#and sorry for how long it took me to answer

[maybanksprincess]

choking kink

warnings: choking, unprotected p in v, creampie (oopsies), unprotected sex, kissing, little bit of a size kink, allusions to aftercare.

pairings: soft!dom!jj x sub!reader

requested by this ask, thank you nonnie <3. this is kinda short because its meant to be more of a small blurb!! sorry it took so long and thank you for the request baby.

jj was incessantly rambling about something, you couldn't even repeat back to him anything he was saying if he asked, because truthfully your mind wasn't anywhere near where his was.

all you could think about was how a few nights ago, jj had his hands around your throat, while fucking you in missionary.

the thought made you squeeze your thighs together, desperately trying to gain some friction, all while staring blankly at a wall. but only you knew what was really going on in your head.

when jj picked up on this, he immediately paused on his rambling, and turned to you with furrowed brows. "baby whats wrong?"

your snapped out of your thoughts by the sound of jjs concerned-laced words, "oh, nothing. jus' thinking. sorry..." you say making eye contact with him.

he looks down at your thighs, noticing the way they clench together, then back up to your lips noticing how your bottom one is pulled between your teeth. he flips his hat around with a knowing smirk, and he speaks to you in a cocky tone

"what you thinkin' bout' baby?" he asks you.

"...can you choke me again?" you ask sheepishly, as if it was the most embarrassing question to ask in the world.

you expected him to be confused, disgusted maybe, but the only thing you could register was the wolfish grin on his face.

—

he groans loudly from above you, as his left hand is wrapped around your throat, limiting your oxygen.

"you like that baby?" he grunts out, his hips slamming down into yours. "i can feel her clenchin' around me when i squeeze ur throat, baby. i think she likes it" he teases

you can feel your resolve weakening as his hips snap into yours at a frantic pace. you look down between your joined bodies to see his dick slide in and out. you tilt your head and watch as his heavy sack hits your backside as he thrusts into you.

you can feel his hand around your throat tightening, causing you to clench around his cock, eliciting a moan out of him.

he leans down to kiss you, his hand still gripping your throat with a gentle force, his hips never faltering against yours. he mumbles into your mouth, "baby 'm gonna cum."

you hum, kissing him back languidly, your throat being squeezed preventing you from answering him.

he fells you convulse around him, and he reaches his peak as well, his hips stuttering against yours, moving at a slower pace now.

the room is filled with jjs loud grunts, and your soft, strained whimpers as you both come undone.

after a few moments, he releases your neck and pants softly against the crook of your neck. he moves his head up to press a soft, passionate kiss to your lips.

"cmon baby, lets get in the shower." he says, scooping you up into his arms.

[greenwitchfromthewoods]

a few words. l Joel Miller

Summary: words he didn't want you to hear

Warnings:  angst, unpleasant conversation, they move away from each other

A/N: nothing special. your feedback is very important to me and I thank you for all the reblogs, comments and likes. 🖤 sorry for all the mistakes

short stories from life. [masterlist]

Tommy looked at his brother as if he was seeing him for the first time in his life. He hadn't expected this and was slowly regretting that he had shown up at the stables with a few bottles of beer that evening.

"You can't be fucking serious." he finally said.

The man who was sitting on a haystack by the wall seemed exhausted. His brown eyes were fixed on the horse in the opposite stall, the bottle in his big hands still full of beer.

"You slept with her?" Joel looked at him surprised. "What? Simple question. Did you sleep with her or not?"

Joel shook his head. "No."

"But you wish you did."

He looked down, but he couldn't lie to someone who knew him so well. Of course he thought about it. Most often when he was alone in the dark bedroom. Memories of every kiss, tender touch, moments when he held you in his arms - all of these haunted him like ghosts.

He was furious because he wanted more. He wanted to be alive again, to feel again. But should he?

"Joel, you've known each other for years, you live together. Why are you messing with her head if you don't want anything to do with her?"

"It's not like that, Tommy..." his voice was tired, barely audible. "Everything's different with her."

"So why don't you want to give it a chance?" Tommy took a sip of beer. "I don't get it. If you want to be with her, then be. Tell her how you feel and..."

"I'm too old for this!" Joel snapped. "She deserves better, and I can't give it to her."

"Bullshit!" Tommy muttered.

There was silence for a moment. The distant noises of the city settling in for the night drifted through the open stable door. Tommy sat down next to his brother, resting his arms on his knees.

"She's a really nice girl," he said. "I see how she looks at you, cares about you and Ellie. Do you really want to break her heart like that?"

"She's tough."

"Yes, she is."

"Are you going out?"

You were just putting a thermos with a hot drink and a couple of sandwiches into your backpack, you didn't even look up when Joel went down to the kitchen in the morning.

"Yeah. I'm going on patrol." you answered.

Joel frowned. "Our turn is tomorrow."

"I swapped with Paul. He'll go with you. You two get along."

An unpleasant shiver ran down his spine, his heart sped up. The backpack was almost ready, and you didn't seem in the mood for long conversations.

"I'd rather go with you." he grumbled, coming closer and clenching his hands on the back of the chair.

"A change will do you good. It'll do us good too."

"Have you talked to Tommy about this?"

You slung your backpack over your shoulder and looked him in the eye for the first time. He saw something strange in that look. A mixture of sadness, anger, and some kind of severity. You hadn't looked at him like that before.

"You'll probably talk to him yourself, right?" you said "I think..." your voice broke for a moment, but you quickly got back on track. "I think when I get back I'll ask Maria to find me another place to live."

"W-What? Why?"

"We both know why."

You adjusted your backpack and left the house. The world you had built had just collapsed.

"What the fuck was I supposed to do?"

"You could have not let her go!"

"She's an adult, Joel! She came last night, said she had already talked to Paul. I couldn't say no to her." Tommy put the crate in the storage room and looked at Joel.

He could see that his brother was furious and distraught. You usually went on patrols together, Joel didn't like you going out alone. Although he knew you would manage, he didn't fully trust others. Now he had completely lost control over anything.

Tommy looked at him with pity. "I think she must have heard us yesterday. Maria saw her in town, she was upset. Then she showed up at our place. I didn't ask, it's none of my business."

"You could have stopped her." Joel repeated quietly.

"And you could have kept her with you. But you chose not to."

He could.

☆☆☆☆

Thank you for your time.

taglist, i think: @picketniffler @orcasoul @bbyanarchist

[blindmagdalena]

This is mildly off topic but I watched the ContraPoints Twilight video and yes it is 3 hours long but oh my god I couldn’t stop thinking about your fics. The video isn’t entirely about twilight, but rather uses it as a frame for talking about female fantasies in erotica.

It was just especially funny because I feel like we psychoanalyze homie all the time, and now I’m being psychoanalyzed for sexualizing homie.

yesss i LOVE that video!! for those interested, please check it out. if you take nothing else from it, My Secret Garden by Nancy Friday is like. essential reading when it comes to understanding these types of fantasies. why things like bodice rippers became so popular, and why we still see so much non/dubcon in literary and fandom spaces.

this video was especially great as someone who both writes and consumes a lot of "ravishment fantasy."

"The nonconsent fantasy is not wish fulfillment in a literal sense, but in an emotional sense."

i think it's particularly interesting in the case of the Homelander fandom where we have a lot of people who are actively shamed or embarrassed for finding him attractive. it adds an extra layer to the idea of disavowing wanting him by turning it into a ravishment fantasy where you have no choice. he is a fantasy that can force you (or whatever character stands in as a proxy) to enjoy him, thereby alleviating any of those messy feelings you might have about him.

thank you for bringing this up! it's really such an interesting topic, and it's such a shame how often noncon (and similar taboo) fantasies get turned into something they simply aren't. fantasies aren't literal! they're devices for safe and emotional release. 🖤

[spookwriter-xo]

Coppélia

Chapter 2 - The Right Hand

Chapter Summary - Y/N and Seonghwa meet up for brunch, where she begins to question Seonghwas character and work.

Series Masterlist

The café Seonghwa requested for us to meet was on the richer side of town. He'd instructed I sit in a booth in the far right corner, out of sight, explaining that was his usually spot. I sat patiently, clutching my purse tightly as it lay in my lap, watching the door intently silently praying he'd pay after I briefly scanned over the beverage prices.

I perked up when I saw the familiar styled back hair and handsome face. He smiled when he saw me, striding across the café like he owned the place before sliding into the seat across from me.

"You really came." He chuckles, fixing his jacket.

"Of course I did. You thought I wouldn't?" I ask, tilting my head. He looked so shy all of a sudden, completely different from the blushing confidence from the night before.

"I never really have much luck." He explains with a soft laugh, his hand sliding the beverage menu closer. "What are you having?" He asks.

"Uhm... The cheapest drink?" I say awkwardly, offering him a strained smile.

"I'll pay, it's no trouble." Oh I knew it was no trouble. I looked up his name after I returned to my apartment last night and was amazed just by how much money he had inherited, let alone earns a year now. Old money rich families really are something.

My silence caught on, making him clear his throat to catch my attention once again. "Doll?" He asks, his eyebrow quirked upwards.

"Sorry... I'll just have a hot chocolate, if that's okay?" I ask, shifting slightly in my seat to hide the shiver that ran up my spine at the nickname.

"Not a coffee drinker?" He asks with an amused smile.

"I prefer sweet things." I say, nodding as a self confirmation. Why were first dates so awkward?

"Don't worry, I know someone who is the same." He chuckles, standing and walking towards the counter to order. He wore a suit, a different one from last night hopefully, that was perfectly tailored to his body. I stared for a moment, admiring his figured before he turned around to look at me briefly. I snapped my head forward, almost giving myself whiplash as a blush rose from my cheeks.

Soon he returns with the drinks, placing my hot chocolate in front of me before taking his seat once again. He sips his drink, eyes on me as he does before he speaks, placing the mug down on a coaster.

"How long have you done ballet?" He asks, his honey voice returning.

"Since I was little. I joined the society when I was 17, have been apart of it ever since." I say.

"It's impressive that you've kept up with the art for so long." He says, leaning back in his seat, eyes still on me. "My parents used to take me to watch ballet when I was young and I've loved it ever since." He says.

"Enough to come to every show?" I asks, with a head tilt. He chuckles loudly at that, reaching for his mug again to take another sip.

"I may love the art, however it was the lead ballerina who caught my eye this time." He answers, sending me a wink as he placed the mug back down. I bite back a snort, biting my bottom lip at his wink.

"So, what do you do for work?" I ask. I already knew what he did, but figured it would be weird if I didn't ask, right?

"I work for ATZ Corp, the right hand I suppose you should call it." He says. "I help Hongjoong out with a lot of business, and running the company."

"Is it difficult to run such a successful company?" I ask, genuinely curious.

"For a while it was, however over the years we've learnt to trust each other with certain... aspects." He coughs as he finishes his sentence, I furrow my eyebrows.

"Aspects?" I laugh.

"Yes, aspects." He says with a smile, I could see in his eyes that he was holding something back. "It's such a large company, and successful at that. When Hongjoong took over just before his 21st birthday, he was lost. Not to mention still grieving over the loss of his parents." Seonghwa lets out a soft sigh. "I'm glad he asked for help."

Even though we had only technically met last night, I admired how quickly he was to open up. He may seem intimidating to others, he seemed genuine, like he really did care about things both big and small. I smile softly at him as he talks, hanging off of every word like he was telling me his life story.

"Do your family come to watch you perform?" He asks.

"I'm not on speaking terms with them." I say, my stomach dropping at the mention of them. His eyebrows furrow and a slight pout forms on his lips.

"I'm sorry... Can I ask why?" He asks, he leans forward, his forearms on the table now.

"They were never really supportive of my career choices." I explain. "I was supposed to be the heir, however they dropped that idea and me the second I accepted the Society's invitation."

Seonghwa looked angry, in a calm way. I felt my throat go dry as he watches me for a moment. "Really?" He asks, his voice rough. I lean back slightly, swallowing as I nod.

"How stupid of them." He says simply, leaning back to mirror my movements. I eye him carefully as he seems to think for a moment. How did the mood shift so suddenly? One second I felt like I was flying and now I feel like he may go into a frenzy.

"Seonghwa?" I call out softly, he squeezes his eyes shut for a moment, snapping out of his daze.

"I'm so sorry." He says, rubbing his temple for a moment. I notice the bandage poking out from beneath his sleeve, but don't point it out.

"You're fine." I say, offering him a smile. "I'm guessing you're tired?" I ask.

"Yea, a very late night last night." He chuckles. "I had to follow up on some business partners, and of course they're in different time zones so I had to wait up for them." He runs a hand through his hair before placing them both back into his lap.

"Doll." He calls out, his voice suddenly firm. I look up at him, eyes widening slightly as he stares back at me with hooded eyes. "I want to warn you. If you wish to continue seeing me there are... Expectations." He says.

"Expectations?" I question.

"Very specific ones." He says. "What I do can be dangerous, though I can't give you the details, I believe you wouldn't be one to run and snitch." He leans forward, his voice getting lower as he speaks to me.

"So you're trusting me that easily?" I ask softly, leaning forward, matching his movements like he had done with me. He notices this and smirks.

"Not trust, Doll. An invitation." He states. "I'll give you time to think about it." He says, moving back and pulling a folded up envelop from the inside of his jacket.

"Feel free to call if you have questions." Seonghwa states, standing up from his seat. He reaches for my hand, raising it to his lips and pressing a gentle kiss to my knuckles.

"I'll be seeing you very soon."

[kumkaniudaku]

Requesting sadness 15: “I can’t do this anymore.” w/ Terry Richmond but it could be an unrequited love story that maybe was reciprocated idk

@pocketsizedpanther put NFL!Terry in my mind and this is what came up.

Silence. Unusual, unbearable silence. The kind of silence that hung in the air thick like humidity in Georgia, choking the life out of every living being in its vicinity. 

Silver forks scratched porcelain plates while two lovers sat across from each other trying to salvage a romantic dinner gone awry before it could ever start. Terry sensed the discomfort when he flew into town with no welcoming hug at the end of the tarmac. She left no text, no call, not even an insight into her whereabouts via Instagram stories. Only an empty space where her pretty red BMV usually sat awaiting his return. 

She hadn’t been in the stands lately either. From the cloudless skies of Los Angeles to the bitter chill of Philadelphia, she was a mainstay on the sidelines, wearing his last name on her back like a badge of honor. But tickets had gone unclaimed here and there. Not enough to raise alarms, but enough for him to bring it up as they dug into the night’s dinner. 

“If you wasn’t trynna be in the cold, that’s cool too. It’s just…you know. I wanted you to be there to see us win the conference. It’s kind of a big deal. First time in like six seasons or something like that. I don’t know. I just got here.”

“I’m sorry.” 

“You don’t have to be sorry. I’d rather make sure you’re good than get tight over a game. Football isn’t more important than you. You straight?” He shoveled a forkful of branzino into his mouth, looking across the table for a response that she never provided. “Tia, what’s up? You feeling alright?” 

“I’m fine.” 

“Did I forget something?” 

“No.” 

“Somebody DM you something crazy? Fans bothering you again? Let me know something.” 

Her distant stare slowly drifted to his face with tears welling in her waterline. “I-Terrence, I can’t do this anymore?” 

“Do what? What you mean?” He knew. He’d seen the text messages and how she rushed out of the room to answer phone calls. The rumor mills and blind item reports never missed a beat. Atlanta wasn’t a city for secrets. But, he prayed that they’d been mistaken. Taking a sip of his water, he took a deep breath and repeated himself. “What can’t you do anymore? Sneak around like I can’t see you? Lie? Cheat? What is it, Tia?” 

Each question came out louder than the one before, making Tia wince in her seat. 

She knew he’d never put his hands on her. Terry was too sweet for that. So sweet that it made life boring. Being a kept trophy wife wasn’t her speed, but she allowed him to woo her in the VIP section of a club in Las Vegas and drag her back to a slow life full of WAG meetings and nosey neighbors. The thrill of being All Star tight end Terrence Richmond’s girlfriend lost its luster the moment engagement rings and wedding dresses became the topic of every conversation. 

One-night stands turned into sneaking around during long road trips until feelings and another life threw a wrench in what was supposed to be a quick fling with someone far too stupid to be a long-term beau. She’d fucked up. 

“It’s not you,” she choked out, trying to offer him some solace. “He was around when you weren’t and I-”

“Bro, don’t explain that shit to me! You don’t think I’m lonely sometimes? That I don’t meet women ready to fill a void if I snap my fingers? C’mon, Tia. This me you talkin’ to right now! Stop playing in my face!” 

He was fuming and fighting to keep his emotions at bay as he paced across the lavish dining room. 

Tia drew in a deep breath to calm the tears forcing a painful lump into her throat. “I’m sorry, Terry. I know I messed up. I embarrassed you and I’m so fucking sorry for that.” 

“Did you fuck him?” Dread attacked their bellies simultaneously. Seconds passed so slowly that he looked over at the wall clock to make sure time wasn’t standing still. Her silence became confirmation. 

She swallowed hard and nodded. “I’m pregnant. Yesterday makes eight weeks. Terry...”

“The Houston game, wasn’t it. When you said you got sick halfway through and had to leave early. You lied in front of my mama and got pregnant while she was worried about you. You fuckin’ sick in the head, Tia, what the fuck!”

Any explanation Tia intended to offer became lost in a swirl of profanity and angry shouting. Betrayed was the prevailing sentiment. All of his hopes for a family smiling back at him before pre-game intros were dashed, leaving him grieving in real-time. He blamed himself for believing that she was ready for something serious and ignoring the warnings. Now, all he had to show for his blind optimism was a broken heart. 

Tia watched Terry dissolve into a near rage with tears ruining her foundation as they poured without ceasing. All of the trust, all of the love they’d built in two years together was washed away by her selfishness. 

“You gotta go,” he finally managed to grit through clenched teeth. “Get the fuck out. Nah, fuck it. I’ll go. You stay until I can get some shit figured out, but you can’t stay here past the weekend.”

“Terrence! I don’t have anywhere to go!” 

“That’s not my fuckin’ problem! Call your sister or that nigga or some shit, I don’t care. All I’ve ever done is take care of you. If you think you can keep makin’ a fool outta me, you got the wrong motherfucka. This shit is over. Forreal this time!”

“But, I can’t -” 

“What the fuck are you fighting for, Tia? You made your decision. Deal with that shit!”

Sobbing and pleas to rethink his decision hit the condo’s walls like bricks, likely fueling a noise complaint that would be slapped on the door come morning. Tia listened to Terry rifle through drawers and closets on the hunt for enough to get him through a few nights at the Four Seasons. 

He just needed to blow off some steam. They’d been in this place before, angry and screaming at the top of their lungs behind her indiscretions, only to come back together and push the pain of the past to the far recesses of their mind. But, as he stomped his way out of the front door and into the night without so much as a second look, the future became more clear. 

He was gone. For good this time.

[apple-kiwi]

Skz Calling you clingy

Chan, Lee Know, Changbin, Hyunjin, Han, Felix, Seungmin, I.N.

Part 1

Authors note: This was supposed to be out on Tuesday but then I got into K-drama and kinda forgot about. I honestly hate how this turned out but whatever. I tagged everyone who asked for part 2, if you want to be untagged lmk, also if you want to be added to my tag list for this series lmk

Warning: None I think

Taglist: @heaveniseverywhere @straykidslvr @staybychoice @luckymilkshakerebel

Not proof read

Word count: 939

Days passed since your argument and you hadn't gone back to the apartment. You'd been crashing at a friend's place, needing time and space to cool down. Lee Know, on the other hand, started to realize the gravity of his mistake and how much he had messed up.

He hadn’t expected you to just up and leave, leaving him alone in the apartment. He also hadn't considered the fact that you might not come back anytime soon. His initial indifference was gradually replaced by a feeling of regret. He had stood you up, ignored your texts, and then called you clingy. The more he thought about it, the more it dawned on him how much he had screwed up.

Each day that passed, the more he longed to see you, to apologize and make it up to you somehow. And so, after a few days of stewing in his thoughts, he decided to make the first move. He sent you a text.

The text read: 'Can we talk? I messed up and I'm sorry. Please come back.'

You stared at the screen of your phone contemplating whether to respond or not. Your anger was still fresh, but the pang in your heart wouldn’t go away. After debating for a while you decided to type a simple reply.

'Alright, we can talk.'

Your short response surprised Lee Know. He hadn't expected you to agree to meet so easily but his heart slightly leaped with hope. Immediately he texted back.

'Can you come back home? I want to apologize in person.'

‘Ok.’

Lee Know’s anxiety spiked at your simple 'Ok’. Did that mean you'd come back? He waited anxiously for your arrival, pacing around the apartment. He hadn't seen you in days and it was eating him up inside.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the sound of the apartment door opening grabbed his attention and he turned to see you walk in. Your expression was neutral and your eyes were slightly puffy. You avoided eye contact with him, closing the door behind you. A tense silence hung in the air as neither of you knew how to start the conversation. But after a few moments, Lee Know spoke up, his voice laced with remorse, "I'm sorry," he took a few steps forward, still maintaining a small distance between you two. With an apologetic look, he continued, "I shouldn't have stood you up and called you clingy a brat. God, I don’t even know why I said that. I should've been there for our anniversary and I'm sorry I ruined it. I hadn’t realized I hurt you so much."

You remained silent for a while, finally meeting his gaze. He looked genuinely apologetic, his eyes showing genuine remorse. He wanted to come closer and hug you, but he was hesitant, not sure how you would react. He knew he had caused the damage and now he didn't know how to fix it. You let out a shaky exhale, “You really hurt me min…”

Lee Know looked at you, his face a mix of guilt and sadness. As you spoke, his heart felt heavy.

"I know I hurt you, I made a mistake and I'm so sorry.”

"I promise I'll make it up to you," he said softly. That day was a big day for us, and because of my selfishness, I ruined it. I was thoughtless, and I'm sorry.”

He looked at you, his eyes expressing his remorse. He took another step towards you. "I'm sorry. Do you," he hesitated for a moment, "Do you want to break up?"

Lee Know asked nervously, dreading the answer he might get, but he needed to ask, he knew what he did and said was wrong and unforgivable.

“What? No,” you say almost instantly, looking up at him, surprised he would even think that you know the argument was pretty bad and there were words that shouldn’t have been said but it was nothing that couldn't be talked out, and it was not bad enough to throw away a 2-year relationship, though if he hadn’t apologized it would have definitely been over.

He hesitantly closed the distance between you, carefully bringing his arms around you in a gentle embrace. He knew this wasn't enough to win you over but he wanted to feel your presence closer.

"I'm sorry," he repeated as he hugged you, feeling the weight of his mistake.

And he truly meant it. He wanted to fix this, to make things right. He knew it wouldn't be easy but he was ready to try. The thought of losing you had scared him and he realized that he needed to put more effort into being a better boyfriend.

“I know…” you whisper

Lee Know held onto you, not wanting to let go. He knew sorry wasn't enough, he knew he needed to prove it through his actions.

"I love you," he said softly. "Please don't leave me."

“I'm not… I won't…” You say softly, sniffling and trying to wipe your eyes

Your words provided him with some relief, a weight lifted off his shoulders.

"Thank you,” he said softly, letting go to examine your expression. He reached up gently, wiping away the last traces of tears from your cheeks. "I promise I won't mess up like that again.”

"I'll do better," he added. "I'll prioritize you more and make sure we communicate better."

He kept his arms around you, still afraid to let go. He wanted to savor this moment of having you close after days of missing it so badly. You two stay like that for a while before you playfully pinch his side, “You owe me dinner.”

[chimivx]

home;run -> fem!reader x mlb!mingyu, mlb!vernon, mlb!dk

College didn't work out, so you're stuck with the next best thing. Living with your superstar brother, traveling with his championship winning team, haunted by your past and heavily influenced by your present.

wc; {part six} 7k warnings; 18+, sexual content, alcohol consumption/abuse, bad influences around her, manipulation, her name gets taken advantage of in public media, if i missed anything please let me know!! notes; peese n lurv. <3

“It’s a little hypocritical, V.”

The door to the hotel weighed a thousand pounds. Slippery hands and intoxicated muscles could barely budge it an inch. Laughing to himself, Vernon took the handle from you over your shoulder and moved you backwards to pull it open, the two of you stepping into the vestibule.

“I don’t think it is, Isla,” he said, keeping his voice between the two of you, unlike you, still wobbling and unable to consciously realize how loud you were actually talking. Holding his arms out behind you as you took a slight stumble backward, he gave you a gentle push toward the second door, this one just as heavy. “Let me-”

“No,” you spat, then giggled. Wrapping your hands around the cool metal of the glass door you tugged backward once, twice, then three times before you were able to finally work it open. “Aha!” you cheered, throwing a look back at him.

What you didn’t see, what your tipsiness failed to pick up on was the way he shoved his foot in the bottom of the door to help you pull it open.

“Good job,” he mumbled with a tiny smile. “I’m not a hypocrite.” 

Wandering into the lobby lit with dim lightning now that the clocks had ticked past midnight, you bickered like you would back at Nasara, a lighthearted thing, something that essentially meant nothing. 

Spinning in a half circle to point at him, eyebrows raised, you whispered, “Hypocrite.”

“I didn’t have time to answer you,” he groaned in a way that told you he was simply playing along. Rolling his head backward, taking his eyes with it in the process, he tilted his chin to the side when he looked at you, a smile playing on his lips. “They do things differently here, I’m not able to be on my phone right before a game.”

Crossing your arms over your chest you popped out a hip. “You could’ve said something after.”

Drawing his eyes all over you, he shoved his hands in his pockets and sighed. “You’re right,” he shrugged, “I’m sorry, Isla.”

The chocolate of his eyes beckoned you closer, but you stayed put. Letting the rubber of your sneakers melt into the floor, you swore to yourself you wouldn’t budge, no matter how his gaze was making you feel. Heat rose to your cheeks before it rushed through every inch of your body. Clutching your arms tight, he took note, then averted his eyes to the floor trying to resist the smile that longed to break out onto his face.

“Did it help?” Your whisper had his eyes latching back onto yours. “The message?”

Lips tipping up, he hesitated a moment, then bobbed his head. “Yeah,” he said with a breath. “It did. Thank you.”

Swallowing hard, you nodded with him and took a breath to steady your beating heart. “Course,” you said. Your gaze lingered too long on his neck, on the shirt that draped over his shoulders, one button undone where the silver chain peeked through the fabric. Skin so smooth, insatiable, you could taste it, like you did in September. You had littered his skin with the delicate purple bites, yours soft, barely tainting his complexion, unlike what Mingyu had done to you, so harsh, as if to claim you.

Face buried in your hair, nose pressed to your temple, parted lips brushing your ear, his soft sounds mixing with yours injected straight into your heart. Arms wrapped around you, one under your head, the other holding your waist, his fingers pressing into your skin, tangling with your hair. Knees pulled back, legs wrapped around him, you held him close to you, kept him against you, moving with him, that cool silver chain like ice against your skin that burned with a fire you haven’t felt since.

How you longed to have his curls wrapped around your fingers like they were that night. How you yearned to have him whisper the things he did to you, both filthy and sweet, talking you through every second when words were unbeknownst to you.

You wanted to go back, wanted to be there, just you and Vernon in the locker room, at Nasara. You should’ve stayed, you shouldn’t have let those girls do what they did, shouldn’t have come home, shouldn’t have cursed out your therapist and stormed out of her office, shouldn’t have agreed to go out with Mingyu that night in December.

“You’re doing it again,” he whispered, pulling you from your thoughts. Flickering your eyes up to his, not realizing how low they had drifted, he smiled, lips pressed together tight. “Don’t look at me like that,” he said quietly in a silly voice to make you giggle. It worked. “Come on, upstairs, you’re going to your room.” 

Starting toward the elevators around a corner, your words whirled him right around. “Damn, punished for looking at you? Putting me in time-out?”

“Stop,” he snickered, waving you in front of him. You reached a hand out, but he pulled his into his chest. “Nope,” he popped the P, “You lead, I follow. No touching allowed.”

“Damn,” you said, slapping the arrow pointing up on the wall when you reached the hall of silver doors. “I am being punished.” Shooting him a side eye, you both broke into fits of laughter. Stepping into the space four tiny walls big, he placed you against one side and took up the other, pressing the number for your floor. Your eyes narrowed, studying him where he stood only feet apart from you. “How do you know where I am?”

His smile never faltered. “Because I am on the same floor.”

Your jaw dropped. “This whole time?” He slowly nodded his head. “What the fuck, no one told me?” A laugh escaped him in a breath as he looked up at the red numbers flashing on the wall. “Right,” you whispered, catching on. “Guess I didn’t need to know. That would’ve been weird.”

He turned his gaze toward you. “Why would it be weird?”

You blinked at him, unsure how to go about this answer. “I mean, we weren’t talking, and no one knew about us, we could’ve kept on going like we didn’t even know each other and no one would think twice about any of it.” His eyes softened. “Plus, you’ve said it, I have a… boyfriend, so why would I need to know where you’re staying? As much as I want to-”

He held up a hand, “Isla,” cutting you off before you spewed out things you shouldn’t be saying at the moment. The only person who knew to cut you off before you said something you didn’t want to say out loud. The elevator dinged, the doors pulling open. “It’s okay,” he said, following you out onto the carpeted hallway, sticking to your side as you walked the stretch a mile long. “Don’t do that with me.”

“Do what?”

“Your nervous rambling thing,” he whispered, looking down at you.

Right.

He knew your thoughts before you thought them.

“We’ll get through this,” he said. “This whole… start of whatever. It’ll work itself out.”

You paused your walk, ceasing his in the process. With a quiet sigh he turned to watch you. “So, you’re still upset?” The raise of his eyebrows was all you needed. “Okay,” you breathed, shaking your head, walking past him. He had to jog twice to catch up to your side.

“Iya,” he half laughed.

“No,” you said, shrugging. “Just needed confirmation. I fucked up, I know that. You’re upset, I know that. How do I fix it, I don’t know that.”

“It’s not that- I just-” Stuttering an ungodly amount of times, he groaned. “This is a good start.”

“What? Me drunkenly crying to you in your car for a half hour?”

He put a hand on your shoulder and your heart leapt into your throat. You looked up at his small smile. “Talking to you.”

You wanted to reach up and take his hand. Wanted to hold it, pull him closer, maybe even wrap an arm around him and hug him, but you knew he wouldn’t let you. It’s like Ryujin said, he’s too good of a guy. Turning the corner down an adjacent hallway, two voices arguing back and forth grew louder, echoing off the walls of the hotel hall. The two of you froze in place, both of your faces expressing your shock.

“I wasn’t lying to you,” your brother said to Mingyu who stood two inches from his face. Your stomach did cartwheels when your boyfriend who towered over DK whipped his head to the left and took in the scene before him. Vernon never moved faster, both hands flew into his pockets.

Taking a step back from your brother, Mingyu dropped his chin and sent the most chilling glare to the boy beside you. “What the fuck?” His deep voice bounced off the walls. Sucking in a deep breath, it left your lungs all too fast. You gave Vernon the quickest glance, then hurried down the carpet with him trailing many, many feet behind. “Are you drunk?” Mingyu asked as you approached his side, his death glare hitting Vernon once more. “What’d he do?”

“He didn’t do anything,” you said. “He brought me here. That’s it.”

He blew air through his lips, a snarky smile appearing right after. “Sure,” he said. “Like I believe that. The pictures online were cute.”

“What pictures?” you whispered, squinting up at him.

DK placed a hand on your arm, his eyebrows all flipped over. “Are you okay?”

You wanted to shake him off, but not with this Mingyu in front of you. “I’m fine, why?”

“You didn’t come back,” he said, tilting his head. “I said come back.”

“What’s the truth, Isla?” Mingyu put a hand to your shoulder, both of them holding onto opposite sides of you. Looking up at him, six feet, two inches tall, you gulped. His eyes were pointed, angry. “People are saying you were flirting with anything that walked, then he came and put you in his car. Took you a while to get back here, didn’t it? I know what you’re like when you’re drinking, what happened?”

Lips parting, face screwing up, you shook your head and scoffed. “And what am I like when I’m drinking?”

He grit his teeth and leaned over you, “A bitch in heat.”

“Okay,” DK raised his voice, pulling you away from Mingyu, stepping between the two of you. Without touching his teammate he held a hand toward his chest. “You’re drunk,” he said, then gestured to you, “You’re drunk,” he glanced at Vernon who had his own anger growing beneath the surface, “You can go, thank you, for everything, for calling me, thank you.”

He didn’t move. Mingyu started running his mouth again, nothing but bullshit about you and Vernon spilling out of it, him using your feelings against you, things you told him in complete sober confidence.

“You know, maybe you should’ve never told me you loved him, ‘cause how the fuck am I supposed to believe anything you say to me now?” His ears were burning red. His hands flew around a mile a minute. Pressing your hands to your middle, all you could do was stare at him. You didn’t tell Vernon you told him that. “You skip out on a night to celebrate with me, to be with him? Did you think I wouldn’t see it? It’s everywhere, Daya was the one to show me. I left the bar so fast, I came right here, I ran into you,” he tapped DK’s chest with a finger and you swore you could hear the way your brother gasped, “And you tell me that she was in trouble? That he helped her?”

“He did,” DK said steadily, not allowing his emotions to get the best of him while he stood between you and your raging boyfriend.

Mingyu tipped his head back and laughed. “Did he?” He shot his glare toward you. “Or did you fuck him in the car like I know you would want to?”

“Mingyu,” DK warned. Tears brimmed your eyes.

“Some guys at the bar were bothering me,” you whispered, fighting back a sob. DK reached a hand backward and grabbed onto one of yours. You stepped closer to him, fitting behind his frame. “He got me out of it, he helped me like DK said he did.”

“Bothering you?” he asked, and you nodded, slipping your bottom lip between your teeth. “Guys were?” You nodded again and he smirked. “That’s what you get for going without me.”

“She can do whatever the fuck she wants, you’re not her keeper, Mingyu,” Vernon spoke up, his voice matching your boyfriends in strength. “It wasn’t her fault. Those guys were creeps. I was just keeping her safe. I didn’t do anything else but get her out of a situation that could’ve been really bad.”

“What, you want me to thank you?” Mingyu curled his lip. “You’re not getting shit from me, I don’t care what you did. We’ve been perfect all this time, and now you two wanna screw it up.” A huff left your brother, but he couldn’t find the words to say. You could only imagine the look on Vernons face. “Isla, let’s go,” he said to you, trying to move around DK, but you moved with your brother as he took a step backward. “Let’s get out of here.”

“Mingyu,” DK said with utmost patience.

“Nah,” he sneered, trying to move around him again. “Let’s go, Isla.”

DK actually put his hand to his chest this time, and you swore Mingyu was going to blow his top. “Mingyu,” he said, louder. “She’s going to stay with me tonight. You can see her tomorrow.”

Jaw clenched, Mingyu looked from your brother, to you, to Vernon, then back to you. “Is that really what you want?” he asked. “To stay here, with your brother, when you could come with me?”

DK squeezed your hand, hoping you would answer the way he suggested, the way he advised. Blinking through tears, everything blurry now, you nodded ever so slightly and Mingyu groaned, obnoxiously loud, making you jump.

“Fuck both of you,” he spat at DK and Vernon, pushing past you, knocking into your brothers shoulder on purpose. Turning to watch him walk down the hall, DK kept you behind him, allowing you to watch over his shoulder. He towered over Vernon, leaned over him as he passed him, but your best friend didn’t so much as flinch. “You try anything and I’ll have your ass back down in triple A before the season starts.” 

The three of you were silent until he disappeared around the corner.

“He can’t do that,” DK said to Vernon, the two sharing a slight smile. “Even if he could, I wouldn’t let it happen. A lot of us wouldn’t.” Tears spilled over onto your cheeks, a gasp ripping through your chest. DK put you in his arms and walked you towards the door to his room, motioning toward Vernon to come with him. “Only if you want to,” he said, unlocking the door with the key from his pocket. “I just want clarity.”

Within twenty or so minutes the story had been told. You sat on the edge of DK’s bed while the two boys sat on the couch, a foot of space between them. Vernon let you do most of the talking, he only popped in when some details needed polishing, when he appeared at the scene of you at the bar, and then the journey to the car.

“We just talked for a while,” you said with a raise of your shoulders.

DK loosed a breath and sat back into the couch cushions. “Thank god,” he whispered. You and Vernon shared a look, then shot it toward him. “I thought you two were never gonna speak.” 

“What?” You and Vernon asked at once.

DK laughed. “The staring, it was driving us all crazy.”

“Us?!” You both said at once, again, laughing soon after. 

“Me, Shua, Kwan,” he said, thinking to himself. The three names were enough to have you laughing harder, but then he kept going, making you flop backward onto his bed. “Jihoon, Melody, most of the guys who came with us last night…”

“Okay,” you raised an arm in defeat, “We get it.” Sitting back up you were greeted by a solemn face, eyes full of sorrow. “What?”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

Your brows furrowed. “For what?”

“For not going with you,” he said. “I shouldn’t have let you go alone.”

Sliding your hands down your thighs to your knees, you squeezed them and shook your head. “I’m a big girl, Deeks, it’s okay.” His eyes narrowed, telling you it was not okay. The group of guys aside, he still sent you up to a bar by yourself. He wouldn’t even let you drink beneath his roof at home in Iloa, and he let you wander up to a bar by yourself in a room full of strangers. “Don’t do that to yourself,” you whispered. “I know better, I could’ve listened to you.”

He glanced to the floor. Giving Vernon a sideways glance before he looked back to you, he pulled his lips together. “Jagiya,” he spoke with all the care in the world, “I say this because I love you, because of what we’ve been through, and because I care about you more than I can say.” Vernon looked away, toying with his fingers. “You may know better, but,” he paused, shaking his head, “I don’t think your mind knows better. Your brain.”

He had something else ready to say, you could feel it behind his teeth, hear it in his hesitance while he waited for you to react. 

Quiet, letting his words get in your head like they never have before, you think about Diana, that sweet girl you met that day in the stadium. You think about what happened to you tonight at the bar. Looking at Vernon, you think about what’s happened between the two of you, how you could’ve had it all if your brain knew what was best for you.

You could’ve finished school, you could’ve had a degree. You’d still have your friends, you’d still have Vernon, you’d be living for yourself. You’d be showing all the young girls who followed you, like Diana, that it was possible to achieve things for yourself, that you didn’t need someone else's name to validate your own, family or not.

If your brain knew what was best for you you wouldn’t need to sip the alcohol, you wouldn’t need to get tipsy to feel happy, to not feel anxious. It wouldn’t have ruined relationships, ruined a future you were once kind of excited for.

He would say all of this, you knew that. He’d bring up every single one of these points, but he didn’t have to. They were already in your head. Him speaking up about it would only make the guilt worse.

“We’re here for you, Isla,” DK said with a nod. He looked at Vernon who returned his glance. “Right?”

Sitting backward, smoothing his hands over his legs, Vernon released a breath and looked your way. “We’ve spent a lot of time talking about this,” his voice was soft, warming your cheeks, “You and me. Mostly on the good days.”

A sigh escaped you, turning into a gasp as tears filled your eyes once more. “Good days? I’m at the point where my days are separated by good and bad?” DK leapt from the couch to sit by your side, grabbing onto your hands. Vernon sat forward, edging the couch. 

“I know you remember talking about it,” he smiled, continuing on like you weren’t crying into you and your brother's hands. “We would fuck around at the library, trying to not get in trouble sneaking around the rooms and floors we weren’t supposed to be in. You would tell me you were feeling good, that you felt proud of yourself, that you always wanted to feel that way.” He watched you with eyes full of love. “You were excited about a tomorrow.” 

“I was,” you whispered, leaning against your brother's shoulder.

Vernon, smiling, shut his eyes for a second. “You were,” he lowered his brows, “That was my girl. I wanted her happy, I wanted her to feel good, but it didn’t matter what I wanted. You needed to want it for yourself, and on the days that you did, I thought… Finally.”

You rolled your eyes. “And then I disappointed you, every time, I know how it goes.”

“You didn’t disappoint me,” he whispered. “Far from it. You fought, and you still do, and I’m proud of you for that.”

DK wrapped an arm around your shoulders. “I’m proud of you, too.”

“Guys,” you whispered. “I suck.”

DK and Vernon shared a look.

“Does she suck?” DK asked.

Vernon raised a brow and glanced about the room. “Hm,” he hummed. “No, I don’t think she does.

“That’s funny,” your brother said. “I don’t think she does either.”

“I think she needs to drink some water, maybe go to sleep,” Vernon said, teetering his hands side to side, weighing the options sarcastically. DK nodded along, humming with approval.

“Maybe talk about this tomorrow?” your brother suggested. “After a coffee and some good breakfast?”

Vernon slapped a hand to his stomach, groaning in delight. “Ugh, breakfast, you’re so right.”

They kept going until you were laughing, your tears coming to a close for the night.

“I love you a lot,” DK said to you, shaking you gently.

Vernon glanced to his hands, rubbing them together. “Yeah, so do I,” he whispered.

SIlence surrounded the three of you, all of you taking the time to let the words spoken sink in, marinate around you, within you. 

They were right, you knew they were.

Even if your brain couldn’t grasp it, the part that still wanted to cling to Mingyu for whatever reason even after what had happened in the hallway, they were right.

Standing up, your brother following, you held open your arms and he fell right in, slinging his around your back. “I love you,” you mumbled into his shoulder. “Thank you, I’m sorry.���

“Don’t apologize,” he whispered, rubbing a hand in circles between your shoulder blades. “I’m sorry for not being there tonight. For only paying attention when I thought you’d been gone for too long.” Grabbing his shirt in fistfulls to insinuate your ‘It’s okay’, you pulled away from him and gave him half a smile.

Turning around to Vernon who had stood up, you pressed your hands into your thighs and took a deep breath. He did the same. But, then he opened his arms, and he dipped his chin down, offering the space to you. 

It was embarrassing really, how fast you flew into his hold, how quick you were to throw your arms around his waist and how hard you squeezed him. Burying his face in your neck, one hand to your hair, the other around you, he took a deep breath you could feel, you could hear, and the tears found their way back to your eyes. Having sobered up a bit since the bar, you could comprehend it this time, how it felt to hold him, touch him, have him touch you, hold you. 

You wanted to live here. 

He knew you. He loved you. He never judged you.

He was able to say it all with the way his lips brushed against your cheek. Not a kiss, but the softest touch, one barely noticeable.

“You’re gonna be okay,” he whispered.

“I love you,” you whispered back, and he smiled.

“I know.”

Within the next ten minutes Vernon and DK were shaking hands at his door and you were changing in your room, waddling back to your brother's room, tucking yourself into one side of his bed. He joined you in minutes, tossing you a bottle of water before turning off the lights and taking his side of the bed. Shuffling beneath the sheets, the both of you getting comfortable, feeling like you were children all over again, you were finally able to rest.

It was quiet for a while, minutes ticking by in silence until you whispered, “I have to break up with Mingyu,” and your brother giggled a little too loud.

Your phone was dead when you woke up.

Surprisingly, you were not.

Able to wiggle your fingers and toes, move your arms and bend your knees, you could sit up without wanting to vomit all over yourself. And, you were wearing clothes!

That didn’t mean you felt fantastic.

The atrocious post-sex fatigue wasn’t there, but the need for a mimosa was.

Through the kitchen and down a little hallway lived the bathroom. The shower was running and the quietest voice, singing something you couldn’t make out could be heard.

DK.

You were in his room, swallowed by his pillows. Thank god. He and Vernon got you here, they helped you, and the conversation they had with you rang in your ears, echoed within your head. It was time to do better. It was time to be better. Before something awful happened.

You’d consider what happened between you and Vernon to be awful enough, you weren’t quite sure it could get worse until it did. You were tired of them having to clean up your messes. It’d been growing incredulously exhausting letting people down, giving them hope only to rip it away within hours. 

Everything you wanted was in front of you, waiting for you, hoping for you.

This time, you weren’t going to screw it up.

The shower shut off, but the humming continued. DK strolled out in a t-shirt and shorts moments later, his wet hair pushed backward to dry. Wandering about the room for a bit, situating his luggage, hanging up his bath towels, going in and out of the bathroom to brush his teeth, you watched him the whole time. It wasn’t until he finally looked your way that he jumped out of his skin.

“Jesus, Jagi,” he hissed, hands flying to his chest. “How long have you been awake?”

Laughing, you sat up and reached for your feet to stretch. “Since the first round of Celine Dion in the shower.” 

Releasing a sigh, he pinched the bridge of his nose. “The acoustics are great here, what can I say?”

The sound of his voice echoing in the bathroom played through your head, and you laughed again. Sucking in a deep breath, you belted, “ANNND I-” You were molly whopped by a pillow he threw at your face. “Hey!” Sitting back up like you were, the pillow having totally knocked you backward, thank you best pitcher in baseball, you heaved it his way but it didn’t reach him.

“That was Whitney Houston you uncultured motherfucker,” he joked, both of his brows skyrocketing on his forehead. After another laugh out of you, he cracked one too. “Get it right.”

“So sorry,” you said. “What are you doing today?” you asked, watching him kick around his shoes, looking for a matching pair. 

“Hanging out with you, I thought,” he said, giving a look.

“It’s your day off and you want to spend it with me?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” he asked, sitting down on the end of the bed to tie his sneakers. 

Pushing the covers off of yourself you slipped out of bed and stretched your arms over your head, occasionally remembering some of the exercises you learned in class once upon a time. “I just thought you’d want to do something else,” you breathed, reaching down to touch your toes.

“Hm, I don’t,” he said and you huffed a laugh. “Breakfast, remember? We’re going out, some place fun, during the day.”

Standing up straight, you smiled. “Got it.”

He went back to fidgeting with his shoes. “Anything else you want to do while we’re here? Have you shopped at all?” You rounded the bed, ending up at his side. “I remember those stores you like down by the beach, maybe we go down there?” Looking up at you, his eyes traveled from your smiling face to your outstretched hand. “Yes?”

“Can I use your phone for a second?”

He glanced backward at the bed. “Where’s yours?”

“Dead,” you said, wiggling your fingers. “Hand it over.”

“What are you gonna do?”

“Just have to send a text,” you shrugged, “And, I’m not really sure I wanna charge mine. Could be interesting to keep it off all day, not go on it, to not be stuck in a forever scroll.”

Blinking up at you, he thought about it, then nodded. “Fair,” he muttered, wiggling the phone from his back pocket, slapping it onto your palm.

“You have Mingyu’s number right?” you asked, swiping open to his messages, the first thread in his inbox from Vernon last night. Groaning, he stood and adjusted his shirt.

“Are you kidding me,” he nearly whined, “Charge yours if you’re gonna talk to him. I will not let you two converse through my phone.”

Creating a new thread with him, you typed out a simple message and hit send, placing the phone back into your brother's hand. “There,” you said with a smile. “Let me get ready, I’ll be back in a bit.”

He watched you scramble your way out of his room, the door shutting with the loudest slam. Out of pure curiosity he glanced at his phone screen and the message that had been read the second it was sent.

[dk]: This is Isla. Phones dead. We need to talk at some point today, please. I’m going out with DK today, don’t let it piss you off.

Every eye in the room pointed towards you. Doors to the restaurant closing behind you, the place quaint, bright, airy, every head seemed to turn, and not because you were standing with four members of the Lions starting line up. They didn’t look at your brother, Vernon, Joshua, or Seungkwan. They stared at you.

Parents of families, groups of girls your age, couples tucked into booths, everyone wide eyed like they were fighting to look at anything else, anyone else, but they couldn’t.

“Just five of us,” DK smiled at the hostess who nodded toward him after glancing at you over his shoulder. Wearing his smile as he turned to face you and your friends, without mentioning the elephant in the room, he muttered, “I’m starving.”

“Me too,” Seungkwan yawned, pressing the back of his hand to his lips. His blonde hair dusted his lashes, the cut short in the back yet longer over his forehead. With your arms folded over your chest your eyes scanned the room, then ended on him doing the same thing. Shooting you a side eye for a second, he threw an arm around your shoulders, tucking you into him.

He didn’t have to say anything else.

Following the hostess to a table on the far left side of the restaurant, far away enough from the people staring yet close enough to not feel alienated, the boys situated themselves into seats, Seungkwan pulling one out for you beside Vernon and himself. You were to be sandwiched between them.

Wandering out of your room this morning in a leather mini skirt and a vintage Haos sweater your mother wore in her early twenties, the three boys greeted you with wide smiles and squishy hugs. A complete surprise, you squeezed them all, even Vernon. He saved himself for last, letting the other three lead the way out of the hall so he could hug you tight.

You assumed this breakfast was for you and your brother, but he had said it himself, they were your friends too, and it was evident in the way they cared for you just as DK would. Sitting here at the table they helped you fix a cup of coffee, helping each other too, they spoke quietly and asked you a thousand questions to distract you from the people whispering in the booth behind you.

Vernon fit right in. After two weeks you assumed he would, you said it since the start, this was his element. He and Seungkwan had the most chemistry, the two had inside jokes already they weren’t afraid to crack across your lap as they leaned over the table with grins miles wide to laugh at one another. DK and Joshua, older than the three of you, got stuck deep in their own discussion that Seungkwan had to kick them under the table when the waitress appeared to take your orders.

“Oh!” The woman turned right around after Seungkwan handed over the menus stacked together. “I forgot to tell you, we have drink specials, bottomless mimosas, brunch cocktails, if you check out that little menu right here,” she pointed to a short leather triangle in the center of the table, “It has everything on it.”

DK reached for it and handed it to her with a dazzling smile. “Thank you, but we’re good,” he said with a curve of his brow. “More coffee would be great, though.”

“Please,” Seungkwan groaned, dragging his hands over his cheeks. Joshua cracked a laugh.

“No problem,” the woman smiled, then she was off.

“Puh-lease,” Joshua mocked Seungkwan, propping his elbows on the table, smacking his palms to his cheeks. Gaze dancing between them, a smile on your lips, they bickered and laughed like siblings, your brother included. You were so enthralled by the entertainment in front of you, surrounding you, you barely noticed the finger poking your knee.

Vernon sat back in his chair, his legs extended in front of him. He didn’t look at you when you looked at him, but he pulled his hand back into his lap and the tiniest smile graced his lips. 

“Yes?” You kept your voice quiet, just between the two of you.

He slid his eyes over to you. “I missed you.”

It was impossible to fight the heat that rose to your cheeks. “You just saw me last night.”

He nodded, glancing down to his lap. “Not just since last night,” he whispered. Taking a breath, he looked at you and said, “I’ve been missing you.”

A breath shot through you, forcing you to look around at your brother and your friends who were paying no mind to the two of you, the three of them in their own world, Joshua and Seungkwan arguing over something while DK lost his shit.

“I missed you too,” you whispered, sitting your chin in your hands, propping your elbows on the table. Opening your shoulders to him, he met your eyes and held them, life moving on around the two of you, voices echoing past you like they were nothing. “Thanks for last night,” you said. “I owe you.”

He twisted his brows and gave you a look. “Owe me? Shut up, you don’t owe me anything.”

“How many times are you gonna save my ass without me returning the favor?”

Eyes softening, he breathed through a laugh and shook his head. “Something’ll come up eventually, I-”

“Mingyu?”

The near shout of his name made the entire table freeze. Vernon, mid sentence, leaned forward to catch a glimpse of the booth behind you, DK doing the same. Seungkwan slid a hand over the wood and wrapped his fingers around your arm. Joshua sat tall in his chair, barely moving as he surveyed the situation. 

“He’s not here,” Vernon muttered, and you released a breath you’d sucked in. DK relaxed as well, shaking his head. “They’re just talking.”

“Do not like how that just set us all off,” Joshua mumbled, elbowing your brother in the shoulder. Furrowing your brows, giving them each a look, you end with your brother.

“What do we all know?” you questioned, reaching for the glass of water in front of you. DK poked his tongue between his lips, his eyebrows popping as he sat forward and glanced to his friends for help. “We have plenty of time,” the way you smiled made them all shudder, “Explain yourselves.”

About an hour later, half empty plates scattered over the table, empty coffee mugs lined in front of Seungkwan, each boy had given you their spiel about the boy you still could call your boyfriend. DK had expressed his grief to his friends at the start of your relationship, which in turn had you learning today that none of them really enjoyed the idea of you and Mingyu together, or the idea of Mingyu in general. Him, that side of the team, Hoshi and Minghao, they didn’t judge them for who they were or what they did, but ultimately decided amongst themselves that it was the principle of it all. 

Values aligning, morals clashing, something like that.

Vernon didn’t have much to add, he simply listened, observed, but nodded along, having his own personal grief over Mingyu, only actually having known the boy for two weeks.

“So, we all don’t like him,” you said, tossing your napkin onto your empty plate. It was the first meal you’ve been able to finish in two weeks. DK, shoveling food into his mouth, rolled his eyes.

“Depends on who you’re asking for, and under which circumstances,” Joshua said, nodding at the same time as Seungkwan.

“Agreed,” the blonde pointed to his teammate. Wiping his hands with a napkin he sipped the rest of his umpteenth coffee and shook his head. “As a part of our team? As an outfielder? A baseball player? Good god, he’s unbelievable, we wouldn’t be what we are without him.” Both DK and Joshua exchanged a look of agreement. “But, when it comes down to him and what he does with his,” Seungkwan glanced at you momentarily, “Private relationships, or what should be private… I can’t get behind it.”

“Easy for you to say,” you said, sipping your water. “If you were with someone you’d have people doing the same thing to you. You’re single.”

Seungkwan smiled. “No, I’m not.” Joshua laughed aloud, slapping a hand to his mouth.

Jaw dropping, you flashed him a glare before shoving Seungkwan's shoulder. “What?!”

“Don’t you say a word,” Seungkwan whispered, leaning toward you.

“How do you not get blown up everywhere? This is like Woozi and Melody all over again, he hid her for like two years!” Your hands flew a mile a minute. “Is it just ‘cause it’s me? My parents? My brother?” Throwing a hand toward him, he frowned. “Sorry,” you said, rushed as anything. “I just don’t get it.”

Wearing a solemn face, Seungkwan rested a hand on your shoulder. “Because it’s what he wants.”

“Values, morals,” Joshua waved a hand around, “Blah, blah, blah.”

Exactly as Ryujin had said.

And Vernon.

Setting your glass down, you folded your hands on your lap and nodded. “Good to know. I’ve been blind.” A hand touched your shoulder, Vernon’s. He squeezed you, trying to reassure you, but somehow it didn’t help. If anything, it made it worse. Flashing him a pout, he leaned closer to you and shook his head.

“Don’t do that to yourself,” he whispered.

“And that’s why your boyfriend cheated on you!”

It was those girls from the booth behind you, the ones who had been talking about you and your friends this entire time. They were standing up to leave, no older than you, dressed for the beach. Champagne glasses covered their table.

Whipping yourself around, Vernon retracting himself entirely, you finally opened your mouth. “Can you leave us the fuck alone?”

Her friends were trying to pull her out, they clearly wanted out of the place, when the boys turned around it was written all over their faces. They wanted nothing to do with what was about to happen. “You’re here like you don’t care,” she laughed, loud, acquiring eyes from around the place. “With him,” she sneered in Vernon’s direction, “We know what you did, Moon Isla.”

“I didn’t do shit,” you said with a smile. 

The girl, staggering backward as one of her friends finally got her to move, cackled one last time before she shouted, “Your boyfriend did!”

Heart sinking into your gut, you whirled towards the table and searched your pockets for your phone before remembering it was dead, and in DK’s hotel room. The boys whispered amongst themselves, their own eyes questioning shit while yours bugged out of your head. Looking from Vernon to Seungkwan, unsure of what to do with yourself, you finally decided to hold out your hand toward your brother. He knew in an instant what you wanted, the thing that lived on Do Not Disturb in his pocket.

The second he dropped it into his hand you were swiping for the internet, but not before checking his messages to see if Mingyu had ever answered your message.

[Kim Mingyu]: As soon as possible please.

You didn’t bother to answer it. You didn’t need his excuses, his empty words. Social media told you everything you needed to know, pictures flooded the feed with every refresh, people posting more and more as time passed. Your body went numb, fingers cold, stomach sick. Heart thudding between your lungs, breath quickening with each exhale, you threw the phone down onto the table and pressed your hands to your eyes, begging your conscious self not to sob.

Seungkwan took the phone, open on a photo, and gasped. Within seconds his arms were around you, he was whispering things to you, calming you while the phone got passed around and the boys riled themselves up. Angry, sad, betrayed, overwhelmed, you felt it all, but what you didn’t feel was blindsided. You’d seen this coming. Your strategic brain, what put you onto Yeji’s plan back at Nasara, had it figured out since Day One.

And, come to think of it, as much as this upset you, embarrassed you, Mingyu finally did one thing right. Shoving his tongue down Daya’s throat was about to do you so many favors.

home;run masterlist | talk to me | ao3

you do not have permission to copy or translate my works without my consent.

[starlighthome74]

{And just in time, it seems. From downstairs, a slam is heard as the garage door closes. Kik listens, trying to gauge what sort of mood Edwin might be in. They get their answer when they hear footsteps approaching, and sit at their desk-- careful not to disturb the Lords-- opening the book and looking like they were working.} (Edwin enters, he doesn't knock, and Kik's head pops up to look at him.) "Hey, kid. Do you want to explain to me why the house is a mess?" (His tone has an edge to it, he doesn't want a response.) {Kik fumbles for what response he might be looking for, something about how they were going to but then got caught up in their research, but he continues before they can manage to say much.}

"And how long have you been working on those same goddamned papers? Have you actually been doing anything or have you just been twiddling your thumbs? Don't you remember that you have a job to do? You know better than that! You're more mature, you're more qualified, that's why you're here, that's why I took you in, because you were good enough. I'm not interested in raising a child, I'm interesting in raising capable adults. Act like one."

{For a moment, Kik is silent. Embarrassment has made their face flush, since they know they have an audience. They... don't really have a response. They try to muster one anyway.}

I-- I'm sorry. I can clean up the house.

(Edwin sighs, exasperated.) "Thank you, Katherine. I'll be in my office. I don't want to be disturbed." (And with that, he's walking away, shutting the door behind him. Kik mutters a 'yes sir' as he leaves.)

The Book

{Ever since Nibblenepphim visited the other night, Kik has found it increasingly obvious that something is different with the Black Book. It isn't responding very well to them anymore, mixing up its own pages and obscuring texts as if refusing to be read. The translation was taking longer than ever, and Katherine felt the pressure from their father to get it done.

And what's worse: They had barely heard from the Lords recently. They couldn't really feel their influence.

What an awful week.

Leaning back in their old wooden chair, the teen tries to reach for any of the Lords with their mind. Sighing, their eyes look to the ceiling, then close. In their mind, they recite the names, hoping that they are still connected.}

@thesiblingsoftheblackandwhite

[just-dreaming-marvel]

Abuse ~ Part 2

MAIN MASTERLIST / MARVEL MASTERLIST

Logan Howlett x Female!Reader

< Part 1

Word Count: 4,080ish

Summary: You start to heal from Josh's abuse. Logan is there every step of the way.

Warnings: abuse (mental, physical, emotional), rape, injuries, triggers, PTSD

Notes: Seriously, do not read if this will trigger you. You are in charge of what you consume.

As soon as you could, you retreated to your room at the mansion. Clearly, someone had slipped into your apartment and grabbed some objects and clothing. You had stayed in the room occasionally, but it was weird to think that it was now your home. Nothing was how you liked it, making you feel more out of place than you already did.

Thoughts began to creep into your mind. What if you just went back to the apartment? There was a sense of normalcy there despite the abuse. Besides, you were becoming a burden. You could easily see that. Everyone was eyeing you and walking eggshells around you. You hated it. Maybe if you just—

“Hey,” Logan’s voice was quiet as he leaned against the doorframe. Nevertheless, you still jumped and spun around, heart racing. “Sorry,” he pushed himself off the frame and stuffed his hands into his jeans pockets. “Didn’t mean to scare ya. Just checkin’ in.”

“I’m fine.” You cringed at how quickly and unbelievable that answer was.

Logan nodded, letting out a small grunt in acknowledgment of your answer. He stepped further into the room. You shakily took a step back, starting to feel cornered. Logan quickly took two steps back.

“Can I do anything?” He asked. You knew that he genuinely meant it; Logan would never ask if he didn’t.

“I think you’ve done enough.” 

It sounded meaner than it should have. You were grateful for Logan’s help, but you were hating yourself for being so weak that you had to call for it. Logan knew not to take your words personally. Jean and Charles had a long talk with him about how you might act throughout your healing process, including blaming yourself and others.

“Can you go?” You turned away, trying to hide the tears quickly escaping your eyes. “I… I want to be alone right now…”

“Okay… Let me know if you need somethin’.” 

Logan turned around, glancing back for another quick look at you before shutting the door behind him. He hated the idea of leaving you alone. He didn’t understand everything about what you were going through, but he understood how mean your own mind could be about yourself. He was constantly trying to prove his own destructive thoughts wrong. But Logan wouldn't let you go through that alone, not if he could do anything about it.

~~~

No one was shocked when you didn’t come down for dinner. Logan loaded up a plate of food and grabbed a drink before heading up to your room. Knocking on the door, he waited a moment for you to answer. When you didn’t answer, Logan used his senses to try to see if you were still in there. He could hear you breathing. It was steady, like you were asleep. He knew that you needed your rest, but you also needed to eat. No one knew when the last time you ate was. 

Slowly, Logan opened the door and slipped inside. He set the food and drink on your desk before coming around to the side of the bed you were facing. Logan knelt down as he studied you for a moment. He didn’t know that you could ever look so relaxed and peaceful. Since he met you, you have been in a relationship with Josh. He wondered who you were before that and if you would become that person again. 

“Y/N,” he whispered. “Wake up, sweetheart. You need to eat.”

“Hmm,” you groaned, slowly waking.

“There you go, darlin’. I brought the food to you.”

“Not hungry,” you grumbled, turning your head away from Logan. Your stomach growling gave you away.

Logan chuckled. “I don’t think that’s true.”

“Just go, Logan.”

“Not until you eat. Come on, sit up.”

“Fine.” 

You sat up as Logan grabbed the food. When Logan handed you the plate, you couldn’t help but stare at it and think of Josh. He would have commented on the portion sizes and that you needed to be careful not to gain much weight as it would embarrass him. Logan could see your mind freeze and figured it had to do with Josh.

“Eat,” he urged.

“I… I can’t,” you shook your head.

“You haven’t eaten all day.” You simply shrugged in response, looking down at your lap. “Y/N,” Logan tried to catch your gaze. “He is not in control of you anymore. Eat.”

“But—“

“Eat.”

With a scowl, you began to eat. Simply within the first bite, something inside you began to feel better. Logan watched you, making sure you at least got a few bites in your system.

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled between bites. “I’m sorry that I’m being a burden. I—“

“Stop that,” Logan quickly interrupted. “You’re not a burden.”

“Yes, I am.”

“Said who? John?” You looked away. “That dipshit didn’t know what he was talking about.” 

Logan wanted to tug your head back to look at him but he knew he needed to be careful when it came to touching you. There were things that needed to happen on your terms, despite anyone else.

“Sweetheart,” he sighed, trying to get your attention, but it didn’t work.

“I’m done eating,” you told him quietly, still looking away. “Thanks for the food. You can go now.”

“Y/N—“

“Just go. Please.”

Logan picked up the plate as he stood up. “Get some rest. I’ll be checkin’ in later.”

“You don’t—“

“Not worth fightin’. It’s gonna happen. Let me know if you need anything before then.”

You were left alone, wishing that you could fully give in to Logan’s kindness. But a voice in the back of your head sounded too much like Josh, preventing you from allowing Logan to take care of you.

~~~

Logan wasn’t joking around when he told you he would check in on you. Like clockwork, he was checking on you every hour, even throughout the night. He wasn’t much of a sleeper anyway. 

You practically lived in your room for the next two days. Ororo and Jean visited a couple of times, but mostly, Logan kept checking on you. He would bring you water, snacks, and food. Most of the time, Logan was silent in his doings, letting your mind have its way. But when you refused to eat meals, Logan wasn’t allowing it. It was practically the same fight as the first night, every night. Even up until you would ask him to leave.

It was the early morning hours when you decided you wanted ice cream and finally left the confines of your bedroom. You silently hoped no one would catch you as you snuck into the kitchen. You were grateful when you got there without running into anyone. Opening the freezer, you were surprised to see multiple tubs of your favorite type of ice cream. On the closet tub, there was a sticky note. You grabbed the tub to get a closer look. You could easily recognize the handwriting as Logan’s. It wasn’t the neatest, but you could easily read the small note: One scoop at a time.

You let out a small huff and a smile. There was no way that Logan came up with that on his own. Rogue had to have helped him with it. But it warmed your heart anyway to see his note. Logan wasn’t one to let people see the softer side of him, you were clearly the exception right now. You took the tub, grabbed a spoon, and headed back up to your room. What you didn’t notice is that you were being watched. Logan was standing near another doorway to the kitchen, watching you carefully. He couldn’t help but smirk at your reaction to the note and was glad to see you venture out of the room. If that one note got that reaction from you, Logan was definitely going to leave more around.

In the morning, you decided you needed to get out of the mansion for a while. Throwing a light jacket on, you opened your door and paused when you noticed a water bottle and a protein bar on the floor with a sticky note over the two. You picked up the items to read the simple ‘eat’ that was written on the note. Slipping the note into your room, you kept the other items with you as you walked outside. 

The morning air was sharp but refreshing. It felt good to get out of your room and get some fresh air. Something about it helped ease the weight you felt over your mind and heart, though only slightly. You opened up the protein bar and took a bite out of it as you continued your stroll through the school gardens. Turning a corner, you noticed Logan standing near one of the fountains. His eyes were focused on you like he had been waiting for you. You paused your movements as he came over. You couldn’t help but note how warm his flannel looked over him and how deep his hands were stuffed into his pockets.

“Mornin’,” he greeted, stopping in front of you with enough space for you to make a move to leave.

“Morning,” you mumbled.

“Mind if I join you?”

You shook your head in response, and Logan quickly fell in line beside you before the two of you continued walking. As much as you felt guilty about Logan taking care of you, you were grateful that the silence that fell between the two of you wasn't overbearing. The two of you walked around aimlessly for most of the morning until you decided to hide away again. You thanked Logan quickly before disappearing into your room.

For the next week, you kept the same routine. The beginning of the day held your on-the-go breakfast and a walk through the gardens with Logan. The middle of the day was spent wallowing in your room. The end of the day was spent with Logan forcing you to eat dinner. He had even started to eat dinner with you as well.

One morning, you finally decided to speak more than a few words as the two of you walked through the garden.

“Why do you keep trying to take care of me?” You asked, keeping your eyes on the trail in front of you. “You don’t have to, you know. I can figure things out on my own.”

“I care about you,” he replied easily. It took a lot for Logan to admit that, but in talks with Charles, he realized that he may need to be more open with you to help you. “And helping you is something I want to do, not something I have to do.”

“I’m not worth all this trouble, Logan.”

“If I didn’t think you were worth it, I wouldn’t be here.”

“Logan—“

“No.” Logan moved to stand in front of you, stopping you in your tracks but still keeping a good distance to respect your space. “You’re not a burden. You… You, Y/N, are worth more to me than I could ever explain. I will not let you go through this alone and let that dick’s voice that's still in your head bring you down. Got it?” You looked away and gave a slight nod. “Good.” Logan was aching to touch you, for both your sakes. “Sweetheart, I need to know if it's okay that I come closer and touch you.”

You took a sharp inhale at his request. No one, especially Josh, had ever asked your permission for anything like that. You wanted Logan closer, but you didn’t know what kind of touch he was talking about. You simply nodded, wanting to see what Logan was going to do. Logan could see the hesitation in your eyes as he took a step closer.

“Let me know if you need me to back off,” he said softly, taking another step forward. 

You watched as Logan’s hand slowly reached forward and took your hand. His eyes remained locked on your face to make sure you were still okay with his movements. His thumb ran over your fingers as he carefully held your hand. Your heart picked up its pace, but only because you didn’t remember a time when a man’s touch was so gentle. 

“You good?” He needed to check.

“Mhm,” you hummed with a nod. “Could you… keep holding my hand as we walk?”

His lips lifted up ever so slightly. “Anything you need, darlin’.”

~~~

Slowly, you began to spend more and more time out of your room. But you were never found far from Logan’s side. He had surprisingly become your beacon of light and was constantly aware of your needs.

“Have you thought about starting to teach again?” Jean asked one night at dinner. “Your kids miss you, and it might do you some good.”

“Maybe next week,” you responded. You needed a little bit more time to dwell on it all.

“Hey! It’s Y/N!” Pyro exclaimed, coming into the room. His loudness made you flinch and immediately put Logan on high alert. Pyro plopped down beside you, too close for comfort. You leaned back into Logan as Pyro playfully hit your arm. “You really need to—“

As your heartbeat began to race, Logan took matters into his own hands. He quickly reached around you with one arm, careful not to touch you, and released his claws, pointing them at Pyro’s neck

“Back away, bub,” Logan growled.

“Woah!” Pyro leaned back, hands up in defense. “I was just—“

“Back up.” Logan pushed his claws closer to his neck. 

Pyro scrambled back, especially as he noticed tears stream down your cheeks. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I didn’t mean to do anything.”

Logan’s claws slid into place as you leaned further into him. Logan’s harsh eyes quickly softened as he turned his attention on you. He still didn’t touch you, not wanting to push you further.

“Sweetheart,” he whispered, not caring who was watching the scene at the moment. “What do you need?”

“T—To—leave,” you stuttered, eyes squeezed close.

“Do you think you can walk?” 

“N—No…”

“You good with being carried?”

“Please.”

As swiftly and gently as possible, Logan hoisted you up in his arms and carried you to your room. You buried your head in his neck, allowing Logan to feel the tears escaping your eyes. Logan could hear your heartbeat start to slow, but the tears were still coming. Once he reached your room, he tried to set you down, but you clung to him.

“Hold me,” you whimpered.

Logan wasn’t about to tell you no. Hell, he would do anything you asked of him as long as it meant you were okay and happy. He sat on the bed and held you closely. He didn’t move his hands, wanting this to be whatever you were comfortable with. Logan held you until your tears passed.

“Logan,” you mumbled into his neck. “I’m sorry—“

“Not your fault, sweetheart. That stupid kid needs to be more aware of people's boundaries.”

“Thank you for being here for me.”

“Easiest thing I’ve ever done.”

“Easy?” You pushed back and focused on playing with the edge of your shirt. “Josh always said I was hard… difficult and needy.”

“That man was a liar, sweetheart. And not worth letting you waste any more time on him.”

“It’s hard… we were together for years… I… I loved him…”

“I know, but you deserve better, Y/N.”

“Maybe…”

“You’ll get there, and I’ll be there, whatever you need.”

~~~

It had been three weeks since Logan saved you from the apartment. and no one had heard from Josh. No one had mentioned it, but everyone was silently waiting for Josh to appear and wreak havoc. 

“Are you sure you’ll be alright? You can always wait to go after my meeting with the Professor,” Logan worried.

“I’ll be fine, Logan,” you told him. “Besides, I was going to make a visit to my class after the walk.” Logan clenched his jaw, not liking the idea of leaving you alone for long. “I’ll be okay. I’ll shout if I need anything. I’m sure you’ll hear me from Charles’ office.”

“Fine. Shout if you need anything. I’m serious.”

“I know.”

You shot him a brief smile before turning around and heading to the gardens. You weren’t there long before a voice had you going cold in your tracks.

“Hello, Y/N,” Josh’s voice slurred from behind you. 

Within moments, you felt like your heart was going to beat out of your chest. You couldn’t get yourself to turn around, squeezing your eyes shut. You weren’t surprised to hear Josh walk around and stand in front of you. Your lungs clenched as air refused to circulate through you. Josh’s hands harshly grabbed your upper arms and shook you.

“Look at me when I’m talking to you, bitch!” He exclaimed. Your eyes involuntarily snapped open. “I’m taking you home. Now.” He started dragging you.

“No,” you rasped. “No!” You began to put up a struggle, only making Josh’s hold on you grow harder. “Let go! Let go of me!”

“You’re forgetting your place, Y/N. When we get home—“

Josh was suddenly yanked away from you. The loss of his grasp had you falling to the ground. Looking up, you saw Logan holding onto Josh’s collar with one hand and hand his other aiming his claws under Josh’s chin.

“I’m only going to say this once, bub,” Logan growled, more anger in his tone than you had ever heard. “Fuck off. If I ever catch you near Y/N again, these claws will be the last thing you feel.” 

Logan shoved Josh away and moved to stand protectively in front of you, still glaring at Josh. Both sets of claws were out, Logan’s arms ready to attack at a moment's notice. Josh glanced at you briefly before Logan took an intimidating step forward. Then Josh ran off. Logan didn’t turn around until he saw Josh go through the gate. Once he was sure Josh was gone, he spun around and knelt in front of you.

Before any words could get out of his mouth, you had launched yourself at Logan, clinging to him like your life depended on it. Logan wrapped his arms around you loosely, not wanting to push you too far.

“Please,” you cried. “Hold me.”

Logan’s arms instantly closed around you tighter. “I’ve got you, sweetheart… you’re safe. I won’t let him hurt you ever again.”

~~~

The encounter with Josh left you shaken and basically back at square one. Logan wasn’t happy to find out that Josh’s grip on your arms had caused matching bruises. But he wasn’t going to let you see that. Instead, he helped you find a long-sleeve shirt to wear.

Months went by and slowly you began to heal parts of yourself again. Logan was there every step of the way, like he had promised. You eventually returned to teaching and other regular routines in the mansion. And you kept the new ones, like the morning walks with Logan. 

It didn’t surprise you as you began to realize that you were forming feelings for Logan. You had talked to a therapist about it, worried that it was a trauma response, but they had walked you through things, and you were sure your feelings were real. You didn’t want to rush into anything. It helped that it was clear that Logan would take things at your speed. However, it was hard to keep it slow when he started complimenting you so often, and there was no doubt in his eyes that he didn’t mean his words.

“Hey, beautiful,” Logan greeted as he met you in the garden.

“Hey,” you responded, easily slipping your hand into his. 

The two of you began walking around the gardens, completing the same path you did every morning. 

“I’ve been thinking,” you began.

“Yeah, sweetheart?” Logan said, proving that he was listening to you.

“Would you… ummm… would you accompany me to Charles’ birthday party tomorrow night?”

Logan couldn’t help but smile at you with great pride. “I’d love to, darlin’.”

~~~

Logan met you at your bedroom door the night of the party and silently offered you his arm. He smirked when your arm laced through his. He led you down to the party, and you began mingling with the mostly familiar guests. You were grateful for Logan’s arm as all these people around you were making you anxious, but he was your anchor. Eventually, the two found yourselves against the wall, enjoying some drinks.

Lost in conversation with each other, you weren’t prepared for someone to bump into you, causing you to spill your drink all over Logan. A sudden wave of desperation and guilt washed over you.

“Oh my gosh!” You exclaimed, already started to tear up and tremble. Your hands came up to hover over Logan’s ruined clothes. “I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry! Gosh, I’m so stupid! I should have—“

“Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,” he stepped closer to you, trying to get your eyes to focus on his eyes. “Look at me, sweetheart.” Your eyes frantically snapped to his. “I’m going to grab your wrists and lead you upstairs, okay?”

“Okay,” you squeaked. 

Logan did as he warned and loosely took your wrists in his hands and began guiding you upstairs. You fully broke down as soon as you were in the privacy of your own room. You pulled yourself from Logan’s grip and stumbled back.

“I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry,” you rushed. “I know that you’re mad and that I—“

“No one’s mad, sweetheart,” Logan told you calmly. “It was all an accident. You’re okay.”

“But I ruined your shirt.”

“This can be washed. It’s okay.”

“It’s… okay?”

Logan’s heart was breaking for you. You may never get Josh’s influence out of you for good, but Logan would try to show you how Josh should have treated you.

“It’s fine, Y/N,” he confirmed. “It’s just a shirt.”

“I’m sorry,” you continued to cry. “I thought that I was doing better.”

“You are, sweetheart. You are doing amazing.”

“Then why did this trigger me?”

“Sometimes it happens, and that’s okay.” He held his arms out. “May I?” You stepped into his arms, letting him envelop you. “You’re doing amazing… healing is a slow process. Things are going to trigger you, and that’s okay. We’ll work through it.”

“Thank you for sticking this out with me.”

“Always.”

~~~

A few weeks later, the others began teasing how much like a couple you and Logan were. Neither of you talked about it with the other, and you both defended it with the others, though neither of you minded the idea of being a couple.

The two of you were standing alone on the balcony one night, enjoying the stars, when your focus shifted to Logan.

“Logan?” You quietly called.

“Hmm?” He hummed, glancing your way.

“Can you kiss me?”

Logan fully turned to face you now. “Are you sure, Y/N?”

“Yes.”

Logan stepped closer. “Where,” he paused to swallow, “where do you want my hands?”

You shrugged. “I’m okay with wherever… I trust you.”

Slowly, Logan’s hands came up to cup your cheeks. The two of you leaned in and hesitantly touched lips. The kiss was slow but caused your heart to race and feel like you were on fire in the best of ways. It wasn’t a long kiss, Logan wanting to pull back before you got overwhelmed.

“Thank you,” you whispered.

Logan chuckled, keeping a gentle hold of your face. “You don’t gotta thank me for everything, sweetheart. I’m just trying to treat you right.”

“All the more reason to thank you.”

He gave you another brief kiss. “I don’t want to rush you, but I have a question.”

“Yeah?”

“Can I be your boyfriend?”

You could have melted right there. For a rough guy to everyone else, Logan was truly the sweetest to you. “I’d like that… I’d like that a lot.”

“You’re being honest? Not just saying that because I asked?”

“It’s the truth.”

“Good. I’m gonna kiss you again.” As Logan leaned in, you pulled back.

“You don’t need to warn me before you touch me… I can handle it.”

“Sweetheart, I’m doing it out of love, and I will continue to do it to show that you always have control over the situation.”

“How are you this… good?”

Logan chuckled. “Only for you, baby, only for you.”

[thedevilsoftruth]

♡-Relief-♡

Gyomei Himejima x Afab Reader

Summary: You are married to Gyomei and are 5 months pregnant, but even when you are pregnant, Gyomei finds it hard to resist his desires.

Warning: Sexual content, slight sexual tension, vaginal fingering, oral ( f ), pregnant reader, not beta read! (srry!)

W/c - 3k ( I got a little carried away writing this, I'm sorry 😭 )

Minors DNI - I am not responsible for what you find on the internet.

It had been a few years since you had married Gyomei. He was the perfect lover, at least in your eyes. He never raised his voice at you, and you rarely found yourself arguing with him . He was gentle and kind and was exceedingly selfless, always putting you and your safety before anything else. But he was also a very sensitive man with a lot of trauma. Taking his trauma into account, it took him a long time to finally ask you for children. Not because he was scared of asking, but because he felt that he failed as a father once and didn't want to fail again.

And yet, here he was. Sitting with you, his 5 month pregnant wife outside in your backyard, eating a delicious dinner that you both prepared. The cold night air whipped past your face, making your body shiver with the breeze. Gyomei had already finished his second plate minutes ago, and he was now staring mindlessly into the night, though he could not see the beautiful dark sky looming over him. His large hand reached out for your waist, pulling you closer to him, your plate jittering in your lap as he moved you closer.

A soft murmur of an apology left his lips, and you vaguely reminded him that he didn't need to apologize by placing your hand on his knee. You laid your head on his shoulder and gazed up at the night sky, inhaling the fresh, cold air.

" The sky is beautiful tonight. " You told your husband mindlessly, wanting to start up a conversation no matter how small it was. He felt your hand on his, his fingers grazing over your soft knuckles before he grasped your hand fully, intertwining your fingers. He hummed softly in response.

" What does it look like, my love? " He inquired, closing his eyes, awaiting your response. You stared at the sky thoughtfully.

" The skies are clear. The moon is full, and the stars are very bright with the mountains off in the distance. " You told him, trying your hardest to describe what you were seeing that he could not. Gyomei visualized the night sky silently, trying to incorporate what you told him into his imagination. There was a silence between the both of you for moments, but it wasn't awkward.

" I wish you could see it. " You suddenly spoke, although you did not mean for the words to be spoken. You looked at your husband beside you. His thumb was running up and down your knuckles before he stopped. Squeeze. A small smile creeped upon his lips.

" You know my answer to that, my love. Now turn around. Allow me to massage you. " He instructed, his voice soft and sickeningly sweet. There was a very small underline of authority in his tone, and suddenly, you became aware of the copious amounts of times you had expressed your sympathy of his blindness to him. But you complied, and you turned your back to him, knowing that all your body needed at the end of the day was his hands relieving your pain.

Gyomei gently placed his hands on your shoulders, his hands large enough to match the size of your shoulders. A soft, almost inaudible gasp escaped your lips as he started rolling his fingers into your skin. He pressed his thumbs near the back of your neck, slowly making lines up and down the center of your neck. He leaned in close to your ear as he massaged you.

" I do not need my sight to appreciate and recognize the beauty of this world. I have the other four senses that the gods have blessed me with to guide me through my days. " Gyomei finally spoke, trailing his hands down, kneading your soft skin under his skillful touch. You let out a sight of relief, your body relaxing under his touch. He smiled at your reaction, satisfied he was able to help you.

He was sure to be extra careful with where he touched you, given the fact you were pregnant. He knew that sometimes he could be unaware of his own strength, so this time, it felt like he was barely touching you. You shifted in your seat uncomfortably. He felt the movements under his hand and made a confused look.

" A little harder, honey? And maybe lower. " You asked, looking at him over your shoulder. His face turned red, and he gulped hard.

" As you wish. "

His eyebrows furrowed in frustration. It wasn't anything inherently sexual, but Gyomei would keep getting reminded every once in a while that he hasn't been intimate with you in five months. Of course, he could live nine months without making love to you. You were pregnant! He wasn't going to wear you out like that while you were bearing his child. But, of course, there were always those few months after pregnancy where you had to recover--and oh, he was beginning to get frustrated with himself!

He exhaled deeply and lightly patted his fists along your back. You made a soft sound of satisfaction, and he could feel himself beginning to grow mad. You looked at him again when you felt him sighing, slightly concerned.

" Are you alright, my love? " You ask him, your voice laced with genuine concern. Gyomei forcefully relaxed his face and smiled.

" Happier than ever. " He responded, nuzzling his face into your neck. He wrapped his strong arms around you, and you melted into his embrace, your head leaning against his chest. You felt warm inside, and you began to think exactly what he was thinking.

You cupped his face with your hand and leaned in to kiss him deeply. He was surprised for a moment but was quick to give into it. His hand ran up and down your baby bump as he kissed you deeply, only adding to the intimacy of the moment. Then, his hands slipped to your thighs and began rubbing them gently. He tilted his head, deepening the kiss and his tongue playing with yours. You could feel yourself beginning to pant, and you pulled away from him. Your lips quivered, and he could feel your thighs close beneath his hands.

" Gyomei? "

" Yes, my love? "

" This is embarrassing, but uh... " You fiddled with your fingers, not wanting to look him in the eye even though you knew he couldn't see you. He reached for your chin, sensing you had put your head down in embarrassment, and he kissed you passionately.

" Do not feel embarrassed with me, my dear. Whatever you need, I am happy to give you. " He said, his voice soft and understanding as he slipped his hands up and down your thighs sweetly. You felt your face heating up.

" I... I want you to make love to me. "

If Gyomei was holding a plate right now, that plate would have been crashing onto the floor and shattering into a million pieces. He stared in your direction, mouth agape in shock. It's not like he didn't want to make love to you. It's that he didn't expect you to even want him with the pain he imagined you were dealing with.

He didn't know what to say. You were beginning to get nervous.

" It's okay if you say no-- "

" No, I would like to. If that is what you want, I will give it to you. "

You felt your cheeks going red again. He cupped your cheek and kissed you with comforting and reassuring lips. His hands went over your belly again, and you smiled against his lips. He pulled away from you and grinned.

" Let's go inside. "

~~~

You hadn't been naked in front of him for months. You were nervous and very embarrassed about the way you looked. Even though you were only 5 months in, you couldn't bare the changes of your body and you could feel the pregnancy hormones start to kick in when he heald you in his arms, seemingly paying no attention to your body changes.

His hands grazed over your hips where you had the most stretch marks, his head slipping between your thighs. You slapped his hand away, and he quirked a brow at you, confused.

" Did I do something wrong, love? " He asked innocently, his soft face looking up at you.

You instantly felt bad.

" No! 'm sorry. I just... ah, forget it. "

He stared in your general direction for several moments, a very confused expression etched on his face. He actually looked kinda cute. He cleared his throat and rose up to meet you. He didn't realize how close his face was to yours. A large hand sneaked up your side, taking your breath away.

" Something is troubling you. You know you can trust me, my love. " He reminded you, cupping your cheek in his rough hand and rubbing your cheek with his thumb. You felt like you were going to cry. What did you do to deserve him? He felt hot tears running down his hand. If there was one thing he hated, it was seeing people cry. But if there was anything he hated more than seeing people cry, it was seeing you cry. His heart ached, and he felt like he was also going to cry.

You didn't understand it. He didn't either.

" It's just... we haven't been intimate in so long. And, ive... I've gained weight since we found out about the pregnancy. " You explained to him, your voice being broken up by sobs. Gyomei felt like his heart was breaking. He placed each hand on either side of your face and kissed you.

" Is that what you are worried about? My love, there is nothing wrong with a little weight gain. My love for you will continue to be as infinite as the stars no matter what you look like. " He told you with glassy, teary eyes. He was so soft-spoken, so gentle, so loving. He loved you so much, and he made sure that that was vividly clear to you every day. It only made you want to cry more. " Plus, our child is growing inside you. And that, my love, is the most beautiful thing ever. "

He wiped away the hot tears that were streaming down your cheeks, and he leaned in to press a kiss to your forehead. When he closed his eyes, tears rolled down his cheeks as well. You wrapped your arms around his neck and looked him deep in his cloudy eyes.

" Kiss me, Gyomei, please. " You pleaded him with a soft sob. His large thumbs continued to wipe away your tears, and he leaned in with quivering lips, capturing yours in a passionate kiss. You felt instant relief wash over you, and you hiccuped against his mouth, but he didn't seem to care.

His hands ran through your hair, tilting his head to kiss you deeper. You softly moaned against his lips. A strong hand fell down to your neck, a gentle thumb brushed against your jaw and a sweet voice whispered to you,

" I love you. Never forget that. "

And oh, how breathless he left you as he trailed soft kisses down your torso. You parted your thighs for him once more, his board shoulders keeping them apart as he bent down to kiss your tummy. So many emotions washed through you when his strong hands caressed your thighs, and he pressed a kiss to the inside of your thigh.

You whimpered softly as he softly kissed your wet folds. Your tears finally stopped when he parted your outer lips, allowing him more access to your core. A gasp left your puffy lips as his mouth latched onto your soft, aching clit. He sucked slowly while he prodded two thick fingers against your entrance. You bit your finger as his fingers slipped inside you. He heard your gasp, and a smile crept upon his thin lips as he continued to eat you out.

" Feel good? " He asked against your sweet cunt, which be ate at like the finest of candy. Your pussy fluttered against his fingers at his words.

" Y-yes. Oh-oh god... " You whispered as his fingers slipped into you deeply, stretching you wide. It was like heaven. The duo of his tongue on your clit and his fingers curling inside you was enough to get you closer to god. Your eyes fluttered shut, and your hips bucked against his hand, begging for more.

All this man needed to do was to just kiss you and hold you in his arms for all of your problems to go away. His tongue parted your folds and flicked against your clit, his free hand rubbing your belly in soft circles.

The contact of his hand to your belly sent a warm feeling of pure love flowing through you. The skin on your thighs rose with light goosebumps, and you could feel him smiling against your core as he felt your reaction. You sighed as he twisted his fingers deep into you, burying them to the hilt as he pumped them in and out of you slowly. His tongue flicked up and down your clit, humming softly and sending vibrations to flow through your body.

You reached down and grabbed a fistfull of his hair, but he didn't flinch. If anything, it motivated him. He redoubled his efforts of your clit, and shook his head against your core, closing his mouth around the tiny bud and kissing it harshly. His eyes opened, his thick brows furrowed, and, for a moment, you could swear he was staring right at you. It made your legs weak, and your thighs clenched around his face. He didn't push you away, nor did he seem frustrated by it. In fact, he loved when you did things like pulling his hair, clawing at his skin, or clenching your thighs around hum.

His deep brown eyes that were clouded with his blindness were locked onto yours from in between your legs. It was certainly a sight. His eyes rarely ever directly found yours, and for him to be able to be staring at you like that, especially in the intimate position you were in then, was something that could make you crazy. But, the moment quickly died out as they darted off into a random direction before he closed them completely again.

His lips softly kissed your throbbing clit, pecking at it like the finest of fruits, rubbing the tip of his tongue in slow circles around your flesh and making you moan loudly. Your hips bucked towards his face, your fingers pulling at his scalp and your thighs beginning to shake in his arms.

You moaned his name guttarly, your eyes rolling back as his fingers curled around that special part in you that sent you flying. Your lips parted, your mind souly focused on the feeling of the pleasure that he was granting you and that feeling only. He responded to your cries of pleasure by pumping his fingers slightly faster and sucking onto your clit harshly. Your eyes closed tight, countless moans leaving your lips and making your husband get so incredibly hard.

" Angel, "

Suck. Kiss. Thrust.

" Are you close? "

His voice was like music to your ears. Your cunt fluttered around his fingers at the sound of his voice, your tight walls clenching onto him for dear life, trying to keep him inside you as long as it could.

" Y-yes. " You whimpered, grinding yourself against his hand, desperately seeking more friction. He growled and heald your hips down, his brows furrowing in pure concentration as he quickened his pace at literally everything.

He withdrew his mouth from your cunt and rose up to your face to kiss you. He replaced his tongue with his thumb, rubbing against you in tight, hard circles. He drank down your moans and rested his free hand against the side of your neck. He kissed the corner of your mouth and peppered kisses down your jaw until he lifted your face with his thumb, gaining access to the area below your jaw. He kissed his way down to the center of your neck, his thumb continuing to rub against your clit and send you to heavenly bliss.

But what got you the most--because it was so unexpected, especially coming from him, was his only smug remark of the night,

" You like that? "

Your face immediately heated up. Your thighs closed against his hand, and for the first time, he actually pushed them back open. He bowed his head back between your legs and slowly began kissing your cunt again. You stared at him In shock.

Who was this man?

You felt hot. Really hot. Suddenly you couldn't breathe as his fingers curled and thrust into your g-spot, his tongue making sweet love to your clit. Your legs shook and kept closing in on his face, your hips jerky as the pleasure began to consume you. His eyes opened, and he did that weird thing again where he looked at you.

His large, rough hands wrapped your thighs and heald them open for him so he eat at your oversensitive cunt more. You felt so flustered, so confused, but so incredibly turned on. Once he was satisfied you got the hint and wouldn't move as much as before, he finally let his fingers slip back into your cunt. But this time, it wasn't two that he slipped in. It was three.

You cried out, and he responded by digging his fingers deeper into you and closing his lips around your clit.

Suck. Kiss. Thrust.

" Fuck, " you whispered, putting your hand over your heated face, your puffy lips quivering as your husband completely and utterly devoured you. You could feel that familiar sensation building up inside your abdomen. You were going to cum soon, and judging by the way your cunt was fluttering and clenching around him, he was aware of it too.

" C'mon, sweetie. " He encouraged, rising his body up a little, letting your legs fall on his board shoulders as he finger-fucked you into bliss. You whimpered and moaned continuously, your eyes fluttering shut, soft cunt pulsating on him and begging him to stay inside you.

" Gyo... d-dont stop! Feels--feels so g-good. " You choked on your moans, your legs shaking helplessly on his shoulders. He reached an arm out so his free hand could fondle your plump breast. His fingers curled and thrust against your g-spot once more, causing you to gasp out and jerk your hips towards him.

God, he could listen to those sweet sounds all fucking day long. His eyes rolled back, quickening the pace of his fingers. And suddenly, you couldn't take it anymore. You finally poured down on him, your hot, thick cum spilling onto his thick fingers and the sheets. You panted, desperately trying to catch your breath as you came down from your high.

He pumped his fingers I to you a few more times before he finally withdrew them. He wiped his fingers onto his hoari, his mouth drinking up everything your leaking cunt had to offer. He darted his tongue out, tasting your cum-coated folds, swiping it up and down and gathering every last drop of it.

And finally, when he was done, he rose back up to meet you. He let your legs drop back down, and he kissed you gently.

He cupped your face and smiled at you when you pulled away.

" I hope that relieved some of your pain if you had any. " He spoke softly, his hand tracing over your baby bump. You hummed in contentment and smiled as he pulled you into a warm embrace.

You wouldn't cry for the rest of the night or any other night of your very long pregnancy. But, you would still be in pain, and Gyomei would always do whatever he had to do to relieve it.

[darth-jess]

Hello ! Here's a Star Wars question. What's your opinion on "love isn't attachment" interpretation of the Jedi Code that has been going around?

Hey! Sorry it took me so long to answer this!

Short answer: Love and attachment often go hand in hand, however, they are NOT the same thing.

Long answer:

At the end of the day, this question hinges on how you define love, and what kind of love you are talking about. The English language is quite limited when it comes to love, because there are many different kinds love. (I've said it before, and I'll say it again, we need to bring back all the Ancient Greek words for all the different kinds of love, they were on to something.)

Love in general is not forbidden for Jedi, which means that there are at least SOME kinds of love that do not require attachment.

As Anakin puts it:

Compassion/agape/unconditional love is essential to being a Jedi. And this kind of love is not attachment. This kind of love expects nothing in return. This kind of love is never jealous, is never possessive, and does not hinge on ego or desire. This kind of love is not physical or sexual. There is no "I love you, I want you, I need you," and instead, there is self sacrifice, there is generosity, and it transcends personal desire.

HOWEVER.

When it comes to romantic love, there is always some aspect of attachment. This kind of love (when shared between two people) does come with expectation: I expect you to support me emotionally, I expect intimacy, I expect communication, I expect commitment, I expect loyalty, etc… (might sound demanding, but put it this way: would you be with someone who didn't care about your emotions? Who never wanted to be intimate with you? Who refused to communicate? Who refused to commit to you? Who cheated on you? I hope the answer is no because that would be very unhealthy).

Romantic love without attachment can come off as very cold, and uncaring. If your romantic partner said, "Hey, I love you so much, but if you left me for someone else or died, I would let you go and get over it and be fine, it's just the way of life," you might be slightly hurt.

Romantic love is deep, biological (not only in the sense of "it's for procreation" because it's so much more than that, and so much deeper, it fills a need for human companionship, friendship, someone you can trust beyond trust, someone to share everything with), and at its core, romantic love requires some level of attachment. It comes with all that "I LOVE YOU, I WANT YOU, I NEED YOU" passionate emotional insanity which is also inherently possessive. Romantic love requires an acknowledgment of the ego, it feeds the ego: I love you, AND you love me, and that feels great.

Romantic love centers around the self. Romantic love stems from what you want. (I'd never tell my sister, "On your next date, don't think about what you want or what you are looking for, think about what the guy wants and be selfless" because that is the worst dating advice ever.) Romantic love is inherently selfish- you want to end up with the person that makes you happy!

AND THAT IS NOT A BAD THING.

Unless you are a Jedi. (If you need a reason why, please just watch the Star Wars Prequels and you'll have your answer.)

IN CONCLUSION

Love is NOT attachment, however romantic love inherently comes with attachment.

Footnote: while attachment, possession, selfishness, and jealousy are all very normal of romantic love, every romantic relationship needs a balance. There are levels of possessiveness and selfishness and attachment that have to be worked out in every relationship and people have to find what levels of these things they are comfortable with. Not ALL manifestations of possessiveness in a romantic relationship is good/bad, etc. just clarifying.

[gliphyartfan]

Good morning, afternoon or evening.

I'm not usually one to ask for anything, you know that well, but today...

Today I woke up curious, and I came to ask, if you have, any headcannon of the other links. Sage/Tears,Calamity/soldier,Koridai, Courage, First and maybe also about Shadow...that art of Dree left me thirsty for Four emo.

*inhales*

PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE (⁠༎ຶ⁠ ⁠෴⁠ ⁠༎ຶ⁠)

—Double Anon

Alright alright! I hear you! Took forever to search for my old discussion about them

and at the end of the day, I just asked Yandy and Dree to hand in what we talked about. (Thank you my lovely dears, I always adore you~)

Anywho (sorry for it’s all over the place!)

So here are those headcanons!

- Courage was a street rat who earned a name for himself by using his street smarts to provide for himself. He was noticed by the royal family and initially hired to be a guard in the Castle. After learning Courage is the hero he left to travel and adventure.

- Korodai was similarly poor and orphaned but worked his way up through the Church of Hylia, not taking any serious vows but still training to be the Hyrulian equivalent of a monk who can kick ass(so like a knight for the church). He was still pretty goofy and silly though in spite of his intelligence.

- The people in the church learned he was the hero and sent him to the Royal Family where he continued his training. Korodai’s journey in “Faces of Evil” is his first official journey.

- Courage is incredibly strong, similar to Twilight except even moreso. People don’t really see this coming because of his lackadaisical and unserious nature, they don’t expect him to actually be that powerful.

- Because of his history on the streets, Courage never knew how to properly interact with nobility and royalty, which is how his “love-hate” relationship with Wisdom(his Zelda) started. He was attracted to her but she didn’t like how he had no manners and thus started the cycle.

- Both Korodai and Courage are exceptionally clever and resourceful.

(….And if one is around, so is the other. They are a duo! )

——-

Im sure Calamity/Soldier (I call him Cal) is very much the silent stalker yandere.

I feel like he can’t feel himself being able to fit in with the chain.

Because all of them are heroes, but the Master Sword doesnt even answer to him.

Or at least hasn’t said a word.

Basically all of these guys around him are accomplished but well, him? He’s not so special. The only way he knows how is to be darling's shadow.

And therefore follow them and around?

Maybe he’s learned some manners being the princess' guard, so he treats darling like royalty and their word is law hahaha.

———-

Sage? Overprotective to the max.

If Sage is Wild but hasn’t met darling until his third adventure, I think he would be very willing to see darling as a goddess easier.

In his eyes, she’d be unlike anyone he’s ever known. This reverence might show in small ways, he’s always gentle with her, speaks to her with the utmost respect, and sometimes catches himself just watching her in quiet awe, as if he can’t believe she’s real.

Cuz Darling would be like a breath of fresh air for him since everyone around him took advantage of him or only cared about him being the hero.

he’d also have possessive streak that he keeps under tight control, but any hint of jealousy unleashes it. If he sees someone getting too close to Darling, he’d be tempted to step in immediately, but hold back with a calm, collected demeanor.

His icy gaze speaks volumes though.

Darling is worth any sacrifice, and he makes it clear that he would do anything to keep her safe, even if it means his own life. (Though (y/n) is definitely working on fixing that mentality if she is aware of it.)

Her presence alone eases the burdens he’s carried for so long, helping him feel grounded and human in a way he hasn’t experienced in years.

After years of being questioned or pushed to his limits, Sage finally finds someone whose judgment he respects without question.

If she tells him to rest or take a step back, he listens, even if every fiber of his being wants to protect her.

Though, he’s the type to stay up until she falls asleep, keeping a silent watch over her to ensure nothing can disturb her rest.

———

First feels like the one who’s more jaded than Legend??? Kinda?

Because compared to Legend, First canonically points out how he’s only used for convenience when he’s really needed.

Hmmm...I personal always imagine First being very soft spoken (well, when he wasn't angered to the point of raising his voice)

Not super soft spoken, not like he’s a fragile person, but very calming to hear.

And he loves every part of her, even if it pains him to see her in any negative/unhappy state.

Would he want to show her the true depth of his loyalty and love? Absolutely.

But he'd also want her comforted and happy.

If she ever drifts off to sleep in his arms, he's whispering all his words to her. All the things he'd held back on saying when she was conscious.

They'd be intense, overwhelming, very very...well...Yandere. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

If she heard it, she'd definitely be frightened by the weight behind it.

But he waits until she's deeply asleep to do so. Maybe a small part of his hoping a small part of her acknowledges his words, even if he'd rather her not be aware what atrocities he'd commit in order to protect her.

First may be jaded, but he keeps his darker thoughts deeply buried. He despises anyone who threatens her happiness, his face a mask of calm while his heart seethes with unspoken rage. (You know how everyone agrees Sky has a scary face when angered? That’s First, he rivals Sky with his scariness except it’s colder.)

Behind the scenes, he’d handle any threat swiftly, never letting it reach her attention.

———

Shadow. He gives me vibes where he likes to cause harm for the fun of it. He enjoys causing chaos and despair and taunts people.

But he also yearns for companionship.

Shadow gets an undeniable thrill from causing chaos. He knows how to push buttons and stoke insecurities, loving the reactions he pulls from people.

But he’d be surprisingly gentle around (y/n), changing his dark sense of humor just a bit to make her smile.

When (y/n) pays attention to someone else, Shadow sulks like a petulant child. He’s prone to shooting them glares, muttering under his breath, and might even playfully (or not so playfully) trip them up just to remind her where her focus should be.

Shadow has no filter around people he doesn’t like, especially if they’re close to (y/n). His sarcasm can cut like a knife, and he won’t hesitate to call them out in the most biting way possible if he senses even a hint of a threat.

Shadow has a talent for inconveniencing others while staying just on the edge of innocence with (y/n). It could be someone’s drink spilling, their cloak tripping them up (or down a flight of stairs), or anything that paints them as awkward or foolish in front of her. He finds it hilariously satisfying.

Shadow wants to be the only one who can make (y/n) laugh, surprise her, or put a smile on her face. If someone else manages to get a genuine laugh out of her, he sees it as a challenge, scheming immediately about how he’ll one up them next time.

He’s not above showing his irritation in front of her if she’s giving too much attention to someone else. A muttered, “What, are they that funny?” or a dramatic sigh as he stands just a little too close, casting glances that all but scream “notice me instead.”

Shadow’s affection for (y/n) is one of the only things that holds him back from outright causing harm.

[giggly-squiggily]

Not What I Actually Meant (Big Windup)

*dancing* Hey hey guess who's got Big Windup to share? I do :D I wrote this for the ever amazing @intheticklecloset and wanted to share it! I hope y'all like it :D

Summary: Abe blurts out something he doesn't mean in the heat of the moment, and now Mihashi's overthinking himself sick. Time to sort things out.

Cloud 9 (Taglist Peeps):

@cupcake-spice13

Abe was in a pickle.

It was especially bad, given how he didn’t even like pickles!

It all started a few days ago during baseball practice. The day had been long and he was oh so very tired. So tired in fact he didn’t see Tajima until the little bastard was behind him, sinking his fingers into his ribs.

“GAH! Son of a-Tajima!” He snapped as he twisted around, facing the grinning clean up hitter. “Would you freaking STOP?”

“What’s wrong, Abe? You’re so grumpy today!” Tajima stuck his tongue out playfully, unfazed by the catcher’s glare. “A real sour puss too! I haven’t seen you smile once this entire session!”

“It’s hard to smile when you have idiots running around jamming fingers in your ribs! I freaking hate that!” Abe fussed, swatting at him as Tajima did a little crab dance, mock pinching at him just out of reach. “Go mess with someone else if you’re so bored!”

Tajima blew a raspberry at him before running off, doing exactly as Abe suggested. Rubbing at his sides, he turned to find Mihashi standing nearby. “What a pain in the ass. He’s lucky he’s so good at what he does, else I’d break his arms.”

The pitcher was quiet as they walked, something tense in the air between them. “Are you listening?”

“Huh? Oh, I, erm- ugh..” Mihashi yelped at the question, his face lined with anxiety. “S-Sorry, I just eh..”

Abe took a breath, waving him off in what he hoped to be a gesture of faith. He really didn’t have the mental strength to do this today. “It’s fine. Don’t sweat it, Mihashi.” When that anxious look remained, he reached out and punched his shoulder. “Good job today.”

That seemed to help. Mihashi flushed with pride, eyes shining. “T-Thank you! Y-You did good too.”

And yet, despite this- that anxious frown somehow found its way back as they walked home, seeming to remain.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had been a few days since, and Mihashi was still acting weird around him.

At first, Abe assumed it was due to stress. It was mid-year exam time, that combined with practice running longer meant there was more to juggle than usual. That explained why he suddenly looked ready to faint all the time.

That didn’t explain however why he was being distant-literally. In game, Mihashi was golden; following his signs and tuned in to his comments and critiques. Outside that, he put at least three feet of space between them on the bench, and when they were standing next to one another, he’d freeze up, straight as a board and barely breathing.

At some point the catcher gave himself a discreet sniff to see if he offended, but outside sweat, he smelled fine.

Finally, after what felt like an additional foot of space was added between them, he had enough.

“Come here.” Abe didn’t bother with questions, grabbing Mihashi’s arm and dragging him out of the dugout. He waved off concerned brows as they made their way towards the school, finally having a minute alone. “What’s going on, Mihashi?”

The pitcher flinched at the directness of his tone. “Erm, I..erm…”

“Come on, spit it out already!” Abe growled, wincing when the pitcher’s lip quivered. Gentle, gentle. “You’ve been distancing yourself from me lately, and whenever we’re standing near each other you get all weird.” He hated the tone of hurt creeping into his voice, but so be it. “What, do you not want to hang out anymore?”

“No!” Mihashi yelped out, wide eyed as he shook his head. “No, not at all!”

That sounded earnest enough. Abe waited, knowing if he demanded an answer the pitcher would only shut down. Mihashi took a breath as he looked at his hands, lips quivering and eyes filling. “I feel ba-ad, that’s a-all.”

“...Huh?” Abe blinked, not sure what that meant. “What do you have to feel bad about? You haven’t done anything wrong?”

“B-But-” Mihashi shook his head, his frown deepening. “I have! Y-You said the o-other day…about Tajima, an-and..”

The other day? Abe had mostly forgotten what he said. “What did I say about Tajima?”

“Yo-You told him you…that you ha-hated it when..” Mihashi waved his hands, voice shaking as his anxiety got worse. “When he tickled you. I felt bad because I’ve been doing it t-too…I’m rea-ally sorry, Abe.”

The catcher stared, racking his brain as he tried to remember when he ever said that. Wait- wasn’t it-

Oh.

Oh.

“Ah geez.” Abe rubbed his face with both hands, both relieved and exhausted at the same time. Mihashi looked up at him with wide, wet eyes- seeming to forget how to breathe. “I really messed up, didn’t I?”

“A-Abe? No, I-”

“You heard me tell Tajima I hated being tickled.” The catcher stated, watching Mihashi deflate some. “And now you feel like you’ve been making me uncomfortable this entire time and feel like shit. Am I somewhere in the ball park here?”

Nail in the coffin. Mihashi bowed his head as he nodded, pulling at his fingers so tightly they were turning white. Abe felt his neck get hot as he looked towards the field, finding the words.

“Look, in that moment, that was how I felt. I was tired and cranky, and I didn't like being tickled at that moment.” He willed himself to look back at the pitcher- finding those wide nervous eyes on him. “That…doesn’t mean I don’t like being tickled at all. I don’t mind it when I’m in a better mood, and I..don’t really mind it when you do it either.” God, was it hot in here? He tugged at his collar, gritting his teeth. “So stop acting so weird about it. You’ve done nothing wrong, and if I actually want you to stop, I’ll tell you.”

“O-Okay.” The pitcher nodded, seeming to relax. Not enough if you asked Abe though. “T-Thank you for telling me.”

The catcher nodded, leaving them kinda standing there. This was getting more and more awkward by the minute. Mihashi looked like he wanted to ask something, opening and closing his mouth as he fiddled with his hands.

“You can do it if you want.” Abe gestured, earning a small yelp from the other.

“Are you sure?”

“Would I be offering it if I wasn’t?” He put his arms up and behind his head, looking at Mihashi expectantly. “If it puts your mind at ease, then do it. I’ll tell you when I’m through.”

The shy pitcher nodded, hesitantly reaching out and prodding at Abe’s side. It made him twitch, but he refused to put his arms down. “C-come on now, I know you can do better than thahat!”

The gentle prods turned into more fingers, lightly clawing at his side while Abe puffed his cheeks. Sure, he could just laugh, but what fun would that be? “O-Okay! Here I come, Abe!”

He would have told the pitcher to “bring it” if he hadn’t immediately broken into giggles at the addition of a second hand. “Gah! Ehehhahahaha! S-Sehehehehee? Thihihis if fihihihne! I’m nohohohoht hahahahhting thihihihis at ahahahhahall!”

Mihashi’s worried look was fading with each laugh earned, his eyes softening and his frown fading into a small smile. “G-Good! I’m happy to hear t-that.” He changed his finger positioning in such a way it nearly made the catcher shoot his arms down, the tickles riding his nervous system in waves.

Who knew the world’s most anxious pitcher was this good at tickling? If he ever got serious, he could probably put Tajima to shame. “Aheahhahahha! Gehahhaha, cooohohome ohohohon- I’m nhoohohot juhuhuhust tihihihicklish oohohn my rihihihibs!”

“D-Do you want me to move?” Mihashi asked, pausing briefly while Abe caught his breath. “I can go somewhere else if you want..”

“Heh..hehehe..y-yeah, sure. Whahahtever works.” Abe didn’t really have a preference. Whatever floats his boat, right?

Then fingers dug into his stomach out of nowhere and Abe began regretting giving Mihashi such free range.

“GAHAHA!” He immediately doubled over at the touch, arms shooting down and blocking his belly as he fell to his knees. “Gahhahad, a wahaharning next tihihime, Mihihhashi! Ehehehee! Yohoohu can’t go arohohund thiihckling a man’s pudge like that!”

Mihashi seemed stunned into silence, eyes wide. For a moment, Abe wondered if he was too harsh in his response.

Then the pitcher was covering his mouth, cheeks puffing and warming. He let out a few muffled giggles before giving up and laughing outright. “Ahehehehahaha! Puuhuhudge?”

He did say that, didn’t he? Abe snorted, grinning at the sight of Mihashi all but falling on  his butt in soft giggles, one hand covering his mouth while the other held his belly. “That really tickled you, didn’t it?”

Laughing still, Mihashi could only nod as he wiped at his face. It was such a refreshing sight, seeing those anxious lines finally, finally fade away. “Eheheh..heheh..sohohorry.”

“What did I say about apologizing?” Abe tsked, reaching out and lightly shoving Mihashi when the other panicked. “Relax, dude. Really- you’re fine.”

The pitcher nodded, something easier in his gaze when he met his eye again. “Thank you..but still, I am sorry for being weird earlier. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”

“You-” Damn, was it obvious. Abe cleared his throat as he looked away. The field felt hot once more. “Fine, okay, maybe it did piss me off, but we’re fine now. I’m over it.”

“But-”

“Mihashi, if you apologize one more time I’m gonna sit on you and tickle you until you pee.” Abe glared, putting all his intensity in it. An empty threat, but it did the job. The pitcher nodded rapidly, muttering about understanding. “Cool? Cool. Let’s get back before Coach sends Tajima after us.” He pulled Mihashi to his feet, walking back feeling refreshed. To his personal satisfaction, Mihashi wasn’t putting distance between them anymore.

When they got back to the dugout, he even felt a small poke in the ribs before the pitcher headed onto the field for drills. Abe raised a brow, strangely proud.

He likely just released yet another tickle monster upon himself.

Eh. Worth it if it meant he felt more confident.

Thanks for reading!

[storiesbyjes2g]

3.189 Correction

When story time ended, Sophia took Desi to the bathroom and washed away the mess. With a few moments to myself, I went to the real estate website to see our house again and choose which side we'll call home. Both houses have an identical layout, so it really boiled down to which furniture we liked more. The gray house had a more sophisticated vibe, while the blue house was more relaxed and comfortable. Choosing was a lot harder than I imagined because they both were nice, and I couldn't go wrong with either. Ultimately, however, I chose the gray one. I figured since I'm taking on all the risk, it's only right we live in the fancier one. Just as I picked up the phone to call Less and tell her we have a house, someone knocked at the front door. It was Dub! I let him in and told him I was just thinking of him yesterday. Usually he'd take the opportunity to joke about how he has that effect on sims, but he just kinda snorted and said it was funny in the driest of tones. There was nothing funny about that half-hearted laugh and him standing in the foyer staring into the corner. Something was wrong.

"Earth to Dubstep. You coming in or you gonna stand in the foyer all night?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, I'm good."

He definitely was not good because he didn't even flinch at the mention of the nickname he hates so much. Whatever's got him in a funk is probably why he's here. He always comes to me when he's in crisis. Well, when he perceives he's in crisis, rather. I love the guy, but he's a little high-strung sometimes. I'm glad he has sims in his life like Maia and me who are much calmer and more level-headed to keep him straight.

I didn't want to just dive in and spook him, though, so I started with a little small talk.

"Happy belated," I said.

"Thanks, man," he replied with a tiny grin.

"How did Tami like sharing her day with you?"

He let out a very long sigh, and I knew I had stepped unintentionally right into the middle of what I tried to dance around. I guess we're going all the way in.

"She didn't."

"Oh."

"How do you-" He stopped himself and turned away from me. "Nevermind. You wouldn't understand."

"Understand what?"

He swatted at me, trying to sweep the conversation back under the rug.

"Nothing. You have the perfect child and all this wisdom. You don't understand what it's like for the rest of us."

Was he mocking me? I've had it up to here with everyone assuming I live this perfect life and have all the answers. I'm one of the most down-to-earth sims I know, yet somehow I still end up being out of touch with everyone. Am I too confident? Too strong? I know I've carried things I shouldn't have in the past, and I need to be more open, but how does that equate to me having it all together? I know Dub is upset about something and isn't thinking straight, so I'm gonna try to let it go this time, but not before I give him a little dose of truth because, upset or not, this fairytale everyone thinks I live in ends today.

"Do you really believe that?" I asked.

He shrugged.

"Maybe. I don't know. But I'm sure you're gonna tell me how I'm wrong, so..."

"Damn right I am. You don't know my life like you think you do. And you definitely don't know what goes on in my head. 'All this wisdom?' I got it from all the shit and mental gymnastics I've been through. Now, I'll be the first to say my child is the best, but she has her moments too. And I've had my share of parenting and marriage fails, so don't tell me I don't know what it's like."

He sat silently for a few moments, taking in my reprove. Part of me thinks all he needed was to hear me say he's not alone, but another part thinks he still needs advice on something, so I got down to business.

"What happened, Dub? I don't like seeing you like this."

"I'm sorry. I don't know why I said that."

"Don't worry about it. What's going on?"

"You ever wonder if you're ruining Desi?"

His question caught me off guard, and I laughed. He has no idea how obvious that answer should be.

"Only all the time," I said.

His eyes lit up.

"Really?"

"Of course. Did Tami come with a manual? Because we sure didn't get one. I don't know what I'm doing half the time, man, so yeah...I wonder. Like, her birthday is in two days, but I'm still carrying her around like an infant. She enjoys it, so it's cool, but is it hurting her? Will she want to be up under us all the time when she's older? Am I keeping her from becoming independent? I question every move I make with her, even if it's not necessarily bad."

"I feel that." He sat there, nodding over and over as if to drum up the courage to make his next statement. "Tami has been doing and saying some mean things lately, but I just let it happen because of my own feelings about the sims she's doing it to."

"How do you mean?"

"I told you she kicked my former tenants. You know they deserved that. She also bit my father-in-law. I was so proud of her because someone needs to knock him down a few pegs. But she's older now and using words. She cut up this little girl in the park yesterday and told her she wasn't pretty."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. But the other girl started it, so she had it coming too."

"I see what you mean now."

"So, what do you think about it?"

Oof. Why does he always put me in this position? I have a lot of feelings about this, but I'm sure none of them are what he wants to hear. But what kind of friend would I be if I said nothing? I'd feel terrible if Tami grew up to be a monster, knowing I had the opportunity to shed some light early on. It won't be comfortable, but I've got to at least try. Here goes nothing.

"I think ... You're my boy, and I'll always tell you the truth, so ... You're her dad, Dub. You should be the one telling her those things are wrong, not encouraging her bad behavior. I know you think all those folks got what they deserved, which is also problematic, but is that the message you want to send Tami? That she can do and say whatever she wants and get away with it because 'they deserved it?' I'm afraid of the path you're putting her on. What kind of a woman will she become if you let her continue on like this? Do you think of her future?"

"Of course I do! What kind of a-"

He paused, succumbing to the realization I was right, even though I wondered if I had gone too far.

"I'm sorry if I'm out of line," I said. "I wouldn't have said anything if I didn't care."

"No. You're right. You always are. I was just thinking about what my parents will say if they find out how she's been acting. There's no way in hell they would have let me get away with the stuff I let slide."

I can't imagine my parents letting us get away with that either, but I honestly don't know what they would have done. Me and Less never really got into trouble, and my parents were both so lenient. I guess I'll never know. Hopefully, I'll never have to talk to Desi about this.

"I'm glad you always keep it 100 with me," he continued. "That's why I trust you so much. Can't lie, though. That hurt, but I know I needed to hear it. Deep down, I knew, but I never saw it like that. I'll do better, though. Believe that."

"I believe it, man. We don't play about our daughters."

"We absolutely do not!"

Not that I don't love these deep conversations with my best friend, but that one got really heavy, and he clearly has a lot to mull over later, so I pulled out my phone and showed him our new home, hoping a lighter topic would do the trick.

[soulstagger]

"Five hundred... how is that possible?" Part of her answer is to mask the fact she too has avoided death for so long now, but the part is true disbelief that Remilia was actually alive.

No doubt the features she carries told somewhat of a story, the fangs, the wings, the fact she looks only a little older than when they last met. Meanwhile Micuccia looks easily a decade older, maybe a little more.

"Emi..." She wants to sit up a little, her eyes drift towards the maid with a remorseful look. "Sorry.."

"Emi, I... when I finaly came to see you, after they kept telling me I could, that I had to stay away. You were gone." But was that right of her to say, Micuccia hears her words about what she thought happened to her.

She did vanish after all, for some time. And when she finally found her way back Emi's family, Emi was gone. No doubt in that time frame, Micuccia's family would of reported her missing, or announced her death. A low born family, made high only by their riches. She doubted Emi would of heard of anything like that.

No she must of simply, vanished, or abandoned her friend. Dead on the street..

"I..." A painful smile took over, feeling as though she'd abandoned Emi. She was a vampire? Right? That's what this was, and she wasn't there to stop it. "I wanted to see you. I hurried to your place after weeks of being turned away, I wanted to see you then..."

"It all went black...I was taken.. I'm sorry, I was taken and I couldn't..."

Being presented with such an intense look, Sakuya hesitated just long enough for Remilia to stop her. She's only seen a handful of humans look at her in such a way before. Unless, Micuccia isn't human? Her ears and tail have become visible for both her and Remilia to see, which leaves more questions in Sakuya's mind on what exactly she is.

Questions to be answered later, as now Micuccia seems to need a little help to calm down. Sakuya continues to work diligently to help the other woman cool off, despite the fact that just a few minutes earlier she had been choking her to death.

Thankfully, any and all killing intent seems to have left Micuccia when she next opens her eyes. Perhaps she was only acting in self defense, Sakuya thought.

"Mimi... It really is you." Hearing Mimi call her by that name again, it really takes her back. Back to a time where Remilia's only worries were family related. But now, here she stares down at Micuccia completely transformed. If the fangs she bit her with weren't enough of a clue, then surely the wings on her back would have been.

"It's been more than five hundred years since I last saw you. This whole time I was sure that you were dead by now, but here you are." Sakuya backs away so that Remilia can get a little closer. She cups Micuccia's cheek softly.

"Where have you been all this time? Why did you stop coming? And how are you still alive?"

[rhomellegacy]

Among everyone who Caspira has been "involved" with, who does she regret the most?

(wowza this piece is old??) 100% Terallo.

As far as bad decisions go, he's definitely somewhere in the top and definitely caps as the most regrettable relationship in her life. Sometimes allies, sometimes enemies, most often existing in an uneasy state of limbo because they were only ever looking out for their own self interests. They were both complex plotters willing to use one another to reach a respective goal, which the other was most often kept in the dark about.

She cost him a hand, he cost her an eye, and they both cost one another endless aggravation.

As much as he was the worst person she had ever been involved with, she was also the worst for him. And yet, they were always both drawn back to that conflict between them.

OOCly, Terallo's player is one of my best friends to this day and I'm delighted to have met them and play with them and still enjoy playing Pathfinder with them on a regular basis :D