#and she said the fucking ''well it's a big adjustment for some ppl'' thing. like. okay!! wow! i guess we doing transphobic rhetoric now!

[caterjunes]

rly rly love [sarcasm] that after a month+ of being suicidal i finally was like "hey therapist can i get a uhhhh crisis/emergency plan? my spouse is rly worried that we haven't set anything up. and the reason i haven't brought it up before is b/c i'm So depressed i just don't care."

and she was like "oh. um. call a hotline i guess."

cool. i am really feeling like you are looking out for me [sarcasm]

[izzy-b-hands]

fanfic asks! 5, 8, and 14

Ella!!! Thank you for asking 🫂🫂

Putting this under a cut because I am a wordy motherfucker as ever and This Got Long, I'm So Sorry💖

5. What’s a fic idea you’ve had that you will never write?

Oh god. So Many fkldsjaflkdsjfa. I'll stop at twoish here, but pls know that if y'all want more for other fandoms, I can add to this post with more lmaoo, I love sharing these.

-There was one for LOTR that still sticks in my brain years since first having it: Sam suddenly leaving the Shire and wandering aimlessly, but refusing to settle anywhere.

Over the course of it, he would get help/care/concern from wherever he stopped with whoever remained in each location, but he would refuse to stay for more than a few days or accept more than like. Bare bones food/medical care/etc, leading to literally everyone he meets and of course his family and friends still in the Shire to go to Frodo to beg, plead with him.

One last adventure, because their grand adventure to save the world and destroy the ring changed Sam too, even if he never showed it as much. Don't let him go where no one else can follow, and bring him home.

Whether Frodo would or not was the bit that made me shelve the idea, bc I figured a lot of fans would not enjoy the potential avenue I was leaning towards, that he might hesitate only in that he isn't sure he can handle the journey himself.

That, and realising that the way my brain wanted to write it, it might well end with Frodo and Sam realising neither of them can bare to go back, and deciding to wander together until they'd either die or find elves sailing willing to take them to the Undying Lands.

-There's a whole bundle of Saints Row ideas, mostly Gat/Aisha/Boss and all fairly heavy in being AUs where Aisha lives and things go slightly differently for Gat in SR 3 &4 (I'd keep the aliens tho lmao, I want Aisha to get to go to space too dang it!!)

A lot of Gat realising that he keeps nearly losing the people closest to him that give him reason to live (Aisha and the Boss, tho of course the rest of the Saints as well to a slightly lesser extent), but that he doesn't know how to be anything else for them. He's a living weapon many a time, and is genuinely happy that way, but knows that it puts them in danger because he tends to always escalate things, even when later he can admit maybe shooting a motherfucker in the face over a Costco discount was actually not the best way to solve that issue. However, ultimately, The Boss can't seem to live any other way either, and he's accepted that he's at his happiest when he has both of them in his life, so he can't just up and cut with Aisha to a random suburb and leave the Boss behind. And Aisha, despite her contempt for a lot of it, during one of their Big Talks would admit that even if she dislikes what they do, she does enjoy the lifestyle and knows Boss and Gat would be losing their minds trying to adjust to any other life.

On that note, that's also a fic idea I'll probably never write for them lol, where they go straight and move away to somewhere entirely new with Gat and the Boss having to get actual 8-5 jobs (and maybe something remote for Aisha bc I know it would still be risky for her to ever leave the house but. Goddamn let her do something!! Talk to some other ppl!!!) and just. It's not going to last and they know it won't, all three of them, but they're also three of the stubbornest fucking people alive so. When it ends, it'll go up in flames for everyone around them until they're living in a way they find satisfying again.

8. What project(s) are you currently working on?

Somehow too many and not enough at the same time. That is, I'm having a lot of percolating ideas for new things and ways to continue current drafts for a few different fandoms, but none of it is making it down onto paper (without being deleted two minutes later at least lol.)

That said, a couple draft examples:

-an OFMD S2 fix it gentlebeard POV, Stede specifically, wherein the crew comes to visit and be their first official guests and it's...a lot for them. They both already feel the place isn't fixed up enough and then the crew comes in all jovial and essentially as one big happy polycule w/arms full of loot (actually gifts for Ed & Stede that are indeed looted, but my two lil goofballs gotta have their emotional moments before they get that info and realise that the crew isn't just trying to show off & make them feel shit for staying on land.)

This one is actually done and ends happily w/some actual communication between everyone involved, but it sits unpublished bc I think it might be too saccharine (also every time I dare to write for Ed/Stede I get shouted at even if they claim they liked it so. not exactly eager to court that reaction again even if I have anon off on everything lmao)

-May have already talked abt this in prior days but, a Frenchie/Ed s2 au in which Frenchie convinces Ed to let everyone else go, so long as Frenchie agrees to stay with him as his new first mate (read: his new Izzy bc while Izzy is v alive in this, he's also hidden away until Ed and Frenchie leave the Revenge lol.)

I haven't decided on a final avenue yet for this, but right now have been playing w/: Frenchie & Ed operating as a two man wrecking crew while they gather new crew and a new ship, meanwhile Jim, Archie, Fang, and Izzy are working to find Stede and everyone else to tell them how Frenchie has essentially given himself a suicide mission, and even if they agreed to it so they could initially get away, they sure as fuck aren't going to let him or Ed die as a result of all of this. Cut to them having some silly fumbling reunion (literal list of ideas for this, they're all not great, trust me when I say this bit needs more work yet lol), then following the trail of blood, bodies, and tears to find Frenchie and Ed. Who, during all of this, are actually having some meaningful and approaching healthier conversations abt their traumas and have gotten closer during them. A lot closer. Very close. And it's not an issue of monogamy; they make clear at the start with each other that this might not have any legs outside of their current situation, and they both know that Stede probably won't care, and they've both been fucking Izzy so they know he definitely doesn't care (and has told them as much more than once after noticing them Noticing each other.) Their fear is that it will, and that what they both want isn't compatible (Frenchie knows they can't sail forever, but he'd rather die at sea. Ed, after struggling with it, admits that he's still not entirely sure if land or sea is best for him. But he does feel like he has to choose one over the other.) And what the fuck are they gonna do then? Because if that's the case and it ends what they have on every level, that'll mark yet another failure for them in both of their brains, and they're both entirely too fragile for that to happen, it'll be the crack that shatters Ed and splits the Box of Trauma in Frenchie's brain even wider open. But they do have love for each other, and can't ignore that either.

14. If you could see one of your fics adapted into a visual medium, such as comic or film, which fan fic would you pick?

Oh man. I'm gonna be selfish and give myself two bc I can't decide for sure between them and the first one is entirely too selfish a choice on its own on top of that but

Dancer and/or All For Myself (even tho it isn't finished, I know, I know!!! I always want it badly to be finished. That's still my game plan for this one, I swear!)

Like, Taron probably wants nothing to do with the Kingsman stuff anymore, absolutely valid. But my god seeing Dancer as a full movie or extended series or something would be amazing. It's not everyone's cup of tea for many reasons and I understand why, but I worked so hard on that lil fucker. I'm so proud of it. It's one of the few that I think, if I got the opportunity, I could edit and change up enough to sell as just above direct to dvd level movie script. I can't describe how it felt writing it; it was a particular feeling and magic I have not recaptured since writing this fucking fic lmao (still chasing it tho!)

The second one is just because I like seeing Con and Samba together and they seem to have fun and both enjoy the concept of rizzy so like. If in some universe where incredibly unlikely things actually happen, they came to me and asked for finished script version of AFM, y'all would not see me for ages bc I would lock myself down until I had it done. I'm talking living off of red bull and edibles and whatever snacks I remember to cram in my face-fueled writing, coming out the other end in need of a shower, actual food, sleep, but holding a beautifully shining script. I've done it before, and I would happily do it again for them lol. Plus, it would involve filming locally, and I just think that would be cool to do, to showcase the area. Lots of very cool and pretty filming locations, beach days...idk, I'd be happy to come along for every day of it and just do shit to help out. Pay me if you can/want, but I'm just happy to be there to see the process.

Thank you again for asking, as you can tell I had a good time and it was lovely to get to gush abt all of this for a bit!!!

[crispyimagines17]

“Maria Bonita” - [ Timothée Chalamet  | One Shot ]

Summary: We invite you to take a glimpse to the Chalamet’s house. A teenage parents who would do anything to protect, love and take care of their little one despite all the eyes of society. 

Written by: Crispy Imagines.

Soundtrack: main theme

Notes: A promise is a promise ppl, after two years of waiting Maria Bonita is finally here. First of all I want to thank every single person who was asking for this masterpiece, I hope i don’t let you down. Feedback is always welcome and nothing, enjoy it cause y’all deserve it.  Also, we attach several audios to make you feel part of the story, so contrast them just as a background sound. 

Tags: @miss2001babe ; @lg-vangogh ; @expectodonuts ; 

[1]

The creaking of the bed came to a halt as your two-year-old Maddox weigh crashes down the mattress; his tiny feet pressed on daddy’s back, sending a burst of chills down Timothée’s spine. Maddox hands traveled to mommy’s cheeks, pitching or stretching them as he let out a chuckle.

“Mommy?” he whines, kissing your cheeks softly “Mommy” he repeats, nuzzling his face on yours.

“What’s up champ?” Timothée speaks, his groggy voice echoing the room as he stretches his body.

“Daddy!” the little one leaves you and jumps all the way to Timothée.

“Good morning.”

“morning.” Maddox repeats.

You opened your eyes, and the first picture your eyes capture was little Maddox hugging tightly his daddy with a Woody on his right hand. When he saw you, you could see his eyes glowing and leaving daddy’s side just so he can be with you. Immediately you open your arms, letting his tiny weigh crash on yours as he looks at you with pure happiness.

“Hi mommy”

“Hi momma.” You hear Timothée’s voice as you rolled your eyes. He slowly approaches to you two, snugging and earning laughs from both of you. “How’s my family?”

“We’re fine. You need to get Maddox a shower bef-…”

“Noo…” the little kid as soon as he heard shower leaves the bed in such a hurry, leaving his favorite toy in bed. Both of you laughed.

“I’ll make some breakfast and I want you ready by the time I’ll call you.”

“Yes momma.” Timothée gets up from bed and before leaving the room he approaches to give you a tiny peck, then a kiss and later a passionate kiss; grabbing towels from the drawer.

“Come here little man, before I’ll catch you.” You could hear Maddox giggles all over the apartment and timmy’s footsteps running around.

…

“Come on bub, we’re late for school. Just put some damn clothes.” Timothée’s voice came out as desperation as Maddox was running in circles butt naked. He tried everything, baby shark song, let Woody shower with him and even doing some funny voices, but none of them work. He sighs, face palming as he listens to the little one singing “You’ve got a friend in me”.

“Love.” He speaks. “Can you help me with Maddox?”

“Sure, just watch the scramble eggs.” He sighs in relief, and lifting himself from the wet floor walking carefully. When he clashes glazes with his son, he mumbles him

“You’re going to get in big trouble, mommy is coming.” Maddox smile fades and the fear got in his eyes, so he quickly runs to his bedroom bringing the first piece of clothing he found.

…

“Dammit.” You whispered as you tried to adjust the child seat. Timothée was right behind you, holding Maddox; both of them watching you getting pissed.

“Let me try, love. Here, hold Maddox.” You sigh, extending your arms as little Maddox lunges towards you. You lay your head against his, as you rock yourself back and forth. “we’re ready.”

Today was going to be a long day due to your shift, leaving early sounds nice, but also means going to the grocery store, doing laundry, cleaning the house, teaching Maddox, do some paperwork. Although timothée helps you in every way he can there’s still more job to do, like you’re working nonstop all the year. As you drive towards Maddox daycare Timothées hands were on your thing, resting peacefully as he slowly reads some scripts.

“Shit” he mumbles, you looked at him with an arched eyebrow. He realizes his mistake and quickly covers his mouth and watches Maddox, who’s been gazing at the window without a clue of what happened. Timothée let out a sigh as he slowly began to read his duties when the little one laugh.

“Shet” Maddox said giggling as he smashes his toys. Both of you close your eyes in regret, he will now say the word to nonstop and the ladies from the daycare will complain, like always.

“Oh no.” you let out “Maddox, honey.”

“Wa mommy?”

“Remember when we said that kids shouldn’t say big words?” he nods. “You need to stop saying that, it’s rude and people will not like it.”

“Shet.” He repeats giggling.

“Love, say something to your child” you said looking at Timothée.

“Me? Why?”

“Cause you said the big word.” You insist.

“Why I’m always the bad guy…” he whispers as he take a breath. “Bub, what do we talk…”

“shet shet shet shet!” Maddox said out loud causing both parents to sigh.

“Well, we tried” Timothee said as you parked at the daycare.

[2]                                 

Picking up Maddox from daycare was the heavy stuff of the day, receiving each and every day complaints from the teachers about his hyperactivity, molesting other kids or yelling in story time. Today was not the exception, despite the look of irritation from the teacher you were calm and hugging a tired Maddox rocking back and forth.

“Maddox is… a special kid. His behavior today concerned the other teachers due to the fact that the child said the word shit many times. That cause the other kids to follow him and my job here is to ask you, Is everything okay with your… boyfriend and you?” you arched your eyebrows surprised.

“Y-yeah, we’re fine, Maddox is like a sponge absorbs everything, including the bad stuff.” You chuckle nervously.  She shakes her head.

“Kids at your age don’t know how to raise a child, it surprises me that you’re still together and with Maddox temper…” you were in shocked, does she tell you that? And in front of your kid? Oh, you’re so mad you’ve couldn’t hold your tongue.

“Believe me that my kid is surrounded by love and emotional stability lady, you have no right to judge me or my husband. We’ve been swallowing some bullshit since I was pregnant, but I will not tolerate to insult me in front of my kid. So, fuck yourself and your stupid business.” You raised your middle finger and walk towards the exit without looking back.

After you put Maddox in his chair, he looked at you in a lovely way, touching both of your cheeks and smiling.

“Love you mommy.” Your eyes watered as you kiss him on his forehead.

“Love you too.”

…

Going to the grocery store was Maddox favorite thing; the thrill of daddy pushing the car so fast; when mommy buys his favorite cereal and the music that always calms him. So when you said your next destination a chorus of happiness filled the entire car.

“Okay, we’re supposed to get the basic. Love, get a car and I’ll see you on the aisle 2.” You grab Maddox hand but he didn’t walk. “What happened?”

“Daddy.” He points with his little finger towards Timothée direction.

“Daddy will come soon. Come on, let’s go.” But Maddox stayed, making his little body heavier so you couldn’t walk.

“Daddy.” He repeats.

“Love he will come back, let’s go.” You tried once more, but he let himself fall on the floor, starting a tantrum that led all the eyes of the store on you two. You smiled awkwardly picking up Maddox as you tried your best to avoid the judge of the people’s eyes, walking down the first hall as you let him down with tearful eyes.

“Maddox, honey, you need to listen to me.” You cup his cheeks in an attempt to catch his attention. After he saw you his concern became evident.

“wa hapen?”

“Here you are, I thought you said aisle 2.” After he saw your eyes, his smile faded and he kneels with you two. “What’s wrong, baby?” you shake your head.

“Nothing, I just-“ you immediately tried to recover yourself and got up wiping your eyes. “We need to hurry up, we still have to make dinner.” You grab the car. “Love, please take Maddox with you.”

And so were you grabbing everything you need and both of your boys were trying hard to cheer you up by singing or listening to Timothee saying stuff like “Mom looks pretty today, isn’t she?” “We’ll make dinner so you can take a rest”

You were in line ready to pay and behind you there was a nice lady pampering Maddox. Timothee smile to her.

“Taking care of the little brother, huh.” She said waving at him. “what a handsome man.”  You both look at each other without saying anything. It was normal that many people believed one of you was babysitting a younger sibling or a cousin so you didn’t bother to correct the lady.

“Mommy sleep.” Maddox said, looking at you with tired eyes. Your eyes immediately watch the lady who was quite skeptical. “Mommy.”

“Oh” she only said. Your eyes travel to her, you’ve could see her disappointment on her face, it was something you’ve got used to it. You tried to recover yourself, this was too much for one day and it hasn’t ended yet.

“Love, can you pay? I’ll have to take some air.” Timothee’s eyes were concerned.

“Sure love, here, take the keys. Maddox will stay with me.” You grab the keys and exit the store as soon as you can, fighting hard to keep the tears from falling.  

When you get into your car you let yourself go, tears streaming down your face and allowing yourself to feel this way.

The migraine you’ve been dealing with was in its best moment, due to Maddox screams and the tv in all the volume it has. Timothee was in the bedroom with a script; he left you with all the toys, crayons and food on the floor. You sigh, frustrated and just when you were calming yourself you saw Maddox torn one of Timothee’s scripts and laughing. Timothee was behind him with a red face, taking him the pieces of paper to look directly at you.

“Seriously? Are you not watching this kid?” after those words your blood began to boil, throwing him the nearest object.

“Are you fucking serious? I fucking make dinner because you “innocently” forgot, I’m doing laundry so you can go to your fucking auditions clean; I’m washing dishes cause you’re so busy reading your stupid scripts and you can’t watch Maddox. And you’re implicating that it’s my fault that I don’t watch our kid? Unbelievable.” You said furious. “I don’t fucking have a break, I work my 8hr shift, pick up Maddox; do all the chores; helping Maddox with his homework; shower him, giving him dinner; make us dinner; shower myself if I have time; and checking some paperwork. You’re… You’re just auditioning, promising that one day we’ll be in a mansion and lived happily ever after, you do not do anything unless I asked you for.” He was shocked, avoiding all eye contact with you.

“I-I don’t know what to say.” You sigh, leaving the kitchen, taking one of your coats and leaving the apartment.

…

You could hear Timothee’s footsteps behind you, but you just keep on walking, breathing deeply so you can’t say something you regret.

“Wait, love.” He tried to grab you softly by the arm.

“So now I’m your love, huh?” you rolled your eyes, stopping yourself to look him in the eye.

“You’ve always been my love. Sorry for behaving like an asshole. You were right, I’m a completely shitty father. I leave you with all the heavy duty while I focus on a stupid dream.” You could see the sadness of his face, eyes beginning to water. Immediately you cupped his cheeks and touched your forehead with his, staying in silence for a couple of seconds.

“You know I’m the biggest supporter of your dream.” You said in a whisper. “But you have to be a responsible father and husband. We are a team; we’re supposed to help each other in every way we can. I’m not asking to give up on what you are passionate about.” you sweetly pressed your lips against his.

“I love you.” He said, with eyes pure of love that your stomach curled up.

“I love you too, handsome.” You stayed hug for a while, while you feel like there was something missing. It was Maddox!

“Oh my god… where’s the kid?” you lift the head to catch his eyes.

“I left it with Maddie, I think we should pick him up before she calls us.” You nod.

An so where you, walking back home holding hands having the warm sensation that everything from now on will be just fine.

 [Soundrack] [3]     

The sound of nature calms both of your boys, you suggest to travel to the nearest park to set up some wood fire. And now you are carrying Maddox tired body, the little one is closing his eyes so often, and it will not take too long for him to sleep; since he’s got his thump already in his mouth. Timothée was watching the stars, with a sad tone on his face he said:

“Sometimes I forget that I’m a dad. When they invite at some restaurant for brief seconds I forget that I’m someone’s dad, that I change diapers or fed him. And that feels weird, not good weird, like something is missing. I’ll never going to regret being a father at my age, I will have a long way to watch him grow and become anything he wants; and somehow that makes me happy.”

“I don’t regret either. I feel that this kid connects us in beautiful ways; we are his mentors to teach him the good and bad. I think we’re more than ready to take the challenge.”

“I love you. And I’m so happy I chose you to be the mother of my child, even if that means by accident.” You couldn´t help but laugh.

“I love you too. Come on, let’s go to our house.”

“At least let us heard one more song before we go.” Timothee got up shaking the dirt from his pants, he went to the car and shuffle a couple of songs before he found out the one. “This one will work. Let me get Maddox on the car.”

After he let the baby he slowly approaches to you, touching his forehead with yours, rocking back and forth as Maria Bonita was playing on the back.

“Even if this song is made for a Maria. In this park, at midnight with the stars and moon as witnesses you’re my Maria Bonita. The one I will always be in love, beyond my body and soul. I’m all yours baby. Just say the word and we will go to the nearest chapel.”  You smile.  

“Yes.” You whispered on his lips

“Promised me that you don’t lie just because you feel idolized.” You kissed him. “I love you Mrs. Chalamet. Let the world know I Love this woman.” You shake your head, chuckling, the song ended and to seal the promise he kissed you passionately taking from his coat a jewelry box; knealing.

“Will you marry me?”

[trensu]

Episode 27: The One where I Want to Punch Basically Every Sect Leader in the Face. Repeatedly. With a Chair.

And we start off back in the rain, AKA OUR ENDLESS TEARS

Wwx is like, do you remember our promise?

And lwj flashbacks TO THEIR LANTERN SCENE FROM THE ONE WHERE LWJ FINALLY SEES THE LIGHT

WE GET TO SEE LWJ’S PRECIOUS BABY FACE AS HE FALLS HEAD OVER HEELS IN THAT FLASHBACK

IT HURTS SO GOOD

Wwx: i wished to stand with justice and live without regrets. But tell me now, who’s strong, who’s weaker? Who’s right and who’s wrong?

Lwj: wei ying! 

Oh god, his voice! HE’S DISTRESSED

Wwx: is this the promise we pledged our lives to keep?

THEY BOTH LOOK SO HEARTBROKEN RN

Oh, look, lwj is doing the deathgrip of gay yearning on bichen again. We haven’t seen that in awhile AND I WISH WE WEREN’T SEEING IT NOW

Okay, but for real, how can lwj look so hurt here when the actor is literally doing nothing with his face??

I know i’ve mentioned that before, BUT C’MON, HOW?? HOW DOES THAT EVEN WORK??

Wwx: my only regret is that i didn’t stop the jin clan who took living people as bait

I REGRET YOU NOT TAKING DOWN THE JIN CLAN TOO

WE COULD’VE AVOIDED SO MANY PROBLEMS IF WE’D JUST KILL OFF 90% OF THAT CLAN, OMG

And now wwx is all, i missed my chance to protect wen ning before so now i MUST leave to save him

BC WWX IS THE BEST MOST HONORABLE PERSON IN THE WORLD

Oh no

Oh noooo

He’s pulling out his demon flute. We’re gonna get THAT SCENE

Wwx: lan zhan, if i finally have to fight them, i’d prefer to fight with you

Wwx: if i am doomed to die, at least i can be killed by you. That would be worth it.

HE SAYS THAT BC HE TRUSTS VIRTUOUS LWJ TO STOP HIM IF HE REALLY IS IN THE WRONG

AND I AM SCREAMING IN PAIN RN

BC LOOK AT LWJ’S FACE

HE’S LISTENING TO HIS SOULMATE TELL HIM THAT HE WANTS HIS DEATH TO BE AT HIS HAND

Oh god, he’s doing the bichen deathgrip again

He tears his gaze away from wwx and turns to the side TO LET THEM ALL GO PAST

EYES LOWERED AS HIS HEART BREAKS INTO A MILLION PIECES

HE’S CRYING OH GOD HE’S CRYING

THERE ARE TEARS GOING DOWN HIS FACE, OH GOD WHY IS THIS HAPPENING

HE DIDN’T EVEN CRY WHEN HIS HOME GOT BURNED AND HIS FAMILY WAS MISSING AND/OR DYING

And now he drops his umbrella to the ground AS HE TRIES TO DROWN HIMSELF IN THE RAIN

*HYSTERICAL SOBBING*

THEY PACKED ALL THAT HEARTBREAK INTO THE FIRST 6MIN OF THE EPISODE, WTF, SOMEBODY STAB ME

And after all that emotional torture we get Plot Stuff happening

Blah blah wwx at the burial mounds blah blah sect leader banquet blah blah

Ugh, gross, they’re letting the idiot sect leaders talk again

They’re all blah blah wwx is evil blah blah he murders ppl blah blah we hate him blah blah

SHUT UP YOU BUNCH OF WALKING HUMAN-RIGHTS-VIOLATIONS

This whole part here is so difficult to watch. They’re literally just trash-talking my PRECIOUS SUNSHINE BOY

Jc, lwj, and lxc look visibly uncomfortable with what’s going down and they kind of sort of tried to defend wwx but they didn’t present a united front or hold their ground

Instead they let yao and ouyang run their stupid mouths

Anyway

Here’s little itty bitty bits of almost wangxiantics in the middle of this mess

Jgs: yeah, jc, i know wwx is your trusted bro and all but idk if wwx actually respects your authority. Do something about it, maybe

Lwj: *subtly glares at jgs*

And then everyone joins in on dragging wwx’s name through the mud bc apparently that’s the hot new thing in the cultivator world

If you look closely while this is happening, you can see that lwj legit GRINDS HIS TEETH with how much he’s holding back. MY POOR BB HAVING TO SIT THERE AND LISTEN TO EVERYONE DISPARAGE HIS SOULMATE

Jgs: wwx totally doesn’t respect you, jc, my bro. Everyone here heard him say how much he thinks you suck or whatever

Lwj: No I didn’t.

OOOOH, LWJ IS ANGRY AS HELL

HE’S OUTRIGHT GLARING AT JGS 

Jgs: what??

Lwj: i never heard wei ying say that, nor did i see him disrespect clan leader jiang

HANGUANG-JUN I LOVE YOU, LOOK AT YOU DEFENDING THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE, I’M SO PROUD OF YOU 

And ugh, disgusting, jgy steps in to be all “oh, well, wwx said so many awful things that day, who can possibly remember the specifics?”

Lwj visibly swallows here, as if he’s choking back a response, and his lips are all pursed. 

HE’S FURIOUS. HE’S ROILING WITH IMPOTENT ANGER, WHICH IS THE WORST KIND OF ANGER, TBH

That’s all the wangxiantics we get from that terrible awful sect leader banquet

THOSE SECT LEADERS NEED TO GET PUNCHED IN THE FACE

LIKE, A LOT

WITH A CHAIR

OR A TABLE

YOU KNOW WHAT, LET ME JUST TAKE BICHEN AND BEAT THEM ALL WITH IT

OR BETTER, YET, I’LL USE BAXIA. I WON’T EVEN CUT THEM UP. I’LL JUST BEAT THEM WITH THE BROAD PART

*ANGRY YELLING*

Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute! 

This isn’t a wangxiantic

But it is an EPIC MOMENT that should be commemorated.

Because here we get…

*drum roll*

MIANMIAN BEING A BOSS

Jz: blah blah wwx kills our people indiscriminately blah blah

Mm: not indiscriminately

Mm: indiscriminate is not accurate

And everyone around her is like, confused and offended because they’re assholes

Mm: in this specific case, if the overseers did abuse the Wen prisoners and kill wen ning, then what wwx did was not “killing indiscriminately”

Ouyang: nah, the overseers said they never abused/killed anyone

Mm: OF COURSE THEY’D FUCKING SAY THAT. THEY DON’T WANT TO FACE PUNISHMENT, YOU IDIOT

(okay, she didn’t call him an idiot outright or swear, but it was totally there in her tone of voice and also ouyang is an idiot so there)

Mm: you all think you’re so smart and voice your opinions so loudly

Mm: I SECEDE FROM THIS BULLSHIT. FUCK THE JIN CLAN AND YOUR STUPID CLAN POLITICS

And she throws down her jin robes and mARCHES RIGHT OUT OF THAT SHITHOLE WITH HER HEAD HELD HIGH

MIANMIAN PLEASE MARRY ME

Lwj watches her do that and two seconds later follows her out bC HE RECOGNIZES BADASSERY WHEN HE SEES IT (and also she defended the love of his life)

And that badass moment ends

But the banquet of idiots keeps going

The jin clan needs to learn how to shut the fuck up

God, they just go on and on and on

Why are they torturing me like this

OH WAIT, WE’RE OUTSIDE THE BANQUET HALL NOW

We see lwj and mm standing together on a terrace, talking to each other

BUT WE DON’T GET TO HEAR WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER AND THAT HAUNTS ME TO THIS DAY

WHAT DID THEY SAY

TELL MEEEEEEE

Oh, side note to let you all know this direct quote from nmj - “that girl really has a backbone.”

Okay nmj, i’m slightly less angry at you now. I won’t try to beat you with bichen or a table or a chair.

(but now i kinda wish mm would join the nie clan. I think she’d do well there and also i want to see her carry a gigantic saber)

We get some chitchat with the Official Bros™ but idc let’s move on 

(tho i do appreciate the look nmj gives jgy, like, HOW DARE YOU TALK TO ME lolol)

Ooooh, now we’re getting lan fam time

ANGRY lan fam time, uh oh.

Lqr: lwj, have you regretted it? I didn’t punish you when you broke into the Forbidden Chamber bc i thought you’d self-reflect 

Lqr: you shouldn’t have gone to qiongqi way and let wwx go. Should you make one mistake after another?

And lwj is kneeling in front of him this whole time with a blank face

Lqr: what’s the use of getting you to memorize the Great Big Book of Lan Fam Rules?? Tell me, what is rule 52?

Lwj: No association with evil

He answers immediately and without any inflection to his voice.

Lqr: did you forget what happened to your father???

AND WE FINALLY GET A REACTION HERE

Lwj practically gasps and lifts his gaze to meet his uncle head-on

Lwj: my mother, she…!

Lqr: hold your tongue!

And just like that, lwj shuts down again; expression flat and gaze lowered

GOD, THIS CLAN HAS HURT HIM SO MUCH THROUGHOUT HIS LIFE

I MEAN, THEY MUST’VE, FOR HIM TO BE ABLE TO JUST DISCONNECT LIKE THAT

THAT IS NOT THE BEHAVIOR OF A NORMAL WELL-ADJUSTED PERSON

Basically the entire lan clan needs to go to therapy, like, STAT

Oh, i just noticed, lwj has his fists clenched at his sides. He’s clenching them hard, too. I think they’re trembling a bit, actually…

Lqr: i’ve been taking care of you since you were a kid; you’re like my son.i was strict bc i wanted you to stick to the right path and avoid your father’s tragedy

Lqr: that’s what i wanted to say to you. I hope you choose the right path. You may leave.

Lwj still bows respectfully before taking his leave

And i’m sure y’all are wondering, hey trensu, why did you make us endure that angry lan fam time that hurt us deep in our soul?? That wasn’t wangxiantic at all!

That’s where you're wrong, my friends!

It’s actually SUPER wangxiantic bc lqr kept drawing parallels to lwj’s dad the practically whole time

You know, the dad that married their mother who murdered some guy and had the whole world turn against her. 

(Sound familiar?)

The same mother that dad loved with his entire being and did what he could to keep her safe from the ramifications of her actions? By marrying her? And hiding her in the cloud recesses?

YEAH, HE’S EQUATING WANGXIAN WITH LWJ’S PARENTS’ TRAGIC ROMANCE

Bc, you know, that’s a totally hetero comparison to make lol

Oh, now we get to see our favorite Disaster Het be less of a disaster

We’re not going into detail here bc we’re not here for hetero shenanigans, yuck (actually, i’m apparently weak to Pining Idiots of all kinds bc this whole jzx/jyl scene is giving me tender feelings)

BUT

I do want to add that OMG FOR REAL LWJ AND JZX HAVE SO MUCH IN COMMON WHEN IT COMES TO THEIR LOVE LIVES, IT’S FANTASTIC

I NEED 10 MILLION FICS OF THEM COMMISERATING OVER THEIR SHARED DISASTER-NESS

Also, how the HELL did jzx end up being the one who was able to express his intentions clearly? He was all “please don’t go to the burial mounds, stay here with me so i can protect you from all who would want to hurt you”

DAMN IT LWJ, IF YOU’D JUST SAY THAT TO WWX, HE’S UNDERSTAND WHAT’S GOING ON. 

YOU CAN’T JUST BE ALL “COME TO GUSU” WITH NO EXPLANATION

Jzx accomplished this before you did, YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED.

Huh, okay, i guess i did go into a bit of detail with that hetero nonsense. Oh well.

Now we’re at the burial mounds again with wwx

AND WE SEE A-YUAN PROPERLY FOR THE FIRST TIMEEEEE!!

ANY A-YUAN MOMENT IS BY DEFAULT A WANGXIANTIC, GUYS, TRUST ME.

AAHHHH, WE SEE A-YUAN DO THAT LEG-GRABBY THING HE DOES!!!

HE’S SO CUTE. TOO ADORABLE.

I LOVE YOU A-YUAN

Lol, wwx is all if you don’t let go i’ll plant you like a turnip

And a-yuan plops himself down in the dirt like YOUR THREATS DON’T WORK ON ME, OLD MAN, I LIKE BEING IN THE DIRT

Then he asks wwx for 3 elder brothers and 2 elder sisters, awwww. He thinks wwx can grow them in the garden (like cabbage patch kids!!!)

Plot stuff happens

Blah blah wwx and wq share moment blah blah jc shows up blah blah

Lol

Jc sees that glowing talisman door thing and is like THAT SIGN WON’T STOP ME BC I CAN’T READ

And then whips it down with zidian

Now we get some feelings-laden Yunmeng bros time

A-yuan shows up and leg-grabs jc and it’s ADORABLE

But jc yells at him bc he’s a JERK

Wwx scolds jc and then is a Dad to a-yuan: don’t put your hand in your mouth, you were just touching dirt!

Awww, we get to see jc fight back a smile at this! HE WANTS TO BE AN UNCLE, I JUST KNOW IT.

Plot plot plot stuff happens

More plot stuff happens

And the episode ends with us still in the burial mounds with the yunmeng bros

And you know what, i’m just gonna focus on our BAMF mianmian moment bc quite frankly the rest of the episode either had me in tears of anguish or spitting mad. There was no inbetween. 

I’m gonna end up having blood pressure problems at this rate.

I’m too poor young to have blood pressure problems.

The Jin clan better pay for any medical bills I get because of them, I'm just saying

Return to Masterpost

[fictional-worlds-are-exquisite]

i am very much enjoying my vague void! it's currently blasting hozier at full volume and that's almost louder than my internal screaming (don't worry, everything is fine, i just saw a spider)

i've never once in my life have followed a recipe correctly. all of my measurements are completely random and whatever happens happens. it is no longer in my hands. whatever eldritch entities exist take the wheel. and i absolutely refuse to spell anything in english without autocorrect because y'all have way too many double letters and random vowel placement

thank you! sadly, i won't have a break right now, because we just had christmas vacations, but the start of the new semester is always pretty chill. and you're absolutely right, i should take up necromancy! the snow and the cold will add to my mysterious vibes. i just need to get a big black cape with a hood to complete the aesthetic

i definitely picture everything above 5'6 feet as the same height. 5'7 and 6'2? the exact same thing. no difference here

how is morepork a real bird name. it's just... more pork? but the bird is magnificent. i completely approve of your first order as bird queen, not that you need approval from mere peasants like me, but it's a great order. ohhh salps look really cool, and it does look a lot like it! when you said boob implant i thought of mermaids and them using salps as boob implants but then i realised wait wouldn't jellyfish be better for that? because of their shape? ignoring their little leggies they're quite boob shaped, no? and then i realised that i was thinking about mermaids and alive boob implants... if i had to think it, you have to read it. i'm sorry

i was sold before but now i'm even more sure that i want to hire you. and I'll make sure to have lactose free cheese for the backflips (unless you want the lactose version? i'm not judging). will the biting of ankles cost extra?

that sounds like a brilliant set-up for a horror movie where they kill off all the children one by one. it's absolutely horrifying. if something like that would've happened to me i would've most likely just passed out. whatever happens afterwards is not my problem. and now i really don't want to know what the hell your leg was caught on because that seems like knowledge that would get me killed

ah so you're a fellow dirt eater? according to my mom my favourite thing to do outside when i was a little kid used to be eating sand. just shovelling handfuls of it into my mouth and crying when my mom made me spit it out. which i refuse to believe. if there are no photos it didn't happen

you warm climate people are starting to make me think that i'm better adjusted to the cold than i thought i am! it's either that or our buildings are better heated. i definitely don't know if anyone else calls hot water bottled hotties but i like it so from now on i'm using it

that's so cute! i was clearly a way more selfish child because when i found any amount of money i just kept it and bought candy as soon as i could. i clearly couldn't save money then and i can't now. we have stores like that (or i'm assuming that they're like that solely based on how they sell lollies) and they used to be my favourite thing because you could get so many lollies for such a small price!! and my mom even used to let me order for myself sometimes so i always felt like a very big girl jsjshsbsjk

also the fact that i can't send pictures on anon is a crime (yes i know why and it's good that that's not possible because can you imagine anons being able to send pictures? oh no is all i have to say about it) but anyways. because i have this one super cursed photo that reminded me of you and now i can't share it :((

duuuuude, sick void bro. sounds like a vibing void. I feel like I haven’t seen a spider in awhile. Other than daddy long legs. But they’re chill. They mind their own business. 

I nearly always follow recipes exactly. My mum is like oh cook this for about 7 minutes? Yeah sure. I’ll take a wild guess. I’m like they say exactly 7 minutes so I’ll set a timer for 7 minutes and start a stopwatch so if it does seem to need more than 7 I can keep an eye on the extra time and be aware of exactly how long it takes me for next time. Other people are like oh let's see I have [lists 5-10 things in their fridge], hmm...oh I know what I could make with that! I’m like I have beans in my freezer because one recipe required them and no other recipes I know how to make do so what am I supposed to do with these now,,, this is stressful,,, basically I barely know how to cook and recipes are the only things saving me in that area. That is entirely fair. Except for the fuck duck, and murder is not the word you want surely, situations, it’s pretty helpful.

Ohhh I see. At least the start is chill! For a little! Before your entire situation spirals out of hand and you’re behind in every class and it’s taken you a whole day to read 10 pages and you’re exhausted and it’s only week 2. Just me? ok. fair. anyway. I want a cloak so bad. One of my uni friends tempted me to class because she said she was wearing a cloak so my depressed ass honest to god dragged myself out of bed and to said class just to see it. It was worth it. They’re incredible. Everyone should own a big cloak for the aesthetic.

I’m glad it isn’t just me hahaha. I can visualise my own height in feet but everything else is just the same size that is a vague amount taller than me, mentally.

It’s also known as the ruru. But the name morepork amuses me. It’s named after the call it makes haha. It does sound like it’s asking for more pork if you know to listen for that. thank u for ur approval, it means a lot, turns out becoming bird queen didn’t ACTUALLY get rid of my anxiety disorder weirdly enough so validation is great! lmaooo. What if the jellyfish stung them tho? At least salps wouldn’t do you dirty like that. The mermaids would just look like there are hundreds of bugs crawling around in their boobs, flesh shifting as they float around. Which is a vibe. If you’re into that. Jellyfish WOULD make a more solid, single, implant, some of them are definitely boob shaped. But that’s kinda boring no one’s gonna be traumatised by that. Salps on the other hand...yeah, that sight will DEFINITELY traumatise someone.

To be PERFECTLY honest I haven’t done a backflip in years but for lactose-free cheese? Dude. I’ll be going back to training. Gonna be the best backflip you’ve ever seen. As long as it’s not Tasty cheese I am content, but lactose free IS better. The biting of ankles will not cost extra, it is a pleasure to be allowed to do that.

Oh it absolutely would be. It’d be very funny if it reached the wider world bc people would probably be like ok but who would send kids into the bush like that,, it’s an odd concept. meanwhile everyone who grew up in nz is gonna be like y’all, you’re not gonna fuckin BELIEVE what i experienced growing up, it’s real dude. On one hand, I feel like murdering kids in a movie is questionable, on the other hand, It exists, so maybe people would be down for it. I feel like it’d be a good concept even if it wasn’t murdery tho. Like psychological horror? I’m not sure if I’m using that category correctly I don’t watch much horror. A kid following the rope but then being shifted into a different horror dimension but they never take the blindfold off because their teachers said not to and they’d probably have to let go of the rope to do it...I feel like this could work super well as a short film. The viewers see everything. The child just knows something is off and no one is coming when they call for help. I am so down for this. I also do not want to know what my leg was caught on. Some things I am better off not knowing.

yes! I am a fellow dirt eater! We had a sandpit at home (that’s a little bold. It was a large plastic shell that my parents filled with sand. technically a sandpit. but not fancy sdflsdkfsdf) but I don’t think I ever tried to eat it. Then again, I possibly did and just don’t remember because there’s no photo evidence of that one. I’d have to ask my parents sdfhsjdfs, I would however fully believe them if they said yes. it’s very characteristic of me. I don’t doubt it for a second. muuuum that’s my emotional support sand don’t make me spit it out smh the disrespect these days.

Oh I’m absolutely terrible even by most people’s standards around here when it comes to cold and hot temperatures. I remember sitting in the sun in my school shirt and school jersey in summer on a blazing day like it’s a bit chilly, isn’t it? Meanwhile my friends were in the shade absolutely dying from the heat. Likewise in winter I’d be shivering, teeth chattering, dying with my long sleeve thermal, my school shirt, my school jersey, my school jacket, my longs, warm socks and sneakers and gloves and school scarf while ppl would be walking around in a shirt and shorts like it’s a bit warm this winter huh? my body didn’t learn how to thermoregulate and it shows. But yeah NZ does also have a reputation for shittily insulated buildings and such. It shows. skhdfsfs if it’s not common use maybe don’t say can i have a hotty to someone without context but otherwise go ahead lmao. it’s a fun shortened version.

I was typically a very good saver, to the point where my extended family started gifting me gift cards and vouchers for Christmas and my birthday because if they just gave me money I’d put it in my bank account to save towards uni once I hit like, 12 years old. Which I think was a smart move. But apparently, I’m supposed to buy myself ‘something nice’ with it. I think I’m still an okay saver but I’m not as strict anymore. I’m aware of how much I can spare and I’m not just like you can never get anything for yourself ever, so I do get lil things for myself sometimes. oooo yay! At least you know what I mean. But yes. They were the gold mine for lollies. Absolutely terrific stores. My mum would be like hey lindsey how about you order? And I’d be like mother, I am 7 years old and I have an undiagnosed anxiety disorder everyone assumes is child shyness why would you think I would want to do that. Instead I will whisper my choices to you. After therapy tho I felt pretty rad for picking my own lollies by myself. I was like 13 at that point but sdfkjhsdf listen I got there in the end.

sdfkjsdfkjhsdf I like that a cursed photo reminded you of me. That’s all I need to hear. Tumblr said no anon dick pics but they also said no anon cursed photos either,,, very sad. for the latter part. the first part thank god. If I could turn on photos on anon I absolutely would just to see this but I don’t think I can :(

[thefudge]

What do you think are the main differences between book!Arya and show!Arya? What do you think about them? (i don't know if you have written anything on this topic, if you already did i'm sorry)

i haven’t! but im sure some of my arya thoughts are on here, just not all of them put together

whenever i see show apologists talk about arya, they usually go: “oooh, you think she’s a psycho here?? she does worse things in the books”

and a) arya stark is not supposed to come off as a psycho (does she suffer from deep mental strain due to trauma? yeah, that’s different)

b) saying she does worse things is MISSING THE POINT

it’s not the violence that matters (well, it does, but not as much), it’s arya’s  REACTION and ABSORPTION of it 

everyone in asoiaf has to compromise at one point. there are no innocents. but it’s how people cope with these situations that make them, you know, people

arya-bot3000 from the show is not really a human being 

main differences:

1. book!arya is afraid all the time and this is an important aspect of her story  (like her father said, that’s the only time you can really be brave.) she is hardly ever sure of the outcome of her actions. just one example: her escape from harrenhal in the book is a terrifying ordeal which she goes through because there doesn’t seem to be another way out. show!arya strolls confidently out into the open while gendry cowers in fear. show!arya seems brash and self-sufficient even when she’s down. show!arya has “defeated” fear somehow. she strolls into danger like a weathered soldier….which….means she’s got nothing left to learn, i guess (to be clear, this has gotten worse with each season. s2!arya might as well be courage, the cowardly dog in comparison to s7!arya)

2. this brings me to emotions. book!arya feels them in SPADES. if you go have a look over her chapters and you consider the adjectives used and the stylistic choices, her POV is one of the most emotionally charged there is.  another thing is, arya sucks at hiding her emotions. which seems to be a problem for her spy training. as a faceless man, she shouldn’t go to pieces when she stumbles across her past. for instance, she kills Dareon just cuz she realizes he’s a night’s watch deserter. dude. come on. that’s a huge no-no if you’re trying to become this impartial embodiment of the god of death. and the house of black and white know she sucks at her emotions and i think they also know she won’t ever truly be faceless. i think they’re just happy to have a Stark with warging abilities under their control. this long diatribe is just to say that the show writers haven’t understood shit about her training. because in the show, they….sort of have their cake and eat it too. they make arya an excellent assassin/faceless man, but also…have her choose not to be one…because???  literally, her last scene with jaqen hagar is him saying “you truly are no one now” and her going like “psyche! u thought! i’m going back home!” in the span of five minutes. ….there is no point to this. and THEN when we see her in winterfell in s7, she’s got the masks with her. SO, she has embraced the training while also rejecting it??? do d&d care??? (and see, they MIGHT have made this work if they had made her abandon the masks altogether. some s6 episodes seemed to be hinting that arya disagrees with the house of black and white cuz this is what got her friend, the actress, killed. and yet, that one-time friendship doesn’t seem to matter in s7. arya embraces her (incomplete and nonexistent) training. because???

3. book!arya doesn’t hate femininity and all things girly. she envies them. there’s a difference. book!arya actually wishes she could be beautiful and feminine AND boyish and adventurous at the same time. it’s the fact that she wants these things which seem contradictory in westeros society that makes her lash out against women who fit the bill. show!arya proudly says “most girls are stupid”. myep.

4. book!arya gets attached to people BIG TIME. show!arya used to have that kind of empathy towards others. not anymore. book!arya still sadly recalls yoren who was supposed to take her to the wall in acok. she STILL to this day thinks about that orphan girl, weasel, whom she met in acok and whose name she used to hide her own identity. she immediately takes to certain braavosi courtesans and has favorite mummers and friends by the docks. meanwhile, show!arya is reunited with hot-pie and acts like he’s a gum on her shoe. LISTEN, i do think that arya stark is not gonna be super well-adjusted when the War for the Dawn ends. if she survives, i know she’s not gonna be a social butterfly. but her desire for connection with others WILL still be there. her compassion for others WILL survive. the creators of the show decided that the only way they can show a “grown up” arya who is wise and strong is by having them retcon her entire emotional journey. many ppl have wondered, for instance, why they didn’t give us an arya/gendry reunion. u know why. because they’d have to actually write arya as a human being with emotions. those stilted smiles she gave sansa wouldn’t cut it anymore. cuz gendry saw sides of her she’s not ready to remember. and d&d have decided she is a cool badass now. i would NOT be surprised at all if they never give us a gendrya reunion. i rly wouldn’t. 

5. book!arya definitely holds grudges and is convinced that only the lannisters are to blame for her troubles. she thinks eradicating them and their cronies will be enough. that’s a flawed, but reasonable perspective. what book!arya doesnt do is blame her sister for all of this.  even if book!arya found out about sansa’s letter to robb, she’d, at most, think sansa was naive to trust cersei but….that’s fucking it. in fact, this whole thing would make cersei the top name of her list. meanwhile, show!arya is a step away from putting sansa’s name on the list. book!arya hopes sansa is still alive. show!arya hopes for her death. and no, their flimsy reconciliation at he end does nothing to rewrite this terrible arc. 

6. the show, i guess, didn’t have the budget to stay in braavos longer (altho it wasted some of that budget on flashy, ineffective fight scenes between her and the waif). this cuts arya’s arc veeery short and reduces her whole character. because arya’s quest for identity is seemingly resolved. when that is NOT the case in the books. the fact that she’s got so many names and constantly shifts from one to the next, the fact that Cat of the Canals is exercising a deeper power on her than her other aliases is not explored at all in the show. because d&d think that arya’s time in braavos is about becoming some kind of seasoned Stark warrior. HAHA. so these guys are not even writing the same character. forget differences, their arya might as well be one of the sand snakes or whatever. 

it might be worth noting that yeah, the sand snakes and brienne are written in exactly the same way. any woman who can hold her own on the battlefield has to relinquish emotional depth. there’s no time for having existential crises, because in their reality, you’re either  Badass Strong Man-Woman or a Naive Crying Woman-Baby. no in-between. thx d&d

so that would sum it up for me. there are 100 more differences if you went through the plot book-by-book, but these are the most glaring thematic ones for me. 

show!arya at this point is a bot, pure and simple. 

[roxannepolice]

Ur the only bitch in the house respect. Seriously though, I saw TLJ and liked better than Tfa because I appreciated it more because i like a bold fuck up more than a safe rehash. But then I saw it on netflix and I had the thought, 'does lf not want me to care about the resistance/rebels?' because if they didn't then quite frankly that's how you'd do it, all the 'failures' boil down to either wanting to kill the ppl viewed as space nazis to hard or being 'too compassionate' and even after (cont)

them being reduced to what? a a couple dozen? they’re all standing around chill like they just broke for a meeting break around a water cooler. meanwhile the big bad who’s gonna be that for at least im betting a third of the finale is on his knees crying. i know its supposed to be ‘crime never pays’ or whatever, but seriously, they’re down to a single ship, they’re potential allies said ‘lmao no’ and the biggest source of funding just got blown up. they’re gonna win and we know that but the /narrative doesn’t even pretend otherwise/. and i thought, oh god maybe it is as shit as everyone says. but then you gave me hope but I still have one remaining fly in soup so to speak. There’s gonna be a ST after the ST and we all know it. It may be 20 yrs or whatever but it’s coming. So how do you idk rationalize the idea of integrating the shadow of the empire with the need for there to be an enemy for the war of the warry stars? stormtroopers are ~iconique~ and it was always the biggest stumbling block I had to the stormtrooper revolution. Why would any company worth its stock swap out an instantly recognizable and marketable baddie for idk some other cgi alien army or whatever? love to hear ur thoughts and thanks.

Thanks, anon, those are some really great points! 

Yes, I am a bit frustrated with the way the good guys™ of this trilogy are depicted as - as a collective because obviously we felt for Paige Tico - virtually invincible, getting not one but two jedi ex machina to get them out of the problem. Maybe I should mention that while I use the ex machina term quite extensively, I don’t consider it a bad move by default - sometimes a lightning from a clear sky can have its dramatic beauty. What is frustrating is when a situation is clearly not hopeless yet the text insists it is only solvable by supernatural intervention, as, imo is the case with rock lifting Rey. TBH, when the resistance run into the rocks blocking their way, my first thoughts were huh, they can blast their way through, maybe a shot from MF will clear the way, or maybe we’ll get some teamwork scene where all the members will combine their forces to quickly deal with the problem. But no, we got Rey lifting rocks with the force and being amazed at herself lifting rocks and resistance also being amazed by her lifting rocks and Luke crying joyful tears at the thought of her lifting rocks - and in result the only character I actually felt for was the man who was faced with his holy murderous uncle basically praising the girl, to whom he offered a galaxy, for dumping him, as practically everyone else in his life did. This is some very human venom that gets spit in the I’ll destroy her and you and all of it line. 

But still, I insist the screenwriter who also came up with the You’re nothing but not to me line which is still being analyzed 8 months later and also manged to give a beautiful and satisfying end to the journey of one of cinema’s icons, isn’t oblivious of the contrast between those two scenes and bordering on emptiness lightness of the political subplot. Just imagine how much satisfying the rock lifting would have been if we have seen Rey simply fail at anything before this scene - for example, if before taking up the ls to train she wasn’t training with her staff only, exactly, trying to put rocks on top of each other - and failed and then picked up the ls in frustration. Then her “apotheosis” at the end would feel much more earned and it’s really basic rules of storytelling I point out, so it’s not a matter of Rian Johnson being Fellini and Antonioni and also my countryman Roman Polański all rolled into one only a good movie making craftsman that he is to figure this out. Of course, there is much symbolism and subext to this scene but again - the subtext and symbolism in the overall movie point out to an ending more complicated than gratuitous dragon slaying.

Ending the whining and turning to the actual question - what about future installments? Well, first of all it is very possible that next trilogies will be perhaps closer to usual action based movies, maybe not completely dropping the deeper psychoanalitical symbolism but also not operating on it like the Skywalker saga has been and should be so till the end. It very often seems to us that once we finish the psychoanlysis all our problems will disappear but that’s really not the case - it may be that they’re only about to commence. TBH, I was fully prepared for this trilogy to drop the jungian elements, since RotJ could technically be the end of individuation - Luke reconciled his father’s self and shadow, as well as understood his own shadow. So when tfa’s opening crawls informed me the new villains are actually old villains revamped I felt almost disappointed - only to be positively surprised by one of the stormtroopers turning out to be trilogy’s hero. Still, after tfa itself I was inclined to think creators were just too lazy to come up with something new and maybe are giving some commentary on neo-bad things springing up across the globe. But tlj and additional materials made me think that they really have something new to say about the conflict. Ex-imperials were exiled rather than reintegrated or even imprisoned, galactic history kept Anakin Skywalker and Darth Vader seperate entities, finally Anakin’s denied shadow was directly complicit in his grandson’s fall - all that reeks of repression and the more I thought about it, the more sense it made. Because Leia would, and as it turned out did, find it much harder to deal with her father’s memory than Luke, as it wasn’t he who was held still to watch his whole planet get blown up - and yet it was Leia who passed the Darth Anakin genes on, so obviosuly she would have to deal with her father someday.

Tell your sister you were right, the actual last words Anakin has ever spoken, take on a brand new meaning now, don’t they?

But  perhaps more importantly, as far as storytelling and marketing are concerned - the real question isn’t why should they drop iconic villains only how long can they actually keep up the same villains without them losing all dramatic value? Aside from the movies repeatedly employing storytelling devices to keep us unworried about the heroes, that’s the main reason why the political conflict in this trilogy is so emptily obvious, or at least, as I hope, seems emptily obvious. Now, of course, you never really expect villains to win in kids’ movies but a new villain is always someone that needs to be introduced, recognised, have his methods and motives exposed - and that iteself makes the story more interesting. A new villain is someone heroes need to learn, adjust to and this is what triggers their own inner journeys as well as tells the audience something new. Rebels and empires are basically angels and demons at this point and how may times can you watch white clad blondes with circles vanquish red-and-black clad brunets with horns as you know there’s no way it won’t end this way? Empires are Star Wars equivalents of Daleks and let’s face it it’s the Weeping Angels that scare us now, Daleks we just want to exterminate our sadness.

also dr Who bases on time travel so linear storytelling doesn’t apply

The only type of villain that can stay the same for who knows how many episodes is the mastermind with a secret organisation who always sneaks away - but no massive political-military organisation. And even they finally become their own parodies.

I should add, Solo very positively surprised me in this aspect - actually I would say it’s the Stories that keep me so optimistic about this trilogy, what with Galen Erso, Saw Guerrera and imperial officials from a Forman movie - with their depiction of crime syndicates. Dryden Vos isn’t your usual chaotic neutral criminal that’s still lesser evil than evil empire - it’s he who used up Enfys’s people resources of coaxium, yes, to sell them to the empire, but it was still he who was responsible. This really makes me think Disney-LF has some wider vision of the GFFA - and there are more potential for conflict there than just angels and demons RRR and Hugo Boss uniforms

And to wrap up, don’t forget our beloved turtle like helmets I can’t be the only one who always thought of turlte shells looking at stormtoopers? technically started as the good guys - so it’s possible we’ll keep their iconicness.

[comphetforreal]

my post for the april tc challenge by @morethanwords0475

im putting all the days in one post for my own convenience and will edit the post to add more days :)

also some questions i didn’t rlly have an answer for so i just deleted them lol

Day 2: What is the earliest thing you can remember about your TC?

with T she has been my spanish teacher since year 7 and she’s always been amazing, i’ve always been the kind of teachers pet / try hard in her class but she’s always known i love learning spanish and work rlly hard at it :D

with M actually when he joined the school (only this year) everyone was like omg he’s so fit and i was like he is the most plain ass average man i’ve ever seen

then my best friend acc got a crush on him and for ages i didn’t get it?? partially bcos i don’t like men /r yk but after properly meeting him and also hearing about what he’s like i’ve realised his appeal isn’t his looks he’s just genuinely an amazing teacher and rlly nice person :(( sorry that was long but yeah

with R everyone saw him and went yeah that guy has kids in his basement, like /j but he does give mad like serial killer vibes he’s so scary fr

Day 3: Do you like your TC’s subject? Do you consider yourself to be good at it?

spanish: YES i’m getting a 9 (A**) and i’ve loved it since i started learning it 10 years ago, i only got T in year 7 when i started secondary tho

chemistry: i’m getting a 7 (A) which seems good but my school is a grammar school so that’s just kinda average here yk? i am quite good i think but i still want to improve, i suppose i like it but it’s not my favourite thing ever

biology: R doesn’t teach me and i’ve never interacted w him in a biology setting but in getting a 6 (B) atm ://

i rlly wanna bring my grade up to a 7 for the real gcses so i’m studying a lot, i suppose i like it, i find it the best of the sciences because there’s the least maths involve yk 💀

Day 4: How do you feel about your age gap?

idrc, idk the exact age gap for any of them and none of mine are romantic so thats not that big of a thing ig

Day 5: Have you ever said anything to your TC that showed you favoured them? Have they said anything like that to you?

T thinks im great fr, once i asked her about smth in a spanish book i was reading and she told me then went to the cupboard and got me another spanish book to read and she said just whenever i want i can borrow books from that cupboard to read B)

Day 6: Have you ever noticed any small habits that they have? If so, what comes to mind first?

M HE FUCKING HE ALWAYS FIDDLES WITH HIS PENS AND LIKE ROCKS BACK AND FORTH ON HIS HEELS ITS SO CUTE

he also like adjusts his clothes a lot which is cute

Day 8: Does your TC ever talk about what it was like when they were still a student?

no not rlly, sometimes T talks about like school in spain because shes from spain but thats it i suppose

Day 9: Does your TC have a significant other? If so, what do you know about them and how do you feel about them?

SOBBING AND CRYING M HAS A WHOLE WIFEEEEE idk much abt her tho

same w T, she has a husband i think but she never speaks abt him

Day 10: What is the longest time you have gone without seeing them?

probs weeks/a month or two w summer holidays/half terms

Day 11: What do other people usually think about them?

nah everyone loves T she’s so nice and fun, even the kids that muck around in her lesson have usually said that she’s actually rlly nice and would teach them well if they acc tried in spanish yk

for M quite a few ppl in our year also have a bit of a thing for him (like 3?) but also most ppls opinion of him is that he’s rlly nice, before i met him that’s all ppl said about him, how like he was genuinely a nice teacher

for R i have heard a few others think he’s hot but most ppl are either terrified of him or make fun of him or both

Day 12: Do you often make up excuses to speak to them? What kinds of excuses do you like to use?

no stopppp for M i so want to but i’m always too nervous, i’m considering when revising after school one day going to his room and asking if i can borrow a textbook for a bit to help w my revision but i’m scared like idk he’d say no or that would seem weird

i don’t make excuses to talk to T more than we do but already we talk a lot, i always put my hand up in class, if i’m unsure of smth she will come over and explain to me, sometimes after class if there’s smth abt spanish i need clarifying i’ll just stay behind for a minute and ask, i once even showed her the spanish novel i was reading, and she always says hola to all her students in the corridor which is nice and sometimes if the corridor isn’t busy she’ll stop to have a little conversation with me

Day 13: Other than the subject they teach, what are they really passionate about?

in general M is rlly passionate about like learning and you can tell he loves to help ppl learn it’s rlly sweet :)

Day 15: Which MBTI personality do you think they are? (If you don't do MBTI, which Hogwarts House do you think they would be in?)

none of these are based on like proper typing i just did these kinda quickly lol

M - ESFP

T - ESTP

R - ISTJ

Day 16: If you could go back in time and choose, would you still choose to develop feelings for your TC?

i just wish with M i started going to chem support sooner, i was going to start going back in december but 1) i was scared so only went to the ones my own chem teacher ran (not M) and 2) most after schools at the time i was having gcse drama rehearsals so i couldn’t acc go to chem support that often anyway but then even when rehearsals ended i just completely forgot those support sessions existed until now coz i was rlly stressed n stuff but yeah i think i would still wanna have feelings for him but just wish i did sooner so it wasn’t that i’m running out of time coz in less than two months my gcses are over and i’ve finished at that school, well lower school, i will be staying for sixth form but i am NOT doing chem a level lmao but yeah so i’ll still see him around ig

Day 17: If it was the last time you would ever be able to see your TC, what is one thing you would never leave without saying to them?

with M i would wanna thank him for helping me realise i’m not just stupid and that wish revision and hard work i rlly can improve, also that i can tell he just loves teaching his subject and his whole vibe and how genuinely nice he is, just to never change that for anyone and that he’s literally inspired me to do better

with T i would want to thank her for all the years of teaching me and how her lessons have always been a highlight of my day and how she is genuinely an amazing teacher

Day 18: When was the first time you cried because of them?

literally on monday this week (25/4) for M coz i think i posted abt it actually, but i genuinely thought i was just Bad At Chemistry and science in general and there was no hope of me getting better / understanding certain stuff but he really broke down everything and explained it and helped me and now i rlly do understand those topics so when i went home i got all emotional bcos he is such a good teacher and made me realise i’m not just stupid and that i can improve

i don’t think i’ve cried coz of any of the others tbh

Day 19: How well do you think you know them?

with T i think i know we pretty well but i haven’t had enough time with M or R to really get to know them

Day 20: Do you ever lie to them? About what?

no actually, with M i was honest when he asked if i had revised stuff / if i knew about smth at chem support

and with T again i’m honest if i don’t know something i’ll say, i’ll still try and answer but yk, but i usually know in spanish anyway

Day 21: What is the longest time you have spent together with them?

once R covered my english class so an hour? but that was my whole class, i’ve never been alone with him

T again mainly when she teaches me but also my after my speaking mock she talked me to for a bit just us which was nice coz they were running ahead of schedule

M <333 chemistry support <3 so like an hour and a half nearly and it was just us it was so nice

Day 22: If you have had other TCs in the past (or right now), how are they similar to or different from your current (or primary) TC?

no all of mine are like completely different fr it’s so weird

like M is super nice and so is T but R is SO SCARY and M and T are very different in other ways too

Day 23: Have you ever seen your TC in clothes they don’t usually wear? Casual clothes if they usually wear formal attire or the other way around?

once on non uniform day M wore a BROWN T SHIRT AND JEANS it was SO UGLY i was so disappointed

sir please why couldn’t you have STYLE

i could fix him* *his wardrobe

Day 24: When was the last time they made your heart thump?

stoppp omg the other day when walking into assembly i made direct eye contact with M for a few seconds and afterwards my heart was beating so fast omg

Day 25: How do you think your TC would react if you confided in them when you felt sad or stressed or anxious?

i think T would be super understanding and nice tbh, i think she would be good at offering advice for most stuff, also if i was anxious about spanish exams/grades she would assure me im doing fine so :)

with M im not too sure coz like we arent close like at all coz he doesnt teach me but i think he would still be nice abt it

Day 26: What is the best dream you have had of them?

not the Best but the FUNNIEST dream i had was once i had a dream that i had to do ANOTHER dance practical gcse but i was the only one who had to??? and on practical gcse days we’d get to miss lessons but for some reason i had to go to chemistry and like i was running to my locker to get my chem book and i see M in a classroom and he comes out of the room and in a really scary way was like “Why Aren’t You In Lesson” and i was like um i have a dance gcse sir sorry sir and he was like “This Is Not Okay You Must Go To Your Lesson Now” and i was like okay sir sorry sir

then i went to chemistry (late) and i get to the door and knock and my normal teacher is in there teaching but M answers the door and i was like so sorry i’m late sir and he was like “That Is Not Okay Go To Your Seat Now”

it was weird bcos even tho my teacher was teaching, M AND R were BOTH supervising the lesson???? and R was being super nice it was like M and R had swapped personalities, then when i sat down i went to my friend “omg i think M hates me 😰😰”

then later M was like why are you wearing that and i was like for my dance gcse sir and he was like Oh

then i woke up it was very weird

Day 27: What is the saddest/scariest dream you have had of them?

i think the dream above counts as the scariest one as well tbh

Day 28: Does your TC ever bring you up to other students/teachers that you know of?

not that i know of :(( but T does always say that our class is the best she's had in a long time so i like to think she has mentioned how good i am / how hard i try to other teachers

Day 29: Do you see them as being a romantic person? Are you?

i think M would be such a romantic, i cant see the others being super overly romantic but i bet M would be the one to be all lovey dovey and sappy and do romantic gestures n stuff <33

[translightyagami]

Lawlight (duh) for the ship thing Also, if you're into any of these - Drarry, Malec, Ichiruki, Sakunaru

uhhhh i only know drarry tbh but not well enough for a ship meme dlfajsda sorry. anyway here’s lawlight. 

who is more likely to hurt the other?

they both hurt each other on some level just bc they hv v combative personalities and also they r WATER SIGNS which means they r constantly in a fight over who is more valid. jokes on them tho: they r both unvalid as hell. light will center an entire week around getting back at L for something he did bc he’s basically amy dunne playing the long con all the time. L will hurt light in ways that last. he’ll just come out of nowhere with something like, “maybe it would be better if we hadn’t met” and light will just go quiet. that’s like, a sore spot L will push on if they argue bc he knows light is incredibly insecure abt his standing in L’s life. idk man. they love each other but there’s a lot of stuff they’re working thru and they’re leaving some scars along the way.

who is emotionally stronger?

hm. i think L is. he’s toughened up from all his experiences as the world’s greatest detective and had to deal w a lot more emotional crises than light. when it comes to big setbacks, he’s more likely to take them in stride whereas light is like that post that’s like “i’ll deal with it but you gotta let me be dramatic first.” before anything, he’s gotta scream in his scream jar then he can put those anxieties into the fridge and go back to figuring out his life.

who is physically stronger?

they hv abt the same physical strength. that’s less of a contest between them, altho light does sort of like it when L can lift him up. he’s done the same for L a couple times but its more fun to b carried than to b the carrier. anyway. if ur asking who wins more fights? then i would say that light wins a lot of their brawls bc he’s not afraid to play dirty. he has a sibling, he’s fought these battles many times before. its no rules just right in this house.

who is more likely to break a bone?

light has a lot of sports related injuries but not a lot of broken bones. meanwhile, mr. stays inside all day on my laptop has had three broken bones all from falling down the stairs or slipping on shit. just, like, hold on bc i’m picturing light and L sitting in the urgent care waiting room, both with broken arms bc of a roller skating accident. i don’t know how ppl break bones.

who knows best what to say to upset the other?

see this question and the first question r so close and so the answer is like both of them know each other well enough to hv their fingers poised over a particular emotionally destructive button at all times. i only say L is better at upsetting light bc he’s more willing to go the extra inch of underhandedness. of course, light nvr shows that he’s upset on the outside. no, he remains cool and calm, laughs it off probably, and then goes into the bathroom to hv a full scale meltdown in the dry bathtub. to b fair, that doesn’t happen often. its only during big, BIG arguments.

who is most likely to apologize first after an argument?

oh i don’t think either of them hv apologized once in their whole lives so it was a big step for them to apologize to each other. light caves first, trudging into L’s office with the most pathetic look on his face and being like “i’m sorry i called you a trash bag with arms.” and then L sort of sits there and has an inner conflict for a second before saying, “i’m sorry i told you looked like a kohl’s mannequin but not hot.”

who treats who’s wounds more often?

if their fights ever get too intense and someone gets hurt, its usually L knocking his head against something sharp and light has to like sit him on the toliet so he can fix him up. when he’s administering first aid, light starts to fuss over L and makes a lot of concerned noises.

“that hurts.” L squirms as light gives him stitches. “don’t pull too hard.”

“relax.” light says. “i’m actually quite good at this.”

(will i ever stop quoting that one line? no, i won’t.)

who is in constant need of comfort?

i don’t know abt comfort but light needs a lot of reassurance, both verbal and physical, that L does care abt him. he needs to b assured of his place in the world and in their relationship which L isn’t super great abt doing. but light is usually vocal abt when he needs comfort around L, whomst he rarely hides much of himself from, so its nvr a problem of L just not knowing. he just has no clue how to react.

there’s been a scarce few times when L has needed comfort after a taxing case but light is right there to just sort of, uhhh, hold him. let him make some horrible noises and talk. they try to b there for each other. its something they’re working on.

who gets more jealous?

oh for sure light. he gets flushed w jealousy anytime L shows a little more attention to someone else who could possibly usurp light’s romantic position in L’s life. its not fair. those ppl nvr worked as hard as he did to get L’s attention, to get his love. L thinks its kind of funny and will do shit to make light go green eyed. but that shit stops after they work with a french officer who gets a little too flirty w light and L just like, shuts that down. not so fun to b on the receiving end of that kind of jealousy.

who’s most likely to walk out on the other?

light. he’ll fucking do it at the drop of a hat too, just fucking walk out and not come back for three days. of course, they both think they can handle being separated so neither of them calls the other. but on the third day light’s trying to eat mcdonalds in his car and put a sausage mcmuffin in the hole L’s absence made so he goes to call him but his phone rings and it’s L on the other line like “please come back i forgot how quiet things r when ur not around also if ur at mcdonalds can u get me an apple pie okay thanks i love you.”

who will propose?

dklfsadlsfkj neither of them. they don’t want to get married tbh. i just literally can’t see them ever wanting to get married. if ur gonna put a gun to my head abt it tho, i would probably say light does but its only bc his mom started a campaign to get him to make an honest man out of L.

who has the most difficult parents?

um. i mean i guess light’s parents r more difficult. its not that they’re difficult tbh its more like they’re still adjusting to the life their son decided to lead bc its waaayyy different than what they thought was gonna happen. like first he’s gay (which isn’t a huge surprise to them like they’ve seen queer eye for the straight guy. they know things.) and then he’s dating some 24 yr old reclusive detective that happens to hv been soichiro’s boss for like a couple months and now light just sort of solves crimes w his boyfriend. so they’re being supportive but they’re also a little bit confused so sometimes it ends up in awkward situations where everyone’s at the dinner table and sachiko is like “so. what do your parents do, L?” and L is like “i don’t know who my parents were. i think they’re dead.” and she’s like, “oh. hm. well. that must b rlly rough for you.” meanwhile light is p much eating his napkin so he doesn’t start screaming at how little control he has over this shitty conversation.

who initiates hand-holding when they’re out in public?

they r rarely in public but uh. light does. he’s getting used to being out and part of him just rlly enjoys the physical evidence of their relationship that hand holding provides. that closet was so suffocating. it’s time to let those hands breath a little.

who comes up for the other all the time?

i still don’t entirely understand what this means entirely but i’ll take my best stab at it. i think L comes up for light a lot, esp if he’s talking to like the wammies or literally anyone who isn’t light himself or his family. like, p much everyone is like “but.....he’s kira???” and L is like “look. listen. i don’t know why but he’s. he’s rlly important to me. so its maybe better if we don’t shit talk the guy who sucks my dick? at least not rn.” he doesn’t do it v often bc usually the insults thrown toward light r well deserved but sometimes he does. light doesn’t come up for L like ever. he nvr talks to anyone abt L. whomst would he tell? yamamoto? secretly he goes on a couple message boards tho and send mean anon messages to ppl talking shit abt L but that’s as close as he gets.

who hogs the blankets?

L will b wrapped in a big old blanket bundle like that picture of homer simpson where he’s like “ah. i’m just a big cozy cinnamon bun.” light’s like curled up on his side of the bed w just the sheet but then L reaches over and drags him into the blanket bundle so they r both toasty cinnamon buns together.

who gets more sad?

L is more prone to bouts of depression and can get lethargic if something hits him the wrong way. the first few times it happened, light tried to shake it out of him but he’s learned since then that he’s just gotta ride this shit out. so for a few days or weeks, he’s just got a sad boyfriend so they watch a lot of netflix and don’t get a ton of work done.

light v rarely gets sad. he’s got a v positive outlook on life and doesn’t let a lot of stuff ruin his mood. but when he is sad, its like a big event and he’s crying in the dry tub in just his briefs and a sweatshirt while listening to sufjan on repeat. look. he’s just gotta get it out of his system and then he’ll b fine!

who is better at cheering the other up?

light is better at finding stuff to cheer L up. if L is in a funk, he’ll go search for a good case or an interesting lead so he can present it to him like a cat dropping a mouse in front of him. L is.....not so good at cheering light up. all he knows is how to piss him off. but after a while he starts to puzzle out that light flourishes under praise so he’ll try to keep telling him what a good job he’s doing.

who’s the one that playfully slaps the other all the time after they make silly jokes?

i said this in my mikami/light post but uh, light laughing is so uproarious that he just. whacks the person making him laugh on the back super hard. L doesn’t do anything the first time but the second time he grabs light by the wrist and is like “don’t. control ur self, u loud scream laughing monster.” light keeps his hands to himself when he laughs after that. he’s actually quite embarrassed of his natural laugh bc it is so obnoxious so he often tones it down but sometimes!!! shit’s just too funny!!!

who is more streetwise?

neither of these two know a god damn thing abt the streets. ok, L knows a little bit but he forgot it after building a giant fucking building for one investigation team of like six ppl.

who is more wise?

L knows more abt the world and has more experience than light does. he’s not quite wise?? but he’s definitely more knowledgeable and it smacks him in the face a lot how super young light is. how much he just doesn’t know. but L’s only in his mid twenties. what the fuck does he rlly know?

who’s the shyest?

mmm. they aren’t shy ppl by nature so i’d say neither of them. esp when they’re together. combining their levels of pure confidence is like putting a fire in a room with more fire; it just increases the amount of fire. as their relationship progresses, they get more assertive w each other and idk man. they just don’t do that shy shit.

who boasts about the other more? 

mmmm. i don’t think they brag abt each other a lot but i think light kind of wants to brag abt being w L. i mean, he didn’t think it would happen but then L did come and want to start something with him and its like?? wrow. but he doesn’t rlly hv anyone to brag to so he just sort of lets it sit like a smoldering piece of coal in his stomach, keeping him warm. L exculsively brags abt light during video conferences w the wammies like “MY PARTNER, WHO IS A GENIUS AND V ATTRACTIVE, AND I, WHO IS DATING THIS ATTRACTIVE GENIUS, HV FOUND A CLUE” and like everyone rolls their eyes like “dude u told us the same shit last week like please please please stop telling us abt ur hot boyfriend.”

who sits on who’s lap?

light!!! sits!!! on L’s lap!!!! all the time!!! he curls up in there like a cat and plays w L’s hair.

“am i making it hard to do ur work?” he asks, fingers scratching on L’s scalp.

“yes. but that’s okay. light shouldn’t move.”

so he doesn’t and just falls asleep there, hand on the back of L’s neck and drooling on his shoulder. its cute in like an ugly way.

[victonz]

can you do a post where you ship garbage101 and other mutuals with wanna one members with description sry that u got hate i hope this lightens up the mood

hello cute anon dghshqi garbage 101 has like 25 ppl and like I have like 20 other mutuals so I’ll so about 30 pplish and make a description so this is gonna be a real long post but ily so imma power through for him (lai Guanlin)

guanlin: (gotta start w my soft boy whom I love so much) 

@l-guanlin bc she says she doesn’t fuck w boys younger than her but guanlin is cute and he’s a year younger so its good (side note: she hangs w him on the week days and on weekends I take him out for ice cream its a balance) choke u better be glad I didnt put u with a donkey

@ongeuigeon Laura probs wants Daniel but Ive GOT NEWS FOR U HONEY sijdhi2e anyway ur sorta soft but sometimes u knock me out with things u say so in a way ur guanlin so wow a match!

@laiguanlin a soft blog that I love and hdjxhdjhwsh Imma ship u with him even (it doesn’t have to be romantically) bc ur both cute !!

woojin:

 ok listen but @darkpastwoojin aka visual queen gee really loves her boy and how can I deny her that !! so I def ship them wow a good looking pairing I’m 4D nutting !! fce jinhwi is shaking rn bc u and woojin are on the come up nugus can’t relate

 also @woojinnies um we don’t talk as much as I would like but ily and woojin loves u and ur so sweet so like I just feel like you’ll balance him out so good if that makes sense !! I love a match made in heaven tbh wjdhsiwje (side note: when will we ever pm tbh)

@p-arkwoojin jem the fake stan who can’t recognize whose who during their lives (jk ily!!) but she’ll always recognize woojin no matter what so um!! gotta put her w her boy!! 

jihoon:

@parkji-hoons naia a soft cutie that deserves the world and jihoon would def give it to her like !!1! I love cute bbys that deserve the stars! :’)

@jwihoon another pure soft that I love !! like :((( wtf jelly when u speak, I picture it so soft I hope ur doing well and tell Jihoon hi for me!!

@seonnho matching u with jihoon bc u spoke last night and u had me screaming sometimes so I really think thats how it is w jihoon bc u think he’s soft but then he surprises u in one hit ijhxweodh

daehwi:

@j7sung all I know u probs want jisung bUT listen u and daehwi? soft words r literally angelic I can not! really so pure u and him could do no wrong ok y'all deserve happiness also ily and sorry for being gross sometimes ally ;;

@kangdan101 Sarah another pure soft that deserves to be shipped w someone as equally as pure and soft :( like cute bbys must stick together so daehwi it is! stay soft! I also love u and I’m also sorry for being a nastie ;;

@wannaoneioi ur so sweet and cute and I just met u but ur truly so sweet omg :(( like u don’t deserve the hate u get bc ur seriously the cutest lemon squeeze I’m sorry I’m bad @ replying ur the best though!

Daniel:

@kangniel ren would probs rip my dick off if I didnt ship her Daniel but like??? ren is really cute about her love for Daniel like :// also anon u didnt hear it from me but ren is a Dom for Daniel and she asked him to neigh for her and pour milk on himself so she’s gross jot that down

@kngniel yeah she def going w this boy cause like :// um??? sana says some shit that makes me do double takes and sana h8s when I roast Daniel but she supports him through it all so !! really can’t fight her on her loyalty to him even if he said Harry poTE ://

Ong

@kimjaehwanswife I was gonna ship Lucy w jaehwan but xshxehsd ong is also extra and like I bet if we told Lucy she isn’t funny she’ll throw a fit like ong, bc they’re both great sources for laughter like validate these kids always 2kforever! (and me tbh)

@panwink nina is so cute and soft and I just adore Nina!! like :((( I want one to make her laugh all the time bc she’s so precious I know Nina is older than me but still I want her to be happy

@idaehwi Amy, my soulmate I bet u thought u were gonna be shipped w daehwi? wrong ! u and ong? probs discuss furry kinks on ur free time and watch furry p0rn :// jk but u and ong? Iconic ! y'all living in 2025 (ily)

Jaehwan:

@kimsjaehwan Macy pls ur my true soilmate u and I have the same interests and everything :// so I guess ill share u with jaehwan!! like :/// I’m jealous or whatever but ily and he better treat u like perfect or else *knife emojis*

Minhyun

@minhwangs Sarah def has to be w minhyun like u can’t have one without putting the other u feel me!!! I love Sarah and I know minhyun would treat her right always so thats a big plus!! another one of my fce tbh no lie love them!

@minsbugi ok yeah this pairing? soft pure cute nice sweet and everything in between ! I love kenia like she comes in every full moon but I love her presences and I also love minhyun so soft nut!

@lovebugi ok so this is an odd pairing BUT listen to me Jay, u and minhyun?? probably that one couple after hs that got together that shocked everyone like its possible bc um #1 I don’t think he’s mr vanilla at all and ur def not mrs, vanilla so um the freaky is in the cooking ;)

Jisung:

@memelordjisung so I was gonna put Erin w someone else but then I thought to myself, nvm know one calls him daddy better than she does like :/// he really is papi chulo and Erin makes sure everyone knows that he is so she’s his #1 supporter !!

@yjjisung another gc member that comes every full moon but its ok be we love and appreciate !! and iwdhcihd I love ur love for jisung, I must take notes truly !! ur an amazing person just like him!

Sungwoon:

@hasungswoon listen,,,, u thinking he’s a dom? try again! like sheila idk whether u r or not but this is a one way street w u guys, Sheila is the Dom in their relationship and subwoon loves it tbh, kinky I love a good adjusted couple tbh!! (side note; sungwoon sends her nudes w lingere)

@nohtaehyun ok so I love sungwoon a lot and he’s precious and like I feel the same way about Tay? like she’s precious pls!! so its only natural that I put two cuties together

Baejin: (I also forgot him omfg shoot me)

@rosybaejin UM!!! big soft nut here bc I love abia but abia loves baejin more so thats ok bc I approve ! like baejin stans? hardly heard of any abia is the #1 in the baejin cult tbh !! she loves her boy and she’s truly so soft for him :(( Ily abia

@baejinsgf bc she seems really cute and soft for him !! :( it’s really so sweet like I need to step up my game, but truly the purest!! 

Donghyun:

@dxnghyuns oh ngan, how I love u,,,, like hdiwjdhdjhs ok what to say but ngan is the only donghyun Stan I know and like really no one can compete she’s so soft literally she turns the uglie gc soft and :(( her love for donghyun is admirable

[thedegenerateasexual]

top 10 teen wolf episodes as rated by me i guess

IN the order from most to least favorite, and i did not include any 6B ones because it isn’t fair for me to use those when the season isn’t finished yet. (EDIT: season is now finished and while none of the 6B episodes made the ranking i did adjust the honorable mentions accordingly.) this is long & i had fun making it

3.19 Letharia Vulpina: ok ok so just like Everyone Knew I Would i did pick this one because of all the prime derek/chris material—that all-important moment where they had their claws and gun trained on each other, being handcuffed to a bench together, derek saving chris’s life despite insisting he wasn’t gonna—BUT there’s literally not a single second of this episode i don’t love. we open with deaton being a total badass and scaring the shit out of some yakuza dudes, then KIRA gets to be a badass, and then there’s a small scott/allison/isaac moment when he’s all laid up (which was my ot3 for a little while in 3A…don’t judge), allison gets to threaten peter with a stun baton on her girlfriend lydia’s behalf, and that doesn’t even BEGIN to get into the absolute delight it is to watch everyone running around trying to deal with all the chaos the notgitsune is causing (we even got to see coach get shot, which was actually pretty funny??). between all of that and the plot twist at the end (that we all saw coming…but hey) that it was really the nogitsune pretending to be stiles all along (and the very…gay…thing going on with him and scott), it’s literally like, the perfect episode. there was even a rain battle at the end i fucking love rainy scenes. PEAK television.

4.12 Smoke & Mirrors: my two favorite characters on the dumb werewolf show are derek hale & scott mccall and this episode is like a great big flashing sign that says “LOOK AT HOW AWESOME DEREK IS AND LOOK AT HOW AWESOME SCOTT IS!!!” because scott finally gets to KICK PETER’S ASS and comes back from something he shouldn’t be able to come back from because he’s SCOTT MCCALL, TRUE ALPHA, and how can we forget my son derek finally achieving the full shift and giving that big old “FUCK YOU” to kate argent. if that wasn’t enough, my third favorite character chris argent gets the second-closest he’s ever come to weeping in this entire series when confronting the sister he can’t kill at the end. also kate is in this episode and she’s the best villain i love her presence onscreen. also peak television.

1.12 Code-Breaker: i love s1 SO FUCKING MUCH bc it was so tightly plotted - it’s like back to the future and holes, it’s one of those things where every line serves a purpose and there’s no spare bits, and tw’s plot becomes such a mess later that it’s honestly really amazing. so code breaker is my favorite one because all the plot stuff comes together really well, and it’s just like well-done overall, there’s that sick backwards shot of allison, chris’s Angst when he realizes his sister is a serial killer, scott trying Really Really Hard and derek being Really Really Done (why don’t they have more scenes together…), stiles and peter cracking me up with the laptop password gag, like…there’s literally no part of this ep that isn’t a delight (also again kate is in it i love kate as a villain). it’s wonderful 10/10

3.14 More Bad Than Good: i had a real hard time with this one vs. the one immediately before it, the first one of 3B, but i love both bc i love watching scott stiles and allison absolutely losing their shit. in the end i like this one better bc 1. you get to watch them beat it and 2. they finally find and rescue malia and i FUCKING LOVE malia, my own daughter, also the scene where she reunites with her dad makes me misty every time. bonus content: watching araya hack off peter’s finger :D :D :D AND this is the first time derek gets to make heart-eyes at braeden. i’m so happy whenever he’s happy!!! 

6.05 Radio Silence: this episode is everything i love about 6A all wrapped up in a nice neat lil package. i love 6A bc it totally fucking surprised me by making me like things i did not think i’d like, the biggest being stiles/lydia. and like…this season fuckin SOLD me on it, the way she fights tooth and nail to get him back and the way he’s so patiently waited for her reminds me 2much of claire & ben from @cambionverse and the beginning of me being sold was this ep, when they had the wall between them, and when they finally talked on the radio. and this episode even made peter hale interesting for 30 entire seconds which i thought was impossible—it was cool that he did One Genuinely Selfless Thing by going through the portal to save malia, and later when malia and scott had to take his pain to get at stiles’ keys you could almost imagine for a second he got to pretend someone actually DID care about him, that’s his reward for doing a single selfless thing. it was also stellar to see stiles (and the jeep!!!) again and see him working the problem from the other side it was like getting real sam back after half a season of soulless sam in spn s6 DO NOT call me out for referencing this show

4.05 I.E.D.: go look at these gifsets and read the tags. now come back. …okay okay aside from, That, which i won’t repeat as to avoid two paragraphs of capslock, derek also smiles in this episode. even scott is alarmed by it. HE’S HAPPY i’m happy he’s happy!!!!! i’m happy he loves scott!! i’m happy he spends half the episode trading long lingering looks with his future boyfriend!!!! but if that wasn’t enough this episode KEEPS ON GIVING because at the very end the calaveras show up and bully chris into saying the original code, and forgetting his daughter’s, which is deeply relevant to all my headcanons about the code lowkey being like indoctrination (watch that shit again it’s fucking wild…), and also it’s one of the only times in the series where he looks genuinely freaked out and i love watching his Turmoil™

6.10 Riders on the Storm: this is also everything i love about 6A in one ep, just like, less concentrated, bc there’s also the nazi werewolf (tho even PETER HALE getting judgy @ the nazi was truly a highlight). its got all the Big Damn Reunions, its got STYDIA, its got peter actually being slightly interesting, its got scott mccall: badass. its actually also got lydia martin: badass, which like…About Damn Time. it’s even got chris argent: badass, and it’s also got chris argent: badass smooching on a beautiful lady w/ his hands in her hair!!!! (her: that was so hot! me: GIRL ME TOO) also they thought this was the last stiles ep ever so his goodbyes to everyone were like really sweet & made me emo af

3.22 De-Void: so obviously i love this one because derek’s line when he was under thrall about “you’re NOT my ally you’re a HUNTER” got me into the dumb rarepair i wrote like 60k for so far but also i do genuinely deeply love the sequence where they exorcise the notgitsune from inside stiles’ head—lydia facing her fears in the ruined prom dress is such amazing imagery + im gay for the scott/stiles reunion. bonus content includes chris & allison interaction which breaks my heart (he’s so proud of her!!) and the tense kickass scene in the loft in the opening where the notgitsune (SCARY MOTHERFUCKER) is trying to goad chris into shooting it. i don’t love ALL of this ep bc it has so much thumb twins (& from here down there are no more perfect ones…sad) but i love MOST of it and the parts i do love are fantastic. so. i’ll deal w/ thumb twins

3.06 Motel California: look i know this episode should disturb the fuck out of me bc 1. derek and jennifer bang & in my eyes that isn’t a consensual encounter and 2. all the creepy ass suicides but like…honestly there is something so soothing about motels to me, i’ll put this one on to just chill out anyday. like it is delightfully creepy and i love all the meat to everyone getting hit with their baggage (uh…except the thumb twins), but mostly it’s the #mood i love. i actually even like the derek scenes before the sex starts because he is So Wounded and So Sad (“everyone around me gets hurt” BYE) and they rarely let him actually emote at all so it’s very refreshing

2.03 Ice Pick: this was like…such a perfect & amazing introduction to the new betas like if the new ppl in s4 and beyond had gotten this kind of good introduction (and hadn’t been killed off so quickly…) i would love them about 10x more. it’s got that nice s2 vibe that most ppl are into and i still love erica & boyd w/ all my heart!!! (DONT really love how creepy derek was w/ erica but we’ll blame it on being the alpha.) i also love how fucked up the scene with allison tied to the chair was & the fucking fight between derek’s pack and scott at the end…like scott gets to win a 2-on-1 fight and then derek gets to be mr. cool alpha dude and kick his ass. i LOVE THOSE FIGHT SCENES and bc of this episode “iron” is my derek theme song. so.

HONORABLE MENTIONS aka these were on the original list but didn’t make the cut:

1.11 Formality (aaalllll of derek’s ugly backstory this was when i knew i loved him)

2.10 Fury (the first ep i ever watched live, will always be fond of it for that reason even tho i don’t give 2 shits about matt)

2.11 Battlefield (the theme of doing things bc of the power of love will always get me, it was also the only teen wolf episode i ever made gifs of, back when i knew how to make gifs)

3.12 Lunar Ellipse (for scott becoming a true alpha for REAL + derek’s big ol’ well-deserved fuck-you to jennifer, i didn’t love 3A but this was such prime derek & scott material)

3.13 Anchors (like i said: watching stiles, scott, and allison all COMPLETELY lose their shit, also did you know the anchor allison chose in this ep ws her new code? Interesting)

3.24 The Divine Move (listen...you can laugh at the cheesy sfx ALL you want but when i watched kate argent come back from the dead to menace derek hale like his own worst nightmare come to life LIVE with mine own two eyes i jumped out of my seat and YELLED like everything about that moment was absolutely PERFECT and very few things are ever gonna top it)

4.08 Time of Death (derek learning to use a gun and then getting it on with braeden…bye)

4.11 A Promise to the Dead (not only chris unsticking himself from the wall for allison and scott’s sake but also derek and braeden walking around his loft half-naked in the rain...nice)

5.05 A Novel Approach (the stiles and donovan altercation…the first 15m where he acts with his face without saying a word…enough said)

5.18 The Maid of Gévaudan (i'm bitter about the flashback because i want ALLISON but it was a nice origin story + scott fighting the beast all on his own to save that library full of kids was one of the only truly amazing moments of 5B)

6.08 Blitzkrieg (the sheriff rebuilding stiles’ room and saying goodbye to claudia makes me really for real cry but there’s so much nazi bullshit that i couldn’t justify having the episode as a whole being one of my favs)

6.13 After Images (chris argent absolutely losing his shit the entire ep, fucking love it)

6.19 Broken Glass (derek hale's comeback and he got to spend all of his screentime with chris argent! i seriously considered poking this into the #10 spot but ultimately the sideplot i hated with malia and scott had so much more screentime i can't use it - i can't list an episode i'm always skipping parts of!)

[could-i-be-any-cooler-blog]

A story written from a Tumblr Perspective

Before anyone reads this I would like to point out this story might feel exaggerated or cheesy or just plain stupid, well it was intended, keep that in mind. Thank you. A story written from a Tumblr perspective. U know this trip could have ended differently, it's too late tho, you see I'm falling off a cliff right now because of a rare desease I like to call the IDDLT, short for imaginative death due to loss of tumblr, don't believe me? Well there was this chicken, it could fly and it told me that I was... whatsup with da crazy face? Oh... yes I should probably start from the beginning, it all began with two words and an exclamation mark. No wifi!? Yes honey for the millionth time the secluded valley we are going to will not have wifi! But, but, DAD! Don't worry dear, think of it as a way to open ur mind... to calm ur soul and shakra... ahh don't u just feel it honey, u spend too much time on that Facebook app of yours anyways. MOM!! How dare u insult my tumblr like that!! It's not Facebook!! Oh u kids with ur apps these days, they're both blue? What's the difference!? At this point I just went full silent treatment teenager sulking mode, I wasn't going to talk to anyone, breath for anyone, not even think of anyone except of my precios tumblr. Only I didn't know what kinda seclusion was in store for me... dan dan dan daaaan 5 hours later *spongebob narritve voice Ah so secluded not even the car could come with. It's true, my dad seemed very ok with this, we had to leave the car behind, and then had to walk for an hour, like what's up with that? Nature and walking *shudder. Oh honey this is amazing, it's so yoga! Wait hold up, let's take a minute to just breathe and think about this... inhale* exhale* now the question is, is yoga an adjective!? Society these days. Anything for u sweetie! Now I will spare u detail of what took place in the next 1/2 a second for two reasons 1. No human should have to endure that 2. Because I looked away, but from the sound I heard it was a kiss, a freaking kiss! I know right talk about public indecency. U may be wondering much commentary many wow, but only like this will u understand where I stand... *snicker* did u see dat *snicker* i used stand twice... yea it wasn't that funny... moving on! What my mom had so wonderfully described as yoga, was a small eco house and a chicken coop in the middle of an Alaskan valley, the things ppl build... And I thought to myself... What a shitty wooooorld... Thank you, thank you! Performance by the one and only Chloe garcia, bob on Tumblr for all you Tumblr boys and girls out there, no straight white males tho!! U may be thinking, how the hell did I, wonderful smart bisexual 1/16 Asian girl I, get a tumblr handle like bob, it's so unoriginal it's amazing, let me tell you how. I fought a guy for it, his name was bob... Muahahahaha I do what I do. ;) ... ... I think my minds deteriorating. Like literally. I think I might die. Oooooh I might ride a helicopter to the E.R. Dude! What if, In the middle of the ride, I'd just jump out! I'd be the girl that didn't want to be saved! So poetic, such tumble worthy, many wow. That'd be a good way to go *sighs dreamily*. Wow... I never cease to amaze myself, other people must think I'm the bomb!! Like who wouldnt think th- Chloe!!! Sweetie can you hear me?!?!?! Gosh mom! Are you trying to make me deaf!?!? Well I've been trying to get your attention for the last few minutes. ... Anyways, me and your dad are going to be occupying the house for a lit- HOLD UP! Im getting some weird vibes, Alright so she is smirking at him, and he's got her in an embrace... and they want me out of the house... ... ... ... FUCK this SHIT IM OUT! -tle so we would appreciate if you would explore som- I get it, I get it! you guys should be ashamed u know. Making your daughter come all the way down here just so she has too try and avoid *shuddering with no end* u guys *again shuddering* having *chocking* *cough*. We're only human Chloe. One day you'll understand dear. No! I will never understand! Sex in no way will ever be understandable! I'll be in the chicken coop far far away from you disgusting creatures! *cue the aggressive stomping/ walking to said stinky chicken coop and the agrresive door closing of stinky chicken coop cause I'm a teenager and I'm pissed and I'm allowed to show it* Thud. Boom. Her majesty the queen, are you alright? Whaaaaaaaaa *groan* You hit your head on the way in your highness. And with that the big chicken warrior did a curtsy. So cute. And then the nerdy chicken in the back told me it was the engineers fault completely, he had forgotten to adjust the door size to your highness stature, then proceeded to offer me his deepest apologies and beg that he not become fried chicken. I like fried chicken. Fried chicken is good. I can't have fried chicken. I'm vegan. ... ... ... HOLD UP! (Wow that's the second one today, my life's turning to shit) I stood up so quickly, I almost passed out again, and I may or may not have fallen back down, but not before I made my point! Are you guys chickens or aliens? Your highness, said the cute little nerd chicken with a slight chuckle, we are definitely chickens. But but, ur speaking? Like English? For that there is only one explanation your highness. The Internet. Now let me describe to you the reaction I had too these words 2 words. HALE FUCKING LUJAH! YOU GUYS ARE DA BEST! what's da password tho. Your highness, it's your highness's name. we had it changed as soon as you arrived. C with caps I presume Yes your highness. Kk What's the deal with that btw? With what your highness? With the whole your highness thing and queen stuff, like what's up with that? let me tell you about the prophecy the person that brought us here told us, and with this he came closer and told me the whole story. A long long time ago our king and a few others we're brought here to live and thrive,they were given a computer and wifi and with that they learned. A few weeks later our carrier came back surprised that we had already learned how to speak and write, so he left us a set of instructions to keep us safe from the world that would never understand us, and they were. never to leave the chicken coop so we built underground , respect our fellow chicken, and not everything on the internet is good. And one very very important one. If a girl of my kind ever comes, treat her as if she was queen, for she, surely is. Wow. Cheesy much? That is how your lordship instructed and that is we have followed through. Over the years we have prepared for your arrival and have built and created technologies unknown to man, and all of it, was for you. Again wow. Cheesy much? You are set to receive the highest honor in our community, the purple egg with golden stripes. Cool beans. So where is this egg? In one hour there will be a ceremony in your honor, where you will receive said egg, your highness. Niiice Ever heard of Tumblr? Yes, your highness, it is a despicable addictive opinionated app isn't it, your highness. We have told our young kings to stay away, for it changes oneself. ... *eye twitching* Ok, no, this isn't so. There's a good side to Tumblr. With fear the little chicken trembled and admitted there was certainly a good side too it. Good good. I wish for the ceremony too begin now. I have a point too make. Of course your majesty. Thank you. ... ... ... *a few minutes later* *Trumpets and whatnot* *chicken cheers* Settle down, settle down. We are gathered here today to do what we were raised for, to give our lovely Chloe her rightful place, the royalty egg. Please take this as the key to our efforts and fruits. Thank you, king KFC. By taking the egg, it melted in my hands and made purple feathers and gold flakes show up on my skin. And ultimately I was a chicken. Thank you for receiving this gift Chloe. WTF! U made me a chicken! Dude! Why! There's no bigger honor than being a chicken?!?! What's wrong with you!?!? And with this the whole chicken folk went into distress and started clucking and exploding into fried chicken, I seem to have upset them, pretty soon they were all dead and I was eating chicken, real good, great meat this folk had, I then realized I was a cannibal since technically I was a chicken. After I ate I somehow flapped my wings and started to fly, which was quite cool I guess that's the honor they were talking about, sadly they couldn't see it. Oops. Oh well and then I hit the ceiling. Boom. Thud. Chloe are you ok!?!? My mom screamed at me with blood in her hands, a bit exaggerated in my opinion but oh well, I realized then I was actually quite hurt, back in the chicken coop, and not a chicken. Cool is all I could think. I can't really remember what happened next, but I think I was on the way to the hospital in a helicopter and I remember thinking, i predicted this shit all da way!! I also remembered the other part, the suicidal the sad part of me remembered what I was going to do if this happened, to be honest, I'm quite relieved. So I did it. So on my way down I thought I'd tell you all of this, and explain my desease, we all know it was an excuse. An excuse for not wanting to hear the world anymore or to see it, Tumblr really did ruin it for me. Thank you.

[rnaryjune]

alright let’s get a little more in-depth here and sort out who to root for. working backwards this time.

Raven: likes frankie grande. PASS. like the idea that she’s not afraid to make big moves, but lbh that doesn’t mean squat unless and until she actually goes through with it. the all female ghost hunting team thing is cool though it better come up in the show i demand to know about this.

Ramses: superfan, loves dan (which...okay i never actually saw dan’s season i really only know him from the coaches twist and even then i didn’t really pay attention to him? but anyway i know from the fandom that this is a good sign), he wants to do that SUPER SMART DANIELLE THING of having a person on the other side of the house and keeping track of it that way. that being said, his strategy is a little...TOO thought-out. with a game like big brother you have to be ready to make adjustments and think on your feet, and i’m not sure he’ll be able to do that if necessary. HEY HE IS the obligatory gay man...and a gay man of color at that. which....okay let’s be honest, big brother does not have the best track record when it comes to games of gmoc (Marcellas, Lawon, JOZEA, among others). buuuuuuuut....i’m willing to stick my neck out once more. KEEP.

Megan: eugh she likes frank victor and paul which like...okay tbf i kinda understand from a game perspective because they did pull some interesting moves (and ngl paul’s gameplay was always a bit like how i imagine i would play). but i think she likes them as ppl too which...no. also she says she doesn’t wanna be like vanessa???? THE SIRENS GOING OFF AT THAT STATEMENT. she ain’t gonna last. PASS. oh my god and then later in her bio “ At the same time, there is always that whiny, crying girl that just can't handle the pressures of the house. I would make her my friend and my secret ally. This is the only person in the house I will be loyal to. I'll take her to Final 2 and, since she didn't do anything the whole time, I'll win.” like girl....that’s gonna be you lmao. also she wants to buddy up with a gym-partner guy? can we say obvious showmancer? look if she can back it up with some comp wins then maybe she could pull a rachel but i just don’t see that happening. she literally says she’s gonna play scared which like...yea you’re never for sure safe in the bb house but she is literally gonna go down the vanessa path.

Matthew: HE LIKES DONNY. HE IS IN MY GOOD GRACES. he wants to align with the women too??? tentative KEEP because the fact that he says donny is a good person makes me want to trust that he, too, is a good person. but i’ve been burned before, and besides, as great as it would be to see a mainly female alliance with one guy, so far the girls aren’t impressing me much, so i don’t have high hopes for that.

Mark: you know it makes sense he likes brendon. so yea, definite showmance material. possibly with megan too actually. honestly not impressed. PASS.

Kevin: he doesn’t even have a favorite player he just “met derrick once” lol man u are DEFINITELY not gonna win. unless he can adapt quickly which...is unlikely. “I was Mr. Massachusetts and also won a hunk contest” okay buddy. also he’s all like “being myself will probably work everytime” dude if u don’t win that first hoh u are easy target number one. PASS. probably nice but will not win. no chance in hell. unless something MAJOR happens.

Josh: like evel dick so....look, i’ll be honest, i was very young when season 8 was on so like...idr all the stuff that dick pulled, i mostly know from posts in the fandom. but at the time, i was a huge fan of him, and was thrilled he won. and i mean, he did at least have some gameplay, unlike other despicable ppl in later seasons (*cough* andy). so i mean from a gameplay standpoint, i can see why someone would want to emulate dick’s game. however, i think it would require stealthier manipulation than josh thinks. and the fact that he didn’t need to be on anybody’s good side? nice thought and all, but if he didn’t have danielle and her alliances, he would have never made it as far as he did. you HAVE to have someone in your corner, even just one person. josh underestimates the power of alliance and is probably gonna end up being like a paulie. eugh. PASS. sidenote: dude wants to bring his mom in the house not because he would miss her but so she would cook and clean for him???? LOL FUCK THIS GUY i hate him already. his fun facts aren’t even fun facts they’re just personality traits lmao

Jillian: worried about saying the wrong thing? could be a bad sign or just innocent. i am intrigued by her answers though, so a tentative KEEP.

Jessica: janelle/natalie hybrid? could be interesting and if she says she sees herself in janelle that’s VERY promising. less promising is that she wants to align with a guy. could very easily get sidetracked by showmance. hopeful though, so tentative KEEP.

Jason: oh god almost forgot anbout hfajlfhghfskh RODEO CLWON JfHASFJFlshAL. ahem. he likes James which...tbh i liked him too. look if he’s good enough for natalie then he’s decent enough for me. anyway, i fricking love jason’s answer about his strategy: “yes” that’s it that’s all he says I LOVE IT. also he has a bull??? WE BETTER SEE IT IN THE SHOW. i don’t expect him to win but he seems an interesting person so....KEEP. for now.

Elena: likes james and thinks the strategy is situational aKA THE TRUTH. seems like she might actually be able to play the game???? which seems unheard of nowadays. can’t get a real idea of her character but for gameplay i’ll go with a KEEP for now.

Dominique: “nor do i shy away from controversy” is again something that could go either way and instantly makes me cautious. but let’s look at gameplay. she says she’ll take mental notes of everyone and be observant, and she can read ppl really well, so i want to think she’ll do well. but her indecision over a fave past houseguest is something that makes me take pause as well. screw it, KEEP for now. i’m curious to see what she can do.

Cody: seems smart and obviously physically capable....BUT something in his answers rubs me the wrong way. his reasoning for picking evel dick is something i can agree with, but his strategy is, once again, too airtight. where is the wiggle room? look it’s true the basic building blocks of big brother are generally the same every season but you never know what could get changed. also he’s all like “i’ve never taken a selfie” you’ve never taken a picture of yourself? ever? that seems unlikely but it’s whatever aside from assumed pretentiousness. HOWEVER the real big flag is “i have never been offended not once” buddy that is a DAMNED lie and i caNNOT WAIT until he gets pissy about something in the house and the fandom calls him out on it lmao oh anyway PASS.

Christmas: oh  my god she chose HELEN. HELEN OF ALL PEOPLE. THIS IS A GOOD SIGN. idk man i’m very hopeful about this one the fave houseguest is a good sign and i want to like christmas for it....also because her picture is gorgeous but like. she chose HELEN. like im sorry but i feel like most ppl wouldn’t even think of helen. maybe christmas can align with that guy who likes donny??? YES I LIKE THIS. anyway KEEP.

Cameron: well of COURSE his fave is ian like how damn predictable can u be. also he just reminded me of ginamarie and the fact that she won an hoh at some point (how???). that being said, the fact that he’d just tell people that someone is going after them?? bad plan. unless there’s ANY truth to it, but if he pulls it out of his ass he’s going to end up imploding his own game. PASS, not just for meh gameplay but also because he bores me. (seriously i’m so tired of ian clones none of them have been anywhere near as good or interesting why are we still doing this)

Alex: “i can manipulate anyone, including boys” aka she will probably start a showmance. idk with who and tbh idc. her fun facts are actual, legitimate fun facts, and she seems nice, but i don’t get good gameplay vibes. PASS, but i hope she surprises me.

[100percentdirtball]

the delightful @possumpossumpossum asked me th’other day about my time at camp, and i just started writing to her, and in the end i’d written a fuckin’ novel, and i know some other folks have been curious, so... here’s this thing.

content mentions: csa, drug abuse, suicide, a whole lot of love

the camp is called camp grounded and there are eight rules: no digital technology of any kind; no telling time equipment or using time; no talking about work, including what it is that you do; no age talk, age doesn't matter; no drugs or alcohol, cigarettes are ok but only in like one little zone; no glow sticks or blinky lights; explicit consent is needed for any kind of physical contact; leave your name behind, use a new name of your choice until the closing ceremony. there were like 350ish ppl there, at this camp in the middle of fuckin nowhere in the redwoods.

it's been a really really huge part of my mom's life, and she billed it like it was going to be this whole big transformative thing for literally anyone, and i thought it sounded a little goofy, my attitude basically was like-- it'll be dope to not have to answer phone calls and see some trees for a couple days. right away tho like right away, it's just... well, once ppl start showing up, you get together with your village. everyone is in a particular village of 20-30 ppl, a little subgroup, if it's a tent village everyone pitches their tents in the same zone, cabin villages are all in the same cabins. i was in jackrabbit which was a tent village and so camp starts with a getting together with your new village and doing some like, silly icebreaker games but also like... pair off randomly by a silly method and make eye contact with your new partner and just like, get intimate for a minute. we talked about how we picked our camp names, what we wanted to get out of the weekend, and... idk, already i just was feeling really good about these ppl

on the bus ride up i was sitting with splash and sunshine who were from philly and we bonded a little bc i'd been there ever, and princess proton and lulu who knew each other from previous camps and this guy pickles was sitting next to me who was kind of a weird dude from colorado and it was his first camp also and after we talked a little it turned out he had gone to a rehab thing in this part of the country so we bonded over bein sober buds

the first jackrabbity ppeople i met were bee bee sting who gave me this AMAZING nametag thing to replace my very bad nametag and the counselor ladybug who like is basically a perfect human??? one of the things we did in the group thing was go over the rules, and talk about why those rules are the rules, and about setting a like intention, a what we hope ot get out of the weekend, and by this time i had been with camp folx for like six hours so i was starting to Feel It&tm and i said my intention was that like

what i do in my life is say no. and saying yes to everything is a ridiculous goal, but my intention was to say no deliberately instead of reflexively, to see if maybe there was a yes hidden in the no.

THIS WILL BE RELEVANT LATER

like, that's the thruline, like i am going to tell you more about camp, but... there were only like two or three times the whole weekend where someone offered connection or activity or whatever and i said no, and it wasn't actually even because of my resolution most of the time?? i said yes bc i felt safe and loved and accepted the whole time, the whole whole time.

like, i don't know that i can describe what it's like to be in a place where at any time, with any person, even a stranger you're passing on one of the trails, you make eye contact and you smile and you say hi and it's a real actual connection, even if it's just for a moment, it's a real being acknowledged as another human spirit, nothing rote or formality about it

it was so easy!@!!! i don't talk to people, like i don't do that, but i was standing in line to get breakfast and the guy in front of me was looking a little like he didn't have anyone to talk to and i didn't so i was just like, hey what's up? it was the last day of camp and i just asked him like, what's one thing you're going to take home with you? and we had like 20m of conversation, and we got into some real deep stuff. and it felt as easy as breathing. his name was sparkle.

i feel like i'm skipping from one place to the other, like there isn't a cohesive narrative here, and that's something i'm always wanted about, but i just don't know how to describe it, i don't know how to show you what it felt like so i just keep pulling little trinkets out of my bag and putting them next to the growing pile and hope if i pull out enough the shape will make sense

there was a talent show, and i think it speaks volumes about how open and inviting the community is that out of like 350 ppl 55 people signed up for the talent show, including a lot of ppl who had literally never been on a stage before. there were people who were, speaking from a critical standpoint, not super good at the thing they were doing, and also legit professional performers, and the crowd!!! responded in exactly the same way for each extreme!!!! and it didnt' feel forced at all

i found out after camp was being broken down that the talent show started at 9 pm, and went 'til almost 3am. it moved from one stage to a smaller stage, and i was like third from last, and still there were thirty or so people in the audience. i closed the stage out, i wanted to be there to the end. at first i was upset about going on so late but it was so perfect, the audience was in just the right place to receive me and i was in just the right place to tell a bummer fuckin story about my shitty granddad. two spots before me a woman named fulfilled got on stage and worked her way slowly and faltering through the story of forgiving her brother for molesting her and her family for covering it up, then a guy named happy feet who did a dance and stream of consciousness about, i don't know, maybe taking too much ecstasy and just wanting to stay high forever, and then me, and then an opera singer, and sprinkle lifestyle talking about his ex-best friend blaming him for her husband’s death, and then a man named rabbi doing a guided meditation about finding your perfect self and becoming it

i cried so much, i already cry a lot but i cried so much, and i cried in front of other people, and i didn't wipe my tears i just let them fall and let myself be red and smeary and blurry and people joined me

at the 90's themed dance they played a song one of my old friends who committed suicide used to play, and bee bee walked me away from camp and just held me and then took me to the typewriter village and i wrote him a letter and then i went back into the place and danced to nirvana

there was a tea spot, a yurt where there were tea tastings and people ended up falling over each other, and i met a woman named scoby and she said "can i put my head on your shoulder" and we watched scarecrow, real name john craigie, and then the set ended and we started walking and she curled her arm around mine and we took the long way and i said, "our eyes will adjust, thank god for the moon" and we sang rent and talked about how we ended up in kind of the same place but by different routes, how she was poly and working on not falling in love so easily, and how i was just starting to allow myself to want intimacy again, and we slept together in her tent all tangled up, we talked about how we really definitely wanted to fuck, but also really didn't want to do that and i looked for her in the morning but she had already left

i was saving the last picture on my disposable camera for a picture of her but she had gone so i took a picture of myself instead, i hadn't taken any of myself

i read tarot, i read for myself and i read for a bunch of other people, and there was a tarot workshop, and i did that and we sat together in a circle and passed decks around and i cried and cried and cried when i pulled the queen of cups. i've seen the queen of cups a lot of times in reading for myself and it's always been someone else, some external force, but in that moment it was me. i had brought my deck, and it was the first time anyone other than me had touched it, and i could feel the hum of the camp in the cardstock when i read for superman later in the day, and justice jumped out of the deck, and i sat with him and his wife danger and we puzzled over the cards and then i laughed and laughed and laughed because he chose to call himself superman and we couldn't figure out what justice was supposed to mean

in the hotel last night i cried for an hour, by myself, walking from the bathroom to collapse on the bed to shuffle back towards the taps, ,how can i leave all that behind? how can i be in the real world again? how can i go back to being closed off, go back to being jack instead of dizzy?

when rabbi walked us through a field holding fallen stars, each one of them a crystal-encased version of ourselves, a past or present or future that could be, and he asked us to find our perfect self, what i saw was how i looked in that moment, i saw the me at camp, the me who everyone says couldn't stop smiling, the me who speaks soft and true, who reads cards and holds hands and says yes instead of no and has a shoulder that looks like a good place for your cheek

[str8-goggles]

So a friend agreed to read some meta (I had just named a bunch of tjlc meta ppl) and she gave me permission (I think) to try to persuade her. It would be great if she became a believer before -it happens- and this was my response! Friend Lol those names mean nothing to me! Still I like the idea of treating the whole show as a puzzle to be solved, BUT from an outsider's standpoint to these theories, I feel as if the writers are just being emotionally manipulative at this point Me: ? Maybe I help-what you mean Friend They see that people are reacting in this way and are adjusting accordingly Me (deep breath): Hmmm. Well, before they even started making the series, they conversed about Sherlock and came to the conclusion that they SHOULD make the series because they AGREED entirely on their interpretation, and no one else had ever done it RIGHT. Those aren't shouty caps, it's just the easiest way to emphasize on an iPhone What is an interpretation that's never been done before? Sherlock and Watson were secretly together, but couldn't write that in the stories because they would be arrested-- Arthur Conan Doyle would have been arrested, so there has always been queer subtext... Mark and Steven INSISTED in the pilot and in ASiP that the opening shot HAD TO BE Sherlock inverted, opening a body bag. Why inverted? It was the name for gay people in the Victorian era. Why can't it just be that Sherlock is gay? That's been done before(twice actually)-- their favorite movie is "The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes" and the director? Writer? Both? Said like 20 years after the movie that he had intended to make Sherlock gay, and the reason he died drugs is to distract from unrequited gay love, he wanted to make it explicit but it remained subtextual and he deeply regretted not going farther with it. Mark and Steven said they wanted to "fix" the way it had been done before. The ending of TAB implies where they want to go with this-- They change the original story. Instead of going over the falls or whatever, John shows up and saves Sherlock, saying "I think (Sherlock) finds your attention a shade annoying" to Moriarty. And "don't you read the Strand? There's always two of us" Sherlock then calls him John, in Victorian times this is intimate, and implies he's felt that way for a long time. John asks "what's he like, the other me in the other place?" After calling attention to the metafiction of the show "I'm a storyteller, I know when I'm in one" Sherlock basically calls him hot "smarter than he looks" John doesn't get offended "pretty damn smart then" and Sherlock agrees. At some point Moriarty even says they should elope, and John is like LOL OK, but also nunya business. Final shot of the whole episode is of Victorian Sherlock and John smoking pipes suggestively, and happily living together NO MARY AT ALL One of the first scenes, a scene that exists in both pilot and first so is them having dinner, and John says in response to Sherlock admitting to only being interested in men "okay, so you're single like me, okay, fine, good" And Sherlock fucking Holmes, who manipulates people that are attracted to him ALL THE TIME, recognizes John's attraction and says "I'm flattered, but I'm not looking at the moment" (this is totally different from his reactions when women hit on him). In the second episode he asks John out on a date. Like. Explicitly. So if they keep saying that they've been planning a big rug pull / payoff / wish fulfillment soon (season 4), and they've already established Sherlock is gay, then where could they be going? The writers have also talked about how important it is to have gay characters of all shades, and literally said "you need to be able to have a gay baddie" but there is too much pressure to represent everything when there aren't enough gay character because then you are implying all gays are baddies, so he added "or a camp gay, or a grumpy bisexual" I think grumpy definitely describes John. Anyway-- I just had fun writing this, but yes, I think it's been the intention from the first moment of the first pilot. Before they began filming they got Benedict to sign on because they told him "how they were going to do it" and he found it interesting and wanted to take part. The thing that interested him has never been revealed, but Benedict did also describe series four as "Very Dark, but in the end, Love conquers all" As for why they are keeping it secret, and I admit, it almost seems cruel and is definitely manipulative: 1) they want to trick straight people into watching something about gay love, and even convince them to root for it, despite over a hundred years of straight characterization. (They put a bunch of ads and interviews into right wing newspapers, and if they were more overt they wouldn't be able to) 2) it's a mystery show, and they don't want to give away one of their biggest reveals 3) They want to give the relationship it's due course. Even though John and Sherlock were into each other from the start, at the very least, Sherlock would have been a TERRIBLE boyfriend, and John also has a whole character arc to get through for him to open up to public ridicule (he's def closeted, if Bi, and it's implied that his parents were abusive / anti gay) I love ariannie's scripts, but all quotes and misquotes are ALL ME. Sorry for lack of citation, but um, I just vomited this at my friend from memory so... there.