#and sometimes she really wants to be just like Palpatine hahaha - there’s no other way to endure this “space opera”

[netmors]

Last year, after watching the Ahsoka series, I discovered Karyn as a character (I haven't finished the books yet, but I got obsessed with her regardless), and imagined her meeting Hera Syndulla after joining the New Republic.

Needless to say, when I discovered your Eleventh Fleet AU after that, it turned me into a fan of your art and head canon. :D

Karyn and Hera have… Let's say, a complex and confusing relationship, but they often have to work together.

“Spectre-2” and “Seven” cannot stand each other, but they have been very diplomatically trying to get along with each other for the last five years. True, they don’t always succeed.

Thank you, glad you like "Eleventh Fleet AU".

[vagrantblvrd]

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Late-night and also half-assed AU idea times?

The one where Luke gets sent back in time (Because Reasons) to Clone Wars era shenanigans.

Also Because Reasons Obi-Wan is put in charge of keeping an eye on this kid, idk, Biggs Antilles because everyone is so hapless in the Star Wars universe when under pressure, like seriously.

Anyway.

Obi-Wan is suspicious like a suspicious person and so is Anakin and Luke is kind of losing his mind because he never knew (suspected, but never had proof) that old Ben was a goddamned menace and all his lectures to Luke about same are like, wow, dude, wow.

Oh, and also his dad.

And Ahsoka?

And all the clones and everyone else and he’s like, ;____________________; at what could have been, you know?

But also not sure if he’ll ever get back to his time - he really hopes so because there’s this Mandalorian with an adorable kid - and oh, God, he needs to check on Grogu in this time stat, but yes.

Shenanigans in which Luke desperately tries to hide his real identity because everyone’s iike “He feels like Anakin,how strange, and Luke in the corner like “Hahaha, yes, STRANGE. :DDDDDD

And then adventures in which he ends up having to save Obi-Wan more than he ever expected to when he woke up twenty-something years in the past, and oh dear God is that his mom? (Leia looks so much like her. Mostly the angry part right now, because Anakin and recklessly endangering his life and uh, oops, he didn’t mean to eavesdrop???

But like. Luke is kind of bleeding again (he,too, recklessly endangered his life alongside his father and Obi-Wan) and thought medbay was this way and -

Wait, why are you looking at him like that?

Anaking and Padme worried Luke’s going to at them out to, idk, the Jedi council or whatever about their ~forbidden love, and Luke is just.

“What.”

So then the thing about attachments and how they’re bad because emotions is explained to him and Luke looks at his father who clearly loves his mother so much. Thinks about the nonsense about attachment and how scared it would make someone like Anakin, and Obi-Wan -

Luke loves him, but the man’s made mistakes. (And, like. Luke gets it, he does. Some adventure with Obi-Wan and sharing of past loves because they weren’t sure they’d make it out alive and why not share this thing with someone kind of friend-shaped, and anyway,)

Luke is like, okay, wow.

Because one, the thing about attachments is bullshit - show him one Jedi master who isn’t attached to their padawan for starters - and anyway.

Not his business who they love, an then he scurries off to medbay before he bleeds out in hallway or wherever, which is where Obi-Wan finds him and is like  >:((((( at the bleeding thing and :| about the attachment thing but also *SIGH* because Luke reminds him of this padawan he had once, what was his name???

Anyway.

Yes

Also, though, also.

Them taking Luke to Coruscant to meet with the Jedi council because they have no idea where he came from - Luke floated the possibility of time travel being real to Obi-Wan once, but as a hypothetical and really, never mind him - and anyway.

Luke being like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ as they ~question (interrogate) him because he has read up on the Jedi Order and their rules and whatnot. And where he might have been in awe of getting to meet all these Jedi masters once, now he just feels. Pity. He feels pity for them.

It shows, a little, and they call it arrogance for someone so young to think they know better than the entirety of the Jedi council and yet?

Luke doesn’t care.

Which kind of makes him a threat in their eyes, this incredibly powerful Jedi who appeared out of nowhere and shows so little - if any, really - respect for their Order.

And, they realize, who both Obi-Wan and Anakin like.

Ahsoka too, but she’s a padawan, young and such, doesn’t know better.

But also, also, after all the fun-times had with the Jedi council Luke walks out to find Palpatine talking to his father and his mother while Obi-Wan stands by and chips in with a comment or observation every so often and he is like !!! because he never expected this???

Somehow after hearing stories from people, he just. Didn’t expect the fall of the old Jedi Order to take place in a tastefully appointed waiting area, potted plants and chairs and such Maybe one of those little fountains you see in an office sometime for the soothing sound of moving water and whatnot.

Anyway.

Maybe it’s his own personal experience with the man in the throne room on the second Death Star with the dramatic lighting and so on, but it’s a wee bit jarring.

He has one of those “episodes” as the others call them, and gets hustled out of there posthaste while Palpatine is all, “Oh, dear, I do hope he feels better,” and Luke does all the meditating exercises so as not to blurt out that hey, so, that sith lord everyone’s trying to find? RIGHT THERE.

Because lack of evidence and such.

And it’s like.

After seeing what things were like, he’s just. He’s stuck here, probably, right? So. Maybe he can fix things, even a little.

(Right the wrongs that Palpatine wrought and so on.)

And while he’s doing that it occurs to him that Din, okay, Din is alive in this time. And he told Luke about the attack that killed his parents, about being rescued by Mandalorians, and is like.

Can he change that too? Should he? Searches everything he can only to realize he’s too late to do anything about it. That the attack happened before Luke arrived in this time and he has this.

This little breakdown in a library or some such somewhere, because all that fretting and whatnot he did about whether or not he should intervene was for nothing, a moot point because he was too late, and it’s like.

Existential crisis time because if he changes things more than he has, will he even exists in the future? Will Leia?

Will any of their friends exist, and on his way back to the quarters he’s been given he runs into Padme - perhaps sneaking out from visiting Anakin - and she’s surprised to see him, maybe a little worried too.

(She knows his views on the whole attachment thing, yes, but her and Anakin have kept their relationship a secret for a long time now and old habits)

Still, she notices he’s obviously not doing well and they talk for a bit, Luke asking her a hypothetical, like if she could go back in time to  change something to save someone she loved from suffering, would she?

And of course she is like. No, because doing so negates their choices and how would it affect others and so on?

Luke is just, right, of course.

But then she goes on and says, as a person, not a politician, a leader, she absolutely would.

Luke is like, oh, because of course that makes sense, doesn’t it.

Good of the many and so on and anyway.

He goes to his quarters and thinks on it for a bit and realizes, yes okay, the thing with Din was mostly selfish - he wants to say he wouldn’t have done it, but he still doesn’t know  - but Palpatine, okay, Palpatine.

How many million, billions, maybe more, lives was he responsible for? (Luke has his own count for the dead, and monstrously high it may be, but Palpatine is at the heart of all of it.)

So.

He he starts laying the groundwork to expose Palpatine, or maybe just build up, idk, say a Rebel Alliance to oppose him - and discovers that oh, would you look at that.

Because Padme and Bail and their closet conspirators who know something is coming, that Palpatine is surely part of it, but they don’t know the full scope of things.

And honestly, even Luke doesn’t, but.

They think he’s a spy or whatever, and there are all these shenanigans in the meantime, and Luke doing what he can to prove that he’s really on their side, and anyway, anyway.

He plants seeds here and there, everything Leia taight him, everything he picked up, and goes to Obi-Wan for help because his former master and watchdog, and anyway.

Before Luke gets to see if anything he’s done in the past pays off he gets booted back to his time.

Or a version of it.

Ripped back to his time and this moment where he’s sure he’s dead - in the middle of a space battle or collapsing temple somewhere and glowy doohickey, something like that, or, okay, Palpatine trying to kill hi again for the first time - and anyway.

Super disorienting.

Especially when he opens his eyes and Obi-Wan is there along with his father and is that Ahsoka?

But, like.

Older.

Also, though, Din.

And Grogu and Luke is very confused?

But there’s no time for that, as Padme and Leia run in and tell them the Imperials found them, did you get him? Yes, oh, good, and now with the running???

In which they do the running to a familiar ship Luke knows well, and also a few others he likewise knows, and anyway.

They escape just in time because an Imperial fleet was looking for them, and anyway.

Luke is super confused, but that’s okay because exposition time in which he finds out all those seeds he planted worked.

Palpatine was exposed, but didn’t matter because he had contingency plans, you know?

Order 66 never went into effect because someone - Obi-wan was prompted to go back to Kamino and ask after the clones, any...special features that may have been added and anyway.

Palpatine never got his clone army, but he made up for it with battle droids and conscripts and the Empire didn’t win? But neither did the Alliance.

Not yet, anyway, and they’ve been fighting for years at that point. No Death Star - at least not a completed one - and anyway, yes.

Alderaan’s still there, Leia doesn’t have to pretend she can see it in the night sky, and anyway.

A lot has changed but so much is still the same, and everyone, okay, everyone thinks Luke an idiot.

(They’re also not surprised by that, because Skywalker, but yes.)

This whole thing of Luke’s original memories clashing with this new timeline - he keeps his old ones, but it makes for a confusing time, you know? Some point where Luke gets this faraway look and turns to someone - maybe they were dead in that original timeline - and tells them how different everything is.

If they’re feeling brave enough, and honestly most people in Luke’s life are that brave, they ask what he was thinking about to get that look on his face and he’ll tell them about terrible future that didn’t come to pass.

One he feels a little guilty for missing sometimes because those other versions of the people he knew, loved, are gone and he’s the only one who remembers them? But then he’ll see one of them, or someone who was dead in that other timeline and realizes it’s not as simple as that.

Looks at the life he knew before and the one he’s learning now and can’t decide if what he did was the right thing?

But then he’ll catch his parents on a balcony somewhere lost in on another’s eyes and these soft smiles and the love between them that’s grown over the years. Or see Obi-Wan walking about with Cody, and soft smiles and quiet laughter and hundred dozen little moments like that and thinks, selfishly, he doesn’t truly regret it if these people he’s come to love get something like that, you know?

And, then, of course, then Din finds him, or maybe Luke goes back to their quarters on whatever ship or base they’re at then, and he’ll be waiting for him.

They were on the cusp of something when Luke got thrown back in time, but things changed once he got back.

Slow, awkward, because different timelines and experiences, but something new and good, and anyway, anyway.

Din’s there and Luke is being a little (lot) selfish in wanting to keep whatever the two of them are building between them, and Din seems to want the same, and anyway.

Yes????

[mixedracefairy]

A Reylocentric review of Episode IX

*HELLA SPOILERS*

DON'T READ IF YOU'VE NOT SEEN STAR WARS: THE RISE OF SKYWALKER!

(I'm from London get used to the slang)

I liked:

• I just liked how one of many Snokes was in like a Matrix incubator, lit and mysterious idea - that Palpatine was behind the creation of Ben. Did he bun not being able to find Rey and then switch to Vader's line as I assume Ben wasn't hard to find? Had to use Snoke otherwise Final Order and resurgence would be revealed. Cool.

• Opening with Ren POV establishes him as a big man and dark don and Palpatine is butters like whatever you think of Ben/Ren all man can get behind hating on Palpy.

• The whole 'lads we best sort this out or we're totally fucked' plot - Palpatine is back with a surrender or be destroyed motive

• The promise of destiny to Ren if man ends Rey cos it makes them mortal enemies. However you sense he won't cos she's wifey but the dichotomy is bare hypey. (That sounds silly. It does however, best express my feelings to the situ.)

• Him chasing her all 'I am gonna turn you to the dark' - it's exciting that he has a desire for her, it's also exciting that she's like aight calm and carries on with her ting with the boiz

• Rey's vision - the potential in the force for her to rule with Kylo Ren and be dark side. Wild.

• Rey's heritage revealed - that she comes from a lineage of great power and great darkness. At first it was cool that she was a nobody and Ren like a prince because of the class contrast and their bond, but this reveal makes her almost greater than Ren, eligible to be empress. Literally the bottom to top. Lit.

• Moments of proximity, there's a momentum building, the bond between them and it's exciting to anticipate their presence together and what might come if it

• The duel of wills over the transporter, demonstrating equal power. (Luke saber 2.0)

• Her shock at her power, losing control/unawareness of might - Rey fearing her power and destiny. Rey also being how the Skywalker twins learn from their mistakes of not fearing (Ben's) power

• Their force bonds - moments where she outsmart him, him with the position in power searching for her on the ground but she's in his quarters. There's always been something hypey about the FO/Empire with their might vs RA/Resistance underdogs and our boiz winning, but never in a situation where they're bonded and he's literally searching for her to wifey.

• Lowkey role reversal cos he's tryna tell her who she is, albeit for his own purposes, and she's in denial and responds by attacking him. The 'I'm angry so I'm gonna hack at things with my lightsaber' is usually a Ren move.

• You can't tell if they want to kill each other, (cos you can tell they wanna fuuuh). Ren races at her with his speeder, she cuts off his wing; in their heated duel they let each other recover yet she seizes the opportunity to kill him. She then heals him as the occasion is a mutual mourning. Confessing wanting to take his hand, Ben's hand.

• The way Rey and Ren dance around each other, Rey flying off his star base. Man all like rah, bae swerved again.

• They did 3PO dirty! It's gucci tho for the Groot-esque bant.

• Ren's abandoning of the dark side moment was feeling keenly the loss of his mother, indicating he had a love for her and somewhere a desire to return to the light or a safety/relaxedness that his opposition was headed by her. Almost like he was protecting as much as seeming to destroy her cause. 

• It reminded him of how he lost his father by his hand, their love haunts him as somewhere he felt he belonged but was ashamed to return to because of Snoke (Palpatine's) corruption. Her death is a loss of hope for his sometime redemption or organising of the galaxy between those who backed the Resistance and First Order. 

• The memory of Han convinces Ben Leia's cause still lives if he decides to take it up, showing he did care for her and what she stood for. He just felt lost to it, hurt, unbelonging, bitter and abandoned by it. Yet he believed in himself and his destiny for greatness, (which you have to rate), so man was like dark side it is. (Wow, what a gangster.) 

• It's a bit like Leia's death freed him of the shame of wanting to be light because he needn't face their judgement, or more, the pain of their undeserved love and forgiveness.

• Lowkey Harry Potter vibes like when Harry's nemesis kills him but doesn't die but the horcrux part did. Han says "Kylo Ren is dead" after he is stabbed by his own saber - the pursuit of darkness that was destroying him has been killed (with compassion for Leia?)

• Leia's arc from episide IV has been lit. After her death, Poe feeling unqualified and Lando saying they all of them weren't ready, you deep how young, (what literally 17?), Leia since day has been taking initiative, being a leader. What a champion and woman all the galaxy has looked up to. And telling silly flyboys to put their cocks away, yet still she believed in and elevated Poe (who has learnt and developed).

• Force heal 1 was a nice indicator of her capability and just a nice touch of her approach of kindness to problem solving, like Leia to her flyboys - put your cocks away. Also dope how Finn prees it and backs her.

• What the hell was Finn going to tell Rey before they sank?

• Yo the way man ended Hux was lit! Pusssyyyy

• Ben's redemption, how he went after Rey to rescue/fight with her as Han's son.

Fresh 👏 garms

• The parallels of Ben and Rey both ditching their saber was cool. Not sure why, like they're both on the wavelength of 'fuck this shit' haha. Except Ben ditches his to step into his true self, what he was trying to do since day, and Rey ditches hers to deny herself. Good thing Luke was about to say who you are is what you make of yourself. A bit like the answerless mirror cave from VIII.

• I like old Luke. I like what a cynical c*nt he is hahaha

• Ben abandoned his saber as it represented Kylo Ren and darkness. Was it foolish to take just a blaster? Tbf he is the don with the force so maybe he thought he was gucci. Force swap was sick tho.

• Pretty cool that their force bond is so powerful it could renew Palpatine's power as it shows how precious it is. Also mad tragic that that is their downfall, they stood no chance against him. But surely if it could renew him it could end him? Two yung padawans couldn't really take on big man like Palpy so fair.

• There were some excellently convincing moments all round of loss of hope - 'they're done fuuucked' moments. Poe in his X wing, Rey staring into force lightning etc.

• Was it stupid that Ben went to Rey? It's obviously instinctive he ain't gonna snake bae now they're not opps. Without him there Palpatine never would have been renewed tho. Rey however remains pure and not a Sith, so did he come to protect her innocence? Fits in with the literary themes and tropes of fairytales that the whole idea of them comes from. 

• I mean if he hadn't come Rey would be Sith empress and really how bad would that be? She'd probably have Ben beside her thus fulfilling the vision she had. What Sith vows must she have taken in order to become empress, (to save the mandem obvs), because she could technically marry Ben who would rule in light and she in darkness. That would be badass af, an unwilling Sith empress.

• Rey's fulfilling of destiny, saving the galaxy etc. I mean obviously it's dope when a hero steps into her role. She chose, like Ren, to ignore her past but in this case for good (because she had the bravery to believe she was not isolated, she was loved, unlike Ben). 

• Her battle has been one of self worth and belonging and she believed she belonged to a Jedi family, worthy to have all Jedi behind her, despite her searching for a family to give her life meaning and finding the truth is literally the opposite of what might help her in this battle. She gave all her power/life for the galaxy.

• Ben gave his life for her, completing his redemption in a Christ-like ultimate love sacrifice. We also catch a first smile and oh me lawd it is my favourite thing in the whole three trilogies. That transfer of life, joy, love, kiss, death was just perfection. Po👏et👏ry. 

• Fuck man. She was his only joy. Raaah

• Also because she died for the galaxy, he died to give her life, it's like he took the L for the galaxy instead, but also allowing our young female protagonist from ends the glory and not the star prince with a bad white male privilege temper and climb to power.

• Leia didn't become one with the force til Ben was redeemed. That's deep. Was that why Ben turned? His scar is now healed, suggesting the betrayal of patricide and how that weakened him instead of making him Kylo Ren is mended by Rey. He's no longer split in two?

• What's the symbolism of giving her life by putting your hand there Ben? I see you Disney, you gotta keep it PG but I see you

• At the end, when she's asked what her name is, it would have been cool if she was like Rey Palpatine and I overcame the meaning of the name, I know who I am. But it was fitting, you could sense it - and the force ghosts what a touch - she was a Skywalker. Her fam have been Leia, Luke and Han, and her soulmate should they have been married would make her Skywalker too. Technically Rey Solo which also fits because it's the same reason Han chose the name cos man didn't know who they belonged to, except she's not alone, she belongs as a Skywalker.

• Obviously Rey and Ben raising little babies as heirs to the empire would have been dope but Ben's death atones for his atrocities as well as makes for poetic writing. 

• Rey returns to nothing, which is cool cos her parents obviously must have been eligible to be heirs to the empire and also chose to be nothing. So it's significant, not anticlimactic. It's humbling, which in the trope of heroes is radical.

• This is a statement that autocracies like the Final Order don't belong in the galaxy, but people power can take down star destroying fleets. (Shame about UK politics not being people power taking down hope destroying elites but ok.)

• Oi what does that gold lightsaber mean? It's cool still.

• Leia and Luke, like Rey, show a natural instinct for the light, as if to say humans are naturally loving without influence of darkness. (Ffs Darth Sidious)

• Both Rey and Ben have the same dark then light genealogy. Rey actively seeks out the light (VIII) and is denied it and genuinely fears her potential for darkness eventually. Ben is moulded to darkness despite his natural light. When they face big man Darth Sidious they're both at a point of comfort in their identities, they both believe they have a right to the light side because of who they are and the choice they are making.

• What's the new mask phase all about?

• Ben's arc is dope - you meet Kylo Ren and he's scary and powerful, then lol at mask off moment, you're a likkle yout! Then find he desperately wants to prove himself and becomes a vulnerable manchild, his act of patricide fostering a softer side which we connect to through Rey, taking leadership and then throwing that in the trash to be, like Rey, a nobody. It's like reverse Vader, also because instead of unwittingly killing his missus he wittingly gives his life for her.

• Lit trilogy 👏 bun the haters. Them man don't understand 😙👌

[stonefreeak]

I just found your Chancellor Kenobi verse and I love it. Especially how Obi-wan and Anakin are fixing their relationship while Palpatine keeps trying to tear it apart. Howewver, I can't help but wonder how Anakin, Ahsoka, Cody, Rex, and the 501st and the 212th Battalions will react when they hear about the bombing of the Senate.

Anonymous said:Please I must know how Anakin reacted to being told about Obi-Wan I love this story so much

HERE WE GO! Here we go! I’ve done edits and research, and tried hard and I sure as fuck hope that my portrayal of a panic attack is okay, and respectful. If I’ve fucked up, just let me know and I’ll do my best to fix it!

Thanks to @dendral for helping me look it over!

I could likely have filed even more on it, but at some point you kinda need to stop. Also, my birthday’s coming up and I don’t want to stress about this too when it hits, hahaha.

So here we go, anons, and everyone else! Anakin gets the news!

WARNING: a character has a panic attack, so descriptions thereof will be found within. Said character also has trouble breathing. 

“General Skywalker, we have an incoming transmission from Coruscant,” Rex says, standing straight and with his arms crossed behind his back—stiff and formal. Anakin’s eyes narrow; that kind of posture generally means a transmission from the Council…

There’s a churning in the pit of Anakin’s stomach and he still feels the echoes of the Force screaming. He’s tried not to think about it, but now he can’t help the thought that keeps spinning in his mind: has something happened?

“I’ll come immediately, Captain.” He nods to Rex and turns to his Padawan. “Ahsoka, you take over the attack-coordination. I should be back soon.”

“Yes, Master,” she says and nods in return before she turns back to the holomaps of the star system and closest planets.

Anakin sets a fast pace toward the communication centre, but Rex, as always, keeps up.

“Rex, who can I expect?” Might as well have as much information as possible before he takes the comm. Preparation is key, as Obi-Wan likes to say.

“It’s General Windu, Sir. From how he looked it appears to be both very urgent and extremely important.”

Anakin blinks, and his stomach drops. Well, that doesn’t sound good. Master Windu being wound up enough to not be the picture of—sometimes grumpy—stoicism? Something must be very wrong. Could it actually be something to do with the Force crying out?

The walk to the communication hub isn’t long and it barely takes them a minute to get there. The door slides open and Anakin immediately sees Master Windu’s holo, arms crossed and with a grave expression on his face; there seems to be an almost grim edge to his facial expression that Anakin has very rarely seen before—and only in the most serious situations.

“Master Windu, I came as fast as I could,” Anakin says with a nod as soon as he steps within holocam range. “Captain Rex said it was urgent.” He tilts his head slightly towards Rex on his right.

“Knight Skywalker,” Master Windu says, inclining his head. “The Captain is correct. We could not delay this comm and risk you hearing these news from any other source.”

Anakin’s stomach drops further. That… that can’t be good at all.

“Has something happened?” Anakin crosses his arms behind his back to make sure Master Windu can’t see the way his fingers clench on his arms, a nervous tic.

Master Windu’s eyes close and he nods. “Several bombs went off in the office of Senator Biwa of the moon Illi-hian.” He looks, if possible, even grimmer.

“There was an attack on the Senate? When—” Before Anakin can continue, Master Windu cuts him off—swiftly, but not rudely.

“It happen just about one standard hour ago. So far, the only confirmed casualties are Senator Biwa himself and Senator Himesh of Cyllian III, beyond them, six people were injured. However…” Master Windu pauses briefly—Anakin’s thoughts are already running wild. What about Padmé? Is she safe? Has she been hurt? And what about Obi-Wan? He’s there too, is he safe?

Master Windu seems to almost steel himself. “Master Kenobi—Obi-Wan—was in that office,” he says softly, gently.

Anakin’s thoughts grind to a halt. What?

No. No, he can’t have… he can’t be—! Only two confirmed casualties, neither of them Obi-Wan, he reminds himself.

“Is he… is he okay?” Anakin tries to keep the urgency out of his voice, tries to keep calm, but he can feel his heartbeat pick up. Obi-Wan is on Coruscant, he should be safe there.

“His condition is critical.” Master Windu’s words hits Anakin like a sledgehammer to the head. “The healers don’t know if he will make it or not yet, but they got to him quickly, thanks to the troopers he brought with him to the meeting.”

Breathe.

Breathe.

Anakin tries to keep it together, tries to remind himself to breathe, but it suddenly feels almost impossibly hard. He has to breathe. He has to calm down and breathe.

He gets jolted out of his fixating thoughts by Rex’s shoulder suddenly connecting with his, and he manages to draw a deep, shuddering breath in through his nose. He glances to his captain slightly, and nods his thanks. The panic is not gone, but it has abated slightly. He is not alone.

He quickly realises that Master Windu has been waiting—silent—while Anakin collected himself.

“What… what are my orders?” he chokes out. He wants to rush back to Coruscant immediately, he needs to be with Obi-Wan. He can’t lose him like this. He can’t. Not now.

But Obi-Wan… Obi-Wan would want him to at least ask what his orders are first. And what if they want him to investigate the attempt? And he fucks it up by rushing ahead and they never find out who did this? He can’t. He can’t.

“If you think you can keep your mind on the battle ahead of you without distraction, stay where you are and complete your mission. However, if you do not think you can do so, withdraw your troops and return to Coruscant. Either path is open to you.” Master Windu’s eyes open and stare into Anakin’s. “The only thing you absolutely may not do, is leave your troops behind and return to Coruscant alone.”

Is… is this a test?

“And… it’s… my choice?” If he returns to Coruscant, will he fail whatever test this is? Are they lying about what happened to test him? Is that what this is? Some form of test to see if he will let his attachments interfere with his missions? Palpatine has always said the Council doesn’t trust Anakin as they should…. have they decided to test him?

“The mission you’re on is not time sensitive enough that re-routing a different part of the army would be unfeasible. We would lose more if you fail because you pushed yourself than if you retreat and let someone else take over. Master Unduli and her troops are in a nearby system awaiting orders, moving them to your position would not cause a significant delay.”

Anakin nods slowly. That… that makes sense. But… What should he do? If Obi-Wan is… Is… Then Anakin should be there, shouldn’t he?

As if sensing Anakin’s hesitation, despite the incredible distance between them, Master Windu speaks up again, “You do not have to answer immediately. Take a few hours to gather your thoughts, and discuss the situation with your Padawan and Captain.” He pauses and sighs. “If there’s any change in the situation, we’ll get in contact with you again.”

Anakin nods mutely. Take time to think. Yes. Good.

“And… Anakin.” Master Windu’s tone is gentle, his face worried. “Consider your feelings and your state of mind carefully, but don’t forget to consider your Padawan’s situations as well.”

Anakin blinks. Breathes. Tries to remember the last time Master Windu called him by his first name.

The silence stretches, and Anakin realises with a twitch that Master Windu might be waiting for a vocal confirmation.

“I’ll get back to you within three hours, Master Windu,” he croaks and clears his throat. “May the Force be with you.”

Master Windu’s eyes look a million stars away. “May the Force be with us all, Knight Skywalker.”

His holo disappears, and Anakin stands there, staring where the hologram once was and tries to keep breathing.

Without Master Windu’s holo in front of him, Anakin finds himself anchorless. Obi-Wan might die. Anakin could lose him.

It’s not fair. He can’t lose Obi-Wan now. Not now when Anakin finally knows for sure that Obi-Wan cares, has always cared. If he didn’t know… he’d take it better. But now… now…

The air seems thick, hard to breathe. He recognises the feeling from another time he received news that turned everything upside down.

The sounds of the hub seem far away, or distorted, as if Anakin were underwater.

He clutches at his face and gasps for breath.

He feels uncountably vulnerable, with his back bare as it is. There’s no Obi-Wan to have his back, no Master to place a warm palm on his back and give a small smile. There’s no best friend-brother-father-everything to help him this time.

His back hits the wall, and he slides down to a sitting position.

He can’t breathe.

Obi-Wan isn’t here.

Obi-Wan can’t help.

Anakin can’t breathe.

~~~~

The news hit like a blaster bolt to the chest, and Rex can see his general’s face drain of blood and turn almost ashen. Rex keeps a close eye on him the rest of the holocall, but luckily he only needs to get his mind back to the present with a gentle shoulder nudge once.

Cody.

Rex grits his teeth and tries to keep calm, but his thoughts keep turning to his brother, his brother who had to leave his Jedi behind and go into the field alone… and now said Jedi might die. Cody will be devastated, he’ll blame himself…

Rex closes his eyes and breathes deeply. He wishes he could be there when Cody gets the news, if only to be a shoulder for him to lean on, a grounding familiar presence.

Rex has seen many brothers lose their Jedi over the course of this war, has seen them get crushed in a way Rex can’t really explain. It’s as if they see their Jedi’s death as their personal failure and crack like the dry earth under the heat of an unforgiving sun.

But there’s more than just Cody, that weighs on Rex’s mind. It’s the knowledge that General Kenobi’s state will have far spread consequences on the troops, not just in the 212th, but throughout the whole army, and on Rex’s own General and Commander.

If General Kenobi dies…

Rex doesn’t want to consider it.

Cody isn’t here. Rex cannot be there for his brother. But he can be there for his General and his Commander… And knowing his General, he will need it. If only as a calming influence to keep him from flying off the handle to go hunting for whoever planted those bombs.

The call ends, and Rex awaits orders. No doubt will General Skywalker leap into action, either to find the Commander to tell her the news or to tell Rex about his decision…

To Rex’s surprise, however, the General doesn’t move at first. Instead, he stands still, his hands slowly creeping up toward his face—until they clutch at it with a grip so harsh the skin around his fingers turn white—as his breathing grows heavy and ragged.

Rex watches as he staggers backwards until his back hits the wall of the command centre, and he slides down to the floor.

What in all the Core Worlds…?

Rex has seen this behaviour before, in some brothers who suddenly couldn’t cope with the battle field before. It has been whispered through the army, because telling someone other than clone medics is unthinkable. If the Kaminoans ever heard of it… Well… Those brothers would be considered defective, and that’s something no other trooper wants to even think about.

Rex moves slowly to his general’s side, unwilling to startle him. He glances around the room, but the command centre had been mostly empty before Rex took his post, and none of the brothers working are looking this way, so at least the General has some privacy.

“General. Is there anything I can do to help?” he says, speaking softly enough that the words shouldn’t carry across the room. Rex is pretty sure that the last thing General Skywalker needs is to be crowded right now.

General Skywalker shakes his head jerkily, almost as if he barely has control of the motion.

“Obi-Wan is… Obi-Wan is…” he gasps, breath hitching.

While Rex would have expected the news to hit hard, he hadn’t expected this. He’d expected his general’s anger to search for a fitting target. He’d expected his general’s fierce determination to search for whoever was responsible.

But he hadn’t expected a panic attack.

“Is there anything I can do, General?” Rex murmurs, deliberately keeping his face smooth to avoid wincing in sympathy for his general’s harsh, fitful breaths. Rex wishes Kix was here; the medic would probably know what to do, how to help.

“B-breathe,” the General gasps, one hand now clawing at his chest, the other still clutching at his face with a white-knuckled grip.

Breathe? Rex isn’t sure what that means. He can tell that the general’s breathing is harsh and erratic, that much is obvious, but in the context of if there’s something Rex can do for him…?

“Yes, General, I can see you’re having trouble breathing,” Rex says, creeping slightly closer to his General.

For a brief moment, Rex wishes the Commander was here. Maybe she would know what to do, and maybe she’s seen the General like this before—!

His train of thought is cut off as General Skywalker’s hand, the one that isn’t clutching at his face, reaches out and almost slaps against his chestplate in a movement so fast Rex’s eyes can’t track it. He looks down at the hand lying flat against his chest—fingers splayed—as it twitches slightly, before he looks back at General Skywalker.

However… he isn’t looking at Rex at all. In fact, his eyes seem fixed on his own hand. Rex frowns and makes an aborted attempt to scratch his head, deciding instead that perhaps it’s best if he remains still and exactly where he is.

The general’s breathing starts slowing down, and the whites around his eyes become less prominent. Slowly his fingers relax and stop gouging into his cheek.

That’s when it clicks. Rex looks down at the hand on his chest again, and the slight way it moves with Rex’s own breathing. Is the general using his hand as a focus to match his breathing to Rex’s own?

Deciding to test his theory, Rex allows his own breathing to slow and deepen—making the slight movement of his chestplate more pronounced. The general’s breathing patterns start to follow.

So that was what he was trying to ask of Rex when he said “breathe” before. He wanted to create a focus to help him calm his breathing—which makes Rex wonder if the General has previous experience with this… And why he hasn’t told Rex about it.

While he respects his general’s need for privacy, this is the kind of important information that could be the difference between life and death on a battlefield.

Rex purses his lips and decides he’ll talk to General Skywalker about it later. Right now, there are other things that require their immediate attention.

However, as soon as General Skywalker has calmed down and made his decision regarding the mission…

—

(Supreme Chancellor Obi-Wan Kenobi masterpost)