#and sometimes YOU MUST admit that you need help. and then ACTUALLY ACCEPT IT

[catsniffer420]

my least favourite genre of person is the type that complains about things going badly for them all the time, but they CLEARLY don’t accept help or advice when it’s offered, and always need to be right about Everything. like bro you dug yourself into this one. and almost all the other ones.

[sexsylexi]

Cold to the touch.

Wally West x reader

In the quiet morning hours of your apartment, Wally blinked awake, the world still blurry around him. A deep chill settled over his left side, unusual and unrelenting, reaching straight through his warmth like a ghost. It took him a second to register the sensation, but when he did, his brow furrowed. He, Wally West, was never cold. His metabolism ran so fast that he constantly radiated heat—even on the rare winter nights, he’d be the one walking around in short sleeves, perfectly comfortable. But right now, he was as cold as a block of ice.

The cause of his freezing predicament became clear as he turned his head. You were nestled against him, curled up under his arm, your face half-buried in the fabric of his T-shirt. He couldn’t help but smile softly, taking in how peaceful you looked in sleep. You always looked so put-together during the day, so focused and composed. But here, tangled in sheets and tangled in him, you were just... you.

But then his body reminded him of its complaint—his left side, the one pressed up against you, felt completely numb. He shifted his fingers experimentally, noticing how they felt almost stiff. It wasn’t uncomfortable, exactly; just startling. Wally knew that your powers had some side effects, like the constant chill to your skin, but this? This was new. A glance at the clock told him you’d been clinging to him for a while—long enough for the cold to overtake his warmth entirely.

Carefully, so as not to wake you, he brushed a thumb over your cheek. Icy as ever. He wondered if you knew just how cold you could get in sleep, when you let your guard down and let your power breathe. He kind of loved it, honestly, even if it was something you worried about sometimes. You always apologized for being "cold to the touch," but Wally secretly thought it was perfect; in a way, it was like the two of you completed each other. You’d even joke that his warmth kept you from freezing solid, but maybe... maybe he was the one who needed your coolness to slow him down, keep him grounded.

Wally chuckled softly to himself, not wanting to disturb you, but the sound rumbled through his chest and must have reached you because you stirred, your fingers twitching against his side as you woke. Your sleepy eyes fluttered open, and he caught that familiar flash of surprise in them as you registered him there.

“Morning, ice queen,” he whispered with a smirk, still teasing even half-frozen. You let out a little groan, burying your face back against his shoulder.

“Oh no,” you mumbled, voice muffled. “I did it again, didn’t I?”

“Maybe,” he admitted, grinning. “But I don't mind. It’s… kinda nice, actually. Refreshing, y’know? Like an ice bath.”

You gave him a skeptical look, though you couldn’t help the smile creeping onto your face. “Are you sure you’re okay? I know I get cold sometimes, but this… I feel like I just sucked all the heat out of you.”

“Well, I’m still here, right?” He laughed, reaching over to press a quick kiss to your forehead. “You can steal my heat any time you want. I’m serious. I don’t care how cold it gets—might take more than a little numbness to keep me away from you.”

You felt warmth spread through your chest at his words, though you tried to hide it. It was Wally’s way, always trying to make light of things. He had this easy, playful confidence about him, and his honesty was like nothing else you’d ever known. You’d had your reservations when you first started dating, wondering if he could really handle you—your powers, the risks, the way you always felt a little distant from the rest of the world. But Wally had never looked at you with anything but acceptance, treating your abilities like they were the most natural thing in the world.

“Alright, but if I freeze you solid, don’t say I didn’t warn you,” you teased back, running a cool fingertip along his jaw.

Wally shivered under your touch, though he never pulled away. “You’re lucky I like the cold.” He grinned. “Means I get to have you all to myself. You’re like my personal AC unit.”

You laughed, shaking your head. “Only you would see it that way.” But the truth was, you loved that about him—how he turned even your most daunting traits into something to appreciate, to admire. And as he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you back into his warmth, you settled into the comfort of it, letting yourself enjoy this rare moment when you could truly relax.

With Wally by your side, for once, you didn’t have to worry about holding back.

[antiquatedplumbobs]

Spring 1916

~an excerpt from Elsie Sewell's private diary~

Spring has arrived! The calendar has been saying it had been here for weeks, but today it really and truly made its presence known. The east field is awash with flowers and I simply had to stop and pick a bouquet, they had the sweetest scent and the most delicate yellow petals. Mamma was rather irritated that it made me a bit late coming home, but I can't very much see why. I was back with plenty of time to prepare supper (she had an Aide Society meeting) and the house smelled ever so sweet as I did. No one complained about my victual offerings either.

I am quite pleased to be done with the schoolhouse; sums and grammar were always ever so boring and pointless. It is ever so much better to spend the day with work that actually has to be done, rather than made up to torture us. I enjoy most housework, cooking and sewing in particular, but laundry... There's something about that specific task I have not yet resigned myself too.

I think we all have that particular chore that we dislike more than the others, though none of the adults will admit so to my face. Laundry is a necessary evil though, or we should all go around naked, as Adam and Eve did in the garden of Eden, and the climate her could never allow such an indulgence, so laundry we must do. 

It does feel good to be helping around the house more and take some of the burden off Mamma; I can't imagine how she did all this work on her own for years, it's quite a lot between the two of us. Despite my continued propensity to "dawdle" as Mamma puts it, she still sends me on all the errands, I think she likes having the house to herself just as much I like the walk into town. Sometimes Lydia accompanies me if her mother also needs something fetched.

The general store is the best store in town, it's filled floor to ceiling with everything you could ever need. Dottie's always mighty pleased to see us and if she's busy Mr. and Mrs. Greenfield are always so sweet to me. Sometimes Mr. Greenfield slips me penny candy in with my orders with a little wink.

Dottie, Lydia and I don't see each other as much as when we were in school, but now that we're older when we're finished with chores and housework we have so much more freedom to go on walks or sit down by the inlet. The sun hits the old dock down there in the afternoon and it's so pleasant, especially if there's a breeze coming off the water.

We chat about anything and everything; Dottie always has all the news of the town since she talks to just about everyone at the general store. Mamma says it's wrong to gossip, but she always says that after I've given her all the news. Lydia is such a hoot, she has the strongest opinions on everything and everyone. Just the other day she was informing (lecturing one might say) us on the proper etiquette for accepting a proposal; according to Mrs. Parr proper young ladies should never accept their first proposal, they must refuse and wait for the man to ask again, that's how she'll know he's serious and will make a good husband. Apparently she turned Mr. Parr down thrice. Dottie and I both thought that was completely silly. Mamma said yes to her first proposal and she seems quite content with her lot.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

next / previous / first

[heavencanbeaprisontoo]

The Other Shelby Girl

Platonic!Shelby Siblings x reader

Headcanon/Imagine for a second Shelby Sister. Explores dynamics with each sibling based on of the reader were their older or younger sibling.

Warnings: Fluff, angst, mentions of war, violence, period-typical sexism, over-protective sibling drama.

Arthur

Older Sister:

You are the third most respected woman in Arthur’s life, which is greater than it sounds. First was Mum, then Polly. To be succeeded only by Polly in Arthur Shelby’s eyes is precious. He’s always looked up to you, but didn’t always show it. After the war, Arthur would come to rely on you heavily for emotional support. There were nights he would come to your home and no be able to speak. Where he would seem to turn back into a little boy, crying into your shoulder as he begs you not to speak of this to the others. When Arthur met Linda, you were one of the few to be supportive. You are Arthur’s greatest advocate, but his pride and Tommy’s influence make it hard to help him. When you have a family of your own, it’ll only make things harder. You often feel like you have to take sides. Still, you do what you think is best.

Younger Sister:

Depending on just how young you are, Arthur might try to put on like he’s your Dad. Arthur doesn’t always know how to talk to you. You’re just a young woman, he doesn’t feel like he can talk to you the way he does with John or Tommy. He wants to tease you and pick on you as he would with Finn, but he can’t. The moment you hit out your bottom lip and look like your feelings got hurt, Arthur is a flustered mess of a guilty brother. You might resist his attempts at being fatherly, or welcome them. Regardless, you can see that Arthur just wants you to know he’s a safe space for you. Maybe if you ask him nice enough, he’ll teach you how to draw horses like he used to. No matter how old you get, Arthur is the brother that still sees you as a little girl.

Thomas

Older Sister:

Before the war, Tommy only saw you as someone who nagged at him. The meddling older sister warning him away from throwing curses at people and fighting with the cops. After the war, you became something far more delicate than that. You became something like his conscience. That pleading voice that begged for peace and forgiveness that grows fainter every year. As adults, you swear sometimes he hates you. The way he disregards you and keeps you at arm’s length. In actuality, he’s only trying to avoid the shame your hopeful gaze gives him. It was you who tried to get the brothers to hide from the draft. It was you who told him getting involved in London affairs would be dangerous. You who told him not to accept anything from the Russians. You were always right. Always good. He also feels he must protect you because you know him when he was soft and weak. Aside from Polly, you’re the last person who ever heard him laugh.

Younger Sister:

He lumps you in with Ada without really meaning to. You and Ada are both younger, and are both girls. As such, you both have similar problems that have his head aching and his trigger finger itching. Two pretty girls tend to attract a lot of scummy men. You’re both so stubborn about not needing anything from him, which is bloody absurd. Of course you need his help. Whatever money you’re making doing legitimate work isn’t going to be enough to keep you safe. You have never gone on a single date without someone Peaky Blinder watching you. Arthur tries to give advice like he’s your dad, and Tommy drops rules on you like he’s your dad. He has absolutely said the phrase, “And where are you going dressed like that?” Tommy will kill your ex-boyfriends if asked, he already knows why you want them dead and he agrees. The only thing he likes more than you accepting his help is hearing you admit he was right.

John

Older Sister:

He is the little brother who reads your diary and eats your food after being told not to. As a kid, John was Hell on legs. As an adult, John is still Hell on legs but with children. Growing up, you spent a lot of time picking John up from police stations and headmaster offices. John stresses you out like he’s being bloody paid for it. But, he loves you dearly and you forgive him more often than you should. John has called you “Mum,” as a joke many times but it’s not quite a lie. As an adult, he is far more respectful towards you. He is one to bow his head when you lecture him about fatherhood and how his drinking is going to harm his children. John respects you enough to take his cap off when he enters your home. However, he’ll still gobble down any treats you’ve left out in the kitchen and have the audacity to say, “What?!” When you shout at him for it.

Younger Sister:

John will not only read your diary and eat your snacks, but he will loudly announce your crush the moment he finds out. Any reluctance Arthur has about picking on you is nonexistent in John. He is a fully grown man who is unafraid to tease you with schoolyard chants in public spaces. Has walked into your room while you were reading just to slap something off of your desk and run. John has spent so long as the younger brother, he has to get his kicks where he can. That said, nobody better say anything rude to you. Ever. One time, a mate of his simply repeated a mean name he had called you and John slugged him for it. Nobody is allowed to annoy you but him. John is obnoxious in an almost biblical sense, but he is the one to see you cry and ask: “Who did that to you.”

Ada

Older Sister:

Yet another sibling to boss her around. Excellent! Ada is one who would resist you trying to take care of her. She doesn’t want to hear your advice! She doesn’t need it! Until her first heartbreak and then she’s sobbing on your bed waiting for you to come home. Ada hates to feel dependent on others, but she does trust you. There’s something special about having a sister. You understand each other in a way your brothers never will. The fear that builds as a man walks a few yards behind you out in the streets at night. How every romance has that bitter taste as you think about all that you’ll lose if you were to get married. Ada gets her best advice from you, but you’re also her security. You were probably the one to start taking her to the movie theater. It’s likely that Ada imitates you subconsciously. When you got your hair bobbed, so did Ada. When you started wearing heels, so did Ada. She denies it, but it’s obvious that she follows your lead.

Younger Sister:

Might be a sad thing to say, but Ada didn’t think much of you until she had Karl. You were just this clinging little sister that everyone thought she was supposed to take care of. All you did was follow her about town and put your nose where it didn’t belong. Tommy probably found out about her and Freddie through you. You don’t mean to be annoying, you’re just lonely. Ada couldn’t see that until she had a child and a home away from Small Heath. The dynamic flips hard when Ada comes back to Small Heath. Ada is all about leading you in “the right direction,” and is very serious about your education. She essentially begs Tommy to set aside money for you to go to university when you express interest. You want to be in with the Peaky Blinders, though. Oh, God. You’re in your rebellious phase and Ada wants to shake you till you forget all about jazz and pretty boys with guns. You both adore each other, but you butt heads over where your life is going and who should have a say in what direction it goes.

Finn

Older Sister:

Between you, Polly and Ada, he’s almost got a mother. As a young boy, Finn has actually called for you as his mother by accident. It makes sense. You were often left in charge of him. To Finn, you are all that he knows. It’s often left to you to make sure he goes to school and stays out of trouble. You’ve spent many afternoons arguing with his teachers to give him a second chance. Finn needs that, someone to stick up for him. That doesn’t mean he always likes it though. Finn wants to be a gangster, like his older brothers. You want him to do literally anything but that. When Tommy, Arthur, and John, pick on him too much you are the one to back Finn up. He used to like it… until he was roughly twelve. What used to be you coming to his rescue has become you inadvertently humiliating him. You try to back off, but Finn makes poor choices for himself which require you to come save him. Therefore, the cycle continues.

Younger Sister:

You are the only one beneath him in the Shelby Family Pecking Order, and he lives for it. When Finn has a bad day, he takes it out on you. Why not? It isn’t like he had anyone else he can push around and be the boss of. So, he’ll cut your dolls’ hair, call you names, and make fun of the things you like. But only if there’s other boys who can see him do it. When he goes too far and you cry, he has to answer to all of your siblings and Polly. Finn picks on you to soothe his own ego. When it’s just you and Finn, he’s very quiet. You two can spend hours not talking but be perfectly happy. Finn likes to turn on the radio and just sit, listening to music or the results of a boxing match. Sometimes, he vents to you about how Tommy wouldn’t let him do this or do that. You always listen to him. Finn usually takes these quiet times to apologize for past pranks or insults. You always forgive him. It’s odd to you how your accepting of his apology seldom puts him in a better mood. Truth is, he’s very jealous of you.

[blond3ang3l]

Country boy dio! who only loves his sweetheart and their little family.

__________________________________________

Who convinced you to come live with him on the farm. He spends every day workin hard on it. Dealing with all the animals, workin in that hot sun all day. Harsh tan lines turning his once pale skin a golden bronze. His blonde hair slicked back into his mullet. Sweat sticking to his skin from the past four hours of him barreling hay to keep everything in pristine condition so you didn't have to worry about a thing.

It had been such a long time since he had left his piece of shit to rot in his loneliness. Once his dear mom had passed and things started to get bad between him and his dad he left and didn’t look bad. He started doing any work he could to get. He went from dealing to helpin in some different shops doing just about everything. Within the years he had fucked up and had four kids. He loved them even if he knew he didn’t have means to care for them. He did his damned best to make sure they had what they need before he had anything.

Shit was hard for a hot minute. That was he stumbled across an elderly couple who were saying how they needed to get rid of their old farm but had no one that even wanted to look at it. He couldn’t help but jump at the opportunity. It was hard for the first two years but him and the kids had somewhere warm to stay. He ended up confiding in Jonathan who felt like it was his duty to help Dio. He ended up talking to some friends and spread word around about Dio’s work and soon enough people were coming to him for just about everything. Business was booming all year round.

He never expected any kind of success, just wanting to make enough to get by but this was amazing to him. But he did have a problem, having four little boys was not easy. Especially when he went out to the city to restock on stuff. Ungalo and Rikiel were both over hyper and god it was hard to keep up. They would run around the store like they would back on the farm. Dio would always scold them but this time he couldn’t because he was as actually glad they did since that led him to meeting you.

He had noticed they ran away once again and when he saw them they were in your arms as you asked them where their parents where. He was shook by your looks. The way your clothes fit, huggin you nicely. The books you were once holding now pressed against his chest. He could see the dermal piercings on your chest peeking out your shirt. It was so new to him and god be moved it.

He snapped out of it when he saw the boys pointing at him and he had to rush over while still holding Giorno and Donatello.

“M’ so sorry bout that. These two given me hell.”

“Don’t worry bout it, I got siblings I know how it is. You and mama must have your hands full.”

“Nah s’ just me.”

“Oh shit, my bad hun. Didn’t mean to like be insensitive.”

“No no, don’t worry doll.”

You smiled a bit at the name as you handed off Ungalo and Rikiel to him.

“I’ll see you around I’m hoping?”

“Yeah, most definitely.”

———————————————————————

“Pa! S’ getting too hot out here. Come in the house!”

He turned around when he heard your voice. He put his pitchfork down and took in the sight of you standing on the porch. You looked so fucking good. Your curls were framing your face, your plump lips with a small frown due to you hating how the sun was beaming against you. Dio loved it though, seeing it bounce off your moisturized skin. And you of course weren’t by yourself no. You had his- you guys four little boys. Giorno on your hip, rikiel standing next to you and holding on your leg, and ungalo chasing Donatello all around the porch.

He wanted to marry you then and there. You accepted his four boys and raised them like you had given birth to them. And the boys loved you like no other. Often fighting with their papa to get your attention. Rikiel and Giorno were especially bad. They absolutely adored you. And dio hated to admit it but he sometimes grew jealous at how much you babied the boys.

He made his way over to you when he realized you were still callin out to him. A small smirk appearing on his face as he approached you.

“Miss me, doll?”

You didn’t even get to respond when Donatello and Ungalo tackled their father into a hug. They only 6 and 7 but they were damn big boys just like they daddy. He chuckled as he picked them up into his arms as if they weighed nothing.

“Y’ four bein good for ya mama/papa, huh?”

Rikiel was the first one to speak up, peeking from behind your legs.

“Ma/pa said you were gonna take us t’ the city! And that we were gonna see TiTi Erina and Uncle Jonny!”

Dio cocked an eyebrow at this which caused you to explain.

“Erina called earlier while I was cookin. It’s lil Lisa Lisa’s birthday tomorrow. Wan’ take the boys to see their cousin. Plus I could do some shoppin while we’re out there. Get the boys some new clothes. Same f’ myself. Like to look good f’ my man.”

Dio couldn’t help but chuckle at your last comment. He also took notice at how his accent was starting to rub off on you.

“Yeah alright, guess m’ takin you four t’ the city after all.”

Amid the kids cheering Dio had leaned down to plant a kiss on your glossy lips. But the kiss was cut short when a tiny hand tugged at Dio’s hair. It was none other than his youngest boy Giorno. The mini version of him, they were so alike even though he was only a mere two years old.

“Y’ lil brat, can’t hog ‘em all to y’self.”

He was only met with babbles from Giorno which made you chuckle.

“Protective jus’ like his daddy.”

“Hmph. Guess he is.”

His smile grew on his face as he watched you usher the boys into the house. God he loved you more than life itself…

Part 2 coming soon!

[wildrangers]

Oh Captain, My Captain // Quinn Hughes

Word Count: 3.8K

Summary: Quinn's captaincy finally pushed me to write this story, which I've been thinking about forever but never actually nailed down. I just love neighbor stories. Hope y'all enjoy!

Warnings: resolved angst (shocking, I know), mention of cheating (not Quinn), cursing

You knew that trying to get everything into your apartment in one-go was a bad idea. Now, you were struggling with your suitcases, backpack, and couple of boxes while fighting with your front door key. You blew out a breath, grateful for the coolness of the Vancouver air coming through the hallway windows.

“Can I give you a hand?” you heard a tentative voice ask from down the hall. You glanced over to see a dark-haired boy watching with a worried face.

“I don’t want to trouble you, I’ll figure it out” you responded, embarrassment flooding your system at how ridiculous you must look.

“You’re not bothering me, I offered” he replied making his way to your side. “Now, can I please take this box before you drop it?”

You chuckled at his comment, nodding your assent, “Thanks, I really appreciate it. I’m Y/N, by the way” you said, finally unlocking your front door.

“Quinn. Where do you want me to put this?”

You quickly led him inside, pointing down the hall to your bedroom. He set it down and returned to grab another box. “It’s really okay, I’ve got it from here.”

He paused in the doorway and scanned your frame, taking in what you assumed to be your now tangled hair, smeared makeup, and exhaustion, before shaking his head and grabbing a box. “I would worry about this all night, where does this one go?”

You sighed, finally accepting he wouldn’t be leaving until everything was in your new apartment, “Ummm that one’s the kitchen, I think.”

He nodded and you two fell into easy silence as the rest of your belongings made their way to their assigned rooms. By the end of it, you were annoyed to see that Quinn hadn’t broken a sweat while you felt like a drowned rat.

“How did you even manage to get all this into the elevator?” he asked, gratefully accepting the glass of water you offered him.

“I may have tipped the Uber driver 20 bucks to help me load it up” you admitted and he shook his head laughing quietly. “What?! I made the move alone and didn’t want to leave anything outside.”

“Fair enough. Where are you from?”

“Most recently LA but I figured if I’m up here half the time anyway, may as well try it out fulltime” you shrugged.

“You work in TV?” he questioned. Vancouver was known for having countless shows filming throughout the area at any given time, so it wasn’t a stretch he’d guessed your occupation correctly.

“Yup, I work as a script supervisor. I’m assuming you work in entertainment too?”

He nodded, gulping down the rest of his water before setting the glass back on your counter. “I’ll leave you to it, I’m two doors down on the left if you need anything.”

“Would you want to come over for dinner sometime soon? I want to thank you for helping me.”

“No thanks necessary, seriously.”

You shot him a look like the one he’d given you earlier which made him laugh and raise his hands in surrender, “Dinner sounds great.”

***

“Entertainment my ass” you mumbled to yourself angrily staring at your television screen. You were in-between shoots and were home more often than usual, leading you to mindlessly flip through channels for background noise before tidying up your place.  

Lo and behold, there was Quinn, giving a press conference about how overjoyed he was about becoming the new captain of the Vancouver Canucks. Quinn, who you’d been led to believe worked in the entertainment industry like you did. And while sports were technically part of the entertainment industry, he’d gone out of his way over the last year to ensure you didn’t realize the truth for some reason. Because, once the shock had processed, a quick Google search had provided more information than your friend ever had about his occupation.

You paused trying to process what you were feeling. On one hand, the joy and pride on his face was undeniable and you were happy for him. However, him seemingly misleading you for this long hurt. You sighed in frustration, glancing down at your phone to check the time, as you were expecting Quinn to come over later. As you contemplated what you’d say to him, your mind drifted to different moments you’d shared over the last year.

***

“I can’t believe you unpacked this quickly” Quinn commented, looking around your living room as you finished up in the kitchen.

“I sent my furniture ahead of me and packed minimally” you shrugged. “Most of my stuff is in storage in LA—once I’ve been here awhile, I’ll decide if I want to move everything here or head back.”

“What would make you go back?” he questioned, settling into a seat at the island.

“Mainly my boyfriend, Aaron” you sighed, thinking of your last conversation before your flight.

“He didn’t want to move with you?”

You shrugged, debating how much to share with someone who was basically a stranger. “We weren’t living together in LA so I thought it’d be a bad idea to move in together in an entirely new country where I wasn’t sure I wanted to be long-term anyway.”

He nodded thoughtfully as you set down the food, “This looks amazing, it’s been a while since I’ve had a home-cooked meal.”

“Not much of a cook or just the long hours?”

“Bit of both” he admitted before you both dug into the meal. Conversation flowed easily between you but, more importantly, the silences in-between felt comfortable. You’d always hated when people filled silences with meaningless fluff so you appreciated that he didn’t try to force conversation where it had naturally lulled.

 “Can I be honest with you?” you asked, drying the dishes Quinn had insisted on washing.

“I’d prefer it” he replied, turning to face you, noting the change in your tone.

“I’m worried Aaron and I aren’t going to last” you sighed thoughtfully. “He’d wanted to come with me and everything in me just screamed no at the suggestion. He said he understood but I don’t know how truthful he was.”

“Have you thought about why your gut said no?”

You reflected on his question as you put away the last of the silverware. “I don’t think he’s an overly forthright person. I don’t think he’s a compulsive liar or anything and I haven’t caught him doing anything, but you know when you just have that feeling someone’s hiding something? I have that all the time with him.”

“I’m sorry, that’s a shit way to feel in a relationship” he frowned slightly and you nodded your agreement. “Want to get some ice cream? That usually helps me when I’m trying to ignore my problems.”

***

Since then, dinner and ice cream had become your tradition. Because of your schedules, dinner may be at 11PM but it was refreshing to have a friend where that wasn’t an issue—hell, it was preferred by him sometimes. During that time, you’d fostered what you thought was a close friendship. But now, as you nervously waited for your doorbell to ring, you were desperately trying to figure out how you’d missed this piece of knowledge about him.

You hadn’t cared how he consistently changed the topic whenever you asked about his work. You’d just assumed he didn’t want to think about it off the clock and stopped inquiring. You had never paused to think he was hiding something. You were pulled from your thoughts by Quinn’s knock at the door. You took a deep breath before getting up to answer it.

“Y/N, hey! How was your day?”

“Uneventful, how about yours?” you asked, willing him to tell you the truth.

“Good, good” he replied, fidgeting with his hands. “Did you still want to hang tonight?”

You realized you hadn’t let him in the door, instead blocking his way with your frame when you normally dragged him in with a hug.

“I guess that’s up to you, captain” you replied, holding his gaze. The color left his face as he processed your words and took in your stony expression.

“Y/N, I…” he began but couldn’t finish. You nodded to yourself.

“I can assume today is a big day for you so I’m not going to get into just how upset I am. But really, Q? Misleading me? After seeing how much it hurt when Aaron did that to me?”

Guilt crossed his face, “I’m sorry, I just…”

You paused waiting for him to finish a thought but only silence met you. “Good night, Quinn.”

***

Quinn was still in shock moments after you’d gently closed the door in his face. If he was being honest, he deserved much worse. He ran his hands through his hair as he shuffled back to his place. Shit. He hadn’t even thought about how your split from Aaron would make his omissions even worse.

It had happened a couple months after you’d moved in. He’d been waiting for you to grab him on your way out the door for ice cream but your agreed upon time came and went. He’d worriedly made his way to your door after you failed to answer multiple texts and calls.

His stomach dropped when your puffy eyes greeted him. “Oh shit, Quinny, I’m sorry.”

Before he could tell you not to worry about it, more tears fell from your eyes. “Y/N, what’s wrong?” he asked, gently guiding you backwards into your apartment so he could close the door for privacy.

“Aaron and I broke up” you mumbled through your tears and he pulled you into a hug. He rubbed what he hoped were soothing circles on your back as your sniffles filled the room. It killed him to feel your shoulders shaking against his chest.

“Shhh, I’ve got you” he murmured a few times before you quieted against him. He moved a strand of hair out of your eyes when you pulled away from him. “What happened?”

“Well, I guess he resented that I didn’t want him to move here with me. And instead of just telling me that, he decided to start sleeping with someone else. The someone else he’d apparently already slept with fairly early on in our relationship before calling it off with her.”

“Holy shit, Y/N” he sighed, pulling you to him again. “I’m so sorry, what an asshole.”

“No, I should have noticed how much the move upset him or just let him come with me, I mean—”

“Don’t you dare” he said sternly. “You are not responsible for him being dishonest with you. And you were right to follow your gut and do this on your own—imagine learning he’d cheated on you while living together here? Or never finding out? Jesus Christ.”

A long silence filled the space as you processed what he said. “You’re right, this just sucks.”

“Would your favorite ice cream help?”

“I don’t feel up to going out right now, Q.”

“Let me get it for you. It’s nearly December in Vancouver, I think the cone will be okay for a few blocks” he pointed out and was relieved when it earned him a laugh and a nod. “You hang tight and I’ll be back soon.”

***

While you knew Quinn’s lies weren’t close to Aaron’s, it was pouring salt on the wound in a way that made you wildly upset. When Aaron had betrayed you, Quinn had been there to remind you with his presence and support that not all guys were like Aaron. That there were good men left and you shouldn’t settle for some asshole.

But for Quinn to have been hiding something this whole time? It hurt double—once for his deceit and twice for ripping open the Aaron scar. You’d spent most of last night moping but this morning when you awoke, that sadness had blessedly shifted into anger. Who the hell did he think he was? Had he seriously introduced you to his friends while they all knew you were being lied to? They must have known or else someone would have slipped up. And also, what the fuck? What a stupid thing to be lie about.

You were deep in one of these rage spirals when a knock rang out through your apartment. You threw the door open to see a nervous Quinn.

“Can I come in?”

Your only response was to open the door and make your way to the couch. A few seconds later, Quinn was seated across from you, seemingly willing you speak first with his eyes. But you’d be damned if you filled this silence, even if the discomfort between you stung.

“Y/N, I am so sorry.” You met his eyes and could see his sincerity but it wasn’t enough.

“Why would you purposefully mislead me about something so inconsequential?”

“Inconsequential? This is not unimportant.”

“Why would I give a fuck about you playing hockey? I literally work with famous people all the time and couldn’t give a shit!”

“It wasn’t that I thought you’d care, it was that I’d finally met someone in this city who didn’t know who I was before even meeting me.”

“What do you mean?”

He looked at you incredulously. “I know you’re not Canadian but you seriously never noticed how hockey obsessed this city is? How there’s Canucks shit everywhere?”

“I mean, I guess I never really thought about it and I still don’t understand why that’s a good reason to lie to me for the last year.”

“I’m not saying it was a good reason, I know I fucked up, okay?” his voice grew louder which made you raise an eyebrow at him. “Look, if you never want to talk to me again, I get it, okay? But please, just ask Petey or Brock what it’s like meeting people in this city so you can understand where I’m coming from.”

You scoffed, “You really think a good way to apologize and ‘make me understand’ is to remind me how all the mutual friends I met through you knew the entire time and just went along with it? That’s so fucking embarrassing! Everyone in on the joke but me.”

“This is not a joke, Y/N! God, all I wanted to do yesterday was share that moment with you. To have you in the crowd or at least be able to celebrate with you when I got home. And I know it’s my fault I couldn’t do that but fuck, it still sucked. And I didn’t know how to fix it. How do you say to someone ‘Hey I told what I thought was a white lie a year ago but I ended up falling in love with you along the way and now I don’t know how to own up to it?’”

His words hung heavy in the air but you had no idea how to respond. You had never allowed yourself to fully acknowledge that ever since New Year’s, your relationship had slowly been shifting from platonic to something more—because you hadn’t wanted to lose him. Now, you were losing him just as you were realizing he felt the same way. You shook your head before resting your face in your hands.

“Please say something” he begged softly.

“Q, I don’t know what to say. I can acknowledge in the grand scheme of life not being honest about what you do for a living isn’t earth shattering. But developing a relationship with someone over the course of a year, thinking you can trust that person because you know them inside and out, only to learn they were purposefully hiding something from you? Something that would have made absolutely no difference to you anyway? I don’t know how to respond to that.”

“Then tell me how to fix it.”

“Yesterday morning, I would have trusted you with my life. Now, I can’t listen to a word you say without thinking you’re lying. How do I know you’re being sincere about wishing you’d shared yesterday with me? About your feelings for me? You’re making me second guess everything when you were the one who helped me keep going after Aaron’s dishonesty.”

“I am not like Aaron.”

“No, Quinn, you’re not. Which is why this feels worse. Can you please just leave? I need time to process everything.”

You were grateful when he obliged and shut the door quietly behind him but it also broke your heart a little to watch him leave so easily.

***

 Your mind kept returning to Quinn’s New Year’s Eve party. You’d been single for a little over a month by then and were slowly starting to feel back to normal. While you enjoyed your time alone together, you were eager to meet Quinn’s friends and know more people in your new city. Petey loved movies so you two had been deep in conversation, really debate, about various films throughout the night. Brock had brought his dogs and you eagerly shared photos and stories of your family dogs back home with him. You hadn’t noticed that every time you asked someone how they knew Quinn, they replied with ‘work’ before quickly moving the conversation along.

What you had noticed was Quinn’s eyes on you all night. His hand on your lower back when he checked in on you throughout the party. How he had stocked up on your favorite snacks and drinks for the occasion. How as midnight approached, he moved closer and closer to you.

Until, as you all screamed the countdown from 10 to the New Year, he’d slipped his arm around your waist, pulling you into his side. How his dark blue eyes shone in the TV screen light when he turned to face you as the ball dropped. How he had grinned at you with such joy as he leaned down and placed the most delicate kiss to your cheek before whispering, “Happy New Year, Y/N, thanks for ringing it in with me.”

And you certainly had noticed the butterflies in your stomach at the thoughtful gesture, the sincerity of his words, and the intensity of his gaze as hope bloomed in your chest.

***

Could you stop by?

Quinn’s heart stopped when your message lit up his screen nearly a week after his captaincy announcement.

He’d quickly made his way to your door, following your voice that called him inside when he knocked. He found you in the kitchen, the early morning light hitting your face in a way that made his breath catch in his throat.

“Hey” he breathed out, unsure where to stand.

“Hi” you replied, smiling shyly. “I’m glad you could come over.”

“You are?”

“I am” you confirmed chuckling quietly. “I guess I’ll start…I want you to know that it still really hurts that you misled me. I understand that you didn’t do it maliciously but it still felt really shitty to find out about.”

“I know and I’m sorry, if I could do it differently, I would. How can I prove that to you?”

“Well, you can be grateful your friends care so much about you.”

“Wait, what?” he replied, confused.

“Brock texted me the other day. He ended up sending me a screenshot of the messages you’d sent him that morning. It was really sweet” you smiled to yourself, pulling out your phone. You showed him the text thread but he already knew what you were referring to:

Congrats, brother!!!

Thanks, man. Wish you were here to celebrate

Celebrate with Y/N….oh wait, you’re an idiot and can’t, never mind

I know. I really fucked up and don’t know what to do. How do you fix something you built on dishonesty?

You apologize and tell her before she finds out some other way. Did you lie to her about anything else?

Of course not

Then it wasn’t built on lies. Just own up to the small piece that was

“At least one of us has a brain, right?” he joked and smiled when you rolled your eyes at him.

“You have a brain, doofus, you just overthink things until you may as well not have one.”

He felt himself blush at your statement, taken aback by how well you know him.

“So, I knew at least one thing you said was true—you knew you’d fucked up and didn’t know what to do about it. And your final response proves that everything else was as real as it felt at the time. As real as it feels now.”

His eyes rose hopefully at your words. “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying if you lie to me again, even about what color your underwear is, I will fucking destroy you, got it?”

“Yes, got it, I swear” he replied, tentatively moving towards you. You opened your arms and he gratefully pulled you to his chest, smoothing your hair down and gripping your waist.

He was debating if he had the balls to try and kiss you when you mumbled, “Will you close your eyes?”

“Ummm sure?” he responded, lips quirking into a smile as he did as requested. He heard you retreat to the refrigerator followed by a plate settling on your kitchen island.

“Okay one more second…now open!”

 On the table was a white cake with dark blue, Canucks colored lettering that read ‘Congrats, Captain Quinn! Love, Me’

“I know we couldn’t celebrate when it happened but I figured better late than never?” His eyes shot up at the worried tilt to your voice. He noticed you were fidgeting with your fingers, a dead giveaway you were as nervous as he felt. He walked closer, taking your anxious hands in his own.

“Thank you, this is amazing. I don’t deserve it, or you” he said sincerely.

“Well, that’s not for you to decide, is it?” you smiled and he couldn’t have stopped himself from leaning towards you if he tried.

He cupped your face as his lips tentatively met your own. He was surprised you were as timid as he was, so used to you taking charge. He gripped your hip with his other hand, pulling you flush against him, which drew a breathy sigh from your mouth that opened gloriously for him. Your tongues gently twined together as he felt your hands tangle in his hair. The kiss was slow and sweet but filled with so much promise it made his chest hurt.

He pulled away to rest his forehead against yours, “I’ve wanted to do that for so long” he admitted.

“Me too” you agreed, pulling his mouth back down to yours. His hands were surer this time as they slipped beneath your shirt to rub your lower back. You matched his confidence with your own, gently biting his lower lip before pulling away. “But I also really want to eat that cake.”

Well, there it is my first Quinn story! I hope y'all enjoyed and I welcome feedback 💕 We are so close to hockey season y'all!!

P.S. Yes, I wrote this as Aaron Rodgers busted his ankle last night, oops, thanks for the name inspo, I guess lol

[macandcheese-inhaler]

Completely random but like, my friend keeps telling me he ACTUALLY likes my existence and it’s so eye opening. Without realizing, I got stuck in the mindset of “He must think it's like a chore to interact with me.” I think it’s just my old habits (self confidence issues and lack of a sense of self) baring their teeth for the first time in a hot minute, but it’s so hard for me to grasp the concept of “Hey, this person you like, likes and respects you too!”

There used to be a prominent running joke throughout my friend group where they’d often call me annoying, act like they could barely stand me, and/or make fun of me for being too “child-like”. (Which, I do have the energy and interests of a child, but my personality led to them viewing me as incapable and it got old quick. Basically they were infantilizing me.) It’s been about 2½ years since then and it’s a little crazy to think about how I still expect everyone to treat me like that. I’ve been scared to form new friendships b/c of how much that time affected me. I mean, apparently I’m still not entirely healed from it.

But, I’ve been friends with this guy for almost a year now. He has never ONCE suggested that he didn’t like me. Yet I’m still over here trying to convince myself that this guy cannot stand me?? In fact, I recently found out that he REALLY wanted to make sure we’d stay friends once summer break started. (Before that point we only ever spoke to each other in one of our classes) That is INASE to me. Like, wdym you enjoyed my presence enough to ACTIVELY plan out how you’d make sure we frequently spoke to each other? And even CRAZIER he’s told me he OFTEN looked forward to talking to me at school last year and said that I helped him get through the day. Like, WHAT?

He’ll even send me good morning texts sometimes and it's so reassuring. They’re practically just (unintentional) reminders saying “Hey remember, I think you’re cool!” I hope he knows I appreciate him so much. It’ll take me a long time to ever admit, but I hope he knows he’s made my life feel like it’s worth living again. He’s made me realize I’ve been simply coasting and not LIVING for too long. I hope he knows whenever I’m in a bad mood I’ll actively go out of my way to be in his presence just a little longer, even if it’s just 20 extra seconds, just b/c he’s comforting. I hope he knows how much every gift he gives me means to me, no matter how much I struggle to accept them. I hope he knows he gave me the final push I needed to finally accept my sexuality. I hope he knows how happy I am when he lets me yap about whatever I feel like at the time. I hope he knows I feel like I'm actually listened to whenever I'm speaking to him. It feels like I can be myself around him and not have to worry. And I’m almost certain I’ve weirded him out on several occasions, but in the end that does not matter. Those moments don’t change how he sees me. And I hope he knows how much that genuinely means to me.

[jinnie-ret]

ep.1: meet the wives

ratings: fluff

warnings: small mentions of ADHD, cancer, death, body size, cheating

running time: 1.5k words

summary: the brides to be gather and meet each other for their hen party, before they get married.

SKZ MAFS EPISODE LIST

MAIN MASTERLIST

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

"Hi!!! I'm Aurora, but most people call me Rori, I'm 25 and I've been single for 2 years," Aurora grinned toothily at the camera as she introduced herself.

"I joined this experiment because I just want to meet someone who makes me feel safe, you know?" her tone has shifted to more of a sad one, but from the way she presented herself you could tell she was good at hiding that side of her.

"I've definitely had some experiences before that have changed who I was as a person, and it's not a nice feeling at all, it's dreadful," Aurora admitted, hinting at something else that must have affected her, eyes unable to look into the camera anymore, or even the person asking the questions to her.

"These past 2 years I think I've really grown as a person, like massive personal growth. I've managed to come out of that time where things were darker, and I just want a husband that will help me see the lighter times too."

"I moved to South Korea from the UK not too long after my previous relationship, and I now work as a nurse! It's a really rewarding job, long hours, but so rewarding. I think it's important my husband cares about hard work too, and yeah."

"Yeah, my family thinks I'm absolutely insane for joining this process, of course they do!" Dallas giggled and covered her mouth as she threw her head back, just imagining and remembering the looks her family gave her when she told them she was going on a show where she'd be marrying a stranger.

"Hi, I'm Dallas! I'm only 21, but, I had been in a relationship for 5 years. I think obviously I've changed since I was a kid, I'm a woman now, and I think now that I'm a woman I need a man," she shrugged her shoulders lightly with a small smile, almost becoming shy at admitting what she wanted in a husband.

"Someone who... is quite calm in their nature, I'd say. Sometimes my brain feels too busy, I do have ADHD and that can sometimes be quite overwhelming. So I think I want someone that'll calm me down but also accept who I am, yeah," she explained as the camera panned to her knee jolting up and down from ner seat.

"For my job I actually have my own little flower shop, and I don't think I'd rather be doing anything else. Some people say to me it must get boring but there's so many stories with the people I meet and why they want to buy their flowers and-" she cut herself off.

"I'm rambling, aren't I? To put it simply, yeah it's a small business, but I love it. I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Hi, I'm Sienna! I've never had a boyfriend before, so, yes, coming onto a show where I'm going to have a husband, it's, umm, how you say? Crazy, haha. Why am I here? Haha," Sienna's Polish accent came through as she spoke, adding some charm to her.

"I just think... The male figures in my life are very important to me. I remember the day I was told my father had cancer, that was the day I learnt he was going to die from it..." she bravely admitted, eyes welling up with tears. The screen showed her grabbing a tissue.

"Sorry can I have a moment?" she sniffled, holding her hand up to block the view of her getting upset.

"He always told me to think with my heart, and I think that's something that will stick with me forever. I know he won't be there the day I get married, but I've got a part of him with me always," she spoke gently of her father's warm advice.

"I think I can come across as quite closed off, I am training to be a lawyer, so I feel like I have to look at things quite unbiased, but with love... I'm not sure how it will go. I think I just want someone who will accept me for me, you know?"

"This is 100% the right place for me to be. I want love, I need it. I'm done living my lonely girl era. I mean that era was a whole year but let me tell you it was a long year," Octavia admitted as she sheepishly shrugged her shoulders.

"I've been in and out of relationships a lot, and they've never really matched me. It always left me thinking, maybe I was too much for them to handle?"

"I just want someone cheeky who will match my humour, that's a big thing for me. Someone who is ambitious too, yeah that's important for me as well," she nodded, describing her ideal type.

"I'm a model, I travel quite a lot for different shoots or campaigns so I hope that my husband is someone who could handle that, and cope with my busy lifestyle."

"Hi, I'm Valentina! I'll say it how it is, plain and simple like that. I work in sales, it's not the most interesting job I'll be honest, but it pays the bills, haha," she laughed, tossing her over her shoulder and giving a 'help me' look to the camera jokingly.

"I just live for the Fridays where me and my girls can go to the bar at the end of a long day and do a bit of karaoke. I have been told I have quite a good voice, not to brag," Valentina smirked.

"What do I want in a husband? I need someone who can handle my fieriness, someone who will accept me for me."

"I think people look at me a certain way, I'm not a prude, but I want my fairytale. My parents have been together for 40 years now, they're so important to me. My family is my world. So, as ambitious as it may sound, I want to have my fairytale in this experiment."

"Hi, I'm Tanaka! All I know is old people, fish, and the sea. You don't get a lot of people my age near the village I live," she introduced herself.

"I'm from Japan but live near the beach in Uljin! I'm looking for love, and I don't quite know what that will look like yet but I need something to fill the void," there was a pause as she spoke seriously, before she chuckled and leant back into her chair, "too deep?"

"I work at an aquarium, people come in with their kids, it's definitely something I want one day... Even if I can't carry them myself."

"I want my husband to understand me I think, which will be hard because I don't fully understand myself. But maybe they'll bring a different side out of me? Who knows haha... I'm looking forward to it."

"I'm Taniyah! I need a man that can handle a big girl-" Taniyah gave a cute look to the camera and looked it up and down as if she was flirting with whoever was watching. The camera quickly cut.

"Is that too much?" she giggled heartily, her hand habitually resting on her chest as she did so.

"Guys I've been with in the past... They've only wanted to get with me because they're curious of what it's like to be with someone plus size... They almost, how you say it? Fetish? They don't care about who I really am, deep down. And that's been a huge problem for me my whole dating life, it's really held me back."

"I work as a therapist, mainly with teens, and I go into schools and talk to them and just really help get down to the roots of their problems."

"I think I want someone who is caring and a good listener, because they're things I strive to be too, so yeah, I need a man that'll match my energy. Just wait til he sees me in full glam too, the boy won't be able to keep his hands off of me!" Taniyah cheered, clicking her fingers.

"Korea is very different to India let me tell you that," Ishani said in wonder, before adding on quietly with a small smile, "I like it."

"I came onto this show because the last time I was in a relationship I got cheated on, very badly, and I want someone who I can rely on all the time. I don't even have to know what they're doing, I just need a trustworthy person to be my husband, because then I won't have to worry."

"I do work as a vet, so I get to see animals quite a lot. It really is my dream job, I feel so lucky. I trust the animals more than men sometimes I can't lie. They're better listeners!" Ishani's eyes lit up as she spoke passionately of her job.

"I think what I also want out of the experiment is personal growth too. I've kept myself to myself for far too long, and I want someone to help bring things out of me I didn't know were there."

watch next ep -->

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[share-the-light-stories]

I'm sorry, I didn't mean for this to be so long, got a little sentimental and started rambling, I think.

When I first played Sky, I didn't really know much about it, and wasn't aware of how interaction-based it was. I avoided other players like the plague, and while I admit I enjoyed having the freedom to explore the game for the first time completely freely, I kind of regret not making any friends.

I made my first friend in Eden. They were a moth like me, I had all the basic stuff and the Lookout Scout's horn, they had the Pointing Candlemaker's hair. We just happened to stumble into each other in the first area, and neither of us knew what we were doing. We didn't become friends right away, but we moved together and made sure we didn't leave each other behind.

Fast forward to stormlock. We're cowering behind a rock slightly too small to fit both of us, trying to recharge as we keep getting knocked back down. We're both roughly on 3-5 WL at this point. We aren't getting much further. Before we left, they offered me a candle, and I accepted. We got up to hugging. I think we were both kind of stalling. But eventually they take my hand and we make a charge for it. I didn't know at the time that Eden wasn't a place you were supposed to make it back from, but I was still proud of how far we made it.

We meet in orbit, running around and hugging, honking far too loudly as moths do. I don't know about them, but I was crying at that point. Orbit is beautiful, ok? After a while we walk through the rebirth gate hand in hand.

I think we must have spent half an hour just goofing off in Homespace before they started waving and bowing. We made our goodbyes and both logged off.

I haven't seen them online again after that. I've been playing for years now, but I still have them in my constellation, still in their moth clothes and Candlemaker's hair. I'm not sure if they knew there was more to do in the game once you had been to Eden.

We never unlocked chat. We never sat at a bench. Never went on a candle run. I never even gave them a proper name; the auto-gen named them 'Arotu', but I've never used it. But whenever someone mentions having friends in Sky, they're still one of the people I think about. I still check to see if they ever picked up the light I sent them through our constellation.

Sometimes I wonder who they were. Maybe if they'd stayed a little longer, maybe if we'd talked properly, we'd still be great friends. But I think that's a beautiful thing about Sky. I don't need to know them. That connection still mattered to me enough that I think of them years later. And it helped me to actually be open to friendships in Sky. In a way I owe a lot of the friends I have now to them. I think that's special.

Again, I'm sorry for rambling, I got a little too into the story I think! Thank you for making this blog, I love reading all these stories.

This is such s beautiful story! Even the smallest moments can mean something huge :)

[starry-nights-garden]

Wooyoung ✧ Blank Pages

✧ Ateez Wooyoung x gn!reader ✧ words: ~1.3k ✧ genre: fluff, comfort, some humor, Jung Wooyoung being the perfect human he is ✧ warnings: none, (mentions of him running his hand through reader's hair)

Desc.: Writing is your passion, but sometimes things in life happen that render you unable to do so, leaving you feeling quite depressed as a result. And sometimes you’re lucky that you have someone on your side who manages to distract you from all those bad feelings. 

You’re sitting at the desk in your room, fingertips tracing the paper of your notebook and following the lines filled with words in your handwriting. A bittersweet smile sits on your lips as you reread your own stories and poems, written mostly in black or blue ink. The very first pieces in this book must be well over a year old, while the last one was written probably a month ago. It was the last thing you’ve written, actually. Because ever since then you’ve been facing some heavy writer’s block, probably caused by the stress that some unlucky circumstances have been inflicting on you ever since around that time. You remember the way you felt like you had to squeeze the words out of your hands, in order for them to flow onto the paper, and the exhaustion that overcame you afterwards was new. Sure, writing requires some brain juice and energy, but usually it’s more of a content, rewarding feeling you get after you finish a piece. However, this time it was different, and ever since then you’ve found yourself unable to write more than a few words, and even those come with a disproportionate amount of exhaustion. 

Of course it makes you sad, though you’re trying to accept that you just need to be patient and wait for things to get better, so your mind will be less clouded and your heart won’t feel so heavy all the time. Still, you love writing, and the urge to write is growing stronger each day, even though everytime you sit down to actually do it, you run into the same walls you always do recently, and in the end you have to admit defeat against the empty paper. Caught up in your thoughts, you let out a long breath.

“Why are you sighing so much again?” A voice suddenly resounds behind you, followed by footsteps leading to where you’re sitting. You have been so sunken into your worries that you must not have heard your boyfriend, who has just placed one hand onto the backrest of your chair and is now peeking over your shoulder after entering your room. “You’re writing?” Wooyoung guesses, but he corrects himself as he quickly assesses the situation. “Trying to?”

“Just reading my old stuff,” you retort, followed by a bitter laugh. “I feel like even just picking up a pen these days requires way too much effort…” He remains silent for a while. You’ve talked about this with him before, so it’s not like you need to thoroughly explain how you feel or why you feel like that. You know he understands, and that there isn’t really anything he can say to help you with this. Still, he makes you look up at him by pressing a short kiss onto your temple, and you watch as he moves to the right side of the desk, crouching down not far from you. He puts his hands on the wooden surface, and between them his chin, resting his head there as he glances up at your face. 

“Once upon a time… write that!” he suddenly urges you on, shooting your pens a look, and then another one when you don’t immediately follow his instructions, this time with more emphasis. 

“What are you even trying to achieve…?” you ask, and though you can somehow imagine what the answer will be - and also that his plan isn’t going to work - you still can’t help but smile at the way he’s making an effort for your sake. 

“Just do what I say!!” he answers. “Trust me.” 

“Fine…” you mumble, reaching out for a random pen and turning to an empty page. A heavy sigh leaves your lips, but Wooyoung doesn’t let himself be bothered by you already losing faith.

“Once upon a time, there was a handsome- no, a super handsome!!! young man, who…” You cut him off.

“I’m not writing a story about you,” you complain, shooting him a half strict, half amused glance.

“Why would it be about me?!” an enraged Wooyoung throws back, and you raise your eyebrows at him.

“Oh, so you wouldn’t describe yourself as a super handsome young man?”

“No-. I-… fine, maybe it was supposed to be about me,” he eventually admits. “Can’t you write stories about your boyfriend once in a while?” he adds, whining.

“I already wrote a lot about you-”

“A few things!! And never the stuff I suggest!” he keeps complaining, the playful sparkle in his eyes only growing with each exchange of words between you two.

“Well, writing about a spaghetti-hero is ridiculous… what even is that supposed to be? I still don’t get it,” you laugh. “A superhero who cooks really delicious spaghetti? Or-”

“His beams are made of spaghetti! The ones he shoots - like this!” Wooyoung gets up, posing like spiderman when he’s about to shoot his spiderwebs at something, accompanied by sound effects produced by himself. “But also,” he leans against the desk now, “I was half asleep and kinda drunk when I said that. Don’t use the weird things I say!”

“Alright,” you answer. “But what you suggested right now is weird too.”

“Oh, you think it’s weird that you’re dating a super handsome guy?” He already has his next comeback ready, and though he’s trying to look offended, he can’t keep his face from forming a childlike grin any longer, which in turn makes you let out a short laugh too. Before you can respond, he suddenly points at you, exclaiming, “But it cheered you up, didn’t it?”

“I guess…” you say through a smile, before you set down the pen and get up to wrap your arms around his body. Even despite the happiness he sparked deep in your chest, your shoulders feel heavy, and you’re thankful when he returns the embrace and holds you close, so you don’t have to support your entire weight by yourself. “It’s okay,” you mumble with your face hidden in his chest. “I don’t have the capacities to write these days. I’ll just have to wait until things pass…” He brings one of his hands up to your head, combing his fingers through your hair carefully, before his lips meet your forehead. This time he drags the kiss out for a bit, letting his touch linger on your skin. 

“I know…” he says, and you can clearly tell the way he swallows a “but”. Instead of expressing how sorry he feels for you and how much he hates seeing you like this, he goes for words more helpful than that. “Let’s do something together then,” he suggests, taking a step to the side and putting one arm around your waist. “We can make dinner together, or watch something if you’re too tired for that.” To be quite honest with yourself, you’re too tired for either of those, but at the same time you know he has a million ways to cheer you up and to charge your exhausted batteries with some power, so you nod.

“Dinner sounds good,” you say, and he walks you out of your room, giving you a little push on the back in the process. Just from that gesture alone you feel fresh energy running through your veins, and you add, “What do you wanna make?”

“…Spaghetti?” Wooyoung suggests after thinking for a moment, and you laugh. 

“So long as you don’t do anything stupid with them…” As if that was his cue, he lets go of you and jumps a few steps back, pretending to shoot spaghetti-beams against the walls of your apartment. The ridiculous scene unfolding right in front of your eyes causes you to burst out laughing. 

“Like this?” he questions.

“Yes. Please don’t do that,” you plead, and he gives you a serious look, pretending to think for a while. Eventually, he seems to have reached a conclusion as his expression returns to a playful smile and he grabs your hand.

“Alright. But only if I get a kiss!” he demands, and you have to chuckle once again.

“I think that can be arranged,” you mumble in response as you reach out to put your arms around his shoulders, and you draw closer to him. 

[ghostofskywalker]

Call It Even - 2

Crosshair/Fem!Reader

Words: 2,703

Summary: Instead of returning to the Empire after the destruction of Kamino, Crosshair reunites with his brothers and sister on the Havoc Marauder. But there’s a new member of the team that he wasn’t expecting, and the two of you don’t see eye to eye, so why is he so fixated on the fact that you got along so well with everyone else?

Note: this marks the end of this little series! i hope you've enjoyed it :)

Clone Troopers Masterlist

In the days following your conversation in the cockpit, Crosshair expected things between you and him to not change too much. Yeah, you had agreed to not argue, but he didn’t expect you to ever seek him out or act in any way but tiredly cordial around him when you came into contact with him. But that was apparently not the case, and he didn’t know how to feel about it.

Instead of glaring at him when he stepped in to make a cup of caf after he woke up, you smiled and wished him a good morning. You didn’t bat an eye when Wrecker invited him to sit with you two at breakfast one day, and something tugged at his heartstrings, leading him to actually accept his brother’s offer. What you said that night had rung true, you weren’t his best friend, but you also didn’t treat him like an outsider either, and sometimes he wondered whether or not he deserved that kindness from you, after all that he’s done.

One thing that hadn’t changed since your conversation was the strange feeling in his stomach whenever he remembered your sleeping situation. It had to be jealousy, there was no other way to describe how he reacted, but he didn’t understand it and he couldn’t even admit his feelings to himself, let alone his brothers. He had never been good at expressing his feelings, and he knew that he couldn’t spring this on you at random, as you had just started to become friends with him, an out of the blue love confession (if that’s even what this feeling was) could send you running the other way.

He discreetly tried to figure out if you and Echo were anything more than teammates, or if you both just had a natural disposition to cuddling and a tendency to get cold while you slept. As far as he (or any other member of the team) was aware, there was nothing going on between you and the ARC trooper, which allowed Crosshair to feel a fleeting glimmer of hope, that maybe something good could come from all this. But as much as he tried to keep his feelings a secret, he obviously wasn’t doing a very good job at it, because Hunter approached him about it, not-so-subtly telling him that he should do something about the way he felt, no matter how much Crosshair denied those emotions.

They were on their way to a market to replenish rations, ship parts, and medical supplies, and Hunter organized the team very specifically to make sure that he and Crosshair were working together to get the medical supplies. Tech, Wrecker, and Omega were to get anything they might need for the ship, and you and Echo were on ration duty.

Hunter must have seen Crosshair’s expression as you and Echo walked off into the crowded market, because once they were out of earshot, he spoke his mind. “You really need to make a move or something.”

“What are you talking about?”

But not even his sullen glare was enough to stop Hunter from continuing with this line of conversation. “Her and Echo aren’t together, and I know you know that, so what’s stopping you from telling her how you feel?”

“I am not having this conversation with you right now,” he said. “I only asked if-”

“You said you wanted to make sure they weren’t up to any funny business while the rest of us were sleeping, but I don’t think that’s true,” Hunter said. “Because the combination of lovesickness and jealousy you look at her with is not helping your case.” Hunter made an exaggerated face, clearly parodying his brother while also trying to hold in his laughter.

“I don’t look like that,” Crosshair snapped. “And I don’t have any feelings for her, no matter what you seem to think you see.”

Thankfully, Hunter knew enough to drop the subject there. “Alright, I won’t bother you about this again. But just promise me that you’ll stop lying to yourself about how you feel, because it can’t be healthy.”

Of course it would have been a miracle had Crosshair listened to the advice of his brother, but it didn’t happen in this situation. Instead, he just kept his feelings in and glared at anyone who tried to broach the subject.

This was supposed to be a quick job, and in-and-out mission that scored them some extra cash and favor with Cid, but it seemed that things never turned out that way. What they had previously thought to be just a mining facility had actually turned out to be a weapons factory for the former separatist army, and some of the Super Battle Droids were still active.

You insisted on making sure you got what the team had come for, and it was what hurt you in the end. Package in your hand, you stopped to radio in to the rest of the batch when a blast from one of the battle droids caught you in the thigh, searing through the loose pants you wore and burning your skin. Two more blasts hit your back, singing your robes and it was clear to anyone that this was not something you could simply walk off.

Crosshair had to watch from his perch up high as you crumpled to the ground, and immediately he began to kick himself. Why hadn’t he seen that droid’s blaster before it was too late? What if you never recovered from this? He radioed to the rest of the team your position, and kept watch for any more droids as Wrecker gently picked you up and carried you away from the action.

By the time he made it back to the Havoc Marauder, Crosshair was in full worry mode. Part of him didn’t even understand his natural reaction to the situation: he had never felt this way about anyone else, so why was this so different? But there was another part of him that did understand, and it was the same part of him that agreed with what Hunter had told him a little while ago in that market. He knew how he felt about you, and he could no longer ignore it.

He had to stop himself from shoving Tech aside to see you, but Echo had made it very clear that no one was to bother him while he was patching up your wounds. Hunter was already in there to offer assistance, and so Crosshair was relegated to the cockpit, keeping the ship steady and bringing it into hyperspace as they set course hack to Ord Mantell. He could hear Wrecker and Omega talking quietly from the gunner’s nest, Wrecker clearly trying to console the young girl and tell her that everything would work out, and he found himself desperately wishing that you were okay and wanting to express his sorrow in the same way they were.

After what felt like forever, Hunter and Echo emerged from the makeshift medbay on the ship with positive news: you wounds had been treated with bacta and you were going to make a full recovery. Tech returned with them, taking control of the ship from Crosshair.

“She’s sleeping right now, but do you want to see her?” Hunter asked his brother quietly, as if it were some big secret how he felt. Crosshair didn’t trust himself to speak, so he just nodded and stepped away before Hunter or Echo could change their minds.

The makeshift medical bay was actually one of the bunks, with the curtains around it pulled to maintain some level of privacy. He gently pulled back on the linens and stepped closer to your bedside, eyes desperately searching your face for some reassurance, although it never came.

Your face, while not contorted in pain, was almost startlingly blank as you slept, turned on your side as to not crush the bandages on your back and legs. He wanted to reach out and take your hand, he wanted to offer comfort in any way he could, but he didn’t. It was like his body stopped working as he looked at you, and he hated the feeling of hopelessness and blame that he assigned himself after this happened.

And like anyone who doesn’t really know how to handle their feelings does, he immediately decided that he never wanted to experience that again, even if he was to deny himself the joy and positive aspects of love. And so as he stepped away from the bed and pulled the curtains to once again obscure your sleeping form from his view, he made a pact with himself to get over whatever he felt for you.

***

Getting over you turned out to be the same thing as avoiding you, and Crosshair hated it. But he hated that feeling of hopelessness even more, so he kept to it. Now, instead of eating breakfast with you and Wrecker each morning, he woke up earlier and ate. He found any excuse to be away from you, no matter how much it broke him to do so. His rifle had never looked cleaner and he was a frequent flier in the refresher, even if he just stood there and stared at himself for a few minutes before returning to the rest of the ship.

He didn’t think anyone had noticed his sudden change in routine, because every day on the ship went the same as always. You still ate breakfast with Wrecker, you still spent time with the others, and you still slept in the same bunk as Echo. That was still the most painful part of all this for Crosshair, because he accidentally allowed himself to imagine what it would be like if he was the one you cuddled up to every night. He didn’t realize how stupid he was being by acting like this, and it only served to hurt him more than if he actually admitted to you how he felt.

But apparently Crosshair had underestimated his brothers’ attentiveness to his feelings, because the next time they stopped to refuel, Hunter once again organized the team in a way that made it obvious that it was intentional.

Wrecker, Omega, and Hunter were in charge of getting more medical supplies, as many of them had been used while you were in recovery. Echo and Tech were looking for some hyper-specific part that would apparently make the ship run twice as smooth on half the fuel. Which meant that you and Crosshair were in charge of replenishing the ration supply.

Hunter had to have noticed the way Crosshair had shrunk back into the shadows after you were injured, and this had to be some half contrived way of his to try and get him to admit his feelings. But he didn’t say anything, instead shooting a private glare of disdain at his brother to communicate his feelings about the pairing.

The only sound between you and him was that of your boots hitting the ground as you walked around the market, and it seemed that you and Crosshair were almost goading each other to see which one would crack first.

The only exception was when you and him arrived at a stall selling small round fruits, and you turned to speak to the vendor. “Do these will hold up well in storage?” you asked. “I’m looking for something that travels well.”

The vendor smiled and started to tell you about the best way to keep his product for ensured freshness, and Crosshair just zoned out. The sound of your voice, although not exactly the same as he remembered, was bringing back all those uncomfortable feelings that he didn’t want to admit to himself.

It was love, he couldn’t ignore it anymore.

But how could he be in love with a Jedi? Would you even be allowed to return his feelings? He knew that just because the Jedi Temple was now a pile of crumbling ashes that was ruining the visual aesthetic of Coruscant’s top level, it didn’t mean that you were going to automatically forsake the way that you had lived your entire life.

You didn’t speak to him for the entire time that you shopped for rations together, other than the occasional question about his brothers’ preferences and whether or not he thought something was a good price. But as you and him were walking the dirt road back to the ship, you finally broke the silence. “Did I do something to hurt you?”

At first, the question threw him off guard. This was his issue, it had nothing to do with you. “What are you talking about?” he asked, not sure how else to respond, how else to explain his actions.

“I think you know,” you said, clearly not in the mood to dance around the issue. “I thought we had a truce.”

“We do.”

“Then why are you avoiding me?” you asked quietly, and he could hear the way your voice shook slightly, giving away how you really felt. “I thought we were getting closer, and then you started pulling away from me, and your brothers too. Wrecker asked me why you don’t eat breakfast with us anymore, and I didn’t know what to say, because I had no idea why. I didn’t expect to be your best friend, but I didn’t think I was that terrible to spend time with.”

The look on your face stopped him from speaking right away. Immediately, he regretted his actions because of the pain that they had brought you. And it had caused him pain too, he couldn’t ignore. “You’re not,” he responded.

“Then why have you been avoiding me?”

“Because after you got hurt, I blamed myself. I was up high, I should have seen that droid coming,” he said, the words falling out of his mouth before he could stop them. “And I���ve been having all these feelings that scared me so kriffing much, so I listened to my natural instincts and removed myself from the situation.”

There was a few moments of silence before you spoke in return, and you focused on the one part of his sentence that he didn’t want to admit to. “What do you mean you’ve been having feelings?”

“It doesn’t matter, you wouldn’t be able to return them anyway.”

He expected you to stare at him in shock, or drop the subject and suggest they return to the marauder, not take his hand in yours and lean in. When your lips made contact with his cheek, he instantly decided that he never wanted to forget how good it felt. “Crosshair,” you said quietly as he looked up from the ground and into your eyes. “I like you too, if that’s what you were implying.”

“But-”

“The Jedi Code was never something I followed completely,” you said, a soft smile on your face. “And I will always mourn the way of life that I lost when the Empire rose, but I don’t wish to hide my attachments anymore. Because when we started to grow closer, I felt myself falling for you.”

Crosshair couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “I think you had a lapse of judgment there.”

You leaned closer to him, and he leaned in too. “I don’t care what you think of yourself Crosshair, but you deserve love just as much as any other person.”

“I don’t-”

You squeezed his hand and glared at him. “You don’t get to make that call. And I know you don’t think I’m telling the truth right now, but I am. You are just as deserving of love as anyone else.”

“Can I kiss you?” he asked, lips hovering above yours but still too far away to feel anything. He didn’t care that they were in the middle of the road, or that any of his brothers could walk up at any moment and see them like this. All he cared about was you.

“Please,” your voice was quiet and slightly breathy, and he didn’t wait long to oblige.

Forget the feeling of you kissing his cheek, the feeling of your lips on his was a memory he never wanted to let go of, no matter what happened.

- the end - 

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[avenirdelight]

Making An Effort (Fix This)

Son Heungmin

She flies to London to surprise Sonny. They haven't been talking after an argument that they had, where he says that she doesn't make any efforts for their long-distance relationship. [Requested]

The busy streets of London looked merry like always. People were out in the evening and the city lights were beautiful. On a normal occasion, looking at this view through the car window would usually make her feel calm and warm. But it wasn’t the case tonight, knowing that with every passing second, she was getting closer to reuniting with Sonny.

This was an impulsive decision. Very impulsive of her. But when it comes to love, sometimes you need to do things that your normal-self would call crazy. Especially when you know that you could only pull back your relationship from the brink of its ending only if you do something.

She had taken a leave from work and had booked the earliest flight she could find to London. She had travelled far and flown hundreds of miles—she’d only had restless sleep on the plane—but she was still very determined to go straight to Spurs’ stadium. She wanted to see Sonny play. She was making an effort.

They were on halftime break when she arrived. Emily, Ben’s wife, welcomed her in the family lounge with a big hug. The first thing she said to Emily was expressions of gratitude for willing to help her tonight.

“You sure you don’t want to go back to our place before dinner? We can go now and still make it in time,” Emily asked her, looking worried because she actually did look like a total mess right now. She had tried to freshen up earlier but not even her best concealer could hide those tired eyes.

“No, I’m okay. I want to see him play,” she answered. “I probably should make sure that our reservation at the restaurant is really secured.”

“Okay. Do you want some tea? Let me make you a cup of tea, yeah?”

She smiled and nodded. “That would be lovely, Emily, thank you.” She felt Emily giving her shoulder a light squeeze as she left, leaving her to make a call and run over her plan for the surprise dinner tonight.

—

She and Sonny had had an argument before the world cup. But somehow they’d just put it aside because he needed to be focused for the big tournament. They had been barely talking since. Even after the tournament had ended, she hadn’t heard anything from him at all and she had been hesitant to reach out.

“If you still want this relationship, then you must understand that I can’t be the only one making efforts.”

She remembered his words from the argument. The long distance between them was always the biggest issue. Not long after their first anniversary, she’d accepted a job abroad so for the past year they’d been living in different countries, different time-zones.

At first it was fine. But after some miscommunications, unhonesty, and lack of communication that they’d never really resolve and sometimes not even acknowledge, it became not fine. The problems had all mounted up and both of them had ended up hurting each other.

But she had had more than enough time for herself to think—to figure out where and why the downfall happened, to understand herself, and try to put herself in Sonny's shoes. She had realised that he wasn’t wrong when he said she wasn’t really making an effort. She had found the courage to admit that she hadn’t been the best partner for him.

She still loved him. And this relationship was worth fighting for. Those were the conclusions she’d gotten from her sleepless nights where she pondered about everything. With the hope that he felt the same way, she went the extra mile to fly out to where he was and try to save their relationship, reminding her that she’d used to do these extra miles to win his heart, when things had been so much simpler between them.

A couple of days ago, she’d reached out to Emily and Ben to ask for a favour. To invite Sonny to eat out and she would surprise him there. The couple, being the kind people and good friends that they were—saying that they believed that every relationship would have rough bumps and that she and Sonny deserved a chance to fix everything up—agreed to help.

She arrived at the restaurant before Sonny and the couple. She waited in the private VIP room that she’d booked. She kept shifting uncomfortably in her chair and checking her watch once every two or three minutes. She was only going to meet her own boyfriend, yet she felt ridiculously uneasy and nervous. Mostly because she knew this could either go very right or very wrong.

After what felt like forever, her phone suddenly buzzed on the table, making her heart jump. It was a message from Emily.

We’re here

She quickly stood up and went over to the mirror, making sure she looked decent. She’d had time to change into a better pair of clothes and put on more makeup; she wanted to look pretty for Sonny. It reminded her of the old days, where she would do anything to look at least presentable, because she knew that Sonny was always in public’s eyes and she wanted to look like a good pair for him.

She sat back down just in time before the door opened. Emily and Ben entered the room. She put on a smile on her face, eyes searching for the figure she was dying to see, who entered the room last.

“Surprise!” She said when Sonny finally saw her.

He stopped in his tracks, mouth agape as he realised that he wasn’t hallucinating. She was, in fact, there. Ben was making some comments, but she couldn’t hear any of them because her heart was pounding in her ears. She just stared at her boyfriend that she hadn’t seen for months.

Sonny didn’t take his eyes off her as he approached her. His face was blank, she couldn’t really tell whether he was glad to see her or not. But when she stood up, he wasted no time in pulling her into a hug.

She let out the biggest sigh of relief when he wrapped his arms around her. His hug still felt so warm, so welcoming. And truly, there was no better feeling than being embraced by the person you long for the most.

—

The four of them sat down together for a while, catching up a bit about their lives. But then the couple decided to leave despite her insisting that they should stay. They said that she and Sonny should have the time and the room all for themselves, making up for the lost times.

“What’s… What’s all this?” Sonny asked a moment after Ben and Emily left them.

“It’s just me making an effort,” she answered. “I missed you and I really wanted to see you, so… Here I am. Are you mad?”

“No, it’s just a little bit confusing. Why– Why didn’t you just call me? Tell me that you’re coming here? Thank you for the surprise, it’s nice, but– I’m just confused…”

“I’m sorry,” she said with a timid voice. “I was just scared to see you. Our last fight was… Bad. I was worried if you were still mad at me. I didn’t even know if you wanted to see me...”

“You could just call me and ask.”

She shrugged. “I was scared to even ask.”

“I’m your boyfriend…” Sonny shook his head and ran his hand through his hair frustratingly. “I feel disappointed in myself now. I couldn’t make my own girlfriend comfortable enough to talk to me... It shouldn’t be that way, innit?”

She slightly shook her head as she dropped her gaze. “But it’s on me too. I shouldn’t be scared but I do, because… I was afraid that I’d ruin our relationship even more.”

She heard Sonny letting out a heavy sigh. The next thing he did was reach out for her hand—he held it and gave it light strokes with his thumb. She just stared at their linked hands. The corners of her lips perked up ever so slightly without her even realising, as she felt a bit of relief washing down on her.

“It’s my fault too… I’m sorry for every hurtful word that I said to you,” Sonny started. “Babe, look at me.” She raised her head up and met his gaze. Her heart clenched when she noticed the regret written all over his face. “I’m sorry for saying you don’t care about us anymore, that you don’t make any efforts for us. I was selfish. I asked you for attention and I blamed you because you didn’t give me the attention that I wanted. But I didn't try to understand that you’re struggling too.”

She nodded. “It’s understandable. When we weren’t speaking, I had enough time to reflect on everything,” she said, shifting her gaze between his eyes and their linked hands. “I got to live my dream, I got to be independent like I’ve always wanted, but I got too comfortable. I detached myself from you… And I’ve realised that it’s not right. It’s not what I want.”

“It’s okay…”

“It’s not okay, babe, I– I lied and hid things from you. I tried to make things easier for us, maybe mostly for me. I got tired and felt like it’s okay for you not to know some things. It was wrong. I’m sorry.”

Sonny let go of her hand and her heart dropped for a second. She watched on as he got up from his chair and walked around the table. When she realised what he was going to do, she got up too and a second later, she was wrapped around his arms.

She couldn’t hold back her sudden tears, they rolled down her cheeks, and eventually fell onto his shirt dampening it. It seemed like Sonny realised that she was crying because he started stroking her back and her head, also planting small kisses on the side of her head. He let her cry and she honestly appreciated it. All this time she’d been crying alone, it felt nice to be able to cry whilst being embraced by him again—just like how it used to be—and she could just finally let everything out.

After a while, Sonny loosened his arms and he searched for her face. He held her face and erased her tears with his fingers before he leaned down to place a gentle kiss on her forehead.

“Thank you for coming here, yeah? I really appreciate your effort. I love you, baby,” Sonny said with all sincerity. She couldn’t help to let out a sob, more tears fell from her eyes. “I’m sorry that our relationship became a mess but I know that I love you. Now let’s fix this. Me and you.”

“Together?”

“Yes. Together. I promise I will always be there for you this time.”

She softly nodded. “I love you too,” she whispered.

Sonny smiled as they gazed into each other’s eyes. She slowly felt like her chest was getting less and less heavy. They definitely still have so many things to talk about and obviously look for the solutions to fix their mess, but for now, she just wanted to be held by him and stare deep into his beautiful eyes.

They just needed to stay like that, reminding themselves why they loved each other, why this relationship was worth fighting for. This was just another hardship that they could overcome, because they believed that their love was stronger than they knew.

—

finally a sonny angst!! i revamped this fic THRICE, took longer than it should (i feel so bad😭). i made it too complicated, so i got very stressed out, but i think this is the best that i could come up with. i hope you liked it!

[son heungmin tag list: @smileytaa @delicateearthquakellama @luvelyxp @chicken-fifi @alotofrandomfangirling @natsuzoku @muglermami @landosmilkjug @koufaxx @charlesxavierenthusiast]

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[randomgentlefolk]

CPC CHAPTER 169

I swear I gotta put up a reminder or smth man I can't keep posting these posts just 2 hours before the new damn episode

(I must admit, making a review for this episode is kinda difficult)

ISOLDE TO THE RESCUE!! Also I just remember that Maria is still afraid (?) Of Isolde lmao XD

I was wondering where the old guard went :') the fact that he fell asleep during a WAR is honestly impressive though.

WAIT WAIT WAIT NO I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT LELAND BUT BLAINE???? BLAINE FELL??? But before I go to that I must say that plant holding Leland's leg is strong AF. What kinda root does it have...

The parallel of Frederick ripping his sleeves to cover Gwen's wound and then Gwen ripping Maria's blanket to save Leland.

WH. OHHHHHH. OH DAMN OH MAN. YOOOOOOOO. I DID NOT EXPECT THAT. Wait so I'm guessing here that Isolde forged Leland's signature? But when did she send that letter? Was it sent during the war? If yes then the process is really quick! It's just one day.

Honestly I'm so glad Isolde wrote that she's going to take the throne until her sons are ready because they CANNOT rule the whole damn kingdom right now with that mental state. And I honestly love the idea of all of them ruling the kingdom instead of just one of them.

WAIT WAIT WAIT This is what I'm getting but correct me if I'm wrong. I'm guessing Leland signed on the pastry catalogue and gave it back to isolde and that's how Isolde can forge his signature? That's actually really smart.

And she kinda bribed (more like raising their salary, really) the Parliament so they'd accept it right away!! Also by giving them more power! HAH And there's more power for Lavern lmaooo

Aaaannndddd the omniscient clam comment is literally just digging his own grave xd

HECK YEAH JERRY TO THE RESCUE!! FINALLY NAME REVEAL!!! Tho ngl I really thought the lemoncillo was for a molotov cocktail or smth XD

Syrah.............

WAIT DAMN ISOLDE HAS POWER OVER JUDGE, JURY, AND EXECUTIONER???? She really thought it through.

Damn...spoken like a true queen (and she IS a queen!). You go Isolde!!

Ooooh that sentence "what more did you want?".... Leland fr needed to hear that. I mean okay man I get it, your bestfriend said he doesn't need you behind your back and that hurts. Words can hurt like shit, I get it. But that does NOT mean you can just, declare a whole damn war. You can always, y'know, continue to live your life knowing there are people you SHOULD love and people who loves you. Also I gotta add that Jack was probably stressing the fuck out in that moment. His wife is literally dying, dude. There's a chance that he might say things that don't seem right because of impulsiveness. And y'know what if it really bothers you that much, COMMUNICATE. DAMNIT.

Did I say all of those right? I hope I did.

I gotta say I love Isolde even more now. That "off with his head" caught me off guard like I know sometimes we joke about that but I didn't actually think that would happen. Cpc is always about redemption and stuff after all. But now I'm genuinely wondering if Leland should actually be executioned. War, abuse, torture, those should get life sentence right?

So I'm guessing he's going to prison then? Fancy words sometimes gets me mixed up.

OH!! IT GLOWS BECAUSE OF HER KINDNESS, I'M ASSUMING? THAT'S AMAZING. Also the fact that she offered to help the man who just tried to kidnap her...We don't deserve Gwen fr.

So, uh...Blaine? Yeah where is he? I'm theorizing that the tent Nell moved will save him but he should still have some injuries. And the chances are he will break at least one bone. I don't think tents are that soft. But I'm willing to hope that he will be perfectly fine....physically.

Well that's all for now!

Mono out! (But still in to hear your thoughts)

[fizzyxcustard]

Personal Post (and apologies)

I'm going to post some personal feelings and thoughts here, so if you're not interested in that, then please skip.

First off, I want to apologise to anyone I've offended. Now, you might be wondering why I'm starting off with that statement of apology. The truth is that I've had a very bad couple of years mentally, and I'm not using this as an excuse for any bad/negative behaviour, but more for you to maybe understand my thought patterns. I know that I've come off as toxic to some people; I stand up and admit to that. I have. My behaviour has no doubt been hard to deal with, and because of this, I've lost friends. And it's mainly to those people I wish to apologise. Whether they'll actually see this post or not, I don't know, but I hope they will. And that goes for anyone else that I may have upset without realising. This post is calling myself out.

A lot of my negative behaviour has come from very destructive thought patterns, which revolve around never feeling good enough and not fitting in. I play the comparison game constantly, and to the point that I sometimes dread coming online to Tumblr. Because I know my mind will begin to churn and tell me that I'm not a good enough person, I'm not funny enough, talented enough...just not good enough in any way at all. And it's because of this that I've pushed people away from me because of the fear of rejection through my own comparisons to other people. These thoughts have even affected the way I see myself with my family, so it's not just online friends. It's in almost everything I do.

I wouldn't normally post anything this personal on Facebook, but on Tumblr I feel that my anonymity helps me to remain a bit more shadowed from criticism and harsh words. I can only think of a couple of people from Tumblr who I've met in person.

So this post is me apologising to anyone I've ever hurt, been cold with, been standoffish with, been snappy with. Again, I know that this isn't an excuse for negative behaviour and toxicity, but I'm trying to change my ways. Whenever I feel that wave of anxiety rip through me because the negative comments in my brain are becoming so loud, I now take a step back to recalibrate. I'm consciously giving my rational mind more room to step in and take control. I'll admit that it's fucking hard, but I am trying with every last ounce of my being to become a better person.

For a while I considered leaving Tumblr, but that would mean stepping away from doing the very thing I love, which is writing and sharing with you. But the need for external validation to feed my ego and turn down the deafening volume of the negative voice was getting too much. My rational mind has had to take the reins again and fight to be heard over all the commotion of self doubt. For some time I've even developed people-pleasing ways which has later led to resentment, and again, negative outbursts.

I know I need to work on this cripplingly low self-esteem, build myself up and also be completely authentic and not people please. Don't get me wrong, I do try and be as generous and kind as I can, but sometimes it's wound up compromising my own state of mind, and I must try and work on this, too.

This post is me being open, raw and vulnerable. All I can do is apologise again, and whatever comes of this post, I will accept gladly.

I hope I can usher in a time of more confidence, more happiness, and maybe more friendships which are unburdened by my negativity.

If you've made it this far, well done, and thanks for coming to my TedTalk. :) <3

[theragethatisdesire]

i’m sorry ur not feeling well 🥺💗 sending you positive vibes tonight!!

for the slumber party plz tell me allll about your favourite character that you don’t currently write about 🙊 i wanna hear all the secret deets

HEY TIFFFFF i appreciate it :( i hope i'm not like being annoying venting on here i'm just so miz and i know my irls are sick of hearing it lolol anyways!!!!

okay my current obsession is gojo. and bc i haven't actually started the fic yet, i don't technically write for him often, only per request. does that count? idk i wanna talk ab gojo lol

just gonna throw everything below a cut because idk where i'm headed with this. minors stay away!

this is like, canonical, but gojo's so fucking annoying LMAO like i just know he is the most obnoxious, can't-sit-still, sarcastic asshole on the planet. he really makes it hard to love him sometimes.

this....is not a spoiler for a fic i'm def not writing (wink wink) but i just don't think gojo could really properly fall for someone who was not powerful. like i think part of his distance from others is his (admitted) narcissism that is somewhat well-earned considering he is....gojo fucking satoru. he needs someone that is at least somewhat towards the top of their ranks in whatever they do.

i also feel like gojo would be encouraging to a fault? like always pushing you further towards your goals, stepping in obnoxiously if your boss doesn't notice you've been working your ass off for a promotion (again, annoying). like he won't rest until you've made progress.

gojo also gets baby girl-ified WAY too much

like hear me out

we see him through the eyes of the kids/around his students in most of s1, and that's not to say he doesn't have the potential to be a playful, lighthearted person *when he wants to be*

but remember that scene of him talking to the jujustu higher-up where the guy tells him to watch his mouth and gojo laughs in his fucking face??

he's an egotistical, all-powerful, ballsy maniac. like gojo is not braiding your hair and cooing in your ear 24/7.

he is slowly backing you into a wall and taking what he wants from you. like sorry he just is.

also gojo strikes me as someone who is ....nasty. like, blood and knife play, gun play, psychopathic kind of nasty in the bedroom. idk if i would personally ever write that, but he's been through so much and seen so much gore you know that that's fucked with his....tastes, so to speak

i do think however that gojo would be absolutely devoted to his partner

like it would take him forever to come around and accept that he now felt responsible for protecting yet another person and that he had accidentally formed a connection (i see gojo as also having a very weird relationship with his humanity vs. his divinity but more on that another time)

but once he's around? he's in it for life. i mean, even if you don't ship stsg, you must acknowledge that gojo has never been willing to truly let geto go. he couldn't kill him, refused to believe geto had done that even though geto was showing signs of deteriorating mentally.

he's the same way with his partner. good luck breaking up with gojo because it's going to be a years long process.

gojo loves someone who can push back at him. he doesn't want an entirely submissive partner (kinda like eren!)

he likes someone who will put him in his place, has a sharp tongue, isn't afraid to stand up for themselves or others.

love language is absolutely gift-giving like that man has to spoil his partner he can't help it

size kink. turns his infinity on mid-sex to punish you. wants to have sex where he stands overlooking tokyo in the s1 opening. always takes the blindfold off during sex. huge public sex guy. i said what i said. it's hard being correct.

i could literally go on for HOURS tiff you have no idea the grip this man has on me. i cannot wait to write this fic!!!!!!!! ah!!!!!

thanks for coming to my slumber party lovie kisses from me to u :)

[transgenderteensurvivalguide]

To the nonbinary anon who is thinking abt saying your a trans man:

Hi!! I’m in a similar situation. I have actually decided to take the step to come out as a trans man, so I can begin the medically transition I need to survive. This has been a hard decision for me, and it’s one that i’ve only recently been able to decide on, because I am now so comfortable in my identity. I’ve always been one to say “I don’t care what others think of me! I know myself best, so other people can’t change my mind”. Which, is a mindset I understand not everyone can share. But I think at the core of it, this all comes down to how comfortable and familiar you are with yourself. Gender is a complicated thing! It’s OK to change how you describe yourself, as you get to know you better. I used to identify as a trans man, before I realised I was non binary. And now it feels a bit strange to slip on that cover again as I seek medical transition, I will admit.

For me, I have gotten this comfortable in myself by listening to others, and making art. I used to struggle with unlearning transmedicalism, too. It stunted my growth as a non binary person. but in discovering more diverse voices on youtube, podcasts, etc, my mind truly opened. Not just in accepting the wide spectrum of all trans people, but in how it all interconnects. Listen to trans and non binary people with intersectional identities! You will learn so much. And the feeling of joy I got seeing just how many different ways non binary can be all over the worlds, it is wonderful. 

And in these past few years, I have really taken to art. creating my own, as a way of self expression. Drawing, face paint, makeup: all ways I express myself. Translating my being into different forms of art has helped me better understand myself. Again, not for everyone, I understand. But if you are into art, maybe try some abstract artworks. Some questions I turned into drawings are: “Who am I now vs. who do I want to become? Why do I love myself?”

While I will be putting “transgender man” down on official papers, I still have been out to my wonderful friends about being non binary. I agree with Lee that it is an important step in unlearning transmedicalism. Personally though, I accepted myself as non binary in my head, before I told my friends the truth. It is hard to explain what my gender means to me. I just don’t think words are enough sometimes! I wish I could have better words to explain how I came to this point of self-acceptance. Just try not to be too hard on yourself for not figuring everything out right away!

Because ultimately, your safety does indeed come first. Being in places where non binary identity isn’t well understood, it can feel like a lot of pressure to be a role model. At least for me, I can’t handle explaining to everyone I meet what it means to be non binary, and answer all the questions. It sucks, because having non binary people who are out, is an essential part of acceptance for our community. But we must keep in mind our own personal limits. It is understandable to feel guilty in this decision. But understand that it is not your fault our societies are this way, and we must do what we can to survive. 

I have hope that there *will* come a future where we are accepted and loved by this planet. We have already come so far, although it can be disheartening to remember that in the face of such vocal hate. But we cannot allow ourselves to be drowned by it. You are far from alone, anon. Wishing you peace and prosperity!! <3

(in response to this post)

Lee says:

Thank you for your reply-- as a sidenote, I'd like to mention that it isn't always necessary to pretend to be a binary trans man to access medical transitioning.

Anon may feel like it is necessary to do so in their situation and I am not saying that they are wrong for doing so. But I'd like followers who have not yet started the process of medical transition to know that it can be possible to do so while out as non-binary.

I personally have been out as genderqueer to my mental health letter-writing providers and medical providers throughout my process of getting T, getting top surgery, a hysterectomy, and phalloplasty. I can't say that all of my doctors actually understood that I'm non-binary as many did refer to me as a trans man, but despite that bit of erasure, I wasn't actively hiding my gender identity and it is mentioned in my WPATH letters of support.

While it will depend on where you live and which doctors/providers you see, there are folks who medically transition while openly identifying as non-binary.