#and so maybe you shoukd ket me fucking acknowledge it and maybe since this is YOUR fucking faukt you shoukd fucking fix it.
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#this is JUST like supernatural#this will get better!#why do people lie to me?#lying to me is illegal#i dont want to be a girl anymore#but i hate being trans so much#like i literally want to die thinking about it#and i still like the option of going back and forth#but i feel so stupid snd restless#i want to just. have a gender. i have a completely not#i wish i could trust the people around me. i literally feel like i can trust anyone#and my brain says i need to try and i know i need to try but i dont want to. i want this to all disappear i want to be free. i want#people to stop denying that this is fucking hard. i know i have a goid life i have food and a place to sleep and a pretty house and clothes#and im so thankful ive always been fucking thankful#ive been thankful my entire fucking life i was never allowed to be anything but thankful#and so maybe you shoukd ket me fucking acknowledge it and maybe since this is YOUR fucking faukt you shoukd fucking fix it.#do fucking SOMETHING other than tey and make me feel fucking worse#other than telling me im not worth anything but i guess its fucking working#i could beg on my hands and knees#i could beg for hours and hours and you would never change#you would always choose to keep me here and#you would keep him in your life because he has money#and you keep him in your life because you cant stand to believe her#and you cant stand the fact that you may have hurt me when youve actually known#and your actions that make the least sense#and i made it funny. i just wanted it to be funny#so i made the joke on m#e#i just want to be comfortable and i am there are so many people who have ot worse#i dont understand why im crying
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