#and seeing as he's had it the entire time the characters (notably mike) have known him

[adultswim2021]

Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law #1: "Bannon Custody Battle" December 30, 2000 - 4:30AM | S01E01 Welcome to the first episode of Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law, the first show on Adult Swim’s roster that I rejected as a substandard product. It should’ve been the Brak Show. In the opening episode, Birdman takes a case from Dr. Benton Quest, better known as Jonny Quest’s father. Race Bannon is fighting for custody of the boy, arguing that he’s a much better, much more present father figure to Jonny. Harvey Birdman was first conceptualized with an episode of Space Ghost Coast to Coast. In the episode “Pilot” we’re shown a supposed disastrous pilot episode of “Coast to Coast” where Birdman was originally attached as the star. Birdman, a depressive, out-of-work super hero, utterly botches the job as his inability to host a late-night show due to his deriving all his powers from the sun becomes more apparent. The character recurs a few more times, most notably in the episode “Sequel”, where Birdman guest-hosts the show. Still, to call this a proper Space Ghost spin-off requires carrying a big asterisk along with it. The character name “Harvey Birdman” was invented for Space Ghost, but besides both being based on the old 60s Birdman Hanna-Barbera show, they have little to do with one another. One would get almost nothing out of watching the original Space Ghost episodes before watching this (except for, you know, getting to see episodes of a much funnier show).

So in Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law you have one 60s Hanna-Barbera character as a lawyer taking court cases from various other Hanna-Barbera characters, usually of a similar vintage. In this particular episode we’re treated to a lot of jokes about the homoerotic subtext of Jonny Quest, specifically the relationship between Race Bannon and Benton Quest. The writers decide to tastefully side-step the seemingly pederast relationship between Race and Jonny. Watching the original Jonny Quest with the same attempt to subvert and recontextualize the relationships between the characters through a modern lens, a certain type of observer would probably note the amount of shirtless roughhousing Race does with Jonny. Speaking of watching Jonny Quest: I have to admit something: I never really watched Jonny Quest at all before writing this blog. I’ve had an interest in older shows and cartoons my entire life, but the entire genre of action cartoon didn’t appeal to me whatsoever when I was a kid. So last night I watched my first episode of Jonny Quest, in glorious 1080p on my new 4K television; a format it was never EVER intended to be viewed in. Jonny Quest is objectively junk. It’s fun, boyish, escapist entertainment, and there’s a lot of good irony in it, especially with it’s antiquated portrayal of other cultures from a bygone era when we were far less connected to the rest of the world. It has limited animation and simplistic design. The backgrounds look like they were painted on a post-it-note and most of the men are drawn to look like reskinned versions of Race Bannon. But there’s at least something a LITTLE charming about it. In fact, there was one moment of beautifully scripted action that absolutely won me over: Race and Jonny’s speed boat goes airborne briefly and crushes the bad guy’s boat from above as they speed towards one another. I nearly cheered when it happened. I knew The Venture Bros took liberally from Jonny Quest, but the coolest action sequences on that show seemed to be striving for the same exact visceral reaction I got from seeing Race crunch up some lizard men on a boat. Birdman is a similar deal: He was a cookie-cutter imitation of comic book heroes from the silver-age of comics (the obvious comparison here is DC’s Hawkman). I actually did watch a Birdman adventure late last night as I was falling asleep to follow up on Jonny Quest, but it felt less important. I can remember checking out the original Birdman on DVD not too long ago. Also, your typical Harvey Birdman usually focuses on jokes about shows other than Birdman. Still, it’s neat to see those characters in their original context, as well as that Hanna-Barbera stock-explosion animation we all know and love from Space Ghost blowing up Zorak on Coast-to-Coast. Also the episode I watched will be heavily referenced later, but not for this. I only watched the first episode of Jonny Quest taking a cue from my friend Kon who noted that most of the references in “Bannon Custody Battle” are directly from the first episode. The most specific (and funniest) scene in the whole show involves the Lizard Men, the main villains of that first installment. Other characters show up very briefly, and are all ones that appear in the opening sequence. Unless I find out differently (I’ll probably try to make my way through the rest of Quest in preparation for Venture Bros.), it really does seem like the writers just watched the first episode of Jonny Quest to write this show. Watching this episode of Harvey Birdman was like batting away an existential crisis. I remember vaguely at the time not being SUPER hot on this show, but I cut it a lot of slack and trusted that it would simply get funnier. I wanted to love all the shows on Adult Swim. Anyway, I went from being lukewarm on Birdman, to hating it. Reading my own earlier review of Birdman I blasted this episode for being homophobic. I used to have a very low tolerance for gay jokes, back when they were highly in fashion. But now that we live an era where there’s an arms race to find new ways to scold one another for perceived slights gay jokes can sometimes, NOT ALWAYS, be a little refreshing to hear. The fact that my stance on gay jokes can change as long as it’s in direct-opposition with the rest of the world is at least a little troubling. Does this mean I’m an inauthentic reactionary? Yes. Yes it does. There, I admitted it. Now, let me off the hook, please. I say that sorta jokingly. The gay jokes in this are mostly pretty lame, and come off like Mike Scully-era Simpsons gay jokes. The early scene at the beginning where Birdman eyes widen when he’s misunderstanding the nature of Dr. Quest’s and Race Bannon’s relationship really does come off as early 90′s homophobia. I remember it seemed out of place at the time. I’m sure it played just fine in the midwest, but the show didn’t really put it’s best foot forward with that. Speaking of lame jokes, this episode has a few that have nothing to do with insulting gay people. One of my least favorite bits involve the specific gag of undercutting a dramatic moment with characters fumbling around awkwardly in true-to-life fashion. Why, if a person tried to recreate a dramatic sting you’d see before a commercial break in real life, you’re right, it’d probably go awkwardly! But this 11 minute show has at least 3 explicit examples of this, and it’s only mildly amusing once:

Bannon dramatically walks out on Dr. Quest, after announcing his intention to take Jonny with him. He awkwardly comes back because he forgot his keys

Birdman dramatically argues with a rival prosecutor and summons his personal digital assistant, and then awkwardly fumbles with it

Birdman proves that the Race Bannon on the witness stand is actually a robot by unplugging him, but he accidentally pulls the wrong cord and has to spend a few seconds untangling and retracing the correct cord.

Another thing about Birdman is that there is usually a lack of strong jokes. The show usually includes a layer of comedy where there are simply characters who simply have odd, scattered speech patterns or odd ticks. The rival lawyer in this slurs his speech in a particular way: cut to the jury looking confused. That’s the joke. The Judge grumbles in an ornery fashion and generally acts like he doesn’t wanna be there. He says stuff that sounds like bad improv. That’s the joke. The show will only ocassionally come up with jokes to justify these character traits. It’s just silliness that doesn’t usually go anywhere. But, I do kinda like some things about this episode. It was animated by J.J. Sedelmaier, known for early digital animation seen in the crude era of Beavis and Butt-head and SNL’s TV Funhouse. They really do have their own style of comic timing, and there are some gags in this where the animation works in their favor. There are some jokes where the drawings really sell the comedy. I’m not sure if I liked this animation better or worse, but it does match the oddly-stilted Jonny Quest animation better than the episodes that came after this would have. Oh, one of the funniest bits not on the show was when I popped in the DVD I forgot that the menu music is Wesley Willis’ “Birdman Kicked My Ass”. If I were in high school when the DVD came out I would have loved it just for that reason. Same could be said “Jonny Quest Thinks We’re Sell-Outs” by Less Than Jake. I was an easily impressed kid.

[popculturebuffet]

The Critic Valentine’s Day Double Feature (Pilot/Sherman, Woman and Child)

Vivia Jay Sherman! Viva Quebec! Viva Valentine’s Day! And Viva WeirdKev who as happens for a good chunk of my content payed for this wonderful double feature for one of my favorite shows.  The Critic was created by Al Jean and Mike Reis of The Simpsons fame, a comedy team supreme. While I knew the two wrote for the simpsons, more on that iin a minute, I had no idea just how many classics the two churned out: There’s No Disgrace Like Home, Moaning LIsa, The Telltale Head, The Way We Was, Stark Raving Dad (Sadly tainted by it’s guest star being a horirble monster but that’s not their fault), Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington, the treehouse of horror segments The Bart Zone and Clown Without Pity (The second of which may be my favorite treehouse of horror segment), and later coming back to write the story for one of my all time favorites Round Springfield and to outright write the classic “SupercalfragalisticexpalliDOHcious”.  And to his credit Jean would later go on to write some classic post-golden age simpsons episodes during his tenure as producer: Lisa’s Sax, Mom and Pop Art, and Children of a Lesser Clod, which is notable if nothing else for this gag. 

So yeah the guys are legends and were right to start their own show under Simpsons producer James L Brooks over at ABC. The show followed the adventures of film Critic, Jay Sherman, a parody of film critics with high brow tastes, impossibly high standards, and a huge opinon of himself, having won the pultizer at least once.  Despite this he was also constnatly spat and shat on by society, divorced, lonely, depressed and eats like a thousand pigs combined in some horrific science accident. And given the last three parts describe me, as well as my profession of b eing a critic, naturally I love the guy and this show. I’ll get into his cast as we go as the first episode does an excellent job of introducing the entire cast so there’s no sense repeating myself.  But the show’s style I can and will talk about: It’s basically Golden Age, i.e. season’s 1-10, simpsons, but with more pop culture refrences and movie parodies, since the show would often feature multiple on Jay’s show coming Attractions and took place in the celebrity hot spot of new york and was a love letter to the city.. and sometimes a hate letter but only when those digs at the city would be funny, which to be fair depsite never having been to or lived in new york most really are. That’s the series key asset: while a LOT of the jokes haven’t aged well as a lot of the celbreity refrences are dated as are some of the movie parodies, most are hilarious wether you get what their making fun of or not and to me tha’ts a good parody: where knowing what their making fun of HELPS, but you can laugh regardless. The show had the charm and pace of the Simpsons while having it’s own unique style and cast that was just as charming and I love it dearly.  The show sadly only lasted two seasons, with ABC canceling it after one, and Brooks having it moved over to FOX, which was a good idea and lead to what’s probably my faviorite simpsons episode, a Star is Burns. Ironically despite you know, the show being created by two simpsons writers, backed by one of their producers and perfectly in line, creator Matt Groening was against the idea, publicly ranted about it to the press, and generally was an ass about it. Look I love the guy and even Brooks, Jean and Reiss were all nice enough in thier criticsim of the guy, but sitll very much understandably pissed off. .and i’m with them. 

It gave what’s again, my faviorite episode and what is not a “30 minute add” but an episode that easily stands on it’s own and also you know, pokes fun at itself for being a crossover a few times. You don’t need to see the critic to enjoy it, and episodes most iconic gags, Boo-Urns, Man Getting HIt by a Football, Senior Speilbergo, all don’t involve jay. And again the shows were not at all dismilar: While the critic was it’s own thing it still had the simpsons sense of humor and pacing so I saw it more as a petty rant against having a crossover in general more than a legit critcisim. Especially since Groening had no such complaints decades later with the family guy crossover after both shows had all tehir talent surgically removed and had the gall to NOT remove a cheap shot at Bob’s Burgers. And yes i’m still bitter about seeing that in a promo for the special, Bob’s Burgers is fantastic, to the point that now, in a fabulous case of history repeating itself, it’s got it’s OWN show like the critic made by talented former crew members using a similar but sitll throughly unique comedy style , The Great North. My point is that controversy pisses me off, and The Great North is spectacular go watch it while you read this. 

So yeah the Critic is awesome, me and Kev are both fans, and there are plenty of romantic episodes abound as the show digs into Jay’s love life quite a few times and has episodes about his son’s first love, his boss finding a wife towards the end of the series, his parents rekindling their spark and in what’s easily my faviorite episode, his sister dating a grunge rocker. So there was no shortage of choices but the choice made was brilliant.. and i’m not saying that because i’m being paid to, as my review of splatter phoenix’s first episode in darkwing duck and woops should show, paying me does not guarantee that I have to LIKE what your paying me to review. But here I did and he pointed out the first episode of each season, with season two being a soft reboot that while keeping the premise and supporting cast changed a few things around and added two new main characters, and both involve jay finding a new love intrest and intorduce a lot of the cast. I found him to be right, so where we are and after the cut i’ll dive into the good and bad of both episodes and see what changed inbetween seasons. 

That gag will make sense.. later. Right now it’s time for our very first episode, the show’s very first episode as you could probably tell by the title. 

Pilot:  The pilot starts with Jay getting touched up by his Makeup Person Doris. Jay is played by legendary comedian John Lovitz, who this show gave me a deep and lasting appreciation for. Lovitz was at the time best known for his 5 year long stint on SNL, and film wise is best known for Three Amigos, the Brave Little Toaster, The Wedding Singer and Rat Race. Sadly while I do geninely love the guy.. he has been in enough crap to destroy the New York Sewer system, as everyone needs money and sadly not everyone appricates the talents of John Lovitz like I do. 

So naturally he’s also been in The Stepford Wives remake, Grown Ups 2, The Ridiculous 6, Eight Crazy Nights, North, Benchwarmers and Benchwarmers 2: Breaking Balls. Yes that’s an actual movie, though it’s already better than the first one for virtue of not having Rob Schnider and David Spade starring in it despite.. that title. The irony is not lost on me that Lovitz has essentially made his money starring in the kinds of films Jay was forced to see for his job.  Still a VERY talented, very lovely man.

Before we get to our next voice actor up, no profile of Jon would be complete without mentioning that time he slammed Andy Dick’s face into a bar. To make a very long story short, Lovitz was friends with the late great Phil Hartman, who even did some voice work for this very show, whose wife who had severe drug and mental ilness killed them both. Phil had told Lovitz he saw Dick give his wife cocaine, so after Phil’s tragic murder when Lovitz and Dick ended up on the same show, Lovitz ended up exploding at the guy out of grief and blamed him for her death, but later apologized like a gentleman.  Living up to his name though Dick later went up to Lovitz at a restraunt Lovitz owned and said “I’m giving you the Phil Hartman curse, you die next”. Granted he was drunk but still...

Naturally Lovitz banned the guy and Lovitz later demanded an apology when the two ran into each other when they ran into each other at Lovitz regular gig at the comed store. Dick not only refused to apologize even when Lovitz put him against a wall, but said it was because “you blamed me for her death”... which was a decade ago with change by this point, the actions of a man GREIVING for his best friend whose wife’s relapse you caused which inadveradntly lead to her and her husband’s death, and something HE APOLOGIZED FOR. Naturally Lovitz took this how you would and did what we’d all like to do in general and broke the shit out of his face and only didn’t do more because they were seperated. IN short this man is a hero and I wil lbring up this story at every opportunity.  Doris was played by the late voice actress Doris Grau, a script supervisor who worked on a LOT of films as one , the most notable I could find on wikipedia being Clue. This is a fact I just learned today but boy if it isn’t neat. Grau mostly did aditional voices for shows, most notably Ducktales and the Simpsons, where she played Lunchlady Doris, and of course this show. Still she seemed like a very funny and talented woman and it’s sad she’s gone.  The two start the series mostly sniping at each other and while that never ENTIRELY goes away, Doris gets more supportive after a spotlight episode where she and Jay bond and Jay thinks she might be his mom. And while she’s not this surprisingly sticks and for the rest of the series while still not above making potshots at him on occasion, she’s far more supportive. She also informs him she’s out of spray on hair “I’m bald and ugly, get more!”. This show is naturally comedy gold and a lot of it relies on Lovitz sense of timing, though the rest of the cast aren’t slouches but we’ll get to them as we go.  She ends up putting a hat over him and we get our first film parody, Rabbi PI starring Anuld, which is alright. Not one of the series best but passable and gets the gimmick of having film parodies on jay’s show across, which was a nice way to set it apart from the Simpsons. Jay reviews it on the Shermometor, a gimmick jay hates and that disappeared by season 2, giving it a bellow zero to the ire of his boss Duke Phillips.  Duke is one of the best parts of the show, an unhinged southren billlonare who was a modeled after Ted Turner, down to the mustache, who built up his fried chicken franchise into a multimedia congrlomorate and is also mildly nuts, though that part would be more of a thing in season 2. In season 1, he’s mostly there to make Jay’s life hell, with about half of the seasons episodes having him either fire jay or put his job in jeapordy versus 2 the next season. He’s still not unfunny, but most of his best stuff is in season 2 when Charles Napier’s allowed to cut loose a little more and the character wasn’t shoehorned into just being a clueless executive.  Charles Napier is a longtime character actor who showed up in TONS of films and tv shows too many to list.. and trust me with some of the lists of credits before and after this that’s saying something, his biggest voice rolls being in this series and Men and Black the Series as Zed. But needless to say he was ALWAYS this awesome and sadly passed in 2011.  Jay’s guest for the day is Valerie Fox, an up and coming actress whose first film kiss of death is coming out soon.. and whose age is an engima and it’s only a problem because if she’s 20, like the episode mildly suggests giving her starting career and her voice actress being that age, then this gets really gross as jay is 17 years older than her then. But given she looks older than that and sounds certainly older than that, i’m going more with 30, since she looks more like it, and sharon stone, who she’s mildly based on given she stars in a basic instinct knockoff and does the leg thing, was 32 at the time of basic instinct.  Valerie is voiced by Jennifer Lien, aka Kes from star trek voyager who I only know about because of reviews done by SF Debris and Allison Pregler. She was the childlike love intrest of Nelix, the ship’s resident pain in the audience asses who made them BEG for early seasons wesley crusher and who once, and I saw footage this wasn’t SF Debris exagreated, lunged at a crewmate in a jealous rage, unfounded by the way since Tom was AVOIDING kes depsite being attracted to her as he just wnated her to be happy and to not mess up her relationshpi, and screamed “i’ll kill you!”. Point is she hasn’t had a huge career, but was still worth noting and does a fantastic job here. Again I did not realize she was that young at the time by her voice, and that means she did a great job. 

So Jay’s smitten with her, finds her super attractive and she asks him out.. but to the show’s credit, and Jay’s he does try to rebuff her because he knows ther’es a conflict of intrest there.. but ends up giving in. However at least the show not only is upfront that there’s an issue here but that ends up being the thrust of the last act. Granted there’s still some.. questionable stuff like when she does the basic instinct leg cross and he says “can we get a shot of that”, which no.. Jay.. no you can’t. Ewwww. Seen far worse, like It’s Pat, which was a VERY real SNL sketch about people trying to guess the titular pat’s gender because that’s not creepy or invasive even for the time. And they made a movie out of it because Wayne’s World was popular forgetting that Wayne’s World, one of my faviorite movies by the way and one I need to cover here sometime this year now the thought’s occured to me, was a labor of love, with a talented director and actual ideas from it’s two leads who actually fleshed out the character versus a concept that was NEVER funny to begin with and has gotten down right horrifying with age. And wasn’t I talking about the Critic? Not the abusive jackass mind you, Jay Sherman. 

Ah yes so Jay takes Valerie to a date at Lane Riche, the rich jackass where we meet Vlada, a vaugely european man whose your typical hollywood suckup. As Jay puts it in a later episode  Vlada: I love you too Jay: You only love my money Vlada: That’s true but it is a love that will never die.  He also naturally scoots Jay to a less nice table in the Critic’s section once Conan O’Brian shows up... which WAS supposed to be a different kind of joke, as at the time Conan was just a writer on the simpsons and SNL, but now given he has a decades long career in late night and famously said fuck you to NBC during that whole Tonight Show debacle, which netted him his own show on TBS, it comes off more as the kind of self deprciating gag Conan makes about himself. So in other words it’s actually funnier now? 

As for the critic’s section that’s a part of the series I’ve neglected to talk about so let’s do that: The kind of critic Jay is, one who plays clips of the movie and reviews them.. on television. And were usually academics who looked down on popular film, the kind Siskel and Ebert popularized, and both suprisingly had a huge guest apperance in season 2 and even reviewed the show on their show. This kind of film criticism just dosen’t exist on tv that i’m aware of anymore, and mostly lives on with internet reviewers , many of whom were inspiried by critics like this, and who range from acadmeics to average joes to some mixture of both. It never went away just simply went to a younger generation. Some of which squandred it and somehow still have a career like certain abusuive jackasses i’ve mentioned enough with that one gag a few paragraphs ago. Point is it’s a much more varied and different game now so the critic ended up as one of those shows or movies where the main characters very job feels like an artifact of it’s time, like our heroes in Wayne’s World hosting a public acess show, when nowadays they’d just put it up on youtube or the entire idea of a UHF station in well.. UHF. It’s not a BAD thing, just something to note. 

But the date goes well as Valerie shows she’s really into jay and even takes him oggling her in stride, though we do get an utter classic of a gag when Jay says something about women being drawn to him.. and cue an old woman asking to rub his nonexistant hump for luck “You hunchbacks are all alike”. She does so anyway to his understandable annoyance. 

But the two go back to Jay’s place, talk about his acomplishments including a pulitzer and then well.. the obvious happens they go to bed together and the next day after Valerie is horrified at his just woke up fac,e he gives her an easy out but she’s fine with it. It honestly shows just how low the poor guy’s self esteem is that he just.. assumes a woman will regret having slept with hima nd walk out and while played for laughs it really gives a clear look into Jay’s mental state: He’s so full of self loathing, not helped by the world being out to get him, that it’s really oddly endearing. And VERY releatable.  The two are interupted by Jay’s son Marty. Marty is played by the very recognizable and very wonderful Christine Cavanagh, who sadly passed away in 2014. She voiced Chuckie Finster, Gosalyn Mallard, Oblina, Dexter from Dexter’s Lab and the titular pig from Babe. She decided to retire in 2001, so while her career was only about a decade she made quite the impact and is sorely missed. Unsuprisingly her usual voice is perfect for the very awkward Marty, who Jay asks to tell eveyrone about the beautiful woman in his bed especially his unfaithful and utterly loathsome ex wife ardith. 

This scene demonstrates two problems. The first is just the pilot as Jay’s kind of sleazy. While Jay being thirsty wouldn’t go away, especially in the episode Lady Hawke, it’d be made more awkwardly endearing. Here there are moments of him just plain being creepy like the aformentioned oggling, which while not bad in itself, if a bit awkawrd, also has him creepily muttering to himself while doing so which removes any charm or relatability and just sends it straight into needing 10 showers just to wash this scene off. The rest of the series would just turn him into a bit desperate at worst.  It also explains why the only other romantic story the guy has in the season is a pastiche of misery. Thanfully this would be GREATLY adjusted next season but we’ll get to that. 

The other problem is just the tone... we get a good half a minute of Marty talking about how he calls Ardith’s boyfriend “Uncle Al” because he likes him a lot.. to his dad’s face. And granted his dad is being creeptastic this episode but the early episodes just pile on the Jay hatred by the world a bit thick, to the point one episode puts him as “worse than hitler”. Granted the audience is full of idiot teens who have no idea who hitler is, and the gag is kinda funny, but it makes my point: Jay is just utterly shat on by the world, and while he does get a few wins, most are undercut by something awful and it gets taxing sometimes. The guy is just too loveably pathetic to hate, too relatable even as a teen and not snobish enough to be really loathsome or WANT to see him knocked down by the world. It’s not overwhelming enough to ruin the first season, it still has good episodes but this episode does highlight a LOT of these problems.  He does get to spend the day with val though, dancing outside the trump buliding, seriously even back then he was a joke and his lack of money half the time was well known.. how did the last four years happen, and they tell each other they love each other. I’d aww if I didn’t know how this ended.  So jay relates the good news of how he feels to his best friend, Jeremy Hawke, played by Maurice LaMarche. LaMarche is one of the most talented voice actors alive, a master of impersonations paticuarlly orson welles, who was naturally brought on board because they knew they were going to need a lot of celebrity voices for the film parodies and needed one or two guys to do them to keep it cheap. The guy is like most of this cast a legend in the industry, having voiced the Brain, Squit, Dizzy Devil, the Human Ton, Big Bob Pataki, Egon Spengler, Sleet,  Kiff Kroker, Headless Body of Agnew, Morbo, Various other Futurama characters because that list is long, Mortimer Mouse, Blue Falcone, Father, Yosemite Sam, Vincent Van Ghoul, Doctor Doom, Abradolf Lincler, and Odval. Point is the guy has been engranged in my childhood and adulthood and will probably even after he’s gone come back from the grave to do some voices. He even got the part of Jeremy Hawke here because he happened to do a REALLY good australian accent depsite not being australian. Jeremey was a combination of paul hogan, the star of the Crocodile Dundee movies and at the time sex symbol and at this time known anti semite Mel Gibson. Obviously neither of those refrences has aged paticuarlly well, but since hollywood ALWAYS has room for a super hunk from australia, just ask Chris Hemsworth or before him Hugh Jackman, the character still works and his breakout role, Crocodile Ghandi is so ludcrious it works. I.e. a white australian man playing the mahtma and saying before he brings peace “First a tasteful shot of my bum for the ladies. Jeremy, while sometimes increidbly oblvious, is still a fairly nice easygoing guy and an extremley loveable character. And whie Jay worries about Valrie meeting him because he’s sex on a cracker she ignores him and jay gloats for a bit, paticuarlly with the great bit “take your genatalia right back to australia”. And while Jeremy’s happy for him he tries to reign Jay in when Jay talks asking her to marry him.  As Jeremy later relates on Jay’s fire escape “Bubala, i’ve learned there’s two things you should never do: Marry an actress and wear blackface to the naacp image awards. Two things I found out the hard way. “

So Jay takes her to meet his parents and finds out he’s adopted.. and their also rich. Jay’s waspy parents are his cold and overly honest mother Elanor, played by  Judith Ivey, his kooky dad and THE best part of the series Franklin played by Gerrit Grahm and his loving and free spirited teenager sister Margo played by Nancy Cartwright.  Okay (cracks knuckles) here. we. go. Judith Ivey is a tony wining stage actress and has also directed numerous plays and is mostly known for her stage work but I know her from Designing Women where she played BJ in the last season. Garret Grahm apparently shows up in a lot of brian depalma movies, including Beef in phantom of the paradise, a lot of tv work and to my shock the asshole dad from Child’s Play 2. Another thing I genuinely love I wasn’t aware an actor or actress from this series had a part in.  Finally there’s Nancy Cartwright, who you DEFINTELY know from the Simpsons, where she plays Bart, along with Nelson, Ralph, Kearny, Database, and Maggie, and Kearny. Other credits include Pistol Pete, Mindy from Animaniacs, Chuckie Finster picking up for Christine Cavanagh ironically enough, Lu and Rufus from Kim Possible. She’s a talented lady and i’m glad sh’es still around. Whew. 

Okay so yeah I do love the shermans and fraknlin is again easily the best part of an already excellent series and unlike Duke that’s in full display here, with him saying, when his wife mentions they were going to give jay back at one time, “Son if I’ve said it once I said it a thousand times.. who are all you people. “ and he’d only get better. Sadly he’s NOT in sherman woman and child. Our loss really. But he’s in pretty much every other episode of season 2 thankfully and most of this season so eh, fair trade off. Also we get the classic line, after Jay says he’ll love valrie even when he’s decaying in the ground, his mom quips “Cna’t we go one meal without talking about your rotting corpse?” Though Eleanor understandably thinks Valarie is using jay for a good review. Margo suspects her of the same and takes her on a horse ride, though all she can gleam is that Val genuielly loves jay and welcomes her to the family.  Jay however does decide to duck out of the inteview by faking sick, which leads to a really sweet moment where Valerie visits him and they dance, in a hilaroius but oddly sweet parody of Beauty and the Beast, Beauty and King Dork. Despite the title and the song insluting him a LOT it’s still just endearing. This is a problem but we’ll get to in just a moment WHY all these touching moments are a problem.  So naturally things don’t go that well for Jay as Duke has a tape of the film sent to him “My shrink was right: GOd does hate me!”

Naturally kiss of death is bad and valrie is bad in it and Jay is left uncertain what to do, but eventually decides he has to do what he feels is right,.. though he does take a picture of her while she’s sleeping. “In case you do leave”

So in a tender and heartbreaking moment Jay is honest, the movie does suck and she’s not good but he does compliment her, for her personality not her body despite his skeevy behavior and say she could get better. Instead when he arrives home.. she dumps him to his face and leaves never to be seeen again while he assumes she’ll come back. And that’s the issue it’s GENUINELY hard to tell if we’re supposed to side with Jay. On one hand he genuinely loves her and does the right thing and on the oth er he’s kinda creepy. It’s a mixed tone that just sorta hurts thing and something the series DID fix after this, as it found a better ballance of the guy being pitable while also still being an ass and ONLY usually being punished when he does something actually wrong, the only exception being Dial M for MOther which is easily the weakest episode of the series. The episode does close on a really funny moment as Jay’s dispondent because “I’m sitting on top of a volcano of rage and I don’t knwo where to direct it”. Marty mentions a new Sylvester Stallone movie where “He plays a concert pianst who” And jay dosen’t even need the rest of that to shout “To the multiplex!” The man is back

Final Thoughts for Pilot: This episode is not bad. It has it’s flaws as I said, mostly in tone, but the series would iron that out and it’s still a great pilot that organically introduces the entire main cast in one episode and really gives us the full idea of who Jay Sherman is. It’s also REALLY funny, as the series should be and it would get better, but i’d still put it over some more awkward first episode like Letterkenny’s “No Reaosn to Get Excited”, even with it’s brilliant ending or Bojack Horseman’s first episode  whose title is way too long to put here in an article that’s already long as hell about about to get longer. But like those series this pilot worked pass the awkwardness and the result is a damn good series. but if you want a better idea of what it became.. wellllllll

Sherman, Woman and Child: So yeah as you can tell JSUT by contrasting images a few things were changed up between seasons, part of it at network instance. The designs were softened , the color palette was brightened with jay being the most noticably alterted between seasons. 

The execs wanted jay a bit warmer, so his face was given wider more expressive eyes and was also scrucnehd down a bit. He was also made slightly less of a jackass, with his elitisim toned down a bit and his creepeir moments gone. For instance he no longer had a split personality/imaginary secretary named ethel. That was actually a thing. It didn’t even really change Jay as a person, this very episode mentions him not liking the Lion King, and he’s still snooty, he’s jusst not as punchable about it and that was for the best.  But the cringe comedy in general was taken down a peg and replaced with more fun weirdness, which wihle present in season 1 really pops more here, especially with Jay’s dad who sadly dosen’t show up in this episode, but at various points dresses up like El Kabong, puts on the mask from the mask (”He did the same thing at Nixon’s funeral”), and blows up famous works of art while babysitting. But yeah things get a bit more surreal like the simpsons from season 4 onward, ironically enough given these guys left to make their own show, and it’s to the show’s benefit. 

But besides a lighter tone, they also wanted two things to hook viewers in: A permenant love intrest for Jay, and an adorable kid character. The former.. was acutlaly quite resonable, as i’td both give jay a “win” as it were, allow the cast to have another femlae character and give him someone else to confide in besides Doris or Jeremy, to give those characters a break. The other was less so and we’ll get into why when we meet her. 

This episode really is a second pilot, reintroducing about half of the main cast. Marty, Elanor, Margo and as I said Franklin are all absent. But their reintroduced soon enough with the fourth episode in both broadcast and dvd order, and my personal faviorite “A Song for Margo, is entirely focused on Jay’s parents and sister, while Lady Hawke has marty breifly at the start for broadcast order and he’s in the frmaing device for Sherman of Arabia in dvd order. So the characters all get a proper reintroduction to new audiences, but it was the right call to NOT shove them into this one, still introducing new people to the new cast, but letting the two new additions to it breathe and get properly intergrated into this universe.. well more Alice than Penny but we’ll get to that. It’s part of why, besides the genuine extra coat of polish aand seasonal changes I feel this is the better episode. 

So we open with Jay on his show and two parodies in a row. The first is a few good men but with Jack Nichelson making fun of Christan Slater for sounding like him even though. they honestly aren’t too similar other than both doing that pause thing a bit. So yeah not their best but the second segment makes up for it “The Nightmare Before Channukah” a parody of the nightmare before christmas that was so beautifully animated and funny, that they actually bumped it up to the season premiere.  But while the parodies are good Jay’s show is once again, this happened a LOT in season one, in jeapordy, being beaten by the Benedictine monk variety hour. Which while the Bendictine Monks are VERY much an artifact of the 90′s a choir of monks that somehow went mainstream, the whole segment is so absurd and wonderful it stands on it’s own and is still funny to me in 2021. Duke comes in anda fter trying to softball things shows the change I mentioned: He’s actually sorry the show is in danger and is genuinely sincere that he’s sad he’ll probably have to cancel it versus season 1 where he was ready to cancel it what felt like every other episode. And I prefer this, where he can still mess with jay or flex his power over him, but is more cordial with the guy and it allows more jokes between the two. 

So Jay’s not doing so good.. and during his crappy day he spots a 30 something woman and her young daughter struggling in the rain and stops his cab to help. And gets maced for it “MMM, Jalapeno”. Though Alice does apologize and Jay does understand as it is New York and she graciously takes the offer. It’s in the cab their properly introduced. Aliice thompkins and her daughter penny who in a great bit punches jay in the nose for not liking the lion king (”rex reed did the same thing”) and then kissing him on the nose in apology (”Rex did that too” And he acompanies them in.. and also gets conked on the head by a potted plant and put in a materinity dress. 

So we get to know Alice and what her deal is: Alice was once married to and supported the career of country star Cyrus Thompkins who was.. less than subtle in his music about how faithful he was

Easily one of my favorite gags of the series if in part for Pat Overall’s delivery. So she moved from Knoxville to New York to prove to her daughter a woman can make it on her own, and proves she’s smart, talented and driven she just needs a break. She seemingly gets one in a man in a bright white outfit who says “this is your ticket out of this rundown flophouse” only for him to cheerfully exclaim “Your being evicted!”... PFFFTT. Cue where the commerical would be

So during this lull in the action let’s talk about Alice and Penny’s voice actresses: Alice is voiced by Park Overall, though for some weird reason I thought she was voiced by Hollly Hunter. Dunno why. Park is an outspoken liberal, supporting my boy bernie sanders in 2016 and in general seems like a fascenating lady. Naturally like with Jay’s parents I know her from something more oddly specific, the sitcom Reba, as I did not realize she voiced alice depsite using a similar voice for her character there, Reba’s best friend Lori Ann.. And while Park TRIED her best.. the character didn’t work out: a combination of it being simply funnier that barbra jean tried to wedge herself into the roll and the fact Reba really didn’t need a horny abrasive sidekick meant the charcter had a very short shelf life and the audience had very low patience for her.  I did like her constnatly insulting Brock as he was not a good person andi t was nice SOMEONE besides Reba actually got to roast him on a regular basis. 

Penny was voiced by the one and only Russi Taylor, who sadly passed in 2019. She voiced Huey Dewey and Louie, Webby Vanderquack, Minnie Mouse, Fantasma, the imcomprable martin prince...

Among tons of smaller rolls. She’s sadly missed. We’ll get more into what they add or subtract from the show in a minute, as the next day at work Jay wonders how to help, though Duke’s interjection gives us two great gags: his “30 second workout” which involvees throwing jay around like a medicine ball and.. well this. 

The man is a legend for a reason. He earned that golden statue. So Jay TRIES slipping alice the money only to give it “To my good friend crazy postman”, and Alice refuses the money due to pride.. even if you know, she has a small child and new york is expensive but Jay finds a better solution, hire her.. even if it’d make it impossible for them to date. For all of one episode. What keeps the power dynamics from feeling EUGUUUUGGHH here is that Jay treats alice like an equal partner at work and dosen’t let their relationship really impact things outside of one episode, and dosen’t use his position to get into a relationship with her nor does she use being responsible for a turn in his fortune for hers. 

And yes turn in fortune, as a makeover and a change of attidue under Alice’s direction, which is utterly amazing to watch and wow’s duke and hte audience, wins back his fans and his job is secure. Duke meets alice and we get more great duke stuff. including something truly iconic...

I want bears who sing for me, doo dah, doo dah. But yeah things are well though Jay ends up admitting to Jeremy he can’t stop thinking about her “Her merest smile is like pedals of the empreror’s bathwater, BATHWATER I TELL YOU BATHWATER. “ So Jeremey encourages him carpe canum “Seize the dog”. He does so.. and the day but instead finds Alice with her ex Cyrus whose trying to win her back. Wuh oh.  Once the asshole leaves, and agrees to give her the night to think, Alice admits the only reason she’s considering it is she has a weakness: his singing melts her like butter on a bagle (”God i’ve been in new york too long”. )  Jay tries to talk her out of it at the critics meeting for “Dennis the Meance II Society” which involves Dennis pulling a drivebye on mr wilson.. why wasn’t this the second live action dennis the meance movie? WHY I ASK YOU. But Jay gets a good idea, as Alice TRIES to tell the asshole to get to stepping (And to see penny often, she’s not a monster), he works his evil song magic.. only for Jay to undercut it with his own amazing song on acordian. “Cyrus is just a virus, he wants to tie you down while your still young. Your potetial, is what’s essential, you could someday be another connie chung!” And that ultiamtely shows WHY jay is the better man. He just wants what’s best for her and dosen’t care if it’s him, he just wants it not to be THIS asshole. He’s not even trying to win her over, which a lot of these gestures creepily lead to. He just wants to help her be who she’s MEANT to be. And that’s why this works better: Instead of a fake relationship built on lust and someone conning the other person, it’s a real one built on genuine chemistry. Also Alice you know dosen’t just.. vanish after an episode but is a permenant part of the cast. I mean she does for the webisodes but we don’t talk about those. 

So our hero undercuts Cyrus one more time  Cyrus: “Loverrrr, without you there’s no other” Jay: Give him a chance he’ll do your mother....

I mean he’s not worng, So Cyus is sent packing and we get a nice romantic moment between the two. 

Final Thoguhts: Sherman, Woman and Child This one is truly excellent. It relaunchs the show on all cyllanders. And frankly Alice was a fine addition to the cast: her own fully fleshed out woman with her own personality outside of jay, who was tough, smart and a good counterpoint and confidant to Jay and it felt like she’d always fit. Penny on the other hand, apologizes to the late Russi Taylor who tries her best, just dosen’t work and feels ultra cloying and out of place in the series and unspurisingly is barely used after this. But overall a better pilot than the actual pilot was already pretty good and a fine pair of episodes. Check em out whenever the series eithe rgets on a streaming platform or pops back up on youtube as Sony’s struck it down... despite not putting it up anywhere i’m aware of. Seriously sell it to HBO Max or Disney I want a reboot. But for now this series is awesome check it out and until the next rainbow, it’s been a pleasure. 

[ciriceart]

OC profiles: the Lawson family

From the now-defunct semi-interactive comic/creative writing projects, “Hunger, Nevada”, “Far From Any Road”, and “Saudade”.

The plot of these three stories cover topics and conflicts such as learning to relate to those around you, breaking toxic cycles, smalltown stagnation and the isolation of close-knit communities, and metaphorical (sometimes literal) body horror monsters that slowly poison towns and families. I wrote these stories from the ages of 14 to 21, and they're all very much a reflection of myself and my perspectives/outlook at those times. I still go back and revisit certain areas, but can't see myself rewriting them in full any time soon. I feel like that would be a disservice to my past self - I used these to sort out and explore my own feelings and hangups, and they served their purpose, but I still draw and talk about the boys more often than I expected I would when I drew my first doodle of Ellis and Lawrence in 8th grade detention. This post is just an infodump about the family of the main characters. I'm not getting into plot details just yet. Though it is worth noting, this was at the height of my Silent Hill hyperfixation, and Ellis and Lawrence began life as the protags of my imaginary Silent Hill fangame for which I made an entire gamefaqs walkthrough because I did not know how to write or draw too well. That doesn't really matter too much now, I just think it's fun.

The Lawson family consists of Francis (or Frank) and Amalia Lawson, and their two sons, Ellis and Lawrence.

Frank is a large man, about 6’3 with green eyes, short auburn hair,  and a beard. His skin is somewhat pale but has a minor farmer’s tan from working outdoors, and there’s a spatter of freckles across his entire face. He sometimes wears rectangular half-frame glasses and uses a walking stick.

Amalia is about 5’4 and stocky, with dark brown, almost black hair cut in the patented Mom Bob(tm) with bangs and dark eyes. Her face is somewhat oblong with round, soft features and her skin is a warm mid-to-light brown.

Ellis ranges in age from 17 to 26 across plots. His facial structure favors his father. He’s about 5’10,  has very light brown skin, freckles on his face, arms, chest and shoulders, dark eyes and auburn hair. As a teenager, his hair reaches to about his jaw with an off-center part, and he keeps it short and parted on the side as he gets older. He usually at least attempts to comb his hair back but half of it just falls back in front of his face anyway. Sometimes sports various non-serious injuries such as scratches and bruises. He’s rough-and-tumble.

As a teen, most of his outfits consist of torn up jeans, skater shoes, and a plethora of graphic or band tees. Sometimes an old flannel stolen from dad, or black canvas jacket. As an adult, he wears mostly intact but faded black work pants, black or brown work boots, a plain T-shirt and often an unbuttoned overshirt with either short sleeves or the sleeves rolled up.

Lawrence also ranges in age across stories, from 9 to 17. His facial structure favors his mother. He has pale skin, freckles across his cheeks and the bridge of his nose, green eyes, and auburn hair in a short, choppy buzzcut that he later grows out to reach past his shoulders as he gets into his teens. As a child, he’s very short and scrappy, and then becomes gangly and awkward as a teenager.

As a child, his wardrobe is typically all childish graphic tees and cargo shorts or jeans, all picked out by his parents. As he gets older, he becomes introverted and shy, always covering himself up in an absurd number of layers – he's often seen wearing a short-sleeved shirt with long sleeves underneath, either a flannel or sweater, and a massively oversized forest green jacket with a red fleece collar. He usually sticks to plain, slightly baggy jeans and sneakers.

--

Frank and Amalia married in their mid to late 20’s and moved to Frank’s hometown of Ansley, [state redacted].

Frank works in a hardware store and as a repairman. Some years ago, Frank suffered a spinal injury, resulting in chronic pain and his use of a walking stick. He still works at the hardware store and takes repair jobs, though he’s unable to work as often or for as long as he used to.

Ellis drops out of high school in the second quarter of 11th grade to work full-time at the hardware store and begins picking up smaller repair jobs around town. Lawrence, being much younger, is not employed but occasionally does smaller tasks such as sweeping up or organizing shelves after closing hours, or tagging along with his brother or dad on repair jobs to help where he can.

Amalia works at a packing and shipping facility in the city. She works overnight, six days a week with Mondays off. She’s usually home about an hour before her sons have to get up for school. Amalia’s pack a day smoking habit and Frank’s temper are the subjects of most conflicts, but they never progress past passive aggressive remarks or heated discussions. The family occasionally relies on financial help from a man named Mike, whose family has been friends with Frank’s for several years, to make ends meet. He’s often the reason that their heat and water stay on.

The Lawsons are a practicing family of Amicists. They regularly attend service at The First Church of the Shoal United in the next town over. More on Amicism at a later date.

Ellis has a lot of pent up resentment toward authority figures and “grown-ups” in general, even into his own adulthood, due to Backstory Reasons I won’t get into here.

James, Marie, Robin, and Brian are Ellis’ friends from high school. They mostly sit around smoking pot and watching bad movies, sneak out to drink at the park after curfew, and attempt to skate in vacant parking lots.

James was held back in middle school and is one or two years older than the rest of the group. Most parents in town still call him Jimmy and think he’s a very nice boy. If asked to describe him, his long line of ex-girlfriends would say “he’s so nice, but GOD he’s so dumb.” Marie was closer to Robin and James than she was to Ellis, so they didn’t hang out outside of the group at all. She thought Ellis was kinda weird, but not a “bad weird” so she never mentioned it or complained. Robin is that sort of midwestern emo girl in everyone’s math class who’s an artist, but all she draws is semi realistic eyes with elaborate eyeliner in her English notes. She regularly gets into arguments with Ellis and James on what genre different bands count as. Brian is the obvious stoner friend who would be kinda chill to hang out with if he weren’t so loud and annoying about how his parents totally don’t even care and just like, totally let him do whatever he wants.

Dropping out of high school to work a fulltime job, having no interest in college, minimal relationship experience, and staying in such a small and rural town leads to Ellis becoming socially isolated and unable to fully relate with people his own age. He slowly falls out of touch with his friends and people he knew from school, preferring surface level interactions with older coworkers, relatives and friends of the family.

Lawrence, as a result of his older brother’s attempt at parenting while Frank and Amalia are working, learns to be untrusting and uncooperative as well. He picks up a smoking habit by age 14, often stealing them from Ellis or from their mom's purse when she’s home, and sneaks out of his and Ellis’ shared bedroom through the window at night.

Lawrence is a nice kid, but struggles to make friends. Throughout all of middle school and into high school, he only manages to befriend two others named Catherine and Donnie.

Donnie is Brian’s little brother. He and Lawrence aren’t actually friends, but they tend to tag along when Ellis and Brian hang out at each other’s houses. Catherine has known Lawrence since they were in third grade, but they never hung out until they got put in the same advanced math class in middle school.

As he gets older, Lawrence begins to neglect his few friendships and social life in favor of fiction; most notably stories and unfiction focusing on the occult and supernatural, as well as a video game series called Sprout Friends, a puzzle game involving farming and anthropomorphic fruits and vegetables. If he isn’t hiding out on the rooftop of the house at night, he’s locked in the bedroom playing one of multiple Sprout Friends titles, or hunting for strange occurrences around town during the night.

--

Fun fact: Ellis' middle name is Layne, and Lawrence's middle name is Elijah. I thought it would be cute if their middle names had the same first letters as each other's firsts.

[sleepykittypaws]

The Christmas House

Original Air Date: November 23, 2020 (Hallmark) Where to Watch?: Hallmark will replay it multiple times this season, and for every season in perpetuity

It's impossible to review Hallmark's The Christmas House without noting that this time last year, then-Crown Media CEO Bill Abbott was personally taking phone calls from a SPLC-designated hate group, and pulling a Zola ad showing two brides chastely kissing from his network, at that hate group's behest. The ensuing firestorm of well-earned criticism following Abbott's bad judgement, is, without question, what brought us to today, with Abbott ousted, a woman of color, Wonya Lucas, now at Hallmark's helm, and a still totally G-rated holiday lineup that now regularly features former Hallmark no-gos like, interracial romance and LGBTQ+ inclusion, improving Hallmark's abysmal diversity record, one movie at a time. 

So, even though Hallmark had to be dragged kicking and screaming into the 21st century, it's still hard not to be at least a little emotional that they're finally joining us here. The bigots are still having online temper tantrums about losing their all-white, all-straight safe space, but Hallmark's holiday ratings are up 7% year-over-year—a significant jump in a world where cable subscriptions are declining by 10-15% annually.

Now, what that progress looks like on a network known for being “clean,” conservative and about as unwilling to take risks as any channel on the planet, is another story. Frequent Hallmark star, and out gay actor, Jonathan Bennett, has been tirelessly talking about The Christmas House, since the day it went into production. And Bennett brings a lot of energy to this ensemble story, written by co-star Robert Buckley, of a family getting together to decorate their home one more time before it's sold. 

Buckley and Bennett play the sons of Sharon Lawrence and Treat Williams, a recently retired couple struggling with that fundamental shift in their relationship. Buckley is the star of a ridiculous court show, Handsome Justice, of which we luckily get to see a clip, and Bennett, a baker, and his husband, played by Brad Harder, are waiting to hear about an adoption, after several previous disappointments. 

Bennett and Buckley bring more humor than is normal for Hallmark to their portrayal of loving, competitive brothers, who clearly enjoy ribbing each other.

How conservative was past hallmark, you ask? Well, that Buckley's girl-next-door love interest is divorced, not widowed, is still a somewhat shocking twist in that world, as is the fact that both Buckley and Bennett are "allowed" to sport some facial scruff, rather than be clean shaven. Oh, and that the family next door is (gasp) Latino, is also something we likely wouldn't have seen in the Hallmark of yore. All of which is just mind-blowing, since those “days of yore” for this TV network were [checks notes]…2019, not 1968.

Lawrence and Williams are believable as a long term couple, and their life-change struggle to re-center their relationship feels real, but the way it's revealed is almost as anti-climactic as its resolution. The movie laid very unsubtle hints along the way—all storytelling progress aside, Hallmark movies are still written so you can half watch and not a miss a thing, allowing folks to join 20 minutes in, or do the dishes and come back without being confused—that Williams and Lawrence's wanting to have "one last Christmas" was about more than just downsizing in retirement. 

When Lawrence told the story of the clearly-actually-brand-new-and-from-Homegoods Santa pot, and what it meant to her, I thought Williams was going to later accidentally break Checkov's sentimental teapot and, in her anger, Lawrence would blurt out something about that's why they were separating, shocking their grown sons. 

And, honestly, as predictable as that would have been, it would probably have had more impact than what did happen…Lawrence just casually telling Buckley while stringing lights, and then nobody really mentioning it again, excepting oblique references during a single conversation between the brothers, and then Lawrence just announces at breakfast that they're not doing that after all.

Definitely feels like Hallmark's aversion to conflict in its stories is one of those provisions that is still firmly in place. (We saw a similar unwillingness to commit to actual marital difficulties, despite that being the central plot point, in Cranberry Christmas.)

Which is too bad, because Lawrence and Williams being much better than the actors usually used for these parent roles, could have handled a more realistic story well, and brought some real emotional beats to the movie.

As expected, Buckley's romance with Ana Ayora was the definite A-plot here, but why did their memory lane rekindling catalyst have to be close-up magic, the worst of all entertainment options? Was there no mime troop they could have been teenage members of? When it comes to magic, and jazz, I'm like Indiana Jones and snakes…Why'd it have to be magic?

Also, no way that 29-year-old guy they have playing "teenage" Mike grows up to be Robert Buckley. Nope! They definitely had to soft focus all the mostly unnecessary flashback scenes so that those actors, easily less than a decade younger than our leads, didn't quite look their age. 

And, c'mon, Buckley, who, again, is the star of his own TV show, gives the love of his life a necklace he bought…in high school? For real? I'm surprised we couldn't see her neck turn green in real time. At least get a gal a little upgrade. Sheesh! 

The whole rival real estate agent thing went nowhere. And what was that subplot even supposed to be about? Would have much rather seen a scene from the Handsome Justice episode where Buckley's character defended a dog accused of murder, than that whole waste of time. 

On the other hand, loved the Grift body spray mentions, and so glad we go to see that ad. Hallmark doesn't do subtle—"But will they get it?" is basically the network's motto—but this is one case of subtext just being text that worked.

Oh and, how did his parents buy a house on the Hudson river just by selling a nice, but fairly average, suburban home? Sure, they said it was a fixer upper, but anything on the water is gonna be way more pricey than where they were, and you've still got to have the cash to do the fixing. Also, you know the old adage about how nothing soothes a struggling marriage like a whole house renovation project, amirite?

Speaking of money…Why didn't Buckley just buy his folks the house right away if he didn't want to see it go? I mean, even if he's only a mid-level TV star, this wasn't some extravegent manse, and certainly wouldn't be an unusual thing for a well-off child to do for their middle-class parents. Why all the rigamarole with the weird guy and the rescinded offer? And, like, what was that all about? So many stories I'd have rather seen from this talented cast than some of the filler we actually got.

Harder didn't get nearly enough to do, but he and Bennett had decent chemistry and they got most of the best lines. The joke about "Will we decorate like this for our kids," and Bennett's emphatic, "No," cut the tension of an emotional scene well, with perfect timing, making it actually, laugh out loud funny—a Hallmark rarity. And when Harder appears in doorway after hearing from the adoption agency, and Bennett knows just by looking at his face what the call said, I got emotional.

That all the couples in this one got to kiss, including Bennett and Harder, is important. With the specter of last year's Zola debacle absolutely lingering over the entire movie, it's hard to think of a better, actual example of #LoveWins, than that moment.

I also teared up when we saw Bennett and Harder's family at the end, not only because it was a long overdue Hallmark milestone, but also because Harder's real-life son, Kael, played he and Bennett's on-screen adopted child, and is just so stinking cute.

Am I giving this bonus points for finally having an LGBTQ+ storyline, even if it was pretty far from the foreground? For sure. But Buckley and Bennett also brought humor and heart to this one, of a variety not usually found on Hallmark, and Lawrence and Williams also upped the ante on the quality here. Notable that Hallmark also sprung for two actual, name-brand holiday songs, so they were willing to spend a little bit of extra cash on this effort, which says more about their “commitment to diversity” than years of empty promises ever did.

Would have liked House even more, if Hallmark had been brave enough to swap the storylines; Bennett falling in love the boy next door, and Buckley and his bride waiting to hear about adoption, but barring that, do wish it had been bit more of a true ensemble (i.e. all three love stories had equal weight).

Despite quibbles, I'm still putting this on top of the 2020 Hallmark heap, at least for the moment, because I laughed, I cried and I felt good about the progress that has been made, no matter how long overdue it is.

As I've said so many times, representation really does matter, particularly on a channel like Hallmark, which caters to exactly the audience that most needs to see LGBTQ+ people laughing, living and loving, just like every other family.

Representation really can change lives. It opens hearts and minds. It can help those struggling within themselves feel seen and worthy. Really can not underestimate how transformative these normalizing glimpses can be, particularly for a network like Hallmark, with a large "conservative" audience. 

"Conservative" is in quotes, because there's nothing genuinely conservative about human rights, and respect for those unlike you. Empathy and acceptance for others should be a baseline standard for living in a society—not a political statement. 

No one has the right to deny someone else's humanity, and someone's choice to hold hate in their heart deserves no respect from Hallmark, or society at large. Really hopeful that some kid out there who feels excluded and awful about themself because their family and upbringing has told them everything they're feeling is wrong and sinful, can now see representation like this on their family's safe space TV channel, and know it's going to be OK.

It's a small step, but it's definitely a good one, and I'm really looking forward to the actual lead LGBTQ+ holiday romances coming soon, like Hulu's Happiest Season (Nov. 25), Lifetime's The Christmas Setup (Dec. 12) and Paramount Network's Dashing in December (Dec. 13), and hoping Hallmark joins that club in 2021.

Until then…

Final Judgement: 3 Paws Up

[twentiethcenturymoviesandtv]

Growing Pains: Facets of Filmmaking

Behind every television show, there’s a lot of work that the audience doesn’t see.  The cast choosing, script writing, premise picking, and more.  The behind-the-scenes work that goes into making a television show is often overlooked, without much special effects or camerawork to make it seem all that unique.  However, that doesn’t mean there isn’t a process necessary for a production team to go through in order to get that final product.

Such is the case for Growing Pains.

Growing Pains was a relatively standard sitcom idea that shared many similarities with other shows on at the time.  So similar in fact that several TV critics actually accused show creator Neil Marlens of ripping off the father’s home office as a doctor from rival sitcom The Cosby Show. As it turns out, Marlens actually got the idea from his own childhood, basing the characters and relationships of Jason and Maggie Seaver off of his own parents.  On the other hand, aspects of the show were deliberately modeled to be different than other sitcoms on at the time.  The character of Mike Seaver was intentionally designed to be the inverse of Alex P. Keaton, the eldest child of rival sitcom Family Ties.  

As far as the initial creation goes, there’s not much to tell about Growing Pains.  The show’s premise was basic enough, (most sitcoms were) not very hard to come up with.  What was considerably more difficult was finding actors to fit with the premise.

Casting the Seavers turned out to be a rather interesting challenge.  The part of Jason Seaver was notably difficult, as nobody who read for the part fit the bill.  Alan Thicke, primarily known as a talk show host at the time, wasn’t really wanted for the show by most of the production team.  After considerable tries (150)  at trying to cast the part with no success, (Bruce Willis was considered, believe it or not) they auditioned Alan Thicke, and cast him.  Thicke, as it turned out, worked extremely well with onscreen spouse, Joanna Kerns.  At the time of filming, both actors had just come out of divorces, and felt that bonding over the common experience helped their onscreen chemistry and relationship.

The casting for middle-child Carol was interesting as well.  Tracey Gold auditioned for the role of Carol all right, and lost to Elizabeth Ward.  After the pilot was filmed, her portrayal of the character tested badly with the studio audiences.  Worried, the producers asked for Gold to return to read her part again.  While she originally said no, as she’d already tried and moved on, the producers were persistent and convincing enough to persuade her to audition again, winning her the role.

After adding on fellow cast members Kirk Cameron (who got the role of the oldest at age 14, a year younger than Tracey Gold, who he had previously starred with in a Burger King commercial) and Jeremy Miller, the series was ready to roll on ABC.

But of course, the process doesn’t stop there.

The cast enjoyed each other’s company at first, routinely getting together to hang out.  Jeremy Miller was even reported to have missed his ‘TV Family’ so much that he cried at each end of the early seasons.  But unfortunately, behind-the-scenes is rarely as pleasant as the product itself.

There were, inevitably, problems.  Mostly related to cast.

Towards the end of the show, Kirk Cameron’s conversion to Christianity had a huge impact on the other cast members and the show itself.  Cameron insisted that the show be cleaned up, with suggestive material and language cleared out almost entirely.  To ensure this happened, he called ABC and accusing three of the show’s producers of being pornographers.  As the show drew to a close, Cameron began spending less time with his ‘TV’ family, leading to tensions on-set.  Years later, Cameron apologized for his aggressive behavior, admitting that it was rather rash and immature.  

Kirk Cameron wasn’t the only cast member with problems.  Tracey Gold’s battle with anorexia unfortunately hugely affected production behind-the-scenes.  She was dropped from many episodes later in the show due to her illness, and was brought back for a few episodes despite being an ‘insurance’ risk.  

Were the behind-the-scenes of Growing Pains perfect?  No.  Was it a complete disaster?  Also no.

Some things went smoothly, some didn’t.  Some started out okay and degenerated, and then picked back up again.  That’s life.

Although it was a Troubled Production towards the end of its run, Growing Pains was a huge success, winning an Emmy or two and being nominated for the Golden Globes multiple times during its seven-year-run.  Despite its problems, that’s nothing to sneeze at.  

In the end, shows like this don’t give me a whole lot to talk about.  Behind-the-scenes drama aside, Growing Pains was, for the most part, very standard.  And after that, there’s not a whole lot else to say.

Join us next time for our final look and personal thoughts on Growing Pains.  Don’t forget my ask box is always open for discussions, questions, suggestions, or conversations!  Thank you so much for reading, and I hope to see you in the next article.

[escaperoom123movies-blog]

Escape Room 123movies Review

Regardless of the banner, there is an astonishing absence of jigsaw astounds in this film. Or on the other hand skeletons, really. 

So at the beginning of today, escape room 123movies I took myself to the films and saw Escape Room, which I've been interested about since the trailers were delivered. I love escape rooms, I've played through The Room and every one of its spin-offs on numerous occasions, give me some old fashioned riddle unraveling and I am SO there! While I was anticipating a few panics, I was trusting there wouldn't be anything excessively horrifying since it conveys a PG-13 rating. Ideally there would be more sharp climatic alarms than violent passing scenes, and I was correct! 

(Fun certainty: did you realize that there were two films that turned out in 2017 likewise called Escape Room? I didn't until I was attempting to discover pictures for this film! Evidently, those two motion pictures are… not incredible, however I can't by and by vouch for them.) 

THE PLOT 

Escape room 123movies begins in, amusingly enough, an escape room! It at first appears as though a richly beautified front room, and everything is quiet until Logan Miller drops through the roof. He's limping, beat-up, and in all out frenzy mode as he totters to a convoluted looking number-labyrinth lock thing on the entryway. He understands that he needs four numbers, however when he pulls on the 1, the divider inverse him begins shutting in. Fantastic. We're in that spot with him as he battles to search for hints to locate the four numbers required as increasingly more of the excellent room gets decimated and squashed behind him. He finds the four numbers required, so he thinks, however they don't work, and we watch as he gradually gets squashed… .. … ..and afterward we flashback to three days earlier. Here we meet three of our fundamental characters, Zoey (played by Taylor Russell), Jason (played by Jay Ellis), and obviously, Ben (played by Logan Miller). If you don't mind, note that Ben appears to be marginally more assembled here, as in, he's not being squashed in an escape room��� yet. These three characters are unfathomably unique in relation to one another, and they each get a strange riddle box from somebody they know. The riddle box drives them to Minos Escape Rooms with the guarantee of ~fabulous money prizes~ on the off chance that they can fathom the unsolvable escape room. It is here we meet our other three principle cast individuals: Danny (played by Nik Dodani), Mike (played by Tyler Labine), and Amanda (played by Deborah Ann Woll). After Ben apparently breaks the door handle in the lounge area, the six unfortunates find that the sitting area IS the escape room, and the game has started. The remainder of the film is, you got it, an escape room! We learn all through the remainder of the film more about the characters and why they were picked for this lethal game through shockingly explicit subtleties in all the rooms, and furthermore, who sent them here in any case? 

There's a great deal of extremely sullen riddle understanding. Like, a great deal. 

THE REVIEW 

This film is incredibly fun. That feels wrong to state about a "mental loathsomeness spine chiller," however I swear it is enjoyable. As I would like to think, the film makes a captivating showing of uncovering minor character subtleties all through without dropping the huge bend until the correct second. I love things like this where you sense that you need to focus on everything about you'll miss something and genuinely perhaps you should watch it again to truly get everything?? I live for stuff that way. It was upsetting a result of what was going on and invigorating when something at long last went right. I truly appreciated it all in all, and I think my assessment of the film showed signs of escape room 123movies improvement the more I pondered it a short time later. Those are my preferred sorts of movies, the ones that make you consider them a while later. 

Presently it's an ideal opportunity to escape into the following room of this survey, (I don't know whether I'll have the option to keep up the play on words game for each audit, fam) so Spoiler Warning currently in actuality, and I truly suggest for this film you see it first totally ignorant concerning any spoilers or significant plot details!\ 

this room? This room directly here?? This is the most noticeably terrible room, undoubtedly 

THE MUSIC 

The music for this film was extremely novel when I saw it, and it's one explanation I need to watch it once more, since I'm certain there were prominent music minutes I missed. The score truly set up for anxiety and anticipation, and it helped me to remember the music played in each film where somebody's attempting to hack into a PC under a period limit. You know the one. Prominent music minutes incorporate the initial tune that sets the room we see Ben fall into, the melody that plays during the montage of Ben, Jason, and Zoey attempting to understand their riddle boxes, the end credits music, and obviously, that AWFUL contorted version of Petula Clark's "Downtown" that plays as a clock in the topsy turvy Pool Room, presented previously. Awful room. Most noticeably terrible room. Loathe it. 

Zoey is all that is unadulterated and acceptable known to mankind 

THE CHARACTERS 

By and large, there were a ton of affable characters in Escape Room, which is somewhat lamentable in light of the fact that a significant number of them don't, well, escape. All the characters were one of a kind, and I acknowledged how every one of them had various responses to the stressors in each room, as indicated by their character. Zoey is my supreme top choice, she was a joy to watch the whole film, and I so valued her being the outright brainiac of the gathering. More virtuoso WOC jobs in films, it would be ideal if you There was additionally an extraordinary character circular segment for Ben, which I incredibly delighted in, and there was a great deal of heart given to both Mike and Amanda too. Sadly, Danny isn't around sufficiently long to truly be created, and Jason ends up being a survivalist butt nugget with a significant predominance complex. Yet, for the most part, you felt for all the characters, and you needed to see them escape, which implied that their demise scenes for the most part hit you similarly as hard as they hit the survivors. Danny's passing is a stunner for every one of them, particularly Ben, and the manner in which Amanda's demise hits Zoey is grievous to observe however it puts Zoey into in-your-face survivor boss mode, which is entirely incredible. This implies, nonetheless, that Zoey is resolved to cut down the degenerate AF organization behind Minos escape room 123movies, which cool, yet in addition based off that last scene, NOOOOOOOOO!! 

This scene fools you into deduction everybody will be fine.

THE SCENERY 

Presently when I initially observed the trailer for Escape Room, I believed that each room would be intended for one of the characters explicitly. That is not really the situation, yet each room is definitely unique and extraordinarily fatal, with character-explicit subtleties woven-all through. They're totally structured so that you could see them being a real escape room in reality, with the exception of they all have an ACTUAL fatal curve, rather than entertainers and phony results. The little subtleties were extremely sharp and in some cases sort of tragic. The fire and stopped vent slither set off Amanda's PTSD in a truly gutting scene and prologue to her character. The tusk trophies in the room presented over each spoke to one of the notable reindeer from the "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" tune, which was unpleasant for Ben due to his flashback and harsh for the crowd since that is unmistakably intimating that the reindeer have been butchered which like, impolite, keep Christmas separate from this?? My least most loved room is the cold winter horrendousness essentially in light of the fact that it was pulverizing watching them cooperate to both arrangement with Danny's demise and attempt to dissolve the key required out of the focal point of a strong square of ice while they're sharing ONE coat among them. Ugh. In any case, a nearby second is that dumb topsy turvy pool room. Plan shrewd it's extraordinary, however generally? Detest it. Abhor what occurs. Probably not. 

Goodness hello look! There are skeletons in this film! 

THE TWIST 

Alright, on the off chance that you've perused this far and haven't seen the film yet, trust me when I state you actually most likely wanna see it first before I proceed. 

For every other person? Here we go. 

Escape Room has really, two or three turns when you consider it. The underlying turn is, obviously, the way that all the risky snares are in reality genuine and dangerous. The stakes are REAL high. 

The following turn comes in the room equipped like an emergency clinic. Each character is attracted to a particular bed, set up in an unexpected way. It turns out, each character invested energy sooner or later in the emergency clinic, and each bed is an ideal amusement of their room. Through conversation, they discover that every one of them was the sole overcomer of something horrendous that transpired (we get little blazes about what these occasions could be all through the film). Zoey makes sense of that whoever is running the escape room must need to see who, among them, is the "most fortunate of the fortunate." 

After a couple more rooms and a couple more passings, we find Ben, who did undoubtedly endure getting squashed in the sumptuous lounge escape room 123movies (so I surmise in fact he simply didn't get squashed). He stumbles into a type of stockroom with an enormous screen that shows every one of their photos, and every one of them, put something aside for his, have a huge red "X" up and over. In his image, he is marked the "Champ." A hairy British man goes into the room to uncover the following turn: this whole thing was set up by a gathering of exhausted, rich individuals who are entranced by the human will to endure. English Beard declares that people have consistently adored viewing different people in close demise circumstances, and they have run these escape rooms on various occasions, similar to an investigation, to attempt to make sense of what it is that makes up a definitive victor (sidenote: notice how this is likewise sort of a burrow at the crowd to the film? 

[entergamingxp]

Celebrating Blackness in Gaming’s Past, Present, and Future

June 9, 2020 2:30 PM EST

During times like this, it’s especially important to highlight and celebrate black heroes, casts, and developers themselves in video games.

With what’s been happening in the past and especially in light of current events, it’s important to reflect on the video games that have centered or been inclusive of black characters, as well as games led by black developers. Representation has been an ongoing conversation in video games (and other forms of media), and the desire for new stories told from the perspectives of diverse voices and backgrounds has only continued to grow.

In recent years, more games have been releasing that highlight black characters or have been created by black developers. A large chunk of those games are created by independent developers, who have far more creative freedom to craft the kinds of characters they would like to see in games. Even rarer are games led and published by black developers, with many of these narratives still being told by white creators.

But compared with the amount of white protagonists (and all or mostly white casts) that we often see in video games, there’s still so much work to be done. As we’ve been seeing in the past week, plenty of black creatives have been given the long-due spotlight to showcase their talents as opportunities from companies are finally opening up. I truly hope this will lead seeing more blackness reflected in both the games that we play and their internal development talent.

That said, there have been notable black characters and stories told through video games that are worth highlighting. Below, here are some of the most prominent games of the past several years that either star a black character, have a significant (as in mostly) black cast, or were made by black developers.

Telltale’s The Walking Dead

Many fans were enraptured by the first season of The Walking Dead, which introduced two lead black characters: Lee Everett and Clementine. Their relationship and overall story arc–backed by some seriously powerful writing–gave birth to one of the greatest narratives in gaming I have ever witnessed. After Lee’s death, seeing Clementine grow far too fast as she fights for survival while reconciling her perceived role in her father figure’s death is moving and harrowing. Most of all, Telltale’s The Walking Dead creates a sense of constant urgency and dread that completely sucks in the player and doesn’t let go until the very end.

Mafia III

Set in 1968 New Orleans, Mafia III follows the exploits of Lincoln Clay, a war veteran who aims to build a new criminal organization while seeking revenge on the Italian mob. The game holds an extremely uncompromising gaze at systematic racism while allowing for the black protagonist to empower himself and take back power from those who would strive to oppress him. The characters are compelling, and the setting and story of Mafia III offers a rare gaming experience that interweaves the experience of actual blackness in its narrative.

Chromatose

Chromatose is an upcoming indie title by a black lead developer going by the moniker Akabaka. A visual novel and JRPG blend influenced by Persona 3, it follows the protagonist as he awakens in a strange nightmare after a fall that should have ended his life. Amnesiac strangers are also trapped in this world for their own unique reasons. The haunting visuals filled with strong color contrast convey a tale filled with danger at every turn. Between a captivating and diverse cast, excellent monster designs, and a fast-paced battle system, Chromatose seems to be shaping up to be a gem of an indie game.

Watch Dogs 2

Watch Dogs 2 takes place in a fictionalized version of the San Francisco Bay Area and stars Marcus Holloway, a hacker who works with the hacking group DedSec to take down the city’s advanced surveillance system known as ctOS. Having the black hacker Marcus taking the lead role in this game adds a unique perspective on the plot that deals with fighting back in a system designed to strip away power and silence its citizens. Seeing him fight tirelessly and slowly gain traction against the city government is incredibly empowering and strengthens the overall narrative even more.

Murder By Numbers

For fans of the excellent Ace Attorney series comes an indie game with a similar approach to storytelling, over-the-top characters, and investigative gameplay. Murder By Numbers takes place in 1996 Los Angeles and stars Honor Mizrahi, an actress on a hit TV detective show. Unfortunately, her boss winds up dead just moments after he fires her and she finds herself forced to investigate his murder in order to secure her own innocence. Putting aside the harsh reality of black women being kicked out of their own careers, the game does well in emulating the fun and often ridiculous style of Ace Attorney while establishing its own charm. Much of that charm is attributed to Honor herself, who’s plucky, determined, and resourceful, as well as her interactions with her robot sidekick SCOUT. Murder By Numbers is a fun and lighthearted foray complimented by Picross-style puzzles that’s worth checking out.

Apex Legends

Seemingly (but officially unconfirmed) in response to the Overwatch controversy surrounding its lack of playable black women, the free-to-play Battle Royale game launched with two black women characters: Anita Williams and Ajay Che. Not only that, but these two were and still are front and center in the marketing of Apex Legends, which is very notable. While the game is light on lore (as games in this genre tend to be), both of them have very separate upbringings, personalities, and combat proficiencies. From what we know of them, they have well-fleshed-out motivations for why they fight. And I really love the touch that Ajay is a healer, an archetype you don’t tend to see associated with black women characters.

She Dreams Elsewhere

This indie title is a true rarity in that the entire party is black and stars a black woman protagonist. She Dreams Elsewhere is a surrealist adventure RPG where you traverse protagonist Thalia’s dreamscape along with her friends. She must come to grips with and confront her mental health conditions, and escape from a never-ending coma. One part Undertale, one part Persona, it’s a game made beautiful through its retro simplicity and haunting soundtrack that combines black music such as R&B, funk, and jazz. Not only do we have that level of diversity and culture, but the characters themselves–especially Thalia–are fleshed out and fully-developed. When pitted against the well-designed monsters using abilities grounded in reality, She Dreams Elsewhere truly ups the surrealism surrounding its setting and atmosphere.

EQQO

EQQO is a unique title, in terms of both its passive storytelling and gameplay, as well as the fact that it’s inspired by Ethiopian mythology. This game is the tale of a mother as she weaves a great story of her son born blind yet full of life and love. The puzzle-based exploration and gameplay is presented as a mythological legend slowly unfolding as the mother, playing as the narrator, tells it. Gorgeous orchestrated music complements the visuals in a harmony that gives even more depth to the narrative. Seeing this level of care and detail with a mythology that is rarely represented in gaming gives me hope that the future will bring more games like this one being created and given proper attention.

Cyberpunk 2077

It’s exceedingly rare to find a triple A title’s universe created by a black person, and yet the upcoming Cyberpunk 2077 is just that exception. Mike Pondsmith is best known for his work for the publisher R. Talsorian Games, where he developed a majority of the company’s roleplaying game lines. His most recent project is the collaboration between himself and CD Projekt Red, Cyberpunk 2077, which takes place in his own Cyberpunk RPG universe. Pondsmith’s involvement in the video game’s development mostly focuses on the game world aspect and mechanics as well as his general input, such as shooting a bulletproof backpack to test just how a bullet would react with it; for implementing in the game properly, of course.

Streets of Rage 4

The triumphant return of the wildly popular 2D side scrolling beat-em-up franchise, Streets of Rage 4 stars a cast almost entirely of black/POC fighters including newcomer Cherry Hunter. Wood Oak City falls under the control of a new crime syndicate led by Mr. X’s children, the Y Twins, who are planning on brainwashing the city with the use of hypnotic music. The plot, while simple, is a great excuse to beat up some mooks and the character designs, animation, and music are phenomenal. Also that’s not to mention that Cherry, Floyd Iraia, and Cherry’s father Adam Hunter are featured very prominently on the cover and the general advertising. It’s great to see a beat-em-up starring so many cool black characters.

Earthnight

A love letter to classic fast-paced 2D platformers (think Sonic the Hedgehog), Earthnight uses the genre to tell a tale of a bleak dragon apocalypse where humans have been exiled to space, forced to live in orbit above the planet. Protagonists Sydney and Stanley team up one day and decide to skydive back to Earth, taking out as many dragons as they can along the way. The 2D animations are breathtaking; everything from the ripples in their clothing, to the fluidity of their general movements, to the colorful and insane monsters that can take up nearly the entire screen are stunning. It’s clear there was a lot of love and effort put into this game. I also need to mention how much I love Sydney’s design and the way she’s front and center in the trailers. How can you beat a game that lets you fight dragons because a little girl and a dude had enough?

Broken Age

Broken Age released back in 2014 and 2015 as two separate acts by Double Fine and starred protagonists Vella Tartine and Shay Volta (played by Masasa Moyo and Elijah Wood, respectively). While initially their narratives are completely separate from each other, as the story unfolds you realize how intertwined they really are. What makes the storytelling so satisfying is that because the protagonists are kept separate for so long, their individual character arcs can develop in a satisfying way without interfering in the overall story. Vella, the young black girl, in particular had a very strong and compelling story worth experiencing. In Broken Age, seeing her deal with traumatic events as she fought back against a seemingly unavoidable force of destruction made for an excellent real-life comparison to black struggle.

Here are some honorable mentions of other games featuring black/POC characters that, though they didn’t make my list, are worth checking out:

Assassin’s Creed Origins

Half-Life: Alyx

Afterparty

Treachery in Beatdown City

Where the Water Tastes Like Wine

Dishonored: Death of the Outsider

Beyond Good and Evil

Remember Me

If you’re looking for more black indie talent, check out this Twitter thread as well as this one. For a huge directory of black game developers and their projects, check out the Black Game Developers website and consider supporting them.

And finally if you’re a Black, Asian, and/or Ethnic minority, Code Coven is offering scholarships for their Intro to Game Making Course, which will be open until June 10, 2020.

Are there any games or developers you know of that deserve a mention? Feel free to sound off in the comments!

June 9, 2020 2:30 PM EST

from EnterGamingXP https://entergamingxp.com/2020/06/celebrating-blackness-in-gamings-past-present-and-future/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=celebrating-blackness-in-gamings-past-present-and-future

[sseizonsha]

Leon and Survival

Motivations and Guilt as an Agent of Death    

  The Biohazard universe requires the audience to suspend disbelief, particularly in regards to the protagonists surviving events where others would have died. One could argue that this is merely protagonist armor for the sake of thrills and playing the game, but if you’ll allow me, I’d like to get a little more symbolic and meta about this fact. 

  Leon is defined most prominently by two things: his tenacity, quick-thinking, and improvisation in the field, and the severity of the loss he experiences when he fails to save people in need. This eventually leads Leon to become the jaded and a little more distrusting version of what he used to be. But what’s most important here is despite this, Leon never loses his penchant for gambling on a snowball’s chance in hell. He never loses his idealism. He never stops believing he can help someone.

    If I could let myself be facetious for a moment: Leon S. Kennedy. Leon Sentimental Kennedy. Leon Self-Sacrificing Kennedy. Leon Serve Justice Kennedy. Leon, ever the Survivor. 

    I have touched on this before in my exploration of Leon’s PTSD, but I really need to stress for anyone and everyone willing to listen: Leon does not take the term “survivor” as a compliment or as something to be lauded, and he prefers not to be referred to as such. At best, he uses it ironically in order to make fatalistic, derisive jabs at himself. The term serves as a reminder of all the people he’s failed and all the innocents he’s lost. This is also why, in Degeneration when defending Claire’s expertise, he omitted the fact that she wasn’t the only Raccoon City survivor in the room.

   For Leon, helping others get to safety supersedes everything, including direct orders from top brass on mission; at the root of it, seeing others get out and survive IS his mission. Take, for example:

The important scene in RE2 leading up to and following Robert Kendo’s death, in which Leon shows serious emotional compassion for Kendo’s family and demands that Ada not keep the truth from innocent people. He explains that helping people is the only reason why he’s even here, that he cannot and will not allow her or anyone else keep the truth quiet. 

 When Leon and Helena are walking through Ivy University and come across the man looking for his daughter. Helena insists that they don’t have time for this, to which Leon responds, “We’re making the time.” 

   There is nothing more important or valuable to him than another’s life. Therein lies the  greatest source of scarring and trauma for Leon: most of the people he stops to help end up dying anyway, and he is left standing over his friends’ and charges’ bodies, asking himself what exactly was the point of it all. 

   One could argue that this signifies Leon being protected by a force greater than himself. But you could also argue that Leon is that very protective force acting upon others. It is a secondary role, certainly, as his main career and role is to protect and serve and keep others alive. But no less important is this one: in which Leon S. Kennedy assumes the role of a psychopomp in the Biohazard universe.

    Greek for “conveyer of the soul,” psychopomps serve a crucial role in most mythologies in that they exist to guide the recently deceased to the afterlife without hitch. It is important to note that many psychopomps do not exist to judge the soul; that they simply guide them to the next stage of passing. They are described as liminal beings: able to pass through both the land of the living and the land of the dead. 

Below the read more I will explore these three defining aspects of Leon as a psychopomp. This is already a long post. Take a breather, maybe. Get some water. Get some sleep. 

Judgement

   One major quality that separates Leon’s character from many of the heroes in the Biohazard universe is that Leon's primary motivation is protecting innocents from villains rather than fighting the villains themselves; his personal stake in this fight is one based on compassion and the need for helping the victims and survivors. He doesn’t waste his time hating the bad guys more so than combating the corruption and greed that they stand for. 

  It is this nonjudgmental quality about Leon that allows him to see the world in shades of grey. He can empathize with motivations even if he doesn’t agree with them, and it’s for this reason why he can work so easily beside people like Ada Wong, Manuela Hidalgo, and Alexander Kozachenko. 

  With Leon as a psychopomp, this grey morality works for another reason: that a number of the characters who’ve died and had an impact on Leon all confessed some manner of sin to him before they died. More than that, they all acknowledge Leon in their own way. Below I will list some notable examples:

Marvin Branagh: Arguably the catalyst for Leon accepting his role in this fight, Marvin is first of many people to die in Leon’s line of service to the cause. When the Lieutenant insists that Leon leave without him, Leon refuses and says there’s still time. It is only when Marvin pulls a gun on him to save himself that Leon relents. Marvin names his guilt: “I tried, Leon. But I couldn’t stop it. We can’t let this thing spread. It’s on you now.” 

Ada Wong: (subverted) Ada Wong is an entire meta post on her own in regards to Leon’s feelings, but she deserves mention here. The pain of her betrayal, “Why couldn’t you just hand over the sample,” was later exacerbated with the knowledge that she chose (allegedly) to die on her own terms rather than allowing Leon to save her. Ada tells him that “It isn’t worth it. Take care of yourself,” before falling to her supposed death.

Adam Benford: The United States President and long-time friend of Leon’s, Adam was prepared to sink the USA’s reputation into the ground for the sake of the truth and taking responsibility. When he tells Leon this confession, Leon responds with surprise but ultimately with support: “Whatever you decide, sir, I’m with you.” Adam validates Leon and tells him, “I’ve always valued your friendship.” I imagine this is one of the last things he says to Leon before he dies by Leon’s hand.

Luis Sera: Did not intend to die by anyone’s hands, including his own, but his motivations for helping Leon and Ashley are driven entirely by a need to repent. “I am a researcher, hired by Saddler....The sample. Saddler took it. You have to get it back.” 

Liminal Beings

   Spiritual guides are so powerful in the fact that they have an uncanny ability to travel between both worlds (living and dead) with ease. The most obvious parallel of this is Leon’s sheer luck in getting roped into outbreaks of undead infections and leaving alive and relatively unscathed. Such an existence is a lonely one. While the psychopomp may have companions for a time ( mission partners or innocents in need ),  a rare few share his ability to travel between spaces; most often than not, those who follow from one destination must remain behind or move on. 

   When the psychopomp travels, it is often within a vessel which few can drive or operate, which is undoubtedly symbolic of the soul’s lack of control. In media and story-telling this is actually a trope known as the Afterlife Express. Leon S. Kennedy is often written and played in tandem with vehicular scenes, regardless of whether he is operator, passenger, or witness: 

The beginning of Resident Evil 2: In which Leon drives his own Jeep (in full control) and ultimately switches to drive an abandoned RPD police cruiser deeper into Hell; it is subsequently crashed into and destroyed by an oncoming semi. Leon is temporarily trapped in Hell and must survive and find another way out (via the endgame train).

The beginning of Resident Evil 4: In which Leon is being driven by someone else into the countryside Pueblo. He is shown to be gazing out the window, contemplating on prior events. It is a recollection of his life’s past---his---but the ones doomed to meet their deaths are the Spanish police, who up until seemed so deceptively in control of the situation. 

RE4: Ada driving the boat to the island. Again, subverted, as Ada does not die but chooses to leave the vehicle on her own terms.This forces Leon to take the controls and steer himself the rest of the way to his next area.

RE4: Mike and the helicopter. He meets and interacts with Leon just long enough to help guide Leon along his path; his death is a subsequent righting of roles. Leon witnessing Mike’s death and promising to honor him posthumously fixes this. 

RE6: The start screen and Lanshiang. Leon rides a train with no known conductor steering the rails. The train is empty, save for himself; then with his companion, then with the soul he is sent to fight (Simmons.) 

RE6: The plane. The pilot is subsequently killed and mutates into a Lepotica. Because everyone on board, with the exception of Leon and Helena, are infected, Leon is forced to take the controls and land the plane as best he can. Leon crashing the plane and surviving with Helena attests to his ability to move between literal spaces; the corpses and zombies destroyed in the plane crash all move on to the next world.

RE Damnation and the tank:  While Sasha drives the tank and steers seemingly to his death against the Tyrant-Class mutant, Leon intervenes.

As a Guide

   Beyond everything else that’s been said---and beyond the obvious that Leon’s primary duties are protective detail and getting his charges where they need to go, Leon's presence serves as a reassuring boon to many of the people he comes across.

   Leon internalizes the deaths of everyone he fails to save. The main issue with this beyond the way it affects him is that Leon lacks the ability to see the reality of hindsight. Events in which an outbreak occurred (Harvardsville, Tall Oaks, Lanshiang) happened in a large enough scale that containment was nearly impossible. Sterilization was more or less the only way to eradicate the issue at hand. With or without Leon’s self-sacrificing and offers to help, the fact of the matter remains glaringly obvious to anyone else: 

   Most of the people caught in the chaos of these events likely would’ve died anyway.

   Leon stopping to help gave these survivors the chance to last longer than they might have otherwise. He took that snowball’s chance in hell and made it count for what it was worth. The truth of the matter is? Although he is written as psychopomp symbolically, he is first and foremost incredibly and literally human. 

   From the symbolic, spiritual perspective, Leon is incapable of realizing that it is not his job to stop all of these people from dying---it is simply his job to be there for them so that they are not alone. 

[thecomicsnexus]

The Human Torch

MARVEL COMICS #1 OCTOBER 1939 BY CARL BURGOS, PAUL GUSTAVSON, BILL EVERETT, AL ANDERS, TOHM DIXON, BOB BYRD AND BEN THOMPSON

CONTEXT

Pulp-magazine publisher Martin Goodman founded the company later known as Marvel Comics under the name Timely Publications in 1939. Goodman, who had started with a Western pulp in 1933, was expanding into the emerging—and by then already highly popular—new medium of comic books. Launching his new line from his existing company's offices at 330 West 42nd Street, New York City, he officially held the titles of editor, managing editor, and business manager, with Abraham Goodman (Martin's brother) officially listed as publisher.

Timely's first publication, Marvel Comics #1 (cover dated Oct. 1939), included the first appearance of Carl Burgos' android superhero the Human Torch, and the first appearances of Bill Everett's anti-hero Namor the Sub-Mariner, among other features. The issue was a great success; it and a second printing the following month sold a combined nearly 900,000 copies. While its contents came from an outside packager, Funnies, Inc., Timely had its own staff in place by the following year. The company's first true editor, writer-artist Joe Simon, teamed with artist Jack Kirby to create one of the first patriotically themed superheroes, Captain America, in Captain America Comics #1 (March 1941). It, too, proved a hit, with sales of nearly one million. Goodman formed Timely Comics, Inc., beginning with comics cover-dated April 1941 or Spring 1941.

While no other Timely character would achieve the success of these three characters, some notable heroes—many of which continue to appear in modern-day retcon appearances and flashbacks—include the Whizzer, Miss America, the Destroyer, the original Vision, and the Angel. Timely also published one of humor cartoonist Basil Wolverton's best-known features, "Powerhouse Pepper", as well as a line of children's funny-animal comics featuring characters like Super Rabbit and the duo Ziggy Pig and Silly Seal.

Goodman hired his wife's cousin, Stanley Lieber, as a general office assistant in 1939. When editor Simon left the company in late 1941, Goodman made Lieber—by then writing pseudonymously as "Stan Lee"—interim editor of the comics line, a position Lee kept for decades except for three years during his military service in World War II. Lee wrote extensively for Timely, contributing to a number of different titles.

Goodman's business strategy involved having his various magazines and comic books published by a number of corporations all operating out of the same office and with the same staff. One of these shell companies through which Timely Comics was published was named Marvel Comics by at least Marvel Mystery Comics #55 (May 1944). As well, some comics' covers, such as All Surprise Comics #12 (Winter 1946–47), were labeled "A Marvel Magazine" many years before Goodman would formally adopt the name in 1961.

SYNOPSIS (FROM MARVEL WIKIA)

Professor Horton is holding a conference with the press, ready to reveal his creation to the world - the first android. He reveals that there is a difficult problem with his discovery. Leading the press into the lab, Horton points to a man in an air-tight, glass cage whom he calls The Human Torch. When air is let into the chamber, the man's entire body catches fire. The press in the room demand him to destroy his creation "before some madman can grasp its principles and hurl it against our civilization!" Horton refuses. Later, he is contacted and visited by The Scientist Guild. They also recommend destruction of the android since the flames cannot be controlled.

They come to a compromise. The Human Torch is sealed within a steel tube which is then sealed in a block of concrete. Horton vows to find the secret to controlling the flame.

However, some time later there is an explosion outside Horton's bedroom window. He finds the Torch gone. It is revealed that there was a slow oxygen leak in the steel tube. The Torch runs through the streets of the city, confused as to why everything he touches catches on fire. Some firemen douse him with water, but it just turns into steam. Realizing he is causing damage, the Torch dives into a pool in an effort to put out the flame.

Inside the house with the pool, there are two men: Sardo, a racketeer, and Red, his not-so-smart lieutenant. Sardo realizes the Torch could be worth a lot of money, if used correctly. The two men go to Acmen Warehouses - Inc. to sell some fire insurance. Sardo threatens that if the company doesn't buy it, they won't have any steel left. Mr. Harris, the company's president, refuses the offer and kicks the man out.

Sardo and Red place The Human Torch in a glass tube filled with water and transport him to a warehouse. There, they place him inside and throw a weight at the glass. As it shatters, the Torch bursts into flame. He quickly realizes what they are up to, and escapes with a mighty leap. The flames make him lighter than air. He burns Sardo's house down, but can't seem to find the criminal himself, who is hiding in the steel underground lab. After taking care of Sardo's men, the Torch locates the lab. Sirens catch the attention of both men. Horton and the firemen arrive on the scene. The professor notices a nitrogen tank in the flames and rushes towards it, but the Torch gets there first and melts it before it can explode. The gas puts out his flames. The fire chief fires a gun at him, but the bullet melts on his super-heated skin. The Torch returns to Sardo, who attempts to bargain for his life. The man ends up throwing a tank of sulfuric acid at the flaming android, but it backfires and explodes before even reaching the target. Sardo is killed in the blast.

After using another tank of nitro, The Torch discovers he can now control the flames and throw fireballs. While walking down the street, covered in flames, he is surrounded by the police. The Torch apologizes and demonstrates his control over the fire. The police take him to headquarters where he explains Sardo's evil plans. They let him live with Professor Horton, who takes full responsibility. The Torch explains his control over the fire to Horton, who sees it as a money-making opportunity. The Torch realizes that humans will only continue to use him for their selfish purposes and escapes through the ceiling to be free.

THE ANGEL

The Six Big Men (consisting of; Dutch Hansen who specialized in extorting protection money from night clubs; Trigger Bolo, who controlled a protection racket for retail delivery companies; Mike Malone who controlled all the illegal gambling dens; Gus Ronson who extorted local restaurants; John Dillon who ran a racket on the subway system; and Steve Enkel who fixed politicians, judges and juries) are terrorizing the city.

Eventually Dr. Lang (really the gang's leader), pretending to be a civic minded citizen gathers a bunch of like minded individuals, and had them sworn in by a mayor as special investigators. They seek to hire the costumed hero known as the Angel to hunt down and eliminate each of the racket bosses. The Angel had already taken up the job and makes his presence known, leaving Dr. Lang to believe that his plan was coming to fruition.

The Angel first goes after Ronson who was acquitted of crimes thanks to a crooked jury. Unaware that the Angel had sneaked into the back seat of his car, Ronson is strangled to death by the vigilante. Going after Mike Malone next, Angel mashes the crook into a pulp. Witnessing this John Dillon attempts to flee the Angel, jumping out a window and falling to his death. Lil provides the Angel with the location of Trigger Bolo and but vigilante is captured by his thugs. However, before Bolo could mow the Angel down, Lil orders him and Steve Enkel to take the Angel out into the woods to be executed. There Lil double crosses Bolo and Enkel, freeing the Angel, and in the ensuring fire fight Bolo and Enkel ended up killing each other.

The Angel next catches Dutch Hansen before he could make a deposit of all the stolen loot and slays him as well. Curious about who would go and pick up the loot from the safety deposit box, the Angel stakes it out and catches Lil and Dr. Lang in the act. He captures them and turns them over to the authorities, learning of their plot to double cross their colleagues in the process.

THE SUBMARINER

A diver from salvage vessel finds wrecked ship's safe empty and just recently dropped knife from shipwreck's deck. Captain orders him back down to investigate with another diver. They are searching the wreckage when attacked by Namor, the Sub-Mariner! He savagely attacks both men, stabbing one and crushing the diving helmet of the other. Namor then turns his attention to the ship, wrecking the propeller and running it aground. He heads back to his underwater home, where he is greeted by the "Holy One" who commends him on his attack against the humans. Namor brings the bodies of the two divers as trophies. His mother, Fen, congratulates him on beginning his war of revenge in such a decisive manner. Namor asks her why their people hate the Earth-men so much.

She explains that in the year 1920, a research vessel called the Oracle had journeyed to Antarctica and was doing "experiments" with explosives that killed many of their fellow citizens. Since Fen looked most like a human, she was sent to find out more about what was going on. She fell in love with Commander Leonard McKenzie, and became pregnant by him. The sailors could not understand how she was able to swim in the freezing water. She learned their language and sent back messages to the undersea army that the white men were too strong for them, but they sent an army to fight those invaders anyway. The white men's bombardment annihilated most of their race, and now, 20 years later, they are ready once again to press an attack against Earth-people, and Namor will begin this war.

Later, he takes his cousin Dorma with him to the Cape Anna Lighthouse. Once there, they attack the guard who stands watch on the lighthouse and wreak havoc on the controls and equipment hoping to destroy some of the ships that use it's beacon for safety. Some naval men come on the scene, and in order to escape, Namor and Dorma commandeer a plane which flies nearby. Sub-Mariner commands Dorma to wreck the plane and swim back home as Namor continues his crusade against humans.

THE MASKED RAIDER

Cal Brunder, a big league rancher has become a menace of Cactusville, using his army of thugs to force the smaller ranchers into selling up their property. One night they attempt to coerce Jim Gardley into giving up his land but he refuses and fights back. Brunder's goons get the drop on him and take him to their boss, who gives Gardley one last chance to surrender his land, a request that is also refused. Cal calls the sheriff to have Jim charged on trumped up cattle rustling charges and he is locked in jail.

Realizing the old sheriff is not cut out for his job anymore, Jim feigns being sick, in order to trick the sheriff into opening his cell and so Gardley knocks him out. Stealing a horse and riding out into the wilderness, Jim lets the horse free and then raids his own ranch for supplies. He spends the next number of weeks practicing his shooting skills until he becomes a crack shot. Seeking a horse, he spots a white stallion running free and one day is surprised to see that it had been caught and penned in. Taming the horse, he names it Lightning. Jim then decides it is time to go after Cal Brunder, and swearing to fight crime he dawns a black mask and dubs himself the Masked Raider.

Meanwhile, back in town Cal Brunder gets opposition from the Bleck Ranch and sends his boys to shoot the ranch owner and burn the ranch to the ground as a warning to the other ranches to give up their properties. When the sheriff confronts Cal about it, Cal warns the sheriff against opposing him. Soon Brunder's reign of terror nets with success as the ranchers prepare to deal with him.

However, just after Cal hears the news he is alerted that one of his men has been shot. Pegged to his corpse is a note, a warning to Brunder and his men that they will pay for their crimes. After gaining the support of the sheriff the Masked Raider rides into Cal Brunder's ranch and begins dusting it up with the aid of the townsmen. As the Masked Raider deals with his goons, Cal attempts to escape on a horseback. However the Masked Raider ropes him in a lasso and pulls him off his horse. He then turns Brunder and his men over to the sheriff to be sent off to jail. After the Masked Raider leaves, the sheriff wonders if the Masked Rider will go after bigger criminals.

JUNGLE TERROR

After Professor John Roberts has been gone for three months searching the jungles of the Amazon to find a diamond that can supposedly enslave people, his friend Ken Masters and nephew Tim Roberts decide to travel out to find the missing scientist. As they fly out from Florida in their own plane, they soon become aware that they are being followed by John Crafton -- a rival plantation owner.

Unfortunately for Ken and Tim, their plane cracks up and they crash, and while they survive they are soon captured by some of the local natives. Crafton and his men land safely and when they are confronted by the natives as well, they try to fight them but one of John's men is killed before they can flee the scene.

In the native village, Ken and Tim are brought to the chief who sentences them to death and sequesters them in a prisoner hut until it's time to be executed. To their surprise Professor Roberts is there as well. The Professor explains that the natives were friendly to him until they realized that he was after the diamond and locked him up. However, he had just recently found a passageway hidden in the floor and the trio decides to use it and escape the natives.

They find themselves in a cavern that leads them to a massive stockpile of diamonds. Before they can start to collect those they are confronted by John Crafton and his goon Slug who have also fled from the natives through escape hatch in the prisoner hut. The natives catch up and kill Crafton and Slug with arrows. Ken, taking Crafton's pistol holds the natives at bay while Ken and the professor flee. Ken catches up to them just as they find Crafton's airplane and the trio uses it to escape unscathed.

When the boys lament being unable to collect the diamonds, the professor shows them a smaller diamond that he managed to grab before their escape.

KA-ZAR

John and Constance Rand, along with their three-year-old son David, are flying from Johannesburg to Cairo, when their aircraft crashed into a Belgian Congo jungle. All three survived the crash but later Constance died of the tropical fever. John decides to take the 200-mile trip back to civilization with his son but a terrible storm causes the mammoth baobab tree to fall at him. Permanently deluded after being hit by the falling tree, he makes the jungle their home. David grows up, strong and healthy, in harmony with the jungle and the creatures dwelling inside it, even saving Zar the lion from the cruel death, trapped in quicksand. One day, they encounter a group of natives led by a fat white man. John tries to make them leave the sacred jungle before they profane it. The white man, Paul De Kraft, is a vicious criminal on a treasure hunt and is not so easily convinced to turn back. He tries to shoot John in the back but David sends an arrow to his arm stopping him. Later De Kraft goes to the Rand's hut and shoots John Rand. Rand's son would have met the same fate if not for Zar. The lion, remembering the young man who saved his life, kills two natives and scares De Kraft away.

John Rand dies of his shooting wounds and the feline takes the boy into his lair, accepting him as brother. He would now be called Ka-Zar, brother of Zar, and earn the respect of all the jungle creatures.

REVIEW

Because comic-books either come from Pulp or funnies, stories in this era were very extreme in their points of view. Morals... were not a thing for heroes. Patriotism, on the other hand, would justify anything.

In this first issue of Marvel Comics, we get Namor, who is hard to relate to (to be fair, he is still hard to relate to). And other questionable heroes, like The Angel.

I think the result is ok. It brought something else to the table (although, Namor would probably be the one character here with more legacy). But I found the stories to be too long (and not that complete).

One quick note: This Ka-Zar has nothing to do with modern times Ka-Zar (X-Men).

I give this issue a score of 7

[aion-rsa]

Snake Eyes, Storm Shadow, and the Legacy of Ninja Movies

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

This article contains Snake Eyes: G.I. Joe Origins spoilers.

It’s been a long time since we’ve been to the movies and an even longer time since we’ve seen a ninja flick on the big screen. Snake Eyes: G.I. Joe Origins is a dazzling return to the underrated ninja genre – a breakout premiere in the shadow of the pandemic. 

Ninja films rarely earn a theatrical showing anymore. They are pigeon-holed as B-grade movie fodder, and justifiably so. Back in the 1980, ninja films proliferated when second and third-run movie theaters ruled. Campy, low budget ninja pictures were popular fare there back then, right alongside slasher films and teen sex comedies. But with the advent of home entertainment, those cheap flea-ridden theater seats atop soda-sticky floors are long gone. Nowadays, most new ninja films go straight to streaming so to see one on the big screen is quite a treat for fans of the genre.

Above and beyond the G.I. Joe franchise, Snake Eyes rides on the cloak tails of a massive colorful genre (even if that color is mostly black splattered with sanguineous red). In Japan, ninja films are part of their venerated cinematic category known as Jidai-geki, or “period dramas.” Silent Japanese movies about ninjas can be found as early as the 1910s – silent like Snake Eyes himself. 

Ninjas still proliferate Japanese cinema, especially in anime. Who can deny the impact of Naruto? And as anyone who has seen it knows – Batman Ninja is an uncommon treat of an anime mash-up. There are literally hundreds of Japanese ninja films – anime, classic historical, modern depictions, tokusatsu stories, even a whole sub-genre of erotic ninja films. 

And ninja movies are still popular in Japan. In 2019, director Yoshitaka Yamaguchi delivered his highly regarded dual ninja films, Last Ninja: Red Shadow and Last Ninja: Blue Shadow. Like Snake Eyes, that was a creation story circling around a ninja rivalry. 

Early Hollywood Ninja Movies

The immigration of ninjas to Hollywood goes back to none other than James Bond. In 1967, You Only Live Twice introduced Bond (Sean Connery in his final appearance as 007 in an Eon Production) to a clan of ninja accomplices. The film marked a significant departure from Ian Fleming’s original novel. You Only Live Twice was the conclusion of Fleming’s “Blofeld trilogy” where Bond finally gets revenge on his arch nemesis and murderer of his bride. Bond finally tracks down Blofeld in Japan, hiding in his “Garden of Death,” a restored castle surrounded by poisonous plants, and dispatches him in a brutal sword fight. 

The movie script was written by children’s book author Roald Dahl, who pirated the plot of the second book of the Blofeld trilogy, Thunderball, in which SPECTRE steals a missile, but instead of atomic bombs, it’s a manned spacecraft. In retrospect, it felt right to have Her Majesty’s top assassin introduce Japan’s elite killers to Western audiences. 

In 1975, celebrated action director Sam Peckinpah reintroduced Western audiences to ninjas in Killer Elite. James Caan and Robert Duvall play former covert operative partners, Mike Locken and George Hansen. Again akin to Snake Eyes, Locken and Hansen are split by a vengeance-filled rivalry. Hansen is in cahoots with a ninja clan, led by Negato Toku, played by renowned real-life Karate master Takayuki Kubota. Kubota invented a popular self-defense keychain that he dubbed Kubotan and instructed many celebrities, notably Martin Kove who plays Kreese in Cobra Kai. Sadly, Peckinpah succumbed to cocaine during production and Killer Elite is regarded by many critics as his worst film. 

The 1980s: The Golden Age of Ninja Movies

The addition of Snake Eyes into the G.I. Joe universe came as a reboot of the toys that reflected the times. Originally G.I. Joe dolls were 12” military figures that were introduced in the 1960s. These were reality-based figures, each emulating the authentic uniforms and gear of U.S. armed forces. In 1982, the toy line was rebooted at 3 ¼” scale, the same size as the popular Star Wars figures introduced in the late 70s. 

These new G.I. Joe came out with an accompanying marketing plan that included a simultaneous comic series from Marvel that revealed the rivalry between the “Real American Hero” G.I. Joe team and the villainous terrorist organization known as Cobra. The campaign was so successful that the first animated G.I. Joe TV show came out the following year. 

And at the movies, the great ninja wave began with Chuck Norris’ 1980 flick The Octagon. Regarded as one of his stronger films, Norris played Scott James, a retired Karate champion, who has to face his rival half-brother, the ninja terrorist Seikura, played by another renowned Karate master, Tadashi Yamashita. Yamashita is credited as the man who taught Bruce Lee how to use his signature nunchaku. Norris opened the door for the ninja invasion of the ‘80s with The Octagon, as well as inspired the UFC’s trademarked octagonal ring, The Octagon, which has become a hallmark of the brand.

Following Norris’ lead, Sho Kosugi emerged as the leading ninja in grindhouse cinema. He starred in a series of ninja films beginning in 1981 with his preposterous yet entertaining “Ninja Trilogy,”  Enter the Ninja, Revenge of the Ninja, and my personal favorite, Ninja III: The Domination (although most feel his 1985 film Pray for Death which falls outside the trilogy was his ninja masterpiece). 

The other leading ninja franchise of the eighties was the American Ninja pentalogy. Michael Dudikoff played Private Joe Armstrong in a franchise which echoed the paramilitary ninja connection from G.I. Joe. In the first film, Armstrong faced the Black Star Ninja, seeing Tadashi Yamashita once again playing a ninja baddie. 

Dudikoff was an exception to the rule that ninja film leads must have a martial arts background. However he was athletic and a quick study, and became a dedicated practitioner from his involvement with the franchise. Dudikoff starred in three of American Ninja films. He skipped American Ninja 3: Blood Hunt because he didn’t want to get typecast as a martial arts actor and was anti-apartheid (it was filmed in South Africa). He returned for American Ninja 4: The Annihilation but didn’t appear in American Ninja V. Both Kosugi’s films and American Ninja franchise were produced by that goliath grindhouse of the eighties, Cannon Films. They made ample bank slinging ninja films back then.

The ‘80s ninja craze helped inspire G.I. Joe’s Snake Eyes, and he quickly rose to become a favorite character. The pivotal G.I. Joe comic issue #21, “Silent Interlude,” was published in 1984 (coincidentally the same year the first Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles comic was released). This was one of the first modern comics to be told entirely without word bubbles. It helped set the tone of silence for Snake Eyes’ character. That issue also marked the first appearance of Storm Shadow. 

As with all comic-to-cinema characters, Snake Eyes has several incarnations, depending upon which story you follow. In the comic canon, Snake Eyes suffers a horrible helicopter crash while saving Scarlett’s life. His face is burned and he loses his voice, something very different than what we see on screen in Snake Eyes: G.I. Joe Origins. 

Meanwhile, Hong Kong was getting into the action by infusing Kung Fu movies with ninjas. Leading the charge was the ultimate martial arts rivalry between China and Japan, 1978’s Challenge of the Ninja (a.k.a. Heroes of the East) in 1978, Veteran Kung Fu star Gordon Liu played Ho Tao, who must match his skills against his Japanese bride’s family. Got ninjas? According to Liu, the solution is scattering your yard with peanut shells! 

In a savvy move for those times, Challenge of the Ninja depicts the Japanese respectfully instead of as caricatured villains, with the exception of the ninja who Ho declares to be dishonorable. Challenge of the Ninja is widely considered as one of the all-time best Kung Fu films and in its wake, dozens more ninja films came out in Hong Kong and Taiwan.  

In 1982, the legendary Kung Fu grindhouse Shaw Brothers studios delivered the outrageously imaginative Five Elements Ninjas, directed by the legendary Chang Cheh who dominated the Kung Fu film genre with his gloriously bloody epics. 

The last major ninja film that was released theatrically in the United States was Ninja Assassin in 2009 (coincidentally the same year that G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra came out). It was James McTeigue’s second directorial effort following V for Vendetta, and starred K-pop singer and dancer, Rain. For ninja fans, it had a fitting homage by casting Sho Kosugi as the villain. Ninja Assassin was Kosugi’s final theatrical film role to date. The film hoped to continue as a new ninja franchise, and although it was profitable, it failed to attract enough of a following to warrant a sequel. 

The Rise of Snake Eyes

It’s a bold move for Snake Eyes: G.I. Joe Origins to premiere exclusively in theaters. Not even Black Widow was so daring with the Delta variant looming. As theaters reopen, it seems telling that several of the first theatrical films coming out are about stealthy martial arts masters. 

You could argue that Natasha Romanoff is an MCU ninja (Elektra is the real Marvel ninja but Jennifer Garner’s film doesn’t count in the MCU “sacred timeline”). You could also argue that Mortal Kombat is a ninja movie. Both have black clad assassins wielding martial arts weapons. 

However Snake Eyes is a pure ninja film, unabashed and unapologetic in its style and gratuitousness. Regardless of its G.I. Joe origins, the Joes are peripheral. Snake Eyes evades that with a glorious reboot, shifting away from the canon established in the previous two live-action G.I. Joe films and forging its own path.

Snake Eyes is Hasbro’s Batman Begins. It’s a completely novel creation story for the characters that defies what the film franchise has already established. The origin story of Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow was already told in the first film, G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. While not the central tale, it was a significant story arc that forecasted how the ninjas would eventually eclipse the Joe’s paramilitary characters in popularity. 

In Paramount’s previous G.I. Joe films, Wushu champion Ray Park played the silent Snake Eyes, and taekwondo practitioner Lee Byung-hun was Storm Shadow. Byung-hun is constantly twirling a shuriken like a fidget-spinner, predating the 2017 fad by eight years. Park never speaks or shows his face, in character with the Snake Eyes of the comics. Their teacher the Hard Master is played by another real life martial arts master Gerald Okamura. 

The sequel, G.I. Joe: Retaliation added another ninja, Kim Arashikage, a.k.a. Jinx, played by Elodie Yung, a black belt in Karate. Yung went on to play Elektra in Netflix’s Daredevil. The standout act was a thrilling ninja battle while rappelling down a Himalayan cliffside. That show-stopping scene put the sequel above the original film, especially if you saw it in 3D IMAX. In a sneaky way, the ninja story arc creeps up on the G.I. Joe films from behind, and now it’s all about those ninjas. 

Bringing Ninjas Back

Compared to the CGI bombast of the earlier two films, Snake Eyes has cool cinematic style, bathed in Tokyo neon and split with flashing katana blades. And when it comes to action, it cuts quickly to the chase. Like any good ninja flick, there’s just enough plot to get to the next sword fight, no more, no less. And in contrast to previous outings, Snake Eyes tells a completely different origin story for the mysterious Snake Eyes. 

In this reboot, Snake Eyes (Henry Golding) and Thomas Arashikage (Andrew Koji) meet as adults, not as children. The Hard Master is played by Iko Uwais, a genuine master of the Indonesian martial art of Silat. A practitioner of Taekwondo and Shaolin Kung Fu, Koji best known as Ah Sahm, the lead role in the Bruce Lee inspired Cinemax series Warrior. 

Like Dudikoff decades ago, Golding had no martial arts background prior to accepting the role. Once he landed it, the Crazy Rich Asians star spent four hours a day training with the stunt team in preparation. 

With the exception of Golding, the casting of genuine martial arts practitioners underscores a critical element in ninja films. Ninja films are about martial arts fights. No matter how good the story and acting might be, a ninja film fails if it doesn’t bring great action. Consequently for a ninja film to work, it needs a cast with a genuine martial arts background. 

Golding makes up for his lack of skills with his smoldering screen presence, but much credit must be given to the film’s fight coordinator, Kenji Tanigaki. Tanigaki is one of Asia’s top choreographers who has been in the business since the mid ‘90s. Just prior to Snake Eyes, he oversaw the action on Donnie Yen’s last two films, Enter the Fat Dragon and Big Brother, and completed two more installments of the five-part samurai manga-turned-movie series Rurouni Kenshin. 

Snake Eyes is poised to spin off into its own franchise. The end credits scene with Storm Shadow declaring his new identity to the Baroness (��rsula Corberó) was hardly a surprise to anyone, but it teased the possibility of a sequel. Back in May 2020, Paramount and Hasbro were in negotiations with Joe Shrapnel and Anna Waterhouse to write the script, but then the world plunged into the pandemic and no more developments have been announced at this writing. Will the sequel be Snake Eyes’ The Dark Knight? For ninja fans all over the world, we can only hope. 

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Snake Eyes: G.I. Joe Origins is now playing in theaters.

The post Snake Eyes, Storm Shadow, and the Legacy of Ninja Movies appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[twentiethcenturymoviesandtv]

Growing Pains: The Story

A television show setup, at its core, is the basic idea, the core elements of the show.  The ‘setup’ is what the audience returns to, week after week, the known part of a show.  Setups are easy to spot, they’re what you describe when you try to get your friends to watch the shows.  Whether it’s a military hospital plagued by hijinks, a group of commandos on the run from the law, or a mystery writer who is constantly stumbling upon murders, these setups are what the individual stories build and expand upon.

In other words, the setup for your television show is the foundation that subsequent episodes explore.  

While there are cases when a bad setup can lead to genuinely good episodes, (or vice-versa) traditionally, a show is often only as good as its setup.  It is based on whether or not the audience likes a premise that can enable a show to continue, and in the case of sitcoms, there isn’t usually a whole lot of premises to choose from.  Especially when it comes to the standard domestic-comedy.

So, what’s the setup for this one?

The premise behind Growing Pains is a very simple one, echoed in plenty of other sitcoms to some degree or another.  The dad of the family, Jason Seaver, decides to take his psychiatry business home, choosing to work as a stay-at-home dad in order to allow his wife, Maggie Seaver, to return to her job as a reporter.  This Happily Married couple work together to raise their three kids, who also seem relatively standard for this kind of show.  There’s the oldest (and Breakout Character) Mike, a troublemaking con-man in the making with a heart of gold, middle child Carol, a smart, scholarly Deadpan Snarker, and youngest Ben, a rambunctious kid who is alternatively too smart for his own good, or not smart enough.

There were other characters, of course, (notably the Seaver baby, Chrissy, who would arrive in season four, and homeless kid Luke Brower, played by a young Leonardo DiCaprio in season seven) but for the most part, the stories were centered around the family.  As a setup, this works really well.

The family dynamic isn’t terribly unique (besides the idea of the father staying home to work), but it does work rather well as a setup.  The show’s main cast is five people who are all different from each other, who can interact with each other in different and interesting ways.  You can count on Mike and Carol to insult one another, Ben to misunderstand a concept (early on, especially), or the parents to be in a clash of opinions about how to discipline their kids.  Mix in a bunch of other supporting characters and one-off appearances, and you’ve got yourself a decent setup for a sitcom.

But there’s more to a show than setup.  While it’s true that typically, a show is only as good as its premise, the stories that spring from it end up being the true test of a television program.  Which brings us to the question:

What about the episodes themselves?

The thing is, there’s a large difference between writing a plot for a movie, and plots for television.  A movie has one plot, that has time to be explored and used to examine the characters within the story.  It can afford to be large-scale.

In a television show, it’s not that easy.

When you write stories for a television show, that means that you need not just one story, but several.  This means that you need characters that you can get a lot of stories out of, and in the case of the sitcom, that typically means comedic stories.  That’s the hardest part about writing for television.  You have to write multiple stories, keeping the show interesting while also remaining true to the show’s setup and characters.  That comes easier when you’re writing a show like Murder, She Wrote or The A-Team, where stories follow a very similar pattern, but writing stories for a show that’s meant to depict a family’s life?  That’s something else entirely.

A show that follows the lives of multiple people in a family can’t really have the same type of plot over and over again, because people change, as do their experiences.  Over the seven years of the show, you watch the kids grow up, and experience lots of things ranging from the humorous (Mike continues making up a false image of himself to impress a culturally refined girl at his high school) to the unfortunately realistic (Maggie’s father dies while visiting the family).  As the kids grow older, the stakes get bigger, and as a result, the show ends up being a multifaceted, seven year charting of growing up and finding a place in the world, shown through each of the kids and their different personalities.  For all of the problems Mike has as a teenager, he slowly matures and becomes a responsible adult.  Carol grows to find that life doesn’t revolve around academics.  Ben goes from a trusting, rowdy kid to a somewhat rowdier teenager, and even the parents change as their household goes from five to six with an unexpected pregnancy later on in the series.

Due to the very nature and time that the show came out, the stories tend to be more realistic than the domestic sitcom plots of old, and sometimes, the ending was less than pleasant.  While there were the typical ‘very special episodes’ of the day (there was an episode where Mike is pressured to do drugs at a party), there were other episodes that took the concept of a very special episode, and made it something a bit more serious.  While many family shows of the time discussed things like drugs, or alcohol, few episodes had the genuinely shocking conclusion of the episode ‘Second Chance’, where Carol’s boyfriend gets into an accident while driving drunk.  Instead of him recovering and everyone ‘learning their lesson’, the character dies in the hospital, and the repercussions of that event do not leave by the next episode’s opening credits.  In short, on Growing Pains, consequences mattered, for everyone.  Sometimes the parents couldn’t ‘fix’ the kids’ mistakes, and sometimes the parents made mistakes of their own.  The parents argued, the kids screwed up, but in the end, the family did love each other, and that’s what was important.

Growing Pains was part of a new generation of domestic comedies, family comedies, that had one chief goal: portray realistic family struggles in their stories.  And for the most part, they did.

Along with shows like Family Ties, the stories for typical Growing Pains episodes focused more on what actual families might be going through, scenarios that, while exaggerated (whether for drama or humor), hit closer to home than many sitcom storylines of the past.  As a result, characters were allowed to grow and be more fleshed out.  They were allowed to learn their ‘lesson’, and it made it a more satisfying experience watching the kids grow up, get jobs, go to college, and start relationships.  Even the parents existed as ‘real people’ with their own concerns and worries.  In short, the stories worked very well at making the characters seem like a real family.  The story was always different, and the characters were changing and growing, but in a consistent way that made sense within the rules of the world, our world.  It was through these down-to-earth, character-driven stories that made the audience feel that we were the Seavers, or could know them, whether we were from Long Island or not.

The writers for Growing Pains knew how to tell stories with characters that made sense and seemed, if not ‘realistic’, real.  They handed us twenty minute snippets of events that we could see happening to us, or that have (in some way).  They made us laugh, cry, and tune in week after week for seven years, to share the laughter and love right along with them.

And in the end, that was kind of the point.

Stay tuned for the next article where we’re going to be taking a look at the genre of Growing Pains.  Leave an ask in the ask box if you have any thoughts you’d like to share!  Thanks so much for reading, and I’ll see you in the next article.

[deliciouslyunabashedstarlight]

Bigger Monsters, Higher Expectations

Stranger Things 2

Put up those Christmas lights and stock up on Eggos - Stranger Things has finally returned!

I can relate to fans of Stranger Things on a very personal level. I have merchandise from the show all over my room, I’ve binged the first season likely over twenty times, and I’ve even met three of the young stars of the show. But like most fans, I was nervous about what would become of the sequel of this captivating show. Would it make sense? Would it answer some of the burning questions that the first season had left me with? Would I even like it? The answer to all of the above is yes. Good work, Duffer Brothers. 

We pick up around October of 1984, almost a year after everything had become stranger in the town of Hawkins, Indiana. It seems that things have gone back to normal now that the craziness is behind everyone. However, it seems that some of the events that plagued Hawkins have left permanent scars on a number of its victims. We catch up with the characters just days before Halloween, or as Mike Wheeler (Finn Wolfhard) calls it, “the best night of the year.” Speaking of Mike, it is highly upsetting to see that his heart is still broken now that his love interest, the telekinetic Eleven (Millie Bobby Brown) has quite literally vanished into thin air. When we catch up with the town Sheriff Jim Hopper (David Harbour) he appears to be keeping secrets about something... or someone. The mother of “the boy who came back to life”, Joyce Byers (Winona Ryder) is trying to focus on herself now that her son is safe and sound. She has a new boyfriend Bob (Sean Astin), who she had known back in High School, though it is clearly implied that Joyce was very popular in her teen years and had not even known Bob’s name. Nancy Wheeler (Natalia Dyer), and Steve Harrington (Joe Keery), are, as the final episode of season one sneakily revealed, still a couple even after the violent altercation between Steve and Jonathan Byers (Charlie Heaton), the shy, mysterious older son of Joyce who is also in love with Nancy. However, it seems that Steve’s days of being top dog at Hawkins High School may be coming to an end, as he has finally met his match. Billy (Dacre Montgomery) has just moved to town. He’s the intimidating stepbrother of Maxine (Sadie Sink), another new character who is quick to make friends with Mike, Dustin (Gaten Matarazzo), and Lucas (Caleb McLaughlin). 

The first thing that stood out to me about this season is the killer new soundtrack. An eerie mood is set in almost every scene through the use of chilling drums and synthesizers. At any moment in time, our feelings about what is happening can jump from gloomy to cheerful. Well, as cheerful as a show about monsters from another dimension can possibly get. Anyhow, it is safe to say that where there is an important moment in an episode, viewers are sure to find a fitting song to accompany the story on its path. Matt and Ross Duffer even threw in a few fun tunes, such as the Ghostbusters theme featured in the Halloween episode. 

The most notable element of the entire series (and the reason why it draws audiences of almost all ages) has to be its ability to capture the nostalgia of the '80s. There are shots of the boys riding iconic Raleigh chopper bikes (shots similar to those found in classic films like E.T.), appropriate television programs and commercials of this era, along with spot-on costume choices. 

It is a well-known fact that sequels often do not live up to their predecessors. The plot of Stranger Things 2 is not quite as fresh, rich, and fast-paced as the show’s debut, but this does not mean that it is not worth watching. Most of the action and intensity picks up at around episode 5 (by far my favourite of the season) with a slight decline around episode 7. But fear not, it is the lovable characters that continue to keep us hooked, and I promise that there is a satisfying ending. On the contrary, the character development seen this season is absolutely phenomenal. A certain character (I won’t spoil, you’ll just have to watch!) who was often left in the background last season is built up as a hero in an extraordinary way. I’ll also give a solid A grade for the overall cinematography this season. I either found myself leaning in closer to the action, or away from it during some of the more chilling moments. The stunning visual effects are a fantastic addition to the series, making our encounters with the various monsters nothing less than a thrilling experience. 

As a super-fan, my verdict is that season 2 is a must-watch for people who love the show as much as I do. Though the plot progresses at a slower-pace, is slightly less gripping and does not leave viewers with as many important questions as the last season did, The Duffer Brothers have done fantastic work in creating a satisfying sequel to one of the most hyped-up shows on Netflix. On top of all of this, the Halloween release date is pure genius, I applaud the creators for that alone. By the end of the season, we are still left with a large conflict that I look forward to exploring once season 3 rolls around. 

For those who have not watched the first season yet, I highly recommend that you get caught up as quickly as possible! And if you have already binged the series, Netflix has also put out a behind-the-scenes feature titled “Beyond Stranger Things”. Enjoy!

[jacalynschnelle]

The Dis-empowerment of Beverly Marsh

TW: Discussions of rape, sexual assault, discussions of child abuse I am a horror writer, a horror reader, a horror watcher, and a rape survivor. Trying to balance these isn’t easy. Anyone who’s spent five minutes around the horror genre knows rape is a go-to plot element. To engage with the work I love I’ve learned to wait for reviews from others, often my friends or partner. I watch trailers or read synopsis. I’ve learned the signs, the common beats, and I can usually pick them up from a trailer, or five minutes into the movie. Being raped didn’t destroy my love of horror, so I had to learn to adapt, and I’ve gotten to the point where I am almost never surprised. It was learn that or struggle every day with being triggered, so I learned. ‘It’, a movie based off the book by Stephen King, took me by surprise. King has never shied away from rape in his books, and Gerald’s Game, soon to also be released as a movie, deals almost entirely with rape trauma and the effect it can have on your life. ‘Library Policeman’, a novella, is similar, though with a supernatural bent, and ‘The Stand’ has several heart rending scenes of abuse and survival.

The difference in this case is that the book version of ‘It’ features no sexual assault. What it has instead it a low level radiation of toxic masculinity that permeates all of Beverly Marsh’s life. Her father views her as property, and often accuses her of ‘letting the boys touch (her)’. The last scene with him features an attempt to beat her to death based on this belief, only somewhat influenced by the influence of the clown Pennywise. His interest in her is emotionally incestuous, there is no doubt, as he seems to see women as interchangeable, but his abuse is emotional and physical. The unsettling sexual undertone comes from a father believing his daughter, even at 10, is both a sexual being, and someone he has the right to have sexual control over.

In a culture where ‘Rules For Dating My Daughter’ can be found in every corner of Facebook and Father’s Day merchandise involves shirts like the one below, the story of Beverly Marsh is incredibly important.

The book is a very different portrayal of childhood sexualisation then what we usually see. It is the ‘I have a shotgun!’ speech taken to it’s natural conclusion (”I have a daughter, but I also have a gun, a shovel, and a backyard”), and it is horrifying. If you believe you own your child’s sexual experience, you sexualize them from the moment you begin to believe that. They are not a child to you; they are an object to control, someone who’s decisions about their own body will never be right unless you are involved. That means you must be involved, even before they are sexual beings, to make sure they do not make mistakes. In ‘It’, this leads a preteen to being shamed and almost killed over something she has not even begun to understand. This is one of the (many) reasons the new ‘It’ is deeply disappointing to me. Beverly lives with her single father, and her mother is never mentioned, playing into the stereotype of men ‘needing’ sex and seeking it from their children if they don’t have a partner or aren’t ‘getting enough’ from said partner, a false and harmful idea. The sexual abuse is discussed immediately after we see her interact with her father for the first time. All of the choices she makes in this movie regarding her body related to the abuse. Abuse survivors will often change themselves physically in some way, either as a way to reclaim their bodies, or, as in the movie, to make themselves unappealing to their abusers. However, this was not in the book. The nuance and subtlety is violently thrown out the window in favor of a straightforward sort of sexual abuse. Now the original story wasn't perfect, of course, not even close; but at the end of the day what I saw was one my favorite books and most beloved plot lines become something I did not recognize. Both the book and the movie follow a group of seven children, known around town as outcasts and losers, fighting a force that came from beyond our time and space. As they learn more about the creature that calls itself Pennywise they also discover that they are more than how others see them. The Losers, as they call themselves, spend one terrible summer discovering the unimaginable might of childhood belief and the evil that plagues their town. Unlike the book, the movie chooses to make Beverly a victim, and she is never allowed to leave that role. She is always ‘the girl’ to them; unlike the book ,there is never a single moment of camaraderie where all of the Loser’s are equals. Much like how Mike, the only black Loser, is diminished to a token, Beverly loses any elements of herself that are not connected to her ‘femininity’. She is struggling exclusively with her upcoming menstruation, her father’s abuse and control, the rumors of promiscuity that plague her in everyday life. This movie does not allow her to be the best shot in the losers, or a horror fan in her own right, or a friend, or a multi-faceted character struggling to survive in a world that doesn’t care about her. She is a love interest, and a sexual object for the other Loser’s, with the notable exception of Mike which leads to an yet another unfortunate racist undertone. The ultimate betrayal of Beverly, however, comes from an element unlike anything in the story that inspired it. In the third act the Loser’s begin to fight among themselves, and ultimately disband. After her father’s attack, where she is allowed to save herself, she is kidnapped by Pennywise to tempt the other Loser’s to the sewer for the final battle. She is not with them. The only reason the Loser’s get back together is to save ‘the girl’. She is the damsel for whom the men will forget their arguments.  If they had to go with the kidnapping idea, Mike, who had the least amount of time with the group, or Richie, notorious loudmouth and impetus for the dissolution of the Losers, being the victim could have made the finale fascinating. Driven not by a strange chivalry or romantic interest, but by friendship and loyalty, it would have changed the tone of the movie almost entirely.  As it is, the story ends not with seven Losers holding hands in a circle, equal and devoted to one another, promising to save a town that doesn’t care about them with a blood oath. It ends with Beverly kissing Bill, an uncomfortably long shot that shows us that once again Beverly is not allowed to be a person, that in this world she will always only be the girl.

[furederiko]

The third and final 'Lucky Seven' date of the month (07.27.17, right?)! And the final Random-News-Digest for July! Today's R-N-D is also Part 2 (of 2) of the San Diego Comic Con International 2017 related coverage. This time around, they are all things Marvel-ous. Excelsior...!!!

NOTE: Since the whole page will be entirely Marvel related, it will be written chronologically to their SDCC schedule. Each title will also be assigned in its own category, not grouped into 'Marvel Studios' and 'Marvel TV' like I've always done. Oh, and the images used above are obviously courtesy of The Hollywood Reporter and Marvel Studios Visual Development Team (that one's Ryan Meinerding's art to be precise). All credits goes to their respective owners! Long story short, I suffered a blackout TWO times when I was writing this. Forcing me to start over and over again all day. That's why I haven't had time to actually proofread it (as well as the 1st Part). I'll try to do that as soon as possible, but please pardon for any tipo or grammatical error if you happen to stumble into any. Thanks in advance!

Marvel's Inhumans

Marvel TV and ABC Studios led Marvel's SDCC 2017 big panel on July 20th, by headlining "LEGION", their collaboration with FX Network. A bit odd if you ask me, considering that's a FOX product... but never mind that. Marvel TV Head Jeph Loeb then continued the presentation on 06:15 PM PST, by bringing the cast of the upcoming "Inhumans" series to same venue, Ballroom 20.

Loeb reentered while wearing that hideous Medusa's wig, a clear but hopefully unintentional attempt to spite those fans who have been criticizing it. To be honest, that was NOT a cool thing to do, especially for someone who would received an award by the SDCC commitee the day after. He welcomed showrunner the almighty Scott Buck, drector Roel Reine, and actors Anson Mount, Iwan Rheon, Serinda Swan, Eme Ikwuakor, Isabelle Cornish, Ken Leung, Ellen Woglom, Sonya Balmores, and Mike Moh, who were all holding a stuffed Lockjaw doll in their hand. The panel then showed several exclusive footage from the first couple of episodes. Some bits of those would later be released online via Marvel Entertainment's channel as a new trailer. Now about that new trailer...

Seriously?!! For the love of Lockjaw, it was indeed better with the VFX, but worse with all the ridiculous corniness and campiness that made me feel... embarassed as I seen it. And here I thought The CW's Arrowverse were already somewhat corny. And THAT song choice? Others might... like it, but it was totally NOT my cup of tea. Clearly, it was an attempt to emulate the style of James Gunn and the retro tune aspect of "Guardians of the Galaxy". But... one that failed miserably in my dictionary. It was grating so much on my nerves all through the trailer, that I had to put it on MUTE the second time I played it again (with the intention to get some screengrab, but decided to lose that thought and rinse it out of my head right away). Not only Scott Buck is faulty as a showrunner, I do think he has poor taste in style and music.

Fans got what they wanted, as in to see the VFX effects on Medusa's hair in action. Unfortunately, I have a weird STROOONG feeling that those effects, as well as the others' abilities, will be most of the VFX we'll see in the show. Why? Remember "Iron Fist"? That series had waaay too many chit-chat and dialogues, that all the cool scenes were already spoiled in its trailers. I'm concerned the same thing is happening with this show too. Since we're speaking about VFX, I wonder if this is the final product? For some reason, this felt cheap and fake. I'd be VERY surprised if Mark Kolpac and his team are the one behind this, considering the ones he developed for Marvel's "Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D." looked way sophisticated and believable. I'd gladly take Robbie Reyes' Ghost Rider transformation scene or Daisy Johnson's quaking anytime, over what this series had shown me so far.

Apparently, this extended trailer would be played alongside Christopher Nolan's "Dunkirk" screenings on IMAX theatres. Personally? I'm not sure if that's even a wise decision, considering this didn't even scream IMAX-worthy. Then again, IMAX is paying for this show, so of course, the studio has to deliver one, right? But if you ask me to pay to see it? I'll totally pass. Once again, no disregard, but... just not my cup of tea. Marvel's "Inhumans" will debut on September 1st, 2017 on IMAX Theatre for two weeks. The same footage will then premiere with additional scenes on September 29th, 2017 on ABC.

Marvel's Runaways

This one didn't actually arrived on SDCC 2017, but the news hit the market the same day the "Inhumans" panel took place. Coincidence much? I doubt. "Runaways", the show that was once reported to be released in 2018, will be arriving MUCH sooner than expected. Hulu unveiled the Fall Premiere dates for their exclusive shows, and guess what? "Runaway" is among them, set to be released in November! Of course, it's a good news, even if I won't be able to see it. From the looks of it, this series will be even more faithful to the source material than say, "Inhumans", notable because the comic writer himself is involved directly in it. So assuming the worse happens, that "Inhumans" turns out to be a bad show, Marvel TV already has something to counter the possible negative impact by delivering this in just two months after. Who knows, this might be the show that Marvel TV and Marvel fans in general has been waiting for. I think it's safe to say we can expect that (once leaked) trailer to officially arrive very soon. All (?) 10 episodes of "Runaways" Season 1 will premiere on November 21st, 2017.

Marvel vs. Capcom: Infinite

Let's take a quick detour to the game zone now. This time, for Marvel's popular crossover fighting game with CAPCOM. Yes, the highly anticipated but sadly much criticized franchise had its own dedicated panel on July 21st, 11:15 AM PST at Room 6BCF. CAPCOM used the opportunity to announce four more playable character to the core launch roster. Friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man as representative from Marvel, while Frank West of "Dead Rising", Nemesis of "Resident Evil", and Mike Haggar of "Final Fight" entered the arena from the CAPCOM side. A gameplay video featuring these characters was later debuted through the game's official channel.

It's actually a bit ironic that only ONE Marvel character was revealed in this event. Not to mention, one that is partially a SONY property. I would've expected Marvel to ask CAPCOM to at least, deliver more Marvel characters, particularly new ones that hasn't been part of the franchise like Gamora or Black Panther. Instead, all four of these characters are known to be 'veterans' in the franchise, having been featured in at least one iteration in the past. So yeah, not really a wise decision if you ask me. But who am I to argue, right? "Marvel vs. Capcom: Infinite" will be released for PlayStation 4, Xbox One, and PC on September 19th, 2017.

Marvel's The Defenders

Netflix held their 2nd grand Hall H presentation on July 21st, 05:15 PM PST, and of course, it's for one of their most popular series: the Marvel Netflix-verse. Before the panel got to its big event, Loeb became the star of show as he was awarded with "Inkpot Award" for his excellence in comics and television. I'm not too keen on the guy anymore, but it was a good moving moment, and I'm happy for him.

It didn't take long for the spotlight to be taken away from him though, because actor Jon Bernthal showed up, stealing all attention as the panel's first surprise. He also delivered the first exclusive footage from his upcoming series, Marvel's "The Punisher" (is it... this one?). From what I've read online, the team behind this show had successfully and also faithfully continued Frank Castle's arc from Marvel's "Daredevil" Season 2. I got the feeling, that they have managed to create an amazing balance to Castle's dual emotional struggle. One of his loneliness and grieve over losing his beloved family, and one that is anger and vengeance and he mercilessly track down those who are responsible for it. Sure, the big boss of said violent operation was already executed in "Daredevil", but he DID bring an army to do the crime. That means more people for Castle to hunt!

I still think it's a fatal mistake that he's not included as a fifth member of "The Defenders". He could have added an entirely new dark and gritty color to the team, especially because everyone knows he's waaaay more welcomed than one of its core members. I can't help but wonder though, was Bernthal's presence in the panel, served as a subtle confirmation that he would be in it after all? Not to mention, that recent Netflix Korea featurette (that felt special because it's personally narrated by the great Stan Lee) also included his character. I think he'll be a great addition to the team-up mini-series, and I'd be pretty disappointed if he doesn't even show up... at least for a minor supporting role. Oh well, fans of Castle can still wait for "The Punisher" when it arrives in November.

Cast for "The Defenders" then reclaimed their stage, alongside showrunner Marco Ramirez. All four lead actors, Charlie Cox of "Daredevil", Krysten Ritter of Marvel's "Jessica Jones", Mike Colter of Marvel's "Luke Cage", and Finn Jones of Marvel's "Iron Fist" were obviously present. Deborah Ann Woll from "Daredevil", and Jessica Henwick from "Iron Fist" represented the supporting cast. And Elodie Yung of "Daredevil" was there with Sigourney Weaver as the mini-series antagonists. They teased some bits of the plot, but more importantly debuted a new official second trailer for attendees to see. This one felt more clearer, as Weaver's Alexandra dished out her goal and intention to New York. It showed more ass-kicking action, and more importantly, the characters bouncing off one another in their personal quirks. That's actually the highlight of this trailer, IMHO. By the way, the trailer's already available on Netflix's official channel, in case you've missed it somehow.

But this is Marvel, and even if it's a TV divison, it's not their habit to not show exclusive footage for attendees. So they did, but rather than showing a clip or two, they actually screened the entirety of the first episode for the audience! This wasn't a new thing for Marvel TV, but THAT's what I call exclusive. Several sites have since published their early review for the mini-series after SDCC 2017 ended. These journalist have been allowed access to the first half, or first 4 episodes in advance. In general, they praised the chemistry between the heroes, one that rivaled even the Avengers. But they also unanimously pointed out that Marvel TV hasn't really learned from their mistake: it took TOO LONG to see them finally teaming up. Apparently, it will take a while to catch up with what they are doing after their respective series, which is a bit odd, since the benefit of Netflix is anyone can always re-watched those previous series anytime they want. Oh, and that Jones' Danny Rand is the weakest link and lamest part of the series.

Aaaah, yes, speaking of Rand, the panel delivered a news that I found to be... quite unbelieveable. "Iron Fist" is getting a Season 2. Yay... I guess? I'm quite shocked to see that Netflix actually has faith for this show, even if it's among the lowest Rotten Tomatoes score for a TV show. And particularly, when other Netflix-exclusive shows with higher scores were getting cancelled one after another. It's pretty much the most hated entry of the Marvel Netflix-verse, and it... actually shows.

On the bright side (or... is it? Hmmmm), since the Unparalleled-Talent Scott Buck is busy ruini... I mean, messing aroun... er, WORKING with "The Inhumans", Raven Metzner of the recently cancelled (oh... no...) "Sleepy Hollow" has been assigned to take over as the new showrunner. That means we can at least expect some drastic improvement to the series. Perhaps, we'll be seeing the actual DRAGON (not bulbs) form of Shou-Lao? Lest we forget, "Sleepy Hollow" is an actual SUPERNATURAL show! Simone Missick's Misty Knight has even been hinted to be part of it, and hopefully form "Daughters of the Dragon" with Henwick's Colleen Wing. That fact alone is enough to make me rethink my decision to not give it a HUGE PASS prematurely.

On the down side? There goes my wish for a "Heroes for Hire" team-up. Even if it MIGHT end up happening in the future, perhaps as a direct continuation of both 2nd Seasons of "Luke Cage" and "Iron Fist", the soonest it would arrive is in 2019. I'm not even sure I'm still onboard with this Netflixverse when the time comes. Oh well, let's just worry and rant about that later. For now, we can anticipate to see Danny, along with the other Defenders very soon. All 8 episodes of "The Defenders" arrives on August 18th, 2017.

Avengers: Black Panther Quest

I actually didn't planned to venture into the Marvel Animation category, but since it has an interesting news, I've decided to include a quick one. Yes, the animation division took the Room 6A's stage on July 22nd, 12:30 PM PST, to talk about their future works. One of it, was of course the upcoming Marvel's "Spider-Man" series (premiered the next day, on July 23rd), that's clearly heavily inspired by "Spider-Man: Homecoming". What I didn't expect though, is that they've already announced a renewal the "Avengers Assemble" series! The current 4th Season entitled "Avengers: Secret Wars" had only started airing last month!

And yes, if the new announced subtitle wasn't clear enough for your, the 5th Season will be focused on T'Challa. Does this mean, he will be the leader of the New Avengers in the series? Or this new season will take place entirely in Wakanda, you know, as a synergy to the live action movie that will be premiered in the same year? I can't really tell. I even wonder why they aren't focusing with the Avengers, to coincide with "Avengers: Infinity War". Curious indeed...

LEGO: Marvel Super Heroes 2

One more side mission before we move on to the movies (which is arguably the best categories of all Marvel's participation in SDCC 2017, of course). It's... video game time again! The gang from TT Games this time, as they took over a July 22nd stage at Room 6A, on 01:45 PM PST. In their pannel, they delivered a brand new trailer that featured... Kang the Conqueror. Does this mean, the time-travelling super villain is the culprit behind the game's reality and timeline mash-up? Very likely. Can he top the menace of Galactus from the first game, though? We'll see. "LEGO: Marvel Super Heroes 2" will be released on November 14th, 2017.

Ant-Man and the Wasp

Pheww, now we've arrived on the main menu, as Marvel Studios completed the July 22nd Marvel ride with their grand Hall H presentation starting on 05:30 PM PST. It started 15 minutes late though, due to previous panel running off schedule.

Sequel to 2015's beloved "Ant-Man" got the privilege to kickstart Marvel Studios' panel this year! And yes, that's the official title now. It's no longer "Ant-Man & the Wasp" like was shown in the Disney D23 Expo. Turns out that's merely a placeholder title. Unfortunately, the cast couldn't make it to SDCC 2017, because they are busy in Atlanta filming the movie. Actress Evangeline Lilly had already confirmed this via twitter when SDCC began. But that doesn't mean, it didn't bring anything to the panel. Marvel Studios President, Kevin Feige himself delivered a humorous video by Paul Rudd and Michael Peña, to make up for their absence.

Rudd is a natural-born comedic (not to mention, charmingly adorable) actor, and Peña also has been hiding a bonafide comedic talent all these time (not to mention, equally adorable LOL). So obviously, this exclusive video that has them narrating Marvel Studios' movies since the first "Iron Man" was an easy crowd-pleasing hoot. You've really got to hand it to these guys, because reading the description (via ComingSoon live blog) alone was already making me giggling like crazy. All those meta jokes! Seriously, if there's any exclusive footage from this panel I ever want Marvel to release online, it's definitely THIS one.

But best of all, just like any Marvel Studios' movie, even this footage brought a twist of its own. Because it was later revealed that the duo was NOT dishing out this Marvel Cinematic Universe 'recap' to the SDCC audience (of course they are, but you know the drill). Nope, apparently they were 'educating' a third person in front of them, which was... Michelle Pfeiffer!!! ...Who was officially unveiled to be playing Janet van Dyne. SAY WHAAAT??!!! Dang, this was definitely the coolest casting reveal that the studio ever pulled off. Nope, make that 'yet another cool reveal', because remember when Chadwick Boseman was announced as T'Challa? Or Josh Brolin as Thanos? Last year's Brie Larson? Yessss... Marvel Studios is indeed the king of showmanship. No wonder their Hall H panel is always highly anticipated. In case you're not Marvel educated, Janet is the wife of Michael Douglas' Hank Pym, and the mother of Lilly's Hope van Dyne/Pym. Similar to Pym, she was the original Wasp before the suit was naturally passed down to Hope. She was absent in the first movie, because she was lost in the Quantum Realm, and the subplot between Hank and Hope in that movie was the side-effect to that incident. In the comics, her Wasp was the actual founder of the Avengers! Getting Pfeiffer to portray her is a dream come true for fans, and also the actors. Marvel Studios had truly done it again!

That's not all. There's another surprise from this movie. Feige confirmed that both Hannah John-Kamen and Walton Goggins are in the movie, and they are playing comic book character. The former is a famous Marvel antagonist called the Ghost (who as far as I know of, is never unmasked in the comics), while the latter plays Sonny Burch, a CEO of Cross Corporation with connection to... Obadiah Stane. Ouucch!! He already screams antagonist for me. But wait, there's another one, and it's the famous... Laurence Fishburne! Guess who he's playing? Dr. William Foster, a.k.a the superhero Black Goliath. I know that Foster's name has come up in the rumor circuit prior to SDCC, but who would've imagined Marvel Studios would be getting Fishburne to play him. After "Doctor Strange", and then "Black Panther" with their stellar casting, now this movie joined the parade with its truly giant cast!

According to Feige, MCU's Foster will be Michael Douglas' Hank Pym associate. Easy money says that he's the one responsible for Rudd's Scott Lang's Giant-Man ability in "Captain America: Civil War". Perhaps, that stunt displeased Foster, and caused a rift between him and Pym? Goodness, the potential for drama is exciting! And speaking of Pym, could we be seeing him donning the shrinking suit into action? Recent behind the scene reports seem to be hinting that direction. Imagine how great it would be, if he's using Darren Cross' Yellowjacket costume. That would be a neat faithful nod to the source material! Beside, the movie can even debut their own size-shifting Avengers team, assuming Foster gets to suit up as Goliath as well.

The first official concept art poster courtesy of Andy Park, was later released on the Marvel booth. And it was amazing! Lang is clearly Giant-Man, adding further connection to Foster's inclusion in the movie, while Lilly's Hope van Dyne shows her moxie as the fierce superheroine Wasp. Gotta love that new hairdo too! I personally loved the first movie, and I'm totally crossing my fingers that this sequel will more amazing. "Ant-Man and the Wasp" arrives on July 6th, 2018.

Captain Marvel

"Captain Marvel" was up next, and boy... this one sure unleashed its own might. Still flying solo without the accompaniment of any cast members (since only one has been cast), Feige unveiled a few concept arts from the movie, starting with one of Brie Larson's costume. It was faithful to the modern comics' version, but has some tactical elements that resemble those of Captain America's suit. That fan-artist rendition that hit the internet long ago? That was almost accurate.

He then confirmed the report that Samuel L. Jackson will be reprising his role as Nick Fury in the movie... but with both eyes open. Wait, how? Does he get an eye implant or something? Courtesy of Tony Stark, perhaps? Nope. Because the movie will be set in... the 1990s. This reveal undoubtedly sent tidal wave of surprise throughout the audience, as well as the internet. But it got even better, when Feige unveiled that Larson's Carol Danvers will be dealing with... the Skrulls. This namedropping was purely unexpected, because many (including yours truly) thought that the shape-shifting alien-race belongs to FOX, having been heavily associated with their Fantastic Four franchise. And Feige was not lying, because a concept art of the antagonistic species was then shown to the attendees. It IS indeed the Skrulls! Feige later hinted that the movie will address why this alien race hasn't been seen until now.

Fans of the comics would easily understand the connection to Skrulls and Captain Marvel. Danvers received her powers from Mar-Vell, who is a Kree alien. And the Kree and Skrulls have been fighting wars against each other for centuries. Interestingly, this whole reveal has raised numerous questions among the fanbase. Like: Why the Skrulls? Does this mean, the origin story secretly serves like a pseudo-"Secret Invasion" movie? Does this mean, among the characters we've seen until now, some of them might NOT be the real ones, and purely Skrull disguises? Or does this serve as a hint, that the 2019 Avengers movie will in fact be... "Avengers: Secret Invasion"? More importantly, if Carol Danvers has been active since the 90s, WITH her cosmic powers and all... why hasn't she been around? What has she been doing in almost 30 years? Why didn't Fury call her when Loki rained down Chitauri in 2009 (Fun Fact: "The Avengers" was set a year after "Iron Man")? And also... why is she NOT part of "Infinity War"? Or... she is? Hmmmm...

So many questions, and still 1,5 years for answers. If you ask me, then my personal speculation is... Danvers is basically NOT on Earth. Perhaps, in the aftermath of her solo movie, she was given a mission deep in space? Perhaps she joins the Kree and help fight the Skrulls... in their home planet? Or perhaps... captured? Or... have fun and funky galactic adventures? The temporal differences between Earth and other planet, will provide a valid science that she's aging slower. Perhaps, one hour there, is one year on Earth? Through this scenario, she'll work as the second Captain America figure, being 'lost in time'. Even better, she could have lost her powers all these years, which has happened before in the comics, and Fury helps her to regain her power in "Avengers 4". What I'm trying to say is, this fascinating choice of setting just opens up worlds of possibilities. "Captain Marvel" is set to start production early next year in California, and will arrive on March 8th, 2019. And just be honest, we are all intrigued about it, right? *grins*

There's a quick break following this part of the panel, because SDCC director of programming Eddie Ibrahim arrived on stage to deliver a surprise. Yes, just like Jeph Loeb, Kevin Feige was awarded an "Inkpot Award" for achievements in movies. No offense to the other guy, but this one is far more appropriate IMHO. Not only Feige has delivered the first fully-working Cinematic Universe in Hollywood, producing beloved critically-acclaimed movies every year, his move has inspired other studios to... create their own Cinematic Universe. That's a massive accomplishment, if you ask me, and he clearly deserves it. So bravo, Feige, hope you'll keep on working in the MCU for more many years to come.

Thor: Ragnarok

After the dust had settled, and cheering crowd had subsided, Feige and moderator Chris Hardwick continued the presentation by summoning... the Asgardians to the stage. Director Taika Waititi arrived with lead actor Chris Hemsworth, Mark Ruffalo, Tom Hiddleston, Tessa Thompson, Cate Blanchett, Jeff Goldblum, Karl Urban, and surprise addition in Rachel House. By the way, this was likely just a small set of core cast members, because there might be more actors having brief supporting roles in the movie. Considering Waititi is famous for his eccentric style of comedy, this part of the panel... was another round of hoot. Hemsworth said that he's bored after playing the same character five times, and wanted to... push himself. Either that's the truth or a joke, is rather unclear. Waititi then replied that he decided to tackle this movie, to help 'a friend in need', which was a fun jab towards Hemsworth. Blanchett added, that she also got the part because she lives in the same continent to Waititi. LOL. Then came Urban, who's a fellow New Zealander to Waititi, with another Australian neighbour joke.

Ruffalo revealed that his green giant persona Hulk prefers to stays that way, and not return into puny Bruce Banner in this movie. Hiddleston said that ever since the ending of "Thor: The Dark World", his Loki has been masquerading as the All Father Odin. That proved to ignite problem, particularly with Blanchett's Hela. Goldblum confirmed that his character The Grandmaster, is the brother of Benicio del Toro's The Collector. They are the oldest being of the universe. His tournament on Planet Sakaar? It is called... "Contest of Champions". Hulk is his champion, and Thor will be called "Lord of Thunder" in the ring. House, also a New Zealander (she voiced Gramma Tala in Disney's "Moana", in case her name sounds familiar) is a frequent collaborator of Waititi. In this movie, she played the assistant of The Grandmaster, named Topaz. Apparently, her character has some hidden beef with the other assistant, who is Thompson's Valkyrie. Thompson also teased the enigmatic nature of her character.

The cast kept bouncing off one another. So suffice to say, it sounded like a fun and warm set of people, that you totally want to hang out with. Just look at the photos of them on stage, and one can easily tell that seeing Hemsworth bromancing with Ruffalo and Waititi was indeed a delight. And the chemistry between these cast members easily infected the movie itself, as proven by several exclusive footages from the movie, exclusively shown for the attendees. The first showed Thor's first meeting with The Grandmaster. He then was tossed into a holding cell, where he encountered Korg, a rock-shaped character with a gentle voice, who was played by Waititi himself. The last footage, showed Thor's first encounter with Hulk in the arena. That last one then transitioned into a new trailer, that has since been made available online via Marvel Entertainment.

That trailer was pure amazing, it brought Hall H to their feet. It confirmed the appearance of both Fenris Wolf and Surtur, as both of them will be dealt by Ruffalo's Hulk. If in "Spider-Man: Homecoming", Michael Keaton had his Adrian Toomes so grounded that he felt like that ordinary neighbour you occasionally ran into every now and then, Cate Blanchett gets to hamm it up with so much sass and slurr for Hela, to the point of turning her into genuine scary and intimidating. The bromancing rivalry between Thor and Hulk, would easily be the gem of the movie. But what I truly love about this trailer, is the vibrant vivid colors that made your eyes glare in awe. Yes, not unlike that psychedelic new official poster. Thor might have had a rough time with his first two solo movies, but this time around, he (and Team Thor) seems to be having lots of fun and a blast. Even Variety has included this panel as one of their best highlight of this year's SDCC.

One last thing, Collider caught up with Waititi after the panel, and asked some bits about the movie. It was there that Waititi revealed, that "Thor: Ragnarok" might be... the SHORTEST MCU movie to date. He stated that "The cut right now, I reckon it’s about 100 minutes. It’s not gonna be a very, very long film. I think that stories are better when you leave them wanting more, and this film moves at a clip, it’s got stuff happening all the time. I think people are still gonna feel exhausted by the end, they’ve been on this big journey and stuff, so I don’t think we need the film to be three hours.". But rest assured, because he said that there would be plenty of "Great scenes. Funny, funny moments" that will go as 'Deleted Scenes' in the home video version. For now, look forward to the movie itself in theatres, November 3rd, 2017.

Black Panther

As the Asgardians exited stage right, a horde of Wakandan claimed their land!

Ryan Coogler brought his A-list stars to the stage. Lead actor Chadwick Boseman lead the pack of Lupita Nyong'o, Danai Gurira, Michael B. Jordan, Daniel Kaluuya, Letitia Wright, Winston Duke, and two veteran actors in Andy Serkis, and Forest Whitaker. Coogler opened up about his first experience with the character Black Panther, admitting that he's usually on the other side of the panel, sitting as audience (he did, he was present during WB's panel). Similar to the "Thor: Ragnarok" side, each actor shared their experience in the movie, as well as tidbits of their character. Jordan in particular, revealed that his Erik Killmonger returned to Wakanda, to reclaim her role as a Prince. And why is that? Because the movie will be set directly after the fallout of "Captain America: Civil War". So in a way, similar in timeline to "Spider-Man: Homecoming". With King T'Chaka gone, turmoils began to grow from the inside, as Boseman's T'Challa isn't deemed ready to be a king. Perhaps, a consequence of to his avenging stint in "Civil War"?

Coogler then delivered a completely exclusive footage, that was only shown for the SDCC 2017 attendees. The first one featured a James Bond-esque operation, where T'Challa, escorted by Nyong'o's Nakia and Gurira's Okoye, attempted to take down Serkis' Ulyssess Klaue who has been smuggling Vibranium from Wakanda. Clearly, "Avengers: Age of Ultron" was the solid proof to that. As well as Klaue's prosthetic hand, of course. Martin Freeman's Everett Ross was involved in this scene, as he hillariously screamed himself into hiding. Another footage showed T'Challa, suited up as the Black Panther, in an epic car chase. Wright's Shuri was also seen designing and perhaps weaponizing the Panther suit. Killmonger, was also seen donning his own black/gold color battle suit.

The entire footage had the audience floored, as they immediately jumped to their feet to praise and cheer as soon as it ended. Not just them, the cast hasn't had the chance to see it either. So the stage equally erupted in joy and thrills, as each cast members began embracing one another, celebrating the massive work they've just witnessed. The reaction was magical if you ask me, but also completely real that it actually moved me the first time I saw it. The expression of joy and achievement was genuine! Suffice to say, it was special, and the movie IS going to be special. Not unlike that grand looking poster that was handed out for each attendees.

Obviously, I couldn't commented more since that footage was exclusive for SDCC audience. Yet it's more than clear, that Coogler, his actors, and Marvel Studios weren't playing around. Having long standing ovation was a true sign of greatness, and I hope this movie is as worthy as T'Challa to be the king. Let's cross our fingers, with the hopes that that truly will be the case. "Black Panther" arrives in February 16th, 2018.

Avengers: Infinity War

After a brief teasing by Feige, director Joe Russo appeared on stage to wrap up the panel. He delivered the official trailer for "Infinity War", that had previously been screened to the D23 Expo audience. Remember, the attendees of SDCC 2017 Hall H might not be the same 6500-7000 people. I believe only a very a small portion of those audience showed up in both events, and they are mostly journalists. The reaction on Hall H, was pretty much the same, as everyone got carried away emotionally. It was a perfect way to end the successful panel.

On the other hand, the reaction online was... somewhat opposite. Some fans immediately began complaining because unlike another studio (like... WB?), Marvel Studios did not release this trailer online. A leaked trailer has even surfaced for a few span of time on social media! Yes, this IS the internet we're talking about, so I'm not even surprised. But honestly? I think this was still NOT a good attitude. A bit unfair, even. When you think about the effort and hardship the SDCC attendees had to endure, spending all those long hours lining up, just to be a part of a giant panel like Marvel Studios'? It would make sense that they are given an exclusive first look for the trailer, right? And that's precisely what Marvel Studios was doing. HAS been doing for years, to be precise.

Unlike other studio that instantly released the footage online, Feige and his team were treating their guests as VIP customers. Thus allowing them to experience exclusive footages first hand, meeting the cast, and receiving official posters. Logically speaking, that was actually something to be applauded for. Beside, as I said last week... I'm not sure my heart is literally ready to see "Infinity War" trailer just yet. I did check out that poor-quality leak, but immediately stopped halfway because I couldn't handle it. This movie might signal an end of an era, and it might also be the final time we'll be seeing some of our favorite characters in the big screen. So yeah, to be completely honest... I'm VERY anxious about it instead. I would rather see that comedic Rudd x Peña video over such suspense!

Regardless, there was one thing that I actually felt disappointed about. In a way, I was half-expecting some if not all of cast to show up, just like what happened in Disney D23 Expo (that was just 1/3 of them all, apparently). Perhaps, the then-absent actors like Chris Evans, Scarlett Johansson, Jeremy Renner, and more would take turn and showed up this time. Especially when we realize the fact that "Infinity War" will be released a few months BEFORE the next SDCC next year. Such a wasted of opportunity, right? Alas, that's not the case, so my wish of seeing another massive photoshoot of the cast like last year was too good to be true. Oh well, I guess I'll have to make do with the Asgardians meet Wakandans family photo above. Can't help but wonder though, is Marvel Studios going to held an exclusive private event prior to the movie's release? Next year's the studio's official 10-Year Anniversary celebration, so it would be cool to see all the cast reunited in one huge gala. That might be a bit of tall order, eh? LOL.

Anyways, we did get a few bits and teases about the movie after the panel. That's because the directors and cast members had a quick interview session with the journalists, as has always been the case. Boseman said, that Black Panther will be an important factor in the movie. According to Joe, the movie's final act will be so massive, that he considered it to be a staggering level of scale. He also revealed the necessity of the Black Order, as they serve as some sort of mini-bosses prior to Thanos. At the same time, he's also hoping Thanos would be the new Darth Vader for the modern era.

Oh and yeah, the movie might be among the longest MCU movie to date. "The current cut is over 2 ½, yes. Most of it is a movie you can show. Still a lot of work left to be done... It's certainly going to be a film that lives in the two and a half, two and a half plus range", he said. Make perfect sense really, since it will be dealing with soooo many characters. Even that special SDCC interconnected posters (courtesy of Ryan Meinerding) felt jammed-packed with characters (I didn't see Ant-Man though, I wonder why). We can even expect "Avengers 4" to be the same, since it will also be packed with LOTS of characters. Wow, I need to take a deep breath just hearing that! "Avengers: Infinity War" will be released on May 4th, 2018. I hope when the time comes, my heart would be ready... *sigh*

[justanothercinemaniac]

Epic Movie (Re)Watch #109 - Atlantis: The Lost Empire

Spoilers Below

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: Yes.

Do I remember it: Yes.

Did I see it in theaters: Yes.

Was it a movie I saw since August 22nd, 2009: Yes. No.

Format: DVD

1) The early 2000s have a lot of truly underrated gems, especially from Disney. Along with The Emperor’s New Groove and Treasure Planet, Atlantis: The Lost Empire is probably one of the most underrated and overlooked films in their catalogue. Which is a true shame because it is such a great film.

2) This film opens with the city of Atlantis being washed away by a great flood, but if there was originally an alternate opening featuring vikings with the Shepard’s Journal in search of the fabled city. I prefer the opening we have, but you can watch the viking prologue if you want.

3) Michael J. Fox as Milo Thatch.

I saw this movie when it first came out in June of 2001. I fell in love with Back to the Future in February of 2009. So when I realized Marty McFly and Milo Thatch were one in the same my love for this film only grew. Fox brings a sincere enthusiasm to Milo, and like with the best voice acting you forget that you’re listening to Michael J. Fox. He BECOMES Milo, the guy who has to deal with everyone doubting him while still clinging true to his beliefs. It is a great character supported by an incredible actor.

4) There is a nice juxtaposition between how Helga sets up Mr. Whitmore (“Don’t worry, he doesn’t bite. Much.”) and the quirky little nut Mr. Whitmore actually is.

An enigmatic man who I would’ve liked to know more of, Whitmore is a little eccentric but comes off as a good hearted man. His relationship with Milo’s grandfather seems to be the defining thing in his life, so much so that he’s funding a multi-million (1914 million) dollar expedition to find a myth. John Mahoney (best known for the role of Frasier’s father on Frasier) gives a strong performance in his little bit of time, but this film is filled with strong voice over performances so it is no wonder his stacks up.

5) This line was improvised by Michael J. Fox:

Milo [after he throws up from being seasick]: “Carrots. Why is it always carrots? I didn’t even have carrots!”

6) Animated films tend to be short and with the added benefit of exaggeration need to establish personalities of supporting characters IMMEDIATELY. This is very true of the expedition’s crew. This starts with Jim Varney as Cookie, a hillbilly type who fits Varney’s comedic styling very nicely. Varney passed away before filming was complete, leaving some lines to have a stand in, but his life is in Cookie all the way.

Helga: “The men need their four basic food groups.”

Cookie [holding up three fingers]: “I’ve got your four basic food groups! Beans, bacon, whiskey, & lard!”

7) Oh my god Vinny.

Every line out of Vinny’s mouth is glorious! Voiced by Don Novello, Novello makes Vinny his own in the same way that James Woods made Hades his own in Hercules. I saw a behind the scenes featurette for this film way back when that said Novello improv-d a lot of lines and most of them are included in the film. Vinny is hysterical, with his penchant for blowing things up and dead pan delivery. The crew is made up of a bunch of great individuals & Vinny is no exception.

8) Rourke...

Rourke is the captain of the expedition and - after the film’s twist - turns out to be the main villain. Voiced by James Garner, Rourke is honestly at his most interesting towards the end when he can be a ruthless bad guy. Up until that point he’s a pretty good commander and seems like an honest man. But looks can be deceiving.

9) There are so many jokes you don’t get in these movies when you were a kid (just wait until I do Shrek). For example:

Mole [about his dirt from different countries]: “England must never merge with France!”

10) Although Vinny is awesome, there’s a good chance that Sweets is my favorite crew member in the film.

He’s fast talking, genuinely kind, a good doctor, and when the crew needs to start acting like bad guys he’s the first to abandon Rourke and his selfish quest (although much more quietly than the other characters). Phil Morris - like the other actors - breathes such life and personality into Sweets that you don’t even question that he’s real.

11) I love the wit in this film.

Sweets [presenting Milo with the vials presented above]: “Here, I’m going to need you to fill these up.”

Milo: “WITH WHAT!?”

12) And to round out the crew, Audrey.

Like most of the crew, we learn more about Audrey in a pivotal scene later. But when we first meet her she’s already impressive. Just a teenager, Audrey is the head engineer on the expedition and tough as nails. She knows her shit and is tough as hell, but that’s not why she’s awesome. Well, that’s not the ONLY reason she’s awesome. But more on that later.

13) The Leviathan.

Mike Mignola, the creator and artist behind the character Hellboy, is credited as a production designer on this film. Nowhere is his influence more clearly scene than the leviathan, the mechanical sea beast meant to defend the entrance to Atlantis. It is an impressive feat of imagination and animation, a creature which is truly menacing in both size and design. The leviathan and its attack on the submarine crew could quite well be the best part of this film.

13.5) Why does a science expedition have battle stations? I mean, now we know because they’re mercenaries. But did this not raise any red flags?

14) God bless Packard. I’m not even sure what her role on the ship is besides announcer, but god bless her.

15) The pivotal scene for so many of these characters in this film is when Milo eats with them for the first time and we get their backstory.

Sweets’ of mixed descent, part black part Native American (I believe he said he’s Navajo). He studied to be a doctor when he got enlisted in the army.

Audrey’s father wanted sons, one to run his auto shop and another to become world boxing champion. Her sister has a shot at the title.

Vinny’s family owned a flower shop and when the business next door blew up, “It was like a sign from god! I found myself in that ‘boom.’”

And then of course we get this line.

Milo: “What’s Mole’s story?”

Sweets: “Trust me on this one. You don't wanna know. Audrey, don't tell him. You shouldn't have told me, but you did. And now I'm tellin' you, you don’t wanna know.”

You see THIS is what fleshes out these characters. Its this one scene which makes them more than jokes or stereotypes or archetypes, but real people. We get their conflict, their history. We learn of Audrey’s family, of Vinny’s boredom with flowers, or Sweets’ history in the army. THIS is what makes the film standout in the way it does.

16) Kida.

It’s too bad Atlantis didn’t do too well at the box-office, otherwise Kida might take her place among the official Disney Princess line. Along the same lines as Mulan, Kida is a warrior princess. A woman who can kick ass but also loves her father and her people very dearly. Cree Summer is an accomplished actress in the voice over world, with Kida possibly being one of her finest roles. Kida is tough but never mean, curious but never overbearing, capable but able to form a meaningful relationship with Milo (while also not being too over the top lovey dovey), and just an all around great character.

17) Hey look, its Spock!

Leonard Nimoy has had a number of voice over roles, particularly in the 21st century. Its nice hearing him in this, even if we don’t get to spend too much time with the king.

18) So you know the trope of a 100+ year old vampire forming a slightly weird relationship with a much younger woman?

Well...

19) The betrayal of the crew wouldn’t have hurt nearly as much as it does if it weren’t for the scene where we get all their backstories.

Notably we don’t get the backstories of the two most evil characters in the film: Rourke & Helga. This is when Rourke becomes REALLY interesting and when James Garner has a lot of fun as the bad guy. He’s a brute! A bully! He’s ruthless, pretty much kills the king, beats on Milo when he’s down, all while cracking a jock and flexing his impressive muscles for a 60+ year old man. Rourke doesn’t get enough credit as a Disney bad guy in my opinion.

20) I love this.

Milo [after Rourke asks him to translate better]: “I know, why don’t you translate AND I’LL WAVE THE GUN AROUND!”

I live for heroes telling bad guys who are “in control” to f*** off.

21) The entire crystal chamber scene is just absolutely gorgeous. The early 2000s were noteworthy for frequent mingling of hand drawn and computer animation, with Atlantis being one of the finest examples of it.

Also this shot is gorgeous:

22) I never got this line.

Rourke (after his crew decide to stick with Milo & the Atlanteans): “PT Barnum was right.”

Only now do I know one of Barnum's famous quotes is, "There's a sucker born every minute." And I had to google it.

22.5) Fun fact: Joss Whedon worked on the story for this film! For you Whedonites out there, doesn’t “PT Barnum was right.” sound like a very Whedon-y line?

(GIF originally posted by @marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer)

23) Okay, as a child and even now I was OBSESSED with crystalized Rourke.

Like that image is just very memorable to me, especially after Rourke was supposedly killed by being encased in crystal. It’s too bad we only got a minute or so of it before the airship crashed, but damn that’s just the coolest thing to me. If there are any Kingdom Hearts fans reading this, imagine this: A Rourke boss fight, where after you beat him the first time you have to fight his crystal form and its an even tougher fight.

24) And of course Milo stays in Atlantis at the end, because it is what he and his grandfather sent their entire lives searching for. What would be the point of returning to the surface where either A) no one will believe him, or B) people will believe him and try to take advantage of this culture they found? It’s a great ending which makes a lot of sense.

I love Atlantis. It’s one of my favorite Disney films, but it maybe wouldn’t be if it weren’t so underrated. If you’re a fan of action, adventure, Disney, animation, or heck, even Stargate, I think you’ll enjoy this film.

[aion-rsa]

15 NES Games You Didn’t Know Were Censored

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The NES wasn’t just the home of some of the best games ever made; it was an almost miraculous device that delivered some of the purest and most wholesome moments of many of our childhoods. Of course, part of the reason why NES games were so wholesome compared to many modern titles is that Nintendo usually ensured they were heavily censored by the time many of us played them.

At a time before the ESRB and a global conversation about the impact of video game violence, Nintendo took it upon themselves to impose a strict series of content guidelines that almost all developers had to follow. Those guidelines (as well as regional content standards) resulted in some of the biggest NES games ever made effectively being “censored” in ways that many of us never knew about when we were young.

So if you can’t help but wonder how some of the best games of your childhood were secretly a little dirtier than you ever expected, join us for a look back at 15 NES games you didn’t know were censored.

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15. Ducktales

Wait, Ducktales was censored? Why would you ever need to censor Ducktales? Who would ever put anything into a Ducktales game that’s worth censoring?

The offenders in this instance were the coffins found in the game’s Transylvania level. In the original version of the game, the coffins were decorated with a cross. In the U.S. version, the cross is replaced with the phrase “R.I.P.” As we’ll see throughout this list, the change is consistent with Nintendo’s policies at the time regarding religious imagery in U.S. games. 

14. Mega Man

The Mega Man franchise has actually been censored quite a bit over the years, but you’re not alone if you find it strange that the original Mega Man game had to be censored. After all, it’s a game with little story and seemingly no offensive elements. What is there to censor?

As it turns out, famous Mega Man miniboss Rock Monster was the problem. In the original version of the game, Rock Monster was called Yellow Devil, which actually makes a lot more sense in terms of the character’s design. However, it was ultimately determined that the word “Devil” may be too religious for Western audiences. 

13. Punch-Out!

You probably know that Mike Tyson was eventually removed from Punch-Out! and replaced with Mr. Dream, but what you may not know is that the NES version of the game significantly altered another one of the original version’s most notable fighters. 

The arcade version of the game featured a character named Vodka Drunkenski. As you probably guessed based on the name, Drunkenski was a Russian stereotype who drank heavily during fights. It’s not entirely clear if Nintendo had a problem with the character’s stereotypical elements, but they certainly had a problem with his substance abuse. The character was renamed Soda Popinski in the NES version of the game and was often shown drinking generic soda pop rather than alcohol (even if he still makes the occasional alcoholic reference).

12. Ice Climber

A lot of NES games were censored due to sex, drugs, and all the other things the parents in Footloose were worried about, but the reason for Ice Climber’s censorship is as unique as it is bizarre. 

See, the original version of Ice Climber included enemy seals that you could hit with a hammer. Someone at Nintendo of America saw that and thought “Wow, that looks a lot like seal clubbing” and probably rightfully decided to change the seals to far more intimidating Yetis. 

11. The Adventures of Bayou Billy

Some of the ways that The Adventures of Bayou Billy was censored make sense given the standards of the time. For instance, Billy’s girlfriend Annabelle wears more clothes in the U.S. version of the game, and additional scenes of violence (including an alternate game over screen that showed Billy reaching out to the player as he is dying) were removed. 

Then you have the game’s ending. The original version of the game’s ending let you walk away from Annabelle and trigger a darkly hilarious sequence where Annabelle stands there confused and alone. In the U.S. version, you can only access the happy ending where the two get together. It’s not entirely clear if the change was the result of “censorship,” though that move does track with some of Nintendo’s other censorship decisions at the time.

10. 1943: The Battle of Midway

In a comparatively rare instance of an NES game that was censored in Japan but not America (or at least changed due to regional differences), 1943: The Battle of Midway’s name was changed to 1943: The Battle of Valhalla in Japan. In-game, the title is often shortened to 1943 (in both regions).

The reason for this change is probably pretty obvious to history buffs and anyone familiar with 1943’s premise. After all, the game sees you play as an American pilot tasked with shooting down Japanese aircrafts on his way to sink the Yamato battleship. That premise was obviously considerably more awkward in Japan, although it’s not clear why The Battle of Valhalla was chosen as the replacement name.

 9. The Legend of Zelda

Here’s a weird one for you. In the Famicom Disc version of The Legend of Zelda, you could use an item simply referred to as a “Bible.” The name of this item was later changed to Book of Magic in order to remove a pretty obvious religious reference.

What’s really odd about this change is that the “Bible” reference only appears in the Famicom disc version of the game. The NES and Famicom version both use the Book of Magic name, though the latter’s Japanese characters still spell out “Bible.”

8. Dragon Quest/Dragon Warrior

While later Dragon Quest games (especially Dragon Quest 3) were heavily censored in the West due largely to religious references, the original Dragon Quest (or Dragon Warrior, as it was known in the West) features an incredibly bizarre instance of censorship that has long confused players. 

See, in Dragon Warrior, you encounter a character who tells the player they have no tomatoes to sell them today. An already bizarre line is made all the stranger when you realize that character offers the player a “puff puff” in the original version of the game. While the exact meaning of “puff puff” has changed and been debated over the years (it initially seemed to refer to a massage technique involving a woman’s…umm…nevermind), the idea of receiving a “puff puff” has since become a running joke in Dragon Quest.

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7. Castlevania 3: Dracula’s Curse

The early Castlevania games were usually censored over religious imagery, but Castlevania 3 stands out both for the sheer number of things that were censored and the things that strangely weren’t censored.

While the NES version of Castlevania 3 heavily targets instances of nudity (which includes putting clothes on nude statues and altering Medusa’s female form to something more nondescript), it actually features rarely seen instances of religious imagery in an NES game. You even encounter a giant cross at one point, though the “glowing” effect featured in the original version was removed in international ports.

6. Uninvited 

Uninvited features so many instances of violence and religious references that it’s honestly amazing Nintendo even bothered to port the game at all. Needless to say, nearly every religious reference was removed for the NES version of the game and many of the more graphic descriptions of enemy attacks were edited to be less intense.

Interestingly, though, you still find a letter near the beginning of the NES version of the game that’s addressed to “Master Crowley.” Why is that so interesting? Well, it’s a clear reference to Aleister Crowley: the most famous satanist ever. That one seems to have slipped by the censors.

5. Deja Vu

Much like Uninvited, Deja Vu is such a comparatively “mature” game that it’s honestly a shock that Nintendo bothered to port it. Again, nearly every reference to gun violence, drugs, alcohol, and sex was either cut from the game or heavily edited, which is what you’d expect.

What’s interesting in this case are the things that Nintendo decided not to censor. For instance, there’s a prostitute in the game that isn’t referred to as a prostitute in the NES version, but you’re still able to hit and shoot her if you choose to do so. She’s also able to shoot you, though the graphic description of where she shoots you has been edited out of the NES port.

4. Final Fantasy

Many of the ways Final Fantasy was censored can be blamed on the usual content suspects. For instance, “churches” were renamed “clinics” (and the crosses outside of them were removed), and Medusa and Earth Medusa (who were both topless in the Japanese version of the game) were redesigned.

Then there’s the matter of the “Kill” spell (which is also known as “Death” according to some translations). While Nintendo obviously decided to not use the word “kill” for the Western version of the game, the fact that they changed the name of the spell to “Rub” really boggles the mind. I suppose it’s supposed to be short for “rub out,” but even that is an odd choice of wording.

3. Bionic Commando

While a couple of the smaller ways that Bionic Commando was censored are downright hilarious (including changing the line “Get the heck out of here, you nerd!” to “Don’t be hasty advance with caution.”), most of the game’s censorship revolves around Adolf Hitler.

Hitler is featured so often in the Japanese version of Bionic Commando that he even has a prominent place on the game’s original cover. In the U.S. version of the game, though, Hitler is changed to a generic dictator named Master-D. That version of the game also replaces every Swastika with an eagle logo and refers to the Nazis as “The Badds.” Sadly, this means that U.S. gamers also missed out on the original ending in which Hitler’s head explodes Scanners-style.

2. Maniac Mansion

It’s impressive that Maniac Mansion was ported to the NES at all given the game’s complexity and content, but it’s not a stretch to suggest that this is the most censored game in NES history. In fact, we could fill an article with every instance of censorship in this port. For that matter, we could spend an entire article talking about the very horny Edna and the many ways she was changed in the NES version of the game.

If you want to really appreciate just how heavily this game was censored, though, then we need to talk about “S.C.U.M.M.” That acronym stands for “Script Creation Utility for Maniac Mansion” which was essentially the engine used to design the game. However, the NES ports’ developers weren’t allowed to use S.C.U.M.M in the credits as it was too close to the word “scum” which Nintendo considered to be offensive.

1. Contra

Contra deserves to top this list not just because of the extent of its censorship but the fact that it’s one of the few NES games that was specifically censored in PAL regions.

Actually, in PAL regions, Contra wasn’t even called Contra. The name of the game was changed to Probotector and all human characters were replaced with robots. That includes Contra’s playable characters (Bill and Lance) who were changed to robots and renamed RD008 and RC011. Why were such extensive changes made specifically for that region? Well, they seem to be largely based on German content laws at the time that prohibited shooting people in video games, but they may also be related to concerns over Contra’s U.S. military associations. 

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