#and so much caramel drizzle you cannot see the cup

[maddogmp3]

i loove assigning characters a coffee shop order. its my favorite headcanon.

[lou-struck]

A Filthy Pumpkin Drink

Izuku Midoriya x reader

Flufftober Day 1- Seasonal Drinks

WC: 1.3k

~Izuku has an awkward little slip of the tongue when he is ordering you a refill of your seasonal beverage.

~ BOO! Happy First Day of Flufftober (or whenever you choose to read this) you guys!!!

There aren't many things cozier than spending a rainy fall afternoon under the warm string lights of a. The heavenly smells of cinnamon and nutmeg dance through the air, helping numb the minds of those who object to the summer's end. 

Although the leaves of the cutie's well-maintained oak trees have long since changed to brilliant shades of carmine and amber, Izuku's brilliant green eyes still shine like springtime as he sits across from you with a tired smile. Having just gotten off of patrol, your pro-hero boyfriend's usually fluffy hair sits damp against his forehead, darkened from the rainfall as he warms himself in your presence.

As much as you adore him, it's a rarity for you to spend your lunches together. So today is a wonderful surprise. Since he managed to apprehend the villain he was tailing earlier, and got to slip away for an early lunch and meet you at your favorite café so you can try yet another one of the drinks from their locally famous seasonal drink menu. 

Today's drink of choice is a Dirty Pumpkin Pie chai. The sweet, pumpkin pie cold foam goes so well with the spiced chai that you find yourself considering getting another one. The added caffeine may give you enough sparkle to make it through the rest of your beige-colored workday.

"How is your drink, y/n?" your ever-curious boyfriend asks, eyeing your caramel-drizzled cup with interest.

You wipe a bit of cold foam from your lip with a little paper napkin and hold it out to him. "See for yourself, Zuku; it may be the best one yet."

He takes a sip carefully tasting each component of a drink. Can tell from the way his eyes light up that he's a fan. "Oh wow, it's not what I thought it would taste like at all. The tea itself isn't sweet, but when it layers with the foamy stuff, it's really good." 

"I know, right? I would definitely order it again once I try the other drinks on the menu," you smile, taking your cup back from him and enjoying another sip, only to realize that you accidentally brushed your hand against some caramel residue that dripped down the side of your cup.

"I'd like it too," he says, taking a gulp from his own drink, a blended protein shake that doesn't do much for his energy levels but will help his muscles recover from his grueling early morning patrol while he works through a mountain of paperwork. But when he spots another patron walk by your little table with a fresh, toasted sandwich from the display case, his eyes follow them out the door, filled with hungry longing.

"That looks really good," he mumbles quietly. His analytical gaze already dissecting the sandwich's components. You can tell he wants it, but he has always needed a little push to treat himself.

That's where you come in…

"You know, I think I'm going to get a refill to go." You say to the freckled man across from you; you rattle your nearly empty cup for effect. "Sit tight; I'll just head to the bathroom and order you a sandwich before you have to go back to work." 

Izuku, the king of acts of service, simply cannot stand by as you, the love of his life, go and buy himself another coffee when he hasn't gotten the chance to spoil you today. "Uhh, no worries, I'll take care of it." he pouts, pulling his wallet out of the pocket of his Uravity sweatshirt so quickly, you swear he just activated his quirk.

"Are you sure?" you ask, sensing that Izuku isn't going to back down from this. But as you look down at the sticky patch on your hands, you realize that you are far more interested in washing them than fighting a losing battle.

"Of course," he nods determinedly, "What was the name of the drink that you ordered again?"

You shoot him a grin, knowing just how to fluster the man. "I got a dirty Pumpkin Pie Chai."

His eyes widen and he shyly shifts in his seat. "D-do I really have to order it like that?"

You coyly cock your head to the side. "Like what?"

"Say that it's, you know..." he looks around nervously and lowers his voice so only you can hear it. "dirty."

"I mean, that's what it is," you say gently; of course, there are other ways to order a shot of espresso in your drink, but it is so much more fun to lovingly tease him. "But if you are uncomfortable asking for a dirty little drink, I can just order it myself." you tease, watching as his features go from nervous to determined.

"No, I got it," he says, standing abruptly. Without another word, you watch as your sweet boyfriend marches over to the line, ready to order you your drink at the small cost of his dignity.

~

It only took you a minute or so to wash your hands, but you got distracted by the cafe's interesting bathroom wall decor. But when you come back, you see Izuku stepping up to the cash register to order your drink. Sneakily, you creep over to him, just in case he needs help remembering your order. 

"Hey there, what can I get for you?"  the barista with lemon-slice eyes and vine-like hair asks, greeting him with a practiced customer service smile.

"Hi there, may I please get that sandwich?" he asks, extending his scarred hand and pointing to the expertly wrapped katsu sandwich in the display case. 

"Is there anything else you would like?"

"Actually, yes." He says softly. His brows furrow as he glances up at the menu as if he is trying to remember what drink you want. He may not be able to see you from where he is standing, but he can certainly see the ever-growing line behind him. 

You can tell he is feeling the pressure; just as you are about to step in and help him out, he opens his mouth once again. "May I please get one of those… uhh, filthy pumpkin drinks, please?"

"I'm sorry?" the barista's eyes widen in shock and they look at your boyfriend like he has three heads. "Could you repeat that?"

"Oh, that wasn't quite right was it?"  he mumbles, his freckled face turning beet red as he tries to remember what the name of your drink was. 

You hold in your laughter and decide to come to his rescue. You come behind him and grab his arm with a soft smile. "That was a good try, Zuku, but I think I'll take it from here." He visibly relaxes as you give your order to the bewildered barista, who definitely does not get paid enough to have grown men asking for filthy pumpkin drinks.

"Ohh, so that's what you meant," she laughs as your boyfriend swipes his card." I really had no idea what you were talking about."

You put another bill in the tip jar and walk back over to your little table to wait for your order to be brought to you. Izuku sits embarrassedly in his seat and pulls his hood up a bit more to hide himself from the world. 

"I can't believe I did that," he sighs, toying with his empty smoothie cup. "I wanna curl up in a ball and die."

You look at the literal superhero across from you and comfortingly pat his arm. "Oh, don't be like that, Izuku; it really wasn't that bad. I'm sure it happens all the time to other people."

"R-really?" he asks. "Well, if you don't mind, could you not tell anyone? I'd hate to think of how Kacchan and the others would react if they found out about my slip-up today." 

"I promise," you say, leaning in to whisper into the shell of his ear. "Consider it our filthy little secret."

Tagging: @pixelcafe-network @ambiguouslady42

[thatmadhatter]

How to Order at Starbucks

This was supposed to be a reply to someone who asked for help ordering at Starbucks. But it’s way too long for a reply, so I’ve done a whole ass post.

I know how overwhelming ordering at Starbucks can be, partially because there are so many menu items. I'm gonna break down the menu a bit and then walk through how to order step by step. Any questions, don't hesitate to ask! I was a barista for over 3 years, as well as a supervisor, and I am a teacher, so I very genuinely don't mind explaining drinks or anything.

Drink Menu Breakdown:

Sizes:

Hot drinks come in 4 sizes.

Short= 8oz, which is teeny tiny.

Tall= 12oz AKA Small.

Grande= 16oz AKA Medium.

Venti= 20 oz AKA Large.

Cold drinks come in

Tall= 12oz aka Small.

Grande=16oz AKA Medium.

Venti=24oz AKA Large.

And *SOME* cold drinks can also be a Trenta=30oz AKA Extra Large. The drinks that can come in Trenta are refreshers, cold brew, iced coffee, and iced teas. Frappuchinos and espresso drinks (think an iced latte or iced americano) cannot come in a trenta.

Core Drinks (these should be carried year round at all locations.)

Latte - Espresso and milk. This can be made hot or iced and with or without flavor.  This can also be made decaf. A very common drink is a vanilla latte. I love a good caramel latte myself

Americano - Espresso and water. This can also be made hot or iced. You can add milk or flavor to your hearts content to jazz it up if you want. This can also be made decaf. I love an iced blonde americano on a day where I need an extra kick.

Cappuccino - Espresso, milk, and milk foam. Typically this is a hot only drink, however last year Starbucks started doing iced cappuccino’s. Personally I never liked them. A cappuccino can be made ‘wet’ which means with less foam, or ‘dry’ which means made with more foam. There is no such thing as a cappuccino with no foam, that is a latte. This can be made decaf.

Caramel Macchiato - Classic Starbucks drink, can be made hot or iced. This can also be made decaf. Vanilla syrup, milk, espresso, and caramel drizzle.

Iced Coffee - Only comes iced. The barista should ask if you want this sweetened. It automatically comes with sweetener, which is called classic syrup. You can substitute any flavor you want in this though. This is made using a special blend of coffee that is brewed and then poured over ice. This cannot be made decaf.

Cold Brew - Only comes iced. This is made using a 20 hour steeping process, which is why it has a smoother, stronger flavor. That’s also why it’s a little more expensive and why when a store runs out, they’re often out for the rest of the day. This cannot be made decaf.

Frappuccino - Only comes blended/iced. These come in all sorts of flavors and colors. They can also be made with or without caffeine. If you ever want a caffeine free Frappuccino, just ask for a *flavor* Creme Frappuccino.

Refreshers - Only comes iced. They’re basically caffeinated fruity drinks, similar to an energy drink. You may have heard of the “Pink Drink” which is a strawberry refresher made with coconut milk. I’m allergic to coconut milk, so I can’t speak as to if it’s good or not, but I know it’s very popular. This cannot be made decaf.

Hot chocolate: Mocha, Vanilla, and Milk! Can only be made hot. You can also order a white hot chocolate, which is made with white mocha instead of the regular mocha. This is caffeine free.

Hot Coffee- If you come in the early to mid morning, a barista may ask you what roast of coffee you want. There are three options, blonde, Pike (aka Medium) or dark. Blonde is the most caffeinated, and will have a very mild flavor. Pike is the standard coffee every Starbucks carries at all times. Dark will be an intense coffee flavor, usually leaning more towards the bitter and very full bodied taste.

Cafe Misto: Also called a cafe au lait. Typically this is only made hot, it’s half coffee and half steamed milk.

Chai Latte: Chai concentrate and milk. Can be made hot or iced. Cannot be made decaf. 

Green Tea Latte: Matcha and Milk. Can be made hot or iced. Cannot be made decaf. I personally don’t care for the iced version as the matcha doesn’t mix super well with cold liquid, but a lot of people do like it.

Iced Teas: There are 4 core iced teas, Black, Green, White, and Passion. The Passion tea is the only one without caffeine, but there isn’t much in the white tea. They can all be made with or without lemonade. The barista should ask if you want this sweetened. It automatically comes with sweetener, which is called liquid cane sugar.

Modifications:

One overwhelming part of Starbucks is the sheer number of ways a drink can be modified. You’ve seen that already with just the drink breakdown. This further breaks down some ways drinks can be modified.

Hot or Iced

Espresso Modification: Drinks that are made with espresso can be made 1 of 3 ways. With the signature espresso, which is the default of most espresso drinks. You don’t need to specify this. Blonde espresso, which has a little more caffeine but a milder flavor. Or Decaf espresso, which contains no caffeine. You can also vary the number of shots in a drink. If you ask for more shots, the drink will be more expensive.

Flavor: There are many many flavor options. The core flavors are - Vanilla, Caramel, Mocha, White Mocha, Hazelnut, Toffee Nut, Peppermint, Raspberry, Sugar Free Vanilla, and Sugar Free Mocha. Then there are whatever seasonal syrups are available, which can vary depending on stocks and the time of year. You can also vary the number of pumps in a drink if you want. There is no charge for extra pumps of syrup if the syrup is already in the drink. Most drinks will have a surcharge for additional syrups though.

Milk: The milk options are skim, 2%, whole, half and half (aka cream), whipping cream, soy, coconut, almond, and Starbucks is in the process of doing oat milk as well. In a drink where milk is the main ingredient, such as a latte, there will be a charge for an alternative milk such as soy. However there isn’t a charge for skim, 2%, or whole. When a drink comes with milk, unless otherwise specified, it will automatically be made with 2%.

How to Order at Starbucks

There are three different methods to ordering at Starbucks. I’ll break each of them down.

Drive Through: There’s often a line. You’ll get in line and pull up to a speaker box. Typically the barista will greet you with something like B: “Thank you for choosing Starbucks. What can I get started for you?” Y: “Hi, can I get a *hot or iced* *size* *name of drink* with *any modifications* The barista will either repeat your drink back to you, or ask if you want anything else. You can add more drinks or food, or let them know that is all. The barista will usually give you a total and have you proceed forward. At the window, you’ll pay for your items. You can pay with cash, card, or the mobile app (which we’ll get to). The barista in the window will sometimes still be waiting for your drinks/good to be made. Try to be friendly and patient, odds are they’ve been yelled at several times already. They’ll hand you your items and away you’ll go!

Cafe Store: This is where you walk into a Starbucks. You’ll get in line at the register, try to figure out what you want before you get to the register, or at least have it down to between two or three things. If you’re ever stuck between two things, ask your barista which one they would order. This is a much better question than asking them what their favorite drink is or what they think you should get. Once you get to the register… B: “Thank you for choosing Starbucks. What can I get started for you?” Y: “Hi, can I get a *hot or iced* *size* *name of drink* with *any modifications* B: That’s a *repeats drink back to you* Anything else? Y: No thank you. B: Great. Can I get a name for your order? Y: Yes, *name* You can give your name, or you can give a fun name. I like saying Iron Man or something silly on occasion. Most of the time baristas will be amused by this, we see a million Jessicas everyday. But usually only 1 Spiderman. B: Okay, *name* your total is  *total* You can then pay with your card, cash, or mobile app. It’s usually pretty clear where the handoff plane is, but sometimes a barista will direct you towards it. You can go hangout near the handoff plane, but please don’t stand directly in front of it or sit on it. If the store is busy, odds are there are drinks in front of you, and standing directly in front of the counter will make it hard for others to get their drinks. After a few minutes, a different barista will call out *drink* for *name*, which you can go pick-up. I recommend checking the sticker on the side of the cup to check that it is your drink. Then you get to be on your way!

Finally we have “the app” or mobile ordering. If you have social anxiety, this is a great way to avoid having to talk to someone while you order. You can download the Starbucks app and do it all from your phone. After downloading the app, just tap ‘order’ which is the middle button in the center of the screen. At the bottom of the screen there will be a line that says “pick up at *insert store name here*” double check that you’re ordering to the correct store. Then you can browse the menu to your hearts content and add items to your order. Just make sure you press “checkout” when you’re ready, and that you get the little screen that says “your order will be ready in X-X minutes” Then you can either go through the drive through, and when you get to the speaker say “Mobile order for *name*” or you can walk into the store and go straight to the handoff plane where there will be a little area that says “mobile orders”. Just look for your order, check the name and drink on the sticker on the side, and hooray! Please keep in mind when mobile ordering to do so at least 5 minutes before you actually get to the store. Or be willing to hangout for a few minutes in the store before it is ready. I have a store that’s 7 minutes away on my morning commute, so I’ll usually submit my order right before I leave the house so it’s ready for me when I get there.

I hope this is helpful! If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to ask. I promise, I have heard them all. Also, everything here may not apply in full to ‘we proudly serve’ locations, such as a Barnes and Noble Cafe or to Target Starbucks (also called Tarbucks)

Also I did not touch on the seasonal drinks at all here because they literally change every 2-3 months. The seasonal drinks will be things like the Pumpkin Spice, Butterscotch, Smores, etc... If you want to know what’s in season when you order, just look for a sign. Starbucks releases new signs often which will advertise whatever is in season at the time. You can also ask your barista! 

[spatulainmypocket]

Silky smooth homemade Salted Caramel Sauce that uses only 4 ingredients and is ready in 10 minutes!

So rich. So smooth. So creamy.

This is my go to recipe for Salted Caramel Sauce with all the tips and tricks to get it right every single time!

No thermometers, no fancy equipment needed. Just four basic ingredients and a whole lotta patience.

Lets go!

HOW TO MAKE SALTED CARAMEL SAUCE

To make the salted caramel, add granulated sugar to a heavy bottom saucepan over medium heat. Use a wooden spoon to stir to prevent the sugar from burning. The sugar will slowly start to melt and brown.

Once the sugar has completely melted, it will start to change color quite rapidly. As soon as its turns golden amber, carefully add butter to the sauce pan. Once the butter has melted, slowly pour in the cream. There may be some splashing due to the difference in temperature. Let the caramel simmer for a minute. Remove the caramel from heat and add the salt. This part is always a bit subjective. If you prefer regular sweet caramel to the salted variety add in about ¼ of a teaspoon to start, while for salted, I start with ½ a teaspoon and then adjust from there until I get the flavor I like. You can always add more salt but you cannot take away if you add too much!

Leave the caramel to cool down to room temperature. The caramel will continue to thicken. Pour cooled caramel into a jar and store in the fridge. The salted caramel will thicken as it cools, so just zap it in the microwave before using if you want it a little more ‘drizzle’ consistency.

The trick with making caramel sauce is in cooking the sugar just right.

The darker the sugar gets, the more intense caramel flavor your sauce will have. Too light and your sauce will be pale in color and taste like straight sugar. Too dark and your sauce will have a bitter taste that will ruin everything.

So as soon as the sugar reaches that picture perfect caramel shade, add the butter, immediately followed by the cream.

Below are some more tips to make the perfect salted caramel sauce every single time.

TIPS FOR THE PERFECT SALTED CARAMEL SAUCE:

Use a heavy bottom and tall pan. Stainless steel works better than a nonstick pan because you’ll need to see the color of the mixture.

I do not recommend making any substitutions to this recipe. For example, do not substitute granulated sugar with icing sugar nor brown sugar. It just won’t work.

Take care not to add the cream to the sugar prematurely. If you do, the result will be more like sweetened condensed milk.

Make sure all your ingredients are ready to go when you start making the sauce.

Always keep an eye on it because the caramel knows when you’re not looking and will burn as revenge.

USES FOR SALTED CARAMEL SAUCE

Once you have a batch of salted caramel on hand, you will want to drizzle it over everything! Over brownies and apple pie bars, over waffles and pancakes.

You can use it as a filling in cakes and cupcakes, or make salted caramel frosting. You can add a dollop to your coffee or you can eat it by the spoonful…

The options are endless!

Salted Caramel Sauce

Yields: 1 cup

Ingredients:

·         1 cup (200g) granulated sugar

·         6 Tbsp (90g) salted butter, room temperature cut up into small pieces

·         1/2 cup (120ml) cream

·         1/2 to 1 tsp salt

Directions:

Heat sugar in a medium saucepan over medium heat, stirring constantly with a rubber spatula or wooden spoon. Sugar will start to clump together and after about 5 minutes it will melt completely into a thick amber liquid. Be careful not to let the sugar burn.

Once you get the right color, immediately add in the pats of butter. Mixture will bubble up.

Stir the butter into the caramel until it is completely melted.

Slowly pour in the cream while stirring. There will be more bubbling and splattering in this step so again, be careful.

Allow the mixture to boil for 1 minute.

Remove from heat and stir in the salt. Let the sauce cool in the saucepan before transferring to a jar to store in the fridge. Caramel solidifies in the fridge. Reheat in the microwave or on the stove to desired consistency.

Notes:

Covered tightly, this sauce lasts in the fridge for up to 1 month, and up to 3 months in the freezer. Thaw in the refrigerator or at room temperature, and then warm up before using.

Adjust salt according to taste.

Recipe adapted from allrecipes

Salted Caramel Sauce Silky smooth homemade Salted Caramel Sauce that uses only 4 ingredients and is ready in 10 minutes!

[skeletorific]

Less Muscle Than a Frown- A Bones and Brew Commission Fic

Whew, this has been a long time coming! I wrote this piece for @frankpanioncube who has been so completely generous and patient with me in all of this!

If any of you are interested in commissioneng me, feel free to DM me.

Also, light disclaimer: I do get into this a little bit, but I want to make it clear now, I’m doing my best to avoid the “girl not smiling? must be a bitch we need to fix this” trope. So I will get it out of the way that while my commissioner did request female pronouns, this story would have been the same for he/him and they/them. 

They didn’t know what to make of her.

They’d had customers who weren’t into their schtick before. Coffee shops inevitably got a lot of one-time customers just looking for a caffeine fix on their way through life. Some people weren’t into the energy they had going in the shop. Which was usually fine. Unless they were assholes. Then it was less fine.

But she wasn’t a one-time customer. She was in pretty much every morning, the same thing ordered every time, around the same time every day. She didn’t seem to dislike any of them. But she was just so...

“Stone-cold” Stretch mused, watching her as she walked out the door.

“PAPY, BE NICE.”  Blue chided absently, working on a frappucino.

“Can’t help it, bro.” He made a show of shuddering, lazy grin on his face as he leaned back against the counter. The cafe was closing in a couple minutes for their weekly staff meeting, leaving them to chat freely. “Did you see the look on her face when I tried joking with her again? Like talking to a mannequin. Couldn’t even tell if she got it. No smile, nothin.”

“be fair, maybe that’s cause it was one of your jokes,” Rus said quietly, smirking.

Stretch tossed a dishrag at him.

“PERHAPS SHE’S SIMPLY HAVING A BAD DAY,” Papyrus said. He was mopping across the room but the skeleton had sharp ears (metaphorically) for gossip.

“Talkin about the ice queen?” Sans said from the corner table. “She must be havin a bad day a lot then. I mean, has anyone here seen her smile?”

.....

Silence.

“Eeeexactly.”

“WELL, NOT EVERYONE IS NATURALLY EXPRESSIVE.” Papyrus insisted.

“SHE KEEPS HERSELF IN CHECK. I CAN RESPECT THAT.” Black mused.

“I mean, not that I don’t appreciate the merit of keepin your shit to yourself, but honestly, I can’t get a handle on her.” Red was picking his teeth with a toothpick. “Almost like she doesn’t like us or something”

“IF SHE DIDN’T LIKE US, WOULDN’T SHE STOP COMING?” Blue said.

“Maybe she just likes the coffee.”

“MAYBE ALL OF YOU DON’T HAVE ENOUGH TO DO SINCE YOU’RE SPENDING TIME THINKING ABOUT THIS.” Edge grumbled, coming out of the office finally. Stretch and Rus exchanged an eye roll.

“c’mon, boss, you can’t pretend you’re not a little curious.”

“I AM DECIDEDLY NOT.”

“I bet I could crack her.” Stretch said.

“Pfft, how much.” Rus said.

“20 g.”

“man, you must really like giving me your money.”

“alright, why don’t we make this interesting then. if you crack her first I’ll give you 40.”

Rus smirked. “You sure you wanna make this a contest?” He crossed his arms.

“CONTEST?” Black said, eyelights brightening as he straightened up a bit. Blue acted like he wasn’t listening but it was pretty obvious his attention had perked up too.

“Yeah, hot topic, you want in?”

Rus shot Stretch a warning look but Black hardly seemed to notice the editorial. “HMM...WELL, I HAVE LESS TIME WITH HER THAN THE REST OF YOU...BUT I MAKE UP FOR IT BY HAVING ACTUAL CHARM, SO WHY NOT.”

“COME ON,” Papyrus said, frowning slightly. “IT'S NOT REALLY ANY OF OUR BUSINESS. IF SHE’S NOT SMILING, IT'S BECAUSE SHE DOESN’T FEEL LIKE IT. IT'S NOT OUR PLACE TO FORCE IT OUT OF HER.”

“Hey, no one’s forcin anythin” Red said. “If she don’t want to, she just won’t.”

“That mean you’re in?”

“Yeah, sure. Could use the cash. Plus....she’s kinda hot.” He grinned wolfishly.

“Pfft, figures.” Sans said. Red shoved his shoulder.

“Shuddup, you in or not.”

“Yeeeah why not.” Sans caught the disapproving look from his brother and shrugged, smiling somewhat apologetically. “Sorry, bro. Just lookin to mess with these nutjobs. Besides, it's not like we’re really hurtin anyone. Could do her some good even.”

Papyrus sighed. “IT JUST...FEELS INTRUSIVE.”

“How bout you, bro,” Stretch said, noting his brother was feigning far more interest in piling whipped cream on his drink than was necessary.

“WELL....” He was mulling it over, clearly empathizing with Papyrus’ sentiment but also chronically unable to avoid a contest of any kind. “....I SUPPOSE SMILING IS GOOD FOR YOU. AND REALLY, THE ONLY THING WE’LL BE DOING IS TRYING TO MAKE HER HAPPY OR LAUGH, RIGHT?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“...OK. IF ONLY TO KEEP ALL OF YOU IN CHECK.” blue said sternly.

Stretch grinned. “Of course bro.”

Black muttered something under his breath that sounded vaguely challenging.

“how bout you, boss?” Red said. “You in-”

“I CANNOT IMAGINE A BIGGER WASTE OF TIME’ Edge said, flipping through a binder that held records of the store’s financials. “NOW CAN YOU ALL STOP TALKING NONSENSE SO WE CAN GET THIS MEETING UNDERWAY?”

The contest began in earnest the next day. Rus, moving quickly, managed to maneuver himself into the cashier spot before the others even noticed her come in.

“Hey, sugar, how you doin?” He said, drawling in a slightly lower tone.

The woman didn’t so much as blink. “Medium double shot macchiato-”

“-with soy milk and a caramel drizzle.” He finished smoothly. “I remember.”

She seemed slightly taken aback. “Um....yes. Please.”

Good, he’d thrown her off balance. Now to hit with the big guns. He punched it into the cash register and looked up without moving his heads, hitting her with a 1000 watt grin. This thing was a force to be reckoned with. People behind her in line were already getting visibly flustered.

“That’ll be $4.65, darlin” He was practically purring it out, already mentally counting his gold...

A crumpled five dollar bill was shoved in his hand without so much an eye twitch. “Keep the change. Thank you” And she was gone.

Rus was left frozen in place. What the...

“U-um..I’ll have you-...uh!!” stammered the (very red-faced) gentleman who was next in line. “I mean....”

Stretch chuckled to himself as he started making the drink. Cocky bastard really did think he was hot shit with that. Still, seemed she wasn’t into his brand of flirting. Now, for an old standby...he subtly rolled his shoulder while he worked until he heard a familiar pop that made every one of his coworkers wince and glare at him.

“Double shot macchiato, soy, and caramel?” He said, pretending to scan the store like he didn’t know right where she was.

She stepped forward, holding her hand out. “Thanks.”

“Eh no problem.” He held the coffee out but didn’t hand it off properly.

She raised an eyebrow. “Um...”

“Go on and take it, all ready for ya.” He said with an innocent smile.

.....

She reached over and took it....pulling his arm off his body as she took it.

A couple of people in the shop yelped. She didn’t seem to have a reaction, just staring at the detached limb wrapped firmly around her cup of coffee.

“Ah, sorry about that.” He reached over and pried it off, fighting a grin. “Guess I was disarmed by your sunshiney presence.”

Nothing.

“Might have to hit the pharmacy for this” He said, examining the arm.

.....

“....Nah, guess with a little elbow grease I can get this to work.” He rolled up his sleeve. Come on, come on, that delayed laugh...

“Doesn’t that hurt?”

“...what?”

“Popping your arm out like that.”

“...no....not really...”

“Hm.” She nodded and walked off.

Rus burst out laughing once she left.

Stretch tossed his arm at him.

The next day Blue and Black decided to team up. Blue waited until he saw her car pull in and immediately wheeled out the mop bucket, starting to drench the floor in a way that would have made Edge rave about warping the floor if he had been there. He put up a wet floor sign while Black positioned himself so he could catch her once she inevitably slipped.

Blue did his best to keep his eye on his work, but he couldn’t help but hold his breath in anticipation as she walked past the storefront windows. The bell rang over the door as she entered, and Black tensed himself to pounce...

Squish squish squish. “Double shot macchiato, soy milk with caramel drizzle please.”

....No-slip shoes.

Black was cursing mentally, looking around the room for something to slide. Maybe if he got it under her feet-

“w-WOAH-”

He saw the figure sliding towards him out of the corner of his eye and before he could react he found himself knocked down. Another one of their regulars, who was bright red as they struggled to pull themselves off him. Coffee had drenched his shirt, and by the time Blue had helped the two of them to their feet he was soaked through. His tackler was apologizing profusely but Blue ushered them off before Black could realize his favorite leather jacket had probably just been ruined. The purple-toned skeleton was cursing to himself when he came back and stripping his upper clothes.

“I-I’m really sorry, there wasn’t a sign so I didn’t realize-”

“ITS QUITE ALRIGHT” he assured. Wait, no sign? Blue and Black’s heads snapped towards their brothers, who were hiding grins. Stretch was shifting something further behind the counter. Black looked downright murderous.

“WHY DON’T YOU GO ASK THEM TO REPLACE YOUR COFFEE. ON THE HOUSE.” Blue said quickly, nudging them in the direction of the counter while grabbing the mop and moving to distract Black.

“WELL...BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME?”

“THIS. MEANS. WAR.”

Next day the Fell and Tale brothers were on staff.

Papyrus and Edge continued to show no interest in the competition, Edge displaying visible irritation every time the subject came up and Papyrus lecturing the other four for nearly an hour about safety hazards after he found out about the mop stunt.

As for the other two...

“You wanna know what their problem was?” Red said, giving the counter a half-assed wipe. “goin practical. Stunts. Gags. too many movin parts means more chance that somethin’s gonna go wrong”

“True enough.” Sans said distractedly. He was currently more focused on stacking cups into a pyramid. Slow day.

“Now me, just gonna rely on the natural charm”

“Oh, then you’re for sure gonna lose.”

“Shut up man”

“Didn’t Rus already try flirting?”

“Rus tried smilin. Cocky bastard think’s that’s all it takes.”

“Since when are you Suzie social skills.”

“since 40 g was on the line. Now shut up, here she comes.”

Here she came indeed. The ice queen cometh. Red’s eyelights lit on the bass guitar strapped across her back.

Perfect.

“The usual, please,” she said, handing over her card.

“Comin right up, doll.” He punched it in and swiped the card. “So, you play that thing?”

“What?” She seemed to suddenly remember what she was carrying. “Oh, yeah. Guitar too.”

“You in a band, or...”

She shrugged. “Sometimes. I uh...also do a little background work for some local studios. If they need it. Its kind of free-lance I guess?”

This was the most he’d heard her talk in a while. No smile yet, but...He could feel Sans watching him from the machine and smirked slightly.

“So you’re good then. Professional.” He leaned forward on the counter.

“I um...like to think so, yes.”

“Y’know, Paps has been talking about trying to do an open mic night around here. you should come. Show me whatcha got.” He grinned.

“My music isn’t exactly open mic friendly. It's...a lot of death metal.”

....woah. Hot.

“That’s cool. Like, the screaming kind.”

“A little bit...”

“Here’s your order” Sans cut across him, shoving the coffee in between them and startling them both.

Red shot him a glare.

“Oh. Thanks.” She took it and turned to walk away.

Red suddenly caught a glimpse of a familiar pink shape on the ground. Oh shit, how the-

“Wait-”

PBBBBBBBTTTTT

She jumped, nearly spilling her coffee and looking down at the ground. A whoopee cushion.

Sans was losing his shit next to him.

She shook her head and continued walking.

PBT-PBT-PBT-PBT

Oh gods oh gods oh gODS- Sans’ eye was lit up blue with magic, pushing the cushion under her feet again and again with every step. She picked up the pace, practically running out of the store, which only added to the surreal hilariousness of the situation.

Red tackled Sans to the ground but by then it was too late and she was out the door. Sans was practically crying with laughter, gasping for air.

“I!! Hate!!! You!!!!” he said, shaking him by his shirt.

“Cmon, like you wouldn’t have done it if you’d thought of it.” Sans said, wrestling out of his grip

Red pulled him back into a headlock. “I was really fuckin close, dude!!!”

“Owowowow ok ok I give.”

He was about to refuse but then saw Edge glaring at him from the office. Red sighed and turned him loose, still fuming.

“Hey, cmon.”

“Asshole.”

“.....wanna do it to the next customer....”

“......yeah”

It was a long day for Edge.

The tactics only grew more and more ridiculous with each passing day. Rus seemed absolutely undone by the failure of his charms and suddenly was laser focusing his flirtation, much to the jealousy of his other customers. Stretch managed to negotiate a truce with Blue and Black and the practical jokes rose to a near dangerous degree. Red kept trying to resume the conversation but Sans ran interference every time. He seemed to have given up on attempting to win the bet and was instead focused on ruining for everyone else.

It was bedlam in the coffee shop whenever she came in. Edge tried to act as a restraint on it, but he couldn’t be on staff every minute of the day.

And still, nothing.

No response. Even kinder gestures seemed ill-fated. Blue tried leaving nice notes on her cup and the ink simply smeared on her hand. Black snuck flowers into her car only to see her a moment later trying to shoo several large bees out of her car. Pastries? Allergies. Red tried changing the playlist for a few days to death metal but had to turn it off after the sound was so loud that customers were forced to scream at them to communicate their orders.

If anything she grew more and more closed off with each passing day. She became jumpy whenever they got near and had taken to examining every drink they handed over for little extras (blame Rus for that one, he dumped some chocolates into her drink and they nearly choked her.)

All of them were there that day. Another staff meeting was due, they were just finishing up the last of it. She came in, ordered her drink, and then went to the bathroom. Papyrus, as had been his won't lately whenever he was on staff and she showed up, made a point to get between them and her whenever possible. He took her order with his usual friendliness and then went to make her drink.

“SHE’S BEEN DOING THAT A LOT THIS LAST WEEK” Black noted.

“what?” Sans asked.

“IT'S LIKE CLOCKWORK. SHE ORDERS, SHE GOES TO THE BATHROOM FOR A FEW MINUTES, AND THEN COMES OUT AND TAKES IT IN A HURRY.”

“.....huh.”

“Could mean nothing.” Stretch said quickly.

“....OR SHE COULD BE HIDING.” Blue said quietly.

“Uh...what? Bro, come on, why would she be hiding.”

“IF SHE’S HIDING, SHE’S HIDING FROM ALL OF YOU.”

Heads turned in the cafe. None of them but Sans had heard Papyrus sound that fed up with anything but the Annoying Dog.

“Pfft, what, she allergic to politeness now,” Rus said. His ego had never really recovered from his flirtation being so utterly ignored.

“ALL OF YOU HAVE BEEN INCREDIBLY OVERBEARING.” he was mixing furiously, a slight glare on his face like the machine had personally offended him. “ALL SHE WANTS TO DO IS MIND HER OWN BUSINESS AND GET SOME COFFEE, BUT INSTEAD THE SIX OF YOU HAVE SPENT THE PAST MONTH HARASSING HER JUST BECAUSE YOU DON’T THINK SHE SMILES ENOUGH.”

“...I mean, when you put it like that, uh...” Stretch tried for an awkward chuckle. “Sounds a bit-”

“CREEPY? UNKIND? OVER-THE-LINE?”

“WE DIDN’T MEAN ANY HARM!” Blue said, looking slightly upset as the realization hit him.

“IT DOESN’T CHANGE THE FACT THAT IT WASN’T A VERY GOOD THING TO DO. WE’RE HER BARISTAS, NOT HER MOTHER. OUR JOB IS TO MAKE OUR CUSTOMERS COMFORTABLE AND YOU-” He was squeezing the cup to tight and it popped out of his hand, hitting the wall and splashing everywhere. “SARD!!!”

“bro, we-”

He went to the back of the store to get a cleaning rag (and a new cup), looking visibly irritated.

“....shit.”

“I mean....just cause he read it like that, doesn’t mean she did...” Red said, scrambling for an excuse.

“Nah....nah he’s right.” Stretch said after a minute. “Went too far for a joke that...honestly wasn’t that funny.”

“I CAN.....ADMIT THAT I WOULDN’T APPRECIATE IT. IF SOMEONE DID IT TO ME.” Black said reluctantly.

“So what do we do now?” Rus said.

“WE SHOULD APOLOGIZE.”

“I’ll do it.” Stretch said. “I started this bet so...I’ll apologize.”

“Think free coffee for a week or so will make it up?” Rus said.

“I’ll talk to boss about it,” Red said. “But...he’ll probably go for it. If for nothin else than to get us to quit.”

She came out from the bathroom and seemed slightly let down that her coffee wasn’t there waiting. She stood near the exit, looking slightly uncomfortable and checking her phone over and over.

Stretch sighed and went over. “Uh...hey.”

She looked up, dread filling her eyes.

“Its fine, I just...wanted to talk.”

“U-um..actually I have this call I need to make. Can it wait?”

“....sure.”

She walked outside, lifting her phone to her ear. She kept walking towards the parking lot.

Stretch sighed. Shit...

“WAIT, DID SHE LEAVE?!” Papyrus had emerged, looking alarmed.

“uh...I think so...”

“SHE ALREADY PAID!” He was moving like a whirlwind, knocking several things out of his way in his efforts to get the drink brewed. The others were forced to back away from the growing typhoon of activity.

“Wait, bro-”

He finished it, faster than should be technically possible, and bolted out the door.

They didn’t see him for nearly an hour, by which time business had picked up and none of them had the free time to ask him what happened. He didn’t mention it again, and all of them forgot it had even happened until the next day.

She came in the next morning around her usual time. Stretch was running counter and managed to detail out an apology that sounded surprisingly sincere. No mean feat for Stretch. Her expression didn’t change much, but she seemed to untense a bit and was mostly gracious about it. She accepted the apology and tried to waive the chance for free coffee until Stretch insisted. She didn’t smile. But she seemed...pleased.

Rus started making her drink. Papyrus emerged from the kitchen with a pan full of fresh lemon bread.

“OH, WELCOME BACK! IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.”

She turned. “Oh, it's you!”

And her face split into the most breathtaking smile.

Rus damn near dropped the cup. Stretch’s eyelights briefly sputtered and it took genuine effort to stop his jaw from literally dropping.

“THE AUDITION WENT OK?”

“Yeah, thanks for making sure I  got the caffeine. Can’t believe I almost walked away without it.” Her eyes were bright and expressive and holy shit, it was real, it was real and hAPPENING IN FRONT OF THEM-

Somehow Rus managed to hand her her drink without incident.

“I should go. Bye Papyrus”

“GOODBYE! HAVE A GOOD DAY!”

She gave him another smile...and was out the door.

“Wha...” Stretch turned on Papyrus “how-?!”

He shrugged and disappeared back into the kitchen.

“.....how even-”

“Do we still have to pay him?!”

“I don’t think-...the bet was canceled right?!”

And Papyrus only smiled to himself.

[lukerhill]

Delicious Mountain Dew apple dumplings

This apple dumpling recipe is made with Mountain Dew and is absolutely delicious!

Yes, these apple dumplings have odd ingredient that made me pause the first time I made them. Soda? Won't they get all mushy and gross and taste like...soda?

But I went with it and I'm so glad I did! How can something so simple and easy taste so good?

SO. GOOD.

These sweet dumplings take about ten minutes to prepare and 40 or so minutes to bake. 

Here's what you'll need to double the recipe for a larger group. This option makes 16 apple dumplings:

Easy Mountain Dew apple dumplings (16)

Two Granny Smith apples 

Cinnamon (as much as you'd like) 

Two packages crescent rolls 

One tsp vanilla 

3/4 cup sugar

3/4 cup brown sugar

Two sticks unsalted butter, melted (just do it) 

Twelve ounces Mountain Dew

I rarely make that many dumplings (mostly because I know I'd eat them all). 

So I prefer to half the recipe as follows: 

Halved Mountain Dew apple dumplings (8)

One Granny Smith apple

Cinnamon

Dash of vanilla 

1/4 + two tbsp (or six tbsp) sugar

1/4 + two tbsp (or six tbsp) brown sugar

One stick unsalted butter, melted

Six ounces Mountain Dew 

(see below for more info on the soda amount)

To start, preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Peel and slice your apple(s). 

I peel first and then slice using this apple slicer/corer that makes cutting the apple into sections super easy:

You'll have eight perfectly cut slices for your eight crescent rolls. 

Lay out your crescent rolls and wrap your apple slices:  

I add the cinnamon before rolling them up. 

Wrap them up well and place in a 8x8 or 9x13 dish: 

Either size pan works -- you may want to adjust the amount of soda you use for each size. I'll share more on that in a bit. 

I close up the ends of the dumplings so the apples are completely covered. 

Mix the sugar, brown sugar, (melted) butter and vanilla in a separate bowl. 

It will look like thin applesauce: 

This part is where I think I made these even more spectacular, on accident years ago. ;) 

We didn't have enough sugar the first time I made this recipe, so I figured brown sugar would work as well. I used half brown sugar/half sugar instead of all sugar like the original recipe called for. 

I think that little change makes these extra AMAZING.

Spoon your applesauce sugar mixture over the dumplings: 

Did I mention these aren't the most appetizing before baking? Push on my friends. 

Finally, pour the Mountain Dew into the pan around the apples: 

You can pour it all over or around -- I prefer to pour it into the pan to ensure a browned, crispy top on the crescents rolls.   

When I use this smaller 8x8 pan I don't use quite half of the Mountain Dew. Just enough to cover the bottom of the pan. If you're using a larger dish, you can add more as it will take more to cover the bottom. 

Bake the dumplings in a 350 degree oven for 35-50 minutes. I know that's a wide window, but it will all depend on your oven and how crispy you want them to be. 

I bake them closer to 50 minutes. If you want them extra crispy on top, I recommend doing the same: 

Just keep an eye on them towards the end!

I doubted these when I first saw them out of the oven -- they looked like they would be total mush all the way through.

But I persevered.

And added some ice cream:

Vanilla ice cream really should be an additional ingredient. It's almost mandatory. :) 

They are SO GOOD. I cannot express the deliciousness of these easy apple dumplings. 

The best of both worlds...the bottom is mushy, the apple is tender:

And the top is crispy and flaky!

You will not be disappointed! YUM. 

I may have eaten a couple for lunch today. 

Variations on these delicious apple dumplings... 

If you don't have Mountain Dew, any clear citrus clear soda will work! Sprite or Squirt should taste just as good. 

Drizzle caramel or sprinkle powdered sugar on top for a little extra somethin'.

I hear peaches are just as delicious in this recipe!

Many of my readers overseas don't have crescent rolls -- you can use a puff pastry or any refrigerated dough. 

Go get some apples and brown sugar and make them immediately. You can thank me by sending a few our way. 😁

Have you tried these easy apple dumplings yet? Any other easy dessert recipes I can’t live one more day without?

Pin this one for later with this image!: 

This content is property of Thrifty Decor Chick LLC. If you are reading this on any other site other than https://ift.tt/1kRxOJ2 or one of her social media platforms, please contact her immediately (thriftydecorchick at gmail dot com). Any other use of this content is strictly forbidden.

[lottaereminheadcanons]

I stayed up until four in the morning to write these but hEY MERRY CHRISTMAS.  These are meant as a present for @sammytabby but of course anyone can enjoy them <3

Eren and Armin always buy a real tree.  They tried one of those cut your own tree type places once but it was cold and uncomfortable laying on the ground trying to reach under the tree so they left and never did that again.  So they would go to some place with pre-cut trees and buy the absolute biggest one that’d still fit in their living room.  Once they get it all set in their living room they throw on tons of pretty lights and silver tinsel.  Of course, there’s tons of ornaments (Eren always orders tons of custom made couples ornaments) and it takes them hours to perfectly arrange all the ornaments and candy canes on all the branches perfectly.  Finally, Eren always lifts up Armin on his shoulders so he can put the star on the tree because that’s the best and final part and then they’ll just stand back and admire the tree.  Armin always ends up beaming and giggling because of how nice their tree is and he needs to cuddle with Eren to calm down.

They decorate the entire house with red and silver tinsel too.  It’s festive and nice.

There’s always a huge mess of pine needles and little tiny strands of tinsel stuff(?) everywhere and it takes half the night to clean up.  But once the carpet is clean, they’ll put the red circular rug thing under the tree and then after turning all the lights off in the living room lay on their back with their head resting on the rug and just hold hands and look up.  The mere sight of the lights shining in what’s like a magic forest of pine branches is so beautiful and mesmerizing and romantic.  Often times Eren and Armin will do this for hours even and Armin will end up laying his head on Eren’s chest as they look up and ends up falling asleep.  (I HIGHLY RECOMMEND YOU ACTUALLY DO THIS AT HOME.  I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH.  IT’S SO FREAKIN’ PRETTY)

They love baking Christmas cookies and decorating them together.  Of course there’s always a huge mess.  Eren ends up eating so much frosting and sprinkles so his face ends up looking like a very messy cookie itself.

Luckily, there’s always snow on Christmas morning where Eren and Armin live and they love having fun in it.  They’ll run out in the morning and spend some time in their yard running around eating snow and making snow angels and making very inaccurate snowmen versions of each other.  They love to go sledding together too and once they go down the hill Eren hauls the sled back up (with Armin with it) because Armin gets exhausted so easily.  Otherwise he’d collapse halfway up the hill and just lay there eating snow.  Also, one time Eren steered their sled over a little bump so it got a little air and Armin never got over that trauma.  Sometimes when they go home they’ll build huge snow forts together and then have massive snowball fights and it’s fun.  Usually fun.  One time Eren accidentally got too into their snow war and accidentally threw a snowball at Armin’s face.  He held and kissed Armin’s tears away and took him inside and pampered him with stories by the fire and hot chocolate until he fell asleep.  Armin forgave him of course.

A favorite snack of theirs is getting two styrofoam cups and filling them with clean snow from outside.  Then they get chocolate syrup and caramel syrup from the fridge and Eren puts the chocolate syrup on his and Armin always has the caramel and they just eat their little homemade snack together.  (Please try this at home)

They still leave out milk and cookies for Santa on Christmas Eve but since (spoiler alert) no one actually breaks into their house at night to eat them, Mikasa always just has it for breakfast since she wakes up super early.  Eren and Armin love making a big deal out of it.

They never have what you’d call a traditional Christmas dinner but they’ll maybe have something fancier than usual.  Probably just ham and mashed potatoes, but that’s about it.  They’re still drained from Thanksgiving.  Making huge meals is really draining.

They love going out on a date to do winter-exclusive activities.  They love cross-country skiing and ice skating, even they suck at both.  All that matters is they get to fail at it together.  They love going out for coffee or hot chocolate sometimes too, though they prefer to make it at home.

So Eren and Armin love going through those drive through Christmas light displays (Armin’s favorite part is the tunnel of lights that’s usually at the end) They’ll always wait for hours in the car in the long line and Eren will slowly drive them through while they both admire the lights.  Armin usually will want to see the lights on the left side of the car so he’ll lean over Eren.  Of course his body kind of blocks Eren’s view but he doesn’t complain because he has something even better to look at ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Eren and Armin are so used to waking up on Christmas morning together (Including Mikasa, they all take turns waking up at night and putting the presents they got under the tree), so when Eren wakes up on Christmas and Armin isn’t there he freaks out a little.  Luckily he gets up and finds Armin… but he’s awkwardly laying under the tree (with a little tag on him saying “for Eren”).  Eren asks what the h*ck he’s doing and Armin awkwardly wiggles his eyebrows before covering is face and standing up to run off just muttering about how stupid his idea was.

They spoil each other so much.  Of course, with presents but they also hand make gifts for each other (stuff like food, art, or even clothes if either of them can figure out how to sew) and Armin also loves like singing for Eren or just doing anything for him and Eren loves to take Armin places as a present.

Eren makes the most aesthetic hot chocolate ever.  He boils the milk on a stove and uses dark chocolate hot cocoa powder to mix it with, then lightly drizzles melted dark chocolate into it and mixes that in.  Then he dumps on tons of marshmallows and puts whipped cream on that, and the whipped chream gets sprinkled with crushed dark chocolate chunks and peppermint candy canes.  Do finish it all off he puts in a peppermint candy cane stick.  He and Armin love drinking these cups of hot chocolate just almost constantly during winter (Always together of course.  Probably on the couch cuddling)  (Y’all should make hot chocolate like this it’s the best)

They’d literally just stock each other’s stuffings with tons of candy and they’d feed it to each other when they cuddle later that evening <3

Armin would constantly be insisting that Die Hard isn’t a Christmas movie but Eren claims it is and they debate about it every winter all winter.  (FYI: it isn’t)

Bonus Christmas headcanon ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): One time Eren tried tying Armin up with tinsel but it was a mess because the tinsel literally snapped almost right away and it leaves a mess of little strands of tinsel stuff(?) all over their bed and it takes forever to clean up.

[leightum]

Things I’ve Learned Working At Starbucks [for 2 months]

the milk is steamed using a wand thats senses the temperature so no your latte is not cold. its precisely 160 degrees.

customers just… take any drink they see and taste it and go “this isnt mine” no shit rebecca i didnt know your name was bob

seriously the second one i had a woman pick up a latte and drink it when she ordered a frappuccino

every single location is understaffed and there are times when our shift lead is counting things and we only have 2 people running the whole store

it doesnt cost more to add extra of whatever comes in your drink (ie a caramel frappuccino can have 1-1000+ pumps of caramel for the same price 

continuing the above, you can switch any syrup for any syrup but not a syrup for a sauce (ie vanilla for white mocha will charge you 60 cents but vanilla for caramel will be free)

the # of shots we can ADD to a drink is 99 (roughly $79) on our computers but it breaks our caffeine standard so we cant serve that

a grande nitro cold brew is 6 shots worth of coffee

people straight up shoot heroin in starbucks bathrooms

people also shave in starbucks bathrooms i have found so many razors

people basically treat our bathrooms like their home

if you dont order something you cannot stay in the store and use our wifi and chairs

whip cream isnt extra but any order of whip cream bigger than a short will be charged as a cup of heavy cream

any drink with frap chips gets a mocha drizzle the rest will cost .60 to add

if you see 3 baristas on bar and your drink isnt being called its because we have over 10 drinks and everyone is trying their best

no one really knows what theyre doing and at best, during a rush, we guess on how to make your special drink

dairy and non dairy products are very much cross contaminated and if you have an allergy dont come to starbucks or ask that everything be resterilized before your drink

our frappuccino chips have gluten in them

not every starbucks sells the same stuff please dont yell at us

the computer system for the mobile app is updated MANUALLY dont yell at me because i ran out of chocolate chip cookies and didnt know because no one comes to starbucks for cookies

no you cannot cut the line of 10 drinks because your boss will yell at you

Everything. Changes. When. Quaza. Comes.

if you touch money you have to wash your hands or u will be yelled at

dont wear your apron in the bathroom even if youre just cleaning it

every pump of syrup is 1 oz

a clover is a very expensive machine. do not tap it. ($30k)

there’s over 170,000 ways to customize a drink

you saw it on the internet? we have a button for it.

there really is a secret frap menu and we have a button for it.

basically every seasonal thing can still be made bc its just 2+ syrups mixed that we made a name up for.

our vanilla sweet cream has like 17 pumps of vanilla in it. so. be warned.

you can buy any bottle of syrup that isnt seasonal

you cant get trenta espresso drinks which is stupid

shift leads arent allowed to be friends with coworkers outside of work

black aprons are for people who are coffee masters

i promise you i know more about coffee than you. (a customer told be green tea was more caffeinated than a bag of chocolate covered espresso beans)

employees arent allowed to take home or eat any expired food (but some still do)(me)

we do have “fresher ones” in the back but theyre for tomorrow so im going to tell you we dont

[recesspizza40-blog]

Healthyish Salted Caramel Turtles

Everyone has strong food memories around holidays or special occasions in their life. I can completely recall the distinct taste of boxed cake from my childhood birthdays. Summer vacations were steeped in melting grape juice popsicles made by my grandmother. And one of my favourite treats during Christmas, was undoubtedly Turtle chocolates. The iconic striped box was always within arms reach during the holidays, so as soon as the tree went up, it was like a Pavlovian response…the Turtle cravings began! If you live outside of North America, you may not be familiar with these pecan-chocolate-caramels (and for this, I feel very sad for you), but today, rejoice! I’m posting my own version, which is a healthier spin on this classic candy that you can whip up yourself with just six simple ingredients.

The original Turtle candies are relatively basic: pecans, caramel, and chocolate, but seemingly so much more than the sum of these parts. There is a magical synergy in this trinity, each ingredient complimenting and highlighting the others in perfect union. There isn’t much to improve upon, so my mission was clearly to health-ify the caramel and find some high-quality chocolate to steer us all away from refined sugar, modified milk ingredients, and emulsifiers. Blech.

I started off on my journey by looking online and found that healthyish Turtle recipes exist, but they all use dates and I didn’t want that to be the predominant flavour. Plus, I knew that the caramel needed some serious creaminess, so I started by blending up cashew butter with vanilla as the base, then added brown rice syrup to achieve that distinctive gooey-ness that makes Turtles so crave-able. The results were sooooo right on the money, confirmed by several of my closest, discerning friends, lined up to taste test.

Pecans are one of my favourite nuts because they are tender-crisp and so naturally sweet. I love them in baked goods like pecan pie, on top of waffles or pancakes, or in candies like these babies!

Pecans are native to North America, and grow in tough, wood-like shells on large, sprawling trees, some of which can live up to 200 years. The name pecan is a Native American word used to describe nuts that require a stone to crack – but you can easily open them by crushing two of their hard shells together.

Along with macadamias, pecans contain the lowest amount of protein (5-10%) and the highest amount of fat (80-95%) of all the nuts. The fat that they do contain however, is mostly monounsaturated, with some polyunsaturated fat as well. Pecans are high in minerals, like manganese, copper, and zinc. They also contain a good amount of fiber and protein.

There are a wide variety of pecans, but if you live outside North America, you may only have access to one type. That’s okay! The thing to look for is shelled pecans that are uniform in size and colour. Check the date on the package or bulk bin, and smell the nuts beforehand if you’re able to – they should be sweet, and well, nutty. If you’re shopping in bulk, visit a shop that has a high turnover to ensure that the nuts are fresh. Once you get them home, store shelled pecans in an airtight container at room temperature for up to six months (although try to eat them sooner) and in the freezer for up to a year. Pecans are highly susceptible to absorbing other smells, so keep them locked up tight in glass to prevent them from tasting like garlic, onions, or last night’s casserole.

I had hesitations about using brown rice syrup in this recipe, since I know it’s one of those harder-to-find ingredients, but it’s just SO perfect in this context that I had to! If you cannot find brown rice syrup, try whipped or creamed honey in its place. I recognize that this isn’t an alternative for vegans, but I think it is the only sweetener that would work due to how thick and viscous it is. If the caramel is too runny, if will be impossible to work with. Trust.

It’s best to store your Turtles in the freezer, and take them out about 10-15 minutes before serving. They’re also fine at room temperature, but will keep better cold. I actually dig them a little on the frozen side – the caramel is extra thick and chewy at subzero temperatures!

    Print recipe    

Healthyish Salted Caramel Turtles Makes 30 candies

Ingredients: 1 cup / 100g raw pecans 400g dark chocolate, 75% or higher (chose organic and fair-trade, if possible) 1/3 cup / 80ml cashew butter (raw or roasted) 1/3 cup / 80ml brown rice syrup 2 tsp. pure vanilla extract ½ tsp. flaky sea salt (I used Maldon), plus a little more for garnish

Directions: 1. Find a baking sheet or tray that will fit in your freezer, then line it with parchment paper.

2. In a medium sized bowl, stir together the cashew butter, rice syrup, vanilla and flaky salt until thoroughly combined. Taste (yum), and adjust the saltiness and vanilla levels to your liking.

3. Scoop a teaspoon of the caramel onto the lined baking sheet, using another spoon to help remove it – this stuff is seriously sticky!

4. Press a whole pecan on one side of the caramel blob, allowing the nut to peek over the edge just a bit, then add two halves to the sides, peeking over the edge just a bit too. Repeat until you’ve used all the caramel. Place in the freezer for at least one hour, up to 24 hours.

5. Once the caramels have chilled, prepare the chocolate. Heat a few inches / centimetres of water in a small pot and heat on high. Roughly chop the chocolate bar into small chunks and place it in a heatproof bowl. Lower the heat to simmer, then set the bowl over the pot of so that it is sitting well above the water itself. Stir occasionally until the chocolate has completely melted.

6. Remove the caramels from the freezer. One at a time, drop each caramel into the melted chocolate pecan side-down, flip and ensure that the top is entirely coated. Remove from the chocolate with a fork, and drag the bottom along the edge of the bowl to remove any excess chocolate. Place back on the lined baking sheet and sprinkle with a couple flakes of salt. Repeat until you’ve coated all the turtles in chocolate. Place them inside the freezer until set, then transfer them to an airtight container and store in the freezer or fridge until ready to serve. If you want to see some of the pecans, drop the caramels on their bottom side first, then remove and place on the lined baking sheet. Drizzle enough chocolate over the top to fully cover the caramel (if you don’t coat it completely, it may spill out at room temperature), but allowing a few parts of the pecans to show through.

This will be my last post before the New Year, my friends! I’m off to Bali in a mere 10 days (!!!) and words cannot describe how excited I am for the Wild Heart High Spirit Retreat, and meeting women from all across the world. If you’d like to know more about my retreats, visit the Golden Circle Retreats website. We’re planning another round for 2019, so sign up to mailing our list to be the first notified when we announce the dates.

We are also taking orders for the Life-Changing Loaf of Bread Subscription Box! What better way to start off the new year than with a delicious monthly gift of health to yourself? If you want to learn more, or place your order, visit the shop page here.

All love from Canada, and happiest of holidays to you and yours!

xo, Sarah B

Source: https://www.mynewroots.org/site/2018/12/healthyish-salted-caramel-turtles/

[chairfreon5-blog]

Banh Mi Salad Keto, Paleo, Whole30

Banh Mi Salad. This is a delicious take on Vietnamese classic sandwich, the Bánh mì. Keto, paleo, Whole30 and gluten-free, this deconstructed take on one of my favorite sandwiches is loaded with flavor, fresh crunchy vegetables and so much color. I cannot wait for you to try this one.

Alright all my keto, paleo, Whole30 pals, you didn’t think I would leave you hanging on this whole Banh Mi thing, did you? I shared my delicious gluten-free Banh Mi Sandwich a few weeks back, as part of a Sammie Smackdown Contest with Canyon Bakehouse, all for a very good cause, but a lot of you, like me, are generally on that grain-free train. I feel ya, I feel better that way, too! But, there’s no reason we can’t get it on these sammie vibes, in our own way. Enter the Banh Mi Salad, my new favorite thing!

I entered my tasty take on this classic Vietnamese sandwich, the Banh Mi, to try to win $10,000 for my charity, Joyful Heart Foundation. Joyful Heart is a leading national organization with a mission to transform society’s response to sexual assault, domestic violence, and child abuse and support survivors’ healing. Through healing, education, and advocacy, they are paving the way for innovative approaches to treating trauma, igniting shifts in the way the public views and responds to these horrific acts of violence and reforming legislation to ensure justice for survivors – and ultimately working to end this violence, forever!

Voting is still open. It remains open until August 20th and you can vote up to 3 times a day for my sandwich, with extra votes coming in if you share on social media and sign up through email to win a years worth of gluten-free bread! Head over to the Sammie Smackdown contest on Canyon Bakehouse’s website and help me by voting EVERY SINGLE DAY until the contest ends on 8/20. It would mean the world to me to win this money for this incredible, privately funded organization, doing such important work. 

In the meantime, if sandwiches and bread aren’t so much your thing, you need to make this epic salad, inspired by that sandwich. All the flavors, tastes and vibes, without the bread. (And yes, I am aware that Banh Mi literally translates to bread, so this becomes an oxymoron of sorts, but I am OK with that.) If you are following a paleo or keto approach to your eating or maybe just doing a Whole30 and looking to have something fun, this salad is for you!!

The quick pickled carrot and daikon are one of my personal favorite parts of this salad, with the amazing fresh crunch, the tang of the vinegar, it’s such a fabulous compliment. The fresh herbs, the cilantro and the mint elevate this to a level that is so unique, it’s fresh and flavorful. For greens, there is no wrong answer, go with what you like. I went with a blend of green leaf lettuce, butter lettuce and watercress, my favorites for salads. You can use romaine, spinach, cabbage, spring mixed baby greens, or whatever you like. Of course the sriracha mayo dressing is a total perfect finishing move and it allows you to control the heat, along with the pepper rings. Finally, don’t skimp on the quality proteins, as always you know I want you getting sustainable, properly raised meats, not only will you taste the difference, but it’s better for you and the earth, too!

Protein Swaps: Here’s the thing, once you have the basic elements of this salad, the various flavors and crunchy veggies, the tasty sriracha dressing – you can switch up  your protein easily and swap in chicken, shrimp or even tofu, if that’s your jam! Use the marinade from the pork belly and coat chicken breasts or chicken thighs and give it a bake/roast, till it’s cooked through and caramelized on the outside. You can also opt for pork loin instead of pork belly. Keep the ham, or skip it. Toss shrimp in that marinade and pan fry it on the stove top. Same with tofu. Boom. Lots of options. If you are strict no sweeteners, leave out the honey in the marinade, it’ll still be amazing. I have made it both ways.

Banh Mi Salad

6 cups of organic greens, of your choosing (I opted for butter lettuce, green leaf lettuce and watercress)

4 pieces thick cut roasted pork belly strips (or thick-cut bacon), cut into bite sized pieces - see below

4 slices freshly sliced, high-quality gluten-free deli ham, cut into thin strips

Pickled Carrot and Daikon - MAKE AHEAD see below

thinly sliced red chiles or jalapeño

cucumber, thinly sliced or cut into matchsticks

fresh cilantro

fresh mint

Sriracha Mayo Dressing - see below

To compose each of your salad, arrange your greens into your serving bowls or plates. To each salad add the roasted pork belly, ham, thinly sliced cucumber and the chiles or jalapeño, if using.

Finish with a heaping spoonful of the pickled carrots and daikon, a generous bunch of the fresh cilantro and fresh mint. Drizzle the sriracha mayo on top. Enjoy!

You can also use romaine, baby spinach, baby kale, spring greens or other lettuces / greens of your choice. It's a personal preference.

Check out above for other protein suggestions

3.5.3229

  Pickled Carrot and Daikon

4 oz carrots - julienned or cut into thin match-like strips

4 oz daikon radish, cut the same way as carrots

2 cups water, slightly warm enough to dissolve the salt and sugar

1 tablespoon sugar (or other sweetener)

1 tablespoon salt

¼ - ⅓ cup* distilled white vinegar or rice vinegar

NOTE: I suggest you start with ¼ cup of vinegar and taste the mixture. If you want it more tangy/vinegary, add more vinegar to taste

In a large bowl, mix the water, sugar, salt and vinegar. Whisk until the sugar and salt are dissolved.

In a clean, glass jar, add the carrots and daikon. Pour the vinegar mixture over until the veggies are completely covered in the liquid.

Cover the jar and place in the refrigerator, at least overnight. The longer it sits the better the flavor. They’ll last up to a few weeks in the fridge.

You can leave out the sugar or sweetener here, if you'd like. It's up to you. I have made this with a couple drops of pure monkfruit, instead of sugar, just to bring a little balance with the sweet, and it was perfect.

3.5.3229

   Roasted Pork Belly

½ lb high-quality properly-raised pork belly, cut into thick-cut bacon like slabs or thick-cut bacon. You want four, approximately 6-inch long strips, around ½-inch thick

1 tablespoon honey

½ teaspoon very finely minced garlic

½ teaspoon very finely minced fresh ginger

1 tablespoon fish sauce

1 tablespoon coconut aminos (GF soy sauce or tamari will also work)

sea salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste

Preheat oven to 400ºF. Line a baking sheet with foil or parchment paper and set an oven-proof rack over the foil. Arrange the bacon in a single layer on the rack.

In a small bowl, whisk together the remaining ingredients. Brush the mixture over the entire surface area of the pork belly or bacon, flip and do the same on the other side.

Bake, rotating the sheet halfway through, until the bacon is brown and shiny, 30 to 40 minutes. Let cool for about 5 minutes, then loosen the slices from the rack with a metal spatula. Continue to cool for another 5 minutes before serving; the bacon will crisp as it cools.

NOTE: cook time will vary based on the thickness of the pork belly or bacon, so best to start checking around 15 to 20 minutes.

You can easily leave off the honey, if you prefer

3.5.3229

  Sriracha Mayo Dressing

¼ cup avocado oil mayonnaise

approx 1 teaspoon sriracha, or to taste (as spicy as you’d like)

1 tablespoon fresh lime or lemon juice

water as needed, to thin to your desired consistency.

Whisk together, until well combined. Set aside. Keep refrigerated until ready to build your sammie.

3.5.3229

  Source: http://tasty-yummies.com/banh-mi-salad-keto-paleo-whole30/