#and tbh i was really surprised upon first entering the fandom and seeing some of the characters are viewed with so much vitriol by some

[bardengarde]

Every now and again I'd like to post my takes on the Trapper vs BJ debate, but I won't because I value my sanity and because I love both characters for different reasons- why do they have to fight???

[mcwriting]

La Vita Dolce

[Edit] Before you read this, I scheduled this post last week and forgot about it until I logged on and realized it had posted. I want to take a minute to recognize George Floyd. This was in no way uploaded to diminish this situation or pretend like it hasn’t happened. It was a disgusting act of violence and murder.

Thank you for understanding, and I hope you can all forgive my carelessness.

------

Hiiii everyone. I know you all just want me to update starstruck or release the London boy sequel but here’s this instead ;)

Tbh it’s mostly an excuse for me to use some of my Italian in a one shot but it’s cute too!

Fandom: Tom Holland

Ship: Tom x reader

Setting: Venice, Italy

Word Count: 2678

Warnings: Alcohol consumption, but that’s it I think

Rating: K 

+

Early summer in Italy was like no other. 

Sure it was a little hot, but heat didn’t beat the beautiful sights, delicious food, and incredible history it held. 

Studying abroad in Venice was like a dream. You’d found a small group to hang with from your classes, and they were happy to have you around to translate since you’d studied the language back home first.

With only a week left to go, you all headed to a bar near Piazza San Marco for some Saturday-night bellinis. You ordered for everyone and waited for the drinks, conversing with the bartender in Italian.

Nearby, you’d caught the eye of a certain brunette boy seated with his friends drinking negronis. 

“Look at that girl, mate. There’s just something about the Italians,” quipped a very tipsy Tom Holland. “Too bad she probably doesn’t speak any English.”

Once retrieving the beverages, your group unknowingly sat at a table right near Tom’s, where you proposed a toast.

“A la vita dolce! Cin cin!” you exclaimed, your friends echoing the last part. (To the sweet life! Cheers!)

Afterwards, you reverted back to English in your typical accent as if nothing had ever happened.

Tom was shocked. He’d been convinced you were a native speaker. Unfortunately for him and you, however, the alcohol was taking a toll on him, and he resigned himself back to his hotel before he did something stupid.

+

Tuesday afternoon you were free, so your group decided to head back to Piazza San Marco to go take pictures at the docks and maybe grab a gelato.

Unfortunately, that plan was derailed when you found the square blocked off and a crew with cameras and other equipment. You were about to head back when you heard a male voice shouting.

“Chi vorrebbe essere in un film?”

“What’s that?” one friend, Sabrina, asked.

“He’s asking if anyone wants to be in a movie,” you answered. “They must be looking for extras.”

“We totally should!” the other, Anthony, exclaimed.

You all looked at each other. You were dressed decently enough, more like locals than tourists, and you weren’t doing anything better. So, you headed over.

“Lo vorremmo fare, signore,” you said upon coming closer.  (We would like to do it, sir)

“Ah, perfetto! Voi siete perfetti! Seguitemi, per piacere.” (Ah, perfect! You all are perfect! Follow me, please.)

After signing a few papers and explaining that you were Americans and mostly spoke English, you were led to wait with the other extras who were a decent mix of Italian and English speaking people. 

There was still no indication of what they were filming, but suddenly your stomach dropped and heart about leapt from your chest when you saw Tom Holland pass by.

“Ohhhhh man. Oh no. Guys did you see that? That was Tom. Holland. that just walked by. This is insane! How did I not know he was in town!”

Your friends and you tried to stay calm as more time passed and finally a director came to give everyone instructions.

The scene involved Tom talking with someone, so the extras were placed around the piazza doing different activities. You and your friends were sat at a little table to fake talking over glasses of wine.

A while later, Tom and the other cast came out to discuss the scene and do some blocking. You watched them converse, taking a mental image of how Tom looked in costume and the way his hair was styled.

While the director spoke to someone else, you accidentally made eye contact with Tom, who scrunched his eyebrows in confusion at you before turning towards a voice calling his name.

“Woah. Tom Holland just looked at us! This is the best day of my life!” Sabrina said quietly amongst you. 

“Yeah that’s awesome, but did you see the look he gave me? That was really strange,” you followed.

“Maybe you looked familiar,” she replied, so you shrugged it off and prepared for the first take.

+

Many takes later (which involved the actors breaking a few times), and everyone was taking a break to change camera angles and use the bathroom. The extras were allowed to stop by craft services and grab some water as it was a hot day.

While there, you noticed some people going up to Tom to meet him, but you stayed behind to respect his space. You instead continued to watch him while your friends took pictures and talked excitedly with another pair of Americans.

Again, you made eye contact with him, so you quickly darted your eyes away, pretending to join the conversation. 

You became more self aware about how you looked, even though you knew you were fine. You’d worn a flowy floral dress and some nice sandals for pictures, and your hair and makeup were lightly done to compliment the look.

You glanced over again and he was still looking at you, which was getting on your nerves. You were seriously considering going to ask what his problem was when a crew member came to tell everyone to head back to set.

As you began walking that way, you took one last glance back at Tom, who was smiling at you, and quickly described what happened to Sabrina and Anthony.

+

Another set of takes and you paused again to prepare for one last camera set up. This time, your group decided to remain at the table and enjoy the piazza’s views like you’d initially planned.

A few minutes passed of you all just enjoying your time when Sabrina hit your arm lightly.

“Omg y/n!”

“What? Is there a pigeon above me?” you asked, ducking.

“No it’s, it’s-”

“Hi there, sorry to interrupt,” a British male voice spoke. 

You froze momentarily, then slowly turned to see Tom standing right next to you, causing your heartbeat to once again go wild. He looked at you directly.

“Sorry if I was making you uncomfortable earlier, but would you have happened to be at the bar just down that way Saturday?” he asked, pointing vaguely to his right.

“The one around the corner?” you countered. He nodded. “Yeah, actually. We were out celebrating the end of our classes this week. How come?”

There was no way this was happening, right?

“Well, I was there with some mates and thought I recognized you. You speak Italian, right?”

You chuckled at his (correct) claim.

“Yeah, I do. I’m usually the translator for these two fools,” you joked, gesturing forward to your friends. “I’m assuming you heard me speaking to the bartender?”

“Yeah. I actually thought you were a local until I heard you speak English. I was gonna try and talk to you but I was intimidated and my mates needed me to get home. Let’s just say I was somewhat drunk.”

Your heart skipped a beat. Tom Holland. Noticed you in a bar, but didn’t say anything because he was intimidated. This was truly the best day ever.

“Well I can promise you I’m not intimidating, although I will admit that earlier I was gonna confront you about your staring at me.”

Tom laughed and went to reply when he was interrupted by a call from one of his costars to come block for the cameras.

“Well, that’s my cue. See you later?”

“For sure,” was all you could reply as he jogged off. Once he was at a decent distance, you all squealed in delight.

+

Finally, they wrapped for the day as the sun began to provide pink and orange streaks in the sky rather than illuminating the area as before. 

You and your friends prepared to go when a crew member came up to you.

“Excuse me, but you’ve been requested to return to set tomorrow,” he said.

“Wait what?” was all you could say.

“They’d like for you to be extras again for tomorrow’s shoot. Asked for you three specifically. If you’ll follow me I’ll take you over to get your information down and tell you instructions for tomorrow.”

The three of you followed close behind, looking amongst each other in surprise. As you talked to someone in charge, Tom walked by with his brother and best friend. 

His eyes caught yours and he gave you a wink and mouthed “See you tomorrow.” Of course he’d been behind all this. You smirked in response but kept your mouth shut for now, you’d be able to mess with him tomorrow.

+

After one easy final Wednesday morning, Sabrina, Anthony, and you headed out to grab some cappuccinos and pastries for colazione, then made your way around the canals towards set.

They were set up in a building not far from Il Ponte di Rialto along La Canale Grande to get shots around the bridge. You showed a clearance you’d been given the day before and entered the building.

You were dressed today in blush pink palazzo pants and a yellow flowered crop top with flowing sleeves. They’d asked you to specifically wear pants, which you figured had to do with getting in and out of boats.

You followed a halls to a room where other extras awaited instruction. Eventually you were told that everyone would be placed around the sidewalks and in boats once it was time to shoot.

The three of you sat down and were talking when a woman with a clipboard entered the room.

“Is there a y/n y/l/n here?”

You stood up, confused.

“That would be me,” you replied, aware of everyone looking at you.

“Oh good. You’ve been requested for a different part so if you could just follow me...” she trailed, turning out the door.

You looked at Sabrina and Anthony in confusion, but they just gestured for you to leave as you rushed after the woman. She led you to another room where you found directors and actors conversing.

Those facing the door glanced up as you walked in, and Tom’s eyes caught yours. He smiled and fully turned towards you, causing everyone to face you.

“I hear you’re bilingual. Do you know how to memorize a couple lines?” the director asked as soon as you were close.

“I think I can handle that,” you replied nervously.

“Alright good. You’re gonna pretend to do some translating for Tom here since our other actor couldn’t make it. Why don’t you guys go run that while we finish setting things up outside.”

Another person handed you a couple script pages as you and Tom were once again ushered to a new room.

“You know I never officially introduced myself. I’m y/n,” you said once you were alone.

“I know. I overheard your friend say it yesterday. I’m Tom by the way, but I’m guessing you knew that too.”

You laughed talked a few more moments. Eventually an Italian man entered the room and you got to work. The scene involved Tom yelling if anyone could translate Italian, you saying yes, and him pulling you from a sondolo to do so. It was only a few lines, but it was the biggest thing you’d ever done.

Eventually came time to actually shoot the scene, and you waved excitedly to Sabrina and Anthony, who stood on the bridge. They gave you thumbs up and Anthony snuck a picture of you next to Tom.

You quickly blocked in front of the cameras, then got into the tethered boat where three others were sitting. After a few moments of adjustments, the director finally called “action.”

Tom attempted to speak to the Italian man, then frantically looked around the area.

“Does anyone here know English and Italian?” he called.

You went from pretending to speak to the others to looking his way.

“I do!”

He muttered a line, then came and helped pull you from the boat clumsily. You almost tripped, but continued on.

“I need you to tell me what he’s saying,” Tom said. You nodded.

The man, Tom, and you spoke between each other quickly, and the scene ended off with Tom yelling out a “Thank you!” as he ran towards the bridge.

You cut, received some notes, then reset. The main concern was around you getting out of the boat since you’d almost fallen. You ran it exactly the same a couple of times, thankfully not tripping as before.

Later, you were allowed to take some creative liberty and go slightly off script. Since you had to translate lines, Tom and the other man changed it up a bit, so you just followed their leads. 

At one point Tom missed a line so badly that you all broke out laughing. Another time, the man said something in Italian that you misheard, causing you to translate, then realize how wrong it sounded and stop the scene in a fit of giggles.

Finally, however, you were done and they prepared for a shot with some other actors. Tom came up to you as Sabrina and Anthony congratulated you.

“Great job back there, and sorry for almost pulling you into the canal a few times.”

“Hey, water under the bridge,” you winked, “I’m just glad you didn’t dunk me since that water is so nasty. I’d probably have made you pay for emotional damages.”

“I definitely don’t blame you. I really wanted to ask you though if you’d like to go to dinner Friday night? Now that I’m sober and slightly less intimidated, I want to try this again.”

You smiled and glanced back at your friends who were silently trying to hype you up.

“That sounds perfect.”

+

It was your three year anniversary with Tom, and he was surprising you with a trip to an undisclosed location from London. All he’d said was to pack summery clothes and at least one outfit for a nice night out.

You waited with the bags for him to print the tickets and your heart fluttered upon seeing them.

You were going back to Venice, the place you’d first met. 

After filming that scene, you’d been eventually called to Atlanta for a couple of reshoots, and later invited to the premiere. Almost a year of mostly flirting between your Venice date and the premiere led to Tom asking you to be his date that night, and the rest was history.

You hadn’t been back since, so you held back tears as you looked over the water as the plane landed, thinking of all the incredible memories you’d made when studying abroad.

A water taxi brought you to a hotel right off La Canale Grande, where you were shown to a lofted hotel room with a small balcony overlooking the water.

A few days after arriving, Tom told you to dress up, as he’d made reservations for dinner at a prestigious restaurant. After the meal, you strolled around the canals as the nightlife began to come alive.

It wasn’t long until you came upon a bar, the same one Tom had spotted you in about 4 years ago. 

You went in, ordering the same drinks you’d had back then, except this time Tom knew you were his.

“Cin cin?” Tom asked, raising his glass.

“Si, cin cin,” you replied, mimicking the movement before taking a sip.

Eventually, you left and headed back to your hotel. It was late, so only the streetlights illuminated the walkways, dancing off the water in the wind.

You were now in a simple silk robe standing on the balcony, eyes closed as you listened to the sounds of drunken laughter and boats paddling along. 

Two warm arms enveloped you from behind and you let yourself melt into them, leaning your head back to rest under Tom’s chin.

“What are you thinking in that pretty little head of yours?” he whispered.

“How much I love this place. And you. And how I wish we could stay like this forever.”

He hummed and swayed with you for a few minutes before flipping you around to face him. He pulled you into a deep kiss.

“Let’s go inside, babe. This city doesn’t need to see everything we do,” he breathed, a mischievous smile on his face.

With that, you stepped inside, closed the door, and ended the night in the sweetest way possible.

Truly, this was la vita dolce.

+

Ahhh I’m so happy I finished this. Honestly, I probably could’ve put more Italian in this but I’m lazy and didn’t feel like thinking of lines and things to translate back and forth lol. Let me know if you liked this and would like to see more things that utilize Italy and the language! Love you all, as always :)

[theres-a-goldensky]

32 + 6 Good Omens Fic Recs

There have been so many good stories to come out of the Good Omens fandom that I thought I should finally go about making a rec list and give credit to the ones that have given me the most joy.

As ever, feel free to reblog and check out my other rec lists for the following fandoms:

The Untamed list one and two - various pairings, mostly Wangxian

IT chapter 2 list one and two - Reddie

Various BL Series fic (fandoms: Love By Chance, TharnType, 2Moons series, My Engineer, Until We Meet Again, 2gether, History3: Trapped)

Or just head over to my bookmarks on AO3.

All fics are completed. All fics are Aziraphale/Crowley.

** denotes a favorite

1. you knew my name on sight by brinnanza - “This wasn’t me, you know,” Crowley says, the words out of his mouth before he’s made the conscious choice to utter them. “Not just the library, but the whole civil war. You know me; I’ve mostly been getting drunk at Bacchanals.”

“I know,” says Aziraphale. (general, 8,300 words)

Reccer’s note: Aziraphale knows Crowley, perhaps even better than he knows himself. This is a bittersweet story about two human shaped-beings who love the Earth, even when it hurts.

2. End with Hope by PepperPrints - In 537 A.D., the Black Knight enters King Arthur's Tournament of Champions, with quite disastrous consequences, and Sir Aziraphale of the Round Table takes it upon himself to intervene -- which, naturally, also turns out to be quite disastrous in itself. (explicit, 15,888 words)

Reccer’s note: Such great pining from Crowley here. This is a really meaty story with a satisfying ending and a gorgeous sex scene, but it definitely leaves me wishing for a modern sequel to see what happens next.

3. Fraternizing by kalpurna - Aziraphale has an unexpected house guest. Crowley disapproves. (explicit, 5,720 words)

Reccer’s note: A curious young angel comes down from Heaven to investigate what things are like on Earth. He asks a lot of very...awkward questions about Aziraphale and Crowley’s relationship. It seems to diverge from canon in that Heaven knows about Aziraphale working with Crowley and sort of looks the other way.

4.  Some strangeness in the proportion by trailingoff -  ‘I assume your punishment involved the destruction of the demon, but I am not aware of the details,’ says the Angel. ‘The description was redacted from your file and labelled “Highly Classified” with a red stamp.’

*Aziraphale is trying to mourn in peace, but the cause of his grief keeps bothering him. (teen, 11,461 words)

Reccer’s note: Heavy angst warning. This one hurt, but in the best way. Angst with a happy ending. Gabriel figures out the best way to hurt Aziraphale: he makes Crowley into another soulless angel. This story contains grieving and suicidal ideation and attempted suicide. Aziraphale does not take Crowley’s passing well.

5. In Style by shinyopals -  ‘You can’t get kidnapped by the forces of Hell looking like that!’ insists Crowley. ‘I have certain standards to maintain!’

Letting someone else drive your body is weird enough without them accidentally ruining your look. Luckily Crowley's around to fix things. (general, 2,124 words)

Reccer’s note: I am an absolute sucker for stories about playing with hair or massage or any kind of pleasant, comforting touching, and this is a great one. I liked Crowley’s voice in this, and the whole thing was very sweet and cozy.

6. Birds of a Feather by idiopathicsmile -  “Isn’t this nice?” says Aziraphale with badly feigned casualness the next time Crowley stops by for a late night drink.

Crowley is all set to reply, words lined up in his mouth waiting to go, when Aziraphale adds, “I mean, all of the books and furniture and bottles of wine and things?”

Aziraphale nests. Crowley relearns some crucial facts about angelic courtship rituals. (teen, 3608 words)

Reccer’s note: Aziraphale decides to go all in on courting Crowley, but Crowley is entirely befuddled by what is happening. Some nice mutual pining here, followed by a bit of supernatural, glowy sex.

7. By Definition by idiopathicsmile - Aziraphale has certainly dabbled in the world of carnal delights over the years, most notably in the late nineteenth century, when a certain infernal adversary was enjoying a century-long nap and seemingly the only way to pass the time had been to develop some hobbies.  (explicit, 3074 words)

Reccer’s note: Aziraphale is not that into sex, but he’s VERY into Crowley and watching him come apart beneath him. And Crowley is VERY interested in, you know, having that happen. So things work out quite nicely. Even though the physical sensations of sex don’t do much for him, the author does a nice job of showing how Aziraphale still luxuriates in watching Crowley. It’s super hot. Crowley agrees.

8. I am not scared of the elements by sparklespiff - After the loveliest meal of his entire existence, Aziraphale followed Crowley back to the Bentley. He wondered if it would be too forward to try to hold Crowley's free hand, or if he ought to wait for Crowley to reach out. Probably he should wait. Crowley had done the asking, after all, and would better know what he was doing. And anyway, riding in the Bentley was dangerous enough without removing one of Crowley's hands from doing something theoretically necessary for the operation of an automobile. 

or: Two occult/ethereal beings with one (1) brain cell between them attempt to end 6000 years of pining. (general, 3609 words)

Reccer’s note: Aziraphale thinks it’s go time after the events of the show, but Crowley believes that Aziraphale has once again put on the brakes. They’re working at cross-purposes, but they both want the same thing. Eventually it all works out.

9. attachment by artenon - 1941. Crowley is hurt more than he lets on from walking on the consecrated ground of the church. Aziraphale takes care of him while grappling with the realization that he's in love with Crowley. (teen, 4455 words)

A bit of mild hurt/comfort. It’s always nice when stories have Aziraphale helping Crowley, because it’s often the other way around. And you can never go wrong with a good h/c.

10. speeding up by tamerofdarkstars - Crowley stopped calculating the minute shifts required to bring his knee into contact with Aziraphale’s and looked instead at the divine being next to him currently licking butter off his fingers.

“Wait. You picked this because you thought I’d like it?” (general, 1725 words)

Reccer’s note: This is one of the shortest fics on the list, but what it lacks in length, it makes up for in utter preciousness. So many pure ‘what if I held his hand??’ thoughts.

11.** Five Times Crowley Fails To Demonically Seduce Anyone, And One Time He Doesn't Need To by shinyopals -  'I need you to tell me how to find a human willing to have sex with me, and then how to persuade them to actually do it in the least unpleasant way possible for everyone involved. If I don’t manage at least one seduction, I’m going to get recalled back Down There.’ 

Aziraphale stared at Crowley for a moment. ‘I think…’ he said delicately, ‘that we should have that drink.’ (mature, 11,166 words)

Reccer’s note: Oh, the feelings. The feelings. Crowley is forced by Hell to engage in some human seduction, when all he wants to do is be seduced by Aziraphale. The pining. The light angst. The gorgeous ending. Read this story.

12. ** Anywhere You Want to Go by Aria -  Aziraphale knew Crowley liked him. He'd known it with a horrible clarity since around 1100, which was at least a thousand years after the first time he'd thought of kissing Crowley, and some eight hundred and odd before it occurred to him that the specific quality of Crowley's regard could be very dangerous for both of them, if they actually admitted their feelings aloud.

It was also two weeks since any of that had mattered at all anymore. (explicit, 9990 words)

Reccer’s note: I wish this story was about 10,000 words longer. The sweet and slow coming together here is lovely. This is a South Downs cottage story, where, after everything, Aziraphale is finally ready to face his feelings for Crowley and Crowley’s feelings for him in return. Crowley’s disbelieving, besotted, overwhelmed reaction is my new favorite thing in this fandom.

13. human childcare for the occult (and ethereal) by suzukiblu - The Dowlings miraculously need a nanny and a gardener at the same time, and Aziraphale suggests they flip for it. Crowley takes one moment to picture Aziraphale nannying anyone and calls dibs. It’s not that Aziraphale’s terrible with humans, he’s just, well. Terrible with humans. Truly, truly terrible.

He doesn’t want to deal with Aziraphale getting metaphorically guillotined or kicking up security’s paranoia, basically. A gardener can be a little odd, and no one will notice or care. Except Warlock, perhaps, as the only other person with any real reason to spend much time out on the lawn, but Warlock’s the one they want noticing so that’ll be fine, Crowley’s sure.

Even if it does make him cringe a little, leaving Aziraphale in charge of the plants. (general, 11,954 words)

Reccer’s note: As with all nanny/gardener stories, you need to mentally erase Aziraphale’s horrifying gardener disguise from your brain in order to enjoy this. But this tale of Crowley and Aziraphale becoming “godfathers” to Warlock and making a cozy little life together at the Dowlings is wonderful.

14. Naps and Other Surprises by out_there - The angel is a surprisingly good kisser. All soft lips and gentle sighs, and the careful graze of fingertips along Crowley's jaw. But there's also the scrape of fingernails at the nape of his neck, the pins and needles shiver it sends down his spine, the slightest catch of teeth on his lower lip. (explicit, 4,312 words)

Reccer’s note: Another slow and cozy fic that starts with Aziraphale slowly and carefully giving Crowley a massage and ends with him slowly and carefully eating Crowley out. Pretty nice day for Crowley tbh.

15 & 16. Ineffable Endearments series by TheLadyZephyr - So far this series includes two stories: Four times Crowley called Aziraphale "sweetheart" without noticing (and One time he did) and Four times Crowley fails to cope with Aziraphale using a pet name (and One time he starts to get used to it)

(not rated, 6,130 words total for the series)

Reccer’s note: Look, if you’re going to do the pet names things, I think you have to really lean into it, and that’s what this author does. It’s sweet how adorably flustered they each get in these stories. So fluffy.

17. An Angel who did not so much Fall In Love as Settle Into It Gradually by TheLadyZephyr - Crowley was standing in the middle of the room, hands in his pockets, looking a little lost. Aziraphale eyed the distance between them. Five steps. Five steps, and six thousand years, and a battlefield spanning an eternity.

The story of the little moments over the millennia that shape an angel’s regard for a demon, and the way he slowly, with great reluctance but inevitable surety, falls in love. (general, 7,548 words)

Reccer’s note: I wish more stories would span the centuries the way that this one does. There’s so much material ripe for a good love story in it, and this author seems to understand that. Slow burn that I wish was a little slower, but still left me satisfied, especially the kiss at the end, when Aziraphale literally says “fuck it.”

18. get religion quick (cause you're looking divine) by brinnanza - So it was fine. Even if Crowley couldn’t love him, he clearly liked him well enough, and that was almost the same thing.

It no doubt would have continued to be fine, or at least fine-adjacent, were it not for a narrowly averted apocalypse and several bottles of a really quite nice Riesling Aziraphale had found in the back room of his newly restored bookshop. (general, 4,285 words)

Reccer’s note: Why, why, why aren’t there more stories with Aziraphale being sure that Crowley can’t love him? This is wonderful seeing the pining from the other side. And of course Aziraphale is completely wrong and completely silly, but that just makes it better. Stars in my eyes for this one.

19. Wings and How to Hide Them by triedunture - Crowley's been annoyingly in love for six thousand years. What's another lifetime between friends? 

Or: Aziraphale definitely fucks and isn't that just perfect?  (Mature,10,134 words)

Reccer’s note: Crowley knows that Aziraphale has sex, so he assumes it must just be him he doesn’t want. Aziraphale, meanwhile, assumes that Crowley just isn’t Into That. 6000 years of Crowley pining. I will honestly never get enough of this trope. Not ever. I will die wanting more.

20. the first week of the rest of their lives by Deputychairman - “Port gives the worst hangovers in the world, did you know that?” Crowley slurred when the bottle was all gone. “Don’t know who got credit for that one. Nice drink, lovely drink, shame it makes you want to die in the morning.”

“Such a shame,” Aziraphale agreed sadly, watching Crowley stretch out on his sofa. He did like port. He liked Crowley stretched out on his sofa, too. (mature, 4,618 words)

Reccer’s note: The world doesn’t end, but Aziraphale needs a bit of time to ease himself into the idea of a life with Crowley. Crowley obliges him, as ever. I like the way that the sex feels inevitable here, like they’re just falling naturally into it. I also like that Crowley is the one to ravish Aziraphale first.

21. Not So Blue by pineapplecrushface - Aziraphale presses his suit. Crowley mostly has a lot of questions. (mature, 5,501 words)

Reccer’s note: After the events of the show, things start to change and Crowley doesn’t know if he’s quite ready for it. The way that Crowley comes to recognize Aziraphale’s feelings for what they are was so beautiful.

22. Almost Human Moments by shinyopals - The fact that Crowley's largest contribution to saving the world had been to encourage a scared child was an uncomfortable fact that he was endeavouring to bottle up. He was actually doing quite well at bottling it up because of all the other uncomfortable facts he was currently dealing with that he couldn’t even begin to figure out how to bottle up.  

Such as: Hell was going to find him, and make him pay.

After the Apocalypse-that-wasn't, Crowley broods, Aziraphale thinks, and somehow they manage to muddle through. (teen, 6,701 words)

Reccer’s note: The visceral and immediate reaction that Crowley has to the idea of Aziraphale going down to Hell was so lovely. There’s also some very intense hand holding that really pushes my buttons. The world needs more desperate hand holding.

23. ** Ever After by ArabellaFaith - We all know they're in love. But maybe, now that the head offices are off their backs, Crowley and Aziraphale can actually DO something about it.

A rambling descent into love confessions, sexual exploration, and what it means for these two to live happily ever after. (explicit, 16,450 words)

Reccer’s note: So much sex. So much really, really good sex. Desperate sex. First time sex. Sex with feelings Is there anything better in fanfic? I really don’t think so.

24 & 25. ** It’s Not The End of the World, Dear series by jessthereckless -  Series includes two stories so far: Lie Back And Think Of Dinner and Still My Heart Has Wings

After averting the apocalypse, Crowley and Aziraphale re-examine their relationship and reach the obvious conclusion: they're retired, they're in love and they're damn well going to enjoy it. Providing, of course, that they can stay out of trouble. (mature, 20,745 words total for the series)

Reccer’s note: WHY ISN’T THERE MORE MAGICAL SEX IN THIS FANDOM? I want literally earth-shattering orgasms, give them to me, people. These stories are so good, because the author packs so much feeling and sensuality into every agonized scene between them. There’s desperation, there’s so much love, and there’s really weird-but-hot sex.

26. Taking the Liberty by CartWrite - After swapping bodies (but before their respective sides come for them), Aziraphale spends the night in Crowley's flat trying to figure out how to talk, walk, and be convincing as Crowley. Trouble is, he's such a convincing Crowley, he starts to convince himself to... well. Things get out of hand. (explicit, 3,463 words)

Reccer’s note: Is it really masturbation if you’re bodyswapped with the guy you’ve spent 6000 years pretending not to be obsessed with? Asking for a friend.

27. a city wall and a trampoline by kafkian - In their cottage in the South Downs, when Crowley eventually succeeds in getting Aziraphale to use a laptop, it takes Aziraphale literal hours to get past the default Windows screensavers of picturesque locations because 'oh, look, isn't it lovely, Crowley!'

5 times Crowley knows he’s in love with Aziraphale + 1 time he knows the reverse. (teen, 4,727 words)

Reccer’s note: Crowley just being so endlessly fond of Aziraphale fills me with so much joy. And it’s here again. It’s technically five times that he knows he’s in love with Aziraphale, but it’s also five times that Crowley tries so hard to make Aziraphale happy.

28. A Home at the Beginning of the World by stereobone - "Oh," Aziraphale says. "I think Crowley might have moved in with me." (explicit, 5,867 words)

Reccer’s note: A visit with Anathema and Newt helps Aziraphale realize some very clear things that he’s been missing.

29. Too Generous by rfsmiley - “You are too generous to trifle with me. If your feelings are still what they were last April, tell me so at once. My affections and wishes are unchanged; but one word from you will silence me on this subject for ever.”

Or: what happened after the [ we all got hit by a ] bus scene (aka "you could stay at my place, if you like")....(teen, 1,501 words)

Reccer’s note: Crowley offers Aziraphale the bed, and Aziraphale suggests that there would be room for two. Contains slinky Crowley, which there should just be more of in the world.

30. His Banner Over Me by pineapplecrushface - Three of Aziraphale's excellent ideas, and how Crowley (very casually) obliges him, as a friend does. (explicit, 5475 words)

Reccer’s note: Handjobs. Just...truly excellent mutual handjobs. \

+6

And finally, because this is my blog and I can, here is a list of my own stories for after you finish all the recs above:

1. The Seduction Malfunction - “Disguise yourself,” Hastur said. “Pretend you’re a priest, or better yet, an altar boy. Their lot can’t resist an altar boy.”  

Crowley held in a hysterical bubble of laughter as he imagined Aziraphale’s horrified face at being confronted with Crowley disguised as a lascivious altar boy. He’d feed him soup and give him a good talking to before sending him on his way.

Crowley gets orders to seduce Aziraphale to the dark side. It goes about as well as you might expect. (teen, 5,441 words)

2. Transference - There was always a low level hum of attraction and lust in the air when Crowley was around. In fact, Aziraphale couldn’t recall a single time, after their first meeting on the wall, when he hadn’t watched Crowley dazzle and transfix every poor human that they encountered. He’d even seen Eve give him the eye when he was in his human form, back in the day, and she’d been with child at the time.   

Aziraphale couldn’t blame them for falling victim to Crowley’s considerable wiles. He was a demon, after all. Tempting was in the job description. Plus, he’d clearly designed his human form to be utterly irresistible to all humans, from his eye-catching hair down to his stylish clothing. It was overkill, if you asked Aziraphale. But then, he supposed, overkill wasn’t really a thing with demons.

Aziraphale would win a gold medal in Mental Gymnastics. (mature, 4,282 words)

3. Step in the Bright Lights - The angel was holding court on the walking path surrounded by a passel of small children and their bored parents. He wore an absolutely ridiculous magician’s costume, complete with a top hat, cape, black wand, and a painted on mustache above his upper lip that had Crowley recoiling in horror. On a table in front of Aziraphale was a sign that proclaimed: THE AMAZING MISTER FELL AND HIS REMARKABLE FEATS OF PRESTIDIGITATION.  

He almost turned right around, but then Aziraphale spotted him and waved enthusiastically, stopping in the middle of a bit involving some handkerchiefs coming out of his sleeve to greet him. 

“Oh, look, children! It’s the Amazing Mr. Fell’s very special assistant, Signor Crowley!”

Aziraphale picks up some new hobbies. Crowley has no chill. (teen, 3,311 words)

4. Something To Talk About - He had the sudden and almost overwhelming desire to reach out and take Crowley’s hand. An absurd notion, of course. In 6000 years, Crowley had never shown any inclination towards physical affection for Aziraphale, despite their shared feelings. Aziraphale had long ago accepted that any gentle touch from him would have Crowley stepping hastily away and otherwise ignoring Aziraphale’s attempts. Or at least he had accepted it, until their delicate status quo had been disrupted.

Aziraphale jumps to some very inaccurate conclusions. (explicit, 3,664 words)

5. To Rest My Weary Soul - “Are you saying I feel like this because of my time in Hell? I thought you meant moral consequences.” 

“Since when do I give a toss about moral consequences, angel? No, you’ve got a Hell hangover. Must have hit once the adrenaline wore off,” Crowley answered.

“Hell hangover?” Aziraphale repeated incredulously.

Aziraphale's trip down to Hell leaves him worse for wear. (teen, 3,945 words)

Bonus: Podfic by FayJay

6. Taking the Long Way - Crawley nodded down at the sweaty humans undulating in a frightfully uncomfortable-looking position below them. “Mating,” he clarified. “One of God’s better ideas, if you ask me. Looks like it could be fun.”

“Does it?” Aziraphale asked doubtfully. “It’s all a bit sticky for my tastes. I think She had the right of it with plants. Pollination seems much more sensible.”

It takes Aziraphale 6000 years to catch up. (explicit, 6,919 words)

[t-citurnity-moved]

HEY TALK ABOUT YOUR LOVES

Ohohohoho.

My thoughts are more or less about the boys, BUT I feel like I also need to provide context because this series has been such a huge part of my life.

So, therefore, let's start at the beginning.

GOD THIS GOT SO LONG AND I AM SO SORRY BUT I HAVE A LOT OF THOTS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I have been part of the fanbase (not gonna say fandom, because that implies I'm active at all in the d//m//c "community" when I absolutely am not) since before 2010. That's 10+ years of enjoyment in this series. 10+ years I've been holding onto my feelings because I wasn't sure if it was right to love fictional characters. I still wrote and roleplayed with other people who were also in the fanbase, because... well, writing OC / Canon at the time was the closest anyone could get to saying "I want to date this character and not be judged." (But we all know that even then, if the OC wasn't written a specific way then they'd be considered a sue / stu; don't even get me started there.)

I fell in love with Dante first. He was the main character up until Nero starred in D//M//C4! So why wouldn't I love him? The first piece of media in which I really broke into the series was the anime and that's only because I really loved anime at the time (now not so much, mostly because I don't have attention span, etc). And boy... ohoho boy. I loved him even more. I think it's partly because that was my first real look into the series that I love D//M//C2 so much, because I'm more inclined toward the ""edgy"" side of Dante; wacky wahoo pizza man is cool and all, but I also love retrospective Dante who's a bit serious. Doesn't mean he's not the same Dante, because he absolutely is. But I hate how the fanbase portrays him sometimes. (The same fanbase that hates D//M//C2 and probably hates the reboot too, BUT I'LL TOUCH UPON THAT IN A MOMENT.)

The fact that Dante can be a serious person when he needs to be (or even if he's like... killed his brother several times and is therefore entering into a depressive state because who tf wouldn't) seems lost on a lot of people and it makes me sad. Because when I first really started branching into the fandom, I was (and still am) the same way... I just feel like 2Dante and Anime Dante are just... more relatable? So I lean toward them more than anything because I can understand them more? Because I too have depression and struggle with it? (By no means am I saying that 4/5 Dante don't have depression, I just think at that point he deals with it differently. I have a lot of headcanon there and that in and of itself is a whole ass different discussion. I also think discovering that Nero is Vergil's son / his nephew also helps him handle his depression as well, because "wow... at least I still have some part of Vergil left, even if it is only his kid" plays a bit role in how Dante recovers, BUT THAT'S JUST WHAT I THINK.)

I even think 3Dante has some level of depression going on, even thouh that's the start of the series and it doesn't really start going downhill until after those events. I mean, losing his mother at a young age and also thinking he lost Vergil until, SURPRISE SURPRISE, Vergil invites him to a "bash" which is really just some ploy to gain power? I just think at that point, it's manageable for him; he doesn't struggle with it nearly as much as he does in 2 + Anime.  That being said, the fact that he's so """wacky wahoo""" also leads me to conclusion that, even if it is "manageable," he does still struggle at times and I feel probably overwhelms him at times, so he tries to manage BY being upbeat about things. Which, anyone who has depression knows, is so fucking difficult to do. The fact that Dante can keep going despite all this shit going on in his life makes ME feel like I can keep going.

AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON VERGIL AND HIS PROBLEMS. Dude just wanted to be protected and loved.

Actually, LET ME get started on that. Because I have a lot of thots.

Vergil grew up believing their mother chose Dante over him. That she didn't try to save him. That Dante was more important to her than he was. He grew up with this inferiority complex because he didn't know WHY their mother never came to save him. He also grew up thinking he wasn't strong enough to save HER. That's why he actively sought out power, while believing humans were "weak." That's why he manifested this hatred for being half-human. Because he couldn't save his family and, for a long time, he was led to believe his mother didn't care for him nearly as much as she cared for Dante (IE. "saving" Dante, but not Vergil).

Vergil's thirst for power is just misdirected feelings toward his family. He should've been mad at demons for attacking them in the first place, but because he grew up believing what he did, it became hatred toward humans instead. That's why he hated Dante, too. In reality, I don't think he really "hates" Dante, just feels severely inferior (which he veils by """having""" a superiority complex instead of the opposite, which he actually has). I think he just had a lot of conflicted emotions that he was never able to work through. Which is why I love the idea that he and Dante, post-D//M//C5 could reconcile at some point. Because neither of them really hated each other, they just had conflicting viewpoints due to one event that go thrown out of proportion somewhere along the way. Vergil just wanted what Dante had, which he perceived as the love of their mother, because she "chose" to save Dante instead of him. In reality, she tried to go after Vergil too, but simply didn't survive. Vergil was entirely unaware of this, so obviously he'd be upset. It's the crux of all his problems.

Vergil HIMSELF even theorises what would happen if they switched places that day! He wonders what would happen if he and Dante's lives were swapped! (Which, TBH, would be a pretty neat AU, heheheheh.) Legit! "If our positions were switched... would I have your life? And you mine?" DUDE WANTED TO KNOW!!! He wanted to know what it was like to BE Dante, to be LOVED, to be PROTECTED by the ONE PERSON they had in their lives at the time! They only had their mother, so OF COURSE Vergil would be upset due to the circumstances! HE JUST WANTED TO BE PROTECTED AND LOVED.

3Vergil doesn't show much of this side of him, because he's just angry and going through a lot and he JUST wanted to be powerful enough that no one could hurt him any more. He would NEVER say this, but dude....... You cannot convince me this dude just wanted to be powerful to keep himself safe. To feel like he finally would've had enough power to protect the people he loves AND himself. He just didn't want to be hurt again. This is, by NO MEANS, an excuse for his actions. It's an explanation. His actions shouldn't be excused because of his ~ f e e l i n g s ~, but I firmly believe that post-D//M//C5, he could redeem himself for these actions. For everything he's done, he can realise it's wrong. He can grow to be a better person. He can reconcile with Dante and even be a good father to Nero. He can be better and I want to believe that he WOULD be better. After everything V went through, discovering that he doesn't really want to be the person he used to, Vergil can change and be better.

OOFIES. This has gone on long, BUT I STILL HAVE THOUGHTS ABOUT THE REBOOT BOYS THAT I STRUGGLE TO PUT INTO WORDS, SO BEAR WITH ME IF THIS SEEMS STUPID OR GARBLED.

Context for the reboot: It's basically a remake of the series that got poor reception because people struggle to accept change. :) I will not debate this and anyone who wants to come at me can eat my socks.

Dante 2.0, like original Dante, HAS PROBLEMS. He's an edgy punk bitch who has problems and he's so ugly I love him.

This dude went his entire life struggling with his identity as someone "human." At one point, he was so convinced he didn't have a heart that he ripped open his own chest to see if he did. Yeah. Dude has issues. But it's ok, because in game, he legitimately sets aside his own issues with people to save humanity. Dude's got such BDE.

People hate him, but I feel like they fail to realise what the hell he's been through. He's been through just as much shit as original Dante. Same goes for Vergil 2.0. These boys have been through SO MUCH, but people don't see that because "Nooo!! You can't just remake the series!!!" Meanwhile I'm like "hehe handsome nephilim boys go brrr."

I literally cannot begin to explain the amount of hate people have for the reboot and it makes me sad, because... like.... y'all.... don't realise... these dudes... went through so much shit..... and yeah... I get it... remake bad, original good, but dude.... my dude.... my bro.... you do not have to hate it that much.... calm down, it's just a video game....

My dude Dante grew up in the system because the foster homes and shit he got placed in were run by demons!!! So he'd lash out at them!!! He was violent because demons suck!! They killed his mom and enslaved his dad!!! Imagine!!! Being surprised by that!!! When you know what he went through!!! Damn, couldn't be me!!!

Vergil went through some shit too!!! Like!!! Yeah, he was adopted into a rich family and lived a pretty cushy life, but fact of the matter is!!! Their parents died and they had their memories WIPED when they were kids!!! Imagine!!! The distraught!!! When he (since he found out who he was long before Dante did) realised what had happened!!! When he remembered!! When he discovered he wasn't human!! My dude founded a whole ass group of demon hunting hactivists because he knew demons sucked and wanted to make the world a better place. It wasn't until after Mundus (big stinky demon man) died that he started realising how frail humans could be and decided to be an asshole about it.

I'm so sad that there will never be any more about the reboot, because fans decided to be assholes about it. I'm so sad that we'll never learn more about what happened to those boys. I'm so sad that we'll never be able to see whether they reconcile or even have the opportunity to.

Alas, I have to rely on heavy headcanon and personal re-write of the story to fix canon instead. :<

[thenerdintheattic]

Byron and the rock star

Fandom : Doctor Who (new!who and eda)

Characters : Eight, Twelve, Fitz and Bill

Pairing : Eight/Fitz

Warning : none that I’m aware of tbh

Words :5 253

Note : so a couple of days ago I started obsessing with Eight and Twelve starting a band together because why not? Due to severe boredom at work, I’ve had a lot of time to write, so there it is : the Doctor kicking time regulations in the nuts to start a band with himself.  I’m not really sure about characterisation. I think Bill is okay, but I haven’t written about Eight in a long time and don’t think I ever wrote about Twelve.  Also, English is not my mother tongue, so please feel free to let me know if you see any grammar/spelling/vocab mistakes, I’m always in for improving :)

  “Doctor, hmm … this doesn’t look like 21st century London.”       The Doctor went out of the TARDIS, sniffed the air and took a look around.     “Ah. Yes. I see. It’s because it’s not London. We’re in Bristol.”                 “Bristol?”   Fitz Kreiner turned around to sweep with his eyes the place they had arrived to. The TARDIS had landed in some sort of peculiar circus. It was the centre of a massive roundabout and one could cross the street circling it by using four tunnels going in four different directions. In front of Fitz a double-decker had been painted in green and was now used as a burrito restaurant. All around, people were skating and playing football, or just crossing from one tunnel to another while a group of young people was tagging a wall. Actually, the walls surrounding the place were covered in graffiti, an explosion of colours and shapes, the heart of the artistic centre of Bristol.     “We may not be in London, but we’re definitely in the 21st century.” The Doctor announced rather proud with himself. Fitz thought that it was not that far away from where and when they had planned to go after all. “This is the St James Barton Roundabout. Also known as the Bear Pit.”             “The Bear Pit? Odd name”         The Doctor looked up and Fitz followed his gaze. Right behind them was a massive statue of a black and white bear. Fitz took a step back to see it better. He could not really realise how big it was but he felt slightly uncomfortable looking at it. He turned around and started to walk towards the entrance of the nearest tunnels. He stopped when the Doctor called him but did not come back to him.     “I’m going to explore!” he glowed at him. “Are you coming?”                 “Start without me, I’ve got to check something in the TARDIS. And be careful!”             He shrugged and left him. The Doctor always had something to check with the TARDIS. Fitz loved his Doctor and he knew that his friend felt the same. But their relationship was far from being normal. How could it be when the two of them were travelling in time and space in a police-box shaped time machine? But Fitz loved him anyway, despite his strangeness, his flaws and fragility. He loved him because he was the sweetest man he had ever encountered and also, because the Doctor needed him, he needed Fitz to take care of him as much as Fitz needed the Doctor. And when the Doctor was too alien or Fitz was too human, Fitz would remember that it did not matter because he was worth any trouble.                     He exited the tunnel and went up a flight of stairs. He arrived in a busy street, probably the city centre. He followed the crowd, marvelling at the fashion sense of the people around him. When he got tired of so much promiscuity, he abandoned the crowd and turned right. He ended up in another busy street with even more shops. But it did not matter. He went inside one shop and tried on a couple of hats. He was admiring himself in a mirror and wondering if the Doctor would like it when he noticed her reflection. His curiosity picked, he turned around. She was behind him, looking at some clothes. Taking advantage of the fact that she had not noticed him yet, he detailed her. She was tall and wearing jeans with a yellow jacket that made her dark skin look even more beautiful. As she was focusing on another piece of clothing, she smiled. That’s when he decided to come and talk to her.               “Hi there, gorgeous.” He smiled and winked when she turned towards him. She stared at him in complete bewilderment before starting to laugh.                  “Are you talking to me?” she asked with no trace of aggressiveness.                   “I don’t see anyone else as remarkable as you.”              She looked around, clearly amused.      “Sorry mate. I’m not really interested.” She took a step closer to him, as if she was going to tell him a secret. “I’m not into guys.”     Fitz smiled broadly, almost relieved. Flirting was a second nature for him and checking out a pretty girl or a handsome guy would always be his first instinct. But he also knew that he would not act upon it. Not anymore. He usually did not get much anyway out of his pitiful attempt at seducing people, but even if it did work, he would simply pay the lady or the man a drink and disappear. There was only one person in Fitz’s heart and bed.                               “That’s totally cool. I wasn’t really interested in you either.”      She frowned and crossed her arms with a predatory smile.     “I know that I just blew you off but that’s not very nice to hear all the same.”                 He raised his hands apologetically.         “Sorry. Didn’t mean to offend you. I do find you hot, but there’s already someone.”                   She raised an eyebrow.               “I see… And how does she feel knowing that you flirt with other girls?”             “He doesn’t notice most of the time. And when he does, well, he doesn’t mind.”         The second eyebrow rose. He shook his head and they both smiled at each other. Fitz liked that girl, there was nothing sexual there, but he had the feeling that they could become very good friends.   “I’m Fitz, by the way.”                 “Bill.”     They fell silent, as if everything had been said. As Fitz was still staring at her, Bill looked away. The guy seemed dorky but she liked him. She could tell he was a bit of a loser but instead of pitying him, she felt close to him. She, too, was usually struggling to flirt with girls and she kind of recognized herself a bit in him.             “I know we’ve just met and I’m totally not flirting, but do you want to grab a drink or something?”   Bill pondered that for a minute before nodding.             “Sure. But I’m supposed to meet a friend of mine for a coffee, you should definitely join us, I’m sure you’ll like him.”                 Fitz agreed. He thought about going to get the Doctor but knew that he would be able to find him anyway.  “Alright.”   He joined Bill and they went out of the shop before starting to walk towards a coffee shop nearby. The girl looked inside, searching for someone and when she did not see them, went to order a coffee with Fitz. Seeing that there was nothing stronger than caffeine in there, he felt slightly disappointed – he could have done with a brandy, or even just a beer.                   “My friend isn’t here yet but he’ll be here soon, he went to buy new strings for his guitar.” Bill explained.       “I play guitar too.”         They took their drinks, a latte for Bill and a dark coffee for Fitz, and found a table near to the entrance. They waited barely five minutes until Bill waved to a man entering the coffee shop. Fitz had expected him to be around the same age as his friend but he was older, around 60 and dressed in the most peculiar way : a black attire with a white shirt that looked out of this time. And his hair looked even crazier than Bill’s. There was also something oddly familiar about him            “Doctor!”   Fitz frowned. Doctor? Surely another kind of doctor. Unless…                 The man joined them, a huge smile eating his face. He did not seem to have noticed Fitz, his whole attention being focused on Bill.   “I found them, Bill!”       “Yeah, that’s great but we have company. Please behave.”     His eyebrows went as crazy as his hair as he turned and discovered Fitz. He stared at him for some long seconds in a way that made Fitz feel both uncomfortable and … at home. Fitz probed the man’s eyes. They looked very old, older than the man’s appearance suggested. They were also filled with so much sadness, sadness that was not there when he had entered the coffee shop, Fitz was certain of it.     “Hello Fitz.” He said with a tenderness that surprised Bill.         He sat next to her, ignoring (or not seeing, more likely) her puzzled expression.           “I wasn’t expecting to see you here.”                   “How do you know me?” Fitz asked. He was not sure to want to hear the answer to that.   “Don’t you know?”       Of course he knew. The Doctor did tell him about regeneration and even if he had not, Fitz would have been able to recognize him anyway. But he was not going to let his guard down so easily.       “It’s me. The Doctor.” The man grinned.             “Prove it.” His voice was harsher than he had intended to be. The smile on the Doctor’s face faded.   “Fitz, Fitz, Fitz. You were born in 1936. Your mum was staying in an elderly home, where I first met you, with Sam Jones. Your dad was German and you were bullied at school because of it. You drink a bit too much, I think I told you that before. You always oversleep in the morning and when you do get out of bed, you need your cup of coffee before doing anything. You did a lot for me, Fitz Kreiner.”   “I still am, Doc!”               The Doctor grimaced.                   “Please don’t call me that. I never liked it.”       Fitz ignored him and turned his attention towards Bill.                 “So, you’re travelling with him?”             She nodded with a big smile on her face.           “Yeah. You did too?”     “Yes. He was a different man by then, though. Right Doc?”       The Doctor crossed his arms.     “I regenerated several times since then, yes.”                 “Wait! What do you mean ‘regenerated’?” Bill interrupted.     “When he’s about to die, he changes his body. His old self dies, in a way, but the Doctor survives. He becomes a new man.”     “That’s typically you! Going around and changing faces. You know what? That’s weird. You’re weird.”   “That’s an understatement.” Fitz joined in.       The two companions shared a look and smiled at each other. They understood one another.                 “Anyway.” The Doctor rolled his eyes, breaking the moment. “Your Doctor must be around somewhere.”   “Probably looking for me. Unless he’s still checking the TARDIS.”           “This one does that too.” Bill laughed. “Always has something to check there. I’m sure he doesn’t even know what he’s doing most of the time. It’s kind of sad, really.”                 “If you had lived as long as me and seen so many people go away, you too would hold on to the thing that has been with you through the darkest of times.”           Those words woke a deep, primal fear in Fitz’s heart. Questions that could never be answered formed inside his brain. What had happened to him? Why had he stopped travelling in the TARDIS? Had the Doctor ever remembered what Fitz had tried so hard to protect him from?                   Bill, on the other hand, rolled her eyes.               “He likes to play all grumpy and dramatic, but inside he’s a teddy bear.”             “A teddy bear?”             “I should find my Doctor.” Fitz interrupted.       The Doctor agreed and the three of them left the coffee shop. They walked for a while in silence until the Doctor stopped.               “We should leave you here.” He said. “I wouldn’t want to meet myself.”           Fitz nodded and as he was about to say goodbye to Bill, a call behind them froze the three new friends.   “Fitz! There you are!”                   The three of them exchanged a look and slowly turned around to see Fitz’s Doctor running towards them.   “The TARDIS picked up temporal dis…” he stopped mid-sentence when he noticed the strangers. “Oh. Hi. Care to introduce your new friends, Fitz?”           He exchanged a look with the older Doctor who grimaced.       “Dreadful fashion sense!” he groaned.               “Like you have any notion of fashion sense!” Bill exclaimed.     “Mind you, I’ve been worse than that.”             The younger Doctor frowned and looked for Fitz’s gaze but he seemed to be avoiding him.     “Who are you?” he asked the strangers.             Bill walked forward with a smile.             “I’m Bill Potts. Nice to meet you.”                         “And I’m the Doctor. Doctor Disco.”       “You are not calling yourself Doctor Disco!” Bill shook her head. She could forgive her friend’s eccentricities but this was beyond her strength.       The younger Doctor looked at them, half bewildered half worried. His Time Lord instinct was telling him to go away, quick, and he decided to listen to it. Some mysteries were better left unsolved.   “Come on Fitz. Let’s go.”             He exchanged a look with Bill and after muttering a ‘goodbye’, followed his Doctor. They had not gone five metres that the older Doctor came after them, followed by his companion.   “Doctor! Wait! I take that you still have your violin.”     The Doctor slowly turned around, frowning. He gave a quizzical look to Fitz, who simply shrugged and stepped backwards, just like Bill did. The two Doctor were now facing each other. One was smiling, eager to witness the look of recognition that would soon shake his other self. The other one was still frowning. The man in front of him seemed to know him and yet, he had no recollection of having seen him before. Had he forgotten him? That would not even be surprising and he started to wonder how many companions he had forgotten over the years. Unless he did not know the man at all and Fitz had been talking too much. No, he trusted Fitz with his life. There was also this look on the other man’s face. A look that he knew very well. And those eyes … Where had he seen the light in those eyes before?               “Who are you?” he asked knowing that he would not like the answer.               “Come on Doctor, you know who I am.”             Yes. I also know where I’ve seen this expression before : in a mirror.     “Good grief! Do I regenerate into you?”             The older Doctor, far from being offended, laughed.   “Not directly, I’m afraid.”           The younger Doctor raised an eyebrow but did not answer. He detailed his future self with attention, aware that he probably would not keep any recollection of this extraordinary meeting. Beyond the smile and the idiotic expression, he perceived there a darker man than he was himself. He was conscious that events, some of which he remembered, so of which he didn’t, had already started to eat away his innocence and light heart. He was not the same man he had been after his regeneration, pains and sorrows had already begun to change him. He wondered with some kind of horror if what had happened to him was the reason why his future self was so sombre.     “So how about this violin?” the older Doctor repeated.               “Why do you care so much about that?”             “I’m a musician myself, and with you playing the violin and Fitz here, I thought we could start a band!”   Not only had he gone dark but he was also completely mad. The younger Doctor would have seriously worried for his fate if his future self had not been showing so much enthusiasm and excitement. One must never cross one’s own time line, or so the first law of time said. Or whichever law it was. And there he was, about to give a massive kick to time travel regulation to start a band with one of his following regeneration. The younger Doctor smiled from ear to ear.   Let’s live a little.               “A band? Are you serious?” Fitz demanded.     “You should be flattered. I play the guitar because of you.”       Fitz lowered his head to hide his blushing and if the two Doctors were getting too hyped to notice, it was not the case of Bill. As the Time Lords decided to go and fetch the Doctor’s violin and Fitz’s guitar in the TARDIS before going to the Bristol University, she slowed down a bit, to stay behind with Fitz.         “So.” She started. “Are you and the Doctor …”                 “Me and the Doctor what?” he asked defensively.       “He’s that special person, right?”           He hesitated before taking a cigarette out and lighted it.             “How did you guess?”                 Bill shrugged and looked at the two Doctors walking in front of them.                 “I’ve seen how you look at him. I’ve had crushes before too, you know.”         “It’s more than a crush.”             She smiled sadly. Nardole had mentioned the Doctor’s wife, River Song, but she had never imagined him with anyone and knowing that at some point in his past, he had had someone like Fitz Kreiner loving him and caring for him made her happy.     “You two!” the older Doctor shouted at them without turning back. “Don’t linger on. If you get lost, kidnapped or put yourself into mortal danger again, we won’t come and get you.”               Bill and Fitz glanced at each other and ran to join their friends.

  The Doctor was a university teacher. Fitz had almost burst out of laughter when Bill had announced it as they were getting inside his office. He was having a very hard time imagining his friend preparing and giving a lecture without getting distracted and losing his train of thoughts. His Doctor, though, seemed impressed and was looking curiously on the desk of his future regeneration.   “Susan!” he exclaimed when he saw her portrait. “And who’s that?”                   The older Doctor looked at the picture of River Song with heartache.                   “Spoiler.”   Fitz’s Doctor shrugged and walked away. He took his violin out of his case while the other Doctor was plugging his electric guitar. Bill looked at them with interest. Her Doctor could prove to be annoying with his instrument sometimes but she was very curious to see what their little band would be.   “The Doc and I already have a couple of songs rehearsed.” Fitz said.     “I know. I remember them.”     “I’m not sure that they’re fit for electric guitar, though.” The younger Doctor intervened. “They’re more romantic than rock.”       “Rock can be romantic.”             The older Doctor started to play a melancholic, sad tune, that Bill had heard him play a couple of time before.               “That’s not romantic, that’s barbarian.”               “And you’re too sentimental!”                 “I think we can find a compromise, right Doctor?” Fitz had put himself between the two of them. “You two have two different styles, but I’m sure we can make this work.”  The two Time Lords agreed reluctantly and Fitz and his Doctor started to play. Bill listened as her Doctor joined in and couldn’t help a smile. She observed them for several hours, playing and arguing, but she got bored after a while and decided to go out.                When she came back, three hours later, they were still playing. She listened to the soft music of the younger Doctor’s violin as the other two were playing in the background. When they saw her, the three men stopped, silently deciding to take a break.       “How did it go?” she asked with a wide smile.                 Fitz shook his head.       “Quite well when they stopped bickering.”       The two doctors shared a look and decided not to reply to that. Fitz rolled his eyes but beneath his mask of annoyance, she knew he had had a great time : the flame in his eyes was not fooling anyone.   As he and the older Doctor were comparing their guitars, Bill came closer to Fitz’s Doctor. She had not had the occasion to speak to him yet and was very curious to know more about him. He was looking out of the window and turned around when she sat in the armchair that was sitting there.   “Hi.” She said.                   He replied with a charming smile that made her roll her eyes. Fitz was flirty in a not so subtle way but his Doctor was a charmer too, not with cheap catch phrases – somehow she felt it would have been wrong -  but in a more romantic way that was not without reminding her about Lord Byron. She realized that love was a very important part of both their lives. Looking for it, growing it, celebrating it and she thought that the two of them could not be better paired. Her own Doctor on the other hand was completely different. She knew he had been married and yet, imagining him in love with someone seemed very peculiar to her. It made her feel sad.           “Miss Potts, right?”       “Yeah, people usually call me Bill, though.”       “Right, Bill. How did you end up with him? With me?”                 She looked at her Doctor. He was now chatting with Fitz.           “He’s my tutor.” She paused. “He’s amazing, he’s like the best person I know. But don’t tell him that, he’d be insufferable.”                     The Doctor mimicked locking his mouth.             “Wait, but if I told you, he’ll remember it!”       He shook his head with a smile.               “I wouldn’t worry about that. I probably won’t retain any memory of this…”   “How come?”                   He shrugged, almost in a fatalistic way.                “That tends to happen. A lot.”                 Bill pouted but chose not to say anything. She focused her attention on her Doctor and Fitz again, observing them interact with each other. The Doctor was explaining something to him, he was wearing his professor expression, the one he took when he was teaching her something. She smiled fondly. Bill loved the old man. She had never known her dad and had lacked a paternal figure in her life, until the Doctor had arrived. She turned towards the other Doctor again.     “Can I ask you a question?”       “You just did.”                 She ignored that and took it as a ‘yes’. Even if he was pretending to be annoyed, the Doctor never refused a question. She was convinced that this was true whatever in incarnation. He had to retain some core personality traits and missing an occasion to share his knowledge was definitely never an option.   “Why us?”         “You’ll have to be more precise.”           She sighed.       “Ok, stop me if I’m wrong. You have a tendency to travel with humans. Fitz, me. And I’m sure there’s been plenty more.”                   He nodded.       “So why us? Why humans? Why not Martians or whatever?”                   The Doctor turned towards the window and for a moment, she thought he was not going to answer.   “I have travelled with other species but I guess you’re right, most of my companions were humans. To me, you’re the most fascinating species.” Bill raised an eyebrow but he did not let her comment on that. “You’re such a complex species, all physically so similar.”                 “You can’t possibly look at Fitz and me and tell us we look the same.” She interrupted.             “On the outside, maybe not. But at the core, on a physiological level, you’re the same. Same species.”   “Ok, we’re all the same inside.” She did not sound convinced. “If you want. But still. I’m female, Fitz is a guy. Even inside we’re different.”               He shrugged.     “It’s only gender.”         “Only? You’re a guy, you were born a guy. Surely you’re different from female Time Lords. How do you even call them?”                   “I’m a man now. Next time I might be a woman”           She frowned.                   “Don’t tell me Time Lords can also change sex.”             “Why not?”       Bill opened her eyes wide.         “That’s … weird. But kinda cool. Have you ever been a woman?”           He shook his head.         “Not that I remember.”               Bill let this information find its way towards the ‘need to have a talk with the Doctor’ part of her brain.   “Ok.” She finally said. “Let’s say that us, humans are very similar, I’m not saying that I agree but you know… Is it the only reason why you travel with us? If it is, I’ll be a tad disappointed, I must tell you.”   “I didn’t say similar, I said physically similar. That’s the paradox of it. You look the same but you’re all so different at the same time. All of you, when you first step in the TARDIS, are a complete mystery to me, no matter how many humans I’ve travelled with before. Discovering you is as exciting as discovering a new planet.”           Bill grinned.       “You’re pulling my leg.”               The Doctor shook his head and looked at Fitz.                 “I’m not.”           Bill’s smile faded. She followed his gaze and put her hand on his arm.                 “He’s different to you, though.”             “Something happened to me.” He started hesitantly. “I forgot who I was. I became a mystery to myself. Fitz was my constant, I knew him better than myself and he knew me more than himself probably.”   “I’m sorry.”       He shrugged and they both fell silent.

  Fitz observed Bill and his Doctor chatting. He wondered what they were talking about and resisted the urge to join them. The Doctor sitting next to him drew his attention away.                 “Hey Doc.” He smirked at the grimace that followed.                   “Hey Fitzgerald.”             Fitz’s smirk turned into an expression of horror. The Doctor laughed and Fitz decided to imitate him when he stopped feeling like he had been hit in the stomach.         “Ok, point made.”         “It’s nice seeing you again, Fitz.”             Fitz sighed. He had a lot of questions burning his lips but he knew that the Doctor would not answer any of them, which was making the whole situation very frustrating. What was the point in having a future version of his Doctor if he couldn’t ask a couple of question? His curiosity, though, always got the best of him and he gave in.         “What happens to me, Doctor?”             The Doctor did not reply at once. Probably he had forgotten how and when they had parted, Fitz thought bitterly. No, that was unfair, he decided. He could not blame the Doctor for forgetting. It was not his fault if he was all messed up but it was Fitz’s responsibility to make sure he was ok. The only good thing he would ever do.               “You know I can’t tell you that.”             “Come on, you’re blatantly ignoring your laws of time to start a band with yourself and you can’t even give me a clue about my future?”           The Doctor smiled but shook his head.                 “There’s one thing I can tell you. The best is yet to come, Fitz. Don’t lose hope.”           “Is it with you?”               “I can’t answer.”             “It has to be though. My best can only be with you.” Now there was desperation in Fitz’s voice that broke the Doctor’s hearts. “Without you, I’m worth nothing. I’m a loser.”   “It’s not my role to show you how wrong you are, it’s his. But I can promise you he will.”           The Doctor’s expression that had softened became hard again.             “And now stop whining. No one ever accomplished anything by whining.”       “Sorry.”   “Hey. Bill’s got a great idea.”     The younger Doctor’s intervention prevented Fitz from being rebuffed again by the older Doctor. They both got up.                   “That wasn’t MY idea, Doctor.” Bill protested, in vain as the Doctor ignored her.             “Bill can be our singer.”               The older Doctor raised a sceptic eyebrow.       “I’m very flattered guys, really. But I can’t sing.”             “This one can’t play the guitar.” The Doctor gestured towards his future self. “That’s not a problem.”   “Oi! No need to be rude.” The older one protested.     “I’m not rude. But one needs to be honest with oneself.”         Before the two Time Lords could start bickering like an old couple again, Fitz stood between them.   “The lyrics for my songs are in the TARDIS and we’re not going to get them, that’s one problem solved. As for you two, stop depreciating yourselves. You’re both great, admit it and move on. Besides, self-pity is usually my stuff, I won’t accept competition.”     The Doctors frowned, agreed to apologise to each other and the incident was forgotten.   “Anyway, I think we should go, Doctor.” Fitz started. His Doctor was about to agree but Bill cut him.   “Oh wait. I’d like to listen to you. Do you think I could have a private concert?”               Fitz grinned charmingly.               “Of course!”     He grabbed his guitar and the two Time Lords imitated him after having shared a look. Bill made herself comfortable in the Doctor’s armchair as the three musicians were conversing in a low voice. Finally, they seemed to agree and took position – Fitz in the middle, slightly in the back and the two Doctors on his flanks. One silent minute passed and the violin started. The music was slow and melancholic, a tune that seemed to suit this particular incarnation of the Time Lord. Then, Fitz’s guitar joined in and they played together a song that they had played together a hundred times. It should have clashed when the electric guitar joined in but it didn’t. The Doctor reproduced their soft tune and Bill thought they were doing rather well. When the first song finished, she clapped enthusiastically. They played two more songs, more rock, livelier, where the older Doctor lead the other two. Fitz was obviously having a lot of fun and even the younger Doctor was using his instrument perfectly, in a range that was not so familiar to him. If she had to be perfectly honest, Bill would not have thought that the violin and the electric guitar would be well matched, a reflection of their owners’ characters. But they did rather brilliantly and as she was watching Byron and the rock star getting on so well, her heart lifted a little. They finished their improvised concert with Fitz original song. It was serene and romantic, like a ballad and Fitz’s voice, slightly out of tune, brought shivers down Bill’s spine. When they were finished, the three of them bowed in front of their small audience and she cheered.           “That was amazing!” she congratulated them.                 The Time Lords accepted her comment with modesty and a smile, but Fitz had to make a fuss of it. His Doctor stopped his fervour by putting a hand on his mouth.               “Thanks Bill, that’s very kind. But I’m afraid we should leave now. We’ve already stayed together too long.”                 “He’s right.” Her Doctor stepped in. “Besides, if Nardole finds out I started a band with myself, I’ll never hear the end of it.”             Bill agreed and they started to say goodbye. She hugged Fitz, making him promise to visit her if he was still around in 2018, as the two Doctors were shaking hands.               “It’s reassuring to know that my future is in good hands.”         The older Doctor smiled faintly. He knew what was ahead of his younger self and if the temptation to give him a peek was high, he resisted and kept his mouth shut. Instead, he turned towards Fitz.   “It was nice seeing you again, Fitz. Take care.”                 “You too, Doctor.”         Fitz was about to step back but the Doctor trapped him in a hug. The Time Lord did not want his old friend to see his face, and if Fitz saw nothing indeed, Bill did notice his wet eyes and promised herself to take good care of her Doctor.           “Goodbye, Bill.”               To her surprise, the younger Doctor kissed her on the cheek and after having taken their instruments, he and Fitz were gone.       She and her Doctor looked down from the window at them walking away. It was only long after that they had disappeared that they turned towards each other.           “Does it happen often that you run into yourself? It must be when you’re a time traveller.”   “Now and then.” He replied with a mysterious smile. “And always when it’s needed.”            

[spaceorphan18]

Finding Kurt Hummel: Movin’ Out

Masterpost

5x06: Movin’ Out (5x06)

Hey, it’s the Billy Joel tribute episode (I kind of forget that it’s a tribute episode).  It’s also the first time Klaine’s been together since episode 1 - so it had a ton of pressure on it to be, well, more than it is.  The episode makes a few strange choices, but I say it still works in the overarching theme of what they were trying to achieve.  

Welcome to New York Blaine and Sam

You know I have some nitpicks about this episode.

Nitpick #1: The directing.  Brad Falchuk directed this episode - and he usually isn’t making strange choices, but this one kind of cracks me up.  

Why is Kurt so shocked to see Blaine and Sam enter the loft? Especially when the previous scene sets up the fact that the two of them would be hanging out in New York for a while.  Are you really going to tell me Blaine didn’t text every five second of his journey to Kurt?  And what person in general doesn’t have their cell right next to them? And - idk, it’s not how I would have done it.  

It’s not just Kurt - Santana and Rachel both seem overly surprised by their guests -- and do you think Santana would have been all smiley if someone interrupted her in the shower?  The over-enthusiasm of this scene cracks me up.  

Okay then the whole Kurt hugs Sam first thing.  Which is entirely a blocking issue.  I thought about it -- why not just switch Darren and Chord? Because Rachel has to come into the scene and hug one of them, and height wise Blaine and Rachel match up and Kurt and Sam match up better than vise versa?  Idk - but the whole thing seems like a blocking issue more than any real issue within the narrative.  

If you watch carefully, Blaine does kiss Kurt on the cheek upon embrace, and Klaine holds each other longer and tighter than Kurt’s hug with Sam.  

SO - you’re totally nitpicking a two second moment.  Yup.  Because fandom ripped this episode to shreds, and I don’t really think it deserves it.  Pretty sure the general audience, or those binge watching it for the first time noticed or cared thew weird blocking issue of this scene.  

However - the scene change from the loft to the Artie scene is kinda cool, actually.  

Anyway.... 

So, let’s talk about the fact that while, presumably, Kurt’s going to class and working, he sends Blaine (and Sam) on a little tour of New York -- which includes a bathhouse where Tennessee Williams once frequented.  Lol. Did Kurt learn about this during one of his meetings with the Tennessee Williams playwrighting club? And you say Glee lacks continuity.  

So - Blaine talks about looking at other campuses like NYU, and Kurt’s all - nope. you’re coming to NYADA cause a) I’m pretty giddy at the thought of having my fiance go to the same school as me and b) I totally talked you up to Carmen Tibideaux and you’ll probably get in just so she can shut me up.  

So.  Not getting into the Blaine side of things -- Kurt’s pretty excited that Blaine is in NY, he’s super excited at the prospect of Blaine going to the same school as him, and isn’t sure why Blaine’s doubting himself because Kurt thinks he’s pretty awesome.  I mean this entire scene episode is Kurt recognizing that Blaine’s overly critical of himself, and wants to give him support that he is an awesome person and performer.  

While I do think it’s better for the both of them to be going to different schools (as we see in the later NYC arc), here’s nothing but optimism and joy about his future from Kurt.  

Nitpick #2 - The writing.  Kurt’s line: She’ll give you a spot on the spot.  OMG - what an awkward sentence.  This script needed, at least, one more final edit.  This episode was written by the same guy who wrote The First Time -- though that original script was terrible, but the editing of the episode was awesome.  So yeah - maybe in season 5 they were rushing through things and not taking the care they used to.  Makes sense.  

Kurt wants to make sure that Blaine’s fully prepared to go into his NYADA audition (and how much off screen prep happened because it seems like Kurt’s been pretty active once they’ve gotten back together in helping Blaine prepare for his future) and has Blaine do an impromptu performance.  He’s not only trying to help Blaine, but being supportive and excited for the world to see Blaine.  

Look, okay.  So, it does make me sad that we don’t get to see more of this throughout the show, especially in season 5 -- but it is here -- Klaine happy and supportive and loving of each other.  Believe me - I wanted more of this, and would have watched an entire show of happy moments, too (and I agree that one drawback of the NYC arc is that it’s lacking in many of these happier moments).  But they are here.  

So yeah - Blaine sings Piano Man -- and that’s essentially his NYADA audition -- because apparently, we need to spend more time with Sam flirting with Rachel and kicking off his modeling career.  

I don’t have a whole lot to say about the performance - other than they’re cute all dancing around the diner.  

So, interestingly, Kurt exclaims that Blaine will get into NYADA - and then all their dreams will come true.  Which -- is a little bit of a weird thing to say.  But, what I find interesting about it is that at the end of this season, there’s a conversation there - more noticeably in Rachel’s story (and I’ll argue they’re in Sam’s and Artie’s to a minor degree), but also in the Klaine story that dreams come true but they aren’t always what they’re cracked up to be.  So a lot of this episode feels like set up for things not being as fully perfect as they thought it’d be when they finally get (one of the) thing(s) they’ve been wanting since season 2 - to be together, living their dream, in NYC. 

Nitpick #3 - The acting.  So, Chris gets a lot of shit for his acting in this episode.  And mostly, I think it’s unwarrented.  Except this scene.  It’s just over played - as if Chris had forgotten how to make Kurt genuinely excited about something.  I’m not going to speculate as to why (it could be a huge number of things, but no I don’t think it has /anything/ to do with hating Darren) but yeah, it’s a little awkwardly over-the-top.  But you know what, that’s the only time in the episode where anything feels /off/.  Sorry dudes. 

Doctor Blaine

**sigh** This scene.  This poor, little scene that had the weight of a thousand things on it -- the rumors that Blaine wanted to be a doctor, people speculating about Chris’s acting, the fact that there’s no kiss in this episode, the frustration that Klaine hasn’t had full focus since Love Love Love The First Time Season 2, the awkward directing and slightly awkward writing.  You know what I’m gonna say about it? It’s Not. That. Bad.  Take off all that weight, and it’s a fine little scene that I don’t think deserves as much crap as it gets.  So here we go. 

We open with Kurt helping Blaine pick out his wardrobe for his audition - it’s been speculated before that Kurt helps him with this, so I don’t think this anything out of the norm, tbh.  And then Blaine gets weird - and Kurt notices.  

It’s a little strange that Kurt jumps straight into thinking Blaine might have cheated on him again (though I don’t think this is as serious a worry) the sex addiction joke is indeed a joke.  (Though can we talk about the fact that he went straight to sex addiction - how much sex do these two have?) But I do think regaining trust is still a little bit of an issue with Kurt.  No, they didn’t fully talk through their issues with the first break up.  (I mean, this baggage does carry through the season.)  Sometimes the pull of -- I wanna be with you again doesn’t fix things that went wrong in the first place.  

I will say, though, that throughout the first part of this season, Kurt does make an effort to support and communicate with Blaine - something that was missing in the beginning of season 4.  

Alright so Blaine talks about maybe doing something else with his life that isn’t about performance.  (Which as an aside I think is an OKAY thing to do.  If Blaine wanted to be a doctor, he could have been a doctor -- I’ll argue with y’all about it on the podcast.)  

But Kurt here is not trying to push Blaine into anything.  He’s reminding Blaine that they’ve both talked about being performers since forever.  And he knows Blaine well enough that he knows when Blaine is nervous or scared about something.  So what does he do?  He tells him how awesome he is.  

I mean really.  Besides being a little Full House-cheesy, it’s a nice little speech from Kurt to Blaine -- about how even if Blaine fails, Kurt will be right there with him, and they’ll support each other, and Kurt tells Blaine how amazing he is no matter what he does.  I mean, that’s pretty sweet, right?  

But SO - what about in Tested when....you know what, I’ll talk about that when we get to Tested.  But SO what about the second break-up....I’ll talk about that in Loser Like Me.  

Listen - right now, in this scene, I believe everything Kurt’s saying is sincere and from the heart - there is no reason to doubt that.  And what Kurt says to Blaine is that they’re in this together, and they’re certainly going to have various fuck-ups along the way still, but they love each other and that will always prevail.  Okay?

[Okay I couldn’t get a nice shot of the hug so this is after.]

Okay, so the lack of kissing in this scene.  **sigh** Okay.  A) there’s not a lack of physicality -- Kurt hold’s Blaine’s hand, they hug, the whole shoulder rub is slightly weird, and I would have blocked the scene a little differently to make it slightly more intimate, but I wouldn’t say this is bad B) narratively - the lack of kissing doesn’t seem out of place.  I wouldn’t even say this was like Dance With Somebody, which did feel like it needed a kiss to resolve the relationship issue. This isn’t an issue with their relationship - it’s an issue with Blaine’s insecurity about his future.  

And I mean look at how this scene is laid out - they’re prepping Blaine’s audition, stop to have a heart to heart, and then continue prepping Blaine’s audition.  That seems pretty normal to me.  Stopping in the middle to go have sex seems -- a little like fanfiction. 

Okay, so unpopular opinion time -- I didn’t need every Klaine story to be about sex - and sometimes I feel/felt like fandoms sole focus was on sex and physical attention.  Look, I’d be right there enjoying myself popcorn and all if they had a full episode of making out -- these boys are hot, yo.  But I do appreciate when we get story lines and stories about Kurt and Blaine dealing with their individual issues together (which we really didn’t get a whole lot of in the entire series).  

I get the frustration of the time, I do.  And I always want more everything - but I can see why this scene and episode are the way they are and I don’t hate it for it.  

Anyway -- they pick back up with the audition prepping and Kurt’s gonna have Santana do Blaine’s make-up.  Which leads to a minor lament from me.  This little beat is so hilarious - I wish that Chris and Darren had been able to do more funny Klaine scenes, because both boys are excellent with comedy, and there’s just not enough of it in the show.  

Just the Way You Are

Let’s take a second and think about the fact that Blaine bought a piano for the loft.  I mean what?!?  Also hilarious is Santana’s reaction -- and the fact that Kurt’s not having any of her shit -- that piano is staying.  

Also - Kurt is supportive of just not Blaine in this episode! He also tells Sam he’s concerned about this whole House of Bichette thing - and that he should be healthy even if he wants to be a model.  

Which of course leads to the theme of the episode -- being who you are, and what’s a perfect song for that? Well, Billy Joel’s Just The Way You Are - of course! 

I love how excited Kurt is when Blaine gets up to sing.  

How Kurt looks at Blaine while he’s singing.  

Their lines together: 

Blaine and Kurt: I said I love you Blaine: That's forever (Kurt: Forever) Blaine and Kurt: And this I promise from the heart Hmm, hmm, hmm

I mean - that speaks for itself, right? 

They are all so adorable on this song.  It’s one of my favorite minor group songs because they all sound so good on it. 

Look - I do wish there had been more than three Klaine scenes in this episode (I mean, that’s it for Kurt in this episode).  I wish Kurt and Blaine had gotten way more in terms of story throughout the show (no one but Rachel really had solid, full stories in the show).  I do think some criticisms are completely valid (looking at you second break up resolution).  But I also still enjoy the show, and even though I can nitpick all the tiny things, I can’t really change anything so I’m just going to sit back and enjoy the show just the way it is. 

See what I did there -- har har I’m so clever.  ;) <3 

[bmorley]

top 5 and bottom 5 kudos fic

rules: tag the person who tagged you, always post the rules, answer the questions, and add the date! i was tagged by three beautiful ladies - @clarkescrusade, @prosciuttoe and @kay-emm-gee; thank you so much, sweets ♥

What are your five most popular works? (in descending order)

1. Crown (wear my love like a) (bellamy/clarke, 13k+ wip, Feb 2015)

When Clarke agreed to enter a courtship with the Commander's second-in-command, she had no idea what was awaiting her but she figured it couldn't be that bad. But when the gifts started coming and the silly rules were laid, when some of the Grounders tried to sabotage her and she found herself on a different sort of a battlefield, the whole deal became a lot more complicated.

It’s an arranged marriage au thrown together with some enemies to friends to lovers trope and weird courtship thingies. Not at all surprised that this is the first fic on this list tbh. I’m also really proud of my Clarke&Murphy&Wells leadership trio? They’re just so fun to write (now somebody kick me back to picking up this fic again lmao).

2. and love, you taste like magic (bellamy/clarke, 2.8k, June 2015)

For a moment she was sure she was seeing lightning marks, her lightning marks, but then the sunlight hit his arm just at the right angle and the black ink glinted under her fingers.

But tattoos weren’t real soulmarks, no matter how much she wished them to be.

Technically the second place belongs to When you land on Earth but since that’s a collection of drabbles and oneshots, I’m not counting it to this list.  My first soulmate au (if you don’t count the strings that bind us)! It’s a bit sad but also hopeful story, a dash of angst with a happy ending and I’m really happy how it turned out despite being shorter than I would have liked it to be. It was also written for a good friend of mine and it holds a special place in my heart. 

3. the clockmaker (fixer of hearts) (bellamy/clarke, 4.9k, Feb 2016)

He seemed at war with himself for a moment and then circled his warm fingers around her wrist and lifted her left arm closer to his eyes. Her compass sat right above her wrist, a glass sphere covering a light brown dial and a thin bronze needle. The needle seemed to be sitting slightly lower at the tip, nose not moving from the bronze embossed N letter. It didn’t move from there, no matter how much he turned her wrist around.

“Curious,” he muttered and tapped gently on the glass to try and get the needle moving.

Another soulmate au! I’m in love with the compass concept in this fic and the subtle throw to Bellarke being each other’s true north. Bellamy’s character is one of my favourite things about this story, and it makes me so happy that people like it so much. 

4. You vs. Me (bellamy/clarke, 3k, Oct 2014)

Clarke was ready to tell the person to fuck off, she was in bad mood, when her words died in her throat.

Because she was looking at Batman.

She wanted to kick herself – of course, who else could be Catwoman’s love interest than a guy dressed as Batman.

[Or the three times Bellamy commented on Clarke's costume and left her speechless and the one time they unintentionally (or maybe not) went dressed as a potential couple]

I’m actually very surprised that this fic made it to top 5? It was very fun to write and basically an excuse to play dress up with Bellamy and Clarke, lmao. I read it again and it’s a bit cringey at times and it could use an edit but oh well, at least I have proof that I’ve gotten better(ish)?

5. Whiteness (bellamy/clarke, 62k+ wip, May 2014)

He set her blood on fire. He questioned her and challenged her at every step she took. But as their bodies entertwined and he granted her the whiteness she craved so much Clarke couldn't help but get addicted to him, Bellamy. And he was just as addicted to her.

AU of 1x07 up.

Oh god. This started as a oneshot and making it a multi-chaptered fic was a mistake. I’m not happy with it, at all. I just- I want to either re-write the whole thing from scratch or just delete it. It gives me a headache just looking at it right now, it’s such a mess and my characterization is off and my writing is so subpar. It did get me into the fandom though and I got to know a lot of awesome people because of it so I guess it has a positive side as well! 

What are your five least popular works by kudos? (in ascending order)

1. The second door on the left (abby/kane, 2k, Oct 2014)

Abby fumbled with the camera in her arms and pushed it in Kane’s chest.

“Here, do it.”

Marcus passed her the flashlight and took a picture of her in front of the bed. The flash of the camera illuminated the whole room and for a moment blinded Abby.

“God, I hate this.” She sneezed.

Kane was just about to respond when the sound of breaking wood made them look up just as the chandelier was coming down on top of Abby. He was faster and managed to push her aside the crashing zone, in time for Abby to get away. Shards of broken glass flew in every direction and one nicked Kane’s cheek as he protected Abby with his body. The sound of the crash left them with ringing ears for a while, the fallen flashlight shining upon the numerous glass pieces and reflecting light all over the place. 

This is ridiculous and we Don’t Talk About It. My only Abby/Kane fic and I’m pretty sure it will stay that way. 

2. across the bridge (bellamy/clarke, 1.2k, Jan 2015)

Sometimes, the things we do for peace are worse than the things we did for war.

Not surprised that this has so little kudos. It’s a Clarke-centric character study fic set in-between 2x08 and 2x09, with a very small hint of Bellarke. It focuses very heavily on guilt and remorse, and living with your choices and the consequences of that.

3. tell me, Atlas, do you want to hear a story? (monty/miller, 1.5k, Feb 2017)

The first time it happened it was a complete coincidence, a slip of the tongue really.

It was just that Bellamy had looked so confused at the prospect of why would somebody desire him after all the things he had done, so lost and so obviously still missing Clarke that Nathan blurted it out before he could think it through. At this point, anything was better than seeing Bellamy’s defeated slouch.

“I have a boyfriend.”

It became a habit after that, talking about Monty.

He didn’t know if it was of any help, but Nathan talked.

And Bellamy, Bellamy seemed less dead every time.

This is one of my favourite pieces I’ve written so far. It’s a Monty/Miller fic but it’s told through Miller’s interactions with Bellamy, and thus we get to experience the way Miller sees his relationship with Monty. It’s kinda bittersweet because of the Bellamy/Clarke situation but I love it for the Bellamy&Miller friendship and the Monty/Miller secret relationship.

4. for now (claire/matt, 852 words, May 2015)

Claire is struggling with her feelings about Matt and her indecision on how to proceed, while, once again, patching him up on her couch. In other words, nothing new.

My semi-decent attempt to try and write something other than Bellarke. It’s more of a Claire’s inner struggle study than anything else. I’m a bit meh about it tbh but at that point I was just happy that I was writing something. 

5. together or not at all (bellamy/clarke, 1.6k, May 2017)

She had let Bellamy open the bunker. She had doomed her people to a possible death. She had risked the fate of the human race. She had lied and gone behind the backs of people she had claimed to care about only for it to be just another hollow promise, another hollow explanation, another deceit born out of desperation and having the world rest on her shoulders.

She took a shot but couldn’t pull the trigger, not on him. And there laid the problem.

One of my recent works, a sort of a fix-it missing scene for 4x11. I wrote this more as a self-indulgence than anything else. Basically your standard canon Bellarke angst with a dash of them coming together again and trying to move forward.

Now, on to tagging people. I tag @nathenmiller @ofhobbitsandwomen @captainnagata @spacecleavage @hiddenpolkadots and @selflessbellamy!

[jsuki]

Jsuki; AKB48 General Election 2017 Top Moments + After-thoughts

As per every year, the annual AKB48 sousenkyo is a highly anticipated, must-watch event for all AKB48 and Japanese idol fans. It is an event that is completely decided by fans, and the top 80 girls get to stand on the stage, as well as appear on the next AKB48 single.

This year had many surprises. Even before the event, which was decided to be held outdoors in Okinawa, complete with a pre-election concert and live concert debut of the STU48 group, was cancelled at the last-minute and moved to a small indoor community centre, due to poor weather conditions. The surprises don't end there, as they carried onwards to the election itself:

SKE48's Suda Akari continues to seal spot in Kami 7: Just because I really like and voted for Akarin this year. Despite being called 'unappealing' and 'not cute', Akarin still manages to hang tight in the top 7, even climbing up one spot this year to become #6! I actually always feel a bit sad, seeing how she's never really given the kind of attention some of the girls get, despite showing proper results and a clear fanbase, but Akarin never ceases to stop smiling and doing her best. She even released her own motivational book recently, and I am immensely proud of her! I'm happy for Akarin and I'm looking forward to her in the new single already!

AKB48's Watanabe Mayu to graduate: I guess it's not that much of a surprise, but you'll still be kind of taken aback. It's been 10 years since Mayu first entered the group, and she's definitely dedicated herself to AKB48. Even if she isn't one of my top favourites, it is undeniable, her contribution and zest for this group, and I think it'll still be very sad to see her go. I guess she's going to continue her acting career(?), although no matter how I see it, Mayu is an idol through and through, so I'm uncertain about how she will do out there. Nevertheless, till she graduates, I'm sure the AKB48 fans will look over her warmly.

HKT48 / STU48's Sashihara Rino 3 straight wins!: Kudos to the Sasshi fans! I'm actually super impressed by Sasshi's fans, and she's also made history by being the first person to have a 3 straight win! She also had nearly 100,000 more votes than Mayu did, so you can see the crazy support she got. It makes you wonder if any other AKB group member will ever achieve #1 the way she did.

NMB48's Sutou Ririka announces marriage: The most talked about member of the night. Riripon received 20th this year, and during her speech, announced that she is 'in love' with someone, and has plans to marry him. This not only shocks the entire AKB group fanbase, as the group is known for their love-ban, but also surprised many current and ex-AKB group members as well. TBH, I am completely disappointed. I never was a fan of hers, but I always thought fondly of her, and for her to say something like this, seemingly with no thought of the reprecussions, is very inappropriate and disappointing. Some might think it could be a joke, but Riripon said twice that she 'is serious', and the agency has also confirmed it.

What she has done will practically undo the efforts of past and current members, everyone who has strictly stuck to the rules and even those who took it upon themselves to 'pay' for having caused trouble. My very simple take on this is that: If you want to have a relationship, just graduate. Afterwards, you can do whatever you want, and it won't cause trouble to your agency nor the members. A lot of foreigners find the AKB48 and general Japanese idol love ban to be ridiculous, but is it really? For the Japanese and asian fans in general, idols have a 'pure image' to uphold, and are about keeping the dream alive. Since an idol is bent on chasing their dreams, we shall support them. If they're dating or sleeping around, it ruins a certain fantasy and the pure image. I think the love ban is part of the job, and also to have their focus on their career. If you wanted to have a relationship, you could go join another agency or be an artist elsewhere, and you don't necessarily need to join the AKB48 group. I think this is what gets me so irked, because for the past 10 years, all the other AKB48 members have stuck to this rule, to portray themselves in clean light, and what Riripon said last night has potentially adverse effects on AKB48's image.

NGT48's Ogino Yuka ranks 5th place, breaks into Kami 7: A true Cinderella story, OgiYuka magically appears at 5th place in her first-ever election. Before the 1st day results, OgiYuka was just another NGT48 newbie member, and her sudden climb to 1st at the first day election results shocked the entire AKB group fandom. I'm not sure what this means yet, and if her position is going to stick next year, but let's wait and find out.

Shiroma Miru is the highest-ranked NMB member, NMB48's future unknown: This year, only 2 NMB members made it to the Top 16, namely Miruru and Akarin. They were 12th and 16th respectively. With Sayanee pulling out of the election this year and Riripon unleashing the marriage bomb, NMB48 generally performed poorly in the eyes of the public. Sayanee has tried her best and personally voted for her friends and fellow NMB members, but it seems that other than Sayanee, NMB really lacks outstanding members. As much as I like NMB48, even I'm not sure how they'll fare in future.

Matusi Jurina: "I'm worried for a rival-less future": With Sasshi and Mayuyu ending their reign on the sousenkyou, Jurina is the next top-ranking members. This year, she had a much closer gap with Mayu, and even HKT48's Sakura doesn't come as close. With both Sasshi and Mayu gone next year, it seems there really isn't going to be any rival for her, unless Sayanee rejoins the election next year, or Sakura and OgiYuka experiences more of a boom in the upcoming year. And with how things are, how will Jurina lead as the next face of the AKB48 group?

I think the fandom is in a bit of a mess right now, and even I as a long-time AKB48 group fan, will honestly stop supporting the team and buying their CDs once Sayanee graduates I believe. I wonder how things will turn out for the groups in future. This election has been memorable, but I'm not sure if it's in a good or poor way.