#and so theres less familiarity ig

[nintendont2502]

I don't know how to phrase it but like. There's something about living in a place that's only represented in media when it's media *ABOUT* that place yk

[snekdood]

Learning that i cant really have friends online if i want ppl to like my art sucks

[satoruhour]

racer jjk are so good 😩 i wonder if u can make a part two where is explain how the boys (gojo, geto, nanami, toji) and the reader first met. THANK YOUUU

a/n: thx baby glad u liked them 😉 here you go! also mb if this is lacklustre guys 🧍‍♀i didn’t wanna write smut bc it’d be too similar ig. fun little post! pls still support me 🥹 (nanami’s is a bit suggestive!) / pt.1 here

✶ GOJO

you actually meet his ass when he almost crashes into u and while making a difficult drift turn before swerving at the sight of you. plus  surprise … you’re the police chief’s daughter. gojo at this point is still using a jacked up camaro, so it’s a wonder he’s able to still speed so well away from officers. but it’s not like he was running away from any crime, he just so happened to stumble across an interrogation of a fellow classmate initiated by the police chief’s son (your younger, cop worshipper brother). it was hardly an interrogation tho, more of a bully circle. gojos an cocky man but hes not entirely closed off from things happening around him. when theres people being wrongfully treated he steps in, but he’s pushing the limit a little running away from your brother and his police chief dad. especially when he’s got ties with the racing scene lol. bro doesnt exactly care tho, cause he knew the modifications he made to his engine he’s sure to get away lmaoooo.

there’s a rush of adrenaline that matches the exact moments when the first gear change happens and his foot presses down hard on the break, feeling the familiar sensation of the steering wheel under his fingers as he turns it to the right. nothing like a successful run of a difficult drift route, even more so with an annoying fucking kid chasing him. he was miles behind too, and gojo has to laugh out to himself in the driver’s seat before he yelps out at the shadow on the street.

“damn street lights. don’t even want to spend a few thousand to fix it,” he scoffs, thinking the figure would’ve apologised and ran away, but he’s a little pumped to see you, a relative of the very kid he was running away from. “don’t wanna chase me with daddy over there?”

you notice he’s nodding his head toward the incessant siren, your hotheaded father and your insufferable brother, two of them who butt heads all the time but still manage to get along. you couldn’t care less though, because of their arrogant, conceited behaviour; you vowed never to be like that. your father failed to raise you how he wanted you to turn out: dyed hair at sixteen, a stick ’n poke a year later, colluding with the “wrong” people (they were harmless, he just didn’t like them).

so he turned to your brother, corrupting his mind, and since then, you’ve been a ghost in the house, happy to even be ignored by the conservative kin that find people who are different a ’hassle’. with a story like this, gojo isn’t exactly clueless to your situation so he reaches over and opens the door to the passenger seat in a silent offer.

what’s a little salt in the wound, right?

gojo giggles when you slip in like he knew you would and you simply shrug, knowing this would seal the deal. you know you’re right when you hear furious honks from the police car which is quickly approaching, but watching gojo evade police on the news made you confident he’d outrun them every. single. time. “ooh, doesn’t sound good, princess. i’ll pick you up if you get kicked out of the house.”

it was such a dirty, rude comment that you would’ve slapped him but instead you just burst out laughing, weird noises and all before you’re patting the hand on his stick shift, “drive, hotshot.”

all you can do is roll your eyes with a smile, not missing the exhilarated smile and blush on his cheeks. you already feel at home in the 1969 camaro he’s driving, seeing the exact same car later that night when you’re waiting on the sidewalk with a bulk of your things.

“so much for being daddy’s girl.” gojo smiles, a little sickeningly that you want to punch him (you hear it’s like that from his friends and you find it to be true), but you accept the ride anyway, with a promise he’d get something more later.

✶ GETO

the first time you see him is before a race, having stumbled into the bustling underground of cars and the peak of 2000s fashion because you’re still navigating japan even after six months on an exchange program. it’s difficult when they have different parking lots for every monument building, which all look the same, mind you. it was like a puzzle for your poor mind, especially since there was tons of undocumented alleys in the area you were in. u immediately get hit by the smell of petrol and smoke and conversation and it’s like woah…. stepping entirely into a new world sort of??? even with his fame suguru stays humble tho, keeping gojo ans nanami close to him while keeping his distance from fangirls and stuff. shit gets messy !!!!

gojo nudges geto so hard he almost falls if not for his mazda behind him, and he’s ready to shoot a glare towards satoru but then he looks past the annoying man and into the crowd to find you, doe eyed and looking all around the place like a deer caught in headlights. you’re all dressed up in a cute get-up, hair framing your face so cutely he has half a mind to talk to you. plus, it’s clear you don’t belong here, and there isn’t anything wrong with that but the people here sometimes tend to be a tad bit… stuck-up.

there’s already a few in the crowd giving you weird looks and others giggling, clearly put off by the confused glances you exchange between your phone and the area. geto is prepared to head your way, but his resolve hardens when he sees todo and his gang start to approach the poor person who can only freeze in place.

geto pushes off his car immediately, completely disregarding whatever comment gojo was making while nanami watches silently. todo’s already asked you a question, and when you don’t answer, everyone knows the next thing he’ll do is to humiliate you, but not before geto interferes.

“she’s mine, aoi.” shoving him away, todo only scoffs and spits on the floor beside you because he can’t do anything except leave the place before anything escalates. it’s a clear rule, too, that anyone’s partner or significant other is off-limits, unless you want to propose a race to win them over — but even so it’s not that simple.

the murmurs only heighten when geto asks if you’re okay, a palm on your back to lead you away from the action of everything. thankfully, his mazda and the other two men are stationed at the corner, and the crowd’s attention slowly pulls away from you and onto the revving engines of the two competing cars.

“you okay?” geto looks down, shielding the bright car park lights and peeking a glance at where you were meant to go. it’s a quaint cafe in the basement of a building near shibuya square — a place which could be accessed by the parking lot, but it looks like you took an early turn and ended up in this one instead.

all you could muster up was a nod, mind going a hundred miles per hour just like those cars that were going to race; you’re more focused on his brown eyes that hold yours too well, though, dark and hypnotising that he has to repeat his question.

“yeah. for the most part, i guess. tha—” you mumble, but before you can bow and thank the man who’s already making a mark on your mind with his imposing stature, his friend chimes in.

“don’t mind aoi, he’s just intense like that.” you look past geto to see the white-haired racer who sports a bright grin, and to his side, a blonde, bored-looking guy who’s around the same age. “where you headed?”

geto waves a hand at them and cuts in as you answer, “i’ll take you. don’t mind those two idiots.” his sudden offer has your heart jumping just a bit; a mean brooding guy looking for a little cafe who’s holding a cinnamoroll event at the moment? what a sight to behold.

you’re all prepared to go when gojo tosses the keys to his mazda, and you’re thinking that maybe it really was further than expected but the man is soon leaning down to whisper into your ear.

“but before you go, want to watch me race?” geto grins, noticing that you’re at a loss for words again. you do that a lot, huh. it wouldn’t hurt to show off a little to get you absolutely speechless.

“i’ll treat you to whatever you want in that cute cafe, too.”

✶ NANAMI

ok the small drabble i wrote was sorta how they met but yes basically that!!!! nanami comes in at first (but you’re not doing much, just hanging around in the back), panicking cause he’s got an important race tmr (he just doesn’t gojo to win over whether he would have to borrow one of gojo’s dodge chargers) and hes like ? hes wondering what’s wrong with his dodge and when your dad mentions how he may need to order the parts his world falls apart fr 😭. and then he ends up borrowing it from gojo LMFAOOO. since you guys roughly know their meeting (nanami’s return to the shop after your father fixes the car and then eating you out wheeew) ill highlight life with nanami after that whole shebang!

you like to recall the first time you’ve met nanami, hardly a meeting, really, because you didn’t even see his face, but you hear his voice. a deep timbre with a seriousness to it that tells you that he could’ve fixed his own car if he tried and maybe just lacked the parts. however, you’re appalled when your father comes home later that night and tells you it was a dodge charger they were dealing with, a 1968 release that was no doubt passed down in his generation.

so when you’re peeking out of the supply room the second time nanami returns, you’re not surprised by his blonde hair, possibly a descendant of european blood, but had been born and raised in japan. it wasn’t uncommon, but it felt like he was such a specific ethnicity with the features he had. you’re right when you’re out with nanami a few weeks later, learning his grandfather was danish, smiling as he talked about his family.

it was by chance that he got into the racing scene, getting acquainted with gojo briefly because he was always infuriating in class — but then the both of them began to grow out of high school and entered university, introducing nanami to both geto, gojo’s best friend and to racing. it had made an impression on his heart immediately, reluctantly asking to ride in gojo’s car as they sped through the night and then trying his hand at it later.

“so geto-san was the one who taught you how to drift?” you ask from the passenger seat, a calm atmosphere surrounding the two of you as nanami takes you out for a casual drive along the freeway, bringing you to his favourite place to drift ever since he’s trained there. it was a clean ascent once he reaches the mountain, jogging over to open the door for you before sticking out a hand.

“thank you… kento,” you feel his hand tighten around yours, bringing you around to the front before leaning on the front of the car with you, the jangle of the bracelet he’s got you making noises when he pulls you into his side. it’s been a month with him, yet he already feels so committed, albeit stoic.

but you realise, in the midst of it, you’re the only one who can manage to pry a smile out of him, the lines on his face fading away when he picks you up from your dad’s shop. the loud engine is always an indicator, greeting him at the door of the garage as your father sends you off with a grin, leaning into the driver’s seat to press a peck through the window.

“when you say my name like that,” nanami mumbles, appreciating the scene with his lips in your hair; and while nanami is all soft and gentle with you, sometimes his carnal instincts get the best of him and he says the filthiest things, unprompted, “it makes me want to eat you out on the hood of my car again.”

you roll your eyes with a smile, because you’ve already done it twice: one in the shop and another in a secluded car park, but you know nanami hasn’t glutted his appetite for you yet, and he makes sure you know he never will.

✶ TOJI

the drabble previously mentioned how you were a little older megumi — through tutoring megumi, you met toji. it was a chance encounter sort of, u put up an ad at the end of your second year of uni since the winter break was a little longer than usual, so you decided to earn a bit of pocket money thru tutoring in the one subject you were most comfortable in: humanities. the syllabus in schools nowadays has become harder too, even going as far as to research papers and then scoff in disgust at the intensity of the questions lol … it’s routine in the school system to do that, gearing up for the questions you might be asked when u first get an enquiry call on the line. you hang up with a time and address and when u reach megumi opens the door, but toji emerges from his man cave (garage. hes obsessed w/ his corvette) later and jesus christ hes (almost) six foot of pure dilf that youre considering sidling up to him instead LMAO. esp with how the house looked, it wouldnt be so bad being a old man’s bitch

the doorbell you rang reverberates throughout the house, albeit a bit muffled, but the door opens quickly and you’re met with a black spiky-haired kid, who looks a few years younger than you. but megumi didn’t really need an introduction, because you’re pointing it out to him once inside.

“aren’t you the kid that got suspended for beating up gang members?” sometimes his seniors never knew when to shut up. to this, megumi just sighs.

“yep, that’s me. i told you my name over the phone but,” he extends a hand, “i’m fushiguro megumi.”

you hum and take his hand, introducing yourself as well before a thud makes you snap your head to the noise, where a larger and taller man emerges from the door that connects the living room to the garage. he has features similar to megumi’s and he’s currently clutching his toe, stubbing it on the cabinet on his way out and cursing his head off.

it isn’t difficult to match name to face for him as well, remembering a report you did on the increasingly popular racing scene starting up again. don’t ask — it was a pretty open assignment and you didn’t hesitate to write about the culture back then, something you always wished you lived in.

now, you’re not too taken aback by casually stumbling across fushiguro toji’s home, but more of how he managed to maintain his physique for so many years. if there’s anything your research told you, he was more on the lanky side in his twenties, the right side of his mouth clear from the scar while dominating the drifting scene back in the 80s.

“who’re you, kid?” a little annoyed at the name but you open your mouth to introduce yourself, and toji nods, although confused. it seems like he’s not too involved in megumi’s grades, because when you tell him megumi himself had called you over a bad grade in literature and social studies, his expression drops into an ‘o’. 

“ah, i would’ve taught him myself but…” you knew he dropped out of high school before, living a crap life trying to pay off debts his father had left him and turning to racing and winning bets to make a living out of it. it was scary how this information was so accessible to you via one of his interviews, but you can tell he’s put it long before him, choosing to focus on raising megumi and maintaining his corvette.

“make yourself at home, alright, doll?” doll. you stutter out an affirmative reply.

though when he said that, you hadn’t imagined wandering into the same door he had came out of before. he was probably checking on the condition of his car, knees protruding out of the corvette’s side as he rolls out on the creeper at the sound of someone approaching. you didn’t wish to do this, truly, but when some kids from megumi’s school had attempted to play a prank by picking toji’s lock to get back at megumi, the latter had discovered them after coming out the side door.

needless to say, megumi still holds up his reputation, chasing them down for more than three blocks (it was seven) before proceeding to, you assume, beat them up. you imagine it’s routine for toji at this point, but you still want to at least let him know.

“he’s off again?” toji sits up after hearing your explanation, using the wrench to scratch his temple. sure, he’s only like twenty years older than you — it certainly doesn’t stop you from checking out how his muscles bulge against his compression shirt, or the grey sweatpants he’d got on that you told yourself not to peep at. “don’t mind the kid, i’ll lecture him when he returns later.”

he sighs and grumbles under his breath, expecting you to leave, and when you don’t he just raises an eyebrow, a silent prompt for you to explain what else you needed. you only pointed to the hood. 

“uh… toji-san, if you’re keen on getting back into racing,” toji fully stands up to his height, curious on what you have to say, but also wondering how much balls you had to talk about racing in front of him, “you should really change your 283 cubic-inch V8 to a 327. i, uh, heard the specifications on the new engine has better fuel delivery and horsepower.”

toji relaxes when you actually know your crap, not wanting to deal with another annoying fan begging him to get back into racing, although you’re not entirely off the hook. “and why should i listen to you, hm, doll?”

he stands there, unimpressed, but you didn’t research cars like a madman for nothing. it was a rabbit hole you had commended yourself for diving into, too, because you always had wanted to start, just, how? and that changed when you finally had the opportunity to delve into the complicated world of cars with the help of your friend’s dad who was a mechanic. “um… you really don’t. just giving some pointers, or at least, recommendations that go well with your ’66 corvette.”

oh my god? you know the exact year his chevrolet was released too?

the ex-racer only nods slowly, keeping it in mind for the next time he has the time to switch to an updated engine, but he didn’t expect help to come from your hands the next time, working under the hood like a professional while still leaving the heavy lifting to him. you had fun each time in the garage, exchanging intel and geeking about cars while you both open up to each other — all under the guise of tutoring his son.

since then, toji has taken his corvette out to meet you more than he takes it out for errands, meeting you with a promise that he would take care of your university fees. but none of the time spent with you would’ve warned him that you two would be changing his next engine, too, except that maybe, you were finally his girl.

why does toji’s always end up the longest bye. also this is the only req i’ve gotten, i swear i don’t bite guys. ♡ thirsts and drabble requests are open!

[suffarustuffaru]

I don’t speak Japanese so I’d LOVE to hear more about the differences between the English and Japanese Re:Zero fandoms

yeah sure its very interesting to me now that ive noticed it more lately :o !! though ok disclaimer - i dont speak japanese either hah so if anyone is seeing this and does speak japanese + is familiar with the japanese speaking side of this fandom please add info if youd like!! and of course ill be mainly speaking from the english side of things bc im more familiar with that yes (sorry anon again im not a japanese speaker T^TT so sorry if i tread on info you already know!!). but yeah im speaking from my own experiences given the Topic at hand. ive been in this fandom since... 2019?? which is so wild to me aljsdfljsd.

anyway so - i think the big difference is mainly that the english fandom and many english speaking people that engage with rezero are. to put it bluntly, misconception runs Rampant to a very Interesting degree. to the point where it seems like the english speaking side of the fandom is More. Aggressive. than the japanese fandom. not that the japanese speaking side of the fandom is perfect - also bc what fandom is ever perfect 100% of the time, tbh - but that the louder people in the english rezero fandom are. well its a Very low bar. Very low. and from what little ive seen and heard so far, the japanese fandom tends to understand rezero and its characters better than the english fandom. which ig makes sense bc you know, rezero is japanese media, and also im sure cultural differences come into play here as well (im not familiar enough on this to speak about it in depth but the cultural differences feel Pretty Clear even though i cant 100% put my finger on what they specifically are).

but also bc yeah. its not That hard to beat some of the english fandom when it comes to media comprehension. misreading rezero is unfortunately Extremely common, both in and out of the rezero community. its Everywhere - youtube, myanimelist, ao3, ff.net, reddit, twitter, various rezero discords - and from what ive experienced, rezero tumblr basically kind of feels like finding an oasis after crawling through the desert for days on end lajdslfjs. which is probs bc rezero tumblr is Smaller and also a lot of us seem to be lgbtq+ in some way or be allies, so you dodge a lot of the misogyny and homophobia that happens in other rezero english circles. its why you see a lot of openly queer rezero-related posts on here while its a bit more. barren. in other rezero english places yes. bc its more safe to post queer rezero things on rezero tumblr rather than rezero reddit for Sure.

im not sure how the japanese fandom is with that exactly but theres some interesting differences between whats popular in the english fandom vs the japanese fandom. i mean as an otto fan ive been noticing how hes more popular with the japanese fandom—and on top of that, ottosuba is Way More popular in the japanese fandom too. reinsuba and julisuba seem to usually be the most popular mlm subaru ships in both fandoms but ottosuba is like A Little Up There in the japanese fandom. not sure if its on the same level as a ship like reinsuba but ottosubas Definitely loved as a ship. from what little ive seen it also seems like ships like vichisha are more acknowledged by the japanese fandom? im not entirely sure on like—Complete differences regarding what the japanese fandom finds interesting that may differ from english fandom, so ill really have to look more into the japanese fandoms fanart and fanfic when i can bc im pretty curious too. in general though, it seems like the japanese fandom has a bit more variety…. you can find fanart on So Many characters in rezero (which already has a very Massive cast full of very fleshed out characters) there. not that you cant in the english fandom bc theres a Bit of variety too, but id more so contribute that a little more to the Big Cast and less to having actual variety in fancontent. and of course im not saying that the japanese fandom may be a bit barren in some areas of fancontent—bc inevitably when u have a big cast of characters, side character content is gonna be more sparse compared to the main characters, but to me it does feel like the english fandom lacks variety in comparison. (and also yeah. seems like the japanese fandom acknowledges gay ships more in general tbh.)

whats focused in fancontent makes it easy to tell what may be popular in a fandom in terms of how fans perceive the source material and what fandoms want to do with the source material, if that makes sense. and its very easy to tell that with the english fandom if you just hop on rezero ao3–or even better, rezero reddit given theres a fanfic ideas thread thats usually pinned right at the top of the site. again i havent looked at japanese fanfic for rezero yet (bc i dont know where to look oops ajdndn) but when it comes to the english fandom you can tell that theyre generally more focused on the female cast both in fanart and in fanfic bc. theyre women and many fans on say, reddit or various rezero discords, are cis straight men, so inevitably… well lets just say you can tell when a man makes content for this fandom o.o theres also the. very weird reaction fic trends and trends following popular fics in the fandom, the two biggest being the watching him die again and again react fic and re:forgotten, the former of which includes a harem plot with subaru and the main girls of rezero while the latter is one of those subaru gets tortured by his ooc friends and then he gets revenge on them fics. which i suppose says something about the english fandom too.

of course on ao3 its dominated mainly by english fics (of course not all fics on there for rezero are in english— big shoutout to all the non english fics on rezero ao3 ur doing great <3 — but the majority are in english). and while yeah ur occasionally gonna find stuff like queer content or side character content or rarepair content, its definitely not that big in amount and also comes with the risk of. Hate. if anyones reading this and remembers the lone star stuff. (if u dont know—lone star was a julius x emilia fic where they NTR subaru or some shit and then it got bombed with hate bc of the ship? yeah.) so yeah english fandom is very cis straight oriented, ironically with the nastiest people being the very people that rezero criticizes. though this is also my personal experience, i do know several people personally whove been in this fandom for a while or were here for a while and yeah english fandom isnt very welcoming at times???? and it seems like at the very least the japanese fandom is A Little Less Aggressive than the english fandom is.

otherwise. yeah im very very curious about more of the differences in popular content between the japanese vs english fandom. i mean the english fandom’s main focus on the female cast for. Interesting Reasons other than their actual character depth is… interesting. and the astreas being popular in general vs otto + ottosubas popularity fluctuating is also very interesting to me (but i have several guesses as to Why that is), among other things. yeah id love to know what else the japanese fandom likes about rezero and see more of their content. i also have to wonder if characters like emilia and subaru are hated less by the japanese fandom…. T^T well that and the english fandom and many english speaking people engaging in rezero have this interesting pattern of either hating subaru No Matter What, wanting subaru to Not Be Subaru (ie using him as a self insert almost or attempting to change him into virtually another character), or putting subaru on a pedestal and ignoring his flaws and mistakes and that he Can do wrong. like theres Really not a lot of nuance there. so i wonder if the japanese fandom is. A Little more chill when it comes to character opinions like this too.

[definitelynotshouting]

So what I’m vaguely understanding is like. in the au ur actually writing, it’s a lot more “painful” but generally will have a better ending. with the other au it’s a “lot less” painful but has a kind of worse ending? ??

I think they have equal amounts of pain tbh, and in some cases the "immediate answers" au is more painful than canon. Its just different types of pain

For canon, Grian is emotionally isolated but does still see and occasionally talk to people for the like, 9 months he's server hopping and running from himself. And thats less than a year of it too!!! Which is still a LOT of time to be alone, and theres a different trauma in being on the run for any reason/essentially being homeless that shouldnt be ignored, but its functionally different from the type of isolation he goes through in ia.

But in the immediate answers au (which ig i will be calling it that from now on, or ia for short), Grian spends multiple years fully 100% isolating himself and slowly losing the parts of himself that make him him. Sure, he's no longer starving. Sure, he has a place to stay thats his and his own. But its empty. He's empty. And theres a unique loss in that emptiness that i think hits particularly hard, esp if you're familiar with clinical depression and how it gradually strips everything from you.

And, ofc, in the ia au Grian doesnt return to hermitcraft like he does in canon hunger au, although he does get back in touch with a lot of hermits and makes a new and better life for himself in Vault Hunters. Its a lot more of a bittersweet ending than canon's happy/hopeful one, in that way. So yeah i'd say in some ways ia is worse but i think mostly its just Different

[dayurno]

Hmm I definitely agree with most of your rant regarding neils ao3 characterization, with the idea that gay relationships can't be written as heteronormative, honestly especially if one of them is gender nonconforming, and I do think some of the dislike around his character can be from a place of transmisogyny. And people who ask for more masc4masc and fem4fem couples are a bit dumb. But I still have a bone to pick with his characterization on ao3 and I can't put my finger on whyyyy

Maybe, it's because (and I'm speaking about the state of the fandom back around 3??or 4?? Years ago when I would actively go through the tags and look for fanfiction and neil was my fave) it was always neil bottoming in every fic ever, no matter what character he was being shipped with in the fic, but like a lot of these fics or even the ones that weren't explicit would have something happen to him where he was the victim or he needed to be coddled and comforted by everyone else, and while I don't think neil is impervious and will never feel and inch of distress in his life, i can't help but think it's a bit ooc (not that there's anything wrong with ooc fic) and it's like neil can also be dangerous and has the capacity to hurt ppl and can be a dickhead but I don't think alot of fic back then showed that? They'd just call him sassy maybe he'd make a few quips and that's it. I think theres a lot of fics out there that wipe out his complexity ig. Maybe I just hate his characterization bc I wanna be a contrarion and I find his characterization boring if it's like that because you can find it in any fandom assigned bottom ever and ive seen it too much so i wanted to see a switch up or its more about his personality being written and less about being feminine and bottoming though i do think the ppl who write him being more feminine also tend to write his character a certain way. But like I also cant help but wonder where it comes from, like it's neil written like this and rarely ever andrew so

Back when I was younger I used to think people in fandoms would make the character who revieves the more feminine one, maybe it's bc it makes it easier to relate and project, or maybe it's bc it makes it easier to contend with a gay relationship if you can fit into like heteronormative boxes bc that's what's familiar to you and that's what you know and see everywhere, or maybe it is just people being fetishistic but now I don't know🤔 also I do think top neil or dom neil is just kinda fun like you said to me kandrew r more the type to have vanilla missionary sex their whole lives but neil would be more adventurous and willing to try new things, he also has cheek and audacity which is cute, like a puppy

Sorry this is so long, I've just thought about it before and has no one to discuss it with

no need to apologize i asked for opinions after all!!!!!!!

i see what you mean re: neil losing his edge, and i do think that it happens a lot with him because he is the protagonist and a prominent character in the vast majority of aftg fics, but i wouldn't say the same de-fanging process doesn't happen to andrew. the fandom has made it a point to soften all of andrew's edges; it's one of the most common bones people pick with nora that she never gives into the idea that andrew becomes a normal, well-adjusted, life-loving member of society post-canon. whether i enjoy andrew in a softer way or not is irrelevant, but i think this is definitely not a neil-only phenomena. i wouldn't even say it's really more pronounced when it's neil! i just think that helplessness, that lack of agency and bite, is a staple of most fandom content because it's self-indulgent and forces characters to act on their relationships by asking for and receiving help from their peers, whatever it might look like for each specific fandom

now i will say that i don't think that the process of making characters wholesome and ultimately consumable has anything to do with whether they are written as feminine or not; whether they are only in a receiving position or not. sexual preferences and gender presentations are inherently neutral: they don't say anything about a person's personality. i think neil bottoming being such a popular trope is just due to a natural consequence of how andrew and neil's relationship is presented in the books — andrew as someone who, at the point of where canon stops, physically cannot allow himself to be on the receiving end of any sexual act, and neil, who loves him and wants to help andrew to find pleasure in whatever way he can. it's the dynamic we're given in the original text, so it's what people tend to think about more.

of course i'm not saying it never overlaps with neil's excessive sanitizing and de-fanging, and it might as well be, for some people, that neil's acquiescence to andrew having control of what they do in bed is an entirely justifiable reason for writing him in a more feminine way. my opinion is, i think, just that that is not inherently immoral — that feminine people with those sexual preferences exist, and at times might even find that their gender presentation plays a big role in why they prefer to interact with sex the way they do. the history of femme pillow princesses in the lesbian community is vast, just as is the history of stone top butches. these minor niches don't imply that all feminine and masculine people must respectively bottom and top, but we do no one a favor by disregarding their experiences when they are a big part of how queer people do sex. i think we fall into old conservative myths when we moralize sexual preferences; i think we try to conform to cisheteronormative ideals when we deny gender presentations that are inherently tied to sex.

and just as a personal comment, i actually agree with you about neil being written as a perpetual, helpless victim and losing his agency. i don't enjoy it. i think it is born from indulgence, born from projection and wish fulfilment, but indulgence isn't immoral. projection and wish fulfilment aren't immoral, either. and, while i don't like the sanitization of aftg characters, i think it is less a character or fandom-specific issue and more of a material consequence of late stage capitalism; it's a symptom of a sickness that goes beyond our little constructed world, and one we should discuss, in my opinion, outside of the boundaries of fandom and individual guilt

i guess my tl;dr is that sometimes things are bad and we have to sit with their right to exist anyway. and my general tl;dr is that we help no one when we go out of our ways to condemn and criticize content where one of the characters is gender non-conforming because of said gender nonconformity. and, ultimately, that what we are missing is more fanfiction about kevin day in tiny tennis skirts

[s3xtones]

hiii ily,

this might be quite long so sorry about that :/

theres a pretty lady i’ve known a very long time who i am very much in love with. i feel as though we’re bound by that in a way, she knows i love her without me having to tell her and i know she loves me. ig the bond that we have isn’t enough tho since we’ve tried several times before and it never ends up working out for us. she mostly blames it on herself and her ‘self sabotaging tendencies’ but there’s been times where i’ve been so horrible and so obviously at fault and it’s almost as if we start off beautifully but we both become almost chaotic and end up splitting again.

we’ve spent a lot of time apart and as of right now i feel as tho we’ve both matured a lot and my love for her is just as strong if not stronger than before. we talk less but it’s almost as if we don’t need to, whenever we do however we always clarify and honour the love we still have for each other even tho we’re separate. i really do believe in a relationship with her and i’m not close to giving up on that but my problem is that i’m worried that she struggles focusing on someone long term in general.

we mostly stay out of each others way now, checking up every once in a while. she has a boyfriend now too which doesn’t bother me in itself but he’s sort of the object of the issue. i don’t mean to sound cocky but i know that i could take her back whenever i wanted, boyfriend or not. that’s where the problem arises tho because they’ve only been together around 2 weeks and in that time alone she’s flirted with me and mentioned (not directly to me) that she’d ‘literally die for me’ and hates that she sabotaged our relationship calling herself insane for doing it :( .

as i’ve mentioned i do see a future with her. i love her and i want her and i guess i’m selfish in the sense that if we were guaranteed to last, i wouldn’t have any problems taking her away from her boyfriend at all. the only reason i’m reluctant is because i feel like if she can’t focus on her current man for 2 weeks without running back to me at 4 in the morning, then she’s not ready for something long term and i’d hate for us to go through the effort of getting back together just for it to end in a couple weeks. i really feel torn because i want her to myself but i see no longevity in us. i think if tried to focus on the person she’s wit now it’d prove to me that it’s possible for us to have something long term. we’ve had a connection ever since we met and i feel so drawn to her. she’s a real angel to me and i wish her sm peace and happiness regardless of our circumstances. i really need a new perspective. tysm for reading this and giving advice if u do <3

oh and btw she shares ur first name <3

lots of love <333

A DOOMED LOVE STORY.

Idk taking her from her man is just an ego / pride move n a terrible way to get back into the relationship. Based on what you’ve told me , i think y’all are both confused on what you actually want from each other and what to do with the feelings you have for one another. the space is good for now and actually maybe there should be even MORE SPACE. Her Reachin out at 4am is not a good thing cause she’s creepin and even though to you that’s a sign you can “take her” it’s also evidence of the overlying problem, COMMITMENT!

If y’all both cannot commitment 100% it’s never gon be right.

Commitment takes trust, faith, love , discipline, loyalty and a lot of self reflection.

It feels weird to let go of someone so familiar they felt like home. You get to reminiscing bout old good times n wishing you could do it all over again but the reality is it cannot work with the way things are. People never change, they do grow and mature but people do not change their ways and who they are at their core.

idk im still trynna figure out my own situation and this made me cry. Reiterating what i said, there’s a difference yearning for the love once shared and missing someone you’re too afraid to let go of but you don’t really want cause then you’re actually alone.

Let her go fr n if y’all are meant it will be.

ily2 n i wish you the best, focus on u fr build ur dream life in the meantime

ARIEL WHEREEVRR U ARE U BETTER GET RIGHT N REALIZE WHAT U WANT AND WHAT YOU DESERVE. YOU ARE WORTH THE BEST!

[4ng3l-0n-34rth]

Sprite // a Tangerine x reader drabble

i luv me some tangerine😚

a/n: your code name is blondie like the band, but if you’re actually blonde then thats even better! but theres no reference to your actual hair color in the story, also this is a fem reader story because i think it works better than ungendered since you’ll be posing as a sex worker for sum rich white guy

summary: you were hired along with the twins by different employers on a mission in assassinating a political figure in the United States (no not a real one) and as the contract killers you are, the three of you accept. although unbeknownst to you, you wouldn’t be working solo like you usually do.

warnings: murder ig but did you really expect anything less? rich people doing rich people drugs n such

JUST A REMINDER MY REQUESTS ARE OPEN! i’ve posted a fandom list and my request rules, but if it doesn’t inspire me dont expect me to write it🤷‍♀️

You only knew Tangerine and Lemon by their work names, and they only knew you by yours. You were the infamous ‘Blondie’ although not because of your hair color, rather the fact you worked best with a pair of headphones in, listening to none other than Blondie.

When you got the call from your handler saying you were wanted to assassinate Derek Brown, a current candidate for the New York Senator, you were weary. That was until they mentioned just how much you would get paid. 1 Million dollars. It seems like a lot for just one person, but for the job it was just enough in your eyes. Who had this much money to hire you? You and your handler were both unsure, but the pay was delivered half before the job and half after, so you were more than satisfied.

The plan was simple. You’d attend a party full of men too rich and fat to face any consequences for their actions in an underground club in New York City, and all you had to do was get him alone, find a way to administer the poison your employer delivered with the first half of your cash, and get the hell out of there. Seemed easy enough.

You dressed in a short cocktail dress, in order to blend in with all the other girls for hire in the club. Paired with some heels and expensive looking jewelry, then you were off to the club, the poison sitting comfortably in your bra for later.

Getting into the club was a lot easier than you thought it would be. The staff entrance was completely unguarded to your surprise, so you just stepped right in.

The music blared loudly as you waltzed through the club. Servers with trays of expensive liquors and lines of cocaine, definitely not somewhere you'd want your future senator. You smiled to all the men you made eye contact with, waving to a few and trying to keep your cool while searching for your target, but before you could find him two familiar faces came into your view. You immediately groaned and walked towards them.

"Well if it isn't the Sprite twins!" They both looked at you, utterly confused. "Y'know.. Lemon and Lime, like Sprite? What? Do you prefer 7Up or something?" One of the men cleared his throat and grumbled, "It's Tangerine." You couldn't help but stifle a laugh. "Oh I'm sorry! Tangerine... That's a bit of a mouthful isn't it? I mean of all the fruits you could've picked you chose Tangerine?" He rolled his eyes, as the one you remembered to be Lemon laughed along with you, nodding in agreement. "Says you Blondie. A little boring innit?" You scoffed and mumbled a whatever. "Anyways, why the hell are you two here?" Lemon spoke up this time. "Senator candidate Brown." He stated simply, and Tangerine elbowed him in the side and furrowed his brows, "Just tell the girl the whole mission why dontcha!"

You found it funny how his mood was so terrible. "Well then i believe we have the same goal, just don't get in my fucking way and we'll be all fine and dandy!" You sent a smile and walked away, hearing Tangerine mumble an 'all fine and dandy yeah right' as you were off.

After making a few rounds through the building, you laid eyes on the target, taking two glasses off the waitstaffs tray and sitting next to him. "I couldn't help but notice you looking at me from across the room..." You grinned through your teeth, handing him one of the glasses you were holding, then using that empty hand to rub his thigh.

After that not much small talk had to follow before he was whisking you away to a private room. "Would you like a drink hun?" You asked as you walked over to a side table in the room with a few glasses and a bottle of whiskey. "That sounds lovely doll," he replied as he started to remove his coat and tie, taking a seat on a couch in the room. You poured a drink and walked over to hand it to him, but pulled it away from his grasp before he could grab it. "Ah, this is your reward dear. You gotta take that shirt off first..." you played with his collar as you spoke, then stepped away so he could unbutton it, and while he was distracted you spiked his drink.

"Good boy.." you leaned forward to kiss his neck and handed him his drink. He drank it all down in one go, and the poison started working immediately, causing him to start choking and gasping for air. "Aww poor thing can't handle his liquor," you faked a pout and laughed. "Sick bastard..." Now for your great escape, you surveyed the room to find some kind of window or door to the outside to leave through so you didn't have to sneak past the two men guarding the door from the outside.

You spotted a window across from you and ran over trying to wiggle it open, but to no avail. The damn thing was sealed shut. Unknown to you, the twins had their own plan to get to him up their sleeve.

The brothers both headed towards the stage where they had a few fog machines, replacing the liquid in them with an anesthetic, then they both threw on a gas mask and turned the machines on. How the two worked was in now way conventional, but it worked for them and that's all they needed. Soon enough the gas reached the men guarding the room you were in, and the sudden thud of them passing out alerted you.

As you looked in that direction you spotted the gas seeping through the cracks in the door. "Fuck, fuck, fuck!" you muttered and grabbed a blanket to cover your nose and mouth to wait out the gas airing out. Soon enough the twins had entered the room, and to their surprise you were sitting calmly in the room with their target unconscious. "Is he uh... dead?" Lemon asked. You just nodded, trying to minimize your breathing to the best of your ability. They both closed the door and draped blankets around the cracks of it to keep the gas out, then removed their masks. "Bloody spectacular!" Tangerine shouted angrily. "We needed the cunt alive Blondie!" he groaned. "Oh... well I didn't, so my job here's done if you'll just excuse me-" you got up to try and leave but Tangerine stopped you. "Ah, if you leave now you'll pass out before you reach the door." You huffed and held a hand out, "Then I'll be taking one of those masks please and thanks."

"No way in hell love, not until I figure out what the fuck we're gonna do about this." You whined at his response. "Oh c'mon I didn't want to fight anyone tonight, especially the both of you, so please just let me walk." The twins shared a look, then Tangerine looked back to you. "Give me your worst doll, you aren't leaving just yet." You sighed and shook your head. You took a couple seconds to think of a plan of action, then suddenly lunged at Tangerine, giving him a good punch to the gut and reaching for his mask, but you were stopped in your tracks when you heard a gun cock from behind you. "Sorry Blondie, but he's right, we can't let you go just yet.

"You can't just keep me here! My handlers going to get nervous if I don't go back to my hotel within the hour. I bet she'll send back up too then your ass is grass." Tangerine snickered at your plea, "Lemon, go handle the bouncers outside, and lock the doors. I'll keep an eye on the lady." And with a quick nod, Lemon put his gas mask back on and stepped outside, then Tangerine readjusted the blankets in the cracks of the door.

"Go sit on the couch." He ordered and you groaned. "Next to the dead guy? Yeah pass I'll take the bed." You waltz over to the bed and kick off your heels then take a seat. You considered all possible options to slip by before Lemon had a chance to get back. "You might as well come take a seat with me since I'm going to be forced to stay here for a while," you spoke calmly and looked up to him, giving a doe eyed expression and a bit of a pout. Then just like any other man you ever tried to manipulate on the job, he complied and sat next to you.

"It's quite the gruesome line of work for such a pretty face.." you spoke softly and grazed your fingertips up and down his thigh. He grabbed your wrist and pulled your hand away. "Could say the same for you." He spoke quickly, using as few words as possible to get his point across. You could tell he was struggling with you so close to him and it made your sticky situation all the better. "So Tangerine... what's the idea behind the name?" you asked and turned from having your back against the headboard to facing him. You had to admit he truly was attractive. "Well Tangerines are sophisticated, easily cross hybridized. Adaptable, like myself." You giggled at how serious his response was, not thinking he'd have such a good explanation for a fruit.

"I still think lime would suit you more, my Sprite joke was funny," you smiled, and gently tried to move your hand back up his thigh again. This time he didn't budge, allowing the contact, although he didn't respond to you. "Y'know this line of work gets lonely, why won't you talk to me? When's the last time you had a real conversation with someone that wasn't Lemon?" You saw as his jaw clenched, he seemed irritated, not because you were bothering him, but because he knew you were right, he did want to talk to you. Suddenly he untensed and let out a deep sigh.

Letting his guard down. Perfect. "Not for a long while. Other than Lemon I don't really speak to people outside my job. The job I'm currently on and trying to not get distracted from, thanks." You frowned and went from gently grazing his thigh to placing your hand down, softly brushing your thumb over it. "It's probably more lonely working solo though," he was beginning to open slowly, deciding to not see you as a threat, but an acquaintance. "It is lonely, sometimes I regret this line of work. Wish I had a normal, boring, actionless life." You both progressively moved closer as you continued to chat.

It was hard to find someone going through the same thing you were since it was rare to meet people who would even begin to understand living your life as a weapon, but he did because he was the same. Tangerine was comfortable, but internally cursing his brother for taking so long and leaving him to keep his cool with you. Same as you, he couldn't deny your charm.

You suddenly leaned in all the way kissing the man in front of you, a hand on his cheek and the other slowly inching up his thigh. You could tell he was shocked by the delay in kissing you back, but something in him couldn't push you away. Both of his hands reached up to your waist, one staying there and the other making its way up your back. The kiss was over as soon as it started, with you reaching you hand on his thigh up into his waistband, pulling his own gun on him.

"I'm really sorry about this, I did enjoy our little chat." He was completely and utterly shocked. He was mad at himself for letting his guard down, but more upset that you tried to get close to him to catch him off guard. “Give me your phone.” you ordered and he looked at you dumbfounded. “I said give me your phone!” and he shuffled through his pockets and pulled it out. “Put in your password.” and he complied then handed it to you.

You opened his messages and put in your phone number, sending yourself a text, then tossed it on the bed. Tangerine tried to reach for it back, but you stopped him. “Sorry hun but I cant let you move.” you grabbed your shoes off the floor, not letting the man leave your sight, then leaned over and gave him a peck on the cheek, grabbed his mask, and put it on before backing out the door.

As you stepped out, you were met by Lemon. “Move a single muscle and I’ll blow your brains out.” you held the gun to the side of his head, and he froze. “Good.. now you’re going to let me go, and don’t worry about your brother he’s perfectly fine, just pussy whipped.” you gave a small chuckle and ran out the door to your car making your escape.

Once Tangerine could grab his phone he opened it to see a contact name, ‘Blondie😉’ and a message you sent to yourself.

“xoxo😚”

[honeydew-mel0n]

Plz oh great author. I would just like... some dadV content. Just like. V and a child reader. Plz.

This probably isnt what you expected but, here's V being an adopted dad for a 5 year old reader in the ruins of Redgrave. It's not good, but its work. Ig

V x Child! Reader

Dad!V in the rubble of Redgrave.

You hide under the remnants of your bed. The ripped mattress and splintered frame providing little shelter from the horrors that lie beyond your eyelids. You weren't asleep, but still subscribed to the belief that the monsters couldn't get you if they thought you were asleep.

The sound of footsteps approaching lit a flame of hope in your heart, only for it to crash down the moment you heard the monsters come again.

It was so loud, crashing, screaming... were they fighting? If it was battle it ended quickly. And whatever entered your room won. You let out a soft whimper, curling into yourself. The foot steps approach the mess you called a bed. The sound of the mattress being pulled slightly made you burst into tears.

"Well, what do we have here?"

You open your tear filled eyes to see an adult, his black hair and dark clothes. "Mommy left me again- Are the monsters gone!?" His face was almost devoid of emotion. "Yes." "Are you sure?" At first. A smile smile splits his face as he offers you a tattoted hand. "Positive, little one."

_

We've seen before that he could care less about children at first glance, but the mentioning your mother leaving you caused him to instantly attach to you.

Alone, afraid, but this time, no way to protect yourself.

Deep down something inside of him told him that he needs to protect you. To take the job that your obviously useless mother could not handle.

You latch onto him quickly as well, your new protector. You think he's so cool, with his weird clothes, tattoos, and the funny things he says.

The second night he had you, you fell asleep pressed up against him as read a loud.

_

"When we see not thro the eye. Which was born in a night to perish in a night. When the soul slept in beams of light..."

He stops, green eyes boring down at your sleeping form. Your little hand wrapped over the edge of the corset under his coat. A small smile splits his face. Dispite all you had gone through, you still held peace. You would smile up at him after minutes of tucking your head into his side to hide your eyes from the gore that went on in front of you.

Your resilience is unyielding, and he cant help but admire that. It can make him forget that you are just a child. But now, layed out against his heart, he can see your vulnerability more then ever. You were so talkative, so kind, so soft, so... so... human. So very human. Just as he is now.

_

After some time with him, you'll be able to recite whole poems. And god he's never been more proud.

Technically, he's homeless, so finding somewhere safe for you to sleep is his first priority.

You never sleep alone. Never. Either he or one of his familiars is with you.

Scratch that, you are never alone.

He wasnt surprised by Shadow's fondness of you, but was by Griffon's.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah pip squeak, just don't pull on my feathers anymore."

V is easily annoyed, especially by people who talk too much. Unless it's you.

He can sit and listen to you chatter on in excessive detail about the random things you know.

Maybe that's why you and Griffon can get along. It's a constant back and forth of random facts and jokes that go right over your head.

You just like that he talks to you, he likes that he can make any joke and you won't get upset or offended.

V however, hates that he does this.

Seeing as how V tries his best to shield you from the world. You've already suffered so much.

He takes on the task of "dad" rather quickly.

_

You close your eyes tight as he pours the water from his cupped hands over your hair. V hums softly as he scrubs the filth from your skin. It was rather uncomfortable, taking a bath in a fountain, but it wasn't as uncomfortable as caked on dirt and splatters of demon blood. "We're almost done, I promise."

As soon as he found you to be clean enough he takes off his long leather jacket, dispite it just getting dry, he pulls you out and wraps it around you. He lays out your now dry and somewhat clean clothes and let's you try to dress yourself. Shadow letting you lean on her as you tug your clothes back on.

The warmth from fire used to cook the demon meat is enough to make you feel sleepy, if the exhausting day wasnt enough. You leaned against V's side, curling into him. His arm coming around you, assuring you that you're safe.

_

He accepts that he's pretty much your father very quickly.

But it hurts him. He knows what he has to do, and when that happens, what will happen to you? Who could he possibly trust to care for you?

He takes you everywhere, and doesn't let anything touch you.

It's truly Infuriating to him that he doesn't have the strength to carry you. Of course you ride on shadow, but when they handle demons you are left to mercy of the world.

The two of you being attached at the hip leads to a lot of confusion.

Mostly from Nero

"Why the hell do you have a kid???"

When he finally gets to settle down in Nico's van, you get to lay down for a nap.

And he leaves again, he leaves you to sleep. It was safe and he knew you would be fine there, and you definitely needed to sleep.

Nico, surprisingly, didnt mind you.

The entire time he was so nervous. It's been weeks, and this is the first time you haven't been with him.

When V eventually returns, he finds you chatting Nero's ear off. He didn't seem to mind though, he sat quietly with a smile as you talked.

It hit him then.

You could be safe without him.

_

He watched you fiddle with the metal fingers on Nero's devil breaker as you spoke. The young man making the fingers move, to your delight. Your eyes glowed and you looked up at Nero, he nods to what you're saying with a wide smile.

All of the worries in V's head melt away, but are soon replaced with a feeling of melancholy. You would be fine, you would be safe. Without him. He steps in, your head snaps to him, joy spreading on your features as soon at you realize. You run up to him, hugging his leg tightly.

It wasnt long until he has to leave again, and he knew it was the last time he would see you. And somehow, you knew something was wrong. Your small hands rest on his cheeks, sadness written on your entire being. He pulls you close, whispering to you softly. "I will see you again my little one. I will see you again."

Tiny arms hold tight around his neck, warm, wet tears slip down and fall onto his skin. "Are you sure?" "Positive, little one." You hold on tight to him, even after he lets go. Theres a soft whisper, bairly audible. "I love you, daddy." Then, you let go.

Getting to wave him off while holding onto Nico's leg.

_

He knew he wouldnt see you again, either he dies, or becomes one again. The likelihood of seeing you again with both of those options is little to none.

But he feels peace, you'd be safe. You are safe.

He gets weaker and weaker.

He's been close to it before, but this must be what dieing feels like.

Before reuniting with his other half, he still tries to make sure that you will be okay.

His crumbling body is leaning on Nero, hobbling to the end of his life.

"The child... If you survive, take care of them."

[lesbinewren]

hey friend, i've been following your blog for a while now and i absolutely think you should go on a rant about modern sw canon being homophobic! i agree with you and i'd love to hear your points (especially re: anything having to do with tarkin, as im not as familiar with that) (:

ill try to not turn this into like a full six page essay lmao

so basically there are at this point a fair amount of gay/bi characters in sw canon atm... just none appearing on-screen (or at least not being explicitly gay on-screen) except for those two women that kissed for like half a second in tros. so thats point one i guess- all but completely restricting even acknowledgements of gayness to books/comics that dont get nearly as much recognition as the screen media does. 

point two is that theres a pattern of the main characters they choose to make explicitly gay as being... considerably less moral than others sometimes. and im not saying that every single gay character needs to be completely flawless with the sun shining out of their ass at all times, but why cant we get more lead, unquestionably heroic characters to be confirmed gay or bi? we have gay villains (tarkin being sorta confirmed gay in facpov, moff mors who deserves an entire post of her own), and then characters that are more like anti-heroes, or at least heros with darker pasts/tendencies (aphra, sinjir, arguably characters like sana, chass and yrica but those three to a much lesser degree). 

and i dont... dislike those characters. i actually LOVE aphra, shes probably one of my faves, and i loved sinjir and conder in aftermath. i dont really have any problems with their stories at all, it’s just that they’re part of a pattern of characters with sometimes questionable morality (aphra working with vader and happily siccing her droids to torture and murder people etc & sinjir being a torturer for the empire who then joins the rebellion and tortures sometimes for that cause too). like again, my problem isnt that gay characters arent paragons of virtue, its that most characters they happen to make gay also happen to be the morally gray ones. im not really asking for less dubiously good cay characters, just also more solidly heroic gay characters to balance it a bit. 

and they are getting better, there are more solidly heroic main gay characters... its just for every wyl lark or kaedan larte you have a gay imperial officer and an offhandedly mentioned dead pair of husbands. and i also dont think id mind as much if there wasnt a history in film especially where even implying gayness was prohibited unless it was condemned or shown to be immoral. i dont think its intentional, but its hard not to get that vibe when they make their biggest canon lesbian character blow up cute tooka cats for fun lmao (as much as i adore aphra)

and my third and probably final point for now is the deliberate vagueness of things, and the way that they sometimes confirm characters. i think they’re especially egregious about this with bi/pan characters. i dont have the direct quote, but when confirming lando to be lgbt during solo promotion, they essentially said he’s pan because he... has sex with droids and aliens? no mention of you know... being a man attracted to other men, that might be too controversial ig. also i think it was donald glover who specifically said something like “how couldn’t you be pansexual in space, there’s so many things to have sex with” as if thats what being bi/pan is which just... yeah.

and then also in the leia book (a book i really like), the “confirmation” of holdo being bi is when leia says something about sticking to “humanoid males” and holdo tells her “thats limiting” or whatever which a) its a personal pet peeve of mine as a lesbian when people say things like that, even tho its said to a straight person, its just insulting and acts like sexuality is a choice and bi/pan people are more enlightened by choosing not to “limit themselves” and b) in context they’re talking about a like... bug alien or something like that, its been a minute since i read the book but it wasnt just like a humanoid alien woman or anything. so again... being just vague enough to get woke points for your character being lgbt without actually having them express same gender attraction AND equating being bi to just being willing to screw whatever i guess.

and for the record i dont think that this all means star wars is being unforgivably homophobic. i DO think characters like aphra, sinjir and others are good representation, i just dont want characters like that to be our only representation, because thats when things start to get more questionable for me. but like, i think its AWESOME that aphra has her own comic line and audiobook where she’s very explicitly gay, and the fact that she’s probably the most popular modern star wars comic-originated character while being a lesbian seriously makes me happier than i know how to express. i think the fact that the alphabet squadron trilogy made two of its female leads explicitly bi and one of their male leads end up in a relationship with another man is amazing. i love sinjir and conder’s romance being a primary feature of the aftermath trilogy. i think its incredible cool of them to have the bravery to make an iconic character from the original trilogy pan, even if im not a huge fan of the phrasing they used (and would like them to be more explicit about it in future content). like, i dont want to be all negative because i think there is a lot of good rep there. i just know it can be better, and being allowed to criticize it makes me feel better about it, and hopefully will start more conversations that lead to them being more mindful in the future. 

[haemosexuality]

little nightmares/mostly six headcannons part 2

-the ln2 twitter said once something like "the only thing preventing kids from becoming monsters is their childhood innocence". between becoming separated from part of/her soul, becoming a cannibal, and getting evil soul sucking powers, six pretty much lost that, so i think after escaping the maw she does turn into a monster. no happy ending ending for any of them ig :(. i dont't believe the "six is The Lady" theory tho, and i dont think shed magically grow into the signal towers version of monster six either, but over the years her body would certainly change into something like the other monsters of ln

-soul sucking powers means shadow six gets like absorved back into six, so she doesnt need to be a cannibal anymore, nor experiences the hunger pains, but the only thing that really feeds her are souls

-i think the time loop is less "going back in time and redoing all theyve done before" and more like a circle? idk how to explain. it all just happened once, like a circle is only one circle, it just keeps. rotating. idk. and they dont have any memories of it either, theyre not reliving it over and over

-six did use to help other kids out, like rcg, even if she was a "survival above all else, its better to be alone, id rather be lost and lonely cause friends arent meant to last" type of person. the reason she didnt help any of the kids in the maw tho was bc that changed after mono

-mono is the mom friend. also he has a fanny pack. 

-ln2 twitter account also implied that becoming the thin man was monos Destiny, snd theres nothing much they can do to stop that. again, i dont believe six Is the lady, but i do believe she was destined to kill the lady/absorve her powers, and become her own sort of monster after that

-time is not really real inside the signal tower. thats why the thin man and mono can exist at the same time. it also means that theres not really a way for us to understand how long six was there and how long the thin man was sitting in that chair. it was forever but also not 

-they didnt know each other for long enough to create that kind of bond, and between the poor socialization and lack of family its not a concept theyre familiar with, but if they were to live together long enough or in an normal world au, six and mono would be like siblings

[ranaiki]

and then there was one

Okay so I once had this thought that completely, absolutely shattered my heart. And, like the amazing person I am, I’m going to be putting it into words and sharing my heartbreak with you all. I don’t want to give too much away here, but it has to do with the bond shared between twins :) (no, it is not twincest)

Characters: Miya Atsumu, Miya Osamu, Kita Shinsuke, Suna Rintarou, Hinata Shouyo, Aran Ojiro (some smatterings of Atsukita and Osasuna).

Warnings/Tags: angst. Just angst. Fluff if you squint? Swearing, death. Only a little bit of plot. Throwing up mentioned at one point. Post-timeskip spoilers ig?

A/N at end <3

⠀

⠀

Atsumu and Osamu Miya have always had an inexplicable connection.

Some shred of the universe decided that they would be borne of the same flesh and blood, that everything they had would be shared with one another - from their lives and experiences, all the way down to their face.

And maybe it’s silly, to think that anything other than coincidence made them brothers, twins, but the way they so perfectly melded together, two halves of the same whole, was far too special to have been left up to chance.

Well, maybe it wasn't always perfect. In fact, it was less than. But within imperfections lies the completeness many chase in life, the very same that the Miyas were fortunate enough to be born with already in their possesion.

As babies, Atsumu and Osamu would cry when separated, and never quell until their twin was once again in their presence. From the very beginning they had been pressed up against one another in an uncomfortable proximity, yet it was this that provided the most ease. In a brand new, scary, and cold world much different from the one they had grown in, they were each others pillars - the sources of comfort and familiarity that could only be found with one another and was necessary for their trudge through life.

Even as they aged, the fact remained that they were each others constant. Even as they grew and sprouted into wholly different beings with different hearts and passions, they still stuck to each others’ sides

The Miya twins.

When one fell, the other was there to pick them back up again.

When one strayed too far, the other was there to drag them back and set them straight.

When one changed and grew, the other was changing and growing right alongside them.

Even when they grated on each others nerves, when they bickered and brawled, when they fought so bad they swore they would never again talk to each other, they never left. They’d always quietly return with unspoken apologies perfectly understood, and everything was right.

They were two sides of the same coin, after all.

⠀

As adults, Osamu and Atsumu had parted physically, but were always still together. Osamu opened an Onigiri shop in Hyogo, while Atsumu had moved to the professional leagues of volleyball, and was based in Osaka. They shared calls often, visits occasionally, but even if they went weeks or months without talking, they always knew they’d see each other again.

There was no doubt in their minds. They knew that even while chasing their own dreams, their twin was right there with them. Atsumu knew that Osamu was sitting in front of a tv during each of the games he couldn't attend physically, watching and cheering for him. Osamu knew that in Osaka, Atsumu was bragging to his friends about Onigiri Miya and Osamu’s cooking skills, claiming that the next time they went to Hyogo they all needed to visit his brothers shop and get food there so everyone can taste for themselves Osamu’s wonderful cooking.

And when Atsumu stood on a platform in front of a small crowd of friends and family, vowing to love and cherish his now husband, Kita Shinsuke, Osamu was right there with a smile on his face and pride in his heart.

Even when Osamu and Suna’s little family expanded from two to three, Atsumu was there, greeting his niece and helping look after her while the new parents finally got some sleep.

It was the kind of love and bond that couldn't be forged, that couldn’t be recreated by people who met at some point along the paths in their lives. The connection Atsumu and Osamu shared was created when they were, was born with them, and has stuck ever since.

⠀

Atsumu stretched languidly with his teammates in their training gym in Osaka.

The golden haired setter had his phone at his side, fidgeting slightly as he leaned over his spread legs. He woke this morning in a state of discomfort. He couldn’t figure out where the sense of unease had come from. There was a nagging feeling at the back of his head, one he couldn’t shake, and one that was getting stronger the more time passed.

“Astumu-san?” Hinata’s voice roused him from his thoughts, and he realized he’d been staring intently at the floor in front of him.

“Hm, Shouyo-kun?”

“You’ve been staring at the ground for a while now, is everything all right?” He was gazing at the setter with those wide, brown eyes. Frightening yet childlike all at the same time.

Atsumu offered one of his dazzling smiles, nodding reassuringly. “Jus lost in thought.” He explained, reaching over to ruffle the orange tufts of hair springing from the smaller man’s head. This earned an indignant squeak as Hinata ducked, shrinking into his track jacket in the process.

Atsumu chuckled softly, glancing around.

Something just didn’t feel right.

He shook off the nagging as best as he could, continuing with his stretching.

Practice was grueling. Those uneasy feelings hadn’t left him, and he couldn’t focus on anything, watching apathetically as he failed set after set and serve after serve. His teammates had backed away from him a long time ago, afraid of his carelessness and lack of intensity. He hardly even noticed what he was doing, completely drowned in his mind.

Worry was beginning to take root, worming through him. Was something wrong with Kita? No, he had seen him only an hour ago. His parents, maybe? He didn’t think so. They were old, but they were in good health. So, who?

Osamu.

As soon as the thought passed through his head, cold dread sunk its claws into him, and he could feel his gut twisting.

No, he’d visited Osamu and his daughter just a week ago, and they were both fine. He’d facetimed his brother a few days ago too while he was at Onigiri Miya, and he was in perfect health even then.

He moved suddenly, leaving the court without a word and disappearing into the hallways of the gym complex, ignoring the shouts of his name echoing behind him.

He pulled out his phone and dialed Suna, the need to quell his fears overpowering.

“Atsumu?” The voice on the other end sounded startled to hear him, and if it weren’t for his frantic state, he would’ve heard the way Suna’s voice cracked when he spoke, and sounded disoriented.

“Suna!” Atsumu chirped, breathing a sigh of relief. “I keep feelin’ like theres somethin’ wrong, wheres ‘Samu?”

Silence.

He thought maybe their phones had lost connection - the gym didn’t have the best cell reception - but a soft, broken sob and background voices reached his ears before he had the chance to check.

“Oh fuck, is that Atsumu?” The voice was muffled and distant, but he could still hear it.

Suna had broken into full on, anguished cries now, his wails filling the phone. Atsumu was frozen, numbness beginning to spread over his body, his eyes wide and mouth gaping.

“I’m sorry.” Suna sobbed, “I-I can’t-”

There was a loud clattering sound, murmuring.

Someone else was on the phone now.

Atsumu was standing in place, silent, frozen, still.

“Atsumu?” It was Aran. He had this tone of voice as he said his name, one filled with finality, somberness. Atsumu’s stomach lurched.

Aran’s words were lost to Atsumu, blabbering nonsense as his vision clouded. Two words broke through: Osamu and...

dead.

Emptiness.

That was all he felt. The world around him crumbled, and he was left standing in nothing. His head was blank, hands trembling. He was filled with nothingness, but it was the most painful nothingness he had ever experienced.

Pain seared through him, filling in the parts that were suddenly no longer whole, the parts that had been left empty as soon as those words of finality were uttered. It was comparable to multiple heart attacks all at once, and it had Atsumu collapsing on the ground as his brain tried to catch up.

“What?” His voice was a feeble whisper, a wobble to it as everything began to process.

“I’m so sorry Atsumu.” Aran said, and it sounded like he was tearing up. “The wound was deep, and he was found too late. He’s gone. The-”

Atsumu didn’t hear the rest.

The phone in his hand clattered to the floor beneath him as he sat there, staring blankly at the entryway just ahead.

That emptiness spread through him like a cold fire. He felt incomplete, raw. Tears dripped from his eyes, warm and salty, that he hadn’t even realized had formed. He was dead silent, not a peep coming from him as his lips trembled and bile rose in his throat.

And suddenly, he was hunching over, emptying the contents of his stomach onto the polished concrete, heaves wracking through him.

He threw up until there was nothing but stomach acid left. And as he finished, hunched over a mess with his arms clutching his abdomen for dear life, he finally made a sound.

A raw, agonized scream. It ripped his already searing throat. It was broken. Nothing was more heart wrenching than the wailing sobs that tore through Atsumu’s body, the dizzying pain of his loss flooding his senses as he hunched over further, once again throwing up on the concrete below between bubbling cries.

He vaguely registered his husband rushing in; he didn’t even wonder how he had gotten there. He hardly noticed when Kita’s strong arms wrapped around his trembling frame, pulling him away from the mess. He didn’t hear it when his former captain was crying softly, whispering reassurances, trying to calm him down. Because the pain he felt? It was too much. And the black hole Osamu’s death had left inside of him was threatening to swallow him whole. So he went limp, letting the tears and sickness and sobs run through him without restraint.

Osamu was gone.

His best friend, his confidant, his brother. The person who had been there his whole life. His pillar of support and voice of reason before anyone else, the one who supported him no matter what.

The only one he could truly rely on, who he knew would always be there.

Was gone.

And nothing hurt more than knowing he was no longer whole, that he was now no more than a flattened, one sided coin.

Nothing was worse than the way he knew. He knew Osamu was dead before he was told. He could feel it. He hadn’t realized it, but he could feel him slip away, he could pinpoint the exact moment when Osamu had passed. 

And it hurt.

Osamu was gone.

Osamu was dead.

And he never even got to say goodbye.

⠀

⠀

A/N: so... hope ya liked it. This is actually my first fic now, technically. Uhhh.... its not the best? I feel like I didn’t express the pain in the way I wanted to - I’ve always been an emotions bottler so in all honesty, I don’t know what its like to let it out like Atsumu does here. I wanted to briefly explain my thoughts and like, the og one this drabble is based off of. Pretty much, I was thinking one day how if Osamu or Atsumu were to die prematurely, or in a gruesome way, the other twin would be able to feel it because theres this like, link between twins thats sometimes discussed and isn’t shared between normal siblings or other pairings. Its specifically a twin thing. So like, just imagine - Atsumu or Osamu are minding their own business and all the sudden they just feel wrong. And they know, they know subconsciously that their twin just died, but they haven't realized, but once they learn? Oh god the pain.... yeah sooo anyways! Hope y’all had a good time reading bc it certainly broke my heart to write haha.

[stuffandsundry]

Tagged by @obstinaterixatrix​

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line. Then tag 10 of your favorite authors! 

WAHA! ok no tags bc i dont know anyone! and also if i post my toku fics ill die maybe so only my main ig! actually i find it very funny that by the nature of the way i write 20% of this is just Extremely Rare Fandom Tag and a solid 50% is things i wrote while thinking of jem huh

Kim, Selena. “Yoo Joonghyuk: The Return(?) of the King.” W*red, 2020.   \\   Disclaimer: W*red Magazine would like to clarify that the title of this article had been a good faith attempt to reference the penultimate film in the influential Lord of the Rings series, and was not intended to be clickbait. We sincerely apologize for any misunderstandings. 

like hope turned inside out    \\    Kor smiles at the scene of Inez's reconciliation with Silver.

your ghosts know why you still live   \\   Kor's being haunted.

sing back at a bird   \\   "All right, let's wrap it up early today. Good practice, everyone!" Momoe claps her hands together.

Diving Cormorant   \\   "Hey." Hisui walks down the beach, sand crunching under the soles of his boots, to where Kunzite is sitting. "Got a moment?"

sick of dreaming   \\   It is ass o’clock in the morning, and Hisui is wide awake for the stupidest fucking reason.

lies told to children   \\   I finally realized that my husband had long since stopped loving the me that was a human being.

out of character   \\   “You know,” Kim Dokja says, with a sarcastic edge that means he's a little annoyed, “You don’t have to come with me.”

the meaning of the constellation in your eyes   \\   Deep in the recesses of Yoo Joonghyuk's memory, under the detritus of hundreds of lives and thousands of years, there is this image:

to trace the shape of an imperfect god   \\   The Demon King of Salvation doesn’t know how to control his strength, Yoo Joonghyuk thinks contemptuously.

cicada dreams.   \\   Here is something that Yoo Joonghyuk has figured out, over his hundreds of deaths and millennia of bloodshed:

Creator of Fate   \\   Ah,  Yin Wei sighs internally,  I really don’t like transmigrating into modern worlds with this sort of drama after all.

in sickness and in health   \\   “Sick?” Yoo Joonghyuk frowns at the woman running the Industrial Complex in Kim Dokja’s stead.

family, found   \\   “Hey!” Kim Namwoon kicks the door open, hands in his pockets.

conversation in a lull in the war   \\   "Ugh," Han Sooyoung complains. "I wish the next regional conflict would open up already."

Incomplete Record of the Third Revision   \\   Yoo Joonghyuk starts his fourth regression in a sickeningly familiar subway car.

write me a world unruined   \\   Lee Jihye wakes up.

Basic Marine Biology for the Curious Regressor   \\   “You stupid sunfish,” Kim Dokja sighs as he leans back into Yoo Joonhyuk’s arms.

proper and sensible   \\   The young messenger sent to fetch Miss Wilhelmina Laurence before the admiral sweeps a judgmental eye up and down her person, and he blinks.

from the mouths of babes   \\   Six months after Lu Li is appointed Deputy Commissioner, Chi Zhen returns home.

 wow theres more than 20 fics here. maybe i AM a writer

[dykeceit]

janus' playlist not-really-analysis just me screaming

so first of all this whole playlist absolutely SLAPS, its the first side playlist that's just my taste and it doesnt surprise me that it's janus' bc of course it is i am absolutely 100% more attracted to him now somehow,

im absolutely not okay and this isn't gonna be articulate in any way but i. have to.

1. black hole sun

???hes sad?? apparently its about depression with some sexy snake metaphors....maybe hes just sad in general or he misses virgil. also postmodern jukebox hell yeah

2. it seemed the better way

this feels like it could be about patton or like thinking one thing and then realizing its not true ig could be that w society in general or people...him developing his trust issues possibly "i better hold my tongue, i better take my place" or like oh the other sides hate me ig ill be a villain then...

3. anywhere

janus sanders says fuck capitalism!

4. talking at the same time

eat the rich,,,virgil left me:(

5. all the good girls go to hell

he's needed and the others are starting to realize it. hes quite smug abt it "my turn to ignore ya, don't say i didn't warn ya" damn right boy

6. denial

he blasted this song after svs while crying "please don't turn the light out, i don't think the conversation's over" he had to wait almost a year but he finally got to continue that conversation,, "i know where you'd wanna go, oh i do, but do you?"

7. trust in me

i mean yeah sexxy snake moment right here

8. razzle dazzle

so obviously its just his aesthetic tm but the lyrics...are the jabs at roman or himself, perhaps both? i never took him to be very insecure but that's a possibility

9. when the chips are down

basically his speech about society in svs and how he doesn't want thomas to be disadvantaged in it

10. mandy goes to med school

uhhh yeah who knows there's a bit of a i know what im doing jk vibe going on and Doing Harm but the thing itself is necessary to Have yknow right to abortions its just theyre not legal so hes doing them illegally and apparently two ppl died from them so not great,,"my partner brian" at the end made me think of remus tbh "hes a nice man, thoroughly reliable, he's in a rock band" kinda gives off the vibe of eh yeah hes totally reliable lmao dw tho, so basically what im taking from this is dukeceit is canon thanks for coming to my ted talk

11. i put a spell on you

i mean its definetely his Vibes but idk if its @ anyone specifically...could be virgil, could be roman, maybe thomas himself...its a vengeful kinda song, hes like fuck you you're listening to me now im done you treating me like shit

12. evil night together

so aside from this being an extremely hot song its def dukeceit vibes as in they'd both like it but the hero part as others have pointed out is giving out major roceit vibes and thomas and co know this those bastards

13. cabaret: don't tell mama

im assuming this is more of a..this is what he likes to listen to plus its about secrecy which is his thing but i guess "mama" could be someone in particular as well, and/or he could be singing it to someone in particular...

14. you're a cad

bruh. first of i loved this song already secondly iM SORRY THOMAS WHAT ARE YOY IMPLYING HERE like first i was like this isn't abt Him right that wouldn't make sense so is it about...virgil...well ofc it is bruh what the fuck bro....im loving this bc its casting virgil in an unsympathetic light and i love that shit but also its revealing janus still Feels quite a lot for him and idk how to feel abt this i. the part of me that still loves anxceit is screaming and the part of me that hates virgil is also screaming they haven't stopped for a minute-

15. as far as i can see

so dukeceit vibes possibly virgil reference since he "went down the staircase" to his spot,,so basically he and remus maybe virgil and orange too like pushing ppl down the stairs bc they feel unheard

16. criminal

this is where the angst train rly starts choo choo....so. who is he singing about here. my god i want it to be roman so bad but it Could be virgil...which would imply he thinks he's wronged him somehow which would mean virgil has a more valid reason to dislike him and I Don't Like That. but whoever hes singing about is clearly important to him... "he's all i knew of love" bro....that's just screaming virgil right i dont like it op...basically he feels guilty for smth and to be "redeemed". he clearly doesn't need redemption from his canon actions so far, and he hasn't acted like he regrets any of them, which is making me think its abt smth in his past buut maybe he does feel bad for manipulating roman now bc he realized how hurt roman was and thats what i wanna believe it's about ok roceit rights except roman youre a bitch apologise

17. change

this made me fucking lose it bro im still losing it ive lost it. he's not okay and neither am i....bro i didnt think he'd be so....insecure but....i mean all of them seem to be so...but yeah this song is very,,,i have trust issues and im learning to love again vibes and i am crying while my wig is being ripped cruelly from my head....i choose to interpret this as less like ive been bad uwu i can change and be good now and more as ive been too afraid to care bc im so aware of the harm it can do to me but i realized its worth it so im trying now....and i think that's beautiful

18. devil in the details

hes telling thomas to Just Do It. he "made amends in the general sense" but "the devil's in the details" and he "knows the cause" and "wants to stop" but he "just can't do it". this seems kinda like more virgil angsty times for me or maybe the cause is just him being...him and just being well i cant stop being my function so...but he sees it as The Reason theres still animosity even if hes "made amends".

19. come little children

first i was like bruh its a bop but y is it here. but the lyrics are basically repeating how horrible the world is, "murdering beauty and passion", and the singer doesnt have to be killing or kidnapping the kids maybe its just a friendly fae helping some abused kids yknow you never know...basically fae!janus confirmed i know you have connections with them thomas i know you do

20. into the unknown

i like that this is short it kinda feels like hes coming to say okay im done bye after this whole musical that is his playlist. i am ashamed to say im not familiar w the plot of over the garden wall but someone said smth abt killing kids. well yknow how it is sometimes...but yeah very sexy, very fae, i will stan forever etc.

[floorbed]

4 8 15 16 23 for pen and agni ☺️

THANKS BEE <3 guy time..

4) would your character sing along to a vaguely familiar song, even if they messed up the lyrics as they went?

pen 100% would and wld be Confident he knows all the lyrics even when he fucks up. agni is really really bad at lyrics but she will sing along with the melody without making word sounds . a mouth open humming moment

8) are their hands steady?

pen usually is really antsy hes always gotta be moving around or doing something so not steady hands for that bc hes gotta keep busy! but when hes taking care of people like post alba time looking after klem and all that his hands get really still >:) similarly agni has tremor moments bc brain danage projection character but it happens a lot less when shes working n focusing on her special interest moments

15) what’s a sound they can’t stand?

not a sound ig pen hates silence a lot makes him scared and psychosis gets worse n all that but he has bells all over him so when things are too quiet he just walks around n jingles! but it wld be bad like when he was in his pajamas as a kid and trying to go to sleep and his room was all quiet yfm. thats why he likes sleeping next to ppl n stuff he hardly slept alone growing up! theres a lot of sounds that fuck with agni, she cant deal with anything too loud esp ppls voices! high pitched ringing n footsteps esp loud footsteps like stomping also fucks w her

16) would they draw patterns in frosted windows/fogged up mirrors? what would they draw?

pen wld draw hearts or little stick figures of him n his friends. agni wld draw spirals or just kinda move her finger around the window in a random pattern just bc fog texture good

23) do they wrap their arms around their stomach when it hurts?

yes pen is silly and dramatic. and agni wouldnt bc shes bad at recognizing where exactly pain is coming from like if she had a stomachache it would just be like Generalized Bad Feeling

[collisiondiscourse]

YOUR NEW ART PIECE IS MWAH. CHEFS KISS

Also for the question: do you have a specific method for choosing your colors?? I’m rlly bad at picking colors that work well with one another 😔

!!! HI AUSSIE MWAH I LOVE U N KISSA U ON THE CHEEK

i dont really have a specific method per se on choosing my colors? except i tend to stay on the warmer parts of the color spectrum!! i use a LOT of subtle gradients and overlay layers on all of my art, and i tend to stick to complementary colors for lighting!! (specifically yellow and purple)

now, just a reminder that i am FULLY self-taught with the exception of some online tutorial videos, so take my words with a grain of salt since im not a professional :D coloring guide under the cut !

the thing with coloring things digitally is that you rarely ever actually stick with the colors you first put down! its important to keep note that the best thing about digital coloring is that nothing is ever uneditable and you can always adjust the hue, saturation, and brightness of any layer. (for reference, i use FireAlpaca to do art :3 )

now, if youre familiar with my art, my drawings tend to be on the more vibrant colored side! i like colorful and light looking drawings for the most part and all my lighting/shading tends to be either very soft or colored.

one thing i almost NEVER do is shade with direct black.

Now, why is this so? Black is the color of shadows in real life anyway, and its much easier to just shade everything with black and fiddle with the opacity! by all means, black as shading makes the most logical sense.

But the reason i don’t shade things in black or even just move the color of the flat towards the darker end of the spectrum is because the tendency of the shading is that it ends up looking very... dirty. and grimy. and i dont really like that/have the ability to pull it off. so what i do is i use color theory (or, well, a butchered version of it.)

now, before we get into that--on the point of black shading looking grimy & dirty, im certain that there are some styles that can pull it off (like julia lepetit, a drawfee host and a content creator i absolutely adore!). but it really all depends on what kind of mood you want your drawing to evoke. If youre like me and use coloring to express the emotions of a piece and like very eye catching coloring methods, then its important to know that RGB SUCKS.

(For me at least.)

using rgb as your coloring reference tends to create a lot darker or muddier pieces which can be nice depending on your target/intention, but for the most part is terribly annoying. The solution to this (again, which works for me but not everyone) is that i choose to color with CMYK aka Cyan, Magenta, Yellow, Black. THIS is the color model i work with when coloring my flats.

Now theres a whole explanation for why CMYK and RGB are different and why CMYK appears better digitally and for printing things, but im a stem student and im tired as hell of hearing about waves and optics so yall can google that if youd like.

But basically! Yes. I use CMYK in most circumstances to make sense of coloring. Going further from there however, the way i choose what colors to shade/highlight with has everything to do with contrast and color theory. The common understanding i have is that yellow tends to be more adjacent to light while purple is closer to shadows.

NOW.

the basic system i have for coloring goes like this:

if the flats are warm, the shading and the highlighting is cooler. if the flats are cool, the shading and the highlighting is warmer.

for example: (flat color - shading - highlighting)

orange/skin tone - purple - yellow

green - blue - pink

yellow - orange - light blue

THEN i go a little more complex with midtones and what not in order to blend colors!! like with skin for example, i shade it with purple and ease the transition with red midtones. sometimes for fun i add some (subtle) cooler shades for a more painter-like effect.

Colors tend to reflect off of one another too, so i add soft gradients and airbrush very subtle colors unto different components. When im drawing a person for example, i airbrush some of the skintone very lightly unto the hair that frames the face to bring the piece together a little bit more!!

for final touches, i add things like yellow to purple gradients, the side of the light source being where the yellow begins. I also love fiddling with layer settings and setting things to overlay etc. because it unites all the colors a little bit more. I try to also adjust the colored layers to have less contrast between them so that its less of a rainbow eyesore lol

hope this answers a lot of questions!! if anyone wants a more detailed explanation ig, you can always hit up my kofi ;)