#and she's like venting and says something and obi-wan just goes 'ahsoka. what do you mean by that'

[kraviolis]

i love codywan. its so delightful and good. i understand the appeal immensely and the two of them compliment the other nicely. very good 10/10.

rexwalker... scares me. it just feels way too chaotic. theres no way in hell either of them would be on the same page about the true nature of their relationship. either rex would fall in love while anakin thinks its just a fling or it would be the reverse. and theres no fucking way either of them could keep it secret either, the only reason anakin and padme's secret lasted so long was bcus they didnt live together most of the time and the ppl who did notice kept their mouths shut.

imagine trying to keep a secret while living on a single ship with a thousand other people who are desperate for new material for the clone gossip mill. i think rex would sleep with anakin ONCE and not even an hour later he gets a message from cody asking if the general's wife knows about this

[phoenixyfriend]

I’ve been trying to figure out the best obi wan ship. They all have one slightly problematic thing this way or that. I’ve landed on the idea of obi wan and an equal is pretty top tier. But then I saw a picture of Coran from voltron. Coran and Obiwan might be a disaster but also both are dad shaped, both are bad ass, both are ginger, both have an accent. I think it could work. But another part of me is like Coran is just obi and jarjar mashed together. At the very least they hooked up.

Hey I just had restaurant ramen and Starbucks and actually feel like a human being so let's do something unnecessary but funny. I'm taking this as a challenge, anon.

Also IMO Coran has more in common with C3P0 than with JarJar

So obviously, both of these happen in Big Space, but the difference appears to be density. We see about the same complexity of culture and species interactions, but Voltron covers more galaxies. It's vaguely implied that Earth, at least, is the only planet with sapient life in the Milky Way.

I think the way I want to play this out, culturally, is that the Voltron area of the universe covers a much wider, but much more sparsely populated area, while the SW-verse is just the one very densely populated (in part because apparently humans just went Literally Everywhere) galaxy, where they didn't necessarily bother with developing the tech to go to other galaxies (except Rishi, which only sort of counts) because they haven't really even charted out their own yet. It was never contacted by the Voltron side of things because [checks notecards full of excuses] it's really far away from Altea and all that, and the Force shielded the galaxy from Galra interests because Reasons.

All this to say that the two franchises didn't interact until after the Voltron plotline was already over. We'll say it went mostly canon, except Allura survived because uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh fuck that.

We'll say that this is mid-TCW, you know, before Obi-Wan is a bundle of repressed traumas and bad coping mechanisms that's lost almost everyone he's ever loved to the dark side through death or corruption. He's still (mostly) okay! Anakin's not dark (or at least, not as dark as he could be; Obi-Wan doesn't know about the Tuskens), and Ahsoka's still in good standing and most people are alive and--and okay the army is a massive ethical violation he hates with his very soul and he misses Qui-Gon and Anakin's keeping secrets and pulling away from him every day but He's Fine, Guys.

He's Fine.

In comes a ship from not Wild Space, but beyond that. Intergalactic visitors, from the direction of the deeply concerning Force bullshit they felt a few years ago. Translation tech is decent enough on both sides that they get to talking pretty quickly. The explorer is actually a member of the Blade of Marmora, who gets the absolute most basic info (approximately this many inhabited planets, approximately this many trillions of sapients in the recorded galaxy, basic structure of the government for the past however many years, most recent conflict, etc.)

BoM person is like "cool, okay so you guys are really well set-up so I'm just gonna head back and kick this up a few rungs of the coalition ladder because this is way above my paygrade, I'll make sure you get some diplomats who can maybe help out with the whole galactic civil war situation as neutral parties."

The Voltron Coalition does send a diplomat! They, uh, also send Coran, who isn't technically a diplomat, but he's high-level.

The thing is, okay, that Coran is mostly just... passably competent at things. He's a jack of all trades, master of none type. He knows a lot of things, actually, but his practical knowledge in high pressure situations tends to be up in the air. He knows how to fix the Castle Ship and various technologies, but all of that info is ten thousand years out of date. He was a competent fighter at one point but these days his back gives out. He's very knowledgeable regarding intergalactic politics but, again, that information is ten thousand years out of date. He's also a little prone to social gaffs in dicey situations (e.g. the inciting incident in the Voltron Show episode where he misses the single day with clear skies), but puts in so much goddamn effort to make things happen.

In this manner, he's like a warped mirror of what Obi-Wan is and could be.

THAT SAID

Coran is actually really good with teenagers, and specifically with training them.

And Obi-Wan... isn't.

Obi-Wan's snarky and snippy and sassy, and he's decent enough at teaching and he's great at being a jokey friend and all, but he's not necessarily very good at emotions. And unfortunately for Obi-Wan, the teenagers he spends the most time with are Really Full Of Emotions. He tries, bless him, but he's just... he doesn't respond well to emotional conversations at the best of times.

His son-figure saying "You're like a father to me" leads to a response of... radio silence. Guys. That's not the mark of a man who knows how to talk about his feelings with the people he cares about.

In swans Coran with the various other diplomatic envoys of the visiting extragalactic community. The entire situation is really leading to a lull in the war because nobody wants to risk pissing off this clearly well-funded, well-powered third party. As a result, many of the High Generals can interact with the envoys, even if they spend quite a bit of time eyeing the Separatist representatives on the other side of the room, because clearly Everyone Needs A Seat At This Table.

It's a very tense situation.

Obviously, Coran is exactly the weird uncle that goes around telling plausibly-exaggerated stories about Weblums and Yalmors and Balmeras. I'm going to say at least one former Paladin is there, maybe Hunk. Hunk's fun, and also very willing to help Coran make friends and seem Amicable instead of Distant by correcting some of the exaggerations. There's a nice, calm atmosphere in a bubble around Coran and his nonsense, and it's a weird situation but arguably just... you know. It's good. He's good at making people feel safe around him.

Cue the hissed argument between Skywalker and Kenobi. The actual cause of said argument isn't important, just the fact that, in a dark corner where they're less likely to cause a PR issue, Anakin and Obi-Wan are having it out. Anakin's maybe twenty, still a lanky ragebaby, all that fun stuff. Obi-Wan is a the endpoint of every too-young brotherdad. He's thirty-six but feels like he's sixty-three. He's tired, but trying so damn hard to still connect with Anakin and just--just--

Obi-Wan gives himself a few minutes to calm down before following Anakin. He doesn't even remember what they were arguing about, really, but he has to mend the bridge before it frays even more than it already has. If Anakin goes to Palpatine for advice again, he's going to... do something. Obi-Wan isn't sure what, but he just has to fix this.

What he finds is... well, Anakin did end up going to vent to a man of an earlier generation who acts like a slightly eccentric older relative, but it's not Palpatine for once.

The goofy, slightly abrasive but mostly charming, brightly-colored representative of the Voltron Coalition is standing in the little balcony that Anakin's made it to, listening as Obi-Wan's recently-knighted padawan vents. The man nods and makes noises at the appropriate times, and then asks questions that are... maybe a little too accurate.

"You said that you view him as a father, that he raised you after you left your mother."

"Well, yeah, but he doesn't think I'm ready, or--"

"No parent ever does."

"...my mom thought I was ready to become a Jedi."

"I can't speak for your mother," the representative says, "but the princess of my people, Allura... I half-raised that girl from the beginning, and after the destruction of Altea, we were all the other had left. I watched her lead battles and bring life to planets, trying to rebuild a universe out of the ashes of what we'd left behind... I saw the evidence with my own eyes, and I still, every time, I worried for her."

"Why?"

"I worried that she'd be hurt, that she wasn't ready, that she'd make a decision she regretted. Often, she did, and I had to help her back up, and while she's always come back, stronger than before... she is the closest thing I have ever had to a daughter, and I will always worry for her. Every parent does. Do you think, perhaps, that your own Jedi Master, that you consider a father, may worry because he looks at you like a son? That it's not that he doesn't trust you, but that he doesn't trust the world around you?"

Obi-Wan feels his heart in his throat.

The conversation continues in that vein. While Obi-Wan can't say he likes the fact that this stranger is putting words in his mouth, if only as hypotheticals, he can't deny that there's a part of him that relaxes as Anakin does, as every frustrated fresh-knight question gets a measured elderly-steward response that's angled to consider the interpretation that favors Anakin and Obi-Wan in equal measure. Every word encourages Anakin to talk things out and lay boundaries and express his frustrations to Obi-Wan in the plainest words possible.

There's a story in there, more than one. The representative tends to go off on tangents, ones that Anakin sometimes finds interesting and sometimes just resigns himself to. Mostly, though, it goes well, and Obi-Wan... well, he's always been 'a nosy little bastard,' according to quite a few people.

(In his defense, the terms they'd used about Quinlan's 'investigative personality' had been quite a bit stronger.)

He eavesdrops to the end, and Anakin doesn't notice at all. Obi-Wan's not sure if he should try to address Anakin's lack of awareness of the world around him. He's not technically Anakin's master anymore. The comment may be taken as a criticism of his worth and capability, rather than a sincere desire to see his padawan not die.

He approaches the representative instead. He intends to introduce himself. Instead, the first words that tumble out of his mouth are:

"How do you do it?"

The man--older than he looks from a distance, more wrinkles than the bright hair would suggest, but not quite elderly yet--turns and lifts a brow. "Hm?"

"I'm sorry, I'm--" Obi-Wan grimaces. "I'm Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi. The young man you were just talking to is my former padawan, er, my former apprentice. I've been finding it harder and harder to speak with him over the past few years, and it seems that every interaction we have leads to an argument. How do you... manage that? I can't get him to listen to me at all."

"Ah, teenagers," the man sighs.

"He's twenty."

The representative pauses, and turns to him. "Are you the one he says raised him? The father?"

"Well... yes, I suppose that's one way to phrase it," Obi-Wan says, eyes darting to the side. He doesn't know how to explain the whole attachment situation to someone who barely knows what a Jedi is. He has even less of an idea of how to explain his own broken ability to speak of emotion, the parts of his mind that Bant clucks over and attributes to his own complicated relationship with Qui-Gon. "I had custody as his primary guardian from ages nine to nineteen and was the primary individual for handling his schooling, health, and general upbringing."

"That sounds to me like a very convoluted way of saying you were his father in all but name."

Obi-Wan grimaces. "I'm not exactly old enough to be his father, and I wasn't exactly the person he was supposed to learn from; I was the... back-up option."

"It seems he cares for you very much."

"He didn't have much of a choice," Obi-Wan says, with the kind of helpless smile and awkward shrug he's long gotten used to sharing with people when they ask. "And I assure you he'd have been happier with the man that was meant to teach him."

"I'd say that the 'would have' in this situation is much less important than what is," the representative says. Obi-Wan probably should have paid more attention to his name. "I wasn't in a position to define my relation to Allura or her father in the way that truly suited our situation, by... oh, tradition, social norms, public relations, take your pick. I was a very well-regarded official, of course, but I wasn't royalty, not even nobility, and I certainly wasn't wasn't legally or publicly part of the family. But for all the limitations there, I was still able to find ways to tell her and her family what they meant to me, and they in return. Your apprentice cares for you very much, and I'm sure you care back, but I'd hazard quite the guess that you've no idea how to tell him that."

"I... I shouldn't," Obi-Wan says. "I'm fond of him, of course, but I've no wish to smother him, and to simply say it would be undignified. I imagine he'd laugh in my face."

The representative raises one eyebrow and takes a sip of his drink.

"Master Kenobi," he says carefully. "Might I suggest you go find your young man, tell him you love him, and perhaps give him a hug?"

Obi-Wan's face flares red. It's been years since anyone short of Yoda has spoken to him like that.

"I'm not a child," he sniffs, trying to angle enough away that the blush isn't as noticeable. He's damnably prone to such things. "You're not that much older than me."

The man laughs, and Obi-Wan lifts his glass to his lips in a futile attempt to hid the embarrassment a little more. "Oh, not counting the stasis, I've well reached the age of six hundred and twenty-four, my boy!"

Obi-Wan chokes on his drink.

The man laughs a little more, but thumps him on the back until he's breathing normally again.

"Yes, most of the humans I've told have had quite the reaction!" the representative assures him. "But yes, even with the times adjusted to what any given local year is, I am significantly longer-lived than most species."

"No kidding," Obi-Wan manages. He wipes at his mouth with the back of his hand and looks over at the representative. He takes in the wrinkles and bright eyes, and says, "Well, I must say you look very well for a near-human of such an age. I can only name one person in that category that has managed better, and I haven't seen her since I was a child."

"I shall take that as the compliment it's intended to be," the representative says, twisting the edge of his mustache and beaming.

The man is... well, goofy, really, and quite a bit older than Obi-Wan had thought, but he's quite the charmer. Obi-Wan faintly compares him to a few different people in the back of his mind, but nothing quite fits. For all that the man is quite the jokester and--going by some things he'd seen from the corner of his eye in the main party--a master of physical comedy, the representative is actually more competent than he looks, and for all his visible age, not bad to look at. He is also, seemingly, an expert in dealing with teenagers and young adults, something Obi-Wan himself is... decidedly not.

He really should go speak with Anakin.

And there's a war to fight.

He doesn't really have much time, even with the recent lull.

He's in no place to be looking at the clean-shaven jaw and wondering what it would feel like under his lips, or to let himself consider whether this man would be the kind to have an hours-long discussion as to the narrative forms common in other galaxies, and whether they have anything paralleled to those in Obi-Wan's own, or if this man would show the same enthusiasm over teas that he'd shown over the hors d'oeuvres inside.

He should... really go find Anakin.

"I suppose it's time to find my padawan," he says, more to fill the air than anything. "Er... thank you, both for speaking with him, and for speaking with me."

"Not a problem at all, Master Kenobi!" the representative says, and Obi-Wan realizes that there's one last thing he may have... forgotten.

"This is terribly embarrassing, but I don't believe I caught your name?" Obi-Wan says.

"Coran Hieronymus Wimbleton Smythe, at your service!" the man says, with a sweeping bow. "As you can imagine, most simply call me Coran."

"Then I insist you call me Obi-Wan," he says, and before he can stop himself, "Might I bother you with an invitation to a shared tea time? You seem a knowledgeable fellow, and I'd appreciate the chance to... eh, pick your brain, shall we say."

It's not the smoothest come on he's ever put out there, or the most easily interpreted, but... well. Perhaps it's for the best. He's rather often found his tastes going in irresponsible directions, and it'll be much easier to brush this off without diplomatic incident if there's room for Coran to politely ignore the less platonic options.

Obi-Wan hopes he doesn't.

It's very selfish of him, but a dalliance with an older gentleman... well. He does, perhaps, make such irresponsible decisions, even now.

"I do believe I'd enjoy such a thing!" Coran enthuses, grabbing Obi-Wan's hand and shaking it in large, effusive movements.

Oh, this is a terrible idea, Obi-Wan thinks, even as he exchanges comm numbers and says goodbye.

Still.

He likes the idea of having at least a little fun, sedate or less so, while they have some time to themselves.

[nny11writes]

Fictober 27- Moment

The one where Ahsoka goes undercover, finds herself crushing on someone, and can’t act. But honestly, what else is new? ~~~~~~~~~~~ Ahsoka was doubled over with laughter, unable to explain exactly what she found so hilarious about the dramatic Jedi flick based on the totally fake time that never happened where Skyguy beat Grievous aboard the Malevolence.

 During her undercover mission with Master Obi-Wan it had seemed prudent to actually spend time with regular kids her age. In practice Ahsoka had found it awkward, nerve wracking, and unpleasant with one exception. She had gotten to meet Moshi, who was a fifteen year old togrutan colored all in purples and pinks. He was silly and kind and had a set of fantastic dimples that complemented his round face. Ahsoka had known from the moment she’d met him that she was in, what some might call, Trouble. She knew better, she’d done better when it came to Lux but Mosh was...was him. Despite knowing it was a bad choice, Ahsoka had agreed to watch The Great Malevolence with him.

She only somewhat regretted the choice.

Moshi had responded to her laughter with a kicked puppy glare as if he was personally hurt. Each new round of her laughter, and derisive comment only causing him to melt sullenly into the couch. Ahsoka eventually managed to get a few words out to explain herself. “Look, it’s, it’s just, it doesn’t work like that! Explosive decompression is, well, it’s explosive. Lightsabers don’t work like that. Master Skywalker probably didn’t get shirtless for the fight, and what the heck?”

Dashing on screen was a rail thin togruta girl who performed a rather average gymnastic stunt before landing next to Anakin “The Hero with No Fear” Skywalker.

“Don’t worry Master, we can take him!” The girl cried dramatically.

“Of course we can, stick with me Padawan.” Fake Anakin said with a wink, and the two posed with some frankly amazing backlighting. “Let’s scrap this droid.”

Moshi’s sullen glare softened into something dreamy. “That’s his apprentice jedi, Ahsoka Tano. She’s amazing! And hot!”

Ahsoka coughed violently as she fought another round of blushing. The fake Ahsoka on screen effortlessly destroyed droid after droid with a great vibroblade technique that would cause an actually lightsaber to bounce back in her face. Ahsoka tried not to notice the way the actress’s headdress had some weird triangular stones on it to stand in as akul teeth. That was just rude.

“She’s a huntress, you can see her akul teeth, and I’m just saying if jedi could marry I’d propose.” Moshi continued, apparently blind to her deep suffering. “I’d totally get my ass kicked to propose to jedi Tano. She’s so cool! Did you know she liberated Ryloth? Like, please, just punch me in the face master jedi.”

Ahsoka tried to keep her peels of laughter inside and mostly managed to just vibrate from the frankly unhealthy suppression. So this was what Sith Hells was. Trapped between inappropriate laughter, indignation, and the nervousness that only seemed to show up the second she wanted to be cool.

Fake Anakin turned screaming and force pushed fake Ahsoka through a dramatically closing blast door. It cut to fake Ahsoka pounding on the metal, her fake off green lightsaber apparently not good enough to cut through metal.

“Don’t worry young one,” Fake Anakin said as he turned to face the rail thin cyborg. “I am not afraid.”

Ahsoka’s brain made a choice without her input, and she lost an inevitable war to her soul shaking laughter. “This is sooooo bad! Stars, cut through the door dumbass!”

“Don’t talk about my wife like that!” Moshi cackled as he chucked a kernel at her head. “But seriously, cut through the door! It’s one of the biggest plot holes of the whole damned thing.”

Ahsoka was too busy dying to respond that it was a plot hole because it never happened, because Anakin hadn’t dueled Grievous at all! She had!

“And her technique is so, stars, it’s the wrong way to do it completely! Lightsabers are all weight in the hilt, there’s no weight to the blade.” Ahsoka wheezed at the ceiling. “And what kind of catch phrase was that? ‘I am not afraid!’”

“Oh so now you’re a jedi expert?” Moshi half kicked at her feet.

Ahsoka grinned awkwardly. Oh boy, some day she’d think before she spoke. Might as well take the life line though. “I might not know a lot about fake jedi, but yeah, I keep up about real jedi.”

“Oh really?” Moshi shuffled to sit closer and leaned in with a critical look. “So tell me then, what form is she supposed to use?”

Were lightsaber techniques public domain? Did the general population know about fighting forms? She dug a hole and decided in a slight panic to do what she was best at, keep digging. “Shien.”

Moshi blinked, suddenly sitting up straighter. “What unit does The Hero With no Fear fight with?”

“General Skywalker leads the 501st Legion, typically fighting with Torrent Squad. So does Commander Tano.”

“Dude!” Moshi stared at her with excited round eyes and bubbled with excitement. It was like she was the best thing he’d ever seen. Ahsoka did not preen as he whispered, “Dude!”

“What? Those aren’t hard questions Mosh, especially when you spend time learning real things!” Ahsoka lightly kicked at his leg. Returning the affection the way it was given. Probably a decent way to do this. She hoped.

“I concede that we could totally learn a lot, especially if it was about the jedi and my future wife. But c’mon, the vids are just fun even if they aren’t battle accurate. I mean, the mission with the Malevolence is still classified anyways. All we know is that Master Skywalker stopped it and that it was a super weapon.”

“Fire the super weapon!” Fake Grievous manically laughed. Fake Grievous was some kind of droid with a voiceover, a poorly maintained droid that Ahsoka felt pretty bad for. “There’s nothing that will save your precious Kenobi now!”

“Speaking of lucky assholes, dude, your dad!” Moshi fanned himself as he leaned back to watch the flick again. “He looks just like Kenobi!”

Ahsoka’s laughter turned into an epic coughing fit. They did not just go from her being the cool crush to Master Obi-Wan-who should Not Be Recognized At All Costs. She forced each word out around a set of chest rattling coughs. “What? No! He? No! Kenobi?”

Smooth. Real smooth.

“I’m serious, if he’d cut his hair and trimmed that giant bantha beard he could totally pass as The Negotiator’s twin. How have you not noticed?” Moshi, her dear new friend and crush, watched her coughing fit without so much as offering to help beyond nudging a soda towards her. A disgustingly sweet overly carbonated drink. Romance was truly dead. Ahsoka glared through her watering eyes and he continued, “Honestly he does! Hey, maybe you two could dress up as Tano and Kenobi for spirits eve. Dude, holy crap, that would be awesome!”

Ahsoka leaned back into the couch and tried to feel less awkward. “I don’t think that would fly. Besides, hopefully we’ll be gone long before then.”

It was like cold water had been thrown on them and Ahsoka did her level best not to turn and stare. Normal people couldn’t read emotions like that, so she should pretend to care about Fake Obi-Wan and his ridiculously chiseled features instead. Right?

“Do not worry my young friend,” Fake Obi-Wan turned, his ripped shirt dramatically revealing his super defined pec and nipple. He smirked as the camera zoomed in on the largest vent she’d ever seen. “I can make my own way from here.”

Fake Anakin, still shirtless, grinned at his communicator and posed with his lightsaber just so. The open circle sigel appearing from the random assortment of junk in the background very dramatically as Anakin turned to look down a giant hallway. “Meet you in the middle master.”

“Hey Mosh, what’s wrong?” Ahsoka hoped enough time had passed for her to ask.Moshi shrugged then rolled his whole head in time with his eyeroll. 

“I just, are you really gonna leave that soon? Don’t you like it here Ashla?”

“I do! I really do, but we need to leave as soon as we can.” Ahsoka rubbed her knuckles together. “We can’t just stay.”

Moshi practically slammed the popcorn bowl down before turning to look her dead on in the eyes. “You could. If you want to.” 

He placed his hands on top of hers. Light enough that she could pull away. Ahsoka tried to not melt the couch.

When had her own life gotten so much more dramatic and soppy than the flick? Even so...even so she just wanted to have this one moment last forever. She just wanted to have this one moment.

“I-”Ahsoka’s secret comm went off, loudly. She fumbled pulling away to fish it out from her belt. She at least had the sense of mind to answer with, “Ashla.”

“No time for that, I’ve found them and they are running. I need you to cut them off at the juncture to the spaceport.” Obi-Wan’s slightly winded voice blared at her along with several blaster shots and the whirling of his lightsaber.

Ahsoka, despite the seriousness of the call, found her eyes meeting Moshi’s huge watery gaze. “Yes Master. I can be there in ten.”

“May the force be with you Ahsoka. Kenobi out.”

Ahsoka let the call cut and summoned her school bag, all but ripping her lightsaber out from the smaller front pocket. As soon as the hilt hit her hand Ahsoka dropped the bag as dead weight. She turned to look at Moshi again, trying to memorize the way he looked right then. So hurt but happy, proud and sad and like he was desperately in love with her. As if she had any right to those emotions at all. “I’m sorry Mosh, but I really can’t stay. Thank you. For everything, it was fun.”Ahsoka tried to not kick her own ass too hard over how terrible of a goodbye that was, before she turned and ran for the junction. No chaos, be tranquility. No emotion, bring peace.

It would be hours later and light years away that Ahsoka would realize she still had her fake comm unit. A single message showed Moshi looking serious as he held up her school bag. The text said, “ nowyou have to come back i got your stuff”.

[calyssmarviss]

Calyss Watches the Clone Wars - 45

03x07 - Assassin.

YOU LIARS THERE IS ONLY ONE PATH AND IT’S THE PATH TO RUIN AND ASSISTED RESPIRATION!

Recap Dude: "Criminals captured! Jedi master Plo Koon and Padawan Ahsoka Tano successfully thwarted an attempt on Mace Windu's life, killing bounty hunter Aurra Sing in the process. Since that time, young Ahsoka has grown strong in the ways of the Force. Now, after several harrowing adventures alongside her Master, the two Jedi have returned to the Temple on Coruscant to receive their next mission."

So that’s a time skip? Interesting.

FFS IT’S A CARTOON CHARACTER! Why does he have to be so *makes vague gesture*

Well actually there doesn’t seem to be any time skip? Idk it’s unclear.

Uh, Force Vision! WHO IS "SHE"? THIS IS FUCKED UP KATIE!!!! (yes I went and checked who had written this episode and it's Katie Lucas, George's daughter) MAKING AHSOKA ASK YODA FOR ADVICE AFTER HAVING A FORCE VISION ABOUT SOMEONE'S DEATH IS FUCKED UP.

HAHAHAHAHAHA I'M SAD/MAD LAUGHING ACTUALLY BUT HEAR THIS: Yoda telling Ahsoka to not underestimate her vision like what the fuck you fucking Gremlin could you not tell that to Anakin, uh????

ಠ_ಠ

I'm outta here. . . . *comes back with coffee* Okay (I say, gesturing with my mug) but the Force seems to care an awful lot about Padmé. What's the fucking deal? Is the goal here to ensure that Luke and Leia are born and that she dies at the right moment so... The Empire can be a thing so they can destroy it so that Ben goes dark and Luke goes to his Depression Island and Anakin and Obi-Wan got their Force Ghost Wedding? No sorry I don’t get why Anakin and Ahsoka’s Force visions are a thing.

Okay, that's cute.

Ahsoka: "I believe that a very dangerous bounty hunter is out to assassinate you."

HEY WAIT SHE'S AT THE EXACT SAME PLACE THAN IN THE VISION!!! IS AURRA GOING TO TRY AND SHOOT HER RIGHT NOW???

*nothing happens* uh, ok, that was probably the Force telling Ahsoka "IT'S ABOUT THIS PERSON" OH she's going to Alderaan!

OMG what a shitty room.

Blablabla trust yourself and stuff on board of Padmé’s nubian...

LMAO Ahsoka's dreaming that Aurra is creeping on her in her sleep like, how does that even work? ( ﾟヮﾟ)

Alderaan's a pretty planet.

But the architects there have shitty tastes. Everything’s fucking grey and dull and boring.

Ahsoka you weirdo.

Padmé: "I'm a friend of the Jedi."

YEAH RIGHT. (I'm sorry but making jokes about how Padmé is secretly screwing the Chosen One of the Space Monks never gets tiring)

Some boring stuff happen like Ahsoka getting a more precise vision, Padmé choosing to maintain the conference, the conference happening, Aurra trying an failing to kill Padmé, me not watching this episode for a week and I'm back and holy shit this place is so DULL. And now I'm imagining Leia going to Naboo for the first time after learning that her bio mom ruled the place and cursing Darth Vader some more for fucking things up and condemning her to spend her childhood in this gray boring place when she could have spent in on Space Italy in beautiful palaces.

So Padmé receives a flesh wound (medic droid’s words) and OH BOY you can be sure ANAKIN’S going to be pissed when he learns about that. Well, Ahsoka will probably already have saved the day by then and since he’s a Jedi he will probably not show it but a bounty hunter trying to murder his wife? You can bet it’s going to ad a bit more fuel to his desire to Bring Order To His New Empire The Galaxy.

Ahsoka: "I think I have a way we can get around putting you in jeopardy, and have you attend the conference."

*eyeroll* yeah I get that this thing is kinda important but why does she have to actually attend? Why don’t they do a visio conference, uh? Look, if Jean-Luc Melenchon can use holograms to do meetings all over France you can damn well do it too Padmé!

Idk if it's really Padmé under there but: I'm getting serious Empire vibes here (with the music and all) and damn, she and Anakin would have been the greatest power couple if she had say "yes" when he proposed to rule the Galaxy together.

So. Leia's clothes aren't actually unique. It's just the Alderaanian Look.

So it wasn’t Padmé but one of those hot droids that do RadioGAR and also serve as waitresses in posh restaurants and stuff like that.

WHY ARE THE VENTS IN THE GFFA SO DAMN LARGE? IT's LIKE THEY'RE BEGGING FOR INTRUDERS

I'm counting the *flexes hands* as "Anakin was totally pissed here for a second before he released it into the Force or whatever"

OKAY I WANNA SAY IT BEFORE PADME SAYS IT BUT LAUGHTER AND BIG SHAPES AND PURPE... THAT HUTT????? IN THE CLONE WARS MOVIE? What's his name... Ziro? I think I saw something somewhere about Ziro the Hutt and how they'll be chasing him or something and I think it's coming soon.

WHAT IS THIS?

Oh it's a prison. Well it looks nice. Hum I wonder how many people are in there because of The Team.

There isn't a lot of things that I love more than Anakin doing this kind of faces. Also, yes it's Ziro.

Yeay me for the quick thinking :D

Prev/Next

[arielsojourner]

My mind won’t let this AU crack alone. If I have to suffer, so do all of you. More of my Father and Son Time Travel Star Wars Extravaganza. 

Part 2:

-Vader and Luke have a good system going. Vader shows up and takes control of whatever Separatist Fleet he can get his hands on by virtue of he is a terrifyingly tall Sith and he has the red lightsaber to prove it. Battle droids being battle droids just go along with it and then Vader reprograms as many as he can and blows the rest up and contacts whatever Republic troops Luke has already managed to take command of while their usual Jedi is away (the Order is stretched thin after all), and makes peace. 

-The local planetary leaders are a bit bewildered by it all to say the least. Those forcibly invaded by the Separatists are just stunned. “The Dark One isn’t killing us. The droids have gotten rid of their weapons and are now rebuilding our homes and planting crops. He and the Jedi General want to know if they can borrow some swoop bikes and go racing. What is happening here?” 

-The planets that that sided with the Separatists on moral grounds find Rebel Alliance/Jedi Luke a more than sympathetic ear to their concerns of Republic corruption. He promises to get them in touch with Satine or with Padme and have their concerns addressed. He tells them to keep pushing for reforms.

-The Trade Federation, Banking Clan, and Techno Union ilk find all their valuables taken from them. "Why blow it up when we can take it from them?" Luke suggests. The Rebellion was very much like Tatooine that way, nothing goes to waste. The opulence of some planets and the devastation of others really bothers him. Luke is very much into “rob from the rich to feed the poor.” Declaring peace is expensive work. The clone troopers they free along the way are happy to help in their new roles as reconstruction forces and peacekeepers.

-Padme goes back to Coruscant to bring favorable reports of the war ending to the Senate and sponsors a bill for clone rights. The Chancellor has to fake being happy about the whole thing and try and desperately spin it to his advantage but is not sure how. Ventress has vanished. Dooku hasn’t returned his calls in days. The constant dark side high of mass slaughter on a galactic scale has dropped to a mere trickle. He is feeling his age again. His “allies” are getting poorer by the minute.

-The Jedi Council doesn’t quite know what to make of Padme’s report. She praises the Jedi’s efforts in peaceful resolution and how their knights are reaching out to Separatists and working on reconstruction. 

-Obi-Wan looks at Yoda and Mace. Reconstruction? What reconstruction? Should they say thank you? Is that appropriate? Which Jedi is making peace with Sith backed Separatists and rebuilding? Is this about that weird report Master Kit had filed recently about the unknown Jedi working with a reformed Sith Lord? There was that holonet story about a Sith and Jedi clasping hands in peace but wasn't that just fake news? But what about the knights and masters returning from the Outer Rim after finding out they simply weren’t needed to fight anymore? Has anyone heard from Master Krell recently?

-“Tell no one of this we will,” Yoda says. “In turmoil the Force is. No longer merely clouded but raging like a storm. Investigate we will.” Obi-Wan and Anakin go with Padme to try and meet up with the mysterious Jedi/Sith duo but head in the wrong direction because Luke and Vader are already on the move.

- Ahsoka heads back out to the front lines with a squad or two of clones to rejoin the 501st and meet up with Master Krell.  She meets up with the 501st on some planet in the midst of “peace operations.” Luke is on the ground helping the locals and waiting for his Father to finish blowing up the rest of the Separatist bases that cannot be re purposed for the inhabitants with Ventress taking care of destroying the fleet in system. Ahsoka shows up just as Luke hands General Grievous his head and his arms on a platter. 

-Vader is on his way to the scene, v. v. upset his son had to face Grievous alone and taking it out on everyone who gets in his way (large explosions in the distance getting ever closer and closer). 

-Luke and his three clone apprentices (Fives, Hardcase, and perhaps Chatterbox?)  and the rest of the clone reconstruction forces are battered and bruised from Grievous but no one died. Luke picks up Grievous’ lightsabers and is all for giving them to his clone apprentices so they can be used for good again. 

-The clone troopers love their brothers who are Force sensitive. They think it is the coolest thing ever that someday soon the “generals” leading the way, defending them with lightsabers will be brothers, though Rex is a tiiiiny bit worried about what Hardcase could do with a saber. 

-Ahsoka doesn’t know what to make of all of this. She doesn’t know this Jedi, dressed in black, not wearing any armor (much to the constant despair of the reconstruction troopers not to mention his father – “I do not need armor, Father.” “Do not argue with me. Put it on NOW or I will put it on you myself!” Vader wonders if this would be what raising Luke from a baby would have been like. Was Luke the type of baby to strip off naked whenever he could? Is that what this is? Luke constantly loses his armor as soon as he can. It is restrictive. He can’t see how anyone can move in the stuff. The clones just gather it up where they find it since they know Vader will be demanding his son wear it again as soon as he comes back from reprogramming battle droids into sanitation workers or whatever he is doing). 

-And Luke is very pleased to meet a Jedi apprentice,  but seriously wants to ask her if she thinks re purposing Grievous’ lightsabers so Fives, Chatterbox, and Hardcase (having survived Umbara thanks to Vader dealing with Krell early) can start training with a saber is acceptable. Maybe it is a bit creepy? What does Ahsoka think? And Ahsoka just looks at Fives & Co. and then at Luke, and then at Fives & Co. and then at the explosions behind Luke (Vader is getting closer) and then at Luke and is like “What?”

-Captain Rex is quick to introduce Commander Tano around and share with her the amazing news about Fives & Co. being Force sensitive and “we should really being processing your troopers sir, get the chips out, stop accelerated growth so they can join the reconstruction teams.” Ahsoka blinks. “What?!” 

-“Fives is a Jedi!” Echo exclaims. “Go on Fives, show ‘em what you can do.” And encouraged by all his brother’s Fives closes his eyes and breaths and levitates one of Grievous’ arms into the air to give a jaunty wave until a shock wave from a nearby Vader related explosion causes him to lose focus. 

-Ahsoka decides enough is enough and shouldn’t they be worried about whatever is coming their way that is loud and on fire? “Nothing to worry about, sir” Rex is quick to assure her. “Vader is just taking care of the rest of the Separatists so the planet can go about its peaceful business. Luke, sir, I think we should have Kix put some bacta on those bruises before your father gets here.”

-In Rex’s mind, keeping Luke safe is of paramount concern. Vader is practically a force of nature (pun very much intended) and the only thing that keeps him on an even keel and with a focused direction to vent his black rage is Luke and even that varies from day to day.  Rex can manage the situation though. He isn’t sure why but Vader’s total obsessive behavior with his son seems vaguely familiar.

-And then Vader shows up and only has eyes for his son, furious that Luke faced Grievous without him, Grievous shouldn’t have even BEEN here! And Luke is hurt. That’s a bruise on his cheek, there could be internal bleeding, someone get a medic here now! Where is Kix? Oh, is that Grievous’ severed head? Well, good job Luke. Vader is super proud (That is my SON!) but what do you think you were doing taking such a risk!?! And Luke is all “It’s fine Father, we are fine. Fives, Chatterbox, Hardcase and I handled it just fine and look! Lightsabers! We can move forward on training.”

-And Ahsoka is all “Sith. That’s a Sith. That’s a very very VERY large and very powerful Sith. Why is no one doing anything about the Sith? He feels like a black hole of darkness, pain and burning. Is no one feeling this? Anyone? ANYONE?”  

-Hardcase nods “I know, Commander. Wild and crazy doesn’t begin to cover Vader. The amount of damage he can do is just beautiful. Took down more Clankers than anyone but is total mush when it comes to his son. Do you think we get to pick our lightsaber color? How about two lightsabers? Could I have two of them like you do?” 

-Ahsoka feels the need to call Obi-Wan, hell, to call Anakin. She needs sanity and she needs it now.

-Anakin stills so suddenly, Obi-Wan runs into him. “What is it?” Anakin just shudders. “Nothing, just felt something really weird in the Force.”