#and sexually abused by several women who he's been involved with

[dubacheryking]

and what if i told you that literally ever single song on unreal unearth is about dick and the various women that have ruined his life? what then?

[coochiequeens]

A TIM couldn't accept that his wife was not going to go along with his delusion and turned to the family annihilator route, a route associated with violent narcissistic men.

By Nuria Muíña García July 11, 2024

A man in Spain is alleged to have poisoned his wife and child in the midst of divorce proceedings following his declaration of a transgender identity. The court has now imposed a restraining order on the man, who has not been named, while the police investigation is ongoing.

According to Diario de Sevilla, the couple were engaged in divorce proceedings but were still sharing a home in Dos Hermanas when the suspected poisoning took place. While it has not been definitively confirmed, the motive for the divorce appears to have been the man’s decision to identify as a “woman.”

Shortly after choosing to split, the woman, whose identity has also been kept anonymous, began experiencing severe and sudden-onset stomach pain. She sought medical care and was told she was exhibiting symptoms of chemical consumption. Police quickly became involved, and an investigation was launched into what was then identified as a suspected poisoning.

Disturbingly, the couple’s 5-year-old son may have also been the victim of an attempted poisoning by his father. Medical tests are being conducted in order to verify whether he had been targeted as well.

Prosecutors speculated that the woman was poisoned by her husband using household pool care products that were mixed into her food. In response to the hypothesis, the court issued a warrant of entry to the couple’s home to gather evidence.

Yesterday, a Dos Hermanas court responsible for prosecuting violence against women heard statements from both the husband and wife, after which it decided to place a restraining order on the man. He is now required to stay 300 meters away from his wife, and has been denied contact to his son.

At the time of this writing, no arrests have been made, but police investigations are ongoing.

The case has sparked particular concern amongst Spanish women’s rights advocates, as they have noted that Spain’s exceptionally strict gender identity laws mean that, if prosecuted, the man will be treated as a “female” by the courts.

Further, crimes marked as “gender-based violence” in Spain result in female victims being provided with specific legal protections and resources to assist them in the aftermath of the crime. These resources may include assistance with divorce proceedings, child custody, and housing arrangements.

If the man’s legal gender marker change was completed before the poisoning took place, it would mean that the victim would have no access to these resources because her aggressor was a “woman.”

“Gender-based violence” is also considered an aggravating factor in violent crimes, and may result in a harsher sentencing.

The situation has lead some women’s rights advocates to speculate that the man had planned to murder his wife, but that he had changed his legal gender marker just before doing so to avoid “gender-based violence” being used as an aggravating factor in the event he was caught.

If the man is prosecuted, this would not be the first time in Spain that a male accused of domestic violence against his female partner was prosecuted as a “woman.”

As previously reported by��Reduxx, a man in Catalonia who beat his female partner for opposing his transition avoided charges of gender-based violence by legally changing his identification to “female” and adopting a woman’s name just prior to being prosecuted.

The couple, who were in their 60s, had been together for 11 years, but after the man began expressing an interest in crossdressing, the woman asked to break off their intimate relationship. He became violent towards her, and began sexually and physically abusing her in retaliation for her refusal to participate in his fetish.

After seeking help with the police, the woman discovered he had already changed his legal sex marker, and thus she would not be provided any protections for female victims of male crime.

At the time, Reduxx spoke with Núria González López, the legal advisor for the victim, who explained that “the abuser’s change of his legal sex means that, in the eyes of the law, the female in the situation is not at risk. This means the victim has fewer rights.”

In February of 2023, the Spanish government enacted what is colloquially known as the “Trans Law,” which instituted a “no questions asked” policy for those who declared they were transgender. The law also made it significantly easier for individuals to change their name and legal sex, hastening the process for applicants and removing any medical requirements.

Since the institution of the law, Spain has seen concerns right about the rise in “trans fraud,” in which males change their legal sex marker simply to gain legal or professional benefits.

In Ceuta, an extremely small Spanish autonomous city located in the North African coast, 37 male civil servants are known to have changed their registered sex in order to obtain benefits assigned to women.

Most of the men are members of the Army, the National Police, the Civil Guard, or the Local Police of the city. The men all share a pattern in that they change their legal sex marker while keeping their “male” name.

What Motivates Family Annihilators?

Angry over the family breakup

A need for power

Suffering from a personality disorder

Unable to cope with personal failure

See whole article

[newrww]

i hate getting into these debates but asian teen girl exploitation and p0rn fan menalez is using child brides in the US to deflect from what happens in the middle east (got blocked for making this post to @ her)

Children forced to have sex by their mothers for money

The two sisters agree to speak with Stacey after spending time in prison, claiming that the children were to blame for the crime

Stacey, who has spent a decade making films for BBC Three, spends time with an undercover Homeland agent named ‘Mike’.

Mike has made contact with the women by creating a fake persona, and to gather the evidence he needed he asked the women what they would allow their children do.

He explained to Stacey that the mothers were willing to be directed by paying customers over a webcam to complete horrible acts on their children in return for money.

Mike said: 'Some of these guys sometimes ask for the most horrendous abuse of a child.

'They could ask for a child to be lit on fire, basically tortured. Some of these guys you read their [online chats], they’re obviously terribly sick people, they’re monsters.’

Stacey had access to a live sting operation coordinated by the Homeland task force involving two mothers - who are also sisters.

They arranged to meet with Mike at a private villa where they explained their girls 'can do sex’ before he handed over money as part of the transaction.

[...]

Some southeast Asian Women who either facilitate or benefit from child sex trafficking have been interviewed saying that because children are supposed to be self-sacrificing and submissive, them acquiescing to their own sexual abuse is not only condonable but an ‘admirable’ show of obedience. When unscrupulous, brain dead shitheads willing to allow the torture of any child for their own material benefit exist, and are common enough, what does that say about people in general? 

Many will turn their noses up and assure others that they find this morally repugnant and maybe they put stock in the idea that it’s just these strange people across the ocean committing these deeds, doubling down on their ethnocentrism.

---

I just watched Undercover with the Clerics: Iraq’s Secret Sex Trade and what has been impressed in me is that cruelty proliferates because none wants to be held accountable, not the victimizer, not those facilitating the victimization, not the population where this occurs, not the religious leaders or lawmakers who pretend that their fucking religions and patriarchies aren’t fundamentally misogynistic and oppressive.

To preface, Iraq is in a precarious situation currently, religious clerics were quoted to ‘have set women’s rights back decades’ and some even command armed forces. Women are compelled to wear hijabs/boushiyas and abayas in public, especially in the south. A woman or girl (aged 15 and over) can be married and only if they are a virgin according to state law. But shia clerics were willing to perform temporary ‘pleasure marriages’ (which is an arrangement under which a man can have ‘halal’ sex with an unmarried girl or woman) involving girls as young as 9,with the accompanying ‘legal’ documents if requested. Several of these clerics captured on hidden camera confidently assured the man they were talking with that a nine year old girl is “mature” enough for sex and that concerns over whether sex with a child constitutes exploitation are absurd. If the man did not penetrate from the front, or if he had anal sex with her she would still be considered a virgin and that this was the only matter of concern here. 

The clerics insisted that if the child needed protection her male guardians had to provide it. So they had no reservations about accepting money in exchange for giving out a ‘pleasure marriage’ license that could last an hour, a day. 

When grown women fail to understand that a potential partner is having them agree to a month-long ‘pleasure marriage’ instead of legitimate one and that they are within their rights to summarily dump them in the streets without a second word after it’s over…what hope is there for teens and children? Those fooled into these kinds of marriages by charismatic, wealthy men do not fare any better. A  girl who was tricked into such a ‘pleasure marriage’ at 14 and then blackmailed into silence says she was terrified because a cousin of hers who had been romantically linked to an unscrupulous man but ended up marrying another had been found to not be a virgin on her marriage day and then taken to be ‘washed of shame’ or killed by her male relatives.

The clerics knew that a 12, 13, 14 year old is vulnerable and that she could be killed for entering a ‘pleasure marriage’ with a man. But they did not hesitate to provide these licences because they faced next to no personal repercussions for doing so. They had significant privilege and power within their community, they are trusted because they are religious men. 

more refs:

Clearly this type of sexual exploitation is not exclusive to Asian/Pakistani men. Nevertheless, given the severity of these offences and long term impact they have on young people’s lives, it is important to question whether there are cultural elements influencing how perpetrators see young white girls. As a criminologist and former senior detective I have interviewed numerous second generation Asian-Pakistani men convicted of grooming and sexually abusing young vulnerable white girls. The majority claimed they were innocent and put forward theories of how the government, police, judges and witnesses had conspired to wrongly convict them. It was also clear that they did not see their victims as children and therefore did not consider themselves to be sex offenders. An example of this mindset was the leader of the Rochdale grooming gang, Shabir Ahmed, who failed to overturn his convictions at the European Court of Human Rights by claiming an all-white jury was part of a conspiracy to scapegoat Muslims. During his trial Ahmed repeatedly accused the judge, the jury, and the police of being part of a racist conspiracy against Muslims and said: “It’s all white lies.” The story (focusing on the victims in this case) was subsequently made into the BBC drama Three Girls.

Frost, an anthropologist, has noted on the decimation of the criminal population during the ‘war on crime’ period in England and the effect it’s had on the current state of pacified social relations in the west; something else that’s worthy of note is a decrease in the kind ‘amoral familialism’ that these clerics subscribe to which has also occurred according to Frost. Plus, Christianity and the resulting guilt culture that took hold  might have been facilitated by the fact that everyone was the same ethnic background, which fosters ‘trust’ apparently (Frost’s assertion, not mine). If you ‘identify’ with your community and find the status quo palatable I guess you have more of a stake in maintaining normativity, too.

[rathiman]

"Neil Gaiman publicly funded the defense of a guy who was charged with possessing child porn"

I really really do not want to be saying anything positive about this man, it is crystal clear that at the very least he massively exploited the power he had over two women half his age and guess what, that itself is enough to understand that he was very predatory with these women. That being said, I fully believe the victims who came forward and hope that there is some accountability and justice dispensed.

But, what is an extremely irrelevant tangent that several of these discussions are taking are talking about him funding the defense of a man who was being prosecuted fo possessing lolicon manga.

Firstly, yes he did do that and I'll link the article that Neil Gaiman wrote about this here. Tbh, I agree with some points he makes here, though his writing is very meandering and not very concise.

Possessing lolicon is possessing some material where a character is/looks like they are underage/preteen and they are written to be in/drawn to be in sexually explicit situations. In other words, it's a fictional depiction of fictional minor characters in an explicit manner. Now, child porn as defined in several jurisdictions entails a real child/minor being exploited sexually for pornography or a real human child/minor being written about/portrayed in a sexual manner. Essentially, lolicon is a fictional and explicit depiction of children/people who are perceived as children, who DO NOT exist while child porn, arguably, involves real children being abused.

For the morality based disagreements surrounding lolicon itself, firstly, yes, creeps might get off to lolicon and that is disgusting. Yes, sometimes lolicon might help foster the sickening motives some people have against children and that is also disgusting. But, do you really believe banning something like lolicon on a principle level is going to actually reduce the chances of a child being abused? Lolicon is not going to magically vanish from the face of the earth, it's still going to be circulated through illegal means, just like actual child porn is. But you know what banning lolicon will actually do?

Threaten actual exploration of uncomfortable themes like child abuse, exploitation and rape and meaningful themes like sex and sexuality in adolescents. Which depiction of a child/minor is obscene or not obscene, morally wrong or correct, will not be decided by you or me but by some old powerful men, probably conservative.

Another important consideration is that lolicon does not always have characters that are explicitly underage. It can also just contain characters with "childlike bodies" and it could be called lolicon. And who will decide what a normal body should look like as opposed to a child's body anyway? What about people with small body frames and flat chests? Because their bodies do not align with a conventional adult body, these bodies will be banned from being portrayed explicitly because someone on the internet has decided a body like that can only belong to a child? Do you see why what should be drawn/written and how it should be perceived cannot and should not be regulated with laws?

So yes, he did fund the defense of a guy who was being prosecuted for possessing lolicon manga. If you think that made him a sexual predator, please ask yourself If you should be drawing a common standard for writing about fictional underage characters and sexually abusing real women.

Focus on listening to the victims, withdrawing any support you have been extending to him and please please believe the victims. Speaking out against a powerful man is not easy and these women are very brave for coming out with their experiences.

[tadpole-apocalypse]

I talked about posting my Morgan lore dumps like a million years ago it feels, here is one of them finally in a coherent post now that all the emergencies in my life have calmed down. I have more that I’m cleaning up to be more readable.

Under a cut for talks of sad, sexually repressed cultists being abused.

Banner by @mercymaker ilu 😘

***

Morgan’s sexuality and ability to express it is very important to her. The cult she grew up in and was a part of until she was 16, was extremely repressed and any talk or expression of sexuality was both forbidden and punished severely.

Sex and procreation was entirely within the control and whims of their immortal cult leader who was breeding his own little human settlement, with meticulous attention to their genetics and lineage. As far as Morgan is aware, she was born in this environment. (She wasn’t, but that’s another plot thread I’m working on). Their cult leader was mostly detached from his followers day to day lives, only involving himself for medical procedures and certain rituals. He actually finds humans to be disgusting and dirty creatures and requires they shave off all their body hair and bathe frequently to be in his presence which becomes part of their religious doctrine over time. He mostly doesn’t care about the religion that they’ve created around him, he sees them as livestock and keeps the population carefully controlled so as not to attract any unwanted attention from either authorities or gods wondering why these souls aren’t available to them.

Feeling inherently dirty and inferior was a normal part of her childhood. As far as she knew, there were no men in the cult and she only grew up around other women. Morgan and her sisters were never allowed to leave, because her leader was too paranoid about his flock getting impregnated by random men and ruining the lineage he was working on. They were told stories of the wicked men that lived in the apocalyptic wastes outside their walls that would steal them away to ravish them. They were “taught” many ridiculous things of the outside world that had been told over many generations that she had to unlearn when she finally was free of this environment.

Any of the women who gave birth became part of an elevated class in their society, as motherhood was pretty much the only objective they had; birthing more subjects for the Father’s experiments. All their lives revolved around attempting to please this detached Eladrin who controlled them entirely and barely treated them as sentient creatures. Female babies were raised communally, male babies were handed over to the Father for unknown purposes.

Self pleasure was dirty and forbidden, they had some of the girls policing the others to report back to the head mothers, checking hands under blankets and generally anyone found masturbating was punished by whipping, and frequent repeat offenses involved a chastity belt.

Morgan has had strong sexual urges as long as she can remember and it’s always something she was getting in trouble for. Getting caught fooling around with the other girls or on her own earned her many beatings. and she has scars on her back and shoulders from these punishments.

Her wild magic began to emerge as she reached adolescence. It became disruptive enough that Their Father took and interest in her and then shunt her magic off entirely with a powerful magic item (sussur powered). She had no access to her magic for 2 years, until the item came off with catastrophic results.

[mercyll]

Ranting about themes of sexism and patriarchy in JWQS because I can

(Major spoilers for JWQS and TW: Talks of sexual assault, violence against women, sexism)

Whenever I read JWQS I can't help but feel the commentary and criticism on sexuality, the treatment of women by society, and the distribution of power in gender dynamics is as much of a criticism and exploration of middle age as it is for the modern era.

This story really is able to breathe life into what life would have felt like in the Middle Ages and how complicated the social structures were.

A huge theme of the story is the caste system. How men and royals are at the top and how women are at the bottom, which is incredibly accurate to human history. Women were seen as something that was only meant to be married and birth children.

JWQS really explores these misogynistic ideas and goes hard to explore the thoughts and feelings of women enduring this. Their anger of being viewed as lesser and their autonomy being crushed because of it. And above anything else shows women overcoming these obstacles and overpowering them.

From the moment Nangong Jingnu was forced into a child marriage against her will she was expected to have been intimate with Qi Yan and produced an heir, and everyone pressured her and asked her why she had not birthed a son yet many times in the novel. Because she was born a woman she was not allowed to be involved in politics and yet she ends up becoming the powerful female emperor.

Nangong Jingnu ends up becoming the most favored child out of all of Nangong Rang's children to proceed in ruling the kingdom and ends up becoming strong. She reads and studies and is sharp and quick-witted proving herself to be both academic and skillful and worthy to take up the role of a diplomatic leader.

Before her father's illness, she took charge of involving herself in the politics of her country like when they visited the grave and the air was cold and she requested her father not have the commoners bow to them as they passed by.

Even at fifteen, she was able to take that initiative with the encouragement of Qi Yan.

As an adult, she attends the courts behind a screen to conceal her female identity, pretending to be her father because, and holds strong until she is the sole leader of China.

Qi Yan literally has to pretend to be a man her entire life to have any power in society. Even though Qi Yan has a lower status than the royals and court officials due to being of "commoner birth" she still has status above women and is allowed to be in the court just by living as a man.

(I would love to write so much about Qi Yan and her gender and the complexity JWQS explores gender identity but this post would be 5000x longer)

Nagsi Jiya is an example of a character who despite her social standing uses her sexuality, charm, and wit to gain power. She knows how to manipulate people and uses that in her favor, playing herself through the social system by using her sexuality against men. She is empowered by her sexuality. She literally sleeps with the most powerful man in all of China and becomes his most favored consort. If that isn't a massive power move I don't know what is.

By being empowered and strong-willed, Nagsi Jiya teaches Nangong Shunu that she can be the same.

Just like her younger sister, Nangong Shunu was forced into a marriage against her will. But unlike Nangong Jingnu, who ended up with someone who truly loved her, Nangong Shunu ended up with an abuser.

Nangong Shunu is assaulted on her wedding night and constantly tormented by Lu Zhongxing. He follows her around knowing full well she is afraid of him but does it to try and control her. Nangong Shunu takes long baths after she is assaulted and suffers from nightmares and panic attacks from the trauma of what he did to her.

Nagsi Jiya ends up taking sympathy upon her and does everything she can to empower Nangong Shunu, as well as protect her from Lu Zhongxing on several occasions.

It was Nagsi Jiya who told Nangong Shunu to stand up for herself.

Nagsi Jiya teaches her that she doesn't have to be restrained by the society she was born into or the social conditioning of the patriarchy, that she can be free, and that love doesn't know a gender.

The moment they rode the horse together out in the fields is symbolic of the freedom that Nagsi Jiya shows Nangong Shunu.

Horses in general are used as symbolism for freedom in JWQS.

From this relationship, even if Nagsi Jiya was just using her (for the most part), Nangong Shunu is able to overcome the control Lu Zhongxing has over her and her sexuality and is able to liberate herself and find her one true love.

Now, we have the most tragic character in the series, Xiao-Die. The series never tells us in detail what happened to her but it's clear that it was a very horrific, violent long-term abuse, both physical, emotional, and sexual.

When Qi Yan finds her she is malnourished, close to dead, and pregnant from a violent attack. Her mind is completely broken, and she lacks any lucidness from the extent of the trauma she has been through from the men who hurt her.

And despite all of the things she endured, Xiao-Die gets to be happy. Her mind and memories eventually recover and she falls in love.

Both Nangong Shunu and Xiao-Die are sexual assault survivors and despite what happened to them they were able to find someone who truly understood them and selflessly loved them.

All the female characters in this story find themselves trapped in an oppressive sexist society and how they are able to overcome every obstacle that comes their way and find their own freedom.

And so many of these themes are still relevant now when talking about sexism and oppressive social structures against women.

There are so many other themes in this series I want to rant about like discovering and coming to terms with your sexuality and queerness in general but maybe I'll save that for another time.

[thelikesoffinn]

Hi you ! I saw your did posts and I'm really confused about one thing you mentioned: Why would Astarion having DID be so bad for the DID community? I am not trying to be mean or anything I just really don't understand what the problem would be. You said something similar in one of your other metas but with astarion being ace and I think I didn't understand that either.

Hello babes!

The thing that is bad for the DID community is not "Astarion having DID" it's the fact that he very obviously doesn't and people are claiming he does.

Many people take things at face value these days, especially over on tiktok, without putting the proper research or critical thought into what they just learned, which in this specific case could potentially project a wrong image of what DID is and how it works.

All things considered, Astarion might be doing little harm to the community as a whole because this example is simply just wrong. But there's other examples - I'm looking at you, "SPLIT" and "Identity" - that depict people with DID as highly unstable, dangerous and homicidal individuals which is not only untrue but extremely harmful to their image.

That goes for many other disorders as well - almost all of them have some issues with stigmatisation, but not all of them are as severe - and it is a really difficult thing to deal with for everyone involved.

It's a bit like this: Imagine someone is going around, claiming all Red haired women are witches because their hair is proof that they have bathed in the firey pits of hell.

The rational mind will now tell you that this is absolute humbug. But that is because you have enough facts that disarm that completely idiotic statement.

Imagine if you didn't have those. Imagine if you were born into a world where the only examples of Red haired women you see are in films and games and, in each and every one of them, they are evil, cackling witches. You don't hit up google, you take it at face value because hey that's what every body is saying so it's gotta be true, and boom - the life of millions of red heads have immediately been made worse because people believe some unfounded shit that mainstream media pushed onto this society.

Of course, that is an extreme oversimplification but I think it gets the point across!

In the end, would Astarion be a horrible influence on the DID community? No, all things considered he's the wrong guy but he wouldn't be their worst representative. But he for sure wouldn't make things any easier either.

It's a similar yet different issue with the Ace community, by the way! Because in this case, Astarion actually IS a horrible example that drags down how people see people who identify as ace.

Sex, sexual desires and sexuality in general are instinctual for most people. It's not something they can control or influence - it just happens based on varying factors that are both internal and external. And that's not only the case in mankind - animals are rather similar in that regard, with some differences.

Thanks to that, many ace people are constantly questioned on their sexuality.

People don't understand how someone can not have any interest in sex or maybe even any desires to begin with. This leads to people believing that it is a phase caused by something - trauma, religion, celibacy, fear of Intimacy, age...you name it. - and that it is something that needs to be fixed so that it can pass.

I think we can all agree that asexuality is none of that.

But attaching characters like Astarion, who are hesitant or averse where sex and Intimacy are concerned because they have been abused and carry the scars of that abuse with them, just perpetuates the stereotype that, inadvertently, asexuality has to be caused by something - preferably trauma - and that it isn't something that can simply. just. be.

And I don't mean to say that there can't be overlap - of course, some ace people have trauma, and some of them will actually have sexual trauma, but they aren't ace because of that. Those two things exist on two separate levels.

To paint the picture: This has the same effect as solely attaching men that have been beaten by their fathers to homosexuality. There is well and truly no connection between those two things, but if the majority of Representative characters are men of that kind, people will naturally take that image to heart and may start to unrightfully connect male homosexuality and physical abuse by fathers because that is what society and media suggest.

So, in the end, my being vigilant and vocal whenever I spot misrepresentation is really only to do my part to stop more stigmatisation from happening.

No community - no matter if it's based on sexuality, mental health, or even just subculture - benefits from stigmatisation. Not a single one. Stigmata are always a bad thing that need to be avoided at all costs so that people can peacefully live their lives without fear of being shunned on account of idiotic half truths and oversensationalised misconceptions.

[wickcdlove]

kang nabi (강나비) | 95’ | lesbian | cis woman | she/her | painter

lee yoomi, lesbian, cis woman, she/her. ♡ now entering the apartment building is kang nabi, a twenty-nine year old who is currently a painter. netizens have said they seem peculiar but others have said they’re gentle ! gossip aside, we’re sure they’re bound to be a fan favorite ! 

born and raised in korea, speaks no other languages. she's not always the biggest fan of communicating with words anyway, so sometimes it doesn't bother her - she tries to get her point across as best she can even if someone isn't fluent in korean.

tw; abuse.

background

nabi found a passion for art in her childhood. she learned all about it from her father, who was a great painter and sculptor. she idolised him as a little girl, but everything changed when he left the family for a younger woman. the betrayal deeply affected nabi, and it was only the beginning of her later developed abandonment issues. her mother, broken and desperate for companionship, remarried a controlling, abusive man. despite the suspicious death of his previous wife, nabi’s mother turned a blind eye, too in love with him to see the danger. the abuse she endured at the hands of her stepfather was devastating. her mother, who once seemed to loved her, grew distant, prioritizing her new husband and his children over her. eventually, she sent her away to boarding school, severing the last emotional ties between them. during her time at school, nabi exhibited severe behavioural issues, showing clear signs of autism, but her family refused to acknowledge her needs. though her intelligence was evident, her inability to fully apply herself led to fluctuating grades and a deeper sense of alienation. upon leaving school, she moved in with a group of queer feminists who were heavily involved in the kink community. through them, she ended up doing a lot of experimentation and while some of her experiences were empowering and healthy, others weren’t so great for her. to support herself, she worked at a bar while freelancing as an artist, specializing in erotic art - particularly bdsm and shibari themed portraits commissioned by her new social circle. nabi’s work became a way to express her passion for women. she loved painting women, celebrating their beauty and strength. her art became a way to connect emotionally, even when she struggled to do so in person. she mostly joined seoulmates hoping to find romantic connections. after years of emotional turmoil and superficial relationships, she longs for something real and meaningful

personality

nabi has a hard time picking up on social cues, which often leads to awkward or uncomfortable interactions. her intensity can be overwhelming for others, though she rarely notices it herself. when it comes to her art, nabi is incredibly focused and driven. she pours all her emotions into her work, sometimes to the point of obsession, which can make her come across as intense or single-minded. even though not all of her art explicitly expresses it, it’s a huge outlet for her. nabi often engages in self-destructive behaviours, especially when she feels emotionally overwhelmed. sometimes she has pretty bad sensory issues, especially with sound and light. sometimes she goes selectively mute if she’s feeling particularly awful. deep down, she craves emotional intimacy and wants to experience the love and support she’s been denied for so long.

relationships

whenever she takes a liking to someone she really seeks their approval. she tends to show this by excessive gift giving, usually art and small things like flowers. if they don’t like her art or show enough appreciation, she immediately feels rejected. while nabi has explored her sexuality and kinks, she has yet to find a truly fulfilling romantic relationship. she often sabotages potential relationships through her self-destructive tendencies and fear of emotional intimacy. she identifies as a switch but she’s more submissive leaning.

wanted connections:

platonic:

tba

romantic:

tba

she does like stoic, kinda standoffish women though lol. but someone who has a soft heart beneath it.

[kanmom51]

This is not written to or about you. In your mind's voice please read it as I am speaking to and about the people who have written some excited rants. I like your site a lot and like your perspectives on JiKook topics. I am hoping, if nothing else, it might inspire a conversation for you. I wasn't sure where to share it since I am new to Tumblr and really don't plan to be a big poster.

================The thoughts==============

Some 'fans' and foes are losing their minds over Jimin participating in a song as a feature artist that has multiple performers, one of whom has - according to the conversations - done horrible things and has a bad reputation. However, many of these same people were not as concerned about Jungkook who performed in Qatar that has huge human rights violations and controversies. Qatar has been doing this for much longer and harming many more groups of people. The information is easy to research. Yet these same people and others have no problem supporting a KPop industry that exploits underage people with excessive work and sexual behavior. The very industry they support has had its own sexual abuse scandals and unfortunate suicide incidents, but yet they are now out of sorts about supporting Jimin with this song. I'm not in any way defending the rapper, if the information is confirmed to be true, and I am not saying it wouldn't be wise for Jimin to be aware of who he is working with, but he likely recorded a song in an isolated studio and didn't even meet the performers he was singing with. He would not work in this industry if he based his choices on only working with saintly people who never did wrong things or only behaved in ways that were perfect. As an aside, I don't know the personal behaviors of any of the other people on the song. I just don't understand the hypocrisy and the emotional tantrums people are having without thinking through information, much less looking at their own lives to see if they would have trouble being held to the same standards they hold BTS, but apparently Jimin in particular, to. If you are not who I am referring to with the descriptions above, feel free to disregard these thoughts. No need to be offended if you are not anyone referenced here.

Thanks for your time, Kanmom51. Keep up the good work.

I'm actually with you on this one @jimin-bangtan .

The hypocrisy in this fandom hits me every single time.

Let's start With Kodak Black why don't we?

Born 1997, now 25 yo man. Not without controversy around him, he has been involved in several illegalities in the past.

I will say this and be loud and clear: KB is NOT a nice person.

He's been involved in drug and illegal arms offenses and beyond the charges I will talk about below, the reason people are up in arms about the collab, he has been said to get rough with women. In my books he's a douche, and if he ever raises his hand at a woman he needs to pay the price for it. Period.

But the main issue that has people upset about is his rape charges. people screaming about how can JM be collaborating with a rapist.

So, let's make one thing clear here.

KB IS NOT A CONVICTED RAPIST.

Plain and simple.

Well not so simple, because the legal system (law) and justice are two different things, at times intertwine and at times travel on parallel lines that never meet.

It actually goes both ways - people that literally get away with murder on the one hand and innocent people that have their lives ruined by wrongfully charged or convicted on the other.

But the legal system, as flawed as it is, is what we have.

Why this long winded explanation?

Well because KB was accused he raped a high school student in Feb 2016. He was charged for it in October 2017.

But 5 years later the prosecution reached a plea deal with him, the sex offenses were dropped (not even being accused of statutory rape, which is having consensual sex with a minor) and he was convicted of assault and battery and received a suspended sentence and probation.

I know this feels a little technical, but it is super important to make these distinctions. He was accused of rape but not convicted of it.

It is what it is.

He is a douche but he is not a convicted sex offender douche.

And if we are already talking about douches and problematic musicians, it's funny how everyone seems to wake up with these complaints and criticism when it involves JM.

Why is that? I ask myself.

Where were those people when Hobi was collabing with Crush? Where were they when BTS collabed with Snoop Dogg? Do I even bring up all the scandals he was involved in?

The above mentioned is merely an example of some of Snoop Dogg's issues.

Nothing, silence, you could hear a pin fall. Well, actually, not really. Because of all of the cheers and screams of joy that were heard when that collab was announced. Funny. Or not really.

And let's think about the examples in this ask why don't we?

JK doing the song for the Qatar games, well that didn't go without scrutiny. There were voices of criticism sounded, but those voices pretty much died down and at the end of the day, the song and JK as well, received the full support from the fandom.

And the K-pop industry?

"Yet these same people and others have no problem supporting a KPop industry that exploits underage people with excessive work and sexual behavior. The very industry they support has had its own sexual abuse scandals and unfortunate suicide incidents, but yet they are now out of sorts about supporting Jimin with this song."

Say it louder for the people in the back!!!

YG just announced their new girl group. Guess how old the youngest member is?

13 yo.

13

As much as that is a favourite Jikook number, it sure isn't an appropriate age for a child to debut with a girl group in an industry that sexualises young girls the way it does. And it's not that the others are much older either.

Cookie someone?

So yeah, we all need to be conscious of our choices. Who we listen to, where our money goes, who and what we support. And it's ok to criticise our faves, I'd even go as far as to say it's our duty to do so. But a. it's a case to case basis, meaning circumstances matter (which means what the level of involvement is with that person, for example); and b. let's not be hypocrites here. Let's not have double standards. If we feel it's wrong to collab with a problematic rapper, that standard applies not only to JM but to every other member of the band and the band as a whole.

Period.

[coochiequeens]

All at once now ladies "But this never happens"

By Natasha Biase March 22, 2024

Spain’s Minister of Family, Youth, and Social Affairs in Madrid is raising alarm bells after locating multiple cases in which men convicted of domestic violence changed their legal gender identity. In a letter issued to the Minister of Equality, Ana Dávila-Ponce de León Municio detailed her concerns that the safety of female victims of violence was at risk due to Spain’s “progressive” approach towards gender identity.

In her letter, issued March 18, Minister Dávila-Ponce de León noted that she had become aware of six cases in the autonomous region of Madrid where men charged with violence against women had changed their legal gender identity — a process that was streamlined and made significantly easier following the enactment of Spain’s “Trans Law” in 2023.

In addition to updating their registered sex, three of the men made requests to stay in women’s shelters with the wives and children who had been escaping from them. So far, concerned staff at the shelters have blocked their access but may be violating the nation’s gender discrimination laws as a result.

The letter sent by Minister Dávila-Ponce de León to Minister Redondo Garcia.

But perhaps most disturbingly, an abuser changing his legal sex has a tremendous impact on the resources the victims are able to access. In one of the cases recently highlighted by El Mundo, a female victim of sexual assault was stripped of the special protection provided for victims of physical and sexual abuse because officials told her that her aggressor, who drugged and raped her in front of her young daughter, “was no longer registered as a man, but as a woman.”

In Spain, special gender-based violence charges exist, providing female victims of male violence specific protections and resolutions which can impact divorce or separation proceedings, custody, and other important factors. Victims of gender-based violence can also access special protections intended to ensure they are safe from their male abuser.

Because a female cannot be convicted of gender-based violence, male abusers who change their legal sex can avoid this charge and deny their female victims of those legal protections.

As previously reported by Reduxx, a man in Spain who abused his female partner for opposing his gender transition avoided charges of gender-based violence by legally changing his identification to “female” and adopting a woman’s name. As a result, his victim was unable to obtain a specific protection order for intimate partner violence which would typically result in the male abuser being removed from the home to minimize the financial impact to the woman at a time where they are most vulnerable.

Despite only one year passing since the Trans Law was enacted by Spanish parliament, making it easier for people to “self-identify” their gender on their legal documents, several cases have emerged involving men using the law to receive financial, social, or legal benefits. The phenomenon is now being referred to as “trans fraud.”

Earlier this month, Reduxx reported that dozens of male civil servants in one small Spanish community changed their gender identity reportedly just to get benefits allocated for females. Among them was Roberto Perdigones, a 35-year-old Army corporal, who boasted of changing his legal sex to “female” after deciding he identified as an “intersex bigender” person.

From that moment on, he began to enjoy the benefits: the day he got his new ID card, he showed up at the barracks with earrings, long hair and a beard, now able to disregard mandatory dress code regulations without repercussions.

But the benefits are not limited to aesthetic issues, with Perdigones also now qualifying for a mother’s pension as he is a “woman” with a child.

“By changing my sex, as I have been informed, my pension has gone up. Because women receive more in retirement pensions to compensate for the inequality. In addition, I get 15% more because I have a child,” he boasted.

“I even have a private room in the barracks, all to myself, with a private bathroom. Because, being a woman, I can’t be with the men, and I didn’t consider it appropriate to be with the biological women out of respect for them. I’ve had the room to myself since the sex change.”

Perdigones also intends to seek a promotion and will be utilizing the so-called “affirmative action measures” designed to increase female presence in the Armed Forces command.

As Perdigones is approaching the mandatory age of retirement for temporary soldiers, obtaining a permanent position would be beneficial for him. Perdigones will be applying as a “woman,” since the physical tests are less demanding and because certain positions are seeking more female representation.

[kendrixtermina]

The Hamburg Defamation Case Update

To summarize from here:

What was ruled as defamation:

the I dare say obviously fictional 'hearsay' stories from "a friend of a friend who knew a former crewmember", such as the italian man story, the idea that they called it a 'slut parade', Till & richard arguing over some girl. Frankly it's ridiculous they even printed that. Obvious fiction, exaggeration, no one behaved like an actual human, tons of ambulances called but no one noticed?

spiking with KO drops (only ever claimed by Shelby, who was on meds that shouldn't be mixed with tons of booze, kind of caused a mass panic where people who were drunk or saw drunk people (Kayla) retroactively wondered if there may have been drugs involved - plus every single witness has confirmed the “bottles opened in front of guests” thing)

That the parties were intended primarily as sex things / to get Till potential partners or that people were deliberately gotten drunk with the intention to sexually prey on them/ that sex was expected (which is consistent with statements of loads of former party-goers on social media that they were just normal parties where he occasionally hit on someone)

What they're still allowed to write: (in the sense that it was ruled 'plausible enough' and/or 'in the public interest')

that Till may have sex with people in at least potentially questionable states of drunkenness (seems all but indisputable at this point, multiple accounts with affidavits)

that there was a 'system' where people were explicitly 'recruited' to parties with booze and some chance of later sexual contact - hm. Certainly technically true it was the case that influencers or just ppl from the metal scene in the town the concert was in were contacted on insta (also confirmed by posters here) but with that word choice allowed one wonders if it will be sufficiently distinguished from the third bullet point above. 'Inviting people to parties where there may be booze & flirting' =/= 'inviting people with the explicit purpose of perving on them'. There is booze and flirting in most parties, after all, some even have discounts for women.  the main point of row zero was ultimately to have some pretty, rocker-looking ppl standing in front of the stage so it looks good on photos, bonus points if they're influencers or something. So there's nothing per se nefarious about contacting pretty, rocker-looking ppl on insta. I suppose some might find it objectifying to put up attractive ppl as 'decoration' but they're getting free booze, backstage passes & exclusive invitations out of it so no different from being a model really.

This is all just related to the case with Till for now.

The stuff that was ruled defamation wouldn't have been dismissed if it wasn't too ridiculously lacking in evidence to even consider reasonable report, and the criminal investigation will only be stricter about evidence.

So unless some wild new unprecedented evidence turns up now suddenly several weeks in, I think we can confidently say at this point: 

Roofies thing 100% debunked

the idea that it was some bordello-like thing where ppl were deliberately picked to be pressured into sexual stuff, 100% debunked.

& having drunken sex in a hotel room, whether criminally relevant or not, is something any guy can do, so definitely not 'abuse of power'. (that would be, like, making your goons restrain someone or threatening their job etc.) - the moment it's just you & him alone somewhere he's the same as any lowly mortal. (Lowly mortals, of course, can still do ordinary crimes.)

We (or rather, the prosecutors) shall see about the rest, I guess.

Regardless of particular conclusions (I don't think I'm fully decided where I fall either, yet, i dont want to form biased, emotion-based conclusions and get attached to them), at least we all gotta agree that even if they’re guilty of some stuff,  we're dealing with a very different claim and level of potential ambiguity, severity and intent.

Any sane person would consider roofies or being pressured in a locked room to be rape, but drunk (but still walking & talking) is more of a gray zone.

Most ppl would say when someone is full on incoherent or unconscious & this was outwardly recognizable it’s obviously rape but almost no one would say that about being, like, slightly tipsy, and realistically, lots of people have shitfaced sex & consider it totally normal. These are evidently situations where everyone was smashed. No one’s gonna argue that this was the world’s most responsible behavior

So it depends on details & specifics that hopefully will be brought forth by fair judges asking the actual involved people non-leading questions. 

Defamations against jerks is still defamation even if it’s, say, calling a dude a serial killer if he only killed one guy. its not about defending anyone its about truth & logic. 

Far and wide you see people reacting as if the first three points were indisputably true seeing as they have been repeated over and over in the tabloids. Death threats, vandalism, random fans being accosted for wearing t shirts, calling for boycotts of any nightclub that lets them in (ironically with Michael Jackson T-shirts for sale nearby) ... this isnt rule of law, guys. 

They even pulled Flake’s book from circulation on spotify which, like... even actual undisputed criminals shouldn’t lose the right to publish books. If there is ANY way that any citizen can be deprived of free speech, you create an incentive for that to be applied to people one wants to silence. 

You can buy books of war criminals & murderers. You can get the memoirs of OJ Simpson and the Austrian Incest Case guy, for crying out loud!  & most ppl who do that are probably motivated by morbid curiosity & wanting to know how a crazy person thinks, not any desire of “supporting” them. Understanding people is not condoning them, indeed understanding crime is how you stop & prevent crime, so this kind of censorship wouldn’t be ok even if they were guilty. 

Also don’t think for a moment that the labels, companies etc. care so much about morals (michael jackson... still on spotify), it’s about avoiding controversy for advertisers because ads & corporations rule everything and rage gets more clicks than anything. 

[jourdepluie91]

The Rise and Fall of Diddy: A Deep Dive into the Life of Sean Comb

Sean “Diddy” Combs was one of the most powerful men in music. He is a rapper, singer, actor, producer, and record executive, and one of the most influential figures in the American music and entertainment industry.

On September 16 (U.S. time), Diddy was arrested in New York on multiple charges: rape, sex trafficking, coercion, abuse, and using extortion and violence to control victims. Diddy is currently being held in a jail under strict surveillance to prevent any suicide attempt.

This incident has shocked not only the U.S. but the entire world, implicating numerous big Hollywood stars and other powerful figures. Many are now questioning just how wealthy and powerful Diddy must be to manipulate all of Hollywood.

As one of the most prominent and successful rappers, Diddy has been nominated for the Grammy Awards 14 times and won 3 times. He was honored with a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in 1995. In 1997, Guinness World Records awarded him the title of the most successful Rap Music Producer.

With his achievements in music, Diddy built a diverse business empire, spanning music, fashion, liquor, and media. His influence in the music industry extends beyond producing and performing; he is also known as a businessman who continuously expanded his ventures into multiple industries.

In 1993, Diddy founded his own record label, Bad Boy Records. Three decades later, he has expanded his influence in the music industry, amassing an enormous fortune, the largest in the hip-hop world, making him considered the richest rapper of all time. In 2022, according to Forbes, Diddy’s net worth hit $1 billion. While this figure has since decreased, it still remains above $600 million.

From the 2010s, Diddy ventured into acting. He starred in a comedy film that grossed $95.5 million at the box office. Besides that, Diddy has also appeared in several reality TV shows. In 2013, he launched Revolt TV, a cable television network focused on music and culture.

Diddy also has a collection of supercars from various brands and price ranges, including a Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder, Maybach 57, Rolls-Royce Phantom, Chevrolet Corvette, Ferrari, and more.

Given his immense wealth, it’s no surprise that Diddy leads an extremely lavish lifestyle, owning luxury mansions and real estate. He has two main residences in Los Angeles and Miami, as well as multiple other properties scattered across the U.S., each typically worth tens of millions of dollars.

Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs indictment explained: alleged ‘freak-offs,’ drugs and prostitution

Alleged drug-fueled orgies, force and coercion, prostitution and a cover-up are at the core of a searing three-count federal indictment against Combs.

Combs is depicted as the leader of an alleged criminal enterprise, subjecting women, men and even minors to a pattern of physical and sexual abuse, according to federal prosecutors.

Houston attorney Tony Buzbee said he expects lawsuits to be filed within the next month, with most expected to be filed in New York and Los Angeles. Buzbee described the victims as 60 males and 60 females, and that 25 were minors at the time of the alleged misconduct. One individual alleged he was 9 years old when he was abused, Buzbee said. The allegations cover a period from 1991 to this year.

Investigators allege that, over a span of years, Combs would ply victims with narcotics and even resort to violence and intimidation during days-long sex sessions.

Numerous social media videos describe Diddy’s alleged “freak off” parties as multi-day sex orgies involving heavy drug use, gallons of alcohol, and large quantities of baby oil and lubricants.

These events, according to reports, would start after his famous “white parties,” which attracted celebrities like Leonardo DiCaprio, Will Smith, Paris Hilton, Jennifer Lopez, Bruce Willis and Mariah Carey.

When the A-listers left, a more secretive, hedonistic party would begin in back rooms, featuring Diddy and a select group of friends.

Michael Kaplan of the New York Times explains how as the night wore on, only a few select guests would remain for the more debauched events.

Kaplan also recounts a drug dealer’s testimony from one of these parties, where he allegedly witnessed male-on-male sexual activity among rappers, which shocked him.

According to federal prosecutors, Combs did not act alone, although no one else has yet been charged in the case. Combs allegedly had assistants, managers and security staff who made sure that women and male prostitutes were present at these "freak off" events and that the hotel rooms where they were staged were stocked with supplies like baby oil and lubricant.

Some of the alleged conduct also took place at auditions where “many times, especially young people, people wanting to break into the industry were coerced into this type of conduct in the promise of being made a star,” Buzbee said.

Combs has been locked up at the Metropolitan Detention Center in Brooklyn since pleading not guilty Sept. 17 to federal charges that he used his “power and prestige” to induce female victims into drugged-up, elaborately produced sexual performances with male sex workers in these “freak offs.”

Other alleged victims have already filed lawsuits against Combs that include allegations of sexual assault.

Combs has pleaded not guilty to racketeering conspiracy and sex trafficking. His attorney said he is innocent and will fight to clear his name.

[insert-witty-user-name-here]

10+ Good Things Biden has Done: Justice and Courts Edition

Just a list of 10+ good things Biden has done in the last 4 years because I’ve been hearing too much rhetoric that it doesn’t matter who you vote for. It does make a difference. 

Fine more 10+ good things Biden has done here, here, and here.

Issued a federal pardon to all prior Federal offenses of simple possession of marijuana. Additionally, the DEA is taking steps to reclassify marijuana as a Schedule III substance instead of a Schedule I, limiting punishment for possession in the future. (x) 

Changed drug charges related to crack offenses, now charging crack offenses as powder cocaine offenses. This is a big step towards ending the racial disparity that punishes crack offenses with greater severity than offenses involving the same amount of powder cocaine. (x) 

Lowered the cost of local calls for incarcerated people through the Martha Wright-Reed Just and Reasonable Communications Act as well as increased access for video calls (especially impactful for incarcerated people with disabilities). (x) 

Enacted policing reforms that banned chokeholds, restricted no-knock entries, and restricted the transfer of military equipment to local police departments. (x)

Established the National Law Enforcement Accountability Database (NLEAD) which will better track police officer misconduct. This database will vet federal law enforcement candidates who have a history of misconduct from being rehired and will make it easier and faster to charge police officers under the Death in Custody Reporting Act. (x) 

Added disability as a protected characteristic alongside race, gender, religion, and sexual orientation. Under the law, police officers are prohibited from profiling people based on these characteristics. …It sadly happens anyway but now there’s an added legal protection which means a mechanism to convict police officers should they break the law. (x) 

Required federal prisons to place incarcerated individuals consistent with their chosen pronouns and gender identity. (x) 

Expanded gun background checks by narrowing the “boyfriend” loophole to keep guns out of the hands of convicted dating partners, strengthening requirements for registering as a licensed gun dealer (closing the “gun show loophole”), and more through the Bipartisan Safer Communities Act.  (x) 

Increased mental health programs within police departments to support officers experiencing substance use disorders, mental health issues, or trauma from their duties. (x)

Lifted Trump era restrictions on the use of consent decrees. The Justice Department uses consent decrees to force local government agencies (like police departments) to eliminate bad practices (such as widespread abuse and misconduct) that infringe on peoples’ civil rights. (x) 

Improved reporting of hate crimes through the COVID-19 Hate Crimes Act (x) 

Nominated the first Black woman to sit on the Supreme Court 

Confirmed 200 lifetime judges to federal courts, confirming historic numbers of women, people of color, and other judges who have long been excluded from our federal court system. (64% are women, 63% are people of color)

Proposed investments in a lot of programs including universal pre-k, green energy, mental health programs across all sectors, a national medical leave program for all workers and more. (x) 

Last… let’s also not forget all the truly terrible things Trump did when he was in office. If you need a reminder, scroll this list, this one mostly for giggles + horror, for actual horror about what a Trump presidency has in store, learn about ‘Project 2025’ from the Heritage Foundation. I know this post is about reasons to vote FOR Biden but let’s not forget the many, many reasons to vote for him over Trump.

Looking for more?

10+ good things Biden has done in education and immigration

10+ good things Biden has done in healthcare and housing

10+ good things Biden has done in climate and labor

A few other notes

Voting for Biden or Trump shouldn’t be the only reason you vote. You know what elections have more power over your life? LOCAL elections. If you’re not feeling jazzed about Biden… vote for someone really cool running for mayor, or your rep, or on your school board and then begrudgingly vote for Biden. 

A reminder that if someone online is trying to discourage you to vote there’s a good chance they are a paid actor to do so. Voter suppression was a well-documented tactic during the 2016 election and I’m sure the trolls are out in force again. 

Check your voter registration here, make a plan to vote, and encourage your friends to vote as well. 

All in all, yeah… there’s a lot of shitty things still happening. There’s always going to be shit but things aren’t going to change on their own. And that change starts (it certainly doesn’t end) with voting. 

Go vote in November.

[ukrfeminism]

Gathered around a wooden table in an unremarkable local council room in east London, ten men are sat side by side. They span a range of ages, ethnicities and social backgrounds; some are in sportswear while some are in smart work gear, like they’ve just left the office. But there’s one thing they all have in common — they have carried out domestic abuse. And they are here to try and change their behaviour. 

“Domestic abuse is a choice,” Mark*, the course leader tells them, as the two-hour session begins. “Not one in the thousands of men I have worked with are possessed by demons or aliens. If you can choose to be bad, you can choose to be good.”

This week’s session of the Spotlight Programme — one of several across the country aimed at stopping people inflicting violence and abuse on their partners — is looking at the repercussions domestic abuse has on children. Eight of the men have, at one time, been under a bail condition which prevented them from contacting their children. 

Mark, who has worked with dozens of male prisoners who have killed their partners and counselled many perpetrators in the wider community, is here to encourage the men to reflect on the consequences of their actions. As he puts it, the abusers’ choice of behaviour has denied their children access to their father.

“When you are abusing your child’s mum, you are abusing your child,” he tells the group, as he hits play on a video. “Does anyone want their sons to grow up and be sitting with me? Does anyone want their daughters to grow up and be abused?”

He then asks the men to say how they would feel if it was their mum experiencing domestic abuse. “I’d be mad, angry, I’d want revenge,” one man says. Another says he would feel upset. The list goes on.

The men who come to these sessions have carried out a range of abuse, from physical violence to psychological abuse, coercive control, financial abuse, and sexual violence, Mark tells The Independent after the session. 

But a common thread is the way they downplay violence and abuse, as well as dodging responsibility and deflecting blame. “When they first join the program, most of them are of the view that, yes, I did do dot dot but it’s because she did X, Y, Z,” he adds.

Examples of the abuse involve men blocking partners from contacting their families, raping partners and strangling them. He also tells the story of a man who regularly denied his partner her medication when she was desperately ill. 

“From how she dresses, who she sees, where she goes, who she talks to, to having to be home at 7pm every night — these are all very controlling behaviours and we come across them every single day,” he said.

The Spotlight Programme was launched in 2020, with referrals coming from the police and children’s services. Some 677 individuals have been referred between the scheme starting and April of this year.

Data supplied by the local council shows 92 per cent who completed the programme saw a decrease in police contact involving domestic abuse. Eight per cent of participants have dropped out of the programme and five per cent have been suspended.

A study, carried out by Durham and London Metropolitan universities back in 2015, found far fewer women reported being physically attacked after their partner went to a programme, with 61 per cent beforehand in comparison to two per cent afterwards.

But Mark also warns that not all men who join the Spotlight Programme are suitable. On some occasions, the more light that is shone on a perpetrator’s behaviour, the more they proactively perpetrate that abuse.

One man was taken off the programme due to frequently laughing at abuse in the group sessions. He also admitted to laughing at the thought of his wife’s face when he was raping her.

Despite this, Mark is adamant his scheme has the ability to change an abuser’s behaviour if they acknowledge there is a problem and they are committed to changing it.

In his view, it is ultimately a man’s belief system which means he thinks he has the right to control and dictate his partner’s life choices. “We help them to understand that: look, you don’t always have to like your partner’s choices’,” he adds. “But there are alternative ways to respond other than abuse and violence.”

But funding issues mean schemes like Spotlight — which is accredited by domestic abuse charity Respect — are at risk of being discontinued. Although they are funded from a variety of places, including local authorities and police and crime commissioners, the programmes have been hit by reduced funding from the Home Office and the Ministry of Justice.

Jas Athwal, a local councillor in Redbridge, said Spotlight’s government funding came to an end in March this year as he explained they “desperately need” the money to continue. They are currently using local council money to pay for the scheme. “This is one of those things you can’t walk away from because this is going to have a real impact on a child’s life, on a victim’s life, on a family’s life.”

Mark’s course in Redbridge is one of just three accredited courses left in London, while there are 35 such schemes across the UK. But Caroline Bernard, a spokesperson for Respect, told The Independent the removal of funding has lead to a reduction in risk management or feedback and resulted in Respect telling schemes for perpetrators not to take on these cases as it is dangerous to do so.

Ms Bernard warned the slashing of funding has meant “the entire system has broken down” and that there are a “high number” of perpetrators who cannot access the schemes. 

“Ultimately, the lack of access to these programmes is putting the safety of domestic abuse survivors, and their children, at risk,” she said. 

The world’s first perpetrator programme took place in Deluth in Minnesota in the US in 1980, with other programmes modelling themselves on the scheme since then, Ippo Panteloudakis, head of services at Respect, said. The first perpetrator programme was launched in the UK in 1989. 

But perpetrator programmes are not free from controversy and many who work in the domestic abuse sector are sceptical of the schemes.

“We think they have a role to play but we are cautious about them,” Ellie Butt, of domestic abuse charity Refuge, says. “The evidence base is limited. There is evidence for some people they reduce some of the abuse. While we think that has a role, we don’t want to send a message to survivors that they should have to tolerate any abuse or slightly less severe abuse.”

She also warned perpetrators are “adept at manipulating systems and manipulating professionals and continuing abuse” as she noted many abuse multiple victims.

“They are not a solution in and of themselves. We still need a much better criminal justice response than we have and better services for survivors. They are not a silver bullet,” she said. 

For Paul*, a 36-year-old painter and decorator who lives in London, the Spotlight Programme helped change his behaviour towards his partner. He was arrested and investigated for perpetrating coercive control. 

“I’d become very overprotective of her... I had become smothering,” he said. “I was constantly monitoring where she was and wanting to know when she would be home. I would bombard her with text messages and phone calls. It wasn’t verbal abuse, it was more ‘where are you? Have you left me?’”

But Paul, who has three children with his partner, states his “whole attitude to everything has changed” since taking part in the programme in August last year.

“It has changed my life,” he adds. “I don’t jump in feet first - I judge the situation slowly and calmly. She has noticed a change in me. She has a bit more trust in me now. I leave her to live her life in peace now.”

A Ministry of Justice spokesperson said: “The safety of children who have experienced domestic abuse is vital and we are currently reviewing the role of interventions in the private family court. 

“This includes working with experts, including in the domestic abuse sector, to consider what interventions the family court can most effectively provide in these cases.”

*Names have been changed to protect identities

[beardedmrbean]

WASHINGTON (AP) — Disgraced sports doctor Larry Nassar, who was convicted of sexually abusing female gymnasts including Olympic medalists, was stabbed multiple times during an altercation with another inmate at a federal prison in Florida.

Two people familiar with the matter told The Associated Press the attack happened Sunday at United States Penitentiary Coleman. The people said he was in stable condition Monday.

One of the people said Nassar had been stabbed in the back and in the chest. The prison was experiencing staffing shortages, and one of the people familiar with the matter said the officers assigned to the unit where Nassar was held were working mandated overtime shifts.

The people were not authorized to publicly discuss details of the attack or the ongoing investigation and spoke to the AP on the condition of anonymity.

Nassar is serving decades in prison for convictions in state and federal courts. He admitted sexually assaulting athletes when he worked at Michigan State University and at Indianapolis-based USA Gymnastics, which trains Olympians. Separately, Nassar pleaded guilty to possessing child pornography.

The federal Bureau of Prisons has experienced significant staffing shortages in the last few years, an issue thrust into the spotlight when disgraced financier Jeffrey Epstein took his own life at a federal jail in New York in 2019. An Associated Press investigation in 2021 revealed nearly one-third of federal correctional officer positions vacant nationwide, forcing prisons to use cooks, teachers, nurses and other workers to guard inmates. The staffing shortages have hampered the response to emergencies at other prisons, including suicides.

On Sunday, both officers working in the unit with Nassar were working overtime shifts. One of the officers was on the third straight shift, working a 16-hour day, one of the people said. And the other officer was on their second straight shift, the person said.

During victim impact statements in 2018, several athletes testified that over the course of Nassar’s more than two decades of sexual abuse they had told adults, including coaches and athletic trainers, what was happening but that it went unreported.

More than 100 women, including Olympic gold medalist Simone Biles, collectively sought more than $1 billion from the federal government for the FBI’s failure to stop Nassar when agents became aware of allegations against him in 2015. He was arrested by Michigan State University police in 2016, more than a year later.

The Justice Department’s inspector general said in July 2021 that the FBI made “fundamental” errors in investigating the sexual abuse allegations against Nassar and did not treat the case with the “utmost seriousness.” More athletes said they were molested before the the FBI swung into action.

The inspector general’s investigation was spurred by allegations that the FBI failed to promptly address complaints made in 2015 against Nassar. USA Gymnastics had conducted its own internal investigation, and the organization’s then-president, Stephen Penny, reported the allegations to the FBI’s field office in Indianapolis. But it took months before the bureau opened a formal investigation.

At least 40 girls and women said they were molested over a 14-month period while the FBI was aware of other sexual abuse allegations involving Nassar. Officials at USA Gymnastics also contacted FBI officials in Los Angeles in May 2016 after eight months of inactivity from agents in Indianapolis.

The FBI acknowledged conduct that was “inexcusable and a discredit” to America’s premier law enforcement agency.

Michigan State, which was accused of missing chances over many years to stop Nassar, agreed to pay $500 million to more than 300 women and girls who were assaulted by him. USA Gymnastics and the U.S. Olympic and Paralympic Committee made a $380 million settlement.

In June 2022, the Michigan Supreme Court rejected a final appeal from Nassar. Attorneys for Nassar said he was treated unfairly in 2018 and deserved a new hearing, based on vengeful remarks by a judge who called him a “monster” who would “wither” in prison like the wicked witch in “The Wizard of Oz.”

“I just signed your death warrant,” Ingham County Judge Rosemarie Aquilina said of Nassar’s 40-year sentence.

The state Supreme Court said that Nassar’s appeal was a “close question” and that it had “concerns” over the judge’s conduct. But the court also noted that Aquilina, despite her provocative comments, stuck to the sentencing agreement worked out by lawyers in the case.

“We decline to expend additional judicial resources and further subject the victims in this case to additional trauma where the questions at hand present nothing more than an academic exercise,” the court said in a two-page order.

More than 150 victims spoke or submitted statements during an extraordinary seven-day hearing in Aquilina’s court more than four years ago.

“It’s over. ... Almost six years after I filed the police report, it’s finally over,” said Rachael Denhollander, the first woman to publicly accuse Nassar.

[coochiequeens]

"Once again we see the thing that never happens, a male sex offender claiming a female identity to mitigate his punishment. It’s beyond comprehension that the courts are falling for this nonsense,” the representative, who has chosen to remain anonymous, told Reduxx.

ByGenevieve Gluck August 31, 2023

A pedophile has avoided jail despite being found with a collection of child sexual abuse materials. Dominic Mark Carter, who now goes by the name Sophie Louise Carter, appeared in court wearing all-pink during a sentencing hearing on August 29.

While still “identifying” as a man, Carter was visited by police in April of 2021 after officers received a tip regarding the potential distribution of pornographic materials involving children.

Carter resisted officers’ attempts to seize his devices, the Daily Echo reported, resulting in law enforcement being forced to “wrestle” his device away from him.

Several images were found on his phone, including two classified as Category A, a distinction reserved for the most severe type of child abuse content which can include images involving penetrative sexual activity, sexual activity with an animal, or sadistic sexual acts.

Carter pleaded guilty to three counts of making indecent images of children. During court proceedings, Judge Nicholas Rowland told him: “The reason that children around the world are subject to abuse and it is filmed is because people seek gratification. People like you get gratification from looking at those images.”

Carter’s defense attempted to mitigate using his own history of child abuse, noting that he had suffered “some degree of trauma.” His lawyer added that Carter had “longstanding issue with alcohol abuse” and had been abusing substances.

Dominic ‘Sophie Louise’ Carter outside Southampton Crown Court. Image: Newsquest

Though he was prosecuted under his male name, Carter revealed he now identified as transgender during his sentencing. He was addressed by “she/her” pronouns in court and was referred to with the honorific “miss,” with his legal counsel stating: “Miss Carter has now separated from her now ex-wife… The root cause of the mental health issues is this case.”

The court handed Carter a six-month prison sentence suspended for 18 months. A suspended sentence is an alternative to imprisonment which requires the guilty party to adhere to certain restrictions and terms. Carter is being required to complete 60 rehabilitation activity requirement sessions and 120 hours of unpaid work.

He must also register as a sex offender and is subject to a Sexual Harm Prevention Order for five years.

As he now declares that he identifies as transgender and is calling himself ‘Sophie Louise,’ Carter will likely be permitted to enter spaces reserved for women and girls, such as restrooms and changing rooms, unless otherwise expressly forbidden.

A representative for women’s rights group Standing For Women Hampshire expressed their concerns regarding the situation, drawing attention to the fact that crimes in countries which implement gender identity policies tend to record male crimes as having been committed by women.

“Once again we see the thing that never happens, a male sex offender claiming a female identity to mitigate his punishment. It’s beyond comprehension that the courts are falling for this nonsense,” the representative, who has chosen to remain anonymous, told Reduxx.

“We have serious concerns about how this man will be recorded, both in crime statistics and especially on the sex offender register. For the media to show such deference to the desires of a pedophile that they use his adopted name and she/her pronouns throughout their report is insulting and hugely disrespectful towards women and his very real victims,” she added.

In May, Reduxx spoke with a woman who endured years of sexual abuse at the hands of her father, only to discover that while incarcerated, he had adopted a transgender identity in an apparent bid to obscure his history of sexual offending.

Ceri-Lee Galvin, 24, was sexually abused for nine years beginning from the age of eight by Clive Bundy, and was only told of his new name and early release from prison with his expressed consent. Galvin emphasized that her predatory father’s false identity would grant him access to intimate spaces where girls are vulnerable or in states of undress.

According to recent figures from a Freedom of Information Request submitted by the BBC, over 700 sex offenders have gone “missing” since changing their names through the process of deed poll, which takes approximately 15 minutes to complete, in the period between 2019 – 2021.