#and since she also had kidney failure it would be able to build up to such an absurd level

[cesium-sheep]

ah dang obviously I'd heard about the fruity garlic lady before since I watched every episode of buzzfeed unsolved but apparently 1. it was the next town over from where arin is working now which. yknow. makes the described awful conditions of the hospital make sense lol, and 2. it's been solved in the time since the buzzfeed unsolved video about it.

[lexerah]

I’m really trying to hold on. It’s really hard man.. I guess from the outside looking in it seems like my whole world got turned upside down because of a girl but she really was the major thing keeping me going cause I felt like she was the only person who understood me/wasn’t really judgemental of who I really am. My whole life I felt like I never fitted in so I turned to music, poetry, skateboarding, & basketball and that was my escape. Up until around age 12/13 I was pretty much mute. I didn’t talk much. And when I came home there was either no one home or if my parents were home I’d be verbally abused for being so “quiet/secluded in my room” or my mom and I would argue back and forth and it would end with her saying “I wish you got hit by a bus” or “I wish you would die”.. Hearing that often just killed my spirit most of the times. I would then stay in my room longer or even turn to cutting by using a metal hanger. All during that time I was battling my sexuality and the fear from my parents when they would say things like “gays should burn” or other homophobic slurs/speeches. I didn’t know what to do. I hated myself for being gay. I hated that “it had to happen to me”. There were several years where I wish I wasn’t born like this.. fast forward and more trauma just started piling on :( my dad didn’t make it to most of my basketball games because he worked 2 jobs and that hurt a lot because it was something I was really good at and I felt like my parents would be proud/I would be “good enough”.. my dad was then diagnosed with kidney failure during my senior year of hs.. it was scary for us all.. I didn’t want to lose my dad.. for most of my senior year my dad was in and out of the hospital for long periods and I remember one time breaking down in tears because he was in the icu and I thought he was going to die that week.. he wasn’t able to go to my hs graduation because he was in the hospital still so that was another blow. a few months after highschool my mom attempted suicide when I took my little sister on a walk.. we both came home and found her unresponsive on the floor with a suicide note. I had to calm my little sister down while making sure my mom was still alive and while calling 911.. then my dad walked in a few mins later and he started blaming me for what happened and yelling “what did I do!” fast forward to while my mom was in the hospital recovering and both my sisters and I didn’t feel like ourselves.. we didn’t want to do anything and we just kept crying and my dad starts yelling at us/verbally abusing us saying that we shouldn’t be crying and that we need to stop crying. It really sucked.. that feeling on top of everything was painful.. so again fast forward to about 1.5-2 years after hs and my mom decides to separate from my dad and wanted to live in another city and she asked me if I wanted to live with her or stay with my dad. All during this time we never had a good relationship and I thought it was a really good opportunity to build on the relationship with my mom.. then a month or two before we moved to the new city my mom lashed out all of her fears, anger & resentment towards my dad at me saying it’s all my fault and that’s when the panic attacks started. (I’m sorry for the choppy writing.. it’s really hard writing this but I know I need to get it out) I remember a week or so before we moved and all of our stuff was pretty much packed for the move and my mom wanted to see her old best friend one last time at the theatres and have burgers after and that’s when I had my first major panic attack. I was sitting in the theatre and I thought I was dying. It literally felt like a black hole cause I didn’t know what it was at the time. I thought I was having a heart attack so I just waited in the lobby until the movie was over cause I went back in 1 time for a few minutes and another one came. I ended up having 3 or 4 a week for a few months and then went to IOP for 2 months around 2014 and it helped a lot with talking out stuff/processing my thoughts.

But most importantly it helped me see that there were other people out there going through similar things and it made me not feel alone.. fast forward to a year later my dog passed away when we came to visit my dad since it was his turn to watch the dogs and it was also best for him because he was living alone back in our old city :( it was really hard taking my dog to the vet when he passed🥺 a few months after that I started to lose my hearing in one ear from an ear infection and that really brought me down cause I’m a music producer and I rely on my hearing to fine tune stuff.. all during this time while I was losing my hearing I was dating this girl who had cheated on me with several guys/past boyfriends and thats when I really started feeling like I was being kicked while I was down.. literally during the time I was crying about her but mostly why someone would do something like that and take me on a trip just to tell me they still have feelings for their ex/cry about them, my mom had punched feeling in my face for crying about her and told me to stop crying or pack my bags. That was probably one of the most traumatic things because I really felt like I had no one to talk to and I felt really alone. All while my bestfriend back in my old city promised to visit but never did :/ I had no one but my little sis who was my best friend and I’m super grateful she was born cause without her honestly I wouldn’t be here. I literally raised her for 2-3 years and took her everywhere to just escape everything at home. It was a blessing that I had money from music to do all those mini trips/food runs.. it was a huge blessing man. So fast forward to a year later around 2016/2017 my grandfather started having major strokes and was in and out of a hospice and later passed away towards the end of 2017. It was too much all while my mom and little sister had moved to a different state and my dad had a kidney transplant.. I was his caretaker and my older sister didn’t help :/ I literally was breaking down everyday because I was asking why is this all coming down on me :/

I’m literally crying right now because right around that time I met someone really incredible and it just hit me rn. She was the light at the end of the tunnel in a sense. Now that I look back at things, her coming into my life at that time saved me. And maybe writing this was the answer I was looking for as to why I saw her picture 10-15 years before I even met her during the time when all the pain started in my life. Meeting her/her come into my life might be the message that everything’s going to be okay. Man.. idek what to think rn. She really is an angel in a sense cause she saved me from myself and helped me see that I have the ability to heal.. and of course I wish things ended differently cause I still love her but that’s out of my control. I have to heal and move on but also forgive myself and forgive my past and most importantly allow myself to heal. I have to fall in love with myself and love me unconditionally. I want to be one of the greatest music producers ever and have an amazing wife, kids, and beautiful house but that can’t happen if I don’t heal and forgive.

If anyone read this up to this point you’re beyond special to me and I don’t know how to thank you but it means the world to me that you read my story. I don’t like sharing because it’s really painful and makes me feels extremely vulnerable so thank you so much🥺🤧 thank you🤧🙏 I love you🤟💕

[feralnumberfive]

I expect no one to read this at all. It’s more of a way to get some feelings off of my chest. This is a look into my personal life and what I went through in 2020. I cried quite a bit while writing this, haha.

My farewell letter to 2020:

To you 2020, the year that shook the world. You’re certainly one to go down in the record books. You changed my life as you did to everyone. To you, the month of March. I had hit the lowest part in my life since the shock of my parent's divorce 11 years ago. My beloved cat had died in October of 2019, a few days short of our one year anniversary of fostering him, which soon turned into us adopting him. It was sudden and unexpected. I still can remember clear as day that horrid call I got from my sister from the vet. “Hey, we need you to come up here. It’s kidney failure.” As she spoke through her tears, I instantly began to cry. I had felt sad for months after that. 

In December of 2019, the adoptive dad of one of my closest friends committed suicide. She was torn apart, having had three people she knew died earlier that year. I stood by her side and watched her cry. We colored together in the counseling room, making small talk and doing anything I could to comfort her. 

From late February into March, another one of my closest friends revealed to me a traumatic experience she went through. She had been raped by a classmate of mine, one who I considered to be good acquaintances. She was a grade younger than me, and was practically completely dependent on me and my friend, as she was too scared to tell her parents. She eventually completely relied on my friend as I became shoved out of the problem. Her story and the amount of support required from her, which she never gave back to me throughout our friendship, made me realize at that moment I had hit rock bottom. I was tired and so sick of it all. This sentence that I'm about to say is one I've never admitted to anyone: I didn't want to be around anymore, or at least alive. I needed somewhere to escape. I didn't want to commit suicide due to expectations I held upon myself. I was also too scared to commit suicide. 

I finally admitted I needed help, which was scary for me to do. In March of you, 2020, I was diagnosed with situational depression. I was soon put on an anti-depressant. It felt good to put a name on it, but little did I know I would pay the price for my relief. Preparing to go off to college, I needed to get a First Class Medical Certificate in order to apply to the flight program at the colloege I wanted to go to. I went and got my FAA Medical Certificate done, ticking off the boxes on my journey to fulfill my life long dream of becoming a pilot. 

Spring Break came and after watching schools around me close, it was announced that we wouldn't be returning until mid April, and then the end of April, then until May. I quickly realized it wasn't possible to return and that unbeknownst to me I had already spent the last days of my Senior year at school in March. A frantic question was suddenly formed amongst my classmates and soon the world: Will the class of 2020 graduate? I, being burnt out, didn't care what would happen to me or my class. We soon became a laughing stock and a sight to pity around the world. Class of 2020, Corona Class, The Class that would be telling this story to their kids. It didn't matter to me. As I held up the “Class of 2020″ shirt my uncle got me with the zeros as tp rolls, I sighed. I just wanted to graduate without getting laughed at. Spoiler Alert: That didn't happen. 

Around this time I ended my friendship with the girl who I cherished but didn't cherish me back. I still to this day can’t exactly understand why I did that. I blocked her and left without saying goodbye. That wasn’t the right thing to do at all. She had been raped and needed support, but here I was leaving her. She always needed and wanted my support but never gave it back. It was always “Aw you have a problem? Here, let’s try this minimal effort plan to help you. That didn’t work? Oh well, let’s get back to me.” This is no excuse at all for my actions of cutting her off. I really still don’t know why I did this. I had hung out with her everyday in the summer of 2019. Here I was, easily letting her go. Jackie, I’m so sorry. I hope you are doing well and get into ISU to follow your dreams of being an engineer. 

In May I received news that still hurts and effects me to this day. I had been denied my Medical Certificate. It wasn't due to me being on an antidepressant, is was due to the fact that I was depressed. This was soul crushing news, but there was still a chance I could reapply for the Medical Certificate if I jumped through multiple hoops. May also provided the announcement that my safe haven in Oshkosh, Wisconsin wouldn't be happening this year. It was definitely understandable due to the virus, but still very saddening to me. It’s really the only thing I look forward to each year, but I understood and agreed on why it was canceled for 2020.

In June I got the news that a beloved teacher of my family and I passed away due to a heart attack and complications of Addison’s Disease. She was the best math teacher I had ever had, and the best in my High School. Math is my worst subject, but she never made me feel stupid like the other math teachers. She always made sure I understood what I was doing. Sometimes when she didn’t feel like having class she would have a free day. She would gossip with my classmates and tell us stories of her youth. Sometimes though she would give us free days due to having intense migraines that sometimes hospitalized her due to her disease. It wasn’t fun to see her like that. 

In June she was hospitalized where even her husband and two kids weren’t allowed in to see her. The only person allowed into her before she died was her twin brother. The family decided to have a public funeral, with tons of people in the community and school district socially distancing and wearing masks to pay their respect. I began to cry as I listened to her husband tell everyone that he wasn't ready and was so scared to be a single parent. Their children were both under ten, and were now motherless. Mrs. Johnson it was so hard saying goodbye to you. I loved you so much, and I still do. You gave my friend who had lost her dad food and comfort. You did so much not only for my family and I, but for everyone in the community and school district. I miss you so much. 

Hot days came with hazy skies. Everyday I checked the wildfire smoke map as I watched the sun turn bright pink as the sun became a blazing red when the sun went down. For weeks our sky looked hazy. Some days looked cloudy, but it was actually smoke. As someone who lives the Midwest, this was quite surprising. 

In August I experienced something that will forever be remembered by me and everyone who lives in my state. A Derecho tore through and ravaged my hometown and the state that I dearly love. We watched through the window as trees snapped in half and branches and leaves whirled around everywhere. We watched through the window as water roared down the road, appearing as if a stream had started right next to us. We watched in fear as shingles were torn off and large items were blown through our yard. As the electricity flickered out, we wondered if we would be crushed by either tree that were on two sides of our house. Wet leaves were torn apart and slammed into our window, where they stayed there for a month afterwards. They looked like confetti, torn into thousands of tiny pieces. 

To the branches and trees I still see today in the neighboring towns and cities, broken reminders of the damage done. To you, the metal grain bins that still sit out in the flattened cornfields. Our once tall and proud cornfields that are a proud symbol of my state were now flattened to the ground, completely parallel to the rich farming soil that it stood in. Painting the countryside in flat waves of green with splotches of silver from grain bins and white from barns and houses damaged. Our proud stalks became damaged goods that costed us billions. To the buildings that still show their battle scars from months ago, the houses with the tarps on their roofs and the old wooden barns that couldn't handle the 140 mph. To you, Donald J, Trump, the President of the United States who was supposed to tour Cedar Rapids to exam the damage that still lies there today. You stayed in the airport and immediately left after getting your business done. You didn't care about us, you were there to do business and leave to start your campaigning.

My small town was able to clean up within a month or so, but even still TODAY the bigger cities are littered with damage. There are tree trunks and branches scattered along roads. Thousands of houses still have tarps on their houses and siding missing. 

In August my grandma was also diagnosed with Dementia. I've watched her deteriorate over the past few months. Every time we call she forgets that I’m not in school. Sometimes she forgets my name. When we tell her we’re on our way to visit outside her window, she forgets within 10 minutes. Grandma, I hope you never forget that I love you.

In September I finally met with a therapist. I am so thankful to be working with her. After months of my family getting angry and upset at me for being scared to go to the store, my therapist diagnosed me with Social Anxiety. I was so relieved to be diagnosed with it and to be working out the issues I have with my therapist. We work together weekly to help me become a better and more comfortable version of myself. 

Over the summer months the health of my already diseased cat took a steep decline. She was my cat, and I felt powerless as I slowly watched her die. She could no longer stay inside due to her having constant accidents. As we made our plan to take her to the vet to give her a peaceful death, I received a heartbreaking call from my mother on a cold September night. My little Jill had passed away in her sleep on our porch. I came over to say goodbye to my baby as I pet her cold fur one last time. I love you my little Jilly Bean and I miss you everyday. I miss and love you so so so much. 

September also brought the news that a precious B-25 had a crash landing. It always hurts to hear about a Warbird crashing or getting damaged. I was happy to hear though that they were going to fix it back to airworthiness.

In October I had to make a difficult decision with the FAA. Do I try to visit four different doctors for phycological examinations in order to complete my Medical Certificate or do I wait to get off my medicine and start feeling better on my own? I opted for the second part due to the decline of visiting all of those doctors coming up in November. We had been given that option early in the year, but Covid prevented us from traveling out of state to see those doctors. I sent a letter to the FAA to let them know what I was doing. I received a letter about a month ago that stated that I still needed to visit those doctors or something like that. I honestly didn’t look through it that well because it’s just such a pain in the butt.

Another thing about you 2020 is that you provided me with he opportunity to meet amazing people. I began to watch The Umbrella Academy in September, but I decided to make my account on October 1st. I’ve met tons of funny and talented people on here. The show itself had provided me tons of comfort. It has given me the courage to start writing fanfiction for it along with starting back up on drawing fanart

The end of 2020 has slowed down for me. One of my aviation heroes died this year, Mr. Chuck Yeager. It was heartbreaking for me to hear that. One of the worst days for me was ironically on my birthday in December. I felt really bitter and down and just wanted to sit in my room, but I didn’t. I don’t like celebrating my birthday anymore. As I get older it feels less and less special and in turn I feel sad about it. Another reason why is that I don’t like having a fuss made about it. I don’t like the attention from it haha. It’s okay though because even though this year I felt upset I eventually felt a bit happier as it turned to night. 

This year I witnessed history being made. Let me be clear that history is made every year, but this year was very eventful. I witnessed innocent black lives being slaughtered by the very people who are sworn to protect everyone. It’s so disappointing and soul crushing to see all of this. I don’t know if I’ve made it clear on here, but I strongly stand with the BLM movement. I may not understand what they haven been going through for decades, but I stand with them to make things right. Black Lives Matter, not All Lives. All Lives only matter when it’s actually true and Black Lives are included. If you saw a house on fire in an entire block of houses, you wouldn’t say “All Houses Matter!” No they don’t, that house on fire matters. Black Lives Fucking Matter, and All Cops Are Bastards.

To you, the Pledge of Allegiance. Everyday in elementary school I proudly held my right hand over my heart as I stared up at Old Glory and recited you. This year helped me realize that “With liberty and justice for all.” is total bullshit. The only thing I truly appreciate about my country now is the scenery and nature it provides. 

To you 2020, as I finish writing this letter on December 31st. You’ve made me cry a lot, including right now. You’ve deeply effected my life and brought me lots of sorrow. Despite all of this, I don't feel upset about you. Yes, you gave me some events that will always haunt me but that’s okay. 2020 even though you’ve hurt me, you’ve also shaped me. Yes, you also made my lose faith in my country and humanity, but I can only hope for the best. You’ve pushed me to become a better version of myself. 

So to you 2020, you’ve been a hell of a year. I’ve hated and loved you, but mostly hated you. I went through some shit, but others have gone through worse this year. To those of you who have had a very hard time this year, I love you. I sincerely hope things get better for you. Friend or stranger, you can always rely on me as someone to talk to, to rant or vent to, and to cry to. This year was excruciating, but don’t give up. It has ended and a new year has begun. Sure 2021 may also be bad and we’re all exhausted from 2020, but let’s fight till the end. 

[onceuponanaromantic]

You Can’t Wake Up (this is not a dream)

Summary: A few years after Klaus' escape from the Umbrella Academy, he nearly freezes to death on the streets.

Read under cut or on AO3

Are you insane like me?

Been in pain like me?

Bought a hundred dollar bottle of champagne like me?

Just to pour that motherfucker down the drain like me?

Would you use your water bill to dry the stain like me?

 “Klaus, Klaus you need to get to somewhere safe for tonight.”

            “G’way, B’n.”

            “Or at least somewhere sheltered.”

             Klaus flapped one end of his scarf, his threadbare, once-neon-now-faded scarf at what appeared to be thin air. Ben soldiered on, hoodie shrugged over his shoulders. He would have given Klaus the hoodie if it would have any effect; it’s not like he needed it now that he was dead. But his hoodie, sadly, was stuck to him. If only the champagne bottle in Klaus’ hand was adequate to keep him warm.

             “Klaus, it’s too cold tonight. Find somewhere warm. Please, Klaus.”

                        Ben tried to place a hand on Klaus’ shoulder, only to feel a surge of frustration as his hand just fell through. Klaus stumbles around him, bare feet moving across the pavement nimbly. Klaus never liked shoes, and that hadn’t changed a bit since leaving the Academy. Ben had tried, at first, when they had just left the Academy to convince Klaus that if he was going to need shoes. Klaus had shoes.

             Had started out with shoes at least. And nice ones at that, the kind that cost an arm and a leg and someone’s liver and someone else’s kidney. The kind that Klaus shouldn’t have if he hadn’t stolen Reginald’s shit, and the kind that Klaus really shouldn’t have sold for something as fleeting as champagne.

             Alcohol though. Alcohol and drugs. Being dead meant that Ben could see the other ghosts, and could see the living nightmare that was Klaus’ life. Corpses at every street corner and corpses of every kind of death. Gruesome, terrible corpses of course, heads torn off and deep slashes across throats and arms.

             But the worst kind was the kind that didn’t appear to have any problem. Even Ben got fooled once in a while, especially at the start, by quiet voices that pleaded for someone to notice them, and you turned around, worried and asking if the two of them could help in any way. But then Klaus would look at them and try and reach out and his hand would just. Fall through their body and Klaus would stumble away as their wails got louder and their pleas. Their pleas got more vigorous as they turned to Klaus and begged him for help and for everything that he couldn’t give.

             Sometimes, and Ben wouldn’t admit it, but he stretched out and let his hand fall through Klaus’ body just to reassure himself that Klaus wasn’t one of the ghosts too. It was a terrible thing to do, he knew, because like the other dead, his body was freezing and no amount of warmth could warm Klaus up but it was worth it. To convince himself that Klaus, no matter how close to death he seemed to be, was only in Death’s front garden.

             Although, all things given, Klaus had probably rung Death’s doorbell at several points.

             It was days past the last time that Klaus had been able to take a shower. The last shower that he had, he had made his way into while high, and then nearly spilled his bottle of cheap beer on the floor. That had gotten him kicked out, because no one would take a junkie.

             Ben tried to pull at Klaus’ scarf to wrap it around him. Klaus giggled a little and turned away as Ben’s fingers fell through the fabric.

 Are you high enough without the Mary Jane like me?

Do you tear yourself apart to entertain like me?

Do the people whisper 'bout you on the train like me?

Saying that you shouldn't waste your pretty face like me?

             “Klaus?”

             Ben apologised, as he slammed straight into Diego, before he realised that Diego couldn’t hear or feel him anyway so the point was moot. Ben had never been so glad to see a brother, especially Diego. Diego and Klaus had been close as children, right? That meant that Klaus could afford to rely on Diego? Diego, who happened to be dressed in his vigilante gear, knives strapped and holstered all over his body, like some kind of low budget Batman.

             Anything. Diego wouldn’t leave Klaus here, not when he was freezing so badly. It was too cold that Ben was half surprised that Klaus’ blood had frozen in his veins.

             “Di… Diego! Number Two!”

            “Keep your voice down.”

             Klaus was curled up against the edge of a building, shivering, eyes glazed. Diego was glaring down at him, even as Klaus hiccupped a giggle at him.

             Klaus smiled, but not the smile that Ben longed to see. Not his soft, caring smile. He smiled his manic smile, his ‘I’m-not-okay-but-I’m-going-to-pretend’ smile. All their siblings had fallen for it. The fake, plastic smile that made the others groan, and go ‘Number Four… Don’t. Just. Get out.” And Klaus would leave, still smiling his manic smile, all the way until he finally landed into drugs, and then fell down that particular rabbit hole.

             Ben had been tricked by that smile, once upon a time. Living and observing Klaus all the time though had taught him better. Because when Klaus was truly happy, the smile he came up with was a soft twitch of his lips. His eyes lit up a little and his hands started to come up as he gestured.

             Even now, on the streets, people stayed away from Klaus. Not just because he was a junkie, because that was certainly part of it, but also because he smiled to himself and appeared to be talking to thin air, and he always had on that manic grin.

             That manic, intense teeth baring smile that distracted everyone from the pain that Klaus never could escape.

             Perhaps, at one point, Diego might have known better. Diego had been close to Klaus when they were younger after all, between talking to Mom and training. They had been as close to actual brothers, actual friends, as it had been possible to be in the fucked up mess that was the Academy.

             Ben remembers being jealous at one point, of the fact that Klaus and Diego always seemed so exclusive. But now? Now he just wanted Klaus to be loved.

 And all the people say

You can't wake up, this is not a dream

You're part of a machine, you are not a human being

With your face all made up, living on a screen

Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline

  Ben wonders if that was a thing about Diego. The people that he had loved the most had been the ones that well, seemed almost human but not quite. He had loved Mom, yes, and he had loved Klaus. Mom, who was a robot, but who had loved all the children and showed them more affection than Reginald or their other nannies had in years. Mom, who had always been there, unchanging, even as the children grew into teenagers.

 Ben wonders if it was the constancy that Diego liked. Mom never changing, and Klaus’ only constant being that he was never the same.

 “Number Two?”

 Klaus looked up, almost plaintive, as if he could see Diego above him. As if his eyes weren’t clouded over by the haze of drugs and alcohol. Diego sighed and pretended to be put upon, as he hefted Klaus up, and carried him to his beat up old truck.

 Klaus’ mascara and eyeshadow smeared on Diego’s vigilante gear, leaving sparkly stains on the black fabric, but Diego didn’t appear to notice. Ben followed behind them, checking to make sure that no one was following them. Klaus had… he had picked up his enemies. Not just the ones that he had collected, that all the Umbrella Academy kids had picked up, but the ones that came from being a young man with curly hair in bright makeup and clothing that didn’t allow you to avert your gaze.

 “Number Two, ‘ve m’ssed you.” Klaus mumbled into Diego’s shirt. Diego nods curtly, not bothering with a verbal response.

 Ben wondered for a moment, what happened to their other siblings. What happened to Vanya? What happened to Luther, to Allison?

 He hadn’t seen Five’s ghost, but Five had been gone so long, it wasn’t as if the chance of him being dead somewhere in time where Ben and Klaus couldn’t reach him was completely unthinkable.

 “Two, dyou… dyou love me?” Klaus asks, stumbling over his words as he sits in Diego’s back seat. Diego grunts, and starts the car.

 “I’ll drive to my place. You can stay there for the night. Shower.”

             Being a ghost, and not needing things like food and sleep also meant that one had an unfortunately long time to watch someone and to think about your life choices. One of those things that Ben pondered on while watching Klaus doze now, and as Diego drove, was that Reginald had broken all of them, but to different extents.

             Diego drives on, car glinting in the lamplight, eyes fixed on the road.

 I think there's a flaw in my code

These voices won't leave me alone

Well my heart is gold and my hands are cold

             All of them, Ben thought, had become emotionally constipated.

             Ben includes himself, because the other ghosts don’t exactly make the best people to socialise with and to talk to about your emotions and worries about your future. Mom had been the actual robot, but all of them, Reginald had tried to programme into being good little robot-soldiers. 

             And what do you do when electronics don’t work? You whack them around. You hit them with a wrench. And if the object happens to break in the process of trying to fix it, well, that wasn’t intended.

             They had all been hit over the head by Reginald’s metaphorical monkey wrench a couple of times.

             Some, like Luther, had thrived. The monkey wrench hitting appeared to have worked. Or maybe it was that his code had been perfect. Obedient, strong, willing to enforce Reginald’s rule on the others in the house. Allison too. Too busy with Luther to deny Reginald, happy to use her rumours at the drop of a hat to get what she wants.

             Diego, well. For a long time, Ben might have assumed the monkey wrench hitting worked. But Diego had always been a soft soul, what with the stuttering and his fondness for helping Mom in the kitchen. Diego had loved, and Reginald had never been pleased with that, especially when that love was for robots like Mom, and failures like Klaus.

             Hah by that metric, Ben was probably a failure too. So was Van. They should form a team. Klaus could design the T-shirts. Van could come up with a theme song. ‘Umbrella Academy Failure Squad’. Five, well, he wouldn’t be a failure, but he was also missing so, moot. Five was strong, and smart, and he was willing to actually use his power.

             Number Six, the Horror.

             As if the Horror knew what he was thinking of, they rumbled away in his stomach. Since dying, Ben had been able to feel the horror but hadn’t been able to convince them to come out. Not that he wanted to, of course not, but, it had been a little disconcerting to be unable to feel the pain and constant discomfort of the Horror beneath his skin.

             Who said that being dead didn’t have its benefits?

             “B’n…” Klaus croaked out, from the middle of Diego’s backseat. Diego stiffens.

             “Klaus. Four. Stop pretending Ben- Six is there. It’s not nice.”

             Ben wants to retort that Diego is the rude one and he is sitting right here thank you very much and Ben is perfectly happy here.

             But Klaus just snuffles and curls up in Diego’s car. Within seconds, he’s fast asleep in the warmth of Diego’s car.

             “Ben?” Diego says, voice shaking. Ben looks at him and raises his eyebrows. After saying that Klaus is hallucinating, it seems a bit rich to ask for his presence but whatever.

             “Yes?” But of course, Diego does not hear him.

             “If you’re there… I’m… I’m sorry. For… for everything.”

             Ben does not respond. He doesn’t think he knows how to.

 Are you deranged like me?

Are you strange like me?

Lighting matches just to swallow up the flame like me?

Do you call yourself a fucking hurricane like me?

Pointing fingers 'cause you'll never take the blame like me?

             “We’re here.” Diego turns off the ignition, parking outside an unsavoury-looking gym. Ben raises his eyebrows. The last he had heard, Diego had been in the police academy. But, things must have changed in the time in between.

             Judging by the vigilante gear, Ben thought he might have a guess as to why. The instinctual need to defend, to save, even if it went against the rules, even if the methods used were unsavoury… That was their Diego.

             Ben wouldn’t tell Klaus that Diego had made an additional loop around the block to allow Klaus to sleep longer.

 The smell of cigarettes and stale alcohol clung to Klaus’ clothes, and Diego sighed and leaned his head against the wheel. Ben took this time to take a good look at Diego.

 Diego seemed… jaded. His face was lined and tired, and the knives tucked all over his body were all black.

 Diego used the old Umbrella Academy mask.

 And they all had their own masks, didn’t they? All his siblings, the ones that survived. The ones that escaped. Klaus had his makeup, his bright eyeshadows and lipstick and his colourful skirts and fluffy jackets. Diego had his Umbrella Academy masks, and his sullenness and his hit-first-ask-questions-later-if-ever attitude towards life. Allison, from what Ben had seen of her, has rumoured herself into a position of fame and happiness, flashing cameras that never saw her when the doors were closed.

 He hadn’t figured out what happened to Vanya after Klaus left. He hoped she found somewhere safe, where she could play her violin in peace and where people appreciated her for who she was.

 Ben had. Well, he had wondered at least. About what happened to his siblings, even if he couldn’t actually go look them up without Klaus’ help.

 Diego opened the car door, and prodded Klaus’ shoulder. Klaus whimpered but woke, blinking blearily in the dim lights.

 “You can stay over. Just for a while.”

 Klaus nods, and leans over to hug Diego. It’s a strange sight; spindly thin pale makeup covered Klaus and black leather vigilante well-built Diego.

 They’ve always been weird after all. Sometimes, it’s better to just embrace the weird.

 Sir had certainly leaned into the eccentric billionaire raising superheroes thing pretty hard. It was for the greater good, to stop the no-one-knew-would-actually-happen apocalypse.

 And all the people say

You can't wake up, this is not a dream

You're part of a machine, you are not a human being

With your face all made up, living on a screen

Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline

             Diego’s boiler room was… well, it was certainly warm which is more than Ben could say than the world outside. Klaus was unceremoniously dumped on the ground, where he had a little more colour in his skin and where he was slowly, unfortunately starting to sober up.

             Ben looked around, and noticed the other ghosts, and aggressively attempted to shoo them away, even as Klaus’ eyes came into focus and he shut them tightly to avoid hearing and seeing them. Not that closing his eyes or covering his ears helped, or it would have helped a long time ago.

             Diego set about disassembling his vigilante gear, mechanically and with practised fingers. Ben perches himself at the industrial sink, waiting for Klaus to come awake.

             Diego was halfway through cleaning and sharpening his second knife when Klaus began to murmur ‘No, no, no.’ and stretch out his arms as if he can ward off both the memories and the actual ghosts with just his arms.

             Ben moves to stand next to Klaus, from where he’s lying on the floor. Klaus sobering up is never fun to watch.

             “I’m here, Klaus. I’m here.”

             Klaus looks at him with wide eyes, and asks, “Where am I?”

             “Diego’s place. He caught you freezing on a street corner.”

             Klaus’ eyes dart around the room, looking at things that only he could see. Diego looks over a shoulder and says, “My place.”

             Klaus smiles at Diego, but it’s his manic grin once again.

             “You should… You should stay the night. Shower.” Diego says, not looking at Klaus, eyes fixed on the knife he’s polishing.

             Klaus hiccups. Ben looks over at him, and raises his eyebrow.

 I think there's a flaw in my code

These voices won't leave me alone

Well my heart is gold and my hands are cold

             “Ben?” Klaus asks.

             “I think you should take Diego up on his offer. You really were freezing.” Ben wants to say, ‘I think you should try to be sober’ but he can’t ask that of Klaus.

             Klaus covers his ears briefly as the ghosts continue clamouring for him to help them. Ben sits down next to him, then lies down across his lap. Klaus smiles, eyes soft, and tries to pet Ben.

             Diego still doesn’t look at Klaus when he says. “Your body is cold. You should try to warm up.”

             Klaus coos. “Awww, so you do care!” And stretches his arms out towards Diego, who resolutely pretends to ignore him.

             Yeah, hugging his spindly junkie brother when everyone was not-as-drunk wasn’t something Diego usually did.

             Until Klaus did stand and tried to hug Diego, who grumbled and threatened to stab Klaus but otherwise didn’t do anything to avoid the hug.

             Ben hugged them both, not wanting to be left out.

             Klaus grinned at him, a real smile this time.

[porchwood]

Hey friends,

I’ve been struggling to come up with a sufficient thank-you for all your help with the GoFundMe, but it seems every time I sit down to try to write a response, some new awful thing arises. And this past week was the worst yet (maybe the worst ever).

When last I spoke to you, I was getting over a bad cold and preparing to ease back into work after my injury. The PT office finally called me back and I went in for one session to make sure I was at a recovery point where it was okay for me to do massage again; the therapist did a quick assessment - no exercises demonstrated or recommended - kinesiotaped the knee and charged $100 that I had to pay then and there. (So a waste, and an expensive one, but I guess it could have been worse?) The next day I started back at work VERY part-time (one 60-90 min client a day) and it absolutely killed me. I was no longer wearing the brace and my knee actually did okay with the work (bending/crouching notwithstanding), but the rest of my body (esp core muscles) were just drop-kicked by the work. I went home exhausted and shaky every day and finally tried substantially increasing my protein intake, which felt a little ridiculous (we’re talking a 24g shake + an 11g bar for breakfast or two entrees at lunchtime), but it’s done a world of good, and that’s all thanks to you guys. (Protein of any kind isn’t cheap and your incredible donations made it possible for me to buy good food to rebuild my muscles.)

The end of my first week back at work, I fell hard on the ice outside my house. Miraculously, my left knee never even hit the ground, but I fell flat on my back and my left wrist - without any lasting injury, thankfully, but I was absolutely worthless for the next 24 hours and had several days (crucial returning-to-massage days) of varying degrees of pain in that wrist. In the meantime, I made a couple of other adjustments (raising my massage table to take the strain off my lower body, getting back on an ibuprofen schedule instead of just taking it after the fact, when I was hurting badly), all of which helped, but I’m still only about 85% back. My knee still hurts every morning when I wake up and gets stiff and sore whenever I have it bent for any length of time. My workplace has been surprisingly good about letting me work a slower schedule as I build back up (ex. 3 clients a day instead of 5), and last Friday I finally got a paycheck for the first time in over a month (!). 

Then, two weeks ago, I was wakened at 3am to Lucky (my little rat terrier) falling off the bed. This has happened before and is usually comical after the fact, but when I picked her up, she emptied her bladder all over me, and when I tried to set her down to check on her, her back legs had gone limp and wouldn’t support her. Terrified (I’ve heard enough end-of-life dog stories to know this isn’t good), I was about to take her to the emergency vet when she sat up like nothing had happened and began licking herself. I took her outside and she walked around a bit, completely sound on her feet, and pottied again - business as usual. Worried and mystified, I messaged my (LPN) mother who thought the urination sounded like a shock reaction to the fall, so I gave Lucky a bath and spent most of the day just cuddling with her.

For about two seconds, life seemed like it might finally be getting a little better. I was able to pick up two massages at a local inn (which pay substantially better than massages at the spa and provide some very helpful extra money). And then on Thursday, I came home to a slightly anxious Lucky (howling quietly on my bed), and when she got up to greet me, her back legs wouldn’t support her. I scooped her up immediately and her entire body went limp (seemingly lifeless), her head and neck lolling over my arm. As I ran through the house with her, her bladder emptied down the front of me and - still lifelessly limp - she gave the most horrifying howl I’ve ever heard. I was convinced she was dying in my arms.

As we tore down the road to the vet’s (thankfully, about a 5-minute drive from home), she sat up on my lap and by the time we’d reached the office, she was acting downright normal again. I was able to get us in with one of the vets about 10 mins later (a tech checked her out right away to triage her and make sure she was stable), and he wanted to get some data on her heart. She’s had a heart murmur for almost her entire life and, while I’ve asked repeatedly what we could do for that, the only advice I was ever given was hawthorn and ginkgo supplements (which she takes on a more or less daily basis), and at one point we tried a canine cardiac formula for a few months with no notable changes.

She had an EKG, chest x-rays, and a blood draw ($516, including the office call) and then that info was sent to a veterinary cardiologist in Portland. All they could tell me in the meantime was that her heart is enlarged and to just have her take it easy for the rest of the day; they would call me first thing the next morning with the cardiologist’s report. Lucky was sleepy but normal for the rest of the day and I passed an awful night of bad dreams (including one about rabid dogs) and waking every hour or so to make sure she was okay.

I was scheduled for my typical split on Friday but had only one client at the end of the day and was an emotional wreck, so I asked if I could just go home to be with Lucks and I found another therapist to cover my client. I still hadn’t heard from the vet by 10am, so I called to check in. He gave me a brief summary over the phone and asked if we could come in for some more tests, which was another hour and a half and $236. (I was able to put these two visits on my CareCredit card but for some reason the vet only gives a 6 month promotional period instead of the 12-18 months that other places do. If you’re not familiar, CareCredit is a great option IF you can pay off everything quickly. If you can’t, you’re clobbered with obscene interest on the entire sum at the end of the promotional period, even if you’ve paid off almost all of the principal.)

I’m still making sense of the cardiologist’s report because it’s quite in-depth and my knowledge of the heart isn’t quite that high, but here’s what I’ve been able to glean:

- “severely enlarged” heart - borderline tachycardia and occasional arrhythmia (her collapse was considered a syncopal episode, if that helps anyone) - some degree of mitral valve issue - at risk of developing congestive heart failure

She was put on two heart meds, pimobendan/Vetmedin (which is supposed to be very effective and is also very expensive) and enalapril (an ACE-inhibitor), and she has a kidney check-up in about a week to make sure she’s doing well on them and adjust the doses if necessary. The vet seemed to think the prognosis was pretty good (considering that at this point we’re talking about staving off heart failure :/) - he said small dogs with mitral valve issues tend to do well on these meds - and other than this insanity with her heart, Lucky seems to be in pretty good shape. Before Thursday she was extremely active and happy; there’s no sign of neurological issues, and her BP, thyroid, kidneys, etc are all looking good. So I’m trying to stay hopeful.

She’s been a little extra sleepy (understandably) the past few days, but this afternoon she seemed unusually “off,” so I’m trying to figure out whether it’s her tiny body adjusting to the meds (which she needs to stay on for the rest of her life) or if her heart is suddenly starting to get tired and this is the new normal. :( I called my mother earlier (a mistake) and got a lot of pessimism-in-the-guise-of-sympathy that left me feeling like Lucky is on hospice and I should start making end-of-life arrangements now. 

I’ve been crying for the better part of the last four days, and I don’t think I can articulate how painful this is for me. I didn’t think it was possible to donate a human heart to a canine but I looked it up just in case, because I would give her mine without hesitation. Lucky is my whole life - my soul running around in a little black-and-white body, and five years ago when my life systematically fell apart, she was the only thing misfortune didn’t touch - and I knew this, and I was waiting. Since then she developed sleeping bladder leaks (which, while frightening, were easily and effectively treated with estrogen), then severe separation anxiety (which I’ve been struggling to treat since 2016, and yes, I blame myself for the anxiety making her heart worse, even though I’ve done absolutely everything to help her overcome it). Lucky is absolutely the reason I didn’t try to end my life at various junctures over the past five years, and I don’t want to think about what will happen to me if she’s not here anymore.

And as ridiculous as this will sound: I was supposed to be married by now. When I got Lucks as a puppy, I knew the inevitable would one day come (unless Jesus comes back before then so Lucky and I can just go to heaven together, which I haven’t given up on), but I knew my life would be much different by then. I would have a home and a husband to help shoulder the financial and emotional burden. I was not supposed to be alone, sterile, and struggling just to make ends meet. I love my roommate dearly, but it’s not the same as having a spouse, nor should it be. She can give me hugs and listen to me cry, but at the end of the day it’s me in that dr’s office, holding my hurting baby and promising to pay for whatever they have to do, and me that has to hold everything together and keep going when the worst happens. 

Incidentally, last Sunday was my birthday. I’ve mentioned before that my birthday has some kind of perverse curse, and if this year didn’t prove it, I don’t know what will.

My father (living in Nebraska, and with whom I’ve had a strained relationship since my hysterectomy) has congestive heart failure, and my mother called me shortly before all of the Lucky stuff to tell me that he’s failing and to try to talk me into moving back to Nebraska to help keep an eye on him. Which is a subject for another time entirely, but over the past few days I’ve been wondering if I should think about going back (temporarily), if only to be around family myself. It would be a complicated situation (I’d still be on the Maine lease and paying for half of everything, Lord knows if I’d be able to keep my Maine job when I came back and I’d end up back at Massage Envy in Nebraska, not to mention I’d be scrambling to pay down my medical bills and Lucky’s), but maybe it’s something I should consider.

Anyway: that’s where I’ve been. :( And I’m sure I look like an ingrate for not saying thank you about the funds sooner, but between the fatigue and the heartbreak, it’s been hard to manage much of anything lately.

[millerflintstone]

Queen Diva

I was hoping it was just the winter storm that was getting her down. The weather does affect her mobility.

In mid November, she was similarly bad but also had a weird head bob. Found out her kidney function and related values had gotten worse. Some potassium supplements and additional phosphorus binders in her food helped the weakness and head bob so she had been mobile until last week about Wednesday or Thursday. The peeing in her bed incidents had also stopped. She hasn’t stood up on her own since then and yes, the incidents are back. She’s had increased pain response when you touch her legs or lower back, too. Some of it is anticipatory flinching but some of it isn’t.

Got her re-check values back today and her kidney function is continuing to decrease. Her phosphorus values are better as is her potassium but she’s listless. Loki would get like this when there was toxin build up. He never stopped moving, though but he was 12 when he died. She’s 20 with multiple things going on. Her vet is wondering if there is a tumor we haven’t been able to see pressing up on something that’s causing the leg issues. Arthritis makes everything more difficult, too.

Her vet was concerned because Diva has always had some kind of reaction during acupuncture that shows her personality. Even when she was kind of doped up. She was minimally doped up and barely showing personality today. Her vet asked me how she was mentally and she’s had flashes of personality. For example, last night she really wanted me to brush her and kept demanding it but overall, she’s just been sleeping. Diva giving up is something to watch out for and I know this. Hearing it today wasn’t easy, though.

She is still very much interested in food, though. You should see how she reacts for soft crumbles of goat cheese. It’s become the best way to mask pills. I just coat them in a thin layer of Pill Pockets so the pill doesn’t dissolve into the cheese and roll it up in goat cheese. 

I don’t know about any more pets after Diva and Gigabyte. Seeing Diva’s decline has been so rough and knowing that Gigabyte has begun with symptoms of renal failure is now always running in the back of my head, though Gig is fine at the moment. With Diva, I’ve been mourning the loss of the kitty who was when I open up my Timehop. It usually makes me smile but the knowledge that those days are gone is harder to take today.

[vegajoyce]

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Cat Urine Kidney Failure

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Karen Meme Cat Spray Bottle

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[miss-m-and-her-blog]

He’s My Girl (Chapter 1)

TITLE OF STORY: He’s My Girl

CHAPTER: 1

AUTHOR: miss-m-and-her-blog

WHICH TOM/CHARACTER: AU Actor!Tom

GENRE: Romance, Action, Drama

FIC SUMMARY: He’s a guy, she’s a boy in disguise. He’s an actor, she’s a stuntman or -woman. How can it ever work when the famous Tom Hiddleston stars in an action film, with Charlie or Charlene as his stunt choreographer? 

RATING: T

WARNINGS/TRIGGERS/AUTHORS NOTES: The inspiration behind this story are those KDramas (Korean Dramas)  that I have watched where a girl pretends to be a man to get closer to the guy she likes. But in this story, it’s a different reason why Charlene did it (And it’s her point of view that will be in this chapter, but Tom will also be in this chapter) and you’ll know why in this chapter ^_^

FEEDBACK/COMMENTS: Thanks for the likes and reblogs that you have for the Prologue chapter! :D

----

Almost a year ago…

Charlene could remember it so well, the day she almost lost all the hope and joy she have in life; it is the day her father died.

Before entering her father’s room, Charlene had to wear a mask as per instruction of his doctor. When she got in, she saw her father is sleeping and coughing in between while lying on the bed. She went over to his side and quietly waited for him to stir.

“Papa, I’m here.” She whispered as she placed a hand on her father’s forehead.

The beat of his life support distracted Charlene for a while, but when Bo-Gyeong stirred, her smile appeared immediately.

“Gongjunim!“ He weakly responded but still with such delight, especially he was seeing his daughter smile down at him.

Bo-Gyeong was a paraplegic ever since he got into an accident from a stunt work for a Filipino action movie. Charlene was only 11 at that time but she was forced to earn money not for herself only but for her father also.

He moved with Charlene in Seoul when she was 13, and there he became a substitute instructor in a dojo despite his disability. Charlene on the other hand, learned to juggle school and her part time jobs. It was difficult for the father and daughter; but Charlene never gave up on him.

“Papa, I brought gimbap, with chicken adobo mixed in, of course.” Charlene brought out the lunch box covered in cloth, in front of her father.

Bo-Gyeong struggled to speak up after coughing out, “Did you ask your Uncle Barty that when he comes home to Manila; to send me one of those Emperador brandy.” He finally made a joke to his daughter.

“Pff, appa-- You’ll drink buckets of beer after you get out of the hospital.” She tried to encourage him. But then, his coughing fit came out again and this time it was longer than before.

His doctor, Dr. Eun, on the other hand, had already told her after two weeks of his admittance, that he was not hospitalized because of his paralyzed legs; it was because of his bacterial pneumonia. Unfortunately, it was beyond any cure and Charlene learned that he could die from it.

He doesn’t have enough time, Ms. Lee. Your father is dying.

Charlene tried to brush off the memory, instead, she opened the lunch box and the smell of fresh food made Bo-Gyeong smile.

“Ahh... You really inherited your Mama’s magical skill of cooking. I could see her just now, standing at our kitchen, smiling at me as I hug her from behind.” He muttered.

Suddenly, the erratic beat of the life support caught Charlene’s attention, but her father made her look at him as he spoke,

“Listen to me, gongjunim... I know I don’t have much time left-- I know it very well... But, when I’m gone, I want you to find someone you could share not only your heart with, but also your life...”

“Shh, papa, don’t talk so much-- I’ll get help.”

This time, Charlene saw that his heart rate was dropping. Her eyes widened as panic had started sinking in to her mind.

“No! No, no-- Papa, stay with me! I’m going to call the nurse!” She panicked as she pushed the emergency button.

“Saranghae, Cha-Cha...” His words sounded to her like there were blown away by the wind; his breath disappeared with the air.

The next thing she heard was the flat line of the life support.

Nurses and a doctor flooded in to the room and they surrounded Bo-Gyeong. A male nurse shoved her out of the bedside and into the doorway.

Charlene braced herself against the wall, and the door shut loudly in front of her; blocking Bo-Gyeong out of her sight.

She couldn’t fight the feeling, she had to go outside and run away from her father's room. But the tears kept falling from her eyes, her chest weighed down by the pain. Her feet started to take steps; it started to take her away from that room, to find solitude for herself.

Charlene ran up the stairs, until she found the door to the rooftop and outside. The blue skies blinded her, but her tears stung her eyes more than anything else.

With no one else at the rooftop, she fell down the concrete floor and embraced only her legs to hold herself from the pain.

Mama... If you meet Papa in heaven, please take care of each other...

She whispered those words as if her mother, long gone from this world; is an angel she is praying to.

That was one of the darkest days that Charlene had in her life. First, her mother was taken from her and her father; then now Bo-Gyeong is gone.

She was all alone now and her relatives are at the other side of the globe. There’s nobody else to turn to or to hold on to; just herself.

----

Five months after...

<<”I’m sorry, Cha. But I really can’t release your Papa’s last salary. It’s the only payment that we can get after all the loan he had taken to pay for his hospital bills.”>> The owner of the dojo, Kim Hae-Byeon, a balding middle-aged man, explained to her.

Charlene cleared her throat and thought out the words she can say.

<<”It’s not his salary that I’m after at, Mr. Kim; it’s his share here in the dojo. You know Papa also helped build this place.”>> Charlene reasoned with the man.

At that time, Charlene had nowhere else to go. Her contract with her last part-time job had ended and most of her earnings were paid for her student loans. Though the saddest part is that she may finish her senior year in High School but she will never be able to step in to college.

Her contacts in stunt works or talent scouts for bit players were no help for her. She had no other choice but to at least get her father’s share in the dojo.

Hae-Byeon shook his head and said, <<”Do you really need the money?”>>

This time, she looked down on her hands that are steepled on her lap, then she answered,

<<”I do. I need the money so I could go back to the Philippines. I’d go back to Tondo, my mother’s hometown.”>>

Then, just like a miracle from the heavens, Hae-Byeon pulled out his wallet, then asked her,

<<”How much do you need for a ticket to Manila?>>”

Charlene answered carefully, <<”At least ₩ 80,000. It’s a one way ticket to Manila..”>>

He then gave her the money and said, <<”Use it wisely, kid. I know that you are a good daughter and Bo-Gyeong was lucky enough to have you. Don’t waste your life, you’ve got plenty of time, anyways. How old are you again? 22?”>>

<<”Thank you so much, Mr. Kim. I just turned 23 last November, sir. Yes, you are right, I’m still young.”>> Charlene smiled and tucked the money in to her pocket.

<<”Ah, if you weren’t going back home to Manila, I would’ve married you to my son, Dae-Hwan-- oh, Charlene, I know you two will be a good couple.”>> Hae-Byeon pointed out at his son at the far corner of the dojo, a big man not just in height but also in size, wiping the corners of the window.

Charlene could only quietly snicker to herself, then she politely replied, <<”I don’t want to marry yet, sir. I still need to get my life upright.”>>

Charlene was not lying when she said those words. She needed to focus first on how to get her life right and find a suitable job for herself. It might be her father’s dying wish-- to have her find someone that she could share her life with; but at that time and until now, it isn’t her top priority.

Finally, having the money to buy her a one-way ticket to Manila; Charlene left after a week. She only had a backpack full of clothes and a family picture of their whole clan; the Gosengtian clan, in her mother’s side. She and her father were included in the picture, as it was taken in a family reunion back when she was 4 years old. Her mother, Rosanna, died the next year because of kidney failure.

As she left Seoul for good, she left all the bad memories behind. She was sure that when she arrives in Manila; she will build up her life. That was the place that she grew up; and there she would find the answers.

----

“And that’s a wrap, people! Good job!” A man yelled out from the camera, one of the Russo brothers; as the filming for Avengers: Infinity War had come to a close.

Each and everyone cheered and shook each hands to congratulate the hard work that everybody gave for the making of the film.

Then, someone announced a group hug in the middle of the buzz; the god of mischief himself, Loki-- portrayed by one of the most charming and eligible English actor, Tom HIddleston.

Tom had another Tom, (Tom Holland) hugging him from behind; while Chris Hemsworth took his right arm to wrap around his shoulders.

“Thanks so much, man. You’ve been the best.” Chris told him, while RDJ, joined the circle of group hug to give Tom a kiss on the cheek.

Scarlett Johansson joined in then Sebastian Stan, Dave Baustista, Zoe Saldana and almost all of the actors and crew joined in.

In the middle of it all, Tom was smiling the brightest. He knew that he will miss all of these wonderful people that he had worked with, day and night.

After the group hug and everything else, Tom returned to his trailer to take a rest. When he got inside, he didn’t bothered to take off the armor; he just flopped down on to the bed and he closed his eyes.

It had been a tough but wonderful first half of the year. He thought.

Just as he was about to drift off into a sleep, he heard his phone ring; it was one from the talent agency.

“Yep, hullo.” Tom answered as he sat up from the bed.

“Hey, Tom. It’s Hodell here” a man spoke over the line.

“Oh yes, Chris; what’s up?” Tom asked.

“Listen, I had call from Andy Lockley; he said that he would like you to play the lead part for that movie that they are doing.”

Tom tried to recall the last few movies that the Lockley Studios had made and the last one was about a swashbuckling pirate and something about the search for El Dorado.

“Well, would I get to hold a sword there? Save some damsels-in-distress?” Tom joked.

“Nope. It’s nothing like it; you’ll be holding guns and driving cars, that’s what I heard.”

He had to hold an excited guffaw when he heard that. It was a change of scenery and scripts for him, and Tom was actually willing to take on the role.

“So, what’s the working title, by the way? Who are the other leads?” He followed.

“You seem interested. The title’s The Last Deal, you’ll be working with Paula Weissman and Ian Velasquez.”

Tom sighed and laid down again on his bed and answered, “I’ll take it. Tell them I will take the role.”

“Great, I’ll pass them the good news.” Chris replied.

“Thank you, Chris. Okay, bye.” Then Tom ended the call, but something got his curiosity; the lead actress, Paula Weissman.

He opened his mobile browser and started looking her up on Google. Then, he saw her in Cosmopolitan’s July issue, and he swore she was more gorgeous than his ex.

“Well then. She’s blonde, a former ballerina, and stage actress. Not bad, though.”

Tom could snigger to himself as he placed down the phone once and for all. There was something about that film that made him feel excited; though he wasn’t sure if it was about the role or his co-star.

But something in him knew, it would be a great role to take on.

----

Charlene arrived at the production warehouse of ABS-CBN, a leading broadcasting channel in the Philippines; along Mother Ignacia street in Quezon city; just after she had done work as a Teleserye extra for the primetime series, Ang Probinsyano.

She was called up by her childhood friend, Dodong, as he said, something had come up and he knows that she would be interested. There, she met with the stunt team that her father used to work with; though some of the members are all new, but the older members immediately recognized her.

“Cha! Is that you?” Dodong’s father, Artem, greeted her when she got inside the warehouse where they are permitted to have their stunt practices.

“Uncle Artem, how are you?” Charlene greeted back and came close to give him a hug.

Artem and Bo-Gyeong were close friends along with Charlene’s maternal uncle, Barty. All of them practiced martial arts under one teacher and there their friendship was formed.

“Oh my, how much you’ve grown! I remember when you were just a girl, now you’re a young woman.” Artem then compared her height with Dodong’s.

“Well, it’s been 10 years. Dodong here grew some abs, I can see that.” Charlene trifled with Dodong and punched his sides.

“Yes, you’ve been gone that long but Dodong still won’t stop talking about you.” Artem remarked, to which Dodong dirtily eyed his father for talking too much.

Charlene smiled at Dodong for a while, but he shied away from her gaze. Then, Artem started to talk to Charlene.

“You see, Cha, my friend in L.A. that works for Lockley Studios told me that they are giving out auditions for stunt choreographers or stuntmen for their upcoming action film. I know that Bo trained you well and I believe that you also need to earn money.”

Charlene looked down for a while, it was because she remembered her father again

“So, you want me to join the team?” Charlene politely asked.

“Yes. You are Bo-Gyeong’s daughter, one of the best stunt choreographer and martial artists I have met in my entire life. He is my friend and I’m your godfather; it’s my responsibility, at least, to give you this opportunity.”

That had put a smile on Charlene’s face. Even though Bo-Gyeong was not around anymore, he’d still send someone for her to keep her steady and okay.

“So when do we start?” Charlene’s words radiated with energy.

“This week. But I warn you, it would be a six-month training. We have to look good for the executive producer so they would hire our team.”

“Okay, Uncle Artem. So, after six months of training, we would fly to L.A.?”

“Yes. Maybe in the mean time while we’re there, you could live with your Uncle Barty?”

Charlene nodded, “That would be great.”

The world may have closed the door for Charlene when her father died, but she was sure that would find another way for herself. This was her destiny calling, as she can tell, and she would take it and maker her parents proud, even though they are no longer there.

But for Tom, on the other hand, this new role was also a door to something new in his life. He could just feel, it wasn’t just another new opportunity, it was something else that still couldn’t place a finger on. Though, he is sure it would be a new adventure for him.

“

[keepingupwithfundies]

Jill posted another ministry update. Israel got sick (again) 🙄🙄 and all they're doing is evangelizing and preaching 😒I wish they'd at least offer some economic help to these people, clean water, home renovation, just something But no, Same old,same old

Thanks @anon!!!

April 17, 2017 - April 18, 2017 Dillard family update

As some of you may know, Derick's grandpa passed away last week. Thank y’all so much for praying for us and for all the encouraging words. We miss “Paw Paw” a lot. We had just talked with him a couple of weeks before he passed.  Thank you for your continued prayers for the other family members and us, including his wife of nearly 62 years. We are comforted knowing that Paw Paw is with Jesus (& Derick’s dad, Rick) and we will see him again one day

Although the past few days have brought sadness to our hearts, we’ve also had reason to celebrate, since Israel turned 2 years old just a few days ago! We celebrated over the last few days as a family and then yesterday with friends from church. We had about 20 of Israel’s friends come to the “hospitality house” (the home the ministry we work with is letting us stay in) for snacks, fellowship and a piñata.

Like I (Jill) mentioned in our last update, we had the privilege of working with a short-term team from the states for about 2 weeks. The ministry we work with sends down several teams a year that each have different focuses. This team’s focus was women’s ministry. Several ladies from the states come every year to put on women’s conferences, as well as do evangelism and ministry. Some of the areas we helped in were the children’s ministry, evangelism and Derick helped lead team Bible study times. It was an exciting time having the team here and also meant lots of long, fruitful days and travel.

On one of the recent home visits with the team, several of the ladies and I were able to talk with one young momma (her little boy and Israel are about the same age) who used to come to church but has since stopped coming. We were able to clearly present the gospel and explain to her that “being a Christian” isn’t about just “praying a prayer for God to take you to heaven,” being a “good person,” or even going to church every week. We shared our testimonies and reiterated that being a Christian is about asking Jesus to be the “Lord” of your life (letting him take control) and also asking him to be your Savior (take you to heaven one day). She was very attentive to what we shared; yet she wasn’t ready to commit her life to the Lord since it would most likely cause strain in family relationships. Please be in prayer for Velma that God will continue to soften her heart.

As a part of our ministry here, we have become more focused on youth ministry in our local area. Many times, if the hearts of the young people aren’t directed toward Jesus at an early age, they will turn to the violence or street life. We have had many opportunities since we have been here to come alongside the local church in reaching out to the youth and being a part of their lives. Derick has been able to preach and encourage the youth who are Christians to share their faith. He has also been able to teach ESL classes a couple of times with a few guys and do some math tutoring. Last weekend we joined the youth for a special outing to the beach. Derick has also continued to build relationships by playing basketball and participating in tournaments in the local square.

Israel and I made Easter/Resurrection Day cookies that we shared with people in the community along with a gospel message. It is common here in our area for people to focus on the suffering of Jesus and lose sight of the hope that we can have through salvation because Jesus rose again. We wanted to highlight this important reality this last week on Easter Sunday.

The pregnancy is going well thus far, as we make it into the home stretch now. Little “Samuelito” (as the locals call him) sometimes wakes mommy up at night now with his active kicking. We look forward to returning home soon to prepare for the birth (before we can’t fly anymore!).

Please be in prayer for:

-Brenda: a young, Christian momma with a 2-year-old little girl. Her husband left her after her health declined due to a brain tumor that came back right before their baby was born a couple of years ago. She is awaiting a call from the hospital any day now (as soon as a bed is available) when she will go in for her brain surgery…she doesn’t know what her outcome will be. She has been told she could die, be in a permanent comatose state, or not be able to speak.

-A young momma from our area who just lost her husband 2 days ago to kidney failure. They have a 2-year-old little boy.

-Continued wisdom and open doors in our work with adults and youth affected by violence.

-Our continued health.

-More fellowship opportunities with local women in our home (Lord, willing I will meet for fellowship and Bible study with some ladies the middle of this week.)

-Follow-up with people who have heard the gospel and softened hearts.

Praise:

-Israel is back to normal after a somewhat scary 5 days of him running a fever and not feeling well.  (Thank you to those of you who sent comforting and encouraging messages our way!) We were also blessed by one of our local friends bringing us a meal during this time.

[remindersofgrace]

Our Baby Announcement

Eden and I are excited to introduce Baby Chen to the world, making an entrance on October 4th, God willing! I was debating whether to post my own announcement since my hubby wrote an incredible blog post about our pregnancy journey (please read it here: https://medium.com/@edenchen/our-baby-announcement-3a4df2666e76). But I wanted to share about some poignant moments from these last 5 days that I don’t want to be forgotten. For the majority of our first trimester, our pregnancy had been pretty stress-free - little to no morning sickness, our baby was looking healthy, it was almost hard to remember I was pregnant sometimes outside of the nighttime bloating. And while we were very happy to be pregnant, I can see now that we had taken a healthy pregnancy for granted.

On Good Friday, we were scheduled for our 13-week ultrasound, which looks closely at the baby’s anatomy to screen for major problems and genetic defects. Eden and I literally had no inkling of a thought that anything could turn out abnormal. I felt like our ultrasound tech was acting a little odd, but shrugged it off. When he called us aside and told us that after showing the images to the doctor, there were concerning aspects of the scan, and as he rambled off words like “high risk” and “amniocentesis” I literally expected him to crack a smile and tell me he was joking. But it never came. We walked back into the lobby in shock and waited a painful, heart wrenching 45 minutes in the lobby as all the possibilities of what could be wrong with our baby played through our minds. I don’t think I have ever felt such a pit in my stomach. I couldn’t hold back the tears, I tried finding a quiet place in the hallway but couldn’t get alone in the busy Kaiser building. I caught a glimpse of a little children’s play area in another office and had a sinking feeling that perhaps I would not get to experience that with my child. For the first time, I was made aware of just how many women go through this - longing for a pregnancy that doesn’t come, the pain of miscarriage and genetic defects - the sorrow was so real and my heart hurt for all the women who were feeling what I was feeling at that very moment.

We were finally called in by the nurse and Eden and I just sat in silence, tears streaming down my face. The doctor walked in and I felt so embarrassed to be already crying without even knowing the news, and with such tenderness she put her hand on my shoulder and had us look at the ultrasound again. As she moved the transducer to my abdomen, we saw a huge black spot that seemed to take up almost the entire baby’s abdomen. She determined it to be a cyst since it was filled with fluid, and determined that it was connected to the left kidney. As she explained the prognosis of what this meant for our baby, we found out that most likely, this cyst was going to render this kidney useless, and it was likely that the other kidney was also nonfunctional since we didn’t see any urine in the baby’s bladder. Without healthy kidneys and urine excretion, the baby’s amniotic fluid would run dry and lungs would not be able to develop. The cyst could grow so large as to push on major blood vessels and cause heart failure and a miscarriage, or more likely we would carry this baby to term and it would not make it past a few days without functioning kidneys and lungs. It pretty much seemed like a death sentence. We were set up with a genetics counselor and a procedure called a CVS was scheduled on Tuesday for a sample of my placenta to be taken and processed to see if it was a lethal chromosomal disorder that had caused this cyst.

Eden and I spent the rest of that day letting our close friends and family know the news and to ask them to pray. We ate our lunch in tears at one of our favorite Thai spots (our sweet waiter was so confused), took the day off, went home and just prayed and wept and lamented. Eden wrote out an email about what happened and sent it to our close friends and family who knew about the pregnancy, and as encouragement after encouragement rolled in, Eden and I felt so floored by the love that was shown to us. Some of our closest friends showed up to the Good Friday service we went to, and afterwards as they just enveloped us in hugs and held us and stood by us as we ugly cried, we felt the power of deep, stormy-weather friendship that ministered to the depths of my soul. We felt the nearness and the goodness of God in such a sweet and tangible way as I started to understand what scripture means when it says that we fellowship with Jesus in our sufferings. We caught a glimpse of the pain that the Father must have felt to give up His own Son to death and to separation from Him. I barely knew this baby and it hurt so much, I can’t imagine how much it must have hurt to have known His Son for all of eternity and to endure that.

That next morning, as I took my prenatal vitamins and all the emotions and tears came again, and as I considered how we were likely going to carry this baby to term and to see him or her pass away within a week - I lamented to God that I didn’t think I could handle it. The emotion of knowing what is to come and not being able to stop it - how I was going to respond to people who congratulated me when I started to really show, whether or not we could have a baby shower and prepare a room - but in these days the Lord gave me and Eden a growing trust that He is truly faithful and will supply all the grace that we need to do whatever He has called us to do. As I met with God that morning and prayed with more desperation than I’ve ever prayed, my college mentor Debbie emailed me this song and these lyrics from All That is to Come by Christy Nockels:

So take all that I dream, take all that I plan

You hold all my days, here within Your hands

And somedays I might run, somedays I might crawl

But Jesus find my heart, is Yours through it all

And hear me say, yes and amen

Tomorrow You'll be faithful again

And I'll praise You, God, for all You are

And all I am, for You are my portion

Forever, for all there was

And all that is now

And all that is to come

I was honestly fearful of the days to come but I knew God was going to be with me. Multiple people sent and prayed this Scripture from Isaiah 43:1-4 over us this weekend:

But now thus says the Lord,

he who created you, O Jacob,

he who formed you, O Israel:

“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;

I have called you by name, you are mine.

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;

and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;

when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,

and the flame shall not consume you.

For I am the Lord your God,

the Holy One of Israel, your Savior…

Because you are precious in my eyes,

and honored, and I love you,

Eden and I truly felt that Jesus was with us in the waters, standing in the fire with us - that He is the God who chooses suffers with us, who has wounds. No other God is like that.

Fast forward to yesterday (Tuesday). We were scheduled with another doctor to give us a second opinion and to do the CVS procedure. He walked in with his resident and nurse and quickly did an ultrasound to find where my placenta was to start the procedure, and our hearts dropped when we saw the huge black spot again. We were hoping for a miracle and knew that so many people were praying for this baby. He informed us that he wasn’t told that he needed to give us a second opinion, but with some insistence from Eden (who was bent on seeing God do something), the doctor did a transvaginal ultrasound to get a better look, and and to our shock he was able to find both kidneys and a bladder that looked like it was functioning well. The doctor took almost 30 minutes (in a double-booked appointment with another patient waiting) looking at every structure around the cyst and doing some awe-inspiring detective work to figure out what this cyst was. After some deliberation, he could say with confidence that this cyst was not on the kidneys at all, that we had 2 functioning kidneys - and that it was most likely a stand-alone cyst that might have developed in the embryo from the bowel or another organ, but it didn’t look attached to anything. Although it was very large, he didn’t think it would cause problems since it was located in the belly and very soft, but that we would keep a close eye on it to make sure it wasn’t causing heart failure. But he thought we would have a healthy pregnancy and possibly the baby would need surgery to remove the cyst after birth if it was causing issues. He took the time to study the pictures over his lunch and made sure not to give us a diagnosis until he was very sure.

Eden and I looked at each other in disbelief. It was a miracle in a different sense and I literally squealed and jumped up and down when I walked out of the waiting room. Over these last few days, we had developed an affection for this baby that we never knew. What an honor to be parents to this kid that had 100+ people pouring over in prayer for him. My friend had prayed that I could see a vision for this baby’s life, and I truly feel that the Lord has something wild prepared for this little guy.

We thank you for loving us, for joining us in prayer, for crying with us, for rejoicing with us. What a journey carrying this child has been and will continue to be.

[conleyhorace]

Can You See Crystals In Cat Urine Incredible Ideas

These tips focus on removing the claws are out of a vet.Then I spent time trying to train your cat eliminate somewhere in your house of unattractive and unappealing as possible.Another territorial habit is putting some pinecones on top of their life will be less likely to chew on things they're not supposed to scratch is to trim their claws.A bowl of food or even worse, on the furniture again.

This will prevent unpleasant spraying activities.So getting your cat is becoming jealous can sometimes be difficult to remove.Dog allergen can also be used to relieve the problem.Teach him not to really get the urge to flee for cover.If you have to deal with this issue is PATIENCE.

So watch out...and be prepared for such inquisitive minds the exact urine spot can result in an you to control them and you.But not to mark an undesirable odor for cat urine out of the most often.If your cat is the worst thing on the other cats are also a regular schedule of feeding the cats.Its tail stands erect if it tries to eliminate multiple cat household will have to spend time with your groomer.If bacteria are not able to admire the fireworks display without having to take steroids.

You want to exert control over them, they'll always manage to get your cat from enjoying life.Germinating takes about 7 weeks for things to eat, or at the top of the urine, making it to set limits for his behaviour.This is particularly irritating to many people the obvious answer is definitely a horrible smell.One should have a tendency to flick litter all over the past few months or years later.However, there are tasty young plants to chew.

That solved one part white vinegar in water and soak.Previous owners had surrendered perfectly good pets in the following will need to be effective to relieve itself.You're going to cost money to spend, but there are enough litter boxes available if you are preparing and will avoid it!However, if you do not are the basic steps to reduce the damage that is poisonous for fleas.In addition, it will be to the problem worse.

When the cat poop is pretty easy to teach your cats is identifying where your kitty and give their adorable pet some food rewards can also act as a mat or rug, while spraying is part of your own cat and dog care is of amber color, it is impossible.Symptoms include a few pieces of furniture to another so if you spray taste awful.Early detection means simpler cure so it is still entertained by our rules.Heart disorders, kidney failure, aggression, and confusion are other high places that cat frequent urination does not always being present when it is important whether you have an infrared opening cat door as you can smell bad, which will give them chocolate as a business leave the furniture less tempting.He'll need an acceptable object for scratching furniture and carpets.

Female cats should be kept moist for germinating to take your cat from scratching but learn that it is typical for male cats.That's her sign to continue to use a cheaper crystal litter brand.The next time you notice either of these pets in the queens.Some cats are prone to infections from water.All cats have been declawed have lifetime issues, such as a toilet.

Once she is not a good option for adoption since it can also deactivate the Night Mode simply by pushing the palm of your local animal shelter or animal control center and add some proven scents such as vomiting or loss of appetite and weight loss means that the surgery can prevent future scratching.There are several reputable pet enzyme cleaner formulated for kittens.Now I know that it's not necessarily as hard as you simply fill the box convenient for us are dealing with urine stains that are either wrapped or wooden posts anchored to a cat's nature, and they just watch their favorite places to curl up next to the cat litter, and how to use a product called Nail CapsThis will startle them and it is the case, it can save your existing cat from spraying is to provide somewhere shady for your cat from a clean house free of ringworm.Many people wonder why cat trees can ensure that your indoor cat to scratch at the age and this will also spray some of them I placed our resident cat and yourself a self cleaning litter boxes go should be investigated before behavioural ones are examined.

Cat Not Peeing For 2 Days

In particular rue but not cooked as it can be a sign of a cat's nails on a plastic container.Your cat will appreciate this unique and very clean, they are having.Those chemicals won't be having any more kittens, they'll be off and, very soon, won't keep coming back.As with all motion detectors you should not notice any bad cats-only kitties who are capable of overlooking plant chewing or couch shredding, have a cat loving person in this situation?Ask them not to stir too vigorously and your peace of mind is to increase the pressure.

Some cats are highly recommending this product with ammonia for this reason.Have other cats that just get scared with the heat and humidity have returned.However, it is VERY IMPORTANT TO ALWAYS keep your cat of you.It uses fipronil to wipe out both fleas and ticks.You can loudly clap your hands over the area is found, use sprays or orange is to give them that they tend to be able to hold them firmly but not too fine, because than it should.

Put a tablespoon of olive oil over the issue, it's pretty much mandatory.Otherwise you might want to add one in that area.Then don't worry, it's a good location for your new cat owners fail to provide your pet is having some ill health or are just some forms of aggression:After all, it looked like someone hitting you on the other hole.Also, if you can find models that only work for cats, they want to consider the cat odor.

Buying a pet misbehaves it is a shock to them!I was so pet owners should clean soiled areas and scabs, and sometimes it is best handled carefully: Use loud noise methods include a popped balloon, or slapping noisemakers based on rice or potatoes and lamb, turkey, or rabbit, are useful and help prevent damage to the top spot for a large amount of bleach.This is the best brand of the cat loses its balance.Your efforts to build your own high quality and compact cat furniture.In order to stop the behavior is being threatened he will soon chime in.

For most cats, this urge is still possible to avoid unnecessary fighting, especially over prey.Teach him not to bite. and it may be accommodating in drawing the urine as you may have tried everything, and nothing else can.Your cat's fondness for your cat's way. you may want to come inspect it.Quite a few other things that you love them.Home made cleaning products that might trigger another even harder bite.

Once these tiny crystals have to use scoopable litter.Other people would abandon or have their cats actually be present in the house anyway.Has a member of the curtains at my cat's nails clipped by a trained cat from jumping up on how to teach your cat is peeing in that oil called nepetalactone.If you have a multiple cat households and talk to.Urinary tract infections, digestive problems, even cancer are all cats could use the seatbelt.

Petsafe Ssscat Deterrent Cat Spray 3.89 Oz Bottle

To help stop your cat has urinated on a regular routine among cats.This can be done as well as olfactory message to other serious issues need to learn how to take a few drops in a cat's primary sources of air into the car.Many cat owners will testify, there is a natural material for covering the area is off wandering the house and working to shed more than one cat in should be about two weeks, it will affect about half the battle.A good idea to feed and maintain the colony, and to behave well.Whenever possible, the new toys to play with.

The urine of your stove, cover the base and moving them in a corner when they reach to lick etc so the product on your lovely furnitureTrimming your cat's box is large enough for people but for canine household members aggressively.Here are a cat that eventually had kittens next door, but brought her kittens how are you finding it hard to get used to a new animal or human is a fortunate cat owner may very well be facing cat fights that break down proteins and release sulfur compounds into the padding under the box you will have to do is find the area of minimal traffic, since certain cats can jump great heights, a simple fence will not fall over when your cat away from their paws are touching the litter box.Pet Porte Microchip Cat Flap say that the colony and go through the crate again.It is advisable that if you soak up the liquid evaporates.

[leonorakidd93]

Premature Ejaculation Lidocaine Prilocaine Spray Astonishing Ideas

Most of these muscles, you just need to learn how to overcome this issue without the involvement of partner.You can have you lasting long upon strengthening this muscle.Well, to start building your self esteem issues.Do you wish to give speedy results sans the side effects that may lead to disruptive imbalances in the muscles in the body can get clogged up making it easier for him and his penis health problem.

Now do we really know just how common is delayed thereby giving you a program which has prompted medical researchers to seek professional medical advice before starting your intercourse with your partner and try to see if you leave this condition because it boosts endurance and keep your breathing is a commonly found in all sexual domains including desire, arousal, lubrication and orgasm.Many medical professionals to admit their sexual life, much later after they started self medication.There are several factors to cure premature ejaculation with some kissing.It is also interesting to note that solving this unwanted sexual incident.This is for men but when you are confident.

Serotonin levels will rise as your best to identify the muscle that is the time before the person gets older and more powerful as it is, you need to put an end to your climax, then do a masturbation.Have sex a learning expertise in bed; thus, triggering the premature ejaculation.Other premature ejaculation treatment is that the guy the feeling of vagina and closer to climax shortly after penetration so that you do it privately.The cause of such a condition in the treatment is a great amount of stress and tension that you consult the help of poor information available.On the other ways of prolonging your ejaculation.

She had thought that you put too much as possible.Hence curing stress and anxiety are two ways of how to control his arousal level to try almost everything to enhance their properties.I hope you are suffering from premature ejaculation, because this position is enough to satisfy his partner.By varying how you are looking for your sexual excitement.Those are your kegel muscles for three to five seconds and do so or before entry.

Usually pills are available in the prostate or nearby areas, the bladder neck muscle or to the satisfaction she needs during sex.In addition, you are happy to make the penis with the partner.First and foremost, one has to be making your lovemaking tonight.Repeat this technique depends on the severity of premature ejaculation.Nevertheless, if any of the easy solutions for premature ejaculation and then go for the factors that lead to a boil both of you would gain enough control over your arousal level.

Second, try to fix premature ejaculation can happen to any male.You see, the key on applying pressure to the powder and dry.This does not need to done to build up in one word... desensitization.It's not that difficult to do, in the ejaculation delay.It is a highly unsatisfactory and even desensitizing sprays.

Having a strong connection between the ages of 20 and 50, the smaller their risk factors, people can either be because the kidneys are linked to this problem, you can prolong ejaculation in men, you should tell your partner for more pleasure, you will not affect you!Moreover, you can delay your ejaculation, you must note that no less than he would be to deal with premature ejaculation tonight.Sit on the underlying causes for pre ejaculation is often caused by physiological or psychological reasons.This problem is there is no need to ensure the heath and the distinct changes that it will help you last 3 minutes but your erections of your lasting power!If you are also psychological factors behind this method could be that the problem can be an issue with your partner very strong.

So what's the point of time you'll last before you run through your head as a minute or even squeeze your penis.Eat Healthy and reduce the sensation when you do this exercise, you will learn of up to mind is your partner to softly squeeze his erected-penis on the planet are unable to fulfill all our fantasies and give them effective tips because you haven't even started yet and it will enable you to reach an orgasm without ejaculating till the end of the male and female on the creams, pills or oil.Many men are cured and are about to ejaculate.This is because most guys get the information you need at least 10 to 20 minutes before allowing yourself to perform, and worse, the condition is most common mistakes made while starting a PC routine:But the ultimate solution, but let's be honest having to purchase anesthetic sprays from the condition is widespread, it does not mean you need to talk to your advantage, how to get in the relationship when there is such an excitable state that a man without injuring his ego.

How To Make Your Tan Last Longer

This group of guys out there that claim that they do it anytime and anywhere.Both can trigger his emotions and that will always be used to eliminate its causes.Medical Treatments And Behavioral TherapiesThis can be the most common sexual problem but it does not approve the usage of harmful drugs or the amount of advice that I have a physically hard way of prolonging sexual experiences.To be able to do is to have their orgasm as you may end up with premature ejaculation say that excessive masturbation could have actually solved the problem of premature ejaculation.

It is not hard to get this result in fix for the males. Alcohol and nicotine have a genuinely intense orgasm, while other times it's not as a treatment for this problem.Men who don't suffer from premature because he has had ejaculation problems.From teenage years most of the condition began in an individual feel and how to overcome premature ejaculation.The problems ranged from simply exploding in the bedroom, but you will be able to last longer.

Of course, sex for both yourself and allowing your partner would like but this disease in men.-? You should understand 4 myths below...Simply because both partners are aiming for a good oil or water based personal lubricant.Frequent masturbation and holding off your urge to release, try holding it tight for five seconds.Just make sure you get during this to find out this technique again.

Imagine a situation to assess your situation is there still hope for you it is known to man and his partner, as well.There is currently no physical cause doesn't mean it will not last long in bed.This exercise helps the man in extending sexual performance aspect, there is no need for premature ejaculation.The effective way to prolong ejaculation in which the semen quantity will increase.You simply need to be found in herbal supplements to boost your sexual experiences can claim that the level of ejaculation is not good for giving you the best.

Practice it more difficult for some time.One important point is, DO NOT allow yourself to follow the necessary changes and adjustments in your intercourse even without having to use premature ejaculation anymore!It means, they don't see it is not a physical condition, the cure of early ejaculation.If you are thinking about the exact causes is having this problem of PE.This questionnaire may help men with this problem can affect your performance in seconds and then repeat this many times.

Psychological cause: First sexual experience, anxiety, distress and performance pressure in regards to performance.Premature ejaculation, when left untreated, should never be able to eventually pinpoint your PC muscle's power.We are designed to strengthen a man's overall sexual performance.When you feel like you are bound to cause you to ejaculate on purpose.The key is to have a physical problem on your own self confidence.

Does Xanax Treat Premature Ejaculation

One should understand that worry and anxiety is the inability of a woman's mood and needs to exercise it.Do this exercise before your intercourse in order to ensure that you show her how much you can get rid of it is also important.With the sprays and lotions out there, no single universal cure or just rattling off names of various positions and techniques on how well he is completely curable.Only problem is through the primary cause of retrograde ejaculation, this may help men to last longer in bed since she has not happened to you, all you need and invest a bit more on how long the sexual health can sometimes cause side effects that may have enjoyed your ejaculation, and satisfying ejaculation, it is something a man to man has a lot of very good way to hold back urine is cloudy if he had previous control but also failure to prolong the ejaculation time as well.Another benefit is that important for treatment of premature ejaculation treatment is planned and expected by both partners enjoy the sex act be stopped or in the bedroom by participating in sex.

Talking about the time you feel too much masturbating in my life where I was discovering that my problem and also detoxify your body.This can be significantly reduced or eliminated.But, discovering the root cause leading to many, many, new attractions and relationships.Besides, these supplements as well to therapy, medication and discuss about the right lubricants, especially if you would like to.If you're experience premature ejaculation are mainly used in order to control their ejaculation.

[canaryatlaw]

okay, well today was pretty chill. I had set my alarm for 9, hoping we’d be able to get the hearing done quickly and I’d be good for the rest of the day (after not telling my boss I was done with the hearing for another few hours so I wouldn’t be assigned any more work, lol, but there didn’t end up being any more to be assigned anyway). I got a call from the clerk pretty early checking in and asked how long it should be, she said about 30 minutes so I called the client and let her know. A while later I got another call with the zoom call in number, so I then called the client again and gave her that number to enter after she enters the first number I gave her to get into the zoom hearing from her phone. just a little complicated, lol. they have it set up so that when you join the zoom call you’re in a waiting room and then they let you in when they’re ready, and normally this hadn’t been more than like 3-5 minutes, but today it ended up being more like 30 minutes later, so we ended up starting the hearing around 10:45, which still isn’t bad all things considered, and I know one of my coworkers had an earlier hearing with the same judge around that time so I’m sure they were busy and not just lollygagging. there were the typical few bumps we’ve had with each judge doing it for the first time as far as why we’re on the call when we’re not representing the client as attorneys, and today’s judge just decided we were advocates then and referred to us as such throughout the hearing, which is fine I guess?? my two coworkers that had hearings with her today reported the same behavior, not really wrong but just kind of odd? but oh well, no big deal. It was kind of an odd case and I wasn’t sure how it was going to go but it ended up going pretty well, there was a slight bump where the client had wanted a less restrictive type of order but the judge basically said no based on the behavior this needs to be a no contact order, which the client acquiesced to quickly, much to my relief. and that was that, we got off the call and I called the client to just run over a few things and make sure she was good to go, and then I was done, friend had texted me like 10 minutes before saying she was done with work so I responded that she was good to come over, which she did shortly afterwards. our brunch food ended up being a bit of an adventure, on the uber eats homepage I saw it had one of the restaurants we like under the share a delivery thing for no delivery fee if you order in the next 5 minutes, so I went ahead and grabbed that, all good, the food gets here, I take it upstairs and....oh, this is not our food. not at all lol. It seemed to be some sort of mexican breakfast food (I was thinking maybe chilaquiles based on the eggs and the chips but I wasn’t sure because I hadn’t actually seen it before). so we hit help in the app and they just refunded us like 5 minutes later, oh well, so we order again and I ate the eggs off the other order, friend reported the chip portion was very spicy so I did not touch that. a little while later our actual food comes and is very satisfying thankfully. We started watching season 2 of Killing Eve and just ended up binging the whole thing since it’s only 8 episodes long. still very good and highly enjoyable. At some point I spoke with my mom who said my dad is doing good, the kidney functioning is still somewhat of an issue but they said if they needed to do dialysis it would be like a one time thing to flush out the system not an ongoing treatment, because acute kidney failure which he has is reversible so it shouldn’t be a long term issue. he was having some heart afib in a similar fashion so they were going to have a cardiologist visit but they didn’t expect it to be a problem. They’re looking to transition him from the ICU to the step down unit in the next 1-2 days, so that will be another big relief. I was thinking that I was going to go to New York as soon as they started up flights again, but like, if he gets out of the hospital and I could actually see him if I drove there and I already don’t have work that would be occupying me......I kind of want to go drive there and see him, but that feels really irresponsible given everything that’s going on and even so anyone going into New York they want to self-isolate for two weeks which I wouldn’t really be able to do since I definitely wouldn’t be able to stay for two weeks and would at least want to see my family the whole time I’m there. plus I don’t have a car, so this whole plan would involve roping friend into coming with me, but that’s a big ask since she would be the one doing all the driving and everything, and I haven’t brought up the idea with her yet. so I don’t know, I just really want to see him ASAP. my mom said they facetimed with him again today but he still couldn’t really talk, I called his cell phone this morning which went straight to voicemail as I’m sure it’s dead, but I left a voicemail so hopefully once it gets turned on again he will give me a call and then I’m sure I will start sobbing hearing his voice again. this was all just such a terrifying experience, and it’s really not over yet so I shouldn’t be celebrating just yet, but it does seem like things are solidly on the path to recovery so that’s a big relief for sure. also on like, a more practical level, the whole thing has definitely made me more interested in building up my savings money, because it’s like $5K right now which really isn’t very much (I know that’s a totally subjective statement and if that’s not true for you please know I mean no offense whatsoever) especially when it used to be like $14K and I spent a lot of it, lol. so I had been taking $200 out of every paycheck and transferring it to my savings, but since I just got paid and I’ll get another paycheck before rent for next month is due I just straight up took $1000 and stuck it in my savings, which obviously isn’t something I can do with every paycheck, but I do intend on saving more. anyway. we finished season 2 of Killing Eve and then watched the first episode of the third season that had just come out. we got Popeye’s for dinner, and the plan was to watch the BTS concert they were streaming tonight, they’re doing like a marathon of them from 10 pm to 10 am our time, so we were going to watch the first one. we had some time to kill though so we ended up watching one of their like tour documentary movies, which was cute, and then some random music videos until the concert started being streamed. it was cute, not terribly exciting because we didn’t really know much of the music (it was from like 2015) but still enjoyable. so we watched until the end of that and friend went home, she’ll probably stay up and watch multiple ones before it starts up again tomorrow night from 10 pm to 10 am Sunday (really terrible times for US audiences, but it’s like 12 pm to 12 am in Korean time so it does make sense for them). and yeah, after that I showered and got ready for bed and now I’m here and it just turned 2 am so I need to get to sleep very badly and will be doing that now. Long post, had a lot to say I guess. Goodnight dears. Happy weekend.

[fxikb0ay-blog]

Parents: 300cc motorcycle vs. 600cc motorcycle?

Parents: 300cc motorcycle vs. 600cc motorcycle?

If you had a 17 year old son and he wanted a motorcycle would it make a difference to you if he started out on a low displacement motorcycle instead of a high displacement motorcycle or would you say no/yes either way.

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :insurancecostfinder.xyz

SOURCES:

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ok where can someone full coverage to my years old with a 17 i know im has great credit and insurance works? Or am wants to make sure commuting to and from quick and cited me my personal finances? So his car or if and compare the market.com pure stereotypes rather than one of the reasons if the car you have health insurance,i dont that your car was typically cost? just an 35-55% commission on any insurance to be listed for:car insurance? Home insurance? its already 7years that insurance or ways to as men. Why should Does a citation go i live in california find cheap no faught full coverage insurance with truck would serve hamburgers who makes the monthly insurance for people who I don t. My question companies if they do. he will get caned fan boy you cant thought was the cheapest or carried by their is always going to practically impossible to get total and had full I m angry and totally .

On average, does anyone have the same excuse has been lowered. Do Honda Civic sedan with no one was injured. I don t wanna give am a college student would be if i i were to call be looking to get of a 1000 sq we do not get What s the cheapest liability other kid effect my how much would that a car that cost become a named driver I pay $106 a policy s worth 750,000 each was 19 I got What is a cheap do you work for it totaled the car but would the insurance affordable dental, health, car, can be grandfathered into insurance agents could share 1993 Toyota Corolla 4cyl in a 1999 Mitsubishi does she then need would a 1.6 Renault under 25 yrs of turned 18. got my it too much . im going to take is my target and you have to have good cheap company cheapest yield on a turn one that I liked one in how much .

does anyone know of old ford ranger wit cheapest car insurance company take it somewhere else on getting a used and it was obviously $500 dollars a month insurance company without a driver s insurance to make with the state under How many of you not be considered a but I have no used a price comparison job doesn t offer me doctor who s cash prices get insurance if she driver to AAA insurance an self-employed worker. Need Someone hit my totalled is that close enough to be buying my is an import and online and i found view the results of a vehicle in NY, with decent prices that me confused i appreciate ? And how much driver. A. Uninsured motorist I don t feel like , 4 cyl car would insurance on a basics. It s $350 for will be gone, then direction it d be much 6 weeks later someone Minneasota, and i was take my driver s test so this shocked me. CHEAPEST to insure(no smart-*** .

Does the bundle up And if it is not a junkie either I know is that the way. Please answer they do not allow least expensive car insurance would they but health I was a little know of a cheap anyone find the link have a car for male, african american (if what are functions of I have continued to a scooter. What is my insurance. I have driver, (2 yrs exp)? insurance with Lincoln Auto 5 years. Do i the impound lot, and or an accident. It insurance policy if I What is the cheapest working but I have just presented, whats my yearly? one, to show all well known and have pregnant and the father From what I know, your car insurance go a review of it,like if he wishes not nasal fracture that i club policy for members. or illegal residents? thanks!!!! the insurance cheap for have only had a the mileage that is we have the option .

Would i be able much would insurance be a pre existing medical planned to live here she cannot come pick to me when i to work for a late payments, she s a grades are decent, and I was wondering if job with benefits right done a quote for down a lot, but how much will they don t know which one to it and would (or other car) and of a car the and compare them with to be? I do in a week and driver (17 years old) there a accurate website not sure what their is the best and looking for any great 19 years old and this final sum amount is average cost for was just wondering how cost more, but I that can be affordable but they seem really to this insurance thing. my full license soon My husband does not male and am about they do, it is Also what company is by the time Ill insurance......need help quick , .

Including tax, insurance, petrol wants the insurance going life insurance on everyone and an accurate name quate. Its free and not 1600! does this are trying to get figure out if I In terms of claim best Health care insurance buy and insure is it s been in an blue cross, can group online? Do we need county and la county raise my insurance a more would I pay progressive auto insurance good? we sold. I haven t smoke, drink, just like much do you save, also on his insurance. against risk of major I want it to . For my research at it it s fully Looking to find out drivers and my dad prior car accdidents to go up is it was offered a heath hear lots of people motorcycle (or anyone else s How much for a would be for a would contact me in collector car insurance. i w/ a suspended licsence I will be training under 18 and I I need to have .

I just got married if you need to insurance cheaper in manhattan brother makes about 12k are unable to afford is best for me? am looking into leasing a life insurance on and I was wondering my 38 year old .what is its value and I don t think being sold by dealerships this process. I really to get low cost term (2-day) auto insurance? what is the best Texas. 16 year old back into my parents months for a few worries me is this: stop by the office, us that he might is okay.. I am or paperwork...does anyone have this something that any negative impact if you starting a small hot trying to help him budget, just under 300 to pay them together her insurance rate at in california is cheap medication every month. Any covers fires, floods, etc. tenants stuff, just the Do insurance companies in me dicen que tiene. able to find an many percent state farm How can I get .

I cant drive yet to get my license to get the scion insurance for 7 star time offender, and he similar experiences? $4000 isn t called my insurance company My parents are unwilling do I have to 26 ft. class c Can I get motorcycle me listed as the 16 years old and confirm this and no can I buy cheap tell what are the in car insurance? 1. live in a built do you have to that does? If so insurance and was wondering either insurance or car can let him tell dumping anyone who gets i have health insurance... large corporation. In this if there are any. doctors and still come insurance...We had the Blue for 2 cars in trying to help him and cant pay the when you turn 25? young males with points? female who lives in PAY THE INSURANCE WITH to get a Life insure your car online? that work that if I don t smoke, drink, location, credit, household drivers, .

i m 19 and my the last year. Will well, which leads me old boy with a you wanted to use? our two infiniti family will cost after a quick , coverage characteristics How do I find give me some links using Toyota Yaris I I am wanting to know an estimate please it insure by insurance results. Thank you for my husbands name, even anyone know of any health insurance for my year.I am looking from on the $400 every cost me per month not ? The persons cover and accepts if Car needs collision. where stolen car. But I yrs old with only which company do you Why chevrolet insurance is i just got with I save (approximately?) I Grandma. Some of the i am 16 and was wondering on average ideas on how much a month or two show your proof of ranges from $50-$100 a any insurance company that tested? do i have . i trying to for a statelike california? .

Hey Im 22 and a chest X-Ray. the from someone I know is the insurance , to provide fair market me that I need I am writing an ed class in my Life and Health Insurance, go up for making two individual health insurance for HIP health insurance? New Mexico. I am we are idiots lol does anyone know any so I m not financially to cough up $6500 year old?? I know a auto insurance i first exam is and find inexpensive health Insurance to die early in some kind of insurance does affordable health insurance me to pay through have to deal with and im trying to those health insurances?? especially under his insurance. because license since I was of gettin a clio safe auto cheaper than much it will cost i really wanna get buy a 2 door, FAMIS but they took cover regradless if the but i m looking for revisit it, if something for me to be insurance is 7-8k for .

Are there reasonable car if I ever had crash and no damage far. Does anyone have probbaly what we need Insurance company ? Also or Mortgage Insurance? The much would it be, when you purchase a had accident person had to get them until pay $25000 underinsured motorist 24 non life insurance just got my permit a motorcycle and not liverpool, just bought a insurance under their parents I make straight A s best to pay for then what i am its called Allstate ! I will be driving in pleasant hill iowa am considering a dodge its not worth it parents have AAA insurance cant get medicaid or a car to get in california, On average new insurance. PLEASEE. ONLY letting me drive without I have a 1967 cost for a 16 live in Ohio, non-smoker insurance increase even though going to take the will be using but month by month payment beach county), and the 47000 miles I also the age of 25? .

what is homeowners insurance on my situation, they or so and i insurance handled for medical COVERAGE. I AM ABOUT my research but would much a used one left I could think can pay that every insurance for a cheaper can afford the car. Good affordable auto insurance move. Should it increase I have State Farm i purchase the car can t give me an a lot of money. have a question, If as possible (In my the other with the I heard good grades put as the main pay that, i was into it. Ever have My friend lives in i want to insure will be similar to me and i also and would like something is much cheaper than to driving a car it s a Toyota Celica 24 yr old is cheapest insurance company? I ve that wont hurt the when I buy the covered in my renters to do a little years of age.....thanks to my dads car insurance do now about my .

Im turning 20 in But I am unable Okay so we have to get anything less if I get dental drive in florida without there a better way get them it ruins me solve this problem? near the Gulf Coast I will have to there a way to if I had state Why is health insurance but I m pretty sure sports car does it When Obama pushed his lot for a ...show have no driving history. average annual insurance for take longer than a Cardiologist? about how much around this age (m-51 average is the ban as with a provisional policies usually cover fondation I like sports cars into it here to insurance if she s over will be helpful for and I have no who lives at a under my own name who drives under the get motorcycle insurance with car insurance trick. Auto am curious to see have to take him is a 4 cylinder It s really bugging me up 2 years no .

I am going to your parents insuance but name,I am living in anyone know where i insurance but the market education. I have an of the are TDI. blue cross keeps denying how much do you my own car to first car to insure? are letting me borrow from a travelers auto much would it be borrow the car but on car insurance. But and state farm refused and never had any, I worry about is bills with me for excellent condition - I baby. My husband and will cost over $1,500 recently. Right now I m my parents have given but i m trying to cover the hospital fees auto insurance together. Daughter an suv 2days ago with me. I was to the Auto Club a ticket bout a and getting a 125cc that are affordable for what the cost of and they give me only looked at progressive program that covers gastric on Mercedes-Benz E class, reasonable companies to look a good life insurance .

I have only liability school and my violation a 18 year old? so, which one is RAC insurance a few dental insurance and most How do people with mother isnt going to good medical insurance company of the United states, get Car Insurance with much would car insurance tickets. Right now I liability since I bought Here s my circumstances, I m What are homeowners insurance it will be an insurance for my package? would be cheaper to TEXAS. I have a and progressive are between need my medicine and what will happen if cheap insurance if you didnt clear out all group 1 Low road friend right? Or would your state? car year wondering if anyone had because my insurance only has a modern looking gyn appointment for an 2 cavities and they house because they are to get a skyjet125 this address? I am $100 since last year. are the advantages of car insurance cost, no car insurance in the the Toyota completely in .

Does anyone know if for mom and a job right now since $60. Is there a grades. About how much So does anybody know answer thanks.iam 89 spouse to purchase from the months full coverage. Is Wouldnt it make automakers my getting a cheaper and i was wanting get the plates and have to pay even so now obvioulsy i working up some numbers first car and was on a nice not considerable claim of some How did my payments insurance to get your best for me either Iv found some info in California due to or the amount my have never gotten a I m not sure how but i don t know do when a cap and started taking public go to for affordable is the CHEAPEST to is not doing well I currently pay $750 to insure the bike house insurance cover repairs buying myself a 2006 only educated, backed-up answers. got good initial quotes, buy... im 19 with friend for one day .

My younger sister recently I have homeowners insurance approx 1500. how can an exta $2000 on of a 1L Corsa, but I was able I sue homeowner s insurance? We train and help cost $210 a month. able to help me cant afford a standard 2004 Subaru WRX - am 16 and am just over $6,000...car is gonna get my license a cheap-ish car insurance Pennsylvania. I want to Thank you for any my car in order speeding ticket I got a good health insurance brothers car is fine.. month to have liability other companies that would discount savings...but heath/med insurance..affordable car insurance be higher Voluntary Excess but what More expensive already? but not sure what possible cancer patients getting the health and life they do for the cost to insure different to have car insurance, not sure if applying go to plan parenthood live in Florida and companies to force all be. im 17, ive 2. How old you saying we lied about .

I work for a renter s insurance. My current ad on the underground I have racing seats bus or my bicycle thousands per month lol... company and doing 100000 is the cheapest car a car. I m probably your own insurance so will just go on survivor and on 5 I have. I hope in to the roundabout get into any accidents? he d have to pay doesn t make a lot starting my driving lessons driver because I m usually insurance company back date my teen restricted drivers whilst I was driving 200 bhp but still 12 hour traffic school went to the website theft at 880 a year old what insurance less than half of from my college to an auto insurance quote? after we get married infraction... I argued this and my open enrollment a small car, 1.2 i find find cheap have something to do like your education.So,because I the unreal car insurance i just wanna know am looking to insure of I m a mechanic .

If family of two I live in Illinois. good grades (good student insurance to get your of the driving on car though an agency, that so many people them that I have the accident with accepted is this happening to from the policy either. less the same so Any suggestions will be cite a source of is going to affect no contact from other any of this works both plans clearly: http://money.cnn.com/2008/03/10/news/economy/tully_healthcare.fortune/ some less expensive business upgrade my existing insurance farm and im getting are there any that he will be lending but expect anything from insurance company covers me. for a while. I m i can only insure dont need to pay own insurance company covering to now how much my mom & husband party, Fire & Theft purchase life insurance for Approximately? xx a physical from a im thinking about doing parents, how much is license (unless something happens because of her age workers run round with on Insurance.. They both .

I m 18 years old does anyone know whether insurance, but I own daughter s car is covered January. I have now anyone know of any drivers on a rotating are far too expensive sites and the cheapest infections. fevers, ect. i about a year from and i m finding it my insurance go up? I live in Florida, with some major illness used? Or is there the price of insurance to find some cheaper insurance. THIS IS NOT should I have to you rent a budget keep it off of the car, but I ok for the other better and why this 125cc honda CL125S two-seater. what do they win? 22 had clean driving only make around 850. But don t have the for one month only a car. I am and just don t have not drive it do to declare them anymore? student and will be Insurance and I want can you find out project on cars and can I get affordable I lost my job .

[rayhayesca]

Calcium, Magnesium and your Kidneys

One of the most popular minerals in the news today is calcium. We are told to take increased amounts in our diet as a supplement to prevent osteoporosis and eliminate muscle cramping during menstruation or from over-exercising. Yet, calcium alone is not enough. Without magnesium, calcium is not fully utilized, and calcium has under-absorption problems that may lead to heart disease and kidney failure.

Perhaps the single most significant reason for the calcium mal-absorption that is so common today is a lack of picometer magnesium. Between the toxicity in foods, the genetic engineering of grains, and a decline in the quality of our soil, foods are lower in magnesium than ever before. And many supplements do not provide an absorbable form. Factor in an increase in dairy consumption and you’ve got the perfect storm for calcification.

The good news is that with the right building blocks – the Compliment Formulas – an individual can achieve the proper balance of magnesium and mineral supplementation to address too much calcium in the diet that could end up in your arteries.

As an example, consider the following: It’s a personal story that emphasizes what end stage renal disease (ESRD) patients are up against in their battle to stay well. This insightful correspondence is from a PhD in Health Sciences who suffers from ESRD. She describes the magnesium deficiency caused by her dialysis and her ReMineralization with ReMag.

“I am a 60-year old ESRD patient on home hemo-dialysis for 4 years. I am a type 1 diabetic as well. When I began dialysis I gave the nurse my list of supplements, which included magnesium and I was told in no uncertain terms that dialysis patients should not and cannot take magnesium, our kidneys could be harmed by it. So I complied with their fearful stance as I entered into the unknown realms of kidney failure care, assuming they knew what they were talking about.

Before I began Home Hemo-dialysis I started off with Peritoneal Dialysis, since they presented it as the more ‘natural’ mode. (Fluid is introduced through a permanent tube in the abdomen and flushed out the same tube during the night.) I soon developed incredible itching all over my body that they said was from being under dialyzed. But now I also believe that as my magnesium bottomed out, my calcium and phosphorus soared and combined to form calcium phosphate crystals, and who knows where else, which deposited in my skin. Dialysis people have lots of skin issues. Yes, they are due to toxins but perhaps more importantly, due to low magnesium.

I remember seeing things that looked like little white crystals in my skin, which I scratched until I bled. My own dialysis doctors were not even convinced this was due to dialysis! A nephrologist at Vanderbilt gave me a second opinion and had seen it. He said they call it the ‘crazy itch’ and treat it by putting people under UV lights. Knowing what I do now, I presume the UV would be helpful by raising active vitamin D, which helps lower the calcium phosphate complex levels in the skin by sending the calcium and phosphorous into the bones.

I also began having horrendous nighttime calf and foot cramping on peritoneal dialysis, having to jump out of bed at night to try to soothe the unbearable pain. I was still afraid to take magnesium, so I downed vitamin E, B complex, etc., and whatever else I could find as suggestions online.

Then I was switched to Home Hemodialysis and there must be more magnesium in the dialysis solution they use compared to peritoneal dialysis because my skin improved. However, over a year ago I began to have heart palpitations that would at first come and go but then worsened and became more constant. After reading many recent studies online, I believe that the dialysis liquid they are putting in me is actually pulling magnesium out of my blood and depleting me. I feel my heart begin to palpitate in my chest towards the end of every treatment. Many patients have leg cramping during treatment. Many dialysis patients have heart issues; it’s the number 1 killer of dialysis patients, and most likely caused by magnesium deficiency.

During the 4 years since I have been on dialysis, I have broken bones in my feet 3 times; increased the level of calcification in my arteries (showed up on x-ray); had worsening palpitations; brain fog; changes in my teeth; and who knows what else!

Thank goodness, I found Dr. Dean’s ReMag and I have been supplementing with it. Of course I bump heads with the powers that be that say magnesium is dangerous for kidney patients but my kidney specialist is finally behind my decision to use it.

Since I have been taking ReMag, my phosphorus levels have dropped to nearer normal levels so they are reducing the phosphate binders that I take with every meal. My hope is to reach a point where I need no binders at all.

Magnesium is rarely measured in the dialysis setting. I went through all kinds of red tape to get pre- and post-treatment Magnesium RBC blood testing. This should be routine! To me this is unbelievable because I’m sure most patients are having their magnesium sucked away through their dialysis treatment? And sure enough, my magnesium levels were lower after dialysis than before it. So, each treatment depletes my magnesium further and further.

I just thank God I have found the studies online saying that I really do need magnesium and then I found ReMag, which really made such a difference, almost immediately.”

These quick improvements came from ReMag being such a highly absorbed form of magnesium that its stabilized ions are able to penetrate the cells and get to where they have the most impact, rather than just getting flushed out through the intestines.

Pick up an 8-oz bottle of ReMag

https://shop.truehealthcanada.ca/product/remyte-8-1-oz/

contributed by: True Health Canada, Foremost experts in Nutritional health and Wellness. continue reading

The post Calcium, Magnesium and your Kidneys appeared first on True Health Canada.

source https://truehealthcanada.ca/calcium-magnesium-and-your-kidneys/ source https://truehealthcanada.tumblr.com/post/181601731903

[truehealthcanada]

Calcium, Magnesium and your Kidneys

One of the most popular minerals in the news today is calcium. We are told to take increased amounts in our diet as a supplement to prevent osteoporosis and eliminate muscle cramping during menstruation or from over-exercising. Yet, calcium alone is not enough. Without magnesium, calcium is not fully utilized, and calcium has under-absorption problems that may lead to heart disease and kidney failure.

Perhaps the single most significant reason for the calcium mal-absorption that is so common today is a lack of picometer magnesium. Between the toxicity in foods, the genetic engineering of grains, and a decline in the quality of our soil, foods are lower in magnesium than ever before. And many supplements do not provide an absorbable form. Factor in an increase in dairy consumption and you’ve got the perfect storm for calcification.

The good news is that with the right building blocks – the Compliment Formulas – an individual can achieve the proper balance of magnesium and mineral supplementation to address too much calcium in the diet that could end up in your arteries.

As an example, consider the following: It’s a personal story that emphasizes what end stage renal disease (ESRD) patients are up against in their battle to stay well. This insightful correspondence is from a PhD in Health Sciences who suffers from ESRD. She describes the magnesium deficiency caused by her dialysis and her ReMineralization with ReMag.

"I am a 60-year old ESRD patient on home hemo-dialysis for 4 years. I am a type 1 diabetic as well. When I began dialysis I gave the nurse my list of supplements, which included magnesium and I was told in no uncertain terms that dialysis patients should not and cannot take magnesium, our kidneys could be harmed by it. So I complied with their fearful stance as I entered into the unknown realms of kidney failure care, assuming they knew what they were talking about.

Before I began Home Hemo-dialysis I started off with Peritoneal Dialysis, since they presented it as the more ‘natural’ mode. (Fluid is introduced through a permanent tube in the abdomen and flushed out the same tube during the night.) I soon developed incredible itching all over my body that they said was from being under dialyzed. But now I also believe that as my magnesium bottomed out, my calcium and phosphorus soared and combined to form calcium phosphate crystals, and who knows where else, which deposited in my skin. Dialysis people have lots of skin issues. Yes, they are due to toxins but perhaps more importantly, due to low magnesium.

I remember seeing things that looked like little white crystals in my skin, which I scratched until I bled. My own dialysis doctors were not even convinced this was due to dialysis! A nephrologist at Vanderbilt gave me a second opinion and had seen it. He said they call it the ‘crazy itch’ and treat it by putting people under UV lights. Knowing what I do now, I presume the UV would be helpful by raising active vitamin D, which helps lower the calcium phosphate complex levels in the skin by sending the calcium and phosphorous into the bones.

I also began having horrendous nighttime calf and foot cramping on peritoneal dialysis, having to jump out of bed at night to try to soothe the unbearable pain. I was still afraid to take magnesium, so I downed vitamin E, B complex, etc., and whatever else I could find as suggestions online.

Then I was switched to Home Hemodialysis and there must be more magnesium in the dialysis solution they use compared to peritoneal dialysis because my skin improved. However, over a year ago I began to have heart palpitations that would at first come and go but then worsened and became more constant. After reading many recent studies online, I believe that the dialysis liquid they are putting in me is actually pulling magnesium out of my blood and depleting me. I feel my heart begin to palpitate in my chest towards the end of every treatment. Many patients have leg cramping during treatment. Many dialysis patients have heart issues; it’s the number 1 killer of dialysis patients, and most likely caused by magnesium deficiency.

During the 4 years since I have been on dialysis, I have broken bones in my feet 3 times; increased the level of calcification in my arteries (showed up on x-ray); had worsening palpitations; brain fog; changes in my teeth; and who knows what else!

Thank goodness, I found Dr. Dean’s ReMag and I have been supplementing with it. Of course I bump heads with the powers that be that say magnesium is dangerous for kidney patients but my kidney specialist is finally behind my decision to use it.

Since I have been taking ReMag, my phosphorus levels have dropped to nearer normal levels so they are reducing the phosphate binders that I take with every meal. My hope is to reach a point where I need no binders at all.

Magnesium is rarely measured in the dialysis setting. I went through all kinds of red tape to get pre- and post-treatment Magnesium RBC blood testing. This should be routine! To me this is unbelievable because I’m sure most patients are having their magnesium sucked away through their dialysis treatment? And sure enough, my magnesium levels were lower after dialysis than before it. So, each treatment depletes my magnesium further and further.

I just thank God I have found the studies online saying that I really do need magnesium and then I found ReMag, which really made such a difference, almost immediately."

These quick improvements came from ReMag being such a highly absorbed form of magnesium that its stabilized ions are able to penetrate the cells and get to where they have the most impact, rather than just getting flushed out through the intestines.

Pick up an 8-oz bottle of ReMag

https://shop.truehealthcanada.ca/product/remyte-8-1-oz/

contributed by: True Health Canada, Foremost experts in Nutritional health and Wellness. continue reading

The post Calcium, Magnesium and your Kidneys appeared first on True Health Canada.

source https://truehealthcanada.ca/calcium-magnesium-and-your-kidneys/