#and someday I would very much like to articulate them

[ghosts-and-blue-sweaters]

One of these days I plan to write numerous essays on Ghostbur Boo from the Dream SMP. I am being so serious when I say this.

[silverskye13]

Hello! I'm one of your readers and admirers, been sending asks before too - it's just the topic makes me self-conscious.

You're writing very long and articulated things, with intricate details, and you're pretty darn good at it - so I believe you can give advice here. Do you ever feel discomfort/anxiety about writing long works in form like "it will take me ages to do it, and if I can't finish it will haunt me forever"? Do you have any methods of fighting it?

Oh hmm. Well! I used to have those anxieties yes. I haven't had them for a while. My method of fighting it is less of a fight, and more of a,,, change in perspective I suppose.

So, I don't go into any project assuming I will finish it.

Now, important note: I go into every project wanting to finish it. Most things I work on, especially long form things, have a finish line. I know generally how I want the story to go, and why, and I go into it knowing that it will change and evolve as the project continues. The finish line might get farther away, or rarely, closer, if I cut things down.

But I've stopped assuming something I start will ever get done.

This does a few things for me. Firstly, it takes away the guilt of "but if I don't finish! I won't be able to live with myself!" My goal was never to finish, so there is no guilt attached to not finishing.

[Well, that's a lie. I do feel a little guilty about unfinished projects, but it's "I should get back around to that someday" guilt, and not "this is a personal failing that is indicative of my character" guilt.]

The other thing that not starting a project purely to finish it does, is it recontextualizes your goals and rewards. The good feelings you get from working on the project, and making your shorter term goals, becomes the motivation to keep working on it, as opposed to a much farther away and more ephemeral end goal of "done someday."

If you have already made the goal of "done someday" on a long term project, and you have pinned your sense of success to it, the best advice I personally can give, is to unpin your sense of success from that far away point. That point might be years away, and while some people can definitely wait years for payoff, I, personally, can't. I need something closer and smaller. Otherwise I get worn down and tired, because I am slogging on something very emotionally taxing that isn't paying me back in any way. Why would I do that? That's very rude to myself! We don't suffer for art around here!

I would recommend instead, picking a closer point. If you're writing a long fic, pick a scene you really want to reach. [I pick several. If you ever hear me ramble about "story arcs" it's a product of this.] If you're making a comic, pick a scene, chapter/page number, or character introduction you're excited for. If you're making a video game, pick several programming or story milestones, etc.

Base your success on reaching those milestones. You will get your dopamine rush from Doing The Thing. Congratulate yourself! Bask in it! Celebrate the small milestone the same way you would the finish line. Buy a favorite treat, take the weekend off to rest, gush about it to your friends. It might feel silly the first few times you do it. That's fine! You're training your brain to appreciate milestones. Your brain will figure out what you're doing and get with the program.

Aside from milestone goals, I think it's also good to remember, a project is never abandoned if you don't want it to be? Like, really embrace that idea. Unless some fortune teller has divined the exact date and time of your death, for all you know, you have ten, twenty, hell, fifty years to finish your project. Long Term Project has no end date [unless you are professionally publishing something with a company, in which case, you have negotiated your end date with a client.] You can say "I'm tired of this for now", drop it and come back later. You aren't a failure for needing a break -- even if that break spans years, and you pick up 3 more long term projects in between. I have been working on a webcomic for 3 years now. It has 30 pages, and I take 6 months breaks in between working on it. I don't see that as a personal failing.

I don't know, I feel like this is getting a bit incoherent. Long story short: most people's anxieties about long term projects [and their ability to finish them] have to do with being deeply unkind to themselves, I feel. You aren't a publishing house. You aren't a TV show producer. You aren't a film director. You are one person, working on something potentially massive. Recognize that will take time. Recognize taking your time isn't a bad thing. Recognize you might need to take breaks -- long ones. Recognize that you need sustaining goals that are small yes, smaller than finishing, but also deeply, deeply important. And also recognize if you can't finish your long term project? That's not a moral failing. You're allowed to walk down the road with an idea, love it to bits, and then change enough as a person through the process, that it no longer serves you. And then you can drop it.

Do not make the end goal of a long project your finish line. If you do, every project you don't finish is a disappointment. Make finishing the project the happy accident that came from working on it long enough.

[longeyelashedtragedy]

Frank James Lampard OBE 👀

ougughgh, you whipped out the order of the british empire? 🫡 😳 maybe i was wrong to judge them teaboos back in the superwholock days (that's a JOKE)

@protect-daniel-james i'll respond here but i might use your ask to post some more Photos cause i'm not sure how to pick just one photo of the Long Eyelashed Tragedy

favorite thing about them: uhhh...so much? he gets me right in the FEELS, man. he tells on himself constantly and seems to be completely unaware. sadboi footballer with pretty dead eyes who loves to Read and took a little notebook with him on the team bus. the intersection of having it easy/privileged childhood & traumatic things that shouldn't have happened--i relate. exhilarating to watch his old performances and he seems like he'd be fun to have a conversation with. fascinating to analyze, this all feels sort of reductive...i'm very Fond of him and some of it is hard to put into words, but i feel very "what's not to love?" about him lol. and he has such a Narrative. he's very easy to write about though it probably doesn't turn out well at all (sounds great and deep in my head though)

also i find a lot of footballers hot but don't really experience significant attraction to them but he is an exception you know what i'm just going to end this here

least favorite thing about them: he lost weight after everton BOO HISS

favorite line: omg, frank james lampard OBE is funny because he's often so intelligent and articulate and then just whips out the WEIRDEST/most cringe thing out of nowhere. some examples:

-his "fight" with klopp on the touchline

THIS wtfery:

these BANGERS:

this classic example of childhood trauma "too old when you're young and too young when you're old" (what some ppl would call "entitled male athlete" but like..i know better than that lol). it's also just patently RIDICULOUS he was like 36...bolding is mine for the classic lines

But it was while on a night out in Manchester during pre-season that the ex-West Hamer star showed his new American team-mates exactly how ex-Premier League stars like to party.

Columbus Crew centre-back Josh Williams was with NYCFC at the time and he told the story to the Athletic.

...“This place is packed, multiple levels. And as soon as we walk in, you could see everybody recognise Frank. And it’s just me, my teammate and Frank and all the energy is just on him.

"He picks up a bottle, this huge bottle of Grey Goose, picks it up, opens it, just starts downing it. Passes it to me and goes, ‘Boys, we’re not putting this down until it’s fucking gone.’”

The trio passed the bottle around three times when the rest of NYCFC showed up.

After about an hour in the club, Lampard approached Williams and asked him about 'that game you Americans play where you throw the little balls — he’s talking about beer pong.'

ok let's see...

brotp: random one but i recently learned that he and ian wright are friends? and i just love that so much both as a gooner and a person. wrighty complements him well and is very...respectful lol. if we consider lamperry to be only one-sided romantic, then definitely lamperry

notp: franko x steven gerrard...there's only One situation in which i've enjoyed that ship (and it was an au). it does nothing for me normally, and i personally don't find stevie g attractive, so! again, it's like an "ew get it away from me" notp, it's just not my vibe.

otp: i mean...lamperry requited. franko x cousin jamie jamie jamie ....maybe someday they can give romeo and juliet their happy ending. and of course, frank and mason...i just really like this ship so much and it keeps my brain so entertained...even though it's not "healthy" and doesn't end well. these ships are all SO good!!!

random headcanon: oh gosh idk...i don't think i have any "headcanons" because everything he says and does in public just kind of tracks. bet he's done coke lol. idk

unpopular opinion: HOO BOY!!! here we go!!! i am aware that i have a wooby nature, but i actually like that about myself. i'd rather approach someone--anyone with softness and then tone it down when i decide they're a dick, than be uncharitable for no reason. that's my way and that's how it's gonna be! so that said...franko gets accusations of "arrogance" and i...i don't see it at all. it might come from his disingenous press conferences at chelsea and everton, but i see that as a man who has horrid self-esteem, was used to being treated by media and fans like a Starboy, and once he started doing badly, had no idea how to handle professional failure--not one single idea. remember on "diary of a ceo" over the summer when he said his first chelsea sacking was the first time he's ever failed professionally? that's insane. Like, imagine making it to age FORTY-TWO and not having a legitimate school or career disaster. that's insane to me. so he just put up a front and got cranky and defensive and funky about where he placed the blame (and to be honest--he has not done a good job as a manager, but he also wound up in some pretty dismal positions. taking chelsea caretaker manager was really shooting himself in the foot because that season just needed to be put out of its misery lol). i'm not saying he's a bastion of humility, or some misunderstood coaching genius, but i don't see him as any more or less arrogant than someone else. idk--i see a weird level of contempt for him that doesn't really feel deserved? he's just a sad sack. sort of a hubris tale in a sense, but also a tale of a man who is still stuck as a kid in some ways...i need to stop before i write a really bad dissertation lol

uh that said...

song i associate with them:

finally a footballer i can give a good answer to this for!!!

name me a better combination than me x lamps x pink floyd x this summer! comfortably numb, shine on you crazy diamond (all of it, but particularly sections vi-ix), wish you were here...

(i know this sounds basic...i know there are more i'm not remembering)

"money" in some ways because i listened to it while writing "visited upon the sons" (it hit me afterward that the fic and the song are structured in the same way...the chicken or the egg?)

from the oooold first days of the lampardverse:

behind blue eyes/a well respected man

also! wouldn't it be nice kind of reminds me of him and cousin jamie loool

favorite picture of them:

dude idk! i really love looking at photos of him! this is granit levels of difficulty...i Cannot choose so let's go with this sad sack from the blessed everton days:

[heartandsoulcomic]

AU Sarafinas!

(and the original!)

Sometimes I like to think about what Sarafina would be like in various AUs, and I thought I’d toss some of them up here :)

Ramblings about them under the cut :)

Quick disclaimer – I don’t know much about Undertale AUs other than their basic premises and aesthetics, so a lot of this is based on my interpretations of the AUs and might not (okay, probably don’t) match the “official” ideas about them.

That being said…

OG Undertale! Sarafina, daughter of Sans and Toriel, victim star of my comic Heart and SOUL

Underswap! Sarafina – AKA The Spectacular Sarafina AKA Bandanna:

Bandanna’s nickname comes from the blue bandanna given to her by her father that she never takes off.  She likes that nickname well enough; however she says that her “superhero name” is The Spectacular Sarafina. It never sticks though.

Bandanna is friendly, outgoing, energetic and committed to training to be “a mighty warrior” – and hides a bunch of deep-seated anxieties.

She also has a bit of a tempter that she’s very good at keeping in check… usually. Once she bit a rather nasty photographer who tried to take her bandanna off of her when she refused to remove it herself for a picture.

I ramble quite a bit about her here in a previous post.

Horrortale! Sarafina – AKA Skelly: Lives in the Underground. Skelly is the most sheltered of the group – She lives mainly with Sans in an isolated part of the northern most forest of Snowdin. Sans guards her ferociously from other monsters who would harm her. Many have learned the hard way that the northern forest is safe only for her. Few monsters are allowed to see her, including Toriel, Papyrus, and two or three select others. Highly intelligent, books are her way of traveling beyond the forest, and she is very articulate. Often uses big words and speaks very formally, such as calling her parents Mother and Father.

Underfell Sarafina – AKA Scar:

Lives in the Underground. Toriel loved her baby, but feared she would harm Scar should Toriel’s mental state deteriorate further. So, Scar lived with Sans and Papyrus until the run-in with Asgore that left her with her scars. Fearing for and not fully trusting that the skeleton brothers could/would protect her should Asgore search for her, Scar is a homeless runaway, living in the muggy border between Waterfall and Hotland. Hangs out with “a crybaby flower monster”. Scar constantly threatens to burn Flowey, but she would actually fight fiercely to protect him. Flowey often rides on her right side to compensate for her impaired vision.

I had fun with these.

I have a few ideas for comics where these interdimensional sisters interact…

Maybe someday…

[mickmundy]

a masterpost of some of my sniper headcanons! just some of my personal thoughts on his character and things he'd like, dislike, hobbies, etc!

while he prefers nonfiction, he also enjoys reading fiction and poetry. he used to read all of his mom's old books cover to cover and there would almost always be a book stashed somewhere outside that he could read between chores (or if/when he had a minute to himself).... thrashed paperback books shoved under hay bales or left to fade in the sun in the back of his old man's truckbed etc...

enjoys old movies and does Not shy away from romances, dramas, etc. he has memories of staying up late with his mom and watching them or listening to radio serials with her. they just Hit The Spot for him and while its maybe not something he'd Openly Admit, he's definitely not ashamed of it!

he loves the ocean. loves to surf, is an incredible swimmer. never really sought the ocean out but once he visited he was like Ohhh I Love This. is fascinated by marine life and learning about it! can hold his breath for a really long time too. sniping/shooting breathing control practice, y'know!

very knowledgeable about medicine. my love for medic/sniper aside, i think it only makes practical sense that he'd have a pretty extensive knowledge of herbs, remedies and medicines that he could easily craft/make/use on himself! he'd also know how to suture and dress wounds. he survived on his own for a long time before medic and his medigun came along, after all!

made money in his youth between jobs at being a pretty good taxidermist. big game hunting was an easy and fun hobby to do and his knowledge and appreciation for animals led him to being interested in the preservation of them. still enjoys doing it now too!

has a surprising(?) lack of knowledge about vehicles. knows where to shoot to sabotage them, but little about the upkeep of his own. knows he should just let engineer look at his van and fix her up, but his home is very personal to him so that is not something that comes easy!

doesn't like asking for help. was raised Not to ask for help, "because you're only as capable as you teach yourself to be". if you do help him, he'll thank you and genuinely mean it, but he won't go out of his way to ask you for assistance unless it's something minor or he's Extremely desperate.

would literally you rather see him naked than have an emotionally-compromising conversation with you. you'll see his whole tacklebox before he tells you how he's really feeling!

despite his stoic/silent nature, he is not very... emotionally mature. has trouble articulating his feelings. this does not mean he's devoid of them by any means! just has trouble getting them out there in a way that would make sense to others. lots of repression lots of internalized things he has to work out... hopefully someday!

enjoys classical, jazz, blues, and country (think Outside of the american genre lmao) music. plays the saxophone along to his cassettes when he has a minute! he has rhythm and is quite good!

he has a collection of kitschy mugs/cups and t-shirts that he'd picked up/somehow just Amassed in his travels... he uses the mugs for planters and other purposes besides drinking, mostly to house the herbs, vegetables and fruits he grows in his van!

installed a rack above the sink in his van that he hooks mugs/planters to and grows his own herbs/veggies/fruits. he does canning, keeps preserves and enjoys keeping his hands busy in a way that's practical and, you know, old habits die hard! he doesn't like to be wasteful.

loves being naked. hates underwear and clothes. if he's in his van he's Probably Naked. loves laying on top of his camper and Basking in the sun totally nude if he can get away with it. infinitely prefers the heat to the cold. he hates the colder bases, but you still won't hear him complain!

no matter how much he "tans", he still has Eternal tanlines from his glasses, glove, watch and hat. the right half of him is a bit more tanned than his left* because of the sun blaring on him when he drives. as someone who does a lot of driving this is just a given to me lol

*i reject the notion that his steering wheel would be on the left side lol. no way he got his van in america... i dont believe that for a second.. i dont Care what the canon model says... s;dlkfsd!

is a very clean person. being a survivalist doesn't allow for poor hygiene! getting dirty on the job is just the reality of it; he doesn't mind, but he'll never turn down a hot shower and a fresh change of clothes! wounds, clothes, and body should always be clean when possible.

likes clutter, hates messes. i don't think he's a hoarder but i enjoy the idea of him hanging on to Some stuff. tries to tell himself that everything he owns has Practical Purpose bc he was raised to believe its not worth keeping if it doesn't, but some things he just Enjoys keeping around!

one of the most flattering things you could do for him would be to make him a home-cooked meal. it isn't a gesture he would take lightly! he'd appreciate it a lot, no matter how good or bad it was. personal things like this go a long way with him!

absolutely Not a lightweight. enjoys having drinks after a long shift at work, but his days of getting sloppy are pretty much behind him. enjoys a couple of beers on a quiet night where he can hang out with his owl and decompress.

loves to grill and cook! baking not so much, but he's still decently savvy at it. used to bake with his mom so it's sometimes still a bit of an emotional sore spot. typically makes jams, jellies, sauces, marinades and whatnot with his preserves for meat he cooks.

greatly enjoys birdwatching and knows a myriad of animal calls. has an old worn beat to shit birdwatching/flora/fauna pocket book that he keeps in his back pocket when he goes Out so that he can mark off species he's seen!

adores horses. loves to ride them, take care of them. can stay on one no matter how much it bucks. also has a soft spot for sheep and chickens, too. i think as someone who lives off of the land he just has great appreciation for everything animals can do for people!

can understand quite a few languages from traveling, but doesn't know how to speak them fluently. he did like surprising spy with some... colorful french after letting the other mercenary think he was an illiterate bushman for a couple months, though!

[griseldabanks]

Okay for the not-so-nice OC asks:

Break for Jakey

Nightmare for Dr. Robbins

Future for Leyla (suddenly can't remember if it's two as or an e and an a?)

-Rain

Jacob Rogers - break: What would cause your OC to break down completely? What do they look like when that happens? Has anyone ever seen them at their lowest?

There are a lot of different ways I could answer this, because my Jakey-boy goes on quite the character arc, but I'll just take him from the end of the story. At that point, he's five, so still not completely out of the realm of full breakdown tantrums when he's particularly tired or stressed. The thing that probably makes him break down most is when he acts out in one way or another, and then kind of realizes what he's done and that Daddy is disappointed in him. At that point, the tears are mostly a sign of the fear he can never quite seem to shake - "Someday, I'm going to do something so bad that Daddy won't love me anymore." He doesn't really have the words or the self-awareness to articulate that, exactly, but the fear is present and sometimes overwhelming. Thankfully, it's not true - Steve is a wonderful father who will never stop loving Jake no matter what he does, and he's learning the right words to say to reassure Jake of that.

Dr. William Robbins - nightmare: What does your OC have nightmares about? How do they deal with their nightmares? Do they tell people, or keep it to themself?

Dr. Robbins is a therapist who treats the worst of the worst (if that's how you want to describe it) - men who have done the most horrific things imaginable, and who have had the most horrific things done to them. He's heard it all, he's imagined it all, sometimes he's even been there in the middle of a crisis or in the immediate aftermath of a brutal crime. So yeah, he can have some pretty awful nightmares. As a therapist, he knows a lot of techniques to deal with trauma, anxiety, and other distressing emotions, and sometimes he has to use the same techniques he uses with his clients on himself as well. His wife, Diane, has learned what helps the most in the immediate aftermath of a nightmare: to sit in the kitchen with a cup of tea and look through family photo albums that have nothing to do with his nightmares. Also, Dr. Robbins has his own therapist that he sees regularly to make sure he's taking care of himself well enough to help others. He and Diane also take vacations several times a year to visit family or just to get away from the city for a weekend and recharge.

Leyla Tailor (yes, you spelled it right) - future: What's the worst possible future for your OC? Are they taking steps to avoid that outcome? Are they even aware it's a possibility?

Lol, I went on quite the tangent in thinking about this question, and incidentally determined that Leyla is probably an enneagram 7. (Especially when I read a thing on 7's and 2's in relationship, and guess who's a 2...)

Leyla is a highly motivated person who needs to have like five projects going on at once or she gets bored. She has all kinds of great ideas and all the energy needed to get them done, but sometimes she can struggle with deciding which of her many projects should be the priority and where best to direct her energy. Especially since the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D., there's a danger of her floundering and ending up unable to support herself anymore and/or continue to do things that are productive and helpful for others. She doesn't really spend much time worrying about this (it would seem like a waste of time to her), but that probably is something that fuels her need to go-go-go.

And I'm not trying to suggest that romance fixes everybody's problems or anything, but she also tends to surround herself with people who have a very well-defined drive to do good in the world, and that helps direct her energy as well.

Not-So-Nice OC Ask Game

[letters-to-rosie]

someday I'll get around to finishing my essay but for now I just wanna say that one very limiting aspect of Arcane's writing is the way it never supersedes taking the nation state as a legitimate form of analysis when talking about liberation

which is to say that lots of people have nations that oppress them

and everyone we see except the council (minus Jayce, because we do see him get oppressed) is living in a nation that oppresses them

and Silco unfortunately fails to un-reify his mind and takes for granted that economic conditions as dictated by Piltover will need to continue in some shape or fashion because he never got the chance to meaningfully engage with other forms of analysis, leading him to conceptualize a form of liberation that leaves the material conditions of most of the populace intact (since he would have in theory had the ability to do much more for the broader populace under his rule if he wanted to; what ultimately changes material conditions is not economic power as articulated in money, but labor, and he had enough people who believed in him to rally enough labor to that cause)

EDIT: re: Ekko and Jinx, totally agree, but I think their lack of ability to give their alternate articulations a broad audience (Ekko because he's forced into hiding and Jinx because she only articulates her struggles relatively narrowly post-timeskip) it feels like the show is gesturing at something but whether or not it'll commit to it is yet to be seen

[biggie-chcese]

Oooo the positive fandom questions sound fun how about 1, 8, 11 and 13?

list 3 positive things about your current fandom(s)

i did just answer this same question here, but i think ill challenge myself to list 3 new things.

the sheer amount of toxic yaoi and toxic yuri appreciation in the rain code fandom. yall are so fucking real for this

the tgaa fandom's uncanny ability to bring out the most banger character analyses. just, genuinely amazing. whether it's character study fanfiction or essays written out on tumblr, i eat it up because so many are legitimately compelling. this is especially a shoutout to @hikari-kaitou's many posts about translation differences and general analysis that really changed my perspective on some characters, as well as one of my favorites- this novel length kazuma analysis. these things live rent free in my head and i always admire people who are able to articulate so many complex thoughts around stories and characters like this

i've gained some really amazing friends through both of these fandoms. just, people i genuinely enjoy talking to and that in turn makes me enjoy the source material even more

8. you hope more people will come to appreciate ___ (a ship, a trope, an episode, etc)

found family where the roles are really nebulous. don't get me wrong, if people enjoy the classic "these are the parents and these are all the siblings they adopted" that's fine and dandy enjoy your media however you want! i even enjoy it often enough and think it's cute

but. on the rare occasion i see it depicted in a way that's hard to label, it makes me so extremely excited and filled with glee. i'm sorry im gonna ramble for a moment

so for example, yakou and yuma. as much as i also enjoy the yakou fathero headcanon, i've gone insane over the one or two times i've seen them depicted closer to canon's explicit dynamic of "shitty boss and intern who are also roommates and mentor/mentee, except who is the mentor and who is the mentee changes at the drop of a hat and they BOTH fucking suck at it!!! yakou is yuma's savior, and yuma is (unintentionally) yakou's nuclear hazard level threat. the game very subtly implies that these two go out for drinks together, and yuma "millions in debt" kokohead still has to pay often enough for him to be surprised at the idea of yakou offering to do so. yuma respects yakou greatly, but of the NDA, yuma is snippiest with yakou and quickest to call the man out on his bullshit. it takes more time for him to act this way with shinigami than his own fucking boss. there are more things i could say, but they're spoilers so dont worry about it.

yakou is almost the arataka reigen to yuma's mob, but i can't even confidently make that comparison because they feel more equal than that. they feel more casual than that. i struggle to put a label to it and that's what i love about them. i would love to see more of this in general, for both fandoms i'm in, because it's fun as hell whenever i do see it

11. if you're a writer or artist, what fic or piece of art are you proud of making?

you know what, i'm pretty proud of my latest art, because i've finally drawn a background i dont mind looking at! ^w^

13. your favorite type of fandom event (gift exchange, ship week, secret santa, prompt meme, etc)

gotta say ship week, since it's the only one of these listed that i've actively participated in. prompt memes and gift exchanges are amazing too! i think i'd wanna get in on those someday. i dont celebrate christmas so secret santa's out of the cards for me. it'd be cool to see more similar events that aren't themed around holidays.

[inkabelledesigns]

February 4th of 2023 marks the thirteen year anniversary of when I started my first sketchbook. So to celebrate, I decided to redraw the first OC that ever went in that original book: Hearts. I’m about to get really sappy under the cut.

I’m really bad at remembering dates, but this one sticks out in my mind. I remember being on my bed doodling this out, excited to finally throw something down on the page. At the time, one of my best friends had drawn Hearts out, but it wasn’t quite as I had envisioned her. I had been frustrated that I couldn’t articulate my vision, so naturally, stubborn 13 year old me decided the only way to get there was to learn to draw for myself. I uh, didn’t quite hit the mark for a long time, but this first sketch was important. Little did I know it was gonna take me on a journey that would last for so long (and is still ongoing)!

Hearts was a Sonic fan character originally. A baby blue hedgehog with pyrokinesis, defender of a world known as Planet Paradise and the leader of a resistance against a tyrannical king. She never met up with Sonic, they didn’t really exist in the same world, the visual style was just the same in my mind, and the stories were reminiscent of things I liked in the Sonic stories. The secret royalty backstory from Sonic Underground, the Werehog phase of Sonic Unleashed, the interstellar wonders of Sonic Colors (whose soundtrack I listened to all throughout drawing this tonight), it was all there. She was my whole world as a middle schooler.

Nowadays, I’ve re-imagined her to fit in what became of my other former Sonic project, Tales of Sunburst City, a world full of elemental heroes rising up against Tumult, leader of the Anti-Sync, to protect their home and the elements of nature. I think Hearts would work well as a fire elemental with hedgehog attributes. She’s sassy, she’s punk, but she’s always there to lend a hand. I can see her getting along with main protagonist Vibrance Echo very well.

I haven’t worked on her story in years. I had someone in middle school who kept stealing my book and inserting their stuff into mine without consent to make their characters the heroes of my stories, and another person who would also steal it and graffiti all over my art. It made me feel the need to keep it under wraps for a long time. I took forever to open up about my stories, and to improve as an artist. I got bullied within my fandom for not being very good at my craft (especially when I asked for help, I was laughed at), and because as someone who was pretty obviously bad at reading social situations/on spectrum, I was an easy target. That would go on from middle school all the way to college online. But I was determined through it all to become the best artist I could be and love my work. I had dreams of working on something for SEGA someday.

Look at where I am now. I’m standing here after 13 years, and finally, I’ve gotten somewhere. For one thing, I finally drew her hair the way I wanted it! X’‘‘D It took forever to figure out, but we did it, I’m so proud of that! But for another, look at where I’ve ended up as a person. I finally feel comfortable sharing my stories with my friends, and not only do they listen, but they’re interested in what I have to say. They encourage me to keep going. They’re there to help me when I get stuck, and I’ve learned so much from them that’s improved my art and writing game, especially in this last year. From nutcrackers to Bendy, I have a place where I’m happy and fulfilled. Thank you to my friends, you light up my life in so many ways, words can’t do it justice. <3 And it doesn’t matter if a hundred people or just a few see my stuff, I’m learning to love it and make it just for me. I’m closer now to creating the things I want than I ever have been before, overcoming the fear to just be myself. I have hope that maybe I can in fact write my books and tell my stories.

And it’s not just one art form where my skills have improved. It’s been noticeable across all my mediums. I have a bunch of new horizons that are being explored. I’ve gotten some cool voice roles that I never would’ve fathomed years ago. I tried cosplaying for the first time (in private, not ready to be public with that). I have improved on my dolls so much. And my digital illustration has been so much better! I’m getting better at using references, and my lip and nose game? Top notch! I even got to use some of my graphic design and illustration skills to help with the very first Bendy Fambassadors project! That still feels like a dream, the fact that I got to work with the voice actors for one of my favorite game series is AMAZING, and the fact that I can call some of them my friends and say I’m getting to know them as people? That’s the coolest thing ever! I’m so much more confident than I used to be, I finally proved to myself that I could do it. I am an artist, I belong here amongst the people whose work I look up to. I am amazing, I am beautiful, I am kind, I am compelling, I am FREE!

To all the artists out there that are insecure and finding their way, I can say with full confidence, it DOES get better. Yeah, I still have days where I crumble and fall apart, where nothing looks right and I’m in agony over my creations. But they aren’t the same as they used to be. You are the master of your own ship. Chart your course and weather the storm, take that high seas adventure! Find yourself somewhere along the way. There is so much treasure waiting for you, and you will find it. I’m a first believer that anyone can be artist. We can be so much more. Don’t be afraid to go out there and reach for the stars. You’ve got this!

[sylviegunpla]

Plamo: Pokémon Model Kit Quick!! 08: Mimikyu

I purchased and built this in 2022, but last october i revisited it and used Sprue Glue to erase seam lines. Unfortunately i did a shoddy job so you can still se where those lines would be, but i still think it mostly looks fine. I also tried to fuse the black ear tips into one piece and the tail, but if you look at the eartips closely you can see the glue and the seamline. Maybe someday i'll prime and paint them? This line of model kits are MUCH simpler than the "Select" line. This thing has one point of articulation, IF you can call it that, and that's that you can kinda move the tail around in its socket. They are very simple to put together, and honestly most kits in this line would make a good introductory plamo gift. The stickers were even comparatively simple compared to a great deal of the Select line. The only four stickers are the eyes and and the cheeks, and those are very simple to align. I like mimikyu and think this was a fun simple kit! Stats, for nerds:

[ziracona]

Gnawing biting scratching at your walls WHAT THE FUCK ZIRA THAT SCENATIO SOUNDS SO COOL poor j&j tho :( and yeah julie definitely came across as self aware with her dissasociation and idk if ill articulate this properly before sleeping but with the way u wrote and spoke about her its seemed like julie's spent a lot of her life in fear or unloved/mistreated/uncared for by partners or parents until the rest of the legion and later on jeff. It seemed like she became pretty present in The Big Escape chapter where she kind of snapped out of it due to (possibly?) Feeling fear again but also guilt towards jeff. And then later when realizing she was 'losing' susie. I am rotating the legion in my head rn

She has. She’s a very interesting and complex person. She mentions that she didn’t love Frank until the moment he killed a man for her, because she knew then that he was completely at her mercy, and he’d done it to himself in an unrecoverable way, by choice. Which made her believe he truly did love her. But also because she could tell he wasn’t sure what she’d do, which meant he saw her as a real, complete person, not some idea of one. For Julie, Frank is the first person who lets her be every part of her, and values them, even the scary ones or the bad ones. He does this often in an unhealthy way, absolutely, but it’s a crucial thing for others to allow you to do, and I think a lot of us would take a bad version over none at all. (In fairness to Susie, Susie did sort of that too, but Susie excused away any flaw or darkness as really something else. Frank saw the hungry, vicious part of her ready to eat a heart if pushed to return fire just the way Julie saw it, and liked it because he had it too.)

So she’s got an extremely complex relationship to herself. All of Legion handles Jeff wanting to take them in differently, with some amount of guilt (sincere remorse from Joey and worry it’s not enough, Frank’s statement it’s too late for them and this is wasted effort, and refusal to believe the situation), but Julie is the only one to reject the offer on Jeff’s behalf. She tells him if he keeps forgiving people like her so easily, someday it’ll get him killed. And pushes him several times to reject her, using his fear of her. She’s a very interesting woman. She’s also the one who tells Frank he has standards when he says he wouldn’t kill Joey for her, which he thinks is odd becuase that’s more basic humanness than any kind of goodness.

To Susie’s credit, though, and later Jeff’s, Julie was never as bad a person as she thinks she is. She is just afraid of herself, because she’s not at all like she’s supposed to be.

You’re right she has some moments she is much more clocked in—not always when she’s active though. During Kindred, she’s not when she’s fighting, not until Susie threatens to kill herself. No One But You has her at like 0% until she actively chooses to try and be introspective. Even then, she tends to pick things apart in her hollow way. Not because there is nothing there, but because she’s afraid to touch it enough to feel it real in her hands.

Oh and thank you! Yeah I loved the concept of that chapter.

[sincerelystranger]

these are all the parts/lines that I had to write an entire story to write

Good Things - “I deserve some good in my life,” Mo said, and He Tian couldn’t tell if he was telling them or trying to convince himself. “I can’t have the only good thing in my life be some fucking asshole that comes and goes as he pleases. I’m not going to spend the rest of my life waiting to be chosen.”

Isn’t what everyone wants from 19 days more dialogue? Is it too much to ask for 4 idiots boys to be more articulate? That’s really the main motivation behind why this short got written

Honesty is the Best Policy - It was between one wet slide and the next that Lan Zhan came to the horrifying realization that he might like Wei Wuxian.

I was only working on Linger by the Door during this time and suddenly this line came into my mind and I just had to write it? It was a very horny time for me. And I wrote like 13k of the story in one sitting. It’s probably why it ended up being sort of a half-finished sort of thing.

The scene in the bathroom where WWX thinks LWJ wants a bj from him is *chef’s kiss* - loved writing that

Blood Sport

There’s no line or anything. I was just really interested in the dynamic of abusive relationships at the time and I wanted to write it with She Li and Mo Guanshan. Still think their dynamic is really interesting.

Starry Night

Omg, my open wound. I want to finish this someday. I really do. I haven’t even gotten to the part that I want to write with this. Tears in my eyes and guilt in my heart about this one. Also, I wrote this because the image of Mo Guanshan and He Tian smoking was so sexy that I had to get it out of my head before it caused my psychic damage.

Plow On, Farmer Boy - Wei Wuxian plows the fields during the day and gets plowed by Lan Zhan at night

That’s it. I wrote this entire little porny piece because I wanted to write this summary. Would you believe me if I said this summary came to me in a dream?

Linger by the Door

The first fanfic that I ever started and worked on. Happened because I watched “The Untamed” 17 times and was consumed with the need for more. So I wrote what I wanted to happen after the last episode  

The SongXiao arc came to me in a dream and I had to delete 5k of the story to write the scene by the campfire. Wei Wuxian’s tears on the little bag containing Xiao Xingchen’s soul could not not be written.

Also, LWJ defending WWX from his uncle and WWX being so in love with LWJ that he can’t even be happy about it – love it! Wish I was a better writer so I could’ve depicted the scene better.

All my stories with Nie Mingjue in them are written because I’m obsessed with Nie Mingjue having big ole tiddies. Please just know that whenever Nie Mingjue is even mentioned in my stories, I’ve had to forcibly delete at least 4 sentences about how big and juicy his tits are. If Nie Mingjue does not have huge tits in your mind, I’m sorry but that’s just not OC for me. 

[hexcryingwolf]

hey so, like,

i need somebody close to glip to confront them about the Pearl thing.

i need someone to be as upset about the idea of it as i am.

i need it to be the last straw for somebody.

because if none of that happens, i cant even articulate how horrid that is. that the prospect of this accusation doesnt upset people.

i hope its not true. i hope with every fiber of my being that it didnt happen.

but i fully believe it did. four years after leaving that space my want was still for glip to heal, stop hurting people, and become a better person. i was still pretty scared of them, but i had pretty much moved on by the beginning of this year. there was nothing i could do about it, and sharing my experiences would just put a target on my back anyway, so as a lot of huge life changes were on the horizon for me i felt prepared to let go.

but i cant let this go. after years of tending the wounds that community inflicted on my this was a knife directly into my heart.

remember that political thing that happened in november 2016? i was in the flora irc by that time, and everyone was very rattled by it. glip announced that, to put some good into the world, theyd do a commission for anyone who donated x amount to y charity (i dont remember the specifics). id been a fan of glip's for years at that point, and this was an opportunity to finally have something id wanted for a long time.

a portrait of my cat, who i got as a baby, who passed away after almost twenty-one years, from my favourite artist.

they truly did a wonderful job with it. it looked so much like him. i dont have a lot of photos of him, he lived in the pre-smartphone era, so this was a precious thing to me. i had it printed, i got a frame, i hung it on my wall. it meant everything to me.

after all of the stuff that happened to me and leaving flora, it became tainted. now instead of reminding me of something i loved dearly it reminded me of something that hurt me badly. i couldnt get rid of it though. i took it off the wall, out of the frame, and slotted it onto a shelf where i could still see it, if i wanted to. it felt really awful, but i knew i loved that cat more than i could ever fear glip, so maybe someday i could look at it again without being reminded of them. maybe someday that portrait could go back up on my wall as an expression of love for my first best friend.

then i was told about what they had supposedly done to Pearl. and when i tell you i fucking bluescreened when i heard that... it fucking shattered me. it was a cold knife in my heart. the dog stuff was horrid of course but, something about this just broke something in me.

i had to walk away from my phone. i had to go find one of my cats and just. i just sat on the floor and pet her as she lay on the futon and purred and trusted me utterly, like im sure Pearl did for you, glip. she knows i love her, that i provide for her, that i would never bring harm to her. i just sat with her and cried.

im crying now, writing this. my hands are shaking.

do you care, glip?

my husband came to check on me, i told him what i was told and he was disgusted, the correct response. he was angry. he was angry. and for the first time in years, i wasnt scared of glip anymore.

i was fucking pissed.

i wish i didnt have to explain why, because it should be damn fucking obvious, but let me lay it out: a person's pet is their ward. we have a duty and responsibility to do everything we can to give the best lives possible for the animals we bring into our lives. we are their source of food, shelter, healthcare, everything. we are their world. and they should be able to trust that we would never use them for something selfish, because here's the thing: they don't understand the world as we do. theyre animals, they simply cant. WE are the ones who know right from wrong and act for them accordingly. WE keep them fed. WE keep them safe. WE make that final decision that they cant make when their suffering is to much to bear anymore. they trust us to do the things for them they can never understand.

we dont use them for our own sexual gratification. we dont do this because they dont understand that theyre being used, they have no context for how they are being treated, they dont know it shouldnt be happening.

they are helpless.

they are voiceless.

they are the perfect victim.

like a baby who will never grow up and tell everyone the truth.

like a baby, glip. like a helpless, voiceless baby.

and dont you ever fucking try to play the "well she initiated it" card. animals initiate all kinds of shit they shouldnt, things that are dangerous, could hurt them, could make them sick. knowing better is OUR job.

also. uhm. hey. did you know that "well they started it" is a thing child predators have said, do say, will say, about their victims.

here's a 10yo who "came onto" her abuser

here's a dad who claimed his daughter was just "a sexual kid"

here's a daycare worker who said the 1yo he abused was "promiscuous"

and you, glip. using Pearl because she was just "showing you love". just because its a "nicer" reason doesnt make you any fucking different from these monsters in my eyes.

i could not look at that portrait anymore. how could i ever look at him, and not remember what you do to helpless creatures like him. how could i think about what you did and remember you telling me no, of course marl never touched the cats, when i asked you if you were concerned that he might have. seems my worry was misplaced.

i burned the portrait. i took a small cast iron pot into my yard, ripped it to shreds, and spent a two hundred count box of matches on it. one wasnt enough. ten wasnt enough. one hundred wasnt enough. i did not want this thing to exist anymore. i did not want him, my cat, my first best friend, that piece of my soul that left this earth with him, to ever be able to be associated with you. that fire is burning in me now.

i do not capitalize your name anymore explicitly because you are subhuman by my standards. i do not want you to find healing and get better. i want you to face the consequences for all the hurt youve cause. i want you deplatformed so you can finally stop putting so much agony into the world.

if you didnt do it, youll have to convince me. you know my discord.

if you did do it, admit it. tell everyone what you did. you owe it to people so they can decide whether they want to associate with you or not based on it. i think if someone asks you directly, you wont lie about it.

because you dont believe you did anything wrong, do you?

[distortionmewtwo]

I am!!!

!!!!!!!!

There is loud emotions that I can't express because I don't know how to articulate XD

But like *Aaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!*

I am so invested but so unsure I'm like looking at everything, I think I have an idea but I've thought that a few times lmao, I saw a sketch with a passed buneary but too much time has gone I doubt Palkia could ressurect them now the way Giratina did UV

So my next thought is is it Osiris? I think that's how it's spelt, Lucifers son? That was a sketch and he's supposedly 'a brat' I mean what a way to rebel and annoy your dad by going and being a champion for another god likely without your dad's permission and maybe some weird spiteful I'm not appreciated here so I'm going to be somewhere I'm appreciated and hopefully get a better parent figure (cause if Giratina is Uvs dad then maybe they were hoping Palkia would be a parental figure to them too? And if I recall correctly Palkia uses she her? So like mom figure could be a kinda I never had a mother and I had a father who hated me so, maybe she'll treat me better and like her son(idk maybe he has daddy issues))

....okay so these thoughts are WONDERFUL-

This isn't it BUT now Osiris as Palkia's champion is gonna be infecting my brain! That's very interesting!! I love your thoughts on it because you're spot-on, Osiris is rebellious and doesn't agree with a lot of what Lucifer does- he's got a softer heart! He deserves a better parental figure tbh- definitely has daddy issues. He was literally created just to be Lucifer's heir on the offchance he somehow dies someday(he will ;3c).

So thanks now I'll be thinking about this!! I'm very glad you're having fun with it :DD I'll be nice and tell you you've gone back too far! (And I may have forgotten to tag it as 'my art', if that's how you're looking- I can't remember lmaooo)

[yuuugay]

well my wrist is unfortunately hurting but not enough to stop me from writing.

Just small fic about my uro mc being comforted by their dados

"A real god, huh."

Kerí finds himself thinking about what that woman said earlier. The stinging feeling still present on their chest. It shouldn't have affected him that much but; no matter how many times they hear something similar, it never fails to make them feel lesser than they already feel like they are.

It doesn't matter how much he does for them, being their eternal guardian and all, he'll always be an errand god. A diety without domain, Kerí who will last forever.

Knees up to their chest, they start to think of all the times they've been brushed off, It felt so lonely. To suck it up without fail and show a nonchalant facade. But Kerí could be vulnerable here. No one's watching him shed a tear or two. They shouldn't be a burden to anyone with his problems. He should be strong to face whatever will come, he made that promise to himself. But they have been finding it difficult lately, maybe it's just the years shedding that resolve or perhaps the consequences of suppression.

Kerí doesn't care to think about that right now, only to cry.

He doesn't hear the footsteps coming towards him.

He doesn't hear the sound of fabric encroaching his space and wrapping him in a tight embrace.

"What the?!" Kerí said, absolute mortified he was caught off-guard with puffy eyes. "Unhand me at once! Or you will face conseque-"

"Dads."

Kerí softens slightly but doesn't forget to turn away not that discreetly and wipes the remaining tears from his face with his robe.

"Candle, dear." Rafael starts, with that softened stare that never fails to make Kerí feel loved. Not that he would ever admit that.

"Care to tell me and your father what's wrong?" He continues.

"We saw you here. You looked troubled." Nero adds, looking at Kerí with concern he only saves for a few individuals.

"Troubled?!" Kerí fakes an incredulous expression with a bushy brow raised. "I was falling asleep until you two disturbed me!" He puffed. But cheeks a lil warm from being caught. But play the part of stoicism and perhaps it'll kick in someday for him.

"Kerí, we saw you crying." Nero says, straight to the point.

"And! You did that little groan you always do when you're really upset about something. I remember!" Rafael adds unhelpfully.

Kerí curses to himself. Absolutely not happy that he showed himself bare. Let alone to two people he wants to be strong for.

"It's..." Kerí murmurs. Uncomfortable with the affection he is being shown. But deep down appreciates.

"It's what, Candle?" Rafael prompts gently. His head resting gently on Nero's shoulder.

"Stuff!" Kerí continues, but not very insightful.

Both dad's look to eachother. Knowing not to force an answer from their child. Their son doesn't need to give them an answer because no matter what, the both of them will always care for their little Candlelight.

Kerí looks up with cheeks burning but quietly asks them to not ask any further. Not because he doesn't want to open up to them, he wants to, but because words are hard to articulate for Kerí in an emotional time.

Knowing their son, both of them nod.

"Do you want us to keep you company?" Nero gently asks. familial love evident on his eyes.

Kerí thinks about it. Battling between wanting to and not wanting to waste their time with him just sitting doing nothing. But his wants win over him and he nods subtly.

"Don't mind if I do!" Rafael doesn't waste time cuddling up to his child. Nero does the same, but with less enthusiasm but with equal affection for the small gesture Kerí appreciates.

And without much conversation coming from Kerí and comforting touches and the occasional concerned glance towards the emotionally constipated diety. They start to watch the calming garden together as a family.

But not without Rafael breaking the silence talking about miscellaneous things. Nero nodding, seemingly understanding everything his soulmate is spouting and Kerí; who was once apprehensive, now feeling better by the second.

He felt safe and loved.

And That's what should've mattered in the first place.

-Ooga

[autumnslance]

(@driftward) Let's see. Let's Get ((REAL)) fic writer asks, for.. ✨, 💫,🎀,🎀,🎀,💌

*screeches*

Someday I am making a prompt list and there'll be no numbers or letters or symbols, just the questions so folks who aren't menaces have to put the full text in the Ask.

Anyroad. Scheduling maintenance on our local bot later. For now:

✨What's a fic you've posted you wish you could breathe life into again and have people talking about it? (or simply a fic you wish got more credit)

Fics like "When Everything Changes" and "Where the Skies Are Safe" are works I'm quite fond of, but are hard to sell to fandom readers either here or on Ao3; they're from the perspective of my OCs as small children, and very few people want to read kid fic.

But a chunk of my literature studies were in YA and Kid Lit, as I originally was dual-majoring an Education degree, and I've always found getting into a child's (or pet's) mindsets and perspectives to be an interesting exercise as a writer, and finding what new info it can reveal that an adult POV won't notice or would see differently.

💫what is your favorite kind of comment/feedback?

Any and all of them, but incoherent screeching is always fun, as are rambles about what someone liked, maybe even the why if they can articulate it (if not, that's cool, just copy-pastes of favorite lines with keysmash responses are great too).

🎀give yourself a compliment about your own writing

x3?!

FINE.

-I am a decent mimic; I can copy a style and voice patterns pretty well, enough to make what I'm writing read or "sound" like the style I'm playing in. The attempt in many of my works to feel like quest text or the official stories on the Lodestone is intentional, and I feel good when I get comments on it cuz that's the goal.

-I can drop some evocative, pithy lines to make one giggle and/or break one's heart.

-My constant replaying and revisiting the text, and talking to/reading about others' canon-centric takes on characters and situations, means my NPC characterizations tend to be good. Which is good practice for making my own OCs distinct people that fit into the world well.

💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

(Again, with the caveat I've been in a bit of a slump break since BSotP, here's a bit of more the Thancred in the First fic I don't...think? I've shared? If I have, what of it! Below the cut cuz someone asked multiple questions so this got long.)

“So can you build it?” Thancred asked.

The blacksmith looked over his crude drawings and the schematics pulled from the Tower’s archives, as well as the detailed descriptions Thancred had painstakingly written with Gridick’s aid. “I think so; enough to get a prototype working, and then we can go from there.”

Thancred nodded. “Do let me know,” he said, offering his coins for the initial deposit.

It had been several months since that first disastrous patrol. Thancred had been on a few other patrols since, as well as forays into the forest on his own. The more common wildlife wasn’t much of a problem, but the sin eaters, when stumbled across, left him feeling as if his simple blades were no longer adequate.

So he had delved into the Tower’s archives, seeking out weapon schematics. The Exarch couldn’t say which time period the Tower had come from when summoned to the First, but Thancred figured it had to be later than his own, since the Tower was still in Mor Dhona from his perspective.

Days of searching had found not only equivalent Allagan plans, but also a few Garlean and even proper Bozjan examples for the sort of gunblade he wanted. The weapon would still allow him his speed and dexterity, but also was far more defensive, for himself and others.

The only trouble was going to be the cartridges, as Thancred could not imbue them himself. That was a bridge to cross later; for now, he would see if the Mean’s artisans could even create a workable gunblade.

He made his way across the Crystarium toward the markets before returning to his apartment. He wanted to stop by the city’s single barber.

Thancred still wasn’t the best at shaving daily; his schedule was still too easily thrown off, he was often in the field, and frankly it wasn’t much of a concern. His hair was getting far too long and ragged, though, enough that something had to be done.

In another moon, he would count a year on the First, though the mirror still showed only a day had passed on the Source, which was the smallest of comforts. He helped the Exarch search the Tower’s archives as the man tried various spells and counter-effects to send Thancred’s soul back to his body, but to no avail.