#and she’s like ‘ahahaha yeah of course you are and of course I knew that and it wasn’t actually a big deal at all’

[obstinaterixatrix]

head in hands. it really is just

[pandorasprongs]

JAMIE TARTT | call it what you want.

PAIRING: jamie tartt x fem!reader

WORD COUNT: 5.7k

SUMMARY: reader's family comes to visit london and she ends up having to hide her relationship with jamie till the final game of the season.

WARNINGS: language, innuendos

A/N: this is technically a sequel to my comfort crowd story that was my first one about jamie, but it can be read as a standalone too! would recommend reading it first since it gives a little backstory to the garden and reader's past relationship. also, you'll probably be able to tell that i rewatched match scene in the finale for a certain scene AHAHAHA i really wanted to show jamie's more affectionate side, so there's def a few cheesy scenes in here! the title is taken from 'call it what you want' by taylor swift

It's midnight when you hear a knock on your door. Any reasonable person would've ignored it and/or hid in case it was some axe murderer. Of course, you knew it wasn't a murderer, just your boyfriend.

"I thought I said you couldn't stay over tonight?" You say when you open the door to reveal Jamie, whose expression quickly turns into a pouty face.

"I know, but I missed you," You playfully roll your eyes, yet are unable to stop your smile. Christ, he could be annoying, but he could also be pretty sweet. Those two balanced each other out.

"Fine, come in, but you can’t sleep here," You take his hand and bring him inside your flat. He plants a kiss on your temple and the two of you settle down on the couch, which for you was a deserved reward.

The reason why you were up so late despite having to work in the morning was that you had been trying to make your place spotless before your brother and his family came to visit the next day. They had already been in England for a few days but were only coming to London now to visit you and to attend the final Richmond match of the season.

"How's the cleaning going?" Jamie asks, as he wraps one arm around you and reaches for the remote in the other one.

"Took five hours, but at least it’s done." You sigh as you settle closer to Jamie. Even if you had warned him not to come over tonight, you still appreciated his presence.

When you started dating, you never expected the football player to be so clingy, but not even a day after your first date, he was already hanging around you every chance he got.

You couldn’t even hide it from the team because the moment Sam caught the two of you arriving at the clubhouse together, that was it for you guys. They were happy for the two of you, though sometimes too happy, especially whenever you had to call Jamie for a physical and they automatically assumed it was code for something.

"How was practice?"

"Good. The team's having a hard time mastering the start though. The timing's always off," He explains about the surprise goodbye performance they were doing for Ted and Beard. 

They had been planning it from the moment they heard the news the two of them were leaving for Kansas at the end of the season. Well, right after they all finished processing — through crying, screaming, protesting, and the like — the news.

"You guys will do fine," you take the remote from his hand and start looking for a certain movie. "Plus, even if you fuck it up, I’m sure they’ll love it regardless." That gets Jamie to chuckle and you feel the vibrations from his chest.

"How about this? Let's watch the Sound of Music, so you can try and copy one of the von Trapp siblings!" You suggest as you press play on the movie. Jamie doesn't protest and simply wraps his other arm around you too.

You look up at your boyfriend and suddenly feel a pang of guilt. "I'm really sorry,"

You don't need to explain further because Jamie instantly understands. He kisses you on your forehead, "Stop saying that. I know you don't want your family to know you're dating such a talented football player because you're afraid one of them will try and steal me from you."

You remove yourself from Jamie before playfully pushing his head. "Yeah, that's exactly right." The both of you laugh as Jamie pulls you in again.

You had already explained why you were hiding it from them back when you found out they were visiting. You had already been dating Jamie for a couple of months, but not a single person back home knew. 

Most of your family knew about the disastrous way your last relationship ended and you were sure they'd be extra protective about the next guy. As much as you loved being with Jamie and knew he wasn’t that guy anymore, you knew that your football-obsessed family was aware of who he used to be.  Stories of the multiple scandals, hook-ups, and rumors of unsportsmanlike conduct throughout the years were the exact reason you were so afraid to tell them. Those were in the past and you knew that, but you weren’t so sure how to convince your family of that, too. 

Jamie, true to form as the prick he is, completely understood and never tried to pressure you to tell them. He was even the one to tell the whole team that your brother was coming to visit and they had to, in his words, shut the fuck up about your relationship.

This was probably the last night for a few days you two could comfortably spend together, so you didn't really want to force him away. The two of you just sat there watching a Julie Andrews classic where you'd occasionally hear Jamie sing along to the musical numbers.

It was around 2 am when the movie finished and now, he definitely had to go home. Even then, you had a hard time separating yourself from Jamie, but your rational brain was telling you it would be bad for a secret relationship if your family caught him in the apartment.

"See you tomorrow, yeah?" Jamie says as he opens the front door.

Instead of responding, you plant a kiss on his lips, catching him by surprise. He's quick to wrap his arms around your waist as he reciprocates it. You separate and finally, answer him. "Yup, see you tomorrow." Jamie gives you one last hug and a kiss on the cheek before he leaves your apartment. 

You look around your place for a second, seeing if there's anything you need to fix up before tomorrow. Once you assess that it's as clean as it can be, you go to your room and catch some much-needed sleep.

——

When you hear a knock at your door, you drag yourself out of your bed and to the living room. Before you can even twist the doorknob, you hear a voice on the other side, "You should be awake by now!"

"I am!" you respond, as you open the door. You're greeted by the sight of your older brother Frank, your sister-in-law Denise, and their son Gregory.

"Hello, family," you say drowsily, as the three of them envelope you with a hug. Once they let go, you lead them inside your apartment. "How's your vacation so far?"

"Oh, amazing. I get why you moved to Europe," Denise answers, as she looks around your flat. "They have you set up pretty nice here, huh?" She plops down on your couch and pulls Gregory down next to her.

"Yup," you head to the kitchen to make the three of them some drinks. "So, what do you two plan to do while Gregory comes to work with me?" They had already told you ages ago that Gregory wanted to visit the clubhouse badly, but you knew it was also free babysitting.

"Sightseeing mostly," your brother replies, grabbing his cup of tea from you. When you take a seat next to Denise and your nephew, the former leans into you and whispers, "And get into places where 18 and unders can't." 

You chuckle and she plants a kiss on her son's head. As they enjoy their drinks, the three of you start catching up. You steer clear of any questions about relationships and instead focus on you being a physical therapist for a football team.

"Do their feet smell?" Gregory asks and you nod your head.

"Extremely, so always remember to wash your feet, okay?" You reply and the 8-year-old gives you a thumbs up and drinks his hot chocolate.

The topic then shifts to the upcoming final game between Richmond and West Ham. You managed to get the 3 of them tickets, — thank you, Higgins, — which they said was the perfect way to end their trip.

"I'll get you some shirts today, too. Gregory's gonna help me pick them out, yeah?" You turn to your nephew who is more than excited to do so.

"Nice," your brother reacts. "I'd appreciate an Obisanya one."

"Yup, and I want a Colin Hughes one if they're available. And of course, this one here," Denise pulls Gregory into a hug, "wants the captain's jersey."

"Will do," you make a mental note, before excusing yourself to get ready for work. 

You’re freshening up in your bathroom when you hear your nephew call out to you. "Mom's asking if you have an extra blanket!" 

"Check my room!" You hear him go to the room across and as he passes you again, he shouts a quick 'Thank you!'

Once you’re done getting changed, you head back to the living room. All three of them were ready to head out, so you lock up and hail a taxi to the AFC Richmond clubhouse. On the drive there, the seatbelt was practically the only thing stopping Gregory from bouncing up and down in the car. 

When you get there, you find some members of the team along with the Director of Football Operations standing front and center near the entrance of the building. You thank the driver and grab Gregory by the hand. You say goodbye to his parents, and since they’re so excited to have some alone time, they don't even bother looking up at the scene in front of them.

"What's all this?" You say as you approach the entrance. Gregory, despite his excitement, was now walking more cautiously, lagging behind you. When they hear your voice, the team finally settles down.

"Well, a little birdie told me that you'd be bringing someone special to work today and so we decided to assemble the Richmond Welcome Committee for him." You stare at all of them in disbelief and your smile grows wider. You find Jamie in the group, whose smug expression tells you exactly who it was.

"Hello there, Gregory," Higgins turns to your nephew and sticks his hand out, who is still hiding behind you. You move to the side and crouch down next to him, so he feels more at ease.

"Hi," your nephew finally speaks up and shakes his hand. 

Higgins then bends down to the eye level of your nephew. "Welcome to AFC Richmond! We prepared a little gift for you if that's okay."

Gregory nods his head. Higgins and the rest of the team start doing a drumroll and move out of the way to reveal Isaac, with a personalized jersey. You exhale in disbelief and turn to your nephew. 

"What do you say, Greg?" Said nephew was too awestruck by his favorite player to even move. 

After a few seconds, he finally ran up to Isaac and hugged his favorite player. The team captain was now the one in shock, but slowly reciprocated it. Gregory then lets go and accepts the jersey from him. The rest of the team moves to crowd the boy and start talking with him. Almost immediately, your nephew transforms from his former terrified state to the life of the party.

You moved to the side to give them space and thank Higgins, who just shook his head. "It's no problem," he started. "Henry doesn't come here that often anymore, so it was nice to do this for another kid." You smile, before noticing Jamie going toward you.

"And here's the little birdie now," Higgins jokes before excusing himself. You see the team busy entertaining Gregory, so you take the chance to plant a kiss on Jamie's cheek.

"If only the tabloids knew how sweet the striker of AFC Richmond could be." You whisper afterward.

"I know, I'm a great not-boyfriend." He continues to show his smug smirk and before you can reply, you notice that your nephew is starting to look for you.

You put enough distance between you and Jamie to seem platonic, "Greg?" You catch his attention and see him already wearing his jersey over his shirt.

"Can we go inside now?" He asks and you nod your head.

You turn back to the "welcome committee," and thank them. "This was so great." They wave goodbye to the both of you — with Isaac giving Gregory a high-five — as they head to the field for training.

Once you're alone again, Gregory turns to you. "That was so much fun!" You laugh at the boy's reaction as you settle down in your office.

For about 2 hours, you had to deal with the boy asking you about every detail of the papers in front of you. Vitals, size charts, diagrams, he was curious about all of it. A part of you hoped that he'd want to talk about something, anything else, but you soon regret wishing that.

"Auntie (Y/N), is Jamie Tartt your favorite player?" You try and hide your shock at the question. He's 8 years old and it's probably an innocent question.

"Yes, he is." You answer honestly and turn your chair to the treatment table where Gregory was lying down. "Why do you ask?"

"Well, I saw you talking to him earlier." He observes, sitting up and looking like he's about to launch into a whole monologue. "And I saw a lot of his jerseys in your room too, so I thought you must be a fan. But you work here, so are you guys close?"

Maybe you should have closed the closet door before sending him in there. You try and keep your calm. "Kind of. I mean I'm close to all of the players, in a way."

If Gregory thinks anything is off, he doesn't show it. Instead, he nods his head and goes back to his comic book as you continue to work on some reports for the players.

Once you finish, you bring Gregory to watch the morning training. His parents were going to pick him up during lunch, so you only had to keep up the charade for just a little longer. The team was doing a few drills when you got there and Ted spots the two of you approaching. He immediately runs over and greets, "Is this the little guy? Hi, I'm Ted."

What was it with dads and shaking little kid's hands? Gregory, already getting used to meeting such famous football personnel, took his hand and shook it as firmly as an 8-year-old could. Jamie was too busy with his drills to notice you there and you’ve never been more relieved about that.

After spending the next hour watching the game from the stands, it was time for lunch and you headed to the car park to find Frank and Denise. You smile at them and hand off Gregory who started telling his parents about his brand-new personalized kit.

You feel your phone vibrate and take it out to find a message from Jamie. secret boyfriend bought secret lunch for a secret date in your office ;)

You chuckle at the message and send him a quick reply before hearing Gregory mention your name. "Auntie's friends with all the players, especially Jamie Tartt. He's her favorite and they're close."

Oh, this child is going to ruin you. You try and stop yourself from overreacting, though you instead end up letting out an exaggerated laugh. "Yeah, I mentioned him being my favorite player, but he seemed to forget that I said I'm also close with all the players, not just Jamie."

Frank seemed to buy it, but you can tell that Denise was starting to pick up on things. She could always tell when you were lying, even before you left for London. After you had broken up with Matt, it took one call before she realized what happened. So it was only a matter of time till she figured it out, but you had hoped you could delay it till after their trip. You wave to the three of them as their taxi left the car park.

You headed back to your office to find Jamie already devouring his pasta. "Hey, I thought this was supposed to be a date?" His head snaps towards you with noodles still hanging out of his mouth.

"I didn't know how long you'd take and I need my carbs." You roll your eyes as you go to the seat across from him. Jamie puts his plate down and brings out yours.

The two of you start talking about the upcoming game this Sunday, to which you bring up your usual 'night before' ritual.

"I thought your family was gonna stay at your flat that night?" Jamie asks, but you just shrug.

"I'll find a way to escape. No way you're going to the garden without me. I'm your good luck charm, Mr. Tartt." You lean towards the football player and playfully narrow your eyes at him. He breaks into a smile and takes your hand into his.

"Yeah, you are." He says softly, and your smile starts to fade. Jamie would never say it out loud, certainly not in the clubhouse where his teammates could hear him, but his nerves always reached an all-time high before a big game. Even after the Man City match and the talk with his mum, you noticed he still felt uneasy in the days leading up to this one.

He was good at hiding it from most people, but over the months, you figured out the small tells that showed he wasn't feeling his best. That's one of the reasons Dr. Sharon suggested he find a safe space, one where he could collect himself before a game, especially like the game on Sunday.

"Hey," You get him to look back at you and squeeze his hand tighter. "You and the whole team are going to dominate. You've already guaranteed a spot in the Champions League, so you’re set for next season. Plus, your beautiful and frankly, awesome girlfriend is gonna be there in the dugout cheering you on."

Jamie pulls you in for a quick kiss as a thank you before you start to fix up the table. He then suggests a rather inappropriate after-lunch activity — "Ay! Call it a motivational activity," — and you have to physically push him out the door for his afternoon practice.

——

It's the night before the match and you were currently arguing with your brother about the sleeping situation.

"Frank, I'll be fine. There's three of you, it's a king-sized bed, and you know I love couches." This time, he gives in. You watch him disappear into your room and after five minutes, you start heading out.

You go down to find a parked car outside, with its owner leaning on the side of it scrolling through his phone. Since you had dinner with family and he got a drink with Roy, the two of you had planned to meet up later than usual.

"Told you I still knew how to sneak out." You say to him, and the moment his eyes land on you, his expression seems to relax. You approach him and ask, "How was hanging out with Roy?"

"Weird, but good," he answered as the two of you got into the car. "Told me he was proud of me."

"That's nice of him. After all those training sessions and him barging on both our doors early morning, you deserve it." You’re reminded of when Roy came to your flat at 4 am after he realized that Jamie wasn't at his own house, which ended with you scolding the coach about it.

You didn't want to make a big deal of it, but you knew how much Jamie appreciated hearing that from someone he looked up to since childhood. Especially with their history back when Jamie first joined the team.

He continued to tell you about what went down, even mentioning how he convinced Roy to go to Keeley that night and finally ask her out again. Though, he admitted he partly did that was so they could finish earlier and he could see you.

You get to the garden and despite visiting it almost every week, you’re still amazed at its beauty. You remember the first time he brought you there before you were even dating. You had been so touched that Jamie was willing to share this place with you that you ended up kissing him right then and there. 

Ever since then, you ended up going with him before games, even if the two of you would just sit there in silence and simply take in the surroundings. That's exactly what was happening tonight, with you and Jamie sitting on a bench and just observing the garden.

After a while, you took the chance to look at Jamie without him noticing. He was always the most calm here and you could tell it from his side profile alone. His jaw was relaxed, his eyes were closed and he was breathing steadily.

You suddenly get the urge to admit something. "I'll tell Frank and Denise tomorrow." Jamie looks at you as you repeat, "I'm telling them about us tomorrow, after the game."

The football player breaks into a smile, and you can't help but mirror it. If the two of them could only get a glimpse of the Jamie you knew, who was thoughtful, enthusiastic, and truly kind-hearted, they wouldn't even care about all the dumb stories of the past. 

After a little while longer, Jamie drives you home and you give him a quick goodbye kiss before heading back to your flat. You try to be as quiet as possible, turning the knob ever so slowly. You soon realized you didn't have to, as you hear someone clear their throat. You open the door to find Denise sitting on the couch in her pajamas and you freeze. "You went out?"

"Yes," you finally managed to croak out, as you closed the door behind you and leaned on it. "Wanted some fresh air."

"Fresh air? From the car I just saw you get out of?" Denise crosses her arms and you accept defeat. You say nothing as your sister-in-law asks, "Who's the guy?"

"Jamie Tartt," you admit, and her eyes almost pop out of her head.

"Oh shit, you are dating him. I really thought Gregory was just exaggerating things." You roll your eyes and join her on the couch.

You quickly plead, "Please don't tell Frank yet. I promise I’ll tell him after the match. You know, just in case he gets an urge to do bodily harm to my boyfriend."

"Come on, you know he wouldn't actually do that." You tilt your head. She adds, "He probably wouldn't. But fine, I'll keep it from him." You sigh in relief until she starts giving you a look. "So, Jamie Tartt, huh?"

You groan. "Oh God, can we not do this right now? What's wrong with him?"

"Nothing! I just didn't think you'd go for a guy like him. You know, more laidback with a slight douchy vibe."

"He is not a douche!" You're quick to defend Jamie, but now Denise narrows her eyes at you. "Not anymore. He was the one who planned that jersey thing for Greg. Would a douche do something like that?"

"Okay, okay, I believe you. He doesn’t seem like the prick from before." Denise holds her hands up in surrender. "But, I only know that because of how you're acting now." She nudges you on the shoulder and you tilt your head. 

"Look, you just seem happier, lighter. Much better than when you were with Matt. I was never going to admit it, but you should’ve ended things after college. Nothing was too toxic about your relationship, but you always looked like you were holding something back."

It was true. It took a few months of not being with him anymore to realize just how many red flags he had. Yes, he was smart, polite, and always knew exactly what to say, but he was also the first to criticize you when you didn't live up to his “standard.” You had convinced yourself that he was only trying to make you better, but in reality, he was just an ass. 

Being with Jamie is what convinced you of that. He got you out of your comfort zone to enjoy things, without ever making it feel like he was pressuring you. You did the same for him too, and instead of pushing back like Matt always did, Jamie would actually listen to what you had to say and cared what you thought.

You explain all of that to Denise and at the end of it, you're sure she's starting to see why you fell for Jamie in the first place. "I'm glad you're happy." 

You hug your sister-in-law tightly before you both start getting tired. Everyone had to get up early tomorrow, so it was best to get some rest before then.

You're already lying down and tucked into the couch, but you grab your phone and send a quick message to Jamie.

i hope you're sleeping because this is for when you wake up tomorrow. good luck and i know you'll be the best fucking player on the field!

You hit the send button before returning your phone to the table and drifting off to sleep.

——

You had planned on getting to the clubhouse earlier than usual. You had to prepare for the match and your family didn’t want to push through a bunch of people to get to their seats. 

But even then, there was already a crowd around the building. Maybe it was because this was your first time working here with the team making it to the finals, but you've never seen that many AFC Richmond fans present.

You had separated from the three of them once they got their tickets and insisted they could find their seats on their own. Because of all the chaos of getting ready and setting up with the whole crowd, you hadn't gotten a chance to check if Jamie had replied or even look for him.

It was only when Will showed up at the dugout saying that Jamie was looking for you did you see him for the first time today.

"I've been waiting for my good luck kiss," is how he greets you and you can only laugh as you embrace him. He met you outside of the locker room, so you avoided all the whistles and 'oohs' from his teammates. 

You give him a quick kiss before telling him about last night. You could see his relief when he realized that your sister-in-law did approve of him, which you almost felt guilty about. 

Jamie Tartt, world-renowned football player, was nervous about what a relative of yours thought about him. 

"I'll tell Frank later. And, if you guys win the game, maybe he won't come after you and injure your other ankle." You remind him and he chuckles, but your straight face is enough for him to take it seriously.

"Shit. I guess we do have to win." 

After hearing Ted asking everyone to huddle up, you separate from Jamie and the two of you join the crowd inside the locker room. You with the rest of the physical therapists and Jamie with the players.

You had to admit, you were a bit nervous for the game. You knew the team was doing great, but after their crying session right before the match, you were worried they'd be too teary-eyed to make it through. And in the first half, you were right to be. Despite their efforts, West Ham was ahead much to every Richmond supporter’s dismay. 

But after whatever happened in the locker room, they seemed to be picking it up. After those 3 misses, you and the rest of the people in the dugout were ecstatic when Jamie finally scored. 

But then it led to a whole different issue. Now, West Ham was focused on marking Jamie. From both a personal and professional standpoint, you were worried. Jamie's ankle could still easily be injured after what happened at Man City and Richmond would lose what was called "their central cog." 

You were grasping your medical bag as the game continued, ready at any moment to rush over there. You flinched when Jamie fell to the ground, but when the referee called for a penalty, you knew this was one of his tricks and you sighed in relief. 

He looks at you with one of his signature smirks as he's pulled up by Sam. You playfully shake your head and roll your eyes, as the teams get ready for the kick.

And thank God Isaac was able to get it in the net. Well, through it? You could feel Gregory's excitement over it, even if you weren't sure where they were in the crowd.

After eavesdropping on Rupert Mannion ordering his manager to "take out" Jamie, you felt a lump forming in your throat. But at least George still had some integrity, even if you ended up seeing his balls after he gets pushed. As Rupert got heckled off the pitch, Jamie catches your eyes.

He notices your worried expression and gives you a reassuring look. It was his way of saying "Don't worry, you think they can take me out?" You not as the players head back onto the field.

Even then, the players were completely boxing Jamie in, but you watched as Ted signaled a strategy for the free kick which they seem to understand quickly. Jamie's trying everything to get Bumbercatch's attention, but the moment he sends it Sam's way, you know exactly what's going on.

"Go, go, go," You whisper, on the edge of your seat. You're squeezing Will's arm a little too tight, but even he is too immersed in the game to care.

Sam gets the ball in and the whole stadium erupts in cheers. You wait, but when the final whistle was blown, you and Will start celebrating too. The whole team starts running onto the pitch and at that point, you weren't thinking. 

The moment your eyes landed on Jamie, you were running across the pitch towards him. He catches you in his arms and pulls you into a kiss. You deepen it as if you weren't surrounded by thousands of people right then and there.

You break apart for a split second to say, "You guys absolutely smashed it. I knew you would win." 

He pulls you back for another kiss, before smiling against your lips. "You aren't worried about your brother seeing us?"

The thought hadn't occurred to you at that moment, but you try and find them in the crowd, still not removing yourself from Jamie's grasp. With all the chaos, you give up and just shrug it off, turning back to the football player. 

"I don't really care anymore." You admit as you laugh.

Jamie pulls you into a hug and spins you around in the air. You laugh and hold onto him tightly. When he puts you down, you find your family coming toward the two of you. Frank is the only one who seemed shocked by this whole ordeal, with Denise simply smirking and Gregory being distracted by all the people celebrating on the field.

"Right, hi Frank," you start and you slide your hand down from his arm to intertwine it with Jamie's hand to steady yourself. "Did I forget to tell you I have a boyfriend now?"

"Yeah, I don't think it's come up, no," He replies.

Jamie takes a step forward and stretches his other arm for a handshake. "Hello, it's nice to meet you. I'm Jamie—"

"Jamie Tartt, yes." Your brother firmly grasps his hand. "I know who you are." Jamie's legs buckle slightly at Frank's strength, but Denise puts a warning hand on her husband's shoulder.

"Not too hard, honey." which prompts Frank to finally let go of Jamie.

It's a few minutes of silence, — well, as quiet as a celebrating football stadium could be — before you finally try and escape the situation. "Maybe we should let Jamie celebrate with his team!"

"Yes, of course! Congratulations, Jamie! You guys did amazing." Denise says, causing Jamie to flash a genuine smile.

"Yes, you and your team did great," Frank adds on, notably less enthusiastic. "Especially with that last shot from Obisanya." Of course, he had to add his favorite player to this.

You try and pull Jamie away to bring him to his celebrating team, but your brother pulls him into a hug, forcing you to let go of Jamie's hand. You watch Frank whisper something in his ear, before letting go. He then says out loud, "Congratulations on making the Champions League. Can't wait to see you guys play next season."

All Jamie can do is nod in gratitude, as he seems to still be processing what happened before that. You decide to thank him on your boyfriend's behalf.

"See you guys later!" You say to your family as you bring Jamie away from them, his expression slightly worrying you. Once you put a safe amount of distance between them, you whisper, "What did he say?"

"Nothing," Jamie pursed his lips. "Just that he'd make my life a living hell and find a way to ruin my career if I broke your heart." He laughs it off, but you can hear a slight shakiness in his voice.

"Alright then," you interlock your arms with Jamie's, but neither confirm nor deny the truth in his statement.

"That was a joke, right?" Jamie tries to ask but you just shrug. His face almost turns white, but you laugh and instead, he playfully narrows his eyes at you. "That's not funny."

"Well, I’m pretty sure you aren't going to break my heart, so you'll never have to find out. You plant a kiss on his cheek and remove yourself from him. “Now go, celebrate your win!" 

You push him to the rest of his teammates, who are in the middle of celebrating, but he's quick to grab your arm and pull you close. "I know how I want to celebrate this win." He moves in for yet another kiss.

You briefly wonder if this is being televised and if it might be how all your friends and family back home find out, but you'd deal with that later. Right now, it's just you and Jamie. 

And you've always wanted that celebratory field kiss.

[the-weeping-author]

Saving Grace

This was a request made by @takingchences

Request: something where Bakugou saves the reader.

Word count: 2,263

Warnings: none

A/N: I enjoyed writing this request sorry it took me so so long, also sorry if the title is horrible for this fic I could t think of anything better so here we are ahahaha. Anyways please enjoy haha I’m rambling at this point 😅

Please enjoy 😊

It was a slow morning here in Musutafu, the sun had just risen to wish the earth a good morning. The birds were singing their lovely toon, my mother was taking me to her job today. On the way there we stopped and got some coffee. Well, my mom got a coffee. I got a cappuccino, but that was only because my mom said she didn’t want it to affect my studies. However something was off, there weren’t many people starting their day. Yeah it was four thirty in the morning, but that’s when office workers went in.. right?

I noticed it when we were two blocks away from my mothers job, the air seemed very different now than it did a few moments ago. I looked at my mother as she walked down the sidewalk, and before I knew it I stopped walking. My mother instantly noticed my hesitation which caused her to stop as well, she turned her head towards me before smiling softly.

“Y/N why did you stop walking, what’s going on?”

I immediately wanted to respond to her, but instead I shook my head at her question. Using the opportunity to catch up to her, once I caught up to her I looked at her again.

“Oh well uh- the air changed, it feels thicker it’s making the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.”

Her eyes shined at me before she let out a small chuckle, and ruffled my hair softly.

“Oh honey there’s no reason to feel like that, you’ve been to my office a few times before there’s no need to worry everything will be fine.”

“I know mom, it’s not that I’m worried, it’s just something about today feels off.”

My mother stopped walking, she then turned to face me. Her usual neutral aura shifted into a calming assuring one, she ruffled my hair softly before letting out a sigh.

“I promise kiddo everything will be fine, if you continue to have this feeling after being at the office for a while then I’ll just call it an early day.. okay?”

I bit my bottom lip softly, and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. I adjusted the bag on my arm before I looked ahead at all the people crowding the streets, I took a few short breaths before letting them out.

“I know mom, you always have my best interest in mind. I promise you’ll be the first to know if something’s going down.”

My mother nodded her head with contentment, then continued to walk down the sidewalk with me quickly following behind her. We walked for what seemed like hours, but it was probably only minutes that passed. As we approached the tall building that was my mothers workplace, my stomach knotted up. I looked towards my mother as she put her hand on my shoulder patting it softly.

Seeing her reassuring smile eased the worry out of my mind. Once we walked through the lobby doors we went to the elevators waiting on it to arrive, once it did my mother hit the button that would take us to the floor she worked on. On the way up I turned around watching the street grow smaller and smaller the higher we got, the elevators dinging pulled me from being up in the clouds and back to my mothers overly boring job.

She spent the day sitting at her cubicle doing paperwork, my mother seemed busy so of course I wasn’t going to bother her. Instead I went to the breakroom to grab water from the refrigerator, that’s when everything seemed to happen all at once. An echoing boom sounded, and the office shook softly. The once silent office was now buzzing with what seemed to be panic, I shoved the break room door open to only hear screeching in my ears.

I knew instantly that we were under attack, despite the fact that I could barely hear, I still searched for my mother. As I arrived at the cubicle dread filled my entire body, where was my mother? The dread I once felt immediately turned into fear. I quickly turned around, and started planning my escape route. My eyes settled on the elevators, and that’s when everything went radio silent. I didn’t let that stop my quickly thought out plan, I made them my new destination.

I knew about villains, but I never had an encounter with one. Well that was until now apparently, but I didn’t see anyone in sight. When I got closer to the elevators the building shook once more, and another loud boom went off making me unbalanced, and I immediately fell to my knees. This time a chunk of the building was gone, and it was the floor I was on. Glass flew all over the floor I was currently on, and the debris along with dust finally settled. That's when I heard it, well her, my mothers voice however this time it sounded different than earlier.

There was no assurance, no comfort, the only thing that seemed recognizable was panic. I tried to call out to her, but I couldn’t speak. My mouth was abnormally dry, like something was blocking my vocal cords. That’s when I hear it, a loud menacing crack. My eyes followed the crack as it traveled throughout the floor I was on. When it stopped at the exposed wall my heart dropped, I finally stood back up on shaky knees after what seemed like a few minutes while I controlled my breathing.

When I got myself as calm as I could, that's when everything went from bad to worse, the foundation under me cracked this time. The vibrations from the constant attacks made my hands tremble, and that’s when I felt it. The floor under me was slowly caving in, tears started to fill my eyes. Time seemed to zip past in that moment, and I squeezed my eyes shut trying to make some logic out of my fearful mind.

My mind went blank as the breaking building filled my ears, and the floor slowly started to lean downwards towards the pavement. Instinctively I got on my knees and started to crawl to the side of the building untouched. I slowly made my way towards a sturdy desk near the elevators, and before my fingers could make contact with the leg of the desk the floor gave away.

The air flying past me made it hard to hear, or see anything. I quickly accepted my new founding fate, and started sobbing as I flew down the nine story building. It’s funny how much you can accept when staring death straight in the face, I waited for my body to make impact with the ground. I heard a loud boom, and felt my body jerk to the side. I let out a soft grunt, and my eyes fluttered open softly. That’s when I saw it, my guardian angel I smiled softly before allowing the dark to consume me.

~~~

My eyes shot open, and I immediately looked up at the ceiling. W-what happened? My mouth was dry, and my throat felt really scratchy. I went to sit up only to feel a quick sharp pain shoot in and up my right side. I winced immediately, and sat backwards. The door opened, and my mothers figure stepped into the room. She noticed instantly that I was awake, and rushed to my side. Her warm hand instinctively found mine, and I smiled softly at her.

“H- *cough* H-hi *Cough cough* momma.”

She smiled sympathetically at me before she started sobbing, rubbing my back softly.

“Oh my sweet Y/N, I don’t know what I would have done if I lost you. I'm so sorry.”

When I pulled away from her, that's when I got a good look at her. Her e/c eyes were bloodshot, she had dark circles under her eyes, and her hair looked crazy.

“M-mom w-what happened?”

She tensed up at my question, and she swallowed thickly before letting out a shaky breath.

“W-well honey.. villains ended up attacking the office, the reason for it is because we’ve been holding onto some kind of information for Endeavors agency. They should have known it was a risky thing to do, and now I hope they do. That information almost got us all killed, and no one knew a thing about it.”

I nodded my head at the information, and turned my head to the hospital door as it opened. The lady who I assumed to be my nurse smiled widely at me, and started checking my vitals.

“Well well, I’ve been waiting for you to wake up sleepy head. Now I need you to slowly sit up for me, but please be careful two of your ribs are bruised. However there are two that are cracked, you may also have a hard time speaking and breathing for an hour or so due to all the smoke, and debris. I’m gonna need you to take your medicine.”

I nodded my head at my nurse as she continued to tell me my injuries, and then a face flashed back into my mind making my heart pick up. I turned my head towards my mom before smiling at her.

“H-how did I get saved? The last thing I remembered and saw was falling from the building, and my guardian angel.”

My mom smiled sweetly at me, and grabbed my hand once more stroking it with her thumb. Before I could ask anymore questions the hospital door busted open once more, but this time it was a guy. A cute guy if I may say so myself, but confusion etched its way onto my face. I turned to look towards my mom once more before she stood up kissing my forehead.

“There’s your guardian angel sweetheart.”

My eyes widened, and my cheeks turned a soft shade of red. I quickly took in his features, His beautiful rose colored eyes, his seemingly soft skin, and his lips which were now turned into a small smirk at my obvious oggiling.

My mom left us alone for a minute, and as soon as she left it was extremely awkward. The unknown hero shoved his hands in his pockets and looked everywhere but at me so I decided to break the silence.

“T-Thank you for uhh… saving me.”

I watched his cheeks turn a light pink before he started to rub his neck.

“Tch there’s no need to thank me idiot, it's a part of the job.”

My mouth opened and closed at his response.. idiot? How dare he, I’m not the brightest in the country however I’m far from an idiot.

“You thought I was your guardian angel huh?”

This time it was my turn to flush at his comment, he wasn't supposed to know I said that.

“Well who can blame me, I was staring death in the face.”

My comment made his sly smile disappear, and the sudden feeling to see it again was instant in my gut. Pinch me now because this all feels surreal, a handsome hero saved his Dansville in distress his job was done.

“So why is he still here?”

“Bakugou, my name is Bakugou Katsuki.”

“My names Y/L/N, Y/N/ it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Don’t tell anyone I said this, but I’m glad I could be your guardian angel.”

I smiled softly at him, and hummed softly. The medicine going into my arm made me a little bit bolder than I usually would be.

“I know you probably hear this often since you save people for a living, but you’re really attractive no wait you’re unfairly attractive.”

He coughed loudly, and turned his face away ahh now it was his turn to be bashful.

“Uh uhm t-thanks, you are too.”

I hummed to myself absentmindedly, and played with the sheets on the hospital mattress. The only sounds that filled the chilled room were the soft beeps of the heart monitor, and the tv playing in the background.

I laid against the soft chilled pillows the hospital provided, and looked back at the guy who just hours ago saved me. My mother walking back in the room broke the comfort silence we had built. He looked at her, then to me before nodding his head.

“Alright, it was a pleasure talking to you both. I’m afraid I have to get back to the agency I'm interning at.”

My mom smiled widely while I pouted softly, before he could leave she stopped him.

“Why don’t you come over to our house for dinner?”

He nodded his head softly before pulling out what I assumed was the agency he was currently at. Bakugou walked to the hospital door, and then opened it. He stood in the doorway, but before he left he turned back to look at my mother.

“I’ll come, but only if you allow her to come by the agency.”

She gasped excitedly, and before I could even reply she did it for me.

“Of course she would love to! Besides I’m sure she’d like to get to know the boy who saved her life. How does next Thursday at 7 o’ clock?”

Bakugou's eyes stayed glued to mine while he responded to my mother. That sly little smirk found its way back onto his face.

Sounds like a date.”

A/N: thank you so so much for reading, I know I haven’t posted in a while.. however I hope that’s gonna be changing soon. I am currently working on 3 other fics so I’m hoping those will be done soon.

@wolphielautz @explosionkatsu @hauntedparadises @pastelbakugou

[maria-ruta]

22. and 49. for all three! :D

I just DID NOT have time to sit and properly answer this, bc its such a big question for many characters! but today my classes are dismissed due to the storm so HERE WE GO

Ronya, Blueberry and Veronica!

22. What simple activity that most people do / can do scares your character?

Ronya - I'd say it was magic. Not like most people can do it but lot of people in fantasy setting can though. But throughout the game she had to put up with a lot of magical stuff and got involved too so she got used to... But something more mundane? I'd say getting to dentist or getting teeth removed or see others getting teeth removed or seeing removed teeth - puts her in big unease. That's because after Nabassu demon killed eveyone in her village, it was bringing her ripped out goblin teeth as a gift for some time, when she was sleeping. I think she still has trigger for that kind of thing

Blueberry - some kind of serious fancy dinners/tea parties where you have to be all polite, good manners etc make his stomach curl and sweat nervously. He remembers all kind of fancy danning he had to attend when he still was part of lumeris society and how many times he failed them missarably or just sat there silently, prettending he's not there. He is also bad at negotiating (even though now he has to do it sometimes)

Veronica - I have troubles thinking of something specific - it is a complex and interesting question... but its hard for me to think of anything

okay lets say - sunbathing ahahaha lol. but thats what HUMANS can easily do

I'm trying to think of something that would be simple activity for most vampires but not for Veronica and hm... She has tabo on drinking blood from kids and teens, but not because she's scared of them of course. But because she is scared to hurt them. She strictly feeds only on adults. Acidentally drinking kid's blood can put her in frenzy state

49. Would they eat something they find gross to be polite?

Ronya - No. hahaha

she would be like "urgh. I'm not eating that"

BUT if she specifically want to try to be polite

and she will not elaborate. X) (feat. bard Mao, character of my friend Kate, who knew the etiquette very well and was good at negotiations and such)

Blueberry - yeah he would, but he would look soooo missarable while doing so hahaha

like a pathetic kicked puppy

and if its some kind of fancy dinner too - oh well rip (look up the question and answer above lol)

Veronica - OHOHOHOO now thats an interesting topic to discuss! Overall - yes, Veronica is the type that would do that (also she's a people pleaser)

BUT! she is a vampire, and she doesn't have merit for eating food, like some of her vamp friends, like Charlie or Johny. So if she eats human food she will puke almost instantly (or would have to spend her blood energy to bear it). So she would avoid eating human food at any cost (she has so many made up excuses, from lying she has allergy or diet or recently visiting a dentist etc). BUT she doesn't find human food desgusting.. she still likes how it looks and smells - she just knows that its poisonos for her bc shes a vamp.

Though the question is specificall about eating something, that character finds disgusting - what could it be? In Veronica's case we are talking about blood. It's not a secret that packaged blood taste worse than FRESHHH one, but Veronica is used to drinking it from time to time, so she doesn't find it gross

What would she find gross and digusting though? The animal blood of course! She had to drink it few times I think, during her anarch phase, when she was traveling around usa - not only it tastes horrible, but she always felt bad for the animals too (to get at least one point of blood energy, vampire has to drink the whole animal's blood, obviously killing it)

So let's say Rene gave Veronica a mission to visit some other city and negotiate with some nosferatu from this city (Rene is the nosferatu with yellow crocodile eyes and crocodile scales, also he is the head of Veronica's coterie and in future he will become the prince of New Orleans, and Veronica's elysium is patronized by him too btw. He bought the building for it, and Veronica was renovating and furnituring it herself. I drew Rene here, here and here. He is also a character of my friend Kate haha)

And so Veronica comes to visit those nosferatus, and they offer her the best and most fresh rat blood they have (it's hard for nosferatu to hunt humans since they don't look too humane, and drinking animal blood is regular to most of them, since they also don't have as much problems with drinking it as other types of vampires).

This offer is also kind of a test to see how serious are Veronica's intention and aslo is a little bit of trolling bc it's fun to see if cute pretty toreador girl would do in such situation

But of course Veronica would accept the offer and drink it and even big chance that she would be able to hold a straight face during it (she isn't too worryied about it being poisonned or with something else bad added there because only an idiot would want to anger Rene tbh)

like

Veronica: mmm! such an interesting flavor too!

Nosferatu: of course! ^_^ we got those specimens just recently, from kindred who breeds them with a big blood lump growing on them! :D

Veronica: oh! how smart! very convinient "screaming inside her head"

Thank you for such great questions! here is a link to the whole questions list, in case anyone wanna ask more

[junee-e]

A NEW PENUMBRA EPISODE HAS RISEN!!!! TIME TO THROW MY THOUGHTS INTO THE ABYSS!!!! random thoughts and ramblings follow :D

I AM SO READY FOR DETECTIVE RITA YOU HAVE NO IDEA

OH SHIT WILL SHE BE NARRATING PLEASE TELL ME SHES NARRATING

HER DETECTIVE VOICE IS SO FUN IM SO DEAD

why is she better at this than juno this is going so much better than his attempt

‘WATCH THIS’ * keyboard tapping noises* (i love her)

of course she gets paid in cereal i dont know what i expected

oh ok no junos still narrating

‘THE MAN I LOVED WAS ON THE LINE’ (this will never get old for me)

‘my name is juno steel and *usually* im the private eye’ i am enjoying this way too much

ok why do i love skipper they’re so fun?

‘he just ruins the *peaceful vibes*’ so real so real

HE TOOK THE FUCKING FLOWERS I SWEAR TO GOD

rita. had. dinner with them. oh my god. she is the best.

the mother speaking for the grandfather in like such an annoyed voice and then being so calm with ‘or so father says’ is so funny to me

skippers so dramatic i love them

‘SHUT UP DEAREST’ LMAOO

ooooooo did skipper help nureyev?? wait no thats too obvious….or it is just obvious enough to be right????…..no its isnt….or is it???? (im going insane)

‘he makes friends or.. more than friends and he uses those connections to his advantage’ OH SHIT (skipper???? skipper?? skipper kinda makes sense???) (but like yknow…obvious option)

‘watch skippers reaction in particular’ AHAHA!

OOOO ARE WE GONNA GET RITA NUREYEV INTERACTIONS PLEASE OH MY GOD

‘mostly i was thinking about nureyev’ *cue me falling off my chair at the instant romantic soundtrack that apparently follows nureyev’s name everywhere now*

roomantiic moonoolougueee tiimmee

GRIMMS MASK EPISDOE CALL BACK OH I AM NOT READY

‘another love’ ITS FOR HIS JOB ISNT IT ISTG

OH ITS FOR FUCKING HYPERION CITY OHHHHH SHIT

why does this remind me of the monolouge at the end of final resting place (end of the first season)

‘it wasnt a very nice city but hell im not a very nice lady’ vs ‘this is my city. im not proud of it but that doesnt mean its not worth saving’

there are so many things this season that are setting up to be broken (probably not the right word) but like so many things that have potential for a really sad/angsty pay off. like nureyev and slip or juno telling nureyev he’ll keep following him untl he says he doesnt want him to. or juno and missing hyperion city. i’m so scared.

oh ritas so dramatic its making me so happy

HE TOOK THE ORCHIDS !!!!!

ITS THE MOTHER????

of course she had an inflatable couch in her hideout spot

ooooo its juno detective-ing explain-ing time

juno obsessing over detective stuff is so fun

a CoNfEsSiOn

‘im tired of you people…and also just tired’ skipper being way too relatable

OH SHIT NUREYEV DIDNT TAKE THE FLOWERS???

SOMEONE TOOK THE FLOWERS FOR NUREYEV WHAT IS THIS????

OH IT WAS THE GRANDFATHER WHAT???

‘he sent me up to bed early’ ma’am, you are a probably-around-40-or-something-year-old woman

the gibberish is still funny

WHAT HE WAS FUCKING IN LOVE WITH NUREYEV HUH WHAT THATS SO FUNNY

‘we know how this theif operates he grabs you by your heartstrings and never lets go’ yeah rita would know about that with all the agnsty monolouges

WHAT THE FUCK HES TALKING????

WHO SAID HE LOVED HIM??? NUREYEV???? WHAT???

OH FUCK OH SHIT OH NO OH GOD ‘he said hed come back for me he said we’d run away together’ OHHHH NO NO NO NO NO. NO LONGER FUNNY

‘well it looks like my work here…is done’ *very fast tapping of rita walking away*

OH WAIT SHE CAME BACK TO ACTUALLY HELP JUNO LMAOO

awwww they’re all back together!

A TRACKER A TRACKER HE GOT IT ON NUREYEV AHAHAHA

THEY KNOW WHERE THE DOKANA GROUP IS LETS GO

oh ok fuck i thought we were done how foolish of me there hadnt been a sad speech yet

‘i knew he hadnt done the same to me’ OH THANK GOD OKOK

‘he meant the promises he made me’ AWW YAY

wait no its sad oh god oh no

‘problems for another day, i thought’ best coping method fr fr

‘the rest we’d just have to figure out together’ yay ok happy-ish ending :D

okok so alot of thoughts. i’m so scared of all the set-ups for angst and honestly i’m kinda just waiting for the episode that it all comes crashing down and everyones really sad. but also! hopefullness! juno saying that he’ll figure it out with nureyev! yay! i honestly don’t know how the big climax finally thing with jupeter and slip and the dokana group and everything is going to go i’m just really hoping for an eventual happy ending with happy jupeter (and rita there too :D)

anyway! loved this episode can’t wait for the next one with (i’m assuming) stuff with the Dokana group!!

[kokupuffs]

Could I get a lee Todoroki fic with ler dekusquad 👀 scenario is up to you and your wondrous imagination ✨

Ah, yes, of course! Apologies if I get anyones personality wrong. I haven't watched the anime in a while, so I don't remember everything.. Also i am sorry but i won't be including Tenya IIda because I'm not comfortable writing for him. hope you enjoy! :3

'Isn't it strange?' Ochaco asked, looking over at Izuku. Although she wasn't extremely worried, she thought the situation was very odd.

'I guess. It isn't like Todoroki to just skip training, especially without a proper reason.' The reason in question had been that he wasn't feeling very well. However, the others knew better. This happened yesterday to and now the others wanted to know the truth.

'My guess is that he's in his dorm. Maybe you guys should go figure out what's happening. I'll cover for you.' Mina responded as she overheard their conversation and wanted to help out herself. She was getting slightly concerned, considering that Todoroki never skipped a day of training before, so there had to be something going on. Right..?

The two of them soon arrived at the dorms, meeting up with the other girls along the way. 5 minutes.. Momo knocked again but found no answer. Was he asleep? Ignoring them? Maybe he wasn't here at all? That's what the others thought.. however, momo was persistent, and seeing as the door was unlocked, she let herself in the others soon following after.

'Todoroki?' She called out, but no answer.. 'Todoroki?' She called once again, this time a little louder. This time, Todoroki emerged from the kitchen, seemingly fine, although earlier he said he wasn't and well, he still persisted that he was not okay. Assuming that he was just being stubborn, Ochaco jabbed his side a few times, causing him to stumble back and clutch his side.

'Are you alright? Did she hurt you? If she did then I am so sorry!' Izuku was slightly concerned thinking that she had hurt him but it turns out she hadn't..

'No.. it's fine. She didn't hurt me. I'm just sensitive there I guess'

'So you're..'

'No! I never said that-'

'But you did, didn't you? So you know what that means..'

'Ahehehehehehe!' Momo and Ochaco had both lunged at him, Momo skittering her fingers skillfully up and down his sides while Ochaco was squeezing at his hips gently. This was enough to get him giggling however the girls thought he may be more sensitive somewhere else..

Tsuyu, not wanting to be left out, joined in the fun as she sat on his legs and gently scribbled her fingers along his knees.

'AHAHAHA! *hic* T-TSHEHEUHEHYHU!! STAHAHHAHAP! *squeal* NOOO!'

'Izuku come join!' The girls encouraged him and he went to hold up Todoroki's arms giving the girls free range as Todoroki squirmed and thrashed about.

'Aww look how red he is? Isn't it adorable?'

'Yeah, and listen to him. His laugh is so cute.'

Tsuyu was now lightly scratching at his feet while Momo and Ochaco both attacked his neck and ribs.

*snort* 'AHAHAHAHAHA' *hic* *hic* 'STAHAHAHAHAHAP' 'PLEAHEHEHHEHESEE!' *squeal*

He didn't know how much longer he could take this, but he'd had enough and was thankful as the others stopped there assault quietly giggling as he curled up into a ball, residue hiccups and giggling escaping his lips.

'So are you alright now?' Izuku asked

'Yehehes.. thank you..'

'Good' the girls smiled at each other as Izuku helped Todoroki up. He learned not to skip training after that..

Hope you enjoyed!

Note: I'm sorry if this is short..

[iasmelaion]

what happens when you listen to three audiobooks in like a week and a half

We've been at trial for like the past two weeks at work, which means I have been alone in the office, with approximately 2 hours worth of work to do every day max, mostly just there to answer frantic emails and texts about "what exhibit number is [vague and potentially inaccurate description of email or other document]?" and occasionally file supplemental trial briefs. Anyway, it's all up to the jury now! Only not now now because it is a court holiday and because this case lives to torment me and never ever ever finish ahahaha it's fine i'm fine, we better win.

Anyway, all of that is to say I was bored as hell so I decided to finally finish listening to the audiobook of Gideon the Ninth, which I had started listening to LAST FEBRUARY. You can perhaps guess that, as good as the audiobook narration was, I was not entirely feeling the book. Ahaha. Ha. I was already mentally writing my Goodreads review, complaining about how yes, the narrative voice is great, and yeah, the set up and genre mashup are fun (lesbian necromancers in space! country manor mystery! slasher horror!), but there's just not enough context and the worldbuilding is so vague and what are the overarching stakes even. And then the last 1/3 of the book happened, and I listened to all three current books in the series in like a week and a half and I have spent the last two days rotating these characters in my head and reading meta and such. Sorry in advance about how in approximately two weeks time, my queue will be full of TLT shit.

Spoilers and assorted jumbled reactions below, because I'm not about to ramble like this on goodreads. But real talk, I have skimmed so much spoilery talk/fan art/etc about these books and absolutely none of it made any sense at the time so tbh I don't think it matters all that much if you're spoiled. The spoilers won't even make any damn sense most of the time.

I wish I could give this series some kind of pitch that would, idk, explain it or make it seem enticing, but lol I have no idea where I'd even start. I'll just say that if you are in need of Enrichment in your Enclosure, these books are like being tossed a very meaty bone full of delicious marrow which you can gnaw upon for a good long while.

Gideon's narrative voice is a lot of fun, and I do quite enjoy how she's basically a big lesbian jock, even if that did make a lot of the first book rough going for me because alas, Gideon, bless her, is not interested in much beyond hot ladies, swords, staying alive, and getting off her home planet. And Harrow, of course.

HARROW. For 2/3 of the first book, Gideon hates her passionately, they've been enemies their entire lives, they are vicious and awful to each other. Now, I knew Gideon/Harrow was like THE ship for these books, and I was like "...hm. Listen, I simply do not vibe with this kind of enemyship." But then that last third happened, and auuughhhhh. They're enemies, they were all the other had, they were two rats trapped in a barrel, desperate to get out, clawing and biting and snarling and hurting each other, they were each other's only solace, they were doomed from the start. They've been trapped in a cycle of terrible violence, and I have no idea if they can ever get out. And the love Gideon wants from Harrow is to be used and consumed and destroyed by love, and the love Harrow wants to give is to save her and keep her even if it means forgetting her. Like, y'all, I ship it, but I have no idea how there's any kind of future in it.

And then Harrow the Ninth happened, and goddamn, poor fucking Harrow. I felt for her already after the revelation in Gideon the Ninth, but Harrow the Ninth made me so desperately sad for her.

Good job on the soup though, Harrow!

Also the low key comedy of all of them stuck with each other on the Mithraeum was *chef's kiss*. Just like THE most demented and toxic workplace sitcom while poor Harrow is descending into a total mental breakdown.

The worldbuilding is so fascinatingly, complicatedly BONKERS. Also it's so SPACE CATHOLICISM that I don't even know what to say about it. I'm not qualified. But like. It is. It's so Space Catholicism, but also make it More Goth. And it's clearly concerned with religion and faith and all that, but not in a Narnia kind of way, and I am FASCINATED about where it's all leading to.

What a fucking villain this series has in John Gaius aka God aka Necrolord Prime aka the Prince Undying aka the Emperor of the Nine Houses aka Jod. Just absolutely skin-crawlingly horrible, the literal Worst Person Who Ever Lived, even as he's affable and funny and occasionally endearing and pathetic. And like I'm not even sure all of that stuff is a mask or a cover for his monstrousness! Like I think he genuinely is affable and funny and endearing and pathetic! He is just also quite literally History's Greatest Monster. I'm not sure if he was always like this, though I'm leaning towards him having been an awful man before he became god, in all those quiet, too-easily unnoticed ways men are awful, the moment they have any power over someone. And then Jod gets all the power so of course his awfulness becomes correspondingly greater.

I will say though that Jod's origin story is an actual horror movie, the stuff of nightmares. It's the end of the world because climate change and he and his team are frantically working on some way to save everybody but it doesn't quite work, not well enough, and no one is listening to him, and the clock is ticking down and of course the billionaires have a way out, of course they're gonna get on some space ships and bounce, but what about everyone else? Jod is sure he can save everyone else, if only he had the resources, if only they'd listen to him. And someone was listening, it turns out. Someone--something gives him power. Terrible, terrible power over life and death. And he becomes something else and makes choice after terrible choice, enabled by his friends, and then whoops not whoops! He's killed everybody on the fucking planet and ate the sun and the whole solar system too!! Absolutely terrifying reveal, and it's built up to so well. We spend so much time listening to Jod and so much of what he says is reasonable or understandable, but every so often there's a hint that under his commendable politics and goals and general hapless nerd vibes, there's something else, something much, much worse.

Actually, this whole part would make a truly great horror movie, especially if it starts off as an almost dark comedy that shifts genres as it goes: from dark comedy to suspenseful thriller to eldritch horror.

Also he gets, like, super weird about the cadavers he's been experimenting on. Like, deeply, horrifying creepy and weird about them.

Lotta people get weird about corpses in this series, if I'm being honest.

CAMILLA AND PALAMEDES. I am UNWELL about these two. I am UNHINGED. I am still rotating them in my mind, unable to do much but WEEP. "So...do you ship them??" you might ask. To which I say idk and idc, what does to ship these two even MEAN at this point, they are platonic, they are romantic, they are eros, philia, AND agape, and they're the Love that Is Perfected in Death. The absolute fucking pinnacle of insane codependence. Childhood BFFs who crawled into each other's skins and hearts and souls and never crawled back out. How much more codependent is it possible to get? NONE. NONE MORE CODEPENDENT. They have MERGED THEIR SOULS AND BODIES TOGETHER INTO ONE BEING. [actually, real talk, i am uncertain of the Soul Situation, I am pretty sure they've merged their souls together, but like. idk. they do also say they will be known as themselves "beyond the River" after death] I am WEEPING just THINKING ABOUT IT. That is not fucking hyperbole btw, the mere thought of them basically makes me cry, it's fine, i'm fine. They love each other SO MUCH. I CANNOT HANDLE IT.

Anyway, rather difficult to "ship" a pairing that has become...one person. Like, still willing to make a game go of it even during the period where they're sharing a body, but like. Now they are one person??? Because this is not a Steven Universe-style fusion where Ruby and Sapphire can unfuse from Garnet, Camilla and Palamedes are now one person, no takebacks while they live. I do love Paul though! Fucking adore that some of Paul's first acts as a new person were acts of kindness and mercy. Jod's lyctors are called saints, but I think Paul is the only one who is a saint in truth.

So, a triumph or a tragedy or both that Camilla and Palamedes died to become Paul? Idk! I adored Camilla and Palamedes as individual characters, I adored how in many ways they're the certain, just moral center of this entire series, I love their intelligence and ferocity, and oh, after Nona the Ninth, I loved so much how they loved. Each other, and other people. I loved Camilla using truths like her swords, her dry humor, how she was still so kind even while being an absolute stone cold fucking badass. I loved Palamedes, his brilliance and how he bent basically all that brilliance into helping people. I loved so fucking much that he was the one who figured out that there was a better way to achieve lyctorhood than the way Jod and his lyctors set out for them. I loved that stuck in a bubble in the underworld, with nothing but a terrible erotic novel, he started having serious opinions about said erotic novel and undoubtedly wrote terrible fanfiction in his head about it.

Ahem. Anyway. Abigail Pent and Magnus Quinn were also delightful, and I was especially charmed by the lovely Welsh accents Moira Quirk gives them in the audiobook. Love that Abigail has immensely powerful, friendly mom friend energy while simultaneously being an immensely powerful Eldritch Speaker for the Dead. Gideon observing her all like "ah, her eye contact is...extremely very unsettlingly intense! but also she is wearing an apron and is cheerful so that's alright then."

God, this is really long, sorry to anyone who actually read it, possibly i will reblog with more disjointed thoughts.

[sakuraswordly]

Spoiler Tsofph season 6

Inside Meirchio's bathhouse

Velvet: Ah, what a nice bath. How was the men's side?

Sonic: Uuuuhhhhhh *Blushing* Uh, not bad. I feel warmer now.

Velvet: Hm? Your face is all red. Is it too long?

Sonic: No! Um, I feel fine. *His face is bright as tomato colour*

Velvet holds out her comb to him.

Sonic: ...............!!

Velvet: You mind? Help me comb my hair.

Sonic: Can I?

Velvet: Yes, please.

Sonic: Alright, leave it to me.

Sonic raises the comb but hesitates as he notices wisps of malevolence coming off of Velvet.

Velvet: Be careful, okay? I can't contain it.

Sonic: .................................................You know something, Velvet? Your hair is really beautiful.

Velvet: .............!!

Sonic: You know, that power that I have... If I could master the silver flame from Laphicet, I might... be able to turn everyone back into a human.

Velvet: A human, huh. If we ever had a chance to start over, I'd love to cook for you every day. My quiches are much better than anything they sell in the stores.

Sonic: Okay! Then I'll fetch the water and chop the firewood!

Velvet: All by yourself?

Sonic: Of course! I'm going to get memories back soon. And I'm gonna get stronger, too.

Velvet: Yes, you will. I know you will.

.

.

Velvet: I know I might die if I go through with this, but still, I have to do it. Even if it means I have to sacrifice everyone that I know... Even you who saved me... The Lord of Calamity isn't a daemon lord. She's just a... selfish, horrible girl.

Sonic: You know Velvet......the nickname "Laphi" that you gave to me kind of a little too childish.

Velvet's eyes open and she stares ahead. The malevolence stops rising and fades away.

Velvet: You think so?

Sonic: Even I don't like to treat you like a child but I like how that's a symbol how kindness you are. I never knew how a demon like you could have a weak side too.

Velvet: Oh....I still don't understand boys sometimes...I'm sorry....

He hands her the comb. Velvet smiles back and looks down to hide tears.

Sonic: It's okay.....I'll forgive you.

Velvet: Thank you, Sonic.

.

.

Chester: So Sonic, man to man... how was your bath in Meirchio?

Sonic: Huh?

Chester: You, uh, you went in with Velvet, right? Just between us guys, what was it like?

Sonic: *Blushing* Wh-Wh-What are you getting at, Chester?!

Syaoran: Let me in on this, too. It'll be our secret.

Sonic: Syaoran?! You too?!

Syaoran: There's nothing to be ashamed of. There are just certain times in life when you need to find your resolve and seize the opportunity. We just want to know what your resolve got you.

Chester: Right. It's like a test.

Sonic: Stop it! I didn't go into the bath with her!

Chester: Now that's a shame. That might have been your one shot. Once you're all grown up, you won't be able to get away with it.

Sonic: That's why I didn't do it. I'm tired of Velvet treating me like a little kid.

Chester: Ahahaha! Bravo!

Syaoran: *Chuckle* You pass the test.

Chester: Right. You don't need me to watch over you anymore.

Sonic: Why did you laugh like that?

Chester: We're just happy that you're growing up.

Sonic: I don't understand you at all, Chester! If you're just gonna pick on me, go away!

Chester: Woah whoa! I'm sorry. But I really needed that. Laughter's good for the soul.

Sonic: Chester.....Were you feeling tense?

Chester: You wouldn't think it, huh? But now I can fight like I always do. I owe you, Sonic. You too, Syaoran-kun.

Sonic: Yeah, don't worry about it.

Syaoran: *Smile*

Chester: Sonic, Syaoran-kun. Watch me prove myself.

.

.

Velvet: We just need one last soul to awaken the elemental Empyreans.

Sonic: Are you all right, Velvet?

Velvet: I'll eat Melchior and our collection will be complete.

Sonic: I'm not worried about that. I'm worried about you. You collapsed after the thing, remember?

Velvet: Ah... You wonder if I'm fine after eating Saleh. It's not a problem.

Sonic: But wasn't Saleh a lot more powerful than they were?

Velvet: But look at me. I'm fine, right? Does it seem like I'm faking it?

Sonic: No...it just.............

Velvet: I think I'm just used to it. Both my body and mind.

Sonic: *Smile* You're not just used to it. You've changed.

Velvet: Hm?

Sonic: Just as I changed after finding the true origin of my past, you've gotten stronger through our travels, too. You faced down many sorrows and hardships and overcame them all.

Velvet: Did I, though?

Sonic: You did. And that's why I-

* Stomach rumbles.*

Laphicet: Ah...

Sonic: Oh.

Velvet: *Chuckle* I'll make you a quiche later.

Laphicet: Could you make pudding, too?

Velvet: Sure... But are you just trying to butter me up so I'll cook for you?

Laphicet: Well, I mean...Uh... Yeah. How did you know?

Velvet: You too, Phi. You really have grown a lot, haven't you? All right, let's go and find me some Melchior to eat.

Sonic & Laphicet: Yeah!

.

.

After awaken the elemental Empyreans.

Amy: So, what was it you needed to say to me alone?

Velvet turns and smiles at her. Amy smiles back.

Velvet: Where's Sonic?

Amy: He wanted to stand watch with me, but I forced him to get some rest. After all this fighting, he needs it.

Velvet: I owe you. Laphi always tries to play the tough guy.

Amy: Just like the one who named him.

Velvet: He's nothing like me. His motivation comes from hope.

Amy: Hope...

Velvet: The wind is nice...

Amy: Yes. The world may teem with hardship and sadness, but it's also filled with beauty. The endless ocean, the islands in the south, even the frozen tundra and the mountains that spew fire.

Velvet: It is... And humans make their home among all that beauty. This is the world that Laphi always yearned to travel. I finally understand what he saw when he sat looking out over the ocean.

*Velvet looks down*

Velvet: Amy, I have a single favor to ask of you. If anything happens to me, take care of Sonic.

Amy: What? Is something the matter?

Velvet: The power possessed by the therions and Innominat is fundamentally the same. I have a theory... No. "Theory" is too rational. A different part of me, something separate from my hatred, wants me to do something. It wants me to leave this world with hope.

Amy: Wait. You don't mean...

Velvet: Humor me, okay? If the worst happens. I'm counting on both you and Shadow.

Amy:...I understand. You have my word. I'll look after Sonic. While I'd love to take advantage of this momentary weakness, I can't. My oath is to obey your orders until my dying breath.

Velvet: Heh. I'd almost forgotten about all that. I'm counting on you then.

[smilingangel582]

I love your laugh

Hii, I wanted to write for tears of themis and I love my two boys Luke and Marius... Rosa is soooo luckyyyy but I love her too. I'm writing this I'm second pov

Anyway, enjoy this!

Spoilers for tears of themis game

Y/N hasn't been able to express her gratitude over having Luke call her to spend the night.

Of course, you love Luke... everything about his smile... his strength... his teasing and also his shyness, too. They are all beautiful things.

You also like another aspect of him... but it's a rare chance for you to catch him in that state.

The time you used the toy cuffs failed... well at least in the end... but he has been playing around with you too.

If there's a way Y/N can get him once... genuinely making him seem cute and helpless. It's a mission you have been intending to accomplish.

"Hey Y/N" a soft tone from a luke makes you tilt you head back at him where he sits next to you on the couch now gently lowering his head on your lap. "You gotten so beautiful"

Blushing, somehow he's gentle but even he's blushing from what he said, but it's a happy one. You grin "I think you are cute, Luke"

And there is that blush. He eyes away from you, burning red but smiling with endearment "Don't you mean yourself? You know its because of you"

You began to touch his face, smooth cheeks, light lips, he's perfect. That's when you get an idea... something about his past makes you want to try it once more.

"Luke..."

He looks up with his burning brown passionate eyes, "Hmm?"

Your finger tips trail down his abdomen, towards the lift of them hem of his shirt. Gently grazing his waist making him jolt a bit, eyes slightly wide "Y/N?!"

"Hm?" Now you hum, your finger tips stalling your purpose to tickle him, as you pretend to slide your long fingers over the shirt but 'accidentally' tracing his skin.

Slowly, you see him trying to keep a straight face, but your finger would often circle around his belly as well and that makes him slightly anxious with giggles.

"Are you OK, Luke?" Hiding her mischievous tone "you so jumpy"

He clears his throat. "I... hehe, I mean, yeah, I'm ok"

You hide a giggle yourself when your fingers make way around his belly button circling the rim and he groans "Ahh... wahait Y/n"

"Don't tell me this is tickling you"

He shakes his head, though the crooked smile tells otherwise. Then you persistently messed with his belly button beneath the abs... circling there and making his chest shaky.

Eventually, you pinch his ribs, and that makes his squeak and grab your wrist. Eyes suddenly burning bright, you state the obvious, "So you are still ticklish"

Luke stares at you now, slightly red, a look which you see often, but this opportunity to get him back for his strength is a first.

And you finally began.

Luke suddenly curls away from your skittering nimble fingers. You always knew his weakness to tickles. It's strange how he's so ticklish that it can be easily used against him. Never matter, you admire this cute quirk of his. His airy bright laughter is childish and sweet.

"Ahahaha Y/n keeehehee aahah! Nohohot thehehere!"

"I'm sorry, dear detective..." Y/n tease now slowing the tickles as you see he's panting a bit "But you can't be begging so easily to a little tickling"

"Ahaha yohohou ahahare mehehean." From that reply, you make him squeal when you decide to squeeze his ribs a perfect spot to make him subservient. Right now, he's genuinely being cornered by tickling... he's not fighting back much, because he's already weakneed from the tickling.

You love to tease him, "Lukie... did you know humans have thirty ribs?" Purposefully getting them wrong, she baits him to say this with giggly laughter.

"Nahaha ihihihi hahaahave twehehenty fohohour" shaking his head, he holds his arms tightly to his sides to evade your small hands.

"You Sure?" You snicker and now pinches his lower ribs, emphasising how he sealed his fate."Let's count and see who's right... there's oooone pair"

"NOHOOO!" Luke's laugh leaps an octave, and now he's tired out enough to be weaker to your tickling.

"twoooo"

He shrieks a sound so uncharacteristic bjt adorable that even you can compose yourself "Eek! Ahaha y/n mehehercy mercy! Hahahaa"

"Threee.... " You mercilessly scratched the lower ribs perfectly, getting him to shriek. However, you did see he's got good stamina to bear you counting all his twenty-four ribs.

He breathes now, clutching his sides. "Yohou are so hehe mischievous"

Giggling, you lean to his side, stroking his chin. "I love it when you laugh like that... It's cute"

He winces with a giggle, "Ahh, it's so uncool, tho"

"I think you are cool and cute," you playfully say, now cuddling closer, feeling the afternoon draw a lovely crimson, hiding both your blushes from the flushing sun.

[aprillikesthings]

OKAY I can finish out the season tonight :D

s3 ep6 The Portal

D:

D:

I actually like this version of Glimmer's outfit better, but like, it's also got a swishy skirt and is more lavender so ....I would

Anyway Adora's been arrested trying to sneak into the castle

FOCUS

well now I'm actively trying not to think about the fic I read yesterday

Micah put a truth spell on Adora and she's ranting about the portal and all that and it's all true but of course she sounds NUTS

aaugh

the portal version of Entrapta ahahah

lol of course she knows

"Only way to shut the portal off is from the inside,

and is stuck there forever!!"

Adora mentions Hordak--

The way her face lights up when talking about Hordak, but then falls when she remembers what Catra did--

anyway she points out "oh the portal is following you, you need to get your sword out of the portal" to Adora who is, rightfully, a little horrified

MARA

oh lord you can see the look on Adora's face when she decides "actually Imma just go get my sword out"

Glimmer and Adora give her a pep talk and disappear

OHHHHHH GOD

HGGGGGGGH

HGGGHHGHGHGHHGHHHHH

oh god I forgot what her voice sounds like when she's corrupted

it took like four tries to get this one ahaha

oh I've realized when else a cartoon gave me that very specific shivery feeling AHAHAHA

*squints at the username of the gifmaker* whatever. I'm just happy to find the exact gif I was looking for, for once, anyway, it's the fusion scene of Malachite from Steven Universe

It's not a sex-related feeling but it's not NOT a sex-related feeling??? I'm not sure if it's related to monsterfucking? the inherent eroticism of realizing a not-quite-human character could kill you for funsies?

I mean also Evelynn from K/DA does it to me sometimes (and she's literally like "but what if getting murdered was ~sexy~"). Hm. 🤔

man I don't even have to caption this one

look, I'm just horny-posting these at this point

well also emotional posting because AUGH

Catra's just like, throwing her around (in various fake portal versions of places they've previously been) and Adora's not even really trying to defend herself

and Catra's taunting her with variations on "this is all your fault"

Like this is literally Adora's worst nightmare

I actually already have a screenshot of this saved somewhere because I was attempting to draw it so I could color it with watercolors and then glue super fine glitter over the glow-y parts, I think I got as far as some of the pencil lines, I should find that....of all the scenes in this show, that's the one I wanted to draw/paint.

And then Adora starts fighting back finally, but also: 😏

YEAH TELL HER

"I didn't break the world, but I am going to fix it!"

(I mean yeah but also: adds another mark on the page titled "times Adora tried to sacrifice herself to save other people")

"And you? You made your choice!" and hooboy that made Catra real mad

LOL I RAN OUT OF IMAGES I knew I would with this one okay hold on

[the-haunted-office]

( @fluxofthemouth - Continued from here!)

It was an honest mistake. How was she supposed to know that the laundry detergent on this world was different than the laundry detergent on hers? Much more potent and... sudsier...

And of course there was no way she was going to call Piter over for help - she was the one who'd offered to help in the first place! So naturally she'd tried to fix it by trying to push some buttons and adjust the settings on the machine, but these buttons were all strange to her and before she knew it she was covered in suds and so was the rest of the room, and she'd been gone for a while longer than she'd intended and there was Piter coming to see what the hold-up was and-

Yeah, the rest spoke for itself, even as she tried to speak for the whole situation.

The stupidest thing in all this is that not even Thursday knows how to respond to Piter, for as much as he's trying to figure out how to respond to her, because even she isn't sure how to address this.

Is the situation under control? Well, that depends on what your definition of "situation" and "under control" is. The fact that she's covered in soap suds might indicate that she doesn't have the situation under control, and might also indicate that there is a situation - one involving something producing lots of soap. And she didn't have enough time to hide it or otherwise clean it up. There's no fixing that now. The "under control" part is called into question too, because it's... all over the place. But, one could argue, the majority of the suds are, in fact, quarantined behind the door, which means the situation is under control. The real question then becomes... how much worse could the situation get?

Which would have led Thursday into asking that question next, were it not for Piter's well-timed pun, thus saving her momentarily from the awkwardness of the situation.

"Hahahaha! Nice one! I mean, maybe that's what this is all about, eh? A set-up specifically for you to make that joke, ahahaha," she says, still leaning against the door, while soapy bubbles continue to leak from under it, and some from the sides as well. A smile still plastered to her face, she goes on. "I'll bet you're wondering what's really going on here though, eh? I'll bet to you it even looks like I might have poured too much laundry detergent into your machine and then tried to fix it by just pressing a bunch of buttons like I didn't know what they all did or something, right? Well, you would think that........... and you'd be correct. I did do that. I'm sorry, Piter! I tried to fix it! I thought I understood what the buttons did, but very clearly I did not. How do I fix this?! I mean, obviously I can use like, a mop to clean up all the soap suds, but how do I stop the machine from making more bubbles?! Tell me that much and I promise I'll clean up the rest. Sorry about this! And, ah, if I broke anything or ruined your laundry, obviously I'll replace it and then promise to never go near this room again, ahahaha. I mean, unless I have to walk past it to get from one room to the next, but obviously I won't be stopping at this room specifically."

[theerurishipper]

SOME MORE

-

Ladybug took a moment to make sure no one was listening, and then laughed to herself.

"This is gonna be so great." She could almost see it now, their hamster named- oh, that was a perfect rooftop, right there!

She landed gracefully, if she did say so herself. Step 1, check. Now for Step 2.

"Spots off." Tikki came hurtling out of the earnings, and landed on Marinette's hand with a groan. Marinette assumed she was hungry and gave her the macaron she always carried with an apology. Tikki ate it, resigned to her fate.

"Oh no, Tikki! Chat Noir's already here!" Tikki quickly flew into her bag, gripping the macaron like it was her tether to life. In a way, it was, now more than ever. Marinette quickly pulled out her phone, and started recording. "Here we go."

She then flung her hands out dramatically. "Oh, Chat Noir, help me!" She peeked at him, and watched as he rushed over to the rooftop she was precariously perched on, his golden hair whipping in the wind. She waited until he was a close enough distance, and jumped off the roof.

Being Ladybug must have desensitized her, because the fall was rather unceremonious. She fell, Chat Noir caught her with his strong arms, they landed on the rooftop. She braced herself, waiting for the inevitable slip up. Her plan was foolproof, her logic was sound, and here it came-

"Are you alright?"

"Hah! I knew- wait, what?"

He blinked at her, ears twitching. "Are you alright?"

She stared.

This wasn't the plan. He was supposed to laugh, or make a rude comment, or... something! This was just Sweetie Noir! Where was Jerk Noir?

Then she laughed. "Ahahaha! I'm great, I'm- I'm super! Yep."

He glanced at her, frowning. Frowning was good! She could salvage this yet! "What happened?"

"Oh, I got lost, so I, uh, climbed up this roof to, uh, see where I was! Yeah, that's what I was doing, totally not trying to trick you into revealing you're secretly a jerkass or anything."

He stared at her. She waited for the inevitable retort. After an excuse as feeble and weird as that, who wouldn't-

"That makes sense!"

She felt her jaw unlatch from her face and fall to the ground.

She stared at him, at his stupid pretty face, as he looked at her, the very picture of innocence. Tikki had warned her of this very possibility. "He might not be what you expect, Marinette," she had said. But Marinette had dismissed her! She had questioned, nay, disregarded the wisdom of the embodiment of creation, who had existed since the beginning of, well, creation! How could she have made such a huge and fatal error?

Of course her simple yet brilliant plan wouldn't work! Chat Noir was just. Too. Good. He'd managed to fool the whole city! How could she have thought, how could she have fathomed, in any way, that he would simply slip up a second time? She would have to work a lot harder.

And that is what it came down to, wasn't it? Marinette knew, she understood, she comprehended. The subtleties in his demeanor, in his mocking gaze. This was a challenge to her, a test. To see if she had what it took. He didn't think she was good enough; he didn't think she knew his ways. He didn't think she was willing to work.

But oh, she did. She knew him. She knew him better than he could ever realize. If subtlety was the name of the game, then Marinette would train every day, hone her mind and become a master of the art.

She let him drop her off the roof and onto the ground below, and turned off the recording, watching as he took off, undoubtedly looking for her.

This was only the beginning.

-

Somewhere in Paris, Master Fu shuddered, sensing a disturbance in the force.

"Master, if I might be so bold as to inquire, what the fuck was that?" asked Wayzz, hovering before him, the very picture of worry.

Master Fu stroked his beard. "Dark times are upon us, my friend. Very dark times indeed."

"What do you mean, Master?"

Msater Fu sighed gravely. "In the immortal words of Grandmaster Su-Han, may he rest in Feast, shit just got real."

-

Ladybug swung along the rooftops, heading for a familiar destination. Stopping in front of a billboard, she sat down for her daily dose of Adrien. "Oh, Adrien..." she sighed, a dopey grin on her face. The sight of her dear Adrien was enough to soothe even the disappointment of being bested by Chat Noir.

Unbeknownst to her, the same thing was happening with Adrien, who, whilst walking along the road to maximize his time spent out of home, had caught sight of her. "Oh, Ladybug..." he sighed, causing poor Plagg to feel quite nauseous. At least Tikki was in the earrings now, free of the suffering that came with being caught with a lovesick teenager.

And then, as though fate was mocking him, Ladybug turned, and spotted Adrien. Her eyes seemed to brighten instantly, so much so that Plagg couldn't help but be blinded by it. He tried to say something, to tell Adrien that they should get the heck outta there, but the kid was lovestruck, and he remained rooted in place as Ladybug, now full of her Ladybug Confidence™, decided to swing down by.

She landed gracefully, and Adrien watched as she opened her mouth just as he opened his own.

"Omigosh hi!!" they both said in perfect unison, and both secretly thought of how this meant they were destined to be. They blushed, and Adrien cleared his throat. "Oh, you first."

"Thanks," said Ladybug shyly. Her face split into a huge smile, and Adrien almost swooned right there. She liked him!

"It's so awesome to meet you, totally for the first time though! I've never seen you before! I absolutely don't have your face plastered all over my room, and I 100% don't go to school with you!"

Adrien laughed. "I've totally never seen you before either, let alone fought beside you! I don't have your pictures all over my room either!" They congratulated themselves on their obvious compatibility.

"But... I think we were meant to be," Ladybug said, looking into Adrien's deep green eyes and trying to drown in them. Adrien's eyes widened, and he gasped daintily.

"Are... are you for real?" he asked, positively giddy with happy feelings. As he stared at her, the sun came out from behind a cloud specifically to shine onto him, making his golden hair glow. Ladybug almost died for a second from the sheer beauty, but the healing powers of Adrien's smile brought her back.

Ladybug smiled warmly at him. "Totes," she said to her new boyfriend and future father of their three children and their hamster-who-has-not-yet-been-named. She took Adrien's hand and kissed it, just like Chat Noir would do to her. Because it was a smooth move, and she would be darned if she let Jerk Noir be the only one to use it. He didn't deserve that.

Adrien "Ladybug's boyfriend" Agreste squealed in absolute delight and resolved to never wash his hand again. Ladybug gave him a wink that came out more like a grimace, and Adrien almost swooned again from the sheer flirtatiousness of it all. His girlfriend was so perfect.

Ladybug flew into the sun, and Adrien skipped all the way back home, replacing his sorrow at being forgotten by his father with his utter happiness at becoming Ladybug's boyfriend. Flowers bloomed in his wake, rejuvenated and revitalized by his sheer joy.

All the while, Plagg sat in Adrien's jacket, hoping that the universe would welcome him into its warm embrace.

-

Marinette reached home and jumped onto her bed to have a nice, relaxing scream, while Tikki flew to the window and begged for the universe to take her.

"Adrien's my boyfriend, Tikki! My plan still worked!"

"But Chat Noir still hasn't been exposed," Tikki mumbled, resigned and demoralized.

Marinette scoffed. "Sure, but now I know for a fact that he's just a big ol' meanie. I mean, it could not have been more obvious just how subtly he was messing with me. Well, two can play at that game!"

Tikki just made a sound that sounded suspiciously like a curse.

Marinette couldn't hear her though, now angry at the fact that her pictures of Adrien had to be in the same vicinity as her plotting board, which was full of pictures of Chat Noir. "You don't deserve this, my sweet sunshine," she crooned consolingly to the unmoving images of her beloved boyfriend. "He doesn't deserve to share the same space as you."

But she couldn't really do anything about it. It wasn't like she was a billionaire with enough money to build an evil lair or a teenager who had three mothers and twenty-five different identities who also had some kind of evil lair.

"Anyway," Marinette proclaimed, having shifted her focus back to scheming against her unwitting nemesis. "I have to be subtle about this. I have to discreetly take Chat Noir on while also letting him know it's me. I have to beat him at his own game. But for that, I'll have to turn to a trusted comrade."

And so, for the next few hours, Marinette scoured the internet, not pausing for a moment of rest until she found what she was looking for.

At long last, she found it. And after a few well-placed calls and messages, her plan was in motion. She rubbed her hands together in glee as Tikki ate her two hundredth consolation macaron to alleviate some of her crushing despair.

Through the diligent and dedicated efforts of Alya Cesaire of the renowned Ladyblog, and an extra special mention to Marinette Dupain Cheng who came up with the idea in the first place to show her utmost appreciation and respect, Chat Noir had been nominated for the internet's official catgirl tournament of 2015.

i think there should be more marichat enemy aus. i DONT mean marichat stories where ladynoir are enemies and marichat bonds. i mean actual marichat enemies where marinette and chat noir are actively trying to destroy each other’s lives. something goes wrong during evillustrator and somehow they both come out of it thinking the other hates them. the idea of chat noir hating her civilian self pisses marinette off so she decides to hate him too. marinette constantly has the upper hand here because ladynoir are still partners. chat noir does not understand why his lady is upset with him or why marinette is so mean.

meanwhile adrien is ABSOLUTELY terrified marinette will find out his secret identity and start going after him in real life too. so he avoids her at all costs. marinette is devastated by this and knows in her heart this is somehow chat noirs fault. meanwhile they are making out as ladrien.

[arc-misadventures]

I'm assuming Jaune had a melt down going to Jeanne's world and seeing Beacon perfectly fine made even worse by swapping in front of class seeing male Pyrrha and him saying "oh great the failure is back".

An Unfair, and Cruel World

Green grass, emerald trees, blue sky. A tower rising high, high into the sky. Buildings of stone, and students milling about their day, and lessons. This was, Beacon Academy. A world, Jaune never thought he would see once again. Only in his dreams he thought he would walk these halls, hear these sounds again. But, he knew he would always come here in his nightmares.

Jaune: W-W-What…?! B-Beacon Academy?! No no nononono! This is a dream, just a really, really vivid dream?! Haha?! Yeah, I can just wake up, yeah, wake up?! Haha~?!

: Uhh…? Jaune, everything okay?

Jaune turned on the dime, and turned to see who spoke to him. He a wide, almost mad smile went across his face as he neared her.

Jaune: Ahh, Nora?!

Nora: H-Hi, Jaune… Nice outfit…?

Jaune: Slap me!

Nora: W-What?

Jaune: Slap me! I-I-I gotta wake up from this nightmare?! So slap me, and wake me up!

Nora: O-Okay…?

Nora really, really didn’t want to slap, Jaune. She does like to go in for a playful slap every now, and then, but not when, Jaune was acting like this. Nonetheless, she did hit him, not as harshly as she would often do. But, it wasn’t hard enough, at least he said so.

(Slap!)

Jaune: What?! W-W-Why am I still here?!

Nora: What do you mean, Jaune?

Jaune: H-H-Hit me again!

Nora: W-What?!

Jaune: Hit me again! Harder this time!

Nora: W-Why do you want me to hit you? No, why are you freaking out?! What’s wrong, Jaune?!

Jaune: What’s wrong…? What’s wrong?! This is a nightmare! None of this should be here! It should all be a Grimm infested hell hole?! Why is, Beacon still…?!

The door opened, and his voice fell. For in the door was someone he didn’t want to see. Not because he didn’t want to see that person. But, he didn’t want to see what that person represented.

: Nora, what’s taking you so long, we’re going to miss… Oh, hello, Jaune. Its nice to see you again~!

Jaune: R-R-Rin?!

Rin: Hi, Jaune… Are… Are you okay?

Jaune: No?! I-If you’re here?! T-That means I’m in her world?! Where everything is nice, and perfect, and not an absolute hell hole?!!

Rin: Jaune? Jaune what’s wrong?!

Jaune: Haha?! Ahahaha?!

Rin, and Nora were getting scared; Jaune’s actions, his behaviour, it all seemed like too erratic, too unrestrained. Like his whole world was falling apart, and he was going to break under the pressure.

Jaune: Where is she?!

He turned to face them, a mad, and wild look in his eyes, as he stood above them, is frame having become bigger, and taller since they last saw him.

Rin: W-Who?

Jaune: Cinder… Cinder Fucking Fall!

Rin: I-I don’t know anyone named that?!

Jaune: Noo…?! Hehe…Do you, know, Nora?!

Nora: No, why are you looking for her?

Jaune: Haha~?! So I can kill her…

His words were said so casually, so calmly that it sent chills down the girls spine as he shoved them aside, and left the room with a bloodthirsty gaze as he rand down the halls of the school.

Nora: Shit! He’s getting away!

Rin: I should have used my semblance on him!

Nora: Well why didn’t you?!

Rin: He was scaring me! That mad look in his eyes… We better get after him!

Nora: I’ll send the others a text to tell them to keep an eye on him.

Rin: Alright, lets go!

~~~

Jaune: Where is she?! Where the fuck is that bitch!

: Where is that failure of a huntsman?

: There he is!

: Well, he’s had, an upgrade.

: Hey, Arc!

Jaune: Oh look, the simp squad, the fuck do you losers want?!

William: Simp squad?!

Pyrros: We just want to talk.

Jaune: Before, or after you insult me again?

Ruben: Shit, he heard you.

Jaune: Of course I heard you, you pathetic little shit! Now, what do you want!

Blake: Nora asked us to keep an eye on you, that’s it.

Jaune: ‘Keep an eye on me?!’ Hahah~?! What are you going to do; beat the hell out of me, and lock me up again?!

Ruben: T-That was just a misunderstanding…

Jaune: Really?! Hehehe?! Being attacked by everyone for just showing up? While you are also planning on attacking me?!

Pyrros: We weren’t going to attack you.

Jaune: Then, why are you all armed…?

Pyrros: We’re at a Huntsman Academy, of course we have your weapons.

Jaune: Hehe?! Really~?! All of you, dressed in your school uniforms, armed, while you’re looking for me? Haha~! If you were a jokester I would have thought it was hilarious~?!

Ruben: Okay… Something ain’t right in his head…

Jaune: It doesn’t matter! We both know you’re full of it! So, just tell me where, Cinder Fall is, and I’ll be on my way!

Yin: W-Who…?

Jaune: Cinder Fall? Smug smile?! Burning eyes? A psychotic serial killer?!! Does that ring any bells?!

Ruben: N-No…?

Blake: Okay, I have no idea what happened, but I think he’s gone through some shit…

William: Burning eyes…? Does she have black hair?

Pyrros: You know someone like that?

William: I think I do…?

Jaune: Really?! Where! Tell me where she is!

William: I can’t tell you, even I don’t know what my sister gets up to.

Jaune: T-Then contact her!

William: My sister is a, Specialist in the service of, Atlas! I can’t just ask her about something that might be related to her job!

Jaune: Contact her! NOW!!!

It was a growl of rage, and desperation, the sound of which sent them stumbling back in shock, and fear.

William: N-No! You can’t tell me what to… GRK?!

With the speed of a wolf, Jaune lashed out grabbing the heir apparent throat’s in a vice tight grip. He spoke down to the boy in a voice of jagged ice, and cold steel as he stared down the arrogant boy.

Jaune: I wasn’t asking…

Yin: Oh that’s it! Get ready for a world of pain bucko!

Jaune didn’t move, for the strategist was now upon the battlefield. He kept his eyes glued on, William’s face, as he heard the mechanical shifting of Yin’s bracelets into their gunned gauntlet forms. He listened to the sounds of, Yins roaring as he charged him, and as he say him grow ever larger in the corner of his eyes, his hand held out high as a prepared to attack the knight. Jaune quickly held, William in the way, using him as a meat shield to take the direct brut force of, Yin’s attack, sending the poor boy flying as he felt, Yins punch connected with the back of his head.

Yin: Shit! William are you okay?! Bahh?!

A solid punch connected with, Yin’s jaw, sending the boy reeling. He was used to getting punched, but this guy punched harder than his father ever did.

Jaune: Pay attention you brat!

Yin shook off the brunt of the impact as he launched a series of counter attacks. Jaune entered a boxers stance as he defended himself against, Yin’s wild attacks that couldn’t seem to land a solid hit, but was getting pummeled in turn.

Yin: The fuck?! Ooph?! (Cough cough!) How are you this good?! It’s like I’m fight myself!

Jaune: You are fighting yourself! At least the better version of you…

Jaune, caught one of, Yins wild explosive punches with his bare hand. He then pulled, Yin closed and head butted him to the ground, where he proceeded to berate the boy.

Jaune: As an apology for being a bunch of jackasses to me, the Team RWBY of my world trained me! And, you have nothing on my, Yang! Your punches are wild, predictable, and slow! You are leagues behind her!

Yin growled in rage, as his eyes turned red as he used the blast from his gauntlets to send himself flying forward. Hoping to use the power of his semblance’s abilities to put him down. Jaune, just scoffed as he easily sidestepped his attack, drawing his sword still encased within his sheath, landing a hard strike against his legs, tripping up the brawler mid flight sending him flying into a barrier, shattering it, and his aura on impact.

Jaune: Temper, temper… Hehe… You’d best keep that in check unless you want to lose an arm like, Yang did~!

Yin’s back was in the crater in the pillar his body had just made. His eyes widened shock as he starred at the upside down male version of, Jeanne as he silently whispered in fear, and shock.

Yin: S-She lost her arm…?!

Before, Jaune could say any more, he had to side step, Blake’s weapon coming at his face. He quickly deployed his shield as he felt a blast of, Williams dust attack impact his shield, as bullets ricocheted off of his shield.

Jaune: Hahaha~?! Great, the gangs all here, now we can all die together! Or, however the hell you said it, Yang…

Before, Jaune could say another word, the trio launched their attack at him. Ruben, coming from his left, Blake to his right, and William directly in front of him. Jaune knew he had to move, so with an unhinged laugh he charged the weakest link of the three: William.

As, Jaune charged the boy, his eyes flashed for the briefest moments in shock, before he quickly recovered, and readied himself for the attack! There was a problem, however, he wasn’t ready for, Jaune’s attack.

Jaune, was faster than any of them expected, more trained, and far more used to fighting humans than they were. There was a massive difference in fighting against your fellow student, and fighting against someone who wanted to kill you, or if you wanted to kill them at that.

He brushed, Williams’ stab away with his shield, before stabbing in turn with his own sword, hitting the, Schnee square in the chest. The hit chipped away massively at his meagre aura supply.

But, before, Jaune could attack again he had to move aside as, Blake attacked him. Bullets ricocheting off of his aura as, Blake attacked him. Jaune, just simply shrugged them off as he went on the offensive. Blake, kept using his semblance to evade his attacks, preventing, Jaune from landing a hit. So, Jaune did the only thing he could do, change his means of attack.

Jaune: Ha! How predictable! Belladonna is running away from a fight! You’re just as much as a coward as she is!

Blake: What did you say?!

Jaune: That you’re a coward! Running away from a battle. Like a scared dog with its tail between its legs! Or, is it a cat in your case?

Blake: W-What are you talking about?!

Jaune: That you’re a cat faunas, what do the others not know because you’re hiding you ears underneath that took of yours?!

Blake: How do you…?!

Pyrros: Wait, for real?!

William: You’re a faunas?!

Ruben: Why didn’t you tell us?!

Blake: B-Because I…?! Ahh?!!

Jaune closed the distance,and bashed, Blake in the face with his sheild, send the faunas realing back. But, before, Blake could counter attack, Jaune was upon him, sword held high, raining blow after blow on him.

Jaune: Because he’s a fucking coward! Just like my, Blake is, or was! Then she got her partners arm cut off, stabbed, and went on some dammed spiritual quest she finally grew a spine and was capable of displaying her faunas ears with pride, but until that happened she was a goddamn coward like you are!

Blake wanted to retort, needed to retort his claims of cowardice, but how could he? Jaune, was right, no matter how much he thought he wasn’t a coward, he was. And, that was the last thought upon his mind as unconsciousness took him.

Jaune: Pathetic…

Ruben: You bastard!

A flash of red roses flew in the air towards, Jaune. Ruben Rose, weapon held high, and posed to strike. But, before he could, his weapon was sent flying through the air, where it harmlessly clatter on the ground. There, Jaune had catched, Ruben by the neck, and was holding in the air by his as he struggled to break free.

Jaune: Is that seriously the best you can do?! You’re nowhere as near as fast as my, Ruby, and you have no idea how to use your goddamn semblance!!!

Jaune raised him the air before slamming him into the ground, shattering the floor upon impact. Ruben cried in pain as he felt his head be buried into the cement. He was about to get up but he was pushed down deeper into the dirt as he felt, Jaune stomped down on his face. Ruben tried to get up, but as he felt his aura shatter, and the crunching sound of his nose breaking, all he could do was embrace the black void as it took him.

Jaune scoffed in disgust as he moved his foot away from, Ruben’s broken face. Disgust at how pathetically weak these boys were, or how brutal he was taking them down. No doubt the later, these people brought out the worse in him.

Jaune heard a whistling in the air as he was knocked off his feet, and sent flying. He rolled on his back, looking back he saw a crater of smoke, and ash as, he looked to see, William standing there, no doubt having sent him flying with his dust. Before, Jaune could react, he felt something hit the side of his head, making the world around him start ringing in pain as he saw, Pyrros stand before him.

Pyrros: Enough! Stand down, Arc!

Jaune: Arc?! Ha! I thought it was, ‘failure?’ Tell me, am I really such a failure now?

Pyrros: I’ll admit you’re better then last time we fought! But your aura is low, and your nearly exhausted! Surrender now, or face the consequences!

Jaune: Hahaha! Is it now…?

Jaune continues to laugh as he stood up. A whte light enveloped his body as he felt his aura recharge, and what minor bruises he had across his body disappear, making William, and Pyrros recoiled in shock at the sight before them.

William: W-What the hell?!

Pyrros: Is that a semblance?!

Jaune: That’s correct! My semblance allows me to supplement the aura of another, boost the power of their semblance, and recharge my own! And I got this nifty semblance after nearly getting, Weiss killed?! Isn’t that great?!!

William: Shit! That’s a powerful semblance!

Pyrros: Powerful, or not! We can still take him!

Jaune: Can you? Because the only difference between you, and, Pyrrha is that you are a massive dick!

Pyrros: Just bring it you…?! Whoa?!

Jaune remembered his training with, Pyrrha, oh he remembered it all too well. Deciding not to give him the advantage, Jaune converted his sword, and shield into it’s bastard sword version, and charged, Pyrros. Bringing down the heavy weapon upon his sword.

Pyrros knees buckled under the attack, quickly rolling away as, Jaune ruthlessly launched attack, after attack at the spartan. But, as they fought, Pyrros couldn’t help, but feel unnerved as he heard, Jaune’s laughter grow ever louder in his ears.

Pyrros: The hell is so funny?!

Jaune: You! Hahaha!! You fight just like her! Using your semblance to divert my attacks ever so slightly, never allowing an attack to properly connect! Such control, such percussion! You’ll die just like she did at this rate!!! Hahaha?!!

Pyrros: What…?

That one second, that one second that, Pyrros flinched was all that, Jaune needed to end this fight.

Jaune struck harder than before, knocking Pyrros to the ground. Before, Pyrros could get back on his feet, he felt himself being picked up, an armed wrapped around his neck, and a hand covering his mouth with a vice like grip. He could feel the oxygen leave his lungs as he felt himself fall to the ground with a dull thud unconcerned.

William: H-H-How are you strong?! You were nothing like this last time we met?!

Jaune: Hehehe~! You fought people who wanted to train you in how to fight! I fought those who wanted to kill me! There’s a world of difference in what you learn from those! For example, Weiss can call forth summons! Not little Beowulfs, and the like, but massive, Chimera’s! Can you do that, Willy?! Can you do anything close to that?!!

William would have retorted him if he could, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t do anything like that. What the hell had he gone through, let alone the people of his world had gone through to create such monsters?

Jaune: Nooo…? Ha! Pathetic! Now then, call your sister, or you’ll end ip just like the rest of them!

Before, William could refuse his demand, a cry came out to his left, from a person he was all to happy to see; His older sister, Winter Schnee.

Winter: Hey! Get away from my brother!

Jaune: Ahhh~! Specialist, Winter Schnee! Just the woman I was looking for! Tell me, where is, Cinder Fall! I was told you could find her for me!

Winter shot him an inquisitive stare as she levelled her weapon at him.

Winter: What do you want with, Specialist Fall?

Jaune: S-S-Specialist… F-Fall…? Hehehe?! S-She’s a, Specialist?!

Winter: She has been a highly decorated, Specialist for years now! Now I asked again; what do you want with, Specialist Fall!

The word echoed through his mind as it shattered into thousands of pieces as all could hear is his mad laughter.

Jaune: Specialist?! Hahah?! You get a fucking, Specialist, while I get a raving, power hungry murdering psychopath?! HAHAHAHA?!!

The, Schnee siblings could on stare on in fear as, the watched the boy break down in maddening laughter as he howled at the sky.

Jaune: Why?! Hahahaha?! Why! Why the fuck is this world so NICE?!! Why is it like this?! W-Who made this world this way?!!

Jaune raised his head to the sky as he let loose a blood curdling scream! But, as his scream echoed into oblivion, he saw his salvation. Or, more precisely, what could lead to his salvation.

Jaune: W-Who indeed…?! Hahaha-HAHAHAHAAA!!!

And, with a mad cackle, Jaune made a mad dash away, and while, Winter, and William wanted to chase after him, the rest of, William’s team, and Pyrros needed their attention. They would have to deal with the mad knight latter.

~~~

Beacon Tower. A tower that overlooked all that lay beneath it. Within it rested the office of, Headmistress Selma’s office. A room where hundreds are secrets were kept, where they will stay secret. But, as a broken man rode up the elevator her secrets would soon be divulged.

(Ding~!)

Selma: Hmm? Did I have a meeting scheduled for today?

As soon as the door opened, Jaune Arc rushed forward and slammed his hands on her desk as he shouted at her with a mad, a desperate look in his eyes as he stared at the, Headmistress.

Jaune: SALEM!!!

Selma: Hello again, Mr. Arc. Are you well, you look… quite stressed…? And, for the record, its, Headmistress Selma.

Jaune: Don’t give me that bullshit! I know you’re real name is, Salem! You’re a thousands year old woman, who tried to get the, God of Light to bring back your dead husband! He refused then you went to the, God of Darkness, who agreed to bring him back, then the God of Light came, and said you can’t do that! They then cursed you with immortality with a bullshit talk about learning to understand life, and the balance of life, which is bullshit when you throw an immortal into it! You then lead the humans in a rebellion against the Gods to spite them! They threw a fit, took the magic back, and blew up the moon! Then you wondered the world for thousands of years, had enough, threw yourself into a, Grimm pit, and become some sort of Grimm-Hybrid! Then they brought, Ozma back! Despite that whole balance bullshit! Then you reunited, had kids, had a fight your kids died, and now were stuck in some stupid ass shadow war the worse divorce in history ever created! And, its being fought by an immortal witch, and a mind stealing parasitic bastard!

Selma stared at the boy before her, her mouth agape as she stared at him in utter disbelief.

Selma: H-How the hell do you know all of that…?!

Jaune: Jinn! Ruby, asked, Jinn what, Ozma was hiding from them, so I learned the whole truth! T-Though it might be slightly different in this world…

Selma: You are correct, Mr. Arc. Mostly correct, but correct nonetheless. The differences are that I never threw myself into a pit of, Grimm. So I never became this Grimm-Hybrid you spoke off. And, Ozma did come back to me. But, it wasn’t the, Ozma I knew…

Jaune: What happened then?

Selma: He became obsessed with my immortality. He wanted to live forever, and started doing experiments behind my back ways he could gain his immortality. He eventually became the brain parasite you spoke off… by experimenting on our own children… Then we fought, and there I lost my children…

Jaune: I’m sorry to hear that… B-But, did you defeat him?!

Selma: Excuse me?

Jaune: Is… It still out there?! Are you in the middle of a shadow war with him! What has happened to your, Ozma?!

Selma: Since you are aware of, Jinn I can assume uou are aware of the other relics?

Jaune: Yes; The Sword of Destruction, The Staff of Creation, The Crown of Choice, and Lamp of Knowledge!

Selma: I see… Well then, Ozma is in a prison. A prison I created with the, Staff of Creation. A prison he will stay asleep in forever, that only I now the location of, and that only I can open. But, tell me, Mr. Arc, why do you want to know all of this…?

Jaune: When did you capture him…?

Selma: A hundred years after his return. It was difficult to do since I couldn’t kill him, but I managed it in the end. He has been locked away for nearly… 820 years now.

As, Selma finished speaking, she couldn’t help but feel as if she said something she shouldn’t have said as she watched a crooked smile broke across his face. His eyes had this far off, and wild look in them as he started to laugh, as he ran his fingers through his hair as a wave of madness set in.

Selma: Jaune…? Jaune, what’s wrong?!

Jaune: Haha?! Hahahahaha~?!! Y-You’re fucking with me?! T-T-This is all some sort of mad joke?! Isn’t it?! Haha?!!

Selma: Jaune, tell me; Tell me what’s wrong?

At this point, Selma stood up, and started to approach, Jaune. All the while he ran his fingers through his hair as he laughed qt the cruel world he was forced to live in.

Jaune: Beacon still stands?! No, Fall?! Hahaha?!!

Selma: Fall? What fell, Jaune, tell me.

Jaune: Beacon! Hahaha!

Jaune held his hands out he spun about, gesturing to all around him as his laughter broke into tears.

Jaune: My, Beacon fell?! Salem, and her minions attacked it! It fell in a single night, and now its a, Grimm infested hellhole! But, this place is still standing just fine?!

Selma saw the door to the elevator open, and she saw, Rin, and Nora rush in. They were about to rush over to, Jaune, and speak with him, but Selma frantically gestured for them to be silent. All the while, Jaune continued to rave on.

Jaune: The, White Fang are a bunch of peaceful equality rights activists in this world. Unlike in my world where they’re a bunch of race supremacists terrorists?!

Rin, and Nora recoiled in shock, the idea of the faunas being like that was an impossible thought for them to comprehend. They couldn’t even imagine what horrors the faunas went through in his world to be pushed to such extremes.

Jaune: Hundreds, no thousands, tens of thousands of innocent people still alive because some stupid little shadow war never happened?!

Selma: Jaune, Jaune listen to me…?!

Selma’s words were interrupted as the door to the elevator opened once mire as she saw Team RWBY, Pyrros Nikos, and Specialist Winter Schnee came running in, Shoving, Nora, and Rin aside weapons held at the ready as the surrounded, Jaune as he descended into his raving madness.

Selma: W-What is this?! What are you doing here?!

Winter: I’m sorry, Headmistress! Were here to detain this person!

Selma: Detain him, why?

Winter: He vicious attacked the students before you before coming here. He is a dangerous criminal who needs to be apprehended!

Selma: Attacked?!

Selma then looked at the students assembled before her; bruised, bloodied, and battered. Ruben Rose nose clearly has been bandaged, no doubt from a broken nose. She couldn’t help, but wonder what pushed, Arc to go this far to hurt her students like so. But based on his ravings; it could have been any number of things.

Jaune: Ahhhahaha!!! Why?! Why does a perfect world such as this one exist?! Where everyone I know is alive, and happy, where as everyone in mine is dead?! Why?n! Why must I experience this waking hell! Why?! Why?!!! WHYYYYYYY?!!!!

And, with that unimaginable cry of grief, and sorrow, Jaune Arc, the Huntsman lost in a world completely opposite to his own, fell to his knees. A lost void less gaze filled his eyes as nothing, but waves of tears fell down his eyes unto the glass floor.

They all stared on at the broken boy as he cried his heart out. All utterly lost at the unfathomable pain, and lost this poor boy had endured. And, in the blink of an eye he was gone, and in his place returned, Jeanne Arc as she fell to the floor. She slowly propter herself up, staring at her friends they held their weapons pointed at her. All of them starred for a moment before, Selma decided to speak up.

Selma: J-Jeanne is that you? Are you okay?

Jeanne stared at them all, her eyes wide as she startled to sniffle. Her hands cupping her face as tears fell from eyes. Her loud cries of grief cause most to move back, moving their weapons away as, Rin, and Nora rushed forward, wrapping their arms around their heart broken friend. Muttering the same words over, and over again under her breath.

Jeanne: I’m sorry… I’m sorry… I’m so sorry, we had to meet, Jaune… I’m sorry…

And, Selma… Salem, just like her, couldn’t help but feel sorry for the broken boy, and whatever hell he had been forces to endure. To come from a world where many of the people he knew were dead, the places he’d seen were nothing but rubble. To a world where everything was still intact, where everyone was still was alive. Must have been mind breaking.

And, based on what she had just seen; Jaune’s mind wasn’t just broken, but his soul was too. And, that filled, Selma with more dread than she knew she could possibly experience.

More than any person should experience.

///

Ha! Finished?! This has been in the work for days! And, its finally finished!

Hahahah!

Ha haaa…

Owww…

Damn my hand is bugging me. I’m gonna go work on something simpler next.

Enjoy~!

[gaybananabread]

For AugTickleTober: perhaps 25, with Luz as the lee and Amity as the ler?

I got into a huge Lee mood writing this, so I'm gonna go die now. Enjoy!

I'M DONE WITH TICKLETOBER LET'S GOOOOOO

Lee: Luz

Ler: Amity

Summary: Luz has been pushing Amity's buttons, so she presses buttons of her own.

Warnings: none! This is a tickle fic, so if you don't like that, scroll away!

"Heeeey Amity~" Luz had been messing with Amity all morning. Normally, she wouldn't have a problem with it, but Titan, today was bad. She "borrowed" an abomination and tried to make it into a suit for "ultimate hugs". She just got abonimation goo everywhere.

She stole a few books to make a training course, but a misplaced fire glyf ended with a lot of water and smoke. She apologized, but started to sing-song her name every ten minutes.

Amity was up to here with her.

"Aaaaaamityy~" She snapped her book shut, summoning an abomination about as big as Luz. Getting the message, Luz tried tried run, but the abomination grabbed her and held her still.

"You have been bugging me all day. I've tried asking, but you won't tell me. I've tried reasoning, ignoring, bargaining, everything! Now, it's time for me to push your buttons." She poked Luz in the belly, and the human understood.

"W-wait! Amity! I'm sorry, won't do it again, promise!" If Amity didn't know better, she might've let her go. But she did. She knew she liked it, and she knew Luz wouldn't stop. "Yeah, no."

Ten wiggly fingers descended on her torso, and she burst out laughing, not even trying to hold back. Luz tried to squirm, but the purple goo held her firmly in place. "AHAHAHAMITY!" She decided she was gonna be mean. "Luuuuuuz!"

She moved to Luz's sides, poking the left one with just one finger. "Hey Luz, is this side ticklish?" She giggled, nodding. The. She went to the right side. "What about this one?" Luz kept giggling, hiding her face. "They're both ticklish? Well, guess I gotta tickle them both! Don't want one to feel left out."

She started squeasing along both sides, drawing more happy laughter from Luz. She had given up on escaping, just sitting there and taking it. Honestly, she had been trying to get her girlfriend to do this all day. Might as well enjoy it to the fullest.

"You know, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you enjoy this. Do you, Luz?" She squeaked, dissolving into more happy laughter as she went back to squeasing her sides. "Come on, I need you to speak clearly."

Luz shook her head wildly. "IHIHI CAHAHAN'T! YOU'RE TIHIHICKLING MEHEHE!" Amity tsk-ed. "Excuses. If you don't answer me, I'm going going your ribs." Luz's face went bright red. Her ribs were her death spot, and knew that Amity would 100% keep her word.

"YEHEHES!" Amity sent her a smirk. "Yes what?" Luz groaned. "IHIHI- BAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAMITY!" Two hands were clawing at her ribs, vibrating between every bone, sending ticklish shocks throughout Luz's entire body. "You took too long. I got bored."

The constant change in feeling on her ribs was torturous. She couldn't decide if she loved or hated it. Tugging and thrashing, she tried again to escape her goopy prison. She failed miserably.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHA! NOHOHOHO!" Amity shrugged. "I guess incould stop. But only if you say 'I'm adorable and love being tickled'." It was extremely unrealistic, but would be fun to watch her try.

"IHIHI'M ADOHOHORABLE AHAND- GAH! AHAHAHA!" Amity had sent some of the abomination goo up to her armpits, willing it to wiggle around and tickle her. If they didn't do this so often, she wouldn't have done that much. But they had, and it took a lot to properly tire Luz out.

"NOHOHO FAHAIR! CHEHEHEATER!" She let out a  drama-tized gasp. "A cheater! If I'm a cheater, than I might NEVER stop tickling you! No matter how many times you say it!" Luz could barely think straight, and talking with her brain was almost impossible.

"NOHOHO! NOHOHO MOHORE TIHICKLES!" She could see that Luz was reaching her limit. She went back down to her belly, only using one hand. Luz was still giggling up a storm, but it was enough to let her speak.

"Ihihi'm ahahadorable and lohohove- ahaha! Lohove beheheing tihihickled!" Amity stopped as soon as she finished the phrase, releasing her from the goo. She was slowly lowered to the ground, giggling the whole way down. Amity went over and hugged her, rubbing at her torso, trying to numb the ghost tickles.

"Next time, just ask. I wouldn't have been so mean if you would've asked me for tickles." She nodded, snuggling into her girlfriend's warmth. Amity summoned over some pillows and a blanket, setting them up on the floor into a makeshift nest.

They got comfortable, cuddling up with eachother. Falling asleep in eachother's arms wasn't a bad way to end the day.

[tastybluesprite]

New findings

Pretty sure this is my first Moon Knight tickle fanfic. I love Marc/Steven and Layla though so I had to!!! They are the best ❤️

Warnings: none besides mild cursing and just that this is a tickling fic so if that makes you uncomfortable feel free not to read.

Summery: Layla finds out something about her dear husband.

“Is it difficult sharing a body with Steven?” Layla asked Marc when they were in his apartment. “Yeah sometimes. He can be a little difficult.” Marc replied with a sigh. “Hey! I am right here yknow…” Steven interjected from Marc’s consciousness. “You can hear him in your head?” Layla asked. “Oh yeah we talk a lot through my… our… head.”

“Is it hard to decide between you two, who should have control?” She asked.

“What’s with all the questions?” Marc asked with a slight chuckle. “Well… yknow… I’m just curious… I never even knew about Steven till now. There’s still a lot I don’t know about him and how it works between you. Like are there physical traits you share? Like pain tolerances and stuff?”

Marc thought about that, “Yeah I suppose we have about the same in that case. Wait.. you’re not threatening me are you?” He asked his wife suspiciously. Layla just laughed, “no of course not. Although….”

Marc raised and eyebrow and cautiously stepped back, “although?”

“Well from what Iearned about Steven, he’s super ticklish… and if you guys have similar traits…” Layla poked him in the belly, at which Marc flinched away while letting out an uncontrollable squeak.

“Aha!” Layla yelled in triumph. “Layla… please, don’t do this…” Marc began to back away. Layla then jumped on Marc, making him lose his balance and fall flat on his back. He then bursted into a fit of giggles when Layla began to scribble her nails into his sides. “How come I never knew till now that the Marc Spector is ticklish? Even before I knew about Steven.”

“Yohohohu nehehveher ahahsked!” Marc said through his giggling. Layla rolled her eyes, “don’t give me that bullshit! I know you’d have denied it.”

Marc would’ve retaliated, accept he then became lost in actual laughter when Layla began to dig into his armpits. Marc tried to stop her hands by clamping his arms firmly to his side, but it didn’t help.

“LAHahaHAyla! StohoOHOHP AHAHAHA!”

While he pleaded for her to stop, Layla went down only a little bit, digging into the ribs right below, causing him to explode in hysterical laughter. “NOHOHOHO!!!” He screamed out.

“Uh oh… someone is extremely ticklish here…” Layla teased as she honed in more on that hyper sensitive spot.

“S-STEHEHEVEHEN TAHAHAKE OHOHOHVEHER!!!” Marc cried desperately. “Nuh uh, not a chance mate,” Steven told him through the body’s consciousness, “Im not getting caught in that. You’re on your own.”

Layla just laughed at Marc’s desperate attempts to make the sensations stop. Though eventually she saw it was becoming too much for him so she did stop.

Marc panted heavily, trying hard to catch his breath. He felt like he just did an entire workout session. “You… are.. horrible…” he told Layla. “You love me.” She said, giving him a kiss. He grinned, “yeah…”

[thecringemachine]

Whatcha doing today

I'm look forward to see a cute ninjago tickle story

And we want another one about Lloyd

We are about to go shopping, but before we do that Imma do something.

Lee!Zane Ler!Lloyd! Here you go!

I hope you like it @dutifullyshamelessninja!!!

Lloyd found Pixel in the headquarters under the monastery. She was working out some kinks in the Land Bounty. She looked up from her work as Lloyd walked in.

“Lloyd? What is it?” She asked as Lloyd came over. He waved.

“Hey, Pixal. I was wondering, do you have those shurikens that you showed me a while back?” He asked. Pixal gave him a confused look, but nodded.

“Yes.” She replied, but glanced at him suspiciously. “Why?” He shrugged.

“I just thought they were really cool, and I wanted to use them in the training area with the others.” He replied coolly. Pixal pondered this for a moment, then nodded.

“Alright then, I’ll go get them.” She said, putting her tools down and running off. Lloyd only waited for a minute when she produced a box with four sets.

“I had only managed to make four sets, will it be enough?” She asked. Lloyd nodded.

“Of course. We can take turns.” He replied, before walking off with them. In truth, he had no intentions of using these for training. The shurikens, when you threw them, transformed into cuffs that stuck to walls, so you could trap someone against it. He planned to use these on Zane.

Zane had ‘helped’ him earlier that week with a lee mood, but he had done it and teased Lloyd as much as possible, and he wanted payback. Zane was in his room reading, and he, humorously, looked up almost exactly as Pixal did. Lloyd smiled and put the box down.

“What do you need Lloyd?” He asked. Lloyd picked up two shurikens.

“C’mere, I want to show you these cool shurikens Pixal is letting me borrow.”he replied. Zane got up and examined the shurikens quickly before handing them back to Lloyd.

“They are quite a masterpiece,” he said. Lloyd nodded.

“Yeah. Here I’ll show you how they work. Stand back.” He said. Zane backed up, close to a wall for his room wasn’t all that large. Lloyd pulled his arm back to throw it at another wall, but instead turned quickly and threw it at Zane.

Zane couldn’t react in time. Even he isn’t any match for Lloyd’s reflexes. As they pinned his wrists to the wall, they transformed into the cuffs. He struggled against them, but couldn’t escape. He looked at Lloyd nervously.

“Lloyd! Why are you doing this?” He asked. Lloyd gave him a stern look.

“Because you had a great time making fun of me when you helped me with my lee mood, so I’m getting payback.” He replied as he walked toward him. Zane’s eyes widened and he struggled with renewed efforts, but then Lloyd poked his sides. He jumped and giggled. Lloyd couldn’t help but smile at the rich sound.

“Llohohoyd! Dohon’t.” he giggled. Lloyd raised his eyebrows. He had said the same thing.

“Huh, I remember saying that to you, and what did you do?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at his nindroid brother. Zane’s eyes widened. Lloyd smirked and resumed his tickling, squeezing Zane’s hips. Zane gasped and his laughter grew. Everyone Zane knew loved his laugh, and he found himself enjoying this experience. Lloyd saw this and took his chance. 

“ You like this don’t you? Well, who am I to disappoint.” he said mischievously as he dug his fingers under Zane’s arms. Zane buckled with a funny-sounding squeal and soon the only things holding him up were the cuffs against the wall.

“LLOHOHOYD! NOHOHO!” Zane laughed. He started struggling harder, trying desperately to get away from this ticklish assault. But, as much as he wanted it to end, he was enjoying it. He re-

“AAAAAAAH! NOHOHOT THEHEHERE!” Zane shouted as Lloyd moved his hands up under his arms. Dang it. He used my tactic! Zane laughed hysterically, unable to bring his arms down to protect himself. Lloyd smirked and kept up the torture.

“Are you sorry?” He asked. Zane nodded as he laughed.

“YEHEHES! I AHAHAHA!” Zane could barely get the words out.

“What was that? I couldn’t understand.” Lloyd said teasingly. Zane tried to glare at him, but all it turned into was a silly grin as more laughter poured out of him. He squeaked as Lloyd traced over his ribs and stomach.

“IHIHI’M SOHORRY! JUHUST PLEHEHEASE STAHAHAAAP!” Zane shouted. Lloyd, satisfied, stopped tickling him and pulled the cuffs off. Zane collapsed to the floor, still giggling as the tingling subsided. Lloyd put the cuffs, which had now turned back into shurikens, down and sat beside him.

“Love you, Zane.” He said quietly as he wrapped his arms around his waist and snuggled against him.

“I love you too Lloyd.” he replied, returning the hug. Soon, they were both fast asleep. Later, Sensei Wu walked by and peeked in and found them both. He chuckled and left them alone. He sometimes couldn’t believe how close the ninja were.