#and she keeps walking deeper and deeper into it!
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cherrygirlfriend · 1 day ago
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touchy subject pairing: reader x exfiancé!rafe synopsis: seeing your ex-fiancé after four years. warnings: angst, some fluff, mentions of a miscarriage, just pure agony! wc: 1.8k inspired by the song 'touchy subject' by peach prc.
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a white baby gate fixed in my hallway stays haunting the house with the angels we made; sometimes, i dream, a decade away, we meet in a grocery store; you look the same, with just a few grey hairs. the blonde little girl who tugs on your shirt with your smile looks nothing like me.
it had been four years since you had last been on kildare island; four years of trying to forget the life, or the ruined bones of one, that you'd been escaping from.
after ending your engagement with your fiancé, you'd traveled all around the country in your beat-up truck, hoping to find a place where you'd belong; only to end up back in the outer banks. they say there's no place like home, and in a way, it was true. you can leave kildare island, but kildare island will never leave you.
"everything okay?"
you're startled out of your thoughts by the melodic sound of your mother's voice, and when she follows your gaze to the baby-gate attached to the door leading to the kitchen, her mouth twists into a frown. "i was meant to take that down before you got here..." she chewed on her lower lip, a pang of guilt almost punching her in the chest.
"it's fine." you shrug, trying to lift the ends of your lips into a smile, only for it to look artificial and rehearsed. "i should start unpacking."
"alright." your mother placed her hand on your shoulder, but should've been a comforting gesture, made you feel like you were underwater and the hand was simply pushing you deeper.
you stood alone in the living room of your apartment, the only thing to be heard of was the ticking of the clock your mother had already mounted on the clock, mixed in with the sounds of passing cars, so unlike the day you first moved into the apartment, yet so much like the day you were last there.
"you should keep the apartment."
"rafe, i can't do that. it's way too much, and i'm leaving-"
"it's already in your name." the man sighed, smoothing his hand over his shaved head; he looked so different than usual, the dark bags under his eyes making him look like he had aged ten years, his usually tan face almost pale. "you can do whatever you want with it. keep it, sell it, i don't care. it's yours. i never want to step foot in this place again."
your feet were almost moving on their own, the hardwood floor cold under your feet, leading you to that door, and even though you felt your blood run cold, every cell of your body telling you not to open it, you couldn't help but nudge the door open.
you didn't know what you were expecting.
stepping into the room, you let your hand trail over the soft-pink wall, still remembering the smell of paint.
"you know, you shouldn't be doing that." he sighed, leaning against the doorway. "i can just hire someone to paint the walls."
you roll your eyes, your denim overalls covered in the soft pink paint as the paint stained the white wall, "i want to do this. i'm not gonna hire someone to do everything for me when i'm perfectly fine doing it on my own."
"you're not-"
"hush." you pointed the paint roller at rafe, "i'm doing this. now pick up a paint roller or quit whining."
you look down at the crib, lined with white lace, picking up the brown teddy bear that used to belong to you when you were a child, brushing your hand over the fur, straightening the pink bow around its neck.
hung above the crib, was a picture of a couple that had just gotten engaged, wide smiles on both of their faces; a couple that had once been so familiar to you, but now, it was like you couldn't recognize either of the people in the photos.
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it felt like everyone was staring at you as they walked past you; four years clearly hadn't been long enough to make the people of outer banks forget about you, and as you made your way towards the local cafe, you couldn't help but think about how long it'd take for the person you didn't want to know you were in town to find out.
you were strolling down the street, rafe's hand in yours, your fingers intertwined. you licked the ice cream cone, deep in thought, letting rafe take the lead.
"what's going through that pretty head of yours?" he chuckled softly, bringing your hand up to his lips, pressing a kiss to the back of it, your engagement ring glimmering under the sunlight.
"baby names." you shrug, "what should we name her?"
"do you have any names in mind?"
"i was thinking..." you pursed your lips, not sure if the name you had been considering would be appropriate or not, chewing on your lower lip as you turn your head to face your fiancé, an expectant smile on his lips and his brows lifted in question, "evelyn."
when the name left your lips, you saw his mouth fall open, and for a moment you thought that you never should've spoken, but after rafe cleared his throat, there was a clear smile on his lips, his blue eyes glassy.
"you- you uh, wanna name her after my mom?"
"yeah." you smile, squeezing his hand. "i do."
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for the millionth night, you were laid in bed, looking through pictures, featuring the faces of the couple above the crib in the room next door. pictures with the man's arms wrapped around the woman's waist, ones of them holding hands, ones where one was pressing a kiss the other person's cheek, ones from the several midsummers parties they spent together, ones from halloween, thanksgiving, christmas...
the girl in the dress she had planned to wear on her wedding day.
"rafe, where are you taking me?" you laughed, the blindfold covering your eyes, "if the blindfold's for some kinky purpose, you better forget about it."
rafe laughed, continuing to lead you, his large hands on your waist, "come on, have a little faith in me. i'm not that bad, am i?"
"oh, you definitely are. just last week we were an hour late to ava's party because you just thought i was irresistible."
rafe snorted, "well, that's because you were." he pressed a kiss on your cheek, "you can take it off." he whispered, taking a step away from you.
untying the blindfold, you blinked a few times, letting yourself get used to actually being able to see again, only to be startled by the sight of your boyfriend on one knee in front of you, a small velvet box in his hand, "rafe...?"
you wiped away the stray tear that had left your eye without permission before it could reach your jaw, continuing to scroll through the pictures, knowing that it'd be yet another sleepless night, but when you saw a picture of her, you paused.
you weren't sure who was more nervous, you or rafe, even though you were the one in the examination chair, your shirt pulled up and your rounded stomach on full display. his hand was tightly gripping yours, the man's jaw clenched.
"let's take a look, shall we?" the ultrasound technician smiled, and you nodded, feeling her spread the cold gel onto your stomach, a slight yelp leaving your lips, making rafe squeeze your hand even tighter. you looked to him, nodding reassuringly, speaking softly, "it's okay."
rafe's grip loosened slightly and he softened his grip, both of you turning your heads to the screen, and the moment you saw the little lump on the screen, you couldn't help but feel tears stinging in your eyes.
"look. that's our baby."
"shit..." rafe stared at the screen wide-eyed, letting out a low breath, "that's our baby."
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just like on any average day on the island, the sun was shining, your skin radiating with warmth as you walked down the street, looking in through shop windows; it had been a few days since you'd first stepped outside, and it seemed like your arrival had become widespread news, and you didn't receive as many stares as you did before.
you arrived at rafe's door, bringing your hand up and pounding on the door before you could stop yourself and chicken out for the third time that week. you were a wreck, unable to sleep, to think about anything other than how much you knew you needed to talk to rafe.
you waited, tapping your foot against the ground and biting down on your lip, when finally, the door slowly started opening, a small smile forming on rafe's lips when he realized that it was you.
"hey baby," he chuckled softly, placing his hands on your waist, "you miss me so much you couldn't even text me to let you know you were coming?" he grinned.
"i have to talk to you." you pull away from his embrace, taking his hands off your waist, the blonde looking down at you with furrowed brows, crossing his arms in front of his broad chest, clearly alarmed by the slight frown on your lips.
"what's wrong?"
"i'm pregnant."
without even realizing it, you had stopped in front of a jewelry store, gazing inside at the things on display as you were going down memory lane inside your head. you let out a small chuckle, about to step back and continue walking, when your blood ran cold, the smile fading away from your face, feeling as if someone had stabbed you in the heart.
to anyone else, it would've just been the backs of two random people. but even without seeing his face, you could recognize the only man you'd ever loved no matter where you went.
his short-sleeved white collared shirt was tucked into his dark jeans, riding up slightly as he ran a hand through his hair, having grown out slightly since the last time you'd seen it, his signet ring on his middle finger.
you saw him let out a chuckle, and you could almost picture how it'd sound, his hand going to rest on the back of the person he was with.
a younger woman smiled up at him, and even just from her side profile, you could tell that she was gorgeous, her flaming hair flowing over her shoulders, the smile on her face genuine, matching his.
and when you saw what she was holding up and showing to him, the knife in your chest was twisted.
an engagement ring.
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radiance1 · 3 days ago
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"Mom, Dad. I have something to tell you."
Danny said, twin rings going up and down his body respectively as he went ghost. Then back as he turned back to Danny.
"Tada..?" He said, shaking his hands after he was finished.
Jack and Maddie sat silent on the other side of the table, eyes wide as they just... Stared at him. His mom's hands were over her mouth, while his dad's mouth just hung open.
Jack pushed himself away from the table, getting up and walking out of the room.
"Honey!" Maddie said, turning to look in his direction. She briefly glanced between Danny and the doorway, before getting up herself and following after Jack.
Danny looked down, placing his hands down on the table and interlocking them as an uneasy smile graced his face.
'Fuck.' He thought. 'I should've done this when Jazz was here.'
Now, Danny isn't scared of his parents per se. Having escaped from them multiple times up until this very moment, and having fought and won over ghosts that embodied concepts toughened him up considerably.
But, just because he isn't scared doesn't mean he isn't uneasy.
He really should have waited for Jazz-
"Danny," His mother's voice broke him out of his thoughts as she walked back into the room and took her seat. She rubbed a hand against her temple, looking down at the table. "Your father... Needs a moment. Just to collect his thoughts, alright?"
"Uh, yea I understand." Danny pulled his hands back and down into his lap.
Maddie gave the movement a brief glance, but chose not to comment.
"Listen, this..." Maddie released a breath, placing her hands down on the table and interlocking her fingers. "Is news that neither of us ever expected, and frankly it is hard to believe that you aren't just a ghost who took the body of my son-"
Danny's breath hitched.
"-But I want, no." Her eyes hardened, forcibly releasing the tension from her shoulders. "I need to give you a chance. This, a chance. Before I do something I might regret." There was something in her eyes that Danny couldn't recognize, and he fought to keep looking into her eyes.
"Th-That's good." He said, bringing a hand up to rub against the back of his neck. "Yea. Good. Good." He couldn't help but look down, digging his fingers into his thigh.
Fuck. Why was he trembling?
He's had way, way worse than this. Survived way worse than this. It's just his parents. Just his regular old, maybe a bit hyper fixated and ghost hating parents that threatened to dissect him on various occasions and tried to do the same to other ghosts-
Danny dug his fingers a bit deeper, forcibly exhaling.
Just. His parents.
"How long." His head snapped back up to Maddie as she spoke, it didn't seem to be a question. Something she seemed to realize as she softened slightly. "How long, have you been a ghost?" She asked, quietly, softly.
There was something there that Danny, despite everything, couldn't identify.
"Since," He started, before swallowing when his mouth felt dry all of a sudden. "Since you guys. Um. Built the portal." His fingers dug into his neck, and he felt something wet under his nails and a stinging on his neck before he pulled away and put it into his lap. "And, you know. Thought it didn't work."
Maddie's breath hitched, and her eyes screwed shut. Interlocked hands tightening on the table as her lip quivered.
"I..." She began, slowly. Voice trembling before she smoothed it back out, trying to restore some semblance of calm. "I see." She exhaled, slowly. Still keeping her eyes closed.
It... Hurt. To see her like this. To see his mother so shaken up.
He shouldn't have told them.
But it seemed to be going well.
Was it even worth it?
He hopes it keeps going well.
He should have just kept it a secret.
"The portal." She finally began again when her hands stopped shaking. "It opened on you, didn't it? And then you-" She paused, trying to get the words out. "You died. Didn't you?"
Danny nodded, before remembering that her eyes were still closed. "Y-eA." He said, voice breaking at the end.
He was glad her eyes were closed, just because she couldn't see the embarrassment on his face.
"I was hoping you would say no." Maddie said, reopening her eyes and looking down at her hands. "I so, so desperately want to believe this to be some trick by Phantom or- well, you. I want this to be a prank, or some nightmare, and to just wake up and know that you're still alive-"
"Well, I am." Danny shrugged, eyes darting towards a nearby wall. "Technically, half and half, y'know?" He said, making a so-so gesture.
"Are you?" She asked, eyes narrowing slightly as she looked up at him. "That would explain why you don't look like a ghost, but-"
She paused, eyes widening.
Okay, now this Danny could recognize.
Recognition and horror.
"Oh... Oh God." She looked back down hands breaking apart as one covered her mouth. She shook in her seat, hunching in on herself. "We-We chased you. Shot at you and said we would rip you apart." Her eyes grew wet, tears slipping down her cheeks. "We wanted to dissect you and said it in front of your face."
"Well, technically it would be a vivisection-"
Maddie closed her eyes, a sob ripping from her throat.
Danny shut his mouth.
Danny watched as his mother cried on the opposite side of the table. At this moment, for some reason, she looked so far from him. Like he could reach out, climb over the table, and still not reach her. Like there was some great, unfathomable distance, between them.
He looked down at the table, at his hands. One of them, the one he dug into his thigh, felt wet. He pulled away his hand, and saw... Well, blood.
Weird.
He didn't feel anything.
"I'm sorry." His mother sobbed, and for some reason her voice seemed so quiet even as he looked up at her. He could see her, yet why did she seem so far away? "I'm so, so sorry." She said.
And Danny...
Danny didn't know what to do.
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zepskies · 2 days ago
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Wowowow!! 😍 First of all, thanks so much. You really spoiled me with this review and it totally made my day!
I find it really interesting that this fic is the first one you've read from me, since it's such a "niche" pairing. But I love that you loved it (and my writing 🥰)!! Christmas is my favorite holiday too -- in no small part because of the food! lol I had fun incorporating my family's traditions into this one, and of course, feeding Dean. 😆
Diving into the rest of your amazing (and hilarious) comments below!
(you should know as I'm typing this I am daydreaming about the flan, you should just straight up know that LOL)
Giiiirl, get you some flan! My mom makes it so good. I can't wait for the holidays. 😮‍💨
I am happily being led while pushing Dean out of the way to get to it first. Lovingly of course lol.
lolll I'm dead! I can picture Dean's (playful) outrage. 😂
Not going to lie, I'd be giving Sam a little bit of the stink eye myself. What is so wrong with Dean enjoying himself a little? Besides...give me ALL the flan!!! Sam doesn't know what he's missing.
Right? Don't bother the man on Christmas lmao. Sam ate plenty on this round too, he has no room to judge! 😆
This right here is perfection. It made my heart break for Dean as well as Sam for their childhood, what Dean had to sacrifice at times to take care of Sam, how Sam never realized it before...just so perfectly written and so on point.
Aww thank you. It was an HC of mine that stemmed from bits we got of their childhood, and that one ep where someone was like, "You ever been hungry? Like haven't eaten in days, hungry?" And Dean was like, "Yeah..." 😭😭
I feel like from Sam's POV, he would never have known hunger with Dean around, even when things were tight and they were waiting on John.
Moments like this are worth melting for. 😉 (seriously though, I'm pretty sure I have to call someone to get the wetvac to get me up off of the floor)
LOLL honestly same! Oh for Dean to gather me to his chest in a warm snuggle. 🫠🫠
The whole ending scene just makes my heart glad, especially with her offering to go for a walk with Dean, most likely keeping in mind what Sam said (while Sam is keeping what she said in mind - like I said, perfection!) , but I especially loved the ending sequence right here:
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Ahhh you caught what I was laying down there! She cares about Dean's health, but she also cares about his happiness. While Sam's now going to be taking what she said into account and try to have a convo with his brother about it in the future.
Ahaha and he so DOES wear shorts when the need arises! 😏
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This was just beyond sweet and it was something I very much needed back when I read through it the first time. (I'm sorry I didn't leave feedback until now! I'm trying to be better about that these days) I love the way you write the Winchesters and this one shot cemented you as one of my favorite writers I've come across in this fandom (as well as a few others 😉).
Aww I'm so glad this little fic could give you some much needed escapism. (It's ok, friend. I'm just grateful that you did!) And that's an amazing compliment, thank you!! I'm honored to be counted as one of your favorites! 😭💜
I definitely cannot wait to dive into the Midnight Espresso verse and get more of these two. You did a beautiful job here, lovely!!! Well done!!! 😊💖💖
I would absolutely love it if you delved deeper into the Midnight Espresso verse!! It's a passion series of mine, so it really means that much more to me that you enjoyed it, as well as left such a heartfelt review. 💕
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Get Stuffed
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Pairing: Dean Winchester x Plus-sized Latina!Reader
Summary: Dean enjoys the way you cook Christmas dinner with a Latin flair, even if Sam likes to tease him about his insatiable appetite. You remind Sam about the true reason behind one of Dean’s biggest quirks.
AN: This was requested by my lovely friend @iprobablyshipit91: Sam making the usual digs at Dean about his diet, and how much he eats, and the reader pulling him aside and telling him to back off as he doesn’t realize how much Dean went hungry as a kid to make sure Sam was fed.
Word Count: 1,800 Tags/Warnings: Fluff, innuendo, tinge of angst
**This story can be read as stand-alone, but you can also check out the full masterlist of one-shots below. ⤵️
☕ Midnight Espresso Masterlist
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“Aw, hell yeah,” Dean mutters. He rubs his hands together and surveys the immovable feast that’s about to get shoveled into his mouth.
This Christmas marks roughly your first year living with the brothers Winchester in the bunker, and a few months after your first anniversary with Dean.
He’s made it very clear that he enjoys your cooking, especially of Cuban food. So you’ve gone all out for Christmas: white rice and your grandmother’s recipe for black beans, boiled yuca with plenty of garlic, bread drizzled with more garlic and olive oil, and Dean’s favorite…
“What’s this part of the pig called again?” he asks. And he uses a large fork to spear into the mountain of roasted meat that you’ve already cut and piled onto a platter.
You come in from the kitchen with the bread in hand, placing it on the dinner table. You sidle up behind him, where he's seated.
“The shoulder,” you say, squeezing both of Dean’s. He hums in interest as you press a kiss to the side of his head. “It’s called pernil. Marinated with garlic, mojo, bunch of good stuff.”
He predictably steals a juicy piece of meat, plopping it into his mouth. He grins while he chews and makes a happy sound.
“Ohoho, yeah.”
You share an amused look with Sam, who sits beside his brother. By the time you’ve found your seat on Dean’s other side, he’s already serving you and Sam the same hefty portions he serves himself.
You know for a fact you’re only going to eat about half of your plate. Sam manages to polish his off. Dean does as well…and serves himself twice more before you break out the dessert.
“Please tell me that’s a flan,” Dean says, drumming his fingers on the table.
“How the hell are you still hungry?” Sam asks.
The look on his face says he’s half entertained, half disgusted. Dean is still sucking on the crispy skin on a piece of pork. He licks the juices off his fingers.
“Have I taught you nothing?” he says. “There’s always room for dessert.”
He tosses you a wink, followed closely by a suggestive smirk. You glance at him with a smile as you set down the metal pan.
“It is a flan,” you affirm. “I tried my hand at coconut this time.”
“Ooh, tropical,” Dean says, waggling greasy fingers. He wipes them on a napkin before he reaches for the pie cutter, which is usually reserved for his favorite dessert. Although, flan is rapidly becoming his second go-to. The rich custardy goodness is calling to him like a siren song.
“How can I get you to make this more often?” Dean mutters while carving out a generous slice.
Your lips curve. You rest your chin on your hand and lean towards him, earning his gaze. “If I made it all the time, you wouldn’t savor it, now would you?”
Dean smirks. His gaze lowers to your lips, like he’s contemplating some persuasive maneuvers.
“You’d also be 300 pounds,” Sam remarks, taking a sip of his beer.
You eye Sam with a frown. But Dean just laughs it off and cuts his little brother a slice.
By the end of the meal, all three of you are stuffed. Dean groans and leans back in his seat. A gurgle mounts audibly from his stomach.
“Jesus. Are you erupting?” Sam says.
Dean holds up a finger. “Wait for it.”
You give your boyfriend a bemused look. You know exactly what’s about to happen. As does Sam, who’s grimacing.
A few seconds later, Dean does erupt, with a truly legendary belch.
“Nice,” you say wryly. Dean squeezes your soft, thick thigh and backs his chair away from the table.
“Well, since I roasted the pig and you did the rest, I’d say it’s Sammy’s turn on cleaning duty,” he says.
“Thanks,” Sam says, with a wan smile. Yours is more jovial, even as Dean’s hand toys with a curl of your hair after he stands.
“I’m gonna shower off the meat sweats,” he says.
You giggle, but you nod. “You do that. I’ll help Sam a bit, put away the food at least.”
Your smile becomes more genuine when Dean drops a kiss on your forehead from above.
“Thanks, sweetheart,” he says. His voice is a quiet, deep rumble washing over you. You know what he’s thanking you for: good food, and a small, but warm Christmas.
You reach up and give his cheek a tender touch, before he withdraws and makes his way to the bedroom he shares with you. It leaves you and Sam to collect what’s on the table and bring it all into the kitchen. While Sam does the dishes, you start to put away the leftovers.
Something has been nagging at you all night, though you’ve tried to stamp it down time and time again. You don’t know if it's your place to say something. Especially if Dean doesn’t seem bothered…but it bothers you. And you’ve never been one to hold your tongue.
“Hey, can I ask you something?” you begin, even as a small bit of trepidation niggles inside you.
Sam looks over at you. He’s quick to catch the serious note in your demeanor.
“Yeah, what’s up?” he replies. You okay? his eyes also ask.
“Why do you get on Dean so much for enjoying his food?” you ask.
Sam blinks. Then he scoffs a little. “There’s enjoying, and then there’s gluttony.”
“He’s not that bad,” you argue.
“He ate half his weight in pig,” Sam says. You can’t exactly deny that, but you cross your arms and turn to him, leaning your hip against the counter.
“So? It’s Christmas. Let him be happy,” you retort.
Sam levels you with pinched brows. “He’s not in his 20s anymore. All that crap he eats is going to catch up to him someday.”
“What, you expect him to down some kale smoothies?” you reply, giving a pointed brow raise and a teasing smile. “Get up at the crack of dawn for a bare-chested run?”
Sam shoots you a dry look.  
“My point is, I’m not gonna survive hundreds of monster attacks just to get taken down by cholesterol,” he says.
You sigh a raise a placating hand. “All right. I get what you’re saying. I’m just saying…have you ever thought about why he loves food so much? Why he overindulges sometimes?”
Sam's brow quirks. It’s a question you know you need to tread lightly in order to answer. You uncross your arms to lay a hand on Sam’s wrist. He stops washing dishes and turns off the sink to give you his full attention, sensing your shift.
You look up at him, and you steel yourself.
“He might’ve mentioned once…that you two sometimes had a hard time growing up. With John taking you guys from motel to motel while he was working a job, and every now and then, leaving you guys alone longer than he meant to.”
Dean had been more than a bit drunk when you’d gotten this out of him. Hearing about that aspect of his upbringing had upset you, not just as someone who cared about him, but the caretaker in you smarted.
“Even though you guys didn’t have enough money at times, your brother always made sure you were fed,” you explain. You meet Sam’s gaze, squeezing his arm. “Sometimes he went without.”
Sam’s expression slowly slackens, contemplative and dismayed at what you’re implying. He dries his hands on a kitchen towel and rubs at his mouth, like he’s reeling back the years of evidence in his mind and trying to confirm if you were right.
“You don’t remember?” you gently ask.
Sam shakes his head. “I mean, I knew things were tight. I remember him taking care of me, obviously. But…”
He doesn’t remember his brother going hungry.
It carves a hole of remorse in his chest.
This isn’t the first time he’s had to reexamine Dean’s role in his life, and not the first time he’s felt this flavor of guilt. But he sighs and really doesn’t know what to say.
You seem to realize that, and you squeeze his arm one last time.
“Just keep that in mind,” you implore.
You soon leave him to venture upstairs, but there in the kitchen, Sam makes a resolution before the new year. One that includes having a conversation with his brother.
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You find Dean in your bedroom. Now in his most threadbare sweatpants and an old black shirt, he lays over the covers on the bed. His eyes are closed and his arms are folded behind his head, but he hears you when you come in.
You slide into bed next to him and lay your head on his chest. He groans deep and slowly lowers his arms. One of them wraps around your frame.
“Think I overdid it a bit,” he admits, cracking his eyes open. You smile and gently pat his stomach. 
“Wanna go for a walk tomorrow?” you ask. “We can go down to the park.”
Dean raises a brow at you. “You hate walking.”
“Not true,” you shake your head, before you rest more comfortably against him. He tucks you in beside him and begins to run his fingers down your arm. It’s a bit distracting.
“Could be nice, with the right view,” you add, though you shiver a little at his touch.
Dean makes a sound of mild interest in the idea. “I guess, if you like stringy trees and frozen lakes.”
It’s winter in Lebanon. Not much to look at.
You smirk and press a kiss to his chest. “I mean, that, and you in some little Richard Simmons shorts.”
Dean gives you a look, and you giggle so hard it shakes your whole body against him.
“Honestly, I think that’ll really do it for me,” you tease. You walk two fingers across his thigh, where a cute pair of ‘80s-style exercise shorts would cut off.
Dean grabs your hand and rolls you over, pinning you underneath him on the bed. His thigh slips between both of yours, causing friction against your jeans. And he smirks down at you.
“Sweetheart, I don’t do shorts.”
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AN: 😂 A little callback to S1 at the end there. I hope you guys liked this! Just in time to prepare for my Christmas cooking! ❤️💚
Keep Reading:
Next up in this series is "A Wish to Build a Dream On":
Summary: Dean has been harboring the archangel Michael in his mind for weeks now, putting a strain on your relationship as you struggle to help him. When Dean makes a wish that accidentally brings his father back from the dead, you get to meet the (in)famous John Winchester. But as always with magic, your boyfriend’s wish has unintended consequences.
▶️ Next Story: A Wish to Build a Dream On
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meazalykov · 1 day ago
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let me in
giulia gwinn x anxiety!reader
part one - part two
summary: you try to hide it, but she already knows
warnings: diagnosed anxiety, fear, zoloft mentions, angst, split into two parts because of the word count
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the second half starts, and somehow, you manage to push through. you make an assist to sydney. for a fleeting moment, there’s a spark of joy. you’re happy for her, you really are. 
then you start to think that you’ve realized something. the acknowledgment you’re used to isn’t coming. no one is rushing to congratulate you for the assist, like they normally do for anyone else who makes a great play. 
you know it’s not because they don’t care, but your mind betrays you. it starts spinning with doubt, with fear. did they notice the mistake you made earlier? do they think you’re not good enough? why is no one congratulating you?
your heart beats faster now, the panic rising again. you try to push the thoughts aside, to focus on the game, but the fear is too strong. it’s all you can think about. 
then, a familiar voice pulls you from your spiraling thoughts. pernille is next to you, her arms around you in a tight hug. 
“you did great,” she says, her voice warm and reassuring. 
tuva follows, giving you a pat on the back, and for a brief moment, the fog lifts. you’ve made a mistake, but they don’t hate you. they don’t blame you. they still believe in you.
your heart is still racing, too fast, too loud, pounding against your chest like it's trying to break free. calm down, calm down, you tell yourself, but it doesn’t help. 
nothing helps. it’s like a constant hum of anxiety buzzing in your ears, drowning out everything else.
when the coach calls for the substitution, you barely register it at first. you’re already so deep in your head that the words don't hit until he’s looking directly at you, a hint of concern in his eyes. you blink, startled, as he gives a quick nod towards the sideline. 
linda comes on for you, and you give her a light hug before the coach reaches out to put his hand on your shoulder.
"y/n, rest. you did great. go ahead and sit the last twenty minutes out."
it feels like the earth shifts beneath your feet. the pressure mounting in your chest. as you walk toward the benches , all you can feel is this deep sense of failure. 
I didn’t do well. I wasn’t good enough. that’s why he’s subbing me off. 
your pulse doesn’t slow down as you sit on the bench, your leg bouncing uncontrollably. you try to still it, but your body doesn’t listen. it’s as if the constant movement is the only thing you can do to release the built-up energy inside of you. 
I wasn’t good enough, you repeat, the thoughts relentless, pushing through the cracks in your mind. 
sam kerr sits beside you, and without a word, she leans her head on your shoulder. it’s a small gesture, but it’s enough. the weight of her support, her presence, pulls you out of the storm in your head, if only for a moment. 
“great job love,” you hear her say silently, and you want to believe her, want to feel proud of what you’ve done, but it’s so hard to shake the feeling of not being enough. 
you glance back at the field, watching the play unfold, but your focus isn’t there. your body feels heavy, and your mind is racing. 
I don’t belong here. I can’t even finish a game. I’m not enough for this team. 
the rest of the game moves in a blur as you try to calm your breathing, to remind yourself that it’s okay, that you’re doing your best. 
the anxiety has a grip on you, pulling you deeper. your leg keeps bouncing, faster now, each movement a desperate attempt to release the tension building inside you. it’s exhausting, and the fear is suffocating. 
when the coach comes over after the game, his words are meant to comfort you. 
“y/n, you did great out there. you’re doing everything right. you just needed a break—take it easy.” but they don’t sink in, not right away. you nod and give him a quick smile, but it doesn’t reach your eyes. 
I didn’t do great, you think. I was subbed out. I couldn’t finish the match.
ten minutes after the ending of the game, you’re surrounded by teammates celebrating the 5-2 victory over arsenal. it should feel like a triumph, and in some ways, it does. 
when you’re talking to lea about the win, lena—still recovering from her ACL injury—suddenly picks you up from behind, lifting you off your feet in an enthusiastic embrace.
“you did so good!!!” she shouts, her voice filled with joy.
for a split second, panic courses through you. you freeze, body rigid, terrified that somehow you’re going to hurt her. you don’t want to be the reason she gets injured again. you pull away quickly, a nervous laugh escaping your lips as you explain, 
“i don’t want to be the reason you get hurt again.”
lena laughs, shaking her head. “you’re so light. you couldn’t hurt me,” she reassures you, and for the first time all day, you feel a little bit lighter. 
the fear begins to lift, and you let out a shaky breath, finally starting to believe that maybe you’re being ridiculous, you’re not as bad as your anxiety makes you think.
lea picks you up next, and for a fleeting moment, you feel the weight of your worries start to fade. the team loves you. they don’t hate you. they’re not disappointed in you. you are enough.
later that night, when you and giulia arrive home, the house feels different. quieter. more intimate. the adrenaline of the match still buzzes in your veins, but now you’re alone with giulia. 
she sits next to you on the couch, her strong arms around you as you both begin to unwind. you talk about the game. your assist, the plays you both loved from giuli, the moments that didn’t go as planned. 
then giulia’s tone shifts. she’s quieter now, her hand resting on your knee as she watches you carefully.
“how’s therapy going?” she asks, her voice gentle but probing.
the question catches you off guard, and suddenly, you’re paralyzed with fear. you’ve been hiding the truth from her for so long. the medication. the diagnosis. the fact that things haven’t gotten better, despite what you’ve been telling everyone, including her. your chest tightens as the words struggle to leave your mouth. 
(throwback) you sit in the small, sterile office at bayern’s campus, your fingers anxiously tapping against the arms of the chair. the white walls seem to close in on you as you try to focus on the woman sitting across from you. 
the psychiatrist. 
she’s kind and patient, but everything about this situation feels foreign and uncomfortable. you’re not used to talking about your feelings. you’ve spent your whole life pushing them down, burying them behind a smile, behind the constant drive to be better, to be strong. 
today, everything feels too much. too heavy.
“y/n, you’ve been dealing with a lot of pressure lately,” she says, her voice soft but steady. 
“and it’s okay to admit that you’re struggling with it. it’s more common than you might think.”
you want to argue. i’m fine, you want to say. i don’t need help. however, the words stick in your throat. you can’t lie, not anymore. not when it feels like your entire body is suffocating under the weight of everything. 
you nod, even though a part of you still wants to shut it all down. it’s too much now. the fear. the racing thoughts. the panic attacks. it’s been months, and it’s only getting worse. so you listen as the psychiatrist continues, explaining how anxiety can feel like an endless cycle that’s hard to escape, how sometimes your mind just needs help. 
medication, she suggests, can ease the constant tension, help you regain some control. 
she mentions zoloft, a small pill to take each morning. at first, the idea of it makes you cringe. medication? you’ve never been the type to rely on pills, but deep down, you know something has to change. 
you’re tired of feeling like your chest is going to explode every time you step onto the pitch. tired of the constant weight of guilt and fear that follows you everywhere.
“it might take some time to work,” she says, as if reading your mind. “it can help. we can monitor it together with the rest of the doctors here.”
you nod again, though it feels like a distant part of you is screaming to stop. you don’t want to admit that something’s wrong, that you’re not strong enough to handle it all. but here you are, agreeing to try something new, agreeing to take that pill. 
you want to believe it’ll work, but you’re also afraid it won’t. if it doesn’t, what will that say about you?
the psychiatrist hands you the prescription, and you take it, your hands shaking slightly. the weight of the small bottle feels overwhelming, like it holds all your fears inside. this is it, you think. this is the fix. this is how it’s going to get better. the thought doesn’t make you feel better. it only makes the weight heavier. what if it doesn’t work?
that night, when you get home, you find yourself standing in front of the dresser, staring at the small, nondescript bottle in your hand. 
you want to hide it. you don’t want anyone—especially giulia—to know. you can’t let her see this side of you, not when you’ve worked so hard to keep up the facade. 
without thinking, you open the drawer of your underwear dresser. it feels like the safest place, the one place where no one would look. you tuck the bottle inside, burying it underneath your things, as if hiding it will somehow make it less real. less of a reflection of what’s wrong with you.
the next morning, you take the pill as if it’s just another routine. but the guilt hangs over you, a shadow that doesn’t leave. 
you try not to think about it, but the more you take the pill each day, the worse it feels. it doesn’t help. it doesn’t change anything.you think that you’re still broken. it only makes you feel like you’re drifting farther away from yourself like you’re numbing your emotions, but not in a good way. 
it’s like you’re fading into someone else’s skin, and you don’t know how to stop it.
you feel like you’re suffocating in your own mind, and you don’t know how to explain it to giulia. 
what if she thinks I’m not good enough for her? what if she sees me as weak? she’s always been your anchor, the one person you never want to disappoint, but telling her about this... it feels like the ultimate failure.
and so, you keep it to yourself. the pill bottle stays hidden, tucked away in that drawer. the anxious thoughts continue to spiral, unchecked, but you don’t want anyone to know. not even giulia. not even her.
back to the present– giulia’s quiet, but you can feel the weight of her gaze on you. she’s waiting, and you know she’s already figured out that something’s wrong. it’s been weeks, and the cracks in your facade are starting to show.
“therapy has been fine.” you smile, pulling a loose piece of blonde hair behind giulia’s ear. her hair wasn’t in her signature ponytail braid from the game, but in loose curls over her shoulders that the braid gave her. 
you try to focus on something, anything—anything to avoid her eyes—but it’s useless. your hands are shaking, and every thought feels like it’s running away from you. the anxiety from the match still lingers in your chest, but now it’s compounded by guilt. 
guilt for not telling her sooner. guilt for hiding the truth. you feel trapped in your own head, like you’re suffocating under the weight of your own emotions.
giulia watches you carefully, her brow furrowed. she doesn’t need to ask anymore. she knows. and that’s what scares you most.
“y/n,” giulia finally says, her voice calm but firm. 
“you know we need to talk, right?”
you swallow hard. your throat feels tight, the words stuck there. you try to smile, but it feels forced, like it won’t reach your eyes. 
“about what?”
she leans forward, elbows resting on her knees, eyes never leaving yours. 
“about you. about everything you’ve been hiding.”
the words hit like a punch to the stomach, and you flinch. hiding—the word stings. because it’s true. you’ve been hiding everything. everything that’s been eating at you for months now. 
the anxiety, the fear, the constant worry that you’re not good enough—that you’ll fail again and let everyone down. especially her. the person who’s always had your back for the last five years. the person who’s seen you at your best, at your worst, and still loved you unconditionally. 
now, you’re afraid to admit that you’ve been struggling.
“giulia, I don’t—” you begin, but she interrupts, her tone sharper now, like she’s not going to let you brush it off again.
“don’t, y/n. don’t shut me out again!” giulia’s voice is soft but serious, and her eyes search yours with a piercing intensity. 
“i’ve seen the way you’ve been. I’ve seen how you’ve been withdrawing, how you’re not talking to me or anyone else about it. I know you’re not okay. I know you’re not just tired or stressed from the game. this is something else. I want to help.”
you feel your chest tighten at her words. you want to tell her everything, want to explain what’s been going on inside your head, but the fear grips you tight. 
what if she thinks you’re weak? what if she thinks she can’t handle this part of you? what if she doesn’t understand? you thought.
giulia’s expression softens, her tone gentler now, but she doesn’t back down. 
“y/n, I know you better than anyone. and I can see it. I know what’s been going on. I know you’re struggling with anxiety. and I know you’ve been taking medication for it. you don’t have to hide it from me anymore.”
the room goes quiet. your heart skips a beat, and the blood rushes to your ears. 
how does she know? you didn’t tell her. you didn’t want to burden her with it, didn’t want her to look at you differently. 
somehow, giulia knows. she’s known all along.
“giulia, I—” you start, but she cuts you off, her voice gentle but firm.
“why didn’t you tell me, y/n?” giulia asks, her voice laced with a mix of concern and hurt. 
“why didn’t you come to me? why have you been hiding this from me?”
the words hit you like a slap, and you blink back the tears that threaten to fall. 
“i didn’t want you to think I was... weak,” you admit, your voice trembling.
 i didn’t want you to think I was... broken.”
giulia leans in, her hand reaching for yours, gently taking it in hers. her grip is steady, warm, and you feel a little bit of the weight on your chest lift. 
“y/n, you’re not broken,” she says softly. 
“you’re human. and being human means you have struggles. you have fears, and you have moments where you need help. that doesn’t make you weak. it makes you real. I’m not going anywhere. I want to help you, but you have to let me in.”
you feel the tears that you’ve been holding back finally spill over, hot and unrelenting. the sobs wrack your body as giulia pulls you into her arms, holding you close. you’ve been so terrified of letting her see you like this—vulnerable, broken, messy. 
you realize that she’s not looking at you with disappointment. she’s not seeing your anxiety as a flaw or a weakness. she’s seeing you. all of you.
“i’m sorry,” you choke out, your voice muffled against her shoulder. 
“i didn’t mean to shut you out. i thought... i thought you’d think i wasn’t strong enough to be your partner anymore.”
giulia shakes her head, her fingers soothing through your hair. 
“y/n, I never thought that. I never would. I don’t need you to be perfect. I just need you to be you. and right now, that means letting me be here for you.”
“we’ll get through this together, okay?” giulia whispers into your hair, her voice filled with unwavering support. 
“you don’t have to face this alone.”
you nod against her, the sobs slowing, the tightness in your chest loosening. for the first time in months, you finally feel like you can breathe.
the morning light filters through the curtains, casting soft beams across the bedroom. the air is calm, the silence between you and giulia comfortable for once, free of the tension you’ve been carrying for weeks. luckily, you guys have the day off from anything football related so you can stay in bed for longer. 
you sit on the edge of the bed, your fingers still trembling slightly, but you’re more at ease than you’ve been in a long time. last night, you opened up to her in ways you didn’t think you could. and though your heart had pounded in your chest and the fear of being judged had nearly consumed you, giulia hadn’t wavered. 
you glance over at her, the way she’s lounging on the bed, her legs propped up under the covers, her eyes half-lidded as she smiles faintly in your direction. 
the bottle of zoloft sits on the nightstand, so small, so innocent-looking. it feels heavier than it should, but the weight is different now. 
it’s no longer just a symbol of everything that’s wrong with you. it’s a step forward. and you’re ready to take it. 
without hesitation, you pick up the bottle, twisting the cap off, feeling giulia’s gaze on you. her eyes are soft, not judgmental, just... waiting. you feel a small sense of reassurance, as if her presence alone is all you need. 
there’s no longer that nagging voice telling you to hide, to keep it to yourself. you can’t change your past, but you can change how you move forward, and you want to move forward, especially with giu. 
you take the pill, the cool surface of the tablet smooth in your fingers, and swallow it down with a sip of water. it’s such a small act, but it feels monumental.
“good morning,” giulia says, her voice light, laced with affection. her eyes soften, and she shifts slightly to make space for you on the bed. 
you settle down next to her, the pillow cool against your skin, and you let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding. giulia’s hand brushes your waist, and you lace your fingers around hers. 
“i’m proud of you, you know,” she murmurs, her voice barely above a whisper. she turns her head to look at you, her eyes warm, filled with love. there’s no judgment, just acceptance. 
you nod, trying not to let the lump in your throat get the best of you. it’s hard to believe sometimes, that she’s always going to be there, in moments like these, it feels real. it feels like you can finally breathe.
“thank you,” you reply softly, feeling a quiet sense of peace settle over you. 
“for being patient. for being so loving my love.”
giulia smiles, the softest smile you’ve ever seen. 
“you’re perfect just the way you are.” 
she brushes a stray lock of hair from your face, her touch gentle. 
life is not easy, and you’re not perfect. you don’t have to be. you have giulia, and that’s enough.
baby steps. it’s enough.
masterlist
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silhouetteonpaper · 21 hours ago
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Benched
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Summary: You’re cut from participating in missons for the foreseeable future; the news was delivered by none other than your girlfriend, Natasha. The torturous break from Avenging seems to be unfair... until you hear the other perspective. Natasha Romanoff x Reader WC: 2,393 Warnings/Themes: Angst, fluff, gun use, killing, repressing memories
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“I’m sorry?” You weren’t sure if you had heard Natasha’s words correctly; her serious tone didn’t match the saddened look on her face. She was standing across from you as you sat at the empty conference table, summoned only moments ago by the Widow herself.
“We’re benching you from missions until we feel you’re ready.” They didn’t sound any more real this time, either. Natasha, your mentor and girlfriend was telling you to sit the next few missions out. Actually, she was forcing you to sit every mission out for the foreseeable future. You were furious, but tried to keep composed as to not dig a deeper grave.
“Until you feel I’m ready? That’s subjective, how long will it take?” You questioned with crossed arms, your shoulders stuck by your ears out of defense. You’d never been like this around Nat; closed off, defensive, angry. She’d never needed to bar you from missions like this, so it was a first for the both of you.
“We feel your actions on the last mission require some time off.” She explained, noticing the unrelenting confused yet frustrated expression on your face. Natasha felt bad, she was only following the orders of her superiors. They believed that making her relay this information would soften the blow, but as your girlfriend it didn’t make it any easier.  “Look,” She walked around the table, sitting beside you. Her hand found your knee, a soft touch forcing you to unfurl your brows slightly. “This isn’t a punishment. We just want to make sure you’re okay mentally after what happened.”
She was referring to the events of yesterday's mission, something you had hoped would just get buried under the rug. It was supposed to be a simple interrogation; the team would press the target to find some confidential information. The only issue was that the target had a liking for pushing people’s buttons. His jabs were relentless, spitting insults about the people he’d killed like they were nothing.
You were only supposed to hold the gun to his head in a daunting, coercive way. So you did, for a while anyways—until he stated something you didn’t believe was humanly true.
“I don’t regret killing them.” His words had turned your blood to ice, the pointer finger stationed over the trigger shaking out of anger. He was talking about the people he killed to get close to the Avengers. Some of them being your family, the people you loved most. His greedy play was wiping pawns off the table, when in reality they were more than just objects. Natasha was originally reluctant to include you on this mission, due to your emotional connection. But this man had targeted many of the Avenger’s closest relatives, so if she benched you she’d have to bench everyone else.
It turned out she’d have to bench you anyways, as you broke protocol within seconds of his nasty comment. The gun echoed through the cellar you were all stationed in, the man suddenly going quiet as his head lolled to the side. The main source of intel for one of the biggest missions was dead. Everyone’s heads turned toward the responsible weapon; there you were, eyes wide with a smoking gun still held to his head.
After being escorted back to the compound between silent teammates, you locked yourself in your room for the night. Natasha tried to come in, knocking on your bedroom door every so often with tempting offers of cookies or movie nights, but you wouldn’t budge. The next morning, hushed whispers greeted you the second you entered the kitchen. It was obvious they were talking about you, but you couldn’t have cared less. You knew what you did was wrong, and were ready to move on. So, you acted like it didn’t happen.
Maybe that worried the team even more, especially Natasha. You weren’t one to move on from things so quick, especially considering the grudge you held for the man responsible for all that death. Breaking protocol like that and shooting an important hostage was even more out of character, you knew the importance of his intel. Running on impulse, especially in regard to your emotions was unusual, it would be for any trained agent.
But it all caught up with you, and clearly the team discussed a plan of action behind your back. They believed your slip up was more than just a mistake—that there was something deeper behind it. It was slightly offensive, seeing them assume you were emotionally inept that they didn’t even include you in the conversation. You didn’t even think hard enough on what happened to realize maybe they were right; instead you shoved it deep down inside. Now, the truth was facing you head-on, and there was no escaping it.
This isn’t a punishment? You repeated Natasha’s words in your head. It sure felt like one, your favorite thing in life being withheld like a kid getting their iPad taken away. Everyone knew how much your work meant to you, so why would they take away the one thing you loved doing? Besides, you felt fine mentally. The past was in the past, and you were ready to move forward.
“I’m fine, I swear. Please, Nat—don’t take me out of the running just because I made a mistake.” You pleaded, looking to her with a softened expression. The two of you were close, having been in an official relationship for months now. But this was uncharted territory, and the thread connecting you both was slipping as this new side of you was showing. It was her turn to become defensive as she withdrew her hand.
“A mistake? You killed our most important hostage! If you weren’t one of our top agents, Fury would’ve had you fired!” She was right, but you weren’t going to admit that. Instead you huffed, leaning back in your chair as your gaze found anywhere to look but at Natasha.
“I couldn’t let him get away with what he did.” You muttered, shaking your head. Natasha took a deep breath, concern slowly rising across her face. It was easy to see the hurt on your face, even without directly mentioning your family. They were your everything, and he killed them like they were nothing. But two wrongs don’t make a right, every agent knew that. You should’ve known that. And she didn’t want you to jeopardize your job—your passion, over your stubbornness. She leaned toward you slowly, her eyebrows lowering.
“See, this is what scares me. You knew we’d find justice eventually, but you could’t wait and it blew the entire mission.” Natasha spoke carefully, her words making your stomach churn. Scared?Blew the entire mission? Even for her, these were hasty conclusions to draw.
You crossed your arms again. “What are you insinuating?” To say you blew the entire mission was harsh, even if it was true. An agent would never blame another, not directly like this; especially when that agent was your girlfriend. You knew there was more to it, the ice hidden underneath her tone queued you in.
“That now your family will never get the justice they deserve.” Her words are like knives, stabbing straight into your heart. You weren’t sure if she was trying to break you, or if she truly felt this way. That your mistake cost the entire mission, one that was supposed to avenge your dead relatives. Your eyes went wide with shock, expression frozen as you processed the very words that left her lips. They weren’t coming from your girlfriend; the girl you loved would never say such a thing.
Natasha doesn’t flinch, yet unbeknownst to you she was heartbroken on the inside. You both felt like a stranger was standing opposite, your actions and her words causing a rift between the connection that was strong mere days ago. You were impatient, emotional, and couldn’t follow the stupid protocol, and now it may have cost your job and maybe even your girlfriend.
Your eyes narrowed, oozing with betrayal. “You don’t mean that.” Words softer than the hardened expression painting your face, you were almost speechless. Once again, Natasha left you questioning if what she said was actually true, or just a figment of your imagination.
She nodded once, slowly, like a predator bowing its head to prey. You were officially benched, and there was no arguing your way out of it.
—————-
2 weeks, 4 days, 1 hour, and 37 minutes had passed since you were forced to stay within the many walls of the compound. Not like anyone was counting, though. Although spacious and full of various forms of entertainment, the large facility made you feel restless after the first day. You grew bored, itching to get your hands on new cases or even old mission reports.
The quinjet was taunting you. Standing outside the large glass window, calling your name as you sat inside waiting for the go-ahead. But as the hours, days, and weeks passed, it never came. You hadn’t spoken to Natasha since the fight—only exchanging quick glances through narrowed eyes or inconspicuous expressions in passing. Instead, you bothered everyone else about it.
“No, you’re still on temp-leave,” someone would say. “Take some time to relax, focus on yourself.” More voices would eventually join in. It was unrelenting; the only ‘self-care’ you cared about was the one thing that genuinely made you happy: Avenging. But everyone was stuck following orders, keeping you locked inside the compound with your own self to blame.
When everyone left you alone at the compound to go on missions, It gave you time to reflect. You paced the halls replaying the mission over and over, eventually shaking your head as the memory morphed into the shape of your family. You didn’t want to think about them, so you simply filled your time with busywork in order to keep the hurt at bay.
After picking up a few new hobbies, discovering some newfound talents, and recovering old favorite pastimes, you still felt a hole where Avenging used to be. You missed it, and this time off was making you feel worse, if anything. On the 20th day, you built up the courage to talk with Natasha. She was tame the past few days, finally offering you the occasional smile when you made the team dinner, or handing you baked goods when she went on her usual coffee run.
Natasha was sitting in the empty living room, typing on her laptop as she glanced between the screen and some mission reports. “Hey,” you spoke softly, sitting down on the couch opposite of her. Her green eyes popped up, eyebrows lifting ever-so-slightly. You had her attention. “I just wanted to say that I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have belittled my actions that hurt other people, it was truly more than just a mistake and I feel terrible about it.” You were speaking truthfully, and Nat could tell; but she wasn’t satisfied.
Shutting her laptop, she stacked her work off to the side with full intrigue. “Tell me, have you thought about your parents during this time off?” She questioned. You swallowed thickly, immediately regretting your half-assed apology when there was more to it than just feeling bad about your actions. You hadn’t thought about your parents, mostly on purpose; and Natasha was hoping to get after exactly that.
“Look, love,” Her tone softened slightly, and the use of the nickname made you feel even the smallest bit more comfortable. She was still yours, and you were still hers, it was all just on hiatus for the moment—like your job. “This break wasn’t supposed to be time for you to feel bad about what you did. It was time for you to process what happened.” Natasha stood, moving to sit next to you as her words made the air catch in your lungs.
“You can’t change the fact your family has passed, and I need you to have a chance to grieve before we send you back onto the field.” To an average person, everything she was saying made sense. But the issue was, you didn’t want to pause and take the time to process what happened. You wanted to swallow it all and move on to whatever job would come next. But Natasha knew the dangers of that.
You took a deep breath, your gaze finding the floor. “I told you, Nat. I’m fine to go out onto the field. I’ve thought over everything and I feel ready.” You countered, eyes meeting hers as you really tried to convince her. She found your hand, gripping it tightly with both of hers.
“Then tell me exactly what he did to your parents.” Her words hit your chest like a boulder, all of the air you once had no longer existing as your breathing stopped. It was a test, and she knew you wouldn’t be able to answer without breaking down. And fortunately for her, it worked. Tears welled in your eyes, the flood of emotion hitting the wall you built in an attempt to avoid it. But it wasn’t strong enough this time, Natasha knew all the right buttons to push. You gave in, allowing each tear, each sob, to have a chance to see the light as you leaned into Natasha.
“That’s it.” She cooed, pulling you close into her shoulder. Her hands ran through your hair, offering a comforting touch you desperately missed. The person she loved dearly was slowly coming back, the agent who wasn’t just a stone-cold face ready to suppress all emotion in the name of work. Being an Avenger wasn’t just about being brave for others, it was about being your best self so you were capable of offering that support on the field. The entire time, you missed the true meaning of the hiatus.
But now, you were back on track. Natasha was glad to see you finally start the long road to processing your grief, and she’d be there the entire journey. You were grateful to have her, and suddenly even more grateful she gave you the time off in the first place. If you weren’t so naive and stubborn, maybe it would have been easier for you in the long run. But that didn’t matter, because with Natasha, time felt like it didn’t exist.
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ladyoftheblades · 1 day ago
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calm after the storm
jaycetalis x reader
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summary: the arcane horrors are enough to send a mortal man into the depths of depravity, jayce, having just ascaped the hexcore know this a little too well. he knows there is only one thing that may keep his sanity from snapping: the girl he knows is waiting for him back home.
a/n: this is not cannon compliant, imagine mel is a lesbian in this universe, i just finished this at 1.30 am i have 8 am classes tomorrow but i cant break a promise, enjoy !!!
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the vast emptiness of light wad oddly a welcome sight. white with specles of pastel color stretched toward all four directions further than his tired eyes could see.
jace took a moment of reprieve, setting his hammer down but not letting go of the handle, far too scared, far too aware of the horrors that could be awaiting him the next second.
he had no trust in the calm but he accepted it anyway, he had no choise but, if he stayed on his feet another second he may collapse, and janna knows what would aait him in his unconscious state...
one by one, cautiously, tentattively, his feet fell to the ground, of the ceiling, or... he could hardly tell. in any case, the weariness became a little easier to bear with his body sitting.
jayce took a deep breath. the sound reverbrated through the abyss of the arcane, travelling, mixing with its surroundings untill it ceased to exist, only to be followed by another deep breath and the course continued this queer melody, monotone, a strange calm.
jayce had been trapped in the hexcore... he knew not how long. the only thing he knew was the strain in his muscles, the ache in his bones, the bags under his eyes from lack of sleep and the pain in bones from the hits he took.
through this odyssey of violence and strangeness, his sole anchor was his hammer. symbol of his family and a familiar tool, one that had accompanied him since first he could walk. though that too had been corrupted, its form changed, resembling somewhat the vastness surounding him.
but that was not entirely true... he had one more weapon in his arsenal, ensuring he does not lose himself in the horrors, one entirely uncorrupted, one nothing could take away from him: her.
his biggest treasure, his shinning light, his beacon of hope, his prayar when times get hard.
he sat and pondered, that is all he did when he was alone, replaying the memories again and again, afraid the darkness may erase them from his mind.
they had met years ago, in the academy. she had been hired to fill the void left by victor as professor heimerdingers assistand. he will never forget the first time he locked eyes with her.
the professor had made no attempt to formally introduce them, too preocupied with whatever else in his mind. therefore, when he walked into his lab one morning, only to be met with her back snooping around and taking notes, he was surprised to say the least. at first his instinct was to yell at her but once she turned around to look at him all anger dissipated from his body.
her eyes seemed like stars twinkling in the morning light as they looked at him, her features painting a perfect picture, face surprised ever so slightly. she explained herself but even after she did he remained dumbfounded, stumbling over his words, bringing a smile to her face, and a small chuckle escaping her lips. she took a step forward, leaning into him when she said the words etched into his heart. "i will be seeing you soon, mr progress" and with that she left, leaving him frozen on the spot to be found by viktor.
her words were true. since them they saw more and more of eachother, at first in the lab, then in the lad and after, untill eventually they were essentially inseperable. as his carrer proceeded and he fell deeper and deeper into the intricacies, the guile and the treachery of politics, she was always there, waiting for him in his house, in his lab, backstage from his stage to remind him of his goal, of his self. his pillar his beacon, his hope.
now she was... gone. or rather he was gone, ripped away from her arms and thrust into this labirinth of magic and malice, not knowing when or if he would ever escape.
his mind was running back to that first meeting, a moment of peace at last, when again his surroundings changed.
jace shot up, assuming a battle stance he had become all too familiar with, ready to take on whatever the arcane threw at him, with the hope to return to her, when the landscape changed again, and again, as if glitching, once twice thrice untill he was thrust in the white void once again, only this time, he had company...
councilor salo, his former coleague, standing right in front of him. he thought it was magic playing tricks on him. the councilor was... changed. he was walking, despite the damage taken by jinxs boms and his face had weird marks, reminiscent of the hexcores essance, he was not there to bring good news. "salo ? what are you doing here, how are you walking ?"
salo replied, but his voice was changed aswell, warped unto something unhuman. salo relayed his message from victor, the entire conversation almost too surreal for him to comprehend but the things he had seen had turned hi sstomach into steel, and despite salos words he knew what he had to do...
the councilor or victor or whatever this thing wearing the facade of his former friend concluded its little speech, but jayce knew his destiny "i cant let you leave" spoke jayce.
with a smug but calm confidence, salo turned to leave "im sorry you feel that way" he said as he made his exit.
but jayce had a duty, a goal, a purpose, more importanly he had a promise had had to fulfill, one he was too blind to see before but all to aware of now, "im sorry too" and with a simple swing of his hammer, salo was gone.
jayces vision went hazy, all the exhaustion catching up to him, mixing with the weight of salos words, making his feel queezy, fell all the things he had not allowed himself to all this while.
he knew what he had to dy, call it duty or fate of want, he had to rid the world of the hexcore, using any means necessary.
the tragedy of salos death, rather his muder brought atleast one blessing, he was back at the hexgates. he dragged with the last remainants of strength left in his body his feet forward, his mind replaying all of the things he had seem, nightmares come to life, threatening to consume his mind, to drag him the their abyss now and forever, all the way through the exit, to the elevator to the outside of the hexgates they fought to erase his sanity, but as he stepped outside the gates, feeling the fresh air hit his face, fill his lungs and the morning light hitting his eyes, from the dephts of his soul a light occure: a vision of her, his saviour his saint, his guiding star.
he could see from up here the entire city and for a secont the romantic view, the vision of her, they softened his worries, cleared his head, and a new need emerged, the need to get to her, finally.
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the night was young, sun still dousing the sky in twilight, few stars were visible from her window and below the upset city of piltover. tonight was a quiet night, military had pulled from the streets, atleast a little, and there were no conflicts at hand.
her window had a view of almost the whole city, something she used to find much pelasure in but now was indifferent to. the window might as well have been facing a brick wall. it was all irrelevant, the voilence, the conflict, the war... nothing mattered.
she sat on her bed and stared out the window with a lazy gaze. it was a wonder she even had sat up, usually only having enery to turn side to side.
weeks had passed since she had last seen jayce. they had been in this very room when he said "i need to head to the lab, i will propably be late but not too late, wait for me ?"
liar. fucking liar. "not too late" my ass. he was gone for weeks, disappeared off the face of the earth.
his absence had been felt by her immeietly. she had tried to saty up that fateful night, but sleep tugged on her eyelids thus she had gone to bed, excpecting to find him in her bed by the time she woke up. when morning came and he was not sharing her bed, she still did not worry. but morning was followed by noon was followed by night, and jayce had yet to come back to her.
since then, she had fully gone through the stages of grief. the first ?denial.
on the first night she had gone to his lab but jayce was nowhere to be found, she had then gone to his house only to be met with absence once again. she figured he was held up somewhere with work, so, she went to work a usual, taught her classes, returned home, made them both dinner, ironed the clothes he left behind and washed his pyjamas to wear when he came back. still, there was no knock on her door. no sight of jayce
anger. his multy day absence led her to a clear conslusion; he was cheating. she paced around her house, blasting loud music from her record player, cursing his very existance. she gathered his clothes, his clean clothes she had washed herself by hand, fully intending to burn them, but as she saw the pile infront of her, a painting of their life together, she could not bring herself to. besides, she knew her jace, he would never do such a thing, would never hurt her in such a way, which led her to the next stage:
bargaining. something bad had to happen to jayce to keep him away this long, he was obviously in danger and no one was doing anything about it. she attempted to speak with enforcers but they dismised her as if she were a child. she went to everyone she could think of for help, to no avail, everyone either had their own problems or simply did not take her seriously. the acolade of her desperation came when she knocked on the kirammans door, or at least attempled to. the noxian guard posted outside threw her out before she could even approach the door. did truly everyone so easily accept martial law and forget about one of their very own counsilors ?
finally, she reahced the final stage: depression. her jayce was gone, either from her life or from piltover but it mattered little. he was gone and the void he left behind in her heart was to never be filled again. she stopped going to work, not that she had much work, classes having almost completely ceased in the academy in sight of the conflicts, she stopped going out, stopped cleaning, she would have stopped cooking if it was not her sole source of sustinence. all she did was sit around the house, waiting or crying, listening to her vinyls and crying some more untill even that became too much and she was reduced to only her bed.
her friends had noticed, knocking on the door a few days ago. they noted her catatonic state but could do nothing to help her, only offering words of reassurance "you will get though this Y/N. you are strong with or without him, and you will get better".
their words were nice but to her, void. jace had been the axis around which her life rotated for 5 years now, he was her past present and future but now he was gone. ripped from her so violently and without explaination. was he dead ? had he been entangled in a fight which proved fatal ? or had he abandoned her ? the questions swirled her head constanly, creating a buzz, a fog, in her head as well as behind her eyes, rendering her hopeless.
she could not even pinpoint the exact time jayce had been gone, hours had melted into days had melted into weeks, into a jumbled mess as unclear in her head as her questions. it did not matter how long he was gone anyway, he had left her.
as she sat up in her bed, observing the window she cursed herself for having washed their sheets and jayces clothes, his scent she so loved and oh so longed for was erased, tabula raza. everything sucks. nothing is the way it was supposed to. nothing would ever be the way it was meant to again, not without her guiding star, she found his title as "man of tomorrow" quite apt, for she could thing of no tomorrow without him.
and as she sat there wallowing, surrounded by sadness and self loathing, the doorbell rang.
if it had been another time she would have jumped to open it, holding onto the hope,a small ember if it,that maybe it would be her jayce. now all of it had been snuffed out. jayce was never coming back. she took her time, only moving her head slightly, pondering the identity of the intruder. could it be the neighbours ? a student ? noxian soldiers ? she landed on it being her friends, with cleaning supplies propably, ready for round two of 'cheer up the professor".
the bell sounded again. anoying her friends were, but she blamed them not, their insistance was born of concern. thus, she took her feet of the bed, taking a second to find balance before she dragged herself to the door. the bell rang one final time before her hand reached the doorknob, leading her to grow slightly irritated, the little bit her depressed state allowed atleast.
so sure she was of the visitors identity, she did not look through the peephole, oppening the door immedietly to find...
jayce.
jayce, her jayce.
her jayce who had been missing for janna knows how long.
the professors jaw dropped, and she thought of rubbing her eyes to ensure it was not a cruel dream, but was given no chance, jayce stepping into her appartment and falling into her arms immedietly.
her mind could hardly comprehend what was going on, taking a second to react to his sudden affection, to his sudden presance. his familiar frame in her arms finally registered, leading her to instinctively react, placing her arms around him, holding him close, oh so close, sqeezing his frame, as if at any second he would be stolen away from her again.
they stood there, door ajar, frozen in time, holding eachother, not wanting to let go in fear of returning to the nightmare of their time apart. they stood embracing, drinking in eachothother, hearts beating in tandem, finally full now that they reunited. at peace, at last.
the fog of questions in her mind cleared out, they mattered no more, he was back, he came back to her, to hell with what he had been doing in the meantime.
jayce felt his exhaustion melt from his body, muscles relaxing finally. he moved his head to burry his nose in her hair, taking a deep breath, his lungs filling with her scent calming his nerves. the horrors of the arcane mattered little now. the trials he had passed, the tribulations he endured, the eldritch terrors he faced all with the image of her in his mind, with the memories he replayed in his head like film, holding close to his heart to get through that nightmare had paid off.
he would never be the same again, scarred far too deep, the rune etched in his wrist evidence of that but his love had not faltered a second, and he knew she would still love him no matter what.
they stood there awhile, untill it wasnt enough. she was the first to move, pulling her head from jayces chest to look up at him, to meet his eyes she so loved. when he returned her gaze, she noticed the change in thm; the bit of darkness, the lack of liveliness, but still they were uniquely jayce. it was as if two pieces of a puzzle came together, two parts of one whole, two parts that did not make sense on their own but together created a most beautifull image.
a thousand thoughts ran through her head, so many things she wanted to say, wanted to express, so many emotions that she did not know where to start. but from the way he looked at her, deep brown eyes filled to the brim with adoration, eyes that had seen her whole and loved her whole, she knew he understood, words were unecessary.
"you look like shit" she landed on finally, earning from him a chuckle. her words rang true, he did look like shit. looked as if he had been dragged through hell. his clothes were ripped and tattered, modified with makeshift armour in aome places, and the parts intact were either dripping with sweat or dirty with blood and dirt. his face, his beautifull face was in no better state, painted even darker than his usual tan complexion, beard rowdy and uncempt, hair outgrown, with dired blood and aweat covering majority of it. dirty, rugh and dark.
still, as she looked up at him he looked like an angel, her angel, finally in her arms again.
his deep rich chuckle reverbrated in his chest, sending a jolt of joy through her own body. his voice, more hoarse than usual but just as pleasant and masculine as she remembered spoke "you look prefect"
a pang of guilt rang through her chest, there he went and filled her ears with sweet words when she had just insulted him.
he looked down to her, eyes dark, yet filled with the relief only a man who had all he ever wanted could hold, for that is exactly what she is to him: his dream, his religion and key to his happiness.
his head craned down to kiss her, foot simultaniously moving to shut the door behind him. their lips meeting was like an explosion of a thousand suns. they always had been very good at making love, two halves who knew eachother better than themselves, lips now slotting together like puzzle pieces. the kiss was soft but not chaste, deep with the emotions pouring between them, an equilibrium of love and lust, lips moving against eachother seeking the salvation only the other could bring.
that first kiss was everything, when jayce pulled back finally, he took a deep breath, as if he had been derived of oxygen and her kiss was his release. his hands moved on her back, shifting from her waist to her head, the other moving up and down, pulling her closer, even moreso, tracing lines which sent waves of warmth all through her.
he put their lips together again, just as passionate as the first but now there was something new. need. pure untainted need. he needed her to breathe, needed her to exist and the kiss comunicated just that.
the hand on her head burried itself in her hair, pulling just slightly, not to hurt but to hold onto something, to make sure she would not escape. as if she ever would, this, him, was all she ever wanted, all she ever needed.
wirhout breaking away she oppened her mouth, his tongue immedietly intruding, deepening the kiss further.
jayce was hungry, starved.
his hand behind her back moved again, wishing to rid them of the barrier named clothes, bringing itself beneath her shirt. his palm was cold causing the professor to flinch ever so slightly. jayce was not detered, pulling, tugging her shirt up hurriedly. eventually they had to break the kiss, much to both their dismay. swiftly he pulled the fabric off of her, tossing it to the side to land on the other piles of dirty clothes around the house.
he took a moment to admire her. she was as perfect as he remembered, soft and sweet. she waited patiently for him to finish drinking her in, chest rising up and down with deep anticipating breaths, the move causing him to grow even more infatuated.
he moved again to close the distance between them, rougher this time, so quick she had not the time to process, aware of his move only by the renewed presance of his lips on hers. jayces need had transfered onto her, feeling the heat in every inch of her body, stomach flipping in excitement. her hands flew to his chest, beggining to undo his vest but his armour got in the way.
her hands struggled to undo the clasps of it, soon growing frushtrated the longer she fiddled with the clasp to no avail. jayces hands moved slowly, tracing lines from shoulders to forearms to wrists, leaving goosebups in their wake. his hands cupped hers, rough and caloused, taking them fully in their grasp, begining to assist her in undoing the damned clasp.
one by one pieces dropped with thuds to the floor acompaniyng the sounds of their kissing in the otherwise silent appartment. once the last piece was off, her hands sprung once again to action, undoing his vest and shedding it from his shoulders.
her hands began to then roam his chest. she noted new scars had formed, rough under the pads of her fingers, foreign, maiming the man she had up to now known every trace of. the scars were not the only change though. his body had gotten more defined, muscles more pronounced. a welcome change, one which sent a storm of inapproptiate thoughts to her mind. having explored his body to satisfaction the professors hands moved again, lower and lower, slowly, teasingly, threatening to undo his belt but never daring get too close to doing so.
jayce was not having it. he needed her now, her teasing would not be tolerated. to accelerate the process of undressing his hands moved, loosening his belt and lowering his breeches with much haste, discarding them in the same unceremonious fashion he had her shirt.
he began to move forward with quick decisive steps still cautious not to ever break their kiss, tracing a path to her couch. she followed his lead with much reverance, utill she felt the couch behind her knees. jayce did not allow her to fall back just yet. his hands moved to remove her shorts, one movement bearing her of both pants and undergarments.
only then did her allow her to fall back, giving her a shove, harsher than intended, her smaller body landing on the pillows with a thud and a high-pitched yelp from her mouth, earning from him another chuckle.
he did not wait for her to accustom to the new position, moving immedietly to kiss her again, placing his knee between her legs, upper body caging her in, trapping her like a predator corners pray.
their kisses had grown hungry, need growing into an uncontrollable beast, morphing into desperation. jayce kissed her with an open mouth, all teeth and tongue, but it was welcomed, everything by him was welcomed, time appart had made her a husk of herself. now with jayce in her arms again her life was back in orbit and she wanted him in any way he would have her.
his hands moved, beggining from shoulders and lowering; caressing, toutching or groping whatever flesh he could find, promising to leave a few bruises here and there.
jayce had always been a strong man, something he was very aware of and made even moreso whenever they had sex. he was a strong guy and he knew it, leading him to be extra cautious with her, treating his girl like porcelain, like a doll to be revered and taken care of.
none of that was happening today.
whatever jayce had been through mustve shook him to his core. when he toutched her before it was with the reverance of a priest readiyng his altar, now his hands comunicated the hunger of a ravenous animal.
he needed to feel her close, needed to know she was with him. the arcane had put him through horrors beyond the mortal imaginations, forever in his lips her name, one ray of light in the endless abyss of his torture. he may very well have gone insane if it werent for her. even now, the images of all he had witnessed played in his mind, in some dark corner, threatening to take over and drag him in their madness. their attempt only made his need stronger, his hands rougher, his body more desperate, holding onto his light, pouring out onto her all the frustration, the fear and anger onto her skin. and she took it. she took all he would give, as he knew she would.
his hands had lowered to her hips, only to find them moving, ever so slightly, grinding on his knee in a desperate plea for friction, for something to aleviate the burning in her loins. his hands gripped them, halting all movement, causing her to whine in his mouth. "i know darling, i know" he said.
with hands on her hips were holding on for dear life, surely to leave large bruises come morning, jayces desperation reached its tipping point, unable to hold back anymore cock hard and dripping, begging for release.
any other day he would put himself aside to focus on her fully and only allow his own pleasure after she had had her fill. but now, whith his limbs burning in anticipation, he had not that option.
with a swift movement her flipped her around, manhandling his girl to bend over the couch. he placed the palm of one hand on her back, pressing her torso into the pillows, the other under her thighs keeping them in place, both creating a low arch in her back.
she had been his prayar when times got rough, her kiss his salvation and now her body his reward, his sin. oh and how sinfull she was indeed.
he could see through the dim light her cunt glistening in anticipation. his thumb moved, tracing a line betweed her folds, dragging down onto her clit and taking pause, pressing on her button. the caress, as slight as it was, sent a jolt of pleasure through her body, releasing in a moan, muffled somewhat by the couch. "jayce... please..." she said, tone a step before a whimper.
in response, jayce pulled his thumb from her folds, in favour of taking his cock in his palm. he lined himself with her entrance, and began to slowly enter her folds. he had only just entered his tip yet the professor already could feel her head fogging up in a lustfull haze, unable now to control the sounds escaping her mouth.
when he was about halfway in, anticipation took control, bottoming put in one quick thrust, his thighs hitting hers with force. the movement caused him to release a groan, low and masculine, synchronised with his girls own moan, a melody of pleasure filling the appartment that had for so long been empty of love.
and that first thrust proved the key that unlocked pandoras box for jayce did not waste any time, setting immedietly a brutal pace.
he was drunk on her, an addict that had been derived of his vice too long, only to now indulge again. the appartment filled with sounds of their coupling, lewd and crude but musical in their own way. her slight uncontrolled moans in direct contrast to his low groans, playing to the tempo of jayces pace.
his hipps slapped harshly against hers but his rough hands kept her somewhat grounded and in place. soon she felt his chest press against her back. skin hot and muscles firm, hard and controlling on her back, forcing her deeper into the couch. she could feel the rumble of his moans through his chest, another sense to add to the cocktail of sensations. she thought jayce could not possibly get more intoxicating when his head landed right next to her ear.
sharp contrast to the movement of his hips, jayces lips were soft, plastering kisses all over the side of her face. moving on toward her neck, nape and shoulderblades. each individual press of his lips a decleration of adoration, somewhat an apology for the rough way he was punding her into the pillows.
in this worship of her body, he found a particularly sweet spot, betwix neck and shoulder, one he knew from years of experience drove his girl crazy and began to roughly suck on the skin. the moan released from her throat was damn near pornographic, making heat rise to her cheeks in embarasment, burrying her head into the couch.
jayce made a cooing sound, mocking, he was fucking mocking her. jayce was causing her delirioum, thrusting into her with unparalleled frevor, lips working her neck like a violin, and now he mocked her for being affected by it.
he craned his head to place again his mouth on her ear. such a smug fuck he was today, but the moan he accidentally released with a hot breath matched her own in hue and desperation "i love you so, so much. i cannot bear to be away from you again, i hardly bore it this time. darling you have no idea what i have been through... but i would do it all over again, just to make it back to you, even if only to place one last kiss upon your brow."
jayces honeyed words sent tears into the professors eyes. hurriedly she twisted her head, lips desperately seeking his, needing to show him what he ment to her, for words would surely fail her at this time.
their lips met in a soft kiss, chaste, innocent, loving. oh so loving. and when they had savoured the moment to satisfacrion, jayce pulled back again. his back left hers, the loss of heat leaving her suseptible to the cold bite of the night air. already she could feel that tightness in her stomach, the sensory overload melting all thoughts away, leaving only pleasure and jayce.
his thrusts got rougher, something she had thought to be impossible. she could feel the tightness in her stomach building up from the movement of his hips, pairing with the swell of her heart from his words. her hands moved from her sides to her back, begging for him to hold onto her, jayce did not give in to his lights request, taking both her wrists in one palm and placing them firmly on her back. she whined loudly hoping it may sway his mind, but he was not so easily deterred, not today atleast.
his other palm grabbed again her hip, starved as he was, brutally pushing his way inside her. the professors entire body rutted, the front of her hips slamming against the couch- yet another bruise she would have to account for in the morning- her ass and back of her hips slammed on by jace, the entire movement an exchange of forcefullness, leaving her in the middle delirious from pleasure. the pressure in her stomach that had built up so long now was nearing an edge, nearing the orgasm she had so long been anticipating.
jayce threw his head back an array of groans and moans he could not hold back escaping his lips, he was close, so close. he kept his eyes away from her form for he knew one glance down at the soft body of the woman he so loved would shoot him straight across the edge.
he wanted to hold back, oh how he wished to, but the depravation had depleted his endurance somewhat, and with the knoledge just a day ago thought the day where he could have her in his arms again would never come, rendered him unable. "darling im...ugh, im close" he said inbetween moans. "i know, please jayce..." she replied in that sweet angelic voice of hers.
with one final thrust he bottomed out inside her, sealing as well her own release, both finnishing with final moans of pleasure.
everything was hazy, her mind swirling with pleasure, the sensations on her body leaving behind a soreness that would only get worse, and in her eyes with unshed tears she could not make out couch from wall. the places jayce had grabbed with particular frevor and her hips where the couch had slammed were more than sore, they hurt, but it was a pain she was glad to caary and one she would choose a thousand times over that of the heartache she had endured these past few weeks.
she felt jayce move behind her but was too tapped out to realise his exact movements, untill she felt hands wrapp around her body, lifting her up off of the couch and repositioning her to sit across the couch. a
jayce positioned himself to the other end of her head, taking in his lap her legs, regret no doubt sinking in as he began to lightly massage them. they both took a moment to breathe, surrounded by comfortable silence.
the professor took liberty of breaking the silence once again "that was the best sex weve ever had"
jayce laughed, no more shy chuchled, he laughed with his whole chest, and for a moment the carefree man she had come to love before the anomaly of the past few weeks returned, if even for a moment. he craned his head to look at her, a sweet sappy smile playing at his scared lips but in his eyes was something else, something she recognised as the brewing of an apology. the air settled in a more serious tone.
"im sorry for-" "its ok, jayce. i know." she replied, not allowing him to relay the little speech he had prepared for it was uneeeded. whatever had kept him away so long was clearly nothing pleasureable, if her trust in him was not enough his appearance proved it.
she had snuffed out the apology but jayce had a lot of things on his chest, clearly. he lowered his head into her lap, hands holding onto her waist for dear life but with clear caustion and tenderness as he began to speak "you do not know the half of it my love. i-... i was with professor heimerdinger and this kid ekko, they had a hextech related problem, they came to me. we went to the gates together to investigate, but the hexcore.... i may never be able to relay onto you the things that happened, the things i saw."
"i understand... i would never force you to do anything you do not wish to jayce" she replied as she began to lazily play with his hair. 'there is still a lot to be done, a lot i have to do. i may need to... i may need to leave again"
those words sent a pang to her chest, hand halting their movements. jayce noticed, taking her palm in his own and lazily playing with the professors fingers, a small comfort. "but i promise, i will be back, i will always come back here, i told you snd i will tell you a thousand times more. do you trust me ?"
he looked up to her as he said those last words, eyes begging for something he knew to be too much. he was asking for her to put her heart entirely in his hands, with close to no guarantee of ever getting it back. but as his brown eyes looked at her, so changed and yet the same, she knew he already had her everything, she would trust him always. "of course i do, i always will" she said.
to love is to trust, to love is to wait, to love is to fight, to love is to traverse the worst horrors of the world only with the prayar of your lovers name on your lips. and they loved eachother more than anything.
as if on que he placed a kiss into her palm, with the worries that plagued him so now lifted from his chest he felt a bit lighter, rising from her lap to stand. "but before anything, i need to bathe"
she laughed, the sound foreign even to her ears, "well i have clean clothes for you, and shampoo"
jayce looked around a bit, gathering his clothes -to throw away- making no comment on the horrid state of the appartment much to her relief, "do you have a razor too ?"
she thought for a moment "maybe keep the beard"
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lucygraysboy · 2 days ago
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billy listens with such intent that his lips part slightly and eyes become alight with interest, trying to picture the dolly that lucy gray’s describing. it’s plain to see just how much sentimental value the toy had. it makes him wish he could find a way to retrieve it, or maybe sew her something similar. as a thank you for taking him in tonight. “did she have a name? your dolly.” his adoptive father was a skilled carpenter and once built him a little wooden horse. oh, how he adored that horse. he named it moon dancer. “i’m sorry to hear that it got left behind. if you drew it for me, maybe i could find somethin’ similar,” he offers shyly, pale blue eyes flickering toward the colorful bear. a sweet smile blooming on his lips when he spots all the similarities between the girl and her teddy. “oh, look, she likes rainbows just like you do. you have a twin, too, lucy gray.” he jokes, but there’s no malice or mockery to his words, just good-natured humor, as he scrambles to his feet and walks across the room. “may i?” he touches the bear with such tenderness as if it were made of glass, calloused fingertips tracing the hearts sewn into the soft fabric, then moving onto the place where the other arm’s supposed to be. “she’s been through a lot, hm? reva blue, you’re one strong bear, you know that? and you’ve got a very beautiful dress,” he praises, his voice an octave higher as he speaks to the bear, gently patting her back before setting her down, tucking her in so that she’s warm. “reva blue and lucy gray. even your names match,” he points out, wondering if she has a sewing kit or a crochet hook and some fabric, a thread or yarn, in this little house. they could easily fix reva blue. give her a new arm. 
“that’s how most people from the capitol are. not to condone their behavior, but i think it all stems from fear.” extreme hatred is almost always based on fear. people may feel threatened by those they view as different or foreign, their traditions and culture. call them savages just to prove their own superiority. “it must be tough, not knowin’ what’s happened to your grandma, if she’s alive or not. maybe you’ll still meet again her one day.” he glances towards her, briefly wondering how it’s possible that such a small body can survive so much tragedy and still carry on. he feels for her, relates to her experiences to a certain extent, but he can’t grasp the enormity of her trauma. “guess so, but not everyone is like that. i don’t have no killer motives.” he’s thinking about ways to fix her teddy bear, and she’s accusing him of plotting murder. it’s unfair, but again, who knows what she’s been through? maybe she’s lost all trust in humanity. “yeah? why? i keep hearin’ it’s a real boring name, common.” and it looks like she doesn’t particularly like it either, which stings to a certain extent but he manages to keep these emotions at bay and offer, “you can call me kid. when my father,” his adoptive father, “first brought me home to thirteen, i refused to speak for a month or so, and so everyone just called me kid.” he explains, taking off his shoes and setting them by the fire to dry, having to occupy himself with something while she’s changing.
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once she’s seated again, billy’s eyes find hers and he offers her another smile, ignoring the scowl that she’s in turn offering him. if he keeps being kind, maybe she’ll eventually warm up to him. maybe she won’t hate him. “alright, let me see these scratches.” he washes his hands and wipes them on the cloth that he’d used to dry her feet before laying them on her skin, standing up to inspect the cuts on her shoulder first. “oh, wow.” a gasp escapes him when his eyes fall on the purple spots and scratches, pink lines running in different directions, surely causing her a lot of discomfort. some a little deeper than others, some a little swollen and tender. it doesn’t look bad, but it doesn’t look good either. “it might sting a bit,” he warns, wringing out the soaked cloth and carefully pressing it to her wounds, dabbing them clean, the fabric turning pink. he pauses, brushes her curls out of the way and continues his ministrations, rinsing the cloth and pressing it other skin again until there’s no more dirt sticking to it. 
“i did have a dolly, her hair was made out of yarn cause of course there wasn’t any means for a real doll even if we wanted one. it was one of the things that got left behind when our covey got pushed out of our last home by peacekeepers. all i have left of childhood toys is my mama’s bear she made for me, over yonder. sittin’ on the bed with a missin’ arm. reva blue the rainbow bear, or probably should be rainy bear now since she must not feel so fun anymore with no arm.” lucy gray frowns, “reva blue is her birth name, though. reva means rain and blue because rainbows start in bluer skies after the rain.” giving a little explanation, the bear is light brown with quilted rainbow ruffles sewed into her waist with a purple heart sewn onto her left foot, a yellow heart sewn into her right foot. her rainbow skirt is in better shape than hers, even if she’s took some wear and tear of her own with that missing arm. lucy gray thinks how she feels a lot like that bear, still trying to be colorful in these conditions because that’s the type of person she was born by heart as — staying relentlessly optimistic, but slowly officially losing her light. wearing her rainbow but becoming torn apart. “nice knowin’ how terribly biased an’ judgmental she is.” really— she’s shocked why coriolanus was even enamored by her for a few seconds. or how. since, she would figure he’s exactly like his grandma’am. thinks anyone other than capitol is the only worthy people in his mind. her mind is puzzled he could find anything attractive about her at all, since she feels like she should have been horribly ugly to him. how could he fake starry eyes and exchange kisses with her if he thought she was gross? but she should have been gross to him so her mind is burning trying to understand him even more. “of course. but one passed when i was younger and then the other i had that was livin’…i’m not sure anymore. we moved so often, but mamaw couldn’t just pick up and leave, so she stayed. i’m not sure if she somehow still might be there or she got rooted out too. or somethin’ else.” she could have died by now, that was a few years ago now. either way, the loss of so many family members weighs down heavily never knowing their fates. “well, that’s how people get you vulnerable. they pretend to fix things an’ be nice, but they can have killer motives behind it all.” lucy gray points out, placing the knife down on the bed while other hand is pulling loose the strings on her corset. “that’s interestin’.” thinking out loud, meaning his new name. william henry bonney. opening the door on the closet filled with pans and other miscellaneous things, she uses it as a cover. tugging the corset off, her long sleeve and then the ruffly multi colored skirt— throwing each of the pieces onto the bed. her hands dip down in her bag and pull out a soft lavender colored skirt and a white long sleeve with floral and butterflies on the front of the collar where it ties in the front and a tiny bow hangs down. wobbly legs step into the light purple skirt, feeling dangerously lightheaded before tugging on the shirt. closing the closet door back, she leaves her arms hanging out of the shirt, sleeves loosely hanging at her sides.
billy… brows creased at the familiarity. did he or dr gaul purposely choose the name billy to be even more twisted? she’s staring over at him like he fully offended her alone just by his name: billy. of course he offends her, because he must have remembered billy taupe. “there’s a scrape on my shoulder from tree limbs getting a hold of me takin’ it’s time healin’. and then there’s one like it on my leg, from scrapin’ it on a rock.” reluctantly sitting back down in front of him with that same scowl still on her face as she keeps dwelling on this name billy, there are scatters of bruises and cuts on her shoulders now that they’re bare not just the one she’s sugar coating on her left shoulder just because it’s a little more significantly different in size. the biggest though, is on on the inside of her upper leg where her knees meet. the second one that’s actually getting potential to set up for infection. moving her skirt until it’s bunched up in her lap, revealing the icky red scrape on her left leg starting above her knee and ending somewhere down the inner part of her upper leg.
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truths33k3r4 · 1 day ago
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(Warnings for this chapter are at the bottom of the page to keep from giving away spoilers.)
CHAPTER 8 - Deceptive Answers
Don cringed as he thoroughly sprayed down the empty trash bin, acting as if the fragrant, lavender scent would banish the acrid stench back to the pits of hades from whence it came. After the third round of air freshener, he slowly backed away from the bin with a cautious frown.
He proceeded to spray it down four more times.
Why did it have to be vomit…
As he walked to the kitchen sink he gently pulled off his latex gloves, neatly folding and placing them on the counter as he began to run the tap. After years of learning about germs and how to abolish them, he knew well that it didn’t matter if you washed them with hot or cold water. But even with this knowledge, it still brought him a slight ping of delusional comfort envisioning the hot temp burning the germs right off his hands.
That’s definitely normal.
He didn’t care all that much for the gooey sensation of the soap when it first puddles in his palms, but with a few quick scrubs, the sticky texture expanded into soft peaks of foam. The warm water mixed with the luscious suds did wonders for his dry hands. Thanks to the colder weather beginning to creep into the city, his home’s air had been stripped of its moisture. As a result, the skin of his hands and ankles cracked like the barren grounds of a scalding desert.
In other words ew.
With the last stage of washing his hands complete, drying them and folding the washcloth over the railing near the sink, Don began the trek back to his office. As he neared the doorway of the brothers’ bedroom, he paused.
Just move quickly. No big deal. Just ‘ninja’ your way around. Get to your office without attracting any unnecessary attention. Orrrr getting involved in any more emotional drama… Easy.
With a quick inhale, and his face tightened with concentration, he slowly took one silent step after the next, continuing his way down the hall past the bedroom. As he crept, little pieces of whispered conversation fluttered past his ears.
“...Lotus, what are you talking about?” 
Don instantly recognized the soothing tones of his oldest brother.
 “You are free. You made it out. We saved you. Shhhh, it’s alright.”
Don’s brows creased together as he paused to figure out what had happened to spark such concerned words from Leo. Going by what he said, the eldest wasn’t referring to Lotus being sick. The word “free” especially intrigued him. He continued to stand frozen as he leaned closer to the doorway, his curiosity now overriding the mission to get to his office.
“N-no… No, They…They’ll never go away…” A small voice cried in muffled whimpers.
Don’s mind began to process Lotus’ words one at a time; Every vowel and every fluctuation were filed into neat shelves in his brain.
Who’s “they”? Going by how we found her, she must be referring to the scientists at the lab, right? But what does that have to do with her being sick? Did those physician abominations give her something to make her ill? 
“Who, Lotus? Who won’t go away?” Leo gently whispered over Lotus’ smothered sniffles.
Don leaned closer. No verbal answer was given to Leo’s question, the silence only being filled by the frantic shuffles of sheets being pulled back and forth. 
“I.. I don’t… I don’t want to talk about it. I c-can’t.” Lotus pleaded as her voice continued to crack and splinter under the weight of whatever was haunting her mind. “I just c-can’t.”
Don’s posture physically slumped as he listened to the fear-stricken shivers of Lotus’ voice. The way her words jittered and broke in shards sounded all too familiar to him. She was so scared, but there wasn’t anything physically present that would make her react that way.
That left whatever was plaguing her to be something lurking deeper. Don couldn’t help the defensive snarl that escaped his teeth.
It has to be nightmares… That’s the most reasonable explanation for such behavior.
He knew that well, being reminded every night of the horrors he and his twin were forced through. Even though they were home. Even though they were safe. Even though it made no sense that the past has such power over the present.
And now he sees he’s not the only one.
How long was she there?...  How long did she live under the microscope of Specter’s prying eyes?
Don failed to suppress a shudder through his body as he was forcefully pushed into his own memories of the nightmare laboratory. His hands instinctively rose to cling to his shoulders, rubbing them down in an attempt at comfort. He clenched his teeth and closed his eyes, willing his mind to forget all those horrific memories that plagued him, but it was all for naught.
His twin’s screams echoed in a terrible chorus that consumed all his thoughts. 
A sickly, neon green glowed through the barrel of a syringe.
His chained wrists ached and burned from being yanked through long corridors.
His terrified face looked back at him through the reflective surface of dark-tinted lenses.
His body shook violently as an electrode was pressed into the left side of his head.
His vision erupted in white static when the nurse pressed the button.
NO! STOP IT- NOW!
IT’S OVER. STOP LETTING THIS GET TO YOU.
IT’S OVER.
Don gulped down the dread and anxiety clogging his throat, burying it deeper into the places of his heart he dared never to go. The chill of his memories forced another shudder to claw its way up his spine, leaving him gripping tightly to his arms and shaking his head. His legs shivered and buckled underneath him as if the weight of his memories added to his physical mass.
It’s over. That’s enough.
Don leaned and used the wall to stabilize himself, relying on the firm surface to steady his rampant thoughts as well as his shuddering body.
Just move. One foot in front of the other. 
With a withered sigh, he pushed off the wall and continued walking, blocking out the rest of the hushed conversations escaping the bedroom.
 I can’t deal with that right now. I just can’t.
Leo’s got it. He can handle it.
With his mind completely focused on simply reaching his office, he didn’t even attempt to sneak past the bedroom. It didn’t matter if they saw him, anyway. This was one of those pesky things that he just… couldn’t fix. 
So why try when it’s a waste of time? When there are others who are far more equipped for such a task?
Soon after, he finally reached his office, carefully closing the door behind him as he walked toward his desk. With a sigh, Don flopped onto his computer chair, causing a quiet squeak to fill the compact room. He leaned into the firm cushion of his chair as the whispered hum of the computer filled his ears. For a moment, just a small moment, Don took the second of mental silence to look around his room.
His gaze immediately rose to the high school certificate hung proudly on the wall closest to his desk. He remembered how excited he was to have such an accomplishment under his belt at the young age of sixteen, rubbing it in Raph’s face with a smug grin. His twin nearly shattered the frame before Leo and Splinter intervened. 
So much has changed.
As his eyes began to wander again, he suddenly caught sight of a small, blue sticky note left underneath the frame of his certificate. Don leaned and squinted his eyes as he read,“Please remember to drink! -Leo”. 
A cozy warmth filled Don looking at the note left there by his brother. It embraced his heart and settled his mind, leaving the faint feeling of a grin growing on his face. Don turned to his desk and took a good swig from the glass of water left there since that afternoon.
His eyes continued to wander, soon catching sight of his calendar and notes posted on the wall near his door. He again squinted his eyes, and even fixed and cleaned his glasses, but that all proved to be useless. He still couldn’t read very well, and it was beginning to drive him crazy.
With an annoyed growl, Don scooted and rolled his chair closer to the wall. He would have to figure out his sight problem some other time, no matter how many sparks of dread began to pop in his stomach at the thought of his vision once again failing him.
Shaking his head to repel any more worthless memories from entering, he once again gazed at the notes neatly stacked on the wall. Most of them were just phone numbers of the “co-workers” from his job. 
But then he finally saw his calendar. And the warmth that once thrived inside him vanished instantaneously. 
Leo’s words echoed back to him as he began looking over the wrong amount of days crossed out, reminding him just how much time he had lost.
“Eighteen days.”
For eighteen days he didn’t help his family.
For eighteen days he didn’t keep up with the repairs of his home.
For eighteen days he didn’t show up to work.
For eighteen days his family tirelessly searched for him.
For eighteen days you failed them. Weeks of worry, dread, and longing plagued your family all because of your absence. Did they even have fresh food this whole time? Did they have to resort to drastic measures? Did they have heat? Did any of them sleep? 
Don crushed his head under the clutches of his tightening fingers. 
How much pain did he inflict on his family all because of his carelessness?
Don hunched over in his chair, pulling his legs up to his plastron and pressed his head onto his knee caps. He squeezed tighter and tighter until it hurt.
How could I let this happen?
Why did You put me in this family if You knew I would FAIL THEM?
He pressed his head further into his knees. His arms clung tighter around his legs. His lungs begged for oxygen that he couldn’t supply. 
“Why?...” He whispered brokenly.
Just at the moment he felt his head would burst from the pent up energy and pressure, a soft *ding* sounded from his monitor. He couldn’t recall what he had been processing on his desktop, so he slowly lifted his head from his knees, gazing over to his computer as he dropped his feet back to the floor.
Then it clicked in his brain, and he shot his legs out to propel himself off the wall to his desk. After slamming his hands against the ridge to keep from crashing into the small table, he took a millisecond to gather his completely shattered mental state so he could focus on the task at hand. 
This was something he could fix.
His fingers comfortably found their rhythm clacking on the keyboard as he finally opened the files coded into Lotus’ implant. He was surprised to see so many, at least a hundred or so lined up in neat rows. Each one was labeled similarly, with the title “SUBJECT 19- PROCEDURE #”. 
As curious as he was to begin looking deeper into those files, one in particular caught his eye, labeled two simple words:
“SUBJECT INFO”
That should be promising.~
With his mind made up, Don swerved his mouse and clicked. The file opened to reveal many different types of documents: Blood types, heartbeat readings, and many more medical related data.
If Don weren’t so disgusted by what these felons had done, he would actually be quite impressed with how well organized all the information was. 
He pushed that feeling aside as he continued scrolling.
“MEDICAL HISTORY”...
“DIAGNOSES”...
“TREATMENT PLANS”...
Holy French Toast there’s SO MUCH… I’m gonna need weeks just to go through this all!
“MEDICATIONS”...
“TEST RESULTS”...
“PROGRESS NOTES”...
Down, down, he continued searching through them, just trying to find the end of the treasure trove of knowledge about his family’s new guest.
“IMAGING AND DIAGNOSTIC REPORTS”...
“IMMUNIZATION RECORDS”...
And then his cursor finally stopped. And at the very bottom of the list lied what he was searching for:
“VITAL RECORDS”
There you are.
Don clicked the file as he hunched closer to his monitor, the feelings of anticipation and dread filling him as he wondered what he was going to find. Lotus would finally get some semblance of answers about her past now. And from what he’d seen of the wounded girl, he knew she needed some good news.
The first document to pop up on his screen was a newspaper clipping.
What? 
The article showcased some kind of vehicle, flipped over and ablaze on the side of a dirt-paved road. All the dates on the paper were crossed out, as well as the last names of anyone involved. The cover read in bold letters,
“FAMILY OF FIVE KILLED IN UNFORTUNATE CRASH”
Don’s head cocked in utter confusion as he began reading through the article. He began clicking his tongue as all his concentration zeroed in on every word of the story before him. 
Somehow this connected to Lotus. And he was going to find out how.
The article stated that during a particularly rainy, spring night, a family of five, (husband, wife, and three children), slid off the road and flipped their car over. When help finally arrived, as well as the Press, the car was being swallowed by unrelenting flames. Only two bodies were retrieved, that of the husband and wife. Their names were Frederick and Jess, but their last name was crossed out. 
All that was left of their two toddlers and baby were scorched car seats. 
Don backed away from his monitor in horror, covering his eyes with his hand and sliding it down to his chin. The images of the husband and wife’s bodies hidden under sheets made his stomach tighten with sorrow. He squirmed in his seat, both guilty and grateful that he had never seen or heard anything about this tragedy.
All it took… was one thing to go wrong.
… And then… everything was gone. Everything. That poor family…
The rest of the article continued on to review the woe of their family’s relatives, as well as the following funeral that would occur at a later date. (A later date that was meticulously scratched out to be indecipherable.) 
Why is this in her records?...
After finishing reading through the article, he moved on to the next document in the file:
A birth certificate.
Don muttered an annoyed growl as he noticed that this document had been thoroughly crossed out too, with the only things left reading:
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Alexis?... Is that Lotus’ birth name?... But… this is an official document by the State of New York- 
A human certificate.
Don’s brain whirled all this new information around his mind like an indecisive tornado. Nothing was making sense. No puzzle pieces were lining up. How could he be given so much information and none of it is useful?!? Here he thought those psychos with medical degrees were organized and thorough in their research- Here he thought he was finally given a buffet of answers ready to be feasted upon at a moment’s notice. How wrong he was to think this would be easy.
If he’s learned anything in his sixteen years of being a teenage mutant ninja turtle, it was the fact that easy never seemed to be an option.
His shoulders fell as he let out a sigh filled with disappointment. None of this would make Lotus feel better… If anything, it could make things worse. 
If these documents are true… 
Don pushed away from his desk, dropping his head onto the rim of his chair as the weight of the answers given to him pressed further into his mind. His chest ached and his head spun with the implications of the documents.
Was Lotus born as an actual human? 
Did she truly once have a family? 
And how did the newspaper article connect to this?
Was she in that crash? Did she escape the fire? 
Instead of clicking into place and revealing the steadfast truth, all that these answers had done was scatter the pieces of this mystery further apart, deepening the chasm that remained of Lotus’ past.
That's it for this chapter!! And now all of you get to really see the base mystery of my story. :) Hopefully these small pieces of the past will help you theorize what you think happened to Lotus and who you think she is. :) I was ECSTATIC to show you all this chapter. I'm honestly quite proud of how it came out, and I am so excited to delve deeper into the mystery of Lotus' past.
Feel free to reblog and share this!
BIG THANK YOU to @poetique823 for helping me and encouraging me through this chapter! Also apologies for uh... breaking you. XD
@writer-in-wonder, @allyheart707, @oddartistl3, @risebabyx2, @joyjoygorl, @carrots-bear, @howtotrainyourdragonprince, @jasminegazer, @indieyuugure
If you want to be tagged in the next chapter, please comment down below! :)
To God be the glory!
~ Melissa
(CW- Implied past deaths, trauma, mention of medical trauma!)
MASTERPOST <- PRIOR CHAPTER NEXT CHAPTER ->
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hairiths · 1 day ago
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𝘼 𝘿𝘼𝙐𝙂𝙃𝙏𝙀𝙍’𝙎 𝙋𝙍𝘼𝙔𝙀𝙍
. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ 𝙎𝙏𝙍𝘼𝙉𝙂𝙀 𝘿𝙍𝙀𝘼𝙈𝙎 𝜗𝜚 (part four)
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Cecilia has been experiencing unusual dreams recently, following that night with Father Charlie. These dreams appear to be interconnected. Initially, they did not frighten her; however, everything changed when her dead sister, Gwen, made an appearance.
I had a very strange dream tonight…like the other nights.
I was walking through this weird hallway, all dark and narrow, I felt strangled.
Then i saw then I heard this strange voice, yet similar, it was calling me — i swear.
I followed this voice, almost angelic. I opeed opened the door. Red door. Then i saw her. It was weird at first because instead of a head it had a goats head, then the room darkened, the windows open wide and that ray of light troubled my eyes almost blinding me, she was there in front of the window viewing i don’t know what before slowly turning her head over me.
I froze, it was her. Gwen. My dead sister.
She had this melancholic stare, she never looked at me like that ever in my life.
I almost cried, i wanted to talk to her before i woke up.
What do i do father? I’m afraid.
Cecilia Jones.
Father Charlie held the letter Cecilia had sent him, crumpling it before discarding it. He then called Cecilia on his phone.
"Hey," he whispered, "I just saw the letter. You know you could have just sent me a message or made a quick call, right?" He smiled through the screen.
Cecilia replied, "My parents sometimes check my phone..." She smiled at the thought. "So no, I couldn't."
He chuckled softly, "Fair enough." His voice was deep, sending butterflies fluttering in her stomach. "Come over to my place tonight; we'll talk about your dream."
The time had come for Cecilia to prepare for her meeting with Father Charlie. She left her house, using the same excuse as always—claiming she was heading to Bible lessons. Upon her arrival, she found Father Charlie waiting for her, unchanged from that night; he was the same as ever, and she felt her usual shyness wash over her.
As they walked through the hallways, she began to share her dream. They eventually stopped in the church’s garden, taking a seat on a bench that overlooked the beautiful landscape filled with white roses and lush greenery, complete with a grand fountain at its center. Cecilia paused for a moment, her eyes wide in admiration. “Wow, Father, do you take care of all this on your own?” she asked, turning her gaze to him.
He shook his head, looking down. “I’d probably freak out, sister,” he admitted before looking back up at her. “Every Monday, people come over to clean.” He handed her a white rose.
Cecilia nodded, a little embarrassed. “Of course, sorry for the silly question… Anyway,” she continued, her tone shifting as she delved deeper into her dream. “She looked at me and smiled. I wanted to hug her one more time.” Her voice trembled, and she glanced down, tears beginning to fall as she fiddled with her fingers tearing the roses petals apart. “She tried to talk to me before I woke up.”
Father Charlie noticed her sorrow and pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly and comfortingly. She looked up at him, whispering, “I’m afraid.” He gazed down at her, gently wiping her tears away with his hand before leaning in closer. “As long as I’m here, you shall never be afraid, Cecilia,” he reassured her. Their lips met in a kiss, intertwining as if they were meant for one another. He could taste the bitterness and pain in her heart, but he was there for her—he would always be there for her.
Their love was undeniably wrong, but that only made it more special—a secret worth keeping.
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EXPLORE THE PREVIOUS CHAPTERS HERE🤍
© hairiths 2024 — I own only this story and some characters I have created, including Sister Cecilia Jones, Gwen Jones (Cecilia's sister), Lenny Jones (Cecilia's mother), and William Jones (Cecilia's father), among others. I give credit for the remaining content to the series "Grotesquerie" by Ryan Murphy. This is the only platform where I have published the story. Please do not copy or translate it without permission or proper attribution.
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explorerspack · 1 month ago
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hi everyone it's me again. i just think it's sooooooooo cool how zahra ran away to a wholeass different country to avoid her predestined fate of being a religious figure/political tool in a rising empire only to find herself a tool for like three different factions, allied with a radical religious government, and rapidly amassing power. me when i can't escape the fucking stars.
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youn8ss-2 · 2 days ago
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‘them who finally accessed her full powers after breaking from a big loss that represented for her what she wanted to become as an adult’
reading is fundamental lol
Also willow only became ‘supposedly suicidal’ i would call it more destructive not even self destructive cus she wanted everyone gone with her, after feeling the pain of the world after stealing giles’ powers that the coven back home granted him. I still stand by what i said cus in moments of deep pain and emotional turmoil, you fall back to behaviors that are natural for you and how you built yourself and she built herself as a resentful wallflower with passive aggressive behaviors who copes by holding resentment in, instead of being forthcoming and not going from 0-100 against her friends (3x02/7x05/3x16/5x11) thats why she is so uncomfortable with anya cus is blunt and for willow it’s unnatural.
Thats also one of the reasons she was scared of losing tara both in separation and death cus she was scared to go back to the powerless shy girl that resented that her friend had powers.
Cordelia and willow also mirror each other on that but where willow envied buffy’s powers, cordelia envied her calling and the fact that she has a deeper purpose in life (when b and c find themselves in the cabin before going to the ball cordelia asks her why cares about winning the crown bc she already has something going for her ie her role as a slayer). Willow thought that the power would get her to become who she fantasizes herself to be confident, revered and powerful (3x01 w emulating b when she is patrolling//willow seeing her current self as a veneer of what she sees herself as her true form the girl we met in the pilot in 4x22) whereas cordelia was always comfortable with herself and how she came accross and only wanted her life to mean more than vapid gossip and clothes (in angel 3x11 skip even notices that in dreams people to fantasize as a little different, better looking or else and is surprised that even in her dreams she sees herself as her regular self, its also the episode where she is offered everything she has ever wanted and still walks away from it to embrace her calling and sacrifices herself in the process)
Willow in so many traits is much closer to xander in character than buffy, cordelia or tara who are both much closer in personalities than others in the group.
Btvs fans tend to love to paint some btvs as super heroes with no fault or if they have then they have an which creates the image of flat boring characters and writing, whats great about btvs is how petty and flawed and human the characters are (aside from the incessant quipiness) and yet they still show heroism in situations of danger, also jw made sure to paint buffy as the most heroic cus she has the calling of a slayer and is the hero and painted her after a tragic superhero spiderman who sacrifices himself despite all of his loss
See it like this, Buffy, Tara and Cordelia would sacrifice themselves to save the world but willow would never do that even after her whole arc is done she is still not the hero she thinks she is, thats why despite being touted as the most powerful she always keeps herself in the place of 2nd/3rd/4th in command cus it takes away the responsibility of fucking up and risking your own life.
Where tara faced a hell god and still stood strong and never gave her what she wanted, willow went out of her way despite buffy’s plea to not retaliate and went behind her back kickstarting glory into attacking buffy and everyone else directly therefore revealing who the key was and rendering tara’s sacrifice useless. willow is ultimately ego driven and those don’t make for actual heroes.
Willow was so displeased with herself as a teen and ya that she was willing to do anything to garner more powers when buffy was faced with gaining more powers she rejected it cus she knew more powers would drive her away from herself and her loved ones. She understood and saw what it did to sineya and how it compromised her human nature and she knew who sourced and what was the source of this power. Willow wouldve most likely accepted it and when she discovered how power corrupted her she realized how giles was right.
Even her role in the last episode is pretty passive, yes she activates other but at no point do you see her fight with the others.
i know that cordelia is meant to be a foil and a mirror image to buffy and what her life could’ve been without her calling (and cordelia showing envy at certain moments that buffy even have a calling and therefore a meaning for her life) but
I wish they explored the mirror image thing with other characters cus they all have history that predates buffy stepping foot in sunnydale.
One of my favorite is cordelia in angel 1x22 and willow in btvs 6x22, both find themselves in a situation where they have to feel the pain of the entire world and thats when you see the contrast in their reaction. The power hungry wallflower thinks its better to destroy the world and put an end to all’s suffering and the coming of age arrogant vapid mean girl makes her mission to help the people to lessen that pain. It might seem cavalier and just a way to make the plot move forward as the writer wanted but its also a great representation of their character. It feels almost natural atp that the science nerd who has had to rationalize her feelings to cope with them who finally accessed her full powers after breaking from a big loss that represented for her what she wanted to become as an adult would decide that finishing it all would be better and a more direct solution than the altruistic and unattainable idea to help everyone around the world that the overtly confident adult who just found her purpose takes on the matter.
Its both a representation of their selfish needs/wants but also a clear reflection of the personality they were during their formative years and how it still defines them after they have changed as characters.
I like that people who have known each other most of their life off screen but don’t have that much history still get to mirror each other in surprising ways from when we met them, it feels fated and right.
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crybaby-bkg · 2 years ago
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our love is god from heathers is Yandere deku’s theme song and I just. I have so many Thoughts about it
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hoshigray · 7 months ago
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𝐅𝐮𝐜𝐤 𝐌𝐞 𝐎𝐯𝐞𝐫, 𝐒𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫! | t. fushiguro + k. nanami
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𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: Taking your daughter to a sleepover with her best buds is easy peasy; ending up staying over at said sleepover to have some fun of your own with the two single dads you're crushing on? Not so much...
𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬: dilfs! Toji + Nanami x fem! reader - explicit content; minors DNI - modern setting; single parents au - implied you + Nanami are in early 30s; Toji is in late 30s - Tsumiki (age 10), Megumi, Yuuji and Nobara (8) - mutual pining/crushing - fluff then SMUT then fluff - kissing/making out - mutual masturbation (m! + f! receiving) - breast fondling + nipple play + sucking - Daddy kink - threesome - double penetration; anal and vaginal - spoon/sidesaddle dp + reverse cowgirl dp positions - clitoral play (swiping) - praise - breeding kink - cervix fucking - unprotected sex (psa: wrap the willy; don't be silly) - pet names (angel, baby, good girl, love, mama, sweetheart, sweetie) - Nobara is your daughter; Yuuji is Nanami's - mention of drool/spit and tears.
𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 9.8k (Christ almighty...)
𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞: based on this ask from one of my anons; so happy to be writing an actual fic after a month, yippeee!! and tysm for 7.7k, my loveliesss!!
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“Hahah, I win again!”
“No fair, I used the aerials like you taught me, what!?
“Yeah, but there’s no point using them if you’re just gonna let Itadori counter.”
“Shut up, Megumi! Hey, Yuuji, one more time!”
“Hey, keep it down, you three.” You warn the children who cause a ruckus in the living room from the dining table. 
There’s nothing wrong with hanging with friends or going to someone’s house to play. Children are highly encouraged to do so to form deeper relationships! It’s what you’d want for your child, your sweet daughter poking out of her public shyness now that she’s playing video games with two of her best friends at a playdate.
Your daughter, Nobara, heard your warning and swerved her head back to apologize. “Sorry, momma! Itadori’s just cheating!”
“No, I’m not!” The pink-haired boy sitting next to your brunette daughter on the living room floor retorts. “She just sucks at playing!”
“Why you…” The two kids glare and argue to themselves while another sits on the living room couch and sighs at the interaction before him. Megumi was his name, the raven-haired boy putting his attention back on the animal encyclopedia he was reading. 
You chuckle before speaking again, “Well, cheating or not, keep your voices down, okay? Tsumiki is trying to do her homework.”The kids nod and return to their fun on the television; the sounds of controller buttons mashing and clicking fill the absence of their voices, and you go back to what you were primarily doing. “Need any help there, Tsumiki?”
The fourth grader perks up from using her name, flashing a weary smile in your direction. “I’m trying to find these countries for my quiz on Monday, but where are Colombia and Guyana…?” The paper before the little girl exhibited a blank sheet with a map of the North and Southern American continents; a word bank is provided to the side with a list of countries. 
Getting up from your chair, you walk to the vacant side where Tsumiki is and sit alongside her. “Hmm, let’s look at this together…”
This wasn’t your home; it belonged to the father of Yuuji Itadori. Staying during your daughter’s playdates was a rarity, particularly in another parent’s house. Yet today is a Friday, and you didn’t really have much to do other than clean the apartment and maybe catch up on a show or two. Besides, it didn’t hurt to watch the kids play and laugh now and then.
Luckily, you aren’t the only parent here; two other parents are taking out of their day to monitor the kids with you! The only problem is that…they make your stay a bit difficult.
Footsteps are heard descending the hall from the bedrooms, and your eyes peer to find a man walking into the kitchen area. “How’s studying going?” Golden blonde hair was the first you see, followed by the pleasant look of his chocolate brown eyes. A slim-fit grey long-sleeved shirt hugs his frame well, accompanied by dark-fitted jeans and dress socks. Kento Nanami, Yuuji’s adoptive father, has entered the scene and has made your heart skip to an irregular tune.
Thankfully, saving you from making a fool, Tsumiki answers the man. “Good, Auntie Y/n is helping me remember countries of South America!” She says with a blinding smile. 
“Is that so?” Nanami opens a cupboard to pull out a glass to pour water. “You think you’ll be okay for the quiz?”
“Mmmm, if I remember five countries out of ten, I should be fine. I know more, thanks to Y/n!”
“Good,” your breath hitches when he walks to stand behind the chair you were sitting on. “And how are those three?” 
You cough before averting your gaze to the living room. “They’re fine,” you watch your daughter exclaim in glory after finally beating Yuuji in the video game. The salmon-haired child groans in defeat, standing up to switch with Megumi so the other can play. “Nobara loves playing with the boys; they make her competitive spirit wild. It’s funny because she’s usually quiet and soft-spoken around me and others. However, that doesn’t explain her track record with terrorizing the boys of the school…”
Nanami chortles at your observation, the sound almost hypnotizing you. “Children bring out a different side in each other, helps them grow.”
“Wise words—“  
Grrooorrr!
You both stop at the sound of a rumble, glancing at Tsumiki to see that it is her grumbling stomach. The child chews her quivering lip and hides her face by looking back at her homework. You giggle, “You hungry?” She nods slowly. “Me too, sweetie; the pizza should be here any minute.”
“That’s odd,” Nanami takes a sip from his glass. “He said the food would be done by the time he’s off work. It’s almost 7 o’clock, is there traffic on—“
KA-CHA! CLACK-CLINK!
“Yo, I’m here with the pizzas,” another voice, a lot lower and gruff than the blonde’s, enters the space. Your heart skips again, and you instinctively turn to find the source — you know who the source is. 
Giant steps draw near the kitchen area, keys rustle as he stuffs them inside his jeans pocket, and the other hand holds three pizza boxes. After putting the food on the kitchen island, the man scratches his onyx head and stretches. His loose-fit cotton sweatshirt slips for a peak of his abs to be seen, and your eyes pull back before they hook onto the tanned skin for too long. Green eyes capture yours, and a smirk uproots the scar on the right of his lips. “Hey, Y/n,” the way he says your name pulls you in. “Good thing I caught ya before you could leave.”
You gulp to wet a dry throat. “It’s good to see you, too, Toji.”
Toji Fushiguro, the father of Tsumiki and Megumi, strides from the island down to where you three are, ruffling his daughter’s brown hair as a greeting. “How’s homework goin’?”
She swats her father’s hand away, fixing her ponytail. “It’s okay, I’m just hungry now.”
On that note, you decided it was time for everyone to take a break and eat. “All right, kids, the pizza’s here; come over and eat!” Nobara wastes no time springing out of the couch and sprints for the dining chair next to Tsumiki after you stand to grab the paper plates. 
The boys don’t move, eyes glued to the screen and fingers moving across the controllers. Nanami tries to get their attention again, only for Yuuji to excuse themselves for a few minutes. The golden-haired father looks to the other before giving him a curt nod, a signal for Toji to walk to where the boys were sitting and turn off the television. They groan in unison before the black-haired man picks them up effortlessly and waltzs back to the dining table. “Time to eat, squirts.”
You have known Nanami for a long time, meeting him around when Nobara was still aged by months and could barely walk. Being a first-time parent is no easy task, especially since the man took Yuuji as his own after the death of the baby’s parents and grandfather when he was just a newborn. The transition from sober salaryman to committed fatherhood wasn’t an gradual one. But you know what they say: it takes a village, no matter how big or small. You found Nanami at the perfect time while you took care of Nobara, lending a helping hand to the single guardian whenever he needed advice or help looking after the pink-haired babe. He’d return the favor, of course, having you two spending and getting to know more about each other throughout the years. So, as the babies grew and became friends, so did you and him. 
Toji entered your life around the same time as well; a single father of two was just as [if not more] challenging as your scenario. Not to mention – the poor man had to work ungodly hours, sometimes calling up a friend to look after his kids. You felt for him, even Nanami, so you’d help him out as well whenever he needed it, whether it be picking up Tsumiki and dropping her off at daycare or rocking three-month-old Megumi to sleep and waiting for the father to return home safely deep in the night.
Without the hood of parenthood, you three wouldn’t have become such good friends. Although there have been rough moments, at least you had the two to share and relate with if necessary. You’re so thankful for both fathers being in your life, serving as dependable outlets as you three grow along with your children. And it’s an even bigger blessing watching the kids have become great friends — practically inseparable! Words cannot express the gratitude for Nanami and Toji, treasuring the men so much that you’d love to maintain this mutual relationship with them as long as possible.
Being friends is more than enough; however, a tiny piece of yourself wishes something more to come out of this friendship. Admitting that to yourself is enough to have your ears heat up in shame. Crushing on the two fathers like some school girl, how embarrassing…
But can you blame yourself? As you all sit down and eat around the dinner table, you find it hard to restrict your eyes from wandering to either side of the table where the men sit. 
Don’t get it twisted; you’ve always thought of the dads to be attractive men. However, the more time you’ve spent visiting and getting to know them, you’ve found that they’ve become more and more charming as the years go by. Now, it has gotten a lot worse.
Nanami is so entrancing to the eye — damn near looks as if he walked out of a movie set. His mocha eyes were so soft and perfect with his mellow tone. The charismatic blonde easily played with your heart with how attentive he was, making sure if you and Nobara ever needed anything or ever wanted someone to voice with. God, he was too good to be true, it was hard not to fall in love with him — you were honestly mesmerized the moment he first said your name. Now, solely seeing him is enough to make your ears hot and your heart race. Your admiration for him threatens to dwell into that of a childish crush — how mortifying! 
And Toji — fuck, that man. Aside from having a body literally sculpted like an Olympic athlete, the dark-haired man was somebody who knew how to wind you down. Maybe it was the baritone voice that always captured your attention or the mischievous jokes and flirts he’d throw your way; whatever it was, Toji knew how to draw you in. Sure, you were a little intimidated by him at the start, but that’s long been substituted with feelings of trust and mutual respect from seeing how much of a good father he tries to be for his children. Although, the more you hear his gruff laugh, see his smile pull the scar, or forest green eyes drilling holes into your very being, the more you want to slap yourself for thinking about him day by day!
Goddamn it! As you sit at this table chewing on your pizza slice with the others, all you can think about is how pathetic you must be for falling for the two heartthrobs of your life. It’s appalling how these two fathers have yet to snatch up somebody, knowing there would be lines of people wanting a piece of them. And you sigh heavily, thinking if there’s ever a possibility you’d be lucky enough to be on the receiving end with either.
Probably not…
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
“Annnnd BAM! UNO!”
“What?? You’re cheating!”
“Am not! You can put draw twos on plus fours!”
“Hah!? That’s not in the rules!”
“So? That’s how my mom plays.”
Why am I being brought into this… You shake your head as you observe the kids play their final card game before bed. All the children are dressed in their respective pajamas, sitting in a circle around couch pillows as they draw and place cards down. The sunset has long been set as the hour hand touches the eleventh number; the kids usually go to bed at eight or nine. But it’s the weekend and meant to be a sleepover, so one or two more hours of fun shouldn’t hurt anyone.
“UNO Out!!” Except for the heavy groans shared with Megumi and Yuuji as Nobara finishes the card game with an enthusiastic slam, turning around to give the older brunette a high five. “See, Tsumiki? I told you I can handle it!”
“Man, that’s not fair,” Yuuji throws his card pile to the floor in exasperation. “Wish I knew about that rule beforehand.”
Megumi does the same, “You should’ve made the rules clear before we played the game.”
“Wahh, keep complaining, loser,” Your daughter annoys the boy with a blown raspberry. “Fine, we can try again; if I win, I’ll have Yuuji's bed to myself and Tsumiki.”
“Not happening!” You and the salmon-haired child deny the winner’s request, and the girl only snickers mischievously while Tsumiki deals the cards. 
Saved by the sound of footsteps approaching from the hall, Nanami is now here to dismiss the bunch. “All right, kids, time for bed.” Every one of them mourned at the statement; Yuuji quickly requested five more minutes, only to be shut down by his father. “Nope. I’m done with my shower, so you four must get to bed — that was the deal.”
“Aww man…” The four begrudgingly get up from the living room floor after putting the cards away and setting the pillows back on the couches. Before they leave, they wish you a good night. “Goodnight, Mom!” Nobara comes rushing to you for you to kiss her cheek.
“Goodnight, sweetpea,” you let go of her so she could run back. “And you three — where are my kisses?” Yuuji and Tsumiki happily come for you to place a goodnight kiss on their cheek. All that’s left is the silent child of the bunch who, unfortunately, doesn’t slip past your eyes. “That means you too, Megumi. Or else I’ll chase you down and kiss you up a storm like last time, you hear?”
The black-haired one fights a smile creeping his face, slowly taking steps to where you sat and fidgets as you kiss his cheek. You wish the boy goodnight, and he follows the others down the hall to the bedroom after doing the same. 
“Fushiguro’s in the shower now.” Now that the children are gone, Nanami sits on the left side of the couch before dimming the ceiling lights. He turns on the television, “Seems like they’re having fun.”
“Mmm, they are,” you settle by the middle to be close to him. “I can’t believe they’re all so big now. Didn’t Yuuji just turn eight years old last month?”
“Mhmm, he’s now the same age as Nobara and Megumi,” he says with a smile. “For a little while, that is. He is the youngest, after all.”
“You’re right, poor thing.” You giggle with a stretch. “Nobara’s gonna be nine this August, and Megumi at the end of the year…”
“Hmm. We are old.”
That made you laugh hysterically as the delivery of the comment sounded so defeated yet true. It’s okay, though, since Nanami was laughing himself with a shaken head. “Don’t say it like that! They say you get sexier during your thirties.”
“Are you sure about that? My grandfather had photos from his thirties, and he was balding and getting chunkier before turning thirty-five.” More laughter seeps through your lips. “I don’t know, Y/n; not all of us can keep fit like Fushiguro; he still works out while halfway approaching forty.”
“Now, hold on, Nanamin,” you grin while pointing to Nanami, and you can see him try to fight a smile after using the nickname he supposedly doesn’t like. “You can’t say shit, either; you still look like a model coming straight out of a Men’s Vogue magazine!” That made him laugh more, the sound warming your heart. "You still got it, Kento; a real prince charming."
“Why thank you, Y/n,” he appreciates the compliment.
“Of course.” 
The silence following that felt unsettling and had you fidgeting with the bottom of your halter top. Five uncomfortable minutes of nothing but the lowered volume of the television to fill the space. Come on, Y/n, keep the conversation going. “So, almost ten years, huh? A whole decade.” You watch Nanami nod along through your peripheral. “I remember the first time I met you; you looked like you barely got any sleep for the past month.”
“Because I didn’t. I was hassling with back-to-back meetings, on the cusp of finding another job to take outside of being a salaryman, and then had little newborn Yuuji to come home and put to sleep after feeding. Thank God you could babysit for him with Nobara; I’m forever grateful.”
“Oh God, I remember when you came home so tired while I was rocking both to sleep. I think that was the first and only time I’ve ever seen you fall asleep on the couch; so tired you forgot to greet me!” 
“We don’t talk about that,” he scratches his ear. “That wasn’t so bad when we promised to watch over Megumi and Tsumiki during the weekend while Fushiguro went to take up so many jobs. He fell to his knees once he passed the threshold, and I had to walk him to his bed.” 
You tittered at the recollection — all the memories mentioned made you feel warm and glad, all the years coming back to you with a happy memory. “We’ve done good, though. We managed, and the kids are growing to be good friends.”
“Before you know it, maybe Nobara will come to you about liking the boys—“
“That isn’t happening; I asked her the question like three weeks ago, and she said if she and the boys were the last people on Earth, she’d kill herself.” Nanami gasped and stifled a laugh, but you could see his shoulders bounce. “A third grader — an eight-year-old – telling me she’d off herself rather than be with one of the boys. Talk about radical...At least she loves to hang with them; she loves those boys like they’re her little brothers.” 
The blonde hums to your words. “Them being close is a blessing. I guess that’s thanks to us, having each other’s backs all these years.” 
It’s your turn to nod to him. “True, and I’m just glad they like being with each other.”
“Same here; Yuuji likes being with you guys,” he throws his head back. “…Just like I do.”
You blink. “What do you mean?” Suddenly, you feel as though you shouldn’t have asked that question because the way Nanami turns his head to look at you nearly paralyzes you. Oh my God…
“I like being with you.” He says it tenderly, only for your ears to pick up. “You make me feel at peace when you’re around, and I’m not as close to anyone as I am with you. A decade of you being in my life has made it more serene and…fun. So, I like it when you’re with me.”
You didn’t breathe a single puff of air during his speech. The worst part was that these were Nanami’s words — they were genuine. You could feel it in his bronze gaze, your heart unable to control itself. 
And it doesn’t help that your eyes took in every detail of him; his hair, usually neat and styled, is now down and damp from the shower, strands of hair sticking to his forehead. His home wear comprised a loose sweatshirt and dark grey sweats, but you snuck a glance of his collarbone that peaks from the opening collar of his shirt. You move your gaze to the floor to stop yourself from looking any further, or else more fuel for indecent fantasies will be stored for later!
Fingers fiddle with each other as you chew on your lip. God, Y/n, just fucking say it! “I, uhh…I like being with you, too, Nanami.”
“Do you really have to go?” He scoots in. “You know I don’t mind you staying over.”
“I—ahem—I think, yeah…I wouldn’t want to intrude on you and Toji; I’m sure you two would wanna catch up on stuff. I’ll just come back and pick Nobara up in the morning before—”
You stop uttering more once you feel a sudden hand on your right shoulder. Turning to your left, you didn’t even realize Nanami scooting to be so close to you, his face a hand’s length away from yours. Once again, you have forgotten how to breathe. And when he places his left hand on your right that lies on your lap? You don’t move a centimeter.
“I want you to stay,” his tone low and sincere. “I wasn’t kidding when I said I like you being around me. I…” He brings your hand to his lips, and a soft kiss makes you gasp faintly. “I love it, actually.”
You gulped. There’s no way this is happening right now. There’s just no way! “Kento—“
“I mean it.” He kisses your knuckles again, his eyes locked in with yours. He chuckles, “You were right.”
“About…what?”
“As you grew older, you have changed quite a lot. You’re…Well, no, you’ve always been pretty. But, all these years, you’ve become a lot more beautiful,” he draws his face in closer. “Breathtaking,” you instinctively close your eyes when his nose brushes yours. “Sexier.”
Nanami’s lips land on yours on the final word, and you don’t move a muscle when he does so. They felt soft against yours, perfect for the mellow kiss. It doesn’t last long, only a few seconds. Yet you quivered as he withdrew, placing his forehead against yours as his hand weaved with your fingers. 
“Ken…” Fuck, this is too much. The hand on your shoulder exhibits no interest in getting off. “I can’t, I have to—“ he shushes you with another kiss. 
“It’s okay, sweetheart,” What the fuck!? Did he just use a pet name on you? “You know I can take care of you, right? Even for one night,” you tremble when he licks your bottom lip. “Stay for tonight, okay?”
“Kento..” He pauses when you hesitantly remove your right hand from his grasp, thinking you’d push him off. But then you bring both hands to cup his sunken cheeks, caressing him with your thumbs. “…More.”
He doesn’t wait a second, accepting your request and bringing his back on yours. Small pecks to the lips gradually become more arousing and tilted heads to achieve a better angle for entry. You moan to his mouth, and so does he. Tongues slowly become adventurous, twirling with each other and exploring the other’s mouth. It feels so good; you lean into Nanami’s hold with every kiss. And he happily accepts you as he gives you more. 
Jesus Christ, something straight out of a dream. And if it was, you only hope to indulge in it for a little longer. More, more—
“What do we have here?”
However, you can’t indulge if another person comes into the frey unsuspectedly. 
Two bodies retreat from each other, sitting awkwardly on the couch appropriately as Toji walks into the living room. Your lips shook with anxiousness, stealing a glimpse of Toji’s smirk as he walked to your right. You sneak a glance at Nanami, seeing the shade of pink rise on his skin lightly, and you cover your face to shield yourself. Fucking fuck, this is embarrassing!
“Don’t act all shy on me now, you two.” Toji’s weight dents the right side of the couch, extending his arm to be behind you. “Don’t be scared, I won’t tell anyone.”
“Did you check the kids?” Nanami fakes a cough.
“Out like a light,” he answers, creeping his hand from behind onto your shoulder. You shudder at his calloused touch and gruff laugh. “What’s goin’ on, Y/n?” You meekly turned to look at him. Same with Nanami, Toji’s dark hair was damp from the shower, substituting his day outfit with a blank tank top and grey sweatpants. It took everything in your power not to peek at his pecs or exposed biceps. 
You avert your eyes from his. “Nothing…” You saw his chest jerk from a scoff. 
“Wow, you two are really gonna act like some kids, huh.” His snark remark has you both flattening your lips in shame. “Act all quiet when somethin’ happened.”
He prompted you to question. “How much…did you see?”
“I saw the kiss — you looked like you were enjoyin’ it.” He purposely said that to make your cheeks hot, the brazen bastard. “But I heard Kent here say he means it when he likes havin’ ya ‘round.”
Nanami speaks up while scratching his brow. “Y/n was, uhh, just about to leave.”
Toji lifts a brow. “Leave? When the night is still young?” He subtly shakes you. “Why so soon, hmm? It’s the weekend; I just got outta the shower an’ hoped you’d be here a lil' while.” He spoke to you slowly. It was a dangerous approach with that husky voice. He squeezes your shoulder when you’re not answering. 
“I just….You and Nanami probably have some ‘guy stuff’ you wanna catch up on, and I don’t want to come in between that, you know?” It’s here you muster the courage to look at the raven-haired man. Big mistake; now he has your attention where he wants it.
“So considerate, huh,” his free hand comes to your cheek, and you’re frozen as he plays with the flesh of it. “I think you should stay, Y/n. What kind of friends would we be if we let you drive out late." 
It’s hard to remind your body to breathe when Toji is surveying you intimately. What the fuck—why is this happening all of a sudden!?? “You–Toji, it’s okay, I’ll—“
“Besides,” he teases you by rubbing your earlobe with his thumb and forefinger. “I like you bein’ here, too.” You’re too distracted from him bringing his face to your neck to kiss, evoking an unstable gasp. “Lookin’ all pretty fr’ me…”
“Toji…—Ahh!” You didn’t notice him slide his hands down to the chest area of your halter top, his large palms groping your breasts affectionately. His kneads are rough yet pleasing, having you whimpering for him. “Don’t touch so…Hahhh…”
“Bad girl,” he chuckles to your ear after placing a kiss on your cheek. “Over here lettin' Kent touch you and think you can leave without me havin’ you for a bit, especially when you were eyein' us up earlier today...” He kisses your lips to take in your silent squeaks from fondling your chest, and you mewl for him. “Daddy wants you, too, baby…Heh, so does Kent.”
You peer to your left to see the mentioned man, and you’re taken aback to see him close to your side again. Holy shit. You literally questioned about this earlier, wondering if you’d ever be on the receiving side of these two. You did NOT expect this answer to come out of the blue within a few hours! And now that it’s here, how could you leave now?! This is what you wanted. And – to your surprise – so did they. 
You swallow spit and lift your left leg to the couch. And Nanami notices the initiative, coming between your legs to kiss your lips again. Your back pressed against Toji’s chest, you’re caged between the two men who seek to pleasure you in this proximity. You moan to Nanami sucking on your tongue, coinciding with the satisfying kneads of your breasts. 
Suddenly, Nanami breaks the kiss with a groan, and Toji chortles close to your ear. Curious, your eyes venture down to find that Toji’s hand grasps the tent of the blonde’s sweatpants. “Enjoyin’ y’rself, huh, Kent?” Toji strokes his hand on the boner, evident through the clothes.
“Toji, st—Hnnn…!” You watch this, eyeing Nanami’s composure slip away as his cock is being touched. The older man willingly massages his friend’s dick, and you observe how he effortlessly makes the sand-headed man hornier with his hand alone. It makes you feel hot, sensing a throbbing sensation in between your thighs. So, you silently bring a hand to sneak inside the hem of your wide-leg jeans. 
But you don’t go unnoticed because Toji kisses your cheek. “Like what ya see, sweetie?” He rests his chin on your shoulder. “Want me to take care of you? Here,” he then takes your hand to swap with his, your fingers feeling the rough skin of Nanami’s cock as you hold it. “Make him feel good, ‘kay?” 
You couldn’t believe it — Nanami’s hot, living cock was in your grasp. And as you have begun to stroke him, the noises he made turned you on even more. His veins are felt in your very palm, and precum exuding from his urethra lubricates the pretty fingers around his length. You can’t help but imagine how it would feel to have him ease the aching pulses between your legs, how good it would feel to have his girth massage your insides.
But your crude thoughts are interrupted by Toji’s left hand skillfully unbuttoning and unzipping your jeans, slithering inside your panties, and meeting your wet cunt with his fingers. You jolt, but he’s right there to coo, “Relax, mama,” his free hand squeezes your chin to turn and face him. “Daddy’s gotcha…So fuckin’ beautiful,” Toji slams his lips into you for a steamier kiss, and you lose yourself.
Your hand on Nanami goes faster, eliciting extra precum to escape and stain the material of his sweats. Nanami leans forward to lick and suck the skin of your neck, forcing you to break the kiss with Toji to wail inaudibly while his fingers brush up on your soaked folds with unforgiving speed. Not to mention his bulge grinding against your back…
“Ahhnn, wait, guyss, we can’t—Mmmm…!” Toji kisses you again, grinning at your expression as he sucks and nibbles on your tongue. “We can’t do this…Not here…”
“Why?“ Nanami blows on your ear. “What’s wrong, love?”
CREEAAKK!!
That’s what’s wrong!
Like a flipped switch, all three adults unscrew themselves away from each other and sit back into their original positions. Nanami immediately pulls his pants back up, using a couch pillow to hide the situation that shouldn’t be present as he’s sitting in the living room. Toji follows suit, leaning on the couch arm. 
Sounds of tiny footsteps draw near, and they belong to none other than your daughter, who sleepily rubs her eyes coming into the space. You are the first thing she sees, “Momma? You’re still here?” 
“Mhmm,” you hoped you didn’t sound too off. “I’m just watching a movie with Uncle Toji and Kento. What are you doing up?”
“I thought I heard your voice,” Nobara walks to you and puts her head on your shoulder, and you voluntarily pick her up to have her sit on your lap. You smile; even though she’s growing day by day, she’s still your baby at heart. “Didn’t you say you’d leave after I go to bed?”
“Yeah, I was supposed to,” the two men sitting on either side of the couch say nothing. “And I can’t go now, seeing you’re still up.”
Nobara nuzzles into your neck. “Does that mean you’ll spend the night, too?” 
“Mmm, I wish I could, sweetpea,” you kiss her forehead. “But I didn’t bring any change of clothes or pajamas. I don’t even have my toothbrush – I’d be walking around with stinky breath.” You hear the girl giggle at your words.
What you just said gave the two fathers an idea, the men giving each other a look before saying anything. “I have some unused travel-size toothbrushes and toothpaste I’ve kept from business trips.” Nanami inquires; you put your foot in your mouth on that one.
Toji adds, “You can use the sweatshirt I wore today as PJs. I don’t mind.”  
Of course, you don’t.  Shaking your head, you knew what the two were insinuating. The adult language is too nuanced for your daughter to pick up on. It’s not like you’ve never slept over Nanami’s place before; you’ve done it dozens of times — even Toji’s! However, this time was different; you three have crossed a line you didn’t think was possible. What happened minutes ago was a mere taste of what could happen if you three decided to change this relationship into something more intimate. And now, after revealing the curiosity, the men were all in to see it through.
…And yet, you can’t say you don’t feel the same either. Are you kidding? You have goosebumps just thinking back on how close you three were, how their hands and lips felt on your skin, and their attention placed on nothing – on no one else – but you. It made your heart beat uncontrollably, knowing that your decade-long crush on them was being favored in more ways than one — like a dream come true!
“Mom?” Snapping back to reality, you peer to Nobara, who awaits your answer. With a smile, you boop her nose with a finger.
“Only if you go back to sleep, sweetpea.”
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
The hour hand had finally met the twelfth number, the midnight hour designating the quiet neighborhood into a calm slumber. Light posts automatically turn on to display the sidewalk, yet the darkness of the night serves as a blanket to cover the silent homes. 
Nanami’s home was simple — a one-floor house perfect for the blonde man and his son. Aside from the living room and kitchen, it had a hall that harbored the bedrooms, Yuuji’s guest bathroom, and closet. The children were all resting in Yuuji’s room, the first door to the left you’d meet when entering the hallway. Other than the master bedroom, there was no other room besides the living room couch for you to sleep in. 
Being by yourself is something Nanami wouldn’t want, and Toji would’ve primarily taken the couch since you had no plans of staying. But since that’s been changed, the two men took this opportunity to enjoy their sleepover with your company, using the master bedroom at the end of the hall to further themselves from the ears of the snoring kids. Tonight, you’d finally have your answer by being spoiled by your crushes all night.
“Dahhh, Toji, yer tongue…fingers…Ohhh!”
“Fuck, Y/n, you look so gorgeous…Here, kiss me, angel.”
“Mmmm, fuckin’ shit, y’ taste so good…Waited so long fr' this..."
You were practically stuck with them the moment they locked the door. After borrowing Nanami’s shower, your nude body was met with hungry hands and hot kisses, drowning your senses with their overwhelming presence. Three naked bodies lie on the bed, you with your back to the sheets and legs spread. To your right was Nanami, making out with you lovingly while a hand cups and massages a breast. Toji had his face nestled between your thighs, his tongue licking around your labia and fucking your vagina, inspiring you to cry for the blonde next to you. The older man also pleases you by fingering your asshole with lube, conditioning it for future use.
You melt into Nanami’s kiss, and soft tweaks on your nipple make you mewl into his lips more. But you withdraw to scream, “Ahhaaa! Kentoo, touch me more…”
“Hmm? What, baby?” He presses his lips to your cheek, kissing your chin to the outlet between your neck and shoulders. “You like it when I play with your chest?” A low snicker humors him from watching you nod, and he brings his mouth to your nipple to suck on. 
You grip the sheets, “Ohhh, hooo…! Tojiii, y’re gonna make me c—Uuuhh!”
He separates his mouth from your soapy folds, and your liquids stick to his chin. What an obscene sight with the grin he has on his face. “Yeah? Ya wanna cum on my mouth, mama?” Unlike Nanami, Toji doesn’t take a nod; he’s a bit of an asshat, so he licks your clitoris to tease. “Use them words, baby; wanna hear you say it fr’ me.”
“Y–Yesss, yes, I do,” a hushed howl after Toji sucks on your pearl and the other rubbing on your nipple to the roof of his mouth. “Pleaseee, I wanna cum…!”
“Heh, well, don’t go cummin’ on me just yet,” he kisses your slit before straightening up and pats your inner thigh. “All ready fr’ ya, Kent.”
Nanami then releases your nipple with a ‘pop’ and maneuvers to lay on his side. “Come here,” he asks,  resting your head on his arm and lifting your leg. You hum at the contact of his glans meeting your cunt, “So wet for me, huh?” He pushes his cock to the entrance, and you gasp at the tip inserted into your vagina. “Relax, angel,” he coos to you with a kiss on your nose, gauging your reaction as he slowly snugs your vagina with every inch of his cock. 
Your mouth goes agape at the stretch of you taking him in; the feeling of his cock feels too good and surreal. And the brush of his dick on your sweet spots has you squeak, same with him poking on your cervix. He throws in a few thrusts to start, but you didn’t expect that. No, fuck! He rubs on your walls at a precise angle, prompting your orgasm to come a bit too quickly to comprehend. So, you have to bite your lip to keep your scream hushed, letting the flutter of your cunt speak for you. 
And Nanami notices it, hissing at the contraction. “—Hnnm! Shit…Did you cum, sweetheart?”
“Oh, did they?” And here comes Toji, straddling both the bodies below him. He leans into your face, licking your ear. “Felt that good, huh, baby? We haven’t even started.” He kisses your forehead before uncurling back up and aligning his dick to your lubed anus. Then, he pushes the tip to be swallowed by your puckered hole, and you mumble small prayers as his fat length is pushed inside. “Shit, this tight ass…”
The older man begins to move into you, his shaft churning the inside of your ass. Nanami does the same, his cock scraping your insides synched with Toji’s rhythm. The movement has you immediately making noise beyond your control, wails bouncing around the space between you and the men. 
It isn’t long before the two find a groove; Toji pistons his cock with every pull of Nanami’s, and sounds of skin slapping lasciviously against each other are picked up by your ears. How could you not tighten more around the limbs inside you, especially when they scrape on against your tender wails so accurately? Especially after coming, your nerves have not yet recovered from the wave earlier. 
“Ohh! Hoooh fuuuck,” your back arches a bit, helping the sand-haired man to find a better angle to scratch the upper wall of your vagina. Your vision is screwed shut, making it easier to indulge in the sensation of their cocks ravaging your insides. 
Toji sees you from up top, his eyes traveling down to your ass and whistling at the sight of you taking his and the other’s dick. “Damn, ya feel so good, Y/n. Ass so tight, act like ya don’t wanna let go.”
God, why’d he have to say it like that? Your face was hot enough; did he want to make you melt on this bed? And Nanami doesn’t make it any better. “Heheh, they twitched,” he says matter-of-factly.
“Yeah, felt it, too…What’s goin’ on, sweetie?” Toji pulls his cock until his cockhead is on the verge of coming out, and he slams it back down to have you moan aloud. “Ya like bein’ fucked like this? Takin’ Daddy’s cock like a good girl…?”
“They’re gripping me again.”
“Ken, stoop!!” The fair-headed man laughs at your protest, your resilience still present even if it’s wiped away in seconds when Toji quickens his pace. “Nnhhh…! N-Not too fast, I’m sensit’veee—Ahhh!” 
“You say that, but your body says otherwise, love,” Kento brings a hand to your hip to massage. “—Nnnn! Jesus…wanna cum so bad…”
Oh, fuck, imagine: being filled to the brim by Nanami’s come? Being stuffed by both of them? It turned you on so bad. “—OhhhGod, please, cum inside me!”
Gold eyebrows furrow. “I can’t, baby; don’t got a condom on—“
“It’s okay, I want it…!” The thought of getting pregnant again should be the very last thing that should pop into your mind right now. And yet, being knocked up by these two has you craving Nanami’s release even more. “Pleaseeplease, I want you to fill me up…! Don’t hold back for me, Ken.” You can tell he’s still on the fence about it. But with a kiss on his nose and a soft hand on his cheek, you convince him otherwise.
“Wanna be the mother of my child so bad, huh?” He says with a chortle, “So beautiful…” Before he snaps his hips into you, Nanami brings you in for one more kiss and wraps his hand on your shoulder to keep you close. He ruts into you with purpose, making sure he’s balls-deep with every push and reaching the deepest he can. You howl at the brush of your cervix again, allowing him to use you to chase his climax.
“Oh? You got him going, now,” Toji comments from above with a smirk, still maintaining the pace with Nanami despite the younger male going erratic. Your screams go higher and higher, so you bring in a hand to cover up the noise. This was not the time to test how thick the bedroom walls were, despite the kids sleeping a closet and office away. 
Nanami groans into your lips; his length relentlessly rubs your silky texture. And when his orgasm does reach him, he grinds his pelvis, stirring his length so deep that you can’t help but writhe with him. You can feel his penis pulsate with every pump of his load inside you, satisfying your excitement as your hand massages his skull. He keeps you like this until his body has calmed down, sluggishly removing his pillowy lips from yours with a sigh. 
Chocolate brown orbs are fixated on yours, the hand on your hip coming up to wipe spit from your face. “God, you drive me crazy. Making me cum inside, one child’s not enough?”
You titter, “Well, wouldn’t hurt to have another, you think?…Mmmm,” you almost forget about Toji. The raven-haired man removes himself from your ass, his shaft still standing.
“Don’t forget ‘bout me, now,” he reminds you two of his presence, getting his frame off you both so you can move around. 
You stand with your knees between Nanami’s legs while he sits upright. “Come here,” he places his hands on your hips and leads you back onto his cock. This time, he’s the one entering your asshole, and you both moan at the union of your sexes. Once your ass meets the base of his pelvis, his arms wrap around your waist and carefully bring you down with him. Your back to his chest, his lips to your ear. “So tight and warm…Hmmm.”
This position is new to you – in fact, this was all new! You can’t remember the last time you had your body this close and intimate with another figure. It’s been so long – damn near bizarre - especially when your heat is transferring with the gold-haired man behind you. The aroused hums to your ears have you throb involuntarily; you could melt into his arms right about now.
That thought goes out the window when Toji’s weight has you looking in front of you, and your brain nearly shuts down at the sight of the older man coming in between your legs to lift them, his emerald eyes locked on yours. Jesus, fuck! You had to turn away – it was all too much! 
“Ah ahh, don’t go turnin’ ‘way from me,” he gives your legs for Nanami to hold from the back of your knees, and then he cups your cheeks and moves your face back to him. “Waited almost ten years to have you like this, so I wanna see all of you, mama.” Just when your face couldn’t get any more unreasonably hot, this handsome bastard just had to say that while fondling your chest! And it doesn’t help the other charming face is placing kisses on your neck. 
Toji uses this position to spread your folds; he can’t suppress the ardent smirk lifting his scar. “Kent did his thing on you, and ya still want more, huh?” You press your lips together when he slaps his glans on your leaky chasm. “Watch...” Your eyes follow down to the tip of his dick, vulgarly using the come seeping out of you as lube. You gasp sharply at the insertion, “Breathe fr’ me, baby,” he coaxes you through every inch of him, burrowing inside your inner channel that you almost forget to blink from the display. The girth of him has you wail beneath him, and you cry at the poke of your cervix again! Christ, you don’t know how long you can do this. 
“—Hnngh…! Fuck, good girl,” the dark-haired one praises, grinding his pelvis down to churn more friction inside you. “So good fr’ Daddy...”
Slow ruts to your chasm begin the second round, three bodies rocking within a mutual cadence. You throw your head back with shut eyelids concentrating on the two dicks that push to and fro from your holes and scrape your walls. And a choked scream leaves your frame at the jab of your cervix again. 
“Ohhhshiit,” eyebrows furrow with a chewed lip, and the two men begin to quicken the pace. “HooohGod! F’eel so good…Ahahhn!”
Toji puts his hands on the headboard as leverage, using his hips and the flex of his abdomen to take control. Fuck, seeing his nude physique so up close was too marvelous; it couldn’t be true — it shouldn’t be! 
And Nanami is no better while whispering to your ear. “Feeling good, Y/n?” He teases your lobe with a lick, “Gripping on us like crazy as if you’ve been waiting for this, hmm?” You try to protest, but all that comes out are sobs when he jerks his hips unexpectedly. He chuckles, “So cute…Hmm? Heh, you are feeling good, huh, love.”
Can you believe it? Being fucked by these two attractive men, and you’re fingering your clit in the midst of it all? Embarrassment rings your ears as your fingers swipe and grind around the neglected pearl. Toji and Nanami share a look for a split second, and then Nanami switches his hands with the other. Instead, an arm snakes around your waist to keep you on him, and the other silently moves yours aside to play with your clit. 
That only has you crying even harder. Pinches to your clit and kisses to your leg accompany the increased speed of their thrusts. Tears well up at every jolt of your body from the frequent jabs to your vaginal walls, scraping your G-spot so precisely. And the length in your butt keeps feeling so fucking good! Grazing your velvet texture that you can’t think straight.
“—Gaahhh! Mmmph!” Your hand finds Nanami’s wrist to hold on to as his middle and ring fingers swipe on your clitoris. You scream his name when he pitches it softly, “Kent—Ohhh! Shhtop, ish too much!!”
“Yeah, too much?” He toys with it gently. “But I don’t hear you telling me to stop…”
The two of them go at a sporadic pace, skin slapping onto yours harshly in sync. They nearly take your breath away, thanking God they have a hold on you before the momentum steers you away. “Hahah, ohhh, ohmyGod, guys,” Toji bends down to add more of his weight, making you howl from the angle of his fat cock. “I cannn’t; again, I’m about to cuuhmm agaiinn!!!”
“Really? You wanna cum, baby? Mmph! Fuck, this pussy…” He groans. “Gonna be a good girl and let Daddy finish here, yeah?” You nod, and Nanami pinches your clit again on Toji’s behalf. “Words, sweetie, words.”
“Yesss, Daddyyy!” 
“Gonna lay there and look cute while I knock ya up, right?” Again, the thought of having another baby should not have you excited. But again, there’s no way your head could be right during all of this. “Hmm? Want Daddy to give ya a baby?”
“Mmmm! Please, Daddyyy, fill me up…!” You were spouting out nonsense, but who cares? “Make me a mama again…Ohhh!”
And he does just that, pounding his shaft at you so harshly that it rocks your entire body, especially with how he brings your legs up to your chest to have your slit fully exposed for him. “Holy shit,” he bites his lip as he eyes your nude frame before him. “Look so fuckin’ sexy like this, Y/n.”
You couldn’t thank him for the compliment, your lips busy with Nanami’s as he takes you in for a steamy kiss. Both men drill their members into you in erratic unison, leaving you a squealing mess for the fair-headed one to deal with. His hands continue to tweak and grind on your clitoris, and your orgasm hits you before you can prepare yourself with a tear trickling down. 
And the flutter of your walls around their cocks eggs them onto waves of their own, groaning along with your cries as they piston you with the final ruts of their hips. Their pulsating lengths exert their loads inside your holes simultaneously, filling you up with their essence as their sweaty bodies heave and shudder. Nanami releases your clit from his grasp, the same with your lips. 
He hums pleasantly, his brown orbs hooded yet comforting. “Told you I love having you around me.”
“Bet y’re glad you stayed over,” Toji’s hand finds its way to your chin after putting your legs down. He scoffs when you bashfully nod, bringing you in for a kiss. “Did so well, mama…”
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
Mornings are typically a thing you share with your daughter in the comfort of your home. From the moment she came into your world to having her own room and bed, Nobara would always be the first thing you’d see when waking up. Coming into your room to greet you, pulling you out for something, or get dressed and ready for the day with you – it was a routine the two of you shared, a sacred thing to enjoy between parent and daughter. So, to wake up in a room different from yours or see a different face has been a rarity ever since she became your top priority.
This morning, though, was one of those rarities.
“Good morning, Y/n.”
Your eyes flickered open from birds chirping and the sun peaking from the bedroom curtains. Drowsy eyes scan around to see that you are not in your room, already being alerted that something had happened last night of the change of scenery. And when you look to see who lies beside you, it all hits you like a slap.
It was like a scene from a romance movie, waking up to Nanami’s stunning face that was highlighted by the sunlight. Fair blonde hair that matched the softness of his russet eyes and a kind smile to match. And your breath hitches when he brings a hand to caress your cheek. 
“Mornin’, Y/n.”
And, of course, he wasn’t the only one who’d be greeting you. You sheepishly turn around to see the other man looking at you, viridian orbs ready to meet your pretty face. The smile on his face pulls the scar on his lips, the man effortlessly shooting an arrow into your heart. 
Everything that occurred the night before flashes, and the heat returns to dance on your cheeks and ears. Waking up in a different bed with two handsome men is one thing. To wake up to your crushes greeting you good morning, all three of you nude and comfortable after a night of mutual passion? Oh, you had to be dreaming still.
And yet, you couldn’t look at either of them in the eyes, averting your gaze modestly. “…Good morning,” you say quietly, almost squeaking your heart out when they both move to be closer. They kiss you, embrace you, and give you attention as if your decade-long crush has finally been lifted for them to spoil you. It’s kind of suffocating in a way. But, God, it felt so good.
Eventually, you got up and threw on some clothes to make food for everyone, Nanami joining you after putting his sleepwear back on. Toji had to leave for a moment to grab stuff from the store, his daughter waking up to the sound of him slamming the front door close. Then came Megumi, then Yuuji, who greeted Nanami with a hug, and now Nobara. The children sit around the table and mingle while you and the blonde fix some blueberry waffles, eggs, and bacon.
“Isn’t that my dad’s shirt?” Megumi was the first to notice it, pointing to the sweatshirt that went with your loose jeans — the same sweatshirt that Toji wore yesterday.
You flatten your lips before coming up with an answer. “Yes…I had nothing to wear for sleeping over, so he gave me his shirt. He didn’t mind; he brought an extra one.”
“You stayed over, Auntie?” Yuuji inquired after taking a sip of his apple juice. “Where did you sleep?”
“On the couch.”
Brown brows scrunch together before Nobara asks, “But wasn’t Uncle Toji the one who’d sleep on the couch?” 
You open your mouth, but words fail to exit out. Sharing a glance with Nanami, who coughs while putting waffles on plates, he covers for you. “He slept in my bed with me.”
“You slept with my father?” Tsumiki interrogates, trying to stifle a laugh. “He snores a lot, so I’m sorry if you couldn’t sleep, Uncle Nanami.”
As if on cue, the front door opens and closes with the arrival of her father, walking to kiss Tsumiki’s cheek and ruffle Megumi’s hair before entering the kitchen. He pulls something out of the plastic grocery bag and hands it to you. Putting the mixing bowl down, you take what seems to be a box, and your eyes widen to Toji’s amusement. “I’d take those before leaving if I were you.” 
“Jesus Christ,” you put the box of birth control to the side with a flustered face. “Thank you…” And before you can process it, Toji sneaks a kiss on your cheek with you distracted. The older man cackles to himself when you slap his arm and push him off. Thankfully, none of the kids notice.
“Uncle Toji,” Nobara grabs the man’s attention. “Is it true you slept with Uncle Nanami?” 
The question takes him aback, but Toji’s quick on his feet to reply. “Yeah, I did. Your dad looks like a dead man when asleep, Yuyu.”
The pink-haired child nods along to the nickname. “Mhmm! Even when he comes home from work, he looks like he hasn’t slept in weeks, like some kind of vampire.” You snuck a glimpse at the sand-haired man, who rolled his eyes before bringing plates to put on the table. 
“Anyways,” he diverts the conversation to a different subject, placing a plate full of food in front of the boys. “Be ready for the zoo after breakfast, Yuuji. Didn’t you say you wanted to see the new tiger cubs?”
The Fushiguro siblings brighten with interest at the mention of the zoo, turning to their father, who instantly shuts them down with crossed arms. “Don’t even think about it. I’m already takin’ you two to the aquarium tomorrow; you want me to pay for more tickets for some animals?”
The joy in their eyes diminishes in seconds. “Cheapskate,” Megumi mumbled under his breath, earning a blueberry to be thrown at him by Toji. But the siblings smile when Nanami says that they can come along. 
“Momma,” you dreaded hearing your daughter’s voice during this conversation, hesitantly peering at the dark-haired girl after being given her breakfast. “Can I go, too?” 
Oh, goddamn it. “I’m sorry, baby, but I can’t keep going back and forth from the house and wherever. Besides, you have karate today.”
“I can skip!” Your mouth drops at her enthusiasm. “Besides, we can just sleep over again!”
This girl! “Nobara, you can’t just go making those decisions like this is your home. Did you ask Yuuji’s father if it was okay to stay another night?” You probably shouldn’t have said that, as the girl immediately asks the blonde father the exact question. And to your shock, he says they’re free to stay another night. You’re not helping! “You don’t even have an extra pair of clothes!”
And to make it worse, the onyx-haired man beside you says this, which makes you facepalm with a groan. “I can drive you two home and back. Saves ya some gas.”  You’re not helping either, and you’re just losing gas for my sake!
Mornings were supposed to be an easy thing to deal with. And yet here you are, dealing with a predicament. Shit like this is precisely why you don’t stay for too long during Nobara’s playdates and sleepovers; now you’re backed into a position where saying no seems futile. Nothing wrong with the children wanting to hang out more, but fuck does it throw the routine off. However, it wasn’t all bad. Because the whole point of this was for the little girl to have fun with her friends, who are you to be a Debby downer on her parade?
Plus…you’d get to hang out with Toji and Nanami for another day; that alone has your stomach running laps right now. Not only did you have your feelings reciprocated by the two men within a single night and then some, but you’re now invited to stay another day and enjoy the weekend in their company. You can sense their gazes on you, awaiting your answer – your approval to spoil and please you for one more night. And what makes your heart skip into flips is that there would probably be more days and nights to deepen this relationship between you three…
So, with a heavy sigh, you slide your hand down your face.
“…Can we at least go get some spare clothes first?”
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© 𝐇𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐲2024 – reblogs + comments are appreciated wholeheartedly ☆ header art by rororogi morgera + dividers by @/cafekitsune.
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mcrcki · 6 hours ago
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"you know that's not what i fucking mean, xaden, don't fucking start with that--" they were only feeding off each other, and despite violet knowing that, she cannot stop herself from following him down this path, letting his anger fuel her own. "you're changing physically because of whatever the fuck you've done! i can fucking watch you become someone different! every time you tap into that fucking power, you're changing!" she felt like she was going to break down, every other word from him had her reeling, watching him become more and more unrecognizable.. this couldn't continue on, she had wasted so much fucking time without her memories, had spent so long just what? flirting with him and going on fucking dates with dain? she had doomed him with her inactions, her inability to find a cure. only putting herself in danger more so he felt like he needed to do more and more to protect her? "you think i wasn't tired of the maybe's?! of the fucking uncertainty that was going to come with you going down this road, with there being no fucking wards, no one else here that knows what the fuck a venin is! but if my two options were you dying or you becoming this, that doesn't put me in a fair position and you know it. i couldn't choose between those two, and you cannot expect me to make that choice." though, now, he had made that choice, leaving her with no other option right? if he was going to keep falling, not giving her any time to find a cure.. could she let him just walk away knowing how much of a danger he could become? he was already the most powerful rider in their generation, what would be become as a venin? "i can handle myself! you know i can! i don't need you to keep fucking draining because you're afraid of me being hurt! why can't you help me without falling further down this path, xaden? why does it have to be this way!" he had helped her so many times, had kept her safe so many different ways already, why did it have to be different now? why was the only option complete indifference or draining! "those people were complacent in torturing me and my friends, they would have killed you. someone just trying to deck you because you're being a dick is different! killing using those powers is different! how do you not see that every time you use them is making you fall deeper into this! that every time you drain, you get closer and closer to becoming one of them! how can you expect me to just sit back and watch you destroy yourself!" it was so hard to look at him, to see xaden underneath all of this. he was just right there, right within arms reach and gods all she wanted was her xaden back. to never have to deal with this venin bullshit ever again. but every day she was in danger, and considering her track record and luck that was nearly every day, he would continue to fall, until he was completely unrecognizable. before her and her friends were in danger because they stood in his way. wasn't it her responsibility to stop this? he became this because of her, she had to be the one to stop this. "you can't promise that. my power is basically the only thing that can fucking kill you, you remember that, right? you really think you won't see that as a threat if you let yourself go any further!" they were going in circles, this wasn't going to get them anywhere, not when he was clearly dodging her questions again, waiting for her to 'ask the right one', she's so sure. she wanted to fucking scream, needing a straight answer out of him for once. "tell me their name xaden. what is the name of the person you just killed?" because of all the people they knew... what were the chances that it was one of her friends? that rhi or dain or mira said something that set him off.. did he know anyone else that would send him over the edge that wouldn't have broken him? because touching imogen or liam would be too much, this wouldn't even be a conversation.. but dain? mira? her heartbeat only grew louder in her ears waiting for the answer, knowing it'll devastate her regardless.
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"being physically different doesn't mean shit, are you really that fucking shallow, violet? i look a little different, that means i'm going to start attacking and killing the people i've given up fucking everything to protect? you act like i did this for a fucking laugh, everything i've done has been to keep you all safe!" he's sure he's given up more than she knows. he's very aware of the fact that his father is watching from wherever he is, cursing his name and disowning his only son. there's no family for him when he does meet malek, she'll be the only one by his side, and yet somehow he's the bad guy here. "we've been existing on a maybe for months! i'm not going to apologize for being sick and tired of balancing on the edge of whatever the fuck is going to happen when i finally let go! i'm sick and tired of this shit, violet! i wanted to end it all and you wouldn't let that happen, i wanted to embrace it and now that's a problem too!" he couldn't keep standing in between two different shitty endings, something had to give eventually. and at least this way, he could keep her safe. "really, because it seems like you're just expecting me to ignore the fact that you're in danger because it might make me get worse! we don't even know if that's the reality of it and you're acting like i shouldn't try to help you because of a guess!" he can't help but shake his head, frustrations leaking into every word he speaks, frustrations he'd never imagined being aimed at violet of all people, and yet here they are. "how was it different? i killed dozens of people that day, violet, none of who actually started the fight, but i kill one that attacked me and you're up in arms? that's not fair, you can't change your standards now because you don't like the method." but the more she lectures him, the more he doesn't see how they can possibly come to an agreement on this. she'll never see him as anything but a monster now, will she? as much as she claims not to, as much as she claims she wants to save him and keep him by her side, he's always going to be a monster to her now. "you would never be just a fucking power source, violence. and i think liam would respect that i made a choice to keep him alive, and that i'm still me after all of this!" and would that be partially because he was their leader? because liam felt loyalty to him? maybe so, but he's sure liam still would have accepted the choice after a bit of a debate. the same way he'd accepted every other sacrifice xaden had made for the marked children to keep them alive and safe. "i knew who it was." he replies, already knowing that elaborating any further will doom him, damn him in her eyes as something mad and irredeemable, if he isn't already. and maybe that's the problem. she knows too much, knows him too well, thinks she can read him like a book and know that something is wrong, rather than accepting that she's reading into something that isn't there. "it's not your responsibility, violence. i made my choices, they're my responsibility."
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gallavichsreddie1128 · 4 months ago
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Y/N being obsessed with Wolverine
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WARNING: SPOILERS IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE MOVIE SAVE AND READ LATER ;)
Warning: Dirty flirting
Wade and Y/N go way back so when he’s captured by the TVA she ends up with him. 
OK so maybe she’s like his sidekick.
She has the same suit but sexier.
Through all the jumps to different Wolverines Y/N is thrilled by the handsome man. 
Wade has always known that she found him attractive. 
When they get to the “right” one she immediately flirts with him.
“Wow, aren't you like the sexiest man alive?” She flirts.
Deadpool looks at her through his mask like “bitch,really?” 
Logan snorts at her and finishes his drink.
Seeing him in his suit? Oh she’s in love. 
She runs his fingers up his muscles and sighs, “Made in heaven.” 
Logan raises his eyebrow at her and turns to Deadpool, “She’s like you but hotter.” 
He called her hot? Oh she gets more handsy. 
Even though she’s Deadpool's sidekick she stays out of the fights between them and is the one that breaks them up.
“You’re supposed to be my sidekick! Just because you want to fuck him doesn’t mean that title goes away.” Wade tells her.
“If he wasn’t here right now I would do the nastiest things to you.” She purrs. 
He looks at her up and down and considers it. 
“I heard that!”
When Deadpool wraps his arms around Johnny, Y/N does the same with Wolverine.
“You’re so buff and muscular. It’s hard to keep my hands off ya.” 
Cassandra gets inside Y/N’s mind and calls her a whore. 
Y/N smirks at Wolverine, “Only for you big boy.”
“Well since you don’t wanna join them in taking her down, Can I suck your dick?” 
Her suit gets nearly shredded and both Deadpool and Wolverine stare at her body, “If you don’t fuck her, I will.” Wade says. 
Wolverine snorts at that.
Seeing Wolverine with his mask nearly made her cum, “And here I was thinking that you couldn’t get hotter. I was wrong.” She sighs, dreamily.  
She cried when she thought she lost both her bestie and her dream man. 
But when he came out shirtless that thought went away. 
“Oh baby you’re gonna have to fuck me soon. I don’t know how long I can take it.” She says.
He chuckles and takes off his mask.
He pulls her into a kiss and she happily accepts.
Deadpool rolls his eyes as the kiss gets deeper, “Okay we get it! You guys wanna fuck. Disney won’t allow that.” 
Y/N breaks the kiss with a love sickening smile.
Wolverine looks down at her with the same look. 
“Ok fuckheads. Let’s get going!” Deadpool says.
Both of them sigh but walk hand in hand.
“You take good care of her and no babies until after marriage.” Logan rolls his eyes. 
“No promises friendo. We are fucking like rabbits tonight.” She smirks at him.
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hoshifighting · 2 months ago
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hi can i request svt's reaction to their s/o being cockdrunk and using their cock as a toy bc she's ovulating 👹👹
warnings: smut, overstimulation, ovulation, teasing, dirty talk, clit stimulations, hair pulling, ass spanking.
seungcheol: dying inside, but god, he loves it. he’s gritting his teeth, trying to hold on as you ride him like it’s the only thing you need. “shit, baby, you really gonna use me like this?” he’d growl, hands gripping your hips to guide you. he’s sensitive as hell, but he’ll take it, no matter how much it wrecks him, whispering in your ear about how he’ll fuck you until you can’t walk. (also would love how fast you get wet)
jeonghan: whining at this point, but still so into it. he’s teasing you the whole time, even though he’s losing his mind. “so desperate, huh?” he’d smirk, cock twitching with every thrust. he’d make you grind on him slow, pulling you down by the neck to whisper filthy shit in your ear, making you need him even more.
joshua: fucked out and blushing, but he’s doing everything to make sure you’re satisfied. “you’re ovulating, huh? can’t get enough of me?” he’d pant, voice shaky as you bounce on him. even though he’s close to overstimulation, he’d still talk sweetly, whispering how he’ll give you everything you need, no matter how sensitive he gets. (best bf ever award)
junhui: loves how wild you get when you’re ovulating. “damn, is it day one?” he’d grin, even though he’s groaning from the sensitivity. he’d slap your ass, leaning in to bite at your neck, knowing it drives you crazy, making sure you’re completely ruined.
hoshi: he’s whining from how hard you’re going, but he’s not stopping you. “fuck, babe, I’m so—ahh, fuck, I’m so sensitive.” he’d gasp, hips bucking into you. he’d grab your thighs, spreading them wider, and mutter, “holy shit, you’re gonna milk me dry…” he pushes deeper.
wonwoo: would be groaning under his breath, but still letting you use him however you want, because he's thebest boyfriend ever :( <33. “shit, babe, I can’t—fuck.” he’s biting his lip, trying to hold it together as you grind down on him, overstimulating him to the max, hands on your waist to pull you closer. he’d stroke your clit softly, just to see you completely lose control.
woozi: he’d try to keep it together, but his voice is cracking with every moan. “you’re fucking crazy when you’re ovulating,” he’d mutter, barely able to keep up with how desperate you are. he’s thrusting up into you harder, just to make sure you get exactly what you want, because oyu're his princess and his body is completely yours—yeah, the muscles, everything, all for you.
minghao: he’s into how wild you get during ovulation. moaning louder than usual, but still somehow keeping it together. “you’re really not gonna stop, huh?” he’d pant, smirking even though his cock is twitching from overstimulation. he’d press his thumb into your clit, watching you go absolutely feral, all while whispering about how you can take as much of him as you want. all of this with his head’s thrown back 😩.
mingyu: he’s destroyed at some point, but the second he understands why you're that horny, he’s doing everything to keep you going. “you’re using me like a fucking toy,” he’d gasp, voice shaking from how sensitive he is, but he’s still guiding your hips, making sure you get every inch. he’d talk filthy in your ear, knowing it makes you even hornier.
seokmin: overstimulated as fuck, but he’s still moaning your name, hips bucking into you. “you need me that bad, baby? oh fuck— then use me, use me all you want..” he’d whimper, fingers digging into your hips as you ride him like you’re in heat. he’d rub your clit, even though his hands are shaking, just to make you cum again and again.
seungkwan: he’d be a whimpering mess, but he’s loving how wild you get. “you’re gonna fuckin’ kill me,” he’d groan. seungkwan as an ass lover, he’d grab your ass, slapping it lightly, moaning when you grind harder, telling you he’ll let you use him however you want.
vernon: almost dehydrated, and fucked, but he’s letting you take control. “you really can’t get enough, huh?” he’d murmur, voice shaky as you ride him like you’re desperate. he’d bite his lip, but he’s still grabbing your thighs, pulling you closer, muttering how he’ll give you everything. because you're his everything.
chan: thinks that his cock will fall at some point, but he’s letting you fuck him senseless. “y-you are so wet that it keeps slipping out babe.” he’d pant, his hands gripping your waist as you ride him. he’d rub your clit, pull your hair, kiss you sloppier & slowly, whispering how fucking hot you are when you’re this needy.
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