#and she probably only WANTS to watch it because mac is fighting and shes supporting her little bro

[rexscanonwife]

I've been wanting to draw something like this since I threw out the idea of my s/i being Little Mac's older sister, so here's a little doodle comic!

[the-firebird69]

Watch "Hulk Vs Abomination Fight | She Hulk Episode 9 | #shorts #shehulk #hulk" on YouTube

You guys are going to get your asses kicked okay at this point right here he's standing at about 11 ft I'm told some say 12:00 and it's creature from the Black lagoon and you can't even get his name right and you're about 8 ft tall and a disparity is huge and he's going to be giant like this and you want him to be cuz you say you can take advantage of him. Now what he's doing is starting a war with the clones who are trying to stop him he says usually it's mild and they don't send that many and I say this it's kind of true and they say they're not expecting too many cuz they don't see any it's really the idiots and that's what's going on and the idiots are not that hard to hit so I see what you're saying they are concerned about it but they want things to continue as normal but they are starting to war with them by getting us these vehicles and yours getting rid of yourselves by challenging them and challenging us and challenging the clones and running off where the clones need to be and they're going to kill all of you and we're hitting you and we're not even 100% Mac yet and I will tell you that the mutants hate you too he's kind of mutant and can't stand you it says your traitors and it's true that's what these guys say all the time you can have all this business and you want none you just want to go around rubbing stuff in people's faces you look like an idiot. This is Mark ruffalo he's not me he's one of your imbeciles from and he's not good at what he does and he's f****** up all the time and the other one is a giant okay your kids not there he does something called CGI and we checked it out and he is huge it's either grandkid or a child of this guy and he's normally 15 ft tall he says he wouldn't fit in here he has to get a new place if he has to sleep here and he's 50 ft tall he'll have to put the two bed pieces he has on the floor so everybody's laughing cuz it wouldn't support him but seriously he's got to figure out something to do and he's have to eat all sorts of food and he said he could seems disabled because this gigantism and I understand that and you don't starve people because of it so you need like a steer a week or two and he might be able to get supplemental income and I guess you could apply for it maybe a grant people want to study him and things like that usually it doesn't work but right now you're in the way of anything happening that would be positive and I can't believe how opposite you are you're willing to die and do stupid stuff. I see you doing the zoo stuff all over and finally Poseidon and he's getting help and I see how it works but he wants to hit you and he's getting his help so they're going to hit you first almost guaranteed and Poseidon is Nemo and it's King Nemo and really are you going to get your ass handed to you cuz I do see the movie and they do hand you your head and then it happens beforehand he says I don't know but you watch out for a backstabbers when I say it's how deep it is with the hatred for this if they'll take that knife from the museum that we all have to walk around for days at least we had soba and that was father and he helped out by helping, and my parent and they're grateful that mentions I'm grateful that they helped out because these people are terrible that was horrible and that was our friend here and I agree that the knife is probably going to be used are you in a lot and so he's probably copying his father he says probably just a little bit more precise and what he's doing to me. So look at the creature and I can't stand it it's so fearful it's such a scary looking monster and that was so huge and the scoot around with each other and they don't really have a brain and you people fall for it and you're stupid. You messed up on work that was thousands of years old in a few minutes if to start over somehow and he's helping although it's a parallel he's probably invading but we have no choice because you won't do anything at all and you're forcing both groups to fight him and we're going to lose because of you

Justin

That's too bad and I'll win and no I'm not as general grievous I understand you're a fixated on it I guess I'm using shrink technology it's not working doesn't work on anyone else they say they're going to make it happen and we need to hear it from you and them so I'm going to go ballistic like I'm not already he says no I got something to say this guy is getting under my skin on purpose he says he's doing it on purpose his technique and it works and it does eventually I'm going to hit him I guess that's what I say and he says right now you're on this downward slide and you're getting weaker and weaker and you think you're getting stronger and you're manic and you're delusional and all sorts of strange things and what you're doing makes you look sick pathetic and weak. So I understand that I have a ton of money and he doesn't have any he says he has a ton of power and the money will come later and whatever I want so who cares shitted s*** head so understanding about mashed probably not I guess I don't get what's going on again still and he says it's finally happening and you cried wolf the whole time and you don't know anything so you'll sit here and wallow in it

Trump

You just like your kids your privates you don't have any information yet

Zues Hera

Actually see something she's kind of a wise ass too I have information and I see those knockoffs coming out all over the place and well no I don't see it I think I'm selling cars

Trump

Hahaha what the f*** are you you're so dumb

Hera

You showing up the fights and you don't know it and you get your ass pummeled and you show up to do a business and you don't know you're showing up to a meeting and you get pummeled this is wrong with you f****** moron I know what's wrong with you they're not enough knock-offs out there if you notice yet but you really don't have manufacturing no he said it up it's not really going that much cuz people aren't buying cuz they can't afford the cars so you're going to sell these so we're going to knock you out of the business

Zues

I understand what he's saying I just don't see it and he's right I get information late I'm like a private negative information from each other I get it after them I guess no but it's pretty bad. It says they're shipped and people are assembling them and they're all over the place and I don't get it and then I got the information that I don't get it they come disassembled unlike my vehicles people are assembling them unlike my vehicles and they're not my vehicles and tons of them are selling and I have the information and I don't get it. That's what he says. I swear to get it he's insulted so he's sticking it all the way up there and the max are making it happen and they have assembly factories going up and they're going to kill us all and that's what I get cuz that's what they're saying but what I see is not that. I see people assembly things all over the place he says I can't watch it's like someone wiping out at skiing every few feet. So I guess I'm wrong cuz he can ski I see the reports and it says only a few octillion. I suddenly see what he's saying I have no way of interpreting what people are doing is saying I don't have a way of figuring out how many orders are placed I can't tell what the consumer reaction would be I don't know what people are thinking about vehicles and about fighting Tommy f and I can't interpret it even though the computer can tell me what it is I sort of get what he's saying like this complete f****** loser all the time everyone hates me and even he's killing me somehow so I guess I'll just die of stupid person no it says everyone's going to buy these things Non-Stop that's what he wants cuz he knows what he's doing he's going to put us out of business which we're going to be out in a business anyways and I don't believe it was just true cuz I'm a stupid f*** which is true he doesn't know but I'll be around inside his body

Trump

That's what we wanted to hear now we're going to sue you for it

Hera Zues

[anxiouspotatorants]

heyy first off im obsessed w your account and the underdog quartet but also i feel like, with your new jess/paris playlist post, we need to acknowledge paris and jess’s first interaction when paris went into luke’s diner in “Richard goes to stars hollow” they had a very subtle interaction but he was clearly memorable enough to her to remember him and his name. I wonder if whenever paris when to stars hollow in the future she would look for jess what do you think

Thank you so much for this ask and the kind words!!! I’m obviously obsessed with UQ too, so finding more people who love that dynamic is just amazing!

Also yes we only had about two direct interactions between Paris and Jess but holy shit was the platonic chemistry there!! Paris bothering to remember him is something I would love to take as a sign that she was a Jess gal (especially since if you combine that with Keiko Agena saying she and Lane are team Jess, that means all my faves support my ship!)

Now for Jess and Paris specifically, I could honestly give you three different types of answers for this. First is that ASP and company didn’t feel like exploring that dynamic, so Paris probably doesn’t think about Jess or seek him out in the future, especially not after Rory’s break up. But that take is boring so let’s go for wild headcanons!

The second approach is on the more realistic side. I bet that Paris would avoid bringing up Jess every time he popped into her mind in front of Rory, but she would be too desperate to finally have that decent conversationalist to not bug Rory about him. She probably wouldn’t head over to Stars Hollow of her own accord considering how disappointed she was with the research results for that article, but she would ask about when Jess could come over to Hartford so she could rip his literary takes to shreds at a nearby cafe or at the elder Gilmores. Once Jess and Rory were a couple, Paris would double down on her requests but probably only have them met once or twice (Jess has work, Rory still has a tendency to compartmentalize parts of her life etc.). Post-breakup Paris would take Rory’s side, but secretly be sad to see a potential friend go. She probably felt like this guys really could be something, not just for Rory who seemed to finally get decent taste in boys, but for Paris who was finally starting to get more true friends. She carries a secret team Jess torch for the rest of the series but hides it in general criticism of any and all guys Rory is involved with.

On to approach three, aka balls to the walls whatever I want!! Hold on to your hat because this will be a long and windy ride:

After the diner-meet, Paris is intrigued by the guy who played along with her interrogation and eye-flirted with Rory. She doesn’t think she’ll see him again, but she would be lying if she said she didn’t want to.

After the dinner at Rory’s, Paris is honestly elated to finally have a great literary conversation with a guy her age. The only one to have come close is Rory, and that doesn’t say much for the «opposite sex» in Paris’ eyes. But she’s also furiously disagreeing with Jess’ «Austen loves Bukowski»-take, so she writes a whole several page argumentative essay and forces Rory to deliver it to Jess the next school day.

Jess responds not with a letter, but by having Rory hand Paris an annotated («blasphemy!») copy of a Bukowski work. There are no arguments from Jess notes, just underlines of quotes he thinks Austen would approve of, and excerpts from different Austen works put in the margins for comparison. Paris despises him for how much she is seeing his point.

At some point Rory get’s sick of being a carrier pigeon and drags Paris with her to ST after school so the two can fight in person. All three stay until Lorelai pops over for dinner, and Paris realizes she needs to haul herself over to the bus. She’s hungry and worried about the time she should have spent on homework, but ultimately really happy about the day.

She’s bummed to see Jess go after the car accident, but doesn’t have much time to think about it between school and… well, school. She does end up being one of the few Rory can talk to about Jess without getting the whole «bad bad boy»-speech she gets over in ST and at her grandparents’.

Rory doesn’t tell Paris Jess is back until the very end of their Washington trip when Paris finds the unfinished letter and Paris is boiling. She does cool quickly, but only to constantly bug Rory about when the three of them are going to meet up again for coffee and verbal war. Rory gets so stressed about it that at some point she gives Paris the number to Luke’s and tells her to go on her own for all Rory cares.

Paris does. Jess is surprised, but they get in the groove quick. What doesn’t go as smoothly is Paris asking what the hell is going on between him and Rory. His non-answers pretty much spell everything out, and in a rare moment of comradery, Paris decides to turn the conversation in to hating on Dean. Jess appreciates it. It doesn’t happen again, but Paris firmly puts herself in the team Jess camp from then on.

Paris is releived once Jess and Rory finally are together and it is great! More cafe talks! Study sessions! Movie nights! They even sneak both Paris and Lane out into concerts! Paris feels like for the first time in a very long time, she has real friends her own age. The kind who actually like you for you and want to spend time with you for you, not just to get better grades or a better reputation.

Paris sucks at being strong for Rory when Jess leaves. Like, she takes it really personal. This was supposed to be the one good guy, and he decided to be just like everyone else. But with time she learns to coach Rory into speaking her mind about the whole thing, and to support her in her own Paris-y way.

What she doesn’t tell Rory is that at some point after summer break (either because she gets hold of Jess for some scolding or because Lane does and spills to Paris or even if Jess gets in touch himself) Jess starts sending Paris beat up books he collects on the road around the country. None of them feature letters (at first), but annotations at the beginning declaring his safety and momentary location, as well as his general style annotations of the book inside the text. Paris starts responding with letters, and with time they start talking on phones and through email.

Paris helps Jess with his GED. They make it an equal study-buddy thing because Paris needs help taking certain writers seriously in her essays. Most of their sessions are over the phone, and a lot of it is just them daring each other to actually try. Paris gets actual stars on her improved essays, and Jess passes with flying colours.

Paris doesn’t know about Truncheon until Jess stands in front of her place ages later, dressed like a Kids Bop version of himself and holding a messengerbag with his debut novel. Paris tears through it in two hours (forcing Jess to sit on the couch next to her the whole time) and then spends another half hour furiously trying to tear it to shreds but actually praising it. She gives him their first hug ever, and hopes this afternoon is a sign they’ll slowly get back to being close friends in person.

Paris sucks at hiding how team Jess she is. So. Much. She does have genuine critiques of Logan and other guys, but her gut-defenses of Jess at random times in the day and weird reminiscing back to the «good old days» of diner talk after school gives her away immediately. Rory is uncomfortable, but Paris doesn’t even change her mind after Rory still picks Logan.

What she does do is invite Jess over for grown up evenings with Doyle. Whenever Rory is scheduled to be out and Jess needs to visit Luke anyway, Paris extends her invitation. They test wines based on price and taste, watch cult classics, eat takeout (in honour of Paris’ very first Mac and Cheese night) and talk for hours. One day wires cross and Jess gets in while Rory is there/Rory gets back while Jess is there and things get awkward.

Paris invites Jess to the graduation. Yes she has a limited amount of tickets and yes it’s weird to invite your friend who has barely been around ever but damn it she wants him there. He came to her when he was celebrating his accomplishments, she wants him to be there for hers.

They actually grow even closer as adults; emailing, texting and calling regularly. About 70% of it is general banter and picking on everything and everyone around them, but it’s a far more loving kind now — not that anyone who isn’t them would know, from the outside it looks like they want to kill each other. Regardless of outcome, Paris remains forever team Jess, and the two end up having each other’s backs for life.

So this went long and away from the point (and I only went through Paris’ pov!) but it was fun to write! I hope you like rant answers!

[tobealostwanderer]

Fight Night

Frankie x GN!Reader

Your best friend promises her brother's friend to fight him in the ring. You go to cheer her on, worried for her safety, but leave with forever friends and a crush

"Are you shure you wanna do this though? You never did matches before.. You can get seriously hurt" the nervousness in your voice was unmistakable but that didn't stop your asshole friend of laughing at you. "Love, I need to teach these men a lesson" she said with a tone of mischief. "And you will get laid. Which will be payment enough for me. Because gosh you are tense. Anyways when will you be here?"

"I'm getting in my car now. I will get there in 15 ish minutes" you answered her. You gave your normal goodbyes before you hang up and threw your phone on the passenger side with a sigh.

Maddie, your best friend, was a boxer and could absolutely kick ass. Her brother, Jack, kept pestering her how she should take her skills to a proper ring and knock some guys out but she always said no. Until a few weeks ago. When she met one of Jack's friends and he dared her to fight him in the ring. And being a hotheaded person, she took up that deal without thinking. And now it's Friday, just after work, and you were on your way to support her with Jack.

The relatively short ride was spend singing along to some Fleetwood Mac songs. Your old car only played CDs and so your dash was full with them. And as you drove up to the ring, belting along with The Chain, you spotted Maddie and Jack's cars and managed to park close by them. Turning down your car, you send a quick prayer to whoever God was listening to keep your friend in one piece, grabbed your phone and went in.

The place was packed. People were screaming, making bets, watching the two persons go at it on the elevated ring. The place smelled like sweat, cheap beer and blood. It made you a bit uneasy, especially being surrounded by mostly men, so you set off to find Jack as quick as possible. Which was hard, with only the spotlights on the ring being a source of light, the rest of the room being dimmed by some wall lamps, faces were hard to see.

In fact, Jack saw you before you saw him. Suddendly he was in front of you, grinning. "C'mon! I saved us a seat next to my friend's friends. They are pretty cool" he yelled over the noise. He grabbed your arm and dragged you to a bench with four men. All were holding a beer and all were reacting differently to the fight.

The first one, a slim, tan guy with black hair was totally invested. He kept yelling and cheering when the guy he was rooting for managed to hit his opponent. He looked slightly drunk, but he wasn't being annoying as of yet.

Next to him was a taller and broader guy. He sat there, seemingly unamused. Probably waiting for his friend to get in the ring. He didn't look too approachable.

The third guy was like the first one but a bit more toned down. He cheered every once in a while but wasn't as hyper like the first guy. He had blonde hair and a mischievous sparkle in his eyes.

And the last one... Didn't look like he belonged at all. He was silent, although not in a threatening way like guy nr. 2. He didn't seem uncomfortable, just seemed like he didn't want to be in such a rowdy and busy place. You couldn't blame him.

"Guys" Jack called, making them all look away from the ring and to the two of you. "This is my sister's friend" he introduced you. "And these are Santiago, Tom, Will and Frankie. They are Benny's friends, but Will is his brother." Jack explained. You nodded and smiled at the bunch.

After a beat of uncomfortable silence between the group and you, you decided to sit down next to the silent one, Frankie, and you smiled kindly at him. "What is someone like you doing in a place like this?" He asked, a bit awkwardly. Is he trying to flirt? You thought. No.. can't be.

"Gotta make shure that my best friend isn't torn to shreds. I have faith in her but you never know" you said with a grin. "If she loses, however, I might need to kick her ass. For doing this. Because sometimes she barerly has any braincells" to that Frankie laughed and his eyes shone a bit more than the dull brown they were when you first quietly observed him.

Conversion with Frankie after that came surprisingly easy. Especially since you weren't much of a talker. It was a great distraction from the two guys that were beating eachother to bloody pulp no more than 5 meters away from you. Frankie was kind and made bad jokes to which you laughed. You learned that he was currently a car mechanic but classifies himself as an "all in one handyman", meaning he could basically do anything according to him.

You in turn told him about working at the local library as their barista for their in-shop coffee nook. It was the easiest and calmest job you ever had, since most people that came to a library were already calm people so you didn't have to deal with a lot of "entitled bitches". Again Frankie laughed, but before he could say anything the new fight was announced and it was Maddie against Benny.

You turned to the ring, seeing your friend standing there tall and proud. A lot of guys wolf whistled at her as she got ready. Opposite of her was Will's brother, Benny, and they truely were look alike. Or it might be their equally blonde hair. He had a big smile on his face, like he couldn't wait to fight her.

After a few minutes of preparation, the bell went and the two went ham on eachother. You had to give it to them both, they were strong and fast. Equally matched. From your right you heard Santiago call "I am betting 20 bucks on our Ben". To which you almost immediately replied "I am betting 40 on Maddie". He looked at you in shock, and as your eyes turned up to Frankie, you saw him looking in shock as well.

Before Frankie could protest though, Santi had jumped forward and shook your hand. Yelling a loud "Deal" before returning to his seat and starting to cheer for the younger Miller.

Frankie held your gaze, at first he looked like he wanted to say something, but then he shook his head and just smiled "Tell you what" he said "If Ben wins, I get you a drink. If he loses, you get me a drink. Deal?" To that you grinned and shook his hand "Deal."

The fight took a while, because the two were well matched, until Benny got a few good hits in and it didn't look well for Maddie. You heard Santiago cheer and chant "Go Benny Go!" With Will. Maddie however came back with more fire than before and managed to hit Benny in a few weak spots and within a minute, he was groaning on the floor and called out.

You and Jack cheered and Maddie locked eyes with the two of you and grinned. She then helped Benny up and clapped him on the back as they both went back to the dressing rooms. "I think you owe me money!" You yelled at Santiago and he grouchy pressed a 20 in your hand. With that in hand you went to the bar to get two beers for you and Frankie.

This was just one night in many to come. You came in with only worry for your best friend, and left with forever best friends and a crush on a certain curly haired, hat wearing man. And you wouldn't have it any other way.

[itjazzbicch]

Splitting Hidden Thoughts

Pairing: Mike Sydal x Fem Reader   

Summary: The reader and Mike Sydal are best friends, but one thing Mike doesn't know is how the reader truly feels about him, in more ways than one. While watching one of Mike's matches, the reader is having a private conversation with one of her friends, explaining some of her feelings, Mike's brother Matt overheards, making sure Mike knows...

Warnings:  SMUT!!!! (18+ ONLY!)

Requested by:  Anon (Whoever you are, I hope you enjoy!)

Word Count:  2595

Tag List: @demonqueen29 @jessiebean00 @new-zealand-chic @crowleysqueenofhell @justamess44 @thatpanpal @hungmanhorsecarriage @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch  @linziland13 @yungbludjazz360  

I DO OWN THIS GIF

"Is Matt going out there with you?" I asked, staying by Mike's side while on our way to the guerrilla.

"He's going to stay back here and watch," Mike sighed, getting serious, "I want to establish that I can also be a singles competitor just like Matt did."

Mike did make a very good point and I couldn't argue about that. As his best friend, I will always respect and support his decisions. We had been friends for as long as I can remember, from when I was a rookie. Matt, Mike, and I have wrestled all over the world together and it was a good time.

"Understandable," I noted, trying to make him smile, "We all know you'll go out there and win, Mike. I'll be here rooting for you with Matt."

I put a bright smile on Mike's face, showing his appreciation by putting his arm around my shoulder till we got to the guerrilla, greeting Matt.

"I went ahead and grabbed your things for your entrance," Matt smiled, handing Mike his stuff.

"Thanks, man," He smiled, one of the crew members telling him that there were thirty seconds left. With little time left, I hugged Mike, smiling:

"Here's your good luck hug. Go win that match."

"Won't let you down," Mike promised, returning my hug.

After that, Mike was off and just a few ways from the guerrilla, Matt and I were watching the match, another one of my great friends, Kris Statlander joining us.

"Your man is on," Kris murmured to me, sitting down next to me and her words made me a bit nervous, about making me blush.

One thing I just couldn't get out of my mind is how much I wanted Mike. I wanted to be more than just friends and he could get my gears turning just with a look. Kris knew that she was the only one I believe and whenever I watched Mike, I just couldn't contain myself. Kris and I would joke around about it a little and I wasn't afraid to tell her about my feelings and she found it funny how I would make some adult comments, just admiring Mike with any given chance.

Preventing myself from biting my lip was such a hard task while watching him making his entrance, doing that famous split that always drove me wild. Watching how flexible he was, that amazing tush he had bouncing hard whenever he hit that mat. I had to put my legs together, my brain filling with wild thoughts.

"Contain yourself," Kris whispered to me, noticing how I felt.

"Trust me, I'm trying," I whispered, lowering my voice more, "You know that drives me crazy. I wonder if he could bust a split and park that Mack truck in this little garage."

"Oh my god," Kris blurted, trying to stay quiet, burying her face into her knees, "Why did you have to make that reference?"

"Leave me alone," I giggled, then just barely whispering, "Besides, I know he's packing a mac truck in there."

"You just need a pull a move and get that parked you know where," Kris responded, trying to encourage me to pull a move like usual.

"Believe me, it's tempting," I sighed, leaving our conversation at that, Mike's athletic abilities sure making it an entertaining match.

Kris had to slap my leg multiple times to pull me out of my hypnotism. Mike's flexibility, that amazing body, handsome face. How did she expect me to not be crazy about him? Not only that, the only person who probably knew Mike as I did was his brother Matt.

Mike was seriously the man of my dreams.

As expected, Mike put on a killer match, winning and when it was over, we all went back to the guerrilla to congratulate him on his victory.

"Another beautiful match," Matt smiled, hugging Mike whenever he came down the steps.

"Thanks," Mike huffed, arms opening up to me when I offered him a hug.

"You sure know how to put on a good match. Couldn't keep my eyes off that TV the entire time!" I smiled, Mike, giving me a little squeeze to thank me too.

"Let's go get you cleaned up so we can all head out," Matt commanded, taking Mike and heading off to the locker room, "Y/N, we'll meet you at the car. Sound like a plan?"

"I'll see you guys there," I sighed, going off to and getting my stuff ready.

We have always been traveling buddies too so we had a routine down that we followed religiously. Like always, we were all right on time and headed out to the hotel so we could call it a night, but something was off.

Our drive was awfully quiet which wasn't normal for us. In the back seat, I just zoned out with my earbuds in, but I noticed Matt and Mike talking quietly. Due to the music, I couldn't hear and even when I turned the music down, I still couldn't hear. I hated the fact that I couldn't read lips.

The only thing I could make out was that they were talking about me. Both of them looked up to me quickly in the review mirror multiple times and that made me beyond nervous. I stayed quiet the rest of the time, just getting my suitcase and heading into the hotel to get our keys.

Matt had his room and like usual, Mike and I shared one. Matt's room was on one of the lower floors, so he got off the elevator first. Once Matt was gone, there was nothing but awkward silence, Mike being the first to break when he asked:

"Everything alright, Y/N? You've been quiet."

All of the nervousness was beginning to come back, swallowing it down whenever I mumbled, "I'm just tired."

"That bed in our room is calling my name too, believe me," Mike chuckled, trying to provide some relief and it did make me smile.

When I got to our room, the first thing I did was take a shower, playing some music softly, trying to tell myself that nothing was wrong and the anxiety was nothing. After showering, I threw on my robe, ready to brush my hair and all, but I realized I left it that in my suitcase in the room.

So, I went back into the room, my suitcase right next to the dresser. As I bent over to reach into it, I heard Mike let out a deep breath, shirtless, scooting to the edge of the bed.

"Want to hear something pretty great that I heard tonight?" Mike smiled at me and I thought it was something about wrestling, very curious.

"You get a big match or something? If so, that's awesome!" I assumed, but I got quiet and listened carefully whenever he chuckled, looking away for a moment.

"I'm trying to remember the exact wording," Mike sighed, looking back to me, smiling, "Something about busting a split and parking that Mack truck in a little garage."

Gosh, I had never felt so embarrassed, also ready to kick Matt's butt. I forgot that he was in the room whenever I was joking with Kris. Matt must have good hearing because Kris and I were just barely whispering, like how could he have heard us? That's when I also realized that's what they were talking about in the car.

I just stared at Mike, completely frozen. My brain had nothing, no response, no way to get around it.

"You have always been good at keeping your composure and not letting anyone realize what you're thinking, but I know you best and I know, Y/N," Mike made clear.

The embarrassment grew even more and finally, I said something, standing in front of him, trying to make up for it, "Mike, you do know me best and I'm sorry that I made some inappropriate comments,"

I was going to continue, but Mike caught me off guard, my heart racing whenever he laughed at me, standing up tall, his voice growing into a sexy tone when he said, "Don't be sorry. Let me tell you, I am very good at keeping my composure and I have certain thoughts of my own."

His tongue darted across quickly while looking down at my silk robe and I just couldn't believe what was happening. I thought that I would never have a chance with Mike, but it was happening right now, making my heart going even faster.

"I'm sorry I brought this up so suddenly, but I think we both can agree that it's time to stop fighting our thoughts and express our true feelings," Mike sighed, still smiling at me, seeing how overwhelmed I was.

Mike was right. I was so tired of fighting my thoughts, wanting them to just take over, expressing my feelings by telling him, "Allow me to express mine first."

I just lost control, pull him to me, and kissing him hard. Kissing him, the sweet contact of our lips, it was better than I ever imagined, taking the time to forever remember each touch, even letting my tongue slip in a little.

Goosebumps formed all across my body, the coldness from my robe mixing with the heat steaming off my body when Mike's hands found my hips, smoothly sliding down to my ass, cupping it while he continued to return my kiss, giving a little spice of his own by biting my lower lip, hands coming back up, finding my breast.

"Someone's excited," Mike snickered, thumbs stroking my hardened nipples that were showing through my robe.

"I think I can say the same thing about you," I smirked, lifting my leg between his, sliding against his erection slowly.

"Still want me to bust a split below your equator?" Mike smirked, making a little joke of his own.

"I'm sure you're flexible enough to do it," I giggled, kissing him again, slowly untying my robe.

"You're about to find out," He whispered against my lips, my eyes drifting down to see his hands at his shorts, letting him drop to the floor.

One thing I was right about was that he was packing, biting my lip as that gave me another big rush, my adrenaline starting to pump a little like I was about to head into a match. Next, my robe fell to the floor. Mike's reaction to my body was a sight to see, not fighting his temptations whatsoever when his hands pulled me by the hips and turned me, putting me onto the bed.

At first, we took our time, wanting to explore all over one another, skin on skin while another steamy kiss began. His hands covered my breasts, giving them a good squeeze then began to fall and when they latched onto my hips, that's when I knew the real fun was going to begin.

He slowly placed me on my side, that sexy smile reappearing on his face while lifting my leg, between the two, kind of like a scissor position, but hooking my leg over his shoulder.

"I know you're flexible too," Mike smirked, tapping my ass, pushing my leg up a little higher, "Let me give you a better view."

If I wasn't turned on enough, Mike was giving me, literally what I said, picking himself up off his knees, jumping on the bed a little, and doing his split. His crown was perfectly aligned with my entrance, when he landed, it was stroking it softly, not wasting any more time when he slowly pushed into me.

"Damn, Mike," I whined, looking down to see for myself, seeing every inch slowly push into me till I was full.

"I'm just giving you what you asked for," He smirked, pulling back and then giving me a quick thrust, filling me again.

"I know," I whined, my moans growing while he continued, making sure his hips kept rolling, the tempo getting faster and making all of the pleasure add up quickly, "I love it."

I had to give him a lot of credit, he gave me exactly what I wanted and I was very impressed that he could do all of that in a split. He exceeded my expectations, it made me more curious to see what he was capable of, but with all of those quick thrusts that grew a little rough, that's all I wanted to focus on.

I'm sure he didn't mean to be rough, it was just the quickness, his hips smacking into mine. It made me feel like I was on fire with all of my nerves going nuts and I had never felt so good in my life. He always knew how to make a great time even better, his hands all over me again, teasing my breasts and nipples, soft smacks along my ass, his fingers adding to the pleasure, making my walls clamp up hard by getting my clit wet with my slick, rubbing it up and down, then in circles.

"Mike," I tried to say, but moaned his name like a prayer, giving him all of the praise with moans and babbles, my brain still trying to process everything meanwhile my body was just being poured and overloaded with pleasure.

"Am I better than you thought?" He smirked, knowing that's exactly what I thought, taking my hand while my body was just going crazy, doing whatever it wanted because the pleasure was so much, back arching and all.

"You're so damn good," I about cried, squeezing his hand hard, "You're like a god or something."

My comment made me laugh a little, "I'm just that damn good."

I never wanted this to end, but my body was about ready to give way, my lungs gasping for air. My heartbeat could be felt in every part of my body, the sound echoing in my head, the pulse in my neck and temple throbbing just as hard as my walls were.

"Oh my go-" Mike huffed, letting out some noise of his own, my body showing him how close to the edge I was, "You just want me to go even crazier huh?"

"Go crazy," I encouraged, moaning out salaciously, closing my eyes tightly, "I'm so close to cuming, Mike."

"I can tell," He panted, doubling his efforts, "Squeezing me like that, I already knew."

I took a handful of the bed sheets with both hands when Mike held my thigh hard, using it to revert to the super quickened pace, making sure he smacked my sweet spot every single time, the sound of wet skin slapping growing.

"Mike, I-" I began, my voice giving way, spots forming even with my eyes closed, like stars in the night, feeling all this moisture, it gushing out a little while he was still feeding me thrust, making me whine and moan even louder when I felt him bury himself, adding to the heat that already had me on fire.

We both needed a moment to breathe and recollect ourselves, Mike trying to relieve some of the tension in my body by massaging my leg and side, it helping a lot.

"If I knew what you were truly capable of, I would've made that comment right to you," I giggled, making him laugh too, letting my body relax more whenever he withdrew, slowly putting me on my back.

It felt like I was melting into the mattress, but able to pick up my head with a smile, returning Mike's kiss when he whispered, "I must god-like, as you said."

[allykakamatsu]

Hypothetical P5A

Okay, gonna make this clear right up front, I wanted to make this post for a while but the main reason I decided to do it now is because the Atlus announcement thing is almost here, and also cause I saw a video on this topic by Thorgi’s Arcade (go watch it btw it’s good) and while I agree with a lot of what he said, there’s also some things I’d change, not just cause I disagree, but also cause I think it would be fun. Anyway enough beating around the bush, let’s do this

Gameplay

I’m a firm believer in the phrase, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, and the Arena games are already really good so not much to change. That being said, I still wanna change some things. First off though, we are keeping this 1 vs 1, no tag team matches. The arena games already have a lot of Mechanics going on and trying to keep everything as well as some new stuff WHILE adding a tag team button, yeah no let’s not outside of maybe a bonus mode.

This means I can’t add Batton Pass in as a new mechanic to represent P5, but I have a solution, that being Technicals. Status ailments already exist in this game, so how about when you inflict one and do a specific combo you do more damage, also providing risk vs reward as the player with the status will have a better idea of what the opponent will do making them more predictable. Also as for Persona’s, mostly everyone’s will be fully evolved, minus Yu cause him getting a final boss persona normally is a tad to OP, meanwhile the P5 characters will have their starting Persona’s, but they will evolve for big moves, like awakened mode supers and instant kills

I’m also borrowing Thorgi’s Arcade idea of having supports giving a slight buff in battle, like if you pick Fuuka your meter can build faster for a bit, meanwhile if you pick Futaba you’ll get an attack and defence buff. It’s the fairest way to include them without having to make them playable. I know Rise is already playable but this roster is going to have to be small as it is, and being a support doesn’t mean you can’t be DLC later.

Also, we’re not bringing back the Shadow Characters, just, we are not dealing with the likes of Shadow Naoto again.

:readmore:

Story

I am about to cop out a bit here, but Thorgi’s Arcade video had a really good idea for the story so I’ll just link it here https://youtu.be/yyB5rEM9UVU

To summarise for people who don’t want to watch, Nyarlathotep, the main villain from the Persona 2 games, has been gaining strength from all the suffering humanity has gone through due to 3, 4 and 5, and has gained enough strength to create a new Joker to try finish what he started and destroy the world. Mitsuru might think the Phantom Thieves are behind it cause this is clearly persona related and the fact that the leader of the PT’s is also named Joker is public knowledge, Naoto gets largely the same idea, Katsuya and Maya decide to have their own investigation, meanwhile the Phantom Thieves are trying to prove their innocence and help save the world. Nice excuse to bring everyone together, but who will the everyone be?

Base Roster

Okay, I know the dream is getting everyone from Ultimax back plus the new P5 characters, but given Arc System’s standard for small base rosters, I’m not holding my breath. The ideal would be everyone plus who I’m about to say for P2 and P5, but I’m keeping it… somewhat realistic. Anyway onto the actual size, 16 seems fair enough. One more than the most recent Guilty Gear game for a series that had pretty big success so that sound fair enough. Let’s get the obvious out of the way though, all the base 8 Phantom Thieves besides Futaba are making the cut

Okay so that’s obvious but how will they play? Starting off with Ren/Joker, Smash Bros already laid a great foundation with him being very fast on the ground and in the air plus being great at combos, so I see no reason to change that. Also no need for him to be a Jack of all trades either cause spoilers, Yu is coming back and he already fills that role.

As for the others, Ryuji I can see being a slugger charge hybrid. Basically starting out he hits pretty hard but is a bit on the slow side to compensate, but just like any good athlete, give him a chance to warm up, ie do a charge input, and he becomes a lot faster and has better combo potential. Or we could make him a toned down version of Little Mac where he’s great on the ground but he’s in trouble the second aerial combat is involved. Then there’s Morgana who with his ability to turn into cars and the fact he introduces thief tools like smoke bombs, I can see him being a faster but frailer successor to Teddie.

Then there’s Ann who, no doubt, she’s a Zoner, and with her fire she’ll be Yukiko’s sort of successor. However instead of healing, I’d implement the fact that she learns concentrate and have it so the more she charges it up, the stronger her attacks get, but the Meter will gradually go down over the match. Yusuke, as tempting as it is to cop out and say ‘have him play like Vergil in Marvel vs Capcom’, I have a different idea. Namely, take advantage of the fact that Yusuke can learn counter by having him be the defensive specialist, set up ice traps to freeze the opponent, and if they get close, he can either counter or go for some combos.

Then there’s Makoto who would definitely be a grappler. I mean, she practices Aikido and is really strong, she can 100% pull it off. Finally Haru…… TANK! I mean come on, Haru wields an axe, has a grenade launcher, and Melady is literally a dancing tank in a pink dress, it just makes too much sense. I’d also give her a bit of armor cause if she’s slow she at least needs a chance to get her attacks in.

Okay so that’s 7 out of our 16 slots down, and given that one slot will have to be saved for the Evil Joker who would be the villain, we’re halfway done with 3 games to go, lord help me.

Okay, starting this off with P4, I’m gonna give them more than the others purely because they were the focus of the originals and there’s less realistic cuts I can make compared to 2 and 3. To make things simple, every returning character would play the same, and as for the ones I’d bring back for the base roster, we’ve got Yu, Yosuke, Chie and Naoto. Why them specifically? Well Yu is the main character, Naoto being a detective would basically mean she’d be the one getting everyone involved in the first place, Chie is currently training to be a cop as confirmed in P5 so her getting called in makes sense, and Yosuke is the best investigator after Yu and Naoto, he’s always up for a mystery and the second he learns Yu is involved he’s joining in. I just couldn’t cut him.

Now before the really painful cuts, Persona 2 is really easy. Out of Innocent Sin party members, by the end of the series Maya is the only one left with a Persona, and Katsuya is not only older brother of Innocent Sin’s protag Tatsuya, but he’s also pretty important and a detective so he’s definetly the one Maya’s dragging into this. As for how they play, they both use guns like Naoto, but how I’d mix them up is with Katsuya, I’d let him attack while moving (unlike Naoto who has so stay still to fire) at the cost of less combo potential, meanwhile Maya dual wields her guns so she’ll probably play like Noel Vermillion from BlazBlue where she’d more or less just use the guns to get longer reach melee attacks instead of shooting.

Now, for the hard part. There’s only 2 slots left, one of them basically has to go to Mitsuru (not that I’m complaining I’d probably add her anyway) meaning now I have to choose between the rest of the Shadow Operatives/SEES for the last slot. I narrowed it down to the 3 that were in the original Arena cause they’re the most plot relevant, but that still meant I had to choose between Akihiko and Aigis. I ended up deciding on Aigis though cause A, with Labrys not making the base roster someone has to represent the robots of the series, and B, with Akihiko currently pulling a Ryu by travelling to get stronger, it makes more sense that Aigis would be closer and easier for Mitsuru to call up. Honestly I was tempted to bump the roster up to 17 so I could have both of them on the base roster, but this is ArcSystems, 16 is already kinda pushing it.

DLC

Given that this is a modern fighting game, DLC is inevitable. However since this DLC will likely be like Ultimax where the story acts to wrap up loose ends and have a new story, it’s going yo be big, especially since there’s going to be a fight with Nyaraloptep, so go big or go home in this case. Okay so first order of business, anyone who was in the previous arena games who wasn’t in the base roster is getting added back in, it’s only fair. That out of the way, the new faces I’d add are Futaba actually being playable now and the big 4 P5 characters I skipped, Akechi, Yoshizawa, and Sophie. Before anyone asks though, Sophie was added into a Dragalia Lost collab with Koei Techmo not being credited so she’s likely Atlus’s copyright so she's safe to add.

With that out of the way, how would they play? Starting with Futaba, I’d think she’d be the resident puppet fighter, sitting on top of Necinomicon and only occasionally adding in some of her own attacks like a projectile. Also she'd also probably act as a bit of a grappler cause her Persona has tentacles (no hentai jokes please) which have long reach so that'll be perfect for it. Next up is Akechi who I can see as semi being two characters in one. My basic idea is that at first Akechi will be fighting with Robin Hood and he'll be a solid jack of all trades with a slight focus on rush down. However once he goes into his awakened mode he'll gain Loki, which will increase his speed and attack strength, at the cost of his defence, turning him into a glass cannon.

Next is Yoshizawa, or 'Sumi as I like to call her, and her thing will be she's the mobility focused fighter, namely constantly moving around the stage and poking at her opponent while doing it, at the cost of being frail. Finally there’s Sophie who would be a combo focused zoner, as in her standard projectiles (the yo-yo’s) wouldn’t hurt that much on their own, but she can string them together into the fancy yo-yo tricks to potentially do big damage. As for how much this DLC would cost, it’s going to be very big, so €25 to €30 sounds fair

I think that more or less covers my thoughts. I could keep going on about this for a while, but I think this is a good place to stop. Hope you like my idea!

[cozyforjate]

MacGyver 5x03-Review

MacRiley fam, this will be my last MacGyver review. Thanks for the support and the great feedback on my reviews so far. You guys are awesome! But i’m taking a looong break from this show. I’ll be watching the Jack episode and if we get a Bozer, Matty or Riley centric i’ll tune in to watch. But my passion and excitement for this show is mostly over now.

I have so many things to say about 5x03 but if i start to express all my feelings i’m afraid i might break Tumblr. LOL 

This probably wouldn’t feel like a proper review coz i’m gonna focus on the RETCON that the writers pulled out of their asses to keep MacDesi together.

Ok so for people who are not familiar with the word “retcon”; it means changing an aspect of a fictional work by introducing a piece of new information, typically used to facilitate a dramatic plot shift or account for an inconsistency.

The writers usually pull a retcon, when one aspect of an already canon plot isn’t working well. You can call it a “fix-it” method.

In terms of MacDesi, they retconned some moments from season 4 that defined this relationship. I think the new showrunner and the writers team realized that MacDesi has become quite “toxic” during season 4. But because the additional episodes kept them together, they needed to at least fix this relationship.

From their POV it’s understandable to a degree. But from a viewers POV it’s total BS. Because what we watched in season 4, can’t be changed.

We remember the unhealthy dynamic between them, we remember the lack of trust between them, we remember how incompatible they were, we remember how they couldn’t communicate with each other, we remember Mac not letting her in emotionally, not opening up to her at all, we remember how much they BOTH hurt each other, we remember Mac’s own words on their relationship.

Most importantly we still remember 4x12. How quickly Desi turned her back on him, how she brought his mothers and aunts names into their ugly fight, how Mac said he’d say anything to get her off his back, we remember how she and Russ left Mac no choice but to improvise a plan to save lives, we remember Riley risking everything to protect him and be there for him. WE REMEMBER.

So when you dismiss all of that and re-write MacDesi as if they’re this great couple, it’s not going to work for people. And when you tease MacRiley the whole week with promos, exclusive pictures, articles, SM promotion; promising progress between Mac and Riley only to walk over everything that made them special, you get a lot of NEGATIVE reaction from the fans. With good reason.

* * *

Episode started with Mac and Riley on a picnic mission. The scene was amazing in every sense. The colors, lighting, the conversation between them, the almost kiss, the way Mac held Riley and they lied down for a while, the smug smile on his face and the looks he gave to Riley were all awesome! The car chase was super fun too!

But then everything went down the toilet. Coz in the next scene Mac was complaining to Bozer about how Desi wasn’t spending time with him and avoiding his date attempts. In this scene they retconned Bozer too. For the first time, Bozer encouraged Mac to go ask Desi out and fix their relationship.

Normally Bozer would never do such a thing. Why? Bcoz he’s been against a romantic relationship between them ever since Desi first showed up in 3x14. Bozer thought it was a bad idea from the start, called them Mesi (messy), he didn’t think it was a good idea to bring Desi back on the team in 4x01, coz MD break up was NUCLEAR. So up until 5x03 Bozer was never on Team MacDesi. Lets also remember this exchange between them:

In 4x12 when Bozer was trying to save Mac and Riley’s lives, he turns to Desi... 

Bozer: Desi, back me up here.

Desi: Sometimes we need to sacrifice the things we love for the greater good.

So after 4x12, one would only expect that his thoughts on MD would get stronger. But guess what? Bozer is now supporting MD. Just like that. I don’t buy it writers, sorry.

Back to the scene… Mac wants to go on a date with Desi. And he is so desperate about it. We had to witness one of the most awkward scenes between them. Not only that but we had to sit through Riley throwing smiles at MD, saying her feelings for Mac was just Codex adrenaline. Riley, who couldn’t watch any interaction between MD, is now totally cool with them!

And lets just say that Riley was pretending she’s over Mac, that she lied to Bozer bcoz she’s trying to move on. We already watched her having feelings for Mac, hiding those feelings and pining for him. Her one-sided love can’t drive the plot anymore. 

Besides she didn’t need to give her blessings to MD. It was an overkill. I really hated the scene where she says “Don’t screw up this time” to Mac…That was totally out of character for Riley.  

Riley who reminded Desi that Russ & her were gonna nuke them,

Riley who said she went after Mac coz she trusted him &asked Desi "Why didn't you?",

Riley who risked it all to protect Mac, tells Mac not to screw it up with Desi.

By saying those words, Riley makes it known that Mac was the one screwing up his rl with Desi. Desi had no fault. Once again the writers used my favorite character to prop my least favorite character. Shame on you!

***

I’m not gonna talk about every MacDesi scene in this episode. But let me just say that the writers turned Mac into a desperate, begging, lovesick puppy. He asked Desi for a date like 5 times, apologized twice. Kissed her out of the blue. Bcoz lets face it, that scene was so unnecessary. Nobody was onto them, the police car was passing by slowly and if the police were really suspicious, why would they look at the couple kissing instead of checking who’s in the car? So stupid. Oh and while they were kissing for minutes with great lighting and all, General Ma escaped. Mac acting this stupid, is not something we are used to see. But what you gonna do? I guess love is not only blind but also destroyes brain cells in the process.

Anyway, Mac literally begging Desi to go on a date with him was agonizing to watch. Every time he offers a new dating idea, Desi’s answer is NAH. Back in the picnic scene she made it sound like she wanted to date Mac, but of course she needs to make him suffer first!

I only like to point out the scene where Mac –finally- opened up to Desi about the fishing trip he and his father went together. This story is obviously precious to him. He called it a happy memory. Clearly he misses his father, still mourning for his loss. So he shared his happy memory and asked if she would like to go fishing with him. Desi’s answer? “Not gonna go fishing with you as our first date!” You can read the dissapointment on his face. And my heart breaks for Mac but this kind of treatment is something he’s asking for.

He is desperate to get Desi back. The fact that they are the worst match ever, doesn’t change sh*t. Mac wants Desi and he loves Desi for god knows why.

***

Btw- the whole “lets blame only Mac for Codex and ignore Desi’s wrongdoings” plot is disgusting. Yes, Mac suffocating Desi and Russ to escape Phoenix with Scarlett was wrong. Yes he hurt her, yes in a sense he betrayed her. AND HE APOLOGIZED. But what about Desi? What about her betrayel? 

First they made Riley apologize to Desi for following Mac and now they made Mac apologize… But no apologies from Desi. The writers are obviously worshipping Desi and they’re ready to sacrifice every character to make her look “perfect”. I’m sorry but i’m not here to watch the Desi show, or more MacDesi nonsense.

***

Mac said Desi is the woman he loves… but not only that, she is also the woman who guided him back. And the RETCON is really strong with this scene.

Lets remember…

In 4x08 Mac loses his father, at the end of the episode Desi wants to go with Mac but Mac stops her, telling he’d see her tomorrow.

In 4x09 Desi says he can share his burden with her, Mac’s not interested, he says what he needs is to stop Codex.

In 4x10 Mac makes apocalypse kits for Riley and Desi. Desi’s so happy she got a crossbow and didn’t think those kits were a bad sign. But Riley notices that Mac is not in a good place, he needed help and support. Riley shares her concerns about Mac with Desi. She probably thinks it’s not up to her to be the one doing that when Desi is the girlfriend. So after her conversation with Riley, Desi makes soup and gives Mac a compass. Saying he’s not lost (he clearly was tho). She askes if everything’s ok, he looks different but Mac says, he’s just tired.

In 4x12 Mac is lying in bed, lost in his own mind, he gets up, leaves the compass on her side of the nightstand… On the run he ignores Desi’s calls.

Then things get really ugly for MacDesi. Desi says “You are so drunk on somescrewed-up cocktail of your mom, your aunt, Codex science...”… She says “You're compromised”…  Mac was just trying to get Scarlett on their side to stop Codex but Desi couldn’t see it. She thought Mac was losing it!

And then Desi sides with Russ and turns her back on Mac. Russ dismisses Mac from the Codex mission. Mac's forced to improvise. Bcoz he wants to stop Codex without bloodshed.

So as you can see they completely re-wrote the events of 4x12 to fix MD.

Desi says: “I had front-row seats to the war that raged in you last year, and I can't do that again. Lose you.”

She was ready to sacrifice him for the greater good. But yeah, sure! Why not.

Mac says: “Des, I know it looked like I was lost, but you were there the whole time, guiding me back home.”

THE WHOLE TIME.

In 3 times she “tried” to be there for him, Mac didn't let her in emotionally but lets just say that she brought him back to his senses.

Lets just say that the compass he left on her side of the nightstand represents that it guided him back. (btw lets also ignore that the compass Mac gave Desi back was a different one. Who knows, maybe he threw it in the garbage during the pandemic and bought a new one)

Lets just forget who really brought him back. Lets just ignore what Riley did for Mac. How she saved him, how she was the one who risked everything for Mac. How she was the one there by his side when they were facing a missile.

Only if we forget and retcon history we can all buy MacDesi. 

But i can’t… I can’t forget, i’m not ok with a retconned half-ass love story that they want to sell with MD. I can’t sit through the episodes and keep watching the “flawless Desi” show.

This show isn’t entertaining to me anymore. I can’t recognize Mac, i’m pissed that my fav characters are being used as tools to prop Desi.

One last thing before i say my final goodbyes:

The lighting in this episode was so weird. In almost every scene, heavy light effects distracted me. Usually they use it when they show you a flashback, a dream or a hallucination to seperate the real-time scenes from others. But this episode had them from the start to the end. So i don’t know what to make of this.

Some of the dialogues had subtexts…

Leland to Russ: Now, I know you don't care about much in this world, but even the best of us can be blinded by those we love.

General Ma to Mac: I was blinded by him (Leland) once. I-I won't be blinded again.

Mac: Many things blind us. Anger, betrayal, even love. But sometimes, a little blindness can work to your advantage. You can create a fog that will cause the world around you to disappear.

Normally i would dive deep into the subtextland. But i don’t think the writers were trying to give some deep message or anything. 

I do believe that Mac is totally blinded by his “idea” of love… But i’m done waiting for him to open his eyes. The Mac i watched in this episode is not My Mac.

Writers made their choice. They made Mac's feelings crystal clear. He's all about Desi. At this point, Desi breaking up with him would mean nothing to me. Just like Riley still having feelings for Mac means nothing anymore.

Official accounts tweeting “There’s more to come for MacRiley” means nothing to me anymore.

Noone wants a rebound plot but unfortunately it's the only possibility they left to MacRiley. My ship is tainted forever. 

And as a Riley stan, i don’t want this Mac with my girl. She deserves better.

[littlechinesedoll]

Long Apple rant. 

This is regarding an issue where the biggest reseller of Apple products in my country, does not want to replace a woman’s Macbook with factory defect, which arose within a month of usage. The MacBook in question is a MacBook Pro M1 bought in March 2021. She’s had a very terrible time with Apple support, and they kept her laptop saying they were waiting for parts, kept transferring it from one repair shop to another, and blamed her for not returning the laptop within 7 days (which is the law), when the defect only arose a month later. The MacBook still isn’t repaired and she still hasn’t gotten her MacBook back yet.

The issue I think, with the MacBook the PowerMac Center won't replace is not because it's out of the seven day replacement period, but because they literally do not know how to repair the MacBook. The new MacBooks probably have zero reparability. Also because PowerMac Center has shit customer service. Feeling Apple Store. 

I had an Acer laptop break down three months before the warranty expired. Went to Acer in Paco, Manila, told them the problem, and left my laptop there. After about a day or two they said the problem was the motherboard. They replaced it and I got it back a few days later. Replacing the motherboard is like already giving you a new laptop. And they didn't charge me anything. I took it back about a month later to have it cleaned out just before the warranty expired. Didn't charge me anything. Easy as pie.

If "Apple Geniuses" in the US or "engineers" here in the PH knew how to fix your defective/broken MacBook, they can give it back to you in no time. But they don't know how to fix it, because Apple designs these machines to be as difficult to repair as possible, or impossible to repair, so that when it breaks, you have no choice but to buy another one. They do this by soldering everything in, using proprietary screws so that you can't fix the device yourself, and serializing parts so that you can't use them to repair other devices. They said they're waiting for parts from Singapore. These parts probably don't even exist. I don't even think they produce parts in Singapore. The company that manufactures parts for Apple products are both in Taiwan. 

If you want to know more about how Apple Products have shit reparability, please visit the following people on YouTube: Louis Rossmann, Hugh Jeffreys, and Jessa Jones from iPad Rehab. Please support Right to Repair. 

There has been news that Apple is claiming it didn’t hit targets because people were having their iphones repaired instead of buying new iphones (read it here: https://www.apple.com/.../letter-from-tim-cook-to.../...) 

And then when you go to Apple Genius Bars to have your Macs checked out, they’ll overestimate the repair for your laptop and just tell you to buy another one because it’s too expensive to repair it, even if the actual repair just takes shoving a good connector back into its slots.

Louis Rossmann is a person fighting for Right to Repair and he despises Apple to his very core that his mission is to fix every MacBook he can get his hands on just to spite Apple ahahaha I love him. 

Here are some of his videos: > Here’s a video from cbc news where they consult Louis after going to the genius bar “Genius Bar caught ripping customer off ON CAMERA” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_XneTBhRPYk&t=1s

And another girl being ripped off by the Genius Bar saying they can’t repair her laptop, when the problem was they just didn’t shove the battery connector back into the motherboard well enough: https://youtu.be/K1A9y4S60kg

Jessa Jones from iPad Rehab also has been repairing and retrieving data from iphones that genius bars/apple centers claim cannot be retrieved or saved: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPjp41qeXe1o_lp1US9TpWA

Also check out Hugh Jeffreys who fixes iPhones and shows you that iPhones serialize parts so that you can’t have parts replaced on newer iPhone because the phones disable themselves when new parts are placed in https://www.youtube.com/user/hughydo

I’m NOT that much of a hater, because I use a MacBook and an iPhone for work, and an iPad for personal use and media consumption, and I’m a cheap fuck so I’ll never really get my own mac or a new iPhone (I have an iPhone 6 Plus) but these practices are insane. 

But I get why people use it. It “feels premium” and “is designed so well” and “the ecosystem works so well with each other across all devices” and of course, “I look so cool using it.” I also acknowledge that Apple has made considerable leaps and bounds when it comes to technology and their ecosystem, but that doesn't mean I don't think it's shit. And they keep competitors on their toes (also burning them to the ground when they enter a new market—bye Tiles), but holy shit these practices, man. 

Apple also claims that they're going green right? But if they don't let you repair and they don't repair their devices, what happens to all the other broken devices? That all goes to a landfill. They want to go green and save paper by not giving you a charger in the box? Well it takes more boxes and more plastic when you buy that charger either from them, or from an online store. It takes more boxes, more plastic, more bubble wrap, more gas!! More emissions!! To deliver that charger to you!! THAT’S NOT GREEN AT ALL. Just because they're "reducing their footprint" doesn't mean it's going be the same for everybody else that's fulfilling their jobs to get the thing to you, the user.

There was an issue where they sued a disposal company for repairing and reselling all the working iPhones they gave to them to destroy. Why destroy something that can be repaired or still used? Granted they have the right to sue cos the disposal company didn't do as asked, but why would they have all those working devices destroyed? Because they don't want you to repair your Apple device. They want it to stay broken so you buy a new one. You can read that here: https://www.washingtonpost.com/.../apple-geep-iphone.../

Basically, Apple still wants control over the device you bought from them. It’s like saying you buy a car from Ford, but you can’t use tires that aren’t from Ford, because if you do use tires from Bridgestone, the car won’t work. And if you bring the car to Ford, they’ll say they can’t fix your tires, so you have to buy a new car. That’s fucking stupid.

some more stuff on right to repair to help you understand it: 

MKBHD: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RTbrXiIzUt4

Linus Tech Tips: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvVafMi0l68

Louis Rossmann: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Npd_xDuNi9k

Also a video from Linus Tech Tips where Apple refused to fix their iMac Pro: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9-NU7yOSElE

[jobrookekarev]

All of My Secrets

Chapter: 1/1

Words: 3201

Summary: Jo tells Alex about her abortion and her past with Paul.

Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy.

Relationship: Alex Karev/Jo Wilson and Jo Wilson/Paul Stadler (Past).

Characters: Jo Wilson and Alex Karev.

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences.

Additional Tags: Talk of abortion, Reference to Domestic Violence, Pregnancy, Reeses the Dog, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Set in the Karev Chronicles. 

Read at AO3

Read at FFN

AN: Bring tissues

……………………………………………………………………

Jo stared out the window as Alex drove over to the hospital. They estimated that she was around eight weeks now and Carina had her set up with her first appointment and ultrasound today. They were headed into work right now and the appointment was on their lunch break rather than on a day off so as not to arouse suspicion from everyone around them. Jo knew that Carina would ask her about her medical history and she knew she should tell Alex she had been pregnant before the appointment. 

This morning when Alex woke her up with a smile and said she was eight weeks. He was so excited and so was she, but then it hit her. She was eight weeks pregnant, a week more than she was when she was pregnant last time. 

For the first week after she found out she was pregnant the first time with Paul, Jo wanted to keep it. She thought she could keep it. A part of her thought that Paul would change and that he wouldn’t hit her anymore, but then he kicked her until he broke her ribs and threw her across the living room floor. After that, Jo realized that regardless of her pregnancy, he would always abuse her. Paul wouldn't change and she knew he would hurt their baby too. Having the abortion was her first act of rebellion against him, which led her to form a plan to leave him. 

Her pregnancy this time around was extremely different, Jo was safe and loved. Alex had been there from the beginning and he was so kind to her. He was helpful and caring in a special way and it was so good. He would carry her to the bed after she fell asleep on the couch. He always cleaned up after her when she accidentally vomited on the floor. He had taken over most of the household chores so she could rest. He made her mac and cheese every day because it was the only thing she could keep down. More importantly, Jo knew that Alex would never lay a hand on her or their child. She was so happy too, they were both so happy to have a child together, and sometimes they would just glance at each other and share an excited smile.

Yet, memories of her past pregnancy had come up like a sense of deja vu. When she threw away the pregnancy tests and had the urge to hide them. When the smell of cooked broccoli turned her stomach, or when she woke up in a panic because she left the dishes in the sink. It was only for a moment, but the lingering fear of Paul's abuse still haunted her. All morning she had thought about how to tell Alex about her pregnacy and abortion. She didn't fear telling him, she just kept the secret for so long she didn't know how to say it.

“Hey,” Alex's voice and his hand on her leg bouncing up and down, pulled her out of her head. She didn't realize they had stopped moving and were parked in the parking lot until he spoke. “Jo?” 

His look of worry deepened as she turned to look at him. Her chest quivered as she tried to take a deep breath in and Jo reached out her hand to him. Alex grasped her hand and held it close to his chest before he gave it a squeeze. Every woman's experience with abortion was different, for Jo it had to be a secret to keep herself safe. She buried it inside of her. She pushed it down for so long. She hadn’t told anybody about it, back then to keep herself safe. When she left, it felt like an unnecessary thing to bring up, but as she looked over at Alex now, she knew that she didn't have to keep it inside anymore. 

Yet, everything about Paul still hurts. There was an ache in her chest whenever memories of him came flooding back. Jo focused on Alex, who was good and safe, and tried to remember that she was okay. It took her a few deep breaths to finally calm down as she opened her eyes and looked over at him again. He was safe and she would be safe if she told him. He wouldn't lash out, he wouldn't hurt her, Alex was safe.

“I've been pregnant before and I had an abortion.” Jo finally managed to say as she looked over at him. She took another deep breath after the words left her lips and she continued. “That's why I knew that I was pregnant, despite the false negative. My symptoms, the way I felt, it’s exactly how it was the last time I was pregnant.”

Jo paused as she watched Alex take in the news. He rubbed his hand over his cheek and his eyes were wide as he looked away to the parking lot in front of them. Jo squeezed his hand and that seemed to bring him back. As he looked at her, she could tell that he was still in shock, but she could see he was slowly absorbing what she had said.

“Jo, are you saying that you,” Alex sighed, as he struggled to say what he wanted. “Are you saying that you, that you were pregnant and I didn't know? Was it after, was it when we were broken up after I hurt DeLuca?”

“No, no,” Jo said quickly, shaking her head. “It wasn't when I was with you.” 

“Okay,” Alex said, letting out a breath as he nodded and looked over at her squeezing her hand. “Does that mean it was with him?”

Alex looked over at her and she knew that the answer was in her eyes.

“It was before I left Paul. I found out I was pregnant and at the time I thought I could keep it, but then he threw me across the room and I knew I couldn't. I didn't know how to leave him then, but I knew I couldn't bring a child into that world. I knew that they couldn't fear Paul like I did. I was seven weeks along when I had an abortion.”

Jo didn't regret her abortion, the moment it was done she felt nothing but relief, relief that it was over, and that she didn't have to fear for anyone else's life. Although she still feared for her own. But it wasn't an easy thing to do, and the weight of it all, the fact that she had to do it in the first place because she was married to a monster. The fact that she couldn't tell anybody in fear that he would kill her because of it, kept her silent all these years. 

“That's part of the reason why I was so terrified to have kids, not because of you, never because of you Alex,” Jo said as she reached out and brushed his cheek with her hand.

“I always knew that you would be an amazing father and that you would love and support our kid no matter what. But the last time that I thought about bringing a child into this world, all I could think about was how much pain and sorrow they would go through because their father was a monster. I knew that they would never be free of him. Even if I left while I was pregnant. If Paul found out he would fight me for custody and he would probably win and if I raised the child with him they would see the way that he abused me and they would internalize that. Or worse, he would eventually start to hurt them as well, because, because they cried for too long, or because they threw a tantrum, or because they didn't get good grades, or for no reason at all. I thought that he would start hitting them because hitting me wasn't enough…”

Jo trailed off as her voice started to break because the heartache and pain that Paul brought to her life was still a wound that right now, felt fresh. She would normally blame her hormones, but everything about Paul and about her past was hard to talk about. Even now therapy had helped a little bit but the memories still held the pain of her abuse. 

“Oh Jo,” Alex said as he tilted his head and kissed the hand she had held against him and with the other hand he reached out and gently held her face as he rubbed his thumb along her cheek.

“I was just so terrified to bring a child into the world back then that I swore off having kids because there was too much pain and too much heartbreak. I knew that if I had a child and I died that they would end up in foster care like we did with no one to look out for them.”

“Jo, that's not going to happen to our kid ever,” Alex's voice was a whisper as he gently reassured her. “Our kid is going to have Meredith, and Link, and Amelia, and Maggie and hell, even Levi and Bailey and there's a whole hospital of people who would make sure that our child would be okay if anything ever happened to us.”

“I know,” Jo said with a smile because she knew his words were true. “Our child has a whole family of people that love and adore them already and they would step up and take care of them and I am so grateful for that, but that doesn't change how I feel and what I went through, but right now I have you and things are good. I love you and our baby and I’m so happy to be a mom.” 

Jo closed her eyes as she finished taking in a deep breath and letting it out. The tears that had collected in her eyes started to fall down her cheeks. 

“I just wanted you to know and now you know all of my secrets,” Jo said with a slight smile as she looked over at Alex, letting out a breath as she felt the weight of it lift off of her. “You know everything about me.”

Alex just nodded and Jo could tell that he didn't know what to say, but he squeezed her hand and that was enough. Just his mere presence had always been a comfort to her. Jo took a deep breath as she looked away from him. 

“The only other person I told about this was my birth mom. I don't know why I told her about it. I just, I wanted to connect with her, but I didn't ever view that pregnancy as a piece of Paul, the way she saw me as a piece of, of my birth father. She couldn't even stand to touch me. I, I reached out my hand to her and she, she pulled away.” 

Jo’s face contorted into a grimace. She squeezed her eyes shut as if it would stop the tears and tried to take a deep breath, but it came out in a shaky whimper. Alex knew all of this of course she had eventually open up to him about everything that she and her birth mom had spoken about with the exception of her abortion. 

Jo put a hand over her belly as if she was holding her baby. She couldn't wait until she was actually showing so she could feel something under her hand. “I will never do that to our baby, I love them so much already and I will never pull away from them, I don't think I could ever let them go.”

Alex reached out to her placing one arm around her shoulders as if he could try and hold her despite the console between them. “You can have them 24/7 if you want, you can hold them for as long as you need, okay.”

Jo looked over at him and nodded her head and pulled her hand back as she looked down at her belly. Jo didn't break out into sobs, but the tears kept falling. She just sat in the car with trembling breaths and tears, twirling her wedding rings around her finger over and over again. She was waiting to fall apart, but for what she didn't know.

“Hang on, I'm going to come around to you,” Alex said and she barely heard the door open and shut before he raced around the car and opened her door. 

He leaned over to hug her and it was a little awkward, but she put her head on his shoulder and let out a sigh. Alex's arms were safe, like a castle she could take refuge in and Jo fell apart. Her silent tears turned into wails as she cried against his shoulder. Her sobs echoed around the parking garage and the tears seemed never ending as she clung to Alex. 

Jo clung to him and he undid her seatbelt. They switched places so she could sit in his lap and Jo put a hand on her belly. As they sat in the parking garage Alex just rubbed up and down her back holding her. Eventually, Jo cried herself out and leaned her head against his shoulder. She was suddenly incredibly tired, something she was now realizing was just the effect of her pregnancy, and closed her eyes as she sighed. 

“Why don’t we go home?” Alex asked, running his hand up her back as attentive to her as ever. “We’ll call in sick, Carina will understand and Hayes can cover my service. I'll call your therapist, Carly and Michelle, and see if they have an opening today. Do you want to cancel your prenatal appointment as well or just lie when we come in later, and say that’s why we're there?”

“We can keep the appointment, but I just want to go home,” Jo said with a nod. 

She spent all her energy and now she knew there was no way she could physically or emotionally work today. All she wanted to do was crawl up on the couch with Reeses and rest her head in Alex's lap. 

Alex didn't move right away. He held her until she almost fell asleep and then he slipped out from behind her. Alex buckled her in, kissed her forehead, and Jo was out like a light. She woke up to the squeaky door of their loft opening as Alex carried her in. She tightened her grip around his neck as Alex walked over to the couch. 

He sat down and Reeses jumped up next to her. Jo pulled him into her lap and she thought she'd fall asleep again, but then she got a whiff of his puppy breath. Jo leaned forward and puked right there on the carpet before she even knew she was going to do it. 

“I'm sorry, I'm so sorry,” Jo said, shaking her head as she tensed up. She expected him to yell and scream at her, to hit her, but he didn’t. Alex wasn't Paul, he was so much better. 

“Hey, none of that, it’s okay,” Alex said, as he rubbed her back and grabbed Reeses, holding him back, knowing that he would try and eat it. “It was an accident, I'm not mad, it's okay.”

Jo nodded as she took in his words and settled against the couch taking Reeses. Alex had been more understanding than she could ever have imagined, as she had thrown up unexpectedly a dozen times over the past few weeks since they found out she was pregnant. Jo closed her eyes as she leaned back against the couch and Alex rubbed her back. Every time she threw up Alex would rub her back before he cleaned up after her. It was nice, especially as it had gotten to the point that Jo was barely able to keep anything down. 

Alex came back when he was done, she lifted up her head so he could sit and she laid down with her head on his lap. Alex ran his fingers through her hair, brushing it out before he began to braid it into a French braid. Jo had never learned to braid hair. Growing up no one taught her or did it for her. At one foster home there was a doll with long blonde hair that she loved. She tried so hard to braid it just like her foster sister had done, but it just ended up in a tangled mess that she got punished for later so she gave up on it. It never really mattered until she got older and she needed to learn how to put her hair up for surgery, but even then she usually just threw it up in a bun. However, one time Alex offered to braid it for her. He had learned how to braid hair so he could do Amber's hair and now most days before surgery he braided her hair for her, even without her asking. It was one of those little acts of love that Jo loved so much.

“Thank you for cleaning up after me.”

“No problem, I’d rather you only puke once instead of a dozen times like you would if you tried to clean it up yourself. Besides I’m used to it from the Ped’s floor, Arizona and Addison used to punish me with diaper changes and vomit clean up,” Alex said with a shrug as if it was nothing.

“I still appreciate it, I appreciate everything you do for me Alex,” Jo said as she reached up to hold his cheek. “With you, I feel safe. I trust you. I know that you will never hurt me or our child. You will always do everything in your power to protect us and take care of us. From the moment we found out I was pregnant, I never worried about our baby or you, because you’re a good man, Alex and I could never ask for a better husband or a better father for my child.” 

Alex seemed overwhelmed with her words. She knew it was the most meaningful thing she could ever say to him, as it was everything he strived to be and every word was true. He smiled and kissed her hand before he leaned down and kissed her forehead. 

All three of them curled up on the couch and put a movie on. Jo looked up at Alex from her place on his lap, it was a weird angle and she mostly just got his chin, but she loved it. She closed her eyes and fell asleep in his lap again, knowing she was safe in his arms.

[boolproppin]

UGH, I want to ask all of them for Adam and Helmi (because they are my favorite) but I will behave and only ask... all the even numbers. akjsdaskdjas I'm sorry I just want to know all the things. ;-;

I will answer all of them for you my friend <3 

1. Who’s the one who’s reckless and always getting into trouble while the other gotta pull em out

They are both very level headed, however if one of them got themselves into trouble it would more likely be Adam who would follow his ideals and being a standup guy (unintentionally getting himself into a pickle). Helmi would need to talk some sense into him and help him see the grey area.

2. Who’s the one to send the other “I love my gf/bf” memes

This would so be Adam! He’s only recently learned about memes and gets a pretty good kick out of them. He would absolutely EMAIL them to Helms.

3. Who’s the one who listens to a music genre the other doesn’t like and how does the other react

Helmi listens to indie pop which Adam just can’t seem to get into. He usually has a confused look on his face and then “recommends” putting on some Fleetwood Mac. 

4. Which one spoils the other more and do they ever get competitive to show the other more love

Adam! They aren’t competitive though, they both have a very sweet way of spoiling each other in different ways. 

5. How many years did it take to get married or was it just not for them

This is still up in the air ;) 

6. What was their wedding like

IF they got married it would be low key, minimal, and a small group of friends at an outdoor celebration. Their first dance would be to I Only Have Eyes for You by The Flamingos

7. Is their friends/family supportive

Helmi’s family and friends are very supportive of her meeting and starting a relationship with Adam. As far as Adam’s family...ehhhh, but his bestie Rayland is all for him moving forward in his life and being with someone he adores.  

8. How does one comfort the other when the other is in distress/having a panic attack/crying

Adam to Helmi: blankets, tea, and cuddles Helmi to Adam: words of affirmation and hugs

9. Which one dissociates

Neither 

10. Which one stares at the other’s booty like “damn” and how does the other react when catching them

Adam fo’ sho. Helmi just shakes her head, “there’s nothing even there to stare at!” 

11. When they live together what kinda place do they live in? What does their home look like?

Small home with mid-century modern feel. 

12. What do their dates look like

Randomness! Adam and Helmi have so much to show each other with the age gap. A night out to the movies ends up being an adventure of watching buskers, stopping at random bazaars, checking out random shops. 

13. How does each act when getting drunk

Helmi- flirty and DTF  Adam- Sadsies, but easily coaxed into a better mood ;)

14. Which one rolls over in the morning to wake up the other one just to give kiss them

Adam for sure, he’s an old man so he gets up early.

15. Have they saved each other’s lives before

I think they both did in a sense, they aren’t just existing anymore. 

16. Does one have an interest the other think is weird but wants to listen to it regardless

Yes! Adam is insanely obsessed with Fleetwood Mac/Stevie Nicks (probably why he just thinks Helms is the most gorgeous thing he’s ever seen). Helmi just loves how he lights up and gets excited when talking about them/her. 

17. Which one uses cropped hentai as reaction images

NEITHER LMAO

18. Does one of them kinkshame the other

I think Helmi would vanilla shame Adam, “you know they’ve invented more positions since missionary?”

19. Is one of them self conscious about their body? If so how does the other comfort them

They are both pretty content, however I could see Adam getting self conscious if he met some of the models Helmi is around.

20. Say they were cuddling on the bed while listening to record player playing the background. Which song is playing?

My Girl by The Temptations

21. What is their song? Like the song that gives them overwhelming feelings?

Bring It On Home To Me by Sam Cooke

22. What song do they listen to while going on a joyride

Renee by SALES 

Adam likes the “hey you got it” part.

23. What kinda joyrides do they go on? Relaxing ones or wild ones?

Relaxing. Visit a small town or go to a beach nearby. Stop by some of the shops along the way.

24. Where would they vacation for a honeymoon

Brindleton Bay

25. Do people ever get annoyed of their pda

Not at all, they are the couple that holds each others hands or are close to each other, a peck on the cheek or lips. 

26. Would they live in the city or the country

Country but not too far from the city.

27. Which ones the red which ones the blue

Helmi is red, Adam blue

28. Are either of them mentally ill, if so how do they help one another cope

Adam has depression and Helmi has anxiety. They help each other by listening, going to counseling, and checking in with each other. 

29. Does one have a spot on them where they would melt when the other kisses them there

Helms melts when he kisses her hand. 

30. Do they dance together

Oh yes, many an impromptu dance sesh when the record player is on.

31. Do they sing together

Yes and they both are HORRENDOUS singers.

32. Which one is better at cooking than the other and makes most the dinners

Adam is a better cook so he would definitely make more of the dinners.

34. Are they a reckless couple or safe

Safe!

35. What be they kinks and do they try each other’s kinks

Adam would love to do the deed while Helmi wears his lettermans jacket. As for Helmi she loves the thrill of having sex in public.  As far as trying each others? We’ll have to see!

36. What would their valentines gifts be to each other

Adam would get the old school boxed valentines cards (the kind you took to elementary school) and would write something sweet along with a box of chocolates.  Helmi...probably in his letterman’s jacket waiting for him to come home. 

37. Do they get into fights often? If so what do they fight over and how do they make up?

Not often. They would most likely fight about Adam’s idealistic tendencies or insecurities. Making up would consist of apologies and cinnamon rolls.

38. Which ones top, bottom, verse

Het couple so verse?

39. What kinda sex they be having (gentle rough whatever)

Gentle but also a tiny bit rough at times.

40. Who would fight in honor for the other if someone would insult them

Both! No one messes with theirs! 

41. Which one has a favorite movie that they have the other watch with them again and again

Helmi does which is 50 First Dates

42. How would one react if the other was to die

Inconsolable. I don’t think either of them would ever move on.

43. Who dies first

Helmi

44. Do they want kids

Adam can’t have children and his only child Rhiannon was conceived with IVF, but that is no longer an option. Helmi is okay with not having children, she’s never considered having her own. 

45. How would they spend their last moments together

Dancing while the record player is on.

[trvelyans-archive]

i am on my hands and knees begging for u to tell me about lila and margot 🙏

jasmine.............. thank you for this gift

under the cut because i expect it’ll get very long <3 :) update after i finished writing: it is, in fact, very long and also took me over an hour. so. take that as whatever sort of warning you might want.

let’s start with margot !

she was born to a couple of really young parents who..... did not want to be parents. at all. they were still in the party-and-get-drunk phase of their life and didn’t want to have a kid to worry about, so a large part of her childhood was spent couch surfing between relatives, mostly her grandfather.

they were really close! he would help her with her homework, they would cook together, he would let her drink underage so that she was well-versed in beer by the time she was like. idk. 16 lol. but she felt closer to him than her own parents, who were good when they were around but. they mostly weren’t around <3

when she was 19, her grandpa starting showing pretty serious signs of memory loss and whatnot and eventually had to be moved into a home. she was living with him by that point, so she had to continue to spend a year or so of her adult life couchsurfing. it didn’t help that she was in school full-time to get an engineering degree of. some kind. i think mechanical engineering. idk. and didn’t have a job, so to pay back her roommates she took up a majority of the housework as well as picked up odd jobs on the weekend. her grandpa’s health continued to decline through this time so she didn’t actually mind being busy because then she. didn’t have to think about it at all <3

and then.............. when she was 20......... her boyfriend of a year  suggested that she not only move in with him but that they get married and margot, who has never had stability ever in her life, jumped at the opportunity !

after she graduated, she found it incredibly hard to find a career (even though they were in the same program and He had no trouble finding one), so she was back to not working but her husband didn’t mind and he supported her whole-heartedly. during this time she started running and then eventually started going to a gym with a couple of her female friends from their neighbourhood! she would also spend a lot of time at her grandpa’s but his health was still rapidly declining. eventually her now-husband said that she should probably stop visiting him and margot was like “.... ok i guess”

And then. :)

she kept spending time outside of the house and started taking self-defense classes with a few of her friends and her husband was started to get very antsy. he wanted her to be at home, told her that he didn’t like her going out at night or, eventually, at all, and would find ways to keep her home every night so she didn’t go out. during this time he also started getting. um. very manipulative. he was easily triggered into starting arguments. so she increased the frequency of her self-defense classes and, eventually, they became Very Useful in an argument with her husband. so. we hate him :)

after that she filed for a divorce, moved away and changed her name to her late grandmother’s last name. she started working at a gym in her new town and eventually decided to open her own ! she had gotten the building about 2-3 weeks before the outbreak hit and didn’t have any furniture or equipment of any kind, so she met up with 2 middle-aged women from her old gym and they travelled together until one of them was bitten in a fight with walkers and dragged into a big crowd of them to be eaten and the other one was bitten and margot had to shoot her when she got zombified and tried to attack. :(

that’s where i have left off for now but i am going to develop her More the more i watch the show !!!

okay. backstory over. now for the fun bits:

her faceclaim is mackenzie davis specifically in terminator (without the. lines on her arms and whatever idk what those are) and this picture is the most margot-vibe imaginable.

the haircut was an incredibly recent choice but it came in handy during the outbreak because she didn’t have to worry about keeping hair out of her face. girlboss !

she is 6′2 :) her and her husband were funnily enough the 2 tallest people in her graduating class

she spoke occasionally to her parents after graduating and moving away but they fell out of touch a year or so before the outbreak began and she......................... unsurprisingly doesn’t miss them at all

she has 1 keepsake and it’s an old keychain of her grandpa’s and if anything happens to it. she will kill everyone in any room and Then herself !!!

she likes to where tank tops to show off her big arms. is this very ergonomical in the apocalypse where zombie bites can kill you instantly ? nope! will she do it anyway to intimidate people ? yup!

she Cannot cook. at all. she lived off of take-out and microwavable meals for the first 20 years of her life and then she always had someone else making food for her until she moved away on her own when it was back to takeout.

on the topic of food :) her fave foods are mac and cheese with breadcrumbs and meatlover’s pizza !

she will do literally anything for a good beer. anything. she keeps an eye out for them every time she goes scavenging in buildings and will try to get at least 1 bottle per trip. girlboss !

she cannot sing. in fact she’s not just average, she’s Terrible. she can, however, play mad guitar because her grandpa taught her.

now onto miss lila :)

she was born in a town a couple over from rick’s and was the younger sister of 2 ! she had a really great family and a very very happy childhood :) her dad was a wildlife rehabilitator and her mom was a landscaper who took a lot of pride in their nice big backyard and garden and Land where they. you know. rehabiliated the wildlife and what not

she worked a lot with her dad and mom at their wildlife centre and also helped her mom garden a lot (their house was on the same property as the centre so it was a nice big plot of land). she took a lot of interest in rehabilitating animals and it sparked a very early childhood interest in Caring for things (namely little wild critters) which extended to her helping out little kids on the playground when they got scraped knees and things. she always had a package of bandaids in her backpack from second grade on. an angel <3

in her final year of high school she had a very quick fling with a boy from her high school that ended… poorly. and then she got pregnant! which she. Did not expect. nor want. nor need in her life because she was planning on moving to atlanta to go to medical school and kickstart her career. her sister, who had recently dropped out of school and lost her job, decided to Take One for the team and claim the baby as hers so lila could go to medical school and stuff. their parents promised to take good care of her and they all made a plan to hide lila’s pregnancy from their town (although i’m sure literally everyone knows anyway) and then she moved away in the summer after giving birth to go to school

she quickly finished up her nursing program but was out of job for a few years until she got a job offer to be the nurse at king county elementary school aka the school were one Carl Grimes goes to school. she moved there in may and one night, when her car Squealed to a stop in front of a dog who had run away from his home and was being chased by. Um. a certain sheriff’s deputy who was intending on bringing the puppy back home <3 they got to talking and. Well. the rest is history…..

she was a very beloved member of the staff and kids would often fake sick just to come to her office and get a sucker and she grew esp close to the grimes family :D after a couple of years living in king county she got a job to start working at some fancy prep school in atlanta and decided that actually she might want to. You know. start being a mom now that she was finished with school and had a career. so she moved away from king county at the end of the next school year and was unfortunately in atlanta when it was bombed by the government at the start of the outbreak so she and her daughter and sister all died :) and that’s that !

some fun facts because that was a very depressing end to her story:

she always has suckers in her office at school and her favourites are the watermelon ones.

she can often be found gardening in her backyard or watching the birds in the trees like a little nature baby !!!

she is very meticulous about planning. she Does have a daily agenda. she Will kill you if you touch it. shane likes to leave her little notes in it for her to find when she’s at school. sometimes they are not Just cute. she usually erases those.

she likes collecting ugly thrift store paintings of animals and hangs them up in her dining room and she Does think they are incredibly funny.

she is a vegetarian !!! very unwavering about it. shane finds it annoying because he’s good at cooking steak but she just has a salad and then they’re both perfectly happy <3

sends basically everyone she knows a Christmas/holiday card every year. even the teachers at the elementary school who don’t like her and or barely talk to her !!!

she is a terrible maker of tea and usually forgets about cups before she’s even halfway through them (thank god for her). makes everyone tea when they come over except shane (stupid ass) because he doesn’t like it and usually people just politely swallow it even though it’s too steeped or. sorry idk how tea works. she just Makes It Bad ok

she perpetually forgets to do laundry. Most of her non-scrubs have dirt stains or dressing stains or whatnot (except for her Really nice clothes) which is why she tries to buy a lot of patterns. makes things easier to hide <3

and that’s it for now !!! i have so much other lore for them but i will stop here for now :) thank you very much if you read this also i’m very sorry i have twd brainworms i cannot help it. anyway ok that’s it thanks love you bye

[emmy-writes-sometimes]

Mess Is Mine

Someone requested Sebastian Stan as a father figure after him finding something out about your family. I twisted it a little to make it different from the Chris request I did recently, so I hope that’s okay! 

-

           “Hey, Y/n?” You took the walkie talkie from where it laid beside your thigh upon hearing Sebastian’s assistant’s voice. You were the lowest of the low on set – the assistant’s assistant. And you thought it would just be getting coffee, but it had turned into an actual friendship. People even joked that you were Sebastian’s kid, even though you weren’t related. When you were on call, though, you were the runner.

           “Yup?” You asked in return, sitting up from where you were doing school work on your laptop.

           “Can you run to wardrobe and grab an extra jacket? Seb ripped it again. I think we can still shoot, but just to be safe we want an extra..”

           “On it,” you responded, standing up and starting the walk across the lot. You tucked the walkie talkie back into your pocket, grabbing your phone as a notification popped up.

           2 dead in crash on I-285; delays expected until night.

           You thought nothing of it – you just scrolled up to get rid of the notification and continued walking over to wardrobe. By the time you were walking back with Sebastian’s black jacket on your arm, the costume dust getting all over your own jacket, you were getting a call from your older sister. Part of you wondered why she even bothered calling – it wasn’t like you were close. She was 33 and couldn’t care less about what you were doing. You were seventeen, almost eighteen, so by the time you had fully formed memories she was gone. She probably didn’t even know you were doing an internship.

           “Hello?” You asked as you raised the phone to your ear. You used your other hand to grab your ID badge, knowing they’d want it to get you back onto set. You heard your sister talking to someone else for a second, and rolled your eyes.

           “Hey, Y/n,” she said quietly. You stopped walking. Something was wrong. You didn’t know her that well, but you knew her well enough to know that she had the exact same voice your mom did when something went wrong.

           “Can this wait? I’m at work, I’m heading onto the stage in a second and I don’t know if they’re shooting.” You weren’t lying – they put everyone on the oldest stage, and the red light barely even worked so you could potentially get yelled at for walking on set while you were on the phone.

           “No,” she responded with a sigh. “It can’t. You, um, you might want to sit down for this.” You were getting annoyed – why was she being so dramatic? But at the same time, your heart was starting to race and you couldn’t help but feel a sneaking suspicion that she wasn’t being dramatic at all.

           “I’m sitting,” you lied. The only place to sit was a curb.

           “Mom and dad got in a car wreck earlier,” she said. “And neither of them made it.” Your heart stopped. You felt like you were on the receiving end of a sucker punch. “They called me because they couldn’t find you at school, and since you’re not eighteen yet…”

           “No,” you responded. “No. This isn’t happening.”

           “I’m sorry, honey,” she sighed. “I really am. I’ll be there later tonight so we can talk things out, okay? The police are at my house still.”

           “Okay.” Your voice was hollow and scratchy as you hung up, putting your phone back in your pocket. You wanted to curl up in a ball and cry, but nothing came. It didn’t hit you. But you could feel the blood drain from your face as you went on. There was nothing you could do. Absolutely nothing. So you just kept on. It didn’t make sense to leave, but it didn’t make sense to stay. So you just went on, handing your ID to the security guard, and walked over to where the director was calling for a cut. Sebastian’s assistant was nowhere to be found, but you held up the jacket and it caught his eye. Something else caught his eye, too, as he walked over.

           “Hey, what’s wrong? You look shaken up,” he asked as he looked you up and down. “You look like you saw the ghost over on stage 5.” You shook your head, offering him the jacket.

           “No,” you lied, “I’m fine.” You weren’t. You weren’t fine. You wanted to go home and have your parents be there, have your dog be there, have everything go back to normal. But it was impossible and you knew that. It wouldn’t hit until you were at home. Right now you were just too numb to tell anyone anything.

           “Are you sure?” You nodded, but it wasn’t convincing. “You literally look like you’re about to pass out.”

           “I’m fine.”

           “No, you’re not.” You weren’t in the mood to argue, and after he took the jacket you crossed your arms against your chest, looking down at the concrete floor. Tears finally started coming to your eyes, but you shook it off.

           “Just a rough day. That’s all.”

           “Rough day, my ass. Go home. We’re almost done for the day anyway. Just go home and pet your dog or something, okay?” You nodded. You weren’t in the mood to argue. You weren’t in the mood to do anything. Sebastian pulled you into one of his famous bear hugs, and you knew that later you’d get a text from him to check in. He was too nice. Maybe you would tell him then. But right now, it didn’t even make sense to you.

           You sniffled and calmly walked to the walkie-talkie charging station, putting yours back. Then you walked out to the parking lot and got into your car. It was only when you started the car that you realize 285 was your way home. If you drove that way, you would see…

           You took the long way home that day, and waiting for you was your sister’s car in the driveway.

-

           Just checking in. Is everything okay? You stared at Sebastian’s text as you emerged from your shower, the shower your sister had forced you to take when she realized you were going to have a breakdown in the middle of the living room. It was overwhelming. The news sucked, sure, but it threw everything into limbo. And by the time the crash had cleared, their names had been released, and you’d turned off everyone on your notifications list except for your emergency contacts. Those happened to be a few people at Marvel, your parents, and your best friend who’d texted you a storm too.

           You didn’t want to speak to him, for the first time in forever. You didn’t want to talk to anyone. You didn’t even want to talk to your sister or her husband, who, as nice as he was, had no idea what was going on. You just wanted things to go back to normal.

           “I made some mac and cheese,” your sister said as she walked up the stairs to see you standing in your robe. “Thought you should probably eat something.”

           “Thanks,” you replied with a sniffle.

           “And I was thinking that maybe it would be a good idea if I came to stay for a while. Just until your internship’s done.” You sighed. You didn’t want to talk about it. You didn’t want to talk about anything. Your head was pounding. Your heart hadn’t stopped pounding.

           “I think I just want to go to bed.” You knew you’d hurt worse if you refused the food, but you didn’t care. You wanted out. You needed out.

           “I’ll have some breakfast for you in the morning, then,” she said. She knew it wasn’t worth fighting over, so she didn’t. She just let you go back to your room. You turned off your phone before putting it on the charger, making sure nobody would wake you up. You weren’t ready for the outpouring of support from people you hadn’t spoken to in months. You weren’t ready to face the next day, either, or the next one. Part of you thought you should go ahead and have your resignation ready because your sister would probably want you to come live with her an hour away, or your school would want you to live on campus. Your life as you knew it was over, and part of you was mourning that more than you were your parents. But you knew that wasn’t true, either. This was just how you worked. You set your alarm, early enough to go to an office and tell someone you were leaving, and shut your eyes.

           The next morning you went straight to the producer, ready to hand in your ID badge. Maybe you were being irrational, but it felt like the best thing to do was end your internship early and take the rest of the semester to adjust. Adjust – meaning watch your entire life change without being able to stop it. But, to your surprise, the door was closed. Someone was meeting with him already. You took a seat outside the door, trying to pretend like you weren’t supposed to meet your sister in two hours. You used the time to scroll through messages, responding with hearts or thank-yous, as the depth of the situation settled in again, and barely even noticed when the door opened.

           “Y/n!” You looked up to see Sebastian, worry in his eyes, as he emerged from the office. “Thank God, when you didn’t respond last night…” The producer smiled at you, motioning for you to come in.

           “Seb?” You asked him, looking up at him. He could tell something was still wrong. “Can you come with me?”

           “Yeah,” he said softly. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion, but he followed you into the office. The producer looked you up and down – you were wearing open toed shoes, the first sign that you weren’t planning on working. Sebastian didn’t seem to notice it.

           “Y/n,” the producer started with a sigh. “I heard about the accident last night.” You looked down. “Is that what this is about?”

           “Yeah,” you replied.

           “Accident? What accident?” Sebastian asked, looking over at you. “Are you okay?” You sighed.

           “My parents got in an accident yesterday,” you muttered. “And they didn’t make it out. I was planning to quit today because I probably won’t even finish out the semester, but…”

           “Don’t worry about that. We’ll honor your internship for next semester. Just take whatever time you need.” Time. Like that was going to fix everything. You stood up, and Sebastian just followed you.

           “What?” He spoke too loudly when you went into the hallway, only realizing if after. “Sorry. What? You’re quitting?”

           “I have to go live with my sister,” you said. “Who I barely even know. She lives an hour away, so I can’t finish the semester and I definitely can’t keep working. I didn’t respond to your message because I didn’t know how, because it’s not like I can just say…”

           “Come here.” Sebastian interrupted you and pulled you into a hug in the middle of the hallway. “Come back with me.” You sniffled and nodded, and after following Sebastian out the main door you walked to his trailer. He started scrambling around as you sat down, readying a cup of the peach tea he knew you liked.

           “You don’t have to…” You started. He wouldn’t hear of it, though, and got you the tea anyway. You had to admit that you felt better here. With him. Being around him was more comfort than being around your sister. Sebastian felt more like family than she did, and maybe it was because you’d spent so much time with him, but ever since you met he always joked that you could be his kid because you were so alike.

           “I’m not gonna tell you I’m sorry, because I’m sure you’ve heard that enough.” He gave you a little smile and sat down beside you on the bench seat, handing you the cup of tea. It definitely wasn’t the first time you’d come to his trailer to cry.

           “Yeah,” you sighed. “I don’t really believe it yet. I just… It doesn’t seem real. And I don’t think it will for awhile.”

           “It never does.”

           “I feel like I should be crying all over the place but I’m just not.”

           “Everyone reacts in different ways. But I don’t think you should just stop living your life.”

           “I don’t have a choice. I have to go live with my sister until I turn eighteen. Which is only a couple months, but…” Sebastian shook his head. You took a sip of tea, not even realizing how hot it was. It burned your throat, but it felt good.

           “What if you don’t have to?” He asked. “Hypothetically. What if you had a place to stay here to finish out the semester? And then next semester you could live on campus?” You looked over at him.

           “Sebastian, you don’t have to do that.”

           “I want to. I wanna help you through this. I wanna help take care of you. If that’s okay with you. And, besides. I have two extra bedrooms so you can pick which one you like better.”

           “This is such a mess, and you don’t...”

           “Yeah. But I want to, kid.” He wrapped an arm around your back and pulled you into a hug. “You’re my kid who isn’t really my kid, remember? Your mess is my mess”

           “I remember.” 

           A/N: This is literally such crap and a terrible ending but school has rly been kicking my ass and gave me such bad writer’s block, sorry to whoever requested but I really did try 😭💕

[rocket-roach]

Hey. Hey Rach. Hey. Bruce and Tim “Which part of me wasn’t enough?” 😈😈

hey. hey ren. hey. Have Bruce and Tim fighting in a house that also functions as a mausoleum

Tim thinks that the popcorn texture walls are the second worst thing to happen to interior design. The first worst thing to happen to interior design was obviously mid-century colonial styling, but lucky the manor no longer has that weird fruit and baskets wallpaper. At least, not in the wing they’re all in.

He runs his hand over the bumps, occasionally stopping the pick at the bigger ones. It’s not like he has anything better to do. Bruce is back and running Wayne Enterprises, Damian is Robin, Dick is Nightwing and everybody has dropped back into their Pre-Bruce-Stuck-In-Time roles. Which means Timothy Drake has nothing better to do than feel up the walls.

That thought unnerves him so much he quickly moves his hand. With nothing else to do, Tim starts packing up. He puts clothes into his Atlantic suitcase, tucks the tablet and laptop into their carrying case, slides his film camera back into it’s bag, and finishes up by tossing all the toiletries on top of the clothes. Once it’s all packed, he leaves. Alfred is at the store, so he doesn’t have to trying to explain why he’s moving out. The Drake Estate is still his. It’s not a home, but it is a house. 

Ten minutes later, he drops his bags in the foyer.

It’s just like when Jack and Janet went on trips, he tells himself as he pulls protective sheets off the couches, the island in the kitchen, and in his old room. You know how to cook, you know how to clean, and you know where Mrs. Mac kept all the good recipe books. It’s better for me here. I have a place here.

He walks out to the garage, where his mom’s old Benz still sits. He opens the car door, and Janet’s perfume hits him like a Mack Truck. His knuckles go white as he tries to stabilize himself, as he tries to keep himself in the here and now and not at his mother’s hospital bed where she laid dying for months and not travelling the world looking for signs that the only good father he’d ever known was still alive and--

Tim gets in the car, starts it, and leaves. It’s low on gas, but there’s enough to get him to the nearest gas station and then on to the Bristol Shoppes. The car handles the roads as if it’d been driving on it just last night. He steers around the familiar curves, keeping his eyes on the road and his newest goal in his head. He’d survive on his own. He’d get back to work, pulling Drake Industries from the grave. Maybe rebrand it as a tech company. He could do that. He knows enough contacts from his stint as Wayne Enterprises C.E.O., to help reestablish his family’s company. This is fine. He’s taken care of himself before, and he can do it again. 

He’s going to need a lawyer.

He’s going to have to check his bank accounts.

He’s making a list, he’s checking it twice. He’s ignoring his buzzing phone. He’s pulling into the parking lot. Then he’s heading into the store, his cell safely stashed and locked into the glovebox. 

Later on, when he’s home and the Bagel Bites have been cooked and burned the roof of his mouth, the doorbell rings. Tim pauses, half a bagel in his mouth. He had taken all the important things, right? His phone, his tablet, his laptop and clothes. It has to be somebody from the manor, with something he’s forgotten.  His mind is so busy whirling around that the front door locked is picked, and moments later, a thunderous looking Bruce Wayne is standing in his kitchen. He still has half a bagel bite in his mouth.

“Tim,” Bruce starts stiffly. “What are you doing.”

“Eating,” Tim says after he swallows his bite. “What’s wrong?”

Bruce’s mouth is moving, but nothing is coming out.  Finally, Bruce steps forward and crosses his arms, fingers tapping on his biceps. He’s looming over Tim now. Tim wishes he wouldn’t do that. He doesn’t like to be loomed over in his own home.

“Why are you here?”

Well, that’s a loaded question that Tim doesn’t want to answer right now.  He nibbles on another bagel bite instead, and realizes he has his email pulled up, with the email to Drake’s old family attorney. He tries to close it out, tries to hide it because Bruce can’t know about his plan because Tim isn’t ready to execute it now and he’ll be a legal adult soon but Bruce right now still has the power to say No and have the law support him.

It usually takes a week for Bruce to catch up to his plans. How the hell did he get here after a few hours?

“Tim. What are you doing here? Why aren’t you home?” Bruce drops his arms, but he still looks like an August thunderstorm.

“Manor was feeling kind of crowded. I thought it’d be a good time for me to, y’know,” he waves a pizza bagel around. “Start my own life. I have this perfectly good house, a car, and Drake Industries. Drake Industries needs me. They could probably want me.”

“Start your own life?” Tim doesn’t like how strangled Bruce sounds. He keeps watching his plate. “Tim… I need you. You must know that you’re wanted at the manor. With your family. We need you. I’ve been wondering why you aren’t joining us on patrol. I haven’t seen you at dinner recently, and it’s felt like you’ve been avoiding us. I didn’t want to push it. I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable but when I got home and saw your bedroom empty… It scared the hell out of me.”

“How could you possibly need me?” Tim snarls, “You’re back. Damian is your Robin. Everybody is back to their original roles. Everybody has their place at your side again. You just noticed that I wasn’t patrolling? I lost Robin to Damian, and you backed Dick up on that call. I fought for months to find you, to bring you back to us because without you nothing made sense. Then you came back. I was so happy. I hadn’t been that happy in years. Then you all carried on. And I started to wonder, which part of me wasn’t enough? Which part of me had lost me a place at your side?”

The worst thing is, all Bruce does is blink.

“When we first met, I told you that Batman needs a Robin. You have your Robin now. You don’t need me. So, yeah, I left,” Tim finally meets Bruce’s eyes, and does his best to hide the pain and fury that’s nearly reached the overflow point. “Not your problem anymore. You can go.”

“Tim--” Bruce starts.

“No!” Tim shouts as he stands. “Get out!”

Tim thought the worst part of this entire conversation was Bruce blinking. He was wrong. It was when the heavy oak front door clicked shut behind Bruce. Tim tips his head back, eyes shut as tears stream down his face.

When he looks up, he sees the popcorn textured ceiling. He finally boils over.

[quatschmachen]

Bitchumen

A nice heartwarming sort of xmas fic. Phone call takes place in 2000, the xmas in 1999.

Edward rants to someone about something.

XXX “Right, like you can actually understand what’s going on.” The sarcasm dripped thick like bitumen from Edward’s tongue, the sticky anger clinging to every surface.“You treating me with the polite decency of a stranger doesn’t actually make you a good person, Calvin – it doesn’t even make you a friend.”

Blowing a breath out, Edward rubbed his face, his shoulders stuck between wanting to spike up in stiff defense or simply drop down in defeat.

“Which is why you get the couch,” here his arms crossed, brooking no argument, “I don’t even know why you thought it was going to be fine just showing up, months after being an asshole thinking I would even put you up. I just know Edith would have you out on your ass, and honestly you’re lucky you got me when I was even in town. Hold on… Mr. Big Shot, you have enough money to get a fucking hotel room, why the shit am I even considering you to stay here with me? Why the hell am I not throwing you out on your ass?”

Another breath out, and Edward sighed, “No, this won’t do.”

With a slump, he plopped onto the couch, and glanced around his small living room, wondering why the hell he was even practicing this as a conversation. Calvin hadn’t dropped by in months. It wasn’t like he was going to any time soon. The lines had been clearly drawn, and even an entitled oil cowboy wasn’t going to pretend everything hadn’t changed.Apparently the weeks off were just giving him time to go crazy. Usually this would be the time he would jet off to Montreal, but instead he was stuck in his house losing it. He was worried if he showed up on Étienne’s doorstep he would just start crying. Definitely not a thing to do.

His thoughts were disrupted as the telephone began to ring. With a sigh, he rolled off the couch and grabbed it. “Hello?”

“Eddy!” Étienne’s voice rang out through the phone and wrapped around him like a warm hug.

“’Tienne,” Edward breathed out, automatically relaxing, he flomped down into the seat beside the telephone.

“I’ve been calling for weeks and thought you had died,” he joked, but the edge of worry was still there.

“Sort of had.” Edward murmured, “Actually I sort of moved out, I guess. Mac came down in January and I ended up moving north with him and picked up a hitch. Just got off and am laying around at home too dead to do anything.”

“Hitch?”

“Uhm working in the oil patch. Living at camp, pretty much isolated from the world…”

“Surrounded by big burly men? You could have at least sent me a postcard, Eddy,” Étienne teased, but there was an underlying tone Edward had difficulty deciphering, “I was thinking if it was my turn to come pull you out of the swamp of misery.”

“I guess I could have but… to be honest it all sort of just happened?” Edward sighed, “And once I was up in Fort Mac, and then out working, it’s difficult to really communicate. Just work till you drop, then into the camp to exercise or watch porn.”

“What? They actually supply porn?”

“And sometimes even prostitutes, but that’s apparently not truly allowed…” Edward paused, “but unfortunately no prostitutes were of interest to me.”

“How unfortunate. I was up to my eyeballs with inconvenient work,” Étienne paused, “Christmas was about the same as always, Suzette passes along her best wishes. The food was divine, and I ended up losing an arm-wrestling match to Élyse.”

Edward laughed, “What were the stakes?”

“Hmmm, well she got to eat my slice of cake; it was some terrible cake Samuel had made – yes I know, please believe me when I say he made this cake. Truly no real artisan of food would have produced something as terrible as that cake. I think it ostensibly was supposed to be a fruit cake – with a thick layer of chalky marzipan on top. Somehow he managed to over-alcohol a cake while having it be dry at the same time. I was ready to submit it to the Guinness Book of Records…”

“So why was Élyse battling you for your slice?”

“You see, I may have already had a fight or two with Samuel – he has some new boytoy, and he was being so insipid and sickly about it, I may have been ready to fight over any little thing. Élyse figured if I got rid of the slice via arm wrestling it could possibly save Christmas or something. Yadda yadda. Apparently no one seems to enjoy the Christmases when Samuel breaks down in angry tears and yells for an hour – not sure why when I find that sooooooo entertaining.”

“God I wish I was there for that… seeing Samuel’s face as if he was punched when he tries to cry elegantly is so therapeutic…” Edward murmured, “I feel like my Christmas was just me being the crying one.”

“Crying? What happened, Édouard?”

Squiggling in his seat, Edward wondered how much he should tell. A part of him wanted to spill it all, but another part wondered if that would be too much of an inconvenience. How much of his stupid worries did Étienne really want? Closing his eyes, Edward pretended they were in the same room together, maybe even touching, head on Étienne’s shoulder, not necessarily looking at the man, but bodies snuggled up, his hair getting played with. Those small stolen moments of bliss, where the worries got spilled, and he didn’t worry about the consequences.

“Christmas was so awkward; I don’t even know where to begin. The entire time I desperately wished I had gone to yours… it felt like the last time I try to be a functional person among them… hell, I only went because I thought maybe I could improve relations with people… start the new millennium off with some hope about the future.”

It really had been terrible. They had held it at the ranch – Bert’s ranch. Why the hell did he think hanging out with people at the ranch would be a good idea? Surrounded by people you probably should know better, but in reality only held passing pleasantries with. The one bright spot had been Calvin. Calvin who seemed to be best buddies with everyone who arrived, Calvin who smiled brightly at him and argued with him, distracting him from the knot of anxiety he was harbouring over whether he should come out during Christmas or hold off until New Years?

He was attempting small talk with Jo, who was talking at him about how they should go shopping together (did she not do other stuff?), when he overheard Bert loudly say “I personally don’t think those fags should be given the deal.”

It felt like time had slowed down for Edward. No one seemed to pause or care. Orson in fact nodded along with Bert’s rant, sipping his Sprite. Jo continued on with her plans for her next visit, and somewhere nearby Red laughed at a joke Madeline made. As he observed the room to see if there was any reaction to Bert’s loud rant, everyone was involved in their own conversations. Calvin was in the distance deep in conversation with someone he could not quite make out. 

Right, this was not the place. He still wanted turkey dinner, and as he dimly nodded along to Jo, Edward felt small. He had no allies here. Well, that wasn’t true. He was sure Edith supported him, but one in how many? Edward didn’t want to ‘ruin Christmas’.

“And you know how I’ve been thinking about coming out and stuff, but uh, can I just say no? If you were in the room you would understand – seriously Étienne, these people who claim to be my so called family would just as well lynch me as their Christmas bonfire – I dunno they could just douse me in bitumen and light me up human torch Christian martyr style for bringing the faggotry home for Christmas… Soooo I didn’t want to ruin Christmas and make the event awkward for everyone,” Edward related over the phone.

“And then horror of horrors, Orson managed to corner me in what he thinks is jovial conversation. It felt like everything he had to say to me was condescension masked in care and concern – honestly I am not sure how he even manages that. I think he felt like it was his civic duty to carry on a conversation with me. He even reminisced about the temple open house he dragged me to. Ok honestly I went to the open house out of curiosity, to see what sort of cult he’s in, but I didn’t think he would already be reminiscing about something that had literally JUST happened. Temple? Yeah, a Mormon temple just opened up in my city… so it meant I had the pleassssuuure of Orson coming up for the Open House and dragging me along. Stay with me? God no, please ‘Tienne I’m not that insane, what would I do if he snooped and found my big old dildo? Yeah he was staying with some church people since he was volunteering and such.”

“I think I wanted to die when he sat down at the piano – yeah, I didn’t even think Bert ever tuned that thing, but knowing Orson maybe he came extra early to tune it, and began banging out the Christmas carols. Like he’s talented and all, and I don’t mind a round of Jingle Bells, but he really has this creepy 1950s vibe and I wanted to roll my eyes when his eyes started to shine with unshed tears at Away in a Manger and O Holy Night.” Edward twisted the cord around his finger, as he listened to Étienne chuckle. Apparently the tactic was avoid talking about himself and instead rant about goody-two-shoes Orson? “You should count yourself lucky you don’t have to deal with him on a regular basis… mmm? Yeah he is kind, considerate and is literally the guy to volunteer for the worst tasks but there is something about him where he is a little too perfect? Like somehow can’t let my hair down around him type of deal. Which makes him perfect for Lilith – as she always has her hair up, haha.”

Edward had relaxed into his seat, somehow feeling lighter, as the words slipped out, “And then New Years was somehow worse… no I wasn’t at the ranch. I probably should have taken you up on your fireworks show, because the one here is uh Edmonton grade. You know – trying real hard but still somehow failing to miss the mark,” he chuckled at his own joke, not picking up on the strained tension from Étienne over the phone. “Calvin came up, which surprised me since I assumed he would want to be gallivanting about in Calgary, but apparently he wanted to spend it with his best buddy which is me? Somehow? Don’t worry Teddy, you’re still my best friend…” Edwards voice lowered, as he realized what he was about to say, admit. Pause. “So how was your New Years? Aahh why are you yelling – oh you’re saying I didn’t mention why New Years sucked? It’s because it wasn’t with you, darlin’.”

Somehow Edward couldn’t do it. Couldn’t quite bring himself around to admitting he had come out to Calvin. How he had fallen into a depression when he got outright rejected. “Hmm? Well, how else can I put it… while I could have been kissing you and sucking your cock, I instead got to hold Calvin’s hair back as he literally puked in my poinsettias… yes… mmhmm. The poor plant didn’t make it.”

Tangling his finger in the phone cord, Edward found himself relaxing as Étienne told him about his New Years event, feeling like he had dodged a bullet. The other man’s voice soothing him. Trying to be home for Christmas and the New Years - attempt to enter the new millennium as a man of his own place, had been a major mistake.

He should have kept to his original plans of escaping to Montreal, escaping his own clay dirt to mold himself into his own dream man.Sometimes he wondered if he loved Étienne or simply wanted to be Étienne. A complicated mixture of feelings confusing him ever more when it came to that man.

“Visit? I would love to visit… oh wait, you want to come visit me? When? Hmm let me… check my calendar.” Edward sat up, looking around, and then picked up the phone, carefully picking his way into the kitchen, so he could squint at the calendar. His telephone cord ran out though, so he had to do an awkward strain, trying not to unplug the phone, while seeing his own scribbled-in life.

Well… the only thing really was his work shifts. Everything else a blank. “How does this time work? You’re booked up. Alright…” Edward and Étienne haggled over dates, until somehow, it lined up that Edward was going to Montreal. A subtle shift, but as Edward said with some practicality – that’s just how it lined up. As he hung up the phone, he wrote down the date of his trip, feeling better. Now in between work was a small bright spot, one small thing to look forward to.He was not as friendless as he thought, and, perhaps with enough courage, he could finish his New Years story.        

[artificialqueens]

Tree House Kisses, Chapter 37 (Adorney) - Scorpio and Veronica

A/N: Click here for previous chapters or to read on AO3, click here! XOXO!

Chapter Summary: Courtney and Adore begin repairing their friendship, slowly but surely.

Chapter 37: I Have Confidence

“Bonnie!” Courtney flung herself into Bonnie’s arms, causing the older woman to laugh and put down the tongs, stepping away from the grill.

“Hiya darlin’, how are you?”

“I’m good now.” Courtney’s voice was soft, muffled in her hair.

“Dory told me you were coming, so I threw on a couple of veggie burgers.” Bonnie gestured to the grill.

“Aww, thank you!”

“Do you still eat cheese, or have you gone all the way to the dark side?” Bonnie held up a package of jack cheese, which she was about to put on the burgers.

“Cheese is fine,” Courtney laughed. “Although you know I’m really here for your macaroni salad.”

“Hey, Court? You wanna stop hanging on my poor mother and help me set the table?” Adore called from the other side of the patio, arms full.

“Coming!” Courtney pressed one last kiss to Bonnie’s cheek before skipping over to happily fold napkins, just as Angie came outside with a couple of serving bowls.

As she laid out the silverware, Courtney looked up at Adore, setting the condiments at one end of the table. She snatched a piece of red pepper from the veggie tray and grinned, thrilled to be here with her best friend and surrogate family on this beautiful, breezy Spring evening.

Adore smiled back, the light in her hazel eyes making Courtney’s heart nearly burst with happiness.

“Who wants toasted buns?” Bonnie called.

“I do!” Courtney exclaimed, eyes glittering with amusement at the joke she knew by now was coming.

“Well then, come sit on the grill…”

Adore and Angie both groaned, but Courtney laughed uproariously as if it was the first time she’d ever heard Bonnie’s lame joke.

“Why are you encouraging her?” Adore asked, slinging an arm around Courtney’s shoulders and guiding her towards the house to get the rest of the food.

“She’s cute. I missed her-” Courtney stopped suddenly, not wanting to kill the jovial mood, but Adore nodded.

“She missed you too,” Adore said, tossing Courtney another smile before she entered the house.

Courtney took a deep breath, grateful and happy, and then followed her inside.

-

Trinity adjusted her pillow behind her back, accidentally jostling the porch swing and Willam on the other side.

Willam had joined Trinity at her Granny's for the weekend. He never missed an opportunity to get some homemade cornbread, mac and cheese, and Granny Bonet’s Famous Peach Cobbler.

Plus Granny Bonet was sweet as pie, soft-spoken with a roaring laugh. She always seemed genuine when asking Willam what he has been up to since they last had seen each other, never making him feel any different than her own grandkids.

"Shit, Trin! Don't make me drop the weed." Willam snapped, adjusting the book on his legs.

"Sorry, sorry. This thing was stabbing me in the back," she said, finally getting the pillow in place and turning to get comfortable.

"Eh, Fuck it!" Willam shrugged, taking the half-open joint to his mouth and wrapping it closed. "If I can roll up while Violet is driving, I can fucking roll anywhere. That bitch drives like she’s playing Mario Cart."

Trinity burst into laughter, nodding her head in agreement unable to vocalize.

"I don't understand how the hell she even got her license," Willam snorted, spurred on by Trinity’s giggles.  

"It's really not that bad," Trinity said, finally trying to defend their friend.

Willam gave an incredulous look over the flame he quickly ran over the joint.

"It's more so when she's impatient," Trinity clarified.

"Oh." Willam rolled his eyes before actually lighting and taking a quick intake. “So, all the time.”

"She's gotten better recently. I think Pearl's been helping her or something," Trinity shrugged, grabbing the joint.

"Wait, what? Pearl doesn't even have a car. That's not right." Willam sat up, staring seriously at Trinity.

Trinity held his gaze, intrigued by the wheels turning in his head. What could he be thinking?

"They're having sex!" Willam finally exclaimed triumphantly.

"What? No!" Trinity’s brow furrowed.

Willam shook his head and continued, "Actually, it's pretty obvious. And right under our noses. Violet’s one sneaky bitch."

"No, no, no, no, no," Trinity coughed, deep and loud.

"Yes!"

"Do you really think Violet is over Fame though?" Trinity asked, intentionally rocking the swing as Willam took another hit.

"Well, yeah. Or...maybe. Probably. At least, she should be."

"No." Trinity shook her head adamantly. “She’s definitely not.”

"Okay, Trin. If Pearl and Violet haven't hooked up already; they will. I bet you that."

"Bet what? Because I don't even know if Pearl is really Violet's type," Trinity hesitated.

"How so?"

"Like compatibility...in bed and stuff like that. You know Violet is forward and aggressive and Pearl seems sort of nonchalant but in the ‘you can't tell me what to do’ kind of way. Violet has to be the boss, and Pearl doesn’t seem like she’d let her. Incompatible." Trinity shrugged, snatching the joint from her cousin’s hand. “Don’t forget to share, dick.”

"Hold up! And how would you know what either of them is like in bed? You’ve given this a lot of thought, cuz." Willam looked genuinely shocked and confused.

“It’s just a guess,” Trinity said, rolling her eyes. She put the joining to her lips, inhaling deeply, even as her cheeks darkened in embarrassment. “I mean, you know, it’s not like I obsess over it or anything...shut up.”

“Omigod, Trin, are you gonna start lezzing out with those whores?”

Trinity started coughing and laughing, shaking her head.

“Never say never,” she wheezed, laughing even harder at the scandalized look on his face.

-

“What’s so funny?” Roy asked, tapping on Courtney’s thigh. She was sitting next to him in the booth at Denny’s, giggling to herself over something on her phone for about the 20th time since they’d sat down. They were with April and Bob, getting a late snack after the movies, and her mind was clearly elsewhere.  

“Oh, um...sorry. Adore just sent me this-” Courtney gave a sheepish smile. “You know what, it’s not important.” She closed her phone and stuffed it into her jacket pocket.

“Well, thanks for finally joining us,” Roy said. He was going for lighthearted, but it came out a bit cross and scolding.

“Sorry, daddy,” Courtney teased, causing April to burst out laughing and Roy to make an even grumpier face. She stole a French fry off his plate, biting her lip to keep from laughing.

“I think she needs a spanking,” Bob said, and Courtney turned to stick her tongue out at him.

“You need a spanking,” she informed Bob.

“Hell yeah I do.” He cast a sly look over at April. “You wanna spank me?”

“Not especially,” April said, feigning boredom as she sipped her strawberry milkshake.

“What about you, Court?” Bob wiggled his eyebrows. “Want to teach me how to behave?”

“You’re sick,” Courtney said.

“Come on, someone must want to punish me,” Bob whined, and then yelled, “Ow!” as Roy kicked him hard under the table.

“You’re welcome,” Roy said. “Now eat your chicken fingers.”

Courtney laughed, then felt her phone buzz in her pocket, fingers itching to open it and see what Adore might have sent. She reached inside; even just touching it made her feel better. When Roy got into a heated debate with Bob over whether the Jackass crew was in fact funny, she quickly flipped it open and checked.

ADORE: LOL but can you blame me?

COURTNEY: Of course not. You’re only human.

Courtney finished sending the text, quickly putting her phone back, when she looked up and saw April gazing knowingly at her. She shrugged guiltily, pulling her root beer float over and taking a sip.

-

Once Courtney and Adore made up, play practice became about ten times as fun. They didn’t have any scenes together, so whenever one of them was on stage, the other would be cheering them on silently from the wings.

Courtney was especially supportive once the performances began—not once leaving during Adore’s big solo, ready to leap out and fight anyone who would dare upset her this year. Fortunately, the protestors stayed home. Apparently, as Mrs. Maguire thought, just the words ‘Sound of Music’ were enough to appease them. They didn’t bother watching to see the genderqueer lead, lesbian nuns, drag queen baroness or gay messenger boy mincing about.

Closing night was a bit bittersweet for Roy—after all, he’d had a starring role in every show his entire 4 years there. College would be different, and he knew that this part of his life was now officially over. Courtney hugged him tight, and Adore teasingly told him that it was okay if he wanted to cry.

“Fuck off,” he said, burying his face into Courtney’s hair.

“What, I’m serious! We’re all very impressed at this display of emotion,” Adore said.

“Yeah, it really shows how secure you are in your masculinity,” Courtney added with a wink.

“Ugh! You’re both assholes!” Roy said before he stomped off stage.

“Hmm. I guess he’s not that secure,” Adore commented, and she and Courtney both began to giggle again.  

-

As May bled into June, days getting longer and warmer, Adore began to feel antsy for summer to begin. One Saturday, she invited Courtney for an old-fashioned sleepover in the tree house, just like the good old days, and Courtney enthusiastically agreed. It was their first one in almost a year, and both girls were excited to reconnect, but maybe a bit nervous. There was still so much that they’d never said to each other. Still so much that they didn’t know how to put into words.

Adore climbed up the ladder with pizza and drinks, just as Courtney finished laying out the sleeping bags.

“Pizza delivery!”

“Ooh, yay!” Courtney exclaimed. “And um...I stole this from the liquor cabinet. Hopefully Adam won’t miss it.”

She produced a nearly full bottle of Jack Daniels, which impressed Adore, and made her send a grateful little prayer to Karen’s latest boyfriend.

“Thanks, Adam!”

Feeling like she could use a little something to help her relax, Courtney took a big swig from the bottle.

“Ugh, this is disgusting!” Courtney winced at the bitter taste, giggling.

“There's Coke too,” Adore said, and off Courtney's horrified expression, clarified, “Coca-cola, you dumbass. You can use it as a chaser.” She gestured to the white bag on top of the pizza box.

“Oh. Right.” Courtney flashed an apologetic grin and pulled a bottle of Coke from the bag, taking a sip.

Adore shook her head, chuckling, taking the bottle from her.

“Here…” She poured some of the soda out the window, then carefully replaced it with Jack, taking a sip to make sure the ratio was right before adding a little more alcohol. “Perfect.”

“Ugh, Adore!” Courtney opened the pizza box, groaning. “There’s pepperoni all over it!”

“Oh shit.”

“Gross…”

“Sorry!” Adore said, explaining, “I haven’t been hanging out with a lot of vegetarians lately, I forgot. Here, I’ll eat the pepperoni off for you.”

“Then there will still be pepperoni juice,” Courtney whined.

“You’re such a pain in the ass. Pepperoni is barely an animal. I don’t even know what animal it is!”

“Yeah. Don’t you think that’s a problem?” She pushed the pizza aside and dug into the bag of cheesy bread instead.

“Well. Sorry,” Adore said again, and Courtney leaned back, giving her a smile before taking another swig of Jack and Coke.

“It’s cool, I can eat this.”

-

“So…” Adore traced the edge of the sleeping bag with her finger, by now a bit sleepy and rocking a healthy buzz, finding herself realizing again just how much she’d missed her best friend. She felt bad, wished she could take back all the months of silence. But instead, she settled for trying her best to find out how her life was going these days. “...How are things with Roy?”

“Good. Great, actually,” Courtney sighed. “He’s the best.”

“He really loves you a lot,” Adore said, the memory of their argument a few weeks back still fresh in her mind. How Roy was the one who, in spite of everything, got her to make up with Courtney—and all because he wanted his girlfriend to be happy. It was disgustingly sweet, actually.

“Yeah. It’s gonna be so weird when he’s gone next year…” Courtney said.

“Oh, right. Shit. How’re you gonna survive?” They’d been joined at the hip for so long now that Adore couldn’t imagine what school—or life—would be like for Courtney without him.

“I’ll manage,” Courtney said, rolling over onto her side. “Anyway, he’s going to UCLA, so he’s only gonna be a few hours away. I’ll probably still see him all the time.”

“That’s cool.” Adore took another sip of their makeshift cocktail, swallowing down her residual bitterness about Roy and Courtney’s perfect teen romance along with the whiskey.  

“What about you. Any...special girls I should know about?” Courtney asked carefully. She took the bottle from Adore’s hands.

“Special girls? Okay mom.”

“Shut up, you know what I mean! Anyone who-”

“Nah.” Adore shook her head slowly.

“Do you and Violet still ever-”

“No,” Adore said, not even letting her get out the question. “We both realized that it was super toxic, and we’re much better off as friends. And this time, it feels like it’s stuck.”

“And Pearl?”

“Pearl?” Adore furrowed her brow, shaking her head. She and Pearl were still in that weird place where things were almost flirty but not. And she was still the only one who knew the whole truth about what happened with Courtney. It was too hard to explain, so instead she just said, “No. Although she has been really great this year. You know...with everything.”

Courtney took another sip, nearly polishing off the bottle, and Adore crawled over to make a new one.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Go ahead.” Adore once again poured the Coke out the window—this time maybe a bit more, and then replaced the contents with Jack.  

It was a few moments before Courtney spoke again. She appeared to be collecting her thoughts.

“How did you know that you were gay? Or...when…did you start thinking about it?”

Adore turned around, head tilted.

“Where’d this come from?”

“I’m just curious. You never really talked to me about it.” Courtney held a pillow in her arms, hair falling across her eyes.

Adore considered what to say, how honest to actually be in this moment, deciding that a few lies of omission were probably the best idea for everyone.

“I guess I always sort felt a little...different. And then when Violet started tutoring me, she kind of guessed? And she made me feel like...I don’t know. It was normal. Or at least, okay.”

“Of course it’s okay,” Courtney assured her, then asked, “So...was she the first girl you ever...had feelings for?”

Adore’s tongue felt thick in her mouth. She didn’t want to lie, not tonight when they were supposed to be bonding. But on the other hand, they’d only recently found their way back to each other, and what if she destroyed their delicate new reality? She didn’t think she could bear another fight, another period of loneliness like she’d had this year.

“Um...I guess I had little crushes before, but nothing that ever...went anywhere,” Adore finally said. Which was true.

“Oh yeah? Like who?” It was a fair question. A casual question. Her best friend showing interest in the inner workings of her heart.

“Uh…” Adore racked her brain for an answer that would satisfy her. “Remember that counselor we had at drama camp? Asia?”

Courtney did remember—she was a pretty Black girl with a dazzling smile, funny and lively but always sure to keep them in line.

“Oh yeah. She was cute,” Courtney nodded approvingly.

“And of course, um...Shakira.”

“Of course.” Courtney giggled, then bit her lip. “Anyone else?”

“Oh! Remember that girl who worked at Video Village? With the pink hair and all the piercings?” Adore grinned slyly, starting to have fun with this walk down memory lane.

“Her?!” This one, Courtney didn’t seem to appreciate, but Adore just shrugged.  

“Yeah! She was hot.”

Courtney took another thoughtful sip from the bottle before asking, “Have you ever liked a boy?”

“I used to try to make myself like boys,” Adore said. “Or, imagine that I did. But it was always just some dumb pop star or something. Like...remember Ashley Parker Angel?”

“No. Who?!” Courtney looked utterly confused, brow furrowed.

“The blond from O-Town.”

“O-Town!” Courtney giggled gleefully, a hiccup escaping her as she passed the bottle back to Adore. “Omigod. You had their picture on your binder and no one could figure out why.”

“Yeah, I know. Their music was terrible,” Adore admitted.

“They made music?”

Adore laughed, shaking her head.  

“And god, even my fake crushes were dudes with girl names…”

This made Courtney giggle some more, holding her pillow tighter. Her eyes drifted shut for a moment.

“What about you?” Adore asked.

Courtney’s eyes popped back open.

“What about me?”

“You ever like a girl?” Adore teased, poking her in the ribs. Fully expecting her to squeal in disgust, or burst out laughing.

But instead, Courtney looked back at her and said, “Besides you?”

Adore stared back at her for a long, heated moment. A million thoughts swirled in her head, but none so strong as the realization that Courtney was just fucking around, making her pay for her teasing. Adore started to laugh, shaking her head.

“Good one, bitch.”

Overcome with an impulse she couldn’t ignore, Courtney leaned forward and pressed her lips to Adore’s. And for a moment, it was perfect—Adore’s soft lips against hers, breath sweet and smoky from the drinks. And then Courtney felt a hand on her shoulder, shoving her backward.

Courtney clapped a hand over her mouth. What was wrong with her? This was exactly how she’d fucked things up last time. Her cheeks blazed red.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-”

“I know,” Adore said hoarsely.

Courtney’s eyes filled with tears, terrified that this time, she’d fucked up for good.

“Are you mad?” she whispered.

“No.” Adore shook her head, giving a wry smile and reaching forward to pry the bottle from her fingers. “But you’ve probably had enough of this.”

Courtney let out a relieved chuckle, tension leaving her body as she laid back down against the bean bag chair. Things were okay; they were still friends and everything was back to normal. Or at least, as normal as possible.

“Dory?”

“Yeah?”

“Will you snuggle with me?” she asked, voice soft and tentative.

Adore turned to her friend, giving a gentle nod, saying “Of course,” before curling up beside her.

For a second, as she breathed in, Adore realized that Courtney must have switched shampoos. The scent of her hair was different, and the unfamiliarity of it gave Adore a strange pang of sadness.

But then, as they settled in some more, Adore realized that lingering beneath the surface was something she knew very well, something innately her that would never go away, no matter what perfumes she might use. And that, the sameness, was enough to make her smile to herself, arms wrapping tightly around Courtney as she pulled her in close.

[veronicamarsconfessions]

When Hulu announced it was reviving the cult favorite Veronica Mars for an eight-episode fourth season, the new episodes were initially referred to as a limited series. But in the year 2019, the phrase "limited series" also holds no meaning. If a show is successful enough, a network or streaming service will find a way to bring it back. Veronica Mars creator Rob Thomas has been vocal about his desire to continue Veronica's story beyond this new season, which Hulu refers to as Season 4, while series star Kristen Bell would be happy to play the show's eponymous sleuth until "until everyone in Neptune is dead." And for most of Season 4, that felt like a real possibility.

Although the show may never again reach the exciting highs of that first season, for a little while, simply being in Veronica's orbit again was enough to keep viewers happy and entertained. However, in the wake of the shocking, and frankly unnecessary, death of Logan Echolls (Jason Dohring), whom Veronica married in the finale and who was a key part of the show's enduring legacy, it's difficult to see how the show can continue with the same level of fan support that twice brought it back from the dead. And yet, Thomas is still hoping it will.

"The hope we have going into these eight episodes is that we get to do more of them. And my belief is that those will be better with Veronica Mars as the lead of a noir detective series who does not have a boyfriend or a husband," Thomas explained to TV Guide. "In order for us to keep doing these, I think it needs to become a detective show — a noir, mystery, detective show — and those elements of teenage soap need to be behind us. I sort of viewed these eight episodes as a bridge to what Veronica Mars might be moving forward."

Thomas said he wants to continue Veronica Mars as a Sherlock-esque series, one that can hopefully return with new seasons whenever Thomas and Bell can make their schedules align. This hypothetical version of the series would find Veronica solving different cases around the country, and a significant other for the show's heroine apparently doesn't fit into that plan. But the power of the Logan-Veronica relationship and what it meant to fans of the show should not be underestimated. To assume that viewers would even be interested in a Logan-less Veronica Mars almost feels like a fundamental misreading of the fandom.

Of course, this isn't meant to suggest that Veronica Mars cannot exist without Logan — that would be to belittle Veronica and her many achievements; although Logan clearly left an indelible mark on her, Veronica has accomplished plenty on her own without him, and she will no doubt find similar success in the future, especially if she stays in therapy and learns healthy methods of coping with her trauma. But at the same time, Logan is still a major character who was both deeply loved by Veronica and greatly beloved by a number of the show's fans. His sudden death and the reasoning behind it feels like a betrayal that becomes even more painful when you consider Logan's secretive military career would have been an easy way of writing him out of future installments without piercing the hearts of fans everywhere.

Further explaining the difficult decision to kill off Logan, Thomas revealed he worries that whenever a show reaches a romantic conclusion — like, say, a wedding — it also reaches a finale of sorts, and he's not ready for Veronica Mars to be over. This argument not only feels a bit dated, but it also feels a little misguided when a show like Friday Night Lights has already proven that a happy couple in a lasting, loving relationship can make for compelling television, or when series like Bones, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, and Parks and Recreation have shown us that will-they, won't-they couples can get together without signaling the end of the road.

Knowing this, Logan's death feels needlessly cruel like it was a narrative decision seemingly meant only to further torment Veronica and leave her cold and isolated. While you can argue it serves to once again show just how resilient Veronica is in the face of adversity, how she always gets back up after the world has knocked her down, how much pain and heartache does Veronica have to go through before saying enough is enough? It's honestly exhausting. So, if fans are tired of seeing Veronica constantly having to endure a painful existence to somehow prove she's a great heroine and they choose to no longer watch the show because of this latest development, it's perfectly reasonable. And if fans are angry that Logan is dead and choose to no longer watch Veronica Mars because of this, it is pretty understandable too. However, even if fans can somehow stomach the idea of a Veronica Mars without Logan Echolls, Thomas' vision for the show's future raises more issues. Mainly, new seasons would find Veronica alone, separated from the town she knows and the people who call it home, and this would mean erasing yet another fundamental part of the show.

For four seasons (and a movie), Neptune and its inhabitants have added depth to its rich and rewarding story. Creators love to describe the location of a series as if it's a character in the story, and this is most often a frustrating sentiment that has lost all meaning through overuse, but Neptune is truly an example of a location that has played a major role in shaping not only the show's characters but also its ongoing narrative. Although the town is no longer the same as it once was — the class war and accompanying social commentary that dominated the series from the start is over after these eight episodes, as the town's wealthy elite have succeeded in pushing the working class out — that doesn't necessarily mean the best course of action is for Veronica to skip town and solve cases around the country. Like many shows before it, Veronica Mars is the story of a specific place, and if the show is to continue beyond these eight new episodes, it probably should remain committed to telling the stories of Neptune — at the very least Southern California — if for no other reason than the fact the show owes a lot to the exceptional supporting cast that calls it home and has brought its story to life since 2004.

After all, if Veronica leaves Neptune, where does that leave her father, Keith (Enrico Colantoni)? Thomas said the character may not make an appearance in hypothetical future seasons of the show, and that almost feels incomprehensible. Veronica's relationship with her father is the bedrock upon which the series has rested since the pilot. Even when the show was at its most uneven you could count on Veronica and Keith's powerful family dynamic to ground the story emotionally. And although Veronica is now an adult in her 30s, their relationship is the single most important relationship in her life in the wake of Logan's untimely death. To remove him from the equation entirely threatens to disrupt far more than the status quo, which is what Thomas's intention is by taking Veronica on the road. A Veronica Mars without Keith's stabilizing presence would make for a shell of a series, one that would only be further harmed if Veronica's chosen family — Wallace (Percy Daggs III), Mac (Tina Majorino), and Weevil (Francis Capra) — were to suddenly disappear from her life as well.

Now, the show hopes to minimize this instability by essentially skipping over Veronica's grieving period. As Thomas said, one of the reasons the season includes a flash-forward is so the series doesn't have to spend time actually depicting Veronica's grief. "Our bread and butter is being quick and funny, and I'm not sure it'd be to our benefit to living a year in Veronica's grief on our show," Thomas said, noting that by the end of the season Veronica is actually getting her feet back under her.

But even if Veronica has recovered from her latest trauma, Logan's death is still raw for viewers, and it's painful enough without having to consider that every familiar source of comfort could be ripped away at once in the potential next season. Even beyond the show's core supporting cast, Veronica Mars is home to a memorable motley crew who have brought Neptune to life, and their presence in future installments, no matter how small, would be a cool balm on fresh wounds. Plus, what does the show look like without them? Ryan Hansen's self-centered party king Dick Casablancas, Max Greenfield's charming Leo D'Amato, Ken Marino's skeezy private detective Vinnie Van Lowe, and Daran Norris' reliable public defender Cliff McCormack have all become fan favorites. They each play a necessary role in the show's ecosystem, much like the Fighting Fitzpatricks or the PCHers have done over the years.

Veronica Mars has excelled at building out its little corner of the world by populating it with unique but believable characters, and it's not to suggest that a version of the show that exists outside the world of Neptune won't be able to successfully reach the same depths or recreate that magic in the same way, but it will have to work a lot harder to do it, especially if future seasons once again have a limited episode count. Furthermore, even if new seasons turn out to be good, the truth is that a Veronica Mars outside of Neptune, one without any familiar faces in sight, would feel like a very different show, one that threatens to not feel like Veronica Mars at all.

Veronica Mars helped to usher in the tidal wave of revivals and reboots that is still washing over Hollywood some five years after the fan-funded feature film hit theaters, and when this second revival was first announced last year, I wrote that the show should also be the series that puts an end to that trend too. It was a plea in favor of originality at a time when original ideas felt about as impossible as a unicorn. I still believe this should be the end of the revival trend, but now it's because this is a classic case of the writers thinking so much about whether or not they could do something that they didn't stop to consider if they should. In the end, we got eight more episodes of Veronica Mars, but it came at a deadly cost, and now we live in a world where Logan Echolls is dead and Veronica Mars is leaving Neptune. Was it really worth it?