#and so many of your peers were having problems because ofc those ''problem'' kids were typically severely traumatized

[lith-myathar]

.

[centrally-unplanned]

Just got reminded of this! Yeah I actually do disagree with this though there is something to it - people generally aren't being granular with their data. The US higher income rates translates out into a ton of actual, real differences. The US has higher homeowner rates, (way) larger houses, higher car ownership, better home appliances, more clothes, etc etc. We are so wealthy we can even afford to have ice in our drinks, its crazy.

People will try to pivot these things as "not improving lives much" but I find that to be a moving goalpost; its an economic measurement, its about producing goods, this is where it is relevant. Having air conditioning matters; being way more able to fly to far lands is emotionally enriching; having a large house gives you space for hobbies and projects or personal rooms for your two kids. It does the things you expect money to do very often - even the 25th percentile income in the US have more material flexibility than their peers in Europe. The lesser US welfare state really only kicks in at the very bottom, the top 80% of people in the US are better off than Europeans on living standards. And the US does have a lot of welfare, actually - a lot of our poverty figures you see floating around are before government transfers. They have problems, but they fix things too. The US had the most generous covid relief payments in 2020 by a country mile; we could do that because we were wealthy enough to afford it.

Some of this comes from selecting things like the housing crises in big urban metropoles; which is true and a real problem, but uh I have news for you about housing prices in London! In the end most people don't live in NYC, its a real problem but NYC is also very rich, many people live there and have high material living standards. Others are more serious - medicine in the US is bonkers, we spend 2x what Europe spends and get equivalent outcomes. However, while some of this is definitely broken policy and things like doctor cartels, the lions share is that the US *consumes more medicine* than Europe does. The US has over twice as many surgeries per year than Europe, for example. The reality is that you can't buy health, but sick people with money want to try anyway, so rich Americans throw money at the system and it obliges. There is a lot more to it than that ofc but at its core this just isn't an area where "more economy" fixes the problem.

Other problems get a lot darker, but fall into that same bucket. The American opioid epidemic is not, at all, a problem of "this is what happens when you are poor", not because economics is unrelated to it but because the poor exist in their billions everywhere, but most of them aren't addicts. Our high crime rates are the same thing - extremely few crimes come from some sense of economic desperation, and the carceral state of America ruins the lives of hundreds of thousands due to a dysfunction unrelated to Baumol's Cost Disease. America is substantially richer than Europe or Japan; it just also has a sicker population, and its own share of awful cultural and institutional dysfunctions. I don't believe those are overly correlated; Switzerland is just as rich with none of the issues. Europe could just Do Better on economics, like America could Do Better on things like crime. There is no reason to pretend the US isn't wealthy - and a good deal to lose from that illusion. Many countries have truly batshit economic policies, making themselves poorer for extremely foolish reasons. In these categories they absolutely should be more like America.

One of the horrible things about the prosperity of the United States is that they've managed to make the cost of living so high that their incredibly high levels of wealth only really show up on the periphery of people's lives.

Americans earn stupendous amounts of absolute money but you can only tell because they have the ability to spend money on things that don't actually improve their lives very much, often because they don't have another choice.

People's claims about the failure of the United States online are often overblown yelling that exaggerate the size of the genuinely bad situation faced by the most vulnerable people, but by GDP per capita you'd really expect the United States to be a much better place to live.

[asukaskerian]

monthly wordcound - september

TOTAL: 6 722 words. POSTED -Days on a wire chapter 7 - Madatobiizu fraternat poyamory ABO (4 013 words) IN PROGRESS -bleach suburban ot4 (1 161 words) -bleach grimmichi superheroes (1 548 words) hmrmrm. lowish wordcount BUT, lots of editing happened in there, so that's still writing work.

also family stuyff stole my last weekend è_é -- teasers thataway (only bleach ofc)

superheroes AU -- "Oh hey, a hollow." "--What?" The girl leaned over his feet, squinted through the glass. "I thought it was a cat at first, but, so many legs." Grimmjow watched it shuffle under a car and out the other side. Mmh. Nowhere near big enough to break into the house. Safe. "Probably ate a cat, yeah." She grimaced. "Ugh." Like it's a surprise that a hollow would be hungry. They weren't named that for nothing. "Probably gonna eat more." "Ugh! Be right back, I'm gonna catch it." --Huh. "And do what?" he asked, baffled. "Keep it for Zangetsu's lunch?" "Gross! No, I'm gonna put it in a crate and call Animal Control, they do hollows when they're that small, right? Dad? It doesn't need a hero team, right?" Engetsu came, wiping his hands on an apron, to squint through the glass with them. Grimmjow gathered his legs, watching him warily. He didn't track the small hollow. He could feel it, barely there, at the end of his range; it would break everything it used for teeth on his armor. Engetsu felt like he'd be more of a problem. "Probably not," the man allowed. The hollow skittered up a garbage bin, peered in, didn't deign to climb in. "Okay, then, Animal Control." "Or you could save them some time and kill it yourself." The look she gave him, her sour, suspicious face so shocked -- "... Did you think they did anything but put them down? They're hollows." It had never made sense to him that humans would bother to care for dogs and cats, even those that ended up on their own in the street, but at least they were tameable, if you were into that. He stared back, letting her see his bafflement. Her face fell. "I thought they had, like, wildlife preserves...?" Even as he barked out a laugh he knew it was the wrong response and she wouldn't like it, but he couldn't help it. "Oh my fucking god." "What!" "Putting a bunch of hollows together in a space they can't escape where their only choice for food is each other." Engetsu winced. Curtains looked betrayed. -- suburban ot4 -- "Looks like your kids were right about your harem, Ichigo!" "His what?" Grimmjow demands, eyes glittering in delight. "Oh, I have got to hear this." "Oh nooo," Orihime whimpers again, face in her hands, and Ichigo knows her, and it looks like embarrassment, and it is embarrassment -- it's embarrassment because she thought about it and liked it. But Nel doesn't know that and is generally nice, so she relents, goes "Sorry, honey, is it too much?" in a gentler voice, and Ichigo's wife (still whimpering) walks back down the stairs with Kazui still dripping merrily in her arms and goes to slump forehead-first against Nel's shoulder. "Not too much," Orihime mumbles, face scarlet and eyes still scrunched closed against Nelliel's exposed shoulder, half-hidden by cascading waves of teal hair. "I just, um, sultan Ichigo." All of Grimmjow's teeth are out, but he doesn't laugh, just grins so wide Ichigo wishes he would and get it over with. "Ooookay, honey, let's discuss cosplay some other day. Let's get this miscreant in the shower before he pees again, yeah?" he cuts in, and -- Almost -- Almost leaves it like that, retreats with her up the stairs, almost follows without saying anything more past this polite 'that was funny but let's drop it', because it's such a dangerous thing to joke about. But Nelliel and her boyfriend have the exact same way of waggling their eyebrows and leering smugly, and that cannot be borne. "I'm sure we can find Grimmjow a good sequined bra his size to go with the pants." Grimmjow opens his mouth to protest, even as Ichigo herds his wife and child away; then he yells after them, offended, "It had better be a good one, Kurosaki, you think I'm putting these puppies in an inferior one?" and when Ichigo glances back he's cupping his pectorals in both hands and squeezing up to give himself cleavage. Ichigo has regrets. Like, he still laughs his ass off, but very regretfully.

[hpalways]

Hiii! I saw that your requests were open and I was wondering if you could do a Genshin highschool au (modern au??? Idk what to call it-) and how Childe, Venti, Albedo and diluc would confess to their crush. Idk I just think it's a cute idea :)

Anyways feel free to ignore! Thanks and have a nice day! Don't forget to eat and drink water! <3

Note: sorry for how late this is but ofc!! thanks for the request and take care as well!

Fandom: Genshin Impact

Characters: Childe, Venti, Albedo, Diluc

Childe

Lost in your own world, you do not notice the red ginger waltzing his way up to the front of the class. Only when you hear audible gasps from the other students do you glance up, surprise coloring your face. 

His azure blue eyes are glued to you, mischief lining the corners of his mouth. Today his red locks are slightly gelled nicely, keeping out of his face and accentuating his features all the more. He dons his school uniform well, looking tall and confident up there, despite having everyone’s attention on him. But of course, that is just who he is as a person -- popular with the student population for being the class clown and a great track athlete with those long legs of his. 

Which is why you nearly fall out of your chair at his declaration. “[Y/N],” he called out. Pairs of eyes follow to you, making you still as a statue. “I... I really like you. You are funny and strong and brave and better of a person than I ever will be. Will you go out with me?”

The class ‘awwed’, lapping the entire scene in with excitement. You want to facepalm, thinking how stupid he is for confessing in front of everyone. What if you reject him? Goodness. He truly is such an idiot. “No,” you say. You watch his face pale for a moment and the students growing silent. Unable to hold in the laugh spilling from your lips, you prevent the awkwardness from seeping in. “I’m kidding. I like you too, Childe.”

Everyone burst into applause, as Childe hurries to you, wrapping his arms around you. Unlike before, his confidence has faded away, left with a vulnerable boy who is so relieved to not get rejected by the one he loves. 

Venti

Sunlight filter through the windows of the music room, casting a sheen past the wispy dust dancing in the air. A young boy with braided ombre locks peacefully sits on the window sill, his legs kicking forth in steady rhythm. Humming under his breath, his teal eyes dart to the door that opened up, instantly brightening up in excitement. 

You peek into the room to find the musical genius, Venti. His childlike charisma is found in the corner, his figure soft and beautiful. After having music class with him, you grew quite close to him -- he never fails to make you smile. He is different from others, a free spirit unable to tied down to anything. Never afraid to seek the thing he wants, he has pushed you to do the same. 

“You’re here,” he breathed out, soaring down from the high ledge. “Can I play you a song I’ve been working on?”

Beaming, you sit down on a chair and nod. Touched that he chooses you to hear something so vulnerable first, you are more than willing to do anything for him. He is a cherished friend -- one you never hope to let go. “Please do.”

He starts to strum the golden harp he’s holding onto, the melodic sound of it wavering into the room. He starts to sing words of no meaning, clear and pretty to match with the instrument. It mesmerize you from the bat, your eyes gluing the stunning male in front of you. His eyes are closed, but his actions were soulful, as if every note wants to say something to you. 

When he finishes, he stops you before you could clap. “Wait,” he whispers, coming closer to you, his eyes rimmed with tears. “I want to tell you a little secret. I like you, [Y/N]. A lot.”

You drop your jaw, blinking in shock at this newfound confession. For a minute, all is silent, the remnant of the song still stuck playing in your head like a broken record. Your cheeks warm and your heart race, and you realize you already know your answer to his confession. “I like you too, Venti.”

Albedo

In the quiet of the library where you can hear a pin drop, you listen to the soft ‘sha’ of the rain pouring outside of the school. It is the perfect day to study with the renown Einstein of the school, Albedo. You lift your gaze up to see him sitting across from you, crystal blue eyes peering down through his lenses. 

He has been very helpful lately, always offering to walk you through problems you are stuck on. It makes your insides flutter, taken off guard by his generosity. Stupid you are, you used to assume him to be a prick, just because he is smart. But now you know better... and the more you get to learn about him, the more you want to see him, not just for tutor sessions. 

He looks up from his textbook and you flinch back, ashamed for getting caught staring. How embarrassing. Quickly looking back down, you pretend to study, frantically scanning the unreadable letters painting on the page. You stiffen when you hear his voice. “Do you need help on anything?” he asks you. Even making his way around the table, you grow flustered when he bends down, platinum blond hair falling from his sides. 

Not only is he smart, but he is beautiful. 

He turns to look at you, inquiry coloring his features. 

“Oh!” you force out, chuckling a little. “No... I’m okay for now-- thank you though.”

He nods, yet does not leave your side, with brows furrowing in deep thought. “Well, I need help on something. Do you mind?”

Albedo? Needing help? How strange. Did the world just flip upside down. You nod in response anyway, unsure whether or not you can actually help him. 

“I can’t figure this out, but why do I feel so nervous around you?”

You pause, heart pounding so loudly against your chest you can hear nothing else. Did this mean...? He couldn’t possibly? But maybe you are too desperate not to voice out the suggestion. “Do you... like me?” you croak out. “Like... like like me?”

He does not respond for a moment, pondering long and hard about it. Eventually, he sits down on the chair next to you, nodding slightly. “I think I do. I like you [Y/N].”

Diluc

He is your bestfriend, your pillar, the one that has kept you true to yourself this entire school experience. No matter what, he is there for you, the one reliable person that hasn’t failed you once. And because he is that, you have grown to love him -- more than just a friend. 

Your arm is hooked around the redhead’s broad shoulder, his soft locks tickling you. In that usual ponytail of his, you always admired his looks, for he could pull off long hair unlike most people. Scarlet hues are trained on you, listening intently to the story you are telling him. 

Reaching your locker, you release your hold on him and begin to spin the locker combination. It clicks and unlocks and as you try to find a notebook, something else caught your eye. There, laying in the middle, is a delicately wrapped letter, accompanied by a lone rose. When did this get here? Blinking at it in confusion, you hesitantly take it, pulling at the silk that binded the thick paper together. 

Dear [Y/N],

you are my best friend, but to tell you the truth, I’ve always longed more from you. Because I have feelings for you, and you only. No matter how many years has gone and come, it has never changed. 

-Diluc

You turn to look at your best friend, disbelief coloring your expression. His head is downturn, his ears growing red in embarrassment. Holding tightly to the rose, you stand on your tippy toe to place a kiss on his cheek. “I have feelings for you too,” you breath out. 

“You do?” he echoes, his face lighting up like a puppy, yet too awkward to make a move. 

“I do.”

[hurricanerin]

Not Just One of Your Many Toys 1: Don’t Tell Me What to Do

Pairing: Ransom Drysdale/OFC

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: MAJOR SPOILERS, loss of virginity, power imbalance, general dickishness

Summary: Ransom and Olivia have been thorns in each other’s sides for fifteen years.  They’ve tolerated one another, coaxed each other through major milestones, and trampled on one another’s hearts.  After years spent healing from one of Ransom’s toxic outburst, Olivia finds herself subpoenaed by the Drysdale family as a character witness for his criminal trial.  Their son is out of control, and the one person with the best chance of getting through to him wants absolutely nothing to do with the man.   

NJOoYMT Masterlist

Add yourself to my taglist.

Steamier things are coming, my friends.

Listen. Or kick it retro. You won’t regret it.)

Boston, 2005

 There has never been a moment in my life that I haven’t known exactly who Ransom Drysdale is.  We met in the fall of 2005, right after my dad was promoted with General Electric and my family had moved to Boston from Puerto Rico for his new job. I was 13 and Ransom was 19, and I could’ve told you within 5 minutes of enduring his company that he was a playboy and a Grade A narcissist.  

My parents and his mom, the legendary Linda Drysdale, had closed on our new house the week before.  When my papá had mentioned to our realtor that he had 6 engineer brothers and sisters in PR also looking to move to the Boston area, Linda immediately swooped in and took over the sale.  We had moved into the new house for two days when who showed up on our doorstep with a giant Harry and David gift basket on his mother’s behalf? Ransom.  I’ve never seen my mom so taken with a man so quickly.  It was absolutely nauseating.  

My mom and I had been sitting at the kitchen table eating breakfast with my little brother when Ransom waltzed in, ruining our meal.  While he charmed my mom, I shooed Gian from the table, stuffed him into his coat and boots and shoved his toast into his hand.  

“You’re gonna miss your bus, vete,” I said with an affectionate push.

He waved me off, but I could see his smile as he scrambled out the door towards his friends.  When I turned around, Mamá was on the phone, distractedly scribbling on a notepad at the center island.  Ransom had seated himself at our table and was examining the gift basket. After retrieving a pear, he rearranged the treats so it looked as if nothing were missing.  Catching my eye, he shot me a grin, took a bite of the fruit and flaunted it in front of me.

“Want some?”

My mom’s groan of frustration cut off my retort as she hung up.  Without missing a beat, Ransom hid the pear behind his leg.

Clipping her beeper to the waist of her skirt, she motioned at my backpack.  “Ol, you need to get your school stuff and hop in the car, I have to go to the hospital early.  I need to drive you; school is on the way.  A patient needs to go into surgery now.”

I scowled and put my hands on my hips. “I’m taking the bus with my friends. You said at this school I could!”

Already gathering her coat and keys, she shook her head.  “I’m sorry, mija.  Not today.  Come on, we need to go.  I can’t leave you alone at home for that long.”

My nose started to sting.  I didn’t want to sit at school alone for an hour and have to explain to my new friends why I wasn’t on the bus like everyone else.

Carefully watching the interaction, Ransom cleared his throat.  “Mrs. Santos, I would be happy to stay with her until her bus comes.  I’m home on break from Yale for the week and would love nothing more than to get to know your daughter,” he offered, radiating charisma.

“Oh Ransom, I couldn’t ask you to do that.”

“Honestly, our house is only a few streets away, so we’re practically neighbors.  It would be no problem.”

She hesitated, glancing from Ransom to her watch. Back home, we didn’t have babysitters. Family played that role.  I couldn’t imagine leaving her 13 year-old home alone with a strange man was high on her list of things to do in the US.

Ransom read the situation well.  “Mrs. Santos, my girlfriend is just at my parents’.  Why don’t I give her a call and the three of us can clean up the kitchen until…,” he motioned at me.

“Olivia,” I snipped.

He didn’t flinch.  “Until Olivia’s bus comes,” he finished with a smile.

“I suppose… that would be alright,” Mamá agreed.  “Your family is so kind!”  Sighing in relief, she snagged me for a kiss goodbye and scurried towards the door.  “Behave, Ol! I’ll see you at dinner,” she shouted over her shoulder.

I listened to the garage door close and turned to find him thumbing through the Harry and David catalogue while dabbing pear juice from his lips with a napkin.  I glared at him for a minute.

“You and your mom are just being nice to my parents because I have a lot of aunts and uncles moving here,” I accused.

He looked up, laughing in surprise.  Nodding his head to the side, he shrugged a shoulder, “You’re not wrong.  Did they tell you that?”

“No, but I can tell.”

A soft ping sounded and he patted his pockets, pulling out a phone from his jacket.  He continued nibbling at the pear until all that was left was the core, then absently dumped it on my abandoned breakfast plate.  I walked closer and peered at the screen in his hands while he typed furiously.

“Do you have any games on your phone?” I asked.

“This isn’t a phone, it’s a Blackberry.”

“Do you have any games on your Blackberry?  Like Snake?  My mom’s phone has Snake.”

“No, it doesn’t have Snake,” he snapped as he pulled a headset from his jacket pocket and plugged it into the headphone jack. Almost immediately it rang and he slipped the earpiece on, pushing me.

“Jackson?”  He sighed at me in irritation and turned away.  “Yeah, come up this weekend.  They’re two Norwegian bitches, semi-professional skiers or something. Super hot.  They’re in the US to train but stopping to vacation in New England or whatever.”  He ran his finger along the wicker of the gift basket while he listened to his friend respond.  With an exasperated sigh, he shook his head.  “No, no, we don’t need to take them sailing for them to put out.”

I stared at him, my jaw dropping.  I knew it was rude to both stare and eavesdrop, but I had never met anyone who was so blatantly awful.

“They’ll fuck us because I’m crazy rich, bro, don’t worry,” Ransom chuckled.  He leaned back against the table and rolled his eyes as his friend prattled on, until his gaze landed on me.  His eyes widened.

“Shit,” he muttered.  “Jax, I’m not alone.  I gotta go.”

He yanked the earpiece off and tossed it on the table, leaning towards me with his elbows on his knees.  

I scowled.  “You don’t really have a girlfriend who’s coming over.”

“Olivia,” he said with a practiced smile that actually reached his beaming eyes.  Ignoring my statement, he took me in for a moment, cataloguing my appearance as his gaze came to rest on my neck.

“That’s such a pretty necklace you’re wearing, did you pick it out yourself?”

My insides tingled a little.  I didn’t like-him-like-him or anything, but he did look like a prince and he had complemented the starfish necklace my parents had given me for my birthday last summer.  It was my favorite.

“It was a present from my mom and dad, from when I turned 13 last year.”

“Christ,” he muttered under his breath.  Something about me being a kid.  I didn’t know what that meant, because he made an angry face. But that quickly went away and then his prince face was back.

“That was my friend Jackson on the phone,” he motioned at his Blackberry with his thumb, “We go to college together.  We joke around a lot,” he chuckled, rubbing my shoulder. “You do that with your friends, too, right?  Tell jokes, mess around?”

Confused and skeptical, I nodded.

“And you don’t always tell those jokes to your parents, because they don’t understand them.  You keep them between you and your friends.”

I raised my brow, trying to look formidable.  “You don’t want me to tell my mom what you were talking about.”

The friendliness in his expression melted away, the corner of his mouth tugging upwards instead.  “Exactly.”

 To this day, I wish I could say I stuck up for myself; that I told my mom how much of a jerk he was.  How he was a deceptive, womanizing liar who didn’t deserve an ounce of our time.  But, I didn’t.  Instead, I stooped to Ransom’s level.

My family had money; my mom was a physician and my dad a senior engineer for GE.  We lived very comfortably.  We had spent several months in the US in an apartment before finding the house, during which they had been earning American salaries and making more than ever.  But, both of my parents came from humble means, sent a lot of money back home to their own parents and grandparents, and did not appreciate the materialism I faced every day at the private school they sent me to.

And Ransom had… a lot of money.  He had made that clear over the phone.  I’m not proud to admit that I requested the Tiffany heart tag bracelet I had seen other girls wearing at school in exchange for my silence.  I’m even less proud that, after scoffing at my proposal, Ransom walked me right past the Tiffany & Co. on Newbury Street and in to Cartier and had me pick out a bracelet there instead.  He said he hadn’t bought Tiffany for a girl since he was my age and that he wasn’t lowering himself.  I still have the bracelet buried in my jewelry box, though I never put it on.  Considering its origins, it feels dirty to wear, but I can’t bear to part with it.

 Boston, 2007

 In 2007, we found out my dad had a mistress.  He had paid for her to move over from PR and had been supporting her in Boston for two years.  That would’ve flown in PR, but in the US, my mom’s friends wouldn’t stand for it. (Especially the female divorce lawyer next door.)  That was more or less the end of my dad’s presence in my life.  There’s a chance he might walk me down the aisle one day, but that’s only if Mamá insists on a super Catholic wedding.  

My dad leaving didn’t affect me like it did my mom and Gian. I had my friends and tennis, but Gian was younger and quieter; he and my dad spent a lot of time with little robot projects and those LEGO sets and I could tell he missed him.  Mamá was lonely at home, too; she and my dad had been together since high school.  She had spent a lot of time taking care of him, despite her working 60 hour weeks.

A few of my dad’s sisters hung around as moral support, but Papá eventually pressured them until they stopped coming to see us.  However, there was an additional isolated party within our vicinity who also needed a group of humans to latch onto; someone with the capacity to fill the role of both quasi-paternal figure (figure, not role model), and platonic spouse.

I’d seen Ransom with Mrs. Drysdale; at best, she spoiled her son.  At worst, she placated him with money, demeaned and dismissed him.  Even I didn’t appreciate how she treated him and most days I didn’t like him.  After graduating last in his class from Yale, Ransom took the year off to get away from her. Not a normal “take the year off” where you travel to learn about yourself, or work, or anything like that. Instead, Ransom bought property in the Maldives and imported $500,000 worth of Dom Perignon—the Rose Gold kind—, and flew in ballerinas from Moscow while telling his mom he was joining the Peace Corps for a girl.  When there was fraud on his black AmEx and he had to phone home for help, there was hell to pay when the call came from not Mongolia.  Linda cut him off and kicked him out.

For six months, but still.  This was Ransom.

My mother, bless her heart, would have absorbed all children needing a home if she could.  And, though he was 21, Ransom definitely qualified as such a child.  I honestly think Ransom needed the mothering, too. Growing up with a nanny paid to give you care is not a replication of a mother’s love, which he never had in the first place.

Ransom always showered Mamá with attention, asking how she was with utter sincerity while maintaining direct eye contact, thanking her for the work she did as a cardiac surgeon, and other general sycophantic niceties.  I was terrified that would change for the worst after he moved in, despite their generous age gap.  A freshly divorced woman could’ve been new prey for him.  It wasn’t that she didn’t know who and what he was—she was under no illusions.  But she had a soft spot for the broken bad boy with mommy issues and indulged him.

I watched him like a hawk when he was around her, but he never made a move.  He certainly let her wait on him; she cooked him food from scratch and listened to him talk while she cleaned up the kitchen, but he was never salacious.  I still give him props for that.  It would have been an entertaining game for him, one he would’ve easily won.  

It helped that he was gone half the time.  He still had his car, keys to the Hamptons house and access to his friends’ jets and properties.   I’m pretty sure Richard was also slipping him $50k a month because Ransom rebuilt his wardrobe pretty quickly.

I will admit I was slightly… antagonistic towards him during the beginning of his time with us.  I may have picked a few fights.  He wanted to watch Sin City because of Jessica Alba; I wanted to watch the Corpse Bride.  He left questionable-looking hair trimmings in the shower drain and you can bet I was pounding on his door.  He gave me that look when I thought I had dressed nicely, and I may or may not have launched myself at him.  But, near the middle of his stay, we learned to co-exist, and even had some decent conversations.  I chilled out when I saw how he was with Gian.  

I’m not sure Mamá ever officially asked Ransom to step up while he was living with us, I think the only conditions she had was that he tip the cleaning people an extra $150 for how bad his room was, not have his douchey friends over past 10pm, and no sleepovers with the opposite sex.  But, it was obvious to everyone under our roof that Gian looked to Ransom for companionship.  And, to my utter surprise, Ransom kind of delivered.  He took Gian to the U.S. Open and up to Lake Champlain to golf a few times, and they’d hang out at the house when Ransom was home.  

Then, one day I heard him call Gian his charity project to his friends as they sat out on the porch.  The second he came inside I punched him in the arm over that.  The weirdest part about Ransom and his awful behavior is that he only kinds of means it.  I mean, the idea was there, he had had the thought that Gian was less fortunate than him and needed his help.  But I also know he genuinely loved my little brother and was making spending time with him out to be a bigger deal than it really was.

Six months to the day, Ransom had a moving company at our doorstep at 8am sharp.  He only had a few hanging wardrobes worth of clothes to move into his new apartment; all of the furniture was being delivered by the dealer, but the man couldn’t lower himself to drive his own U-Haul.  By that time, I had developed an appreciation for Ransom.  It was kind of nice to have someone older to talk to, even though he had no conception of what real life was like.  He was okay.  I didn’t miss sharing a dwelling space with him, but I did kind of miss him.

 Boston, Fall 2009

 That fall, I was 18 and a senior at the Winsor School and Ransom was 25 and bullshitting his way through his Master’s of Science in Business Analytics at Princeton.  I preferred not to ask questions regarding his attendance or grades.  I figured the less I knew, the less I could be implicated in some scandal involving the university and bribery.

High school wasn’t a great time in my life. The kids at Winsor were spoiled and came from generations of overachievers.  You could say there were a lot of Ransoms, I suppose; self-serving, arrogant, brutal, conceited, rich kids.  I’m not saying I didn’t share some of those traits, I knew I was fortunate, but I liked to think I was a decent person.  As a result, I was relatively lonely.  I had the varsity tennis team, and that fit my basic  need for socialization.  But not once did I ever entertain the thought of a boyfriend.

As the years progressed, I waited for the mutual attraction for my peers to arrive.  It never did. At that age, even if boys had adopted the air of sophistication they had seen modeled at home and had the ability to charm, they severely lacked in a different department, like intelligence or maturity.  I shut down every advance without a second thought and didn’t look back.

Until, that is, my Senior year.  As leaving home was becoming a reality, I decided I didn’t want to go to college a virgin.  I just didn’t.  Things happen in college, things you don’t always have control over, and I liked control.  I liked control very much.  And I wanted to have control over when and how I gave it up.  And I wasn’t giving it up to some 18 year old I had dated for a three months who couldn’t kiss and also didn’t have the experience to help me enjoy the process.

But I knew someone who did.

I smirked as a key sounded in the lock, Ransom had never given his back from a few years ago.

“Ol?” his voice echoed up the stairs.

“In the kitchen!”

The old stairs creaked as he ascended, heading straight for the refrigerator without even looking at me.

“Hey,” he nodded in greeting.

“Hey.”  For the first time in my life, I was nervous talking to him.  I’d texted him, asking if he could stop by, which wasn’t out of character.  He usually popped in at least once a month to return a book, pick up a sweater he forgot that my mom had washed or have dinner with us.  He lingered, even after moving out.  The flight from Princeton to Boston was only an hour, and it meant a lot to Gian, to all of us, really, that Ransom still visited.

While Ransom dug through the fridge, pulling out some leftover chorizo, I set about throwing together some protein smoothies for us.  He had left a container of ridiculously expensive something something collagen protein at our house the last time he was there and it was expiring soon, so I split the remainder between us.  Out of the corner of my eye I saw him fuss with the microwave.

I raised a brow.  “You know how to use kitchen appliances?”

He took an exaggerated bite of a sausage slice. “Selectively,” he winked.

I bit my cheek to keep from laughing.  Ransom’s “selective” helplessness didn’t need encouragement.

I think what we worked in was companionable silence, but I’m not positive.  I was pretty geared up, so it was hard to tell.  Settling at the table, I laid plates out for both of us, chewing my lip.

“I have a favor to ask.”

“I can’t get you into Yale early decision, but I can get you in,” he said as he reached for his smoothie.

I rolled my eyes.  “I’ve already gotten into Brown on my own, which was my first choice, thank you. What I need is… different.”

“What is it?  I’ve got cash with me.”

“Ransom!  Listen to me. Just let me ask my question.”

“Okay!” he chuckled, his eyes gleaming as he swirled his glass.

“Okay,” I repeated, my heart pounding in my chest. I made myself look him in the eye. All of a sudden I wanted to cry? What if he said no?  What if he laughed?  What if he never talked to me again?

“Ol, you’re getting pale.  You look like you’re about to ask me to skin a cat.”

“Shut up,” I grumbled, seconds away from losing my nerve. I inhaled deeply, folding my hands on the table in front of me and sitting up straight.

“Ransom,” I began.

“Olivia,” he countered, his face comically serious.

“I want you to take my virginity.  Now that I’m 18—.”

“Hah—You what?  No you don’t, Olivia, you don’t—.”

“I do.”

“Ehhhh,” he made a pained face and shook his head.  “I mean, what do you mean by virginy? What have you done before?”

“Nothing.”

“But you’ve given head though, right?”

I tried to mask my embarrassment with a look of disdain.

When Ransom gaped in surprise, I kicked him under the table.

“A handjob?”

“I said nothing,” I bit out.

The corner of his mouth pulled upward and he tilted his head, his eyes narrowing.  “What about like… getting off with each other?”

I shook my head.  

“Sexting?”

“There’s no one I want to sext.”

He sighed and rubbed his eyes.

“But like…”

“I’ve never touched or been touched, Ransom.  I’ve never seen a man naked, okay?”

He sighed.  “I don’t do virgins.  It’s a personal policy.  Especially someone like you who has absolutely no experience.”

That stung, but I kept trying.  “Do you have a girlfriend?”

“No—.”

“Are you dating anyone?”

“Ol, I don’t date—.”

“Ransom, this is exactly the type of arrangement you want!” I hissed.

“This should be something you do with a boyfriend, someone your age who you care about and who cares about you.”

I groaned and stormed into the living room, plopping into an easy chair.  

“I don’t want a boyfriend.  I’m going to Brown in the fall, so dating someone now would be pointless. And in Providence, between Chi Omega, studying, volunteering, and AMSA, I just won’t have time for a relationship.”

Ransom couldn’t suppress a laugh as he tailed after me.  “You’re as heartless as I am.”

“I’m not heartless,” I argued.  “I’m practical.”

He gave me a patronizing smile.  “You’ve never done this before, you don’t know how you’ll feel afterwards.  It’s sex. Girls get attached.  I just can’t do that, babe.”

"You can!  Ransom, you can.  I won’t get attached.  I’ll leave you alone after.  I won’t text you for a month.  Please? I—,” my cheeks flamed as I looked down at my hands.  Bickering and bantering with Ransom was easy.  Acting like I disliked him was easy.  But being vulnerable with him?  That was terrifying.  “I want it to be you,” I whispered.  “I don’t trust anyone else.”

With a sigh, he perched on the arm of my chair.

“I’m going back to Princeton on Sunday.  Even if we did it tonight, we wouldn’t have 48 hours together.”

“I don’t care!” I slapped the seat of the chair. “What if—what if I get roofied and lose it to some guy and don’t even remember it?  Or—or someone, you know… one in every four women faces sexual assault in college…”

That perpetual, devious gleam in Ransom’s eyes disappeared.  Something brutal and vicious replaced it.

  “I’d kill him.  I’d kill anyone who touched you like that.”

My chest tightened.  I’d never seen him that serious before, not even when he argued with his mom.  It was a little terrifying.  But, I had carried pepper spray on me for years since moving to the city and I already knew my parents were sending me to college with a SipChip, not that I’d be going to parties anyway.  I tried another angle.

  “I know I’m not the girls you normally sleep with—blonde, white, with yachts and horses and trust funds—

Darkness cast over his face.

“Olivia,” he interrupted.  Brow creasing, Ransom lifted his hand near my face, then hesitated. With a growl, he cupped my jaw. “You’re beautiful,” he murmured, brushing the knuckle of the opposite hand against my cheek.  “And trust funds are so mundane.”

I rose from the chair and leaned against his leg. “Then why don’t you want me?”  It took everything in me to keep my voice from breaking.

Ransom shifted uneasily, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Ol, I’ve known you since you were a kid.  I can’t—I just don’t see you that way.”

“You still see me as a child?”

“I guess, yeah.”

Butterflies flapped madly in my belly, but I held my breath and stepped forward between his legs until our chests were pressed together, trapping my hand between us at his groin.  Praying that I applied what I had read correctly, I timidly felt for his cock. He grunted when I wrapped my hand around the outline of its shape and followed it with a shy stroke.

“I am not a child,” I husked in my best seductress voice.

“You said you’d never touched or been touched,” he accused through clenched teeth.

Both proud and embarrassed, I ducked my head. “I don’t like entering a situation unprepared.  I read a lot and watched some videos.”  Realizing the implications of my statement, I turned beet red.  “For research, I mean!”

That earned me a genuine smile.  Sliding one hand around my waist he pulled me closer, then used the other to firmly guide my palm over his half erect cock, rubbing it back and forth.  I blushed as I felt him harden under my fingers.

“What else did you research?”

"Stuff,” I mumbled.

Rubbing his thumb along my hipbone, his gaze fell to his lap, watching my hand work over his erection.  Then his eyes deviated to my front, trailing up my belly to my chest, which was, admittedly, heaving, and slowly made their way to my face. Looking someone in the eye had never made me clench down there before.  It was unexpected, but not unappreciated.

I could see Ransom thinking, his eyes flicking back and forth between mine as he reasoned with himself.

“You need to think this over, you need to really consider what you’re asking me and decide that’s what you want,” he murmured, his voice rough.

My pussy throbbed at the sound, and it took extra concentration not to let my eyes close.

“When have I ever made a rash decision about something this important?  I started thinking about this a year ago.”

He exhaled a laugh, shaking his head.  “Of course you did.”

When his hips gave an involuntary thrust against my palm, he gently pulled my wrist away.

“That’s enough for now.”

Tears pricked at the corner of my eyes.  “Did I do it wrong?  Is that a no?”

He massaged his closed eyelids with his index finger and thumb, exhaling shakily.  “It should be a no.  A good man would say no.”  

Drawing me against him once more, I whimpered as he ground his cock against my belly.  “But I’ve never been a good man, have I, Olivia?”

He didn’t give me an opportunity to respond. The kiss was firm, but delicate. No tongues or biting or slipping or sliding, just lips pressed together, gently massaging.  When he sucked at my lower lip I surprised both of us with a soft moan, causing him to bury his hand in my hair and tilt my head for better access.

I completely lost track of everything, because the next moment of consciousness I had was gasping for air as he pulled away. My fingers were tangled in his hair, my hand clutching his sweater like it was a lifeline, and his thigh was situated between both of mine, applying pressure to my clit that was making me see stars.  Now my mouth was wet, but I didn’t care.

Once I could see straight, I dove for his mouth again, but he stopped me with an unyielding grip on my chin.

“Change,” he rumbled.  “We’ll go to dinner at Menton, I’ll pull some strings and get us a table.  Then back to my apartment.”

I squinted, still reeling from the kiss. “We’re not going to Menton first, that makes it sound like a date.  This isn’t a date, we have one mission to accompli—.”

He gaze grew cold.  “If we do this, we’re doing it my way.  You’re going to listen to me.  I’m in charge.”

My eyes flicked back and forth between his as my entire face and neck glowed pink.  

“Okay,” I whispered.

“Say ‘Yes, sir,’” he corrected me.

“Yes, sir,” I repeated softly.

The pleased smile that spread across his lips gave me a warm feeling in my belly.

“Tonight, I’m going to destroy your pussy,” he whispered against my ear, sucking at my lobe, “I’m going to make you come like a whore.”  Moving to my other side, he spoke softly again, his warm breath against my cheek making me shiver.  “Your future husband will resent me for the rest of your lives, because I’m going to ruin you for any other man.”  Nuzzling my nose with the tip of his, he kissed the corner of my mouth.  “And you’re going to love it.”

I couldn’t help myself.  I was throbbing, there was pressure building in my belly and the man had barely laid a hand on me.  With a high pitched whimper, I sought his mouth again, but he wrapped his huge hand around my throat and shook his head as he held me back.

“Go.  Pick out something nice to wear.  Something you feel pretty in.”

Mouth dry, I nodded.  He caught my arm as I went to leave.

“And Olivia?  Not a scrap of clothing underneath.”

[fanficwriter013]

The Tower: The Queen of Asgard - 16

The Tower: The Queen of Asgard An Avengers Fanfic

Series Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Pairing:  Avengers x OFC, Bruce Banner x Bucky Barnes x Clint Barton x Wanda Maximoff x Steve Rogers x Natasha Romanoff x Tony Stark x Thor x Sam Wilson x OFC (Elly Cooper)

Word Count: 3613

Warnings: 

Synopsis: The twins are now three and while the Avengers know that Clint and Thor are the biological father’s none of them know or care which blond, blue-eyed baby is related to which man.  When Riley gets the power to control wind and it becomes evident that she is the heir to the Asgardian throne, Elly, Steve, Thor, and Tony take the twins to Asgard to train her.

Not every Asgardian is happy with their king’s choice of consort, nor the impurity of the heir’s blood.  While others expect Thor to make things more official.  What’s clear is, the role of Queen of Asgard is not easily filled.

Author’s Note:  Written with @avengerscompound​ (insert witty comment here.)

Chapter 16: Reunited

Our moment of relaxed contentment didn’t last too long.  By the end of the same day, Thor had come clean about the Fenestare, which had led to a long argument about whether it was okay to even participate in a battle to the death, how dangerous it was, and how it put the rest of us at risk too.

Tony wanted to leave.  Even the tiniest risk to the kids’ safety and he was on edge.  And so far there had been a lot of those.  Steve wasn’t so sure if we should leave.  If Thor was so determined to do this, he wanted to be there to support him.  He was very vocal about the fact that he did not think Thor should do it on moral terms.

Nothing was changing Thor’s mind though, so we spent the following day, highly strung as he prepared for the fight.  Tony dragged Steve to the lab to finish the bots and Thor had made me and the kids follow him around all day.  They were tired and cranky as we went back to his royal chambers.  Pietro was curled up in my arms and Riley was throwing herself around in Thor’s rather dramatically when Sif stormed in.

“Why was I informed, immediately upon arrival that there is going to be a Fenestare?”  She asked, squaring up to Thor and poking him in the chest.  “It’s like this place doesn’t function when I’m not here.”

I couldn’t even pretend I cared about what Sif had to say about the Fenestare.  I was too excited she was back.  If she was back it meant the others might be here too.  “Did you bring them?”

“Yes,” Sif said.  “I took them to your chambers.  They are settling in.”

I whined and looked at Thor.  He handed me Riley and pressed a kiss to my forehead.  “Volstagg, could you please escort the Lady Elise to the others.”

“Of course,”  Volstagg said and gestured to the door.

“And I will stay here and attempt to slap some sense into our King,” Sif said.

I followed Volstagg down to our chambers carrying both the kids and when I stepped inside I found them all looking high strung and pacing the room.

“You’re going to need to explain what’s going on fast,” Wanda said.  “I’m starting to lose them.”

“Hey, hey, hey,”  I said putting the kids down.  They both immediately started bouncing and jogging on the spot like they wanted to run to the rest of their family but couldn’t decide who they should run to first.  “Why do you guys always have to go so negative?”

“Because an alien shows up, demands we all come here, and the mind-reader immediately jumps on board,” Natasha said folding her arms in front of her.  “That’s suspicious.”

“Can one of you indicate to your kids to come to them, they’re about to explode,” I said.  “The rest of you take a seat.”

“Who wants Daj?”  Wanda asked crouching down and opening her arms.  Riley charged over to her and slammed into her.  I crouched and pointed to Clint and Pietro ran over to him and immediately started scaling him.

Almost everyone took a seat in the couches.  Bucky, Natasha, and Bruce couldn’t seem to settle though, and the three of them kept pacing the room.

“Okay… so, there’s been a little descension here that Thor was unaware of the extent of.  A section of his people believe he was too young for the job, but originally there was no other choice but him or Loki and he was the preference.  So they would make him jump through hoops and he’d do it.  Only now a faction claiming there are two older siblings.  They believe that the firstborn son should be ruling and not Thor and are causing some trouble.  A few things have happened.”  I explained as I sat forward on the couch.

“There’s a what?”  Natasha asked.

“Brother.  Though there has been no actual sign of him.  There is a claim he was kidnapped and raised by the rulers of one of the other realms in the hope to put him in charge of Asgard and then they would rule the nine realms.”  I answered.

“You said some things happened?”  Bucky asked.  He was flexing his metal hand and looked as close to being the soldier as I’d seen him in a long time.

“There was an attempt to kidnap and murder Riley and I,” I said.  “A guard and a woman from that other realm attacked us.”

“And where are they now?”  Bucky asked in a completely flat and rather terrifying tone.

“In prison.  Loki has been dealing with them.”

“I want to see them.” Bucky seethed looking at the door.

“That is not a good idea,” Loki said, coming into the room followed by Fandral.

“It’s also not why you’re here,”  I added.

Bucky wheeled back to me.  “What?  There’s more?”

“Yeah,” I said with a nod.  “It’s about the hoops he’s having to jump.  Right now he’s preparing for a fight to the death he has to participate in.  Though that is also not why you’re here.  When we got here, we were almost forced to … well, marry him.  He has to be bonded with someone to rule if he has a child.  Without telling him or us they were going to force the ceremony.  He managed to get them to give us two weeks.  I couldn’t do it without you guys at least knowing about it.  But… and I guess I’m proposing for him right now.  He’d like it to be all of you.”

“A what?”  Natasha asked.  “And a what?”

“Deathmatch.  Wedding.”  I said counting them off on my fingers. “And -”  I took a breath and huffed, blowing my hair off my brow.  “- the thing about the wedding is… it will mean our life expectancies change.  They will all be pulled in line with Thor’s.”

“Can you boil that down just a wee bit for my dumb brain?”  Clint asked as he cuddled with Pietro.

“The ceremony is called bonding.  It doesn’t change the rules of the relationship.  It just means we are bonded to Thor.  And each other.  We will have a special connection.  For those of us like me who are going to get the usual 78 years most likely, we will now get closer to 5000.  For Bucky, Steve, maybe you B, and you Nat.  You’ll live significantly less.  Plus Thor will be promised to you.  You won’t ever have to worry about being alone.  So… we don’t all have to do it.  But he has to do it with someone.  If you don’t want to that’s okay, but we all need to agree on who does and if that’s okay.”

“Is there a place I can go to punch things?”  Bucky asked in a low voice.

I looked over at Loki, but Volstagg stepped forward.  “Let me take you to the training arena.”  He said.  “Is there anyone else that would like to work out their tension?”

Natasha raised her hand.  Volstagg indicated to the door with his ax and the three of them headed out together.

Sam moved over and wrapped his arm around me and I melted into him.  “I missed you guys.”

“How have you been doing, sweetie?”  Wanda asked rubbing my leg.

“I guess you could say I’ve been a little bit stressed,” I said.

Sam rubbed my arm and kissed the top of my head.  “That’s totally understandable, princess.”  He said.  “You’re safe and we’re all here.”

“What about you, my darlings?  Have you been having fun?”  Wanda asked the kids.

“Uncle Woki has a big wibwawy,” Pietro answered.

“Yeah?  How big?”  Clint asked.

Pietro stretched his arms up over his head.  “Is big.  So many.”

“Piet, you should tell daddy about what Fandral has been teaching you,” I said.

Pietro stood up on Clint’s thighs and started jumping.  “Daddy!  Daddy!”  He said excitedly and then started babbling so fast that it was hard to make out any words.

“Buddy.  Buddy, slow down.”  Clint said, holding Pietro’s hands.

“Dere’s a pony, daddy.  I rided da pony.”  He squealed.

“Oh, really?”  Clint asked.

“Fandral was teaching him to ride while Thor taught Riley how to use her powers,” I explained.

“That sounds like a lot of fun, buddy,” Clint said, and Pietro slammed himself against him and nuzzled into his neck.  “So… the immortality thing.”

“I don’t know what to do.  I worry about him.”  I said poking Pietro.

“Well, maybe he falls in love with an Asgardian,” Clint said.  “Or maybe Earth Science can cure diseases.”

“Or maybe we have to watch him age and then die and we’ll just be stuck like this,” I said, frowning.

“Well, yeah,” Clint said and kissed the top of Pietro’s head.  “I dunno.  Still don’t really see it as a problem.”

“You want to do it?”  I asked.  “Just like that?”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know,” I said, furrowing my brow.  “It’s huge.  It means a lot.”

“Why don’t you talk us through it, honey?”  Sam asked.

“We’ll have to watch everyone we know die.  That means probably Piet.  Hill, Coulson, Scott, Rhodey, Clarke.”  I said.  “It means that all the shit we deal with on Earth could get worse because we will always just be there.  We might stop even being able to relate to people or form proper bonds with them.  They might start thinking we’re gods too.”

“Where did that fear even come from?”  Sam asked.

“I don’t know.  Anne Rice?”

Sam chuckled and Clint shook his head.  “So, fiction?  Have you tried actually talking to someone who has experience with that kind of thing?”  Clint asked.

“What like Thor?  The god of thunder?”  I snarked.

“Well, what about that guy?”  Clint asked, gesturing to Fandral.

“I’m afraid I’m not a good example,” Fandral said with a small bow.  “I have lived a normal life for what is expected on Asgard.  I have seen my elders die but I haven’t had to outlive any of my peers.  At least not in terms of watching them grow old.  I’ve lost friends in battle.”

“Oh,” Clint said.

“There is a chance that young Loki here may outlive us all.  The stories say there are celestials who existed before existence.  There is only one known case of their death and the skull is now the homeworld of many people.  Then came the All fathers.  The Ice Giants came with them.  They were violent and burned a path through the universe before them.  Then Odin was born of the Allfathers.  That was when the universe began to settle.  Other worlds grew and their own life forms formed with their own life spans.  But here on Asgard we live thousands of years and are revered as gods.”

“Okay, but would you choose to outlive some people by millennia if you could?”  Clint asked.

Fandral approached us and took a seat next to Loki. “That seems inevitable.  People die in war.  I outlived the Valkyrie.  My parents.”

“The what?”  Clint asked.

“Valkyrie?  The warrior women?”  Fandral asked with a mixture of shock and disbelief.  “You haven't heard of them?”  When Clint shook his head, Fandral sat up straight and clapped his hands.  “A story for the little prince and princess.  Once upon a time, Odin was stretching his rule over the Nine Realms.  There was much fighting within them and he wished to restore peace and order.  He took with him an army of women who rode upon winged horses.  They were the most formidable army in all the realms.  All who they went up against fell.  Until one day there was a great battle and they were all slain.”  He explained.   “I was but a child when they existed.”  He leaned over and poked Pietro in the stomach.  “Your father wished to be a Valkyrie when he grew up.”

“You get me a horsie wif wings?”  Pietro asked.

Fandral chuckled.  “That might be possible, little prince.  But first, we learn on the non-winged kind.”

“Are they a different species?”  Clint asked.

“That’s right,”  Fandral said with a nod.  “Longer lived and stronger than the typical horse on Asgard, but no match for Odin’s former steed.”

Clint furrowed his brow like he was mulling over the story.  “Why would wings make them live longer?”

I snorted.  “Correlation, not causation, Clint.”

“If I were to guess, I would say it was because the magic runs deeper through them,”  Fandral added and turned to Loki.  “What do you think, dear?”

“I think it would be a shame if I had to put a knife into your eye,” Loki said rolling his eyes and picking at his nails.  “I just cleaned my blades.”

Fandral chuckled and poked Pietro in the belly.  “Now, now.  Your uncle is always so violent.”

Pietro giggled and wiggled in Clint’s lap.

“Where are the boys?”  Sam asked.

“Thor is being chewed out by Sif.  I think Steve and Tony are in the lab.”  I said.

Like I had summoned him, the door opened and Thor came in with Sif, followed by the chef and his carts of food.

“Woah, magic,”  I said as Riley wriggled out from Wanda’s arms and ran over to the chef.

Riley bounced on her feet as she watched the chef start sorting things out for everyone.  There was a lot more food than previously, but then there were also a lot more of us.

As he was setting up, Steve, Tony, and Hogun came in.

“Oh, hey, the rest of them,” Sam said.

“Where’s Bucky and Nat?”  Steve asked, looking around.

“Punching stuff,” Clint answered.

“You should give everyone their gifts,” I said as Steve scowled.

“Sure,” Tony said and went into the bedroom to find the bag.

“Sif, did you talk Thor out of it?”  I asked.

“I’m afraid not, my lady,” she said.  “I did try.”

Tony returned with the bag and pulled out the bow.  “This is for you, Legolas.”

Clint took it and his eyes went wide.  “It’s so light.  Feels like I’m holding a pencil.”

“It is like mine,” Sif said.  “It has a perfect balance and tension.  You will like it.”

Clint tested the balance and I took the bag off Tony and dug around in it pulling out the vambrace.  “I picked these for you,” I said giving them to Sam.

He took them and made a soft, pleased sound.  “These are nice.”  He said turning them over.

“I thought they’d match your wings if you wanted to wear them. Or they’re just pretty.  So you can put them on a shelf to look at.”  I said.

“They’re perfect.  Thank you, princess.”  He said and pulled me close nipping at my neck.

I giggled and leaned into him, passing the bag back to Tony.  He went back and pulled out the gift for Bruce and gave them to him pulling him into his arms and kissing him softly before he pressed the decorative case into Bruce’s hands.

Bruce opened them and smiled for the first time since I’d seen him here.  “These look interesting.”

“Thought you’d like them, Bear,” Tony said and nuzzled at Bruce’s neck.

Steve took the bag off Tony and took out Natasha and Bucky’s gifts and put them on a shelf out of the kids’ reach before bringing the whole bag over and giving it to Wanda.  “Everything else in there is for you, darling.”  He said.

Wanda looked at him suspiciously and then opened the bag and looked inside.  “Why is it so big?”

“Some weird magic,” Steve said.

She reached in and brought out a handful of rings, necklaces, and bracelets.  “There’s so much.”  She said, beginning to separate each piece.

“The lady who made them wanted you to have all of them.  There is a lot more in there.”  Steve said, leaning down and pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

“It’s all so beautiful,” Wanda said, smiling.  “Thank you.”

Steve gave her shoulder a squeeze.  “You’re very welcome.”

“Lunch is served.”  The chef said.

“Is good,” Riley said from her spot at the table.  A plate was already in front of her and her mouth was completely full.

“How’d you get food, bug?”  Clint asked getting up with Pietro on his hip.

Riley pointed at the chef with a piece of food she was holding in her fist.  “Dis guy.”

“I did hand her a plate.”  The chef said.  “Did I overstep, my lord?”

“Is good,” Riley said.  “You my fwiend.”

The chef chuckled.  “Thank you, princess.  You’re my friend too.”

“I assure you, Clinton.  Magnus has been working for the throne since I was a small boy.  I trust him completely.”

“Even with what happened?”  Clint asked.

“Yes.  Magnus is loyal to us.”  He said.  “And a member of our household.”

Magnus bowed and took leave of the room as everyone got up and helped themselves to food.  Pietro climbed up onto Clint’s head and ate things that were passed up to him as Clint sat at the table with Steve, Sam, Tony, and Bruce.  Wanda and I ate at the couch with Loki while Thor seemed to pace and pick at things.

“Come here, human cat.  Curl back up with me.”  Wanda said, shifting so she could eat with me tucked into her side.

I curled in and picked at the food on my plate.  “What would the bonding ceremony be like?  What can we expect?”  Wanda asked.

“Oh, we get powers.  But we don’t know what they’ll be until it’s happened.”  I said.

“I’ll have extra powers?  Like lightning?”  Wanda asked.

“They will be a reflection of both who you are and how you see yourself in your family,” Loki explained.  “For example, someone who was very protective of their family might be able to create a shield that encompasses them.”

“Oh.  I see.  I wonder what that would mean for each of us.”  Wanda said.

Loki shrugged.  “Hopefully it renders this one mute.”  He said gesturing to me.

I tried to stifle a laugh, ended up snorting and then broke down into peals of silent giggles.

Loki did his best to ignore me completely.  “The ceremony itself involves a literal binding.  A cord will be used to bind you to each other.  For the number of you, I imagine it will look like a large web.  Magic will be passed through it and you will take a sort of vision quest.  In it, you will find where you belong within the relationship and your family.  If the bonds are true and good, then you will be granted your new gift.”

“Wow. Okay.”  Wanda said and took a drink as she seemed to mull over Loki’s words.

“Does she always eat like this?”  Loki asked waving her hand vaguely at Riley.

I looked over and saw Riley completely covered in food and shoveling more into her mouth.  “Oh, yes.  She’s a hungry beast, aren’t you bug?”

She roared in response which made Wanda start giggling.

“Who raised this child to act like this?”  Bruce asked.

“We did?”  I said with a shrug.

“I think she needs to be recalibrated.”  Sam joked.

“Daddy,” Riley said, sternly.

“Oh.  You asked for it now.”  Sam said, getting up.

“No, daddy!”  She squealed.

“Yes, bug.”  He said, grabbing her around the waist and flipping her upside down.

She flailed and squealed, kicking her legs excitedly.  A soft wind began to swirl around the room.

“Just a few more minutes.”  Sam teased.  “You’re almost fixed.”

“Riley, control that wind, please,” Thor said.  She continued kicking and squealing but the wind died right off.

“Huh,”  Sam said, flipping her back over and putting her down.

“Again, daddy!”  She squealed, jumping up and down.

“She got control of it after only a couple of days?”  Sam asked.

Thor shook his head as Riley continued to jump up and down, tugging on Sam’s shirt.  “Only sometimes.  It’s important to remind her when it’s out of her control though.”

Sam caught her midjump and spun her upside down again.  She squealed in delight.   It was such a pure noise and she was so happy.  As loud as it was with everyone here I felt at peace.  Even Bruce seemed to have started to relax a little.  The only stand out person, who was not beginning to calm was Thor.  Time was ticking down to the Fenestare, and the stress of it seemed to be seeping out of his pored.

“Thor, are you okay?”  I asked.

“As I can be.”  He said in a strained tone.

“Do you want to join Wanda and I for cuddles?”  I asked.

“Yes.  I would most appreciate that.”  He said moving over to us.

“You know he is as heavy as a horse right?”  Loki asked.

“I have been under him many times, yes.”  I deadpanned as I opened my arms and Thor collapsed down into them.

Loki shook his head.  “I don’t know what I expected to happen when I said that.”  He said.  “I am old enough to know better.”

“You did kind of walk into it.”  I agreed as I began to caress Thor’s hair and neck.

Riley came over and climbed up on Thor, draping herself over him like a cat and closing her eyes.

“Do you think she understands what’s happening?”  Sam asked.

“I don’t know,” I said.

“I hope she doesn’t,” Bruce said, his voice slightly strained.

Thor shifted and closed his eyes a little, and it wasn’t long before both father and daughter were snoring lightly in the pile on my lap.

// NEXT

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: Love, Maybe? {22}

Chris Evans X Reader OFC Vixen Giovanni

Warning: Cursing, Plot

Word Count: 1.1K

Summary: After a night of drunkenness you wake up next to warm, hot as hell body, a migraine and no memory of the night before. When you come to realize that the hot body belongs to none other than Hollywood’s golden boy Chris Evans you freak out. As events unfold you become even more panicked to find out you got married in your drunken haze. What else is there to do but get it annulled, right? Before walking away, you share one more night of molten kisses and passion. Three years later you are still living with the repercussions of your brash decisions, but the surprises don’t stop there. The past has a way of coming back and have you questioning is this fate that you’ve been running from, hell could it have been love, maybe?

Note: Italic texts is an inner Vixen thought. Bold Italic texts is an inner Chris thought.

**Slightly Edited/Proofread**

***Interactive**

Thank you guys for reading!!!! If you enjoyed this please LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG. 😊 ❤️  ❤️ ❤️

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 22: Oopsies

-Chris-

   He sat in his lawyer’s office after getting a call a few days ago about hammering out some details. Glancing at his phone at the time he saw it was now fifteen minutes past the scheduled meet time. This had never happened before. He walked to the floor to ceiling windows and peered out over downtown Los Angeles. It had its drawbacks, many drawbacks but being this high, it drowned them all out. He could actually hear himself think something he hadn’t been able to do the last week. His filming schedule picked up, so his time was once again stretched thin, which meant his time with Ella took the impact. He’d only made it to one dinner and couldn’t get away from set to see her during the days. He was frustrated by it, to say the least. In the same week, he’d dodged numerous calls from his siblings because he just didn’t know what to say yet. He knew he couldn’t explain over the phone. It had to be in person.

   He rubbed his forehead, and the candy bracelet caught his eye. He smiled as he slowly twirled the confection jewelry. It was the first gift from Ella, a gift she personally gave to him. He carefully looked over it and smiled as he passed the small mermaid decals she said she put “spesol.” No lie, he nearly bawled like a baby right in front of her, and when he went home that night he did cry. It was quickly becoming harder and harder to imagine his life without her.

   The door behind him opened, and he spun around to see his lawyer Max and his previous lawyer, Sherman. He was shocked. “Sherman?”

   “How are you, Chris?” They shook hands. He looked over him. He’d heard about his struggles over the last few years.

“How are you, Sherman?” He nodded and smiled. “Doing a lot better Chris. Time truly does heal all wounds.” He nodded.

   “Good to hear. So what’s this about a few things to hammer out?”

   “Have a seat, Chris,” Max said stretching his arm out to the available seats by the bar. He sat with the view of LA before him. The two men sat before him, but they didn’t speak. He scoffed.

“Guys, come on. What is it? Is it that last deal for that fashion house? is there a problem with the financial part of the contract?” Sherman sighed and slid to the edge of the couch he sat.

   “No. I’ll just get on with it. So, remember those years ago you came to me about that matter with that young woman?” He snorted and nodded; they were well past that now.

   “I remember.” Sherman took a deep breath then forged ahead.

   “There is no easy way to say this. I was going through a lot then, nothing I wanted any of my clients to know about. When I received each of your paperwork for the divorce--.” He paused and took another deep breath. “I was prepared to file it with the state; then I had my ordeal.

   By ordeal, he meant his nervous breakdown and subsequent mental breakdown that landed him in rehab for six months and a string of other mental and emotional setbacks which led to him just picking up and leaving for two years. He’d had it rough.

   “With all the commotion and unrest around here, the deadline that was given by the state to file the papers was missed.” He nodded.

   “Okay.” Max and Sherman looked at each other and back to him. “Okay?” Max inquired with a confused look on his face.

   “Yeah, deadlines are missed all the time.” They both looked at him like he was crazy.

   “Okay, hold on. Chris, do you understand what Sherman’s saying? He didn’t file the divorce papers in time with the state. Matter of fact the papers were never filed. Your divorce was not processed,” Max reiterated in understandable terms.

   Slowly his words processed, and the weight of them had him springing to his feet. “What!”

  Both men nodded, seeing that he fully understood. “What does—what are you trying to say, Max?”

   “You’re still married. You’ve been married this entire time.”

   He almost passed out; he staggered backward before he caught himself against the couch. After steadying himself he began pacing. His mind was running a mile a minute and wouldn’t stop on just one thing. Every so often his movements stopped for a few seconds only to begin again. He didn’t know how long he paced without speaking.

   “Chris,” Max cautiously began. He stopped and looked at them.

   “What do you need? We can refile, we just have to get her in here and do the process again. This is not unfixable. We can turn this minor nuisance around. Just say the word, and we’ll get this divorce started, and you’ll be free of it,” Max informed. With every word he said his brain only processed a few; refile, unfixable, free.

   “Free?” Both men nodded. He turned his back to them and walked across the room to the other windows and looked out but not to the view. He looked into the sky.

   “You wanted a wife and kid. Now you have em’.”

   When the thought popped into his head, he scoffed then laughed out loud. He laughed for several moments taking in the double irony of his situation. This was better than any rom-com movie he’d seen or starred in.

   “Uh, Chris--.” He held his hand up and bent to his knees to catch his breath.

   “My god. Whooo! So you both are telling me that due to your fuck up I’m still married.” They looked between each other again and nodded, not making eye contact with him. He snorted again. “And I’ve been married for how long now?”

   Max walked across the room to his desk and took up the papers. “Well, today is April nineteenth, uh—two years and eight months, just about.”

   He laughed again only this time it was a little louder. He was convinced they thought he was having a mental breakdown. “Wow, you can’t write this shit. This is classic. Wow. Okay.”

   “Should we begin again on the divorce?”

   He looked back out and to the sky. He couldn’t help but feel like this was yet another irrefutable sign from a higher being, or beings. Some called it destiny, and others called it fate; he called it irony.

   “I’ll be in touch.” With that, he turned and walked out their office. He didn’t know what he was going to do. All he knew was this was sign number three, and he wasn’t sure if he could brush this to the side as easily as he did the others.

~~~~~~~~~~~

***If you want to be tagged please SEND AN ASK SO IT WILL BE EASIER FOR ME TO KEEP TRACK OF. Thank you for reading!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~

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[spnfanficpond]

November Angel Fish Awards

Every month all of you fantastic writers work your asses off to post some truly incredible stories. Our Angel Fish Awards are the way for all of us, as a community of writers and readers, to lift each other up and give praise to those who have captured our attention and deserve a few kind words.

The monthly Angel Fish Awards are peer-nominated, meaning ANYONE IN THE POND CAN NOMINATE ANY POND MEMBER’S FIC. While the Pond was founded to support the Guppies, everyone in this community deserves to be showered with love and feedback, and we hope that by opening this up as a Pond wide system, we’ll be able to share the love as far as it can go.

NOTE: WE’VE BEEN HAVING OCCASIONAL PROBLEMS WITH ASKS GOING MISSING. Please use the Submit button when submitting your nominations and make sure you’re signed into Tumblr or your URL won’t show. (If the form asks for your name and email address, then you’re not signed in.) If you like, you can also send a message to Michelle or Mana to check and make sure we got your submission.

WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, HERE ARE NOVEMBER’S ANGEL FISH AWARDS!

Nominated by @deanwinchesterswitch​

One And One Make Three (series) by @supernatural-jackles​

This series was absolutely stunning, beautifully written, and an amazing rollercoaster of emotion. Jen handled some very sensitive subject matters with grace and wit. It has ALL the feels; I cried, laughed, and loved right along with the characters.

Nominated by @manawhaat​

Heart Of A Killer (series) by @wi-deangirl77

I love, love, LOVE, this series! The storytelling is done so simply but so effectively. Things come together beautifully and the dialogue throughout the series (and largely in ch.3) has an incredible flow and easiness to it. This tells you the story without all the bullshit but definitely with all the juicy drama and Ketch-i-ness that an Arthur Ketch lover could want.

The Right Kind Of Wrong (oneshot) @kittenofdoomage

I’m a slut for a Winchester sandwich and this one delivers. It’s Rhi. Just fucking read it and thank her for existing, okay?

Castiel Imagine (oneshot) by @webcricket

I don’t read too much Castiel because, even though I love him, I have a hard time finding authors who nail his character the way I want to read him but Cricket always gets him spot on! This is light-hearted, flirty, sweet, and hints at sexy. Plus, a flustered Dean is never not funny.

Nominated by @lovetusk​

It All Started With Some Itching Powder (series) by @iflostreturntosteverogers​

You’ve got to love brotherly banter and prank war aftermath.

When You Fall (series) by @flamencodiva​

I stumbled across this bad boy by accident and totally forgot I was suppose to be writing / editing because it sucked me in so good and I ended up binging all the chapters.

Nominated by @princessmisery666​

Sam’s Holiday Fluff (oneshot) by @crispychrissy​

This one made my heart smile. It was sweet and the characters were on point. It was nice to read Sam getting a happy moment ;)

Just Friends (oneshot) by @crashdevlin​

This one was painful but I still want more. I need part 2. Which is a testament to the awesome writing and the awesomely wicked idea ;-)

Like Art, Like Fire (series) by @fangirlxwritesx67​

I loved this. Love me some Sam anyway, but this was perfect. There were so many lines that had me swooning but one of my favs was - “Your bodies looked like art, lascivious art. In his grasp you were comfortable and beautiful and utterly shameless.”

Love it!!

Nominated by @thoughtslikeaminefield​

I Believe That Strippers Are The Future (oneshot) by @cherry3point14​

Everything Cherry Pie writes is so funny until it’s suddenly hot. This one’s particularly hilarious and then scorching.

The Crumbling Difference Between Wrong and Right by @stusbunker​

I joked that I was no longer talking to Stuart Marie (not her name, but that’s what I call her) after she wrote this and sent it to me, but I kid. That said it’s fucking heartbreaking, and her words and arrangement thereof are so beautiful I wanna cry.

Not All Mutants Are Monsters (oneshot) by @negans-lucille-tblr​

I sent this prompt to Bethany Elizabeth (not her name, but that’s what I call her) and never thought she’d take it. Alas, it is written and it is DIVINE. I lovvvvvvve Wanda + Dean + Natasha. Ugh, so much.

Rambling (series) by @crispychrissy​

The characterizations, the goddess, Dean. LOL I love this fic. It’s sassy (I was actually picturing the latest incarnation of Lillith as the goddess) and suspenseful and just balls out fun.

Need (oneshot) by @rockhoochie

This is cozy and sexy and so gratifying. This is exactly what Dean (and we all) needed after the Michael debacle.

Nominated by @mrswhozeewhatsis​

Anything You Can Do (oneshot) by @kittenofdoomage

Just good old-fashioned smut with both brothers that just hits the spot. It’s like Thanksgiving dinner. This is comfort food for the fangirl libido!

Dad Gets Awkward About These Things (oneshot) by @fictionalabyss

This is so adorable! Awkward Dad!Dean, suave and all-knowing Uncle Sam, this is perfect!

You’ve Got Me Begging (series) by @negans-lucille-tblr

Holy SHIT this shit is the SHIT, man. It’s got everything! Smut with all three Winchesters, plus tender moments with Sam, F/F for those who are into that, kinks galore, and intrigue, to boot! The plot twist in the most recent chapter has me completely flabbergasted. I really didn’t see that one coming!! Just, you know, HOLY SHIT!!!

Start of Something Good (series) by @tricia-16

It took me a while to narrow this down to just one fic of Tricia’s to nominate now that she’s a member of the Pond, but I finally settled on this one. It’s got Dad!Cas, toddler Claire being adorable as hell, lots of delicious angst for Dean and Cas to work through, and all the pining! I love to hate it when they just need to accept that it’s all good, but they can’t quite, yet, so they PINE. Tricia’s stories are so REAL, and it’s so refreshing. There’s some violence in this one you might not like, so check the tags!

Crash Into Me (series) by @crashdevlin

Some folks don’t like OFCs, but I love them, and this series is definitely worth reading, even if you don’t! I’m rooting for a happy ending for Crash! And Dean’s trying so hard. This one hurts so good!

Nominated by @littlehotmess26​

Dear Santa (oneshot) by @sorenmarie87​

She did a great job on this fic after taking a little break and I am so proud of her! This fic is so cute with Dean writing a letter to the big man in red!

The Mobster’s Girl (series) by @fictionalabyss​

Mel has worked extremely hard on this set of series and it shows. It’s well thought out and executed. Her writing grabs you and takes you along for an incredible ride!

Nominated by @wingedcatninja​

Hark And Hush (oneshot) by @thoughtslikeaminefield​

I’m not usually that much into purgatory!Dean, but this fic is a hauntingly dark delve into Dean’s mind. It made me feel emotions, and that’s what a good fic is supposed to do.

Thank you all for the awesome work and great feedback!

As with the BFAs, these are not actual awards! This system is set up so everyone in the pond has a chance to share the love and promote a fic/author that has grabbed your attention. The more people that participate, and the more everyone remembers to submit their own fics after posting, the better this will be :D

THANK YOU ALL AGAIN, KEEP UP THE AMAZING WORK, AND AS ALWAYS, HAPPY WRITING!

[kae-karo]

What are your opinions on the debate going on in the phandom about adults writing smut about minors?

oof first of all i haven’t seen this argument/discussion myself, and it is a seriously challenging topic to address but i’ll do my best to express my thoughts on the matter - please note, i fully intend to talk about both sides to this discussion but i have to start somewhere, so if people are intent on arguing, at least read the entire thing first

on one hand, there are many adults who deal with their experiences or traumas they had at a younger age through writing - and i understand the argument not to publish those works so as to prevent normalizing it, but there are also kids who are that age who have experienced/are experiencing similar things, and who might benefit from seeing that someone else experienced it as well (and is doing okay/still surviving/etc as an adult). they may also be providing advice that they’d wished they had in that situation, or prior to that situation, that kids who are or might end up going through that situation could benefit from. and i don’t necessarily believe that adults shouldn’t be ‘allowed’ to write about those topics, because again, it may be therapeutic both for them to write it and for others at that age to read it, but i think that it should be very clearly tagged so that people who want to avoid that content can avoid it

i also think that, while it isn’t everything, intent is important - an author who’s writing about underage sexual encounters with the intent of just....writing smut between minors for shits and giggles/cause they think it’s hot/etc is creating a more problematic situation than providing a space where other minors with similar experiences can go ‘oh, this happened to me, i’m not alone in feeling [whatever they feel] about it’. but authors who incorporate situations into their works in order to say ‘hey, i don’t think it’s necessarily good/right/etc that i had to experience this (whether it be trauma of some kind, sex before they were ready for it or just sex as a teenager, etc) but i want other people to see this and know that if they’re in the same boat, i’m okay now, and you’ll be okay too’. there’s also something to be said about having some wisdom/advice/knowledge looking back on the events and being able to impart that wisdom through a work

now, i absolutely need to address the other side of the argument here: nobody, kids or otherwise, should feel pressured into having sexual encounters before they’re ready. and the thing that writing a lot of underage smut can do is it can create the stigma (or, really, propagate the stigma) that having sexual encounters at a young age is normal and expected. now, that’s not to say kids aren’t having sexual encounters at that age - i have no doubt that some of them are, but nobody should feel like they’re ‘behind’ or strange or whatever for not wanting to engage in sexual behaviors

and that’s like. layer one of the many problems that can occur - but i also see the flipside of this which is to say ‘well if kids are having sex at that age, shouldn’t they at least be exposed to some healthier sexual behaviors they might not see from peers/etc?’ which, yeah, i agree with that - i don’t necessarily agree that kids should be having sex, but if they are, then yeah let’s help educate where we can. but it doesn’t change the potential downsides, including the fact that there are just as many fics with misinformation about sex as there are that encourage healthy sex. and to the argument about better sex ed (and ofc that we should not relying on fandoms to relay healthy sexual behaviors) - yeah, duh, but kids may stumble into a fandom/be a part of a fandom without having any access to (reliable) health resources on sex (again, not that fic is reliable, but there are definitely authors out there making an effort). they may also be in situations where they wouldn’t be able to/allowed to visit planned parenthood’s (or equivalent’s) website to research that information themselves, either because of parents or someone else, but might be able to get away with reading fic. this is a whole other discussion i think but the only point here is that fic can be another potential tool for either good information or misinformation for kids who are already sexually active

i also often see the ‘adults are sexualizing minors’ argument, but i think this one’s a bit off base - yes, there are adults that are sexualizing minors which is a very very wrong thing to do, but i really don’t think every single person writing about sexual encounters between minors is doing so in a ‘it’s hot’ kind of way. again, i have to call back to the idea of writing to work through one’s own experiences - most authors will say they’re writing about the things that happened to them as kids, through the lens of a character that’s more well-known. the goal, as with a lot of writing, is to say ‘hey, look, this is a story about me and how i went through this thing, did this happen to anyone else? if so, we’re not alone, and i think things are gonna turn out okay’. or, as mentioned before, to add some kind of layer of advice or wisdom that’s come with time

anyway, on a very high level, i don’t think i’ll ever be able to lay down a blanket statement that says ‘[adults writing smut about minors/adults not writing smut about minors] is the Correct thing’ because that puts a lot of discouragement in both directions - kids that see that might get the idea that hey, they’re not ever going to be allowed to write about what happened to them/what’s happening right now/what they wish had happened once they reach adulthood/reach some kind of higher understanding about it because it might get ripped apart, and adults are told that they can’t write about it either, in spite of the fact that it allows them to help understand/cope with/advise on/reflect on what happened to them. but by the same token, you will always have the trash people who just write underage smut cause it’s hot and they want to, with little to no regard for how that could impact some kid who’s already feeling immense pressure to engage in sexual acts or who may have, up until reading the fifth fic about underage sex, had no interest in sex but now they think it’s a part of being a teen and they should be seeking it out. and the really dangerous thing about all that is it’s very very hard to tell what kind of story is actually being told when you stumble onto a fic at 2am that happens to include underage sex in the tags. the whole thing is too gray to say ‘it’s always right or wrong’

now, all that said, i personally don’t feel comfortable writing about/reading underage smut because i feel like all the things i experienced as a teenager are things that weren’t inherent to the fact that i was a teenager, and i’m perfectly comfortable reading/writing them through the lens of an adult character

[aesjae]

Boyfriend! Chen Le

#10 of Boyfriend! Series

Taeil | Johnny | Taeyong | Yuta | Kun | Doyoung | Ten | Jaehyun | WinWin | Jungwoo | Lucas | Mark | Xiao Jun | Hendery | Renjun | Jeno | Haechan | Jaemin | Yang Yang | Chen Le | Jisung

Style/ Genre: Headcanon/ - Word Count: 1,492 Date posted: 4 Dec 2017

so finally! ! our beloved happy-go-lucky dolphin

he’s like the same age as me gosh

so this hyperactive little boy would be one of the most hyperactive boyfriends ever ( i mean- )

he would also be one of the most positive and carefree ones

for me, i would say that considering his age and personality

he wouldn’t take relationships that seriously

not saying that he would not be committed to the relationship

in fact, he would be a really loyal boyfriend even though sometimes he might be too playful to seem like it

instead, he would take relationships as a special bond between two fated best friends 

chen le being a boyfriend will be like asdfghjkl adorbs af? 

like chen le would be that clingy boyfriend yet not so clingy boyfriend 

when he feels needy and in need of love, he’ll cling onto you like some koala 

those would be the times when he will be super whiny, whining to you to give him more of your attention 

“euhhhhh (Y/N)~ you go out with your friends so often it’s like you forgot about me :-((( look at me more pleaseeeeee” 

// literally wraps both of his arms around you tightly //

“.-. chenle-ahhhh, you have your Dreamies and hyungs too!! you know i don’t meet my friends often because of school, so...”

“But the hyungs have their girlfriends/ boyfriends too!!!! they give more attention to their s/o instead of me :-( gimme more tooooo”

you: // looks at chen le’s cute pouty face, heart melts, sighs // 

but ofc, chen le would be understanding of you! 

he wouldn’t be extremely whiny and will give you personal space for you to lead your own personal life

he might be quite involved in your personal life, but would know when to give you the space and privacy when needed

depend on chen le to be your positivity influencer! !

chen le is a naturally positive and cheerful person

so having him as a boyfriend would mean LOTS of smiles and laughter

even if you are miles away from him

text messaging him or calling him themselves will make your shitty day so much better

because chen le is like a light bulb -- bright and alluring

and also that he becomes the light that guides you out of your dark times

he would be very supportive

understanding your problems and difficulties

chen le himself has been through stardom since a young age

thus he would understand what it is like to face tremendous stress in society

especially due to the expectations of other people

he would crouch down to you

gently taking your hands that were covering your face out of helplessness and defeat into his

burying your face in his shoulders

and he would stay silent 

as he knew that what you needed most was company

and emotional and mental support

hence, his physical presence would comfort you the most, and he knew that

sometimes, if you were really feeling at your wits and really frustrated

chen le may softly sing a song for you

allowing his smooth and soothing voice to heal the wounds in your heart

i mean have you heard predebut chen le’s singing like omg it’s like the absolute lullaby 

for some reason, even though chen le has a very outgoing and loud personality,

when it comes to emotional and mental stuff like these

i feel that he would adopt a more mature and quiet manner towards them

naturally, he would not only be a sensible young guy, but a sensible and respectful boyfriend as well

that’s actually really amazing considering his young age

similarly like jeno, he might treat you to your favourite food, like taking you out for ice cream dates etc.

or just pulling you out of your house silently

and allowing chen le to bring wherever he was bringing you since you were too despondent to look up

only to realise that chen le had brought you to the place of your comfort food

as long as he saw you still eating normally even during tough times, he would be glad

as he smiles warmly at you as you slowly chew on your food

he would be a really very understand s/o so he would be careful with his words whenever he sensed that you were feeling off

that would be quiet side of sweet and caring chen le for you

here comes fun chen le lmao

we definitely cannot forget that chen le is still a very playful kid

hence, both of you would be leading a relationship full of naive and pure (adolescent) love

in fact, after knowing chen le and getting into a relationship with him, 

you would have realised that your days had became happier and you seldom would have any dark ones

because whenever you were on the urge of feeling down, 

chen le would coincidentally find you and start hanging out with you

not allowing you to wallow in your own sadness

but ofc, that was a good thing

well, okay, fights.

i mEAN PLAY FIGHTS 

chen le is also very adventurous

so adventurous + playful would definitely equate to some very exhausting but fun activities down with him

like water fights, laser tag, paintball, etc.

even though these activities are usually more fun being played in large groups,

playing them with chen le would still be a blast

every now and then, 

your and chen le’s neighbours would be able to witness you and chen le chasing each other around with water/ paint bombs in each of your hands, 

both of you drenched in either water or multicolour liquid 

it might have seemed like child play

but tbh

whoever witnesses the both of you having fun with each other

would envy both of you so much

because it was evident that both of you would be having so much fun and enjoying each other’s company

anybody who sees both of you would just wish to have a relationship as carefree and pure as both of yours

oh but sometimes you might be jealous ey

especially when chen le and jisung start to spend too much time together

and chen le may momentarily forget about you

suddenly, you may realise that chen le is playing frisbee, playing football, playing nintendo, watching movies, pranking the other nct members, all with jisung

and barely with you

this might upset you a bit

chen le might be quite carried away too 

especially after a whole hectic promotion

he might have been hurried to spend some rest time with his members, and his best friend

hence, he might have accidentally forgotten about his most special best friend that had been waiting for his return since the start of his promotions

observant and sensible dream leader Mark would have noticed this

and he might take a seat beside you,  and maybe just casually chat with you because you seemed quite despondent sitting all alone

after chatting with you, Mark would found out the reason behind you sulking in a corner, and might approach chen le 

for a moment chen le would be like ???? (Y/N)????? sulking??? why?? where??

but then when Mark continued talking

chen le would reflect upon the past few days when he purely focused on resting and having a break with the dream members that he totally forgot about you

he would rush up to you and be like super apologetic

giving you an adorable puppy face

“sorry (Y/N)-ahhhh i didn’t mean to forget about you :-( you know how hectic our promotions were, i guess i just got too carried away thinking about taking a break with the members... ㅠㅠ you know i still constantly have you on my mind”

you might try to tease him

“yeah... sure... constantly on your mind only to be thrown to a corner, completely isolated and forgotten like an abandoned rag doll :-(”

“ㅠㅠ don’t be like thissss forgive me your highnesssss,,,,,,”

“;;-;; okay, you are forgiven you stupid prince”

“huehue, i promise i won’t forget about you again. and btw, you are definitely more beautiful and more precious than a rag doll :-D 따랑해! ! ! (saranghae but with a lisp)” //makes a big heart with his arms above his head//

yeah i have no idea what to say for chen le HAHA

but overall, 

a relationship with chen le would definitely be so cute it would be admired by many of your peers! !

even your parents may fondly look over the both of you and be reminded by their young days together

and while they think about the young days they had spent together till the present

chen le would be thinking about the days when he would spend his future growing older by every second with you by his side

laughing, smiling and being in the company of his one and only, irreplaceable, special best friend that he loves

[unedited]

[argaliaofficial]

i started typing this earlier but then had to go to work so now im just gonna finish it so i get it off my chest

back when i was with my first ex, meg, we went to this private christian school i prolly made a post about this on here before but its topical right now i didnt sleep at all and im tired enough to spill my fucking guts out some more 

so anyway we went to this private christian school and thats when it happened. ive honestly repressed a lot of my time there i was not doing great but what i do remember just makes me feel sick. like, meg aside, the school just sucked. 

for context the way it was set up was that we had “placement tests” to see where we were in subjects like math and english, and however we did made us get placed in PACEs according to our skill level. in theory this is fine i suppose, but the thing was that there were no alternatives to the PACEs. 

PACEs were part of the learning curriculum of our school which was ACE- Accelerated Christian Learning. they were basically little study pamphlets that went over instructions on how to learn certain subjects and whatnot, while also having a christian perspective on things. scripture verses were abundent in them, and they had like a continuous series of comics going in there about their character Ace Virtuson and friends. 

Along with the PACEs, the classrooms were set up like an “office” of sorts with cubicles that you sat in. For me honestly that was one of the many hells because it was so cramping and clinical and I just do not learn well in that sort of environment. so you’d sit quietly for like 8 hours a day with occassional breaks with nothing but your PACE pamphlets to work on. you couldnt speak to any body, and if you needed help, there was a flag system in place where you’d put a flag up and have to sit around and wait for a teacher to come assist you, and usually their assistance only lasted briefly because theres countless OTHER students to get to, and nepotism is a thing and if they dont like you or think of you as a problem kid, you’re less likely to get the aid you need.

i was one of those problem kids. 

early on, i could manage that set up when my work was easier, but when i hit “high school age” and got into more advance work i began to suffer horribly. it didnt help that at this time, i got with meg, but less about her right now and more about how this school system fucking failed me and others tbh 

i do not learn by reading information. at least, i dont retain it. i need to discuss with people, with my peers and professors. i need one on one sometimes, especially with math- my biggest struggle. but how the school was set up made that sort of learning almost impossible. your peers were all at different levels, so group discussion was rare. their were attempts, but they never lasted long, and the extent of the help basically surmounted to the teachers just reading what the PACEs already said and vaguely explaining more, and that blew. 

so, me, being a hands on group learner who has to talk and listen to even retain information and needs to be allowed to move around often instead of being cramped up, started to fall behind in my studies. badly. and of course, instead of the teachers trying to asses WHY it was you were falling behind, you got written up and had to have your parents sign a slip. you could get written up for a few things and these were always detentions of sorts. usually they were lunch but if you were bad enough you’d get an after school one. i accumulated these almost once a day and after a while i got tired of having my parents sign them EVERY SINGLE day and just forged their signatures. i got away with that like 75% of the time lol 

like they were just for the same shit ‘oh ur kid didnt do their homework blah blah ur kids out of dress code blah blah” and so i was just “whatever” because like... nothing seemed to change i was just being perpetually punished for being unable to keep up in my studies. my parents tried to get a math tutor for me but halfway thru i think freshman year she moved and that was that

i got so fucking sick of just being behind while my other peers seemed to be moving forward that i started bullshitting my work just to get thru. ofc that didnt do anything because i wasnt learning the work, and because i lied about my answers and cheated i got punished again. and i was just like “whatever” 

i cried all the time. parent teacher conferences were hell. i always cried. it felt like i couldnt convey to them why i was such a fuckup. like i wasnt making sense, or i was being overemotional. instead of trying to make changes they just talked about how i had to work harder. least i think. i’ll be honest i always just disassociated during those meetings before going into meltdown mode.

on top of that, i was in a “gay” relationship with a classmate, and lots of bad stuff happened. ive always had an overactive imagination. great for being a wannabe artist. not so great when youre already an easily manipulated undiagnosed autistic child. me, her, and my current gf actually had our own little world! thinking back on this now, for me at least it was escapism to try and just cope with how miserable i was at school 

i dont know how soon in the “relationship” it was before things got sexual. my concept of time during those years at foursquare is so scattered. according to posts ive seen on dA me and her were together or at least “friends” for 2 years? so actually i think my saying “freshman year in high school” is inaccurate and things got bad the tail end of middle school and continued until i was a sophomore before switching schools.

ANYWAY, so yeah, along with all this school nonsense, i was in a gay relationship, one that was abusive in many aspects. ofc at the time i didnt know that i was being abused! i just thought yknow her forcing herself into me sexually was kinda par the course and i was already kinda a sexually curious kid growing up so like.. i was looking for that i guess? it hurting cuz she went in dry is just to be expected, yadda yadda. pretty sure i cried? and i know for a fact that i still sleep in the room where she raped me like that and its sometimes just “yea i was literally right in that spot when i was raped lol”

and she would constantly want me to touch her sexually too, and when i said “no” and pulled my hand away that she had been trying to force down her pants because i wasnt personally ready to do that she’d always complain and make me feel bad cuz i wasnt comfortable touching her. “i always get you off but you never get me off!” 

and at the time i didnt just tell her to fuck off cuz i didnt know any better. i didnt know that it was ok for me to not be ready to do that. i thought i was a bad person for not being ready to pleasure my partner, even tho its not my fault if shes ok w/ pleasuring me, and im ok with being pleasured (even tho tbh it was hit or miss sometimes she just did it lol), but im not ready to touch her, i guess? and like i tried to communicate with her and im pretty sure i told her that if she didnt wanna jerk me off cuz i couldnt do it to her yet that was fine but whatever

on the fourth of july she started groping me out in public while we watched the fireworks and i remember trying to get her to stop cuz i wasnt comfy with doing this in public cuz a) this was years ago and homophobia was a lot more common especially in this boonies town and b) i dont like seeing other couples being handsy in public so i dont want to be handsy in public either

and i remember while shes groping my chest and im trying to get her to stop theres this group of older kids in front of us and they see. and they start snickering. they started snickering at the sight. and i was so mortified and wanted to die.

looking back those kids should get hit by a fucking bus for laughing at someone getting molested and being obviously uncomfortable with it but i guess its funny cuz “lesbians! haha look at that pervy lesbo touching that other lesbian!”

and thats the story of why every fourth of july i want to kill myself

things kept progressing, ofc. i remember one night, while we were camping, i finally caved and fingered her. i forced myself to think “yeah ok i can do this” and i just thought the crippling anxiety i felt was cuz i was nervous to be intimate with my girlfriend for the first time like this, but really i was probably scared she was gonna hurt me since by that point she had. she had made herself perfectly clear in her mannerisms and tone of voice that she was stronger and bigger than me and could hurt me. 

and a few occasions she did. one time she started choking me so badly that i honestly thought “oh my god, shes going to kill me here at school”. i still sometimes feel her nails digging into my throat, and i dont think ive ever been as terrified in my life as i was in that moment. i dont think she would have stopped had a teacher not intervened. 

there was only one time i ever hit her, and that was before school started, and i had finally lost my shit over how much she kept fucking with me. all i remember was i came to school angry at her. over what i dont remember. she was always toying with my emotions, and i think that it had built up over the time that i finally snapped walked into class before school started, walked over to where she and alyss were talking, and a slapped her across the face before i walked over to my desk

i dont think i got in trouble for that cuz no one snitched? idk i mightve, but i didnt care. i was angry at her, angry at the school, and suicidal. 

i remember one time during a break i was crying. a teacher from another class came up to me and asked what was wrong. i told her i wanted to die. she just looked at me all uncomfortable. i think she mightve said something before walking off?

nothing came of that. 

i was more worried that i would get in trouble for being in a gay relationship than as apposed to thinking that these teachers- people who are supposed to protect their students- would help me. i gave up on them even recognizing the signs of me being abused. i feel like they wouldnt have even taken it as seriously as we were both “girls”, and this was back before talk of how women can be abusive was more common place. abuse was still strictly seen as male on female violence. and to some people, gay violence was comedic. 

eventually, one night, it all came to light. at least, that she and i were sexually involved. that week was a blur. she was taken out of school. it was brushed under the rug. everyone trying to save face i guess and keep other kids from finding out, but somehow i always felt like they knew. they knew that she was taken out of school because of me. because we were gay

i tried to move on, but my studies never got better. i just grew more jaded. i never did any work. i mouthed off to the teachers, continued getting detentions and just plainly stopped caring. no one could get me to do anything. i would play hooky. 

and that was just.... my life. perpetual anger at a system that failed me spectacularly. to this day i still hate that place. i cant be there. i was groped and molested and it was treated like nothing

so yeah

thanks for listening to my ted talks