#and struggling with the idea that maybe it'll always be like this for the rest of my life. just a constant state of unwell.

[queridaz]

listened to a song i loved in high school when i was in a bad place for the first time in years and started crying. it really does get better. it did get better.

[night-raven-tattler]

Love beyond spoken words - part 2

Summary: Everyone has a way of saying "I love you" without using those three words.

Characters: Jamil, Rook, Idia, Sebek × GN!Reader (separate, romantic)

Other parts of the series: Ace, Jack, Azul

Warnings: none

By opening the document, you agree to Mx Tattly's terms of source confidentiality.

-ˋˏ’✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

Jamil was going through his personalised version of the stages of grief while stacking away the boxes of expensive fabric Kalim brought from Silk City that he promised to give to Professor Crewel

Without his knowledge, as always

But this time wasn't too bad, since you were there to help him with the boxes

And he quite enjoyed your company, so the opportunist in him simply refused to deny himself of you when you kindly offered to lend him a helping hand

He even offered you one of his hair ties when your hair kept falling on your face

You knew Jamil had a certain possesiveness over his personal belongings, so you couldn't help but feel a bit flustered at the offer

You still accepted the hair tie, however

After your finished putting the boxes away, Grim came into the room looking for you because the Headmage requested your help with some errand

And you didn't get the chance to hand Jamil his hair tie back

Jamil was surprised by how little it bothered him that his hair tie was with you; instead of being upset you took something from him like he expected he'd feel, he was somewhat glad you had something of his with you

...Maybe it was silly, it was just a hair tie after all

Yet, it almost made him feel like he was claiming you in some way-

A thought so embarassing he had to cover his whole face with his hoodie

He was walking in the hallways with Kalim as his Housewarden talked about The Great Seven know what, when Kalim suddenly stopped himself mid-rant and fished something out of his pocket

"I totally forgot! Reader bumped into me today and told me to give this to you!"

It was a small paper bag with a snake doodled on it

Jamil snatched it from Kalim, not wanting him to hold something from you any longer, and opened the bag

Inside he found a little note and two hair ties: the one he gave you, and another one that had a small charm with your favorite symbol on it

"I know you don't like when people use your things, so I wanted to give it back. I also gave you one of mine so take care of it!"

He didn't understand the logic behind you giving him your own hair tie, but he took the bag from you and hid it carefully in his pocket, where he occasionally let his hands rest throughout the day

Jamil was very curious about your little offering, so he asked you about it over text

"I wanted to offer it to you as an apology for holding onto your stuff for too long so you won't be mad at me."

Your goody-two-shoes silly logic made him chuckle

As he was about to playfully scold you for your thinking, he saw another chat bubble coming from you that made him drop his phone

"...besides, is it really that bad that I wanted you to have something of mine too?"

Cheeks burning with fluster, he texted you a quick goodnight before he put his phone onto his nightstand, face down so not even the inanimate object could see him like this

Jamil struggled with the idea of you wanting to leave your mark on him, the same selfish idea he carried in his heart

Yet, he didn't mind either of your selfishness

That's why you found Jamil's hair tie under your desk first thing in the morning, a small note attached to it

"If I will have to carry something that belongs to you with me, it wouldn't be fair if you didn't do the same."

『••✎••』

You were enjoying your break outside when you heard a sharp object hit the tree you were leaning against, and based on the piece of paper attached to it, someone special wanted to tell you something

"My love, a whisper

My arrow, a listener

A most blessed messenger

It'll seek your heart to alter

For your blush I'm after."

Your degree in the language of Rook Hunt told you several things: 1. He was on a mission to live up to his name and hunt for your heart... or something

And 2. He really liked his "arrow of love" metaphors

Rook also was likely very amused by how on the nose he was being by sending you love poems via arrow aimed at your surroundings

It happened often enough for you to become unable to differenciate between the quickening pace of your heart from the spook and the one from knowing your boyfriend wanted to remind you of his love for you

Rook had some questionable ways of making your heart skip a beat, and it was borderline annoying how good he was at getting what he wanted

Something about the message itself was a bit off to you

Wasn't counterproductive for a hunter to let its prey know that he was after it?

You never knew what Rook was about to do next, and your heartbeat quickened once again with anticipation for his next move

...which happened soon enough

If the Headmage knew of the arrow currently stuck to your door and damaging the school property, you'd be in trouble

You just wanted to rest peacefully after your classes, but it seemed like Rook had other plans

"My eyes give gentle kisses to your heart

I want to read you, I want to learn you

The world in your chest, your own flow of art

Painted in the loveliest of hues."

You looked around, suddenly overwhelmed with the feeling of being watched

At this point you were convinced he was toying with you, like a cat after it caught a mouse

But Rook had plans other than to harm you...

He enjoyed the chase, maybe a bit at the expense of your heart, which would jump out of your chest at every over the top declaration of love

You could think of only one way to somewhat get back at him

The vice housewarden was scribbling in his notebook at his desk when he heard footsteps nearing his room, followed by a knock at the door

He smiled and opened the door, revealing your flustered self, fidgeting with a piece of paper in your hands

"Roses are red

You look very merry

I'm not good at writing poems

So just kiss me already."

Rook's eyes widened for a few seconds before he burst into a delighter laughter as he wrapped his arms around you

You thought his over the top affection was what affected you the most, but you were so wrong

All along, it was the little things that made your heart explode

His laughter and the beating of your heart were the only melody echoing in your ears, while your face was being admired by Rook's lovesick eyes

"As you wish, mon amour."

『••✎••』

When you and Idia started dating, you knew he was a peculiar guy

He texted you "good morning" at 5 P.M., he liked to tease you about your grades and wishing the school system was digitalized so he could hack into the school and modify your grades, and he liked gifting you small, cute robots that he built during his sleepless nights

You were dedicated to peel off every layer of your angsty, dramatic, onion of a lover and try to understand his ways of showing he cares about you

Unfortunately, the first obstacle you had to face was his way of texting you

Idia was both a genius and a smartass: he liked sending you secret messages through emojis, but he'd never give you any hint to help you decode them

You rolled your eyes as his favorite combo of emojis popped onto your screen through the notification of your messaging app

"➡️👤🛠️👆💙➡️🤪"

You suspected he either liked testing your abilities to decypher his code, or he was to afraid to outright say what he felt

It's not like Idia was shy in his affections, as peculiar as they were

It was more like he was... hesitant

Afraid, even

"I will take that as a compliment"

You watched as the chat bubble appeared on your screen, carrying Idia's reply

"whehehe did you really look at a code with unknown meaning and assumed it was positive? lmaooooo"

Both of you knew he wouldn't do that

Not because he wasn't capable of it, but because Ortho would threaten to scratch up his P.E. gear again

"Not my fault you sent me code instead of telling me how pretty we both know you think I am"

"oooooo someone's confident 💘💘💘💘"

Well, at least that one was easy enough to decypher

The code Idia sent to you always came out of nowhere, like a sudden stream of thoughts that he couldn't keep to himself

It was sweet, really, and it wasn't like you disliked his little codes

Being a gamer at heart, Idia loved games, and they were an important part of him

If Idia needed some sort of puzzle to express himself, you decided to play along

You were determined to wait until Idia became able to tell you outright how he felt

Maybe one day

That's what Idia also told himself as he stared at the sentence he kept typing and deleting over and over in your conversation

"you make my heart go wild"

Maybe one day...

『••✎••』

"And, because of General Zephyrus, royal green has become a color in Briar Valley that represents sentiments of love and affection for your beloved. It was historically used in clothing during duels by the partner that was not participating..."

You had no idea what you did to receive a special history lesson from Professor Zigvolt himself, but you loved Sebek so you listened to him attentively

It was one of the rare occasions in which he was not talking about Malleus, and it was almost cute to see how worked up he got for topics outside of his guard duty

Not like he wasn't always cute

"Are you even listening, human?!"

...You were not stupid enough to admit you kind of spaced out a little

"Yeah, you were talking about, uh... Something about green clothes?"

Sebek raised his eyebrow and watched you suspiciously, while you were trying not to avoid his piercing gaze and tell on yourself

"... Well, yes. It was a tradition for unmarried partners to express their love through green accessories, such as scarves and..."

Even if he seemed upset on the surface, Sebek was more than eager to share part of his culture with you

The way he'd get so animated about his homeland, his liege, his passions...

You could watch him all day

Unfortunately, the bell indicating the end of your break had the both of you part ways

Before Sebek walked away, he reminded you of the equestrian club's upcoming show jumping competition against Royal Sword Academy

And before he could shily request your presence, you told him you'll be there, and sent his blushy self back to his classes

You didn't want to just be there and attend, however: you wanted to show your appreciation for Sebek

And you remembered his little rant about green accessories as showcases of love in Briar Valley

Which brought you to Sam's the next day, where you bumped into Lilia

Lucky for you, since you couldn't remember which shade of green was the one Sebek was talking about...

Your eyes fell upon a light green scarf, resembling the trademark Diasomnia green, and asked Lilia if this color was good to wear

Lilia's eyes widened before his face twisted into a mischievous grin before he agreed with your choice

So you wrapped it around your wrist the day of the competition and made sure it was as easy to spot as possible

Sebek was warming up with his horse when he spotted you in the growing crowd...

...And you watched him as he almost fell off his horse when he saw the scarf wrapped around the hand you were waving at him with

You watched how he debated between going to you and resuming his warmup for what felt like an eternity, but the beginning of the competition was announced so he settled on talking to you later

On his first break, he marched right to you, red as a tomato and vaguely resembling a broken traffic light

"HUMAN! I can't believe you would do this in such a public setting without telling me first! In Briar Valley it's custom for the knight to wrap the scarf around their desired partner after the duel to signal their engagement! Was my lecture not clear enough?!"

You were used to Sebek getting randomly agitated about stuff but-

-Wait.

"ENGAGEMENT?!"

Sebek turned even redder, something you thought was impossible

"YES?! Light green is a sign of engagement!"

You head was full of questions upon questions

Did you just publicly more or less propose to Sebek?

And he was mad because you didn't tell him beforehand, not because of the accidentally proposal itself?!

Now you wanted a horse to fall off of

[joelmillerisapunk]

Without Warning

Dbf!Joel Miller x f!reader

Masterlist

Wordcount: 959

Summary: You find yourself in an unexpected situation with Joel, your family's friend, and longtime acquaintance. But when the dust settles, you're left wondering if things will ever be the same between you two again. Will you be able to move past this moment, or will it forever change your relationship with Joel?

Warnings: 18+, creepyish!Joel, non/dub-con but reader agrees, implied age gap (but make it your own), Joel manipulating you, m!handjob, no physical reader description, use of baby and babygirl, I wrote this so fast this morning so it's only been quickly glanced over.

Notes: I saw a show once with a similar part with two grown men that left me thinking about writing this for a long time. DONT LOOK AT ME 🫣 but I hope you enjoyyyy

Joel's truck pulls up to the parking spot, and you eagerly hop in. He's been so helpful since your family moved in next door, picking you up from and dropping you off to your college classes.

Joel has a certain charisma about him, even if his cockiness sometimes grates on your nerves. Nevertheless, his companionship is usually always welcome.

As always, you find yourself engaging in casual banter before taking off for home when the mood suddenly shifts and Joel's expression turns solemn, his gaze fixed ahead. "You know, I've been feelin' pretty lonely lately," he confesses.

Curious, you arch an eyebrow. "Lonely? Why's that?"

Joel's shoulders lift in a nonchalant shrug, but his eyes betray a hint of vulnerability. "It's been a while since I've had any - female companionship, you could say."

A heat creeps up your neck as you process his words. "Oh. I see."

Joel glances at you. "Huh, you know, I never thought about it, but you're all grown up now darlin’. Maybe you could help me out.”

Your heart races, caught off guard by the unexpected turn in the conversation. "What... what do you mean?"

Leaning closer, Joel's hand finds its way to your thigh, his touch sends a jolt of electricity through you. "I mean, maybe you could, you know, help me out," he murmurs, his breath warm against your ear.

Swallowing hard, you struggle to find your voice amidst the rush of emotions swirling inside you. "Joel, I don't know if that's a good idea."

But Joel merely chuckles, and his confidence is unshakeable. "Come on. I won't tell anyone, babygirl. And it's not like you don't find me attractive, right?"

You can't deny it - Joel is handsome, in a rugged, grizzled way. And he's always been so kind to you and your family. But this is a big step.

Joel's hand is still resting on your thigh, and he gives it a gentle squeeze as he looks at you with pleading eyes. "Please, babygirl. I really need this. And I promise, it'll just be this one time. I won't ask for anything else, I swear."

You can feel the weight of his gaze on you, and you know that he's not going to take no for an answer. You hesitate for a moment, your mind racing with thoughts and doubts. But then you take a deep breath and nod. "Okay. But, just this once."

Joel grins, then reaches down and unzips his pants. You swallow hard as his hand guides yours and wraps it around his stiff length.

As you start to stroke him, Joel lets out a low moan. "Yeah, that's it. Just like that."

You continue to stroke his growing cock, feeling a strange mix of excitement and disbelief. This is really happening. You're really jerking off Joel Miller.

“Fuck babygirl, you ever done this before?”

All you can do is shake your head. You can't seem to find the words for anything right now.

"Goddamn, you're so good at this," Joel groans, his hips thrusting upward as you continue to stroke him. "Can't believe this is your first time. You're a natural."

Suddenly, Joel reaches down and places his hand over yours, guiding your movements. "Yeah, just like that, baby. S'good," he groans, his hips thrusting upward in time with your strokes. "Goddamn you're so fuckin' hot."

You do your best to follow his instructions, tightening your grip and stroking him faster. Joel lets out a loud moan of pleasure, his body tensing as he gets closer to his release.

"You like that? You like making me feel good, dont'cha?" Joel murmurs.

You nod, feeling a mix of excitement and embarrassment at his words.

“You're so fucking sexy. I could come just from lookin at you," Joel groans. "Fuck, m'gonna come, babygirl. Are you ready for it?" Joel asks, his voice tight with pleasure.

You nod again, feeling nervous as you anticipate his climax.

"Oh, here it comes. Fuck!" Joel groans, his body shaking with the force of his release. You try to pull your hand away but Joel holds it tight around his weeping cock, guiding your slowed strokes as he lets his warm seed trickle down your hand. When he's content you quickly withdraw your hand, feeling a mix of relief and guilt as you watch him come down from his high.

Joel leans back in his seat, panting heavily, his eyes fixated on you. "Mmm, that was amazing, babygirl. You have such a talented hand."

There's something about the way he's looking at you, like he's undressing you with his eyes. "I knew you'd be good at that," Joel continues, his voice low and sultry. "You're such a quick learner, just like I thought you'd be."

His words send a chill down your spine, and you can't shake the feeling that something isn't quite right. You try to brush it off, reminding yourself that Joel is your family's friend and that he would never do anything to hurt you.

You feel embarrassed. "I, I'm glad you enjoyed it."

Joel reaches over and squeezes your hand. "I mean it. You're somethin' special darlin."

Joel tucks himself back in and starts the truck, driving you home in silence.

When you finally arrive at your house, you can't get out of the truck fast enough. Joel's gaze lingers on you for a moment too long.

"Thanks for the ride, Joel," you say, your voice tight with unease.

"Anytime, babygirl," Joel replies, his voice still low and sultry. "I'll see you around."

As you walk away, Joel calls after you. "Hey. Don't forget to wash your hands!"

[blitzwhore]

I really really hope we get to see how Blitz and Millie met.

She's always so lenient with him when he oversteps her and Moxxie's boundaries, always so chill around Blitz no matter how unhinged he gets. And the more I rewatch the show, the more I feel like the reason she's so chill might be she knows things about Blitz the others (and maybe even we the audience) don't.

It makes sense that the way they met affects how she sees him, too, because we already know how the way Moxxie and Loona met Blitz impacted their relationships. Moxxie was at his lowest point in life, with no friends, family or partner he could trust; a victim of abuse and a member of a mafia he knew nobody outside of. And in prison, on top of it all. And just when he was about to give into despair, Blitz showed him sympathy and took him under his wing. So now, even though they bicker and get on each other's nerves, Moxxie does show that he appreciates Blitz (for example, in Truth Seekers after their bad trips). The same is true for Loona, who everyone had given up on, but who Blitz took in as well. Even if she complains about his displays of affection, she constantly gives him small smiles and softens around him, and takes care of him, like after Bee's party.

From what we know, Millie had a pretty good family life before she joined IMP. Unlike the rest of the IMP crew, she doesn't seem to have a horribly traumatic past. So, while there could be more that we don't know, it doesn't seem likely that her appreciation toward Blitz comes from him taking her under his wing when she was at a low point, the way he did Loona and Moxxie.

So I can't help but wonder if the opposite could be true. If maybe she met Blitz at a low point in his life—low enough that he couldn't keep his facade around her. There are theories going around that Millie could've been Loona's babysitter (the one Blitz mentions when he meets Moxxie). I don't know if it'll turn out that way, but I do like the mental image of Millie meeting Blitz at the very beginning of his parenting journey, desperate to fight for the humanity and the well-being of this extremely violent and unhinged 18-year-old girl. Desperate enough to hire a babysitter for an 18-year-old. I wonder if, maybe, one of the first things Millie learned about Blitz was just how desperately he wanted to be the adult role model and caregiver that Loona needed. I wonder if she saw him taking Loona's violence over and over, and still not giving up on her; not just that, but giving Loona the only bedroom in his flat and sleeping on the sofa every night just so she could have her space to decompress and feel safe. I wonder if, at some point, Blitz broke down and told Millie how scared he was of being a bad dad, or of Loona deserving someone better than him.

I just love the idea of Millie being this completely chill and functional young adult, and Blitz being this struggling 30-year-old dude who clearly cares so deeply and feels so inadequate that his whole life is a massive trainwreck.

So now, whenever Millie witnesses Blitz being overbearing and obnoxious and over-the-top, she immediately recognises it as an act, and understands that it's his way of communicating appreciation and seeking connection, which he can't do in other ways because he doesn't think he deserves those things.

Idk man. I just hope we get to see more of Blitz and Millie. I just think their interactions are neat.

[moodymisty]

I'm so happy your requests are open. I had two ideas, so please choose whichever appeals to you and have fun! :)

The reader is a jeweler who makes all kinds of pretty things for the nobles of Terra. Vulkan sees their work at court and is enthralled by the craftsmanship. For all his prowess at the forge, gold smithing and jewelry aren't things that he's skilled at. So he comes to the reader to ask her to teach him. It's such an honor to have a primarch ask so nicely to learn from her, the reader can hardly say no. As they work together and talk, emotions start to develop, and maybe Vulkan can even show the reader how much he appreciates her taking the time to teach him. ;)

Or

The reader is an informant for the Alpha Legion. Alpharius and/or Omegon decide that it'll improve morale and encourage the reader to work harder if they show her personally how much they appreciate the effort she's been putting in. Of course, their idea may involve some minor kidnapping and hot sex, because what better way to ensure the reader does her best than to get her addicted to their bodies?

Author's note: Here's a quick snippet, I hope you enjoy <3

Relationships: Vulkan/Gn!Reader

Warnings: None

"Perhaps one day I will make something as perfect as yours," Vulkan jokes, wrapping the necklace around your neck.

It is perfect, at least in your eyes; You'd struggle to find a single thing wrong with it. As such, you roll your eyes and shake your head.

"You already do. You are quick a fast learner."

He takes his hands away from your neck, and rests them gently on your shoulders. Their weight is warm and heavy, comfort like a quilt in a winter storm.

"Delicate creations were not my expertise when first we met; I will always be in your debt for your guidance." Perhaps they weren't, but Vulkan had spent many hours adtereeting you at the forges, crafting smaller and smaller pieces worlds apart from what he usually forges. His first few pieces, bracelets, had indeed been a bit sloppy, but as you'd expect of a primarch- he had it mastered within moments.

Most were gifted to you, after. The seventh one was perhaps when you realized he wasn't just being kind for the sake of it.

"I think you've mastered it just fine."

You look up at him with a confident and almost sly smile, knowing you are praising yourself inadvertantly. The primarch chuckles, and leans in to press a gentle kiss to your lips.

"Have I ever properly thanked you for all of this time?" You him, still a bit drunk off of his kiss.

"A few times, actually."

He surprises you with a shake of his head, and another kiss. You certainly don't complain about the ladder, leaning inward with a soft moan and pressing your lips against his. They're so soft and warm- you feel them shift against your own as he deepens the kiss ever so slightly before pulling away. You're even drunker now, eyes a bit hooded.

I meant to say if I have properly, expressed my gratitude." You fumble for a moment, before you feel your cheeks get a bit redder. Suddenly the necklace against your collarbone feels a bit colder.

"In that case... No."

Vulkan drifts a hand along your collarbone, shifting the metal of his latest creation and gift to you until it lays absolutely peefect.

"Allow me to take you to my chambers and do so, then."

[mmoonpies]

Okay okay I saw that you're taking requests and then SPENCER R3ID ARE YOU KIDDING, love that guy honestly sooo could you maybe do something where the reader is also in the bau and spencer and them have been dating for years (like from s1 to like s4 idk ) and only Aaron knows (because he obviously has to know for work reasons) and the team somehow finds out and are like wtf since when and then spencer says 4 years and blah blah days and so on you get the drill

i literally love him sm. him + fluff is my fav thing!!

also sorry this is lowkey sloppy + unedited

spencer reid was nothing short of being described as introspective; gentle and withdrawn eve. his mind was constantly running, comfortable focusing on his inner thoughts and ideas, drawn to the corners of the wall as he willingly let other people's shadows tower over him.

despite the uncontrollable bursts of facts that fall from his tongue before dissolving into a stuttering ramble, he was pretty withdrawn. often refusing to go 'socialising' with the other bau members, preferring to stay within the comfort of his apartment to read and write.

that was until he met you.

your smile was toothy, lips sharply curved into a grin as your eyes shimmered with a playfulness he yearned for. you had no problem being in the "spotlight" voice loud and almost boastful as you bashfully took control of the room. you were loyal, unafraid to protect those you loved; even if it would end in your peril.

your greetings were filled with enthusiasm, followed by your signature grin, despite being 4am in the morning, only fuelled the other's disdain as they winced and clutched their coffee tighter. spencer's eyes would rest on your face from across the room, teeth sinking into his bottom lip as he felt the urge to smile at your bubbliness.

spencer once thought you'd be attracted to someone as confident as you, willing to show you off and flaunt your skills whenever possible. when, in reality, it was the opposite; you were searching for someone you could show off.

you were the one to listen with undivided attention to his over-the-top explanations, eyes wide and attentive as you smiled at him when his voice died off, encouraging him to keep speaking. it made his chest swell, cheeks growing warm as hesitantly gripped at his fingers, playing with them as he nervously continued his explanation.

you were the one who dropped a coffee off at his desk with a small smiley face messily drawn on the side, shooting him a bright grin before bouncing off to your desk. spencer would keep his palms wrapped around the cup, silently treasuring the drawing meant for him.

it became a routine - you sent a coffee his way each morning, and in return, spencer would offer half of his sandwich to you after you walked him through a 'tour' of your lunch. you would give him a generous serving of your lunch, and he would gratefully eat it, no matter the taste.

and to be honest, he wasn't sure when a full sandwich became 'too much' for him, always craving whatever concoction you had created after each half of his sandwich. he wasn't sure when he became so fond of you, patiently and hopefully waiting for you to bound over towards him, fists clenched in front of your shoulders as you beamed up at him.

"spencer, you will not believe how excited i am for lunch today!"

"i think i can," spencer would smile back, eyebrows raising as you bit your lip, grin still toothy and bright. "what've you got today?"

"can't tell you," you squinted up at him, giggling like a devious child. "you have to wait until lunch, but trust me, it'll blow your silly mismatched socks off!"

"hey! what'd they ever do to you?!"

it had stayed that way for 4 years; every single day, without missing a beat. no matter the time or day, you never failed to bring him c coffee with a smiley face, just like he had never failed to give you half of his sandwich.

being with you came as easy as breathing, although he struggled to convey his emotions, both physically and verbally, you both confided in the action of sharing lunch together. he hardly touched you at work, not wanting to seem unprofessional and upset hotchner or anyone on the team.

the only words hotchner had said in relation to the two of you were practically unthreatening. yet, as spencer shyly stood behind you as hotchner processed the information, the sickly feeling of dread spread throughout the inner lining of spencer's stomach.

"don't let it interfere with your work," he demanded, eyebrows furrowed as usual. you both gushed out 'thank you' before turning to leave, the stress of hiding it washing off the two of your shoulder's.

spencer, for 4 years, had assumed hotch had announced it to everyone else on the team. he still dealt with derek's teasing about him being a 'virgin' and his constant jabs about his 'experience with women.'

he was honestly just glad nothing had changed; your routine stayed the same, your glances lingering a little longer than usual, and your smiley faces turning into hearts. but that was all.

spencer was currently cursing his wonky alarm, almost tripping over his own feet as he struggled to pull his own pants up. a slice of bread was caught between his teeth as he slung his satchel over his shoulder before rushing out the door of his apartment.

he was cursing his dumb decision to skip crashing over at your apartment, fingers smashing against the buttons of his cell phone as he called you back, wincing at the number of missed calls he had.

"hey, hey! i'm so sorry y/n, please just tell them i'll be there soon. my alarm didn't go off!"

"i told you it needs new batteries-"

"is now the time to say 'i told you so'?" spencer practically whined in your ear, a small smile curving at your lips as you giggled.

"got it, just get here as quick as you can." you murmured in response before flipping your phone shut, lifting your head up to meet the inquisitive gaze of four profilers staring right at you. "he slept in, he'll be here in about 5 minutes."

"the spencer reid being late? that's a first," emily teased, flipping through the case file in front of her. hotch's facial expression was the same as always; eyes slightly narrowed and eyebrows creasing inwards with his lips stretched into a thin line.

"everyone's allowed to be late," hotch shrugged as he stepped in front of the projector, grabbing one of the files scattered over the round table. "once."

you almost snorted at the delivery, shoulders hunching over as you caught yourself, swallowing your laugh. you caught derek's eye just as the door behind you swung open, a flustered spencer basically clambering through the doorway.

"sorry, sorry! i'm so sorry i'm late!" his voice was pitched, bowing his head at hotch before walking over to you. his brain was still recovering from his interrupted and rushed morning, a cloud of haziness hovering over his brain as he leant down and pressed a kiss to your temple. "sorry i missed your calls."

the room is silent apart from the squeak of spencer's chair as he sits down, rolling forward to reach a case file before noticing the defeating silence in the room. he lifts his head up, only to be met by the shocked and wide-eyed faces of his team members.

"what?"

"what was that?' derek exclaimed, gesturing between the two of you. spencer shook his head with a shrug before tilting his head, eyebrows furrowing with confusion.

"what do you mean?"

"you just...kissed y/n on the forehead," jj spoke slowly as if she was still processing the situation in her head. spencer had a confused smile stretch across his lips. looking between the three of them as if they were crazy.

"yeah? you guys are acting like we aren't dating..."

"WHAT?"

spencer jolts back at the yells of the three members, hands raising in a defensive manner before looking over at you. your jaw was basically on the floor, eyes wide as you stared at spencer.

"...they didn't know, spencer," your voice is barely above a whisper, embarrassment running thick as you hunch your shoulders once more. for once, the attention is focused on spencer, and you're thankful the spotlight isn't on you.

"since when?" emily immediately interrogates him, standing up and leaning over the desk as her palm splays against the wooden table.

"c'mon, they're obviously pranking us," derek shrugs with a confident smirk. "we would've known sooner if they actually were dating."

"no I'm-i'm serious," spencer defends, mouth opening and closing before he turns back to face emily and answers her question. "it's been 4 years."

"WHAT?" they all exclaim in unison once more, lips parted as their jaws drop. they're all frozen in shock, eyes flickering between the two of you.

"i'm confused, how did you guys not know? we share lunch together every day!" spencer laughs in disbelief, shrugging as his hands flop between you and him. "y/n brings me a coffee every day."

"yeah but-"

'you never gave us a reason to believe that you were more than friends!" jj interjects, arms crossing over her chest.

"can we please focus on the case, guys?" hotch interrupts with a deep sigh, rubbing at his forehead with an impressed glower.

"hotch, you're not surprised?" derek exclaims, sitll in disbelief.

"no, they told me 4 years ago," hotch states simply before turning towards jj. "now, we've had enough interruptions. the case? please?"

"we're going out for drinks, and you're telling us everything." emily demands, her index finger pointing directly at you. you can feel everyone's gaze turns towards you, snickering at how flustered you look - unable to meet their eyes as you cover your cheeks with your hands.

"i'm sorry?" spencer offers, his own shoulders hunching upwards."i can give you my entire sandwich?!"

"be quiet, spencer!"

[ohbo-ohno]

i wanna know ghoap's individual reactions to them finally breaking the reader, maybe the reader's been bratty all day long, refusing to play with the new toys simon got for her or sulking when johnny tries to play dress up using her, maybe simon's getting a little pissed and just pulls her onto his lap, she struggles, but then a warm, calloused thumb to her clit, rubbing gently, with his hot breath against that sensitive part her neck has the stiffness suddenly melting, and simon's eyes spark with GLEE as he sees her own eyes glaze over and she whines and pushes her hips further into his hands. god that would be so fun. but i'm not sure how this would work out for johnny

i need an oxygen machine

Simon's a little tired that day, doesn't quite have the energy to force you to submit, to force you into the soft headspace they want you in. So when you gripe and bitch he just grabs you, dragging you over on top of him without a word and ignoring your complaints. He curls you into him, scoops your legs up and tucks your feet under one thigh, has your ass planted on the other and rests his arm behind your back to give you support. You get a little wiggly and he doesn't even say anything, just growls out a low noise against your temple and sneaks his free hand between your legs. You go all stiff in his arms, and he strokes a little. Nothing much, just enough for you to feel the sensation, feel where he is. And you just break for him. Go fully limp in his arms, legs falling open and head falling to his neck as you let out a little keen, burrowing your face beneath his jaw and panting. He can't fuckin' believe it. He tugs you even closer, rubs just a little faster and pets up and down your back, mummering to you there you go, sweetheart. that's nice, isn't it? bein' so good for me, so soft. lettin' me be nice to you, so good. isn't this good? don't you like bein' good for me? that's my girl.

it would take a little more for johnny. you've got your guard up around him in a different way than you do with simon. you know what's happening with simon, have at least a bit of an idea what he'll do to/with you. but with johnny you've got to always prepare for the unexpected, so you sort of tiptoe around him a lot. the moment he thinks he's actually got you is just a lazy saturday afternoon. simon is napping on the couch, and johnny pulls you into the kitchen with him to make a cake. no reason, he just wants to do something with you, and it's rainy and gross out so he can't even take you on a walk anywhere. you're a little softer that day, had been good and not need any scolding or punishments, so your walls are lowered. you make the cake together from a box mix, johnny drawing the process out to spend as much time with you as possible. he picks you up by the hips at one point, drops you onto his feet and holds your hands as he dances the two of you around. it's silly, and johnny's singing terribly as he does it, all dramatic and loose, pulling your body along with his and not even making you take a step. you can't help but laugh, loud and full. johnny's heart stops when he hears it, and he quickly turns, pushing your back into a counter. you cut yourself off, staring up at him in surprise, and he gets so panicked, worried he's lost you already. so he does the first thing that comes to mind - dips his finger in the bowl of batter next to you and swipes it onto your nose. you lose it, already in a good headspace. you just burst out laughing, tears welling in your eyes. he can't even laugh with you, just stares down all wide-eyed at your euphoria. it's then that he knows it'll all be ok. you can be happy with them <3

[khaire-traveler]

💥 Subtle Eris Worship ⚔️

Stand up for yourself and others

Assert your boundaries; learn what your boundaries are; not all boundaries need to be spoken

Do not needlessly sacrifice yourself for others (it takes time to unlearn this behavior, it'll be ok ❤️)

Have a candle that reminds you of her (no altar needed)

Wear jewelry that reminds you of her

Keep a picture of her in your wallet

Engage in activities you're passionate about

Share your passions with others

Support abuse survivor, homeless, or humanitarian organizations

Practice healthy conflict resolution skills; learn about what those might look like

Have imagery black wings, apples (particularly golden), black feathers, or whatever you associate with rivalry/discord around

Have a stuffed animal of any animal you associate with discord or rivalry; have a stuffed animal of an animal you consider to be bold, passionate, or powerful (maybe a predator)

Take risks; do things that you need/want to; if you're scared, do it scared

Learn to speak up when you disagree with someone; don't always hold your tongue

Get comfortable with the idea of change; try to look at positive outcomes rather than focusing on negative ones

Change something within your daily routine if it starts to feel mundane, even something small

Join a supportive community where you feel comfortable expressing yourself; LGBT groups, D&D, survivor therapeutic groups, etc.

Dance/sing to music that makes you feel empowered, badass, or expressive

Find healthy outlets for your emotions; boxing, dancing, drawing, building, crafting, etc.

Allow yourself to feel your feelings; cry, scream, shake - whatever your body needs to do

Make your space reflect parts of yourself; make it your own!

Exercise; get some movement throughout the day, even just stretching

Create a positive change in the life of someone else; cook a meal for someone in need, donate blankets to a homeless shelter, support your friend through a difficult time, etc.

Prioritize your own well-being; learn to be comfortable with being a bit selfish; it's not a bad thing to look out for yourself

Wear outfits that make you feel bold or expressive

Express yourself in little ways if you're unable to be fully open; a bracelet to represent your gender, pride flag colored shoelaces, etc.

Play with pets; get active alongside them!

Listen to stories of people who have gone through major life changes; try to learn from them

Make a list of your personal strengths; acknowledge and honor them

Work hard, but remember that rest is also productive

Practice patience and restraint around people who annoy or bother you a lot; a difficult lesson, believe me, I know

Try to be understanding of the fact that people have their own struggles as well; this doesn't mean you have to forgive transgressions against you

Don't feel obligated to forgive people; you do not owe anyone anything just because they apologized to you

Celebrate your accomplishments, even the small ones!

-

I'll likely add more later! It was a bit tough for me to come up with ideas for Eris because I don't worship her directly and couldn't find many sources discussing her worship, unfortunately. I'm open to ideas! For now, this is my list of discreet Eris worship. I hope someone finds it helpful. ❤️

Link to Subtle Worship Master list

[thriftedtchotchkes]

dating start!

pairing: josh futturman x reader

summary: your first date with josh is likely the best you've ever been on, but you're pretty sure he has no clue it's valentine's day (based on a prompt from this list)

warnings: fluff, dick mentions everywhere, making out in public

word count: 1.7k

(ily @tinycozycomfort, ty for enabling me always)

It's ridiculously cute how oblivious Josh is.

The sun's already starting to set, and you've passed about a dozen storefronts and restaurants plastered with paper hearts, yet you're almost positive he still has no idea what day it is. In his defense, this is probably the best date you've ever been on—you just didn't expect him to take you out for the first time on Valentine's Day.

You wonder when it'll finally hit him. If the gaudy decorations and love-struck couples everywhere haven't tipped him off by now, you're not sure he'll ever figure out. Are you perfectly capable of telling him yourself? For sure, but the last thing you want to do is freak him out or embarrass him.

Things are already comfortable between you, surprisingly so, and you'd rather not rock the boat. Not yet, at least. Besides, you're right in the middle of an important debate that could make or break your budding relationship, and you're totally winning.

"—in conclusion, it's physically impossible for Luigi to have a bigger dick than Mario. I rest my case."

Josh scoffs, shooting you a dubious look from his spot on the grass. Okay, maybe you're not winning. He takes a deep breath, shifting closer, and now you know you're in for it.

"There's no way. Have you ever seen Luigi in Smash? Super Mario Wonder? That thing flops all over the place, it's huge. You can barely even see Mario's crotch half the time, he's too close to the ground," he argues, eyebrows raised like he's already planning his next rebuttal. You raise an eyebrow in return.

"Wow. So, you're saying his dick has to be small because he's short?" you give him a pointed look. You're teasing him, rather than trying to make a point, and you both know it.

He flushes a pretty pink, and you can see the cogs turning in his head. Part of you hopes he takes the bait and flirts back, but he doesn't—at first.

"Okay no, you're literally putting words in my mouth. I'm just saying, logically speaking, the height-to-dick ratio doesn't add up. Plus, I gave you actual proof. Your entire argument was based on vibes," he laughs, and he's so endearing with his crinkled, hazel eyes and red-tinged ears that you almost concede. 

But before you get the chance, his arms snake around your waist and drag you down next to him. The grass is cold and a little dewy from the mid-winter Los Angeles air, but you barely notice, distracted by how close his face suddenly is to yours. 

At this proximity, you can count the faint freckles peppered across his nose and cheeks, and his lips quirk as if he can tell that's exactly what you're doing. His eyes drop to your mouth, and after a lingering moment, you realize he's leaning closer.

"You make a good point, though," he says unexpectedly. You struggle to remember what you were talking about in the first place, but he's quick to remind you. "I do know a pretty cool guy who's 5'5 and has a massive dick. So, maybe you were right after all."

"Oh yeah? Sounds like a winner—total Mario vibes," you reply cheekily, loving the turn this debate is taking. Perhaps a little too much. "Maybe I should've let that guy take me out on Valentine's Day instead."

It slips out before you can stop it, and for a second, his face goes blank. Then, he panics.

"Oh, shit." Josh jolts up, frantically scanning the park like he's just noticing that there's red and pink and couples on romantic picnics all around you. His shoulders droop in defeat. "Well, that's embarrassing," he mumbles. 

Crap. This is exactly what you were trying to avoid all day. It had to come out at some point, sure, but you didn't mean for it to come out like that. You reach up to tug at his green flannel and pull him back down to lie with you on the grass.

"Why is it embarrassing?" you ask carefully, resting a comforting hand on his chest. He sighs.

"I would've done so much more if I'd known. I should've brought you flowers or chocolate—and chocolate, I should've done both," he says, sounding unfairly frustrated with himself. "I'm such an asshole. Who the fuck just forgets Valentine's Day?"

You, for starters. This is probably the first time in years you remembered what happens on February 14th, and that was just a fluke. It's just a day, one you're thoroughly enjoying not because it's some random holiday with way too many connotations, but because you get to spend it with him. 

"Hey. You're not an asshole," you reassure him, cupping his cheek to snap him out of his spiral. He leans into your touch, finally meeting your eyes. "You didn't have to do any of that. I'm allergic to flowers and I'm not a huge fan of chocolate anyways, so that actually kind of makes you a hero. Major Mario vibes."

That makes him chuckle, and you laugh along with him. Thankfully, he looks as relieved as you feel. Taking that as the go-ahead to continue what he started earlier, you scooch closer.

"What if we just ignore what day it is and you can keep telling me all about that cool guy with the massive dick? I think he might honestly be my ticket to winning our debate," you joke, draping an arm over his shoulder. 

You're face-to-face, all but pressed up against each other in the middle of a public park, but neither of you seems to care. Josh's eyes dart to your lips, and he nods, grinning as he leans in.

"Well, he has unclogged a toilet or two in his day, so he's basically a plumber. And princesses love him,” he says, teasing you, and you huff out a laugh.

"You are so fucking cheesy—"

He cuts you off with a kiss. Warm and a little chapped, his lips move slowly against yours as you both savor the moment you've been waiting for all day. It doesn't matter that it's Valentine's Day or that this is your first date. What matters is that it feels natural and comfortable, even in its newness. In your experience, that's pretty rare.

His fingers splay across your ribcage, and you sigh softly into his mouth as he pulls you flush against his body. It's so easy to forget where you are, lost in the increasing intensity of the kiss and his hands freely roaming your sides. 

Before things can get too PG-13 for the park, you reluctantly pull away, opening your eyes to see him already smiling at you in contentment. 

"Maybe we should go back to my place," you grin sheepishly, and the look he gives you is nothing short of suggestive. You roll your eyes. "Not like that."

He raises an eyebrow, looking doubtful. "You sure this isn't just a ploy to verify the dick thing?"

You playfully shove his shoulder, but he retaliates by kissing you again.

"Josh, focus," you laugh, muffled by his lips. Jerking back, you attempt to recapture his attention while he tries and fails to chase you. "No, this isn't some elaborate ruse to get your pants off." 

You don't bother mentioning that it's supposed to be his friend's dick, not his, but it's not like either of you are pretending you don't know exactly whose dick you're talking about. Plus, you already got your proof earlier when he kissed you. There's a reason you had to cut it short.

"It's just getting kind of late, and we probably won't find a place to eat around here that isn't already booked for the night," you tell him. At that, he looks a little downtrodden, clearly blaming himself for not making a reservation. "But—," you continue, hoping to cheer him up, "—I happen to make a mean spaghetti and meatballs, and Italian feels like it fits the vibe of this date."

His eyes light up, and you immediately know it was the perfect thing to say. This time when his lips meet yours, you melt into it, letting him bury his fingers in your hair as the kiss deepens. He coaxes your mouth open, and it becomes a sweet give-and-take that makes your head spin.

It ends way too quickly, but you can't find it in yourself to be disappointed when he pulls away. Not when he's looking at you like he can't believe you're real and in his arms right now.

"How the hell did I manage to get a date with you?" he asks earnestly. You shrug, burrowing further into his chest.

"I find your lack of temporal awareness and shitty takes on video game characters to be utterly charming," you reply with a straight face. 

For a second, he looks stunned by your answer. Then, you both burst out laughing, and you're struck again by how easy it is to be with him. You've been on this date for almost six hours and still haven't run out of things to talk about. 

It's the best date you've ever been on by far and might even be the best Valentine's Day you've ever had. You already know you're going to ask for a second one once it's over, but the night's still young. And you have a debate to win. 

"Come on," you say, hit with a sudden burst of energy. You shift out of his grasp to stand, then hold out your hands to help him up. "I have a serious craving for spaghetti, and I'm so ready for you to officially concede defeat."

"Oh yeah? And why would I do that?" he raises an eyebrow, lacing his fingers through yours as you lead him in the direction of your apartment.

"Because I know for a fact you're concealing evidence and I'm gonna prove it."

thanks for reading!

(divider by @saradika-graphics)

[secret-bug-pain-blog]

The fun part about stress is that when you're under a particularly large amount of stress from a single source, it's really hard to actually buckle under that One Thing. Even if it's a really, really big thing, that is threatening to ruin your entire life in one fell swoop, it's hard to fully get yourself to wrap your head around it. Big Things, in our experience, almost always take a good chunk of time to chew on and fully digest. You don't give way under the weight, you simply have to chew on it. Work through it. Maybe not directly work on it, but you don't really shatter from it. It just sort of hangs over your head, like a single massive weight.

The thing about these sorts of weights, of course, is that this adds to the stress from other things. You don't break down about the Big Things directly. When it happens, it won't be the Big Weight of, say, that cloying medical problem. It'll be the little things. That big weight is too big to really wrap your head around, too heavy to comprehend in one piece - so what gets you is, instead, the little things. The stuff that reminds you of it, in a way that's ever so more tangible.

Because you don't just think about, say, your future potential inability to financially support yourself. You go on with your life. You keep acting as normal. You work as you are, for as long as you can. And then that straw comes along.

You go out to a club with your friends. You think of buying drinks together. All of a sudden, you remember your bank account. Every penny spent on gin feels like a risk, a waste. You're irresponsible. You're wasting your savings away. How long can you sustain this? Everything you buy, and everything your friends buy, feels like abrasions on an invisible plane. Thinking about it makes you feel sick, and the more you stay, the worse you feel.

It's not spending two dollars on a beer, realistically, that's causing you the stress. It's the looming spectre behind it. The problem, showing itself in symptoms, so much more easily grasped. Your phone slips from your hands, and you think of the nerve problems that will only compound, and all of a sudden the mere idea of picking it up and dropping it again makes you feel sick. Your friend texts you something just north of warm, and all of a sudden you're spiralling worrying if your continuing problems have finally alienated them.

It's easier to grasp the smaller things, you see. It's easier to have one little thing happen and realize that you'll have to grapple with that for the rest of your life than it is to go through the symptoms list, because it's simple and immediate. Thinking of your future is too big to wrap your head around, but thinking of having to rely on someone to hold your hand just to walk you to the bathroom, over and over for the rest of your life - that thought scares you, more than any thought of the underlying cause ever would. It's not she's dead, it's how will i water the roses without her? or what will i do on tuesday now that she's gone? or how do i ever care for her pets?

Small is easy to grasp. Easy to think about. Easy to worry about. Easy to have happen, and have the horrible, bleeding spectre of its underlying cause crash into you, and leave you shaking and struggling to pull yourself together on the floor. A forced windows update might not scare you, but the looming fear of forced obsolescence will, the horror of not even being able to choose to opt out on a should-be-optional update.

Which is to say: it's not being forcibly turned into a werebeast that really gets you. Not the blades at your heels, or the blood on the floor, or the immediate knot of emotions when you realize your teammate's just seen you behead someone without even meaning to do it. It's not the injury, or the inability to walk, or the burning like boiling oil trickling down your muscles hours afterwards. What really gets you, once everything's over and done with, is sitting down and realizing that your only pair of shoes has been slashed to ribbons because of your own cursed body's spur blades.

Because it might not be the boots, on their own, causing the problem. But that, in and of itself, makes it worse. Because even if it's not the core of the problem, it's still the part that you'll fixate on, because it's faster, because it's simpler, because it's so much easier to grasp than wrapping your head around all that's been done to you, and crying over something as horribly, horribly trivial as boots makes you sound - well, it makes you sound like an immature fool, doesn't it?

A cruelty, perhaps, that the emotional state at which you'll cry over boots isn't one where you can put the source of the problem together. But really, knowing that it's the werebeast thing doesn't make you feel any less stupid. Because now you're the kind of person who cries over boots, and stupid, material possessions, when you have so many more problems, when a slip of your sleeve could get you arrested. And that, more than anything, makes you feel a tiny bit more helpless than before.

They were good boots, too.

[myosotisa]

reckless driving - e.m.

Eddie Munson x Reader

‖ summary: You're Eddie's first relationship and he falls fast. Faster than you are ready for. You tell yourself it'll work out until it almost kills you both.

‖  tags: angst, break up fic, new and unhealthy relationship, no y/n, gender neutral reader, no pronouns used, nicknames are doll and baby. based on reckless driving by Lizzy McAlpine, Ben Kessler. tw: unsafe driving/close call car accident

‖ word count: 2k

“Eddie, I have to talk to you about something.”

No good conversation has ever started off that way. But it’s really like that for a reason.

You’ve been rehearsing it in your head all day, all week. The ‘I think we should take a break’ talk. The one you know he’s never had and won’t really understand.

Especially not with how things are going right now.

At first, Eddie’s reckless behavior was something you loved about him. He was so unapologetic about everything he did – so steadfast in his beliefs and his decisions. Stubborn, maybe, but he was so sure of himself. At least, he appeared to be from an outside perspective. He was fun and spontaneous and you thought that was what you needed. Plus he also made you feel safe, in a way. He was very ride or die with the people he cared about. Once you were in, you were in, and the idea of that was so thrilling.

As you got closer to him, you noticed more. His imagination had no rival, his brain was constantly on the move. It made sense that he struggled so much in school – the dude could barely sit in one spot for more than a few minutes. There were always things that needed to be done, songs to be written, campaigns to be planned, and everything else that mattered more than his responsibilities. He was a dreamer that lived in the clouds. As a person with a heavy anchor to the earth, it was a marvel to sometimes end up in the sky with him.

Eddie Munson made everything seem lighter. Made everything more fun.

Looking back on it, you always really liked the idea of Eddie Munson. The reality wasn’t quite what you thought it would be.

On your third time hanging out with him, just the two of you, you took your chance. It had been a night of jokes and laughs and smiles that made your cheeks hurt. He looked at you like you hung the moon and the stars in the night sky above your heads and you grabbed his collar and yanked his mouth to yours before you could think about it twice.

He made you feel brave that way.

After an awkward and less than ideal kiss, you pulled away to a shell shocked Eddie. It turned out he had no idea you were crushing on him, thought you both were just hanging out as friends. He never thought someone like you would be interested in him. That, right there, had been his first ever kiss.

With this new information and a sickly sweet smile, you asked him if he wanted to have his second ever kiss. He basically fell on top of you in his excitement.

After that point, you’d describe the rest of your time together as ‘dating.’ Although, that was only 6 weeks ago. Things with Eddie had progressed… Quickly, to say the least.

At first, it was endearing. He was just so excited to have feelings reciprocated with someone that he didn’t quite know what to do with himself. He called you his partner, his love, his future. You’d thought he was making fun, being cute. Really leaning in on that puppy love from a new relationship.

A week and a half into your brand new relationship, he explained how excited he was to navigate holidays with your family, that he had never met (and it was May), and asked if you’d thought about moving in together. He was dead serious. You’d laughed at first, accidentally hurting his feelings, and you rushed to recover without really knowing what to make of it. Of course, you weren’t against the idea of those things in theory, but it was all just happening so fast.

The first time you tried to explain that you weren’t really thinking that far ahead, wanting to think about the time spent with him now, he’d gotten upset. More upset than you anticipated. It felt like you were ruining something that was fun and exciting for him – he was all in and ready to go all the way, no matter how little you actually knew each other, and you felt like you were trying to play catchup in a race you weren’t sure you were ready to run.

You’d comforted him, told him you were just overwhelmed. He’d apologized for overreacting, explaining he was scared to lose you when he had only just gotten to be with you.

That explanation fed you over the next few weeks. This was all so new to him, is what you told yourself. He spent way too much money on a spontaneous gift for you because he wanted to impress you, even though he was barely making enough to cover his expenses. He skipped work to surprise you during lunch because he thought it would be romantic, even though he got in a lot of trouble for it and could’ve lost his job. He would randomly show up at your house unannounced – wanted to occupy all of your time, invited himself along on everything you tried to do without him, and seemed anxious whenever you tried to tell him you were busy or wanted some time alone.

He was just so excited to be with you, you told yourself. He didn’t know that it was hurting you because you couldn’t talk to him about it without upsetting him. No matter how gently you tried to broach the subject, it always became the end of the world to him.

It seemed you couldn’t do anything for yourself lately without upsetting him.

The excuses were enough to keep pushing through until earlier this week.

The trees rushed past on the two lane road south of town where the streetlights were few and far between. The stars were bright and blinking in the humid summer night while the breeze rushing in through the windows cooled your skin and ruffled your hair. Eddie was driving fast and had the music at a deafening volume. It made you feel alive – reckless and daring. Brave.

“You look so fucking pretty, doll.”

When you looked over at him, he was staring straight at you. The wind was whipping his messy waves around his face that was absolutely filled with softness. It made your heart rate kick up in your chest for two reasons. “Thanks, handsome. But you should really look at the road.”

You both laughed and he did, at least for a little while. When you looked back a few minutes later, he was staring at you again. Despite his lead foot on the gas pedal.

Anxiety spiking, you felt the smile on your face falter. “Seriously, Eddie, you should watch the road.”

“But I just wanna look at youuuuu,” he cooed in a way that would’ve been adorable if he hadn’t been pushing 80 mph on a country road.

“Eddie, please.” You tried to laugh it off, using your hand to try to turn his face back to looking forward. “You can look at me all you want when we get there, okay?”

Then he took both hands off the steering wheel to take yours, pressing kisses on each of your knuckles and over your palm. “Eddie,” you tried again, attempting to pull your hand away so he would focus. He took your denial playfully, yanking your hand back and flashing you a smile as his foot pressed down harder on the gas, speedometer inching toward 95. “Eddie, seriously!”

“Hmm?” He hummed, giving you a lovesick smile as he finally let your hand drop. You could feel your breathing kicking up, tears springing to your eyes in fear and panic, which seemed to reach him for the first time that something was wrong.

He realized too late.

“Eddie, LOOK OUT!”

His dirty Reebok hit the brake at the same moment his ringed fingers grabbed the wheel, jerking it to the side to avoid the tree that had fallen into the road. The van went skidding across the tarmac – your hands flying out to brace against the dashboard as the force of the spin pressed you hard against your seatbelt. It made a full 180 before the locked up wheels hit dirt and brought the car to an abrupt stop that threw you in the opposite direction of the spin.

Your head hit the backrest hard. There was a burning feeling along your neck and chest from the seatbelt. The car had come to a stop but it still felt like your brain was spinning, like the world was moving. Some nausea kicked up in your stomach and was amplified by the thoughts that invaded your head.

Thoughts like: We could have just died.

“Baby, are you okay?!” Eddie’s big doe eyes were absolutely filled with panic, rapidly looking back and forth between your tear-filled eyes, the rapid rise and fall of your chest, and the trembling of your hands. “I’m so, so sorry, I don’t know how that happened.”

You knew. You knew exactly how. You’d tried to tell him. Begged him to just look at the fucking road.

He’d begged for your forgiveness, starting to cry himself, and you granted it just to placate him. You just wanted to go home. Just wanted to feel safe again.

When did you stop feeling safe with him?

So now, three days later, you were standing in front of the door to his trailer with a rash-covered bruise along your chest and trembling hands. Rehearsing it again in your head, the ‘we need to talk’ speech that you were terrified to give.

The door ripped open before you were ready to knock.

“Hey doll!” Eddie’s face lit up in a brilliant grin, immediately pulling you into a bone crushing hug on his porch. “I was just thinking about you – are you sure you’re not a mind reader?”

“I, uh… I don’t think so?” You replied with an awkward smile, tentatively hugging him back.

“Could’ve fooled me,” he pulled back with a wink and pressed a kiss to your forehead before dragging you inside with him. “Come on, I can’t wait to tell you about this new idea I had for the campaign with the guys.”

This is going to be harder than I thought.

“I would love to but–”

“No, seriously, you’re gonna love it.” He was all smiles as he led you by the hand over to the couch and flopped down onto it, patting the spot next to him for you to sit. When you didn’t, he kept talking anyway. “So they are on the way to this underground cavern that’s supposed to be a settlement, right?”

“Eddie,” you tried to get his attention, still standing a foot away.

“Well, I was thinking, wouldn’t it really fuck them up if it was an underwater settlement? Like with merpeople? They’d have to backtrack, figure out a way to get the party to breathe underwater–”

“Eddie,” you tried again, and were ignored again.

“They should have the funds to buy a couple trinkets, and the sorcerer of the party should be able to cover a spell of waterbreathing for at least one or two of them–”

“EDDIE.”

With the sharp increase of volume from you, he finally fell silent. Those big, brown eyes were on you again and owlishly wide as he finally realized you were trying to say something to him. Another lovesick smile and a tilt of his head, holding out his hands toward you to try to encourage you closer. “What’s up, baby?”

“Eddie, I have to talk to you about something.”

His face and his hands fell in perfect harmony.

You'd rather die than take your eyes off me I don't love you like that I’m a careful driver And I tell you all the time to keep your eyes on the road But you love me like that You’re a reckless driver And one day it’ll kill us if I don’t let go

-

-

-

-

[allthewhumpygoodness]

It's B who's always been the party animal, not A. But they're friends, and B has way more other friends than A does, so where they go, A goes too.

"It'll be good for you," B told them before they set off, throwing an arm around their shoulders. "You need more friends who aren't me."

Maybe, grudgingly, A would agree. Still, they have no desire to spend their night in a stuffy apartment full of drunk people they've never met, either bored out of their mind or anxious out of their skin, depending.

But they're B's friend, so for the first twenty minutes of the party that's exactly what they do.

And for a while, it isn't too bad. The party isn't crazy loud - nobody's smashing windows or dancing on the kitchen table or getting into fistfights - but it's still too much for A to comfortably join in. They spend most of it quietly petting B's cat in the corner, bottled water in hand, giving quick smiles and at most a few words of greeting to whoever notices them. Just-enough smiles, 'I'm-not-a-creep-I-just-have-no-idea-how-to-talk-to-people' smiles. Most people don't talk to them at all, though, so there's no reason for anything more.

After a couple hours, in which A has slowly pried themselves from the corner and the cat and gets used to hovering near the closest snack table, things start getting hazy. The lights in the room are blurring a little, the outlines of people and objects smudging in between blinks - they've never needed glasses before, but this is what they'd imagine it feels like. If they'd been drinking anything other than their own bottled water, they would've worried somebody spiked their drink. They feel weird, and disoriented, and bad.

Worse, whatever this feeling is, it's come on too quickly for them to notice it happening.

After some time they find themselves seated back on the couch, though the cat is now nowhere in sight. Sounds are too loud, even the dim light is too bright, and above all they feel somehow removed from the rest of the room, floating somewhere far away with no roots in the world they're seeing. And they're sniffling. When did their nose start running?

Disjointed as they are, it takes them much too long a moment to realize someone is talking to them.

They turn their head slowly, alarmed at how dizzy it makes them. A face hovers close to theirs, eyebrows raised and expression questioning. They have to blink hard to make the features come into focus.

"I haven't seen much of you tonight," says this new person, a small smile playing on their lips. Flirtatious almost, it clicks into A's fuzzy brain.

"Oh," is all they can say.

"I don't think we've met."

A shakes their head, trying to clear it. "I'm A," they say.

They struggle to remember if they've ever spoken to this person before, but their brain seems to be blocked, leaving them unable to speak let alone think. "You're not B", they say eventually --realizing a second later what a stupid sounding thing to say that is.

But the figure next to them laughs. "Took you long enough to notice. I'm C. Have you had one too many?"

A swallows, their throat tight and scratchy. "I don't drink."

"Okay, I believe you," says C, sounding like they don't believe it at all. "Are you a friend of B's? We've been friends for ages, I'm surprised I've never met you before."

Whenever C moves, it's like a fuzzy halo of light around them shifts a moment after, following just a little too far behind. Their face is bright; it kind of hurts to look at them and it's kind of mesmerizing and A isn't sure what to do.

"Hey, A? Are you with me?"

A blinks, suddenly extraordinarily tired. The face in front of them is swaying and blurring and looks so very wrong...

"I'm fine," they mutter. "Just pretty tired. Long day."

C gives what looks like a sympathetic smile, but their eyebrows form a slight crease. "Are you ok? You're sweating."

"Am I?" They feel chilled if anything, damp and clammy.

With a slight smirk, C folds part of their sleeve over their hand and brushes the fabric across A's forehead. The sleeve melts into their skin. "There," they say, "all better."

But even as the words leave their mouth, their expression changes from playful to concerned, a frown sprouting up. To A's surprise, their hand stays where it was, resting on their temple, then flips over so their knuckles brush the skin on their forehead ever so gently. A can't stop looking at them, the outline of their face is glowing...

"Oh," they say softly, "you've got a fever."

It takes a second for them to process what's being said, because they feel like they're standing halfway inside a weird world where the edges of things melt together and voices are too long and minutes are too tall and surfaces sparkle like dew...and even when they do they have to shake their head, fighting to clear it first. "I...do I?" Does it matter?

There's a soft pressure on their face as C keeps their hand in place. "You feel like you do...why haven't you told anyone you're sick?"

"I'm - not - "

It's like they're looking at a photograph with the contrast turned way up - shadows are so dark they can hardly see the corners of the room anymore, and the lights are blinding. They try shaking their head again, but everything swoops around them like a rocking ship. Is that the earth turning?

C taps them on the shoulder, and then they're standing up and towering over A. "B has a guest room somewhere. Let's go find it, shall we?"

Before they know it they're being pulled to their feet, swaying as the ground swoops out from under them, and gripping the nearest steady thing - which turns out to be C's shoulder. They hadn't realized just how badly off they were until now, only upon standing to they feel how weak and wobbly their knees are, or how badly their back and legs and head ache, how heavy they feel.

They cling to C. The party blends and melts around them; shapes crumbling into one another, sounds too muffled and twisted to make out. It makes A so dizzy they're almost sick to their stomach, struggling to focus on anything that isn't moving.

As it turns out, that one steady thing is C's shoulder.

The rest of the journey is a blur, but the next thing they know they're somewhere much quieter and darker, and a pair of hands is guiding them to lie down on something soft, drawing a warm cover over them.

It takes their brain a moment to catch up. "Whose bed is this?" they mumble once it does.

"It's a guest room," says C's voice from somewhere close by. "B won't mind. I'll check with them later, but I'm sure it'll be fine."

To their horror, A feels tears prickle at the corners of their eyes. Even lying down in the warmth and the dark, they feel so miserable. "B doesn't care about me," they say. They aren't sure where this is coming from, but once it's out, it's out. "They - they left me. I haven't seen them all night. They don't want me here..."

C makes a soft, sympathetic sound. When A opens their eyes again they're sitting near them, one hand gently on their shoulder. "I'm sure B still cares a lot about you, they're just caught up with things right now. Once I tell them you're sick they'll be all over you trying to help, you just wait."

A sniffs. They can't deny C's good at sounding reassuring. "Everything hurts."

"I know. I'm sorry. I wonder what you've caught...if it came on so quickly it could be the flu...why don't I get you some water and a couple painkillers, that should help - "

"Wait, C -" A tries to sit up but right away collapse again in a cold sweat, head swimming. Their fingers find C's sleeve and grip it. "Please don't go yet. Just...just one more minute."

It feels like an hour that C pauses for, not moving. But then they sit down on the edge of the bed, one hand tentatively reaching up to stroke A's hair. "Okay. One more minute."

The shadows are still too dark, oppressive and threatening, while the light from the little lamp C turned on hurts their already sore eyes. But C's hand is gentle and soft, maybe cool and maybe warm but either way it's soothing on their skin.

A hardly knows them - at all - but curling up closer to that kind hand is easy. It's natural. So that's just what A does.

[an-angel-in-the-garden]

Romantic Inuyasha x Fem!Reader where Inuyasha and reader are stuck in a room together and Inuyasha gets more and more nervous as time goes by (He can’t get out because he’s it’s a new moon). Reader plays with his hair to calm him down which catches him off guard because nobody’s ever done that before. Surprise surprise, he likes it a LOT.

Wow, I haven't gotten an Inuyasha request in a while. This is very pre relationship leaning. So more like him just realizing that he likes the reader and how it makes him feel, hope that's alright. I also added some headcanons. I felt like my writing was a tad lacking and wanted to add just a little more to the end to fill it out.

" Argh! Come on already!!" The yelling only echoes within the dimly lit room. After the third attempt you'd think he'd give up, but Inuyasha was always too stubborn for that. It's hard to say just how much time has passed but it couldn't have been that long since no one has shown up to save you. " I think that's enough. At this rate you're just going to get hurt!" There's an annoyed huff as Inuyasha practically throws himself on the floor. " At most we've been here an hour, the others will find us soon enough so just be a little more patient maybe?" 

" An hour is way too long. Anything could happen! Plus, you really think those idiots will find us by morning." Inuyasha snots. 

" Well if they don't that's fine. By morning you'll be able to get us out without hurting yourself." The young woman smiles. " Really, it's fine Yasha. This isn't the worst thing we've dealt with." Although she may be taking the situation in stride, Inuyasha found himself only growing more anxious. Though it's true that this isn't the worst they've been through, he couldn't stand being so powerless and made more human than ever by the new moon he felt so... unsure about what to do next. A few beats of silence followed before he stood to try again, it's not as if anyone would stop him. oh, how wrong he was, so very wrong a mere five minutes after he'd started banding on the door and searching the room he found himself rudely dragged back to the bed in the corner and forced to sit down

" HEY!" 

" Don't yell. I'm just trying to calm you down. We are going to be fine; I promise." Before Inuyasha can argue he feels a hand press softly on his head. Then another and soon those two soft hands are running through his hair and scratching his scalp. For a moment he tenses, it's been so long since anyone has treated him so softly. The moment his brain catches up with what's happening Inuyasha knows it's too late. His face grows warm and red, his mouth hurts from the smile on his face and his heart is beating a mile a minute. Yet he doesn't want it to stop. For the first time since ending up in this room Inuyasha feels safe and okay. With your hands gently soothing him and your voice putting him at ease he knows it's alright, so long as he has you everything will be okay.

it's not something he ever gave much thought to but one moment becomes his lifeline 

He doesn't fall fast or hard. It's just a slow and gradual build that comes crashing down when he finally notices it 

That warmth and comfort around you has been there for so he never thought to question why it was there he just accepted it

Now he can see that it likely meant something more even then its just something he can't ignore anyone 

But he also struggles to just trust that feeling or the idea that you won't turn your back on him 

He's content to just stay in this room, with you comforting him and relaxing together 

Ignoring the stress of the world and the mission you all have to finish 

Maybe this won't change anything, maybe it'll change everything he's not really sure right now, but he does know that this feels right 

So, for however long this is going to last, he'll just enjoy and the rest can be dealt with later

I really hope you enjoyed this! Thank you for requesting it's always nice to try out new styles or characters I have yet to write for. Shout out to my dear friend Birdie who helped me out when I got stuck on this! We love Birdie. Have a good day or night, Lilly~ Also I noticed I never added this to my posts but if you see any spelling errors feel free to let me know.

[spitdrunken]

Do you have any sub!Riddle Rosehearts thoughts?

absolutely!!

notes: mention of mommy kink

Riddle is someone who is largely unfamiliar with kink, including concept such as subs and doms, outside some cursory searches he's made after hearing jokes from his peers. Outside of this, he simply hasn't thought about it much at all. Only when he starts having sex, does it pop into his head again. Riddle kind of... Struggles with sex, at first. He likes consistency and certainty, something he finds in the rules he tries to follow, and with sex that can be hard to find. Especially the first couple of time, it'll be somewhat of a messy and awkward, though not overall negative, experience. But Riddle will think deeply about all of this and seek to 'improve', which leads him down plenty of rabbit holes online.

Still, it's not likely for him to bring it up on his own. It's just a bit uncomfortable, and he doesn't really know what he's talking about. Riddle will try to naturally bring it up sometime (which probably comes off as anything except natural) in order to gauge your response. He is initially drawn to a more dominant role. In his mind, he's always leading in his actual life, enforcing rules and the like, so maybe he should take that kind of role here...? To him, it makes the most sense. But, he'd be willing to try letting you take the lead as well, and quickly discovers how enjoyable it is for him.

The exact opposite of what he found appealing in being dom, is what ends up drawing him to a more submissive role. It's nice and comforting to let someone take over the reins for once, and it helps him clear his head like nothing he's ever tried would. He's especially eager in receiving commands and following them to the best of his abilities. Most of all, he likes the praise he gets in return. Riddle wouldn't be interested in being on the receiving end of humiliation. He wants submissiveness to be like a warm, comforting blanket wrapped around him.

This yearning for comfort is what draws him to something like a mommy kink as well. A part of him is greatly embarrassed by it, but he likes having someone coo over him and tell him how good he's being, and how much he's loved. The idea of unconditional love and support makes him respond very well to this, and makes him show more neediness than usual. He'll respond very badly to any kind of joke about himself in regards to this, even if it's just light teasing. He's still self-conscious, and setting himself up to be very vulnerable here!

In general, he's sensitive during sex. He cums relatively easily, and lots, as he doesn't get off much on his own. Riddle is unaware of this himself, but his nipples are very sensitive to the touch, and he'd enjoy having them played with. He'd definitely be interested in something like anal, or being pegged.

It's hard for him to create time purely for himself within his busy schedule, but he'll always try to make time together with you. Letting you lead becomes a good way for him to deal with stress, besides it just being a pleasurable act in general. Still, Riddle being Riddle, he can really only let himself fully go when the rest of his schedule is cleared. It's far from the sexiest thing in the world, but sex with him often feels like it's slotted neatly somewhere in his time table, than something organic. Still, he tries his best during the act itself to make it as enjoyable for both of you as possible.

[rebouks]

Hello! I'm that anon who once asked you about the lots you use in your gameplay and whether you built them all. I'm so impressed that you create most of them yourself! But ever since you replied to that question, I've been trying to envision a lot for one of my upcoming gameplays, but I'm struggling to fully see it in my mind, so I was wondering if you'd mind giving some tips on your process of building your lots. Building is my weakest skill in the game, but I want to give it a try!

hello again anon!! i'm very flattered u think it's impressive 🥺 i truly love creating spaces for these guys! i'll try my best to kinda go into my process but be warned.. like anything else i do it's pretty much just chaos/winging it dkjsdkj (it'd be much easier if i used floorplans or smth simple so i could be like, here do this! but alas...)

okay i'm prolly gonna ramble a lot here but i mostly base my builds off random visions/future scenes that pop into my head or straight up vibes.. which isn't very helpful ik but hopefully if i explain it'll make a bit more sense!

so with Oscar's house above i knew i wanted it to be BIG, but i didn't want it to feel like a mansion they couldn't afford so i added some other houses on the lot and just gave em the biggest plot! i also knew i wanted it to be symmetrical, but only from the outside cos i wanted it to feel slightly chaotic on the inside, also hence the random tower addition on the left and the sunroom on the right.. like it used to be a big grand symmetrical "mansion" (prolly at the time it was built) but over the years kinda ended up as a convoluted mess left to rot until someone rescued it (yay for Oscar's impulsivity 🤸‍♀️) AND IT NEEDED AN ATTIC!! u kno cos where else would Clementine live?? 👻

so really i had no inspo pics or house plan layouts to go off here, just a vibe and an idea, i started with a rough shape and worked out all the kinks from there, then added the other lots.. be prepared to hate your wip and start over tho cos ig it's all part of the fun!

here we have an actual wip to use as an example! so with this one i basically knew i wanted a wrap around style house around a "courtyard" but since mt. komo is shit and doesn't have any decent sized lots we'll have to go with an L-shaped design and a third floor ig 😩 i started with the ground floor and just pissed around with the others until i ended up with smth just right, like anything else i do, building is just ruminating on an idea until i'm like.. yeah that works sdkjskj.. also handy to place the bare minimum furniture items as u go to get a feel of how the space does or doesn't work so u can fix it n stuff!

also feel free to make shit look strange if it works, for example these window placements look weird as hell on the outside, but real life houses aren't always symmetrical or perfect on the outside and we spend most of our time on the inside where the windows make perfect sense so.. yeah! i'm big on views from the INSIDE of the house so i just make stuff work, also big fan of using ivy/wall decs n stuff to "fix" the way it might look on the outside if needs be too..

the school i made for Robin n' co. was entirely built around this pool (cos it's IMPORTANT) and the fact that it had to have a glass roof (it just HAD to ok idk why but we must kneel to the vision when it strikes 🧎‍♀️) i tried to make the rest of it make sense around it tho, like maybe it was added on afterward so the rest is a pretty standard shape with offices n shit near the entrances etc.. ALSO (wait i actually need to explain smth else before we get to this also BUT BEAR WITH ME!)

ask yourself some questions (if u want? or just dl a house idk dskjdk)

i treat building similarly to writing and that means asking yourself some questions.. like you might ask why a character is doing/saying something, what happened in the past to make them this way? what're they aiming for in the future to choose these paths etc etc.. WELL.. what's this building for, who is it for, who chose to live here, who got stuck here, why do they like it, why do they hate it, etc etc.

we either get stuck somewhere we hate and it doesn't suit us, or we're lucky enough to choose somewhere that we love, but why? Oscar's house is sprawling and chaotic because they kinda are, and it suits them! all the random cupboards leading nowhere and the quirky additions are just perfect for them, if they were real people looking for a real house they'd view it and LOVE it, but other characters definitely would NOT 😅 the wip is neat and practical cos the people who're gonna live there are! 👀 and the school (see we got to that ALSO eventually) has that huge "grand" courtyard at the front that's actually pretty useless because it's a shitty comprehensive school that wants to give the image that it's decent, but actually it's a bit shit and there's nothing going on in the back, nowhere for the kids to play outside and very limited resources/equipment for them either.. like everything is built the way it is for a reason, which is why i think i find it so impossible to use other ppls builds, cos they don't fit all these visions in my mind...

ok i'm gonna shut up now but i HOPE this rambling mess somewhat explains how i go about starting a build and why.. i'm not sure i can help with the vision part since your brain is your own but floorplan websites and things like pinterest or even just google images are great for giving you ideas if you're struggling!

[darlingkirstein]

can I ask how you go about developing your stories/plot? I think coming up with an idea is (semi) easy because ✨vibes✨ but how to you actually turn that into a story? there's so much (character, backstory, plot, arcs, etc.)

I'm anxious to know how it is your going about developing home beckons the wanderer. Are you using any sort of method? I can't see you using a "point a to point b" method. It feels more complicated.

I know what I want to write but developing that is daunting. (In general and time wise)

Are you at all getting impatient with the development of your stories? Sometimes I forget a story can't just instantly be entirely plotted within the span of a week.

I apologize if this was too invasive, feel free not to answer, but if you do, I greatly appreciate it <3 take care love

it's not invasive at all!!!! these are all super great questions — and i hope my answers can be helpful and ease some fears!! and ofc, always feel free to ask more questions if you have them! :) i'll include some screenshots from my planning documents because i am a visual person so maybe you are too and that'll help :)

every story is different for me, and some are far more demanding and complicated than others. but, generally, it's outline, outline, outline. i have never been able to just write without having an outline backing up, unless it was for a one-shot or something more simple. another tool i have found extremely helpful and honestly essential for me is discussing my barebones ideas with others and watching them grow with the combined brain power behind it. if you have people in your corner supporting your ideas, let them help you!

so, for developing a story, start with your major idea. then, just start coming up with little ideas, anything, doesn't need to be in order. discuss with your friends, whatever helps! write those ideas down somewhere. i personally use a combination of my notes app, google docs, and the app notion to organize my thoughts.

notion tends to be where i start — i'll jot down little ideas i have, basic stuff needed to kickstart the rest. here's an example for the cult au:

google docs tends to be where i flesh whatever i did in notion out and have it more accessible. here's an example from thespian's coquetry:

for me personally, i have recently started spending a lot of energy into the development of the story/background before writing it. that also tends to be why i take forever to update/publish. let me get into the four things you specifically mentioned! characters, plot, backstory, arcs.

characters: stories depend on characters, and they need to feel real and have the capability to connect with the reader! i myself sometimes struggle with feeling like i don't do a well enough job with this. the main thing here is motivation — what drives this character, what is their goal/purpose, what makes them do whatever they are doing for the story? this goes hand in hand with their personality and their actions, so deciding what motivates them is important! this also ties into their backstory, so yeah it's important! their motivation will progress the story and explain their every action, so start there!

i can reference hbtw here actually, because it may be the story of mine where the character motivations are clearest — eren is motivated to go home to his family again, while mikasa is motivated to sustain herself financially by taking eren on their little quest. these motivations kickstart the plot and are essential to how it'll progress.

tldr; start with motivation, build from there, go to personality, hobbies, interests, quirks, etc.

backstory: this can be two things! either it's the actual world-building itself or its individual character backstories. since you're particularly interested in hbtw, I'll reference its development!

this story has been an absolute beast in terms of backstory/world-building development. this is why i say my process is dependent on the story, because this one is very involved and time-consuming. this is the place where you'll need to be the most patient if you're writing anything with a complicated world to develop. i am attempting to make hbtw as original as possible, so that involves a lot of building from scratch. right now, with the help of @strscrossed, i am working on the development of the eight regions in eldevane — this involves geography, economics, people, religion, history, and more. for example, i developed a history of eldevane's rulers and major historical events because, even though the story takes place decades later, i wanted to lay down a strong foundation to make the world feel real. this story is kinda stuck in world-building hell right now because i want most of that finished before proceeding because of how much eremika will be directly interacting with the world and its little intricacies. this is a daunting process, and its time-consuming! more on the frustration later.

basically, overall, my method for backstory development is to take it one step at a time and go slowly. there are also a lot of great resources for developing the world! http://arcadia.net/Cruinne/DnD/Articles/worldbuilding.html#language — this is an extremely (maybe overkill) detailed list of world-building things to consider in fantasy/sci-fi/etc. settings. the details matter, basically! also, consider your favorite medias and look at all the details there that feel small and inconsequential but develop the world and make it what it is. same with characters. what do you find interesting about this character's backstory? it is no danger to study fiction that you consider to be great? if you love it, you can learn from it :))

arcs: gonna do this first because it leads into the next bullet point. when you're starting to develop the plot, what helps me personally is putting a little shape to the plot, dividing it into crucial sections that are encompassed by one major plot point/resolution. if you divide your story into chunks, it may make development easier. for thespian's coquetry, i divided the story into three 'acts' and an epilogue to divide the plot more evenly in my head and make it less overwhelming.

this way, i'm able to break things down — when i think of a new plot point, i sift it between the three parts; where does it fit most? this makes placement of things less overwhelming, because it'll at least be confined to act i, ii, or iii. so decide these major headings and i find it'll help you compartmentalize things more accessibly.

plot: this is where its tricky for me. i have the exact same problem with every single multi-chapter story that i write; i know the beginning, and i know the ending, but it's everything in between that is muddled and less clear.

so, if you're me, you imagine the start, then (or oftentimes first) you imagine the ending — now, what has to happen between those two points for the ending to feel earned? what plot points will draw the characters closer to this pre-destined conclusion? most important in this is conflict. what conflicts happen to drive the plot? there will more than likely be multiple answers. there will be the overarching conflict/challenge (the dangerous journey of taking eren back home in hbtw is the overarching challenge) — but there will also be mini-challenges that serve the big one overhead. this can be inter-character conflict, quarrels, fights, disagreements, etc., but it can also be more external — challenges in their journey, little roadblocks that must be overcome to progress the story and maintain interest. there is only so long that a story can sustain itself without some degree of conflict; if things are smooth sailing forever, what's the point? if eren and mikasa's journey to eren's family happened without bumps along the way, sure it might be cute and wholesome, but it's not interesting, and the beautiful thing about stories is how they can interest and ensnare the reader's attention.

so, create little conflicts, big ones and important ones, and smaller ones more readily resolved. conflict drives the story. i think if there's one thing to take away from this total yap session of mine, it's that. seek conflict, and you'll find a plot.

please let me know if you have any questions or want me to clarify anything about everything i just said!!! i know it's a lot!! but i wanna be super helpful for your story!

now, you're absolutely right about hbtw being a very non-linear process. most, if not all, of my stories are developed like that. you develop as the inspiration takes you — i have been jumping between developing backstory/world-building which has bled into plot point development. it's one big system that works together — figuring out one thing often leads to another eureka moment in another aspect. me and stella developed the religious ceremony for eren's home region and that bled right into the story.

to answer your last question, ABSOLUTELY. i'm a very impatient person in all aspect of life, but i find it so frustrating when the ideas in my head cannot be immediately translated onto page. i was at first trying to rush through hbtw world-building before i was starting to burn myself out and realized that doing that was counterproductive and a total inspiration killer. this has been a very big challenge for me with all my stories. i'm rather meticulous, and i need to know the details and everything before starting, but sometimes i just want to be done with the planning and plotting so i can start. it's a perfectly normal feeling (or, i hope it is LOL)! you're eager to get your story somewhere, and you feel like there's an invisible wall that you keep banging your head against. i know that feeling well! writing can be an exhausting process, but it's the end result, finishing a story/chapter and sharing it with the world that feels very rewarding.

my overall tips for story development:

be patient and go slow — stories deserve nourishment, not ham-fisted neglect! your story deserves the time it needs to flourish!

jot down every idea you have. every single one. even if you're not sure you'll use it — better to have and not need then to need and not have. you really never know!

it's okay to go out of order! don't force yourself into a linear path if that doesn't feel right — it's never felt right to me! develop in whatever order you need to develop.

lean on your friends if they're willing! i probably would've given up on a lot of my stories already if not for my friends. (special shoutout to @random-millennial, @likesunsetorange, @strscrossed, @sinigangsta-ao3, @karizard-ao3, and others for always being willing to help me/listen.)

use online writing resources! there's so many articles and reddit posts (feels shameful to recommend reddit) and such with experienced writers happy to share their experiences and provide advice!

model after media you enjoy — can be books, movies, shows, manga, whatever!! figure out what you think the creators/authors/screenwriters did well and consider emulating it. you obviously like it for a reason! everyone gets inspired by someone else. don't feel like you're not a 'real writer/artist' because you reached out for resources or inspiration. you are real, and you're doing it!

HAVE FUN!!!! i'm a hypocrite because i often take all this way too seriously and get easily frustrated but promise, it's more fulfilling when you're really having fun doing it :))

i hope some of this was helpful!!!! apologies for the total yap session, i know this might be sorta overwhelming??? hope not! like i said, feel free to reach out with more questions, and i'd love to help you out individually if you'd be interested! all love and best wishes on the development of your story — manifesting nothing but success your way, and thank you for trusting me to help!