#and she woulda believed me | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

satansdarlin · 21 days ago

Note

can i PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE have a fic where gambit and reader have a baby/kid, i don't care about anything else i just want a kid with that man PLEASE (I am on my hands and kness begging you)

Pa's Lil spade

I know this is a bit more than you asked for but I went nuts with it. You are so fr for wanting a baby with this man (me too nonny me too). The reader is a mutant but I left that up to whatever you guys want. It is implied to be AFAB reader with how they refer to them but nothing is explicitly depicted. Could be read as a follow up to royal flush or a stand alone

Rating: T

Word count: 4.9k

Warnings: bad French, some anti mutant bull, remy being the best dad to cure my daddy issues, pure family fluff with a little angst, talk of explosions

If you liked this check of my masterlist or put in a request if they are open

You padded through the quiet house in the early morning. Remy had been missing from the bed when you woke up, but you had a feeling you knew exactly where to find him. Pushing open the door to the nursery, you paused in the doorway, taking in the tender scene before you. Morning light filtered softly through the curtains, casting a gentle glow over Remy as he cradled your one-month-old daughter in his arms, her tiny form still peacefully asleep.

"Mon Dieu," he whispered as he heard you enter, his voice thick with emotion. "Remy never expected 'er to be so... petit."

"She is small," you agreed softly, moving closer to them. "A tiny little miracle."

Remy turned to face you, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "She's perfect, ain't she?" he said, gazing down at the small, sleeping bundle in his arms.

"Absolutely perfect," you agreed, watching your husband hold your daughter with such reverence that your heart swelled. You knew he'd probably stand there holding her for hours if he could, perfectly content.

He chuckled softly, his attention never wavering from the baby. With infinite gentleness, he stroked her velvet-soft cheek with one finger. "She goin' be a troublemaker, Remy can tell already," he said with a knowing smirk.

"Wonder where she'll get that from," you laughed softly, reaching up to kiss his cheek.

He feigned shock, placing his free hand over his heart with dramatic flair. "Remy, trouble? Never," he protested, shaking his head with exaggerated innocence before pulling you closer with his free arm, that familiar mischievous grin spreading across his face.

"You're a poor liar, mon cœur," you hummed, gazing down at your daughter. Your little Spade. You'd had to talk him down from naming her Queenie – Remy's taste in baby names had been a bit more... eccentric.

"Can't believe you made Remy change the name," he pouted, though his eyes never left their daughter's face as he traced her features with a gentle finger. "Queenie woulda been a good name," he added teasingly.

"Spade is perfect," you said, playfully rolling your eyes.

He let out an exaggerated sigh of defeat, though he couldn't quite hide his smile. "You're right, cher. Spade is perfect," he admitted, gently rocking the bundle in his arms.

"I'll go make breakfast," you said softly, reluctantly pulling away from their warmth. In the kitchen, you found yourself wrestling with the baby-proofed cabinets. You'd tried telling Remy there was no way Spade would be getting into cabinets when she could barely roll over, but he'd insisted on "better safe than sorry."

From the living room, Remy's teasing voice called out, "Careful, darlin', you might get trapped in there!"

"And whose fault would that be?" you called back. The sound of your voices stirred Spade, who responded with happy coos directed up at her father.

Remy's expression melted at the sound. "Not Remy's fault if you're too weak to open a cabinet, cher," he teased, though his voice was warm with affection.

"I'm gonna baby-proof your bedside table," you threatened playfully as you finally conquered the cabinet. In response, Spade began wiggling energetically in her father's arms.

Remy clutched dramatically at his chest with his free hand. "Not the bedside table, cher, that's low!"

As you started on breakfast, Remy found himself locked in battle with an infant determined to make a meal of his shirt. He tried redirecting her attention to a soft, chewable toy, but Spade remained fixated on her chosen target.

"Why does she only want to eat Remy's shirt and not the damn toy?" he grumbled in French, looking up at you with clear frustration.

"She's gotta soften her pa up to eat him when she's big enough," you quipped back.

Remy rolled his eyes but couldn't help chuckling. "Remy is not on the menu," he protested, still struggling to keep his shirt out of Spade's surprisingly strong grip.

"She doesn't seem to agree," you laughed, watching your husband's losing battle with your determined daughter.

"How can one little baby be so strong?" he complained, shooting you a desperate look.

Taking pity on him, you crossed the room and, with perfect timing, swapped his shirt for her pacifier just as she was about to chomp down. "Baby strength is no joke, hubs."

Remy sagged with relief as Spade happily accepted the pacifier, her mission to devour his shirt temporarily forgotten. "Thanks, cher," he said, flashing you a grateful smile. "Remy was about to lose his shirt there."

"And if Remy doesn't do something about the mosquito catcher on the fritz, he'll have to do more than worry about one baby-slobbered shirt – he'll have to do all his laundry," you warned playfully before returning to the stove.

Panic flashed across his face at the prospect. "Damn, okay, okay, Remy'll fix it," he quickly agreed, bouncing Spade gently in his arms. The laundry threat never failed.

"Good. 'Cause I can't even step outside without being eaten alive," you grumbled. "I told you the kiddy pool was a bad idea."

Remy chuckled sheepishly. "Remy didn't know the mosquitoes would love it so much," he admitted, guilt coloring his voice as he patted Spade's back, deliberately avoiding your pointed look.

The sizzle of bacon filled the kitchen as you worked at the stove. Remy wandered in, still cradling Spade, who had finally given up her campaign against his shirt in favor of contentedly gumming her pacifier.

"Smells good, cher," he said, peering over your shoulder. "Need Remy to set the table?" He shifted Spade to one arm, already reaching for plates with his free hand.

"If you can manage without putting our daughter down for two seconds," you teased, glancing back at him with a knowing smile.

Remy huffed indignantly. "Remy is perfectly capable of multitasking," he declared, though his grip on Spade remained secure as ever. As if to prove his point, he began one-handedly arranging plates and silverware on the table, adding a little flourish as he set down each item.

"Show-off," you muttered fondly, hiding your smile as you flipped the bacon.

"You love it," he shot back with a wink, his red-on-black eyes gleaming with mischief. Spade chose that moment to spit out her pacifier, which Remy caught with lightning-quick reflexes before it hit the floor. "Ha! See? Master of multitasking!"

"My hero," you deadpanned, but couldn't help laughing at his triumphant expression.

The morning sunlight had grown stronger now, streaming through the kitchen windows and catching the auburn highlights in Remy's hair. Spade reached up, trying to grab at the light playing across her father's face, making happy gurgling sounds.

"What you reaching for, petit?" Remy cooed, bouncing her gently. "You trying to catch the sun? Just like your papa, always reaching for things you shouldn't."

"Speaking of things we shouldn't reach for," you said, sliding the last of the bacon onto a plate, "I saw you trying to teach her how to shuffle cards yesterday."

Remy had the grace to look slightly embarrassed. "Was just showing her the basics, cher. Never too early to learn."

"She's a month old, Remy."

"And already showing great potential!" he insisted, grinning as Spade grabbed his finger and tried to stuff it in her mouth. "See? She's got quick hands!"

You shook your head, carrying plates to the table. "No daughter of mine is going to be running card scams before she can walk."

"Of course not," Remy agreed too quickly. "Maybe after she walks though..."

"Remy LeBeau!"

He laughed, dancing away from your mock-threatening spatula. "Remy's kidding! Mostly," he added under his breath, pressing a kiss to Spade's forehead as she yawned widely.

"I heard that," you warned, but couldn't keep the smile from your voice. "Now sit down before breakfast gets cold. And yes, you have to put her in her bouncer."

Remy pouted but carefully settled Spade into her bouncer next to the table, making sure she could still see both of you. "There you go, petit. Watch your old papa eat his breakfast before your maman makes him fix that mosquito trap."

"And the gutters," you added sweetly, passing him the coffee.

He nearly choked on his first sip. "The gutters? Remy didn't hear nothing about gutters!"

"Must have slipped my mind," you said innocently. "But while you're up there..."

"This is blackmail," he grumbled, but his eyes were twinkling as he watched you over the rim of his coffee cup.

"I prefer to think of it as creative motivation," you replied, reaching over to wipe a bit of drool from Spade's chin as she watched you both with wide eyes.

"You're lucky Remy loves you both so much," he said, his mock complaint softened by the genuine warmth in his voice.

"We know," you smiled, reaching across to squeeze his hand. "And we love you too, even if you do install unnecessary baby-proofing and create mosquito breeding grounds in the backyard."

"Remy's never going to live down that kiddie pool, is he?"

"Not a chance, mon cœur. Not a chance."

--- Two Years Later ---

"Spade Charlotte LeBeau, you get back here right now!"

Your toddler's delighted giggle echoed through the house as she zoomed around the corner, still in her pajamas, clutching one of Remy's playing cards in her tiny fist. Her dark hair bounced in messy curls around her face, and her red-on-black eyes – so like her father's – sparkled with mischief.

"Non!" she called back in a perfect imitation of Remy's accent, disappearing into the living room.

You shot your husband an accusatory look as he leaned against the doorframe, trying and failing to hide his proud grin. "This is your fault. She's picking up your accent AND your sticky fingers."

"Remy has no idea what you mean, cher," he said innocently, but the effect was ruined by his barely contained laughter. "Though you got to admit, her form is getting better."

"She's two, Remy. She shouldn't have any 'form' for stealing."

"Borrowing," he corrected automatically. "And did you see how smooth that lift was? Didn't even feel her take it from Remy's pocket."

A crash from the living room interrupted your response, followed by a small "Uh oh."

Both of you rushed in to find Spade standing amid a scatter of books from the fallen bookshelf, still clutching the Queen of Hearts. She looked up at you with wide eyes, lower lip trembling slightly.

"Accident?" she offered hopefully, in that same Cajun lilt that made it impossible to stay mad at her – a fact she had definitely figured out and used to her advantage.

Remy scooped her up before you could respond. "What's the rule about climbing, petit?"

"Only climb with Papa?" she tried, wrapping her arms around his neck and batting her eyelashes.

"The real rule," you prompted, trying to keep a stern face despite how adorable she looked.

Spade sighed dramatically – another trait she'd picked up from Remy. "No climbing furniture 'cause it's dangerous an' Maman will make Papa sleep on the couch."

"That's right," you nodded, then paused. "Wait, who taught you that last part?"

"Papa did!" she announced proudly, while Remy suddenly became very interested in straightening her pajama top.

You shook your head, bending to pick up the scattered books. "And what do we say when we make a mess, baby?"

"Sorry, Maman," she said, looking genuinely contrite now. Then she held out the playing card. "An' sorry I took Papa's card."

"Good girl," you smiled, kissing her forehead. "Now, how about breakfast?"

"Beignets!" Spade cheered, bouncing in Remy's arms.

"Non, petit," Remy chuckled. "Remember what happened last time? You got powdered sugar everywhere."

"But Papa," she whined, giving him the puppy-dog eyes that usually worked like a charm. "You said I was getting better at being sneaky quiet! I can be sneaky quiet with beignets!"

You raised an eyebrow at Remy. "Oh? Teaching our toddler to be 'sneaky quiet' now, are we?"

He had the decency to look sheepish. "Just... general life skills?"

"Down!" Spade demanded suddenly, squirming in his arms. The moment her feet touched the ground, she was off again, this time making a beeline for the kitchen.

"She's not..." Remy started.

"Going for the lower cabinet where you hide the beignet mix?" you finished. "The one you think I don't know about?"

A clatter from the kitchen confirmed your suspicions, followed by Spade's triumphant "Found it!"

"Now that," Remy said admiringly, "she definitely got from you, cher. Remy's not nearly that good at finding hiding spots."

"Keep telling yourself that, hun," you laughed, heading to the kitchen where your daughter was already trying to climb onto the counter. "Though we might need to work on her subtlety."

"Subtlety comes later," Remy assured you, catching Spade mid-climb. "Right after we teach her proper card handling and basic lock picking."

"Remy!"

"Kidding!" he protested, then whispered loudly to Spade, "We'll talk about it when you're three."

Spade giggled, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Promise, Papa?"

"Promise, petit. Now, how about we make Maman some proper breakfast to make up for the bookshelf incident?"

"Can we make it explode?" Spade asked hopefully.

"NO!" you both shouted, remembering all too well the "glowing" pancake incident from last month.

"Just a little boom?" she bargained, making her eyes go wide and innocent.

--- Ten Years Later ---

The first sign something was wrong came at breakfast. Spade sat hunched over her untouched cereal, her normally bright red-on-black eyes dulled with discomfort. At twelve, she was all gangly limbs and attitude, her dark curls pulled back in a messy ponytail.

"You feeling okay, petit?" Remy asked, concern evident in his voice as he watched her push the cereal around her bowl.

"M'fine," she mumbled, then winced and pressed a hand to her stomach. "Just... crampy."

You and Remy exchanged a knowing look. You'd been expecting this, had prepared for it, but somehow it still felt surreal that your baby was growing up so fast.

"Why don't you go lay down, sweet?" you suggested gently. "I'll bring you some pain medicine and a heating pad."

Spade nodded miserably and stood up – then froze, her face flushing red. "Maman," she whispered, panic in her voice. "I need... I think I..."

"Go on to the bathroom, baby. I'll be right there," you assured her, already heading for the cabinet where you'd stashed supplies months ago.

Remy looked slightly panicked himself. "Should Remy... do something?"

"You can start by not freaking out," you told him with a small smile. "Remember what we talked about?"

He nodded, taking a deep breath. "Oui. Normal, natural, nothing to be embarrassed about."

"Good man. Now go call the school and let them know she's staying home today."

As you headed to the bathroom with supplies, you heard Spade sniffling. "Maman? This really sucks."

"I know, baby," you said softly, letting yourself in. "But we've got this, okay? Let me show you..."

Twenty minutes later, Spade was curled up on the couch in fresh clothes, a heating pad pressed to her stomach, while Remy hovered nearby like an anxious mother hen.

"Papa, you're being weird," she grumbled, though there was affection in her voice.

"Remy's not being weird," he protested. "Remy's being... supportive."

"You've asked if I'm okay twelve times in ten minutes."

"Because Remy loves you, petit," he said, dropping a kiss on her forehead. "Even if you're growing up too fast."

She rolled her eyes but smiled – then suddenly yelped as the TV remote in her hand began to glow with a familiar magenta energy.

"Papa?" she asked, voice shaking as the glow intensified.

Remy moved fast, snatching the remote and absorbing the charge before it could explode. "Well," he said, trying to keep his voice light, "looks like you're getting more than one kind of change today, petit."

"Is... is that what your power feels like?" Spade asked, staring at her hands in wonder and fear. "Like everything's buzzing under your skin?"

"That's right," Remy nodded, sitting beside her. "Been wondering if you'd inherit that particular family trait."

You joined them on the couch, wrapping an arm around Spade's shoulders. "How are you feeling, baby? And don't say fine."

"Scared," she admitted quietly. "And excited. And my stomach still hurts. And..." She gestured helplessly at a decorative pillow, which had started to glow. Remy quickly grabbed that too.

"Hormones probably triggered it," you mused. "Logan mentioned that happens sometimes with mutant teenagers."

"Great," Spade groaned. "So not only do I have to deal with... this stuff, but now I might blow things up when I get cranky?"

"Just like your papa," you teased, trying to lighten the mood.

"Hey!" Remy protested. "Remy has excellent control... most of the time."

Spade giggled, then winced and curled tighter around the heating pad. "Can we just... watch movies today? And maybe Papa can teach me how to not explode things?"

"'Course, petit," Remy said softly. "Though maybe we start with something less explosive than the remote, non? Playing cards are made to handle a charge better."

"Is that why you always have them?" she asked, perking up slightly despite her discomfort.

"Partly," he admitted. "Also 'cause they look cool when Remy throws them."

"Can I learn that too?"

"Let's master 'not blowing up the furniture' first," you suggested firmly.

"Maman's right," Remy agreed. "Besides, you need to rest today. Movie first, mutation training later."

Spade nodded, then suddenly looked mortified. "Oh god, do I have to tell people at school about... either thing?"

"Only if you want to, baby," you assured her. "Though we should probably let Uncle Logan know about your powers manifesting. He'll want to start training you."

"Can we not call him Uncle Logan anymore?" Spade groaned. "I'm not a little kid."

"You'll always be Remy's petit," he said, ruffling her hair and expertly dodging her swat.

"Papa!" she protested, but she was smiling. Then she looked down at her hands again, watching the faint energy dance across her fingertips. "Will... will it always feel like this?"

"Non," Remy assured her. "You'll learn to control it. Channel it. Make it part of you instead of fighting it. And your maman and papa will be here every step of the way."

"Promise?"

"Promise, petit. Now, what movie you want to watch while Remy teaches you the basics of energy manipulation?"

"Something with explosions?" she asked hopefully.

You and Remy shared a look over her head – equal parts exasperation and love.

--- Five Years Later ---

You knew something was off when Spade started wearing long sleeves in summer. At seventeen, she'd grown into her powers beautifully, the same casual grace with kinetic energy that Remy possessed. But lately, she'd been jumpy, secretive – and definitely not charging anything she touched, which was unusual for a girl who typically left a trail of glowing objects in her wake.

The truth came out on a humid Tuesday evening, when Remy came home early from a mission.

"Petit?" he called out, heading upstairs. "Remy brought those macarons you like from that place in–"

He stopped dead in Spade's doorway. Your daughter was hastily pulling on a hoodie, but not before both of you caught sight of the suppression collar around her neck. The kind sold in sketchy places to mutants who wanted to "pass" as human.

The box of macarons hit the floor.

"Papa!" Spade yelped, yanking the hood up. "You're supposed to be in Paris until tomorrow!"

"And you're supposed to be at study group," you said from behind Remy, making her jump. "Want to explain the collar, baby?"

Spade's eyes darted between you both, then to her window, clearly calculating if she could make the jump. A habit she'd definitely picked up from Remy.

"Don't even think about it," you warned. "Sit."

She sat on her bed, pulling her knees up to her chest. "It's not what you think."

"Non?" Remy's voice was dangerously quiet. "Because what Remy thinks is his daughter is ashamed of being a mutant."

"I'm not!" Spade protested, eyes filling with tears. "I just... I wanted..."

"To be normal?" you asked softly, sitting beside her while Remy paced the room, playing cards flickering with agitated energy between his fingers.

"To go on a date without setting anything on fire!" she burst out. "To hold hands without worrying about blowing someone up! To be able to... to kiss someone without..."

The cards in Remy's hands stopped moving. "Kiss someone?"

Spade went pale. "I mean... hypothetically..."

"Spade Charlotte LeBeau," you said firmly. "The whole truth. Now."

She took a shuddering breath. "His name is Alex. He's in my AP Chemistry class. We've been dating for three months and he doesn't know I'm a mutant and I really, really like him and please don't explode anything, Papa!"

The last part came out in a rush as the cards in Remy's hands began to glow ominously.

"Three months?" Remy's accent got thicker with emotion. "You've been hiding this for three months?"

"Remy," you warned, seeing the hurt in your daughter's eyes. "Let her explain."

"I wanted to tell you," Spade whispered, fingers twisting in her sleeves. "But I was scared. Not of you!" she added quickly. "Of... of messing it up. His parents are kind of... they don't like mutants. And Alex isn't like that, he's different, but I just wanted a chance to show him who I am before he found out what I am."

"You are not a what, petit," Remy said fiercely, the glow fading from his cards as he knelt in front of her. "You are a who. A beautiful, powerful, amazing who. And anyone who can't see that..."

"Isn't worth hiding yourself for," you finished gently.

"But what if he is?" Spade's voice cracked. "Worth it, I mean. He's smart and funny and he doesn't make stupid jokes about the school being full of freaks like the other kids do. He stood up for Jamie last week when someone was bullying him about his scales. He doesn't even know I go there, but he stood up anyway."

You and Remy exchanged a look. You remembered being young, remembered how hard it was to bridge the gap between mutant and human worlds.

"Take off the collar, petit," Remy said finally.

"Papa..."

"Take it off," he repeated, gentler this time. "If this boy is worth your time, he's worth your trust. And if he breaks that trust..." The cards flickered again.

"You will not threaten a teenager," you told him firmly, then turned to Spade. "But your father's right about the collar, baby. It's dangerous, and it's not healthy – physically or emotionally."

Spade's hands shook as she unclasped the collar, her natural energy immediately sparking at her fingertips. "I don't know how to tell him."

"Start with the truth," you suggested. "And maybe somewhere without too many breakable objects."

"And if he runs?" she asked in a small voice.

Remy sat beside her, pulling her into a hug. "Then he's not the one, petit. But you don't know until you try. Just... next time? Tell Remy before you start dating the normie boy? So Remy can do a proper background check?"

"Papa!"

"What? It's what any responsible father would do!"

"You are not running a background check on my boyfriend!"

"Too late," you muttered, making them both turn to stare at you. "What? You think your father's the only one who knows how to do research? He's got a B+ average, one speeding ticket, volunteers at the animal shelter, and his Instagram is full of science puns and pictures of his little sister's soccer games."

Spade groaned and flopped back on her bed. "I hate this family."

"Non, you don't," Remy grinned, ruffling her hair. "Now, about those macarons Remy dropped..."

"Are they stress-eating macarons?" Spade asked hopefully.

"They are now," you agreed. "And while we eat, you can tell us more about this boy. Like why you didn't mention that he's in your AP Chem study group – the one you're supposedly at right now?"

Spade's eyes widened. "How did you..."

"Parent knowledge," you and Remy said in unison.

---Three months later---

The Greene family's dining room was impeccably decorated, all crystal glasses and polished silver that made you grateful for all those etiquette lessons Storm had insisted on. Spade sat beside Alex, wearing her favorite dark purple dress, her power carefully controlled despite her obvious nerves. Remy, for once, had traded his usual trench coat for a proper blazer, though you'd caught him shuffling cards in his pocket on the drive over.

"So," Mrs. Greene said, cutting her chicken with precise movements, "you teach at that... special school?"

"Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters," you confirmed, noting how she avoided saying the name. "Yes, we both do."

"And that's where Spade attends?" Mr. Greene's tone was carefully neutral, but his grip on his fork was too tight.

Alex shifted uncomfortably. He'd been wonderful when Spade had told him about her powers, had even thought they were cool, but this dinner had been his idea – wanting to do things "properly." Now, watching his parents' barely concealed disdain, you could see him regretting it.

"Best education a parent could ask for," Remy said smoothly, his accent deliberately softened. "Top test scores in the state."

"I'm sure," Mrs. Greene murmured, then added with false brightness, "Though it must be... challenging, dealing with all those special needs children."

Spade's glass began to glow faintly. Without missing a beat, Remy reached over and touched it, absorbing the charge.

"Actually," you said pleasantly, "our students are quite gifted. Spade's in line for early admission to NYU's biochemistry program."

"Really?" Mr. Greene looked surprised, as if he couldn't quite reconcile this with his preconceptions. "That's... impressive."

"Our Spade's always been remarkable," Remy said proudly, then added with deliberate casualness, "Gets it from both sides of the family."

The temperature in the room seemed to drop several degrees as understanding dawned on the Greenes' faces.

"Both sides?" Mrs. Greene's voice had gone up an octave. "You mean you're all...?"

"Mutants?" Spade finished quietly, lifting her chin with a defiance that was pure Remy. "Yes. We are."

"Alex!" his mother hissed. "You didn't tell us..."

"Because it doesn't matter, Mom," Alex said firmly, reaching for Spade's hand under the table. "Spade's brilliant and kind and amazing, and her being a mutant is just another part of who she is."

"Doesn't matter?" Mr. Greene's fork clattered to his plate. "These people are dangerous! They're–"

"Very capable of hearing you," you interrupted coolly. "And 'these people' include your son's girlfriend and her parents, who are sitting right here."

"How do we know she hasn't... done something to him?" Mrs. Greene demanded, standing abruptly. "Used some kind of mind control or–"

"Maman's not a telepath," Spade said, her voice shaking slightly but determined. "And neither am I. I can charge objects with kinetic energy, like my father. That's all."

"That's all?" Mr. Greene laughed harshly. "You mean you can make things explode? And we're supposed to be comfortable with you dating our son?"

"More comfortable than Remy is with his daughter dating someone whose parents think she's a monster," Remy said quietly, but there was steel beneath the silk of his voice.

"Mom, Dad, please," Alex pleaded. "Just give them a chance. Get to know them. Spade's family is amazing – they've been nothing but welcoming to me."

"Of course they have," Mrs. Greene snapped. "They're probably thrilled their daughter managed to snare a normal boy–"

The wine glass in Remy's hand shattered.

Everyone froze. Slowly, deliberately, Remy uncurled his fingers, letting the charged fragments fall harmlessly to the tablecloth.

"Remy suggests," he said softly, his accent thick with controlled anger, "that you think very carefully about your next words regarding his daughter."

"Are you threatening us?" Mr. Greene stood, reaching for his phone. "In our own home?"

"Non," Remy smiled, but it wasn't a pleasant expression. "Remy's just making sure we understand each other. Because Remy's daughter? She's been crying herself to sleep worrying about making a good impression tonight. She pressed her best dress and practiced controlling her powers for hours because she wanted you to see her as a person first. But clearly," he gestured to the ruined tablecloth, "Remy wasted money on this nice jacket."

"I think," you said, standing and placing a calming hand on Remy's shoulder, "we should go."

"Wait!" Alex stood too. "I'm coming with you."

"Alex, sit down!" his mother ordered.

"No." He moved to stand beside Spade, who was fighting back tears. "I'm seventeen, I can make my own choices. And I choose not to stay here and listen to you insult the girl I love and her family."

The word 'love' hung in the air. Spade's eyes widened, and even Remy's anger faltered for a moment.

"If you walk out that door with them," Mr. Greene warned, "don't bother coming back tonight."

"Fine," Alex said, his voice steady despite his pale face. "I'll stay at Connor's. At least his parents judge people by who they are, not what they are."

You gathered your things in tense silence, Remy's hand protectively on Spade's shoulder. At the door, Mrs. Greene made one last attempt.

"Alex, please. We're just trying to protect you."

"From what?" he asked tiredly. "From Spade, who helps me with calculus and volunteers at the shelter with me? From her mom, who makes sure I eat properly when I'm studying late? From her dad, who's been teaching me to change my own oil so I don't get ripped off at mechanics?" He shook his head. "The only thing I need protection from is this kind of prejudice."

You and Remy shared a look as you walked out with the teens in front. You might have had your opinions at first but you definitely liked Alex now.

#xmen gambit #gambit #x men comics #gambit x reader #gambit 97 #my hubby 💕#my husband #remy lebeau x reader #remy lebeau #remy being a dad #fluff #family #alex is a total sweetie

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pretending-ican-write · 8 months ago

Text

Cowboy Up - Pt.6

A/n: It's here y'all! After this part we'll be getting into the show and I can't wait to start incorporating my own character into the episodes!

I need your input! I'm currently going through the show episode by episode to pull out what I want to use for this fic and I've reached ep5 when Travis first turns up and I am seriously undecided about his relationship with the reader. It is more than likely that they would have interacted on the circuit but I'm split between him having a flirty relationship or a older-brother-protective vibe. Let me know your thoughts!

Pairing: Ryan (Yellowstone) x Dutton!reader

WC: 1649

Previous part - Next part

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That summer was one of the hottest y/n could ever recall having in Montana. Unfortunately hot weather didn’t negate the fact that there was always work to do on the ranch. Yesterday one of the freshly backed colts had thrown a fit in the corral resulting in kicking the fence hard enough to break it. So the job for the day was to put a new log into the fence so they could use the corral again.

Y/n had abandoned jeans in favour of shorts out in the sun, a tank top and she had opted to swap her cowboy hat for the cap Kayce had given her for her birthday despite having claimed she’d never wear it around the wranglers. Lloyd was holding the log up whilst she worked to secure it to the post.

Around the corral the other hands were doing their own work and a small group of them were hiding from the sun in the shade of the barn. They were mostly busy watching y/n do her own work, more specifically how she looked in her shorts.

“God damn that girl has an ass,” one of them commented.

Another one agreed, “you just know that she’d give you a good time.”

Colby and Ryan were a little way off cleaning tack getting more annoyed at every comment the men were making. Ryan was getting more frustrated by what they were saying and how oblivious she was to how they were treating her. His friend was less concerned about that and more occupied trying to stop the hand from doing something he would regret.

Rip emerged from the barn to say something to them when Ryan snapped at them, “will you shut the fuck up? It’s disgusting to hear you talk about her like that. She’s your boss’ daughter for fuck sake have some damn respect. Someone’ll rip your tongues out for saying that next time.”

Y/n overheard his shouting from across the corral and couldn’t help but smile to herself at his defence of her. Ever since Rip had threatened him (and the rest of the bunkhouse but they clearly hadn’t taken those threats to heart) after finding her asleep in Ryan’s bunk years ago, he’d been very careful with his interactions with the younger woman. They’d remained close friends, and he’d been instrumental in her integration with the wranglers, but it had never gone further than that despite what both of them not-so-secretly wanted to happen.

Lloyd looked at the smile on her face and rolled his eyes, “y’all have been pining after each other for years. When will it end?”

“If I had a say in it it would’ve been over before anyone noticed but if he has it his way it seems like never,” y/n sighed, “I think Rip’s threat from forever ago ruined it.”

He watched Ryan whose eyes were on her, “might go insane if I have to watch y’all making eyes at each other for much longer. You and I can both handle Rip if needs be.”

She laughed at the idea of someone ‘handling’ Rip. The only people she believed were able to handle the foreman were her father and Beth, no matter how poorly her sister treated the man. In reality, Rip had a soft spot for the youngest Dutton and Lloyd was the only wrangler on the ranch that would stand a chance arguing against Rip. He left her to go and deal with something else, leaving Colby to help with the other side of the fence.

“Swear he woulda murdered them if it had gone on much longer,” her friend joked, “practically fire in his eyes when he saw how they were looking at you.”

Y/n shook her head, “I’ve been trying to get him to make a move since I was 18, Colby. I don’t think he’s gonna start now.”

“I love both of you but I will help Lloyd lock you in the tack room if this goes on any longer. Feel sorry for the poor bastard watching this for years. I’m done with it after a few months,” Colby laughed, “just make a move for everyone’s benefit.”

-/-/-

That evening the temperature had cooled down from the scorcher of the afternoon but it was still uncomfortable, hot enough that y/n was still wearing shorts. Most of the hands were sitting around the table playing cards but she had chosen to sit the game out in favour of reading the book she’d been waiting weeks for. Every once in a while some of the conversation would break through her reading bubble and y/n would laugh at the insults that got thrown around half-heartedly.

After a little while the focus of their conversation moved away from their game of poker to their romance lives, or more accurately their struggles with romance being wranglers. They were complaining about how difficult it was with their work schedules to meet girls. Y/n shook her head slightly at their trivial problems.

“Reckon we’d all be better off if Dutton over there gave a piece of ass up,” a hand commented nonchalantly.

As soon as the words had come out of his mouth, Ryan was out of his chair as was Colby to stop his friend doing something. Colby grabbed his shoulder and arm, keeping him firmly away from the other hand.

“Hit a nerve have I? Thought she was supposed to be off limits to the bunkhouse? Just you getting at or you sharing it with your friend? Care to let us join in on-”

Before he was able to finish his sentence, Lloyd had punched him, “you don’t speak about her like that, ever. Anyone thinks that’s okay and there’s more than just me to answer for. Rip will know about this.”

The tension in the room was broken by the sound of the door slamming shut and they looked up to see that y/n was no longer sitting on the sofa.

Lloyd looked over at Ryan, “I think you best follow her. Now or never, son.”

-/-/-

Ryan exited the bunkhouse and saw her sat on the corral fence in the fading light, cigarette smoke drifting into the sky. He headed across the drive to join her and leant against the fence beside her, letting her finish the cigarette before starting the conversation. When she was done, y/n threw the stub into the sand and watched silently as it smoked on the ground. Her eyes remained fixed on the mountains as if she could pretend he wasn’t there if she didn’t look at him despite the fact his arm was practically touching her thigh.

“You gonna say anything?” She asked.

Ryan sighed, “was kinda waiting for you to start the conversation this time, sweetheart.”

“I don’t know what you expect me to say. I really don’t need you jumping to protect me the moment one of them says something about me. Can’t be a ranch hand and not expect someone to say something about it. I’m a big girl. Plus Rip has it handled, something you haven’t seemed to forget,” y/n added bitterly.

“You can’t seriously expect me to just sit there and let them say that shit about you y/n? No one should say that,” he argued.

Y/n looked at him, “that’s exactly what I expect. You got no right to be that overprotective with the people we fuckin’ work with when you’re just as bad as them sitting staring at me like that.”

“The fuck are you tryna say,” Ryan growled.

She sighed and turned around, getting off the fence to move away from him. Y/n turned away to take another cigarette from her pocket to avoid answering his question. He watched her for a moment as she took a long inhale before turning back to look at him.

“It’s all good and well you tryna fight anyone who has something to say about me but we both know you ain’t gonna do anything about it except just sit there and stare because you’re fuckin afraid! I’m so over it Ryan either make the move I’ve been waiting for you to make for 10 years or stop acting like you get a say in my life,” she ranted at him.

Ryan took her in in front of him, cigarette between her lips and frustration in her eyes before making his decision. Within one step he was in front of her, taking a moment to see if she would stop him before taking the cigarette out of her mouth and putting it out under his boot. Y/n inhaled sharply when he placed his hands gently on her hips, using them to walk her backwards until her back hit the barn wall.

Ryan kept one hand on her hip and moved the other to her cheek, “last chance to change your mind, sweetheart.”

“Been waiting for you since I was 18 don’t make me wait any longer,” she whispered into the space between them.

With no more hesitation he kissed her. Y/n responded by fisting her hands in the front of his shirt. After a moment, he pulled away and rested his forehead against her. Y/n allowed her eyes to fall shut as she reveled in the moment she’d been imagining for so long.

Ryan kissed her again, “do I live up to expectations sweetheart?”

“Better than I could have hoped,” y/n smiled, “we’re gonna have to be careful though. I reckon I can handle Rip if I need to but if dad finds out he won’t hesitate to fire you and I won’t let you leave here.”

He nodded, “I’ll follow your lead. Colby won’t say anything and Lloyd’ll just be happy that he no longer has to deal with me staring at you longingly.”

“Gonna be fun sneaking round. Never got to do it in high school,” she teased.

Ryan laughed, “you’ll be worth it sweetheart.”

#ryan yellowstone #ryan yellowstone x reader #yellowstone #yellowstone imagine #yellowstone tv #dutton ranch #dutton!reader #ian bohen

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underground-secret · 7 months ago

Text

The Hunter and the Witch~ Dean Winchester x F! reader

Description: When Dean gets a call from an "old friend" asking for help, old feelings resurface leaving for messy feelings and a complicated hunt.

Warnings: canon violence, feelings of unrequited love, angst, loving someone being difficult, corpses, crime scenes, cursing, mentions of racism, racist ghost truck?

Tag list: @jesllianaquilesrolonsworld , @okayiamkassandra , @fablesrose , @ada--44 , @bonkydarnes , @star-yawnznn , @crazyunsexycool

Word Count: 9,251

Route 666

(Master list, Prev Ch, Next Chapter)

I lean against the expanse of the Impala, letting the bright sun shine over me. It was one of those cold but not cold days, where as long as the sun was hitting you it was perfectly right. Sam is next to me looking over the large map he has laid out on the hood of the car, trying to look for a way around a closed-off road.

I’m glad he knew what he was doing ‘cause my map and geography skills only went so far before I was lost.

Meanwhile, Dean was off to the side, his phone pressed to his ear his brows furrowed whoever he was talking to was clearly telling him something important and maybe shocking.

“Ok. I think I found a way we can bypass that construction just East of here,” Sam informs gaining my attention, “We might even make Pennsylvania faster than we thought.” I nod, taking advantage of his hunched-over figure to ruffle his hair, “Nice work, map man.” He snorts, rolling his eyes as he pushes my arm away playfully.

“Yeah. ‘Problem is, we’re not going to Pennsylvania” Dean points out, closing his phone and looking at it thoughtfully. I look at him confused, “We aren’t…?” He nods, wetting his lips, “I just got a call from an, uh, old friend. Her father was killed last night, think it might be our kind of thing.”

“What?” Sam vocalizes. “Yeah. Believe me, she never woulda called, never, if she didn’t need us” Dean clarifies. Without giving us any more information or even a chance to contemplate or counter his statement he gets in the car, “Come on, are you coming or not?”

The Impala cruises down the expanse of the road, a long beautifully green field on one side and a lake on the other. “By old friend you mean…?” Sam asks the question we were both undeniably thinking. “A friend that’s not new” Dean grumbles.

“Oh! Thanks, genius” I remark, he was being weird and that alone was not helping his case. “‘Said her name’s Cassie huh?” Sam said, trying a different angle, “You never mentioned her…”

“Didn’t I?” Dean remarks. He wasn't very good at hiding this one, the car falling silent in the wake of his stupid answer. He finally huffs, “Yeah, we went out.”

“You mean you dated somebody?” Sam asks with a snort, “For more than one night?”

“Oh come on Sammy we're all adults here, we’ve all dated before” I chime in with a smirk. He turns around in his seat, facing me with an expectant look, “Are we talking about the same person here? Dean doesn't date.” Sam exclaims and I push down the ache of that implication, “And aren’t you the least bit curious.”

“Oh no, I am,” I nod enthusiastically, laughing lightly, “I want all the details. I was just tryna be nice.”

He snickers, turning back to his brother, “You heard her, we want all the details.”

I swear Dean’s eye practically twitches, “Am I speaking a language you’re not getting here? Dad and I were working a job in Ohio, she was finishing up college. We went out for a coupla weeks.”

I want to ask how long ago this was, was it months before his dad disappeared or a year or more ago, but I hold back on my questioning. “And…?” Sam pushes. Dean shrugs slightly.

“Look, it’s terrible about her dad, but it kinda sounds like a standard car accident. I’m not seeing how it fits with what we do,” Sam reasons, “Which by the way, how does she know what we do?”

Dean doesn't answer again, silently shifting in his seat uncomfortably. The realization hits me like a brick, “Oh. My. God,” I lean forward in my seat almost getting choked out by my seatbelt, “You told her! You broke the number one hunting rule! You know, not telling anyone, ever!”

“More than that!” Sam adds, “It’s our big family rule. Number one. We do what we do and we shut up about it. For a year and a half, I did nothing but lie to Jessica, and you go out with this chick in Ohio a coupla times and you tell her everything?!” I try not to think about my own relationships both romantic and not that rarely ever made it past a couple of months before it ended, not only having to lie about being a hunter but a witch too. Dean stays silent, staring straight ahead, “Dean!” Sam yells.

“Yeah. Looks like,” he finally acknowledges. He continues to stare ahead, pressing his foot down harder on the gas pedal. Sam shakes his head, giving his brother his classic bitchface.

“Oh. He had it bad” I laugh leaning back in my seat, ignoring the sinking and stabbing feeling in my heart. I figured I’d have to keep doing so on this hunt.

The office was dark, the bright sunlight not able to stretch upon the large room not even with the help of glass doors. The place could really open a couple of blinds, let the light shine in.

An old white man with an interesting-looking tie, one of those Western ones with the jewel and black tether, talks to two people a man and a woman their backs towards us. And the way Dean pauses, staring at the woman it isn't hard to deduce she's Cassie. She and the older black gentlemen next to her seem to be having some sort of dispute with the old white guy.

Then suddenly both of the men walk away, clearly frustrated, leaving Cassie to stand there herself. She turns around swiftly, and almost like a perfectly curated romance movie she nearly hits Dean only inches separating the two. I didn't even realize he had moved forward in the time we've been standing here.

Just looking at her I could tell why Dean fell for her, she's beautiful more than that. She could be a model with her beautiful long dark curls framing her face, full lips colored red, and big brown eyes. She must have stepped out of a magazine, everything about her screamed perfect down to her perfectly shaped eyebrows and perfect nose. “Dean,” she says, her voice smooth despite the look of slight apprehension.

He nods and grins, “Hey Cassie.” And they just stare at each other. He's looking at her in a way I’ve never seen him look at anyone before even despite the tension that hung in the air, unspoken words from however long ago.

His eyes seem to glimmer, you’d have to be a fool not to see he still has feelings for her, that they never went away in the first place. And that it’s more than just any feelings, he loves her and that is a hard pill to swallow.

He clears his throat, breaking the trance they were both in, “This is my brother Sam. And my friend Y/N.” She smiles at each of us before her gaze reverts to Dean, not that I could blame her in the slightest.

“Sorry ‘bout your dad,” he says.

“Yeah. Me too,” she answers.

Her family home was beautiful and extraordinarily large, it was a bit disturbing. Though maybe that was because it reminded me of my home before moving to Kansas, or at least what I remember of it. We sat in the sitting room on vintage settees, another reminder of that home–my mother would quite like the look of this cozy room.

Cassie finally comes back adorning a tray of tea cups and a teapot along with the little bowl of sugar and a small pouring cup of milk, could she get any more perfect and wonderful? “My mothers in pretty bad shape. I’ve been staying with her. I wish she wouldn’t go off by herself. She’s been so nervous and frightened. She was worried about Dad,” she explains.

“Why?” Dean asks as she takes a seat across from us. He was watching her every move as if dedicating it to memory, I wonder if he’s thinking ‘She moves in the same manner she used to’ or maybe that it changed. Suddenly I was not so okay with sitting between the boys even though that's almost how we always sat when talking to someone on a hunt, as it made it harder for them to fight and made them slightly more comfortable with squishing into sofas with their large frames. But now, being in the middle I could easily watch how he looked at her, studied her.

She skillfully pours tea into each cup, “He was scared. He was seeing things.”

“Like what?” He asked.

“He swore he saw an awful-looking black truck following him,” she responds carefully.

“A truck, did he see a driver?” I ask, diligently accepting the beautiful teacup she handed me. I take a careful sip of the black tea, of course she would know and pick the perfect tea for guests. Does she have any flaws?

“He didn’t talk about a driver,” she answers, “Just the truck. He said it would appear and disappear. And, in the accident, Dad’s car was dented, like it had been slammed into by something big.”

Sam accepts his cup of tea, “Thanks. Now you’re sure this dent wasn’t there before?” And as predictable as Dean was he looked at his cup weirdly before depositing it back on the tray, that man was not a tea person he’d take a coffee or a beer any day. I think the only reason he drank the tea I gave him when he was sick was because he knew how desperate Sammy and I were.

“He sold cars. Always drove a new one. There wasn’t a scratch on that thing,” she explains, “It had rained hard that night. There was mud everywhere. There was a distinct set of muddy tracks leading from Dad’s car…leading right to the edge, where he went over.” She swallows harshly, bowing her head, “One set of tracks. His.”

Dean’s face softens, eyes filling with sympathy, “The first was a friend of your father's?” She nods, “Best friend. Clayton Soames. They owned the car dealership together. Same thing. Dent. No tracks. And the cops said exactly what they said about Dad. He ‘lost control of his car.’”

I force my brain to rid itself of any thoughts of Dean and Cassie's relationship. This was like any other hunt, something weird is going on and we are here to help, nothing more.

It was weird, cars don't just drive off the road like that and then have newly made dents that match another vehicle. “Is there any reason you can think of as to why your father and his partner might've been targets? Competition?” I ask. She shakes her head, radiating certainty, “No.”

“And you think this vanishing truck ran them off the road?” Sam points out.

“When you say it aloud like that…,” she sighs, “listen, I’m a little skeptical about this…ghost stuff…or whatever it is you guys are into.”

Dean huffs, “Skeptical. If I remember, I think you said I was nuts.”

“That was then,” she bites back. Then they fall back into that thing where they just stare at each other, “I just know that I can’t explain what happened up there. So I called you,” she adds, directing her words only to him. I clear my throat, weary of the bubble they seem to have put around themselves, “You were right in calling” I reasoned softly, “It is very strange and on the off chance it isn’t anything supernatural then it was certainly a cover-up.”

Her perfect eyebrows furrow but before she can respond the sound of the front door opening catches all of our attention, a middle-aged white woman enters through and I assume it's her mother. She shared her mother's eye shape and her nose, but the rest of her she must have gotten from her father.

As if we had gotten caught we all rise from the sofa. Cassie goes over to her mother, taking her arm, “Mom. Where have you been I was so…” her mother cuts her off looking at us, “I had no idea you'd invited friends over.”

“Mom, this Dean, a…friend of mine from…college. ‘His brother Sam and friend Y/N.”

“Well, I won’t interrupt you” her mother smiles nervously.

“Mrs Robinson,” Dean says suddenly, “We’re sorry for your loss. We’d like to talk to you for a minute if you don’t mind.” And as if offended she recoils, “I’m really not up for that right now.”

The morning sun is dimmer today, perfect for the scene we were walking upon. The man Cassie was standing with yesterday, Jimmy, was the newest victim. He died in the same way as the others sometime late last night. Cassie was again arguing with the old white man from yesterday. As we approached I could hear his condescending voice, “Close the man road. The only road in and out of town? Accidents do happen Cassie, and that’s what they are. Accidents.”

We stand beside her, Dean speaking up immediately, “Did the cops check for additional denting on Jimmy’s car, see if it was pushed?”

Without missing a beat and without looking away from Cassie the man asks, “Who’s this?”

“Dean and Sam Winchester, Y/N L/N. Family friends. This is Mayor Harold Todd” She replies smoothly. This man went from just any old white guy to a powerful old white guy, even worse. And he had two first names, you never trust someone with two first names. Reluctantly Mayor Old Guy answers Dean’s initial question, “There’s one set of tire tracks. One. ‘Doesn’t point to foul play.”

Cassie scuffs, “Mayor, the police, and town officials take their cues from you. If you’re indifferent about…”

He cuts her off, “Indifferent!”

“Would you close the road if the victims were white?” she counters.

Oh. Could she get any more iconic?!

“You suggesting I’m racist Cassie?” He spits, “I’m the last person you should talk to like that.”

“And why is that?” She counters, stepping closer to him.

“Why don’t you ask your mother” he answers before walking away. My jaw drops, what the hell is going on in this town?

I huff, blowing a piece of hair out of my face. I really didn’t want to get dressed, for as much as I’ve been trying to ignore the whole Dean and Cassie situation I was feeling horrible.

I sit on the soft motel bed in nothing but my underwear and a nice white button-down, haven given up on dressing. I feel stupid. Incredibly stupid.

Maybe Sam’s words had gotten to me, maybe I had gotten my hopes up without even realizing it.

He loves someone else, and he’s had for a while. I always thought when you love someone those feelings don’t ever truly go away, there's always a part of you with them. They wind up crossing your mind and you wonder where things went wrong. But I guess I never considered this would also apply to Dean, which is cruel to believe within itself. Which is funny too, all these years I’ve spent loving him…But Sam was right he didn’t date so I guess I assumed he never fell for anyone during his countless one-night stands.

I know death is cruel but maybe love is tied with it. Because I feel like someone took my heart and ran with it, leaving me with this void in my chest and an ache so intense that it throbs in its place. It was stupid to think I had a chance to begin with. I knew not to believe I had one in the first place, but somewhere along the line I had completely forgotten about any of that. So much for listening to my past self, if I had maybe I wouldn't be feeling so damn bad.

But I couldn't be mad. Cassie was wonderful in every possible way and you don't need to know her for long to realize that. They seemed perfect for each other really. She was feisty and had no issue putting someone in their place, which I quite admired, and I know Dean could use that every now and then. If she was a jerk I’m sure I’d have no issue disliking her, but she wasn’t! She was impossible to dislike, and it would be horrible of me to hate her just because she harbors feelings for someone that I love or the fact that he loves her back. That wasn't her fault, it was neither of their faults.

Loving someone has to be the hardest thing one could do.

I get up from the bed and put on my skirt. I couldn't sit here forever, the boys would come knocking and I wouldn't have a good excuse as to why I’m in a mood. Quickly I check myself in the mirror, at least I didn’t cry which means I don't gotta redo my makeup, even if it was minimal to begin with.

How do you stop loving someone? I could use that answer.

I knew I loved him for a long time, too long. But I suppose I didn’t realize just how bad it had gotten, how much it had flourished and I had never expected that to be possible. I love him.

I love him and it hurts so much.

How many times did I have the opportunity to tell him? It had to be in the hundreds. Maybe it was better that I didn’t, he loves someone else and I should be happy for them. I am happy for him. He deserves to be loved and be able to love. Yes, I am happy.

I approach the two older men having lunch, focusing on the wet ground and the wholesomeness that is them eating on a pier. “Hi, sorry. Are you Ron Stubbins?” I ask, taking the lead. I needed to throw myself into the work, I needed the distraction. The older man nods looking at us confused, his black cap bobbing with his head. “You were friends with Jimmy Anderson?” Dean follows up.

“Who are you?” Ron responds with, sitting up straighter. He was sizing us up, skeptical of us, which he had every right to be. “We’re Mr. Anderson’s insurance company. We’re just here to dot ‘I’s’ and cross ‘T’s’,” Dean explains, flashing his badge.

“And they needed to send three of you?” He counters. I giggle, tilting my head slightly, “Would you prefer me leaving?” I ask sweetly. And as predictable as men can be he drags his eyes across my body before shaking his head, “No. No. That won’t be necessary.” I ignore the dirty feeling that washes over me and sticks to my bones like a new layer of skin, it was necessary to do that because now he won’t bother questioning us anymore on that topic.

“We were just wondering, had the deceased mentioned any unusual recent experiences?” Sam questions, getting back on topic. Reluctantly Ron looks away from me to look at the man who questioned him, “What do you mean, unusual?”

“Well visions, hallucinations” He elaborates.

“We’re working with local psychologists to broaden our questioning and research,” I explain, trying to clear the confusion from his face, “It’s all very standard.”

“What company did you say you were with?” Ron counters. Maybe he was more on guard than I thought. “All National Mutual” Dean answers smoothly, “Tell me, did he ever mention seeing a truck? A big black truck?”

“What the hell ‘you talking about?” Ron exclaims, “‘You even speaking English?”

Wow, what a lovely guy.

“Son this truck, a big scary monster-looking thing?” Ron's friend suddenly says.

“Yeah actually, I think so” Dean answers. The man hums to himself in thought, please let this interaction be useful. “You’ve heard of something like that?” I ask the man. “I have,” he nods, not bothering to elaborate.

“You have. Where?” Sam pushes.

“Not where,” he finally answers, “When. Back in the ‘60s, there was a string of deaths. Black men. Story goes, they disappeared in a big, nasty, black truck.”

“They ever catch the guy?” I ask. He shrugs, “Never found him. Hell, not even sure they really looked. See there was a time, ‘this town wasn’t too friendly to all its citizens.”

“Thank you” Sam nods.

We walk away, heading back to the Impala. “Well, it seems like history is repeating itself,” I began, “From the lack of investigation and racism down to the–”

“Truck,” Dean says, finishing my sentence. “Keeps coming up doesn’t it?” Sam adds.

“You know, I was thinking. You heard of the Flying Dutchman?” Dean asks.

“Yeah, a ghost ship, infused with the Captian’s evil spirit. It was basically part of him” Sam answers, explaining the lore. Dean nods, “So what if we’re dealing with the same thing? You know, a phantom truck, an extension of some bastard’s ghost, re-enacting past crimes.”

“The victims have been black men” Sam continues the theory. I half-shrug, “I don't know. The town has to have more than a handful of black people, but it only seems to be going after specific people. It’s practically targeting those connected to Cassie and her family. I’m sure there’s some deeper link there.”

“That’s why I think it’s more than that,” Dean says.

“All right. Well, you work that angle, go talk to her,” Sam tells his brother specifically, clearly playing matchmaker. “Yeah, I will,” Dean agrees.

“Oh, and you might also wanna mention that other thing” Sam noted, a playful smile on his lips. Always the meddler. “What other thing?” Dean asks, either genuinely lost or faking it. “The serious, unfinished business?” Sam elaborates. I huff a laugh, “Yeah, seriously Dean it's so painfully obvious. Just talk to the girl.” It pained me to even suggest that, to motivate him in such a way but I want him to be happy, and if that means being with her then so be it.

Dean stops just as we reach the car, going obstinately silent. Sam huffs a laugh this time, “Dean, what is going on between you two?”

“All right, so maybe we were a little more involved than I said,” he finally admits. I give him a pointed look, “Yeah…that was obvious.”

He huffs, “A lot more. Maybe. And I told her our secret, about what we do. And I shouldn’t have.”

“Ah look man, everybody’s gotta open up to someone sometime,” Sam reasons, being a little too understanding compared to how we were only yesterday. “Yeah I don’t,” Dean argues, “It was stupid to get that close. I mean, look how it ended.”

I smile at him softly, hoping any sadness is concealed far behind my eyes, and I realize Sam is giving him the same look except he’s nearly beaming. “Would you both stop!” he shouts. But we don't because this is a side of Dean we’ve never seen before, and it is beautiful even if it's heartbreaking for me. “Someone blink or something!” he exclaims, throwing his hands up.

“You loved her,” I say softly, the gape in my chest deepening at the verbal declaration. Saying it aloud was so much worse. “Oh God,” he groans, turning to the Impala. “You still do!” I call after him.

“You were in love with her, but you dumped her,” Sam states, connecting the pieces. Dean goes silent, staring at the ground, then carefully glances at his brother before reverting his eyes. “Oh wow. She dumped you.”

I have to stop myself from taking in a sharp breath, there was a lot to this he wasn’t telling us. But why would she break up with him if she still has feelings?

“Get in the car” Dean demands, done being “emotional” and open, “Get in the car!”

Sam hands me my hot chocolate, but not even the sweet treat or the soft snow falling just outside can lift my mood. It makes me feel a little better but it does not fix my heart. Dean didn’t come back last night and I know it’s because he spent the night at Cassie’s. I’m happy they worked things out and hopefully had a wonderful night but again it does not fix my heart.

I held the cup tighter, welcoming the immense warmth it brought to my frozen hands as we stepped out of the small coffee shop. The air was crisp yet gentle as the light fluffy snowflakes descended onto us, the cold flakes collecting in my hair. A small smile graced my face, maybe it was making me feel better. I like the cold, preferred it even, I was cozy in my thick turtle neck and my favorite fleeced-lined jacket.

Sam and I walk in comfortable silence side by side, sipping from our cups and basking in the scenery of the unexpected snow. It was early May in Missouri, it really shouldn’t be snowing but I suppose if it could snow here a little in April then early May couldn't be that weird. Plus it was a light snow that likely wouldn't even stick. But the calming scenery is cut in half by an ambulance that speeds past us, sirens blaring. We share a questioning look but ultimately ignore it until two cop cars rush past us heading the same way. That we can’t ignore. With another shared look, we follow after the sirens.

I look out at the macabre scene, the yellow caution tape not having stopped me from investigating thanks to the use of a fake ID. The body had been bagged after countless photos were taken, but the blood of Mayor Todd still stains the streets. It was a gruesome scene, arguably worse than the others in this case his organs squished out like roadkill and, truthfully, that’s what he had become.

“L/N” Sam calls out from just a few feet behind me. I turned around swiftly, the snow whirling around me, Dean stood next to his brother. He came.

I walk over to the two boys, watching Dean’s clear expression of shock masked by annoyance, “‘You gonna ask me a bunch of questions too?” he asks. I look at him confused, “...no” I drag out slowly. His face seems to relax slightly, something unrecognizable passing in his eyes, “Good,” he nods.

“I already know you made up–made out” I add, his face drops, “Anyways, crime scene,” I point behind me.

“Every bone crushed. Internal organs turned to pudding,” Sam explains the case, catching his brother up, “The cops are all stumped, it’s like something ran him over.” The wind picks up again, swirling the snow in its own private storm, the cold will help with the case as it preserves the body longer. “Something like a truck?” Dean asks, gaining his footing in the case.

“Yeah, except of course there’s no tracks” I answer. He nods, rubbing a hand down his jaw and I have to force my eyes away from the movement, “What was the Mayor doing here anyway?”

“He owned the property. Bought it a few weeks ago” Sam says referring to the building site.

“But he’s white, doesn’t fit the pattern,” Dean points out. Sam nods, “Killings didn’t happen up on the road. That doesn’t fit either.”

I shove my hands into my pocket, taking a quick look back at the crime scene before turning back to the boys, “Then it seems like this case is one of revenge.”

I shuffle through the papers in front of me, glad that I was sent to do research at the town's main library rather than be at the newspaper office with the boys and Cassie. She was probably looking at him all sweetly and being a kind person, and I did not wish to see the loving way they looked at each other. And if avoiding that meant having my nose in dusty boxes of court records then that was okay.

I pull out my phone calling Sam directly instead of Dean, the phone rings a couple of times before he picks up, “Hi” I greet, “I got some info.”

The line goes quiet for a second before I hear his voice, “Alright you're on speaker.”

“Ok, so,” I start, balancing my phone between my ear and my shoulder as I look over the papers, “I have courthouse records here, and according to them Mr and Mrs Mayor bought an abandoned property. The previous owner was the Dorian family who owned it for, like, 150 years.”

“Dorian?” Dean repeats back. “Yes.”

His voice grows quieter but still in range enough for me to hear, “Didn’t you say the Dorian family used to own this paper?” he asks someone else in the room. “Along with everything else around here. Real pillars of the town,” Cassie answers. “Right, right” Dean responds followed by the clicking of keys.

“You got something there?” I ask, readjusting my phone.

“Think so” Sam mumbles, seemingly focused on whatever was happening over at the office.

“This Cyrus Dorian. He vanished in April of ‘63. The case was investigated but never solved. It was right around the time the string of murders was going on back then,” Dean informs, adding more information to what that man yesterday had told us.

“Well to add to that information, the Dorian place seemed to be in really bad shape when the Mayber bought it,” I add, “He bulldozed the place.”

“Mayor Todd knocked down the Dorian place?” Dean asks, presumably, Cassie. “It was a big deal” she answers, “One of the oldest houses left. He made the front page.” I huff a breath, everything connecting yet leaving so many questions at the same time. “You got a date, Y/N?” Dean calls back.

“Um,” I hum shuffling the papers around and reading over the words quickly, “‘3rd of last month.” The line goes quiet again the only sound ringing back being the sharp noise of fingers on a keyboard, “Mayor Todd bulldozed the Dorian family home on the 3rd,” Dean finally responds, “The first killing was the next day.”

Pouring the boiled water into the mug I take a quick look back, Dean kneels in front of the shaken-up Cassie rubbing her knee softly and looking at her with pure determination and adoration. I swallow roughly looking back at the mugs in front of me, nearly overspilling and burning myself.

This was not the time to grieve a love that never happened. Cassie called Dean afraid, having seen the black truck. We were here to help, I was making a soothing herbal tea for her and her mother to calm the nerves.

Finishing with the mugs I carefully carry them into the sitting room. Sam takes one from me, gently handing it to her mother. I hand the mug to Cassie, her shaky hands accepting and rattling the cup, Dean immediately moves to sit at her side but it does not stop his protectiveness if anything it amplifies it; he practically radiates it. “Maybe you should throw a couple of shots in here,” she says, half joking.

I huff a laugh, “Well while the effects of alcohol do have the capabilities of easing the central nervous system, when the effects wear off your body will be jolted back from its depressive state which would really only make you feel worse, more anxious as well as stressed.”

She gives me a half, almost awkward, smile before taking a sip from her mug. Did I say too much? Why didn’t someone stop me? Someone should’ve just cut me off, especially if I wasn’t helping.

“You didn’t see who was driving the truck,” Sam says suddenly, pulling the awkwardness out of the air. “It seemed to be no one. Everything was moving so fast. And then it was just gone,” she explains, “Why didn’t it kill us?”

“Whoever was controlling the truck wants you afraid first,” Dean answers. This would explain why at least one of the victims had seen it and truthfully thought they were going mad. “Mrs Robinson,” Sam began, “Cassie said that your husband saw the truck before he died.” Mrs Robinson doesn't answer, seemingly lost in her mind as she shakes. “Mom?” Cassie says carefully, worry laced in her voice.

The older Robinson shakes her head nervously, “Oh. Martin was under a lot of stress. You can’t be sure about what he was seeing.”

“Well after tonight I think we can be reasonably sure he was seeing a truck. What happened tonight, you and Cassie are marked. Ok?” Dean snaps, “Your daughter could die. So if you know something now would be a really good time to tell us about it.”

“Dean…” Cassie warns. But her mother's face contorts in emotion, something in her breaking, “Yes. Yes, he said he saw a truck.”

“Did he know who it belonged to?” Sam asks, taking a seat across from the woman. “He thought he did,” she answers cryptically. “Who was that?” Dean pushes. Her eyes get watery and she sinks into herself, “Cyrus. A man named Cyrus.”

My gaze flickers to the boys, we are all thinking the same thing, I look back at her, “By any chance was it Cyrus Dorian?” I ask carefully. Dean pulls out a newspaper from inside his coat, handing it to the woman. She doesn't shake her head or nod only replying with, “Cyrus Dorian died more than 40 years ago.”

“How do you know he died, Mrs Robinson?” Dean asks softly, “The papers said he went missing. How do you know he died?”

She hesitates, her mouth agape like a fish out of water or in reality that of a person who got caught, “We were all very young,” she says, “I dated Cyrus a while, I was also seeing Martin…in secret of course. Interracial couples didn’t go over too well back then. When I broke it off with Cyrus and when he found out about Martin, I don’t know, he, changed. His hatred. His hatred was frightening.”

“The murder,” Sam voices.

Her voice wobbles, “They were rumors. People of color disappearing into some kind of truck. Nothing ‘ever done,” she swallows shifting in her seat, “Martin and a…Martin and I, we were gonna be, uh, married in that little church near here, but last minute we decided to elope as we didn’t want the attention.” She pushes her short hair out of her face, stressed. “And what became of Cyrus?” I ask.

Endless tears fall down her cheeks, “The day we set for the wedding, was the day someone set fire to the church. There was a children’s choir practicing in there. They all died.” I suppress the gasp that wishes to leave my lips, the room seems to dim with the information. What was meant to be a beautiful day was soiled by the blood of innocents.

“Did the attacks stop after that?” Sam asks softly, careful of her fragile mindset.

A sob escapes from her chest, “No! There was one more. One night that truck came for Martin. Cyrus beat him terribly. But Martin, you see, Martin got loose. And he started hitting Cyrus and he just kept hitting him and hitting him.”

“Why didn’t you call the cops?” Dean pushes. She continues to cry, “This was forty years ago. He called on his friends, Clayton Soames and Jimmy Anderson, and they put Cyrus’ body into the truck and they rolled it into the swamp at the end of his land and all three of them kept that secret all of these years.”

“And now all three are gone,” Sam acknowledges. This all confirms the theory of a vengeful spirit. “And so is Mayor Todd,” Dean adds, “Now he said that you of all people would know he is not a racist. Why would he say that?”

“He was a good man,” Mrs Robinson answers, “He was a young deputy back then investigating Cyrus’ disappearance. Once he figured out what Martin and the others had done he…he did nothing, because he also knew what Cyrus had done.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Cassie asks, her voice hard yet full of emotion. I couldn't imagine what was going on in her head, to find out something like this–“I thought I was protecting them. And now there’s no one left to protect,” her mother reasons.

“Yes, there is” Dean counters, fiercely. His green eyes harden with determination as he looks at Cassie.

I sit on the cold hood of the Impala, gently kicking my legs back and forth watching Dean pace in front of me. Sam leans against the car next to me, his arms crossed as he too watches his brother, “Ah, my life was so simple. Just school, exams, papers on polycentric cultural norms…”

I look at him with an amused smile, “I have no idea what that last part is but it sounds fun!” That stops Dean in his tracks for just a half of a second, he points at us, “No it doesn’t. I saved him from a boring existence.”

“Yeah, occasionally I miss boring” Sam reasons. I nod enthusiastically, “Honestly, we have not had a normal day in like months. Kinda miss it.”

Dean brushes our light complaining off, “So this killer truck–”

“I miss conversations that didn’t start with ‘this killer truck’” Sam quips with a dramatic sigh. I failed to hold back my laughter, Dean laughs lightly and for a brief moment, things feel how they used to, “Well this Cyrus guy. Evil on a level that infected even his truck. When he died, the swamp became his tomb, and his spirit was dormant for 40 years.”

“So what woke it up?” Sam asks.

“The construction on his house. Or the destruction,” Dean points out.

“Right. Demolition or remodeling can awaken spirits, make them restless” Sam recalls. His brother hums a ‘yes’, nodding.

“Like that theater in Illinois, ya know?” Sam references, and I in fact had no idea what he was talking about. “And the guy that tore down the family homestead, Harold Todd, is the same guy that kept Cyrus’ murder quiet and unsolved,” Dean adds, bringing it back to the case at hand.

“So now his spirit is awakened and out for blood,” Sam acknowledges.

“Yeah, I guess. Who knows what ghosts are thinking anyway” Dean shrugs.

“Wait, does this mean we have to go swimming in that swamp?” I ask. I mean if we had to salt and burn the bones then we would need said bones which are in a swamp, how nice. Dean smiles at me, I know that look. “No” I warn, pointing at him like an animal that did something wrong. “You said it” he rationalizes.

“Noooo” I whine a pout on my lips, “Do I have to do it alone?”

His wicked smile deepens, “‘Course not, Sammy’s gonna be with you.”

Sam’s shoulders drop, “Man,” he sighs.

Suddenly a familiar figure approaches, her hands tucked into the back pocket of her jeans. Dean stands up straighter, “Hey.” She smiles sadly, “Hey. She’s asleep. Now what?”

“Well, you should stay put, look after her…and we’ll be back. Don’t leave the house,” Dean explains, looking at her in that way that hurts my heart. But she smiles, any worry melting off her face, “Don’t go getting all authoritative on me. I hate it.”

Dean glances back at us, Sam looks down grinning acting as if neither of us could hear the conversation. He turns back to Cassie mumbling something I can't quite make out but whatever it was must have been good because he slowly leans in to kiss her. I drop my head and gaze at the very interesting ground, trying my best to ignore the sound of their intensifying making out. A pang of jealousy, longing, and pain shoots through my chest. If the ground wanted to just open up and consume me now I wouldn’t complain, I’d even help it and just throw myself in it wouldn’t have to work very hard. Sam clears his throat, I look up but Dean just holds out a finger to wait as he brings Cassie even closer.

I drop my eyes again.

Loving someone never hurt so bad. Loving him never hurt so bad.

Was it wrong to love him? Was this always going to be my fate? To see him evermore with other girls, loving them more than he could ever love me.

“You two comin’ or what?” Dean asks. I look up once more and this time his lips aren’t on Cassie.

I tug on the chain again, making sure it's secure, my hands getting wet in the process. I wipe my icky hands off on my jeans as I back away, “Alright he’s good,” I call out to Sam who stands feet away from me, closer to the butt of the pickup Dean was driving. He gives a thumbs up to his brother who begins to move the car forward, the pickup moving slowly in the weight of the heavy truck and water pressure.

We had already gotten it up a lot, but it had gotten stuck on the side of the swamp so we had to readjust its hold to get it the rest of the way up.

The years in the water had diminished it. The old black truck was now more like a rust bucket, remains of the swamp water spilling out from the seams. “All right. A little more…little more,” Sam leads, “All right, stop.”

The engine shuts off and Dean heads to the Impala, he pulls it open rummaging through the various weapons. “Now I know what she sees in you” Sam declares with a snap of his finger, meaning he finally understood what that look in her eyes meant. “What?” Dean asks.

“Come on man, you can admit it. You’re still in love with her” Sam clarifies. I nod even though the implications hurt, “Plus it’s not like no one else knows. So the only person you’re hiding from is yourself.”

Dean looks up from the trunk, “Uhh, can we focus please.”

I purse my lips, “Yeah…focusing has never really been our strong suit…” A container of salt is pressed into my chest, “Hold that” Dean says swiftly.

His expression hardens, all jokes put to rest as he dishes out items, “Gas” he says first, handing the large container to his brother, “Flashlights,” he lists out next filling my empty hand with one.

“Ok, let’s get this done,” he quips, closing the trunk.

We trudge back over to the rusty truck, our flashlights leading our way across the grass. Dean places his hand on the handle and I must wonder how he isn’t grossed out by just the feeling of the flaked paint and rotting metal. He glances at us in a silent ‘you ready?’ We give a nod and he opens the door.

A decaying wet corpse falls out the door and onto the soft grass, a small gush of water following its lead. I leap back like a scared cat, clasping a hand to my mouth and nose the decomposition of the body as well as its marinating in swamp water left a putrid smell. One perhaps worse than anything I've ever smelt before which was saying something considering what I’ve hunted.

“All right let’s get to it,” Dean says. Sam pours the gasoline all over the body, careful not to get it close to us and I jump in with the salt, opening the little latchet to sprinkle the small white crystals over the open-mouthed corpse. The satisfying scratch and flick of a match sounds softly beside me in the quiet night followed by the drop of the matchstick on the body. In mere seconds the remains go up in flames, the warm glow of the fire reflecting on the truck just beside it. I hoped no one would come looking over here with the whirl of smoke twirling above us, the heat powerful enough for me to take another step back.

“Think that’ll do it?” Sam voices, staring down at the burning corpse. But his question is followed by the revving of an engine and two blinding lights pointed at us. Without looking in the direction I knew it was the ghost truck. “I guess not,” Dean quips.

“So burning the body had no effect on that thing?” the younger Winchester asks. “Sure it did. Now it’s really pissed,” Dean responds. I glare at him, “I don't know if this is the time for cool jokes.”

“But Cyrus’ ghost is gone, right Dean?” Sam asks, a hint of panic in his voice as the tuck stares us down. But his brother doesn't answer right away, instead, he starts to walk away, “Apparently not the part that’s fused with the truck.”

I go on my tip toes trying to peak into the truck, maybe we missed something like a severed piece of him that didn’t spill out but before I can vocalize this Sam is calling out to his brother, “Where are you going?” I turn around, catching up to the boys, “Goin’ for a little ride,” Dean answers as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “What?!” Sam and I exclaim in unison, “That’s a horrible idea!” I add. But he ignores our concern, “Gonna lead that thing away. That busted piece of crap, you gotta burn it.”

“How the hell are we supposed to burn a truck, Dean?” Sam asks, voice raising in volume. But being the determined man he is he shrugs, “I don’t know. Figure something out.” He rounds the car, opening the driver's door, “At least let one of us come with you, this is horribly dangerous,” I try to reason.

His eyes move up and down my face, before he settles on my eyes once more, “‘Exactly why you’re not comin’ with.” Before I can come up with a retort on how stubborn he is he settles himself into the car, closing the door behind him. I look to Sam for any support on this but he just stares at the car muttering, “Figure some–something–”

I rack my brain for ideas because Dean wasn’t going to listen and would rather be all hot and stubborn than be reasonable, “An explosion?” I suggest. Sam shakes his head, “No, that wouldn’t work. Parts would go everywhere and everything has to burn.”

I huff, frustrated, “I hate when you’re right.”

Dean reverses the Impala and takes off, the engine revering. As predictable as possible the ghost truck roars after him. I try to rack my brain for more ideas, even if we could suddenly light a truck on fire it would take too long for it to burn completely, “Sam, please tell me you got some idea rolling around in there.” He doesn't answer, lost in concentration with his bottom lip between his teeth.

My phone suddenly rings in my pocket, I pull it out swiftly seeing Dean’s name glowing. I flip it open bringing it to my ear, “You okay?” I say immediately. “Uh…yeah,” He says but I remain not convinced, “what are we doing?”

I look at Sam, panicking slightly, “Um, Sam what are we doing?”

He pulls out his phone, “You gotta give me a minute.” He presses his phone to his ear, “He says to give him a minute, I think he’s callin’ someone.”

“I don’t have a minute!” He half yells. “Dude, I don't know!” I panic, “Just…just don’t die, okay?”

“Trying here sweetheart.” I look back at Sam who has stepped away, I give him a hand motion of ‘please hurry up.’ He nods, coming closer to feed me info, “Ask him where he is.” I pull my phone away from my ear putting him on speaker instead, “Okay, Dean where the hell are you?”

“In the middle of nowhere with a killer truck on my ass!” he exclaims, “It’s like it knows I put the torch to Cyrus.”

“Listen to me, this is important” Sam orders, calmly, “I have to know exactly where you are.” Seemingly taking his advice he goes quiet for a beat, “Decatur Road, about two miles off the highway.”

“Ok. Headed East?” Sam follows up.

“Yes!”

A rattle and a bang followed by skitting noise sounds from the phone followed by cursing, “You son of a bitch!”

“Sam!” I yell, begging him to hurry up. “Ok, uhhh, turn right! Up ahead, turn right.” Again the line falls silent, “You make the turn?” Sam questions softly. My heart beats faster with each silent moment that passes. “Yeah, I made the turn!” Dean yells, “You need to move this thing along a little faster.”

“All right, you see a road up ahead?” Sam asks.

“No!... Wait. No, yes, I see it.”

“Ok turn left.”

“Wha..?” Dean half says before he goes quiet again the only sound coming from the line being more screeching and shuffled movement. “All right, now what? He finally responds.

“You need to go seven-tenths of a mile and then stop,” Sam explains. I looked at him strangely, noticing he wasn’t on the phone anymore, but what the hell was he talking about? “Stop?” Dean voices.

“Exactly seven-tenths Dean” Sam repeats.

“God, I hope you know what you’re talking about,” I tell the man beside me. “Me too” he mumbles over the sound of his brother repeating the words ‘seven-tenths.’ I look at him my mouth agape, “You wha–”

“Dean, you still there?” He cuts me off, focusing on his brother again. “Yeah,” Dean responds.

“What’s happening over there?” I ask, not knowing was killing me. “It’s just staring at me,” he answers carefully, “what do I do?”

“Just what you’re doing, bringing it to you,” Sam replies.

“Wha–” Dean began before cutting himself off, the line going quiet for the umpteenth time, “Come on. Come on,” he mumbled quietly but just loud enough for the phone to pick it up. My heart thumps in my chest, anticipation and fear running through my veins as well as something else from those two stupid words–something had to be wrong with me to find that hot now of all times.

The line is silent, for one beat, then another, then another…I grip my phone tighter, “Dean? Dean, are you there? ‘You okay?”

“Where’d it go?” he responds with a mix of shock and confusion. “Dean, you’re where the church was,” Sam explains. “What church!” he freaks.

“The place Cyrus burned down. Murdered all those kids,” Sam clarifies.

“There’s not a whole lot left,” Dean responds.

“Church ground is hallowed ground, whether the church is still there or not. Evil spirits cross over hallowed ground, and sometimes they’re destroyed, so I figured, maybe, that would get rid of it,” Sam explains. I hit his arm, “That was a hunch?!”

Dean adds in with the lecturing, “Maybe? Maybe!! What if you were wrong?!”

“Huh,” Sam hums, “Honestly, that thought hadn’t occurred to me.”

I glare at him sharply, hitting his arm again as I say, “You’re too sassy for your own good.” He laughs, a boyish grin on his face.

I wait in the back, Sam in the driver seat for Dean to say his goodbyes. I liked the back seat, more now than ever because being in the front would mean being able to see out the side mirror and watch Dean kiss the woman he loves and say a goodbye I was sure he didn’t want.

Life was being really unfair and uncool.

I bury my nose in my new book, it would be better to just escape into this world than have to deal with my feelings here in the real world. My feelings in the real world were not fun, they were depressing and hurt…a lot. But no amount of ink on paper formed into beautifully crafted words could fill the gaping hole in my heart, still, I tried as there was nothing else to do.

What is worse is knowing there will never be a chance for me to be loved by him, at least not in the way I do, because there will always be a place in his heart for her. He’ll think of her all the time, dream about her, and perhaps see her in the breeze. His heart belongs to her, and possibly always has.

I needed to accept that. The sooner I did the quicker the pain would go away. I couldn't go on believing I had a chance I needed to huff the flame out now.

No more hope. No more love. We’re friends, always have been, and always will be. That will have to be enough. I couldn’t love him anymore, not if it meant feeling this much pain. I wouldn’t accept his touches anymore for they gave me more hope than I’d like to admit.

No. I was wrong.

Worse of all is knowing that I can’t just stop loving him. Let it be the Gods' fault or the stars or whatever it is I’m meant to believe in but my heart has long been his and always will be. I could never love someone the way I love him, I wasn’t capable of that. Let it be that our love was written in the star's constellations that it was undecided by me or him for my love had to transcend the binds of that nonsense.

I loved him and he did not love me and maybe it was that which I had to accept because to stop loving him would mean to stop my heart from beating. Though even then I suspect not even the afterlife could keep me from my eternal love. And maybe that was pathetic or stupid, especially since he did not care for me in such a way, but it was the truth and no one has ever claimed truth to be a beautiful thing.

I’m brought back to reality with a bump. When did we leave and start driving? I look out the window, we had already made it to the highway…I look at the boys, but both seem fine. Ok then.

“I like her,” Sam says, and suddenly I wish to be lost back in the state I was in moments ago. I would love not to hear or be a part of this conversation. “Yeah,” Dean replies, seemingly just to get his brother to stop.

“You meet someone like her, doesn’t it make you wonder if it’s worth it? Putting everything else on hold, doing what we do?” Sam asks innocently perhaps trying to get him to understand what he had felt with his girlfriend. But something flickers in his face and suddenly he’s making eye contact with me in the rearview mirror, his eyes written in apology as if it just hit him now what all of this was doing to me. It was that puppy dog look.

I smile sadly at him, giving him a curt nod in a silent ‘it’s okay.’ His gaze flickers back to the road.

Dean leans forward pulling sunglasses from the glove box, he puts them on carefully ignoring his brothers' initial question, “Why don’t you wake me up when it’s my turn to drive?” He slouches down in his seat with a sigh. I shake my head, roll my eyes, and go back to my book.

We were leaving Missouri and all would be well, or as well as they could be.

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