#and spy fucking taking off his mask but still not saying he's their grandpa but just jeremy's co worker

[skaluli]

the final tf2 comic lowkey got me emotional it was everything dude i love it so much

[selfetishizing]

In which Eiji grossly overestimates the amount of mandarins he and Ash can eat. / 🍊 / ao3

Eiji comes home with a carton of mandarins and drops them at the entrance step with a dull thump.

“It was a good deal,” he tells Ash between breaths. “Ten kilograms for six thousand yen.” And then something about Mikan mandarins being nothing like those Floridian jokes for citrus and how the season for them is coming to a close. Ash never asked in the first place. It was as though he was defending himself from something before Ash could even open his mouth.

“Okay.” Ash kisses him on the cheek and helps him out of his coat, always in that order. Eiji stands on his toes, balancing himself with the cords of Ash’s sweater to aim another on his mouth. Ash leans down to help him, unconsciously souring his expression as he pulls back. “Have one on your way home?” He kisses him again for surety and, well, sure enough, his lips taste like they had been doused with Tang.

“A couple. Two couples.”

Ash whistles. “Dang. These oranges must be somethin’.”

"Mandarins, Ash. Mandarins. Not that I’d know the difference,” he sighs. “Oranges, mandarins... They're all kind of the same aren't they? Maybe it's about the size, the firmness, the peel. Maybe it's about the taste. All I know is that mandarins are like candy, and whatever this is,” Eiji pushes his chest out and wildly gesticulates to the accursed box before them, “is not it. These must be clementines from— oh, I don't know!— Pensa-fucking-cola!” He erupts all at once, shooting up like a thermometer on a dog day June afternoon and fizzling out like cola foam.

Eiji leans back against the door and Ash on the bannister. They stare at it, Eiji with utter disdain and Ash with morbid curiosity. Like a pack of Tic Tacs magnified by one hundred, he muses.

Ash crouches down to pick one of the mandarins up. Eiji moves in accordance, hand reaching out as if to stop him— that the fruit would poison him if he so much as hovered over it. Despite this silent warning, Ash grabs three and plays court jester for His Highness.

He juggles.

He juggles and he absolutely sucks at it while Eiji watches in complete horror; seeing the mandarins not as mandarins, but clipped grenades ready to blow the very hands that handled it. The color had gone from his face. He is but a pale sheet reflecting the warm hue of the ball pit that tormented him from below.

Eiji flashes him a mortified look. What the hell do you think you're doing?

Ash concentrates. Trying not to mess up.

Eiji frowns. This isn’t funny.

Ash almost cries. Yeah it is.

And he messes up.

The mandarins drop to the floor, sad little balls with not a lot of roll in them. Their eyes trace them as they huddle next to the box, like they had desperately wanted to go home and out of the reach of these two men that were belittling them.

Defeated, Eiji's back slides down the door. He holds his head in his hands.

“I miscalculated,” he says exasperatedly. “What are we going to do with all of these oranges?”

“Mandarins.”

“Mandarins.”

Ash sits level with him on the first step, eyes gleaming with warrior morale. He grabs the enemy and thrusts his fingers unto him, peeling them from their leathery armor. Ash— the fearless brute!— sections his enemy into eighths and tears into their head, innards spilling down his chin. In savage fashion, he wipes their juices with the back of his hand, going as far as offering their remains to Eiji. He grins. “We’re gonna eat ‘em.”

──────────⊹⊱🍊⊰⊹──────────

The sun slowly filters through bleary eyes and he sees a blob of Eiji watching him, head propped on both elbows. Ash hums as Eiji runs his hands through his hair, neither awake or asleep.

“An angel,” he murmurs, grasping his wrist and pulling him in. He presses his lips on the inside of his arm.

“Not quite.” Eiji climbs over him, heartbeats tethered. He smooches his jaw, laces their hands loosely. “Your worst nightmare, actually. A real devil with horns and a pitchfork.”

“Oh no.” Ash wraps an arm around Eiji’s waist, keeping them fixed together. He aims— bullseye!— for his lips, scrunching his nose when he tastes him on his tongue. “Oh no.” Mandarines today. Tangerines yesterday. Clementines the day before.

The wisps of Eiji’s hair tickle his skin as he laughs into his chest. “Told you so.”

“Sugar, you’re sour!”

“You really won’t like what’s for breakfast then.” Eiji rests his cheek against his shoulder, looking up from behind his lashes. Ash stares at him, the world in his eyes. It's enough to mask his disappointment.

“Again?”

“Yes, again. It was your idea."

“Can’t I have you for breakfast?”

“No, silly. That would be cannibalism.”

“But you’d be so delicious." Ash brings their held hands to his mouth, playfully biting one of Eiji’s fingers. Oranges. Of course it tastes like oranges. “Actually, on second thought....”

“Poor thing,” patronizes Eiji, patting his head like he’s the star player of a losing team. “You poor, poor thing.”

“You’re evil,” Ash whispers.

“I know, and you’re absolutely mad about me for it.” Eiji winks and untangles himself from Ash’s cling. He swipes his bangs up and pecks him on the forehead. “It’s waiting for you downstairs.”

“‘It?’ What is ‘it?'”

Eiji is already out the door, down the hall before he can answer.

Ash rolls himself up with linen wraps and lays lax in their unmade bed, ruler of this citrus peel mausoleum. He curses to himself, at the sun, at his sweet-turned-sourheart. He wishes it was the weekend. Then, he'd have an excuse to stay in bed all day and never leave their room. He'd be able to snack on all the Eiji he wants without burning the roof of his mouth with acid fruit.

──────────⊹⊱🍊⊰⊹──────────

The low table is dressed with white lace placemats and their finest floral china— courtesy of Missus Mom Okumura. A carafe is the centerpiece, replacing the vase of lilies Ash had bought Eiji when he went into town. Ash looks through the glass, Eiji’s head bobbing in the saffron pool.

“Come sit,” beckons Eiji, motioning to the cushion adjacent to him. His smile is distorted by pulp. Cautiously, Ash enters. He keeps it cool, keeps it blasé as he shuffles his feet inside with his knuckles tucked into the waistband of his brief, elbows pointed outward. There, his place is set with wooden chopsticks and their granite stopper. And lo and behold, the main course’s presentation is that of a rose, blooming from its peel. He should’ve known.

“You’re joking.”

Ash would've laughed had the situation not been so ridiculous.

“I wish I was.”

“How is it that we have an infinite arsenal of mandarins?”

“Not infinite. The box is almost empty.”

“It took us four days of constant snacking to get to this point.”

“And it will take us one more to finish it.”

Ash points an accusatory finger at him. “You’re crazy if you think I’m gonna stuff myself with another one of those. My shit is literally orange.”

“Put me in a sanatorium then.” Eiji slides the plate in his direction. “Breakfast is served.”

──────────⊹⊱🍊⊰⊹──────────

Ash always liked train rides in Japan, liked how silent it was, and the comforting voice of the announcer telling them they’d arrived at their destination. Living in the countryside meant sprawling fields for hours until they reached the city, a scene Ash never seemed to tire of. A cow would greet him for a second before they were replaced by some grandpa with muddied ankles, before he was replaced by a young girl on a Tiffany blue bell bike, before she was replaced with…

As he stares out the window, he can see Eiji, sitting across from him cross-legged, peeling another offending mandarin. Ash sighs, trying to immerse himself back into his one-man game of I Spy. Eiji wins his attention again— he always does— and so Ash settles on watching Eiji’s reflection behind him.

Eiji always starts at the middle and digs his thumbs into the peel, pulling its skin off as if he were undressing it. Erotic, Ash thinks fleetingly. He strips it sensually, letting it unfurl into a sproutling. Juice drips down his hand when he carelessly breaks into its flesh. Eiji licks up from his wrist, the heel of his palm and sucks on a finger. Naughty, naughty. Ash smiles into his sleeve, letting the thought float up in his head and burst into a million soap bubbles.

Finally, for once this week, his mouth waters, parched. Ash supposes this is what it means to be in love. Even the most mundane of tasks can look enticing if your other half is doing it. He’s sure he’ll be over the moon about this snapshot scene for the rest of the month. He’ll count the replays of Eiji in the train instead of sheep just before slumber, ensuring him tender dreams.

“It’s a lucky sweet one.” Telepathic. Eiji seems to know exactly what he wants.

Ash nods.

Eiji breaks it into fourths, a fourth into a half. Instead of giving him a section, Eiji rises from his seat to sit beside Ash; crosses his legs, leans in, opens his mouth to say “aaaah” as he feeds him. Ash devours, nips his nail.

“There’s people in this car,” Eiji whispers sharply, eyes darting left and right. A man is reading the paper— a huge parrotfish is its cover story. There’s a teenage boy in the back fiddling with his phone, neon lights of his game reflecting softly on his face. A woman Ash presumes worked the night shift is sound asleep.

“No one’s looking.” Ash wraps an arm around him and scooches closer. “Quickly.”

Eiji, Mister Goody-Two-Shoes, puffs his cheek and scans the area one more time, switching his gaze from Ash’s mischievous stare to his near-empty surroundings. He surrenders and angles his head up, eyes closed, waiting, aching. Ash captures him.

“You taste like Sunday morning,” Ash coos, supping the remnants of his juice-glossed lips.

“Ever the poet.” Eiji, blushing, concentrates on turning more quarters into halves. “We still have four of these left. Hopefully they taste just as sweet.”

Ash is sure they will be.

He wouldn’t mind eating mandarins for the rest of his life so long as Eiji is peeling them for him.

[astronomoney]

This story was made by @tomatosamla and @le-green-lion and inspired by that one Oogway quote and the villain from spy kids 4 because why the fuck not

Summary: The Teen Titans of the future are sucked into the past where they run into their parents and must work together to get back to their own time

Word Count: 2.1k

Warnings: cursing, time travel, speedsters (they deserve their own warning)

Gifts

Chapter One: A Twist in Time

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift! That is why it is called present.

-Oogway

The day was as clear as Gotham could be. Batman and the Teen Titans were battling the villain known as Tick Tock, another Arkham wannabe that was kinda powerful in his own right, he was able to slow down time which definitely gave him advantage over the team, thankfully the speedster was able to do more damage than the rest (thank you superspeed).

"Damnit," Andromeda Kent cursed as time slowed once again. "I can't land any hits on this guy!"

"Just keep trying," Thomas Wayne shouted back. "He can't keep this up forever so we just need to outlast him! Kid Flash, go right!" He threw an exploding batarang at the villain and it moved in slow motion, drifting towards Pamela West who used her Super speed to give it an extra boost. Even with her help Tick Tock still had time to casually side step and avoid getting hit, luckily Nobody had planned for this and the batarang exploded next to the villains head.

He was thrown off balance and the effect of his powers disappeared giving Jaiden Pham a chance to use their powers. With the Green Lantern ring they tied up Tick tock so he couldn't slow the time. The Teen Titans walked over to him cautiously and Pam spoke up.

"Haha we stopped you! You really thought you'd get away with it butcha didn't cause we're here! The Teen Titans can stop anyone who threatens the innocent!" she rambled in true speedster fashion.

The villain laughed. "Do you really think you've defeated me? I'm offended. You must think of me as any old cheap bad guy without a backup plan. Well children, that was your first mistake." A swirling light came out of the ground underneath him, it stretched and began sucking things in. The heros were taken by surprise and none of them had time to react before they were sucked into the void.

Batman was the only person left on the road.

"KIDS!" screamed Damian as he saw his children fall into the portal, he reached out to grab them but they were already gone.

The Titans landed in a hard surface face first, Caipora was the first one to react, she tried attacking Tick Tock but he once again used his powers, she was able to land a hit thanks to her super abilities. Thomas once again began giving orders, until he saw his brother.

"Orphan! What the fuck are you doing here?!"

"I don't know. I was collecting intel and then I landed here!" he replied.

"Watch out!" screamed a guy in the... Robin costume?

"What the he-" said Kai, right before being pushed aside by none other than the Yara Flor herself, but she was younger...?

Tick Tock tried using his tricks once again, this time accelerating time (which none of them had seen before) in order to send Pam flying with too much speed for anyone's liking, Jai West was able to catch her in time.

"What is going on?" this time spoke Minh, Damian was... confused to say the very least, why was this kid dressed as him? Were these teenagers cosplaying or playing dress up? Those costumes looked like real hero stuff, so what the hell was going on?

Andromeda launched herself towards Tick Tock once more, the villain accelerated time again and Superboy came to catch her as the time warper slowed time once more. Damian started barking orders to all the heroes, he figured the abilities of those weird teenagers just by observing, maybe they would serve a purpose. Together the two teams tied Tick Tock once again, Damian touched his communicator in order to contact the batfam and take this dangerous villain to Arkham, in the meantime, they needed to talk.

Tick Tock laughed at their attempts to catch him before slowing time so much that they could barely move. "As fun as this is, I really must be going. I'm sure I'll see you all later." And with that he disappeared behind a corner leaving two generations of Titans behind, and one of those generations stranded.

Once the villain was far enough away his powers wore off and everyone was released from the time trap. Damian, kind of frustrated, went over to someone who was dressed like Nobody, first as he assumed that was the leader.

"Do you know that guy?"

"Yeah, an Arkham villain, before today we didn't think much of him, but now... I don't know."

"I don't know any Arkham villain with those abilities."

"Seriously? He's one of the popular ones."

Damian looked at him with just a brow raised, not much else in his face, Thomas eyes widened, he looked around and saw every other hero there, his sister gave him a confused look as he began to kinda panic.

"You're R-r-obin... the fifth Robin."

Damian moved his head in surprise, the other Titans started to figure out as well and they also started to panic.

"Yes, who are you?"

He didn't know if he should tell him, Thomas looked at his teammates and all of them nodded their heads, he took his mask off, Damian formulated a theory before the guy talked (they looked way too similar to him to be a coincidence), boy was his theory wrong.

"I'm your son."

Everyone of the present Titans froze at that, "What?"

"My name is Thomas Wayne, this is my brother-" he said signaling for his siblings to come over, "Jackson Wayne, and my sister... Minh Wayne." Damian was in shock, he kinda believed him because the similarities are way too many to ignore, still, he wouldn't totally believe them until he made some DNA tests.

Andromeda went over to Jon and Yara, "Mom... Dad-" she said, hugging them, they reacted kinda late, Jon totally believed her right that instant and hugged her back, Yara on the other hand wasn't quite sure.

Pam on the other, other hand didn't make any sentimentalism shit and just launched herself to her father, Jai didn't react right away, it took him a moment to process.

The Pham kids firstly went to Lian and then, smiling, Kai signaled his dad to come join them in the not so comfortable hug, Tai was shook, and drama completely ensued, because... well... he was not dating Lian... he was dating Mar'i.

"Wait a second, you're saying that you guys," Lian motioned towards the future Titans. "Are our," she pointed back at her team. "Kids? More specifically me and Tai have... kids?" She was definitely in shock as she looked over at Tai.

Mar'i stepped forward and spoke up. "That can't be right. I mean I'm dating Tai but if you guys are supposed to be their kids then," She paused as if trying to figure out how to word the question. "Then what happens to me?"

"YOU GUYS DATED?!?" Pam exclaimed before anyone else could say anything. "You never told me that!"

"KF, now's not the time." Thomas jumped in, he realized how confusing the situation was and he wasn't too sure what happened either but he did know they'd be better off talking about it somewhere more secure. He turned to Damian who still looked sceptical about everything. "You probably don't believe us and won't want to take us back to your base so why don't we head to a safe house. Is the one on Schapp avenue up yet?"

"We don't have any safe houses on Schapp avenue but I do know of a place nearby." He glanced at Jon, his eyes told the super to be alert. The Future Titans looked, acted, and had powers awfully similar to the Teen Titans but who's to say they weren't just trying to trick them. "It's on the corner of Camron and Murphy, are you familiar with that area?"

"Upper west side right?" Minh asked. "We know it but where we're from it's called the West River district."

"Interesting," Damian muttered. He looked around at the future Titans again before turning towards his bike. "Let's all meet there." With that he sped off, the Teen Titans followed shortly after most of them having some form of fast power. The Future Titans were left standing on the corner.

"Listen team, I don't know what's happening but we're clearly in the past and I don't think telling them everything about the future is the best idea." Thomas said in his signature Batman authority voice. "If they know what'll happen to them they might try to prevent some things and that won't go over well for anyone so be careful about what you say. Especially you KF."

"What? Why are you targeting me?" She asked with exaggerated offense.

"Because out of everyone on this team you're the most likely to tell them about some crazy important event that they definitely shouldn't know about," Jaiden laughed, pointing out how bad Pam was at keeping secrets.

She smacked their arm lightly. "That is so not fair."

"Also, Kai, I know you didn't do it on purpose but... come on man" Thomas continued.

"Everyone was doing it!"

"So they DID date, why didn't anyone tell m-"

"Just!" interrupted Jackson "let's get this over with, we will meet them there and then we will find a way to go back to our time and also to capture Tick Tock."

Andromeda interjected, "or... we can capture Tick Tock and wait for our parents to come for us."

"Either way, we should get going, knowing my dad he called grandpa Bruce to bring some DNA tests and uncle Tim will be there too, and knowing them they will bring the whole family and uncle Dick will be very impatient." said the team leader with his siblings nodding every word he said.

"In that case, wouldn't all of our families be called?" Asked Pam.

"I don't know, probably not." answered Jaiden.

Thomas and Jackson were carried there by Andy, because super strength, Kai was carried by Jaiden, because ring, and Mihn was carried by Pam, because speed. Maybe some drama would ensue, but they were sure of something, everything would work out.

"WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS THIS?!"

"I don't remember uncle Jason ever being this strong worded with his kids, or us for that matter." said Mihn in a whisper to Kai who just nodded in shock.

"Little Wing, just... don't." Dick put a hand up before anything else could be said or done. "Ok, so... ummm, jeez, how do we start this?"

May we clarify that this conversation took place right after the DNA results returned, and they CONFIRMED that those kids were the Titans kids. Bruce went into shock, with Selina trying to calm him down (the main word being trying), Tim and Dick were surprised but said nothing, Jason... we already know, Clark was already playing with Jon and Andromeda, Roy almost fainted, Kori also started playing with Pam, and overall it was a very quiet moment for everyone... surprisingly.

"Soooo... who is your mom?" asked an Irey full of curiosity to her niece.

"Oh, she's-"

"Nope nope nope nope nope, you won't do that, nope." interrupted Jaiden.

Pam whined "But whyyyy?"

Andromeda puts a hand on her shoulder and says "Because, if anything in this world screams 'Temporal mayhem' it is speedsters."

"Ugh Andyyyy, that's no fun." Pam slumped.

"All right" says Irey, Andy lowers her hand and the next thing anyone knows is that Pam is almost on top of Irey screaming out loud "HER NAME IS RENATA AND SHE'S A CIVIL- ow, what was that for?" she said holding her head after Kai had used one of his arrows on her, barely touching her but making her stop.

"Why wouldn't I?"

Thomas just shook his head in disappointment for their behavior, and Dick came to ask him something, of course he wouldn't miss a chance to tease his little brother.

"So, who's your mom?"

"I definitely won't answer that one, thank you very much."

On the other side of the safe house (in the same room, just on the other side of it) Jason aproched Jackson.

"What's your name kid?"

"Jackson...?"

"No motherfucking way, shit dude, HEY DEMON SPAWN, YOU NAMED YOUR KID AFTER REPLACEMENT?"

"Wait what?!" asked Tim before anyone could say anything.

"HIS NAME IS JACKSON!"

Mihn walked over to them, "Ummm, yeah, so?"

"You get along with Demon Spawn and you get along with Replacement, oh how great this day is."

"Jason, please stop, you're embarrassing me" complained Drake while Damian was giving them all his best ew face, Dick was kinda giving them a little smile, Jason was laughing his ass off and Bruce had a face that spelled regret for having so many children.

"Yeah, and my second name is Peter." Everyone froze at that, everything was silent until Dick, Tim and Damian, all at the same time started hysterically laughing

[humankoalaa]

BLACK LIGHTNING 3X06

*SPOILERS AHEAD*

anissa hush with this if i die video. you ain’t bout to die girl 😂

tayvon 😭😭 jasun wardlaw jr. is so handsome.

lynn.... 🤦🏾‍♀️

oh no jamila. bye girl. at a funeral? you looking for a story? BYE. who raised you? my mother would’ve slapped the shit outta me.

LMAO nissa and lynn weren’t having it.

jeff... ugh my grandpa with allllll the patience for jamilas rude ass.

tied of my grandparents fighting. at least lynn ain’t high as hell tawm bout bullshit.

thundergambi ❤️

woah..... nissas meta genes affected too? shit.

she said how much time i got 😂😂 tv be killing me knowing damn well people ain’t bout to die.

gambi ready to snitch 😂

oooooo bih i thought that was lady eve. iss gina tho.

i thought truth teller was henderson 😩 i need to stay off this weed when im watching be forgetting or not noticing shit 😩

lynn and tobias are my favorite enemies.

how nafessa/thunder still look 😍 “dying?” .... black don’t crack. dass why. all offense.

jeffs identities with these two black eyes would be more subtle than blackbirds mask. i said what i said.

ooooo jeff said sorry. growth.

i knew she’d blame herself for tayvons death 😣

😂😂😂 “it’s like that?” ... jeff why you ask that when your daughter is petty?

commercial break. im bouta to get lit. this episode got a chill vibe. i needs my weed to really embrace the chillness. ... by any means necessary y’all.

my friend said YOU JUST GOT HIGH.... girl... 🤣 mhm she is. if you don’t know what that means.... well.

“im not a porcelain doll” 🤣🤣

Bruce Leroy? theure REALLY tryna break a record how many corny things a character say in a tv show record. stop playing with my mother man.

“you smell of death” 😂😂 grace. filter. what is it? .... nevermimd ms. choi. nevermimd.

nissa lying through her damn quilt.

that quilt can’t even keep the sun warm.

“I’m not aboutt to lose you now” 😍

BUT LIKE ANISSA COULD BE IN THE SHOWER WITH GRACE BUT POISON 😤 talk about a kittyblock. im pissed.

ooooo hair bitch you spying on my recently excommunicated grandmother? i couldn’t y’all she was getting on my nerves 😩 ididnt have a choice!

jenn....... dude took your electricity or whatever last time..... how you ain’t learn 😩

odell in peoples house uninvited AGAIN 🤦🏾‍♀️

i will barbecue your black ass 😂

oh shit mr handsome disappearing meta is back 👀 i need him and painkiller to fight.

jamila... you nosey.

i see the green light ain’t fuck her up that bad.

okay hair. you alright for now. he can manipulate the earth? ok. bet not be manipulating my auntie.

ooooooo gambi knows it’s painkiller.

okay i agree. tobias ain’t as bad ass odell..... pains me to say that.

🤣🤣🤣🤣 tobias is such a troll.

“neon negro” bitch im deaaaaddd. tobiaaaasss 😭😭😭😭 im cryn.

“anissa? baby?” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 sing to me grace! you bettah saaang 😭

the lesbian in me is gonna say grace has gambi on speed dial. let me have this. SH.

#thundergambrace has my heart. that’s their ship name. you read it here first.

grace i want to thank you for taking off the hoodie.

worried grace ❤️

he called grace pretty lady 😭

oooooo odell finna die *i know he’s not but he better be severaly wounded* preferably like shot in the mouth. im a nice person i swear i just cannot with this mans.

KILL HIS ASSSSS MR MARKOVIAN

JEFF?! really?! you couldn’t arrive one second later? DAMN! 😤

pathetic? cause he doesn’t kill? see you should’ve let mr. markovian kill his ass jeff.

i keep think gina is lady eve. ALSO seriously?? it’s jamila? now she’s part of the resistance squad? 🤦🏾‍♀️

ohhhh shit. welp. hi dr. jace.

dr. jace. matching to the gods rn. she got that nancy grace hair that don’t never move.

thundergrace cuddles ❤️

why grace take the empty bowl up there to the shower....

PAUSE! was grace bout to change into the leopard cause of anissas i guess rotting insides? i know i shouldn’t laugh but .... 😂

gambi 🤭 oooooooooo he knows.

man im ready for lynn and jeff to divorce. like Jeff could’ve died lynn.

lol you crazy lynn. gang green crazy. most people be on that liquor. lynn out here on whatever the hell gang green is. lawd.

this episode was a nice change of pace. my blood pressure coulfnt handle another last week type episode y’all. see y’all next week 🤞🏾❤️

[buffalorepublic]

I’m mad about Rise of Skywalker so here’s a way that JJ could’ve done it (this is for me so I can deal with what actually happened, if you don’t like it that’s okay, just don’t pick a fight about it)

The rolling opening is the same, Palpatine’s voice is heard through the galaxy, Kylo Ren doesn’t like the threat to power, blah blah blah

Kylo Ren is on that same planet except when he opens the box it’s a Sith Holocron

Cut to Finn and Poe on the Falcon getting the info about the spy. The info is not that palpatine is back, but that the first order is weak right now because kylo ren is not watching over it but on his little side quest

We switch to Rey, and see her training. She looks through Luke’s old stuff and finds a Jedi holocron that wasn’t there before *ooo mystery*

There are scenes of both Kylo Ren and Rey trying to open the holocrons. They are not very succesful

Cut to Finn and Poe. They are married. They interact the same way as in the movie cause John Boyega and Oscar Isaac are the only ones that care about us. They are planning a big attack on the First Order. One that could wipe them out.

Rey needs to find someone that can help her open the holocron. She decides to go on the trip with Finn and Poe to that one planet with all the first order troops to get info on the first order

They run into Poe’s ex girlfriend spice runner, she’s the one with info on the first order. There’s a cute little scene of Poe introducing her to Finn, his husband.

On the planet, Rey meets an old woman (think Chewie old as fuck) who remembers the days of the Jedi and tells Rey how to open the holocron

Finn and Poe get the info they need but then the first order shows up and they have to leave quickly.

The falcon gets damaged and they have to emergency land on the Endor moon with the ex storm troopers. Finn bonds with them. He is still established as force sensitive in the same way that Leia was in the original triology.

Rey goes a little bit from their camp to try and be one with the force to open up the holocron. We see a mirrored scene of Kylo Ren on his ship with the Vader mask. They both are able to open it.

The Jedi holocron leads to a Jedi temple while the sith holocron leads to a sith temple. This is where Rey and her friends must split up.

Finn and Poe make it back to base with the ex storm troopers, they actually have screen time. Leia is proud of her sons. She decides it time that she stepped down and makes Poe general. We get a cute scene of Poe telling Finn that he can’t do it alone and so they become co generals. Leia does not die.

Cut to Rey in the Jedi temple and Kylo in the Sith temple. We get mirrored scenes of them walking through them. Kylo Ren gets to a room in which we see the old Sith Lords through the force. They tell him he’s not a real Sith. He’s just a little boy that wants to be like grandpa. And he is like grandpa, weak. He sees him kill his dad and they show him Leia when Han was killed. This breaks Kylo Ren. He has a change of heart. Not a redemption, just a change of heart. He leaves the Sith temple and his light saber stays.

Rey is deep in the Jedi temple. We see a Jedi force ghost from the Old Republic. They tell her that she is not a Jedi. A true Jedi hasn’t existed for a while. Luke was not a Jedi, no matter how hard he tried. The Jedi during the republic’s reign were not true Jedi towards the end. They were perverted by war. Rey storms out of the temple, leaving Luke’s (and Anakin’s) lightsaber behind, we see her rage. We see it fade as Luke appears outside the temple. He eases her fears. She can bring back the Jedi. He warns that her friends need her help. She leaves for them

Finn and Poe are leaving for the command ship to try an attack. If they take the command ship down, the rest will follow. It’s because of a big weapon that would connect them together, but they would have to take their shields down to link them, leaving them vunerable. The ex stormtroopers go with them to help.

Rey gets back to base too late. Her friends have left. They don’t know that they are leaving for a trap. Hux, the spy, was identified and interrogated for info. There’s a whole bunch of tie fighters waiting for the rebels.

Before Rey leaves for them, Leia takes her aside and gives her the light saber that leia made. It fits Rey much better than Luke’s did.

Cut to Finn and Poe on the Falcon. They jump out of hyperspace to see the command ship surrounded. They manage to get a distress call out for everyone that could help them take down the first order before they are taken capture inside the command ship. The ship is able to get its shield up.

Cut to Kylo Ren interrogating them. He asks them what their plan was to destroy the first order. He doesn’t know about the weapon as he was gone during its development. He wants to help. Finn and Poe are skeptical as they should be. Kylo senses Rey as she jumps out of hyperspace to see the command ship. He leaves and command the first order officers to let her on board.

Cut to Rey on board the ship. She confronts Kylo. He opens his arms and tells her to end him. He deserves it. She can sense his change. She turns her lightsaber off. He leads her to her friends and they escape. Kylo tries to cause damage to ship while Finn, Poe, Rey and the ex storm troopers hop into the tie fighters and the falcon to launch their attack.

They are getting beat badly by the first order. Kylo Ren is getting beat up by storm troopers. He manages to get the shields down and dies. He is not seen as a hero considering all the bad he’s done. This is not a redemption.

All the sudden, hundreds of ships pop up. They are led by Lando, who heard the call and broadcasted it further. There is a big space battle resulting in the first order ship being destroyed. We see mini rebellions everywhere, and the first order ships falling out of the sky.

Cut to the rebel base. They are celebrating. Finn and Poe kiss. We love husbands. Rey talks to Leia about Kylo Ren. Leia says he wasn’t a hero but he tried his best towards the end. We see a female rebel pilot flirt with Rey. She flirts back. Rey asks Finn and Poe what they’re going to do now. They say that the first order troops are still out there and they plan to go eradicate all of them, or turn them to the light. They ask Rey what she plans to do. She looks at the female rebel pilot she flirted with and then back at them. She smiles.

Cut to Rey, on an unnamed planet. She is teaching younglings the way of the force. She is teaching them to be Jedi. The female rebel pilot is there watching them with a smile on her face. The end.

[yugihell]

Rowan Reads YGO Volume 1

In which I (fairly pointlessly I know) liveblog my reading of Volume One of the manga and talk about the things I found interesting. As you can guess by the fact I’ve put it under a cut, there were... quite a few bits. But you get pictures too, so it’s not all bad.

Next -->

Note: Using English names (except for Ryou when he turns up), and Atem for ‘Yami Yugi’ cus if I’m going to reconcile this as the same character I’ll have to start as I mean to go on.

----

Duel 1 - You Could’ve Just Played Basketball:

Who the fuck plays Pop-Up Pirate on their own?

AU fic where Yugi goes and plays basketball, makes friends that way, and never meets Atem.

But seriously, it’s not like he’s shunned by his classmates. He chooses to stay inside on his own rather than play ball with them, which I think is important.

Is it just me who wants to work the “we’ll let the girls play too” and “only a girl would care about a box” kind of lines for trans Yugi headcanons. No, just me? Fine.

So Yugi’s actually saying the thought boxes out loud. Does he do this a lot?

Téa being a badass and pervy-definitely-not-Fluffy-Bunny-Yugi™. 👌

Ok, so A) Yugi’s watched Dragon Ball, of course he has. B) He just assumes you get a wish? The wish isn’t canon?? I have been lied too???

Joey’s really caught up on this whole Yugi = Girl thing huh. I spy with my little eye, something beginning with niche-in-which-to-place-repressed-sexuality-Joey-with-a-crush. I can tick Wishshipping off my ‘How To Ship Every Character With Every Other Character’ list.

Why is Yugi so cavalier over his Grandpa’s future death? I can only assume that Yugi’s too immature to fully grasp this stuff (including what Atem’s doing and that’s why he doesn’t freak out more).

Gramps, I like you. So I’m gonna ignore this bit of your characterisation that has you perving on teenage girls.

Yeah, gaining powers and knowledge of darkness is in no way a wish, what is wrong with this boy.

But Gramps wanting to hawk the puzzle for cash is killing me. (So he didn’t discover the puzzle? Or is this retconned later?)

Yugi has some sort of bullying-based Stockholm Syndrome and I am uncomfort with alla this.

Joey: “Why are you doing this? If you stayed quiet like always…If you didn’t resist…You wouldn’t get hurt.” - there are worlds in that line. So Yugi doesn’t do this - he’s no defender of the meek, just meek. This implies something about Joey’s ‘code’ of bullying Yugi, and in addition actually runs counter to the whole ‘don’t be a girl’ (implying ‘fight back’) thing. Then put in a healthy dose of abusive homelife projection and I’ll just be in the corner sobbing.

Drowned-Rat Joey is not helping my condition. And he talked about this shit to Grandpa to try and keep Yugi safe. My heart.

Gramps. I love you for giving Yugi the money, I do. But GO TO THE POLICE. No wonder they settle everything with card games. AU where all the fucked up stuff inspires Téa to be lawyer by day and star dancer by night.

Grandpa if you know all this about the puzzle, why are you not more concerned?

I actually said “Uh oh” when I saw Atem.

Can Atem magically counterfeit money? Because that’s a useful skill.

You know how we’re never sure how fucked up Ryou is? That’s the feeling everyone has towards Yugi in-universe.

Atem holding out the knife to Ushio by the handle, cus safety first.

Springing like a gazelle there. No one would’ve guessed you’d been trapped in a puzzle for millennia.

Is there an argument to be made that Atem becomes more and more separate from Yugi as the series progresses because he’s feeding off Yugi. Not necessarily in a bad way. Like at the moment we’re in “less than the meanest ghost” and mostly magic phase - that perhaps this is closer to Marik’s experience, shadow magic emphasising certain traits and separating it from the host (though Atem is still an entity in his own right, mixed up in that). idk food for thought.

Presumably Ushio doesn’t get better. Hey angst fic: Atem going ‘round and finding everyone he fucked up and trying to fix it or make amends. Finding flowers on gravestones.

Yugi you just completed the puzzle and you’re chucking it in the air. My guy.

Joey’s riddle isn’t the same as the puzzle box’s even though I’ve seen those two conflated a lot. The puzzle has the hint of “something you see but have never seen before” - which I’m guessing refers to the eye. But am I supposed to buy that the ancient Egyptians never saw their own reflection, cus I’m calling bull. And the eye isn’t even part of the puzzle, it’s all on one piece - so how is it a hint? Eh.

Bless my little emotionally repressed chicken nugget running away and leaving his shoe behind.

---- Duel 2 Big (Pixel) Art-Attack:

Aw, look at the little bun-bun so happy about getting the chance to watch hardcore pornography.

“Maybe someone famous goes to our school.” … Good point. Kaiba, where are you?

Joey assuming ‘the star’ is male. This boy has a lot of ingrained sexism and unless manga-verse is way different, I don’t see that turning around much here.

Seriously, Yugi only counted one new friend. Where is StaTristically-average-tan?

*DBZTAS Nappa voice* Hey Fujita…

Yugi of course buys that it’s a girl straight off the bat. Mostly because he’s coping with full raging teenage hormones in a body that’s not even 5ft tall. Atem must’ve spent a lot of nights (/mornings/weekends/evenings) locked in his Soul Room with his fingers in his ears while trying to come up with new Duel Monsters strategies. It’s probably why he’s so good at it.

Joey’s willingness to kick people’s ass is great. And I know we all like the idea of completely non-violent little Yugi, but he didn’t say a word to stop Joey going for the guy.

Yugi’s little clenched fists when he’s kneeling beside Joey - cus it is still him at that point. You see what I mean when I say the ‘Atem’ we see here feels like both extension of Yugi as much as separate entity.

Also the fact that the idea of this Penalty Game clearly comes from porn that Atem hasn’t been exposed to yet. Unless Yugi got right on that after solving the puzzle, which I suppose is possible. I usually just have a bottle of good quality ginger beer or something to celebrate my accomplishments, but to each their own.

I really want to see a good live action yugioh thing where Yugi and Atem are played by the same actor. Maybe using twins to freak out the audience by suddenly having a scene with both of them in.

Now the Astragali thing is cool, but can someone chart out for me what things Atem remembers about Ancient Egypt and what things he doesn’t.

I can see why Kaiba and Atem work so well together. They’re both cheating bastards at heart.

Bonus - Future King Of Games:

---- Duel 3 - Attention Duelists My Son Is Assaulting Your Ears (And This Random Kid):

Is Karaoke guy Attention Duelist’s son? Cus he really looks like it.

Joey friendshipping aggressively:

Someone blow up that tiny frame of Téa punching a perving Joey in the face for me so I can hang it on my wall.

Yugi, it’s getting people to go and see a guy sing badly, not to get dismembered. No-one liked selling school raffle tickets to dupes either, just buck up and deal. Maybe he’s got better - he’s practicing at least.

…Eh, but I’dve probably taken Hanasaki’s tickets too. I’m with Yugi’s reasoning here.

Yugi brought bells. Huh.

Ok so what’s the ship name for Yugi x Hanasaki. Come on now, I know it’s out there. Misplacedguiltshipping perhaps.

“I- Is this really Yugi…?! It’s like he’s possessed…” DING DING DING AND THE WINNER IS SOZOJI! Come on down and claim your prize (which I’m guessing is some kind of Penalty Game to the face).

Aw, my mother used to make me play The Silence Game all the time.

This expression:

“By a strange coincidence” read: Atem planned this Shadow Game out ahead of time. By putting in these weird dancing clowns. So if anyone was going to imply that it only got this extreme because Hanasaki got beaten up - your argument is invalid.

Um, nice of you to help carry Hanasaki away, very cute, but uh can we go back to the whole Shadow-Magic-Tinnitus, cus there was a line of rationality we crossed.

---- Duel 4Kids Averted:

Joey: “What? Are you scared? You have no guts!” Yugi: “But he has a gun! A gun!” Due to the lack of Tristan, Yugi here is forced to take over the role of ‘Only Reasonable Man’.

Joey canonically watches shitty journalist/detective movies and I love it.

Téa backing away with her frozen ‘welcome’ smile still on her face!

Obviously Joey can’t keep a secret, no surprises there, but little things like the translation still giving him a bit of an accent with the “awright” is interesting. Not just dub then.

The anime would’ve been better if we’d got to see Téa writing “TELL AND YOU DIE!!” on some burgers.

Joey being immediately supportive of Téa though and promising to keep his trap shut - even as Yugi expects him to say something rude. That’s cute as hell. And Téa paying for the ruined burgers.

The gunman’s threats and Joey not being able to keep his head down. This section’s full of neat bits for him.

Now this is interesting. This is the first time we see Yugi switch out of panic rather than anger. This is the first time Atem hasn’t been able to premeditate his reaction as well - he had time to plan all the previous encounters. Perhaps this is why it ends in the guy’s death.

I’ve changed my mind. I don’t think Yugi’s aware of what’s going on at all. New hypothesis: The reason he’s not more fucked up over setting a man on fire is because he doesn’t know ‘he’ did it - Joey seems to think it was the guy being an idiot, so why wouldn’t Yugi also think it was an accident. He clearly doesn’t see Ushio after, we never see him give the Director another thought, and don’t get to see any reaction after Sozoji either.

And Téa falling victim to the ‘Who was that masked man’ trope. *sigh*

---- Duel 5 - Troubles With Trelawney Kokurano:

Joey and his fighting expertise rears its head with no rebuke from Yugi.

Anzu: “You’ve seen the girls disappearing off at recess, right? They go to get their fortunes told. Anyway… I’m not into that stuff, but…” Joey: *glittering eyes* “I gotta get my fortune told! Right on!” Then being desperate to maintain his image cus it’s not cool for a guy to get his fortune told and passing the buck onto Téa. There’s some solid Joey and ‘girl’ meta in this stuff, huh?

(I see you meeting a tall handsome stranger. There’s a… blimp? A dog costume?? A blimp again??? *shakes crystal ball* hang on it does this sometimes)

Yugi getting pissed off at this unworthy sweaty goblin pawing Téa.

Téa swooning about the idea of Atem. Am I the only one who remembers him SETTING A MAN ON FIRE.

Joey getting grumbly over his tiny “You’re having bad luck” fortune. Aw, bad luck Joey. *ducks Joey’s punch*

Yugi getting straight to the point and calling the fortune teller a fraud to their face, albeit in a cute and evasive way.

Not entirely sure how Atem managed to avoid the bookshelves, but hey, this is the gazelle we’re talking about.

How did Kokurano get a bottle of chloroform? Which is actually labelled chloroform? Are there top chloroform brands?

“As long as I have my powers, any woman is mine!” - I mean you did just drug her, which isn’t very mystical powers/sunglasses emoji of you. Is he actually a bit unbalanced? Eh, regardless, he just chloroformed a girl so there’s no sympathy from me.

So this whole ‘paper pulling’ game is where Atem got his very extra card drawing style from.

Atem nearly losing and his cute “well this is a bit of a pickle” expression.

Can I be annoyed that there is no actually comeuppance for this one. Besides haha people find out he’s a fraud maybe. Cus while this is still morally grey and ultimately a reasonable end, Atem is not about the reasonable endings - see Sozoji the karaoke guy. He drugged Anzu for what we will euphemistically call ‘nefarious’ means. Why can’t he be programmed to have a 5 second delay to the rest of the world? Or everything is a bit laggy - permanently. This isn’t the one where I wanted you to develop a sense of reasonable punishment damn it.

----

Duel 6 - welp. i’m going to grillby’s:

Joey. I love you man. But shut up. -high fives the girl who told him to ‘drop dead’-

The fuck? You’re making a life sized Pop-Up Pirate for a carnival? Yugi. Boy. Go outside.

And we learn that Joey can build stuff. If he’s been making garage kits and plastic models for ages, is his room a secret nerd zone? Model planes and painted Duel Monsters figures everywhere.

Inogashira turning up and yelling at them to get out of their spot. Yugi doing his little shrinking down thing, while Téa storms right up in his face like ‘hell no’.

“Heh heh heh! There’s always some moron who starts a fight at these things! *And I wouldn’t miss it for the world!*” If I’ve read a more Joey line in this thing…

*Joey gets foot stuck and ends up being punched in the face* Yeah, that’s very him too.

Yugi earns 10 points to Gryffindor for courage, but loses 5 for stupidity. ~I fought the grill and the grill won~

Yugi now shown to switch when: angry, panicked, and when friend is crying.

(And did Atem just jump from the window? If they’re on the ground, couldn’t Tea just look out the window for him? If my injured friend suddenly vanished and there was an open window, I wouldn’t just be standing there).

WHERE DID YOU GET A TEST TUBE OF EXPLOSIVES ATEM?

HOW HAVE YOU HAD TIME TO FREEZE IT IN PUCK-SHAPED ICE?

Atem yet again gets in over his head in a game of his own making. And resorts to cheating - because yes Atem, that very much was cheating.

Atem exploded the guy - Yugi poured his energy into rebuilding the fair. Really confirming to me the idea that Yugi doesn’t know what Atem’s up too.

----

Duel 7 - Maybe He’s Born With It Maybe It’s An Ancient Spirit:

Now that’s interesting, Yugi not really liking Tristan, and Tristan thinking that Yugi’s got a grudge against him.

Joey: “Y’know, your store sells all kind of weird stuff, right?” Yugi: “Um… our store sells games…” Right, what weird stuff are they selling? Are the games like Snakes And Ladders sort of games, or Jumanji sort of games. I don’t trust Grandpa.

Grandpa: “I haven’t told Yugi the story, but this was how I got his grandmother.” Gramps you’re making that sound less ‘I romantically confessed my feelings on a blank puzzle’ and more ‘I traced around my dong and gave her a time and date’.

Tristan deciding he’s not a romantic after all and will force the tiny hormonal soda can to write his love letter. Great. “My beloved Ribbon, you look perfect in your yellow ribbon. I love you more than anything in the universe. From Hiroto Honda” You stayed up all night writing that? Kaiba could’ve written better and his emotional understanding is somewhere between a kumquat and a block of concrete.

Is Ms Chono related to Mai?

She needs more self-esteem. Also a chill pill. Maybe another hobby. Don’t need to go all Snape-y on your students.

“Underage dating is strictly prohibited” What the hell? You ok, Japan?

Again Tristan, you don't need to do a dramatic internal ‘goodbye cruel world’ you’re not about to be murdered.

Atem’s back to not murdering, ok. That was actually extremely tame of you. She wasn’t even covered in tentacles or anything.

FINALLY confirmation that Yugi isn’t ‘present’ for any of this stuff.

----

So. Volume 1 done. I’ve got to admit I found that way more readable than I expected (given my usual difficulties reading manga). Knowing the characters and their voices really helped a lot. Little things like finding out ‘the wish’ wasn’t real, and that Yugi isn’t present for these early switches is fascinating.

Next -->

[bolbianddolanhouse]

BNHA self insert AU

New to the AU? Start here!

Part1 Part2

Chapter 40.75: Step the FUCK Up Kyle!

The two arrive at the venue after everyone thanks to Jin’s portal express. Seeing everyone have fun sparked joy and even more excitement for the future. There was no gift or money giving because both of us were well off and just wanted everyone to attend. No garter toss because Tenya drinks respect women juice but I did toss the bouquet. That turned out to be a disaster because Pixie Bob, Midnight and some of the other single heroes were fighting each other for it. Then came my favorite part, the couples dance. We danced to Around by Niki with a slide-show of pictures on the screen behind us. We did a bunch of fancy floating moves with our quirks and we finally had our slow dance kiss at the end. Then came cake, it was almost too pretty to eat and I got a little dodgy when we were supposed to feed a piece to each other. The wedding photographer unfortunately captured all that nervousness but it was funny to look back at. I did so much dancing and drinking with my agent friends that Tenya had to take care of me toward the end of the night. We said our goodbyes and thank yous before going home.

“Tenya! I love you bitccchhh!” I was drunkenly serenading him.

“I know you do”

“I’m never gonna stop loving you, bitccchhhhh!”

Tenya was trying to undo the straps on my dress “Hold still, I’m trying to get you out of your dress.”

“Oh I’ll just-” I teleport out of my dress with just my underwear on “oops, I’m nakey hehehe.”

“Ah so that’s how you do it” he finally figured out my secret to fast undressing and dressing “you teleport in and out of clothes!”

“Yup” I teleport out of my underwear “now I’m true nakey” I throw myself onto Tenya “I’m not a virgin but I want you to do me like one.”

“No darling, you’re drunk” he took off his suit jacket “but if you wait a bit, we can bathe together.”

“Will you wash my hair?”

“Yes”

“Will you take off my makeup?”

“Of course, I’ll even do your skincare” He hoisted her up and took her to the bath “you want me to braid your hair after?”

“Yes please” I respond as I watch him make the bath “would you still love me if I was a boy?”

“Yes of course!” Tenya looked at her “I fell in love with the person you are.”

“Would you still love me if I wasn’t rich or successful?”

“I loved you before the riches and success, regardless, my heart is yours.”

The bath was ready and I didn’t have anymore questions, just too much affection as he tried to bathe me. I didn’t even remember what I said when I was drunk, I blacked out at the venue when Mimi and I pounded shots while the DJ played some oldies. Next thing I knew I was waking up next to Tenya with a bunch of love marks and bites on him. We went on a honeymoon to a government protected piece of coast where anybody can use their quirks, it was one of those quirk tourism things that peaked my interest. We spent our time getting drunk and beating the other couples at the quirk games that were being hosted. Just a whole week of just that, then things got pretty serious work wise when we got back.

-Robo Dog INC offices-

“Not to cause alarm” Beizu spoke up after reviewing some spreadsheets “but we can’t keep up with demand.”

“Oh shit really?” I questioned as I leaned over to see the sheets “fuuuck you right, does that mean we’re closing off or postponing consultations?”

“Closing off for 3 months at least!” He rubbed his face “I have some this week then I’ll be turning away people for robo companion.”

“How about you just schedule them 4 months out?”

“That might be a better idea” He sipped his coffee “but we need to start looking into expand the work floor” he sets his empty cup down “we can’t hire more people to work until we have the space for more.”

“I know! But to be honest, all the bigger buildings are too far to my liking” I slumped in my chair “I have to wait for a nearby one to go on the market.”

The company was in need of a lot of things in terms of expanding but I didn’t want to start any of it yet. And it was a good thing I didn’t because there was a rise in the villain world. The League of Villains recruited more people for an uprising and Black Phantom was called upon to take it down from the inside.

“I really wish we could’ve just sniped the hand-man while we had the chance” Jin sighed as he put on his gear “then maybe everything would be at peace.”

“Yea but he’s a good source of intel” I responded “but you know the goal for tonight, we get the hot one with the bird-mask and get out.”

“Why the fuck do all the villains gotta be so hot!” complained Mimi as she loaded her holsters “it’s not fair!”

“Can we refocus please?” I sternly snapped “we’re close to the hideout, if we get lucky, we could smoke them out again.” I lowered my visor “voice changers on yall, it’s go time!”

We raid the place silently and it seemed almost too easy this time but it was easy. Who knew that everyone was sleeping with no guard? I floated us in and once we found the person of interest, Jin just floor portaled them to the holding cell and we followed after.

“Oh man that was scary easy” I was in disbelief “did yall see all the spooning going on?”

“Yea! That was weird as hell but oddly cute” Mimi commented “speaking of oddly cute, who is this perp?”

“This is Kai Chisaki, aka Overhaul” I pull up the criminal record “he was responsible for some black market quirk erasing bullets and one count of child endangerment.” I show them the picture of the victim “you remember this little girl? The one the green twink and naked man rescued?”

“OH I remember! Poor girl was in pretty bad shape but she’s all grown up now!” Jin recalled “so this is the man that got away?”

“Yea apparently after Mirio got his quirk taken away but just before the green one ran off with the girl” I put the holding cell on lockdown “this guy and Nighteye fought but then he ran off and disappeared before he sustained serious damage. And he remained at large for years, almost cold cased until the new intel on the League.”

Mimi peered into the holding cell “Why are all the hot ones the most fucked up?!” she watched him thrash about “so we’re just gonna leave this one up to the interrogation team huh?” I nod in response, she sighs “are you going to pay a visit to the little girl?”

“Yup but this time I’m not going to dread this house visit” I smile “Aizawa got full custody of her when she turned 10 and she’s like 14 now.”

-Two Days later-

“It’s so nice to see you again Miss Palma!” Eri excitedly exclaimed “er, I should say Mrs Iida!”

I stifle my laugher “Oh it’s nice to see you too Eri!” I get pounced on by the girl “very lively! But I don’t have much time to play I’m afraid” I turn to Aizawa “thank you for letting me visit today, I know it’s your day off and you much rather nap.”

“Not a problem! You’re allowed to disrupt my free days” he motions me to sit in the living room “Eri, would you please serve the tea?” We sit as Eri walks out of earshot “Soooo, are we expecting another turbo child?”

I choke on air “Oh you got me fucked up! I’m not pregnant” I chuckled “sorry to disappoint but I don’t want a child just yet” I look at the picture on his end table of him, Mic, Eri and Shinso “children don’t just magically appear at my doorstep for me to care for like you!”

“Well, I was excited to be a grandpa, because I’d still be hot” he joked as Eri came back with tea “Okay then, what do you need to tell us?”

“Thank you Eri” I politely accepted her pour of tea “it’s about Overhaul, I caught him and is under custody in our facilities.”

“You’ve done it?!” Aizawa almost spilled tea on himself “how? The Hero Society deemed it cold-case!”

“I’ve been gaining intel from the League and other villain groups for years now via a spy” I sip tea “the moment we got word that the League was hiding him with confirmed sighting, my team and I swooped in and captured him” I hand him a folder “here, I know you’ve been working tirelessly to solve this for her sake. You’d be surprised what we found.”

“I don’t believe it!” he skimmed the pages “he’s been hiding right under our noses, of course Hawks had something to do with it!” he closes the folder “does that mean Eri can-”

“Yes, it means that Eri can attend a hero academy if she wishes to do so” I smiled as I finished his sentence “it also means that she no longer needs protected accompaniment, can travel beyond the 10 mile radius and can apply of a drivers license when she’s of age.”

“I can go to the mall by myself?!” Eri perked up “and I can go to UA?!” she turns to Aizawa, starry eyed.

“You’re not going to the mall by yourself! I’ll always be there with you” he said sternly but then chuckled “but yes you can go to UA, and just in time too! Entrance exams are coming up.”

“YAY! Thank you so much Mrs Iida!” she pounces on me again for a hug “I promise to do my best for all you’ve done for me!”

“Oh you sweet child” I start to tear up “it’s not a problem! I know you’ll do your best.” We say our goodbyes and I make my way home. It’s October now and I’m so satisfied with my life. At least, as much as I can control it. It’s been a month since the last I’ve heard from my caseworker about everything back home. Nothing has gotten better, more people I knew had fled their homes, leaving their parents behind in all the violence. It seems hopeless and I wish I could do something to help. At least my family is safe and getting by, I send them money so they can live as comfortably as they did when we lived in the old house. I miss my old home but I’m more excited to establish family to make it more homely.

“How was the visit?” asked Tenya, breaking my train of thought.

“Oh it was great!” I stretch my back “Eri is getting so big! And she’s planning to attend UA now that I’ve solved the cold case.”

“Thats amazing!” he comes closer to give me a tight embrace “you make such an impact in our community and I’m so proud of you every time you change the fate of others.”

“I’m just doing what I can within my power” I hug him back “you know I don’t give up on anything it I could help it.”

“It’s one of the things I love the most about you” he lifted her up “how lucky am I to have one of the sweetest souls in the world as my love?”

Luck had nothing to do with it, I best describe my time in this country as a train wreck that gets progressively weirder and it’s fixed with some duct tape. But I only live one day at a time, I’ll worry about the destination later when the time comes. Time passes us fast, once you get married it’s like time passes faster! It’s been a year and some change, I’m 25 and still very humble with all the riches and successes that has followed me. Tenya is 26 and slowly reaching the upper 20′s in the hero ranking, thanks to his brother and myself to help him along the way. It’s mid January, Tenya gets sent on a week long mission in Sendai, it’s the first time in years that we spent time apart. I made sure I make his welcome very momentous, because I had so much to share with him when he came back.

“I’m home!” Tenya yelled excitedly as he walk through the door “I missed saying that!”

“Welcome home Tenya” the little robo yipped “Mom missed you, she’s waiting for you in the main room.”

“Oh? Thank you” he was a bit taken back by this change of greeting, he’s so used to hearing Ita respond back. He makes his way to the living room, passing the kitchen and hallway to the guest room.

“Welcome home Tenya!” I yelled once I saw him “I missed you soooo much!” I jump on him for a tight hug “mmhm! I don’t think I like you being gone for so long” I pepper kisses on him “I need my man to love me so I can annoy him with my affection.”

“You know your affection doesn’t annoy me” he laughed at my clinginess “I miss giving you besitos and holding you close at night” he lingered on my hug “oh darling, it was rough out there but I’m so happy to be home.”

“I hope you’re hungry because I cooked you a grand meal!” I excitedly lead him to the table “ta-da! a four course meal in the candlelight!”

“Four courses?! Oh you missed me, missed me” he was shocked by the amount of thought I put into his welcome. As we ate, he told me of his time in Sendai and the other heroes that were called upon “...and I really hope that family is safe. Also do you think this trip will boost me up the ranking?”

“I talked to Tensei about that actually the other day” I said as I was walking back with dessert “he said that it will if you make it onto the media, like if they name you. Otherwise it won’t.”

He watches me set down dessert “Berry tart! Oh what splendid memories just flooded back” he cracked a big dumb smile as I served him a slice “remember when we went to that cafe at the end of 1st year and I was too shy to sit that close to you?” he took a bite “and as usual, everything you make is delicious! Oh man if only I told you that day I had feelings for you, it was a perfect winter day spent with you.”

“Oh stop! You had your chances, even on the bad days!” I playfully hit his arm “but I would’ve probably started to cry right there on the town plaza if you confessed” I suddenly remembered my big piece of news “Oh! I almost forgot, this invitation came in the mail earlier in the week” I levitated a yellow envelope with ‘Iida Household’ on the front of it in nice handwriting “I wanted to wait for you to come back to open it, since it’s addressed to both of us.”

He opens the envelope “It looks like a... birthday invitation?” he furrowed his brow and thought for a moment “who’s birthday is coming up? I can’t recall anyone’s except yours.” He opens the card and reads aloud:

Dear Iida household,

Hello! I’d like to invite you to my birthday! You see, it’s my very first one and I’m very excited to see you attend. You don’t know me but I’d like to get aquatinted with the both of you. There’s not much about me but my birthday is on July 28th, I’m a Leo. It’s a long way from now but I wanted to let you know because I know how busy being a Hero and a CEO must be. Anyways, I hope to see you then!

Yours Truly,

p.s. It just occurred to me that I don’t have a name yet, maybe you can help me with that and that’ll be your present to me!

“Huh, a person with no name?” he reread the invitation “and no address to said birthday” he turned to me “did the couple a few rows in front of us have a child that I wasn’t aware of?”

I stifle my laugh “Nope, read the invite again” I point to the p.s. part “see how they’re asking you for a name for a present?”

“I see that but what an odd request” he chopped, missing the point “wouldn’t it be customary to give a gift for a growing child? It’s their first birthday!” he sees me hold in my laugh “DON’T LAUGH! Tell me what am I not getting, you’re the riddle and puzzles expert.”

“Tenya, what did I serve you in this 4 course meal?”

“Baby quiche, side salad of baby greens with snow peas, steak with baby carrots and baby corn” he pointed at the tart “ and berry tart...but I don’t see how the meal relates to this mysterious invitation?”

“Oh goodness you’re hopeless” I laugh as I stand up “think long and hard Tenya, lots of baby named food, invite to a birthday 6 and a half months away, person that wants a name as a present and that we don’t know.”

He spends a good 5 minutes of mumbling to himself, trying to make sense of all the clues I pulled for him “I’m afraid I can’t crack this case” he checks the envelop for anything he could’ve missed “what did you piece from this?”

I couldn’t contain my laughter, I was tearing up laughing “Welp, I guess I’ll tell ya” I grab his hand and put it on my stomach “welcome home....daddy.”

He didn’t get it at first then it all clicked “Ita...your pregnant?!” he fell to his knees and put both hands on my stomach “oh my- I’m such an idiot!” he put his forehead on my stomach “why did you marry me, I can’t figure out something that’s so blatantly written out for me!”

“Silly, it doesn’t matter now” I put my hand on his head “we’re going to be parents! Isn’t that exciting that we’re building that future we thought we’d never get to?”

“Yes, I’m so excited to see the life you’re growing” he looked up at me, tears in his eyes “I said you could start your happy family with me, now it’s all coming together.” he kisses my stomach “you hear that? I can’t wait to meet you!”

I go through pregnancy once again but this time I took maternity leave at both jobs right at the 5th month of my pregnancy. I mainly did it to avoid publicity and cameras, so I can do my thing in peace. Surprisingly, I was the first one in my company to go on leave and it made me want to rewrite the leave so you’d get 8 months off instead of 5. So on said leave, I did the rewrite and had Beizu do all that paperwork and update everyone. He hated me for it but at least I wasn’t in the office overworking myself while heavily pregnant. We didn’t want a baby shower, mainly because we were already well off and it seemed like theft if we made our friends come and give us baby stuff. I ordered the baby stuff online for in-store pick up and uncle Jin and aunty Mimi would go get it for me. They were very excited to be an uncle and aunt to the point of jumping ahead to how my baby will interact and love them. My parents and in-laws were super pleased with the fact that we were pregnant. The In-laws announced it to the rest of the family and they all cheered that the family name will stay nice and strong. We decided to just have the crib and other baby stuff in our bedroom so we don’t have to have a baby monitor and have our baby within reach. It was nearly go time when Tenya got leave and I was in that nesting mode.

“We have to set up the bottle warming station!” I said franticly setting up the small machine “I’m going to pumping so much it’s not even funny! OH! can you-”

“Relax Ita, please!” Tenya begged “you’ve been up since 6am and hardly sat down” he rubbed her shoulders “why don’t you let me set this up while you take a nap nap on the couch? I’ll have a snack waiting for you when you wake up.”

“Alright, if it will make you feel better” I lean into his hands “then I’ll take a break.” I lay down and the baby started moving like crazy, not letting me sleep. 

“Oh you woke up?” Tenya asked as he saw me quickly sit up after an hour.

“Not to cause alarm” I slowly turn to where Tenya was and calmly spoke “but my water broke....deadass.”

Now Tenya was in panic as I calmly called Mimi and Jin that it was time. As we got in the car, I called my parents that I was on my way to the hospital to give birth. I can’t go to a regular hospital, so I have to go to a government protected one that’s an hour away from the gated community. Lucky me that Jin can portal us there in an instant. I was in labor for a while and gave natural birth to our first child. I didn’t need to go into stasis nor get stitched up, so I got see my baby for those crucial first few days. We got home just before the first summer storm.

“Oh wow look at you!” I cooed at my baby “you’re not scared of the rain or any of those big scary noises huh?”

“Is that normal?” asked Tenya, still trying to figure out how babies work.

“Not sure, but my mom said I was a very quiet and unfussy baby” I yawned “so maybe they got it from me.”

“Come on, both of you take a nap!” he coaxed the new mom to the couch “I’ll hold you both in my arms.”

“You’re too much” I yawned as I nestled myself in his arms with the baby in mine “but I love you.”

Tenya took in his surroundings, the house was quiet and the rain was coming down hard with some thunder in the far distance. He looked down to see the baby looking back up at him, the same way Ita would look at him when he’d hold her. “Can’t sleep? What is it?” he asked the newborn “this is your home, we’re going spend every waking moment here with you. Doesn’t that sound nice?” the newborn freed one of their hands from the blanket to extend out “Oh my sweet, little girl” he kissed their hand “I can’t wait to see the person you’ll become in our hectic and wonderful world.”

About a month later, we invited our friends to meet our baby. Literally, Tenya wanted a ‘meet our baby’ party instead of a birthday party because he REALLY wanted to show off our baby. I don’t blame him, we made a cute baby.

“What a cutie! Awww” Midnight squealed “what did you end up naming her?”

“Lili Perla” I responded with the baby in my arms “like the flower. Would you like to hold her?”

“I would!” she cradled the baby gently “Hello!~ It’s your aunty Midnight! I can’t wait to see you grow up into a little turbo kid like daddy. Or curly haired rebel like mommy.”

“Nemuri, isn’t my niece the cutest baby?!” cried out Tensei “I can tell she’ll have most of the Iida strong traits!”

“That terrifies me” I split my gaze between the two brothers “I can’t deal with yo rectangular like, fucked up brows havin asses! My baby is gonna be the prettiest little thing with all my family’s beauty traits.”

“I hope she’s outspoken like you” Midnight hands me back the baby “we need more Itas in this world.”

“Oh look it’s Lili-chan!” cooed Ochako with her son in her arms “say hi Maru! She’s going to be your friend and play with you when she gets big enough.”

“Don’t be shy Maru” coaxed Midoriya��“the Iida’s are our friends and Lili will be a very loyal friend just like their mom and dad.”

We watched the little boy wave and Lili waving back “Oh she’s picking up fast!” exclaimed Midnight “that’s peculiar.”

“Right?! She already knows basic things like greetings, waving, attention grabbing and flails her arms to music” I giggle a bit “like, she can’t talk but she gives a little yell when Tenya comes home and a long yell when she needs something. She doesn’t cry for anything!”

“Hey guys, I heard baby talk and had to see the little lady” Mineta said as he walked up to me “may I hold her?”

“Sure, make sure you support her head.”

“Hi there! I’m your cool uncle Minoru” he cooed at the baby “one day I’ll give you a cousin to play with.”

The baby didn’t bide well with the grape man and started crying “Oh no! She hates you” Todoroki said flatly “here, let me.” He held the baby and she instantly stopped crying “See? She doesn’t mind me.”

I started laughing “Oh fuck she’s learning a little too fast!” I saw that Shoto brought Touya with him “Hi Touya, surprised to see you here.”

“Yea, I had to see for myself that you had a baby” he said as he peered over Shoto’s shoulder to see the baby “what a cute little squish” Shoto hands him the baby “you don’t know me but your mommy saved me from some baddies and brought me to my family, don’t you grow up and give your mother trouble!” He turns to me “she isn’t afraid of me.”

“Seems like she isn’t afraid of anything yet” Touya hands me the baby “I’m sure it’s just a curiosity phase and she’ll be crying more as she gets older.”

“May I hold her?” Tokoyami asked me “lets see if she will cry with me.” I hand her over and she smiled as her hands touched his beak “nope, she’s like her mother, curious and giggly” he nuzzles her and Dark Shadow comes out to see the baby. Lili sees it and starts to grunt to touch it “You want Dark Shadow? Um, okay.” 

“I don’t believe it” Shinso smirked “you two managed to make the ideal baby in one try” Tokoyami hands Shinso the baby “oh the things you’ll get to experience with your mother, lucky you” Lili tugs on his shirt “what is it? You like the satin shirt?” Lili grunts in response “Ita what are you feeding this child to have them this...smart?”

“I’m just breastfeeding her I swear!” I look to Tenya “we have no idea if her level of response is because of a quirk or it’s her own level of intelligence and we’re just doing a good job at stimulating her enough.”

Seeing her grow up into little Miss Independent was quite the journey for a new parent. She was walking at 11 months old and running a few weeks after her 1st birthday, causing a lot of mischief. At 1 and 4 months she was talking in English and Japanese, small phrases like ‘howdy’ ‘mom’ ‘dad’ ‘doggy’ ‘hot’ and ‘not nice’. Her first word was doggy because Muffin 2.0 had to switch roles from security to nanny when she’d run around the house. When she turned two, her quirk grew in, smaller rocket-like engines on her feet! The amount of joy the Iida family got from hearing about this brought them to tears that the legacy will live on. My family was impressed that it wasn’t telekinesis and was excited to see another random quirk in our gene pool. But it didn’t stop there, when she got a little runny nose and blew her nose, her clothes instantly turned to threads! She had a second quirk, Master Thread! Tenya and I were so happy that she was blessed with two separate quirks that we helped her in anyway possible to develop her skills better at home. She really liked dancing and all the pretty costumes, so I put her in private lessons and fell in love with it. We didn’t stop at her though, we had another baby after Lili’s 3rd birthday, a baby boy named Iwata El Roca. And 4 years after him, twins! A boy and girl named Hanaka Rosa and Tensei Oro...can you tell who named who? It was a full house come Christmas time of six people and a robo dog. Everyone was tired and sprawled about on the couch, Lili was holding Hanaka on the far side, Ita was holding Iwata as she leaned on Tenya’s shoulder. Tenya was cradling baby Tensei and everyone was asleep after a grand meal and watching a holiday movie, except for Tenya. He took in his surroundings and sighed. He was in a new home, the house was quiet with just the sounds of his family breathing, snow was falling outside, everyone was safe and warm. How weird that everything fell into place when he fell in love with one person, now he shares his love in 5 different people that show it back.

“Hnn, Tenya” Ita drowsily spoke “we have to put the kids to bed.”

“Just 5 more minutes, please love.” He softly responded “When will we ever have them this little and peaceful again?”

“Fine, 5 more minutes” she pulled her son closer to her chest “I love you.”

“I love you more” he kissed her forehead.

-Book 1 End-

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