#and she scolded me for it and what never left me was ‘ive never seen someone eat so much like you!’

[bumblingbriars]

While not a first generation immigrant child, I still appreciate Belushi: A Biography a lot because Belushi’s family life reminded me of my old home life before my mom and dad died. It also made me feel better about eating bigger portions too because like…. it isn’t just a me thing. It’s just how Mediterranean families eat KAKSJAKSJ

Not to mention Belushi himself reminds me so much of my dad I wouldn’t be surprised if his favorite actor was him. My dad was a big film nut and watched anything and everything that came out back then. Similar mannerisms, humor…

[kaunis-sielu]

Sick: 3

When you wake up you don’t feel much better than you did when you went to sleep. You’re just, exhausted.

But you won’t tell Helen that, she doesn’t look like she’s slept yet, she and Simmons are looking at something in microscopes. You don’t say anything until both women are away from the eye pieces.

“Hey,” Jemma glances over her shoulder at you, she’s in full hazmat gear and looks miserable.

“Hi. How are you feeling?” Jemma asks but Helen doesn’t look at you. You know that she isn’t because you’ll be able to tell with a glance if she’s rested or not.

“Totally fine. Has Helen slept yet?”

“No.”

“Helen.” You scold but she doesn’t stop working.

“I’m fine.”

“It’s been over 24 hours.”

“Not the longest I’ve gone.” She argues and you frown at her back.

“Jemma a little help here.” You look over at her and you see her sigh.

“Helen, we can do this, you should take a break.” Jemma tells her but you don’t have much hope she’s going to listen.

“I’m fine I swear.” She still hasn’t looked at you so you know it’s bull shit.

“Then look at me and say it to my face.” Helen is a shit liar and you all know it. You see her shoulders slump in defeat as she turns toward you. “The last thing we need is one of us down.”

“You’ll have to do it for me.” She tells you with a heavy sigh. “I can’t turn off, not with a puzzle like this.” You nod, if this is what you need to do to make sure she stays healthy and get some rest you’re fine with that.

“Do you just wanna share a room?” You ask and she nods then follows you into the room you’d just left. She lays on the bed that you hadn’t used and once she’s comfortable she looks at you.

“I’m ready.” She says softly and you touch her shoulder. With two slow, heavy blinks she falls asleep.

You head back out into the lab and head directly for Tony, Sam and Clint.

“How are they?”

“No change.” Jemma says, “Which is probably a good and a bad thing.” You nod as you gently touch each of your friends to make sure they’re not in any pain. You’re relieved that they seem to not be in much pain, you’re sure the IV’s they have in probably have some pain killers in them but you’re still glad you can focus more on other things. Like helping figure out what’s wrong with them.

“How are you feeling?” Jemma asks as she watches you take Clint’s temperature.

“Fine. A little tired but nothing like this.”

“The second you feel any sort of symptoms I need to know.”

“Okay.” You agree absently, Clint’s temperature is still up, 100° is a little high but it’s nothing like the 102.7° Sam was yesterday.

“Nox, I mean it.” Jemma says and you meet her gaze.

“I will. Sorry, I didn’t mean to make it seem like I wasn’t listening.”

“I just, I’ve never seen anything like this and neither has Helen.”

“You’re worried.” You don’t have to ask, you can see it.

“Yea,”

“Me too.” You admit softly this isn’t like anything you’ve seen either. Someone taps on the glass of the wall and when you look over you see Steve. He’s holding a bag and a to go cup, god you miss him.

“Hi Honey,” he says with a little smile, “can I give you some food?”

“You’ll have to put it in the slot and send it through.”

“Can I stay?” He asks and you nod. Jemma suddenly vanishes to give you and Steve a moment. “I miss you.”

“I know but it’s the only way until we can figure out how to make this stop I can’t risk you.” You tell him, you can’t imagine how loud he must be talking. “Do you want to send an ear piece through? So we can talk?”

“You’re a genius.” He says with a grin before shoving the food and drink into the little delivery slot and closes the door on his side.

“Is it safe to come back or are you two going to be all gross and lovey?”

“I mean he’s going to get ear pieces so we can talk so, it’s probably going to be gross and lovey for a minute.” You tell her with a laugh and she fake retches. “Excuse me, you’re the one who got married to your bestie so don’t even with me.” You tease her and she laughs.

“I wish he could be here.” You hum softly, you’re glad you know where Steve is but you also wish he was a lot further away.

“Why don’t you get your pepper pods and call him? I know you two like to bounce ideas off one another and he might be helpful.” You open the bag and see a bagel wrapped in paper towel and one sip of the drink reveals that it’s not coffee like it looks, instead it’s orange juice. God you love him.

Steve comes back and sends an ear piece through and then gets comfortable on the other side of the glass as you put in the ear piece.

“I brought our book.”

“Chronicles of Narnia?”

“Yea.”

“You don’t mind reading?”

“Of course not.” You hum happily and Steve starts to read as you work. You’re peering through a new sample of Sam’s blood, whose temperature has gone down even more than before. It’s still too high but you’ll take it as good news, you have to take it as good news.

Helen wakes up a few hours later, you’re still listening to Steve read, he’s finished the Magician’s Nephew and has moved onto the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. You love the way his rich voice fills your ear as you work.

“How’s it going?” Helen asks and Steve pauses, the two of you are still only wearing masks, not the full hazmat suit that Jemma is wearing.

“Temperatures are down and Jemma has been working with Leo, running through things but so far no big revelations. How are you feeling?”

“Well rested. Thank you.” She says and you nod, “I’m going to take more blood. I just, I feel like this is there somewhere.”

“Do you want to take bone marrow too?”

“Maybe. I want a look at the blood again.” She says and you nod. The door to Bucky’s quarantine room opens and when you glance up you’re shocked at what he looks like.

“Buck?” Steve says in your ear and you know you’re not the only one who noticed how pale and confused he looks. Bucky stumbles toward Helen, he looks furious and you dart in front of her.

“Кто ты? Где я?” He growls in Russian.

“Bucky,” you say crouching, you just need to get a hand on him. “I’m your friend, Nox.”

“Кто такой Баки? Я не знаю тебя.” You dive then, touching his leg and he stumbles back. “Doll?” He says in English, and you hear the door open with a hiss. Steve has overridden the safety protocols and is in the room.

“No!” You scream jumping up and crashing into Steve to try and force him back.

“Bucky!”

“Steve?”

“Steve! Get out! Get out!” You’re in a blind panic, if Bucky can get sick so can Steve. “You have to get out!”

“Honey, it’s too late.” He says down at you with a sad smile, “I’m already exposed so let me help.”

“Why.” You breathe, “why would you do this? I can’t, Steve, I can’t.” You can’t lose him and it’s suddenly a very, very real possibility.

“He didn’t know you.” Steve says simply, his hand cupping your face. Of course he would abandon any thought of keeping himself safe if you were in danger.

“Nox! A little help.” Helen says pulling your attention to the her, Jemma and Bucky. “Steve at least put a mask on you dumbass.” She snaps and he nods moving away from you as you move toward Bucky.

“James, I’m going to help you rest now.” You tell him gently cupping his face, you’re grateful he’s already on the floor propped up against the wall.

“I’ll get him into a bed.” Steve says coming toward you.

“No!” You snap, “stay away from him.”

“Honey, I don’t think you can lift him.”

“Watch us.” You snap, and thankfully he stays back.

“Steve you should go to one of the quarantine rooms.” Helen says, and he scowls down at her. You focus on getting Bucky onto a backboard, rolling him as a team you, Jemma and Helen get him onto the backboard.

“On three,” Helen says, “one, two, three.” You all lift him together and place him on one of the two last open beds in the room. God please, please don’t let Steve be the next one. After you get Bucky onto the bed you check his temperature while Helen and Jemma get him hooked up to some monitors. Then Helen takes some blood and hurries over to the microscopes are. Steve watches from the doorway of his own quarantine room, his arms folded across his chest and the sight of him, in here, makes you want to vomit, to scream, to break something and to cry all at the same time.

“We’re going to figure this out.” Jemma says softly, placing a hand on your arm. You know you will, but will it be too late?

Tag list:

@foxyjwls007 @andahugaroundtheneck @also-fangirlinsweden @pagina16ps @princesssterek @valsworldofcreativity @dumblani @inkedaztec @loving-life-my-way @animegirlgeeky @shinycupcakebaker @eralen @sophham @gh0stgurl @killcomet @wonderlandfandomkingdom @abschaffer2 @capsiclesdoll @patzammit @sass-masterkittenmama @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory

[tenaciouschronicler]

November 26 2024 2009

I keep writing these so late in the evening. Its almost tomorrow, you cant type that fast.

I find it very interesting that these last few days have switched between each kid, sans Dave, kinda giving us a moment to re orient ourselves as to where we are in each of their narratives.

Rose has found some very pink, princess coded furniture that is very out of place for a secret underground lab. Theres cats, wizards and the most precious little mutant kitten.

Before the surprise cat, Rose actually was going to listen to the command suggestion to 'Be the Rider' which is a surprise in itself. Seeing the pony in Roses imagination made me think of a few things. First, how were you gonna ride the pony if Im pretty sure its still back in the main house? Then, realizing the pony has a heart on its flank that matches the hearts on the bed spread. And lastly, that pose Rose imagines looks very suspiciously like a wizard holding out a wand. I though you didnt like wizards, hm? These little connections really want you to see that this is all probably Moms stuff. But why is this all here and is it really her things or were these things she gave Rose that she grew out of? Though Rose does state its 'a little odd' and its up for debate if its because shes never seen this stuff or she also finds their location strange.

Now someone correct me if Im wrong, but I dont think Ive seen John with such a flat expression on his face.

In the next panel he and his slime shirt are both frowning (which Ive gotta say, having his shirt mirror his expressions is one of my favorite things). But here, something about it really conveys his apprehension to jumping down. John acts like its all just because of how crazy the room might be with harlequins if its Dads personal space. I dont buy it. Its more like all the addrenaline rush is leaving and hes realizing what hes thinking of doing. Hes never seen Dads room, hes never felt the need to. In another time, maybe his curiosity gets the better of him and he sneaks a peek and gets caught, or Dad finally invites John in to share his secrets once John has become a man. Here, Dad isnt around to tell John yes or no, scold him or embrace him. Its John deciding for himself, whether Dad finds out or not, if it even matters given everything thats happened, and he jumps right in.

Jade is making her way to the exit and I have to say these panels are interesting.

First off, that head in the top left corner kinda looks like one of the ogres John defeated but with massive tusks. Then theres the massive fireplace which is later shown to be taller than her Gandpa, with the pit area looking like a door. Honestly that fireplace doesnt look very safe from what we can see if the rooms floor really extends into it. Anyone could walk right into it if they werent careful. Curiously the fireplace is half purple and half yellow, colors weve seen so far associated with the dark and light kingdoms. And at the top a framed picture of Jade, pretty standard in most homes with a fireplace to be honest (everyday I live with the knowledge theres a very large picture of my quinceñera for everyone to see in my parents living room). I think this is the first time weve seen a human in clothes that arent white as Jade sports a... dress? maybe? i dont know something with capped sleeves in the same yellow shade as the kingdom of light. That in itself is enough to make me scratch my head with questions. Before she can make it past the "houseguests", Grandpa appears silouhetted by flames holding a giant gun that my brain keeps wanting to say is a bazooka. Please tell me they arent gonna strife with guns if he is.

I think the best part about it though is seeing that this is indeed so common Dave has used it before for SBAHJ.

I hope hes finished falling down the stairs.

[wtfuglydemon]

As the year ends i keep thinking how this year was.... something. I feel like life gave me a soft reset and i dont know what to do with it, it's not as much as i was given a second chance on things but as if everything ive built suddenly crumbled down with no warning and im now forced to work around this, for better or worse.

This year already started horribly, after all i just left from a year where i was being humiliated, shamed and scolded for not being sad about my uncle's death, a man they all know tried to kill me multiple times before, i dont know if i am fully over that still.

At the beginning of the year i am suddenly invited to live with someone i honestly didnt even know and since i was so eager to leave home i accepted but didnt realize how much pressure that would place on my back, as suddenly i was responsible by so many things and specially the person. A horrible gamble that only made my situation at home worse because i left after a fight, never contracted anyone and suddenly i had to come back and pretend nothing happened, worsening my relationship with everyone now that they know i hate them.

I actually dont even remember what happened in April anymore besides the fact i tried to kill myself, i only know this because i told some people but my memory of it is completely gone however it is relevant as it is now May and im a very depressive episode the whole month due to my current treatment and i then suddenly forget my mother's birthday at the end of it, im at my worst day and im being guilted and dragged into a birthday party that i do not have since im 10, without a shower, without time to comb my hair, looking my worst in a place full of people who actively hate me, who told they hate me many times, i felt vulnerable and violated, i had to leave early and had a panic attack which led me to go back into self harming, something I hadn't done for years but this is what brought it back and now i was in a very bad mood and locked at my room

Then immediately after, the person i lived with for what was nice for a month or two, she made me start my hrt and gather my documents to change gender and name officially, and gave me many other things but now there was a problem, she was so... obsessive and possessive over me and i never had shown any interest in her and this became weird fast, everything she did felt like she was trying to win me over, all the gifts all the help, it felt like she saw my state and thought i was mentally vulnerable enough, that she could "save" me which eventually led me to be highly uncomfortable and start distancing myself. She got mad at me, started telling me i should go to therapy despite the fact im open to the fact im not returning to one, there was a random threat of sending me to a psych ward, she questioned my relationships and said they were all bad for me despite barely knowing the people i involved myself with AND me, and as i exploded due to my already bad mood and my frustrations about how she was invading my personal space and thinking she is important to me, that only certain people could, she used my words to spread it to all my old group of friends in a way that made it seen like i hated them.

I was immediately abandoned by everyone i knew since 2015 or even early, the only stable relationships i had my whole life, i was called many names, thrown away without a second thought and only for me to find out this was already coming, that they already had a secret chat to talk bad about me without me knowing way before all this, so all this did was give them an excuse. Of course i also no income and now with her doing this, i have to sustain myself with my hrt meds, something around $40(BRL120) per month and $80(BRL240) every four months, my family already hates me and now i need them to buy these, further decreasing even the food i receive and now i can not ask for anything, not only that but i am now being forced into a job i can not have, causing me to once again cut.

It's been like that for two more months, i only gathered enough courage to leave the house once in July to pick up my new altered documents and once my birthday came in September, almost no one remembered, two people did but not even my partner at the time did — all while i watched so many people with September birthdays, even the same day as mine get everything, birthday wishes, gifts, a party. I have a horrible relationship with birthdays, i never had birthdays past 10yo, all i get since then is a cheap chocolate box and a rush to find a job and leave the house and this year was no different but with the added flavor or being blamed for the lack of money due to my meds. To me, birthdays represent the day i start existing and if no one says anything about it, it tells me I shouldn't exist, which is what i thought that day, I was forgotten by everyone again, i ended everything, even with my old partner, that was the third cutting in less than 5 months.

I truly was at my lowest by the end of September and only by October i would have better news, it was when i got much closer to p-chan, my current gf, when we started dating... he cares so much for me, helps me at my lowest moments and makes me feel secure, i now have new people around me that i talk more often with and even if things at home have not changed, they are a lot more manageable when i have someone that understands my mind and is able to help me stay mentally stable after everything i went through this year, i really have no words on how grateful i am to her, she has been my light this whole end of the year, i am going to next year a little more hopeful for the better which is more than i can say going to this year. Ive been beaten down this year over and over and over, with barely any time to breathe, i dont think i am over anything in it yet and im back into my self harming behavior, with cuts as new as two weeks ago but i am better than i was at the beginning of the year and that makes me know that i can start over next year, with better people at my side.