#and she regrets asking me to go with her because a) im useless b) im an asshole

[littlegoldfinchh]

i might push my grandma down the stairs "accidentally" the next time i see her

[smh-yoon]

Do you think it’s unfair of Sakura for ending her friendship over a boy, bully Naruto for being an orphan, and being utterly useless?

hi there! i assume you’ve seen that i post sakura content, which is why you directly asked me this (even though you opted to remain anonymous). im going to assume several thing about you in this response, so buckle up! :D

1. im going to assume you either ignored or just didn’t pay close enough attention to sakuras character development in the series that made her complicated friendship with ino and initially strained relationship with naruto significant to her character and also to team seven. both of these events addressed larger developments that happened throughout the series, such as her understanding and friendship with naruto and her fixed relationship with ino and her devotion to sasuke.

2. im also going to assume you don’t really consider the fact that sakura was only around 12 when she was first put in team seven with naruto and sasuke, and that she was even younger when her and ino stopped being friends over sasuke. this is not a standard you would (or hopefully someone like you wouldn’t) hold a standard to a real 12 year old, because it’s more common sense to understand that children don’t have any real understanding of the way their words and actions affect others. also, ino was equally at fault in the ending of their friendship, but you didn’t mention her?

3. im going to also assume you are either a) a man, or b) a person with no real understanding of the misogyny present in sakuras character creation and that of many other characters in early 2000s anime. so, assuming you’re simply ignorant and not malicious, let’s talk about sakura. she trained under one of the three sanin, just like naruto and sasuke did, but was constantly written to sit and watch as she couldn’t do anything to help. why were naruto and sasuke so strong training under kakashi the same as her, one of the three sanin the same as she did? because the writers made her that way. there’s no logical explanation as to why she would be so weak in the series other than to say the writers intended that for her. from the beginning of the series, sakura is very strong and this is shown when she hits other people and leaves them dazed. she had plenty of potential and was very likely to be strong, but instead she was sabotaged by the very people who created her. also, compared to naruto who had the nine-tails to assist his strength and sasuke who had a kekkai genkai, sakuras strength was completely her own.

4. if you still don’t understand after ive explained it, im going to assume you’re not old enough to comprehend this in my simplified version of it, which means you wouldn’t understand anything more complex, which means you’re likely not old enough to read my content!!

5. im also going to assume that you don’t actually care what i have to think about the topic and just wanted a reaction from me, but i actually love speaking about the misogyny sakura faced in her creation and portrayal, so thank you!! :)

here’s a link to a post that goes into more detail with specific examples if you’re actually interested :)

[saturnsummer]

worthy.

When Sol gets a GPA of 2.02, the study group (and Joon Hwi) comes together to cheer her up. 

notes: another prompt by @thenerdywriter ! i wasn't sure if you meant it like this, but i hope you are satisfied! thank you for your prompt and your trust! i do apologise for the wait!

not much fluff or cliche romantic scenes, but just simple things that i hope when you read, remember your worth and never be defeated. you are worthy, loved and deserving to be appreciated. :) inbox always open!

for anyone who have sent prompts and asks, i thank you for your ideas! i have read through all your asks and am so excited to begin writing, but please understand if i can’t reply you as fast as i hoped! so sorry for this, i’ll try to address my inbox faster!! any mistakes or incorrect information will be taken responsible by me. enjoy!

edit: everyone, please don’t cry on this omg I’ve made 5 people comment their tears now and im terribly sorry for the tears.. I meant for this to be a light hearted story but looks like everyone is crying,, I’ll try not to make people cry now..

original prompt: where joon hwi and the rest of the gang shake some sense into her (sol a) about her self-esteem. 

words: 2787 words

Sol is downstairs at the lounge, holding a clear bottle of soju. She takes another swig from the plastic bottle, hoping that the alcohol can numb her heart like it does to her head. It burns, and she’s turning woozy, but she grumbles and takes another swig. 

2.02. She’s passed, at least. But she can’t help but feel upset. She wasn’t upset that she couldn’t score as well as Yeseul or BokGi, but upset that she’s satisfied with these low results. No one is going to hire her, even less offer an internship while looking at her track records. 

Sol worked her ass off for this exam. She nearly died, if it wasn’t for Yeseul’s reminders to eat. Even her cold stoned face roommate bothered to place bottles of water on her desk. Yet, after all this... 

“Why are you still up?” She hears Joon Hwi ask as he takes a seat next to her. She stays silent with a grim expression and turns away. Joon Hwi was the last person she wanted to see, especially when she’s in such a bad mod. 

“What’s wrong?” He asks as he catches her arm just as she’s about to chug her soju. 

“Everything.” She slurs. “You know I’m not even upset with my GPA? I’m upset of being happy with my shitty grades.” Joon Hwi sighs, attempting to grab her bottle away.

“I should have never came to study. I should have never tried to prove myself to be Dan!” She scolds louder. Sol knows she’s drunk in front of her best friend, but she can’t control herself. She doesn’t care. 

“Kang Sol...” Joon Hwi stands up, grabbing her bottle away from her. “You’re drunk. Go back.” 

“I don’t belong here, anyway.” Her slurs catch Joon Hwi in his steps. 

“I never once belonged with any of you. Being with all of you just drags you all further. I should just stop burdening you all with my questions and rot in a corner. Besides, no one would care.” She softly says, her voice filled with regret and guilt. 

Sol has always felt this way. Ever since she was young, Dan was always the star child. She got top grades while Sol got through in the middle rankings. Dan was always more popular, prettier, smarter. Sol learnt at a young age that no matter what, she would always be overshadowed by Dan. 

Thus, she learnt to be quiet. Only ask questions when she really needs to. Stick to familiar people. Only be loud when told to, and blend in in every situation. She learnt to depreciate herself, because no one appreciated her in the first place. 

Joon Hwi wants to shake her. He wants to write an entire dissertation on why Sol belongs to Hankuk. He wants to show her what he sees: a smart, caring, passionate lawyer-to-be. He wants to show her what he sees when she testified for Professor Yang in court. A confident, woman knowing her morals and rights.

“Kang Sol.” Joon Hwi says, pulling her up by her wrist. Sol pushes him away, but her touches are sloppy and weak. Sighing, Joon Hwi knows that it is useless to argue about her grades and her worth when she’s not even half conscious of what she’s doing. 

He grabs her coat lying on the couch, finding her phone and plans on calling Yeseul. But it’s past 1am, but he doesn’t want to trouble Yeseul. Sighing, he contemplates calling her roomie but reality smacks when he realises she’s home. Noticing how Sol is slowly nodding off, giving in to the fatigue, it leaves Joon Hwi not much of an option to carry her back.

Fishing the room key out from her coat, he takes special care in carrying her, sweeping his arm under her knee and lifting her slowly as to not disrupt her from falling asleep. The key card is in between his fingers as he slowly and quietly makes his way up to her dorm. He thanks the deities above that no one caught him or interrupted him. 

Tapping the key card, a standard ‘beep’, he pushes the door with his back, and takes care to get him and her into the dark room. He can barely see anything, especially since he has no hands to on the lights, but he makes out his way in the small room using the moonlight and what he can tell. 

Joon Hwi knows which side Sol sleeps, knowing from her stories that include her rolling from the bed up to the desk. By now, Sol was sleeping soundly, a slight snore escaping her. Gently, he sets her down on her bed and reaches to take her shoes off for her. Hanging up her coat that he placed on top of her whilst he was carrying her, he finally pulled the thick blanket over her.

But he didn’t leave just yet.

“I never once belonged with any of you.”

Sol’s words echoed in his head more than he thought it would. He stopped and bent down silently by her bed side, taking a few moments to wonder to himself just how and why does she feel so unworthy.

He grabs her bottle of water from her bag, before putting it next to her phone, which is on the table. Knelt on the floor, he observes the slow rise of her chest and the way her eyes flutter and nose twitch when Sol sleeps. Just how can someone like Sol think she’s any less than what he sees?

“You belong here in Hankuk. I’ll show you just why.” His whisper barely audible, as he brushes away a stray hair on her face. With that, he takes his leave and sneaks back to his dorm. (Without getting caught)

-----

The next day, after two painkillers and a big bowl of hangover soup (left mysteriously by someone at their pantry), Sol is headed to study group. She is running a few minutes early than their scheduled timing, but she’s surprised to find the group huddled in hushed whispers. 

“What are you all looking at?” Sol asks, as she sets her book at her usual corner opposite Joon Hwi. BokGi lets out a startled yelp and Yebeom clamps his mouth shut. Sol isn’t surprised to see Jiho crowded there, but is even more shocked to see Sol B crowded with them too. If it was anything, Sol B wouldn’t crowd around and discuss things, unless it concerned herself, or benefitted her grades.

“What...” Sol leans over and raises her eyebrows. Yeseul’s eyes dart nervously and she breaks into a smile. The rest of the group just shuffles back to their seats murmuring under their breath.

“Nothing, unnie! They were just discussing on what to order for lunch.” Yeseul says as she walks over to Sol and takes her bag and books from her, before setting it on the table. “Unnie, shall we get coffees?” Yeseul escorts her out of the room before Sol could react. Sol assumes that it’s due to her hangover that Yeseul is suggesting coffee, thus just following and getting a cold brew and assorted drinks for the others. 

When she returns, they distribute the drinks and start discussing on what to study. 

“Noona, do you have anything?” BokGi asks, a little too enthusiastically. Sol is taken aback and lost for words. She usually just follows whatever the rest want, since answering her questions will take hours. Joon Hwi gives a sympathetic smile. 

“How about you share with us about a recent case? Remember the one that Professor Kim liked in particular?” Joon Hwi suggests. Sol grows quiet. Her? The worst student? Sol let’s out an uncertain laugh.

“Ah, me? I rather my roomie shares. She did better than me.” Sol says, then prepares a fresh document for note taking on her laptop.

“I didn’t do well.” Sol B says quietly, her eyes emotionless as usual, leaning back into the chair. “You did the best. Go on.” Sol is stunned and just nods uncertainly. Taking out her case notes and her reports that she submitted, she nervously discusses the topic on hand. She sneaks Joon Hwi a couple of questioning stares but he only pretends to not catch her eyes.

Everyone is enthusiastic, asking questions and when Sol is stumped, they jump in to help her. They suggest ideas and Sol has never felt so energised by their energy before. She find it fishy how Joon Hwi just sits back and she can feel him smiling whenever she makes a point right or figures out a missing link.

An hour later, when they are done expanding on Sol’s case and discussing, they break for a late lunch together.  Yebeom enters the room with bags of food, as usual over ordering. As they pass out containers of jjampong and jjajamyeon, Sol’s eyes light up when she saw the only thing that mattered in the whole order: her beloved pickles, in doubled servings. 

What Sol doesn’t expect is for JiHo to dump his packet of pickles on her container of noodles. 

“JiHo-ah, why...” Sol is dumbfounded for a moment as JiHo opens his pack of noodles to stir. JiHo only pushes up his glasses. 

“You can have them, noona.” Sol is even more dumbfounded. This was the first time JiHo has called her noona. She didn’t care for the honourifics, and JiHo could call her by her full name for all she cared. But hearing those words from Seo JiHo’s mouth, just made her think everyone was utterly suspicious today.

“Okay, everyone is being weird. What is this?” Sol announces, hoping her tone came out fun, with no hints of anger. 

“Nothing! We just know you’ve been feeling stressed, so JiHo decided to give you his share of pickles, right?” BokGi quips up, as he dives into taking the sauce to pour over the tangsuyuk, before Yebeom and him argue over pouring or dipping. 

Sol, still feeling suspicious, breaks her chopsticks just as Joon Hwi picks up a pickle from her plastic saucer to put on her noodles. Her eyes dart from his chopstick to his face, but he just nods at her pickles, expressions hard to read.

Sol crunches on her pickles, but it does nothing to soothe the feeling that everyone was aware of something, but her. 

-----

The rest of the week was a puzzle piece that Sol could not fix together.

She woke up everyday to a new message by Joon Hwi, sometimes sending her funny videos, or a simple “let’s get through this together”. She woke up once to her roomie handing her breakfast and coffee. It just didn’t click in Sol’s head to see the cold Sol B hand her a sandwich and coffee.

Their group chat was undoubtedly noisy, but even more so now. Something in common was how the more chatty ones would ask Sol for advice or chat and strike noisy conversations. She was used to the chaos, but she definitely didn’t feel used to having the attention on her.

As the group had earned different internships from small and large firms, Sol was going to be left in school alone, still applying and hoping for one to come her way. Her study group knew about it, and instead continued to encourage her about it. They avoided talk on their internships, and actively tried to help Sol. While Sol was grateful, she couldn’t help but wish that they would just act normal and not worry about her.

She chose to meet them for breakfast on the day of their internships. The meal was noisy as usual as they ate their sandwiches and gimbaps. They were dressed smartly in their suits with their briefcases. Sol made a fuss over everyone looking smart on their first day.

“Hurry up and eat, you’re going to be late for your internship!” Sol scolded BokGi as he and Yebeom threw comments back and forth. Everyone was off for theirs and ready with their jackets and bags. Walking with them to the door, she couldn’t help but feel like a mom to her kids, sending them to school.

“Noona! Check your table later in the libra-” Yebeom gleefully mused before BokGi clamped his mouth shut and JiHo (with much irritation) smacked his head silently.

“What?” Sol asks, turning to Joon Hwi, who was turning redder by the second. Joon Hwi closes his eyes, the same way he does when he’s embarrassed and looks away from her.

“Listen to Yebeom and check the table.” He says, finally looking at her. “We’ll see you for dinner then.” Waving a quick goodbye, the group walked away from her towards the carpark where they separated to the bus stops or in the direction of the train station.

“O-Okay…” she mutters, still confused as she carries her books and bag to her usual table at the library. She would have went to sulk at Professor Kim’s office for a while, but she instead chose to head straight to study. Professor Kim had enough on her plate and she wasn’t ready just yet to face Professor Kim with her mood.

There, at her table, lies her stack of books.

Normal, nothing out of the ordinary. Huffing out, she slumps her bag on her table, gathering the post its on the bar above the table. Most of them were just plain comments, like how she had to stop slamming her pen into her hand (it distracted students) or move out of the library cause there aren't enough seats. Opening her book on civil code, she was ready to start drilling her head before meeting Professor Kim. 

Then she spots an envelope, hidden between the pages of the book.

Carefully, she picks it out and looks on the cream white paper, the only ink on it her name, written in neat handwriting. She could recognise Joon Hwi’s handwriting anywhere. A slight scoff escapes her lips and several students turn in annoyance. Realising that this was probably not the best place to be in, she grabs her books and bags (and the post its) and leaves the library. She heads to the empty study room, where she knows she’s be comfortable at.

Opening the flap, she slips out numerous slips of paper, varying degrees of length and sizes. Some words were neat, some were a little messy.

-----

To: Unnie <3

Sol-unnie, you know you’re smart, right? Your grades may not show that you are the best, but I know you are! Whenever I hear you discuss a case with the study group, I know you’re trying your best to memorise and improve. Don’t give up, unnie! I will support you till the end!

- Yeseul 

To: Sol-A noona

Yah, noona! You have to stop injuring yourself, okay? You gave us a really big scare the last time when you started nose bleeding in the midst of study group. Noona, don’t look at your grades anymore! If a man like me can get through law school so far pretty well, you can too! Fighting, noona! 

Noona~ you’re really talented. The fact that you scored so well during the criminal law test and managed to spot the comma just shows for amazing you are! Noona, don’t be discouraged... seeing you discouraged makes us sad too. Your favourite dongsaeng is here to help you! 

- BokGi and Yebeom 

To: Kang Sol-A

You can do it. Review your cases before classes. Get your internship.

-JiHo

To: Sol-A

Live up to your name, will you? And sleep on a regular schedule. 

- Roommate

To: Sol

Sunbae, remember me? Stop doubting yourself and trust yourself. You’re smarter than you know and fit for court. I will support you from wherever you are. I’m grateful for you, for supporting me all this time. I think Dan would be proud of you, and so will the cookie Byeol. 

Sol, you are worthy in my eyes. So stop undermining yourself. You belong in Hankuk next to me. You can’t give up now.

-Joon Hwi

-----

Sol lets a smile creep on her face as she lets a small blush rise to her face. Holding her letters to her heart, she closes her eyes, reminding herself of the past week and her friend’s efforts to cheer her on. She knew no doubt it had to be Joon Hwi who convinced everyone there to write for her despite their busy schedule. For even Sol B to help out and bother about her, it warmed her heart to have her support.

Picking her book, she pinned her hair up as she started drill into her book with a new found confidence, fuelled by her friends supporting her. But most importantly, she felt worthy. She felt loved. She felt confident. She was hopeful.

(Everyone thinks she’s worthy in their eyes, but one just thinks she’s perfect.)

[wwhitewwolff]

Good morning

Bucky Barnes X Reader

Warnings: cheating, insecurities, lies, angst, misleading storyline?? This one is long

Summary: when Bucky stops texting his long distance girlfriend good mornings each morning she gets suspicious, going back to America to visit him she's in for a surprise she had never expected.

A/N: guess who's writing again? No one because no one guessed because like 3 people will read this and it will be dead forever *shrug* I feel like this storyline is really misleading so, sorry? Also AOS is a main theme for this but if you don't watch the show it really doesn't matter

This is Bobbie btw for anyone who wants to know what she looks like for this

It had been over a year since you had seen your boyfriend, well properly seen your boyfriend, moving back to England was a hard decision for you but you knew it was the best one, you knew that taking the promotion was the best thing you could do but your mind was still constantly plagued with insecurities and worries, but you knew Bucky wasn't like that, he could never? Could he?

It had started about 3 months ago, his usually cheerful morning texts which never failed to bring a smile to your face had stopped, almost ceased to exist, from his constant hey, baby! How's my gorgeous girl? To his babyyy! Wake uupp! It's been too long! Facetime me when you're free my pretty doll. his morning texts had fallen to a simple hey or I'm busy we'll talk later and the main fact he never bothered to text first anymore had caused your usual insecurities to skyrocket, why did he never have time to send you a simple hello anymore? Or more importantly who meant he didn't have the time?

Your phone buzzed as you say in bed, mind plagued by thoughts, you immediately shot up, hopefully Bucky had gone back to usual? Opening your phone you had found a simple text from your boss Phil 'meet me in the headquarters at 10', why was Phil in England? More importantly why did he need to see you?

Standing up you prepared yourself for the day to come.

"Hey y/n/n!" Your good friend and teammate Bobbi chirped as she brought you your regular morning drink

"mornin' Bob" you slurred out as you wrapped your coat around your frame tightly, shivering as you took in the very open windows.

"someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. Argh! No! Stop throwing things at me!" Hunter shrieked as Bobbi began throwing pillows at him.

"Wow, adorable couple" you mumbled as you took in the pair, after getting remarried the pair had fallen deeply in love once again, you wished you could have that but unfortunately being the director of S.A.B, shield associations Britain you barely had the time to speak to Bucky, yet alone the time to break up with him or move on, whereas normal couples may have fallen apart you were way to busy to even think about dating or parties or even making new friends, you stuck to your own lane.

"hunter! Barbra!" A familiar, fatherly voice boomed as the familiar figure of Phil Coulson stepped into the office, taking in the pair he hadn't seen since Russia "I thought you two were never coming back to shield?" He grinned happily

"we could never leave our dear y/n alone in a country! She's so far into work she hasn't even been shopping yet!" Bobbie exasperated "and please, Phil! Dont call me Barbra! Barbra is far worse than any possible nickname you could give me!" The blonde grinned cheekily

"Bobbie, stop being so dramatic, we went shopping last month!" You shook your head playfully as you took a seat at your desk, gesturing for Phil to sit opposite you beside Hunter -who had perched himself happily onto one of the plush leather chairs-

"I need you to come back to New York for a while" Phil stated softly

"what? Really? Ohmygosh nofreakingway!" You shrieked happily

"English, y/n/n!" Hunter playfully chided, wagging a finger at you as you practically glowed, you had missed your friends and especially Bucky.

"when?" You asked excitedly

"next month, I'm sending agent Piper to hold things down till you get back here" Phil smiled at the young woman, barely reached her late 20's and still so experienced yet full of life. A small smile graced his lips as he watched the h/c girl jump up and start rambling.

• time skipy•

The buzz of the quinjet filled your ears as you stepped off, e/c orbs wandered as you took in the familiar tower in which your boyfriend and some of your closest friends lived, sighing deeply you grabbed Bobbi's hand and quickly guided her to the doors

"nervous?" She asks over the low rumble of the quinjet ascending back into the air and back to the main s.h.i.e.l.d base. Turning your head to face Bobbi you opened your mouth to deny but quickly remembered how useless it would be- you knew the spy since s.h.i.e.l.d academy! She knows you better than you do and vice versa

"I don't know why, b! I mean I'm going to see some of my best friends AND my boyfriend!' you blurted out exasperated, anyone walking past might have looked at you like you're crazy but Barbara Morse was your best friend in the entire world and she had seen much worse than you screaming out into the rough winds.

"y/f/n" she stopped walking abruptly piping your linked arms backwards with her "has Bucky been acting weird with you?" She asked inquisitively, shrugging you immediately regretted not speaking to her about Bucky before, she would have helped. "Oh y/n/n; you didn't you tell me? No wonder you're so skitterish today! Whatever it is I'm sure it's nothing too big, Bucky loves you and I can even tell that without meeting the man! He's probably on a mission or something, he IS an avenger" Bobbi calmly rubbed your back as she spoke, guiding your hand to the identification scanners.

"thanks Bob, you always know how to make me feel so much better. I love you" you sighed dreamily, aiming to annoy the woman "oh you cow! Stop being so corny!" The blonde laughed aloud and she lightly smacked your hand, walking into the escalators you began calming your nerves, you felt like a giddy teenager going to her first date. And you hated it. The fact that a few stupid texts had lead you into this trivial paranoid stage had fully set into your mind. It was Bucky for god's sake! James Buchanan Barnes, the same James who stumbled over his words when asking you out, the same bucky who arrived an hour early to pick you up for said date and almost died when he realised, the same Mr Barnes who quit the avengers (although for 10 minutes) to be with you. He was your Bucky and you don't need texts to know that.

As the elevator doors pinged open you and Bobbie stepped out and into the large lounge which occupied the avengers.

Looking up Steve's mouth gaped open before jumping up and accidentally flipping the table over as he ran towards you "Y/N/N! YOU'RE HERE OH MY! I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN SO LONG! I MISSED YOU!! AND IM SO SORRY ABOUT HOW HE-" Steve blabbered out as he squeezed hugged you tightly, barley taking in anything he was saying you were quick to end his ramblings

"'tevie! I've missed you and all but shhhh inside voices remember" you laughed as the soldier nodded looking like a lost puppy

"sorry y/n/n but I've missed my best friend so-" this was when Bobbie felt to make her presence known "hold up! Wait a minute! If anyone is y/f/n's best friend; it's ME. So sit down mate, she's mine" bobbie stated proudly, reminding you of your (then) puppy when meeting Bucky

Shaking your head you introduced Bobbie and greeted everyone else, sitting down inbetween Pietro and Wanda you looked around the room, the obvious man who wasn't in the room still plagued your mind "hey,guys where Bucky?" You asked with a small smile, the avengers a looked at you as if you'd grown 2 heads "what? Can't I see my boyfriend?" You laughed, greeted with silence you stood up "I check I'll check his room then?" You asked wearily before all but sprinting our the room, barely noticing how the room erupted and bob and Steve had run after you.

The elevator door closed as soon as you stepped inside, you were so confused, why was everyone so shocked? Especially when you called him your boyfriend? And Steve looked mortified! Taking a deep breath you stepped out and walked to your "boyfriends" door

"hmm yes buck!" A feminine voice sighed from the room as you neared it, stopping about a step away from the door you could almost feel the tears gathering in your e/c orbs, pushing them away you stopped to listen...not a sound came out, your mind must have been playing tricks surely!

Gulping a big breath of air you stepped forwards and opened the door quickly "Bucky! Surprise! I'm- Oh my god" your playful tone turned quiet and lifeless and you took in the scene Infront of you, bucky laying almost naked ontop of a scantily clad Natasha

•

Steve knew something was wrong the moment you asked for Bucky, why would she ask where Bucky is? Bucky had told the team he broke up with her to date Natasha MONTHS ago, then y/n called him her boyfriend and the entire team was stunned as it dawned onto steve.

Bucky didn't break up with his girlfriend, he was cheating on her with Natasha whilst the girl was off being a good person in England.

Steve quickly ran after his friend, Bobbie following shortly after as they attempted to keep up with the h/c girl, when the elevator doors closed quickly the man knew he was far too late.

"Rogers? Care to explain?!" Morse snapped as she stared up at the giant of a man

"buck...no" too in shock to believe Bucky, HIS Bucky would do this, words Jumbled and the man leaned against the wall awaiting the lift to come

"spit it out Rogers! If something is wrong with my best friend I need to know!" Barbara placed a hand onto the blondes arm, staring into his eyes as she searched for answers

"Bucky said they broke up, he's been seeing natasha since October"

•

Bucky knew he'd messed up, quickly scrambling off of natasha and throwing the blanket over her barely clothes body the ex assassin stared up at his girlfriend...well ex now he guessed

"you... little...I can't even.." you gasped out as you stepped back into the hallway

"y/n! Baby no!" He cried running after you

"OH FUCK OFF BARNES" your calm yet betrayed tone turned Malicious as you turned too him in a rage and screamed, the other avengers at this point had caught up and we're watching shocked, they had seen your angry side of the field or in life or death situations (or scariest of all, during monopoly) but never had you ever screamed or raised your voice at any of them and here you were fists clenched and body shaking as you stated at the man Infront of you.

"YOU ARE HONESTLY THE MOST EVIL MAN I'VE EVER MET! WHILST IM OUT THERE WORKING SO HARD FOR SHIELD YOURE WHORING AROUND WITH THAT SLAG?!" You screamed, natahsa at this point had stepped out and stared at you in shock

"Hey! You want a punch, bitch?!"

"she's not a slag!" The pair yelled at the same time, this just fueled your rage.

"OH FUCK OF! DON'T KID ANY OF US NATASHA YOU SLEEP YPUR WAY THROUGH LIFE AND YOU BARNES IM SURPRISED YOU EVEN GOT NATASHA SEEING AS YOURE SO FUCKED UP I'M EVEN SURPRISED YOU GOT ME!" you had no idea where this was coming from but rage and pain from all these few months had come crashing down on you

Feeling a familiar and protective arm wrap around your shoulders you expected the figure to pull you away, or hug you, or calm you but no- Barbra Mose does NOT tolerate betrayal and most certainly not when it's directed at her best friend

"you're surprised? Babes, the whore has probably slept around with half the world, i mean the cheap cunt probably had to flash her saggy boobs and that bitch ran to her with open arms" Bobbie stated, her voice strong and insulting yet everyone without even knowing this woman could tell that she was about to commit a murder.

"let's go, hun" bobbie stated, your energy gone as you pushed through the team behind you, however you stopped and turned to see that Bucky and natasha, although looking guitly had traveled to eachother, you turned back to face them and took menacing steps towards them, as soon as you were in range of the pair you cocked your fist back and bought it to the throat of your boy- your ex.

"bye Barnes, rot in hell with this demon of a woman"

And with that you called Phil, you wanted to disconnect the avengers from the S.A.B and told him that you would be extending your trip; it was time to step up as director, you were here now and your job was to make sure Sheild is at the top, and no sex obsessed dick of an ex is gonna break you.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Okay it's so bad I know but the first parts were in my drafts for so long and I need to start writing again, I accidentally deleted my Steve imagine AND the first Bucky imagine so I'm trying to get those back but I'm also trying to actually right again. No one's gonna read this I know but it was a fun idea I had that strayed far, plus as long as I like my writing I'll keep doing it and maybe I'll do a part 2? Idk

[hey-hey-chan]

Demon!Stray Kids

❀ Fantasy/supernatural

❀ Word Count: 1.8K

❤ For @strgaykids who gave me this idea. I know your bias is Felix, but this became a Chan fic because he was my bias :(( and im sorry it sucks i cant write anymore :(( also i didnt reread this so dont hate me :(( 

❀ a/n: So here’s something new ,, there’s no love interest i guess just pure brotherhood :^) Sorry this is so short ,,, im having a bad time of writers block :( 

Chan 

I felt my opponent push me down, my stomach and face hugging the ground a little too intimately. I grunted in pain.

“GET UP! GET UP!” I heard the older man yell. I groaned. I couldn’t stand with my legs feeling like they were jello and that my bleed was spilling all over the mat.

I felt another kick come in contact with my side. I held in a scream, but I still let out a groan of pain. 

“You wimp! You can’t even fight a girl!” I heard another student yell. I knew woman were strong, but I still felt a blow to my ego. Although, the girl didn’t seem to like his statement. 

“Whatever! You can’t even beat me, you asshole!” She screamed, ignoring me for a split second. 

I heard the familiar whistle blow, signaling the end of a fight.

“Song Hyemi wins!” The instructor yelled bitterly. I felt myself being pulled up and to the sidelines. “C’mon boy! You can’t keep losing when you’re in line for the throne!” I heard the other kids laugh at my misery and who their next king was. 

I was ashamed. 

All demon royalty had the strongest of powers ranging from fire, manipulation, and mind reading. Yet, I had nothing. Not even an once of any ability. 

All demons had some powers, yet they weren’t as strong as the royals. Except they were all stronger than me. 

“Good fight, Chan. See you next time.” The girl I was fighting nudged me and gave me an evil smile. She walked over and high fived all the other students in our class. I wanted to be mad at her, but I knew she was an amazing fighter.

“Aw, Chan hyung, it’s ok, your powers will come in one day.” I felt a hand on my shoulder, making me slightly more at ease. I look behind my shoulder and sighed at the red head I call brother.

“Really? Because I’m almost 21 and no sign of any abilities have come in. Plus, I’m not like the usual demons. I have no urge to fight or to go hunting.” I set down my weapons and sit on a bench. 

Hunting. That’s what demons call finding evil demons, yes, there are ones more evil than us, and sucking their souls out. Just like any other species, we had jails, crimes, laws- we weren’t savages. 

“It’s ok bro, you’ll find your drive some time. Plus, so what? You’re a nice guy! That isn’t-” Before my brother could finish his sentence, I felt hands rest on my shoulders, spinning me around.

“Do you think this is a game?” He shouted immediately once all the other kids were in the lockers. “Huh? You think it is? You think dying on the battlefield when millions of people are counting on you? You think that’s just one big joke?” He screamed at me. I stood still and let him project his anger on me, but my brother was a different story.

“Hey, he’s trying, my brother is a good guy, ok?” I held Felix back before he could say any more.

“You’re right, I’m being stupid. I need to train harder...but it’ll be useless without my powers. I’m a strategist, not a fighter.” I confessed. The instructors eyes turned an ashy gray, contrary to his dark charcoal eyes. 

“You better learn how to fight soon or else your younger brother will have to step up instead. Chew on that, boy.” The man stomped out of the room like a child, leaving me and Felix to stand in the empty room. 

I felt a pat on my shoulder even before I could even think.

“Don’t listen to them, bro. You’re a smart guy and maybe our kingdom needs some more smarts than big burly guys.” He joked. I laughed at his childish humor. 

When I was growing up, I always felt that I was different. The other kids cast fires, ice, wind, all of these scary elements, and yet I had nothing. I would always stand and watch in awe while my parents stood off to the side sighing. 

I was pacifist. I hated fighting and everything about it. I hated war; I hated violence. And I had raised my brother that way, leaving him to be one of the most powerful demons in the world with no drive to fight. I could only regret what I taught him. 

I patted him on the shoulder and pulled him to the dining area. 

“Forget about it, let’s just dinner.” I muttered giving him a cheeky smile. 

“That’s true, we have better things to focus on, like how hot the girl who was beating you up was-” I immediately slapped him on the shoulder and laughed.

“FELIX! Please tell me that’s not what you were focusing on the entire time.” I blushed. The boy shook his head.

“Nope! I was focusing on how she was beating your ass to the ground every-” I, being the normal big brother I was, gave him a noogie and made him apologize. Although my brother could just blast him with his flames, he decided not to. Which made me even softer for the kid.

“Ok, ok, I give up!” He got out of my grasp and ran a few steps ahead into the dining hall. 

Immediately as we walked in, the glares and stares were on us. I walked confidently forward towards our food, ignoring the blatent hatred in their eyes.

In the demon world, the best were the cruelest, the most cunning, the strongest: I was none of those. 

“LOSER! You can’t even get one hit in!” I heard one kid yell at me.

“You two are a disgrace to the kingdom!” A girl shouted. 

“Just hand down the throne already-” I heard gasps erupt, knowing that comment was too far, but I just kept walking.

“People are so weird these days, they have nothing better to do but hate on us.” I joked to my brother. He scoffed and laughed at my statement.

“That’s true, let me show them at least one brother has powers.” Before I could stop him, a burst of fire shot through the cafeteria, each span of flames stopping in front of each student’s face. 

Their faces turned from laughter to horror, and I wanted to laugh, but I knew it was wrong. 

“Felix.” I warned. He gave me a pouty look and sent away the flames. No one messed with us after that. 

Suddenly, the doors of the cafeteria busted open, shocking each of the students.

“CHAN AND FELIX! Report to the west wing, now!” 

Felix and I had no time to look at each other and rather ran up from out seats. Unfortuanetly, we had a ratehr large crowd follow us. 

“HURRY!” 

At those words, we ran to the wing, looking for any sign of danger along the way.

“Chan-”

“It’s ok!” I calmed, even though I had no clue what the situation was.

As we reached the west wing, I saw it.

Two deranged demons.

Their teeth were rotten, probably from the others they had eaten. Their hair was falling out and sticking out in every which direction. Their eyes where pure black, not whites to be seen. 

Deranged demons were demons who had diseases and often turned crazy to be honest. Their minds were consumed by the natural evil in us and left them to feed on other demons- which was obviously illegal.

Unfortunately, only royal blood were able to destroy deranged demons in the demon world. That’s just perfect. 

Mostly, these demons roam in the mortal world, looking for souls to compel, but of course, my luck is terrible and two very strong ones happened to be standing in front of me.

I felt my brother take a step forward. I instinctively grabbed him and pulled him back.

“No, it’s too dangerous.” I mumbled. He looked at me with a worried gaze in his eyes.

“Dude, well how are you planning on stopping them?” 

He was right. We were the only royal bloods here besides my parents, and I had no idea when they would come. 

“Ok, well then, let’s umm..” I trailed off, unable to think of a plan.

“COME ON! JUST KILL THE THING!”

“Yeah! Let Felix kill them!” 

“YEAH! KILL THEM!” I heard numerous chants and frightened screams behind us, but they weren’t important. I knew if the demons got ahold of one of us, they would not stop. Draining a royal’s soul would lead the demon to be faster, stronger, smarter-something we obviously didn’t want them to be.

“Well bitch, what are you supposed to do?” 

“I DON’T KNOW!” I whispered at the poor boy who was clearly wanting to fight off the deranged. 

Think Chan think. 

I searched my brain for any ideas, but all of them told me to just let Felix fight hem off. I felt useless in this battle. 

“Fine, you can-” 

Suddenly, the deranged started screaming and running towards us. My eyes widened, preparing for the worst, but the worst never came.

I saw flames fly over our heads and right into the bodies of the deranged. Whines and whimpers flooded the west wing and both of them collapsed, fading into the familiar ashes. 

“What are you all doing standing here?? GO EAT YOUR DINNERS!” Felix and I turned our heads around at the same time and stared at the man. The crowd quickly dispersed at my father’s wishes, leaving me and my brother to gulp in fear. 

Waiting for a scolding, Felix and I held our breath. The king took one step towards us and sighed.

“Just get some rest boys, and next time don’t hesitate to kill them. They can easily hurt you and your classmates.” Our father turned around and returned to whatever he was doing.

Once he disappeared from sight, I let out a big sigh. 

“That was rough.”

I sat in the dorms with my brother as we both shared a room.

“Chan?” I set down the book I was reading and looked at my brother.

“Hm?”

“What happens if we can’t defeat those demons next time? What will happen to us?” He asked sadly. I sighed and pushed the book to my side. Chemistry could wait.

“We die.” I deadpanned. The young boy sucked in a breath.

“B-but, we need to kill them next time. I just, I don’t know, I don’t like knowing I killed someone.” He admit. I gave him a sad look and patted him on the shoulder.

“Don’t feel bad about having a heart, Felix. That’s something many demons don’t have.” I poked him on his chest, hoping that’s where his heart was. “Compassion is your biggest strength and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.” 

He said nothing at my words and I wondered if I said anything wrong.

Suddenly, I felt his lanky arms wrap around my body. 

“You too, Chan. You’re the nicest guy I know.” His words warmed my heart. I chuckled and patted his arms. 

“Yeah, yeah, at least you’re strong though.” I noted. He unwrapped his arms from me and demonstrated his small flames. I gazed in awe at his abilities- they always shocked me. 

Until he set my lamp on fire.

“God dammit Felix, not again!” 

[jjkfire]

Escape; pt.10 (epilogue)

Reader x Jungkook // (???)!AU // 14k words

Summary: Everyone has a number over their heads that says how useful they are to society from 0-100. You have a number ‘4’. You leave the city for some peace but you meet your cocky neighbor who seems to get on your nerves.

Genre: Fluff

Y/LN refers to your last name/family name

A/N:  Hi wow hello. Look here! It’s the epilogue to Escape! This is for all of you who have been extremely encouraging throughout the series and have shown me love and support throughout it all. I love you all so much because truly this series is my baby! It was my first attempt at a long chaptered fic! So basically anyway this is for my ogs who’ve sent me such sweet things about escape @thekookiecrush @hxsungwoon @katthecaptain @wide-awaker @revolutionbreez @orixiro @parkheehi @misxing-you @megjin @antaedepressant @marrauderr @minsuxga (the pregnancy ask… im suing you!) AND OF COURSE NOT FORGETTING MY BB @wicdrop and also all you anons out there! i remember all of you!!!!

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4 // Part 5  // Part 6 // Part 6.5 // Part 7 // Part 8 // Part 9

Previously…

Here’s a recap because it’s been too long!  Jimin’s in jail after being caught trying to steal floor plans from Y/L/N Logistics (He was blackmailed by Jeon Logistics). Hoseok played a part in that and he was the one who falsified the audio clip that made you think Jungkook was in a relationship with you to decipher DIADEM. Jungkook didn’t tell you it was Hoseok because it’ll break you. You hear the original clip that Jimin had recorded of that night, proving Jungkook’s innocence and after hours of searching, Jungkook finds you in the local park, holds you close as you cry, begging for his forgiveness and he forgives you, of course he does because none of this is your fault. –> or skim through part 9 bc I feel like this was a horrible recap

Jungkook hates Hoseok with a passion and every time he sees his face, he just wants to put in a solid punch for your sake but you’ve warned him against doing so many times before and he wonders how you do it, how you always take the high road so easily. You seem to forgive people left and right, no matter what it is they’ve done to you and he truly finds it unfathomable that you don’t hate his family with a burning passion because he does. Blood is thicker than water you murmur to him, telling him to reconcile with his family but he simply shakes his head, unable to find it in him to do so, to forgive both his and even your own family like you’ve done.

Jungkook dislikes your family, he’s made it very clear but you convince him that despite their flaws, you still love them very much, so he holds back the insults, clenching his jaw to stop the words from spilling out whenever he sees them. He never wants to be associated with either Hoseok or your family because they both only bring you pain and yet here he is, sitting in your father’s cozy office, sandwiched between your father and brother while Hoseok sits on the sofa chair on the opposite side, a smug look on his face.

This is Jungkook’s last resort. He’d never be caught dead with these people but for your sake, he pushes away the anger, putting on a calm expression because hell if this doesn’t work out, he’s completely run out of options.

The meeting you had with Jimin’s lawyer had not gone the way you had expected. You had barged into her office with a million-watt smile on your face, the pen drive with the recordings in hand, the key to Jimin’s release, but she destroys all your hope with a single sentence.

“Were these recordings obtained legally?” She asks and the look on your face is enough to give her the answer she seeks.

“Then I’m afraid this would be inadmissible in court.”

“B-but you need to listen to them! They blackmailed him into doing it!”

“It doesn’t matter what’s on there because we can’t use it in court.”

Just like that, you leave her office feeling dejected, broken even because you were at a total loss of what to do. There wasn’t a single thing you could think of that could help the man that was quite possibly the only person that kept you going, that cheered you on in your adolescent years. He was the closest thing you had to family and you felt utterly useless because he was there for you all the time, every damn time but now, when he finally requests a favour, you can’t seem to step up and provide.

“Y/N, you win some and you lose some,” Jimin shrugs and you can’t help the tears that start to roll down your cheeks. All you can think about is how the world is so unfair. That in a perfect world, a man with so much love, so much kindness would never be sitting across from you in an orange jumpsuit, a 5 year sentence hanging above his head.

“Don’t cry,” He frowns placing his hand on the thick glass screen that separates the two of you.

“I’ll get you out of here somehow, I promise,” You mumble into the handset. “I’m not giving up.”

“Y/N, it’s honestly fine. They’ll probably let me out earlier for good behaviour and all that jazz,” He smiles.

“That’s still years, Jimin,” You sob. “You were coerced, blackmailed, and that’s a crime too.”

He let’s out a low hum, completely at a loss of what to say because you were right.

“I begged them you know? Dad and my brother…” You sigh. “I told them to drop the charges, showed them recordings, everything! But they said it’ll only put the company in a weaker position and the Jeons would’ve gotten what they wanted all along.”

“That’s true,” Jimin exhales. “It’s a smart decision on their part.”

“Smart decision? Jimin, they chose the company over you!” You shout. “You’ve worked for us for years now, you’re like family to us and they still chose the goddamn company over you.”

Jimin can only offer you a sad lopsided smile because such is the way of the world. Not everyone had a heart like yours, not everyone was willing to put a billion-dollar company on the line for the sake of their secretary.

“Don’t worry,” You murmur. “I’ll figure something out.”

“Y/N, it’s okay,” He sighs. “There’s nothing more you can do now.”

“There has to be something.”

He shakes his head at you because you’ve always been mightily stubborn.

“Don’t waste anymore of your time,” He mumbles. “Just move on, be happy and I’ll be out before you know it.”

“How can you expect me to just do that?” You frown. “If the roles were reversed, I know you wouldn’t stop too.”

A light laugh escapes Jimin because it’s true, he wouldn’t. He’d do everything, work himself down to the core until he could find a way to guarantee your freedom.

Wrap it up! You hear the guard shout at you and just like the numerous times you’ve visited him before, a sudden pang of sadness runs through your body.

“Not again,” Jimin groans playfully. “You cry every time.”

“Shut up,” You manage to say between sobs and Jimin wishes more than ever that the barrier between the both of you could just dissolve so he could pull you into a tight hug.

“I’ll see you soon okay?”

“Well, you know where to find me,” He laughs, eyes twinkling and you scowl at him.

He waves you a quick goodbye and though you try to stop them, the tears just continue to stream down your face.

Jimin’s okay, he really is but you never seem to acknowledge that concept, your puppy dog pity eyes always staring at him as the guard leads him out of the room and he always looks back just in time to see the guard on the other side giving you a consoling pat on the back.

Did Jimin want to be in jail? Of course not. Did he in some way deserve jail time? Sure… and it’s his mistake, he admits, that he found himself in this position anyway and yet his biggest regret of all was causing the people that cared for him to hurt the way you do. He absolutely feels like breaking down whenever his parents come in to talk to him but he puts up a front, smiling, hoping that they would spend less time worrying about him. But god, you. Nothing hurts more than seeing you cry, nothing hurts more than seeing you beat yourself up every time your plan doesn’t work out. He hated that he put you in this position because he was supposed to be a brother to you, he was supposed to take care of you but here he is, with the roles reversed in the worst way possible. He never tells you but every time he returns to his cell, he lets his measly thin mattress, if he could call it that, soak up all his tears.

“Pleasure to see you again, Jungkook,” Hoseok smirks. “What? Not going to grab me by my collar this time?”

It takes every ounce of willpower within Jungkook to stop himself from cussing the life out of Hoseok and he manages to calm himself down but Hoseok doesn’t miss the way Jungkook has his fists clenched by his side.

“Let’s just try to keep the conversation civil, shall we?” Your father grumbles.

“I understand you have a favour to ask?” Hoseok purrs and his sickly tone makes Jungkook feel like gagging.

“A favour is a nice way to put it but I’d rather classify it as a threat,” Your brother grins.

Hoseok straightens up in his chair, suddenly unsure of what exactly he had walked into.

“Jung Hoseok,” Your brother begins. “Let’s just get straight to the point. We need you to testify.”

“Testify?”

“In court, against the Jeons.”

“Are you crazy? They’ll kill me if I ever did that,” He scoffs, shaking his head.

“Right, that’s what we thought you would say,” Your brother sighs. “You know, we heard you’ve been talking to Y/N again,” Your brother begins, smirking.

“Yeah, exes can be friends,” He shrugs. “What does this have to do—"

“But I’m not so sure if she’d consider you a friend once she finds out you’ve been on a 5 year long mission to figure out diadem. That you had a hand in putting someone she cares for in jail. That everything between the both of you is a lie.”

“What are you trying to say?” Hoseok taps his foot nervously, hands fidgeting in his lap.

“Well for starters, I’m trying to say that in one phone call, I can have her here and you can watch as I show her this,” Your brother throws out a bunch of papers back from 4 years ago when Hoseok was still dating you, transcripts of him talking to Mr. Jeon on what he’s found out about the company. “And this, or this, or this,” He continues, throwing out paper after paper of all of Hoseok’s misdeeds, even the shoplifting record that Jimin had previously threatened him with. ���But most importantly, this,” He smiles, playing the play button on his phone.

“Did you get all of that?” Mr. Jeon asks.

“Yes, sir. I heard it all loud and clear. I have the code written down too.” Hoseok responds.

“Alright then, let’s call Jimin and end all of this tonight.”

Hoseok sits in his chair stunned. He had been caught off guard because he thought he was called here for an offer, perhaps some money for some information but it looks like he had read the situation all wrong because how did they get the original voice clip for that night?

Hoseok wants to scream out aloud in the room, his heart pounding, his head beginning to ache because everything between you and him isn’t a lie. Maybe parts of it are but what he felt for you then and what he feels for you even now isn’t a lie. You are the one that got away, you are who he has always pictured growing old together with… and maybe everyone else thinks it’s ridiculous but truly he just knows, that it’s you… that you’re the one and you always will be.

He sounds crazy, he knows but if only the two of you had met in a different lifetime, maybe things would be different because nobody sees the years of history the two of you have together. They don’t see the hushed words that were shared between the both of you on an overcast day, you with your head on his stomach, him sprawled out on the grass as both of you talked about how unfair the world was, about your hopes and dreams that may never come true. They don’t see how the two of you had planned it all, the perfect getaway once both of you had collected enough money to get out of this city, to perhaps settle down in a modest house by the beach with no one to judge either of you for the less than magnificent numbers glowing above both of your heads. It’s the fact that he knows you’d be happy as long as you had your carving tools and him happy as long as he had you.

Everyone in this room only sees him as a villain but couldn’t they see that he was a victim in all of this too? That if only you and him were blessed with numbers as high as any of theirs, none of this would be happening. He loves you, more than you can ever know or anyone for that matter. He knows, he’s ‘deluded’ or whatever but you’re the only person he’s ever met that didn’t look at him like he’s just a 65 that was born to help the high nineties to achieve their dreams and neither did you look at him like he was just someone who should be angry and bitter, forever cursing the system. You looked at him like he had dreams to pursue, like he could have the world in the palm of his hand if he just did what his heart desires. He remembers your words ringing clearly in his head, no matter how many years have passed, clinging onto it like it’s his lifeline because it’s the only time he’s ever felt anyone believe in him.

“Well, what do you think?” He asks, turning to you, chest heaving from the hip hop number he had just performed.

“That was amazing, Hoseok!” Your eyes still wide as you try to process the fact that it was really him that had danced so fluidly as if the bones in his body didn’t exist. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner that you could dance like that?

“It’s just… I’m not that good,” He mumbles. “I’m still working on—”

“Are you kidding? You’re straight up the best dancer I’ve ever seen.”

“Well I don’t think you’ve really seen a good dancer because… I’m just not on par, you know?”

“You are,” You answer, your eyebrows furrowed. “You should do something with that talent. Don’t let it go to waste.”

“Nah… It’ll be a waste of time. I’m a 65, Y/N. People like me don’t get anywhere.”

“You can deny it all you want but you’re a great dancer and nothing you say can convince me otherwise. I’d kill to be able to dance like you,” You smile at him. “You’re gonna be so good they can’t ignore you. It won’t matter what your number is, you hear me?”

Loud and clear. He had heard you loud and clear.

Ah, he sighs. How he wishes you were right but you’ve always had your head up in the clouds, always over optimistic. But, it was always nice to hear words like that every once in a while… It almost had him believing in it himself.

“So, are you willing to testify? Or do you want to break Y/N’s heart all over again and perhaps face some jail time too?”

“W-what—,” A deep breath, one filled with defeat. “What do you need me to do?”

And for the first time since he’s entered this office, Jungkook smiles.

As promised, Hoseok takes the stand, revealing intricacies of the entire plan, from private emails to recordings, the court sees it all from start to end. The Jeons are trapped in a corner, having no way to refute the edited evidence provided, one that Hoseok had altered to leave himself out from being implicated. How were they supposed to know the man they entrusted with destroying all the evidence would turn on them like this? What could the Y/L/N’s probably have on him that would make him switch his allegiance?

The slam of the hammer comes soon after the jury’s verdict, Jimin nearly in tears as they unlock the handcuffs around his wrists, finally a free man. Hoseok sees the undeniable smile on your face, one he takes credit for and you turn to him from the floor, mouthing out the words thank you with tears in your eyes. There’s so much he wants to say, so much he wishes he could tell you but he’s dug a grave far too deep for himself and he admits that he’s lost his chance with you.

If he was being truthful, he had lost you all those years ago but that doesn’t mean he still wishes that somehow the circumstances were different, that there weren’t so many secrets between the both of you. He wishes more than anything to turn back the clock a few years, both you and him carefree, being delinquents and loving life despite the crappy hand life had dealt the both of you. Alas, wishes are only that, just wishes and he knows now that he’s somehow made up for breaking your heart all those years ago and maybe with this, you would forgive him for the horrible mistakes he’s made, ones you’re not aware of. His heart breaks when he sees you in Jungkook’s arms but at least he knows you’re happy and that’s the best gift you could give someone you love. Happiness.

Your texts to Hoseok goes unread and your subsequent calls go unanswered. You think maybe he’s just nervous, afraid that you were going to lash out at him now that you found out that he had previously worked for Jeon Logistics. You wonder when exactly he got that job and why he had never mentioned the fact to you over your recent conversations with him. You’re left confused and in the dark because he had been eager to reconcile over the lost years just days ago but somehow it was like he had vanished into thin air. Perhaps he had decided to take off like he had the last time around when he broke your heart and it makes you frown because for whatever it was worth, he had brought joy to your life when you were just about at your lowest and for that you would always be grateful, even if he had left a deep emotional scar, one you had just recently been able to rid yourself off with Jungkook’s help.

You wanted him to know that you had forgiven him years ago, something Jungkook says he doesn’t understand but you try to explain to him that it wasn’t worth it, holding onto so much hate within yourself. Wherever he is, you hope he’s happy because even when you were with him and even through the recent texts he had been sending you, you could still sense the same old Hoseok, the one that was bitter and skeptical about life. You had tried many times over the course of your relationship with him to get him to see life in a better light, to show him that despite the circumstances, both you and him deserved to be happy and so wherever he is, that’s all you wish for him, that he’s finally happy.

And that he is. He’s happy because you are and though he may have given up his identity and taken on a new one, a deal he struck up with your father to protect him from the wrath of the Jeons when they’ve done their time, he’s trying his best to live his life the way he knows you wanted him to. Do what you love, you would always say and here, halfway around the world, he is. He joins a dance studio, a small one, teaching kids hip-hop during the day and choreographing intricate pieces when the sun has set and you were right, you always were, he laughs. Hoseok’s the happiest he’s been in years and you’ll never know but it’s all because of you. Maybe in a year or two, you’ll forget about him but he knows he’ll never forget you, not in this lifetime, not ever and he doesn’t believe in reincarnation but for the sake of you, he sometimes wishes he does because oh, what a love the both of you would’ve shared.

It’s been perhaps three months since you were bawling out of happiness in the living room of the Park household now that Jimin was finally reunited with his parents and his mother insisted that both you and Jungkook stay for dinner, a true family dinner she announced, and you had cried even harder upon hearing her say those words.

It’s a lot calmer now than it was months ago, the press finally leaving both you and Jungkook alone, off to pursue more pressing issues, or rather not-so pressing issues but either way, you’re glad you’re able to finally take Buster on a walk without being bombarded by flashing lights and mics shoved into your face. The small town you live in, hidden in the hills returns to normalcy, serene and quiet like it should be. Your days go on like normal, Buster barking at squirrels outside as you head to your old cabin to get some wood carving done. While Jungkook is busy at work, you busy yourself with your trade, packing your wood pieces up to be sold at the bazaar you often go to sell your works at. There are a lot more people than you remember, many customers coming around your store trying to drop hints to get you to talk about what really happened in the aftermath of the arrest of the Jeons but you send them away with a tight-lipped smile. Why doesn’t everyone understand that it’s something you just want to put behind you?

After months of job searching, Jimin finds himself empty handed, his criminal record the first thing employers see when they search up his name and Jimin sighs, returning home empty-handed again after yet another interview. It’s after much pestering from both you and Jungkook that Jimin accepts the position of being Jungkook’s private secretary and though he’s apprehensive at first, Jimin takes the job anyway because as far as he knew, he probably never wanted to touch the logistics industry ever again. 

The learning curve is steep and he struggles with all the complicated terms Jungkook throws his way but he remains determined, trying his best to keep up as Jungkook leads him through the tech industry. As always, Jimin proves himself to be highly adaptable, surprising even Jungkook with how much he has learnt in the span of just a few months. In no time, Jimin sheds the secretary title, becoming almost some sort of a partner in crime to Jungkook. Together, they comb through the start-up industry, pouring money into apps they believe in, the money they get in return when the apps hit the market is beyond Jimin’s wildest dreams. It’s an arrangement Jungkook loves wholly because it means he gets to spend more time with you now that he didn’t have so much on his plate.

From the first I love you to the 100th, Jungkook thinks it’s a 3 letter sentence he’ll never get tired of hearing or saying. The first few times you say it to him, your voice is barely a whisper, almost like you don’t want him to hear it but whether you shout it out or mumble it to him, it still fills his chest with an unbelievable warmth, a feeling only you can invoke out of him.

Love.

It’s a strong word but it’s the only emotion that can describe how he feels about you. He loves you, he loves you, he loves you.

He loves you when he wakes up just minutes before you, dried up drool on your face and your hair a mess but your features are so calm, so serene that he can’t help but feel like he’s the luckiest man on the entire earth for having the privilege of waking up next to you.

He loves you when you’re chasing Buster around the house as he refuses to get toweled down after his shower and you collapse onto the couch, your shirt slightly drenched in soap water, telling him that Buster is only this stubborn because he had spoiled the dog rotten, which was true to some extent but he couldn’t help it, Buster is simply too adorable.

He loves you when you notice that he’s been having a hard week at work and you do everything in your power to make his day better and that could be watching his favourite movie for the umpteenth time or baking those goddamn fudge brownies that he could never seem to have enough of but most of the time, all he needs is to snuggle up next to you, your comforting touch almost healing to him.

Sometimes he feels he’s only half as good of a partner as you are to him and he feels horrible because he wishes he could make you feel even a quarter of what you make him feel. Funnily enough, you feel the exact same way because you feel like nothing you do could ever live up to what he’s done for you. It was as if he was looking into one of those too good to be true romantic comedies that he watches too much, Jimin often says about the pair of you. Both you and Jungkook seemed to live in perpetual confusion, always thinking that one didn’t deserve the other and you both even had a cute dog to boot, the final piece to a happy family. He couldn’t think of a better pair who deserved to live out an actual romantic comedy other than the two of you.

The ladies in town often question you when you think Jungkook would pop the question and you dread it, especially when they ask you when he’s sitting right next to you. The two of you always blush beet red before you retort, maybe I’ll be the one to get down on one knee! Which always seems to shut them up.

You were happy with the relationship you had with Jungkook and so was he. You didn’t see the rush in getting engaged because what you and he have for now, is perfect and if anything, you didn’t want him to feel pressured, like he had to give you some stupid, expensive ring, as if without it, what the two of you have was anything less special.

Perhaps all the pestering makes Jungkook reach his breaking point because he comes home later and later sometimes, so late that you fall asleep with your phone in hand, waiting for his text to tell you that he was on his way. As usual, the ladies in town plant seeds of doubt in your mind, asking you if you smell perfume on his shirt when he comes home, a clear sign of infidelity, they murmur. You don’t want to doubt Jungkook because you trust him with your heart, with your life but you do admit that you catch a whiff of a sweet-smelling perfume, one that isn’t yours. It’s probably one of his client’s perfume you reason but he’s been working late almost every day of the week for close to a month now and you hate what you’ve become, you hate how you’re sniffing the shirts he throws into the laundry basket to see if you could smell that now familiar scent. Curse the ladies in town for making you feel this way.

Maybe he’s finally gotten tired of you, you sigh. Maybe the glaring number 4 he sees above your head everyday makes him resent you because perhaps he’s thinking, he can definitely do better. You shrink into your older self, the one that’s unconfident and scared. Jungkook can sense that something is off, you know he can because he takes a day off work just to spend time with you but you can’t help but feel this niggling sensation that he’s doing this as a parting gift, one last week before he says he thinks he’s done with you for good.

“Babe, i-is something wrong?”

“Hmm?” You hum in question, trying your best to hide your emotions.

“Did I do something wrong? You’ve been… distant lately.”

“I-I don’t really know what you mean.”

“Maybe it’s just me,” He sighs. “Work’s been killing me and I know I haven’t been home much… but I hope you know I’d spend every single second with you if I could,” He murmurs, stepping up to you, pulling you in close. He giggles lightly when he sees you blush. It’s amazing how you still shy away whenever he says anything remotely cheesy.

It’s hard for you to decipher what exactly is going on but you can tell he’s being sincere and everything doesn’t seem to add up. You hate that you’re doubting him like this when there hasn’t actually been solid evidence to say that he’s cheating on you.

“I know,” You smile meekly and he takes the chance to kiss you on the lips, his thumb caressing the apple of your cheek.

“What do you want to do today? I’m all yours today, I promise,” He smiles, switching off his phone just to prove that nothing was going to come in between the both of you for the day.

“Honestly… Can we just have a lazy day?” You mumble, laughing and he shakes his head as he laughs in return. He would’ve been surprised if you had suggested anything else.

Jungkook manages to convince you to spend the day lounging by the lake that the house looked out to, Buster lighting up at the words swim! Already speeding out of the house when you open the door. Both you and Jungkook spend hours simply laying side by side, laughing at each other as Buster enjoys his swim. You’re maybe into your second bottle of beer, soaking up the warm rays of the sun when he suddenly rises to pick you up, running down the length of the dock and jumping in with you in hand. You wrestle with him in the water, Jungkook laughing wildly at how furious you were but your grumbling soon turns to laughter too and you cling onto Jungkook like a koala, too lazy to swim yourself. It’s when he shrugs you off his back, turning around so he can hold you to his chest that you feel warmth bloom in your own because his smile lights up your world and you love him so much, you really do.

“I love you,” You smile, pulling him in closer for a kiss and he mumbles the same words back to you over and over again in between the kisses he plants on your lips. Screw those nosy ladies that make you doubt the man before you, screw the perfume you smell on his shirt because in this very moment, all you know is, a love like this cannot be fabricated and maybe it’s because you want to believe it but the way he says those 3 words to you, you don’t think he’s off spending his nights saying them to someone else.

As Jungkook waits for you at the shore of the lake, he can’t help but laugh at how similar this looked to when he had first spotted you here, Buster beside you, yourself in that adorable bathing suit of yours and good god, how much has changed since then and now. You skip down the length of the dock, linking arms with him when you finally reach him, and he thinks that he has to move the timeline up because he can’t wait any longer. But no, he has everything planned out, every single detail and it’s going to be absolutely perfect.

Jungkook hates, hates, hates it when he’s having a lovely Sunday brunch with you at the diner, completely lost in your eyes, loving the fact that he gets to spend every second of the day with you, only to be rudely interrupted by the extremely loving and yet, overbearing old ladies that would pop in for a meal at just about the same time.

“So, when are you going to buy her a big diamond ring? You wait long enough, someone else might swoop her up, you know?”

Jungkook blushes every damn time because of course he knows, you’re a gem, one in a million and he’s so lucky to be able to call you his girlfriend but it’s been two years now since he’s met you (again) and everyone and their mother knows that the both of you are so in love, that sometimes they forget that the both of you aren’t married, not even engaged.

Truth is, Jungkook has had the ring for close to 6 months now. It’s buried deep at the back of his sock drawer, a sizeable 15-karat diamond, surrounded by many fewer, smaller diamonds. It’s beautiful, grand and very, very expensive but it’s the only ring he believes can show you just how much he cares. He had spent hours in the store talking to the jeweler, viewing ring after ring just to make sure he could get you the perfect one. He’s been waiting and waiting, wondering when exactly would be the right moment to ask you or if he should put it off for another year because he didn’t want to scare you. He knows giving you the ring has a finality to it, that it means commitment, which is something you fear deeply.

“Diamond rings are overrated, and the diamond industry is horrible,” You groan at the ladies who’ve made themselves at home in the booth you and Jungkook were sitting at. “Child labour, slave labour and all for what? A shiny rock?” You scoff, shaking your head. “I don’t need a diamond ring, I don’t want one,” You huff, crossing your arms.

Jungkook feels a pang of fear strike him in his chest, worrying at the thought of you screaming in horror if you had found the ring or worse! If he had dropped down on one knee, the ring in hand… he can only imagine the look of disgust on your face. For the first time ever, Jungkook is grateful that the women had stopped by to pester the two of you today because he knows he’s getting rid of that ring first thing tomorrow morning.

Months later…

It’s the anniversary of the day he had first met you, yes, that would be the day he saw you at the gala when you were 8. You probably don’t remember the date, but Jungkook does, his diary entry from years ago telling him about the fateful day he met a girl that made the stinkin’ dinner that much bearable.

He’s been planning this for months now and as he stares down at the weather app on his phone, he frowns for there is a 50% chance of rain. Luck never really was on his side, the universe forever conspiring against him, he believes. The thumping sound in his chest and the way his palms seem to sweat no matter how many times he’s wiped them on his pants tells him that the day is finally here, that after months’ worth of hard work, he’s finally ready.

Jungkook had given both himself and Jimin the day off and begged him to take you to town, or anywhere really, just far from the home you shared with him. The moment you leave the house, waving him goodbye as you jumped into Jimin’s car, he goes into overdrive mode, pulling up his phone to dial the florist as he headed to the basement to pull out everything he needed to make tonight perfect.

It’s a little past 8 when Jungkook gets a text, one that informs him that both you and Jimin were going to be back soon and he lets out a deep breath, looking into the mirror one last time before standing in front of the door to wait for you, bouquet in hand.

“I’m ho— Oh?” You stumble backwards when you’re met with Jungkook standing right in front of you, shoving the flowers in your face.

“I uhh, picked these up on the way home from work,” He lies, a nervous smile on his lips. “Thought of you when I passed by them… so yeah.”

“Thank you, babe,” You grin, pecking him on the cheek before you take the bouquet from him.

“You’re dressed fancy,” You murmur, placing the bouquet on the counter. “Are you… going somewhere?” You question, unsure if he had told you he had some dinner to attend. Was that this week or next week?

“N-no, I just wanted to look nice for you,” He smiles and you laugh, quirking your eyebrow at him.

“Do you know what day today is?” He questions, grabbing your hand, leading you up the stairs.

“A Tuesday?” You answer, eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you shuffle behind him. “Kook, what’s going on?”

“It’s the anniversary of the day we first met… when we were 8,” He grins, hand still intertwined with yours as he walks you all the way up to the final floor of the house, the rooftop patio.

“How do you remember that?” You question, laughing. “You should’ve told me over the weekend! I would’ve gotten you someth—“

Your sentence is cut short as you take in the way the patio has been so beautifully lit up, fairy lights hanging over a make shift blanket fort that Jungkook has created. It looked like something off Pinterest and maybe that’s why you had caught him on the website weeks ago, looking through some pictures that looked very similar to what was in front of you.

“Kook, what is all of this?”

“I know I haven’t been home lately,” He frowns, shuffling in his spot. “And, we’ve missed so many movie nights so, I thought I could make it up to you with this,” He beams, tugging you along to take a seat with him amongst the numerous amount of pillows laid out atop the mattress.

“H-how did you get this mattress up here? And where did you find all these pillows? And that projector thing— Did we always have one?” You question referring to the huge screen that was set up in front of you.

The pure shock on your face is enough to send Jungkook into a laughing fit and he can’t help but place a kiss on your lips. God, you’re adorable.

“We’ll talk about that later,” He laughs, busying himself with the movie system he had set up for the night. He puts on the movie the both of you had meant to watch in the cinema 2 weeks ago but a last-minute meeting meant that the two of you had to miss it. Jungkook had pulled every single string he could just to get this movie for his own personal viewing before it’s available to the masses ala pay per view or DVD and he now owes a few too many people a favour or two but it’s all worth it if it’s for you.

“Are you… some kind of miracle worker?” You gasp. “Jungkook seriously… how did you get this movie? Isn’t it still showing in the theatres? How did you do all of this?”

“Through the power of my love for you,” He beams and 3, 2, 1, there it is, the signature scrunch of your nose. He laughs as you scowl at him, mumbling under your breath and he snuggles up closer to you even as you attempt to shove him away. It’s a hobby of Jungkook’s to throw cheesy lines your way because he knows you hate them and by hate them he means he knows you secretly love them.

It’s maybe 15 minutes into the movie when he feels a light drop of water on his cheek. No, no, no. Please no. He thinks maybe if he ignores it, the rain will simply go away. You look up to the sky, putting your palm out to check if that had been rain or you were just imagining it. You don’t stand there thinking for long because the drizzle soon becomes light rain and the two of you are quickly getting up to set away the snacks that Jungkook had laid out. Within seconds, the rain comes pouring down and you’re laughing as you try to wrap everything up into a blanket, quickly rushing into the house as he unplugs the wires, trying to lug both the speakers and the projector indoors.

By the time the two of you are able to get mostly everything into the house, the both of you are absolutely drenched. Though you’ve taken the situation very lightly, laughing as you tried to dry your hair with a towel, Jungkook has decided to sulk in a corner instead.

“Babe, aw come on, lighten up! The night’s not over yet. The movie just started,” You smile as you bring the towel up to wipe away the rainwater on his face.

You set up the movie in the living room as Jungkook dug his hand into the bowl of soggy popcorn, still frowning as he takes his seat next to you, watching the movie with you silently, only daring to speak when the credits begin to roll.

“I had everything planned out,” He sighs. “This has been months in the making,” He sulks.

“And I appreciate it,” You smile. “It was perfect,” You kiss him on the cheek, bringing your thumb up to stroke the apple of his cheek.

“No… I just… this all went down a little differently in my head.”

“Jungkook, I loved every second of tonight. Stop beating yourself up over something you couldn’t control. It was just a little rain.”

“I know but—”

“It was perfect, really. Tonight has been one of the best nights of the year. I had so much fun,” You smile cupping his face with both hands and he still has a small pout on his lips. “I love you so much, you know that? I know I don’t say it as often as most usually do but I really, really love you.”

“But it’s just… Y/N,” He breathes in deeply, his hands removing yours from his face as he sinks to one knee. “I had a whole speech planned out, one that would coincide with the ending of the movie but I’m so nervous, I’ve forgotten everything.”

You see Jungkook on a singular knee his hand holding onto yours softly and your chest tightens.

“You’re everything to me, you really are, and I can’t imagine a day without you. I always look forward to the end of the day because it means I get to come home to you and that’s all I ever want,” He smiles. “Forever.”

You’re staring at him, your eyes almost popping out of your sockets and Jungkook allows himself a few seconds before he asks the question that’s been on his mind for close to a year now.

“I guess what I’m trying to say is… Will you marry me?”

“Jungkook…” Your voice barely audible as you look at the man before you, all teary eyed. “Yes, I— Yes!”

There’s an audible sigh of relief just before you pull him up for a kiss. The smile he has on is unbeatable and he kisses you again and again, almost like he doesn’t believe that you said yes. With shaky hands, he slides the ring onto your finger, letting out a deep breath when he finds that it fits just right.

“Don’t worry, it’s white sapphire, not diamond!” He exclaims as he watches you examine the ring. “Y-you said you hated diamonds so I, uhh got rid of the diamond one I originally bought.”

“What?”

“You told the ladies… you hated diamonds because… you know, slave labour and child labour and—”

“Jungkook, that was… that was just to get them to shut up, I didn’t really mean it… I mean I did but— You bought two rings?”

“Well I bought one, the diamond one… but I made this one,” He murmurs, blushing. “Yeah you can tell can’t you… I know, I should’ve just got it professionally made but I uhh thought it’d make it more special… if I made it but if it’s a little wonky and doesn’t fit well then you know why.”

Jungkook shrinks away, a little embarrassed because he hadn’t really thought about what your reaction would be when he tells you that he had made the ring. In his mind, it was the perfect gift, considering that you were an artist yourself… He thought what way to tell you better that he loves you and appreciates you by giving you something that couldn’t be bought with money, that was one of a kind, not 100% perfect but is filled with love and hard work, something like you.

“You made it? Like physically?”

“Yeah, that’s why I’ve been home late… One of my clients owns a jewelry workshop on the side and when I told her my plan, she offered to help me out.”

You’re crying and Jungkook’s scared because oh god, now you think he’s some cheap asshole who didn’t get you a diamond ring but then he hears you laugh as you wipe away your tears, your hands pulling him in for a hug.

“Y-you don’t like it do you? I’m sorry I—” Jungkook’s stammering, trying hard to salvage the situation and you pull away from him to plant a lingering kiss on his lips just to shut him up, just to tell him you absolutely love it.

There’s a moment of comfortable silence as he watches you examine the ring and he’s biting his lip nervously, hoping you can’t see the flaws as clearly as he does. He doesn’t know but you can’t see the flaws, not even a single one because you’re too busy admiring the fact that Jungkook had (with minimal help) crafted a ring! He had modeled it after the diamond ring he originally bought but… you didn’t need to know that. You murmur words of wonder and amazement beneath your breath and in that second Jungkook thinks it’s worth it. All those late nights, all the moments of pure frustration as he tries to twist the metal in just the right way or moments of pure nervousness as he tries to hide the tiny pricks and cuts on the pads of his fingers from you, it’s all worth it just to see the delight on your face.

“It’s funny,” You smile, as if embarrassed. “The ladies tried to convince me that you were cheating on me and I… I kind of well, was semi-convinced because of the late nights and perfume on your—"

“Cheat? God, Y/N, no, never.”

“I know, I know but it was just…” You murmur looking down at the ring nervously, and he waits for you to continue your sentence or say anything really but Jungkook can see how the main piece of white sapphire seemed to be slightly crooked.

“Listen, i-if you don’t like the ring I can always get you a diamond one again.”

“Jungkook, no,” You laugh, cupping his cheeks. “This is perfect. I love it,” You smile.

The shy smile he gives you makes your heart feel like leaping out of your chest and also melting into a puddle at the same time. For the longest time he only gazes at you, his eyes looking at you as if you are the entire Universe and to him, you are.

“I love you,” He sighs sweetly, turning his head so he could leave a soft kiss on the inside of your palm.

You don’t have to say it back to him, he already knows you do too, but he loves hearing it anyway and when you finally say I love you too between the kisses you pepper him with, he thinks he can’t possibly have a day better than this one in his entire life.

Fortunately, that’s a lie. With you, there came many more days he considers the best day of his life but really with you he couldn’t pick. Okay, no, that’s also a lie. There’s a handful of days he can pick out and he’s really trying to keep himself to a limit here so, he settles on 5 special days, of course, not including the day he got engaged to you.

one

It’s the day or really days right after the two of you get your marriage registered, having called Jimin and his family down to the office with only a few hours’ notice to be witnesses to your marriage. It’s spontaneous, ridiculous, much like your relationship with Jungkook but when he proposed the idea of it the other day, it didn’t take more than a second for you to shrug and say, why not? You should’ve known Jungkook and his spontaneous ideas were never really that spontaneous because he’s standing in front of you, presenting you with an itinerary of just what the two of you were going to do at Ko Lipe, a post-marriage gift, he says. You had on the most adorable expression, one mixed between shock and pure joy before it all fades and you furrow your eyebrows.

“What about work? Don’t you have a lot going on right now?”

“Ahh, I closed all my open-ended deals in the last month just for this… Just for you.”

Ugh, even he cringes at how goddamn cheesy he is when he’s talking to you but it’s almost as if his mouth had a mind of its own sometimes. You hum at that, pursing your lips so your smile wouldn’t show. He must’ve planned this months in advance. Spur of the moment thing my ass, you scoff mentally, but it’s more of a you’re-such-a-thoughtful-dork-and-I-love-you kind of scoff rather than a mean-spirited one. How does he always seem to know that your answer to any of his ‘spontaneous’ decisions will always be yes?

“So, you’re saying we’re going to have a week’s worth of privacy? No phone calls to interrupt us? Just you and me?”

“Just you and me,” He nods. “I’m leaving my work phone at home, see!” He pulls the drawer of the side table to show you the handphone that’s usually glued to his ear.

“No! I mean don’t do that… What if something goes wrong at work?”

“Then Jimin can deal with it,” He smiles.

You stand there thinking if it really is a good idea to just up and leave the country when you had found both you and him plastered across the gossip section of every major news outlet and magazine this morning, the mere mention of the two of you getting married enough to cause an online frenzy. It’s the story everyone’s ever wanted, the Jeon and Y/L/N rivalry finally put to an end by love. Except, both you and Jungkook know the truth, both your fathers and perhaps even brothers will forever be at loggerheads, even more so now that the Jeons were behind bars.

“Come on babe,” He whines. “It’ll be our very own island adventure!” He exclaims, placing a pair of sunglasses on for you and a straw sun hat on himself. 

“You’ll get me to go even if I do say no, won’t you?” You laugh and he winks at you because it’s the truth. He already had your bags packed… which would explain why you couldn’t find your favourite pair of shorts this morning.

Just like that, you’re whisked off to Ko Lipe, in a private jet he had borrowed from one of his clients. The press back home is having a field day, everyone wondering just where the two people the public want to see the most have disappeared to. You look down to your phone to see multiple missed calls from your parents and your siblings as reporter after reporter show up at your family’s residence, badgering them for comments. They didn’t know what to tell the press because well, they weren’t informed of the whole marriage registration debacle themselves!

All of that is the last thing that’s on your mind as you bury your toes in the sand, gazing out into the vast ocean blue. You aren’t given much thinking time anyway as Jungkook drags you out to do any form of extreme water sports that the private resort offers. Be it parasailing or going for one of those jet ski tours to the remote neighbouring islands and caves, it’s like you don’t even have time to catch your breath before he’s pulling you to the sign-up booth, looking for something else to do.

I, Island, Ko Lipe. The answer to the I of DIADEM, the family code that comes to you naturally no matter how long it’s been since you’ve been forced to recite it. It’s a thought that comes to you in passing as you’re laid out on a deck chair, finally being able to rest after Jungkook’s daily dose of adrenaline inducing adventures. This place, this island means so much to you and it means so much to Jungkook too. It’s been years since you’ve been back here, perhaps even longer for Jungkook and every single day spent here has been like a dream. You remember this island to be a place where you finally felt like you belonged in your family and you’re glad that now that you’re here again you don’t just ‘feel’ like you belong to a family, you know you’re part of a family, because right next to you is the man you’re going to marry, technically you already have. He smiles at you when he catches you staring at him, blowing you an obnoxious kiss just so he can see you scowl at him. 

You hope he feels the same way you do, hope that he knows you can’t ever replace the love his mother has for him, can’t replace the memories he has of this island when he was much younger, exploring the island as his mother chased after him but you hope he allows this trip, the numerous moments you’ve had with him to add on to the fact that this island will always be special to him. If only you knew you didn’t have to hope. Jungkook’s already committed to documenting every single moment of this trip, having had taken an unreal number of photos along with hours upon hours of footage just so he could look back on it all whenever he wanted to because he feels this whole week has been the best damn week of his life.

two

The two of you return home after a rather exhausting yet refreshing week at Ko Lipe. The press has seemingly forgotten about the two of you or have simply given up on trying to locate either of you. Jungkook spends most of the week working from home and you decide against leaving the mountains at all, neither of you wanting to deal with a publicity shitstorm. It’s perhaps months after, when the two of you know that you’re definitely in the clear that you decide to send out invitations to your wedding, a relatively small one with no less than 50 people that’s slated to happen in the backyard, next to the lake. To be fair, most of the attendees were going to be the people from town, the only outsiders would be your family and Jimin and his family. Jungkook adamant as he is, refuses to extend an invitation to his step-mother, unwilling to forgive the fact that she had allowed his father and brother to go to the lengths they did in order to try and be level with Y/L/N Logistics. You don’t argue with him, respecting that it was his decision to make and honestly, regarding your own family, you aren’t quite sure if they are actually going to show up considering the fact that you hadn’t personally called them back after the whole out of the blue marriage registration fiasco, only sending them a text to confirm that yes, you had indeed decided to marry Jungkook.

The wedding day comes faster than Jungkook could have imagined and suddenly he’s sweating nervously as he stands at the end of the aisle, the guests rising from their seats as the wedding march begins to play. The ceremony is simple yet elegant, only a small flower arch at the end of the aisle and 50 white chairs at either side of the white carpet. Every single seat is occupied, all except one because it’s Jimin who stands beside you, arm linked with yours as you walk down the aisle. Your breath almost gets caught in your throat when you spot your family amidst the crowd. The blank faces on you father, mother and brother tells you that it must’ve been your sister that had dragged all 3 of them here. You send her an appreciative smile because though growing up in that house with your family hadn’t been great, you still do in fact share the same blood and you still do love them, despite their flaws. 

You look forward when you hear Jimin let out a light laugh, and this time it’s like your breath is taken away when you finally lay eyes on your soon to be husband. He stands tall in a classic suit, looking dapper and handsome as always. You can see the way Jungkook has already started to tear up and you guess that’s why Jimin had been laughing but truth be told, you were on the verge of tears yourself. Jungkook feels almost light headed when he sees you standing next to him because you look unreal, absolutely gorgeous in all white. Your dress isn’t the princess type with a long train but it’s a rather modest one, a simple number that seemed to drape over your body perfectly, hugging you in just the right places but more than that, it’s your face, like you’re almost glowing and Jungkook’s heart picks up it’s pace because the day he has been dreaming of is finally here and he keeps thinking that he must be the luckiest man alive to finally (almost) officially be able to spend the rest of his life with you.

The crowd coos as Buster makes his way down the aisle, the small box containing the rings attached to his collar. He’s clearly enjoying the attention because he stops to pose for photos, almost stealing the show! But, he makes it to the end in timely fashion, stopping next to Jimin so he could detach the box from the collar. Nervously, both you and Jungkook take the rings from the box.

Jungkook starts with his vows first and his voice cracks when he starts, almost unable to hold back the impending tears. He clears his throat with a laugh before he looks up to gaze at you, telling you that he hopes you know that by marrying him you’re going to have to live with the fact that he always seems to fart up a storm every morning and that although he apologizes for it, it’s something he can’t control, and he hopes it’s something you won’t leave him for once he’s old and gray, and out of money.

Jungkook doesn’t even have to look at the paper he has in his hand because he already knows what he wants to tell you by heart. Aside from his mother, you are the only person that sees him for who he is, for who he can be and who he wanted to be. You bring out the best in him and with you by his side, he truly thinks he’d be able to do anything. He promises you a life full of adventure, happiness and genuine love because you deserved the world and he was going to give you everything he could. 

You regret choosing to go second because now you’re forced to wipe away your tears while you read out your vows, because really, how could you listen to Jungkook speak like that and not cry. When you begin, you’re stammering and Jungkook offers you a soft smile before reaching out to gently wipe away a stray tear or two. You let out a deep exhale, abandoning the piece of paper that you had worked day and night on because the words on there just weren’t good enough to explain how grateful you are for the man before you. All you really want to say is that you’re so glad that Jungkook loves you wholeheartedly for who you are, and you promise to love him the same. The world has always told the both of you that the pair of you just aren’t destined to be but to hell with that. You believed in creating your own fate, your own destiny and you’ll be damned if Jungkook wasn’t a part of that. If soulmates exist, you are quite sure that he is yours. He knows you inside and out, perhaps even better than yourself and you know you’d never want to spend your life in the arms of another for he truly is your escape. You tell him that you only hope to be his too and he laughs shaking his head and utters 7 words that has your heart flip-flopping in your chest.

“You’re not my escape,” He smiles. “You’re my home.”

When the two of you finally slide on the ring on each other’s finger, there’s cheers that ring around the backyard, Buster barking excitedly as the two of you share the first kiss of your official ceremonially confirmed marriage. There isn’t a person in attendance that feels bitter about the marriage, not even your family despite the unreadable expression on their faces. Truth be told, they’re happy for you. You deserved better, more than they’ve ever given you, they were human enough to admit that and they’re glad that you finally have someone that can give you everything they never did.

When the ceremony is all over and done with, it’s just an hour before sun down, enough time for the two of you to change out of your respective outfits for something more comfortable. A short drive later, you find yourself with your hand intertwined with Jungkook’s as the two of you sat by the grave of his mother, listening as he tells her about the day, tells her he wishes she was here. You let your other hand rest on top of his and you tell her thank you, thank you for giving birth to the man that you love so much and that you intend to care for him, like she had, until the end of time.

three

The story of special day number three starts perhaps almost two years into the marriage, almost 6 months before said day. You’re sat at the table with Jungkook, friendly conversation going around between the other people seated at the table. It’s the anniversary of the founding of the town and every single resident has found themselves at the local square to celebrate, eat and drink the day away. You’re looking further off in the distance, having zoned out of the lovely little discussion that was going on around you to look at the children running circles around each other, giggling and talking amongst each other, your gaze ever so warm and fond.

“Do you think you’ll ever want any of your own?” The lady beside you asks and Jungkook perks up to listen to your reply, knowing the answer to this question full well because he’s asked you once or twice before when you’re cuddled up next to him in bed.

“No, they’re too much work,” You laugh and the lady laughs along with you agreeing to your statement. Everyone thinks it’s true, that you don’t want children of your own because they’re messy and loud but Jungkook knows better, knows the look in your eyes whenever you look at them from afar, it’s one that people have when they’re looking at something they can’t have. Jungkook thinks that it has to do with your childhood, that your parents, no matter how much you refuse to admit it have scarred you so deeply that you can’t possibly fathom having a child on the off chance that in a moment of anger, you would say something to your child that was remotely similar to what your parents had said to you over and over again over the course of your childhood. People often say that children will take after their parents when they’re older and if anything, that is your worst nightmare, to become the people who had caused you so much hurt.

Jungkook joins in the conversation, nodding that the two of you simply wouldn’t have time for a child, which is a lie because Jungkook would do anything to make sure he has time for his child, if he had one that is. But he lies, lies for you because he knows what will follow after if he doesn’t say anything. They’ll badger you with questions like: But who will look after you when you’re old if you have no children? Do you hate children? Are you sure you’ll never want them? He prefers to take the brunt of it, letting them know that he wouldn’t know the first thing about being a father but of course that’s a lie too. Jungkook knows just what kind of father he would be. He would be everything his father wasn’t.

It’s exactly 5 months and 3 weeks since that dinner, since you had that conversation that made your stomach churn, which actually is quite funny since your stomach has been doing a lot of that lately even without having been asked the classic question of why you haven’t thought about having children yet.

You refuse to think about it, refuse to admit that certain smells, one that are completely normal, like the fudge brownies that you usually bake suddenly makes you feel like throwing up or the fact that you had literally forced Jungkook to drive you to the city in the middle of the night because your fried chicken craving was driving you insane.

Something at the back of your mind tells you that these are classic signs of… of… you don’t even want to say it because maybe if you didn’t, it wouldn’t be true. You think back to the past two weeks or so, acknowledging that yes, maybe you had allowed Jungkook to forgo the condom but that’s because you had been on the pill, right?! Not like you had missed a day or two in the past week, right?! Not like your period isn’t on time this month, right?! You wondered how many more lies you could tell yourself until you would have to drive down to the pharmacy in the city to pick up, you know, that special stick? The answer is not many because in just a few hours you’re in your bathroom with the stick in hand, wondering if you were supposed to pee on it sitting down? Standing up? Did it matter? You let out an annoyed groan before reaching into the box to pull out the instructions.

Two blue lines stare back at you and you let out a small scream. You pee on another stick… or maybe 5… just to be sure, you know? And now you’re looking down at 6 sticks that tell you the same thing… that you’re, that you’re… you can’t even bring yourself to say it.

You stuff everything into the plastic bag from the pharmacy, keeping at least one stick because… you had to tell Jungkook right? You keep the test somewhere in the back of your closet, beneath a pile of clothes, trying to form sentences in your head, wondering how the news would sit with him but first, you needed to accept reality and somehow you just refuse to.

You’re skittish around Jungkook for the next few days and though he notices it, he doesn’t bring it up because usually when he gives you time, you’ll let him know whatever it is that’s on your mind. He thinks you’re upset with him, waiting for him to figure out whatever it is without telling him and he’s trying so hard, running through every single thing he had done over the past week just to see if he could find whatever it is that he had done wrong. Was it because he forgot to flush the toilet that one day? It is isn’t it?

It’s the day, D-day, you proclaim. It has been a full week since you’ve taken the test and you’ve had exactly 7 days to think of what to say. You think a short speech would suffice… butter him up first and then apologize for missing the pill or something… but it’s not that part you’re really worried about, you sigh. It’s the fact that you’re going to have to raise a human being and you know Jungkook won’t say no to the idea, in fact you know he’ll be ecstatic, but he hasn’t thought it over like you. You’re not worried about the finances, or the fact that you’ll be incapable of loving the child, because you’ll do nothing but love your child, cherish them, but you’re worried your child won’t love you back or that Jungkook wouldn’t either because… you’re you and you’re flawed in the worst possible way, in a way that you couldn’t change even if you tried.

You’re so busy thinking that you hadn’t heard Jungkook come through the front door and you quickly stuff the pregnancy test behind you, between the pillows on the couch you were sitting on.

“Y/N, babe, listen,” Jungkook smiles nervously as he takes a seat beside you on the couch, loosening the tie around his neck. “I know you’re upset with me but I swear I thought I flushed the toilet—”

“I’m pregnant,” You blurt out and you immediately shut your eyes because fuck you were supposed to shower him with compliments first! Tell him that it had been an honest mistake, that you had forgotten that you had missed a pill that week when you told him he didn’t need the condom.

“You’re pregnant,” He murmurs, and you let out a sigh, an apology on the tip of your tongue when you look at him, his eyebrows furrowed together as if he had never heard the word before. “You’re pregnant!” He repeats, his face somewhere between shock and joy as it finally dawns on him why you’ve been acting so weird lately. A large smile finds it way onto Jungkook’s face and he’s about to engulf you in a hug, pick you up and swing you around in his arms but then he sees the way your bottom lip wobbles and suddenly there’s a stream of tears rolling down your cheeks. He’s stunned for a second because wait, was that not the reaction you had wanted from him?

“Babe… Hey, Y/N… What’s wrong?” He quickly asks, scooting closer towards you so he can hold you close, wipe away your tears. You’re only shaking your head, sobbing so hard that it makes Jungkook’s heart break into two. He lets you take your time, simply gripping your hand when you produce the pregnancy test from behind the pillows, the two lines showing that you are indeed, pregnant.

“What if… what if,” You hiccup, sobs chopping up your sentence. “What if our baby’s a 4?”

Oh, ohhh, Jungkook understands now, realizes just why you’re crying.

“You’re going to end up hating me and our baby will too,” You mumble, picturing just what it’ll be like, complete silence in your house, absolute distaste burning behind Jungkook’s eyes when the number begins to glow above your child’s head.

“I…,” Jungkook’s at a complete loss of words, unable to comprehend just why you’d think that. “I’d never hate you,” He says rather sternly, as if he’s upset that you’d ever think that.

He catches it, the look on your face, one that says you didn’t believe him at all. It’s because he doesn’t know, you sigh, doesn’t understand what it’s like and you’ve experienced it one too many times, how people accept you at first despite your number but one by one, they all seem to leave you in the dust.

“Nothing will ever stop me from loving you… nothing,” He breathes, bringing up his hand to stroke your cheek, imploring for you to look at him. “Do you understand that?”

You neither nod or shake your head, your eyes simply downcast as you fiddle nervously with the pregnancy test in your hand.

“Whatever our baby’s number is, even if it’s a damn zero, I’m gonna love our baby all the same,” He smiles, prying the pregnancy test out of your hand so he can hold yours. “And I will always, always love you. That will never change.”

This time, you give him a little nod which makes him smile and he uses his thumb to rub comforting circles to the back of your palm.

“What if.. what if our baby hates me?” You frown. “I don’t want our baby to go through what I did, Kook,” You sigh, your shoulders drooping down as you refer to your painful childhood, the fact that you were viewed as if you were like scum simply because you had a single digit number. You don’t want to bring another human being into the world just for them to feel nothing but pain.

“Our baby won’t,” He reassures you, his tone strong and sure as if he was promising you that, but you know he can’t change what others would think of your child. “You and I are going to love our child so much that the sun is going to shine out of their ass because all they’ll ever know is love,” He smiles. “And, I’ll fight everyone and anyone who tries to hurt them or you, you hear me?”

You let out a light laugh, appreciating how Jungkook could make you feel better no matter the pain you feel in your chest and you smile at him affectionately. He takes the chance to press a light kiss to your cheek as if to let you know that he understands how hard this must be for you, that you must’ve been going over these thoughts again and again for some time now. The smile you have fades as quickly as it came though and he sees you lick the corner of your lips, tears threatening to reappear again.

“I… I won’t force you to… you know have a child,” He whispers, his hand giving yours a short squeeze. “It’s up to you love.”

“No, I want to keep it,” You answer almost instantaneously.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Jungkook tries to hide his excitement but he does a horrible job of it because he’s quite literally bouncing in his seat.

“I’m so happy, I really am,” He smiles before he calms down considerably, letting out a deep exhale as he placed his hand on your cheek to get your attention. “Listen I… I want this but only if you do. Don’t just say yes because you think that’s what I want you to say.”

“No, no,” You laugh. “I want this, I do.”

You really did, and maybe you just needed to hear that Jungkook was going to be with you every step of the way, that your child, no matter what, won’t have a childhood that’s anywhere close to yours.

“We’re having a baby,” He murmurs, almost as if he was talking to himself, then he turns to you. “You and me, our own little human!”

He’s so endearing it makes your heart hurt. He presses a kiss to your lips, something he had been wanting to do since you had uttered the two words that has made this day one of the best days in his life. He tells you again and again that he loves you and you tell him the same, thinking you’ll never grow tired of him, of his love. It’s a thought that begins to falter later on during the pregnancy because it’s as if your child is having a fucking karate lesson in your belly, kicking non-stop, especially when you wanted to sleep. Sometimes you almost feel like strangling Jungkook, wanting to scream at him because it’s his fault! He did this to you! He was the reason there’s a baby in your stomach but he pacifies you with fried chicken, even if it’s 3 am in the morning so, you let him live to fight another day. To be honest, this whole pregnancy thing scares Jungkook a little because sometimes you were moody, downright scary but he can only try his best to make the whole carrying a child in your belly thing less stressful by massaging your feet. For the most part, watching your stomach grow with size has been entertaining and he makes sure to take a picture each week just because and usually it’s a relatively ordinary process but one time you beckon him over, making him lie next to you.

“Watch this,” You smile as you lay on the bed.

He’s staring at your belly curiously, unsure what he’s supposed to be looking for because he sees it every day, leaves a light kiss on it all the time. Then he sees it, your belly moving as if there’s something growing inside and he lets out a light yelp. You laugh uncontrollably as Jungkook stares with his mouth agape. Of course, he knew you were pregnant, that you had a baby growing inside of you but yet he hadn’t really comprehended that until now. He whips out his phone just to record it because do people know babies do that? He didn’t. He wonders what Jimin would think of it.

“Okay, now go get me some fried chicken,” You command after having had enough of Jungkook rubbing his palm over your belly, just to be sure that it was your belly that was moving and not just him imagining it.

“Yes ma’am,” He answers with a salute.

four

Jungkook wishes he has more to say about this day but to be fair, he felt like he wasn’t even fully present on the day himself because he was genuinely about to shit himself when you told him your water had broke. He rushed you to the hospital, not forgetting to grab the bag that the two of you had already packed in advance, knowing that this day was approaching.

As you go through labour pains, you grip his hand, hard and Jungkook swears he might have a hairline fracture on a finger or two because boy did you have a grip but he understands and it’s a small price he’s willing to pay considering it isn’t him that is pushing out a human out of his damn body.

When he hears the first cry, his heart almost stops beating and then starts beating at twice it’s normal speed when the doctor turns to him to speak.

“Would you like to carry her?”

Her! A baby girl! Which he already knows from the ultrasounds early on in the pregnancy but still! Anyway, back to the question, would he like to carry her? Yes. No. Yes. No. What if he drops her?

“I’m uhh, not sure how to carry—”

The doctor laughs softly before he gives instructions to Jungkook like he has to many new fathers. Jungkook sways his crying child in his arms cooing at her as you look up at him with tired eyes. Even in your exhaustion, you manage a few tears, a lot less compared to Jungkook who’s kind of almost sobbing in the operation theatre.

_________, He murmurs the name the two of you had decided weeks ago. It fit her perfectly, he thinks, even if at this point, all babies look the same to him.

It’s the best day of his life… or at least one of, he smiles. He cradles his little baby in his arms for a few more seconds before he steps closer to you, letting you hold your child for the first time. A family, he sighs. A real one. And he was going to make it the best damn one.

five

Jungkook is cautious with his daughter at first because she’s tiny, fragile and he’s afraid he might break her by just touching her but his heart becomes goo in his chest whenever he sees her fidget in the crib, kick out her tiny little feet or you know just… breathe in general. He’s absolutely whipped for his child and why shouldn’t he be? He loves her and thinks she’s the cutest baby to ever exist and he doesn’t care if the lady in town says all parents think that their child is the cutest because she’s wrong, his child is the cutest, ever, no question about it… even if she’s the reason he gets exactly 0.2 hours of sleep every night. He won’t lie, parenting is extremely exhausting and he’s fought with you over these past months more than ever but in the end it’s all worth it when she’s asleep in the crib and he drags himself back to bed to cuddle with you.

Watching _________ grow up is magical to him. From the day she manages to sit up, to the day she manages to murmur things, to the day she takes her first steps with absolutely no help at all (which he managed to record!), every single milestone makes Jungkook smile until his cheeks begin to ache. He simply can’t believe that he has a child, often pointing down to her in the crib before looking at you to say, we made that! To which your reply is often, yeah, and I did most of the work, which he admits is true but still, the child is half him, he often reminds you.

He loves his daughter with everything he has and would completely spoil her if it wasn’t for you who was there to keep him in check and he thinks he’s done absolutely everything he could to make sure she knows that he loves her and yet, she still hasn’t said the thing he wishes to hear the most. She’s a 98, just like him which honestly, came as a surprise to both you and him but despite the matching number, she doesn’t do what he expects of her, doesn’t say what he’s been hoping to hear for a while now.

It’s frustrating for Jungkook but in all of her 7-ish months of life, she’s said a grand total of 3 words, that being,

Doggy, because Buster, he’s just a charmer. From babies to old ladies, he had ‘em all in the palm of his… paws.

Yum, often repeated twice, was codeword for I’m hungry and you better feed me before I start screaming.

And the one he was the least happy about,

Mama

You could see the pure disappointment on his face when his daughter uttered it not once, not twice but three times in a row as she stretched her hands outwards, wanting to be carried.

“I’ll carry you!” Jungkook exclaims. “You just have to say it! Say dad!” He instructs her but she simply turns away, looking at you as you swoop her up into your hands.

He repeats the word ‘Dad’ to her like a goddamn parrot, day in, day out, hoping that one day she would repeat after him, but she doesn’t. Jungkook’s given up hope, stops trying after weeks of saying the same word over and over, silently waiting for the day his daughter acknowledges him.

Luckily for him, the day comes not too long after when it’s a summer day where Jungkook is lazing around on the carpet, his daughter laying atop his chest, taking a nap. He has his hands beneath his head, eyes slowly fluttering as he feels himself drifting off to sleep but he’s startled awake when he feels his daughter move groggily on his chest letting out a few whines.

“_______, are ya awake?”

More whines before she’s rubbing at her eyes sleepily.

He places his hands on her, gently stroking her back as her eyes finally flutter open and a light smile finds it’s way onto Jungkook’s lips. It’s a miracle she isn’t crying like she usually does when she wakes up from her nap. She stares curiously at him as if there were a thousand thoughts going through her adorably tiny head.

“Dada.”

Jungkook stops breathing for a second and his mouth hangs open, in shock.

“Dada,” She repeats.

“Y/N!!!!” He screams, picking off _______ from his chest. “Get your phone!”

“What?” You call from the kitchen, your tone almost nonchalant as if Jungkook wasn’t witnessing the most important moment of his life right now.

“Your phone! Now!” He shouts as he scrambles to his feet, cradling _______ against him.

He makes his way to the kitchen to find you still busy, looking through the fridge, having absolutely no urgency to comply to Jungkook’s request. He stops right in front of you and you look up at him confused.

“Say it,” He coos, looking at _______.

She only gazes at him curiously, not understanding what he’s saying because of course, she’s a toddler.

“Doggy,” She replies, pointing to Buster who had just walked into the kitchen and you laugh boisterously when Jungkook’s face crumples in hurt.

“Jungkook,” You snort. “Leave her alone, won’t you? She’ll say dad someday… Just be patient.”

“She said it! I swear she did!” He exclaims. “Twice!”

“Yeah, sure she did,” You scoff.

“Did too!” He grumbles before turning to _______ . “Dad. Say it, say dad,” He coos, and you bring a palm to your face because here he goes agai—

“Dada.”

“Ha! Won’t you look at that!!!” He’s practically jumping and if he wasn’t carrying her, he would’ve probably done a summersault, a cartwheel, maybe even a damn split.

“Who’s your favourite parent? It’s me isn’t it?” He smiles down at _______.

“Please,” You laugh. “She’s only said it onc—”

“Dada!”

“Yeah, you’re right! That’s me! I’m dada! And you love me more than mama don’t you?”

“Dada,” Is her reply and Jungkook’s screaming internally because wow, what a day today is. The best day of his life. It’s the best damn day.

You want to be mad at Jungkook for being so annoying but again, it’s like he’s a huge man child and he’s so stupidly endearing that you can’t do anything but laugh.

“It’s okay, Y/N. Don’t be upset,” He smiles. “You’ve held the title of favourite parent for far too long okay? It’s time I had my chance.”

You only nod at him, giving him his moment of glory, pecking him on the cheek because how can you resist a man who argues with you about whether your daughter loves you or him more when your parents barely acknowledged your existence.

It’s been a simple day, a relatively normal day, at least for you… Jungkook would have something else to say about today but just like him, you concur that it’s one of the best days of your life because life isn’t really about the grand, great things to you, it’s about the simple things. It’s about how right now, you have a husband that loves you unconditionally and a daughter that you love unconditionally and really, that’s more than you could ever ask for. You no longer live each day, wishing the misery would end rather you live each day, embracing the love and happiness that you find around you. That isn’t to say every single day is just sunshine and rainbows, of course there are bad ones, many in fact, because life isn’t perfect but the good outweighs the bad and that’s all you’ve ever wanted.

Maybe life hasn’t played out the way you’ve always wanted it to, the family residence you called your home for so many years was still cold and unloving but life is about growing, about changing and if you had done neither maybe you wouldn’t have felt a world of hurt when everything seemed to have crumbled around you years ago but neither would you be feeling an unrivaled amount of happiness today, having Jungkook tease you over the fact that your daughter had switched allegiances, that he is in fact, the favourite parent to her. He’s insufferable, he truly is but maybe Jungkook was right when he gazed upon you as you finished saying your vows to him, the 7 word sentence he uttered at the altar still one of your favourite things he has ever said to you because it’s true, he isn’t your escape, he is your home.

p.s: wew it’s the end! this time for real! thank you all for reading!!! it’s been such a journey (’:

p.p.s: the explanation for why the daughter has a 98 is that technically the oc’s number is really high too because she’s a twin remember? (like flashback to chapter 7). Twins are special and it’s kinda known that they in general have really high numbers… just that in the mc’s case, it was unfortunate that the sister did not survive and hence the number couldn’t be re-balanced. also, about oc finding out about her twin… well, maybe in the distant future when one of her parents passes away…

I hope this epilogue answers all your questions but if you have any other questions, I’d be happy to answer!!! (like honestly really happy so ask away!) Thank you all so much for reading escape (‘:

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4 // Part 5  // Part 6 // Part 6.5 // Part 7 // Part 8 // Part 9

[piduai]

Sorachi’s comments on characters from Gintama-kun no ayumi (the rest) [remastered]

part 1 & 2 with preface part 3 & 4 part 5, 6 & 7

Hakkekyuu Ou (Leukocyte King):  I just wanted to play Dragon Quest so he was born. - 50 points  

Jiraia: My idea of a ninja is of someone not just simply cool, but someone who ominously uses their own body as a weapon, someone who deliberately disposes of their very humanity, this kind of eccentric being. I wanted to make him into someone who has this kind of bizarre vibe to him, but I’m worried he just turned out into another pervert. - 65 points

Ketsuno Seimei: Goes without saying that he was based off Abe no Seimei. I’m often asked why in all the sibling relationships in Gintama there seems to be a brother complex going on, but if you look into the siblings setting of manga you’ll find a brother complex in most of them. - 70 points

Gedoumaru:  Actually Gedomaru was the birth name for Shuten-doji of Ooe Mountain, the demon who was exorcised by Kintaro. Making her tag along with Gintoki, who was based off Kintaro, was making a dream duo come true to me - 100 points

Pandemonium: I was told that Pandemonium-san is the most gorgeous out of Gintama’s pretty girls, and because she was perceived so well, ever since she appeared, the other girls’ eyelashes have gained in weight too. Pandemonium-san’s debut has changed the very history of Gintama. She is indispensable, so. - 100 points

Doromizu Jirocho: Most of Gintama’s male characters are useless but I think it’s not the case for Jirocho-kun. He’s a continuous case of “if you have so much stuff on your mind, just spit it out” isn’t he. Normally, you don’t stab old hags. The shyness comes in variety. But he’s cool, so. - 80 points

Chin Pirako: I was planning on making her an annoying and obnoxious kind of girl, untypical for Gintama, but in the end she turned out to be a truly good girl*. The principle of Doraemon Gian movies isn’t it. - 85 points *he used the word “musume”, which can mean either girl or daughter. could have meant that she turned out to be a great daughter, up to interpretation but i tend to believe it’s this version.

Two Years Later arc characters: To be completely honest, time-skip Gin-san and Kagura made me feel completely burnt out. - 50 points

Sasaki Isaburo: Mimawarigumi was thought out as this elite group opposing the thug-like police and the Shinsengumi without having a certain character design in mind so I had to improvise. Isaburo-kun was initially supposed to be sporting a silk hat and a cane, but since the concept was the opposition to the Shinsengumi, i settled for what we have now. - 85 points

Imai Nobume: This one time I was late with the deadline and I sent in a manuscript that didn’t have anything inked in and all was white. In that very chapter, by chance, Nobume-san has said something like “to hell with white and black”, thus splendidly turning my mistake into a joke, so. - 100 points

Sakata Kintoki: To be honest I just wanted to be able to use the title “Kintama*”. Yet the poor guy got his own b*lls ripped off and made to star into a weird love comedy. - 90 points *everyone knows by know im sure, but just in case - kintama means testicles

Oboro: Since Tendoshuu are slow in their deeds, I made them, the Tenshoin Naraku, work as their executive force. If you think of Tenshoin Naraku = Tendoshuu, it’s easier to understand. - 70 points

Yoshida Shouyo: He looks kindhearted and gentle at the first glance, yet all of his students have uttered “my regards to sensei when you meet him in hell”. Now why is everything about their mentor so vague? - 70 points

Obi Hajime: He’s an older brother figure different from Sakata-kun. I regret that I couldn’t draw these two older brothers together a little more. - 75 points

Ikeda Asaemon: There are about 3 patterns when drawing Gintama characters, but in Asaemon’s case I went out of my way to base her on a celebrity. So, to Goriki-san. - 100 points

Mutsu: Considering her little panel time, Mutsu-san is quite popular, and taking Tatsuma-kun’s character into account, I had suspicion she’s no regular human from way before. But even I was surprised when she turned out to be Yato. I’m glad i made her wear that hat at all times. - 75 points

Saito Shimaru: I just was very into Ryuu ga Gotoku Ishin back then - 30 points

[officersmackbooty]

dare you to do 1-30 ALLLLL the gay asks muhahahahaa

IF YOU SAY SO LMAO1. describe your idea of a perfect date•uhhhh this is impossible for me bc i have a list of dates i wanna do and they’re all VASTLY different from each other but i guess making out or cuddling in a blanket nest/blanket fort would be pretty cool lmao

2. whats your “type”•e m o b o y s

3. do you want kids?•idk right now?

4. if you do, will you adopt or use some other form of child birth?•adopt

5. describe the cutest date you’ve ever been on•honestly i’ve never been on a real date that i would count as cute??

6. describe your experience having sex for the first time (were you nervous? or was it easy peasy?)•never had sex soo 🤷‍♂️

7. are you a morning time gay or night time gay?•nighttime

8. opinion on nap dates?•BEAUTIFUL AND SHOULD BE CHERISHED

9. opinion on brown eyes?•they used to be beautiful, until two certain people with brown eyes came along and destroyed me

10. dog gay or cat gay?•CAT

11. would you ever date someone who owned rodents or reptiles?•ya!!

12. whats a turn off you look for before you start officially dating someone•bad hygiene

13. what is a misconception you had about lgb people before you realized you were one?•they all knew and dated each other (i was like 8 when i thought that bc i came out at like 10? LMAO)

14. what is a piece of advice you would give to your younger self•it’s okay to explore your gender too. talk to mom. she’ll come around to it. i promise.

15. (if attracted to more than one gender) do you have different “types” for different genders?•not really??

16. who is an ex you regret?•HAAAAAAA call out to chava!!!!! fuck you!!!

17. night club gay or cafe gay?•cafe

18. who is one person you would “go straight” for•im bi

19. video game gay, book gay, or movie gay?•all of themmmm

20. favourite gay ship (canon or not)•i dont really ship???

21. favourite gay youtuber•i dont watch gay youtubers or youtubers all that much in general?

22. have you ever unknowingly asked out a straight person?•nope

23. have you ever been in love?•yup

24. have you ever been heartbroken?•yup

25. how do you determine if you want to be them or be with someone•uhhh buddy i cant even figure this one out myself

26. favourite lgb musician/band•uhhhhh idk

27. what is a piece of advice you have for young / baby gays•dont be afraid to reach out. whether it’s online or in your community! there are always people willing to help you, especially if you think you’re in a dangerous situation.

28. are you out? if so how did you come out•i’ve come out so much idk where you want me to start. i came out as queer to my mom when i came out as trans (over a year ago) by messaging her lmao

29. what is the most uncomfortable / strange coming out experience you have •my grandma telling me she never saw signs of me being trans l o l

30. what is a piece of advice for people who may not be in a safe place to express their sexuality•i’m not in a place to be giving advice about this because i’ve always been in a safe place to express my sexuality, sorry yall :(( my advice would be pretty useless bc i wouldnt be able to speak from any experience.

[writing-in-riverdale]

Protective | archie andrews

a/n: please please request ideas for short series or one shots!! i like to cater to you guys and sometimes you really do come up with some cool ideas!! love always R🌹

as the years went on you’d think bullying and slut shaming was a thing of the past, you were sadly mistaken. in fact it seemed to get worse and more and more creative as the times went on.

i obliviously walked into school head held higher than normal as i spot Betty and Veronica standing near my locker, smiling brightly i approach them a little bounce in my step as I over to them.

“hey”

i gawk smiling like an idiot, i had my very first date last night with one Reggie Mantle and you think it went rather well. we had a meal at pops and then went to the drive in to watch a movie where we stuffed our faces with junk food and spent the night cuddled up in the back of his truck with some small make out sessions before he dropped me home just before curfew.

I was still grinning, the gang wasn’t very thrilled with the idea of me going they said that he was a stupid football jock that just wanted to get into my pants and last night just proves that they were wrong - for once.

my smile fades as i glance at their concerned expression, i grab my books and close my locker as they glance from their phones to others loitering in the halls before first period before finally glancing at me.

“what?” i laugh glancing the hall to see many eyes on me, i spot Archie his expression the same as the girls.

“okay what the hell happened”

i ask breaking the silence, tapping my fingers against my books growing impatience at their lack of emotions and words.

“will someone please tell me what’s going on!”

i practically yell, Veronica glances at her phone again and i snatch it from her grasp as the red headed boy stops in front of us mumbling a small greeting.

i glance at the phone and see that the photo Reggie had taken off me last night in the drive in cuddle up to him, only he’d modified the picture and photoshopped maple syrup running down my face.

“oh my god” i say my breathe catching in my throat i click on the comments and instantly regret it the words ‘slut’ ‘ugly’ 'whore’ 'attention seeking’ came up regularly along with comments about my weight and seemed liked everything else 'what a freak’ i give Veronica back her phone and sniffle tears pricking my eyes.

I look up to see Betty and Veronica staring me down

“do it say it!! okay 'i told you so’ okay I get it”

the girls shake their heads scrambling for words to comfort me

“forget it” i whisper pushing past them

“(y/n)” i hear archie call but I ignore him keeping my head down as i rush to class, everyone laughing and sharing comments as I pass.

i round the corner and slam into a body, we bump heads and i cuss grabbing my fallen bag and glances to see Jughead concern etched on his face “I saw the picture are you okay?” i sigh sniffling.

“no” i whisper

he places his hand on my shoulder rubbing it soothingly “i didn’t even do anything juggie- Archie’s and the others are just itching to tell me that they were right- again!”

“it’s okay- we know it’s not true. people believe what they want okay you-” jughead tries to soothe me running his hands up and down my arms.

“jughead” we both look up to see the smug look of Reggie

my blood boils and I shove his chest “i can’t believe you” i spit tearing up at the sight of him.

“what’s wrong baby?” he coos placing his hand tenderly on my shoulder i shudder at his touch and rip my shoulder from his grasp “don’t touch me reggie!” i warn.

he steps forward and jughead stands in front of me protectively, he laughs clapping his hands looking to his boys standing behind him “would you look at that” he howls getting up in jughead face.

“don’t even think about it” i seethe standing in front of jughead pushes at reggies chest.

as much as i wanted to cower behind juggie i knew that Reggie wouldn’t flinch punching him and the last thing i wanted was for my best friend to get punched in the face.

“oh c'mon i wasn’t going to punch your little boyfriend” he teases winking at the both of us “he’s not my boyfriend reggie- he’s my friend and i will not let some jerk bully my friends” i shout “or me for that matter”

he bites his lip pulling me into the wall pinning me down “god your hot when your angry” he whispers huskily into my neck.

“get off!!” i yell looking desperately to jughead for help but Reggies boys were holding him hostage.

“i mean it Reggie get off” i yell everyone decides to gather to watch the show, i thrash trying to get out of his grip but it’s useless.

“oh come one little (y/n) you weren’t this shy with me last night” i squirm “your fat ass wasn’t mad when I had my tongue in your mouth” he smirks and i cringe knowing that he was right.

“MANTLE” i head a loud voice

“archie” i say breathless my eyes begging for help

“let her go now” he orders edging closer

“or what andr-” he didn’t get to finish his sentence before archie ran and shoved Reggie off me and onto the floor.

grabbing me by the waist and pulling me into his arms

“so this is your boyfriend?” he howls “Andrews and (y/l/n) nice, I mean Arch buddy you could do way better she’s not much of a 10” he chuckles the group agreeing with him

“you okay” he whispers i nod “im okay now” i smile at him

“hate to break up the love fest but she’s mine archie, her face might not be all that but boy is her body”

the group whistles as they look me up and down taking in every once of me, i felt disgusted and disappointed that I ever thought Reggie was more than a jock with a good body.

the moment didn’t last as reggie grabbed me and shoved me into jughead, that flicks a switch in archie as he punches the boy in the jaw they wrestle around punching other and i yell for them to stop jughead holding me back.

the teachers are alerted and rush over to separate the boys as soon as Archie’s pulled back i run over to him placing my hands on his cheeks examining his face.

“arch” i say sadly glancing at his bruised eye and split lip.

“Andrews, Mantle my office NOW”

//

“i can’t believe the fought over you!” Ronnie squeals helping me zip up the back of my cheerleading uniform “swoon!” she finishes skipping over to Betty.

“it wasn’t over me, reggie was being an ass and Archie was just being a good friend” i conclude pulling my hair into a half up half down look adding blue ribbon for school spirt.

“have you spoke to him since it happened?” Betty asks sitting in front of me worry filling her voice.

“no, he had detention at lunch” she nods and i feel guilty “he came to see me after school but i just wanted to be alone. ill see him tonight” i try and smile knowing that Reggie would also be at the game.

Veronica touches up my face with a little makeup before the three of us head to school for the pep rally, my mood lifts a little football games were a ritual for me. i loved cheering with B & V and watching Archie play. Often we managed to drag Jughead and Kevin to the games to watch us all tonight that was one of those nights.

we meet the squad in the change rooms and grab our poms poms getting ready to go out onto the field to get the crowd pumped

“you will speak with him before the game right?” Veronica asks me worried, i nod following the girls out onto the field “promise”

“WOOHOO GO THE BULLDOGS” we cheer running and flipping out onto the field hyping the crowd up i spot jughead in the crowd and i jog over to him when Cheryl isn’t looking

“juggie!” i yell catching his attention “have you seen arch?” as the words leave my mouth the bulldogs run through the banner Archie leading the pack with a huge black eye. i glance at him guilty, he doesn’t see me searching through the crowd of river vixen. “ill talk to you later” i tell him he smiles frustrated giving me the 'I know your not okay’ stare.

i jog over to the drinks table where Archie stand his back facing me, i approach place my hand on his shoulder causing him to spin around relief flooding his expression as he realises it’s me.

“oh thank god it thought you weren’t here and i know you love the games and I didn’t want you to not come because of reggie and-” i cut him off placing my hand on his cheek touching the purpleness around his eyes gently.

“oh arch” he’s hand shots up to touch mine “im so sorry” i tell him tearing up

“hey it’s okay-” and just like that he’s swept up onto the field with all the others “arch” i call out trying to get he’s attention.

“hey it’s okay” i feel Betty’s hand on my shoulder “we gotta get ready” i nod turning to face her following her back to the squad getting ready to perform

//

the game finished miserable as the win was taken away from us in the last 5 minutes, the bulldogs look dull as they exit the field heading to the locker rooms. i sigh and grab my bag walking after the boys i needed to speak with Archie.

“(y/n)” i hear jughead call, choosing to ignore him i walk faster hoping to catch archie before he got into the locker room

“hey!” he yells panting as he catching up to me “ignore me much?” i roll my eyes

“i need to talk with archie okay? now are walking me or not?” i stop glancing at him “fine but yes i am because i swear to god if reggie lays a finger on you” i roll my eyes pulling him behind me

“yeah yeah you’ll kill him”

i push through the crowd of half naked boys as they undress ready to hit the showers, i struggle to find the boy before i spot the familiar red mop of hair. i weave in and out of the crowd before i edge closer to him.

he mustn’t of seen me because he turned and crash into me losing his towel in the process, jughead covers my eyes as Archie scrambles to re adjust his towel “(y/n) jughead what are you doing-”

i put my finger on his lips silencing him “let me talk please” i tell him, gaining the attention of everyone in the locker room.

i realise now why Jughead thought this was a bad idea

“look im sorry about today- your eye you losing the captain spot- you shouldn’t have gotten involved Archie it wasn’t your fight! you warned me and i didn’t listen and now your in trouble with your dad and the principal and you have a busted lip and a black eye all because of that freaking jerk!” i yell tearing up feeling stupid

“I know how much football meant to you, you need it to get into college to study your music and i completely ruined it for you because of a stupid stupid idea to prove a point!”

i run my fingers through my hair a few tears falling down my face, i wipe them as quickly as they fall Archie looks defeated not knowing what to say

“(y/n)-” he steps forward but stops as loud clapping fills the locker room

“what a speech” i growl facing Reggie

“oh go fuck yourself Reggie, haven’t you ruined enough lives today!” he smirks leaning against the locker his towel hanging low off his hips.

he reaches out to brush my hair behind my ear and Archie moves in front of me but i clasp my arm around his bicep “he isn’t worth it” i spit tugging Archie toward me.

“did i tell you how good you looked in that uniform” he licks his lips “that mini skirt, it’s like your begging for someone to kiss you, you look in desperate need let me help you princess”

he attempts to walk over to me but i extend my hand to his chest playing with him

“you know reg your right, i do really need a kiss” i tell him pulling my bottom lip with my teeth and fiddling with the bottom of my skirt fluttering my lashes.

i can see Archie adjusting his towel all the boys seem to be getting rather bothered by my act, Reggie steps forward reaching out to grab my waist but i spin grabbing the back of Archie’s neck and pulling him in for a kiss, jumping up to wrap my legs around his waist.

i deepen the kiss cheers from his team mates fill the air, i break away breathless kissing him once more before Archie sets me back down.

“much better” i sigh glances at a very frustrated Reggie “oh and reg you might wanna take a cold shower for junior” i tug at his towel leaving him completely naked before peeking Archie on the lips.

“see you outside”

he blushes scratching the back of his neck as he watches me walk out with jughead, i bite my lip swinging my hips feeling confident as i wait outside the locker room

“wow” jughead exclaims pacing back and fourth as the rest of our friends spot us and walk over to us, i roll my eyes at him grabbing his jacket to stop the pacing.

“hey” i greet the girls

“Pop’s?” Betty asks

we nod “yeah of course!”

“okay well lets go im sure archie can catch up” Veronica smiles grabbing my arm

“oh ill just wait for him we’ll meet you there!” they narrow their eyes jughead refusing to make eye contact not wanting to be interrogated.

“uh i haven’t spoken to him yet so i can do it on my way over before we met yous” they share glances with each other before nodding at my story.

“okay fine, jughead are you going to escort your ladies” he rolls his eyes pushing off the wall as the girls loop their arms with his and heading toward our favourite hang out.

the boys start exiting the locker room glancing at me as i wait fiddling with my hair and avoiding all eye contact. standing up to reggie wasn’t all that and but he whole makeout session could’ve been prevented but i was feeling epic.

“(y/n)? where are the others?” i glance up at the voice smiling at the red headed boy

i suddenly feel nervous my knees wobbling and my cheeks heating up at my name coming out of his mouth.

“uh they um- they are going to pops- i um told them that we’d yanno met them there” i finishes awkwardly glancing at my feet as I scuff them.

“that is if you want to go- if not i can just walk myself-” he smiles shaking his head at me “no no i wanna come” “good” i smile and with that we set off to Pop’s silence filling the air.

we reach the diner and i stop spoting our friends in the booth next to the window, Archie notices and stops turning to face me “you okay?” i nod

“im sorry about what happened before” i blurt worried that i misread Archie’s feelings toward me. nervousness washes over me and my smile slips from my lips.

“hey hey- no don’t be- it was amazing, your amazing” he finishes grabbing my hips and tugging me toward him.

"if im not mistaking is mr Archie Andrews finally making the first move?” i hint playful playing with his shirt, he laughs playfully placing his soft lips on me and closing the small gap between our bodies.

“you know Reg was right about the whole cheerleader outfit” i raise my eyebrows “hot as hell”

i kiss him back before lacing my hands with his and pulling him into the diner walking over to our friends sliding in next to Jughead as Archie takes the seat next to me siting closer then usual he drapes his arm across the back of the booth touching my shoulder soothingly.

“okay what the hell happened in the locker room?” Veronica asks sipping her milkshake.

“oh they had a huge make out session infringed of reggie it was intense should’ve been there” jughead spills earning a smack up side the head from Archie

“dude?”

i blush covering my face and leaning into Archie, i peer through my fingers and see the two girls staring intensely at m “what!” i complain giggling.

the group fall into a fit of laughter and i smile up at Archie as he tightens his grip around my waist making me feel safe.

this is where I belong.

[thedarksideofthetruth-blog]

USELESS WORDS

I GOT LOST IN A CROWD OF HOPELESS DREAMERS AND NEW TOWN BELIEVERS. IT WAS FILLED WITH REGRET, DISTRUST, AND DEPRESSION. IT WAS ONE OF THE WORST YEARS OF MY SHORT LIFE. I WAS A FRESHMAN IN HIGH SCHOOL AND LIKE ALL 14 YEAR OLD GIRLS I WANTED LOVE. REAL LOVE. LOVE THAT REALLY MEANT SOMETHING. I HAD JUST ESCAPED MY UGLY STAGE OF LIFE, AND I WAS FINALLY STARTING TO RECEIVE MALE ATTENTION. I WOULD TALK TO ANY BOY THAT WANTED TO TALK TO ME. IF MY MOM HADN’T BEEN SO STRICT, I WOULD HAVE PROBABLY SPENT MY FRIDAY NIGHTS GETTING DRUNK WITH ALL OF THEM, BUT IM GLAD I WAS NEVER GIVEN THE OPTION TO. I MET A LOT OF GUYS; THEY WERE ALL JUST TRYING TO GET LAID, AND I GUESS I SEEMED LIKE AN EASY TARGET. I HAD JUST GOTTEN OUT OF THIS 4 MONTH RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE THE GUY TURNED GAY (WE’LL DISCUSS LATER). I WANTED SOMETHING TO KEEP MY MIND OFF OF FEELING ABANDONED.THIS GUY I HAD GYM CLASS WITH STARTED GIVING ME ATTENTION. I IMMEDIATELY GOT BAD VIBES FROM HIM. HE ASKED FOR MY SNAPCHAT, AND I GAVE IT TO HIM BECAUSE I DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO SAY NO. HE TRIED SNAPPING, BUT I JUST DIDN’T ANSWER MOST OF THE TIME. HE WOULD INTERROGATE ME AT SCHOOL BY ASKING WHY I’M NOT ANSWERING. TO BE HONEST, I DIDN’T REALLY KNOW WHY I WASN’T ANSWERING. I’D NEVER BEEN AFRAID TO TALK TO ANYONE BEFORE. HE SEEMED ARROGANT TO ME, AND THAT’S A TRAIT I FIND SO UNATTRACTIVE IN PEOPLE. THIS GIRL ENDED UP TELLING ME THAT A COUPLE MONTHS BEFORE HE TRIED TALKING TO HER, AND HE WAS REALLY WEIRD ABOUT IT. HE WASN’T THE AVERAGE WEIRD KID. HE WASN’T LIKE ON THE CHESS TEAM OR SPENDING HIS WEEKENDS WATCHING SCIENCE VIDEOS. HE WAS QUITE POPULAR ACTUALLY. HE WAS THE STAR OF THE FOOTBALL AND BASKETBALL TEAM, AND HE HAD JUST MOVED TO THIS SMALL TOWN FROM FLORIDA. HE WOULD SIT ON THE GYM FLOOR EVERY SINGLE DAY AND TRY TO TALK TO ME. HE WOULD TRY TO FIND THINGS WE HAD IN COMMON, SO WE MAINLY JUST TALKED ABOUT POLITICS. USUALLY, I WOULD SIT WITH THIS GUY I’D KNOWN SINCE MIDDLE SCHOOL, AND HIS NEW FRIEND THAT WAS AN EXCHANGE STUDENT FROM GERMANY. I WOULD TRY TO TALK TO THEM TO DISTRACT MYSELF FROM HAVING HAVING TO TALK TO THE OTHER GUY. ON MY BIRTHDAY, ANOTHER GIRL TOLD ME THAT HE WAS TALKING TO HER, BUT SHE SEEMED SERIOUS ABOUT WANTED TO BE WITH HIM, SO I LET IT BE. THEN HE COMES INTO GYM CLASS ACCUSING ME OF LYING ABOUT HIM BEING A ‘WOMANIZER.’ THEY EVENTUALLY STOPPED COMMUNICATING, AND THEY NEVER GOT INTO AN ACTUAL RELATIONSHIP. HE SOMETIMES WOULD EMBARRASS ME IN FRONT OF THE POPULAR BOYS; HE WOULD SAY I WAS RUDE AND WOULDN’T LOVE HIM. THEN ONE BEAUTIFUL BRIGHT SUNNY DAY HE CAME OVER TO TALK TO ME. AFTER THE BELL THE RANG, I GOT UP TO LEAVE. GYM WAS MY LAST CLASS, SO IT WAS TIME TO GO HOME AFTERWARDS. HE WAS STILL SITTING IN THE FLOOR AND I BENT OVER TO GET ME STUFF, AND HE GRABBED MY ASS. IT WASN’T A GENTAL ACCIDENT. IT WAS HARD AND FORCEFUL. IT WAS ON PURPOSE. PRIOR TO THIS, HE HAD PUT HIS HAND ON MY THIGH BUT ONLY FOR A FEW SECONDS. AFTER HE TOUCHED MY ASS, I DIDN’T EVEN LOOK BACK TO ACKNOWLEDGE HIM. I WANTED OUT OF THERE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. I GOT IN MY DADS TRUCK, AND HE TOOK ME HOME. AFTER I GOT TO MY HOUSE, I SAT IN THE BATHROOM AND CRIED. I TOLD MY BEST FRIEND AND NO ONE ELSE ABOUT HOW THIS GUY HAD BEEN MAKING ADVANCES TOWARDS ME FOR MONTHS, AND THEN TODAY HE GRABBED MY ASS. SHE ACTED LIKE SHE DIDN’T CARE, SO IT FELT LIKE NOTHING. 

SADLY, THAT WASN’T THE END OF THE HARASSMENT. HE GRABBED MY ASS SO MUCH IT JUST FELT LIKE PART OF A ROUTINE. I TOLD HIM TO LEAVE ME ALONE. THE GUY I SAT WITH TOLD HIM TO LEAVE ME ALONE. HE ASKED FOR MY NUMBER, SO WE COULD FACETIME. I JUST GAVE IT TO HIM BECAUSE IT FELT IMPOSSIBLE TO TELL HIM NO. LUCKILY FOR ME, HE TYPED IT IN WRONG, AND I NEVER CORRECTED HIM. THEN HE YELLED AT ME FOR GIVING HIM A WRONG NUMBER. I DREADED THAT CLASS EVERY DAY. IT GAVE ME SO MUCH ANXIETY THAT I HAD TO COUNT DOWN THE DAYS UNTIL I WOULDN’T HAVE TO SEE HIM. HE TOLD ME THAT MY BOOBS WERE BIG, AND THEN HE KIND OF TRIED TO TOUCHED THEM WHILE WE WERE ON THE BLEACHERS ONE DAY. IT WAS A TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE FOR ME, AND HE WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND HOW HE MADE ME FEEL. WHEN SCHOOL FINALLY ENDED, I GOT INTO A LOT OF FIGHTS WITH MY BEST FRIEND JUST ABOUT STUPID STUFF. I STARTED FIGHTING WITH HER BECAUSE IT KIND OF FELT LIKE SHE LEFT ME ON THE BATTLE FIELD TO DIE. SOMETIMES LIFE ISN’T ALWAYS AS HAPPY AND SATISFYING AS WE WANT IT TO BE. DREAMS GET DESTROYED. THE TRUTH IS JUST WANT YOU CHOOSE TO BELIEVE. WASH YOUR SINS AWAY IN THE WATERFALL, AND THEN CURSE THE NAME OF THE BOY WHO KNOWS IT ALL. ONE DAY I PRAY, THAT I’LL GET TO TELL HIM ALL OF THESE USELESS WORDS. WHAT’S DONE IS DONE. NO AMOUNT OF SYMPATHY CAN TAKE BACK THE PAIN, BUT I WANT HIM TO KNOW.

~B

[nrfdxnwr]

Recovery Phase

Welcome to my 2 years worth of recovery story.

The ones’ who’ve known me way before 2015 will know why. But this ones’ for the one who prolly is reading this and dont know hahahaha

I was the girl who loved her ex way too much & is willing to do anything & everything for his happiness. Was supposed to get married but yeah... the longest time ever to move on.

Here’s what everyone didnt know and kept telling me that i always deserve better, when they havent been hearing what was it that is really happening to me, & us. Yes, im gna tell everything that has been happening for the past 2/3 years, till now.

My relationship with my ex was perfect. Prolly the only time i started acting up was when he left me to Brunei, for 9 months.. (yes im also the girl who cant stand being away from my boyfriend for too long) and when i say acting up, i mean, i start being crazy cause i miss him. Hahahah well it was pretty easy cause i had work distracting me. He is honestly a nice, lovely and caring person...

But he had someone else.. oh we were 3 1/2 years together. I knew he had someone else but i kept forgiving him for all that he did cause i loved him & it was too hard for me to let go. & i kept on telling myself that it’ll get better. But i was wrong.

It honestly got worst. It got worst cause i start drifting away from him and do my own stuffs. It really hit me on the night he asked me “b, do you really still love me ?” Cause i know that i was really drifting apart & i also knew what i did what i did... was wrong. Here is what everyone doesnt know... i let guys in.. i let guys be close to me. Only because i wanted to know if he felt what i felt.. if he felt the pain i felt. But nope..

So i stopped wtv i was doing. And he got mad over what i did. I saw him with another girl in his house. I broke up with him. Everyone thought that I actually broke up with him cause he was with another girl in the house. But nope. I broke up with him cause i know the more i hold on, the more shits I’ll be doing, & it’ll be more painful for me. And i knew what was my shortcomings, i knew why the other girl existed. I knew why he did all those. I accepted fate, and left him.

After the break up, i found myself going back to him everytime. I dont even know why. It was hard. Reaaaally hard. I tried Tinder. Met all sorts of guys. Cant seem to forget him still.. then i told myself that maybe i should spend more time with my girlfriend & bestfriend. It worked. But truth to be told, there were times of the day where I’ll rmb him and think of him. I just dont wna start again with someone new... yknow ?

Okay.. the duration from the breakup till i found a boyfriend.... i gained so much weight. It was weird. Serious. Still met my ex a couple of times, just to see how he’s doing. Aight, here’s the part where i start moving on..

I met Anwar.

Not as my officer. But as a guest to my family event. Yep, the first time we met was at my family event.

I was dating his friend...... before i know him.

Something happened and he got me. My life is so confusing.

It tooook meeee sooooo muchhhh to open up to someone new again. I had trouble telling him what is wrong with me, that i tend to just shut myself up. Still checked on my ex once in awhile.

Yes, i treated Anwar like shit for the first 3 months of the relationship. He made so much efforts to heal me, to fix me, to make me love him. He had all the patience which i doubt anyone has. He is really one of a kind..

I started 2016 = i started loving him.

Cause i found out that there was sth else that my ex did wayyyyy before the break up. And I realised that it’s rlly not worth it anymore to think of/abt him. I got engaged to Anwar, mid of the year. I think twice if this is rlly what i want. Yes, i wna settle down but am i doing the right thing ? But as time goes by.. Anwar really showed me.. he guided me all the way, and has never given up. I know right at that moment that he deserves everything in this world. Everything seems to be going really smooth from then on. Gotten over my ex and what he did. Yes... until......

2017 happened. Ally Marcia existed. And it happened again. This girl gave me the shittiest time of my life ever. Im not saying she’s fully at fault. I did scold Anwar for what he did.. he regretted it cause he knows & sees what a minah i can be, when im fucking mad 😂

I felt really empty and useless and worthless. Like why is this happening to me again. Do i really deserve this kind of shit. And again, i shut down from Anwar for almost a month. Zero sayang, zero ‘i love you’, zero kisses, zero attention. I just dk what else to do. I really feel like i wasn’t good enough, no matter how hard i tried.

Tbh, even up till today, just by hearing her name or knowing anyth abt her, can make me feel like i wna kill her... still. Yes. Its really that bad.

She didnt wna give up on trying to get Anwar, even aft 5 months. Even i myself give up on getting mad. Sampai maki maki. Okay im not the kind of person who always curse. But this girl.... i rlly cannot tahan. Can you believe it, even when i sound her and told her to stop it, she still wna disturb my rs and still wna teach my Anwar to lie to me just so she can meet Anwar ? Ridiculous.

But anyways... ive forgave anwar fr all that he did and yes it took alot to make me trust him again. But his efforts is A++. Anwar & I are happy now, with what we both have & with wtv we had faced previously. He has been putting so much efforts in our relationship,to make us work. He did everything for my happiness. He did everything for me. He supports me in everything that i do. Yes, he is my forever & always.

2 years of recovery.. because.. there is existence of 2 unnecessary girls.

Im so glad its the end of the year cause i rlly wna forget all these and put all of these behind. I really love Anwar & ya if you girls wna be close to him.. for no apparent reason, kau standby je kene satu penumbuk. I hope we will get better and better as days goes by.

I love you potato, always 💖

Thank you for existing in my life & making things better for me always.

#nrfdxnwr