#and so much of it was hbo ahaha

[docholligay]

Man remember when HBO was good? Wild times.

[malarkgirlypop]

MEDIC! Part 22 (Donald Malarkey x Fem!OC)

So one minuet I'm cackling laughing and then the next I'm blubbing like a baby. Giving myself whiplash over here! Just to be warned, I barely re-read this cause I want to get it out. So if something doesn't make sense, whoops, I will do a proof read later, I'll fix it ahaha. OMG yeah no this chapter is all over the place, my bad!

Based on the HBO show and the actors who portray the characters, no hate to anyone involved.

Tag list: @next-autopsy, @panzershrike-pretz, @xxluckystrike, @bucky32557038ww2 (let me know if you want to be tagged.)

I tossed and turned, my brain in overdrive, wouldn’t let me go to sleep. The soft snores of the men filled the room. They all instantly fell asleep as soon as they laid their head on the pillow. I was jealous, my body was exhausted but my mind was wide awake. I kept replaying the fight I had with Don. Then how he was in the kitchen. Like he wasn’t upset by it, maybe he wasn’t. I rolled over trying to get comfortable but nothing worked. I reached down grabbing my canteen from beside my bed. I unscrewed the lip, tipping it back. No water entered my mouth, I shook it over my face. It was empty. I huffed. There was a water supply downstairs. 

I pulled back my covers moving very slowly. I didn’t want to wake the men, knowing they needed their rest for the patrol. I placed my feet down on the floor, it was cold but I didn’t want to put on my boots. I would be down and back in seconds there was no need. I got off the bed, wincing at every creak and squeak from the mattress and the floor. I tip-toed slowly out of the room pausing every time I heard a noise. I could briefly make out shapes in the dark, the large holes in the wall providing some luminance from the moonlight.

I snuck down the stairs, cringing with every creak they made underfoot. I made it to the third step from the top, stepping down on my toes, when my ankle gave way underneath me. I flailed my arms trying to reach for something to grab onto but the steps didn’t have a handrail. I tipped forward, my body careening down the stairs. I seemed to hit every single step on the way down. I winced, but not from the pain, from the amount of noise my body made as it bounced down the stairs. So much for being quiet. I barrel rolled down the steps, landing in a heap at the bottom. I lay still, panting from the fall. Maybe if i just didn’t move no one would notice. I wasn’t in pain, probably from the adrenaline that was now coursing through my veins, yeah that’s going to help me get to sleep. I heard movements from upstairs. 

“What was that?” 

“Was that a bomb?” 

“What was that noise?” I heard the men upstairs whispering to each other, trying to figure out what all the crashing was from. 

“Who’s there?” Even though I was laying on my front sprawled out with my hair covering my face, I could see the shine from the flashlight land on me.  

“It’s Emily.” I said weakly, raising my hand over my head. “I fell.” 

The sound of footsteps sounded coming down the stairs. Babe was at my side in seconds. 

“Jesus, of course it was you who fell down the stairs.” Babe chuckled. I groaned. “Sorry, are you ok?” He asked, I gave him a weak thumbs up. “Come on, let’s get you up.”

I got to my hands and knees, my head spinning slightly. Babe grabbed my hands pulling me to stand. I winced in pain, oh no there it is. My whole body screamed in agnoy, especially my back which took the brunt of the fall. I clung onto Babe’s shoulder’s. As he helped me back up the stairs again, the rest of the men waited at the top, some of which had gotten back into their beds. 

“Can we take you anywhere?” Grant asked with a playful smile. 

“I’m sorry, I was trying to be quiet.” I felt so bad for waking them all. 

“Are you ok though?” Joe asked from his bed. I gave a nod as Babe gently placed me back onto the bunk, lifting my legs for me to swing into bed. I wasn’t that injured but he had done it before I could say anything. I let him tuck me back in. 

“You’re such a goose.” Babe said to me before climbing back into his own bed. Everyone fell asleep quickly including myself. 

—----------------

I was up with the men as they prepared to leave on the patrol. I gave a hug to Babe and Grant who left with the men. All we could do was wait. We made our way into the basement, where the men would bring the prisoner if it was a success.      

The sounds of footsteps clunked into the room, surely they weren’t back yet? Cobb, Skinny and Garcia walked in dripping wet. 

“What the hell happened?” I asked, standing from my seat, making my way over to the shivering men. 

“We took a dip.” Cobb said sarcastically. I moved forward to the men who stood in front of me. 

“Here, take off those clothes before you catch your death. Can we get some blankets and dry clothes over here!” I called helping Skinny pull off his jacket since his hands were shaking so badly. I ensured the other men took off their wet clothes as well. Once they were in dry clothes I draped them in blankets and put them by the fire. Skinny was still shivering, I passed him the warm coffee I had made for him.  

Then it was a waiting game again. Everyone else was out to help with covering fire. The men who had fallen into the water and I waited in the basement. I could hear distant gunfire and explosions. I could hear the sound of the whistles being blown, they were on their way back. I paced around the room, anxious to see how it went. I flinched with every explosion, come on why aren’t they back yet.       

The door burst open as the men poured in, “We got wounded. Come on!” They carried in the soldier. It was chaos, the men shouting orders, the gunfire that continued outside, the bustle of people that made their way in. The once empty room filled with four people was now teeming with life and noise. 

I made room on the table, instructing them to lay down the wounded man. It was Jackson. His face was badly injured as well as his upper torso. He gasped for breaths as he shook in pain. His face was burnt and disfigured. 

“It was his own grenade, he ran in too early.” One of the men told me. 

“Hold him down.” I yelled at the soldiers as Jackson squirmed around, making it harder for me to see. I pulled out my flashlight, opening his mouth. The inside of his throat was burnt. Shit. This wasn’t good. We were losing his airway every second, as it swelled shut. I needed an Oropharyngeal, but I didn’t have one, no one did. 

“Does anyone have a tube?” I asked, looking around at the men, they shook their heads. I tilted Jackson's head back trying to open his airway as best I could. But it would be no use in a matter of minutes when it swelled shut. 

“Does anyone have a pen?” More shaking heads. God fucking dammit. I wanted to try and do a tracheostomy, if I had a scalpel and a tube or even a pen I could create a new airway. But I had nothing in the way that I could perform the procedure. I flicked my eyes to Jackson, as he tried to fight, sitting up and moving. He was panicking, he was losing his breath faster, gasping and choking. 

“Jackson, lie still, don’t panic.” I tried to reassure him, but with each gasp he took, less air was entering his lungs. He was slowly suffocating. I didn’t have anything with me, no intubation kit, no scapula, no pen. I couldn’t keep his airway open. He was going to die if I did nothing. I could save him but I don’t have anything, I have no supplies. 

“Gene, do you have anything to intubate with, a pen, anything?” I asked as he rushed into the room. I watched him scavenge through his bag, he shook his head. 

“We need to move him, I don’t have the supplies to keep his airway open!” I told him. He nodded. 

“Let’s get him moving.” Gene called, the men helping him onto the stretcher.

“I don’t wanna die, I don’t wanna die.” He cried as he gurgled on his saliva. I held his hand as he was transferred. He looked right at me, “Don’t let me die.” I shook my head. “I won’t!” We moved him off the table. A bomb shook the house, making all of us duck, the men laying him on the floor on the stretcher. I kept his head tilted back as he choked on his blood and spit. I could hear him struggling to draw his breath. He writhed around gasping for air that wasn’t making it into his lungs. 

“Jackson! Jackson! Please, you have to hold on, please!” I begged trying to keep his airway open. He coughed, blood splattering out of his mouth and onto my face and clothes. He stilled. 

“No! No!” I said bending down pressing my mouth on his as I gave him rescue breaths. I could taste his blood in my mouth as I pulled back. I bent down again giving him two more, I blew into his mouth, turning my head to look at his chest. I waited for his chest to rise and fall, the feeling of his exhale on my cheek, listening intently for the sound of him taking a gulp of air. But I didn’t, his chest didn’t move, I didn’t feel anything on my cheek or the sounds of him breathing again. He was still. I hovered over his face, staring down into his now dull eyes. I pulled back, resting on my haunches, I looked around the room. Babe's eyes found mine, he shook his head in disbelief. Surely he didn’t lose another friend, another brother. The sad look in my eyes said it all. He had. We all had. 

I was so mad, I could’ve saved him, if I just had the supplies, anything, I could have sent this young man back to his family. 

I wiped my mouth that was covered in his blood. Martin approached, laying a blanket over the man, no boy. He was just a boy. 

The room that was once overbearing with noise, fell eerily silent. I hastily wiped the tears from my cheeks. I moved from my position walking over to Babe. I wrapped him in my embrace as he clung to me burying his head in my shoulder. 

I don’t think we slept the rest of the night. We made our way back to base, but we all stayed up. I sat in the middle of my bunk as Babe laid down smoking, resting his legs on my lap. I leaned back into the wall, still covered in the blood that wasn’t mine. Jones and Webster made their way back from dropping off the POW’s, wandering back into the room. 

“We heard you got two prisoners. Good work.” Don complimented Jones.

“Jackson’s dead.” Webster announced. Don and Lieb who hadn’t been there nodded, already hearing it from us when we got back. 

“Yeah, we heard.” Lieb said, laying on the top bunk behind Don.

“Yeah, well, they want another patrol tonight.” Perconte informed the men who had just joined us. When we had heard there was going to be another one, we were less than enthused, just because it went to plan didn’t mean we lost nothing. We lost a life. Why risk losing more? Why did they need more prisoners? The Germans were falling apart anyway. It felt like a waste to go over again. A risk we didn’t want to take. Just because it was a ‘success’ this time, didn’t mean the next one was going to be. What if we sent 15 men over there just to be killed. It was infuriating. I knew how this was going to end, hell it was all I learnt in history class. I knew that the Germans lost, and it was closer than they knew. I couldn’t blurt that to them, they would think I was crazy, or a spy. I wanted to shake Colonel Sink, tell him it wasn’t worth it. That these men were more precious than the German POW's they wanted so badly. Couldn’t he see that these men needed to be preserved. I huffed, patting Babe’s leg. He glanced over to smile at me. A small smile but it meant the world, I returned it. 

The men prepared nonetheless. Waiting in the same basement from last night. It felt tainted in that kitchen now. It wasn’t the same warm atmosphere it held before. Everything had been cleaned and organised but the feel of the room was heavy.      

I sat looking over the things in my medic bag. I wish I had more in it. It was almost barren apart from a couple of bandages, sulphur and medication. The rest of my bag was my personal items. I thumbed over them. The dress from Renee, a stone I had taken from the woods in Bastogne, the gloves I had had in my pockets the day I had arrived, the hand sanitizer bottle that was now empty, my wallet, my phone and headphones. It was bizarre to have those things in this time. These men had no idea who I really was. They believed I was a young girl from Boston who came over to help the injured and dying men. When in reality I had messed with someone much bigger than myself and got stuck. If I go home, or when I go home, these men will have passed. After I leave I will never get to see them again. I looked around at the group, they all looked weary and tired. Yawning as they cleaned their equipment. I glanced over to Cobb who stood in the doorway, raising a bottle to his lips and throwing back the drink. He swayed on his feet. He was clearly drunk. I shook my head. 

“Whatcha you looking at, Webster?” I heard him slur. I glanced up, Webster’s eyes trained on the inebriated man. Awkwardly glancing away after he had been called out by Cobb. 

“Yeah, that’s what I thought, college boy.” He taunted the man. I huffed, annoyed at his loud obnoxious voice. Everyone else was doing as they were asked, sure they weren’t thrilled but they never fussed. Cobb on the other hand had to be dragged to do everything and somehow managed to weasel his way out of it all. Moaning and groaning about doing the least amount possible. 

“Are you drunk, trooper?” Jones swivelled in his chair to face the drunkard. 

“Leave me alone.” Cobb snapped. But Jones didn’t flinch to his bitterness. 

“Answer the question.” Jones said again, tone more firm. The young boy who had wandered into CP yesterday was gone, he seemed more confident in his role. It fit him nicely. 

“Yes, sir. I am drunk, sir.” Cobb muttered. “Drunk, sick and tired of fucking patrols and taking orders.” He droned on. 

“Hey Cobb, shut up. It’s boring, okay?” Martin told the man. I hid my smile. It was nice to see him being put in his place. And Martin did give the best tellings off. 

“Taking his side, Johnny?” Cobb asked, looking butthurt. 

“Yeah, I am.” Martin said, turning away from him. We stayed in the basement preparing, waiting for our orders. 

I spoke quietly with Grant, Babe and Lieb who I was sitting with as they cleaned their guns. No one raised their voices over a hushed whisper. The tension in the room was solemn. 

“Do I need to do something about the situation?” Lieb whispered to me leaning closer so I could hear him. We hadn’t been talking before just sitting in silence. 

“What?” I asked confused, as the man had started talking like we were in the middle of a conversation that didn’t exist. 

“You and Malarkey.” He stated. 

“It’s fine Joe.” I shook my head, looking down at the floor. 

“Well it clearly isn’t, I can see that you’re upset. He also hasn’t spoken to you in days. Do I need to talk to him?” He asked concerned, ducking his head down to make eye contact with me. 

“What happened? This isn’t like you two.” I chuckled, when did he become so observant of me. 

“I have it sorted, I’m waiting for him to apologise.” I said. 

“Why does he have to apologise? What did he say?” He questioned me, the interrogator in him coming out.

“He just said that he didn’t have time for me, that he was busy.” I intentionally left out the part where he said he was my babysitter. I knew if I told that to Joe, he would try and fight Don.

“He’d better do it fast.” Lieb’s eyes falling on the man sitting across the room. He looked distant, staring off into space. 

“It’s fine Joe, plenty of other fish in the sea right?” I stated, trying to play off the hurt in my chest. Of course it wasn’t as simple as finding someone else, I didn’t want anyone else. But I didn’t want to fool myself into thinking he would do what I wanted him to do. Who knows he might be already done with me, before anything started. If there was nothing there like he said, he could be perfectly fine. He is just mourning his friends, nothing else. 

Joe gave me a sad smile, clearly not believing the front I had put up. His hand landed on my thigh and gave it a squeeze. I smiled, leaning into him. I rested my head on his shoulder as he lent his head on mine. We stayed like that for a while, not speaking, just resting. It was comforting. He was the older brother I never had. I didn’t think I would be able to smile again after losing Skip and Alex. I adored the two men. They had become my family. After I had lost them, I didn’t think I could trust and love someone as much as I did those two men. But somehow after the haze of it all, Joe waited for me. We were friendly, but never close before. Then suddenly he was everywhere I turned, with his charming smirk and witty banter. Same for Babe and Grant. They were just there when I needed them. They just took me in. I think that Alex and Skip had sent them somehow. I missed them so dearly. 

Grief was a weird emotion. I had experienced it many times before, but it was never the same. With my Nana, I was sad, but I was grateful, she was old and ready to go. I always thought of her fondly, never plagued too much by her passing. 

My mother on the other hand was a weight pulling me to the bottom of the sea. The heaviness of my grief was crushing. It was one thing to lose a parent, but to a disease where you had to watch them die slowly, knowing their fate, but secretly hoping for their survival. She was all I had left. I never fully am free of the sadness of her passing. 

Then here, losing lives everyday was hard, but it was manageable. Most of the men I didn’t know personally, I wasn’t tied to them. I felt sad for their death but was able to move forward. If I didn’t think of them too hard or how I had lost them, I was fine. 

With Alex and Skip it came in waves. The first a tidal wave, threatening to pull me down to the ocean floor just like with my mother. But I was dragged from the water, thrown a life saver. I had support. I would float on the top of the water, everything fine, happy and normal. Then every so often I would sink under the surface. The weight returned. It would hurt all over again, like a fresh wound. Just like lying in water, I would sink and float. Sometimes the sea was rougher than normal, or it was calm and tranquil. But just like the ocean it was unpredictable. 

I missed them all so much. 

“!0-hut!” Martin called. I stood quickly, focusing on the world around me again. I didn’t know how much time had passed, being so deep in thought.      

Winters, Nixon, and Speirs walked into the room. “At ease.” We all relax at Winters command. 

“This everybody Grant?” Winters asked.

“Sir.” Grant confirmed. 

Winters spoke to the men, telling them he was proud. My eyes wandered over to Nixon who hung in the archway. I smiled at him as he sent me a wink. I didn’t miss the exhaustion that lingered on his face. He motioned for me to pay attention, still smiling. I looked back at Winters who was telling the men there was another patrol set for tonight. Many heads hung low. Winters explained the plan, noting that not much was changing, other than the men would need to go further into town. More risk. I sighed, my leg bouncing nervously. Babe’s hand stilled my movements, he left his hand there. 

“It will be 0200 hours instead of 0100. Is that clear?” Winters asked, the men confirming. “Good. Because, uh, I want you all to get a full night’s sleep tonight. Which means in the morning you will report to me that you made it across the river into German lines but were unable to secure any live prisoners.” Winters paused as his words sunk in. He was going to lie. The men weren’t going to have to go on the patrol after all. I grabbed Babe’s hand under the table, squeezing it tightly. I channelled all of my relief into our clasped hands so that I wouldn’t whoop and yell. Babe held my hand as tightly as I did his. 

“Understand?” Winters asked the men, his eyes flitting around the room. The tension in the room had evaporated immediately, like a weight being lifted off our shoulders. 

“Yes, sir!” The soldiers said in unison. 

“Good, look sharp for tomorrow. We’re moving off the line.” He told the men as he gathered his supplies and left. I could’ve fallen out of my seat. OFF THE LINE! OFF THE LINE! 

“Did I fucking hear that right?” Lieb turned and asked me. I shook my head in disbelief. A smile pulling at my lips. 

“We’re moving off the line.” I uttered, Lieb and Babe grinning at me.

--------------------------------------

Chapter 23

[purplesurveys]

1944

Is your closet disorganized? It's not at the moment. I do have a great talent at slowly making it more and more chaotic lol, but when that happens I just do a hard restart and fix it back to how the clothes should look like.

Have you ever been to Times Square? I haven't but I would love to. I feel like I'd really enjoy my time there.

What TV shows do you watch on a regular basis? The only show I really ever enthusiastically rewatch would be Friends. I can't do that now, though, since they took it out of Netflix a few days ago. :( It's moving on Max when it launches in the Philippines later this month, and since I already have an HBO Go subscription (which will apparently rebrand into Max) I think I won't stay Friends-less for too long.

Have you ever accidentally left something valuable at a shop before? Not a shop, but I've left some stuff behind from events and never got to recover them. The things I feel most sorry for losing would be my pink Hydroflask tumbler (which I've had since college, so I was very attached to it huhu) + my power strip that I had bought just the day before.

What makes your life remarkable? Idk but I'm generally proud of myself for achieving as much as I have at 26 considering how shy I used to be or how much I really doubted myself since childhood. I still do...but I guess I'm just good at faking it till I make it.

Are you putting off doing anything that you really need to get done? Kind of, yeah.

What is the last thing you scribbled down on a Post-It note? Just work notes.

What are you currently listening to? I can hear the ceiling fan and a bit of my mom's TV upstairs, but other than that it's quiet.

How would you react in discovering your best friend was seriously obsessed with you? I'd tbh go straight to her fiance and ask what's going on and how I can help.

Do you care if your produce is organic or not? No.

Do you have any children? If so, how old were you when you had them? If not, do you think you ever will? No. I don't think I will.

Do you eat meat? Yes.

Do you get enough calcium? I like to think so. I drink milk everyday lol, for one.

Do you think before you act or speak? That's something I've definitely learned how to do more and more the older I've gotten and the more people I meet.

Do you have a SwagBucks account? I have no idea what that is.

Are you nosy? I could not care less.

Do you always try on clothes before purchasing them? No, it's such a hassle. I just pick something if I like it, find it in my size, and pay. Fitting takes such a long time considering I'll get it anyway lmao

Is there anything in your closet with the tags still on? I don't think so, no.

Are you happy with the size of your bedroom? It's the right size but I'm also looking forward to having a bigger room just for the sake of being able to experience having a spacious room.

Do you add people you don’t actually know on Facebook? No and I genuinely don't understand why others do that. Facebook, at least where I'm from, is different from other platforms in that it's designed for your personal network and keeping up to date with their lives. That said I uhhhh would have absolutely no reason to be adding strangers and knowing about their vacations or seeing their family photos. That idea is so weird...even stalkerish...to me.

What’s your favorite condiment? Mayonnaise. Chili garlic oil. Sesame oil!!!

Would you even want to know how much of your life has been spent online? Yes just out of curiosity but I know I'd be so ashamed of myself once I find out the number haha.

Do you shop at American Eagle? No.

List 5 things you’re afraid of: Losing a loved one, fire, cockroaches, rats, sharp objects.

Have you forgotten anything important recently? Ahaha last Wednesday I was out for a work meeting only to realize pretty late that I did not have either of my debit cards + my driver's license – I had transferred them into a smaller purse the other day when I went out for a family lunch and never got to place them back in my wallet. Fortunately I had my employee ID with me, but I still felt so stupid.

Would you say you’re an honest person? More often than not, yeah. If anything, I feel like I'm only ever dishonest toward myself – like about my personal feelings and frustrations and insecurities and such. In front of everyone else, though, I find it a waste of time to bullshit them.

The last Facebook message you received from the opposite sex, what did it say? It was just him telling me how to buy a PS5, haha.

What does the nicest message in your Facebook inbox say? I don't really keep track of stuff like that.

Is your best friend single? Nope.

What color was the ink of the last pen you wrote with? Black.

What does your pencil-case look like? I don't have one.

Where was the last place you went that was totally new to you, as in, it was the first time you’d been there? Good question. I wanna say Amici? I've had their food before, but I've never actually dined in their restaurant. It was a pleasant experience and the servers were all very nice.

When was the last time you used someone else’s computer? Around a month ago when I asked for permission to use Tina's laptop since she has Canva premium on hers.

Who do you dislike the most? Explain what you dislike about that person. I don't like one of my uncles because he's always been a useless dad who's done nothing but drag my hardworking, self-made cousin down...he's also a terrible TERRIFUCKINGBLE husband and has never kept a stable job...not to mention the fact that he subscribes to Nazism? You're fucking Filipino, what the fuck are you doing being a Nazi hello ahahaha??? It's just so frustrating watching a man have no redeemable qualities whatso fucking ever lol

What’s the longest you’ve liked someone without doing anything about it? I dunno. Like 2, 3 months? I asked them out immediately as I wanted to give it a shot, at least.

Do you use straightening irons on your hair? What brand? No.

What’s the relationship status of the last person you talked to? Single. At least I think she is. I don't pressure her to tell me anything.

Is there anything you would like to complain about? Yeah work sucks and I wish I could find something that brings me joy again.

What’s the first line of the last song you listened to? "Dearest, darling, my universe, would you take me along?"

Think of the person from your past that hurt you the most. Is there anything you would like to say to that person? No.

Does your mom like the last person you kissed? I knew she did.

Now your cell phone, what color is it? Light blue.

What was so special about today? The actual day sucked, but this evening I treated myself to sushi and found out that WWE Network is back in the country so I subscribed heheh. First thing I watched was Paul Heyman's HOF speech and let's just say I'm so glad I chose that.

If somebody tried to steal your best friend’s boyfriend/girlfriend, what would you do? That's kind of happening already. Gut reaction was to talk shit about the person directly to Angela, especially because she was already crying about it so I had permission to be angry and petty lol.

What was the last thing you said to your mother? Can't remember exactly but she was asking me a luggage-related question since she'll be flying out with dad in the next two weeks, and I just answered her on that.

When was the last time you cried? LOL I teared up a bit watching Hello, Love, Goodbye this afternoon - but since I was watching with my sister and I never cry in front of family, I made up some bullshit excuse that I had to pee but really it was so that I could let it out in the bathroom hahaha

Has anyone made you upset lately? Not really, no.

What are you looking forward to? Seeing my dad. Not working in my workplace anymore...

Does anyone completely understand you? Sure.

Ever stayed up all night on the phone? Yeah.

Do you miss your past? I do miss some parts of it, but it's all in a nostalgic sense. I'm not like, caught up or feeling stuck in 2016 or anything like that.

Do you have a reason to smile right now? I do.

Are you a forgiving person? No.

Do you say sorry first? Yes, if I have to.

Do you like cats? I like cats now - Max helped me with that. I'm still very much a dog person but my previous slight dislike for cats is pretty much nonexistent now.

Has someone promised you something and broke it? Sure.

Did you kiss or hug anyone today? Just the pets.

Does your phone ring in the middle of the night? It doesn't, and unless it's coming from family I'd be a little pissed off if anyone would be calling that late. I would also 100% ignore the call.

Is there anybody you’re really disappointed in right now? No.

Have you ever lost someone you wish you didn’t? For a period of time I felt this way, but it's also been a long time since I got over it.

Are you anything like you were a year ago? Yeah, in that I'm still a ball of nerves and anxiety at work everyday.

Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom? Sure.

Would you rather spend a day outside with friends or inside alone? I'd love to spend a day with friends, mainly because I already work from home 5 days a week and spend most of my time alone.

Think back to this time last year, were you happy? Not completely.

Has anyone upset you in the last week? Sure.

What should you be doing? I should be sleeping but like it's the weekend so I want to make the most of my precious free time before work shoots up my blood pressure again.

Describe how you feel right now in one word. Escaping.

What would you do if you found out one of your friends was going for the person you liked? I don't like anyone.

Do you prefer drinking water from a bottle or a sink? I can't drink from the sink in the first place; tap water is not a thing here.

Will you ever run away and get married in Las Vegas with no notifications to either of your families? No.

Have you ever thrown your iPod in anger? I can't recall ever doing so.

Who did you last have a heart-to-heart conversation with? Angela.

Do you believe that there’s good in everybody? Sorry, no.

Has anything happened to you within the past month that has made you mad? Yes.

Would you ever get a tattoo? Probably not. Needles be freaky.

[muadweeb]

logan calling kendall "kenny" during the phone call with connor....

[drink-tang-gang]

Dear Drink Tang Gang

I love your brain and they way you analizes the looney tune characters, I'm in awe, wthh, reading your analysis gives my brain sm serotonin.

Now I have a little question which sadly doesn't require an analysis, and although it's kind of an old question, I remember I really wanted to ask this to someone but I couldn't find who, it's very silly but I was very starved for Baffy content so I wondered why aren't there any Daffy and Bugs interactions in "The Looney Tunes Cartoons" from HBO?

I haven't watched all the content, but from what I know in "The New Looney Tunes" (which is the reason why they canceled "The Looney tunes show" Thank you so much>:(((( there are a few eps where you can see Daffy and Bugs together but rarely. And now with "Looney Tunes Cartoons" I only know Bugs and Daffy are together on Bugs's birthday but there were no real interactions. And I get that originally the dynamics were different and I can see how they went back to their roots but at the same time, I feel like they are lowkey on purpose not putting them together. I don't know... and an episode where Bugs and Daffy are together in Looney Tunes Cartoons would be interesting to watch! I know they are both stars and it's scary someone might take on the protagonisim (specially because I don't think Daffy is as bitter as he usually is in this version which might make a little more tricky the dynamic) but they have done it before and it has worked greatly! So I don't understand why aren't they together in those cartoons:(

Anyway, I really hope this wasn't too confusing, feel free to ignore it, at this point this feels more like a vent, ahaha.

that’s ok haha, and it seems you pretty much talked your way through the reasons why Bugs and Daffy haven’t been paired up yet: It’s hard to say whether Bugs and Daffy will get along and they might try and steal each other’s spotlight. Plus, LTC is an homage to the earlier shorts, where a Bugs and Daffy team up wasn’t a thought. Maybe the LTC crew just felt that B+D would be too easy, or did it once for a series finale kinda thing (we’ve yet to see the full release of LTC content). We don’t really know, but it absolutely warms my heart when fans and even casual watchers alike feel like something’s missing w/ out seeing Bugs and Daffy together. They’re a matching set!! Please do not separate!! 🥺

[ughgclden]

bee, love, don’t apologise, please, it’s okay, and first and foremost, are you alright?? i hope you’re taking care of yourself, love, but i understand, i don’t think there’s been a year since third grade that i haven’t gotten pneumonia in the winter. I hope you’re feeling alright!!

honestly, dead poets society is one of my only personality traits anymore, i find myself drawing parallels to it constantly, for no reason but i love thinking about it. i’ve watched it so many times at this point, it’s,,, concerning. those tests always take me way less time than they give me, and i used to feel really awkward, i remember i took a bio one once, four hours they gave me, 45 minutes in, i was finished, and the moderator didn’t believe me. i aced it too, like the silly little neil kinnie i am. i’ve gotten used to the ‘worse’ side of being a neil kinnie, and honestly, now that my mum isn’t as controlling about everything as she used to be, it’s easier to deal with. i remember once, i’d gotten an 89 in algebra, and she threatened to pull me out of the fall show. that was a neil perry moment if i ever had one lol. the biggest thing these days is just imposter syndrome, imposter syndrome like oh you’re not hispanic enough, but also, you’re not queer enough, nonbinary enough, things like that. It’s exacerbated some days, but i try.

i watched the it movies on my cousin’s hbo,,, i may or may not have used it without her permission since she forgot to log out of my computer, but that’s neither here nor there. i remember having such a hard time taking the first one seriously initially, because of all the new kids on the block jokes, having a mum who was obsessed with them made it hard, especially when i actually got them all- in truth, the only midnight premiere i’ve been able to make was the force awakens, and i had school the next day too. i’m definitely a richie kinnie, and i have the internalised homophobia (only towards myself though) to prove it /hj my waterbottle has both a sticker of neil on it and a sticker of the r + e carving on it. in case there was any doubt about me lmao. stan kin makes sense for you, honestly, i can see it, i can see it.

okay so listen- no really, i’d bought them with the intention of only drinking half of one that night and spreading them out like that, but then came 9:45pm, and i had a research paper (on womens’ pockets/lack thereof) due at 10am that i simply hadn’t even started, so i downed them all in an hour and got the paper turned in at 5:56 in the morning. but i scare you huh? /hj bee, you’re too sweet, in truth, i’m fairly inelegant, but i try, as for the comforting and cosy, i’ll take you at your word, since that is something only someone interacting with me could discern. i do try to be kind to others for the most part. mainly i think because i’m usually on the other end of mean people.

i’m just perceptive like that bee, i dunno what to tell you, something just tells me, you know? /j and thank you, i always feel a little silly talking about it, because most of the tattoos i want are dead poets society tattoos, i guess some part of me, within the part of me that feels so incredibly tied to it, feels as if if i were able to get a tattoo i’d owe it to the movie in some way, if that makes any sense. i’ve already begged a friend of mine to go with me to get my first once i get to new york, the question though, is what to get first. i’ve got time to make a decision (for once in my life) i just spend a lot of time thinking about it.

honestly, i have never known a school rule to make sense. banning ripped jeans? banning dyed hair? it’s almost as if if they don’t stifle everything natural about kids expressing themselves they dont feel like they’re doing anything. but i digress. the same-sex couple rules were. awful. 12 year old me had enough going on without having an administrator yell at my friend and i for hugging in the courtyard and not leaving until we were a foot apart, but hey.

okay, jumping over a fence to go to a mcdonalds? how coming of age indie movie manic pixie dream girl of you /hj

200k words, is that a challenge? also ahaha not at all like my italian uncle up there just opened a ‘pizzeria’ /hj but mob!star au? might be a project i should start… granted, i’m not as good a storyteller as you, but i can try.

when i was little, i wanted to revolutionise things, i guess. i even actually wrote out a campaign, i wonder if its still somewhere. thank you for believing in me, but these days, bee, i’m thinking less about changing the world, and more about making it the next few weeks, and then the ones after that. little star was aware of so much, but also so little. i wonder what they’d think of me now, honestly.

i did, in fact, teach archery, it was so fun but my arms got SO SORE, and the kid who challenged my archery skills seemed surprised when i actually,, hit the bullseyes. my inner susan was happy then. incidentally the experience is also why i made a playlist called “touchstarved and wanting to teach you to shoot a bow” which low-key slaps when i’m lonely. and bee omg i cannot believe you said im better than susan pevensie i will be thinking about this for the rest of my life thank you- and yes, yes it was named aslan, however did you guess? /j prince caspian<33333

i’ll let you know my results from the tournament, as soon as they come out, and i say this having just put on pjs after taking off my suit, and sitting in the room with my cat in my dear evan hansen hoodie, frantically refreshing the results page because i’m anxious and impatient.

i hope you have a good night, with fitful and restful sleep, i’m sorry this got to be so long, but you know me, i certainly can talk. i’m honestly shocked i even made it to finals, considering i was running off four hours of sleep, having gone to bed at three last night. whoops.

all my love, hugs, and a warm mug of tea,

yours,

star✨

p.s i said yes so that?? happened?? it honestly feels surreal but we’re not gonna be in the same place anymore come the end of this year, so that’ll be something to deal with

P.p.s might just start adding spanish or latin or russian phrases to these if i keep having to translate your cute french bee /lh /hj

star my love, i know you said don't apologise, but i think the word 'sorry' makes up about 60% of my vocabulary. i'm okay!! was just a bit icky, but luckily i've recovered now!!

that's so nice - and again, makes so much sense for you. i think you would work perfectly in welton, i know it. i love bringing the messages from that film into my own life, as silly as it may sound. i'm astonished, and so fucking jealous of you. i used to finish tests maybe half an hour early, but hours is so impressive??? fun fact i did finish my physics final in about 45 minutes and slept for the other hour <3 neil would b proud my love!!! oh my god - i'm so sorry that happened??? but that is also so neil kinnie??? it seems futile me saying this, but i assure you that you are hispanic enough, and queer enough, and non-binary enough. you are enough, period. more than enough even. imposter syndrome is the worst, and i'm so so sorry you're dealing with it.

she did that to herself, you just saw an opportunity /lh a midnight premiere of the force awakens sounds so cute though omg - i hope you had the absolute best time. the r + e carving actually broke me. as a die hard reddie shipper since 2017, seeing the movie make it basically canon?! had me a mess in the cinema.

you are ridiculously comforting and cosy, everything about you feels like a warm hug from a familiar face and i love it. and the way you write is so smooth, it makes me think of a quill smoothly gliding across parchment, the deep black ink unsmudged and pristine. that seems a little pretentious of me, but oh well.

i also want some dps tattoos!! i desperately want "and still we sleep" from todd's poem, and was also so so tempted to get an outline drawing of meeks + pitts dancing on the roof. i love that, and i can't wait until the day you get it, whichever one it may be. my one concern is becoming addicted to them and making my bank account suffer - at least my piercing obsession is a little easier to fund /hj

i've NEVER gotten that - they claim it's 'distracting' but how on earth would it be?? when i got to college, no one was distracted by my dyed hair, and i certainly wasn't distracted by other people's outfits or painted nails. you were yelled at. for hugging. a friend.. what the fuck is wrong with these people??

just call me ramona flowers star /j it was possibly the highlight of my school career, sans hiding in the back room of the music room to avoid a maths test

i bet you're an amazing storyteller, if these letters are anything to go by. it would be a new york times best seller, i know it

we all have to take things one step at a time, i think. that's the only way i really get through things if i'm honest. one day after another and the cycle repeats. i love wondering what young me would think of me now - i'd probably be intimidated of myself, but i like to think i'd be proud that i'm still here, pursuing something i love

that playlist. sounds nothing short of sheer perfection. i too am touch starved and want to teach someone to shoot a bow - even though i.. cannot shoot a bow... but i can wield a sword so, it's close enough.

i saw your message about the tournament results - im so fucking proud of you!!!! you deserve it so so much and i couldn't be happier for you. see, your words and ideas are changing the world, even if you don't realise it.

ps; that is so fun???? omg im so happy for you star, you deserve tis <33 i hope towards the end of this year whatever happens leaves you both happy, no matter how far the distance.

pps; omg no.. please don't do that.. aha that would be awful... definitely wouldn't make my heart race.. haha not at all

all of my love, star. pardon the pun, but you are out of this world ;) i'll leave you with one of my favourite quotes;

il n'y a qu'un bonheur dans la vie, c'est d'aimer et d'être aimé <3

[avauntus]

Ooof... HI blog mutuals! How are you? 

Back around January 5th, I had a cloud of commitments drift over my calendar at work, and I thought: :This will be a busy week.: Two months later... well, it’s a break period soon, and I will probably sleep through half of it. 

I have been getting a few drabs of writing done, but it’s pretty fragmentary. I made progress on the mc:tna WIP! *jazz hands*

I also spent a lot of time the past month or so on the couch watching TV, because I didn’t have bandwidth for anything else. I want to do a quick impressions post, in case anyone is curious about these programs, too!

Below, thoughts on:

Alice in Borderland (Japan; Netflix)

His Dark Materials (British; HBO Max)

Raya and the Last Dragon (US; Disney+)

Vincenzo (Korea; Netflix)

WandaVision (US; Disney+)

Alice in Borderland (Netflix - 8 episodes, ends on a -minor- cliffhanger)

This one really grabbed me by the throat, but in a way that is entirely about style and setting. Characters in this drama don’t have a long shelf life, and like Battle Royale, it is extremely bloody. Also like Battle Royale, how much enjoyment you get out of it depends on your tolerance for watching people group up and then be shocked when the strangers they’ve decided to trust (inevitably) gruesomely betray them. If you enjoyed the style of Cube, Hunger Games, The Game, or Matrix Reloaded, and can stand (or like me, fast forward through) the gore, you might enjoy this.

Random impressions:

I know why Arisu is the main character, but brass tacks: if he didn’t have plot armor, he wouldn’t be. Usagi, Kuina, Karube, or Chishiya the entire way.

Almost the second I turned it off, a full-formed plot bunny of how Chishiya and Kuina met jumped in to my head, so maybe that will get written someday. Because they’re the best (regrettable murder-duo tendencies aside).

Either the borderland is a simulation, or they’re all stuck in someone’s psychotic break-- there’s too much that doesn’t add up for it to be anything else (although the “aliens!” theory is fun).

His Dark Materials (HBOMax - 2 seasons (15 eps), 3rd season in production)

I really wanted to like this more than I did... If you’ve read the books, and enjoyed them, it is a beautifully filmed version of that, but the show sells the grand drama of a War for Free Will much too short. Like, my favorite things in two seasons were Lee Scoresby (Lin Manuel Miranda, surprising the hell out of me), the City of Citagazze (what?), Mrs. Coulter (...what?!), and Lord Boreal. 

Lyra, Pan, Will, the Golden Compass itself, the angels, the Spectres, the Magisterium -- ehhhh. They were fine. But not more than that. And some of the things I outright loved in the books were terrible here. Whoever cast Lord Asriel, the witches and Jopari/John Perry did...not do their best work, imo. I’ll probably watch season 3, but it won’t be a “must watch” for me.

Raya and the Last Dragon (Disney+ - animated film, ~2 hours)

I shelled out US $30 to see this opening weekend, and I’m not sorry about that choice. Reviewers are saying the story is a bit “generic” and...I guess? I think it depends on what you were expecting. But for me, this movie hit all my buttons - actual characterization for its female leads; humor; enemies to lovers friends; big epic conclusion to its story; found family; basically an RPG sourcebook lite approach to introducing the world; magic with consistent rules and NOT overpowered; BIG ol’ plothole at the end if someone wanted to write for it...

 There has been another criticism leveled, in that Raya tries to take a “pan SE Asia” approach with its setting that really, really bothers some viewers. I tried to keep an eye out for it when I watched, and quickly realized I don’t know enough about artistic influences from that area of the world to be able to tell. So it didn’t bother me, but in that I might be part of the problem. I will say that the setting seemed to be a little too “flavor-y” in its regions if it was supposed to be one country originally. But I mean, this was also a film with a giant rolling armadillo--  wasn’t thinking about it very hard.

Vincenzo (Netflix - airing now, new eps Sat & Sun in the US)

Ahaha, where to START?  I started watching this on a whim eating dinner one night, and it’s maybe my new favorite show. Netflix labels this a “dark comedy,” and yeah, I guess? I also sent my friend a text when I started binging this midweek that went, roughly:

“Ooh, now we’re staging an Italian mini-Epcot to stop the demolition gang, and GLITTER CANONS!! Also we’re ripping off The Great Gatsby.”

...and that’s the vibe, really. 

This is the rare drama where I feel confident saying: Watch the first episode. If you like it, you’ll like the rest (so far- ep. 6 just aired). I am a BIG fan.

WandaVision (Disney+ - 9 episodes)

Ohhhh, man. This was so much better than I expected, and the second trailer (above, if YouTube lets you see it where you are) gave me high hopes. It’s probably better if you have a vague idea who Wanda and Vision are, but you know I don’t know that you would really need that?

It’s about nostalgia, love, grief, and the stories we tell ourselves-- the ones that are self-serving, and the stories we think serve us, and don’t. It actually lets Wanda lead in her own narrative, for once, but doesn’t undercut what she’s had to go through to get there. Like a Korean drama, the first few episodes are going to seem underwhelming if you’re there for “big P” plot-- but give it room. 

Wanda facing down the beekeeper at the end of episode 2 gave me chills like very little has on TV for a while. Elizabeth Olsen packs a lot into that 2 seconds:

And Kathryn Hahn as Agnes is delightful. She’s totally on the up-and-up, of course-

Secondary shout-out to DR. Darcy Lewis, low-key saving the day and snarking her way through it. So happy to see her again, too.

I’ve watched the whole series now (last episode twice; cried both times) -- and I think this is going to be one of my favorite things of 2021.

[trinitywc]

Hello! I have recently found your blog and subsequently binged the entire story on AO3. Since I love talking about my opinion you can have all the feedback I can think of. Also SPOILER for EVERY CHAPTER! Be warned new readers.

First of all the story seems very well structured to me. Reading it all in one go, no parts seemed to drag or anything. The atmosphere is well conveyed, at the beginning the seemingly endless, depressing war and the danger all cats are constantly in. The second part, after the bomb feels very different. I could practically hear the soundtrack (similar to HBOs Chernobyl of course) full of eery sounds and the air was full with foreboding, mystery and the haziness of sickness. So good Job!

Especially the part with Mallownose hit me hard. Pinefrost never interacted with these kits, but it was still so hard to read. I liked Wooly a lot, so I wish Pinefrost would be just a little bit more open with her. Oh well, can’t undo a lifetime of indoctrination that fast.

Other characters that I liked very much very Flax and Gravel. Warriors often has characters that are either noble and great or absolute villains and no in-betweens. So a character who I read as not wishing bad things on others but simply being selfish or craven, too stuck in their ways to change etc. was very refreshing.

Dandelionfall and Chestnutspike are another interesting pair. Chestnutspike especially was hard to grasp for me, when Pinefrost expressed her dislike for him I was interested in their backstory (were they friends ? Was he a -paw at the same time ? Why does she dislike him so much ? Is it just because of his opinion on the war ?) but it wasn’t revealed, or not as clear / in as much detail as I would’ve wanted. I hope both of them will appear again, and we get some insight into Dandelions and Chestnuts friendship/maybe romance. (?)

Ouzelheart, Shell, and her brother ( im so bad at names I hope you know who I mean) were also interesting to me. How Pinefrost in the beginning felt intimated by Shells eyes, but later she seeks her approval showed the character progress quite well. Ouzelheart is just a cutie, and I wish her good things, assuming she survived. I’m torn between wanting to see her again and wanting her to escape from Clans / everyone else’s squabbles.

I do wonder if we’ll ever get conformation about who else died. I’m especially interested in Sunstars and Kitehearts fate, since it seems those two would bring a lot of conflict to any survivor group. Maybe the fire was bad enough to burn their bodies to nothing, or they’ll show up again.

One thing that wasn’t clear to me (maybe on purpose?) was where exactly the bomb dropped. Was Twolegplace right by the clans the intended target ? If so I can’t imagine that anything still stands upright. Or did it drop a lot further away, maybe behind the cliffs, and the clans where on its outermost shockwave/flame radius ? Did Humans evacuate the place at all or do they just, like, give up and live inside the radiation zone ?

Anyway, that was mostly it for Feedback. Got a bit long, but I hope you don’t mind. My theory’s are that the next part will be about a journey through twolegplace, hopefully to get away from the radiation, and that we will get additional perspectives of more than just Pinefrost. As far as I know Dandelionfall, Baypaw/Blackwillow and Cranestar are important characters, so maybe one of their perspective will be shown. Or they just meet up with Pinefrost. Hopefully none of those cats ever try having kits, cuz that could get really messy and, well, tragic.

Ah thank you so much!!! I love long feedback like this thank you 🥺🥺🥺 as for Chestnutspike and Pinefrost yes they trained together for a moon when she was first an apprentice, and they just don’t click. Sorry if t didn’t come across but I’ve always had Pinepaw/frost not like Chestnutspike in the Clans as he has similar anti-war ideas to her, and is vocal about opposing Kiteheart’s militancy- he gets judged/looked down upon which makes Pinepaw/frost feel bad for her own opinions. They also don’t click, they’re both the same headstrong personality really. As for confirmation of who died well! You’ll just have to see ahaha. The bomb went off over Twolegplace/the city, as for the humans... well you’ll just have to see as well! Love your theories for the next part, can’t confirm toooo much 😌 but yes we will see a journey through the city. No promises on no one having kits though...

[themanicgalaxy]

SPN 5X6 I Believe the Children are our Future

oh boy that doesn't sound ominous at All

oh boy this is fun, she's just casually brushing her hair, like you do

boy I genuinely thought that kid was dead

and the fade in, yes we are a tv show

AMBER IS D E A D

she did it to herself..? bs

AHAHA AND THEY BOTH ITCH

Dean you didn't have a babysitter

ah he's trying to Get with the Kids

yeah Jimmy's sus

AHAHAH DEAN

oh it was a prank but then it wasn't

IT COOKED THE PIG?

and no batteries

ah yes Dean must get the snack

he's a barrel of laughs this guy

these Kids and their iPhones

but it's not him, they just traumatized the dude

oh GOD WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT TOOTH FAIRY

B I T C H THAT WAS HORRIFYING

the horror has been a lot more this season

IT JUST TOOK ALL HIS TEETH

oh he's not kidding

ah so we don't know either this time around I see

Reshaping reality, that people believe

"we don't have a fridge" ahaha

it's the food scarcity

"do not use my razor" *grins*

I do love the green screen sky

ah it was masturbating I see

"you can trust us we're the authorities" oh BOY THAT'S POINTED TOO

this kid is fun

"my dad told me different stories" pfft

ah the kid is sheltered and goes off of Wack Information

but his beliefs end up being right oh NEAT

AW Dean made the kid smile

he's good with kids

ah unknown father, time to find the mom

boy that is a lot of locks

boy '98 kids would be about like...11 jeez

her eyes actually look unfocused neat

"you're not demons" "how do you know about demons"

ah she was possessed by a demon

it forced her to kill people

BOY is that sequence fucked up

Violation of Bodily Autonomy jesus

ah yes the salt wow

jesus this is disturbing

and yeah, put the kid up for adoption

Virgin birth? uh oh??

CASTIEL!!!

..kill him?

o GOOD it's the antichrist

PFFT THE FART CUSHION

"bible gets as much right as wrong" oh?

demon spawn

AH so thanks to the apocalypse, it got triggered

boy someone in the lighting department really likes Dean

Cas vs Sam...ok yeah I get it Sastiel shippers DAMN

but him and Dean are more chill rn tbh

also the kid was had specifically so it would be around now OUCH

"he might make the right choice" "you didn't" O h D A M N

JEEZ IT'S THE ONE THAT GOT HER WHAT THE FUCK

LEAVE THIS POOR WOMAN ALONE

boy the visuals are unsettling

BE NOT AFRAID

cas you're gonna kill him that's your plan bruh

HE ACTION FIGURED CAS OH MY GOD THAT'S SO GOOD

"you're a superhero" AW

speaks his language

Dean understands escapism(and kids)

"he's even in a wheelchair" BOBBY PFFT

"like the XMEN"

ah cuz Sam's lucifer's vessel but Dean is Michael

ok but it's also so easy to turn him

"always known you were different" SAM WHERE ARE YOU

"I wanna hear what he has to say" oo

ah this kid has POWER

Sam trying to stop this kid from making a bad choice Aw

"kid you're awesome" aw

heheh fallen angel

HIS FUCKING HAIR WHO MADE THE CAS FIGURINE

"what if I don't want to fight" oop

"we're kinda freaks ourselves"

the appealing to him with their dead dad is GOOD aw

do NOT GIVE THE KID ULTIMATE CHOICE WHAT THE FUCK

ah yes the pan onto the mom

ah but he wants to go places, do things

He ran

CAS BACK

He made things normal and YEET

and he can no longer be found

"we destroyed that kid's life by telling him the truth" oof

yknow protect them from the real evil, yeah ok

...oh Dean's the parent

"I wish dad had lied to us" oof

1. this feels like hbo supernatural. Like the subject matter is MUCH darker, it feels like a pointed setup, the iconography is More, the violence is more. It's GOOD, it's just a bit Jarring to just...get a lot of all the time. Like boy they were putting in ALL of the budget, all of the stops for this one.

probably the most clear one was Julia's violation of bodily autonomy. Like they NEVER did much with that but there was So Much

2. Kid + toys. Kid processing the world through toys(turn the scary into an action figure, turn the pranks into deadly), and gags, etc + Dean relating because he does that too

3. aw SAM. Sam having a plot once again about "hey being fated doesn't mean it's gonna have to happen." The violation of bodily autonomy(along the thing with it happening to Julia right in the same episode) is..Like it feels like a mangled metaphor, but it..is there.

4. Dean + kids. Just..I like that he's good with kids. Like it's super super consistently shown(if not told, Dean is a character that has those two constantly at war with each other), and It's neat

5. yes choice is important but that is a CHILD. OH this ties into the bottom point of how John treated them as adults, and they did it only to realize oh..that's fucked up

6. lies. The "parents lie" plotline felt a bit shoehorned in/underdeveloped, but it was an interesting analysis of their sibling relationship+how things could have been good with their dad. Their dad expected them to grow up super super quickly, like they did with Jesse, but then it fucked them up Horribly and they're still figuring that out.

like boy it felt like when you say something and everyone goes quiet and you're like..oh was that actually trauma?

Also! can no longer find the antichrist! just because you're traumatized doesn't mean your choices live in a vacuum!

whee

[a-kind-of-merry-war]

I don’t know why you’re my go to blog for this, but you seem sweet and like I can talk to you even on anon. I’ll shut up after this 🤐 but I was just remembering when I said about feeling bad for streaming Got which I kind of got over but then I realised about the whole VPN stuff and maybe I should have got one to access hbo or however you try to do it. Not that I knew much about them then but eh maybe I should stop overthinking this 😅😅

ahaha hello again anon! I need a name for you... GOT!Anon feels too impersonal. 

Anyway. I’ve considered getting a VPN for a while (for... far less legal reasons) but I’ve never done any real research because I am a lazy pos and can’t be arsed. 

HOWEVER. If a company the size of HBO wants people to access their shows legally and all that then they should make their content accessible and easily available to everyone without having to dick about with VPNs and whatnot. If they make it difficult for people who don’t live in the US to watch their content legally then... *shrugs*. I find it hard to blame the people who just wanna watch the shows but can’t access them, ya know?

So I wouldn’t worry about it *dances*

Anyway anyway, you don’t need to shut up! I’m always here (...literally) and I like chatting to you, whoever you are~

[docholligay]

Sailor Moon Tweaks

I wrote a version of this that is basically a fic outline in its own right, trying to spare you that, but: we’re adapting the 90s anime with a few things in mind and a twist. I actually like both magical girls as a genre and the Cosmic Space Epic bullshit we see in the manga, so I’ll be playing with that while adding a very significant cost to all such bullshit. Also, for this to be possible I would have to have threatened, blackmailed, or bribed SO MANY HBO executives SO HARD that we’re going FULL wish fulfillment, we got five thirty-episode seasons and a budget that will make Game of Thrones weep. (Why 30? Because while we won’t be beholden to the MOTW format, they do give some nice structure for character development and interactions, and we will want downtime, not just ‘minimum viable room for this amount of plot’ time, which I’d put at about 20-25 episodes.) The action sequences will be glorious, the transformation sequences will each cost about as much as an entire standard episode and will be played DEAD SERIOUS, and for everyone who complains about them I add another sparkly flounce to whoever comes next. Now, for the actual show. 

Okay, so mostly I tried to respond to these comments anon so i’m responding to the IDEA and not any personal relationship or feelings I have about someone (I don’t think i’M LARGELY a biased person, but I try wherever I can not to give myself the chance to be) But I HAD to check which response this was because I am OBSESSED with your tone here. I love you. i am not going to out you to everyone here but you MUST know that I did not expect the length or ferocity of this entire essay from you and I am CHARMED. I would love to hear your idea for these transformations, as I have many opinions myself. 

 1) In the first season, we get a SUPREMELY expensive SilMil flashback two-parter that reveals Queen Serenity, as she set her daughter for reincarnation, bound the core of the Silver Crystal into her daughter’s soul. (I think I’ve used this headcanon before, it’s a favorite of mine.) As she uses it, she will bind herself further to it, until the two are completely merged and she becomes someone powerful enough to restore the Silver Millennium and defend it against all harm. We see enough of what it’s like to realize this is not a good idea. The girls, who identify firmly as Earthlings in this life, are not comfortable with this. Worse, the ginzuishou’s kind of sentient and it wants the same things. For the rest of the series, every resurrection Usagi performs, every massive act of magic, and every powerup she gets that allows her to stay competitive with the escalating series of threats is slowly bringing her closer to that outcome. (Her hair steadily gets lighter in tone, the way she speaks changes when she’s in Serenity Form and that starts bleeding into her normal life, etc. Usagi’s arc is one half growing into someone who will fight for her friends and planet, and one half a very sparkly horror story as a magical rock parasitizes her and she knows it.) The growing distance from Naru is a symbol of Usagi losing herself to her own magic. 

I think I love this! It is nowhere NEAR where I would go with it, but I think it could be so good, and so interesting to pick apart that I actually think I do want to be on this writing team ahaha WE!!! LOVE!!! CONSEQUENCES!!! IN!!! THIS!!! HOUSE!!!

 2) That bleeds into the idea of Crystal Tokyo. Chibiusa’s future ceases to exist the moment she goes back to the past to change it (we’ll be making her about ten from the start here), but what she represents remains. She is the future where they fail, and the Silver Millennium is essentially restored, and Usagi as they know her is lost to be another Serenity. By the time they realize this they’re pretty attached to Chibs, but it leaves them unsettled. Can they subvert a destiny that seems set in stone? Beryl thought Usagi was too dangerous to live because of the Serenity line, was she right? Usagi is even more set on trying to save Hotaru, and as many villains as possible, because she ultimately wants to be able to save HERSELF. (She does get to save Hotaru, who gets the chance to redefine Sailor Saturn for herself and doesn’t become a baby, but this of course comes at the cost of more of Usagi’s own autonomy.) 

So what do you do with Hotaru then? My issue with Hotaru has always been that’s she’s a bit OP, and her and Pluto really cannot do a lot with the narrative other than die when they’re cast that way, which is why i sorta *wiggles fingers* about the whole thing. Which is basically a non-answer, and I cop to that, but i FEEL like Hotaru dying is the only other option and while I do enjoy getting murdered on the internet, I doubt HBO would. 

 3) Apart from the Black Moon Clan, all post-Beryl villains - movies and Doom Tree included - are from off-Earth. This is because the galaxy is magically active on the whole, with planets who haven’t awakened their potential frequently becoming vassal states to those who have. The solar system has escaped this bullshit since the fall of the Silver Millennium by being a backwater system where nothing really important is, since the Serenity line fell and somehow took the Silver Crystal with them. This is hinted at as early as season one, but serves as Season Four’s big reveal. Incidentally, the Nehellenia arc’s conclusion will be the Stars version, the Outers get a role in SuperS besides the special (though we’re keeping that because Peak Michiru,) and we’re cutting Helios’s maidens and secrets horseshit in favor of him being some kid who went to sleep as the Earth Kingdom was falling, woke up in the modern era, and is therefore a source of Earth’s old magical knowledge. So anyway, these three things culminate in the final showdown with Galaxia being a massive, awesome fight between the Senshi and all the allies they’ve gathered over the series on one end, Galaxia cutting them down effortlessly on the other, and her dealing a massive blow to the Earth that blows the masquerade wide open, forcing Usagi to use the Silver Crystal one last time, wipe Galaxia out, and resurrect the dead, leaving Usagi in a magical crystal flower bud at the epicenter of what was once Tokyo while the Silver Crystal finishes their metamorphosis. This is not actually the final fight. The ACTUAL final fight is the people who love Usagi versus the Silver Crystal itself for her, and by extension, the ultimate fate of Earth as the SilMil Mark 2 or a magically active planet capable of shaping its destiny for itself.

If you kill Usagi at the end of it all to save earth I will kiss you on the mouth. 

[malarkgirlypop]

He's the Boss Part 2 (Bull Randleman x F!Reader)

HI! I am mean and there is going to be a part three. It's gonna be spicy! But for now here is part two, hope you all enjoy! He is one fine looking man ugh! Someone find me a bull to ride! ok I need to calm down ahaha. Based on the HBO show and the actor who portray the characters, no hate to anyone involved.

I huffed in frustration, my hair wasn’t sitting how I wanted it too. I spent ages getting ready, wanting to look nice for once when we went out. I had showered, even shaved, with one of George’s razors I had stolen. My legs felt and looked silky smooth, which was good, as I was wearing the women's formal army attire. Which included a skirt, button up top, and a fitted jacket. When it was put altogether it looked nice, it hugged my curves, giving me an hourglass figure. I was trying to pin my hair back so it looked tidy but it was being stubborn, not wanting to sit in the way I had placed it down. I rummaged through the draws, trying to find anything that could help my cause.

“Ah ha!” I said in success, pulling out a can of hairspray that was discarded in one of the cupboards. I sprayed the piece that kept popping up. I waited for a moment for it to dry fully before removing my hand. I pulled my hand away slowly holding my breath, the hair stayed in its place. I moved on to my makeup, not having much with me, but the nurses I had met in the aid station were nice enough to give me one of their red lipsticks and a mascara. I drag the red tint over my lips, rubbing them together, and then coating the black liquid onto my eyelashes. I stepped back to admire my hard work. Surprisingly enough I looked like a girl. I hadn’t seen her in a while. I grinned happily with the results. I pulled on my heels, I didn’t want to wear them but the outfit would look odd with big clompy combat boots covered in mud. I took one last look in the mirror when someone knocked on the door to my room. “Come in.” I called as I straightened my tie. 

I heard a whistle from behind me, “My, my, my, doesn’t she dress up nice.” I posed for George as he grinned. “Give me a twirl.” I spun around in a circle as he asked. “You look beautiful.” His voice full of honesty. “You don’t look too shabby yourself, soldier.” He clicks his heels together giving me a silly salute. He offers me his arm as we make our way out into the foyer to meet with the other men who are coming with us to the pub. We had decided we would all walk there together since it wasn’t that far away. 

“Oh Y/N who are you all dressed up for, surely it isn’t us.” Lieb said as he admired my outfit. I smiled at him. 

“Maybe I’ll meet a nice guy down at the bar, who knows.” I tease. Someone clears their throat from behind me. I know who it is before I even see them. I turn to see Bull. I gulp. My eyes dragged down his body and back up to his face. I have alway appreciated his looks, I can’t deny he is a good looking guy. But something about him clean shaven in formal attire brings heat to my cheeks. My heart pounds in my chest, no one speaks, as we stare at each other. His soft smile graces his face. 

“You look amazing darling.” He says in his country accent. I have to stop my knees from giving way underneath me. I didn’t know getting a compliment could feel this exhilarating. 

“You look very handsome Bull.” The men awww from behind us in a teasing matter. I laugh feeling exposed. 

“Shall we go?” Bull says to the group, who agree, making their way out the door, “Don’t pay attention to them, they’re just jealous you didn’t tell them they looked handsome.” He placed his hand on the small of my back as we walked together. My breath hitched in my throat. He’s your boss Y/N. I tried to not think about his large hand on my back as we walked. But it was a hard thing to try and ignore, the way my body reacted to his soft touch. The prickle of my skin under his hand was driving me insane. I was trying to listen to the conversation he was having with Luz but all I could focus on was how good his hand felt on my body. Stop it! 

We arrived at the bar, I almost whined in frustration when his hand slipped off my back. I widened my eyes at myself, shocked from the reaction I almost let slip. I smiled at him as he opened the door for me. Why is he so thoughtful, curse his good manners. His mother raised him too well, and it wasn’t in my favour. I joined the men in the booth, we had to squeeze in so that we all fit. I was squished between Babe and Bull. Luz stood in front of the table asking who wanted what, after a while of everyone yelling random drinks he told us to get fucked and that we would all get beers. We laughed as he stormed away to the bar. I shook my head at the man. 

“How you deal with him Y/N, I will never know.” Bull jokes, he leans down closer to my face so that I can hear him over all the noise. The smell of his cigar that he smokes wafts over my face. I had grown accustomed to the smell since being friends with the man. I quite enjoyed the smell now, as I associated it with him. If I smelt the smokey, sweet aroma of the tobacco I knew he wasn’t far behind. 

“Can I try that?” I asked without thinking, he looked shocked, he knew I didn’t smoke. 

“Are you sure darlin’?” He asked, I nodded my head. He passed me the cigar, I put it between my lips. It felt oddly intimate, having my lips on something he had previously had his own lips on. I inhaled the smoke, god it was strong, it burnt my throat on its way down. I coughed and spluttered, the smoke didn’t taste as good as it smelled. I was handed my beer, I chugged it down trying to relieve the burn in my throat. I downed my whole beer in one go. The men around the table watched me in shock. I heard the familiar sound of Bull’s laughter, everyone else joined in, once they knew I was ok. 

“Y/N are you ok?” Bull asked through chuckles. I laughed nodding my head. Someone else passed me their beer, getting up to go and order another one. 

“I don’t think I have seen someone as small as you down a pint that fast.” He said surprised. I don’t think I have ever chugged a drink that fast before, but I needed something to quell the fire in my throat. 

“Thank you!” I grin at him taking the compliment, he smiles at me, his hand coming out to brush a strand of hair behind my ear. In doing so his fingertips drag along my cheek, the tingling returning where he touches. I gazed into his bright blue eyes, fighting the urge to lean forward and press my lips to his. A loud cheer pulled us from our brief moment, Bull removed his hand from my cheek as I leaned back. 

“Yeah I don’t think I’m a smoker.” I coughed trying to clear my throat. “How is your throat not raw?” I asked 

“You get used to it.” He smirks down at me. I laugh nodding my head. I spent the night stuck in the booth pressed to Bull’s side. I didn’t mind, in fact I rather enjoyed it. Being in the corner of the booth we seemed to be in our own little world. I only spoke to him for the majority of the night. 

“Y/N!” George slurred, grabbing my arm and tugging me. “Let’s dance!” I laughed letting my very inebriated friend drag me from my seat and onto the dance floor. I couldn’t stop laughing, George was so drunk he was doing the most outlandish dance moves. I stood in front of him just roaring with laughter. He would grab my hands and spin me around, then he would pause almost throwing up from the spinning. I wiped the tears from my eyes as he drunkenly grinned at me. 

“I think I need to sit down.” He mumbled stumbling away. I laughed watching him go, he crashed down into the booth the Easy men still occupied. I stepped forward to also make my way back to the booth, surely it was nearly time to leave. I was stopped in place, I turned to see who had grabbed my elbow. A man I didn’t know but wore his uniform smiled at me. 

“You look stunning!” He flirted. 

“Thank you.” I expressed my appreciation for the nice compliment. 

“Your friend isn’t a very good dancer.” I laughed at the statement shaking my head, in this state he indeed was a terrible dancer. 

“He is normally better at it when he isn’t so drunk.” I assured the man who still had hold of my elbow, and was standing very close. I took a step back to create some distance but the man followed after me, not giving me the space I wanted. I tried to subtly pull my arm back but even that he had a firm grip on. 

“How about you have a dance with me?” He asks, grinning at me. 

“Oh I would but I think our group is leaving.” I excuse myself politely, but the man doesn’t get the hint. 

“That’s ok I can walk you back after we are finished.” He insists. I glance around, I can’t see any of the Easy men around to ask for help. I give a tight lipped smile to the man.

“That’s very nice of you, but I have to take care of my friend, see he is-” I whimper as the man’s grip on my arm tightens further, his finger’s digging into my skin. He yanks me forward. The smile dropped from his face. “Dance with me.” It isn’t a question or a request, it's a command. I have faced men with guns who want to kill me, but in this moment I don’t think I have been more afraid. People surround us but I can’t seem to ask for help. No one seems to notice how close the man stands to me, how uncomfortable my demeanour is. 

“Can you let go, you're hurting me.” I whispered, too afraid to raise my voice any louder. He didn’t do as I asked, keeping his hold on my arm. 

“The lady asked to be let go!” I heard from behind me, I instantly sighed, Bull’s voice was loud and assertive. I could feel him behind me. I didn’t even have to turn around to know what face he wore. I knew it was his scary one, because the man holding my arm instantly dropped it like it had burnt him and scampered away without another word. 

I rubbed the inside of my elbow, trying to ease the pain from where his fingers dug into my skin. I turned to face Bull. I sent him an appreciative smile, but he didn’t return it. My face dropped, was he mad at me too. But I looked again, no it wasn’t anger on his face, it was concern. His brows furrowed together and his lip drew down at the sides. 

“Thank you Bull.” I stepped forward and hugged the man gently, wrapping my arms around his waist and resting my head on his chest. His arms came around me returning the hug gently. 

“Are you ok?” He asked as we embraced. I nodded, not looking up at him. “If that ever happens again Y/N, you call for me immediately.” He pushed me back so I was looking at his face as he spoke, he looked very serious. 

“You’ll be the first one I call!” I smile at him, he nods finally letting a small smile fall on his lips. “Are we heading back yet? My feet are killing me.” I was ready to go home and crash, I looked over Bull’s shoulder. Easy men looked like they were getting ready to leave. Poor George was slung over Perco's shoulder, barely able to stand. I watched as his eyes rolled to the back of his head, as Frank almost fell over from the man not helping at all. Perco hit him in the side, muttering things to him, I’m sure he was cursing him for being so drunk. Bull turned his attention onto what I was watching too. I stood close as we people watched, laughing together when Perco tried to start walking and George stayed in place. 

“Do you think we should help them?” I asked, still laughing but feeling bad for Frank. 

“Yeah. I think Frank is going to murder George, look at him he looks so mad.” Bull and I chuckled. It was so funny to watch. We made our way over, I draped Luz’s free arm around my shoulder as Perco thanked me. 

We walked in the cool night air. Perco and I just basically dragged the very inebriated George home. His head hung low, and his eyes were closed but he made some effort to try and walk. It was hard work. 

“God George you’re so fucking heavy!” I puffed, readjusting his arm around my shoulder. If my feet were killing me before, now they are dead. Stupid heels. Bull followed beside me. The Easy men who weren’t so drunk had walked ahead of us because we were so slow, but Bull stayed behind to keep us company while we walked Luz home.

Bull and I took Luz up to his room. We placed him down on the bed, Bull took off his jacket while I pulled off his boots. I almost yanked him off the bed, his boots were on so tight. I pull his left boot as Bull undoes his tie, leaning his head back on the pillow. 

“You got it?” He asked after he was finished, watching me struggling. 

“Almost.” I said through gritted teeth. I gave it a good tug, it came loose sending me flying back onto the floor. I burst out laughing, Bull joining in. I smile wryly at him. We tucked Luz into bed, leaving a glass of water on his nightstand for if he needed. 

Bull walked me back to my room. I walked inside, but he stayed outside. I kicked off my shoes, happy to have them off my feet. I turned grinning at the man, he leaned in the doorway just watching me with a smile. 

“Thank you again for helping me tonight. But I also wanted to thank you for the rest of the night as well. I had so much fun, I’m glad you came.” I walked so we were closer, he was still propped up in the doorway looking down at me. 

“I had fun too, I’m glad you asked me to come.” We just smiled at each other, not saying anything. The tension was palpable. I realised that I didn’t want to impress him because he was my boss. I had secretly known that months ago, it was an excuse to hide my true feelings. My true feelings were that I liked this man, more than I have ever liked anyone in my life. No one else has made me feel the things that Bull does. All he needs to do is smile at me and I melt. George was right, I am smitten. I looked at him, did he like me the way I did? Maybe I should see? I stepped forward, we were almost touching. I could feel the warmth from his body radiating off of him. I waited testing the waters, I didn’t want to pounce on him. He held my eye contact, the smile falling from his lips. It was as if gravity was pulling us together, like two magnets. I was so close to his face, we jumped back when we heard a door slam down the hall. He cleared his throat standing straight. The moment had passed, I stepped back. 

“Darling, if you need anything, come get me.” He said as he tapped my chin.

“Goodnight darling.” He smiled at me as he closed my door, leaving me standing in the middle of the room. I stared at the door, willing it to open, for him to come back in, but it didn’t happen. I heard his footsteps retreat down the hall. He was too polite to come barging back in like I had wanted. I sighed getting ready for bed.

[iredreamer]

How did you start watching GJ? I heard the name and my dad (of all people) watched the first two episodes so I asked him if it was any good. He said ‘it’s alright, you’d like it because you like all that feminist stuff’ and I was like, feminist stuff? Absolutely! So I watched the first episode, fell in love with Anne as soon as she stepped off that carriage and fell in LOVE with it.

hey :) well, well, well, what an interesting question :D I remember watching the trailer for it here on tumblr when it came out (the trailer) and I loved it so much I knew that I was gonna like the series. I had read in the past some stuff about Anne Lister and I was so happy and intrigued that a show about her was gonna come out that I noted down the date of the premiere. The day after the first episode came out on HBO I downloaded it and watched it straight away. I instantly loved it. I loved it so much that I started giffing it right away, I was already obsessed after just the first ep (the first gifset I made was of Anne looking into the camera). And that’s it...

I think this is probably the only show I started watching when it actually started airing and I honestly think it was destiny even if the fact that I had to wait one week for each episode was... excruciating ahaha

I love the story of how you found out about the show by the way

[professor-tammi]

in non-FE3H news:

though I’ve yet to see the first episode, I’m VERY excited for the BBC/HBO His Dark Materials adaption!! it’s been my favorite book series since I was a child (and, frankly, too young to properly understand what much of the content was about ahaha), and it has one of the most fascinating fantasy worlds I’ve ever seen no contest. I’m thrilled it’s been received positively so far!

also just in case I have followers who haven’t heard of HDM: like the idea of fantasy with an unconventional setting and a female protagonist whose greatest asset is her skill at lying? children defying their toxic or distant parents? travel between parallel universes? people’s souls manifesting as animal companions? scandinavian witches? gay angels? people rising up against God? if so, you’ll probably love it

I was in a bit of a Marie-Antoinette mood recently, having visited the Palace of Versailles not long ago, so I decided I’d watch a movie on her life and ended up going with a perhaps somewhat unusual pick in Farewell, My Queen: it stars Marie-Antoinette’s reader, Sidonie, rather than Marie-Antoinette herself, following her doomed longing for her Queen (who in turn is in love with her close friend Gabrielle de Polignac in this adaption, inspired by the historical rumors surrounding their relationship). it’s not a movie with any message in particular to impart to its viewers, but it does a fantastic job of portraying daily life at Versailles, Sidonie’s somber, one-sided love and concern for her Queen, and, of course, Marie-Antoinette herself (charming yet flawed as she is; she steals the show despite not being the protagonist here!). if you’re in the mood for a historical movie with F/F content, I’d recommend it! (that said, don’t expect a happy ending...)

there’s just one more week left until Sword/Shield release and expect me to disappear for a bit at that point because if there’s anything I care more about in life than FE, it’s Pokémon :D;

[qqueenofhades]

I know you dont watch GoT anymore. And that Braime and Sansa are your favorites. But I know you've read the books and are obviously really interested in the story. And I was just wondering what your thoughts are on the whole Jon killing Dany thing? Is that something you can see happening in the books? And if it is do you think it'd be in the same context as the show did it?

Ahaha, welp. Just jumping right in there.

(Also, you never have to apologise for asking GOT/ASOIAF questions. I obviously have been a fan for 16 years and wrote fuckin’ TNR with its half-million-plus words, so I clearly do have Thoughts on the story/characters, especially with the bag of lukewarm cat vomit that was s8 of the show.)

I already answered this ask discussing how much I hated the Mad Queen Dany thing, both because a) it was horrifically badly handled and b) these mediocre misogynist douchegobblers have managed to outdo themselves in terms of the gross messages they’ve sent about women, after 8 seasons of that. (These are the same people who made Sansa say that she was grateful for her rapes and who claimed that Dany’s turn into madness was foreshadowed by her having a “chilly” reaction to the death of her abuser, Viserys, in s1, so…. make of that what you will.) I’m not saying that it was narratively impossible, especially since GRRM has been toying with the same thing in the books and has more than his own share of Male Author Syndrome. But at the start of 8x04, Dany is in Winterfell, perfectly sane, toasting Arya as hero of the battle. By the end of 8x06, she’s crazy, a war criminal, and dead, murdered by her boyfriend, because… well, something something plot reasons. Even if you didn’t like Dany or were rooting for her to go mad or whatever, that was wildly badly handled.

I personally think it would be pretty gross for GRRM to also go down the Mad Queen route, though at least if he does, we will have had Dany’s POV chapters beforehand and presumably something resembling a justification and a building narrative momentum toward it. But she also got stuck in Meereen for so long because by his own admission he didn’t know what to do with her there or how to get her out of the situation and moved onto Westeros, which remains, theoretically, her outstanding goal in the books. It would obviously not be outside the realm of possibility for this to happen, given GRRM’s focus on “grittiness” that the show took to max factor 5000. I would still find it reductive and trying to make a Clever Postmodern Point and etc if it happened in the books, because literally why invest us in a character this long, especially one who has tried so hard to overcome the circumstances of her past/to not be her father, and then just do exactly that? Obviously there would be elements of Shakespearean tragedy to it, and if done well it could be compelling, but I personally just have a different approach to fiction and what people want out of a story (especially one now as famous as GOT/ASOIAF and how universally betrayed everyone seems to feel by the ending). I’m not saying Dany’s ultimate ending needs to be sunshine and roses and getting what she wants, because often character arcs and resolutions become all the more powerful for being subverted and thwarted (think the “I said I wanted [x] but [y] was there instead” sort of endings). But whatever it is, it needs to be…. not that.

Also, Jon in both books and especially show has been the epitome of Mediocre White Man. I stopped watching in s4, but Kit Harington’s acting was so wooden and the writing for him was very much Standard Misunderstood Brooding Fantasy Hero that I could barely pay attention to his scenes. I find him somewhat more interesting in the books, though ADWD dragged for everyone and it was obvious GRRM was writing in circles. But everyone has noticed that especially in the show, Jon does absolutely bupkis. His ass is constantly saved by the women in his life, he makes an absolute hash of any power that he is given and doesn’t want it anyway, and his ultimate ending was…. going back to the Night’s Watch (as their idea of satisfying narrative storytelling is to literally put everyone back where they were in the very first episode, apparently). Never mind the fact that there’s no need for the Night’s Watch, but the point is, even the fact that Jon is Rhaegar and Lyanna’s son ended up being relevant for like half an episode. That has been one of the major plot points/secrets of the books (although not so much anymore) and it just…. fizzled out like a damp squib. Dany actually TRIED for multiple seasons to be a good ruler and to learn how to handle power and become a queen, so for her to have to be the one to die for Jon to once again do diddlysquat is… well, as I have said before, the misogyny leaps out. They ended up wasting so much potential and so many other things that were also foreshadowed (and far more convincingly than “wah wah she was gonna go evil!”). For this? So Jon can just go brood in the snow again? Cool.

Not to mention, I find it gross on principle that Dany’s boyfriend had to be the one to kill her, especially after rape/sexual violence/loss of agency was such a big part of her early-season storylines (and how horrifyingly and grossly that has been handled on the show overall). We’re obviously supposed to sympathize with Jon in this scenario and to feel that it is justified to “stop a tyrant” or whatever. Also, if the episode was going to be called “Queenslayer,” why the fuck wasn’t it Jaime fulfilling the valonqar prophecy, another thing they forgot about, and killing Cersei, at great personal grief/cost, to once more stop an insane monarch from burning down King’s Landing? But that, of course, would be actual character development/overall arc, and they preferred to also trash that by having Jaime “killed Aerys Targaryen literally to save half a million innocent people and lived with his reputation being destroyed ever after” Lannister unironically claim that he never cared about the lives of the innocent and only wanted Cersei. After she again tried to kill him and Tyrion like three days ago, not even to mention what they did to Brienne and with that whole arc, but I will have a ragestroke if I think about it too much. 

Basically, the ending wasn’t “bittersweet.” It was tragic, reductionist, ham-handed, hugely disappointing for everyone who put years of investment into these characters, and ended up in the amusing position of making Bran Stark the younger and more beautiful queen who comes to cast Cersei down. He became king because… reasons? Whatever? And he knows literally everything about everyone thanks to being the Three-Eyed Raven, so there’s no way that can go horribly wrong. He has basically done nothing except sit in a wheelchair and look creepy for several years now, his arc has never been remotely about being king, and Isaac Hempstead-Wright himself is apparently on record as saying he genuinely thought it was a joke script when he read it. This after both Emilia Clarke and Kit Harington broke down over learning what happened to their characters/Kit apparently realized it for the first time at the read-through and was horrified. Emilia already talked about wandering for five hours and having a crisis and calling her mom and asking to be talked off the ledge like….. fictional choices/characters completely aside, that’s a gross thing to do to your actors. I know they’re all proud of their work and they have apparently and understandably been defensive about the existence of the petition to rewrite s8, but they’ve all been pretty clear, while still being professional and supportive, that there is stuff that they’re just as much WTF about as we are.

Basically, as everyone keeps saying, the acting, cinematography, visual effects, music, etc was clearly up to as high a standard as ever, but was betrayed fundamentally and comprehensively by this god-awfully shit writing by a couple of hacks who clearly rushed the final season to get on to ruining working on Star Wars. They have also been on record about saying “you can’t do what the audience expects or it’ll get boring blah blah blah,” which is a profoundly flawed storytelling strategy if you’re paranoid and trying to outsmart your audience and do something that nobody has ever thought of because you’re an Intellectual Postmodern Commentator On Our Violent Society. If your audience can guess where a story is going, but are still surprised by major twists along the way that then make sense in hindsight, you’ve done your job. If you’re relying on grimdark and cramming in gimmicky plot twists and deus ex machinas and Shocking Moments rather than authentically developing your story, it’s going to bite you in the ass in a big way, as was just proven. 

Nobody expected a completely happy ending from GoT. But the fact that they went to such lengths, especially in s8, to build up characters/ships (Jonerys, Braime, Gendrya were all torched after major canon moments completely unexpected by fans, especially the latter two – why even include it unless to just be more Tragique, and Gendrya is the only one that has even a chance in the future since half of it didn’t end up idiotically dead) and then just wrecked all of it…. as I’ve said, good endings don’t need to be rainbows and unicorns and kittens. But if you’ve asked eight years of audience investment, there has to be something that makes it worth it and that doesn’t make everyone feel like they were duped and stupid to get involved in the first place. They have been beating the “it’s a hard world and bad things happen to the characters” drum for all they’re worth, but… it’s just bad. You can analyse and ask why the hell they did things and so forth, but it’s bad. At this rate, the show should have either ended after 8x03, or they should have taken the money HBO offered and done the proper 10 episodes and let Bryan Cogman write all of them. He was the only one who appeared to remotely give a shit about the characters, and since D&D wrote the last four episodes themselves, yeah, this disaster is on them.

Fortunately, I left the show years ago and have TNR and am used to ignoring their version of things. And I knew all along that they never really got the characters or the story. But I feel really bad for everyone who has had this thrown back in their face, and it seems like a communal disenchantment with this ending is going to enter the pop-culture consciousness on a possibly unprecedented level. So if GRRM does do the Mad Queen Dany killed by Jon in the books (though he has apparently called the show’s ending “traumatic”), I’ll probably still not like it. He has a chance to sell me it on/justify it to me narratively, which the show categorically failed to do. I don’t think I will, just because as I said, I don’t like anything about it, but yes.

Anyway. This is a long post already, and I probably have more to say still, but it’s pretty obvious I think it’s just really, really bad, and that’s about the essence of it.

[hmfffigures]

Your taste in music seems so wide. Much more than mine for sure, but I like it 🤘. What about TV though any recommendations on shows? So I can Netflix and chill, but I mean it literally 😄. All major streaming services are accessible to me. Id recommend mind hunter on Netflix. 1st season is a little better than the 2nd. 'Til its over - Anderson Paak

Loved mindhunter!!

Okay so Succession and True Detective season 1 on HBO. Ugh right now on netflix I'm watching the Aaron Hernandez docuseries 💔 buuutttt let's see. Oh! recently I started Marvelous Mrs Masiel on prime and it's pretty good dude ahahah, it surprised me ahaha. Try it out

I love this question ahaha

What shows are you into?

And tonight I'm listening to the Stranger in the Alps album by Phoebe Bridgers