#and suddenly it feels like thats such an important issue and you are the worst person and this will follow you forever

[early-october-skies]

Me when we don't speak anymore by bears in trees

[dellinah]

I may be wrong but anon comes across as young-ish bc I think there's just a period of your young life where everything (especially when you grow up on the internet) feels just so big and important, no matter what it is.

And with how loud people are on the internet sometimes it feels like something is WAAY more important than it ACTUALLY is. Especially in fandom spaces.

What I'm trying to say is that although you may feel like this is a huge issue right now, at the end of the day if you step away from it you'll see it's just a cartoon and some people on the internet, anon. You're not making the world worse by watching it. You're not evil. You're not a bad person. I promise most people do not care what you watch, it's just that a small minority are REALLY loud.

This is not me saying that nothing on the internet matters, mind you. It very much does, especially when it comes to privacy and/or exposing people for really harmful things. It's just that things often get inflated in how bad they are. People have this tendency of having no nuance and suddenly you're a bad person for enjoying a show which is no different than commiting a real life crime in those people's eyes. But only one is an actual crime, you know

So, yeah, sometimes things feel a lot bigger than they are and a lot worse, but I promise they're not. Just enjoy whatever you want to enjoy

Hey, I'm really sorry for asking this, but do you and how do you deal with any guilt for liking Hazbin Hotel? I think the controversies and antis have got to me because I can't watch it or any content without thinking about those.

I love the songs (both the show's and PARANOID DJ's because they're bangers) but I also can't help but think "am I a terrible person with bad taste for liking this?"

Parts of this show also just make me happy, especially Angel Dust. He became such a comfort to me after I went through a similar situation. Not as extreme, but it messed me up. And Alastor is just the best character to ever be created. He sings and dances and kills and eats people, what more could you want in a man? But yeah, I just want to enjoy the silly demon show without feeling gross afterward and I don't know how to shake that feeling off.

First of all, I don't have any guilt watching anything I enjoy.

Second of all, neither should you. And this is the problem with antis and "critics". No one should EVER be made to feel bad about liking anything. Hell, I'll even extend that thought to those who like Velma. I'll never understand it, but I can't hate you for liking something.

I know Vivzie is tied to a lot of controversies, but so what? More than half of them have been debunked or shown to have changed as she grew older. Even if you still feel iffy, Hazbin is more than just Vivzie. There's an entire crew attached to this show and they should not suffer bc of one person.

I mean, you've most likely played a game or watched a movie that has had a problematic person connected to it. Yeah, that person is scummy, but you can still enjoy the content that has them featured or they created bc...that doesn't define you as a person. What you like in fiction does not translate to real life.

It's different when it comes to someone like Onision, who's content is nothing but his life and about him. I'd be more disgusted if you liked him vs you liking Hopper from A Bug's life, despite him being played by Kevin Spacey. Awful person, but Hopper is disconnected from Spacey other than voice. Or liking a song by a problematic artist. You like the song, not the person.

Once again, YOU SHOULD NOT FEEL GUILTY FOR ENJOYING SOMETHING! NO ONE SHOULD EVER FEEL GUILTY FOR ENJOYING MEDIA THAT'S MEANT TO BE ENJOYED! VIVZIE MADE THE SHOW BUT SHE IS NOT THE SHOW!

Anyone who dares to feel self-righteous over a cartoon needs to get that tree branch out of their ass.

[hearts401]

Why do you think Helluva Boss is better, in terms of writing?

OOOH i have a LOT to say about this.

I think it's a lot less rushed. it FEELS a lot less rushed. And thats not saying its all perfect, it went pretty fast too, but not as fast as hazbin.

For example, hazbin had this big deadline and they had to fit in angels arc, the carmilla/vaggie situation, the heaven stuff, AND charlies shit with her dad. So despite it being a comedy, they had to stuff a LOT of things together, which means theres less chance for filler which means it gets rushed. (bc honestly, it feels less like a comedy and more like an edgy teen humor show BECAUSE they're stuffing the comedy in while rushing to get all the important lore bits in)

so helluva boss feels more like a comedy. they have serious moments, but it leaves space for jokes and humor that dont feel out of place (for example, in the hh finale they kept making jokes that rlly didnt fit? like charlie profusely apologizing to angels who are slaughtering her people? or when pentious died and it was a joke but we were supposed to take it seriously???)

helluva boss has episodes with less emotional baggage in them, like the pilot, murder family, spring broken, and CHERUB, and the harvest moon festival, all in season one. and while they do HAVE emotional moments, theyre not super heavy. then you have episodes that feel like a mix, like truth seekers and loo loo land. and then you have heavy episodes like ozzie's and queen bee. its much more balanced (and im focusing on s1 of hb bc its unfair to pit a two season show against a one season show.)

also also also, and this is smth i complain about a lot, Hazbin Hotel is OBSESSED with making their characters as likeable as possible. unfortunately this falls on characters who DONT DESERVE IT. Like angel dust. When he harassed husk, it was supposed to be humor and funny and whatever, but when husk snapped at him, he was the bad guy suddenly. and angel still never apologized. and im not saying hb doesnt have that issue (ESPECIALLY with stolas) but i think its handled better.

blitzo is a good example. i have complaints about the circus situation, but in the end hes still not a good guy, excuse or not. he's rude, he's nosy, he's dismissive. he hunts his sister down despite her making it very clear she doesnt wanna see him. and he brushes off stolas and even uses him under the guise of a sweet date. in general, blitzo is just waaay better handled than angel dust is.

i also like the villains more? theyre not made out to be a joke as much as the villians in hazbin (per my earlier statement about all the humor being stuffed in) crimson is made to be genuinely intimidating, striker, while mocked a lot, is still a very serious villain, mammon is a big joke on purpose, and it makes sense! and then other antagonists (verosika, one and two, ect) are made out to be funny because theyre NOT big villains, they're just bitches who have beef with imp. the worst villain in hb is, of course, the one woman, stella. but thats a conversation for another ask.

meanwhile the hazbin villains are sooo dumbed down. our most serious villain was lute. adam was a huge joke and relatively annoying at times? like most of what he did was watered down by bad jokes (like killing pentious??? ppl seem to forget adam beat alastor without even tearing his clothes and its because everytime hes on screen theres a terrible joke about to be made) and the vees are just??? eh??? i dont have a TON of complaints about velvette aside from how little she actually did to the point where she hardly feels like a villain? shes moreso just annoying. and then vox hypnotizes people and hes like. evil ceo type shit but thats overshadowed by his crazy ass beef with alastor because again, he didnt do much else. and then val had that stupid scene with vox that i hate so so so so much. hes made out to be funny when he SHOULDNT BE!!! They dont take val's character seriously its weird. ick. and also we didnt have many villains to even go off of? helluva boss gave us lots of characters to work with in season one, and all of them are unique in some way, and had time to shine and will have more time to shine later because the story isnt rushing. hazbin INSISTED on concluding this arc in one season when it really shouldn't have. they didnt have the time to do it, and they tried anyway. helluva boss is better because they gave it TIME. striker is introduced in season one and we KNOW he'll come back because he got away! and he does! and hes great because they gave him TIME to be there and be gone and be there and be gone.

and now he's our most recurring villain. and i think hes awesome. crimson didnt actually have a lot of time to vanish and come back, but hes also new so its a bit different. and he had two episodes in between showing up and disappearing, and the second one had more focus on striker anyways.

i think that while hazbin is a 4/10 for me (5 if im being generous), helluva boss is a 6 or 7/10. the worst part about the helluva boss writing is stolas's family and how the women are written tbh.

tldr: helluva boss is better paced and the characters are better, and hazbin hotel is too rushed and forces these characters onto you

[chloeangelic]

OMG! The new chapter of ''Love Me Back'' is so much. How can something that starts like this chapter end up so badly? As with any good story, I knew the angst was around the corner, but what an ending.😳

I loved how you put her mental issues out in the open, with her thoughts and the therapy session in the first part of the chapter. It makes her more realistic, complex, and easier to comprehend. I totally get her. I share some of her thoughts, but at the same time, this chapter made me a bit angry. I hope the next part makes sense at the end. The mix of feelings this chapter made me feel is murky. Which shows me how well-written I found it and how much I liked it.

Self-worth can be a tricky thing, especially when starting a new relationship adds the fear of showing your true self and being rejected, a thing she's already gone through by the glimpses of her past relationships. Being told you're not girlfriend/wife material can create deep wounds, increasing her mental health struggles.

Their relationship is new, and they still have a lot to settle. I know WORDS are IMPORTANT, and they are needed, but seeing Joel show her with his actions what he wants (after all, he wouldn't let anyone get close to his daughter and develop a connection) while the reader is not able to acknowledge it, is frustrating. Not talking beforehand makes the whole situation way worse. The offer of take of Sarah, I feel like she might not be using her words yet, but she's putting herself out. She's trying to give Joel what he needs and be someone he can rely on, to be a team. The pain of Joel's rejection, coupled with his initial lack of attention, causes everything to explode. When, for once, she has the strength to defend herself and express her feelings, it's one of the worst moments.

I would love to read Joel's thoughts on the whole scene. He has so many fronts at the same time. I'm not excusing him because he could have handled the whole situation better (both of them could have). He also has his struggles and anxieties clouding his perception of the reader's emotions, making it harder for him to open himself and accept help. I hope the situation gets solved soon.

I trust you can pull out something from my ramble and that it wasn't too much, lol.😅 Thanks for the chapter! Despite preferring fluff, I'm a sucker for angst like the one you wrote.♥️

Ahhh im so glad you enjoyed it and got something out of it!!! i definitely think that new relationships are a massive catalyst for self worth issues because its such a vulnerable state to be in and youre so afraid of the other person finding something out about you thats suddenly a dealbreaker and just peacing out.

LMB girl has held soooo much back from joel, thinking shes shielding him from it, and it blows up in her face so bad cause she has this vault of crap thats bound to explode open with one little bad vibe from joel, even though theyre both misplacing their frustration. ive tried to make this fic as realistic as possible, and i think a lot of us have had periods of bottling things up and not being able to expect when the last drop hits

the whole series having such a mental health focus wasnt my intention when i started writing it - my initial idea was for it to be more FWB centered actually, but ive ended up including so much of my own experiences with self worth issues and subsequent healing, and that has made the whole thing more interesting i think

joels thoughts come out in ch 7!!!

so glad youre willing to suffer through my angst, and theres a lot of fluff coming up which is very uncharacteristic for me but we all need to see joel and his crab girl happy - they deserve it hahaha

thanks for sticking around, i love reading your detailed thoughts on the chapters <3 <3 <3

[theleftovertaco]

Petty Rivalry- Fred Weasley x Reader

I got an ask maybe 4 months ago asking me to write a fic where reader and fred are rivals and then they fuck but life's a bitch so I'm just getting to it now. Here u go lol. Made some changes so now the reader is a gryffindor chaser tho.

Warnings: smut, sub!fred, oral (fem receiving), unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it kiddos)

"Weasley, you cunt!"

"Hey!"

"Not you, George. Sorry!" You shouted above the whooshing noises of the brooms around you. Fred zoomed past you.

"Not my fault you were in the way of a bludger!"

"It literally is your fault! Your job as a beater is to keep us safe, dipshit!"

"Oi! You two. Get your shit together before we lose!" Angelina shouted as she flew past.

You set one more glare Fred's way before flying off. Between bickering, dodging, and passing, Ravenclaw was catching up and close to winning as both seekers raced around the pitch in search for the Golden snitch.

As Potter seemed to spot the small golden ball, he flew past the two of you, and within a few minutes, the game was over.

Angelina pulled you aside after your team had celebrated, shoving a finger in your face.

“You and Fred need to get it together. If you kept arguing you could have distracted the other players and cost us our win.”

You rolled your eyes and batted her hand away.

"He's the one whos always being difficult, not me!"

Angelina scoffed, "You're both arseholes to each other. Get over yourselves. Either learn to cooperate or I'll be looking for a replacement chaser and beater." She turned away and walked off, you trailing frantically behind her.

"Ange!"

"Look," she turned back, "I love you both, but quidditch is important to me, and it could help me get an internship with the Montrose Magpies, I need to secure a win, or at least a well run team."

You paused for a second, then nodded.

"Yeah, alright, I'll talk to him later today after our celebration in the common room."

Angelina seemed to relax at that, clapping you on the shoulder than walking off to join the rest of the team.

You sighed, and made your way to Gryffindor common room.

..........................

Gryffindor's common room raged about with laughter, as food and shots of firewhiskey were shared (no one asked where that came from).

You took a deep breath, and walked quickly over to where Fred was standing.

"Hey."

He glanced over at you in distrust. "Hello?"

"How are you?"

"Fine, why?"

"No reason."

"Great."

"What's great?"

"You can leave me alone now is what's great."

You rolled your eyes.

"Look, Weasley, I was trying to be nice. Work things out so we could both stay on the team together."

"We wouldn't have anything to work out if you would get your head out of your arse for five minutes during our matches."

"Me? You're the one who keeps aiming bludgers at my head, you know you're supposed to aim them away, right? Or at least towards the other team, not someone on your own."

"They wouldn't nearly hit you if you weren't in the way!"

You barked out a laugh, "That's bullshit, I am perfectly fine with my job, or I would be if you weren't out to get me all the damn time!"

By this point, you were both attracting some attention, and Angelina dragged you away while Katie did the same with Fred.

"Both of you, knock it off."

You whipped your head around to look at her, "But I tried to make amends like you said, I even-"

"Leave it alone, plus, there's an issue in the main hallway we need you to come look at."

"Why do you need me?"

Angelina just dragged you further along.

"Ange, what kind of damn issue is so important that, aaGH-" You exclaimed as you were shoved into a closet, and a very tall figure.

"Who the fuck- ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME ANGE!" You saw Fred's equally pissed off face in the dim light hanging from the top of the closet.

"You two work your shit out, we aren't letting you out until you do."

Fred yelled out in frustration, banging on the door.

"KATIE, ANGIE, LET US OUT RIGHT FUCKING NOW!"

There was only light giggling in response, and you knew there was no way you were leaving that broom closet any time soon.

You spent the next ten minutes pacing the room, trying to find a way out of the closet.

"Can you stop pacing for five seconds? It's driving me insane."

"I wouldn't have to if you hadn't gotten us locked up in here in the first place!"

"How did I get us here? Last I checked we both hated each other, so they wanted us both in here!"

"I was trying to be nice to you back there! To make amends!"

Fred threw his hands in the air.

"Well look where that got the both of us."

You stood face to face with him, eyes locking.

"Why do you hate me so much?" You asked him.

"Why do you hate me so much?"

You scoffed, "You can't just answer a question with the exact same question."

"Like hell I can. And you never answered!"

"Because I asked you first! I mean I just don't understand why it's so hard for you to just not be a dick." You turned your back and resumed your pacing.

"Y/N, it's not that, it's just-"

"Just what, because I am sick and tired of you acting as if I am the worst thing to ever happen to you, why do you hate me so goddamn much, I mean-"

"I DON'T HATE YOU DAMMIT! I LOVE YOU!"

You paused for a second, and turned back.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I've been attracted to you since second year!"

You took a second to process this information.

"So why are you such an arsehole then? For the past 5 years you have been!”

You rolled you eyes.

“Nope. Absolutely not. Liking me was not an excuse to be a dick. And don’t try some ‘I didn’t know how to express my feelings’ bullshit!”

Fred looked at you shocked.

“But… I told you that I liked you. And now I’m getting the feeling you might like me.”

“Thats… besides the point, and even if I did, that still doesn’t excuse you from being a dick, I only responded to you in the same way you always treated me!”

“Right, and I’m sorry for that, Y/N. Please allow me to make it up to you.”

Fred held you face in his hands, and you fought an instinct to jerk away.

“How the hell do you plan on making up for five years of assholery?”

Suddenly you were shoved back into the wall. Fred dropped to his knees, unbuckling your jeans.

“Please, let me make it up to you.”

He dragged your jeans down.

“Fred, what are you doing!?”

“Say the word, and I’ll stop. Please, let me make it up to you.”

Fred looked up at you with wide eyes, and you paused for a moment before nodding. He resumed, pulling you underwear past your legs, and lifted up one of your legs before diving into you.

“Fred, I- fuck!”

He dragged his tongue along your folds and nosed at your clit.

“Want you. Want your cunt, your lips, your body, please.”

You carded your fingers through his hair, dragging him closer to you.

“Fuck, want you too.”

Fred continued until you pulled him back up by his hair to meet you. You hastily unbuckled his belt and undid his trousers to take out his cock. Spitting in your hand, you ran your hand up and down his dick, causing him to let out a series of curses and moans.

He lifted you up by your thighs, and you placed his cock at your entrance, and Fred let out a whine as he pushed in.

“Fuck, love, you feel good.” He readjusted you in his arms and began fucking up into you, his thrusts making him hit that spot inside you.

“Fuck, Fred!”

The two of you continued for what seemed like forever until Fred hooked an arm under your leg and his hand wrapped around you so he could play with your clit.

“Fred, I’m gonna come.”

“I am too, love.” You felt your orgasm arrive and as you did you clenched down on his cock, causing him to release inside of you.

A few moments passed before he set you down, both of you breathing heavily.

“Your partially forgiven.”

“Partially? I just fucked your brains out, how am I partially forgiven?”

You let out a giggle.

“You take me out on a date, and I’ll consider you forgiven.”

Fred brought you into his arms, and laid a kiss on the top of your head.

“Deal.”

A moment passed, and after you both were dressed and had collected yourselves, you banged on the door to be let out.

“Angie? Kate, we’ve resolved our issues, you can let us out now!”

They opened the door, and as you both left you could hear them snickering.

Angelina shouted out from behind you, “Yeah, we heard you both resolving your issues from the other side of the door.”

Fred threw his head back half in laughter and half in exasperation while you stood there, red faced with your head in your hands.

“Next time, maybe resolve your issues in a bedroom?” Katie practically howled out.

“Shove off, Bell!”

[standarrow]

abbacchio essay under the cut because he’s so important to me (god this is so long im sorry i have adhd i hope this is readable<3)

tl;dr being on how i think he healed and handled up until part 5 :”) + thoughts on his relationship to the team

tw!!! for all of the usual things that pertain to his backstory including: [death, alcohol abuse, police, ptsd/depression, etc]

i may be projecting<3 its fine

to start:

im not a fan of the way a lot of people handle handle abbas trauma and illness. the "entering a relationship fixes your problems<3" shit. or the romanticization of depression...i see both a lot, along with utilizing his substance issues as like a catalyst. i dont have to say why that shit isnt ok or healthy.

getting into it (because i want it to be this deep):

there is ... a lot of guilt that he shoulders around the death of his partner. someone he was friends with (and relied on him as a literal partner) died because He fucked up. that person wanted to protect him and died selflessly while he'd broken his own morals and he feels like it should have been him to pay for it. 

but he wasnt. and now he suddenly has two mistakes and blood on his hands. getting fired doesnt even Begin to fix that, so he withdraws because he cant trust himself, cant trust the institution he was already disillusioned from, and imo hes angry that he didnt get punished worse for his own crimes (but cops always get off easy)

bruno finds him in the worst place of his life and gives him a chance to put schedule in his life, to protect even if its not in the way he originally thought he would. he still doesnt trust himself, i do not think he takes to working with a partner easily (what if he fucks up again. he'll get bruno/narancia/fugo killed.) and i think that reflects in why moody blues isnt meant for combat. combat = danger. 

obligatory moody blues being an allegory for his trauma and ptsd surrounding the death of his partner.. constantly haunted by his own mistake and reliving that moment. heavily referencing his wish to redo, to know every detail of that prick he let bribe him that killed his partner, to have Control. because abbacchio isnt really about The Moment -- he's making sure the Moment doesnt have a chance to come to fruition. its nipping it in the bud before the weed can kill. he wants to make sure he can figure out whats going on First and protect. to figure out past events and prevent future danger.

starting to heal:

i’ve done a timeline previously: he graduates high school in 1998, six months for the police academy, 6 months before hes out again.. joins passione in december (rainy season) of 1999, and by december of 2000 (~4 months before part 5) hes like.... well. doing better in terms of his alcoholism. we see abbacchio by part 5 occasionally and seemingly comfortably enjoying a glass or two, which speaks that after some time working hes sort gained some..... confidence in his ability to keep his intake low. 

working for bruno means he cant drink as often or binge as much, hes needed and that structure keeps him in check, its not easy and yes he slips but its about and overall upwards climb because any progress is good progress... he builds a rapport with the team, comes to appreciate brunos role in giving him a chance and some peace of mind, sees himself in fugo, treats narancia like a little brother. relationships with others cant Fix your problems but friendship and structure can help, they can be there when you need it.

hes starting to trust himself more. and his relationship to fugo and nara were as crucial as his one with bruno is.

in purple haze feedback we see that he's been teamed up with fugo, and he knows fugos stand ability very well (see mirror man fight)... they Get each other and abbacchio sees a lot of his anger and distrust at himself in fugo, and easily calms fugo down when he gets upset (see mirror man episode in the car) 

fugo helped him trust himself and others more .. that other people arent Fragile and arent going to die on him every time they get into danger and its not His fault. he relies on fugo and vice versa. the kid is powerful but also a smart tactician and extremely capable. they Get each other and it helps abbacchio trust himself in combat situations and helps calm his paranoia about getting someone killed while working ... and nara is just sunshine. hes an annoying little brother but it helps him retain normalcy. some sense of like. not everything is doom and gloom

his depression and general self? depreciation perhaps doesnt leave him because those kinds of thoughts mould your brain a certain way.. they dont just go away without some work. but perhaps time with bruno helps him start to realise his worth, the way the team appreciates him and his ability. his self consciousness can start to fall away a little bit. i think by the time december of 2000 (a year after his recruitment by my timeline) hes like... a lot more comfortable with the schedule of his life, it helps him get out of bed, gives his brain a structure to latch onto. the responsibility of overseeing the younger ones and helping bruno gives him the sort of hope for this original goal of wanting to protect

@ bruno (in a more romantic sense perhaps + why i think he distrusts giorno so much)

his relationship to bruno isnt fucking “godlike savior<3″ because thats.... needless to say Very unhealthy. 

their relationship doesnt reach a point by where i think Either would even want to enter a relationship until about a year in (~4 months before part 5 begins)... theres a certain uncertainty i think bruno has with wanting to help abbacchio, he respects and cares about the other man and canonically sees him as his senior.. and i think theres a certain wall there that bruno isnt sure he wants to try to knock down, meanwhile abbacchio isnt sure when he built those walls but theyre safe (and what happens if you try to reach out?)

i think they sort of fall into it and its not... planned. its a little impulsive but it feels natural and they help each other because bruno is this comfort to abba, is the reason he has this structure and has made this progress himself and hes not....crediting it all to bruno obviously but bruno did play a Large Role. and bruno is all about little white lies, appearances. Yes hes fine. Dont worry, he has things under control. 

and i think to an extent abbacchio knows of brunos softer spots (as does fugo, bc of the reason he and fugo team up as described in phf is to protect him) but abba doesnt realise to the extent that bruno is .... hiding his real fears. brunos a lot about compartmentalization (hi zippers) and being let into brunos internal... thoughts beyond the occasional worries he mightve shared is a big step for them. bruno buries a lot of his internal problems and worries. he has to. hes got to keep moving, keep working; people rely on him... but abbacchio is the person he doesnt feel like he needs to protect because theyre equals and maybe he can let someone in to shoulder his worries and vice versa. theyre partners.

which is why i think abbacchio initially distrusts giorno so much... its not tht he doesnt trust bruno, but bruno doesnt Tell him about this. he realizes he might not know all brunos fears (specifically @ his distate and hate towards the mafia i made the point about in the bruno isnt evil post where its like.. he Couldntve shared that information, otherwise he would endanger abbacchio)

and it scares him. it freaks him the fuck out because he doesnt understand who this kid is or why bruno trusts him so much but he trusts bruno so he goes with it, even if he doesnt Understand.

anyways thts my TEDtalk ty i love you for reading this if you got here<3

[thoyoung]

127 June energy readings

haechan: in June he's going to have money issues somehow. I think since he'll stop with dream promotions he might feel a bit disoriented for a while. will juggle different stuff but nothing will give him real income or satisfaction. maybe he won't get paid enough for his work. he feels a bit tired and doesn't take responsibility for anything. he's also very lonely. I talked in a different post about his love vibes (or privately with someone now I don't remember lol) and he might be in a romantic slump, meaning he's either single or likes someone that doesn't like him back. but he has no interest to date rn. he will get gigantic help from different people tho, his family first of all, very good relationship with his family, then huge help with everything in his life in June from the king of swords who for me it's doyoung, the emperor who for me is johnny and the hierophant who here I perceive as taeyong. usually taeyong is cups but here I feel him being the teacher and counselor of the situation. haechan also got the magician, very powerful card. this is him and it means power and self awareness. it tells him to work against being abused by others. it could mean growth or deception, based on his choices.

johnny: oof johnny is having a hard time. he's in a "what's the point of all of this?" mood. he's a bit depressed, lonely, sorrowful. and I got the lovers in reverse which could mean problems with love or a real breakup. I got the emperor card tho who is him, it means he didn't lose his shit completely and he's just going through it a bit. temperance card, he will get a hold of his life and will reach balance. the 3 of swords reverse also gives me confirmation of love problems, maybe a toxic partner or cheating. it suggests johnny to step back from this relationship. king of cups reversed tells me he has issues with jealousy and either he or his partner fears commitment. could be him. he might like someone but fears commitment and at the same time he's jealous of them being with someone else lol. besides this, he's feeling a bit suffocated by work, things are going well, new projects might come his way, but he has to be wary of being too self centered and proud in a negative way

taeil: he's bored af ahahaah. I got the moon card which obv tells me it's him. it has to do with dreams and illusions. he's either dreaming too much and needs to step back and be more rational or it tells him to step ahead and not be afraid of the darkness. I think there are good opportunities for him in June but he's afraid of the burden of it and the fear of responsibility. queen of swords in reverse could be his employer which is cruel and impatient. maybe this is why taeil is afraid to take on a new job. he's afraid of competition. five of wands reverse tells me he won't accept a new opportunity because he wants to avoid conflict. death in reverse tells me he's also afraid of change. this month he won't step out of his comfort zone. at the moment he's perhaps spending too much money, or having unsustainable habits masking them as self care. but I also got the tower and wheel of fortune. around the end of the month he might have great news and things will suddenly change for the better.

taeyong: needs to go on a self discovery journey in June. he has to think of his potential and make good use of it. June is a very favorable month for him, very abundant. the cards I got reminds him of how beautiful and incredible he is and that he has to use that to his advantage lmao. could mean something to do with the beauty or fashion industry. might releases a clothing line or something. he will have great success in June if he doesn't take things for granted. he will go through a bit of despair and discouragement at work but he'll overcome this soon bc he will achieve great success. he's afraid of ruining stuff for himself but he only needs a bit of courage and faith. no love message in this reading lol

yuta: his reading is very hard. it's like he doesn't want to know anything. his energy is very hidden. I got both king of swords and queen of swords but they don't want to mean anything. a message I got from this reading is that he's in a very weird mood, he's resisting change. he needs to listen to his inner voice and do what his intuition tells him. yuta could have witchy powers ngl lmao. he might be good at tarot or manifesting. he's hidding his energy a lot. perhaps he needs to work on opening up his heart. regarding his job he might need to overcome some small obstacles but nothing relevant. might learn something new of have a new opportunity. very particular reading. yuta doesn't want his energy to be seen lmaoooo

jaehyun: not to scare you but the worst reading. jaehyun is having a bitchy attitude. he's angry, manipulative, has difficulty maintaining good relationships, he's domineering, authoritative. has lost all hope and he seriously needs help. insecure emotionally thats why he's being hard on everyone. could be aggressive. cruel. jealous. impatient. literally all cards are this way 😭😭😭 he's in a big denial, doesn't want to make choices, refuses to examine his behavior, is being avoidant. he feels imperfect. let's all suport him in June and send him words of love pls. tried to clear the reading to understand why he might feel like this and there's no real concrete reason. he reached a breaking point and he needs to start loving himself more. he thinks everything is his fault. he has deep issues with perfectionism which is causing his bad mood. he has to stop concentrating on all of those little details and look at the bigger picture. what he think is truly important it's actually not that important afterall

jungwoo: interesting reading. jungwoo is having issues with being calm. he might accuse people of dishonesty, could fight with someone and he'll be wrong. he might think others are not paying him enough respect. could act impulsive. can't see the situation clearly and is too afraid to stop and realize that no one wishes bad things on him. feels like he has to protect himself. this could be just a few days matter tho bc generally the month of June looks good. he'll move forward with his life and he'll be enthusiastic of some stuff happening. he will do something definitely, some new job or a project and he'll be successful. great great messages about his job, very successful month in terms of that

mark: lmao someone's going to confess and he'll be so taken back. he doesn't like this person at all. a very unwanted confession. it will make him think a lot tho. he'll be on edge for a while and a bit paranoid. regarding work tho, similar to haechan, he'll think a lot of the future, also some financial loss fear and wondering what he's supposed to do now. can't see the future well but I also see he's going to keep working very hard and he'll have success that way. good relationships with friends and family. might celebrate a bit or have some free time and grow tired of it. has to take care of his health a bit more

for doyoung I talked about his love energy here but I did another reading regarding work just to have a more general insight on June. I see fullfilment towards the end after some difficulties. he's too rigid tho and hard on himself. I got other cards urgently advising him to step back from that toxic relationship he's been in. he's literally got all the cards meaning he can't move on from it right now tho so nothing much will change. that thing is probably roaming his head a lot in June. asked for new info but I only got the same messages I got in the love reading

[system-of-a-feather]

The disjointed and discontinuous healing and recovery that comes with DID is so frustratingly annoying. When you are making good progress on one thing and get really good motion and flow with you, you are really making solid work and its great, but THEN your brain picks up some trauma triggers to process and now THAT is the overwhelming issue. You stop what you are doing and you focus on helping that issue, and suddenly POOF! Its gone, out of reach, and just as you were getting into the flow of working on that and recovery with that, its gone.

So now you look back at the other thing you were working on, and see it is still there and you could return to it, but the entire flow was disrupted and now it is hard to figure out how to start working on it again. The recovery and processing momentum was lost because trauma brain randomly pulled up a random trauma to process intensely, and then disappeared, and now you have no momentum and have to pick everything up and slowly start back up.

You neither got to a comfortable place of processing and working on what you were focusing on, nor did you fully get to work through the trauma, and now lost momentum on both.

It is better than a relapse or a start over, but it gets exhausting how tiresome - in the path of healing - that we have to switch gears and loose all the momentum and reinforcement for doing healthy stuff that allowed us to make good progress. 

Rather than being able to focus on one or two things for a month or so and to work on it slowly, you can try to focus on one things, but then other issues, trauma, identity crises, intersystem issues, interpersonal issues, and everything will sucker punch you.

It makes recovery and healing hard when dissociation and a shit ton of poorly processed / unprocessed trauma can come by and completely change the focus and halt whatever you were doing, demand attention, and then disappear.

I really do wish that this disorder had only a few large topics and issues to address and that I could focus on those that are part of it but the disorder just has SO many overlaying issues on top of it, and because its mental health, none of it comes at a convenient time or at a pacing that works nicely.

It can get really overwhelming and frustrating to be trying to work on something and for something hardly or only partially relating to plop itself on the table and tell you to fix it first.

It’s like getting near the climax of the story, feeling as though you are about to make a breakthrough and come to a good strong realization that will make a change and then YEET NEVERMIND THATS THE OTHER ISSUE.

It’s a headache and to be honest, it is a bit of a grind on my gears at the moment. I’m not too annoyed because it is what it is and it is still a net positive, but its just tiring to have to get the ball rolling again when I had such a flow of progress on Topic A

Really, if I had to say one of the worst aspects of DID and how it affects healing, it would really be the discontinuity and disjointedness of healing and how that ends up affecting how memory and trauma is handled. Every day, there are like 500 things to actively process and work through as a system and as a part, and it makes trying to work through ANY of them so exhaustingly tiresome.

Having parts and alters really isn’t the big thing or issue with DID, it is just how much having all that discontinuity and disconnectedness can make it very very difficult to move forward and progress in life, emotionally or otherwise.

It’s like having 10,000 tabs open at once and on each tab is an important assignment and they all vaguely correlate with each other and most need the other tabs to get information to complete them, so you just spend time clicking trying to find the right tab but if you click the WRONG tab it sends a spiral and now you are locked in that tab until you solve it and it’s just stressful and overwhelming.

I dunno, I really don’t get the hyperfixation on the alters aspect. It really is a red herring to me.

-Riku (Host)

[abraxos-is-toothless]

Undercover- Throne of Glass AU (8)

Um, this one is a shortened update, not even 2k words. Thats because I took some off an moved it into 9:) Ren and Connall’s ship name is now Renall. I might write content on these two in other AUs as well?

A/N: If you read Surprises, the chap will come but I messed it up and I’ve had to redo things. And I’ve also had a few issues at home but I’m promise to get it to you as soon as I can<3

Undercover Masterlist.

Full Masterlist.

----------

Gavriel, Vaughan and Rowan were walking through Hyde Park, coffees in hand. It was early morning, grass still covered in dew and their breath could be seen on the air. A few days ago, Aelin had told them that Arobynn had a few men who stayed in the area a lot and she needed people to come down to see if they could spot anyone, taking all of their findings back to her. Rowan had offered himself up for the job, along with Vaughan and Gavriel. The two of them had agreed but Gavriel knew it was just to get them alone, could see it in the way his Boss was very adamant that the three of them could do it. So here they were, silently walking, seeing absolutely nothing out of the ordinary.

Rowan nodded towards an empty bench, gesturing that they should sit about twenty minutes into their walk. Rowan and Vaughan sat, but he chose to remain standing, facing them so they were covering all angles. The former was fiddling with the lid of his coffee cup, sighing when the latter turned and raised a brow at him. “Come on Ro, spit it out. You know something.” Vaughan just stared, waiting, and he felt himself go still when Rowan finally opened his fucking mouth.

“She’s Rhoe’s daughter.” Oh, for the ever loving fuck. Oh gods.

“Tell me you’re joking.” He whispered it, knowing what the answer would be, but he was terrified anyway.

“I’m not joking, Gav.” Rowan was looking at him, worry etched all over his face, but he didn’t know what to say, didn’t know what to do. This was all so unbelievably fucked up. Vaughan’s only sign of being shocked was the way his eyes widened just a fraction. Despite that, he was probably running over everything in his head, trying to figure out how he missed something so important. “Rhoe Galathynius, the man who led this gang before her, had a daughter. There is no information on her anywhere, absolutely nothing. But she was around what, nine or ten when he was killed, so her parents must have set something up in case the worst happened, making it look like she never even existed.” He felt sick. If he hadn’t left, if he hadn’t listened to Eliana, then maybe he could have done something, could have kept Aelin from Arobynn. Could have kept her safe.

But Eliana, his beloved Eliana had made him go, to keep him safe and their son, their Aedion. She had known who Gavriel was, why he was with them all of those years ago. It was his task back then to take down Rhoe and the whole organization, but she had shown him that they weren’t bad, not really. They were the ones trying to keep the city safe. Gavriel hadn’t meant to fall in love with her, but she was just so good, so pure and so fucking beautiful. He had left before it all went to shit, telling his bosses he was compromised, though Eliana would have never hurt him. He had walked away from the love of his love, his son. And now he was finding out he’d walked away from his niece. Which she was really, although Eliana and Aelin’s mother were cousins, they were sisters in all the ways that mattered. The realisation knocked the breath out of his lungs, his knees going weak, almost dropping to the ground before Vaughan was by his side, holding him steady. “Fuck Gav, what the hell is wrong?”

“She’s my niece.”

Rowan was confused; his tell was the way he scrunched his nose a little. “You fell in love with Eliana on that assignment we know, and she fell pregnant, but that doesn’t make Aelin your niece Gav.”

“It does because I married her.”

The sudden silence between them was deafening. He’d never told either of them this. Suddenly Rowan was glaring at him, slowly standing so that they were level with one another, face to face.

“I’m sorry; I thought you just said that you married her. This by the way would make you related to them, which would mean in the end, you’d go down with them.”

No going back now, the damage was already done. “I married her, Rowan. I took her last name and she had the marriage certificate. I didn’t think at the time and then everything happened...I didn’t think I’d ever be back here.”

“Fuck! Why have you never mentioned this before?!”

“I’ll always protect her, I’ll always protect them. Lia knew who I was, what I was there for. I told her once, that I’d leave it all behind, but she made me go, so that maybe one day I’d get to know my son. That they’d find me when the dust settled.” But it didn’t end that way. Rhoe, Evalin and his beloved were all gone and his son lost. It took him years to find Aedion and when he did, he was a coward, never approaching the boy, the man now, that he’d kept tucked close to his heart. Vaughan was now swearing, in multiple languages and Rowan was just staring at him, pine green eyes burning holes into his skull.

“One of them is going to piece together who you are eventually, Gav. Aelin asked how I hadn’t noticed how similar she and Aedion were. We need to start moving faster but I don’t know how to do that. They’re just so...” Rowan trailed off but he didn’t need to explain more. Gavriel understood perfectly, having been through this already. It was hard getting so close and going so deep undercover because the lines always blur one way or another.

You just have to figure out which side you’ll be on when it disappears completely, before it’s too late.

oOoOo

Aelin sat on the sofa in the living room, her legs tucked underneath her as she watched Lorcan, Elide, Manon, and Dorian play twister. She laughed as Lorcan, giant brute that he was, collapsed and began grumbling about how stupid the game was. “Oh come on, Lorcan. No need to be a sore loser.” Fenrys goaded him from his spot on the chair, bag of peanuts in hand. Lorcan simply flipped him off and Fenrys chuckled, throwing a peanut at his forehead. Manon had an unfair advantage, Aelin thought, considering how fucking flexible the woman was. She was somehow weaved in between Elide and Dorian and didn’t look bothered by the way she bent. Chaol flicked the spinner again, calling out a ‘right hand, blue’ just as Rowan, Gavriel and Vaughan walked in. All three men looked amused by the sight before settling themselves around the room. Vaughan moved towards Lorcan, still looking like a kicked puppy and Gavriel towards Fenrys, who frowned when the older man began stealing his snacks. Rowan however, he moved to sit beside her, a strong thigh pressed against her feet.

Aelin ignored the urge to press against him more and asked, “See anything interesting out there?”

Rowan shook his head, watching as the three idiots on the floor collapsed into a pile of limbs when Dorian moved wrong. “Nothing. It seemed oddly quiet though, I don’t know how to explain it.”

“We’ll just have to keep an eye out then.” All he did was nod. He seemed quite sullen and part of her desperately wanted to ask if he was alright but thought better of it. She still didn’t know what she felt about him and wanted to keep it between the two of them for now.

“Where’s Aedion?”

“Lys wanted to go shopping, again, and she took Asterin too. I made Aedion go so that he could keep an eye out.” Lysandra thought it would help Asterin feel better to get out of the house, to go and do something for herself. Manon had wanted to go with them but decided to let them be, to not overcrowd her friend. There was a rustling of plastic as the Twister mat was flattened again and Connall, Ren, Fenrys and Chaol started playing. Aelin didn’t miss the way when Gavriel called out ‘left foot, yellow’, Ren slipped just a little and brushed against Con, making the other man’s face flush. They stared at each other for a minute, abruptly looking away when the next move was called. Aelin let a little knowing smirk slip, just in time for Ren to catch her eyes. He had the balls to look at her dumbly, as if he hadn't a clue what he’d just been doing. They all forgot how attentive she was to things and thought they were being sneaky when they weren’t. She would be happy if they made a go of things, once they both stopped being idiots about it. Ren and Connall suited each other.

Yrene walked in from the kitchen with a small tray of food, murmuring gently to Rowan, Gav and Vaughan. It was now noon after all and they boys had been gone all morning. Vaughan walked to where she placed it on the coffee table, giving his thanks as he reached for one of the sandwiches. Yrene only smiled back at him and was just pulling herself back up to normal height when she let out a shocked, “Oh gods fuck.” Aelin stood instantly and Chaol abandoned the game, rushing to his wife’s side.

“Love, are you alright?” She nodded, one hand on her back and the other on her swollen belly. Everyone had stopped what they were doing now, all on alert as they watched.

“Yeah, yes, just fine. Uh, no need to panic.” Very reassuring. Aelin moved to stand in front of her, placing a hand on top of Yrene’s. The woman leaned back a little to look at her, wide eyes blinking a couple of times.

“My waters just broke.”

Oh gods fuck, indeed.

------

Again, I’m sorry it’s short but this is how I wanted the chap to end soooo:) Give me a shout if you want to be added to the tags!!!

Tags: @bryaxisthefaceofnightmares @lila-baard @empress-sei @acourtofterrasenandvelaris @tswaney17 @queen-of-glass @thesirenwashere @awkward-avocado-s @b00kworm @http-itsrebecca @eatmysandwiches @poisonous00 @flowersinvegas @julemmaes @mu-si-ca-l @spyofthenightcourt  @sis-it-dont-add-up  @mad-madeline-ace​ @df3ndyr  @jesstargaryenqueen  @notyournymphetish @carbconnoisseur @aelinfeyreeleven945tbln  @superspiritfestival @alyx801 @silentquartz @tillyrubes10  @dayanna-hatter

[yellowbluemoonshine]

One of my triggers is when someone says that villain cannot be or deserve to be redeemed. Like they acknowledge the tragic circumstances, but they say like the villain show no remorse for killing innocent people or just want to destroy everything. I really don't like people saying they want the villain have some naruto's redemption. But I feel like they missed point of why many of us want it. The villains never had a choice unlike endeavor or afo.

Agreed.

I think some people dont understand the meaning of redemption. Redemption means facing with what you did, taking responsibility and this is the best thing that person can do. To me, there is no such thing that great villain or best villain, something like improving yourself to be better villain cause being a villain is literally comes from choosing to not improving yourself to be better person. People dont choose to be evil or bad, they learn all bad things from their environment. They just simply dont choose to be better person and thats the flaw of "villains" have. Choosing to do wrong things usually comes from lack of goodness, lack of empathy.

Like, Overhaul was abandonded and traumatized by it. He was used  as a tool by Yakuza. They used a child. And Overhaul became a yakuza and he truly wanted to pay his boss for taking him in. But what makes overhaul “bad” guy is not choosing to be yakuza cause he was groomed to be, his flaw was choosing to not changing. He could’ave emphatize with his underlings and could connect with them. He could emphatize with Eri cause Eri is just like her, she was abandoned and taken by Yakuza. Overhaul went to school and had people around him, instead of obsessing with past, he could open himself to new people. he could gain new different perspectives, he could at least try. Overhaul didnt suddenly decide to destroy little girl, he learnt those horrible things from Yakuza but when he could choose to be better person, he didnt.

There is a reason that Shigaraki is meant to be parallel with him. Unlike Overhaul, Shigaraki didnt go to school and he didnt have people around him, he was isolated but when he met with other people, he chose to care, listen their needs.

This shows that Shigaraki choosing to change but there are villains who doesnt want to change. I dont know that what kind of person Overhaul would be, if he had better life or if he could ever change for better but for now, he doesnt seem to want to change and story didnt give any hint about it.

There is a reason that some characters get redemption but some do not. The characters/villains who dont get redemption or who dont want to change is not cool or “loyalty to their evil cure” or something like that. They are people who choose easy ways cause redemption means taking responsibility and trying to be better person, improving yourself as person is not easy at all.

Murder is bad, wrong, yes but we all are humans equally and people dont just suddenly decide to doing worst thing. And sometimes, people dont have too much choices, sometimes they can be in hard situtions, sometimes they do things to survive, many reason can be, we cant know that. So yes, murder is bad but that doesnt mean that murderer is bad person.

The thing that many people ignore is anyone could do those horrible things. Lets say, you are in hunger game. If you dont kill, other person will kill you. Many people would choose to kill. Or lets say, if you dont kill, they will your family or you are hungry and if you cant kill that person, you wont get food. blah blah. Point is what importance is not the degree of crime.

Most important thing is How aware is the perpetrator of what he is doing? Under what conditions did he make this choice? when and where did he make this choice?

Abuse, rape, murder. These things are all bad things (i wont talk about rape cause i dont have enough information about it cause it mihgt relate a lot of things.).

For example, Endeavour abused his family, Shigaraki killed people. Many people wouldnt care abuse or bullying cause “its not like they died”, most people tell them to get over it and they ignore all the effects of abuse. (This is actually what bnha focus on. Abuse.) Well, of course killing is pretty bad though.

Now, we can ask the questions.

-What Endeavour did?

Violence towards his family

When Endeavour made this decision?

He was grown man, basically when he was an adult, an age that you are responsible for your actions cause you can see the difference between right and wrong and you are capable of holding yourself

Under what conditions did he make this choice? 

He did work so hard to be No 1 hero but he failed, um, he has money, access to a lot of things, good education so of course, when you worked hard and you dont get results, you will be so upset, it would be hard. But we can say that Endeavour wasnt even really in hard sitution at all.

What kind of choices he made?

He chose his ambitions over well being of his family. So basically he made very selfish decision with his own will for the sake of selfish desires and it resulted with other people’s getting hurt and Endeavour didnt even care about that.

How this selfish decision affect other people?

His wife became unstable and stayed in hospital for 15 years, she is still in there

Shouto lost his all childhood, he was traumatized and still having flashbacks from his trauma

Fuyumi had to act like a parent since her young age, Natsuo has anger issues cause of all this stuff

Touya/Dabi literally dealing with mental issues, identify disorder cause of abuse effects

So basically, Endeavour is fully responsible for what he did.

Btw for the people who dont know, this is a crime in real life, he should be arrested but look at what he got. He decided to change, like 6 months ago or something. Except of his hero job, he apologised and left the house for them and thats it. Rei and Fuyumi already is ready forgive him cause Rei wants his children to be happy cause Endeavour took that hapinness from them, Fuyumi just wants happy normal family cause Endeavour took that normal family life from her, Shouto is forcing himself to forgive cause to be able to be hero, he needs to work with his father and his all family wants this. From people’s eyes, Natsuo seems “someone who couldnt get over past” just because he didnt forgive his father or just because he didnt act like nothing happenned, he gets social pressure from it. This probably didnt happen, if Endeavour wasnt prohero.

Now, lets look at Shigaraki.

What Shigaraki did?

Murder, kidnap, threatinning, violent behaviours without hesitations

When Shigaraki made this decision?

Lets look at how it all started.

When Shigaraki chose to kill people?

when he was 5 years old? when he was 7-8 years old when Afo manipulate him to kill people? or when he became an adult and continuing this murder?

Point here is; children cant be responsible for crimes for a reason cause they dont have ability to understand what is right what is wrong.

so when he killed his family; it was accident except his father.

But with his father, it was self defense. Many people want to believe that it was intentional but its not, his father hit him and he reacted to violence, thats it. There is also other fact that children can not able to hold theirselves, especially like when you just watched all your family s death in front of your eyes.

So, logically he can not be responsible for his family’s death.

When he was 7-8 years old, Shigaraki is making a decision here and from this moment, he continues the murder but what kind of decision he is making? Under what conditions did he make this choice?

He was traumatized and he is dealing with abuse effects, his anger, negative feelings that he has no idea to how to deal with, he didnt get any education, he doesnt have people who will give him a different choice or people who wil give him some kind of affection, he is literally with Afo all alone, isolated, dont know what to do, doesnt know what is right and Afo says him “you have two choices”

1- suffer lonely forever like this while others are having fun but just you know, you will be disappointed for me-the person who saved you, if you stay like this

2- destroy anything you dont like and make me proud

This didnt happen right when he was 7-8,

Shigaraki is with Afo since he was 5, he listened those words for years and he hold himself back. Then the decision Shigaraki make was first one, he hold himself, until the moment holding himself is not an option. This is why he became a murder. Let me remind you, he was 7-8 so he still wasnt responsible for killing at that age.

so you can say, now Shigaraki became an adult so he can choose but we all know that people dont grow, if they dont have a chance to grow.

People kill to survive, this is not to justify murder, this is understanding of that sometimes some people can not really make choice in some situtions.

If a person is not given growth conditions, children cannot grow.

Shigaraki may have grown biologically, but mentally, he was not given the opportunity to grow. What makes us humans human is our interaction with other people.

If we do not interact with anyone, we lose our identity or in the case of Shigaraki, our personality does not occur. If Shigaraki has not grown, how can he be considered an adult?

We know that many terrible events such as trauma and violence can cause long-term damage to people's brains regarding mental health. So, how can Shigaraki's trauma be responsible for what she does, given his mental health?

We know that it is impossible not to lose mental balance in conditions of Shigaraki, it is impossible to grow, it is impossible to protect his mind against manipulation at the age of a child. So how exactly could Shigaraki cope in these conditions?

This is the problem. He cant not be able to handle it. Impossible.

You might say you could choose not to kill, but while the only adult who was with him showed him that it was true, and how he could otherwise deal with these feelings he had accumulated in him, what else could Shigaraki do?

Shigaraki kills without hesitation because killing is all he knows, the only thing he has been taught.

That's why Shigaraki's interaction with his team is important because it was the first time in his life that he met different opinions and people.

So he started to heal throughout the series. He chose to improve, to be a better person. So this character can get redemption.

And he feels guilty about what he does, but he does not show it by crying, he shows treating his own life as nothing and harming himself. Shigaraki may have begun to develop herself, but it does not mean that his trauma will cure magicly and he will suddenly getting away from Afo manipulation, he cant because he still hasn't given her another choice. No one was able to show him another way to survive both without suffering and having to kill. That's why it's important for a hero to reach out him.

Yes, Shigaraki killed a lot of people and they didnt deserve it, of course but whether he killed one person or killed million people, he had no choice. Everyone wants this character to pay the price because they want to blame someone for those much death, whereas like Afo and Ujiko who made Shigaraki suffer, those who choose not to reach Shigaraki when they can reach like Gran Torino etc, are more responsible than Shigaraki for what they did because they choose. But Shigaraki is just putting into practice what he has been taught, thats all he knows.So people really want to blame someone, they should blame people who could do something about it but choosing not to, they could blame the people who hurt this kid for their selfish reasons, they shouldnt blame the kid who is just reacting his pain cause he doesnt have a choice, he is not making a decision and people REACT.

Shigaraki can not understand his actions of how he effect other people / effect of his actions cause he is hardly be able to see them as an indiviluas, thats what happens, when you live your life as isolated. Shigaraki cant care other people s life while his own life was treated as worthless, they literally ignored his pain, even when he was a child. Shigaraki cant emphatize with people in society who have good lifes cause he never felt a safety his all life, there is no way he can understand their comfort. So basically, in those conditions, its not that Shigaraki doesnt want to emphatize with them, he CANT.

(This is why he asked Deku cause he is trying to understand at least to be able to improve himself for better which is the most important thing).

This is why people like Afo, Ujiko, Hero commity, Endeavour, they are worse than people like Shigaraki, Dabi, Hawks, Toga etc cause those people who created these “monsters” with their full will for the sake of their selfish desires. They are more responsible for monster’s actions than monsters casue they are the one who groomed them, rebuild their mindset.

That was also the subject of the Frankeinstein story. The monster may have killed a lot of people, but who created the monster? How does the monster become guilty when there are people who can teach him the truth, but don't choose to teach it, while the monster doesn't know what it's doing is right and wrong? However, he was not taught better. So how can he choice better, if  he hasnt taught better? HE CANT.

As many as people want, may think Shigaraki is making a choice right now and that he's a bad guy, but in those circumstances, it was impossible for Shigaraki to choose a better option.

What do you expect to happen when you close someone in a room for years, stop him from talking to people and subject him to constant violence?

Do you think that person will not react to this violence?

Do you expect that person to behave like human while that person lives away from all kinds of human conditions?

Under these conditions, it is nonsense to expect better than Shigaraki.

In other words,

murder is apparently worse than violence, but an adult like Endeavor, who chooses exactly what he is doing without caring about the harm to other people, is fully responsible for what he does. Shigaraki, on the other hand, cannot really be held responsible for what she did, as it is impossible to act otherwise under these conditions.

So i understand that people are upset with death of people which is normal, those people who were killed by Shigaraki didnt deserve it at all but people need to understand that Shigaraki didnt have better choice, path than this. People say “this doesnt justify” cause they are scared of that the person will get away from what he did but point here is he doesnt get away from anything, he is victim whose all choices and humanity taking away from him so treating this victim as villain who just should defeated is NOT justice. If people want to blame someone, they should blame the people who are TRULY responsible for this, not the victim whose humanity stolen from him. Thats the point here.

By the way, not everyone has to be like Shigaraki. Shigaraki is already a character designed to be the ultimate victim. The reason it parallels with Deku is not because they are both heirs, but because they are both essentially the same kind child. But not everyone could be this kind, they could react worse and they might not have adapted to change that much. Shigaraki is just a tragic example of even you are the kindest person in the world, in terrible conditions, you would be just like Shigaraki or probably worse. He is a tragedy character, symbolize the victimhood that shows untentionally with most unpleasant ways. (Toga, Dabi, Shigaraki etc they all symbolize effects of violence though, they are not choosing a decision but actually just reacting the violence they endured, thats all, maybe i can make analysis about it later.)

Redemption is not about deserving or not. It's about wanting to be a better person but facing your creations or not. And if a villain receives redemption, it already shows that he has this potential from the very beginning, potential to be a good person, actually he was not as bad as that was thought, that is. Well at least, well-written redemptions work like this. In other words, villains such as Joker or Ujiko that will not receive redemption have nothing to admire. Choosing to be a villain until the end of your life is not something to be proud of, it is something to be ashamed of, because this is proof that you don't want to improve yourself.

I was just gonna say “i agreed” and make it short but i guess, i am kinda bored and this post became my rant, lol. Thank you anon btw.

[duskdragonxiii]

tell us your toy story 4 thoughts dusky

Ok you made this can of worms and now you have to die in it

Toy story 4 was the worst entry in the series by far, which i guess wasn't too difficult bc the first 3 films had already been great- and that is very very rare that all films in a 3 part series are good and not unnecessary. Its a shame TS4 came along and broke the trend. They should have ended it with 3 where it felt it ended, that was the natural end to the story

It is completely contradictory to woody's previous (and complete) character arc. Woody in this film completely reverts back to his previous state of being a shithead who's jealous of other people getting attention. The previous 3 films were about woody getting past his fear of abandonment and accepting that things change and life goes on. IMMEDIATELY the film opens on woody hating the fact Bonnie gave the Sherrifs badge to another toy and left him in the cupboard. Like ok, sure, maybe woody would still be a little jealous of not being played with, but not the way he behaves about it. if they wanted to address these themes again they would have been so much better making Jessie the focus of the movie since her issues with abandonment are so much worse and so much fresher.

Buzz Lightyear, though he had been gradually dumbed down and was never very intelligent- suddenly has no brains whatsoever. He's not much more than a joke now. Haha Buzz doesn't know what thoughts are isn't that funny. Yea he was a joke in TS3 too im not going to pretend he wasn't, but he and woody's friendship was still a key element in there. In TS4 he does..... Nothing.

Don't even get me started on Bo. Bo hasn't been present since TS2 and even in TS1 her role was absolute minimal. Her purpose really served as nothing but a jealousy pivot plot device in the development of Woody and Buzz' friendship. In TS4 they changed her entirely. She's not the same character anymore. We get it, you wanted a badass heroine in there for the Rep but [gestures to Jessie again] you really missed this. This movie could have had SO MUCH POTENTIAL if you had just REMEMBERED JESSIE IS THERE. We did not need Bo Peep and her weird "lets give woody a girlfriend" plot. Something something she helped woody find the next part of his life- except for the fact the ENTIRITY of this story is unnecessary.

The very focus of this whole saga is how best friends should stick together no-matter what. You've got a friend in me. Too bad that's out the window. Woody is fine leaving the gang to go and wander with Bo- contradicting the entire message of the previous films.

I get what they were trying to go for with forky, but given the context of the film compared to its predecessors its just totally lost. It's really overshadowed by what the hell else is going on- to the point i barely rmember what that plot was about. What was the point of Forky. It was a good premise and opened up all the mysteries of what qualifies as a toy and like how they're made and such and that even the simple things are important to a child but. He doesn't seem to serve as much more than a plot device either- because how the fuck are they gonna make a 4th movie in a finished franchise. In the end thats what forky feels like.

They bigged TS4 up for having very heavy themes never before addressed in an animated film for children and stuff in it and for being heartbreaking- but it did not meet those expectations in the slightest. I bawled my eyes out at TS3. My DAD cried at TS3. But TS4 didn't deliver at all. Those heavy themes they talked about? With the introduction of forky I expected it to be something about identity or something. That potential was there. But.... no it was organ donation. I'm not saying that's not a big thing, but overall it had so fucking little impact at all. They are toys. And in the end it would have no impact on woody anyway, because Bonnie would never find out, because HE FUCKING LEAVES THE GROUP. If you wanted to address organ donation SURELY you should have had him give up a part of himself and STILL be welcomed back lovingly among his friends who would support his decision. Surely Bonnie would be sad that her toy suddenly stopped working, but she would love him anyway. But she never knows because Woody becomes "lost". Bonnie is about 3-4 years old right? She absolutely has object permeance and when she discovered her cowboy is missing she will be so sad. She has other toys, but not that one. Do you people not remember TS3.

Tbh i do not even remember this movie that well. I saw it once in cinemas and was so incredibly disappointed I have never watched it again. So my points may be a little off bc ofc this is just my understanding of this film. But it annoys me so much to the point praise for it makes me want to hit people. They could have done so much better. It was an unneccssary sequel. they would have been better using similar story for a completely unrelated (preferably new) franchise instead of capitalising badly on characters who are already whole and loved. Animation is a hell industry under capitalism and TS4 ended up feeling more like a graphics showcase than a heart filled movie. I could probably go on but jesus christ i. sorry

[argumentl]

The Freedom of Expression Ep 8 - About Sawajiri Erika's early comeback. (*Treatment of drug addicts*)

K: Hi, This is Dir en grey's Kaoru. Joe san, Tasai san, once again.

J, T: Please. Thank you very much.

Kami: Me too.

J: Oh, kami too, right?

K: Unlike on the radio show, he's always around now, isnt he? There were times when he wasn't around before.

J: I think he descended to us about once a month on the radio show.

T: *laughs*

K: In that show, he just flitted in sometimes, and that was it.

J: Yes, yes, yes.

K: Now he's everywhere.

J: He's a regular commentator now.

K: *laughs*

T: This time we have some news from Tokyo Sports.

J: Ah! From the celebrity world

T: Lets start.... Do you know the Japanese comedy duo 'Nihon Elekitel Rengo', famous for the 'Dameyo, damedame' sketch?

J: I didn't, but I learned about them from Tokyo Sports.

T: What about you, Kaoru?

K: I know them.

T: They are a female duo, but one of them, Nakano san, got married to an older man working at the same agency, but it was a marriage with zero prior social interaction.

J: What does that mean? They got married on the same day they met?

T: Well, she was approched by the man, Matsuo Atom san, but she continuously turned him down. Then she suddenly decided last year to marry him. So, its kinda being debated online whether it is or it isn't *1. I really want to ask them.

J: Ahh, surely it is.

K: You can't say it isn't.

J: You can't.. But if you think its isn't...what isn't?!

T: People who think that it isn't, say that because they've never dated, they don't know each other well, and they might divorce quickly.

K: Oh, thats about afterwards.

T: Some concern was raised about that.

J: But I dated my wife for twenty years before marriage, and ended up getting divorced after two years. So just because you've been together for a while, it doesn't mean you won't get divorced.

T: Ahh, I see.

J: This type of thing can't be helped.

K: But thats normal, dating for a long time, getting married, and then ending up separating. It happens to a lot of people, right?

J: Yes.

T: But this Nakano san says, they've never held hands, they don't know each other's address, they don't live together..

J: But they got married?

T: Yes

K: The possibility of them separating seems high, but...

J: Right?

T: Yeah

K:..but, they can do what they want.

J: Yes, i think so. It sounds weird, but this also works as publicity.

T: Yeah

J: Almost like a risky stunt. Personally, I think its possible. But if one of them had the idea, and the other agreed to it, isnt it something to be thankful for?

T: Yeah, but apparently thier boss was really worried about it, he said they should have told him first. He booked a hotel suit room and shoved the two of them in there, but apparently nothing ended up happening.

J: Nothing happened?! People hearing this will want to know if they love each other.

Kami: I want to meet thier boss.

J: Oh, that? *laughs* A suite room is expensive right?

Kami: Yeh, I want to stay in a suite room.

*everyone laughs*

K: What would you do if you did stay in one?

Kami: If I did? Hmm, use the internet.

*laughing*

J: You can do that anyway! What about something more extravagant?

K: Like ordering room service or something.

Kami: I would order room service.

K: What would you order?

J: What would you eat, Kami?

Kami: Ramen

*laughing*

J: I don't think there are many people who would order ramen in a suite room.

K: It might actually be good though. Eating that kind of common food in that kind of place.

J: Eating something...

K: and just looking at the internet.

J: Just looking at the internet *laughs*

K: Its luxurious, right?

J: Exactly. Isn't it wasting the suite though?

T: Okay, lets look at another story. Its this story, it caused quite a stir. Sawajiri Erika...she was found to be in possession of drugs and had her first court appearance at the end of January. The entertainment world is in uproar concerning her early comeback, should she, shouldn't she?

Kami: She should.

J: I think so too.

T: Why? I'll ask you first, Joe.

J: Well, this is her first crime, so she probably won't get a prison sentence. I think it will be a suspended sentence. So, the idea behind a suspended sentence is to give you preparation time to get back to your normal life. Its important get back to your original life as much as possible.

T: I see

J: So, with a suspended sentence she will lose all of her tv sponsers and stuff, but its important for her to gain a platform back, for example, online or such. Now, if we talk about the situation in America, drug addicts are seen as ill people, not criminals, so they embark on a process of revovery, in order to quickly return to regular life. There's a feeling of, 'you're ill, so lets get you better'. Its felt that the worst thing to do, is to be alone with it. Leaving people in these situations is seen as bad. Getting people re-immersed in the community, and returned to normality as much as possible through social interaction, is how America deals with this. As to why America does this, its mainly cost, it costs money to treat people. They want to get people back out into the world quickly. Unlike the idea of severe punishments in Japan, America generally thinks in that way. My own view is very similar to that... We'll have to wait for the verdict. If she gets prison, theres nothing to be done, but if she gets a suspended sentence, she should try to return to her normal life as much as possible. On the other hand, once you've used drugs, you must be able to continue in a clean state, so you must also have the support around you to be able to stay clean.

T: I see, I see.

J: I think thats important.

T: Kami, what are your thoughts?

Kami: The same as Joe. There were no victims.

J: Yes, thats right. No one else was hurt by this.

T: An opposing opinion might be that, as a tv star, she might have a bad influence on young people. What would you say to that?

J: In that case,..well, i don't watch tv much, so I don't really know, but there are loads of scenes of people injecting stuff on talk shows or such, aren't there? Thats got to be more of a bad influence. I think people need to consider that more. Just because she appears on tv, it doesn't mean people are gonna start doing drugs.

K: Yeh, she isn't gonna do drugs on screen.

J: Yeah, rather, those scenes of syringes and stuff..

K: Yeh, the stuff on talk shows is more of a bad influence.

J: I think so.

T: So, in connection with this, what do you think about stopping the screening of movies etc which the person has starred in, which tends to happen at lot in the entertainment world..Joe san?

J: I can only describe it as nonsense. In the music world, it would be the withdrawal of records..., there is no meaning to it. Its totally separate from what they are expressing. As for music, no one ever talks about The Beatles' or The Rolling Stones' drug use. Thats a totally different issue...In relation to drugs, I think eradicating them is important, so for example, we could have a portion of that artist's sales being donated to organisations like DARC  (Drug Addiction Rehabilitation Center) in Japan, for example, which would be a good way to use them. I can't see any merit in just withdrawing thier works. If an artist returns to thier life, but is unable to be musically active, well, Tashio san is a good example of this *2, the places they can exist disappear gradually, and they become isolated. This is really sad. There's a possibility that leaving people in that isolated state can have a further negative influence, so there is no point in limiting the places people can work, or withdrawing thier works. I think Japan's management of this issue is problematic. In America, they don't arrest people for using drugs, they arrest the buyers and such, and thats what makes the news. But in Japan, you can see who's using drugs just by checking your phone. In particluar, famous people who use drugs are made into targets, to scare people, and to show how much your life will be ruined if you use drugs. It seems like its a kind of boosting of the zero tolerance policy which the Ministry of Health and Welfare introduced in the 1990s. It seems like that to me anyway.

Kami: Couldn't they make some kind of isolated place available, where its ok to do drugs?

T: Thats new.

J: Another novel idea from Kami.

K: Well, but yeah.

Kami: Because people who like drugs, will just like them.

J: I think so.

Kami: Yeh, so if you do that...because there are people who feel happier after taking medicine right?

J, T: Yeh.

Kami: Couldn't those type of people go to some place and be allowed to do it?

K: Without any crime occurring, right?

J: Right

T: Yeh, thats it.

Kami: No crime.

J: Well, i don't know if this is the appropriate way to express this, but in the case of drug dependence, its clear that the number one drug which causes mental and physical dependence is alcohol, rather than 'drugs'. You won't get arrested for alchol dependence, and the reason for that is because alcohol is legal. But incidents or fatal accidents cause by alcohol are ceaseless. There are a few incidents annually where someone murders after using drugs but, for example, as for people at the station falling onto to train lines, sixty percent of those are drunk, and many more people are killed by drunk drivers than drug addicts.

K: Well, its because there are many more people who drink alcohol.

J: Yes, the proportion is bigger. So if you consider these incidents in this way, they are certainly happening. In relation to drugs, there isn't really any logical explanation for them being illegal, but they are still strictly controled. Its a bit strange, but in America...well, it might be strange to always talk only about America, but the ban on cannabis, or medical cannabis has been lifted in America. In Japan, we have a situation where we can't even discuss such a thing, so I feel like it may be a bit of Galapagos syndrome....What do you think, Tasai san, about (Sawajiri's return)?

T: Well, she won't be able to eat, if she can't do tv work. From the viewers perspective, as long as its done appropriately..

K: Don't you need sponsers for tv though? So its not something she can really decide herself. But..on the stage or theater, if there are people who want to see her, I don't think it should be a problem.

T: Yeah

K: If there are people who say they don't want to see her on the airwaves, well, they are going to say that.

J: What do you think about her comeback, Kaoru?

K: Its completey fine to do it. Well, I mean she was doing a bad thing, but she has to carry on living. She could also find a different job, thats fine too.  As for returning to the entertainment world, well, i dont really know, but she should return to some kind of work as soon as she can.

J: Yes, thats it...It might be difficult in the entertainment world.

T: Right..Especially with sponsers.

Kami: Isn't that ok though?

K: Yeah, they'll use who they want.

Kami: Its only whether the sponser will use her or not, right? On tv?

J: On tv, yes.

Kami: If they have a reason to use her, they will.

J: But as Kaoru said, she might have more freedom on the stage or something. There must be something that only she can do, so it seems at waste to just kill off her talent.

Kami: If she herself decides to lay low for a while and self reflect on what she did, thats ok too. No one needs to tell her to. Now, i mention it, its the same with alcohol. If you drink too much and end up being late, you can self reflect and show remorse. If it was me i would deduct it from thier salary though.

J: *laughs* How fresh.

Kami: Its just a problem of whether or not they self reflect on it.

T: I see

K: Well, it depends on the circumstances of the person.

Kami: Yeh, in the end. Of course, drugs, but alcohol and cigarettes etc are all bad too, right? I really want to emphasise that. But at the same time, there are people who like them, who will use them anyway. As a result they will be punished by the law, and that will be enough. I think that should be a salary deduction, and then be finished with it. But your boss or someone might be mad at you *3

T: I see

J: Its like, I've had a deduction, so forget about it already.

T: So, that was Tokyo Sports' news.

J: Ahh, Oh! I wanted to ask you, who is it? Celebrity 'X', who is about to be arrested?

K: *laughs*

T: We'll put the news out to the whole world, so..

J: You'll find this if you search for Tokyo sports news, 'X'.

T: Oh, i can't tell you.

J: You can't? Damn

K: Kami might know.

J: He might.

K: But he's only a god for us three.

J:Yeh

K: Maybe he doesn't know.

J: He's not a worldly god.

Kami: I know who it is.

J: Oh, you know?

Kami: I know.

J: Kami, who is it?

T: Joe, don't ask that!

J, K: *laugh*

T: It'll be announced to the world...my account will be banned.

K: We need people to subscribe, right.

J: Yes yes yes yes.

K: Thank you very much, see you next time. Thank you.

J, T: Thank you

*1 It is or it isn't/they are or they aren't, or that type of thing.

*2 No idea who this is.

*3 Not 100% about what he means here.

[wollfling]

Hi Allie! I wondered if I could ask you for some advice. I want to draw really badly and create art but I really don't have any skill! I know that in order to get better at art I have to actually do it, but I feel so overwhelmed by how I'm not where I want to be with it right away, and also with where to start with learning to draw. Do you ever feel that way when you draw? And if you do how have you gotten past it?

[I am literally so sorry this is so long oh my God. My mind has been very jumbled lately so I accidentally rambled too much, but I hope it still helps you in any way orz] Oh sweet little anon.. ;^; I do feel that way, a lot of the time if not all of the time! Just recently this week, I felt like I just couldn't draw despite picking up my pencil and scribbling, it just wasn't working partly for that exact reason! Overwhelmed by not being where I want to be with it! These things happen and its frustrating. It's hard for me to imagine as a beginner artist because I've been drawing since I can remember but I will still do my best to offer you some meaningful advice!

But first, to answer your very last question, getting past it can be a little random sometimes. This whole week after being unable to draw, I was laying in bed trying to sleep while reflecting on some heavy feelings ive been having and memories. Suddenly part of an image flashed in my mind and I got up to immediately try drawing it. (The drawing I recently posted and captioned "parade"!) I worked on it completely driven by my heart, and so it didn't matter at the time if it looked good or was anatomically correct, etc. Right now I am working on another heart-driven drawing, but if I tried to work on lets say a study or character drawing instead.. I dont think i could!

My point in all this is that, I think that its important to know/understand why you want to create art, and I think my advice would change slightly depending on your answer. For me personally, I am an emotional artist. I create art that (usually) reflects how I'm feeling or topics I am emotionally drawn to. Illustrations, drawing characters, writing comics, etc.. I think this week, while I'm definitely struggling with my skill level, I was so burdened by some things I've been feeling lately that I couldn't focus on or enjoy anything that I was trying to create, until I was able to release it all in a drawing. (And I'm still not done with them hence why I am now working on another related drawing, but im making SOMETHING and feeling passionate which cannot be said with any of my other attempts this week.) So since these drawings purpose outweigh my current issues regarding my skill, I am able to work on them. If that makes sense?

Okay im sorry with how long-winded this all is so far and all about myself orz but I wanted to give context on how I view art and I think if you asked someone who creates like. Hyperrealistic drawings their answers would be completely different. So! I wanted you to be able to judge if my advice would work for you if that makes any sense at all...!!! Moving on to my actual advice then..!

This is a little general ofc because I dont know what sort of art you are creating, or what your passion behind it is. And if after this you would like to tell me more about your art I would love to hear! 🥺💗 you are welcome to dm me or if you send another anon/ask i think that would be good too since.. well other artists who see can also give their own advice too!

Okay. So anyways lol, first I want to tell you that your desire to create art makes you an artist, despite your skill level. And therefore, everything and anything that you make even now has value. Even if right now you're drawing wonky shaded spheres and cubes! I understand its frustrating when wanting to make something but you feel like your skill isn't "there" and how that can prevent you from making anything to begin with!! But I really want you to try and work through it! Ignore it, disregard it, give your worries about your skill the silent treatment!! And I know its near impossible to do but if its getting in the way of you actually creating well.. thats the worst! We can't have that. If you really want to draw, then you really NEED to draw, you know what I mean? You deserve to draw! The hardest part for like 80% of artists is working around their skill level. I promise you will get there, but for now, you can't let it get in your way. And I realize me saying "oh you feel like you're not good at drawing and its hindering you from doing it? Just do it" sounds like Chad advice but ;---; unfortunately its the reality that comes with being an artist. If you tell me more about what you like to/why you want draw then maybe we can find some alternate lines of thinking that will help you (for example "this tiger i drew looks like shit but drawing all of her stripes was therapeutic and made it worth it!" If lets say you draw as a stim, opposed to "this tiger im drawing looks so bad I can't even look at it anymore " dhsjhd I really hope that this all makes sense lol.)

Moving on, learning how to draw.. this also depends on what you enjoy drawing but my main piece of advice here is study from real life. I grew up drawing cartoons and anime, and now that I want to draw a little more realistically.. its so hard!! If you study real shapes/people/animals/etc it might be easier later on when you understand fundamentals to bend them if you decide to create stylized or surreal art. However if right now you like to draw stylized art, I would recommend to keep working on your personal style while studying from real life on the side simultaneously! Any way you look at it, understanding how shapes, lighting, colour, etc work in the real world will help you out even with the most obscure pieces. And since art is a learned skill yknow you need to build those brain..pathways..and such. Im not a scientist but you get what i mean. Studies are the equivalent to lifting weights! I would recommend the website quickposes (com) they have a library of images that they throw at you at random. The site can explain itself better than I can lmao, check it out!!!

I really hope i was able to offer you something of value here, I didnt mean to ramble so much. I'm excited for you to grow as an artist, I love when I hear about others deciding to learn how to draw ;-; please feel welcome to ask for any clarification (as im having a hard time articulating my thoughts lately) or if you really just want to ask or say anything! ♡♡♡ again sorry if this was more than you bargained for length wise dhsishskshksj

[veeranger]

Thoughts on Halo Reach's plot and best to worst noble team members?

you know ive actually been a lot more critical towards reach lately because i think it fails on the biggest thing it advertised: noble team. characters have never really been the strong suit of bungie’s writing (idk who destiny is so dont @ me) and while this isnt usually a major issue, it is an issue when a game wants to sell you on this squad of your teammates it wants you to care about or at least be fond of. ODST and Reach both have a cast of characters that could be really interesting but since halo is a shooter and not really a storytelling kinda game series all they really get are a few lines here and there and some cool moments, nothing really solid or anything to get a glimpse at who they are. maybe thats kinda the point though since spartans are all fucked up broken people like inherently. i dont think thats why bungie did that though

as for reach’s actual plot, i think it works well for what it is, a playable tragedy that tells you the conclusion up front. halo fans who are any level above completely casual knew that reach got completely glassed right before the start of halo ce and the advertising of this was very clear. the fact that you’ve never heard of spartan 3′s or noble team before was a pretty clear indicator of what their fates would be before you even turned on your xbox. the game literally opens with your smashed helmet embedded in the ground as a tombstone to your inevitable heroic sacrifice. reach invokes the same kind of feeling as star wars rogue one, you just know things wont end well for our main characters but you know that their deaths will pave the way for the main series protagonist to eventually win the whole damn thing 3 games/movies from now. 

so even with this in mind you go through reach and you think “wow things are going pretty well, we’re holding out own against the covies and even striking back at key targets” and maybe you forget whats going to happen or you dont and you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop. and boy fucking howdy does it drop. jorge dies thinking he just saved reach and as you fall through the atmosphere you realize how hopelessly fucked you are. thats where the game enters its second phase, the “we’re fucked but still fighting” phase, as opposed to the first half of the game where things were still somewhat hopeful. noble six wakes up like a week later to half the planet burning and civilians being slaughtered as they try to evac. the first level of the second half of the game features you busting your ass hard to clear an evac point for civilians only to see them all get shot down and die. its brutal stuff, especially for halo who had never shown the conflict though that lense. 

what follows is a parade of squadmate deaths as your numbers dwindle with every level until its just you and emile, and then just you. unlike in rogue one you actually aren’t immediately told what the key item in this quest is, in this case its cortana, the equivalent to the death star plans in rogue one, the most important thing in the universe since cortana will be the one to slipspace jump to halo 04 and kick off a series of events that will lead to the survival of humanity. but once you get this item suddenly it all makes sense, carter is told this is “what his spartans died for” and to you that means a lot more than it ever would to him. 

reach ends with a profoundly impactful epilogue level where you just. are doomed. you can’t hold out forever and even if you could there’s no rescue coming for you. noble six gave their life to save the universe and never even knew it. the fact that their death isnt a cutscene but you actually yourself have to try to stave off death or just take as many elites with you as you can before they get you, it really adds so much to the impact of the final noble team death. nevermind that six isnt a real character it does work in this case because you’re seeing it from a first person perspective.

so overall my thoughts on reach is that despite the major flaw of not making you care enough about noble team (unless you do, this is my personal view) it does its job very well in portraying the desperate struggle of humanity against a threat that they cannot possibly comprehend or rightfully stand up against, but despite devastating loss the small victories they achieved still ended up mattering in the end. 

now as for noble team i wont do a best to worst but ill give my thoughts on everyone

carter: hardass commander type, not much to say imo. his death scene was his best moment and i wish his relationship with kat had been fleshed out more because it was so so funny to see her pull his strings to get what she wants. you can tell he has the respect of everyone, especially emile. 

kat: the only girl! i actually like cat, im glad they gave her a buzzcut instead of trying to make her sexy or anything even if they did give her that ass in her armor. shes the typical smartass better than you genius character but it works, especially with that accent. i wish i could be friends with her, there was that scene right before she died where she confided in six that this was also her first glassing. her death was kind of shock value to me and i wish she could have at least died with a little more dignity like the rest of noble team but alas :(

jun: probably my least favorite. i cant really remember much of this guy. he’s the only one who got to live and i kind of hate him for that because he was the least interesting of the bunch. 

emile: certainly the most iconic of all the noble spartans. he comes off as sadistic but not a maniac, he listens to carter when he speaks and is on good terms with kat even through his obvious inability to really connect to other people. this is certainly because of the fact that he’s a spartan-3, he’s probably the most “inhuman” of the bunch. i wish his relationship with jorge was given a little more, i liked how despite his pushing jorge early in the game he still mourned his death, and yet refused to carry his dogtags because he knew six was the one who was entrusted with them. his death was very iconic i think everyone remembers that. 

jorge: the big man himself, his death is what set the tone for the second half of the game and was probably pretty impactful to most people playing. i always thought it was interesting that he was a spartan-2 and not a 3 like the rest of noble, i wonder why that was. his relationship with halsey was interesting and it showed that not all spartans hated the devil woman for what she did to them. his defining characteristic was his big heart and that was especially interesting for a spartan-2, that he managed to hold onto something like that through all the shit he probably went through. 

[plainvanillapotato]

the 100 diaries S2 E5

quarantine diaries: may 28 2020

season 2 episode 5: “Human Trials”

i guess a mother always recognizes her daughter even through all that dirt. ngl i cant help but think about how much clarke stinks. Literally was in a pile of bodies and was covered in blood and mud. yet her mother is there hugging and kissing her. 

side note: what if clarke was just a salty bitch and the first thing she said to abby was ‘im still not talking to you. because do you remember when you killed dad?’ i would die  

i love how they are flipping this stereotype of mountain men as in you know how we generally associate mountain people/hillbilly’s as poor uneducated lower class citizens but in this show it’s the opposite. im pretty sure this wasn’t intentional tho. i just watch the documentary “hillbilly” it’s just been on my mind recently

wow kane be doing the important work out here planing a tree. rebuild the ecosystem. side note is climate change/global warming still an issue in this universe or nah?

clarke you just escaped mount weather, survived being hunted alive, survived that fight with anya, survived being shot at. all within a day?! you need to rest. but i guess if you have solar radiation blood you just operate at a different level

bellamy!!! with a new girl around his arm and wearing bellamy’s jacket

nvm. its back to bellamy and clarke. that hugg was like....ok i feel it. i feel the zutara energy. octavia even ships it. but her eye also be saying ‘bitch if you hurt him i swear...’

i swear if finn dies before reuniting with clarke. this show would tho. or like clarke find finn in his final moments

what tf are they doing to lincoln?!

why the hell is bryne in this meeting? is she not going to face any repercussions for shooting at two innocent kids one of whom she killed?! you cant just shoot and kill innocent people without facing consequences? (let me remind you abby was lashed 10 times for less) im not going to get deep into this rn because this blog was not meant for this stuff and i know this show takes place in a different time but with everything that is going on right now in the u.s. i just have to say that pulling out a gun and shooting a person should not be an automatic response and police abusing their power, abusing their authority is not okay.

bellamy bringing up some good points. fight abby! run away with clarke!!

now would have been a good time to bring up your father clarke but maybe shes just waiting to use that one.

raven is the real one with the guns and electrical fence. why was it so easy to escape the camp. like too easy.

maya causing a rift between monty and jaspers. noooo! did we not learn from what happened with Octavia?

maya and the radiation. a bit much. how does this show keep out doing themselves. scene after scene. just when you think that it is safe.

jasper really is a simp giving that blood. octavia? jasper doesnt know her. 

clarke’s face when bellamy told her that finn killed for her. she was like ‘wow. really. i love him more now.’ i know it wasnt meant to be taken this way but clarkes doey eyes don’t lie. 

finn really just threw some fire into the villages whole food supply. woah finn is going crazy here. he really just turned this into a hostage situation. i guess when you hang out with murphy you turn into murphy.

“this one is thoroughbred.” a thoroughbred of what? the British Royal Line? i swear if they tell me that lincoln is a descendant of queen Elizabeth ill die (if you’re wondering about my thought process on this...the best explanation i can give you are those memes about queen Elizabeth being immortal)

monty out here asking the right questions. monty straight up put his hands and sat down. staying right by his friend’s side. we stan a loyal king. monty really shined in this scene. you have to agree. this is my favorite moment of the show thus far.

abby slapped a one legged girl. abby she is a kid and you is an adult. yeah abby just lost some points in my book.

preach raven preach. yeah these kids loss their sense of innocence a looooong time ago. get with the program abby

jaha and kane reunited!! I guess my ship hasn’t been sunk yet. but also wasnt he just in the desert?

woooow this is full on hostage situation? is finn gonna go full anakin? and just embrace the dark side?

murphy suddenly a good guy?? 

now lincoln is a drugy? waht?

also what with the veins on these mountain people. please tell me they’re vampires and thats the real reason they don’t go to the outside in the sun. plus all the blood transfusions a bit suspicious if you ask me

aahh daddy. nepotism. fun fact about me absolutely no one asked for: “nepotism” is one of my favorite office episodes

but also that son be looking like he don’t listen to daddy. i swear the son is gonna turn on him. bet.

yep finn really killed kids and woman. this boy went full anakin. but i guess the writers be planting this plot point: spacewalker more like skywalker. yes this is a dumb theory but what if this is what the writers were actually thinking when they wrote finns character...

finn out did himself. i think he has highest body count out of all those from the 100. i think the real turning point in his character development was when he killed that reaper in the mines with clarke. it was right there and then that the knew he was willing to kill for clarke and hes not just gonna stop now. love really makes people do crazy things. big yikes when clarke caught him in the act. but ofc the show would have clarke appear 5 minutes finn goes ballistic. 

but also finn is joe from you. literally doing the most for the one he loves even tho his love never asked for any of it. and not feeling that bad about it. the boy literally massacred a village but the first thing he says to clarke is “i found you” ...yeah finn really did a 180 in the worst way possible

side note: to anyone who thinks im being hypocritical about bryne/the guard and finn. let me remind you that finn is a kid whose brain has not fully developed. he also has been through a lot shit since since being sent to earth so he is bound to be unstable. now im not saying that finn doesnt deserves any repercussions because believe me i do. i will get mad if he faces no consequences. but the fact of the matter is that byrne and the guard, people who are entrusted with power and authority cannot just abuse their power and authority shooting at random on the whim that anyone and anything is a threat.

[msujieun]

whaaat? ali again? yes... it’s me.. while byul was dying (rip), i’ve been working on reviving one of my old muses, jung jieun. she’s 22 years old and a sophomore in hwaseong! also on the quidditch team, captain of the archery team and in the art club. she might not seem like your most typical hwaseong on the surface? i guess? but deep down.. she is hwaseong

i have a profile set up for her here, and a bio. i... do not have a plots page yet. there will be some ideas under the cut though and brainstorming is always cool & sexy. anyhoo, if you’d like to plot something with miss jieun, don’t hesitate to smash that like button, and i’ll hit you up here or on discord! (eventually... everyone must know by now that i am chronically slow). and for a quick summary of her, there’s more info under the cut! 

22 / hwaseong / sophomore / fashion design major / feminist studies minor 

quidditch chaser / archery team / art club 

born and raised in busan. grew up with her muggle mother and no other family. doesn’t know who her father is, he might be a wizard and he might not be. who knows! 

her mother has... very little money. so jieun didn’t have a lot growing up. but she had her mom and that was enough <3

never felt like she fit in at school, she couldn’t explain why but she felt like she was different from the other kids. was very much a loner first half of her childhood

well surprise surprise she turned out to be a witch! fit much better in at unnamed korean wizarding school, made some very good friends n all that good stuff

kind of a troublemaker while growing up.. she doesn’t look like she’d be one but she has trouble trusting anyone that’s not her mother and has a particular distaste for authority sooooo she got in trouble a bunch for talking back to teachers and disrupting class 

wanted to go straight to mokseong after she finished school but couldn’t afford it :( her mom had put away some money for it but was not enough.. so she prepared to work for a year or two to save up even more money 

TW FOR MENTIONS OF DEATH/CAR ACCIDENT/DRUNK DRIVING. a few weeks after she graduated the worst thing happened... her mother was the victim of a huge car accident where a drunk driver had lost complete control over the car. she died on the way to the hospital :( jieun felt like her life ended bc her mom was the most important person to her, but she didn’t let her mother’s death keep her down for long bc he knew her mom would’ve wanted her to keep going and do whatever she can to achieve her dreams. END OF TW

and so she kept working!! and eventually!! she could start attending msu!! so now she’s here!! yay!!!!

PLOT IDEAS

ok i’m like extremely bad at coming up with general plot ideas but... here are a few things!! the ideas might not be very good but pls love her regardless <3 

someone she helps with clothes / hair! she’s not the most open person though so she’s not willing to help out just anyone but if they’re a friend she’ll help!!

despite feeling like she fits in better in the wizarding world, she’s not the best at magic so someone who helps her?? maybe they’re determined to bring some useful spells into her every day routine cuz she keeps just doing everything the muggle way mostly

quidditch rivalries... friendly or unfriendly... up for both

fellow members of archery / art

a man hits on her... she Will threaten violence

someone who keeps running into jieun when they’re about to get into trouble and she keeps helping them try to cover it up before a prefect catches them

she got some major trust issues so maybe someone she kinda dated but then things got too real and she just suddenly cut things off or went ghost

idk.... thats all i got rn..... pls love her