a popular channel). That’s why I blanked out her name; I don’t want to contribute to the problem.

The video opens with her crying while Chris holds her. He hugs her and says “It’s ok. I’m here for you.” Now, I don’t know about you, but if I was holding a young child who I’d never met before and they suddenly started crying, my first thought would be that maybe they were crying because they weren’t comfortable being held by a stranger, not that they were suddenly upset about something unrelated and wanted to be comforted by a stranger. 

The parts where he was singing to her and playing with her seemed alright. I kind of wish he would do stuff like that more. It seems more natural than his usual interview format and conveys a better sense of the children’s personalities, and most importantly, it seems like it’s a lot more comfortable for the children.

Corwin the Man (Down syndrome)

This kid is adorable. And i feel fine about saying that, because unlike most of Chris’ videos, they say what age Corwin is at the beginning, so I don’t have to wonder “wait, is Chris/am I infantilizing a teenager/adult?”

Ugh, there’s Chris asking “I feel like we’re best friends, do you feel like we’re best friends?” and Corwin says “yes” because what else are you going to do when you’re a kid in that situation and you have multiple adults looking at you expectantly.

Chris asks what makes him sad, and Corwin replies, “I’m not happy when Mom pressures me.” And I loved that, because the more recent SBSK videos are so generic, with interviewees rarely being encouraged to talk about anything unhappy, Or if they are, they’re expected to talk about bullying and the like, never about anything happening at home. So that was surprising and refreshing that he was allowed to say that.

But then Chris ruins it by saying, super condescendingly, “Moms pressure you because they love you.”

Aaaaaaand I’m done for now. This was interesting though. I’ll do another batch soon.

[margridarnauds]

Director's Cut: Paradise Lost?

Thanks! I know I mentioned it before, but I’m really excited to talk about this one!

Paradise Lost

My newest child, whom I love even though I have no idea how I’m going to feel about it in a couple of months. 

The full backstory to it is that me and @janetcarter were talking Terra Nova, as we are wont to do, since we have our own batshit insane version of that show that only really makes sense to us. (It involves bondage dinosaurs, authoritarian regimes, oppressed Americans, spray bottles, 1789, and about 867% more gay than the original show could have possibly conceived of.) And they’ve been rewatching it, so they’ve been kind of liveblogging it to me, and we were discussing Taylor being an authoritarian bag of dicks again. (This is an ongoing conversation; it’s great.) 

And they made the mistake of saying this: 

And it eventually led to me doing a half-mad rant that would form the skeleton of Paradise Lost. In the annotations, see the original text in italics VS the final text.

  “YEP.

 “DIRTY WORK.”

“THERE’S NO OTHER WAY I CAN INTERPRET THAT ONE” “MAYBE SHE DOESN’T KNOW THE FULL DETAILS ABOUT PHILBRICK BUT YOU CAN BET YOUR ASS SHE KNOWS *SOMETHING*” 

And, from there on, it was all Paradise Lost. I ended up copying and pasting those messages in a GDocs file, edited it, added some description and a few plot points, and within a day I had a one-shot. 

So, I accidentally wrote a one-shot out in a Tumblr pm and I was just like, “You know what? Fuck it. I need to write a one-shot out of this. My productivity’s been low recently, anyway. Merry Christmas, Avery, hohoho. Have some angst.” 

It was actually really exciting, in a sense, because this is a totally different setting than I’ve been working with for the last year and it was a chance to expand my horizons, even though, as has been HELPFULLY pointed out to me, it’s still set in the past. Just…millions of years ago as opposed to just hundreds. I played myself there.  

(Annotations under cut)

Taylor’s kid talks when he’s drunk.

Pretty much the first new sentence that I knew I was going to include. I really like the idea of Mira addressing Lucas mainly as “Taylor’s kid,” like, despite him being a pretentious little prick who thinks he’s a genius, she still views him as a whiny kid.  

It’s something they put up with for the sake of the mission, he comes in, gives them their marching orders, and takes a bottle or two of moonshine, the pink-purple liquid spilling across his lips along with the stories.

The fruit they come from is called “Frut” and it’s an ongoing joke between me, Avery, and @elluka, so it only made sense for me to include it here as an in-joke. Lucas loves that sweet frut juice. 

Also: It is 100% canon that they make alcohol from it. I ended up having to look up what dragonfruit juice looks like to make sure this would be as authentic as possible. 

 Not that she cares enough to make sense of the stuff, to Mira they’re all the same as those calculations he draws out on the rocks in bold white chalk, rambling on and on.

Most of the others, they’re smart enough to avoid him, they’ve been out here long enough to know a Slasher in the woods when they see one. So, that means Mira’s the one to keep him company, giving him another when his stock runs out, praying that there’s enough left over to keep up morale, because that’s always a problem in a hellpit like this.

People get lonely, start thinking about the past, wanting things that they can’t have. The alcohol, even if it’s weak compared to the real stuff, helps them drown it out for a little while, though she doesn’t take it. 

Sadly enough, we get so little Sixer development that we don’t really know what morale’s like in-camp, the show’s too busy telling us that these are Bad People because they oppose God Emperor Taylor, but I would suspect that, given that unlike the colony, they only ever intended to be here temporarily, it would have to be pretty miserable. How long were they told it would be? A couple of months, a year? After all the years it would be, I can only imagine the homesickness from some or the resignation from others. 

Tl;dr: Yeah, I suspect they would be bargaining with Boylan for some of that frut juice or they have a still in-camp, though it probably has to take a backburner to more important things like medicine and food. 

Instead, she keeps Sienna’s face in her head at all times, wrapping herself around it, thinking of her bright smile as she’d walk through the door, dropping the raggedy toy that Mira’d got her after a mission as she ran to greet her. (She tries to think of whether it was a T-Rex with the faded red fabric and the drooping limbs with the stuffing worn out of them or a spinosaurus, and when she can’t, she feels the need to get out of this place and back into the real world like a jolt in her brain.)

The reference to Sienna’s toy came in fairly late, but I actually really liked it, because (1) It adds that worldbuilding as far as Mira’s economic situation and (2) It reminds me of a bit from the original script where Terra Nova was HUGE, so of course dinosaurs would be a big thing now, and there’s a certain irony to Mira being sent to destroy something that her daughter loves so much in order to give them a better life. Also, I’d just seen a review for various spinosaurus plushies, so I might have been inspired.

It’s also really important that she refers to 2149 as “the real world,” as her way of distancing herself from whatever she does in Terra Nova, as well as distancing herself from Wash and her feelings for her. “This isn’t real, this is a job, it’s not the real world, it’s an alternative timeline.” 

This time, there wouldn’t be another time. She’d get the job done, get home, and give Sienna the life that she deserved. And she doesn’t give a damn about what she has to do to get it. That’s what she tells herself, and it’s what she’ll believe.  

One of the things that I really admire about Mira is how FOCUSED she is. That’s something that can be both a major pro, since it means that she’s very driven to get her goals, but it also means that she can be harsh when she feels like other people are falling behind and not focusing, even, say, to a young child like Leah Marcos. 

Until then, she’d keep giving Lucas Taylor the moonshine, quietly hoping he’d choke on it, until he wound up drooling on the floor before going off to brood in a cave for the next six months.

In case no one can tell the level of respect I have for Lucas Taylor, Boy Genius.

Alright, but judging from Mira’s interactions with him, she is clearly deeply unnerved, and even though his calculations are necessary for getting her back home…well, if he chokes, it’s not really HER fault. It’s this terrible situation where she’s stuck with him even as she’s clearly scared by him and would probably want him dead under any other circumstances.   

“You know what? Those people-I-I feel sorry for them! They’ll never know the truth about the Great Nathaniel Taylor,” he raises his arm suddenly, as if he was trying to give a clumsy toast, spilling moonshine everywhere.

“Seriously, WHY THE HELL wouldn’t Lucas at least tell the Sixers? He knows that to the colony, it’s The Great Nathaniel Taylor, but the Sixers don’t have any stake there”

Uh huh. Daddy Issues story #326 - Been there, done that, she thinks as she wipes some of the sticky liquid off of her cheek. 

This was honestly one of my favorite lines to write. One of the things that I mentioned to Avery while I was live-blogging writing this is how much I honestly LOVE Mira’s POV, given how incredibly snarky she is. It’s like she’s aware of what show she’s a part of and she’s dedicated herself to ripping it apart. 

I’m so used to working with viewpoint characters who were born centuries ago it was honestly a bit refreshing, as much as I love Lazare “Javert was busy so they booked me instead” de Peyrol and Solène “Women’s motherfucking March on Versailles” Mazurier. Mira is just so fundamentally DIFFERENT, being very blunt and no-nonsense as well as the aforementioned snarkiness, that she was really a treat to work with. 

The way the kid talks, you’d almost think that this kind of thing was unusual . They were all soldier’s kids, these days. They’d all had to do what they had to to survive, and not all of them had mommy and daddy propping them up through the early years, either. Going from home to home, place to place, hoping that a bomb wouldn’t explode over their heads, holding a gun in their hand from the first time they could salvage one.

“Lucas was there, and in between crying about his daddy issues…why wouldn’t he expose Taylor to the world?”

It’s always been a pity to me that we really didn’t get all that much backstory development for 2149, except for that it’s a Very Bad Place, pollution, wars, etc., so it was a bit of fun trying to imagine what Mira’s past might have looked like given she’s obviously not as privileged as the Shannons or the Taylors, the former of whom are definitely INSANELY privileged. I have to think of when Taylor’s doing his whole “I survived 118 days in the wilderness” thing and Mira snaps back, “Yeah, we’re going on 1000.” There’s this…edge to her, and it takes a lot to impress her, and I have to think it’s because she’s survived so much that there’s really little that can surprise her. 

She makes a non-committal sound in response.  

“You don’t believe me, do you? Nobody else does, but you see -” Lucas laughs as he leans forward, and Mira wonders if he’s really lost it this time and what to tell Phoenix Group if their golden boy’s finally cracked under the pressure. “I was there. When my father killed him. And now-Now he wants. To kill me. I know everything, about how General Philbrick tried to get my father to step down, and my father killed him as if he was some carno that’d gotten lose. He buried him under Pilgrim’s Tree, he buried him there and let it rot, but-” Lucas smiles, sharp and predatory, and it hits Mira in the gut that he believes this “He couldn’t kill me. I know the truth.”

She eyes him as he is, trying to run it through her brain. Taylor’s a son of a bitch, but not a murderer. As if he doesn’t notice, he goes on, slamming down his bottle with a dramatic flourish as he spreads his arms out wide, “The great Taylor family tragedy-The mad king, the exiled prince, and, as always, no one listens to the oracle. But it’s all here,” he taps his head, “It’s all right in here. Don’t believe me?” He says, with the smug self-confidence that makes Mira want to punch his teeth out, even smugger with the alcohol. “See for yourself. Remember the name: Richard Philbrick.”

“'Don’t believe me? See for yourself.’ Lucas would say, with that smug self confidence that makes Mira want to punch his teeth out, settling instead for ignoring it. 

I really, really hate writing Lucas, because it feels like no one would ever say this, but then I remember that he described his relationship with his father as “A Shakespearian drama that borders on Greek tragedy.” Like a pretentious douche who strings together important-sounding words. But, I do kind of like the idea of him treating himself and his father as just…players in a larger game. 

Mira finds herself thinking of it long after he’s back to drooling on the floor, with a hell of a hangover coming in the morning. The kid’s been loose in the wild for too long, everyone knows it. It’s like playing with a tiger to get anything out of him, and most of the time, he speaks in equations, not words, as he holds his brilliance over everyone else’s head. God knows what goes on in his mind.

“And at first Mira wouldn’t believe it, because Lucas is demonstrably unstable + would make up ANYTHING to discredit his father, but as time goes on it makes more sense. And, after all, Philbrick has dropped off the grid”

The line about equations, not words is exactly how I feel whenever he appears on screen and the rest of the characters have to pretend that the words he’s piecing together actually make sense. 

And he hates his father. Not that you need to be a genius to know that one. He’d say anything about him, so long as it’d rain on Taylor’s little “big bright beautiful tomorrow” parade. Taylor’s an optimist, always going on about that bright new future for everyone. Peace, love, the American way, all that bullshit. Murdering someone-It’s not his MO. There’s nothing in the three inches-tall dossier they handed off to her the week before she went through Hope Plaza that’d say that. 

I had to get “There’s a Big, Bright, Beautiful Tomorrow” stuck in my head for this. 

She turns in her hammock, watching the tops of the trees sway gently in the wind through the little netted opening that’s as close as she’s got to a window, as a pteranodon flies across the moon. There are times she could almost get to like this place. She thinks of Sienna and frowns. Almost.

You will never know how pissed I am that we never got to see “Mira’s Lair” as Taylor calls it. I think that they would have to have some form of netting to keep out the mosquitoes and any other creepy crawlies, but yet again, the worldbuilding was shit there and I’m sad. 

(She remembers the first time she’d seen the moon, without the pollution there to cover it up or a million lights to dim it, white and gleaming and so big, Wash’s arm, strong and warm, around her as they’d made their way to the colony.) 

The kid’s lying, she tells herself, there’s no point in taking the bait.

In the morning, he’s back to scrawling more equations on rocks, and she’s back to taking care of her colony. That should be it.

It isn’t.

It sits there in the back of her mind, buzzing like a little mosquito that she can’t quite swat. She hates that about the kid, how he can get under her skin, make her think.

Taylor as a murderer? It doesn’t fit with that squeaky-clean, messiah complex image he’s tried to work up. Not that he’d be the first. Everyone has their demons, and God knows what’s underneath that benevolent dictator image. But if he was, then… 

If he was, then Wash is involved, too. But of course she can’t say that, because that would be admitting it to herself. 

I have to think that given the amount of corruption in 2149, Taylor being a bitch wouldn’t be a surprise, and that’s something I tried to show, but that it doesn’t fit HIM (and, more importantly, Mira’s still trying to protect Wash in her mind.) 

She ignores it, and ignores it, but it’s still there, in the back of her mind, and finally, she gives in.

“She ignores it, and ignores it, but it’s still there, in the back of her mind”

Is Taylor really capable of that?

“Is Taylor capable of that?”

So she checks. Still being in contact with 2149 has its perks, and she doesn’t have to run that kind of thing by Taylor (convenient, the voice whispers in her ear, that he controls the access to the outside world. She’d always thought it was so no one decided to get stuck on something dangerous like “democracy” or “basic human rights,” but it’d be useful as Hell if he was keeping something a secret.)

“And keep in mind: The Sixers can CONTACT THE OUTSIDE WORLD AND GET THAT INFO”

Philbrick’s missing they say, but there are holes in the record. Missing in South America? It’s the new “went on a long vacation and never came back.” And even if she’s not out there writing equations on rocks, she’s not stupid. Stupid gets you killed, where Mira’s from. Her employers play the evasion game, remind her what she has to lose if she presses, and she folds. Officially. But she knows one thing: Richard Philbrick’s dead, and wherever he is, it’s not South America.

So she checks. Philbrick’s missing they say, but there are all those little holes.”

Honestly, I hate writing any kind of detective work, because it all feels like a reach, so this was a hard section to write. But also absolutely necessary. 

Boylan seems to know everything that goes on in the colony, for the right price, and she corners him one day after they’ve just gotten ahold of some medical supplies.

Thank God for Boylan providing the plot-convenient information. Or not providing it, as the case may be. He actually wasn’t planned, but when I was writing it, it felt like I needed more between the web search and Mira making her realization, so Boylan got to make an appearance. Yay, Boylan.  

He just shakes his head, “Isn’t enough money in the world to make me tell you that.”

You know it’s bad when Boylan’s not willing to haggle for information. You know, it’s sad when you think of it: Boylan guarded Taylor’s secret faithfully for years, and only gave it away by accident…because he was tortured by the man he’d once considered a friend. Taylor deserved all the fallback from that one. 

“You and he used to be old war buddies, now you can’t stand each other. So what happened?” She tilts her head as she stares him down, the way she knows makes her people stand down when they’re being stubborn. 

He just shakes his head head again, walking away, and that’s all the confirmation she needs that something’s up.

Philbrick’s disappearance.

Taylor turning on his own kid.

Taylor turning on Boylan.                      

It all starts to make sense.

But there’s one thing left, one thing she needs: Proof.

The next time Lucas shows up, she glares at him, “The body. Where is it?”

He smirks in response and takes her to Pilgrim’s Tree.

I really debated including this section, because it seems to go against canon, but I couldn’t imagine anything LESS than that convincing Mira, when she knows that the body’s there. 

That’s the thing with secrets: They never stay buried, especially if you leave someone alive to tell the tale. 

“The thing with secrets is that they NEVER stay secret long” - Literally the first line of the rant that kicked this off. 

And the body of a man, missing a limb in just the right place, well, that tells a story all on its own. There’s no point doing anything with it, when all they have’s the word of Taylor’s unstable son and a corpse against a legend. Better to put him back in the ground and wait for when it can be useful. As they cover the body again, spreading dead leaves across the upturned soil so it looks undisturbed, Mira feels her gut twist.

This was my haphazard attempt at keeping things consistent with canon, as much as it could be. 

It’s never been personal between her and Taylor. It’s just a job, just like it always was (she tells herself as she thinks of trusting dark eyes sparked by the firelight as Wash sat opposite her, stretching a black hairband absently between her fingers, her black hair loose around her shoulders. That night, she’d forgotten her mission for a moment. Just a moment, but it was enough.)

“And slowly, but surely, things make sense. And honestly, Mira’s horrified, because it was never PERSONAL between her and Taylor. It was a job (she tells herself as she thinks of trusting dark eyes by the firelight).”

It doesn’t really make sense for MIra to have that undercurrent of bitterness that she has towards Taylor in canon; my girl’s a mercenary at nature, I can’t see her taking it personally. But this? Was honestly the first time Mira’s character clicked for me. 

Also Wash + her hairband is one of my favorite things, in no part because of the 1789 crossover meaning that she and Laz get to bond over their ponytails. As is Wash sans hairband, because I’m gay. And imagining Wash’s younger, idealistic self honestly hurts, because Mira’s betrayal took so much of that from her. 

She knows why she didn’t want to believe it: For Taylor to be capable of it, that means that everything Wash told her, all that bullshit about a better future, is a lie. Wash is always there by Taylor’s side, saying “How high?” even before he says “Jump.” (He doesn’t deserve it, she thinks; if she was with them, she’d be raking in a solid 2 or 3 figures more as a medic alone.) There’s no way she doesn’t know.

“And maybe she doesn’t want to believe it because for Taylor to be capable of it, that means that EVERYTHING Wash told her, about a better future, is a lie. Wash is as complicit as Taylor, she’s always there by his side, there’s no way she doesn’t know. 

Also, props to Mira for STILL thinking about how much Taylor doesn’t deserve Wash even as she’s realizing that Wash is complicit in human rights violations. 

She’s never been one for the new, better future that Taylor goes on about, about second chances and fresh starts, she has to spend her time on solid ground with what they have now rather than chasing after rainbows and unicorns. But when Wash talked about it, hope in her eyes, Mira’d almost…

And as it all comes together Mira feels a little bit of her heart (which is already mostly hardened, after years of war, years of eat or be eaten only a few inches of red pulsing muscle remain, and it’s for her daughter and Wash) calcify.

And as it all comes together Mira feels a little bit of her heart (which is already mostly calcified, years of war, years of eat or be eaten hardening it, only a few inches of red pulsing muscle remain, and it’s for her daughter and Wash) calcify.  

This is one of the bits that remained virtually unchanged from concept to final product, mainly because I really, really liked it, and it’s probably the reason I ultimately ended up writing it down in the first place. 

“Still doing Taylor’s dirty work?” She’ll ask, several years later, as Wash looks up at her in-Hatred? Anger? Surprise? Mira blames the smudged black eyeliner for hiding her eyes.

‘Still doing Taylor’s dirty work?’ I know the truth now, is what she’s really saying, I’m not naive anymore.”

Not that it matters. Not anymore.

She’s trying to say that it doesn’t matter what Wash thinks and that she’s over it, but she isn’t. She was still hoping, on some level, for Wash to say something. But then she doesn’t, and so Mira uses her as leverage for what she wants, telling herself that it doesn’t matter because it’s all for the mission, anyway. 

I know the truth now, is what she’s really saying, I’m not naive anymore.

I know.

And somehow, it doesn’t feel as good as she thought it would. 

This line was the only thing I could think of to end it on, even as I didn’t like it overly much, but I wanted it to be a very bittersweet at best ending from Mira’s perspective. She’s broken free of the lies Taylor told, at least she thinks so, she’s brought Wash down a peg or two, but it can’t be a victory because she really didn’t get what she really wanted, which was for Wash to renounce Taylor and jump in her arms. 

My other alternate title was “Prometheus” [which I discarded because (1) It was Lucas levels of pretentious and (2) it centered Lucas rather than Mira], and I feel like both of the titles kind of encapsulates the idea there: You get the knowledge you want, but at what cost? 

[cy4658-writes]

3. Afternoon Jazz

'In the blue sky just a few specks of gray

Is the evening of a beautiful day'

Francis Duggan - A Beautiful day

I spent almost all day outside walking, wondering through the cobbled streets of northern London. The weather was perfect, warm but with a slight breeze. The trees around me were starting to become green again, spring was in the air and you could tell.

I had found the perfect place to grab a quick lunch before heading to the supermarket to stock my cupboards.

I finally got back to my apartment, took my shoes off. I was tired at last, both mentally and physically. I was feeling lazy so I only put out the stuff that needed to go on the fridge.

I wasn't hungry at all, which was strange but I thought to myself it was all because of my jet lag. It always takes me 2 to 3 days for my body to fully adjust to my new time zone and that's why I knew I shouldn't go to be before 9 pm or I'll suffer from it longer.

Checked my phone: 7:30 pm so I thought I can finally call home to let them know I arrived safe and sound.

Mom sounded happy but a bit sad that I was going to be gone for that long. Despite the fact that I was already in my 30s and being the older one of two, I will always be a kid in her eyes. We spent about 20 minutes talking and catching up on each other's day till I could no longer keep my eyes open.

'Bye mom. I promise I'll call you tomorrow' I said in the middle of a yawn 'Bye love. Be safe and get some rest' she said before hanging up.

Literally dragging my feet through the dark wooden floor, I made my way to the bathroom. I still had a bit of will power, so I decided to take a shower before going to bed. The apartment was getting cold and I still haven't gotten around of figuring out how the heater worked neither I felt like even trying at this point so, the best solution was a hot bath and 2 extra blankets I found earlier while hanging my clothes.

As I was dry blowing my hair, Morpheous decided I should call it a night. Got next to my bed, pulled my pajamas from under the pillow: an oversized Korn t-shirt that I owned since high school and a flannel pair of pants; put my hair up in a bun and proceeded to lie down. My eyes promptly closed making me fall automatically into my slumber.

°Dan's POV°

'Wake up! Come on, Dan. Wake up!'

As I open my eyes, I see Phil's face a few inches above mine, looking at me upside down.

'How long was I out?' I mumbled as I rubbed my eyes.

'About 3 hours?' he replied still looking at me from that awkward position.

'Crap' I thought to myself 'This is not going to help get my sleeping pattern back in check'

'I was going to wake you up sooner, but I heard you got up super early this morning. I didn't want to bother you' he said.

'It's fine. What's up?'

'I just finished installing Amnesia: The Dark Descent on the computer so I thought we could make a video out of it. The reviews say it's an amazing horror game and I've been meaning to play it' Phil said with that twinkle in his eyes he only gets when he is really excited.

'Ok but first, can we have something to eat? I'm starving' I could hear my stomach growl 'Chinese?' He nodded as he left the room to order.

I sit up and cracked every bone in my body; I must've slept in a very crooked position. My head was pounding and my back ached like a mother fucker 'Maybe a hot bath would help' I thought to myself, after all, it'd take a while for the food to arrive.

I wasn't keen of playing horror games at night, I always ended up super hyped and I couldn't go to bed for a few hours after but it was my fault for not setting my alarm as I took my nap. 'No' I stopped my thoughts 'No it wasn't my fault. If that stupid neighbor hadn't blasted that stupid music in the morning' I cursed as I rubbed my neck under the warm water.

I was still in a foul mood; I've been cranky since I woke up 'Maybe some comfort food would help change that'

The doorbell rang signaling the arrival of our meal. 'I'll get it, you set up the table' said Phil as he stormed out the door.

After we finished eating, put the dishes on the washing machine and I was already feeling better and ready to play.

'So, what's that game about?' I asked Phil

'Well, basically is a horror game, which means that you're in trouble from the get-go. Daniel is the name of the main character' he chuckled before proceeding 'Who's a few fries short of a Happy Meal and has absolutely no recourse to weapons or any sort of magic or special gadgets. So when the shambling monsters shamble by, you have no choice but to avoid them. Take them head-on, and you either go as crazy as Lovecraft's Charles Dexter Ward or get slaughtered. Pretty rad, right?' he said with a giant grin on his lips.

'Oh fucking great' I was having some horrendous Outlast flashbacks.

We sat down and we were all ready to start, I turned on the camera:

'Hello Dan and Phil horror friends' Yelled Phil with excitement

'Here we are, yet again, ready to play something that will keep me up for THE REST OF MY TORTUOUS LIFE' I said

Phil proceeded to explain the game as I rolled my eyes and made a snarky comment here and there. After a battle of Rock, Paper, Scissors, I lost so it was my turn to be the first one to play. I was not thrilled.

The game was keeping me on edge, I really don't like going in without even knowing what it was REALLY about. Of course, that was Phil's plan all along as he gets some odd thrill when he hears me scream my lungs out.

All of a sudden, everything was calm, I knew that something horrible was about to happen yet it caught me off guard.

'WHAT THE FUCKING HELL WAS THAT, PHIL. GOD DAMN IT. THIS FUCKING GAME SUCKS DICKS. I HATE IT I

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE

ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT'  

I screamed like there was no tomorrow. I could feel the glasses from the windows shake as my voice echoed around the room. No sound proof tiles could have ever muffled the sounds I was making

°Your POV°

'What the hell?!' I was awaken by scream. 'What the fuck is going on?!'

It sounded like someone was shouting right beside me. I couldn't make up what the person was saying but I could tell that it was someone screaming out of terror. My eyes were wide open.

The screaming stopped.

I run to my windows and shut them closed. 'Yeah, because someone is going to go all Spiderman to the 4th floor' I shook my head at how silly my precaution measure was.

I wasn't able to see at all, on the heat of the moment I jumped off bed and I didn't even bother to put on my glasses, without them I'm pretty much blind as a bat. Everything looked blurry as I was running into every single piece of furniture in my way. 'Fuck'

The quiet murmuring of the busy street beneath me started filling my flat once again.

As I was swinging my way back to my room when I hear it again.

A crude scream but now I could make up some words 'Oh no, not again, please don't let me die'

The noises were coming from my next door neighbor's apartment.

'What should I do?' My mind run a million miles an hour 'Shall I call 911? No Y/N, that only works in the US' I was panicking.

Without even realizing, I stormed out of my apartment and started banging on my neighbor's door. What was I even going to do? Was I going to get murdered by whoever was attacking this person? I didn't even know but a rush of adrenaline came over me and I kept banging till someone opened the door.

'Oh my god, are you alright?' I yelled at the tall person that answered the door 'I heard someone screaming, is everyone in there ok?' I said, slightly hyperventilating.

As I was trying to focus my eyes on this person, I hear a loud laugh 'What the hell?!'

'I'm sorry' he said 'Everything is alright, I think we might have gotten a little carried away with a game I'm playing with my friend'  he said as he was trying to hold back a laugh

'Are you fucking kidding me right now?!' I got mad 'I thought something horrible was happening in there, you fucking asshole!' I was fuming now as the asshole kept on laughing.

It might have been a laughable sight, I must admit. Me, with my rattled hair, unable to shit and hyperventilating. What a picture!

'I didn't mean to b...' he was saying as I interrupt him

'You know what? I hope you fucking get kill, you goddamn prick! The audacity you have to even laugh in my face. Screw you' I hollered as I was slamming my front door shut.

'God damn, bastard' I muttered as I went in my room

°Dan's POV°

I went back to our gaming room; Phil looked at me and asked 'What was that all about?'

'Apparently, our neighbor thought that someone was getting killed in here and came to our rescue' I chuckled 'I nervously laugh in her face and got upset. She hoped I got killed tonight for being a prick'

'I think we may need to buy more sound proof tiles' I told Phil as we resumed with our game

a/n: Sorry, I got a little carried away here

[i-know-you-can]

Love to Hate You - Chapter 1

Summary: AU - There is something about the way she looks at him. The way her cheeks flush and her beautiful green eyes sparkle. Like she wants to wrap her hands around his neck and strangle him, but she thinks better of it. It amuses him like nothing else. No other woman has been able to fire him up like Betty Cooper. And yet he hates her.

Rated: T

Chapters: 1/11

A/N: My first Bughead multi-chapter is finally seeing the light of day. All the chapters are already written and I’ll try to post them every Monday and Thursday (so the second chapter should come tomorrow). I hope all of you will enjoy my take on an enemies to lover fanfic and leave me your thoughts.

The biggest thank yous go to @birdlovesafish and @ladybughead my wonderful betas and to @ladybughead for making the edit above. 

read on AO3  

read on fanfiction.net

Betty rushes into the shared office of Clickfeed ten minutes after nine, pieces of hair falling from her usually slick ponytail. She has only been working there for about six months, but she has never been late. Betty Cooper is not the kind of person to be late for work. But this morning her alarm didn't go off and ever since then her day has been a mess. She didn't have time for her usual morning workout, nor a proper breakfast and since she was late, she didn't even have time to stop for coffee on her way to work like she usually does.

So now her stomach is rumbling and she feels her anxiety levels are higher than they should be at this point of the day. To be quite honest, she’s not exactly late. Her boss doesn't care when she comes in or even what she does when she’s working as long as she meets the deadlines. But this is Betty's first job since graduating university and while it's far from what she actually wants to do, she believes that putting in the hard work will eventually pay off. But over the course of time she has spent in this company it hasn't brought her many benefits. Instead of slowly climbing up the career ladder. She’s now basically known as Clickfeed’s very own girl Friday. Much like she did in high school. So now apart from her job of writing articles for the least interesting and visited corners of the website she also helps the editor when she gets overwhelmed. On top of that she’s currently standing in for her boss's secretary who left for maternity leave two months ago and has yet to be replaced. She strongly suspects her boss, Mr. Weatherbee, has never even made the effort to look for someone.

But Betty is a people pleaser. She can't say no when her colleagues ask her for help. Despite everything, she still believes that one day someone will notice her hard work and she will actually get promoted to something better than writing articles like “10 things every housewife needs to know”. She has always dreamed of being an investigative journalist, but even graduating top of her class at Columbia couldn’t guarantee her the offer of a lifetime right off the bat. So she tries to do the best she can, hoping her hard work will be rewarded eventually.

She finally slides into her chair in the corner of the big office that she shares with ten other people, only separated from them by a half wall. The words on the big wall she’s in front of are mocking her. When we all work together, we all win together. In reality, most of her co-workers have headphones on 90% of the time, buried either in their work or in whatever they're doing to avoid working. Sharing the office is more of a nuisance than help.

Deciding that the growling of her stomach and the lack of caffeine in her system would be an unwanted distraction, at least until lunchtime, Betty decides to head straight for the kitchen. That place is usually stocked with a bunch of unhealthy snacks and coffee that is nowhere near as good as the one she tends to get at Starbucks, but it will have to do.

The moment she enters the kitchen she regrets sleeping in once again. Because there he is. Jughead Jones, leaning against the kitchen counter as he sips from his huge cup of coffee and scrolls through something on his phone. Today he’s wearing his usual outfit. Checkered flannel shirt over a pale grey shirt, suspenders hanging down his legs and the beanie that never leaves his head covering the mass of black waves. Betty has to admit that there is something about that dark brooding look of his that makes him incredibly attractive to her, but she quickly pushes those thoughts away. For a second she considers just walking away from there and waiting until he leaves, but she's pretty sure he has noticed her by now and she doesn't want him to think she's avoiding him. It's not like she's scared of him or embarrassed by the situation. She just hates him. More than hates him.

Jughead Jones, with a name she's sure is made up and makes her wonder how bad his real name must be for him to prefer such a stupid nickname, is a fellow journalist for Clickfeed. He seems to be about the same age as Betty, but he has been working there since before graduation and therefore acts like he owns the place and she’s an unwanted bug he can’t get rid of. She isn't very close with any of her co-workers, but at least they have been nice and friendly since her very first day. Jughead, on the other hand, didn't even acknowledge her for the first month, probably assuming she was just one of the many interns who came and went. According to their co-workers, Jughead is a loner who doesn't really make much effort to talk to anyone in the office. A self-proclaimed weirdo, a title nobody is fighting to take away from him, who always stumbles into the office late, looking like he hasn't slept for weeks, if the dark circles under his eyes are any indication. Sure, he has a way with words, his witty articles in which he reviews and criticizes local food places bringing a lot of traffic to their website, but that doesn't make him a good colleague. Betty always tries to see the best in people, so she could just look past all that and assume he’s simply very introverted or antisocial and let him be.

However, his attitude isn’t something she can get over. Ever since he realized she was not just another intern to ignore, he couldn't stop himself from sending the occasional snarky remarks her way. She was the “preppy”, the “suck up” or even the “brown noser”. “I see you've been promoted to secretary,” he said to her once after witnessing her trying to juggle her boss's correspondence, while planning the next board meeting. Sure, he was right that she was now devoting more time to managing their boss's activities than actually writing articles for the website, but the condescending tone he used made her blood boil. Being her well behaved self, she just shot him a dirty look. She knew that the best way to deal with bullies was to ignore them and they would get bored. But this was not the kind of bullying she was used to from high school. So eventually, instead of just ignoring him, she started shooting insults back at him. They weren’t always the most thought-through or creative, but it felt good to let her anger out on someone she didn’t have to worry about impressing since he already made up his mind about her anyway.

After a moment of hesitation she steps further into the room, trying to avoid eye contact with Jughead. She rummages through the cabinets and the fridge for a few minutes, finding a bag of nuts, slightly stale bagel and a very brown banana. Not really close to the protein pancakes and a smoothie she’s used to, but she assumes it will have to be good enough. However, when she reaches for the pot of coffee and finds it empty, she can’t avoid letting out a grunt of frustration.

“Seems like someone got up on the wrong side of the bed,” Jughead mutters into his mug, well aware of the fact that he poured himself last of the coffee, not bothering to make a new pot.

“Says someone whose bed doesn’t seem to have the right side,” Betty bites back quickly. Not the wittiest reply, she admits, but she is in no mood for games. She, like many others, became a coffee addict during college and not getting her usual dose of caffeine makes her forget all about being nice. Or in this case, about coming up with a better reply.

“Don’t you know how to make your own coffee?” he asks mockingly and raises his left eyebrow. “Besides I thought you’d be more of a pumpkin spice latte kind of girl. We don’t have anything that fancy here. Just plain old coffee.”

Betty rolls her eyes at his response, wondering why she actually tried to befriend him for the first few weeks on the job. She read his articles, attempted to find a shared interest and start a conversation with him, she even brought some food to the office, trying to match the criteria that she discovered from his reviews. But even though the pie she left for him was gone by the end of the day, he never said a word to her about it. Neither thank you, nor criticism. Which, looking back on it now, was one of the nicer things he has done. Eventually she just decided to give up and pour her energy into something that could actually have a future. Even if it was playing a secretary for the time being.

“It’s April. And I know how to make my own coffee. But I’m pretty sure your stupid face made all the milk here go sour.” She scowls at him, but he doesn’t seem offended. Self-deprecating jokes seem to be his thing and he never fights her back on her insults for him. If anything, her attempts to insult him make the corner of his lips turn up. Betty wishes she had such a careless attitude. But years of her mother telling her to be perfect make her not take mean remarks all that lightly. “What people think about you means everything,” Alice Cooper used to say to her regularly and while Betty tries to break free of that mindset, it’s not always easy. She values other people's opinions even in situations when she shouldn't.

“I’m sure your super sweet personality can fix that right up.” Jughead gives her a cheeky grin and takes a big gulp of his coffee, making sure his face shows just how much he’s enjoying it. “But I guess even little miss perfect can’t fix everything.”

Betty’s hands start curling into fists, but she stops herself before her nails have the chance to cut through her skin. A habit she has been battling since her early teenager years and she isn’t going to break her progress for some stupid emo’s comments. “I hate you. You… jerk,” Betty spats, grabs her snacks and storms out of the room before she has the chance to do something stupid.

“I hate you more,” he calls after her as a smirk spreads across his face.  

[mxnark]

the best version of yourself 

december 31, 2019

mina isn’t the type to feel ashamed of herself. everyone around her new that she was confident and outspoken. whatever she thought of inside her head, there would be a 59% chance she’d say it with a 41% chance she’d keep it to herself just because she had some manners. of course, she had some class by making a bunch of rant posts on her spam rather than on her main instagram or main twitter. some of her thoughts on real life would go on her stan twitter, but she’s tried her best to keep that mainly kpop and movies. but, to be honest, she wouldn’t have made a spam had it not been for her mutuals and her friends in real life. 

this time, however, she felt emotions that she was afraid to tell anyone else. 

she usually watched the gayos on her own, since she was the only one in the house who had an interest in them because her favorite idols were on that show. however, the one she always kept an eye on was mbc’s gayo daejejun because of the amazing stages that the idols would perform. not to mention, it was the gayo with the countdown to the new year. however, this time, she debated if she even wanted to watch it considering that this was the same exact one that she made a video audition for, only to not get in. 

when she saw the post on mbc’s page, she was disappointed, but not surprised. it was bold of her to assume she would ever get the chance compared to the other dancers. when she watched the other entries, she was already beginning to feel insecure. but seeing the announcement only supported her negative feelings. however, one name catches her eye and it’s the main reason why she watches the music show tonight. 

chungha isn’t the only reason why she’s watching this, but she’s the one mina looks forward to seeing the most. it’s weird how almost two years ago, mina became a fan from watching her on the fourth season of the mgas. now, she was watching her as not only a fan, but a friend. it’s only a glow up she can talk about on her spam, but she’s able to use her excitement for her tweets while streaming. 

she makes sure to tweet about her favorite idols and their performances before the awaited dance performance comes. when it begins, she quickly takes out her phone as she patiently waits for her friend to be shown on her screen. she manages to record the 30 seconds of chungha’s dance on her instagram story while whisper-screaming throughout all of it. “ahh!!! kim chungha is so cool!!!! she’s the coolest unnie ever!!!” and a bunch of “wow!”’s and “so cool!”’s. for the group performance, she kept all her excitement on her twitter with a few pictures saved for her spam later on. 

it’s odd. before watching this, she thought she was going to feel an overwhelming amount of jealousy just by seeing chungha for a second. but after the performance ended, she couldn’t help but feel inspired. perhaps it was because of the fact that this wasn’t the first time she’s seen chungha on national television, but mina didn’t feel too upset like she thought she would. what a relief. 

she posts the pictures on her spamsta (spam + finsta) once the countdown for the new year is finished and captions it with her thoughts. after she posted it, she locked her phone, turned off her tv, and went upstairs to go to bed, excited for what was to come in the future. 

notokmina: do you see her??/ that’s the coolest bitch in the world !!!! ever !!!!!

watching her tonight gave me so much motivation tbh. i remember i used to be so… starstruck by her when i first saw her on mga4 and now i know her in real life and we’re friends !!!! i’m so glad she got to audition for this and perform onstage in front of a bunch of idols. she’s so cool!!!! 

i’m gonna work hard with future covers so that i can hopefully be dancing on that same stage!!!!!!!!! it’d be cooler if it was w her!!!! but yeah. hopefully if i work hard enough, i can be on the stage like her (and my cousin and brother if theyre reading this who knows) 

she leaves a comment under her post. 

notokmina: unnie, if ur reading this, hi!!! very proud of u uwu 

… 

january 2nd, 2020

having been on stan twitter since she moved back to korea, she’s gotten to explore the many sides of the website. though she’s primarily a kpop fan account, she also keeps tabs on film twitter. it’s to the point where she even has mutuals who are apart of that community and she frequently talks to them about her favorite movies (recently, it’s been about it 2 because she loves her best boys richie and eddie). so of course, when she asked for movie recommendations on her account, she hoped that said mutuals would see it and give their insight. 

though there were many suggestions, she chose lady bird by the end of it. she knew about the movie years ago, but she never really got around to watching it until now. she’s read mixed reviews, so she was never really able to form a solid opinion on this movie. she told herself not to expect much, since this was a coming-of-age film. but, by the end of it, she found herself in tears. she goes on twitter and writes up a tweet as a response to the movie. 

michi @noplayboy_mp3: film oomfs is it weird to say that i kin w lady bird lol  michi @noplayboy_mp3: no but the film is so good i dont want to drop any spoilers but lady bird is like… so relatable? esp bc im kind of in her situation now.  michi @noplayboy_mp3: icb greta gerwig said “michi has rights”... perhaps i will watch little women when i get the chance

before she’s about to make a tweet about watching midsommar next, she hears her phone vibrate. putting her laptop to the side, she picks up her phone and sees an email from snu. 

dear mina, 

the admissions committee at seoul national university has re-reviewed all aspects of your application in its holistic review process, and you have an updated admissions decision. you may now view your updated admissions decision in your portal.

she gasps. 

as she clicks on the link to her portal and logs in, she was immediately welcomed by the site with a big “CONGRATULATIONS!” and if that wasn’t already obvious enough for her, she looks around to find the little “status: accepted” on her page. she sighs in relief and puts her phone to the side as she lies on her bed. she’s not necessarily excited that she got into a school. even now, she was still questioning if she wanted to go to school to begin with. all she knew was that at this point, she was going somewhere. whether or not this is what she really wanted to do, she at least has an idea of where she’s starting. 

maybe now her mom would stop badgering her. maybe now she can show her that she could do things without her. 

…

“i got accepted into snu today.”

it’s used to start discussion, even though she didn’t really want to talk about it with her. it had to come out somehow because even if she was nervous with how she was going to reply, at least her mom would be aware of it. 

her father was the first to say something about it and mina wants to verbally thank him for speaking before her mom does. “honey, congratulations! i knew you would be able to get into that school.” 

“thank you,” mina says with a small smile before she looks over at her mom to see what she will respond with because it was obvious she had something to say about it. 

“why did it take so long for a response?” she asks. “you applied for early decision, didn’t you?” 

it takes a lot for mina to not say something snarky in response. she’s not going to do that now. not so soon. “well, competition’s pretty tough. a lot of kids are applying for snu. especially in my class.” she wasn’t exactly lying, but it was a better response than “i was waitlisted for a month.” and even if she responded with that, at least she got into the school. wasn’t that enough? 

her mom lets out a small “hm” before eating more of their dinner. “well, good job on getting into that school. with how long the response took, i was starting to worry.” 

mina frowns. “i got into other schools, you know.” 

“but did you want to get into any of those other schools?” when mina’s silent for a response, her mother only continues. “you said that you were aiming for snu and it took long enough in order to get a response.” 

“can’t you just be happy over the fact that i actually got into the school?” mina asks, feeling her voice rise. “i thought you would be proud of me. is it that much of a surprise that i got in?” 

“all of your friends got accepted into their schools quicker.” mina feels her grip tighten on the chopsticks in her hands. “all i’m saying is you should’ve at least tried harder or at least recognize that you should’ve done better.” 

mina finds it hard to calm down after hearing that. it’s not like she didn’t expect a response like that, but to actually hear it from her makes her laugh bitterly. it’s sad to say she’s not surprised because this was what their relationship is at this point. even if she told herself that she just wanted to get into school in order to get her mom off her back, her words only make it seem like she was mocking her even if she reached at least the minimum. it made mina wish her mother lowered her expectations or at least make her own higher. 

she eats her food in a hurry, hoping to get out of this dinner as soon as possible. of course, her mother has an issue with it as she glared at her from across the table. “slow down. you look like an animal eating like that.” 

mina ignores her and she manages to empty her bowl, still trying to bite and swallow the leftover food in her mouth. she quickly stands up from her chair, puts her bowl and utensils in the sink, and runs upstairs, swallowing the last bit of her food down. she closes her door behind her even if she knows her mother was going to go up to her room anyways. when she hears the door open, she rolls her eyes before she turns to her mom. 

“can you knock?” the impatient tone was one she’s used frequently enough. whether or not she was proud of it, she kept that information to herself. 

her mother’s not afraid of it, though. in fact, if anything, she’s probably a professional at dealing with it. “you’re one to talk about manners,” she scolds. “what is with you?! at least try to stay for the entire dinner and not make it seem like you don’t like my company.” 

“why would i do that?” mina scoffs. “you’d yell at me for faking it, anyway.” 

her mom sighs. “why are you so selfish? why do you keep on doing this? do you understand how uncomfortable your father feels whenever we fight? how uncomfortable i feel?!” 

“i’m sorry for being upset over you not being a good mom,” she responds, crossing her arms as if to do the bare minimum of making fun of the woman in front of her who would do the same in their past arguments. “i got into a good school and all you can say is ‘i’m surprised they didn’t reject you straight up’? no ‘congratulations’ or ‘i’m happy you got into the school you wanted to get into’? shouldn’t you at least be glad over the fact that i’m going-” 

“how am i going to explain to the family that it took a few months for my daughter to tell me she got into snu after a few months since she applied?” her mom interrupts her, angering mina even more. “it didn’t take long for jaebeom to get his letter of acceptance. it didn’t take daniel long for him to know if he got in. do you know what they’ll say when i tell them you got accepted after countless times of me saying ‘oh i don’t know yet’, ‘she hasn’t received anything yet’? they’ll think i’m raising-” 

“what? an idiot?” mina laughs. “yeah. i’m sure everyone in the family’s already aware of the fact that i’m never going to be a lawyer living in america. at least i got into a school.” 

her mother then points at mina and she has to hold the urge to not swat the hand away from her face. “look at you! you’re already making yourself sound bad by acting like it’s a miracle they accepted you in the first place!” she criticizes. “you’re supposed to go to school. you’re supposed to get a degree in order to get a good job somewhere. after all your father and i’ve done for you and your brothers, why are you the only one who treats this like it’s not a big deal?!” 

“i am treating this like it’s a big deal!” mina asserts. “do you know how many nights i spent studying for tests that i knew i was going to fail? all the times i had to stay after school in order to make sure it wouldn’t affect my chances?! i worked so hard in the last few months to be accepted and i’m the only one in this room proud of myself for it! it’s like you’re actively trying to find reasons to be disappointed in me, even when i do something good!”

“maybe you should be trying to not constantly disappoint me, then.” her mother turns her back to her daughter and makes way for the door, but mina mutters something else that makes her stop in her steps.

“the one time i do something that i thought could impress you and you’re still disappointed in me.”

her mother doesn’t respond. all she does is stand for a moment before she leaves, not even bothering to close the door behind her. 

[atamascolily]

Episode Review - Sinbad 2x15 - “Castle Keep”

In which there's a plot involving bombs and pirates that somehow manages to be boring. Also we learn that Firouz is not the only person with dynamite in their back pocket in this show, an unsettling revelation.

It's not all bad: Bryn and Rongar get a new outfit for a bit, Firouz has some inventing fun involving weaponry, and Sinbad has to write a message using his own blood.

(Photos from Far Far Away.)

We open with Sinbad and Doubar in a bar, minus the rest of the crew. Doubar decides he's had enough, and the barkeep warns about pirates "who'll shanghai you in a heartbeat". Doubar laughs it off, but you know that's going to happen to him the minute he walks out the door.

...Sure enough.

Apparently, there's a literal Chinese captain doing the shanghai-ing, which is oddly appropriate, although he never appears on screen. ???

When Sinbad leaves the bar, he sees a pirate smacking Doubar. So obviously, there's a fight.

Sinbad punches a lot of mooks but, surprisingly, gets mistaken for a pirate by the local guards and gets knocked out. To be fair, Sinbad totally had that coming - I mean, look at his costume this season! It certainly screams pirate!Sinbad to me!

All of the unconscious pirates (plus people-who-look-like-pirates) are taken to the dungeon to eventually be beheaded! So we're back to where we started in the pilot, how about that? Only not in Baghdad this time.

Surprisingly, given the show's budget, it's not the same dungeon as the pilot.

Somebody tries to snatch Sinbad's rainbow bracelet and it doesn't go well. All the actual pirates want to gang up on Sinbad and Doubar and that is not a smart move.

A suspicious!pirate implies that Sinbad tried to save Doubar. Sinbad plays it cool, pretending that he's a rogue, and Doubar gets upset - it's sort of unclear if Doubar knows Sinbad's faking or not. I'm going to assume that this is also an act, 'cause Doubar ought to know better by now.

A smooth-talking pirate counsels peace, arguing that they are "all in the same boat together". Under other circumstances - shanghai-ing for instance, this would be literally true and not just metaphorical.

Also glorious: when our lead!pirate, Radue, asks if Sinbad is a hero. "Hardly," Sinbad drawls, but we all know he is lying. This show ain't called "Adventures of Sinbad" for nothing.

Doubar gives the pirates a fake name. Sinbad doesn't bother. Radue's heard of him, of course, because EVERYBODY'S heard of Sinbad.

Radue threatens Sinbad and Doubar if they don't go along. Sinbad makes some extremely bad puns, which I actually really enjoy, though your mileage may vary. Doubar just wants to know if there will be food, which makes all the pirates laugh.

The pirates start cheering and Doubar and Sinbad play along but you can tell their hearts aren't into it.

Cut to the rest of the crew wandering around trying to find the captain and first mate. But Bryn has an intuition, so it's all good! Look, her face is all red and glow-y!

Bryn knows that they're alive, but "surrounded by sharks". Pretty sure that's a metaphor unless this episode is secretly Sharknado. (Which would be really awesome, actually.)

The barkeep shows up narrating, as all the rich people ride in on horseback. He's not a fan of said rich people, obviously.

"Oh, we're not common [folk,]" Bryn says, when the barkeep protests that they'll never be able to sneak in. I love Rongar's expression here. It's true, too, although not in the way that the phrase is usually meant.

So, as his costume would suggest, the prince is a total jerkass. No, this is not the same outfit that Casib is wearing in the pilot. (I looked - there are a few subtle differences.) But it is the same shade of improbable lavender.

The prince spends most of his time antagonizing one of his warriors and exulting about all the incoming treasure. 

The pirates wait until the guards come to blow up the gate, which seems really odd to me. Wouldn't it be better to do it when no one is around....? No one asked me.  Doubar gets knocked out in the scuffle, while Sinbad gets caught up in the pirate battle. 

Wow, that outfit... um, yeah.

The prince's bodyguard's name is Von. Radue and Von have a history.... so Von gets to keep his weapons, but he's the only one. Sinbad gets to disarm the guests while Radue explains his evil plan.

It involves kidnapping, hostage situation, boats, and lots of treasure from the shah's emissary who will be arriving shortly. Blah, blah, blah. In theory, nobody gets hurt.

Von wants to know if anyone will be harmed, and seems relieved when Radue agrees. Sinbad's job is to watch Von, while the rest of the pirates bring up lamp oil so they can blow the palace up in anyone resists.

Radue gets this party started but the guests sure don't look happy. But the pirates have a great time!

Somehow, Doubar gets out and finds the crew and explains everything. They run off to do... something.

The pirates try to assault women, so Sinbad has to intervene, noting that Radue promised no one would be harmed. Radue thinks this is hilarious and enjoys the ensuing fight between Sinbad and his men. For once, Sinbad actually kills someone.

Radue reminds Sinbad that he totally sees through his act, but it amuses him to play along. He forces Sinbad and Von to leave, so he can rule uninterrupted.

"How was that for entertainment?" Radue asks, so the party can get started again.

Von knows that Sinbad isn't a pirate, and they don't have to follow Radue's orders. Sinbad wants to know why he works for the prince, if Von cares about innocent lives.

Backstory time! Von served the prince's father and swore an oath to protect the current prince. All he wants to do is get the prince out alive. Sinbad wants to save everybody. Von refuses. "That's for heroes." And stalks off.

Sinbad finds some girls hiding, orders them to stay hidden, and walks off. A moment later, a suspicious pirate follows behind Sinbad and finds them. Ouch.

Meanwhile, the rest of the crew plots how to get in the castle. Magic won't help, so it's all on Firouz.

Meanwhile, the rest of the crew plots how to get in the castle. Magic won't help, so it's all on Firouz. No pressure, Firouz! Fortunately, Firouz thinks best under pressure (says Doubar). Bryn looks kinda skeptical.

The barkeep (whose name is Finn??) has a few old crossbows on hand.... Oh, this is going to be good.

Meanwhile, Radue has proof of Sinbad's treachery, so Sinbad has to fight all the pirates off. Fortunately, they're pretty bad at it.

Look, swinging from the curtains!! Classic!

Von just stands back and looks amused by it all.

The pirates decide to split up to chase Sinbad, which we know is a poor decision.

Especially since nobody ever looks up.

Yup.

Von looks really amused as one of Radue's men falls to his death outside. "That doesn't look like Sinbad to me." Radue is not amused. But rather than kill him, he just wounds Von.

Dermott shows up! "Reduce to carrier pigeon duties, eh? Don't worry I won't tell anyone." I love it. Also, having a hawk on your arm without gloves = ow.

The message is something about how Matsue is a friend, which would make more sense if I knew who Matsue was. This show has not done a good job of letting me know who that is.

But Sinbad has to write a response in his own blood, which you have to admit is pretty hardcore. Though Dermott just vanishes when the camera's not looking apparently?? 

(Why don't they just use mind magic for this? Right, because that went out the window in the first season. Carrier pigeon it is, then.)

Radue's men keep falling to their deaths, which freak the party guests out. Radue is definitely not amused. Von is delightfully snarky, though.

Hey, but there are more exploding sticks. Good thing Sinbad is usd to dealing with exploding sticks!

Radue thinks this is the final voyage of Sinbad, but we're only halfway through this season, so he's probably wrong.

Sinbad's arm muscles get another workout. Von sees Sinbad out of the window and decides to pretend to be evil to buy him some time. Of course the suspicious pirate calls him out on it, but Radue refuses to listen.

Meanwhile, the shah's emissaries arrive.... but it's actually the rest of the crew. Wow, Bryn found something different to wear, and it looks really good... though, amusingly, it is still the exact shade of yellow as her previous outfit and manages to show off both midriff AND cleavage while covering everything else. What, did the writers think we wouldn't recognize her if she wore green or something?

Rongar gets to be the fake emissary. He looks awesome. I majorly approve. 

I'll see your bows...

.... and raise you crossbows!!!! MEGACROSSBOWS!!!

Two words: FUCKING. AWESOME.

Meanwhile, Sinbad attacks from behind and a major battle ensues. Even in her costume (Rongar shrugs his off once the fight starts), Bryn can still kick ass.

The pyro!pirate with all the explosives starts lighting them, so Sinbad gets to swing down from the balcony to attack him. (I approve of aerial combat awesomeness, have you noticed?)

Suspicious!pirate tries to kill Von with a spiked ball and chain and totally failed. Radue pulls out the big explosives and it looks like something out of Will E. Coyote cartoon. 

Rongar's throwing knives knock down another pirate who knives Von, who saves Sinbad's life.  Radue gets knocked backwards through the window into the abyss right as the explosive goes off.... convenient, that. 

Von dies tragically, but he's way less cynical than he was before. So goes his character arc.  

The shah's actual emissary - who turns out to be Matsue - is disgusted ith the prince and and pretty pleased with Sinbad and the crew, so the prince gets a much-needed smackdown. Literally.

Back on the boat, Sinbad's brooding, so Rongar gets to be on the tiller for a bit until Sinbad snaps out of it. There's an inspirational moral of sorts, but I kinda missed it, so... I guess the writing wasn't clear about that?

So this is not a great episode and I found it hard to follow in terms of overall plot coherence, but there are a few fun bits to make it worth the effort. Again, the doll episode has made it clear where the low bar is, and we're still above that particular benchmark. But now I know how Firouz got those megacrossbows he whips out later in the season....!

[thebookkeeperslibrary]

The Time Page’s Wish - Ch. 2: Bienvenue à Paris

Fandom: Time Warp Trio

Author: The_Bookkeeper_96

Rating: G

Summary: It's been four months and Uncle Joe is still missing. On his twelfth birthday, Joe decides it's time to track him down. One wish lands them in the middle of a revolution. And it seems the only way to get them home is with the help of some untrustworthy thieves. As long as they don't take The Book for themselves.

A/N: So this is my first dive into fanfiction. Putting this out there as a feeler to see what you guys think! Please feel free to leave a review and some constructive criticism!

Read on AO3

The first sight to greet the boys is a horse-drawn carriage raging towards them.

"I knew it!" Sam screams, cowering in the street. "I knew I was going to die today!"

Fred and Joe jump to the safety of the sidewalk, dragging Sam along with them, unceremoniously dropping him when they get there.

"Geez, Sam," Fred chuckles. "You would think you've never been nearly run over before."

"Because I haven't!"

"I can think of three separate occasions where that has happened to us."

"Guys," Joe cuts them off. He forces them to look in his direction. "Check this out."

Across the street, in large, bold lettering, the words "kill the king" are painted on a wall. Each word is painted blue, white, and red respectively. A grotesque caricature of a king hanging from a rope is drawn underneath. His eyes are Xs and a bloated blue tongue is popping out of his mouth. There are smaller stick figures surrounding it that appear to be cheering his death.

To their credit, the people walking on the street pay it no mind. They simply go about their day, like nothing is out of the ordinary.

"Kill the king?" Sam runs his hand through his hair, tugging at the ends, and pulling a few strands out. "Where on Earth did you take us? What did you do?"

"I just wanted to find my uncle. So, maybe he's here?" Joe scans the crowd, looking for a familiar purple top hat and curly mustache. Nothing stands out to him, but it's hard to see over the three-foot-tall wigs and voluminous dresses everyone is wearing. Joe bites his lip. "He has to be here."

"Maybe you're the reason we're here, Sam," Fred argues. "You were the one who started talking about the revolution. We all know that thing only needs one trigger word to kick on. Killing a king seems pretty revolutionary to me."

Sam's fists clench. "This isn't my fault. I didn't even want to warp!"

"Calm down." Joe stops the search for Uncle Joe to end Fred and Sam's bickering. "Let's just look around for a bit and see if my uncle is nearby. If we don't find him, I promise I'll take us all home with the- oh."

"Let me guess. You don't have The Book?" Sam's arms fold across his torso. He cocks an eyebrow at Joe.

"It must've slipped out of my hands when we warped." Joe rubs the back of his neck. "It's gotta be close."

"Great, just great." Sam huffs. "What happened to your amazing Time Page skills? I thought you had better control over that thing!"

"I do! I swear! But accidents happen." Joe turns and starts walking down the street, glancing in shop windows for any sign of The Book or his uncle. Fred and Sam move to keep up with him. "I promise, I'll have us home in no time."

"Where have I heard that before?" Sam grumbles under his breath.

Fred, enjoying the moment, observes everything going on around them. He tips his hat at passersby. "Sam, I really think you should lighten up a bit. Have you tried yoga? This isn't so bad. For a revolution, I'd say this is pretty calm. No fighting, no yelling. People are chill. How is this even considered a war?"

Sam opens his mouth to counter Fred, but noticing the peacefulness of the streets, changes his mind. "You're right."

"Thank you. I'm not completely stupid, you know," Fred teases his nerdy friend, a silly grin appearing to match his mood.

Sam rolls his eyes. "Something isn't right. If this is a revolution, why are there no gunshots or screams?"

"Are you saying you want there to be gunshots and screams?"

"No."

"Maybe it just hasn't started yet, but the tensions are building." Joe shrugs, more concerned about dealing with the real reason why they came here. "We don't know the exact date or anything. We don't even know where we are."

"Let's just get out of here before the actual fighting starts then."

The trio continues their walk down the busy streets. Aside from a few stray looks, no one pays them any attention. They don't fit in with their clothes or hair styles, but no one seems to care or stops to ask them any questions. None of the people they walk past are Uncle Joe and none of the bookstores have The Book.

"Can we take a break or something? I'm starving." Fred rubs his stomach, which is growling profusely.

"You just ate almost half a cake. How does your body burn so much energy?" Sam stares at Fred with raised eyebrows. "You are a mystery and an enigma to science."

"It's called being an athlete. I'm constantly active."

"All you've done is walk for fifteen minutes," Joe argues, but concedes to Fred's request to find food. "Let's check out this street market over here. Maybe The Book will be there."

"When is it ever that easy?"

Joe ignores Sam snarky comment and leads them into a street market. Stalls selling everything from clothes to food to art line the narrow street. Vendors shout at anyone walking by to come look at their goods. All of them claim to have the cheapest prices and highest quality in the whole city. Each stall is vibrantly coloured, causing passersby to take a second look, but at seeing the items that are being sold, walk away quickly before the seller can lure them in.

It doesn't take long for Fred to sniff out the food section. Shoving past Joe and Sam, he scurries down the sidewalk in search of the intoxicating smell. His stomach growls louder and louder with every step he takes. "I'm going to eat every piece of food that I see."

Joe and Sam have to practically run to keep up with him. The desire for food gives Fred an almost unnatural speed. They soon find the source of the smell. A stand selling fresh baked bread waits patiently for its next customer, a timid-looking girl stands behind the counter. Unlike the other vendors, she doesn't call out to the people passing by. She merely waits on her stool, knowing the smell of bread alone will draw in customers.

Fred charges into the stand. The girl jumps, covering her face, and shaking.

"Your food smells incredible! I want to eat it all." Fred nearly starts drooling at the sight of a baguette resting on top of the counter.

The girl peeks out from behind her hands. "You're not going to hurt me?"

"No." Fred tilts his head, momentarily distracted from the food. "Why would I do that?"

"You just came here so fast. I thought-" She shakes her head, any fear falling away. She beams at Fred, now ready to be a hard-bargaining vendor. "Never mind, you want all of my bread? You can have it. Fifty francs."

"Fifty what?" Fred scratches his head, confused by what the girl is asking and by the smell of bread muddling his thoughts. "I don't think I have that."

"Then no sale." The girl pulls the baguette off the table and out of Fred's sight. "Please leave so people who actually have money can come here."

"Sorry, miss." Joe is late to the conversation, but can tell what happened. "We're a little short on cash right now. But we do have something we can trade."

The girl lifts her eyebrow, and motions for him to continue.

"You see, we're performers." Joe whips out a deck of cards, something he always has on him. Fred and Sam groan behind him, knowing exactly where this is going. "I'll do a magic trick, and you give us free bread. Sound like a deal?"

The girl pauses, considering her options. She looks into Joe's eyes and opens her mouth.

And spits in his face. "I can't live off of stupid magic tricks, boy. Find somewhere else to get your food."

Joe grimaces and hurriedly wipes the spit off his cheek, gagging in the process. The trio walks away. "Well, she was rude."

"Dude, when will you learn no one likes your silly card tricks?" Fred snickers.

"They're not silly. They're-"

Joe's cut off by a raucous clanging at the end of the street. Shouts fill the air as three people dash out from behind a stall and sprint down the street, right towards the boys. It's hard to get a good look at them. They slip through the crowd with ease, as if this is an everyday occurrence for them. They wear dull clothes that are clearly not in style. No one gets a good look at their faces and they are dressed in black cloaks to hide any distinguishing features.

Well-built, burly men jump out after them. "Thieves! Stop them!" They encourage the crowd to apprehend the runners, but no one steps forward, too stunned to do anything but gawk. They thunder down the market, shoving anyone who gets in their way and even some who don't.

The supposed thieves burst through the crowd, moving forward with their escape with ease. A blast of air whips across the trio's faces, and they are suddenly pushed against a wall. One of them turns back to yell a quick, "Sorry!" temporarily revealing a feminine face with emerald green eyes before dashing around the corner and out of the boys' sight.

"What in the…" Fred trails off. "I'm not crazy, right? You guys saw that too?"

Both Joe and Sam nod, like Fred and the rest of the shoppers they are stunned and confused. They each groan and step away from the wall, rubbing sore shoulders and necks.

Fred pats his pocket, noticing a lump that was not there two minutes ago. "Uh, what is this?" He pulls out a small, but heavy, black bag. Opening it up, he finds several coins made of pure gold piled up inside. His teeth clench. "Oh, no."

"You there, halt!" A booming voice barks at them. "You are under arrest for stealing from the royal Paris treasury."

The trio takes one glance at each other, and knows exactly what to do next. "Run."

[i-may-have-a-point]

Review of 13x16 “Who is He? And What is He to You?”

So, this is the first time I have written down my analysis of an episode.  There was just so much to think about in this episode because of how well it was written, directed, and performed that I needed to write it down, even if I am the only one who ever reads it.  

Thoughts on the opening scenes:First, I love that Jackson had the narration and that he talked about being unable to say what you really want to.  This has been a recurring issue not only with Japril but across the show.  So many times I yell at my screen, “Just talk to each other!” So at least the lack of communication was somewhat acknowledged.  

It seems that Catherine knows Robert Avery is in Montana which surprised me a bit.  I would like to know how long she has known, but I doubt we will ever get an answer to that.  Either way, she knew and sent April because as controlling and manipulative as she is, she is also wise.  I saw a lot of people wondering why April came in a cab and if Japril are still living together.  To me, this was just another way to show how divided they are going into this episode.  

I also was surprised to see the ongoing theme of April replacing Meredith was still present in this episode.  I like that April is getting more recognition and credit because she deserves it, but I expected them to drop this story once Grey came back from suspension.  I will be interested to see if it continues.  

Jackson’s snarkiness with April caused a lot of eye rolls as well, and as much as I would prefer he not be this way with her, this allowed us to see that April chose to put up with it.  She easily could have said, “You’re being a jerk.  I’m out.”  several episodes ago, but she knows him well enough to get that something more is going on.  She lets him be angry because he needs to be and she deals because that is what we do for the people we love.  We love them even at their worst.  

The real story: In my opinion, one of the most impressive things about the writing of this episode was how well Elisabeth Finch paralleled Japril’s story with the surgery and Jackson meeting his dad.  This story has two children in it, one boy and one girl.  Let’s start with the boy.  When we meet Dr. Cordon he seems cowardly for forcing Jackson and April to tell that father his son has no chance and they want his organs.  I think this scene is supposed to parallel losing Samuel for Japril.  They were, in a way, forced to lose Samuel.  They could not save him, and although they didn’t want to, terminating the pregnancy was the best thing to do.  So, although they don’t want to tell this father they cannot save his son, they must.  And then they must convince him donating his organs is the best thing he can do.  Jackson bringing up Samuel in this scene was the first time we have really heard them mention him besides JTM.  This loss is still very real and present for both of them.

Then we meet the girl.  To me, this girl, Caroline, represents Harriet in a way.  Caroline needs her parents help.  She cannot speak so they must be her voice and try to make things better for her.  Of course, Harriet is too young to speak and completely depends on Jackson and April.  She needs them to make things better for her as well, but in both situations, they don’t quite know how.  Again, this is why Jackson mentions to her mothers that he is a dad.  He understands needing to advocate for his daughter and wanting the best for her.  He doesn’t always know what that is, but he will always try to figure it out.

 The “I don’t make promises that I don’t keep” line is of course a reference to April telling Jackson, “You are not a person who makes promises he doesn’t keep” in JTM.  And for the most part this is true. Jackson keeps his word to everyone, except April.  Regardless of whose fault the divorce was or whether it was right or not, it happened because Jackson pushed for it.  And even though the show has done a poor job of showing him acknowledge that he realizes this, I believe he does.  From big things like April and Harriet almost dying in 12x24 to little things like his loss of appetite when April went on her date, he still feels that pull to April and he must at least consider that he made the wrong choice.  

Caroline’s first plan of treatment is a throat transplant.  This will get rid of her biggest problem, the tumor, and still allow her to speak.  But it falls through.  In the scene where April talks to the mothers alone, she says, “The best way to help your daughter is to do the laryngectomy…At this point, I really think it is her best chance.” So here is the thing about fixing major issues in our life.  No one can do it for us.  Caroline losing her donor throat represents the idea that no one can fix the issues Jackson and April are dealing with besides Jackson and April.  Caroline will survive with the laryngectomy, but she will be no better off really.  The tumor would be gone but she would lose her voice.  Trading one awful thing for another.  Just as Japril would survive if they didn’t deal with their issues.  If they just left things as they are, they would both survive, but it would leave them with a permanent whole in their life just like the one Caroline would literally have.  

(Unimportant Info - beautiful scenery, loved April’s breast pump scene, loved the Chinese food with extra fortune cookies)

Jackson finally sees his father.  This demon has been haunting him for years.  We have seen hints of it, but I am so glad Jackson finally confronted him because he was projecting all of his abandonment issues on to April.  The scene where April finds Jackson at the diner is so good.  Jackson is so hurt and Jesse played that perfectly.  April, of course, takes his anger because she knows him so well, and above everything she is just worried about him.  It is heartbreaking and beautiful at the same time.  And then that line, “I didn’t bail on anyone!”  That is really what this is all about for Jackson.  As much as he wants to know his dad, he is also scared as hell that he might be like him.  And here is the one person he thinks he might have bailed on telling him he is bailing on a patient.  Like I said, heartbreaking and beautiful.  

I like that we got the small moment between Robert and April.  Of course it was put there so April could realize that he is Jackson’s father, but regardless, I like that they met.  They are both incredibly influential to Jackson for very different reasons and they should know each other.

In the scene where Jackson wakes April up early, the first thing he says when she opens the door is, “We still need to find a way to help Caroline.”  The first thing he thought of that morning is that he and April have things they need to fix.  He says they need to figure out how to fix Caroline, but again I think this line is about them still needing to find a way to fix their relationship.  And I also love that even though he knows he was pretty awful the night before, he doesn’t even hesitate to knock on her door.  He knows she will answer and help him.  Because she is April.  He knows her as well as she knows him.  And I actually love that he walked into her room as he told her to get dressed.  It shows that their comfort level with each other is still there.  Maybe she changed in the bathroom or maybe she didn’t.  I’m sure she probably breastfeeds in front of him, especially right after getting out of the hospital.  She would have needed his help for absolutely everything, so maybe undressing is not a big deal to them.  Either way, the fans certainly caught this moment.

Let’s move to the first scene in the lab where Jackson and April are bickering.  It starts with Jackson saying “I hate this. ��I don’t see how we can do anything but the laryngectomy, but I hate the laryngectomy.”  Of course he does.  With the laryngectomy, Caroline loses her voice and the parallel here with Japril is that the laryngectomy means they don’t figure out a way to really heal or fix things.  They settle.  They take the easy way, probably stay co-parents, maybe friends, but really they hate this option - they hate the laryngectomy.  But there don’t seem to be any other options.   The scene in the lab, to me, was them going over the obstacles in their relationship.  They start by acknowledging that they do not want to do the laryngectomy, but also, they are running out of time.  Jackson saying he was drunk is a substitute for him saying he needs to deal with his dad, which is a huge obstacle for them.  April says that Jackson doesn’t want her there, which I don’t think is true, but her saying this acknowledges the divide that has strengthened between them recently.  Then Jackson brings up April’s friendship with Catherine, and we all know Catherine has created many problems for them.  She may be helping now, but that has not always been the case.  April argues that her relationship with Catherine started before Japril became romantic, but even when they were friends Jackson wasn’t comfortable with April and his mom’s relationship.  "Stop facebooking my mom!“  Then their differences in financial status and upbringing are brought up. "Your mom says the difference between you and I…” As much as these two are meant to be together, they come from very different worlds and see things differently.  This line reflects those issues..  But the conversation is cut short because of the 911 page.  Time is almost up.  If they are going to fix this, they must do it fast.

So Jackson gets the 911 page.  Caroline’s parents want more.  They want their daughter whole and healed and not just the easy fix.  April tries to tell them, “We’ve gone through every possible alternative.  There comes a point when you have to hear…We’ve been down every road.  Every one.  There are no other options.  We do the laryngectomy, Caroline lives.  It’s that simple.”  I can only imagine how many times Jackson and April must have went over every alternative for their relationship in their own heads.  But since they refused to talk to each other, none of the options seemed like they could work.  The easier choice was to choose to settle for less than what they really wanted.  Luckily Caroline refuses to do that.  She wants her voice, and Jackson promises that he and April will find a way to get it back for her.  

Outside of the hospital April finally tells Jackson he made a promise he can’t keep.  Jackson can’t possibly come up with an idea to save her voice and they should do the laryngectomy.  He is confident they can until April tells him she knows about his father.  “He’s the whole reason we’re here!”  And she’s right.  Not just in Montana, but in this frustrating, difficult place in their relationship.  Jackson’s father and his trust issues and inability to let go of his abandonment are what led them to this moment  - completely in love but so alone.  He is the whole reason we are here. 

The transition from Facetiming with Harriet to sitting in silence could not have been directed any better by Kevin.  The shift in tone was almost tangible.  I felt physically uncomfortable watching them sit in silence.  And then finally Jackson told April everything that he had been holding on to for years.  And she responded perfectly.  She listened, which was all he needed.  And then she pushed him to go confront his father.  No one else could have done this for Jackson.  No one.  

Jesse’s acting in the scene where he confronts Robert was some of his best.  His little decisions like not lifting his arms to hug him and the absolute shattered look in his eyes when Robert says he couldn’t be torn away from his diner in Montana were fantastic.  There was no remorse or apology.  Jackson had waited years for this moment, and this man was still able to let him down even more than he already had.  But he also gave Jackson some things to think about.  “Are you happy?”  “I was born into this life, but she was born for it.”  There is no way those lines didn’t instantly make him think of April.  

One of my favorite scenes of the whole episode begins with the coffee apology.  Kevin’s camera angle was perfect.  We hear Jackson say, “Hey” in that voice he only uses for April.  The camera focuses on the coffee in Jackson’s hand and then transitions to April smiling up at Jackson.  While we all would have loved a great speech from Jackson, somehow this was enough.  It has been awhile since we have seen such a sweet gesture from Jackson to April but this was all she needed to know he was sorry.  The way the writing weaves the discussion of Caroline’s surgery seamlessly with Jackson’s explanation of what happened with his dad is some of the best writing of the entire series, I think.  The two are completely intertwined. Jackson must let go of the past in order to move forward, as the tagline said.  He must let go of his anger with his father to move forward with April, but how do they get there?  How do they fully heal Caroline without just settling for the laryngectomy?  “Her guts for her throat,” he realizes.  “Then she’d be her own donor…You think it will work?”April asks.  “No, maybe, yeah.”  “Well which one do you wanna go with?”  They have to heal themselves.  Not even Jackson meeting his dad can heal them.  They have to fix things from within, together, just as Caroline is essentially fixing herself. Will it work?  They aren’t entirely sure, but they decide to go for it.

Dr. Cordon argues that this has never been done before.  And it hasn’t.  When Shonda wants to end a couple, she ends them.  Japril are divorced.  The papers are signed.  So to put them back together is new and different and never been done.  And we all love it. 

Jackson steps up and accepts the Avery name.  The shadow of his father not being able to handle being an Avery is not looming over him anymore.  He is not his father.  He does keep his promises, and he certainly doesn’t bail on his family.  He realizes that now, even if it took him awhile to get there.

The surgery scene.  The music.  The looks.  The silence. “I’ll see it.”  Jackson and April are literally healing Caroline and figuratively healing themselves.  They work together to use Caroline’s body to heal itself and they work together to heal their relationship as well.  And that camera angle over April’s shoulder where Jackson is watching her.  That moment is when he realizes that he could not have done this without her.  Talking to his dad, saving Caroline - it all happened because she was there.  She is and always has been exactly who he needs.  At the end of the surgery, April asks, “This is gonna work right?” And Jackson confidently replies, “We did it.”

The hotel scene.  The parallels to the hotel scenes in San Francisco were perfect here.  As a fan, I appreciate that they put in details they knew we would catch.  I also appreciate that neither Jackson or April show any hesitation.  They have both grown so much that they are completely sure at this point of what they want.  And those looks. The chemistry with these two is unbelievable.  I can’t say enough about how great this scene is.

The next morning was almost more satisfying to see as a fan than the hallway scene (almost…).  Again we saw that they had no regrets with their choice to be together.  The lighting, the bed sheets, their emotions - everything is light and bright.  Everything is hopeful and positive.  And this is April’s apology scene the way the coffee cup was Jackson’s.  April telling Jackson he is a good father and that he never bailed on her and Harriet, is everything Jackson needed to hear to 100% let go of his fear of becoming his father.  These few, important lines allowed Jackson to go back to Robert and tell him that he doesn’t need him.  He met him, and now he can move on.  The shot of Jackson’s back walking confidently out the door of the diner into the sunlight was another really nice addition from Kevin.  Jackson is literally leaving the past behind him and moving toward his future.  

In case they had any doubts about their decision, Caroline is completely healed.  They go to check on her and she has her voice.  And we get another adorable scene of them communicating with only their eyes.  

The episode ends with Jackson narrating, again, about how important it is to speak up.  “We lose our words because the stakes are so high”  The camera shows Jackson and April looking at each other.  “And we have so much to lose” And we see the Avery family, Catherine, Jackson, April, and Harriet, reunited.  April asks for a ride home, to her home with Jackson, to signify that there is no more division between them as there was at the beginning of the episode.  

And this is why when Jesse and Sarah have been giving their scripted answer that Japril could go in several different directions, I don’t believe them.  If they were going to just stay friends after this episode, Caroline would have had the laryngectomy and lost her voice.  If they were going to split up completely, Caroline probably would have died.  But she was healed completely, and so were they.  And it wasn’t just their friendship that was healed.  That was not a good-bye night together.  So, when they tease that it could go any way, I think that is just to keep us on our toes until the end of the season where something else is waiting for us.  Could I be wrong?  Of course!  Shonda has definitely surprised me in the past.  But if they stay true to the writing and meaning behind this episode then I believe I’m right.

[tessatechaitea]

Batwoman #1

With all the pussy eating within the Rebirth issue, you'd think at least some of Batwoman's head would be full of oral sex and rim jobs.

Take a whole fist up her vagina?

Batwoman is currently hunting terrorists who have a serum that turns the user into monsters. That's probably going to be the premise of this comic book for the first five or six issues. Hopefully it'll change by then because I'm already bored with the conceit. Seeing people turn into monsters? Could that be a chance for Batwoman to reflect on her own actions? Will she question how much of a monster she'll become in the name of justice? Also, I mean, the whole "hero hunting down bad people" story is so old. It's like the only story comic books ever tell! What about a story about a hero hunting down the perfect cup of coffee? Instead of snatching the syringe out of the terrorist's hand so that he can't transform into a monster and kill a bunch of people as they battle, Batwoman throws him across the market where the syringe is suddenly too far away from her snatching ability. Oh! Is using the word snatch close enough to a pussy eating innuendo? I mean, I know I didn't say anything about eating but, come on! Snatch! Remember how there was a Bandersnatch in the Jabberwocky poem? That was funny. Anyway, the terrorist injects himself with Monster Venom and Batwoman is all, "Oh man! If only I could have stopped this from happening!" She says it really loudly so everybody can hear and then they'll all shake their heads and go, "Yeah, yeah! If only she could have stopped this from happening! It was totally out of her control the moment she threw the guy too far away from her instead of just taking the syringe!" Then the Daily Planet headline will be all "Batwoman Fucks Up!" I mean, the Gotham Gazette headline will read, "Batwoman Totally Does All She Can And Still Five Hundred People Dead! Totes Not Her Fault!" Batwoman isn't working alone. She's got Julia Pennyworth doing the Alfred Pennyworth job for her. No, that doesn't mean Julia cooks food that Batwoman never eats. It just means she says sassy and snarky things on the other end of the communicator.

Everybody but Batwoman knew he was going to monster up! She thought he was just giving himself an insulin injection.

Julia and Kate seem to have a more intimate relationship than Bruce and Alfred. I mean, sure, everybody in the world has a more intimate relationships with everybody else in the world than Bruce has with Alfred. But I mean intimate in a more pussy eating way.

Doing the dishes is innuendo, right? Like "licking a plate clean"?

Julia seems a little bit unsatisfied, mentioning that Kate often skimps out on "chores". I see the problem in their relationship already! Who would call eating ass a chore?! I was tired of typing "eating pussy" and then I thought, "A-ha! You know what is just as good? Eating ass!" It's also classier, I think. A woman appears and kills the monster man just as Batwoman is interrogating him. All Kate gets out of him before he's killed is "The many arms of death." The murderer gets away but leaves a knife behind so that Batwoman can find her later. I bet she has lots of dirty dishes. Kate Kane has a sophisticated computer system in her Bat-Yacht. It can do almost anything! But don't worry, it's not like a normal comic book where you're just expected to believe everything without a good scientific reason. Julia makes sure to let everybody know that this computer can do unimaginably impressive things because "it's been the 21st century for awhile now." That's good enough for me! Now when the computer tracks down the origin point of the knife to the island nation of Coryana by the process of 21st century technology, I don't have to put my face through the wall while screaming, "WHY NOT JUST DRIVE A FUCKING MOTORCYCLE UP THE SIDE OF A BUILDING?!" By the way, Coryana is where Kate spent her lost year in her early twenties. She broke up with the woman who runs the place (Safiyah or something. Anyway, it sounded like Sappho for particularly apt pussy eating reasons) but her ex didn't exactly like the idea of being broken up with. I bet the assassin's knife was meant for Kate! Not all assassins in comic books can be perfect killers who always do their job because their reputation is at stake. Some of them have to be sub-par wanna-bes. Kate and Julia head to Coryana so Kate can get his whole Safiyah Nemesis story out of the way right off the bat. You'd think Bennett and Tynion would have kept it looming in the background for awhile but I guess they're the type of person who jumps into bed just looking to blow the load as quickly as possible so they can get back to playing video games. The Ranking! No change! I hope the second issue is as uninteresting as this one so I can drop this series! Not because I don't like Batwoman. The New 52 Batwoman series was terrific until the writer and artist quit. But I'm currently looking for any excuse to drop as many comic books as possible.

[beyondforks]

Release Day Review! Fanning the Flames by Chris Cannon

Fanning the Flames (Going Down in Flames #4) by Chris Cannon Genre: Young Adult (Fantasy Romance) Expected publication: March 6, 2017 Publisher: Entangled Teen

Bryn McKenna has it all. Even though she’s a hybrid dragon, she’s finally fitting in the new shape-shifting dragon world that’s become her own. But her grandparent’s want to ruin everything by making Bryn’s nightmare of an arranged marriage to Jaxon Westgate a reality. It doesn’t help that Jaxon’s father is on a witch hunt for Rebel sympathizers and Bryn finds herself in his line of fire.

If she doesn’t say “I do,” she’ll lose everything. Good-bye flying. Good-bye best friends. Good-bye magic. But if she bends to her grandparents’ will and agrees to marry Jaxon she’ll lose the love of her life—her knight. 

Fanning the Flames is the fourth book in the Going Down in Flames series by Chris Cannon. This one wasn't as action packed and fast paced as the previous books, but so many things happened that needed to happen in order to move the story forward. Plus, there was a little more mystery this time with secret tunnels and hidden treasures. I'm still Team Jaxon. Am I alone in this? I hope not. As much as Bryn and Jaxon hate each other, they are growing up fast and are at least learning to respect each other...for the most part. Bryn will be Bryn and Jaxon will be Jaxon. Valmont, on the other hand? We get to know him more and more with each book, and I just don't think he's good for Bryn. He's not necessarily a bad dude, but I got tired of him pretty early in this story. Things got a little darker, and there were some definite emotional moments, both happy and sad. I thought we'd get closer to a resolution, but I'm afraid Bryn has a lot more work to do, which is good for us. It means more books! Yay! The ARC of Fanning the Flames by Chris Cannon was kindly provided to me by the publisher through NetGalley for review. The opinions are my own.

Bryn untangled herself from Valmont’s arms and legs and went first to her room to smack off the alarm and then to Valmont’s. By the time she made it back to the living room, he was sitting up rubbing his eyes. “I don’t even know what day it is,” he muttered. “You’re asking the wrong girl,” Bryn said. “I slept through several.” Valmont yawned. “Friday…I think it’s Friday.” “Thank God I don’t have to go to class.” She rejoined him on the couch. “I say we sleep as long as possible.” “No argument there.” He settled back onto the couch, and she curled up against him, using his chest as a pillow. For the moment, everything felt right in her world. She didn’t expect it to stay that way for long, but she was learning to appreciate the little things while they lasted. Too soon, Valmont was rubbing her shoulder. “Bryn, we should probably wake up. I think we missed lunch.” Fuzzy headed, Bryn sat up and tried to process that information. “I slept through lunch?” “I think the pizza you had before bed last night counted as breakfast, but you probably need to be fed.” Valmont stood. “I’m going to shower and then we’ll talk about food.” “Okay.” Her stomach growled. How had she slept through two meals? That evil herbal potion had kicked her butt. After a quick shower, Bryn threw on jeans and a T-shirt. As far as she was concerned, if she was excused from classes, there was no reason to observe the stupid dress code. Valmont pointed at her outfit. “Did you know your shirt is on inside out?” Bryn looked down. Sure enough, he was right. “Crap. Hold on.” She went into the bedroom and pulled her shirt off, flipped it right side out, and put it back on. Back in the living room, she said, “If anyone asks why we’re not observing the dress code, we can say we thought it was Saturday.” “Works for me.” He checked his watch. “The cafe downstairs should be empty since everyone will still be in class for two more hours.” “Good. Then no one will see how much I eat.” Now that she was fully awake, her stomach was protesting the lack of regular meals. The waiter in the restaurant seemed surprised when Bryn ordered three entrees, but he didn’t comment. Valmont sat back and watched her finish off her third helping of Chicken Cordon Bleu while he drank his second cup of coffee. “I’m hoping if I caffeinate myself I can stay awake and go to bed at a reasonable time.” Bryn yawned. “I know exactly what you mean. I swear I could go right back up to the room and fall asleep, but I don’t want to. It feels like I’ve missed too much already.” “Clint and Ivy will make sure you’re awake and don’t miss out on dinner.” “I probably should have called them last night.” Bryn took one last bite of food and then pushed her plate away. She wasn’t hungry anymore, but she wasn’t full of energy, either. “Would it be wrong if I went back to sleep?” “You can go to bed,” Valmont said. “I think I’m going to call my family. The restaurant should be slow right now.” “Okay.” Bryn lay in bed, listening to Valmont’s end of the conversation. It’s not like she was eavesdropping on purpose. Not really. But he was sitting on the couch, which backed up to her bedroom wall. While she couldn’t decipher all his words, he laughed often, which made her feel better about taking over his life. Still she couldn’t drift off to sleep. Lillith’s words from a few days before wriggled around in her brain. Bryn never would have guessed Lillith would be the one to try and call them out on their relationship. And the fact that she’d suggested he start seeing Megan irritated the living hell out of her. Lillith put up with a loveless marriage to Ferrin. How could she want the same thing for her son? At this point, Bryn respected Jaxon and appreciated his intelligence and fierce determination, but that didn’t mean she wanted to kiss him. “Megan? Oh, hello, how are you?” Bryn sat up. Why was Valmont talking to Megan on the phone? Weird. And now he was laughing. Why would Valmont’s family put Megan on the phone when he called? She’d bet her grandparent’s fortune that his grandmother was the one who suggested it. Evil, scheming, terrible-licorice- flavored-cookie-baking woman. Fire stirred in Bryn’s gut. There was no reason to be upset. Megan was just a cute girl with a crush on Valmont. One of many, Bryn assumed. The waitress wasn’t anyone special to him. Not yet, at least. The type of bond Bryn shared with Valmont, no other female could ever share with him. She was his dragon. Human females couldn’t compete with their connection. Right? “You know you’ll have to break the bond when we’re married,” Jaxon said. Bryn blinked. When had Jaxon come into her room? And why in the hell was he standing there wearing nothing but navy boxer shorts decorated with glittery silver W’s that twinkled like a disco ball? This could not be real. Nope. She had to be dreaming. She slammed her eyelids closed and rubbed her eyes. Not real. Had to be a dream. She opened her eyes and Jaxon stood in front of her dresser staring into the mirror and flexing his biceps. “I’ve been thinking about growing my hair longer, so I could wear one of those man-buns. Do you think that would be a good look for me?” Okay. She really needed to wake up now. A knock on the door had her sitting upright with her heart beating like crazy. “Hello?” The door opened and Ivy popped her head in. “Sorry to wake you, but it’s time for dinner.” “I’ve never been so glad to be awake in my life. I just had the weirdest dream.” Ivy laughed and entered the room. Bryn did a double take. Ivy was wearing black pants and a white shirt with a W embroidered on the front pocket. And she was pushing a cart full of food. “Women in your condition do have the strangest dreams, Mrs. Westgate.” “My condition?” Bryn threw off the covers and looked down at her legs, what she could see of them, the part that wasn’t obscured by her very large, very pregnant belly which sported its own sparkling silver W. “Oh, hell no.” “Sorry,” Ivy said. “I didn’t mean to offend you, Ma’am.” “What? No, you aren’t the problem. It’s this stupid dream.” She really needed to wake up. Closing her eyes, she focused on feeling the pillow underneath her head or the sensation of the sheet draped over her body. She was in bed, in her dorm room. And she was going to wake up. Now. Slowly, she opened her eyes. Valmont stood next to her bed, concern etched on his forehead. “Bryn, are you all right?” “That depends, am I awake?” “I hope so. You were tossing and turning when I came in. I had to shake you to wake you up.” “I was having the most bizarre dreams,” Bryn sat up and touched her stomach, which was in its normal, not-possibly- knocked-up-with-Jaxon’s-child state, thank goodness. “Ivy called. They wanted to make sure you were coming down to dinner. I told them we’d meet them in half an hour.” “Good.” “What were you dreaming about?” Valmont asked. No way would she tell him about Jaxon in his twinkling disco ball boxer briefs. “It was a bunch of weird stuff thrown together. I knew it was a dream, but I couldn’t wake up. Jaxon asked me if he should grow his hair out and wear a man bun.” Valmont’s eyes went wide and then he said, “Bizarre is an understatement.”

Check out my review of the previous books in this series!

Award winning author Chris Cannon lives in Southern Illinois with her husband and her three dogs, Pete the shih tzu who sleeps on her desk while she writes, Molly the ever-shedding yellow lab, and Tyson the sandwich-stealing German Shepherd Beagle. She believes coffee is the Elixir of Life. Most evenings after work, you can find her sucking down caffeine and writing fire-breathing paranormal adventures and snarky contemporary romance. To learn more about Chris Cannon and her books, visit her website.You can also find her on Goodreads, Facebook, Tumblr, Pinterest, and Twitter.