#and she did and everything was fine and she also loves aj. the end

[thevegetablewhichnoonedaresname]

mission to zyxx episode 301, first listen: wow, I'm really enjoying this podcast! I'm so glad I'm not even halfway done yet. the new orchestral intro was so cool and I can't wait to see what other funny stuff is in store!

mission to zyxx 301, every subsequent listen: (jumping up and down, screaming, wearing one of those hats with the swirly straws, covered in leis and plastic bead necklaces, waving a foam finger and glowsticks, shouting through a megaphone) AJ! AJ! AJ! ARE YOU GUYS SEEING THIS??? HE'S FINALLY HERE!!!!! WOO! AJ! WOOOOO!!!!! JUCK YEAH! THAT'S MY SON AJ! WOOO BABY YEAHHHHH!!! GO AJ GO!!!!!

[boyswhowawa]

Artificer Design!!

Or at least me working on it!!

This is the last drawing I did, and I think it really shows off the design well!!!! I really love this design I came up with, and it's with heavy inspiration from @snickerdoodlesart, so a bit more on that, and the design! under the cut

First things first, the reason I chose to take inspiration from Snickerdoodles' design is, because it's just super fucking rad and gender, ajsd;flkkjas;fkldjadkl;sfja

HOWEVER, I understand completely if taking inspiration like this is not okay, and I would be fine with deleting this design and restarting should you say so, Snickerdoodles, genuinely

regardless, some fun stuff!

first things first, I did some studies of Snickerdoodles' design, just simple ones, because I wanted to figure out what it was that I really felt was so like... fantastic about it???

(the answer ended up being "god everything comes together so well, the shapes and the dynamics of the scars and how the explosive things interact with it all just make for such a wonderful design that is like, the PURE energy of the character it comes from, in such a sincere way that I feel like this IS the character in every facet of what they could be")

but what I learned was that like, I wanted to try to have fun with the scars! so that's what I went for!

So then I started sketching, and I had this idea with the face

I wanted the eye scar to be like, totally bright similarly to Snickersdoodles' (admittedly a lot of the face scar comes from snickerdoodles...)

but I knew with some bits *around* the eye I wanted to have these extra little cuts, that sort of just... idk i like doing cheek markings and I thought this was a creative way to do it!! also the eyebrow is just three lines that are sometimes meshed together<3

I really really liked this face, so I keep it going forward

this is the next sketch I did, to figure out where I wanted the scars to be placed!!

this is kind of where I slightly decided I wanted Arti's head kind of hunched forward at all times, big huncho boyo, she's great

I also wanted just, a BIG burst spot on their tail, and like...

then I was like "oh i'm gonna finish this sketch actually"

then I--- inked on the wrong layer. aj;sdlkfja;klsdfjakl;j

so it got stuck like this and I couldn't do anything about it....

I think when I do color my arti properly again, I wanna have it lean over to a reddish dark purple rather than this

also i think the cherry bomb thing being like woven into the spear cloth was too much, and doesn't really work for arti's bomb spears ?

i just messed up a lot, basically

Oh! Also this is where I was like "oh I can put extra little light spots in Arti's scars...."

then I did this to sort of vaguely show what an explosion from Arti might look like, or more accurately, Artificer 'Igniting', rather than just doing bursts, I imagine this Arti revving up and just being extremely hot for a while, letting out bursts of energy still, but not able to do it as easily from a neutral, unignited state

this was SO fun to do, using pink and yellow is really fun when i'm trying to do something with strong energy

this also is where I feel I figured out everything I felt I needed to still figure out with the design, the scar placements, the scar styles, the shapes I wanted, etc. etc.

and then finally, I did a sort of pseudo ref for Arti!

and while I am super happy with this, and super proud

more importantly than that, I want to be sure that this is *okay* with Snickerdoodles, it wouldn't be right of me to just, steal things from your design for my own sake, and it's not like I'm starving for design ideas, I can probably think something else up if I try hard enough, so there'd be no harm done, and if you're at all uncomfortable with me taking inspiration like this, just let me know as soon as you can

[commenter2]

"Absolute End" review (Murder Drones finale)

After almost 3 years since the first episode, we are sadly at the end of Murder Drones. SPOILERS!

I thought the finale would be longer, at least the same length as the previous episode.

Gravity is acting up and massive earthquakes are happening, which I bet the drones can handle BUT UZI GETTING AN A-, that is a sign that the world is ending.

Even at the end of the world, the Teacher Drone is just done with everything.

Is CYN pulling a Dead Space 3?

Again the Teacher is just done.

So how did Uzi get into space exactly? Last episode had her falling down to the hole in the church to the planet’s core, did gravity and the Absolute Solver program cause her to go straight through the planet and fly into space?

Smart thinking on the writers here having Uzi and her mom be able to control space rocks, as they such things do have metal in them.

New feature for screen faces, they can use it to communicate if there isn’t any sound.

How is Uzi’s mom finding all the space for her words? :3

A nice mother/daughter moment, also Uzi has a parental lock XD.

Of course Uzi’s mom still has her iPod XD

Who is that! Whoever that is, let’s just hope Uzi’s mom doesn’t survive planetary re-entry

N! Wait how was he able to get to a ship so fast?

PILOT N! Wait does he remember how to fly that thiAPPARENTLY HE IS STILL REMEMBERING!

Wait are Uzi and N about to ki-SAVED BY THE VILLAIN! Ehh I was kind of hoping for Uzi X Thad and N X V to become canon but this is fine too...for now but more on that later. At least Uzi is still herself, though I question anyone who wouldn’t want to hug N.

It is still funny that the bus is also sentient in this series.

V! And of course she was able to tame one of the raptors.

“character not interested in epic battle that is occurring” trope.

GET THAT BRATTY TEEN DRONE ROBO DINO! I never thought I would ever say that.

Khan T posing XD

Clever robo girl! Wait didn’t I already use that?

Uzi would have been so proud hearing V use her catchphrase, especially on J of all drones.

Uzi can make blast that can go through planets. Write that down Death Battle fans.

(Uzi and CYN fighting)

J; Want to get out of here?

V: Why?

CYN just caught Uzi attack like its nothing.

The world ending threat still loves a fool after all this time. Have I mentioned how great this show is?

Look at them protecting each other!

HOLY CRAP UZI!

Crap CYN is going pissed off yandere on N!

Okay we got it, N X Uzi is canon.

While nice to see V showing love for N, it was kind of a coward move of her to try and work with CYN/Absolute Solver again at this point.

Heh, I guess CYN has parental controls too XD.

Doorman with the universal door remote FTW!

Okay that was a dumb move on Thad’s part. Guess he just assumed Uzi was nearby given he has seen her around the Disassembly Drones every time they met.

(Uzi and V smile at each other)

MK ANNOUNCER: FRIENDSHIP!

An old time iPod in the future can survive the reentry of a planet, yet iPhones can’t survive a small fall from one’s hand to the ground without cracking in half.

According to the subtitles the song playing is AJ Dispirito song called “BiteMe”. Is this where Uzi got her catchphrase? Seeing how her mom acts, I wouldn’t be surprised if she sang that song as a lullaby to baby Uzi. The song is really good.

Friendly fire on CYN’s part. Then again if they can regenerate, is it really that bad?

(Me seeing Uzi stabbing N with pickaxe)

Yami Yugi voice: It’s not him!

N has a valid point, nice to see him getting his heart ripped out and almost eaten by his yandere stalker didn’t mess up his lovable personality.

Cheap move with the puppy dog eyes CYN. Then again it is canon that all dogs are immortal, so N could have attacked her without fear of killing any digital dogs.

NOW ISN’T A GOOD TIME TO BE MAKING THAT SPECIAL HANDSHAKE UZI AND N XD.

Now Uzi is just learning to tell apart holograms form the real thing! Admittedly that is a bit cheesy, but at least it led to that epic scene of her ripping out the CYN’s heart Mortal Kombat style.

Finally its OVE- what is that?

That fight scene must have been so expensive that they had to cut the color budget!

ZA WARUDO

I’m getting flashbacks to the Death Battle episode “Starscream vs. Rainbow Dash”.

So is eating the "Solver heart" going to make Uzi the new Absolute Solver master? Horror is one of the themes of this series, and “monster still being alive” is the genres most known tropes. Guess we’ll find out in the next 5 minutes.

Kind of hard to read the text coming up on Uzi’s face near the end. I can see NULL, escaped_data=sent, escaped_data=str_replace [arry] and escaped_data=str_replace[global entites]. This sounds like it isn’t the end of CYN and her Absolute Solver control.

Who knew Thad was a skater! Also where did he get that skateboard? Still nice to see him being nice, even if its towards Lizzy.

Khan and Nori are going to meet. Okay THAT scene was hilarious, and that “kind of hot” line XD.

The Teacher survived, still not wanting to get involved in anything XD.

A robot raptor riding a sentient bus. Thank god the Jurassic Park movies are done as I feel like that franchise would try and do something dumb like that in their movies.

Uzi is very far from where she was a second ago. Again what is up with teleporting in this series?

So Uzi is the new absolute solver master. Luckily she doesn’t want to kill everything like CYN wanted. Then again it’s pretty much confirmed that all humans are dead so what else can she do, kill the worker drones?

Was that a Gaz Membrane reference in the “I’m not solved” pic. Also the pic file is labeled as “nothing”, which makes me wonder if the writers are again telling us that there won’t be any more episodes. Again more on that at the end.

The Heroes journey pic. Wait is that text a refence to when Game Theory did an episode where they used said Heroes’ Journey pic to theorize what was going to happen?

So are the others drones not going to find a way to cure N, V, and likely Uzi’s need to drink drone oil?

Doll is still dead. Odd to bring that clip up, but fitting with this show's humor.

N is pretty good at manga art. Also again nice seeing V being the one in love with N.

I wonder if there was going to be a difference between Uzi’s purple colored power and her yellow colored one. I guess we will never know.

During the credits we see: J is still alive and building a ship, likely to get back to JCJensonINSPAAAAACEE!!!!! HQ

N and Uzi hanging out with Khan and Nori (does Khan know it is her?) at door security. Is that really necessary now that nearly every serious baddie is dead?

A hint at the possibility of CYN still being alive. That or its Tessa’s ghost.

The Murder Drones are still killing drones for oil

A Murder Drones anime drawn in the same art style as Liam Vickers other works, like the underrated Cliffside pilot.

Lizzy being nice and holding a funeral for Doll. Thad your kindness is wasted on her.

V wearing N’s hat and playing chess against the raptor and the robo bug, which I totally forgot about. Looks like the raptor made peace with Lizzy too.

A callback to the 2nd episode with the robopede.

Hologram Uzi?

CYN IS THE TAIL! Personally I never did like the tail design, so it’s a good excuse to get rid of it now.

Cliffhanger ending. VERY FITTING FOR THIS SERIES! ALSO I KIND OF CALLED IT.

A very entertaining ending to a series that I wouldn’t mind getting a sequel series one day BUT has given me enough closure that I can be happy if it never does. Then again in this era of media you never know.

Sure it would have been nice if the show had been a few episodes longer, going over more things like dealing with other kinds of Disassembly Drones (something I was hoping to see since the very beginning) and more moments of unique character interactions like Uzi and Thad as well as N and V regaining their memories together.

Now that the series is over (again maybe for now) I wonder what Liam Vickers will work on next. PLEASE let him go back to work on his Cliffside series, as that has a lot of potential. After seeing how good he is at 3D animation, imagine what he can do with a 2Dish show like Cliffside! Seriously people go watch the Cliffside pilot when you can.

What were your thoughts on the Murder Drones finale?

[spacedlexi]

Would love to hear u talk more about Clem and Minnie mirroring one another if u haven’t already 🦅

i have Not >:) cracks knuckles

talking about minnie can be hard since she Really only exists in eps 3 and 4. eps 1 and 2 keep the twins pretty mysterious we only learn a few things about them. i think the most important thing we know about them tho is that they (or at least minnie) provided a sense of relief for the ericson kids. tenn saying how minnie would sing them "dont be afraid" when they were feeling scared. i think its safe to assume she wrote the song Specifically to have a way to make the other kids feel better when things were rough

when the twins die the kids lose this emotional support and we can tell its been hard on all of them (some more than others). but then in comes clementine. our girl whos been carrying the "light in the darkness" motif since season 1. and although she got that shit a little dirty in seasons 2 and 3 (ava going off in s3 about how clem and aj are light and hope and shit so we're still supposed to see it (and recognize that clem has become so Dark in s3 without aj)), she got her light back when she got aj back and she'll die protecting him

clem (and aj) fall very quickly into the hole the twins left. now its clem who makes them feel safe. first with finding them food then protecting them against the raiders ("youre our savior clem" "we were more scared than we let on when you met us. you made that go away"). its not an accident theyre put up in the twins room. and with the way violet grabs the frame and looks at it sadly we can even assume clem sleeps in minnies old bed (also the old torn down paintings seem to only be on ajs side of the room and hes got his whole "i wanna be an artist too" thing going on). clem has unintentionally taken on minnies old role of making the kids feel safe and reassured

then we finally meet minnie. and based on how the others described her there is definitely a piece of herself that shes lost (that shes killed). her light is gone now. and although her motivations have been warped, they remain the same. i do genuinely believe she is still trying to protect the ericson kids and do whats best for them, but just in the only way she thinks she can to stop more people from dying. she might even think the pros of living with the delta are worth the cons. clementine is the one teaching them to fight back but minnie knows from experience that fighting back just gets you killed, so she feels like if she can just stop clementine then everything will be fine ("youre the FUCKING problem here" "i wont let you get them all killed" and she does seem genuinely concerned if clem and vi are fighting in the cell. and obviously we know she doesnt want anything to happen to tenn). both minnie and clem want to protect the ericson kids they just have conflicting opinions about which is the right way to do it. but minnie Does show her ass when she ends her "if you just do what they say you can live" speech with "you can be rewarded just like i am" 👀 oh girl... she didnt just give up she gave in. killing sophie was her breaking point and i really wish we knew more about how that scene went down outside of lillys dramatic retelling i would like to see it objectively please. but based on the way lilly tells it, minnie (im sure begrudgingly) accepted her place at the delta before it even came to that, and was probably just pulled along by sophie when she tried to escape. which is probably why (im assuming) lilly gave her the choice to kill sophie to stay with the delta (her New family), and she did... she kills a piece of herself when she does this (only compounded by the twin imagery), and i think her seeing clem fight back reminds her of sophie and brings all those feelings to the surface. and if she can just kill clem everything will be ok, cuz it worked last time....

minnie singing "dont be afraid" when attacking them on the bridge. a song that once brought them peace now being used to herald death. but since she approaches already singing it she was probably singing it to soothe herself as she succumbs to her bite, walking away from the wreckage she blames on clem, her delta family dead (she Did care about them in a fucked up way), using a herd of walkers against them the same way clem used a herd of walkers to attack the boat. all minnie cares about at this point is finding tenn, and she does, and shes gonna take him with her. just like clem looking for aj, finding him, and taking him. but where clem would die to protect aj, minnie wants to kill tenn to take him "home" with her. add to this ajs feelings about ending up alone without clem and wanting to be walkers together if it came to it. this is why tenn dying on the bridge feels narratively fulfilling to me even tho i hate it 😭 tenn wants to be with minnie (and sophie and their parents) and death doesnt scare him. it kinda comforts him. him and minnie dying together here is like the dark fate clem and aj barely avoid

and then vi fitting into this as she became tenns caretaker after the twins left. she also wants whats best for him so her and minerva fighting at the end for tenn is interesting. especially since violet (and louis but he wasnt tenns caretaker the way vi was) can die throwing him over the gap. i like the layers violet adds to being in the bridge scene, and it makes it even more sad when she cant protect him because thats all shes been trying to do since before clem and aj even showed up. plus aj shooting tenn puts violet in a similar position to louis in regards to marlons death

i really love the ways violets route adds to all the minnie and tenn stuff. and the way we can see clems influence change her. how a saved violet is ready to fight with clem but a kidnapped violet believes in minnies goals and thinks giving up is the safest plan for everyone. because regardless if you save her or not violet ALSO wants to keep the ericson kids safe and just doesnt know the best way to do it. clem encourages violet to step up and minnie encourages violet to give up (warping her character growth which is why i cant Not save her 😭 and the betrayal of it all). using violet as a common denominator is another way to differentiate between clem and minnie. then throw the romance on top of that.... you can see why i get a little...Sillay.. this is ALSO why i dont like vinerva in any romantic capacity post the events of ep3 and why i love seeing vi with clem. its what they each encourage in her. minnies weakness, clems strength.... why seeing vi and minnie fight clem makes me want to cry but seeing clem and vi fight minnie makes me jump off the walls LETS GOOO

and i havent even talked about lilly yet.... how if lee took lilly up on her offer in S1 about stealing the RV together clem couldve ended up in her custody.... i definitely believe clem looks at minnie and sees some broken scared part of herself in there. she is Fiercely Loyal and would do anything for her family so if she was raised (or broken) in that environment (and it seems very "ends justify the means" with the delta as it sounds like its actually pretty good over there if you can look past the intimidation and torture and kidnapping) i could definitely see her being the one standing behind lilly in some other universe. its what lilly still tries to do with her but its too late (and so lilly tries it with aj instead which is still a way to get to clem). but clems grown now and shes been making her own choices for a long time. shes already been through this with the new frontier (and hell even with carver at howes). she'd die before she gave in. and minnie made the choice to kill her sister to save herself

even with the little info we actually have on minnie she still works pretty well as a foil to clem. this is why i find it easier to talk about minnie when comparing her to clem like i feel like its her main purpose. i feel like theres still more i could say its just eluding me. its not a coincidence that minnie almost takes clem down with her in the end. why shes the reason clems able to get bit. minnie blames clem for her own demise and she's gonna get in one last fuck you. and minnies fate is one clem is desperately trying to avoid. kinda 👀 to be taken down by your narrative foil

[unitchiefs-blackbirdphoenix]

I really hate that Jeid Story line.

And not just bc it's literally pulled out of the air. But also because they've ruin the picture of their friendship. I know their friendship is discussed much but this is just a matter of principle for me. The fandom knows (even if not everyone sees them as that close) that they are best friends. It's implied, they say it and it's shown. So WHY ruin that?!

There are always so many discussions about that a man and a woman can't be best friends, someone will always want more and all that crap. But they made it happened. They could've been around with eachother, could tease eachother and could get over difficult times with eachother. They fight and they have made up again after some time. Bc that's how friendships works. And ngl I really liked their friendship. Even when they weren't getting along (but not the arguments in their fight in s7!!!) bc that's also happens in friendships. And then they ruind it with JJ having feelings for Spencer?! The guy she always saw as a little brother?! They guy with who she could have gone on a date with but turned it into something that she, him AND Garcia went to?! (And about that it really like they forgot about their own plot. Like, if she would've really had feelings for him why woukd she ruin her chance to have a date with him? Thatw as just crap.)

Why ruin the picture of their friendship for a three ep plot?! They forced it so much and theb ruind everything that happened that happened afterwards. All their later interactions were shadowed by this one unnecessary love confession. They could've done everything else with JJ. she could have dropped the bombshell that she and Will broke up if they wanted to play it that way or it's complicated between them. But why this bs with Spencer? Why him?!

Yes! I don’t personally see them as even “best friends” but I agree that it should be fine that a man and a woman can be friends/best friends without some sort of weird sexual or romantic tension between them. And JJ for sure has always seen him as a little brother, and Reid’s feelings honestly seemed more one-sided throughout the show.

And for some reason, the writers were up their asses with the story from Hamelin (14x12). Erica Messer (showrunner) didn’t approve it at first bc she said they were like siblings, until the writers convinced her it will work and she ended up greenlighting it. And of course, you have MGG who loves the idea and was excited for it whereas AJ absolutely hated it bc it would ruin her character, and she’s very protective of JJ. AJ literally admitted she had to be “talked down the ledge” for the jeid storyline to happen, and still gets anxious thinking about what the writers did.

[queen-scribbles]

 #I'm gonna CRY #the GENTLENESS #the YEARNING #there's so MUCH they're not saying and like they KNOW but #and now I'm wondering when exactly Adam started carrying a first aid kit #did anyone notice? did he try to brush it off as practical? (of course he did) #I'm fine I'm fine I'm Normal about all of this #gonna keep feeling things about this au until the end of time bye (captainofthefallen)

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHI'm fine this is fine I'm so normal about themthe callback to 'what if we don't break?' and everything they aren't saying and adam carrying a first aid kit when his team is 4/5 vampiresthey CARE SO MUCH and they know it but it's not enough (yet) but also they can't help but be drawn to each other 😭😭this is so gentle and sad and sweet and I'm dying 💀(also I love seeing the differences between mallory and aj and kira in regards to their post-book 3 relationship with adam)(haledamage)

(Glad to see I am not alone in the insanity this AU drives me to🙃💀)

Listen. LISTEN. The inherent, eternal optimism of "what if we don't break?" is so perfectly AJ it makes me scream internally and die a thousand deaths. The "What if it's great instead of awful?", what if it's worth it, what if this Worst you're always planning for never comes and we WASTE THIS?! Especially in response to Adam's "I am not strong enough to be broken again" when his Thing on the team is leadership and STRENGTH. This is what he fears will be Too Much, he's not Strong Enough for if this ends badly. (Also ALSO ALSO that he says "I am not strong enough and AJ says "what if WE don't break" bc he's thinking in terms of toughing it out on his own and she's saying No Actually, We're In This TOGETHER. We Are A Team, du Mortain. Yeah. Can you tell that exchange wrecked me almost as much as the Mason Shower Scene? :) ) It's gonna be v hard to do post book 3 stuff for them that doesn't invoke a callback to that bc it's just. YEAH.

There's definitely a gentleness to AJ/Adam(esp on his end) that's lacking in Mallory/Adam for obvious reasons but ALSO bc with AJ he's so blown away by her genuine care and sweetness and knows how rare that is bc 900 years of interacting with people has TAUGHT HIM how rare it is and he wants to protect that, keep it safe from everything even him and AUUUGGHHHHH And AJ is so sad for him that whatever happened, whatever he lost, hurt him so deeply that he's this scared of it happening again, with her. They both know there's Something There. They both WANT to do something about it, but Adam is too afraid of losing her, of being broken, and AJ doesn't want to press forward until they're doing it together(She Will Convince Him. She is water wearing away rock and just as patient)

Does it make it better or worse wrt the first aid kit that I kinda h/c he starts carrying that regardless of if he's romanced/bff or not bc he's Adam "preparedness is a virtue" du Mortain, and it's just how it's utilized that changes based on his relationship with MC? Like, if you're not bffs/romancing he'd just hand it over and asks if you want help(at which point your LI or bff could step in, if present) + there's a lecture on Being Careful if he does help you. BFF gets lecture + Snark about you being careful bc you aren't invincible(that would be fun with Kasey :P) and romanced gets some variation of like AJ.

(also I love seeing the differences between mallory and aj and kira in regards to their post-book 3 relationship with adam)

Do you want me to ramble about AJ/Adam vs Mallory/Adam and how they're gonna play out post-bk3, Rhi? bc that's how you get to ramble about AJ/Adam vs Mallory/Adam and how they're gonna play out post-bk3

[beevean]

If you're still doing the 5 characters prompt...

Mia Fey, Gregory Edgeworth, Phoenix Wright, Apollo Justice, and Athena Cykes

5) Apollo. Dunno, aside form his finale in SOJ, I never vibed with the guy. He's fine. I played AJ ages ago and wasn't impressed, so maybe that soured my perception...

4) Athena. She's cute and with a legit disturbing trauma! Yay! She's only penalized by the games not allowing her to take actually important cases, which is a shame, because I'm all for a female attorney with the spunk of an assistant.

3) Gregory Edgeworth. I2-3 is the stuff of legends. My man is very down to earth, and that makes him stand out in the colorful cast of AA. He's calm yet sharp and determined, until the bitter end. And he loved his son so much.

2) Mia. I made a whole post about her :P

1) Phoenix. The man of all time. I do think Ryuu is an improvement over everything Phoenix did, but the original is always the original. He's determination and faith incarnate, ever since he was a child: pretty much the superhero of lawyers. Also he's funny as hell lol.

[briamichellewrites]

8 - Bria’s Version

February 23, 2000. Bria had so much fun at the Grammys! She brought her camera to take pictures to remember the night. After performing in a packed arena, she was able to enjoy herself without being distracted by the thoughts in her head. She was seated next to Jon Bon Jovi, who introduced himself and his wife, Dorothea. Hi, I’m Bria. On the outside, she appeared calm. Inside, she was freaking out because she had a huge crush on Jon! Bon Jovi was also her favorite band.

She noticed how many of her favorite bands and artists were there. One of whom was the Backstreet Boys. She was going to try to talk to at least one of them at the after-party! Jon asked her if Bria Michelle was her real name. It was her first and middle name. Her full name was Bria Michelle Johnson. He had never heard of the name of Bria. It was unique. It was. She agreed.

People thought it was short for either Brianne or Brianna. Nope, just Bria. Who was she there with? It was just herself. She was going to bring her friends as her dates but they had other plans. That was fine. She didn’t mind being there by herself. He pointed out her hair. Did she do that or did she go to a salon? She did it herself with a cheap kit she found at Target. It was more of an experiment than anything. He didn’t know what to make of it. She loved doing different things with her hair.

She was always dyeing it crazy colors. It was pink, blonde, black, and now black with neon green. What was her natural hair color? It was light brown. She got in trouble for dyeing it pink and she got suspended for a week because of it. He told her to enjoy being young because before she knew it, her hair would be grey. She would.

Once her hair grew out, she was going to let it go back to its natural color to give it a break. That way, she didn’t damage her hair. That was a very good idea. A lot of people mentioned her hair. It was the most interesting thing they had ever seen and they used it as a conversation starter. During the after-party, she was approached by AJ McLean of the Backstreet Boys. He also noticed her hair and he asked how she did it. She explained how she did it at home.

What other colors did she dye her hair? Pink, blonde, and black. What about red? She had yet to dye her hair red, that she could remember. The next time he saw her, she might have a different hair color. Maybe neon pink or something.

He suggested neon blue. She would take it under consideration. He laughed. They ended up exchanging phone numbers to hang out. After sitting down, she noticed Brad had texted her. He had seen her on television performing. First off, she had done a wonderful job! Second, what the hell did she do with her hair? She laughed and replied to him.

Oh my god. Thank you! I was so nervous! Haha, I’ll have to show you the next time I see you. It’s literally a conversation starter. My friends freaked out when they saw it! Anyway, I’ll show you the next time I see you. – Bria

You are adorable. – Brad

She was able to talk to Britney Spears, Shania Twain, Elton John, Faith Hill, and her husband, Tim McGraw; Whitney Houston, and Gloria Estefan. Shania told her to not get caught up in fame and to stay humble. She promised she would. Did she have a support system behind her? Yes, she did. She had a great group of friends, who would call her out on her bs. Good. She was happy to hear that. It was easy to get lost in everything and forget where you came from.

That’s what she was learning. They exchanged phone numbers and she was told to call her if she needed anything. She would. Thank you. Gloria Estefan gave her the same advice, as did Tim McGraw and Faith Hill. Thank you. They heard her single. What made her decide on country music? She wanted to tell stories, like Bruce Springsteen. Her writing style also fit into country music.

Did she write her own songs? She did. When she was in foster care, she stayed with a couple. He had a personal studio and he taught her how to play the piano and write songs. The guys who helped her with her album, allowed her to experiment with different styles and sounds. He jokingly asked her about writing songs about trucks. No, no offense but she didn’t have any interest in writing about trucks. He laughed and told her he wasn’t offended.

“I like to joke that my personality is country goth with a side of punk rock. Kind of a Johnny Cash outlaw rebel.”

“We need a rebel in country music. You can be that rebel for us.”

“That would be awesome!”

Was she just a rebel by nature? Pretty much. She just did whatever she wanted, even if it wasn’t popular. Everyone who met her thought she came across as friendly, funny, and humble. She also had a magnetic personality and she was able to hold conversations with people like they were old friends. They could see a long career for her because she had the talent and personality to be successful. Before she left, she almost ran into Bruce Springsteen and his wife, Patti.

They both told her what a great job she did performing. Thank you! After having a conversation about her hair, they talked about her song. Did she write it? She did. Patti thought it was heartbreaking. What was the backstory, if it was okay to ask. Yeah.

“At the time, I was in foster care and I was fed up with moving. When you’re in the system, you move around constantly. I just wanted to have stability.”

“What about now? Do you have stability?”

“I do. Thank you. I became legally emancipated last year from the system. I have an apartment and a group of friends, who took me in as their little sister.”

“Good. What about your parents?”

She was placed for adoption when she was twenty-four hours old, so she didn’t know anything about her parents. How old was she now? She just had her seventeenth birthday. Was she still in school? No, she dropped out after becoming emancipated. She had learning difficulties, which made school very hard for her. So, she didn’t see the point of going anymore.

After finishing their conversation, they hugged her before saying goodbye. She then got her stuff and walked out with everyone leaving the party. It was around two in the morning and she was tired from the long day! It was an awesome experience and she hoped to go back next year. Mike and Anna wanted to know that she got home safely but she figured they were fast asleep when she got home. She decided to text them when she woke up.

Hey, just wanted to let you and Anna know I made it home safely. – Bria

You didn’t just get home now? It’s two in the afternoon. – Mike

Haha no. I got home around three. I just didn’t want to wake you guys up. I just got up. Oh my god! It was so much fun! – Bria

Okay. We will give you a pass. Haha. You will have to tell us all about it next time we see you! – Mike

@zoeykaytesmom @feelingsofaithless @alina-dixon @fiickle-nia @boricuacherry-blog

[just-dreaming-marvel]

It’s Always Been You ~ 149

OUT OF TIME MASTERLIST

IT’S ALWAYS BEEN YOU MASTERLIST

< previous chapter

Word Count: 2,820ish

Summary: Y/N sacrificed herself to end it all. But is she really dead?

Notes: You must read Out Of Time in order to understand this. The chapter numbers continue from Out Of Time.

Once the blinding white light subsided, the heroes all looked around as the enemy quickly turned to dust. Strange let Tony go from his magic hold, the two men watching Y/N collapse onto the ground.

“Y/N!!” Tony cried, rushing over to his wife. As he lifted her up to cradle her in his arms, he noticed the Stones were still seared into her arm and blood was trickling out of her nose and ears. “Honey, come on.”

Steve was the next to notice the scene. “No!” He exclaimed as he ran over, causing others to see as well. “Y/N!” He fell to his knees beside the couple. Tears ran down both mens faces, creating pathways through the dirt and grime covering them.

“She’s not breathing….”

“What?” Bucky gasped, suddenly appearing near them.

“She’s not breathing…” Tony rocked back and forth, Y/N held close. “Don’t do this… please… I can’t— You can’t—“ He sobbed into the base of her limp neck as he clung to her and begged.

Clint was the first to get down on one knee in respect, the other heroes slowly following. Some bowed their heads, others shed tears, but they all felt an immense amount of pain and sorrow. Their hearts cracked a little more each time they heard a sob, whimper, or sniffle from one of the three men that loved Y/N the most.

With a hand on Steve’s shoulder, Bucky collapsed next to his friend. “No…” he cried. “Doll…”

~~~

“Mom!” The boy’s voice was worried. It sounded like it was underwater. “Mom! Wake up!” She groaned as someone began shaking her, still not opening her eyes. “Come on, mom! You did it! Wake up!”

“W-what…?” She rasped. She slowly blinked, trying to get her eyes used to the light and the orange tint around her. When her eyes finally focused on the boy leaned over her, she gasped. “AJ?”

“Hey, mom,” he smiled.

“Where…” Y/N pushed herself up, with AJ’s help. She studied her surroundings. She was at the cabin, laying on the grass. But it wasn’t the cabin. “How did I—“

“You used the Stones. You did it, mom.”

“I did it,” she breathed out.

“Now you have a choice,” the Ancient One’s voice said. AJ and Y/N turned their heads to see Phil, Natasha, and the Ancient One standing there.

“Phil, Natasha?”

“Hey, Y/N,” she greeted. “You did good.”

“You did,” the Ancient One agreed. “And now the Stones have given you a choice.”

AJ helped Y/N to her feet. “What kind of choice?” She asked.

“Whether to stay here or go back… there are consequences, good and bad for either choice.”

“I can’t make that call,” she shook her head. “I have family—children on either side of that equation. Why are they giving me a choice?”

“Because your journey is not over with the Stones, but they want it to be up to you.”

“What do you mean?”

“If you choose to go back, you will be granted certain abilities. That you will not need the Stones to use. You will not be as powerful as you are when you channel all the Stones, but you will still be very powerful.”

“And if I stay?”

“Your daughter would lose her mother and your husband, his wife. The whole team would be affected. But, there are many significant events that would still play out. They will just be harder—longer, without your help.”

“Mom,” AJ tugged on her hand, turning Y/N’s attention to him. “If you’re worried about me, I’ll be fine. I have Uncle Phil, Auntie Nat, Grandma and Grandpa Rogers and Stark!”

“Stark? Like… Howard?”

“Yes.” The boy nodded. “He didn’t want to be here just incase he could be a distraction. Said something like you always had a thing for Starks.”

Y/N laughed. “He wishes.” She took a deep breath and looked around. This would be a hard decision either way, but she knew what she had to do. She looked at her son before looking back at the Ancient One. “How much time do I have?”

“You have until they take the Stones back,” the Ancient One responded.

“Okay,” she nodded. Y/N gazed down at her son, grabbing his hand. “How about we go for a walk AJ?”

~~~

“Tony,” Rhodey gently called, coming to a stop a foot or to away from the three men. “We need to get her to a hospital. Or home.”

The man shook his head. “I’m not letting go of her,” Tony replied. “And I— I can’t… Morgan needs her mother.”

“She also needs her father.”

“Mr. Stark?” Peter called, coming up beside Rhodey. It was clear that he had been crying as well. “You don’t have to let her go… you—you can carry her the whole way.”

“They have a point, Tony,” Steve agreed through the tears. “We need to get her and the Stones out of the open, just in case.”

“They asked too much of her,” Tony mumbled as he continued to rock. “Too damn much…”

Steve stood up and walked around to help Tony stand, Bucky joining him. Tony didn’t resist, standing and fixing Y/N’s position in his arms. The other heroes watched, their hearts breaking further as they realized how limp Y/N truly was. But upon further observation, Wanda noticed something.

“She’s being preserved,” she whispered.

“What was that Wanda?” Clint asked, standing beside her.

“She’s dead, but she’s being preserved. Her coloring is too normal.”

“Are you saying there’s a chance we could bring her back?” Sam asked, joining them.

“Not we,” Wanda shook her head. Her eyes were glued to Y/N as she was carried away. “It’s all her… it’s all up to her…”

~~~

AJ lead Y/N around, talking her here off about anything and everything. And she was enjoying every minute of it. Eventually, the two came to a stop at the edge of the pier. They sat down, letting their feet touch the water.

“AJ… You know I love you, right?” Y/N nervously said.

“Yes,” he answered with confidence.

“And that I would never want to leave you?”

“Mom,” AJ looked at her, firmly, “you need to go. Morgan, Dad, Uncle Steve, and Uncle Bucky need you more than I do. I’ll be fine.”

“Uncle Bucky?” Y/N chuckled.

“He’ll be okay, mom. He will… Bucky understands that he kept you waiting too long, too many times.”

She pulled the boy into her side, kissing the top of his head. “You’re so much stronger and wiser than me… I love you. So very much.”

AJ hugged his mother. “I love you too.” 

~~~

Happy and Pepper immediately sensed that something was wrong when the quinjet landed and Rhodey was the first one out. He walked to the house and simply asked them to keep Morgan away from any of the windows and the garage. They didn’t question it, already knowing they weren’t ready for any answers that may come.

Rhodey went straight to the garage, Bucky and Steve joining him. They cleared off desks and tables, putting them together. Steve grabbed blankets and a pillow, laying them out on the large table they created. FRIDAY then informed Tony that he was clear to bring Y/N in. Bruce was with him as Tony carried Y/N in, having noticed how much the man was trembling. Bruce was scared that he’d have to carry two bodies in.

Tony gently laid Y/N on the table. He began pulling a blanket up to her chest, pausing when he noticed the Stones still seared into his wife’s arm. He clenched his teeth and let out an angry, grief-filled cry. Tony raised his hand had shot around the room, everyone having to duck.

“Tony!” / “Shit!” / “Woah!”

“Tony, you need to—“

“Daddy?”

Everyone froze at the little voice. Tony was breathing heavily  as he clenched his eyes closed, unable to turn himself around and face his daughter. Morgan was being held by Happy, clinging to his neck as she stared at Tony’s back. The others quickly moved so that Y/N’s body was blocked from Morgan’s view.

“Get her out of here, Hap,” Rhodey ordered. “We’ll all be in soon.”

“No, Daddy,” Morgan pushed. “Where’s mom?”

Tears cascaded down Tony’s cheeks as he thought about having to tell his daughter that she had lost both her auntie Nat and her mother in the same day. Steve, trying to hold strong, quickly took control of the situation.

“How about we going inside, Mo?” Steve suggested, stepping up. He was still all dirty from the battle. “I’ll hurry and clean up while you and Pepper get dinner situated. I’ll come join you after.”

“But dad—“

“You’re dad… He just needs a moment. Okay? He’ll be in soon too.”

Though a bit hesitant to, Morgan agreed. Steve let out a sigh a relieve before following Happy back inside. He couldn’t fall apart, not when Tony and Morgan needed him. 

“You should get out of the suit, Tony,” Rhodey said. “Get cleaned up.”

“I…” Tony spoke quietly, still not opening his eyes. “I can’t tell her… I can’t bare to see her face about Nat. I can’t imagine telling her about—about Y/N…”

“You won’t have to do it alone.” Rhodey set a hand on Tony’s shoulder. “Come on, let’s get you cleaned up."

~~~

“You shouldn’t have done what you did,” Y/N told Natasha as they walked allow the edge of the lake together.

“If I hadn’t, we wouldn’t have gotten everything back,” she responded. “It was worth it.”

“As long as you believe so… Morgan will be devastated, so will the Bartons.”

“They’ll mourn, you all will. But it will make you all stronger. Individually and together.”

Y/N grabbed Nat’s hand and stopped her. “You are the sister I always wanted. You were always there for me, basically since I left the ice. Thank you.”

“Oh, Y/N,” Natasha wrapped Y/N up, pulling her close. “Thank you.”

“I’ll keep your memory alive.”

“You better. And I’ll keep an eye on AJ. He’s a great kid.”

“I know… I only wish that I had more to do with that."

~~~

Everything around him was muted. Color, light, sound. Everything, as Tony finished dressing himself after his shower. He didn’t want to believe it—he couldn’t. Y/N could not be gone. Not his wife… After everything they had survived—she had survived. How was he now suppose to go on without her? How was he suppose to help his daughter do the same?

A soft knock sounded on the bedroom door, before Pepper peeked her head in.

“Tony?” She called. “I’m just checking in on you. Do you need anything?”

“Where’s Morgan?” Tony’s horse voice was quiet as exited the bathroom.

“Downstairs with Steve, Bruce, Happy, and Rhodey. They’re putting dinner together.”

“Where’d Barnes go?”

The redhead sighed. “He won’t leave Y/N’s side.” Tony inhaled sharply as his eyes closed. “Tony…” Pepper slowly made his way over to him. “What do you want to do?”

“I want… I want my wife back… I want Morgan to have her mother…” A tear slipped through his closed eyes. “And I— I would do anything to trade her places…”

“I wish that I could bring her back, I really do, Tony. And I know that you need time to grief, but Morgan needs her father. She’s confused and those men downstairs keep staring at her with pity. She’s smart and has started questioning it.” Pepper moved so that she was standing in front of Tony. “Just go down and hold her.”

“I need to see Y/N first.”

“Okay. Let’s go then."

~~~

“Why must we always say goodbye?” Y/N asked Coulson as they sat on the steps of the cabin.

“I don’t know,” Phil answered. “But it seems like we always say hello again.”

“It does,” she nodded. “Thank you for taking care of AJ.”

“He’s a good kid. Though, too much like you and Tony.” He chuckled. “Always finding some way to get into trouble.”

“And you’re always there to help get him out of it, I’m sure.” Y/N laughed. “Some things never change.” She sighed as she moved closer and rested her head on his shoulder. “Are the others okay?”

“They’re great… they miss us though, that much is clear.”

“I miss them too.”

“I check on them every once and awhile. They’ve all gone on their separate ways, but they’re still a team. They’re still our team.”

“Always.”

~~~

Bucky couldn’t bare to leave Y/N’s side. Not like this. Never like this. It wasn’t suppose to be her. She had a daughter, a husband. For a few moments, he let himself hold her hand and cry. But then be decided to put himself to use. Bucky found a few towels and wet them. Gently, he cleaned off any skin he could see, being extremely careful around the Stones still imbedded in her arm.

He then brushed her hair out. Bucky couldn’t stand the thought of Morgan seeing her mother untidy. Tony entered the room not too long later. The men stayed on opposite sides, focusing on the woman in the middle.

“I forgive you,” Tony said quietly. Bucky’s head snapped up to look at Stark, who was still focused on Y/N.

“Wh-what?” Bucky stammered. “H-how… I… I killed your parents…”

“Trust me. I tried to hold it against you, and Steve for keeping the secret… But… Y/N… she never held it against you. Even though it was Howard. She never did.”

“I don’t deserve your forgiveness.”

“Don’t say that too loud. Y/N might come back and smack some sense into you…”

“I wish she would… She, uh… we ran into each other before the fight… I know that it was always going to be you. You’re good for her.”

Tony scoffed. “No I’m not. She’s too good for me.”

“That might be true,” Bucky nodded. “Your, uh, your daughter… she’s pretty.”

“She is. You know, Barnes, we don’t have to make small talk. We can just sit here and wish for her to wake up, together.”

“Good, cause I was running out of things to say.” Tony sat down. “Thank you though… for forgiving me… I’m still working on forgiving myself for it all…”

“You’re welcome.”

~~~

Coulson, Natasha, AJ, the Ancient One, and Y/N were all gathered together in front of the cabin.

“I guess this is it then,” Y/N said, nodding as she tried not to cry. “I don’t want to have to say good-bye to y’all again.”

“It’s not good-bye, mom,” AJ smiled. “We’ll see each other again.”

“You’re right… you’re always right. I love you, my son. I’ll see you—“

“You think you can leave without me actually making an appearance?” A voice came from behind Y/N.

She gasped, slowly turning around. “Howard?”

“Hey, Y/N,” he stepped forward. He was young, the Howard that Y/N was most used to. “Seems like my favorite Rogers is still getting into trouble.”

“Always.” They stared at each other for a moment before Y/N brought him into a hug. “Oh, Howard.”

“I remember,” he whispered. “I died and it all came back to me.”

“What?” She pulled away slightly.

“You erased my memory when you appeared in 1970. After I had talked to Tony.”

“You know.”

“I do. Way to not lie to me. You wouldn’t have met Tony without me, for multiple reasons. And I did end up knowing him.”

“I couldn’t lie to you. I just couldn’t tell you the truth either.”

“I understand. I guess I’ll let you go back now. Tony and Morgan need you.”

“Yeah… they do.”

“Can you… uh… can you tell Tony how proud I am of him?”

“Of course.”

Howard leaned forward and pressed a kiss on her cheek. He smiled before he turned around and headed over to a woman standing near a tree not too far off. Y/N knew that must’ve been Maria. She waved, Maria waving back.

“Okay…” Y/N breathed out. “It’s time…”

~~~

“How is she?” Wanda asked, coming into the garage.

“How do you think, Maximoff?” Tony responded, annoyed. “She’s dead.”

“No she’s not.” Both me sat up straighter and looked at Wanda.

“What are you talking about?”

“Haven’t either of you noticed how her body isn’t acting out a normal dead body would?”

The two men shared a look before focusing back on Wanda. “No,” Bucky replied. “We haven’t.”

“Well, the Stones are—“

Y/N gasped, head lurching up before coming back down to the table again. She coughed as she opened her eyes and took in her surroundings.

“Y/N!” The men exclaimed.

“And just when I was beginning to explain it all,” Wanda mumbled.

next chapter >

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[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

Can we take a moment to talk about what a tragic character Minerva is? Y’all know that for the longest time I haven’t been the biggest fan of her, and honestly I’m still not? but I think I might’ve had a breakthrough on why that is. 

Whenever I’ve asked around to see why people find her so appealing or why they consider her their favorite, I’ll get answers like, “she’s such a complex character and she deserved a redemption arc!” or “she should’ve come back to the school with us! Let Minnie be happy, you cowards! Telltale did her dirty! I could write paragraph after paragraph about her!” all sorts of things along those lines… but like, no one seems to want to actually talk about her. I find that interesting? Since when I do follow up with a “care to explain further?” I get nothing. Radio static. Like…. no, talk to me please, I just wanna understand-

Minerva within the context of TFS is such a tragedy. She grew up in a school for troubled youth where all the adults left them for death at the start of the breakout, they had walkers trying to eat the living all around them, and I’m sure she saw her fair share of traumatic violence and despair… but on the bright side, she always had her twin sister, Sophie, and little brother, Tenn. She had her friend and eventual girlfriend, Violet. She had music, and a dorm full of pretty paintings done by Sophie. She and Louis composed a song together to make everyone feel better. There are worse places to live than the school. 

Then one day she got traded away to a bunch of raiders against her will, having no idea what the hell these people were gonna do to her and Sophie. They were made to be soldiers to fight in a war that had nothing to do with them. The delta fucking broke her. If we’re to believe Lilly’s story about the twins, they started their brainwashing process early on when Sophie was still alive, and it seems like Minerva was easier to control as Sophie was still planning a way out and causing trouble. Then, when Sophie convinced her to steal a boat and get the hell out, they got caught and the delta forced her to murder her own twin sister. 

Like…. I’m sorry, not only did Minerva kill her own sister, but she was made to believe that was the right thing to do? That line she says about how she had to prove her loyalty to the place she calls home? That shit’s ingrained in her brain, you can tell that isn’t the first time she’s heard or said that very thing. That is what made her family to the delta. Delta is her home now, her family. Sophie was just a thing that needed to be dealt with. You keep your head down, do as you’re told, and you survive.  You survive and you get to go home, eat a hot meal, take a shower, and be with your delta family.  If not, you end up like Sophie.

What’s also fucked is that Minerva actually cares about these people now. Think about that. After everything they did to her and made her do, she’s been trained to see them as her family and obey. When you save Louis and he kills Dorian, Minerva actually cries out and is visibly hurt by her death. When she’s with the other raiders on land, she's screaming at walkers to get away from them. She cares about the people who made her kill Sophie… and no one ever talks about that??

She fucking hates Clementine. Clementine is just another thing in Minnie’s way. I know the part of the fandom likes to ship these two together and they think it’s hot when they fight and shit, but within the canon text, Minerva wants Clementine gone. Dead. She is the thing stopping her from having her old family merge with her new family. If Clementine hadn’t made them fight, they all would’ve been captured and they’d all be a delta family now. She would’ve had Tenn back. 

Clementine is the problem, she made everyone fight back and that’s why people are dead. Minerva hates her for it… it’s not a “I hate you but like the sexual tension, y’know?” that I see people pretend it is, it’s “you are ruining everything and if I have to, I will kill you myself and I won’t give a second thought about it when they toss your body overboard.”

Like….. seriously, think about how fucked up all of this is. Minerva is a husk of who she was before she was taken away. Sure, you do have to keep in mind that when Tenn and Violet are describing her, their sights are a bit clouded, y’know? But I do believe that she was someone who was kind and cared about people, she wanted to make people feel safe and comforted. 

Now she’s a brainwashed soldier who won’t help the people she used to call friends when they’re about to get limbs cut off. She won’t hesitate to knock someone unconscious or threaten a child.  She’s willing to trick them into being captured with no regard for what’s going to happen to them. … all she knows is this was the mission, and now they all get to be together again back at the delta. 

Then when she finds out there’s a bomb on the boat, she ditches Violet to blow up with it in order to make it to land herself. She loses her shit seeing everyone die and gets her face chewed off by a walker… and then she tries to blow Clementine and AJ up with a grenade. 

Oh, and who can forget the fact that she tracks the group down with plans of murdering Tenn so that they can go to a better place together? And she’ll take down anyone who gets in her way?

Like….. jesus christ, Minerva’s waaaaay too far gone. It’s awful. 

I think that’s what stumps me about why she’s so loved in the way that she is. It’s not that I don’t understand why she’s complex and well-written, I get that perfectly fine. She’s a compelling character study when you comb over all her scenes and take different factors into account.

What I don’t understand is why we tend to just throw everything interesting about her away? For what? 

These days, I never see anyone talking about any of this unless they’re insisting she deserved a redemption arc which…. Eh, I’ll touch on this later. What I mostly see here and mostly other platforms is how great it would be if she and Clementine made out, or hey what if she and Violet got back together if she did come back to the school? Or they just….the best term I have for this is ���uwu-ify.” As in she’s reduced to a caricature of a tall, pretty, mean, white lesbian who has “good damage.” 

People insist that Telltale are cowards or bastards because their predictions of her turning on the delta to save Clem and crew didn’t happen. Instead, Minerva ends up being the final baddie you gotta get away from, and she ends up taking someone down with her. But did you really expect to just do a 180 and suddenly decide being brainwashed for over a year was lame and Clementine and friends are cool? Gonna help them out and be with Tenn again? Sure, there’s some left over trauma but love conquers and fixes everything, right?

Uh…. no? That’s not how people work? Honestly, if we entertain the idea that Minerva wasn’t bit and somehow didn’t murder Clementine when they all got back to the school…. romance is the last thing she is ever gonna think of??

I think that’s what bothers me most when reading these au’s and rants about redemption and the entire idea of clemerva as a whole. It’s the same thing that I see happen with Violet- Minerva only has value to fans if she’s in a wlw relationship. By herself, she doesn’t matter. They don’t care about her canon story, they don’t care about Sophie, they don’t care about discussing what could’ve happened if she and Tenn reunited under better circumstances or had a healing recovery together. But why?

Throwing a girlfriend at her isn’t some band aid that’s gonna cover up all the bad she went through?? Having an enemies to lovers romance with Clementine isn’t going to fix a years worth of brainwashing, trauma or the fact that she murdered her own sister and the delta told her she's proved her worth to them?? 

Having the support of those around her is a good thing, don’t get me wrong. The idea of the Ericson crew as a whole trying to help her out and do the best they can to accommodate her is bittersweet since there’s only so much they can do. They’re not trained therapists, which is what Minerva would need and plenty of years ahead of her to work through and come to terms with everything that happened as well as taking steps forward. I’m not saying that she shouldn’t have friends or that she couldn’t have a healthy romantic relationship someday... but that isn’t the solution, y’know? 

I don’t know how else to explain this, but it makes me feel weird that all of this stuff is flat out overlooked or doesn’t appear to matter to fans of her. 

Look, I get it. We all want these characters to be happy. AU’s are a thing, after all. Sometimes we want to forget about the bad things and focus on the good that bring us comfort. You wanna gush about the idea of an AU where the twins never got traded, the raiders didn’t exist, and Clementine got to meet them the way they were before? I feel that, AU’s are super comforting and fun to explore, and my point isn’t to try and shame anyone who has an AU you like this. 

Hell, you think I don’t have days where I pretend mute Louis isn’t a thing because the whole concept of Louis having his tongue cut out of his mouth breaks my fucking heart? No, lot’s of days I just want to forget everything about that route, I want to set aside all the bad and just intake as much clouis fluff as I can get…. But that doesn’t mean I always ignore or refuse to acknowledge the bad just because I don’t like it. I fucking hate the fact that Louis loses his tongue when you don’t save him, but guess what? That’s a canon route you can play, just like any other route, and the possibilities that come with a mute Louis are vast and compelling. 

This is how it is for me… my favorite characters are my favorite for a reason, and I take all the bad with the good. Louis isn’t perfect, and I don’t want him to be. I was to dive into his backstory about why did that to his parents, I like to talk about what he went through with Marlon’s murder and his feelings about AJ and Clementine at the point, I like to view his love of music as bittersweet. He can stand on his own, and while he is a love interest for Clementine, that isn’t his only purpose. 

I know everyone’s different, they express their love for characters in their own ways, but I do have a genuine question: do you guys actually like Minerva?

Believe it or not, I’m not trying to step on toes or make everyone feel defensive which I know is how people will react to this. “You’re just saying all of this to make us feel bad for shipping clemerva! You don’t even like Minnie so you don’t get to say shit!” yeah yeah, I hear you and look, it’s true that she’s not my favorite character. I know I’ve said I hate her in the past but upon reflection and throwing out fandom interpretations.... I don’t hate her. I get it now. She’s a great character study to dissect and analyze and I think she deserves more than what the writers and the fandom have given her. 

And yeah, what I do hate is clemerva, and I’ve explained why. It’s not for me, it makes me uncomfortable, but at the end of the day, who cares? Me not liking it doesn’t mean anything to those who create AU’s for them. They have their reasons, they can do as they please as long as they’re not hurting anyone. I’m just here pointing out things I see and things that bother me in hopes of starting a discussion.

There’s my ramble about Minerva. I’m gonna go make some tea now. 

[biisexualemma]

home. pt 4. bucky barnes

word count: 4.1k

warnings: implications of sex (blink and you'll miss it), nudity (again nothing descriptive) but generally lots of fluff and tiny bit of angst

requested: yes and no but it's here anyway lol

plot: you're recovering from your mission with sam and his family, patiently awaiting for bucky to come home

a/n: thank you for the support on this series loool i hope you like this! i think this will likely be the last part! it rounds off quite nicely i think so hope this is a satisfying ending! i loved writing this, especially the bathroom scene! enjoy! comment! lmk what you think! (also sorry this is so long i got carried away when editing oop--)

pt.1 / pt.2 / pt.3 / marvel masterlist / multi-fandom masterlist

you huffed, swatting away the tiny hand prodding your forehead. when it persisted, you let out a throaty groan, forcing open your groggy eyes, to see cass, sam's nephew, nose to nose with you. you scrunched up your nose, squinting at him with tired eyes, before letting out a breathy laugh and shoving his face away with the palm of your hand.

"can't a girl get a lie in around here?" you grumbled, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes as aj came running into the sitting room following his brother. you shot him a small smile, cautiously pushing yourself upright on the couch. you bit down on the inside of your cheek, the familiar sharpness shooting through your ribs as you repositioned yourself, trying to mask any pain you felt.

"nope," cass hopped on the end of the couch, sitting himself on top of you, shaking his head with a toothy grin. you let out a strained yawn, stretching your arms up over your head, having to force yourself awake. you winced, the stabbing pain returning as you dropped your arms back to your side. you tried to disguise it with a small laugh, ruffling up cass' hair, who was sat watching you from his end of the couch.

"mom had to go down to the harbour with uncle sam," aj informed you, positioning himself on the arm of the couch beside you. you nodded, sighing lightly, you slumped your shoulders, you were still tired. you had gotten pretty close to sam's family in the past week or so you'd spent on their couch, but it was so easy to love these kids. they were the sweetest, cheekiest kids you'd ever met. they reminded you so much of sam. "'told us to look after you."

"no," you shook your head, quickly protesting. "i'm the adult here."

"maybe," aj wore a wide, cheeky smile, dragging out the word. "but uncle sam says you're a hot mess, and that we gotta' help you out," you could hear sam saying this to his nephew. your eyebrows knitted, glancing between the two boys who were giggling as you feigned a look of hurt. you couldn't help but crack a small smile after a while, they were too easy and they were too cute to even pretend to be mad at.

"your uncle sam doesn't know what he's talking about," you waved away his comment. "i'm fine," you insisted quickly before a small, insubordinate smirk began forming on your lips. their faces lit up with small smiles, watching your every move, taking in everything you were saying. that was one thing you loved about kids, you could tell them absolutely anything and they would believe you, no questions asked. you turned your attention back to cass who was still sat, legs crossed, his weight crushing your feet a little (though you didn't mind so much). he had the cheekiest smile of the both of them. "so," you quirked an eyebrow. "are you gonna' sit on me all day or do you wanna eat some pancakes?" you had to suppress your laughter when his eyes widened, knowing just how much he loved breakfast food. kids were too easily persuaded.

his lips tightened, trying to hold back an excited smile. he glanced over at his older brother, trying to figure out if he was allowed to accept your offer, before his eyes moved back at you. you tilted your head, giving him a look. "well?" you teased, knowing you had him.

"pancakes!" he caved, just like you knew he would. you couldn't blame him, who could resist pancakes. his voice raised an octave higher in his excitement. you giggled as cass hopped off of you, running towards the kitchen with his older brother following behind him, just as enthusiastically.

you let out a soft humph, your smile falling a little as you dragged your feet over the side of the couch, letting them hang there for a moment. you were healing well, you just constantly felt wiped out now you had finally taken a breather. you hadn't realised how much you'd been pushing yourself during this mission, until you stopped. sam had noticed too, so he wasn't letting you contribute much around the house.

you had been hesitant to accept his offer at first, the last thing you wanted to do, after everything, was impose. you knew sam had his own stuff to work out too. but it was sarah, in the end, who reassured you that you were more than welcome to stick around as long as you needed. something about your presence around the house being much needed as she was currently outnumbered three to one. so, to try and make yourself somewhat useful, you offered to watch the boys anytime she needed.

you were grateful to them both for letting you crash, and, truthfully, you were happy you did take the offer in the end, it was much needed. it also helped that literally every single person you had met was kind and welcoming, something you hadn't felt in a while. that, along with sam's lovely family, was enough to keep your mind off things for a while.

things being bucky, who you hadn't heard from since the fight with walker. he hadn't checked in with you once. you knew he had his own stuff to handle but it still didn't make you feel great knowing he was out there god knows where, doing god knows what. it stung a little when he up and left you like that without a second thought. if he wasn't willing for you to tag along, you expected for him to communicate his plans to you, at the least. but you should've known, bucky had never been very good at communicating.

"y/n, c'mon! it's pancake time!" you were pulled out of your thoughts by aj, whose hand latched onto yours, urging you onto your feet. you forced a small smile, pushing any thoughts out of your head that didn't involve making pancakes, and ignoring the dull ache in your chest that came whenever you thought about him. if you just kept busy, you wouldn't have to think about any of it.

-

you lifted your hand to your face, wiping away the beads of sweat dripping from your forehead. the sun was high and it was sweltering, you hadn't adjusted to the louisiana heat yet and you weren't sure you ever would.

you peeled off the jacket that was starting to stick to your clammy skin, tossing it aside, deciding that now was a good time to take a break. collapsing onto an upturned crate, you let out a weighted sigh, squinting, using the back of your hand to shield your eyes as the sun shone down into your line of sight.

"here," sarah appeared behind you, handing over a cold bottle of water. you mumbled a quiet thank you, before quickly gulping down the refreshing water. you let out a content sigh after quenching your thirst, your shoulders slumping. she rested her hand on your shoulder, squeezing it gently before taking a seat beside you. "how y'getting on?"

you shrugged, your eyes watching your feet, feeling the subtle sway of the boat floating on the water. "sam won't let me help with the heavy duty stuff, so he's got me painting," you motioned to the bucket of paint and the brush sitting on the ground where you had left them.

she nodded. "and how you feelin'?"

you straightened your back, lifting your gaze to meet her stare for a second. "i'm getting there. but this heat doesn't quit," she let out a soft laugh, nodding again.

"yeah, that's something you never really get used to," she patted your shoulder again, another soft, reassuring squeeze. "i gotta' run to the store, i'll be back in a half hour. need anything?" you shook your head, mumbling a quiet no thank you. "alright, well, don't strain yourself."

you rolled your eyes, halfheartedly. she wore a teasing smile, one that reminded you of sam. they were so alike, it was weird sometimes when you thought about how this was the life behind the man you had known for so many years. "i won't," she nudged your shoulder when you shook your head again. "not with sam around anyway," you joked, scrunching up your nose.

"hey," she called, edging away from you as she made to leave. you looked over at her, blocking the sun from your eyes with your hand. she quirked an eyebrow at you. "he's looking out for you! we all are," you tightened your lips, trying to disguise the smile growing on your lips. you nodded, waving goodbye as she left the boat.

it felt nice to have the small circle of people who cared for you, starting to grow.

a loud noise emitting from the other end of the boat caught your attention, your eyes widening when you spotted a cloud of steam gushing from one of the pipes. you darted over, your hands frantically hovering around the pipe as you tried to figure out how best to fix whatever it was that was broken. you rummaged through the tool box sitting next to you, and grabbed a wrench, purely because it felt the like the right tool to grab. in truth, you had no idea what the hell you were doing. you clapped the tool around the pipe, trying with all your might to stop the steam from spitting out.

"sam!" you hollered over your shoulder, trying to catch the mans attention so he could help you. "i have no idea what the hell i'm doing!" you called blindly in a panic, hoping someone would swing in and take over before you made this any worse.

"here," you felt a hand tap your shoulder, so you let go of the tool and stepped back. only it wasn't sam like you had expected. you stumbled backwards into sam, his hands touching your forearm as you regained your balance. it was bucky who had his hands clamped round the wrench, fixing the pipe with relative ease.

you gulped. you couldn't figure out how you were feeling now he was in front of you. your feelings were mixed. mainly you felt relieved that he was in front of you in one piece. "thanks," was all you managed to croak out once he turned to face you. his eyes focused on you, squinting from the sun in his eyes. he opened his mouth to say something to you when sam cut him off.

"why didn't you use your metal arm?" you raised an eyebrow, watching as bucky shrugged, his eyes dragging away from you and towards sam.

"i don't always think of it immediately," he admitted honestly. "i'm right handed."

you sighed. you sometimes wondered how this was the same man who traipsed around for ninety years as the winter soldier. you rolled your eyes, moving away from the two of them, returning to the painting you'd been hard at work with before all this commotion.

you'd just have to speak to bucky later, when you could be alone. right now, you were helping sam.

--

bucky had reluctantly agreed to stay the night after a long day working on the boat. you had been carefully avoiding him all day. you didn't feel much like hashing things out in front of sam and his entire family, so you stuck your head down and got on with your work.

but now it was pretty late, a lot of time had passed, and you had yet to catch your boyfriend alone. you figured a shower would do you good, to clean you up and hopefully clear your head.

your eyes were deeply focused on your own, watching yourself in the foggy mirror after finally leaving the comfort of the hot shower. your eyes were sunken, hollow almost as you looked back at yourself. you didn't look like yourself. you looked tired all the time, mainly because you were tired all the time.

you hadn't been sleeping as well without bucky next to you. along with sam's nephews waking you up at the crack of dawn every morning, you weren't getting as much sleep as you should be. though you couldn't blame the boys, they were excited to have someone in the house that let them do whatever they wanted to do (though it got you in trouble a fair bit). bucky, however, you could blame. if he had just told you straight where he was going, what his plan was. if he'd just contacted you so you knew he was ok all that time he was away. but he didn't. he left you behind to finish his own mission, not thinking twice about how it would make you feel.

your fingertips grazed over the skin of your neck, the bruising was finally starting to turn an ugly yellow colour, meaning it would start to fade away soon. most of your wounds had healed, you were mainly left with bruises and scabs and a subtle ache. nothing too serious. but it certainly made you look like hell.

you pursed your lips, your fingertips trailing down your chest, until gently brushing against the large purple-green bruise running across your ribs. you twisted your abdomen to get a better a look at the bruise that circled round to your back, wincing and gritting your teeth as you did. sam mentioned something about your ribs taking longer to heal than any of the other injuries, you just didn't think he meant it'd take this long.

you startled, flinching from the knock on the door, drifting you out of your thoughts and back to your current state. you grabbed a towel from the rack beside you and wrapped it around yourself. "yeah?" you called out in response to the knock. you wiped away the droplets of water covering your face with your hand, sniffling as you secured the towel around your chest.

"it's me," the soft, familiar voice muffled through the door dividing the two of you. you gulped, glancing at your reflection one last time, before turning away.

you hesitated, but ultimately unlocked the door and pulled it open. you turned back to the mirror, leaving the door to hang open as you stood with your back to him. he let himself in, locking the door again behind himself. he hovered by the door, falling back against it, his eyes watching carefully as you ran your hands over your face.

you glanced at him in the reflection of the mirror, out the corner of your eye. his eyes lingered over your body, only his eyes were just as hollow as yours. after a moment of silence, he let out a sigh, and edged across the small space to be closer to you. "hey," he mumbled softly, his hands gripping your waist over the towel. you took in a sharp breath, your hands quickly moving to his to pull them away from your tender bruises. you turned yourself to face him, still holding his hands that hovered over your waist now. his eyes widened slightly, moving back and forth between yours, looking for you to tell him what he'd done wrong.

"sore still," you scrunched up your nose, the ache slowly fading away again after he'd let go. it wasn't his fault, he wasn't to know.

his eyebrows creased together, his eyes trickling down to the visible bruises marked around your throat. he gulped, he gave your hands a soft squeeze before moving them to your shoulders. he couldn't pull his stare away from you, he was taking you all in. his fingertips pressing into your shoulders gently, his lips pursing.

"m'sorry," he mumbled in a whisper. his eyes lifting back up to yours again, soaked with guilt.

you shook your head faintly. "y'didn't know--"

"no--" he shook his head. "i'm sorry i left like that," his hands slipping from your shoulders, his soft touch trailing down your bare arms before gripping your forearms. he hadn't noticed the bandage on your wrist until his fingers grazed against the material. he scrunched up his face, his touch leaving you as he turned away. he moved a hand to his face, his forefinger and thumb trying to unknit the crease between his eyebrows.

"it's alright, buck," you spoke softly. it wasn't really ok, at least, not how he left. but you didn't want him beating himself up about you being hurt, that was part of the job, that had nothing to do with him. "i'm fine, really."

"you're still a terrible liar," his voice was cold, and your chest tightened. "i should've held back longer before i left," he shook his head again, his gaze dropping to the floor. "i should've said something," you let out a sigh, reaching out, your fingertips grazing his arm. he turned around under your touch, his jaw clenched when he met your eyes again. he never imagined being this much under someones control ever again. but here you were, and he would do anything you asked.

you pursed your lips. "maybe," you shrugged. you had given it some thought throughout the day. you couldn't hold a grudge against him forever, he made a split second decision, and he knew he was leaving you in capable hands. "but what's happened has happened. there was a lot going on. i'm sure you're still processing a lot of it."

he was pouring so much emotion into you with just a stare, your eyes fluttering as you held his gaze. "i was angry-- i didn't think everything through-- i just-- i knew i needed to deal with zemo."

you sniffled, gulping down the lump in your throat. "i get it. you didn't want me there to see any of it," you thought back to when bucky told you he never wanted you to have to see him as the winter soldier again. you thought back to watching bucky fight under zemo's control. you understood why he needed to do what he did, you'd said time and time again, you would kill zemo yourself when the mission was over.

"i didn't kill him," he admitted hesitantly. "the Dora Milaje took care of him."

you raised an eyebrow. "oh, that's so much worse for him," bucky nodded in agreement, his lips pursing. "good."

"yeah," he trailed off, his eyes glossing over for a moment as if lost in thought. you wished sometimes that you could see inside that head of his. you nudged his side after a while, mumbling a quiet hey, his eyes focusing back on you. he frowned. "what was the damage?"

you shrugged. "i think walker had a hearing--"

"no-- no--" he cut you off quickly, your mouth hanging open as he stopped you mid-sentence. "you. what's the extent of your injuries? how you feelin'?"

"oh," your eyebrows unknitted, shrugging again. "i--uh-- had a mild concussion. a few broken ribs and just a lot of bruising, some open wounds but it wasn't too bad considering i went up against a super soldier," you forced a smile, trying to ease some of the tension that bucky was creating with that frown on his face.

you moved your hand up to his face, cupping his cheek. your thumb grazed his cheek, and you remembered the gash across his face had healed since the last time you saw him. you gave him a genuine, soft smile in hopes of reassuring him. "i really am fine. sam says i just need to take it easy for a couple weeks."

he nodded faintly. he hovered his hand over yours, turning his cheek and pressing his lips to the palm of your hand. your eyelids fluttered feeling his lips touch your skin tenderly. made you realise just how much you had missed bucky since he'd been away. he squeezed your hand affectionately, his lips lingering on your skin.

your free hand quickly moved to your towel when it loosened around your chest, just catching it in time. bucky's eyes moved to your towel for a split second, like he was suddenly reminded that you were standing in front of him in practically nothing. his eyes remained soft as he looked at you though, he cleared his throat before moving his hand to your cheek, slipping his fingers into your wet hair gently.

"how're you healing?" he mumbled in a whisper.

you gulped, his eyes locked on yours as he spoke. your eyes darted back and forth between his. "bruises are still there but they're fading," you spoke softly now that he was close enough to you. you could feel his breath fanning against your skin. he nodded, biting the inside of his cheek as he tried to keep his eyes from drifting downwards. "wanna' see?"

his eyebrows twitched into a frown for only a second, unsure that he heard you correctly. "uh-- yeah," he breathed out, his breath grazing your skin. you untied the towel from round your chest, letting it fall to the floor beneath you with a soft thud.

bucky's jaw tightened. usually, quite happy to see you standing in front of him wearing absolutely nothing, he couldn't shift his eyes for a while from the enormous bruise covering your abdomen. his eyebrows unknitted, unsettled by the nasty bruise spread over your soft skin, his eyes shooting up to yours quickly.

"fuck walker," he muttered under his breath. "this is all from him?" you nodded faintly, eyes fluttering and your breath hitching in your throat when his fingers carefully brushed against the discoloured stretch of skin.

"it was a lot worse," you spoke in a hushed voice. "it's healed a lot."

bucky didn't speak for a while and neither did you, his eyes trailing over your body, unclothed facing him. after a moment, he got down onto his knees. you gulped, his head tilting back for a second, eyes meeting yours from beneath you. your breaths grew rapid the closer he got, his forehead gently falling against your bare stomach before pressing a soft kiss to the purple--green lesion covering your skin. you let out a shaky breath, shifting your arms so you could run your fingers through his hair. you still weren't used to the length.

"i love you," he mumbled against your skin. your hands stilled where they rested in his hair, moving to tilt his head back, forcing his eyes to meet yours again. he pressed another sweet kiss to your stomach before moving himself back up to your height. your eyes were wide slightly, your fingers slipping out from between his locks. both his hands moving to either side of your face now. "don't freak out on me, you don't have to say it back. 'just needed you to know what i was thinking."

"and you're thinking-- that you love me?" you reiterated. he nodded, the corner of his lips turning into a soft smile. you couldn't help but mimic his expression, your heart beating a bit harder now, the sound rushing through your ears. it had been a long time since someone had told you they loved you, and meant it. a warm feeling spread through your chest, you were on such a high, soaking in the way he was looking at you with tender eyes. "pretty sure i love you too, buck."

you were a hundred percent sure, you just didn't want to seem too keen. you were already standing in front of him naked.

his lips stretched into a wider smile, ducking his head for a second, remembering suddenly that you were in fact completely naked in front of him, and he hadn't done anything about it. you swallowed a small laugh escaping your lips, watching a realisation hit bucky before he ducked down to your height and pressed his lips against yours. you relished in the feeling. "i love you, i love you, i love you," he muttered repeatedly, his lips pushed against yours, your smile growing wider every time he said it. you choked out a laugh, pushing at bucky's chest so you could catch a breath.

"i get it," you scrunched up your nose. "you love me," you teased, laughing wholeheartedly. you felt warm and comforted and somewhat normal for the first time in a really long time. you nudged his chest once more, his hands gripping your hips to pull you back to him. "so show me."

bucky's smile grew with your words, his mouth hanging open for a second. he didn't know how things managed to work out this good for him, but he wasn't going to question it. he was going to enjoy every moment with you for as long as he could.

"oh, god," he let out a throaty wine. "gladly."

taglist: @lo-manburg @bluemoon-icecream @farfromjustordinary @stolenxkissess

[ravenadottir]

s3 boat party cast as s2 islanders

(i did a tai/camilo route and i thought it was really underwhelming. i know the characters switch once you switch the main LI but most of these stay the same.)

this is about their personalities throughout the boat party.

elladine = hope. organized the party but still keeps an eye on her friends. as she described it herself, she's the mom friend, and she woke us up to see a meteor shower so... yeah.

nicky = bobby. he's not having anyone's shit this season, despite letting his partner get away with some bullshit sometimes. overall chill but not really. playful but not a lot.

iona = marisol. flirty and competitive. plus, she tries to force the truth out of yasmin and it's kind of over analyzing her.

yasmin = rahim. doesn't open up until the very end and gets very annoyed at maris-, sorry, iona, when she doesn't drop it.

ciaran = henrik. there's a dog and he's having the time of his life as the true puppy he is.

aj = hannah. she's perky and bright eyed about everything in this trip. also, lesbian.

genevieve = noah. too afraid of the answer to ask the question.

miki = lottie. calling people out. also, finding it hard to disconnect her phone because this way she's not getting anyone's validation.

seb = gary. doesn't like the fame, hates small talk and would never leave his hometown unless is for the love of his life.

bill = rocco. he doesn't feel the pressure of fame and continues in his simple ways. bill is building a house and posting on social media instead of branching out and i love that for him. you don't need more to be happy so you do you.

rafi, lily, tai, camilo, harry. well, they're there. and um... they talk and stuff, it's fine.

[thisisarcanereverie]

When in Love (Sam Wilson x Reader)

A/N: I love Sam Wilson period. 

ULTIMATE MASTERLIST 

REQUEST SOME PROMPTS

Summary: Bucky did indeed flirt with Sam’s sister again........and now they’re getting married. Sam brought you as his date to their big day. 

“It’s not too late to get Carlos,” Sam said as you straightened his tie, Sam could do it by himself but then he wouldn’t have an excuse to have you near him. 

“I’m pretty sure people would notice if the groom weren’t to make an appearance.” You said as you finished straightening his tie, letting your hands linger there for a while as you looked up into his dark eyes. 

“Don’t know unless we try.” Sam half heartedly said. He was only half joking, for the past few years he saw Sarah happier than she had been in years. He knew Bucky treated her well and that he loved the kids as well. Sam knew Bucky would never hurt them. 

Didn’t mean that Sam didn’t have Carlos on speed dial and an alibi set up just in case. 

(Y/n) lightly smacked her hand against Sam’s chest as he laughed. His warm dark eyes lit up as he looked at her. 

(Y/n) smiled and rolled her eyes. She had gotten ready before driving over and Sam couldn’t help but think of how beautiful she was in sky blue. 

Sam had been nervous when he asked (Y/n) to be his date to Sarah and Bucky’s wedding. He knew she wasn’t one for parties where she didn’t know anyone but she had surprised him by accepting. 

“We have a wedding to get to.” You drew him from his thoughts while grabbing your clutch on the bed and walking out the door to wait for him. You had no idea the effect on Sam, even the way your hips sway when you walked away drove him insane. 

Sam took a deep breath in to calm his nerves as he readied himself mentally. Sam was not only going to be one of Bucky’s groomsmen but also the one giving Sarah away. 

Their father was the one to give her away the first time she got married, and now since their father had passed Sam was the only one left for the job. 

Sam gathered his thoughts and headed out of the bedroom and down the stairs to see your figure waiting for him patiently at the bottom. 

You hear the stairs creak under his feet and look up. You had always thought he looked attractive, but put that man in a suit and your knees began growing weak. 

You barely managed to tear your eyes away from him for a second as he reached the bottom of the stairs.

“Ready?” you asked, trying to keep your voice even. 

“Ready.” 

---

The wedding had been beautiful, it was held at the church. The aisle and booths were decorated with white flowers and ribbons. 

On Bucky’s side there was Dora Milaje and T’Challa. Along with Thor, Brunheilda, and the Guardians. Rocket was mostly looking at Bucky’s metal arm though. 

The Ceremony had been just as beautiful, Sarah walked down the aisle in a beautiful white gown which made Bucky tear up with Sam. AJ and Cass were already by Bucky’s side, after all Bucky had named them his Best Men. 

While Sarah and Bucky said their vows Sam’s gaze couldn’t help but wonder to you. You were seated by Sarah’s side of the church along with almost everyone in town. You smiled and wiped a few tears as the vows got increasingly emotional. You had been seated near a glass stained window and all of its colors bathed you in it’s light. You just got more beautiful the longer he looked at you. 

Suddenly your eyes had met with his, and he felt his heart stop and breathing suddenly became difficult. It wasn’t unwelcomed though, in fact it was quite the opposite. Sam didn’t look away and neither did you. You both had stared at each other until Sam decided to be bold and wink and flash his intoxicating smile. You smiled bashfully before winking back and tearing your eyes from his to focus back to the stars of the day as Sam did the same thing. 

The reception was back at the house, Sam and a few other people from town helped set up the yard yesterday. Making an area for dancing, dining, food, socializing. Decorating it with magnolias and fairy lights and it looked stunning. 

The sun had almost begun to set by the time everyone got back to the house to enjoy the party. 

Bucky and Sarah did their first dance as husband and wife to an old 1940′s song and was later joined by AJ and Cass. Bucky had gone above and beyond to make sure the boys had been included in everything. 

After their dance ended, something faster paced began to play and almost everyone began to make their way to the dance floor. You and Sam being among them. Sam had twirled you around and danced with you until it was time for the toasts to begin. 

“I just want to thank everyone who came here today,” Bucky began to speak on the microphone, a beer in his hand. “I especially want to thank AJ and Cass for letting me into their lives, and my beautiful wife Sarah.” Bucky paused and gave her a wink, Sarah winked back and smiled. “I promise to uphold my vows and protect and love you and the boys with everything I have.” He raised his beer bottle in cheers before taking a quick swig out of it. 

AJ and Cass had performed their toast next, welcoming him into their family and just an overall sweet speech which ended with Bucky in tears for the second time that day. It made your heart swell to see Bucky so happy after all these years he had to endure alone and tortured. He deserved this, they all did. Sarah, Bucky, Cass, and Aj deserved to be happy together. 

A few other people gave speeches before Sam gave his. Even Rocket gave an impromptu speech. 

“Can I have that arm now?”

“No.”

“I’m getting that arm.” 

You saw a quick look of fear cross Bucky’s face as Rocket was approached by Dora Milaje and struggled to hold in a small laugh. 

Sam made his way up the stage to give his speech. He straightened his jacket before grabbing the microphone. 

“Sarah as your brother I am so proud of you and I know if Dad and Mom were here they would say the exact same thing. They would be proud of the woman and of the mother you have become.” Sam said with tears at the corners of his eyes at the mention of their parents, Sarah wiped her tears away as well. “Bucky as your friend I know Steve would be as proud and as happy for you as I am. Happy that you have finally found your peace and I welcome you to the family with open arms.” He raised his glass to Bucky who returned the favor. “Although I do recall telling you not to flirt with my sister,” laughter then ensued as Bucky chuckled and shook his head. “As Sarah’s brother,” Sam then motioned to Carlos sitting at one of the tables, “I want you to know that it’s not too late for me to get Carlos to feed you to the fish if necessary.” Carlos then waved and laughed at the groom who returned the favor. “treat her and the boys well and I guess we’re no longer co workers.” Laughter erupted as Sam took a drink in congratulations as did everyone else. 

---

As the party began to die down you had snuck out the pier to get some fresh air away from everyone. 

It wasn’t like you didn’t enjoy their company and didn’t get to meet some pretty interesting people. It was just you needed a moment to yourself to relax. You were an introvert at heart and so many people at once tended to overwhelm you sometimes. 

You watched as the water moved gracefully, breathing in time with it. The lights from the party reflected in the water and the music could still be heard although softer now. 

You didn’t even seem to notice a certain man making his way to you before you heard a silent ‘oh shit’. 

If Sam thought you had looked beautiful before, now you were angelic. The sun had long before set and now your figure was illuminated by the faint lights of the party and the moon. It gave you an almost ethereal glow as he noticed your hands fidgeting. A habit he noticed a long time ago, you always have to do something with your hands. He honestly found it cute. 

Sam had been so caught up in you that he hadn’t noticed a little loose board and nearly tripped over himself. 

Your hands stopped moving as you saw Sam holding onto the wooden railing of the pier for dear life. You laughed a little at Sam’s embarrassed expression as he tried to walk it off as though it didn’t happen. 

You looked back out to the water as Sam finally made his way to your side. Out of the side of your eye you caught a glimpse at the man beside you. The light of the party and the moon made him look romantic, and you noticed that at some point in the night Sam discarded his tie and jacket, rolled the sleeves up his forearms and unbuttoned a button or two on his shirt. He started fidgeting with the watch on his wrist as you both look at the water dancing. 

You could hear the upbeat music from the party change to another slow dance. 

“You wanna dance?” 

You turned and saw Sam with his hand out, ready to take your hand if you accepted. Which you did. 

Slowly you and Sam moved with the beat, the music was quiet and the lights had made the moment all the more romantic. 

Sam held your hand in one and his other hand went to your waist, pulling you flush against him making your heart beat out your chest. 

Neither of you said a word, Sam hummed in tune with the song as you smiled at him. 

Sam’s heart was beating out of his chest, usually he was smooth. Usually Sam had no trouble speaking to ladies, but it seemed as though you were the exception. 

A couple of seconds passed before Sam finally broke the silence. 

“Usually I can speak just fine in front of someone,” He started his deep voice quiet, “but now I can’t seem to speak without getting all tongue tied.”

You laughed a little at that, Sam loved your laugh. He couldn’t understand why but your laugh always seemed to put him in a better mood. 

“What’s so funny?” Sam asked with a smile on his face, you wondered if his smile would ever stop making your heart beat faster. 

“It’s just something my Mum used to tell me,” you explained, “what you just said reminded me of it.”

“Tell me.” He said his eyes focused on you, eyes reflecting the light from the reception. You looked down bashfully before meeting his eyes again. 

“When in love speech becomes meaningless.” 

Sam’s dark eyes stared into yours intensely as if you had become the only thing left in the world. 

For a moment you wonder if you had misread the signs, maybe you had scared him. Panic starts to fill you as you begin to apologize before his hands move from their places at your waist and hand to either side of your face and kiss you. 

The first thing you noticed was that Sam tasted of beer and spice. The next thing you noticed was how soft his lips were on yours and how gently he moved against you. 

You had been so lost in the kiss that you hadn’t noticed the music dying down and the lights going out, all there was, was you and him. 

You both pulled away reluctantly and watched as the moonlight reflected off the water. Content with not speaking another word and just holding each other in peace.

[hunflowers]

Golden

Word Count: 15.3k

Requested? I don’t remember, but you always can here :)

Mood Board

A/N: Lord, have mercy SHE’S FINALLY HERE!!!!! My baby Golden is finally out to the public and can I just say how fucking relieved I am to post it. I love her, I hope you do too <3 little warning: there are mentions of panic attacks in here, and a heart condition (that i did my best to research on) so if you’re uncomfortable, pls don’t read. 

special thanks to my soul baby @stylesloveclub​ for being my biggest support system with this, she’s dedicated to you <3

for anyone reading this, please reblog! it really helps us writers out. okay onward friends!!! lemme know how i did and if you like it *nose boops*

Water. The ocean. Waves. The tide.

Symbolic of life, birth. Can be used to wash away even the most troubling of sins.

O’ahu, Hawaii, home to some of the best surfing destinations in the state, in the country, in the world. Also home to one of the best surfers in the state, in the country, in the world. 

Y/N didn’t coin herself that. Not that she’s complaining about it, but she doesn’t surf for the title. She surfs for the freedom. She feels the most alive when her toes dig into the sand as she runs towards the warm, salt oblivion, her novelty yellow and blue surfboard tucked under her arm.

Her whole life she had been surrounded by water. When she was a baby, she always wanted a bath. When she was a toddler, she always wanted to stay in the kiddie pool. And then she got into surfing, and well, the rest is history so-to-speak. Her parents never got themselves involved in the sport professionally but more as a recreational activity. And it was even how they met, so really there was no stopping surfing from flowing through Y/N’s blood.

Her backyard was the ocean, so growing up, it was really the only thing for her to do. It’s what all the kids were doing, and Y/N was no different. She met her best friends on the beach when they were five years old, practicing the basics of surfing, like getting up on the board and finding their balance with the Earth.

Kalani and AJ, two of the best surfers Y/N will ever meet, and two of the purest souls to ever grace her life. They’re madly in love with one another. Have been for as long as they’ve been friends -- so coming up on sixteen years. Y/N is in awe of their relationship, she really is, but being a third-wheel isn’t exactly something she signed up for. Though, she kind of expected it when growing up.

They tried countless times to set her up with someone, but time and time again their matchmaking skills have failed, and Y/N is tired of them pitying her. No, she may not be in a long term relationship, but she hardly has time for a relationship anyway. Especially with competitions coming up, she needs to keep herself focused on surfing rather than some boy who will probably end up breaking her heart.

Well, that was her intention anyway.

October 27th, the first day of the best months out of the year.

And it started just the same as every other year. Y/N woke up at the crack of dawn and threw on her lucky white bathing suit before throwing an apple down her throat. Her surfboard was perched up against the back patio railing, and she swiftly tucked it under her arm as she made her way down the shore, being greeted by the luminescent sun that was swarming the sea in a shade of tangerine and lemon.

Jogging knee deep into water, Y/N sunk her hand just below the surface, swaying it back and forth, taking a deep breath as she felt the cool texture swarm her body. Exhaling slowly, she threw herself down onto her board, paddling onward into the great unknown. The familiar sound of the crashing waves causing her to flinch for a brief moment before comforting her ears as she watches the restless ocean ahead of her, a smile washing over her face as she could basically see her future ahead of her.

Today marks qualifying day, and obviously if she marks as qualified, she moves forward to the Vans Triple Crown. She’s been training all year, her body practically a prune with how much she’s been in the water. But, a minute can’t go to waste, so up until the very last second where she has to head to the north shore, she’s gonna remain in the water and build her intuition with how the day is going to go.

Last year, Y/N had to cut her time short when she was hospitalized the night before the first competition. So, she was all more determined to win the championship that is rightfully hers. Well, in the women’s division at least. Last year was ripped from her right when it was under her nose and she refuses to have a repeat of it. 

After her hospitalization, everyone was convinced she’d never return to the water. Despite the ocean being her second home, everyone figured she would turn away -- avoid the embarrassment last year brought upon her. But, it only made her stronger and more determined to prove everyone wrong. No matter how frightening it really was.

Her first wave of the day had her coasting along smoothly, starting her out easy as waves progressively got bigger with the tide. When she got out into the water, the sun had just broken past the horizon line, yet by the time she left, the sun was nearly at its peak in the sky. Her skin felt raw, yet her body was running on adrenaline as she scoffed down the lunch her mom had made her before they banded into the family van and headed to Sunset Beach on the north shore.

Y/N’s heart raced in her chest, her leg bouncing subconsciously but furiously as she watched the landscape pass her by through the window. Her typically calming music wasn’t even working as she ran through multiple scenarios in her mind of what could go wrong today and how her day, her week, month, even year could be ruined.

Once outside of the van and on the beach, her parents pulled her close into a tight, warm hug, whispering words of encouragement in her ears, knowing just how important this was for her. Surfing and competitions had always been important to Y/N, but following last year’s downfall, this day was going to make or break whatever is left of her both physically and emotionally.

“Y/N!” she heard her name being called from the distance, the three of them immediately letting go of one another as they exchanged sheepish smiles.

“Y/N!” Was called out again, causing her to turn around and see Kalani running straight for the three of them, waving her arms in a drastic manner to gain her best friend’s attention. “Oh my -- I ran so fast, wow, I need to calm down,” Kalani breathed out, closing Y/N into a firm embrace.

“Save your energy for the waves, babe,” Y/N laughed, wrapping her own arms around Kalani’s frame. The two of them were never inseparable, it was kind of like they were actually glued to the hip together ever since they were children. And a lot of people were surprised they remained best friends through the years, what with both of them always competing in the same surfing competitions battling for the first place spot. And they knew this could be a strain on their relationship, but they decided ever since they were seven years old that they weren’t going to let surfing get between them. No matter what, they were always proud of each other for everything they’ve accomplished and are each other’s number one fans.

Thing is, Y/N tends to snag that first place spot a lot of the time, and Kalani always just misses her, earning her the second spot, right beneath her. But, Kalani has grown to accept that Y/N is better at the sport, and that’s nothing for her to be ashamed of. She’s managed to get a few of her own first place wins, and in her eyes, that’s good enough. She can’t live her life being jealous of her best friend because that’s not healthy, and anyway, surfing is much more Y/N’s livelihood than it is her own, so she’s fine with being second best -- despite what others may think.

Tugging her board off the top of the car, Y/N tucked it beneath her arm as she walked hand-in-hand with Kalani to wherever her family had set up camp on the beach. “Where’s AJ?” Y/N wondered, as she looked out into the water and saw no one out in it.

“The boys are starting soon, so he’s with Nav,” Kalani said, finally stopping in front of her parents and younger brother, and AJ’s older brother.

“Y/N!” They greeted, getting up from their chairs to kiss the girl on the cheek before greeting her parents. “It’s so great to see you back here,” Kalani’s mom smiled, pinching Y/N’s cheek before plopping herself back down under the sun.

They all began to catch up with one another since it’s been awhile they’ve all gotten together, all of them falling into old habits as if it hadn’t been months since they were last together. Y/N tried to engage in as much conversation as possible, but her mind tended to wander off as the guys started lining up in the water and making their way out. Her throat dried up and her palms were sweating -- and not from the heat -- as her nerves kicked in. Her memory began to cloud her vision as she stood abruptly and quickly walked away from the group, her heart picking up again.

Her breaths shortened as her mind blurred, and all she wanted was to curl up on her bed and calm her mind. She felt someone’s hand on her back, and immediately she could tell it was her father by the smell of his cologne. Once she was far enough from people, Y/N could feel tears well in her eyes as short images flashed across her eyes, cutting each inhale of breath in half -- which caused her to panic even more as she couldn’t breathe properly.

Last year ruined her, and she absolutely despises that this is considered her normal day-to-day routine now, her body shaking with fear as she feels herself collapsing from the inside, out. “Y/N, honey, can you hear me?” She thinks she hears her father say, but is undetermined with the intense white noise that’s swarming her ear drums.

“Count with me, c’mon, backwards from ten.”

But, all her mind could focus on was her body sinking lower and lower beneath the surface of water.

“Ten… Gotta count, c’mon you can do it, nine.”

“Eight,” she murmured, reaching out to grasp her dad’s shirt tight in her fist, just to make sure that he was really in front of her. She needs to be reminded that last year is her past, and that no matter how forward it is in her mind, it’s not her present anymore and she’s not drowning. “Seven.”

He took her hands and held them to his chest, “Six, keep going.”

“Fi-” she gulps, swallowing the lump in her throat, “..five.”

She makes it all the way down to zero, her body visibly relaxing and mentally as she hesitantly looks around to see no one watching the little event. “Do you want to go home?”

Y/N looks up to her father, shaking her head in response as she sniffles her nose and brushes away the one stray tear that has cascaded down her cheek. “No… I can do this.”

He cocks his head to the side and purses his lips, slowly nodding his head. Wrapping his arm around her shoulders, he turns them back in the direction, walking with her slowly as she continues to gather herself. “You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone, Y/N. Everyone knows you’re an amazing surfer.”

“I think I just need to prove it to myself,” she stated, dragging her feet through the sand like a child so it slowed their arrival time back with the group. She can only imagine that her mom had informed everyone already of what was happening, and the last thing she wants is their sorry eyes and pathetic spouts of pity that she knows she’ll wish they just kept to themselves.

Y/N knows she’s broken. She’s not the same girl everyone knew this time last year, but she doesn’t need to be reminded of it every time she steps into a room. What happened last year was serious and she understands that people are worried; But all she wants is for everyone to forget about it. Including herself. She thinks the thing that’s causing her the most trepidation now -- rather than in the morning or all year long -- is the fact she’s now back in front of a crowd again, eyes trained on her like hawks watching prey, waiting for something awful to happen again.

The only thing missing is the popcorn as they watch this free entertainment.

When they finally came back to everyone, Y/N noticed the guys had started paddling out. Everyone was talking amongst themselves, dismissing her presence as she sat herself down back in the sand, and a breath of relief escaped her lips. The tension was there, but everyone ignored it for her sake, and Y/N couldn’t be more grateful.

“Go, AJ!” Kalani cheered, pumping her fist and shouting a few hoots and hollers afterward. Dom, AJ’s brother, let out a few ear screeching whistles, the kind with the fingers in the mouth, joining in on rooting for his brother. 

Watching the guys out there solidified to Y/N how real this really is, and soon her veins were pumping with excitement again instead of dread as she cheered on her best friend. He was going to qualify, they all were and they knew that, but it's always fun to get excited about the possibility of moving forward and winning the titles and earning the trophies.

All the other faces that surfed alongside AJ were mostly familiar, their names ringing bells as the announcers spoke of them, but there was one that Y/N hadn’t ever heard before. It’s the same cycle of people every year, yet this guy was fresh. And the only reason she’s curious as to who he is, is because he’s good. Like, really good.

Kalani can’t exactly remember if she’s heard of him either, shrugging to Y/N’s wonderment, “I don’t know. Maybe AJ knows.” His pink surfboard and pink wet shirt stuck out as he was a sight for sore eyes, and Y/N grew a little resentment towards him as he pulled out a few advanced maneuvers, gaining everyone’s undivided attention that used to be on AJ.

“Who is that?” Y/N’s mother questioned, looking around to see that no one knew the answer. 

He was a mystery yet he radiated this vibrant energy as the guys finished their rounds, walking off with grace in his step as he laughed at something Nav -- one of the three’s friends -- had said. The girls bid their goodbyes to their families as they headed over to where the guys were before their rounds. AJ immediately came running over to them, hugging Y/N and Kalani simultaneously before giving his girlfriend a quick kiss on the lips. “You did great,” Kalani smiled, keeping her arms wrapped around his center.

“Alright, not in front of me,” Y/N grimaced, looking away from them. Immediately her eyes landed on the new surfer, still talking to Nav, and she was quick to turn back to AJ to ask who he is. “Hey, who’s the new guy?”

Looking over his shoulder, AJ saw who she was talking about before realization dawned on him. “Oh, that’s Harry. He’s from England. A really nice guy, I bet you’d like him,” he winked, causing Y/N to look at him with squinted eyes and pursed lips.

Kalani nudged his side, giving him a weird look. “What? I’m just saying.”

Then, speak of the Devil, Nav and this Harry guy came walking over, joining the three as they stood around waiting for the announcement that the girls could head out. Y/N wasn’t exactly paying attention to her surroundings as she continued to calm herself down for the impending near future. It wasn’t until Harry had stood in front of her, that she was knocked out of her own thoughts.

She looked up at him, making eye contact and briefly getting her breath caught in her throat. When he was far away, it was hard to make out his facial features or what he exactly looked like. But being right in front of him, she was merely astonished at his beauty, but more so his green eyes that reflected the perfect amount of sunlight. His wet, brunette hair rested against his forehead and seemed to be drying a bit curly.

His head tilted slightly, an amused smirk inching up his face as he watched her reaction. Something tells her he’s used to this kind of reaction. “M’Harry.”

His hand came between the two of them, waiting for her to grasp it in a firm grip. Y/N was hesitant at first but finally took his hand and shook it gently while greeting herself before dropping her hand back down to her side. “Y/N.”

This is insanely awkward. Especially because her friends are just watching the exchange silently, as if they weren’t allowed to speak while the two introduced themselves.

Harry has heard of Y/N. It’s hard for anyone involved in the surfing business to not have heard of her. Aside from the jarring news from last year, she’s an excellent surfer and her name is always spreading around like wildfire. She’s part of the reason Harry decided to delve more into the professional surfing world, because he’s been itching to meet her.

Y/N is attractive, anyone with eyes knows that, but Harry wanted to meet her only because of her expansive skills in the water. Standing in front of her, he can’t deny her undying beauty -- and if he weren’t such a gentleman he’d probably be trying to woo her this very instant. But, her looks aren’t what draws him to her, and he decides to not think with his dick for once.

Before he gets the chance to say something else to her, they get notified that the girls should start heading out for their rounds. Y/N and Kalani grab their boards and tuck them under their arms before bidding their goodbyes to the boys and scurrying off to join the rest of the girls.

“Whipped already?” Nav jokes, wrapping his arm around Harry’s shoulders and leading them to the sand where they’ll watch.

Y/N steps her toes into the water, basking in the cool feeling wrapping around her toes and surging up her body. She rolls her neck feeling it crack softly before rolling her shoulders back and taking in her umpteenth deep breath of the day. Her and Kalani looked at each other, nodding with smiles on their faces before they walked deeper in the shallow water until it reached the middle of their thighs before dropping their boards down and paddling out.

At the sight of a small wave heading toward her, Y/N dipped herself beneath the water just to wet her hair. It felt refreshing again to feel the salt coax her skin for the second time that day, as if it never left. When she greeted the air again, she could immediately feel the rays of the sun bouncing off of her skin, illuminating her in a heavenly glow, like the star she is. The spotlight is on her as she aims herself for the peak of the impending wave, nabbing the first ride of the girls’ round.

Back on the beach, her mom’s fingers were crossed, her dad’s breath was caught in his lungs, and Harry’s eyes were fixated on her figure as she jumped up on the belly of her board. Her legs kept her balance against the rough matter below her. Due to the steep wall of the wave, Y/N had to act quick and rational in order to keep control, and started off with an off-the-lip, which kept her parallel with the wave before she moved herself down and carved herself back into the energy zone. 

Because it was a smaller wave, she could only go on for so long before she tipped herself off the board and fell down into the water. Everyone waited with bated breaths and kept their eyes on the area she sunk beneath the blue, before sighing in relief to see her head pop back up. Harry could see the joy wipe over everyone’s faces, replacing the worry that was once there as they hugged one another. He could tell Y/N has such a good support system, and it only urges him more to want to be a part of her life.

Of this life.

❊ ❊

“You guys did so good! We’re so proud,” Y/N’s mom gushed as she pulled her into a warm embrace -- a hug that holds more meaning than just being proud. Her mom was relieved. Grateful. Happy. She’s able to hold her daughter one more time, and that’s all she could ask for. “It’s going to be a good year for all you kids.”

Y/N felt like she was on cloud nine. She was elated, overjoyed, ecstatic, riding such a good high. Her comeback couldn’t have gone any better and she’s just so, so happy. Arriving at the beach she was nervous and anxious and was two seconds away from caving to her fears and running away. Now, as she walks arm-in-arm with her best friend away from the water for the night, she’s laughing a genuine laugh and her veins are currently pumping excitement rather than nerves. 

AJ locked his arm over her shoulders, the three of them linked just like they always are as they head towards Y/N’s family van. But, instead of like other times, this time they have a tag-a-long trailing behind them. It’s sort of like a tradition where after every competition, all of the families join together and head to dinner at their usual restaurant. Nav couldn’t come because he had his own family matters to attend to but Harry was more than willing to accept the offer. He says he came to Hawaii alone and that he had nothing better to do, but his intense stare on Y/N when he accepted the offer says that’s not the only reason he was so quick to join.

It was also part of the tradition that they ride together in the van, 1) because it was the most spacious vehicle where they were able to ride together and 2) because Y/N’s parents are pretty fun to be around. They blasted the best music and made the best jokes, causing not one dull car ride. When they filed in, AJ and Kalani pushed themselves to the back seat, leaving Y/N and Harry to sit in the separate middle row chairs.

“Oh! Harry, I’m sorry, I forgot to ask. Does your family want to join us? They’re more than welcome to,” Y/N’s mom looked over her shoulder in the passenger seat.

He cleared his throat, looking up from his phone and sitting up a bit in his seat, an uncomfortable look on his face. “M’here alone, actually.”

Before anyone could ask any questions, AJ clapped Harry’s shoulder, saying, “We’re your temporary family now, man.” Despite being competitors, it seems the two of them really hit it off and AJ genuinely meant what he said about being Harry’s family. Though, everyone knows the main reason he said it was to diminish the rising tension.

“Thanks, mate,” Harry returned, fist bumping AJ. And during the little exchange, Harry caught eyes with Y/N, catching her eyes wandering around his profile and facial features, causing her to look away quickly and look out the window as if the view was something spectacular. She could hear him snicker quietly, and just when she thinks the coast is clear, she slyly looks back at him just to find out he’s already staring at her.

They really love staring at one another apparently.

When they arrived at the restaurant, Y/N and Harry were pushed to the back of the group -- not really by choice but somehow it ended up that way -- and neither of them really made any moves to break the silence between them. Y/N because she was nervous, and Harry because he wanted her to be the first to speak. And it just so happened that when they were sat at a table, they were left with the last two remaining chairs that also happened to be right next to each other. Y/N couldn’t figure out if they were doing this on purpose or it was by coincidence, but she can tell Harry doesn’t mind.

She’s not one to be nervous around guys, but there’s something about Harry and how he is so blatantly interested in her that makes her wary of talking to him. Kalani sat across the table from her, and when they made eye contact, they had a silent conversation about how Y/N should grow the balls and actually talk to him. Of course Y/N refused, which earned her a kick to the shin in retaliation, which then caused her to let out a yelp of pain and made everyone look at her confused and worried. 

“Sorry, hit my knee on the table,” she brushed it off, glaring at her best friend the moment everyone turned away and continued with their own conversations. 

Being as slick as possible, Kalani directed her eyes to Harry when he wasn’t looking so Y/N could see her, before turning to AJ and talking to him about something completely irrelevant. Again, Y/N and Harry were stuck in this silence. She’s not exactly sure why she can’t just start a conversation, but he’s kind of intimidating and she’s afraid of embarrassing herself, especially in front of her family. 

Pursing her lips and looking down to her lap, Y/N finally turned to give Harry her attention, noticing how he was staring into space, looking completely lost in this foreign setting. “So, uh, where exactly are you from?”

Harry was quick to turn his head to Y/N, waiting and waiting and waiting for the moment she would say something. “A small town in Cheshire. Northwest of London, if that helps.”

“That’s a pretty far trip to take alone,” she nods, licking her bottom lip before gently biting down on it. As much as she thinks of herself as an independent person, she’s also an extreme homebody and could never imagine going anywhere without anyone by her side, whether it be family or friends.

He merely shrugs in response, “M’better off alone.”

Y/N cocked her head to the side while looking at him, letting his words sizzle inside her mind as she tries to overanalyze him in the mere hours she’s known him. She turned her gaze down to her hands that were intertwined in her lap, mulling over her next words to say. She doesn’t know him, but she knows the feeling of being alone. And being alone, no matter how appealing it could sound, never works out in the end. People aren’t meant to live alone. It goes against the natural order of life, and just hearing him say he prefers being alone breaks her heart just the tiniest bit. “No one’s better off alone. Everyone needs someone eventually.”

Little does she know, is that she is his someone. Or, at least that’s what Harry’s hoping. He thinks he’s crazy for being so enthralled by someone so suddenly and so strongly, but Harry’s always been one to trust his gut. His plushie but toned gut was screaming at him that this girl is just meant to be in his life. Maybe meant to be his, but he won’t push his luck. “Guess we’ll have to wait an’ see.”

They both smiled softly at one another, a small blush creeping up Y/N’s cheeks for the umpteenth time that day. “I guess we will.”

❊ ❊

It had been a little over two weeks since qualification day. Her days hadn’t changed much in regards to her schedule; Waking up at the ass crack of dawn and heading straight into the water and staying in practically until the sun was set. But, there was one slight shift in her day, and that was the now familiar face of Harry popping in everyday, either physically or in her mind.

It was safe to say Harry was quickly adapting to the three friends, merging with them seamlessly; As if he had been part of this little group since he was a child. It’s not like any of them minded, especially AJ because he was happy to get another guy around. Their friend Nav wasn’t exactly a permanent part of their little group because he belonged to everyone and no one, but Harry stuck around them like glue and AJ was so grateful. 

Y/N’s grateful because now she isn’t a third-wheel.

Harry and her aren’t exactly buddy-buddy, but it definitely helps having someone else around for movie night so Y/N isn’t stuck watching her best friend’s all cuddled up together and hearing the occasional kiss they would share.

Though, Harry has made it known time and time again that he really wants to be buddy-buddy with her. And Y/N’s not exactly sure why she won’t give him what he wants, but for some reason she loses all comprehensive skills and becomes a blubbering, nervous mess around Harry whenever he brings up his interest in her. So, she’s successfully avoided all buddy-buddy conversations with him by bringing up mundane things instead. Like, why she decided to paint her nails blue, or why she absolutely despises white socks.

She thought she was doing a pretty skillful job too. But, after the first two times she avoided giving a yes or no answer to going on a date with him, Harry purposely would ask her just to hear what other obscure distractions she could come up with. He loved hearing Y/N talk, and without her knowing, he was getting to know her piece by piece, inch by inch, and he was loving it.

Though, a guy’s ego can only take so many rejections before he gives up completely. And just when he was ready to call it quits and accept that she wasn’t interested in him like he was her, the unexpected happened.

Y/N agreed to a date.

Well, kind of.

It was time for the Hawaiian Pro. The official first event of the Vans Triple Crown. It was taking place at Ali’i Beach Park in Hale’iwa, one of the most intense surfing spots filled with waves of  many different faces. Of course, this is when Y/N’s nerves really started to kick in. Qualification day isn’t anywhere near as filled with people as the actual events are, and her nerves have seemed to kick it into high gear. It doesn’t help that the Hawaiian Pro is when her life changed a year ago. She could hear people whispering about her, wondering if she’s going to wipe out again or if this time she’ll stay under the water. Her mind was already frenzied enough, but nothing completes the cycle like a panic attack and the embarrassment of many on-goers witnessing said panic attack.

She almost backed out. How is she meant to be the best when her body is afraid of taking its final breath? The tide was high and the waves showed no mercy. How is she meant to challenge that? How is she meant to control the water beneath her when she can’t even control her own thoughts?

It was getting to be too much for her. This entire time leading up to the Triple Crown she’s denied her fear and her anxiety, telling herself she’ll get over it. She’s been doing good all year, so what makes now any different? But it is very different. The calm atmosphere of her backyard is no match for the rambunctious setting of the Triple Crown. And she’s a fool for thinking differently.

So, she was panicking.

Y/N couldn’t even get up from her seat in her parent’s van because she was so shaky. Her father held her close, easing her back to reality and away from her tortuous mind. Of course, he offered to drive them back home and away from the competition, telling her again that she didn’t have to prove herself to anyone. But, she declined again. Because she needed to prove it to herself. She’s stronger than her mind lets on, and she needs to make sure she knows that.

When she slid off her board and sank her toes back into the warm sand after a very successful first round, landing her in the lead spot, she was finally able to breathe again.

People congratulated her on her comeback, astonished to see her doing better than ever before. Her parents embraced her with love and elation, so beyond happy to see her laughing and smiling and enjoying herself now that she’s progressing forward. Kalani of course is her number one supporter, practically jumping on her and screaming in her ear about how happy she is for her best friend.

Everyone was making their rounds hugging Y/N, and then it was Harry’s turn. They didn’t exactly embrace like the rest of them had, but he threw his arm over her shoulders and pulled her to his side, squeezing her to him softly before looking down at her and saying, “Absolutely wicked, love. Gotta teach me some of y’fancy moves.”

“You sure? They’re really only meant for the pros,” she teased, biting at her bottom lip to conceal her laughter as he scoffed.

“”Ey, no one likes a narcissist,” he shoved her shoulder softly, rolling his eyes as her laughter rang through his ears. “But, whaddya say? M’gonna need a good teacher if I wanna make it to the big leagues.”

Y/N simply shrugs without really thinking much into it, “Sure.” Her mind didn’t exactly process what she had agreed to until later that night, before she dozed off into her temporary slumber. Her eyes shot open and her body sat upright as an over dramatic gasp was inhaled into her lungs. Her mind had been all over the place with the competition that she didn’t realize that she had agreed to being alone with Harry for the first time since they'd met. Immediately she texted and called Kalani, to which she got laughed at in return.

“Kalani, this isn’t a laughing matter!”

A few miles away, Harry was snuggled into his bedsheets, a bright smile stretched across his face as he reveled in the idea that he finally was going to be alone with Y/N since the first time they’d met. His heart was jumping and his stomach was fluttering as he envisioned her pretty face behind his eyelids before he drifted off into his dream with her. 

“It so is! C’mon, Y/N, what have you got to lose? You have the same interests, he’s funny, he’s hot, and he clearly is into you. Enjoy something outside of surfing for once.”

Enjoy something outside of surfing for once.

That’s the thought that stuck in her mind, lingering around as she finally fell asleep, and then when she woke up, and when she was eating breakfast; And doing her chores; And hanging out with Kalani; And eating dinner; And then falling asleep again. Y/N didn’t even realize she had spent so much of her past year focusing on her career and health that she hasn’t done much of anything else.

She’s so grateful to be alive, but she’s hardly given herself the chance to live again.

Before her accident, she was always up for adventure and was always the life of any party. After her accident, she hasn’t even been to a party. She hasn’t been in a relationship in years, she hasn’t gone on a date in a long time, and she can’t even remember the last time she’s had sex or kissed a guy. She’s been so focused on her redemption, that she can’t remember the last time she was genuinely happy.

Going on this date, but also not a date -- but also clearly a date -- with Harry just may provide her with that. And she owes it to herself, to her past self, that her accident isn’t going to shape her life anymore.

Plus, she really enjoys Harry’s company. And even if she doesn’t show it so bluntly like him, she really likes him too.

The next day, Y/N and Kalani had gone out shopping, enjoying a nice girls day out. They had bought a few new varieties of swimsuits (as if they didn’t have enough) and a few other types of clothes, got some lunch, and even found time to watch a movie. And they did all of this right up until the moment Y/N decided it was time to text Harry. 

She wasn’t sure how to go about this, because she’s never really asked anyone on a date before, or followed up with plans (?) about a date. Kalani kept urging her to just rip the bandaid off and to get it over with, saying something along the lines of, “You’re not getting any younger. Plus, I think he’d slip right off his board at the sight of you in that new yellow suit you got.” It was just a simple bikini, but it showcased the majority of her skin that essentially left little to the imagination.

But, the thing is, whenever Y/N gets into the water around people, she can’t help but cover her torso with a wet-shirt, insecure of the imperfections that lined her skin. It’s rare she can bear to look at her skin, so she only assumes no one else would want to either. So, she’s not so sure he’ll fall off his board at the sight of her, but the thought is nice.

Y/N pulled out her phone and hovered over his contact for a good amount of time before Kalani grew impatient and snatched the phone from her friend’s hand. They wrestled around with each other to try and gain custody of the phone, but finally in the end Y/N was able to hold her phone tight in her hands before declaring, “Okay! Okay! I’m texting, I’m going.”

Kalani peaked over Y/N’s shoulder as she watched her type the allusive message to Harry, a proud smile carving over her lips as she watched her break down a barrier she had subconsciously put up. It isn’t by any means important to be in a relationship or to have a boyfriend, but Kalani knows deep down that Y/N was wishing to have that special connection only a relationship could provide -- a connection outside of the realm of friendships.

“There,” Y/N huffed, shoving the screen of her phone in her best friend’s face.

hii, if you’re still up to learn from a true professional, I’m available tonight :)

It wasn’t even ten seconds later that she got a reply.

Shit, I’ll be your best student, babe. I know a perfect spot, I’ll be at yours in an hour.

It was kind of amusing to Y/N that he said he knows a perfect spot, as if she hadn’t been living on this island all her life and practically knows it like that back of her hand. But, that miniscule thought was pushed to the very depths of her mind as panic coursed through her as she realized what she was getting herself into. She’s going on a date, not a date, but also a date with Harry, and a small hour wasn’t enough time to gain her composure. 

Fuck.

❊ ❊

It’s no surprise to Y/N when Harry shows up to her house a minute early. She’s half convinced that he had been waiting outside of her house for the past fifteen minutes until he finally stepped up on to the porch of her house, knocking rapidly on the door. It wasn’t an emergent knock that caused some sort of panic, but it was a frantic knock that screamed ‘let’s get the show on the road.’

When she opened the door, both of their breaths were robbed from their lungs. Y/N essentially looked like she always did but something about her glowed differently to Harry; maybe it was because she’s his for the night. For his eyes only. Just him and her. He was awestruck. 

Harry essentially looked like he always did but something about him radiated differently to Y/N. The same little smirk was nestled in its usual spot, but this one held a different meaning. It looked the same, but maybe it was different because it was just her and him tonight. He’s hers for the night. For her eyes only. Y/N was nervous.

Y/N left her board out on her porch so she wouldn’t have to walk around back when he got here, but she was silently wishing she didn’t so she’d get just a couple more seconds to get herself together. She just kept chanting, “It’s not a date!” in her head, in hopes it would make her feel better.

It didn’t.

Harry saw her board and tucked it under his left arm as he threw his right one over her shoulders guiding her his mode of transportation. It also wasn’t a surprise to Y/N to see Harry rolling up in a light yellow Jeep; the top down and the doors off, typical of any surfer dude, no matter where they originate.

“Her name’s Betty,” he smiled, walking around the back and giving her a quick tap on her rear end before stepping up to straddle Y/N’s board safely and securely.

Sliding through the empty passenger door to take her seat, Y/N was greeted by a familiar smell, a smell she could only associate with Harry. And even if she could never admit it, she loved it a lot. It was mouth-watering and intoxicating, and simply put, it was Harry. Even with the open atmosphere of the car, it was still drenched in this specific smell, and Y/N can’t help but giggle at the image of Harry spritzing whatever cologne into the car before arriving at her house.

A few moments later, Harry slid into the driver side, placing the sunglasses that were sitting on the dash over his eyes, shoving the key into the ignition and starting them on their journey to whatever beach he had envisioned. On the ride there, over the course of a few right turns and lefts and different exits on the highway, Y/N surprisingly had no idea where they were going. Did she think maybe he was gonna murder her? A bit. But, she felt comfortable around Harry. So, she felt it in her gut that she was going to come out alive from this… event.

When they got to the beach, it was about thirty minutes from Y/N’s house, and she had no idea where they were. They had to walk a short path to meet sand and ocean, but once they made it past the clearing, Y/N was in awe of the site ahead of her. People could think that seeing the ocean every day ruins the peaceful and magical aura surrounding it. But, Y/N never gets sick of greeting it. The sun was beginning to set, and the water was glowing with a yellow-pink hue by the horizon that blended into a bright blue by the shore. The cliff sides around them guarded the little alcove, feeding into the tranquil atmosphere.

“How did you find this place?” Y/N wondered as she kicked off her sandals, and shimmied her shorts down her legs before kicking them over her sandals. The yellow bottom of her bikini was visible, and she turned her head just as Harry took a large gulp at the sight of her in front of him; Just for him. Her blue wet-shirt stayed on though.

It piqued Harry’s interest as to why she never took off her shirt. He understood for the competitions, but even when it was just a casual outing, just him and her, or them and their friends, she always kept it on. It wasn’t his place to ask, but he wished she would’ve broken this barrier down just this once. Just for him. “Tha’s a secret for me to know and you to maybe find out.”

Y/N let out a giggle - why? she didn’t know - and turned her attention back to the boy that brought her here, her eyes nearly popping out of her head as she caught Harry taking off his white t-shirt, now only clad in his little pink shorts next to his little pink board. His skin looked extra dewy, and his tattoos seemed to glint under the setting sun. Before she could devour him with her eyes, she picked up her board and took it with her, running down to the water and shouting, “C’mon slow-poke, gotta get in the water before the sun sets!”

It wasn’t a surprise to Y/N that this didn’t keep on track of a teaching lesson. Harry doesn’t need to be taught, he’s amazing on his own. He pulled off his own tricks that Y/N didn’t even know the name of, and she was asking him to let her in on his little secrets. He locked his lips in return, throwing the imaginary key somewhere over his shoulder, “Y’think I’m g’na tell you? I’m far too narcissistic to let you beat me at my own game.”

“Who said I’m gonna beat you?”

“Have you met you?”

There’s a reason Y/N’s name circulates throughout people’s brains, why her name is common in any Hawaiian household, why Harry was itching to meet her. She’s good at what she does. Insanely good that it’s kind of concerning. Not everyone can come back from a life-altering experience, but Y/N took those stereotypes and crushed them beneath the tail of her infamous yellow surfboard. She reveled in the doubts and came back stronger than ever. Of course she would beat him at his own game. She’s the only one who could.

There wasn’t any telling how long they had been riding wave after wave, in the water with no one else but just each other. But, the sun almost halfway past the horizon line was a good giveaway. They were probably nearing the two hour mark, and they knew they couldn’t stay out here all night, but Jesus, how they wished they could. Y/N wasn’t expecting to be so content, thinking this would be some strange, awkward, uncomfortable time they would want to forget about the moment they left each other’s sides.

It’s the opposite.

Just for him. Just for her.

They both laid on their boards, limbs sprawled out and dangling into the water as their bodies shut down in exhaustion. Y/N can’t remember the last time she went so long without taking at least a ten minute break. Her body was most definitely not used to it as she felt her back mold into her little yellow board, accepting the relaxation. When she finally opened her eyes back up, she turned her head to the side, admiring Harry’s profile as his arms were pulled over his head, the skin of his torso being stretched, which also stretched the ink that adorned him.

Y/N got lost in the mirage that is Harry, that she didn’t even realize he had turned his head and caught her ogling. It wasn’t until he cleared his throat that her eyes snapped to his, heat traveling up through her body and rushing to her cheeks. “M’eyes are up here, love.”

“Uh- right. Yeah, I know.”

“Cool. Hey d’y’wanna play twenty questions?” He asked, sitting up to straddle his board and paddling himself around so he was facing her. 

Y/N squinted her eyes, “Are we children?”

“I mean, I guess not. Doesn’t stop my five year old humor though,” he smiled, kicking his foot up to splash her with an inkling of water as his childlike, petty comeback. “You ask first.”

Y/N pushed her hand through the water to spray him in an ounce of sea salt before turning her head back to the sky, contemplating her first question. “Mm… favorite color?” She already knew the answer.

“And you asked me if we’re children? C’mon, darling, know you wanna know more than tha’. Pink. What was your first impression of me?” He wiggled his eyebrows, even though she couldn’t see his face. This has been one of those things that’s been nagging at the back of his mind ever since they first met. Their first encounter wasn’t awkward per-se, but the fleeting moment of introduction wasn’t exactly one worth remembering either. But, Harry was always going to remember it. And depending on Y/N’s answer, he hopes she will too.

At this, she turned her head back to Harry, hand covering her eyes as the sun glared at them over the reflective water. It was a sight to behold, seeing Harry glow in the golden hour light. “Intimidating. But, also unique,” she began, moving to sit herself up and paddle her board around so she was now facing him. “You remind me of a singular cloud in an otherwise clear sky. You’re not meant to be there, yet you’re not out of place.”

Harry sat for a moment, staring. Completely in awe. Head over heels. Never would’ve guessed those words to be the ones tumbling from her lips. It was the way she didn’t hesitate in her sentence, as if those words had been formulated a while ago and just now was she able to spew it from her wordbank. Just for him. “Fuck, that was beautiful. Your turn.”

“Do you really think you’re better off alone?”

Harry pursed his lips, looking off into the distance for a brief moment before shrugging, “I do. But, I don’t. If it comes down to going back to my family and friends from home or being alone, I’ll choose being alone.” And he wanted to sprinkle in the little bonus that he doesn’t feel alone when he’s around her, but something tells him that’ll just turn her away. “What’re you so afraid of?”

It’s a brash question Y/N wasn’t expecting to be thrown at her so suddenly. She has a mix of answers, and there’s a specific one flashing in her mind like a bright, neon yellow sign, but she’s not certain how comfortable she is with telling him yet. Though, she notices that whatever question she could throw his way, he’d answer it truthfully, not scared of opening himself up, just for her. She wants to be brave like that, and maybe she can be, but she’s not sure how.

It comes as a surprise to her when she does say, “I’m scared of going through everything that happened last year all over again. Everyone’s afraid of dying, or at least most people are, but experiencing death… there’s really no coming back from that. ”

“Experiencing it?” He looks at her wide-eyed.

“What, you haven’t heard of what happened last year?” She looks at him, eyebrows scrunched. 

“Only know you had some accident. No offense, but I didn’t really bother myself with reading the fine print,” he shrugs, running his pruney fingers through his salted hair. He didn’t know if he wanted to read it, especially not with the sudden news that apparently this very alive, lively girl in front of him… died? He doesn’t think he could stomach reading about that.

Y/N hasn’t met a single person who hasn’t heard about what happened to her. Or at least the details of it. In reality she doubts anyone outside of Hawaii knows of her existence, but in her world it was the biggest news to affect the state in a while -- aside from, like, actual serious matters, her accident was up there on the news.

She evades his second question though, not wanting to cough up the traumatic details of her past; not yet at least. “Well, it’s my turn anyway. Why surfing?”

“I could just look it up, but I get it; you’ll tell me when you’re ready,” he gave her a playful look, pursing his lips while giving her a pointed stare. “It’s different. England isn’t known for surfing. It’s known for rain and football. But, with every possible detail of m’life, I wanted to make sure I was different. My dad wanted me to become a professional footy player, so I said no. M’mum wanted me to go and get a degree and a real job. I didn’t want that. So, I turned to surfing,” he swung his arms around, gesturing to the vast sea and the board below him.

“Plus, it’s given me an excuse to leave home and come here. And y’know, so I could meet you.”

Y/N felt a small blush creep up her skin again, her eyes shooting down to her lap and her feet that were distorted under the water. Harry’s infatuation with the girl isn’t a secret, but anytime he purposely makes it known, it’s like a little secret that she’s unsure if she’s supposed to know or not. “Meet me?”

Harry kicked his foot up again so water would splash at her. “Uh-uh, my turn,” he laughed, shaking his head. He knew she thought she was slick at the way she bit her lip, containing her laughter. If she wants to play by the rules of the nonsensical game, then so will he. “Sunrise or sunset?”

“Sunset. Favorite song?” She wanted to reel back from the serious talk for a moment.

“Too many to choose from. Favorite movie?” He wanted to know every nitty-gritty detail about her.

She pondered for a moment, “Mamma Mia.”

“No shit! Me too!” His mouth dropped in shock, his hand flying up to his chest. 

“Really?”

“No,” he shook his head, immediately blocking the massive splash he sensed coming. 

Y/N rolled her eyes, huffing at him whilst crossing her arms over her torso, “Are you always so insufferable?”

“S’my middle name, babe. You hungry?” He laid himself down on his board on his belly, paddling himself to face the beach, ready to make a head start for the beach. Y/N hummed a response, following in suit and settling her stomach against the belly of the board and pushing herself to land. “Cool, let’s go get something to eat then I’ll take you home.”

Y/N’s legs felt weak, yet appreciative back on the sand. It felt like she was walking on Jell-O as she went to pick up her towel and clothes. Looking down to her shirt, she knew it was out of the question to let him see her take it off. And she could turn her back so he wouldn’t see her front -- whether or not it’s clad in a bikini top -- but even then her heart raced at the thought. She held her t-shirt in her hands and thought it over for a moment before blurting, “Could you turn around please?”

Harry looked up from checking his phone quickly, tilting his head in confusion before looking down to the shirt in her hands. The dots are connected and the bright neon pink sign in his head is telling him to listen to her, and not to question it. So, he doesn’t. Just for her. It’s still unbeknownst to Harry why she never takes her shirt off, but he knows better than to think with his dick, and accepts her wishes, turning his back to her. 

Y/N lets out a small breath of relief, grateful he didn’t question her on it. She’s quick to rip off her shirt and pat dry her wet skin before hastily throwing on her dry one, giving Harry the OK to turn back around. 

“Sorry, I just… I’m not comfortable with anyone seeing my, uh, my scar,” she mumbles, nervously moving her hair from one shoulder over to the other. Harry shrugs in response, picking his board up from the ground and wrapping his arm around her shoulder as they began their walk back to his car.

“You don’ have to explain yourself to me, babe,” he smiled down at her, squeezing her to his side softly.

Y/N looked up at him, and she’s sure that if she could see herself right now, her eyes would be twinkling in delight, with adoration. Just for him. “Thank you.”

They didn’t say anything else for a few minutes, walking the distance to his lonesome Jeep in peace. The silence gave Y/N time to think and to mull over all of the gushy feelings she was feeling inside about the guy beside her. She had no reason not to like him, realizing it was only fear that was pushing her away. But, this night displayed a soft side to Harry that she fell head over heels for. His smooth, easy-going approach to life, mixed in with respect for her, and a hint of witty humor was enough to tell her how she truly feels about him. And she’s scared, not because she’s afraid, but because she’s not.

Y/N can find herself easily opening up to Harry quicker than she has anyone else because she trusts him. She can just tell he’s got nothing to hide, so in-turn she wants to be the same. She doesn’t want to cower away, but revel in happiness. Because she deserves it.

Harry quickly secured the boards back into their previous spots before sliding into the driver side and whisking them away from their little getaway. The wind swept through their hair and chilled their still slightly wet skin, causing goosebumps to trail up Y/N’s arm as chills raked through her body. This time around in the car they both were more laid back, not singing along to the songs playing on the radio but rather just listening and taking in the blissful atmosphere they’ve created.

There’s been one question dancing across her mind though ever since he brought up the little game of twenty questions. It was the first one to pop up in her mind when she was thinking of something juicy to ask. She didn’t want to ask it though, in fear of what his answer would be. But, now she’s not afraid. She’s curious though.

“Is this a date?” She queried, turning the volume of the radio down a bit so he could hear her and vice versa. 

Harry glanced at her through his peripheral, one eyebrow cocking up on his forehead, “Is the sky blue?”

“I mean, right now it’s like orange-blue,” she retorted, looking at the newly sun-ridden sky that blended shades of orange into the usual night blue. 

“Brainiac. There’s your answer. It’s however you want to look at it,” he digressed, reaching over to pat her thigh - in more of a friendly manner rather than sensual.

She appreciated his answer, absolutely adoring the fact that he wasn’t putting pressure on her about anything. It was hard to comprehend just how nice he truly is, and how someone could be so perfect. She couldn’t see a flaw in his looks or his personality or his morals, and all she could wonder was how someone like him could possibly like someone like her. “I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone like you, Harry.”

He side glanced at her again, this time raising both of his eyebrows in puzzlement, “I’ll take tha’ as a good thing?”

“It’s good. It’s… it’s a good thing.”

❊ ❊

The two of them had discussed where they wanted to go, neither of them wanting to decide and going back and forth with one another, saying, “No, you decide,” “No you.”

Y/N was never good at decisions, especially mundane ones like where to eat. She always lets Kalani decide because she could eat anything, and it’s her friend that’s the picky one. But, Harry is the same way. Whatever is put in front of him, he could probably eat (except for pickles, he absolutely hates pickles).

They settled for pizza. And it was going to be Harry’s first time trying a slice of Hawaiian.

Y/N hates Hawaiian slices, finding the sweetness of the pineapple and the savor of the ham unsettling atop her pizza. It sends her taste buds into shock and her mind into a meltdown. But, she insisted he try it, because how could someone be in Hawaii and not try its state-named slice?

They sat at their little table in the corner of the restaurant that was alongside a window, giggling to themselves as they played a little game of eye-spy, waiting for their food. For some odd reason, Harry was really good at this game, always picking the hardest of objects to point out, always stumping a frustrated Y/N.

“You’re cheating.”

“How the fuck am I cheating?”

“Dunno, you just are.”

And in retaliation to her accusation, Harry pointed to her shirt, stating she got a little soda on it, causing her to look down to her chest and see nothing but finger as he flicked her nose. “Too easy. Sore loser.”

Y/N huffed, sticking her tongue out at him. The playful banter between them was the best part of their days lately. Before Y/N even realized her feelings for Harry, she always looked forward to what they would bicker about -- in a friendly matter of course. Now, she constitutes that to just wanting to see him because she really enjoys his company, and him. 

It’s been a long time since she’s felt this way about anyone, and she’s sort of glad she gets to feel this way about Harry. He’s an enigma, but a good one. She’s totally transfixed by him and she never wants this euphoria to end. He radiates this bright and bubbly energy that lifts her mood whenever she’s around him, and she’s afraid of losing that. But, she chooses not to dwell on the what-if, instead completely basking in the present and his gooey aura of happiness. 

When the food finally came out, they both were quick to stuff their faces, their stomachs practically turning inside-out from how hungry they were. It came to no surprise to Harry that he was absolutely in love with this Hawaiian slice, already looking forward to ordering two more. 

Y/N looked at him a tad worried. He was scoffing down three slices as if there were no tomorrow, all within a matter of two minutes. She was slightly worried he was going to reach over and take her dinner, because that’s how hungry he seemed to be. But, he should know better than to get between Y/N and her food. Like the one time he tried to take some of her fries, to which she punched him in the shoulder and then took them back.

“Hey, y’gonna eat that?” He points to her not yet touched slice of pizza, earning a glare that could kill in response. “Cool, you are, just making sure. Can’t let precious food go t’waste. It’s my turn for a question right?”

Y/N thinks back for a second to determine if he’s right or not, remembering she did ask a question last. She nodded her head before biting into her little piece of heaven. 

“Was it hard getting back in the water?”

She brought her napkin up to her mouth to wipe away the drop of sauce she felt on her cheek, mulling over her answer. “Kinda. I knew I had to eventually because it’s all I know, it was just a matter of when. My parents were terrified, and I mean I was too but I can’t let that dictate my future. I love surfing and nothing is going to take that away from me.”

Not even something as horrifying as death could take her away from her true love. Not until she’s truly six-feet under, riding silver waves in the silver palace. 

“Do you think you’re going to stay here? In Hawaii?” Y/N wondered, taking a sip of her Coke.

“Got nowhere else to be,” he shrugged, mindlessly tapping his fingers on the table in an arrhythmic pattern. “Home is where the heart is, right? Well, think mine’s here right now.” Across from her. Just for her.

Home is where the heart is.

“Does it count if my heart isn’t mine?”

Last year, Y/N was going about her day like she always did. She was fine, in tip-top shape just like she had been for the past twenty years of her life. The bright sun was out and shining over all of the surfers and onlookers, and it seemed just like every other regular day. She was paddling out into the water, and the perfect, golden first wave was approaching her. She pushed herself up onto her feet, balancing her body, in tune with the wave, executing a nearly perfect opener. Then, she felt her chest tighten and her body suddenly felt weak. Breathing rapidly grew difficult, causing her to instantly panic. She fell off her board, plummeting into the water, trying to gasp for air but choking on the sea that swimmed down her throat. 

Feeling herself sink as her chest was on fire was the last she remembered. The baby blue sky blended into black and that was it. Her life was over. 

Kalani was the one who went in after her, screaming for help as her best friend was blue in the face and not moving. 

Y/N suffered a heart attack. Apparently, she had a condition called hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, that went unnoticed all her life. On this day, her heart had thickened extensively, making it difficult to pump blood to the rest of her body. The strain on her heart caused it to give out, right when she was feeling the high of riding a solid wave. She was pronounced dead for a total of forty-five seconds before EMT could revive her. Supposedly she’s lucky to be alive, because if not treated basically instantly, there’s a slim chance of survival. But, she was able to stick it out until the hospital.

Her heart was in brutal shape, so she was sent to the top of a donor waiting list. Y/N and her family are forever grateful for the team of doctors and nurses that stuck by her side, knowing she wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for them. Or her sheer luck.

Y/N felt a little crazy for feeling so comfortable spilling all of this information so suddenly to Harry, but at the same time she didn’t. And the best part about it is that none of it seems to freak Harry out. Nothing about who she is or how she is scares him. And that’s what makes her feel so comfortable. “My scar, it’s from a heart transplant. I had a heart condition all my life apparently. Then suddenly one day, it couldn’t handle it anymore, so it gave out. A girl named Shauna’s heart is keeping me alive right now.”

Harry didn’t blink for a whole minute.

He opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of water, trying to come up with something, anything to say to the girl across from him. But, he had nothing. He didn’t know what to say.

His silence was a little concerning to Y/N, making her wish she could just be swallowed whole by the ground below her. Was it too soon to drop the HT bomb? He was bound to find out eventually, and she figured it was best to rip the bandaid off on her own time rather than someone else telling him or him looking it up on Google. 

She’s kicking herself over it. 

Harry cleared his throat, taking a sip of his water before licking his lips and leaning back in his chair. “I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

Y/N merely shrugged, “Don’t be. Shit happens. Who knows, if it never happened we may not be here now.”

Harry raised his eyebrows, his signature small smirk back on his face in its usual spot. He raised his glass, leaning it forward a bit toward her, stating, “Cheers to that, babe.” She raised her own glass and clinked it against his, a smile on her lips as she sucked up the remaining bit of her soda through her straw. She’s happy he didn’t turn and run away.

Cheers to that, babe.

By the time they both filled their guts to the point of feeling overstuffed, mindlessly chatting and spending time together, it was already past ten o’clock. The time had passed them by like it was nothing, but they weren’t necessarily complaining. The older couple next to them were though. Y/N had to pull Harry out of the restaurant before he bit the woman’s head off for how rude she was. That’s when they knew it was time to skedaddle.

Then they just drove around for another hour before Harry figured it was time to bring her home, much to his dismay. But, when her head lolled against the passenger seat headrest and her eyes would softly shut in exhaustion. He wanted desperately to reach over and tuck the loose strand of hair that fell out of her ponytail, behind her ear. He wanted to reach over and place his hand on her thigh as they drove down the highway, softly squeezing her skin before teasingly inching up towards her hidden gem.

Is it too soon to be in love?

It was like a slap in the face when Harry parked in front of her house. Reality stuck its nose into their little wonderland bubble, and unfortunately, they couldn’t push it back out.

Harry hopped out of his seat, unfastening her board from the trunk and tucking it under his arm as they walked side-by-side to her front door. He gently placed it down where he had initially found it earlier on, tucking his lips into his mouth as he stuck his hands in his pockets.

“I uh… I guess this is it. I had a really ni-”

“I’ve got one more question before you leave me,” he interrupted her little speech, stepping impossibly closer to her, barricading her between him and the banister on her porch. It wasn’t hard to notice the long stares at her shiny lips that glinted in the dull yellow glow of the light by the door. He purposely took extra time to rake over the features of her face before finally meeting her eyes. 

Y/N swallowed nothing but air as she softly bit at her bottom lip, “Yeah?”

She already knew his question.

“Can I kiss you?”

He already knew her answer.

Y/N slyly looked at him, bringing her hands up, a bit hesitant to rest on his shoulders. “I thought this wasn’t a date.”

“Sky’s blue.” Y/N looks up at the sky and notices it’s dark blue hue, twinkling stars layers on top, surrounding the fullest, brightest moon. It was a beautiful sky, perfect to share a first kiss under.

He leaned forward, resting his forehead against hers as his hands came up to her hips. Her eyes fluttered shut, waiting for the climactic moment to overcome them, the air of the night chilling up her spine.

But, then she felt fiery, red hot as their lips locked together in a soft kiss. It was as soft as they felt towards one another. This giddy, slow paced, admiring kiss that had their insides melting but their hearts pounding. This kiss is exactly how Y/N images Harry. A pale yellow that’s not harsh on the eyes, that resonates happiness. Harry imagines it as a hot pink, one that takes his breath away and captures his mind.

It wasn’t long before it turned heated, Harry’s tongue sweeping into her mouth, and one of his hands travelling further south to grab hold of the flesh of her behind. Y/N let out a soft moan into his mouth as her hands tangled into his mound of curls, tugging softly on his roots.

Then the disturbing image of either one of her parents opening the front door at any moment flashed across her eyes, causing her to pull back, kissing his bottom lip softly before trailing her thumb over the swollen skin and opening her eyes to look into his gaudy, green ones.

The sounds of their breaths mingled together as tired smiles adorned their faces, little giggles leaving each of their mouths as they basked in what just happened. All Harry could think was, ‘It’s about damn time.’ All Y/N could think was, ‘Why did I ever push him away?’

“My turn,” she spoke after a few moments, standing up straighter and fixing her shirt around her body. “Pick me up tomorrow?”

A wide, shit-eating grin spread out across Harry’s face as he ran his hand through his mangled curls. “Sunrise. If y’not in this exact spot in the morning, m’knocking the door down and dragging you out by y’hair.” He hopped down off the porch, completely skipping the steps as the adrenaline of their first kiss kicked into his system.

“Sunrise,” she agreed.

He hopped back into the driver’s side of his Jeep, throwing his hand up in a goodbye wave as he sped away, already counting down the seconds until he would see his golden ray of bright and bubbly sunshine again. He’s not so sure if he’ll be able to fall asleep.

Y/N didn’t have that same problem. The moment she landed on her bed, her eyes shut faster than the speed of light, her last conscious thought being of Harry. Her smile never leaving her face. 

❊ ❊

Meeting at sunrise had become part of their routine. Not always to surf, but just to be together. Sometimes they surfed at their little alcove, other times they would watch the sun from her backyard, snuggled up in blankets on the beach. Or, they would surf, get breakfast, then fall back asleep in his bed until a more decent hour of morning.

But, their day always began at sunrise. It would be the equivalent to say that it also ended at sunset, but sunset was always too soon to part ways. 

This wasn’t an everyday occurrence, mostly at random. Except for Sundays. Sundays are specifically their day, as per request of Harry. How could he be in love with a girl that coined yellow as her color, that had a smile as bright as the huge burning star, that claimed golden hour was prime sun time, and not deem Sunday as their day? He didn’t put any second thought into it.

Despite their sort of fast paced first date, they’ve been taking things slow, truly getting used to the feel of one another over the course of the next couple of months. It wasn’t until a month later that Harry popped the question, officially making Y/N his forever buddy-buddy. Well, not necessarily forever, but they both know it’s basically forever.

Harry never wants to be alone again.

It wasn’t until the night after they became official that Y/N finally took her shirt off in front of him. She was going through one of her episodes, and Harry was the only one around who could help her. He managed to calm her down and bring her inside her house - that was empty because her parents had gone out for the night - and get her to the bathroom so she could take a shower.

Initially, he was going to let her get in by herself, knowing her boundaries in regards to her body and not seeing it. But, when he saw how worn down she looked, he whispered words of reassurance in her ear, asking her permission to help get her in the shower. He wasn’t thinking with his dick, he just wanted to help the girl that didn’t know how to help herself.

Y/N looked him in the eyes, nibbling softly on her bottom lip before averting her attention to her chest for a few moments. She trusts him, and if they’re bound to work out, she needs him to be comfortable with seeing all aspects of her both mentally and physically. Which includes her scar. 

So, she nods her head in agreement.

She lifted her arms and allowed him to remove her shirt, immediately feeling self-conscious. She couldn’t look him in the eyes as she stepped out of her shorts and underwear, going into the shower to avoid any lingering stares. Harry was quick to follow behind her, shutting the curtain after him. That’s when Y/N turned around and completely broke down, the tears that have been building behind her eyes finally pouring out. Harry wrapped her in his arms, letting her cry her eyes out for however long she needed.

When she stopped, Harry washed her hair, washed her body, washed away her bad thoughts, then washed himself as fast as he could so he could get her into her bed for the night. She snuggled up to his side, enjoying the warmness of his body that contrasted her cool ones. 

That night when her parents came home, they spotted Harry’s Jeep in front of their house. Though when the house was eerily quiet, and found the door to her bedroom slightly ajar, they peeked inside and saw the two of them fast asleep. Parents usually would get angry at the sight of their child in bed with someone of a different gender, but not Y/N’s parents.

Over the last two months, they saw their daughter break back out of her shell, slowly returning to her former self, and all because of Harry. They saw how happy she became whenever he was around, or they’d overheard happy she was when just talking about him to Kalani. How could they ever get angry at the fact that Y/N was happy?

With the blossoming of their relationship taking place at the same time as the Vans Triple Crown, word got around fast and soon enough they were the star couple leading the ranks in their respective divisions. The world -- or really the surfing world, because no one really pays attention to professional surfers, was in awe of them. They were the hype of the news, of the town, of the state. Rightfully so, because they’re awfully cute. 

It came as no surprise to everyone when the two were crowned the champions. The press went wild with this one, stating there was some scam happening behind the scenes, because what were the odds that this new star couple could both win? Or, how could Harry, a newbie, shoot his way up to the top in just one year? Or, how could Y/N dominate with her physical ailments? 

There wasn’t a hoax and there wasn’t any cheating. They both were just that good.

The day of the final competition, they may have worked just a little harder to land the championship title. Harry had picked Y/N up and they traveled to their secret hideaway bright and early in the morning. After being out at a party the night before, the two were in no shape to get in the water already, opting to snooze under the shade of a cliff on the beach for a little while. 

They didn’t sleep for very long before they got wrapped up in one another, indulging in a morning session of intimate love. They slept for maybe an hour before Y/N was ready to get her swim on, but Harry was the biggest sack of lazy mush that morning. He didn’t want to get up for nothing. He was laying down on his surfboard, completely comfortable under the shade. Y/N tried tugging on his arms to get him up, but he wouldn’t budge, a half-sleepy and dazed smile on his lips.

At one point he tugged her back, causing her to land on his lap, legs straddling his hips as her face crashed into his chest. His arms wrapped around her back, securing him to her as he said, “See? Isn’t this so much better than physical activity?”

“C’mon tubby, we got shit to do,” Y/N giggled, but Harry just held onto her tighter and nuzzled his cheek to the top of her head.

He hummed, “S’comfortable here.”

Y/N didn’t know what else to do, so the only maneuver left was bribery. Harry’s no different than any guy in the sense that once sex is brought into the mix, his ears perk up and his dick stiffens. So, Y/N was going to use that to her advantage. “If you get up, you can fuck me all night tonight.”

Harry was quick to sit up, her still in his lap, eyes squinted in suspicion. Y/N bit her lip to refrain from laughing, but she was mentally patting herself on the back. His hands shifted down her back to grab onto the flash of her behind, pulling her center closer to his and building up a bit of friction. “How about right now and tonight?”

“I can’t be exhausted for today, H,” Y/N rolled her eyes, moving to get herself off his lap, but he kept her grounded.

“You don’t ‘ave to get in the water now. You’ve practiced, you’re prepared, you got this. The championship is practically in your hands already,” he disclosed, peppering kisses up the side of her neck, a few across her jawline, and then landing on her lips.

Even if that may be true, she doesn’t want that to stop her from putting effort and time into winning. “Harry…” she started, getting lost in the feel of his lips suckling a lovebite right in the crook of her neck, her most sweet spot. He lifted his hips up slightly, pushing against her heat, eliciting the smallest moan from her mouth.

“Bet y’soaking your suit. Can I see?”

They only have a limited amount of time before they need to get to the Northshore at Ehukai Beach Park for the competition. It was about a forty-five minute drive alone. But, Harry’s lips and fingers were way too persuasive, so Y/N nodded her head.

“Good girl.”

He lifted her up so her back was now against the belly of his pink board, her legs immediately wrapped around his broad shoulders as he placed a chaste kiss to her clothed core. She whined as he hooked his fingers into her bikini bottoms, dragging them tortuously slow down her legs. His eyes immediately attracted themselves to her glistening slit, her wetness practically inviting him in. “So fucking pretty, baby.”

Harry’s hands pushed her legs as far apart as they would go, licking a fat stripe up from her little hole to her sensitive clit. Y/N threw her head back as he focused his attention on her clit, swirling his tongue around the little bud before sucking it into his mouth. She was a whimpering mess, but that earned her a smack on the ass and a first warning from Harry.

“No one’s around. Let me hear you loud and clear,” he gave her a pointed look, keeping their eye contact as he went a little further south, pushing the tip of his tongue into her cunt. Y/N tried closing her legs around his head but Harry just pushed them open further, keeping a firm grip on her thighs that were bound to leave bruises. Bruises just for her. 

Her jaw fell slack, moans tumbling past her pink lips louder and louder. Her nails dug into his shoulders, most likely leaving scratches he’ll find later when they’re stinging in the shower. Just for him.

Y/N was growing restless as he inserted his middle and ring finger inside of her, pushing and pulling them at an intense pace that caused her toes to curl in the sand by his hips. When he managed to push his index finger in alongside the other two, Y/N began to see stars at the stretch of her walls.

“So tight f’me. Imagine it was my cock instead. Would feel so good and full, but you’d be too exhausted for later, hm?” He cooed, letting her adjust to the extra digit inside of her before fucking her harder and faster than before. He kissed up her tummy that was visible from under her shirt before landing his forehead against hers.

His free hand grabbed a hold of her jaw, making her face him which caused her eyes to open up quickly, locking eye contact with one another. “S’a shame. M’so hard, like a fucking rock. But you’ll be too tired.”

Teasingly, Y/N nodded her head in agreement, earning a hard glare from her lover. At this, he stopped the movement of his fingers, slowly pulling them out of her. Y/N’s mouth opened wide, her eyebrows scrunching in confusion as Harry sucked his fingers past his lips, indulging in her sweetness that tasted like a little sliver of heaven. 

“Wh-wha…?”

“Close y’mouth, Y/N. Gonna catch flies,” he smirked, reaching over for her bikini bottoms and sliding them back up her legs until they were nestled against her soaking wet, throbbing pussy. “Said it y’self. Can’t be exhausted for the finale today, gotta be quick on your feet and coasting the gnarliest waves. C’mon slow poke, gotta get some practice in.”

So, Y/N was pissed off to say the least. And because of this, she was extra determined to push herself as far as she could to come out on top today. Harry on the other hand, well he was just mad that he had an insane hard-on that his own girlfriend didn’t want to tend to. He should’ve expected his little stunt wouldn’t go over nicely, but the look on her face when he stopped was absolutely priceless.

When it was announced that Y/N and Harry had won in their divisions everyone was beyond elated at the news, cheers and hugs and kisses spread all around the group. Though when it was their turn to congratulate each other, they looked at each other, small smiles on their faces before they turned to make conversation with someone else. That didn’t stop them from reaching for one another though, slyly interlocking their hands together.

They were whisked away quickly for pictures, holding their trophies high in the air, the biggest smiles on their faces. Y/N’s parents were cheering them on, more specifically her because they were so proud she was able to take her life back. Y/N could cry at the sight of her mother being a blubbering mess, and her dad’s admiration sparkling across his eyes. Though, with the support of her family, Y/N’s mind couldn’t help but wonder about Harry’s family, and how they couldn’t support their son with what he loved. 

With this, Y/N squeezed his hand harder, and despite the cameras around them, she leaned up on her tiptoes and placed a kiss to his lips, the clicks of the cameras and the chatter of the crowd increasing. But, neither of them cared as they looked at one another, full of love.

Because that’s what this was. Love.

It didn’t matter that they had only met a little over three months ago, only dating for two months. They were in love. And that’s all that mattered.

Going out to dinner that night, they hardly left each other’s sides. They were being that obnoxious clingy couple that no one likes being around, but they didn’t care. Because they both knew they were in love. An unspoken love that didn’t have to be announced because the whole world knew, and so did they.

“Cheers to the love birds! And for the love of God, could you stop looking at each other like that,” AJ gagged, causing everyone to laugh before they clinked glasses.

When they left the restaurant, Harry and Y/N hopped into Betty, driving around for a little while before they decided to stay at his for the night. It was when the wind was blowing in her hair again, the moon shining above them and shining through her hair, his hand gently on her thigh, squeezing softly in contrast to that morning, that Harry truly felt it. This love that he has for this girl. Love that’s meant just for her. Her, and only her.

This gushy feeling was put on hold for a little while though the moment they walked through the door of his apartment. Y/N was bent over the arm of his living room couch, her one leg bent and on the armrest beside her while the other was trying its best to keep her steady on the ground. Harry’s fist was wrapped up in her hair, proving to make it more difficult for her to keep her balance. Though she wouldn’t want it any other way. 

“What’s the matter, babe? You said I could fuck you all night.” Harry’s hot breath coated the shell of her ear, “Y’tired?”

She gasped at a particularly hard thrust that felt like it had hit against her cervix, trying to get the word No out in between her moans and whimpers. 

“Hope not. Had me aching all day for your tiny cunt. M’gonna need a few hours to really appreciate it.” She could feel his menacing smirk against her skin as he again thrusted so far deep inside of her, her one leg gave out. If it wasn’t for Harry holding her up, she would’ve fell right over, too weak to even try and get back up.

They went twice on the couch before Harry helped her get to the shower, where they did it again. And then when they finally cleaned themselves, they got into bed, where they did it again, but this one could be classified under love-making. It was slow and sensual and sweet, just like them. Harry paid extra attention to her scar, trailing down the tissue with soft kisses as they softly climaxed together.

It was a little past midnight at this point, and they were both extremely tired. Y/N was on the brink of dozing off into dreamland before Harry interrupted her exhaustion. 

“We never finished our game of twenty questions, did we?” He murmured, pushing a strand of her hair behind her ear.

Y/N lazily opened her eyes, shaking her head, “Don’t believe so.”

“Think it’s my turn,” he hummed. “Do you love me?”

There was silence for a brief couple of seconds, making Harry think Y/N had dozed off before answering his question. But, Y/N just needed those seconds to collect her mushed thoughts inside of her mushy brain before giving him a coherent and valid response.

“Yeah. I do.”

Harry smiled, probably the biggest he’s ever smiled, leaning down and taking hold of her face and smashing their lips together in a ceremonious kiss.

“Sick. Ditto, Sunshine.”

[sparring-hyena]

the 5 stages.

thanks @cloakanddaggerthings for the gentle nudge with this one.

OR, Poppy’s five stages to accepting that she’s in love.

-

1. denial.

a natural starting point for most things.

Poppy denies most things in the beginning. not because she necessarily wants to, it’s just how her brain’s wired.

she had denied the truth of her paternity when she first found out. had spent years pretending that it didn’t exist all so she could preserve some fantasy of a happy little family.

it hadn’t worked and the fallout had been disastrous. but each time something new comes along, each time she tries to deny again, she always insists that it won’t end that way.

so she denies whatever it is she can feel for AJ. denies it so vehemently that she’s almost able to convince herself that there’s absolutely nothing there.

she says i hate you and goes out of her way to prove it. but sometimes when she says it, AJ will give her an odd look, almost like she can see right through the denial and understand what it really is.

“it’s a self-defence mechanism,” AJ will say so many years later as she gets into bed beside Poppy.

“no it’s not,” Poppy will say, because of course she will. she’ll glance over at AJ through the reading glasses she had insisted she didn’t need, and give her a look that’s lost all its malice but still tries to look intimidating.

but AJ will understand, because she apparently always has, and she’ll say, “okay.” and then she’ll give her a kiss before getting comfortable in bed.

2. anger.

it’s just before winter break in her senior year when the denial stops working. when she realises that she maybe doesn’t really hate AJ at all. and that the hate that she thought she felt was just misplaced frustration because it’s annoying how not annoying she is.

she spends the last few days before everyone goes home stomping around campus and the sorority. she doesn’t say anything to anyone—would never breathe a word of this to another soul—but she lets her actions speak the words that she’s too scared to say.

“alright, what’s wrong?” it’s Veronica who asks, who corners her in the kitchen late one night, and fixes her with a stare that says she’s done dealing with this. “you’ve been in a shit mood all week.”

“no, i haven’t,” Poppy says, because of-fucking-course it’s more denial that comes out of her mouth.

“you have, and it’s obvious that bottling everything up isn’t helping, so spill.”

“leave me alone,” she snaps.

“fine. when you’re ready to talk about it, come find me.” Veronica leaves and Poppy fumes because how dare she try read me.

she goes home for the break and spends most of it angry and annoyed. and when her phone buzzes with a text from AJ, wishing her a happy holiday, she’s fuming because she can’t understand why she’s being nice.

her mother notices. because for all her flaws, she still cares in her own way.

“you know you can talk to me about anything. your father doesn’t have to know,” her mother says as the two of them enjoy their coffee in the morning.

and maybe it’s because she’s tired of being angry or something else entirely, but Poppy says: “there’s this girl.”

“ah. i see.” and then her mother has the gall to smirk as she takes another sip of her coffee.

“there’s nothing to see. it’s just... complicated.”

“oh, i’m sure it is. take it from me, most things that are worth something tend to be.”

they’re talking around the issue again—always talking around, never talking toward.

“just,” her mother sighs and rests her hand on top of Poppy’s, “try not to be angry about this for too long. it’s all time that you won’t get back, okay?”

there’s a small amount of understanding that sparks to life in Poppy. because she does understand. understands what her mother is talking about and how she’s veering dangerously close to following a similar path.

but she still doesn’t understand the how or the when or the why did it have to be her? so the anger remains, but she can see her mother’s words for what they really are—an olive branch, an explanation, an apology. so Poppy says, “thank you,” and finds that she means it.

3. bargaining.

she doesn’t spend much time here. she just thinks what if i had done this instead? and grows frustrated with herself for not doing it.

so it’s mostly just more anger, and then the occasional thought crisis where she imagines how simple her life could be if she’d done just one thing differently. but it’s fine. she’s fine.

except when she’s, decidedly, not fine. it’s when she’s in bed most nights that her brain starts to wander. starts to conjure up all these little scenarios. it’s nothing too outlandish, just little moments where her and AJ are together and totally, completely in—

4. depression.

—love. she’s in love with AJ. but she hasn’t hit the acceptance quite yet, doubts that she ever will. so she falls into a... not quite a depression. she just seems to lose most of her bite.

her words aren’t quite so sharp and pointed anymore, or not nearly as much as they could be. maybe that’s worth something.

she sits alone at one of the picnic tables on the quad during lunch and sorta zones out as she tries to figure out what the fuck she’s going to do now.

someone sits down across from her, and if it were any other time, she’d definitely tell them to get lost. but it doesn’t matter much what she would have done. because AJ is sitting across from her eating a salami sandwich, and Poppy’s first instinct isn’t to tell her to go away, but rather it’s to ask how she’s been

“not too bad,” AJ says with a shrug. “you?”

Poppy shrugs too, unsure of how to answer that. because saying i’ve been really confused lately, but i’m pretty sure i don’t hate you and that i actually love you instead. and also i think my mom and i are getting better seems like way too much. but simply saying good hardly seems like enough.

but AJ looks at her and smiles and Poppy wonders if she understands anyway.

5. acceptance.

she’s known for months by the time she finally accepts it. has known in the way that she feels something so undeniably calm settle over her whenever AJ’s around. has known in the way that all her insults aren’t jaded anymore and are really just i love you’s in disguise.

they’re studying together when Poppy accepts it—AJ on her bed and Poppy at the desk. it’s quiet and it’s a Tuesday afternoon and Poppy knows beyond any sort of doubt that she’s in love.

she doesn’t say it though—not yet anyway. accepting it and saying it are two totally different things. when you say it, you put it out there into the world. you make it real, and Poppy isn’t quite ready for that, but knows that she will be soon enough.

and years later when their feud and i hate you’s and days at Belvoire are so far behind them that it’ll seem like a completely different life, AJ will ask, “when did you know you loved me?”

she won’t even have to think about the answer, it will just fall from her lips like it’s so damn obvious. “when you sat down and ate your salami sandwich,” Poppy will say without looking up from her book.

after a moment of silence she’ll take the reading glasses off that she finally accepted she needed, and look at AJ who’s smiling like they’re twenty-one again and falling in love for the very first time.

[fanficsandfluff]

The Wake-Up

Finally, I've crossed a fic idea off my daydream checklist! Enjoy!

Fandom: MCU, The Falcon and the Winter Soldier

Characters: Bucky Barnes, Sam Wilson, some Cass and AJ, a smidge of Sarah

Words: 2,010

Bucky hadn’t felt as well-rested as he had on Sarah’s couch, even despite being woken by her two boys. So, yes, maybe he did keep accepting offers to stay over. It helped his mental well-being, so what? He sought the rest and relaxation. Sam hadn’t even been there a few times, but it was still as welcome as ever. Sarah cooked great food. He brought her flowers the last time he slept over, and he loved the bright smile that sprung to her face.

“We need to clear a guest room all for you,” Sarah joked at the dinner table on one particular summer night.

“You can take Uncle Sam’s room when he’s not here!” Cass announced through a mouthful of grits.

Bucky grinned at all the jests and he knuckled Cass’s shoulder, “Oh, I’m sure Uncle Sam wouldn’t mind at all,” he always smiled whenever he heard ‘Uncle Sam’ being used to address the new Captain America. Brought a lot of nostalgia back, and even turned it into something positive.

But on the couch he remained, at least for the upcoming night.

Sam pulled up at 3 am, the whole house asleep. He had to get used to seeing Bucky on Sarah’s couch, but it was finally starting to become less surprising. As long as he was on the couch and not in Sarah’s bed, all things were fine by him. Sam tiptoed in after shedding his boots at the door, easing into the comfort brought to him just by being in the house. He adjusted the blanket by Bucky’s feet and pulled another corner over his bare arm, non-metal.

Sam smirked to himself. He always assumed Bucky possessed superhuman senses, so someone who decided to even step too close while he slept would be pulverized immediately. But no. The guy needed the sleep, he supposed. Bucky’s breathing pattern didn’t even change when Sam adjusted the blanket. Hmm… he could use this.

~~~

“Shhh, shhshh, hey guys,” Sam kissed his nephews on their foreheads when he woke them purposely later that morning. Dawn was just creeping over the bayou, shimmering the lights on the water.

“Wait, shh, you gotta stay quiet or you’ll ruin it,” Sam had his hand atop AJ’s head and he ruffled it around, making the older boy giggle.

“Ruin what?” Cass whispered.

“We’re gonna wake Bucky. The guy’s just always sleeping, isn’t he?”

Both boys shared identical grins, “Yeah, totally!” AJ slipped his glasses onto his face, Cass following suit.

And so the plot begun. Sam went to the bathroom with his nephews and gathered shaving cream after Cass had pulled a feather from his animal project from school. Sam explained what they’d be doing with these tools, since they’d never pulled this prank before (wow, Sam felt old).

AJ and Cass were practically vibrating with anticipation and giddiness. The trio snuck their way to the couch. Sam sprayed the shaving cream on Bucky’s metal hand since he knew how to not make the spray noise come out so loudly (and his human arm was tucked behind him on the couch so he couldn’t get to that one, okay? He didn’t go for the metal on purpose, he isn’t that cruel).

Sam pointed to Cass first as the three of them stood by Bucky’s head, hiding behind that edge of the couch, crouching. Cass stood and swiped the feather across Bucky’s forehead. No reaction. He gave it to AJ. AJ, more methodical, wiggled the feathered tip on the bridge of Bucky’s nose. Now he got his nose to scrunch, brow to furrow, but his arms stayed put. Sam next. He got the feather to move closer to Bucky’s nostrils.

“So close…” Cass whispered in the smallest voice, hands covering his mouth. AJ also put his own hand over Cass’s hands covering his mouth because of the comment.

Sam kept it up, even swiping around Bucky’s cheeks, when-- WHAM!

The boys both exclaimed, Cass jumping up and down excitedly while giggling. Sam laughed loudly, holding his stomach. The noise was a loud metal clang when metal arm connected with skull. It was hilarious.

Bucky shot up with a start, feeling his eyes covered in some kind of gook, and he practically gave himself a headache. He heard all the laughter and he sighed deeply.

“Gross…” he grumbled and wiped his eyes, not realizing his hand was the cause. He ended up smearing more shaving cream across his eyes.

“You got a little something…” Sam spoke, holding back more laughs. Anything to mess with Bucky was the highlight of Sam’s day.

Bucky got enough shaving cream off his face and wiped onto his pants to see again. He eyed the boys first, knowing he could scare them off quicker. He growled.

“Go go go!” AJ directed his younger brother, ushering him back towards the bedrooms, the two shoving each other and tripping over each other along the way.

Bucky’s eyes went to Sam immediately after.

Sam had to think quick. Run from a super soldier and inevitably get caught, or wake Sarah because there’s no way Bucky would do anything to him if Sarah was--- yeah, nope, not willing to face Sarah’s wrath either. Sam bolted out the front door, hearing the screen door clatter behind him. Not two seconds later he heard it clatter again, meaning Bucky was hot on his trail.

Sam ran through the yard, weaving between trees, feeling the dewy grass get kicked up under his bare feet.

Bucky threw himself at Sam when he had the shot and they both propelled forward, rolling in the grass for a few feet.

“Ow! Shit, Buck!” Sam exclaimed, groaning, feigning more pain than he was actually in.

Bucky was atop Sam, not falling for the act for a second. It took Sam a moment to look up and he burst out another laugh, unable to help himself. Bucky still had a white-painted face full of shaving cream, just now looking more smeared than goopy.

“You know you’re so dead and you’re still laughing? Where’d you get the balls…” Bucky tried to sound menacing, he really did.

“Nahah, no, you--” he cleared his throat, buying time so he could formulate a way out from under the Winter Soldier, “It’s good for your skin. Moisturizing. You look good.”

Bucky narrowed his eyes and his metal hand snapped to Sam’s when he tried to move, wrenching it up above his head. Sam was pinned. Now was the time he was getting nervous.

“It was all AJ and Cass, I just thought you should know.”

“Mmhm,” Bucky, man of few words, looked up and down Sam’s torso. He had him pinned. Now what to do. Bucky poked at Sam’s protruding rib. He did it again to the few above that one, making a little path of pokes.

Sam shifted under him, uncomfortable. His face looked much less jovial now. Annoyed. Good.

“Oh Sam, buddy, you never told me you were ticklish,” he drawled.

“I’m not--I mean, just stop. I’m sorry,” Sam apologized.

Bucky’s eyebrow actually raised. That was the whole fun of the game. Coaxing the apology. But of course Sam went and ruined that. Nice guy.

“For what?” Nice recovery, Barnes.

“For waking you up.”

Bucky allowed himself to quirk the corners of his lips, “Gotta be more specific than that,” and his one hand dug into the ribs on Sam’s right side. His fingers groped for the spaces in between and massaged his way in. Sam bucked and laughter was torn from his chest.

Sam was ticklish and only Sarah knew. Of course she knew, being the older sister. But dammit, he was never planning on Bucky Barnes figuring it out. And this was exactly why! The guy would be devastating!

“No! NohohoHO BUCKY!” Sam twisted side to side since that’s all the mobility he was allowed.

“What else are you sorry for? Here, I’ll give you the list,” as Bucky spoke, he had to raise his voice over Sam’s desperate giggles, hand switching to clawing at the other’s belly, “You woke me up with a prank. So there’s that. You lied and blamed AJ and Cass for something you 100% planned. You ran from the scene of the crime. Am I missing anything, Wilson?”

“Screhehehew you!” Sam got out before laughing louder as Bucky’s hand scratched at his armpit, “Stop! Stoppit, you fuhucking cyborg!”

“Oho! I’ll add that! Aaand, oh, and you lied to me about you not being ticklish. You said ‘I’m not,’” Bucky imitated Sam in a very stupid voice, “when clearly you are. Very. Very ticklish.”

Sam was pulling on his arms as much as he could without injuring himself. His veins popped, muscles straining. He was useless like this. Defenseless.

But he was laughing.

That was kind of nice.

Bucky contemplated letting go and allowing Sam to squirm. He liked having him at his mercy like this, though. Made him feel powerful… Hm.

Bucky kept Sam pinned with his vibranium appendage, and he wiped as much of the remaining shaving cream off his face as he could with his right hand.

Sam coughed as he sucked the humid morning air into his lungs. By now he didn’t know if the moistness he felt all along his back was from the dewy grass or from his own sweat.

“No, man, dohon’t,” he saw the absolute mischief painted on Bucky’s gleeful face and his raised shaving cream hand. Bucky planted his palm on the side of Sam’s face, chuckling to himself after the act.

“Aw, you-- you’re real gross, Barnes, you know that?” Sam spit out the imaginary shaving cream that got in his mouth.

“I think I’m just being fair,” Bucky pushed up Sam’s sleep shirt with his free elbow and he started tracing patterns with shaving cream along Sam’s belly. That got Cap giggling all over again.

“Buhuhucky, noho!”

“Keep giggling, Sam, it’s only gonna make me want to keep this up.”

Sam would swear up and down that that particular comment didn’t make him blush, but oh boy he felt his cheeks get warmer.

“I don’t g-gihiggle, asshole!”

“Oh, no?” Bucky switched to scratching at Sam’s taught tummy, the shaving cream making the experience extra slippery, causing Sam’s laughter to jump in pitch.

“I”m sorry!” Sam squeaked out before Bucky could even change tactics again.

Bucky chortled, “For…?”

“Everything! Eheverything you sahahaid!”

“Aww,” Bucky smiled. He pulled his metal arm back and just sat on Sam’s waist, still basking in the glow of winning like this.

Bucky leaned his head down closer to Sam’s, “I forgive you,” he said curtly. He watched the last few huffs and breaths of light laughs leave Sam’s lips. He could get headbutted being this close to Sam’s own face. Or kissed. Wait--

Bucky climbed off of Sam, sitting beside him in the grass. He pulled up the bottom of his shirt and wiped the shaving cream fully off his face.

Sam jabbed Bucky’s abs when the shirt came up and the Winter Soldier twitched.

Sam smiled wide. Bucky, eyes squinted at first, soon relaxed his face and allowed himself to smile back.

“Don’t do that again,” Bucky pointed a vibranium finger at Sam.

“Which part?”

“All of it.”

“You made Cass and AJ very happy.”

“Yeah, well…. They don’t need to prank me to be happy.”

“Yeah they did. Being mischievous. It’s all part of being little kids,” Sam sat up, head tilted Bucky’s way.

“Still.”

“Okay, I was trying to be thankful, jerk. Thanks for handling it like a good sport.”

Bucky looked over at Sam and he held his gaze for a few seconds. Did Sam like what just happened? Or was that just praise for him for not ripping Sam’s nephews limb from limb? Restraint?

“Oof, that brain malfunctions a whole lot, doesn’t it?” Sam was right back to teasing, “Code red!”

Bucky chuckled, head bowed. Sam, proud as ever to get that smile from the Winter Soldier, nudged him.

“You’re so stupid,” was all Bucky could think of saying. Sam laughed.