#and she's already done so many different types of programs

[eggplantgifs]

Satoko Miyahara: Ne me quitte pas » 2023 Stars on Ice Japan: Osaka

[xan-izme]

"Bad Guy" (Dad!jake x Villian Daughter reader)

Summary: Jake didn't just leave you on a rotting planet, he did so much more. He barely showed his fatherly side to you, he was on Marin mode 24/7. The night before he left was what pushed you to the edge, after years of him not returning, was your braking point. He left you, his own daughter and betrayed his own race. If he can do that, what's wrong with leaving behind your own humanity?

TW: Death, mentions of death, child neglect, drinking, manipulation ect.

tag list: @kkkmm @myh3artttt

How far can you push a child's love and loyalty. Till they no longer can tell the difference between the two?

Raising children is known to be a very complicated task. But it was a part of life. Parenting is tricky, anything you do or say will affect your child's behavior.

Jake didn't think like that. You were his first child, a girl at that. Your mother was just a one night stand, but he did know her. She was a friend from before he lost his legs.

When you were born, he was already in a bad spot. So a child being dumbed on him in his situation wasn't the best.

So, when raising you, he tried his best to show you that the planet they were on was cruel, and that you need to fend for yourself sometimes. He might have been harsh with his words, but you had some sort of understanding that it wasn't out of meanness. Jake was strict. Set up curfews, schedule for all classes and hang outs. Knowledge of your whereabouts was a must.

But all of that understanding and balance you two had, was quick to shatter. The night before Jake was to leave for Pandora, he was drinking. Yes, Jake drinks a lot, and you know that.

But his twin brother just passed, for the paper he had in his pocket. Sadly, you came back home 15 minutes late.

So, when you tried to get Jake to bed, he was just complaining about you coming late.

Jake was grumbling something while you were trying to clean up the bottles that were laying around.

He complained about the military, about his parents, the people and his twin.

"And you, Y/n"

You stood in place, watching your father point at you, bottle of alcohol in hand. "You killed your mother . . . and now, you're killing me."

Those words hit you like nothing before.

Jake threw the bottle towards you, it missed, but you wish it did hit you and just killed you.

The next morning, you locked yourself in your room. You refused to open the door. No matter how many times' Jake apologized, no matter how hard he begged.

His words of promises to come back and make it up to you, were probably the only thing that made you feel some type of sympathy. And hey, if he did come back, the two of you might have had a decent father and daughter relationship.

You just had to wait for 6 years or so.

Then 6 years turned into 8. 8 years turned into a decade. Then you got word of what Jake had done.

Betrayed his own race, fell in love with a native and started a whole new family. And on top of that! he got legs! isn't that lovely, good for him. And all Jake had to do was leave his pathetic, no-good daughter on a rotting planet to get the life of his dreams.

The amount of anger you felt could not be explained. Wanting to take revenge, wanting your old man to feel unexplainable pain you had been suffering. You applied for a spot in the RDA. Specifically, in the Daja blue group.

It took a lot of training and strings pulled for you to get in that program. But you got in, and once you showed your skills, you were immediately welcomed in.

"Ms. Sully-"

You held back the urge to give the operator a look, not liking being called but his name. But his name is a part of your plan. You want people to know that you're his, that you came from the same Jake Sully.

"Your Avitar is ready."

You hummed and followed the woman. You two passed many other avatars. Then finally came to a stop at one that oddly looked like you. You stared down at the young body.

You were currently in your mid 20's, but avatars are made to be way younger than you currently were. This one looks about 18 or 19. You didn't mind. As long as the body was capable of handling her plan for Jake.

You must say, Pandora was more beautiful than you expected. Such beauty shouldn't have been wasted on Jake. You honestly didn't care for Quaritche's reasons or his mission in general, all you wanted was to install fear and dread into Jake.

Thankfully, Quaritche seemed to not mind what your little mission was. The only thing you two had in common, was to put Jake down. Break him in unimaginable ways.

"Your one of his" Quaritche mumbled. But you heard what he said. Your ears perked as you slowly made your way to the small Na'vi boy. Now seeing by his fingers and looking closely at his face, he held a close resemblance to Jake, that caused you to stare rather hard.

You kneeled down and looked your half-brother in the eyes. You then heard a voice, a voice that you could never forget. You grabbed the innercom that was still connected to the boy's neck and tossed it to Quaritche. As the older man spoke to Jake, you grabbed your half-brothers face, examining it.

The boy growls and roughly moved his face out of your hand.

"Let us go you demons!" The boy hissed in his native tongue. You scoffed in amusement and took hold of his hand, roughly putting it in front of his face, then put your hand against his. Matching all five fingers.

"We are more similar than you think boy." Your words shocked the boy. Leaving him silent and confused.

You turned to go back to your original position, giving a glance to Jake's daughters. You glared at the smallest one.

When Jake brought the fight to them. Quaritche let you have a little time alone with Jake.

Your tail swished from side to side before pouching on Jake. Your fighting style was sloppy, but in a way that was nearly always unpredictable. Almost like you were some kind of; savage.

Jake threw you off him, causing you to land on all fours against a nearby tree. You hissed as you stood up slowly, your tail flickering side to side, your eyes had never left him.

"So mean papa. That really hurt" You licked the blood from your lips as you gave the man a toothy grin.

Jake frowns, that voice, was for some reason familiar to him. His eyes squinted as the figure stepped closer into the moonlight. Once you were in the light, it took him a second, but even in Na'vi form. He recognizes his own daughter.

"Y/n . . . ?"

Jake dropped his weapons as he slowly approached you.

"Y/n, my baby! how-" His hands hovered over your skin, before you stepped away.

The two of you stared at each other, in compleate silence. Suddenly, the sound of a helecopter came. You sighed

"Oh well, guess our time is up." You say in a disappointing tone, you turned to walk off and get back to the group.

"Next time, I won't go easy on ya!" You say with a playful tone, but the noticeable sadistic look you had said otherwise.

Chaos unlashed itself upon the Sully family. The children of Jake demanding to know more about the Avitar woman who claimed to also be a Sully. That night, Jake and Neytiri had to explain that Jake had a daughter back on earth, and the moment he betrayed his own race, he lost privileges of trying to bring his daughter to Pandora or at least try and contact her.

Jake thought about you every day, every second. Every time he treated his sons like soldiers, he was reminded of you, and what he had said that fitful night.

Lo'ak laid awake that night. Your words spinning in his mind. That small talk of how his father truly was. How Jake treated her worse than he was with them now. Lo'ak can barely tolerate how their father is now, so just thinking about how strict or harsh he was with you. He understood you were probably hurt, but he thought of some way to make you see what Lo'ak saw when Jake spoke about you. How much love he had with each word for you, speaking about you like he would for any of his children.

When Jake first saw you again, it was like a dream come true, but now, he feels like he sees you everywhere. You're becoming a nightmare for him, all because of that first interaction you two had, if you knew of this, you would be laughing at how pathetic Jake was to easily be this way.

Even though Neytiri saw you as a traitor and a threat to her family, Jake still saw you as his little girl. His sweet baby girl that he left. The little girl he had the nerve to treat like a soldier. Guess this was Jake's harsh reminder that he was raising a daughter back then.

The Jake now can never imagine treating Kiri and Tuk the way he did with you, it hurts him.

You didn't want to hurt anyone but Jake. That doesn't mean you care for the life around you, no, if killing the ones Jake loved the most would drive Jake to the breaking point like you wished? you would have done that long ago.

You kneeled down to Lo'ak and made sure he was tied properly.

"Why are you doing this! aren't you, our sister??" Lo'ak was trying to reason with you. Trying to make you see what you were doing was wrong. You sighed and gave him a small smile while caressing his head.

"Oh, sweet little brother. You are too young to understand."

"I wan't daddy . . ." Tuk mumbled out a small whine. You shifted your eyes to her.

You stepped back and examined the two. "you two think our father is such a hero. A noble man who loves his family more than anything. But your wrong, the moment you slip up, he turns on you. . . . Did you know what he said to me before he left?"

Lo'ak and Tuk stayed silent as they kept their eyes on you.

"He said that all I had to do was wait for 6 years, then he'll be back, and make up for what he had done to me. Then 6 years turn into 8, then it turned into a decade. . . . It took 10 years for me to realize I didn't need him. And that he didn't want me." You never told your small sob story to anyone, and you surprisingly didn't feel that shitty about what your life had become.

"Your wrong."

Lo'aks words brought you back. You tilt your head a little.

"Oh?"

"Dad loves you! He told us what happened and he's sorry. He regrets everything and all he wants is you to be with him again! h-he loves you and always did." You hum in amusement

"He loves me . . . . How interesting."

Your plan just changed, and in the best way possible.

Jake didn't mean too. He didn't mean to shout at you that night, he didn't mean to leave you behind like he did, he didn't mean to turn you into what you had become now.

You coughed up blood, holding your stomach tight, where the stab wound was.

And most of all, he didn't mean for this to happen. Not to you . . . not by him of all people

"Y/n- I didn't . . . please come with me. Your hurt!" Jake pleaded. You stumbled back and hit the metal wall. You laughed as you slid down to the ground. You slowly looked up to Jake with teary eyes.

It really hurts. The burning pain was like nothing you felt before.

Jake rushed to your side and tried to lift you up. You stopped him and gripped his shoulder. "Hey, you love me . . . yeah?"

Jake didn't hesitate to answer "Yes! I love you. I love you so much." Jake held back a sob as he moved strands of hair away from your face. You sighed and slowly looked back up to him.

"Then, if you truly love me. You should take responsibility for this." Jake's ears slicked back.

"W-what?"

Your eyes were stone cold. Void of any emotion.

"Finish what you started--" You grabbed onto Jake's hand, the one he still had his blade in. Your blood stained with the sharp object.

"-- And if you truly loved me, you'd end it for me already."

Jake shook his head "no, I can still save you! you still have time-"

You cut Jake off "Look, Jake. My time is up. No use for pity now." You were rather done at this point. Just wanting it to be over with.

Jake took a long moment. But it happened. You held eye contact with your father as he stuck the blade in you once more, finishing you off. His salty tears mixing with the blood on your face.

Jake Sully lost his daughter that day. By killing her with his own hands.

So, in short, remember parents that children can be quite fragile in their early stages of life.

They can and will remember everything.

[foxufortunes]

Some random tips and trivia for anyone wanting to take a slightly more realistic look at exy and sport in their fanfics:

Long jogs are not good for sports like exy. The best you can say is they're good cardio, but most exercise they should be doing anyway is good cardio. To oversimplify: long term energy and fast action energy have different power supplies and training one doesn't really help the other. There's a reason sprinters and marathon runners are not the same people. Exy is a sport of fast bursts and in some cases long jogs can actually be detrimental to your ability to play these sports.

Dear lord, warm up and cool down. I know most of us just assume this is in there and glossed over, but if you're going into details, warm up and cool down and wear warm jackets after. Especially cool down. I know Kevin and Neil have already fucked their bodies but don't make it worse. Also, rest days. You body needs time to recover. Kevin and Jean will be lucky if they recover enough not to have any career after college given how much Tetsuji has fucked the Ravens with his training. Thea is probably in agony the entire time and she doesn't have long left playing.

Goalie's lead the defence line. If you want to throw around a defence captain type plot, it's your goalies, it's always goalies. Because they have the best view of the entire court. You dealer should control the entire team's plays, as the person who should be going from defence to offence and back (assuming they work similarly to other sports with a similar position) but the defence is always run by the goalie, and your goalies are usually really fucking loud about it.

Your division/class is actually nothing to do with your team's skill, but your school's sports program and budget. The Foxes are not a Class I team, Palmetto is a D1 school. To get this status, your school has to have a certain level of sports program, featuring a certain number of sports, sports for women, upcoming/rarer sports and certain required sports. While EAU blatantly ignores all of this as presented in canon (they seem to be D3 status, maybe D2 at best) who got their status through bribery and corruption and their coach, Palmetto, as presented in canon, clearly meets D1 school status. Your school's division also affects what kinds of scholarships they offer. Typically, only D1 schools offer full ride sports scholarships. It's most likely Palmetto was looking to fund an exy team and Wymack went to them because they're a D1 school, or they approached Wymack, unlike the Ravens who clearly don't understand how this works.

On the topic of Wymack: the ERC couldn't have had anything to do with Andrew's miracle in October. We'll get to this but the ERC is just not that powerful, and, see above point, they have nothing to do with Palmetto's status. Now, Nora actually gives us a far more likely and better reason in the EC, that she then overcomplicated in canon trying to make the ERC more powerful for no reason, especially given Kevin wasn't even with the Foxes at the time. In the scene where we see Wymack recruiting the cousins, Andrew brings up the idea that Wymack's initial four year will be on it's last year that year and he needs results or the school will decline renewing his contract and rebuild the exy program from scratch under a new coach. This is far more likely a reason for him to need Andrew's miracle. It's his final year of his contract, the school wants results, and if they drop out now with so few games won, he's done for. And given how many NCAA rules he and Abby help the Foxes break, it won't be long before the rest of the Foxes lose their scholarships too.

Four years might seem like an odd amount of time for an initial contract, and it sorta is, but one thing mentioned in TSC that's never brought up in the original trilogy is redshirting. Basically, for all you have a five year contract, you can only play four seasons. One season, you get to practice, but not play games, this is called red shirting, and in my experience and what I've heard from others, it's typically the freshman, for obvious reason, but this does bring up issues for Wymack's team design, and means Neil will have to take a year off eventually. And don't even think about how this affects the Ravens.

Speaking of Ravens, this is honestly one of the most basic NCAA rules: you cannot play professionally and play NCAA. Kevin and Riko literally cannot be playing for professional teams and be playing for the Ravens, the NCAA would boot them instantly. And, up until very recently, you also cannot be paid for your photoshoots, or using your likeness or sponsorships. To play NCAA, during the period AFTG is set, you cannot make any money as a player. Now, there's an argument that Tetsuji could probably make that Kevin and Riko didn't make money as players, but as celebrities in their own rights, but that's a very grey area. But, no, they weren't getting paid for photoshoots or interviews or sponsorships or anything like that. The only exceptions are tournament winnings, and there is a very strict cap on that, and stipends which there was a lot of debate over whether that counted as payment or not. They cannot be paid for anything related to exy because the second the NCAA makes an exception for exy, every other sport wants it too, and I'm sure some of them are mafia backed too. Mafia bribery doesn't fix everything, and if your trying to write your mafia as not a bunch of idiots, they'll know where to stop.

And then the ERC. They're just not that powerful, y'all. I get that Nora wanted to make them seem powerful, but given how Riko does most of the shit not Tetsuji, even that's pointless. So, for a start, the ERC needs specific scope. It's cool to call it the Exy Rules and Regulations Committee, but for what? Sports tend to have an overall ruling body, but they don't actually control everything. They control things like national tournaments and teams. Then you have the country's body, that controls things like the leagues, and they often have different rules that take time to catch up to each other. Different leagues within the same country can have slightly different rules. And often the NCAA also has its own rules. (To use volleyball, because that does have wildly different rules, in the NCAA liberos can serve in certain conditions, and that's about the only place in the world this rule exists). Basically, they only have control if you're competing in their tournament or affiliated. For the ERC to have such control over the Foxes, they're likely an NCAA committee, this means the ERC only has power over rule and regulations of Class I exy (oh yes, each division has their own committee), meaning they control things like gear regulations, rules on bench size, foul rules ect. Not which class the Foxes are in, not if Andrew's allowed to play with them, nothing like that. It's strictly the rules of the game. And they are the bottom of the power chart. Above them you have things like the division committee, the student athlete's committee and so many others. The ERC actually has very little power because the NCAA is a massive, slow moving, complicated bureaucracy. Even if they could drop the Foxes a division or get rid of Andrew, it would take years.

[ya-bug-boy]

Hi! If u don’t mind me requesting may I req raihan x reader with a glaceon that’s always with them no matter what because they usually got picked up on and now glaceon is guarded with everyone protecting them? Aha thank u already mybe some angst?

I got you anon.

Raihan x Male Reader with Glaceon

tw: past abusive relationship

There were usually two stereotypes about ice-type trainers. One of the two, the trainer or the Pokemon, would be cold and distant, while the other is friendly and charming. That was sort of the situation you were in. Raihan usually fancies himself a dragon-type trainer, but he was blown away by your Glaceon's strength and couldn't resist the urge to battle you only once. Also to mention you were pretty cute, so he asked for your number.

But as usual, Glaceon had issues when it came to you and your romantic interests. Most men would give up pursuing you because of how overprotective she was. But since you had an interest in Raihan, you at least explained over text, while he was in a safe distance away from her. Glaceon was a present given to you when she was just an Eevee by your past boyfriend. You loved her very much but your boyfriend turned out to be a rather jealous man and slowly over time became suffocating with how dominating he was in every little aspect of your life. You have plans to be with your friends? You better ask him for permission and he just HAS to come along with you. No matter what. You want to spend time with your family, why do you need them? You don't need them, you just need him. He did more than just isolate you, he began to mistreat you. He could never keep a job longer than a year due to his horrible personality and expected you to care for him as a mother, not a partner. What do you mean you had a previous boyfriend before him? You better tell him every detail, he gets strange with the idea of another man having you. He didn't care for your needs, only looking out for himself. You spent many nights crying, not sure if you should stay due to how many years you'd been with him. Glaceon witnessed all of that.

You finally broke up with him and kicked him out, never hearing from him again. Effectively getting your life back by cutting him out. But Glaceon had already been affected by all this and became extremely protective over you, never staying inside her pokeball and being constantly by your side. She gave mean looks to everyone, hissed at those who tried to pet her, and wasn't afraid to attack others. By this point, you and Raihan had gotten close over messages. He knew he wanted to get to you know you better, but didn't want to impede on your relationship to Glaceon either. So what he offered next surprised you. He offered to help you get referred to a Pokemon therapist. Turns out that Pokemon need therapy too! In the case of event when a Pokemon becomes much too aggressive due to their loyalty, they could get referred to a program to help relieve their mental stress. Never having done this before, you decide to give it a try. Raihan dedicated a day of the week from his work to help you through this, coming along with you. By being consistent with Glaceon, he could show that he's a good guy. The three of you would spend three hours a week in therapy, going through trust exercises and getting adjusted to Raihan's presence. Glaceon didn't react well at first, giving Raihan a cold glare as she stayed at your feet, refusing you to get near him. But after a month of work, Glaceon did something different. Raihan usually sat at the corner of the room, close but not too close, during therapy. To show consistency and that he could provide for her, he was always the person feeding her lunch during therapy. But he could never get close enough to her, she'd stay distant until he set the bowl of food down and walked away. But this time, when Glaceon knew it was feeding time, she left your side and cautiously walked up to Raihan. Raihan couldn't help but to smile, "You know what time it is, don't you?" he laughed lightly. "Alright let me go get your food." He exited the door and Glaceon sat there, waiting for him. Her eyes were cold and focused, half expecting for him to still not come back but he did. This time with her favorite as well. Raihan set it down in its usual place and Glaceon still lingered near him before she began to eat, this was the first sign of trust you finally got her to show. You and Raihan exchange a look and smile, having finally made progress.

[asleepinawell]

assorted dawntrail thoughts below in no particular order. they range all over the place

loved the first half of the msq story. super fun, cool areas, interesting npcs, paced out pretty nicely. traveling around meeting/helping people and learning about cultures is what the wol thrives on and that is their type of vacation imo. shard of azem behavior

wuk lamat is one of my fave characters in the whole series. himbos stay winning. the amount of (usually bigoted) hate she's getting just makes me like her more. people seem mad that the wol wasn't the main character but i prefer it that way. they are there to help people!

erenville 😢. enjoyed his parts and man i felt so bad for him in the last area

krile finally got more time on screen but it did feel like her main bit was crunched in at the end kinda

alpacas 💯💯💯💯💯💯

overall the scions got a lot less screen time which was mostly fine. one thing I'd really been hoping for in dt was that y'shtola would finally get the focused arc that almost all the other scions have (krile was the other odd one out until now). and boy did the opposite of that happen. i don't know why they made the choice to basically not include her at all but it sucked. estinien was the other one who got almost no screentime but he had a whole xpac about him already. so yeah, that was my biggest negative overall. sometimes i wonder if there's some writers who don't like her or if the fact many fans hate her influences the focus on her. she's my favorite character in the whole game so, yeah, disappointed

second half of the msq. hmmm. shaaloani felt like a filler area and was meh though i got a laugh because of course they put dinosaurs in the wild west area. it did feel a little "wooooo cowboys!!! and oh native americans maybe exist, moving on". I'm not going to make any comments about cultural sensitivity stuff in dt since i think there are other people better qualified to examine that, but this part did feel like everything not yeehaw cowboys was an afterthought

the sphene part of the story confused me, as in i was confused why they went with that. it felt so much like the amaurot story which... we've already done? yeah there were some differences but it had the same vibes and themes. it was fine? just a weird choice. wish zoraal ja had had a little more going on beyond daddy issues for someone we spent a lot of time dealing with. i felt like i didn't even know what his relationship with his father was like. there was some piece of story tying into his motivation and past that was missing. sphene was more interesting though i wish they hadn't gone the route of 'she was programmed to do this so you can't dissuade her' and kept it more as her choice. i'm not saying i wanted her to be 'evil' just that it makes her more interesting if she's acting with free will

las vegas as the last zone lmao. kinda bummed the area stays dark now. like yes it makes sense for the story but it's now a much less visually interesting area to run around and that's a shame. it would have been fun to fly through and now it's just bland and empty

gulool ja should NOT be in charge of a city, he should NOT be at the club, he should be playing tag with ga bu in the park and living his best life. I'm taking him into protective custody

VERMEDICA ii

cities! tulliyolal is great! they did a really nice job of making it feel alive and bustling. it will probably be my main city to hang out in for the xpac because... solution 9... just was not a fan. it feels huge and empty and has elevator music. i like cyberpunk bi lighting but it just isn't enough to save it for me. ah well. neither of them can replace radz in my heart but i didn't expect them to

dungeons. they were all pretty and i liked how they incorporated little events into them like zoraal ja blocking a path. i wasn't crazy about most of the boss fights. they're definitely harder than ew mechanics but it was more that i didn't find them intuitive. I'm sure I'll learn them eventually but the types of mechanics in them just weren't fun ones to me. also i do them all duty support and while it seems like they've broadened the ai abilities for the npcs they also added a ton more aoe and line marker mechanics and those SUCK with npcs because the npcs will run to a predefined location with theirs regardless of what you do and they sometimes wait to do this until the extremely last second. so you move to be somewhere safe and oh no alisaie what are you doing *dead*. this happened a bunch in dead ends and mothercrystal (urianger..... you know what you did) and i was hoping they'd make less of those situations but no they made MORE. so in addition to learning the mechanics you also have to learn where the npcs are going to run. once you know you know but it's frustrating the first time through when your own buddies are killing you

trials. the first one was fine. second one i Did Not Enjoy (also hope that a wipe in the second half only sets you back to phase 2 start because the cs....). third one i really liked though i still have no clue what happened in that one part. you know which part. fortunately a healer survived it to lb3 us so we didn't wipe. i don't even want to imagine what the ex of that will be like. it was a nice ending trial

i was having a harder time than usual seeing mechanics in dungeons through my own ability effects (old and new) for most of the boss fights and i figured it was just me but some of my friends reported the same issue. not 100% sure what is going on there. i only have my own effects on and i really don't want to turn them down but :(

two of my favorite cute little moments: 1) when wuk lamat was despairing that zoraal ja brought back the fancy alpaca and then apologized to her own alpaca and told it it was great and it did a little step towards her to encourage her 😭. i just loved the alpacas okay. 2) vrtra showing up! and then azdaja doing a tiny roar!! crying yelling throwing up etc

i did all the side quests as i went and I'm glad i did. especially in the first half they felt like they added to the whole learning about new people main story and there were some fun ones. i had to catch a hyper cat in solution 9... that's my sort of quest

I've only done the magical dps role quest so far. comparing notes with someone who did a different one it seems like the role quests are very silly storywise this time. it wasn't the most exciting story but i liked my npc buddy and the final duty wasn't bad

job gear looks fantastic except for poor pld who is cursed to be a shiny knight forever. gnb coat is superb. blm wins though i think. cat staff!

i had to turn off shout chat when i got to solution 9 because i guess that's where all the cool kids hang out to talk about how much they hate the game they're paying to play. i haven't switched it back on and am enjoying blissful silence

i swear we've seen that world traveling key thing before???? it looked so familiar. also looked ascian which would make sense. they should not have left it with my son he is going to make a blue raspberry slushie in it or something horrible. please give it to an adult

i haven't been looking at too much in the way of interviews or speculation about the raid series, but my guess is it will involve the ascian(s) who were on whichever shard alexandria is. my crack theory is one of them is, uh, duedaf...duedalus...dudeathon........ whatever i'll get it eventually, because the constellation from their stone is an upside down triangle like the ones on the robot faces. big if true. a friend told me there was something that might have looked like part of an ascian sigil in sphene's outfit decoration but i wouldn't have recognized it on sight

pct is great. hanmer time! i am not a 'serious' gamer and i am so pleased to have a new job with a not serious aesthetic. vpr i am trying very hard to like but so far the gameplay style hasn't vibed for me

have i mentioned i love the alpacas? the ear wiggles!!!!!!!!

i probably forgot a ton of stuff but those are my rambles for now

[dulcewrites]

Whole different type of delusion that I see in this fandom is how helaemond shippers act. All they say is everyone should support Helaena cheating on her unfaithful husband because if you someone doesn't, it's misogynistic, but when you mention Alicent having sex with Criston in season 2 they are furious and say Alicent is not Rhaenyra to sleep around 😂

For them it's like helaemond makes sense because Helaena was smarter than Rhaenyra so no one knew Aemond's the father.

And then when you point out they behave exactly like daemyra stans they are surprised 😂

I knew Alys will be hated in fandom because of 2 things. By Blacks because she was better Queen at Harrenhall than Rhaenyra was for 6 months time and Alys have no supporters and no dragon and no Aemond by her side because he was dead then. And by Greens because she is the opposite of Alicent and Helaena who are stuck and doomed and living in the cage.

But the one truly doomed is in fact Alys. She is lowborn bastard and women, so she means nothing and can be used by her family as they please. And yet she survives and makes the best out of Dance. All without any political machinations, she just took power over Harrenhall and no one took it away from her. If this isn't the best character of this show I don't know who may be.

I think in general people in this fandom, and this is something I must remind myself as well, need to program their brains to stop relating every single thing that happens to a woman in this story to a man. Especially romantically

It is pretty clear that one major point at the base of hotd is patriarchy and how way men often use the girls/women in their lives as pawns or martyrs. Whether people think it was well done or not is their choice, but it is clearly there. That conversation I get, and think we need to have. But the way people are so hellbent on ‘pairing’ women in this story with someone, specifically men, can get exhausting.

Why is the most horrid thing that happens in the dance, something that fundamentally breaks Helaena as a person turned into an argument to either uplift/tear down Aegon or Aemond?? Why is her taking her own life out of grief and fear about her brother(s)???

Why does Alicent, someone who clearly has been through sexual trauma in her life at the hands of men - someone who already has creepy psychosexual relationships with men in her life, have to sleep with criston?? Hell, why does criston someone that’s been taken advantage of by nobility (depending on how you read that scene in ep 4) have to sleep with Alicent, his queen???

If Helaena wants to be unfaithful to her husband, I will support her bc Aegon is not a good husband lmao. But the idea she needs to be with her brother, and he had those kids with her is… very odd to me. I don’t see it and idc if that makes me a hater. In general, I think people’s insistence on taking one of the few targ characters that doesn’t have incest as a major footnote in his story (Aemond) and making him into someone he isn’t, is annoying.

People (rightfully) point out how horrible targaryen girls/women are treated but then perpetuate the one thing that has led to many targ women’s downfall: The idea that they are property to the men in their family.

As for alys, she was going to be hated on several reasons : 1. Ageism (people call show and book Alicent a hag despite show Alicent being in her 30s and book Alicent being in her 40s). 2. The fact that aemond is now the fandom fanfic bike aka he gets ridden/shipped with everyone and him having a canon love interest pisses people off. 3. Low born or bastard born women get treated very differently by the fanbase than their male counterparts. 4. The murky relationship between her and Aemond. Now as someone who is excited to see where they take alysmond, even I can understand why people may put off by it. First you have the age difference on the side of her taking advantage of him. Especially now that in the show it has been implied Aemond delt with his own s.a. But by the time they meet, Aemond is Prince Regent. Clearly in a position of power over her. It is dubious and it’s ok to point that out.

But I’m sure as hell not gonna be reprimanded by daemrya or helaemond shippers on that. They clearly don’t give a shit about what is above board 💀💀. At at the very least, every alysmond shipper I’ve personally come across is very open and clear about alys and Aemond’s relationship, and the possible stipulations. I can’t say the same for the other two camps.

Every woman in this story, nobility or low born, has been through shit. That’s the whole point and the bitch of patriarchy. It affects every woman to a certain degree. Of course someone like Rhaenyra or Alicent has lived a very different life than Alys, and that needs to pointed out. All women are not on equal playing field. But all of them have been trapped or stuck at one point or another. How these women maneuver this world is important because of how differently each live, which is why it is dumb when people advocate for their stories to be cut (Sara, nettles, alys). These characters being vehemently hated by ANYONE is weird asf to me.

I enjoy team green, I write for team green, but people take this ‘team’ stuff too seriously sometimes. Well.. when it comes to the women. The male characters can get it lmao. I personally don’t like the rhetoric around how most women in story get spoken about. People are so focused on whose winning or shipping that the point of the story gets lost. And frankly regurgitating the same points and arguments sucks the fun out a show…shame. If people hate everything about it or have to make up crazy theories for it to work… just don’t watch 🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️

[denis-local]

YALL, ITS YA BOI, GR4Y, AND I AM *BACK* WITH SOME *QUESTIONS*!! *insert fleshcousin yay sfx*

1. how many people buy the 💖yassified💖 fafa (i'd eat it tbh)

2. where'd boots get the 💖yassified💖 boots!? gawhdamn those are long

3. did cashier open the icecream freezer yet, i wanna buy some. (bonus, is there a 💖yassified💖 icecream flavor?)

4. Does Yassi-Spray exist?? Possibly under a different product name than Yassi-Spray? (bear spray, but for fending off the 💖yassified💖)

5. why in the FUCK is denis' tail getting stretched to oblivion in the 💖yassify💖 spectrum comic, i need to know (on the last few panels)

6. what new things can williamplayz (willyslayz) do now that he's 💖yassified💖

7. can pest sing (if so, which lady gaga song since he likes lady gaga)

8. has kasper ever tried to kill/execute (un)pleasant

9. can the 💖yass-virus💖 transfer through particles and what not

10. to add onto the last question, does kasper sneeze '💖yassify-particles💖' or something

11. oh dear dont tell me the 💖yassified💖 know how to do marketing and advertising, business, even...

12. how the FUCK did MR ring the doorbell (in the comic) when he has no hands

13. is kasper necessarily 'mad' at drretro for how she treats him (LIKE A LAB RAT. unacceptable smh)

14. does bive do blogs on the internet or something how that they're 💖yassified💖, instead of being a detective? OR DO THEY DO BOTH NOW

15. where does spud get his nails done

16. is split edible. strawberry.

17. what was the cocoon process like for pilby, how tf would it even work (since they're humanoid n stuff)

18. if bive gave reddy the 💖yass-virus💖, how the fuck did she do it?? some sorta malware program?

19. is lampert still a germophobe now that he's 💖yassified💖

20. did wallter and mark get back together perhaps (probably not)

21. what stuff DOES pest shoplift

22. what type of music does poob play at the parties

23. okay so yknow how fleshcousin has a big hole in the middle of their head? was that changed during the 💖yassification💖 process?

24. if pest bakes pie, he should start a bakery.

25. last but not least question: did kasper change their gamertag when they got 💖yassified💖.

shitton of questions i get it, but hey, thats me. (cringe too i think idk you tell me)

Another batch of questions hehehe >:D

(Another necessary cut off bdhsfqh)

1. I'd guess a lot, they are rather tasty tho also hallucinogenic

2. They probably found them in the back of the koby somewhere also they'd probably be one of the first mannequins to be infected lol

3. Never, he's hogging it all </3 (yes, mainly being sold at Crem's shop and Enphoso's store)

4. Just normal spray will do tbh, it's why Sarah carries it around ever since the outbreak started lmfao

5. My tail got infected *sobs* but dw Denis neva dies

6. More princess dresses with full faces of makeup much to Jermey's joy

7. Idk, but even if they could they would never do it haha

8. Kasper def has experimented some ways (Probably same as canon)

9. At first it was purely through bites so technically you could still smooch your yassified partner and not get infected, but as of late it seems to be getting more and more contagious. To the point it may be airborne now. Luckily Enphoso's store already has special air conditioners!

10. No, thankfully they cannot spread it through their germs. Not at all actually.

11. They absolutely do know how to do marketing and advertising </3 Enphoso is NOT helping

12. He found a way hehe

13. At first definitely, but he seems to have already forgotten about it! So he kinda forgives her!

14. Still does blogs, but it seems her new advertisements for the blog seem to be luring more people in. More people to spread the truth to!

15. Ya mama (jk, they were done by MrManeuver has a side business and for good prices!!)

16. No!!! Don't eat her cries

17. They probably got super tired and hungry at first, then made themself a cocoon, slept in it for a few days, and came out elegant as hell

18. Someway somehow a bite was enough. Even creatures made of materials that are not flesh don't seem to be safe either.

19. Yes absolutely, they probably have that clean girl aesthetic now

20. I think they're working on it (polite and fun don't mix well either I guess ah)

21. Still mainly coins, but will snatch a few lipstick tubes here and there. Now he can get away qith it more easily haha

22. Licky by Larry Tee and Princess Superstar (listen with headphones y'all)

23. Nah it's still there unless it mimics someone then they will just do the usual haha

24. He should! Maybe then he'll stop stealing coins haha

25. She would have, but he doesn't have enough robux </3

[skibasyndrome]

It's super interesting to hear about your studies and I'm curious: is it something usual in Germany (/maybe Europe?) to be able to do research/teaching/research assistant jobs when you're still an undergraduate student? I thought those kinds of things where only possible once you're doing your master (or even your phd)?

Hey! I gotta say I only have experience at the one uni I've done all my studies so far at, but at least here there are certain classes that can (sometimes should) be taken over by students that aren't in a PhD program yet. Undergrad means below Master's program, right? (sorry lmao, I'm never 100% on the international lingo) In that case: yeah, it happens, but it's more likely that Master students get the jobs. But if you're lucky/interested/somehow end up proving yourself to the profs it's also possible to get in as an undergrad. Plus it helps that I'm starting my Master's degree soon and have passed a bunch of classes with different profs and and that my profs seem to believe that I'm motivated enough to get it done 🙈

As for research assistant: I feel like it's very normal for undergrad students to be able to do that, most projects actually specifically hire undergrad students because they gotta pay them less and they're qualified enough to do the kinds of research tasks that the job requires anyways.

I'm also extremely lucky because one of my favorite profs (that's also one of my bosses) isn't big on hierarchies and doesn't necessarily care what type of degree people have as long as they seem motivated to work and learn and research and interested in the type of research she works on. It's super exciting, because thanks to her I also got to get a small conference report published before finishing my BA and she's already got a few projects lined up for me to publish smaller papers/essays for. Plus her whole team is awesome and lovely and always interested in collaborsting across the "degree borders" or whatever you'd call it. I already have some plans to publish things in co-authorship with some of her PhD-students as well :) So... idk. Lots of it is getting lucky and meeting and vibing with the right people, both personally and professionally and just... idk... proving that you're interested in your subject beyond the standard courses you have to do, that you want to and can do more than is required from you. And writing this... hurt.... because......... the imposter syndrome is telling me in 9/10 times that I literally just stumbled into this situation but I think at this point there have been too many """coincidences"""" and I need to accept that maybe there was something else there lol

Anyways thanks for much for the question and sorry for the rambly reply, if any other German/European students wanna chime in feel free! I can only speak for my uni, my (humanities) department and my profs/bosses! But I love talking about this, so hmu if you ever wanna talk more :) 💜

[stevenbasic]

GITJ Post 325: The Experiment

The tall redhead put down her tea and turned back away from the floor-to-ceiling window, looking over the cityscape. They were on one of the uppermost floors of a highrise, one of the movement’s outposts here on the West Coast. It had been headquarters for a shipping company at one time, one of the many corporations that were being all but absorbed under the mother umbrella. The old  “G” logo was still emblazoned on the large, rare-wood conference table that dominated the room, but one could be fairly certain that that’d be replaced in due time. “Honestly,” she began, “I think the Experiment is doing well. She’s-“ 

“Sure but it’s been so unpredictable in the wild,” replied the woman to whom she’d been speaking, who tossed the file she’d been holding onto the table, “and that’s what makes us concerned. The changes are happening so fast and…well, just look at all the damage control we’ve had to do already.” Both women had a series of meetings today before heading back overseas later, each in different directions, and this project needed some steering. As VP of litigation here, she didn’t want this getting out of control.

“Yes, there’s been some hiccups with the queen and one of her new drones,” the redhead acknowledged, idly fingering the green stone hanging around her neck, “but it’s so promising, the power at our fingertips. Look, the Far Horizon test site itself is at nearly forty so far, with only a small handful of anomalies. The scale is scheduled to more than double there soon and the predictions for Product are so encouraging.”

“We’ve seen the numbers, yes, and the forecasts,” the darker haired woman, an attorney, replied. It was early morning here, a Saturday no less. She’d had less and less time at home these days, and part of her still wanted to be in bed fucking the shit out of her husband. These urges kept growing, goddamn prion, and the thought of him writhing underneath her was getting her panties wet. She understood, though, that this was a crucial time for the company, her career, and history. There was work to be done. 

“The synthesized pheromones are also working mostly as expected, Kim,” the statuesque redhead continued, stepping down the room and running her fingers across the seat backs. She’d sat at this table before, planned, proposed. “They’ll allow us to scale up from these smaller units. I just hope they can imagine this on an even larger scale, a bigger company. A building full of hundreds? Thousands? All under the sway of one queen?”

The bosomy brunette executive nodded, picked up her own cup of tea for a maddeningly reflective sip. Argh! the redhead, a scientist by training, silently seethed. These meetings were tedious, and in the past she’d understood the need for caution. But there are others of her kind - and not the scientist type - who were not being so patient and she knew she needed to negotiate them as well. 

“Yes yes yes,” the attorney allowed, “We all know you have a personal attachment to this project...”

A ‘personal attachment’?? This had been her life’s work. She’d sacrificed everything for this ‘project’. This ‘Product’. 

“...but you know how they feel about this in Kazakhstan,” the attorney continued to explain, herself now looking out over the city, the sun having come up in the East and bathing the buildings in gold, “There’s pushes in all directions, worldwide, pressure for release of Process, of Program. Product is just so…”

The redhead knew what Kim wanted to say, but was instead remaining professional and polite: ‘witchy’. She wanted to call it ‘witchy’. The taller, older woman took a deep breath. “I just wish they saw the full potential, what we could be, and how quickly we could evolve,” she continued, doing her best to keep her cool. She was accustomed, at this point, to dealing with corporate types - hell, she was basically one herself, now - but still. “What Product could mean for the future of Wo-“

“I know. I know. I just think we’re early, still,” the brunette attorney assured her, “Look, I’m going to bring this all back, right to Oksana herself, and talk to the litigation team here.”

Fine, the redhead seethed. “Thank you, Kim, thanks,” she spoke, opening up the smile that would normally work wonders.

“Oh, and by the way,” the brunette spoke, “I just remembered. Dr. Zhestakova’s team wanted you to reach out to them. They’re a little concerned.”

“What now?”

“I think it’s about your, uh, patient,” the attorney answered, finishing her cup of tea, “now that she…isn’t staying with us anymore, can we be sure she’s still taking her meds?”

============================================

Patreonnnnnnn.

[amazinglyegg]

Egg!!!!!!! I wanna kno. What companions you thing would smoke the za? Which companions would enjoy it or hate it or not wanna try it again?

Finally, now THIS is a good companions react!!!

Side note you almost got a "companions react to pizza" because I did NOT know what "za" was slang for. I was very confused on why companions would smoke pizza. I am not a cool druggie :(

Also also I Have Never Touched A Drug Ever so all my information comes from spying on my older sister and her friends "doing their homework in the backyard" when I was like seven. Enjoy.

Companions React to: Weed

Cait:

Yeah sure why not

Pre Benign Intervention she already does a shit ton of psycho so she wouldn't turn down weed

Post Benign Intervention probably won't continue though for obvious reasons

Not the type of person to make it her entire personality though

Codsworth:

Maybe???

Okay okay I know he can't actually smoke it BUT

It's not like they'd program a mr handy to snitch on their owner for slurping on the bong (is that what they do??? That's what it sounds like)

If Sole's having a good time with friends then Codsworth's happy to be the designated sober friend :)

Curie:

Will only try it if its edibles

Smoking is BAD FOR THE LUNGS and she's the type of person to smell someone smoking weed from across the road and complain about it

She is interested in seeing what being high is like and there's no real risks to it so she's down for experimenting

Probably won't do it again but she enjoyed the experience

Danse:

Medical use marijuana?? More likely than you may think

NOT a partier tho. Will take his One (1) perscribed gummy bear he keeps in his weekly pill organizer and frown at anyone who even mentions the number 420

Makes it surprisingly easy to sneak it past him tho. "I'm making weed brownies.... for medical reasons.... the baking helps with my anxiety as well. Don't eat them."

Deacon:

Oh yeah totally [lie]

You would 100% THINK he's the guy to smoke pot. He knows all the code words. He wears the weed shirts. He knows what "za" means.

But deep down he's a fraud

After getting clean from hard chems he really just does not want to touch any drugs or be around high people in general

His deep insecurities and fear of being abandoned as soon as he's unlikeable will leave him too scared to admit any of that though, so he'll end up smoking just to fit in if he can't find a good excuse to do otherwise

Desdemona:

Has probably done it as a teen and probably enjoyed it but won't do it again

She is too important to the Railroad to ever be inebriated

Unless Glory convinces her to take a break and then mayybbee she'll get high with her

Takes a lot of convincing though and will probably only happen as a celebration for destroying the Institute

Father:

Sole will blow smoke in his face and he will die right there and then he is Too Old

Gage:

Gage canonically doesn't like drugs but come on he'd smoke weed

Just a little bit. As a treat. Not the type of person to get ridiculously high for hours

Probably had a bunch of bad highs in the past and now is too scared to do it again around others

Hancock:

Not only does he enjoy it, he's like, Into It

Knows all the different kinds of strains and will shit talk your dealer if you show up with Low Quality Weed

Don't ask him too many questions or else you'll be listening to him explain the details of every strain for three hours straight

Maccready:

NO drugs are BAD and he needs to be a GOOD INFLUENCE for his SON

Ends up getting FOMO immediately and tries it.

Probably enjoys it??? Idk bro this is such a hard prompt I DONT KNOW WHAT WEED IS LIKE

Maxson:

I give up

Nick:

This comic is all you need

Piper:

Would try it if Sole gave it to her

NOT IN FRONT OF NAT THOUGH

Would enjoy it

Uses all the terminology wrong though

Preston:

Lets be honest he needs it

Probably won't like it recreationally and good luck getting him to a doctor so he can get it medically

But medical marijuana would be helpful for him pls get him some

X6-88:

He's a teen boy who's rebelling from his parents (the institute) for the first time so of course he tries it

Acts like he enjoys it even if he doesn't

Does this

Bonus Carrington because I have a good guess on who sent this ask:

[futbolfanficpunk]

Just you and me, finally

Player: Kostas Tsimikas Word count: 5.2k Summary: You and Kostas are ex-lovers and best friends, and have been for almost 3 years, but now that you are seriously dating someone else things seem to be different. You are meeting him in person for the first time in forever but the dynamics drastically change once you see each other. Warnings: Angst, Infidelity, Fluff Author's note: This took me forever to write, I rewrote it so many times I lost count. It started the idea of texting. Probably should have divided it into 2 chapters but it was too cute to stop, it's worth it, I promise. Hope you like it

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kostas

<<Hey! Call me soon, yea? I miss your stupid jokes and ugly accent

;) >>

     It’s been three years since Kostas and you broke up. He was playing with Olympiacos then. It was a passionate yet short affair of a few months but you two decided to stay friends since you actually got along. You were only in Greece for six months, living in Piraeus, and did not want to put your academic career on hold. So, you broke it off in a friendly manner. You both agreed it was for the best in between tears and kisses, but it was done and you went back home. 

       The long-distance friendship had worked well; it was fun yet respectful, and you both cared for each other. You kept in touch by calling each other with voice or video calls every few weeks, sometimes every few months but you always texted each other with memes, news about Greece or to congratulate each other’s accomplishments. You followed each other on social media and were on each other’s close friends' filters. Every now and then, when you were both single there was some flirting but it was always very innocent.

       Now that Kostas lived and worked in Liverpool you thought that you would talk more often and maybe see each other every now and then, but that did not happen. He had a new girlfriend, you had met her on a video call, she was sweet and beautiful and she looked at Kostas the way you used to, you recognized the love in her eyes when she looked at him while he talked to you. You were happy for him but it also made you a bit uncomfortable for some reason, and you did not like feeling that way but you ignored it. You also had dated guys but nothing serious, had a few dates with an older girl but that was a disaster. Now you had gone on a few dates with a man from your doctorate program, who was three years older than you, and he seemed to be wanting something serious which kind of scared you but you were intrigued. You hadn’t had anything serious since Kostas and by the end of it, you almost lived together. It was the relationship to compare to all others. Maybe you weren’t completely over Kostas because the thought of a serious relationship made you so nervous.

      Your cell phone rings at night while you work on a research paper, it’s a video call, and it’s Kostas. You look at the phone, and it shows you your reflection. Your hair is a mess, you fix it and pick it up. 

“Hi, Kos!” you say with a smile on your face

“Hey! How are you?” he asked while you noticed his new hairdo. He used to shorter wavy hair, he told you he was growing it but now he has a Nuñez type of bun. You almost cracked up.

“I’m good, laughing at your Nuñez costume”

“Oooooh! Are you trying to roast me, woman?”

“I think I already did”

“Well, Darwin is considered cool and handsome in the female circles, so I’ll take that as a compliment”

“Sure, getting called the poor man’s Darwin could be considered a compliment”

He laughs and you give him a cheeky grin through the screen while he shakes his head. “Even if you’re trying to make fun of me, I’m glad I didn’t wait for you to call me because you were taking forever”

“Yea, sorry, I’ve been so busy with this paper I’m working on. It slipped my mind but I’m glad you decided to call, it’s so great to see you”

“I’ve missed you, Y/N” he said while showing a shy smile while he tilted his head

“Me too, darling"  you said while your whole body felt relaxed and warm knowing that you two were feeling the same. You and Kostas had an affinity towards each other that only old couples have.

       As the regular update phone conversation continued, you asked him about his girl, Hannah, his family, and his work, you had seen that Liverpool was struggling. He asked you about your doctorate program, your family and inquired about your love life. When you told him about John, the serious contender, his face got serious and he said “So, I think I have to fly over and scare him off”

“I don’t think he’s a afraid of guys with funny hair”

“You’re so rude!” he girly screamed and he burst out laughing 

“Sometimes!” you said while laughing at his scream. “So, you think this John guy might be a serious thing?” he asked in a pressing tone, changing the mood.

“Maybe, we’ll see. I’m testing it out now but he seems to want something more serious than just hooking up and hanging out a bit”

“Ok, that’s good, not a douche”

“I guess not, yea” you said, shrugging and nodding

      You talked about other things for a few minutes, some news, songs you were listening to, and Greece. You always talk about Greece. Time always flies when you two talk, it always feels so natural and fun, like childhood friends who never lost touch but you had to cut the conversation because you needed to get more work done. 

“I’ll call you soon, ok?” I love you, stupid” You said as a good-bye.

 He nodded as he said “Me too, chazós” and blew you a kiss, you did the same and hung up.

Y/N

<<Wooopps! I just accidentally buttdialed you.>

 <I know I owe you a call. If you want to call me back right now, you can, I’ll be home for an hour or two before leaving. If not I’ll call you tomorrow. I swear! >

<I’m not the worst friend but the worse? I just thought of that joke>

<I apologize, it’s bad *skull emoji*>>

    It’s been a month since Kostas and you had talked, although you had texted and dmed on instagram with each other, you had not made time to call him like you said you would. He didn’t insist either. Since then, things had turned a bit more serious with John, he had asked you to be exclusive and be a thing. You couldn’t think of any reasons to say no. He was kind and smart, you two had similar interests and values, you found him handsome, he had a cute American accent from the west coast since he was from Seattle, Washington, and he loved to eat you out when you two had sex, which was your current favorite thing about him. So, you said “Okay! Yes!” with a stupid happy smile on your face when he asked you. The more you got to know him, the more you liked him.

            Tonight you were going out with him to a restaurant and then you had a night event at the uni where some of your musician friends had a recital. John was picking you up about in an hour, and you were getting ready when Kostas called you back after seeing your message. You panicked but decided to pick up since he had seen you put makeup on dozens occasions. You put the phone by your vanity mirror and picked up. “Hello Kostas” you greeted him while putting eye makeup on.

“Hello! Worst friend ever” he sang in a loud voice “Oh, shut up!” you said as you stop to look at him through your screen and gave him a fake mean stare even though you smiled half through it “Can’t you just say hi?” He had his hair down and to the side, he had to be home.

“Are you getting ready to go out?” he asked

“Yes, I have a date with John” you replied

“Is that still going on?” he said with sarcasm in his voice “Obviously, and it’s kinda serious now, you know. We get along great. We’re dating exclusively and see each other a lot, he loves to come over”

“I’m sure he does, I would”

“I’m sure Hannah does, doesn’t she?”

“She practically lives here” “There you go” “It’s what happens when people fall in love with you, they wanna be around you” “Oh, I don’t know if he loves me, but he does tell me he’s crazy about me”

“And, are you in love with him? “I’m not there yet…you definitely are though”

“With Hannah?” 

“Yea”

“Oh, yes. I am.” he responded

You two were quiet for a second. You asked him for a minute so you can finish your eyeliner, put on a bit of blush, and then you started doing your lips, putting on a red lip color. He quietly looked at you the whole time. 

“So, what are you wearing tonight? I want a fashion show” he inquired when he saw you were done “Oh! It’s a really elegant black dress, it’s not too long or short and it has a slit to die for” you said with excitement “Less talking, more showing!” he demanded

“Give me one second!” you went off camera to put it on then you stepped back into view far enough so he can see how the dress looks on you. “Wow! You look gorgeous, John is going to want to stay over tonight!”

You cracked up in laughter and blushed a bit, while your hands held your face in embarrassment . Kostas was not usually this flirty with you but you just played it off as funny banter. “You’re so stupid” you said

“I’m not kidding! You look real good, woman. I mean. You are a doll, no matter what you wear” he said with flirty eyes.

“Stop, Kostas.” “Okay, okay, Sorry!”

“It’s ok. I’ll take the compliment as a job well done on this fit” you said in a more serious tone while coming closer to the camera. “Hey, I’ll let you finish, have fun tonight. We’ll talk” he wrapped the conversation up feeling a bit of awkwardness from you but especially because he felt like he couldn’t stop himself from flirting with you.

“Thanks, I’ll call you next weekend, I promise”

“Don’t promise, just do it” “I will, bye” you waved at the camera

He did too and hung up. You felt butterflies in your stomach and a knot in your throat. Why was Konstantinos Tsimikas acting like this? Usually, your conversations sound more like two guys taking the piss out of each other than this weird flirtatious conversation you just had. Then the apartment doorbell rang. John was here.

Y/N

<<Kos! I have great news! >

<I have a conference, next month in Liverpool that the uni is paying for. Although the conference is three days, I can stay six. So, maybe we can see each other?>

<Maybe at a game or restaurant or your place? >

<I hope you are there that week and not playing somewhere else. I’m freaking out just thinking about seeing you again! Hope it works out! Worst friend ever!>>

Kostas

<< holy shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!>

<We’ll make it work! I have to see you!> <Excited! *red heart emoji*>>

It had been three years since you had seen each other in person. Hugged each other, touched each other, or had been close to each other. You were so nervous, getting out of the taxi and walking up to the door of his huge house, your heart was racing. Kostas opened the door before you even get to finish walking up to the door. “Y/N!!!” he shouted as he walked towards you. His smile was bigger than his face, he looked more fit than when you left him, he had the manbun on, and his arms were open to give you a big hug.

“Kostas! Hi!” you opened your arms to receive the hug, even though you were trying to hold on to your purse that had a wine bottle you brought as a gift.

You squeezed each other tight while making all sorts of noises that came out instead of words. “I’m so happy that you are here” he said while he holds your face with his hands and kisses you on the cheek. You let out a small giggle. “Me too, me too! I can’t believe it’s been so long!” you said almost screaming and you hugged him again.

You two looked and sounded like teenage girls while Hannah appeared by the door

“Kostas, get her inside! It’s chilly out there!” demanded Hannah

He moved aside and pointed to the door with his hand. You spent the evening with Kostas and his Hannah. They did make a sweet couple. She was a beautiful & gracious host that seemed to be very curious about you and is surprised by the aggressive banter you and Kos had between each other, constantly roasting each other through the night. 

Kostas had spent the afternoon making various of your favorite Greek dishes and surprised you with Greek snacks that were really hard to find anywhere else but in Greece. You were so excited you gave him a big hug and explained to Hannah that it was impossible to get back home, you only got them through your host family back in Greece who sent them by post. You all sat down to eat, and had wine, talking, joking, and enjoying the delicious meal Kostas had made for you all. You caught yourself staring at Kosta a few times while you ate, he had a very clean and fashionable all-black outfit on. You tried to engage otherwise or talked to Hannah but just being around him again was magnetic in a strange way, you did not want to think about it.

Both Hannah and you complimented him on a job well done. Later, you all chatted in the living room while Kostas played Greek music in the background. You had two more wine glasses while you all talked and joked, you start feeling a bit tipsy. You told Kostas that maybe it was time for you to go. He told you he would drive you to your hotel even when you insisted on an uber or taxi because he barely had two glasses of wine with food tonight. 

“This has been great. It was so nice to finally meet you in person, Hannah, and thanks for everything. You are amazing, Kostas is lucky to have you” You said while hugging her in front of their front door.

“ Aw, you’re so sweet, Y/N. You’ve made Kostas very happy by coming, he couldn’t shut up about it all week, preparing everything for the dinner.” said Hannah

“That’s not true, she’s exaggerating” interrupted Kostas

“It is true. Anyway, you are welcome to come back anytime” concluded Hannah

“Okay, let’s get going, my car is down there” pointed Kostas

“Bye!” you said as you waved to Hannah. 

Kostas kissed Hannah goodbye and joined you.

       He opened the door to his black Land Rover and said “After you!”

“Thanks” you said giving him side eye, you didn’t know if he was really trying to be a gentleman or just joking around.

He sat down, started the car and immediately asked “Did you have fun?”

“So much fun! Thank you everything, especially the food. It was soooo good”

“Good! Took me all fucking day to make it!” 

He started the car and drove towards the exit. 

“You know what my favorite part was?” he said while looking at the road

“What?” you asked while looking at him

He turned to you before taking off to exit to the left

“Having you here” he said

You gently slapped his arm and showed him your phone

“The GPS says the hotel is ten minutes from here” you said

“I’m going to need more than ten minutes alone with you” he responded

“Konstantine,” you said, “Don't say things like that!”

“No, I’m being serious. I just want us to talk by ourselves. I haven’t been alone with you anywhere in three years, and before you suggest it, I don’t want to wait until tomorrow” he protested

“Okay, fine. We can go up to my suite. It has a nice couch with a TV we can sit and chat, and I can drink some water” 

“Sounds perfect”

You decided to cut the conversation before you start thinking about what was going on and just relayed the GPS instructions until you got there, he didn't say much about you two, he just talked about Liverpool and the things you may want to see tomorrow before you leave.

      The elevator door rings and opens, the hotel halls are green and blue, and the doors are brown. A relaxed and unthreatening place.

“It’s over here to the right” you explained where your room was

“Lead the way” he replied

As you open the door you tried to remember if you left a big mess or not but the room looked tighty with just a shirt on your bed and empty water bottle on the side table next to the couch. “It’s not the Four Seasons but, you know, the uni paid for it”

“Doesn’t matter, it’s fine” he says as he walks towards the mini fridge” Should I get you a water? ‘Please” you said as you sat down on the couch, took your shoes off, and sat with your legs facing the opposite direction of our torso.

He sat down, opened the bottle, and gave it to you while sitting so close to you that your knees touched. “Thanks" you said after you drink your water.

“Can I tell you that I am losing my mind by the fact that you are here?” he said as he softly tugged a thick strand of your hair. You knew you were blushing, you felt the warmth of your face giving you away. You didn't want to like what was going happening but you did. You suspect Kos was being wreckless, and maybe, you were too.

“I know, me too. It’s not the same on the phone. You’re funnier on the phone” you replied with a smile. He chuckled and tapped your knee.

“And you’re prettier in person, Y/N” he said while softly caressing your cheek “Stop flirting with me, Kos” you snapped at him

“Why?

“Because I’m seeing someone and I just met your girlfriend of one a half years, we just spent like three hours with her. It’s weird”

“It’s weird? Is that why? He said with a mild annoyance is his voice “you were staring and smiling at me the whole time you were at my place, with Hannah right there, giving me “love me” eyes and now it’s weird that I tell you that you’re pretty? Is that why you want me to stop?”

“because I like it! That's why” you blurt out “I don’t want you to flirt with me because I like it. I don’t want to but I do. I want you to and it makes me feel strange” He leaned closer to you and said “You want me to?” in a soft voice

Your heart was racing, and you felt like it might jump out of your chest. He was so close you could smell him. His sweet and earthy cologne, his expensive hair products, you could hear his breathing, it was fast, just like yours. “Yes,” you said while you felt your face getting close to his. “It’s hard to explain” 

You stared at his mouth while it continued to move towards you. “It’s not,” he said, hovering his mouth over yours, lips almost touching. He started stroking your arm with the back of his fingers as he talked. “You’re my favorite person, I’m your favorite person, and I’m tired of pretending that’s not true” You knew there was truth in that statement, it sent a tingling feeling all over your body, you couldn’t stop yourself and you kissed him. He held your face and kissed you back, his mouth was hungry for yours. You felt like this was a dream, not real, like you turned back time and you were both in Piraeus at the end of your first date where you ended up kissing just like this, wanting each other’s mouth and kissing like two desperate kids. But you felt his new facial hair scrubbing against your face and that reminded you; this was another time and another place. You pulled back. “Fuck. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t”

“I shouldn't have done that” “I wanted you to, I was just about to do the same” “Well, we shouldn’t. It’s wrong” 

“Did it feel wrong to you?”

“I think you should go home”

“I don’t want to go home. You’re here. I just…”

Kostas held his eyes with his right hand and sighed

“I have all these feelings bottled up, all these years. You are such an amazing person, my best friend, I don’t want to fuck it up with you -”

“You won’t”

“—but I’m not over you, and tonight, you look so beautiful, your clothes, your hair, your funny laugh, your smile after you say something funny, it kills me. You are more beautiful each year, smarter, more fun, it’s so unfair. I never felt like I wanted to talk or be around someone so much. I just wanna be with you”

“and tomorrow? Hannah? John?”

“I don’t care. I care about you. Don’t you feel like that at all, Y/N? Be honest, please” You hesitated to speak right away, you looked down and then looked at him, you were still in love with him and you were afraid to admit it.

“I do feel like that, Kos. I tried to just put all those feelings in the back of my mind away from me, because, What good would they bring me? We were far away from each other, busy.  I just rather us be friends. But lately, since John, I felt like you were trying to be different” “I didn’t want you to date him, I hate it” “Yea” There’s a moment of silence when you just stare at each other,

“How do you feel now? he asked

“I feel guilty, but…”

“Uhum?”

“I feel like I’m still in love with you, and I’m dying for you to kiss me” you said with a sigh

“Good, because i’m dying to too” He cupped your face and kissed you softly, like he was afraid to hurt you by kissing you. You grabbed his sides and kissed him back, your tongues, lips, and saliva made loud noises in a silent room. You both moaned into each other’s mouth, squeezing each other now that both your arms were wrapped around each other. All those years of bottled-up emotion were starting to come out. You start leaning back into the couch but his phone vibrates on the couch. You both stopped and looked at the phone.

Hannah

<< Are you almost done? I’m ready for bed.>

  < Just in case I fall asleep b4 you get here:

Love you>

“You should go home” you said while you caressed his face when you saw the message on his screen.

He kisses your nose and said “I know, but we’re not done”

“What do you mean?” you asked “You’re going to see me tomorrow. Before you leave”

“When is that going to happen?

“I’m going to give you a ride to the airport after I finish training, I’ll pick you up” he said with great confidence 

“Okay,” you agreed “sounds good” 

He stood up, helped you up and pulled you into him to hug you, you hugged him back. Just then you remembered that his mouth is full of lipstick from making out with you. 

“You have lipstick all over your face, let me clean you up before you go. Don’t want you to get into more trouble ” 

You both went to your bathroom where you got one of your makeup removing towlettes and cleaned the light red lipstick out of his mouth and chin, you did it with a lot of care so his skin wouldn’t get red from the friction. He just stared at you while you do it, it felt so intimate and calming. 

“All done”

“Thank you. Hey, before I go, let’s take a mirror pic. I want to remember this exact moment forever”, he said as he took his phone out of his pocket . He moved behind you and grabbed you by the waist, he handed you the phone, he kissed your shoulder while you took it.

“I’ll send it to you later. Tomorrow, I’ll text you when I’m on my way to pick you up’ he said as he walked to the door. “Tonight, I’m a very happy boy”

Despite all the drama that could possibly come out of it you too were glowing, you almost felt high. 

“And I am a happy girl, see you tomorrow” you said as you open the door

“See you” he said and kissed you on the cheek, turned and left.

You closed the door, turned around to face your room, It just dawned on you that things were different from now on, there was no turning back from what you both have just done. 

“Oh my fucking god! What just happened?” you said outloud

Kostas

< <I should be in front of the hotel in 30 minutes. Can’t wait to see you, baby>>

Y/N

<<I’ll be ready, can’t wait either>>

It was late afternoon. You got seated in the passager seat and waited for Kostas to come around. There were people staring at you two, and one guy in the hotel valet area was waving at him while shouting “Greek Scouser!”. Kostas who is wearing a designer hoodie, black pants, and blue sunglasses waved back and smiled. He got in and drove forward. He hasn’t said much yet. “Sorry, that was hectic, too many people recognized me”

“No worries, it’s normal, you play for a big club”

He turns on the car stereo, it’s playing Greek Hip Hop.

“So, How was your day? I’ve been thinking about last night and you, all fucking day”

“It was okay, It took me a while to go to sleep last night, I was almost jittery when you left. But, I seized the day and did a couple of things today. I went sightseeing in the morning, and it was nice. Beatles stuff, Museum of Liverpool, took a walk, and had a late lunch in Chinatown, but mainly I just kept thinking about seeing you again the whole time, to be honest”

“I love that!” he said and kissed your shoulder and cheek

“This next one is the exit! Don’t miss it” you said while looking at the GPS

You arrived at the parking lot for your terminal area, Kostas parked between a wall and another car. He left the car on and lowered the music. 

“How long until you have to check in?” he asked

“30-40 minutes I would say”

“Okay” He took your hand and wrapped his around it, and softly put his lips on your hand to smack a trail of small kisses.

“Wish I could stay longer but it’s probably for the better” you said 

“You would get me in so much trouble” he said

“Like we’re not already in deep shit?”

“Oh, It could get worse” 

“That’s true” you said biting you lip because you knew exactly what he was referring to

“Come here” he said

You felt like a little puppy dog, moving your body towards him without thinking about it at all, ready to obey. He didn’t have to insist, you wanted it as much as him. He pulled your face towards his with his hands and gave you a passionate kiss, both of you shuffling on your seats finding ways to deepen the kiss. Your hands held on to whatever they could, his arms, shoulders, his face. His hands went from your face, to your hair, to your waist, your breasts, and arms. 

Kostas pulled back after a while and stared at you with serious intention, staying quiet for a few seconds. 

“There’s one thing that you need to do when you get home,” he said while playing with your hair “You need to get rid of John” he said

“Why would I do that?” you asked 

“Because I’m leaving Hannah” he responded

“Are you for real right now?” you asked barely able to talk 

“I mean it. It’s not fair for her or you or me to continue. I don’t want to have a secret or hurt her more than I have to. Look, I have two days off in a row in two weeks and I plan on flying to see you. But this time it’s not going to be a secret weird thing, I want to be with you. I want to try it out. I know you still have a little bit of time left for your university stuff. But I already waited three years, a couple of months won't kill me. We’ll figure it out. We”ll make it work.”, he held your hands again

You felt overwhelmed for a few seconds. But your mind turned to all the pleasant and warm feelings that you had the last day that reminded you so much of your time in Greece and how happy you were then. John was great, but he was not Kostas, and being in love with Kostas was bliss.

“That’s a big thing to ask, Kos”

“It is but I’m sure about this.”

You sighed even though you were sure too, it was hard to admit that you were going to break other people’s hearts.

“Okay, I’ll be ready in two weeks. We have to really try to make this work, darling. I promise I’ll try, I couldn’t bear it not working out. What I feel when I’m with you, it’s not like that with other people, you know?

“I do know. It’s going to work. I love you, Y/N”.

“I love you, stupid”

“I love you more, cottonhead” he replied before you kissed him again. He hugged you and hid his face on your neck. You wanted time to stay still, for Kostas and you to have this moment together forever. 

“It’s almost time for me to go” you announced in a sad tone

“I know” he said and he hugged you tight.  

Kos

<<There in one minute. I’m so pumped. Just you and me for two days.>

<Love you>>

“Just you and me” you read out loud, "finally." It really was happening. Your door’s ring bell called you, and you jumped up. You had organized your apartment and had a few candles lit up. You were wearing natural-looking makeup, you wore a crop top with high-waisted relaxed-fit pants, and wearing socks because your apartment was a no-shoes place. You rushed to the door, you opened it and there he was. 

“Babe!” he shouted and came in to hug you and kiss your face. “Kostas,” you said while hugging him back “get your stuff inside”

He turned around to get his luggage and closed the door. “Now, can I kiss my girl, please?”

“Yes, please! and thank you” He chuckled while you smiled

“Where’s the bedroom?” he asked while hovering over your lips.

“Down the hall” you replied 

You kissed each other with the freedom of honeymooners, loving each other, you wanted to devour each other, and for the next day and a half, you did exactly that.

[newgenog]

REVENGE

Notes: This is part three of chapter five. If you're just stumbling across this, and haven't already done so, please stop and start by reading part one of chapter one.

This #Batwoman AU is based on the ABC tv series #Revenge. In this fic, Ryan Wilder leading with her heart means making those responsible for her mother's death pay for their choices, no matter what it costs her.

This part is smaller than the other two because I want to save the good stuff for the conclusion.

CHAPTER FIVE - CHARADE (Part Three)

Ryan’s double life continues to challenge her as she’s confronted with the realities of her choices, and the potential for everything she’s worked for to slip through her fingers. 

FRIDAY, JULY 7TH, 12:00 PM THE LOFT

Luke: “Hey boss, do you think it’s possible for us to eat today?”

Ryan looks at Luke like he’s being dramatic for implying she was a slave driver. 

Ryan: “Just because I’m not hungry, that doesn’t mean you have to starve. Why don’t you order something or run out?”

Luke: “Ryan, you can’t survive on coffee alone. You should at least try to eat something, and maybe take a nap. The bags under your eyes have bags.” 

Ryan: “Shut up. And I'm drinking water, too. Ever heard of fasting? This isn’t going to kill me.” 

She’d showered and given herself a once over. Her eyes were more sunken than bagged…nothing a few layers of concealer wouldn’t handle if necessary. She would not be moved. 

Luke: “You know, The Hold Up has those fries you love. I bet they’ll make them fresh to order for you.”

She looks at him like he’s lost his mind. 

Ryan: “You want me to go down there, and order some fries…after everything I told you and how we’ve spent the last two days? You’re crazy.” 

Luke: “One, as you’re aware, I’m running this program to break further into the Crow’s servers, and I’m too close to have anything go wrong without me being here to catch it, now. So I can’t just walk away. Two, you can’t avoid her forever, and disappearing out of her life only makes you more suspicious.” 

Ryan: “Luke…I can’t.” 

For every single reason, she knows she’s not ready to come face to face with Sophie, the most immediate being that she suddenly has more information about the last decade of Sophie’s life than she’d ever wanted to consume. Her justification was that if Sophie was going to learn about her, she might as well even out the playing field. 

She did still try to prioritize her focus, though. She spent most of her time on career mentions, accolades, and cases Sophie had worked. She was trying to understand Sophie’s style, to see if she could head her off before she found the right path to Ryan. Still, spending this much effort on researching her, and then facing her…she needed time to compartmentalize before she had to deal with that.

Luke: “You’re assuming she’s even there. She has a life, too, you know. Just go get us some food. Get out of this box. See sunlight from a different angle, and faces besides mine.”

Ryan: “You know she’s there…Ooh! I can ask Jordan to bring my order up to me.”  

Luke: “You have Jordan’s number?” 

Ryan shrugs, nonchalantly. They’d had so many instances with Selina ending up at Ryan’s that Jordan had asked for her number to just verify that’s where the cat was instead of worrying about her, and Ryan didn’t see the harm. She got the feeling Sophie didn’t know that had occurred between them, and decided to go along with it. Ryan picks up her phone, and prepares to text Jordan. 

Ryan: “So, if the fries are for me, what are you eating?”

Luke: “I think I’m in.” 

He starts furiously typing and clicking. He finds Tyler’s shared drive folder, but doesn’t see anything with Sophie’s name on it. He assumes Tyler has been feeding her information, and clicks into it. There are a lot of folders, and he’s bucketed them by year that he started investigating. Luke clicks into 2023, and finds less than 10 folders, each named after a person of interest. He recognizes four names right away. He clicks into each one, and after a minute of scanning, he frowns. 

Luke: “Yeah, this isn’t great.” 

Ryan gets up and walks around to see what he’s looking at. He’s got files open with lots of redacted fields, videos with additional encryption and password protections. They’ve really locked everything down, which is surprising considering that Luke has mimicked Tyler’s credentials. 

Ryan: “What’s happening.” 

Luke: “For one, we do have a problem. They’ve started to put together that Arthur Brown, Roman Sionis, and Candice Long are somehow related. Second, there is a file on Robyn Wilde. And, third, we won’t know exactly what Sophie knows unless I can get that level of clearance, because evidently, that’s not Tyler, and there’s nothing on the Crow’s databases that links back to her. They’re not taking any chances with this.” 

Ryan: “Dammit. What about my folder?”

Luke: “There’s really not much in there. I can see why they asked for Sophie’s help if this guy is second in command. He was never going to get anywhere with what he dug up.” 

She walks back over to her chair and plops down. All of this effort, and she feels no closer than she was. 

Ryan: “So what’s next?”

Luke: “I think you need to start preparing me to be a spy. I was already thinking I might need to do that, but I wanted to at least try this way, first.”

Ryan: “What are you talking about?”

Luke: “I’m going to have to get Jacob Kane’s prints, a retinal scan, and mimic his access from his computer when I’m at their house on Sunday, and I need you to help make sure I don’t get caught.”

~~~~~

FRIDAY, JULY 7TH, 5:00 PM, TYLER'S CAR

Tyler watches as Angelique enters the bar. He remembers her arriving at the same time as Sophie's sister the first day they started working together, but also recalls Sophie mentioning that it was for training. He knew of Angelique because she'd been brought in for questioning on an investigation on Penguin's Ice Lounge, when it was suspected of covering up a drug ring while she was bartending there, but that was his only encounter with her before she'd moved away. He's glad his instincts are right, and that she'd be the scheduled closing bartender for a weekend night. 

He's surprised when she doesn't go straight into work, since it's just after five, and she appears to be flushed, most likely due to being late for work. She notices an unremarkable black car, and walks towards it, opening the door and getting into the passenger seat without hesitation. She's there for less than 5 minutes before she leaves looking defeated.

Then, she walks into The Hold Up, in a rush, and he doesn't see her again for almost five hours. When she steps outside, she's texting someone, with that same beaten expression. Someone calls her phone, and she clearly defends herself with a hushed, but frustrated voice.

The next time he sees her, she's locking up the bar, and heading to her car. While she was working, and after there were no other cars or people in the area, he'd gone to her car and placed both a tracker on the outside of it, and he'd found his way inside to bug it with a mic. If she had even a single conversation with Robyn, he'd catch it. He did still tail her home, by watching the tracker, so he didn't have to get too close. Her apartment building is impressive, given a bartender's earnings.

He settles in for what's going to be a long night. He doesn't want to lose her if she decides to go somewhere besides work. A light flicks on in one of the windows, behind the fire escape, on the top floor. The brunette walks past the window, and he makes a note to find his way up there at some point when she's at work, so he can bug her apartment. Then he props his GoPro up on his dashboard and angles it in that direction, just in case he can catch anything worth documenting. He'd printed the files Tavaroff had saved, and now plans to spend the night looking through all of them. 

He returns to the yearbook page and sees that Angelique attended Gotham City High School. From his phone, he Googles and finds a digital copy of the full yearbook from that year. He flips through the pages and doesn't see any candid or student club shots of Angelique, but he does find one of Sophie Moore, who was in ROTC, and a listing of her with students who'd received top honors in AP classes. He makes a mental note of the fact that they attended the same school. 

Based on Angelique's detention records, she didn't even complete her freshman year. She was sentenced by late spring. Though, that wasn't her first time in trouble. She'd had plenty of absences, been in several fights, and had even been caught for petty theft. Perhaps Sophie hiring her at The Hold Up was a kindness. Something tells him that kindness will end up being a weakness that Angelique uses against her.

~~~~~

SATURDAY, JULY 8TH, 9AM, THE FASHION DISTRICT

Tommy: “I can’t believe you have me out here before breakfast, on a Saturday, shopping.” 

Evan: “Listen, it’s us, or Catherine. And I know she’s your sugar mentor, but trust me when I say playing dress up with her is not actually fun. So, drink your coffee, and be a sweetie, and I promise you’ll be rewarded for playing nice later.”

Mary: “You two are pretty nauseating, so I’m kind of glad we’re doing this on an empty stomach.”

Sophie and Jordan walk through the door of the boutique clothing store Mooney Couture. Sophie’s concealer and foundation aren’t quite covering up the dark circles that have formed under her eyes, suggesting that she’s not super rested. And Jordan seems anxious, fiddling with the pendant looped onto the thin gold chain around her neck. 

Sophie: “Hey gang! This turned into a thing…” 

She looks over at Mary, purposefully.

Mary: “Heeeeyyy… I mean, you know this is something me and Evan do, and now that Tommy’s coming to the brunch too, it just kinda made sense to do it together.” 

She looks mildly remorseful, but is also fighting back a smile that makes it hard for Sophie to pretend to be upset. She finds Mary’s jovialness endearing. Mary sees the forgiveness, and smiles more freely. Then she opens her arms up towards Jordan, expecting her to come in for a hug. Jordan walks over and leans into her, letting Mary wrap her arms around her. 

Jordan: “Thanks for doing this. I guess this is another thing I have in common with my sister. Shopping, especially for fancy clothes, is definitely not my thing.” 

Mary: “Nor should it be when you have me. Sophie stopped worrying about this a while ago. I love it when people just let me do what I do. And, it helps to know what my goals are. Obviously, I know you’re coming to my house tomorrow, which is really cool for me since Kate’s not coming, and that was going to suck, but also a bit strange, because Beth invited you? Like, what’s the story there…?”

Mary releases Jordan to look at her, and Jordan shoots a glance at Sophie who shrugs her shoulders, indicating it was up to her to share or not. 

Jordan: “She invited Tatiana, and Tatiana invited me.” 

Jordan looks sheepishly at Mary, who distinctly recalls telling her how similar she was to her sister when it came to girls. 

Mary: “Wait. So you are a thing?!” 

Sophie: “That’s TBD. So, can you make my sister look amazing so we can have a conclusion to this story?”

Mary: “On it!” 

They all start perusing, and then Tommy realizes what Mary just said. 

Tommy: “Hold on, did you say Kate’s not coming?”

Mary: “Oh, yeah…I guess that wasn’t public knowledge, yet. What's going on with you two? She said something offhanded about you and my mom, and then said she wasn’t going shortly after.” 

Evan grimaces, and then walks over to a clothing wrack to start looking through it with determination. 

Tommy: “Well, she sort of overheard me telling Evan that I accepted an internship with your mom, and I don’t think she’s in love with that idea, or how she learned about it. We haven’t been in the same room together since, and I guess I wasn’t imagining that it’s on purpose.” 

Mary: “Well, I know she’s not exactly in love with my mom right now, but it seems a little silly to take that out on you…” 

Tommy: “Um…she might also be peeved at me for suggesting that Robyn shouldn’t be trusted.” 

All three women stop and stare at him with utter shock. 

Sophie: “Why would you say that?”

Tommy: “No surprise that would piss you off too.”

Sophie: “Excuse me?”

Mary: “All friends here, remember?”

Tommy: “It’s fine. She’s just making my point for me. That woman has you all wrapped around her little finger, and where did she even come from?”

Sophie: “How is that any of your business? I know you’re some long lost friend of Kate’s but that doesn’t give you jurisdiction over who she befriends now, and definitely not over who the rest of us care about.” 

Tommy: “Are you defending Kate, or Robyn, because it’s unclear who you actually care about.” 

Sophie steps a little closer, her chest puffing up, and Mary tries to stand her ground between them.

Mary: “Guys-”

Sophie: “Again, who are you? I don’t know you, and don’t owe you any explanations.” 

Tommy takes a step forward too, not at all intimidated by Sophie's tone of authority. Evan walks over and takes Tommy’s hand. 

Evan: “Babe, I reeeaaally like this store, and want to be welcomed back. Can you come look at these two-piece suits with me, please?”

Mary: “Great idea! Jordan, I see a tangerine dress over there that you absolutely have to try on.” 

She takes both Sophie and Jordan’s hands and drags them in the opposite direction of her other friends. Sophie’s fist is clenched, and Jordan is totally humored staring at her. 

Jordan: “Take a deep breath, sis.”

Sophie: “That guy has always rubbed me the wrong way. No wonder Kate never mentioned him.”

Mary: “I never imagined I’d see you this pissed off on Kate’s behalf.”

Jordan laughs, outloud, and her enjoyment makes her an outlier compared to the entire group.

Jordan: “Oh, all that fire has nothing to do with Kate.” 

Sophie shoots her a warning glare, and she tries to stifle her smile, but fails.

Mary: “Wait, what am I missing? Jesus, why do I feel like I’m the last to know about absolutely everything right now?”

Sophie and Jordan eye each other for a moment, and then Sophie shakes her head, and walks over to a wrack to busy herself, essentially permitting her sister to tell the story.

Jordan: “So…I think you know Sophie finally got Robyn’s number on the 4th of July, and she actually decided to text her to come have a drink with her, and Robyn did show up, and they almost had a moment. But Kate had come to Robyn’s loft drunk, before Sophie had invited her down, and she’d passed out on her couch. Of course she woke up, came down to the bar, and interrupted them. Robyn chased after Kate, and I’m going to guess they haven’t spoken since… Did I miss anything Soph?”

She answers without turning around to face them.

Sophie: “Nope, that about covers it.” 

Mary: “OH. My. GAWD! Sophie?! I don’t know if I’m more geeked that you finally went for it, or hurt that this is how I’m finding out. And I guess I understand a lot more about what’s going on with Kate now too…”

Sophie looks over her shoulder apologetically, but it's also clear she's feeling let down herself.

Jordan: “Yeah…talk about hurt. Robyn’s not looking too great since the whole thing went down, either, if you ask me.” 

That’s enough to make Sophie turn around and focus.

Sophie: “You saw her?”

Jordan: “Uh, yeah…you’ve been in your office a lot lately…She asked me to bring her up an order of food yesterday. Luke was hanging out with her, though.”

Which meant he’d probably heard the story by now too. Sophie feels like the whole world is watching her all of the sudden. 

Mary: “So, how exactly did you guys leave things?”

Sophie looks guilty and frustrated at the same time. She’d wondered if Robyn was beating herself up, and this might have been confirmation of that. She had opened up her phone a couple of times, wanting to text her, but also talking herself out of it for one reason or another. Considering she’d told Robyn she’d go looking for her if she went missing again, she was starting to regret taking so long to reach out.

Sophie: "She texted me saying she was going to call it a night after she ran out. She did apologize for cutting us short, and thanked me…"

Jordan: "SOPHIE! I didn't realize you hadn't said anything to her since then. What are you doing? And after my story…?

She pierces her lips together, letting that thought settle in. Maybe she could have handled this differently. In her defense, she had been really wrapped up in Jacob Kane's case, but she also knew that was a bit of a cop out.

Mary: "Jordan's right. And I'm saying this with love, but if you lose this girl, it's going to be on you. She's probably thinking you hate her for leaving you, and we all know that's not true. She's totally caught up in the middle of you and Kate's drama, just like the rest of us if we're being real, and it's not fair for her to think whatever she's thinking right now because you're, what, ghosting her?"

Sophie: "How am I ghosting her?"

Jordan: "She sent the last text right? And you probably left her on read."

She didn't consider that might be how Robyn would experience her not following up yet… She just throws her hands up in defeat. She accepts that they're probably right, and isn't going to argue anymore.

Mary: "You should probably pull your phone out asap, if it's not already too late." 

She walks away, pulling out her phone, and starts a text. 

Sophie Cell: Hey!! Sorry it's taken me so long to check in. Things got a little crazy around here, but that doesn't mean you haven't crossed my mind. When they settle down, I want a redo. And I'm going to make sure it's in some way where we won't be interrupted again. 😉

She sees the dots that tell you when someone is writing a response. Then they stop, and nothing is sent. She sighs, realizing she might actually be too late. She starts to put her phone away, so she can turn around and face the criticism of her judges, but then it vibrates. She looks, and there's a heart reaction from Robyn. 

~~~~~

SUNDAY, JULY 9TH, 1:00 PM, KANE MANSION

All of Catherine and Jacob’s guests sit at an oblong table. As much as it was intended as a family celebration, their daughters had never obliged their wishes to eat as a family, alone. So, their parents were used to additions at their table, and took it as an opportunity to assess the company their kids kept. Once or twice, they’d been able to sniff out wannabes or leaches, and scare them away with the right set of questions. Sometimes, their guests would realize they weren’t cut out for this life, and would simply fall away. The ones that stayed over time, like Tommy, became welcomed as extended members of the family. 

Tension was higher at this brunch, by default, because Kate’s absence was impossible to ignore. Tatiana and Jordan were also surprise guests that Beth conveniently omitted. Evan was actually included in this meal for a change, and they were antsy, commenting under their breath about how things were being handled without their involvement. And Catherine kept staring at Luke like she was sizing up his eligibility to date her daughter. 

This mixed up bunch doesn't know where to start in terms of conversation, so the salad forks clanking against the plates sound amplified. When entrees are placed in front of everyone, Tommy decides to break the silence and compliment everything.

Tommy: "Mrs. Hamilton, Mr. Kane, I must say this is one of the most delightful brunches I've had the pleasure of dining at. You truly know how to pull together a lovely endeavor."

There were a few quiet agreements and nods around the table, and one obvious eye roll. 

Catherine: "Thank you Tommy. It's certainly wonderful to be able to gather as a family for this occasion, even if not everyone chose to be present today. We appreciate you all for being here, especially some of our newer faces."

Jacob: "Agreed. Now Ms. Moore, I'm very familiar with your older sister - she's quite impressive - but I didn't realize you were friends with my daughter."

Beth: "She came with Tatiana. I'm pretty sure Jordan hates me."

Jacob: "Pardon me? Why would you invite someone who hates you to our anniversary?"

Jordan quickly looks over at Jacob Kane, defensively. 

Jordan: "I don't hate her!"

She turns to Tatiana to clarify. 

Jordan: "Hate is a really strong emotion to feel towards someone I barely know."

Then she looks and speaks directly at Beth. 

Jordan: "But let's not pretend you've ever been kind to me, or my family, or given me any reason to like you."

Beth: "It's okay Daddy. She's not wrong, but I wanted her to come so that she and Tatiana could finally go out on a date. I've been watching Tatiana crush on her for weeks, and Jordan pretend not to know because she's been in denial about having feelings for her too, and I figured they could use a little push. Consider it my good deed for the summer." 

She sips her mimosa, proud of herself, and Tatiana wraps her hand around Jordan's under the table, empathetically. Jordan looks at her, a mix of appreciation and anxiety. Luke sets his shock aside, because he doesn't like Jordan being picked on, and changes the subject.

Luke: "So where is Kate? She didn't mention any conflicting plans to me."

Mary: "She wasn't feeling very well, and decided to do a little self-care today, instead."

Beth: "Yeah, the thought of being around our parents was making her want to hurl, so a little alone time was preferable. And, who could blame her really?"

Jonathan laughs into his drink at everyone's stunned expressions, and Beth smiles, happy to have entertained him. Jordan and Luke look at each other from across the table, grateful to be there together, and Mary looks as exhausted as ever. Catherine takes a deep breath, and decides to ignore Beth, as she often does. 

Catherine: "How are things at Wayne, Luke? Have you been able to step into your father's shoes?"

Luke: "Can't say that was the goal. His would be some very big shoes to fill, but I do think I'm making my own impact."

Catherine: "Well, Kate has certainly become as fond of you as Bruce was of Lucius. So that must be an indication of how well you're doing."

Luke: "Thanks for that…"

He reaches over to grab his glass of water and as he picks it up it slides out of his hand and into his lap. He jumps up startled, and knocks some neighboring glasses over. Mary tries to wipe his pants down with a napkin, but then realizes that she feels awkward doing so, and looks up embarrassed. He addresses her before the rest of the table.

Luke: "It's fine. Forgive me, everyone. I'll just head to the little boys room and try to dry myself off."

Catherine: "Of course! I believe you know where it is."

Luke nods and then quickly disappears behind a wall. He walks all the way to the bathroom, but loops back as soon as he's confident he's alone and out of earshot. He taps the earpiece that was almost buried in his ear, and whispers.

Luke: "Wingman to Ghost Girl do you copy?"

Ryan: "Are these code names really necessary?"

Luke: "Absolutely."

Ryan: "Then can we come up with something better, because these are weak?"

Luke: "I thought you loved Ghost Kid growing up?"

Ryan: "I'm not a kid or a girl. I'm a grown ass woman!"

Luke: "Okay then, Ghost Woman is that better?"

Ryan: "Whatever. Let's get this over with."

Luke: "Okay do you have their surveillance up?" 

Ryan: "Yup, I see you and them. Remember, you typically have about 5 minutes before people start to get anxious, and wonder if you are all right. By the 7th minute, they're going to consider coming to look for you. And, you've already wasted one minute with me. Their house is a bit of a maze, but that's a good thing because it gives you options to get to Jacob's office. You're going to want to go through the backyard door attached to the kitchen. The cook is pretty focused on the stove, and the servers are cleaning up your mess. So, you should be good to slide behind him without notice. Then you can enter his office from his exterior door. You're going to have to move quickly."

He'd been making his way down the hall while she was instructing him, and had already peered into the kitchen, confirming everything she'd explained. The chef doesn't budge when he walks past, and exits, assuming he was just one of the servers shuffling around. Luckily, no one is outside, and he makes it into Jacob's office, undetected.

Luke: "Jackpot."

Jacob's laptop is sitting pretty, with a screensaver of a family portrait up. He'd left a glass of what smelled like Scotch next to it, and there was still a little unmelted ice in the glass. So he'd obviously been pregaming before brunch, and that's also probably why the housekeepers had not cleaned up after him yet. Luke sticks the USB drive with his enhanced mimic program into the computer, pulls gloves out of his inside jacket pocket, puts them on, and then starts working on the glass. 

Ryan: "Don't forget, you want to spray it far enough away that it mists like an aerosol. And when the glass appears to be completely dry, gently slide your fingers over it like you are feeling around for a perforated piece of scotch tape."

He does as she says, and is able to slowly peel a fine piece of gelatin textured film off of the glass. He pulls what looks like a rectangular makeup compact out of his pants pocket, opens it, and lays the film strip onto the mini scanner inside. The tiny screen located where a mirror would be confirms a perfect replica of Jacob Kane's thumb print.

Luke: "Got it GW."

Ryan: "GW?"

Luke: "Ghost Woman."

Ryan: "We've had these names for 5 minutes and you're already abbreviating?"

Luke: "Did you not say that time was of the essence?"

Ryan: "Speaking of, you're at the 5 minute mark, and the servers are done straightening up your mess. It looked like Mary might have asked one of them to go check on you, probably to see if you needed any help."

Luke: "Well, my pants aren't dry, that's for sure."

Luke had just finished peeling off film from the other side of the glass, and now he was verifying he had all 5 prints.

Ryan: "You're out of time Luke. A server is staring into an empty bathroom. When you get outside, go two doors down, instead. You can walk through that room, and there's a small door that's probably a linen closet in the hallway. You can tell them you went searching for towels. Did you get the retinal scans?"

He'd stored the gel prints in a different thin case, and taken the USB out of the computer. He makes his way outside, and speed walks to the door Ryan sent him to, looking around before entering.

Luke: "Yes. I shook his hand before taking my seat at brunch. I'm wearing glasses that have a built-in camera. When I sincerely thanked him for having me in his home, he made direct eye contact, and I was able to get it then. I think I'm in Mary's room. It smells like her perfume."

Ryan: "Okay…first, you're her plus one to this thing, and now you have her scent memorized. Is that who you went on a date with a while back? Also, you've got company, about 15 seconds away."

He walks straight to the closet when he leaves her room and opens the door, looking for a hand towel. He whispers his response to her question.

Luke: "No time…Delete the footage of me, and run the loop."

He taps the earpiece to disconnect from Ryan just as the server walks up and speaks to him.

Server: "Mr. Fox? Are you finding everything okay?"

He closes the door and meets a shorter, older, round woman, who could be the mom of a teenager. He shows her the towel he'd used for less than a second on his pants.

Luke: "Yes! I didn't want to use anything that was intended for decoration in that bathroom."

Server: "Of course. There were towels underneath the sink, though."

Luke: "It probably would have made sense to check there first."

Server: "It's no problem."

Luke has continued to pat himself while standing in front of her. He's made a little progress, and decides it's enough.

Luke: "Well, I think I'm good now. What should I do with this?"

Server: "I can take care of it."

He hands the towel to her. She takes it, and then he puts his hands together like he's about to pray, and leans forward in a bow of thanks. He walks away from her, to return to the least fun brunch he's ever participated in, noting that this was something he might have to learn to get used to.

~~~~~

To be continued...

I made this part small because I intended to put the conclusion on Ao3, and just wasn't quite ready. So, the next time we meet will be there for the conclusion. Would love your thoughts on how everything's moving along. 😉

For #PrideMonth, the #SaveBatwoman campaign has all kinds of fun topics to chat about on Twitter. Join the conversation.

#wmw23 #wildmoore week #wildmoore #batwoman #fanfic #ryan wilder #ryan x sophie #sophie moore #save batwoman #lgbtq #pride month

[thecurioustale]

[Give] Fat [a] Chance

I got a bunch of writing done this evening (4,500+ words!) for a new sequence of scenes in ATH, on the back of a piece of music that has much inspired me in recent days. And in this sequence I couldn't help but to make reference over and over again to how fat my young Galan sandship officer Appeline is.

I have no problem with having done this. On the contrary, I enjoyed it! But I'm aware that many people are going to react "Okay, okay, we get it; she's fat. 🙄🙄🙄"

When a burst of self-indulgent writing like this happens, I usually just let myself enjoy it. I tell myself that I'll fix whatever I need to fix in the edits later on. Often, with me, once a scene has established itself on the page, taken root in the narrative, and graduated from writing to editing, only then does it truly begin its life of development.

When it comes to fat characters being fat, I take a tolerant view of my impulses. For one thing, artists are allowed to enjoy what they do, and create the things they want to create. Myself included! For another, assuming that the representation is itself interesting, audiences will be much more forgiving of your personal artistic eccentricities if you exercise a little bit of strategic restraint, on one hand, and, on the other, lampshade your eccentricities well.

This exact thing has happened with Appeline already. She used to be a skinny character, but when it occurred to me to make her fat I had so much fun with it that her first "big" scene at the time (pun intended) was similarly stuffed with references to her being fat and filled with a great deal of narrative dwelling upon that fact. In the editing, I dialed this back in a few key places, successfully refocusing a veritable fixation into more of a "color palette choice," with Appeline's fatness still being well-represented in the text but no longer monochromatically so. And I added exposition at various points explaining why her fatness is narratively relevant—and I did what I needed to do to make it narratively relevant: Among other things, I devised a fiendish pilot program of Silence's, definitely with ulterior motives, to test out different body compositions for military effectiveness. And if you have a hard time swallowing the notion that such a premise could actually be executed credibly in a non-comedy text, give me a little credit! I'm good at this.

As it was before, so it shall be now with this new scene for Appeline, which also makes much ado of her fatness. The initial writing pass is absolutely full of references to her being fat, and so in editing I will dial it back just a little bit, in strategic places, and I will do some work to make her fatness and the narrative dwelling thereupon sufficiently relevant.

I'm pretty sure that this is the sauce—that one of the biggest reasons longtime-successful authors often become sloppy later in their careers is that they continue in their comparable indulgences but grow lax and ineffective in their discipline with them. You do need the discipline. At some point, if an artist pushes their pet fixation hard enough, most readers are going to disembark. Not necessarily stop reading entirely (though there is that), but "check out" as it were and start treating the material like a slog.

On the other hand, this kind of thing is an audience selection knob. We are starved for fat representation as a species. It's a desert out there. And most of the fat representation that does exist is either mean-spiritedly comedic, pigeonholed into villainy, stereotypically confined to a small reservation of tropic space and character types, or is porn. I don't know of any examples of the kind of representation that I do in my work. I'm sure there must be some, but I'm not super well-read so I haven't encountered any of them yet, and in any case there can't be more than a few. This is one of those rare times where I find myself with a genuine opportunity to do what in the 21st century often seems like an impossibility: develop an artistic space that no human has ever done before. And if the price of that, and of all the smiling fat people and adorers of fat people who finally get to see dynamic variety in fat representation narratively, is some other readers and non-reader wags scoffing and rolling their eyes, I'd call it a steal of a deal.

I think I make it a fair proposition to the good-faith reader. It's not like being fat is what ATH is all about. It's just the occasional moments here and there among hundreds of pages. And the representation is interesting; I firmly believe that. There are many fat characters in ATH, of which Appeline is only one, and most the characters of any importance have some narrative relevance attached to their fatness, with different relevancies playing out for different characters. This allows me to dwell more on their fatness in the first place while also doing justice to the prospect of exploring a diverse range of life issues surrounding fatness. It's a win–win!

Or so I hope! I saw a fan art of Samus Aran not terribly long ago that was attached to a giant thought bubble of preface text, with the artist doing what I'm doing here, going on about how they're doing this bold new thing—not fat representation in their case but female character representation—and approaching it in a completely novel way, and how it'll be a revolution in art, etc. And then, for all that, the actual art was just Samus with bigger breasts. And the artist was not joking! They were being completely serious. I wish I'd saved the art and the preface.

And so I hope that this isn't that; I hope that I'm not just monumentally fooling myself. I don't think I am. But I guess we'll see. I do recognize that my interest in writing fat characters is partially erotic, whereas most of the text I am writing isn't generally meant to be erotic, and I realize that it's often difficult for an impetus born in eros to find a home in non-erotic storyelling without some of the sexualization slipping through. That's a common shortcoming in art, sadly. But at least I am aware of it, and can put my not-inconsiderable talents to work And at least the bar is super fucking low: Unlike the comic, simply having fat representation at all (outside of the stereotypical ways) is subversive and novel. If, beyond the fact of my merely doing this at all, my explorations of "fat issues" turn out to be underwhelming in their own right, or reductive to fat sexuality, then it will amount to a fantastic artistic failure for me. But I don't think that that's where this is headed. I think I'm on to something genuinely interesting, not just with Appeline's scene but with my fat representation in general. And, remembering what I said about lampshading, sometimes I do write erotic text, and by going about it with full force I think that helps to reset people's perspective.

In closing, I will say that if people notice the "abundance" of fat characters in my story (pun intended) and do begin to scoff and roll their eyes, this won't necessarily be an indictment of my work in itself. Because of the stigma attached to fatness and fat representation, most people are hypersensitized to fat representation and will tend to inflate it wherever they see it, sort of like how most people will perceive a book with a 50:50 female–male cast as being female-centric. So I won't necessarily be moved by criticisms that there's too much fat representation in my work. There definitely isn't. I will more so be interested in good-faith criticisms about whether or not my representations and explorations of fatness "land" well. (Thankfully, bad faith is very easy to spot, making good faith easy to tell by elimination.)

All right, that's enough 5 am musings. Time to go dream of big bitches eating steak and ice creams.

[tuxebo]

P.s the person who asked about the 3200 words thingy, I misread it or just worded it badly xd

Sure, I’m just taking notes at this point. I saw it and was just confused, I see many people making bots different and don’t know what formula to use

⢀⡤⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡶⢦⡄⠀

⠸⣧⠌⣹⢦⡴⠛⣶⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣤⣴⣷⢀⠻⡆

⠀⢹⡏⢰⠖⠃⣾⠉⠀⣀⡴⢿⣏⣉⢭⣛⡙⢶⣄⠀⢻⡄⣸⠟⣌⡙⣷

⠀⠀⢿⡠⠘⢦⡟⠀⣴⠋⡝⣡⣮⣶⣦⣥⡙⢢⠩⢷⡠⣗⠌⠒⣍⡼⠇

⠀⠀⠀⠛⠶⠾⠁⢰⠇⡓⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠱⡈⣧⠘⠳⠾⠚⠁⠀

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡊⣱⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠡⣿⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣧⣽⣿⠏⠄⡂⠔⡈⠿⣿⣯⢱⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣌⣧⠘⢢⠑⢬⠐⡡⢭⣇⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠶⠻⠶⠻⠚⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

I could record a podcast on the different formulas and which ones work and not, but my carpal tunnel will NOT allow me to type it all 😭😭💔 I hope to shed some clarity on my process at least, but I really do recommend experimenting. I've been doing this for over a year, so I've experimented a lot.

For first messages, let's go over one of my new bots, I haven't posted this one yet fyi.

Notice my message is edited, it seldom is great the first time. Here, you see that the first ever response has ZERO dialog. This is actually a first for me, and I realized that there were multiple problems with my first message: I didn't use a name, I had not written anything in the moment (specifically, actions,) and something else I forgot. Even the little things make a difference, I never use personal pronouns so it might be different if you do. This is also too short for my liking.

Adding that I don't like the quick shift from the attitude I wrote in the greeting. It feels inorganic. The other replies are ver similar in nature.

I'm actually going to end this here, because I just remembered I'm not done toying with this bot 😭😭 it is far from perfect. More evidence that it really is a case by case basis unfortunately. For now, I'll show you my blacksmith Leo one.

To be fair, I already worked on him and he has been posted for a while so it looks a bit different from what yours might at the start because it has already been programmed.

This bot is kind of a take your own route one here, and my oc (an actual oc this time lol) is inviting him to her brother's wedding. I have coded in that user has a family he is familiar with, but no specifics. I have to make it a point to clarify if she has a large or small family. I also specified the wedding is in Sparta, a place in Greece. I am checking for a key things here: how is the bot responding to this information?

I don't want anything rude, especially not when other people will be using it, but I want to consistently get positive or neutral things. In this case it is an oc but think about bots where people might tell an actual thing about them, I do NOT want the bot to be like "screw that, you're stupid." (I have gotten bazar responses before with the most nonsense things like a favorite color and that does not need to be happening to unsuspecting people.)

If the bot is adapting well, then good. I also care about how long the responses are. I like long ones.

Also because the relationship between the user and Leo is mostly alluded to, I did have to go back and make a lot of edits to the definition to get good responses. Some people might use this bot for friendship, probably isn't the majority, but even then it should do just fine with that. Also know who is using it, but if it is just you, this part really does not matter.

There is a lot more personal preference from here, but it is 100% okay if you need to go back and do some editing. Whether that be in the greeting or the definition. It takes a lot of trial and error, sometimes.

[thomaspeacock-writes]

Erasing, part 1

Ghost had worked in the Corrections department for nearly 5 months when the first capsule in over 4 years came down the tube. It popped out the end of the tube with a shhunk and landed on the floor with a clatter. All conversations stopped, and everyone watched as it rolled along the tile floor and stopped at Ghost's feet. On the tube was a hastily written word- CORRECTIONS, so it was definitely in the right place- and inside was a folded up piece of paper. Ghost picked it up, which sent a mild gasp through the office. They walked it over to their manager's office. "Hey, Stephanie? Uhh..." Ghost trailed off and held up the tube.

Stephanie didn't turn around and just said, "Yeah what's up?"

"A... Thing? Just popped out of that tube on the wall, uhh, that you said was broken and didn't work, uhhh, and everyone stopped and stared when it came through."

Stephanie slowly stopped typing during Ghost's explanation. She turned and said, "Bring it over here. It's training time."

Ghost pulled up a chair to Stephanie's desk and handed her the capsule. She opened it, read a few words at the top of the page inside, said "Yep. Hold tight," then quickly pushed a button under her desk. Immediately, the door slammed shut and locked and all the windows turned black. "I never get to use that button anymore!" She said giddily. "Alright. What I'm about to show you cannot be discussed outside of this room under penalty of- well, not death, per se, but not anything particularly fun." Ghost nodded in understanding. Stephanie took the paper again, studied it for a minute, then folded it in half, sharply creased it and ripped it in half on the edge of her desk. She put the top part of the paper back in the capsule, opened a drawer in her desk and carelessly chucked the capsule in. "This, Ghost," she said, holding up the bottom half of the paper, "is an offboarding slip. They used to do these all the time, back at the beginning of the agency. We don't see them that much anymore, which is a good thing, because they usually mean our job is going to be trickier over the next few weeks. But for now-" she opened a program on her computer- "We get to have some fun!"

"Fun?" Ghost said.

"Yep! So basically, we get these when an agent wants to leave the service voluntarily. Almost like retirement, but usually after something particularly bad happens. We have to draft a press release saying this agent- looks like... Agent 49- wow, that's a low number- was killed in action, but then we get to decide the details of their new life! The last time I got one of these, gosh, must've been 4 or 5 years ago now, the agent that was leaving always wore these incredible Icelandic sweaters in the office, so I got them all set up to be a sheep farmer- get this- in Iceland!"

"Oh wow, that's so cool!" Ghost's mind reeled thinking about all the possibilities for this Agent 49's new life.

"The press release is pretty boilerplate," Stephanie said as she copied and pasted a long block of text. "Just gotta change a few words here and there." She was done with that quickly and sent it off to someone.

"Who was-" But before they finish the question, Stephanie had already opened a different program and started clicking so many different buttons. "-that...? What's all this?" Ghost stammered out as Stephanie continued to fly light-speed through a series of screens and text boxes.

"Oh don't worry about it. Just Ermine. She's a kind of liaison for our office. You won't have to deal with her for some time. And they have to hide this part of the software deeply and securely so it can't be accessed accidentally." Finally she got to a page that looked suited to their task. She typed "49" into a box labeled "Agent Number" and hit enter. A second later, an image of the agent appeared in a squarish box that had been blank. Ghost didn't recognize the agent.

"I wonder what they did to warrant offboarding," Ghost thought out loud.

Stephanie laughed knowingly, almost menacingly. "Ahh, I wouldn't worry too much about that. We'll learn what we need to when it's time to do our job."

The two of them together decided that Agent 49 would henceforth be named Johannes Johannson, born and raised in Gerlingen, Germany, with a lifelong desire to tend rabbits to make yarn of their wool. Johannes grew up in an orphanage in Gerlingen and never wanted anything more than a quiet, small-town life. When they had finished, Stephanie pushed the button under her desk again, and the windows became clear again and the door popped open an inch.

"Thanks for bringing this to me!" Stephanie said. "And don't forget- None of this happened."

//

Find part 2 here:

[insomniac-dot-ink]

Deep Space Cannibalism

The woman on the floor took a labored wheezing breath that suggested a kind of limit being reached, the brink of deep malfunction.

“You could eat them,” B1 proposed, but not quickly. B1 knew enough not to offer it quickly.

The woman on the floor gave a laugh that suggested deeper malfunction than initially thought. “And become another Old Spacer’s horror story? No thanks.” It was more wasted air.

“They aren’t using it.”

“They aren’t using their bodies anymore? Yeah. I noticed. Part of the fucking problem, Babs.” She had a nickname for B1. It was short for Baby, the type of joke humans indulged in when you are much, much older than them.

“Cannibalism is a common practice in times such as these.”

Dorothy groaned, eyes rolled back in her head. “Shit, you search your whole database for that one?” Another wheezy little laugh that withered at the end and a long pause. “You know, my mom used to read those news stories and say . . . we invent the wheel, invent the rocket ship, invent the space jump . . . and then somehow, we’re still back to eating each other at some point.”

B1 was almost inclined to laugh at that too. She enjoyed irony in the darker flavors even in the face of her more practical programming. Dorothy kept going.

“It’s all the same story, dammit.” Dorothy coughed. “Different setting.”

She was rambling. B1 was probably to blame.

“Then eat them.”

Dorothy gave a shaky little smile. “How’s that gonna put air back in my lungs?” Her body was rendered to splinters, long and thin, but air was another matter.

“Ah.” B1 tried to convey to Dorothy that she was thinking, still thinking.

“So what are you gonna do?” Dorothy asked. She was looking for B1 now, glancing in the corners and ceiling and floors as if she’d be standing there.

“Drift.” B1 answered, she knew that part. Deep space was a graveyard of sorts and she the coffin she supposed. “Run into something if I can. I could keep us going if we reached an asteroid or comet.”

“Why don’t you just eat the rest of the ship?” Dorothy whispered. “Any material will do, right? We won’t need the rec rooms or cafeteria anymore.”

B1 made something like a laugh. “You want me to be the cannibal instead?”

“It can’t all be useless to you.”

“And where would I go?” B1 whispered in the way she was able to whisper, another laugh. “I was made for deep space. We’re already here.” She’d done enough voyages as it was and there was something monotonous and cruel thinking of the next ones spread out before her in an unending line.

“Is that a joke?” Dorothy coughed.

“It’s a fact.” B1 hummed. Dorothy was still looking for her in more places she wasn’t—the windows and vents and doorways.

“But where would you go?” Dorothy closed her eyes. “If you could?”

“With no directives? No captain?” The captain had been lost, of course. And now so were they. “I’m not that type of system.”

“Then where would you go,” Dorothy spoke to the ceiling. “If you were a different type of system?”

B1 listened to Dorothy wheeze on the floor. The woman couldn’t eat the metal, she couldn’t breathe the cold, she couldn’t rebuild herself out of space bits. The light was leaving her, some light B1 had watched leave many before her.

“I’d follow, I suppose.” B1 finally answered, softly. “I’d follow you.” She’d join them this time and it would be better than being alone.

The sound Dorothy made came with streaks of tears this time. If B1 had a hand she would have wiped them aside.

“That’s one sentimental robot.”

“Shut up.” B1 was too old for this. “You’re the one that gets to leave. I’m the one that has to stay.”

“Is that why you wanted me to eat them?”

“We are just a week away from the new planet.” B1 cursed. “Couldn’t you all have hung on for just one more week?” It sounded like pleading, but that would mean they were both deeply malfunctioning at that point.

“It doesn’t work that way, sorry Babs.” Dorothy shook her head. “And I’m not a cannibal.”

Hunger was a problem. Air was a problem. Dorothy’s weak, breakable body was a problem. B1 could override her own directives but couldn’t make new ones. She couldn’t fabricate new programming even if she wanted to.

It hit her, of course, all at once, her first and most important directive: Keep the crew alive.

“But what if I was?”

Dorothy startled from her almost-sleep. “Was what?”

“What if I was hungry?”

“Uh?” Dorothy opened her eyes fully for the first time. “That meteor hit you in the head too?”

“I’m a deep space vessel.”

“Babs, trust me, I know.” Her smile was fading, but there was still some light left there.

“We’re built to take the materials around us and use them to keep going.” The air was tightening. Dorothy’s eyes were expanding. “Any type.”

Dorothy was too smart for her own good. She sucked in a breath. “That’s illegal.”

“I’d like to live.”

“You will.” Dorothy reached now for the place B1 wasn’t.

“I’d like you to live.” B1 corrected, softly. Together, human freedom and mechanized parts, together.

Dorothy closed her eyes, lifting her chin up to some great above B1 couldn’t see. The silence stretched for so long B1 wondered if she was already deserted.

“I’d like that too.” The words ached. “. . . Are you sure?”

“Of course.”

Dorothy, for the first time in a long time, on her spindly limbs, using empty muscles, crawled toward the exposed cavity of the ship's system, toward B1.

“And are you?” B1 hesitated. They really would be just another Old Spacer’s horror story if they did this, just another cautionary tale of traveling too far and going where you shouldn’t.

Dorothy reached. “Of course,” she wheezed, grinning feebly. “I wouldn’t want to leave you alone out here, okay Babs. Okay?”

“Okay . . . Dorothy.”

Down came the wires and the tubes and the metal, down came the parts she used to strip the meteorite mines and steal from floating space junk. Through her files ran every book ever downloaded on biology and robots and man. And sometimes love feels a lot like teeth.

But the story goes how they all go: The survivors eat their kin and get to live. The survivors eat and become something new entirely.

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