#and someone who understands elain owes that man nothing

[elainsgirl]

I was pretty ambiguous about Lucien’s character and the Gwyneriel ship.. as long as elain was happy I didn’t really care. But Lucien and Gwyneriel fans really pushed me towards Elriel..

Like what do you mean Elain owes Lucien an apology? What do you mean Lucien is too good for Elain and elain needs to get on her knees for forgiveness? According to them, Lucien is this little baby that needs to be coddled and elains this evil, apathetic woman. Are we forgetting that Lucien literally helped kidnap elain and did nothing while she was unwillingly turned into a fae? Are we forgetting that he did nothing as Jurian made a disgusting joke about elain? Are we forgetting that Lucien is a grown man who’s hundreds of years old while elain is still in her twenties?

Not to mention Gwyneriel. I like gwyn - I think she’s a good character. But I can’t stand the headcanons that people make of her becoming Nyx’s mother/favorite person, that she’s going to show Feyre how to mother her own child and snatch nyx away from her because only she can calm him down, that Rhys will go gwyn over his own wife because gwyn understands him better. And don’t forget gwyns going to yell and shame elain and Feyre for not being good sisters while everyone applauds in the background and Azriel swoons… like c’mon.

Ever since I’ve read that I’m firmly Elriel. Elain doesnt owe anyone anything - especially not Lucien or gwyn a woman she doesn’t even know. Elain is Nyx’s aunt - not gwyn. If anyone is going to take care of nyx, (outside Feyre of course) it’s going to be Feyre’s sister elain..

It’s like people have this fantasy about elain/Feyre being humiliated and humbled all to prop up their fav characters. It honestly rubs me the wrong way. Idk… all I want is for elain and Feyre to be happy. I know that they both made mistakes, but you would think that they were worse than Aramantha with how some people treat them. With how the fandom constantly vilifies them, I want SJM to give them the best ending ever.

Twins.

Antis pushed me towards being firmly elriel. I actually didnt even care that much, like you, I just loved Elain and wanted her to be happy, however I soom quckly learnt how many eluciens actually hated Elain and only wanted her to make sure Lucien gets his happy ending bcs they couldn’t fanthom anything outside of mates = the only way to remain eternally happy. I would constantly see takes of how Elain needed to grovel (🤢) for Lucien yet when you asked what has she done wrong…”she’s so mean to him!” “She didnt give him a chance!” “She’s leading him on” (? Didnt know avoiding a man and shrinking back around him gave off the impression your interested) you get the gist. As someone who loved Elain, these takes would just irritate me and I would find myself defending elain from stans that claimed to “love” her so much…which they do. The fanon version of Elain they’ve curated for their ship. The elain that will be friends with Vassa/Jurian, bicker & be sassy with Lucien, Elain that will follow Lucien wherever he goes - basically its a version of Elain thats in the background whilst her mate is the centre of attention. Eluciens wanted Elain to get jealous over Lucien, to be humbled for what she lost and get karma for “hurting” Luciens feelings. Recently, they’re accusing her off cheating on Lucien? When eluciens say they love elain, in my experience- they love her on their terms. Not the way she currently is and how her story is set upto go. You’re just speaking facts after facts, Lucien isn’t a saint. Yes he has had trauma. But again, he is not perfect. Him not defending elain when Jurian made 2 disgusting jokes about her was already icky. But then him becoming besties with the man ? Elain deserves better.

ahh. The gwynification of the fandom…that fic still haunts me where Gwyn basically takes Nyx of Feyre and soothes him, telling Feyre off for not knowing how to handle him properly whilst everyone just looked around in awe, including Lucien which made Elain seethe with jealousy. I read acosf and liked Gwyns character. She was strong, empowering, just a beautiful well rounded character. Her stans however? Put me completely off Gwyn, I still dont like interacting with content about her bcs they’re mostly putting Elain down. Gwyn’s character has literally been dragged in a love square she isn’t apart off and her whole character is now about Azriel which is just sad considering she has shown 0 interest in him romantically.

Facts: Elain owes Lucien nothing. They’re not in a relationship. She can do whatever she pleases with who she pleases just as Lucien can do the same. Feyre & Gwyn arent close. Gwyn isnt going to suddenly become Nyz’s favourite babysitter or auntie when he’s been blessed with two aunts that will love him so much. Two aunts Feyre loves and trusts. Gwyn isn’t going to be apart of the IC - she’s Nesta’s friend.

You worded it perfectly anon. People want to see Feyre and Elain get knocked off a peg or two and it doesn’t make sense as to why. They’re both flawed yet are absolute sweethearts. Two characters that have been through so much and more then deserve their happy ending which Mass will definitely give to them.

Feyre’s made her found family whilst healing her relationship with her sisters. She’s mated to a man that would put her above everyone else and would lay down his own life for her. She’s made friends that love her for who she is. And now has a beautiful son that will adore his mother.

Elain has a beautiful friendship with the twins. She spends her day doing what she loves whilst being adored by everyone around her. She has two of the most wanted bacherlors both wanting her. One risked his life to save her whilst the other is her mate.

Both girls will have the best lives despite what their haters might manifest otherwise.

[stargirlie25]

Make it make sense..

I just don´t understand some e/riels logic.....

Like one day, Azriel is Elains mate because he figured out her power and cleared the murky realm she was in.

Another day he is a good protective boyfriend for saying the whole ´´There is an innate darkness that Elain should not be exposed to´´'and that was previously because she got kidnapped due to her powers.

Another day Lucien is a horrible man for saying ´´good´´ after feyre mentioned there has been no sign of her powers even though he originally asked how she was doing not anything to do with her powers.

Apparently that´s bad behavior because Elain should embrace that power. Although when someone mentions how Elain can get uneasy because of it, they say ´´Well she´s going to be stuck with it forever so its best to embrace it´´

BUT Azriel should forever hide his power because he apparently feels better without it?

One day its ´´The bonus chapter isnt even important because not everybody has access to it!´´

Although another day, the bonus chapter thats so useless reveals lightsinger powers for one of the key people in ACOSF? The optional bonus reveals that a character lured in Azriel and has a dangerous spell on him?!

One day its, oh my gosh forbidden love!

Another day its Elain has a choice and she should not be forced into anything!

But she should be Azriels hidden f-toy? She should be forced to that position even though he isnt ever going to be satisfied with her because he wants a mate?

Or its, Elain does not owe Lucien anything! BUTTTT she deserves to give Azriel her time and hide in the darkness with him and play out his fantasies (only thing he wants) even though he refers to her as ´´The thrid´´. Even though SHE HERSELF gave back the necklace out of her own choice. (something e/riels always disrespect and never notice)

Ugh mates are boring! We want rejected mates!

Or its, E/riel are actually mates because Az can smell the bond.

They are mates because Azriel thought so!

Like Elain is literally a conspiracy theory to Azriel miss maam

Or, Elain made a deal with koschei to be Azriels mate.

Its forbidden love!

No its the whole ´´The boy who never got chosen and the girl who never had the option to chose´´

Elain is the light to Azriels darkness!

Wait no Elain is the light IN the darkness!

(Azriels shadows shy away from light and he trains at night and Elain is a light who needs light and chases away darkness)

Death and life!

(Makes sense because the NC sucks the LIFE from her and obviously death can restore it?)

Elain can´t be highlady of the day court!

Yeah because shes totally going to be High lady of the dusk court with Az..

There is nothing wrong with Elains hobbies! (gardening and baking)

Elains going to be the spymaster of the night court because she keeps secrets about a pregnancy and she will wield a dagger it all times!

She will be the savior of Illyria! (Never trained a day in her life)

Stop trying to change Gwyn for a man and try to say shes a spy (even though she literally was spying in the BR like Az was doing at the same time) However Elain can be a spy because she is foreshadowed to be!

Also Elain is foreshadowed to be taking private lessons with Azriel (Gwyn already does. Canon)\

Luciens gifts to Elain prove that he views her as a breakable docile flower but Azriel basic necklace proves that he sees her for the bada$$ she is? (got that from @lorcanisdabest thought it was funny haha)

Azriel feeling insecure and unworthy of being near Elain because of his TRAUMA means nothing! Elain can fix him! Although Gwynriel isnt happening because they were reminded of Gwyns past (which they were both present for) for a HEARTBEAT WHICH IS LITERALLY 0.8 SECONDS AND THAT MEANS THEY CANT THINK OF ANYTHING OTHER THAN THAT AND THAT´S TOXIC!!!!!!

E/riel are mates because a smile bloomed on Azriels face in regards to Elain.

Although its just normal that a smile bloomed on elain face (AFTER HER DAD DIED WHO SHE WAS CLOSEST to) in regards to Lucien. Like thats just clown sh!t.

Amren said Az was underestimating Elain but we should not take her word for it because it was not Azriels (even though thats the only canon piece of what sjm provided on what Azriel could have been doing) BUT we should take feyres word on Elain and Azriel everytime!

There is so much more crap E/riels say but that would take FOREVER. All im saying is that to make your content consistent. Stick to one plot and make it make sense.

Something i have seen with Eluciens and gwynriels is that we have a solid idea on the romantic part for our ships and it stays consistent.

[valkyriegoddesses]

Thoughts on ACOSF

⚠️ SPOILERY, SO DON’T READ IF YOU HAVEN’T READ THE BOOK ⚠️

⚔️ the good and the bad, I’ll try to get rid of the bad thoughts first and keep the positive ones for the end but idk where my line of thought would go as I recall and type so here we go

• Nesta’s journey of healing is hers and hers alone. She owes no one in the inner circle anything, they didn’t do her any favors. (Now before I delve into this, I just want to say that I see they (Feyre and Elain only) had good intentions, but I’m going to point out everywhere it went wrong, probably against what they planned, but still it went horribly wrong) She was still suffering all the same after she got her free will stripped from her, the decision made for her by packing her things without informing her or listening to her opinion or trying to have a more lenient approach to the matter, being threatened that her second option is being thrown to the human lands where she could die, being lied to about the consequences of her actions in law, being told she “belongs in the Hewn City”, being told she’s “a pathetic waste of life”, and choosing the place everyone admits they hate going to aka the House of Wind, as her destination to heal. Knowing full well she can’t make the descent down these stairs and would be imprisoned without the power to winnow. And instead of being given her space and time, they push her to talk and interact when all she’s trying to do is have some distance from everyone. Some time to herself, to not feel anything, to control the storm of thoughts raging on the inside. And she’s pushed time and time again to face her trauma and heal RIGHT NOW because apparently, they’re timing her. And she shouldn’t have her emotions on display, when she tells them she doesn’t feel like talking yet she’s forced to interact and socialize. Anyone who’s been forced to interact against their will knows how draining it is. Now imagine this coupled with being triggered by water, and being triggered by fire, which are a daily necessity. And imagine everyone got a decade or more to deal with their trauma and are still not entirely healed, yet your time is up after little over a year. It sucks. And I hate how what triggered them to action wasn’t that she was wasting away to nothing, but the bill. When the bill was high, they drew the line. And I hate how in the narrative, the “conversation” -even though I wouldn’t call it that because only one side was allowed to talk and the other side wasn’t allowed to object- was written in a way that made it about THEIR image, when she’s frequenting taverns. THEIR image, when she doesn’t show up to their parties. THEIR image when the bill for her drinking is high. (They say it’s too much money, as if they don’t have all the riches and they all spend money on things that are absolutely not necessary, and THEY drowned her with gifts, LOADS of gifts, after she sacrificed her power to save her sister, which she didn’t do for payment, but anyway the thought is, they had the money and just like they thought Amren deserves payment for what she did in the war, they should’ve kept the same energy for Nesta because she had no small role in that either). I just think they handled it badly. Not exactly how you’d talk to someone suffering from PTSD, depression and survivor’s guilt. For one, threatening a worse alternative isn’t helpful. Secondly, There were way too many people in that room. More than necessary. Feyre and Elain would’ve been enough AS HER FAMILY (and I’ll get to details on this in a moment). And Feyre was the only decent one handling it as someone who actually was looking for a better outcome and really had the intention to help, someone who wasn’t there just to humiliate. Amren and Rhys were only there to land jabs and poke at her insecurities and bad coping mechanisms. Rhys used his power on her to force her to obey him and we all know how it’s a big NO among them. Many of those in the IC had worse coping mechanisms. But what she was doing was too much for them to handle? She was self-destructing. And she kept her distance. If I told someone I needed my space and they kept poking their head in my business, I sure as hell would lash out. When someone needs space, their privacy should be respected. No matter how long it takes them.

And I don’t see where the problem with her drinking was. She never showed up to events drunk. We never saw her hungover the day after. She was spending some money on drinking yes, but it did not get out of hand. She was also spending money on food and gambling. All in all, not the worst coping mechanism among those who were criticizing her. Not to mention that everyone who criticized her were drinkers as well, and they all slept around during some part of their lives.

Now the problem with the presence of other people in that room, other than Feyre (if Elain didn’t wish to attend and preferred to have some space between her and and Nesta, it’s her choice) anyway, only Feyre’s presence was required. Everyone else there was just an accessory, only adding stress to the atmosphere, forcing Nesta to get on the defensive with the way they slut shamed her, shamed her for drinking, shamed her for not being able to take a bath even though she told Feyre how the water still scares her, etc. I can see Sarah wanted it to look like a “family” intervening. Like some tough love sort of thing. But she failed. Simply because, the IC might be Feyre’s found family and she might take such a talk from them because it would really be tough love. As for Nesta, she doesn’t view them as family. She barely knows them. So for a group of strangers, or let’s say newly acquainted people, to sit around her and point out her every flaw and shame her for every misstep, who wouldn’t lash out at that? It’s enough she’s forced to spend time among them, on holidays she doesn’t really believe in, where they force her to attend but actively ignore her presence and treat her like a ghost. Why make her come if they don’t enjoy her company? It’s just ridiculous. Then when she gets angry from all the pushing and lashes out and it’s entirely her fault. they’re all like “come to our gatherings where we will insult you, nitpick all your unhealthy coping mechanisms, but don’t be offended and seclude yourself, we all took decades to deal with our trauma and killed people while doing it but your coping mechanisms are unhealthy. And your actions are unforgivable because you lash out at us when we shove ourselves down your throat. How can you not like us? Everyone has to like us.” Then she gets thrown away to a war camp, a FUCKING WAR CAMP, while a big part of her trauma is because of war. And instead of dealing with her face-to-face, while being gentle and showing her they’re on her side WITHOUT JUDGEMENT, WITHOUT WINCING AND GLANCES AT EACH OTHER AND INNER CONVERSATIONS ABOUT HER WHERE SHE’S EXCLUDED, they’re like “we’re tired of your shit so here’s a house you can stay in while you sort this out away from our merry little circle, which has its nose up your business anyway. But still, sort it out away from us.” And in that house she became more and more closed off and her healing - and I will die on this hill - her healing DID NOT start until the house came into play which was her own doing. And it kicked off because of Emerie and Gwyn, who both didn’t judge her, didn’t demonize her, didn’t only see the bad in her, but accepted her as she was and loved every part of her. Showed her that she was not a waste of life and there are things to live for. As for the beloved inner circle? Beyond insulting her and her coping mechanisms, They don’t tell her about the weapons SHE made, because pro-colonization Amren doesn’t think it’s wise, that Nesta would use it against the world. (Amren do you hear how stupid you sound?) they always villianize her, assuming she’d be out to take the world and take revenge on everyone who ever glanced her way. They assumed she was bad, they assumed because she was angry, that she would use her power for killing and terrorizing and building an Empire like they all do. When all she wanted to do was listen to music and be around good company who passed her no judgement.

Anyway, getting into some details with each character:

Feyre: I hated Feyre’s “crying over scrambled eggs because my image is destroyed my sister spent so much money on drinking”. And the fact that when telling Nesta she was doing this for her own good, she told her she was embarrassed for her own image in the same breath. But beyond that I was fine with her. I loved her reconcilation with Nesta. I loved that she was one who wanted to give Nesta more time, recognized that she needed her own time. I love them together. I think without everyone’s interference, their reconcilation would’ve happened much faster. They were already making progress before ~some people~ ruined everything and caused Nesta to be closed off again. I don’t hate that Nesta sacrificed her power to save Feyre in the end. She’s her sister and she loves her and this is not the first time she proved this. She would do anything to protect her sisters and she hates herself for the times she misstepped. Even though it wasn’t her fault and there was a full grown man sitting there who conveniently got a redemption arc. What angers me though, is that it was only after this, that the inner circle viewed her as someone who is worth their respect. And made the sacrifice materialistic by drowning Nesta with gifts. She didn’t do it for their acceptance or for their love, or for payment. She did it because her sister needed help. Period. (Sidenote: I’m writing a post where I delve deep into their relationship, which I will eventually post, because I think I reached an understanding about their relationship)

Elain: let me get something out of the way, she has power. She has free will, she’s not a baby. She’s a grown woman who doesn’t need coddling. I hate how the fandom views her as a baby. And she’s constantly infantilized, preventing her from reaching her full potential. Now that that’s out of the way, here are my 2 cents on her, since she wasn’t in this book much: Nesta’s wording was very clear, yet I’ve seen this scene misread all over the timeline. Nesta said “I sat by your side for weeks. Weeks, while you wasted away, refusing food and drink. While you appeared to hope you’d just wither and die. No one suggested you either shape up or be shipped back to the human lands.” Nesta’s problem is NOT that Elain wasn’t “there” as in “by her side”. She explicitly stated she needed space. Nesta’s problem was that she stood between Elain and anyone who might tell her to snap out of it and lock her trauma in some dark room in the back of her head. She made sure Elain had her time. While Elain agreed to pack her bags and didn’t prevent them from shipping her away, deciding her time was up. All she wants is time, and Elain didn’t have her back on this. Then we have the fact that Elain slut-shamed Nesta. And then when Nesta comes to the party this time, Elain meets her at the door and her reaction instead of saying hi and leaving it at that or simply ignoring her, is “did Feyre pay you this time?” I’m torn on where to stand on the Elain-Nesta situation, a part of me is disappointed in Elain. I think she should’ve handled this better than anyone else because she was there, she witnessed the trauma happen, Nesta was there for her, they grew up being inseparable the entire time. If anyone should understand her better than anyone else, it’s Elain. So why did she abandon her to everyone’s judgement? And a part of me is like maybe she knew whatever she voted wouldn’t matter because the IC were taking the step anyway, and didn’t want to be there when it happened. Or maybe she’s still dealing with her own trauma in her own way and doesn’t want a confrontation. But I always circle back to the sl*t-shaming and the shaming about the drinking, and then I think about the Solstice scene where as soon as she saw her she was like “did Feyre pay you this time?” And a part of me is angry about the shaming undertone of that too, while some part of me thinks that maybe Elain felt unwanted along with everyone else and that in order for Nesta to meet them, she has to be paid, but we will never know unless we hear it from her.

Rhysand: that piece of shit, misogynist, who used his powers to compel Nesta to obey his orders, pulled rank on her, taunted and threatened her every step of the way and utilized her for his own agenda, and was *surprised* to learn the woman has trauma. Took him being inside her head and unable to wake her up from the nightmare, because the behavior she was exhibiting wasn’t enough. [insert shocked pickatchu meme]. I also would like to add that him playing the protective love interest from his mate’s own sister, WHO COULD’VE HARMED HER IF SHE WANTED TO, but never wanted to because she’s not a bad person, is so cheap. Like- you, the guy who drugged her and made her give you lap dances, are afraid for her sake… from her sister? Who only ever used words as jabs and is generally rude? Or do you feel like you’re overpowered and are trying to fill the void in your toxic masculinity and reassert dominance ?

Cassian: He was patient with her, and probably the healthiest person in the inner circle who dealt with her until she was okay, but he still silently agreed with all the shit that was said about her. Shit she didn’t deserve to be said about her as someone going through trauma. He mocked whatever progress she made on the stairs calling it pathetic in the beginning. He stayed silent when Nesta was stripped of her will, when she was told she belongs in the Court of Nightmares, when her fate was decided for her, when she was being lied to, when she was threatened to be thrown to the humans who would kill her. He made some progress and understood her better with time, but it doesn’t excuse how he stayed silent when she was being mistreated. Specially since he claims her loves her. He also stayed silent as the Inner Circle despised her presence but still used her to reach what they’re plotting for. He progressed, and he got better, I’ll give him that. But still, as someone who claims he loves her the way he does, he shouldn’t have allowed his friends to manipulate and use her in their schemes but then exclude her from everything else, even knowledge about her own power. But I love that he was patient, that he worked to understand her, that he grew to stand up for her. I would argue that they are the healthiest ship written by SJM this far.

Mor: fucking Mor, who experienced trauma, told Nesta she belongs in the court of Nightmares. Where she was abused herself. Knowing women are viewed as objects there, knowing Nesta would recieve abuse there. She said that, wishing abuse on someone who she simply didn’t like and had some quarrels with. They never saw eye to eye and that’s fine. They always had sharp tongues when talking to each other and that’s fine. What’s not fine though, is that THIS of all things, seemed so out of character for Mor. Now, she never knew Nesta was a survivor of SA. But as someone who helps SA victims, she’s the last person I expected such a comment from. It felt very out of character. I hate that this is the Bi character in all of this mess. Of all people, a hypocrite is the Bi person. The LGBTQ community deserves better. I thought about it, and maybe Mor, being like a stranger to Nesta, and seeing her ignore Cassian in front of the Illyrians who already look down on him, made her angry to the point where she just wanted to land a jab and didn’t think her words would mean anything. Maybe all she wanted to do was stand up for Cassian, but what she said was definitely not true and not okay. I wanted her and Nesta to have a talk about it, but also she grew to have decent conversations with her and she helped her when she and Cassian had that fight. So I don’t know, maybe it’s a silent progress between them.

Amren: this one told her she was a waste of life. What a great way to deal with someone who’s suffering from PTSD and depression and having suicidal thoughts, Amren. Tell them they’re a waste of life, enforce every thought they are having as fact, push them to the point where they doubt they should be breathing, and when they’re told they could tumble down a mountain and break their bones while hiking, their first thought would be “good”. Amren deserves a medal, a badge of honor for being the 500+ old woman who has healthy ways of dealing with traumatized people telling them they don’t deserve to live because the thoughts of their power and dealing with controlling that power right now is so overwhelming. Amren, who decided that because Nesta was always angry, she had no right to know that she used her power unknowingly and forged powerful weapons. Amren, who was pushing for colonization throughout this book, was afraid of Nesta misusing her power. Villainizing Nesta’s every thought, as if Nesta wasn’t overwhelmed from the thought of possessing so much power, as if Nesta doesn’t refuse to use her powers and train. As if Nesta is out there hiding as she masters her power to reemerge and turn the world upside down. You’re the one who’s pushing Rhys to colonize other territories and become high king, Amren. Maybe *you* should be locked up in the house of wind for therapy. What hurts most in this is Amren was her friend. She trusted Amren. Amren said that shitty line to her and then lied to her and manipulated her and used her to further Rhys’s agenda. She flopped from telling Feyre that Nesta is immortal and a few years are nothing, and she should be given time. She would not betray her trust, to whatever she turned into in ACOSF. And everyone give SJM a round of pats on the back and an applause for making Amren the wise one here and making Nesta, the traumatized one who was wronged, get on her knees and apologize. I mean- if you thought this apology scene was necessary, then clarification about the fight between them was just as necessary. Or you include neither scene. But deeming the apology important and not the incident? This is some victim blaming on a whole other level.

The House of Wind: The house of wind was honestly one of the best parts of this book. It was Nesta, “Lady Death” as they call her, breathing life into something, and it was gentle, and it was patient, and it was understanding, and it pushed her to be healthier without judging, without throwing insults or slut-shaming. It hated that she didn’t eat? It kept waiting for her until her body gave out and she had to eat. It didn’t like her drinking? It gave her water when she asked for wine. It showed her its darkest part where she found the greatest warmth as well, as if saying don’t be ashamed of your darkness because in it you’ll find light, and it didn’t abandon her or stop responding to her when she was angry. It was actively by her side, without any judgement, only support and pushing her to fix the behaviours without dissing her. and it was everything those people around her weren’t. It was family.

Gwyn: their first meeting wasn’t at all what you would call “friendly”, to a fault by Nesta. Gwyn didn’t even know anything about Nesta, yet she didn’t react with even more anger as ~others~ did, she didn’t fear Nesta, or give a retort, or get angry and lash out at her. She took the blow and was, with all the calm in the world, like fine, you want to tell on me, go tell. And Nesta did go tell on her, then realized by herself how she acted rashly. And later helped Gwyn without being asked to, by swapping the book so Merrill doesn’t scold her. And their friendship grew to the point where Gwyn, a traumatized person who couldn’t dare leave the library, started training with her, was her friend and had conversations with her that didn’t center her trauma or her coping mechanisms being analyzed. She went out of the library for the first time in 2 years when she knew Nesta needed her by her side. She occupied her mind with stories of Valkyries, women being strong and unyielding in a society which didn’t allow it. She took her hand and gave her a purpose in life to work for. Gave her a friend who didn’t judge, a kind face in the maelstorm of judgemental faces. Until she felt like a safe space to Nesta to the point where she spilled all her thoughts, the ones she could only admit to herself, to Gwyn, letting her inside those walls. And when she braced for judgement, she didn’t receive it. Gwyn dealing with someone’s trauma, as someone who’s been through trauma herself, is one of the beautiful corners of this book

Emerie: Another woman with trauma. She sees Nesta enter her store, of course she knows who she is, yet she doesn’t judge her. Nesta asks about making the fatigues warmer, Emerie says she’ll ask, but it’s costly. Nesta says then she can’t afford it, admits that she was cut off, Emerie, as a stranger, doesn’t judge her. She says she could make them anyway and she can pay her as she can. Because no one should feel cold. It’s simple, irrelevant. Nesta wouldn’t freeze to death, she as a stranger has no obligation to help, it’s a simple reasoning. “You shouldn’t feel cold”. It’s enough for her to help Nesta. Something as mundane as feeling cold. She asks her to join her for a meal. And Nesta asks her if she would join the training, which Emerie refuses. and Nesta blurts out that she didn’t take her for a coward. And later, Nesta sends her the herbs she wishes to get which she can’t get often because of her location, and it’s a message of “you too deserve to see what’s best in the world, to go out and experience the beautiful parts and live, not just exist”. So Emerie goes to training with her as well, and they bond over romance novels. Emerie also reaches a point where she opens up about her own trauma, and tells the truth about what she faced and her survival. This girl who is 50-something at least, who has never had friends, living a lonely secluded life, finally found someone who was trustworthy enough to be around and form a bond with. As for the fact that she is a PoC, and the illyrians are portrayed as this group of savages who abuse their women and their women have no say in their lives and futures and how they clip their women’s wings, when wings, wingspan and wingplay heavily imply that wings are erogenous parts of the body and wing clipping seems to be the equivalent of Circumcision, which again so happens to be done by the “PoC savages who abuse their women”, hits a whole lot as fucking racist and xenophobic. PoC deserve a storyline where they’re not viewed as the villains.

Azriel: I loved his relationship with Nesta. He was the best chaperon™️, he never spoke in judgement toward her. There was a silent understanding between them. However, I’m not against him showing his feelings toward Elain or her toward him. It’s fine, if that’s what they both want. I don’t think Lucien is the type to call for a blood duel. He simply brings her presents and attends when invited, he doesn’t force himself on her and keeps his distance. However I did hate that Azriel took the necklace and gave it to Gwyn, as a secondhand. I know his only intention was to make her smile but the necklace wasn’t meant for her. It’s not a trial by error, he can’t just keep trying out with different women every time he fails with one. And I’ll just leave this here.

The elephant in the room: the entire IC is involved in this, them all blaming Nesta, framing her as the wrong person, when she told Feyre about the dangers of her pregnancy? I don’t care if she did it while she was angry, her heart was in the right place. She got hurt from them deciding her fate without her involvement, voting on her, not once, but twice, about her fate because she wasn’t fast enough to deal with her trauma, then again when deciding if she should know about what she did with her own power and the weapons. and she showed Feyre what was really at play. Protecting her from what she faced with the Inner Circle. Just because she was angry while doing it does not mean she did it out of spite. She did it to expose them, specially Amren at that point. But I don’t get how it was twisted to “because she wanted to hurt Feyre”. She wasn’t even angry at Feyre. But you all would rather suck up to the Inner Circle than confront the fact that they’re hypocrites and liars with a propaganda. They’re evil. They fear Nesta using her power to seize control of everyone because it’s how THEY are. With all this High King crap. Basically colonization dreams. With how they press rank whenever it suits them, and lie about the law to win arguments. It’s because those who are inherently bad think everyone is bad just like them.

Other Elephants in the room which have been here a long time: the thing with blaming Nesta for not being the breadwinner… I could never get it. Some have money-earning skills, others don’t. She, at the point of her life when she was human, was only trained in dancing and appealing to men socially so she could uplift the family’s social status. She couldn’t hunt. Feyre could. And NEITHER, should’ve been the breadwinner. Nesta was willing to starve to death if it would push her father to do something. Feyre wasn’t willing to wait and starve or watch anyone starve. But it doesn’t mean Nesta was at fault. She was only 3 years older than Feyre. Let’s leave the “the oldest child has to step in for the parents when the parents fail” mentality in the past. It’s ridiculous. Nesta was under no obligation to be the breadwinner. And she suffered self-flagellation regularly for letting Feyre walk out there and hunt. But she literally had no skills that when she thought of something to do, she could only think of selling herself on the streets. The parents were abusive, both of them. Favoring one child over the other and planting rivalry between the siblings. “i love you” means nothing. NOTHING, when there is no action to prove it. And if anything, this book made me realize that Nesta was never okay. She was never in a good place mentally. I mean, I knew, but this book just proved it. Her mother favored her alright, but it was not in a loving way. She simply exploited her to climb the social ladder. She didn’t give her love, she gave her instructions. She enabled the grandmother to beat her, and instill some “harsher punishments” one of which Nesta still holds the scars for. She was called worthless, as a child. Why? Because she made a wrong step in a dance. She was physically and verbally abused, and her mother let it happen. Yet she was the only one who would give Nesta the time of day so Nesta still loved her. As a child, her mother was the only person who showed interest in her and she clung to. However twisted it was, it’s the only love she ever got. The only love she knew. Then she lost her. and later the family also lost their wealth. So all she was taught to do her entire life suddenly became meaningless because she can’t achieve what her mother “trained” her to do. And we know the rest of the story. She never felt at home, not even when her mother lived and she still had that wealth. She admitted as much. She was never fine. She might’ve appeared the part, but it was never true. And since she was so good at masking her emotions, nobody was the wiser.

side note: As for her power being the “bare minimum” now, there better not be a plothole, since Rhysand couldn’t contain merely the “surface of her power” because it was too much. and if that’s all she retained, then it’s good enough for me.

[fawnandshadows]

ACOTAR Characters and the Taylor Swift song that they go the hardest to

Feyre — Better Man

Notable Lyrics: And I see the permanent damage you did to me, I know the bravest thing I ever did was run, And it was always on your terms - I waited on every carless word, But your jealousy-oh i can hear it now- talking down to me, and i gave to you my best and we both know you can't say that, I just wish you were a better man

Yes, Feyre loves Rhys wholeheartedly, but damn Feyre loves singing this song at the top of her lungs. Yes, Feyre is completely over Tamlin, but you're gonna look me in the eye and tell me Feyre doesn't scream this when it's shit on Tamlin time?

Rhysand — Starlight

Notable Lyrics: And we were dancing - dancing - like we're made of starlight, Don't you see the starlight? Don't you dream impossible things? We could get married - have ten kids and teach them how to dream

This song has massive Feysand energy, and Rhys knows it. He goes so hard to this song because it reminds him of the early days of Feysand's relationship. The dreamer imagery? The starlight imagery? The way this song fucking slaps? Rhysand loves it and eats it up. He most likely made Taylor an honorary member of the Night Court.

Nesta — I Did Something Bad

Notable Lyrics: If a man talks shit - then I owe him nothing, They say I did something bad - then why's it feel so good?, You gotta leave before you get left, They're burning all the witches even if you are one, Light me up

I headcanon that they play reputation during the valkyrie training sessions. Nesta goes so hard to this song it's not even funny. Every time Cassian hears this song blasting he low-key wonders what he did to piss Nesta off, and 90% of the time it's just Nesta rocking out and dancing to let loose.

Cassian— You Belong With Me

Notable Lyrics: Dreaming bout the day when you wake up and find that what you're looking for has been here the whole time, If you could see that i'm the one who understand you - been here all along- so why can't you see you belong with me, You say your fine - i know you better than that

Now, not only does Cassian appreciate this song for the bop that it is, but he also empathizes with it. Cassian had this song on repeat everyday after the Solstice to when Nesta finally recognized him as her mate. He definitely cooks his eggs to this song, and jumps around the kitchen belting out the lyrics, and Nesta was snobby and dismissive about this song at first, but she finally came around.

Elain — Enchanted

Notable Lyrics: There i was again tonight - forcing laughter - faking smiles, All I can say is it was enchanting to meet you, counter all your quick remarks like passing notes in secrecy, I'm wonderstruck - blushing all the way home, the lingering question kept me up - 2am who do you love?, And now I'm pacing back and forth wishing you were at my door, I'm wonderstruck dancing around all alone, This is me praying that this was the very first page - not where the storylines ends, my thoughts will echo your name until i see you again, Please don't be in love with someone else - please don't have somebody waiting on you

The most enchanting Archeron sister gets the most enchanting song. Elain 100% sings this song and spins around in the moonlight when she can't sleep at night. She yearns just as hard as Azriel. This song is beautiful just like Elain, and she constantly sings it while she gardening and baking. Elain is a Speak Now stan.

Azriel — Back To December

Notable Lyrics: Your guard is up and I know why, cause the last time you saw me is still burned in the back of your mind, so this is me swallowing my pride saying I'm sorry for that night, And I go back to December all the time, It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you, I go back to December all the time, These days I haven't been sleeping - staying up playing back myself leaving, you gave me all your love and all i gave you ways goodbye, if the chain is on your door I understand

No one can tell me this isn't Azriel after the Solstice. No one. My dude listens to this on repeat during his flights. I feel like this really needs no explanation.

Mor — I Forgot That You Existed

Notable Lyrics: I forgot that you existed, I thought that it would kill be but it didn't, it was so nice - so peaceful and quiet, lived in the shade you were throwing til all of my sunshine was gone, sent me a clear message - taught me some hard lessons

Mor is a Lover stan and a 1989 stan, but I really see her cranking this song to full volume and singing until her throat is raw to this song. It's her karaoke song. They play this song at Rita's whenever she is there. She is still trying to put her family and Hewn City behind her, and she clings to this song whenever she needs to stay strong. It's also fun and upbeat just like Mor.

Amren — All Too Well (10 Minute Version)

Notable Lyrics: Everything.

Now, Amren doesn't relate to this song. At all. But she loves the anger in it, and when she started playing it on repeat everyone was wondering what the hell Varian did. I can imagine everyone gathering round to discuss the best way to broach the subject, and Rhys was ready to go to war with the Summer Court, and Amren was wondering why everyone was walking on eggshells around her. When they finally confronter her about it, Amren laughed in their faces because Varian treats her like the queen she is.

Lucien — The Story of Us

Notable Lyrics: I used to think one day we'd tell the story of us - how we met and the sparks flew instantly, so many walls up I can't break through, the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now, you're doing your best to avoid me, Why are we pretending this is nothing? I've never heard silence quite this loud

Now, I know Lucien is Mr. Perfectly Fine, and he is able to live in the human lands and be happy with Vassa and Jurian, but some of these lyrics were too good not to use (:

[outerbankspreferences]

The Roommate - Austin North

Chapter I  - Introductions

A/N This is kind of a slow start, but the next chapter is them meeting and moving in with each other. I only lightly proof read because it’s late. I hope you guys enjoy!

Word Count: 1743

MASTERLIST SERIES MASTERLIST

It was getting late into filming season one of Outer banks. Drew, Austin and Rudy were talking about moving back to LA together and getting an apartment. Rudy had been living with Chase, until he started dating his co-star Madelyn. The three boys got along great, and everyone had grown so close while filming. They were all talking about taking places in the same complex wanting to be close to each other when the show finally aired.

It was a great plan. All three had looked at different apartment buildings, figuring out how much they could afford between the three of them. Rudy had roommates already back in LA, but they were moving on with their lives and Rudy knew he couldn’t afford to live there by himself. That was when JD had suggested for him to move in with Drew and Austin.

 Everything was going great between the boys until Rudy started hanging out with Elaine more. She was the one of the crew’s photographers, always helping were she could. She got along with incredibly. Both Rudy and Elaine were in the early stages of hanging out when they started filming, knowing each other from previous projects. Rudy thought she was amazing before and jumped on the opportunity to get to know her more.

 There had been a big misunderstanding in the beginning when Rudy saw Elaine and Drew hanging out together all the time, he thought he lost his chance, but when Drew had brought another girl around a couple of times, he was clearly mistaken. Rudy went back to were he started trying to win over Elaine, cracking every joke he could think of and taking her out on cute little dates. It was simple, but enough for both.

 “Do you think they’ll be mad?” Elaine asked the blonde while they laid in the hammock. “I don’t know maybe at first, but their cool, they’ll understand.” The two were talking about getting their own place when the show was over. Elaine had a lot of projects coming up in LA and it just made sense. The two were in love and it was what they wanted. “I just wish I knew someone who wanted to move in with them you know. It would make it so much easier to tell them.” Elaine said flipping through the photos she had taken.

 Rudy was nervous to talk to the other boys. He had made them a promise and even signed a lease saying he would live there with them. He didn’t want to turn his back on his friends, but he wanted pursue things more with Elaine. He walked to Austin’s trailer assuming Drew would be with him. He knocked before walking in, the two other boys sitting around on the couch.

 “Oh, hey man, we wanted to talk to you. Did you want to go back home to see family before we go back to LA. I was thinking it would be easier if we all moved in one at a time.” Austin spoke without looking up from his phone.

 Rudy sighed looking at the two. Austin and Drew could tell there was something on his mind. “About that, I wanted to talk to you guys. I was thinking about getting a place with Elaine when we go back. You know, things are going so well right now, so we want to take things to the next step.” Rudy spoke in one big breath, glad he finally got it off his chest. He was looking at the boys for any signs of anger.

 “Well, you owe me twenty bucks Drew, I told you they were going to move in together.” Austin replied laughing. “okay yeah whatever, here.” Drew said digging into his pocket for a twenty throwing it his friend. Rudy was confused, “wait you guys aren’t mad?” Drew looked at him. “No, we’re not mad, we’re happy for you! But you’re going to have to help find us new roommate that’s going to be as good as you.” He replied laughing.

 “Yeah, okay why don’t you post something on craigslist, and we can meet with them on our break next weekend.” Rudy suggested feeling much better about the situation. “Let me know when you guys want to do things.” He called out while leaving the other two alone. He walked over to the photography trailer to talk to Elaine.

 “Hey babe, are you in here?” He called into the small trailer. It was made into small office for each photographer to work from. “Yeah, I’m back here Rudy.” She hollered out to him. He followed the sound of her voice to her end of the office. She was drinking a coffee, going through the photos she had taken recently. “I really love this on of Madison, she looks so natural.” Elaine handed the photo over to Rudy. “I just talked to the boys.” Rudy stated, “and they’re not mad about anything. They said I had to help them find a roommate. I think we’re going back to LA next weekend to meet with some people.” He said looking through more of her photos. “Oh, Rudy that’s great, see love I told you they wouldn’t be mad at you.” Elaine said rubbing his back slightly.

 Drew and Austin had gotten a lot of messages from people, and they finally narrowed down their list to a couple. They were going to meet at the new apartment over the weekend with Rudy. Madison had helped them come up with some good questions to ask people. It had taken all afternoon and they had finally met everyone they planned to meet. The three were sitting around eating pizza talking about everyone they had just met.

 “I just want someone were not going to be seeing all the time. It would be easier if they worked opposite to us.” Austin mention, him and Drew could put up with each other but didn’t want another person they didn’t know throwing the balance off. “Yeah, and someone with no pets, because I’m not cleaning up after someone else’s animals.” Drew added. “I don’t you guys, I think you might have to expand your horizon a little bit. What about Gavin, he seemed pretty cool.” Rudy tried reasoning with them.

 “No, not him, he smelt funny. You don’t want the house smelling like beef jerky and regret all the time.” Drew commented making the other two nodded their heads.

 “What about Evan, he said he was trying to be an actor too, that might be nice.” Austin spoke up not minding the guy.

 “Yeah, but then he’s going to asking for advice all the time, its hard when they’re first starting out and your established.” Rudy said.

 “Yeah, and he said he doesn’t drink, that’s weird.” Drew added to the other blonde’s statement.

 It was hard picking someone you were going to spend most of your time with. Drew and Austin worked close together, they’re character being friends helped them become friends.  When the weekend was up the three packed their things and headed back Charleston.

 Elaine on the other hand meeting with some friends while Rudy was one. Her friend Oliva had been in Charleston for a couple days working a case. She was a paralegal with a law firm that had a couple practices all over the country. She had been working in Georgia before taking a case in Charleston. The two girls met for coffee too catch. “I can’t believe you dropped out of law school.” Elaine spoke to the girl.

 It had always been her friends dream to become a lawyer, so her not finishing surprised her. Elaine had dropped out of nursing school to pursue her love of photography. He parents weren’t impressed but Oliva stuck by her side the whole time. The two drifted when Oliva went to Harvard and Elaine moved to LA, but they always stay in touch.

 “Yeah, well, I guess I took one for your books Siemek. Plus, I couldn’t stand the rich kids at a Harvard anymore.” Oliva grimaced think about the people she had met. Yes, Harvard was known for having the smartest students, but they were dull. It was so boring. Oliva didn’t live for a great amount of adventure, but she didn’t look for a bland life ether. “Well, what are you going to do after this case is over? Where are they offering for you to go?” Elaine asked taking another sip of her coffee.

 “Crazy story about that one, they want me to start working in LA, they have a firm there. It’s small and handles smaller cases but one of the paralegal’s are going on MAT leave so he asked me to fill in for her. I know the office I helped set it up in the beginning. I just don’t know if it would be a step down or not.” Oliva expressed to her friend. It was a big decision moving all the way to LA, though nothing was keeping her in Charlestown, and she was in a fight with her parents.

 “I think you should go for it! You would love LA, and in couple weeks Rudy and I are moving back out there together so we can hang out. I would love for you to meet all of them, they’re all so nice.” She smiled think about the friends she made over the last couple of months.

 “Yeah, but were would I even live, I was looking at places and it’s all so expensive. I would need a roommate, and nobody wants a roommate the works like 80 hours a week.” Oliva groaned thinking about all hurdles in her way.

 “Well, I actually can help with that. I know a couple of guys who are looking for a roommate and you’re exactly what they need. It would be great!” She explained, telling Oliva all about Drew and Austin. “Just wait until you meet them! I’ll text Rudy and tell him to bring them buy for coffee!” Elaine explained.

 There was nothing wrong with guys for roommates Oliva thought. She just didn’t know if she was ready to let anyone else in her life again. A lot had happened since she stopped talking to Elaine, and she didn’t want someone picking into her private life, but she also needed a job and place. How hard could it be she thought.

[gwynrielendgame]

Elucien headcanon

I don’t necessarily ship Elucien but I want both of them to be happy and I think they have the best shot of that together. I don’t understand why Elain doesn’t reject the mate bond if she supposedly hates him so much, so this is my reasoning. Enjoy!

Elain knew this conversation needed to happen. She had just been putting it off for the last two years. Another winter solstice had come and of course Feyre invited Lucien. Elain had successfully avoided Lucien the two last solstices. Her luck had run out it seemed. She didn't want to fight over how he felt he was owed her. She didn't want to fight over his odd territorial behavior considering they didn't know each other. She just didn't want to fight. Elain stood on the opposite side of the island in the kitchen. She was kneading some dough, appreciating the silence when Lucien walked in. His face told her everything. He was done letting her ignore him.

"Elain." His voice was soft in an attempt to show he didn't want an argument either. "We need to talk."

"I know." She avoided eye contact with him. Choosing instead to carefully watch the dough she continued to knead.

"I thought if I gave you some time, you would have made a decision by now. It's been 2 years and I can't keep living like this. Please just reject me." She was so surprised by his request that her head snapped up to look at him. His eyes were defeated and pleading. She hated herself for it. Could feel his sadness through the bond and wanted to ease his pain. She knew now though that it was time for honesty, not for placating him.

"I have struggled to come to terms with this mate bond. I was engaged when we met and I loved Grayson. And when I look at you, all I can see is the role you played in allowing me to be thrown into the cauldron. If you had been a man, if you had put Tamlin in his place, I never would have experienced the cauldron. I hate you for it, I know it is not what either of you intended. But I can't blame Feyre for talking to Ianthe and I can't blame Hybern because he's dead, but I can blame you. I should reject you. I want to reject you," She paused long enough for Lucien to prepare for the words. To prepare for the unbearable pain the rejection will likely cause.

"But I hear stories about Jesminda and I feel such sadness that all I want is to hold you. To take away your sadness. I look upon your golden eye and I am consumed by my rage to hurt anyone that has ever hurt you. And I see the way Feyre cares for you and I can't stop the jealousy that seeps in. I know she has her own mate and that is not the relationship you two have, but I see your inside jokes and the soft smiles you give her and I want that. I am constantly at war with myself because I want to hate you, but I can't. I want to reject you, but then I look at your face and suddenly I see the future we could have together in the spring court. I'm confused and I know 2 years is a long time but it isn't enough for me to try and untangle these feelings." She finally made eye contact with her mate. She felt the instant pull to him. The need for him in all ways. She was not open about her sexual desires, so she would deny it to no end, but he was who plagued her deepest fantasies.

"I should have stopped Tamlin. But it wasn't just Tamlin who lost Feyre. I lost her too." Lucien began to explain himself. He knew nothing he said would change her fate, but hopefully she could understand how things played out as they did.

"I knew he was making terrible decision but I knew it would be worth it in the end if we got Feyre back. You have to understand Rhysand was not the male you know him as. He presented himself as the willing participant to Amarantha's games. As though he enjoyed torture and death as much as her. I knew he could get inside someone's mind. Change their memories. Force them to see him as something different. I thought he had done that to Feyre. Had influenced her mind to hate Tamlin. To prefer the night court. I didn't see it as us ignoring Feyre's wishes to be free. I saw it as us willing to sacrifice anything to save Feyre from a man known to cut off heads and place them in the spring court for fun. If I knew then what I know now, I may not have been able to stop Tamlin, but I would have tried harder. I would have fought for Feyre's freedom. I know these words do not change your fate. Tamlin aided Hybern to save Feyre but I know even he would have left her in her supposed captors hands if he knew what your fate was to be." Lucien's eyes never left Elain's. He couldn't bare the weight of all he had done. Of all he had allowed to happen. He had moved closer to Elain during his speech and now they stood within a foot of each other. The closest they had ever been.

"I don't know where to go from here." Elain closed her hands into fists. She had to stop herself from reaching out and interlacing their hands. She wanted to groan. The mate bond hurt her head. Lucien tucked her hair behind her ear.

"I will wait however long it takes you to decide. But promise me this, if you decide you do not want this, do not want me, you will let me go. You will reject me. I can't live my life chasing after a female who will never want me. If you decide your hatred for me is too great to overcome, you will tell me, and I will leave you alone for good." His words were genuine. For the first time since learning of their mate bond, a tension left Elain's shoulders. She didn't need to make a decision right now. She could have time to decide. Her anxiety had kept her up most nights. What if she rejected him and it was a mistake? Could she take back a rejection? She knew Lucien would be kind. She knew he would love her more than anyone else ever could, but she didn't know if she wanted that love. Luckily he was gifting her the time she needed to make that choice for herself. He wasn't demanding her love based from an obligation to the Mother that created their bond.

"I promise. Thank you." It was barely above a whisper. She leaned closer to place a kiss on his cheek. The redness that washed on his face was adorable enough for the bond to tug again. As if telling Elain that it wanted, needed, more. Before she could do anything else, he was gone.

It was only after Elain saw Azriel's shadows lurking in the corner of the kitchen that she realized she should have clarified more with Lucien. Elain did not owe loyalty to Lucien, but perhaps he was under the impression they both would remain unattached while she decided. Elain wondered though if she would need to experience another relationship to truly decide about Lucien. She didn't want Lucien calling a blood fight with Azriel in defense of their mate bond. She tried to tell herself that was because she was not owed to Lucien and she could be with anyone without him attempting to kill them. But she truly knew the dread came from the fact that if Azriel and Lucien were to fight, Lucien would die.

Elain didn't think she could handle the pain she would feel at his death. She didn't know if Azriel was worth it. She genuinely liked the shadowsinger. She enjoyed his presence and sometimes found herself wishing he was her mate. It didn't change the fact that on occasion she imagined he was Lucien while they talked. That when their almost kiss had occurred last solstice, she had imagined him as Lucien. Her guilt forced her to return the beautiful necklace he gave her. She found Azriel attractive. He had also made appearances in her fantasies. It was just another piece for her to untangle during this time. She didn't want to string anyone along, but this bond made it almost impossible for her to continue anything with Azriel. No matter how much she wanted to.

[unordinary-analysis]

Episode 159

So apparently “later in the week” means ‘literally next week’ for me digiudgg

Also, I won’t be able to post the day the comic comes out because christmas and all that and family idk so I just want to say HAPPY HOLIDAYS :DD hope you guys have a nice time :))

Honorable mentions:

Very happy that the theory is thriving

I love Arlo with all of my heart and soul there i’ve finally said it

Do we know yet if Arlo knows that Cecile is working with John? I can remember the superhero posse knowing it, but did the info ever reach arlo? Comment if i forgot something lol

I’ve talked about all of the possibilities of a joker impersonator in recent posts, so I won’t go into all of that again here. You see, it’s laziness. I’m sure you guys understand lol.

I literally don’t know how to write this in a detailed way which is why it’s in the honorable mentions, but I just feel that Cecile has to just snap soon right? I’ve been hyped about her character as a whole for so long ugh, I just need some developments

I say “anyways” a lot. Is it too much? lol

Okay, first of all: Elaine:

    Elaine, elaine, elaine, elaine, elaine, you’ve finally done it. You’ve interested me.

    Harsh, I know, but honestly, she hasn’t really been doing much. I thought her character was cool to read a couple of times when she was literally terrified to death of Joker, but now I feel that her intrigue is actually due to her own self if that makes sense? Anyways-

    Moving past the obvious difference in her hair (only because I’ve already pointed that out lol), In this episode, WE GET TO SEE ELAINE IN OFFENSE MODE OEIRHGIWUHIWUH

    I’ve been hungry for some good developments on people’s powers ugh. It’s been dry ever since we saw Isen fight like forever ago. Or maybe Cecile. I don’t know. I just like to see people fighting oof. Anyway, we don’t even get much of Elaine fighting, all we see is like a block and a punch, but that’s not even really the only thing I’m excited about seeing.

    More so than other characters, Elaine has always been this docile type, you know? She’s just there whenever anyone needs healing and whenever someone needs someone to yell at them for being stupid. All Elaine ever is is worried, scared, and submissive. Well, not counting the beginning of the comic because I’m still not over that loss. Her character at the beginning of UnOrdinary? Superb. She was bitchy and yet weak at the same time. Classic combo. Anyways~ ;-; 

    Elaine is usually terrified of something and rarely stands up for herself or anything else, so seeing her stand up for herself, kind of, in this episode was really something to see. It wasn’t something big but, it was just a breath of fresh air to see a defiant side of Elaine. I wonder, is she growing more and more fed up of being weak? Is she done being scared? I don’t even know if she has the power to stop being scared, but, I don’t know. I’m kind of intrigued by the possibility of Elaine just snapping, aren’t you?

My main man: Arlo: 

    It’s got to be so weird going back to school after everything that went down, huh? Yet, the way that the safety of the school is still on Arlo’s mind? Even after he was publicly dethroned and now that everyone is staring at him wherever he goes? That’s the real evidence of what a true leader Arlo was. The best king we’ve seen in the UnOrdinary world I said what i said. And now he’s not even king anymore? Sidfhsiufhsiguh

    And the fact that Elaine went straight to him when she found a problem? It’s obvious that everyone still thinks of Arlo as the king. 

    I’m just in awe that Arlo’s first priority seems to be the school. It really… just helps paint Arlo in this different light. I’ve made countless posts talking about how he is obsessed with order because of the influence left on him by Rei and Rei’s failure, but now that his hierarchy has fallen apart, he hasn’t exactly reacted in the way I always used to think he would. And, yes, this is very late considering how long ago John ruined the hierarchy, but I haven’t talked about it yet I think so I’m here now. 

    I used to think that Arlo loved order so much. That maintaining it was his ultimate goal. I’m positive I’ve said that a few times before at least. But, it’s easy to see now that it goes deeper than that. Arlo really loves his school or at least he feels he owes it something, something that runs deeper than the surface hierarchy. And I’m not even sure if he’s always been like that or if it’s changed over the course of the story. I can’t ever seem to tell, no matter what, if Arlo’s character really has developed, or if I just never saw an aspect of him. It’s infuriating and yet so interesting at the same time…

    Anyway.

    Arlo’s rage is also something I want to touch on. It’s not exactly something new, but compared to the beginning of the story, it’s definitely something much more common recently, even though he usually is able to maintain a cool now as well. In this episode, Arlo punched a wall hard out of anger, which wouldn’t exactly be news for characters like Blyke or John, and maybe wouldn’t be for Arlo either, but I can’t help thinking about how out of character it would be for the Arlo of the comic’s beginning, at the beginning of season one. I feel that anger is something that we’re only being introduced to in regards to Arlo, like easing yourself into cold water, you know? Yeah sure, it doesn’t feel too out of character for Arlo to get so angry he literally decimates a wall, but it feels like every time he loses his cool, it either gets more over the top or it is incited by smaller and smaller things. His tendency to turn to anger is getting bigger. Arlo is angrier now than he’s ever been. 

    But, Just as I just said. I can’t tell if this is a totally new thing for Arlo, the anger, or if it’s been inside of him all along, just brewing beneath the surface, repressed in a way, similar to John. Except John knows what he’s running from. I don’t really know what I’m saying I just really love that uru-chan is tapping into Arlo’s emotions more and more as the story goes on because I can’t tell if they really are new things for Arlo or if they’re finally getting the best of him.

    Wording is hard so I have no idea if that last section makes sense.

    So: summary: I’m currently waiting for some sort of enlightenment on Arlo’s emotional state and character growth because damn

We love our dark king John: 

    So, um. John.

    He’s really something, isn’t he.

    I can never just hate him… no matter what he does… because everything he does is just so interesting. 

    Anyway back on topic. John’s current motives are actually really interesting. I’m not sure if I’ve talked about this yet because to be honest every time I write one of these, I rarely ever go back to see what I’ve already written in previous weeks and I never just remember because once I post one of these, you can bet that it’s out of mind. I know that John really just wants to create chaos. That’s clear enough. He stated basically that Arlo when he said he was taking down the hierarchy. But the thing is, I really don’t get why John is so for chaos? Like? I understand taking down the hierarchy because everything John hates about life, about his life, it really has stemmed from this system, the hierarchy. And finally after Arlo proved once again that the hierarchy could do nothing but hurt him, John vows to destroy it. Makes sense. And when the hierarchy is destroyed, obviously chaos is going to occur. That’s inevitable. We saw something similar with Rei and just basic sense seems to suggest that people do not not know how to function when there aren’t rules to follow. That’s chaos. Got that. But while John’s hate for the hierarchy and motive to destroy it make sense and the natural path that follows that leads to chaos, it’s John’s particular want for this chaos that keeps throwing me off.

    I don’t get why John wants chaos. I don’t get it. I don’t, okay? You know, he was a lot easier to understand when the only things he had going on were a. Lie to sera and b. Take down the hierarchy. But, yay, he’s achieved those things (some more successfully than others), and now..?? Why would John want chaos?

    I’m just repeating myself in hopes of making sense of my own thoughts but I can’t. I really don’t know why John seems so keen for Wellston running itself into the ground.

    So I’m deadass going to leave this here until I can think properly or something iuwfisuhg. I don’t know. It’s kind of late and I have to be up early tomorrow.

Some developments on the imposter Joker theory:

    Yeah, so, this isn’t really a theory aymore. It’s kind of proven now, but still it’s an easy way to refer to the whole situation. Anyway, on my longer post before specifically on this, I pointed out that because it used to be a common belief among low-tiers that Tuesday (back when he still was Tuesday) was Arlo, even though Arlo’s eyes glow blue and John’s glow orange. So: I said that it was likely that students can’t see the color of the eye glow or whatever through the mask. 

    This was only supported by this episode because not once does Elaine mention the color of the imposter’s eyes when determining that it is indeed an imposter. She thinks, “Wait a minute…! Something isn’t right here! That’s not John! …. This imposter’s ability level is nothing compared to the real Joker!” And that’s about it. So. Yeah. I think I was right about the eye thing. Not much else to say lol.

        Something else I want to say about the Joker imposter thing is that it really doesn’t matter who each imposter is. We wasted breath trying to think of who the first imposter was and if they don’t keep the same one, it doesn’t really matter. So because this imposter was not the same as the last, I think we can move on from this particular guessing game.

[rhysand-vs-fenrys]

I admit that when I read ACOFAS I was absolutely crushed at how Nesta was portrayed. It felt like a betrayal of the female we all know and love. But then I read your post-ACOFAS thing about Nesta and how you've portrayed her in all of your fics including the new one (!). You have a way of reminding people that she's a horrible person while also holding out such amazing hope for what she can be, if only she can find her way again. It's merciless mercy and I love you for that (1/2).

Thank you for the asks!

And can I just say- thank you for reading what I wrote with an open mind and then taking what you read and considering it. Too too often on tumblr people take the stance of “Only I’m right and everyone else is stupid”, and that’s a spectacularly unhealthy way to live a life. It’s refreshing to know there are others on here who consider things!

I’m seriously looking forward to what Maas does in the next novel to redeem Nesta. Yeah, sure, in one book she’s been a victim (FAS), but that doesn’t make her some saint or erase all the bad she’s brought to people around her. In TAR and MAF she was a stone-cold bitch, and I was legit rooting for her to die by Chapter 3 of TAR, not gonna lie. Book 3 actually showed us Nesta’s potential, but I think the step back we see from her in FAS is her reeling from the simple fact that she killed a dying man. Like- Elain stabbed Hybern through the throat, danger over. Nesta didn’t just take the knife out- she fucking twisted it over and over again until the head was off. That’s a level of brutality you’d never think she was capable of- and I think it will be part of what she works through in Novel 4.

As far as if I know a Nesta IRL… It’s hard to answer that in anything less than a novel. The general gist of it is that I base Nesta on my last 5 closest friends.

From People #1 and #2 the biggest lesson I learned was that it isn’t wrong to know when to sever the ties. I do think as a friend you have an obligation to try to help someone, but there is a certain point where you have to say that enough is enough and just walk away before you’re drowned too. I exhausted myself on person #1, I seriously did. A year later was the falling out with Person #2 partly because I just had nothing left to give. So People #1 and #2 mostly influenced how I approach Cassian.

Person #3 taught me that you don’t owe bitches anything. If someone treats you like shit, walk away. Just because that person says the word “friend” to you and gets sappy once a week does not excuse all those times they called you a piece of shit and then demanded you apologize for making them feel that they needed to call you that because being mean to you somehow hurts them more.

I did take elements of Nesta from People #4 and #5, but mostly the dynamic that sometimes people just bring out the worst in each other (you’ll see that more later in the fic). And I include myself in that, for the record. I’m far from perfect. It doesn’t make me sorry we no longer associate, but I do understand that we were mutually toxic.

So Nesta is a Frankenstein of a lot of stuff (there are also some fascinating characters and a few quotes that went into forming her character), but that’s why I like writing her. She’s complex. I genuinely believe she’ll be fine and after Novel 4 people will look on FAS kinder. I think people just got so wrapped up in their own headcanons that they forgot actual-canon.

Thanks again for the ask!!

[thefangirlthatwaited]

A Genshin Impact Story - Autumn Morning

Zhongli x Original Female Character

 "So, where's Lumine?" I ask as we sit outside the  Angel Shares booth. "She had a commission from the adventurers guild. After that, she said she was going to head back to Liyue. See if any new ships are heading to Inazuma." I didn't get to say goodbye. Darn. The sun begins to set and the festival comes to a close for the day so Venti and I return to the city. Venti is going over the song that he has to perform tomorrow when I run into someone. I stumble a bit and Venti doesn't even realize it as he continues forward. A hand reaches out stopping me from falling to the ground. "I'm sorry, I wasn't watching where I was going," I said hastily before looking up to see who I crashed into.

My heart stops when I look into the stranger's eyes. It was just like when I met Kaeya. His eyes were like mine. He stares back at me just as shocked. "Elaine?" He whispers. Elaine, who's Elaine? "Chyou! There you are. Venti and I spent a few days looking for you." I turn to see Lumine standing being the man. "I was out exploring. Sorry to worry you." My answer felt automatic as my eyes never left the mystery man. He two was staring at me, especially when I didn't respond to the name he called me. Lumine notices the tension finally and introduces us. "Chyou, this is Dainsleif. Dainsleif, this is my friend Chyou from Liyue." "From Liyue you say?" Chyou nods to Dainsleif. "We should get going." She says trying to get Dainsleif to move. "Yeah, I need to catch up to Venti. I don't think he realized I'm not with him anymore. Talk to you later, Lumine?" I made sure she knew I needed an explanation on this. "Of course." I nod then take off after Venti, giving one last look at Dainsleif before he and Lumine leave the city.

Venti didn't even realize I was gone by the time I caught up to him. He was lost in his own world. When I got to my house I waved him off wanting to be alone again after this new revelation. These are two people I've met now that have my eyes. It left me with more questions than answers. On top of that Dainsleif called me Elaine. Who is Elaine and why do I remind him of her? I laid in bed all night, my mind wandering trying to piece together the nothing I have. When the sun rises and I see the sunlight coming through the window I give up on the sleep I knew would never come and who this mystery person was. I dress and head to the Good Hunter for some breakfast. I find Venti waiting for me with a plate of eggs. "What do I owe the pleasure?" "Lumine found me last night. Told me about Dainsleif." "When?" "Late in the evening." "Oh." "And by the dark rings under your eyes, I can tell you didn't get much sleep." "I didn't." Venti looked guilty. "Don't" I grumble. "Don't what?" "Look at me like that. You can't say anything and I understand that now."

Full chapter on Ao3

[galfridus1]

Congratulations on reaching 500 followers. I’m so happy for you. If possible coud you write a Meliodas/Margaret fic? Prompt 10 please.

Hi. Thank you very much and thanks too for the ask. Really sorry it’s taken this long to answer. This pair are… a challenge.

Thanks Beth for writing these with me. @maybeishouldwait has written a much better response to this prompt so definitely go take a look. This is a pale affair by comparison but it was inspired by this story.

“This does not feel like a very productive use of my time,” Margaret lamented as she glared at the screen, her eyes fixed on the flashing images in grey. “I do have spreadsheets to finish. And I would like to leave on time today, I think Gil has plans.”

“The boss sure is a hard taskmaster.” Meliodas did not look up in favour of tracking the grainy CCTV footage playing on the old fashioned television. He reached for the remote control to fast forward through the endless picture of nothing, but Margaret stopped him, gently laying a hand on top of the device.

“We need to do this properly, Meliodas.” Margaret sighed, blinking her eyes furiously before returning to her task. “Zeldris will not be pleased if we don’t find the culprit.”

“So? Who cares which of us took Gowther’s lunch? It’s just a lunch!” Meliodas huffed, but he reluctantly fixed his eyes back on the screen. “You know what Gowther’s like, he might not have brought one to work in the first place…”

“No he did. Look!” Margaret pointed at the screen and, sure enough, there was Gowther, prancing into the small break room attached to the office, placing some sort of box into the fridge. “Someone must have stolen it. I checked the fridge myself, it definitely was not in there.”

“So…” Meliodas sighed, placing his hands behind his head. “This sort of thing happens in offices all the time. Only Zeldris is pedantic enough to take any notice, let alone go to these lengths.” Stretching his legs a bit, he adjusted his position in his uncomfortable, hard plastic chair, resenting his superior more than at any point in the last forty-eight hours.

“It’s important,” Margaret protested, her brow furrowing slightly. “We need to be able to trust one another, otherwise…”

“You trust Ludoshel, I suppose?” Meliodas enquired. He did his best to keep his voice light and disinterested, but inside he felt the tick of annoyance. The new guy had been nothing but a thorn in his side since the day he had walked through the doors. Ludoshel frequently used his phone without asking, looming over him, booming down the line as he invaded his personal space. Meliodas had complained to Zeldris about it, and had been told in no uncertain terms to sit back and accept the situation. Despite being new, Ludoshel was rapidly earning himself a solid reputation as one of the best sales reps in the company. This would be fine, but Meliodas knew for a fact he kept stealing colleagues’ leads, his included.

“Well… I’m sure he’s a nice man underneath it all,” Margaret murmured. “Maybe we should take him out for drinks, get to know him a bit better.”

“He’ll probably poison your pint,” Meliodas cautioned as he watched black and white images of this co-workers as they made coffees and ate what could only be described as an obscene amount of biscuits. “And they’re impossible too!” he added, pointing at two women who were huddled in a corner of the kitchen, laughing their heads off.

“They are… a little irritating on occasion certainly,” Margaret said soothingly, her lips pressed slightly together. “But they mean no harm.”

“How can you say that?” Meliodas left his task to stare at Margaret, his expression incredulous. “They yell at each other. All the time. It’s practically screaming.”

“Oh that’s just Diane and Elaine, they’re only being enthusiastic,” Margaret murmured, her eyes resolutely fixed forward. “It’s nothing really.”

“You know, Escanor says it’s a breach of his human rights.” Meliodas grinned, leaning forwards slightly as the man himself came into view on the screen, bespectacled head bowed as he made his way to the coffee machine. “If he had more guts he’d do something about it. They sit next to him. It must be torture. And they talk nonsense. Yesterday…”

“You exaggerate,” Margaret said soothingly. “And this is a distraction. We need to… Oh!”

Margaret’s exclamation made Meliodas sit up straight, his mouth dropping open as he saw Merlin of all people fishing about in the fridge and pulling out a box which looked suspiciously like the one Gowther had sequestered there earlier.

“It… might be her own lunch…” he muttered, hissing slightly as Merlin removed the lid. She gave the contents a sniff before methodically throwing the whole lot into the bin, covering it up with a newspaper left lying on one of the tables for good measure. Unsure of how to process the sight he had just seen, Meliodas leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees, his eyes wide as saucers.

“I… find this hard to believe,” Margaret spluttered. The normally unflappable woman, the pillar of calm, the source of all sanity in what was otherwise bedlam looked to be on the point of collapse. “Why would she do this?”

“Honestly? Not a clue.” Meliodas chuckled, laughter bubbling up in his throat as he watched Merlin calmly heating her own lunch up in the microwave. “Come on, don’t be like that! It’s amusing!” he added as Margaret rounded on him, her eyes hard. “Precious little fun around here now that Ban’s gone.”

With some apparent effort, Margaret resisted this proffered bait. She rubbed her eyes and Meliodas felt a momentary stab of concern. She did look tired.

“Now we have to do something about this…” Margaret murmured, her shoulders drooping. “Zeldris is not going to be happy.” Meliodas smiled inwardly at her observation. Merlin was a top quality analyst. Not only was she the go to person for collecting massive amounts of data on potential customers she knew what to do with it. Leads from Merlin led to big sales, and the boss liked her. Only last week he had ordered her the most ostentatious wrap-around desk, which Merlin kept pristinely clean and tidy, lording her good fortune over all and sundry. ‘Not happy’ was a decided understatement.

“This is simple,” Meliodas said lightly, his hands once more round the back of his head. “We just need to give her a taste of her own medicine - no hear me out!” he added as Margaret opened her mouth to protest. “The boss is not going to tell her off right? She’s her and Gowther’s, well, Gowther…” He could see from Margaret’s face he  did not need to expand on his point. Gowther was very far from the most effective employee in the office. Only last week, after a mix up with his calendar appointments, the boss had yelled so loudly from his private office that the whole floor had heard it.  

“We just have to give her a taste of her own medicine,” Meliodas said thoughtfully. “Then she’ll understand that we know about her activities, and that it’s not worth her while pulling stunts like this.”

“I’m not sure about this…” Margaret began.

“I’m not suggesting anything really bad,” Meliodas consoled. “Just… making her life a little unpleasant for a bit. Didn’t Zeldris put you in charge of the office seating reorganisation?”

“Yes, but I don’t see…”

“So, why not give Escanor a bit of a break?” Meliodas suggested. “Diane and Elaine are due a move…”

“Oh! I see what you’re getting at. Yes that could work,” Margaret gushed, her lips curving in a smile. “This is what I love about you, you always think of these things.”

“It’s a lifetime of practice,” Meliodas said breezily, standing to leave. “Come on, we’ve been in this cupboard long enough. Let’s…”

“Wait,” Margaret called as she also rose to her feet, “what are we going to tell the boss?”

“Nothing. We’ll just say we sorted it out ourselves and it won’t happen again. He likes that kind of initiative. We’ll let the word out quietly that Merlin owes her new place in the office to karma and there will be no more trouble. That I can guarantee.”

“Maybe I’ll put Ludoshel next to them as well,” Margaret mused, bowing her head slightly in acknowledgement as Meliodas held the door open for her. “Or is that a bit petty?”

“No! That’s a great idea!” Meliodas grinned broadly, his eyes shining with glee as Margaret left him to fulfill her errand.

[verifiefangirl]

Tenerife Sea

||Summary: Nesta Acheron had been feeling the aftereffects of the war, slowing drowning in her anguish. Everywhere she turned her failures greeted her. She had managed to push everyone away, but one person refused to budge. His insufferable smile taunted her. Cassian. Even his name sent her blood roaring. She was happy to go under, into the ageless dark but he kept leaving her afloat

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 |

Chapter 5

Nesta’s eyes swallowed up Feyre’s livid features as she stared directly at Cassian with her lips pursed.

“Alone.” She spewed out, shaking slightly. Cassian stared at her calculatingly and nodded once he found what he was looking for her. Nesta grabbed his arm as he moved and winced at the pain the sudden movement caused her.

She jutted her chin out stubbornly and hissed through the pain.

“Whatever you have to say to him you do in front of me also.”

Feyre glowered at her in return and crossed her arms in front of her as she stared between the two of them, lingering especially on the two’s entwined fingers. Nesta held her stare with her ice grey eyes but didn’t drop Cassian’s hand.

Whatever Feyre saw made her face soften and she let out a defeated sigh before plopping down on the free seat. She took her other free hand and grasped in between her own.

“What happened today?” She asked, looking at Nesta but knew the question was more so directed at Cassian who looked down at his feet guilty.

“I’m sorry Feyre.” He told her with an elongated sigh as he slowly sat down at the edge of Nesta’s bed, never once letting go of her fingers. She liked the feel of his rough callouses on his hands. Those hands had been through so much, had learned so much, had experienced such joys and horrors. Her thumb unwittingly started stroked the back of his hand as a comforting and soothing gesture. His body shuddered lightly and he she watched him relax only slightly. She couldn’t understand the feeling of sadness going through her for him. She didn’t like that despondent look on his face. He looked more like a sad little boy than the Night Courts Army Commander.

“I let you down and should have kept a better grip of things.” Nesta gritted her teeth and glared at Cassian this time.

“It wasn’t Cassian fault.” She told her sister. The two looked at her in surprise that she was defending the oversized brute. “I don’t blame him.” She told her sister stubbornly. She didn’t like the idea of anyone making Cassian feel worse than he already felt.

“She and I both knew what we were doing.” Nesta spewed out, not daring to utter the blonde wenches name. Feyre watched her like she was peering into her soul and discovered something she hadn’t seen before which left her furrowing her brows. Nesta squirmed uncomfortably and for the first time, looked away, from a person’s stare.

“Alright,” Feyre spoke softly now staring at Cassian with gentle expression her face though wearisomeness still marred her feature. She scanned overs her form. Cassian cleared his throat and shifted uncomfortably.

“I’ll be right back.” He told them, seeming to get the cue that Feyre was trying to send him. “I’m just going to bring Nes something to eat.”  She hated the multiple nicknames he seemingly had for her but some she let him get away with each and every one.

Once Cassian had vacated the room Feyre a brushed a tender hand through her hair, something which Nesta also allowed her to do. She liked her space and hardly ever liked people touching her, even more so after the Thomas episode.

“How are you feeling?” She asked. Sometimes Nesta felt like she was the younger sister. Days like this she hated herself for robbing Feyre of her childhood and other days it was unbearable to live the guilt and burdened of all the times she had messed up in her life and the moments she wished she could change.

“I feel like shit,” Nesta said bluntly. She wasn’t one to sugar-coat things as she looked into Feyre’s eyes. So alike hers yet they were so different. Feyre’s eyes held warmth, kindness and life. Nesta was just cold, lifeless and calculating.

“Did the Madja give you something for the pain?” She watched Feyre’s face fall at the thought of her being in unbearable pain. So, she gently reached for her sister’s hand and squeezed gently.

“Cassian said she did. Maybe it takes a while to set in.” Nesta explained.

Feyre gazed at her in that way again, like she knew all her secrets and she had to resist the urge to squirm. Nesta Archeron did not squirm or let anyone make her feel anything she didn’t want to feel.

“Cassian huh?” Feyre prodded, slyly but her face still very much so serious. Nesta blinked back her surprise at the direction the interrogation was going and the fact she had referred to him by his name rather than a brute or oversized bat. The displeasure must have shown on her face because Feyre had a wry smile on her face as she gently patted her hand on top Nesta’s grip.

“He’s one of the good guys, Nesta.”  Feyre spoke with fondness to her tone. She didn’t know why she was finding it hard to hold Feyre’s gaze all the sudden. Instead, she studied the interesting patterns of her quilted blanket. Of course, he was a good guy and she was just some heinous monster to everyone who didn’t deserve Cassian according to Mor.

“I know.” Her agreement with the statement startled both. Nesta liked acting aloof. She used her ice and barbs as an armour and without it she was nothing. She was open to any attack, she felt too much, too hard. Those blows would not bruise but cut deep with the knives they’d throw twisting deeper and deeper. Her eyes shuttered again, and she broke away from Feyre.

Her sister knew she was divulging into feelings too deep. Things Nesta didn’t know if she wanted to come to terms with yet.

“You should get some rest,” Feyre said, standing, indicating to her departure. “I’ll get Nuala and Cerridwen to run you a bath later.” Her heart quickened at the thought of sitting in one, but she had been getting slightly better lately, hence why Feyre had mentioned it.

She gave her one last tender brush before leaving out the bedroom door, clashing with Cassian in the entryway. She watched her sister give him an encouraging pat before shooting her a meaningful look over her shoulder.

Cassian’s gaze turned questioningly onto Nesta when she had left. He had a whole tray of food in tow which had Nesta’s stomach grumbling in hunger.  

She ignored his pointed stare and grabbed some bread and assorted meats off the platter. The food in Velaris really was better and spiced to perfection. She withheld her moan and continued to devour the food in front of her. Once she was full, she leaned back onto the bed, satisfied.

Cassian took it all in silently. Their eyes met across the bed and he still had the shameful look in his eye. She growled.

“Will you stop beating yourself up. This,” she told him, gesturing to her bruised body. “is not your fault.”

Cassian head was hung low and his beautiful wings were tucked in tight, almost curling around himself protectively. He looked like a fallen warrior more than the confident cocky man he was. Her heart clenched painfully at the sight.

“I’m always letting you down, Nes.” He told her softly. She scooted to the edge of the bed slowly and sat across from his chair.

“You don’t owe me anything.” She told him, firmly, hoping he’d get it in his mind. Cassian did everything for everyone. So selfless, he seemed to forget his worth sometimes, but she would not let this brave man forget. This man who crawled and fought his way to her, protecting and serving her family. All for what? Nothing. He got no glory or fame for it, no reward.

“I made a promise to you.” He told her, voice breaking, still refusing to look up at her.

“And you have fulfilled it a thousand over.” She told him, her tone soft for once. She gently grabbed his face with both her hands and made him meet her gaze.

His eyes were filled with sadness, yet he peered at her like she was the most beautiful, breathtaking, creature he’d seen. She had never had someone gaze at her in such way, Elain sure. She was the most beautiful sister. Most people avoided Nesta like the plague.

One of his calloused hands came up and rested atop of her hand and she watched him nuzzle into her hold. The pad of her thumb slowly stroked his cheek and she could feel the stubble that was forming there. Her breath caught as she realised slowly but surely, she was falling for this playfully, strong and loving brute. It was like an ice, cold slap to the face and she was left reeling. Cassian seemed to pick up on this.

“What’s wrong?” He asked worriedly. Concern was written all over his face. She wanted to recoil from him and hide. She wanted to stop feeling the way she was feeling but seeing him here, in front of her, so, concerned, so willing to give her everything, she decided to take the plunge into the dark and let herself open a little.

“You’re exquisite.” She told him, breathlessly. He looked at her with disbelief, astonishment marring his features at such a sentiment. He enlaced his fingers through hers, eyes shuttering as he pressed his forehead against hers once again.

“Nesta Archeron, you are the most beautiful, deadly, witty, being to ever grace this land.” Her heart stopped at the utter irreverence in his tone. Their breaths mingled together, and she found his was just as uneven as hers. Her eyes honed into those pink lips and the small scar near his bottom lip. His mouth tilted up to one side in a half smile as he peered at her with half-lidded eyes.

“Just don’t tell Amren that.” She didn’t have control over the snort that came out of her mouth. Her friend loved all things beautiful and liked to be complimented equally as much.

“What if I do?” She asked her voice coming out husky and full of want. His nose brushed against hers softly.

“I’ll be a dead man.” His speech equally as thick.

“I’m still not seeing the problem.” She taunted as one of his hands slid down and caressed the side of her arms. She had to repress the shivers that were wracking through her body from the touch. He leaned in ever so slowly and kissed one corner of her mouth, gently.

“Now do you see the problem?” He asked deep with desire.

“N-no.” She stumbled, hooking one of her arms around the back of his neck. She was practically on his lap. “I’m going to need more convincing.” His lips tilted into that arrogant smile she loved so much. Her heart stuttered. He leaned in again and kissed the other corner of her mouth before leaning back and quirking a brow.

“How about now?” He asked gruffly.

“Nope.” She said stubbornly, shaking her head as she gripped his face in her hands again. Before he could say anything further she crushed her lips to his in angry, violent kiss. She was mad at him, for teasing her. For making her feel this. For making her want him. The tortured groan he released had her toes curling in pleasure. He laid his broad hand on her lower back to steady her as she was perched quite precariously on his lap.

His lips reciprocated her assault with a gentle coaxing as his other hand slipped to the back of her head, weaving into her hair. Her teeth snagged onto his bottom lip and all his muscles coiled under her as he was jolted. Another sound of pleasure left his mouth. Nesta realised she liked those sounds and continued. She felt his wings flare out and cocoon around them. She pressed closer to him and ran her fingers down his chest. His lips left hers and ventured down her neck. Her mind flashed back to the other time they had been in her room and how he’d done the same thing.

“Cassian.” She mumbled, gasping. Her eyes flickered shut as he continued.

They stayed embraced for a while and she didn’t know when it was that Cassian had managed to make her stop attacking his mouth with brutal ferocity and instead slow, lazy kisses. Her legs remained on either side of him and her fingers twining into his hair playfully. Both Cassian’s hands rested on her ass as he light-heartedly nipped at her lips. She let out a small humming noise at the wholesome feeling that filled her.

She felt the bond they shared roaring at her more than ever now. She tried to ignore it as much as possible since she found out, but it was times like these that it refused to stay unacknowledged.

He pulled back to stare at her, seeming to know her mind had wander elsewhere.

“Hey.” He uttered in a soft tone. “Come back to me.” He told her. She kissed his chin and let a small smile slip. He looked at her in wonderment whenever she did that, smiled. It filled her with warm feelings. He ran his thumb over her puffy lips and she shuddered against him.

Her steel gaze softening into liquid metal. She roved her lips over his neck lazily and buried her face in the crook, breathing in his scent.

“Stay.” She uttered the words that said so little but meant so much to the both of them. Whereas Cassian was a giving person Nesta wasn’t as forthcoming with everything. The double meaning weighed heavily on her and Cassian seemed to grasp the meaning of what she was asking.

“I never left, sweetheart and I never will for as long as you want me.” He spoke, resolutely.   

I’m planning this to be either 8 or 10 parts.

tags: @lady-nesta-archeron @krm00623  @dreamingofazriel @watermelonwiggle17 @a-trifling-matter @cmhmama @pattyb324-blog @rhysand-darling @maddieimhot @darlingfireheart @kaliejane26  @dreamilyzealousbird @dayanna-hatter @mylifeisafangirl @aelinashgalathynius @urbisie

[mesmusae]

Elain: The Mating Bond

I think this is an important one to make in terms of my interpretations about Elain’s feelings when it comes to the bond, her actions and feelings around it. Because we still don’t have her perspective, this is entirely obviously speculation, but speculation I’m basing off what we have, and what i think makes sense about the situation. And please note, that nothing I say is necessarily against Lucien. Just more, how his actions are being perceived by her and why she responds in the way that she does. This is purely for character development. Not a statement for or against Elain or Lucien. 

So one thing that I think plays largely into her feelings around the bond is how it was addressed to her. She’d just been basically waterboarded, nearly drowned, after being kidnapped and held hostage. She’s practically exposed to a bunch of strangers (because wet nightgown....doesn’t leave much to the imagination). Then she watched the same thing happen to her sister while a strange man is wrapping his coat around her (do not misinterpret this mention. I love this moment and found it cute as hell and is one of the reasons I do still ship the).  but remember, at this time, Lucien had entered, standing by Spring. He left with Spring and her sister. Regardless of his outward argument against what was happening, he ultimately was on the side of the people who hurt her and her sisters. And as her sister comes to take her away from the male who happened to be standing with the very people that had caused that to happen, he suddenly makes the claim “You’re my mate.” 

Now, we know Elain knows a little about mates. But not much, as Feyre and Rhys were only open about it during the second meeting, the one that she was kidnapped shortly after. So while she knows it’s important to some degree, we don’t know how much exactly she knows. Other than between Rhys and Feyre it clearly became Romantic. And Elain is in love with someone else as we know. So even under the BEST circumstances for that statement to be claimed (well maybe not the best because that would include them being in a situation like Rhys and Feyre where he didn’t tell her while they’re totaly strangers. But it absolutely wouldn’t have been during one of the most traumatic moments of her life), she would have been against it. Her heart belonged to someone else and she wouldn’t have been interested in Lucien. 

Now flash forward to him being in the castle. She can feel his heartbeat. And I think we all agree, that’s kind of cute. But I think to her, it’s terrifying. Especially when it’s mixed with her trying to process her trauma AND the fact that she’s getting visions and no one understands that yet. Her feelings around the bond still, it’s likely reminding her of that trauma (cause I imagine she also felt it in the brief time he held her when he gave her his jacket in Hybern so it would draw her back to that). 

Flash forward to the Graysen confrontation. I know fandom rags on her for “whining and moping” about her wedding in the middle of all of that. When in reality, of all the traumas she was experiencing at once, that one was the likely the easiest to focus on and begin processing. Elain was absolutely coming to terms with losing Graysen. But as someone who is clearly a hopeless romantic,I think it’s obvious that she hoped he might look passed everything and still love her. That their love would triumph the fear, and I think that was in part knowing that Feyre left as a human to go be with Tamlin. (Even if that didn’t work out. Hopeless romantics don’t always acknowledge that part). And in the end, Graysen rejected her. But he didn’t just reject her. He told Elain that she belonged to Lucien. As if she didn’t get a say in the matter. As if her feelings on the situation didn’t count. So not only did she not get a choice in becoming fae, didn’t get a choice in whether or not she was given that gift from the cauldron, and didn’t get a choice on the mating bond itself, her choice of who she loves and wants to be with is also being taken away. And this is where she first rejects the bond. Unfairly, Lucien isn’t there to hear this. But she has expressed a rejection of the bond. 

There’s also the brief bits in ACOWAR of Elain showing....something towards Lucien. Like when he was leaving for the continent and her semi0step forward that feyre says was “as if to say something. to stop him” but isn’t necessarily the case. And then the end of acoward, when after being prompted by Feyre, she invites him to stay in the night court. I have 3 theories about why that changed after this 1) It was just a high from the success of everything (given it basically happened immediately after), and then trauma hit again. 2) She felt she had to because of that nudge from Feyre. And that perhaps she owed him that much for his part in bringing Vassa and her father back, so it was less a genuine desire to have him there and more obligation from the beginning. or 3) That something happened in the time between acowar and acofas that changed things. And I’m kind of inclined to lean to the third. But less that it was a specific event.

And of course, we have to factor in the feelings she has for Az. Because those exist. And i view them as she’s kind of growing to see him as like...a knight in shining armor kind of. He has come to her rescue several times. He’s the one that listened and figured out what was going on with her Visions. And he gave her Truth teller for protection. He rescued her in Hybern’s camp. Like, it might very well be a crush on him because he’s her savior, but it’s grown with time. (And that part in the Az bonus chapter is going to leave her hurting for a while).

Now this is the part that fandom gets really up in arms about. And I think it’s a little much? Like it feels like they only look at the actions through Lucien’s perspective, or our outsider perspective and don’t even care enough to try seeing it through Elain’s. And so this is something I’m going to put a Real Life example of to compare. It’s not Identical of course, but there are similarities.

So we have Lucien, who comes to the Night Court for some business in regards to the human lands. And then he just goes and spends time with Elain. and We don’t know much of these interactions. We don’t know how they start, we don’t know what’s said in them. All we know is that Elain does like...all the little polite things, but is clearly keeping him at a distance. Now I think it’s two fold. 1) I think she feels like Lucien is only interested in her because of the bond. Now, we might know better...though honestly, i don’t think there’s much more there to say otherwise beyond the thought of feeling like Elain was thrown at him and comparing her mentally to Jessminda. And i think the second part is likely a mix of the other options. 

That being said, we get pretty clear body language Elain is genuinely uncomfortable in Lucien’s presence. From the way her demeanor changes when she thinks it’s Nesta at the door and opens it to find Lucien, to the relief she shows that Feyre notes when Lucien delines the invitation to stay the night. And when she jumps to do what any gracious host should have from the start, which is get refreshments (the kinds of things she was raised to do and told she’d never be anything more than). Yes, to leave Lucien’s company.

AND EVEN LUCIEN UNDERSTANDS. When Feyre asks him if he would want anything to do with Elain if their positions were reversed, he cannot truthfully tell her he would. So even he has some understanding of the situation from Elain’s perspective. 

He also rejects the idea of spending time in the night court to spend getting to know Elain at Feyre’s request. Yes, his reasoning is solid. She likely wouldn’t want to spend that much time with him. But it would have been a good place to get a solid start making ties in the night court and showing her it wasn’t just about the bond. Also, let’s not forget, Lucien himself says he can’t stand to be with her. You think that isn’t radiating off him? That it doesn’t make everything feel like even more of an obligation to her? And makes her feel like he’s only doing things because he feels obligated? Like even if he genuinely wants a connection, (which he turned down Feyre’s ‘hey maybe try to get to know her’ intitally soooo who knows) and isn’t pursuing it because he feels like he has to, that statement alone, mixed with giving her unasked for gifts and trying to have small talk with her, doesn’t help his case at all.

Like. The girl could feel his heartbeat in the house of wind through the stones. And we think that she can’t feel it still? That him not being able to stand being near her wouldn’t have an affect on that? Like it is the worst thing in the world to feel like someone only pretends to care about you. (Please note, I don’t think Lucien is pretending to care. But I think he feels forced/obligated because of the mating bond and the effect it has on males versus females). Like I’m glad I was going through that part again, because that changes a LOT. And maybe the not being able to stand being near her stems from her not making an effort. Maybe it stems from just...her. We don’t know. Maybe both? And maybe her uncomfortableness grew upon noticing that he couldn’t stand being near her yet tried. Maybe it started before that. or again, maybe both.

Ultimately, I think Elain resents the mating bond itself. She didn’t want it. She wanted Graysen. She didn’t want to be fae. And the mating bond is one of the most uniquely fae things. Then there’s all the ties to her trauma. The fact that the mating bond and it’s forming are directly linked back to everything that happened in Hybern.

And none of this is also taking into account the OTHER things going on. AKA the outside pressure. Nesta and Feyre got to know their mates freely. They didn’t have the knowledge of the bond over their heads. And they got to know their mates and accept their bonds without everyone knowing of it’s existence. Elain does not get that luxury. Not only does everyone know, but they discuss it. Feyre still tries to nudge Elain that way. Rhys fucking interfered with a kiss because of the bond, even though they both know how she feels about the bond. Nesta and Feyre didn’t get that. Well, Nesta got that a little bit from Cassian, but...he was the other party, not an outside party who shouldn’t have involvement. Elain and Lucien do not have that luxury. 

No matter what happens, there’s gonna have to be a behavior change from both of them. What I want more than anything (and is something I’d love to rolepaly) is them getting to know eachother outside the night court. I want Elain to gain some freedom from her family and relying on her safety net. And i want Lucien to fulfill a real desire in her that isn’t just based on a few small things he only knows the surface about. I want him to take her places, and show her the world. I want them to open up to each other about Graysen and Jessminda. And I want Elain to see that she and Lucien have a lot of things in common and that he really is a good person. 

I want them to have a genuine friendship. I kind of want the bond rejected regardless. Like. I want Elain to say she doesn’t want that. But because the air is cleared, it kind of frees them. And I want them to feel free of expectations and find that they can get along.

[rocknrollsalad-moved]

Day one of the December Prompt List: Street Lamp

This was a tough one for me. I’m not sure how well I used it but I wrote something. I’m not going to judge this too hard. Just calling it practice. 

The last time Bruce flew into LAX he was eleven, his aunt sent him to space camp, complete with a plane ride to Florida. Bruce protested the entire time. From having to go to having to fly alone, he did nothing but complain. And enjoyed every second of the trip. One of the highlights of his youth. Knowing full well she was trying to buy some good behavior out of him, Bruce couldn’t find it in him to care after meeting NASA scientists.

All other trips out of state were by train or bus or didn’t come again until he’d moved away. Now, a full grown adult who should have visited home years ago, Bruce was sitting on a private plane running away from nightfall with those he was closest with.

In the seat beside him sat his cousin Jen, the reason he was on this trip. Tony and Pepper were towards the back of the plane and arguing like they were the only ones on board. Something Bruce found himself used to after having spent enough time in the company of either of them.

Jen, on the other hand, was having a harder time keeping her mouth closed. Her running commentary that was woven between sentences of her conversation with Bruce had gone from very hushed to loud enough to not be ignored. Tony was digging his heels in on an issue that didn’t even need a discussion. Watching both Pepper and Jen get increasingly annoyed with him was equal parts amusing and scary. Tony didn’t stand a chance.

By the time cityscapes turned into fields and open plains Pepper had ended the argument by refusing to have it any longer. Tony sulked but had snapped out of it in time for the four of them to sit together enjoying dinner.

The jet set life was always thrilling to Jen, who was having a hard time eating just her own food. Bruce never once stopped her and as the meal progressed his plate moved for easier access as his cousin squealed with mouthfuls of food and thanked everyone for bringing her along.

With a lull in conversation stretching out longer than was comfortable, Tony stepped up to fix that as he always did.

“Alright, on three, everyone says the age they lost their virginity.”

As Tony counted down, he earned a slap in the chest from Pepper and honest answers from Bruce and Jen. Twenty-four and sixteen respectively. The answers silenced the plane, even the engines seemed to take a pause in shock. At least for the moment it took for exclamations to break the silence.

Jen and Bruce both turned to each other with a shocked “what?!”

Tony let out a confused but quiet “Jesus.”

Pepper hushed Tony if for no other reason than to stop a comment of her own.

“Twenty-four?” Tony repeated, voicing the question every person sitting there had. Except for Bruce.

“It’s a respectable age, not unlike sixteen. You were a child, Jennifer.”

Jen did nothing but sigh, overdramatic and completed with an eye-roll. She was used to her cousin and his overprotective streak.

“Please, that’s nothing,” Tony swooped in to stop whatever family squabbling about to break out. Awkwardly looking for laughs to avoid the fight with a lie he’d told so much he believed it to be true. “Very normal age.”

Bruce shot him a look of betrayal that quickly changed to a warning for Tony to mind his own business. A look Tony was sure contained more green than Bruce’s eyes usually do but decided to ignore that fact. He couldn’t think about what would happen to everyone if the Hulk showed up at this height.

Pulling the bottle of wine up from the center of the table, Pepper starts to refill everyone’s glass. It’s nearly a reflex. Tony has messed up, even if it wasn’t intentional, she knows the question wasn’t appropriate and they’re on the brink of something erupting here. Pepper can’t help but try to smooth the situation out.

“There utterly useless unless they’re talking science,” she says to Jen, ignoring that the boys are there.

Neither argues with her. Tony understands what the statement is meant to do. It’s code to be quiet. And as much as he likes to go against what he’s told, he’s learnt a lot lately and now isn’t a time to rebel. He and Bruce can have a conversation about this later.

Bruce missed the purpose of the comment but sees the truth of it. All his life he’s failed in social situations and excelled within his scientific element. It’s easily taken as a compliment. He’s useful and as a scientist not a weapon of mass destruction.

“Probably why it took so long for him,” Jen teases. Raising her glass and tipping towards Pepper as a thank you. “I remember when I went to visit him when he was still at CalTech, the parties that were happening!! And I swear I talked to fifty different people just walking to get lunch and they were all amazing. Where was Doc? In a lab. Didn’t even know he was talking to me and not his lab assistant half the time.”

“Did so,” Bruce groaned and like that they were back to a childish version of themselves that seemed to come so easy when in the presence of each other.

“You have many skills,” Jen said to Bruce “but dealing with people isn’t one of them.”

“That’s where I come in,” Pepper grinned, giving Bruce a knowing look.

“I saw your press conference the other day, you were talking about the new directions for SI and I was hanging on every word. Girl, you have poise and dignity pouring out of you but I have to say, I don’t think your legal team is working for you. Have you thought about looking for some replacements?” Jen has relaxed and gone back to eating Bruce’s meal.

Bruce and Tony shared an exasperated look that neither of them meant. Reclining back in their seats as the meal’s discussion turned to business.

With an easy jab and a fast comment, Pepper saved the last two and half hours of the flight from turning into a slumber party, complete with someone crying in the bathroom. Bruce was thankful, knowing full well he had little to share in the way of interesting or wild stories. As Jen picked at his plate, Bruce stared out the window and felt nerves begin to start low in his stomach.

The reason they’d dragged the whole gang into the private jet to switch coasts came at the hands of the odd man out here. Jen had been laying the guilt on thick and it only got worse as the holiday season approached. Leaving Bruce regretting having given her a direct line to him. Of course, after his disappearance, there wasn’t any avoiding that. The regret was always short lived anyways.

It’d been years since Bruce had seen his family. Not just since the accident, this wasn’t something he could blame on his favorite green scapegoat. Bruce didn’t see the need to return home, it’d never felt like a home to him so why pretend it does now?

No matter how hard he tried, Bruce couldn’t ignore what his aunt had done for him. Both of them, frankly, as Susan would have been lost without Elaine's guidance. Things may not have been ideal but Bruce was setting the bar too high and they all survived so it couldn’t have been awful. He really owed them more than a visit once every ten years.

Giving in, Bruce agreed to a trip to Pasadena and soon found Tony agreeing to go along. It was a family outing, which Tony wasn’t but as it turns out, you aren’t supposed to point that out. Pepper was added when she found they were heading to California and so close to Malibu. Though Jen said she was there for ‘meeting the family’ support.

A dinner with his aunts and uncle turned into a weekend away. There may not be a mansion to stay at but it was far from Tony’s only connection in the city. With a hotel booked, commercial plane tickets returned in favor of the private jet Tony spent the time leading up to their departure trying to get their return flight home rerouted through Vegas.

It was all far more than Bruce had anticipated and though he was surrounded by the family he’d slowly been collecting for himself, it didn’t take the edge off. As they crossed out of Nevada, into California, and everyone had settled into their seats with calmer activities as their bodies were still on Eastern Standard time, Bruce felt a hand slip into his. He looked down at his hand and up to his cousin’s. With a half smile, he gave a silent thank you.

Laying her head on his shoulder, Bruce felt like he was ten again and taking a road trip upstate. He could swear there was happiness in those memories but he wasn’t shocked happiness was tied to Jen. She was his first best friend, the first person he’d die to protect.

“You’re doing a good thing, Doc” she whispered.

“I know. Doesn’t mean I want to.”

“Such an adult. Glad you finally grew up, life is about doing all sorts of things we don’t want to.”

Bruce turned the page of his book, ignoring her comment. Jen went back to her game of Candy Crush and Bruce fought to keep his interest on the text. More than once, letting go of her hand to swipe a finger across her screen and trigger a record-breaking chain reaction.

Soon the phone was laying on Jen’s thigh, she’d pull it up every few minutes but after a few cycles of that the phone remained on her leg and the screen’s light timed out. A soft snoring started in Bruce’s ear and brought him further back to childhood vacations. Jen never could stay awake on those long drives.

He couldn’t help but laugh, they were close enough to the airport that they started to slowly descend. Murky grey buildings and cut out of blocks were becoming defined buildings. Car headlights turned into color vehicles. The backyard pools started to increase frequency. Street lamps gave you a defined view of the life happening on the ground. It wouldn’t be long now until they were under those street lamps waiting for the ordered car.

A few freeway changes, a half hour more in transit and Bruce would be checking into a hotel. He couldn’t turn back. He couldn’t turn back as it was, where was he going to go but where the plane was taking him? But once he was on the familiar streets of Pasadena it’d be all too real.

A family reunion.

For now, Bruce enjoyed this content and comfortable feeling in the cabin. Anxiety hadn’t fully taken over, his book was an enjoyable distraction, and everything was easy. Tomorrow would bring guilt trips and too many questions, worst of all embarrassing stories.

Dropping altitude again, the final descent, Bruce relaxed and enjoyed the last few minutes of whatever this was. Finding a few moments to be hopeful and even miss his aunts for the first time in longer than he could remember.

Until Tony stood up and started to make announcements as though he was the pilot.

[aelin-and-feyre]

Just Pretend?

Requested by @evilqueen729 69: “Just pretend to be my date”.  

Feysand - modern au, Nessian wedding

"Come on, Feyre, please?" Rhys begs, catching Feyre off guard for a good two seconds, seeing a grown, strong man begging. She quickly recovers, however, flipping her hair as she studies her dress in the mirror.

"Don't come crying to me last minute, Rhysand, you should have figured out this problem a long time ago." Feyre answers, intent not to ever agree to any deal involving Rhysand Night, her outspoken enemy but somehow the best friend of her sister's fiancee.

She is about to walk away from him when Rhys steps into her path, hands raised to stop her from going anywhere. "You don't understand, Cassian just told me that she was invited, and I was planning on going solo tonight but now, that's not possible unless we want there to be a scene."

Feyre puts her hands on her hips. "Just get any other girl to pretend to be your girlfriend for the night, I'm sure there are at least ten listening at the door right now, eager for the chance." She comments bitterly.

Rhys doesn't even glance away from her eyes. "That's the point. With you, there are no expectations, just pretend. Please, Feyre," He literally gets on his knees. "I'm on my knees, begging you. Just pretend to be my date. One night."

Feyre studies him for a few moments, weighing the pros and cons. It would keep potential creeps away from her, but would also ward off any cute guys that might notice her as maid of honor. It would also be feeding into the best man screws maid of honor stereotype, but she would love to see the look on the other girls' faces when they saw them walk in together, as a couple. Not to mention it would be hilarious to see the reaction of this crazy ex-girlfriend of his.

Finally, Feyre sighs. "One night, Rhysand, and I'm not sleeping with you either, so don't even think about it."

A brilliant smile lights up Rhys' face and Feyre can't help but feel that this is a terrible idea.

The ceremony was beautiful, Nesta was breathtaking and Cassian was indeed, breathless. Feyre's not sure he stopped smiling the entire time. Nesta is happy and that's all that matters to Feyre.

Pictures went quickly, as Nesta was impatient and Cassian was inclined to give her anything she wanted no matter what. When they get to the reception hall, Rhys wraps his arm around her waist, pulling her close to him and putting his lips to the side of her head as if he's giving her a kiss. "Show time, darling."

Discreetly, Feyre elbows his side. "Don't make me regret this, Rhysand." She warns.

Rhys turns back as they get into the line for the bridal party grand entrance. "You might want to start calling me Rhys, as that’s what my friends call me."

Elain and Azriel are introduced and Feyre and Rhys step up behind them, his fingers laced through hers. Feyre never thought she would be in this position, walking into a wedding reception next to Rhysand Night. As much as she doesn't want to admit it, his hand is extremely comfortable in hers. Before they go in, she quickly reminds herself that everything that happens tonight is just pretend.

"The maid of honor and best man, Feyre and Rhysand!" The announcer proclaims, cueing the two of them to step into the room as all eyes turn to see. A beat starts playing and Rhys takes control, twirling her multiple times while they weave through the tables, stopping in the middle of the room to dip her deeply and then pull her close to him. She doesn't fail to notice that his eyes never leave hers.  

People clap and whoop, Feyre's cheeks heating when she breaks her gaze from his and looks around, smiling at the attendees. They walk hand in hand to the head table, sitting in their designated spots while Cassian and Nesta make their own grand entrance.

When Nesta sits down next to her, her sister's own cheeks are flushed, breathing uneven. It doesn't help the situation when the whole room starts clinking their utensils against their glasses and Cassian gently takes Nesta's face in both his hands and kisses her. They smile at each other when they pull away and Feyre feels her heart melt. Nesta hasn’t been this happy in a long time.

The food is brought out shortly after, absolutely delicious of course, but the entire meal, Feyre can feel Rhys' eyes on her, and knows he's trying to get her attention from across the bride and groom. Halfway through her steak, she finally decides to actually play her part and sends a sultry glance his way, actually catching him off guard. Rhys smiles back, winking at her, something Nesta doesn't fail to notice.

The eldest Archeron sister glances at Feyre in a silent question. "I'll tell you later. Just enjoy your day." Nesta easily agrees and goes back to her food. When Feyre glances back at Rhys, his face is pale, staring somewhere in the sea of round tables at something, or someone, she can't pinpoint. Feyre grits her teeth and sighs, knowing this is what she agreed to, and swears to make Rhys pay through the nose.

After dabbing her mouth a couple times, Feyre stands from her chair and walks over to the back of Rhys'. She leans down and drapes her arms around his shoulders, smiling as she whispers in his ear. "Come with me to get a drink, darling?"

Rhysand instantly relaxes, a small smile replacing the frown from before. He takes the hand that's resting on his chest and stands up, wrapping an arm around her waist so they can walk to the bar together. His eyes focus on her completely as they walk, though he easily makes his ways through the maze of tables without even looking. Most people are so engrossed in their own conversations and meals that no one looks up as they pass, perhaps except the pair of eyes that this whole show is for.

"Is she looking at us?" Feyre mutters under her breath, but peeking up at him through her eyelashes.

Rhys' smile tightens. "Most likely." He replies. They reach the bar, Rhys leaning an arm against it and ordering their drinks. She leans next to him, facing each other, and Rhysand takes the opportunity to reach over and push a strand of hair behind her ear. Feyre, far too easily for her liking, makes herself blush at the gesture.

The drinks are placed next to them but Feyre finds herself too entranced in his gaze to notice. "Thank you for doing this, Feyre." Rhys finally breaks the tense silence.

"You know you owe me, though, right? Big time." She reminds.

"Oh, yes, I know." He hands her the drink and takes a sip of his own.

To try and win back some of her conscience, Feyre decides to change the topic. "So where is she?" Glancing around the collected guests, she can't pinpoint any one girl that looks awful enough for Rhys to have gotten on his knees to be warded from. 

"One of the tables in the back." He replies, then glances at the DJ stand. "Hey, we should go request a song for later, and soon or else we'll have to wait forever to get it played." He grabs her hand and Feyre has to scramble to set her drink down before it falls. 

They get to the DJ and Rhys requests a song. While looking around for Rhysand's ex, Feyre notices that there are a number of girls here who are continuously glancing their way. Another glance at the attendees makes Feyre realize that she can have a lot of fun with this deal. 

She glances back at Rhys, who is still quietly conversing with the DJ. It's no secret that he is definitely the most attractive guy here, might be the most attractive guy in Prythian, and she gets to rub it in all these stuck up girl's faces that she get's to be on his arm tonight, even if it's fake. She's always hated her sister's friends, and this is the perfect way to finally show them up. 

When Rhysand is done talking, Feyre makes a bold choice. She grasps his arm and pulls him down so she can whisper in his ear. "Change of plans, Rhysand. I'll play your girlfriend, but everything is my choice, I make the decisions tonight and you play along, got it?" Rhys' eyes widen comically before he recovers himself and smirks, turning his head to look at her and nodding. 

Plans are easily forming in Feyre's mind. She bites her lip, takes his hand, and starts guiding him towards the door. A glance back at the head table reveals that Nesta has barely noticed she is gone, too preoccupied in Cassian's eyes. Feyre makes a promise to herself that no matter what she does tonight with Rhys, she can't ruin her sister's big day. 

A little less than ten minutes later, Feyre and Rhys re-enter the reception room and half a dozen eyes snap to look at them, scanning their slightly disheveled clothes and Rhys' messed up hair, Feyre's own handiwork. Half a dozen pairs of eyes flick to Feyre, some with impressed expressions while others are more sinister. 

Feyre and Rhys smile at each other slyly, an unspoken innuendo to anyone else, however they both knew that the look was purely between associates in a scheme. In reality, nothing romantic or elicit had happened when they left, as many people in the room now assumed as they noticed them heading back to their table. 

Feyre had expertly messed up his hair just enough to look like it had been pulled with considerable passion, had smudged her lipstick and placed a bit on his own lips - which had been more than a little awkward - and let one of the straps on her shoulder fall when she walked in, which she promptly fixed once enough people had noticed it. Rhys had also loosened his tie just a touch to add to the affect and then they had waited, talking quietly for a couple minutes until Feyre had decided they had been gone for enough time to encourage the appropriate response. 

The whole time they had talked, Rhysand had looked at her with a weird expression that Feyre took as gratitude. This was definitely going to make any ex-girlfriend very wary of approaching a man so obviously involved with another woman. He ought to be grateful for her efforts. 

When they passed the bar, Feyre grabbed a water bottle, giving it to Nesta when they got back to the head table who looked at her thankfully. Her sister hadn't even noticed they were gone. Rhys meets her eye and notices as well, shaking his head at the humor of it. 

"Hey, Elain," Feyre turns to her other sister on her right. "How's your dinner tasting?"

"Oh, absolutely delicious Feyre, how's Rhysand tasting?" If Feyre had been drinking something, she would have spit it out at this moment, and then she would have taken another sip just to spit it out again. Elain had literally just said that and Feyre could not believe her ears. Elain let out a laugh. "Why didn't you tell me you are Rhys were a thing? I thought you hated him!" 

Feyre sputtered, unable to find the words. Elain kept speaking though. "Would you like to sit by him? I wanted to go talk to Lucien anyway, I can offer Rhys the opprotunity to sit here for a while in my stead." Feyre could only manage a nod. So Elain stood up, making sure her long, flowery dress wouldn't get caught, and then walked over to Feyre's fake-boyfriend and gave up her spot. 

Rhys smiles and thanks Elain, standing to change his seating arrangement. "How did you convince her?" He wonders as he sits. 

Feyre shakes her head, trying to get rid of her shock. "She just gave it up once she noticed that you and I are together." Rhysand laughs, successfully shaking Feyre from her stupor finally. 

She reaches over and grabs his hand, bringing it into her lap. His arm stiffens for a split second and then he relaxes, letting her guide his hand until it's resting on her thigh. Then, she leans over and whispers, "Don't tone down the fact that your hand is very close to me... it'll drive her wild." 

She felt Rhys' grip on her leg tighten but his lips stretched into a grin, as if she'd just whispered something incredibly dirty to him. "Good, boy, now don't freak out." She whispers again and lets her lips touch the shell of his ear, looking very intimate to outsiders... and very intimate to her as well.

What the fuck am I doing? 

Feyre honestly isn't sure what has gotten into her, and as she draws away from a shuddering Rhysand, she realizes she doesn't particularly care. Her heart is racing wildly, and she's having a hard time keeping the facade of being turned on, a facade.

It's alright as long as you keep a level head. Don't have anything alcoholic to drink and don't do anything irrational. It’s all just pretend.

So instead of escalating the public display of intimacy as she had planned, Feyre instead rests her chin on her hand and turns to Rhys, giving him an appreciative look and batting her eyelashes. As they talk, Rhys' hand slowly, in incredibly tiny increments, sneaks it's way up her thigh until it's only a couple inches from her center. To her infinite surprise, Feyre doesn't stop it's assent, though she tells herself every time it moves that she will halt it's advance next time. 

Thankfully, the DJ announces the bride and groom's first dance and saves Feyre from having to follow through on her promise. Not breaking eye contact, Rhys removes his hand with a small caress and then turns to clap as Nesta and Cassian enter the dance floor. Feyre catches Elain’s eye from the other side of the room and her sister winks at her suggestively, her own arm slung through Lucien's. Feyre's not sure what has gotten into her sister either. 

Nesta and Cassian dance beautifully, their eyes never leaving each other, and Feyre can't help feeling jealous. Maybe that's why she's acting this way, same with Elain. The two unmarried Archerons feel vulnerable and alone tonight, and two men are happy to fill the gaps. 

When the song finishes, the floor is open for anyone to join, and Rhysand stands, offering his hand to her. "Dance with me?" He asks, arching an eyebrow. 

"I'd be delighted." They start to make their way to the dance floor when something catches Rhys' eye and his whole body tightens. 

"What's wrong, Rhys?" Feyre asks, trying to keep her tone flirty and seductive. 

"She's coming this way, Feyre, what do we do?" He mutters, and Feyre has to make a split second decision. 

Without even looking for the girl who is the cause of all this, Feyre steps in front of Rhys, facing him, and slings her arms around his neck. His eyes widen a fraction. "Just relax." She murmurs, and then steps onto her tiptoes, closes her eyes, and presses her lips to his. 

If Rhys is surprised, he does a good job not showing it, as he easily slides his arms around her waist and pulls her flush against him, perhaps a little too close for polite company, but that's the point. Though she should, Feyre can't find herself able to pull away from the feeling of his soft lips moving against hers, nor can she find it in herself to regret her decision as she sinks deeper into his form. 

"Mmm," Feyre hums as Rhys is the one to finally pull away, resting his forehead against hers and breathing slightly heavily.

"Wow." He gasps, catching his breath.

Feyre smirks, looking at him through her eyelashes. "Wow, indeed, who knew Rhysand Night could kiss like that?" Her hand somehow finds it's way onto the back of his head and she gently scrapes her nails through his hair. Rhys practically purrs in response. 

"We should get on the dance floor." He says hoarsely, finally pulling away in an attempt to not kiss her again, for sure. 

Feyre, now that she's no longer pressed against him, finds her mind and looks around. It’s just pretend. "Is she gone?" 

"Turned right around as soon as you lips met mine." He confirms. Feyre feels a little smug that he could have pulled away then right away, but kept kissing her instead, and then she remembers that this is all fake. Just pretend. Nothing more. 

"Good, then let's go." She pulls him, rather roughly, into the small throng of people dancing and attempts to lose herself to the music, a much more safe alternative to his eyes. 

When the music slows down, Feyre is separated from Rhys and spots him a couple yards away, about to be approached by a few different girls for a dance. "Rhys!" She calls and his eyes immediately snap to hers, a smile breaking across his face as he completely ignores the other girls and makes his way promptly over to her. "You're about to get mauled by at least three girls in their fight over you so you better put your hands on my hips right now."

He does as he is told and she slings her arms easily around his neck, beginning to sway with the beat. His thumbs stroke her sides as he studies her, Feyre tries to get lost in the music again but fails. "Why are you doing this?" Rhysand asks quietly at last.

"Because you asked me to?" Feyre responds, not sure where this is going."No, I mean, you could have simply walked in here with me and held my hand a little to show I was taken, but instead... Why?" He wonders.

Feyre inclines her head a bit to the side, indicating the girls sitting in chairs at tables around the perimeter of the dance floor, still looking longingly at Rhys. "My sister's friends are bitches, it's nice to see them knocked down a few pegs by seeing me with the hottest guy in the room." She answers truthfully, though it may not be the whole truth. She shrugs. "And, I don't know, with Nesta getting married, it kinda makes me realize that I don't have that, and probably won't have that for a really long time, so it's nice to pretend for the night, y'know?"

Rhys nods, pulling her closer so his hands rest on the small of her back. "It doesn't have to be a really long time, Feyre." He says, searching her eyes. 

Feyre lets out a short laugh. "What, feeling like a matchmaker right now, Rhys? Or are you offering yourself? I said you're hot but it doesn't mean I want a relationship with you. Besides - "

"There is no ex-girlfriend, Feyre." Rhysand suddenly bursts. 

"What?" Feyre stops swaying.

He takes a deep breath. "None of the girls at this wedding were once my girlfriend, it was all just a ruse so that I could spend the night with you." 

Feyre stops breathing, taking his hand wordlessly and leading them off the dance floor, out of the reception hall, and into a little alcove. "Explain." She demands shortly.

"I'm sorry, I just thought it could be a nice, innocent way of spending more time with you without you yelling at me every two seconds. I just wanted to be able to dance and talk and pretend for a night because, Cauldron, Feyre, I like you, a lot. And with Cassian getting married, especially to your sister, I wanted the chance to show it. And then you took over and I just went with it and I'm sorry for that too, I should have stopped it before it went as far as it did-"

Feyre can't take it anymore. She cuts off his rambling by doing the thing that she had failed to stop thinking about the whole time she was dancing and presses her lips to his in a fierce kiss. Rhys stumbles back but regains his footing quickly, wrapping his arms firmly around her middle like a vice, her own hands making their way to his hair.

When she finally pulls away, in need of air, Rhys tries to apologize again so she pecks his lips once more. Rhysand finally shuts up after that, staring at her with wide eyes.She disentangles herself from his arms and drags a hand down her face. "Okay. Okay, fine, that's new knowledge, huh." She mumbles, pacing slightly in front of a stunned Rhysand. 

“Feyre, please. Be with me.” He begs, the second time Feyre has seen his beg in the last day. 

She thinks for a good five minutes, making Rhys anxious. "What the hell. Fine." She finally turns to him. "Somehow, I'm incredibly attracted to you. So fine, we can try. I'm not promising you anything though because I did hate you at the beginning of the night but I'm willing to try." 

Rhys' answering smile is almost blinding as he surges forward and places a sweet kiss to her still tingling lips. "You won't regret this, Feyre, I promise." He whispers against her mouth, his hands lightly grasping the sides of her face.

 She allows a small smile to grace her features and smacks him on the shoulder, pulling out of his hold. "I better not. I can not believe you made up a fake girl!" Inside the reception hall, the music shift and Feyre gasps. "I love this song!"

"I know, that's why I requested it. Care to dance with me? No pretending this time?" He holds out his hand. 

Feyre sees Nesta and Cassian still dancing together, the white gown flowing beautifully with the multicolored lights. She also spots Elain and Lucien smiling at each other by the bar, drinking and conversing quietly. The bride is happy, her sister is content, so Feyre finally puts her hand in Rhys' and decides to throw caution to the wind. "No more pretending."

Send me a number and ship!

Masterlist