#and still critical thinking skills are necessary

[auroras-void]

There's a famous golfer or something who was asked something like "What do you think about all these wannabes who show up with fancy clubs and can't even hit par?" to which he replied "I think that's good, it'll make a much bigger difference to them than it would for me".

My own example is when I was first learning how to put in roofing nails, I had this crappy bottom shelf hammer with a handle mostly made of plastic, and I just flat out could not drive any nails whenever I hit the smallest little knot in the wood. If I tried I would bend them, break them, I'd hit them over and over again and they wouldn't go the slightest bit farther in.

As soon as I switched to a slightly nicer one with a steel handle that had better balance and more weight to it I got the technique down in a matter of minutes.

My dad who has a lot more experience and strength than me took the cheap one and he was able to make do with it just fine, and today I can sort of use it too, but it's still considerably more difficult to use for me.

Skill and experience can compensate for crappy tools sometimes, but having the right equipment is often necessary to make it accessible enough to build that skill in the first place.

It's an experience that's easy to forget in a world where we're surrounded by so much cheap mass production slop, but there are so many instances where you just so much as pick up a quality tool made by someone who understands what it's for inside and out, and you can instantly feel how perfectly refined for the task it is. To the point that using it feels almost effortless.

For certain skills, not having the right tools can evan make a task outright impossible. So much of learning how to pick locks for example is just knowing what the right tool for the job is, there are some locks you just flat out can't pick with a standard hook and tensioning rod. And some where having the right tool will let you open it faster than using the key or dialing the combination. It's a spectrum too, there are a lot of things in the trades that you can do with simple tools with a bit of effort, but having something specialized for the task will still completely trivialize it, and as you pick up experience, part of the job is knowing your own limits and knowing when you need to get one of those tools instead of toughing it out by hand. (And also quite critically! knowing that those tools even exist where you can get them and what they can do! Or in some cases, how to make your own! Knowledge can often be more valuable to have than practice, and some areas where being a professional just means having the right equipment)

It's also not necessarily the same for everyone too, someone with more upper body strength than me would probably be less deterred by a poorly balanced hammer. Someone with less probably would find the hammer I use to still be difficult. Each person picks up the skills in slightly different ways.

My roommate thought she hated cooking and then she moved in with me and started using knives that were actually sharp and realized cooking is fun. Sometimes I wonder how many other situations are like this. It's not you, or your skills. It's just the lack of correct tools. Everyone knows you need a knife in the kitchen but no one mentions a sharpening stone.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

I am so glad about your booktube post. Their entitled, condescending and frankly bigoted behavior is something I am frustrated but utterly powerless about.

I am particularly crept out by just how many of them use social justice language to both justify their hatred for everything and everybody out of the norm and make it harder to spot.

The most blatant and most disturbing example I saw for this is someone named crowcaller. If you don't look at the bigger picture and don't know these books it seems like she criticizes sexist, ableist and queerphobic tropes in obscure bad YA books from 2000-2010. Very necessary work, and without context her criticism seem reasonable and rooted in real life problems.

Then she did that with books I had actually read. And oh by did she not just interpret it in the most bad faith possible and completely ignored the Zeitgeist and conventions and history of the genre, she also just. Did not pick up anything but the most obvious plot beats, character motivations and messages, and then got condescending about the book being too shallow and openly cheered on the downfall of this series.

She also constantly presents herself as this fighter for minorities rights, especially disabled peoples rights, but then I caught her talking about a mental health issue she never had and has no experience with as if she 100% knew how this works and how this needs to be portrayed. I know this issue, and what she claims is only something a small part of the community feels. However, it is what aligns with neurotypicals automatic horror about this, so these opinions are the only ones that spread.

After that, everything fell into place. How she writes "I've seen it all" about tumblr, quirkily saying how good she knows this site without being one of *those* tumblr users. How she made her entire career out of mocking books targeted at girls. How she doesn't acknowledge the things that are progressive about these books at all. How she never outright says how teen girls are so silly and stupid and inferior for liking these books, and how [insert ableist slur] people who hyperfixate on uncool things like these are, but it resonates in every video she does.

I am queer and autistic too, and as I was still too naive to spot it, I was so glad that someone like me for once managed to create a platform and be heard. Turns out she could only do that, because unlike me and most other queer autistic people, she is confident to the point of not being able to see just how unqualified she is, and even more, she only says exactly what neurotypicals (and the more assimilated queer autistic people) want to hear.

And I get it, it feels good to think you are superior to those pathetic boy obsessed girls. Which probably makes this such an effective tactic.

I hate how platforms only ever push people like this. And I hate that people like this are able to shape the publics opinion when they have the least skills for that.

I hate how they get away with hiding their loathing behind feminism, or anti-ableism, or queer advocacy while mocking everybody in these groups who doesn't manage to conform.

Now, crowcaller is far from the only Booktuber who uses these tactics. But it struck me particularly much because she as an queer autistic person really should know better than behaving like this. Peak Pick-Me. And also... using your minority identities and progressive beliefs to hide your bigotry behind is just so gross.

And I hate just how little people seem to pick that up.

I'm gonna be real dude I think my nitpicks of various videos and whatever you've got going on specifically with this crowcaller person are like. maybe totally different issues.

I'd also like to point out that re: your first sentence, referring to the entirety of booktube as "entitled, condescending and frankly bigoted" as if every person posting about books on youtube is sone sort of hive mind is exactly the kind of unsubstantiated overgeneralization that I have been dogging on various booktubers for making. I am by no means trying to expose all of booktube as corrupt or innately bad, namely because that's impossible to do for hundreds if not thousands of unaffiliated creatives with wholly different styles and interests.

[psin314]

some memes with murat once again

rate your oc under the cut (tagged by @doctormur thank you!!)

Compassion: 6/10 (depends. almost never felt it towards his targets, cus he knew it will make him feel bad. usually drank like 2 bottles of wine if a contract was "hard".)

Bitterness: 5/10 (at certain periods of his life it was like 10/10. 12/10 when he was falsely accused of betraying the house.)

Happiness: 2/10 (2 points from lucanis' love)

Politeness: 2 or 9/10 (can talk to you very politely and nicely. if necessary. if not necessary and you made him angry, then you'll hear a lot of not very nice words in antivan. loves to swear.)

Chivalry: 6/10 (usually very kind and polite towards women and someone who's in trouble /weak)

Pride: 4/10 (criticizes himself often but if you'll dare to say that his skills are bad or he did something utterly wrong he'll be so much offended oh boy)

Honesty: 7/10 (lies if needed. very good at it. prefers not to. lies about his feelings usually.)

Bravery: 8/10 (bro can get his shit together while facing a dragon but scared to kiss his lil crow bro cus what if he doesn't like me and im pressuring him and what if i will embarrass myself)

Recklessness: 2/10 (tries to use his brain usually)

Ambition: 2/10 (his life goal is make lucanis happy)

Loyalty: 10/10 (a loyal dog in a traumatized man's body)

Love: 10/10 (lucanis food and knifes)

Sense of Family: 6/10 (antivan crows are his family. it's a very bad one but it's the only one he has.)

Attractiveness: 10/10 (points are given by lucanis. or by these anons in my ask box... and not anons sometimes. horny on main? good. i respect that.)

Sex Drive: 5/10 (lucanis definitely makes him feel at least 9. and he will do everything to make his man fall asleep very tired but very happy!! :D)

also something about character inspiration:

harry du bois - i was thinking about him while creating murat. and he was the only character i immediately thought of. for other 5 guys i had to lie down and think.

that guy from fight or flight that looks like murat - he looks like murat!!! i watched half of the movie and the dude's also good at killing people, was fired from his job and started drinking. and ALSO i want to see murat in a cute pink shirt too now.

puss in boots - same level of charisma + banderas' voice (haha sorry but british accent isn't canon for murat although i like the voice...)

edward kenway - i played the game for like a couple hours and i remember nothing expect shanties. i love shanties so much. but i just FEEL that edward and murat have something in common expect being blond ofc. i FEEL it. (also i need to continue playing ac4 asap but i also miss my boy connor and also my boy ezio.......... nnngghhhh)

eddie brock (films version) - losers + big soft lips

flynn rider - more resembles young murat but still

[platossoulmates]

i will never understand people who are team iron man in civil war because it is LITERALLY a captain america movie. you are supposed to sympathize with tony stark and the world governments, and understand that yes, reform is needed (which steve UNDERSTANDS and agrees with), but also understand that what they’re enacting is morally wrong. the sokovia accords (much like the mutant registration act in x-men 2000) require the registration AND tracking of all enhanced individuals as well as agreeing to prison without trial should the government decide it necessary (they go into detail about the legislation in the sokovia accords in agents of shield, which, yes, is technically no longer canon, but this aired long before it moves off track of the main marvel timeline, when it was still following canon post winter soldier movie). it strips all inhumans, mutants, people who have been experimented on (all of which is out of these people’s control) of quite literally all of their constitutional rights. tony stark is not in the right just because steve didn’t tell him about his parents. the politics of the movie are so deep please use your critical thinking skills

[toxycodone]

The way i need kabru to teach me the anatomy of the human body by using himself as a model and he’s explaining how all the vital points are laid out but he’s struggling because my hands are dipping a little too low below his belt and squeezing his neck a bit too firmly

vital points (kabru of utaya x reader)

wc. 1.5k

cw. romantic/sexual tension, nothing explicit

No one in Kabru's party is a particularly skilled dungeon crawler. Despite all efforts it seems his party is always taken out before they can do any true exploring of the dungeon's secrets.

Therefore, being the excellent leader that he is, Kabru has decided to take it upon himself to give out combat lessons. And it's only logical he starts with you first. Mickbell has his own specialties--poison darts and all. Kabru's not sure if he'd even be interested in lessons. And even if he was, would he even pay attention? It's probably not worth the trouble. Kuro is well, Kuro. What part of that demihuman's body isn't a weapon? His sharp senses make him one of, if not the most well-equipped members of his team. It's the main reason Kabru keeps a demi-human, one partly monster, like him around. Aside from the fact he's a package deal with the half-foot. Kabru's sure Kuro could make it throigh the dungeon on his own.

Daya is the second best. Strong. Capable. A weapons expert. She can take a hit and throw it back with ease. Rin and Holm are the magic users. Combat would likely be wasted on them. Rin's frail, but she already has similar knowledge to Kabru as she grew up with the same foster mom. And Holm...likely wouldn't agree to lessons. He's maintained a commitment to do no harm to others unless absolutely necessary. Kabru's not going to try to convince him to learn his way around a weapon and how to maim unless it's completely critical.

However. That leaves you.

You're different. Not entirely useless, but not entirely skilled on the other hand. Kabru's still trying to figure you out. Quite the enigma you are to him. He's come to the conclusion you're a jack-of-all-trades type of figure. For now, at least. You don't exactly take away from the party. But you're not hindering their descent, either. It's intriguing from an anthropological standpoint, yet infuriating from his stance as leader of his party.

But again, he wonders what skills you do possess, exactly. Everyone has their specialties, be it what it may. He wonders if combat might be something he can help you succeed--no, excel--in. He'll bring out the best in you via this method, and come to learn more about you in the process. Two birds with one stone. In the back of Kabru's mind, his own desire rears its head. The desire to be close to you. He's not exactly sure why or where this desire stems from. However...it can be satiated via a combat lesson. Three birds, he muses. You pique his interest in a variety of ways.

When it first comes to combat, jumping right in is never ideal. The first means of success comes from mapping out vital points. The human anatomy is a good start. Dungeons are full of demi-human and human adversaries alike. It's important to know them for one to defend themselves, unarmed or not. And these vitals seem to remain uniform among all creatures.

Head. Neck. Abdomen. Groin.

The four major sensitive groups one should know. He's starting small for now. Too much information could be overwhelming. It wouldn't be worth to teach you so much at once that

You're in front of him now, bright eyed and bushy tailed. Not in a literal sense. A metaphorical one. Well, your eyes are bright. He's always liked them. Not that it matters. Why is he thinking of this?

Kabru shakes his head a little, trying to steady his thoughts. Back to business.

"The first lesson in defense is understanding anatomy." Kabru muses, looking through his notes. There's no real time to fetch a book at this point. Or a model. Kabru's not necessarily gifted at art either. Not that a simple drawing would do.

He can serve in its place, as an example. A physical specimen would be the most insightful. You're probably a hands on learner, he decides. It's definitely not as an excuse to have you close to him. Definitely not. Not that he's entirely against that, though.

"Starting with the head. There's plenty of areas you can exploit there," Kabru points to his eyes. You follow suit. They're such a striking blue. Hypnotic. Mesmerizing.

"Eyes are the easiest to access. They're the first thing humans notice. You can predict someone's movements by figuring out where they're looking towards. It'll likely show you where they intend to attack." Kabru leans forward absentmindedly. "They're also sensitive. Even a simple move can distract or blind an opponent. Don't be afraid to strike there. Even though Mickbell might tease you for fighting dirty. All's fair in dungeon combat."

You chuckle and agree. Kabru's pleased his attempt at humor landed. It seems to lighten the air around you two.

"Next, the neck. There's two main points here you want to recognize." Kabru takes your hand, offering a reassuring smile as he does so, then presses it to the underside of his neck. They're a little cold, you note. And almost dainty. His hands aren't particularly calloused. He must take good care of them.

He guides your index finger to the skin on the outside of his neck. His skin carries a hint of heat to it.

"This is where the external jugular is located. It's one of the most important veins in the body. It carries blood to the head and neck area. Just a simple cut can slice through it. A simple turn of the head is enough to expose it."

He moves your hand more inward, now pressing slightly into the divot close to his trachea. His chest rises slowly, then falls. There's a faint beating under the skin now. Kabru's pulse.

"The internal jugular is here. If you can land a hit here, do it. You'll have to go deep and make sure you slice clean through the skin. It can disable a foe in seconds."

You try to keep your mind on the lesson. But his skin is remarkably soft. And smooth. You're close enough now to count his stubble. Well, you would if there was any to count. How does Kabru manage to keep himself so well groomed on dungeon excursions. Maybe you could count those thick, lovely eyelashes inste--

A simple call of your name breaks your thoughts. Not only were you not paying attention, but your fingerpads dig slightly into his skin. You struggle to find an explanation for your absentmindedness, then decide to pin it on you being hyperfocused.

Kabru, ever so forgiving, decides to move on without further question. Internally, you thank him for preserving your dignity. What's left of it. You're almost certain he's caught onto the fact your no longer solely doing this for the sake of combat knowledge.

"The abdomen hosts a majority of the body's necessary organs. The lung's can be pierced easily through the ribcage." Deft fingers lead you across the expanse of his chest. You're a bit shocked. Without his armor, Kabru's a lot smaller. Being revived time and time again has left its mark on his body. There's still power to him though. His muscle isn't all gone. You can surmise your leader has quite the lithe build.

Kabru continues to go on, despite you not listening. He likes to talk about anatomy, for one. But he's also trying to hide his own amusement at your reaction to touching him. You're admiring him in your own way. Which means you may harbor similar feelings towards him that he has towards you. Interesting. He takes note of this as your hands are guided lower.

Stomach. Liver. Kidneys.

And last is the groin.

Kabru's puzzled. He didn't really consider how this would play out in his hands-on anatomy lesson. Desire clouded his mind earlier, but now that he can peek through it...the realization of the situation sets in. How should he proceed? He can tell by your reactions you're fascinated by the lesson at the least. Kabru's sure you need this lesson. The groin is probably the most effective place to punch, kick, or slice in a pinch. As inappropriate as it is, in general and a workplace sense, he still wants you to keep touching him.

His hands leave yours. He's leaving it up to you, now. Whether you choose to continue or not will tell him what he wants to know--if he's been going too far or not.

"The groin is the last area you should become familiar with. I'm sure you're aware, but it's particularly sensitive." Kabru's not sure whether to look at you or your hands. He goes for the latter when your fingers trail over his belt, threatening to move towards the linen of his pants below.

"The genital area, more specifically. No matter the sex. A swift punch, kick. Even just grasping it. You can get an advantage in combat. Either as a distraction, or...."

Your fingers keep going lower. He's sure you aren't paying attention, now far too invested in your personal lesson on anatomy. There's a slight bulge in his pants. It's stiffens when you ghost over it.

Kabru's breath stifles. He swallows his spit like it's cement.

"A-and that's the gist of it."

Kabru stutters for the first time ever, you think. Your curious hands flee his body as a result, now returning to your sides. That was...exhilirating. So simple, yet...you can tell the two of you are craving more.

"Uh," You're first to break the awkward tension. "Thank you, Kabru. For the lesson. It was very informative." A certain tone lingers on the last word. Kabru can practically see the air quotations around it. His dark skin deepens with color. For once in your span of knowing him, Kabru's eyes don't tear into you.

"Right. It's my duty as your leader, after all. Thank you for listening. We can go back to the others now."

Kabru is known for his penchant for understanding others. Almost being able to predict their next moves with ease. However, your next move is wildly unpredictable, tossing out everything he once assumed about your attitude and demeanor.

You ask when the next lesson is. You'd like to study anatomy-perhaps his anatomy, more thoroughly.

And what he also doesn't expect is his eagerness to respond. The next lesson can't come soon enough.

[vi-gilante-1010]

"Oh, you think having a wealth gap makes a couple inherently toxic? Sounds like YOU'RE the classist!"

That's a sentiment I see Caitvi superfans use a lot. It dulls down the discussion surrounding what makes Caitvi so unhealthy by the time the show's reached its end. But that's not where the criticism inherently comes from, so I kinda wanted to make a post about it to untangle the webs of what I believe makes Caitvi's "happy" ending ring hollow from a narrative standpoint, as well as why so many in the critical tags see it to be upholding an unhealthy power dynamic rooted in classism.

Arc 1: The Buildup

(I'm not gonna harp on the whole Grey thing, because while we could argue all day about the political and ethical implications of Caitlyn weaponizing the Grey, it's ultimately not directly important to talking about the relationship between Caitlyn and Vi.)

Vi helped Caitlyn gas the factories and streets without arguing. While she was uncomfortable doing so, as we can see from the visuals we get off her throughout their hunting for Jinx in arc 1, she can't bring herself to argue. This opens by speaking on a level of discomfort Vi has with voicing issues she has with Caitlyn's behavior, and honest communication of boundaries is a core component of a healthy relationship. But, at this point in time, she believes that the ends justify the means, and believes Caitlyn's goal to kill Jinx is necessary.

Later, when they actually find Jinx, Vi realizes that she was wrong. Jinx is still Powder, just very, very broken, and that she's someone who matters. And not just to her. So she blocks Caitlyn's shot. She blocks her because Isha is far too close for it to be a safe shot. And while Caitlyn is a skilled marksman, there is a child blocking the shot now, a child that invokes memories of Powder. Though Caitlyn doesn't want to hurt Isha, there's much too high of a chance of her getting caught in the crossfire, and Isha is the agent for Jinx's potential redemption, something that Vi is able to see in that moment.

Caitlyn's response to her girlfriend not letting her take the shot is to call her blood tainted and hit her in a healing wound. When she looks back, there's not regret on her face, but resolution. Vi has failed her. So she doesn't say anything, because like Caitlyn knows, actions speak louder than words, and she walks away and leaves her crying. The way her eyebrows furrow and her eyes slightly squint, the position of her standing above Vi and looking down at her, and the gritting of her jaw all convey determination. Resolve. As far as she's concerned, she's entirely justified in what she said and did, or at the most generous, is lying to herself.

This is, quite frankly, not a healthy response to failure in any way, shape, or form. And while being angry is understandable, calling your partner's blood inherently dirty for her family ties and attacking her is absolutely unacceptable. Calling it a "one-time" thing implies that if abuse happens once, then it wasn't real abuse. But that is abusive behavior, and worse than that, it's a response that Vi believes is her fault.

Arc 2: The Damage

Arc 2 shows us how both Caitlyn and Vi have changed over the span of several months, and that both of them are unhappy in their respective positions. However, the positions in question are wildly different, and speak on how they respond to grief, pain, and perceived betrayal.

Whenever we see Caitlyn, we see her attempting to control every aspect of her position to the best of her ability. She's accepted her role to lead Zaun into an enforced martial law, and is given imagery that intentionally invokes the idea of a dictator. Those that protest her, the Jinxers, her enemies that revere her most hated foe, are given shots and an MV that calls as many parallels and references to the real-world BLM movement and the riot gear the police use. All of this calls attention to the audience that Caitlyn has become the worst kind of enforcer. And while Ambessa was whispering into her ear, she still made the conscious choice to order these things.

She listened to Ambessa because Ambessa catered to what an angry and vengeful Caitlyn wanted, which was to be justified in the situation. Caitlyn has gone from a naive fresh-faced enforcer that believed she was doing good, to a would-be dictator that can go above even the Council that takes a young cadet to bed in an effort to fill the void. And while this might not be the direction a lot of people wanted to see from her character, it makes sense. Caitlyn's greatest struggle growing up was being babied due to her status. She felt as though no one would ever take her seriously and was pushed by the need to prove herself and enact a change. It's a tale as old as time, characteristic of a young, wealthy, fresh-faced adult who initially goes in with dreams to make positive change, only for any tragedy to befall them. She leans heavy and hard on the ideals, the status, and the resources she gets from said background and uses them in her attempt to feel in control of her life. It's complex, human, but devastating to anyone who stands in her path to control.

Vi has done the opposite. Due to her extensive trauma from growing up in a dangerous neighborhood and 7 years falsely imprisoned and abused by her jailers, Vi processes her negative feelings through action, and in an effort to stay afloat in Zaun, becomes an underground pit fighter. While we only get an MV of this time, we can see just how much worse her mental health has become, with her pushing herself to her physical limits constantly, living in a dingy apartment, and diving headfirst into an alcoholic lifestyle. When Jinx does show up, despite having saved her at the end of arc 1, she's decidedly unhappy seeing her, because Caitlyn's outburst has made her feel like she was the one in the wrong that day. But she wasn't.

The TLDR here is that when Caitlyn feels betrayed, she lashes out physically and tries to take total control. When she's wronged, she hurts others. But when Vi feels betrayed and hurt, she takes it out on herself, destroying herself from guilt and pushing people away. When she's wronged, she hurts herself. The ways they both lash out are a recipe for what can quickly become a very, very toxic relationship, because regardless of who's right or wrong when the couple argues, or if a tragedy strikes the both of them, it is the same character who'll consistently receive the consequences.

That doesn't make them inherently unable to have a healthy relationship. But in order for it to be healthy and stable, both characters have to be willing to put active work into the relationship and themselves to get there. We've already seen once that they aren't able to do that when push comes to shove, but that was in the immediate aftermath of a great tragedy.

When they meet again at the end of arc 2, they form a shaky re-alliance to try and stop Ambessa. But the underlying context of why this happens isn't fantastic, at least not for Caitlyn. Vi is still angry, but she's also someone who's willing to forgive. She's dealt with loss since childhood- her parents, her brothers, her adoptive father and sister, and then Caitlyn. She's just gotten her father and sister back, and did so because she accepted that their being changed didn't mean they were different people. She's extending that same possibility to Caitlyn.

Caitlyn, on the other hand, has become increasingly more frustrated because she's realized that she was manipulated by Ambessa- IE, she wasn't in control. Even after her pain, and her abandonment of Vi, she was still manipulated. Now Vi was next to her again, and Caitlyn does still want her. She likes Vi's fire, her sexiness, her toughness, and her loyalty. Even when burned, Vi is always open to giving another chance. She did so with Jinx. She will do so with her. And that means Caitlyn can't lose her.

Arc 3: Happy Couple =/= Healthy Couple

When Vi and Caitlyn are together again in Piltover, Vi argues to free Jinx. Caitlyn won't do it, and when Vi won't listen to why she believes that's a bad idea, she lashes out both verbally and physically. Again. She throws the boat in her hand out towards Vi. It's a kneejerk reaction, yes, and it doesn't do any physical damage. But the fact of the matter is that when she was angry, Caitlyn's instinct was to lash out at Vi, because Vi was calling her out for half a year of being complicit in systemic violence. This immediately makes it clear that what Caitlyn did to Vi with her rifle in Act 1 cannot be referred to as a "one-time thing", that she was too full of grief for her mother to think clearly, that she was never violent again. She was. This, too, is violence.

This may not be common knowledge, but abusing the environment around you is a known warning sign of abusers. Slamming doors when angry, breaking things, throwing things, so on and so forth, are all signs of a lack of ability to regulate your emotions, and emerge by taking it out on the environment around you. Caitlyn has now exhibited this behavior as a pattern, and has directed said behavior at the person she loves twice. This is wrong, this is a pattern, and perhaps most importantly, this is not called out as such.

Caitlyn and Vi both feel as though they're drifting. We know that Vi just wants stability from the people she loves, and wants those people to stay what she believes them to be. She's extended forgiveness to Jinx out of faith. She's now done so for Caitlyn, but Caitlyn is pushing her away again. Caitlyn, meanwhile, wants control. She needs to have people in her life that trust her to do what she believes is right, regardless of whether or not she actually is. So she confronts Jinx, the person most important to Vi, the person that's consistently at the crux of their arguments. And she tries to convince herself that they are equals. She committed crimes for power, but so did Jinx, so that gives her some justification. But she's wrong, as she learns, because Jinx doesn't try to justify herself. She owns her wrongs, and doesn't want forgiveness for them. At every step of her and Vi's reconciliation, Jinx was acting for Vi's sake. Caitlyn is not. And now Jinx believes that acting in Vi's sake is to go away.

The sex scene is the culmination of Caitvi's relationship, and is extremely effective at demonstrating exactly how Caitlyn is the one in control and how Vi has been broken. And astoundingly, it seems to do so by complete accident. When Vi is trying to let out her feelings and be vulnerable, expressing how her worst fears for Jinx running and leaving her again have come to pass, Caitlyn flirts.

"Did you really think I needed all the guards at the hexgates? Sorry to say; you've grown a bit predictable."

Caitlyn doesn't try to empathize, or listen, or actually be any kind of emotional support for Vi. Her voice drops lower, she leans in a bit, and she almost brags about being the reason why Vi was able to free Jinx in the first place. 'Wow, look at me, I used my position at the top of the enforcers to move the guards for you. Isn't that sexy? Your freeing Jinx was because I let you.' But for Vi, someone desperate and abandoned and alone, it just reads as- 'I helped you. That means you're not alone.'

Then they fuck in the cell Caitlyn has command over, in the building Vi was forcefully held in for seven years. And worse, it's Vi who's pleasuring Caitlyn throughout. Vi, a former prisoner, pleasures the jailer inside the cell she commands. Supposedly, this is meant to be framed as Vi 'reclaiming her trauma', and I don't doubt that that was the intention, judging by the choice of music and Caitvi's final scene, but that isn't how it appears, even if Caitlyn herself wasn't the one jailing Vi specifically.

Now, there is nuance to be had here. While decidedly not a good partner, Caitlyn does still have genuine love for Vi. She makes a point to interrupt and tell her about Maddie first, and even shows visible regret at having attacked Vi with the gun in the past. These were both things she did to push Vi away and try to force her out of her life, and while they were both choices she made, they're choices that, months later, she's come to regret.

And that's realistic, because abusing someone doesn't mean you don't love them. Abusers are entirely capable of feeling love for their victims, and can sometimes even delude themselves into believing that their abuse is what's best for said victims, so that they'll stay together. That's something that's easy to forget, but it's true. Abusers aren't one dimensional, but that doesn't absolve them of their actions.

After all is said and done, we see Caitlyn examining the ventilation system once more, and finding the route by which Jinx could have lived. She smiles to herself, and then she keeps it to herself. Vi, who was absolutely devastated at the supposed sacrifice of her sister and father again in one fell swoop, who's already lost so many people, who never stops fighting for the people she loves if there's a chance they're out there, is kept in the dark. Caitlyn knows her girlfriend. If Vi catches wind of Jinx even just potentially being alive, she will go after her. Because her sister will always come first. Caitlyn knows that. And she doesn't say anything.

You can argue that this is Caitlyn respecting Jinx's wish to disappear. You can argue that this is Caitlyn giving up on revenge, and, well, it is. But it's more than just that. This is her allowing Jinx to kill herself. This is her allowing Vi's only other connection to fade into obscurity. And this is Caitlyn keeping Vi to herself. When she asks Vi what song she's humming, Vi shrugs it off as unimportant, even though that song is the one Powder sang when they searched for their parents all that time ago. She's singing her sister away to their family, and doesn't give this context to Caitlyn because it'll mean nothing to her. Even now, Vi's accepted that Jinx and Caitlyn would never be able to both be in her life. But she doesn't have to choose if Jinx is dead. If Caitlyn was solely letting it go to let go of revenge, she could have left the map for Vi to see on her own, let her go to find her sister the way she let her free Jinx.

This is the power dynamic. This is where the classism seeps in. Caitlyn has resources and power and control. Caitlyn can control the flow of information. Caitlyn has the power. Vi, meanwhile, has nothing but Caitlyn. She has no connections(her relationship with Ekko is straight up ignored in season 2), no family, no resources of her own. Even when she was on her own, trying to start fresh with literally nothing due to her prison time, she had to resort to underground fighting rings to scrape by. She's in a position of financial need, but Vi is happy anyways, because all that control relinquished to Caitlyn means Vi is stable. She has someone that'll come back to her the same way she comes back to them, and that's what she wanted, for someone to fight as much as she did. Never mind how ugly it gets when the going gets tough. Never mind that part of her torso is still wrapped. She's not alone, and so she's happy. They both are. But they are not healthy, and this conclusion being treated as the light at the end of the tunnel is horrific to anyone who's been in VI's position before.

Conclusion

So, no, your average Caitvi anti saying there's a power dynamic aren't wrong, nor are they making shit up just because they don't like Caitlyn. Not everyone may have the time or energy or words to articulate exactly why, but that doesn't mean it isn't there outright. That said, I can't really blame your average Caitvi enjoyer for being upset at this kind of accusation, and that's mainly because though the show portrays abuse, it takes the stance that if the love is there, it doesn't really matter in the long-term. The divide lies between those who take the show for what it's trying to say, and the people who see the show's biases and call them out.

The choice of music and focus on Caitlyn's perspective across the season as opposed to Vi being shoehorned into montages over and over makes it exceedingly clear that despite all of her crimes and actions, they want Caitlyn to appear sympathetic to the audience, and they want the audience to root for her to get Vi back while not caring about Vi's own stagnation. The show has the two of them happy at the end as part of their grand conclusion intentionally; you're supposed to like that they're together. The show wants you to think that it's a good thing, and a large chunk of the Arcane fandom prefers to take Arcane for what it was trying to be, instead of what it ended up being. And until people can stop harassing each other over what is at the end of the day a sloppily written work of fiction, there'll never really be a constructive conversation about it.

I actually quite like Caitlyn in that I think her fall from grace and corruption arc is really interesting, and I'm never opposed to toxic yuri in an intentional "bad ending." But Arcane and the creators have made it so clear over and over again that that's not what Caitvi was meant to be, so I can't not criticize it, especially not when there are some Caitvi diehards making a point to harass and attack anyone that says otherwise, making fucked up art mocking the George Floyd protests, bullying Ekko's VA out of the fandom, sending anonymous death threats to critical tag users, etc. Obviously I'm aware it's a vocal minority, but it's still happening.

[specialagentartemis]

from a discussion in the comments of this post:

Learning about things is always valuable; learning how to assess what things are reliable is always valuable; not everything needs academic rigor to be valuable! That's part of what's getting lost here.

It's always good to read critically and ask questions, to think about the logical arguments being made and assess whether they are actually answering the question they set out to answer, or if they provide strong enough evidence for their claim. You certainly don't have to be an expert to do that. And it's a great way to learn.

The idea of academic rigor primarily comes into play if you want to 1) do original research, 2) challenge a scientist or expert and say they're wrong, or 3) give advice in a formal capacity or practice the topic in a formal capacity.

Learning a lot of facts about, say, Ancient Rome, is great for writing a fictional story set in Ancient Rome; academic rigor is necessary if you want to write a nonfiction history of Ancient Rome. Collecting lots of information about local ecosystems is awesome for starting your own native pollinator garden or giving plant cuttings to your neighbors; academic rigor is necessary if you want to start a consulting business giving recommendations to local institutions about rewilding their properties.

I, personally, really love learning about dinosaurs and I consider myself pretty knowledgeable about them, but I'm nowhere near an expert, and that's fine: it mostly means I won't be writing any science books or leading any paleontology research projects or being a Jurassic World science consultant. I can still enjoy it, and get a lot of value in learning about it and understanding it, and know enough to go "hmmm there's probably more to the story" when news articles report that some biotech firm has de-enxtinct-ified some prehistoric animal. Those are all valuable things, even if they don't make me an expert!

And then there are topics like woodworking or sewing or rock climbing where "academic rigor" is not a useful framework for expertise at all, because it operates in a completely different space in which expertise comes in a very different way.

Anti-vaxxers are very enthusiastic about "doing their own research" and still very wrong. This is a huge problem because they are also saying the medical experts are liars and making decisions about other people's health because of it. Graham Hancock is very enthusiastic about archaeology, and very wrong. This leads to him getting a Netflix deal to make a popular tv show where he tells you that the academic archaeologists are lying to you to cover up the fact that Atlantis is real.

Conversely, here's a story about an amateur archaeologist who spent a lot of time studying Ice Age cave paintings... and then brought his observations and theories to academic archaeologists, who worked together with him to test those theories!

Getting an academic degree is not the only path to truth and knowledge. But one of the big values of academia is that it teaches you how to research, how to design experiments, how to read critically and assess information, and how to robustly test your ideas. It also has peer review by other experts who are there to assess your work from an outside perspective and give critiques of it, and it teaches you how to accept critique with an open mind. Those are absolutely skills you CAN learn outside academia! For sure! But you have to honestly assess: are you? before you can make a claim to the same standards of original research, challenging other experts, or giving advice from a place of expertise.

If that's not what you're interested in doing with your knowledge, then learning facts is awesome. Learning about the world to broaden your worldview and understand more about the world around you is always good. And I don't know an academic who will ever claim otherwise.

[physalian]

7 Misused Tropes (And How to Improve Them)

Tropes in isolation aren’t inherently bad, but a lot of them are prone to poor execution. Each one of these probably could have a whole post by themselves. A few of these used to be good but have since fallen by the wayside as their original meaning has been lost.

7. Dramatic Miscommunication

You know the ones. I think it’s worse when the story is otherwise good, the writers just could not come up with a better way to get X alone or send Y off on the necessary side quest than the lowest of low hanging fruit.

Two essential ingredients for fixing this trope: Precedent and consequences

Precedent–have the character doing the missassuming already be prone to jumping to conclusions, already suspicious or insecure, or misled by a third party so this looks inevitable, instead of pulled out of your ass.

Consequences–usually these are big blow up fights that fizzle out without any impact on the plot once they fulfill their purpose, but if it’s a nasty enough fight, characters shouldn’t just forgive and forget. While they might not completely ruin relationships, it should have characters taking a step back and either second guessing where they stand, or using this blowup to fix an underlying issue in said relationship.

6. Love Triangles

Good Love Triangle for the first 3 seasons: Elena/Stefan/Damon (TVD).

Bad Love Triangle for the entire series: Bella/Edward/Jacob (Twilight).

The difference between them (besides time to flesh out both candidates) is that both brothers brought valid pros and cons to Elena’s life, both got the chance to be with her, and Elena’s whole arc wasn’t solely focused on the agonizing choice of which brother she should pick. Regardless of which camp you’re in, Stefan brought stability, that classic cliché high school romance, mostly all good vibes. He never challenged her or talked down to her or got aggressive with her. Damon did the opposite, for better or for worse, and we know which direction the show went.

On the other hand, Jacob never for one second stood a chance with Bella and the narrative wasn’t kidding anyone. They never so much as went on one date (unless you count the motorcycle ride) and it seemed like Bella was only letting him hang on for pity’s sake. Theoretically he brought pros to the table that Edward couldn’t (like, idk, being alive), but the narrative never explored what could be done with him. He just ended up being the Nice Guy friend who then decided it’d be hot to lust after an infant.

5. Agency-less Chosen Ones

These tend to be wish fulfillment characters that bring nothing to the story and have no discernible skills, yet are constantly in the middle of the action, have all the love interests fawning over them, and are Important and Critical to saving the world… because the narrative said so. They don’t make a single choice the entire plot except to move forward or stagnate, chosen by the gods or a prophecy or fate and destiny.

The problem: These characters walk with the crutch of “I’m the chosen one thus I don’t need a reason to exist in the story” and that’s just not a satisfying narrative shortcut. So? Give them agency. Even if they’re chosen by some ancient prophecy, you still have to convince the reader why the Universe wasn’t just talking out of its ass.

Good example: Emmet from Lego Movie literally says he’s useless and has no skills and cannot think outside the Lego box. He’s supposed to be as generic as painfully possible and when he does have creative ideas, they’re supposed to be asinine and stupid. And yet. He might be physically dragged around by the other characters, but he has plenty of choices, plenty of opposition to what’s happening, plenty to say about the state of his world, and his ideas do matter and his intimate knowledge of the instructions and playing by the rules is how they win.

4. Bad Boy Love Interests

These guys were supposed to be counter-culture icons, standing up to The Man for the little guy because he knows the system is broken and rigged. He’s an affront to the stereotypical nuclear lifestyle, he resents a robotic and soulless office job and wants to create art or music or in some way benefit his world and isn’t going to play nice just to get his way. He exists in contrast to the nuclear female protagonist: Conservative, demure, rule-following caged bird who falls in love with him because he shows her that life isn’t meant to be lived in The Man’s cage. He respects the authority that deserves respect, the teachers who actually give a shit, the janitors, the librarians, but probably not the principal or the police or the local politicians, because he knows they don’t respect him and respect is a two-way street. He’s probably a mama’s boy or at the very least loves his parents (if they’re alive) and while he might engage in a little property damage like graffiti, it’s for a good cause.

This dude is NOT SUPPOSED TO BE: Abusive, controlling, aggressive, or condescending to his love interest. He’s not supposed to be an overprotective stalker or plagued by insecure jealousy over any other man in his love interest’s life. He’s not rude to his friends or arrogant about his own smarts and doesn’t think he knows best about every little thing in the world. He’s not sexist or racist just to make himself feel better and he doesn’t pressure his love interest into sex because she owes him or whatever.

Ahem.

Please bring back classic bad boys. That is all.

3. Major Character Death (for shock value)

I remember the implosion of the Walking Dead fandom after they killed Carl, one of the very few characters who was supposed to make it to the end, for… various sketchy reasons and I could never figure out what was true. Some theorized that his actor was aging out of the ‘child actor’ payscale and they didn’t want to pay him as an adult and while I have no proof, it wouldn’t surprise me at all.

Carl died after getting bit in just one of those hectic moments where he got unlucky, while doing something noble and stupid. In isolation, it fits the nature of the “anyone can die” show but man did it just come across in poor taste.

Obviously “for shock value” shouldn’t be the reason you do anything in your story but there is still a way to pull it off without it causing a riot: Make sure they get killed in a non-contrived way. If you plan on killing off one of your heroes suddenly, either make it bitterly ironic, or make it a situation that this character would absolutely get themselves into. The more it “fits” the less likely audiences will see the hand of the author coming in just to break the character’s fictional contract.

2. The Power Inside You All Along

This trope is usually disappointing because it tends to melt a character’s whole arc down into something pointless—this whole adventure was apparently useless if they didn’t actually need to grow or change or challenge their conceptions of the world. They could have got up off the couch as joe shmoe and beat the villain day one.

While that’s probably not what their creator intends, ‘it was inside you all along *wink*’ tends to feel that way, as it discourages internal conflict. Usually, their creator is likely trying to convey the message that one need not change, that it’s what’s inside them already that makes them special.

I present to you once again Kung Fu Panda’s “there is no secret ingredient” i.e. “the power inside you”. The difference is. Po still has plenty of internal conflict: his own self-confidence. He begins the movie eager but inexperienced and a bit oblivious, fanboying it up around his heroes. He and Shifu both insult his weight and his lacking kung fu skills, and his arc is learning self-confidence, learning how to use his weight and the body he has to fight in a way that the villain isn’t prepared for, to where Po can shit-talk him to his face during the final fight.

Most failures of this trope don’t bother exercising their protagonist. They’re pissy and resistant for the entire story and only win when the narrative agrees they were right all along. Therefore, no change, no conflict, no resolution.

1. Strong Female Characters

So many of these read like "slapped boops on a male character". They don’t work for many reasons (usually being very preachy with their agendas), but they especially don’t work when by trying to be pro-feminist, they’re still reinforcing masculine standards. A lot of people, when Captain Marvel came out, said “you didn’t have any issues with Tony Stark being an asshole but now you do when he’s a woman” which. No.

Tony was an asshole, but being an asshole was the whole point of his character, and he got humbled right quick by getting blown up and held hostage. “Proof that Tony Stark Has a Heart” and all that.

Carol was an asshole with nothing to substantiate it, and never got a reality check. She had amnesia so we didn’t get insight into who she was before to understand this transition into dickishness and was so OP, she wasn’t ever physically or emotionally challenged like Tony was.

But the other thing is this: Slapping boobs on a male character with a slew of toxic masculine traits also says that to be a successful woman, you must behave like a man. It swings so far from the femme fatale sexy leg lamp that it comes around and eats its own tail. These characters are just mean and insecure and build themselves up by tearing down the men around them.

So. Calhoun from Wreck it Ralph is this exact trope done extremely well. She’s aggressive, arrogant, loud, rude, and cynical. For about 10% of her arc. The movie immediately throws her into a situation where her strengths are basically useless—she’s stuck in Candy Land and has to rely on someone who is the antithesis of her game and character to make it out. The movie also shows you why she’s cynical via her tragic backstory.

Not only that, she’s more than just a heap of toxic masculinity in a pixie cut. She laughs, she cries, she admits when she’s wrong, she has a soft side, a gentle side, a caring side, and remains a badass through and through.

Or, once again rolling out Tigress from Kung Fu Panda: Proud, aggressive, the snubbed chosen one, cynical, mean, and overconfident in her abilities. Tigress nearly gets her entire team killed in her arrogance. She’s allowed to be wrong, very wrong. She also has her soft moments and, like Calhoun, has a very valid reason for being jaded, and is still shown to be capable of softness and nurturing during the evacuation.

Third example to hammer home that I don’t hate badass women: Andromache. Jaded, overconfident, short-tempered, aggressive, and a little mean-spirited. Tragic explanatory backstory? Check. She is also caring and loyal to her team, allowed to get emotional, allowed to be wrong and fail and lose, and kind of the surrogate mom of the team, who can also laugh and joke around and have light-hearted moments.

Whether the character is a man or a woman, being an arrogant asshole who takes zero accountability and refuses to admit when they’re wrong and never loses, audiences aren’t going to like them.

[mangionebabymama]

Let’s remember to use our critical thinking skills here and focus on what’s most important, as a little reminder:

So, the Daily Mail claims that there are allegedly sex tapes of Luigi Mangione. However, at his last court appearance on February 21st, at the New York State Criminal Court, his defense attorney relayed that Manhattan’s district attorney office still had yet to provide his team with discovery—specifically, the DD5 police paperwork, which is the exchange of information between parties before a trial.

The NYPD still have yet to provide and gather all of the evidence necessary to prove their case, and have had plenty of time to do so since December, and somehow, his defense team has yet to receive it, but the public is now made aware of supposedly leaked sex tapes?

Just let that sink for a moment.

[lazyjellyfish300]

Shiu Kong Headcanons/Analysis 🚬🖤

a/n: this started out as headcanons and soon became an analysis of all my opinions and thoughts born out of love for this man. 💕 Material from these hcs and analysis may be used as inspiration for other writing/art, please just credit me if you do. 💕

CW: JJK SPOILERS, maybe some angst, non descriptive discussion of trauma, mention of violence and brief mention of graphic content.

divider by @/animatedglittergraphics-n-more. Pics from Pinterest

Words: 1.7k

-He's the type that's constantly running late but somehow manages to still arrive on time.

-He has to drive often for work, but he dislikes it.

-He does like his car, however.

-I personally think he has a couple tattoos underneath his suit.

-This man is loyal. he has known Toji for over 10 years, and helped take care of a child that's not his.

-Therefore, he would not cheat.

-He's an exceptional people person and good with social interactions. He negotiates and mediates for a living. He also honed these skills as a detective who must be able to use discernment and judgement to ask important questions, think critically, and read other people.

-He can snuff out if someone is being disingenuine or full of shit like it's nothing.

-His source of stress is entertaining clients/hospitality so therefore, despite being a master at communication, he gets social burnout and has a limited battery. But, he has enough tact and restraint to air out his frustrations in private. An example being when he kept a cool expression during Sonoda's cuckoo rant, and didn't laugh with Toji about it until after he left the room. He definitely gossips in my opinion.

-He has an extroverted way of expressing his love. I see him as indulgent at times. His vices are cigarettes and cheese which can be pricey (and unhealthy) commodities, and collecting tropical fish (not a cheap variety), which implies he has an aquarium, which is a very expensive investment which requires upkeep. I see him spoiling you with little gifts and trinkets, taking you on nice vacations, BUT to a point which I'll touch on in a sec.

-He has "restaurants that he uses for clients." So that demonstrates he has intel or the ability to look into people's tastes and what may impress them. Therefore I see him applying the same thoughtfulness to his partner.

- Shiu has an eye and appreciation for luxury but he does not identify as rich. When he's telling Toji how the Star Religious group helped them:

"Check this out, the president has a private jet." But yet also states that "Rich people think on a different scale, man."

I think Shiu is well-to-do, as we've seen he would get quite the generous cut from the job with Toji, his suit, his possession of gadgets (laptop, cellphone), owning a car, but this separation he makes between himself and rich people shows that he must either be somewhere in the middle, or upper middle.

Or, it's possible that he is rich but he doesn't identify with a rich person's mentality. It could also mean that he was raised from a more modest background or merely possesses a frugal mindset that makes him view himself as different.

-But I believe he does have some level of frugality/money conscientiousness and we see him use practicality once again when he's on the phone with Toji, reminding him that despite the bounty there's handling fees, posting fees, etc.

-He is gracious and can demonstrate humility on occasion based on his response to Sonoda giving Toji a bonus. "Do you mean it? I know it was a necessary expense but you've helped us a lot."

-I imagine in a relationship that selflessness and modesty would come out. He wouldn't want to trouble you too much with things that he sees as going out of your way for him. Especially since hospitality is a cause of stress for him, so he wouldn't want to burden you with the same thing.

-His strategic and logistical way of thinking is also demonstrated when he meets Toji at the boat races. "What were you thinking, letting go of the entire deposit?" He is risk averse and doesn't take them unless it's calculated. He acknowledges that traveling on public transportation with a captive can raise suspicions, showing he's definitely got social awareness. Another pen in his cap for being a master at navigating social situations.

-The previous point is also another credit to his background as a detective. Detectives must review evidence and be analytics-driven. Therefore, I believe he is an extremely observant person. He's sharp, intelligent, strategic, and can remain calm in the face of conflict.

-Despite his illicit line of work, he has some preference for order and structure, possibly tapping into his values from his old profession. "It's my duty to report how the job is going to our client."

-And depending on how many years he worked in that field, it's very possible that he's retained most of those qualities in some way to this day, even if his sense of justice/ethics has been warped. I think he still operates with his own reasoning in a way that makes sense to him.

-Work as a detective is no joke. I believe this man has probably witnessed unfathomable horrors and trauma we don't know about. There are most likely cases that haunt him, based on what most legal/criminal justice professionals can tell you about their experiences in real life.

-He can also see curses despite not being a sorcerer. That has got to be terrifying to be able to see them while not possessing the ability to defend yourself against them.

-His exposure to the legal system, and the dark side of human nature I believe would make him susceptible to all the corruption he's witnessed.

-My theory is he must have lost faith in it along the way and most likely resigned to a more pessimistic world view. This can explain how he went from being an agent of the law to his illicit and criminal dealings now, and could also explain why he ended up in Japan from his native Korea.

-He is also desensitized to the things that he's seen. He can stand next to Toji and watch a giant worm vomit a dead body on a table with his hands in his pockets. Once again, the gravity of some of the things he's observed in his life must have been pretty gnarly if this doesn't phase him.

-Outward appearance is important to Shiu. Dressing and looking professional. Source: when he asks Geto: "Are you really wearing that?"

-He has a sense of propriety. We see this when he corrects Toji that he was not speaking to the founder with a sigh. Therefore, he has some level of manners and tact. He's no doubt chivalrous with women.

-He can read between the lines. Despite Toji's orders, he was able to figure out what he was planning at the time and is confident enough in his own reasoning to make the call to keep Kuroi alive. But note that this judgement was one based on strategy, not mercy. Shiu is still indifferent to killing.

-He anticipates things and is proactive and takes a forward thinking approach coupled with knowledge that he already possesses to make decisions. He knew that relief from Kuroi's rescue would wear them down more than the heigtened stress from failure. Therefore, between Shiu and Toji, he is the brains of the two. He fills in the gaps with his cunning and is very through and intuitive to clues that Toji might have overlooked.

-Shiu doesn't like to linger on the past or choices he's made. Evidence of this is when he's walking outside with Toji after the job is done and Toji is questioning why Shiu didn't kill Kuroi when he had the chance.

"It all worked out in the end, didn't it? And stop running your mediator ragged."

In other words: "Don't give me flack for not doing what you would have done in the moment. We got the job done, end of story. And stop stressing me out."

-I think Shiu is definitely wise enough to know that smoking is unhealthy for him, but he uses it as a crutch for the stress he's under. He was already smoking a cigarette while on the phone with Toji as they were discussing the job and his concerns with Toji's approach.

-He has a playful, informal side with people he knows. He sasses back with Toji: "I already did, dumbass."

-He remembers things about people. Despite it being several years since he associated with Toji, he knows that Toji's "never been the type who's been cut out for making easy money." His line: "Almost forgot, how's Megumi doing?"

When he went to speak with Toji, he had enough consideration in mind for him that he meant to ask about the boy.

-This also shows that the relationship Shiu had with Toji and his son must have been impactful in some way for him to recall his name, have some level of investment in his wellbeing to ask about him(and had to have been a motivator for him to step in and help in the first place), despite Toji answering that he doesn't know who that is.

-"I'll only see you again for work." Shiu made that decision. There must have been some sort of interpersonal fallout between the two men that shows that Shiu would not associate with him on a personal level.

It could very well be due to Toji's decline after his wife's death. This means that Shiu must not have been fully corrupted at that point, if he was willing to distance himself from that sort of behavior at that time.

Or, he might have been like-minded as Toji, but it might have been in response to a personal slight that was committed against him or that he took offense to.

Not quite sure, but I'm convinced it must be personal in nature if he will not walk into that territory with Toji again, however it was not egregious enough to not be willing to conduct business with him.

-"If we don't work together again, I'll see you in hell." So Shiu is a conscionable man to some degree. He is aware that he's flawed enough to earn that level of punishment. But he's resigned himself to the way he is now. He doesn't try to redeem himself because his thinking is: "it is what it is." He doesn't trouble himself with his past decision making as I made in an earlier point.

-Overall, he's a troubled man underneath, but he has bits of humanity he clings onto(he dislikes black beans, loves cheese, smokes his cigs, collects pretty fish). This is why I think he's such a fascinating and wonderfully well-crafted example of a morally grey character that we unfortunately only get a minor character's world's eye view into. His qualities are elusive but they are all very much present if you delve into him, and I adore him so very much.

And we all can acknowledge, he's very easy on the eyes.💕

[justporo]

A Night of Staying In

After all the doom and gloom in other writing I really needed some cutesy fluff to feel myself again - and also to give Astarion and Tav a break.

Summary: So have Tav and Astarion just enjoying a cozy night in - also Astarion gets a carrot hurled at his face.

Pairing: Astarion/GN!Tav Warnings: Mention of sex, a carrot gets thrown and then murdered Wordcount: 2,2k

Delicious smells of slowly cooking meats and vegetables, spices and a forgotten mint tea were wafting through the kitchen of your cozy little townhouse.

You were bustling around the well-equipped kitchen. The apron you were wearing was full of stains and its pockets full of cooking utensils – even a half-full spoon absent-mindedly tugged away in one of them. It was slowly leaking through the linen with something on it that looked like blood – but was simply a tomatoey sauce. Your hair was messily put up in a bun, but several strands of hair had fallen out of it and you looked only so far from a mental breakdown.

At the kitchen table Astarion was sitting with a lantern, bowing over an embroidery project. He had the very bright lantern you’d gifted him specifically for this purpose directly next to him, but he was still squinting at his work and holding it so close his nose was almost touching the fabric. He looked a lot less demented than you but still very absent-minded.

Fabrics and threads were strewn all about the wooden table. Different needles were glinting everywhere on it too. One could only hope that those would be remembered at some point – preferably before someone stuck them in their fingers.

Next to him were also laying some loose papers, a feather and an ink pot with lots of writing that was then crossed out again and also some small little doodles on the corners – one for whatever reason happened to be a goose with a knife in its beak.

You had several pots on the iron stove and something about to go in the oven as well. Critically you were moving around between all of these things, clattering with copper pot lids, jars of ingredients and spoons to try the food (always in the same pattern: grabbing a new spoon, trying something, putting the spoon in the dish bowl full of dirty water – then having to grab a new spoon). You had some potatoes boiling and in another pot you had been cooking a mixture of vegetables and beef for quite some time. You wanted to recreate a recipe of cottage pie that you had once tried many years ago in a tavern and had kept reappearing in your dreams. And now you finally had the kitchen and the tools to try and cook it yourself!

But it seemed impossible to get it right, this already being your fourth attempt this week. The vampire had already been moaning that you had basically force-fed him the meal because you had no way of eating that much pie on your own. It was not, that the finished pies hadn’t tasted well, but they just weren’t like you remembered. But you started to think that it might be your memory that was tricking you and not your cooking skills.

You went to try the pie filling again after adding some more spices and dash more red wine (directly from your goblet because you didn’t seem to remember where you put the bottle).

As soon as the spoonful hit your tongue you knew you had done it – finally.

You shrieked and immediately heard another shriek behind you in reply. You turned around to Astarion with glee and saw how the vampire was staring at you angrily and shaking his hand. It didn’t take a genius to figure out your sudden excitement had caused him to stab himself with his needle.

“Darling, can you maybe not scream like a dying goblin, I was concentrating!”, he hissed at you. Your joy evaporated at his flare of anger – so you turned around again, grabbed a left over half of carrot and threw it at Astarion – and maybe a bit more forceful than would have been necessary.

But he was still a rogue and dodged the vegetable easily. It flew against one of the cabinets and then to the ground. There it stayed until Scratch came into the kitchen, drawn there by the sudden noises. The dog sniffed at the piece of vegetable, then grabbed it and went off again.

“Oh really, are we at the ‘I throw stuff at my lover’ point of our relationship now, love?”, Astarion replied to your responsive outburst of anger with a raised eyebrow. “Am I going to have to sleep on the sofa next?”, he continued sassily.

Your hand itched to grab more produce – there were some potatoes still laying around and they made for excellent improvised throwing weapons. But you saw the smirk that played around the vampire’s lips. So you settled for a verbal rebuttal.

“Don’t be such a prick and you can keep sleeping inside”, you said and flipped him off. Then you turned around again to your cooking and grabbed – yet another – spoon and scooped up some of the filling. The vampire mumbled something under his breath about he wouldn’t have to be a prick if you didn’t make him prick himself.

“Oh, that would be so gracious of you, my dear lady, if I was still allowed in your shining presence”, Astarion then said loudly as you were busy with the pots. The tone still very sassy but you heard the playfulness in it now and knew he was now only teasing.

You went over to him, with one hand under the spoon full of hot goodness that immediately started dripping and burning your hand. You winced but kept going.

“Here, try this – I think I got it now”, you said as you stood in front of Astarion who had put down his needlework for the time being. He threw you a pained look: “Love, if you keep feeding me this I think I might actually start to get a pot belly.”

You snorted at him and eyed what you could see of his upper body. “Pretty sure, you will never have to worry about this kind of thing. Now. Try. It”, you answered and insistingly came closer with the spoon.

Astarion sighed, gave you another suffering look and then let himself be fed. His doubtful expression quickly changed to what you interpreted as pleasantly surprised.

“Alright, I take everything back, that was well worth the scream of enlightenment, my sweet. That tastes wonderful”, the vampire said and grinned at you.

“See, wasn’t so hard, was it”, you said and gave him a quick peck on the lips as you could see his face changing to annoyance once more at your petty remark.

You threw the spoon in the dish bowl and rubbed your hands on your apron and started to get everything ready for the final step of the recipe. Meanwhile you said to Astarion: “So, darling, could you write down the following: one and a half cups of red wine and three instead of two sprigs of thyme and just loads of black pepper.”

“Of course, my darling chef”, Astarion replied cheerfully and grabbed the feather and papers laying next to him to write it down. “Any other changes?”

“No, this will be it”, you responded and happily clapped your hands before you put your filling in a cast iron pan, mashed and seasoned the potatoes and then put them down as the topping of your pie. The final touch was some hearty cheese sprinkled on top. Then you put it all in the oven.

In the meantime, you heard the feather scratching over the paper.

“What are you doing, Astarion?”, you asked as you took off the oven mitts from pushing the pan in to cook.

“Just putting the recipe in clean writing for you, my heart”, the vampire replied as he kept looking through older versions and notes on the papers. Brows furrowed as he was concentrating on it.

“That’s sweet, love, thank you”, you said to him but he didn’t reply and probably hadn’t even noticed. Of course – if you said something actually nice you fell on deaf ears.

So you decided to thank him with another gesture. You grabbed another goblet to pour your vampire a cup of wine but as you looked around to find the opened bottle you saw that it had been next to Astarion with an already filled cup all along.

You gave up and sat down across the table with your own cup of wine as Astarion finished up writing. You put one leg up on the bench and hugged it to your chest, head on top of the knee and watched the pale elf.

“Here you go, my sweet”, the vampire exclaimed cheerfully after a few more moments and handed you the finished recipe that was now written cleanly in his neat and beautiful handwriting. ‘Tav’s specialty cottage pie’ stood atop the page and next to it was a little doodle of some steaming hot pie.

You smiled broadly at Astarion: “Thank you, darling.” Then you shortly leaned on the table, almost climbing over it to give him a kiss while carefully trying to avoid the needles.

“Do you sometimes wonder how we ended up like this?”, you softly asked him after you had read through the finished recipe.

“Like what?”

“Well, like this – all domestic. I’m cooking, you’re embroidering, we’re bickering like an old married couple, drinking wine and just enjoying a cozy night in instead of wreaking havoc somewhere out there”, you said and waved vaguely in the direction of the city beyond the walls of your home. Then you took another sip of wine.

“Let’s be honest with ourselves, we’ve been bickering like that from the moment we met”, Astarion answered and looked at you sternly. You shrugged in agreement.

“As for the rest – well, are you enjoying the way we spend our nights like this sometimes? Because if you’re bored-“

“No no, I’m enjoying this an awful lot. It’s just – this is somehow the most unlike turn of events don’t you think? Like, I sometimes can’t believe we actually ended up in the version where we’ll live happily ever after”, you said and cradled your face in your hand not currently holding a cup of wine.

At your words a warm and adoring smile crept onto Astarion’s face.

“Are you though?”, you asked then.

“Hm?”

“Are you enjoying these kinds of nights?”, you asked Astarion again and lifted your head up to look straight at him.

The vampire looked at you, smile still playing around his lips: “Well, my love, after two hundred years full of godsdamned shit I am enjoying this sort of mundanity quite a lot. And I enjoy it even more because I get to spend it with you. I might even enjoy doing the dishes with you later on – unless you don’t splash me like last time.”

You smiled at him too now, broadly – feeling incredibly lucky that you had indeed taken all the right turns that had led you here, to this: sitting at this kitchen table with the love of your life, talking about doing the dishes.

“But if we ever get bored, my sweet, I have quite a lot of ideas on how to spice things up”, Astarion continued afterwards. The smile morphed into a lewd smirk and his red eyes sparkled mischievously: “For example, I could dramatically throw everything on this table to the ground, rip all your clothes off and have my way with you on this table until you forget your own name.”

His voice had suddenly become deep and smooth like dark molten chocolate. You bit your bottom lip as the mental image of his words set in and you just stared into his eyes point blank. Astarion still looked at you, not breaking eye contact, and his teasing smirk only growing.

“Nah”, you made after some more moments, “not tonight. My cottage pie would burn.” Your tone was matter-of-fact and you drank some more of your wine while still looking into the vampire’s eyes.

Then you both broke down laughing. So much so that you had to wipe tears from your eyes by the end and Astarion had his face buried in one of his hands while silent fits of laughter still shook through him.

“Alright”, he said and bit his lip, one of his fangs showing adorably as if he was a cat, “I’ll write it down for another date night then.” You broke out laughing again.

Until you could actually smell your food burning. With an “oh shit” you jumped up and pulled the pan out of the oven – you had saved it just in time.

You got out some plates and forks, and put some generous servings onto them. As you turned around your gaze fell onto the table full of Astarion’s embroidery supplies. Astarion saw your look, then waved it off, dismissing it.

He grabbed one of the filled plates from you and grabbed your then free hand to lead you to the living room. Scratch was there laying on his designated blanket, chewing on his favourite ball. Some telltale orange spots telling the tale of the fallen carrot.

You settled down on your sofa with your food – you swinging your legs over Astarion’s and getting cozy.

And this is where you stayed: eating until you felt like your belly might burst, joking until you were crying again, talking until you got so tired you almost drifted off into dreaming right then and there. And when you had went to bed: holding each other until you woke up in the other’s arms again.

[snapscube]

In Dawntrail did you enjoy a different character playing the main role, or do you prefer when the player character is leading the narrative?

this is definitely a major point of contention in the fanbase rn and i can generally see valid feelings/criticism on both ends of the spectrum. i myself do fall somewhere in between the most extreme takes on this. i won't go into too much detail about actual events but ill tag this as spoilers anyway just in case. ok so my thoughts are:

firstly, i like Wuk Lamat a lot. i don't think she deserves even half of the pure unfiltered ire that she is receiving from a large subset of the community rn. the amount of people who have already turned being a wuk lamat hater into an advertised personality trait really frustrates me. i really enjoyed seeing her personal journey through the story and i was overall very satisfied by her inclusion. however, i do not think the story was perfectly paced or balanced, and i definitely do understand where people are coming from when they say that they could have used a little less of her in the forefront. honestly it did kind of ultimately disappoint me that we missed out on a lot of potential interaction/development with someone like Krile, who in spite of being promised a big breakout role in this expansion still somewhat felt like a SLIGHT (i have to stress slight) afterthought. she did get some notable moments of development and emotion, but i feel like there could have been more.

okay but, your question is about our role as a player in the narrative. i hold the opinion that for THIS EXPANSION SPECIFICALLY, the warrior of light taking somewhat of a narrative backseat actually made a ton of sense and fit the themes of the narrative as well as the promise of a somewhat breezy summer vacation for our heroes. now, i will say this: i really do not agree with the idea that the WoL should be in a mentor role indefinitely because our story is done developing and we need to give the spotlight to "the next generation" of heroes in the world. i appreciate the SENTIMENT of this, but like for me personally.... i don't want Pella's story to be done, yknow? i definitely would be disappointed if this was the DE FACTO role she played in every expansion past this. but i don't even think that is factually what's going to happen. we're currently in a setup phase! and, again, bringing it back to this narrative and the themes within, a lot of Dawntrail about the experience of entering unfamiliar places and learning about the customs and the traditions of people already within it to best help them without unwelcomely trampling on their culture in the process. i think a story like that is the PERFECT time for the WoL to take a bit of a backseat. wuk lamat is also somewhat unfamilar like us yes, but Tural is still her home and she is about to be tasked with leading it. i feel like centering our character in that equation would feel.... really disingenuous? it was kinda frustrating sometimes when it felt like hey.... there's a situation happening right now that can be solved by skilled combat and you have a literally god killer standing right here doing a frown emote, but at a certain point i could chalk it up to growing pains or necessary suspension of disbelief in the interest of the overall emotional hook of the narrative. a lot of those moments could be explained away with enough thought about the character motivations and culture at play, though sometimes it does feel like a stretch. again, far from a perfectly written MSQ. it starts slow and it's messy and it throws a LOT of stuff at you that doesn't always pay off like you expect or want. but i dunno! i think we're gonna see some really interesting stuff come to the forefront in the future, and i think especially now knowing that much of the playerbase thought we took TOO much of a backseat here CS3 will probably adjust their focus accordingly next time. so i can't be too upset really about the stuff i wasn't into. the rest of it was great imo!

[theastrical]

Genshin men as haikyuu characters in their respective teams!

kaeya, diluc, alhaitham, kaveh, childe, albedo, aether, ayato, kazuha, itto, thoma, venti, cyno

in honor of the haikyuu movie, i shall present to you a short headcannon of genshin men and their preserved vb team in the haikyuu universe~

KARASUNO:

What makes karasuno different from other team is their team coordination. Their improvement begins from pressure, their ability to adapt towards the intimidation is amazing as it is, they are crows after all-and crows has no fierce in facing death.

Aether as Sugawara Koshi (Setter), Being a setter means that you’ll have to be the one to bring forward/push your teammates and i feel aether does the best job in this aspect.

Venti as Nishinoya Yu (Libero), Venti is somewhat a lifesaver, somebody you can depend on. Although you may or may not trust him due to how he works on “his way”. Still, if you’ve ever need him, he’ll come to your way and be there for you.

Itto as Tanaka Ryuu (Wing Spiker), both of them are hardworkers and despite both being kind of….dumb, they can be the best if they set their point into something.

Thoma as yamaguchi tadashi (middle blocker), Thoma isn’t exactly in the big picture, but he contributed a lot more than people think, just like yamaguchi. He’s not the centre of attention but he is the biggest reason why the team get along and can coordinate better.

NEKOMA:

What makes nekoma so different from other team is how they prioritise their strategy and they’re very team centralised instead of coach centralised. Like cats, they are tame in the outside but inside they are unhinged, somehow able to kill off the “untouch”.

Albedo as Kenma Kozume (setter), setting up a strategy and being the one to control the team-even giving critical notes if necessary in order to “improve” the team coordination. If that’s not albedo, i don’t know what is.

Kaeya as Kuroo Tetsuro (Middle blocker/Captain), kaeya is born with talent, physically and psychologically, he’s prepared to face such an obstacle in any strategy. He’s able to adapt easily and he can easily gain respect, he knows what to do and what he MUST do for the team.

Kazuha as Fukunaga Shohei (Wing Spiker), he’s not in the big picture of the team, neither does people know his name. But he contributed more points than the so called ACE, because he would try to improve himself and try to adapt to the strategy-he use the silence to coordinate himself better.

SHIRATORIZAWA:

What makes shiratorizawa different is how old fashioned they are. They focused more on the strong physical appearance and talent more than improvement. Eagles are known to be the peak of the food cycle, yet they can also face death, which means the peak of eagle can die anytime soon if they don’t adapt.

Diluc as Ushijima Wakatoshi (Wing Spiker/Captain), if diluc set his point into something he had wished to excel since the beginning, he will get it. He’s strong, especially with the support of his allies. Because he’s not exactly the supporter of the team, but the core. If there’s no diluc, then what is the team made of?

Childe as Satori Tendo (Middle blocker), childe’s passion is wreckage, he knew what he had to do to broke people’s pride. He has no limit. His adaptation and instinct is insane, hence he’ll be the back bone of diluc’s success.

Cyno as Tsutomu Goshiki (Wing spiker), Ambition and Skill is what cyno consists of. Ambition blinded him, but that’s also how good he is on becoming the soon to be best in the team. Cyno will (it’s a must on his dictionary) pursue his dream.

INARIZAKI:

What makes inarizaki different? This team has a total control of everything. The court and their audience, their control is as insane as it can be.

Alhaitham as suna rintarou (middle blocker), what is more suna than alhaitham. That man is the pinacle of “i’ll do whatever i want except i’m joking!! (I’m not)”. That man can analyse everybody, even the best out of the best, he plays within his ego-if he want to, he will. And he had set quite the name for himself, because he is alhaitham (duh).

Kaveh as Atsumu Miya (setter), he’s an ambitious prick, he wants to be the best due to the pride of being one of the best. He doesn’t know his limit because he’s blinded by certain boundaries in order to be somebody more than what he aspires to be.

Ayato as kita shinsuke (wing spiker/captain), if being the so called heart of the team is a role, then ayato is one to be called. He can stabilise and coordinate the team well enough, because his own skill sets upon his team. His control is his team.

[galene-gothic]

𝖧𝗈𝗐 𝗍𝗈 𝖻𝖾𝖼𝗈𝗆𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝖻𝖾𝗌𝗍 𝗌𝖾𝗅𝖿?

୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊ I hope this reading found you in good health, every reblog is appreciated and thank you for everything :) ˖♡ ˎˊ˗ ꒰ 🐇 ꒱

˗ˏˋ༻ʚ♡︎ɞ༺ˎˊ˗             PAID SERVICES

⸼ ۫ ︎︎⊹ ! 🪡︎ Pile 1 ꒱

Let's look at what your best self looks like first, your best self is selectively honest. They don't tell others what they want next. They evaluate themself and are self critical to a certain extent. They are sort of self absorbed. They understand that ignorance is bliss and know how to ignore things or people when need be. They are especially really good at ignoring people that they can't have or people from the past. They are still quite fearless though. They understand that it's better to be attacked than ignored. They meditate often and know how to relax. They need and prioritise peace, and their actions align with that. They never bite more than they can chew, they know how to step away from situations that they cannot handle. They try to stay away from conflict and choose themself first no matter what. They know how to become the bigger person. They take care of themself, self reflect and know how to heal properly. They know how to not make rash decisions. They're wise and detached. They've surrendered, they know that if they cannot control it, there's no use worrying and if they can control it, it's better to do so rather than worry. They've released old beliefs and patterns. They have a faith that things will work out, be it faith in themself, faith in god, faith in life or faith in the universe. They're mindful, intentional and know how to let go. They know how to grow, they're also successful. They believe that the pain of discipline is better than the pain of regret. They're quite passive and know how to let life happen for them, they're still someone who takes necessary action though. So, how do you become them? You need a rest, not gonna lie.

Some of you might be drained out to the point where you cannot focus in school or on work. You need to address your self esteem issues. Supposing, you are really self conscious when it comes to performing, you always feel like your body won't look good if you put too much energy so you end up putting less energy in but when you do so, you feel disappointed at yourself for not doing well. In that case, you should try to improve your dance skills. You're someone who has an understanding that being pretty doesn't do enough for you, it's the same with being rich, and the way you are as a person and the way you present yourself are all very important to you. I think it's important for you to build certain skills to a point where you can be really proud, it'll significantly boost your self esteem which will in turn help you for the better. It requires consistency though, don't be lazy !! You need to release negative thoughts, feelings, habits and patterns. You might have gotten really comfortable with your pain, it's important to heal. Your deepest traumas are either already surfacing/resurfacing or will soon, that's when it'll be the easiest to change. You need to stop stressing like just know that "what happens, happens." You need to face life and have a total break down first. You should withdraw from stuff. You'll go through something very humbling, you'll be left feeling really put down. You'll not even have it in yourself to look strong anymore, you'll be exposing weakness because you'll just not have the strength to conceal it. You'll have to accept defeat first and things will get better soon. You'll have to have a lot of anger, pain, shame, guilt and regrets in order to completely change your life, all the best, it'll probably come in soon.

⸼ ۫ ︎︎⊹ ! 🪡︎ Pile 2 ꒱

Let's look at what your best self looks like, your best self has unlimited potential and sees it. Your best self has freedom in some sense, be it financial or something else. Your best self is someone who had to let go of who they were in order to become who they're meant to be. Your best self has a carefree attitude. I just heard 'be yourself'. When I say this, some of you might think that you're doing it already but if you think about it properly you'll notice that you tend to either act childlike even though you're very mature, dumb even though you're very smart, don't express your values as articulately as you think about them, etc. Some of you could be really good at written expression of your thoughts, ideas and feelings but when it comes to talking, you're not the best. Your best self is not scared of being unique. Your best self takes risks because they understand that most of the times not taking a risk is the biggest risk. Your best self has a thirst for life and is passionate. You might be really passionate as a person (most of you seem to have that side of you diminished though). Your best self has fun regardless of what others say. One quality that you already have is your ability to analyse yourself, you are not the type to avoid accountability and blaming external factors for every little thing. You have some sort of an inner guidance, your mindset gives you the capacity to be completely alone if necessary. I feel like a deep part of you desires or used to desire solitude, peace and spiritual enlightenment. Most of you have started your spiritual journey already, some of you haven't though. It doesn't have to be something too deep like 'light candles every full moon, meditate every morning, light sage and incenses often' but instead that you feel like everything that happened was for a reason or even if it feels like it wasn't.

You learn and make something out of it, you know how to live life and try to grow as a person, and have faith (be it in the universe or in yourself). You might be quite philosophical too. You have a lot of wisdom, people who are slightly older than you and see you for who you are might say things like "you're so mature for your age". Ofcourse, there are some things that you'll have to get rid of in order to become your best self, I feel like most of you have mostly/only had short term unstable relationship/s which have caused you to have a lot of baggage. You could have poor health (I heard a poor immune system, bad sleep schedule and poor gut health). You might also be financially dependent on someone else or just not be financially stable, it's causing you to not be able to gain certain skills or knowledge, etc. Even if you do not notice it, you have a tendency of getting stuck in your head often. You lack spontaneity and need mental stimulation/challenges/someone who seems to be equally as intelligent as you so you could have been stuck in toxic friendships/relationships with people who think that and act like they know everything. You're a very fair person, so being with people who don't share the same values or reasoning as you will be frustrating, I'd advise you to not interact with such people to the point of forming am emotional attachment. You'll have to find a source of motivation or something that just reignites the passion in you. Stop being lazy, simply just planning isn't going to get you anywhere. You need to find a new purpose basically. Focus on a purpose, money, drive and having fun. It's important to learn how to be true to yourself and not get easily influenced. You should go out and have some fun too. All the best, I'm rooting for you but you need to be rooting for yourself ten times harder.

⸼ ۫ ︎︎⊹ ! 🪡︎ Pile 3 ꒱

Your best self holds pure intentions towards others and has a good nature. Your best self is also very attractive and follows their heart. They're driven and have a great imagination. They romanticise life and are in love with love. They listen to their intuition and take action towards their goals with a hope in their heart. They have a creative hobby that they might have suppressed that they choose to enhance. They're charming and friendly with people. One thing that I'm getting is that they're someone who everyone has a crush on to a certain extent. They receive a lot of jealousy and envy from others. They don't let anger get the best of them. They think calmly and orderly. They accept different beliefs and paths. They could be someone who's tired though, like really tired physically (they could do a lot). They're accepting of other people's differences. They find solutions to issues instead of going around blaming others. They prioritise peace and don't lose sight of the path. You need to face yourself instead of quick fixing issues that lead to long term detriment. If you're having fights, etc. the moment you forgive them (whether it is at their face or by yourself, without letting them know, that's up to you) and resolve conflicts (including your inner conflicts), you'll start developing into your best self. You have convinced yourself that you have certain beliefs that don't align with you and you need to get rid of them. You're not seeing the brighter side of life and that's hindering you from becoming your best self too.

I feel like what's led to this mild-extreme pessimism is your over optimism in the past. A happy and exciting event seems to have turned wrong. It's going to take you a lot of work to become your best self. You'll have to take up a lot of responsibilities and be really loaded with things to do if you want to become your best self. You'll have to be serious about life and will be stressed quite often. I just heard 'too busy to even eat'. There are excessive requirements and conditions for you to become the best version of yourself. You'll have to put yourself through intense pressure. You'll have to take up a lot of responsibilities too though, try to improve your own character alongside working on building something for yourself. It'll be really easy to burn out though because of how much you'll be doing. You need to mean how to not commit easily to others. You need to challenge others instead of just letting them into your life. Your best self follows their heart but is not easy to get. You need to become hard to get and easy to lose. You need to learn how to make quick decisions and take quick actions. It's important for you to be on a dedicated mission to succeed. Discipline yourself and build confidence. Build so much confidence that when someone you love does you wrong, you know that you can just let go, and find better people and treatment. Become self assured. It's important for you to just go for the things that you want. If you try, you'll get there little by little, all the best.

[ozyras]

swap au part 3 with rei and valerie! probably my favorite swap

(part 1 | part 2 | part 4)

more info below once again:

Valerie: former headmistress of Wellston, was disliked for disregarding the school’s hierarchical order. She had a close relationship with her nephew Arlo, teaching him to be kind and compassionate towards others. Although not a vigilante, she was monitored by authorities due to her critical views on the system. She was close to Kassandra, her former student, and was the only one who knew about her vigilante activities. She got killed by FROST while trying to protect Kassandra who got herself into a life-or-death situation. Before her death, she mentored Remi, the current queen, whom heavily disagreed with her views but still respected her a lot deep down.

Rei: a highly skilled and rising employee of the bureau, he started working there right after university and eventually joined FROST due to his dedication. He’s charismatic, manipulative, and great at winning people over. He cares a lot for his sister, believing she will follow in his footsteps, and makes time to meet with her despite his busy schedule. He fought and killed Valerie, his former headmistress back in Wellston, whom he quite disliked. Got told off by his superiors because his job was to just take down Kassandra. He doesn’t regret what he did though, as he thinks it was necessary since she was poisoning students’ minds. It worked in the bureau’s favor in the long run so he got away with just a light scolding.

[five-thousand-loaves-of-bread]

poke hornet nest

my stance on ABA

(my stance on ABA)

as someone with (some) lived experience

most of it is shit.

for long time in past and even now, ABA only service available for a lot autistic people & family.

most of it (< ABA*) still is shit. (*this disclaimer applies to rest of repetition)

heard of more than enough cases of. insurance/school system/etc give pathetic number of hours/sessions for speech, OT, etc for autism but many more hours of ABA. or only cover ABA.

most of it still shit.

some speech & OT & other so called “alternatives to ABA” use behavioral & ABA tactics.

most of it still shit.

for many family, especially those with autistic person diagnosed as “severe” or level 3 and or have extreme behavioral issues etc. their option isn’t “ABA or no ABA.” often, option is “ABA or be labeled as abusive neglectful by government” or “ABA or have child taken away” “you ‘willingly’ enroll in ABA or we take and put them in ABA anyway” or “ABA or lose job.”

most of it still shit.

“ABA or lose job” because school not able or not willing help (because autistic person’s needs “that much”), you keep getting called to pick them up from school, from day care. other people not know how “deal with” your autistic family member, you know how help them a little more but also you sure as hell don’t and are just as lost. so you keep miss work to go pick them up from places that kick them out and you exhausted and you not get sleep because autistic family member needs pretty constant supervision and you not have respite and you not know how help and eventually your job fires you because you keep miss work. and oh did ever mention caring for disabled person extremely expensive? but oh btw there ABA agency you can send autistic family member to for up to 40 hour/week so maybe you can keep job and thus keep roof over head and can still put food on table for family for your autistic family member. oh they also say they may able help with autistic family member behavior so maybe they don’t get kicked out of every necessary service.

most of it still shit.

ABA agencies frequently kick out people deemed too severe or “cannot be helped” or too violent or too many behavioral issues or cause too much harm.

most of it still shit.

in world where may & very often do kill you for seeing you as different thus “threat,” ability mask life saving survival tactic. am talking about POC. am specifically especially talking about Black people. is teaching how mask greater evil than dead killed hatecrimed? sure, no one should have to choose between these two options, but world not care about your morals n your “should”s n your envisioned better future you may or may not be actively help build right now, these people need survive in real world here and now.

most of it still shit.

there (some. a few.) ABA survivors who went thru ABA in past and now who think ABA helped. helped them gain skill. help them prevent harm. some of them don’t see self as abused in ABA or traumatized by ABA. some see it as both abused and helped and grateful for help and hate abuse. some see as both abused and helped and don’t see amount of helped as ever worth abuse.

most of it still shit. (so many were & are abused. n abuse is abuse)

many newer ABA agencies realize ABA heavily criticized n labeled abusive & say they change methods & no longer practice old school ABA & now no longer abusive.

most of it still shit. (many of these agencies still do coercive abusive stuff even if call themselves changed)

some of them maybe truly changed. getting rid of abusive practices, focusing on skill building & adaptive functioning, child-led, instead of drills and forced masking.

most of it still shit.

talk a lot with people who so adamant about “all ABA abuse” “all parents who put child into ABA abused deserve get child taken away” who never was in personal proximity of ABA who. when ask to describe what ABA is in own words, not able to. or give generic response like “abuse & force mask”, but when ask to describe specific methods they do that, not able to. when ask them what discrete trial training and prompting is and what goals may look like and how they write behavioral analysis, never heard of any of them. say listen to ABA survivors, but not able name any individual names. just “oh listen to them online, if you actually listen like me you would know & i wouldn’t need say more so it really your ignorance.” but more often, just get reactionary shut down whole conversation be seen as ableist threat if even be asked first question. how you help advocate for ABA survivors if don’t even know what ABA is? or who ABA survivors? if cannot even talk about ABA? how even fight against your enemy if don’t even know what enemy look like, not able pick out enemy from crowd unless spoon fed?

most of it still shit.

found that. when am talking about ABA. from add nuance to encourage thought provoking questions to even rhetorically ask people to describe ABA. have to repeat emphasize that am not saying ABA all not abusive. even if it first thing i lead with. even if it super clear that am indeed criticizing ABA, just with more grey area and nuances than people used to. lot people will block me from this post just within some paragraphs. lot will block me over saying “most of it still shit” instead of denounce all ABA, when it clear that use of word “most” is deliberate choice n reason of said choice is in every corner of this post. others will finish reading (if even that) and all get out of is repeating “most of it still shit.” made similar posts year(s) ago. and still, find people vague post or explicitly post about me or my post, paint me as evil ABA apologist. whenever come across people who talk about “post where talk about ABA good,” stop and wonder, are they talking about me?

don’t want to talk about ABA because of this. tired, not worth it, often is bad starting point is turn off for people who never seen my posts when have other posts much easier entry point, n start off at bad start may cause them to not listen to me and maybe even other higher support needs and or nonverbal nonspeaking autistics in foreseeable future or ever.

you know, this post started off as “… so you all know i don’t think kindly of ABA right”

throughout write this post, don’t know which part am emphasizing more. the “most of it still shit” part or parts in between.

still. most of it still shit.