#and shes making a whole bunch of new leaves like im sorry honey its still january you just arent in the flux equiv of an underground shed

[wizardmp3]

shes literally getting so pink

[multiplefandomsblog]

Can i request how different idv characters would act as roommates? Eli, Helena, Luca, Edgar, Vera, Norton and Fiona if thats alright with you :DDD

warnings? kinda suggestive, crack fic, cussing

mod toby and mod bread helped me do this fic, its a bit all over the place but it was fun so no regrets

Eli Clark

I feel like being roommates with eli would be pretty pleasant

everything would be clean all the time

he’s the type of kid that everyone wants on their team because of how good he is at everything

so if you scored a roomie like him, you got super lucky

if you left a mess he wouldn’t get mad, he would probably just clean it up himself and leave a sticky note that said to clean up ur mess next time(but not like, passive aggressively)

ofc you would clean up after the cute sticky note, bc who can say no to this bb? 

If you don’t clean up tho, brooke rose will probably shit on your hair when u sleep

tbh you’ve always wondered what eli looked like without his eye mask

so one time when Eli was sleeping, you went next to his bed to try and take his eye mask off and see what he looks like.

You took off the mask and found out it was a dummy 

a few seconds later you heard footsteps and you turned around

Eli came up behind you and knocked you out with a bat

you two don’t speak of that day.

Brooke kept screeching last night, and you got no sleep at all, so I guess we’re having chicken for dinner 

Unless you had a good reason, then eli and brooke prob won’t mind cleaning up after u

I can imagine you going back to your shared room in the manor after a rough match and seeing eli just sweeping the room in an apron and a cloth covering his hair looking like cinderella

“Honey, I’m home!”

basically if you lived with eli, you basically had a husband/mom/wife???

If you came back to the manor, beaten up and bruised from the last match he would prob pester you and nag you

while cleaning up you wounds he would prob say, “You have to be more careful, im always worrying. You’re gonna give your mom a heart attack!”

seriously tho, don’t worry this bb, he would actually have a heart attack

Helena Adams

i think living with helena would probably feel like some sort of kdrama

she might be a bit clumsy and trip over a few things, falling into your arms bc of her blindness

though she might be doing it on purpose

If you moved things in the room without telling her, she would probably get mad

for example, you move the sofa chair a little bit to the right bc you thought it looked better

helena walks in the room, sits down on the sofa chair and ends up accidentally sitting on the sofa chair arm rest instead

resulting in her bottom hurting and a very long talk with you

she got her revenge weeks later

she had asked you to check under her bed for monsters because she couldn’t do it herself

you were teasing her for still being afraid of monsters but looked underneath anyways

low and behold, 

she put a mirror there.

will even wack you with her cane if you’re being annoying

Her cane is pretty affective in shutting you up lol only sometimes

“Hey Helena, are you braille? ‘cause i can read you like a book when i touch yo-” *wack* *moans*

helena: ...

you: ...

helena: ...im leaving

you: heleNA WAIT-

One time everyone at the manor was celebrating Helena’s birthday with a piñata, 2 seconds later she was beating the shit out of Luca with her cane

even after everyone’s been yelling that he wasn’t the piñata

One time you and Helena had a staring contest because you were both bored.

She won.

sometimes to get her close to you, you would sit on the sofa chair super quietly and still

And then you’d wait for her to come and sit on your lap thinking it was the chair

and it would work 

she would probably sit on your lap for a few minutes, confused as to why the chair felt elevated

and then she would feel your arms snake around her waist

and she would- “whAT THE FUCK- SCREEEEEEE”

she would probably make a cute bird noise and then just sit there, not knowing if she should leave or not

in her head, “THEIR LAP IS SO WARM OH MY GOD WHY DIDN’T THIS HAPPEN SOONER”

in real life, “let go of me you pathetic mortal”

you’d beg her to stay on ur lap longer and she would cave in

but she didn’t stay because she liked you! baka

Luca Balsa

living with luca will probably be the opposite of eli’s

messes, everywhere

inventions, everywhere

at one point though you had a sneaking suspicion he might be a bunch of rats.

 you saw him outside crouching beside you guys’ room with a bunch of rats coming out his sleeve and running into a crack in the building

“its for science!”

he’s also super scared of helena

Luca doesn’t like to admit it, but he got his purple eye from Helena after he made a bad pick-up line for the blind. 

She’s been chanting “one of us” and threatening to “finish the job” ever since.

he’s basically a big baby that needs to be taken care of

i feel like he might break down sometimes from not doing his invention right, or feeling insecure

but i guess his rats are there to help

but since he had a roomie, he wouldn’t be able to cry on his own

and its a good thing because he doesnt have to do everything by himself anymore

he learns to ask for help when living with you

you’d help him through his episodes and he would slowly start to become more reliant on you

if he was feeling a bit moody, he would unconsciously try to find you to cuddle with

if you lived with him, you’d probably have to be very responsible

luca would have his own bed that he would never sleep in because he wouldn’t be able to sleep without you in his arms

everytime he shifts in bed, you’d feel a tiny shock

it kinda bothered you so

you pranked Luca by touching him with those zappy ring things you’d get from a dollar store.

You just wanted that mother fucker to get a taste of his own medicine

he would basically be a puppy that follow you around, he would constantly old your head

probably refers to you as his

like if you downed a shot that barmaid made for you, he would be like, “EYYYY THATS MY BABy-heurghrhgh”

now you have a drunk baby that you have to take care of

You tried giving luca a shower afterwards, now you know how it feels getting electrocuted.

And trust me, Luca and water do not mix.

good luck have fun

Edgar Valden

living with edgar would consist of 

1. edgar being super specific of what was his and what you can’t touch

2. big tsundere baby

3. sketches of you hiding in his sketch book

if you lived with edgar, you’d have to be super patient with his nagging or else you’d have to find a new roomie

he’s constantly nagging you

but if you are tired of it and give him the silent treatment, he’d probably just nag you even more for attention

you need to give this man attention or else

you ignored him for a whole day once because he said something mean

he decided to give you some milk and cookies as an apology

the ‘milk’ was his muddy paint water and the cookies were expired

i feel like one day you two would be arguing about who moved his stuff, your argument being he unconsciously moved his stuff, his argument being you moved his stuff

you guys were so heated up you didn’t notice how close you two were getting

edgar ended up pouncing on you like a feral dog

though when you woke up, you both agreed that you ended up winning the argument

when you’re reading or just doing nothing, he’d ask to sketch you or paint you

i-its not because he thinks you’re beautiful or anything

its just because he thinks that your whole self is aesthetically pleasing and pleasing to the eye- but not because he thinks you’re pretty!

sometimes when he was super focused on his art, he wouldn’t notice your figure slowly approach him

you’d boop his nose and watch as he froze

wh- hoW DARE YOU LAY YOUR HANDS ON A VALDEN

secretly tho, he really loves it when you do that.

like

do it more

please or not whatever

Vera Nair

Vera would probably be a bit anxious when she heard she was gonna get a roomie

but she would do her best to be at her best behaviour

she’s very well mannered and is very polite

she’d kinda be the type to silently care for you

like, she’d notice the little things that bothered you and made sure they wouldn’t bother you ever again

like, if you stubbed your toe alot, she would give everything that you could stub your toe with, rubber covers or socks

but she wouldn’t tell you it was her even though it was obviously her

if you fell asleep on your desk instead of your bed, she would probably but a blanket on ur shoulders and a pillow underneath where you left your head

she’s the thoughtful type

before you went for matches, she’d give you a cheek kiss for good luck

and if you did the same, she would probably play it cool but then panic a second later.

theykissedmetheykissedmetheykissedme-

im sorry this is short idk what to do for her-

Norton Campbell

oh BOY

once norton starts to warm up to you, you guys are basically married

like there was no proposal, just “do you take this man to be your husband- you can’t say no”

he would probably take care of you alot

even when you didn’t need it

i can do it mysel- no

but actually, before he warmed up to you he was pretty cold, 

he felt himself growing feelings for you

and he didn’t want to because he was afraid he would lose you and he would have to go through the heartbreak of losing someone all over again

he would leave the room to go hang out somewhere else

he would keep his distance and not talk with you much

but there was this one time where you woke up with him around you, you just pretended you didn’t wake up and relished in the feeling

it took some time, but eventually he warmed up to you

though he still constantly worries about you, he doesn’t want you to get hurt

during matches he would always take hits for you, and just stay closer to you in general

he wanted to make sure you got back to the manor safely, it didn’t matter if he was sent back via rocket chair

he always put you as his #1 priority

he also gets jealous super easily, he’s scared someone will swoop you away from him

so to make sure everyone knows that you belong to him, he’d give you his clothes to wear

not only do his clothes look adorable on you, everyone will know that you’re his

probably pester you a lot if you tripped or got a paper cut

“yoU COULD HAVE DIED” “IT WAS A PAPER CUT”

Once, Norton got stuck to the fridge like a magnet for 5 hours

He’s been using that as an excuse to force you to bring him his snacks every since.

pick up lines are a definite yes

sometimes you’d be shitting and you’d hear outside the bathroom door a faint,

“My love for you is like Diarrhea.” “norton what the fuck im shitting-” “i just can’t hold it in” cue camera zooming in on his face and him smirking into the camera “OH MY GOD WHY”

like Luca, his bed is useless. he always needs you in his arms when sleeping, he wants to protect you and just feel you closer to him

puts him at ease

kisses? hell yes.

if you had to go to a match without him he would send you off with a ton of gross wet kisses on your face ew

He might even try to seduce you into staying

“norton I’m gonna lose morality points!” “fuck your morality points, i wanna smash”

Fiona Gilman

I feel like fiona would probably super psyched when she heard about sharing rooms with you

I headcanon her to be super bubbly and social but when she is alone with her thoughts she’d probably regret everything 

“why did i say that why did i say that why did i say that-”

probably prays to god, “please kill me”

she tries her best to make sure you’re comfortable

she doesnt make a big mess and she makes sure she cleans up after herself, overall a pretty cool roommate

except for those times for when she tries to babtize you while you’re showering-

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING” “THE LORD SHALL CLEANSE YOUR SOUL WITH HOLY WATER-” “what the f- iS THIS ALCOHOL???”

this has happened too many times^^^

one time she accidentally created an ultra portal in the toilet. 

Y’all still have no idea where it leads, and no intent of finding out. 

Although, Kreacher has been complaining of some nasty stuff appearing in his room

i feel like during matches she would always call you with her portals to say hi or just give you a small kiss

it stopped being cute when she went through the portal and ended up seeing the hunter instead of you

mentally scarred from that

sometimes things would disappear in your shared room too, not only the toilet

you’re convinced she has a bunch of hidden portals in the room

like, one time you dropped a pencil and it went through the ground.

you never saw it again

Or you know that missing sock?

Portaled.

i dont know what this turned into

[musingmycelium]

sweet song

satinalia exchange gift for a good friend ;) im so glad i got to write this for you!! ❤❤❤

Krem's lucky he has good balance. With the way the chair wobbles under him as he tries, mostly unsuccessfully, to peer around the stairs to watch Maryden sing he needs to have it. And he can’t help but look. The firelight almost causes her skin to glow rosy gold, catches in her dark hair and the way her eyes shine as she sings, it's enough to-

Wood creaks under him as Krem all but topples backward off the top of the chair. Catching himself with a hand in the last moment, wrist aching as his hand connects with the wall at an awkward angle, and he can hear Bull’s laugh across the room. Bastard.

It isn’t like Bull hasn’t made a fool of himself in front of people before. Although Krem guesses those are more on purpose than not. He sighs, rights the chair and sits back down in it, properly this time. He can’t see her anymore, but if he’s telling the truth he doesn’t really need to. The sight of her before the fire is, distracting and definitely something he thinks about often. Not that Krem has done anything about the way her voice filling the tavern makes his chest feel too tight and too light, or said anything about how her smiles can cause a blush to cover his whole body.

Not yet, anyway. Krem has a plan, and he means to follow through with it. He just… Has to figure out how. Time’s running quite short, tonight there’s going to be a small Satinalia party at the Herald’s Rest and Krem still doesn’t know what he should get Maryden, or even if she’d accept anything from him.

At first, he thought it would be easy. She’s a minstrel, get her a journal or a new set of strings for her lute. But those sounded empty and Krem wants to be thoughtful damn it. He wants to see Maryden blush, he wants to make her smile, he wants to see the softness in her eyes generally reserved for those times she’s singing to be directed just at him.

So he sighs. And he walks over to where Bull is sitting at a table with what has to be the Rest’s largest tankard sitting in front of him. And as Krem rounds the corner he finds Dorian is sitting there as well, great. “Krem-puff! Finally decided to find a decent chair did you?”

“My chair is already decent, I’ve got a question.” There’s a nervousness gnawing in the pit of his stomach and Krem doesn’t care for it one bit. But he takes Bull’s raised eyebrow for a go ahead and strangles the butterflies in his gut. “Uh, so. The Satinalia party, tonight.” His tongue is twisting around itself and Krem thinks maybe he should just go outside and pretend he never heard of this party instead of asking Bull for romance advice. “I, uh, wanted to -you know- get a present, a thoughtful present but... I, uh, don’t actually know what to get… Her…”

Raising his own, much smaller glass Dorian gives Krem a verifiable look. One elegant eyebrow raised ever so slightly, glass tipped in Krem's direction, red wine nearly spilling but not quite. “Thoughtful presents generally require more than an afternoon’s work.”

“I didn’t ask you Altus.” Krem gives him a look back.

Bull just nods, as if he was almost expecting this of them and Krem narrows his eyes at him too. “Listen Chief I didn’t come over here for bullshit I w-”

He’s cut off with a laugh, Bull shaking his head slightly. “Nah no bullshit, this is important.” At least he looks like he’s going to be serious, with the way his face scrunches up. “Well, Krem-sickle, the first thing about getting someone a gift is you gotta know what they want. Don’t look at me like that- so you know she likes writing and singing since you watch her do that every day. Do you know, anything else about her?”

Krem opens his mouth to say ‘of course he does’ and then shuts it after he can’t think of a single other thing he knows she enjoys. His brows bunch together and he crinkles his nose. Bull watches him think in silence, a smirk forming on his face. “I know she likes writing and singing, it’s not like there’s much else to do here is there. I thought, maybe she’d like a new journal?” Saying it out loud makes him cringe. It’s so insincere, careless almost. “That sounds stupid, doesn’t it. But I don’t know what else to do.”

Bull keeps nodding and Krem’s stomach is in knots. “She’d appreciate it, new journal new quill, something to use.”

Before he can keep going Dorian interrupts with a snort. “Get her something no one else can.” A delicate sip of his wine, eyes looking over the rim at Krem. “Woo her, you’re a sharp young man surely you can think of something. Read her poetry, pick her flowers, write her something. Creative types drink it up.”

If his knee-jerk reaction is anything to go by this is a horrible idea. Everything from his hair to his toes is going numb at the thought of it. Him? Writing poetry? Picking flowers? Krem almost tells Dorian he’d rather run himself through with a rusty training sword but then he stops to think about it. It was what he wanted to do, wasn’t it? Put thought into a gift Maryden would remember and hopefully enjoy.

And if he makes a fool of himself maybe he could recover from that.

Or maybe he could also fake his death and make a new start in Antiva.

“That’s. Not bad Altus, not bad.” Never let it be said Krem was too proud to give credit where it’s due. Even if it does curdle the words in his mouth. He has a couple of hours, it wouldn’t take him too long to do something like that, would it? Better get started now just in case, Krem leaves the table with a nod in the direction of the other two still sitting there.

The party starts at sundown, Krem heads to his room and hunts down some paper and a quill. If he’s quick he might even be able to get there before the others and give it to her without anyone else seeing. And he’ll be quick, even with his stomach trying to turn itself inside out, Krem can do this!

He absolutely could not do this. Crumpled paper is scattered about his room, in various states of tatter, and a near-empty bottle of ink rests near his elbow. This is hopeless, Maryden does this for a living she wouldn’t want whatever half-assed shitty poem he could cobble together like a child. What an idiot he is, sitting here with ink stains on his hands, he’s a mercenary what in Andraste’s name is he doing trying to write poetry ?

Krem groans, wads up the paper he was currently using and throws it backward behind him, not wanting to look at the ugly chicken scratches and horribly clunky phrasing any longer. Drops his head onto the desk, hard wood against his skin. All he wanted was a simple present! How did he manage to muck it up so badly?

There’s a cool breeze coming from the direction of the door and Krem turns sharply towards it, not wanting anyone to see the mess he’s made. But there isn’t anyone there. Krem huffs, relieved and embarrassed and definitely probably almost late for the party. He stands, stretches, maybe he just shouldn’t get Maryden anything after all. She could do better than him anyway.

A ghost of a thought across his mind, ‘but she wants you’ . Krem rolls his eyes, he’s been daydreaming too much lately. Been thinking about the firelight in Maryden’s hair and on her skin too much. Thinking how the way her eyes sometimes catch his and a smile grows on her lips. He sighs again, he really is in too deep.

Distracted by her enough it takes Krem an embarrassingly long time to notice there is a freshly picked amaryllis, blood red and shining. Narrowing his eyes at the flower he gingerly walks over and picks it up by the stem. He definitely did not pick it, but he can’t think of who would, or why. But he thinks of Maryden in the tavern, of the way she would be readying her lute in front of the fire, and of the party about to start. And he thinks of the smile she would give, just for him, if he gave her a winter-blooming flower.

Leaves with it held in front of him, butterflies returning to his stomach in full force. Walks down to the Herald’s Rest anyways, enters to the sound of laughter and flutes. Not Maryden’s music, too fast and too untrained, Krem looks around to see if he can find her, amaryllis moving behind his back.

Finds her standing just off next to the fire, lute in hand, where she’s in just enough shadow to be overlooked for now. Perfect. Quietly, Krem makes his way across the tavern and with his chest about to burst he tries to clear his throat softly. “Maryden?”

She looks up, eyes wide and dark in the flickering firelight. “Krem? Are you here to make a request, I’m not playing ye-”

“Oh! No, I, um, I’m here to- I mean I came over-” Tripping over himself, making an absolute fool of himself. “I just, sorry let me start over.” Krem takes a deep breath, pulls the amaryllis out from behind him held delicately by ink-stained fingers. “I want to give you this, I had- Um, I tried to write you a poem but, turns out I’m not as good at it as you are.”

Maryden smiles and its better than anything Krem has ever been able to imagine. All at once each of the butterflies in his stomach take flight, leaving him breathless and light. Heart hammering in his chest, a slight blush rising in Maryden’s cheeks. “How sweet of you.”

Her fingers brush against his as she takes the flower from his slack grip. Holds it up to her nose and takes a deep breath, her eyes falling shut only to open a moment later and connect with Krem’s. The warmth in them, brown turned honey-gold by the fire, causes his heart to flip in his chest.

“You know, in Ferelden we have our own Satinalia flowers.” A smile with a hint of teeth, “And if you look up, we happen to be standing under one of my favorites.”

Of course Krem looks up. Spots the sprig of green leaves and white berries tied together with a red bow, one of many hanging from the rafters.

“Mistletoe.” Maryden’s soft fingers against his chest starling and new, Krem jerking his gaze back down to face her. “Do you know what happens when people stand under mistletoe Krem?”

Her fingers against his neck now, curling around the back to pull his head down. Krem gulps, hard. Heart trying to beat its way out of his chest, heat across his whole face. “They kiss.”

Maryden smiles and tilts her head so her lips are ghosting over Krem’s. “That’s right, they kiss.”

Soft lips tasting of cider, of warm firelight and music. Krem gasps, air leaving his lungs in a heady rush. Time freezing, halting around them as Maryden presses her lips against his under the mistletoe with a flower stained with ink held in her hands between them. Heart bursting in his chest, butterflies fleeing to his veins and the whole of him feels like he could fly.

Moments passing too quickly when Maryden pulls back slightly, “Happy Satinalia Krem,” Murmured against kissed lips, half-lidded eyes and a smile brighter than any hearth.

“Happy Satinalia Maryden.”

"When the party is over you absolutely have to read me your poems."

What fool Krem is indeed.

[fragmented-connections]

Day 3- Sunset-  @plancekalluraweek2018 - 

                                       Sunset Conversations 

The sounds of cheers in the streets filled the air, the warmth of the fireworks exploding above, flooded everyones senses; the war was finally over. 

Lance, Pidge and Hunk stood on the Garrisons rooftop taking it all in. 

“I can't believe its finally over,” said hunk “like finally, finally. We saved the universe from all evil, like at the source, we actually did it guys. ”

“you know, there still could be evil lurking out there.” Pidge said with a mivschevoisu grin “The universe is massive, I wouldn't be surprised if there was another evil galra-like race somewhere deep in the corners of the universe, waiting to conquer us all.” 

“Annnnd now I'm leaving” Hunk quickly replied, leaving the rooftop “lance you coming? or are you going to sit here and listen to more of Pidge’s psychopathic mind theories.” 

“Im good,” lance said looking over at Pidge “ besides, I'm used to her mind by now.”

“Bold of you to stay Mc Clain, you haven't even heard my worst theory yet.” Pidge eyeing Lance, still sporting her mischievous stare. 

“I think I can manage” Lance replying with one of his own. 

Hunk eyed the two. “Well, while you guys do that, I'm going to head down and check out the rest of the festivities; I hear theres a killer buffet.” 

“we’ll check in with you soon, were going to stay her for a bit” pidge replied nonchalantly. 

As soon as Hunk left the rooftop, Lance turned to pidge, “so why are staying up here again?” 

Her face instantly warmed at the realization that she had  spoken for the both of them. She quickly regained her composure. “I mean you could go if you want,  “pidge replied, eyes forward “I just thought, perhaps you would like to see the sunset from up here; you know don't you like that sort of thing?” 

Lance gave her a puzzled look “It is, Im just surprised that you actually remembered” lance sat down beside her. 

“Well I am the smartest one of the bunch,” Pidge looked at Lance replying coyly.  

“That you are.” Lance replied. They way he said it, without any hesitation, made the butterflies in her stomach swirl out of control. She quickly looked back at the horizon. 

 “I just thought I’d give it a chance, you know? Pidge looked at him with a soft glance. 

 It was lances turn to fidget. “uh, yeah.” he looked down at his watch. “we still have about an hour ‘till sunset though; any ideas on how to kill time?”

“lets just sit here.” pidge said, “and you know, talk?” 

And thats what they did. Pidge and Lance sat there on the garrison rooftop talking about all the adventures and trials they went through since encountering each other on this very same rooftop all those years ago. 

“hahaha!” Their laughters mingled as they recalled their last funny encounter as the garrison trio. Pidge wiped the tears from her eyes “Gosh I can't believe Hunk survived space!” 

“ I KNOW RIGHT!?” Lance tried to catch his breath, “We’ve all come a long way haven't we? Hunk conquered his fears, you’re not a secretive introvert anymore -pidge gave him a look at that- “ and I’m not an egoistical player” 

“well I'm not so sure about the last one” 

“Hey” Lance jabbed her playfully. “But Hunks right” Pidge said, her voice taking a serious tone. “it’s really over now isn't it? no more wars, no more struggles.. we really did it lance.”  Lance looked at her “We did.”  After that, both of them just sat quietly, enjoying the silence, and each others company.  

Suddenly Pidge pointed toward the skyline. “Look! the suns about to set” The two of them sat there watching the sun set. However, Lance wasn't paying any mind to the sun; he realized he was more focused on Pidge. 

The glow of the sun showered her in this ethereal light and Lance realized then and there, that he’s never really looked at Pidge, at least never like this. He never realized how rosy her cheeks were, or how she has a set of freckles dusted along the bridge of her nose connecting like stars. Or how her eyes shined in the light like melted honey. Her rose bud lips began to form into a smile and it makes lance catch his breath. 

He continues to stare at her mystified, until Pidge jolted him from his thoughts.

“you know?..you’re right Lance.”

 It takes him a minute to come to his senses. “..about what?” 

“about sunsets..” she sighs and places her hand on her cheek “…I guess I just really never noticed it before.” She gave Lance a soft smile “I’m glad I gave her a chance” Pidge looked back at the horizon “The sun really outdid her self..she really is beautiful.”  

“Yeah..” lance stated, eyes never leaving her- “ ..She really is..”

Lance decide that he never wanted the sun to set. He wanted to stay in this moment with her for as long as possible. He wanted to spend the rest of his sunsets with Katie holt. And lance decided he wasn't going to hesitate anymore. 

“Pidge, theres something I need to tell you...” 

Allura looked over the balcony- onto the masses of people all staring at her; waiting for her to finish her speech. 

“I would like to reiterate my gratitude to the Aursin people; not only did they honor the Alteans by bestowing us a new home, they also offered a safe haven to all of the universe by allowing us to make this the base of the coalition!” the crowd continued to cheer. “With planet Aurus as our stronghold, the coalition will continue to become the sovereign protectors of the universe and all of its  peoples!”

The cheers flooded Alluras senses. She looked up at the sky. “Father,” she placed her hand on her heart. “We finally did it.” 

Deep within the crowd, a figure looked up at her with utmost awe. He started at his princess, a smile on his face. “she finally did it.”

“Coran” Allura looked around at the sea of people in new castle of lions. “I thought you said it was going to be a small gathering of people. not the whole universe.” 

“This is not only a celebration of your coronation princess, but also a celebration for the aursians, as well as the universe! so it makes sense for everyone to be invited!” Coran replied ecstatically. He did have a point Allura thought. After months and months of searching they finally found a home for the Alteans, as well as a base for the coalition. It was joyous occasion.

“I do understand that reason Coran, but I don't understand is why you invited them.” Allura whispered while pointing to the heard of “eligible” princes and leaders of different planets. 

“Well you see princess your now a queen, and as a queen you can venture out and make alliances with different planets.” Coran chimed “and in doing so this would help maintain the peace!” I might not be your royal advisor anymore, but I can still be your royal matchmaker!” 

Allura gave him a look “We already have the cloatiion for that Coran, I don't need to get married to maintain the peace of the universe.” If she knew this what would become of him, she would make Romelle give him back his old job. 

After Coran’s heavy pestering, Allura decided to give a chance. At first, she went around talking to everyone. A genuine smile on her face. However as the evening progressed, the genuine smile began to turn into her more diplomatic one. Her feet began to ache, and the head piece she was wearing was so heavy it made her head pound. Allura was pretty sure couldn't feel her neck anymore. 

Allura tuned back to what Prince Astrolobor was saying. “..that is why your highness, I believe that an alliance between planet Globlor and planet Aurus would be the most fitting” 

“yes you are right prince Astrolobor, that is why we are glad that your planet has joined the universal coalition” Allura replied cooly, taking a sip of her drink. 

“Yes..but I had a more personal alliance in mind.”The prince gave a Allura what she supposed was to be a smoldering look. She almost gagged out loud. 

“If you could excuse me kind sir, I need to refill my drink.”  Allura didn't wait for him to reply and pushed passed him, but not much to her luck, another swarm of people quickly surrounded her again. 

Suddenly Romelle pushed through the crowd, grabbing Allura. “I am terribly sorry your excellencies, but Queen Allura is needed for a very important call in the next room. So if you could excuse us.” 

Romelle quickly dragged Allura all the way towards the end of ballroom, until they were out of sight. 

“Who’s the important call form Romelle?” Allura asked her. 

 “Oh, theres no call, I just saw your face in there and knew I had to get you out.” Romelle responded. 

Allura signed in relief. “This is why you are my right hand.” 

Romellle beamed “you know I'm always here for you- also your highness! You should go take a rest in your quarters!” Romelle began to push her towards the stairs. “Don't worry, I will try to keep them away.” 

With words of gratitude, Allura rushed towards her room, she entered so quickly she didn't realize that she didn't close the door all the way. 

“Peace at last” she sighed as she began to remove her headpiece. Allura then opened her large window, sitting on the edge to it. The Aursian evening air rushed through her, filling her with a sense of bliss. She ran her fingers through her hair, letting the last few strands from her up do lose. She breathed in the warm summer air. 

It was moments like these where Allura thought of him. She wondered what he was doing, and where he was in the universe, as if it were small intimate secret that she kept to herself. It has been almost two years since she last saw Keith. 

Alllura looked back at her shelf. On it, was a beautifully decorated card, that held two of her dearest friend’s names. It was Pidge and Lance’s wedding invitation. 

Allura wondered if she would see Keith there. She knew he wasn't on earth. Ever since the war finished, Allura, Romelle and Coran stayed with the rest of the Alteans searching for a new home. And while the rest of the team went back to earth, Keith stayed in space- but not with her. He said he wanted to explore as much as he could; to see everything out there. But he must have heard about the wedding, he will likely turn up, wouldn't he? 

Allura turned back to the window view and beautiful breeze. She didn't want to dwell on it. Wherever Keith was, she hoped him happiness. She only wished he could be a part of hers. 

Keith never really liked parties; especially very crowded ones like the one he found himself in right now. He couldn't believe that he was still here in this first place. His plan was to just pop in really quickly and silently to witness Allura’s coronation and leave right after the ceremony. But as soon they were going to leave, Kosom found the space mice which in turn lead them to Romelle. And she manhandled him into to coming to the party. She said Allura would be so glad to see him. He doubted that though. It been years since he last saw her, she probably didn't even think about him. When Keith saw her speaking from the crowd, a warm feeling erupted from inside of him, he was content just by watching her from the crowds. Although apart of him wanted to be up there-with her. 

“ugh” Kieth sighed deeply as he downed the drink in his hand. He scanned the room for a glittery headpiece but couldn't spot her. She was probably talking to another space prince. Not that he cared, Keith told himself. She was a queen now, so of course he league just got even higher. But when Keith caught a glimpse of her earlier from afar, he could tell that her smile was meek. It looked like they were all boring her to death. Keith couldn't help but feel smug. 

But now, she was no where in sight, so he might as well go. Keith was about to whistle for Kosomo when a hand grabbed him from behind. 

“Keith! come with me.” Romelle dragged him out of the ballroom. 

“Hey were are you-”  “Listen” Romelle interrupted him. “Go up the stairs and down the hall, the room on the right is Allura’s room.”  

Keith looked at her mortified, “Why would I go into her room?!” 

“You came here to see her didn't you?” Romelle’s question, stopped him. 

“I did yeah but going to her room is different, I don't want to impose on her..does she even know I'm here?”

“Oh stop it!” Romelle thew him up until he was almost on top of the stairs. Curse these Altean girls and their super strength. “thats why it will be a surprise silly!” 

Keith looked behind him- hesitating. 

“Go on! she’s waiting for you!” Romelle sang as she went back into the party. 

Keith began to walk down the hallway. He just hoped that Allura would be happy to see him. The door that Romelle described as Allura’s was open. Did she know he was coming? Keith edged closer, wanting to knock, but the sight that he saw almost made his knees give out. 

Sitting on the edge of a grand window sat Allura. The breeze gently ruffling her long hair; eyes closed, a soft smile on her face. 

Keith stared at her. Skies, she was breathtaking. he thought. 

Keith remembered where he was and gave the door a soft knock.

“Coran before you begin lecturing me about my duties as a leader and diplomat, I can assure you I understand” Still not realizing it was Keith, Allura began to collect the lose strands of her hair, turning away from the window. “I just wanted a moment of peace thats al-” Allura froze as she made eye contact with Him.

 “...keith?” she breathed. 

Allura thought she was dreaming, or hallucinating. But surely she wasn't because the hallucination just said “Hi, Allura.” 

Standing right there in her room, was Keith. And my was he handsome. A blush erupted all over her face as she looked over at him. He looked much older, more rugged. Allura hated that word but looking over his physique- especially his broader shoulders and arms, she couldn't find a better word to describe him, and plus the look he was giving her, Allura felt her knees would give out any second.

“How are you here? a-and how are you?” she stammered, grabbing the wall.  

“I stopped by for the ceremony,” Keith began to explain “ and Romelle spotted me, and one thing led to another and she basically threw me up here to see you.”  Keith gulped “I hope its alright that I'm here-in your room I mean.”  

“oh of course!” Allura realized how loud she answered and remembered to control herself. “Of course- its not problem at all.”  She made a mental note to thank Romelle later. 

“I was just taking a moment for myself, to watch the sunset,” Allura pointed to the window. “Besides Coran will probably realize I'm missing-” a loud voice came from the hallway. “-any minute now.” Allura said with a defeated look. “So you see I must get back.”  

The voices were getting louder. Keith looked at the tired look on her face, then out the window, at the setting sun. “Do you want to get out of here?” 

Allura looked at him wide eyed. “I-”

Coran’s voice, which was getting closer and closer to the room, erupted “ALLURA I FOUND A SUTOIR FOR YOU! AND THIS TIME HE HAS TEETH!” 

Allura looked at Keith “Yes please.” 

All too quickly, Keith shortened the distance between them, grabbing Allura by the waist. Her breath hitched. Allura looked up at him, a smirk forming on his lips. “You might wanna hold on.” Keith let out a sharp whistle. Out of nowhere Kosmo appeared in front of them, then the three disappeared. 

When Allura opened her eyes, she found herself on one of the hills of planet Aurus. The view in front of her was breathtaking; the beautiful arusian sun was about to embrace the horizon. “Its wonderful.” Allura breathed. 

“It is” Keith replied. Allura looked up to find her arms were still around his neck and his arms were still holding her waist. Allura quickly detangled herself from the embrace. “Thank you for this Keith.” She said, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear.

“Anytime.” his gaze still soft. “Do you think you'll get in trouble though?” 

Allura sat down on the grass. “oh no, they can mange without me for a little while. And besides,” grinning she looked at him over her shoulder “ I am the queen; how much trouble can I be in?”  Keith smiled and sat down next to her. “I guess your right.” 

For a while, the two just sat there enjoying the beautiful sunset. Every once an a while, Kosomo would come over and set some flowers on Alluras lap. “Such a handsome fellow, you are Kosom. and so big!” She looked at Keith.  “what have  you two been up to these past years?”

 Keith told Allura about his travels. About all the different planets and galaxies he visited. “I tired to keep a low profile, but people seem to recognize me almost everywhere.”

“Well you are one of the universe’s heroes.” Allura chimed. 

“I guess,” Keith looked out onto the horizon. “I honestly never expected it to turn out that way.” 

“I as well.” Allura looked out with him. “Team Voltron’s come a long way, haven't we?” Allura said softly. She then quickly raised her voice, turning to Keith “Did you hear the news about Pidge and Lance?!”

 Keith smiled at her excitement “Yes, it didn't take Pidge too long to track me down, plus I ran into Matt a couple of months ago and he told me he was going back for the wedding.” 

“Will you be attending?” Allura asked. “Yeah,” He responded to her relief. “Plus, I probably don't have a choice. Pidge said that I'm banned from earth if I don't show up.”  

The sound of Alluras laughter was so healing. Keith wanted to always hear it. 

“Will you be attending?” He asked her.

 “Yes of course! I wouldn't miss it for anything..I'm so happy for them.” 

“Its about time too” Keith suddenly said “I thought lance was going to be dense about his feelings forever.”

“Oh, so your saying that you knew?”

“Yeah I knew they would get together, probably before they even did” Keith said proudly. 

Allura smiled. Playfully she said “Then I guess you have a gift.”  

“I guess I do.” he answered, matching her tone.  

Their peaceful evening continued. Kosom came to rest, placing his head on Alluras lap. She began to place the flowers on his fur. “So Keith, what are your plans after this? Will you continue to travel?” 

Keith dared himself and went for it. “That depends…” He began “...I need something to convince me to stay put.”

Peeking behind her lashes, Allura asked “Any ideas to what that might be?”

Keith watched Allura play with Ksomo; the last light from the setting sun washed over her, making her glow. The longing that he felt in his chest for the past year began to rapidly close.

Allura looked up to see a smile begin to form on his lips. She warmed at the sight.

 Keith looked at her with same warmth his eyes.

 “I think I might of just found it.”

Katie Holt looked into the mirror. This was it. Her wedding day. She looked out the window and noticed the sun beginning to set. She let out a soft chuckle at her husband-to be’s antics. He’s such a dork, she thought.  Lance swore that they will get married right at sunset. 

“Its almost time” Pidge said to herself. 

Suddenly a small knock came from the door. “Its us!” Romelle and Allura came into the room both dressed in their brides-maids gowns; the perfect shade of light blue. 

“Oh Pidge, you look absolutely lovely!” Allura gushed. “Thank you! But I’m so nervous I think I’m going to puke. I can’t believe I’m nervous to see Lance!” Pidge exclaimed “Also, I just can’t get this thing to stay on my head.” Pidge touched the white flowers that connected to her veil.

“I can help with that.” Romelle went to adjust the position of her veil. “ Thank you Romelle. Actually, I’ve been meaning to ask you, how are things with hunk?” 

Romelle blushed thinking about her beau. “Well, it hasn’t been the easiest time with me in Aurus and Hunk on earth, but we make it work. I think he might propose soon!” But enough about me, Pidge you should ask Allura who has been coming to visit her regularly on Aurs.”  Romelle said with a playful tone. 

“What!?” Pidged gasped looking at Allura “No way! Is it Keith?!” “Yes!” Romelle continued to gush to Pidge, both girls ignoring Allura’s serious blushing. “Every once or twice a month he drops by and the two of them head out on escapades and no one knows where!” The girls continued to squeal, ignoring Allura protests for them to hush.  

“no offense Allura,” Pidge began, “but Keith needs to get off his ass and ask you already.” 

“Agreed” Romelle nodded “Isn't he aware that it is a capital offense to let a queen wait.”

“Oh girls, I’m not going to rush Keith, he will ask me when its time; when fate has written it.” Allura said. 

“I don’t care,” Pidge still adamant. “one of you girls need to catch my bouquet.” 

“Why would we need to catch your bouquet of flowers?” Allura asked puzzled. 

Romelle quickly explained “On earth weddings, the bride throws her bouquet, and whichever maiden catches it, becomes the next bride!” The girls gave her a stunned look. “What? I did my research.” Romelle replied triumphantly. 

“Ok so that settles it!” Pidge exclaimed, standing up from her chair “I’m going to be aiming this bad boy at one of you, and whoever catches it, needs to go straight to her man and propose to Him!” Pointing at them with her bouquet of lilies. Romelle was ecstatic and Allura was slightly horrified. 

The girls finished helping Pidge get ready. Allura brought down Pidges veil. She took a hold of her hands, squeezing them in hers. “Im so happy and proud of you Pidge; you’ve blossomed into a beautiful women and I am immensely grateful to share this moment with you.” 

Tears began to form in Pidge’s eyes, Romelle’s  “oh no don’t cry you will ruin your make up!”- made her laugh. 

“Thank you so much Allura.” She squeezed her hands back “I have you to thank, for bringing He and I together.”  Pidge inched closer to Allura “And I can’t wait to share your special day- with Keith.” Allura blushed softly. 

Suddenly, Pidges mom peeked into the room, “Honey we’re ready for you.” Pidge took a deep breath; It’s time. 

Lance stared out onto the horizon. He couldn’t believe that the big day was finally here; his wedding day. The suns position was just right. His beautiful Pidge would walk down the aisle soon. 

All of a sudden, two figures stood by him; His best men. Keith and Hunk. 

“Can you actually believe that Lance is the first of us to settle down!?” Hunk exclaimed. “If you told me that a couple of years ago I would have died laughing” Hunk smacked Lance across the back.

“Hey- give some time, when you find your soulmate nothing will stop you.” Lance said.

Keith looked at the horizon longingly. “Yeah, that true.” He whispered under his breath. 

“And besides aren’t you and Romelle getting serious?” Lance teased “when are you going to ask her?” 

Hunk blushed thinking about her “I’m planning to soon.” But the one you really should be asking is our boy Keith here.”  

The two boys eyed their dark haired friend. 

“Your absolutely right hunk” chirped Lance “Keith When are you finally gonna get off your ass and confess to Allura?” 

Keith’s face warmed at Allura’s mention. “I need you guys to leave me alone.” 

“Oh no we won't.” Hunk said “you cant keep her waiting; she’s a queen you know, I’m pretty sure thats illegal.” 

“You know what? I have a wager.” Lance said suddenly “Which ever girl catches Pidge’s bouquet, the guy needs to propose!” 

Keith’s- “what!?” And Hunks “oh yeah!” made Lance laugh. Before Keith could object any further, the music started to play. 

The nerves Lance was feeling earlier, came back full force. He took his place at the front of the aisle. Lance caught the first glimpse of his bride. 

Pidge seemed to float down the aisle. Through her veil, Lance could see the beaming expression on her face. This was it, Lance thought. The beginning of forever with her; the beginning of a thousand more Sunsets. 

The ceremony was perfect, they exchanged vows, making everyone cry. Lance didnt even wait for the cue as he carried his bride and embraced her in front of everyone. In the heat of the moment Pidge threw her bouquet into the crowd. 

Allura saw the bouquet of lilies flying towards her, she extend her hands ever so slightly; and there it flew, right into them.  

Out of instinct, Allluras eyes found his. She looked upon Keith’s bewildered expression, sporting one of her own. The cheers erupted around her. 

Lance and Pidge were ecstatic. “HAHA ITS YOUR TURN NOW MULLET!” 

The duo blushed ferociously as they stole shy glances at each other. 

Keith stared to walk towards Allura. Her radiance outshining the golden sunset. Lance was right; It was time. 

He made his soulmate wait long enough. 

[typicalmidnight]

iron man 2 running commentary

okay so watching iron man 2 for the first time and i have a feeling im gonna have lots of commentary to share so it will all be under the cut! i’m gonna keep updating it as i watch!

*starts watching iron man 2 without watching iron man first cause it’s not on netflix and is only 2 minutes in but completely confused*

*questions my intelligence because i was able to understand the other marvel movies without watching other ones first*

*wonders if somehow i haven’t seen enough tony stark on tumblr to understand but i’ve somehow seen enough of other things to understand other movies*

*cue suprised and upset anon* sorry anon!!

okay anon!! help me pls! is the guy in the very beginning of iron man 2 someone from the first movie, and if he is who is he?? or is he new in this movie? edit: nevermind i looked it up

omg the first scene we see iron man is so cooool i love it!

holy sh*t he just landed on a stage omggg *freaks out so much because WOW*

im not even 7 minutes in yet but WOW IM SHOOK

i litterally just watched that first scene of tony/iron man in awe the whole time

“the possibility of world peace” BAAAAAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAAAAAA there’s a whole lot in store for the world, and i can guarantee it wont be peaceful lol

the stark expo is year long?!?!!?!!??? wow....

oooh oooh oooh that’s happy!

tony with kids awww

OMG THATS PETER PARKER RIGHT

STAN LEEEE OMG AWWWW

wait what did tony do??

AHHHHH pepper!!

does tony like pepper yet?? are they dating??

god tony. his sense of humor omg.

pepper isnt impressed lol

tony is so savage we stan a queen lol

you’re right, it isn’t canada cause we’re AWESOME and dont have ppl trying to get rid of iron man

rhodey!! i know who that is!

litterally everything tony says is amazing

oooooh whats tony up to?...

world peace? dream on tony

did he just say f**k you to tony stark? UM NO YOU DID NOT

oof the scenes with this bad dude are boring

wait i take that back HE JUST CUT A TV IN HALF!!

“wake up, daddy’s home” god i love tony

i think im getting too excited about everything lolll

tony insulting that robot arm thing gives me life

whats that thing in tony’s chest?? im guessing it has something to do with him being iron man and was part of the first movie

im confused about the relationship between pepper and tony

oooh shes ceo congrats to her!!

is this actually good tho?? the look on her face isnt great

oh okay its good she was just suprised

are those like fake documents or something?

OMG ITS NATASHA!!! AHHHHHHHH I LOVE HER SO MUCH SHE’S LIKE MY FAVE MCU WOMAN OTHER THAN MJ

i got way too excited there and hit my wrist on my wall and now it hurts

wait he doesn’t know nat yet??? HOW?!

also ummm natalie rushman?? that name kinda suits her?? ish idk

NATASHA IS A QUEEEEEEN!!!! I STANNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i also got so excited about nat that my eyes started to water

“i want one” okay tony nat could knock you out in a second and she for sure doesn’t need a man! also PEPPER!!!!!! LIKE WHAT ABOUT HER!

its the grand prix! it looks just like it does in cars 2!! lollll i was super shooketh about that when i made the connection

OMG ITS NAT AGAIN YAY!

WAIT is tony gonna drive that race car??? is he gonna race??? OMG i hope he does

also my wrist still hurts

wait pepper is suprised?? tony you didnt tell pepper? TONY YOU DIDNT TELL PEPPER??? TONY COME ONNNNNN

OMG TONY WHY PEPPER IS CONCERNED NOW

also is nat working for tony or something

oof its 12 am i should sleep i have school tmrw

haha bish that reporter lady left cause ur boring and nobody cares about you

AHHHH TONY’S GONNA RACEEEE

omg tony is racing tony is racing TONY IS RACING TONY IS RACING!!!! TONY PLS DONT DIE OR SOMETHING

hello my name is leea and i’m a huge drama queen that loves and cares so much about tony stark

OMG ITS THE VILLAIN GUY ACKKK TONY IS GONNA DIE

im still super dramatic lol

and also 100% convinced tony is gonna die even tho i know that wont happen

IM GETTING SO MUCH ANXIETY FROM JUST WATCHING THIS AHHHH

THE VILLAN GUY IS GOING SOMEWHERE ONTO THE TRACK OR SOMETHING ACKKKK

i hit my elbow and my head (not too hard dont worry) and the elbow is the same arm that i hurt my wrist so now my arm hurts from my elbow to my hand

WHAT IS THAT GUY DOING HE JUST WALKED ONTO THE RACE CAR TRACK

i litterally pressed play and then pressed pause two seconds later ooooof

peppers face omg she is shooketh lol

WTF IS HE DOING??!!!!!! also wth is he wearing on his chest?

OOOOOOOOOMG he has his slicy electricity weapon thingies TONY IS GONNA DIE AHHHH

HE JUST HIT A CAR OMG I HOPE THE PERSON IS OKAY

^big example of me being a drama queen and innocent and sweet at the same time

HAPPY HAS WHAT IM ASSUMING TO BE IRON MAN SOMETHING

TONY IS ABOUT TO DIE!!!

i paused it right before he hits the car omg the suspense!!!!!

ANXIETY LEVELS RIGHT NOW

OMG TONY NOOOOOOOO

IM BREATHING SO DEEP AND FAST RIGHT NOW IM PANICKING FOR TONY (it’s called hyperventalating. future me remembered the word lol)

dude WHYYY would you take off your helmet??!!!!

there is a dude coming to kill you and i think a helmet would help protect you idiot!!

OMG THERES A CAR COMING AT THE VILLAIN GUY

WHAT IF IT HITS HIM AND THEN HITS TONY

THEY JUST EXPLODED OMG

i just choked because i was like WHAT JUST HAPPENED

there are cars exploding behind him and this dude just doesnt care!!

why have i started saying dude?

owww my wrist hurts

typing hurts

owwww

its actually really not that bad im dramatic

is pepper gonna save tony????

does the case have the rescue armor ive read about?????

HE JUST TRIED TO KILL TONY

*facepalms* tony WHY did you just hit him on the head with whatever that was??? what did you think it would accomplish??????? this dude just sliced your car in half and tried to kill you, do you think you can take him out by hitting him on the head??? just get tf out of there!!!

OMG HES GONNA KILL TONY

i just hit my head again (not hard it fine)

OMG DID HE JUST HIT TONY

I THINK HE JUST HIT TONY

IM NOT OKAY

AND I DONT THINK HE IS EITHER

AHHHHHHHHHHH

okay i’m going to bed cause its almost 1 am and i have school. anyway, this is the 100th comment which is kinda good to leave off at! i’ll finish watching tmrw and keep posting!

okay i’m back! about to start watching the movie!

ahhhhhh poor tony!!! i’m only a few seconds in but already panicking for him!!

omg hes getting ready to kill tony!! and tony is just lying on the ground!!!

pepper and happy come save him! ! ! ! ! !!!!!!!

or nat!!!!

ahhhhhhhhh tonys gonna die!!!!!!!!!!!!!

with every second i freak out moreeeee

oh thank GOD tony moved!!!

that car just exploded omg tony almost diedddd!!!

AHHHHH TONY IS ON FIRE

how tf is he so calm!!!!????!?!?!?!?!?

i mean hes not that calm but way calmer than any normal human should be in this situation

is he just like used to people trying to kill him??

OMG thats soo saaaaaaaddddd

OKAY HERE COMES PEPPER AND HAPPY

please run over him!!!

OMG THEY ALMOST HIT TONY

but they hit the bad guy yay!!!

awww tony is bleeding!

well i mean thats kinda expected lol

oof tony is mad

OMG PEPPER IS SO PISSED

shes acting like a mom lol

OMG THE GUYS WEAPONS ARE POWERING ON

THEY’RE ALL GONNA DIE

TONY JUST GET IN THE CAR

OMG THE DOOR

TONY GET IN THE CAR AND HAPPY GET TF OUT OF THERE!!!!

tony just GET IN THE CAR

OMG THE AIR BAG

HE JUST CUT THE WINDOW

THIS SCENE IS SO INTENSE OMG

okay pepper i love you but JUST GIVE TONY THE CASE

tony your armor is taking WAY TOO LONG to get on!!!

AHHHHH LOOK AT THE ARMOR!!!!!

ITS SO OLD

like not old

but compared to his current suit

the “it’s nanotech. you like it?” one

its nothing

AHHH HE HIT TONYS ARM

AHHHH TONYS GONNA DIE

AHHHH PEPPER IS SCREAMING

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

#drama queen much? #yes thats me

AHHH COME ON TONY

love how i’ve only gotten 3 more minutes into the movie and i’m already at 47 comments

OMG HE JUST WHIPPED TONY TO THE GROUND

omg poor tony!!!!

can everyone just leave my dad alone PLEASE

YAY TONY!! NOW THE BAD GUY IS ON THE GROUND!!!

oh thank god tony is okay hes not dead he won for now

eww he just spat out a bunch of blood

“you loose” how??? like what???

ooooooooooh wait no is tony gonna get in trouble.......

i forgot to say this yesterday but this whole scene with the guy on the track and stuff and the exploding cars in kinda similar to cars 2

i guess you cant have a racing scene in a movie without a car exploding tho

what is up with that guy with glasses?? like hes weird i dont trust him

why arent there subtitles translating whatever language they are speaking in (french? idk)

ya its french

ofc tony talks about the technology lol

and critcizes the bad guy’s

tony this guy tried to kill you WHY are you sitting down next to him??!!?

that guy is weird and kinda creepy

okay just f off senator dude nobody likes you, your opinion isnt valid, and i wanna punch you

“these suits exist now”????? wtf b*tch no they dont!

wait what ever happened to nat??

pepper is really responsible shes great i love her

what does that note say???

omg is that a bomb or something??!

why do guards always help prisoners escape like seriously

is that guy gonna take his place or something??

also he kinda looks like haymitch from hunger games

omg wait WTF WAS THAT

ALSO GUARD WHAT THE HELL

i was right! it was a bomb!

why did they throw him in a truck??

omg why are they in an airport?!

are they gonna help him escape??!!

why is there a table and people....

is that glasses guy sitting at the table?

i was right it is glasses guy!

i didn’t trust him from the start

why is he helping him tho...

friend? fan? what is going on?!!!???

YAYYYYY theres nat!!!

“erratic behaviour”??? what are you talking about???? he just saved himself from being killed how is that erratic?????!!

awwww poor tony

i beleive in you tony, and i love you, but no honey, you don’t know exactly what you’re doing you need help!

“software sh*t” aaaaaaaaaaahahahahhaahhaaaaa

make iron man look like an antique? ya no way is that gonna happen

is nat his assistant or something im a bit confused

aww tony is like so depressed i feel so bad for him!!

stannnnn nat

back on watch? what does that mean...

omg tony is so drunkkkkkk nooooo

ohhhhh tonyyyyy noooo come onnnn

you’re so drunk dude stopppp

god tony you’re so drunk pleaseee

wait why is rhodey fighting him anyway?

wow this is my 101 comment today and i’ve only watched 20 mins today

omggggg people are recordingggg this isn’t gonna end well

*sighs* oh god tony dont yell at them whyyyyy

omg tonys in the fire place!!!

omg that just happened. they just fired at each other.

also just saying tony, he does have what it takes to be war machine cause he continues to be...

ohhhh is tony okay??

im confused tho why did they start fighting in the first place?

okay i just looked it up, it was because he was being irresponsible and drunk, and putting people at the party in danger, and he wouldnt stop

ngl its getting kinda tiring to keep updating this but i’m gonna keep going cause i want this record for myself, and i’m not gonna quit something

ok i’m gonna continue the movie tmrw cause its prob gonna be a snow day (lol i left off at 111)

[selanpike]

Unfinished Trollcops thing

I remembered I had this thing, and figured I’d post it because it’s good, but it is never going to get finished.

I had this idea that I wanted to write a big Trollcops AU fic, from Team Sleuth’s perspective, but it sort of collapsed under its own weight. I wanted to include all the trolls, plus the kids, PLUS Team Sleuth (including the girls), the Crew, Kingpin.... I couldn’t find things for all these characters to actually contribute, and also, I’m not great at writing all the trolls!!

But I did write the first three chapters, which were the introductions for Sleuth, Pickle and Ace respectively, so here u go. Abandoned Trollcops fic.

Chapter One

Spending any amount of time with Spades Slick is dangerous at best, you knew that. You also knew that you were making things worse by spending so much time with him, but you were counting on bruises and stab wounds, not this.

The interrogation room is sickeningly bright. The lights make it impossible to know what time it is outside. You know it was close to sunrise when they brought you in, but you’re not sure how long you’ve been here. Even the ticking of a clock would be a welcome reprieve from this boredom. You wish they’d just throw the book at you already.

The door finally opens, creaking a little as it does so. Apparently the Alternia Police Department can’t even afford a can of WD-40. Two officers walk in. You recognize them from your various interactions with the police in the past few years--Sergeants Terezi Pyrope and Sollux Captor. Sergeant Pyrope pulls up a chair and sits down at the table across from you, lacing her fingers together. You can’t read her expression through her opaque red glasses. You’ve heard that she’s blind, but she seems to stare right through you.

“Problem Thleuth.” Sergeant Captor reads from your file, standing behind his partner. “Thirty-five yearth old. Prothpitian. Failed out of polithe academy at age twenty-four. Ith that right?”

“I wouldn’t say failed,” you say, choosing your words carefully. “I jus’ didn’t like how y’all--I mean. I wasn’t a fan ‘f the bureaucracy.”

“Is that so,” Terezi says.

You nod.

“So you dropped out and became a private investigator,” she says. “Is that right?”

“You know the answer to that,” you say, rubbing your temples. “Don’t pretend like we’re strangers.”

The silence that breaks out is painful. You run a hand through your hair, quietly wondering if your hat is okay, wherever they’ve taken it. Why the hell did they take your hat? What sort of monsters would mess with a man’s hat? This sort of shit is why you could never cut it as a cop.

“You’re charged with being an accessory to arson,” Pyrope tells you.

“Do me a favor ‘n arrest th’ guy who actually did th’ arson-ing,” you mutter.

“The alleged perpetrator is one Thpades Thlick,” Captor says, reading the file. “Damn, man. Thpades, really?”

“I ain’t an accessory t’ nothin’ that asshole does,” you say, slamming a hand on the table. “I was tryin’a stop that goddamn arson!”

“We have multiple witnethheth who thay they thaw you making out with the thuthpect before the fire broke out,” Captor says.

You wilt under their stares.

“I was tryin’a distract ‘im,” you say, weakly. “He’s a dangerous customer, after all. ‘S the ol’ honey pot maneuver, y’know?”

“It didn’t work,” Pyrope says, grinning her sharp-toothed grin.

“N--no,” you admit.

Sergeant Captor hands Pyrope the file, and she makes a show of flipping through it. It’s a pointless gesture since you know damn well she can’t read it. You try to look at what’s written on the pages, but she pulls the file away so she can give it a good long sniff. You slump over, leaning your arms on the table, thinking about how fucked you are, and what you’re going to do to Slick to get back at him for this. They’ll put you away for ages for this, you just know it. The APD have never been fans of yours, and you’re sure they’ve been waiting for the opportunity to put you away.

You jump when Pyrope snaps the folder shut. She puts it down on the table, sliding it to the edge.

“I’m going to admit,” she says, slowly. “That, considering your history of making trouble, we took this opportunity to get a warrant to search your office.”

“You--you what?!”

“Well, the thusthpect is thtill on the looth,” Captor explains, and you wonder if you punch him hard enough if he’ll stop with that goddamn lisp. “We had to check and thee if there were any clueth ath to hith whereaboutth.”

“And what did you find, huh?” You’re raging mad now, and you aren’t bothering to hide it. “A whole bunch of jack shit. Or are you going to charge me with possession of a deadly writing implement or something?”

The two of them stare at you for a moment, and then Pyrope pulls a photo from her jacket. She places it in front of you. It shows your evidence wall, a large corkboard you’ve set up in your office to collect clues in the murder you’re investigating.

“So, what? You gonna charge me with murderin’ th’ District Attorney now?”

Pyrope and Captor look at each other, then back at you.

“We’ve been investigating the DA’s death too,” Pyrope says. “But we haven’t turned up a thing.”

“And here you are,” Captor adds. “With evidenthe we never even thought to look for.”

You grin a little. “Oh darlin’s, are you jealous?”

“We know Kingpin was behind it,” Pyrope says, and her voice is uncharacteristically devoid of humor. “Like he’s behind every other high-profile murder in this city. I’m sick of him making a mockery of this force.”

“Stop bein’ such a joke, then.”

She stands up, slamming her hands on the table. “Take this seriously!”

You raise your eyebrows and wait for her to get to the point.

“We’re willing to offer you a deal,” she says. “We’ll ignore this latest… indiscretion, and you’ll help us put Kingpin behind bars.”

You laugh.

You can’t believe they’re actually coming to you for help. How many times have they impeded your investigations? How many times have they told you to buzz off, leave this to the real cops? How many times have they told judges not to accept your evidence, or straight up confiscated your evidence and claimed they found it themselves? And now they want you to help them?

“Sorry, sorry,” you say, still chuckling. “I musta misheard. Y’ couldn’t possibly be askin’ for my help. I mean, I ain’t a cop or nothin’. I ain’t got no authority.”

“Don’t be a jackathh,” Captor snaps.

“This is in your best interest,” Pyrope says. “You are, after all, still under arrest.”

She does sorta have you, there.

---

You have your hat back when Sergeant Captor takes you outside, to the back of the department. The sun has definitely risen by now, and you’re treated to all the sounds of the city waking up.

“Thith whole thing ith completely off the record,” Captor tells you as he closes the door behind him. “Honethtly, I think it’th dumb ath hell, but at leatht if you get into trouble, nobody’ll blame uth.”

“As long as I don’t trail it back to you,” you add.

“Obviouthlly,” Captor says. He pulls out his phone and types into it. “But we need one of ourth with you. Making thure you’re not fucking up too bad.”

“I’d really prefer we skipped that part,” you say, fixing your hair and trying to find just that right angle at which to wear your hat. “I don’t need no cops following me everywhere. It’ll slow me down.”

“Think of it like exthtra security,” Captor says, still typing into his phone.

The door opens and a short troll walks over, hands shoved in his pockets. He isn’t wearing a uniform, save for a badge he has hanging on a lanyard over a ratty red hoodie. He approaches you and Captor, then squints at you.

“I know you,” he says.

“I get around,” you reply.

“You’re that drunk fucknut that’s always making a scene in Crew territory.”

“Guilty as charged. Y’all’re jus’ gettin’ me on ev’rythin’ t’day!” You nudge Captor. “Sorry officer, looks like y’ gotta charge me for another crime.”

Captor groans and rolls his eyes. He slaps the newcomer on the back and mutters, “Good fucking luck,” before heading back inside.

You wait for the door to click shut before you say, brightly as you can manage, “The name’s Problem Sleuth. Solicitations for my services are--”

“I’m sorry, do I look like someone who gives a fuck?”

You drop the friendly act. “What’s your name, kid?”

“Vantas,” He says. “Karkat Vantas. I’m the undercover guy. I figure I got stuck with this because they figured I could tell the Captain I’m investigating you.”

“‘N I’m sure she’ll buy it,” you add.

“Yeah.” He sniffs, and looks you over in more detail. “I don’t think I’m the only one they’re gonna hand you. I know for sure they said they’re putting my partner, Nepeta, on this case too.”

You rub your face. “Great. Good. More cops, beautiful.”

He asks for your phone, and you exchange numbers. You then tell him to find something else to do with his day, because you’re going home and going the fuck to bed. This investigation can wait until tomorrow.

---

It’s well after 8am by the time you get home, and all you want to do is sleep for ten years. Pickle and Ace will bitch about you not being at the office, but you can’t bring yourself to care. They’re already going to bitch when they hear about this new arrangement, so what’s a little more?

Unfortunately when you walk in, you find Spades Slick rummaging through your refrigerator.

You toss your keys onto the table and sit down. He turns around, cold pizza hanging out of his mouth, and slams the fridge door shut behind him.

“I figured they’d have ya’ in th’ slammer a few weeks,” he explains through a mouthful of pizza. “So y’ wouldn’t mind if I ate yer food ‘fore it went bad.”

“Y’ couldn’t possibly post bail for me?”

“Fuck no. Who do y’ think y’ are, my Crew?” He moves his mug of coffee from the counter to the kitchen table, and then sits down across from you. “So who’d y’ call. Th’ stickbug? Did ‘e hafta give up his booze fund for th’ month?”

“No, nothin’ like that,” you say, reaching over and taking the coffee. Obviously sleep isn’t happening anytime soon, so what the hell. “They let me off.”

There’s a loud clatter as Slick’s chair falls over, and a knife is at your throat. It always amazes you how fast he is. You raise your hands in a conciliatory manner as he snarls at you.

“You fuckin’ snitched, didn’t you?”

“Slick, my most precious of darlin’s,” you say. “I would snitch on you all day, ev’ry day. But that ain’t what happened.”

“Bullshit!” The knife presses harder against your neck, and you feel blood beading along the blade. “Th’ APD don’ jus’ let people go, ‘specially not when they been with me. Th’ fuck did you do?”

“They hired me.”

He looks at you like you just sprouted a second head. He doesn’t move the knife at all.

You go on. “They’re investigatin’ Kingpin. They wanted my help.”

He finally pulls the knife away, but he doesn’t sit back down. “Great. Jus’ what I need.”

“Yeah, Slick,” you say, sipping the coffee. You’re not surprised that it tastes like shit. Slick probably isn’t used to brewing his own. That’s what he has lackeys for. “It’s exactly what you need. You want Kingpin outta th’ way? Jus’ let me ‘n the cops handle it.”

“Kingpin’s mine,” he growls.

“‘Scuse you.” You put the mug down. “‘M sorry, but did you know th’ stiff we found last week? No. Fuck no, y’ didn’t, ‘cause he was th’ law, ‘n he was my fuckin’ friend, not yours. Kingpin’s mine. He owns this fuckin’ apartment, my fuckin’ office, he’s got me by th’ balls without even tryin’ ‘n he murdered th’ DA ‘n none’f that’s got anythin’ t’ do with you.”

Slick narrows his eye at you, before pocketing his knife and stealing the mug back. He chugs the coffee down.

“Fuck you,” he says, slamming the mug back onto the table. “I’ll do it my fuckin’ self.”

“Right,” you say as Slick grabs his jacket and makes for the door. “So I guess I’ll see ya’ tomorrow, then?”

He grunts in response, and slams the door behind him as he leaves.

You know he’ll be back. Partly because you know he can’t resist making your life miserable--the two of you have been caught up in your fucked up little dance for too long, and he’s not about to give that up--but also partly because you know he can’t take down Kingpin on his own. He’s tried for months to do things his way, to just murder his rival crime boss, but Kingpin is careful, and he’s elusive. In the end, the best way to go about bringing him down is to turn the city against him, to get the law on your side. If you can get an arrest warrant on him you can have the whole of the city’s resources helping you track him down. You could freeze his assets, plaster his face on every bulletin board in town. You’ll leave him no place to hide.

You’re going to do it. Your name is Problem Sleuth, and you are going to bring down Mobster Kingpin’s criminal empire.

The APD are definitely going to steal the credit when it’s all said and done, though, and that fact makes you sick to your stomach.

---

Chapter Two

> Be Pickle Inspector.

You feel as though you’re being punished for Sleuth’s poor life choices.

Nepeta Leijon is a new hire at the APD. She, and her friend Karkat, used to be common criminals. Pickpockets, for the most part, although you remember seeing a few other items on their rap sheet. You’d encountered them once or twice. Never up close--their crimes were never complicated enough to necessitate your intervention--but they’d show up sometimes as witnesses.

Uncooperative witnesses.

You were aware of their being hired. Something about the APD seeing them as valuable assets for undercover investigations. You see the logic, but you’ve never been a fan of undercover operations. You stand out too much. You’re too tall, too gaunt, too recognizable. Your preferred method has always been surveillance. You set up cameras and wiretaps all over the city, in all the seedier bars and meeting spaces. Nothing escapes your omniscient ogle.

Nothing except Kingpin. He’s careful. He doesn’t discuss anything important on the phone, least of all the phones in any of his businesses. You can’t figure out where he lives or where he holds any of his most secret of meetings. Even if you could, he always has too many guards patrolling his places, making it impossible for you to sneak in and plant anything.

It was infuriating before, but now with the death of the DA it’s got you on the end of your rope. And now they want you to babysit this rookie cop? How the hell are you supposed to get anything done?

You asked Sleuth what he did to invite this upon you, but he won’t tell you. You suspect Slick was involved. Slick is always involved these days.

You have a solution to this problem, though. Well, not to the Sleuth-Slick problem, there’s no solving that, but the Nepeta problem was easy: let her work on transcribing your recordings so the two of you can finish them twice as fast. It leaves you with just enough free time to make tea and doodle in the margins of your notes.

You’re halfway through a wonderful drawing of a horse wearing a bonnet when your phone rings. You have specific ringtones for every person who calls you often enough, and you put your head in your hands when you hear this one. Nepeta notices, and watches you as you sigh and answer the phone.

“I’m busy enough,” you whine into the receiver.

“That’s a shame,” says the smooth, dark voice of Diamonds Droog. “And here I had something I thought you’d be interested in.”

“What is it?” you ask.

“Meet me on the corner of 34th and Feldings,” he says.

“D--do I have to?” you say, clicking your pen. “Can’t you just, just tell me? On the phone? Like a normal person? I p-promise the line’s secure.”

“34th and Feldings,” he says again. “Now.”

He hangs up. You put your phone down, put your head on your desk, and groan loudly. Why is this your life? All you wanted to do today was transcribe audio logs and not interact with anybody. You even packed a lunch so you wouldn’t have to go out and talk to any fast food workers.

Without your realizing it, Nepeta has picked up your phone and unlocked it. You make a mental note to change the passkey and not let her see you input it next time. “Diamonds Dickhead?” She makes an exaggeratedly surprised face, and puts your phone back on the desk. “Is that who I think it is?”

You stand up and fix your tie. “I have to go out.”

“Oh! Let me get my coat.”

“No.” You grab your own coat, put it on, and start buttoning it. You make a deliberate effort to put the buttons in the right holes, and you’re secretly glad you haven’t had much to drink yet today. “S--stay here and, and keep transcribing.”

“I’m paws-itively sure that’s super important,” she says, putting extra emphasis on her pun. You’ve noticed that she likes cat puns. In less infuriating circumstances, you’d think it was cute. “But I’m not here to help you so much as to watch you.”

You smooth your hair out and put your hat on. “That’s a terrible idea. N-no, you should just stay here, and not tell a soul I went out. U--unless I don’t come back. Then tell Sleuth. Understood?”

She grins a catlike grin and says, “Nope!”

Droog is never going to let you hear the end of this.

---

34th street is where his tailor is, so Diamonds Droog didn’t have to go out of his way to meet you. It is also clear on the other side of town relative to your office, so you had to go especially out of your way to meet him.

This is par for the course, and you make an effort not to look exhausted when you get there.

He’s waiting for you on a street bench outside his tailor’s, smoking one of his expensive cigarettes. You approach him, but don’t look at him directly. You stand behind the bench, facing away from him, pretending to read a bulletin board. Nepeta follows along, but she sneaks a few glances at Droog when she thinks you aren’t looking.

He breathes out a long puff of smoke before speaking. “Is the detective business so bad that you had to take up babysitting?”

“I n--needed the second job to, to support my tea habit,” you respond.

“That’s a funny way to say whiskey.”

“Oh, no. I steal that all from m-my boss. You see, he has a wealthy patron with a vested interest in, in keeping him too drunk to make good decisions.” You lean back onto the bench, crossing your arms. “I’m s-sure you don’t know anything about that.”

“I’m sure I don’t. Can she leave?”

“I don’t know.” You look down at Nepeta. “C-can you leave?”

“I can, yeah,” she says.

“A--are you going to?”

She shakes her head.

“Sorry,” you say to Droog. “It’s a, a long story.”

He pauses and takes another drag from his cigarette. He taps some ash out on the ground, then reaches into his jacket pocket. You have just enough time to hope that he isn’t pulling out a weapon with which to kill the witness you’ve brought along, before he pulls out a couple of photographs. He passes them to you. They all depict various old-looking artifacts. You’re pretty sure you’ve seen some of these in the museum.

“All of these have gone missing in the past month,” Droog explains. “Obvious signs of a break-in, but no evidence pointing to a culprit.”

“D--do you think Kingpin was involved?”

“Absolutely.”

You scrutinize the photos further, and notice that all the artifacts share a theme. Every one of them either depicts a horrorterror, or symbols associated with said terrors. “This, um. It looks like your sort of thing.”

“Hardly,” he says. “The four of us get our magic from the Terrors, but we don’t need trinkets like this to channel Their powers. They give it to us freely.” He illustrates this by producing a small purple flame in his hand. “Kingpin, though. He’s Prospitian, like you. He doesn’t have the connection to the Terrors that we Dersites have.”

You think about that as you pocket the photos. “Do you think he’s trying to make a pact with the Terrors?”

“Perhaps,” he says, extinguishing the flame. “It’s possible he’s seen what we can do and wants that power for himself. I doubt he’ll be successful.”

You wonder whether it would be possible for a Prospitian to make a pact with the dark gods. You’re almost tempted to let Kingpin try, just to get an answer. It’s not your best idea. If nothing else, these robberies give you one more thread you can follow in your attempts to get any charge at all to stick to him.

“I’ll look into this,” you tell him. “Call me if--if you hear anything.”

“As usual,” he says, before standing up.

He smooths out his suit, throws his cigarette to the ground and snubs it out with his heel. Without once looking at you, he strolls away. Nepeta waits until he’s out of earshot before she says, “You know, Mister Detective, you don’t act much like a detective.”

“H--how’s that?”

“All the wiretapping, and purr-tive meetings with shady guys,” she says. “You’re more like a spy.”

You let out a small laugh. “Don’t say that one to the others. They’ll start coming up with spy names for me.”

“Pickle Inspector’s okay for a spy name,” she says. You start walking, and she follows you. She has to trot a little to match your walking stride. “Spies don’t put ‘spy’ right in the name! It’s too conspicuous.”

You’re enjoying this flight of fancy, despite yourself. “I’ll need to imagine up some clever gadgets, to uh, to get me out of pinches.”

“And you’ll need a car,” she says. “A fancy one, that turns into a submeowrine.”

“And a, a dangerous love interest,” you add.

“Oh? You don’t have that already?” She grins up at you. “You and Diamonds Dickhead had an awful lot of chemistry. You aren’t caliginous?”

“What?” You shove your hands in your pockets and look towards the street. “No. Obviously not. Th-th-that’s just, just gross, ew.”

She giggles, and you don’t like the knowing look she gives you. You reach into your jacket, produce a flask, and take a long gulp. It doesn’t help your mood any. It just reminds you of the last time Droog caught you drinking in the middle of the day, and had the audacity to call you “pathetic”, as if lots of people don’t drink before noon on a weekday.

She’s still giving you that look. Fuck.

“A--anyway, the, the case,” you stutter, trying to get back on the subject of work.

“I know somebody,” she says. “That might help.”

“Who?”

She shrugs. “Old friend of mine. She knows all sorts of things about old stuff like what got stolen.”

“That would be, it’d be really useful,” you say.

“I’ll call her when she gets off work,” Nepeta says, adjusting her hat. “In the meantime we can get back to listening to your wiretaps. The part I was on was pretty juicy.”

You’re relieved she’s so easily given up the subject of Droog and gotten back to the task at hand. She might, despite your initial misgivings, be useful to have around.

“I’ve also started a shipping chart for everyone you’re surveilling,” she adds.

After she explains to you what a shipping chart is, you are simultaneously horrified, and intrigued at the new avenues this gives you when cataloguing and interpreting your data.

---

Chapter three.

> Be Ace Dick.

Once upon a time, you were a police detective. You like to give Sleuth shit over his lack of occupational experience, but he seems to think that his two weeks of police academy are all he could need. For someone who brags about his charisma, he really doesn’t understand the importance of making connections.

You haven’t been working on the Kingpin case with Sleuth and Pickles. You think they’re out of their league. Kingpin’s ruled this city since Sleuth and Pickles were still in grade school, they didn’t stand a chance. So while they ran around on their fool’s errand, you were out hitting the pavement, solving more sensible cases and keeping the agency afloat. Sergeant Pyrope was a rookie when you left the force, but she remembers you. Whenever you have a case that requires some APD know-how, you hit her up. There’s a little diner next door to the station that’s popular with the coppers, and that’s where she meets you to give you the low-down on some two-bit drug dealer who skipped out on a debt.

You buy her a second coffee once she’s said her piece and you’ve finished writing it all down. Then you tuck your notepad back into your coat pocket and say, “So I heard y’ gave Sleuth a job.”

She shrugs, grinning. “It should be worth a laugh. He always says he can do better than us, so let’s see it!”

You shake your head. “Here ‘m always tryin’ to tell him to stay off that case, and you’re just eggin’ him on.”

“So you’re not going to help?” she asks, before taking a sip of coffee.

“Hell no,” you say. “I quit the force to get away from that malarkey. You at least payin’ him?”

She laughs. “Do you think he’s going to ask?”

“He damn well will, because I’m goin’ to tell him to,” you say, jabbing a finger at her. She can’t see the gesture but she usually can tell that you’re doing one. You’re not sure if she hears the movement or somehow smells it. You don’t know how her weird sense of smell works. “We got rent to pay, missy. If he’s runnin’ around chasin’ Kingpin he isn’t doing other cases.”

“We’ll have to set up a collection,” she says. “I’ll put a little can in the break room. ‘Pay Mister Candy Corn’s rent’.”

Detective Vriska Serket walks over, whacking your hat off your head as she passes you to sit next to Terezi. “Can’t be too much, right? Doesn’t he live in a cardboard box?”

“That sounds right,” Terezi says. “But in this city that’s what, 500 bucks a month?”

“Depends on how new the box is, probably,” Vriska responds.

Terezi nods. “Either way, Kingpin owns it so it is absolutely drafty and leaks in the rain.”

“I’m not opposed to makin’ jabs at my dumbass not-boss,” you say as you straighten your hat out. “But I’m serious. You’re payin’ him. And Pickles too, if you got him involved.”

“We do,” Terezi says. “He’s got poor Nepeta bored to tears.”

“That’s a lie,” Vriska says, taking Terezi’s coffee and putting it in front of herself. “She started writing fanfiction about those counterfeiters on seventieth street. I’m going to try and convince her to submit it as evidence.”

“While that is hilarious, don’t. The Captain doesn’t need to know about any of this.” Terezi takes her coffee back and chugs down the remainder before Vriska can make another attempt. She coughs.

“Now there’s an idea,” you say. “If you don’t pay up, I’ll go let Captain Peixes know what you’ve been up to.”

“Why Ace,” Terezi says, leaning forward. “Are you threatening me?”

“Might be.”

“Maybe if the Captain finds out she’ll get embarrassed enough to put me on the case,” Vriska says.

“Gettin’ tired of solvin’ murders?” you ask.

She throws her arms up in the air. “The only interesting crimes are the mob ones! All the regular crimes are just dumb shit, there’s usually a witness or a camera or something, there’s no challenge!”

“I thought you liked racking up wins,” Terezi said.

“I fucking love racking up wins,” Vriska says. “But I want ones worth my time. Kingpin’s the biggest baddie there is, I gotta get in on that.”

“Maybe you should let her follow Sleuth instead of that angry kid,” you say to Terezi.

She snickers. “No, I’d give her to Tootsie Roll Frankenstein.”

Vriska slaps the table. “You think you’re kidding around but I’d love having that guy work for me! He’ll do all the tedious boring shit so I have more time to pound pavement and beat in faces.”

“I’m glad you appreciate Pickles’ special sort of appeal.” You stand up, straightening out your suit. “Thanks for the tip, Pyrope. Now please stop takin’ advantage of my teammates.”

She salutes at you, and it’s dripping with irony. “No, I don’t think I will. You’re welcome to come get taken advantage of, though!”

“Fat chance,” you scoff, getting out your wallet. You pull out a few bills, enough to pay for your coffee and Terezi’s, and drop them on the table. “Take care of yourselves, ladies.”

“Tell Sleuth if he gets evicted I just got a washing machine and he might fit in the box if he gets on all fours!” Vriska calls as you leave the diner. You hear the two girls snickering behind you.

They laugh, but you know the APD’s pay is shit. You do much better for yourself working as a private dick. The lack of benefits are a kick in the nuts, but at least you don’t have to deal with all the paperwork and politics, and every now and then you got a client who paid you a ridiculous sum for some dumbass thing. Sleuth could do as well as you. He’s certainly got the sleuthing skills for it. He just keeps wasting his time worrying too much about justice and too little about the real world.

You figure he’ll learn eventually. Kids like him always do.

(i can’t remember if this ace chapter was even finished but EYY THERE U GO)

[occupationalhazards-series]

Zero Hour: Track One (A Side)

[image- a drawing of a vinyl record with “Zero Hour A Side” and “Ciela, The Heir Not Quite Apparent” as the text in the center.]

Content Warnings: blood, self injury (in a non self-harm context), referenced child abuse and kidnapping, referenced abusive food restriction

In a stone lined room, a small girl lies in a bed. Her slick navy horns turn indigo in the first hints of sunlight, and the light casts a similar bright violet hue to her aubergine hair. Even the small disturbance of natural sunlight is enough to wake her, eerie mercury eyes snapping open even as her body stays stone still. Her breath pattern changes, but only barely.

She tenses minutely, and waits.

One breath, two, each nearly as silent as the last. Even with her vigilance, she hears no approaching guards and fails to sense the approaching magic of her attendant.

This small assurance is all it takes for her to spring into action, shoving a light blanket and sheet to the foot of the bed. The plain night clothes she wears don’t change at all in the light of the rising sun, their muted cream color remaining dull and boring. Her skin, however, does, the soft bronze shining a bright, magical copper in these few minutes she has to herself.

She drops to her hands and knees just as quietly as she had woken up, and reaches out under the bed. In one smooth motion, she slices her left ring finger on the prepared razor blade and smears the bloody digit on the hidden compartment under the bed. She catches the journal when it falls from the compartment, and shimmies back onto the bed, crossing her legs and settling herself into her morning routine.

First she closes her eyes, recalling and reviewing. Judging by the angle of the sunshine coming through the window, her attendant shouldn’t arrive for at least an hour. It is day four of the week so far, which means... breakfast, then free archive time. After that comes etiquette review, and that precedes sword training.

Joy.

She lets out a sigh and resigns herself. This is the day’s routine, and knowing is far better than not.

Especially on weeks when Lord Prince is around. Her huff isn't even forceful enough to move the longest part of her bangs, but her eyes flash a bright platinum.

Onwards, then. She opens the precious journal far more delicately than necessary, unable to stop herself from feeling the all too important inscription on the inside cover as she reads it aloud.

"To Our Beloved And Adored Hatchling-

May your scales grow strong,

may your magic grow true,

may your stories be told.

We love you."

Her voice is airy, but not light. It has the soft tone of someone who has had cautiousness beaten into them, and the surety of one reading an absolute truth. At this moment, the very edge of night conceding to day, only the latter sentiment matters.

Her steady breath wavers, shaking as she remembers. She wishes she was older when she left (when she was taken)- there simply aren't enough days to recall no matter how far she reaches back into her memory.

Nine years just isn’t enough, especially for her kind. (Yet four years is far too many. Funny how that works.)

She has to steel herself- mentally, of course. The strict dietary regimen Lord Prince makes her keep leaves her far too underweight to brace herself with a full body of scales like her mother.

Every day is too much, and every memory is not enough. It's not a surprise- nothing that happens near daily can truly be labelled a surprise- but it cuts jut the same.

One breath, then another. Moving on, she flips to the back of the book, and then carefully flips forward by several pages. There isn't a single word on any of these pages- just hundreds of tallies, carefully, furiously scratched in. They total in the thousands, and each one represents one day away from home.

Ciela leans over the bed and nearly falls off in her rush to grab the last hidden item from underneath it- a slick and elegant metal dip pen.

She settles back into position, noting the time as she carefully presses one preternaturally sharp fang into her left palm, slowly pulling her palm away and letting the blood well in her hand.

There is no way in all the Courts she'd use something as easily manipulated and identifiable as ink.

The blood of any and every Drake is a powerful magical artifact in and of itself, but the actual substance of an individual Drake's blood is even more useful than that- any Drake could and frequently did hide their secrets with it. (Blood is home. family. secrets. love. self. ancestry. futurepastnow.)

Blood casting is an instinctual, near primitive form of magic, taught to the youngest of hatchlings. But it WORKS.

The simplicity rebounds into strength- there must be a Drake, of sound enough mind to channel magic, and something important enough to spill blood over. Will and blood.

They are all that saves her.

One breath, then another. Focus. She writes in her journal while she can.

Dearest Elders-

I have no good news. I’m not sure I have any news at all. My attendant continues to give me leniences and graces that are sure to get them in trouble. I don’t know why. They gave me a whole bunch of ambrosia berries yesterday. My magic feels bouncy and airy and like I could fly.

I want to unbind my win

Why can’t my magic feel like this all the ti

IM SORR

I am growing, but not enough. My wings are so small I’m worr

I am small even for a human my age. I know I won’t be as big as you, Mother, but you and Father are not small people. My fourteenth winter approaches, and yet the ten-summer children of the archivist are taller. As Dauphin never ceases to mention.

The ambrosia berries were good. I’ve never had something so sweet. They taste like ceremonial wine and frost lightning and honey (It’s no wonder Dauphin pays so much for their wine.)

I want to taste some properly grown by sky fae one day. I’ll share some with you too, I promise. I haven’t grown into a selfish person without you. Not yet

I’m trying so hard , please believe me

I suppose I did have something to tell you today. I’m sorry it wasn’t important. I have to have faith that you still care about unimportant things

me my day.

I love you

-Ciela

She doesn’t cry. There is no one to trust with her tears.

Nothing to do but hide her secrets once more. She cleans her dip pen with the pitiful flames she can muster from her lungs she slips it back in its makeshift hiding place along with the journal. One more drop of blood and a burst of wild magic makes the whole thing disappear to the senses. Her hand twitches, spasming into a fist.

She can’t get rid of her rabbit pulse heartbeat.

So she takes a deep breath, and as she slowly releases it her eyes widen. Her primary, secondary, and tertiary eyelids open, and her irises glow a brilliant platinum.

The world comes into preternaturally sharp focus. Every color, every detail, stands out in sharp relief. It’s not just enhanced vision- truesight reveals magic, hidden or unhidden, wild or controlled.

Ciela takes four careful turns. Nothing can be suspect. Nothing is.

She had to be sure. She nods, satisfied, and changes the flow of excess magic to heal the small abrasions on her hand. It only takes a few seconds- they were no more severe than a papercut.

Pacing and preparations done, she heads over to the window. A hop and a scrunch and she’s settled into the rim of the bay window. She tries to look at the sky, tries to feel the clouds and calls of her own from within her cage. They don’t come to her, and it’s no surprise. She has been looking and reaching for one thousand four hundred and thirty eight days, and the closest she’s come is feeling the faint echoes of a Wyvern Call.

Either the wards are that strong, or the closest of her kin was over a hundred clicks away.

Whatever. At least she can see the sky in this room placement.

She’s too tired to glare, but the look on her face as she stares at the sky she hasn’t felt in years is withering none the less. Ciela sits near perfectly still in the closest thing she gets to tranquility for twenty eight minutes before she heads back to her bed. The stone floor is cold, and she pretends not to feel it.

A soft “pat pat pat” marks her elegant trudge back to bed. Her attendant will be in soon.

She doesn’t sigh as she pulls up the covers. Tears don’t escape without permission. Her mattress isn’t stiff, her blankets aren’t too thin, her skin doesn’t feel frail.

She thinks she’s pretty good at lying these days.

She nods off before long.

When its time for the attendant to come by, Ciela is still dozing. She wakes up just as the attendant reaches out to touch her shoulder. This is no surprise to the attendant- they have been stationed over Ciela for nearly two years, and are well aware she is a light sleeper. “Your schedule has likely been moved around, but your meal is still first on the agenda.”

Ciela nods and walks over to the closet to grab her formal day attire, assigned by the Dauphin’s attellier. She grabs an undershirt and bloomers first, one each out of the twelve identical garments in the wardrobe. Next comes the loose floor length trousers. A dull navy, they match the dark grey hip length wrap blouse’s accent and ties.

“Why? My schedule was just revised.” They turn towards the opposite wall while the young girl dresses. Their voice is low and smoky and androgynous . It seems to echo and gain volume and clarity the closer they get to the shadowy corners of the room.

"Why else? Prince is in a mood today”, they murmur. “He’s always in a mood. My lessons don’t usually get changed because of it.” They sigh, and the shadows around their cloak seem to ruffle. "Mmmm. True. It will hit the public announcements later today-the Crafter's Guild has decreed that all Ranked Crafters are prohibited from engaging in business with the Prince family. Apparently, they’re concerned about the implications of Lord Prince’s recent land acquisitions."

This warrants a pause from the younger of the two- “Really?”

“Mmm. Well, nearly every consultant Lord Prince has warned him against it.”

“ I remember overhearing something about it. Didn’t Lord Prince bid rather aggressively for an old manor that was seceded to the Fair Folk territory nearly three centuries ago?”

“Yes, and he won, too. All of his other bids have been close to Ley Lines, or near enough to another Court’s sacred territory to be just this side of politically... impolite. No one knows what he’s up to, but it doesn’t matter in the short term. This embargo will be a major blow to the business deals his family and the Court of Graves have that are in negotiations.”

Ciela makes an intrigued noise as she pulls on the blouse to tie it. "Wait. I thought that guilds couldn’t declare grievance against specific families without violating Court Law?"

The attendant hums and counters "Service embargoes technically aren't, but they tend to be risky enough anyway. I'd be surprised they had the temerity, but this isn’t a standard case. Can you tell me why?"

Ciela opened her mouth to respond, but remembered to stop and think it out first. Her brow furrowed as she carefully detangled her hair from her horns. Tight, unrelaxed curls at the scalp of her horns always tangled with the wayward stretched waves. "Because... they didn't declare a formal grievance? No, as a guild they couldn't anyway. Not against a whole family... although some might argue that the rule doesn’t apply if there’s only one person left in the family line."

"True, although any of the leading members of the guild could, and that would have it’s own implications." They said this mildly, patient enough to let the kid reach her own conclusions.

She sits down to tie the blouse and mull over her answer.

“Oh! I got it I got it! Because the Crafter’s Guild only forbid their ranking members from collaborating with the Prince family directly, and not every guild member or a specific person.”

She’s finished getting ready, but flexes her hands so she can focus to get a more complete answer. “Prince has been very aggressive in his politics lately. Is it possible the Crafter’s Guild was looking for any way they could find to keep their most skilled members from a contract with Lord Prince? Formal service contracts are supposed to be voluntary; each individual trades-person could choose to interpret such an embargo as ‘the head of the Prince line and all of his close associates.’ That leave most of the Society of Magisters leaders and management without access to some of the most reputable trades-people around.”

The shadows deepen with her attendant’s pleasure at her analysis. Encouraged, she goes on. “ I’m not sure why ethical disputes over land purchases was the thing that made them take such drastic action? If they really wanted to avoid dealing with our guild couldn’t they have publicly taken issue with... most anything Prince has done in our name for the last few years?” Her consternation isn’t all over her face, but is in the increased speed of her hand flexing, her lightly furrowed brow, and the rigidity of her shoulders.

Her attendant sits down with her, warning that they have to leave soon before explaining. “The Crafter’s Guild is one of few guilds that is politically friendly with, but not a subset of, any particular court. They are also one of the most diverse guilds, with members of many Courts, backgrounds, and specialties. The land disputes were probably picked because they would be the most plausible reason on paper. It is well known in certain circles that the heads of the Crafter’s Guild have a grudge against key Grave Court leaders-any other stunt they pull with less legal merit could be construed as as a personal vendetta using a community platform.” Ciela nods, her twitching hands slowing down. “Since they have so many specialists, they can easily claim that associating with the our leader could threaten the livelihoods of the crafters within their own guild by consequence or association.”

Ciela gets up to prepare her school supplies for the day. Some in her bag, for using in the classroom after first meal, the rest laid out on the pitiful desk adjacent to the window. “That sounds like a lot of ‘maybe’. Is there another reason this happened?”

The shadows fluttering around the attendant’s floor length coat seem to languish with their amusement as they too head towards the door. “One of the leaders of the guild flat out hates Lord Dauphin, and the other is loyal enough to her and dislikes our Lord enough to back her up.”

Ciela almost smiles before she steps out the door. Lord Prince hates that nickname. She never has the courage to say it out loud.

It doesn’t last for even a second after she crosses the doorway’s cold vacuous energy. The child’s head dips, her back straightens. They both quiet, and prepare to play their roles.

Both of them know that this fleeting moment of peace is the closest she’ll get to happy for the day.

Both of them will take it. For now.

Thank you for reading this debut! Zero Hour is brought to you by:

Ash Pana (Writing, Design, Pencils)

Jessica Song (Design, Inks, Tones)

Sasha Reneau (Zine/Print Formatting)

[supergoodnarratives-blog]

Script

MORNING 1 "It doesn't really matter what you do choose because you didn't really get to choose what you get to choose"- anonymous Title card. Overhead shot and slowy zoom into Rachel who is laying on her back in bed. She is visibly stressed out as her eyes are wide open, she ever so slightly twitches, and her breathing is irregular. She is hugging a piece of paper with both of her hands across her chest. We hear auditory flashbacks while this is happening FLASHBACK1 Rachel honey, its okay. If your can't support yourself you can always move back in with me and your father. We'd love to have you around! Its no problem, well its a little ridiculous but you know, I have to offer you. FLASHBACK2 *Knock*Knock*Knock* AY! I know you're in their Rachel! Open up! 3 months late on rent! This is ridiculous, just just just crazy! You used to be my favourite tenant but now look at you! Like god! What the heck man. Ugh, I'll just slide this under the door. FLASHBACK 3 *Beep* Hi, uhm yeah this is Kitty from Fantastic Finacial Services. You are super late on your credit card bill.  It’s pretty ridiculous. Anyways, you better pay up soon.

FLASHBACK4 Hi Rachel, this Tanya. Can you come in tommorow to interview for that spot you applied for? An alarm clock rings and Rachel immediately shuts that thing off and hops out of bed immediately. Cut to the paper that she left behind on her bed now face up. *Eviction notice* Cut to a stack of bills on her counter, a bunch of mail in the garbage, email full of bills. In another room, Rachel grabs a bag of dog food, pours all the content into a dog bowl. Its obvious that shes at the bottom of the bag and not even that much came out. She sighs and almost breaks down. She takes a deep breath. RACHEL KitKat! Come here girl! The most absolutely cutest dog in the whole world runs out to Rachel. Rachel pets her then slowly gives Kitkat a hug and holds on dearly. RACHEL I know things are tough right now but we'll get out of it. I promise KITKAT *RACHEL'S VOICE Oh yeah man, you're totally going to get this job, I mean, who wouldn't want to hire you. I'd hire you in a second! RACHEL Aww thanks KitKat, you always know what to say to make me feel better. Love ya KITKAT *RACHEL'S VOICE I know I know, I'm always here for ya loser. Bork bork RACHEL I'm going to get ready for today, you eat some food KITKAT *RACHEL'S VOICE Aight aight RACHEL After I get this job, I'm going to buy you that super expensive dog food with the boujie dogs on the packaging KITKAT *RACHEL'S VOICE Ahhhhh shit, yeyeyeyeyeye MORNING CHOICE 1 Quick montage of rachel getting ready, toothpaste on brush, shower on, towel grabbed from rack, sleeves pulled,all dressed up. Montage ends and we see her look at herself in a mirror. MONOLOGUE I don't have much choice in what I'm to wear. It’s pretty clear that it’s a formal workplace. But I think I could spice up my outfit with some stylish socks. MORNING CHOICE 1 A SUPER DUPER FUN SOCKS *This choice mostly just to get users aquainted with choices. A tutorial round. Rachel puts on these socks and has a little hop in her step. MORNING CHOICE 1 B PATTERNED SOCKS *This choice mostly just to get users aquainted with choices. A tutorial round. Rachel puts on these socks and checks out her socks and admires them. MORNING CHOICE 1 C PLAIN WHITE SOCKS *This choice mostly just to get users aquainted with choices. A tutorial round. Rachel puts on these socks and fixes her posture, breathes in and walks out all composed like. MORNING 2 Rachel tries to put on her shoes. Her stomach growls. RACHEL Ugh, not now. STOMACH Growls again RACHEL What do you want STOMACH Short growl RACHEL No, we really don't have much okay STOMACH Sad long growl RACHEL Okay time to go work* gets cut off STOMACH LOUD GROWL RACHEL Goddammit okay! Fuck. Rachel heads to the kitchen and opens the cupboard. Inside is revealed to be one granola bar, a rice cake, and a fruit by the foot. MORNING CHOICE 2 A GRANOLA BAR Rachel eats the granola bar. Probably in a silly way. We'll decide when we shoot. MORNING CHOICE 2 B RICE CAKE Rachel eats it MORNING CHOICE 2 C FRUIT-BY-THE-FOOT Rachel eats it MORNING 3 STOMACH Growls* but sounds like a thank you RACHEL Don't mention it. She heads the door and steps out. RACHEL Bye kitkat! KITKAT *RACHEL'S VOICE Get outta here already lol Rachel is now outside and needs to make a choice on how to get to work MONOLOGUE K so I can walk but I might be late. I can bike and get there on time. But what if I cant find somewhere to lock my bike and im late. Oh man. I can bus but I always miss it and that can cause me to be late. Oh man. Choices choices choices. MORNING CHOICE 3 A BUS Rachel waits at bus stop. Bus comes and she gets on. Cut to her getting off. She walks causally into the building. MORNING CHOICE 3 B WALK Rachel walks to the interview. Right before she walks into the building she checks the time. RACHEL Fasionably late, check me out world. WAITING ROOM 1 *Rock your body - saxtribution is playing through a small radio. There will be 2-3 people waiting there in chairs but for the most part the room will be empty and open. The receptionist will be there waiting absentmindly and a strange man with a very strange leg twitch sitting down. Rachel approaches the desk in little panicky hurry RACHEL Hey! I'm here for the 9 am interview PAM (NAME TAG) Yes,Hello, Mr will be right with you. please take a seat over there. Pam elegantly motions towards seating area. Rachel sits alone. The weirdo gets up and sits next to her. WEIRDO Psst WAITING ROOM C1 A TALK TO WEIRDO RACHEL Ugh hi WEIRDO Question RACHEL oh ok WEIRDO What lives when you feed it food but dies when you give it water? WAITING ROOM C1 A A FIRE RACHEL Fire! The answer is Fire! Fuego WEIRDO Oh yeah, that is a very traditional answer. But I also would have accepted: tamogachi RACHEL What how? WEIRDO tamogchi is robot,Cuz water, psssssst RACHEL Hmmmm, very nice WAITING ROOM C1 A B I DON'T KNOW MAN WEIRDO Well basically, the correct answer is fire. But if you want to impress people, say tamogachi RACHEL What how? WEIRDO tamogchi is robot,Cuz water, psssssst RACHEL Hmmmm, very nice WAITING ROOM C1 B IGNORE RACHEL kay, please stop talking to me WEIRDO Ugh fine, I was just trying to help but you know, whatever. INTERVIEW START PAM (NAME TAG) Excuse me miss, he is ready to see you now. Just head over there and take a take a right RACHEL Okay thanks! Wish me luck! She does not wish her luck. Rachel heads into a conference room. There is a table, a man in a suit is sitting there. He has a fancy name tag that says Brad Deebaag that is very visible. BRAD Take a seat miss, Brad looks at his clipboard BRAD Smithe? Rachel got that look on her face, like: is this guy foreal. Rachel sits down INTERVIEW C1 GREET HIM BY FIRST NAME RACHEL Hello, Brad. Nice to meet you. BRAD Actually, if you can refer to me as mr dbag that would be great. INTERVIEW C1 GREET HIM BY LAST NAME RACHEL Hello Mr. Dbag, nice to meet you *burst out laughing* oh my god I am so sorry BRAD Its actually pronounced DeeBog RACHEL Ohhhhh im sorry INTERVIEW QUESTION 1 BRAD Okay, so basically this job is a joke and this interview is just a formality. Honestly were just going to pick some one randomly from the shortlist. So just don't mess up okay, but if you really wow us you're pretty much a shoe-in. That said, this interview will be really short. RACHEL Okay

BRAD THis interview will consist of 3 questions.

RACHEL Oh hey thats pretty easy *gets cut off

BRAD Question 1: what do you care most about. 8.

INTERVIEW QUESTION 1 CHOICEA MY WELL BEING BRAD

Ah thats nice Brad makes a note in clipboard INTERVIEW QUESTION 1 CHOICEB MY DOG KITKAT

BRAD Ah thats nice Brad makes a note in clipbaord INTERVIEW QUESTION 2

BRAD QUestion 2! *Trying to set suspence with his voice* What, lives when you feed it food, but dies when you give it water? INTERVEIW QUESTION 2 CHOICEA FIRE

RACHEL Fire!

BRAD Hmm

Brad makes a note in his clipboard

INTERVEIW QUESTION 3 TAMOGACHI

RACHEL Tamogachi BRAD Hmm very nice Brad makes a note in his clipboard

INTERVIEW QUESTION 3FAKEOUT

BRAD Ok, question number 3 PAM (NAME TAG) Mr. Deebag! We need you for just a moment. It is extremely urgent and important.

BRAD I'm so sorry about this, please, excuse me. 9.

INTERVIEW BRAD LEAVES CHOICE LOOK AT CLIPBOARD Rachel peaks at the clipboard, on it: a beautifully sketched heron with sunglasses drinking a soda.

INTERVIEW BRAD LEAVES CHOICE DO NOT LOOK AT CLIPBOARD Rachel sits there and hums a catchy song. This scene goes on for an uncomfortable amount of time.

INTERVIEW QUESTION 3 REGARDLESS OF OPTION PICKED Brad speaks as he's about to sit down

BRAD Ok, question 3 for real this time He glances at his clipboard, and looks up

RACHEL Yes?

BRAD Did you by chance take a look at this clipboard while I was out of the room?

RACHEL No, I did not.

BRAD Are you sure?

RACHEL Yes.

BRAD Hmmm

Brad does the Larry David staredown to Rachel

BRAD hm, Ok

RACHEL Sigh of relief

BRAD Anyways, back to question 3. If you can be any animal, and I mean any animal. What animal would you be?

ANIMAL CHOICE 1 AND ENDING: HERON

RACHEL I would be

Dramatic suspense and pause, zoom in on faces, etc. 10.

RACHEL A heron

BRAD You looked at my board didn't you! This is ridiculous! Everytime! I can't trust a snoop, a nosy nelly, a peter peaks a lot. Get up on outta here!

RACHEL Aw shit

ENDING CLIP: 3 months later. Rachel homeless.

ANIMAL CHOICE 2 AND ENDING: OWL

RACHEL I would be Dramatic suspense and pause, zoom in on faces, etc.

RACHEL An owl

BRAD Ah nice, well you're hired!

RACHEL Ayyyy niceeeeeee

BRAD Yeeee boiiii

RACHEL UH hu, uh huh uhuh uhuh *emporors new groove BRAD Yeyeyeyeyey They celebrate for a while and its cuts to ending Ending CLIP: 3 months later. Rachel is still celebrating albeit exhuastedly. Coworkers keep asking tasks of her ad she passes out on her keyboard.

ANIMAL CHOICE 3 AND ENDING: NARWAHL

RACHEL I would be Dramatic suspense and pause, zoom in on faces, etc.

RACHEL A narwhal

BRAD Interesting. Well, you're hired. 11.

RACHEL Niceeee

Ending clip: 3 months later. Rachel has been promoted to CEO. Pam enters room and tells her so and so wants to form a stragegic alliance. Rachel answers: niceeee. Brad comes in and calls rachel boss and said the shareprice is up 10%. Rachel answers niceeeee. The waiting room wierdo thanks rachel for the job and says she is going to win a big award. Rachel answers niceeeee. End